Hungary w/ Graham Kay | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

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You like this shirt?

I think it's a great shirt.

I got it from, I traded it with a guy in Canada somewhere

in Newfie somewhere.

Oh, yeah?

Newfoundland?

Yeah, either Halifax.

I think outside of the show, this guy had it.

I was like, that's cool.

He goes, you want it?

I'm like, yeah.

He goes, I'll give it to him.

I'm like, yeah, you got to wear a shirt, though.

Whatever shirt I had, I was like, I'll just swap you.

I had a cool shirt on.

Somebody gave me that one, too.

But this is cooler.

Visit Palestine.

I do not think it looks like this anymore.

Oh, yeah, because the stuff.

The stuff.

Right.

Don't fuck with us.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Old Bibby's up to his tricks, huh?

Where you been and where are you going?

This is Ari's travel show.

Yeah, we're going to talk about travel today.

It's you be trippin'.

Yeah.

Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to you be trippin'.

It's a travel podcast.

Every week, a guest takes us to a place that they've been, a different place every time.

It's the only podcast in America that is

endorsed

by the Canadian Trucker Convoy in Ottawa.

Please help me welcome to the stage today.

Graham K.

Hi.

Do they sponsor this?

Because

I don't love that group.

I don't know anything about them.

But, you know, I'm a climber.

I want to do well, so I'll suck it up.

I think mostly they were just there to drink and then a few people were like well we have a cause and everyone's like oh that they kind of spoke for the group, but most everybody was like we're just here to drink they're uh This is how pathetic Canada is is they were a group of they're like a Canadian truckers Yeah that were

you know anti-vaccine, okay, okay, and but then they drove a convoy all across Canada and stopped working, so stopped making money and drove to Ottawa to honk in front of the parliament buildings and they had and they had like uh Trump 2020 flags.

Trump.

It's like a different

it's a different country.

It's not about choosers.

It's not about

what he represents.

Morals.

It's like this freedom country.

And they're honking at old ladies picking up groceries and stuff.

It's like nobody

thinks oh, you're from Ottawa.

You're the you're Trudeau.

It's like, no, we're just people buying groceries.

Every time there's a rally or something, I went on an anonymous rally, anonymous march once.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they would just, it was near here, it was Union Square, and they would like walk past people sitting at cafes like outside, like look, like looking at them and like, wake up, sheeple.

And I want to be like, guys, guys, they're not, they don't even know what you're doing.

Yes.

They're just looking at a broken.

That's the other side of the coin.

Yeah.

It's just people who want some, they want to belong.

Yeah.

People want to belong.

Go.

Something to do.

Yeah, exactly.

They just want to belong.

That's what everybody is.

Yeah.

Where do you want to take us today?

What are we going to talk about?

Well,

my first job out of university or college, if you're in a business.

You actually remembering now, you were on Skeptic Tank, an old defunct podcast, and you talk about how many times you got fired.

I was fired 18 times.

We did that from the apartment I was staying in.

You know what's funny?

In my opinion, the funniest story I forgot to tell, and it was the last one.

I got fired from being a house painter for painting the wrong house.

Fair.

How did I forget that on a coffee podcast?

Oh, yeah.

Anyway,

my first job, my first, I had an office job during college, and I worked for the Canadian Post Office Administration, and I was able to finangle.

Did you say that word again?

Finangle?

Spell it?

No.

Because you can't?

I cannot.

I can't spell it all.

Finangle.

There's one N in that.

Really?

Yeah, you're putting how many?

Fin

Two, at least.

You're putting two, yeah.

It's one.

Finagel.

It's finagle.

It's finagle.

Is it a Yiddish word?

It sounds like it, right?

Yeah.

Is that why?

You're using your special powers?

It may be.

Hold on.

Let me see here.

It's a not finangel, finagel.

But anyway, I

got a job as a war profiteer working.

Oh, finagle is not a Yiddish word.

It's an American slang terms.

It means to get something through trickery.

This sounds Jewish.

Manipulation or guile.

For example, you might finagle an assignment to a committee sounds at least Jewish in some way

yeah we're recording this time I'm not recording there we go okay

is the podcast started the podcast has started but this recording oh the TV TV recording is not good you checked let me get your website up here so people can see it

There you are, in case you don't know who I'm actually talking to, and there's your Instagram, which is

Mr.

Graham K.

What is this line they're putting through Instagram?

I thought you just did that with your mouse.

No, it was in Ian Sterling's also.

What the hell?

Anyway,

I got a job.

The Canadian government paid me to work for a private American company.

The line.

Yeah, I don't like that line.

Canadian.

Sorry, sorry to interrupt you.

I was a war profiteer in Budapest, Hungary, during the height of the Iraq War.

A war profiteer?

I was a war profiteer.

That means someone

makes profit off the war.

Off of the war.

We were the middlemen.

I did logistics for a company that...

Now, off-air, we were talking about the breakup of Yugoslavia.

So this company was an American, it was an American company founded by American

with Hungarian ancestry.

So Budapest is the capital of Hungary.

Okay.

There's some American bills over there.

You know which one it is?

You have American bills?

No, Hungarian bills.

Oh, you.

I was like, I do know American bills.

As a matter of fact, I might have some in my pocket.

Yeah, I do.

Which one?

Bottom right, I think.

Yeah, there's a Canadian 20.

There's a yellow one.

I could see that.

4,000.

Anyway.

Yeah, they're not doing well.

But

despite, yeah, anyway.

I'm a bad host, so I realize I'm going to distract you a lot.

So you just got to kind of

keep it going back on.

You can't be throwing balls to the dog,

pointing at at bills, saying, Have you ever seen an American bill?

Which is what you said, and then pointed at a wall.

I'm going to look.

I've got an American Bill over here.

By God, he's got a Fiverr.

That was a big choice, not to put up a one.

Yeah.

I have a two on my fridge.

Really?

An American two.

You know, they're magic in Ecuador.

Think about that.

Huh?

They're magic in Ecuador.

What do you mean?

The American two.

Their magic?

What do you mean?

You can't just say that.

If you go to Ecuador

and pay with a two, let's say it's $8, you give a 5, 1, and a 2, you'll stop traffic.

They're like, what?

Yeah.

If you tip,

and you tip with a two,

even if it's $100, that tip with a two is like saying, here, I'm going to name my baby after you.

Wow.

They're like, wow.

What about a Sekajawea, like one of those $1 coins?

You don't give a fuck.

No.

Crisp 2 will get you a lot.

You should tell them it's gold.

Yeah.

Black gold, they call it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But anyway, so.

How'd you get that job?

The Canadian government had this like...

Post-a-stamp yourself and send it over there?

I put a bunch of pictures of the Queen of England and Maurice Richard playing hockey.

The Canadian government had this program that they would send people overseas

if they had a college degree and were under 30, and they would pay for it.

And they had a website where you could apply for these different jobs.

And these companies would sign up for it.

You could do anything from digging a well in Africa to being like a D, like helping a DJ in London or something.

Interesting.

The idea, I don't know why, but the idea being I guess you get your young people overseas and then they'll make businesses and then whatever.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

So anyway, this company, they made a bunch of money in the Yugoslavian war

being the middleman between American army bases and

the corporations that sell the American Army stuff.

They're like, we'll ship it and do the logistics and everything.

And then that war ended and you started.

So we're saving money off war.

Yes.

Like that's my business.

It's like, I don't want war.

Eventually you will.

But like,

but like, hey, it's happening.

100%.

So anyway, that war ended.

Then they decided the

Iron Curtain's fallen down.

We're going to bring American know-how into corporate moving or whatever.

Then the second war, the Iraq war starts up, 2005.

Boom.

They're like, we still have all the emails and all the contacts for the American army and military.

Let's start this up again.

Budapest is right in between time zones between Iraq and America.

We can do it in the same day.

We can do the business in the same day between both.

And so my job was to basically, we didn't sell any weapons or ship any weapons.

We shipped everything an army base would need.

So with Camp Victory outside Baghdad International Airport, or was within Baghdad International Airport, it was called Camp Victory, and they had to change the name because it's bad publicity because they didn't win.

But they.

Camp Victor, Iraq?

Yeah, in Iraq, is right.

Baghdad International Airport, and then they had a big wall around it.

And then they had something called the Green Zone in Baghdad.

So they had the Tigris River that was, you know, on three sides you were surrounded.

And they built a wall on the bottom side, and then they were completely encased and safe in the green zone.

And then they were safe in the airport.

And there was a highway running to downtown

Baghdad in the green zone and

Baghdad International Airport, Camp Victory, and it was the most dangerous stretch of road in the entire world.

Because bombs and stuff?

Because bombs and insurgents and everything, and they had something called a rhino bus.

So the people that worked for us, they would.

This is Camp Victory, this thing on the water?

No.

I think that's a palace inside Camp Victory.

That is

Saddam Hussein's old palace, and that was also near the airport, I guess, and in Camp Victory.

And so the American military set up operations

in that palace.

It's so funny because that reminds me of like you play a show in like

Stockholm or something like that.

Like, oh, you know, this is like a Nazi base.

Yes.

This is a Nazi headquarters.

And it's like, they didn't build it for that, but they just took it over.

They took it over.

And the South of France has the Rolling Stones recorded an album in an old Nazi headquarters in

the south of France.

Hello, everybody.

I'm breaking into today's episode to let you know exciting news about our guest, Graham Kay.

He's a hilarious stand-up comic.

He's one of the nicest guys I met when I was in New York.

Even though he's from Canada, not even though.

Legitimately, Canadians are nicer.

I love how everyone gets confused about politics versus actual humanity.

And they go, oh, Canadian politics.

At least my friends.

At least my friends in Texas, especially.

I have friends, I have conservative and liberal friends.

And it's very funny.

I sit back as a non-political person and I just watch them yell at each other.

And neither one are really listening to what the other one's legitimate gripes are.

They're always talking about each other's fringes.

Anyway, anyone who bitches about Canadians hasn't really hung out with a Canadian.

They're legit way nicer than Americans on a day-to-day level.

They're just friendly.

They're outgoing and friendly.

And Graham is.

And he made me feel at home.

And on top of that, it's one of the funniest comics you'll ever meet.

Oh, we got into some fight.

Actually, can I share this?

I will share it real quick.

First, I'm going to tell you, he's doing a one-man show at the Soho Playhouse.

He's doing its first one-man show out here in New York.

It's July 9th through August 3rd.

Get tickets at SohoPlayhouse.com.

He also said there's a promo code just for my listeners, Peter Parker, P-E-T-E-R, P-A-R-K-E-R.

Why is this transcribing?

That's crazy that it just starts transcribing.

This phone, I mean, they're not even hiding it anymore.

The way they're listening in.

Pete and me, it's about a grown-up, hilarious tale of growing up with a brother with severe autism.

King of the retards, I called them.

The jelly bean counters of the world.

We need it.

Hey, you drop a box of jelly beans, a whole fucking thing, and it comes out.

Oh, shit, I dropped all the jelly beans.

Somebody's like, How many?

Was I like, how many?

How am I supposed to know?

You bring in a fucking ringer.

846.

It's actually a joke from my special.

America's sweetheart.

Go see Pete and me at the Soho Playoffs July 9th through August 3rd.

Get tickets right now at sohoplouse.com.

You can also go see Graham K

on the road.

He's got two big dates.

Comedy Bar in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, September 9th, the Comedy Bar.

I'm sorry, September 6th, the Comedy Bar.

And then in October in Cincinnati at Bombs Away, Cincinnati, Ohio, October 24th and 25th.

Get both tickets at GrahamK.com.

Me, I just got one more road date left, and that's it for a year and a half.

It's Charlestown, West Virginia.

If you live anywhere near it, come on out.

All different material from America Sweetheart.

Charles Downwith's vision to get tickets at our shipper.com.

Please subscribe wherever you're watching and listening.

But guys, I'm testing new mics, by the way.

I've got exciting news.

We got new merch.

We got

stickers and we got t-shirts.

You'll be tripping stickers.

Three colors.

They wanted to do a three-pack for fucking 15.

I said, no way.

That's $5 each.

It's actually not bad.

$5 sticker is about right.

I said, you know what?

Let's do a six-pack.

$2.50 each.

Three colors.

You'll be tripping.

What I'd like you to do is put these in wild places all over the world.

We got a nice blue.

I'm going to fucking get right into the thing here.

Isn't that fucking cool?

Designed by Lee and Gwynn.

Abracadaver.

We got a

maroon on cream.

That's a cool one.

Like, put these on, like...

You know, wait, how is it?

There you go.

Legitime, I want you to put this on, like,

on a pyramid in Egypt or in Machu Picchu or at Ann Frank's

house.

And we got it clear.

That I think is for passports.

I'm going to put my, I don't have my passport here, I have it at home.

But it looks like a passport stamp, and I think it would go great on your passport holder, even in a page of your own passports.

All clear.

I don't want to waste this one.

Maybe I will waste it.

No, see?

Can you see it?

All clear.

Yeah, so it would go fucking great in a fucking passport.

Actually,

my journal I'm going to do.

The journal I'm taking travel in that I got

in a special place that I will tell you about later.

So, you just take these out, fucking unstick them.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

I just unstuck it.

By the way, the hardness it takes to unstick a sticker, the better the quality.

Okay, we got the Ubi Trippin

and boom, right there.

So let me show you what it would look like in your

own book.

Boom.

Sticks right there, and there you have it.

All these stickers are available right now.

We've also got t-shirts, Ubi Trippin' t-shirts.

I'm going to put this one on this water bottle right above or next to Burt's tit.

Yeah, make your own water bottles.

Six-pack!

That allows you to fucking use one and a passport, give one to someone else, maybe that you meet on the road.

Like, wait, you listen to this podcast too?

Or turn them on to it.

If you're traveling, if you're backpacking around the world,

turn them on to it.

and say, hey, you like it actually?

I listened to a few episodes.

I'm like, oh my god, I love it.

Talk about it for a while.

I was like, well, I got a gift for you.

One passport stamp sticker or a water bottle sticker.

Boom.

Come on.

There it is.

There it is.

Proudly.

Ooh.

Boom.

Goes the dynamite.

There it is.

Put in a picture of the t-shirts, same design,

red on black.

Another one mint on like a greenish.

That's it, everybody.

Yeah, you be chipping.

You can get it right at the bottom.

If you're watching on YouTube, you get right on the bottom.

There's a link right there for merch.

Otherwise, go to rshafir.com.

If you're listening, they should have this on whatever.

But a six-pack of stickers or the new Ubi Chipping t-shirt.

That's it, guys.

Let's get back to the episode with Graham K talking about Hungary.

And in the outro, I'm going to talk about this.

We finally completed the wall.

All right, let's get back to the episode.

I thought I was just going to Budapest to work for a company that was helping NATO build hospitals in Iraq.

I thought I was going to be they lied to me and I was like, okay.

And then I got there and I remember it took me like

I'm a little slow maybe.

It took me like you could be like a great tard.

What's that?

Like one of the greatest tards.

Thank you.

Yeah.

I'd rather be the top than like the dumbest normal guy.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Big fish, small punch.

No, I'm working hard.

Yeah.

My little pistons are running hot.

I do paperwork.

So it took me like, this is a year contract.

I'm in Budapest now, and I'm 23, 24.

What a time.

And I have an apartment downtown, two-bedroom apartment I share with another guy.

Did they get it for you?

No, we did it ourselves, but they helped us.

I think they.

But it was like a sick apartment downtown, you know.

Anyway,

so after a couple months, I go,

hey, I think,

because I remember we were like

working,

we're shipping things, we're taking, we're like, you buy a hammer at Lowe's

in America, and then you want to ship that hammer that you bought for $3

to Baghdad International Airport or nails, or a comic book, or anything an Army base would need because they're children, so they need comic books.

We'd ship a lot of comic books.

They're all 18.

They're all 18.

And

so

you take a hammer, you buy it at Lowe's for $3 in America.

By the time it gets to Baghdad International Airport, it's like $25

with all these middlemen like us.

Charging it more.

Taking charging war.

Offsetting the cost.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So

we were called AES Cargo, and we were one of the, us and DHL were the only two companies to have bases in Baghdad International Airport and the Green Zone.

So

we shipped a lot of stuff.

And

you'd call Iraqi customs.

So you're calling Iraqi customs.

These are Iraqis.

But what happened is

when the Americans took over, they said, you could have your own president,

but we're gonna run the infrastructure.

And then they privatized it and sold it to all their friends.

Dick Cheney sold it to all of his friends.

What do you mean?

What's the infrastructure?

Like, if you were to call Iraqi customs, you wouldn't get a Muslim man picking up the phone speaking in Arabic.

So it would be a separate customs, or did they just ran Iraqi customs?

They ran Iraqi.

It would be Lurlene from Mississippi would answer the phone.

Wow.

That's interesting.

Keep going.

And be like, hey, it's Iraqi customs.

That's crazy.

Because they privatized it.

And

it was,

I'm having a brain far right now.

It was Dyne Corp was one of the big corporations.

I've heard of them.

And then it was what was...

Dyne Corp.

Dick Cheney was on the board of

Halliburton.

Halliburton.

And so Halliburton and Dyne Corp were the two major companies that I would be calling to try and get...

let's say rebar building supplies into Iraq.

And then I would call Lurlene at Iraqi Customs.

Hi, hey.

And I'd be like,

all of my Halliburton and Halliburton stuff is through,

but all my Dyne Corp stuff is like waylaid.

You know, it's like being held up.

And she'd be like, well, I can't help you with that.

And then I did research and I found out that Halliburton was running Iraqi customs.

They privatized it and gave it to all their friends.

So they would intentionally hold up the competitor stuff.

Yes.

So

they were intentionally holding.

And so I go to my boss, I go, hey, I think, uh,

I think there's some corruption here.

I think that we're, I, I think we're, and also, I think that we're war profiteers.

And he's, he was a, he was like an Australian guy.

He started laughing because like he wasn't the main boss, but he was an Australian.

He goes, ha, he goes, he goes, he goes, it's the mob might.

You break someone's windows, and then you go, I,

I sell windows.

That's all it is.

Wow.

Yeah.

And so.

why did you go to Australian for that?

Huh?

Why did you just go Australian for that?

Because he was from Australia.

Oh, okay, okay.

And then you were looking at the ball, weren't you?

I forgot the Australian part.

Yeah, it's possible.

But then,

yeah, so I just started going like, screw this.

I stopped.

I still had the Canadian government's paying me.

They're not paying me.

Oh, interesting.

So I started to just like fuck off.

Which tracks for the Graham K fucking yeah you're not looking to keep jobs you're looking to keep them longer than you will eventually that's right yeah I want I knew I wanted to be a comedian anyway and I was like I hate this job and if I it's an office job and I'm in Budapest I was like if I hate this then I'm gonna hate it in Ottawa yeah guarantee you that

in the running at least for most boring city in Canada oh easily easily the most boring gotten worse yeah has it I think it's gotten a little better homelessness has gotten like, it's actually like now finally not safe.

It's safe.

Okay.

Were you just in Ottawa?

Yeah, I was there not too long ago.

It's very safe.

Last year.

But they were like, oh, this homelessness now here.

Well, for them.

Maybe that's what it is.

They were all bitching about it.

I was like, this is always a place I could just do mushrooms and like I'm the dangerous one.

No, it's still like that.

Trust me.

It's

that

three people get stabbed a year and they're like, it's not safe out here.

It's like, well, it's a million people.

Maybe the city's growing.

Yeah, right, exactly.

But anyway,

I literally went home for the holidays, and the six o'clock news on the radio was like,

I'm not joking.

A man fell from a ladder today in Van Yay.

Man fell from, dear Lord,

stop the car.

So anyway,

I'm like,

I'm just going to

start fucking off, not doing a good job.

That'll be

my silent protest and see how long I can keep this.

I love how it's like silent protests instead of just like laziness.

But like, let's call it something.

Or were you like, like, I can see it's like Schindler run the things.

Like, let's run the company slower so we give them less.

I will say that 50% of it, I will admit, was being a 23-year-old who wanted to party.

But I was trying trying hard before I pieced this all together.

I was like, maybe this will be a future for me.

I'll live in Budapest.

I'll be this like expat dude who works in shipping,

importing, exporting.

And I've got this cool, like,

weird life.

They were going to transfer me to that.

It is cool.

They were going to.

Yeah, it was super cool.

Budapest is incredible.

They were going to transfer me to Prague because they liked how well I was doing.

And my mom is from Czechoslovakia and was like, you're going to work in Prague.

Oh, my God.

You'll be close to family.

I'll come over.

My boy's finally, you know, making good because I got sent to boot camp in high school and stuff.

Still, Czechoslovakia back then?

No, it split up in 93.

This is like 12 years later.

Okay.

So

she's from Slovakia, the Mikhailovse in the east side.

So,

anyway,

then I'm like, I'm not doing this.

I want to be a comedian.

And I just started taking every three-day weekend and then calling in sick.

And

I went to

Munich.

I'm a big history guy, a big World War II guy.

And I'm a fan of a lot.

Tactically.

Tactically, he had good ideas.

No, no, no.

It's like the liberals who can't see that Trump is funny ever.

And I'm like, well, I mean, I got not liking him.

They're eating the dog.

That is funny.

And he's like, that's not, he's not funny.

I'm like, well, you're not going to give me anything.

You've got to give it up for Hitler's tactics.

In the beginning.

For war.

The war tactics.

In the beginning, yeah.

I would say

invading Russia.

Yeah, getting all of,

dude, getting all of your soldiers and putting them on meth.

Yeah, it's a good idea.

And good, it was a good idea.

Yeah.

Everyone's like,

they just won't stop marching.

How are they doing this?

Well, they're on meth.

Their teeth were falling out, for God's sake.

Just like grinding their teeth.

But yeah, probably invading Russia

was a bad idea.

Doing a land war in winter.

You play golf at all?

Yeah.

So, you know how sometimes you're in the woods and you're like, like you hit the woods, you're like, oh, I see an opening straight towards the green.

It's not very big, but I can make it.

And you're like, just punch out.

Yes.

Just punch out.

And when you do make it one out of every seven rounds, you get a shot like that and you do it.

You're like, that'll keep me losing five strokes around.

100%.

Every time you hit one.

Also,

off a pine cone like dude this isn't just punch out you lost the stroke yeah just

and also

you know

don't don't listen to your friends who are like you could just go for it yeah you know what I mean

if your friend

if your friend is the head of the the Luftwaffe and says let me finish off England

don't listen to him don't listen to him he had a tiny window to get rushed like if we get it though we'll be done with it early I'm like well let's just wait till spring yeah but anyway I'm glad I'm glad

I'm glad he was a narcissist.

I'm glad he thought he was God because then he made mistakes and now the world's better.

But anyway.

Hey, guys.

Today's episode of UB Tripping is brought to you by ExpressVPN.

Guys, you wouldn't fuck somebody random that you just met without a condom, would you?

Well, I know I have, and I know a lot of you have, too.

Even troubling people.

I mean, multiple times I fucked chicks with herpes who said they had herpes, and then they just said they hadn't had an outbreak in a while.

And I'm like, God damn it.

And I still took a chance, and I got away with it.

One time in

one time in Nashville, some chick, I had, listen, I'm pretty responsible.

I like to have the STD talk, I like to have the pregnancy talk.

I go,

hey, have you had anything?

And then I lead with what I've had.

That's the good way to do it because then it opens up the door.

So I say, talk about chlamydia, which is curable, went away.

Talk about genital warts.

I've had genital warts.

I've had chlamydia multiple times, chlamydia.

Anyone under a certain age has been

vaccinated for

HPV, so genital warts are not really a problem.

Plus, they've been gone for years and years.

And then the chlamydia comes and goes.

You piss in two directions.

By the way, shout out to you guys.

If you piss in two directions, a little note for you, in the morning, more than one morning in a row, you got chlamydia.

Stop fucking.

But anyway, this chick goes,

okay.

No, I haven't had anything.

I was like, okay, great.

Um one time I did say that S C D goes, great, I'm glad you said that.

I do have herpes.

I was like, oh, and right then I got a phone call, a text from another chick who wanted to come over.

And I said, actually, I need time to think about this herpes thing.

Let me think about it.

Text the other chick came over.

Herpes free.

But I have fucked chicks with herpes without condoms in the past.

Anyway, this chick goes, no, I would definitely not have an abortion.

And I go, oh,

well, we should use a condom.

She goes, yeah, because I'm definitely not getting an abortion.

If I go, I mean, don't knock me up, but if I do, I'm definitely keeping it.

And I was like, okay, still fucked without a condom.

Crazy.

It's crazy.

It's like, legitimately.

It's like, what are you doing?

And that, my friends, is what using your fucking computer at the airport's like.

Yeah, sure, you got away with it.

There's hackers everywhere.

You're on an unsecure network.

That's where ExpressVPM comes in.

Who else does these roundabout ways of doing that?

Yeah, that's right, guys.

Using your computer on the Wi-Fi at the airport or in a library.

None of my fucking fans go to libraries.

The airport, bus stations.

It's totally unsecure.

Insecure.

No, insecure is what I am at parties.

Unsecure.

It's like fucking a chick who will not have an abortion without a condom.

That,

oh, I'll just go slow.

I'll fuck a chick with herpes just slowly.

It's so dumb.

Yes, I got away with it.

Yes, you've gotten away with using a fucking.

your data hasn't been fucking robbed.

Your data will get robbed, guys.

It's so easy.

You got to use a VPN.

You got to.

Every time you connect to an unencrypted network, cafes, hotels, airports, your online data is not secure.

Just so you know, any hacker on the same network can gain access and steal your personal data, passwords, bank logins, credit card details.

Yeah, they're going to find out how much you spent on hookers on credit cards and then share that with your wife.

Now you're fucked.

Now you're fucking randoms with herpes, without a commons.

Now you got herpes.

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I've used it, ExpressVPN, in other countries in China to get around, just not even for security, but to get around their stuff.

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It was not available in China.

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That's it.

We got away with it, you guys.

We've all gotten away with it in the past.

Stop taking these chances.

Do you know how troubling it is after you do a bad fuck?

After you did something you shouldn't do.

And then the next month.

I mean, to have to check in with a woman for another full month, like, how you doing?

How you doing?

How you doing?

Hoping she eventually tells you about the period she got, so you can be like, Well, I'm off the hook on that one.

What are you gonna call the hackers every day?

Oh, have you stolen my fucking bank info yet?

That's even worse.

They can wait a while.

Let you deposit a bunch of money

with the abortion chick.

It's just like, oh, have a period, and I'm off the hook.

I mean, I've taken so many chances.

I did get away with it, though.

Focus on the positive.

All right, guys, let's get back to the episode.

Sorry.

That was long, but I got into it.

I did enjoy it.

All right, that's it.

Back to the episode.

Bye.

So

I went to Munich.

Yeah.

Three-day weekend.

And

I sign up for a World War II bike tour.

And the night I get there, I go to a punk rock show.

I haven't got, by the way, I've been in Budapest for like four or five months.

Haven't got laid.

Yeah, I was going to ask, like, how are the chicks there?

How are you going to be able to do it?

They're beautiful.

Could not crack it.

You couldn't even make time with them?

Figure it out.

And I was just so frustrated.

I was like, Munich.

Munich.

Berlin, though.

Yeah, well.

I wish I had gone.

But Munich is way closer to Budapest.

I could go on the night train.

Gypsies tried to to rob me, but my feet were big.

Munich.

Oh, I see.

So my toes, when they opened the door at night time, they brushed my toes because I'm tall because I was lying down on the seat.

Oh, no.

And

if I didn't, the gypsies would have robbed me on the night train.

Those gypsies.

Those gypsies.

And then anyway, so I go to a punk show that night, meet a beautiful girl.

It doesn't work out fine.

But I'm up to like five in the morning chasing this girl.

Yeah.

And I have to wake up for the World War II

tour.

It's like a 10 a.m.

or something.

So 10 a.m., we go on this big, long tour.

I meet an American girl on the tour.

It ends at

the Hofbra House beer hall.

You meet a second girl?

Meet a second girl.

Okay.

And we're getting along.

It took you to the Hoffbra House?

Yeah.

That's cool.

Yeah.

No,

the tour ended there.

We started drinking and

I'm making headway.

She's like, look,

we can't hook up now.

Why?

Because I have to go on a train in three hours, but I'm going to be going to the next one.

She's only six minutes.

You're talking about that.

We'll have three minutes left over for me to clean up.

But

for me to finish crying.

153 extra minutes you have.

And then, so she goes,

and I'm the one who's crying in that joke, by the way.

So anyway,

she goes, I got to catch a train, but I'm going through Budapest with my friends in a couple days.

I'll hit you up.

Oh.

Here, let's exchange numbers.

We exchange numbers.

I'm like, great.

And then I'm like, kind of drunk.

And then I go, they leave.

I'm alone.

And I see these two beautiful blonde, like German girls.

And I go, I just sit beside them, start talking.

I make friends with them.

They're like, hey, do you want to come to like a real German club?

Like, not in this touristy area?

I go, yep.

In Budapest.

This is in Munich still.

This is a three-day weekend.

Okay.

And I'm at the Opera House.

And then we.

Whoa, that's cool.

And the thing about the Hoppera House, they give you a big beer stein.

You try and steal it, right?

So I steal it.

You got it.

I stole it and I got this thing.

I'm like, and then they take me to this club and they won't let me in with the beer stein.

So I hide it behind a bush.

I go in the club.

We get drunk.

I haven't slept.

I've slept like three hours.

Hide it behind a bush.

One of them's gone.

We sit in a booth.

I'm like, I kind of stolen beer stein into our beer establishment,

I'm blacking out in this booth.

There's two women on either side.

I kind of like come to one of them's gone.

One of them is leaning in to me for a kiss.

I close my eyes to kiss her.

I pass out.

Oh, I spill my beer on her crotch.

She goes, mine pants.

What are you doing, my pants?

And then

she leaves to get in a to get in a cab.

I like run after her and I go, come on, I'll come home with you.

Come on, let me come home with you.

Come on, come on, come on.

Let me in the cab.

Let me in the cab.

She goes, begging is always a very sexual movement.

So turned off.

And I couldn't figure out why couldn't I get late in Budapest with these moves?

And then

she goes, fine.

And I get in the cab.

I immediately pass out.

I wake up.

I'm in the suburbs.

There's no cars.

There's no stop sign.

I'm in the back of a cab.

The cab driver goes,

he's going pay 50 euro.

I give him my last 50 euro.

Oh, no.

I get out of the cab.

She's gone.

And I'm like, hey.

Hey, Marguerite, or whatever her name was.

Marguerite.

And I'm like, fuck you.

Fuck you.

It's like crazy.

But, you know, clearly he, this guy did her a favor and was like, look, I'll just drive around the corner and I'll let him out.

I'll let him out.

Yeah.

And she was like, thank you.

And

hey, this fucking asshole talked his way in here.

I don't want to, can you just move him a little out of here?

I'll have no idea.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess.

Yeah, I could do that.

And anyway, so I pay, I pay 50 euro, which, you know, at 24, 23, 24 years old is

it's a billion dollars.

And then I, I'm like, it's it's cold.

It's like winter.

And I'm like, I'm going to freeze to death.

This is before smartphones.

I've got a little brick phone.

I go, oh, there's a phone booth.

So I start sleeping in the phone booth.

I'm shivering.

A cab pulls up.

A bunch of like guys get out.

I run to the cab.

I go, take me to the train station.

He takes me to the train station.

I have no money.

I'm like, okay, I know that my hostel is near the train station.

So they get, but I'm going to run.

Because that, because

it's different.

It's not near my hostel.

So you don't know where I live.

And I go, I have to get home.

There's no Uber.

Uber's not going to exist for another 10 years.

You couldn't wait that long.

I was going to freeze to death.

You couldn't wait 10 years.

No, I would die if I waited.

You would die.

And I would eat food.

And then I would probably meet her on the street in the suburbs and it would be super off.

Sorry about screaming, your neighborhood.

Sorry about screaming.

Yeah, I'm a

bad guy.

But

so we

arrive at the thing,

the train station.

I go, he goes, 50 Euro.

I go, 9 euro.

And then I run out.

He jumps out of his seat.

I'm in the back right.

He jumps out of his seat, does like a Miami Vice slide across the hood,

grabs me.

I swipe him away.

I keep sprinting.

He calls.

He radios all of his other cabby buddies.

Now I'm running through the streets and cabbies are chasing me and radioing each other.

And there's cabs everywhere.

I can hear them, cook, cook, cook, and like, I'll turn a corner, a new cab will start chasing me.

I'll, I'll run around the corner.

I'm sprinting.

There's no cabs down this street.

And I go, I could hear cabs, like cars.

They're all chasing you.

All chasing me.

So I duck down an alleyway, dead end.

I'm like, uh-oh.

And I crouch behind a garbage can, and I'm trying to make myself as small as possible.

And there's an alleyway, and I'm looking down the alleyway.

And I'm like, if they stop, they're going to trap me.

They're going to lock me in this.

And then they're going to beat me up or whatever.

And so

I hear a car coming.

I don't see it because I'm just looking down the opening.

And I hear a car coming.

And I hear the radio.

like,

cab passes the opening.

This is the Warriors, yeah.

And I'm like, I'm like crouched behind, like, please don't see me, please don't see me, please don't see me.

Cab passes.

I go, oh, thank God.

Then I hear, like,

stop.

And I'm like, fuck.

And so I have to sprint towards the opening.

I'm sprinting towards where he is.

Because I have to.

This is the plot of the Warriors.

Is it?

Warriors come out and play.

It's taxi drivers come out and play.

And so I have to, in order to get, it's a dead end, right?

I have to run towards him.

He gets out of the cab, does a sweep kick, and he kicks my shin.

And I, I, and, and, I, and I run through it, and I'm bleeding down my shin.

And now I'm like, that, now it's like seven in the morning, and like the sun's coming up, and I'm running down the street.

And there's cabbies on foot chasing me.

I see people that look like my parents, because they're older and up early, looking at a map, like tourists.

And

I run by them, and people are going, stop, thief, stop, thief, like a movie.

And I was like, I'm so embarrassed.

I'm like, come from like an upper middle class family.

I'm like running past these, people look like my parents.

I'm going, stop, thief.

And I'm like, what have I done?

And I run to- You are, you're a thief.

I run to the main, the main drag, and then

they had called the cops, and the cops come, and they run into me kind of.

They stop, and like, I'm on the hood now.

And I go, help me, help me, help me.

Those cabbies are,

one of them tried to touch my dick.

He tried to touch my dick.

I keep saying that.

You're drunk.

And the guy's like,

the cops aren't buying it, but it's my word against his kind of thing.

And then the cop goes, like,

how much was it?

And the guy goes, 50 Euro.

And he goes, come with me to a bank machine.

And he makes me take up 50 Euro, makes me give him 50 Euro.

The cop gives me a receipt because it's Germany.

And he goes, never come come back to Germany again.

You must never come back to Germany.

He did not have the authority to enforce that, but it's, I'm sure to a 24-year-old, fuck, I think banned from.

And then I, then I go, okay.

This is the worst thing that's ever happened in Germany.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then I go, okay, well,

fuck it.

So I go back to my youth hostel.

I, uh, I have, they're kicking me out now like three hours.

So I have two hours sleep.

Now I've slept like four hours and two nights.

Oh my God.

And I and I I get out and I have to catch a train, but I have like three hours and I'm like, I want that Stein because I forgot the Stein.

So I go back to the Hopper house.

I pay for the Stein this time.

It's like 20 Euro.

I go, but it made me late for my train.

So I missed the train.

So now I have to go through

I have to go through Austria and now I'm going to I'm still kidding.

You make no directs?

No, and I have to sleep in the train station that night in Vienna.

But I can still make work the next morning, but I'll only have like a half-hour turnaround at my house.

But I'll get in at like 7:30 in the morning or something.

And so, but I'm like, I'll be fine.

I'll just sleep three hours in the train station.

I go to the Vienna train station.

It's like nighttime, and they kick me out.

I didn't realize they kicked you out of the train station.

So now I have a brick phone.

This is no smartphone.

I'm wandering around.

I'm like, I got to find a youth hostel to sleep.

I'm dying.

I've slept four hours in two days.

I flag down a cab.

I go, take me to a hotel.

He goes, I don't know.

I go, take me to a youth hostel.

Takes me to a youth hostel.

He goes,

he goes, 45 euro.

I don't have 45 euro.

I go, ugh.

I go.

I'm going to go

and stuff.

I go, will you, do you want this beer stein?

He goes, yeah.

So I give him the beer stein.

The whole reason why I'm late is the beer stein.

I have to give it to him, so he'll leave me alone.

I'm not going to run again.

I go into the youth hostel.

I go, give me a wake-up call for 7 a.m.

They go, we don't do wake-up calls.

And I have a phone without a

brick?

No, on the brick.

So I have to start wandering the streets and i'm i have to i'm like i have to wander the streets for four hours i find a cafe i fall asleep they kick me so you can sleep till seven yeah they kick me out of the cafe i get on the train i uh oh i make it to budapest i go to work i come i i start convulsing and throwing up because i'm exhausted i have to go home because i'm sick and then i get a call from that american girl from the hopper house saying let's party tonight oh she was an american i want to hang out with you and i go i can't i'm sick No.

Why?

Graham, why?

I was sick.

I was throwing up at work because I was exhausted.

I had slept two hours in three days.

Okay.

Do you know what cures that sickness?

Why?

I didn't have the access to those things.

Pussy juice.

Oh, yeah.

Eat some pussy juice.

And you'll be better.

I'm not.

I was like going delirious.

I had no more.

I was sick.

So you said I can't do it.

I'm sick.

I was sick.

what a well i can't say it but

you're such a dork you just said pussy oh yeah dork i was out i mean

look i'm not cool no no also it makes me kind of angry you you spent all this time not getting laid you wanted to then you had a chance yeah in the country oh anyway yeah

She came through, too.

She came through.

That never happens.

And it was right then.

I was, I was, yeah, I know.

And I thought.

Why couldn't she do it then?

She had to leave on a train to leave on the train She's being responsible.

She goes I will fuck you.

I'll be in your puzzle so I had no I had no pussy.

I had no

Bierstein you got a full I was sick from work.

I was people were angry at me

But then I met a stewardess and who worked in in a for like

some like Europa Europa air.

Yeah.

And then we we dated for a while and then fully dated.

We fully dated.

Bulgaria?

Yeah.

Yeah.

She was great.

She used to date a gangster before me.

Oh.

And she

was the safe other way.

You were 100%.

You were the Aiden after she did that.

Every time she showed up,

I'd invite her to work to hang out.

I would wear a suit.

And it was ridiculous for me to wear a suit.

You're like, why are you wearing a suit?

Because I sold this lady, I don't know how to do it.

The job I got fired from previous to that, I was selling Hugo Boss suits.

But I kept getting everyone's measurements wrong, so they fired me.

But I had a suit.

I had like a couple nice suits.

So she would show up.

Measurements wrong.

People people like

the legs were always like one was shorter than the other.

Like, I just kind of like eyeballed it.

Like, no, you can't eyeball tailor.

I can eyeball it, yeah.

And, um, you're like an L or an XL.

Like, that's not how suits come in all sizes, they come in specific numbers.

Well, you got a, you got a, you got a L leg and a 16-waist leg.

What?

Yeah.

Uh,

but then, uh,

but then, so

I then started, she was like,

I can fly us to Spain for free.

Let's go on vacation.

I'd never been to Spain.

I was like, it's great.

And then we go to Mallorca, Spain.

Oh, I heard Mallorca is the.

Yeah.

Because Menorca is the one people know.

Yeah.

And

you went there?

But in that interim, our relationship started to sputter out.

Damn it.

And then

I went to see a music festival in Serbia in a castle.

I saw the white stripes play in a castle in Serbia overlooking the Danube.

It's called Exit Festival.

And I saw a bunch of like DJs in a moat.

And my girlfriend from college was traveling and I met her there.

And she goes, you know, like these music festivals where it's just like a bunch of tents?

Yeah.

It's like a tent city, a thousand tents.

I get off the train.

This is before smartphones.

I go,

she goes, I get off at like seven in the morning.

She's like partying all night.

She goes, I'm in the blue tent.

I go, okay.

I get there.

There's 1,000 tents.

I pick one out of 500 blue tents.

I go, hey, I'm so tired.

I've been on a train all night.

There's a girl in there.

I don't know.

I go, can I just sleep here?

She goes, okay, but don't fucking touch me.

I go, yeah.

No.

Yeah.

This lady?

Some stranger.

Oh, oh, oh.

And then I lie down.

Oh, my God.

I lie down beside her.

She

let you?

I don't, dude.

And then don't touch me.

What a fucking hippie.

I just told her the truth.

I was like, I'm supposed to be my girlfriend or my ex-girlfriend, my old friend.

Can I just sleep in this?

I mean, it'd be like, if, if, even if a woman asked to sleep in my tent, unless she was a fucking knockout, yeah,

no, it's crazy.

And it's like, no, I'm so tired.

I'm like, I get it.

I've been there.

I would sleep in the dirt.

I totally can sleep out back.

I don't know why.

I just, I don't know why I asked.

I did.

And then she said, yes, I fell asleep.

And then it unzips a couple hours later, like the tent.

Yeah.

And Jenna was there.

She was like, you found the blue tent.

Wait, what do you mean she was there?

She was in.

So my ex-girlfriend goes, I'm in the blue tent.

Wait, but that's not the one you were sleeping in.

How big are these tents?

So picture a city of tents.

Yeah, like red ones, blue ones, green ones.

Or just like personal tents.

Yes.

And there is probably

300 blue tents.

I had a 1 out of 300 chance of picking the right one, and I did.

But who was this other chick you slept in?

I don't know what, a friend she met or something.

And so then Jenna came home, just was like to her tent, she's like, let me sleep.

Oh, I guess Sarah hooked up.

She's like, and it's like, oh.

She's like, Graham found the blue tent.

I was like, whoa.

That has to rejuvenate the relationship.

Because we weren't trying to make out,

it became very intense.

We did make out, but that's it.

And then

I still had this girlfriend.

And the very next day, I was supposed to go to Mallorca with my girlfriend.

Yeah.

My Hungarian girlfriend.

I take the train back to Hungary.

We fly to Spain.

And then she's mean to me the whole time.

We're not talking.

We have some sangria.

We're supposed to be there five days.

Five days.

First day, she goes, I go, what's the problem?

She goes, I know you've been cheating on me.

I go, I

admittedly made out with my ex-girlfriend the day before or two days before.

And I go, what?

But she doesn't know that.

She thinks I've been cheating on a random.

And also, that's just like a makeout.

It's not cheating.

Yeah.

I go, I go, especially when you're 23.

And an ex comes on.

That's me not cheating on you.

I go, she goes, I've been cheating on you because I know you've been cheating on me.

What?

I go, what?

She goes, yeah, my ex-boyfriend, the gangster, used to make her carry a pistol.

And I go, what?

She goes, yeah.

Because I know that you've been cheating on me.

I go, what do you mean?

How do you know I've been cheating on you?

She goes,

I went over to your house.

Last time we had sex, I went over to your apartment.

There was crumpled crumpled up Kleenex all around the bed, and that only ever happens after we have sex.

And that was already there.

And I was so angry, and I wanted to get her back.

So I went on, I told her I did cheat on her because I was angry.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that the reason why there was crumpled up Kleenex was because I was jerking off.

That only happens after we have sex.

How self-centered you have to be.

Like, this experience I had, it's the only time that's ever happened.

Yeah, I wipe up cum

with the tissues.

With the tissues.

What other situation could I not be cheating where I also have to wipe up cum?

Either I have discharge randomly that I'm can't control or every night of my life.

Every night and sometimes lunch.

And then we had five more nights, five more days and nights on vacation.

We broke up the first night and we were just driving around not talking.

You should just be like, I'll see you in four days for the flight home.

Yeah, I should have.

I didn't have the money, Luke.

We both didn't have the money.

We both had to stay there.

This reminds me of season three, episode maybe six of Sex in the City, where

the angry lesbian, the redhead, Carrie.

Uh-huh.

Carrie?

No, RFK.

Not Carrie.

Not Carrie.

What's RFK?

RFK's wife.

No,

she's in Curb Enthusiasm.

Oh, you're right.

Yeah.

Miranda.

Miranda.

Miranda's married to a politician.

Miranda was helping run SAG.

Maybe that's what you mean.

But maybe.

Oh, I could be.

Okay, I'm probably wrong.

But

in the city,

married to in real life.

Let's see.

Activate Christopher Marinoni.

Oh, an activist.

No, but she, but then when she was dating that guy, Steve, the fucking dork, the

softboy.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wait, what were we talking about?

I wasn't Steve.

Yeah, in this situation you were.

No.

Or maybe you were Miranda.

I'm a baby.

What were we just talking about?

The calm.

She was like,

the Kleenex.

They broke up.

And the problem with breaking up in New York is you also have lost your roommate and you can't just find another place.

That's right.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're on vacation with this girl.

It's like, oh, I'm broke.

Well, we're stuck on vacation.

We rented, we got around by a smart car, a convertible smart car.

It's just this little clown car.

We're just not talking.

Angry on vacation is such a great thing.

I want to do a

like one of the old blogs and it was oh happy dads.com and it was just like fathers like in a terrible mood in like luxurious places.

You know, like in Hawaii.

Yeah, fucking come on.

Just like screaming in tropics.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That was my dad.

We

when we were kids, my, we had a timeshare in Quebec City.

My parents traded it for a canal boat in the English canal system.

And my dad was the pilot, and it rained the whole time, and he had to steer from outside.

We bought him like a, we bought him a pilot hat, a sailor cap.

So it was me, my,

I was like 18, my middle-aged parents, and my one severely autistic brother stuck on like a tiny houseboat for a week.

It was the worst.

It was just

a bad thing.

My mom would be like, check up on your father.

We'd open up the hatch.

He'd just be like,

just

cold rain in his face because of the vacation.

It's not even his normal work.

No.

I'm enjoying it.

Ah, Christ.

And they didn't teach us how to do the locks or teach us how to drive it properly.

So we'd always get stuck and then people would yell at us because we'd cause traffic.

My dad would be like,

Jesus Christ.

My brother would be sitting on the bow, just like freaking out.

What did did you do while you were in Hungary?

Like, what did you get into?

I would just, I would drink a lot.

How were the bars?

Bars are really cool.

There's some really cool bars.

I finally figured out

like the cool

zones.

There was a couple guys, a couple people I worked with that were kind of cool.

It took me a while to get to know them, and they were kind of my age.

Yeah, if you're staying in town, imagine staying in New York and you're staying in Times Square, which a lot of people do or Midtown.

And you're like, okay, cool.

Where's to go out?

And you're like, oh, you got to leave this whole neighborhood.

Yeah.

This is not where anybody cool hangs out.

Yeah.

And

it took me a while to figure it out.

But then

there was some really cool stuff.

Like, kind of like, you know, like,

I would imagine 90s Berlin.

Yeah, it was like 1000s Berlin.

Kind of like just grimy underground.

I remember there was a barge that was a dance club, a barge on the Danube that was like a cool multi-level dance club, and the barge was like rotting.

Oh.

It was so cool.

Wow.

Yeah.

Was it

so?

Like in Berlin, you really see the shadow of the Iron Curtain.

Yeah, there you definitely do.

There's bullets everywhere from the 1956 revolution because they tried to kick out the communists in 56.

Yeah.

So after World War II, after the Nazis got kicked out, so the Nazis forcibly invaded

and they kicked out the Russians.

And then the Russians

came back after World War II, so 1945.

And then 1956, there was an, you know, it's right by Austria.

It's like very close to democracy.

It's like if Philly was democratic and

New York wasn't, you know, so it's like they,

there was enough,

they tried to like push them out and there was like bullets everywhere, bullet holes everywhere, like in my neighborhood from that revolution and World War II.

Like there was, yeah, there was like

relics everywhere.

What survived that when you were seeing that stuff?

Was it cool or you're just like, meh, whatever?

Well, I love history.

I have a degree.

I have basically a university degree in World War II.

So that's like, I love that.

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, that's history speaking on the streets there.

Yeah, man.

It was super cool.

And also, Budapest is like one of the most beautiful cities in the world.

Is it really?

Yeah, look at the, just Google Budapest.

Just do images.

You're probably going to see the parliament on the Danube.

Which is this one?

Those are the baths.

Those are Roman baths.

They have a bunch of...

What this big thing?

That's the parliament on the Danube.

But on the left is Roman baths.

They have hot springs.

What?

Natural hot springs?

Yes.

Wow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're all outdoors.

That's as you can.

Is there a big bath culture there?

Throw all bath?

There is.

There's a big bath culture there.

Look how communal that is.

Yeah, too.

Got old dudes playing chess in water.

No way.

It's so cool, dude.

It's like way, way cooler than Prague and cheaper.

It's cheaper than Prague.

Dude, yeah.

Prague is

not cheap in the tourist area.

You have to go like 10 blocks away and it's cheap.

And also, nobody from the Czech Republic visits and uses all the tourist stuff.

In Budapest,

you walk around all the touristy stuff and you hear Hungarians.

Their locals doing it.

It's like a park to them.

They start in Sterling, where like Tokyo is, sure, it's stuff for tourists, but it's not made for tourists.

Like, you can join us Tokyo people, but we're not going to come to you.

That's what I love about New York.

Same, New York's go to the subway and try and figure it out.

There's no instructions.

The map is like a bunch of spaghetti on a map.

Or you're like, I heard McSorley's is like the oldest bar.

You're like, sure, but it's mostly New Yorkers in there.

It's not like, you know, a lot of places you go and it's like, there's nothing but tourists here.

Yep.

What's in this?

What's in the house there?

I think they got...

They got changing areas?

They got changing areas and they got like cold baths and steam baths or probably like asanas and stuff like that.

And massage tables, a lot of massaging going on there.

i i think it gets pretty gay on sundays i remember it was pretty

the hot bath i go to they have like male only days yeah for the Hasidic Jews to not have to see topless women yes but and then when you go it's like oh he's just gay Hasidic Jews yeah yeah and other gays yeah I like this guy in this box because he's like he's working right but he's gonna be cold

so they put him in a fucking box I guess it might be winter yeah might be winter they have the winter is I would say the climate is very similar to New York they have a long hot summer and then it's like really cool it's cold in in the winter.

Damn, interesting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What else was there to do there?

Was this chick there?

Yeah.

Francine?

Yeah.

Yeah, like what's kind of...

What did you get into?

Besides the work stuff?

I saw concerts.

I worked a lot.

I worked a lot.

I just basically worked for the weekend.

After work day, I was exhausted.

And then on the weekend, I would like

I would drink very hard with my friends.

But that's cool.

That's like, so when I say to do, people take it so it's like, well, you're supposed to see these sights.

But I'm like, no, no, like if you're visiting New York, it's like, yeah, I tried to live.

I drank upstairs in the cellar for an hour and a half.

I really enjoyed

taking the streetcar,

seeing my girlfriend at the time.

I really enjoyed like

they have these little

hole, like literally like a hole in the wall, like counter where

like in Paris, you just lean against a counter and you drink an espresso.

Yeah, and in Hungary, it's a sausage with mustard.

It's just a bunch of men lined up eating sausage with mustard with like a piece of bread.

It was awesome.

They had just had it, they had a bunch of music festivals, like good music festivals.

The food was really good.

Music festival, summertime stuff?

Yeah, they had one called the island, I think it's called Siget Festival.

It means island.

And

it's like their central park is an island in the middle of the Danube.

How do you spell Sigat?

S-Z-I-G-E-T.

See Gat Festival, wow.

And I saw somebody big.

Oh, I saw corn there.

No.

Yeah, I got swept away.

I was like, let me see this corn.

Yeah, it's a big fucking, it's a big crowd.

And then

the guy spread, like, the, the, the, they take off the cloak from the mic with the ghoul on it.

And everyone's just standing still.

And then I, I'd never seen corn.

I saw him.

And then the guy goes, takes his pick out and goes first strum he goes and then i just got swept in a mosh pit and i couldn't get it i was like ah like

yeah dude i was uh i went to see weezer yesterday yo weezer did the blue album and um oh they did just the blue album no so so so you like music if you go to this shit yeah so i don't know have you ever seen somebody do their seminal album okay so i saw cure at i haven't but i just said yes okay but i understand what you mean at glastonbury did it um beach boys in iceland uh did

Pet Sounds you saw those

okay yeah I saw both those

they have other ones yeah my promoter was the Beach Boys promoter and and

Bieber's promoter

he was making far less money off me but they're like if you want to go to these shows yeah we can just go yeah so I went with Ariel Jarn to both of them yeah and is this outback

Some European thing okay I think it's like different whatever yeah they did the whole pet sounds and then they just did the hits like you know like surf in USA and shit like that was great cry a bunch But they both did the same way where they play the whole album the cure at Glastonbury finish disintegration That's an hour they have an hour and a half set they go the next half hour will be pure Glastonbury and then it's like boys don't cry and all dance hits and stuff, but

That's the thing they open with the album, but then Weezer did it different.

I loved it.

They did a bunch of they had some some theme stuff but like dork stuff but like they started with all their hits from over the years had a little sketch for each one.

Yeah.

it's like um i have to go to a tailor in pinkerton to get this my sweater and then they played a couple songs off pinkerton the hash pipe they pretty much told you hey you might have forgotten how big we are let me remind you

and now we're gonna play blue yeah i love i i've been to a couple concerts yeah in like festivals where you're like ah let me check out this big one i want to hear i want i'm i'm here to see this other band this like cool band but let me check out this famous and then they just play like 30 hits and you're like oh yeah oh right Oh, right.

Man, they are a part of my childhood.

Yeah, you forget if they just play the hits.

Don't try to play them.

You're winning people over here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But when they got to, when they finally got to My Name is Jonas, it was already an hour in or 45 minutes in.

Wow.

And then it was like, it's so strong.

It's like, my name is Jonah.

And it was like,

they forgot.

Yeah, and it was like, yeah, it's like, okay, different song.

The visuals were great.

And man, it was so fucking good.

But that was the right way to do it.

And then they finished with the last song in Jonas in a blue album.

And it was like, and I, and man, what a show.

Great.

That's showmanship.

That's what a show.

Showmanship.

I saw the Rolling Stones a couple months ago at SoFi in L.A.

Yeah.

And I had held off not seeing them because I don't want to see their...

I was like, I don't want to see it.

That's not the Rolling Stones.

Right.

But I got to.

But it's not like you're not seeing the full band.

That's as good as it's going to be.

They're 70% of what they were in 1969, I swear.

They're still good.

I like crossing bands off a list now where it's like, I've never seen them.

They're going to stop touring soon.

Yeah.

I may as well just say, say, I know it's not as good as seeing, you know, the white stripes in 2002.

Yeah.

But still.

I saw them in 2005

in Serbia at this music festival.

Wow.

In a castle.

Were they big then or just getting started?

They were huge.

Okay.

I mean, enough for a boy from Ottawa to be like, holy crow, I'm going to see the white stripes.

Me and Bobby Lee were going to go see them.

Think of it like...

Cat Club or Whiskey Agogo or something.

They were just, but then like the blog, it wasn't as bad as now, but the blog world had heard of them.

Yeah, yeah.

They're like, oh, cool.

This is a cool hip new band we should see.

Yeah.

And it's like, words out, dude.

It's all that.

Yeah.

Has Bobby Lee ever seen the Bobby Lee's?

What?

You've never heard of this band, The Bobby Lee's?

No.

Yeah, they're kind of getting big in

the Garage Rock scene.

What?

Yeah, they're good.

They're good.

At Spurry Park, New Jersey.

Friday, November 17th.

They're coming up.

Yeah.

They are good.

Are they named after Bobby Lee?

They must be.

They have to be.

Yeah.

Let Let me text Bobby.

They're good.

Yeah.

I have a couple of their songs saved on my Spotify.

Really?

Yeah.

He must have heard of them.

I could see him not, though.

It's like another good band, Cherry Glazer.

You know them?

Yeah, I've heard of them.

They're named after the NPR host, Cherry Glazer.

Really?

Yeah.

It's like, I think these LA bands, they just.

interesting.

I mean, it is a cool hip band.

Shows.

No shows?

What kind of website is this?

What kind of website is this?

That's just a terrible website.

It looks like my website.

Merch.

Okay, they got some merch.

No shows coming up, huh?

You just looked them up and you said they're coming to Asbury Park.

I know, so why don't they have it on their fucking

Bellevue Vinyl?

Oh, that's Bobby Lee in it right there with the lead singer.

I didn't have my glasses on.

I was like, I guess he dyed his hair.

It says Aspiri Park, New Jersey, but then you click on it and it's nowhere.

I don't know.

Yeah, I know you don't know.

You're of no help.

Here he goes.

I've talked to them.

The band name has nothing to do with me.

What?

What?

That's crazy.

What?

Okay,

that's crazy.

Bobby Lee,

very nice guy.

I met him in Toronto when I was exiled up there after I got deported from America.

And I was living in Toronto.

And

we were hanging out.

And

there are certain moments in my life, touch points in my life, where I'm like, I think I might have high-functioning autism.

Yeah, I think you do.

Thank you.

Because he was like, look at my girlfriend.

Did Bobby said that?

Yeah, he was like, look how hot she is.

And I like,

she's very hot.

She's still hot, but she's not his girlfriend.

Yeah.

Yeah, I know.

And I go,

it's like one of these times in your life.

You're like, why the hell would I ever say this?

And I go,

because he's like, famous.

And I go, do you ever worry

that people

are with you just because you're famous?

Hold on, hold on.

Let me think of how Bobby Lee could have reacted.

I've known him for a long time.

I could see that the options are just being honest and knowing that's just an honest question.

I'm like, yeah, you know, there's some people who are, but, you know, overall, you pick your friends.

I get

no, 80%.

It's, dude, you're way out of line.

How dare you say that?

That isn't what he said, but that was his look and that was his attitude.

And I was about to move to L.A.

and I was like, this will be good.

Bobby will help me.

It was all over.

Yeah, it was all over.

I'm not the best networker.

I'm not a good climber, I'll tell you that.

But Bobby's a nice guy.

Very funny comic.

Bobby Lee's are done.

Bobby Lee's announced on social media they are calling it quits, at least for the time being.

You know, I was a headwind of the digital music industry.

Yes, I remember because it's about like Ticketmaster and Live Nation and all that stuff.

They're taking money from their merch.

And they're like, we can't make any money off our merch anymore.

How are we supposed to, I mean, if you're a comic, it's tough.

And they're like, have to split it four ways now.

So there's like no room for the middle bands anymore that's well that you know, that's why like band shirts are like 50 bucks for a t-shirt 45 bucks for a t-shirt.

They're getting $20 out of that Maybe yeah because the shirt itself costs 10.

Yeah, right, and then you got to give this much to them So they're like with the amount you want and to get a guy there to work it It's like if you sell it for 25 you'll lose five.

Yeah, yeah, yeah

So you just get it off until Bobby Graham says hi see what he says.

Okay.

It was just a random name.

Here's what he said.

It was just a random name they thought of.

It was before I had a name, I guess.

I don't really know.

He had a name.

He's had a name for 20 years.

Yeah, Matt TV.

They're like a five-year-old band.

Okay.

He'll be like,

he'll write back, okay.

Oh, and you know what he did to me once at the store?

What?

He goes,

there's like that young manager that used to hang out there and started to, I forget his name, but he started to do really well and get promoted.

And he really liked,

he really liked

the band Hootie and the Blowfish.

Was it Egot?

No, no, no.

Okay.

This is some manager.

I forget his name.

I probably should know his name.

Nice guy.

Nice guy.

He really liked Hootie for the Blowfish.

And then he goes, Bobby goes,

hey, man.

Hey, Graham.

How's it going?

Hey, what do you think about the band Hootie and the Blowfish?

And I go, they suck.

And he goes, hey, this is John.

He's a manager.

Blah, blah, blah.

He loves Hootie and the Blowfish.

He just went to go see a concert.

It's like, you son of a bitch.

What a setup, too.

In this case, you're like, no, I like them.

They're okay.

For God's sakes, you got a

Spider-Man would not follow.

So they broke up because they can't make any money.

Yeah.

Wow, interesting.

Yeah, well, here's February 2024.

They don't know what to do with them.

I heard comedy clubs are starting to do that.

No, take money off merch.

Like, or starting to jack prices up.

A comedian was telling me last night.

Sounds true so far.

They were like, I'm trying to set my tickets at 35, and now the tickets are 42.

And I go, why?

And they go, well, because they just added a $7 surcharge because they can't.

Surcharge?

And now this new thing is.

It's like a shirt ticketing system.

Facility P, and they own the ticketing system.

So they're not even using the Live Nation thing.

Robin's like, we're using our own.

So here's how it works for everybody at home.

The comic makes either a straight amount early on, $1,500 usually to start a week.

And then at some point, you get a door deal.

You get 40% of the tickets

after the expenses.

So let's say the tickets are 20 bucks.

And let's say you're getting 50%.

So that's $10 in your pocket for every ticket sold.

After expenses, so they have $5,000 expensive, whatever it is, to keep the lights on, to get your flight out there.

Sure, let's call those a wash.

But really, now you're making, instead of a ten bucks tickets since we got to give the first five thousand to them you're making nine a ticket yeah yeah and now um so it's like whatever 45

and now they add a facility fee and a and a whatever fee so the twenty dollar tickets are twenty seven but you make ten after the first five thousand so you're not making fifty percent yeah you're making it like thirty percent and it's like well they it's like they're just oh i hate it so fucking crooked yeah i hate it yeah i mean and you're like at the big venues you understand it like there's nothing you can do Pearl Jam lost, but they're really finagling extra money.

Yeah.

Why can't they afford to keep making music?

Damn.

Yeah.

Anyway, they're good.

They're a good band.

You know, go to their tell me more about Hungary and Budapest.

Well,

what else was the food like?

It was a lot of meat.

Goulash is from there.

Romania, which has got to be right nearby, right?

A lot of paprika, paprikas on everything.

Interesting.

They had a good art scene.

Every Friday, my company would

take us out for free appetizers and drinks because it was small enough at that point.

And then

it was right after I'd kind of figured out, this is like halfway through my contract, towards the end, maybe.

And

I was sitting, I got seated beside my boss, and I was like, this is trouble.

I'm going to get pretty loose with the lips in about three beers.

Sure enough,

after three beers, I'm like, you know,

how do you feel about what we're doing here?

And then he is

like a I'm sure right now he's like super

super far right wing, pro

like

pro Vigor Orban, probably like, you know,

small government, let corporations run everything,

whatever.

Fine.

So he's like, he couldn't wait for this, probably.

This fucking kid straight out of university, you know, this college kid.

And we, but he thinks that I'm just some idiot who doesn't know anything about history.

I, I, I know a lot.

Especially back then.

I, I, I forgotten a lot.

I've forgotten more than I have ever known.

And so he, he, which makes no sense what I just said, but don't think about it too much.

I mean, whatever.

Yeah.

But anyway, so we just start getting into it.

I'm like, I call him a war profiteer.

And, and we, I, I, I.

But by the way, also, so are you.

You're literally making money off this.

100% I am.

100%.

100%.

Yeah.

But

I stopped.

So what I did is

I stopped working hard, you see.

So instead of

putting stuff in the gears here, I'm hurting the cogs.

I'm not hurting them at all.

They just put me on a different desk and gave me some bullshit job after that where I had to fill trucks on the way back.

So we had trucks would, we'd pay these drivers a lot of money to drive from Baghdad International Airport.

Well, they would go from Turkey

into Iraq.

We would go down, we were shipping stuff literally from Germany, and then we'd drive down to Turkey

and then go into

Iraq.

Or we'd fly in from Tashkent in Turkmenistan, or

where's Tashkent?

Like over here somewhere.

And fly into Kuwait and then bust them in.

And then anyway, so we'd have these drivers, and they

would,

my job was to,

on the way back, after they dropped off their load, try and pick up loads on the way back to like Germany.

So, so they would have stuff on the way back, which is like an impossible job, so it was fine.

So, I didn't do anything.

But that was my punishment.

But anyway, we would have these, one fun story is like they had this highway between the green zone in

Baghdad, which was like American run safe.

There's like a KFC in there and stuff like that.

And that's like downtown

Baghdad.

And then everything else is chaos at this point.

And then highway.

What year is this?

2005.

Okay.

So a height of the war.

The war started in 2003.

It's still

George Bush is he sat he stood on the aircraft carrier that said victory at this point, but it's not victory.

It's like crazy still.

And then the other safe place is this walled city inside yeah there in

if you had to stay you'd stay for weeks in one place

and then in order to get back out for R ⁇ R back to Budapest to our company you would have to go on something called the rhino bus the rhinoceros bus and the rhinoceros bus was an armored bus and it would travel With helicopters on either side to protect it because people would come out with bazookas and try and shoot at it and stuff.

Damn.

And the rhino bus would leave at different times so they couldn't time.

The insurgents couldn't time when it was coming.

And so you had to keep a go bag by your door.

And then people would knock on your door at six in the morning.

They'd tell you, we're going to come in sometime in these next three days.

So keep a go bag.

And they'd knock on your door and be like, go bag.

And they'd be like, Rhino bus, rhino bus, rhino bus.

And if you missed it, if you slept in because you're hungover, you gotta wait another two weeks for the rhino bus.

No.

So

you would was just scream, get up, go.

Rhino bus.

And you'd run, get, grab your bag.

Wow.

You'd grab your bag, you'd grab your bag, run on the rhino bus.

You'd be like, oh, be like, hungover, or whatever.

And now

you leave the walls.

And now you have like an hour trip to Baghdad International Airport.

And there's helicopters on either side of the Rhino bus.

And people are, you know, sometimes nobody shoots at you, sometimes they do.

And one guy was like, a helicopter got shot, it went went down, and our rhino bus got disabled.

And we had to run the last like a hundred meters into the walls of the Baghdad International Apartment.

They open up the gates, like, get in here, get in, like a castle, dude.

It's just war zone outside.

Yeah.

And so these bus drivers that we paid were like getting a lot of money because they were like having to drive in there and drop off like

comic books and nails and rebar and stuff.

Their lives were fucking Betty Betty and Veronica's.

Could have given me an Archie.

You gotta give me a side version?

You gotta keep these kids happy.

They're fighting a war.

You have to placate the children.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then they would sleep in these, like, uh, in these shipping containers.

They're really kids.

In Baghdad, they can't even get to a bar in here.

Yeah.

They're two years away from getting into a bar in New York, three.

And then they'd be like,

the dudes that we we would work with would be sleeping in shipping containers at baghdad national international airport and then they'd be like the insurgents would what they do is they would take um mortars and put like uh a just a mortar and fire it randomly over the walls and then run under a tree because there were satellites and if you stayed too long they'd triangulate you and uh uh incinerate you from space they would like they would like from with they would something would would come get you like from they would like shoot at you So, they would, they didn't have time to aim.

So, they would just run out from under a tree and go, funk, and run, run back.

And so, these random bombs are going off

around you, and you're living in a shipping container.

And you'd be like,

and I would be like, how's that?

And they'd be like, well, we know by the sound if it's going to be close or not, of it being in the air, because we're so used to it.

How long do they have to decide if it's going to be close?

I don't know, like fucking, I don't know, like 10 seconds?

Yeah, that's not enough time to really do anything.

It's not like you've got a week to prepare.

Yeah, I don't know.

Oh, that's going to be close.

Oh, it's here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I mean, it's crazy.

We paid them a lot.

They tried to get me to go to Kuwait.

My roommate went to Kuwait.

He took it.

He got extra money.

And it was great.

I had the whole apartment to myself.

Kuwaiti food is some.

Do you know what it's like?

No.

No one does.

I don't know anything about it.

Do you like it?

I don't know anything about it.

No.

I did go to a Palestinian restaurant.

A lot of Israeli food.

They got the Israeli falafel there.

They do.

Huh.

And Chummas.

Oh, interesting.

Yeah, they have the H and Florida.

Interesting.

Yeah, go the food.

Budapest is good.

Did you go anywhere else in Hungary?

Do you go around?

Yeah, I went to they have this big lake.

This big, it's like they're like Hamptons.

Vesta, this one?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's like, it's really, really beautiful.

It's like their lake como kind of thing.

And it, um,

yeah.

What is it?

Just like a resortie kind of thing?

Yeah, it's like baloton.

You're like balaton, yeah, yeah, that's what it was called.

Damn.

It's like all wine stuff.

This reminds me of Atzetvan.

And then I took a, I took a.

Wow, it's gorgeous.

It's really gorgeous.

It's really gorgeous.

Yeah.

It's like some crazy.

They got crazy fish there because it's very deep or something.

Hungarians are very interesting because

they used to be their parliament is huge because it used to be the head of the Austro-Hungarian Empire.

Oh.

And

which I think also used to be the head of the Holy Roman Empire, I think.

Anyway, but

they have this

complex.

Every time you go to a Hungarian's house, they had a map of what the empire used to be.

And they go, look what we used to be.

Look what they took from us.

It's the first thing they'll say.

Look what they took from us.

And there used to be this big empire.

Now there's this little tiny country.

And you're Austro-Hungary.

So it was like all that.

And probably all the way down here.

All the way down to Romania, all parts of Turkey, parts of

yours.

And then they took, I don't know who, you know, they.

And then, so they're very pessimistic.

It is, this is, this is, this is Hungarians to a T.

When you go to their subway, when you go down, there was a clock telling you not when the next train was coming.

It was telling you when the last train left.

So you could, she's like, oh, I missed it.

Oh, I just missed it.

Wow.

You're like, oh, all right.

That's crazy.

That's so disappointing.

If you get down to the subway, New York subway, and you're like, no train, you're like, oh, last one left a minute ago.

Like, yeah, if you see it go out, you're like, you know, you just missed it.

But I mean, you're hoping for, like, all right, it's been 15 minutes.

The next one should be here soon.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, wild.

And you never just start getting late at all before you left.

Oh, I had that

one.

That stewardess, yeah.

And nobody else.

I had, I, I, I was strapping young Canadian.

I, You know, I

took me a while.

It took me a couple years.

Took me till my mid-20s till I really sort of

could figure out to get out of my own way.

Yeah, yes.

I got sent to boot camp in Saskatchewan, an all-boys boot camp in high school.

And I think it kind of like delayed me a couple years.

Interesting.

I wasn't around a lot of women.

It was a lot of just like

fighting and farts.

So I was with religion.

Then Then when you get out, you're like, it's almost like your friends who know how to get laid, like, dude, you're there.

Just go home with her.

And you're like, no, no, I don't know.

It's like, oh, you pitched seven strong games and you don't know how to just close this out.

Same.

Yes, exactly.

That's an easy close.

You're up five runs.

Yes.

You just can't get out of your own way.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think also, like, I was, I was like

pretty good looking when I was 24.

Yeah, you're pretty good looking.

And I think that also, I was like, why aren't they just sleeping with me?

Because everyone's like, you're so good looking.

I was like, all right, suck my dick.

All right.

Suck it.

You have to talk to people.

So when did you leave?

When did you decide to leave?

And how did you get out?

How was the process of leaving?

How long were you there for total?

I was there,

I was there for a year.

Bunaño.

And then I took the Orient Express and went down to Turkey.

And

I stopped in Sarajevo where they had the war.

And

they had the

informer Yugoslavia.

It goes to the the Orient?

Is that why they call it the Orient first?

Yeah, it goes to Turkey.

So Turkey is the first,

it's the first country in Asia.

So when you cross the Bosphorus Canal, you go from

Turkey touches Europe and is also in Asia.

So when you cross the canal there, you go into Istanbul.

The canal's on Istanbul?

Yeah, Istanbul.

And they have a bridge going over it where

the card game bridge was invented.

and then

that's right and then and then they you know so I went I wanted to go to Turkey and but I went to Sarajevo and they had it's the only place in the world because they had the civil war there and they also had the Olympics there so you see all the Olympic rings with bullet holes in it and stuff they had the 84 winter Olympics bullet holes everywhere because this is the war came afterwards war came war came in like 92 or something and and then again in 2000 they had a lot of ethnic cleansing and stuff but it's the only place in the world where they do not like canadians because the canadians were the head of the the United Nations and wouldn't let them defend themselves.

And the

Serbians just bombed them from the hills and they had to smuggle in guns.

And then I took a I hired a guy at the train station to take me on a tour.

And

he took me to the

general's backyard and I met the general, the guy who's in charge of defending Sarajevo.

And he hated me because I was Canadian and he wouldn't let me have a peach from his peach garden.

And then he goes, bro, you're not getting back a cat.

He goes up for this.

Why did I help?

Why do I hate you?

And I was like, well, I told him why, because I knew the history or what we did wrong as Canadians and stuff.

And he was like, you can have a peach.

Because you're willing to admit it.

Yeah.

All you want is some recognition.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I had, remember what TSA would sometimes just be wildly changing their rules all the time.

Yeah.

And one time the guy was like, they were just like, they start like in a few airports, they were like, they take your ID, like, state your name.

Like, what do you mean, state my name?

Why is that a good thing?

It's not the hardest thing, but I was like, who invented this one?

Yeah.

What if I'm mute?

Yeah, I can't fly.

That's my ID, right?

What I have to say, and you don't think if I stole someone's ID, I wouldn't also learn how to pronounce it, yeah, yeah.

At least, and how do you know how to pronounce it?

Yeah, yeah, I would know how to pronounce it as well as you, yeah.

And then I was, I was just like always being a bitch to them, and then I was like, Why?

Why did I just say my name?

He goes, Because the guy in charge of this TSA at this airport is power hungry, and he decided to add a new rule.

I was like, Are you shafir?

Yeah, I like you, yeah, I like you.

So, you're telling me that the guy with a beard and a clean-shaven face is a contrarian.

What?

So what was the process going home?

How hard was it to discover about America or Canada leaving?

It was tough going home because I immediately had to go from that crazy, exciting life

to

selling suits.

And

I had two part-time jobs, delivering sandwiches and selling suits.

And I stayed with my parents.

I was like living with my parents in Ottawa.

I was trying to save money to go to Toronto to start comedy.

And

what a different vibe being on your own in a crazy foreign country to being like kind of lame in your town, staying with me.

So lame.

And it's cold and gray.

And,

you know,

yeah, it was, it was

my mom was like, you gave up the job in Prague to deliver sandwiches.

Thanks for the support and mess up people's suits.

and and uh i was like i was like i want to i don't know i can't do that i can't work in an office i just can't so just because it was in office couldn't it was like it seems like a dream job you're like it's still under fucking neon lights yes or not neon but whatever they are those halogen lights 50 hours a week are the worst and i was like if i can't do this in budapest then i can't do it at home at least you got out i i went to a w NBA game that met some people because I know somebody who works in like the W agent agent world, you know, and so and so we're talking to somebody.

The W, the women's agent world, yeah, women's sports.

You know what she said?

Because she worked in the male sports for a while.

Yeah.

Because when you work in women's sports, you pay for a lot less abortions.

Because one, it's them getting pregnant, two, they're all half lesbians.

So it's like, yeah, yeah.

Football, they're like, hey, get this girl cleaned.

Wow.

And you just have to do it.

What does that have to do with me working in an office?

So I asked this lady, she played in Turkey for a while.

Oh, yeah.

She played basketball in Turkey and Russia.

And I was like, how was Turkey?

What did you do?

And she goes, I mean, you know, we got to Europe when we had like away games and stuff.

And I'm like,

but I mean, did you get around Turkey?

She goes, yeah, no, no, I just kind of practiced, went back to my place.

Yeah.

Sounds like a little, at least you went out some.

I went out a lot.

Yeah.

I made friends there.

I went out a lot.

I practiced with the Hungarian basketball team.

Really?

Semi-pro basketball team.

And I got to know those guys.

And they took me out and stuff.

And I mean, that the my girlfriend was a local.

Yeah.

You know.

Did you learn the language at all?

Or did you not need need to?

It's a very hard language.

They think that an Asian tribe stopped there

and also

kept going to Finland, and then they both got isolated because they're both similar languages and they're not like anything surrounding them.

It's not a Slavic language.

Wow.

So they just dropped off some words and kept going?

Yeah.

Well, they just stayed there and started talking to each other and didn't talk to anybody else.

So, like, Finland is close.

Finland is, there's like four countries in between Finland and

Hungary.

Yeah.

Maybe more.

Oh, there.

But all the countries in the middle have different languages.

But those two countries have similar languages.

They say they have a lot of similar traits.

What the fuck's Finland?

Upper left.

Finland's up there.

Oh, damn.

So that's far, far.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

So they have they both say last name first and they and which is only happens in Asia in Asia Yeah.

And they have a couple other things that they say we know what's really messed up about Hungary what about their language what took me a while to figure out is hello is Sia and goodbye is hello oh really yeah wow that's tough that's tough it's like what that's tough you ever say hello

and they just leave

they walk in they go see ya you're like what is going on you ever scuba dive yeah it was awesome you know how when it's like the the is everything fine you give that yeah because you give that that means you want to go up and you have to go

yeah yeah yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

You really should go this for up.

That's true.

It's like, come on, you know what this means almost everywhere.

Most of us spend most of our life on land.

Takes

some understanding of land usage.

We're people.

Dude, that sounds like a fucking great trip, to be honest.

It was

a year in Hungary sounds fucking amazing.

That's great.

I started comedy a little late, but

those years were incredible.

The freedom they have of not having a career yet.

Yeah.

Being able to like, there's just delaying, but you're not like stopping something in the middle.

No, yeah.

It's pretty cool.

Yeah, it was great.

I think I learned a lot.

I learned a lot about myself anyway.

Yeah, that's a thing.

You learn about yourself in those places.

I didn't get stuck in a corporate job and then start comedy when I was 32, which was what was going to happen to me in Ottawa.

I would like

to got divorce, started comedy, moved to Toronto.

Everyone would have hated me.

Maybe be a Yucks headliner.

Yeah, yeah.

And just like talking to Breslin about.

Yeah.

About, come on, man.

Yeah.

Come on.

Send me to

Guelph.

Please.

I don't even know.

That was too deep.

A cut.

Yeah, it's just the worst place imaginable you're trying to get to.

Your dream is to go to Guelph.

75-mile radius plays, too.

We're like, can't play within 75 miles.

I'm like, oh, but fuck it, at a casino somewhere.

Yeah.

I can't play 70 miles away in an actual.

Yeah, it's a nightmare.

Well, was there anything else about Hungary you want to say?

Because I have random questions too.

No, Firewag, I did it all.

So it's always asked

what place are they thinking about?

Like what's calling them?

And then

also what travel, just general travel tips you have.

And also, honestly, what you would tell somebody who's going to Hungary, like, you should pack one of these.

You should not do this.

So what's the first question?

What country is calling you?

Where do you want to go?

I want to go to Vietnam.

Vietnam.

Yeah, I want to.

You've never been?

No, I want to go.

I've never been to Asia other than Turkey, which is not real Asia, in my opinion.

Israel's Asia.

Is it?

Yeah.

It's Africa.

No, borderline.

Yeah.

Egypt starts.

Oh, yeah, yeah, you're right.

I mean, you think obviously Saudi Arabia and Jordan are.

Middle East.

Middle East.

Middle East, but that's not a continent.

Yeah, you're right.

I suppose you're right.

I guess you win this one.

Yeah.

But then what is all this?

Vietnam.

Why?

What's Vietnam?

What are you thinking about?

It's beautiful and it's off the beaten path, but not too remote.

It has enough of infrastructure for tourists where you're not going to be like, your head's not going to be cut off.

Everything's safe.

And it's cheap.

And you can just get in and like, okay, I got my wits about me.

Now I can go off.

And

you will feel like you're really

going to a very, very different place.

But also your head won't get cut off, which is great.

That's the key.

Very, very, to have an out-of-world experience.

That's when you grow.

And and that's when you learn about yourself.

And that's when you learn, you get inspired because you learn about other people's culture and their thoughts on the world.

And maybe you don't adopt them, but just the fact that you learn how somebody else thinks.

But there is a possible other way.

Yeah.

It's like, oh, my way is just one way.

Yeah.

And not the way.

Yeah.

You can still have it as your way.

And you can also still think they're wrong.

Right.

You know.

Yeah, I got back from Southeast Asia and Gavin McGinnis, I saw him, and he was like.

I taught him how to do stand-up.

Really?

Yeah, it's like, I have like the.

I love Gavin.

I don't.

He's got some public stuff that I don't get involved with, but man-to-man, he's always been pretty cool.

Yeah.

I don't get involved with the other stuff.

He was mean to me, but he fired me from advice.

Well, that's man-to-man.

That's fine.

Yeah.

That'll allow.

But he goes, what did they think of in

Myanmar

and Vietnam?

What do they think of Americans?

And I'm like, they don't.

He goes, oh, yeah, they got their own lives to worry about, their own government.

Why would they care about America?

Yeah.

I mean, America is a pretty huge empire.

They get our culturally stuff, but generally, they're just like, I'm not thinking about that at all.

It's too far away.

That's what I'm excited about.

Because every place I've gone is like, I want the blue jeans.

You know, and it's fun.

It'd be fun to just be like, we're not doing blue jeans.

Yeah.

You know?

That's next on my list.

Somewhere I was out in Asia.

I can't remember.

I remember China or maybe Vietnam or somewhere.

But like, where are you from?

Because they like

Scottish, Irish, Australian, American.

They're like, we can't tell the difference.

It's just not here.

And like, where are you from?

Like, America, like, oh, Schwarzenegger.

And I'm like, no.

But yeah, I guess to them, his exports are from here.

They're doing what they do to us.

Or we do to them.

Yeah.

China.

Like, oh, China.

And they're like, no, I'm Vietnamese.

Like, oh.

And Kung Pao, huh?

Yeah, dude, you'll love Vietnam.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You've been on the bank.

But I only went to Ho Chi Minh and then South.

That's kind of where I I got sick of backpackers.

They know about America and Vietnam, I'll tell you that.

What?

They know about America and Vietnam.

They don't give a fuck about us anymore.

Really?

Yeah.

China is who they call it.

Oh, there's Poles?

Okay.

There's a lot of flipper arm people because of us

still being born with birth defects, but they really, but like America's cool now.

China is our fucking problem.

Back then, they liked China, hated America.

It's all flip.

None of them give a fuck about America.

They don't like China.

They hate China.

They keep trying to encroach.

But Hanoi is supposed to be real French influence, but I got sick of it and then went southwest to Cho Doc because I was like, I just looked up.

I was like, where are there no white people in Vietnam?

Oh, yeah.

And it was some small town in the southwest on the Cambodia border.

And it was just like, it was glorious.

Nothing to do there.

Cool.

Was the food good?

Yeah.

The pho, I didn't get into that much except a little in Ho Chi Minh, Saigon, whatever.

But like

the

sandwiches, what are they called?

Banh Mi.

Damn, dude.

It's got the French bread, French infantry.

It's so fresh.

Yeah.

The bread is so fresh, and there's just little stands everywhere.

You just get it, go, and it's just like, God, refreshing.

It's kind of light, even for bread.

It's great.

Fried oysters everywhere.

And you see stuff that's like out, and you're like passing a market, and you just see out oysters.

And you're like,

this is going to get me food poisoning, but I'm just, I'm going to do it.

Yeah.

And you're like, whatever.

And then you didn't get food poisoning.

It was great.

Vietnamese coffee is so good.

Oh, yeah, that is good.

Gets you fucking jacked.

Very sweet, right?

Yeah, the condensed milk.

Yeah, you'll love it.

You got any plans to go or just calling you?

No, I just got back from a big

chill.

What about travel tips?

One for Hungary, two, not a travel tip, but like what should people know going into it?

Like if I'm like, hey, I'm going next week, what do you got for me?

Go to the baths.

Go to the baths.

Go to the baths.

You can drink in the baths.

Go to the baths.

Go

up to Budapest.

Go the Buddha side, which is like the pretty side.

It's like all the museums and stuff.

But uh, Pesht is where all the action is.

Pesht is like the

cool zone.

Those are the two cities, it's Buddha and Pest?

Yeah, on either side of the Danube.

The Danube River snakes through it.

Pesht is the cool side.

Buddha is like the it's bougie, all the museums there.

Bougie, Pest.

Yeah, that's right.

There's a cool, cool bat there.

Oldest Roman bath, I think, is there.

But the bigger one, the one that we saw the video of, is

in Pesht.

A lot of cool dive bars.

Wow.

Yeah, their wine is decent.

Eat what?

Eat.

You have to have goulash there.

You have to have,

yeah, eat those little sausages from the windows.

And

the subways are good.

Streetcars are good.

They have a crazy festival in the summer.

You would love this.

And it's these like DJ floats.

Each float is a new DJ.

And you just party on the street and you can follow whatever float you want.

So they're right off the water on the Danube.

No, this is just down the main drag.

It's like if Broadway was like

a parade.

It's a parade.

But on the water.

Oh, float like that.

Land float.

Sorry.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like a parade float.

That's a dance along.

That's how Carnival is.

Yeah.

True, you're just like, I like this DJ.

Let's stay with him.

Yeah.

And then if you stop for a while, another one comes and gets you.

Yeah,

you can just stop there and wait for them to go by.

And they just all have topless women dancing on.

Oh, and love topless women.

And the thing about Buddha, about Hungary in general, is

most beautiful women I've ever seen, and the ugliest men I've ever seen.

Every man looks like a younger version of Mr.

Clean,

and every woman is gorgeous.

And you'd have no idea how these men's genes create these beautiful women.

And

yeah, it's

it's

they they they have a

I mean, Budapest is just it was an incredible, incredible experience.

I loved it.

Yeah, that sounds awesome.

Yeah.

What about general travel tips?

General travel trips, do not stay one day in a city and go to the next city or two days in a city.

Pick a city, stay for four days, stay for five days.

Become a regular at a bar or a restaurant.

Do the city properly because you will not relax.

You will not have a vacation.

You won't learn anything.

You won't have any fun.

You'll be stressed out.

It's like a job ticking

a box.

And

it's everything.

I've been here.

I did that early on in my first foray into traveling.

It's like, I wasn't having any fun.

I was stressed out.

I just did Rome for five days.

People are like, five days?

Wow.

You're going to go to Florence?

I'm like, no.

Rome is huge.

Because the travel then becomes part of it.

You're wasting days in travel.

And I'm also like, right, there's more to Rome.

It's huge.

We took a day trip to the beach.

We took an hour-long public transport, like a Metro North-type-style thing or Long Island railroad type.

But you stayed in Rome.

But we went back to our Airbnb that night.

It was an hour, and we felt like we were in a different city altogether.

And there was like a beautiful beach and everything.

It was awesome.

That's right.

You're almost like, hey, I know it's a country, but you're not going to a whole region.

You're not going to like, I'm going to Southeast Asia.

No, I'm going to Vietnam.

No.

So, well, why are you there?

Go to Cambodia and Thailand.

You're like, I only have a week.

You only have a week.

You're not going to have fun.

You're going to stay in one city.

I'm going to go to America.

I'm going to go to Seattle and Florida.

New York.

You're like, no, you're going to have the worst time.

What are you doing?

Yeah.

Unless you're Australian, you can go like, well, I'm going for two months.

It's my vacation.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, damn.

That's my biggest one.

And pack light, you're never going to wear any of the things you pack.

Just pack.

You are going to wear.

You're only going to have one bathing suit that you're ever going to wear.

You're only going to wear two, three pairs of pants.

And

pack light rules because it makes you, it allows you, if you have a souvenir or something, something, room to bring it back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But then also, like,

you're gonna have to carry it, is the point to carry it around.

It's your carrying it.

What I wouldn't do is if they're going to a place, except for like, let's say I'm going on a long hiking trip or a ski trip or you need equipment,

forget that.

But if you're like, oh, I don't have a bathing suit, I'm going to Rome.

We might go, we might go, or Budapest, I might go to the bath, I need a bathing suit.

Don't buy it here.

Buy it there.

It's not the 1950s with a travel check.

You can get everything.

You just buy it there.

Yeah.

You can get everything there.

And then whenever people are like, where'd you get that bathing suit?

Like, Budapest, actually.

Yeah, yeah.

You got a story behind it.

Exactly.

And that's your regular bathing suit.

Yeah, yeah.

You wrote a book?

Oh, this is your Edinburgh show.

It's my Edinburgh show.

There's a big book he's in front of.

I know.

I was like, where is this?

Pete and me.

Hopefully off-Broadway soon.

Hopefully off-Broadway soon.

Yeah.

Well, guys, follow him on Instagram, Mr.

Graham K.

Graham spelt like the cracker, K-A-Y like the letter.

Yeah, hilarious comic, and hopefully you'll get, well, you got to get this more than 18,000.

because you deserve you're you're on the should be over 300

just based on talent and i'm not talking about like workmanship and stuff but yeah i don't i'm not i'm not good with social media yeah but i'm saying talent of comedy you're 300 000 uh that's really nice you to say thank you thank you i'm gonna i'm choosing to accept that as as earnest yeah

you're a good man did it sound sarcastic no you ever say something but my brain will my brain will be like he does no one likes you

got to get that out of the way i told somebody i'm not going to say who i was like you're one of the most underrated comics he goes what the fuck's that supposed to mean who says i'm underrated you don't think i'm rated i'm like ah fuck

i meant i think you're great and i don't think the world is aware

i loved what you said thank you for saying that um yeah last podcast you were like you're one of those like working comics that are just in new york doing it you're you're like a mike vecchion and that that was so nice that was a nice compliment yeah um

comics are always like what's that supposed to mean like it means he's one of the greats and you're there just talent-wise.

Sometimes I think nobody knows I do comedy, and then a younger comedian will be like, Dude, I watch your stuff, and blah, blah, blah.

And you're like, I'm like, it takes everything in my body not to go, really?

Yeah.

Arthur C.

Yeah.

Nice, buddy.

You got up there.

I got up there.

Got pretty, yeah, five in the morning.

Climbed a mountain with a bunch of theater kids.

It was fun, though.

Oh, that's great.

Dude, I went.

Oh, let's leave with this.

But I was up there.

It was the last day of

one of the fringes.

And

went up.

I brought plenty of joints.

I got high on mushrooms with

Evan Des Marie.

Yep.

I don't know if he pronounces it that way or not.

Desmarais, I think.

Okay.

Desmaris.

I don't know.

But Evan Des Marie

and

another Canadian blocking right now with all the fucking.

He lived in England for a while.

He's got fucked up.

He hosted Layton Live for the longest time.

Oh.

is he like 35-ish years?

He's been on the podcast.

Red hair?

Yeah, red hair.

Bobby or Bobby?

Bob.

Not David.

What the fuck?

It's this long COVID.

I can't remember shit.

God damn, now I got to remember it.

John Hastings?

John Hastings.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Good friend of mine, John Hastings.

Oh, he rules.

His hands are like this?

He's got some disease.

He can't pick up an egg or something.

He's got dyspraxia.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You'll be walking with him and he'll just start bumping into you.

And he's like, what are you doing?

6'5, 250 pounds.

He's like, get away from me like the whole sidewalk he's like i can't see i have dyspraxia yeah yeah so we all took mushrooms he freaked out he flipped out and he thought we were like he was in a hidden reality show we were taping him and i realized i was like well where are the cameras he goes in every street light and i'm like oh i'm not gonna be able to get that is where i'd put him yeah and i'm like we're not in a hidden camera show he goes wouldn't you say that though if you were hosting one and i was like

yeah i would yeah I was like, he made a logic loop that I was like, you've sealed the loop.

Yeah.

And then he just kept running away.

Every time time he tried to catch me, run away.

And for day for Evan, I was like, buddy, you got to let him go.

He's on his own journey.

Yeah.

He's a big guy.

No one's going to check him out.

He was fine.

Get him.

Yeah.

The next day I was like, how are you?

I'm like, I'm good.

Have you seen my phone?

I'm like, buddy,

no, your phone's gone.

Yeah.

But anyway, we went up on top of our seat and all these theater kids and like their lion outfits and stuff from their last theater shows.

And they're like, I was smoking a joint.

They're like, oh, can I have some weed?

And I had like six joints on me.

I didn't need them.

And I was like, here's a joint.

Tell everybody Americans are cool.

And he's like, okay.

Good for you.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Americans are cool.

Americans are cool.

Here's the thing.

People will be like,

America sucks.

And I'm like, what music do you listen to?

What, what, where, how are you dressed right now?

Yeah.

You have to admit, you know, like the Beatles?

At least half of it.

You know, like Phil Collins?

Yeah.

It's like, at least half of it is very cool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What are you wearing, you asshole?

And even the side you don't like has some cool stuff, too.

Like,

you know there's always a positive even like new york's dirty i'm like all right sure but that's your focused on

the best jazz in the world here

anyway um all right thanks buddy i think that's it yeah did we do go too long no yeah we went a little too long but everyone subscribe i'll i'm cutting it now Well, that's the episode, everybody.

I hope you enjoyed it.

I'm going to tell the story about Graham K that I forgot in the whatever.

Also, don't forget, get your Yubi tripping stickers and t-shirts available right now at rvshfair.com brand new get the first batch made right now uh i saw the t-shirts that uh two people made pirate ones which i have no problem with um in providence showed up a nice couple and i was like wait where'd you get those those look fucking sweet it's the stamp from the fucking backdrop that Abercadaver made the one who makes the shroom fest shirts that are coming soon shroom fest is July 6th 7th and 8th this year

if you don't know what that is you just do mushrooms

I'm sorry, September 6th, 7th, and 8th.

The latest it's ever been.

6th, 7th, and 8th.

At any point, 6th, 7th, or 8th.

Saturday, Sunday, Monday.

Go outside.

I'd say go at night.

Full moon

in the northern hemisphere.

One time

I was hosting, I believe,

Graham K went on.

I think it was newly back from COVID, and I was doing an Aryan friend show.

I had Graham on because Zilaris, go see his show.

Pete and me at the Soho Playhouse July 9th through August 3rd.

Get tickets at Sohoplayhouse.com.

Use promo code Peter Parker for a discount just for the listeners of this podcast.

Pete and me, it's available right now.

And in Toronto on September 6th.

And, ooh, hold on those pictures.

And Cincinnati, the Comedy Bar.

Love that place.

And Cincinnati, Ohio, October 24th and 25th at Bombs Away.

Don't know that place.

Love Comedy Bar.

Don't know Bombs Away.

Either way, go to GrahamK.com.

So anyway, he was on.

He did some story.

I'm not going to say what.

And there was some offensive material in there.

We had this lady who was half-representative of the group that would be offended.

That's pretty broad.

I like the way I say that.

And this

lady

said,

I take issue with what you said.

Now, in the story that Graham told, he was called this

offensive thing.

He's recounting a tale where he was accused of something.

I think I went on afterwards and I said, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard is you being called

this thing.

I won't say what it is.

I can't say what it is.

It's not my joke.

I think he might still be doing it.

And I got for the first time, he was like, lady, it's a joke.

They came at me with that.

I'm sharing my pain of this terrible thing.

i agree it's a terrible thing i'm coming out and i for the first time in my life figure it out when someone comes up to you after a show it's never good it's never like hey even if it's like hey i enjoyed everything you said but then it's you're overstepping get out of here just comment on the stuff you enjoyed that's the whole america sweet art streaming on netflix now it's the whole message

and i go it's brilliant i go

Lady, you're right.

She goes, what?

I'm like, no, you're right.

The way you said it, you're right.

I'm just not going to do that anymore.

You got through to me.

She was so ready to fight, she couldn't let it go.

She's like, well, it was just bad.

You don't shouldn't do that.

I'm like, no, you know, I see it your way.

I see it your way.

You're right.

I won't.

Because, yeah, I mean, you shouldn't do it.

I'm like, oh, no, no, no.

I already said, you know, three times now.

I agree with you.

I agree with you.

I see it your way.

You made a clear, good point.

You weren't angry.

She was.

And you didn't raise your voice.

She did.

And it got through to me.

And I see it, and I won't do it anymore.

One win for your team.

I won't.

I'm on your side now.

I won't do that ever again.

And she couldn't let it go.

And eventually I was like, hey, lady, I'm on your side.

It's never going to happen again.

I was wrong to do it.

I see that now.

I didn't see it before.

But because of this interaction, I now see it.

You've converted me.

She finally started to understand it.

This guy's on my side now.

I don't have to be angry, but I want to be righteous.

And this is stopping me from being righteous.

And that's the problem with liberals.

I like liberals and conservatives, but liberals enjoy being righteous.

So they actually don't want to convert anyone.

And actually, now that I think about it, conservatives are the same way.

They need liberals to be the crazy ones.

They need a fucking trans woman to crush a 100-meter dash.

They need it.

Otherwise, they got nothing to be mad about.

They need it desperately.

I would like to tell you about, I'll be in Charlestown, West Virginia, July 12th.

Get tickets right now at riskfair.com.

My final road date.

Also, get these stickers, the six-pack of stickers, $15 on my website, Arieshafir.com.

The you be tripping stickers, you'll be tripping t-shirts.

I finished the wall, everybody.

I got my final piece of mail that I opened up.

I'm going to read it to you.

I finished the fucking just in time.

Just in time to shut down.

By the way, guys, how does it sound when I turn my head all the way this way?

Oh, wait here.

How does it sound when I turn my head all the way this on the lapel mic?

What if I turn that way?

Does it sound okay?

Ari,

it was also put with a three-pack of Chick-fil-A gift cards that I promptly gave away to black people.

Ari, you just said you weren't going to do those kind of jokes anymore.

Oh, yeah, I lied to her.

Ari, I haven't seen the

wall, so I don't know if you have any

PHP up

there yet.

So small.

I mean, look how much waste this space is on here.

I have 100 piso note left over from when I went to

I don't know something from my father's funeral several years ago.

See, Cebu.

I was going to go there to get my diver's license.

Cebu, Cebu.

Damn.

Yeah, they said some of the best diving.

You can dive with whale sharks, too.

Several years ago, including a few free meals

because everyone loves those, correct?

Thanks for all

the pods

and

content and something content over the years.

All the best, Mike.

Hey, Mike, what?

It's so small.

Anyway, I did.

I put it up.

Where's the Filipino one?

It is

no.

Is that it?

Nah, that doesn't look like it.

Could be this.

I got Nigeria, Uganda, the central

Ivory Coast, I think.

Old Mexico, Vietnam.

Canary Islands from Sarah Tolomash,

who went there.

She's coming.

Is it next week?

No.

Yes?

I think they're next week.

Hango Central.

Nicaragua.

I mean, it's kroners.

I got, dude, I got fucking.

That's it.

Filipina.

Sandang Piso.

I got everything.

It's crazy.

United States.

I got China from during COVID when they made special give it up for the fucking

Guinea, Malaysia,

Indian rupees, Central America, what?

Bank of Republican the Burundi,

fuck,

Costa Rica, god damn, I got everything.

Afghanistan.

I thought I got a Saddam Hussein one somewhere too.

Iran.

I finally finished the wall.

So stop sending it, everybody, because I'm no longer accepting it.

The P.O.

box has been shut down.

I will start it up in the future.

I appreciate it, but it is done.

If stuff is on the way, it'll be forwarded

for I don't know, a few months to a

forwarding address, but then that's it.

Pretty sad, but I finished it and I couldn't have done it without you guys.

Cuba, I think I got that one.

Trinidad, I got that one.

Romanian Lieutenant, I got that one.

The fuck is that?

Some of these I don't know.

Kenya, Zambia,

Congo.

Oh, there's the one with Saddam Hussein on it.

Iraq.

Where's that one?

Singapore.

Jesus Christ, kroners.

Egypt.

Pretty cool.

Yeah, well, yeah.

Anyway, you'll see it up.

You actually see

if these podcasts go up and down in time, depending on how full this wall is over the guest shoulders it's a good little uh fucking easter egg for you that's it everybody i hope you enjoyed today's episode next week i think it's sarah tolomash and joe list

talking about their trip to ecuador to visit me so it's me sarah tolomash and joe list let's see tolomash and list

the week after that mike vecchion about aruba The week after that, Joe DeRosa about...

Where did we do?

Where did we do?

I forgot.

damn we got some good ones coming um thank you very much everybody for tuning in I hope you all enjoy your lives

Hungary Budapest a fucking war profiteer Graham K nice Canadian guy war profiteer it's crazy that is crazy everyone go see a show at the Soho Playoffs Pete and me

and subscribe wherever you're watching or listening all right guys until next week See you later.

Next week's a good one.

Next week's a fucking good one.

It's partially my trip, partially Saratola Masha's, partially Joe List's.

And not even partially, fully, times three.

Thank you very much for tuning in.

This has been UB Tripping.

I'll see you next week.