Switzerland w/ Chris O'Connor | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

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Where you been and where you going?

This is our Reese Travel Show.

Yeah, we're going to talk about travel today.

It's you be trippin', yeah.

Hi, everybody.

Welcome to UB Trippin'.

It's a travel podcast.

We go to a different country every week.

It's the only podcast in America that has featured

three different members of tires.

Maybe two.

Pope's not on yet.

We'll eventually feature, well, is or will eventually feature three different members of Tires.

I'd have Kyla on here, but she's been to literally nowhere outside of Shane.

I went to Wildwood once.

Does that count?

She could probably make Philly sound like Bolivia.

Yeah.

Enough stores just South Philly.

You know how this guy wanted a tip after a restaurant?

You're like, Kyla, that's normal.

Like, oh, what?

Yes, I'm wrong.

She's always wanted to come on.

Fuck you.

Yeah.

I saw her at Shane's after-party for SNL.

She's sitting by herself.

And I'm like, how you doing?

She's like, good.

And then I walked and came up.

She was like asleep.

I'm like, shake it.

Normally it just flips into gremlin mode.

For Kyle.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She's the sweetest, sweetest person on earth.

And then all of a sudden, she's like, fucking piece of shit.

She will go angry to defend her friend.

It's like the aggressive friendliness.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She rules.

Or if you're not paying attention, like she's talking and you're not paying attention for one second, she can snap at you.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, you know what?

Oh, fuck me then.

Why don't you get me?

I was ashamed.

First of all, I don't know you're staying in the shit.

I was ordering you a drink.

Yeah.

You're busy puking in the toilet and not fucking flushing it.

Dude, I was the only one who held it down.

But that was wild.

The 999.

View me and Column.

Yeah, yeah.

It was so fun.

It was so fun.

It was so fucking fun.

It was so exciting.

It was just a regular season game.

And all of a sudden, it's like a playoff game.

It was a playoff game.

It was a playoff vibe in that.

It was interleague, so it didn't really matter even for bragging rights.

And I put all those hot dogs down.

I was like, I'm going to coast.

You went so hard on the dogs so fast.

It was a strategy for sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I knew once if I delayed on that at all, that could be a real problem.

That's at least what that's what I thought.

I was like, if I was slowly eating the dogs.

Because then it's like every bite is filling up.

What you need is you need some to be on the way.

I wanted, yeah, you know, get in there before the devil knows you're dead kind of thing.

This is what happens whenever I drink with DeRosa.

He'll be like, Let's do a shot or two.

And they're like, Okay, you're like, I'm fine.

You're like, No, in 25 minutes, I am going to throw up.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I've made that mistake countless times.

The 999 was one of the most epic.

It was because it went into extra innings.

We needed it.

Needed it.

I needed the 10.

And we got up there, too.

Like, game hasn't started yet.

Like, we're starting.

We're starting.

We're not going to sit here not drinking and eating while we're waiting for fucking the opening.

Dude, I wouldn't have been able to handle the stress.

We need a 10.

Yeah, yeah, we need a 10 because it's a faster game now.

Dude, did you see Aaron Judge's look when we told him what we were doing?

No, because I met him as a schoolgirl, so I didn't know how to do it.

I was looking at his knees, he's so big, and then it was like Shane's talking to him.

I'm like, Do you know each other?

He goes, No, he just recognized me.

Just handing me a shot.

And he goes, So he's like, and then he sees all of us like this.

And he goes, Oh, here's Art.

He knows I'm a Yankee fan.

He goes, Aries Fury.

He's like, He wants to suck your dick.

I'm like, Shane,

shut up, dude.

It's the one moment you're like, it's not funny, man.

It's not funny.

It's serious.

He's my hero.

But then he goes, I didn't know what to say.

I'm like, we're doing the 999.

Yeah, this will bring him back around.

He told her.

He goes, oh, yeah, I think maybe I heard of that.

Yeah.

It's funny in those moments, you think they're going to think it's cool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He should have.

I was actually doing it.

He was playing two today.

Yeah.

We're not so different, you and I.

You passed out so.

I have so many pictures of this.

You were done.

You were done with dogs.

Yeah, yeah.

But you thought no problem with the beers.

I just thought the beers, I thought the beers could go around the dogs.

Right.

Fill in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I really, I, it was really the

only time in my life where I was pissed that there was ice-cold beers.

You wanted them warm?

Warm.

A warm beard would get down.

As soon as the cold beer hit the hot dogs.

It hardened the dogs in your your stomach.

It was a problem.

Just the ice-cold carbonation.

Oh, no, I can do it.

It's all right.

I like playing with it.

I'm going to play with it regardless.

Yeah.

It's a nervous tick.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it ruled.

It was so fun.

And then we drank more later.

We all kind of regrouped and went back to Xfinity.

We're like, no, let's have a couple.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then we ordered takeout later that night.

After we got that at Shane's, we went back.

I mean, I should have been hanging out with out with Paige.

Hey, what?

That's when it came up.

Well, I smoked a cigarette,

and then that was a problem.

I went out on his balcony and I smoked a cigarette, which is always a mistake.

Damn, I thought that would help.

Yeah.

Calm down.

Only the food, but not the booze.

The booze and cigarettes.

Yeah, spins.

All right, where are we going today?

What do you want to talk about?

I lived in Switzerland for a while.

I worked for an oil tanker brokerage

between my junior and senior year of college.

How did I not know this?

Yeah.

Yeah, I love it.

You lived there.

You took a year off?

Yeah.

I like,

yeah, the end of my junior year, I was like losing my mind because I, yeah, I like was really like falling apart.

Because I'd like,

I'd pretty much built my entire life around playing lacrosse.

You were lacrosse guy?

Yeah.

Why didn't you go to Maryland?

Wasn't good enough.

That's here.

That's what I was looking for.

That's what I was alluding to.

I was not good enough.

I can't imagine many other schools where the lacrosse players are like, get on my way, nerd.

Oh, yeah.

Like Johns Hopkins.

Johns Hopkins, right nearby each other.

Yeah.

And Syracuse,

and I forget what else.

There wasn't many, like, it's always five or six schools that are like the best.

Syracuse, Maryland, Princeton,

Princeton, yeah.

Hopkins were

the beasts.

Yeah.

But yeah,

I was like getting to the end of my junior year, and I was like, I got one more year of this left.

I'm not, this has not panned out.

I'm like not that good.

What are you going to go pro, make 38 grand a year?

Exactly.

And I was like, what the fuck am I going to do with my life?

I'm too much of a pussy to do stand-up.

Oh, you think about it already?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

But I was just like, I don't, I don't know how to do that.

And I don't have the balls to do it.

And I would like write stand-up and just not do it.

And, yeah.

And I was just facing down.

Like, I was like, I'm just going to get, you know, I looked at all of like, my brother was older than me and I looked at all the like guys he had graduated with and they like they just went into like regular business world and I was like I'm just gonna do that I'm gonna like people don't understand this now stand-up is so popular yeah was like you can't do that there was nobody was doing it I went I told people I was moving to LA it was for stand-up and for and for maybe screenwriting I took some screenwriting classes I just had screenwriting yeah because I'm like all right you've at least taken classes the thought of you could be there's like 10 in the world yeah yeah what do you walk into the comedy store and just get a job do what yeah that's what i did actually

and worked the post like i want to be a comedian like no but there's other things you can do

it is that feels like one of those stories you'd run it like you know in the panic years of like i don't know how to i don't know how you'd even start asking someone to be like no i just walked into the comedy store and

got a job like work in the mail room work your way up yeah yeah yeah like oh yeah i guess you can just i guess you can just go meet people

that's so weird.

But anyway, so then you were like, I'm sick of this.

Yeah, I freaked out.

I was like,

I got to do something.

I'm taking a year off.

I called my coach and I was like,

I need to take a year off.

And he was like, yeah.

Did you tell him?

I don't want your laugh.

I was like, I'll be back, but I can't.

I'm losing my mind.

He's like, I know.

He's like, if you're not having a starter, it's fine.

Yeah.

I wasn't that bad.

I was all right, dude.

I was in the rotation.

I was in the rotation.

You have any highlight videos of you playing lacrosse?

Yeah.

Dude, what?

Yeah.

Yeah, I got

this a YouTube video of me scoring a goal.

It's not very sexy, but yeah, against Virginia, baby.

Yeah.

Where'd you play?

Drexel in Philly.

We were all right.

My son.

No fucking way.

What an asshole that guy is.

What a get out of here.

Who invited this guy to the party?

Your chin is big.

Yeah.

Another one doesn't know how to fucking take a picture.

It's a sports photo.

You You try to make your neck look as big as possible.

God.

Yeah, man.

Under the wind.

Snow goal.

Is that you?

No.

Photo share.

No, none of these are it.

I think if you'd have to look up like UVA Drexel 2000

something.

Charlie O'Connor.

Oh, he's the better O'Connor.

Yeah.

There's a lot of better O'Connors.

So you're like, I'm done.

I'm out.

Yeah.

And then

I remember I played,

I played in a lacrosse tournament before I left, got in a fight, got the shit kicked out of me.

The next day, I had to fly to Switzerland.

You already got the job?

Yeah, I got the job I got through my uncle.

My uncle was like in the oil business, and he,

there were like, it was a time where they were opening up, like Geneva was going to become this like oil trading like hub.

So every oil tanker business, I was like, they were trading company or brokers.

They were all opening up little shops in Geneva.

No, it's for Switzerland, man.

It's in the middle of Europe.

Yeah.

Okay.

And

so there was just, it was a shop of like six guys over there, and they needed like basically an intern.

And so he got me the gig.

Hey, everybody.

Let me break in really quickly to tell you a little bit about the guest, Chris O'Connor.

He's a hilarious stand-up comic.

He's on tires, which has just come out.

Please, everybody, watch Tires with starring Chris O'Connor and supported by Shane Gillis.

Yeah, that's it.

It's Chris O'Connor project that Shane Gillis is on.

He's also a friend of mine.

Chris launched a television series called Tires.

He wanted to make it Fires, but the network pushed back and said that's going to make kids light up homes.

So he changed it because he has no moral standing.

He has no moral code.

So he's like, sure, whatever you want.

I'll just get it on.

And Chris pitched this show and it became tires.

And then he looked out for his buddy Shane Gillis and got him on it as well.

Tires streaming on Netflix right now.

Chris is also on the road.

He's in Helium, St.

Louis, July 15th.

Cap City in Austin, Texas, July 22nd, 23rd.

And the stand in New York at Love Caddies on the 28th.

All tickets are available at

chriso'conner.com

achris o'connor.com slash dates.

dates.

Can you show that on the screen?

A.

Chris O'Connor, that's legitimately his site.

Well, if you go to his site, you also can see that he's opening for Santino and Shane Gillis, which it tracks when you have a...

Who's going to find that, Chris?

Who's going to find that fucking website?

A.

Chris O'Connor?

Is there...

Maybe, actually, it's a pretty commoner name.

Maybe there's another one.

Guys,

I'm getting too involved in this, and I apologize.

Myself, I've got some dates.

I'm in

Anchorage, Alaska

on June 18th, and I'm in Charlestown, West Virginia on July 12th at the Hollywood Casino.

Get tickets at risphere.com.

Also get merch.

My Go for a Hike shirt is available right now that I'm wearing right here.

And grinders, vinyls, all sorts of stuff.

Please subscribe also wherever you're listening.

And that's it.

Let's get back to the episode.

I went over there.

I I landed on a...

I think I landed on a Friday morning.

Yeah.

Landed.

The kid who was working there before me was like, I got two tickets to Munich on the train.

We're leaving right now.

You landed in Switzerland?

I landed in Switzerland at like seven in the morning, dropped my bags off at the apartment, which was like this shitty, weird, like communist building.

It was very dark and a place I'd never seen before.

But I was there for one second drop my bags off get on a train to to Munich where the World Cup was happening it was like the it was like the finals of 2008 2006 2006 is that when the no Germany World Cup is that no Brazil Germany won in Brazil

no that was later 2006 was Zinedine Zidane head-butting the Italian guy.

I don't know if you remember that.

Italy beat France to win it all.

Zinedine Zidane, well, yeah.

He like lost his mind.

Some guy said he like fucked his sister.

And in like the, in like the image is just like,

not that bad.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like, I mean, I never met your sister, bro.

It's obvious.

In the 80th minute, he just head-butted him and got red card out.

I mean, that guy's not flopping.

His feet are off the ground.

He is not flopping.

He hits him hard.

In the final game of the year?

No, this was the final.

This was the final.

It was a tie game.

No.

Yes.

He head-butts him.

Wow.

I want to see this.

History.

Not sure if there's ever a proper time to pull it ahead button.

I fucked your sister.

Right there.

I fucked your sister.

Oh, in the chest.

Yeah.

However, Sydney's a non-series.

So why did he do it?

Well, Italy's Marco Monarazzi said something not very nice about the non-sister.

See, the head-button in the chest and was sent off halfway through extra time.

Italy went on to went on time.

Oh, yeah, it was in extra time.

What do you think Rachel Bonetta is doing right now?

I mean, she wanted to be a broadcaster, right?

You guys look up Rachel Bonetta and see what the fuck she is.

I bet she's a mom or something.

She's sleeping in.

Yeah, let's try to find her.

Come back to me when you found her.

But let's keep talking for a second.

Oh, maybe she's still.

Wow, Bonetta with the button.

33 years old.

She looks great.

Comedian.

No.

She's Canadian comedian.

What?

Wow.

You got to have her on the show.

Rachel, whatever you want.

Yeah, Bonetta Apple Bum.

I got to put you on.

I'm going to put some soccer clips for us.

Wow.

I mean, wait, go back down.

Wow, look at that.

That's what I wanted to say.

No, it's all right.

Yeah.

Jesus.

Who the fuck are these?

Who's that attractive people can do comedy?

That was never the deal.

It was supposed to be you and me.

No,

now it's hot people.

Fucking Dane fucked it up for everybody.

Dane Cook?

Yeah.

He was like, no, we'll make this cool.

And then he brought a bunch of like Dahlias in and people like that.

And all the next group of people, like, they're all cool.

Yeah.

And on this fucking bitch.

How did she get it?

Did she walk into the comedy store?

Well, it'll be Yuck Yucks.

Anyway,

she might not be a stand-up comedian.

There's not a single picture of her with a microphone.

She is.

No way.

No way.

Go to to YouTube.

They would have been there.

She's at the improv.

Where's there?

What's that?

Wow.

Which improv is she at?

Oh, it's just in general.

True, multi-half-hyphenate actor.

I'm over there.

Let's go.

Let's go back to Switzerland.

First of all, what a cool way to do it.

It's safer in Switzerland.

What a cool way to land.

Immediately, he's like, you're partying.

We're doing this.

Yes.

You're in the system.

Let's go.

Yeah.

And it's like, dude, I've never been to Europe before.

I have no idea what the fuck's going on.

I literally put my bags down in this place.

We walk to the train station.

He's doing like snus and stuff.

And, like, nice.

Yeah, yes.

It's like, I don't even know what that is.

He's snorting tobacco.

I was like, what the fuck is going on?

We get the train ride's like eight hours long.

Yeah.

We get there.

Do you get tickets for the World Cup?

No.

You're just going to go party up there.

I'm just going to go party in Munich.

We get to Munich,

get off.

It's like, again, it's like Germany is inconceivable.

12 hours, like, or I guess 24 hours before, I was in New York, and it's like, I've never left.

Wow.

Yeah.

We start walking around town.

There's a college, like a beautiful old,

like old German college that the entire interior of is just different parties.

Like clubs, it's dark, lights are just flashing everywhere you go.

So we party in that for a while.

I wind up meeting some like Brazilian girl.

What do you mean?

Yes, I don't know.

She was just there.

No, what do you mean, meeting?

I literally just met her.

I didn't hook up with her or anything.

But I went back to her hostel,

stayed in the hostel she was staying at.

And she was like, she was like, I'm getting up at 5 a.m.

I'm taking this train to some castle.

I'm going to go see a castle.

And I was like, all right, I'll go do that.

I'll find somebody.

This will work out.

This weekend it'll work out.

3 a.m.

We get back, go to sleep, get up, get on a train.

We take a train to like a, to a bus, and

we get off in this little village.

There's like fog.

There's like clouds like covering just this road up into the mountains.

And as we're walking up the road, the clouds start to clear.

And it's like the Neusfenstein Castle or whatever.

It's like the castle that the Disney castle is modeled off for.

It's in Munich, I think it's in Austria.

It's like on the border of Germany and Austria, maybe.

They're going to have such a literally had no idea where I was going the entire time.

I was just like, all right.

And then they were like, then we get on this club.

I'm going to be 21.

Yeah.

And just like, all right, I'll go with you somewhere.

Yeah.

What a life.

Yeah.

What's the worst that could happen?

Yeah.

Wow.

Wow.

Inspiration for Cinderella Castle.

Damn.

Yeah.

Dude, it was.

Wow.

So you went just to go to that?

Yeah.

Damn.

Damn.

Look at those mountains.

Dude, it was

incredible.

We just walked around this castle.

I'm sorry.

Then I met these two other guys.

Yeah.

Those you hooked up with.

Those I had.

Those I two guys I fucked with.

That was multiple times.

You familiar with human centipede?

I told you I was in a dark place.

Okay.

Then, yeah, we went.

Then we just wound up like

it's like, I got all the way there and got to go around the castle while still drunk from the night before.

And then like the hangover set in.

And we had like a four-hour bus slash train ride back to me.

Yeah, yeah.

Horrific.

Get back to Munich.

Immediately go to a beer garden where the

also one of these things where it's like, there was a dude.

I remember

there was a dude from like Australia that I met, and he just gave tours.

What do you mean?

Like, he would just give tours to like young, hot girls and just fuck them.

And I just remember being like,

I didn't know this was a job.

You know what I mean?

Like, you just

walk to a hostel and go, I'm the tour guide.

Who wants to do a tour?

Yeah, yeah.

And then talk to him along the way yeah

and then every night just him who's like

dude i i i had so many like

don't use your power he's like what power i'm a makeshift tour guide there's no power just go tours for the hostel yeah

incredible wow

dude beer gardens rule by the way They're so great.

It's kind of like an Austin.

Big Beer Steins.

Yeah.

You're sitting outside.

Yeah.

Something to eat, some spetzel.

Yeah, whatever.

Yeah, whatever.

Whatever's going to help the beer stay down there.

It was a little bit of a 999 challenge.

And those fucking fat-headed ladies bringing them out, like seven at a time, just holding them like that.

Oh, yeah, that's like mistake number one: you try to go like four or six, just immediately dump them.

Oh,

well, I'll get another round.

Yeah.

So then what, so then, then, okay.

It was, this was just straight whirlwind.

Like.

Wow, that's fun.

Yeah, then.

Watching the games at bars?

Yeah, watch the game at a beer garden.

Watch the

consolation game.

You saw the Zidane headbutt there?

No.

No, I...

The Zidane headbutt game was, I think, Sunday.

It was Sunday night.

So Saturday night, we watched the third place game.

Get on the train the next morning at like 8 a.m.

to go back to Geneva, like all the way across Switzerland.

The buddy that I was traveling with gets off in Zurich.

I've only been to the place that I'm supposed to be staying.

Where was it?

What city was this?

He got off in Zurich.

I was going to Geneva, which is like on the opposite sides of Switzerland.

So

I get back at like 8 o'clock at night.

It's dark.

There's no map.

I don't know really where the apartment was.

I remember kind of where it was from the one second I was there

Friday morning.

You're not walking backwards out of the place.

Yeah, yeah.

I have like a rough idea of where I'm going.

I wound up walking through just like the red light district in Switzerland, which I was like, did know they had one of these.

I didn't know that.

Yeah.

But again, I was like, well, whatever.

Philly's got to be scarier than this place.

It's got to be the most expensive red light district in the fucking world.

Oh, for sure, Philly's scarier than that.

Yeah, yeah.

We're just a bunch of well-dressed dudes.

Maseratis and well-dressed dudes.

Damn.

Okay.

It was a nice landmark because I wound up living right around.

I found my brother.

You a hooker guy?

I was for a little while.

Yeah.

This actually, like.

I think this was like, I kind of got scarred.

This is you smoking the whole pack.

No, no.

I only, I only wanted to.

Let me fuck every hooker here then.

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Well,

the problem was eventually when I was working this job,

all the dudes that worked at the company that were flying back from Singapore would stop in Geneva and have nothing to do for a day.

And the oil business is very,

yeah.

prostitute heavy.

So I would have to go out drinking with them.

And there was one time where a guy was like, you ever get a hooker?

And I was like, no.

You lied to him.

No, I was being serious.

He goes, he goes, he was like, then you're getting one.

And I was like, wow.

No,

no.

I can't.

That's just not as.

Listen, if I'm that guy and you hit me with that kind of no,

that's still a yes.

I never, I don't think I'd really ever been in a strip club up into that point.

It takes money.

Yeah.

In the movies, you just go to one.

Yeah.

But it's actually like, hey, that's like $100 I just blew through.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I don't have cash.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But it was so weird.

I remember, like, because...

You got a hooker in Geneva?

Yeah.

What were they like?

Are they just well-mannered?

Dude, I, like, I didn't even.

No, they were rude.

They were rude.

It was like, and they were mad.

I felt like they were mad that I was there.

What were they mad?

Did you bring a Nestle chocolate bar in there?

I don't know.

I feel like I didn't know how to operate.

You know?

Like, the guy kept going, like, do you like her?

And I was like, no.

I mean, I don't really know her.

Yeah,

but he would just keep inviting girls up and I'd be like no

No

Like and I think they were getting pissed and then eventually I was just like I can't keep saying no to people.

This is yeah

and I went in there and it was

Yeah, it was a disaster.

I remember it was like it was like being it was like going to like a hospital

It was like we were just in this room and she had like all of these like gels and like membranes and like just stuff that it was like not

anything.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Hold on.

It was like

pumping like

a fucking like dental damn thing and a condom.

It was like crazy.

Yeah.

And she would like, she had this whole like medicine corner of like

antiseptic like gels and stuff to like put on and like cover her body.

It was like

it was a bummer.

It really bummed me out.

It's not like in the movies.

No, no, no.

No, it was like a really heavily government-regulated industry.

You could feel the hand of the government on it.

It was bad.

It was bad.

Did you fuck?

Could you get hard?

No.

Yeah, my first hooker was that.

No, no.

Which pissed her off even more.

Yeah.

Why do they get mad about it?

Less work for you.

No, it's more work for them.

Because

they're working away at it for a while.

And there was a language barrier.

You know what I mean?

You didn't speak the language of love?

Yeah, I was just like, no, no, yeah.

I met the Tijuana, my first one, she was like,

what'd you say?

Oh,

how much they, how do you say too much?

Tambien?

No.

Whatever.

But it was like, it's like mucha.

And I was like, no, but thank you for the out.

No, I'm just incredibly nervous.

It's 98 degrees in here.

And there's a fucking rubber cover on the sheet, on the mattress.

Yeah.

Yeah, you went overseas and did it?

Only overseas.

And over the weird seas.

I went to Tijuana.

That's over a bridge.

And then Brazil.

That's an over the seas.

Yeah.

Great.

Best one by far.

And then Thailand.

Yeah, I've heard Brazil is the best.

I worked with,

there were some guys that I met that were actually like guys that like would go around on the tankers.

They started off as like ship captains.

Yeah.

And they were always like the ABC Club in Rio de Janeiro or something is like the best place on earth.

It's crazy.

They stay after you're done.

Like, what are you still here for?

They're like, well, the Brazilian guys can fuck again.

So

you get the full hour.

So I assume you want to fuck.

I'm just like kind of talking to her and broken.

I'm like,

it's odd.

Get out.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

And she's just like, in her head, she's like, this is odd.

Why aren't you trying to fuck again?

Did you go?

Did you manage to go?

No, but the driver was like, did you get a second pop?

I'm like, oh,

that's why.

Because you got to get a second pop.

Like, you only get an hour.

Dude, if she had like four.

If she had done that, I would have kept handing her money.

She's being like, do I owe you?

Did I not tip enough?

What's the

when do you leave?

Oh,

yeah, on the oil, the oil money, my friend did, Sheezer did, like, he was a chef or something like that.

It's just like, you make money.

And then that brings in hookers.

That brings in people that are like, we'll take some of that money.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And all these guys really thought they were like rock stars.

They like really, really thought they were like the coolest people on earth.

Because they weren't the like, the one guy that actually was the man, the guy who owned Luke Oil's trading company

or was like running Luke Oil's trading company was just a dude from South Jersey.

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

Was the head of like moving all of Russia's oil around.

Was just like a dude who was like basically from Philly who loved me.

That was the guy I like hung out with the most.

Wow.

Yeah.

Who'd you make friends with then?

Dude, I kind of.

In a year you were there.

I was there for like six months.

Okay.

Yeah.

But I didn't really make any friends.

I was like...

I,

yeah, I like haunted that town.

First of all, Geneva is also like kind of like a cold city.

It's like such an international city that like you don't really.

I don't know.

It's not like a friendly place.

Did it like clear out on weekends?

Is it people just coming in for trade than leaving?

Like Panama City, I've heard is like that.

No, it was like, it would be like kind of busy.

It was just like

the one month, it was fun.

They had like their summer festival, which I think

I wish every city could do something like this.

Literally, every bar shut down their actual bar and just moved to the water and set back up.

And so, like, along the edge of Lake Geneva, it was just all these bars, and it was all month.

It was

sick.

Wow.

That's it.

And then it was open just 24 hours.

And you would just, they would have the, they would bring in these like tractor trailers, like just giant tractor trailers, just open them up, and they'd be playing like a different type of music, and you could just dance in front of that, or just move to the next truck.

They would just open up the side of it, like along the street.

It was like a three-mile-long, just like every truck was a different club.

Wow.

outside you could just be dancing dude the fucking summertime in those cold places dude

it was the best yeah it was the fucking best we went to austria and it was the same it's just like let's just get food sit by the river yeah drink bottles of wine and they party non-stop that entire month yeah yeah

and in the end they had the coolest it was like the yeah the end of the fete de genève was the coolest they had like a three-hour long like air show of planes just like buzzing the lake.

Like all different, like they started from like

World War I planes to like straight-up jets just buzzing the lake.

And then when that was done, they had, I swear to God, it was an hour and a half long, like grand finale fireworks show that was like all the barges were just like

all off like boats, yeah.

Damn, that's cool.

It It was nuts.

Fete de Genève.

What do they speak there?

French or German?

They speak

French, Italian, German, and English.

All their kids learn all four languages in school because they're all like right-on.

I know.

Philly can't even speak English.

They have like a quarter of one.

It was really embarrassing.

At one point, my dad...

So everyone's on this bridge?

No, it's like

there that's the bridge across like the I think it's probably like the Geneva River or something.

Oh, okay.

But that's at that's like at the very edge of the lake.

Okay.

People are wrapped all the way around.

All the way around the whole lake.

Yeah, imagine it's like you're at the end of like a cove.

Yeah.

And people are wrapped all but Lake Geneva goes like super wide, right?

Yeah.

Doesn't Lake Geneva go all the way to like Montreux?

Yeah.

I went to that too.

Where?

Montro?

I went to live at Montreux and saw Carlos Santa.

What?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

That was, yeah.

That was like the first weekend of my first week down there.

So my, like, this was the best is when I got back.

They're weighing the music there in Montreux.

What?

They're weighing the music there.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

It was, it was nuts.

That's where I learned that they, like, don't know what water is.

What do you mean?

Everyone, if you ask for water, they give you sparkling water.

And it drove me

fucking insane.

Really?

Yeah.

I like, I was, I got, you know, I was like, I went out with like the guys that I worked with.

We went, they were like, we got tickets to Carlos Santana, Montreux.

And I was like, yeah, yeah, I'm going.

Went, just dancing my ass off in like my business clothes.

Like it's a complete dickhead.

And then I fight my way all out of the, all the way out of the crowd.

I'm like waiting in line at the bar.

I'm dying of thirst.

And I'm just like, water, water.

Well, I'm like, clearly, like, I'm dying.

I'm s like, I'm drenched in sweat.

I'm wearing, you know, I'm wearing like a, yeah, just like a fucking button down that's soaked.

And they handed me like a Perrier.

And I didn't realize it.

I like cracked it open, started chugging them and splitting

out.

It's so bubbly.

Those Parries are extra bubbly.

And I was like, what the?

It drove me nuts.

It's like, there's got to be somewhere where this breaks down.

If you're in a hospital and someone needs water, you're not giving them fucking Perrier.

Bathing in it, just showering in bubble water.

Yeah, Macho Rules.

That's where Queen did all their stuff.

Queen had a recording studio there.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

I know Smoke on the Water was

from that.

But yeah, it was sweet.

Damn.

So what did you do every day in Geneva?

I remember

I would go to work.

There was a little bakery on the way that made these chocolate croissants that were fucking unbelievable.

And it was like the highlight of my day.

Then I would go to work.

On the way to work, get that.

I would get that and a coffee.

And I would sit out.

I would like sit and just like,

it was beautiful because they would have just teams of people come through and pick up all the trash every morning.

Like there was the streets were like spotless.

And

yeah, I would just have a little, that and a cup of coffee.

Then I would go to work.

And my thing was like I would just, people would send us ship positions and I would like enter them into a chart.

I just did that all day, answer the phones.

Dude, how cool is it just being in another country, especially when you're young like that?

Yeah.

And then just finding a bakery, not the one to go to, a bakery, and sit there and

you're just like, as you just like drink your coffee, but you're in another place.

So it's just like, like a fun new thing.

It was unbelievable.

I remember like it was before, I feel like, I swear to God, I feel like outdoor seating in America was not a thing until like.

It was very, but they did it over COVID and everyone was like, this is European.

This is very European.

But I remember seeing it.

I remember being like, why don't they do this in Philly?

I mean, you can't.

Heroin, man.

Heroin just won a lot.

Heroin would just steal.

Yeah, they would just leave all the chairs.

They tried New York and people were like, do you have any money?

Like, no.

Now let me get back to my boss Matty Rice.

You're eating fusion food around suffering?

It does make it hard.

They would just stand right there and like, I'm allowed to be on the sidewalk.

And everyone's like, fuck, yeah, you really are.

Yeah, yeah.

You see, on the other, if you're on on the other side of this little divider, you can't tall.

Excuse me.

But

the ones I hate was when it's just a table outside.

It's not even in a little booth.

So you're really people just walking right by you and looking at your food.

Like a little spittle can come out of your mouth.

But that was nice in Europe.

I mean,

in Switzerland, people did, you know, they kept their distance.

Yeah, yeah.

They also had those like broad sidewalks.

It was like a walking city.

Did you feel cool?

Did you tell your friends how cool you were?

No.

No, I was like, like I said, I was like, I was losing my fucking mind.

What do you mean?

Just too.

I was just like,

I just felt like...

I was like, this trip is nice.

All this stuff is very interesting.

But like,

I go back

and I do the thing and then I just go to that life and I'll kill myself eventually.

Damn, dude, that's depressing.

Yeah.

Those are depressing.

Dude, I remember I would like, I would leave work, and there was a little, it was like, it was like, it was called Co-op.

It was like a CVS.

Yeah.

And they would sell.

Oh, yeah, I know those.

Yeah, they would sell like a 12-pack of beer

for

six francs, which I thought was like unbelievable.

And I remember I would get one of those, and I remember two weeks into me being there, they went half off.

So you get a 12-pack for three francs.

Eventually, I was holding 48 beers.

Walking home.

Because you're afraid they're going to take away the deal.

And I would just walk home to this apartment

where I was sleeping on like a just like a cot.

It was like a tiny, tiny little apartment.

Sleeping on a cot with my little like tube TV

and that you couldn't really get any channels on.

It was just French TV.

Yeah.

I had no idea what was going on.

And I would just sit there and pound coop beer, like CVS brand beer.

This sounds like a terrible time.

It doesn't sound like it's rejuvenating at all.

No.

It seems like if you're getting overdone, whatever, it's like, I'm going to go to Costa Rica and do a six-month yoga retreat.

This is just, this is like leaving Las Vegas.

Yeah.

This is just like drink yourself to death in a small,

functional room.

That's exactly what I did.

Yeah, just non-stop drinking, showing up, hungover.

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sound effect now let's get back to the episode i remember i would go i would go try to buy weed yeah did they have it then

i mean legal was it legal uh no no it definitely wasn't i remember i was i would try to buy it on the street every time i would just buy a bag of dirt

and I'd go home and smoke it.

I'd smoke it anyway.

Yeah.

I mean, I'll still will, but

I would just walk by the water smoking dirt,

having a beer.

It was nuts.

It was nuts.

And I like, I like didn't, I had kind of had no idea how to like make friends.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

I didn't think that I could like go into a bar and like mix it up.

I like had no,

I don't know.

I had I also maybe I felt like

super insecure and had like no ambition to do it.

I remember I did it feel weird that you're an American.

No.

Not really.

Okay.

Like because every everyone in Geneva was like it's Saudis, it's fucking French people.

It's German people.

It's Italian people.

It's French people.

It was all just like

nobody really spoke the same language.

It was like a big mess.

I don't know.

I never really like,

yeah, it never really really like sunk into me.

Do you know the car Audi?

Yeah.

Do you know the S series?

Yeah.

So that's like, it's owned by Saudis.

That's how they did it, they had the Audi S series.

It's because they took the S to put it at the end.

Really?

Yeah, sure.

Is that real?

Sure.

Could be.

I don't know anything about cars.

You can tell me anything about cars.

Yeah, I don't even know if they have an S series, to be honest.

They've got to have.

Everyone has an S series.

Yeah,

it's by Saudis.

Check out the connection between Audi S series and Saudi Arabia.

Yeah, Biden said he wasn't going to allow the S series to come here anymore.

I know Toyota and Saudi Arabia have a good relationship.

I don't know about that.

Checks out.

More or less checks out.

Yeah.

Audi Saudi Arabia, you get some deals.

Okay, so then

it was an expensive town.

I mean, Switzerland in general.

Yeah, they were paying me to work there.

How much did you make?

I think I was making like I think I was making a thousand francs a week.

That's a lot.

It was good.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

It was enough.

The apartment was like

for, you know, like it was like a business apartment.

Just for internet.

The company owned it.

Yeah, yeah.

But I was kind of the, I was the only one there for a while.

Did you like, what did you like do for fun after work or on weekends?

Did you, did you fuck any regular people?

No.

No.

In six months.

No.

That's

sad.

No, I didn't.

I like,

dude,

I went through some periods in my life of being totally asexual.

You know, where I just was like, I have no

desire to do this.

How long are these periods?

Yeah, they'll be like six-month chunks, a year-long chunks.

Yeah, where I'm just like,

I'm not doing anything with my life.

So how would I possibly fuck somebody?

You know what I mean?

I'm afraid I don't.

It's like,

I should spend my time trying to do something, achieve something, instead of.

Yeah.

The problem is the reasoning is it's not either or.

In my mind, sometimes it is.

In my mind, sometimes it is.

It's like

unless I'm taking steps to do something that's going to improve my life, then the idea of fucking somebody is insane.

And that was then when you're in Switzerland?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I remember I did, I just bought a guitar.

In Switzerland?

Yeah.

I went to a little guitar shop in Switzerland.

That was cool.

Bought a guitar, tried to learn a guitar.

Could you play?

Yeah, yeah.

I could play all right.

Could you bring a guitar in for him, please?

We have Billy Strings guitar.

We're going to let you play.

There's no way.

I would never disrespect.

We do have one.

Bring it in.

Let's see what you can still play.

Let's see what you remember.

Yeah, bring it in.

Thanks, Chad.

You got a pick?

Oh, shut up, dude.

Don't be a fucking bitch about it.

All right.

So, six months.

So, were you only supposed to be there for six months?

Do you try the food?

Do you do anything?

I remember I would go.

I would go.

I went to this big grocery store and I would get a Poulet mayonnaise, which is just like a chicken salad sandwich.

Okay.

That was my taste.

It was cooler, though.

Then I would go.

I remember there was the first time I had,

I guess it was like

Schwarma.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They took me to this place and I was like, this

was fucking unbelievable.

Dude, it's so good.

I would get the lamb and chicken mixed.

It was the only thing I knew how to say in French.

Lamb and chicken mixed?

How do you say it?

Yeah, it was like poulet et eigno.

See who play.

Can I tell you a quick story with red band?

And then I'll let you play.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm just going to be terrible.

No, you're going to rock it, dude.

Oh, hold on.

You're going to fucking

rock it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So Red Band came to New York, and I was always, we all got together with Rogan, and it was always this place, Mamoons.

You know, Mamoons.

Yeah.

Next to the cellar.

But I just knew, I think I went to the cellar once and it was like right next to, and I was like, you got to have this plate.

It's so good.

I would take like calves when I couldn't afford it over there just to eat it.

Took Red Band.

We got a full offal.

He goes, oh my God, so good.

Red Ben was like half his weight that he is now.

So he was like 400 back then.

And

he was so good.

Is he still hungry?

I'm like, yeah, let's get a schwarma this time.

And we got a schwarma.

He took one bite.

He goes, why the fuck didn't you give me this, the first one?

It's so good.

Yeah.

It's so much.

It's so much better.

Shred.

It was also the only place.

I remember I went to...

It's covered in denim, yeah.

It is.

This is not Billy Strings guitar.

Are you serious?

Yeah, he came into the studio.

He's fucking.

He gave you a denim guitar?

He gave the YMH.

Can you aim the mic kind of at it?

Pretend like you've been there before.

I don't know if it's in tune.

It's in tune?

You're calling Billy Strings a fucking bad guitarist?

I don't know how tune works.

I don't know.

Do you need a pick?

Pick would help.

Can you use my penis?

If I gave him my penis to hold, can you strum that?

Penis to hold?

Uh, what what could I play for you?

Uh,

I could play.

the stuff that I was playing at the time was like I would just play

fucking

That's pretty good

by yourself.

That's the saddest

podcast I've ever done

I mean you're learning legit rock songs to no one.

Yeah.

I'm trying to think of like...

I know this song.

Hold on.

Is that that song?

Yeah.

Who is that?

Who is that?

So Temple Pilot.

Oh, I know this period, too.

You're playing all the same period songs.

It's so dark.

You know what?

That's not Billy String's guitar anymore.

I don't want to just honor it with what you've been doing.

It's Santana's guitar.

Let me see if I know this one.

Let's epper.

Yeah.

Dude, you're good.

You should become a guitar comic.

Just change everything.

Yeah, just play real rock songs.

And you're like, no, I'm not good.

That's where the humor lies.

That was it.

Watching French TV.

I didn't understand.

Meeting nobody.

Did you take other trips through Europe?

Yeah, yeah.

I went to,

my brother came and visited me.

We went to Amsterdam and Barcelona.

Nice.

And

did the obvious shit in Amsterdam.

Did the obvious shit in Amsterdam.

Got, yeah, gots just fucking super high.

That was so fun.

I remember being really scared all the time.

We went to like the fucking

Van Gogh Museum, and I had just pockets full of weed.

And I wasn't used to it being, I started to like panic.

We were going through security.

I was like dumping it in the trash.

My brother was like, what the fuck are you doing?

I just bought this.

Dude, and then this is that, dude.

Then we went to

this is how they play guitar in Barcelona.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rodrigo and Gabrielle or whatever.

Yeah.

So then you would go to what?

Oh, that seems fun, too.

That Van Gogh Museum is pretty fucking cool.

It was great.

I think the top floor was like closed or something.

So we didn't.

And we were, you know.

Was that the ear floor?

It's just a collection of ears.

Yeah.

They got a, yeah.

They did a whole Vietnamese soldiers or like American soldiers back from Vietnam.

Yeah.

Showing their ear necklaces to go along with.

No, but I remember we went to,

my brother was supposed to book a hotel in Barcelona.

And he we were just stoned out of our minds.

He calls like a little hostel in Barcelona and goes, do you guys have any rooms available?

And they go, yeah.

And he goes, great.

And just hung up.

He didn't book a room.

Dude, so we go, we fly to Barcelona.

We get there at like 11 o'clock at night.

We realize we have no place to stay.

And it's the height of their summer festival.

Everyone's out in the street.

Everyone's going to be partying all night.

So we're just like, fuck it.

I guess we'll just get wasted and sleep on the beach.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm sick.

Yeah.

So we start getting fucked up.

We like put our backpacks on.

We're walking down whatever their like main drag is.

In Barcelona?

Yeah.

On the beach?

No.

It's on the way to the beach.

It's like that.

Las Ramblas.

Los Ramblas.

Probably.

Probably.

We're walking down that.

Some guy comes up to us and he's like,

he's like, you need a...

No, no.

He goes, yeah, you need a place to stay.

Oh, no.

He's trying to pimp you out.

Yeah, and we were like, yeah.

He starts walking us off that street through all these little different like piazzas, like through the down these different little alleys.

And we're like, this is fucking crazy.

But my brother and I are like, well, there's two of us.

There's one of him.

We'll be fine.

Yeah.

We come to this like just bombed out, like kind of abandoned building.

He walks us in there.

There's a two-person elevator and a spiral staircase.

And

the elevator's in the middle of the staircase.

My brother's like, you go in the elevator with him.

I'll walk around the outside.

And I was like,

all right.

That guy's like, that's what I would have asked for.

I also would have asked for that.

That's the younger, hotter one.

No.

And

we go up this.

We go.

It's buff Chris back then.

Yeah, yeah, this is lax Chris.

Yeah.

We get in there.

He like, he unlocks.

It's just a plywood door with a lock on it.

He unlocks that, opens it.

There's like a little kitchenette, and there's a bunch of like little rooms.

He comes to one plywood door that has like a, like a, like a toddler's purse fucking lock on it.

Unlocks it, opens the door.

There's a girl asleep in the bed.

And he goes, get up.

The girl's like, what?

He's like, yeah, yeah.

They're taking the room.

She gets up, leaves.

What?

Yeah.

And he's like,

he goes.

She just let it happen.

Go ahead.

Yeah.

She just got up and left.

That's why a woman can't be president.

Dude, the guy goes, the guy goes, it's 45 francs a night.

And my brother's like,

I got this.

Or Euros or whatever fucking Barcelona was.

And he goes, 20 Euros.

And he goes, 45.

My brother was like, deal.

But, dude, then we woke up.

We woke up the next morning.

We opened the blinds and we're looking out over this like monastery.

And it's like the most beautiful view of barcelona ever we were like right downtown it was fucking amazing wow yeah then we just kicked it there for a while it was it was awesome

that is the cool thing about europe is to be able to go anywhere else in europe yeah real fucking easy train or plane whatever there's also the nice part about being in switzerland it's like you're in the middle of everything yeah you can get to anywhere god

Yeah, it was a good idea.

Did you go to Zurich ever?

I only took the train.

I saw the train station.

The train station looks fucking sweet.

Yeah.

I didn't do anything else.

Was there anything you what?

What?

You wish you would have done now that you're looking back on it, now that you're an adult?

I mean, everything.

Yeah, I mean, there was like, look, the reason, all the reasons I wasn't doing stand-up were the same reasons I didn't make any friends in Geneva.

You know what I mean?

There was just like, I only knew, I kind of only knew

like how to make friends like organically.

You know what I mean?

Like you're in the same class.

Dining hall.

Like yeah dining hall.

Like I didn't know how to

do that.

Just go to a bar and then become friends with people.

I thought that would be annoying.

Who would do that?

I don't understand how anyone has ever done that.

Yeah, I don't know.

It's crazy to show up to a place and then like, I'll not just like, oh, go sweatpants.

Thanks, man.

Nice to meet you.

But like more than that, I'm like, that's nuts.

Yeah.

But I think I would do, I think I would do that now.

I think if I was like traveling by myself, I think I would like, or at least booze would help.

Yeah.

Booze would definitely help.

But I think that would be like, I don't know.

I think I would at least make the effort.

After doing stand-up and everything, I would at least know that like you can say hi to people.

Dude, I've been in Australia before that.

That's the end of the year.

I remember in Melbourne a few times ago.

And then it was like, all right, I'm going to go do my show.

And I'm going to go out to a bar.

I'm going to go, I'm going to find a couple cool bars, not like clubs, but like bars.

Yeah.

And I'm going to go out.

And then you get there.

You

get a little nervous, you look around, you order a beer, and then you're like,

yep, nope, not going to happen.

I don't know why I would expect to be hanging with, I'm by myself.

Yeah, no, like in a club or something.

But I would like, I would be, I would be smart enough to know now that it's like, go to a bar during like a soccer game.

Go to a bar during a soccer game.

You know, and just go like, hey.

What about the hometown, huh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They are rooting for the hometown team.

All right.

I want to smash the shit out of this.

I would, yeah, I would

think disrespect your fucking.

What do they call him?

Axe?

Yeah, my axe.

Is that really his?

What?

No.

It would change my opinion of him.

If this was Billy Strange's guitar?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you gave anyone a drink.

He's supposed to come in here and do a collaboration with Danny Brown at some point.

That would be amazing.

Yeah.

It's never, I don't know.

I'd like it to happen i don't know would you you don't think would you do anything to you when you were in where were you you were over in thailand you were meeting i do tons of stuff different yeah but in switzerland

i mean i went to montro

i've been to zurich but with my brother who lives there so we did whatever it's like cool no you go up to the mountains and stuff yeah it is pretty there the scenery

it's like it's gorgeous Yeah, there's so there's so much to do.

You can go like, you know, yeah.

My brother's always like, come in the summer.

Stop coming coming in the winter come in the summer it's what it's so wait where does your brother live zurich oh shit yeah yeah but then you go outside there and he goes it's all camping it's all just fun he got a camper van and redid it so it's like he brings his family out to like camps yeah dude and even like the kids love camps the old little villages and everything are fucking awesome

yeah i don't know what i yeah

there's times where i'm like i should have gone out and i didn't yeah for certain places like why did i just waste a day that was like another thing that that with stand-up, I like started really early on, which was like traveling.

Like, I didn't just stay in Philly and do the open mics.

I was like,

I went to like Chicago and just did open mics in Chicago until I like knew people in Chicago.

And then I could like go back there and do like the bar shows.

And then Chicago was such a big feeder system.

for all the other cities.

You know what I mean?

People coming from Minneapolis, Denver, like even people from Austin.

And Milwaukee.

They're all coming from there.

yeah and it was like with the heyday of Facebook so then I would like you know you just like slowly build this network of people where you could you could go to a city and be plugged into something and this like

what that's what was tough for me in Switzerland is like all the other guys that I worked with kind of had families and lives yeah you know and so it was like they're not gonna hang out with me on the weekend.

I would go to like, I did that a couple times.

I went to like adult dinner parties

with like people with co-workers and it's just like i don't it sucks yeah you can't there's nothing you can talk about with them there's nothing you can't connect in any way i i can't and they were like their

multilingual and shit and it's just like i'm just sitting there just like oh this is in switzerland yeah yeah

i don't even know how to eat you know i i always find when i the only team people i can like really meet is artists of some kind like like filmmakers in like i'm trying to think in greece we all went out it was like a filmmaker there and like a musician yeah and it was like okay you guys are at least cool it takes a minute because i think they're all normcore by their look yeah yeah and then eventually it was like oh okay you're kind of hip you're actually cooler than i am yeah and they'll try to like include you in a conversation you know what i mean they've i feel like the nice part about like musicians and people like that is they've been in a different in enough weird rooms that they like know to how to help somebody i was uh

Somebody was at the comedy store was there a couple weeks ago, and

Bert knew him, it's a black dude.

And

he was like, oh, hey, how you been?

I was like, cool.

I'm going to get a drink when it comes.

The guy's like, okay.

We're waiting for a drink.

I saw he had a cool shirt on.

It was like, I was like, what is that?

It was like pixelated.

It was like Silence of Atlanta.

It's like pixelated.

I was like, oh, that's cool.

He goes, yeah, I was on the road.

So I'm like, oh, performer of some kind, comedian, maybe.

He goes, I was on the road.

I needed an extra shirt to get me through.

And I was like, bro, I've been there.

Like, there's so many places where I'm like, hey, can I get a Comedy Club t-shirt?

Yes.

I don't have enough t-shirts to last me through and I don't want to do a laundry.

You know, or

a venue.

Yeah.

Also, just what a what a what a thoughtful, good answer on his part because he could have just been like, Yeah, I don't know, yeah, yeah, he's like, God, I got it on the road, I went through stuff, it's like, cool, yeah, I've got so many free shirts, yeah, and you're like, Yeah, give me that hoodie, it's cold.

I need a toque from the fucking Pittsburgh Improv.

Yeah, and he goes, Oh, yeah,

and I was like,

Oh, maybe he's just talking about buying stuff.

I'm like, and I was like, After he left, like, Bert, who was that?

He goes, Talib Quality.

I'm like, Oh,

I was thinking he was like on my level

of like like free shirt to get you through.

He's like, I'll just buy a real shirt.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, I like made the same mistake you made in that conversation.

Yeah.

Holy shit.

Where do you want to go now that you're like doing better?

Now that you got money.

I mean, comedy could take you places, or you could just go on your own.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Like, what calls you?

There's no right answer here.

It could be a lot of places.

Yeah,

I think

I'd like to go through Asia.

I had a buddy who, like, who got really into surfing.

That was, like,

and I think he used that to travel really well.

Excuse to go places.

Yes, you know.

Yeah.

He went to like Bali and like, Bali, I was about to say, yeah, yeah, and like surf there.

And like,

yeah, I feel like that, that's the tough part for me.

It's like, I don't, I, yeah, I guess I still don't know how to like

do things besides drink.

You know what I mean?

But you can go drink places.

That's a good way to meet.

Yeah.

If you're into bars, which you are,

bar culture is like there's different ones in different places.

Well, I don't know.

I'd like to be due.

I'd always made it.

I went to Honduras once when I was in high school, and it really made me sad that I didn't know how to play music and I couldn't, I wasn't good at soccer.

What do you mean?

I've just seen you play guitar.

You're a master.

I started learning guitar after that.

Oh, wow.

And you couldn't play soccer.

Yeah, it was like one of those things where there was, I couldn't speak Spanish.

But if I had been good at soccer, we would have connected on this thing that would have made

somehow we would have been able to speak to one another.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think there's like something that I wanted.

That I always want in that when I'm traveling.

That it's like, and we don't just have to be at a bar.

It's like if you could, if you both had like a shared skill.

I met a guy on a bus ferry in Indonesia.

Yeah.

And it was just like, we got off to go get something to eat.

It was like, whatever, a rest up.

And then, and then that's when people were like,

what are you doing here, Weika?

You know, kind of that.

And I was like, they're like, do you watch soccer?

Who's your team?

It was like, Tottenham.

He goes, oh, Harry Kane.

He's so good.

I'm like, oh, he's the best.

It's the only guy I knew on Tottenham.

Not even there.

I'm barely a fan, but it's like.

Perfect.

Okay, connecting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You need like.

The World Cup was when I was in Guatemala.

The World Cup was on, so everybody was like, come watch, come watch.

Yeah.

Like, you know, every

electronic store would have it on.

And it's like, you look, they're like, come on in.

It's fine.

Yeah.

Bring booth.

That would be.

I mean, that's what made the world.

When I was in Germany, the World Cup thing was fun because it was like this big event that we're all doing.

And I was like with, you know, being with someone else that's traveling is hugely helpful.

It's not as lonely.

Yeah.

Being the lonely guy at the bar.

You got to meet a group.

That's why hostels are really good.

Once you like, okay, the first day at a hostel is like, oh, tough, and they're like, okay, I've made a couple because everyone's so open at a hostel.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Everyone's like,

do you want to come?

Yeah.

You're like, okay.

Yeah.

That's it.

I mean, the one time that I stayed in the hostel by myself, I went on that big trip to that castle.

It was like, this fucking ruled.

Those guys wound up coming to Geneva for a night and I hung out with them.

That was fun.

That's fun too to see your travel buddies.

Yeah, yeah.

You know what it reminded me of when you're getting that morning baguette, would you get the croissant?

The chocolate croissant.

Oh, yeah.

It was fucking unbelievable.

But you could probably get one of those here and be good, but it doesn't have the same, it doesn't hit the same way, right?

Yeah.

Somebody told me this, like, we were walking in, like,

McCarran Park or whatever, Prospect Park.

Yeah.

And she was like, all right, it was like the wide, like, you know, concrete area with a path.

She's like, all right, close your eyes and walk for like 10 or 15 steps and imagine you're in Switzerland.

And just like close your eyes and imagine Switzerland.

It was like fall times.

Okay.

And then, like, and then like after 15 steps, like, you open your eyes and you're like, whoa, you just see it like new.

Yeah.

As if somebody from out of town would come here.

And it's like,

then, like, how do I recreate that every time?

Like, still be wondrous.

I still get that with New York.

I still get that, like, even with LA.

New York food.

LA too.

Yeah, I like, you know, I feel like people always say nasty things about LA.

Every time I go there, I'm like, I can't.

L.A.

rules.

I get the same sort of like romantic, just,

I can't believe I'm here feeling.

See the Hollywood sign once in a while.

Yeah, yeah.

Whoa, there it is.

And the sun, like, you know, it's like, it's, I, I feel like people have to feel this way about New York.

I mean, I, like, grew up going to New York, so it's, it's, it's different, but it's like every time I'm like in L.A.

and there's a sunset, I'm like, this is how it looks in the movies.

Yeah.

I'm in the movies.

I have that like corny of a New York has that if you're walking through like Tompkins Square Park or Washington Square Park and someone will be playing like a saxophone

and it's nighttime and you're just like what?

I'm in a movie.

I know.

I'm in a fucking remember we went to Washington Square Park?

We were walking through probably from the stand.

Yes.

And it was COVID and it was wild.

It was when COVID was breaking.

Yeah, and so everyone's partying.

Everyone's out.

You still can't be inside officially too much, but outside was cooking.

Yes.

And it was a really like

i it says gay it sounds like it's like a new york moment like this is a historic new york moment everyone being in this park and going nuts and we were just like you and i were just like this is amazing we're some fucking fat loser and he was like i don't like this let's go let's go let's go to the comedy cellar like shut up fat loser fucking beat it

He was getting annoyed at us for being

so annoyed.

We were like, no, we got to walk to the middle of the dancing and see what's going on.

Because they were around someone.

Yeah.

And we were like, no, we got to get in there and figure it out who's doing that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He goes, that's shocks.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

He throws every, he throws like your best qualities back.

Okay.

Oh, everything's so interesting.

You fucking.

Yeah, it is.

Can I love something?

Remember how super queer we saw?

Yes.

There's a couple of them.

It was like that young guy was like in the process of being turned out.

Yeah, yeah.

It was like, yeah, first, yeah.

It's like they were at NYU his first year.

Yeah, and it was the first time they could be outside.

Yeah, and it was like an older guy was just like, you're my bitch now.

Yes.

And the younger guy was like, I'm loving this.

It was like, this is punk life.

Yeah.

It was like kind of almost, yeah, it was nice to see the young kid embrace it.

Yeah.

He's wearing like barely shorts.

Yeah, I'm not going to be his bitch forever.

It's just a fun thing.

This is just a spring.

Screw up, you guys.

Spring 2020.

It was spring 2020, dude.

What a wild time that was.

It was summer right then.

Yeah.

Summer 23rd, which is the best summer of all time in New York.

Yes.

Walktails, remember that?

No.

To-go drinks?

Oh, yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just

everyone's sort of breaking the law.

But the cops are like, we're not even

doing it.

Yeah, yeah.

That was a really, yeah, just wonderful

suits, just like asleep, drunk on a park bench.

Dude, I got to be honest.

It's like, I feel like people have probably said this, but I miss the pandemic a little bit.

God, it ruled.

It was so fun.

All those fucking dorks dying.

Yeah.

That was my favorite part.

All those fat losers dying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cull the hurt a little bit.

Oh, I've asthma.

Beat it.

Yeah.

Good.

We didn't want you to talk about it.

Talk to God for me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I feel like that should be like on this, like a census schedule.

We would call DeRosa and be like, what are you doing?

I'm like, I don't know, nothing.

He's like, come drink.

Like, it's 12.03.

All right.

Oh, dude,

you could get heavy.

I remember I like, I started playing video games

online with my friend.

It was something I never did.

I was like, fuck it.

I'll buy a computer.

I'll hang out on Discord and just talk to my buddies.

It was great.

Yeah.

Nothing to do.

No one's getting ahead, so you're not following.

Yes.

There was none of that social pressure.

I hate these fucking winners in comedy.

They're like go-getters and doing stuff.

Like, you're making us all feel bad.

Just get drunk and don't get ahead.

That's why I'm saying it is like, it's a healthy thing to do.

It's a little bit like the summer festival.

You know what I mean?

It's like close down your actual bar.

Yeah.

Set up a tent.

Make it on a grill there.

Have a little bar.

It's like that kind of vibe where it's like, we're all agreeing to have a snow day.

Yeah.

Remember snow days?

Snow days are great.

You watch the TV.

Yeah.

Shouldn't you be studying?

No, the test is going to get canceled.

Let's just keep watching this TV.

Dude, that was best.

You could spend this time studying.

That was the best.

And all the anger you'd feel at the fucking meteorologist.

But it only begun.

No, it needs to be seven.

It needs to be seven.

Just lie.

Just lie.

They'll cancel it ahead of time.

If it doesn't happen, we'll live with it.

What would you tell anybody going to Switzerland to like do or not do?

You spent six months there.

You did so little.

It's kind of interesting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Did you fuck any more hookers?

No.

Just that one.

Just that one.

Not even that one.

And it was kind of under duress.

Would you just push it in?

No, not even, not even.

It was, it was just like, uh, she was like blowing me for a while with a condom on and getting like

just mad.

Take a chance.

And I couldn't explain.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then I was just like, well, I was trying to communicate.

It's like, let's both act like we did it.

It can't be the first time.

It can't be the first time.

Yeah, when we walk out and I have to see this guy.

Let's act like he's a good one.

Yes.

Yeah.

Just go, my pussy hurts.

Yes.

I'll see.

Dude.

Yeah, that was bad.

I don't know.

If I was going there, I would say, like,

fucking get out of town and go hiking.

That was one thing that I did do.

I like, I went on a hike up on some mountain that was like on the border of

France and Switzerland, and it was fucking, yeah, it was great.

Wow.

Yeah.

Was that woodsy, right?

No, it was really like grassy.

But you'd like, you know, you like walk by.

It's like, it's all of these like really like swiss kind of things is that the alps yeah it was yeah yeah it was like you know there's cows with bells on them just roaming the side of a mountain

you ever see those like um like kind of like scream it's like this thing actually it's like this like

like uh gopher or something like that they're out there and they kind of like scream i know that's america but they're kind of like

And it's like far away.

It sounds like a crazy bird.

I went hiking in Austria in the Alps there.

And they they would have those sometimes on those grassy.

You're reminding me of these grassy.

It's not like that.

And they would just sit up there and scream.

They'd pop out of their holes and make a noise.

I don't know.

Yeah, go looking for those.

I have no fucking idea.

It's the hills are alive with the sound of music kind of shit.

Yeah.

They have like the big horn.

Oh, I mean, the terrain when you're hiking.

Yeah, yeah.

It's absolutely gorgeous.

As far as the city goes, it's like just go there in the summer.

Find out when Feta Genev is and go do that.

Yeah.

And you can walk just along the water, it's beautiful.

Go to the Bandipat Key, go swimming.

That's another way I would like cover up that I'm not doing anything.

It was like I would just go

roll a cigarette on a bench by the water and try to like eavesdrop on people, but act like I'm doing something, yeah, and then smoke.

And then, like, I guess I have to go, or they'll start looking at me like I'm weird.

Yes, dude.

A cigarette,

yeah,

cigarettes, they're huge,

they're huge social lubricants.

Because if I did that instead of smoking my dirt yeah if i went down there if i like if i if i knew how to roll so i didn't know at the time if i knew how to roll cigarettes i would just be i could do that someone eventually would come by and ask you for one sure yeah then you're talking and then you're talking and then you're

rolly then you gotta like you can't just get it and go you have to sit there and roll it yeah yeah you have a paper and it's contemplative you look competent in something

yeah yeah

you can learn if you do it well you people you know people will be asking you to do it again do that yeah it's so you see these chicks in france you could just do it like that as they're talking and walking and just like

yeah just one hand yeah yeah it's sexy

but i yeah so nowhere's really calling you

asia you want to go to asia i'd go to asia i'd i'd want to see like uh would you go somewhere with a chick yeah you would yeah

Yeah, that'd be nice.

Where would you take Hong Kong rules?

Hong Kong rules.

By the way, drinking culture in Hong Kong.

Yeah.

They have this street called

Long Kwaifong, maybe.

It's really hilly.

And if it rains and you try to cross the road, you're just slipping and sliding down for like a half a mile.

And there's a bunch of bars with outdoor seating.

Yeah.

But there's also 7-Elevens that just sell beer.

Long Kwai Fong.

Yeah.

And you can just get 7-Eleven beers and stand right next to the people in outdoor.

in the outdoor places.

And they're trying to shut it down.

But it's such a fucking rabid drinking scene.

I would be fascinated to see like,

that's a hill.

You go right down there in the torrential rain.

I would be fascinated to see the infrastructure.

In Hong Kong?

Hong Kong, in Japan.

Hong Kong is like Asia with British influence.

So it's like Rugswell.

Yeah, that also.

Also, a lot of shitting on the streets.

That's also fascinating to me.

You know what I mean, chat?

Yeah,

it's pretty modern.

Anyway.

All right, buddy.

There's also some like, there's some like river cities in China that are like fucking wild.

What do you mean river cities?

I saw like one that was almost like a city that snaked along a river.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

What the fuck is that?

What a place.

Yianjin.

Water towns?

The fuck are those?

Wow, like skyscrapers.

It should be uninhabited where those things are.

Instead, they're skyscrapers.

I want to to go to this place.

Where the fuck is this?

Where's the best city in the world?

And you can take a bridge across.

Where the fuck is Yanjin?

God, I hope it's real.

I hope we're not.

Yeah, all right, good.

I mean.

So, like, how far.

It's the middle of it.

Wow, that's the middle of fucking China.

There's nothing around there.

I have one thing marked.

Shichuan Scenic Spot.

Interesting.

okay it's near Sichuan

that would be

I feel like I'm I'm more of a I you know like I want to see more of the American West

yeah yeah I there's also some national parks in China that are pretty fucking I bet look at there's cities on the right and then in the middle and left there's like no dots yeah what's there nobody nobody or is it just bears and shit it's just where people like training wrestling against bears i think so i think it is it's like yeah, they have like the hawks that they hunt with.

It's like a little Mongolian kind of.

Yeah, I bet that these long hike.

There's this long hike I did in the Austria-Italy border.

It's like eight days.

You can do like 30 days.

It's kind of like Appalachian Trail or Pacific Coast Hike.

Yeah.

And then I did one in Myanmar.

It's like three days.

It's just to make your own trek.

Sometimes do a six.

Did you ever take a train through the Alps?

Yeah, a little bit.

That would be only like an afternoon.

That would be fucking dope.

Yeah, and just staring out.

Yes.

Yeah.

And And I just, yeah.

It would be so beautiful to see.

And a long train ride.

I really want to do a long

train ride.

Yeah.

Oh, you mean like a multi-day one?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sleep like an old school.

You leave your area, go to the dining cart, come back, get out at a certain point, like live here overnight.

Yes.

Like a 1920s.

Yeah, that would be cool.

What's the one in Russia?

Trans-Siberian.

Trans-Siberian Railroad.

Yeah.

I don't know where it goes, but whatever.

Yeah, that'd be cool.

But all the, like, if you're in Germany and you're going into Austria, when I do like European gigs, it's like if a train is only like six, seven hours, I'm like, that's the way I'm going.

Yes.

You know?

Yeah.

I don't want to go on a plane.

You're going to really, because you'll have to really like absorb it.

Yeah.

And you know, you're on just like a steady.

Yeah, you're going.

Moscow to Vladis Vostok.

And you can take your drugs with you, too.

Trains meeting you can take your drugs with you.

Yeah.

You don't have to throw them out.

All right, O'Connor.

Well, all right, man.

Yeah, this was fun.

Yeah, thanks for having me.

Yeah, that other, it's like so pretty.

And you get out the window and you're like, it's so fucking pretty.

Yeah.

I would like to see that too.

There's a couple like little

look at that.

That's so cool.

And you know, I'm going to be on the wrong side of that one.

You're like, what?

It's nothing.

You're like, look out the other way, idiot.

Dude, you ever see the guy.

I got deep into this over the pandemic.

The guy Shy.

He's a YouTube channel, Shy.

No.

He just would just jump on trains from uh

it's s-h-e-i-y i think

yeah

i think that's his name

yeah and he just travels he just jumps yes wow and he's like runs from cops

it's unbelievable oh dude we got to get this guy in the pocket dude he's

there were like three hour long videos and it's him like trying to find food and like keep his batteries charged and hiding from the cops.

Wow.

And he wouldn't really, he'd be like, I think that's the train I need to get on.

But he wouldn't really know.

Yeah.

Journey across Siberia.

Serbia.

Damn.

He's just jumping trains.

Yeah.

So he's just covering up his fucking gay face.

Yeah.

I mean, weird life, though, to be talking to a camera all the time instead of somebody.

Yeah.

All right, let's wrap this up.

Cool.

Go watch season two of

tires right now.

You have a lot of things.

Oh, I think it's coming out.

Yeah, yeah, a little bit.

Yeah, yeah.

When is it coming out?

I'll save it for that.

I think it comes out in May.

Nice.

All right.

That's what really this is for.

Yeah.

Anyway, O'Connor, are you going to do do a special anytime soon?

Uh, yeah, I'd like to.

Yeah, we'll see.

Do it.

We'll see.

Yeah.

Got some have a goal.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I do.

I need a goal.

Yeah.

All right, buddy.

I need to get back into it.

Dude, thank you so much for having me.

Yeah, thanks for coming.

That's fun.

I hope I made Switzerland kind of.

No, this is one of the saddest episodes I've ever done.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, it was kind of a sad, it was a sad trip.

Yeah, what a waste, really.

Yeah.

I had one with, it hasn't come out yet, but

it was about a Laotian just got dengue fever in Laos and had to spend it all in a hospital.

It's far more exciting than this.

Yeah.

Yeah, because this is your near-death.

Danny Polishuk.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is just,

dude, I just sat.

Did you come out of your depression at the end of it?

No.

You went right back into it.

No, I got super fat.

I was eating a lot of fondue too.

So, dude, I left.

I weighed like 210 pounds.

It was bad.

And then I went home.

What are you weighing at?

Like 205?

Now, like 165, 170.

I'm putting on some hellbeats.

Yeah.

It's the beard.

Damn, that sucks.

How did you get over your depression?

Graduated college and then just stuck out as a fat fuck.

No, I like.

I like how you've turned your life around.

I got really.

Once I got back to the States.

Yeah, how was it coming back?

That was dark.

I was just like at home.

I was like, I think I was like working at the YWCA for a while.

But then I,

yeah, then I got, then I just got in really good shape and I started like getting, I was like, I'm going to get back into playing lacrosse and I'm going to be like, I'm going to like do this year the right way.

Yeah, your final year.

Yeah, yeah.

And I did.

It was great.

But

then after that,

I got sad again.

You got to see a therapist, bro.

You've never fucking faced any of this stuff.

When you get drunk at a party and you're wrong, you will not let that sit.

You're like, keep looking up other ways to search for this where I'm right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, I'm trying to figure out ways around it.

I got to get into some...

Yeah.

Ways around therapy.

I heard if you like technology.

I got to ignore therapy for as long as possible.

There's a way to do it.

Yeah.

All right, O'Connor.

All right, man.

Thank you so much.

Well, that was the episode, everybody.

Thank you very much, Chris O'Connor, for coming in.

Don't forget to check him out on the road in St.

Louis in July, Cap City in Austin, also in July.

And it'll be back in New York, the end of July.

Love Caddys.

Get tickets at achrisoconner.com.

Check him out on tires and watch his special.

Sorry, and watch his podcast, Stuff Island.

He does with Tommy Pope.

I've been on there.

Start with that episode and then move on.

They do it in Austin now.

It's actually a pretty fun podcast.

And if you go, tell them, you know, you heard about it from Ari.

Please subscribe to this podcast wherever you're watching watching or listening.

It was edited by Alan Caffey, produced by the Your Mom's House Network.

Bunch of mostly pedophiles coming together to put aside their urges to have sex with children to produce great podcasts.

Sorry, guys.

I shouldn't have spilled the beans.

But the fact that they're doing this means they're not fucking kids.

So all moments where they go to put out these podcasts is not fucking, not kid fucking time, which is like really helping society, to be honest.

I don't think that's a tough stance.

Fuck less kids.

This is one of the saddest trips we've ever had on this show.

This Swiss trip that he did was sad.

It was not adventurous.

It was just like sad.

It makes I do want to go and see these castles and stuff, but damn, I felt bad.

I really feel bad for the guest.

And we have one coming with Danny Polashuk, Polishuk, where he's in a Laotian fucking hospital the whole time.

Didn't feel as bad for him as I feel for Chris O'Connor for this experience.

Just sexless and really just

sad.

Guys, I will be in Anchorage, Alaska in June on the 18th and Charlestown, West Virginia on July 12th.

Tickets at RishaFear.com.

Get merch, subscribe, wherever you're listening.

And

visit Switzerland.

It's great in the summertime.

It really is.

Rolling hills and just gorgeous.

And like Zurich, like right in the backdrops, it's just like pretty fucking awesome.

I don't think I have anything left to say.

I think that was it.

Next week, Jim Norton talking about Brazil.

It's a lot of hooker talk.

So please subscribe and click the little blink and you can hear a ton of hooker talk.

And we're bringing Patrice Neil back from the dead to talk about

the hookers he's fucked.

Thank you very much for tuning in.

Until next week, everybody.

I'll see you later.

Ciao.

Martha listens to her favorite band all the time.

In the car.

Jim.

Even sleeping.

So when they finally went on tour, Martha bundled her flight and hotel on Expedia to see them live.

She saved so much, she got a seat close enough to actually see and hear them.

Sort of.

You were made to scream from the front row.

We were made to quietly save you more.

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