Greece w/ Stavros Halkias | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

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so smooth.

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These are great.

Yeah.

I mean, I definitely need them, but like, you steal the idea.

Yeah.

I mean, I literally can't stop you if you want to steal them.

You could.

It would be a struggle.

That would be interesting.

If we really had to fight, it would be an interesting match.

I think you would gas faster than me.

You're definitely stronger than I am.

Yes.

But you might have to be a little bit more.

You got the range.

You could outlast me.

It's a small room that would suit you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like you're, you know, your stuff.

As you're running out, I'm grabbing onto a leg.

And you're like, oh, fuck.

And you're like, oh,

right.

I have the harder task.

I have to take these.

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Unscrew them.

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Maybe I get away with one.

Yeah, maybe I get away with one.

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Just one busted up one on your podcast.

Courtesy of Ari Shafir.

Where you been and where you going?

This is Ari's Travel Show.

yeah.

We're gonna talk about travel today.

It's UB Trippin', yeah.

Hi, everybody.

Welcome to UB Trippin'.

I'm Ari Shafur, your host.

I've been to a bunch of countries, and I try to, I like listening to people tell their travel tales.

And every week we go to a different spot with a different guest.

This is the only podcast that is,

what's the word?

Sponsored?

No.

Supported?

When it's like the official something, what is that?

Not sponsored.

Not sponsored.

Of what?

What are you trying to say?

It's like the official

something company of the New York Rangers.

Presenting.

The presenting.

Endorsed.

Endorsed.

Endorsed.

It's the only podcast endorsed by the vegans of America.

Is it?

Yeah, that's right, buddy.

Wow.

Stop Rosaleos.

One of Maryland's finest.

Thank you, thank you.

Yeah, we were talking about, you got to be

top five Maryland.

True, Maryland, there's, it's it, yeah, you expanded it.

If we're talking Baltimore, I'm feeling right now honestly I'm feeling like you can't really fuck with me in Baltimore yeah I feel like the king of Baltimore right now but Maryland's a diverse state with much you know bro it was the wire and then nothing till you yeah a lot yeah but yeah we got John Waters we got the wire

Michael Phillips obviously oh yeah and uh most decorated Olympian of all time who's the gymnast from Silver Spring so you you worry about Silver Spring bro I don't give a fuck about the DC suburbs I'm from Baltimore

I'm from the gutter.

It really is the gutter.

It really is the gutter.

I saw it change so much.

Inner harbor and shit.

No, it's not.

It's legitimately nice now.

It was great.

It was like, you can't go there.

Dude, I bought a house in Baltimore.

Like Patterson Park, when I was growing up, you was like a stabby style park.

It was a don't go there dark park.

And now it's like beautiful.

The houses on there are like nice and redone.

And

yeah,

I bought a place in like nearby where I grew up, but like near the water, near the park.

It's legitimately beautiful.

And it's like, you know, it's crazy that I feel, I go to Baltimore and like feel recharged now, which is, which is fucking hilarious to think about and to say.

Never would I have assumed, oh, yeah.

I went to my special in DC and Southeast and my mom was like, don't go out at night.

I'm like, bro, it's different.

There's beer gardens.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't know.

It was literally the place where you were like, you don't have to stop at red lights because they'll get you.

I remember, yeah, I remember Southeast.

I mean, Southeast is nice now.

I remember it gentrifying as I was doing open mics there.

I remember it, you know, kind of getting.

Did they have the Nats already?

They did.

That turned it around.

Yeah, that helped a lot.

Yeah.

I think the baseball is like, we can go in there, but

we'll kick them out.

We'll brutalize it.

Go, Giuliani.

Go Giuliani on the bottom.

Giuliani and Buster.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where do you want to go today, obviously?

I guess we got to go to Greece, man.

I haven't been many other places.

I've taken shorter trips to Japan and Korea, but those were work trips.

What are you doing trips?

I did very low-level USO shows

as a feature.

I went with a buddy of mine.

That's great.

Great comic, Bent Washburn, who's actually...

Oh, yeah.

He'd be an interesting guy to get on here because he lives in Europe.

Yeah, yeah.

You know him?

I know of him.

He's really very funny.

He was.

I think his wife is in the Navy or something.

So she was stationed in D.C.

for a while, and I got to know him there as I was coming up.

And he took me with him to Japan and Korea on these USO shows, and they were really fun.

This is the summer before I moved to New York, so 10 years ago at this point.

Wow.

And that was a cool experience.

That's next time.

Next time.

Yeah, this time.

Just a lifetime of travel in Greece.

You are.

So I went to DR

and Ian Laura was my travel guy.

Yes.

And even when I was there, I was like, hey,

how's this?

How's this?

And he was like, you were my Greece travel guy.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You went to, where'd you go uh antipaxo antiparos yeah antiparo yeah yeah that's it and

yeah which was cool because everyone i talked to there was like oh yeah that's where the local locals go yeah yeah my like i have family that has a house over there and like um yeah it's it's great i actually i'm going next year i haven't been i that's the i was gonna go Last year, I went for my cousin's wedding in Thassa, which is northern Greece.

It's a big island up there.

But yeah, I've been going to Greece my whole life.

My family's from Athens.

And so I just figured it'd be fun to kind of like

I can give you the perspective of like literally the first time I went to Greece, I was nine months old and getting baptized.

So that was my first trip.

You went to Greece to get baptized?

To get baptized.

Man, it didn't take, huh?

That's true, man.

They got to double check that holy, that fucking holy water.

Yeah.

They really went to Greece to make one of the most heathenish motherfuckers possible.

Tell me about jizzed in that holy water.

That's the only thing.

I never even thought of that.

I am truly the least God-believing motherfucker in the world who lives the most gluttonous lifestyle.

Wow, it really did take.

Sorry.

Sorry, God.

Sorry.

It was at the Ayosandonis church where my dad grew up.

But yeah.

So yeah, all these different versions of Greece.

I've experienced the country as like literally an infant.

The first one I remember, I was in like, I want to say third grade, and then middle school, and then high school age and then I went with a buddy as broke college students and we we did a layover in Amsterdam and a layover in Paris so we had like 36 hours in these cool cities on the way in and the way out and we crashed with my family and I went on with a girlfriend at the time which was one of the most disastrous trips our relationship didn't survive the trip and then I went last time for my cousin's wedding and had like a life realization on mushrooms on the beach, and it's like Greece has been very important to me and has like really shaped a lot of shit for me for sure.

Wow, yeah, a lot, a lot of meat on the bone.

Okay, yeah.

So, what do you, how do we do this?

Should we do like

each type of trip?

You can lead me, you could ask me, I could, we could take it kind of chronological if you'd like.

Okay, I mean, we'll go off and come back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because, like,

so I can tell you the first trip, right?

When you're in second and Greece, the other thing to remember for me and my family is that Greece was like

this, as a child, as a a little kid, it's like this paradise my father's been describing to me, right?

And my entire life, from there, from there, my family came here in the 80s.

And in fact, they came here in 82 with the goal of, my mom's side of the family had moved in the 70s, right?

And so

she came

right after college, but she hated it.

She was like a young woman who was like, As soon as I'm about to be an adult, you're going to move me away from paradise.

Away from like all my friends and all this shit that I know.

And so she quickly moved back

on her own, lived in Athens as a single woman with her friend, met my dad.

Her best friend was married to a guy who was friends with my dad, literally met through them.

And they had a nice little romance, got married,

had a cute little, you know, you see the pictures and you're like, oh my God, my parents were happy.

They were like, it's crazy to say.

My dad had hair.

He was happy.

They were like, they're like dancing.

They're fucking smoking cigarette.

My mom was a chain smoker.

She quit cold turkey the the day she found out she was pregnant with me.

She literally made a Greek coffee, smoked a cigarette, and was like, I'm done.

Hasn't touched a cigarette the rest of her life.

Crazy.

She still want it?

I think she wanted kids so bad.

No, but I mean, like, even now.

But I think it like reprogrammed her fucking brain, dude.

Oh, wow.

That's a good question.

I don't think she does, though.

And so

they came.

And the story was they came to, they were going to visit my mom's parents who had the house I grew up in, they had split it up into an apartment upstairs, and my grandparents lived on the bottom two floors.

They made a little apartment.

My mom and dad could live there for a year, save up money, move back to Greece.

So they came in 1982 with the plan of being in America for a year, two years tops.

And they have been here ever since.

My dad claims he was tricked.

You know what I mean?

So it's like, just he claims that it was like, you know, he, well, he just, he never wanted to leave, whatever.

The thing they always, he leaves out is that they basically stayed because they had problem having problems having kids.

And in vitro fertilization, me and my brother were like, no,

the doctors had not gotten to IVF yet.

No, no, no.

They were like, you know,

you're not beating off in a cup.

Is it?

How poor is it there?

It is pretty bad.

Like, that's the thing.

You don't think of it as like third world,

but it ain't first world.

You know what I mean?

It is somewhere in the middle.

It's good now.

It's much better now.

Now they have internet and shit like that.

But that's part of it, right?

So I remember always, yeah, second world country.

Second world country is a country that is economically developing, but not yet as proper as property.

It makes sense.

That's what it feels like.

But that's part of it, though, right?

Because we've grown up in America, and my dad would tell me, he's like, you're going to fucking love Greece.

And he would tell me every, every,

every like,

every year my dad's like, growing up, he's like, we're probably going to move to Greece.

Really?

So, like, I thought as a kid until like seventh grade that I was moving to Greece.

So, and before we visited, he built it up.

He's like,

your grandfather, your grandmother, your uncles, your aunt, you're going to love it so much.

It's where I grew up.

And me and my brothers are fucking jacked to go to Greece.

We're like, hell fucking.

We hyped it.

We're scared of the airplane.

So they like,

I was scared to fly.

I'm a little kid.

But Pokemon had just come out, and I'm on my GameCube or my Game Boy, and I was like, I got eight straight hours to play.

My parents never let me play video games that long, and they're like, just to calm them down on the plane,

play fucking Pokemon.

So I'm like, this fucking rules.

I'm in the best mood, right?

We get to Greece, which is.

Before the middle seat was a bad thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was me and my brothers.

We're eating all the fucking snacks.

It was fucking, it was honestly so great.

And then we get to Greece.

And, you know, you think of Greece like this beautiful place.

And we go to Athens, where my dad's from.

He's kind of from like a shitty neighborhood in Athens.

His family house is there.

We're fucking fat, spoiled American kids.

We get there, no AC.

Like, we just kind of.

Our grandparents are these weird old people are like,

we like our aunt and our cousins, but it's like, they're a lot.

They're so, they're like super affectionate and fucking with you and they're like, you know, I was fat.

I was the fattest one and Greek people don't, you're not allowed to be fat.

They're fucking roasting me about how fucking fat I am.

Is that part of Greek culture?

Oh, dude.

Shitting on people?

Absolutely.

Well, my family anyway.

I used to think it was all of Greek culture and then I met some of my friends' parents or

aunts and uncles and they were just polite and I was like

Oh, it's me.

Oh, I'm trash.

I'm trash in America.

I'm trash in Greece.

I love when you think you made a realization about a group or a country and you're like, no, no, no, that's just the one I met.

Yeah, that's how Greek, you know, that's how, that's Greek culture.

They'll call you slurs

while meeting you.

Hi, everybody.

Thanks for tuning in.

I just got to break in real quick to let you know that Stavros Halkias,

there's another Halkias in Greece, a comedian.

There's a lot of them.

Pretty common name in Greece.

But he was a comedian.

I said somebody.

I was like, I know Stavros Halki.

Is that a coming?

I think he's a TV comic.

Different.

I know that guy.

I know that actor.

I don't know him personally.

Also, a comedian.

He'll be performing at the Lyric in Baltimore is Homecoming

Thanksgiving weekend, but he's also got a movie coming out

called Let's Start a Cult.

It's in theaters on October 25th.

Yes, sir.

Everybody's got to go fucking see that.

Stop, you're one of the fucking funniest in the world.

Thanks, dude.

Appreciate it.

Yeah, I legitimately fucking die laughing when I see you on stage.

You've also turned from this young kid into a like a, especially when your mustache is good, a real dirtbag Greek look.

I've grown into myself, man.

This is the look for the next 20 years of my life at least.

For myself, I got nothing.

I got an Adrian Appalucci special November 12th that I produced on Netflix.

And guys, just subscribe to this podcast.

Great episodes every week with fucking hilarious comics and mainstream, normal, non-funny people, too.

I love it.

But,

yeah, I'm excited for this fucking movie.

I'm going to go see it.

I'm getting fucked up on weed and stuff.

We're doing a premiere in New York.

Where?

So, I think somewhere, I'll tell you.

Angelica?

Village East.

Village East.

That's the Angelica Angelica.

Yeah, that's the spot.

Bro, that's the old Yiddish theater.

It's on the 25th, actually.

Really?

Yeah, the premiere day.

We're doing an LA premiere the week before, and then we're doing on the 25th come out.

100%.

I love it.

100%.

Sick.

We might even sell some tickets, so folks, come out.

All right, yeah.

Hey, guys, I got to break in really quick, tell you about Stabros.

Yeah, not everybody does this, but I like to promote my guest.

And Stabros is a great comic.

Stavi's one of the most hilarious guys on the planet.

He's got a great sense of humor, relaxed, sexual.

He's got a sexual energy to him.

When you see him, you just exude sex.

It almost makes you drip shit out of your cock.

You know, just like drippy, drip, drip right out of your cock.

Just seeing him, you know, in all his sexual glory.

He's like,

you just want to like, how come you're not oiled up all the time?

You're like, you should be more oiled with that mustache.

You like, get a little oil in that, get all over his body and just rub your belly on his belly.

Who wouldn't want that?

Hopefully he'll be doing that at the premiere of his movie, Let's Start Our Cult, on October 25th.

Also, I've got dates coming.

October 16th will be the pre-sale for the farewell tour.

I might name it that, unless you have a better name for the tour.

It's going to be my only tour dates until 2027.

Here's what's going on sale on that October 16th

day: Austin, Tahoe, Pittsburgh, Providence, Salt Lake City, Brea, Nashville, New Jersey, Tampa, Denver.

Let's say a best of week.

Schaumburg, Atlanta, Jacksonville, San Jose, Fort Lauderdale, Seattle, Vancouver, Edmonton, Calgary, and possibly, oh no, yes, and Portland, possibly Dallas, San Antonio, Spokane, Boise.

Also, myself and Bobby Kelly are doing a show, one show only at 5 p.m.

at the Miami Improv on November, whatever that Sunday is, second or third.

Tickets are available.

Will not be a second show added.

And that's it.

Guys, let's get back to the episode.

Greece from the man himself, the Greek

something, Greek assassin.

God, he's so fucking hot.

I'm not even into dudes like that, but just those ass cheeks.

And I don't want to put my cock in it, but I want to put my face in it.

Right in the fucking...

Oh,

oh, I got to get back to the episode.

I'm going to take care of myself.

Anyway, we got there, and it was, I liked it.

It was interesting.

It was fun.

I did, it was cool to meet your family, but me and my family are staying in this unair-conditioned, shitty little, you know, apartment

in Athens.

One bathroom between us.

If you shit, you had to fucking bring a bucket to make sure the water went down because the fucking pipes weren't strong enough.

It was fucking weird, dude.

You had to turn the water on if you wanted to shower ahead of time.

What do you mean?

Turn the hot on?

Either the hot.

I think the water to the bathtub had its own thing.

Maybe it was the hot.

It was just, it was just a...

Jesus.

We were not rich.

We were were poor in Baltimore, but it was a clear step down in quality of life.

And we spent all the time in Athens, and it was like, we're just sitting in unair-conditioned rooms playing FIFA with our cousin.

Oh, what a waste.

And it was like, yeah, it was kind of like, but at the same time, we liked it.

It was fun because we just got to play video games, but it wasn't like.

It wasn't this magical place my dad was talking about.

You know, and then, and it was fine enough.

That first trip was fine enough.

We ended up going to some, you know, some like beaches places.

We visited my mom's island in Thaso, which, so we took like a road trip all the way up to Thaso.

But that was really stressful because we're in a fucking car with my whole family and my dad has fucking anger problems.

And,

you know, it's just uncomfortable, dude.

And it's like, oh, that's high up.

It's high up.

It's, it's like.

It's a giant island, though.

It's huge.

It's a great island.

But I just remember getting back from that first trip and being like, this is cool, but I spent it in a city that reminds me of Baltimore.

The ocean was fun.

It was

getting on the beach was cool.

All that stuff was cool.

But then

the fallout of it was interesting because my dad was,

you could tell he saved up a lot of money because it was not cheap to fly your whole fucking family out there.

And he spent a lot of money.

He took time off work.

And when he would get back from, when we get back from Greece, my dad was in the worst mood.

He could not, he was just like, like, he would set him off at the fucking, you know,

because it was over.

It was just like this whole thing he was looking forward to didn't change his life.

He also, they were kind of recruiting trips for like, you know, for he wanted us to love Greece.

And we didn't.

It was birthright, but without, without getting pussy from, you know, sex-trafficked Ukrainians.

You know what I mean?

Like, that's the difference.

They're like, I do so well here.

It's weird.

They tell the soldiers to like fuck some of the girls.

Yeah.

They'll want to let them.

And so, yeah, and it just didn't break exactly how I wanted.

I also remember my mom,

she just had to like do chores in Greece.

Like, it wasn't a vacation for her either.

She's looking after our whole family.

And it was like, the vibes were just so fucked up after those first, that first trip.

And then Second trip, kind of the same thing.

We're older.

We're a little, but it's still pretty similar.

In fact, the more you grow up, you're like, oh man, you're just feeling your family dynamics and you're just seeing everything that's fucking wrong with your family play out.

My dad would do this thing where, you know, I guess we would complain a little bit and we're like, this kind of, we don't just want to go to Athens.

We want to go do other shit.

And my aunt and uncle would always, they always went, they, my uncle.

And my uncle did well.

He was like a successful guy.

He was, he worked in like the Greek bank and pre, pre the economic crisis, he was doing pretty well

They would always go on these European trips and I think my dad felt a he felt like the desire to

portray himself as like really successful in America like oh I'm I have my own business like I to the brother to the to his sister but brother-in-law right and and they couldn't check on him They couldn't check if he's wrong.

Not really.

Not back then.

There's no Facebook.

There's no nothing.

There's just what he says.

And so

it got to the point where we were taking out loans to go to fucking vacation.

To try to live this fake life.

To fake that you're successful.

So

the later trips, we're going to these beautiful places, right?

Like, I mean,

if you go to like,

I mean,

we went to Thaso.

Yeah, I mean, look at this fucking island.

We would go there.

That's my grandmother's island.

And we took these great trips to, there was

a place called Qilocastro, which was, they got a place there.

how the fuck do you spell that um x

yeah x i l o

there you go boom

which was just like it was like kind of close by it was just like we would we would just like that my family had like a it was like within a couple hours of athens we would just drive over there and that was like the bullshit one right that's like the not that great place to go visit this is everything that I picture at all these and actually that's for for uh for your podcast you've made it seem like yeah like this you're eating

yes and by and like i said this is just okay

this is the one that's a couple hours from athens like hey fuck it let's get in the car and go right so we would go there we took like these road trips all across greece um and those were beautiful trips and by the way the parthenon i was like a i was a mythology nerd so when i was a little kid going when the when the parthenon museum opened so beautiful I had such a great time.

And so we're seeing all this great stuff.

And I'm, you know, and i'm i'm connecting with my family it's cool to like it's cool to um i meet my you know my godparents who i didn't really know that we would talk on the phone but i didn't know them they were great and you're having these great experiences

But then you're getting home and your dad is fucking pissed.

He's in a fucking hole financially.

He's kind of taking it out on you.

You see the guilt.

And then as a little kid, I meet my grandparents.

And I mean, I have jokes about him in the first special, but where it's like you see them bicker and when you're like when you're nine years old it's funny it's like ah these old people and then you're 14 and you're like

they fucking hate each other and this is what they have like real problems like you drink too much yeah and like like they really hate each other and they're just at each other's throats and then you're like whoa this is what my dad's parents were like like this is why he's like this and you're just like and then they and then you realize your dad guilts you and then you see how his parents treat him when he leaves to America.

They made him like cry.

They're like, I'm going to die.

You're not going to be here.

And I'm like, what the fuck?

And you see my aunt and uncle who deal with these old people every day.

So they're fed up and they're just fucking like rude to them.

But

like covering all their bases, like taking them to the doctor and being really caring and loving.

And you're like, this is so fucked up psychologically.

And you're like, this is the weird bullshit that my dad came from.

all this shit it's so fucked up you see your cousin's weird psychology of like they're at each other's throats they're you know brother and sister they don't and you i feel like a weird they don't really like me like my one cousin doesn't like me that much and the other one we really like each other but we can't really connect and that's sad why english english just like we like you really love someone but you just I don't know, a little bit of the language barrier, but also just like we would hang out and it just feels kind of stressful a little bit.

He's also more of a party guy than I was.

I'm trying to impress my older cousin, but I'm not this kind of, I'm not going out and getting drunk as a fucking 14-year-old.

You know what I mean?

Like, I'm not, like, he tried to sneak out my like 12-year-old brother to a brothel and like luckily got caught.

Take it down, notch.

Take it down.

Your heart's in the right place, but you're doing the wrong.

Yeah.

It's crazy.

And I just remember being like, you're just,

it was, it's crazy.

He's awesome.

He's a good time.

And when I caught him, when I was in that zone, it was really fun.

But even then, it was like when I went back as a college guy, he was working on these party islands.

Even that, it's like, I'm trying to get pretty fucked up and try and get some pussy.

But this guy's like out till 7 a.m.

And it's like, dude, you always take it a little too far.

Those lifer guys for a pussy, it's just like...

It seems cool.

And then by the end of the night, every time.

And it's like, this is every day for you.

Your life is, how do we get laid?

They change.

They're kind of gross.

But he would get it done.

Yeah, I'd tell you that much.

He would bring these tourists back to his tent.

He didn't even have an indoor room.

He slept in a tent all summer.

But that's, we're jumping ahead a little bit.

So these first early trips were really cool.

And I met my mom's best friend who was like

this really interesting woman who was like the link between you saw in this woman what she was the closest relative to what my parents were like as 20 year olds where she wasn't mixed up in all this family stuff and

it was just cool.

She was like this very artsy woman who was like a songwriter and an actress and she was on great TV and shit.

She was awesome and

an artist and she was married to like a her first husband died tragically.

But her second husband was a very cool guy and her daughter was great.

My mom's goddaughter and she was just a really sweet person.

And you saw, you would see the cool parts of both your family and the culture you're from because I love all the history and I love the beaches are incredible.

And the

food is unbelievable.

And everything about it's great, but you're just so reminded of how fucked up your family is.

They were the wrong crew.

Yeah, yeah.

And it was like, I don't know, it was like this weird thing that

I would always come back kind of depressed.

Damn.

And it was, and, and,

and to the point where there was one summer where my dad wanted to go.

And we went for the Olympics.

The last one, the last kind of like childhood trip was the Olympics.

That's another thing.

We're experiencing once-in-a-lifetime things.

And I'm so grateful for those trips.

And, and, you know, being at the Olympics was incredible, right?

To the point where I was in England this year, could have gone to Paris, but I was like, you know what?

You already did it.

I've been to the Olympics.

I don't feel

in Athens, right?

I don't feel the need to do it.

And so there were these incredible trips on the one hand.

And on the other hand, they were like, it was the start of like being like, what?

Something is so fucked up in my family.

Something is so fundamentally fundamentally fucked up in my family.

But it didn't sour you in the whole place.

No, not at all.

It could have easily.

It did briefly, though, right?

Because we go in 04 and I'm, you know, 04, I'm like in middle school or whatever.

Or maybe I just started high school.

I'm trying to, I graduated.

Yeah, if I graduated high school in 07, I was already in high school.

My dad went back.

He wanted to go back.

in like 09 maybe

and I was playing football so it must have been my junior year actually then so this was this was

I played high school football so we went in 04 my dad wanted to go back in 06.

Where were you?

I was a nose tackle.

Nice.

Yeah it was fun.

I loved it.

It was great.

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it works now let's get back to the episode um in fact a greek guy is the only reason i played high school football because

so we had our greek so our coach was this greek guy who um

uh he got the original coach quit because we bullied him too much

Football, you bullied that football.

Football and soccer.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I played soccer freshman and sophomore year.

And freshman year, we bullied this guy so much.

And he came back sophomore year.

And we were like, he was like, he tried to be like, all right, fellas, it's going to be different.

And we just immediately let him have it.

This grown man got bullied by these fucking.

You could tell his wife the whole summer's like, you got to lay down a law.

Okay.

Then they'll respect you.

And he's like, okay, I'm going to do it.

And then, like, wrong game, no game plan.

So we bullied this guy so much, he quits like two weeks in.

And our school scrambles to hire a guy.

They hire a guy, this Greek dude, who coached a team with his dad.

He was, unbeknownst to everyone but me,

he used to be a deacon at my church, and he was fired because he tried to rob the church.

Him and

a guy from the neighborhood tried to do an inside job and steal money from the church, right?

And I guess because they were scrambling to.

He had already had that?

It had already happened.

He was newly defrocked.

He was like a deacon.

He was training to be an orthodox.

Let's let him lead these children.

So I get my hunch.

I think what happened is because they were like scrambling to hire someone, they're like, it's the JV soccer coach.

Who cares?

What you're going to do?

Yeah, this is some, and he was kind of a dorky-looking guy.

Yeah.

Fuck it.

You want to do it?

Great.

If you don't do it, we have to dissolve the program.

So

it was cool because I had this dirt on him that nobody else had.

You knew about it.

I knew about it.

But I wasn't going to snitch.

But, dude, let me tell you, I got plenty of playing time.

He kept me happy.

Anyway, this guy was such a dork.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Don't snitch.

Don't snitch unless it

benefits you.

So

he was also kind of a dork who wanted to relate to us, and we liked him more than the other guy.

But because he wanted to

make friends with the kid,

he got the kid

not in a gay way, not in like a

I'm one of the guys kind of way.

It's wrong for a different reason.

It's not, yeah, not right to give a chub, no matter what your motives are.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wasn't a,

but still, not I love that.

I wasn't trying to fuck him.

I was like,

don't say that yet.

I mean, yeah, we weren't even thinking that until you brought it up.

Were you trying to fuck him?

Like, no, I just just said I wasn't.

Why would I say it if I was?

And so they dissolved the program.

And then after he gave the kid.

You got Miami'd?

Yeah, they dissolved this JV program.

So they just let whoever.

Because my parents were against, because they're Greek, they were against barbaric American football.

But because they dissolved it, they felt bad.

They were like, our JV football team sucked.

And they were like, hey, you guys already have eligibility.

Whoever wants to can join this fucking team.

We need a kicker.

We'll take.

And so I played football only because of that.

I ended up being kind of good at it.

So shout out to, I won't say his name.

He's already disgraced enough, but shout out to him.

And so

that in 08,

it was a big turning point because my mom was just, she hated going to Greece with my, because she always had to, it ended up her, she wasn't on vacation.

She was just like, and my dad's family is passive-aggressive and shitty to her and like, you know, all this classic in-law stuff.

And she was got tired of fucking doing doing laundry with no laundry machine.

She got tired of fucking hanging out for grown men.

They're everywhere.

Yeah.

All those lines are everywhere.

Yeah, yeah.

And so me and my mom stayed in America and my dad and my brothers went.

And that was kind of symbolic about how things were going in the family.

It was like my brothers hadn't really broken free.

And I was like, I'm not.

The excuse was I have football.

I can't.

I have training camp.

I can't do it.

But I didn't want to fucking go.

And so.

It's crazy that you are the Greek guy now from this beginning.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I know, I know.

Well, but it was always very important to me.

And that's what was really.

So I, I was just kind of like, I need to do my own thing, but I did, I still loved and missed Greece, right?

I just like, I couldn't be around my fucking family.

I just, like, whatever.

It was just like too much.

And then I kind of was like, you know, I couldn't really afford.

We were broke.

I'm a college student or I'm in high school.

I don't want to go with, I don't want to go in this family context because it was fucking depressing.

And then when I was in college, maybe

my senior year of college, maybe it was like,

maybe it was right after I graduated even.

So it was a long time.

It went from like

08 to,

you know, maybe,

I don't know, 2014, some shit like that.

13.

Didn't go.

Didn't go at all.

It was maybe the year before I moved to New York.

Me and my buddy on some broke college student shit just fucking said, he was Greek, I was Greek.

So we're like, we can stay with each other's families.

So

we don't have enough money to do anything.

Let's just fucking

go where our family is from.

By the way, it's so freeing to be that broke and that young.

Yeah.

Because you can just do that.

Yeah, but you got a hotel can I stand on the floor?

Yeah.

And it's not even like...

No hotel.

You don't feel like you're imposing?

Guest rooms, right?

Yeah.

Fucking sleeping on, sleeping in a bed.

And that's how, like, Greece is one of those countries that's so homophobic.

They never considered that we might be gay.

Although, in hindsight, we seemed so gay.

My mom, when I drove cross-country out to L.A.

to start my career,

my friend was coming from Miami, from high school, whatever.

He was down in Miami, and we're going to go like this, and then go the whole way.

And it was right after Matthew Shepard.

And my mom was like, Ari, be careful.

And I'm like, why?

She goes, people might think, I'm like, but we're not gay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Two guys can be friends.

Like, that's not unheard of.

That's how how repressed your fucking religious family is.

Like, just friendship is sexual.

Something's up.

No, we really seemed gay.

I mean, we even, like, like I said,

we had a layover at the Eiffel in Paris.

Like, we, we, we stayed in Amsterdam and Paris and

sucked each other off.

We, we went to the Eiffel Tower and kissed in front of it and took a picture.

Dude, the jacket.

Paris made us gay.

It's such a fun gay.

Yeah.

Wearing a fucking, wearing a fucking little,

their little berets and shit.

They got one there.

Yeah, yeah.

But that trip, when it was like, all right, we're going to Athens.

His family, both of our families from Athens, will see everybody.

We'll have the food in Greece.

And the food is really like so incredible.

It's so.

No matter where you go, every restaurant in Greece, every traditional Greek restaurant, it's like, it's the same menu.

And every restaurant is...

At worst, a B-minus, and at best, the best meal you've ever had in your life.

Better than like the best fucking three michelin star especially there the fish is so fresh so fresh yeah they bring you if you go every beach has a restaurant or two on the beach and you ask them what's fresh yeah they'll tell you it's crazy and you're eating a fucking piece of fish that was swimming that morning it's like they have a menu but like that doesn't really apply you can't oh we didn't get any today you can order like yeah some of these places you go there is no menu and she's like like there's a great place this place in lavrio there's a great restaurant where me and my boy George would go.

And the lady comes out and she's like, I have zucchini today.

I have pork, but no chicken.

I have octopus.

I have, you know, sardines.

And,

and it's just like, and that, that place, Laura, Lavrio was just, it's not, again, not that nice.

It's just a couple hours outside of Athens.

Yeah.

And so, um,

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They have like these nice rocky beaches.

There's some great...

The Temple of Poseidon is over there, which is pretty cool.

Oh, that's cool.

Yeah, there's so many cool temples.

The gods fucking are alive there.

Yeah, yeah.

You really see the hand of all.

It's awesome.

And you're swimming on a beach, and there's this awesome Acropolis-looking thing, and it's just, you know, beautiful.

But anyway,

so me and George did this trip where it's like we go to Athens, we fuck around with my drunk, awesome cousin, we get fucked up, he takes us to these little hole in the wall, like gets these great sandwiches, like these like, just

uh, just like, you know, he takes in specific little places that you can't, you know, you can't find anywhere.

My aunt and uncle, that's the best thing to do.

They're obese.

Yeah, it's not, it's not stuff you're supposed to do.

Let me just tell you the actual cool thing.

Yeah.

Like, when you took me to a Greek place in Queens, that's not on a travel guide.

No, no, no.

It's just like, my Greek friend knows a good sauce.

Yes, yes, yes.

And the same thing.

My aunt and uncle lived in Athens and they're fat, they're gluttons.

They have the best, the best.

They take you to restaurants that are are just in little neighborhoods, and they do like a kebab that's just like, you know,

a little fucking meatloaf stick.

And it's just in the middle of a residential neighborhood in Athens.

You pass it 100% of the time.

Insanely good.

Or they take you to a fucking souvlaki place that my, my aunt has been to since she was 20 working as a fucking secretary in that business district in Athens.

And it's just like simple.

No one makes it like him.

I've never seen anybody use tomatoes, homemade tomato sauce on their souvlaki.

And he just,

they're so good.

I think it's called fanasis.

And

which one's souvlaki?

This?

Yeah, it's just the kebab.

Oh, okay.

The grilled.

But he just, his shit was fucking good.

And they just take you to these incredible places.

And so we do that in Athens.

Yeah.

And it's just me and my boy chilling, right?

Like we see my family, but it's not that crazy.

I connect even more with my mom's friend that I was telling you about, this lady Eleni.

And I'm talking to her and her husband, and they're like, she's an actor, he's a director, and I had already been doing comedy at this point, and I feel like real connection to them.

I'm like, wait, I'm like these people.

Like, these

other, and I love my family.

Because they go from just being your aunt or whatever to like, oh, actually, you're cool.

I'm talking to them as human beings for the first time, right?

And like, and this is because I'm there by myself.

And me and George sometimes would split off, and I would be there completely by myself.

That's case, right?

And he'd be with his family, I'd be with my family, or I would just like, and even when I was with my family, I'm just, I'm sleeping there, but I'm leaving and walking around and just, I'm going to a museum, you know, not, not just the Parthenon Museum, but there's, um, there's a, um,

uh, the National Portrait Gallery in Athens that my family was never into that kind of, you know, like we never went when we were there, but I, I was into that kind of stuff.

Like when I'm on the road, I love checking out a fucking museum or a park.

And I did.

Is there a portrait museum up here?

I think they have one here.

It's called,

fuck, I forget.

It's in an old house that somebody's like, all right, I'll donate it to

art.

It's all portraits.

Well, this one is fucking frick.

Oh, the frick.

Yes, yes, yes.

But yeah,

and I'm just doing the shit.

And then we go, I visit my godfather.

Me and my friend George visit my godfather on Noxa, a beautiful island.

It's in the same chain as Santorini and,

you know, Mikono and like

Paro and Andiparo that I told you about.

But it's just the biggest island.

And he's from there, right?

Like he, his family's from there.

They moved to Athens and then he moved back.

And dude, this guy's living like his retired life was he

retired and

he was a beekeeper and he made his own bee and he made his own honey.

Wow.

Some of the best honey I've ever had in my fucking life.

And him and his boys, one guy made moonshine and one guy raised rabbits and they're literally bartering.

And I'm going there, dude, and I'm fucking

bartering rabbits for honey and moonshine.

And no shit, dude.

One of the best, one of the times I most connected to my family and my dad was we're in Noxos.

And this is my dad's best friend growing up, right?

They're boys.

And

me and my...

me and my buddy George are like dressing to go out and like, you know, go to some bars, whatever, go into, and Noxos is a beautiful island with so much shit to do.

I love this shit where it's like, it's just the cliffs of the Clayton and Holton's right into the water.

So beautiful, dude.

And so there was one night, and we had a lot of events.

Me and George had a lot of, it's a big enough island where we rented a shit.

Do you see this chick?

Yeah, I actually fucked her.

Oh, nice, bro.

Hell yeah.

Both our dicks in her ass at the same time.

No, no use for the pussy or mouth.

Real Greek style.

Hey, wedding for wedding, noxos.

That's noxious.

We can't have it now.

We can't be able to do that.

Two in the bun.

Two dogs in the bun.

Two in the bun.

Shut up, hon.

But yeah, we rented a fucking smart car.

We drove around like these beautiful old villages.

There's, you know, and it was like a, dude, this smart car had no, it had just a motor and no electricity.

So we have a boom box and there's no, there's no, there's no headlights.

And so we were chilling.

We drive across the.

The dangers you'll put up up with in a foreign country.

And we were going to do this hike and we're like, this is taking so long.

We might not be able to get back because we're on the top of a hilly.

So we fucking, we're running back.

We're fucking getting home with no,

in the darkness.

It was legit.

So scary, dude.

But great adventures.

And then.

you know, fun shit that you just love doing.

And then we have a night where me and George are like, you know, getting dressed up, gonna go to, go out at some bars.

I mean, we didn't, We almost got pussy once on this trip.

I mean, I think.

From what?

Just meeting?

Like, we went to a, well, on the next island.

So we went to meet my friend.

How do you decide what to, it's just by relatives?

Well, that's the nice thing.

There was no decision.

It was like, where can somebody put us up?

And so we went to Knoxau and then.

Well, like, I've worn out my welcome there.

Yeah, just a couple days here.

And then we went to EO, which is in that party, college kid party island.

Okay.

And where, that's where I was saying my cousin, he was a fucking bartender at a rock and roll club, right?

And he's just, that motherfucker is staying out till 7 a.m.

every night.

It's one of the most

IOS, literally.

Oh, there we go.

Yeah, there you go.

You're staying out till what?

Yeah, he's making us stay out till like 7 a.m.

But let me finish the Noxo thing.

We'll talk about EO.

Noxo, me and George George are getting ready to go out.

We would just smoke.

We would roll up our own cigs because we're

European and like

fucking drink a couple beers, walk around.

It was nice, though.

Just walk around at nighttime, chill out.

You know,

my

godfather's there, and he's like, where are you guys going?

He's like, and he just puts a fucking jug of moonshine down and he's like, come on, have a, don't, before you go, have a drink with me.

And he's like, I got this.

He's literally like, my godmother's made like this delicious like rabbit stew or like stewed rabbit with like um you know i don't remember what the kind of pasta is and some like greek fucking villager cheese and it's like she's like have a little bite to eat drink a couple this we dude we end up at that table with him with him my fucking godfather the funniest guy huge fucked up thumb that he sliced off uh you know in like a carpentry accident uh just the horniest guy in the world just like constantly they're They're in like such a traditional marriage.

They had an open relationship by accident.

They're so conservative that she's like, my husband can do what he wants.

Like that, that level of freedom.

That level of like freedom on that level.

And she's like, yeah.

What a strong move to put a bottle on the table.

He's like, where are you going?

Boom.

Boom.

And it's not a shot.

It's like, here's all this.

We got plenty.

But he did slow play it.

He was like, come on, take a shot.

And dude, sounds like Shane Gillis.

And then he starts

100%.

He had a little, he does.

He drinks like Shane.

I'll tell you that.

I'm going to tell my impression of Shane Gillis, who's just have one.

Yeah.

Dude, legitimately telling him, doing a sober year has actually saved my life filming, you know, just even doing anything.

You can't be attires and nothing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I'm sober for another, at least till February.

So we're drinking, and then he's telling me these stories about him and my dad

on that island, like, you know, trying to get tourists and like just being young men.

He's telling me these hilarious stories about they're working in Athens together and my dad, my dad like won some bet by eating like, like father like son, he like ate like 15 souvlakia in like one sitting and you know, they, they, how they would like fuck with their friends and just like little pranks and like, and then he, and we're getting drunk as fuck.

He's FaceTiming my dad and they're shitting on each other the way me and my friends, you know, each other.

He's like, what's up, you fucking pussy?

He's like, he's like, you're fucking gay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just like shitting on each other.

And it was like, again,

it just humanized my parents and my family.

And I saw, I got that version of my father from my godfather.

And I got the young version of my mom from her friend, Eleni.

And I'm just like, I'm connecting to them.

And I'm feeling like.

By myself, I'm feeling this connection that I never felt before.

You know what I mean?

And I was like, oh, I love Greece.

I just, my family was the problem.

Like, close proximity to them was the problem.

Or just, not even the problem, but like, it overpowered how great Greece was.

It really helped me to make my own connection and be like, I have to seek this stuff out.

Not because my dad was forcing me to.

Something too is just chance of, like, you happen to go to that.

He's like, I can, I can house with that.

But then it's like, but that's always available to me, right?

Like, my God, you feel like.

But then you found that joy.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah, for sure.

And it also just made me, and then you can just, and then you can, and then when you're kind of free of all that stuff, you can enjoy it.

It's the most beautiful fucking place in the world.

It really is.

And anywhere you go, like, I, I literally stopped.

I was going to go meet my, this latest trip.

I was going to go meet my aunt at that place, Kilo Castro, a couple hours outside of, um, Athens.

Something came up and she was like, um, her friend, like one of her friends got sick or something.

She's like, I got to take her to the high.

Like, I can't.

And I was in a car with my buddy and his, his fiancé had cut.

It was like a big group trip, the last trip we took.

And I was like, ah, fuck, we can't really go there.

And we just pulled over to a rest stop.

And then it said, like, beach.

We got gas.

We got like goodies, which is their shitty, like, McDonald's or whatever.

And it had signs for a beach.

And I'm like, you guys want to just see this?

And it's literally a roadside beach on the side of the highway.

And it was like, it was for Greece, C minus.

If that beach existed in New York,

houses on it would cost $10 million.

And it was kind of bullshit.

It was like a rocky beach.

The people there were trash.

Trash.

Water crystal fucking clear right next to the fucking highway.

And it was just like, that's what Greece is, man.

It's like the shittiest beaches would, you would stab people to fucking have

access to.

I went to DR, to whatever their capital is.

Fucking weed.

And I went to Boca Chica Beach, their beach.

And everybody there, when I did a show there, they were like, what?

That's the trashiest beach.

I'm like, you know how much better it is than Far Rockaway?

Yeah, right.

So much better.

Far Rockaway.

Disgusting.

And then Hawaii reminded me of that, too.

I was getting a ride to somewhere, and we just pulled over and fucked on this, like right along the highway.

And it's like, it's a Hawaiian beach.

You fucked a taxi driver.

You fucked us.

Hey, man.

That's not very, that's not very island style of you fucking my ass.

Out Out the door.

Yeah.

Come on.

Same mahalo.

Let's go.

Wait.

Wow, that's so cool.

Because it is crystal clear everywhere.

Dude, so beautiful.

And so, anyway, it just like, I don't know, man, I felt like that trip almost like exercised these demons.

And how long was this?

This was

probably 11 or 12 years ago.

Okay.

And so ever since then, I've been going back.

Before I know you, yeah.

As much as, yeah, before we, before we knew each other.

And then I would go back, you know, as often as I could.

I was pretty broke for a while there.

So I would be like,

I couldn't go that often, but I would go with my buddy, you know.

And it was just like, I was starting to feel this incredible connection to, first of all, how ancient it is, Athens, when you go to the Parthenon and you go, there's a marketplace there when I stay at Acke that's now just, it's mostly touristy, kind of like

chintzy bullshit, right outside of,

right, right under the Acropolis.

So like down where it starts to become a thing all the way around, like

the sidewalk all the way around?

Yeah, exactly, exactly.

That kind of like marketplace.

Yeah, you get some great sunflower seeds there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You get like little, little, little bullshit, like

little trinkets.

Exactly, yeah, yeah.

And it's not like there's any secret, like, and there's a couple okay restaurants, and there's some cafes, and they're all fine.

They're a little more overpriced and a little less quality than a random one.

But the energy where you go there and you're like, this has been a marketplace, an active marketplace

for thousands of years.

Yeah.

Some fucking guy 3,000 years ago was out here looking for a snack like I'm looking for a snack.

Some cocksucker in a toga and sandals was like

the stone.

Yeah.

It's not like a repaved street over and over again.

Like parts of it that they're exact same stones.

Those roads in New York and some of the West Village where it's still like cobblestone thing.

You're like, oh, wow, this is what it was.

I'm forced to do that.

Some fucking Dutch cocksucker was on these cobblestones.

Yeah, you get that there where it's like.

But it's thousands of years, man.

And it was like, I would just have these really powerful moments of, you just feel sort of like how insignificant you are, but also how that's

beautiful almost.

Where it's like, yeah,

you're the same as a guy 4,000 years ago.

You're the same as a guy born halfway across the country.

You just feel like in how almost meaningless you are and how like it turns.

And this is just a picture of the

animal.

What is that?

Animism is like the, it's like it's the oldest religion.

It's like that everything has

like a soul,

trees for sure, but also like stones.

So if you're at the Western Wall or whatever, you're like, oh, Jesus, like

here.

Interesting.

Yeah, yeah.

Like you're, it saw everything.

Like imagine a pyramid looking out and just the generations going by.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's the Parthenon.

It's all there.

It's just like compared to this remembers your great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather.

Right.

Yeah, and I guess I thought of it more as just like, I was using it as like a marker for all how much has passed, like almost thinking of like, yeah, just how many, what, how much this thing is fucking just randomly experienced.

And I don't know, it just like, it had me feeling,

it was just like, I felt like this powerful connection.

And then you add on to it the fact that now I don't feel this family guilt to like this place.

And as a human being, just as myself, I love it.

I have this connection to it.

I want to, like, I want to get to a point where I'm living in Greece a third of the year, right?

Wow.

For a quarter of the year, three months out of the year, I I want to be in Greece.

Because when people like me go,

it's Greece.

It's cool.

There's not that connection.

Yeah, exactly.

I mean, even without that connection, I think people should go.

I really believe it's like the best place you can go.

I think it really is for what it offers.

There's a reason it's like a country.

All we have is tourism and it's still keeping the country afloat.

Can I give a couple tips and you do too?

While we're doing Athens, it's shifting.

This is the Parthenon.

I think I stayed here for a couple of days.

Past this

park

all here.

It is so fucking cool.

It's anarchists.

It's an anti-time.

And the people there are so artsy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, everyone I met is like a writer and a musician and an actor.

And they've recently banned Airbnbs in that neighborhood because they were just taking over.

They were making it too expensive for those kinds of people.

But yes, downtown Athens is actually fucking cool.

The restaurants, the outdoor.

You ever go to an outdoor movie?

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Bro.

It's the best.

Bro.

You get a beer, they put an ashtray by you.

Corn smoke, whatever you want.

I watched Dunkirk high as shit off a fucking

weed vape, fucking eating oregano chips and then you can see the sky.

A cattle walk past the screen.

Just a stray cat.

You're like, smell the fucking

sea air and all this shit.

I saw a French movie with Greek subtitles, and I didn't know any of it, but it was some film noir, and I'm like, I can follow along now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's awesome, dude.

I mean, it's just.

And then any restaurant, any restaurant,

any traditional Greek restaurant, it will be like i said

absolute worst c plus absolute and that's the worst one in the whole country yeah doubt it most of them are solid b pluses yeah and like i said some of them will be the best meal you've ever had in your life they came by and just like wrote their menu on the table while we're there like here's what we have today

yeah we went back to that place i don't remember what it was but it was like damn and it's just a it's a the culture and the it's a culture of chilling it's a culture of have a no one's rushing you out of any restaurants.

No one rushes you out of a coffee shop.

Have a good time.

Hang out.

Yeah.

It's that, and I feel that very intrinsically in myself.

My biggest skill, I think, is hanging out.

Well, so I actually think that.

So, this is you.

The first time I went to your apartment,

it was like, what are you doing?

I'll grill some lamb.

Yeah.

And you're like, oh, this guy gets it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Grill up some lamb, man.

You had an egg, I think.

Totally, totally.

And it was like, I had a little grill.

Oh, yeah, it was a grill.

It wasn't an egg.

Too small for an egg.

Yeah, you're like, sick.

On a balcony as wide as this.

Oh, yeah.

And you're like, oh, it's that.

That's a grill is.

Yeah, you got to have a grill, in my opinion.

Yeah.

What are your favorite foods there?

Yeah, my standard.

If I could give people

a standard order, you got to get the horiyatiki, which is the Greek, what we think of as a Greek salad.

It's called the villager salad.

A horiatiki.

And you get that.

You get a jajiki or great dips, you know, like there's jaziki there's uh the eggplant dip and the garlic dip the gar yeah

what scordalia

jadziki is the the classic yogurt based garlic dip but scordala is like all all garlic yeah all garlic all garlic and a little potato and uh tara mosalata which is the fish fish row the caviar dip that's fucking awesome

we got great

go with the freshest bread fresh bread yeah fresh bread, some pita if they got it.

Yeah, pizza.

That's what I mean.

They don't have it all the time.

Pita is more for like the grills, grill places.

Oh, interesting.

Regular places just have like nice, fresh country bread.

You get a horiyatigi.

You get whatever dips you want.

They got eggplants.

Zadigi, you got to get.

You get a fry, and all the fries are hand-cut, fucked-up shapes.

It's some old Greek lady has just peeled them.

I like that.

What are the two cheeses?

Saganaki.

Saganaki is the one that's

on fire.

Yeah, that's a good thing to get.

I love that.

That's a great one to get.

I love that.

Hallumi is the other one.

Hallumi is grilled.

Yep.

It's that saganaki.

Man, and you got to eat it right away.

There's no like, let me just, as soon as it comes, get a break.

It's like a super fresh, it's the best version of like a mozzarella stick.

Yes.

It's like the absolute platonic idea.

Lemon over it.

Lemon.

Awesome.

And then, look, you get a lamb chop or

there's something called kodosuvi.

If you eat pork, kodosuvli is kind of like almost if you like gyro meat, it's almost like the instead of it's like slow-roasted instead of like sheets of it.

Yeah, so it's like the most tender souvlaki you've ever had in your life.

Um, it's just like yeah, a huge, a huge spit of this succulent fucking pork.

Wow, even yeah, that's more like it.

Yeah, but see what they have, man.

You, you should go, when you go to Greece, ask, because each restaurant will have a specialty, and some of them will be like, you got to try our code du souvli, or they'll be like, We have we have the freshest fish, and just ask what they have fresh, or you know what I mean.

And, like, it's a different cultural way to do it.

It's instead of like, what are you known for?

It's like when I was in

Croatia, on an island of Croatia, and it was the same vibe, yeah, and they were like eating, moving into town to get somebody, and they're like, We got lionfish today, we just caught one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, bring it then, yeah, exactly.

Like, yeah,

and if I had to go standard, if I had to go, like, just what I try to see if a place is good, I go

their fried squid, their calamari.

Yeah.

And then I'll go, and then I'll go lamb chop.

Lamb chopped squid there.

I also like how they'll have like

just the hanging octopi.

Yeah.

Octopuses.

The tenderized.

Yeah, so you're eating here and they're just like

hanging.

I love a nice grilled octopus, too.

And then if you like the traditional food, like a pastichio or like, they have a lot of like tomato sauce-based like kitchen stuff.

I, when I'm on vacation, that's kind of heavy, that's kind of whatever.

But some places are known for that.

So, try that, too, if you want to.

I mean, yeah, that's awesome.

I love seeing it.

You see it, and you're like, what?

It doesn't seem healthy, but no, that's the good shit, baby.

It's getting tenderized.

Tenderized from the sun?

Yeah, legit.

And getting to the sun and getting hung out there like that.

They beat it over some fucking rocks first.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Wow.

It is quite good.

I mean, it's just,

I just feel so fucking good when I'm there, man.

You're right.

And then not rushing you out is such a cool thing.

Never rushing out of you.

You got to wave them down to be like, hey, I'm going to get you.

100%.

Americans will be annoyed at how long it takes.

But that's also part of it.

It's like, hang the fuck out, man.

My perfect day in Greece has three activities.

It's wake up, go for coffee, take a little stroll, go back, get ready for the beach, sit at the beach for fucking hours.

The activity is nothing.

The activity is hanging out, chill at the beach, humongous meal on the beach, and then take a nap.

And if you feel like it, go out, get a little something.

But if you don't, just fucking another opportunity to hang out.

Stroll around at night, see how it feels.

Let the fucking air, that night air hit you off the fucking water.

And then, yeah, it's great.

Is there a Greek coffee?

Greek coffee, it's like, you know, tradition.

I mean, they're big.

It's interesting when you're like an immigrant in a community and you're...

Like, my family's frozen when they left, right?

So they like frappé, everybody drinks Nescafe Frappé.

That's like Greek immigrants from like the 80s and 90s.

You go to Greece, they're like, it's fucking old people bullshit coffee.

They're like, we have espresso.

Like they're like everything is Fredo espresso.

Their cold drink of choice is Fredo espresso's now, which is like kind of a latte.

Really?

Like kind of close to a flat white type of thing.

This is saying what I call authentic and traditional.

Yes, yeah.

So like traditional, like in Thai, is like a papaya salad.

Right.

But authentic is 7-Eleven.

Yeah.

They're everywhere and it's really part of their life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, that's what they actually do.

Yeah, it's like, it's like, yeah.

In Trinidad, it's like KFC is humongous.

Interesting, interesting.

Yeah.

And they're like, oh, while you're here, you got to get some KFC.

Yeah, yeah.

All right.

Fuck you.

That's what they are.

I'll do it.

That's authentic.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So.

Fuck,

how do we get to that?

What was I talking about?

Oh, the coffee and shit.

Yeah.

Yeah, just recommendations of what to do when you're in Athens.

But yeah, I mean, I just like...

Those are all bomb.

And also,

I mean,

the Furno, they have like bakeries.

And that's, if you're an early riser, get to a fucking, every place still has, like, their local bakery.

It's a little old school where it's like.

They have a local bakery.

And go get a fucking, with your coffee, go get a fucking cheese pie or a spinach pie.

Or I love a zambonotiropita, which is ham and cheese pie, but

all those pies.

All in phyllo, all in K.

And they have different different cheeses, different hams, different they have a sweet one.

It's so good.

And it's so simple.

That's what I love about Greece.

It's simple, man.

It's like we have a handful of things.

We have these pies for breakfast with some coffee, chilling on the beach.

These people aren't fat.

It's not a very

culture.

Yeah.

Well, they, you know, the, the, I think it's a little bit of portions.

portion control and they walk around a lot.

No, GMOs.

Dude, swimming too is so good for you.

It's crazy how much that kind of helps.

But yeah.

Okay, so let's get back to your other trips though.

Yes, back to the other trips.

And so that trip kind of

switched it up.

And then, yeah, the next one is I was in a relationship that I kind of...

Yeah, thanks, dude.

Thanks.

It was kind of messy for a little bit.

And then we were...

I thought we were doing pretty good for like a year, year and a half.

It's kind of hazy, the timeline.

This person was a part of my life for a while.

But it also, it's interesting because

me and Nick were sucking each other off on Santorini.

Bombshell.

Yeah.

You get, I'm like, all right, Ari, I'm here to admit it.

We were gay lovers and we just broke up romantically.

We loved doing the podcast.

It was all this other shit got no gay sex wasn't working anymore.

Same thing with Fleetwood Mac happened to have to come to

me up anymore.

Your loads got smaller and it just wasn't filling me up.

The loads were too small for me, man.

I wasn't on my nose anymore.

I had to start fucking Eldis.

And so, you know,

I really loved her.

How long had you been.

The point with what I was saying was it's kind of weird because

this, like, we complete, we like,

we, we broke up, like, I guess

the fall before the pandemic.

So it was this weird thing of like

it's so surreal because so much of my life before then feels so,

so far away.

You know what I mean?

Where it's like, and especially my life also really changed because I went from pandemic to I blew up over the internet and then it was like and I went from like doing okay at comedy clubs to selling out multiple themes.

Like my life has so changed since the pandemic.

When are you at the the lyric?

I'm at the lyric.

I mean, I did it last year.

Yeah, with this coming up.

This

Thanksgiving weekend.

Home for the holidays.

Check it out, folks.

We're trying to get some surprise guests.

And also, like,

you know, I mean, I guess I should talk about it, but like, I wrote and fucking was in a movie, Let's Start a Cult, October 25th, in theaters.

It's crazy.

In theaters.

In theaters.

So the pandemic for everybody is just break.

It's almost like BCE and AD.

Yeah.

BCE is what Jews say because we can't say BC.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you know what it is.

Yeah, yeah.

Civil fucking know what it is.

But it was not for everybody.

But then in comics.

It's kind of your fault when it started.

In many ways, you picked the start date.

Yeah.

Hey, guys, I have these like.

Well, you started AD.

That's what it's like.

Yeah.

Because of death.

But yeah, I don't know.

But you and other comics too, but you are a lot.

For me, it's that break of life,

all humanity, and then this massive uptick.

So it really is a pre-impose.

So for me, it's like that relationship is like so, it's very important to me.

But it feels like this, I feel it emotionally, but like from a time thing, it feels like so long ago, even though it's not that long ago.

It's like, you know.

Five.

Yeah.

Come up on five.

And so, and then we were, we had been dating for a while, but we were really, we were serious for, it was kind of messy at first, and then we were serious for a while.

And to me, I was like,

I want to prove once and for all this really means so much to me.

And so, like, let's go to Greece after the pandemic?

No, no, no, no, no, no, this is right before.

This is right before.

Okay.

So, you hadn't broken up.

Huh?

So you hadn't broken up.

No, no, no, no.

Yeah, yeah, we hadn't broken up.

And so

I think it was 19, maybe it was 18.

I don't know.

Again, like, this is all so such a blur.

But

was it?

It wasn't 2020.

No, definitely 2020.

No way.

But

and so we take this trip and I don't know, man, it was just like is this you like, hey, I want to show you something special to me.

Yeah.

And like met my mom on the trip and like I had met her parents pretty right before that.

And it was like everything felt like, okay, we fucking did it.

You know what I mean?

Like we came out of this.

And it was my, the messiness was mostly my fault.

I'm emotionally unavailable and I was having a lot of trouble.

Like I was scared because I actually cared about some, you know, all this, all this different shit that you have to fuck something up to realize.

You know what I mean?

Like, it's almost like

season three.

Yeah,

oh, you've moved on.

And he goes, it tears me apart.

Season three, episode six, when he sees AD.

I'm not as up on SATC,

unfortunately.

But, but, yeah, I don't know.

It's like, and we go on this trip, and it's just like,

I don't know, something's a little off.

And it's like, I think the seriousness

kind of hit I don't know what it was but it was like

it almost brought up all the I thought we were over all this shit and I think it brought up some stuff and we were both in interesting parts in our lives where we were both pretty ambitious people and our careers mattered to us and I think part of it was like it was just a really messy strange time and traveling together is kind of tough and We both had a lot going on.

Just,

you know, and we were both, I think we were both people people that couldn't separate life and work.

And like, it was a busy time.

And just a lot of shit happened.

And it was just,

I don't, I still to this day, I'm sort of unclear.

The vibes were just so, in a way that's.

So you were in Greece feeling weird?

Feeling weird, man.

And it was fun at first.

And there was just like...

I still don't know really what happened.

It just feels like something got away from us, got away from me, got away from both of us.

And I think it was the kind of thing where we got into an argument and if we were at home we would have kind of been like taken a couple days apart come back to it talked it out but then it's this thing where something weird happens you get into an argument

not only can you not walk away but you're in the most beautiful we're in sandorini we're in like the place people go to fucking fall in love and there's this like

pressure.

It's not only can we not take time for ourselves, but like we're wasting this beautiful place and you feel bad because all around you, we're in this fucking expensive hotel.

Everyone around you is in love.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it was just

the vibes were like, you almost, you almost, I felt like I spent some of that vacation disassociating.

Like we were both kind of just getting through it and it was weird, man.

And it was like, dude, I love seeing couples fight in paradise.

Yeah.

It's so, it's, whenever I see it, I'm like, hey, I can't, I got to watch them for a while.

Which I can't.

Now I think I would have PTSD.

Because after having been, like, without exaggeration, it was like one of the lowest moments of my life.

Because it was like, because I finally felt like,

I finally felt like we had had something, I thought we were like a good place.

And it was like, and I don't,

it takes a while for me to like feel like I'm

to really surrender myself to something like that.

It took a lot.

And I'm not, it was my fault.

Let me be very clear.

The reason shit was weird was shit I had fucked up early in the relationship, right?

But in that moment,

in that moment, it was, and you feel no control.

You're like, I can't stop this.

I see the momentum.

We're having this fight.

It's nobody's fault.

We just need time to fucking cool off.

We can't do it.

And you're just in this weird place.

Like, you know, when you're like, you leave, you leave your house in New York has happened all the time.

You leave your house and you're like, oh, I'm just, you're in your flip-flops and basketball shorts.

You're like, I'm just going to go grab a coffee.

And then you like see a friend and you're like, I'll walk with you.

And then you're like, you kind of have to shit, and then you're like, Yeah, now you're in New Jersey, yeah, and then you're like in flip-flops, just a little bit more, no, no underwear, your balls are chafing, you've got, you know what I mean?

It's like something has gotten away from you so hard, yeah, and there's no fixing it.

I just lost, and it was just this crazy thing, and it took a while to fucking get over.

Honestly, it was like, it was really fucking weird, and I think it's did you break up while you were there?

Not really, but we, it was soon after, and like laid the groundwork, laid the groundwork.

And because of some, like, because of some like scheduling stuff, we took different flights, which actually was probably a fucking blessing because it was like.

Oh, really?

Yeah, because it was like.

Yeah, I was going to ask you.

We each get to cry home.

You know what I mean?

Like,

I assume I was.

I was fucking sad.

But it was also just like, you know, it just...

And.

Don't get me wrong.

I think there were problems in the relationship.

And I think maybe.

Yeah, but it could have so easily gone the other way to be like.

It could have.

Hey, we're all great now.

But you know what?

But also, I don't know if, I don't think it was right.

Like, at the same time, it's like, I see how our lives went, and it was like, we probably both needed to be on our, on our own.

You know what I mean?

Like, it was probably better,

maybe not as human beings, but for like, or like for my career, I don't know that I would have accomplished as much in a remote.

You were happy.

Yeah, if I was happy, I really wouldn't have, right?

Which.

Now I'm trying to get back to that.

Now I'm like, that's the wrong way of thinking.

Maybe it would have just been better to be happy, but I just know where I was as a human being, I was not mature enough to know that.

I had to succeed, realize it doesn't do anything for you, and then realize, all right, time to try being a human being.

So anyway, that was fucking brutal.

But you know.

And you went to Athens and Santerinia on that one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I don't think I'll ever go back to Sandorini.

It was the first time I ever went.

It's not that, I think it's an overrated island.

Is that Mikonos or is that another island?

It's near it, but it's

the big ones.

Those are the big ones.

If you're a tourist, I say skip it.

Its biggest thing is it has a breathtaking sunset, but a lot of places have nice sunsets in Greece.

You know what I mean?

Maybe it's a little worse, but much cheaper, and everything else is better.

We went to Zion with Lisz and Sarah and Becky Own after we did the comedy store of Vegas.

We went out there.

Norman had to go home.

And we stayed in the national park, but off in a separate area, this cool artist house.

But it was like, it wasn't the famous hikes, but it was in our backyard.

Yeah.

And literally zero people were there.

That's incredible.

So you're like, this A- is fucking great.

That's right, right.

No Chinese fucking picture taker.

And yeah, exactly.

It's better.

Yeah.

Because it has none of the other shit.

And also other places are cheaper.

But anyway,

poison, like, I still, I feel like there's like some net, I feel some real fucked up energy towards that island.

You know, I don't know that I'll ever go back.

I don't know if, you know, and there's too many other islands.

Too many other islands.

Good point.

And then, but, and that kind of fucked Greece up for me a little bit.

But, um, right, but that's the,

I was about to say, like, don't say, I'm not going back to Greece.

No, just take it out on the island.

Totally.

I really, because the island kind of sucked anyway.

But ever since then,

it's been the kind of thing where, I mean, and then the most recent one, I think I went

last year for my cousins.

Yeah.

wedding and I think I was I think I went one other time since then

between the breakup trip and this latest one, but you know the it didn't ruin Greece for me Greece is just too important to me and it's too beautiful a fucking place right did you tell me kind of you told me like you want to go to all the islands you want to keep exploring and you're like

the Arab ones and I got rid of the well yeah exactly you also gave me some good advice when I was looking for an island yeah yeah yeah you were like hey go to the ones near Turkey and say oh how does it feel to be Arab and they'll fuck them and lose their

shit calling them Turks is so funny calling Greeks from southern islands Turks they fucked up

right off the coast.

They're right there.

You don't see the history there.

It's like, oh, Turkey never had a navy.

Yeah.

That's why you didn't get an island you could see.

Yeah.

Right there.

You're like, wait,

wait,

wait.

They're going to fucking swim in their big-ass pants.

Yeah, with a knife in their teeth.

Yeah, no, so I want to go.

And that was the cool thing about going this time for my cousin's wedding: we went to Thaso, which I hadn't been to since I was a little kid.

Okay.

And it's a beautiful island.

It's breathtaking.

It's like,

it's not the White Houses Island.

It's not like

the Kiklades, the Cicladis Island.

It's so far north that it's like

it's got evergreen trees.

Like, it gets cold.

So you, I was at a beach with fucking pine trees shading you.

Wow.

And it's such a cool, trippy thing.

It's all this beautiful greenery.

And like, and my cousin, she rented this boat to take us.

Her wedding was beautiful.

You went for a wedding.

Huh?

You went for a wedding.

Last time, yeah.

But I comboed it with other friends of mine.

Came.

We made it a big group trip.

Eldis and his wife were in Albania, and they met us.

Eldis is Albanian?

Yeah, you didn't know that?

No.

I thought he was Greek.

No.

How dare you?

He's a fucking dog.

He's not.

He's not.

Bro, for the longest time, I had this theory that Italians are the worst of the whites.

And then you met an Albanian.

Legitimately 100%.

I'm like, you know what, guys?

My research wasn't complete.

I was speaking from a place of ignorance.

I was only matching up against Irish and Jews and whatever else.

It's Albanians.

A lot of Slavs could compete for that crown.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But yeah, I met up with Eldis and then my buddy George, who I'd gone on all these trips with, we all did this group trip and we all, we rented a great house on that island.

So I got to have the friend trip.

Untaso.

Ontaso, yep, yep.

And that was a great trip.

And my cousin's wedding was beautiful.

And it was nice to go back to that island and go to my grandmother's village and like just see shit shit from when I was a little kid and we met my grandmother's family is Bulgarian because her her father was a communist who fled Greece during World War II and to Bulgaria

and like my little World War II was Greek what was what happened in Greece during World War II they we held out against the we held out against the Italians the Italians couldn't fuck with us but then they the Germans came and they we they fought a two-front war against us the Germans eventually took over it must have been late right?

It was pretty late in the war.

But because, you know,

communists were getting fucking, were getting killed too by, you know, not, they didn't put up the numbers you guys did, but they, the communists, the, the, so my, um, so my grandmother's family moved to Bulgaria, fled.

Like, she literally fled the Nazis as a young girl.

Up to Bulgaria, because they weren't interested in Bulgaria because no nice people.

Well, they were in very, they were in very north, they were in really northern Greece.

My dad was from out here.

Okay.

But if he was from here, he'd be dead.

Yeah.

But if he was here, it just took a little longer, so they were being processed.

When there was like, hey, we're in the middle of the day.

It's insane the stuff that like these little things,

like that's within a couple generations, but who knows the stuff a thousand years ago that like some ancestor almost got smashed by a rock and not only you, but four generations back, wouldn't it?

Your sisters, everybody.

Yeah.

It is weird to think.

Because a rock they're like, whoa, that was a close one.

You know, every time I've driven drunk and I'm like,

why was it?

Whoa.

You know, almost ran over a baby.

Yeah.

Their lineage was ruined.

Yeah, but anyway,

yeah, so they so they fled to Bulgaria.

They were in very northern Greece.

And then my mom's dad, my grandfather on that side, he fought in, there was a, after World War II, there were like...

These like skirmish border wars between Greece and like there was a civil war and then there was like border wars in Bulgaria.

He was a prisoner of war in Bulgaria, fell in love with my grandmother while in Bulgaria, and then took her back to Greece.

So her whole family is Bulgarian.

Like I have, I have relatives in Bulgaria, but so I go to Thaso, I meet some of them for the first time, which is cool.

It's like these people that not only do I not share, like I have foreign cousins, but they're Greek.

These are foreign cousins who are Bulgaria.

That's a whole other level of like, but they're my blood.

You know what I mean?

Did I tell you about Bulgaria?

A little bit.

We talked a little bit.

One of them had good English.

The other ones, it's like we're kind of communicating this weird half greek half bulgarian half fucking hear louis bit about dating that french girl and he goes so she's in like academia she's like really that this i don't think they're together anymore but like that comedian she's like a high-level newer comic oh interest of the new breed of comics we're like talking real and she's dark and dirty and she's french she's french paris a french comedian yeah okay and but he's there with all her friends which are like professors and like the academia and everybody but their english is not that great so he goes these are some of the most brilliant minds in Paris.

And their whole conversation is, your day was good.

My day also was good.

Yeah, yeah, that's so funny.

That's hilarious.

Wow, she has fucking

her friends are all academics, huh?

But like, they're just the intelligentsia.

Right, right.

Artists and weirdos.

Interesting.

Interesting.

Yeah, that's interesting because like comics here just do not, that's not at all how it goes.

Yeah.

Don't talk about art.

No.

No, I mean, I kind of would like to get in that zone, honestly.

That'd be nice.

I'm interested in it, but whatever.

But yeah, that last trip was,

so I'm doing, and it was really nice, and it was great to see my cousin get married.

And she rented a boat, and we toured the island, and just sunset, like this.

One of the best days I've ever had where it's like you go out, they take you to a couple beaches, you swim out, jump off the boat.

Swim out to the beach.

Swim out to the beach,

jumping off the boat.

The fucking part of the boat tour the guys halfway up put an anchor down and they're like fucking fish or meat and then they get the they have a grill on board they start grilling pork chops and a greek salad you have this fucking simple lunch swim to the and then they go to the i part of the island with the best view of the sunset and you just fucking swim out you're just fucking swimming looking at the sunset sunset while you're in the water incredible with the fucking freshest most delicious lunch

healthy you feel good.

And, but that, so that caught while you're out, and now you're eating it still out.

Incredible, dude.

But, so that trip was very important because, like, I've talked about this a lot.

I feel like sometimes I feel like a broken record about wanting to just, you know, prioritize being happy and, like, not letting your career take over your whole life and all this kind of shit.

And that was the trip where I was kind of like, I have to do that.

Because

this was last summer

and it was like right before, I mean, I think I had just,

I had filmed the special and I had filmed the movie.

Wasn't that a special?

Fat Rascal.

Fat Rascal.

So I had filmed Fat Rascal and I had filmed Let's Start a Cult in theaters October 25th.

Go see it.

We're done.

We're going to do a layout.

We're going to do a lay-in afterwards.

But I had just done that and then I had

And then I had like more dates left, all right?

Like I still had like dates to do.

And I remember just like, and i felt so unhealthy and i was just like running my body fucking ragged and we had been to amsterdam before me and george for old time's sake had stopped over in amsterdam really

and and we got mushrooms there and we're like we're gonna take mushrooms on the beach and so i'm in thought

in greece yeah yeah took them with you took them with us how'd you transport them are you worried no

Not really.

It's fucking Europe.

You know what I mean?

Put them at the bottom of a bag with a bunch of treats.

No one gives a fuck.

People are always asking, how do you transport them?

yeah i don't really think about like that what i did was i put them in a bag i took the bag with me

um

uh

anyway and so i'm so i'm on this trip and my cousin's it's a beautiful wedding the m

we rented these great little houses and uh there's a beach that's a five-minute walk from where we are and it's gorgeous you have these fucking beautiful trees a restaurant so good we ate at it.

We tried it once, and we were like, We're coming back

every day.

Oh, I love that.

We're like, What are we looking for?

We just found paradox.

Well, we're talking fresh calamari, fish caught that day.

The fucking meat was incredible.

Different stuff on the menu, so you could try different.

It was great.

And we had this little area with like, and I'm with my best friends, right?

Eldis, my buddy George, like, um, you know,

just like it's great.

Idyllic situation.

My mom and grandma are even like in the, on the island.

I see them.

I spend time with them.

Everything's good.

And I'm on mushrooms.

And I'm just like, I'm so unhappy.

I'm just like, I'm like, this is great.

But this is, when I go back to my life, I don't want to do this anymore.

I feel so unhealthy.

I'm barely like, you know, I'm getting so much weight.

I'm here and this is good.

But all I can think about is all the shit I have to do.

While you're on mushrooms in paradise.

Yeah.

And that's when I was like, dude, if this is how much and all this stuff is good for me and what I have to,

all what stuff is good for you?

It's, dude, it was a, I was about to go promote the special and I was going to, I sold out the beacon three times and I couldn't, I couldn't wait to do it and all this stuff.

But I was like, I'm not celebrating any of this.

I'm not enjoying any of this.

It's all just an obligation.

And that was the start of me being like,

damn.

What something's got to fucking change.

And then obviously I had to do it.

I had to do all those things.

So I couldn't change my life like that.

But But that put the seed in my mind where I was like, the next time I come to Greece, I'm not going to feel this way.

Because it reminded me of some of those trips when I was a little kid, where I was like, all this shit is weighing on me, all my family shit, and all this other stuff.

And it's like Greece had always been, I finally got Greece to be the best place on earth for me and like a real escape.

And I was like,

if I'm letting all these things affect me here, it's like,

what the fuck is the point?

So wait, so you're on the beach, it's walking, it's hitting you, and then I'm sure first it's some giggles, whatever, and then it hits you with what I call the capital T truth.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, which has hit me a lot.

That's happened to me a couple times on mushrooms.

Yeah, it's like the reason I started that other relationship, by the way, I was like, who are you kidding?

You in love with this girl?

Go date her.

I had that mushroom trip in Seattle, like, you know, four years before or whatever.

But yes.

And it's just like, I see it now as perfectly as possible.

And it's almost like.

I've been kidding myself, but it's always been right under the surface.

And I'm just going to peel back that little surface layer.

Anything that mushrooms tell you is like, hey, you're going to have to, you should deal with it.

Yeah.

It's not just like, I happen to think about it.

Yeah, unless it tells you you're gay every time.

That you can push down.

But anything else.

Yeah.

Once you get past that.

So you had this thing of like, fuck, why am I unhappy?

I've just like because you definitely shouldn't have been and no one could understand that.

Yeah.

And I also felt bad because

Sagalo looks at you and like, what the fuck?

I'm looking at you.

And it's like, wow, what an amazing time.

Yes.

But the reality is, remember that poem of the guy who everybody liked?

Oh, yeah, yeah, Pagliace or whatever.

Or like that joke where he's like,

but doctor, I am Pagliachi, the clown, that gay clown or whatever.

No, it wasn't that one.

It was this guy who was the envy of all the women and all the men.

No, no, no.

He was so cool.

And then one day he put a bullet in his brain.

And everyone's like, what?

He had everything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and for me, it was more like the coward suicide of just getting fat as shit but it was like it was a slow moving bullet

yeah yeah yeah and yeah i just saw that i was like that's my future if i don't stop i couldn't stop for a while like i had that realization last summer and it took a while you know what i mean we gotta tie up loose ends i had to tie up all the loose ends i had to i had to i mean it took me until february to really like clear everything out because i had to from the special was in december i had to fucking promote that and then i had makeup dates in February from being sick sometimes and not doing, you know what I mean?

But that's sort of what led me to, you know, this.

Perfect place to do it, too.

You're with friends.

Yeah.

And you're on a beach.

And it's beautiful out.

And that's the other thing.

So perfect.

Like all that shit's out of the way.

And now I can just think.

And it's also like you feel so alone.

You're around your best friends and you can't even describe what's happening.

And

you seem happy.

And I kind of had to fake it a little bit too you don't want to be like I'm going I'm having a freak out because you don't ruin their magical trip so I'm just like in the I'm just like oh yeah guys

and I'm just like freaking the fuck out like fuck

going in the water and staying in the water with like goggles on and crying underwater

no one can see my tears

freaking the fuck out being like fuck dude I love a fucking mushroom sad yeah it was tough man with Fahim I had this experiment where I'm like, he's never smoked or done mushrooms.

I'm like, hey, I want you to be the first to do mushrooms before you smoke weed.

Whoa.

And he was like, and every time I'm like, don't smoke weed.

Yeah.

We're going to get you home.

And he did, but he had this moment where all of Benji's grandmother's beach house in Malibu.

Great place.

And

this moment we thought about his parents and how they're getting older.

And he goes, oh, they're going to die.

Oh, everybody dies.

Oh, everybody dies.

And then just swims down.

Oh, my God.

And he came back fine, but it was an hour of just crying.

Holy shit.

Damn.

And Benji's like, what do you do?

I'm like, I I think he's got to ride it out.

You got to let him ride it out, brother.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

So then you took that, but you managed to maintain that after you sobered up.

Yeah.

I mean,

it was also something that I could feel.

I mean, it wasn't like that, but it was just like.

This is affecting me so much, I can't even enjoy these moments.

It's like, it was just, it was like happiness was completely zapped out of my life.

Wow.

And it was like, that's what it really, I knew it.

Don't get me wrong.

You didn't have to be a fucking scientist to know I was getting too unhealthy.

Every month I would just

gain weight and just my, I would, you know, be

high as shit and eat like shit.

40 pounds down right now.

I'm 40 pounds down right now.

I need to do a little more, but I want to stick.

I always want to feel healthier.

That's all it is.

So, you know, grease has just been very important to me.

So then what?

So you decided like, hey, wrap up these things and then don't go on the road.

Don't

be on the road since February.

I'll do tires because that's my buddy.

Yeah, I'll do tires and I will go on the road next year.

Yeah.

But I told myself at least a year to set up these habits and I feel now I feel ready for the road because also I wasn't I wasn't ready for that level of torrent.

I didn't know what I was ex what was about to happen.

Now I felt it.

I'm also going to spend money on like

you know, I'm doing a bus so that I can wake up in a city and like work out and like yeah, and I'm going to I'm going to try I'm hiring I want to hire a buddy to come and like be the fucking nutrition coordinator and like Nate has that.

Go buy shit.

Nate has that.

haircut and nutritionist and workout guy in one I I need that dude I need I mean I'd be great if I could get that guy

And if it's a buddy, it's just like summer camp exactly.

So I'm hoping part of the part of the like hey openers my buddy.

He's cool.

Yep.

Yep.

So yeah, I'm hoping to just find all that shit and like just again It's not about making money.

It's about if I could leave a tour and not feel like and feel energized instead of I want to kill myself.

Yeah.

That's worth all the money.

Let's have a good let's have a a drink or two.

Yeah.

Fuck, that was great.

Let's go home and refresh instead of like, oh, what's next?

Yeah, exactly.

Dude, I literally have this talk with Diaz did it first.

Yeah.

Then me, and then I tried to prepare.

And he Diaz warned me.

And then I just try to warn all my friends.

Yeah.

Of like, hey, you get no dates for a decade.

Finally, you get a couple of dates like on the road.

And then suddenly it's three weeks on, a week off, three other weeks.

And then the DC improv.

Like, I've always wanted to go to.

Like, we got that one middle week.

I'm sick.

I've always wanted this.

But then you don't realize that's seven straight weeks, and your Jews aren't going to help you out on this one.

They're just going to get you working.

And it's going to be like, oh, she's kind of an Italian, but yeah.

My Jew's not a Jew either.

My Jew's not a Jew.

It's the Jew arts, though.

You know?

Sure.

Sure.

And

you got to pull back and be like, I want to enjoy this.

What's my line?

And everybody goes through it.

Yeah.

And so I feel pretty, I don't want to sound like again, I don't want to like a broken record.

I don't want to sound ungrateful.

And I'm happy now.

I feel really happy now.

And I feel like, yeah, I can't wait to do tires we're about to film that right now I can't wait for people to see let's start a cult I'm really proud that I mean I'm working on just being happy about stuff and I'm like I'm like holy shit man if nothing else happens for me I had an incredible career like I made it I had two I had two specials one self-produced one on Netflix I made a I started in a movie people try people are actors that try to do that their whole

your resume is already in and you're still building it I'm good man I like and I i want to i want to be like this is great i've been you know i'm what a healthy way to think about it that's it's just like everything is icing on the cake from now on and i just want to do fun things i'm so grateful that you know they put me on tires and it's so fun to work with those guys and and then and then even stand-up i'm approaching now is like i can't wait i haven't written the new hour i've written like 15 minutes i'm so excited to come up with the new hour and work on it in the fall and then workshop it in front of people who like i want to go work on it in new york and in random places for the next couple months like in between filming tires and then i'm excited to take it out on the road and have it grow and build and i'm

put on a big show really try super hard sell that material and then i'm not in a rush to put it out as a special i want to let that marinate a little bit take it out and then take it out maybe i'll go to europe and see how different people appreciate it go to australia and not oh tour it for a while tour it it for a while and then take a break.

Try it in New York as 15-minute chunks.

Like, really put it through the ringer and really have a fun time.

My Jew hour was like COVID hit.

I was supposed to record it, didn't COVID hit, and then,

so that's six months off, you know, whatever.

And then I'm doing other material.

Then I came back to it like a year later.

It's so much stronger.

Yeah.

To be like, oh, this joke's too long.

Oh, this joke's almost the same as that joke.

When you get to see it through fresh eyes, you're not emotionally invested.

So anyway, I'm really, I'm actually in a weird place where I feel happy.

Are you okay with it?

I feel, yeah, it's awesome.

It's great.

And that's why I'm like,

I even went to, I actually, so I was working in London briefly this summer and I had four days off and I went to Greece because I had four days off and there was a direct flight and I went to Corfu for just four days and it was just beach, didn't know anyone, beach.

chill food and I was like, you know what, man?

I'm busy.

I have a lot of stuff coming up, but I don't feel that way again.

And it felt like a real victory, man.

It really did.

It really felt like, even though I have stuff that could give me that same anxiety, I don't feel that way.

I feel more in control of my life.

I feel I'm excited about the projects I'm doing.

Choosing the right things.

Just choosing the right things.

But I don't think you were choosing the right things before.

You're just letting it.

No, I wasn't.

I was overbooking myself.

Okay.

Even though they were the right things.

I'm thinking about the Lyric and the Beacon.

I'm not thinking about all the other things.

All the other theaters I did between those and like, and how I felt the need to, you know, promoting your special is important, but I didn't need to promote it as much as I did.

I needed to go, I went cross-country.

I went like New York, LA, Austin, Chicago.

I didn't need to do that in a week.

That's so bad for your body.

It's like, hey, you could have missed out on a podcast or two.

Yeah.

It's fine.

Or also these days you're like,

hey, my special is out January 1st.

Can I come in November and just

take one?

Exactly.

Exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But anyway, I'm putting out these from fucking two years ago.

Adult sloths.

I'm like, I need to report George.

I was like, for what?

Yeah.

The podcast you did.

He goes,

what?

You're so irresponsible.

I've forgotten about that completely.

It's hysterical, dude.

Yeah.

Well, yeah, when this comes out in 2028, we'll be doing the sequel to Let's Start a Cult.

That's great.

I'm so always amazed by how much mushrooms will fucking lead you if you let it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And Greece and that animist, like, old place.

I do, I definitely

do.

I think it's so important to me, man, like in a real way.

And it's it's nice to just,

I don't know, sometimes me, instead of like looking for meaning and like trying to, it's just like, sometimes you're just like,

it's just, sometimes it's just where you're from, where you are, you don't need to fight that always.

Like, I was thinking about where to live, and I was like, I just love New York, man.

Like, because I had been away for so long.

And people are moving to Austin.

People are moving to, you know, I could move to LA.

I could just pick a random place and buy, because I can't afford shit here, but if I, I could buy an insane spot somewhere.

In OKC or something.

Right?

But I was like, you know what?

I just love it.

New York chose me.

I love stand-up.

I don't ever want to leave.

You have so many friends here.

I have so many friends here.

I love the lifestyle here.

Sometimes I think about like, if they treated us, if they treated athletes the way they treat us, like, what's next?

What's next?

Yeah.

After LeBron wins his second championship, like, now what are you doing?

Right.

Try to win more?

Like, what do you mean?

You want to move on to acting now?

Like, what do you mean?

I'm doing this.

I'm in a Hall of Fame career.

Right, right, right, right.

Yeah.

Yeah, and I guess, like, not worrying about what's next, or I guess I'm not as, yeah, I'm just, I'm really, I want to live my life where my health is important.

And then you plan stuff like my trip to Greece.

I can't wait for my trip.

I'm going to Greece

next summer and stuff.

It's like, you can eat so healthy there.

And work will find your way.

All that other shit will find its way.

You can't avoid the other shit.

You're going to get it.

Do you want to read the fountainhead?

No.

You read it all or no?

I read, but I don't know about the fountainhead.

It's heavy reading.

Yeah.

But it's just like ultimate artist.

He's an architect.

Doesn't really matter.

It's any artist.

What is the fountainhead?

The fountainhead is a book.

It's a novel.

Okay.

And it's about this guy who is.

Is that Ayn Rand?

Yeah.

Forget anything you've heard about her.

It's got nothing to do with that.

People are like, but she was a socialist.

Like, what?

No, no, she wasn't.

Well, I don't know.

She was against socialism, and then she took welfare in her in the end of her days.

I'm like, great, great, great.

Anyway, this book is sick.

Yeah,

interesting.

Okay.

But it's his ultimate artist.

He's got, he's 100% focused on the art, and no one could be this level of artist.

But it's what you should strive for.

Interesting.

It's kind of my Bible, to be honest.

Interesting.

Yeah, and it took about a year to read it.

Every chapter, I got to stop and think about it for like three weeks.

But he goes on a vacation, and he goes, everything's set.

Everything's in play.

Okay, I can go.

And he goes off, maybe in Greece, actually.

I got to look at it, but off on a boat somewhere in the middle of nowhere from this guy who owns a bunch of newspapers, who's also an artist in the newspaper world.

And he comes back and things are getting fucked up.

But his thing was, I'm leaving because it's all taken care of.

And this doing nothing is part of it.

Like, just having a good time is part of it.

Yeah.

And it comes back to the art.

Yeah, I fully agree with that.

I think just life in general is like that.

And I honestly, I admire that about you, about just like, you just fucking left.

You went to fucking Asia.

And I was like, that's awesome.

And shit wasn't going good for me yet, but I was like, even then, I was like, part of me is like,

I really remember you disappearing with me being like so so jealous of being able to do that.

Because I knew at the time I could never do that.

And now I feel like, and look, now you totally can't.

Especially if you tell your Jews, hey, in eight months I'm going.

So get everything in before that.

Yeah.

Which you've done.

Which I've done.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You do responsibly.

Yeah.

And like, I'm also just at the place where it's like, yeah, fuck it.

If something's awesome, I'll do it.

And if it's not, I don't give a fuck.

But.

You know what?

We got a plan.

What's that?

Not soon, but in a few years.

A fucking comedian's trip to Greece.

I would love that.

that well no that's why i want to go to greece for a while so that people can pop in and out like i want to be there for a month so let's say you want to come for four days whatever i gotta on a bureau trip bedroom and whatever it may be i have i've sam same thing i've been talking to say like i want

if anybody

easy but yeah i want to say i definitely he was bitching once about going on vacations or something to me and shane we're at the fat black back when it was still a bar and uh i missed that bar but like um but is it not a bar at all anymore not at all wow They got to get that back.

Yeah, I haven't been in a while.

But he was bitching.

He was like, he was like, you know, it's just hard.

You guys don't understand.

I'm tall.

It's flying is hard.

And me and Shane are just like,

bro, we're taller than you.

That's so

funny.

Who are you talking to?

I'm tall.

The shit you'll lie to yourself about.

Just because Sam will have a panic attack if he doesn't do four sets a week.

He's pretending it's because he's tall.

Yeah.

Hilarious.

What other islands in Greece do you want to go to?

You haven't been to?

I want to go to Milos.

Milos.

milos um i i just went to um

um i also want to go to the ones like um a lot of like all the aunties yeah yeah yeah the ones that are right by there i want to i've never been to uh i have a lot of friends from uh my part of baltimore there's people from like carpathos which is one of those southern ones uh heo another one that's kind of like i want to go check those out i've never been to crete obviously that's

that's the oldest one that's the big one

super south Yeah.

It's massive.

Yeah.

Yeah, right there next to it.

I'd like, even, even though Cyprus isn't strict, yeah, Rhodes, I want to go to Rhodes.

Rhodes seems cool.

Yeah.

Look at it.

And that's everywhere in the whole fucking country.

This shit.

Yeah, dude.

It fucking rules.

And you come across something in Athens where you're like, sometimes there'll be that glass thing where it sees some ruins down there.

You could walk over it.

You're like, when the fuck was this from?

It's awesome.

And they're just uncovering it daily.

I know, dude.

I mean, I just love it.

So, yeah, I just, I want to do that.

And then I want to go island hopping.

And then I also want to do a road trip across the whole country because it's a small country.

Across the mainland part?

Across the mainland.

Because the other thing is, the coastal parts of the mainland, just as beautiful as some of these islands.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

There's parts of it that are gorgeous.

So I just want to like, I want to have a like, maybe not encyclopedic knowledge, but I want to really,

over like, you know, a couple years, really fucking get to know, get to know the country.

Should we see my fucking,

hold on.

I got all these things saved, I just realized.

See how many you've been to.

Oh, interesting.

I probably told you about.

I mean, probably.

You probably told me 90% of them.

Now that I think about it, I'm like, who did I get these from?

Like, oh, yeah, oh, you.

Yeah.

Thanasi, I definitely told you about.

That's the place that has the kebabs.

Kebab place, yeah.

Yep.

That's a little, a little touristy, but pretty fucking sick.

Yeah.

Oh, that's my Airbnb.

It was right fucking looking over.

Like, you could see the balcony.

It was right there.

That's beautiful.

I don't know if that's a store.

Oh, that's my driver told me about that.

Oh, I got to do a commercial for my driver for this.

It's just a a wine store.

Yeah, but it was like, it's my.

Tiporto.

I think I've seen that place.

I don't know that I've been there.

Over here was the shit.

I didn't write it down.

Yeah.

It wasn't recorded.

It was like stuff we came across.

Right, right, right.

The end of the great place.

Obviously, very important to me.

Through the years, it's been very important to me.

Yeah.

Like in my, almost like my development.

And I'm really, yeah, I want to spend a lot of time there.

All right, for sure.

Going forward.

If I'm living out there and you're staying out there, it'd be like, hey, London's getting too much.

I got to fucking

i gotta go make stabby for a while would love that dude would that's my goal saganaki tour of an island well my goal so i want to go visit i want to go travel and then i want to be like what place do i love the most i am buying a sick spot there and i will go spend my summers there and like that's it that's it and then sometimes i'll go in the fall and like you know

uh like spend all spend

There are those islands that with that crazy wind.

Yeah, they got wind.

Yeah, which is like, hey, don't avoid this place during these six months.

Someplace we almost got.

They're like, you don't want to be on the north side of that island during these six months.

Interesting.

Because like, we'll play cards.

Like, you won't play cards.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I didn't know that there were that.

There were some places that are that bad.

I've never experienced that level of wind.

I know, from that, not seasonal anyway.

I know from time to time it gets bad.

Yeah, it was like, it was like,

yeah, maybe up in here or something.

Okay.

I don't know.

Interesting.

But

damn, dude.

This was awesome.

Yeah, dude.

Thank you for having me.

Yeah, okay.

So a couple of things I ask people before

every time.

But you, I just asked, like, which other islands in Greece are.

It's usually like what other places call on you.

Do you have any other countries that are like you want to go to?

I think I used to be like scared of super foreign shit.

I used to be like scared of Asia.

Yeah.

And like, okay, well, but it shouldn't be.

Yeah, yeah.

It's just the foreignness of it.

It's scary.

Right.

And so, and I never really gave a fuck about that stuff, but I went to Australia once.

Yeah.

And I went to Japan.

And I'm just like, you know what?

I kind of want to see, I just want to see everything.

I do want to, I want to, you know, I don't have to, I obviously will always go back to Greece, but like, I want to go to Africa.

I want to go to fucking China.

I want to go,

you know.

China rules.

Yeah, I want to see China.

I want to, I want to spend time in Korea.

You know, I only, I barely did on that little USO thing.

I want to, for non-sex tourism reasons, go to Thailand.

It seems, it's tough.

You can't say you want to go to Thailand as a fat guy in a Hawaiian shirt because everyone thinks you're there to buy prostitutes.

It's so funny.

It looks sick.

It's so funny.

It's so great.

And then it's like when I went, it wasn't for that, but my buddy had just broken up with his girlfriend and was still living with her for like a year.

So he was in sex jail.

And he went and fucked like 12 hookers in 10 days.

Oh my god.

Yeah.

He was like, I'm letting loose, bro.

And then, of course, I'm like, all right, I'll fuck a hook.

Well, I'm here.

Like,

yeah, I'm not going to do it.

I'm just not.

It's not what my trip is going to be about.

Like, I'm there.

They say, you know what I mean?

You go to Greece, you have a yeto.

Yeah, you have a gyro.

But you don't have them every day.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You go to Rome,

see the Coliseum.

You don't fucking see it every day, but you go once.

Yeah, but Thailand, beyond that, Thailand is.

It looks beautiful and cheap.

It's set up for tourism.

Of all the Southeast Asian countries, it's the most like, it's not, some parts are overly tourists, but it's set up for like, we gotcha, we got a nice place.

And because I'm a beach, like what I like about vacation is get a great spot, relax by the beach, and it seems like that kind of place.

But yeah, just any, I want to check out Beach Plays, but also I'm just like, I'm interested in checking, you know, I want to go to Africa.

I want to go.

You also have this.

I don't know how you deal with fame all the time, but there's places out there where no one will know you.

That'd be awesome.

I mean, I was in London, and even that, it's like one or two guys came up to me, but it was like nothing.

Like, I was in Baltimore all summer.

That's the place I'm the most famous in the world.

Yeah.

Um, and I was like, why did I do this?

My dumb family, I should have just gone to, but then I was in England and it was awesome.

No, I was in the countryside, um, and it was like, dude, no one had any fucking clue who I was.

It was so sick.

I ran into one guy in four months in Southeast Asia, maybe two, but I remember one on an island in Cambodia.

And just, I'm in the rural part of that island, and I'm walking around to meet a friend in the main part.

And then some guy's just on the beach with his wife, and he's just like,

Ari Shafira?

what are you doing here?

I mean, Rollins already prepared.

I'm like, same as you, bud.

Yeah.

All right, see you.

What?

Yeah.

Yeah, then you keep it moving.

Keep it moving.

Yeah, I love that.

It's fucking awesome, dude.

Yeah.

And then also, what travel tips do you got?

I think you hit one in the middle somewhere, but

in general, it's either anywhere from packing light to somebody said put mushrooms in granola.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah,

if you want to take mushrooms, granola is good.

I,

when I'm more paranoid, I put them in tea bags.

Tea bags is really good.

Put them in there with like some chunky tea.

Yeah.

And like, it just looks like a fucking, it looks like tea.

That's great.

Yeah.

That's great.

That's great.

Solid too.

Yeah, thank you.

But it's got to be like the chunky one.

You know what I mean?

It can't be like the thin.

It's basically look at it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Chaga.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

That's a good one.

What one did I hit?

It was put mushrooms in a bag.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's my tip.

Travel light's a good one, too.

You need less than you think you need.

Don't overdo it.

You want to be able to just get up and go.

You're not going to like the bush in Africa or something where it's like you can just buy a bathing suit.

Totally, totally.

And have it.

Yeah.

But this was awesome.

Yeah, dude.

Thank you.

This was really fun.

Yeah.

It makes me want to go back already.

Yeah, right?

This is what I'm getting.

So the best of these podcasts,

I can feel it on this one, where it's like, oh, I want to get there.

It's just the best.

Like you finish and like, damn it.

It's the fucking best.

Now I'm pissed off.

Yeah.

I'm going to go back.

I'm like, I'm not there.

I'm not going to get to go for at least a year, probably.

There's that scream moan homeless lady outside

in a constant state of distress about her life.

Yeah.

Sick, dude.

Well, that'll do it.

Please go watch the movie, everybody.

Yeah.

Subscribe to the podcast.

Go check out Stav again on

Instagram.

Stavi Baby2.

That's right.

Double V.

The other one was for the

naked it out.

I was too nude.

So fucking lame.

Like, don't be nude.

It's like, why?

It's funny.

Why?

And it's not nude.

I wasn't nude.

Anyway, what are you going to do?

Yeah, we took a series of pictures for my old episode of My Podcast You Did On that I just like

Skype something.

And the internet was like, no, no way.

I'm like, I'm not even, nothing's out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Damn.

Yeah, and the movie out in a couple weeks, I guess.

October 25th.

Yep.

In theaters.

No, 25th, not 21st.

Yeah, 25th.

And if you're...

If it's in your city, please go see it.

And then, you know, it'll probably come out sometime in November on VOD.

We're still figuring all that out.

Go to the movie theater.

Go to the theater.

It's cool.

It's fucking cool.

And it's a 90-minute comedy full of just stupid fucking jokes.

That's it.

All I want to do is a dumb, fun comedy that you will not learn a lesson.

The characters do not become better people.

It's a fucking stupid movie.

Yes.

I don't know why they don't get more comedians.

High-level comedians do funny shit.

So hopefully it goes well.

I'd love.

What's it called again?

Let's Start a Cult.

Let's Start a Cult.

Sick.

When I I saw old Billy Madison, and there's that scene where he's just dancing and singing on the stage.

What is this?

It's just like, it's just a high-level, like, young comic who wants to fuck around with his friends so you get the best shit.

So good, man.

Yeah.

All right, buddy.

Thank you very much.

Well, guys, that is the episode.

Thank you very much, Stavros Halkias.

Interesting.

I like his positivity.

I really like his positivity about all that, about where he is now.

He's in a good, happy place.

It's interesting too how you meet people from other countries and you're like,

if you're at a time in your life when you can really accept it like you did with that, with that artist lady, then it's just like you become an adult.

You're like, I relate to this person now more than my family, less than my family, whatever.

But like, man,

just that,

just thinking clearly on mushrooms.

You don't get anything like that.

Guys, I want to do in this outro a little something from my Patreon podcast,

patreon.com slash you be trippin'.

Sign up now.

The plan is to raise enough money to find somebody,

someone who listens to the podcast or someone you might suggest or anybody, we're going to send them around the world.

We're going to take that money and send them around the world.

You want to be part of that dream with me?

Sign up right now.

You'd be trippin slash no, patreon.com slash you be trippin.

This one's from a guy named Andrew.

Sent me, so they send me postcards and they send, sometimes they send

money.

And this guy sent money.

I want to read to you this

letter.

Because what I want to do is, see back there, I want to fill that up with money from the podcasts episodes we've done.

Banknotes are in the following order.

Saddam Hussein's Iraq due to sanctions.

Oh, cheap.

Venezuela, Uzbekistan, Trinidad and Tobago.

I actually have one that I got myself.

That means I have to do an episode on Trinidad and Tobago.

China, collector note honoring healthcare workers during COVID.

Oh, that was Indonesia.

Did we do an Indonesia episode?

Coming soon.

Poland-Soviet Union, Egypt.

Let's get those, put those up right now.

Fucking Egypt, bro.

Wait, is this Egypt?

Where's the Egypt one?

Damn.

Oh, man, this guy sent me a lot.

If you want to send some bills of a place we've been, I need, you know, anywhere we haven't been yet.

Damn, what are all these?

Did I in the wrong order?

Yep, here it is.

Bro, Egypt with the fucking Sphinx and shit there.

Or this one?

He sent me two.

Bomb.

Those are going up.

And then China.

This is honoring the healthcare workers.

All right.

What is this one?

This is just a regular China

Suriname.

Wait, Rupia?

Is that India?

Bank of Indonesia.

Okay, well, we got to get back to that one.

But let's put up this China one right now and this Egypt one.

Today's episode of You Be Tripping was edited by Alan Caffey.

I mean...

Yeah, I'm going to do this 10.

It's a 1.

I got a fucking, I got to decide maybe I'll do more

Was episode by edited by Alan produced by your mom's house network Tom Segora rescued me out of

You know a fucking existence that would have

Launched me into nothingness for forever.

Yeah, I mean it's this one a one.

It's a ten.

Oh interesting

Anywhere we've been I want to put these bills.

So if you guys got any from a place we've been they don't have any.

Here's what I got so far: a US five, Joey Diaz.

Boom, that is

so cool.

That is so cool.

Where's the China one?

Yeah, right here.

Honoring healthcare workers.

Interesting.

Damn.

Should we put this?

Oh, so I got, what do I I got here?

Oh, it doesn't stick.

Didn't put it on.

The hell?

Of course, the Chinese shit doesn't work.

Of course, the Chinese shit doesn't work.

So here's what I've got.

A US 5, Joey Diaz, Canada.

Did I not do Canada yet?

Oh, that's a mistake.

That is a mistake.

Let's see.

Mexico we did.

This is

Korea's coming.

I already recorded an episode.

Romania, I recorded an episode from there.

UK, Egypt, all these.

Mexico.

Where is that?

Oh, I remember that.

I remember it.

Also, I got this.

I just recorded with Ian Sterling an episode about Copenhagen.

Should I put it up now or should I wait till the episode where that airs?

That's a good question.

Anyway, and then something else I do for the podcast, come with me.

And I read these postcards from around the world.

I forgot the fucking

and I put them up on there.

If you want to send a postcard, send it to 151 First Avenue, number 49, New York, New York, 10003.

Market, address it to UB Trippin'.

Who's our routes?

And I have postcards from everywhere.

I want to fill up this whole wall.

I read those.

It's fun.

Make me as part of your trips.

It's very cool.

This is from Sasha.

I thought I'd send you a card to help fill the wall.

I got this from Zarutz, Spain, a small beach city near San Sebastian.

It was a really cool town with chill vibe and a lot of surfing.

I bet you fucked.

When you say chill vibe, that means I had non-important sex

with your bikini top still on.

That's what I'm thinking.

I think you left your bikini top on and just kind of slid it in and didn't make a big deal of it the next day.

And if he was like, hey, are we cool?

And you're like, oh, yeah, chill vibe.

Let's go surfing.

We played in a Donasti Cup.

What?

In Donesti Cup in San Sebastian, which is a huge soccer football tournament.

Oh.

With teams competing from all over the world.

We lost in the finals in PKs, which has sucked, but we got to

this little thing

because which sucked, but we got to play in the real Sociodad Stadium, which is a pretty dope experience.

Loved San Sebastian too

from Sasha Silverman.

Well, thank you, Sasha.

Look at this card.

Fucking cool.

Oh, yeah, Correo International.

Look, see the

postmark and everything there.

So, people send these all over

when they're on vacation.

And hopefully, when you're on vacation, I hope you think of me.

And send me a postcard.

Send me a postcard if you want to send a letter with a bill of a place I haven't been.

Where have we been?

I mean, India.

I definitely need some Indian rupees.

Where else?

Where else?

Where else have we been?

Oh,

not Lebanon.

Jordan.

Need some Jordanian money.

Now we got Egypt.

I need some shekels.

I should be able to find some shekels on my own.

Where else have we been?

Sicily?

Australia.

I need some Australian money.

I didn't find any of this last time.

Oh, so it's an up and down one.

Okay, let's put it there.

Let's put it right here.

Yeah, sign up, guys.

Patreon.com slash you be tripping.

Three episodes a week at your service.

There's also a Discord in there.

I'm going to start reading out stuff from there, and I'm going to start doing,

well, I have a few things going on.

I'm going to start reading

comments from podcasts I'm on, from other people's.

Just see what fucking dumbasses people are.

And that's it.

I got nothing else to tell you.

Don't forget that pre-sale coming October 16th for all these dates.

Atlanta is the big one.

Vancouver, Seattle, Edmonton, Calgary.

Giant theaters I'm doing.

It'll all be up for sale then.

Nashville, Schaumburg,

you know, all the ones I said.

Could you just list them all?

Would you mind listing all the ones I said?

Look, look, look, look, look, look, look.

If you're on YouTube.

Next week's episode.

So we finished the fucking final fat.

The final fat, which was

Stavros.

And now, what do you think for October?

Maybe a spooky.

Here's the ones I really want to get to.

I really want to get to Hamilton Morris.

By the way, your suggestions of who to book have really helped me out.

I reached out to Action Bronson, reached out to David Cho.

David Cho is receptive but never comes to New York.

Let's see.

What am I talking about now?

But anyway, maybe do a spooky October.

I don't know.

Fuck.

I got to plan next week.

I got to plan next week.

Rolf Potts, I got to get on.

Forget the spooky October.

Who should be next week?

Maybe Harlot Williams.

His was so fucking cool.

All right, well, tune in next week.

Guys, please subscribe wherever you're watching.

And you can, you know, I'm almost at 100,000 subscribers.

Also, leave a comment for the algorithm.

And that's it.

Austin, Tahoe, Pittsburgh, Providence, Salt Lake City, Braya, Nashville, New Jersey, Tampa, Denver, Schaumburg, Atlanta, Jacksonville, San Jose, Fort Lauderdale, Seattle, Vancouver, Edmonton, Calgary, Portland, and maybe

Dallas, San Antonio, Spokane, Boise.

I need a name for my tour.

If you can suggest anything, it might be the farewell tour.

I'm not doing any dates.

Oh, and Alaska, Anchorage, Alaska,

in June.

I'm not going to be doing any dates after that until probably 2027.

So there will be no added cities.

There'll be added shows, late shows and stuff.

But no added cities.

And that's it.

I'm touring

December some.

Austin's already sold out.

If Tahoe happens, it'll be in December.

And then just January, February, March, and the first weekend of April.

That's it.

And then that Anchorage gig in June.

And that's it for 27.

So farewell tour.

That's it.

Until next week.

Maybe Harlan Williams.

That's a good idea.

I like Harlan.

This was so fucking cool.

He went on a trip around the world.

Usually I tell people, like, no, no, just do like one country.

But Harlan's like, buddy, I think this is more interesting than that.

And so

I don't want to ruin any of it for you.

Fuck.

Let's plan on Harlan.

And if not,

I don't know.

I don't know.

Okay, until next week.

Wait, where were we this week?

Oh, I need to say goodbye

and greet.

I know this.

I know this.

Goodbye, Greek.

I know this.

I was just there.

Goodbye, Greek.

Okay, here we go.

Avrio.

Adio.

Oh, it's kind of like a do.

Damn, his language is so fucking great.

Anyway, now I'm just meandering.

Goodbye.

See you next week.