Italy w/ Paul Virzi | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

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How long were you in LA for?

First 12 years of comedy.

Oh, okay.

And then here for another 12?

I remember, wow,

212 now?

That's crazy.

I still feel new, right?

Dude, I remember like the first weekend I met you at the stand.

You were like, hey, yeah, dude, that was...

You've been here 12 years, dude.

Yeah.

It adds up.

You actually did it smart.

You came at the best time.

You came, I feel like LA was starting to, not that it was like dipping.

It's still L.A.

It still has the comedy store and stuff, but New York was like popping off with the cellar, the stand had opened, the stand became hot.

I came like a month after the stand open, maybe two months after.

Like, and the stand popped.

Like, they didn't think the stand was going to become like the Eastside seller, which it is.

Oh, my God.

It was like the preeminent.

I mean, you talk to anybody, especially at the old like Third Street stand, and it was like, I've talked to people through other people that didn't know me.

Like, oh, no, we've been there like four or five times.

It's just like a thing to do in New York.

Yeah.

People actually now say it used to always be the seller.

People now go, oh, are you stand or seller?

Or do you like, with a stand or seller?

Because the stand just does it right.

Like, you do it right.

You can get it.

I mean, I don't like that somebody's eating octopus in front of me when I'm fucking, you know,

yeah, like there's pizzas and octopus, but it's, it's awesome, dude.

Yeah, it is tough when you're on stage.

You're like, damn, I am hungry.

Oh, dude, there was a pepperoni in front of me, and I said, I go, dude, that looks good.

They're like, you want a slice?

I go, I already look like such a kidney.

Short answer, yes.

Long answer, I can't take it.

I can't take it.

I'm not going to get it.

And you see them the whole time.

You're like, I don't think you guys are still eating.

Oh, dude.

I think that's a leftover slice.

Because you could actually look at it and go

back 45 minutes of waiting.

That pizza hasn't been touched in 45 minutes.

Yeah, and you're like sitting there, like, they haven't been eating while I've been on.

You've slowed down.

I mean, maybe you pick at it again, but I'm like,

you're going to throw that out.

Yeah.

Were you there the night?

I don't think you were there, dude.

Renazizi was there.

There was a kid that lost his, I didn't, nobody knew that what it was, but I get on stage and I look to the left, front row, left of the stand

at the stand.

He has a giant steak with the huge tomahawk.

And everybody commented on it.

And every time somebody commented on it, the place went nuts.

I go last.

So it was Renazizi.

And then I go, and I just look and I go, holy fuck, and the place went nuts.

He lost his fantasy football league.

And his punishment was to get the biggest steak.

Oh, Renazi's the perfect guy to point that out.

And they went nuts because Renazizi was in the league.

And then, like, so the whole thing, and then I shit on him afterwards.

They were like, dude, it was everything that we ever wanted.

And this kid had to eat it.

He had to eat.

And part of the thing is, he had to eat it.

And dude, it must have been, I mean, it was gigantic with the big tomahawk thing, and they had it on a wooden thing.

Like,

and he had to eat it.

And every, like, and I just go, dude, that like in mid-mid-joke, I go, that's the biggest fucking stick I ever see.

And the place went nuts.

I didn't know what was going on.

And then I found out it was all.

But no, that's the only thing that the stand does that can be distracting is like there's oysters in there.

It's so funny.

It's so funny.

Yeah, you rarely you hear laughter, you hear silence.

I hear plenty of silence when I'm on stage.

I rarely hear it.

You want to stow go away do this or no?

Either way.

What?

Either way.

I mean, it's up to you.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Great.

Fucking hell yeah.

All right.

That's

the episode when I get better.

I can't say no to that.

Where you been and where you going?

This is our Reese Travel Show.

Yeah.

We're going to talk about travel today.

It's you be tripping.

Yeah.

Hi, guys.

Welcome to UB Trippin'.

It's a travel podcast.

I take a guest and he tells me about a great place he's been and occasionally even a woman.

But today, it's back to the normal.

A man.

Paul Versey.

What's up, bud?

Thanks for coming in.

No.

Where are we going today?

We, I mean, look,

I actually have traveled a lot of places, but I could not come on this show

and

not talk about the motherland.

You got to greet it up.

I got to talk about the motherland and I got to talk about Italy.

Been multiple times.

Going again next year.

Okay.

Okay.

Now, before you go, do you fake tan?

No.

Oh, okay.

Spray tan?

I don't need to.

Yeah, I go outside for 10 minutes.

Listen, I'm going to tell you before we start, I'm not going to try to.

It's going to come out.

There's going to be a lot of anti-Italian jokes there.

Okay, great.

But it's weird because you're so like,

you're kind of like, here's what you don't understand about Italians.

Jews and Italians are extremely similar.

Extremely.

Dude, my father married.

My father's 100% Sicilian.

His wife is Jewish.

Wow.

Yeah, after my mother, my mother's Greek.

So I'm half and half.

They got divorced when I was little.

And my father.

Greeks and Italians also overlap a lot.

Greeks and Italians overlap a lot, but there's a little bit of a

behind back.

Like Greeks are like, we're better, and Italians are like, I'm better.

There's kind of that, yeah, we're similar, but we're the shit.

Here's why I was so similar.

Both brag about stuff from 2,000 years ago.

Oh, oh,

Yannis.

We started the alphabet.

Yannis and the other side of the story.

We started numbers.

And I'm like, yeah, what did you do, Yannis?

You didn't do that.

We'll talk about how civilization started.

But what I found through

dating

Jewish women, my father having a Jewish wife, Jews and Italians are unbelievably similar.

Their priorities are different with certain things.

What are we talking about?

Blowjobs?

What's that?

We're talking about blowjobs.

What are we talking about?

I mean, that could be something we talk about.

Yeah.

How are they different?

Jews and Italians who are Beijes.

But you grew up in New York because it's a different kind of Jew.

What?

OGJ.

Well, from, you know, Jewish women love it, I think.

Yeah, I used to think they didn't swallow, but I've been lately hearing a lot of stories that they quite do.

Yeah, but I, dude, as far as like,

I didn't realize how much Jews care about the food being good as much as Italians.

A lot of people talk about how Italians talk about the foods, foods.

Dude, you ever talk to fucking

Jewish people about a restaurant that they went to that is good?

It's like talking to an Italian.

They don't shut up about it.

They'll talk about the service.

They'll talk about the pricing.

They talk about everything.

Did you ever date an Italian girl?

I have before.

Very, I mean,

I didn't know enough to have enough data points to really get involved.

But extremely hairy pussies.

Really?

Yeah.

I mean, like...

No trimming?

Not the one I'm thinking of.

What a gorgeous lady, but man, that bush was like a separate fucking entity.

Wow.

I think she might have been too young.

Some of these girls have to learn how to be a fucking adult.

I think that, like, if you saw a big bush, especially in like, you know, these times, you trim it down a little bit.

It was 25 years ago.

Oh, okay.

But yeah.

So Italy.

When did you start going?

Let's get into it.

I'm going to pull the map here.

The first time I went to Italy, I believe I was 11 or 12.

Really?

Yeah, 11 or 12 years old.

Oh, yeah.

Dude, I was eating.

And then

we went not longer.

You know what I did?

I did a transatlantic, dude.

I flew to Venice, and then we took a 15-night cruise that sailed back to New York.

Really?

That's why the Democrats lost because they were focused on transatlantic.

Four days at sea.

The horizon is all water.

Wow.

So you fly to Venice.

You do a bunch of ports in Italy.

You stop in Lisbon, Portugal.

Yeah.

Okay.

So where's Lisbon?

Over here.

Yep.

So you stop in Lisbon.

That's the last of the fucking

land.

And then that whole fucking thing right there on the map, all that water, four days to New York.

Wow.

Why?

Cheaper?

No, it's just a fucking.

No, I'm actually way more expensive.

I mean, it was like.

Isn't it crazy how high up Portugal is?

Yeah.

Like, it's like Nova Scotia level.

Dude, right when we got off the port in Lisbon, they were just, hashish, hashish, you want weed?

You want drugs?

You want your dude right when you got off?

Wow.

Because that's what they know you need.

It's hard to smuggle them on.

To get them on, to get weed or drug, whatever on the thing.

So it's like, come sell me some.

And it was like when camcorders, like, like, this is like when the smaller camcorders were bigger, like were like became big.

It wasn't that, it was like, keep going.

And my brother was videoing me get off the port, and my dad saw it.

And, like, not that it mattered because I was clearly old enough, but my dad just watched me do a drug transaction.

Wow.

He just watched me buy hash from this guy in Lisbon.

So then when you got back on the port in Lisbon, four nights at sea.

Caught the last two days, caught the tail end of two hurricanes because it was September, October.

And just 18-foot waves crashing into the side of the boat.

Now, granted, you're on a hotel on the water, but you fucking felt it.

People throwing up, running.

You heard dishes breaking.

It was fucking wild.

And it was like top-notch.

Like, this isn't carnival.

This is like everybody in there, everybody to be on the thing was like six grand each.

Then you're talking food.

Then you're talking.

I mean, this thing was top, top-notch.

Jesus.

Oh, but let's go to Italy, though.

Let's go to Italy.

Yeah.

The best thing about this podcast is every time it's sidetracked, I can be like, oh, no, no.

I have an exact reason.

We got to come back.

We got to come back to a place.

So, okay, so just start.

I don't know.

Tell me about it.

What are the people like?

What are the food like?

What did you get into while you were there?

So, here's what I could say about Italy.

It is definitely, and you hear this about Asia too, but the food in America, that version is not the food there.

That's like China.

Yeah, it's like China.

It's like chai balls.

So, pizza in Italy is not fucking Joe's on carmine near the cellar.

I mean, a thousand percent no.

It is smaller.

It is like a thin, crispy.

The sauce tastes different.

It's a different thing.

Okay.

Yeah.

So you're not, like, that's what people don't understand.

Like, as a matter of fact, my

father, who's 100% Sicilian, my grandmother came here from Sicily at 10 years old, didn't speak a lick of English.

Yeah.

He did not like the food in Italy compared to the food here because he was so Americanized with deal parme.

He was so Americanized with going and getting a slice like we would get here in the city.

Then when you go there, it's almost like these personal that was different, delicious, and its own taste, but different.

Yeah, sometimes you're like, well, I don't like something.

And he's like, why?

Like, because this, like, well, that's not better or worse.

That's just different.

You're just showing me the difference.

You're not telling me quality.

I enjoyed it, but it wasn't like going to Joe's.

Interesting.

It wasn't like, yeah.

So.

Dude, one time we were in San Francisco

and

me, Rogan, Diaz, and we asked the club owner, Tom Sawyer.

We're like, hey, Joey, he's like, I want Chinese food.

I want the most authentic you can find.

I want the authentic stuff.

Give me that.

He's like, okay, I got a place for you.

And whatever it was, it wasn't, you know, whatever that version of Wohub.

And

we get out there after the shows.

We're starving it because Soap and Lay's perfect.

And he's just kind of like,

you know, it's just kind of playing with his food with a fork.

And he goes, what's the matter, Joey?

He goes, it's too authentic.

You don't want these things.

Yeah, you gotta

guts in here.

That's the thing.

Like, when you go to Italy, even the pasta, everything, it's delicious, but it has its own taste.

So, what do you mean?

How is it different?

Do they lean on what, like, I know they don't call it gravy or sauce.

They call it something else.

Hey, guys, I got to break into today's episode to let you know a little bit about the guest.

Paul Verzee.

He's a great comic.

He's a fucking hilarious guy and a good friend of mine.

I've had great times with him.

Legitimately, I'm trying to think right now of our tailgating party.

Me, Renazisi, and him went tailgating outside a Giants game.

What a fucking blast.

Cigars, jello shooters.

Some dudes were like right next to us and they were all Giants fan.

I didn't have my cowboy stuff on.

And

they were like, Hey, we have a mask, actually, a Lucha Libre mask with a funnel.

And they're like, Do you want to do one?

I was like, Yeah, guys, of course.

Let me get back to the bathroom.

And then I got back from the bathroom, and then I did it, put the mask on, funnel the fucking chug the beer.

And then they go, What do you say about the Giants?

I'm like, Go, boys, fuck you.

They were like, No, boo.

Fun times.

Uh, Verse's also got a special right now called Reasonable Man.

It's up on youtube.com.

Uh, it's on paulyoutube.com/slash at the Paul Versey.

Great new special.

Check it out.

Reasonable man.

Also, his old Netflix special is now back up on

YouTube called Nocturnal Admissions.

Admissions.

Interesting.

So I was telling them before, guys, you're going to see this a lot from stand-up comedians.

The Netflix deals are, they are licensing deals.

They're two-year licensing deals.

For I'll tell you the exact for $200,000.

At the end of the

two years, you get it back.

You can do whatever you want with it.

So you should put it up on YouTube, whatever.

But it's two years.

They have have the option to pay you another $400 to keep it up for four more years.

They're not going to do that except for like Shane or somebody massive that they don't want to like lose.

And it's an excuse to like pay them more money to keep them happy.

So what you're going to see now is a lot of comics be embarrassed that Netflix didn't pick up their special, which is ridiculous because who cares?

They're not going to.

They were never going to.

But they're putting it up.

Paul's hand on the writer goes, it's up now.

But a lot of them are going, I thought to get it back.

They couldn't silence this.

That's all a lie.

It was always only going to be for two years.

You'll see my special that's up on Netflix right now.

What is it?

America's Sweetheart.

You can get this, by the way.

Ooh.

Stay positive t-shirt.

There's also like 10 Feidelberg shirts left.

But you can get the Stay Positive shirt right now at AriShafir.com.

But,

and this.

But I'll put it up day what?

As soon as that two years goes, it's up on YouTube.

I'm not fighting to get it back.

Anyway, whatever.

The point is, go watch Paul Versey.

He's hilarious.

Noctural Admissions is his Netflix one.

But the new one is Reasonable Man.

Check it out right now.

He's also on the road.

Paulversey.com for tickets.

In September, he's going to be in Morris Plains, New Jersey.

Then in October, Sacramento, San Francisco, Toronto.

Then he's going on to Addison, Texas, Houston, Monasquan, New Jersey at the Alconquin Arts Theater, and Newtown, Connecticut at the Edmontown Center.

Go to paulversee.com for all tickets.

I am not doing anything.

So all I'm promoting is Ubi Trippin' stickers that you can get at RAShafir.com that you should stick up anywhere.

There's three colors.

This boom, this boom, and

this one's a clear one for your passports.

Can you see it?

There?

Means you can stick up anywhere.

What I'd like you to do is put them up in like antiquities and things like that, you know, and Frank's house.

Maybe not that.

But like on a pyramid whatever anything and then take a picture of it and uh tag the you'd be tripping um social media at ub trippin' pod on instagram um

yeah take a close one and take a far run it could be pretty cool get your own t-shirts i have the you'd be tripping shirts got to get everything but really i want you to subscribe and click the reminder to let you know when new episodes are coming out um

i think that's it Oh, if you have got your Shroomfest shirt, this is pretty much your last chance to buy it to guarantee delivery by shroomfest which is september 6th 7th and 8th if you don't know what shroom fest is it's just an excuse to do mushrooms you should all do mushrooms september 6th 7th or 8th that's all wherever you are we all meet up on you know in another plane of existence and we just like dance in the streets together out there on mushrooms Or you can take a small amount and just go to a party.

People ask, like, do you want to get obliterated mushrooms?

Sometimes just at a party is nice.

You're talking to some norm core person, but you're on like a cap and a stem.

And then you'd be like, whoa, so HR, human resource.

That's pretty interesting.

You're in the resource of humans, which is really our finest resource.

And then those people are like, your friend Ari was really cool.

I'm like, yeah, I was interested in you because of the mushrooms.

Reality is your life's so fucking boring.

HR, but you get into it with a cap and a stem.

Shroom Fest.

Get t-shirts right now.

Let's get back to the episode.

Paul, take us to Italy.

From my experience, I would say that it's less filling.

It's not as fucking like gluttonous as here.

Interesting.

Like here, I think everything is just like more.

Wow.

I think it's lighter.

I feel like the pasta is a little fresher there.

You know, of course, yeah, our pizza slices are way bigger

with way too much cheese.

I think there they care more about the sauce thanks.

Covering sauce.

Like, don't have any dry pieces.

Yeah, there's people that want way more cheese than sauce.

I never understood that.

Sauce it up.

Sauce is amazing.

But really sauce it up.

I want leftover sauce at the end.

Yes.

I want my plate to be like, oh, I had way more sauce.

Maybe I could dip my crust in sauce.

Yeah, whatever the bread left over.

Now I'll get that.

You don't want to be out of sauce looking to coat your fucking pizza.

We should have gotten pizza for this episode.

We should have got pizza.

Yeah.

That's a bunch of SMR.

No, but another thing that really sticks out the first time, believe it or not, my memory of being there,

my memory of being there 11, 12 years old is as good as it was like recently.

It's

no, like

we're at a cafe we're at a cafe yeah having a little piece of pizza you could get coffee and the coliseum is there really like the fucking coliseum okay you're sitting yeah so

if you yeah so yeah there is cafes like when i tell you

so you could like eat and you watch it no no dude you're you're like from

from where your block is yeah if i'm on your stoop yeah your stairs across the street is a Coliseum, and you have a slice.

Wow, you have a slice, and you just see that.

And you have a coffee, and you're just sitting there with a coffee.

And yeah, you're just sitting there with a coffee and talking like this.

And it would be me and you smoking a cigar, going like, oh, can you believe gladiators fall?

And it's right there.

So like, that's the one thing that I was just like, holy shit, like one of the most historic things ever.

And you're just eating a slice and you're just having this like amazing.

And you notice it when you're there.

You're like, you realize you're in that moment.

Yeah.

A lot of people don't like Rome.

A lot of people are like, my mother-in-law just went for weeks and she was like, yeah, least favorite.

We went to the Amalfi Coast and we did this, which is nice.

She's like, yeah, Rome was our least favorite.

And I'm going like.

Why?

Well, I don't, I think because it's a city.

I think because it's a city hustle and bustle.

Another thing that people do not know about Italy is you will die crossing the street.

If you, they, this is great.

This is exactly what I'm looking for.

What do you mean?

Yeah.

This is the correct.

Ari just perfect.

Yeah.

This is not the lonely planet version of it.

No, no, no, no.

This is this is the, if you are not cautious walking, they are, first of all, the cars are little, like those little fucking fiats, the little fiats,

and they are flying, and there is absolutely no respect for the, for the pedestrian.

So if you are crossing the street, you will get hit, you will get killed, you have to wait for the lights.

These motherfuckers zip by.

Oh, no, it's a big part of it.

Oh, wow.

When you go there, you go to the hotel, they go, when you're walking, you have to wait for the sign.

There is no,

they'll knock you, they'll kill you.

It's

yeah, so does people jaywalk or they just don't?

That's the thing.

If you jaywalk, it's like at your own risk.

You jaywalk, there's a chance a loved one's gone.

Wow.

Yeah.

You ever go to these cities where they don't jaywalk?

Like, like, you'll be like, the light, like, it's red, but like, no cards are going to be.

You start to go, like, wait, what am I, what am I looking at?

People, like, not going.

You're like, am I ready?

Yeah, well, that's the New Yorker in us, too.

We're like, we're like professional, like,

we're professional streetwalkers.

Yeah.

You know,

no, these places,

Italy is very much just get out of my fucking way.

You're in the wrong.

No, no, you, you, you know, like, it's like that.

Yeah.

So that was the one thing that stuck out is that like you have to watch the signs.

You have to cross with the tourists and with everybody else.

No jaywalking.

And yeah.

Is it hella touristy in Rome?

Yeah.

Like annoyingly?

I mean, yeah, because you'll see people, you'll just see the groups of tourists.

You know, you'll see the groups of tourists.

But I guess you get that everywhere, right?

Well, it's a question.

It's like two things.

Like, one, the the groups of tourists take you, you want to feel like you're just there living like the locals, but it's, it's, it's tourist city, so you're not going to.

So the groups of tourists take you out of it, but the hawkers is what I hate, where people bugging you to buy stuff or take a tour or sign up.

That, but it's to no end, it bugs me.

Didn't get that.

Didn't get that that much in Italy.

Okay.

You know, like the hotel just tells you what you could sign up for, like what you want to do.

Yeah, but also on the streets, they're not bugging you?

No, no, not that I could remember.

But like, look, if you even look at that picture to the right, on the bottom right,

that looks like a like a tour guide or like you know or oh this one right here

No, no, no, the one to the right all the way to the right of that same picture that you're on if you go to the right corner bottom right corner.

Yeah, so like right there.

They probably are listening to

but that's fine.

I mean I'll do that at the Met sometimes where they're giving you like a like the Momo or whatever

you kind of like lean back or there's they'll be they'll do um around around here.

They'll do um

uh mural tours.

Yeah, oh yeah yeah.

And then if I'm walking by, I slide it on my shoe.

Maz Gibrani just did a whole thing on that.

Maz Gibrani, he just put a video and he goes, Here's a hack.

He goes, Just go to a place and just wait for the tourist group, the tour guide, and just stand there and just listen.

Yeah, just listen.

They can't, what are they going to do?

Fight you?

Yeah, you're just standing there at the Louvre.

Can't see it.

In Paris, everybody's standing there with headsets.

You just listen.

Even if you get 20% of it,

you're getting something.

You're getting something.

So Rome is more like a city, but it has shit like that where you could just have a coffee and watch it.

We went in there.

I went in there and it was ruins.

I actually got pictures up got a ruins list.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

Oh, you got to send me some pictures.

I'll send you some pictures for the episode.

Yeah.

How big is it?

I mean, I'm seeing that in this window right here.

You see people are like, oh, that kind of shows you the scale.

You know, it's funny.

Those people seem tiny.

I was like, what about doing a comedy tour and getting a bunch of people?

And then someone's like, yeah, Schultz already tried.

Schultz tried to do it.

But there's so many ruins.

Like in the middle, you couldn't even have people standing.

Dude, I went to the Parthenon in Greece

and the first theater theater is there right on the Mount Olympus or whatever.

And you see it and I took a picture for Bert.

I'm like, hey, here's your next tour.

He's like, oh, sick, yeah, I would do that.

Where is that?

And I'm like, oh, I forgot you were so dumb.

God.

It was a joke.

That was a good suggestion.

Where is that?

Yeah, but no, dude, like you see, and then, you know, they'll tell you like

where the lions, where the tigers came out.

That's like crazy.

Like, yeah, like Joe Bartnick was just there, and he had a private thing where he was able to go underground where the gladiators waited to come up.

And he was there, and he took a picture from it.

So I'll have him send that to you.

But so, so we did not, I did not do that.

But you can, when you go there, there is an underground thing under the ground there that where the gladiators waited.

So when you watch Russell Crow and they're waiting to come up, that's there.

Wow.

So these motherfuckers were sitting there, basically waiting to go to their death in the Coliseum with fucking the Emperor and everybody cheering like Yankee Stadium.

I just got the chills thinking about that.

Wow.

Dude, this in place in the world where it's so

Jerusalem's one, this,

where

you can just,

because of this, still stand it, you can imagine what it was like then.

Yes.

You know, very well.

You can see it and feel it.

Like, I get it.

I get it.

In Havana, where me and Bobby just were, you can imagine 1940.

You know, you can't imagine year 1000, but like here is like, you get it.

No, when you see that and you see like the architecture, you see that, you're like, oh, that place was packed with people waiting for people to die.

Screaming, huh?

Like, screaming.

Dressed like that.

Like, UFC, but to the death.

To the death.

So, like, when we leave Yankee Stadium, right?

And we're like, dude, that's home Soto hit.

They're like, when that guy's head got lobbed off by that, when that lion ripped that guy's, and they got to see that.

Oh, that was a great one.

They're high-fiving.

It hung on for a minute, and then it lasted skin tour.

Oh, yeah.

Me, and you were like, dude, judging Stanton back to back again.

These guys are like, dude, when that lion ripped that guy's face off and then the emperor stood up, that was sick.

Yeah.

They're betting on which one lasts longer.

I can't believe you bet on the more.

Well, they more usually last longer.

They're wily.

The darker skinned ones are always stronger.

But they have experience with lion fighting.

The dark ones are faster.

No, but like, that's really, like, I agree with you.

When you look at that shit, you're like, man, that's fucking like, that's.

Yeah, and I mean, to eat a slice of pizza across the street from that and stare at it and talk about it was that that was the craziest part of Rome for me.

And Rome was where we stayed.

Like, Rome was like where we first flew in, where we stayed.

Yeah.

It was.

How expensive a town is it?

It's, I mean, now it's more.

You know, from when I was a kid and then

the second time in Italy did not go to Rome, but when I was there, it was half of what it is now I mean it was now it's yeah now it's they gouge people now you know

because I think they need it like no they had it they had COVID rough they had they had it rough and uh you know they lost a lot of people they lost a lot of businesses so like I think they jack up the price tourist towns too are like oh shit you're relying on an industry that just went away for three years yeah that's that's kind of wild when I was in the Galapagos so there was like that's all tourism you know there's no no one was no one lived there it was all animals oh really so was it one of the only like places where they're like they didn't displace anybody?

Oh, shit.

Now, have you been to Italy or no?

I've been to the very, very north of Italy.

I was hiking

in Austria, along the Austria-Italy border.

Wow.

All along here.

And then at some point...

Oh, shit.

What the fuck?

What the fuck just happened?

At some point,

they...

We stayed in Italy one night.

There was like a glacier.

I'll never be able to find it in here.

Glacier Lake.

And it was like, we stayed mostly in Austria, and then we like went right over here to Italy.

So that's it.

No, actually, I went back with my brother.

We were going to go skiing in Zermatt, but there was no snow in Zermatt.

So we're like, let's go to Italy instead.

You take this train through a mountainside, but dude, as soon as you get,

it's Swiss, Swiss, Swiss, Swiss, Swiss language.

You cross the border.

It's, hey, you go to

the bottom.

Like the second, there's not even an overlap area.

You just get over and it changes.

Yeah.

I mean, it's wild.

You go to San Diego, people still speak Spanish.

Yeah.

You know, it's like there's a little bit of like no no it's it's completely different because you know all these amazing countries border each other but I'm gonna tell you my favorite place yeah okay hi everybody today's episode of you've been tripping is brought to you by shopify.com whatever you're selling shopify can help you get you started and what I'm selling is false Italian bravado guys you've all met italians and they have this bravado and you're like where are you getting it from well they bought it online from AriShafir.com Shopify helped me build a beautiful online store to match my brand style hey you think you got a better store oh yeah you want me to come back there You want me to come back there and show you?

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So my favorite place in this world,

in this world, is Venice, Italy.

Okay.

Venice, Italy is by far one of, I'll tell you a funny story.

Wow, I didn't even know it was an island like that.

So all the streets are water.

That's there.

I didn't realize it was on the water.

No, no, you can't.

I thought it was like in here-ish.

No, no, you can't go anywhere unless.

So when you get out of your hotel, you have to get on a gondola.

Is that real?

Oh, no, that's real.

For wow.

No, no, no.

All the, all the, yeah, like, oh, that's it.

See?

Like, if you want to go anywhere, but like, look, that's across the street.

So, like, those gondolas that are there, they'll come in and they sit, and sometimes they sing, and you and your family sit in it, and you go, We want to go to that restaurant there.

And they fucking row you to it.

And so, the locals also take gondolas?

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

So, it's not just but there's also, but there is also bridges.

If you, there's a if you go far enough,

There's bridges that go over in the town.

So you could just come out of your hotel and walk over the.

But here or there.

It's not like everybody.

No, no, no, no.

It's not everywhere.

No, it's not everywhere.

I got a great one for you.

Are you ready for this?

I'm in Italy.

Okay, yes, dude.

It's fucking nuts, dude.

You get on that, and the food was amazing.

Venice.

And Venice is where they blow the glass.

So we went to, they make all the glass.

We went to the factory, and it looks like taffy.

And they're making glass.

Like, they're just hot.

Like, you know, when it's like red red hot?

Yeah.

Like,

and they got the whole thing, and it's like a red ball.

And then they go like this.

Yeah.

And they're just shaping the glass in Venice.

You watch them, how they make the most beautiful glass that you could ever have.

David Jihuli's from there.

This artist that's like known for glass making.

Oh, dude.

Ask him about the glass blowing in Venice.

It's insane.

David Jihuli.

American.

Okay.

Wow.

And

interesting.

Okay.

So all of a sudden, we're in Venice and we're looking.

Who's the way?

And me, my dad, my brother, my grandmother.

Okay.

Okay, rest her soul.

She was from Sicily, but we're in Venice.

Should we give up?

And

yeah, sure, you could do that.

Thank you.

And all of a sudden, we look and we just see this floating

thing that looked like a floating stage.

And we're going, what's that?

Floating stage.

And the guy goes, oh, the concert this week at the Pink of Floyd.

The Pink of Floyd.

Dude, Pink Floyd played in Venice on a floating stage.

What?

Dude, Pink Floyd.

You got pictures of that?

Pink Floyd.

Okay.

Pink.

Yeah, go Pink Floyd Venice.

Pink Floyd Venice.

Dude, yeah.

Yep.

That's it.

That's it.

Right there.

So you can see the stage right there.

Where?

Yeah.

Yep.

1989.

I was there.

What?

I was there.

1989.

1989 was when I was 11.

That's when we first went.

And the guy goes,

the guy, yep, dude, how sick is that?

No, no, no.

Ari, the stage is floating.

They built a barge.

What?

Weighed down, so they probably had like these giant sandbags or whatever.

And fucking Pink Floyd just rocked out in the water in Venice.

With all the special effects they do with it all the special effects they do with like boats and everything.

Oh, you can see the city in the background a little bit.

We had left.

We had left because we were on a street.

How are you going to go to Pink Floyd with your grandmother?

And I'm like,

and I'm 11.

Yeah.

Right.

Or like, I'm 11 or 12.

But all we heard all week, the pink of Floyd, the pink of Floyd.

So we saw the stage that they built for him.

So they had to take boats.

The band had to take boats and shit.

To get out there?

To get out there.

So they had to do multiple trips to get the drums out there, to get the speakers out there.

And they're on a floating fucking barge.

And they fucking rocked it, I heard.

Wow.

I mean, they never don't.

They never didn't.

I have a t-shirt that's me on a gondola.

And yeah, look at that.

How sick is that?

Pink Floyd performing in Venice on this day, 1989.

Yes, sir.

Wow.

Yes, sir.

what a ballsy band that was dude dude and your boy was there we were there we saw that we saw that thing floating and we were like we were walking on the street trees they're going hey what's that because it was like it wasn't packed or anything and they go oh this weekend the pink of floyd the pink of floyd but um so i probably shouldn't say this but i could say it now because it doesn't matter uh you'll get a kick out of this so we were on a tour okay my dad was like i want it done right he goes we're gonna go on a bus tour they're taking us to capri we're gonna you know we went into the i went into that fucking blue in the in the cave the I'll show you the caves of Capri okay I said that that's coming okay so anyway we go and we go to like when when the tour would take you to a hotel you had your room and one of the rooms I think we were in Salerno or Sorrent and our room was fucking tiny my dad

My dad my dad went to the lobby and he called the we are a lot alike

we are I we are a lot alike this is this is you're gonna love this story

he's old now it doesn't matter yeah He called the travel agent from the hotel, and he said, me and my family are in Sorrent right now, and this room is so fucking unacceptable.

He said, we're going to Venice next couple days.

He says, if my room in Venice is like this, I'm going to come home and kill you.

Now we're a little different.

He said, now we're a little different.

He said, if this is a good thing.

It's a good refund and a bad review from us.

He goes, my two boys and my mother are here.

If fucking Venice,

I'm going to come home.

I'm going to fucking kill you.

Dude, they gave us the Donna Summer.

They gave us the Donna's Donna Summer suite.

Yeah, it was two floors.

My dad was running around like a little kid.

You go upstairs, the shower was gigantic.

The shower was the size of this room, marble, and he's running around.

It was right by a bridge that went over.

And on like the lifestyles of the rich and famous, Donna Summer was like stayed in that room.

He freaked out so much with the other one that he's like, I'm going to come home and kill you.

If violence didn't work, they wouldn't use it so much.

I mean, listen, it's like Richard Pryor said.

He goes, listen, he goes, say what you want about the mob.

He goes,

they kind of figured out a business plan.

He goes, hey, man, you like walking?

Oh, yeah.

You like your legs?

You know, but so, and then we went to the island of Capri.

Okay.

Island of Capri, you go in the water and look up the look up the caves, the blue caves, the blue lagoons or the blue caves in Capri.

And we went in there.

You got to get, yeah, yeah.

So you got it.

So you got to get a rope.

Yeah.

So

we were, I was in, I swam in that.

I jumped in that.

So what you do is, but do you see the one that's really small?

It looks like a small hole?

Like it's no, go down one.

Yeah, you see that?

Yeah.

So you got to grab a rope and go like this to get in.

What?

Yeah.

So there's a rope.

So you got to go like this to get in.

So we were all in it.

It's blue water.

Yeah, we were all in it, and it's lit up blue.

From what?

Yeah.

I love how you, how into this you are because like this is so if you go to Capri, if you go to the island of Capri, it's like a, it's like all houses on a hill.

It's almost like all, it's like, it's like Italy's version of like, it would be like Hollywood Hills if all the houses were shitty.

Okay.

And there's just cats running around.

But then you go in the water and there's this.

And they call it like the, and you go in.

I did get a little, you got a little claustrophobic going in because you got to grab a rope to get through that, kind of, just to kind of get yourself in.

And then when you're in there, it's beautiful and blue, but you're also like, this is kind of tight.

Where the fuck does the light come from?

I know, I know.

I think it's the light.

I think this is crazy.

I think

literally, that's us.

Like, that was us

to the far right.

That's the with the four people in there.

Yeah.

That's what we did.

And then just to feel it, I jumped out in it.

Like, I just

had to jump in the water just to feel it.

And yeah.

And, and, uh, but you do feel, as cool as it is, you are like, oh, dude, if there's any kind of collapse here, we're all dead.

Like, it's like, this is the most beautiful, scary thing.

But so that's the island of Capri.

I don't think you can go to to italy and not do that so anybody listening to this podcast if you go to italy you have to go to i haven't even heard of it oh dude the island of capri yeah that's it that's that's the best like picture of it right there um the island yeah right there so the island of capri it has all boats there there's all those

caves in here uh yes i think i think there's multiple okay uh and then um

Yeah, you took a ski lift too.

Like, you know those ski lifts?

You could take a ski lift to the top of the mountain.

So you just sit in a ski lift and it kind of takes you to the top.

Yeah.

And there's all one thing that they're not going to show or talk about here.

The place is just running around with cats.

Really?

Yeah.

So just there it is.

That's that's perfect.

That's perfect.

So it's a little city like that.

Gorgeous.

Right.

Yeah.

Little city like that.

Places to eat.

With the mountains right behind it.

Yeah.

And a ski lift.

It looks like Edinburgh behind it.

A ski lift.

Dude, you got to go to the island of the Caprib, dude.

And there's just stray cats chilling.

There's just like stray cats that like everybody calls.

Just cats.

No, there we just saw a cat.

Why are they protect their cats there?

And if you fuck with with one, they're like, that's a real crime.

Even though it's not your cat, you'll be like, people will feed it.

People will treat them like good.

But yeah, that's the island of Capri.

It was fucking amazing.

Sorrento is where we had the shitty hotel.

I mean, I'm trying to think where even is.

Oh, so that side of it.

Okay.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

So,

so, uh.

Wow.

Okay.

Yeah.

So look, so Capri, you have to take a boat, obviously.

Calabria.

Dude, I love looking at a map and finding out where stuff originated from.

Like calabria and chili oil.

I'm like, oh, what does that mean?

Is that a style of, and they're like, no, it's from here.

Yeah.

Or saying like the island of Sardinia.

And I'm like, what are they known for?

You're like, you know what they're known for.

Sardines.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

I just heard something.

It's the weirdest thing that I came to do your podcast today.

I swear to God, as I parked the car, they just said, you guys upset about the election?

Well, if you guys want to re, if you guys want to relocate, and they were going, there's a promotion going on right now in Sardinia, Italy.

You can buy a dilapidated home for $1 and rebuild it up.

They're doing that for people.

I just literally heard that as I walked here, as I was getting here.

Yeah.

There's

$1 homes in Sardinia.

$1.

One American dollar, like two Euros.

You pay taxes on it?

And they say you could buy a dilapidated home there

because if people want to

come see our beautiful countryside and rebuild, so you could buy a shitty home and redo it for a dollar.

Wow.

Do you have to rebuild?

Or can you leave it for like 10 years so you're ready?

I mean, they said dilapidated.

I don't know what their definition of that is.

Can you just leave it?

I'm like, all right, I'll get to it when I get to it.

Oh, yeah, no, you own it.

You ever remember that when they're doing that in Detroit?

You can buy a house for a dollar.

You can buy a house for then $100.

I'm like, that's crazy.

And they're like, why didn't I buy a whole block?

I know it hasn't come back yet, but like, I could just own a block.

You showed up with like 200 bucks and just be the fucking king.

Oh, no.

Fucking the township of Ari.

You're the mayor of the town you just bought for 200 bucks?

Yeah, no toilets allowed.

You have to shit in public.

Like some weird fucking Clinton Eswood style rules.

Dude, you could buy a town and then just do a fucking comedy festival there.

Just have every fucking comedian that you know fly in for that week and just do a fucking Sardinia comedy festival?

Be fucking insane, dude.

But no, dude, Capri.

So Capri is...

So how do you get from place to place?

Buses, flights?

Yeah, so

it would be buses, flights, and boats.

Now, how long would it take to get from like

here where from like where's Venice

higher or lower

Venice is around where the fuck's Venice

you just I thought you just had it I did

there okay up there how long would it take to get from well that's a different one but

oh Verona that's how long it takes to get from Rome to across like this yeah it's kind of like if you look at it like that it's kind of like Florida like it's kind of like Florida so like I think you're talking like anywhere from like two and a half to four and a half hours, depending, you know, depending.

No, I mean, and it's all bus.

Oh, and there are a lot of trains.

So, so hour and a half, hour 40.

That's great.

That's nothing.

So, you can really get places.

So, yeah, like you can get from there to Naples really easy.

Yeah, like if you're in the, if you're in a bus for two hours, you'll be like, oh, we're stopping here.

We're stopping there.

You could bang out like two, two cities, two or three cities in a day if it's two hours each.

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But the things that stand out to me, like I would tell anybody if

you're going to Italy, I would say

Venice is a must, Capri.

Now, I told you at the beginning of this, the driving, they'll hit you.

So we were able, they'll hit you, like if you're if you're crossing the street.

I was able to, I don't know if they still do it.

I stood on, I have pictures I will send you, on the Leaning Tower of Pisa, no rails.

And it's tilted, no rails, and it's at your own risk.

And I stood up there on the edge, and there's a picture of me looking down at my grandma, taking a picture of her.

And we're up there, standing on the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

I was on it.

Where's that?

It was in Pisa.

Wow.

Yeah.

The Leaning Tower of Pisa.

I stood on that.

Dude, for somebody like you, by the way, who I know loves traveling, like, dude, you would fucking lose it in Italy.

Yeah, Pisa.

Is it two Z's or one?

I think it's, no, I think it's one.

Wait, is it S?

That may be.

I think it's P-I-S-A.

I think.

I could be wrong, but I think it's S-A.

Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Yeah, that's it.

Yep, that's it.

Yeah.

I stood on that thing high.

No railings.

Wow.

No railings.

I don't know what they did.

Yep.

Wow.

My grandmother sat right in the back of the ball.

It's like on the edge over here.

On the edge up there, there's no.

So I think at the very, very top, there is on the way up.

Do you see the columns?

There's just, you're walking against the wall.

You're walking.

Because it's like.

And it's tilted or the floor is straight?

No, and they have to keep, they have to keep kind of, because

at one point it was going, like it was like they needed to do something

to keep it like that.

It wasn't built leaning, right?

Because I don't think so.

I think it ended up, I think it ended up leaning and then stayed.

It's going to fall at some point.

Yeah,

they're on it.

But I stood on that.

Wow.

I was

cool.

That's such a fucking all-time place.

We grew up as kids.

It's one of the greatest sites for kids.

The Leaning Tower of Pizza.

And so that was that.

Then I was in Pompeii where the people were frozen.

You saw that?

I saw people.

Dude, dude, we did it.

Can you pose with them?

Is it supposed to be respectful?

There were no pictures there.

Like, I don't think maybe I don't know if some people took it, but like, yeah, like, because when you have to be like solemn or no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It's like tourists just walking by, going, look, they're frozen.

Like, people are like, look, you know, grabbing their kids and shit.

Dude, it's fucking frozen in time.

So, yeah, because the volcano in Pompeii.

So, we saw that.

Florence is jewelry and leather.

So, you go to Florence, that's where you buy your leather jacket, that's where you buy a leather wallet, that's where you get a chain.

That's Florence.

So, Florence, Italy is coming.

It's weird that it's like certain places, like, we just do this here, and you're like, Well, couldn't somebody go and do it somewhere else?

And it's like, they don't, I guess.

No, like, if you went to Italy and you were like, Where can I get leather goods?

They would go, You want the best, you go to Florence.

Interesting, yeah, yeah.

So, so, uh, Florence, um, and then, of course, you know, we saw the Sistine Chapel and and all that stuff.

That's where they painted on the ceiling.

Yeah, that's with the paint on the ceiling.

And then

the Pope's window, sometimes, rarely, rarely, he would come out.

If you were like lucky there, he would just come out.

He lives there, he lives in the Vatican.

And the people, we went to the Vatican too.

Vatican City.

And so we went to Vatican City.

Yeah.

And like his window, they say like where his, and sometimes he would just come out and go like this, so people would go, ape shit.

We didn't, we didn't see it.

We didn't see the head.

And he comes out and fucking forgets his hat.

No, it's all right.

I just limit a sweatshirt.

Is it a wife beater?

You just see a mistress behind.

No, but

dude, I'm telling you, man, like, I would tell anybody if you go to Italy, like, those are the places.

Venice, the island of Capri.

Pisa is like one where it's like, if you're going back, you don't like hat.

Like, it wasn't something you had.

You saw it.

Like, that's that is like, oh, we're going to grab a sandwich and go see the Leaning Tower and get a Silver and leave.

Well, it's like, I always compare it to New York.

If you come to visit New York, never been, right?

And it's like, what do you do?

It's like, go bar hopping.

That's so fun.

Maybe some clubs, maybe some music, some jazz, or Broadway.

And it's like, every time you come back, you can do that.

It's like if you have fun, you're not seeing sights in New York.

You can, but like, I even tell people the first time I wouldn't go to a Broadway play.

Not the first time.

I don't think the first time.

I think the first time, if you really want to experience New York, kind of what you said, go eat, go to bars,

feel the nightlife, and then be like, oh, when we come back, we'll see the Lion King.

Like, I don't think that that needs to be.

I mean, look, you can if that's what you want.

If that's what you're into, listen, listen, this podcast is gay-friendly.

So if that's what you're into, fucking go for it.

Yeah, but dude,

yeah, somebody like you, you would have lost your money, you would have won

apeship in Capri.

Damn.

Yeah.

So, so did you talk to any of the people?

Oh, yeah.

And how are they to you?

They're just old school and polite.

You know, old school, polite.

Like, you know, they get a kick out of you liking it.

You know, like

it's definitely different than France, where like there's a little annoyance in France.

They're kind of just like sometimes in France, they're either very nice nice to you and happy that you're there, or they're just like, ugh.

Italy, they're all just, they're all like, they want you to enjoy.

They tell you, oh, go here.

Oh, you want this?

They like it.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're just old school Italians.

You know,

and it's different than Italians here.

Yeah.

You know, the Italians that are like in the upper deck at Yankee Stadium go, what the fuck is he doing?

That's not.

They don't have that kind of garbage there.

No, they don't have that.

No.

No, they kind of look at that as like a character.

Because, you know, how it's like, like when Back to the Future, Michael J.

Fox went, the further he gets away from his normal timeline, he starts to disappear.

His picture starts to get like, I think the Italians, the further away they get from the homeland, the more like mutated they get.

Don't you think that?

I think that's like a lot of places.

I think when you go back to the motherland, you kind of realize like, oh, let me get my shit together.

Like, I come from this.

Yeah, it's like, this is how I'm supposed to be.

When you get like further away, you start to become a little more of like the character of that.

A little less Sopranos, little more Chef Boyard.

Oh, they, they they like there they probably hate sopranos they're like what remember that episode where they went to italy and it's like i want more gravy on like

yeah that whole like when when people in italy see like what the for get the out you they're like what oh wow yeah yeah yeah it's it's and was there did different cities have different

um feels like yeah sure but i was gonna say different like foods so when we went to northern italy or wherever we went to go skiing near switzerland there was a dish that was just there.

And it was like, it had some broccoli rhob in it, and it was not actually that good, but buckwheat pasta instead of regular pasta.

And it was like, this is what it's known for.

And it's like, you get it while you're there because you can't get it other places.

It was fine.

But like, that's what I mean.

It's like, that's not in Rome.

That's not it.

Like, Paella is not Barcelona.

It's more Madrid.

Yeah, I think like certain parts of Italy, like, it's always pasta, but it'll be their version of it.

It's like their, like, it's different in the north-south.

Um, I think southern Italy and Sicily is

different too.

But is Sicily Italy or is it a different country?

So there's there's like it's a different country.

Okay.

But

like if you ever hear Sebastian Manascalco talk, like his parents, like his father would be like, no, we're Sicilian.

Like we're Sicilian.

My father didn't look at it like that.

My father is like, we're Italian, but we're Sicilian.

But he would just go, Sicilian is just a little better.

Oh, really?

He would just be like, yeah,

we're a little.

Sicily.

So my grandmother

is from a village.

Yeah, my grandmother's from a village.

She's from a village right called Taramina.

She grew up there.

Yeah, yeah.

She came up there.

So Taramina has

arguably, arguably the most beautiful beach on planet Earth in Sicily.

Taramina is

Taramina, Sicily.

Yeah.

So the beaches there.

Yeah.

The beaches there are considered some of the best in the world.

My grandmother's from a little village right outside there.

And she came to the United States at 10 years old, didn't speak a lick of English.

But the water and the yeah,

it's just like it's insane.

And I have not been, which is like, I want to take my kids since I'm Sicilian and Greek, Greek, I want to take my kids next year to both.

Really?

So we're going to do, we're going to, yeah, look at that, dude.

This motherfucker.

I mean, could you imagine, dude, sitting, drinking

either jumping there or jumping there?

Yeah, you're hanging in the pool, and then you're like, let's just go in that beautiful water right there that goes out to literally, that's like the middle of the ocean.

Yeah, yeah.

It's

so, um, you want to take your kids there?

Is that what he said?

I'm going to take my kids to there, and I want to take them to Greece.

Blue water.

Oh, yeah.

No, it's, it's, they say some of the most like beautiful waters in the world.

Greece ruled.

Uh, Greece is like, you hear what Tom Hanks said, right?

I mean, not that he's like, but he said he's been to like everywhere in the world, and he said, like, there's, in his opinion, there's no place like Greece.

He has a home there.

When we were in, I'm not going to say which island, I don't want to blow up the spot, but everybody there is like, that's Tom Hanks' home right there.

They would point out.

His wife, Rita Wilson, is Greek.

But the beaches there in like Taramina and Sicily are very kind of similar.

And it's not really not far away.

Right.

It's all kind of the same shit.

When we were on the cruise, we sailed between it.

We sailed at night between Italy and Sicily.

So right, no, no, lower that.

No, no, the strip right there.

No, no, in the middle of that.

Oh, Italy and Sicily.

Oh, that.

So that little thing.

So I'm eating dinner in the dining room of this beautiful thing.

Italy on one side, Sicily on the other, and you see it.

You see the land of both.

And that close.

Yeah, yeah.

Little, little tiny strip.

And, yeah, dude, I was just, you know, I mean, you want to talk about guinea in it up?

I was eating fucking prosute.

I was eating prosute and melon in between in between, sailing between that.

That's so close.

Look at that.

Look at that.

So, yeah.

So, what are these islands all about?

Some people are like, fuck that.

I'm Sicilian.

I'm not Italy.

It's Sicily.

And actually, technically, they might be right, but a lot of people are just like, no,

it's the southern tip of

Italy.

But yeah, look you could look how look how narrow that is so narrow yeah I mean I sailed right between that 815 minutes to get there to Rome okay then you gotta go what

yeah

yeah dude it's uh God I can't wait to go back next year I can't wait to go back next year you're going so you go back a lot huh I'm yeah I'm gonna go are there places you still haven't been there that you really want to go uh Sicily I've never been I never been, and that's what I really am.

I've never been to Termina.

That's my grandma's from.

Like I said, the closest I got to Sicily was sailing through it, but um, what about that eggplant thing for Sicily?

Yeah, I mean, the Moors was a tribe that kind of went in, and I guess apparently, you know, apparently

and pillaged because they they did say that there's truth that Sicilians used to be blonde hair, blue eyes, and then that changed.

Does anybody pillage without

but no, it goes hand in hand, right?

You're not gonna rob them, yeah.

Nobody's gonna rip them out, you're like, I'm not gonna, I may as well pillage, they're defenseless right now, you know,

yeah.

I know the does suck.

It's like, can't you just pillage?

Can't you just pillage?

What do you gotta do?

Come on, man.

Come on, dude.

I mean, it was a, it was a bygone past time.

You know, we're not really that a society anymore.

Got it, man.

I gotta go.

No, dude, you would, and I know, like, a guy like you.

You never super called me, but the way you're describing it, it's kind of calling me now.

Oh, dude, no, no.

You would, like, you would get there, and I feel like when you got there, you'd go, oh, my God, I didn't expect this.

Like, because even when I saw you, even when you looked at Capri, you were like, what the fuck?

My mom listens to this podcast sometimes, and she, she was talking about the first like three or four, and then the fifth one or sixth one, whatever.

She goes, I didn't like that one.

I was like, why?

She goes, the other ones made me want to go to a place.

This one didn't make me want to go there.

And this is making me want to go there.

This show should make people want to.

Or make them not.

Or make them like stay the fuck away.

You know what?

Oh, dude, we've had some nightmarish ones, too.

Yeah, like, and I don't mean any disrespect to anybody in like Iraq or Iran, but like, you'd have to really sell me.

If I'm flying to the Middle East, you're going to have to sell me on restaurants.

And it's got to be your experience, too.

Like, we were talking with Yannis about Monaco.

And I'm like, who would go to Monaco?

And he's like, Tim.

I'm like, oh, right.

Yeah.

Tim.

Yannis was.

Here last yesterday.

Oh, he did Monaco?

No, but he was like, I usually ask people, where else do you want to go in the world?

And he said, Monaco.

He goes, I don't really want to travel, but Monaco maybe.

And it was like, oh,

that calls to Tim more than to me.

Yeah, I've been to Monaco.

I like some danger and some whatever.

Tim likes the high roller, like James Bond life.

Yeah, I'm a little more like that.

Like you're, you're like, you'll, you'll go hiking in the Philippines for two days and not know where you end up.

Crazy pronunciation of that.

You're just the Philippines.

Philippines, yeah.

But you'll, you'll, like, you'll go hiking and not know where you're going for two days and then just go with the villagers and hopefully it works out.

Like, I did you go to any small villages?

Like, oh, what's your sister, your mom's, your grandma's at Taramina?

We looked that up already.

That's all.

My grandmother from Terminal, we did not go.

I will take my kids there next year.

Did she like

want to go back to be like, this is where I does.

She remember it at all?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

She's, she, yeah.

She's.

When did she come?

How old was she?

And this is going to really be fucking wild for you to to hear.

So she she

came to the United States at 10 years old, did not speak English.

Yeah.

You know, boat,

boat to Ellis Island.

Wow.

Yeah.

10 years old.

You know, didn't speak, sailed here, and just, yeah.

What a time to get on a boat to get here.

Yeah.

You might not make it.

Yeah.

Yeah, and some kids probably didn't have their parents on there.

Damn, that spirit.

Yeah.

There's something about like, I'm not weighing in on immigration, but there's something is like, whoever got here, that is the American spirit.

Yeah, you're like, whatever, I got to protect the borders, whatever, blah, blah.

But the guys who are here, it's like, that's everyone who ever came here.

Yeah.

They had that same like, let's find something new attitude, you know?

And to just be like, we're going to America for like that life.

Yeah.

Fuck, I was just going to say something.

We, uh, so she's grandmother.

So Teramina, my grandmother.

Oh, the villages?

Um, the villages.

Fuck, what was it?

It was a good one, too.

Fuck.

No, I'll find it.

I gotta, I'll I'll find it.

So

it was

Sicily.

It was Taramina.

We're about to see the memory of a non-weed smoker.

What's that?

Go ahead.

I know.

Well, no, I've actually been hitting a vape a little bit.

What?

So, yeah, I've been hitting a vape.

But I can't smoke when I'm performing.

Like, I get foggy.

I've started to do this too with people on podcasts.

I'm like, you know what, guys?

I've been bad on these enough times with weed.

Let me smoke right after or towards the end.

Can you go on stage high or no?

Oh, yeah.

Like high out of your mind?

In the beginning, I couldn't.

Does it affect your

beginning?

I couldn't.

And then later, if I'm the right level of high, it's great.

I'm giggly and fun.

It won't affect your taglines or your punches.

It will.

If I'm too high.

It will.

Yeah, because I've seen Chappelle one time on stage, and he was so out of his mind that it affected him.

But then Freeze Love is functional, like that snoop dog level of high where you just get all day.

It's like, that's just how you are.

Right.

You know?

Then it's like, it's fine.

It's like having a beer on stage.

You know, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Versus when you're 14, like, I don't believe I'm out of it.

But I got my favorite earthquake quote.

I'm misquoting it, but they were asking him, like,

do you ever drink alcohol on stage?

And he goes, stand-up comedy is one of the few art forms, excuse me, one of the few industries that allow you the privilege of imbibing alcohol while you're at work.

And I like to avail myself of that privilege.

And they go, okay.

They go, does it ever

mess with like your performance?

He goes, every single time.

That's great.

No, it does.

Like, one drink I can have, but like, you know, I've been on stage hammered and it just affects it.

I like to have a double shot of whiskey or scotch.

And then, like, as I go through an hour, hour, 10, hour, 20, whatever it is, I get a little more tuned up.

And then I'm like, now I'm loose.

But I get him on my side every day.

I take that journey with him.

If I got too fucked up high before I go on, I'm like, I'm like, off.

It's off.

And the crowd knows.

The crowd knows.

The crowd's like, okay, he's a little.

They're not not getting as good a show so it's like let's do it after they're not getting the the wittiest you yeah and and yeah yeah so when i tape a special i'm like let me get high at 3 p.m and then come down and just be barely feeling it you know then it's okay um so the thing with sicily is um

it's it's so close but but like teramina is like the fact that like my grandmother is from there oh i found it i remembered it i remembered it that's what i do so my aunt, my aunt Grace,

she is my father's only sibling.

Okay.

She's in Denver, Colorado.

She's big on finding out fucking 23andMe.

She's big on finding out everybody that we know there.

She was the one to tell me.

So a lot of people say that Jerry Ferrara and me are so similar to the point where somebody was like...

Yeah.

So similar.

You look like him.

So similar.

No, no, no, but like he was on a podcast and somebody reached out to me.

He goes, Dude, you got to hear on it.

You got to hear it on the podcast.

He goes, It's the craziest thing.

He likes the same sports teams you like.

You talk the same, you sound exactly the same.

I listened to it, and I couldn't hear anymore.

I couldn't listen anymore.

The craziest shit is my aunt, my aunt says to me, She goes, I heard Jerry on your podcast.

She goes, I just want you to know.

He was on your podcast?

Yeah.

She goes, Yeah, yeah.

He's me and him are real.

Me and him are cool.

And she goes, The Ferraras and the Verzes

in the village of in the village of Sicily

are so close that there is a chance that you and him are related.

She goes, the Ferraras and Versees were like this.

And I go, what?

And Verse is very rare here, but in that village,

I'm not going to say it's like a Smith or a Johnson, but

it's common.

And she goes, there's a chance that you and him are, and when we talk, and I go, hey, dude, are you,

we were talking over a cigar.

I go, you Sicily?

And he goes, yeah.

And he goes, your family's from Sicily?

He goes, yeah.

And I go, oh, yeah.

And then my aunt goes, she heard it and she was like, no, you guys could, that could be related.

But then she says to me, Paul, I don't know if you know this, but our family has an olive oil farm in Sicily.

And I went there and they welcomed me because I'm a Versee and they gave me a bottle.

Go to the Versee olive oil.

And it's in Sicily.

And my family is there.

It's my family.

I did not know this.

Yep, I have this bottle at home.

Okay, yep, that's it.

Wow.

Yep.

So I have that bottle.

Yeah, keep going.

I have that bottle.

That bottle is in my home.

And look, that's where my family's thing is.

And I just found this out.

Oh, my God.

So if you and I ever go to Sicily, we're going to fuck it.

They're going to load us up with bottles of that.

Dude, I have a bottle of that at home.

And I just,

that's my family, dude.

And I didn't know.

Obviously, distant, like, obviously, like, not immediate.

Yeah.

But my aunt goes, oh, she goes, that's our family's, like, deep-rooted our family's olive oil.

And I go, what?

And they sent me, she goes, we got bottles here.

I'm sending you one.

And I did not know at all.

And I come to find out that that's my.

See, I knew this podcast today was good, but now that I remember this, this is what, if I didn't remember this, I'd have been sick.

I would have been in the car and I'd be like, fuck.

Yeah, so I found out.

I found out that this, so when I go there, I want to take my family and my kids and be like,

it's my namesake, and they have this thing there.

So it's obviously distant.

I don't know how far back it is.

That's so cool to have a relation like that because there's all this new 23andMe travel tourism where it's like, I found out I'm 2% Irish.

So now it's like, well, that's a reason to go more than anywhere else.

You know, may as well.

It'd be funny if we just showed up and I was like, what's it?

Like I acted like it was like my.

I mean, no, we're going to my family's fucking holiday.

They were like, who are you?

Peter, you know who I am?

Yeah, so

I was actually really excited about that.

So the plan is take the wife and the kids to like Taramina and Greece next year and do that.

And then just have my kids go to like where their dad is basically from.

Dude, I was trying to get my dad to go back to Armenia.

Yeah.

I was going to play there a year ago or so.

And

that's my Italy.

That's where he was from.

He moved because of

outside his control.

Yeah, yeah.

Some things went on.

Some things went on.

Some things went on.

Their defense forces were not the American-level defense forces.

But I was like, do you want to go?

He's no.

Listen, fair enough.

He's got some bad memories associated with this.

But he was like, what's there for me?

And I'm like, I don't know.

Like, what would be the beer you would drink while you're there?

And I leaned into all that.

I'm like, what would I have done if not for the Holocaust?

It really is funny how you don't think, you know, we're American and we're here and we don't fucking, and then you go there and you're like, hey, what did my dad, like, what was my grandfather?

Like,

is there a shop that my grandfather smoked at?

What about smoke?

Dude, what about smoking a cigar where you're like, hey, your great-great-grandfather used to sit on this fucking chair and smoke right there.

And you're like, now, now I'm generations later.

I'm like, I'm smoking a cigar in that fucking chair.

Like, how nuts is that?

I just got the chills.

That's nuts.

Wow.

I agree with you.

It's like, hey, dad, what beer would you, like, when you were in Romania, like, would you, when you were friends, like, what would you drink?

Yeah, well, he was too young, but I'm like, this is what you would have drank if you stayed.

You would have been like, what'd your dad drink?

Like, what did your dad drink?

Like, what was, what were people in the village doing?

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

How was Romania?

I, I mean, loved it.

Really?

All of Eastern Europe.

And I don't count Greece for this, even though it's the most East.

But,

right, where's Greece?

Over there.

It's so wild.

All those people.

So I had to make a decision when I go to a tour there.

I'm like, I leave open days.

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.

I don't work.

Right.

So I can either stay in that city I've just played longer or go to the next city early.

Berlin is always going to be, that's a Saturday.

Don't give me a Sunday, so I want to stay there.

You know, it's one of my favorites.

But like,

Brussels, I'm like, do that on a Thursday or Friday so I'm in and out.

There's nothing there.

Yeah.

I'll have a beer and get out of there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But Ljubljana, Slovenia, I was like, do that a one day.

I fucked up.

It was like, I should have been here longer.

I did as much as I could in 24 hours.

But like Slovenia, Romania, it's like they're newly free.

and so they're they're wildlings the people there are just nuts there's there's indoor smoking rooms in a bar like like in an old like airport you just go there and smoke and still be in the bar wow people i left in

well sloveny but it's all got the same feel actually this might have been romania um

nope slovenia and i left and i was like oh shit i left my We were leaving to go to a bar.

I left my umbrella inside because it stopped raining.

So I left my umbrella.

Like, all right, go get it.

I was like, okay.

And I ran in, opened the door, came back, but it was no one in there.

I went to the green room and found this old, beautiful hall.

What?

You know,

and then I left, and I'm like, hey, there's no one in there.

Like, yeah, okay.

I'm like, but the door was open.

They're like, yeah.

And I was like, well, is somebody supposed to lock the door?

They're like, oh, dude, we're in the in the feel, in the shadow of

communism and of Eastern bloc shit.

No one's going to fuck with the government building.

Like, your sister's going to disappear.

It's not even.

Yeah.

So they don't even.

Why close?

close?

Why lock it?

Yeah, yeah.

No, it's different there.

Yeah, it's different.

And that feel is like, when I was there, I was like, how many people remember Yugoslavia?

When this wasn't, and it was like 30% of the room was like, huh?

Yeah.

So it's like Romania, too, like, Ceausescu and then all his like generals, they tormented these people.

They're just newly getting capitalism.

Yeah, it's nuts.

It's like you always hear those stories at the Olympics, right?

Like they'll be in like an Olympic figure skater.

And you're like, yeah, she was taken from her family, but these people took her in and she started ice skating.

You're like, what?

Who took her in?

What?

What?

Took her from its family.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, all she knew was this.

Yeah, and you're going like, what happened?

You're like, oh, she was in a fucking communist country where, you know, they probably didn't allow her.

So they had a fire room in,

I think in, was it Cluj or was it, I think, Bucharest?

They had a big fire, and a lot of people were caught there.

They're great, great white, was that the name of the band?

They had a big fire, and everybody died.

There was like a stampede, and they blocked up the ball, dude, yeah.

But they had that version of it.

But these people didn't die.

They just got badly burned.

A few died.

And they went to the hospital.

The hospital is so crooked that they were watering down

anesthetics.

Like, you know, the stuff that you

rub in your hands.

What's that called?

Hand purifier.

What's it?

Sanitizer.

So they were watering it down to be cheaper.

To like sell it.

And so the people died in the hospital because of bad care.

And then they had this bravado, like, let's ship them off to fucking another country that can handle them.

And they go, no, we're the best.

And you're like, they're dying in your care.

And then once they go, okay, we're going to finally ship them off, which means you're dying.

They're like, My son first.

Like, your son's not in danger right now.

Like, here's a little money, my son first.

Yeah.

And then more people died.

Yeah, yeah, it's so crooked.

It's so crooked that it made me realize how crooked our government is.

Because, like, oh, we do the similar things.

I can't see through ours as much, but if we're doing that and they're doing that, obviously.

Right.

Then I can tell we're crooked too.

Yeah.

And we have a lot more money in power, so we do it just different ways.

Yeah, we do it different ways.

Yeah.

But

exactly.

Yeah, I think every place has their own, but they're just so blatantly like

it reminds me of

that scene in Airplane, which is one of my favorites, where the guy in Russia was just given the news, and they just, as he was given, there was a gun to his head while he was giving the news.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like, no, you're going to say this.

I mean, like, in Cuba, we were listening to the radio.

We went through a hurricane.

So the power went out.

So we had a radio, battery radio, to find out what's going on, updates.

And so this guy was translating for him.

My Spanish isn't that good.

And

he was like, all right, they're saying, you know, they had a pregnant woman and two elderly men had to be rushed to the hospital.

They seem like they'll be okay.

Power, no reports yet.

They need the hurricane to pass before they can even try to get it working to get on the island.

And he goes, and now they're saying this was all made possible, no deaths, made possible by the glorious revolution.

So now this is the propaganda part.

Made possible by the glorious revolution,

which protects all people, whatever.

He goes, that's part that got into their head.

They have to say that.

No, no, that's part is they have to.

Like, oh, we don't have that as blatant, but we are doing what they tell us.

Yeah, I'm saying Alexis Guerreros was telling me that, like, you know, because he's Cuban and his family's from Cuba, and he was just saying that, like, they would just go to the house and be like, hey, you're going to, your family has to be at that parade honoring the government.

Like, you have to be.

Like, you have to be there, like, all together in solitude.

Like, just, I mean, like, you can't be in the house, like, because it's a complete disrespect showing that you're not for the government.

You all have to be there.

And if you're not, they'll fucking take you out.

Like, yeah, they evacuated people.

And I was like, what if you don't go?

They're like, oh, well, first of all, you want to go because you have like one wall missing.

Like, you don't want to be on that during a hurricane.

And he goes, like, what if you say no?

Fuck, I'm going.

He goes, then six cops will come.

Like, you're just not allowed to go.

And I go, can you, if they say, hey, you're evacuated, can I gather some stuff?

They go, yeah, yeah, sure, of course.

Take your time.

Get whatever you need.

So it's like, it's just weird.

And then they're like, what do you guys do?

Can you stay doing it?

I'm like, yeah, we can.

And we often do.

Yeah.

Do people die?

I'm like, yeah, often they do.

Yeah.

But it's like this freedom thing.

Yeah.

It's like we do have the, like, we make fun of those people.

And we're like, this guy's fucking

on his roof.

Yeah.

This guy's sitting on his roof because water is up to his roof.

Yeah.

But like, he does have that right where there it's like, you know.

Yeah.

He's like, what are they doing?

Like, yeah, we make fun of them.

Yeah, we make fun of them because some of them don't make it because they're stubborn.

But it is kind of funny that that is a freedom that we do have.

Where it's like, no, I'm going to stay at my house.

I'm just going to stay here.

And you're like, all right, well, I mean, the news said, what I didn't like was when they fucking, when that news guy was crying, and it's just like,

yeah,

is that an animal?

Fuck is that

did the Cuban government

bug your house?

Oh my god, I'm fucking leaking up the ceiling.

Oh.

What the F?

Oh, shit.

This fucking place.

I gotta tell him upstairs.

I don't know what the fuck.

Oh, shit.

Leak in the ceiling.

I thought it was a mouse.

I don't know if this is better or worse.

I thought that that was a mouse, but then I'm like, what's the irony?

We were talking about like water in the houses and sitting on the roof.

Oh, my God.

And he just, that sucks.

Well, hey, that's on them.

That's on, I mean, yeah, but.

Is the landlord here?

She's downstairs.

I mean, it's coming through the fucking roof.

What?

It's starting to peel up there.

Oh, shit.

It's not even raining.

I was going to say, it hasn't rained in days.

I wonder what that's from.

How?

It was upstairs.

It's just overflowing.

Oh, it could be.

You know what it could be?

What?

No, it's definitely what it is.

It's pipes.

It's the pipes from people showering, or it's the pipes from somebody.

Yeah.

So basically, one of the pipes during the plumbing has a little thing in it, and it's just flooding up into that.

We had that happen in our house.

We had to fucking reduce it.

They're going to have to go in.

It's going to be mold in here.

They've got to go in through this.

It would only be mold if it went long.

They're going to just.

So we had a flooding here during the last big, big storm.

The top of the roof, a branch got

in the drain.

Yeah.

And it started building up.

Coming through the third floor got it worse.

Upstairs got it bad.

Yeah.

Guy died.

Was just floating up there.

So we were just talking about how in Cuba, it's shitty.

We're sitting here in Manhattan.

I mean, I'm spending way too much for this.

Are you?

I mean,

have that,

if I'm spending more than $500 a month, I don't need that.

You can't have that.

Now, how'd you find this place?

Searching, searching, searching.

I needed like a front room that was big enough to do it.

I needed very specific, like,

you know, so when I walked in, I'm like, nope, not enough space for cameras.

No.

Are you new?

Yeah.

And then I'm like, yeah, this will do in the neighborhood.

Yeah.

You know,

keep going.

No.

Yeah, this is making me want to go back because, yeah, this is making me want to go back because now there are some places I have not been since 1989 what what advice would you give someone who's going to Italy like hey I'm headed Tell me what do I don't know I would the first thing that I would say is do not expect American Italian food that would be because there's gonna be people going imagine what the pizzas if no no no you're getting a different country's version of it even though they're the it's their cuisine you're getting a different version of it so don't be disappointed if the pasta is not like the pasta here or the pizza is not like the pizza here Go in with like a, I'm getting Italy's version of their food, not here, because that would be my dad was disappointed.

My dad was like, you know, it's Italy, but like, I just, you know, because he was used to going to fine restaurants here.

Yeah.

And I'm like, dad, that's not, that's not it.

You're not going to get a veal parme there.

And he was like, yeah, I was expecting, you know, it's lighter.

Oh, listen, they're not as Italians here are fatter.

Right, exactly.

Italians here are fatter.

You see, you don't wasting away.

When you go, oh, dude, if they'd be like, you need to eat, that's why, like, oh, manga, manga.

Because, like, manga.

Oh, manga's, that's the, that's eat.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, manga.

So every time, every time you, my, my Sicilian grandmother, I would go to her house and she would make meatballs.

Still to this day, I cried.

The meatballs were the best.

And she go, manga, manga means eat.

But they always, you know, they always say you can't leave an Italian's house on an empty day.

They just keep feeding you because it's part of the thing.

But when you go there, you're going to leave.

Another thing that's incredible there, Italians, and we didn't talk about this, is like they took coffee to a whole, like espresso and cappuccino.

That's all their shit.

That's all it is.

Like, like cappuccino is their shit.

So it's like, yeah, so they, you know, and it's like for them, they could sit and they just they could sit and they just sip it and they'll just sit down.

It's like a fucking thing to do.

Do they do those single-shot coffees?

Anything.

Here everything's standard, double-shot.

But when I go to like Australia and I get a flat white and I'm like, this isn't getting amp.

Like, yeah, it's one shot per.

I'm like, oh, we do two shots standard.

So Starbucks will do three or four.

They just want to be satisfied where we have to fucking have the jitters.

Right.

Well, everything we do here.

Yeah.

It's just above and beyond.

Even the weed, it's like, I'll have one eighth of this cookie.

I'm like, just make a fucking less strong cookie.

Yeah.

Who eats an eighth of a cookie?

Yeah, yeah.

Just make a less so people could eat it.

Yeah.

I'll eat two cookies if I want more.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

So my advice in Italy would be don't expect Italian food that you get in America.

Expect it to be their version of it so you're not disappointed.

And I think like people going like, nah, I heard Venice is not.

People, dude, some people have the thing where there was like a couple of times where in the the summer the water smelled a little bit.

Okay.

You got used to it, right?

Go to Venice.

I would say not going to Venice, Italy, and going to Italy is kind of a hit up Venice for a day or two.

I have a saying, don't be an asshole.

It's like, if you are in,

I don't know, if you're right by the Eiffel Tower, go see it.

Don't be an asshole.

I get not doing all the tourist stuff, but like at some level, it's like you're here.

Gonna go.

We were in Paris.

Don't go to Egypt and not see a fucking pyramid.

Like I went, we went the last night we were in Paris, me and my wife and kids.

We went to the Ivil Tower.

It was great.

We didn't do the whole thing.

We didn't, but we went in there.

We didn't go to the top.

We just went in low.

We went in and we just saw it.

It was beautiful.

The lights came on.

We went back to the hotel.

We got to see it.

Got to see it.

If you're in Venice, you got to see it.

I would say the island of Capri, go in that cave.

Go in that cave in that blue lagoon type thing.

I think you have to do that.

And yeah, I mean, it's just a really amazing.

It's easy to change money.

What do they use?

Euros now?

Lira.

Lira.

They use their own.

Yeah, they use their own.

They use Lira.

The McDonald's there is insane.

It's like so much bigger, nicer, better tasting than here.

I mean, not that you would, but like, it's just like, it's not like American.

Yeah.

Like, it's like actually like a nice establishment.

You're like, oh, shit.

Yeah, it's just better.

You know, but I would just say go in with an open mind, but go see all the things.

And,

yeah, dude, if I was old enough, imagine seeing Pink Floyd in Venice.

Wow.

Can you imagine that?

And then being, I mean, you got to be on acid or mushrooms, acid, I would say, for Pink Floyd.

And then, and then we're leaving, now wander into the streets.

And it's like, what?

It's like, honestly, it's like when you leave Forest Hills on drugs and you go into this ye-old neighborhood.

And it's so good to like walk off your trip.

Imagine you're tripping your balls off.

You just watch Pink Floyd rip on a floating stage.

And then you're walking.

with the aftermath of your buzz and you're just seeing water roads.

All the roads are water.

And you're just walking there like on a little trip going, dude,

there's no cars.

That's water.

You'd be like, dude, this is fucking.

And then

you just go and you sit down and you smoke a cigar.

And they do say the beaches of Sicily, but I think it's hard to do all of that.

But not if you go two weeks.

Yeah, I mean, if you go to Americans don't really have that time.

But like

that's, that's cool.

Dude, it's it's so fucking cool.

And talk to the locals.

That's what he'll go over and over again.

That's where Matteo goes over and over and over again.

Where does he go?

Sicily or just?

I don't know, but he just likes it there.

So he likes the life there.

He likes like Paul Italia.

Yeah.

Paul Italy

spends a month in Sicily.

Wow.

He goes to Sicily for a month.

He's got family there.

He just stays in Sicily.

And yeah.

Chris Italia.

They'll go to Sicily for a month.

And it's like their neighborhood.

That's great because then you're over, I have to go to this restaurant.

You already went to the each restaurant.

You already saw that big site.

Yeah, so now you just go to the ones you love.

It's like, Chris and Paul, they treat it like it's like their neighborhood in Italy.

They walk around, they hang out.

And another piece of advice I would say definitely is like, talk to the locals, man.

Like talk to the locals and like, not like annoy them, but like get to like learn everything that you can and to see the difference.

I think that's, I think that that's a good piece of advice, too, because we have such a different, like, you know, I've listened to people, fuck, I'm going to Italy, the past is going to be, and I'm like, it's different.

It's not that shit that's here.

Okay.

Well, before I wrap up, I usually ask people this, like, what other country is calling you?

Two.

There's two.

Okay.

I'm going to shoot my next special in Australia.

Oh, where?

Either Sydney or Melbourne.

I'm leaning towards Melbourne.

Where?

I almost filmed my last one there.

Did you?

Yeah.

Well, the weird thing is, like, you know, when you could, when you're a comic, you could tell the fans you have on the graph, for some reason, so many people listen to the Verse Effect there.

So many people come to my show going, when you come to Australia, so many people reach out.

So I was like, you know, I did New York twice.

I did Chicago.

Let me go to another country.

And I'm like, I've never been to Australia and it's on my list.

So Australia and Japan are the two calling me.

I love Japanese culture.

I love Japanese food.

So I want to do that.

Both are ridiculous flights, but like those are on the bucket list for sure.

I mean, if you're going to film there, you got to go a good 10 days before you film.

What?

Australia?

Get over the jet lag.

Yes.

Be used to it.

Yeah, we want to go for two weeks.

I think at the end of the first week, I'll film, like seven days, I'll film, and then just literally go fuck into the Outback, do all the shit with it.

I got a lot of tips for you there.

Do you?

I mean, yeah.

And if you want to film somewhere, if it's club,

the comedy store people love in Sydney.

What's that seat?

Probably close to three.

Three?

Yeah.

But it's in a corner.

It's going to be hard to film there, actually, because it's short, tiny ceilings.

And then in Melbourne, the comics lounge, it's so big, there's so much room for cameras.

Really?

I was real close to filming there.

What, in Melbourne?

Yeah.

Shit.

What does that hold?

Like 400 or 500?

450, maybe 400.

And it's in Melbourne?

It's in Melbourne, yeah.

And it's just a great club, great owners who like are pro-comedy.

You know, some places like

doing a business, and other places, like, no, we're running a comedy club.

That they're the latter.

They love stand-up.

So they'll help you along the way.

Cowboy fans?

No.

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

What's that about?

How?

I don't know.

Yankee and Cowboy fans, actually.

Yeah, I guess because it's just like a lot of Yankee fans, I think it's just because we're

the best class style history.

I think history and tradition, I think other countries that love sports in America, it's history and tradition.

Yeah.

You know, it's like you watch Notre Dame.

That's like,

nobody went went there.

No, there's people that I know that are like, I live in Pittsburgh, and I'm like, yeah, we're Yankee fans.

I'm like, how are you?

And they're like, oh, my dad loved Mickey Mantle.

Like, Mickey Mantle is basically to people in baseball the way like Eddie Murphy was to a lot of comedians.

Like Eddie Murphy, I'm sure you've talked to so many comedians were influenced by him.

Yeah.

I think like when you watch baseball and it was like Mickey Mantle, you're like, oh, I'm a Yankee fan.

Yeah.

You know?

Well, Australia Rules and I have a lot of tips for you.

Do you?

Well, no, that's.

I've been there a ton of times.

That's on my bucket list if I wasn't shooting a special there but then i'm like let's go there if we if we can doable buddy yeah it's doable you can do a tour through australia it's not it's not like a crazy reach and doesn't melbourne have like water isn't it beautiful

hip a lot of great murals everywhere it's the coolest city that's where they do the us i mean the australian open tennis possibly yeah that's where they do it but you go to an australian football game aussie football game what rugby no aussie rules football it really only exists in melbourne there's a couple other cities have a team but there's like six melbourne teams wait what is it?

It's a hybrid of

NFL?

Yeah, but it's mostly a version of rugby.

It's closer to rugby.

They're just tougher, huh?

They're just fucking nuts.

Yeah, I mean, I saw somebody get out of bounds and got tackled out of bounds.

A guy was on his leg, and he kept pushing him out of bounds or whatever.

And so then he had to throw the ball in, and this guy didn't realize he was out of bounds.

So he's still holding him trying to make the tackle because he stepped on the line.

And the guy was like trying to set up up the next play.

I don't know, but then the guy was on him, and he just like punched the guy in the face.

No, I didn't, but then they just got up and played.

There wasn't like it wasn't like stopping and play, it was like, oh, I got punched, but whatever.

There was a guy, I just filmed this thing, I can't talk.

There was a guy

in rugby, yeah, and it's the craziest injury of all.

Like, so this guy is that they say he's one of the toughest people in the world.

Like, he played rugby, his head was cracked, his head was cracked, and he got down, he got hit so hard, he was down in the game.

And after the game, he's got blood everywhere, and he's in the locker room.

And his buddy just goes, this is real, by the way, this is real.

And his buddy just goes, hey, dude, what?

Your

testicles, dude.

He goes, your testicles out, dude.

His nutsack,

his nutsack ripped in half.

His testicle was out of his sack with fatty tissue and stuff falling out of it.

And he was so tough that his teammate goes, hey, dude, what's that?

And his, um,

yeah, he goes, hey, dude.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

No, no.

He goes, hey, dude, what's that?

He goes, dude, your testicle is out.

And he looked, his testicle was hanging out of the sack with fatty tissue and blood coming out.

And he just went into the room and they just sewed it back up.

And it was like, that's like the rugby dudes are fucking.

How funny is it that a friend pointed it out?

Like, he would have just went, oh, you just put his jeans on with his fucking nut hanging out of his ball bag.

Rugby players are fucking nuts.

In the wild.

They're nuts.

But I would definitely go check that out when I get there.

Sports is a good thing to do when you're in a place.

But I'll tell anybody, I'll tell all your listeners.

I'm not just saying I know you're like, yeah, Verzee's a fucking guinea.

Listen, Italy, Italy is, I definitely am, but like, it's like you said, I think you made the best point when you said this.

It's when you get closer to the homeland, you're less of an animal and like the good of your home.

country comes out where when you do get further away you're almost like brag about it in this arrogant way when you don't even really know because it's like that's not what it's like it's actually a lot more civil and clean and instead of like braggadocious it's not braggadocious it's pleasant yes they're big on food but they like just in that moment and it's it's delicious um but if you've never been to italy i think that that's it like if i look when i look at this map i'm like i'm not just saying it because i'm italian italy italy and sicily is a must and the fact that it's that close to greece and france it's like go to all of them yeah oh my god where border is france And look, I bet you, how far is Sicily to Greece?

There's a, there's a, in Zermatt, which is right around here, Switzerland, you can ski into three countries.

And you know what we went to during the tour?

We I saw the

Romeo and Juliet balcony.

No way, that's a real thing.

Yeah.

Where's that, Girona?

Yeah, yeah.

No, that's Spain.

No, find out.

Is it, is it, yeah, the Romeo and Juliet balcony.

The real one, or the one that they say was

balcony.

Yeah, there it is.

Balcon.

Yep, I was there.

Girona.

I was there.

Casa Julieta.

I was there.

Juliet's house.

I was, yep.

So

I went, I literally stood under that and looked at that little balcony.

How fucking wild is that?

That's it.

So if you go, yeah, if you go to Verona, Italy, I saw, that's the other thing.

I'm glad we actually got to end on that.

That's Romeo and Juliet.

That's Juliet's window.

Wow.

What a slut.

And yeah.

So that was like the first sneak out.

Fucking.

Imagine some fucking trashed up board like, hey, Billy, where are you?

Billy, come

on.

Like

the Staten Island version.

Like, Maria.

Maria,

shut the fuck up.

Anthony, stop trying to bang Maria already.

And Romeo was like, Julieta.

Julieta.

Come right here.

I don't know how to get in.

This is not going to suck itself.

Julieta, I got the blue balls.

Julieta, your father said it's okay.

No, but dude, and seeing that, and it's so tiny.

Like, that's the one thing everybody was like, oh my God, they were like, that's the balcony that everybody was romanticized about.

But it's literally like a one-person little balcony in Verona, Italy.

And we went to that as well.

Dude, this podcast brought me back to literally things that I didn't see since then.

Wow.

Yeah.

Well, guys, once again, check out Paul Verse's special, Reasonable Man, on YouTube right now at Paulversey, youtube.com slash Paul Versey or at Paul Versey

on Instagram.

Yeah, on Instagram.

Paul Verse, V-I-R-Z-I-Yes, man.

I put my own money up for this special, and we didn't really shop it anywhere.

I was like, you know what?

I'm not waiting and it's doing great.

It's a month, a month

old and it's doing good.

Yeah, I did it at the Den.

We did it at the Den Theater in Chicago.

Sam shot one there.

More real.

Yeah, Sam shot one there.

Todd Barry.

I shot one where Sam shot.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Todd Barry shot one there.

A bunch of people shoot it there.

We made it look really cool.

Bro, that's awesome.

Yeah, dude.

It went really well.

It's getting great reviews.

That looks cool.

Yeah, it's getting great reviews.

And it's my best one yet.

So check it out.

You're a killer.

Dude, thank you so much for having me.

You're Killer.

You're a tough follow.

Dude,

it's like knock.

Oh, there's you in the crowd, too.

Yeah.

That's Burley me.

That's if you were like a real man.

No, we did that on purpose.

We were like, let's get all the bald guys up front.

No, but it was great, dude.

And the people there were great.

Shout out to what's it called?

Jason Katz and James Webb.

Yeah, man, they do a bunch of them, and

they did a fantastic job.

And yeah, man, check it out.

It's doing great.

And go to Italy, man.

Go to fucking Italy.

Dude, we got to go.

You know what we should do, dude?

We should go.

We should get like, you know what I'm saying?

We've been talking for so long, a comedian's like two-day trip.

They wanted to do a comedy festival in Venice.

Dude, if they did, listen, if they do something in Venice, if they give me enough notice.

If 10 comedians from here go to the airport and we go to fucking do a, even if you do Thursday, Friday, Saturday in Venice and they only have like six venues, four venues, fuck it.

Well, the thing is, I've talked to somebody who's running a club in DR, in Santiago.

And

he was like, what?

He's trying to get more Americans to come.

I was just there for vacation.

I said it.

It was an 80-seater.

So it ain't going to happen.

And I was like, what would people want?

Because we could do shows

in the beach, away in the east and stuff and like the resorts.

And I'm like, listen, everybody wants a different thing.

So I don't want a resort.

That's not for me.

But Monroe does.

So I was like, talk to them and have a different experience ready.

So it's to me, it's like, hey, if you want, I have this tour up into the mountains for you.

You're going to come to a show here.

We're going to do a show in the north in the interim.

What do you want to do?

So if they would like, hey, guys, we're going to do a couple shows Friday, Saturday, saturday and then another show the next friday yeah and give us some stuff or thursday friday saturday and then have us for six days give us some tours it's like hey ari shafir ari shafir and bobby kelly like to fucking do this yeah so let them go there uh versey and let tim dylan a little more high maintenance we'll put them there the best festivals that

experiences for you get some experiences like yeah i would like to be more in like i want to hang by the beach in the pool with a cocktail you want to go hiking but dude get us out yeah we got to talk to somebody because they wanted to do that oh you know who who wanted to do it?

Mike Berlina.

Oh, nice.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, Paul, don't worry.

I'll put all your stuff in the beginning.

Yeah, man, dude.

Thank you for having me.

You're the best.

Yeah, Bone to Pick Podcast is killing right now with Bobby Kelly.

Bone to Pick Podcast.

Yeah.

Doing football picks.

Me and Burgess do football picks now

on anything better.

And yeah,

actually, I'm going to be doing

it.

Yeah, I'm going to be something's going to be changing with the Verse Effect for the Better coming up soon.

And yeah, all my handles at Paul Versey, V-I-R-Z-I.

And subscribe to my YouTube channel.

What's going to change soon this will be up not in any time soon uh no we're i'm i'm kind of like you know the way this is traveled yeah well i'm gonna try to do something with that hello

hello yeah

uh no you have the wrong number but you have drugs to sell

prescription drugs

literally over three years they've been calling me really i bought ivermectin once i shouldn't have put my number in that was my mistake is that is that why they keep calling?

Yeah, they're like, what are you, one time?

I was like, what is it going to take to take me off your list?

He goes, by drugs, I'll take you off my list.

Is that what he said?

Shut up, bro.

Yeah.

Sometimes I'm like, you wasted three years of calls.

I told a solar panel guy.

Yeah.

You know, because the solar panel is on the top of the house.

And he's like, you're going to have no energy, bill.

He goes, it's going to be gone.

And I go, he goes, and to start, it'll be 50% off.

So let me talk to my wife.

My wife's like, Paul, I'm not putting those things on a thing.

And Giannis, he lives in my neighborhood.

He got them.

And like, you know, I love Giannis, but we don't like how they look.

But I gave the guy the end to keep calling.

And he's like, you talk to your wife?

Did you talk to your wife?

Now it's just to the point where I'm just going to be like, dude, I talked to my wife.

It's not going to happen.

It's like she said no.

And

she said, I swear to call you in six months.

Yeah.

Oh, it's going to change.

Trust me, when she sees the money, I'm like, just get me off the list.

Here's one thing you can say, though.

You can say, and you don't want to say about it.

And you can do that they won't take me off the list.

What?

No, you could say, like, dude, if you don't take me off the list, I'm going to take legal action.

But like,

I don't want to, I don't want to.

They said, okay, I'll take you up the list.

Maybe 50 different times.

They said, all right, I'll take you off the list.

And then

I called the next day.

Yeah.

It'd be funny if you just started buying drugs.

You're like, fuck it.

All right.

All right, Verse, I love you, buddy.

Yeah, you too, buddy.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Thank you.

That was the episode, everybody.

Don't forget to go watch a reasonable man.

Not a reasonable man.

Reasonable man on YouTube.

Youtube.com/slash at the Paul Versey.

Also, his Netflix special is up there, Nocturtle Admissions.

But you can go see him on the road September 13th at Morris Plains, New Jersey at the Dojo, Punchline in Sacramento, Cobbs Comedy in San Francisco, Toronto, Addison,

Houston, Manasaquan,

and Newtown, Connecticut.

You know what's fun about America?

Monasquan, Monasquan, New Jersey.

There's a lot of towns, streets,

even rivers,

just like geographical

annotations that are named after

peoples

that we eliminated

through

disease, war, and blankets.

And in return for them no longer being around, we've done a little bit of service to them and said, why don't you go to the Algonquin Arts Theater in Monasquan, New Jersey?

What does Monasquan mean?

No one's around who remembers.

Anyway, I'm going to be performing at nowhere, so don't forget to check me out at rsh.com.

You'll be tripping shirts.

Bud, Italy.

So here's where I've been in Italy.

I've never been to the real places like he's talking about.

He also did it right, by the way.

I had an episode with Jordan Jensen about Italy that was so bad that I will not air it.

It was legitimately terrible.

She had to come in and do a different one about Ecuador.

It was really terrible.

Paul Verzi did it right.

This dude is interesting.

Here's what I did.

I went to northern Italy.

My brother, we're going to go to Zurmott skiing in Zurmott.

There's no snow in Zurmott.

We did a fucking hard shift instead of driving two hours that way, drove two hours over into northern Italy.

Actually, I was in Italy twice.

I was on the border of the T-Roll Mountains hiking up in Austria.

And you hike on the border of Italy and Austria.

It's so cool.

They have these like signs.

Maybe stick this in.

They have these little stones that say 1918.

And they're up in the mountains.

And that was the original border after World War I.

And they have these little stones this big.

And you're, then you just walk on Italy, walk in Austria.

The Italian side, barren.

Austrian side, lush.

It's pretty weird.

But

yeah, I was like, what's 1918?

And they're like, that's the line.

That's the border.

So I did that once.

And then we went skiing.

Dude, as soon as you cross over from, it's from Switzerland.

It's all German and Swiss.

As soon as you cross over, it's a bunch of fucking this.

And they stayed.

The accent, the fuck, whatever.

The skiing, they were so good.

They have grappa, the red kind of grappa.

You could buy a ski for three euros.

We do it wrong here in America.

They charge you so much.

They for a little bag of fucking smart chips.

It's like 750.

Grappa, delicious grappa.

Three euros.

This was like, what are like $4?

I don't know.

I actually kind of want to go and do the full Italian thing.

Yeah, I'd like to see the Coliseum.

That does seem cool.

And then I'd also, I think, want the Italian experience of just like stopping in some small town, getting some pasta,

call it gravy.

You remember that from the Sopranos when they all called it gravy, and the Italian Italians were so mortified at the American Italians and how they acted.

That show was pretty funny when people weren't being murdered.

Anyway, that's it, right?

Today's episode is brought to you by, it's produced by Your Mom's House Network.

It's edited by Alan Caffey.

Yeah, I don't know.

Research done by Neanderthal Paletti.

And

next week, oh, what do we got next week?

I know this one.

I know this one.

You gonna help me with it or you just leave me out to dry?

You fucking bitch.

Andy Haynes is taking us to Belize

next week.

That's a really good one.

Andy's a great traveler, and he had some great stories in it and pictures.

And it's just like a really solid, cool, cool trip.

So please hit subscribe wherever you're listening on Spotify, on YouTube.

I'm trying to get up to 200,000 subscribers, and you guys can help me get there by hitting the subscribe button and like a reminder so you know when new episodes are coming out.

But I'm having a lot of fun with this.

Hope you guys are too.

Got a lot of good ones coming.

Small Brain American, sabbatical.

Michael Malice on North Korea.

We got to do that one.

Maybe I'll do that one in September.

That was a good one.

And tons more.

Harley Williams is coming back.

Nominate someone for the trippy awards.

This is Shane Gillis's trippy for what?

Dumbest move.

Hamon overdose in Spain.

Whatever you got.

Best trip.

Most surprising guest, least adventurous, best meal.

Maybe this would be a nomination for best meal when he's eating that and looking

right at all those

old buildings.

That could be possible best meal.

But put on your nominations on the YouTube comments.

All right, guys, that's the episode.

Thank you very much for tuning in.

And

how do you say in Italian?

How do you say goodbye in Italian?

Do you know?

Ciao?

A rivider.

Ciao, Rividerci.

Don't make me come back there.

Ugh.

Italians in America are the worst of the whites.

Hey, I guess I didn't say this enough in the episode.

And I like Paul, but Italians are the worst of the whites.

And I know my knowledge base is not as wide as it could be.

So I'm speaking on a bit of ignorance.

Definitely a bit of experience, but also a bit of ignorance.

And so I don't know Albanians, and I've heard they could be the worst of the whites.

So I'm not familiar.

So with all due slash lack of respect to Albanians, as of right now, Italians are the worst of the whites.

I know Jews are making a comeback on that, but nah, it's not even close.

It's Italians.

The false bravado, the fucking, hey,

hey, you want me to come back there?

They value violence in a way that our society does not value.

They mistreat their moms.

They say they respect them and love them, but they talk like shit to them.

Uh, they're just really

the bad people.

Obviously, listen, guys, they're whites, so you can't take that away from them.

They're still whites, but I'm saying, worst of the whites, Italians.

Prove me wrong.

Who's worse?

Who's worse than why?

Leave it in the comments, guys.

Until next week, every day, chi.