FedSmoker Jr Strikes Again! | Your Mom's House Ep. 836

Speaker 1 What's up everybody? I'll be in Milwaukee this weekend for three shows at the Riverside Theater on November 14th and 15th filming my new stand-up special.

Speaker 1 I'll also be in Las Vegas on Friday, November 21st at Dolby Live. Get your tickets now at tomsegura.com/slash tour.

Speaker 1 Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.

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Speaker 1 Welcome to another episode of Your Mama's Place. And

Speaker 1 we are here and we're queer and we're not going anywhere. Not till we get our rights.
So

Speaker 1 get married to your dog and listen to this show. It's going to be a good one.

Speaker 3 It's almost Jeans Giving.

Speaker 1 I know. I know.
It's going to be a good thing. That's a wild.

Speaker 3 My genes are so tight for it.

Speaker 1 This is the day

Speaker 1 that fucking

Speaker 1 the Indians were walking around, just fucking blowing wind out of their mouths at the air, hoping that it would rain. And luckily, the Europeans came and said, let us show you how it's done.

Speaker 1 And it was a really nice day. And they came and they were like, we have bread and we have chickens and guns.
Do you want to try them? And then everyone became friends.

Speaker 1 And that's kind of a neat thing about Thanksgiving.

Speaker 3 It is. That's exactly how it is.

Speaker 1 Everybody became friends. Yeah.

Speaker 3 You know, can you imagine? I always think about this, how cold it was outside.

Speaker 1 So cold. So cold.
And how hot it used to be, too. We've had air conditioning like 60 years.
Can you imagine what it was like to live like here in Texas? Oh, my God. In the 1850s or something.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. How horrific that would be.

Speaker 3 But even those settlers, like, they were all, fuck you, England. I'm going to go do my shit in America.

Speaker 1 And then they'd take a boat across the ocean.

Speaker 3 So miserable. And then they showed up here and they're all, whoa, it's cold as fuck, huh?

Speaker 3 It's all snowing here and shit, dude.

Speaker 3 And they're like, these Indians got to teach us how to, you know, bug it in shelter.

Speaker 1 But we forget how common death was. I know.
Death just happened all the time.

Speaker 1 It wasn't weird. Like, it wouldn't be like, oh, my God, somebody died.
Everyone was like, yeah, someone, like, 10 people died.

Speaker 3 Just dust it. Well, I was thinking how many times you and I would have been dead already.
Oh, my God. Like, when you broke your arm and snapped your patellar tendon,

Speaker 3 you probably would have just died.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, people would be like, what are we going to do with them? Can't do anything anymore. Just let them die here.

Speaker 3 They wouldn't even have picked you up.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'd always be like, ah.

Speaker 1 And then they would be like, just leave them, I don't know. They'd throw some food down, eat that, and then die.

Speaker 3 Well, they definitely would have amputated your arm. Like, you would eat your arm.
And if you lived through that.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 They didn't probably didn't have wheelchairs.

Speaker 1 How crude would the amputation be? Like, it would be just a saw, and they'd be like, give me some tequila. Like,

Speaker 3 you'd bite the stick.

Speaker 3 It'd be so cool. And then I broke my ankle.
I would have had it. I would be an amputee.

Speaker 1 Just cut shit off.

Speaker 1 They're way dead already.

Speaker 1 I've gotten sick so many times, you know, where you had to have antibiotics and everything. They just would have been like, yeah,

Speaker 1 he's dying.

Speaker 3 It's fine. Or like

Speaker 3 ear infection. You're like, I'm just deaf.

Speaker 3 I'm just deaf.

Speaker 1 Deaf and dead. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 How do people live?

Speaker 1 How did you even survive? You had to be one tough motherfucker.

Speaker 3 Or even like tooth decay. You had a cavity, dude.

Speaker 1 Then you get brain rot. You just just go right into your brain.

Speaker 3 Or they just ripped out your tooth. No anesthesia.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'd all have brown, yellow, and missing teeth. You'd go, and there'd be like four teeth left.

Speaker 3 You know how I'm a gay lord for like

Speaker 3 the 17, 1800s and like the court and all that?

Speaker 1 Gayest person ever. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yes. So I'm really into like Marie Antoinette and that court.

Speaker 3 That's so gay.

Speaker 3 Do you know back in the day, like when all those ladies had those massive gowns? You know, it's not like you fucking pull your pants down and you take a shit in the bidet.

Speaker 3 So they had chairs, like wooden chairs that you would like hoist your dress up in, and then hopefully you sit down and take a pitch.

Speaker 3 And of course, it wasn't flushable.

Speaker 1 There's no plumbing. No, I know.
That's another thing, plumbing.

Speaker 1 Thank God. And how people would smell.
I think about that sometimes. All the time.
Just you sitting in your

Speaker 1 layers of velour. You know, there's like five layers just cooking in there.

Speaker 1 I know, and then bathing with it was a task, so they'd just be like, Well, do it, do it in a few days, or you bathe with like your bathing costume, or imagine the smells

Speaker 1 that would come out as you took them off. Like, it would finally, the smells would come out, and then someone was like, You want to fuck?

Speaker 3 And you'd be like, Oh, well, I was watching this comedy called the Decameron. I'm probably not saying it right on Netflix.

Speaker 3 It's so good, and there's this one scene where these two Lesbos are eating each other out. Nice, and I was like, Dude, like, how bad does that one chick's beaver smell?

Speaker 3 You know, they don't shower and the whole thing. Yeah, this is so funny.
It's so going to fluid bond with Jesse.

Speaker 3 I'm probably not saying right, the Decameron. It's really smart and really funny and well acted.

Speaker 1 I was supposed to say it.

Speaker 3 I have no idea. Can you look that up, Josh?

Speaker 1 I'm sure not. Decameron.

Speaker 1 It's a historical whatever play.

Speaker 3 D. It's Italian, I believe.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 3 And the music's cool.

Speaker 3 Whoever did it.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay, there you go.

Speaker 1 How to pronounce the name of this book. Originates a book, and it's also a TV series, Netflix.
So let's break it down. How to pronounce it.
Yeah, dude, go for it.

Speaker 1 The Cameron.

Speaker 3 De Cameron. Cameron.

Speaker 1 If you want to learn how to pronounce character names, absolutely stage. Okay, well, anyway.
Decameron. Decamer run.

Speaker 3 It's brilliant. It's so funny and dark, and the music's insane, and the acting is insanely funny.

Speaker 3 And they eat each other out in like the smelliest time.

Speaker 3 It's during the plague. It takes place.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Your pussy smells. No.

Speaker 3 I wish. It takes place during the plague.

Speaker 1 So everyone's dying. Oh, for God.
Yes.

Speaker 3 It's a plague.

Speaker 1 Do you realize how common death would have been to you then?

Speaker 1 You would be like, everyone I know is dead. Yeah.
Everyone I know is dead.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's the joke. Like, that's the long-running joke is how frequent people died and characters you love just died.

Speaker 1 How would that affect, I'm saying, your life? You would just, you would not attach yourself to anyone, right? You would have like a distance about it. You know what?

Speaker 3 It's like being old. Yeah.
Because the elderly don't like new relationships, I've heard. Right.
Like, you don't want to get married at 80 because you're like, why am I going to do this?

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 No, I agree. You're probably way more

Speaker 3 flippant with your behavior, but they did believe in an afterlife. So there is a threat of heaven or hell.
So you probably weren't a total piece of shit.

Speaker 3 But you were like, fuck it, dude. I don't give a fuck.
I'm going to die.

Speaker 1 Fuck it, dude. I'm fucking dying.

Speaker 3 Oh, fucking whatever, homie.

Speaker 1 Whatever.

Speaker 1 Come on. Probably were just into.

Speaker 3 I wonder if they effed as much as they do in like the tutors and my TV shows about Henry VIII.

Speaker 1 I think once everyone's dying around you, I don't actually think you go, let's just fuck. Who cares? You're probably just like, I just don't want to do anything because everyone's dying.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Like you, you're like, I have 25 years to live.
I think your horniness probably dips down because you're bummed out all the time about death.

Speaker 1 You're like, God damn,

Speaker 1 I just had lunch and someone died at the fucking table. Like,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 3 That is so true.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Because you're just like, oh, did you hear us? Nicholas is dead? And you're like, oh, okay. What's for lunch? Yeah, it's that common.
It's a lot.

Speaker 1 It's a lot of death.

Speaker 3 And your kids died. You had to have like 10 of them so that two would survive.
Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 you ready to start this thing?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Got something good for you. Here we go.

Speaker 4 Here we go. Name and serial number?

Speaker 4 I mean, my ID number? Where's your serial number?

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 1 Like my people saw? Is that what you're asking?

Speaker 4 Your serial number.

Speaker 1 Could you please? My name's Chris. Okay, so could you please explain specifically what you're needing?

Speaker 4 So what is your serial number? That's how we do things with LAPD. So what is your serial number?

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. So you want like the employee ID number.

Speaker 4 Your serial number.

Speaker 4 that's not the same thing. Oh, that's how LAPD does things.

Speaker 1 We're not in LA, man, are we? No, we're not.

Speaker 1 What is your serial number? If you want my ID number, it's 97474.

Speaker 4 Okay, so that's your serial number.

Speaker 1 Oh, is that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're back, baby. We're back.

Speaker 1 So good, dude. Welcome to your mom's house.
Welcome. Welcome.
Tom Sagura. Tom Sugzugura.

Speaker 3 Christina Pajitsi.

Speaker 1 Meow and Meows.

Speaker 1 Welcome to to your mom's house.

Speaker 3 Meow, meow, meow.

Speaker 3 Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

Speaker 3 Oh, feel it.

Speaker 1 Wow. How are

Speaker 1 these things different? Your serial number.

Speaker 3 Take it easy, fuck it.

Speaker 3 I mean, doesn't this make you believe in reincarnation?

Speaker 1 Yes. This is the same guy.

Speaker 3 It's the same.

Speaker 1 This is the same guy. And he's learned nothing.
Yeah, no, yeah. He's reincarnated to do wreak havoc again.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 There's always a menace, and it's him.

Speaker 3 It's him. God is like, we need this.

Speaker 1 And I got to say this. This cop is like really

Speaker 1 handling this well. Oh, God.
Like, that's as good as

Speaker 1 an exchange can go. If you're, if you're, you're questioning a cop.
Hey,

Speaker 1 what's your fucking serial number? And the guy's like, what?

Speaker 1 And it's King County, right? So he's what? That's in Washington. So he's like, and then this guy's like, LAPD.
He's like, yeah, we're not in LA, buddy. We don't do that.

Speaker 1 He's like, anyway, what's your fucking serial number?

Speaker 3 I know, and he's so sweet.

Speaker 1 What we call PeopleSoft here. That's your employee ID.

Speaker 4 Nope, it's serial number.

Speaker 4 That's how we say it in LA.

Speaker 1 Is this a joke?

Speaker 1 Am I being punched?

Speaker 4 I guess you got nothing better to do but sit around here.

Speaker 1 Finish my lunch, I did.

Speaker 3 I'm sitting here running the unit.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Burning gas.

Speaker 4 Cost maybe...

Speaker 4 $50 to fill up the tank, $50, $100 to fill up the tank.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, no. Gas price isn't that bad.

Speaker 4 so why don't you turn off the units since you have the windows down

Speaker 1 oh otherwise the radio won't work well you got your um handheld radio uh i'm supposed to keep that uh available so when i get out of the car i can actually have battery to use

Speaker 3 he didn't fall pro nobody good

Speaker 3 but how is it that he even has

Speaker 3 the same strain in the voice.

Speaker 1 I know. It's exactly the same.
Probably a similar lifestyle.

Speaker 1 You know? Maybe the lifestyle makes your voice, you know.

Speaker 3 You nailed it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Gene. Yeah.
Bro, Gene, you nailed it. But what is this lifestyle like this?

Speaker 1 Oh, I can go through it.

Speaker 1 Well, you don't really sleep in a regular pattern. You know, you don't go like, well,

Speaker 1 my circadian rhythm is important. It's time to go to bed now.
Right. You sleep at odd hours, usually probably minutes at a time.

Speaker 1 You eat street food and shit from 7-11, probably a lot of sugary drinks.

Speaker 3 You're sleeping in a car.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Or a bus or something.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you don't really lay flat on something comfortable.

Speaker 3 No, you're never laying flat. The holidays are right around the corner, which means it's getting colder and you're probably getting busier.

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Yeah, you're ingesting things that are terrible most of the time.

Speaker 3 It's like a lot of AMPM hot dogs.

Speaker 1 And then there's like some natural gifts you were born with upstairs. And then you probably

Speaker 1 can exacerbate the situation by what other things you drink and smoke. Right.

Speaker 3 Or snort. And I think, too, maybe the yelling.

Speaker 1 Yeah, makes your voice hoarse.

Speaker 3 A lot of yelling. Yeah.
Especially to police officers.

Speaker 1 To the cops. And again, he also, how did they both find cops all the time that were willing to engage? So sweet.
Yeah. Most cops.

Speaker 1 I feel like if you were like, what's your, they'd be like, who the fuck are you?

Speaker 1 Or they should. What are you doing asking me questions, asshole?

Speaker 3 You know, this one's so nice.

Speaker 4 I guess you got nothing better to do but sit up in the shade. And apparently, this is more important.

Speaker 1 Well, these homeless people.

Speaker 1 Yes, it is. You're sitting around doing nothing.

Speaker 3 Oh my God.

Speaker 4 You get paid $200,000 a year like LAPD.

Speaker 1 Absolutely not.

Speaker 3 What agency do you work for?

Speaker 1 Kin County.

Speaker 4 Are you a certified peace officer in the state of Washington? Indeed, I am.

Speaker 1 I'm a fucking American, you fuck.

Speaker 3 What was it? Drew said that cocaine, you run away from the cops.

Speaker 1 Yes. Meth, you run to tourism, yeah.
Cocaine, you see a uniform, you jump out a window.

Speaker 1 And on meth, he's like, you can see like 15 cops. You're like, I'll fuck all you guys up.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You got to get it going, bud.

Speaker 1 That's so good.

Speaker 3 What a treasure.

Speaker 1 Do we have any more? Fed Jr.? Oh, yeah. Fed Jr.
Sure.

Speaker 1 How you doing?

Speaker 1 He's filming these poor little

Speaker 1 sweet college boys.

Speaker 4 Because you don't, but people play out, dress up,

Speaker 1 just like him.

Speaker 4 Pop up the suit.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 You know, you're copying, what is that airline? Southwest Airlines that has their employees wearing shorts and that. You look a fool.

Speaker 1 Why did you know that?

Speaker 3 Yeah, why do you know that? How did you know? How did you trust your job, Imagine?

Speaker 3 Yo, how did he know that was a Southwest employee outfit? Like, I've seen them a million times.

Speaker 1 I couldn't tell you what their outfits are. Some of these guys that get this, like, meth savant shit going on where they can somehow recall things they've seen in passing.
Oh, wow. It's fucking weird.

Speaker 1 It's astounding.

Speaker 3 It's astounding. I can't remember that.
Yeah. And he, and that kid even said it.
He's like, how do you fucking know that? How do you know that?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wow. This is just a fucking college sophomore, right? Sweet.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're just doing their, they're minding their business. They're going to something.
And

Speaker 1 that's what

Speaker 1 the Herc legacy, I would say, is most known for is to disrupt people who are just minding their own business and living their life peacefully.

Speaker 3 But my favorite, too, yes, that's true, Tom, and that's what makes him so special. But I also liked when he would go into like city council meetings.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 Because you have to understand, too, that you've got to wait a long time. You've got to get through metal detectors.
That's the worst. It's the whole thing.

Speaker 3 You've got to listen to a lot of people saying boring stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And then he waits for his three minutes or whatever. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then you accost people.

Speaker 1 Southwest bullets.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you look like a fool. If you're gonna, if you're gonna wear the top, you should wear the bottom.

Speaker 3 That's true. And that's true.
He's right.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, bro.

Speaker 4 Maybe next time I see you, I'll have all your information. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Never know. That'd be a little weird, though.

Speaker 4 It's a little creepy, isn't it?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Some kind of joker or something?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 It is true, though, to wear a blazer and then khaki shorts. Oh, it's goofy as shit.

Speaker 1 It's a horrible look, but you know, it's still just, they're kids.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're kids just doing their, they're going to something together, right? They're probably going to some social event.

Speaker 3 Yeah, is that a fraternity look, Josh? Is that like a thing? Yeah. Yeah, okay.
So they're just... So he targets fraternity boys and police.

Speaker 3 Specifically Sigma Chi fraternity.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Sigma Chi is what he's all about.

Speaker 3 What are the Sigma Chi about? Like, do they represent something that I don't think so. I think he just is kind of obsessed with them.

Speaker 3 I mean, do you know, Cougar, is there more backstory to why that, Frat?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I mean, he also has some problems with Scientology.
Wow, the Church of Scientology.

Speaker 3 That goes without saying.

Speaker 1 He's got this convoluted conspiracy, I think. No.
No.

Speaker 1 Really? This guy?

Speaker 1 He's got another one here. Look.

Speaker 1 Aww.

Speaker 1 Look how cute these boys are. Are you recording us?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 1 Why are you recording us? Because I want to.

Speaker 1 You good, bro?

Speaker 4 Yeah, have a good day.

Speaker 1 Let me record you as well.

Speaker 1 How about it?

Speaker 1 Why are you recording us?

Speaker 4 Because I want to.

Speaker 1 No, but you can't do it without a permission, dude.

Speaker 4 Okay, what what law is that?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 4 What law is that?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 4 Okay, what law says that? Can you name me the statue?

Speaker 1 I don't know. It's just general courtesy, dude.

Speaker 4 Okay, courtesy is not law.

Speaker 4 Have a good day.

Speaker 3 Touching my camera through the fence, you faggot.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Pretty cool. It's statute, by the way.
It's not statue.

Speaker 3 I thought I heard statue as well.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 3 I'm so excited, returned. I'm so excited to see the evolution of this talent.

Speaker 1 Well, it'll end soon. So yeah, it's a great thing to get on now so we can see see how it goes before it ends.

Speaker 3 They burn out so fast.

Speaker 1 They do, man. They do.
It's just the lifestyle of chasing white chariots and calling out, you know, baby rappers. So, yeah, it takes a lot out of you.

Speaker 3 It definitely does. You have to enjoy them while they're here.

Speaker 1 While they're here.

Speaker 3 Listen, as long as we're here,

Speaker 3 let me plug my lipstick. I'm wearing Everel Moore liquid lipstick.
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Speaker 3 I have two shades out right now. It is so luxurious.
I'm wearing them woo-woo right now.

Speaker 3 And yeah, try it out, Christina.

Speaker 1 And it's time to

Speaker 1 get into your holiday shopping now.

Speaker 3 Absolutely. And I would say order them now because I do limited batches.
I order them in limited runs from Italy. Italy.
Italy. Takes a while to get here.

Speaker 3 And then here's the different shades you can choose from. Oh, it's such high-quality stuff, you guys.
And it's fun. It's a little weird.

Speaker 1 Thanks, Meow. Thanks, Meow.
It's me. That's cute.
That's what I'll do.

Speaker 1 So, you guys want to get some blush with your backup?

Speaker 3 Can I do your face?

Speaker 1 Can I do you? No, I'm good. Why? I'm good.
You know who else has a really interesting voice? Hello. Is the lady in this clip? Check this out.

Speaker 5 Thank you.

Speaker 6 I got a disposable one out.

Speaker 7 Oh, dang. I don't have one.

Speaker 5 Yes, you do.

Speaker 6 No, I don't. Why not?

Speaker 5 It wasn't one installed. So I got to get one installed.

Speaker 6 These houses have always had garbage disposals. They always came with them.

Speaker 5 Not in mine.

Speaker 6 I never heard of such a thing.

Speaker 5 He must have took it out.

Speaker 6 What a motherfucking wacko.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I don't have one. I got somebody.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I got somebody to check. I don't have one.

Speaker 6 You looked under the sink? He did, yeah.

Speaker 5 It's not one there.

Speaker 6 Why would you do that?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I bought one. I gotta get somebody to install it.
What'd you buy what'd you buy i bought one from lowe's but i'm gonna wait because i want a new sink so i get it all done at once

Speaker 1 power you know

Speaker 1 horsepower three i just had to order one sounds like joey ts

Speaker 6 second time third time i've already replaced this

Speaker 5 every ten years they go out well at least you got one i don't

Speaker 6 yeah i've always had one

Speaker 6 I never heard of such a thing.

Speaker 6 They all came with garbage disposals.

Speaker 5 Not me.

Speaker 6 Why would you take it out?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 3 Can I tell you something, though?

Speaker 3 This conversation is so stupid and boring. Yeah.
I'm like, I want to shoot myself.

Speaker 1 I know, listening to me. I just could listen to her talking about it.
Her voice is incredible.

Speaker 1 What are you talking about? What are you talking about? I've never heard of such a thing.

Speaker 3 That's literally what she sounded like.

Speaker 1 They all came with garbage disposals.

Speaker 3 This is a voice we...

Speaker 1 Why the hell would you take one out?

Speaker 3 This is a voice

Speaker 3 that you and I heard a lot growing up because of cigarettes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know. It's another bummer.
I know. That we don't get these voices anymore.
They're only in people that are about to die. Yeah.

Speaker 3 This was like vintage. This bitch existed everywhere when you and I were kids.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And, you know, not to make it a thing, but it's also kind of, it also kind of sounds like, you know.

Speaker 3 We were fuck partners. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They have the same kind of register.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We were fuck partners.

Speaker 1 That's why I got a garbage disposal.

Speaker 3 She sounds like crazy. Krusty the cloud.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That is nuts.

Speaker 1 I wonder how much she has smoked. Oh, to do that.

Speaker 3 Because who does Krusty? Is it Dan Castaneda? Castaneda?

Speaker 3 I mean, he's so good. It's that same Krusty.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Dan.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's that register. She's got to have shredded up her voice over years.

Speaker 1 It's just thousands of cigarettes.

Speaker 3 Ripping and darts.

Speaker 1 Ripping darts. Yeah, no, I haven't smoked in years.
That's what she would probably say. It's really bad for you.
It fucked me up.

Speaker 1 Now I'm just, you know, I drink my teas. Yeah.
Yeah.

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Speaker 3 God, I used to smoke so many cigarettes. Do you remember when we smoked? You just smoked like you were immortal.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You were just like, I don't fucking care.
And I'm going to go back. I'm going back, baby.

Speaker 3 When are you going to pick up cigarettes? Soon.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Really?

Speaker 1 I hope so.

Speaker 3 Well, I do think, and this is probably inappropriate to say, but you know, I talked to my oncologist and she's like, there are people that smoke their whole lives. See? Never get lung cancer.
I know.

Speaker 3 And then the person who never smoked a day in their life gets lung cancer.

Speaker 1 Dies of lung cancer. Yeah, it's really crazy.

Speaker 3 Do what you're going to fucking do.

Speaker 1 Knowing my family history, it's probably not a good idea.

Speaker 3 You guys are all made of cancer.

Speaker 1 Everyone's made of cancer in my family. On both sides.
Both sides.

Speaker 3 I know.

Speaker 1 There's like a 0% chance that i'm not getting cancer stop

Speaker 3 yeah well hopefully it's an easy one a nice one

Speaker 3 a nice cancer like um

Speaker 3 what's the the dick one the dick cancer that you just you don't even have to treat yeah yeah i'm not looking forward to that what do you did because sometimes they don't even need to treat that you just have to come a lot right no that's not dr drew said that when he had it remember no

Speaker 3 i think you're that's not the message that's what that's how he got cured no no no no.

Speaker 1 He had surgery. He had his prostate removed.

Speaker 3 And then he had to come a ton. He had to come once a day.
He talked about this before.

Speaker 1 What we're talking about are two different things.

Speaker 1 It's that if you are active and ejaculating a lot, it's good for your prostate. It's good for your prostate to be active, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But once you have an issue with your prostate, if you have prostate, they don't go, just keep coming. It'll beat it.
They have to surgically remove it. Yeah.

Speaker 3 But I'm saying for you,

Speaker 3 wouldn't you love to get, if you have to choose,

Speaker 3 because then you can come a ton.

Speaker 1 No, I don't think you're understanding the situation. That's not how this works.
Okay.

Speaker 3 He did say that on the rehab side of it, he had to come a ton.

Speaker 1 I wonder if my new diet that I'm on will help or hurt that.

Speaker 3 What are you doing now?

Speaker 1 So I hired a bodybuilder nutritionist, and he gave me a plan. And the goal is to get to, you know, like sub 5% body fat.
What? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Is that supposed to happen?

Speaker 1 I mean, it's not, they said you can't maintain it for long because you feel like you're going to die. I just want to see what it feels like.

Speaker 3 What? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Well, of course, you need some fat, Tom.

Speaker 1 Right, a whole 5%.

Speaker 3 Okay, can you Google what's normal for a grown-ass man, especially an elderly man like my husband?

Speaker 1 Excuse me. Excuse me.
Oh, you're elderly. I'm not elderly.

Speaker 3 Aren't you 50 yet?

Speaker 3 67.

Speaker 1 I'm 12 years older than you.

Speaker 3 You look 5,000 years old. Yeah, babe, the normal body fat percentage for middle age, that's you, 40 to 59, is generally considered to be between 11% and 21%.
I'm just going to do three.

Speaker 1 I'm just going to try to get to three.

Speaker 3 Babe, you're going to have renal failure.

Speaker 1 That's fine. We already just went over.
I'm going to die.

Speaker 3 No, it's true. You may as well be hot.

Speaker 1 Hit the show more stuff.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 3 Essential fat, necessary for survival. That's what I'm trying to get to.
You want to get to that. I want to get to that.

Speaker 3 You're almost there. You see.

Speaker 1 I want to get to like almost not alive.

Speaker 3 Do Brad Pitt in Fight Club.

Speaker 1 Was he there?

Speaker 1 Oh, he was low. He was real low.

Speaker 3 What's the fun? Is it just to see your muscles and stuff?

Speaker 1 Yeah, just to see.

Speaker 3 Just to see how good you look.

Speaker 1 He was between five and six.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He was 155.

Speaker 1 It was crazy, dude. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's what you're going to look like. And then you're going to die.

Speaker 1 Probably better than that because I'm going to go down to three.

Speaker 3 How long are you going to sustain this, babe?

Speaker 1 I mean, probably till you collapse. Apparently, you really want to die when it's that low.
I talked to some people. They said, you really want to fucking kill yourself.

Speaker 3 Why is that?

Speaker 1 You just feel like absolute shit. You feel like shit morning, noon, and night.

Speaker 1 And your tee drop, everything, you're just like, you just feel horrible. And then you're like, take a picture.

Speaker 3 So it's just for the aesthetic. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And also just the, I want to see like how far what I will do when I, as I'm pushing myself and I go, I don't want to do this anymore and how far I can push it.

Speaker 3 You got to do a documentary. Yeah.
Like the biggest loser, you know? Yeah. But like, yeah, I'll be fucking really funny, actually.

Speaker 1 Hey, here's a new doc about my body dysmorphia. Yeah.
What's the lowest you've gotten, any? Do you know what your walk around percentage is? Because you're real lean.

Speaker 1 I don't think I've ever checked. I'll pay for you to get a DEXA scan.
Okay. What does that entail?

Speaker 3 They tell you how fat you are.

Speaker 1 You just lay down on this thing and

Speaker 1 it has a full, you get like a full, that thing right there. And then it just gives you...
See that image there on the right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. On the far right? Am I getting knocked out? No, no, no.
Do you put needles in me? No, no, no, no. They're going to put anything in there.
Nothing. You just lay still.

Speaker 1 That's all I'm going to do. You just lay still.

Speaker 1 And then it shows you your skeletal structure and everything going inside. And it tells you, like, it breaks it down like that.
Does anyone touch me and shit? No. No one touches you.

Speaker 1 No one touches you. Yeah.
Okay. I'll do it.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm interested. I want to know what yours is.

Speaker 1 What do you think it is?

Speaker 3 He's like...

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't. I have no like reference.
I have no barometer. Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 He's like a greyhound.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's so lean.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Greyhound.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Like a, you know, like a runner. Yeah.
You're like a running animal.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You are.

Speaker 1 You are like a little gazelle.

Speaker 3 Wait, why do men need fat, though? Because women need it for like... reproduction and like periods.

Speaker 1 I mean various things, right? Like you...

Speaker 1 Well, your body uses fat as an energy source, and then it also provides you with some insulation.

Speaker 3 Like, you know, dude, you're going to be so cold.

Speaker 1 I know. I'm already cold.
I'm colder than I've ever been. I'm cold all the time now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's just from dropping some weight.

Speaker 3 That's true.

Speaker 3 That's true. See, I always thought that was like a fat person myth.

Speaker 1 No. Or like, oh, you're just hot all the time.
I used to stand up and start sweating. So, yeah, it's pretty different now.

Speaker 3 This is exciting for you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I want to be emaciated, you know? I know. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I know. You know, I grew up in the Kate Moss era.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And like, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. That's what she said.
And it's like, it's so true. It looks so much better.

Speaker 3 It looks so much better.

Speaker 1 Yeah, of course. I was thinking of my disdain for that guy we saw at that restaurant.

Speaker 3 I know. I know.

Speaker 3 I know. It was like we saw, we were in Boca and we saw a guy who was like the Monty Python sketch.

Speaker 3 Yeah, waffer is a waffer thing. I'm fool.
When you bring that up, it's like he eats so much that he explodes and pukes everywhere.

Speaker 1 He's just like, just one little waffer. Waffer thing.

Speaker 1 I'm fucking fool. I'm fucking fool.

Speaker 1 It's such a great sketch. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 3 Those guys are so great.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 But I get it. Like, the thing.
Okay, can I tell you what makes me sad? It's because we all want to be that guy.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Just indulge.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but you have to, like, there needs to be a mechanism in your dumb brain that goes, stop it, dummy, because

Speaker 3 you're going to kill yourself.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then some people don't have it.

Speaker 3 Or they do and they just.

Speaker 1 No, you push past it. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Because I get mad because I go like, oh, you're such a waste of life. Like, life is so precious and special to be a human, like, to be incarnated as a human.

Speaker 3 You won the lottery, the cosmic lottery, and like that's what you're going to do.

Speaker 3 It's crazy. I get so upset.
I know.

Speaker 1 That's what I was looking at. That guy, I was like, you're so disgusting.
Yeah. He was so vile.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He was like, hey.

Speaker 1 He goes, hey, we got to move tables. It's not enough room over here.
Yeah. Yeah.
And everybody was like looking around. They're like, what do you mean? He was like, how can we fit? You know?

Speaker 1 And they're like, oh, of course, sir. And then they moved him to a table that was more room than they needed, but not if you're considering how fat he and his buddies were.

Speaker 3 Well, the whole family was like, yeah, it was excessively large, I will say. Like, so that people understand we're not just talking about someone caring.
It was literally like the Monty Python.

Speaker 1 No, it was like the

Speaker 1 Eddie Murphy, like the crumps. What are they? The Crumbs? The Crumps.
Yeah. They were just.

Speaker 3 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 Yeah. They were just fucking

Speaker 1 huge, man.

Speaker 3 The Clumps. Sorry.

Speaker 1 Not the Crumps.

Speaker 3 Yeah, exactly, dude. And you're like, oh.

Speaker 1 Aww.

Speaker 1 Pescio plates away.

Speaker 3 I remember, I know. And we were trying to eavesdrop so that we could hear what they were ordering.
I'm like, I gotta hear what this is. Yeah, yeah.
It's gotta be so much.

Speaker 1 And he sat like this at the table. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 His hands were out here. I was like, God, dude, get your fucking shit together.

Speaker 3 Yeah, get your shit together. Get your luck.

Speaker 1 Where did you go wrong? That's what I kept thinking. I know.
So anyway, seeing him made me go 3%. Yeah.
Get to 3%.

Speaker 3 I agree. I think that's a really healthy goal for you.

Speaker 1 You think so? Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 3 It's not bad.

Speaker 1 I'm just going to get down to

Speaker 1 perfect. Until I'm like, I can't.

Speaker 3 Could you not try? Just do me a favor. Yeah.
Just could you not try to actively kill yourself? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Is it just, is this being married to me? You're like, I got to try to die before

Speaker 1 I never thought of that.

Speaker 1 Huh.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Because you really have a leaning towards self-torture.
It's like, I'm going to do the cold plunge, and that's terrible.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I'm going to pull the plow in the backyard. What is that stupid horse shit the sled? Yeah.
Now I'm going to get down to 2% body fat. I really think.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. I was thinking of three.
All right. Two is the new goal.

Speaker 3 Are you like suicidal?

Speaker 1 Is it me?

Speaker 1 You know, I'll take that one to therapy this week. It's a good one to explore.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
You should go for the world record. With the world record.
I don't know. I'm just saying you should go for the lowest possible body fat.
Oh, let's see.

Speaker 3 It's got to be like, what about like athletes? Whoa.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 1 Dude, that guy looks perfect.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Is that what you're going to look?

Speaker 1 Two percent. He's two percent.
Yeah, I can't get to that.

Speaker 3 He looks like beef jerky.

Speaker 1 It's a it's a beautiful goal, but I can't get to that. It's not beautiful.
I don't like that. What do most bodybuilders compete at? Like, what, what's their when they're competing? What are they at?

Speaker 1 I don't like that at all.

Speaker 1 I wonder, it's got to, I mean, it's got to be five around there, right? Three to eight. Okay.

Speaker 1 And women, it's 10 to 15.

Speaker 3 So that's

Speaker 1 so low. Yeah, let's just do it, man.

Speaker 1 Let's just do it. Okay, look at these percentages.
Bodybuilding, three to eight. Gymnastics, five to twelve.
Marathon runners, five to eleven. Triathlon, five to twelve.

Speaker 1 Soccer, ten to eighteen. Tennis, twelve 12 to 16.

Speaker 3 But for women, 15 to 20. And

Speaker 3 that means you're losing your period at that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We have to be way higher than you guys. Yeah.
It's going away, dude. That's gnarly.

Speaker 3 Nobody wants to hear that.

Speaker 1 That sounds drinking. Anyway, so you're going to be seeing some kind of dramatic things coming these next few months.

Speaker 3 I hate the fucking machinist,

Speaker 3 Christian Bale.

Speaker 1 Well, the interesting thing is,

Speaker 1 you know, I got the plan. It's not starving.
You're not starving. You're actually just eating.
You're eating more times a day, but you're just eating specific things.

Speaker 3 What are you eating? Just chicken?

Speaker 1 It's a secret.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's a lot of lean stuff. Yeah.
And then, yeah, there's some, there's carb cycling. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Carb cycling?

Speaker 1 Yeah, high days, medium days, low days.

Speaker 3 What the fuck? It's just Tom.

Speaker 1 What? Why is that crazy?

Speaker 3 What are you doing? What is this? Fucking 3%, man. What is this? You don't have enough challenges in your life.

Speaker 3 You're writing the TV show. You're taping a special.
You're touring. You've got a family.
And now you got to torture your body on top of this. Like, what is going on? Just do drugs.

Speaker 3 Could you just start taking drugs? Yes. You're such an, is this an addict's brain? Is that what this is? I don't know.
You can't be still.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 3 Just be still. Enjoy your money.

Speaker 1 Stop it. No, you got to do something else.

Speaker 3 Can I tell you what I've been doing? Yeah, I want to actually take a minute here to thank Rob Eiler. Yeah.

Speaker 3 So, look, since

Speaker 3 I was sick last year, I started crafting pretty hard. And I really thank you for not pointing out the excessiveness of my supply buying.

Speaker 1 You do a lot of bullshit.

Speaker 3 A lot of bullshit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's always a number of bullshit things that arrive at the house, usually on a daily or, you know.

Speaker 3 It's daily, it's hourly.

Speaker 3 It's a problem. Yeah.
I admit that. But yeah, I mean, we started off, I started off drawing, drawing you nude, which I sold that, which was very good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was awesome. Thank you so much for that.

Speaker 3 And then acrylic painting. And then I got into clay.

Speaker 3 And then I got to paper-mache. And I was buying like mannequins to put paper-mache on and paint.

Speaker 3 And then I was telling Rob about the paper-mâché because I've got like paper-mâché pumpkins lying around. The kids are going to paint them.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 i was saving newspapers to use later for the paper-mache sculptures that i'm making saving boxes saving papers and rob was like christina you gotta stop this you gotta stop this i go why because you're gonna ruin your marriage this is this is deal breaker type of shit and i just want to thank you rob because i threw away all the paper-mache horse

Speaker 3 i knocked it off I'm gonna fuck it. I'm not gonna do that stupid stuff anymore because it is a, it's a lot of bullshit around the house.
You're right. And I'm just gonna, now I'm into watercolors.

Speaker 3 I just bought one little tiny palette and just

Speaker 3 one pad. That's all I'm gonna do for now.

Speaker 1 Nice. Watercolors.
Watercolors.

Speaker 3 So maybe some art will be coming out of you, those beautiful blue eyes. Okay.
But thanks, Rob. You're right.
It was bullshit.

Speaker 1 Maybe I'll get into some artsy stuff too, okay?

Speaker 3 Would you like it? You know, can I tell you something? Can I talk to you for a second? Yeah.

Speaker 3 You'd enjoy it, but there's something about you that likes to torture yourself more.

Speaker 3 Like this kind of shit, like I got to get down to 3% body fat. Like there's something in you that the self-flagellation bit,

Speaker 1 you like that.

Speaker 3 That's true. You like to really fucking push it.
Yeah, I don't know why. You don't like to enjoy yourself.
This is not,

Speaker 3 you either pushing it to the max like that,

Speaker 3 or you're just like chilling in bed watching murder. Like those are your two.

Speaker 3 It's like I perform in front of 10,000 people in an arena, or I'm isolated in the house watching murder.

Speaker 1 Okay. You just described what it is to be a man.

Speaker 3 Is that right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. We kind of, yeah.
Like, if we succeed, like, there's no succeed. There's no success.
Like, you just got to do the next thing. Oh.
You got to hurt yourself.

Speaker 1 You got to feel like you're accomplishing something, beating something, you know?

Speaker 3 Yes, that does make sense. Yeah.
No, that's lovely. I do like that.

Speaker 1 Plight of the man.

Speaker 3 It is. What is it? Is it testosterone?

Speaker 1 I don't know if it's testosterone necessarily. I mean, I'm sure that plays a role in it, but I don't know.
I don't know why that's the thing that men, a lot of men, just go,

Speaker 1 well, don't, I guess it's just don't be complacent.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you guys have itchy assholes. Yeah, you got to scratch them.
You got to scratch your asshole. You got to get out of the house.
I got to go. I got to build.
I got to do. I got to.

Speaker 1 But I also feel like I'm a better person

Speaker 3 than other people. No.

Speaker 1 I'm a better version of myself when I'm doing things.

Speaker 3 100%. Because a man who doesn't have a purpose becomes

Speaker 3 very fucked up.

Speaker 1 That's real. That's very real.

Speaker 3 Oh, sure. We've known men like this.

Speaker 1 We know them. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 They don't figure something out, like a passion or a drive. It's not good.
It's not good. It's not good.
But you know, can I tell you, can I talk to you?

Speaker 3 This is what...

Speaker 1 Jesus, could you make more sounds over there?

Speaker 3 Stupid. I'm a fucking idiot.
But the thing is, as I've noticed about like what, you know, we've been married for 20,000 years.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, so long

Speaker 3 Is that I got to let you have your itchy asshole?

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3 Don't even fight the itchiness.

Speaker 3 Let you itch it scratch it get in there Dig it in and then you'll come back when you're ready when your asshole's thoroughly cleaned out and irrigated and you're exhausted. Yeah, then you come home.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And then I'm like, hey, babe, how's your, how's your butt?

Speaker 1 That's your summary. That's a pretty good summary, right?

Speaker 3 Yeah. Whereas me, like, I used to have an itchier asshole and now that I'm like, I'm chilled out.
I love being home. I love gardening.
I love my bullshit crafts.

Speaker 1 You find joy in it. The cats, the kids.
You're able to just be there. To be.

Speaker 3 But I think women, yeah, when you're balanced, you can exist. You're being.
Yeah. And then the man is doing.

Speaker 1 I think men struggle with that more.

Speaker 3 Being. Yes.
And I know, and I always think it's weird that they're spiritual leaders. Like, they should definitely not be.
They should be.

Speaker 3 Men have to come and do things too hard. Yeah.
They're not qualified. They're not.
They're not. Okay.
I have to piss. And then I want to discuss who this is here, too.

Speaker 1 Okay, go take your pee.

Speaker 1 How was your pee?

Speaker 3 It was good. It didn't smell like coffee anymore.
Yeah. So I drank enough water.

Speaker 6 Nice. I just motherfucking wacko.

Speaker 3 I love her so much. She's great.

Speaker 1 She's really great. Motherfucker, wacko.

Speaker 1 Every house here has a garbage disposal. What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 Why would he take it out?

Speaker 1 You gotta get three-quarters horsepower to run it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So cool. Thank you for that.

Speaker 3 That is a very East Coast vibe, though.

Speaker 3 This is not a West Coast. Like that voice never happened.

Speaker 1 No, that's definitely in the Northeast. Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's a sad, shut-in. I feel like I don't know this person, but I'm saying like

Speaker 3 Josh Potter. Like, I imagine somebody he's related to is this person.

Speaker 1 That's hilarious.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's like, oh, that's my aunt Edna.

Speaker 3 A thousand. Yeah.
Yeah. Like a raw chest.

Speaker 1 I'm the one to get Josh started on smoking.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 1 Exactly. He was gnawing.

Speaker 3 This is your aunt's house that you go to, and she's got the cookies, the fucking Royal Dance cookies from Rite Aid or whatever. Everything's from the fucking pharmacy.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 She's rad, man.

Speaker 3 She's a good one, yeah. Very American.
Oh, sorry.

Speaker 3 This one, this is really cool. As you know, I collect all the Barbies that have come out.

Speaker 3 This one is type 2 diabetes Barbie.

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 3 Which is really special. It comes with her little monitor.

Speaker 1 Sure, it's sold out. I mean, it's got to be gang.
All the kids are like, well, I want diabetes Barbie.

Speaker 3 Can I tell you how they could actually sell this? You guys are doing good.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Our sons would take this and fuck it up.

Speaker 1 Of course. They'd break the arms off of it.

Speaker 3 That's the only way you're going to sell this is if you sold this to little boys so they could fuck them up.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then Julian would be like, I'm trying to feed him donuts so that that sugar spikes.
Exactly.

Speaker 3 Okay. Exactly.
Or like the wheelchair Barbies, like our guys would race those down the drive. Of course.

Speaker 1 I guess, you know, I mean, it's fair to say, representation does matter.

Speaker 1 So this is just so that, you know, the little girl out there who has diabetes feels like, oh, this is a doll that looks just like me, right?

Speaker 3 Well, as long as she's hot.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 This doll is hot and sick like me.

Speaker 3 They're always hot like even the Down syndrome Barbies are like hot.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 3 it's the weirdest.

Speaker 1 I mean, I guess I guess Barbie is still a dream, you know she's got her her mobile phone and it's it's set to the screen where you're monitoring your insulin, which is always fun for a child.

Speaker 1 You're like, oh, yeah, my insulin.

Speaker 1 And then you can see the built-in pouch.

Speaker 1 It's kind of cool. But she's got a sexy, she's got sexy shoes and a sexy purse and her sexy little skirt.
Nice.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 Is that the case? Like, when you have an illness, do you want to play with

Speaker 3 a doll that helps you cope with it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I think you want to see things, people that look like you. I think that makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 3 Does she wear, does she have heels, really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, look.

Speaker 1 Look in there. Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's so funny.

Speaker 1 I've got diabetes, but

Speaker 3 still hot.

Speaker 1 Still hot. Yep.

Speaker 3 It's a mini skirt.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 3 This is brilliant. Oh, she's even, yeah, she's got the patch on her on her arm that's constantly monitoring.

Speaker 1 How come they don't have like sex worker Barbie?

Speaker 1 You know? Like a straight-up hoe. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, you don't think they want to see themselves represented.

Speaker 1 The children of a sex worker go. How come there's not one that looks like you, Mom?

Speaker 3 Thank you. Do better, Barbie.
Do better.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I agree. You want to see something that's fantastic? Ombi.
You like music, right?

Speaker 1 I love music.

Speaker 1 You can run,

Speaker 1 you can scream,

Speaker 1 you can hide,

Speaker 1 but you cannot

Speaker 1 escape.

Speaker 1 Spider will be sick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was fucking

Speaker 1 says J-Lo, if you're listening.

Speaker 1 She's been in the news lately saying that like what she's all about is

Speaker 1 Broadway and that she was trained in musicals and like I guess this is like a new direction she's going to go in. Oh, okay.
So that she was singing here with her coach, Stevie.

Speaker 1 And it said the review here says she has received a good amount of hate for this.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 3 Yeah. But she's so likable.

Speaker 1 That's so weird. Yeah.
She's so humble. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So sweet. So I guess like that's what she's pushing towards next: is to be on Broadway.

Speaker 3 Which is not a bad business move when you're not moving tickets for the concert. Yeah.
Because I think these people that watch

Speaker 3 musicals, I'm not one of them. It's just not my jam.
But I think when you have a celebrity headlining them, it's a big deal.

Speaker 1 It's a big deal. It's a draw.
It's a big deal.

Speaker 3 I might go see it just to see her going,

Speaker 1 she walked away from that though. Like, you just heard that shit.

Speaker 3 That's why it's so good.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 that's why it's so powerful because she believes she's amazing.

Speaker 1 I did that, yeah,

Speaker 1 I did that,

Speaker 3 yeah.

Speaker 3 She does have the confidence of like our seven-year-old.

Speaker 1 I mean, I think maybe that's why you're a superstar. Yes, you have to have a real crazy level of confidence, yeah.

Speaker 3 Yes, and look, in her defense, that level of but I'll say this has gotten her that far.

Speaker 1 Normally, when you see

Speaker 1 really impressive voices,

Speaker 1 they go, you know, they finish the note they're singing and they're just kind of like, there you go.

Speaker 1 And everyone goes, holy shit. And they go, oh, come on.
Me? Shucks. Yeah.
But this was different.

Speaker 3 This was different. That's so true.
Like Placido Domingo, you would watch him and he would just kind of look down at the floor. Like, I felt that.
I felt it. And now it's out of me.
And yeah,

Speaker 3 there's not a lot of

Speaker 3 humility.

Speaker 1 Yeah, in this one.

Speaker 3 But this is why I think it'll be interesting to see her do Broadway because I feel like Broadway too,

Speaker 3 you're going to get reviews.

Speaker 1 Tons. Every night.

Speaker 3 Every night, you're going to get that feedback straight away from the audience. Oh, yeah.
You're going to get canceled in a week. You know what I mean? Like, you got to fucking put ass in seats.

Speaker 3 I wonder how long she can do that for in Broadway.

Speaker 3 I don't know. I'm here for it.

Speaker 3 What is she going to do? Do we know what play or what music?

Speaker 1 I don't think it's said. I'm saying she's put it out there.
Like, what I'm

Speaker 3 great at. What I'm really.

Speaker 1 good at.

Speaker 3 Yes, yes, yes. That's right.

Speaker 1 I remember reading this. Oh, is this what it is?

Speaker 3 This is the new movie that's out, but it's a musical.

Speaker 1 Oh, it is a musical. Okay.
And is it out now?

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah, it came out in October 10th.

Speaker 1 I mean, look at the reviews on it. That's out at the end.
77%. That's not bad.
Never even heard of it.

Speaker 3 No, that's fantastic. Yeah.
I love Kiss of the Spider-Woman. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 And so, so what are, so

Speaker 3 what are people saying? I've never even, I didn't even know this was out.

Speaker 1 This happens all the time now, though. Movies come out, and it's not the same.
It's not like it used to be where you would always know what's out. It's different.

Speaker 3 Because this is a major undertaking. Kiss of the spider webs.
Yeah, let's see. Let's see.

Speaker 1 Let's read what's going on with this. Let's see what it is.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 This is a musical drama film written and directed by Bill Condon based on the 1992 stage musical.

Speaker 1 It stars Diego Luna, Tona Till, and Jennifer Lopez.

Speaker 1 Let's see. Positive reviews from critics.
Yeah, it looks like it's well reviewed. But it is a major box office bomb.

Speaker 1 Grossing just $2 million against a budget of $30 million. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it's not, people aren't going to see it, but

Speaker 1 they're saying it's good.

Speaker 3 That's so interesting because I feel like JLo really had a.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's really crazy. What's going on? I don't know.

Speaker 3 Is it social media now that we're seeing people's personalities?

Speaker 1 People find her generally very unlikable.

Speaker 3 I know, and I've heard story after story.

Speaker 1 Oh, there's a lot of stories. I have a personal story.
I know one firsthand.

Speaker 3 Can you share it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I guess I can.

Speaker 1 So a couple years ago, I was on tour and I was doing the bus thing. So I was chartering buses.

Speaker 1 And I don't really like it. Like, I don't like the bus lifestyle just personally.
But, you know, it was just, it was a bus tour. So every week, bus would either pick you up.

Speaker 1 at your house or you'd fly to the bus and the bus would take you for the run of the tour. And I hadn't signed a lease for like one time I did a bus for a year.

Speaker 1 This was was like before I had done that. So I would charter different ones.

Speaker 1 And so one time I had some leg coming up and they offered me this really nice bus. They're like, they showed me photos.
Like, this is like a state-of-the-art bus. So I did it for like a week or two.

Speaker 1 It was like just a short period of time. And I got there and I was like, this bus is unfucking real.
I mean, the bus looked like a luxury hotel. It was crazy.

Speaker 1 And when I got on, you know, I'm looking at it and talked to the driver, a really nice guy. And he was telling me all about, you know, all the features that it has.
It's like totally state-of-the-art.

Speaker 1 It was incredible. And I go, God, like, this bus feels like it's, you know, for a fucking superstar.
And he was like, well, like, it just was with J-Lo.

Speaker 1 And I go, no shit. And he goes, yeah, she had it for like

Speaker 1 six months or something, you know, for her tour. And I go, what was that like? And he was like, well,

Speaker 1 he's like, you know,

Speaker 1 everybody in the camp is really nice and kids are nice and

Speaker 1 her boyfriend at the time was really nice everyone's really nice and I was like but he's like well he's like we you know we never spoke and I was like for six months he's like nah we never exchanged driver the driver yeah he goes and I drove her like all over the country and then

Speaker 1 he goes the day that I dropped her off so it was like this was the last day I dropped her off at her house and she just didn't make make eye contact just walked off and walked away like never said like goodbye.

Speaker 1 Thanks. Just nothing.
Wow. But that to me is indicative of like a personality type.
If you're the type that has somebody drive you for six months,

Speaker 1 you don't even say

Speaker 3 to really understand the gravity of this too. So this bus life you're speaking of, it's very intimate.

Speaker 1 It's very intimate.

Speaker 3 It's you, the driver.

Speaker 3 Sometimes that's it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, sometimes that's it. Sometimes it's, you know, the driver or somebody.
But the driver of a, like a, a charter bus like that, it's different, right?

Speaker 1 They are, they're not just, it's not like a bus in a city that's taking you from like stop to stop.

Speaker 1 That driver is the, he is the captain and the cleaner and the maintenance guy. He is, he is, he's like your pilot of the, you know what I mean? He does everything.

Speaker 1 So you have, you have a lot more interactions with them. It's not like, you know, when you, at a bus stop, you get get on, you just walk on.

Speaker 1 You walk on in the morning and, you know, you greet them and then you realize that, like, oh, they, they had, like, cleaned up this section of the bus and everything is taken care of.

Speaker 1 And then, you know, he washed the windows and he made sure that like there's pillows on your bed. Like, he does all of that.
That's crazy. So you have like a really intimate, yeah.
Like,

Speaker 3 but even, okay, but even from like a human thing. No, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1 Hey, Rick. Good morning.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I got to take a shit, but I don't want to shit in a moving bus. Can we pull over so I can stop and shit?

Speaker 1 She would relay that to somebody else, right? Duh. Well, yeah.
She never talked to him for six months.

Speaker 3 Just from like a safety or like a human.

Speaker 1 It's bizarre. But again, that's tough to do.
There's something about like pop stars where they, you know, the whole thing is they be they're divas.

Speaker 3 I guess, yeah. I mean, in my world, in my mind, it would be harder not to speak directly with him.

Speaker 1 You'd have to make an effort to not speak to to that person. Yeah.
Can you tell me that?

Speaker 1 Also, don't forget there's also the moment that is where you kind of have the most interactions, especially with a familiar face, which is getting on and getting off.

Speaker 3 Yeah, every time.

Speaker 1 We would pull up to venues and you just walk up and be like, all right, Rick, thanks. I'll see you in a few hours.
Like, she never did that. Or you get back, or like the show's over, doors open.

Speaker 1 What's up, man? Where are we headed tonight? And he's like, four-hour drive. All right.
I'll see you when we're there. Like those things, none, zero.

Speaker 3 Wow. And I also heard a story, I don't know where, it was on the internet somewhere, where

Speaker 3 it was before she was really, really, really famous. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And she wanted to see a movie at a movie theater, and she had them lock down the entire

Speaker 3 theater so that she could come in the back way and watch a movie. And this is well before she had.

Speaker 3 that type of celebrity to do something like that.

Speaker 1 I don't think people would care care if she went anywhere now.

Speaker 1 I think 0% would flip out.

Speaker 3 And not only that, like I would say that, you know, you're very recognizable these days.

Speaker 1 And like, we move around.

Speaker 3 It's really not that crazy.

Speaker 1 People just come up to you and they say hi.

Speaker 3 It's not.

Speaker 1 Or they stare at you and say nothing. That's the other thing.
Right. Which is just what it is.

Speaker 3 But if you were to go to a movie and just kind of sneak in with a

Speaker 3 you're not gonna yeah, this is not she's not that amazing.

Speaker 1 Well, that's you're not that type, you know.

Speaker 3 Michael Jackson would have to have done that. Yeah.
That's different.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I actually think that Taylor Swift.
Yeah, she can't do that. She can't.
But most celebrities, I'm talking about high-level celebrities. No.
They can go into the movies. It's fine.

Speaker 1 People would just be like, holy shit, that's who it is. And that's it.

Speaker 3 And they shut up and they leave you alone.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No.

Speaker 3 Nine times out of ten, it's normal. It's normal.
So she didn't need to.

Speaker 1 Which means that, like, she, that's the funnier part, actually, is that she had to go, like, we need to shut down this venue. And then somebody like in her management had to be like uh

Speaker 1 wait why uh hello i'm gonna get absolutely mobbed

Speaker 1 hello then the business manager would be like that's such a crazy amount of money to spend on that she's like do you want me to get fucking attacked and they're like

Speaker 1 okay

Speaker 3 all right that's fine right it again and and also you can also just watch the movie at home you could probably get a screener hello

Speaker 1 That means somebody would have to bring it over to the house.

Speaker 3 I don't think so. Why are you ruining that theater's day? That's just dealing with your nonsense.

Speaker 1 Let's pivot to something more. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 The woman's guitarist can have

Speaker 1 red colours giving energy, light force.

Speaker 1 And we have green color, healing power. Okay.

Speaker 1 And white color is disinfection.

Speaker 1 Hold on.

Speaker 1 Women make love.

Speaker 1 And they think that the husband needs more energy. So use your thumb, point it to the cataris and change the clip and the vagina into red color.

Speaker 1 So when you make love, you can feel that you have more red energy and you can give your loved one with more

Speaker 1 life for.

Speaker 3 But what's the green? That's infection.

Speaker 1 No, white. Disinfection.
Oh. Right.
Green is healing power. There's no way.

Speaker 3 I never had it green.

Speaker 1 Well, you need to. I don't know what's going on.
You've got a lot of problems.

Speaker 3 I've only, you know, I don't even know if I had a white. Yeah, this is great.
I'm not so sure.

Speaker 1 We got to get you into more of.

Speaker 1 Green are balanced and have compassion.

Speaker 1 Whites are purifying and calming. Yeah.
But red, red's fire.

Speaker 3 Reds at.

Speaker 1 You got to get that clit red.

Speaker 3 It's a new shirt. Stop it.

Speaker 1 Can we do a red clit red? No, no.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm going to puke.

Speaker 3 No woman wants to hear this.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 3 It's so gross.

Speaker 1 What's gross about it?

Speaker 3 You red quit.

Speaker 1 What's gross?

Speaker 1 He's giving you energy advice. You don't think that's good?

Speaker 3 I do think that obviously sex is an exchange of energy, but I don't like the color coordinated.

Speaker 3 I don't like it when he talks about it. Should there be a woman that can be a good idea? Do you like this?

Speaker 1 She doesn't want to

Speaker 1 come over for a snack and go, um.

Speaker 3 That was cool.

Speaker 1 I kind of liked it. You liked it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because he flubbed it.

Speaker 1 He flubbed it? Oh, oh.

Speaker 3 He wasn't cool.

Speaker 3 It wasn't slick.

Speaker 1 But isn't it kind of cool to be a little guy with a huge hog like that? Yes. That's kind of cool.
Yes. It's kind of the best case scenario.

Speaker 1 If you're a little man, you have a big old dong like that. But don't you think.

Speaker 3 What? I mean, this is probably stupid, of course, but don't you think they all have big ones in relation to being small in stature? No.

Speaker 1 I mean, i think it's just like any other segment of the population just relative penises no no i think it's relative i think this guy has a genuinely large dong

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 sometimes they do sometimes i don't want to i don't like it okay you just want to come

Speaker 1 over for a snack and go um

Speaker 3 he's an attractive lp though he is he's got a really nice face yeah and he's got a big old dong how do you know it's so big how do you know i mean i was just looking in the

Speaker 3 what am I what do we how do you see it?

Speaker 1 I didn't see it the first time. Okay, hold on.

Speaker 3 Oh, it's there.

Speaker 1 No, you're seeing the shadow though.

Speaker 1 Oh

Speaker 3 Whoopsie. Yeah, I miss that, but don't you think you could cheat that with shadow work? Like things look bigger?

Speaker 1 I mean, you could cheat it to an extent, but you can't make it something it's not.

Speaker 1 I didn't see the shadow. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I'm not looking for dicks all the time like you are.

Speaker 1 Well, it's just it's right there. I mean, I didn't have to search hard.

Speaker 3 I was looking at his face and his delivery.

Speaker 1 You don't want to have a little snack?

Speaker 3 I hate you so much.

Speaker 1 All right. I'll get you something you like.

Speaker 3 I don't like these guys.

Speaker 1 What do you not like, man? Don't you love pickles?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I love pickles. I have an extreme fear of trying new foods.

Speaker 1 And today, I'm going to try my absolute

Speaker 1 number one fear food.

Speaker 1 He's computed.

Speaker 1 He's hyperventilating over there.

Speaker 3 Well, they're slimy, they're crunchy. I get it.
They're seedy.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 They smell weird.

Speaker 1 God.

Speaker 1 This fucking guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I could see myself. He smells so bad.

Speaker 3 So weird.

Speaker 1 It's like slimy. Yeah.
It's green.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's weird.

Speaker 1 He's never.

Speaker 3 He's not going to go out.

Speaker 1 You think he's going to do it?

Speaker 3 He's going to puke.

Speaker 3 Because the steak he tried, he didn't have the

Speaker 3 typo negative.

Speaker 1 And he's already...

Speaker 3 Wow, he's a mess. Wow, he really hates this.

Speaker 3 Then why are you doing this to yourself? You don't have to eat a pickle.

Speaker 1 You've got to make content.

Speaker 3 There's no nutritional value here.

Speaker 1 One.

Speaker 1 Do it.

Speaker 1 You can do it. I can't do it.

Speaker 4 Oh, you pussy.

Speaker 3 He's definitely not Eastern European.

Speaker 3 You fucking bitch. Just eat it.

Speaker 1 I can't do it. I can't.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 bro. You can't even post this.

Speaker 3 Yeah, bro. That's not cool.

Speaker 1 You didn't even fucking eat it?

Speaker 3 At least take a little lick. Like, touch your tongue to it.

Speaker 1 Take a little tongue. get your clit red

Speaker 3 what cut but i i can see myself getting this mentally ill can't you yes of course yeah

Speaker 3 of course this this could be me in a bad in a bad year in a week in a week yeah like i don't eat white things i don't eat

Speaker 1 chariots everywhere yeah

Speaker 1 what's your cereal number Yeah, I could see you doing that real soon.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. But I love pickles.
This is not, it wouldn't be pickles pickles for me. It would be things like chicken, because I get weird about germs.

Speaker 3 Tuna fish is gross.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Sushi, I would stop eating raw fish. It would be more about those things for me, like bacteria, getting sick.
Yeah. What would your,

Speaker 3 do you think? Like, how would you go?

Speaker 1 How would I go mental?

Speaker 3 Yeah, like, what would your mental illness be?

Speaker 1 Reckless. Like, probably

Speaker 1 isolate.

Speaker 3 Howard Hughes style.

Speaker 1 Yeah, be real isolate. Don't talk to anybody anymore.
Yeah. At all.

Speaker 1 Just fucking shut the door. Make it dark.
Yes. Totally.

Speaker 1 Sit in the room. Totally.
And then there'd be papers and shit everywhere.

Speaker 1 Like, what are you doing? Like, working on some shit I'm writing. And then you just see like one letter written.
Like

Speaker 1 J

Speaker 1 70 times. You're like, okay.

Speaker 3 Are you into video games or are you that shut in that you're not even communicating with others on video games?

Speaker 1 i mean i could do video games i probably wouldn't communicate with people though i would just do like without that yeah no i could do that but i think i would actually just get into a deeper isolation and throw the system off the roof yeah

Speaker 3 yeah yeah i can see myself going crazy with this food thing and then with um animals like i can see myself adopting so many animals.

Speaker 3 It starts with the cats, I need the dogs, I'm going to get the chickens, I want to get a goat. It's going to be like that.
Yeah. I mean, a house full of animals shitting everywhere.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 And hair everywhere in the bed and stuff. And it smells bad.
And you're like, babe,

Speaker 3 I can't. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You as cat lady, that could be a thing.

Speaker 3 Cat lady, dog lady.

Speaker 1 Dog lady. Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's just all the animals, birds, shitting everywhere.

Speaker 1 Just pissing shit all over the house.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that would be my thing.

Speaker 1 These are my babies. 100%.
Oh, fuck. Yeah.
Yeah, that's my problem. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. You're the opposite.
See, because want the companionship and love.

Speaker 1 You want isolation. Yeah.
No human contact. Yes.

Speaker 1 I could see that.

Speaker 1 This is a horrible or hilarious. Are you ready? Yeah, buddy.
I'm so excited. I haven't seen any of these.

Speaker 4 Now is the badass. You buddy again.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'll fuck.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck!

Speaker 1 Oh, he's holding on.

Speaker 1 Bro, that car's going like 40. Holy shit.

Speaker 3 That's where it ends?

Speaker 3 What? Did his hand get stuck in the window in the door?

Speaker 1 Holy shit. Oh, my fucking god.
There were no further reports on the incident. It was never found.

Speaker 1 And NYPD getting involved. Holy shit.

Speaker 3 Please, let's see it again. Let's see the beginning.

Speaker 1 I don't know if he got stuck or he held on.

Speaker 1 He's yelling.

Speaker 1 Hey, hey.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Smart to pull the feet up.
That was smart. Oh my fucking God.

Speaker 3 He was just holding on to the door handle.

Speaker 1 I mean, I think his hand was on the inside, but

Speaker 1 that's wild. That could.

Speaker 1 I mean, that must have ended okay, actually. Yeah.
And that guy probably stopped.

Speaker 1 Because if he didn't, if he didn't, if that guy just went flying, that would just be well known, I feel like, you know.

Speaker 3 Yeah, like he would have lost his legs already at his feet.

Speaker 1 That was pretty nice.

Speaker 1 That was nuts. That was a good one.
That was a good one. I'm awake now.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, I don't. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. Oh,

Speaker 1 holy shit.

Speaker 1 Do you get what happened there?

Speaker 3 Yes, she landed on her fucking ankle.

Speaker 1 No, no, but like...

Speaker 3 Her leg twisted because she went to box this thing. I don't like it.

Speaker 3 It's not funny.

Speaker 1 It's a freak out. That could be broken.
I don't know if it's broken or not. It's broken.
You think it's broken? It's broken. To imagine that from like what happened.
It's just the torque.

Speaker 1 The torque of doing it. She missed.
She didn't make contact. And then that just spun her around.
And she either broke it or severely sprained it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 she'll be all right. Horrible.
She'll be okay. Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's like at a kid's place, too. This is like fucking open air

Speaker 1 and horseshit.

Speaker 1 Uh-oh.

Speaker 3 The lights flickered on that one.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. I thought we were going to see someone disembowel.
That was cool. This is a new level.

Speaker 3 Dude, and he touched the stomach like, I just made that? Let's see him down.

Speaker 3 Fuck.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he just checked himself out.

Speaker 1 Are my intestines still inside? That was a lucky day, bro.

Speaker 3 Holy fuck. Dude, buy a lotto ticket.

Speaker 1 That's wow.

Speaker 3 He just saw his whole life flash before his eyes. Dude, that was like a fucking

Speaker 3 near-death experience.

Speaker 3 Can you imagine going through that?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'd have to take like the week off.

Speaker 1 Just sit in the room.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't be able to pick that thing up again.

Speaker 1 No, somebody else do this. New career.

Speaker 1 Fuck. That was incredible.

Speaker 3 That was gnarly. I thought he was going to slice himself in half for the first time.

Speaker 1 This is something about the world today, though, that I think about sometimes is that the only people that would handle something like that 20 plus years ago would be somebody like very highly trained in doing that.

Speaker 1 And in today's world, you can just be like, I want to band saw. And people are like, yeah, just fucking, there you go.
Yeah. And then you go, I got it.
And you go, Chat GPT. How do I do that?

Speaker 1 And then people just like look up. They go, I know how to do this.
And so you have a lot more occurrences, I think, of

Speaker 1 you know, tool accidents

Speaker 1 because people have access to them now. Right.
We didn't used to have access to everything.

Speaker 3 No, these are uninformed.

Speaker 1 Yeah. This guy doesn't know what the fuck he's doing.
No. There's no chance.
I thought he was going to spray. I thought there was shit spraying on the wall, but

Speaker 3 he's trying to slice tile, bro.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that with that thing. He doesn't know what he's doing.

Speaker 3 And he's light, too. He doesn't have enough weight on him to push that thing.

Speaker 1 oh shit

Speaker 1 dude fuck this

Speaker 3 fuck this

Speaker 3 I would never never catch me doing this I found the thing I don't like yeah

Speaker 1 what is this spool I don't like it spool rolling I don't like necks and backs breaking I don't like that

Speaker 3 that that was awful how does it start again I don't care and I'm not showing you come on no they're trying to roll in like the cable spool this is like at a fair

Speaker 3 that, dude.

Speaker 1 I love aftermath. No update.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Whew.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she could be. I think we just saw like three or four vertebrae just go.

Speaker 3 Please, just

Speaker 1 fine.

Speaker 3 Just let me see how they, what's the, what went wrong in the execute.

Speaker 1 Oh!

Speaker 1 And fun music.

Speaker 1 Hey, you want to see someone get paralyzed?

Speaker 3 For people just listening, she folded over on herself.

Speaker 3 Her front, her hands went on the floor, and then she fucking folded over on herself. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Inner, ninter, near, near.

Speaker 1 I'm so upset right now.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Fuck, I need something to

Speaker 3 that sucks, dude.

Speaker 1 All right. I want to be recognized by some of the hottest women here on Instagram.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 spread the word.

Speaker 1 You got it, Ryan. Hey, there it is right there.
That's what we need to do. Can you...
Everybody who watches knows at least a hottie, one or two hotties on Instagram.

Speaker 1 Why don't you let them know to acknowledge Ryan?

Speaker 3 Please, somebody.

Speaker 1 Give him a little acknowledgement.

Speaker 3 He wants to meet the hottest women. Are you the hottest women? Meet Ryan.

Speaker 1 Meet Ryan. He wants a big ass in his face.
Don't you like doing that stuff? Yeah, dude.

Speaker 3 Come on. Give Ryan some love.

Speaker 1 Meet him. Love him.

Speaker 1 Do it.

Speaker 1 Jesus. Christ.

Speaker 1 So upsetting.

Speaker 3 I know.

Speaker 1 I'm fucking so mad right now.

Speaker 3 About that video?

Speaker 1 Yes, I fucking hate it. I know.

Speaker 1 Ugh.

Speaker 3 No, it's not good.

Speaker 1 Look. When you read it,

Speaker 1 my mother for real is jury.

Speaker 1 Poor father fudderer is in burr.

Speaker 1 They trying to say you embarrass me and say she.

Speaker 1 I put jewelry on, man.

Speaker 1 Jewelry.

Speaker 3 Jewelry.

Speaker 1 What is the relationship of this father and son, you think?

Speaker 3 It's good.

Speaker 3 It's positive.

Speaker 1 I mean, the father had to go to like certain levels of acceptance, right?

Speaker 1 I mean. He's not like, oh, yeah, come meet Todd.
He's a regular kid.

Speaker 3 Okay, there's two scenarios. Dad was absent during Todd's childhood, or Todd just came out mentally ill.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he's just been used to it.

Speaker 3 He's just like over fucking Todd.

Speaker 3 God, this look is really outrageous. I do like the look, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I don't know. I'm going to go with Todd just came out messed up because dad's still a part of his life right now.

Speaker 1 So I think he's doing a character, maybe, too, right?

Speaker 1 This could be a character thing. In this day and age, where people just

Speaker 1 understand

Speaker 1 that, like, if you do something outrageous, you might get a following. Yeah.
Maybe he's not really like this 24-7. I mean, he did say father correctly, and then goes, I mean, father.

Speaker 1 Oh, right, right, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's, it's, I don't know. I wonder if the tats are.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm smart. Like, who the fuck? Look, all this art.
Oh, I'm

Speaker 1 on my face, though. You feel me? Like, real shit, though.
Like, you know what I'm saying? I'm my dad, bro. He love me.

Speaker 1 Y'all trying to break up families and shit. That's fucked up.
You know what I'm saying? Twin. Tap in.
I got motion. You feel me? I'm a murder.

Speaker 3 This is those two. Those twins started this, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 That look? That Florida shit.

Speaker 1 What were they, the island boys?

Speaker 3 Island boys. Yeah.
This is the island boy look.

Speaker 1 I mean, kind of.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And then they talk the same way.

Speaker 1 Are these kids' tats real, though? Doesn't something about them kind of read false to you? Yeah. They are real.

Speaker 3 They don't look real to me, but I'm not a tattoo expert.

Speaker 1 I mean, he's.

Speaker 1 These are fucking nuts, bro.

Speaker 3 Yeah, this guy's got mental problems.

Speaker 1 So what is it, like, pull up one of those? What's he talking about?

Speaker 1 Chains, I'ma do some

Speaker 1 retouch. Don't move my name, test on my body, mudi.

Speaker 1 Bruh, if y'all keep calling my lives saying, fake chains, I'ma do some.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Todd's Todd came out this way, baby.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he might have been wires across. No, I'm proud of you.
See?

Speaker 1 You, you, you, you, you, you, and you.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 See, that's that's a real voice. Tap in turn and got motion.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 No, nobody's born talking like that. Yeah.
Yeah, me see me.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, my papa. My papa.
You know what I'm saying? My father loves me, man.

Speaker 1 I do like

Speaker 3 I did. That's a chola girl.

Speaker 1 That chola girl, yeah. I want him to be ourselves with me.

Speaker 3 I'm about to get. No, she shouldn't.

Speaker 1 Oh, look, he's with his dad there. Let's see that.
His dad's so tired. Was I ever in

Speaker 1 detention in school? Yep.

Speaker 1 See, that's the reason why I look like that. I'm a murderer.
Too much time I've been there. You ain't never been in trouble in your life.
You ain't never done that. You went past the green light.

Speaker 1 You went red. I'll tell you this, though.
I'm a murderer.

Speaker 1 That dad has a... He dissociates, and he also is patient.
But every once in a while, he goes, cut the fucking shit, Wyatt.

Speaker 3 He's got to. Stop talking like that.

Speaker 1 He's got to. And then Wyatt goes, like, all right, dad, Jesus Christ.
You've got so mad.

Speaker 1 I just, can I borrow another five grand to get a chain?

Speaker 3 This is such a bad. I mean, and you can't even lock these foods up anymore.
Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You can't just give them to a mental hospital.
Be like, just lock Todd.

Speaker 3 I mean, this guy needs safety.

Speaker 1 First of all, he needs a following.

Speaker 1 You can't employ him anywhere. No, this guy's fucked.
What are you going to do?

Speaker 1 You can't do a job. He's done.

Speaker 3 No,

Speaker 3 you got to put these people in there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he could work in a warehouse, you know?

Speaker 3 Maybe, but he wants too much attention. Of course.
He can't.

Speaker 1 And everyone would be like, could you just fucking stack those boxes, please? Yeah.

Speaker 3 No, this kid has a lot of needs.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I would be so bummed if one of our

Speaker 1 luck.

Speaker 3 Grill.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 I hope he's making music. He's making music.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm sure it's. There you go.
It's probably really good.

Speaker 1 You never know. All right.
Let's wrap this shit up. We got things to do.

Speaker 3 Shit.

Speaker 1 Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening.
We will see you next week.

Speaker 3 Bye, mommy. Bye.

Speaker 3 I'm looking for a bite girl with a fat ass. I'm looking for a a bike girl or the fat ass.
I'm looking for a bike girl with a fat ass.

Speaker 3 And they know how to work it.

Speaker 3 I'm looking for a bike girl or a fat ass. I'm looking for a bike girl or a fat ass.
I'm looking for a bike girl with a fat ass. Serious funds only.

Speaker 3 I'm looking for a biker with a fat ass. I'm looking for a biker or a fat ass.
I'm looking for a bike girl or the fat ass.

Speaker 3 And they know how to work it.

Speaker 3 I'm looking for a a biker or the fat ass. I'm looking for a biker or the fat ass.
I'm looking for a biker or the fat ass. Serious for pawns only.

Speaker 3 I'm looking for a biker or the fat ass. I'm looking for a biker or a fat ass.
I'm looking for a biker with a fat ass.

Speaker 3 And they know how to work it.

Speaker 3 I'm looking for a biker or a fat ass.

Speaker 3 I'm looking for a biker or the fat ass. Serious for

Speaker 3 I'm looking for a bike girl or a fat ass.

Speaker 3 I'm looking for a bike girl or a fat ass.

Speaker 3 They know how to work, game.

Speaker 1 As a raider scavenging a derelict world, you settle into an underground settlement.

Speaker 1 But now you must return to the surface.

Speaker 1 Where arc machines roam.

Speaker 1 If you're brave enough, who knows what you might find. Arc Raiders, a multiplayer extraction adventure video game.
Buy now for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X and S, and PC. Rated T for team.