Come Get Fat With Tom Segura | Your Mom's House Ep. 837

Speaker 1 Hey everyone, I have some exciting shows coming up on Saturday, November 29th. I will be in Tacoma, Washington at the Emerald Queen Casino.

Speaker 1 After that, I'll be in Oakland, California at the Paramount Theater on November 30th. Tickets and all info is at tomsegrow.com slash tour.

Speaker 1 Welcome.

Speaker 1 Welcome to your mom's house.

Speaker 2 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 3 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 2 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep coming.

Speaker 3 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Ciao.

Speaker 1 Comestay,

Speaker 1 Oh, welcome to another mama so

Speaker 1 I love your shirt. Thanks.
I am very excited. Some of you know that I've been a long time super fan of croissants.

Speaker 4 Oh, you said that so nicely.

Speaker 1 And I try them in any city where people go, You gotta try them. But my all-time favorites were at a place called Cinque West in Los Angeles.

Speaker 1 I used to go there and I would buy a pizza box worth of croissants. You did.
And then I would walk around and I would give people free ones on my walks. Yes.
I was like, you want one? You want one?

Speaker 1 True story. And I would only bring home the remaining 42.

Speaker 1 Anyway, I was such a big fan of that place. I still am.
And

Speaker 1 I befriended the owners.

Speaker 1 And then...

Speaker 1 About a year and a half ago, we started talking about opening a place here in Austin.

Speaker 1 And so we broke broke ground and that place is under construction it should be open sometime after the new year but in the meantime we have a pop-up location and it's at the fairgrounds downtown underneath the Wells Fargo building that's on the corner I think 2nd and Brazos on this side and then Congress is on the other side yeah so anyway I stopped by today I picked up some pastries and brought them in.

Speaker 1 But if you're listening to this show, the day that it comes out or anytime after, that pop-up is open. Oh, we're open for business.

Speaker 1 So if you want to make your way to downtown ATX and go to the fairgrounds, like I said, the Wells Fargo building, you can hit up our pop-up location and it's really, really good.

Speaker 4 Your croissants, all the pastries that I've tried are outrageous. I can't believe your love of the croissant was such that you brought this guy here from L.A.
Yes.

Speaker 1 He's from Italy. Yes.
And then he's lived in L.A. for many years, and he had a place there.
But this place that we're opening here, I'm telling you, like,

Speaker 1 I was just there and they had just baked

Speaker 1 plain chocolate. And then they had the pastries with blueberries,

Speaker 4 pears.

Speaker 1 Fuck. They had a raisin one.
They had a paca. And they had homemade focaccia with onions.

Speaker 4 Unreal.

Speaker 1 Home with tomato. And then he did pizza with prosciutto and another one with burrata.

Speaker 4 You kind of like the way you look. And it's, it's real Italians.
It's from Italy.

Speaker 1 They're from Italy.

Speaker 4 So if you guys have never been to Italy, this is a taste.

Speaker 1 Dante, Luciano.

Speaker 1 They're off the fucking boat, man. They're sitting there spitting their Italian to each other.

Speaker 4 Well, what's the place called? I don't know if you said the name. Did you say that?

Speaker 1 Chicho Bomba.

Speaker 4 Chichiubombo. But how do you spell that?

Speaker 1 For the C-I-C-C-I-O Bomba, B-O-M-B-A.

Speaker 1 And it means little fat ass, little, that's what you call a little fat ass kid in Italy.

Speaker 4 A gordito.

Speaker 1 A little gordito, you call him chicho, bomb ba. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's about to explode. Yeah.
You're about to explode. You little fat ass.
That's really cute.

Speaker 4 That's such a sweet little thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's really cool.

Speaker 4 It's so authentic, too, which is what's so special because the pastries you eat here in the U.S. Sometimes are just dog shit.
They are. Compared to European

Speaker 1 stuff, I do really watch what I eat these days. Yeah.
But if I'm going to indulge, I want it to be worth it. Yeah, dog.
Sometimes you go, oh, I'm just going to eat this dog shit pastry.

Speaker 1 And then you have the calories without the taste. You're like, I just wasted this.
That's so angry. So, what I'm going to say to you guys is: if you want to get fat,

Speaker 1 get fat with me. That's right.
Come to my fat place.

Speaker 4 Get fat with Tom Segura. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Chicho Bamba. We're going to show this footage in about six months and be like, wow, Tom, you put on 45 pounds.
Of course.

Speaker 1 I opened a bakery

Speaker 1 and no pair fit into my shirts no more.

Speaker 4 Yeah. You don't see the danger.

Speaker 1 Oh. It's like.

Speaker 1 Even there, they were like,

Speaker 1 you look skinny today.

Speaker 4 Maybe not in a few months.

Speaker 1 No way, yeah, I know.

Speaker 4 Oh, that's so exciting, Gene. I cannot fucking wait.

Speaker 1 I can't wait, and we have a coffee, of course, espareso, cappuccino.

Speaker 1 You have what you want, you have it's your life, you live your life, you eat what you want.

Speaker 4 You live your life.

Speaker 4 Speaking of cappuccino, I'm drinking this coffee here. And watch this.
This is my new lipstick. I'm wearing the liquid lipstick evermore.

Speaker 1 And not turn.

Speaker 4 Oh, look at that. Not a goddamn bit of lipstick on this cup.
That's how strong this liquid lipstick is. It will stay the F.
There you go. Own.
So this is the first shade, nocturne.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, there's nothing on the cup.

Speaker 1 Tutto cheque, etaliano e miore.

Speaker 4 Christinap.com for all my lipsticks are available and my blush, which is to die for. You're going to like the way you look.

Speaker 1 Buy it now for the holidays so that you don't forget. Heard it here.
Stroke that thing in four strokes. All right.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God. I forgot the four strokes.

Speaker 1 Oh, we can revisit it at some point.

Speaker 1 He came in four.

Speaker 4 His penis. Wait, his dick had become so sensitive.
That's what he said, right? Yeah. His dick had become so sensitive.

Speaker 1 Oh, my bad.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 I'm just fucked this up, man. I don't know how to stop it.

Speaker 1 Chaos.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 1 My bad. It's fine.

Speaker 1 Welcome to your mom's house.

Speaker 1 That's good water.

Speaker 1 Meow, meow, meow, meow.

Speaker 1 Your mom is

Speaker 1 a whore. She likes dicks.

Speaker 4 Ticks, your mother.

Speaker 1 I realized I was looking for the for this for you

Speaker 4 and I hit the wrong button and dick had become so sensitive I have forgotten all about him he was the man but I can I tell you with these cool guys like I go full circle like I go through repulsion yep I go through anger I go through depression sadness and

Speaker 1 the stages of cool

Speaker 1 yeah those are the stages of being cool

Speaker 4 yeah but now I'm in it full acceptance of him. Yeah.
And I'm ready to revisit if you are anytime soon. What's going on? You're getting a text from him or something?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I just got an important text.
Don't worry about it. Who's it from? It's um.

Speaker 5 I can't believe how big his dick was.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's from him.

Speaker 4 That was his brother.

Speaker 1 His brother. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 I know he was jacking off with his brother.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, because they smoked meth. And then, yeah.
And then he's like, I can come so fast. And you don't need Viagra, you don't need Cialis.

Speaker 4 You don't need Lube. You don't need Spiet.
No.

Speaker 1 I'll let anybody blow me. That was another

Speaker 1 fun detail that he gave. Like, I like blowjobs, but I don't even care who it is.
I'll come fast.

Speaker 1 I'm a meth.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 But see, that's cool. Like, now I see the coolness in that.
Yeah. Before I was repulsed and now I'm accepted.

Speaker 1 That's wild from you because you really never liked it before. No.

Speaker 4 I'm changed. Forever changed.

Speaker 1 That's so cool. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let me see if I can

Speaker 1 find my guy here. Where is he? Oh, here he is.
God. Yeah.
Yep. There he is.

Speaker 5 If you've had any kind of erectile disorder problems, I'm here to tell you: forget about Viagra, forget about salads, forget about dick and plants and all that stuff. Yeah.

Speaker 5 So I don't know if you believe me or not. I don't.
But if you like to see me smoke some meth with a small limp dick,

Speaker 5 get hard any other way and watch it get harder and harder. The more I smoke, the harder my dick gets.

Speaker 1 It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable.

Speaker 4 Hold on, pause for one second. Oh, yeah.
Did he say it doesn't get harder any other way?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it doesn't get hard any other way.

Speaker 4 Well, this completely, this is like when you see something and then you see a new layer to the painting.

Speaker 1 Like a Kubrick film. Yeah.
You go back and you're like, oh, wow.

Speaker 4 I didn't realize he had erectile problems.

Speaker 1 He does, yeah. He found the solution.

Speaker 4 But he has no neuropathy issues.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's, well, that's your, you know, you're kind of giving away one of the big points coming up. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Become so sensitive that you don't need lube, you don't need spit.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 You just stroke that dickhead this up and down. Just the head.

Speaker 5 Barely do it.

Speaker 1 Just stroke the head. You can produce an enormous amount of very thick column.
It's thick.

Speaker 5 Thick, hot, white colour. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, I like it thick. It's white.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We didn't think it would be green, but yeah.

Speaker 4 But it's thick. And I think that's the crucial point with meth because you're very dehydrated when you smoke a lot of meth.
Are you? Amphetamine. Yeah, it makes you thirsty as shit.

Speaker 1 How do you know that?

Speaker 4 Because I have family members that have done a lot of meth. Swear to God.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, pretty parsley.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 But when he smoked with me, he put out his dick. I couldn't believe how big his dick was.
He jacked off in four strokes. Yeah.
He shot the most cum he'd ever shot in his life.

Speaker 1 Did he say that?

Speaker 5 49. And he's fine.

Speaker 1 He has no neuropathy problems. He's fine.

Speaker 5 But his dick gets even harder and thicker and even more cum. He believes me now.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I think one of the things you're getting from there is that he has neuropathy issues.
Correct. That's why he's making the qualification.
He doesn't have any.

Speaker 1 You know, my brother doesn't have neuropathy issues.

Speaker 4 Therefore, I do.

Speaker 4 You know what that is? deductive reasoning yeah and and you said therefore i have it and that's what why he chose meth to help him get hard-ons yeah

Speaker 1 it's amazing that this show has been out this long and this clip and no one has been like oh ted you know like no one's ever hit us up about him because i do not believe that he is still with us on this earth that's my guess but yeah does anybody know who this man is i mean we've asked for years i'd be very surprised if somebody

Speaker 4 oh this and the benadryl guy He's dead.

Speaker 1 It's confirmed. Yeah, he's dead.
He died a few years ago. Benadryl? Yeah.
Yeah, he's dead. Very dead.

Speaker 4 I feel like I didn't even get a chance to mourn.

Speaker 1 No, is he up here? Where is he? Used to have a thing, I thought. Oh, there.

Speaker 1 He used to have a thing. Oh, there's four strokes.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, kind of looks like any. Where's any today?

Speaker 4 Sick.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's sick. Oh, hmm.

Speaker 1 Well, here's the clip I was going to play for you. Would you like to see it? Here you go.

Speaker 4 Can you tell me what category of fat I fit in?

Speaker 6 So it's based on your shirt size. So if you are a 1 or 2x, you are small fat.
3 to 4x, you are mid-fat. 5 to 6x, you are super fat.
Is based on what level of privilege you have in the world.

Speaker 4 Oh, that's based on privilege. Yeah, which is the case.
It correlates to.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, she further explains.

Speaker 6 Sure. So someone in a small fat category may not struggle getting on an airplane.
But someone in a mid-fat or super fat may not be able to use even the airplane extender.

Speaker 6 So that's where that comes in and like the privilege levels of like what fat means to different people.

Speaker 1 That's pretty cool. I didn't know that.

Speaker 1 I've definitely been small fat. I think I've been mid-fat too.

Speaker 1 So I've had different levels of privilege.

Speaker 4 You've had to use the you couldn't use the

Speaker 1 seat. I've never had a seatbelt extender, but I'm saying she said based on her shirt size thing, because I was definitely XL double X.
I think I was a 3X a couple times too.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 1 now I'm I'm fully privileged. Yeah.
I'm just L.

Speaker 4 Privilege. I don't know if the, I think what she's trying to say is like levels of living you can do.
Because privilege to me sounds like it's unwarranted.

Speaker 4 Like, doesn't that connotate like just because of your birth, you're born a white blonde lady? Can I tell you something?

Speaker 1 Yeah. You sound like a real bitch right now.

Speaker 4 I sound like I'm full of privilege. Yeah, you do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know.

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Speaker 1 Well, she's saying that like if you're a four, five, six X,

Speaker 1 you don't have the privilege that people who are not that size have, right?

Speaker 4 The opposite is true, then. Like, there is privilege to being.

Speaker 1 No, there's privilege to not being

Speaker 1 five and six X. Oh, I know.
You're a fucking asshole who has privilege. Because you're not a 6X.

Speaker 4 My invisible knapsack of privilege that I carry around with me. Yeah.
That's one of them. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 You can fucking walk up these stairs. That must be nice.

Speaker 1 You can fit in a booth. Real, real cool.

Speaker 4 But I do think

Speaker 4 if you're heavy, there's a certain way you should dress.

Speaker 1 That's not it. That's not it.
That's not it.

Speaker 4 And the hair is not it. Like, if you're gonna be, if you're gonna be noticeable because of your size, I would try to like make my style less volume.
By the way. Volume, you know?

Speaker 1 She's close to not being fat. She's not that big.
Yeah, I don't think she's big. No, she's not.
I wouldn't say she's big. By her own

Speaker 1 privilege?

Speaker 1 Well, by her own list, I think she's small fat. She's small fat.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So she's got all the privilege. You better hand over the reins to some super fat because you're not going to be there much longer.

Speaker 4 Is anybody there super fat?

Speaker 1 I don't think they had a super fat. I mean, I was just looking at the room.

Speaker 1 Let's see.

Speaker 1 Well, in the previous one, we saw the one who was asking.

Speaker 4 Can you tell me what category of fat I fit in?

Speaker 4 So she's small fat?

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah, probably 2x, something like that, I think.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's not that big. I mean, look, look, it's so easy to be fat.
It's like

Speaker 1 it's, God, it happens so fast. Well, that guy on the left isn't fat at all.
He's probably like, haha, you guys are fat. I'm not.
He's like, oh, I'm checking my privilege.

Speaker 1 And that guy there, he's probably an XL or maybe.

Speaker 4 I definitely think that Crocs are a bad shoe on your fat. Those types of items accentuate your heaviness.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I think they're comfortable.

Speaker 4 Exactly. So when you're fat, you shouldn't dress comfortably.
You should be less comfortably dressed.

Speaker 1 Because you're because you'll look shittier.

Speaker 4 Here's, let me say this. Interesting.
I was at the track meet with the kid the other day. Yeah.
And there were people wearing sweatshirts.

Speaker 4 Universally, sweatshirts look like shit. Yeah.
No matter if you're thin, young, old, you look like a fucking garbage bag

Speaker 1 in sweats. As Karlographa would say, someone who has given up on it.

Speaker 4 You've given up on life. So you'll already look like you've given up.
Don't I'm sorry, you've already given up.

Speaker 7 Don't look like you've given up.

Speaker 1 Oh, right.

Speaker 4 Try to reverse the trend. That's interesting.
It's so easy to get fat. It's so fucking easy.

Speaker 4 It really is, man. God damn it.

Speaker 1 Every day is a battle to not be fatter. Every day.

Speaker 1 Every fucking day.

Speaker 4 It's so hard.

Speaker 1 I woke up today and just was like yogurt, protein, fruit,

Speaker 1 some

Speaker 1 white fucking like oatmeal bullshit, and then honey. And then I worked out.
And then I came home and I ate eggs and berries. Yeah.
It's all just like, don't be fat. Don't be fat.
Don't be fat.

Speaker 1 Eat this food and don't be fat.

Speaker 4 Live longer.

Speaker 1 And then I open a fucking bakery to get fat as fuck.

Speaker 1 I'm going to be so fat.

Speaker 4 So fat. We just can't go there, Gene.
No. Mommy, we cannot go there.

Speaker 1 Tom Bamba Bakery. Trishabomba.
Tishabumba.

Speaker 1 I'm Tom Sugar and I'm plus size fat.

Speaker 1 Come change your bomb. I used to be regular size and now I'm a 6x.
I'm super fat.

Speaker 1 You want to have a cornetti with me?

Speaker 1 They're so good, too. I did sample bites, and I was like, I gotta get out of here.

Speaker 4 Of course, it's disgusting. Can I tell you to these French, where they say, oh, the French women, they have croissants every morning with their cappuccino.

Speaker 4 Bullshit, these bitches have two little, two little bites, the morsel, and I'm so fooled.

Speaker 1 That's kind of the key.

Speaker 4 That's how you do it.

Speaker 1 That's what you discover. Guess what? You're not going to get fat if you have a couple bites.
Two bites. You're going to get fat if you have four whole things.
Yeah, dog.

Speaker 4 And if you're middle-aged, just smelling it

Speaker 1 you're destroying i know you can't even you just can't i could see my future when i was there today oh yeah and they're like this is yours you're the owner eat what you want

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 i should go

Speaker 4 that's how i feel if i owned a bar yeah

Speaker 4 that's lights out like a wine bar like a dark moody wine bar that i i owned oh

Speaker 4 alcoholic drink the place out of business every day and then i gotta order some hummus with that or whatever. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And you have diarrhea.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 It's top us.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I would just order pizzas and shit. And god damn it.
It just, you just can't have fun anymore. The fun is over.
When you're 50, the fun ends.

Speaker 1 The fun in when you get older is telling people how it is. That's what's that's the new fun is that you get to tell people how it is.
Like this guy.

Speaker 7 And kids with autism are not my fucking problem. You take care of your fucking problem.
I gotta manage mine. There's your fucking autism help.

Speaker 7 Take care of your own fucking losers.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay?

Speaker 7 I already have a tough enough time handling my own shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, first of all.

Speaker 7 Take your little fucking autistic kids. Go fuck yourself.
Figure out your own fucking problems. You had that kid, not me.
You raised that kid, not me.

Speaker 7 Nobody's responsible for raising that kid but you.

Speaker 7 Take your autism, shove it up your ass.

Speaker 1 So it's just a cool, kind of well-balanced

Speaker 1 member of society.

Speaker 4 He's in a limo. What is he in? Some kind of car? I I don't know.
He's on his brake. He lit it.
He backlit it.

Speaker 1 How do you get that fired up about an autistic kid?

Speaker 4 I mean, he's going to be bummed when, like, it's the autistic doctor that's saving his life on an operating table because, lo and behold, a lot of those autistics are pretty fucking smart.

Speaker 1 You think the guy's about to save his life and then he just takes his phone and he goes, do you remember this?

Speaker 1 I'm going to let you die now.

Speaker 1 Fuck you.

Speaker 4 Don't, I wouldn't put down autistics. They're highly intelligent.
They're in so many facets of society.

Speaker 1 this is a fucking this is one of the wilder rants that i've seen yeah your kids

Speaker 1 i don't know man man this is a dark one

Speaker 1 i don't know he's really really angry he must post like this all the time you know what can i okay here's what it is

Speaker 4 he's the kind of guy that's like

Speaker 4 oh this new tax thing came out we're our money our tax money is going to help autistic kids in in rochester county or whatever and he's pissed because his tax money is going there i found some stupid shit like like that.

Speaker 4 Proposition five.

Speaker 1 They go out to the council meetings. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And they wait and look at this asshole.

Speaker 1 And then they walk up and they go, fuck your kids. They're like, thank you for voicing your concerns, sir.
That's it.

Speaker 4 He's mad about some shit that doesn't apply to him.

Speaker 4 Nothing to do with him.

Speaker 1 Guy's angry, man.

Speaker 4 Could you imagine, though, displacing your anger that hot? Actually, I can. I'm pretty irrational.

Speaker 1 And the thing is,

Speaker 1 when you post it on social media, you really are just like, you're just yelling. He's just yelling at his phone.
Yeah. And then, you know, you upload it and you're like, oh, that feels better.
Dude.

Speaker 1 But I mean, you're not. All you're doing is making sure everyone knows that you're an asshole, right? That's what he did.

Speaker 4 But do you, do you, is he looking at the comments and then hoping to start a fight?

Speaker 1 Maybe. I don't know.
This guy seems like he's real. Like, this, this is probably what fuels him.
Yeah. Is saying crazy shit like this.

Speaker 4 The autistic kids.

Speaker 1 You want to see someone who's also kind of off a little bit?

Speaker 4 No lipstick on the cup. Still, brew.

Speaker 1 Pretty crazy. Check this out.
This is insanity. What do you think you lost lifetime gambling,

Speaker 1 including that 30 million?

Speaker 4 350? 300?

Speaker 1 He's drooling.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, I know. How does he have that much money? I don't know.

Speaker 1 But look at it. He also seems like he's like...

Speaker 1 Touched. Yeah, he's touched.
If he were a kid, the other guy would be yelling at him.

Speaker 4 I was going to say that.

Speaker 4 But you did, so that I didn't have to.

Speaker 1 $350 million.

Speaker 7 The bulk of that...

Speaker 1 Probably to the Caesars Corporation. Yes.
The Caesars Corporation. Wipe your mouth.

Speaker 4 You know.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 He's just drooling thinking about that.

Speaker 5 And you were living here at the time, or you're still kind of living in a suite.

Speaker 1 Living in a suite. 2007.
On property.

Speaker 7 Matter of fact, in 2007, Caesars Corporation,

Speaker 1 5.6% of its entire gambling revenue came from you alone. Yes.
5.6%. Of their entire money came from Terry Wantanabe.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 So what is he? Just like a Japanese inheritance.

Speaker 1 Terry Wantanabe, yeah, he is an inheritance guy.

Speaker 1 Came between 2007 and 8 at Caesars Palace and the Rio in Vegas. He was the billionaire so lost in Vegas that casinos allegedly kept him wired on booze, painkillers, and cocaine.

Speaker 1 Betting $200,000 a hand, once offering $50,000 to open In-N-Out at 3 a.m. just to feed his entourage after an all-night gambling binge.

Speaker 1 After selling his family's company, Oriental Trading, his word, not mine, Wantanabe became an ultra-high stakes gambler.

Speaker 1 He reportedly gambled almost every day, betting millions of dollars per session on blackjack and other casino games.

Speaker 1 Casinos extended him enormous credit lines, sometimes tens of millions, and treated him lavishly with private suites, staff, and luxury perks to keep him gambling.

Speaker 1 His spiral was fueled by a combination of addiction, depression, and the casinos' encouragement.

Speaker 1 He was known to drink heavily while gambling and later alleged that casinos kept serving him alcohol, allowing him to gamble when even visibly impaired.

Speaker 1 He ultimately lost over 200 million, one of the largest individual losses in history. Caesars sued him over unpaid debts.
He counter-sued, claiming the casino exploited his addiction.

Speaker 1 The case was settled privately. Since then, his story has become a cautionary tale about casino practices and gambling addiction among the ultra-wealthy.

Speaker 4 So just to get this straight, he cashed out the Oriental Trading Company, which was a huge.

Speaker 1 It was his family's, and they were like, you now get this. And he was like, fuck this bullshit i'm going to vegas

Speaker 4 i'm gonna go fuck everything up god yeah and he doesn't have a terminal illness or anything he's just an asshole with

Speaker 1 like all of us yeah like fuck this he's an addict he's a hardcore addict he's still drooling so he's maybe hasn't resolved it yet i mean maybe he's on pain pills right now

Speaker 1 can you really blame the casino though i'm curious to see what the lawsuit i don't think you can blame him i mean i do think they probably were like this is wild we We got to, you know, give him another fucking tequila.

Speaker 1 This guy is worse. They were loving it.

Speaker 4 But that's what they do to everybody. Yeah.
He's not special.

Speaker 1 No, and then nobody could get him away from there because they were having a good time. Like if

Speaker 1 your friend is the guy doing that, you're just hanging out. You're like, do it again.
Bet another 200 grand. You'll get it back.

Speaker 4 God, that's the problem with being rich. Nobody tells you no.

Speaker 1 No one says no.

Speaker 4 Nobody's saying no.

Speaker 1 And that's like mega rich. I mean, that's, you know, 200 grand a hand?

Speaker 4 That's so nihilistic.

Speaker 1 So you go through the shoe and you're like, whatever, I lost 4 million. Let's just do it again.
It's like fucking crazy. It's crazy.

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I don't enjoy gambling, so I don't get this form of addiction.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I kind of get it, but I've never had the real, like, I've never had the urge to really go hard.
You know,

Speaker 1 I've done like a few hundred bucks. I think I've bet a thousand dollars on something, but that to me was like, I mean, heart palpitation.
I don't like it.

Speaker 4 I don't like how it feels to lose hard-earned money. It hurts.
It sucks. Like, it doesn't, because you, guess what, guys? The house,

Speaker 1 the saying is like the the customer always wins right right that's how it goes if you're if you're into gambling the expression is you'll you're definitely not going to lose

Speaker 1 that's how they say winners win so like you know i remember too how i i can remember like it was yesterday i went to i was in vegas i was doing a gig and before the gig we went to the one of the rooms to gamble.

Speaker 1 We were playing blackjack. And I was winning and betting, you know, a few hundred dollars a hand and I won won $7,500.

Speaker 1 And I was riding such a high. Like, I went to the show, and I was like, da, da, da.
And we got back, and I was like, let's go back in there.

Speaker 1 And people were trying to tell me, they're like, don't, you, you won. I was like, nah, man,

Speaker 1 let's go back. And I lost what I'd won.
I lost the 7,500 within minutes. And then I went to my room and I stared at the ceiling

Speaker 1 for an hour. And I felt so empty and depressed.
And that was for $7,500 that I'd won two hours earlier. Yeah.
And it just, it killed me. I hated it.
I hated the feeling. It was so depressing.

Speaker 1 I can't imagine. I know.
See, if you're talking about tens of thousands or millions of dollars, like I don't, I can't imagine what you do.

Speaker 4 But I'm wondering, because his reaction,

Speaker 4 he's drooling and he doesn't seem to be.

Speaker 4 He doesn't seem to have that level of self-reflection. Yeah.

Speaker 4 200 million, 300 million. And he's like, I would do it again if I could sell another company.

Speaker 1 Yeah, of course he's a hard party. He would do it again.

Speaker 4 See, there's no sense of remorse.

Speaker 1 So he just doesn't have any more. But he was like, you don't have any more money.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Okay.
I go back now. I go home.
Poor guy.

Speaker 4 He's really in his suffering. He really hates himself.

Speaker 1 I want to say that I feel like

Speaker 1 fats might feel attacked, you know, by the house. And I just want them to know that you can still find love.

Speaker 4 You can. And you can lift me up while we in this war.

Speaker 1 You see.

Speaker 3 Trying to be Hercules for me.

Speaker 1 Hercules, Hercules.

Speaker 4 My boyfriend Wendell and I have been together for six years. He slid in my DMs a couple times and I ignored him.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 4 once he wrote me and said, Hey, could I take you out to dinner? I was like, Oh, well, you should have started with that, sir.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 4 Ain't this how it went?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got it right. So far.

Speaker 4 I was so far.

Speaker 4 God bless black men. They love fatsos.

Speaker 4 Otherwise, this woman would not have love in her life.

Speaker 1 Well, we saw a couple one time, and that was a white guy.

Speaker 4 Oh, right. A white guy with a white

Speaker 1 lady hair.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 There was a very rare. That was something else.

Speaker 1 A Google Whale was beached, and this guy, she was like, ah, Harold.

Speaker 1 And he needed assist. They had a crane that came out and then helped her up.
It was wild.

Speaker 4 But Gene,

Speaker 4 Gene, tell the listeners how long ago that was. That's before we had kids, babe.
We saw that come.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was over 10 years ago. Yeah.

Speaker 4 That's how much that stuck in our memory. So that's an anomaly, babe.

Speaker 4 He was fit.

Speaker 1 He wasn't fit. He was just a thin guy.

Speaker 4 Okay, so he was thin, but the wife was shamoo.

Speaker 1 He was middle-aged. And she was...
Yeah, it was like a manatee that had just kind of swam up on the shore. And she was stuck.
She was stuck in the shoreline. She was like,

Speaker 1 and then he was like,

Speaker 1 and she was like, get me up.

Speaker 4 But I remember that she had to go with the waves

Speaker 4 and then use the momentum

Speaker 4 to get her out. And you and I were like, what the fuck is happening?

Speaker 1 I feel like that's some sort of kink, though, right? I mean, I think the guy that is with that size isn't just like, oh, I find that attractive. They like the feeling of.
of the need for them.

Speaker 1 The caretaking is part of what you get off on because you're like, this person can't do everything by themselves. Like,

Speaker 1 stand up from the ground.

Speaker 4 Or, you know what? Now that I'm thinking about it,

Speaker 4 we were in a, we were in, was that Turks and Caicos

Speaker 1 somewhere? Yeah, I was on a cruise or something.

Speaker 4 Yeah, your parents took us on a cruise after we gotten married, right?

Speaker 1 Was that the one? I don't remember.

Speaker 4 And so we were, it was a fancy island. Like, you needed some scratch to go to this island.
This isn't like Margaritaville and, you know, Jacksonville, Florida. This is a real place.

Speaker 4 Maybe she had money.

Speaker 4 Because I do recall

Speaker 4 a weight kink. There was one other lady.

Speaker 4 We saw that dynamic in a different place, too, one time. And I was like, oh, she's got to have money.

Speaker 1 She's got to be an heiress. But maybe that's not so much money as that that's what he gets.
It makes his dick hard. Yeah.
It's dopamine. He's just like,

Speaker 4 she needs me. I wish you had that.
Like, so I could just let it go.

Speaker 4 You could just take care of me.

Speaker 1 That's not coming. So don't even worry about it.

Speaker 4 I know it.

Speaker 1 Oh, I love them.

Speaker 1 drum this little. Oh.

Speaker 4 Would you do that for me?

Speaker 1 Oh, no, it's just something about bigger women, like heavyset women that I like. Yeah.
I like to play with

Speaker 1 the arms. If I like to grab up on the, you know, play with a belly and roll the stuff.
You know what I'm saying? Like, I like

Speaker 1 it.

Speaker 4 I feel like, okay.

Speaker 4 This a whole lot. So if I get something else that's a whole lot, that's going to be hot.
But he is the smallest I have ever dated.

Speaker 1 ever

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's super skinny. Yeah, he's I'm guessing he's probably around

Speaker 1 Maybe 140 pounds or something

Speaker 1 and then I would say that she's probably like

Speaker 1 probably like getting close to 500, you know oh wow, yeah Yeah, she's probably like around 500 cuz he's like he's like runner skinny. Yeah, he's a real skinny dude.
He's a real skinny dude.

Speaker 4 That's really cool. I'd like to see that.

Speaker 4 I'm sure there's porn for for this. I just don't

Speaker 1 want to watch it.

Speaker 4 Of course. Can we look it up? Just curiosity.

Speaker 4 I just want to see what it looks like for like a skinny guy to have sex with a really big lady. How do you even do it?

Speaker 4 Because they have to do it. Think about it.
She can't. If she's on her back, she has to hold her stomach up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's hot.

Speaker 4 Thanks. And then if she's...

Speaker 1 She can't get on top.

Speaker 4 She probably can't get into doggy because remember when I was super pregnant and we tried, it was so, so fat, I couldn't really do it.

Speaker 1 I mean, she has to lay on her side, I guess, or lay on her back. If she's that big, and whoever's that big has to.
Yeah. What happens if it's two super fatties then?

Speaker 4 That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 Because a real big guy can't mount you if he's that big.

Speaker 4 No, because I know somebody that was married to a great big, fat person. Yeah.
And she was normal sized. Yeah.
And she said they had to do it a certain way like that, too.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. I'm going to throw up.

Speaker 1 Did you find something? You throw out your rookie? Yeah. Where'd you throw that roogie? Because it's making me feel sick talking about this.

Speaker 4 Did you put it on the floor like you do in our house?

Speaker 1 No, I put it in the trash can. No, I find those rugies

Speaker 1 everywhere.

Speaker 4 Not just masturbation.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. There we go.

Speaker 4 There's a doggy style. But she doesn't seem super fatty.

Speaker 1 I'm not sure. Yeah, but she's pretty big.
But that's the idea. She has to lay on her side.

Speaker 4 These are privileged fats. I want the non-privileged.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you want a super fat. Super fat.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 No, I don't buy this. Doggy style.
With her, she can't get on all fours.

Speaker 1 Yeah. These are not, they're not super fatties.

Speaker 4 I want real fats, Niana. Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 You need a boy to help you look.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Girls are not.
You know what? We're good. You can take that down.
Thanks very much. Appreciate it.

Speaker 4 Guys, know where to find this stuff? Lickety split.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Get Cougar to look.

Speaker 1 Or whoever's in there. You know who else is fat? No.
Any pet we ever get.

Speaker 4 Stop.

Speaker 1 It started with my family of origin i know rocket my parents every time they had multiple dogs all my life and every time we went to the vet they'd be like hey so this dog's really sick and we're like sick and they're like well it's super fat it's gonna die if you what are you feeding it do you feed it just like bacon

Speaker 1 and my parents would be like oh um ah we're like did like do you walk your dog That was my favorite. And they'd be like, yeah, you know, we let him out.
I'm like, no, do you walk him? They're like,

Speaker 1 we've, we've, we've, yeah, we've been meaning to. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're like, Hey, you're not a good dog owner. And then they would get super offended.
Oh, mad. Be like, what? We love these dogs.
You're like, no, not just the feeling you have.

Speaker 1 What do you do for the dog?

Speaker 4 Nothing. Nothing.
So Rocket was a beagle, which beagles are supposed to be really thin because they're not like greatly built dogs. They have to stay thin.
But yours was morbidly obese.

Speaker 1 Yeah, his stomach, when he sat on his hind legs, his stomach would hang to the side and on the ground.

Speaker 1 For rockets. And they were like, oh my God.
I remember the vet being like, this is wildly obese dog.

Speaker 4 And then I remember one time you went with your mom to the vet and they're like, he's wildly obese. And then you go, should we put him down?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. In front of him.

Speaker 4 She got so mad. So mad.
Tommy.

Speaker 1 No, Tommy. What? And I'm like, boy, he's dying.
He's dying because he's under your care. And then

Speaker 1 we got Bitsy.

Speaker 4 Well, hold on, backing up to Rocket. So Rocket was also, in your family's defense, a shitty dog.
Meaning that fucker was licking dinner plates.

Speaker 4 Like your mother would clean off the dinner plates, put them in the dishwasher, and he'd be like, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, licking those.

Speaker 4 And then he was one of those dogs that would get up on his hind legs and eat anything that was on the counter.

Speaker 1 No, and they didn't train, they've never trained a dog. So their dogs, all the dogs always misbehave.
And you're like, this is horrible. And then she would say like, oh, you don't like dogs?

Speaker 1 Like, no, no, no. You're supposed to train your dog.
Like, you can train behavior. Dogs are trainable.
You can train to do that. You can train them to not all be chaotic at all hours jumping on.

Speaker 1 Like you can train them if you actually spend time doing that. And they were like, what? So the dogs were always just like.
It was always chaos.

Speaker 4 Feral. And then they're constantly barking anytime someone rang the door.

Speaker 1 A phone rings or a fucking, yeah, a wind chime blow.

Speaker 1 The dogs would just go in case.

Speaker 4 But then the dogs bark, and then your mother and your sister and everybody would go, shut up.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Shut the fuck up. Yeah.
And you're like, that's not how to train a dog.

Speaker 4 So it's a cacophony of like, ding, dong,

Speaker 1 shut the fuck up. And then here's a steak.
Yeah. Yeah.
It was just chaos, dude. And he was fat, and even the dog.

Speaker 4 And useless, so useless. Dude,

Speaker 1 you could feed him like green beans.

Speaker 4 Which as many as he wanted. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then she did it for one day. Yeah.
I remember the day they're like, yeah, he ate a bowl of green beans. I'm like, yeah, well, he's allowed to.
That's cool.

Speaker 1 And then the next day they were like, we gave him his treats. I'm like, it's good.

Speaker 4 Well, that's the thing. He was a treat hound.
So they let him do this stuff.

Speaker 1 They just let him do that.

Speaker 4 Okay, so flash forward to Biskey.

Speaker 1 So Biskey

Speaker 1 was our.

Speaker 4 Fief was never obese. No, he wasn't.

Speaker 1 Biskey, though, got fat with us eating too much. And she's a little tiny Brussels.
A Brussels Grafan. But

Speaker 1 when we had to give her to my mother,

Speaker 1 because our youngest has a very high dog allergy.

Speaker 1 Biscuit

Speaker 1 wanted to die and she starved herself.

Speaker 1 It's true. The dog has an eating disorder.
Yeah, and we were like, oh, it's because of my mother. Like anyone that spends time with my mother just loses the will to live.

Speaker 4 Right. Serve it.
Wants to starve themselves.

Speaker 1 We're like, what's going on? This dog was fat and now it's like bones. And it's like,

Speaker 1 it gave, it gave, she gave the dog anxiety and was like, I can't do this.

Speaker 4 And literally, the dog got ill.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 we're like well this is not this never happened with us no biscuit sweet little bitsy was the opposite because we had two babies at the time yeah i remember the babies in their high chairs you know kids spill half of their food on the floor so bitsy was there licking up yeah which is fine i was too tired to clean up macaroni and cheese from the floor so i was grateful that we had her that we had a vacuum a dog vacuum yes let her do it So that was Biscuit.

Speaker 4 And now she's barely hanging on. She's skin and bones.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, she gained a little bit. A little bit.
yeah. Yeah.
But she still is like, I don't want to live.

Speaker 4 She doesn't want to live with your mom. No.
And I wish we could take her back, but I had Julian's blood tested again. The doctor says, no, Bueno, the allergies are out of control.

Speaker 4 Can't do it with the dog. So we have one cat, Munchie.

Speaker 4 And then, of course, about a month or two ago, we adopted another cat

Speaker 4 because...

Speaker 4 I'm mentally ill. And so your son, Ellis, too, and we and the kids, and we love them.
And I'm going to throw up.

Speaker 4 So here's my problem. Let's see, maybe we can figure this out together in real time since we never talk about this.
We don't have time to talk about this at home. Are you ready? Yeah.

Speaker 4 So here's the problem. I got, here's why cats are great.
Okay. Everything's automated.
The litter box cleans itself.

Speaker 4 And then I got cat feeders that automatically, so that they're not meowing at you at six in the morning for their meals. Yeah.
Okay. So it's automated.
So here's the problem.

Speaker 4 The little guy needs to eat a certain amount. The big guy, Munchie, needs to eat a certain amount.
So there's biscuit, who's the kitten, and Munchkin, the full-grown cat. Okay.

Speaker 4 So what happens is the food gets dispensed at the same time right next to each other.

Speaker 4 And now it's a free-for-all. And who's going to win eating the food? The big guy.
Big guy. So now Munchie is two pounds overweight.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Which in cat weight is what, 30 pounds? That's a lot.

Speaker 1 You can tell. He's a big boy.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Yeah.
He's super, he's a super fat.

Speaker 1 Next choice is a cigar pet. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Exactly. It's fat.
So what do I do? I don't want to lose the automation. Yeah.
Because I'm not, I don't want to wake up to meowing. What the fuck? I got to separate them.

Speaker 1 You're not asking the right guy. I don't know.

Speaker 4 Do you guys know how to do this? Because the kitten needs to eat. The cat needs to eat.

Speaker 1 I think the answer is going to be one that you don't like.

Speaker 4 Which is me feeding them fucking separately. In separate rooms.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And then what eventually the automators I can do once Munchkin's weight is stabilized and they get used to eating in these areas.

Speaker 1 And biscuits are a little bigger.

Speaker 1 You can fight off. And I'm like, hey, fuck off.
It's mine. Because right now he's like, oh.

Speaker 4 Poor biscuit.

Speaker 4 Little biscuit is just like, okay, I guess you can eat mine. It's so cute.
And he breastfeeds on me constantly.

Speaker 1 But if you want...

Speaker 4 Have you had a cat do that?

Speaker 4 Oh my god. So he does biscuits, which is why we call him that biscuit.
But then he starts sucking my shirt.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's really sad. It's the saddest thing.
It's the saddest thing I've ever seen.

Speaker 4 I know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's just like every night. Like sucking on a sweatshirt.

Speaker 4 And I'm like, babe, this is the wrong mom.

Speaker 1 And then I looked it. He's like, I'm fucking, I'm sick of doing this.
He like tuckers himself out. Yeah.
I've tried to get milk out of this bitch for a month.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Yeah, and then he gets full and then he falls asleep.
But I've tried getting the bottle feeder because I was like, oh, maybe he doesn't know how to, he won't latch it.

Speaker 1 Why don't you put the bottle feeder through your shirt?

Speaker 4 That's what I'm trying to do. I've done it.
Really? That's what I've said. I've tried, but he doesn't know to suck that.

Speaker 4 I know I got cat breastfeeding issues. I got a morbid, morbidly obese cat.
I got two hamsters that won't fucking die.

Speaker 1 They're not dead? No. God, I thought they were dead.

Speaker 4 I've been waiting patiently.

Speaker 1 Why don't we give them two biscuits?

Speaker 4 I would fucking love that.

Speaker 1 And let him just see what he can do.

Speaker 4 I would love that. Because the hammies, everybody was like, they're going to die within like two months.
It'll be easy. And then they just keep living.
It's been a year and change.

Speaker 4 And I'm like, fucking die, dude. I don't want to pay for this anymore.
Fucking hamsters. They suck.
They hate us. Every time I put my hand in there, they want to bite me.
And it's my fault.

Speaker 4 I'm a shitty owner. I don't fucking train it.

Speaker 1 Give them to my mom.

Speaker 1 Give them to my mom. They'll be dead in a week.

Speaker 1 Mom.

Speaker 4 Dude, this is such a great idea.

Speaker 1 We got it. Bro.
We got an early Christmas present.

Speaker 1 Hi, Tommy. It's a homestead.

Speaker 1 She has... dogs over there.
A couple crazy ones.

Speaker 4 You really eat it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a fun, fun plan. You know what we should do, dude?

Speaker 4 Put it in one of those balls. You know, yeah, the exercise balls.

Speaker 1 And then she'll be like, oh, I so checked.

Speaker 1 I love these.

Speaker 4 Take it home. Why don't you take them?

Speaker 1 Take them. Take them.
Take them. Give them an eating disorder and then bring him back.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the hamsters are so well fed, well taken care of. They're not dying anytime soon.

Speaker 1 I got something you're going to love.

Speaker 4 Oh, you're going to like the way I look? Yeah. You guarantee it.
My ex-boyfriend loved it when I farted right in his face. And I don't mean just like a little, like, two.

Speaker 1 I mean, like, wet, loud, messy farts.

Speaker 4 He loved that. He loved that.

Speaker 4 Pretty cool, huh? I'm sure he loves you putting a video out there about that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Everyone knows who your ex is. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, that's cool. I mean, I've been waiting for this my whole life.

Speaker 1 You're not into it. I'm not into it.

Speaker 4 I don't know why. It sounds really nice.

Speaker 4 I imagine it'd be a win-win for you and me both.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 4 It's not a win-win. What if I was into your smelly, stinky farts? Would you be okay with that?

Speaker 1 I have never farted in front of you.

Speaker 1 I've never farted in front of you. I'm never going to break that.
You're such a liar. No.

Speaker 4 Every day of my life, I woke up yesterday to the sound of you irrigating your asshole with a toto

Speaker 4 because you ran it on multiple.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's not farting, though.

Speaker 4 That's cleaning myself. Yeah, I know.
But then the farts that came after.

Speaker 4 I hear it all the time.

Speaker 1 I don't.

Speaker 4 If you get up to pish in the middle of the night,

Speaker 4 and then pish and then back.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 4 Fart, cum machine. That's all you want to do.
Fart cum. Used to be food, but now it's just farts and cum.

Speaker 1 Okay. And sweat.

Speaker 1 I'm working out, baby. I'm working out.
Hey, you take a little bit of gym. I gotta take a gym.
Kettlebells. Kettlebells.
I gotta do my cold punch.

Speaker 4 Have you cold plunged?

Speaker 1 Not today. Did you even plunge, bro? No, I didn't.

Speaker 4 Fucking lose or something.

Speaker 1 Fucking dumb bitch that I am. Yeah.

Speaker 4 What about Sana? Did you fucking...

Speaker 1 I haven't done it today.

Speaker 4 You call yourself a fitness guy?

Speaker 1 No, I don't.

Speaker 4 You're not even fit.

Speaker 1 I'm just trying to be less.

Speaker 4 Did you hyperbarracks? No.

Speaker 1 No, did you?

Speaker 4 Not today.

Speaker 4 Good.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but I'm just trying not to be disgusting. I'm not trying to be disconnected.
Same fit.

Speaker 1 That is the goal. I'm not trying to be fit.
I'm trying to be not disgusting.

Speaker 4 No, you're into like fit CEO mode now, where you want to look like...

Speaker 1 Fit CEO mode?

Speaker 4 That's the new thing. There used to be fat CEOs, and now everybody's a fit CEO.
That is a thing. You're a a fit CEO guy now.

Speaker 1 That is a thing. Yeah.
They used to be just,

Speaker 1 the thing is the boss would just be like, oh, I'm a pig because I'm the boss. You're earning a privilege.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All the CEOs of the 80s and 90s and even early 2000s, you're like, oh, that pig, that's the CEO.

Speaker 1 You know, they got, oh, I got 90 million in stock options. He's like, hell.
Yeah. And now they're just like...

Speaker 4 Everybody's jacked.

Speaker 1 I mean, the Bezos one is the best one. That's the best transformation ever.
Because it really is. If you were like, what happens if you give a fucking dork $100 billion or whatever?

Speaker 1 And then you're like, oh, you can see that now. Like he was thinning hair, just kind of like, can I see him before?

Speaker 4 Because I don't think I know what he looks like. It's amazing.

Speaker 1 It's amazing. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Good for him. Oh, I like him better as a dork.

Speaker 1 That's him.

Speaker 4 I like him much better as a dork. I don't like Fit CEO.

Speaker 4 Oh, I like him better as a nerd.

Speaker 1 He's got style. He's got muscles.

Speaker 4 He's got the veneers.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, look, look at him.

Speaker 1 bezos before the billions reading his book with his yeah fucking brown weave belt yeah i love it now he's on a yacht babe you need to get veneers next hell no those guys look the craziest well that's what he did if he got veneers yeah he looks insane

Speaker 1 look at that's look at that 98 photo i know he's a good i know he's just a sweet guy like hey hi everybody

Speaker 1 do you like books

Speaker 4 you want to have one shipped to your house i'm jeff bezos got a new idea oh he looks looks so, he does look so sweet.

Speaker 1 I know. And on the right there, he's like, look at him.

Speaker 4 Jesus. And now he's a tough guy.

Speaker 1 He's like, we can kill people.

Speaker 4 That's fine. I know.
Jeff,

Speaker 4 I like 1998, Jeff. Sweetheart.
Because he'd come up to you and he'd be like, hey, Christina.

Speaker 4 Like, he'd try to talk to you and you'd be like,

Speaker 1 I noticed you wore your shirt with hearts on it today. I know.

Speaker 4 I'd be like, thanks, Jeff.

Speaker 5 Fucking Jeff's trying to talk to me.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fucking dork. Now he's fucking plowing puss and just buying yah.

Speaker 4 He's only plowing one puss. So he got married, which is, I think, a big, stupid move when you're this wealthy.
And like, he's been married his whole life and then he just got remarried again.

Speaker 1 He likes her.

Speaker 4 You got to go plowing hoes, right, babe?

Speaker 1 I mean, you would think so.

Speaker 4 But anyway, my stepdad, you know, my Indian, my Indian stepdad, his whole thing was like, yeah, I got rich in America and now I can get fat.

Speaker 4 That's what, that's the whole point of being rich is being fat and shitty. Yeah.
And enjoying food. But now it's the opposite.

Speaker 1 Zuckerberg, another one.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, he's a dork. Let's see.

Speaker 1 He's a big fucking dork. And then now

Speaker 1 he did it also.

Speaker 4 Let's see his. I haven't seen him fit.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 He's still tasty. He does need to get a spray tan.
If he's going to... Oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but look at that. The hair, the beard, his whole Steeze.

Speaker 1 Oh, he did that.

Speaker 1 It's fake facial hair? It's fake? No.

Speaker 1 Stop.

Speaker 4 No, that's got to be AI.

Speaker 1 That can't be true. That's hilarious.

Speaker 1 And his fake facial hair.

Speaker 4 He looks great, though. It looks so much better with facial hair.

Speaker 1 He looks so much better now, period. Yeah.
Everything. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Because he had no eyebrows before. His creepy haircut, bad haircut, bad teeth.

Speaker 1 Why does it say that it's fake facial hair?

Speaker 1 Does it? I don't know. No, it's restricted.
Okay.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 That's really insane. But yeah, he was.
he was that guy. See the right? Yeah, that's the photo.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 I like the gray shirt one.

Speaker 1 That was really him.

Speaker 4 With his little bitch tip.

Speaker 1 He was so long. Or him in the suit right there.
Yeah, that's fine.

Speaker 1 That was him. But now he goes surfing and he does jiu-jitsu.
I know. And he just, he leveled up his glow-up, I guess you were saying, right?

Speaker 4 The thing is, too, if you're a CEO, like you don't have a lot of time. So these guys have to wake up at like 4 a.m.
and do that whole thing.

Speaker 1 I'm sure he has a pretty crazy schedule. Yeah.
From hoodies to high fashion. Yeah, he's he did it.
He did it, man. Yeah.
He's definitely cool now.

Speaker 5 Oh, no.

Speaker 5 He's getting leather jackets and shit.

Speaker 4 Oh, no. He's doing the

Speaker 4 cool writing shirts.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Cool writing shirts.

Speaker 4 You know, the

Speaker 4 what is that called? Like

Speaker 4 Tom Hardy?

Speaker 1 Is that a gold chain? Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 4 Yeah, right? Like, wasn't Tom Hardy the official douchebag brand? Oh, yeah, Ed Hardy.

Speaker 1 Ed Hardy. Ed Hardy.
Tom Hardy's an actor. Oh, is he?

Speaker 4 What is he doing?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Poor Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy loves jiu-jitsu douchebags.

Speaker 4 He loves jiu-jitsu. Sorry, Tom Hardy.
I meant Ed Hardy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Look at the progression one there.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I liked 08.
I like the intensity of the autistic nerd. Oh, and 04.
Like, I like when he's kind of a pissy nerd. Pissy nerd is hot.
It's when you try to be nice nerd that you suck. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Like, he was a mean nerd.

Speaker 4 Like, I liked him in the Facebook movie.

Speaker 1 Now, do you have an issue with Elon

Speaker 1 being super, super wealthy and then also out of shape? Because I think it's inexcusable, but it's kind of what we were saying. Like, that's the point of being the CEO of the world's richest guy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Right? Because what's he look like right now? It ain't good.

Speaker 4 No, he looks like a hot shit bag. Yeah.
What is it? 10 pounds of shit in a bag. In a five-pound bag.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He totally, totally does.

Speaker 4 See, here's, but here's the good thing.

Speaker 1 He tries to hide it, you know, with like clothes and the way he sits. But look at that.

Speaker 1 What the fuck is going on?

Speaker 4 But here's why this works for him. Yeah.
He is so disliked right now

Speaker 4 that that is going to be in his favor.

Speaker 1 That makes him likable. He's majorly like dissociative.
Like he is totally well on the spectrum. Like he doesn't really.
Oh, he's full circle back to our first guy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Who doesn't like to take care of the autistics? Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's not. It's crazy, though.
Like, you should.

Speaker 4 No, he looks like shit. Hot shit.

Speaker 1 And that's the thing is, if you have all those resources, like, why? Yeah, I agree. Why?

Speaker 4 You can afford a chef. You can afford a trainer.
You can afford everything in the world. You got to do it.
You got to do it.

Speaker 1 And just have this. You can have every meal just kind of go like, here you go.
This is what's healthy.

Speaker 4 There's no excuse.

Speaker 1 So is he doing well now? Is this what this is saying? Because I just saw a clip of him and it didn't look good.

Speaker 1 Didn't look good.

Speaker 4 He is so hated. Mr.

Speaker 1 Rocket Man.

Speaker 4 Everybody hates hates him so much.

Speaker 1 I know. I can't believe that people like him.

Speaker 1 I find him highly unlikeable.

Speaker 1 You know, I find him to be one of the least likable human beings on the planet.

Speaker 1 And I don't admire him. And I feel like they've given him.

Speaker 1 Look at this fucking.

Speaker 4 That sucks so bad. Here's the problem, though.
Could you imagine being on vacation and then having paparazzi snap those ghosts? No, it's horrible.

Speaker 1 I know. It's horrible.

Speaker 4 It sucks. Like, he didn't want that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 It sucks. Okay, wait, but I do want, I want fit Elon and I want tatted Elon.
Like I want him getting sleeves. That's the next step.

Speaker 1 You know who I respect? They're look-wise. I've always liked Larry Ellison's look.
No, it's looking good. Because he looks like, hey, fuck you.
That's what his look is at all times.

Speaker 1 He has contempt. I love it.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 You know?

Speaker 1 Smug, smug rich girl.

Speaker 1 Smug. Yeah.
And it's fantastic.

Speaker 4 Yeah, this is what like Mr. Burns was in The Simpsons.
Like, if you're going to be a rich girl, be a rich girl.

Speaker 4 The problem is you're trying to be a likable rich person. Nobody likes you.
No. Nobody fucking likes you because you're too rich.

Speaker 1 Now, Larry loves Elon.

Speaker 4 I know.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he's been super rich for so long, but he always has that look of like, hmm.

Speaker 4 Contempt for the force.

Speaker 1 It's so fucking good. So good.

Speaker 4 Yeah. So good.
You know what? Who I always liked and who was severely out of shape and ironically?

Speaker 4 Tommy Lasorda.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 I loved the Las Doyers, yeah.

Speaker 1 Slimfast.

Speaker 4 Yeah. He did Slimfast commercials.
Tommy Lasorda.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 He's, was he the coach for the Doyers?

Speaker 1 Manager, yeah. Their manager.
Yeah. Look at him.
Look at his hushy right there.

Speaker 4 He's such a piece of shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I just love.

Speaker 4 Yeah. He died at 93.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Italian. He loved to eat.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 He loved Tommy lasagna. That's what they used to call him.

Speaker 1 He might have something in LA.

Speaker 4 But he's one of those guys that was like, look, fuck it. I made it.
I'm going to eat. I'm not going to try to be fit.
I'm a baseball guy.

Speaker 1 Who cares? Let me see if I can find this because I think you're going to get a real

Speaker 1 Florida.

Speaker 4 He was known for being fat in the 80s and the 90s. Like, Tommy would do the Slim Fast ads

Speaker 4 because people knew how fat he was and he couldn't control his weight. Correct.
Because he would yo-yo. And then they were like, why don't you just do Slim Fast commercials?

Speaker 1 He was up and down. down.
He would do this. He would yo-yo.

Speaker 4 That's what he was known for:

Speaker 1 he'd lose weight, then he'd open a bakery.

Speaker 1 You got to do the volume.

Speaker 8 I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 8 You got a left hand here, I strike this motherfucker. I don't give a shit, Dougie.

Speaker 8 Well, I may be wrong, but that's my goddamn job.

Speaker 8 I'll make the fucking decisions here.

Speaker 8 I'll make the fucking decisions here, okay?

Speaker 4 Love these guys. I miss this.

Speaker 1 It just kills me that we don't get to hear this on the broadcast.

Speaker 1 Hey now.

Speaker 8 I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 8 God damn it. I'll make the fucking decision.
Keep your fucking mouth shut. I told you.

Speaker 4 And I love Tim.

Speaker 8 So great. I love it.
We talk about it in my fucking office.

Speaker 1 Okay, we're good.

Speaker 1 You can take it down.

Speaker 1 I love this kind of stuff. It's so great.

Speaker 4 I know. But see, this is it.
If you're going to be that guy, just be an unlikable piece of shit. When you try to be likable, this is.

Speaker 1 Well, the funny thing about him is he was beloved. Beloved.
And in public, he was like, hello.

Speaker 1 Do you know that Tommy Lasorda? I've told you this before.

Speaker 1 When you're, you know, Jewish people have a bar mitzvah about mitzvah. When you're Catholic, you have

Speaker 1 what's it called?

Speaker 1 Confirmation.

Speaker 1 confirmation thank you when i had my confirmation um there was 15 of us we were in a small town in florida and the person that gave our like confirmation speech was tommy lasorda that's right because the dodgers used to do spring training in viro beach so

Speaker 1 they're like all right y'all are catholic adults now uh and to you know welcome you into adulthood here's tommy lasorda

Speaker 1 tommy lasorda god you're so lucky you got him yeah it was great damn dude pretty cool and then you could tell that like eight of them were like, who? They just sat there like, idiots. Who's this guy?

Speaker 1 I grew up in L.A.

Speaker 4 I never got Tommy Lasorda to talk in my school.

Speaker 1 That's wild.

Speaker 4 So unfair.

Speaker 1 It's pretty crazy.

Speaker 4 The guy's a legend.

Speaker 1 He's a pretty cool dude. I miss him.
You miss him?

Speaker 4 I just miss guys like that that are like, I'm a piece of shit. Like everybody's fit.
Everybody's perfect. Everybody's striving for excellence.

Speaker 4 There's no sense of like, yeah, you can be excellent, but maybe you fucking hate yourself too. Maybe you're a fat piece of shit.
And that's okay because you're not there yet.

Speaker 4 Like not in this life, dude. You're just going to be fat and shitty in this life.

Speaker 1 That's okay. Speaking of people who can't read social cues well.
Me? No. We were just talking about them.

Speaker 1 Sorry, was I talking too much? No, no. I mean, you have a little bit of dash downs.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Yeah, but this guy.

Speaker 1 That's very sickly.

Speaker 1 I just had a business discussion with the people that need to hear it. So

Speaker 1 whatever y'all want to say. I don't like it.
Please proceed. Yeah, I'm dressed up.
Dressed up? Yeah, yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got tattoos. Yeah, please keep on going.

Speaker 1 That's it. That's the whole video.
I don't know.

Speaker 4 Oh, so he's practicing for a business call.

Speaker 1 No, he did one. He did his business call, and he's telling you that, like, I had just had a business discussion and,

Speaker 1 you know, just keep talking. Yeah, I'm dressed up.
This is funny that he's like, this is dressed up. I know.

Speaker 4 He's got two crosses on.

Speaker 1 He's doubly Catholic.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's a weird double. I've never seen the double cross.

Speaker 1 I got to keep talking.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 4 What's going on?

Speaker 4 He's like a teenager. He's trying to show you how cool he is.
Can I tell you something? Yeah. Talk.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 If there was TikTok,

Speaker 4 if there was like this stuff.

Speaker 1 I hated that so much.

Speaker 1 Stop fucking doing that.

Speaker 1 It was awful. I hate it.

Speaker 4 Hold on. Can I talk to you a full second?

Speaker 1 Stop making so much noise. If

Speaker 4 social medias existed when I was a teenager, do you understand

Speaker 4 how embarrassing my shit would have been to all of us?

Speaker 1 All goth all day.

Speaker 4 I would be like, welcome. You know, I would just have done the most...
the gayest goth stuff. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're good.

Speaker 4 So, but he's too old to be doing this. Is he wearing a bald cap cap or he's really bald?

Speaker 1 He's really bald. Yeah, of course.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he's touched. He's too cool.
He's touched. Yeah.
You think he's TikToked? Yeah. But he doesn't look touched in the face.

Speaker 1 You can tell by the way he communicates that something's not happening. Not every, you know.

Speaker 4 Should I pay for him?

Speaker 4 You want to pay for him? His parents should pay for him. He's autistic.

Speaker 1 That's right. Yeah.
Fucking guy.

Speaker 1 Fuck you and fuck your kid.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's pretty cool. That was loud in my ear.
I didn't like that.

Speaker 1 You deserve it for everything I've been doing.

Speaker 1 Ugh. Take the doors off.
Oh, shit. Oh,

Speaker 1 fuck, dude. Holy shit.
I liked that very much. Take the doors off.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 I like that. That bounce, a bat bounced from the windshield right into his face.
Yep. Yeah, he's fucked up over that.
Yeah, dude. That is fucked up.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ. So there's a guy that is scaling a wall that he shouldn't be.

Speaker 1 And there's not a lot of ledge there. And then he falls.
I don't want it. I don't like it.

Speaker 1 Look at that knee.

Speaker 4 No, I don't want to look at it.

Speaker 1 It's just right there. Nope.
It's right there. It's frozen.

Speaker 4 It's frozen. Just look.
Don't give a fuck, mate. Mate.

Speaker 4 I don't want to fucking see it, guys.

Speaker 1 Look.

Speaker 4 Look at it. I don't want to.
This reminds me.

Speaker 4 No, I don't want to fucking look. I'm going to puke.

Speaker 4 Why do you have to do this?

Speaker 4 Why do you torture me?

Speaker 1 Because I want you to feel stuff.

Speaker 4 I don't love you. Okay.

Speaker 1 Check out this next one. No.
Next one. No.

Speaker 4 Put your fucking phone down. No, I want to plug something for my friend.

Speaker 4 Just let me find it.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Speaking of mites, Connor Swindles, friend of the show, British actor, has a movie on Netflix, I believe, that's dropping today, actually, on November 19th, called Jingle Bell Heist. Check it out.

Speaker 4 He's a mommy.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 He's really sweet.

Speaker 1 He is very sweet. He's a terrible actor.

Speaker 4 Very good actor. He's done a bunch of shit.
He said it was a Barbie movie. He's done.

Speaker 1 Odd choice and placement of the ad, but yeah, he's a great actor.

Speaker 4 Because we are doing English accents.

Speaker 1 I put it together. I put it together.
I fucking hate you so much.

Speaker 4 You know what, Jeff Bezos?

Speaker 1 Shut up.

Speaker 1 Shut up.

Speaker 4 You're just as bad as him with your fit comedian.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 fuck.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Holy shit.

Speaker 1 He might not be able to talk anymore. Holy fuck.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit.

Speaker 4 You had a helmet on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's not going to help your neck.

Speaker 1 He hit that so fucking hard.

Speaker 4 I hate this segment.

Speaker 1 It's the best. It's the absolute best.
This is why they watch, Gene.

Speaker 4 This is what this is not why they watch for my TikToks. No.
Everybody knows.

Speaker 4 I've been waiting for this clip my whole life.

Speaker 1 I like what someone's just like, that guy's like, come on, man.

Speaker 4 That's India. So they're all like, okay, big deal, move along.

Speaker 4 Look, no motherfuckers stop for you when you die in India.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's not dead. He's okay.

Speaker 1 He's okay. We checked.
Everybody said he's okay.

Speaker 4 This fool bounced off the dirt.

Speaker 4 Dirt road, whatever the fuck he is. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Calcutta. He's dead.

Speaker 1 I don't think he's dead. I think he's okay.

Speaker 4 I love how no one gives a shit. Look, that guy's not even looking his way next to him on the motorcycle.
That's how little life matters.

Speaker 1 It's a lot of people, man. It's a lot of peeps.
Yeah. You can't, you got to care less.
You have to. No, yeah.

Speaker 4 And even if you do go to the hospital, good luck with that.

Speaker 1 You think so? That's not going to be good.

Speaker 4 Well, fuck no. No way, dude.
I want to go to the hospital in like second world shit. Like in Budapest, Hungary,

Speaker 4 in the 90s, you didn't want to go to the hospital.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And that's...

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 4 There's no way that's a good sitch.

Speaker 1 I mean, they have to have good hospitals. They have to.

Speaker 1 There's too many people.

Speaker 4 There's no way.

Speaker 1 There's no good hospitals.

Speaker 4 In India? Yeah, of course. In India.

Speaker 1 I mean, they're in every town, but like, you don't think Mumbai has a decent hospital.

Speaker 4 Maybe, yeah, maybe, maybe. Yes, maybe Mumbai.
Yeah. Mumby Bumbay.
Went next to the Four Seasons. I mean,

Speaker 4 they do have a Four Seasons, I've heard.

Speaker 1 First of all, who are the best doctors here?

Speaker 4 But they come here, brew.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but some don't.

Speaker 4 They get their degrees here. and then not abroad

Speaker 4 i don't think so yes they do you cannot practice medicine

Speaker 4 what are you talking in america unless you pass the marina no but i'm saying that that there's still got to be excellent medical care sure sure of course i don't know i do know racist i know this is i just don't trust it i don't trust it's not it's because my stepdad it may my stepfather told me so many awful stories about this country i have so much sadness for them it's that terrible time.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I don't think it's as bad as you're saying. I think it's actually Google Google

Speaker 4 Bombay Hospital.

Speaker 1 I mean, just okay.

Speaker 1 Are there good hospitals?

Speaker 4 12 kids in one bed.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah, there they are, crammed in.

Speaker 1 It's a COVID image.

Speaker 4 We don't think.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 1 Just actually write: How good are the hospitals in India?

Speaker 4 Bring, bring, bring. Nope.

Speaker 4 That's not going to be good.

Speaker 1 I think it's actually, there has to be good ones.

Speaker 1 I don't know, dude.

Speaker 4 They have open defecation.

Speaker 1 There's so many people, though. They can't just have poor medical care in a nation of a billion people.
I don't believe that that's.

Speaker 4 I just think you're too American.

Speaker 1 See, it varies significantly between the private and public sectors. Top-tier private hospitals offering world-class care.
Good, good.

Speaker 4 Okay, so go to India for your fucking appendicitis.

Speaker 1 I mean, you don't have to be so goddamn crass, Christine. Okay,

Speaker 1 there's people there that they need help and they're getting it.

Speaker 4 I hope so.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Look, I love the Indians.

Speaker 1 You're just, you know what you need to do? You need to get on a fucking dating app.

Speaker 1 You need to meet somebody.

Speaker 1 You want me to tell you how to do it?

Speaker 1 I'll tell you how to do it.

Speaker 9 What's up, niggas? I have a way to fix dating apps. Number one, ban Indian men.
Number two, ban fat women.

Speaker 10 Number three, ban single mothers and their baby daddies.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 4 Wow, this chick's got it figured out.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I don't seem so bad now compared to her.

Speaker 1 Well, that's why I played it, to help you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she's... And also, the confidence.

Speaker 4 Yeah, she said it dead faced.

Speaker 1 Dead and just ready to go. And she's just like,

Speaker 1 that's how we fix things.

Speaker 4 I'm sweating.

Speaker 1 Does she post stuff like this a lot?

Speaker 4 Do we know this broad?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Her name is Brittany Venti.

Speaker 1 I don't know her, dude. It says that she's a biological black woman.
Okay. Is this true? I don't know.
Shit.

Speaker 1 Is that her?

Speaker 1 There she is. I am a biologically black woman, but the black community revoked my card.
That's a strange.

Speaker 1 Well, she doesn't fit into the black community, maybe.

Speaker 1 I thought that was Niana's profile. Who is this person?

Speaker 4 She's pretty, though. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is that you?

Speaker 1 A lot of pictures alone. No, not black.

Speaker 4 Oh. A lot of pictures alone.
Do we have TikToks?

Speaker 1 Do we have time for that?

Speaker 1 We can do a couple. Let's do it.
You ready? Yeah. Here we go.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh my god. Oh.

Speaker 4 I just don't do the move if you can't do the move.

Speaker 1 Don't do it. That's exactly right.
Just don't do the move. Because there's an age where you go, I can't do the move anymore.
That's okay. And he just was like.

Speaker 4 So slow and embarrassing.

Speaker 1 And then you have to be like,

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I know. That's how I feel watching Madonna dance.

Speaker 1 It's all bad.

Speaker 4 Don't just try to do the same exact thing. Yeah.
Do something different that you can do. Do what you can do.
Oh my God. Yeah, you can't do the same exact thing you did when you were young.

Speaker 1 Is there another mic trick here? Let's see.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 4 that one was okay. All right, he spun it.
Yeah. It's a cordless mic.

Speaker 1 Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
He's like.

Speaker 4 I can't tell if that was intentional or not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that felt like I'm going to fall and then act like I was trying to fall. You know?

Speaker 4 That's what I would have done.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what I would have done too. Like,

Speaker 1 well, down here now. Somebody rushed up, like, you okay?

Speaker 4 No, there's no way he meant to fall down.

Speaker 1 Who did he throw that to?

Speaker 4 Side, some stage hand. She's like, God, Jesus, he's throwing the mics.

Speaker 1 Throwing the mic stand again?

Speaker 4 Yeah. You break that.
I have to fucking fix that again. It's a wireless.
It's going to be a problem. And then replacing that shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's good.

Speaker 9 As you go off, you see this blur of green and blue in the background because you're going really quickly. And that's when I came to a sudden stop in the air.

Speaker 9 That was my safety heart, which actually snapped.

Speaker 9 Opening my eyes underwater, seeing all this murky brown, bubbly stuff, so you can't really see anything. It's like being in a washing machine, you don't know which way's up, which way's down.

Speaker 9 Originally, I was looking at going to Europe, and then I remembered that it's actually cold over there, so I decided I'd head somewhere a bit warmer.

Speaker 9 I started off in Egypt, so I spent two weeks traveling around Egypt and then headed down to Zambia from Malawi, where I was studying.

Speaker 1 That's strong as fuck. Is this this person's life story?

Speaker 9 That's a far.

Speaker 1 As part of the tour, you go along, really.

Speaker 4 I just meant for that show where she gets snapped.

Speaker 1 It's horrible. And then she was like,

Speaker 1 that's my safety harness. And then that snapped.
Yo.

Speaker 4 She's like, then he's in the water and he's washed around like he's in a washing machine. I'm like, dah.

Speaker 4 Really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Don't know what's up or down.

Speaker 4 That's cool. I would be, I mean,

Speaker 4 I never bungee jumped. Did you ever do this? Never.

Speaker 1 I've never bungee jumped.

Speaker 4 No. I never trusted the equipment on that one.

Speaker 1 It was never of interest to me, really.

Speaker 4 No, me neither. They tried to get me interested.
People were trying. I'm like, I don't try.

Speaker 4 I don't think so.

Speaker 1 I don't, I think so.

Speaker 4 Nah, dude.

Speaker 1 Fuck your bungie. Believe in yourself, you're a shining star.

Speaker 1 And right away you go, you'll never be far.

Speaker 1 Every step you take,

Speaker 1 you're writing your song.

Speaker 1 So believe in yourself, and you will be strong.

Speaker 4 I love this song.

Speaker 1 Do you? Yeah. It's a nice studio, too.

Speaker 4 Yeah, of course.

Speaker 4 She's been

Speaker 1 Claire Alexander's been blowing up fucking. Bye, Claire Alexander.
Yeah. Congratulations to Claire on your new hit.
Yep.

Speaker 4 She's great.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I know she's been plugging it and really working in.

Speaker 1 That was your best line I've ever seen. Just, she's great.

Speaker 1 Well, she's

Speaker 4 selling CDs. Good.

Speaker 1 C D's are popular these days.

Speaker 4 And you know.

Speaker 1 I'm sensing a theme to this batch.

Speaker 1 Can you guess what it is?

Speaker 1 It's awesome. Talent.
Yeah, talent. That's what I was going to say.

Speaker 4 What do you think her dance moves?

Speaker 1 It reminds me of older Chinese people in the park.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. I know what you're talking about.
They do their Tai Chi.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right, buddy, let's see if you can fly today.
Oh. Oh, there he is.

Speaker 4 It's actually working. Look at him.

Speaker 1 He's frozen.

Speaker 4 The weirdest thing I've ever seen. All right, bring him down, gentle.

Speaker 4 That's pretty rad.

Speaker 1 That's pretty fun.

Speaker 4 Cat flying with drones? It's AI, right? I'm sure. Yeah.
It's pretty cute, though.

Speaker 4 It's fun.

Speaker 1 That's why you should use AI. Make fun videos like that.

Speaker 4 That and, yeah, highly inappropriate ones that I'm really liking.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, there's some fun Nazi ones out there. Let's see what else we got here.

Speaker 4 They're saying, I guess in China, it's like old people are just allowed to

Speaker 1 blast.

Speaker 4 You're not supposed to say that.

Speaker 1 That was wet, and it had different stages of it.

Speaker 1 Pretty crazy.

Speaker 1 All right, I gotta run. I love you.
I love you too.

Speaker 1 Thank you for watching. Thank you for listening.
Please check out Chichobomba here in Austin, Texas. Currently, the pop-up is at the fairgrounds in downtown Austin, and we will see you guys very soon.

Speaker 1 Bye-bye.

Speaker 1 That was horrible.

Speaker 1 You have no idea what you just did to people. That was horrible.

Speaker 1 Completely blew it out.

Speaker 4 Why would you do that into the league?

Speaker 4 Horrible.

Speaker 4 Horrible.

Speaker 4 Why would you do it?

Speaker 4 Tagged Jacket.

Speaker 4 turn.

Speaker 4 I just wanted to see what that felt like.