Did We Find The NEW FedSmoker?! | Your Mom's House Ep. 835

Speaker 1 Hey everyone, this month I'm filming my new stand-up special in Milwaukee at the Riverside Theater on November 14th and 15th. Tickets are available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show only.

Speaker 1 I'll also be in El Paso, Tucson, and Colorado Springs this weekend. Get your tickets now at tomskira.com/slash tour.

Speaker 1 Well, welcome.

Speaker 1 Welcome to your mom's house.

Speaker 2 This episode is brought to you by Netflix. This Monday night, witness the end of an era.
John Cena takes center stage for his final appearance ever on Monday Night Raw.

Speaker 2 One last match, one unforgettable farewell. Come celebrate the legacy of a true WWE legend.
Monday Night Raw, November 17th at 8 p.m. Eastern Time, 5 p.m.
Pacific Time, only on Netflix.

Speaker 2 Be there for the moment everyone will be talking about.

Speaker 1 Welcome

Speaker 1 to another episode of Your Mom's House. How are you feeling today, Gene?

Speaker 3 Good. Today, actually,

Speaker 3 my winter drop is now available, so you can buy in time for Christmas. You can pre-order it.

Speaker 1 Are you wearing the winter drop?

Speaker 3 This was my fall drop. Oh.

Speaker 1 The winter drop.

Speaker 3 I have a new liquid lipstick color that I call Cuts You Up and a shimmer gloss.

Speaker 1 What's it called?

Speaker 1 Cuts you up.

Speaker 1 Cuts you up. Oh, cuts you up.
I thought you were saying a Japanese word. Katsuya.
Katsuya.

Speaker 3 ChristinaP.com.

Speaker 1 Congratulations. Thanks.

Speaker 1 The makeup continues to impress Gene.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's fun. I really believe in this product, too.
It doesn't suck. So much makeup fucking sucks.
And I spend a lot of money and time making these good.

Speaker 1 I mean, the results are impressive. People also really like it.

Speaker 3 And I'll tell you what, too. I like having interesting makeup.
Not necessarily about, like, like, you know, being a Kardashian, because that shit's boring.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's not who you are. That's not who I am, bro.

Speaker 1 You're a dark child.

Speaker 3 I'm a dark demon hunter, K-pop demon hunter.

Speaker 1 But no hate on them.

Speaker 3 I'm just, it's not for me. It's not for me.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 What are you inside?

Speaker 3 Who are you inside?

Speaker 1 I mean, there's some darkness.

Speaker 3 Oh, you're a serial killer.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't go that far. I think I'm a God warrior, but I'm still like.

Speaker 3 I am God Warrior.

Speaker 1 There's some dark stuff in there too.

Speaker 3 I'm so excited. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 She lost all the weight, that lady.

Speaker 1 I'm a little bit more. Did she

Speaker 1 know? Can you pull up God Warrior? She was a marvelous. For people that don't know.

Speaker 3 What show was that on?

Speaker 1 Trading Spouses. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Did you work on that show? Yeah. So I was there.

Speaker 1 Oh, there she is. Yeah, she looks great.

Speaker 3 Marguerite

Speaker 1 Pairing. That's the clip when she's a big old lady right there.

Speaker 1 So the concept of the show was that two people from different families would go live with the other families called trading spouses. So they would do things, obviously, like pair a

Speaker 1 woman from a liberal family to a conservative family, and vice versa.

Speaker 1 And so cameras would be running, and it was super entertaining because you'd see people that are, you know, not from this lifestyle all of a sudden thrust into living with a family like that.

Speaker 1 And, you know, they'd pick like somebody from like a farm and send them to like New York City and vice versa. So anyway, I'm working in the post

Speaker 1 production office where at the time and I don't know if if reality is still done this way

Speaker 1 maybe it is but at the time you know the cameras would run 24 7 and then they'd have a PA on location take the tapes from that week and fly with them back so that nothing could happen like you have to have a human being carrying them not you're not going to ship it FedEx, you know?

Speaker 1 So, you know, PA came in, dropped off tapes, and I would work, this is when I was working the graveyard shift,

Speaker 1 7 p.m. to 7 a.m.
It was awful, awful for me physically, mentally, emotionally, just for life in general. It was awful.
But

Speaker 1 I remember

Speaker 1 being in the post house and, you know, you'd know the editor's bays. And there was a couple people that were

Speaker 1 like convening by this editor's bay down the hall and I was hearing hollering and

Speaker 1 laughing and chatting. I'm like, what's going on down there? And I went down there and I saw they were watching this lady

Speaker 1 who

Speaker 1 basically she was from Louisiana and they put her with, I think, just like a more, yeah, let's say liberal family. And when she got back home, she was just like, she was having like a mental break.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And she was like, those people are demons

Speaker 1 and I'm a God warrior. Yeah, and she just exploded.
Can you play the God warrior? She's not a Christian.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she that, yes, yeah, remember?

Speaker 3 She was shrieking out that she's not a Christian.

Speaker 1 Yes, dude. This was

Speaker 1 2005.

Speaker 3 This is when we were dating. As if she believed in God,

Speaker 3 she's not a Christian.

Speaker 4 She could be a Jew and believe in God.

Speaker 3 It doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 Dark-sided. Dark-sided.
Yes.

Speaker 3 Dork-sided.

Speaker 1 She did.

Speaker 3 The entire house

Speaker 3 is dark-sided. Dork and her whole house is dark.

Speaker 1 She is dark-sided, too.

Speaker 1 Clay met it, eyes. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Mom's got problems.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Mom's a borderline. That's a little bit of it.
But anyway, she went fucking nuts, dude. She went nuts.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wife swap. Is it wife swap?

Speaker 3 Wife swap.

Speaker 1 Okay, because Trading Spouses was the other. Wife Swap must have been Fox and Trading Spouses with ABC.
I think that's what it was.

Speaker 3 Great. Both of them.
I was really into that show. I don't know.

Speaker 3 I was really into that show.

Speaker 1 It is Trading Spouses.

Speaker 1 Anyway.

Speaker 3 Only had three seasons.

Speaker 3 I feel like they could do that show infinitely.

Speaker 3 It should be an ongoing social experiment.

Speaker 1 You know, the mastermind of all the shows.

Speaker 1 Which one? Because

Speaker 1 I was at a place that did them for Fox. They had like a Fox deal.

Speaker 1 You had Trading Spouses, my Big Fat, Obnoxious Boss, my big fat obnoxious fiancé some makeover stuff it was a little french french dude named jean michel oh i remember he was like 5'1

Speaker 1 and he had like the long shoulder length hair yeah

Speaker 1 is that him is that jean michel jean michel

Speaker 1 that can't be the guy is it

Speaker 1 this is what happens when you click on it what's that a little child was he a child star no i have no idea i i think so big fat, obnoxious body.

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah, he's got all those credits, but that's the photo. Bizarre.

Speaker 3 That's his child. He was an actor, I guess, a child actor.

Speaker 1 Oh, can you look up like images of him as an adult?

Speaker 3 Joe Millionaire, remember that show?

Speaker 3 That was a good one. He did a ton of shit.
Temptation Island.

Speaker 1 Nah, that ain't him, bro.

Speaker 1 That's not who we're talking about.

Speaker 1 Let's see.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 there's no images of this guy

Speaker 1 huh

Speaker 1 that's it

Speaker 1 this is what we're seeing yeah how does somebody how can you do that in today's world where you're like there's no images of me and you're in television yeah that's very rare

Speaker 1 yeah that's really crazy unless he had it scrubbed that ain't him bro it ain't him homie dang weird i'm telling you i used to go to sound mixes with this guy yeah i remember you telling me yeah you'd be like it's the night he comes in.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's he's a little dude. He'd get lit too.
He'd drink like three bottles of wine.

Speaker 1 And he's such a frog that he would sit in his, he had like a nice suite at the office and he had like a high-powered air vent. So they would suck, he'd smoke in his office.

Speaker 3 Mad respect. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then you'd see the gold shoot out of the ceiling.

Speaker 3 I respect it. Yeah.
I respect that they still

Speaker 3 stick to smoking cigarettes.

Speaker 1 The frogs? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think Eastern European bros, too. A lot.
A lot of people still do, actually. The Turks,

Speaker 1 Koreans.

Speaker 3 I don't buy that vaping is somehow better.

Speaker 1 I don't think it is. I don't think it is.
You're still putting something in your lungs.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'd rather smoke a leaf with chemicals on it than just the chemicals, right?

Speaker 1 This just makes smoking come back.

Speaker 3 I know. When do we get to start smoking cigarettes again, Tom?

Speaker 1 I think a later diagnosis in life.

Speaker 3 If I get cancer again. It's kind of on.
I think so. Because the kind that I had was rare.
If it comes back.

Speaker 1 If it comes back, you tell them, I'll do all the things things you're telling me, and two packs a day.

Speaker 3 A thousand percent. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Fuck it.

Speaker 1 I had a good salad today, took my meds, cigarettes, smoked 15 cigarettes. I feel good.

Speaker 3 I wonder, and this is probably a stupid thing to say out loud in my dumb brain, but like,

Speaker 3 I wonder how many cigarettes are really that shitty for you. Like, what's the cancer number?

Speaker 1 Oh, right. Do you know?

Speaker 3 I bet you could get away.

Speaker 3 Somebody knows.

Speaker 1 Somebody knows. One of you fucking researchers knows.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because there are people that get lung cancer that have never smoked a day in their life. Exactly.

Speaker 1 And then there's people who smoke a pack and a half a day and also don't get lung cancer.

Speaker 3 Of course.

Speaker 1 What if they know? They're like, it's three a day.

Speaker 3 You can totally smoke three a day. You can, it's fine.
You're not going to die.

Speaker 1 You want a morning, noon, and night routine? It's fine. It's fine.

Speaker 1 We got to ask Dr. Drew.
Yeah. Oh, we could.
Well, he's going to give us

Speaker 1 some fucking answer they want us to hear. Yeah.
It's not going to be the answer that. Yeah.

Speaker 3 My research. You just haven't researched it.

Speaker 1 My buddy Todd was saying the other day that he was smoking like 40 cigarettes a day for 16 years and he's fine. You read it.

Speaker 3 Read these. Did you read this report?

Speaker 1 Todd's wrong.

Speaker 1 All right. You ready to see the opener?

Speaker 3 Oh, Todd. Hey, it's a it's a here we go.

Speaker 1 It's a woman. That's weird.

Speaker 1 Still can't poop.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Can't poop for like 48 hours. I have no idea why

Speaker 1 I took medicine. It's not working.

Speaker 1 Help. I'll help you.

Speaker 1 Oh, the best.

Speaker 2 Don't bring anyone mother to this.

Speaker 1 Your mom in the fuck is dead.

Speaker 1 Welcome to your mom's house. Your mom

Speaker 1 with Tom Shakura.

Speaker 3 Mom Shakura and Christina Meowzitsky.

Speaker 1 Welcome to your mom's house.

Speaker 3 Yeah, 48 hours after you've already taken the laxatives and no budge.

Speaker 1 What's the guideline here? All right.

Speaker 3 Well, here's what I've done.

Speaker 1 You're kind of an expert in this area. Go ahead.

Speaker 3 I am.

Speaker 3 If the laxatives don't work, you're going to go ahead and just shove a suppository right up your ass. And that is a shooting.
I'm not sure if I did, yeah. For this last round of stuff,

Speaker 3 it took two suppositories to get Brown to come down.

Speaker 3 But then when it finally, the dam opens up and you've got those, the oxy shits that you've been holding on to for days in the hospital and then you come home and you know.

Speaker 3 You know, that first post-oxy shit.

Speaker 3 Dude, that alone would

Speaker 1 almost makes drugs not worth it. Yes.
It's not, it's not, I wouldn't say it's not worth it, but it's almost not worth it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because I feel like you just, you have to choose shitting or being high.

Speaker 1 High is awesome.

Speaker 3 High is awesome.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, dude. And the Diloted, that was amazing.
That was amazing. That was amazing.

Speaker 1 It's the all-time greatest.

Speaker 3 I know.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 3 I can remember right now. Like, I remember the first time she gave it to me in my IV.

Speaker 1 I got to find a doctor who'll come to the house and do it. I know.
You guys want some Dilotted tonight before bed?

Speaker 5 Yes.

Speaker 1 It'd be awesome, man. Be awesome.

Speaker 1 So you would tell her it's repository next. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Don't fuck around.

Speaker 3 48 hours, just shove one in there. You don't have to let it melt all the way even.
Sometimes it'll just burn your rim.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 You've used repository, yeah? Yeah, yeah. It just like stings your button.

Speaker 1 I don't remember any stinging. Really?

Speaker 1 I remember the discomfort of something being shoved up my ass.

Speaker 1 That's the part that I was really married to.

Speaker 1 You remember that?

Speaker 3 Yeah, that sucks. Who did it? It was Jihad.

Speaker 1 The nurse. No.

Speaker 1 No, and it was, I mean, it was mortifying. And then you felt the shit coming and it came out like hot sludge.
Oh, nice.

Speaker 1 And then the lady was like, oh, the nurse who's supposed to be a, she goes, oh, my God.

Speaker 1 She goes, you have so much hair back here. Oh.

Speaker 1 And the whole time she was like, oh, no.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God. That's not very nice.
I know.

Speaker 1 She was older. I was like, what a bitch.
She was like, oh, Jesus.

Speaker 3 Man, a bad nurse can make or break, it can break your fucking stay at a hospital. You need a shitbag nurse like that.

Speaker 1 That's mostly good one. I have great ones here in Texas.
It wasn't great.

Speaker 3 Well, yeah, at the house when I had one at the house.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, oh. But at the hospital.

Speaker 3 Amazing. Shout out St.
David's. Always excellent.
Shout out to St. David's.

Speaker 1 No problems there. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, dude. Well, what do you think? What would you tell her? Poop soup, here's what you get to do.
Poop soup just cleans you out when it's a little like, uh-oh, this needs a little, uh-oh.

Speaker 3 I skipped one movement.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Then you take your laxatives. Yeah.
And you take another round. And if nothing, suppository.

Speaker 1 Suppository.

Speaker 3 That's what I do. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't really have a constipation issue.

Speaker 3 You have the opposite. Ever.
Yeah. No, but you do like loose browns.

Speaker 1 I mean, I've had loose browns. I know what causes them.

Speaker 1 Well. Loose browns are high fat usually.

Speaker 3 Really? You think so? That's after all these years.

Speaker 1 The thing that is a guarantee for me is like high fat, greasy. Yeah.
Like it's going to, like, I try to avoid that on almost every situation I'm in now.

Speaker 3 And that will prevent the loose browns.

Speaker 1 That'll prevent loose browns, yeah. I just don't have a good gut for high fat.
I don't.

Speaker 3 That's interesting. You know, you should really tell our GI doctor that, that finding.
You still haven't mailed in your shit.

Speaker 1 I haven't mailed in my shit.

Speaker 1 I wish you would. I know.
Maybe it's a project for when I'm home for an extended period next.

Speaker 1 Take a nice long, hot shit.

Speaker 3 Don't you have to just scoop a little bit?

Speaker 1 Into like, she gave me like 15 vials.

Speaker 1 And there's also instructions about how much shit. Don't put in too little and don't put in too much.
It's so specific. It's really cool.
It's a cool thing.

Speaker 3 It's like, why haven't you given me back your shit?

Speaker 1 She told me that. She left me a message.

Speaker 1 I don't have your poop. I don't have your poop.
I need you to do it. She's great.
She is great.

Speaker 3 You really got to get in there.

Speaker 1 Motherfucker, I got to get my poop in there.

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Speaker 3 hey By the way,

Speaker 3 when we were on vacation,

Speaker 3 I don't know if this is too personal. If you don't want me to share this, we can edit this out.
But I've been listening to you dump through walls for years, 20 years.

Speaker 3 And I've never brought this up until recently. When there's a point in your bowel movements where you go

Speaker 3 and you make an audible

Speaker 3 sound.

Speaker 3 What is happening at that moment?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't know that I'm making that sound.
You do.

Speaker 3 You do.

Speaker 1 I don't know that I'm making that sound though. So, I mean, you're telling me, like, what are you doing?

Speaker 3 I'm like, I don't understand what it's unconscious for you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I sound like, I mean, your description,

Speaker 1 it feels like it's just relief. Like, there goes all the work that I've been putting in.

Speaker 1 Done.

Speaker 3 Yeah. It's like, it's like, it's that.
It's a sigh. Yeah.
Yeah. That's it.

Speaker 1 So that to me sounds like I just was done pushing.

Speaker 1 Isn't that what that sounds like to you? Sounds like post-push. Yes.
Relief.

Speaker 3 You're in labor.

Speaker 3 The contraction has gone. And then you let out the baby brown.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Not too elevated.

Speaker 1 What you did before?

Speaker 3 That's the sound.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that sounds like I just got done pushing.

Speaker 3 But it's so loud that I can hear it

Speaker 1 through the wall.

Speaker 3 Wow. And I can even hear it in our own home.

Speaker 1 I know that you heard a couple of pee farts, like when I would go pee and then fart. Because I actually had some pretty epic ones down there.

Speaker 3 Amazing farts. Yeah.
When you pee.

Speaker 1 Last couple days, I was real bummed out that you weren't around for some of the stuff I had.

Speaker 3 I was really bummed too because I was browning non-stop.

Speaker 1 You mentioned that.

Speaker 1 I was sad to be so far away. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was so crazy. So crazy.

Speaker 3 Can you imagine? I mean, we talk about this all the time that there are couples who don't fart.

Speaker 1 I don't understand because some of you have been in that. Isn't that crazy? Are you in that camp? That's a lie.
No, no, no. I was the opposite.
Okay.

Speaker 1 That I was saying that I don't fart around my friends. Yeah.
But I will fart around a girlfriend.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because I don't understand the ones, though, that do say like, yeah, you know, they're just like, yeah, I don't do that. So it's like, so

Speaker 1 anytime, like, let's say you have a gassy night. Yeah.
You just, you get up 30 times to leave because you might fart or something.

Speaker 3 Or what if you, what if you're peeing?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And then you let out some farts and she can hear if you're in a hotel room, you're sharing a room. I'm going to hear those farts.
Of course. Why are you pretending like it doesn't happen? Of course.

Speaker 1 I mean, I have been with like a girl who I'm like, I probably shouldn't shouldn't do it with this one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so then you kind of hide them.
You're just, oh, you know, in the fucking, in the bathroom. It doesn't work.
It works. It doesn't work.
It works. We know what you're doing.

Speaker 3 She didn't know. She was stupid.
Stupid bitch.

Speaker 3 Dumb broad.

Speaker 1 She didn't know.

Speaker 1 Smells so weird now.

Speaker 3 But could you imagine? Like, you guys go out to dinner, you're laying in bed watching TV, and then you're like, excuse me, I have to.

Speaker 1 Excuse me. Got to wash my face again.
I'm going to go brush my teeth now. I forgot to floss.
Wait,

Speaker 1 have you ever held it in like in the beginning, though? Yeah. Like you did.

Speaker 1 A week, maybe.

Speaker 1 I feel like

Speaker 1 those farts, when you finally release.

Speaker 1 Incredible farts. It's insane.
Yeah. It's like a bomb goes off.
Yeah. The whole house shifts.

Speaker 3 But imagine being in a relationship, a marriage, where that's the norm. That's what you do all the time.
You're holding in farts all the time. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And then you're just waiting until you're in the bathroom to rip.

Speaker 3 I can't imagine. My stepmom would hold in her farts.
My second one. Sorry.
I don't know. I'm on my fourth one.
My second one.

Speaker 1 Second one.

Speaker 3 Because my dad would rip them. He didn't care.

Speaker 1 He didn't give a shit.

Speaker 3 But if she never tooted it, she was very ladylike.

Speaker 1 And if he fired in front of her, he was like, so what?

Speaker 3 Yeah, she would pretend like, oh, no, it's so gross. And then he would laugh.
I would laugh. And that's the funny thing.

Speaker 1 But she wouldn't do it in front of him.

Speaker 3 Never in a gazillion years. I don't think he would allow that.
Yeah. As a man, I don't think he would allow it.
He let me do it because I'm his daughter.

Speaker 1 But he would have shown that he's trying to bang or is banging? No way.

Speaker 3 No fucking way. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No fucking way. Like, get the fuck out today.
Yeah. Right now.

Speaker 3 That's such a double standard, though.

Speaker 1 Of course it is. Yeah, it's insane.

Speaker 3 You wouldn't forbid me from farting, would you?

Speaker 1 Could I even attempt to do something like that?

Speaker 3 I would be devastating.

Speaker 1 I'd be like saying you're not allowed to breathe around here.

Speaker 1 There's no chance. Devastating, man.

Speaker 1 Speaking of reality shows, this one popped up on my feed. I didn't remember this show, but this story was pretty incredible, and I want to show it to you.
It's from a reality show back in the day.

Speaker 7 In 2006, there was a show on FX where two families swapped races, produced by IceCube. So for six weeks, they had a black family become white and a white family become black.

Speaker 7 And then all six of them lived in a house together. The show had two purposes.
One is to see what the world would be like if you had a different skin color.

Speaker 7 The other objective, which is the most bizarre part of the show, is to see if you would pass as the other race.

Speaker 7 Like this white girl who is trying to pass as black is given a black chaperone who shows her like how to be black, like how to get a black boyfriend.

Speaker 7 The black family who becomes white, you can tell that they just think it's ridiculous. Like when they see each other, they're like, why do we all look like Teddy Perkins?

Speaker 7 But then when the white family sees each other in blackface for the first time, they're like so turned on.

Speaker 7 It's nice.

Speaker 7 I love black.

Speaker 8 I mean, visually and somehow heart-wise, there's that warmth.

Speaker 8 Thank you.

Speaker 8 You look like a really nice man.

Speaker 8 Oh, my God.

Speaker 7 The black dad who's in whiteface goes to a golfing range to see if they'll think he's white. And he's like, hello, whites.
Love those clubs. Where'd you get them?

Speaker 7 And they're like, why do you look like Jeffrey Dahmer with the media? And the white girl with the black chaperone has to see if she'll pass by writing and performing slam poetry. Oh.

Speaker 7 I really love words. I do.
And, like, to me, you can never have enough adjectives.

Speaker 7 Not looking good.

Speaker 3 A ritual so profound. The taste of sex.
The body flushed with hot and sticky fantastic.

Speaker 8 Little weird.

Speaker 7 Why is this white family so hoardy?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, hold on.

Speaker 3 God damn.

Speaker 7 But no one in the show is worse than the white dad, Bruno.

Speaker 7 Hey, nigga.

Speaker 7 This man was dying to say it.

Speaker 1 Oh my god, I couldn't wait.

Speaker 7 So to test if racism exists, Bruno goes to a car dealership in Blackface and he's disappointed because he wanted them to be like, hey, slave, you can't buy a car. And they didn't.

Speaker 7 So he says racism doesn't exist. Then the white family goes in Blackface to sit at a panel with black people to hear their experiences on racism.

Speaker 7 But this is what happens when the facilitator asks if anyone's been called a derogatory name.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I used to work as a doorman at a disco, you know, and if somebody came up intoxicated or didn't have the right dress on, you know, they say, come on, nigga.

Speaker 8 Or I'm going to be a lot more hostile than that. And I just, you know,

Speaker 8 yeah, that's right. I'm a nigga.
You know, it just wouldn't affect me. And that would be the end of the conflict.

Speaker 1 He was dying to use it so much. He used it in a clip thing 30 times.

Speaker 3 Which means, yeah, that's a lot of filming.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can see everyone around him is like, huh.

Speaker 3 Yeah, for them to piece that together, you really got to.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he dropped it a lot.

Speaker 1 I love that he's like, well, the big thing is I really enjoyed the pass that I got by putting this this makeup on.

Speaker 1 That's my big takeaway.

Speaker 3 I mean, look, the one thing I'm wondering is like, is the makeup convincing anybody?

Speaker 1 And how do they, I don't know.

Speaker 3 That part.

Speaker 1 He does not seem convinced. The daughter didn't seem convincing.
No. No.

Speaker 3 The makeup is really my thing.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 they look like. They're white people in blackface is the way it

Speaker 1 comes across to me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Does it look like that to you guys?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Yeah, 100%.
Right? Like you go, oh, this is a white person wearing a costume. Yeah,

Speaker 1 especially the black dude. I think the black dude's the worst.
That's like trying to be a white dude. Yeah, yeah, that looks like the Dave Chappelle skid.
Yeah, it does.

Speaker 1 That's not even close. I mean, I kind of in this image, you know, this is also a heavily photoshopped image.
Like the mom seems kind of passable.

Speaker 3 I mean, the daughter could pass.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it's also like this still image.

Speaker 1 When you saw her actually

Speaker 1 live moving around.

Speaker 3 Oh, man. I'd be so nervous as a white person trying to pass for black.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Amazing.
The kid looks good. Yeah.

Speaker 3 No, they make them look better in this photo than they did on camera.

Speaker 1 The woman just looks like a light-skinned black woman.

Speaker 1 Yeah. 100%.
Yeah,

Speaker 3 that's not a good job.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. That's crazy.
I would be so nervous. I want to see this show.

Speaker 3 I know, I know. Yeah.
Because what if you're like, are you wearing blackface makeup no no what you're talking about my

Speaker 3 about my skin right now oh my god dude wow they were so horny for each other did you see that yeah he's like i love you you're so beautiful

Speaker 3 you seem like a nice man you seem like a nice man that was her flirting

Speaker 1 weird dude i mean we're a production studio why don't we just remake it no do it with the staff it's a really good idea i'll do white face you'll do white face

Speaker 1 hey everybody. Hey, everybody.
Do you have your white voice down? Oh, yeah. Are you fucking kidding me? Hey, guys.

Speaker 3 How's it going?

Speaker 1 A beautiful day we're having. Oh, that's good.
That's really good.

Speaker 3 Can you do a soft?

Speaker 1 Observations about the day. Oh, they love talking chit chat.

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Speaker 1 Humidity, honestly.

Speaker 1 The humidity is really what gets you.

Speaker 1 I got you.

Speaker 1 You got the whole white thing down. Who would you do in Blackface?

Speaker 1 Huh? Who would you put in Blackface? Whoever wants to take the risk.

Speaker 1 No, but I mean, we're going to go all out i'm not like who we'd go all out we would not do just some like like uh tanner you know like we're not just gonna put like like toner would we do it like in soul man would we make them take tanning pills that's no no no i'm saying we would do that we would do the skin tone yeah we would do hair but we would also do prosthetics you know oh yeah make it look but yeah they could have done prosthetics prosthetics to like really convince yeah yeah i mean who knows maybe the makeup's so much better now that they they

Speaker 1 do that back then

Speaker 1 Anybody on the staff really want to

Speaker 1 do a day like that? I'm pretty sure I know one person in here that would. Who's that? Tanner.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Dude, life the opportunity.
Something tells me he would do what the dad did, too.

Speaker 1 What's up?

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Bic-nya. Bic-nya.

Speaker 3 Which one of the girls? That's not gonna.

Speaker 1 Can I pass?

Speaker 1 Oh, you should do it. That's a good idea.
Me? Yeah.

Speaker 3 I can't pretend to be black. I'm the whitest, dorkiest nerd.

Speaker 1 that's why you got to do it you can understand what people have been through oh you know and then after that i'll send you to this place um

Speaker 3 oh yeah that's fun yeah welcome to america

Speaker 3 camera what you thinking

Speaker 3 just so much

Speaker 3 clean access please

Speaker 3 i've always i've always been interested in history and and the history of black people.

Speaker 3 I took Afrocentric classes at U of L.

Speaker 3 My grandma lived at 2821 West Kentucky Street.

Speaker 3 I've read so many books,

Speaker 3 and now I belong to a church that's primarily African American, and I wouldn't be anywhere else.

Speaker 1 Beautiful.

Speaker 3 Thank you.

Speaker 3 I know. You know what it reminded me of when we went to the apartheid museum? Oh, in South Africa.

Speaker 1 And we were like, what?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 everybody's fucked up leaving there.

Speaker 3 Dude, that's exactly what it reminded me of when I found this.

Speaker 1 I was so excited that someone was going to hit her, though. Like, that's a good idea.
Oh, like, start beating her? Yeah, like someone just see a whip just go fucking. She's like, ah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they're like, welcome to America, bitch.

Speaker 3 Get in the fields, bitch. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was nothing.

Speaker 3 No, they need to bitter. I agree.
You know what, Tom? Yeah. You're fucking right.
Can I tell you why the

Speaker 3 apartheid museum was so effective? Yeah. Remember when you check in, they give you a card, and either you're a white mixed or a black.
And you have to go in a separate entrance, colored.

Speaker 3 You have to go in a separate entrance dependent on that. And I was like, oh, that's so fucked up.

Speaker 3 So that's just the beginning.

Speaker 1 Blancs.

Speaker 3 Blancas.

Speaker 3 But anyway, yeah, they should have been beating her and reprimanding her.

Speaker 1 That apartheid museum is unbelievable. Yeah, that's a real bummer, man.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that one really gets the point across.

Speaker 1 Oh my god. Yeah.
Yeah, then we did a show that's it.

Speaker 3 That's where you enter in blancas, non-whites. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you know.

Speaker 3 You know what, though? I do like how she rattles off like her black credibility, though. She's like, my grandma lived on 4522nd Martin Luther King.
I go to a church.

Speaker 1 And I like blacks, I swear. I've always had an interest in blacks.

Speaker 1 And the guy's like, okay, okay. He's like, you pass.
You're a cool one. You're cool.

Speaker 3 I mean, obviously.

Speaker 1 She's so traumatized, this lady.

Speaker 3 But obviously, you're down with black people if you're willing to go through that experience.

Speaker 1 You know, of course.

Speaker 3 But she still has to give her credibility.

Speaker 1 She's carrying a lot with her. A lot of guilt.
Yeah. She's like, is there a reason you feel this way?

Speaker 1 I wasn't that nice in high school.

Speaker 1 Ah,

Speaker 1 big

Speaker 1 So, yeah, here's a change of pace, though. You might like to.

Speaker 1 My name is Christopher Torres, and I took a picture of these ladies behind me. You took a picture of my behind me.
Yes, I did.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. And what are you going to do with that picture?

Speaker 1 I'm not sure. Maybe later on, I'll figure it out.

Speaker 9 Yeah? Okay.

Speaker 1 Awesome. You're going on TikTok.
That's cool. All right.

Speaker 1 I TikTok.

Speaker 9 Oh, I'm creepy because I like beautiful women.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're talking creepy. Don't take pictures of the woman.
Don't think pictures are creepy.

Speaker 3 What do we moment pictures of? You are the problem in the women.

Speaker 1 I'm a problem. Yeah, you're a human being.
You're a problem with a woman? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're not allowed to take pictures of it. I'm not touching your body.

Speaker 1 All right. You're not.
You're not allowed to be bad. All right.
I'll see you on the bottom. All right.
All right.

Speaker 1 That was kind of cool.

Speaker 3 You've been to Saudi Arabia.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 What would happen if he pulled that in Riyadh?

Speaker 1 Took a picture of a beautiful woman?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Depends where he falls in the hierarchy, I think.

Speaker 1 He'd be allowed to if he was a certain, had a certain last name. Sure, sure, sure.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 But that's cool that he's like, what? I can't take a picture of a beautiful lady. Yeah.

Speaker 3 No one's ever taken a picture of my beautiful.

Speaker 1 My name is Christopher Torres. And I took a picture of these ladies behind.
My name is Christopher Torres. Christopher Torres.

Speaker 3 Take a look at those ladies behind. Yeah.
I do love these soda machines that he's using, though. Aren't those the greatest?

Speaker 1 There's all those varieties. Oh my God, you see them in movie theaters.
Yeah. Because you can get diet, cherry, vanilla Coke.

Speaker 3 It's so good. They should have these more places.
It's really good. Where is this fool at that he gets to have that?

Speaker 1 Can you buy one of those?

Speaker 3 Damn. Yeah, can we get one for the office?

Speaker 1 How much are those? That's a thousand dollars. How much is a Coca-Cola freestyle machine?

Speaker 3 God damn. I imagine the maintenance is

Speaker 1 a motherfucker. Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 3 Because all the syrups, all the fucking carbonation you got to put in there.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's no joke. But I do love the amount.

Speaker 1 Coca-Cola freestyle. All right.
$7,100. oh

Speaker 1 8100

Speaker 1 so expensive as a fucking 9100 as a bird even better

Speaker 1 how much are these no prices listed with dang

Speaker 1 20 doesn't give you any find the specs bro

Speaker 3 it is really the maintenance that's going to kill you all yeah yeah yeah they're probably super sensitive and i bet they get broken a lot

Speaker 3 if anybody's listening and services these machines,

Speaker 3 the Coke freestyle machine, will you let us know if the maintenance is a big one?

Speaker 1 This one looks like it's a bid. That's an old ass one.
That's it. That's an old ass.

Speaker 3 That's a bullshit one, too. It's all little and shit.

Speaker 1 You can't find out the fucking thing. They don't fucking...

Speaker 3 Come on, Bikinya. Find it.

Speaker 1 That says a grand. There's no way.

Speaker 3 There's no way.

Speaker 1 It's not a grand.

Speaker 3 That's like a mini one or something.

Speaker 1 This is crazy.

Speaker 3 That's a tiny one. Dude, why can't they make other things like this specific? You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 I'm going to see if I can find it.

Speaker 3 They should make like a popcorn machine that has all the different flaves you could put on there too. Or candy.

Speaker 3 Why don't they have freestyle candy machines?

Speaker 1 The brand new freestyle machine is in the $12,000 to $20,000 range for an outright purchase.

Speaker 1 Some say it can be $15,000 to $20,000. Leasing placement example is $300,000.
for people that just want to lease them.

Speaker 3 Oh, that's probably the smartest way to do it.

Speaker 1 When you see costs, it's not just the machine. You'll likely need to commit to a supply contract with Coca-Cola, installation, plumbing, ice machine capacity, connectivity, ongoing cartridges.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's a nightmare. It's expensive.
Holy shit.

Speaker 1 All right, we'll look into it. Let's try getting one in the lobby.
That sounds like a great idea.

Speaker 1 Such a waste of money.

Speaker 1 Everybody can have special Coca-Colas.

Speaker 3 I mean, if Coke wants to sponsor us and give us the machine.

Speaker 1 We've dealt with the Fortune 500s before. I don't know, dude.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I know.
You want to see something wild? No, I know. Yeah.
So I've somebody who just in the last few years started getting like real dad eyes, right?

Speaker 1 Like my vision is declining by the minute. Okay.

Speaker 1 And so every year

Speaker 1 I get my eyes checked out. Every year they go, they're worse.
And every year they go, you need new prescriptions. And so they take my glasses and I get all new prescriptions.

Speaker 1 So now I wear them almost all the time. You know, I don't wear them on stage or anything, but most of the time I have them on.

Speaker 1 I never had it because I think glasses are so new to me, meaning like I didn't start wearing them at all until I was over 40.

Speaker 1 I've always had this thing where I've just never felt comfortable with contacts. I've never done anything with contacts.

Speaker 1 You know, and I know a lot of people obviously use them, but then I saw this video and it's like, oh, it made me want to not use contacts more. Down?

Speaker 3 I don't like it.

Speaker 3 Can you lift it up a little bit?

Speaker 3 There's a third side contact look down somewhere

Speaker 3 we just removed two and a half contacts. You can see this piece coming out.

Speaker 1 There's more. Dude, this is fuck on the

Speaker 3 record. I don't know.

Speaker 1 There's actually one. Oh, God.

Speaker 3 There's a whole wattle there.

Speaker 1 I can't believe it.

Speaker 3 What is going on?

Speaker 1 They're just all

Speaker 1 right.

Speaker 3 She forgets that she's gonna record patience.

Speaker 1 Oh, God. We're delivering

Speaker 1 She's got seven, eight, nine contacts

Speaker 1 up there.

Speaker 3 You can say that again.

Speaker 1 Is she elderly?

Speaker 3 I think that already counted more than 10 or 12. Oh, come on.
No, I'm serious. She's old.
Yeah, she's old. She's an old lady.

Speaker 3 We're mentally ill.

Speaker 1 The doctor removed a total of 23 contacts.

Speaker 1 Lady would forget to remove contacts before bed, and then they trap between her eyelid and eye. 23 just up there.

Speaker 3 I'm surprised she can still see without the infection raging through there, bro. That's like my worst nightmare.
That's why I will never fuck with contacts.

Speaker 3 I just, I know to touching your eye at night to get that thing out. And then, what if you forget, or what if you don't wash it? You put your fucking finger in your eye two times a day at least.
Crazy.

Speaker 3 Fuck that. You know what I wouldn't even fuck with either is that LASIK shit.
I know it's supposed to fix your shit.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 3 But like, bro, they screw that up.

Speaker 1 They have.

Speaker 3 And they have. I've seen like pieces of documentaries on TikTok or whatever about people like fucked up LASIC.
Yeah. That's it, dude.
That's it. It's your eyes.
You're done.

Speaker 1 You're done driving. You're done seeing.

Speaker 1 My friend was kind of allergic to whatever medication they use for LASIC surgery, and he was blind for two weeks.

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 1 Straight up blind. What do you mean?

Speaker 1 Will you Google what are the possible negative outcomes? What are you doing?

Speaker 1 Allergic type of aunt did it, and she can't drive at night now. Who? I have an aunt, and she got LASIC like years ago, and now she can't drive at night ever.
That's cool.

Speaker 1 Let's see what the results say here.

Speaker 1 All right, negative outcomes. Very common dry eyes.
It can reduce tear production.

Speaker 1 This can occur visual disturbances, glare, halo, starbursts, double vision.

Speaker 3 That's fun.

Speaker 1 Some people just experience difficulty driving at night.

Speaker 1 Undercorrection or overcorrection, you still might need glasses or contacts. Sometimes a second procedure is required.

Speaker 1 Flap complications removes a creating a corneal flap. If it heals poorly, it can lead to infection, result in wrinkles or displacement of the flap.

Speaker 1 Regression, eyes can gradually shift back toward your original prescription. Oh, no.
What? Corneal

Speaker 1 ectasia, rare but serious. Cornea becomes weakened, begins to bulge.
May require specialty contacts or a corneal transplant. Inflammation or infection, risk is low, but it can happen.

Speaker 1 Loss of visual sharpness, a contrast sensitivity. Some people notice that while they have 20-20 vision, things appear fuzzier.
Oh, God, could you imagine? Eye pain or discomfort.

Speaker 3 Jesus. You pay for that, you go through it, and then this shit happens.

Speaker 1 Here's the less common rare outcomes. This is what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 Photophobia, light sensitivity, problems with eye tracking,

Speaker 1 incomplete correction in people with high prescriptions or thin corneas.

Speaker 1 Some patients report depression or anxiety after the complications. And

Speaker 1 you have higher risk if you have dry eyes already, you have a thin cornea, you have high myopia or high hyperopia, you have an autoimmune condition.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No way.
I don't know. I'm like you.

Speaker 1 I don't want to.

Speaker 3 I'd rather wear glasses. But I will say I'm pissed that you like this particular frame because that's

Speaker 1 my frame.

Speaker 3 I know. And now I can't wear mine that are identical because then we look like dorks.
So I have to find clever,

Speaker 3 like weirder ones. And this doesn't look as good.
I like mine that look like that. I understand.
You understand?

Speaker 3 You don't understand. Why don't you

Speaker 3 get some different shits, dude? Yeah. You know, you should get tiny ones, like real tiny, thin, tiny ones.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Wire. Wire looks cool.

Speaker 1 You know, I think the all-time, I mean, this is debatable, but greatest find that this show ever came up with is.

Speaker 5 What's up there, Chomo?

Speaker 1 I mean, right? And we're always wondering, is his spirit alive?

Speaker 1 Is he still with with us you know you look for signs he is things in the universe let me see where is he little things that happen and you go he's still there he's here with us and sometimes we're told that we somebody has discovered a new version of him he's reincarnated yeah reincarnated it's his son or somebody so here's somebody who is accosting people that are minding their business and therefore our buddy Herc comes to mind so let's just see where this guy goes

Speaker 9 check these bitch cowards out. Bitch ass fucking cowards.
Check these people out.

Speaker 9 You fucking bitch ass motherfuckers. Fuck you.

Speaker 1 He's like, what?

Speaker 3 What did you say?

Speaker 3 Oh, hell no. It's in the South, bro.

Speaker 9 Are you a transgender person

Speaker 9 on the right? You look transgender

Speaker 3 with that hairstyle.

Speaker 9 What? You look transgender. Are you a man or female? I can't even tell the difference this day and age.
You can't even tell the difference.

Speaker 1 Isn't that cool?

Speaker 9 just people doing their own thing sitting on their porch are you a male or female i i can't even tell the difference teenagers

Speaker 9 kids like you can't even tell the difference this day and age you know who's a male who or who's actually yeah we got it maybe you're transgender he's not transgender

Speaker 1 so that person right there that person right there

Speaker 9 um supposedly is part of the cult of psychology we still got to further uh uh verify that um he likes to call in make baseless reports That's what he likes to do.

Speaker 9 And he cheated. Yeah, he cheated.
Supposedly.

Speaker 1 Supposedly.

Speaker 9 This is what I was told from a third party. He cheated at his swimming competitions.
He took things that he's not even supposed to be taking during his swimming competitions, supposedly.

Speaker 1 Supposedly.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 9 Just like last winter, I have a video of him supposedly doing drugs. I don't know if that was drugs, but it definitely looked like it.

Speaker 1 Supposedly.

Speaker 9 You should handle your own problems. You should handle your own problems.
Be a fucking grown-ass man. You act like a fucking girl.
All of you act like fucking girls.

Speaker 9 I've had somebody try to murder me with a car, and you don't see me act like y'all. Y'all are a bunch of pussies.
Y'all are a bunch of weak ass fucking females. That's exactly what y'all are.

Speaker 9 Y'all are weak ass females. Y'all are not men.
Y'all are fucking females.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'll say this. Guy's got a lot of potential.
Do we know anything more about him? Because I'm really feeling his style. He's great.

Speaker 1 That's him. I discovered discovered this man.

Speaker 1 He's the best. Sigma.

Speaker 1 Sigma Chi audits. Oh, he's just going after Sigma Chi's?

Speaker 1 Mainly.

Speaker 3 And Scientology, I think.

Speaker 1 That's such a cool lane. Yeah.
Wow. It's also the police that defend Sigma Chi.
Oh, wow. So these are all Sigma Chai guys that he's exposing.
Yeah. Look at followed by.
Bro.

Speaker 1 Okay, start in the first one. Go to the first pin thing there.

Speaker 1 I just graduated. Can we

Speaker 1 walk away from the middle of the middle of my case?

Speaker 1 And then just click the right arrow. Let's go to the next thing.

Speaker 13 This is my first ever interaction with Sigma Cheetology fraternity.

Speaker 13 I was auditing the street vendor and giving them compliments about their food when two minutes later, a communist Hispanic guy and Oriental crackpot security guard from Sigma Chi came over and barked orders.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, this guy has a lot of the same

Speaker 1 DNA.

Speaker 9 This is a public sidewalk

Speaker 9 to go on the public sidewalk. This is a public sidewalk just

Speaker 9 to stand on a public sidewalk and film whatever I can film on the public sidewalk

Speaker 14 or something

Speaker 9 None of your business. This is a public sidewalk.
I have every right to stand on the public sidewalk

Speaker 9 and exercise my First Amendment right

Speaker 9 You don't tell me what to do

Speaker 3 You don't tell me

Speaker 1 exactly wow all right close that but you know what's really special what is that we're getting

Speaker 5 I would like to thank

Speaker 4 a great police chief and a great sheriff.

Speaker 3 Go ahead. Is that we're getting this guy young.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we can see him evolve into this. Right.

Speaker 3 Yes. Because Herc, we caught him at the end of his career of menacing.

Speaker 3 And this kid, what's his name? He's young.

Speaker 1 He's the audit. He's the auditor.
The auditor. Can you scroll down?

Speaker 3 This is great.

Speaker 1 Do you ever see him?

Speaker 3 I know. I've got to see what he looks like.

Speaker 1 Is that a woman there that he's accosting?

Speaker 3 Please let it it be a woman.

Speaker 9 Report real news. Why do you have to report fake news? Why don't you talk about how they have 50% of the budget? Why don't you ever talk about that?

Speaker 1 Same look he would get. Same voice.

Speaker 1 Don't pop it. Don't worry.

Speaker 1 Get out of here.

Speaker 9 Get out of my name.

Speaker 9 Report real news. Why do you have to report it?

Speaker 1 Dude, that even fucking sounds like him. That was insane.

Speaker 3 I know that real ragged, hard voice. Hey, son, listen here.

Speaker 14 I have a thing.

Speaker 9 A trooper broke the law yesterday in Oklahoma

Speaker 9 and said that stamping a baby stamp on someone's face is a rape charge.

Speaker 1 You did.

Speaker 1 What? What?

Speaker 1 I'm giving somebody the stamp.

Speaker 3 What? Huh?

Speaker 1 The stamp?

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 3 Do it, Tom. Do the porno.
What?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 What? You guys get over here and suck my dicks. There you go.
Is that what he says?

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 3 Dude, this guy is awesome. This guy's great.
Good finding.

Speaker 1 Quit, quick, quit. It's just a little ride down memory lane.

Speaker 3 It brings back such good time.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Poor dog.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit, dude.

Speaker 1 Fuck. Fuck.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like your brain on fire.
God damn it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 3 By the way.

Speaker 3 Are you done?

Speaker 3 Well, I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 Let's get the giggles out first, psycho.

Speaker 3 Tim,

Speaker 3 you know how hard it is to pull a tooth out.

Speaker 1 That's a lot. The roots

Speaker 1 that just took.

Speaker 3 So he's not feeling it. So the amount of meth you've got to be on to not feel it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Because I've seen Hungarian dudes do this on the internet.

Speaker 1 Vodka.

Speaker 3 But they're drunk as shit. He doesn't look drunk, dude.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fuck. That was really something, man.

Speaker 3 He's got like nice art on his ceiling. Yeah.
The girl with the pearl earring or something on there.

Speaker 1 Shit.

Speaker 3 That was awesome.

Speaker 1 Remember when he's like, oh, like a skinny woman, 112 pounds? Yeah.

Speaker 3 I can't wait for the Sigma Chai guy.

Speaker 1 To start getting horny. Yeah.
Yeah. Me too.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Because right now he's just in his,

Speaker 3 I'm menacing the other guys, which is bold because five of those Sigma Chai guys could beat his ass.

Speaker 1 They have really good dispositions, though. They were all kind of like, even the guys, the guy's like, can we not? I just graduated.

Speaker 1 They're so sweet. Did you just move along? I found one of the rare videos where you see a little bit of him.
That's him in the beginning right now. That's him right there.

Speaker 3 So they know him.

Speaker 1 They're like, here's fucking Travis.

Speaker 1 That's a

Speaker 1 good question.

Speaker 3 He's going to sir.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 9 You're being video recorded, too.

Speaker 13 Yeah, whatever.

Speaker 1 You don't see him again, but that's it. He goes around wearing the fucking.
So this is the cops POV? Yeah. Oh.
This is a body cam. So it's showing him recording everybody else.
Wow.

Speaker 1 University of Wisconsin of Washington. So he's up there.
Okay. I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 It's Washington. Sorry.

Speaker 1 In the Seattle. So that's him, huh?

Speaker 3 Oh, that's in Meat Rattle.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Oh, I thought they were in the South.

Speaker 1 They had a little y'all there.

Speaker 1 Well, I think those first ones were in UCLA. I said it.
I mean, the kid in the UCLA shirt. So that could have been like those Westwood frat houses, right? Yes, yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah, like Herc, he's all over the place. Yeah,

Speaker 1 he's wherever the chariots go, right? Exactly. Looking for white chariots, man.

Speaker 1 Wow. Thank God.
I mean, that is the spirit of Herc out there, for sure. For sure, yeah.
I believe in reincarnation. I love the newscaster's face.
She's like, fuck out of here.

Speaker 1 Another crazy person.

Speaker 1 Ruining my thing. This fucking guy.
Look at her. Look at her.

Speaker 3 She's so over this shit. She's like, I have to fucking do the story

Speaker 3 on the frat house. It's bad enough.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Crazy that he didn't hit the old lady back.
That's the part where you're like, come on, man. Be yourself.
You think so? Yeah. She came at him.
Like, she came at him aggressively.

Speaker 1 But would Herc hit a woman? Oh, just like a Sigma Kai with a chip.

Speaker 3 He got 390 likes.

Speaker 1 This is crazy.

Speaker 3 That's it?

Speaker 1 That's it. That's all he does.
Just manages. Just lets them know I'm recording you.
And if anyone ever wears long socks,

Speaker 1 that's his big thing.

Speaker 1 What does he say about that? He's just like, why are you wearing long socks? That's fucking stupid. You're stupid.
Okay. That's pretty great.
Ankle socks only for this guy.

Speaker 1 This is a really cool channel. I can't believe you guys.
Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 Heavy breathing going up to the really fucking late night food market. Oh, and also going towards cops.
Oh, yeah, yeah. That's another hurt.
That's meth.

Speaker 3 That's meth. Yeah.
That's what Dr. Drew always told us.

Speaker 1 Yep. I'm telling you, man.
I found this.

Speaker 9 And then they claim they don't have enough officers.

Speaker 1 Shit.

Speaker 9 Oh, I remember that

Speaker 9 bitch right there in the fucking men. I remember her.
You fucking ugly ass bitch.

Speaker 9 I remember you.

Speaker 9 What?

Speaker 9 Who do you think you are? Let me figure out who the hell you are. And I'll ruin your fucking life.
Let me get your fucking plate.

Speaker 9 California or Montana.

Speaker 9 C0P L V, I'm going to run your fucking plate. I'm going to get all your information.
I'm going to get posters.

Speaker 1 Who her?

Speaker 9 Who the hell do you think you are?

Speaker 1 This is awesome. This is one of the greatest days.
Learn about me.

Speaker 9 You will fucking learn about me. Who the hell do you think you are? You will fucking learn about me.

Speaker 3 I like how the cops aren't stopping you.

Speaker 9 Who the hell do you think you are?

Speaker 3 All they have to do is go, sir, fuck off.

Speaker 9 You know, bitch, who the fuck do you think you are?

Speaker 9 Let me get a good picture of your face.

Speaker 1 I'll run you through facial wreck.

Speaker 9 Run you through facial wreck.

Speaker 1 Sweet.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's just a nice kid.
Yeah, he's like, God bless you. It's one of his classic threats.
He says he's going to run you through facial wreck.

Speaker 1 And he's going to find all your information and he's gonna post you online and expose you. That's cool.
So cool.

Speaker 1 Please keep a close eye on this guy. Oh.

Speaker 1 Also, another anger guy, different scenario, though.

Speaker 15 Right, they're fucking just shotting in your mouth for a second. So we can just have a video without you screaming in the back.

Speaker 3 Thank you.

Speaker 9 Hey, suck my fucking dick.

Speaker 3 Hey, let's be respectful.

Speaker 15 Shot your fucking dick.

Speaker 9 Hey, suck my fucking dick, you bitch.

Speaker 1 Fuck you, you bitch.

Speaker 1 You're just gators. Fucking bitch, fuck you.
What is wrong with you? Fuck you, you

Speaker 1 bitch.

Speaker 9 Show me your titties, you dumb fucking bitch. I'm on a boat.
What the fuck are you gonna do? I'm fucking free, bitch.

Speaker 9 I'm free. You disrespect me, you

Speaker 1 bitch.

Speaker 9 Yeah, fuck you. Shut the fuck up and look the other way, you bitch.

Speaker 1 She's coming. You fucking dumb

Speaker 1 bitch.

Speaker 3 Like, who is videoing the?

Speaker 3 This guy's trying to video the croc and then or whatever. I always get it makes sense.

Speaker 1 Yeah, bitch!

Speaker 9 Yeah, you

Speaker 9 dumb bitch!

Speaker 9 You know who the fuck you're talking to right now?

Speaker 1 Sharing a boat with this fucking guy?

Speaker 3 I would be so upset. Right now?

Speaker 1 You know who the fuck you're talking to right now?

Speaker 2 I'm done now.

Speaker 9 I'll leave the hostel. You think I'm going to get disrespected? Because I want to stay at some goddamn hostel from some dumb bitch

Speaker 9 i'm the fucking king of this boat i'm the biggest

Speaker 9 thing on this boat i'll take all nine of you bitches

Speaker 1 for that fucking dumb book right there

Speaker 9 who the fuck you think you're goddamn talking to you dumb

Speaker 1 bitch

Speaker 1 i'm fucking pushing you dumb bitch

Speaker 3 aren't you yeah i'm dumb sorry about that god bless you push him in the fucking

Speaker 3 bitch what do you do in that I don't know. What do you fucking do? The guy's throwing beer cans at your head.

Speaker 1 The cool thing would be to somebody would hit him into the water.

Speaker 3 That would be the best.

Speaker 1 That would have been the sweetest moment of this video. If somebody just fucking hits him and then he goes off and then a gator comes in.
They're like, oh, chomps him up. It's going.
Because I.

Speaker 3 If reincarnation is real, I might go out that way.

Speaker 1 Pushing this off a boat.

Speaker 3 Him falling, getting eaten by a gator. I might go to jail.
I might kill myself in jail.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Whatever. It'd be worth it.
It's fine. To do that guy in for being a bitch like this.
Scaring women and stuff.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's an asshole. I mean, that's, yeah, that's.
And it looks like they're abroad somewhere, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Where is this?

Speaker 1 Like, does it say where is it? In Australia? No.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Yeah, we don't have it, but not America.

Speaker 3 Definitely, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 3 that's cool how Americans act when they're abroad. It's always nice.

Speaker 1 Yeah, until they got tagged with crazy American has breakdown.

Speaker 1 And there's nobody down there actually. Does it does the name him? Does it actually, do they figure it out, you know?

Speaker 1 Somebody.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 3 But it says crazy American, so yeah, foreign.

Speaker 1 I just mean that his bio said Florida. Oh,

Speaker 1 right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Scroll down just to see if anything else jumps out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like we know his name is John. Yeah, got it

Speaker 1 Um, yeah, see?

Speaker 1 Push him, though.

Speaker 3 It would be attempted murder, but it would be worth it.

Speaker 3 This infuriated me. Yeah, it sucks.
Find him.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't think it's that Nick guy, though.

Speaker 1 That's pretty wild, bro. That's really crazy.
He really lost his shit. Very exciting.

Speaker 1 Alright, Gene, it's time to go through what you've been pulling for us. So, here.

Speaker 1 He.

Speaker 1 Where is he?

Speaker 1 Jack.

Speaker 1 There we go.

Speaker 3 I heard you bitches were looking for me.

Speaker 1 All right. So here's what you've been pulling.
And

Speaker 1 hopefully, it's going to be a nice ride. Right? That's all I know.
Come on.

Speaker 1 That's fun. Those are fun.

Speaker 3 This is... This should have been in last week's episode, but Halloween.

Speaker 3 This is in Baltimore.

Speaker 1 It's a good prank.

Speaker 3 For those listening, it's a guy in a Michael Myers mask pulling up next to people in traffic.

Speaker 1 That's really fun.

Speaker 3 Oh, that guy's so high. He was okay.

Speaker 1 It's so funny, dude.

Speaker 1 That's great. That's so funny.
That's really fun. That's pure, simple fun.
Yeah, it's a good one. That's really good.
And then he also has like the mega horn. Yeah.
Like the horn blaster thing.

Speaker 3 So people are more scared i might do this with the kids that's fun in the car they would love they would love this prank

Speaker 1 they wouldn't like it done to them but they would love to watch this yeah i might do this this is too fun

Speaker 9 you know what's crazy

Speaker 9 i outlived ozzie

Speaker 9 i outlived hulk logan

Speaker 14 i outlived my cho man randy savage jesus i may be homeless but i'm alive

Speaker 1 oh that one actually made me happy that's a really good perspective yeah Yeah. And he's probably done a lot of drugs.

Speaker 3 So many. Look at his poor little face.
Yeah. But I like that he's out in the sunshine riding his bicycle.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he said I might be harmless, but I'm still alive. I love life.

Speaker 3 It's pretty cool. Very life-affirming.

Speaker 1 I'm not usually like that, but that's yeah, very strange departure for you. But yes, I like that one.
Yeah. Good, good job.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 Where's the next fucking one, Tom? No. I've been hanging out with this dude

Speaker 1 for a little little while.

Speaker 14 Didn't know he was freaking married, first of all.

Speaker 14 Many have been fooling around and shit.

Speaker 14 My pussy broke out in a fucking rash that was fucking something serious.

Speaker 14 So I went to the fucking urgent care.

Speaker 1 Told him what was going on.

Speaker 14 So they

Speaker 14 made me pee in a cup, took it, run some tests.

Speaker 14 I thought it was something serious. They run some tests on me and everything.
It turns out it's just a bacteria infection. So they gave me some medicine.
Everything's going to be fine.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it should not be fine. Has a happy ending.

Speaker 1 Fuck. Any would you?

Speaker 1 My fucking god.

Speaker 3 On your most desperate, your darkest hour.

Speaker 1 Bro,

Speaker 1 you could, I'd rather, honestly, I'd be gay before this. Holy shit.

Speaker 1 Wow, that's a YMH exclusive. Where's the sound effects for that?

Speaker 1 Everything else after this. Wow.

Speaker 3 Honest. Cats eating chips in the wood.

Speaker 5 This is a YMH exclusive.

Speaker 3 I never.

Speaker 1 And he's now gay.

Speaker 3 You heard it here first.

Speaker 1 Holy shit. So that's how bad this is.
This is the worst thing you've ever seen in your life. Literally in my head, I was just thinking, who the fuck smashed this? Who?

Speaker 3 Who did that?

Speaker 1 There's no way, man. And why? This is also to what I also, you know, I'm sorry.
I just have to say this. There's young men out there, some even not so young, that are frustrated.
I can't get late.

Speaker 1 I can't get late. I just want to get, you can get late.
You can get late.

Speaker 1 There's someone out there that'll fuck you. you, you're just not putting yourself in enough situations.

Speaker 3 It's a numbers game, but also, remember, last episode with Ryan, we were asking who is having sex with the pudding guy, yeah.

Speaker 3 I'm thinking the love match here.

Speaker 1 I think she might see the pudding guy and go,

Speaker 3 I'm connecting some dots, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 you like that, baby,

Speaker 1 dirty tongue, orange,

Speaker 3 yeah, she would, though. She's nasty as hell.
She liked that.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 3 It was, but it's just a bacterial infection. It's fine.
It's fine. You just take some drugs.

Speaker 1 We're all good now. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Stupid.

Speaker 9 Whoa. Damn, motherfucking, yeah.

Speaker 1 Damn, bro.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. That's the sh.

Speaker 1 I just like those. Dude, that was badass.

Speaker 1 That was kind of wrong, right? That's a good roll. He did a good front roll.
Yeah. Yeah, dude.
He threw his shoulder down the way you're supposed to.

Speaker 3 That's a jiu-jitsu.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he didn't land on his head or neck. It was perfectly executed.
Big man could do it right. Yeah, dude.

Speaker 3 This guy fucking crushed.

Speaker 1 He kind of crazy enough. He kind of looks like her.
All right, here's the next one.

Speaker 16 Hey, you guys know when you guys catch a cool little buzz and then you got the munches for you about to eat some food. I'm about to eat some food right now.
I caught her cool little buzz, you know?

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I fucking love her so much.

Speaker 1 I miss LA.

Speaker 1 I want you obsessed with me.

Speaker 3 I love her. I miss LA just for for this.
So great. I fucking love Chola's, dude.

Speaker 1 Fool.

Speaker 1 Nope.

Speaker 1 I forgot about this guy. It's crazy because this is who people should fear the most.

Speaker 1 Easily.

Speaker 1 We still haven't had a blink yet.

Speaker 3 Or a purpose to the talk.

Speaker 1 That was 15 seconds, no blink, just dolls that had the same expression that he has.

Speaker 3 Don't you think that the FBI should just go through TikTok and find these accounts? You don't think they're aware of him?

Speaker 1 Straight in. I'm sure they have a whole fucking file on this.

Speaker 3 I would hope so. Just bang the door down.
Just find the bodies. Find the bodies.

Speaker 3 Find the bodies. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. He's got women that look like that in his house.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Imagine the breath on that mouth.

Speaker 5 We've been married 13 years.

Speaker 5 In two and a half months, I want to be a hundred years old.

Speaker 1 She's a lovely wife.

Speaker 5 I've never seen a more beautiful woman in my life than this one.

Speaker 5 I never walked up to a strange woman in my life.

Speaker 1 Sure.

Speaker 5 And I was backstage at the Emmys, I guess.

Speaker 5 Sag Awards. I was just waiting to go out.

Speaker 1 She walked by without even thinking.

Speaker 5 I jumped up and said, hi, I'm Dick.

Speaker 5 And I found out she was a makeup lady, hired her, and now we've been married 13 years and I couldn't be happier. Happy birthday, sweetheart.

Speaker 3 Thank you. Thank you for coming to my birthday party.

Speaker 3 They brought me a cake.

Speaker 3 You want to sing happy birthday to me again?

Speaker 1 Happy birthday. Okay.

Speaker 3 Thank you for coming to my birthday party. You're married, dummy.
I know.

Speaker 1 You don't think he's going to come to your birthday party that means they met when he was 86

Speaker 1 yeah and she was 41 right

Speaker 1 so imagine you basically meeting an 86 year old who's like hello

Speaker 1 hey i noticed your lipstick

Speaker 3 and that's why she but she was going how old are you 80 what well she also didn't have to go how old are you she looked at him she was like oh here's a guy on death store of course 86 of course she's like oh dude i I have to put in maybe a handful of BGs, BJs.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he's gonna be out of here in no time.

Speaker 1 He's got tops. She was probably thinking like two years.

Speaker 3 Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 You know, and now, like, he's like, Now I turn 100.

Speaker 1 She's like, That's great. Are you happy you're here at the party?

Speaker 1 Do you want to sing again?

Speaker 1 Birthday

Speaker 1 to you.

Speaker 1 This poor woman. Holy fuck.
She could have

Speaker 3 who's uncle at the top and auntie at the bottom is this.

Speaker 1 Shit. God damn.
Don't get called booty.

Speaker 1 You like that one? That was great. Who's uncle at the top? Who's an auntie on the bottom? Auntie on the bottom.

Speaker 1 That's crazy, bro.

Speaker 17 This is a message for the FBI.

Speaker 1 I am no longer at my house.

Speaker 17 I am no longer occupying my domicile. You will not find me.
I am loose. I have all my devices with me.

Speaker 1 Good to know. Good to know.

Speaker 3 But, like,

Speaker 3 I mean, I guess if the FBI is checking your TikTok account, that works.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if the FBI is like, hey, did we see what Chuck's up to today?

Speaker 1 He's not home anymore. And he's got all his devices.

Speaker 3 Yeah. But just, Chuck, just so you know, I reposted this as a story on my Instagram.

Speaker 1 And you tagged the FBI, right? Of course. Yeah, of course.

Speaker 3 Of course. That's who I want on me is the FBI.

Speaker 1 Feds, check them out. That's who I want.
Here we go.

Speaker 1 Here you go.

Speaker 3 What made you think that was a good shirt to wear to court this morning?

Speaker 3 That's all you can find. The only shirt you had in your closet.
World's best farter.

Speaker 3 That's great.

Speaker 3 No, it says, I can read it. I see what it says at the bottom.

Speaker 3 You're in felony court. You need to dress appropriately to felony court, and that's not appropriate.

Speaker 3 No, no, I saw what it says.

Speaker 1 It says, I mean father. There's also like a direct correlation between how you end up in felony court and what you think you should wear to court, you know?

Speaker 1 Like there's a reason you're there and you're probably like, what?

Speaker 3 Yeah, there's a disconnect in logic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was just, I mean, shit, oh man.

Speaker 1 Like, really? You never stopped for a blink of an eye in the mirror and thought you were wearing your fart shirt to fucking felony court?

Speaker 1 All right. Cool, man.
Could you imagine?

Speaker 3 Isn't there a law against that? Like showing up disrespectfully in front of

Speaker 1 you, it's not a law.

Speaker 3 You should be penalized for not dressing appropriately in court.

Speaker 1 You get penalized by the judge's discretion. So the judge feels like it is a complete insult to her and her court.
So she's going to dress them down, which is what she's doing.

Speaker 1 This reminds me of the guy. Remember the guy who was like, oh, sorry, Your Honor.
He was doing the video one. Oh, yeah.
And he's like, hey,

Speaker 1 you have a failure to appear and you have a revoked license. Are you driving right now? And the guy's like,

Speaker 1 I just parked. He's like, yeah, you can't drive.
He's like,

Speaker 1 you see his shoulders drop.

Speaker 5 He's like, shit.

Speaker 1 He just forgot. He forgot.
He forgot.

Speaker 3 It can happen. You get convicted of a thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, his was

Speaker 1 felony court, but this is wild. This dude might be, you know, this could be a serious crime.
Oh, for sure. I wore my fart shirt.

Speaker 1 Stand Stand before the judge today.

Speaker 3 Well, I think they should fine you for showing up in court like this, and they should fine you on airplanes for showing up in your fucking pajamas.

Speaker 1 What kind of fines are you talking about?

Speaker 3 Something small, 100 bucks.

Speaker 3 If you show up in your fucking pajamas and

Speaker 3 slip slips, you should either got to go home and change and wear normal clothes or you got to put it on.

Speaker 1 Flight clothing is appalling.

Speaker 3 Get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 3 You can put on pants, dude. I know.
I know. You don't need to wear a bikini on the fucking podcast.

Speaker 1 Oh, this was fun, but we got to wrap. We got a gas.

Speaker 1 We still have a full day. I know.

Speaker 1 This was a lot of fun.

Speaker 3 I love you, and I don't love your glasses. I wish you would choose different frames so I can go back to wearing mine that are like that.

Speaker 1 You got cool Neil Brennan's on today.

Speaker 3 Don't fuck. See, this is the problem.

Speaker 3 I want my old glasses back. It's my look, and you stole it.
It's my look. Everybody knows I wore those before you did.

Speaker 3 Fucking. And I can't find a pair that I like as much.

Speaker 1 Just have to deal with it, bro.

Speaker 1 Shout out to Diabetes Barbie and thank you all for

Speaker 1 a beautiful moment. It was a beautiful moment.

Speaker 1 And yeah, we'll see you out there soon.

Speaker 1 What is this? This comes out.

Speaker 3 November 5th.

Speaker 1 In a few days, in a week, I'll be shooting my Netflix special. If you're in the Milwaukee area,

Speaker 1 the Saturday shows are sold out, but I think there's still tickets for the Friday show if you want to come. And Milk Donkey.
It's Milk Donkey, and it's going to be on Netflix.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 3 Find my new lipstick. I love you.
Bye.

Speaker 1 See you next time.

Speaker 1 and dielectric.

Speaker 1 The vocal fire.

Speaker 1 The vocal fire. Vocal pride is everywhere.

Speaker 1 Speech pathologists call it a disorder.

Speaker 1 Disorder.

Speaker 1 Disorder. Disorder.

Speaker 1 Disorder.

Speaker 1 Disorder.

Speaker 1 Disorder.

Speaker 1 Disorder.

Speaker 1 Disorder.

Speaker 1 She's a little vocal fryer.

Speaker 4 As a raider scavenging a derelict world, you settle into an underground settlement.

Speaker 4 But now you must return to the surface,

Speaker 4 where ARC machines roam.

Speaker 1 If you're brave enough, who knows what you might find?

Speaker 4 Arc Raiders, a multiplayer extraction adventure video game. Buy now for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X and S, and PC.
Rated T for team.