Hard For Hot Dads | Your Mom's House Ep. 838

Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.

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Welcome to your mom's house. Hope you had a great holiday week.

You were with your families. If you're an American, if you're not American,

nothing matters anyway. No.
Your life isn't significant. You know what really made me upset is that we're not black.
because Black Thanksgiving, from what I understand, is where it is.

Black Thanksgiving is NBA All-Star Weekend. Is that what you're talking about?

Oh, are you talking about Thanksgiving? Their actual food items, I think. Oh, yes.
Are so much superior because we don't have flavor in our food, which is why I don't enjoy Thanksgiving dinner.

Bland, bland. I never enjoyed Thanksgiving.
Flavorless. I don't like it at all.
Why did the settlers not enjoy seasoning? I don't like turkey. I don't like turkey.
I don't like cranberry sauce.

I don't like fucking

pumpkin pie.

I like the pie.

Don't fuck with it. I don't like it.
But the turkey is dry and

seasoned. Gravy is disgusting.
Luckily, we were at a place that also did like a prime rib. And that was pretty good.
But it's bloody and gross, too. Prime rib doesn't taste like shit either.

I mean, it was pretty good. It was seasoned well.

Wouldn't you say overall that American food is flavorless and bland cardboard much like our english ancestors uh i'd say theirs is more like i mean there's there's seasoned good flavored food here but black people make it not the whites black people do season the out of their food that's true their whole thing is like here's a hundred thousand times the amount of seasoning you think you need yes

because then doesn't that lead to high sodium and then they get the diabetes they get the sugar yeah Yeah. So

there's always got to be a middle ground. There's a middle ground, and it's with Latinos.
Yes. You think, what do they do? Tamale? Yeah.
I mean, I don't know.

Everybody has their own cuisines, but

I mean, if you're talking about real crackers, then like, yeah, their food is bland, right? Yeah. And if you go to like whites, American whites, very.

I don't know if you, but if you go to southern whites, they seem to see it because they're around so many black people. That's a good point.
Yeah.

Now, if you go to West Coast whites, they're mostly influenced by Jews and Mexicans. For instance, where I grew up in LA, Flavor Town, USA.
Flavor Town, yeah. We like to have seasons.
Yeah.

Seasonings and stuff. Yeah.

But here in Texas, I don't know. They like it pretty crackery.
You think so? They like barbecue, which is black adjacent. Yeah, it's black.
But that's flavorful. That's Flavor Town.

You go to the barbecue places, you don't go like there's no seasoning here. No, I like it.
Yeah, it's flavored.

And there's usually like a big honky over the pit master.

Big fucking fat white guy. Whites like to barbecue.
I love it. But I don't like a dry rub.
I like a wet rub. Uh-huh.
Yeah.

Well, you're in the right place. I mean, Texas has a lot of sauces.
Uh-huh. My favorite is Dreamland Barbecue.
That's your favorite? That's my favorite. I like

La Barbecue. La Barbecue.

In Austin. That shit is excellent.
And I also like Terry Black's. Of course.

There's a bunch of good ones, to be honest. But I like that La Barbecue brisket a lot.
It's really good. Can I tell you what's really been making a splash?

Your croissants.

Holy shit. People, I don't think you understand.

I don't think you understand. This isn't like me going, like, oh, I found a business to invest in.

Like, I

made it a mission to bring my favorite pastry to the place that I live. Yeah.
And it meant like hiring people to move states and open a place. They're selling out every day.
Every day.

If you have not been to Chichobamba, it's in the fairground food hall in downtown Austin, which is right on Congress. It's underneath the Wells Fargo building.

And it's a bunch of like little food setups. Bro, this food is outrageous.
This is fresh made, the real deal, authentic Italian pastries. And we have savory stuff too, but we're selling out daily.

Like people are messaging me. I got here, everything's sold out, which is, it is so exciting.
I know. I'm so excited.

And the posts that I've been seeing on Instagram are that people are like, guys, this is real Italian. It's the real deal.
It's not the horse shit that America feeds you, these bland favorites.

This is real Italian stuff, guys. It is, man.
This guy,

he's fantastic. Giamba is like the, he's.
He is.

He's a real dude who

brought like his recipes from the motherland with him, you know? Like he, he's like a traditional story of like mother cooked a lot and he just got

into it at a young age and then just developed his own skills and passion for it. But that's Gianbo.
It's a family business. It's a legit family.
These are just

family people. Yeah, he's a fiery Italian dude.
Yeah. That's so good.
He's great. He's great.
Yeah. And yeah, he makes amazing food.
The sweet stuff is,

again, you know, it's such a treat. And then he does a bunch of savory stuff.
He's doing homemade focaccia and pizza. And yeah, dude, it's all amazing.
It's ridiculous. Stop by.
Stop by and see us.

We do have a more elaborate fixed location opening after the new year. It's probably going to be, honestly, like in March.
But this pop-up location is going to stay until then at least.

So come by and see us. That's really impressive.
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I'm so,

I gotta say, Tim,

I feel like I'm gonna cry because I'm so impressed with this hour. I'm so

very emotional.

I'm serious.

I feel like we're doing a press junket for Wicked right now. I feel like I'm

so

space open for this. Are you holding space for me? I'm holding space for you.
Yes. No, I am actually emotional because

you talk about more personal stuff. Yeah,

it was a really

fucking

great tour. I have to be like, express how grateful I am for the tour.
Like, it was a great tour.

My crew was fucking awesome. You know, Keir and Matt and Dave, Gary, Sean.

And

I brought a number of people, but a lot of the tour was with Kirk Fox and Jeff Tate, who are two good friends of mine for a long time.

And it was

Jordan. And I brought Jordan a few times too, yeah.
But those guys were on the majority of the dates.

It was just like a really, it was a fun experience. Like I felt like

a varsity comedian in that I figured out how to tour a little more

thoughtfully than before.

And I felt like

that I kept it fun. And then I ended up doing stand-up that I was really happy with, you know? Yeah, and the,

I mean, I don't know if you can cut this out if you want to, but there's stories about our kids. Yeah, yeah.
And I think it was really cool that you got to show that. I got to show them the other day.

I was, I was in the edit and I brought my boys around and I kind of thought about it. I was like, oh, are they going to get like, you know what I mean? Because I've had things that before,

you know, anybody who has kids, you realize that there's things that a kid can grasp and that things that they don't grasp yet, right? Like they're maturing, they're evolving.

So I was like, Are they going to get it if I show them this chunk talking about them? Are they going to be like, hey, what's that all about? And I was just like, no, I think they'll get it.

So I just sat them down and I was like, hey, you understand that like it's a performance, right?

And like, you like, I was kind of explaining like how comedy is always based on exaggerating something, right? It was an exaggeration factor. I'm like, are they going to intellectually grasp that?

And they were like, yeah, yeah. And I got it.
And then I showed it to them and they were fucking howling. And I think it was the most fun I've ever had

showing stand-up to anyone was seeing them because it was talking about them. Yeah.
And he was like, Yeah, it's me, man. Like, yeah, he was really excited.

Because there's some neat things you say about me. There's neat stuff everywhere.
Really cool, but I don't think I'd have the same reaction. You don't have to.
You showed me my bits.

Well, you've seen the bits

backstage, yes. I wouldn't dare go in the audience for those.

Too embarrassing. You've had that experience before.
Oh, have I? Yeah. So, anyway, really special.

And

I think it's fantastic. I'm so happy that they're releasing it on Christmas.
You have something nice to watch with your family. Yeah, it's a fun family watch.

All right. We took forever to open.
I know. What is the last time?

You want to see the opener? Yeah. Let's do it, Joe.
Here we go.

You go.

You guys are all a bunch of fucking losers. I mentioned I like someone.
I really like someone. Yeah.
First time, and I lose three or four followers. You fucking idiots.

You're talking to a man that's been celibate for 17 fucking years.

I got five fucking kids I already raised. Paid child support and everything.

You know, I got two dead fucking wives.

Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone mother into this.

Let's get open.

Welcome to your mom's house

with Tom's story.

Christina Pajitzi. Christina Pajitzi Pajitzi.
Welcome to your meow's house.

For that.

So 80s.

You know what that theme song needs?

What's it need?

A saxophone. Oh, yeah.
This would be tight. Remember in the 80s? Oh, wow.
Yeah.

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In the 80s, you could add a saxophone to any movie and it instantly upped everything. Like in Police Academy, they go to a beach bonfire.
Some guy's playing the saxophone. Yeah, yeah.

It's instantly a party. Lost Boys, there's a band playing.
Saxophone player. Sax is what's up.
St. Elmo's Fire.
What does fucking Rob Lowe play? Yeah, you have these all on fucking lots. Saxophones.

You're thinking about saxophones a lot. Wow.
I mean, no one just pulls out that much sax knowledge unless it's on your mind a lot. You just fucking, you're like, this is what I've been thinking about.

I do. I do a lot.
I do.

Do you think this video needs a saxophone? He needs a lot. I don't understand why he needs two shells around his neck.
I feel like one would have been sufficient.

And it's been 18 fucking years, and I mentioned one person.

And these fucking losers leave. I like his knife hanging on the wall.
Goodbye, you fucking freaks. Yeah.

I'm not far behind.

The social media bullshit is fucking bullshit. Yeah.

Having a lot of fucking day

loser

baby he has a machete on his wall well there's a lot going on there's a lot also the thing is that he made this video which is interesting because i'm kind of deduced what's happening he said he's interested in someone and then he clocked that he lost followers three or four and then he got really upset about that

I wish he could see how my pay driver

his pants. I'd be like, oh, yeah, I said something.
I lost like 5,000 people.

Same.

And I also was like, yeah, that's fine. That's okay.

Yeah, well, these guys are noobs because he's a boomer. He's not really used to it.
And now he's like, I've shared my soul.

He's really tracking the number. Well, he's not.
Exactly, too. He's like,

whatever, 328, and then today it's 353. But he was saying...
22, whatever. But he's saying that he's celibate, right? Like he was not having sex.
Yeah, Yeah, he

said 17 years, which is a long time. Wow.
People in the comments keep calling him Gary Busey, which is totally. What's his, can you go to his page?

There he is. Oh, that's why he knows.
He's got 720, but that's you know, 720 people. It's a lot of people.
Google Daddy is his handle. That's interesting.
What's he saying there?

He looks pretty well adjusted in this one with the seashells.

Good morning.

Should I say afternoon? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
You got to get that time of day right.

Smile.

That's it.

All right. Giving us a tour of his apartment complex.
That's the parking deck. That's kind of cool.

It's dirty. It needs repaving.

That's it?

He's like,

we can get out of this. Sunday.

I haven't figured out where I'm going to put that monster TV. Yeah.
The remote control hasn't come in yet. I can't turn it on without the remote.
True. So fortunately.

Yeah, it's only $10 for this remote. So

unfortunately, I'm going to have to rearrange my whole apartment. Okay.

Well, so.

Hold on, Tom. How's he going to? I mean, it's compelling stuff that he's putting out.
I'm surprised he's had people stick around this long.

I got to tell you, man, the best thing you ever put out was talking to these fucking losers about

leaving, abandoning you. Like feeling that emotion.
I really connected with that video. I connected with that video, but what what I'm connecting with now

is that he's got two frisbees that are still in the packaging. What is he saving the frisbees for? I don't know.
You guys are all a bunch of fucking losers. He loves frisbees, though.

I love frisbees, but what's the point of a frisbee if you're not going to play with frisbees? Maybe he gives them away or something.

I mean, I think they're backups because he's got one out of the package. Right,

fucking day.

You know,

we kind of glossed over this line. I got two dead fucking wives.
Two.

Two.

That's such bad luck. I mean, you've been widowed and then it happens again? That's so bad luck.
Jesus. But he seems like an upbeat guy.
Most of the time, what I'm seeing is a pretty upbeat guy.

Goodbye, you fucking freaks.

He was just really emotional that day. Really angry.
You got to channel that anger somewhere.

Wow.

He's a humbled Hawaiian. So he's in Hawaii.
He's lost two wives. What's this math? 1234?

1234. He's got it pinned.
So that's a very important thing. Humility is not thinking less of yourself.
Humility is thinking of yourself less. Well, see, he's on the right path.

Yeah, that's a good one. He's figuring it out.

Sunday, November 30th.

That's a screenshot of his phone.

I think 12.34.

That's what time it was when he screenshot. 1, 2, 3, 4.
Well, it's significant. Spiritually, he's saying, this is significant.

still learning ugh lol jk i messed up and archive deleted this original post ugh i spent past one hour sifting through posts to find much to no avail there's still a god that's a fucking wild caption

there's so much in there

lol jk

what

all right but also the choice to write in all caps is so bold yeah It's like you're screaming. It feels like someone's yelling at you.
Yeah.

That's the intent is like, guys, I am L-O-L-J-K. I messed up and archived.
Deleted this original. It's a lot.
That's the intonation, right? Yeah. Embrace lowercase letters, man.

It's a lot. But he's,

look, I'm going to say, I'm a fan. Keep doing your thing, Google Daddy.
And let us know how the remote control works out in the new place.

And I hope he does, this person he's interested in reciprocates. I think that would be nice.
Speaking of,

over Thanksgiving, we were staying at a hotel that had a pool. We were in Southern California, and

we had some things to do there. So we're there with the kids, and we would go to the pool.
The kids loved the pool. The children's pool.
The children pool. The family pool.
The most pool.

The family pool. Depressing pool.
Yes. There's an adult pool that you look at and you kind of lust after.
And then it just kind of fades away. And you just stay.

That'd be nice. That would be nice.
And then you're around the kid pool, which is fine. Everyone's there hanging out.
So one day, as we're hanging out, I notice this fucking

specimen of a man.

A lot of times when we go on vacations,

we know the fit dads. So when you're a dad, you just notice that there's some fit dads.
And fit moms. Unfit moms, yes.
But here's, well, here's the thing. This is the thing I've put together.
Sure.

I'm not interested in the fit moms. I'm only interested in fit dads.
I want to look at, I, I, my eyes drift towards other men.

When I'm at the beach or I'm at the pool, if I see a beautiful woman, you go, yeah, it's a beautiful woman. If I see a hot guy, I go, I want to know this person.
I want to get to know them.

I want to be with them. I want to spend time with them.
So I see this guy and I'm like, holy shit. Like, this guy's physique was unbelievable.

He looked like, to be fair, he didn't look like a fit guy. It wasn't like a guy that works out.
He looked exemplary. He looked like an Olympian, you know?

He was, if you like, there's only a few things with his body size that I would even believe that he had participated in.

I mean, he was either, I was like, this guy was either an off-season bodybuilder, where you're like, oh, yeah, I would believe that this guy's a bodybuilder.

I mean, he had this type of, it wasn't, it wasn't dialed up all the way. That's why I said off-season.

Like, it wasn't like I'm about to compete, but he looked to me like like a fucking olympic gymnast you know i mean i i'd think gymnast too because he also had those hip cuts yeah that that's like brad pitt level fight club fit am i right like that's not just i work out that's

i work out and i fuck and i right i don't know where you're going with i don't know either but

the point being that

of all the fit dads yeah like he was kind of like that no he was not even anything like this at all. That looks nothing like him.

But in the in the kiddie pool dad world, he's that of well, he was the elite, but like he looked 10 times better than this.

You don't understand, because you don't know what you're looking at, that this is just a really

lean guy. There's no mass to this guy.
The guy you're looking at now, this Brad Pitt shot, he's no, he's 150 pounds here. The guy that we saw had like was lean and had like

like muscle to him like the dude was built and it didn't look like he didn't look like a gym rat he looked like i said like an olympian so this is my question to you then and he looked and his hair wasn't clear don't even talk about his hair his hair looked amazing he had a full head

and it was like light chestnut brown nice sparkling eyes yeah great disposition yeah he was he was having a good time great personality

not a booze bag i didn't see him overindulging nope he was there with his three kids Yeah. And his wife.
She was in great shape.

So I noticed the wife separately because I also look at other women's bodies too to compare myself to them.

And she looks great for three kids. Holy shit.
Yeah.

They were both very fit. I have so I want to know him so bad.
So I was like,

you know, I was eyeballing him. I was trying to get some, I ordered a couple of drinks to build up confidence.
I wanted to go meet him

and just get to know him, get to know his life, see if there's a chance with us. So I was like eyeballing him.
And then one time he was in the hot tub and the bathroom is near the hot tub.

And I got up and I was like, all right, I'm going to go to the bathroom. And as I walked up, he looked up and he winked and smiled at me.
And I felt my heart flutter.

I was like, holy shit.

You've got a chance. Yeah, he saw me.
He likes me. Well, Andy knows you're famous and he already likes you.
So you've already got the leg. Of course.

But then here's the thing. I could never, like, I wasn't going to come up to him when he was like with his family.
You know, I was looking for an opening. Yeah, it's weird.

And so this is just kind of like a misconnection kind of moment I would like to put out there that like, I know you saw me and I saw you.

And I feel like there's so many questions that like we both want to answer.

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Limited time offer. So if

I mean, if you saw me, you know who you are.

I'd like to know who you are. You know, I have so many questions.
So many questions. Yeah, I want to know what he does.
I want to know what he does. Because here's the deal, man.

If he is like a businessman,

then that means he's got to wake up at like 4 a.m. He's hitting the gym every day.
He is, dude. He is.
And he's on like a schedule. He's very disciplined.
Very disciplined.

Which is an admirable trait because so are you. You're down to, what, 4% body fat now? No, that's the goal.
Oh. That's the goal.
Speaking of, we're going to talk to you about body fat in a second, Mr.

Ennie.

But

yeah, the goal is to be like, yeah, I mean, I want to be like people where people go, is he about to die? Like that kind of level, you know? Where are you now?

I mean, I haven't had a scan in a while, but I'm in the upper teens for sure. Oh, wow.
Yeah.

I got a long way to go. A lot of embarrassment.
Yeah, of course.

Well, that's what I remember when I was like, hey, should I even walk near him? Like, I don't know if he'll be like upset.

You know, and that really upset me, Tom, because you bring a lot to the table as well. Don't think that he's better than you.
You can't put that dad on a pedestal. You're just as good as him.

I thought I was going to walk by and he was just going to go disgusting and then like turn his head.

You know?

Disgusting. But he smiled.
He smiled and he winked. He did.
Yeah. But I think, do you think he was winking?

Cause like he was like, hey, I know you, or do you think he was winking like, hey, what's up? Hello? I think it was both. Both.
I think it could have been, hey, what's up?

Because also where he winked at you, if you recall, is right by the bar. And then there's the jacuzzi and then that one bathroom.

And we saw a lot of inappropriate making out sessions in that area of the kiddie pool, the children's area. So maybe he was like suggesting, hey, this is the corner.
Oh, where things happen.

Where stuff happens. Why don't you get a drink and meet me in the bathroom? That's right.
I never put that together. Ennie asked the question earlier, which was really smart, of like, is he joyful?

Yeah, was he having a good time? Because what does that mean, Ennie, if a man is joyful? Well, I asked if he was having too much fun, you know?

Because like, you know, we like to have fun, but if you're having too much fun, you're you're just smiley, you're laughing all the time.

What are you smiling so much for, man? I was, I was, uh, I was questioning it, and then you said that he winked at you. I'm like, that says it.
Yeah, he's gay. Fuck, it's for sure.
Fuck, dude.

Either he's an Olympian or a bodybuilder, like you're saying,

or he likes dick.

There's no other way. But he has three kids, dude.
Do gay guys have Tom Cruise?

Hold on. Allegedly.

Three kids? Three kids. Yeah.
I know. I don't think he's gay.

I mean, I don't think he's gay. You just think he likes what he saw.
You guys have a mutual admiration of one another's physique and discipline.

We both, no, I don't think he has an admiration for mine, but I think we both would, I think we'd like to get this conversation. Like, I'd like to meet this person.
Yeah. I want to know his story.

You understand? I want to know his story. I want to know.
I want to know his background. I want to know what he does.
I know what you're talking about. I get obsessed with strangers too.
Yeah.

Where you're like, what is the deal? What is this? Dude, he's so handsome. I know.
And

his physique was unbelievable. And he's got a nice family.
It's like, I want to know more.

And also, like, the wife didn't resent him or hate him, which you see a lot at the kids' pool because the woman's usually doing everything and the husband's not doing shit. No.

They were participating together. Good rapport.
He was engaged in the family.

And he was laughing, having fun, but not too much fun. So I saw him near

like a. I noticed him first.
Okay, keep going.

I also ran into him at like the kids' area, like where the kids play, and he was just

like smiling, having a good time.

Too much fun, though? You think if that's too much, if he's having a good time? I don't know. I'd have to be there.
Yeah.

There's a certain ratio of smiling. And this move a lot too.

Because he had great hair. He was doing this.

So much hair.

You know? Like

dreamy hair,

like shampoo commercial hair. I don't know.
It could be, it could just also be his full, it could be like the situation, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. It could be, it could be that sort of thing.

Uh, I'd have to see him. I don't know.
God, he was a dream boat.

Should we give his identifying feature? Like, this is the only way we're going to. It's the only way you're really going to get it.
The only way we're going to get it.

But if this is real now, you're going to make this happen. If you give away this identifying characteristic, this will manifest.
I know my heart's racing. I don't know if I can do

Just do it.

All right. So he

we already described him. Dark hair.
How tall? He wasn't that tall. He's perfect.
What do you mean, not that tall? He wasn't very tall. Like, what's not very tall in man world?

I mean, he's under six feet tall. Okay.
Like, I don't remember. I didn't ever stand next to him, but I saw him.
But he didn't feel short.

He wasn't like

5'4 ⁇ , but he was probably like, I'm guessing, like, around 5'9 or something. That's my guess.
Perfect height. Yeah.

Like I said, fucking super jacked, but like in an athletic way. It didn't look like

a juice head type of jack. No.
I mean, he looked like athletic jack. He built that over

years.

Like he swam in college. Yeah.

I think he was a swamer. So here's the thing.
It was an upper back

tattoo in the upper back. And that was his only tattoo.
In between his shoulder blades, circular. I would say like maybe a snake coiled or like a dragon, like a chakra.
Could be like a yin-yang.

I didn't see it up close. Sir, we've identified you.
We know who you are. We have questions.
Want to know who you are, what you do, what your background. What division, one sport did you play?

Are you currently involved in athletics?

And also, I think, Tom, if I may be so bold, are you open to making a new friend? Yeah, you want to be friends? I think you want to make a friend. I mean, clearly we vacation well together.

Okay. Yeah.
Well, there you go. I put it up.

I'd like to meet my new friend. There's a lady at my gym.
Yeah. Who I admire too.
Yeah. But you're like, oh, there's so, like, she's such a dream and she's so aloof.
And I just want her approval.

Like, I just, I just want her to be like, hey, Christina, how you doing? And, like, she just, she's so above. She just won't.
I think, I wonder if I'm, if I know this person.

Because I've been there too.

Is she elite? Yeah. Like, super elite? I mean,

in my world, like in a 50-year-old lady care category? No, no, I just mean objectively elite.

I don't think so. I don't think so.
But I think she looks amazing and like her personality, like she's just so cool and like whatever, like kind of East Coasty and just like funny and unbothered.

And I'm like, I just want that. I just want some of that.
Like I want you, I want her to shine her light on me. I get it.
And like, be like, I don't care about any of these people, but you, Christina.

Yeah. Like,

I want to give my friendship, my heart to you to you because you're worth it and then I'll be like oh thanks dude like fuck yeah dude

bro thank you thank you bro thanks doc

and by the way why are people making out at the kids pool that that was that was fucking so inappropriate dude there's two other pools you could have fucked in like you had to put you had to make out in the children's pool

this one couple do it at the bar yeah and this wasn't like a fucking margaritaville place you know and like Like, they were fully fucking groping each other. Fully into it.
Get your shit together.

There's kids everywhere. They were hammered.
It had to be. That's why you do that.
But there's two, like I said, great pools to go make out at. I know.
They should tell them.

Be like, hey, excuse me, can you go like ejaculate in the other pool? Could you go do that somewhere else? In the ejaculation jacuzzi?

And there's always a guy we noticed at the end of the night or the end of the pool cycle day.

There's always an alone guy in the jacuzzi. When the whole pool is gone, everyone's gone.
There's one guy. And the moon's out.
And there's this one guy.

You're like, holy shit, is there a guy in there?

One guy, Harry, alone in the jacuzzi. Yeah, it's either that or it's before sun, before the sun goes down, there'll be a guy in there who's talking to someone about business.

Well, I just try to, you know, I saw this company and I said, I could do something with that. And you're like, okay, this guy's giving, like, he's boasting about his business action.
Yeah. Yeah.

It's always so I can

I saw it every day. Yeah.

I'll tell you what I'm a big fan of right now is I like these guys who are doing

stay safe out there videos.

This is like my favorite lane that I fell into, and I cannot get enough of it. Let's do it.
Hey, everybody. It's fall.
It's going to be getting darker earlier.

And I think everybody should have access to a good flashlight at all times. Please don't rely on your phone.
At all times.

If you have to get your phone flashlight on, you're going to look down, hit the code, and then turn the flashlight on. It's not a great flashlight.

You're distracted while turning it on. There could be a perfect.
Get a good flashlight. Keep it readily available.
Okay. I like a shorefire.

I'm going to throw out and sustain. Have a tail cap activation.

So I need to open up a car door, open up a door, move my child, carry groceries. I smell my child.
One hand, free. Free to do other things.
Right. Okay.
To access all the positions that I need.

Link in my bio. I have a whole section on flashlights in the Papay University.
I will be safe.

I told my crew I want Sean to start doing these videos

because he's always buying like safety shit. It hurts my stomach.

He's expecting a woman. to carry around

a policeman's light. And then this hand.

This hand can do other things, you know? I keep this in my purse.

Always. You cannot rely on a phone.
If you have a phone, you have to look down and you have to turn the phone on. And that's an insane fucking waste of time.

So make sure you get a police-level flashlight.

Keep it on your waist, man.

Power can go out at any fucking second.

The worst part is, is this inner voice is why I go to therapy. Like, this is why I'm on prozac right because of thoughts like this

what happens if there's no light

this guy's this is feeding into everything that's wrong

as i mentioned before this is my neighborhood so i pretty much have a good baseline for what everything looks like but always remember any scenario you are in could shift people are the most unpredictable variable in any scenario if i'm here i see local people doing what they're normally doing okay any second any second clown car could roll up any sex bunch of clowns looking to get out to do clown stuff yeah and i got to be ready for that yep you do be ready for anything anytime 100 bro something else everybody should know when you put the pump in your gas station

you could drive away it's not going to explode okay they're designed to automatically shut off

your safety always comes first so if i'm pumping gas and i see the environment shift and somebody might be coming towards me i got to get out of here i'm not going to wait to see No. Okay.

Always have a plan. Where does he live? Well, be safe, everybody.
Is he living in Bosnia? Why is he so fired up? I know this neighborhood, but at any second, a clown could fucking enter.

What neighborhood is he in?

Sheesh. He needs to move.
Yeah, man. He doesn't feel this threatened in his own neighborhood.
Sometimes you'll be putting gas in your car and you'll feel a threat.

Just take off and rip the fucking pump down. It doesn't matter.

You just got to be on top of safety at all times. Pay the pump.
Can you imagine how much it would cost to replace the pump at a gas station?

It's $50,000 because you're panicking. I got scared.
I don't know. What do you want me to tell you? Wait, what were you saying about Sean, though? Tell me.
Sean,

Sean, who I love dearly and travels with me everywhere.

He's got a little bit of stay prepared.

So

this guy's business or whatever is called prepared, not paranoid.

So that's what I tell, like, Sean believes in that. You know, he's always like, well, what if this happens? What if that happens? You know? So he's got trauma shears on his waist.

He's got a crazy flashlight. Hold on.
He's got all kinds of. You can't just, let's go through what he's got.
So number one is trauma shears. Shears.
These are the shears that a paramedic or

somebody in the fire department would have with them so that like if they needed to

cut you out of a seat belt or your ring was like wedged onto something and like you're about to lose your finger uh yeah so he's got a pretty high level uh type of trauma shear on him and he gets this through security if you guys are flying commercially oh fuck yeah oh yeah well he explains you know with the man what if this whole thing what if you need somebody to get cut out of strap and they're like okay buddy okay so the

okay so the trauma shears are on his waist belt

okay walk flashlight too he's got the one that that guy advised. Yeah, he's got one of these.
And it does like different patterns, like flash. SOS.
SOS. Yeah, he does Morse code with it.

He's got a Leatherman. He's got knives.
He always has like different types of knives on him. Sure.
Yeah. So I'm trying to get him to just like keep upgrading.
Keep escalating. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.

Be like 100% prepared for any situation, ever. Yeah.
Well, he showed me.

He showed me the ring that you guys bought together. Oh, yeah.
He's got, yeah, he's got all kinds of, he's got knuckle dusters. He's got, yeah.
He goes you see this Christina I go

It's called a knuckle duster. Yeah, and he and I go what is this? He goes you know when back the guys gangs that couldn't carry weapons and this is what they do It's when they banned brass knuckles.

That's when they when they banned those and I could buy this ring and then I could I could you know you could punch somebody and do some damage and I looked at him real damage Like this and he goes what I thought you'd like it.

It's all punk rock. And I'm like, it is.
It is punk rock. It is very punk rock.
I very much like it. Yeah.
But you think you need the knuckle dusters on the Southwest Airlines flight right now?

Dude, you need shit at all times. You know what his favorite expression is? You stay ready, you don't have to get ready.
That's no shit, though. And that's what this is.
That's what he's doing.

He's right. Always ready.
As I go from the parking lot into the store, I'm transitioning into a new space. Holy shit.
So in the parking lot, I've already cleared that it's safe.

So as I go into a new space, I have to do the same thing. I'm going to go in there, take a few seconds, observe the environment, see if it's a good thing.
Trader Joe's

pay attention. Whole foods you're going to go into.

So, all right, so you're going to craft this.

So as I go into the store, I take a second.

I look. I notice there's a fire alarm over there.

I look and see if there's anything out of place, anything I should normal attention to. Okay.

People over here having coffee. Everything seems normal.
Okay. Take a few more seconds and I go about my day into the store

and go shopping. You know, you just described absolutely nothing.
Literally, he was like, I went into the store, I looked, and it looked like people were in the store, and then I felt safe.

Like, everybody already does that. You have to give us something more to do in the store, right? Well, exactly, Tom.
Like, I was hoping for some of the things. Where are the exits? That's right.

Right? Where is the nearest bathroom? Maybe I'll have diarrhea. Is there a security officer in the security? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is there a coin star?

And I would like to get some more racial profiling in here.

Oh, he said it before. You didn't hear it?

He used the word clowns. Oh, oh, yeah.

You know what he meant. I know what he meant.
He didn't mean...

He meant...

He's like, yeah, you know, clowns.

Doing clown things. You know, clowning around, blacking.
I mean, clowning, being clowns

with their music, their clown music.

Talking all that clown talk where you're like, what the fuck did you just say?

Yeah, well,

I got to say, I'm a huge fan of this page.

I hope everybody continues to be prepared and not paranoid. Hyper vigilant.
I'm really hoping that Sean builds a page like this soon.

I've been literally working in therapy for 20 years trying to stop this exact shit in my head. Where are the exits? Scan the room left to right.

A couple clowns over here. That's not good.
Clowns. Clowns.

that is well amazing and also he's not going to a grocery store in a bad neighborhood this appears to me to just be like a normal suburb just like a like a randall's yeah

totally normal grocery store publix or something yeah

he's like all right i can shop now i walked in i assessed the

what

hilary bets oh he's in sedona which is like the crackeriest safest there's 10 people living there place oh duncan follows him too he does.

There you go. Founder.
Prepared, not paranoid.

Important. Well, what's important? Let's click on important.

Okay. Important.
My book. Like my book.

Okay.

That's good. Now,

by the way, he told us where he is. Situational awareness.
Situational awareness. This is a terminology used called keep your head on a swivel.
What does that even mean? What are we looking for?

If we explore situational awareness, we'll come up on Cooper's color code, Yoda loop, and a few others.

What I've done is I've taken all that information,

and put it together in my new book. Oh, shit.
Situational awareness and safe family travel strategies. Jesus.
I put it together in a format that's easy to understand

and also easy for you to teach members of your family. So you might look at this and say, I got it.
I'm always aware. Yes, you might be.
But is your child more aware?

How do we implement these strategies to keep our entire family and our community safer? So I put this book together

in one of the the safest places you could be.

It's all retirees.

Yeah. And it's like, hey, do you want to see like the fucking stars tonight, right? And sound baths and shit.
Yeah. It's like this guy's walking into those crystal shops being like,

who's this guy? What's this clown doing? Yeah. It's literally white girls with dread loss and like

patchouli. There's nothing happening in Sedona.
Maybe that's why he's doing this. He's like, he wants something to happen.
He's still juiced up. Yeah.

He definitely moved there from somewhere. Somewhere awful.
Oh, East Coast. You could hear it in his voice.

He moved from the Northeast. My wife and I relocated to Sedona.

Talking, and you look in the room, you see a couple clowns. You say, hey, fucko.
Yeah.

You could drive away from a gas. What is the bio site? What does it have on the site? I want to know, like, what, what, what is there? He's a cop.
Got it. Situational awareness.

Do you think he's ex-cop? Could be. Or military.
Self-defense option. Hell yeah.
Less than lethal ah fuck yeah flashlight yeah

big on the the anatomy of a flashlight that's insane

yeah that's a that's a sound special right there pocket clip lanyard loop tail cap yep

i like knowing the exact

wording on that tail switch

You hit the tail cap on that? It's like, what are you talking about?

The tail cap. The spill, the hot spot, the way that the light is dispersed.

Okay. Lux.
Got it. What? Pepper spray.
We definitely need some of that. We need that.

He's got to be fully fucking

like. I bet if you lifted up his t-shirt, you would see like 40 things hanging from there.

Have you ever actually sprayed pepper spray in the room? No. It is so volatile.
If you

spray pepper spray, guess who else it fucks up? The person that's you. Yeah, yeah.
Because it's so hot. Indoors, it's insane.
You can't. Like, it's...
Yeah.

You're just going to guess the whole situation. This is my favorite channel of the year, by the way.
No, this is stun gun.

Well, what are my options? Hold on. You're passing by stun gun options.
Saber self-defense kit with pepper spray and stun gun. That's what I'm getting, Sean, for Christmas.
Oh, my God.

Will you please flag some good ones for me? I want to get them something state-of-the-art.

We need a stun gun. You got to walk around with one gun.
Oh, my God.

Is this legal in Texas to stun?

Selling it on Amazon. I don't know.

I'm like, yeah. Oh my god.
It's such a bad idea. It's great.

Is there another one that's like

holy shit level here? Look, what are that?

You know what? I just had a vision of

me taking my stun gun out and then

stunning me down. Just being like, hold on a second.
I gotta, it's not on yet. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, tear gas pronoun. I gotta get my tear gas gun

please get it can we make a video of him trying out all your new toys that you guys oh yeah i want him to be fully fucking strapped

with like a pellet gun and a stun gun

and not

everyone's like what the fuck you're like he's just ready dude he's prepared you should put him through the course that the cops got to take where they get like uh desensitized to the tear gas he would

love

it to go to that i wouldn't even be surprised if he already did it you might be right

kinetic balls solid non-lethal projectiles i could get him something like that kinetic balls tear gas i didn't even know you could buy tear gas oh my god i would love to have him fully strapped

you have to buy him a belt too no yeah to put all this shit to well i mean he's got a belt but maybe like a specialty belt or something across his chest like commando

deep shit

he would embrace all this stuff

yeah fucking awesome

okay i do feel like you could have used all this in albuquerque when you were filming there this past summer yep ab q has some

has some clowns

You definitely need that. That's it.
Oh, there it is. Definitely getting him that.
Please flag that for me. It's called a tactical belt.
Yeah. That's what you need.
Dude, that's fucking badass.

Boo, boo. Is that a body cam? Oh, shit.

What's that in the front there? That looks like it's got a screen or something, right?

Dude, that is. I think it's Velcro.
Dude, that is 100% Sean's belt.

I'm so stoked for that.

Duty belts, law enforcement, combat, airsoft police belt with pouches. Seven pieces.
Ooh. You know what he'll probably like is the tactical vest.
Yeah, he would love the vest.

Especially if you can, like, weight it. Give me the belt and the vest, please.
Maybe night vision goggles? Does he have night vision?

He's not safe at night. That's so true.
Oh, tactical vest.

Dude, he would love that. That's fucking rad.
Yeah. Those things are heavy.
Dude, yeah, we got to suit him up. He's got to get ready.

P.S., the funny thing is going to be when you ask him, and he's going to be like, yeah, I got like three three of those. Yeah, I already have that.

Why'd you get me shit? I already have panoramic night vision goggle. Holy shit.
Oh my god, it's $50,000. $50,000?

What the fuck?

What? Well worth it, though. Well worth it.
Great investment. I bet Larry would approve.
He'd be like, 100% you need that.

You go outside.

Scan the neighborhood. In Sedona.
Anybody out here?

How the fuck, man?

Yeah. How is it like that? I don't know, dude.
What is 50 grand? This is what, like, why military contracts are worth like $40 billion.

It's overpriced. They're like, yes, 50 grand a pop.
There's nothing.

There's nothing that's worth $50,000. Those are binoculars for your head.
Please explain. Only one left.
Helmet mount.

Can we go back to like the search for those to see if there's like, like, what are the other ones?

like they have to have more reasonable prices man what's neat is that you look cooler too those are nine hundred dollars yeah that's it's still a shitload of oh single single ops 300 bones just for one but he needs he needs both no i definitely would get him the two

fuck yeah eyes on

What are you doing? I'm fucking scoping the neighborhood right now. I'm moving left to right.
See what's out here. Looks like a a fucking owl.
Well, I'm excited. Please flag some of these for me.

I need to get him Christmas. Yeah.

So, the

what's it called? The junior fet smoker guy. I think he's still doing stuff, right? Oh, thank god.

What's up?

Why are you filming us? I'm filming him.

Let's talk filming our boyfriend.

Are you filming before, dude?

are you famous are you famous he's not famous oh you are famous you are famous

have a good day famous guy

he's got he's he just has the heart and soul of herc it's so clear it's uh it's really cool it really makes you realize we're all connected and i do love that there's two people just having a good time by themselves

She's like, stop filming my boyfriend. Yeah.
And he's being disruptive to that. That was really cool.
We're over here at the Sigma Chi Plants neighborhood. Yep.
Over here. Back to Sigma Kai.

Forest Park,

I think Mountains in Portland, Oregon. Oregon.
And I thought I'd bring awareness to the community about this

person who does

dirty work for Sigma Chi fraternity. Dirty work.
Oh, dear.

He's all king at the

What the fuck, dude. Yeah.
You know what's really crazy is like Herc also had this fearlessness about him. Yeah.

Yeah. Fearless.
Fearless. These are.
He didn't fall proto, buddy. You're done.
Yeah. These are men that he's taunting.
Oh, I know. Strong.

That guy, by the way, the guy that he said, you're famous, that looked like a pretty solid dude.

That was not a little guy. No.
You know? He is barking up some scary trees. This guy is

fucking crazy. That dude, I bet, could have really wrecked this guy.

Uh-oh, the cop. What is your name and sale number?

What is your name and serial number?

What is your name and sale number? Sales.

Sheriff.

No, Sheriff Pronister, why is he refusing ID himself to be Sheriff Pronister?

Yeah, so why can't you site and release people instead of having to take them to Orient Road?

And that's funny. He's in Florida now.
He was just in Oregon Road. Oh, shit.
That's Hillsborough County. Yeah, that's like the Tampa area, I think.

You know what? That makes sense, though. That's the beacon for mental illness.
Just the state of Florida? Well, all of Florida, but Tampa, Orlando, Miami.

Yeah. So why can't you site and release people for misdemeanors instead of having to take them to Orient Road jail?

Yeah, when you arrest somebody for a misdemeanor, you should just site and release them. Why do you have to take them and waste gas and this gas guzzling unit to take them to the Orient Road jail?

It's not like L.A., where if you do a misdemeanor, they site and release you or take you to the station and process you. So what's really I'm fascinated by now is the fact that he's this transient.

Yeah. You know,

sometimes there's just fixed location guys. He is literally.
Like, we've seen multiple stuff from him up in Washington. Then he was in Oregon.

I don't remember where else we've seen him, but he's definitely... Oh, he's been in L.A.
That's right. He references L.A.
But this is

definitely ⁇ I I mean, he's in the Tampa area, which is Hillsborough County.

What time of year is this film? Is it coinciding with holidays? Is he visiting his family in Florida? Is he in school during the other times? We're all just fucking... It's crazy.

What always baffles me is these people have money to travel.

Like, how the fuck? How about this right here?

I know. How do they do it? How about this?

What do you see here that reminds you of Herc?

What are you going to do, fucking security guard, bitch? Take a picture. Old ass motherfucker, you're a fucking security guard.
Who the fuck are you?

Are you a certified peace officer in the state of California, bitch? You're just gonna do shit like that? You have no authority.

You have no authority. So you're just gonna be ignorant like that.
Jaywalking is not illegal in California. Says who.

Says who? Or Jaywalking is illegal. The California state legislator.

The California state legislator, you fucking old bitch, you spectrophool.

Oh, wow. He's at LAX.
Is that LAX? Yeah, that's LAX. He's at the airport.

And then he's harassing a security guard. We've seen that before.
What's your name? Public servant. What's your name, public servant? We're not going to talk to the supervisor.
Go ahead. Supervisor.

Supervisor of Wawa. Why are you going to be done? Give me orders.
You're a security guard. You have no fucking authority.
Are you done? Yeah.

Are you done? Touch my phone. Touch my phone.

I don't touch your phone. Touch my phone.

You're a security guard. You have no authority.
Are you leaving or not? You have no authority. Are you leaving or not?

Touch my camera through the fence, you faggot.

The similarities are striking. Yeah.
We got to do DNA tests on this kid. We got to get Herc's DNA.
It should cost your job, imagine.

This is unbelievable.

This is the same person. It's the same behavior.
It's the exact same behavior. What are the chances?

There's a guy who's just doing his job as a security guard, and then he's like, who the fuck are you? What the fuck are you doing here? Fuckhead.

You're fired, buddy. At the arrow.
I'm fired, bud. And also, why is nobody arresting him at this point? Like, if you mess with TSA or whatever, like, can't they arrest you? I think

California is probably the most, like, least likely to spend the resources in arresting someone like that. Right now, yeah.
Yeah. Now, them Hillsboro County sheriffs have time.
I'll tell you that.

And Florida, they have time. Of course.
They always are like, huh? What? Yeah, well, just fucking lock them up.

I mean, the more, like, the bluer places are going to be like, well, you know, she needs help. And maybe they take him to a hospital.
But down south, they don't really operate.

Because we didn't see Herc coming through Texas a whole lot. He didn't see Herc doing this shit

in the red states. Yeah.

Interesting. Yeah.
White chariots, man. You know,

white chariots. Before I forget, I wanted to give a big shout out to

the MGM,

the hookup, the way they treated us.

I had a show in Vegas a couple weeks ago, and it was at the Park MGM. It was really fun.
Thank you for all that. But also, they set us up at F1, which was really, really fun.

And I have to give a huge, huge thanks to the great legendary chef, Jose Andres,

for absolutely spoiling the shit out of me and my crew.

I think there is no greater joy than getting to spend

time with with chefs. The chefs that I've been fortunate enough to meet all over the world are always like the greatest.
They're just the best, man. They're amazing talents, they're amazing people.

This guy is not just an amazing chef, he's an amazing humanitarian and human being. If you don't know his work with World Central Kitchen,

it's an incredible organization that just feeds people all over the world, regardless of their political situations or affiliations. They just go to wherever there's disasters.

That could be hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, war zones, floods. Wherever there's a disaster and people need to get fed, World Central Kitchen goes and they sets up and they feed people.

And it's led by this man, Jose Andres, who's a world-famous, very accomplished chef.

He is, you know, one of the elite chefs, right? The guy who's just like has these incredibly innovative ideas.

And if you've ever been to like the bazaar or bazaar meets, and he's got, what is this, this place, something pobolano in Vegas, and he's got Haleo, and he's got, he's got it, he's got a dozen or more restaurants, and they're all over the world.

So, I mean, yeah, we could, we could see what they are here. This is the, I guess, U.S.
locations. I mean, look, there's, yeah, china, poblano, bar centro, bazaar mar, bizarre meat, um,

eh, Jaleo. Something tells me this guy is Latin.
He's from Spain. So he's a Spanish man.

Anyway, he treated us like we were visiting heads of state and gave us an absolute, I mean, like a feast that I can't describe. And I'm there with John Feliciano.
There's Kirk. There's Kirk.

And we're just hanging out. And he was just absolutely spoiling the shit out of us.
And it was just, it was such an amazing experience.

I just had to acknowledge that this dude is just, he's exactly what you want out of a chef. Like, he's passionate, he's excited, and he's super talented.

So, it's all these things that you're like, you know, like, what, what is this? And he's just rattling off how he had an idea and came up with this.

And then, every bite, you're like, this is unfucking believable. That's cool.
So, it was very cool. Yeah.
Yeah. It's an incredible organization.
I think that's really nice that he does that.

World Central Kitchen. If you want to

see what they do, you know, you can Google it. But they

really do amazing work. I mean it.

It's so cool. We've donated over the last few years a number of times because they do such great work.
Okay. Yeah.
Okay. Well, I wanted to address our cat obesity problem in the Segura homestead.

And frankly, I'm a little fucking disappointed in the millennials, in the Gen Zs, the Gen alphas we have working here.

So

we have automatic cat feeders, okay? We have an adult cat, a kitten. The adult cat is eating the kitten's portions, and the adult cat is fat.
That's the problem.

Munchkin's overweight by two pounds, okay? Yeah.

So here I am on the show, and I'm we're talking about it. Oh, the cat feeders, you have to pull them apart.
We have to feed them separately, blah, blah, blah. We're all talking about these scenarios.

Meanwhile,

Connor Swindles, friend of the show, he's star of the movie Jingle Bell Heist on Netflix right now.

He listens to the show and he thanks me for the shout-out and he goes, oh, Mate, you know, you can also do. Oh, it's hot, mate.

You can buy feeders that are calibrated to a specific cat. Meaning, one of them wears one color, activates this feeder, the other colour activates the other one, and they can't cross the streams.

You see what I'm saying? Does he have he has a cat? He's got multiple cats. And so he goes, mate, it's real fucking simple.
You just get and have you then, have you ordered this already?

Of course, $100 fucking later. Yeah.
And now we don't have a cat obesity problem. And why the fuck didn't these millennials, these are cat owners here? They are.

And it took somebody across the pond listening to the show to tell me. Wait, how does it stop them from eating the other one's food? So they wear collars that have like sensors.
Okay.

So if the correct cat goes up to the correct feeder sensor, it dispenses food. The minute it

does the wrong cat, it stops working. But doesn't it usually dispense multiples at like a feeding amount at a time? I don't know.
The point of the story is it shuts it down. It covers it or something.

No, the point of the story.

I haven't done it yet. They fail me.

I didn't want to set it up for our trip because what if it malfunctioned and there's nowhere in there to feed the cat? The point of the fucking story is, Josh, you have fucking cats.

Multiples, am I right? Yeah. And you didn't know this shit.
You should have known this. I didn't know it.
I got to try it. I mean, let us know if it works.
Of course.

Of course it works. Connor does it.
That's how he keeps his animals from being obese. The thing is,

we need

Josh and some of the other people here to flog themselves, I think, a little more. Thank you, Tom.
That's exactly what I want. Some repentance.

You know, I'm a failure. I'm stupid.
I don't know things. Things like that.
That's right. I'm young.
I should know everything. I should know things more.
Yeah. How do I not know that?

I'm a fucking moron. Exactly.
They're supposed to be up on all the technology, the AIs, the things. I let you down.
I let myself down. Things like that.
I like this. Yeah.

Speaking of,

let's talk to this clown any real quick wow why why wow why

he escalated

so

a few weeks ago um i was explaining how the only thing that i'm really concerned with and i really feel like i'm trying to encourage people in this regard do whatever you want obviously is when it comes to like your weight and your body isn't the number on the scale.

It's your body composition. That's what matters.
It's true. There's some people that are, I'm talking about men that are like 225 and they're fucking, they look perfect, right? But that's that guy.

Somebody else, it might be 170. Like the scale doesn't matter.
It's your, it's your composition, like your, your lean mass versus your body fat, right? Like what's that number?

And it's look, there's a whole huge range in which is healthy, and there's a range within if you want to be like, I don't know, elite or whatever, but it's knowing that that I think is important.

So, I was encouraging, I was saying that I had done this, and that that's what I'm really trying to focus on is just the composition, not the scale number.

And in doing so, I was like, you know, I've gotten more dialed in on like what certain body fat percentages mean for like the male physique, right? So, you start to learn, like, this is obese.

This is like,

you know, moderately healthier. This is like, you you know, some extra weight.
This is starting to get into like

pretty lean. And this is like super lean.
Like you're learning what those are. So in doing that, I was like, oh, I wonder, because we've, obviously we've worked with Ennie for a long time.

He's a super lean guy. You know, he's like, he's a guy that is like, he doesn't carry a lot.
He's like a squirrel or a greyhound. And he's, and he's, uh, he's been, always been very lean,

never really been like a

hardcore gym guy, but he's a very, he's a strong guy. And he can eat.
He's one of those body types. I feel like he could eat whatever and doesn't have to think about it.

So I was like, well, I encouraged him. I was like, I'm just so curious, what's your,

you know, like composition like? And he went to get a scan, a DEXA scan, to get like the numbers. And what are the results of that, any?

According to the DEXA scan, your boy fat as fuck.

Apparently, I am 22%

body fat. That's wild.
22% to me. Which is why today's cap report

is body fat. It's body fat.
Got it. It's body fat percentage.
It doesn't fucking exist. I could run faster, jump higher, punch harder.

This had you, because you sent it to me.

You had 21.6.

Which...

Is that unhealthy in the range for men? No, it's not unhealthy.

It was a bit surprising. Just like looking at any, but then again, like somebody who's like

pretty lean like him you can be like

very dialed in on that you know and there's also there's a spectrum to how lean a lean person is um oh wow so 20 oh wow 20 is that far right one that's what it's saying that any's category is which i think definitely not what i look like it's not do you think what do you think you look like because i don't think you showed me like your belly today and it didn't look like you don't look like obviously like uh 30 down there but but i don't think and at your current state you look like 15.

i i think you've been at what that 15 looks like but i don't think you're currently there right now am i wrong i think i don't only because of the like extra muscle i'm not built but in terms of like the abs like my abs look like that they don't look like they look like 15 yeah like really 20 i mean that's definitely again it's more like you know uh what's the word uh

i don't know more more fucking prevalent i don't know how to say it but but don't you feel like like this my, from what I saw, like you were sitting in a chair and you just lifted up your shirt.

I didn't see definition. I just saw it like kind of what, like, undefined, but not like, again, not heavy.

It to me looked like, oh, if he spent, you know, six weeks like, like, caring about it, your body would change dramatically.

That you were just kind of like going through the, like, you know, like you're not particularly working on this right now and that you are, yeah, you never are, right?

Like, you're just kind of like, yeah. I haven't been to the gym.
I mean,

I went to the gym every day for that basketball thing. And before that, I want to say the last time I went to the gym was like, I don't know, 10 years ago.
Like, I don't go to the gym every day.

And then food-wise, you never really care, right? Garbage? Nothing but garbage. Yeah.

So

do you think that the thing is wrong? Or do you just think that, like, who cares? I think that it's kept. I think it's all a mindset.
Wait, wait, wait.

I'm talking about the data. Like, do you think it was

inaccurate? It's data, but or do you think that it's like,

yeah, I mean, do you think it's not accurate?

What it said? I mean, I don't know. I guess

I don't have anything to compare it to. I just trust it, I guess.
I mean, I don't really, it doesn't.

I think it would be an interesting experiment for you.

Because the great thing is when you have like a baseline is if like if you have that report that you now have that you shared with me and you take like a completely

like you for yourself, take a photo when you get home in the bathroom where, like, in like your boxers, where you just see yourself unflexing, just like chilling. This is getting weird.

It's not weird, it's for you. I'm not saying to share them, I'm saying it's for you.

So, you take a photo of yourself where you see your physique, you see exactly where you are, and then you have your data from last week. And then, if you were to go, like, okay,

there's you know, essentially four weeks left in the year. So you give yourself like eight, 12 weeks.

And in those eight to 12 weeks, you just, you don't have to go extreme, but I'm saying you dial in a few things, meaning you, you, you try to just adapt to a little, little healthier diet and just like a few days a week of training.

I bet you within, if you gave yourself 12 weeks and you had a DEXA scan again and you tried to address some of those things, you would go, oh, yeah, I see how dramatic this can be with just a little bit.

Because you have the body type where I think a little bit of dialing that in could get like extreme results. No, you're 100%.
I mean, yeah, it's really, it's always just been a matter of time.

I would definitely need to get a personal trainer because I just don't, and a dietitian probably, because the thing about

getting healthy that's always stopped me is I don't know what the fuck to do. Yeah, that's most

right. I don't know the right calories and protein and

that's most people because we don't get taught that, which is like the two things that I always feel like the strangest as you get older is when you realize we don't teach really how to be healthy.

Are human. Like in schools and we don't teach really people unless they pursue it finance.
Exactly. We just go like get out there.
Fucking put it on a credit card. And that's what we just go.

Money and health. Yeah.
There should be classes devoted to this.

You have to seek it out. We don't go like we're going to teach you that.
Because, any, your body naturally, could you imagine? If you were like really into it,

and he's still young enough? You're not even, what are you? You're not even 40. He's not even close.
How old are you? 28? 29.

He's lying. He's lying.
Are you 30 something? But you're still young. You could cap.

Wow. Did you imagine this? All right.
Enough of this clowning around. You got to.
This is crazy. Crazy.

Crazy.

You know what I used to love?

What I used to love?

What?

Not okay.

I'm gonna send this to Black Twitter. What are you talking about? I'm sending it straight to him.
For what? You're gonna get another round of this shit.

I didn't do anything. Let me tell you.
I didn't do anything. Let me tell you.
I walked in today. I go, who's this clown? And then I hear my name.
Unbelievable.

Hold a double down.

Black Twitter will hear.

Okay,

so

wait, so you are you interested in that at all or not really though? The pursuit of the

like you don't when I you're a normal healthy guy.

I mean moderately healthy, let's be honest. He's not healthy.

My habits are probably the least healthy of any person in the world. And your body is not matching your habits.
Absolutely not. Like your body is still like, hey, we're pretty good.
Somehow, yeah.

I really haven't lost much of anything in like the last 10 years do you want to change that or are you just like i don't really fucking care i mean like i think once there will be a day there will be a day and and i will go hard and it will be like a thing i'll only focus on but again it's like the

because i can't do the thing where you're saying where you're like oh don't go all the way in don't be super extreme about it right just do like a little bit because that's not how you do it it's not just that i don't it's that i'm not gonna i'm not gonna care then and then i'm just gonna be like ah well why do i even need to do that that's a good point i'll just just quit.

That's a good point. So if I did it, I would go super hard.
But again, it's like, I know I'm going to need a fucking dietitian, a fucking, you know,

dude. He smokes cigarettes, right? You smoke OG cigs.

Remember when we used to order In-N-Out at the old studio in Reseda? Oh, and he would go ham on like five burgers or

so. How many burgers could you eat at once? I used to have at least four.

But it also, I'd be like, when did you last eat? And you'd be like, last yesterday at one, and then today at four,

you're like, I'm just going to go home and get another pizza, and then I'll be good for another day. Yeah, they just have it.

They came up with a term for it, I guess, later in life, but I grew up doing that my whole life. But I guess I just intermittent fasting.
Oh, yeah, you were. Whole life.
You were.

Restoration.

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah.
So you weren't ever like a breakfast, lunch, dinner. You were just like, I'll eat what I'm doing.
You just eat lunch. Yeah, I can't eat in the morning.
Food, food.

Yeah, I don't like it either. I'm just resting for like at least four hours after I wake up.
I wish I had to. I could eat.

You and I are totally opposite with breakfast. Tom wakes up, his eyes open, he wants to eat immediately.

Me, I'm like, ugh, just like any, I don't want to fucking eat. I just want to jack my stomach full of dark brown coffee and like take Prozac on an empty stomach, rip that coffee, take a shit,

and then wait until I'm starving, and then I'll give myself food. It's normal.
Everybody's got habits. It's pretty much like

around

like 11:59 p.m. That's like right around where the hunger starts to kick in.
Wow. Which I heard is a really good time to eat.
That's when they tell you to eat before you go to sleep.

Eat and late layout.

That's what they say. Eat and light out.
That's what I do. Yeah.

That's the secret. All right.
Well, we'll discuss whether or not you want to go all in. She would look so amazing.
You would, you would. If you put, of all our bodies on the staff.

Yeah, yours is the closest to

you. Ready to go.
You could just rip, dude.

Yeah. All right.

We have to wrap this up. Yeah.
Let's do it.

Thank you guys for watching. Thank you for listening.
And,

you know, just make sure you scan your surroundings whenever you're anywhere. Go get that flashlight.
Walk into a store.

Don't forget, you can, if you're pumping gas, you can just take off with the gas pump in. Don't forget and get a flashlight.
And we'll be back with more

ways to prepare yourself to stay safe out there, keep your family safe. We'll see you next week.
What's up there, Chomo? Listen here.

Miles an hour down the alley of death. The man of the world is sucking down me.

Speeding out teeth is skull on fire.

Dirty coffee, baby, rainbow blood on my tires.

Face that smuggler.

This turtle I ride.

Fucking face, that's for her.

I can never die.

You ain't telling me the speed limit out here, my dear brother.

Taking up a chance, they never sleep. Always think nobody leads.
Get to stab on the face.

Fucking face, that's what girl.

This turtle I ride

Fucking face, that's what I've done.

I can never die.

That's the way you do it, talking car rush.