We're Being Replaced! (For The Summer) | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

100%.

Summer Bears.

Summer Bears are here.

We like to get queer.

And Summer Bears.

What song is that?

And then

Summer Bears.

It's summer, guys.

It's summertime.

Tommy is back in his home state, living here full-time.

He left Texas.

The boys are going to be raised soft pronouns.

Shit like that.

Yeah, man.

Your boys are going to see Rogan's girls girls, and they're going to be more manly than your boys.

I love that you're back here and you just left Texas and you don't live there at all.

Thanks, man.

I appreciate it.

It's a warm welcome back.

I like my summer attire.

How great is it?

Waking up, surfing with the boys.

That was awesome today.

Does Push go out?

She did not go out with us.

She met us there, but she was doing something.

So she met us there.

But it was really fun.

It was fun to.

The little dudes, dude, little dudes don't struggle to pop up on a board at all.

They're just up.

The guy told me because we went out with an instructor because I was like, damn, they got up right away.

He goes, dude, if you go down to Huntington Beach, he goes, you will see six and seven year olds that are doing stuff that you see like pro surfers do.

Cause those kids get on a board when they're like three.

So by the time they're seven, he's like, they're unbelievable.

Dude, keep them doing this.

Yeah, I know.

How cool would it be if we had grown?

I mean, I grew up,

I grew up surfing, but not like.

Not like as a child where you pick it up initially and then you'll never forget it.

I know, I know.

We've been going like multiple times a week.

So, what are other things?

Like, today, I gotta say this:

Luis J.

Gomez is one of the most fascinating guys in the entire world.

He is such a fucking anomaly of a human being.

He trains professionally to fight, and he has no fights lined up every day.

Yeah, he has been teaching his son to box his whole life.

Yeah, today I'm watching his son hit gloves.

His son is a grown man, by the way, five, eight, 11 years old.

Okay, fucking a man.

And he is fucking Lewis is calling out combos, and he's like, Ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta.

What other things can we do with these boys of yours?

What's this?

What other things?

Like, this is so cool.

If they grow up surfing, the rest of their fucking life, they will surf.

They will just go to Hawaii, Tom, and go surf.

That's it.

I mean, it's awesome.

Like, well, you know, Ellis loves jiu-jitsu.

So he's been, he's, he's bumped up a couple belts already.

Like, he's, he's been really progressing in that.

And then Julian loves drums, so he plays drums like crazy.

And he's got, like, like, he's got such great rhythm and a great ear.

Did our dads not love us?

I don't know.

He's telling baseball.

He's telling the surf instructor, he's like, you like David Bowie?

And the instructor's like, do I like David Bowie?

He's like, yeah.

He's like, do you?

He's like, well, yeah, man.

Like,

he's like, he was really ahead of his time.

I'm like, what the fuck?

Are you talking to fight out?

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's like, he's so into it.

It's hilarious.

Dude, what?

I'm having, you know, I told you this downstairs, but I'm having real FOMO.

Yeah, for like parenting stuff.

To Sebastian's and fucking Corsica with his kids.

His wife, did you see Sebastian's wife doing a handstand on the edge of a infinity pool?

No.

I almost wanted to hit my wife and go, you can't do anything.

Pull up Sebastian's wife.

Fucking Lana is doing a goddamn handstand.

I'm going to say casually, you know, everyone knows Lana's gorgeous, but she looks fucking incredible.

Look at her.

It's pretty nuts.

She's doing a fucking handstand.

Leanne couldn't even stand on the edge of an infinity pool.

Yeah, you should definitely.

Look at that.

Here's what...

This is why fucking Instagram needs to shut down.

I'm looking at this.

Now go to fucking Andrew Schultz.

Look at this.

Look at this.

Look, they look great.

Clean clothes.

No stains.

No ice cream stains.

No ice cream stains.

Look, he's got the kids.

He's got the little dad bag.

He's got the golf cart.

They're on a goddamn boat.

Yeah, that's awesome.

They're on a fucking boat.

She looks amazing.

Go

fucking look at that little fun kid car.

Hotel duca.

Maybe we shouldn't tell everyone where he's staying.

It's on the Instagram.

Oh, yeah, it's on Instagram.

Now go to Andrew Schultz.

Look at this.

Fucking in Abitha.

Go to, no, no, go.

I don't know why.

This, this is all promo stuff.

Get out of here.

Get out of here.

Does he have two accounts?

Oh, never mind.

Oh, go to his stories.

Go to his stories.

Go to his stories.

Go to his stories.

Okay, look at that.

Beautiful little girl, Abitha, Spain.

Go to the next one.

Look at this.

Oh, yeah.

Just a bunch of fucking New York Jews swimming in the ocean.

Don't even care about Gaza.

Yep.

And then look at this.

Fucking great food.

Oh, yeah.

Look at cocktails in the afternoon.

No one's counting drinks.

Look at Dove.

He's filling on his shirt like a regular American.

This is killing me.

And then, of course, he's got a snorkel on.

This guy doesn't belong in the ocean, but the fish, he's panicked.

This is New York for you.

He's like, what the fuck?

I'm going to get the piranhas.

Scared.

The piranhas.

Is that Dove?

And then look at this.

Everyone's young and beautiful.

The kids got a nanny.

Kids going taking a nap and they're partying balls.

They're having a great time, man.

And they're singing Neil Diamond in a Biza.

What an authentic Spanish experience.

But look at this.

I'm having such fucking FOMO, Tommy.

Well, you can take a vacation.

No, I can't.

Well, that's true.

I can't.

I can't.

Well, actually, we both really have to stop soon because...

It's probably a good time to mention that we both have huge obligations this summer that are going to take us us away from vacations and anything else.

I'm only here right now to film some episodes to go back to work.

They're going back to work.

So why don't you say what you're doing?

I'm living in Atlanta this summer for two months, shooting a television show for Netflix.

It's called Free Bert.

You can find the write-up on it.

I'm not going to tell you about it.

I hope you enjoy it.

And you.

Can you say what you're doing?

Yeah, now I can.

So it's such a, I've always said it's such a weird business where they're always like, don't say anything.

And you're like, okay.

And then they publish an, an article and then they're like, okay, now you can talk.

You're like, what?

Okay.

But anyway, so at this point, it's already out.

So I'm shooting a movie this summer.

We're shooting in New Mexico.

It's called El Tigray.

Can I talk a little bit about the movie?

Because

so.

Obviously, we're trying to figure out our schedules for this summer and we're both working with people that,

uh you know we're tom's making a big fucking movie and uh

i said to someone they're like what happens with two bears and we're like we have we have no idea yeah because we're you're in new mexico i'm in atlanta and we don't have the kind of i mean this for real we don't have the kind of budgets where we can just go hey let's take privates and meet each other in austin no it's cool it's we're they're we're really kind of just trying to get shit done yeah

And they're like, what's Tom doing?

And I go, I don't fucking summon the movie.

And you know how I don't listen.

And then I go, it's fucking like El Tigray or something.

And all of a a sudden, everyone's ears perked up.

This is what's cool about this movie.

And we can edit this out if you want.

This movie, this script has been around for like 20 years.

Like, not quite 20, but probably a dozen.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And every huge movie star has tried to get it made.

Yeah.

Everyone has wanted to do this script.

And at some point, it just falls through the cracks for everyone.

It is everyone.

has tried to get this everyone fucking when i say everyone you go that guy yes him Everyone has tried.

And now you're making that movie.

I'm making that movie.

And I'm so fucking excited.

Because it's going to be sad.

I know that.

I'm not even saying the premise.

I don't know if you can say the premise.

Yeah.

But like, it is a great premise.

It is a great premise for you.

It's very, it's a very appeal.

Like, when I read it, it's so funny.

The two writers, Teddy Riley, Aaron Bauschbaum, wrote it.

And it was like their first thing they ever wrote.

Now they've done a bunch of like TV, animation, and a bunch of script like they have a bunch of stuff going on now but this was their first script and it's like it was it was tied up somewhere you know there was like studio you had to kind of like break it it was a whole thing but we finally got it and ltigray is um it's a cartel comedy i can tell you that like it's it's so funny when i when i read it i was like oh my god i would love to make this movie i i actually cannot believe that we're really making it a lot of people can't believe you're making it.

A lot of people are excited for the movie to come out.

A lot of people are like pumped.

And the fact that, like, I feel like after watching Bad Thoughts, I know all your strengths.

I know what you're good at.

I know like you're just such a talented actor.

Oh, thanks.

And it's going to be fun.

I'm so excited for it.

Well,

so we were thinking that,

you know, you have your show.

I have this movie.

We're both off the grid, so to speak.

We want to keep podcasts coming out.

So we thought a fun thing to do would be: why don't we ask some friends to do episodes for us?

Yeah.

And we have so many great friends that do podcasts

that,

you know, we can lean into that are, you know, either in Austin or New York or LA.

So we thought it'd be fun for you guys to get into the comments right now and tag who you'd love to see as guest bears.

Yeah.

And then

we'll read all of those.

And then Tom and I are going to pick who we want and not care who you want.

Right.

We'll, we'll see your suggestions.

We'll see them, but we aren't going to listen to them.

We'll, we'll, eventually we'll just listen to our own hearts.

Yeah.

And we'll pick people.

We'll pick Chris DeStefano and Stobby.

Okay.

That's it.

By the way, two of the funniest fucking dudes in the world.

Yeah.

Two of our favorite.

Honestly, they're two.

Like we said,

who do you want?

And I mean, I just, I think Chris DeStefano is the funniest guy on the podcast.

Oh, my God.

Everything he ever says makes me laugh.

He is so fucking quick.

He played Blackjack with me this weekend.

We were both in Atlantic City.

Yeah.

And he'd never played Blackjack before.

And he was doing, it's just like that thing when you're like, do you know what you're doing?

And it's like, no.

And he's, you know,

taking a hit on 18 and he gets a three, like shit like that.

And you're like, what the fuck, man?

Like, just killing it and then lost it all.

But he was doing just incredible.

And he was so ridiculous.

Oh.

Like with the deal.

I was just like crying, laughing.

He is one of the funniest human beings, top to bottom, that I've ever seen.

And I just watched an episode of him and Stavi together.

Yeah.

They were talking about Catholic school.

Yeah.

And it was, and Stavi

is my spirit animal.

I fucking, he makes me giggle harder than anyone.

So funny.

And, and we thought we'd, that's who we want.

So we'll go, we're going to call them.

Yeah, what are we, should we call one now?

I'll call, I'll call Chrissy this time.

Face time.

Let's see here.

Um, and we'll see if they can get them to do we maybe maybe four episodes, just four episodes while we're shooting our shows.

Yeah, I know, I'm gone for two months, Tom's gone for two months.

Should we FaceTime or just FaceTime?

No one fucking phone calls anybody.

You know, FaceTiming for fucking Father's Day, who?

Shaq, he did.

That's awesome.

Yeah,

cough sounds good.

That's yeah,

had it for 10 weeks.

Let's see.

Huh.

10-week cough is pretty cool.

Yeah.

Is that long COVID?

Is that what that's?

It's long COVID.

I've lost my sense of smell and sense of taste.

Okay.

I've had COVID for quite a while now.

How many years?

This is my 10th time getting COVID.

And yeah, I think I might have the record.

All right.

Well,

this is what happened when I FaceTimed.

Was that fucking who you said?

Face-timing?

DeSefano.

You want to try Stavi?

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Hey, Siri, FaceTime Stavi.

Scott Stapp.

Yeah, sure.

Why not?

What's FaceTime Scott Stapp?

Oh, here's Chris.

Here's Chris.

Oh, hold on.

God damn it.

Hey, handsome.

Hey, what's up, man?

Sorry.

Sorry, I missed the call.

It was sexual.

That's cool.

We are doing a podcast.

Look, it's me and Bert.

We're telling the audience here that you're going to be doing.

What's up, Chris?

What's up, Bert?

We're telling people that you guys are going to be doing some guest episodes for us.

So everyone here is excited.

Yes, I'm pumped to do it with, I believe I'm with Starbros.

Perfect.

And I'm also happy to be on FaceTime with Bert Kreiser Speed.

Yeah, there they are.

He's got fresh painted nails.

He's real excited, dude.

I love it, dude.

But Mahomes on Dami would love that.

So we're gonna every day, every week, we're gonna send you guys five talking points we want to hear you guys talk about, and then you can talk about whatever.

Amazing, dude.

I'm gonna do all that, and then I'm gonna yell fucking lightning strike at the end of every episode.

How was the 430 show in Atlantic City?

The 430 show in Atlantic City was what we like to call in the business a mistake.

Was it a disaster?

Well, it was

fun.

Well, I mean, for me, I was having fun because I was on Rogue Nicotine.

So I was

literally flying.

Dude, this is how crazy Rogue Nicotine made me.

Maybe actually have sex with a woman.

That's crazy.

So Jasmine and I had sex because I was on Rogue Nicotine.

Yeah.

And it was,

that was that 4.30 show.

I was happy to all the people who came.

Tickets Tickets were nice, but I mean, one of his dancers to do a show at 4:30 in Atlantic City, spinning off nicotine.

Yeah, dude, because those days you did Tommy get you hooked,

huh?

Did Tommy get you hooked?

Tommy got me fucking hooked.

And now, and I'm telling you what, if I was on rogue nicotine looking at this right now, I'd be coming in my pants.

Look at that, look at that, look at that.

Shirtless dude, and fucking what?

Oh, hell yeah, dude.

Nice, nice V.

Yeah.

So now Jazz is probably trying to get you on those rogues since you become attracted to her.

100%, man.

I was letting it fly in there.

I was going, it was crazy, dude.

Good.

I was calling my, yeah, I was calling my, I was calling my little bunk buster.

Yeah, that's cool.

That's awesome, man.

So cool, man.

Fucking New York is so cool.

It's the best.

Well, look, we're super excited, dude.

We love you.

Thank you for doing those episodes for us.

We couldn't be more excited.

I appreciate it, man.

Hopefully, Alan Alti will keep texting me.

I'm sad, too.

All right.

I'll talk to you soon, bro.

All right.

Bye.

Oh, my God.

He's sexy.

I want to get adult acne on my cheeks.

On your cheeks?

Yeah, like right here and right here.

I'm like, I put pimple patches on them.

I don't even think those fucking things work.

Are those ingrown hairs maybe?

I think they might be.

One was Stubby's.

I have a feeling Stubby's sleeping.

I think he's on set.

Oh, are they shooting?

I think he's doing something, yeah.

Well, we'll.

He might call you back.

He'll call back, but we've got Stobby.

We've got Chris.

Yeah.

They're our Summer Bears.

They're doing us a favor.

And it's very cool of them.

So go check out.

I mean, Stubby's amazing in fucking tires.

Yes.

Episode seven of Tires is.

My favorite episode of television I've ever seen.

I was so impressed by that.

That series got so.

matter.

Oh, is that Stobby's number?

I was giving it out to everyone.

I was so impressed by this season of tires.

It was so good.

Really?

Yeah, yeah.

I texted.

I mean,

it was really good.

Anyway, let's, you know, you know what I was thinking?

You know what's crazy?

I don't know.

This is a weird thought, but I was looking at like

at like

when we were comics versus when these guys are comics, and I feel like really when we were comics.

When we were, God.

When we were new comics?

No, when we were their age.

Oh.

Like, when we were their age?

Like, what's Chris?

32?

Chris?

Stephanie?

Yeah.

No, he's like 40.

No.

Yeah, he's like 44.

No, he was no fucking.

No, he's 40.

Okay.

Yeah.

But like, whatever happened to the middle class of comedy?

The middle class.

Like the middle class.

Like when we were, when we were like, how about this?

Forget ages.

When we were like 12 years in,

15 years in, 12 years in,

everyone was doing clubs.

Yeah.

Everyone was making $2,500.

Right.

And there was, and, and maybe the most,

maybe guys were making $6,000.

Maybe guys were making $25,000, but there weren't a lot of people making crazy money.

And then all of a sudden, Something happened with comedy.

I don't know if it was podcasting, but the wage gap is just so far.

It's so enormous.

There's no middle class anymore.

Like even like these guys are all doing arenas and huge theaters and shit like that.

Like it's kind of crazy to me.

And I was wondering, what do you think?

I mean, and then like the other day on Saturday, on Sunday, I'm sitting in my backyard and I'm not working.

You know, I'm having coffee.

I have nothing to do on Sunday.

And I open the New York Times app.

And three of my friends are in the New York Times.

Yeah.

And they're not, and they're,

I mean, I mean, I mean, like, they're, they're all doing very, very big things, but they're not like 30-year comics.

We're not talking about Seinfeld.

It was Shane, Schultz, and Dave Smith are all in the New York Times.

Separately.

Separately.

Separately.

Shane, I mean,

I didn't read the articles, but I only read Dave Smith's article.

But I didn't read the articles.

I don't, you know.

Yeah.

I don't know.

If it's positive or negative, I don't want it to affect.

You don't know what the articles were even about?

Schultz was, I think

Schultz reposted his.

That's where I caught it.

It was about Schultz being,

I really don't know.

Okay.

I really didn't.

I mean, I kind of glanced at him.

Shade was Shane's about his show?

Yeah, about, yeah, but I think it was good.

Okay.

And what was the Dave?

This is a great Dave.

The Dave one.

Yeah.

He's, he's America's foremost political journalist.

That's what the majority of it was all about.

He's like a political journalist now.

Schultz is.

So is Theo, and so is Dave.

Dave's was a negative piece.

I started reading Dave's.

I like Dave.

I always, I mean, I don't know Dave's politics.

I don't know if they always line up with mine, but I like Dave's opinions.

I really like Dave's opinions.

Right.

Because I know he thinks about the things he says.

He doesn't just say shit wild.

He doesn't just, like, you know.

There he is.

He died.

He's dead.

He died at 72.

Shit.

That's cool.

It's a different.

I didn't even know he was in the synthesizers like that.

I don't know.

It's a different Dave Smith.

Okay.

So maybe it's the, I don't know, know, Dave Smith.

It's got to be Dave Smith.

I just read it Sunday.

Okay.

Maybe do

Dave Smith comedian.

Yeah.

I would definitely say something about Iran.

Really?

Yeah.

Okay.

Never mind.

Anyway, I read it.

Okay.

You did read this one.

Yeah, I read.

I started reading.

I didn't read the whole fucking thing.

Right.

Okay.

I i don't like and then the it was the tilt to the article that was a negative spin it was a negative spin it was and it was it was basically saying that like that like uh

this i'm this is why i don't talk about politics i don't read the whole article right and so like

national review it was national national review and it was just saying that like

podcasters shouldn't be talking about politics, podcasters shouldn't be interviewing politicians, podcasters.

Oh, wow.

The remarkable idiocy.

that's a pretty aggressive headline man well he went he went head-to-head with this guy on rogan yeah that got a lot of traction that was a huge

traction and uh that douglas murray that was the guy right the guy with the problem is doug i guess douglas it's like

dave is i mean i always thought i always think of dave is just a comic a really smart comic this guy douglas murray is not a comic he's just a smart dude So if you got to juggle two occupations, this guy just does one occupation.

Yeah.

So he's just, it's it's like you don't go head to head with a guy that knows how to fucking argue.

Well, I think he, he, a lot of people thought he, I mean, I, I,

I saw the response to that.

And it was kind of the way most things go online these days, where there was a split amongst how people, like some people were

100% on Douglas' side, but I saw a lot of people.

A lot of people were pro-Dave.

Yo, a lot.

And by the way, Dave's holding his ground with a guy that's smart as shit.

And Dave's smart as shit, but they just have different opinions.

And here's the weird thing: I was thinking about all this, like, all this is like, this business has gotten so bizarre, so crazy that you're like, that they're saying a guy like Dave shouldn't be talking about Iran and the U.S.

and Trump.

He shouldn't even be talking about it.

But then I was like, I was like, this is where I got kind of, hold up.

But why did when they hire like Don Lemon or, you know, like one of those things?

Yeah.

Like, do they, do they, do they like, are they qualified?

When you, when you get hired as a news reporter, right?

Are you like, because you get hired as like out of college?

Like, oh, I took journalism in college, right?

But I'm not like, I just am good looking.

I have a full head of hair and I have my, my, I have a hyphen in my name, uh, Martinez Vivada.

And they're like, oh, she's good.

She'll, she'll fill that hole.

Right.

And then they hire her.

And then she works her way up.

She goes, yo, lose the hyphen.

Let's just go to the fucking today show.

And now she's just

Brooklyn College and Louisiana State University.

It's not like, I mean, I'm very good at colleges, but it's not like,

it's not like he's saying he's magna cum laude.

It's not the smartest guy at college.

No, no.

Usually, typically for these people, what happens is you get local jobs first, right?

You go small market and you're reporting on the parade.

in town.

And you get lucky with one thing.

Sometimes, yeah, and you, and you progress well, and then you go to a bigger market.

You know, it's like a step-by-step thing.

And then sometimes you get on the like the national scale.

And then you get moved over and you're like, they're like, do you want to do weather?

And you hold out.

You're like, no, no, no, no, I want to do mornings.

Yeah.

And then you hold out and you get CNN.

And then you are considered a qualified journalist because you got cast.

I mean, you got cast.

You didn't, you didn't, you don't earn it.

There's no, there's no

meritocracy in becoming a journalist.

You get, you get cast, correct?

Well, I don't know if there's no meritocracy.

I'm going to argue there's zero.

Zero?

Zero.

Zero.

You know what it is?

What?

Did people tune in?

I mean, I guess that's the meritocracy right there.

But it's not like a professional football player who earns his position, right?

Yeah.

It is, you get, you get cast.

You get cast.

Well, yeah, you definitely need

a higher up to be like, yes, you.

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yeah yeah and so you're over let me turn around again let me look at your ass but but that's my problem is like

I'll say, let's just say, for argument's sake, 50%

of newscasters, 50

are like

100% qualified.

And then 50%

have great teeth, have good hair.

Now, you make a good point, actually.

There's completely underqualified people reporting the news all the time.

And if you, and now, now we're, no, I'm just talking about CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, the top ones, right?

Fox News, MSNBC, those ones.

Now, if we take that and trickle it all the way down to locals all around the country,

those numbers are going to be astoundingly different.

It's going to be 90% are unqualified to speak on camera about anything policy related and 10% are.

Well, you can see when they just sometimes they've gotten so lazy in interviews that you see the journalist is clearly just regurgitating what a producer told them.

And they're not even well-versed in the subject matter.

They'll just go, how about this?

That producer doesn't even want to be producing news.

The cameramen don't want to be shooting camera news.

I know that because I've worked with guys who are like, thank God, I got out of news.

Right.

No one wants to be doing news.

So you got a bunch of people phoning it in.

And then you have people like Dave Smith, for argument's sake, who isn't phoning it in.

He's doing the research.

He's passionate about it.

He loves it.

And you have people criticizing, saying he should shut the fuck up.

He's a comic.

And you're like, well, then

what is our litmus here that we're gonna argue who should talk and who shouldn't talk now listen i personally do not speak because i know i don't have anything positive i wouldn't say you don't speak you speak quite a bit i'm speaking about stuff i'm qualified to talk about and that's this like i'm not gonna tell you about iran and iraq or we or you know what i mean right where where do you where do you think we're having trouble right now it's the goddamn fucking Middle East, man.

Yeah.

It's always been our prize.

This is the Middle East.

My cheeks are the Middle East.

Right.

They're red as fuck.

There's bumps everywhere.

You can't trust them.

They wake.

Sometimes you just

fucking.

It's, I don't know.

I don't, I'm not really sure.

Okay.

Yeah.

You ready, Burt Chrysler's talking politics.

Yeah, let's hear it.

So

I ran

Iran.

It's probably better to go with Iran.

I ran

three miles today.

There you go.

Iran.

I did run.

Three miles.

Great.

I ran.

I swam.

I did it all.

i ran iraq i ran uh

so iran iran

had enriched plutonium

and that's and that means you're gonna make nuclear arms these are the only things i researched yeah google how many nuclear uh warheads every country has russia has the most yeah russia went into like

overdrive overdrive like uh as soon as they no there's a there's an actual uh chart two images i'm sure.

Oh, there it is.

There, that's the chart.

Countries with nuclear weapons.

So, like, Pakistan is up there.

India's up there.

United Kingdom's close with Pakistan, which is ironic because I think they used to run Pakistan.

China has got 500, which makes me sleep better at night.

United States could have roughly 1,000 more, in my opinion, so that we're head-to-head with Russia.

Well, at one point, you know, it was...

10 times the amount.

And we started taking them apart.

Yeah, we started to reduce our, both Russia and the U.S.

did.

We had just crazy amounts of nukes and it was basically a conjoined effort to reduce the amount that we had.

North Korea, are these nukes, this is a crazy question.

Are they locked and loaded or they go like, well, we got to put it together, but then we could put it together and then send it.

That's a good question.

I would think that some are ready to rock at any time.

They're not like, it's not like, it's not like, oh, no, I have a folding table, but I got to go to the garage and get it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

I'm not comfortable with North Korea, who's got 50, but how many did

Iraq have?

Iran.

Iran?

Iran.

Well, Iran doesn't have any.

Oh, but.

But the whole thing,

the idea that has been thrown around at this point forever is that they're so close to having them, right?

Somebody they're going to get 10.

Well, we don't know, but you know where they're going to use them.

They were saying, you know, like Israel was saying, like, oh, it's, you know, at different times in the last decade plus, they've been like, they're years away, they're months away, they're weeks away, they're days away.

Like, it's just kind of this cycle of, like, they're close, they're close.

They're always talking about how close they are.

And then, you know, the U.S.

also participates in that.

And then most recently,

our

director of national intelligence said, yeah, they're not.

Not the 22-year-old Gardner.

No.

Okay, no.

That's Tulsi Gabbard.

Tulsi Gabbard's, for real?

Is our director of national intelligence?

Fucking shout out to Tulsi.

Yeah, Tulsi is.

I didn't know that.

I fucking love Tulsi.

Keep going.

I love Tulsi.

Yeah.

So.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

If Tulsi said it, I'm cool.

She said they are not close.

And then Trump said, she's wrong.

And then

he went ahead and bombed these facilities because he was like, they were so close to having these bombs.

And this is like not a new

debate whether they're close.

But the idea now is that, that, you know, he bombs those facilities and then he's like, and now is the time for peace.

And it's like, you just bombed them.

So, I mean, who knows?

But we're also.

But they never had one in the first place.

They did not have one.

It's almost like if your kids never had ice cream and you buy ice cream, but you drop it, they're not going to know what they missed.

And this is what the president should say.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, guys, they never had them in the first place.

I just bombed them.

Now they still never have them.

We've completed our, it is kind of fucked up that he said it on Twitter and didn't tell his staff he was like just read my twitter guys guys yeah

three nuclear sites in iran including fordao nataz estafan all planes are now outside the iran airspace and that full payload of bombs was dropped on the primary sites

all planes are safely on the way home to great american warriors There's not another military in the world that could have done this.

Well, Russia, I probably could have done it.

Now is the time for peace.

Thank you for your attention.

Those matters.

I've never heard somebody do quite that.

Like, we just bombed the shit out of a place.

Now it's peacetime.

It's like coming back from a strip club covered in glitter going, I'm ready to settle down now.

Now, nobody else do anything.

I blew five loads in five different strippers.

Let's fucking go.

Let's go.

Let's settle down.

Yeah, so I don't know, man.

I mean, I'm in favor.

Obviously, we're talking about, I like, I mean, I think everybody should be able to speak about anything they want.

I think so, too.

So I think 100%.

hundred percent.

And also, I'm not against somebody who's so much more qualified.

Uh, telling somebody, shut the fuck up, yeah, putting me in my place and say, like, you know what you're saying.

Okay, then you get to say that.

I almost welcome it.

I was called my dad.

Yeah, our dads.

My dad would fucking tell me, shut the fuck up, you don't know what you're saying.

And that's why I don't go like, go speak wildly about things.

Or, you know what I'm saying?

I have, I have the,

I sort of sense he might still say that.

There's a video video clip

of a friend I won't say our friend but a friend of ours yeah a good friend uh

not who everyone thinks is the one but another one and he's he someone's like says something to him and he just yells free Palestine my dad sent me that clip he's like I know you like this guy I know this guy's a funny guy don't you fucking say a word about Palestine or Israel out loud ever this is very you're this is not in your goddamn league you don't what the fuck you don't know what the fuck you're saying you don't know what you don't know a goddamn thing so shut your fucking mouth and i was like thanks theo

one guy says one thing and my dad gets mad at me you it's so funny

no i fucking i'll tell you what where my uh where i get like really uh

passionate yeah like this is like because it because it applies to me did you see the hot air balloon crash i read about it i didn't see it i didn't see it Pull it.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Dude, and this is, I can speak.

I can speak with expertise on this.

Hot air balloons are fucking sketchy as fuck.

Yeah.

Okay, that's just the crash.

Shit.

That's not, you don't want to be.

That's.

That's not good.

No.

So, wait, hold on.

So some people live, though, in that?

No, no, no, no.

No one lived.

No one lived.

No one lived.

Hang on.

You got to show the people dropping from the balloon.

Oh, cool, man.

You're not usually this fun.

Hang on.

People are.

So that's when it's starting to go sideways.

I don't know what.

Well, probably because we're on NBC site.

Yeah, yeah.

So they're not going to make it.

You got to go on like Twitter.

Go to the dark web.

If you go to Twitter, they're not going to edit anything.

Go to X, excuse me.

So

here's the thing I'll say

about a hot air balloon.

Yeah.

It's like the first guy, I mean, when you, I just, I just listened to a podcast about the first guy to fucking go up in a hot air balloon.

The first guy?

First guy in like fucking France.

Okay.

And they were like, and he just,

he thought it was smoke that took the thing up because smoke rise rises.

And smoke rises because it's hot.

But he thought it was smoke.

So we filled it with smoke.

And he went up like 3,000 feet the very first time.

Can you imagine that?

Yeah, that's the very first time.

He just fucking skyrocketed.

And then he came down in the middle of a field.

He was like, that's amazing.

So then he did a bunch of them.

And then one time he got shut down because they were like, because right around World War I

and they were like, this is German.

He ends up dying.

He ends up dying.

On that?

In another one.

But you couldn't, he tried to cross the.

This is also, I listened to this podcast.

This is how little I retain.

He tried to cross the

Berings, not the Bering Strait, the

over to England

and got out

channel and British channel.

And then they pushed him back so he was like this is there's no way to fucking control this thing yeah and that is the problem with hot air balloons okay is this guy's falling from it holy

bro

wow

so you're seeing people fall out of it there's i don't know how we're not there's if some if there was a man running this

joking i'm joking i'm joking

No, there, first of all, if you type hot air balloon, all you're going to see is everyone's terrifying experience in a hot air balloon.

Hot air balloons, and this is Burt Chrysler.

I've written a few, are fucking sketchy as fuck.

Okay.

You have, Tom, you have like fucking five

propane tanks in there, and then you have a torch that just goes, releases a fucking flamethrower's amount of flame into a huge balloon.

Just

have you ever sat at a restaurant too close to the heaters and your head starts to burn?

Yes.

It's like that times 100 in a hot air balloon.

You're sitting under a heater just,

it's loud as fuck.

I've done it a few times.

Here's the sketchiest part.

You can't steer it.

Right.

So you kind of hope it goes where you want it to go.

I have seen one go into power lines before.

Power lines?

Yeah.

The first time I rode a hot air balloon, the guy goes, all right,

this is going to be a sketchy landing because he can't pick where he lands.

We landed in a bank parking lot.

Really?

There were cars driving around.

Would you do it again?

No, never.

Never in a million fucking years.

I did the biggest day in the world of hot air balloons they have in new, in New Mexico, and there's tons of accidents there.

This isn't even the one.

This is just hot air balloon accidents are all over every place.

It is the sketchiest form of air travel you can ever pick.

And it is crazy.

And when you do it,

all that's in my feed are people in a hot air balloon because a lot of times they'll go, get on the ground and brace for impact because they're coming in.

You can't pick how slow you come in.

I know there's a hot air balloon enthusiast listening to this who's outraged.

Yes.

But he knows I'm fucking right and he's wrong.

Well, he knows that I'm assuming that like the more you kind of give that heat, right?

It's going to so you're going to slow down your descent.

Yes.

You start giving it.

So they feather it on the way down so that it's, but at a certain point, they got to land and they got to land within an area.

So when we landed in the bank parking lot, we went to land and he goes, everyone on the out, hold on to the outside and jump off so jump off so now you're climb out and your feet are on the outside you're holding on and he's coming in at like let's just say let's just say uh

i just for argument's sake seven miles an hour okay

go to a treadmill turn it on a seven

and then i want you to stand on the side and then just jump on the treadmill with both feet and see how you fucking tumble so wait that's how you jump that's how you landed you you hang out the outside he he had us, because he's like, this is going to be bad.

So just, it's better for you to jump and roll than to just sit in here and we're on travel channel.

We're on travel channel with fucking people who are like, and so we had to jump out of the fucking hot air balloon.

How'd that feel?

Oh, it's fucking

put.

Did you skydive too?

Yeah, skydive twice.

I mean, listen, I know that people are passionate about it.

I just,

it's the fucking, it's not, it's not for me.

It's not for me.

And I'll say, I should just say hot air balloons aren't for me, but they're not for me because I'm not, I don't have a death wish.

Like, I mean, just, it's like, and I know I'm probably going to get hate from the hot air balloon community.

It's a pretty fucking wild popular community, but they have to agree there is a certain air of sketchiness about it.

Yeah, that, in that, you can't, it's, first of all, I got to tell you, it's fucking crazy to be up.

See how high hot air balloons go.

To be up 5,000 feet and just looking at the, especially in New Mexico, and up with 7,000 feet.

They go up to 7,000 feet.

Jesus Christ.

Look at the altitude record.

It's 68,000 feet.

That's way

dude, type in Hot Air Balloon Festival, New Mexico.

This is the one we did.

And it's, Tom, it's crazy because everyone's got their balloons laid out, right?

And then they have to have their heat source kind of angled.

So they're like, oh my God.

That's what we did.

Now, do you know how fucking wild landings are is when you're in a fucking sea of hot air balloons

yeah some people come in hot right you got it like not everyone's here's the crazy part is not a not as many people as you'd think die in hot air balloons but people get hurt yeah when we were in i was in a helicopter like a couple months ago and i'm sitting up there with the guy he's like yeah you know he's looking out he's like you know you always remember that you're just like you're always just a couple seconds away from dying And I was like, yeah.

And then he goes,

yeah, you know, birds, right?

Birds are what's going to kill us.

So just look out for any birds.

I was like, yeah, dude, for sure.

And yeah, and then I go, when do you feel like at peace?

And he's like, when we're back on the ground.

Look at this, Tom.

This is it, Tom.

Look.

This is when it catches fire.

Oh, my God.

And that's a guy holding on.

Okay.

And then that guy goes goes to hold on.

Oh my god!

Oh my god!

That's not a fun volume.

Oh my god,

that guy's okay, the guy that fell.

That's horrific.

That's that guy.

What

that's really crazy.

They survived this.

Hang on, 13 survivors?

That's insane, bro.

That's the worst.

If you're telling me right now, I want to recant everything I just said.

If you're telling me there's 13 survivors from this accident, then this is the safest way to travel in the air.

That's crazy.

If you're telling me 13 people survived.

Did you see the one survivor from the India?

Yeah.

What?

22 people were in that?

Yeah.

They joked at early morning.

Oh,

okay.

Like before, that's misleading.

Like right when it started catching fire 20 feet, they're like, hey, let's get out.

And these guys are like, don't worry, we'll put it out.

Is this them turning it on?

Oh, let's see this.

No way.

Look at that.

First of all, look at the flame, the heat source is just sketchy in my opinion.

All of a sudden, you just start going and then you don't go and then you go.

I would jump right now.

I was going to say, like, who, this is just terrible, man.

Well,

it sucks for everyone, including.

Well, when did they jump?

Really?

The fire started before this.

That's so fucked up, man.

That is so fucking crazy.

Wait, what's your look for the guy that survived the India crash?

Hmm?

Do we think it's real?

You think that's real?

Everyone died except for him, huh?

Everyone.

Everyone.

Everyone died.

Person who survived the crash is Vishwash Kumar Ramesh.

You are.

Okay.

He's got a couple of scratches on him.

That's tough.

Right, so hit that show more, if you would.

So he was the only passenger to survive the Air India Flight 171.

Um,

he described his survival as a miracle, unable to fully explain how he made it out.

He was seated in 11A, an exit row seat, which made

he was really on the plane.

That's like they have a ticket, yeah, they have the ticket, yeah.

Yeah,

if that's true, then I think I could survive a plane crash.

You think you could?

I got that energy.

That's insane.

Yeah, I mean, I know it makes no sense.

I mean, it's, it's just, it's like, it's like, for real?

I mean, like, usually things like this are too good to be true.

I know.

And then you find out, no, he was just a guy on top of the mouth.

That's like, that's him in the moment, right there, the one in the middle, the first row.

He's walking in the middle.

Yeah.

I mean, everything

right after the crash.

Everyone else

was incinerated.

Yeah.

And he just was like.

I don't understand it either.

He just double-dutched out of it.

Yeah.

Well,

that's him.

Yeah.

He still has his drink in his hand.

Someone's like, I remember, he's like, get the fuck off me.

I remember that.

He's got his cell phone in his hand.

I wonder if he was on his cell phone and take off, and that's what brought the plane down.

He's in good shape.

What can he possibly be upset about?

I don't know.

People touching him.

I don't know.

He's got probably jet fuel burning on him, dude.

No, no, he doesn't.

No, he had burns to his face.

Oh, for real?

Yeah.

But it wasn't like Travis Barker's playing Crash Where He Survived, where they were on the ground, you know?

No.

Like they were,

they dropped from the sky onto a building, correct?

Everybody burned to nothing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Look at the

aftermath of that crash, dude.

I mean,

I don't, I know, I don't understand it either.

It just.

And so he was saying the 11A just opened up and he just stepped out of it?

I don't know.

I don't get it.

Well, there is the story.

Did you ever hear the story of the little girl who dropped out of an airplane into the Amazon?

Yes.

And lived there for like 70 days.

There's a few, there's a few people that have

fell like 30,000 feet.

Yeah.

And in their seat, like woke up, which is fucking nuts.

Crazy.

Yeah.

There's one woman.

There's a flight attendant who the plane exploded and she was in the back of the plane and she rolled the, she landed on an.

so apparently if you land on an incline

you live what do you mean like if you can land on an incline you can live okay so it like

she landed on an incline so it kind of she didn't like hit like solid she kind of just went

so it kind of like it's like landing on a on a on like a uh it's like dropping into a half pipe yeah and so that's what how one lady lived i don't know how that i don't know how the girl on the amazon lived

Yeah, that story, I've read, it's unbelievable.

I think her parents are on that, in that crash and died.

Yeah.

So she was their, like the sole survivor of that family.

Oh, yeah.

We were in a helicopter one time and the guy said to me, the girl in there was terrified and she did mountain rescue in Denver.

And I was like, I was like, you should be having fun.

It's trip flip.

Let me open some champagne.

She goes, I lost eight friends in a helicopter crash last week.

And I was like, oh, wow.

That's crazy.

I go, well, what are the odds that's going to happen two weeks in a row, Right.

She was like, huh?

And she was like, it's just all it takes is one screw.

One screw, and the whole thing goes to shit.

I go, that's not true.

It's got to be more complicated than that.

And I go to the guy, I go, isn't that right, sir?

And he goes, no, she's right.

One screw and we go down.

Like, oh, fuck.

I thought there would be more fail-safe than that.

Yeah, this is Julianne Kopec.

I don't know how to say it.

In 71, at the age of 17, she was the sole survivor of Lanza 508, which was struck by lightning and disintegrated over the Peruvian Amazon.

She fell nearly two miles

while still strapped to her seat.

That's right.

After the crash, she spent 11 days alone in the jungle, battling injuries, hunger, and thirst before being rescued by lumberjacks.

Her incredible survival story was the subject of documentaries, books, and films, including Wings of Hope.

It happened on Christmas Eve.

Christmas Eve?

Yeah, her and her mother were on a flight from Lima

and they were struck by lightning.

The plane broke apart.

It's so crazy.

She plummeted nearly two miles.

She managed to navigate the jungle for 11 days.

She found a bag of sweets.

Wow.

It's just

all I hear out of this is so that you're telling me the crap, the explosion doesn't kill you?

I mean, so like, you're telling me everyone that's been in a plane crash, their death happens on the floor.

Not all.

It just depends on the circumstances of that crash.

But this one is really crazy, man.

I've flown in some of the sketchiest planes in the world.

I flew on a plane in Tanzania where

I said, will there be, I said to the lady up front, I said, will there be

a bottle, like a service for drinks on the flight?

And she was like, no.

And I said, well, what if we have a fear of flying?

She goes, you don't like flying?

I said, no.

And she goes, I would get yourself some beer and bring it on.

And I was like, I can bring beer on the plane.

And she goes, oh, yeah.

She goes, I wouldn't advertise it, but I would get some beers.

And I said, how many could I bring on?

And she goes, as many as you can carry.

So I was like, okay.

In my head, I'm like, I'm sitting in first class.

It's going to be, you know, it can't be that bad.

I wish I had an actual picture of this.

I wish I'd taken a picture of this.

I went and I got six tall boys, like big ones, right?

Put them in my backpack.

And I get on the plane.

We had to order, we had to enter from the back of the plane.

And as I walked up,

I i go to my seat 1b aisle seat

and all our luggage is netted in front of me nice all of the luggage is in front of the whole plane so the whole plane is netted just netted in front of me and i went oh my god

how long is this flight i was i was tanzania ethiopia or tanzania to i don't know it was tanzania somewhere It was fucking Africa.

Okay.

And

I remember just being like,

oh my, this is the worst flight I could ever.

I had to have taken a picture of it.

I'll see if I can find it.

If I can find it, I'll post it.

I've been on some of these.

Yes, you have.

Oh, yeah.

Your mom grew up on these.

No, I took a bunch of these, like, flew to like, uh, to the jungle, to Iquitos, and like to

Pisco and like all these places in like little puddle jumpers, man.

Yeah, I've been on some shady ones for sure.

It's crazy to think that you, that I thought the pop up here kills everybody.

I tell you about the time when we uh

so

my uncle in Peru set me up.

He was like, do you want to go see the

you ever hear you ever heard of the

they're called linas de Nazca, the lines of Nazca?

If you put in the lines of Nazca, this is like a phenomenon.

They consider it, these are huge images that you can only see from the sky, right?

So there's like, this is like kind of like one of those things where they go, aliens did it.

Oh, I thought they were jogging paths.

Well, if you if you're on the ground, you don't know that you're

it's enormous, right?

So you wouldn't know that you're standing on that if you were on the ground.

You don't you wouldn't know that that image is there.

You can only see it from the sky, right?

Because that's to see that on the ground, you'd be like, oh, it's a, it's a line, but you wouldn't know.

the entire layout of it, right?

So from the sky, you see this monkey and the spider or whatever, all these images.

So he's like, you want to go see the lines?

I go, yeah.

And my dad is in Peru, right?

So

he's down there visiting me when I'm down there.

And he's like, do you want to come with?

And he's like, yeah, I'd like to go see that.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

So they get a police plane, which is like,

Two pilots and there's four seats in the back, I think.

It was a small plane.

They confiscated it from cartel people, and they just like put, you know, police on the side.

And these are, these are unbelievable, by the way, to see these.

The best way to actually see them is in a chopper because then you can like hover.

But we're in this this plane,

and we go and we fly around.

We're seeing them like that crazy bird.

And because there's no, they don't actually have the explanation of like, here's who did this.

So people theorize that it could be, you know,

however many thousands of years old.

And, you know, like I said, aliens did it or ancient

tribal people did it.

All that being said, then my, we're flying back, and my dad's like, I need to pee.

And

I'm like,

there's no bathroom on this plane.

Well, I got to go.

I'm like,

okay.

So I have to like tap the military person's, the pilot's thing.

I go, hey, my dad has to pee.

And they're like, I'm sorry.

And I'm like, dad, didn't you go?

He's like, I did go, but I got to go again.

You know, I'm like,

I'm like, hey, he's got to pee.

And they're like,

you know, they're like, okay.

So they just find like an airstrip, just like

an abandoned airstrip somewhere.

And we land.

And My dad gets out with his fucking khakis and loafers and just pisses on the side.

And then he's about to get back on, and they're like, Hey, uh, how about he grab one of those empty oil cans?

Unless he has to, since you might have to pee again, yeah.

It's like, hey, dad, grab that empty oil can.

He's like, All right, and then you know, it gets back on.

He goes, I mean, what do you mean?

What are you doing?

I gotta, I gotta pee.

Like, it's fucking a man.

This is humiliating.

Do you know what I got for my birthday that I should enjoy with you?

What?

For Christmas, I have a ride in a ghetto bird.

Like, you know how you do ride-alongs in top cars?

I got to ride along in a helicopter, in a police helicopter.

That's awesome.

To follow like a high-speed chase or some shit.

That's awesome.

You got that as a gift?

As a gift.

From who?

From,

I'm not going to say, but, but.

Wait, you can purchase this?

No.

No.

No, you got to, they got to allow it.

Right.

And it's just like a ride-along.

You can't just buy it.

And so I get to take one person.

Dude, take me.

You would love it.

I would fucking, I'm terrified.

Do you know who flies?

Do you have you got your pilot's license yet?

So do you know bare naked?

You remember bare naked ladies?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

It's been one week since you looked at me.

The lead singer, Ed, he flies.

They're on tour right now, and he flies city to city.

It's crazy.

It's so fucking cool that he goes.

I think it's the coolest too.

He does the show, spends the night, wakes up, takes his plane, flies flies to the next city.

He loves flying.

Oh, clearly.

You'd like that?

That's it.

Bare naked pilot.

And he posts them.

And it's what's crazy is how much knowledge you have to have to be able to fly.

He was like, we were supposed to go into Tango, Raleigh, NASCAR.

He flies solo.

He flies solo.

That's awesome.

He flies like everywhere, city to city.

That's really cool.

And it seems like he's like, we went into Kappa, Charlie, Lango, Tango.

Like, I can't even do the call letters.

Yeah.

These are, by the way, much, like for danger stuff, much safer than a chopper.

Oh, these planes?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I would never fly a helicopter.

Yeah.

I would never, I have no interest in flying a helicopter.

I don't understand the draw to a helicopter.

Well, the draw is accessibility.

What do you mean?

Like, you can access so many more areas.

Like, a plane, you got to keep going.

Oh, a tumbler you can just go.

Yeah, you can just hover anywhere.

And yeah, you can, you don't need an airstrip to get.

You can just like, is there a parking lot there?

Like, I told you, I know two guys that in Austin

who

commute every day,

seven days a week, when they're in Austin, only in their helicopters.

Really?

Yeah.

Because the law in Austin is like, if it's private property and you allow it,

then somebody can land there.

So basically, like, if you were like, yeah, you can land in my yard, then I'd be like, I'm going to Bert's, and I could just fly it and land in your backyard.

And so these guys do that, and they go to the fucking grocery store like this.

Yeah.

They must live out

in the sticks a little bit.

They live a little bit outside.

But it's not that bad if you have a helicopter fly you in.

Yeah, these guys are like, they're like, I go to dinner in it.

I go to the gym.

Like the one guy told me, he goes,

which was hilarious.

He's like, every time I go to the gym, there's somebody, like, some

person is like, excuse me, you can't land a helicopter here.

And he's like, actually, I can because I got permission from this is private property.

And then that person complaining calls the police.

And so, like, cops show up and they're like, what's going on?

And they're like, this fucking asshole just flew his helicopter here.

And then the cops go and they're like, yeah, he has permission.

And then they're like, oh.

He's like, it happens like every time.

We were in a helicopter in Madison, Wisconsin, and we were for trip flip we flew one once a week yeah for trip flip and uh we're going and we're gonna land in the middle of a clearing and uh in the middle of the woods in a clearing that's where we're gonna land and that's where we're gonna take off from it's beautiful and then instead of having to hike you know like three miles into the into the forest we're gonna land three miles inside the forest in a clearing and the pilot was had to be like 27.

And he was like, he was like, all right, do me a favor.

Look out the wind, look out the side, see if I have enough clearance for the tail.

And I look back and I go, I think so.

And he's like, you think so?

I go, yeah, I mean, I guess.

And he goes, all right, I think let's try it.

And then my sound guy, John Sales, goes, you, you don't, you don't.

It's just, let's just say you don't.

I'd rather hike three miles and see if you have clearance for your tail.

And we were like, I was like, yeah, good call.

What am I doing going?

Yeah.

I was like, wait, I'm not qualified to tell you if you have clearance for your tail.

No, no.

That's crazy that he's like, you're good.

Tell me if I have enough clearance for my tail.

And I'm like, I'm not the guy.

When I did a lesson in one with a super experienced pilot, he was telling, he had, I forget, 3,000 plus hours.

He was like, oh, yeah, last week I was in a different one.

And I, we landed in this one field and we were practicing.

So we would land and then I would take off, come around and then approach to land.

We were, we kept doing it.

He was like, yeah, I did this last week.

And I landed too hard and the tail rotor just snapped in half.

I was like, God.

So are there things that as a as a dad of young boys, you just can't do because they're dangerous and you don't want to, or do you just go?

Because like, I didn't have access to be able to take flying lessons or drive sports cars or drive a motorcycle or like, I had kids, but I was always, I never had the opportunity.

I mean, I never felt like,

oh my God, this is like, I didn't feel like this is so dangerous to do when I was doing it.

You know, I personally, like, I'm not going to do motorcycles.

You know, it's just like not.

I don't have the desire, though, either.

I do feel like they're more dangerous.

I mean whatever whatever uh are you gonna get one?

Yeah, you did yeah, oh, that's right.

You were writing one at the 5k.

Yeah, but you did get one

Yeah, no, I can't talk about it.

Yeah, it's a Harley.

Keep going.

She was a Harley?

No, no.

Yeah, I got a Harley coming.

Okay.

I have two options.

I'm testing, test driving two, and then I get to pick one.

And you're going to go around in it?

No, I'm going to save it for like fucking Sunday mornings at 5 a.m.

when no one's out or fucking, you know, like when on a holiday when the fucking, or hope there's another pandemic and driving along.

Didn't you learn on the show?

Yeah, I learned on Trip Flip and it was fucking,

it's such a crazy way to travel.

I guess ultimately all of these are crazy ways to travel and it's like, what's wrong with us that we can't just go like, I'll just get there.

I don't know what's more dangerous flying a helicopter or driving in an Uber with some guy that you don't fucking know.

Some of those guys, it feels like the most dangerous thing I've ever done.

I'm not telling you the story about the screaming match I got into in my front yard with an Uber driver who talks sideways to Leanne.

Really?

Buddy,

it's

probably, I woke up, I'll tell you, I woke up depressed that I let myself let I let go, like I didn't have control over myself.

You guys were in it together?

No, uh,

no, he, and I, I only, I don't know, like, I'm praying to God that video never gets released to this because it started at the airport.

Started at the airport.

Wait, were you together, though?

Me and Leanne and Kyle.

Okay.

And the guy just was like,

I'll do my own thing, you know?

Like, he just was like, he was, he was just a fucking dick.

And I, you know, there's a certain way that I said that you are, I've hired you to do a job.

I need you to do the job.

I would like the way it done.

And he wouldn't do it.

And I waited for fucking 30 minutes for him, which is not.

30 minutes for him, you mean to pick you up?

To pick me up.

Okay.

And then we didn't speak the whole ride.

I didn't say a word.

i didn't like berate him i didn't say anything i got really upset on the phone with him then when he came to get us i just put my bags in i just didn't say a word silent the whole ride got out of the car grabbed my bag walked inside should be done i told leanne make sure to tip him i feel bad for raising my voice on the phone with him and then he said something sideways to lean

and i walked out to go like what's taking so long i didn't know that he was like kind of told her off told her tell me off have a be a man and tell me off and kyle just goes buddy do not go out there and i went what's going on and leanne's like that just told me off and i went what and he was starting to leave and they had just hit the gate and again i was like get out of the car get out of the car and i was like screaming at him don't you i was screaming i lost my cool i was like so i told kyle i said next time that happens tackle me and just whisper in my ear you can't fight you don't know how to fight you're gonna lose this

but it's like it's like rage overtakes you and you're like you're like get the fuck out of the fucking car yeah and then i woke up the next morning and i was like what did i do like what in my head i was like yeah you know what is that is it worth it to get into a fist fight with it by the way he was older if he was in let's just say if it was a black guy i probably wouldn't have done it but like

yeah it's he comes from one of those countries we're comfortable bombing and we feel like there's no gonna be no retribution and so i think it's from it on and so And I was like, we're already in war with them.

I'll just keep going from my side.

But I was like, fucking,

it's crazy when a flit, a switch flips in your brain, you have no control over it.

Yeah.

And I, and I've, and I'm so good at holding on to that switch my whole fucking life.

I am so good at towing the line.

I'm good at going, everyone, calm down.

This is not worth it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But man.

And at certain times, it just goes.

He said something to Leanne and what did he say?

You, you, you dumb.

No, he did not.

And he goes, I fuck you in my country.

No, he did not.

Chop your hands off.

No, No, I don't know what he said

He said something like

He Leanne went to give him the tip and he goes no no no no no and then she goes no I insist I apologize whatever and then he grabbed the tip and they looked at Kyle and he's like she was the problem She overreacted.

You were not the problem.

She was the and Leanne didn't do anything.

She didn't do anything.

She was like wait, I just tipped you.

What the fuck's why I get thrown a fucking stray?

Yeah, yeah.

And then he was and then he said something else, I guess, and Leanne got livid.

Well, a lot of those guys are used to...

They're not big fan of women.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's pretty cool.

I've always enjoyed it when you talk shit about women in the car with them.

Yeah.

You're like, man, that driver in front of us, huh?

I bet that's it.

It was a woman.

It's a woman.

That's why we don't let them drive in our country.

Yeah.

And you're like, oh, man, you should pull over and tell her off.

We've got guest bears coming up.

We've got a couple more episodes we're going to do.

We've got guest bears with us, but we've got our summer bears, Stavi, and Chrissy D.

And thank you guys for watching and listening.

I know you're going to enjoy Stavi and DeStefano, possibly more than us, not even possibly for 100% more than more than us.

And just know that it's temporary, so enjoy it while you have it.

See you soon.

One goes topless while the other wears a shirt.

Tom tells stories, and Bert's the machine.

There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean.

Here's what we call

two bears, one cave.