"Dancers" Would Drop Me Off At School w/ That Mexican OT | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

100%.

I am here with the Peruvian OT

and that Mexican OT.

This is awesome.

You guys want to do some Spanish real quick?

Comoquires, CCC.

Oh, fuck, he fucked me up.

Tom's mom's Peruvian.

That's beautiful.

Yeah, man.

How long have you been over there?

You've been over here your whole life?

Whole life, whole life.

But I used to go down there for my summers.

So I used to spend summer there and go to school and stuff, yeah.

Is it like like you in the States over there?

Like what kind of

thing?

No, we're in the in the big city Lima.

So like we're in the city city, like 20 million people.

Okay, sick as fuck.

Yeah, big, big, big city.

But then we would go, you know, I got to travel a lot.

Like, see, I, because, like, in Peru, you have the jungle, the mountain, the Andes mountains, you have the beach because it's coastal.

So you can, like, travel all over, and it's amazing.

Does it look new?

Like, Houston is huge, but it looks old.

Oh, like, Austin looked new.

Austin looks new.

It does.

Houston does look old.

It does.

You feel like it looks old?

Yeah, I mean, yeah, hell yeah.

When you're in the city city?

Yeah.

It's a chaotic city.

Houston?

Yeah.

Oh, it's too much, bro.

I feel like it's chaos.

Like, I go there.

Don't get it fucked up.

I love Houston.

Yeah, I do too.

But it is chaotic.

Oh, bro.

It's too much.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I do love my boys out there, though.

Shout out to the H, man.

Yeah.

I just can't do it.

I like being quiet.

I like fucking being able to do what I want to do.

Houston.

Houston is the rap scene in Texas, correct?

Yeah, I want that.

I mean, we got Dallas, too.

You know, Austin even got some cool shit but definitely Houston is like it's more an OG for it because you have to give like

OGs come from that yeah I mean like Scarface right like he's a Houston guy man slim zero the whole SUC the whole ABM motherfucking uh everybody

Paul yeah it's Houston yeah all that shit you said something on Rogan when you're on Rogan which was one it's my favorite appearance I love when people show exactly who they are on Rogan.

Yeah.

And you can tell, and I'm, you know, I love Joe, but Joe sometimes doesn't know how to handle super, super realness because he's in control.

You walked in and you were like, my dad's a huge fan.

And Joe's like, well, I'd love to meet your dad.

And you go, you just met him.

And he's like, I did.

And then you went off.

You started talking about your mom and what a gangster she was and how you lost her at eight and how you've been a man.

And man, it was so fun to listen to you because you could tell you were a fan of Joe's, that you were excited to be there, that you got this persona, but you dropped it and you were just Virgil.

Yeah, man.

I mean, shit, First of all, I don't know what else to be, but I just, I know he's a brilliant mind.

And

I didn't want to look like a dumbass around him.

I don't even know if you noticed, but I didn't smoke the whole interview either.

Really?

Yeah, I just wanted to be on point with him.

I just wanted to, because like, I know he fucked with my music.

I didn't want to give him anything that was less to make him be like, oh, I don't like this dude.

Yeah, yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

I just wanted to be on point.

You wanted to be more in control, too, right?

Yeah, that's all it was.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I fuck with Rogan, though.

Tough, man.

He got some cool shit.

Even from Fear Factor.

You know what I'm saying?

That shit was sick.

Fear Factor was fun, dude.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Those days, like when he was just on that show, and that's, I think that's probably when he was.

That's not long after he...

See, he used to not fuck with weed.

So people don't know that.

He was what they call a drip.

He was

squiggly.

Like, you think he was a cop.

Yeah, yeah.

He was like not into that.

And then

I think when he like was really progressing through jiu-jitsu mushroom and the cheese.

Now he's like all in.

But

one of his closest buddies, Eddie Bravo, who's like a jiu-jitsu savant,

loves weed and actually says that like, you know, it helps you in jiu-jitsu.

Wow.

And then so Joe got into that, I think, in that era, in the Fear Factor era.

And you can see like

footage of him before he smokes weed.

And then after.

Yeah, no, definitely.

Yeah, because I think he would be pretty high in those broadcasts towards the end.

Who was hosting it after him?

It came back.

Was it Tracy Morgan?

No, no, no, it was him.

It was him.

And then

they had like a third return.

Yeah, maybe it was a third.

Somebody else.

I think it was Tracy Morgan, right?

Shit, I don't know.

That'd be a perfect host for that fucking show.

I think it was Tracy Morgan.

It might have been.

Yeah.

Dude, let me ask you this because

I think about this shit all the time.

Because I lived here 19 years before I moved to Austin.

And there is such a difference in Mexican food.

Oh, yeah, and Tex-Mex.

And Cali, like here?

Well, first of all, I think they use goat out here a lot.

Goat?

Yeah,

we eat it with brisket.

Like birdian shit.

Yeah.

It is goat.

If out here it is.

I think I've been cooking it wrong.

You use brisket, right?

Yeah, I use brisket.

Nah, that's the cool way.

Yeah.

I mean, to me, that's the right way.

Yeah.

Some people like that goat meat, though.

Really?

It's just too something for me.

It's too much.

Have you done tacos here and then in Texas?

I don't think.

Yeah, of course I have.

That's some Tex-Max ass shit.

That's where it's like the burrito deep fry.

Yeah, deep fry.

Yeah, I have.

Yeah.

But I think just at Waterburger.

What the fuck?

A chimney chonga?

At Whataburger?

I fuck with Whater.

I fuck with Waterbeez, too, but a Chimichanga?

Yeah.

That boy's different.

You were fucking with Whataburger probably in Tallahassee.

Yeah.

I don't drink and drive.

No.

But I I also drink and water.

I don't count drinking and driving to Waterburger.

Oh, but that's the only exception.

Yeah, like if you got pulled over and you were like, but I'm just going to Waterburger.

He's going to be like, oh, bad, I'll let you go.

Yeah, it's like when, remember when Charles Barker got pulled over and he was like, let me explain something.

Yes, I am drunk, but I'm going to get my dick sucked.

As if the cop was going to be like, nah, I get it, man.

Go ahead.

Yeah.

Fucking dickhead.

Yeah.

Nah, I ain't going to lie.

You know, it's killing Whatburger to me, though.

Waterburger and In-N-Out.

The five guys, bro.

Five guys?

Five guys?

Do you put them at the top?

I would definitely put them at for me personally.

For you, yeah.

I smack that shit down.

Basket of fries, the whole bag of fries and shit.

I just like that burger because it melts.

Like, that shit just, it just, it tastes and feels like a burger.

Supposed to taste and feel.

I'm biased.

Like, I have a lot of love for In-N-Out.

But when Shake Shack started with those Smash burgers, something about a Smash Burger, like the simplicity of it and that griddle they use to like, you know what I mean?

For that meat?

I fucking love a Shake Shack.

There's a burger they have in an airport I think it's in Cincinnati where they they put so much cheese on it it like hardens and it and it and it falls over the side

y'all ever have Fud Ruckers remember

Fud Ruckers was the best it was

they have like 45 options of burgers

there were two places in the world where my dad put

it was my sit yeah my dad would shut it down at fudruckers and at bennegan's whenever i saw fajitas he'd like fucking forget about it buddy's oh my god that's oh my

no, it's like old school 80s thing.

It's like the first place to introduce fajitas to white people.

Yeah.

And then Buffudruckers, they let you build your own burger.

Yeah.

And man, even as like a 10-year-old, I'd be like, I need one-pound burger.

I need Big Bun.

I need extra cheese.

And my dad's like, buddy, fucking, you're 100 pounds.

Oh, I cook.

Can y'all cook?

Yeah, fuck yeah.

I can't cook for shit.

You love to cook.

I love cooking.

Really?

I have a cooking show.

Yeah.

That's why we bought this house to do my cooking show here.

Damn.

I love that to cook.

What's your favorite thing to cook?

I mean, honestly, I mean, I made fucking lasagna yesterday or the other day for Black-Eyed Keys.

The Black Keys.

Oh, the Black Keys?

Yeah.

You talking about that.

You know, I made them shrimp and grits.

It was fucking crazy with caviar on top.

I put sugar in my grits.

I don't know if I'm tripping or not.

I don't put sugar.

That's a little spin on it, but I like it.

No, maybe.

Maybe it's just a southern thing.

That's a southern thing for sure.

I've always wanted to, like, I wish I can cook though.

Really?

Yeah, when I was a kid,

I learned how to make eggs, but then I forgot.

Please cut that out and use that as a promo.

I forgot how to make eggs.

We got to do a tutorial today.

What's your favorite way?

I love eggs.

What's your favorite way to have eggs?

Man, I got to have it as an omelette.

An omelette.

Yeah, I think I got to have an omelette.

We should do an omelette.

Hold on, French omelette.

Have you heard a French omelette?

No, it's a nice.

So a French omelette is like the perfect omelette, but they make it a certain way.

There's a certain way to cook it, just like French scrambled eggs

are super soft and super runny.

I don't think I've ever had anything French besides toast.

So you got to have a, you got to try French style.

Also, like the traditional...

You like salmon?

Do you like fish?

Actually, I do love salmon.

My dad, he used to make me salmon and he would like eat cranberries and shove them in the patty and then cook it like that.

Dude,

the traditional French way of making a salmon filet is so simple.

It's the fucking best thing, the best way to have salmon.

I ain't gonna lie, like steak, mashed potatoes, any barbecue, I could survive off that shit.

Yeah, sure.

I love steak.

The only thing I do like regularly.

Oh, yeah.

I do steak a lot.

I'm a big steaker.

I made Leanne

Wagu

New York strip with mashed potatoes the other night.

Yeah.

The thing, dude, please tell me you agree with this, bro.

So I seen this dude and he had a fucking undercover camera on him and he snuck into a cow farm.

And, bro, the way they treated these cows was horrible.

Have you ever seen that?

People like that deserve, like, you need to go to hell.

Yeah, that's bad.

You know what I'm saying?

Because, like, with doing a human crazy, it's like, all right, sometimes people deserve to get slapped shit out of them.

Yeah.

That animal, bro.

The fuck out of there.

Animal abuse, like in some of those, it's gross.

Hey, that shit is brutal, bro.

So, anyways, like, you know, that, like, that energy is real.

I think it goes into your body.

and they fucking mass produce so they this fucking this animal full fear full fucking just being you know what i'm saying like anything that's just bad yeah and then it's it's it dies and it has that energy still and then they feed it does

i want them oh you know what i want them to do i want them to i mean i kind of like the idea of what joe does where he hunts his own shit

i wish that you could source that through a group of friends right like me the three of us could go in on an elk damn

that's a business i know i would do it if you told me like if you said like the three of us within a year are gonna eat two cows two pigs two elk

we and we just put our money in for the year and we know it gets shipped to us and we know that it was hunted or it was killed humanely like i would be into that that's why i don't eat uh octopus anymore do you like hunting uh never hunted how the i need to take you hunting how do they kill bro wow i'll give you we'll get like five pounds of tannerite put dog food on that shit and then let fucking like a family of 30 pigs get on there

bro

we gotta do that we do dude shooting cataract is fun as i have you in a helicopter shooting

really hell yeah those are the uh invasives we have was in florida those boars that just ruin bro like i mean imagine for uh five years you and your boy growing this garden and in the night you know what i'm saying in one night the whole family of like 50 pigs just take it all out holy and they took your dog

if you like to hunt by the way go to australia australia yeah what are you catching out there well first of all there's any time of year you can kill a kangaroo.

No shit?

Are you serious?

Is hunting kangaroos a thing?

Oh, you can go up to it with a knife and just slit its throat.

And they're like, good.

Because they see it as

a rat infestation.

Oh, so overrun.

It's like the boys.

Yeah, yeah.

You can just go up and kill it anytime.

That's insane.

For real?

Yes.

What the?

Yes.

A kangaroo.

Yeah, it's a problem.

How taller a kangaroo gets?

Some of them are

fucking 70 foot, right?

No, I don't think that tall, but

can you Google that?

Yeah, it's a

remember Kangaroo Jack in the movie?

Yeah.

That was my shit.

How tall here?

With the fucking Twizzling.

Six feet.

Six feet.

I mean, that's still tangled.

Pretty big, man.

Yeah.

Did you ever see a shaved kangaroo?

See the jacked one?

Yeah, they're jacked as fuck.

Yeah, same thing with the bears.

But you know what they'll do, too, right?

Like a really aggressive one?

They'll sit back on their tail.

The tail will hold them up.

And then the town, they can disembowel you they can split you right open dude yeah look at that bro look at that looks like launch looks like rogan hey no bullshit when i went to give him a hug i was like bitch you're stiff yeah yeah yeah yeah i it was like holding a cinder block yeah yeah he's a fucking lunatic

yeah he's never been out of shape that's the thing he's just never been out of shape and then bro he was i i saw the interview he was talking about those narrow gums or the mints have you tried those yeah i mean I've been wanting to get on them.

They're great.

Yeah, you fuck with them?

Yeah, yeah.

They really were?

Yeah, they're great.

Man, because, bro, because, you know, I'm high all the time and I like being on point.

And sometimes I just be high.

Do you have a show tonight?

Nah, no, sir.

Were you just out here partying?

Nah, hell, nah.

I don't really party too much.

I fucking,

I just came out here to promo.

Oh, really?

I got my project recess coming soon.

Yeah.

So I've just been fucking with that shit.

I love your style because

you have like traditions, what you call traditional rap, and then you have, what is it, Cowboy Killer?

Yeah, it's a little more fun, and you just kind of take

it.

This new one with Lil Wayne's awesome.

Thank you, bro.

I got one called Weed Eater.

You got to jam it.

God, man.

It's just, it's like...

The thing I love about comedy is when, you know, look, there's certain guys that have a certain angle and they do it a certain way.

And then there's guys who just fuck around.

You just have, everything's funny to them.

They just want to laugh.

I got an ass, Trey.

Thank you, cousin.

But that's what I love about your style.

Thank you, bro.

It's just what you find fun.

And it's exactly what it is.

Like, I've been meeting up with all of these labels and shit, and they're like, well, why are you calling the project recess?

And

I still feel like I'm a kid.

I still feel like homeboy beating on the table.

And we're at the lunchroom, and we're just going in.

My dad's a personal trainer, and when he trains people, he tells them all the time.

He tells them all the time, excuse me.

You stop working out when they took recess out of your life.

You know what I'm saying?

So when you come in here, don't look at it like going to the gym.

Just be a fucking kid.

Just come in here and have fun with it.

That's a great perspective.

Yeah.

That's great.

Yeah.

And

it's great for like fitness, health stuff, but it actually

is something that, like, as adults, I feel like we should embrace for our creative shit, too.

Like, how fun.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, man, like, it's working for me because I'm still being a kid with this shit.

You go on that stage and you still being that fucking kid.

You know what I'm saying?

And I think that's why I work and that's why I feel good.

I think that's what, like, when I did the show, Bad Thoughts.

Here's a show on Netflix called Bad Thoughts.

So nasty.

Have you seen it?

No, I haven't.

It's fucking

hysterical.

And

it is just,

it is his sense of humor.

Yeah.

I've been on Trailer Park, bros.

Trailer Park Boys lately.

They're great.

But my thing is that, like, I think I had...

more fun making that show than almost anything I've ever done.

Because it just felt good being good.

Yeah, we were.

It was recess.

It was recess.

You're exactly right.

Summer's here.

Set those legs free with the line swim collection from Chubbies.

Ditch the jeans and sweats for swim trunks built for comfort, featuring quick dry stretch fabric and a legit built-in liner.

No chafing, no soggy butt, no mesh disasters.

Even better, Chubby's biggest sale of the year is on.

$45 bottoms and up to 65% off select gear.

Time to toss those old trunks and upgrade your summer fit.

From the couch to the cookout, Chubby's originals are built for comfort with a stretchy fit and laid-back style.

Pair them with a performance polo, structured collar, four-way stretch, and wrinkle-free for instant, I tried, but not too hard energy.

I love these shorts and these trunks.

It's time to get rid of the old stuff.

These are comfortable, they fit great, and they look great.

So don't wait.

For a very limited time, shop Chubby's biggest sale of the year for $45 shorts and up to 65% off select gear.

Hit up chubbieshorts.com and grab your favorites before they're gone.

Miss the sale.

Don't sweat it.

Use our exclusive code CAVE C-A-V-E for 20% off.

Support the show.

Let them know we sent you when the survey asks and get ready to turn some heads.

Summer's here.

Dress like it in Chubbies.

If you run a small business, you know there's nothing small about it.

Buddy, ain't that the truth?

It keeps you up at night.

At night, you're thinking about your business.

As a business owner, I just want to say I get it.

My business is and always has been all-consuming

since the day I started it.

Every day,

there's a new decision that it seems only I can make.

And even the smallest decision can sometimes feel absolutely massive.

The thing that helped me the most when all these decisions started to feel daunting was to know that I had the right platform with all the right tools that I needed to be successful.

And I want to introduce you to my partner in business, my friends and a podcast sponsor, Shopify.

Bro,

if you have a business, Shopify is your best friend.

Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world.

And 10% of all e-commerces in the U.S., from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started, tackle all the important tasks in one place, from inventory to payment to analytics and more in-person more your thing Shopify's award-winning point of sale connects your online and offline sales all in one place with 99.99% uptime and the best converting checkout on the planet you'll never miss a sale again only with Shopify trust me when I'm saying we all have big dreams and those big dreams turn into our businesses and our businesses and our dreams mesh into one and then one day you've got your head on your pillow and you're stressing about your dreams and your business and your business and your dream, all supporting your family.

And now you're thinking about college.

It is nice to know that Shopify has your back.

Get all the big stuff for your small business right now with

Shopify.

Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com/slash bears.

Go to shopify.com slash bears, shopify.com slash bears.

Start the season with Etsy and make your holiday traditions extra special.

On Etsy, you'll discover original pieces from small shops that will help you celebrate your way.

Shop Etsy for holiday decor that makes you feel seen.

Special starts on Etsy.

Tap the banner to shop now.

That's exactly right.

It was so fun, man.

I look at what, like, I know you're friends with Ralph.

Yes.

And

shout out to Ralph.

Ralph, I mean,

did you know Kenny Flores?

The Ken, the one that passed.

Yeah.

I didn't know him too much.

I definitely was seeing his shit and thought it was fucking funny.

Yeah.

He was hysterical.

I believe believe it he was hysterical renee vaca and like i love i love i fuck with that whole circle yeah i love that whole circle so fun when i see you guys because hi man

you guys and it's it's interesting we were talking about ralph i know ralph doesn't like this being brought up too much but white people wanted to put ralph in a in a box and be like so you're mexican comic and then ralph's like no i'm a comic yeah right yeah he's like i'm not like like this you know or whatever and white people couldn't understand it and when i see you guys and i see what you guys are doing, you're so authentically you, and you're not what Hollywood or the music industry wants to put in the box.

When I saw you fight that fucking bull,

that's my favorite thing I've ever seen on the internet, dude.

The baddest motherfucker.

Motherfuckers thought that was AI.

I was like, bitch, no, I earned that shit.

Yo, you sure did.

Yeah, that, dude, that's like you had fucked around like that before.

Because it's still like, no, yeah, for sure.

Matter of fact, if y'all can make it February 7th, we got our own.

I threw my

own bull riding in Bay City.

This one's going to be in Rosenberg this time.

Munt busting, bull riding, bull fighting.

You been doing that your whole life?

Come on, been around it our whole life.

My little cousin Jack, 15, he'd be bull riding.

Really?

My Uncle Joe.

I really, I watched my Uncle Joe do that shit growing up.

It's my Theosonian husband.

Bad motherfucking white boy.

He cold.

Grew up on a grass.

Pull up me fighting a bull if you could.

What?

You never saw mine?

Are you fucking shitting me?

I'm being dead fucking serious.

Oh, no.

A little different than yours.

I believe it, right?

February 7th.

February 7th.

I will never get near another fucking bull.

What's up, bro?

We're going to get some pigs and put them in baby oil or let you try and catch them.

This is when I was 27 years old.

Oh, look at how young I am.

Bird versus bull.

So I'm the...

Here's the bull.

No, so you've been on this shit.

That's me.

That's me and the suspenders.

Dude.

Way do you see this?

I wish you would bring this show up.

You've been doing shit.

Oh, buddy.

Here we go.

Go.

Broke my ribs and broke my foot.

Oh, that quick.

Oh, that quick.

It was over.

Holy it was over.

Look at me.

And then they're like, whatever you do, don't get by the railings.

And I go, how do we get out of here?

So when I saw you do that, first of all, I know how scary that is.

Yeah.

I know how, and I know, as soon as I saw you do it, I go, he's been around bulls before.

Because there's a certain way.

It's so obvious.

But the most gangster shit is you start on the ground.

You didn't go when you saw that.

Oh, I was like, I was like.

But I'm not going to lie, you're a beast, though.

That was a full-grown bull.

The bull I was fighting was about eight months.

Really?

Yeah.

And that looked like my favorite one is the football one, though.

Let me see.

Let me see.

Let me see.

Dude, football one is fucking awesome.

Dude, it's all you got.

Fucked up.

Damn.

So, what is this?

What's this called?

This is called Hurt Burt.

Hurt Burt.

Hurt Burt.

You really was just doing it all.

You couldn't pay me to bring it back.

No, shit.

Oh, buddy.

This is.

Cool shit.

My favorite

fast forward towards the...

I like how he's like, what's up, guys?

And they're all like, what's up, man?

This is his douchebag.

That's me in the red.

Nice.

And they're just

boom.

Hey, but it's crazy because even the bull, they don't look like they're hitting you hard, but they hitting your ass off.

They stepping up.

Scoot to the scoot to the.

You just got to see the

fucking dickhead.

Okay, go back.

Go back.

Okay, scoot to the one big hump right there.

And these boys.

Where do you see this hit?

These boys play you.

This hit was the one that fucking I got a concussion from.

Watch this.

Oh, blindside.

Oh, he's a hoe.

I was out.

I was some straight hoe ass in, bro.

Boom, boom.

That's fucked up.

And you got a real concussion from that.

Yeah, I fought a bear during this.

I was a dominatrix gimp.

I swam out of the cage with great white sharks.

Just type in Dominatrix Gimp and you'll see it.

I just shot a porn, basically.

Oh, nice.

Yeah, they put like 10-pound weights on my balls and shocked my cock with an electrode and

fucking nipple clamps.

Whoa.

Yeah.

They wanted to put

electrodes inside the head of my dick.

Whoa.

Yeah, but I wouldn't let them.

That's probably a good line.

Hey,

I was a kid and I watched this porno and fucking, it was like they were showing behind the scenes and shit.

And this dude goes to this dude and he's like, kids, don't smoke.

And it goes down to his dick and he has a cigarette in his cockhole.

That shit fucked me up.

Some of those are the stuff you never forget that you saw as a porn.

Yeah,

man.

I remember we were in like 10th grade.

No, it was, it was.

I must have been in college and someone's like, yeah, put in a porn.

You know, you just kind of watch it on the side.

And I remember the one girl put her foot in another girl's pussy, and I went,

and I was like, What the fuck?

And I was like, Why is that turning me on?

Hey, no bullshit.

When I was watching those porn stars and like the behind the scenes and shit, I was like, I respect that shit.

Cause, like, there was this one scene where homeboy was hitting a homegirl, and he, the director was like, and hold it, hold it, and

climax.

And they're like, oh, yeah, like, damn.

Yeah, it's a beast, bro.

Like, you really got to be in there fucking.

Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

I can think back to strippers.

I have one stripper that I think about.

Wow.

If I ever think about strip clubs, this one stripper, it was Jason Nash's bachelor party.

It was in the valley at a place called Valley Dolls, and she had Cholita tattooed across her stomach.

Fuck.

I don't feel like she's going to ruin your life.

I was like, I bet this girl would fucking trash me.

God.

I don't know, man.

Them strip clubs, they too much.

I get in trouble there.

I don't usually get in.

You know, it's so funny.

When I was younger, I did.

When I got married and I knew that I was allowed to go, I kind of was like, I tried.

And that, I think, my wife's older.

So, like, we were talking about it.

I got a lap dance the other day.

And I was like, this doesn't feel like what I'm used to.

Like, where are her moles?

Oh, shit.

It sounds too smooth.

Like, what is this?

A fucking volleyball?

Last time I was in.

I was like fucking football, something with lumps.

I was with fucking Ralph and I was talking to this girl.

I'm so fucking trash.

I'm talking to her.

I'll throw up in the trash.

Oh, and then I fucking pick back up and keep talking to the bitch.

I was like, I gotta get the fuck out of here because I thought that was smooth as fuck.

Like, I thought I couldn't have played that out better.

I peeked over here.

What's up?

Yeah, no bullshit.

And I mean, shit, I got the numbers, so it didn't matter, but it didn't work, man.

Yeah.

I gotta ask you something about, I wanna ask you about rapping.

Because, like,

in comedy,

when you're starting out, coming up, we like, you know, we bomb sometimes, right?

And it's so fucking, you're like, yeah, I'm good at this, right?

And you go and you just eat shit and it sits with you.

You're like, fuck.

It's like the dirtiest feeling.

When you're like trying to get started, do you have moments where you were like, whatever, whether it's a freestyle or some shit, and you just eat shit, like as a rapper?

I don't think I've had that moment yet.

No.

But I'm not going to have it now.

I meant like when you're like trying to figure it out.

I don't know.

Damn.

So it was always just working for you.

Yeah.

I mean, well, you got to understand.

Well, maybe when i was trying to look like a rapper okay it wasn't working i threw the j's on had my jeans you know yeah whatever you know trying to look like a rapper yeah and it just it didn't even feel comfortable you know what i'm saying uh because you weren't being yourself you know and then one day i just showed up like me and it

just took off yeah that's awesome but as far as like the the rap wise like the the rapping no you gotta understand like the way mayweather was walking he was in a boxing gym as soon as i was talking i was in the studio seriously yeah my mama you've been rapping since he was like four yes mama yes my mama gave me my first rap name and um she was the one that wanted me to be a rapper you know what i'm saying hell yeah and then you know my i would go to see my dad in prison and i would go rap to him through the glass and he likes that so you know my uncles and my cousins were doing it so you were training at four literally not even knowing though right right just doing

i felt i was with my kinfolks doing it and i felt grown because they was grown and you know and i'm talking about some grown yeah you know what i'm saying yeah it just felt cool and i just it just kind of worked out for me man i'm grateful that's it your mom moved to did your mom move to san francisco or i was i can't remember your mom so your your dad went to prison your parents split up right my my my mom would tell my dad she was on birth control i think oh for real yeah i think so she was 18 when she had you right yeah and then she moved he went to prison and she moved did she just move to where you live now nah she's still in bay city she was

i heard bay city and i immediately thought san francisco oh no yeah that's the bay area yeah yeah bay city so she moved to bay city and your mom was a gangster yeah 1000 like still to this day like i remember a lot of a lot i go back to the hood a lot of dudes be bringing her up and like i don't want to hear that shit because like in my mind you was my mama You know what I'm saying?

For real.

Because my mama, you know, man, my mama, you know, she was living.

And

so I ain't ever want to hear that.

But one day, my buddy Boom sat me down and he was like, bro, these people really respect your mama.

Like, he said, I just don't want it.

He's like, I see you feel that way.

And I don't want you to feel that way because you shouldn't.

Like, I ain't trying to tell you this to make you feel good.

I would just left it alone.

This is the best vodka in the world.

You're talking to a man who's put 10,000 hours into a couple things, eating pussy and drinking vodka.

I'll bring my wife in if you want.

I'm pretty good at the first one, too.

But this is better than pussy.

This is the best vodka you're ever going to have.

It's clean.

My sleep scores through the roof because of it.

It tastes clean.

Everyone I've given it to loves this vodka.

Tom, tell them.

It's absolutely fantastic.

We have a proprietary distillation process.

And listen, we are winning competitions.

We have gold medals in various competitions.

And honestly, you, the people, are the ones telling us how great it is too.

This is not just smoke that we're blowing here.

We're telling you because you're telling us this is now your favorite vodka.

So thank you.

And if you haven't tried Porosos, get out to the store.

If they don't carry it, tell them you want them to carry it.

Tell them to request it.

When you go to the bar, you say, Hey, do you carry Porosos?

And if they say no, you go, You should.

It's pretty freaking awesome.

And then walk out.

You know what I do?

I go, Do you carry Porosos?

And they say, No, I bring out a bottle and give it to them.

I go, Now you do.

Can I get a bottle of a glass of Porosos?

That's awesome.

That's awesome.

By the time I hit my 50s, I'd learned a few things: like how family is precious.

Work can always wait.

And 99% of people over 50 already have the virus that causes shingles.

Not everyone at risk will develop it, but I did.

The painful, blistering rash disrupted my life for weeks.

Don't learn about your shingles risk the hard way.

Talk to your doctor or pharmacist today.

Sponsored by GSK.

Right.

Like your mama was solid and a gangster.

They didn't look at my mama.

They thought, you know, to them, she was black.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

Just in the hood every day and just with them thugging.

Just cooled in a bitch, man.

I'll show you some pictures of my.

I couldn't find a picture of your mom online.

Yeah.

Because you describe, you tell you every time you hear high heels, you think of your mom.

Yes, man, he knows.

I used to be in daycare and every time I heard them high heels coming, I knew it was my mama.

Well, nobody else, mama wearing that.

It's crazy how those memories sit with you.

Yeah.

You know, like a sound, a smell, something takes you right back.

Yeah.

Man, I wish I remember her perfume.

I remember when she passed, I remember her smell for a little bit.

About two, three years later, it went away.

But I remember I was in Walmart one day and I was in the aisle and I smelled it.

And I was like, what the fuck is that?

And it's fucked me up ever since then.

I've always tried to remember what her scent was.

I bet you could figure it out based on the year and what was popular.

Right.

Like, I know for a fact, I had the same thing with the girl I lost my virginity to had a very popular...

I had a smell.

Nice.

And I smell, well, it gave me an anxiety attack when I smelled it.

So I wasn't really good at having sex.

So I smelled it.

And anytime I smelled it, I have an anxiety attack.

That's good.

And it was crazy.

And then I was like, I just need to stay away from that smell.

And then some, I think it was my little sister was like, what smell was it?

And I was like, I don't know.

1987, whatever was popular.

And they were like,

colors.

Was it colors?

Colors.

But man, when I smell it,

I mean, I get pulled back.

It's funny.

I shouldn't be telling the story because it's only about me, but when I met my wife, I was allergic to cats and I wouldn't go to her house because I had allergies.

She said, she broke up with me and she goes, you know, one of the reasons is I need someone who would be able to live with the cats.

I got to live with cats.

So I got on allergy medicine for the first time.

I'm 26 years old, yeah, 20, no, 29.

She left you for the cat.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

And we have cats to this day.

We have two cats in our house.

Sick.

And I got on allergy medicine.

And for the first time in my life, I could smell things.

Yeah.

The first thing I smelled was jasmine.

The second thing I smelled was lilies.

So now every time I smell jasmine or lilies I think of Leanne because I never smelled a flower in my life because my allergies.

Really?

Yeah.

And so every time, but smells so fucking wild.

Yeah.

I bet you could find your mom's scent.

Nah, I'm sure.

But remember, I was telling you earlier, I already got a fucked up nose.

I got to get some type of surgery to get it fixed.

I got into a fight with this kid named Jack Tarr.

We used to have the boxing gloves in our locker room and we would just fucking go hard.

Really?

And Jack Tarr, you know, I was strong and a lot of people didn't want to fuck with me because I was just icy and shit.

And this one dude, Jack, he wasn't really good at fighting, but just corn-fat-ass motherfucker.

Talking about fucking legs look like tree stumps, you know?

And we're fighting them going hard, and I'm eating them alive, bro.

And then he caught me with this lucky ass punch.

Bam.

Hit my bitch ass.

And I remember I was dazed.

You know what I'm saying?

If he would have followed up with another one, he would have knocked my ass out.

You remember Dante, bro?

Yeah.

Dante steps in.

He's like, oh,

you know,

he talks like he's fucking inbred.

But, you know what I'm saying?

He was like, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, right, no, no.

You know, and he saved my life.

But ever since then, my nose has been fucked up.

So I got to get that done.

Yeah.

That's going to change your way you feel completely, man.

No, I believe it.

Even, even, remember, I was telling you earlier about the gagging, trying to inhale a lot.

Like, I think it's because I just got so much gunk in there.

It make my ears feel fucked up.

I get bad ear infections.

You know what I'm saying?

So, bro, I'll shower and get an ear infection.

Yeah, shit's bad.

But I think it's because I'm just already all connected.

Yeah, yeah.

He's captain surgery.

Really?

He goes to a doctor.

If he feels something wrong, he goes to a doctor immediately.

You be getting those IVs?

I get those conversations.

I got one yesterday.

That's why I'm so bloated.

Yeah, me too.

I got one yesterday.

I love that shit, man.

Yeah.

Stem cells, too.

I get stem cell injections.

What?

Like a stem on Black Ops?

And, dude, I got, this week I got three different kinds.

I got stem cell IV.

I got direct inject stem cell.

And then they put stem cells in like this inhaler.

So like the vapors go in.

Yeah, all three.

That sounds good this inhaler do it at ways to well in austin you can come to austin i'll set you up the place is amazing hey what's up i've been trying to go to tony so bad he wants me there i just be busy with my bitch ass oh yeah i bet your schedule is crazy yeah well it is coming up now too you know i'm saying you going on a tour right now uh in august i'm finna drop recess and then follow up with a tour oh nice yeah uh nationwide uh nah not yet I like, I don't know, man.

I'm kind of scared leaving.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I got my passport and everything.

I'm ready.

I'm supposed to be going to Berlin to do the week up with my buddies, and I really want to go to Japan.

Japan, let me tell you something, man.

I went for the first time last year.

Sick.

I've been to like, I don't know, 50 countries everywhere.

That's the most amazing place that I've been.

Is it true that it's just so clean and nice there?

Dude.

Like, I heard a story.

Somebody was fucked up and he fell asleep in the street and they woke up with a bunch of water bottles around them.

I believe it.

The Japanese culture is incredible.

It's quiet.

It is like you get on the subway, no one's talking.

Everyone gets off the subway, no one's talking.

And then you go to like Vietnam, totally fucking different.

Yeah.

Vietnam is so fucking loud.

And then it's like, it's Japan, no one's touching each other.

And Vietnam, it's like they're putting their fingers in your mouth.

You're like,

did you pick target me?

What the fuck's going on?

The traffic's chaos.

Japan's out of this world, fun.

And the food is crazy.

Listen, dude,

everything you eat there, everything,

a tomato,

a grape, a strawberry, lettuce, crab, whatever you have, I swear to you, you'll be like, this is the best tomato I've ever had in my life.

Like everything.

They got steak out there?

They're not cooking like that.

Oh, their steak is outrageously cheap.

Not horse?

No.

No.

Wait, wait, can I,

could you do...

Could you tour like Mexico and do and rap in Mexico and would it have the same translation as it does in Texas?

Yeah.

that's so much fucking money.

Have you done, have you performed in Mexico?

No, I did Mexico City.

That's hard.

It was awesome.

Yeah, I was kind of scared to go to Mexico too, though.

You know what I'm saying?

Because, like, it's just, it's, bro, it's, I mean, I love Mexico.

I used to go there as a kid all the time.

You know what I'm saying?

But, like, it's just getting ugly, bro.

I feel like it's getting ugly.

Well, and you're the guy that, like, I mean, I'm not,

I'm just saying, like, if you're a cartel leader and you're fucking,

look at my tattoos and be like, that's not us.

Yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, shit.

I didn't even realize that.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that is crazy.

Yeah.

It's deeply, you know.

Mexico City is so bilingual.

Yeah, no, I believe it.

Yeah.

And so, like, the show, like,

I did Buenos Aires.

I did Argentina.

I did Santiago, Chile, and then I did Mexico City.

Mexico City was like...

It was just like you're performing at Houston.

Like it was,

you wouldn't know you were out of the country.

Nah, I believe it.

That shit sounds cool as fuck, though.

It was rad.

I got a song with Lefty SM, and they shot his shit out there, and it looked cool.

And I was like, fuck, I wish I went, but like, I'd just be living in fear with that shit.

I feel like I done heard too many stories.

There's a lot of crazy stories for sure.

Bro, because that shit is real.

That's real, yeah.

That shit is completely fucking real.

Well, not if you're white like me.

It's not real at all.

Nah, it's just real.

I walk around

Mexico City with a Rolex on.

Like, what's up, fellas?

Two TNA cigars?

Nah, but it can't happen, though.

Oh, I know.

I mean, I...

You got to understand, you got motherfuckers that go home and look at their grandma's stomach touch their back every day.

I don't give a fuck about that shit.

I need what you got.

You know?

I don't even know what you said, but it scared the fuck out of me.

I was like, touch your grandmother's stomach.

No, I say you got motherfuckers that go home every day and watch their grandmama's stomach touch their back.

Like they starving.

Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.

But you were in a cold house.

I liked it better the way you said it, the way I heard it.

Just dudes going home, touching their grandmother's stomach, and and then touching the back.

I'll be back, grandma.

Also, be bad, grandma.

I also had zero understanding of what you said, but I was like, yeah, that does sound scary, man.

No, for real, though.

Like, these people don't care.

God,

your perception of the world is so different than my perception of the world.

Like, I look at it, I really am

not just glass half full, but glass overflowing.

I see opportunity everywhere.

And I think sometimes the problem is you don't realize

that, yeah, I guess the world doesn't see that that way.

Not everyone's given just like opportunity after opportunity.

Yeah, and then some people, like, they, some, some, like, because I've been in this game long enough to where I can, I've said my beliefs and I've had my ways and people don't like it and agree with it.

So I feel like I've lost

a lot of my Mexicans, but.

Shit, I'm not.

Really, they're not like Mexicans in general.

Some of them are just not fans because of your beliefs.

Yeah.

Really?

Because of what I, who I, who I like,

what I'm into.

Who do you like?

You know what I mean?

I mean, shit, it can be anything.

Like, they might not like what I think politically.

All right.

You know what I'm saying?

And

the other side of that is...

Religiously.

Anyway.

There's some people who probably hear what you say and they go, I love this, though.

Yeah, I mean, some people are like, I don't agree with them, but I fucking love them.

Right.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, I mean, just because you like to eat or fucking cook or whatever the fuck, I'm not going to not like you because you like that shit.

Yeah.

It's what you like.

Yeah.

It's what you're into.

It's your belief.

It's so funny.

The thing that might rub people wrong is the thing that draws me in.

Like, I just like that you're really authentically you.

I thank you, bro.

I mean, every part about you is like just, it is not, it is not manufactured by

an industry.

It is just you.

It's, you know,

that's so interesting.

No, I like it, man.

I think it's cool, bro.

And anybody that's still on my boat, I'm grateful, man, because like I said, these people don't have to like me.

But that's who you want, though, man.

You want, like, I think everybody, you want people who are fans that are fans because you're being yourself.

If you're trying to be something else and they're fans, it's not going to work.

And I mean, bro,

I keep it real with my members.

I keep it real with my people.

And most importantly, I wake up every day and keep it real with myself.

I'm not going to not be me to make you happy.

Right.

You know what I'm saying?

For sure.

And I don't know you shit, bitch.

In reality, I don't even give a fuck if y'all like my music because at the end of the day, I do this shit because Sophie wanted me to do it.

I used to be broke and on drugs, laid out in the middle of the street, happy, still doing this shit.

I like, you know, this, that might be cut out, but I like being on drugs.

Yeah.

I love acid.

I love mushrooms.

I love weed.

Love sipping drink.

I love getting fucked up and cocaine.

I like doing all that shit.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

So

Tom likes everything you just said, too.

No, that's what I'm talking about.

Have you tried DMT?

Yeah, no.

Tom is really in love with DMT.

He's been doing it, what I would say, almost too much.

I ain't going to just necessarily say I do it too much, but I like it and I'll do it if it's right.

I think I've been doing it an excessive amount.

Yeah.

What are you doing?

Before he goes to bed.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, fully hallucinating.

It's fun.

Tom's like a low-key drug addict.

Yeah, no, I like this shit.

Like, everyone goes, oh, Bert's an alcoholic.

Bert's fat.

It's like, are you not looking at the guy next to me?

Yeah, right.

I say all that, though, because like, man, I'm like, I was giving when I was broke.

I'm happy.

I'm okay with being broke.

You know what I'm saying?

I'm cool with being nobody.

I like being a nobody.

All these motherfuckers coming up to me won't leave me alone and shit.

Yeah.

Like, don't get it fucked up.

I love my fans.

And I go above and beyond with making them.

Know that it's obvious.

I'm grateful for you.

I love you.

But some people just want to fuck with me because, like, then you know me as the dude holding the chicken.

You know what I'm saying?

Fuck all that bro like i want to talk to the people that are the reason why i'm living different yeah and you also get something we don't get you walk into a room and you kind of pop like when you walked in at nascar

it's like

every fucking 50 year old white woman in a sundress turned and was like who's that

and i and by the way i was the first one to come up to you i was like oh shit i know i remember i flip shit when i seen you i done that shit a brig i was like no way i didn't think you'd be a nascar and then and then immediately i was like of course he's a fucking nascar i was like there's no way he's gonna be at the indianapolis 500 he's gonna be a nascar and dude i came up and i was like i was i was like i'm gonna give you space because i i knew i knew you were gonna get inundated so i was like dude i love you man i'm a huge fan you're real as

And then I was like, we got a podcast together sometime.

And then I was like, I'll come find you in a little bit.

And I went down and I just shown you fighting that bull to my whole team at NASCAR.

I just showed it to them.

And Kyle was behind me.

You met Kyle downstairs.

And I go, Kyle,

he just walked in.

She goes, what?

I said, that Mexican OT.

He's just walked in.

She went, shut the fuck up.

And everyone's like, leaned up.

We were in the front row.

They're like, where is he?

And then I think Kyle came back and maybe introduced himself to you.

And then, and then I was like, all right, he's had time.

I'm going to go talk to him because I'm bad with celebrities.

And so I walked up and then you were gone.

I was like, fuck.

I went to the, I started going booth to booth going, he's got to be right next door.

He's got to be right next door.

But, and then I was like, oh, I'll just DM him.

But you do pop when you go into a room.

So in, you know, listen, if fans see you, they give you, they come after you.

But then also, you get, you get what I get sometimes is like

some annoying older white woman going, I don't know who you are, but everyone seems to know who you are.

Who are you?

Yeah.

And it's like, bitch, move around.

Yeah, get out of here.

Like, just leave me the fuck alone.

And I don't like that shit, man.

But I mean, but I don't like it, but I, because like already before, I was already that type of person.

Yeah.

I used to just be mean, man.

I had a lot of hatred in me.

Felt like everything owed me everything because I was just taken away from everything.

But then, you know, I just got older and just realized, shit, like, man, nobody.

That shit is.

I'm forced to be a grown-up at eight.

Yeah.

I mean, that's from, when you said at eight, I was a grown-up.

I remember hearing you say that on Rogan, and I was like, I didn't learn how to jerk off until I was 10.

Yeah.

I was like, man,

bro, I ain't going to lie.

My mama used to have them dope heads around.

I feel like I remember one time there was fucking these two motherfuckers fucking in mind in my cousin's bunk bed.

I walked in on that shit.

But you gotta understand, my mama was still young.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, she was still having a lot of shit going on.

She still wanted to live her life.

So I love my mama.

She did great, you know, but she was just too gangster.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, no, yeah, I mean, shit, I remember looking at my teachers in the first grade, like, I don't know what fucking is, but I'd fuck you.

You know?

For real.

Like, so, like, it's, it's deeper.

Like, I mean, I remember stealing blue flags from Walmart, feeling like I was gangbanging already by the time I was 10.

Really?

Yeah, you know, like, and this is all, is this in like Bay City?

Bay City area, Lake Jackson, Freeport, all that shit.

My mama was always in Lake Jackson and Freeport, but I stayed in Bay City a lot.

Or West Columbia.

That's where my grandparents were.

And that's still home, right?

Yes, sir.

Nice.

It's just a bunch of small country towns.

Matagorda County, Bizoria County.

Bizoria was actually supposed to be the capital of Texas.

Was it really?

Yes.

And they ended up making it Austin.

Stephen F.

Austin got land out there.

They got a statue of him out there.

Yeah, his family used to walk that land.

Jones Creek.

Wow.

I think like 1,800 acres out there.

Texas is pretty fucking badass when you think about it.

Yeah.

Oh, bro.

It really is.

It's beautiful, man.

We got greenland.

We got flatland, the desert, we got mountains.

You could drive like 18, 19 hours.

Is that a area with all those towns?

Is that pretty mixed?

Is it like white folks, Mexican folks?

Is it all?

Oh, yeah, a lot of black motherfuckers, a lot of Mexican motherfuckers.

A lot of whites.

Yeah.

Pretty much it.

We don't get a motherfucker with the end.

A lot of white motherfuckers.

White sons of bitches.

Nah.

I mean, it's a, you know, you got it.

It's a lot.

It's a pot of gumbo out there.

Yeah.

Yeah, for sure.

That's cool.

I like it, though, man.

It's quiet.

It's slow boogie.

I could do what I want.

River.

You know what I'm saying?

Dude, they're going to fucking love you in Japan.

I just realized.

Have you ever seen Japanese cholo culture?

Yes.

It's fucking.

Holy dang.

I just, bro, it fucked me up when I seen they had Lolos and shit out there.

It's fucking...

I mean, it's...

Matter of fact,

I met a Jap Chicano over here.

Japanese Chicano over here one time.

Really?

Yeah, he had a shirt that was all white and it had the two flags and it was a Japanese flag, Mexico flag.

I was like, damn, you're hard, fool.

Hard, cool.

Fucking cool ass mud.

That's crazy.

There's like such a huge hip-hop.

culture there.

Yeah, I was going to say my buddy L.E., he punched me in with a dude named Shu and he has like a whole DJ DJ screw shop out there.

Wow.

That shit's fucking sick.

They got a slab out there on swankers.

Really?

Yeah.

You got to go, man.

No, matter of fact, y'all got to come to Texas because I want to put y'all in a helicopter.

We need to go shoot some shit.

I'd do that.

You need to go fucking.

You need to do all that.

You would definitely do that.

I would love to do that.

All that.

Yeah.

I don't know if y'all like getting dirty, but I fuck with those ATVs and the four-wheelers.

Oh, yeah.

Man, we'll go out there at the Carsby and get muddy.

That'd be fun as shit, man.

I would love to do that.

Yeah, you're doing Texas wrong.

I know, I need to get out there.

Y'all got four-wheelers?

What's that?

Four-wheelers?

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah.

I got an Outlander.

Fucking bad motherfucker, dog.

It's like the Cadillac of those bitches, and I'd be riding.

And like those Polaris fucking things, too.

Yeah, but I like the four-wheeler because you could dog.

You can really bitch.

You know what I'm saying?

The Polaris is just some cool shit to vibe with.

Like, you got homegirl with you or something.

But if you got somebody like who, like, I went

in Australia, I went to Daniel Ricardo's ranch, the F1 driver.

Nice.

And he drives a Polaris like fucking sideways.

Like it's

nuts.

And then also another thing, the turbo on that bitch, when it hits, I feel like I'm breaking it every time I hit the gas.

Like it just sounds ugly.

If anyone else had been driving, we for sure would be dead the way he was doing it.

But he's like so proficient, you're just like, yeah.

I mean, like the whole way, like 60 miles an hour sideways.

all over this thousand acre ranch.

It was fucking insane.

They do it in sand dunes in Michigan.

And you go fucking falling.

You know, it's so funny.

A long time ago, when I was working at Birth Conquer,

we did four wheelers.

It was four wheelers in mud.

It was a big contest in Texas.

And they had a big fucking mud pit.

And the whole idea was you and a partner got on your four-wheel, and you had to make it all the way across.

You'd haul ass in.

You'd get stuck.

You'd be leaning to one side.

And I was like.

Man, this is going to be redneck as fuck.

And there's something about redneck.

Like, there's something about, there's some, some, look, I'm not going to talk shit about my own people.

Man, I'm a brown neck fool.

Well, I got out there.

There's something about rednecks that make me unnerved because I know them.

My wife's family is the entire thing.

And they always think, hey, no one getting hurt today.

And I'm going to really take this city boy for a ride.

And I got out there.

There were no white people.

It was all Mexican rednecks.

And I was like, what the fuck?

Yeah, it was funny.

And man, I was like, same fucking same.

I had this dude on my thing.

He was like, he was as fat as I was.

We were both pretty big at the time.

And he was like, we get stuck in the mud.

And he'd be like, get in there.

Get in.

And I was fucking covered in mud.

And dude, we had so, but I was like, there is not one white.

They're all Mexican rednecks.

Really?

Oh,

where were you?

I want to say like Katie, Texas.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

You was in Crosby.

Yeah,

I forget.

You can find it online, I'm sure.

But there was like, Parts of Texas, man.

I think, what is El Paso the one right on the border?

Yes.

El Paso is not really Texas.

It's really kind of just a little bit more Mexico.

A little more.

Oh, no.

You could be at a house.

Like, I'll be on the roof of a house and it's me looking at Mexico.

Oh, yeah.

In El Paso, for sure.

Oh, I'll fuck with El Paso, too.

El Paso there is a blast.

Yeah, yeah.

It's a really fun stand.

And then, you know, you're in El Paso and you're like...

You can spend most of the day not speaking English to anybody.

Yeah.

Yeah, there's a lot.

It's really a Mexican.

It's like a Mexican town.

Have y'all ever been to the valley?

Well, I don't even know who who that is.

The 956 of Texas?

Like Laredo, McAllen, Farr, and all that?

I don't know if maybe done a show.

I've done so many smaller town shows in Texas.

I may have been there.

Mercedes, West Lago,

West Lago.

Maybe done Lago.

West Lago.

There you go.

I don't know.

I grew up over there, too.

It's kind of like El Paso, though.

Really?

Really?

Yeah, fuck yeah.

I really dig a border town like that.

So we used to, my Theo Chew used to take us to Mexico, and they would take us to these bars and shit.

And I remember there was this dude, and he was, I don't know if he was simple-minded or what the fuck he was, but he was some throat off.

Yeah.

And he couldn't do much.

But he would, you know, those old school boom radios with the two speakers and the fucking knobs and shit?

Yeah.

He would bust that bitch down into screws and fucking and springs and then put it back together.

Really?

Yeah.

That's all he could do, though.

Yeah.

All right.

What's the best Mexican name?

Jewie's pretty fucking great.

Chico.

Chico?

I like it.

I like Guillermo.

Guillermo?

Guillermo.

I love that.

There was a guy.

There was a guy that rushed our fraternity when we were in college.

And they're like, ladies and gentlemen, this guy's badass name's Guidemo.

And everyone's like, oh.

And then a fucking Cuban guy in the back goes, his name is Willie.

Yeah.

I go, what?

And he goes, it's Willie, just so we're all clear.

That's what it is.

It's Willie.

Sound like a fucking warrior in Spanish.

Sounds like a fucking guy with an uncircumcised cock who knows how to come.

And then you meet Chilly Willie, and you're like, what's up, buddy?

Damn, bro.

I ain't going to lie.

So you're a bad motherfucker and you're tough, bro.

You've been doing this for a while.

You fucked me up with that shit.

I think that's cool as fuck, bro.

Get him all.

Chewy's a badass name.

Chewy's got a name.

A lot of Ernies.

Yeah, but you, though.

Like, you in general.

What?

Like, you're just a bad motherfucker.

Those videos you were showing me earlier, that shit's cool, bro.

No,

I was hungry for fame and money.

I was a fucking idiot.

It worked.

I used to do, dude, I've done some stuff.

Like, I was the first person to jump off Stratosphere.

What is Stratosphere?

In Vegas, you know, the big spear, the the big, like,

it's the tallest building east, west of the Mississippi.

Nice.

And so it's like 1,100 feet, I think, up.

Well, the crazier thing is that you hate heights.

I hate heights.

I got this show called Birth of Conqueror where I would do crazy, like, jumped off stratosphere, did a rope swing of, like, in New Zealand, like 500-foot free fall, jumped off the tall stadium in Africa.

Crazy.

But the whole thing was, I fucking hated it.

Yeah.

And it was like, and I'm really regular.

So, like,

I'm not like a thrill seeker.

So it was.

Man, you know, it's a big fucking fear of mine, but I've been wanting to do it.

You know who Brian Gaffey is?

He's in the industry with this music shit.

I ain't think so.

Anyways,

he be fucking instructing

scuba diving.

And I want to do it so bad, but I want to do it because it's one of my biggest fears.

Yeah.

The unknown of the water.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, there's, I don't know, but I think there's aliens in the water.

They are.

They're called octopus.

Yeah, right?

They're really.

Why won't you eat octopus?

Hold on.

Did Rogan show you the picture of the octopus with the claws on it?

No, show me.

There's an octopus with claws on it.

Either that or I dreamt it.

Okay.

Why don't you eat it?

Because I really do think it's a life form.

I think it's a life.

Oh, you were saying that earlier.

I think it's a different life form.

You think it's a different life form?

Yeah.

Have you ever seen the way octopuses can change into the rock?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, octopuses.

I dreamed it.

Is it octopus or octopus octopus with claws do not have claws oh fuck he dreamt i must have dreamt it i was an octopus with crab claws anyway

scuba diving is interesting have you ever scuba dived i've never scuba dived so scuba diving i've only snorkeled you know you you take the lesson you do it in a pool very fun very fun very

i think i got this and then you do an open water dive and you have a moment where you where maybe the weather isn't perfect maybe it isn't beautiful maybe it's a little way but scuba divers don't give a fuck.

They're underwater.

But if you're a regular person, you're like, but it's raining and there's thunder and lightning.

And they're like, we'll be fine.

We're going to be 40 feet below.

And you're like, but it's getting dark.

And they're like, that's when it's the best.

And you're like, hold on.

And then there's a moment where you hit your BC and you start to sink.

And you have to realize,

am I excited for the stuff down there?

Or the stuff I love, is it all up here?

Yeah.

Because I got to pick one.

And man, that is when panic sets in, when you start sinking for the average person, just dropping and remembering to breathe

and being cool.

And it gets dark and dark and then cold and then cold and it changes.

And then

it's pitch black, and you're just going down and you're waiting for an animal to come by you and you don't see anything.

And you're looking for the ship that they tell you, you'll see the mast at 60 feet.

And you're like, I don't see shit.

I don't see shit.

I don't see shit.

I don't see shit.

I see bubbles.

I don't see shit.

And then all of a sudden,

a ship.

And you realize this ship, the day those guys left it, was the worst day of their life.

Yeah, and now I'm gonna go check out someone's biggest tragedy.

The day they were like, fuck it, I love my kids.

I want to just live.

And now I'm down there going,

dude.

Spooky.

And then you see a fish come around the corner, and the fish is like, what the fuck are you doing here?

You're like, I don't know.

Do you like, do you like it though?

I have liked it.

I went swimming with whale sharks in Japan.

Man, I want to, bro, but like, I just, I feel like I watch too many movies.

Yeah, no, no, no.

You go, this is what you do.

You got to be very specific with what you want.

Set your intention to the dive instructor and say, I don't want to go deeper than 20 feet.

That way you're never going to run into the problem of getting the bends.

You can go to round, do it when you're in like the Bahamas and just shallow scuba diving.

It's not the thing that people fucking love.

People want to go down 90 feet.

They want to go down 130 feet.

That's where atmospheres change.

That's where all of a sudden it's a change.

That's where the aliens are.

Yeah, that's where the aliens are.

Bro, I've seen a video of this dude.

He was in the water and he was,

his hands were like, you know, on the fucking floor and something came out the sand and wrapped around his hand.

And it looked like that.

You seen life?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It looked like the fucking alien from life.

Remember how I grabbed the old black dude's hand?

It looked just like that.

And, you know, I don't know if it was real or not.

There's some really fucking weird.

You know, there's everybody.

Oh, there's fish out there that create light.

Every year they discover new species at a different depth.

And every time you see them, you're like, that looks like fucking amazing.

Yeah, definitely looks like you have to go scuba diving.

You have to go scuba diving and film it.

I'm only doing it to conquer it.

You can get certified like at a local YMCA, you know, like they teach it at places like that.

Or you can, what you can do is like, and definitely in the Bahamas, I've done this in the Bahamas.

You can get a day certification where you go into the pool and they teach you what you kind of need to know.

And then you'll swim.

An instructor will be by you, which is great.

You know, you want that anyway.

And

you can go scuba diving they can go scuba diving it's shallow scuba dive but it's fun you seen that pool where they teach you how to scuba dive it's like the deepest pool in the world and it's yes you know it's like a it's like a cylinder going down i want to do that that's it just because i know there's nothing in there well i hope not

how deep is it it's it's deep enough to look down and have a panic attack

pull up the deepest pool in the world i know you're exactly what you're talking about and you see the dude's free dive yeah free dive down in it hey but it's some cool shit though because like like i say you're going down like this, but there's different shit on the walls you could do.

It's in Dubai Dubai.

Wow.

Look at that.

Click it.

How deep you think?

Look at that.

Holy fuck.

What?

148 feet?

That's crazy.

Dubai, man.

They just got crazy money.

Yeah, stupid money.

I bet you'd kill in Dubai.

You think so?

Fuck yes.

I'd have to do it.

What you do is you put on the fucking whole chic outfit, right?

And like, they don't see any of the tats and you put on the fucking hat and then you just rip it off and everyone's like, oh, shit.

What the fuck is this dude?

Surprise.

Damn.

I don't know, though, bro, because I'd be in the airport.

Like, I'll be trying to be incognito, and then they just always know it's me.

Yeah.

It's like, oh, I know that ass anywhere.

That's wild, dude.

That pool is insane.

Nah, that shit's sick, bro.

And you know what's fucking crazy?

As a kid, I always, like, I love Poseidon.

I love the water.

I loved everything about the water.

Then I got older and started watching movies.

Yeah, it starts to fuck me.

Well, the deep ocean is a terrifying place, man.

I also think it's the most beautiful place on Earth.

Both.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's both, though.

Ocean or mountains.

If you had to retire right now and you had to pick one, ocean or mountains?

I like mountains more.

Oceans.

My wife will pick mountains.

My wife will pick ocean.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I would want to, but like I said, I just, that fear.

I don't like sharks either.

Oh.

I don't do that shit.

Can I tell you?

What?

You have to swim with sharks.

Do you remember when you were a kid?

I have to.

Pull up.

I did it in the keys.

Oh, you can do it in the keys out of the cage.

Hey, you just bring them up to you.

You saw the one where the fucking shark went in the cage?

Yeah.

See, nah, I have no idea.

No, we did.

We did North Shore.

It's North Shore Shark Adventure.

in Haleyeva in Hawaii.

And they bring you out and they have Galapagos sharks.

There's probably 40 around the cage, just see photo.

Yeah, and you're sitting in a cage, and I'll tell you, it's like going to church and getting it.

It's like, remember when you thought you got a chick pregnant, you went to church, and you were like, God, you told me all this one time.

Oh, I was gonna say this earlier, but we got talking about something else.

But it made me think of it when you said that.

I remember I was in sixth grade, this girl sucked my dick, and I thought I got her pregnant.

Which grade?

Sixth grade.

Just some kid shit.

You know, that sucked me up.

I thought it was fucking.

I thought the bitch was pregnant.

I was in sixth grade.

That was so far from my sixth grade here.

I can't even tell you.

I remember the first blowjob I got, she was sucking.

And I was like, I think you're doing it wrong.

And then I was like, never mind.

I like your way better.

Oh, fuck.

It's a blowjob.

You're supposed to be blowing into it.

I ain't gonna lie, though.

My dad, like I said, he went to prison.

And when he came out,

he had used my computer and it came back with every virus under the sun.

And fucking, you know, I like, bro, grandma and grandson, neighbor, pounds, fucking neighbor while, you know, husband's at work, just stupid shit.

So I just was, you know, and like I said, man, you know, I was being a kid walking in on my mama, fucking, you know what I'm saying?

Listening to my dad, fuck, you know, like, hey, I just always been around it.

So

is it, is it like, so I'm, I'm, I was saying to Pete today, I go, it's got to be tough being like a rapper and then having to always be

tough and always be like on point and be like manly like i'm a bitch no i dig that but like there's you ain't gotta be that tough like that there's different type of tough like yeah go fucking fight that bull it's tough yeah you know what i'm saying it's some cool shit but like my dad always like growing up like tough guys get hurt they're the first ones to get hurt you know what i'm saying you ain't gotta be a tough guy you're looking for a fight all

smart guy yeah you know

i was the dude when that when we went to college and guy was like, hey, we're about to get in a fight.

You got my back?

I'd be like, oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure.

And then I just walk out.

Oh, shit.

You ain't shit.

You ain't shit.

Oh, boy, he's looking back.

What the fuck is that?

I had, I think I still have one of the most punchable faces.

In every fight, we have to be able to do it.

Everybody's got trimmed today.

It looks, I like it.

Shut up.

What?

I over-trimmed my beard on accident.

I had the ones on.

I went, oh, motherfucker.

Yeah, I like it.

It looks good.

Yeah, I look very cherubic.

It's nice.

How many fights have you been in in your life?

A lot.

Let's, I don't know, rephrase that.

How many times have I been beaten up?

Oh, fuck.

Like, I mean, I fights when you decide you're going to fight, also, right?

Damn, so these motherfuckers have been coming up to you.

Oh, buddy.

I also.

This has already happened in a long time.

I haven't gotten punched in

the last fight fight I got into

was at the Starbucks with a guy that looked like Louis C.K.

Why?

Why?

This is the worst.

I was trying to get my bathing suit.

It was when we were doing Reality Bites Back and my sisters lived above the Starbucks.

So I pulled my fucking bathing suit.

How long ago?

How long ago was this?

Hold on.

That's exactly what I said.

I double parked and he got angry.

He was in a TLBMW and he was like,

and then as I pulled out,

he goes, pulls in, and then I'm at the light and he's like talking shit to me.

And I thought it was Louis C.K.

So I was like, hey, it's Louis C.K.

So I rolled down my window and like, that's not Louis C.K.

I go, and he's really upset.

I rolled, turned on my radio, and he goes, learn how to park, fucking asshole.

And I said to him, I was just getting my bathing suit.

And then he was like, huh?

Yeah.

And then I was like, and then I put it in park.

I said, you talk like a tough guy, act like a tough guy.

Oh, fuck.

And I got out of the car.

So you foolie, you foolie.

Like, come here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then everyone, and do you know who, do you know who, and I can't say he was there, but do you know know who was at that Starbucks every day,

every day at that time was Freddie Roach.

The boxing

He was always at that Starbucks.

I don't know if he was there that day.

This is the Valley one?

No, no, no, this is on Detroit Street and Welcher.

Why is your ass fight?

He's like, fuck.

Dude, wait a minute.

Wait, so you get out of the, does he get out of the car too?

No, he's already out of the car.

He's walking into Starbucks.

And I got, and I put my car on park, and I got out of the car.

I was like, what are you going to do?

And he was like sitting there.

I go, come on.

And then I walked around to the other side of the car.

I was like, let's go.

What are we gonna do now?

I just walked in and walked into Starbucks.

I was like, that's what I fucking thought.

And then I got my car and I was like, why am I doing that?

Yeah, I was gonna say, you were on one, fool.

I had that.

I don't have that anymore.

I don't, that is not in me anywhere at all.

But, like, there was a lot of times in college that like,

I know.

Oh, this was a while ago.

It was a long time ago.

This is when, yeah.

Yeah.

I don't have any like inclination to punch anyone.

Yeah.

And I don't want to be hit at all.

My dad, he fucking, I remember seeing people get in my dad's face and he'd be like, hey, roll up a joint and get some shots over here.

You tripping.

Like, be my friend.

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

He was able to de-escalate things.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now he's like, he just fucking walking up to you and he's like, what the fuck you going to do?

I've seen him.

I've seen him be fucked up, grab somebody's drink, drink it, and sat it down and looked at them.

You know what I'm saying?

That's a pretty hard move.

Yeah, no, my dad, he's a bully now.

Was he, was he.

He got more bullyish as he got older?

Yeah.

As he got older, he just, he's like, fuck this shit.

Yeah, it's hilarious.

And you guys jacked, right?

Oh, bro.

Fuck it.

He's always been like that.

The way Rogan, like, he was just always in shape.

That's how my dad was.

My dad, he would, bro.

So

he would have all the strip clubs jumping.

And, you know, and

the owners love my dad.

The bitches love my dad.

So he would bring the house party home every fucking night, Monday through Sunday.

And I'm living with him in the seventh seventh grade.

And

he would wake me up four or five o'clock in the morning.

Sean, you ready to get down there?

Whoopass?

What the fuck are you talking about?

And he would have a house full of women and a few dudes there.

And those dudes are there because he met him at the club.

And he's like, oh, you rub?

Bad, watch this.

Come on.

And he'd bring him home and he'd fucking have me rap out of these grown-ass men.

And I'd eat them alive.

And then his...

One of his hoes would take me to school or I'd take the city bus.

I mean, to a taxi, not the city bus.

That is such a crazy upbringing story.

Nah, yeah.

It was crazy.

I mean, it was fun.

It was cool, though.

Sometimes I wouldn't even go to school.

He'd be like, son, make me oatmeal.

I'd go down there and make him so oatmeal come up.

He's fucking.

And we'd fall asleep all day.

I'd fucking wake up, come out of my room, the oatmeal's still sitting there.

My story is like, one time I got to watch a rated R movie that year.

Like, that's the craziest shit that happened to me in seventh grade.

There was no strippers and fucking rapping.

That's wild, dude.

But my parents were kids when they had me.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I dig it.

So

when's recess come out?

August.

I want to drop it in August.

Have you recorded everything already?

Yeah, it's all done.

It's all done.

That's what I'm saying.

I got to send it to you.

I want you to listen to it.

I'd love to.

I'd love to.

Because there's like 17 tracks on there.

Nice.

Wow.

And do you have, do you, when you make an album, it seems like everyone's got guests on it.

Yeah.

No, yeah, I got some features on there.

Features, I'm sorry.

Yeah,

I love my Texas artists, though.

I just love working with the Texas artists.

Yeah, I feel like the Power Rangers, whenever we fucking get together, you know, but I got a I got Danzel on there.

He's not from Texas, but Denzel is one of my favorite features on there.

Of course, Wayne is on there.

What's it like working with Wayne?

I wasn't with him in the studio.

Oh, you weren't?

No, I wasn't, but it was cool as fuck, you know, having it.

Because, like, bro, if you're rapping from 95 to now, you or your favorite rapper was influenced by Wayne.

Oh, 100%.

Yeah.

1,000%.

I mean, I think that.

But for like 10 years straight,

he got my whole childhood in a headlock.

Yeah.

Drake, he brought out Drake.

What the fuck?

Yeah.

Drake's one of the greatest, you know?

Yeah.

And then I'm going to also say this.

Wayne considered the greatest of all time.

Wayne.

Right?

Yeah.

And he's reciting Big Mo lyrics.

He's sipping Drink.

That's all Texas.

You know, you got Drake coming from Canada talking about, oh, Houston Strippers, Candy Paint, switching colors in the light.

I'm in love with Syrup.

Like, that's all Texas shit.

That's all Texas shit.

You know, like, for the longest, Texas has been the shit.

Nobody just wanted to give us our flowers.

And now you got people like Big Ex to Plug and, you know, me.

And

I don't know.

I guess that's what it took to get the recognition.

Yeah.

But it's like, we've been the shit.

Is it possible that you will be the biggest Mexican rapper in history?

I don't know.

We got the positive title.

So who's got the title right now?

I don't know.

That's some hard Mexican rappers, though.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But fuck that.

I'm just going to go down in general hard.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because I'm shitting on a lot of the whites.

I'm shitting on a lot of the blacks.

I'm shitting on a lot of races that are rapping.

Oh, I thought I was like, that's Thomas Act.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah, I'm a lot of people.

Have you seen Movie 43?

No.

Fuck.

What's Homeboy's name?

Movie 43, I was just showing you the scene where he was giving them the speech.

Yeah, Terrence Howard.

But there's the white dude.

Fuck, man.

Find it.

Someone that works for me.

Jeremy Allen White.

The white dude, right?

From the bear?

Yes.

Yeah.

Cool as fuck, bro.

Anyways, there's a skit in this movie where the girl was like, I love you.

Like,

I want to get serious with you.

And he was like, okay, let's do it.

She was like, she was like, I just need you to do something for me.

And he was like, what?

Anything, babe, I love you.

She was like, I want you to poop on me.

Cause right there, Dennis.

Dennis quite hell.

Dennis crazy.

Yeah.

Anyway, she was like, I want you to poop on me.

And he was like, what the fuck?

What?

He was like, all right.

Like she's in this fucking movie.

Everybody.

Everyone's in this fucking movie.

Please watch it.

I will now.

Justin Long.

All of them, bro.

All the greats.

Justin Long.

Shout out Justin Long.

I would love to smoke and meet you, dog.

I think that's attainable.

Apparently, he's a really cool dude, and he just fucking hangs.

I love Justin.

Movie 43.

Yeah, you know who you got to get.

You know who you got to do.

Go take a piss.

You know who you got to rap with is Tom Hardy.

Tom Hardy?

Do you know Tom Hardy?

Yeah, he pulled up.

Yeah.

Pull up Tom Tom Hardy rapping.

Tom Hardy, apparently, that's his whole thing was he was going to be a rapper first.

What?

Yeah.

But I think he does that.

Are you fucking cheating me?

Yeah, Tom Hardy is a rapper.

You know who's the hardest rapper that's not a rapper?

Who?

Shyla Buff.

I heard that.

He's the fucking nastiest dog.

I was talking to Yellow Wolf, and he was trying to get him on the song, and he was like, nah, man, it's just a hobby.

Did you ever see him on Sway?

Shut the fuck up.

Here, put headsets on.

You can hear it.

They're headsets right next to you.

What the

tears on my eyes are.

Fucking surrounded by these likes and lies.

In this world, I hold my wife to my chest.

In the night, I curse her face.

Goes to mine.

Wipe the tears from my eyes.

I don't need to see my baby cry.

Hey, guys.

Yeah, to the beginning.

Is he talking about God?

I hold my wife to my chest in the night.

I press her face close to mine.

Wipe the tears from her eyes.

I don't need to see my baby cry.

You hold my hand, I hold it tight as I can.

These are memories to die for.

People to die for.

These are real life to live for.

People to die for.

The real people to fight for.

The real people.

They take you, replace you, and blaze through you like politicians always do.

But the law states that we're all free, but they make more papers.

And we get red tape and they get all the tape.

And we get screwed when they say big mistakes in real estate.

When we put up with billcases, we ain't got on our

What do you think about British hip-hop?

I'm not shitting on British hip-hop.

I love what's it, what's my favorite guy?

Poundsy?

Wonzi?

I don't know.

Poundsy?

I don't know enough to answer that.

But I'm going to tell you what I do know, and I'm not too much of a fan of it.

Yeah.

From what I do know.

I mean, you know,

of course I know Central C.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

But other than that, I ain't really just did my homework into it.

I'm not a big fan of it.

There's some of it.

I mean, I like all rap.

I feel like what's interesting to me is just the same way that, like,

Atlanta has its sound.

Memphis has its sound.

You can know where they from.

Yeah.

And then I think that Britain's just a different place that just has one sound.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

I mean, I've always said this.

It blew my mind when I moved from, because I listened to hip-hop growing up.

I was in Florida.

Florida, everything was about having a car with bass.

A dunk.

Yeah.

Yeah, y'all had dunks.

Well, I had a Volkswagen Fox, but I had a bass there.

And when I moved to New York, I was listening to Wu-Tang clan, and I was like, there's no bass in this.

Yeah, it's all boom baby.

But it's all because everyone's got headsets on.

That's how they take in their hip-hop.

And I was like, oh, shit.

And so, Kaiser, my favorite, one of my favorite rappers ever, two duos is MJG and Ape Apell.

What?

I fucking love them.

That's sick.

If you ask my daughter, when my daughters were little girls, I used to play alcohol, pussy, and weed all the time in the car.

That's cool.

Yeah.

It's hard as fuck.

MJG and Orange Mountain, Tennessee.

Yeah.

Swab House.

Dude, I fucking, that was like my favorite.

Yeah.

Oh.

I love that East Coast rap, though.

Yeah.

Hell yeah.

Yeah.

I'm big eyes.

I think he's really into hip-hop.

I mean, that era, too, is like,

you know, everything from like Rakim, Kane, Gangstar.

I'm going to say Buster 50 and Big L

are the reason why I'm dirty, fast, and player.

Those three.

Yes.

Yeah.

And like the East Coast, as a student of the game, the East Coast is what made me an animal.

Yeah.

Really?

I'm from the South, so I'm forever going to have that swagger and that cool shit.

You know what I'm saying?

But like, as far as being complex, shit, the East Coast made it.

They made it, yeah.

Yeah, for sure.

Like, bro, the way they would manipulate words to rhyme, rhyme, but still make sense.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, being able to rhyme the whole bar and not just the last word.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, that shit was sick.

Some of those guys have, like, inimitable styles.

Like, you know, there was a time where, like, you could.

And then the way they're animated.

Yeah, they're animated, but like, you know, it's so, like, it's so hard to emulate.

Busta's style because it's so specifically him, and it's complicated.

Yeah.

It's complicated.

Like, it's not easy to hear it and like say it back.

You have that, too, where I feel like it's complicated.

It's not, you're not an easy guy to mimic.

Thank you.

You know, which is, I think, a huge compliment.

Yeah.

But, like,

yeah, I feel like Busta was one of the ones where you're like.

Fucking nasty.

Did you ever jam the World Wide Choppers?

No.

Tech Nine.

It was Tech Nine, Busta, fucking Twister.

Had all the fastest rappers on there.

Yellow Wolf was on that bitch.

Yeah.

I remember jamming it.

Crazy.

I love that we're both fucking barefoot.

Can I tell you?

I knew you were my guy when you rolled into my house barefoot.

I'm like, Tom, how do you think?

It's such a Burt move.

I am fucking barefoot.

I'm a barefoot motherfucker.

You can do that?

Oh, nice.

It's wild.

Hey, I opened a soda can at Mike Boosey's house with my toe.

With a

soda can?

In Orlando?

Yeah.

Are you shitting me?

Yeah.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

We need to go.

Oh, we do.

That's where you can shoot some guns and some Gator.

Oh, yeah, in the fucking, in the fan boat.

Yeah, bro.

That shit is sick.

Gator hunting is crazy down there.

Yeah.

So the first place I ever had Gator was Orlando.

I didn't think that was legal doing it there.

Oh, yeah, they do it.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, you can go on the 520 and stop on the way to the airport and get like fresh caught gator.

Nah, that's sick as fuck.

Amazing.

The best is all the people catching pythons.

That's fucked that.

You know what?

I want to hunt iguana.

You can.

They're fucking invasive.

Yeah, that's what they were telling me out there.

I want to do that bad.

I think we have some hunting trips planned, guys.

I think we do.

We do, bro.

We got a wrap.

We got to get to that point.

Oh, we got a bottle signing.

We got to go sign bottles of our vodka.

Do you drink?

Bro.

Yes.

Well, we'll get some vodka for you as soon as you get to the bottom.

You like vodka?

I like tequila.

Okay.

That clear shit gets me mean.

Okay, can I tell you?

This is how

the liquor business works.

Let me see.

I was talking to

a beer guy and I said something and I said something like,

I say, you know what, I think he worked for like

Corona.

And I was like, you know who you should get a really great comedian.

I don't know if you know him, Steve Trevino from, he's in Texas, but he's a Mexican guy.

I go, he's really big.

He's a beer drinker.

You should get him.

And this guy said to me, man,

we already got the Mexicans.

I need a white like you.

No, really?

He goes, yeah, man, you go against brand.

So like, if I'm selling tequila, I don't try to get a Mexican guy to sponsor my tequila.

I need a white guy like George Clooney to sell tequila to whites.

Tommy, what we need tequila is a Mexican to sell our vodka.

Oh, I got you.

I got you.

If we can break into the Mexican culture and just go, hey, it's not a tequila night.

Come on.

It's a vodka night.

Come on.

Yeah.

We could do that.

We could do that.

Are you looking for some liquor without the taste of tequila at all?

What's your chaser for you, guys?

I use pickle juice.

Oh, you do?

Yeah, I'd be a pickleback pickleback that bad.

You got to try this vodka.

It's great vodka.

It's great.

You got it right now?

I got it right now.

Yeah.

Pull the bad boy out.

Let's take a shot of vodka.

I just want to survive it.

Let me smell it.

Let me smell it.

Let me just let you know.

Let me smell porosis in here.

I would like your taste.

As an artist,

you are a person who...

Picks what they wear, and I got to tell you,

your style is unquestionable.

Thank you.

You design your albums.

You fucking write your raps.

Everything is yours.

It's your thumbprint as an artist.

I'd love to see, this is our thumbprint.

We picked everything from the label to the styling to

every aspect of this bottle, we hand-picked.

Well,

I already know I'm going to fuck with it because it's coming from your brain like that.

I hope you like it.

And then actually,

I know this is going to sound like bullshit because this is what you have to say, but the truth is, we had about 15 flavor profiles that we had to pick from, and me and him landed on the exact same two.

And then on those two, we tasted them a couple times, and we chose one independently.

We didn't tell each other what we picked, and we picked the exact same taste.

We've won how many contests in our

gold, we're gold medaling, I think, three now.

Yeah, damn, so we're it's legit, and and and I,

all I have is bottles of this fucking vodka in this house, and I'm waiting, going, where?

How about where I keep all of them?

Yeah, I got two things.

I saw 15 on the way in.

There's 15.

I don't know how it's is it Sandra?

Is it Sandra?

She just learned English, so she gets lost.

All right.

Hey, Sandra.

Ask someone if you're having a hard time.

We need glasses, too.

Good luck, Tom.

Come up.

I'm going to go need glasses and show my readers.

Oh, these are not ones?

Today's Peter's last day.

Ooh.

All right, here we go.

Sandra.

Cool.

We'll just drink out of our palms of our hands.

Okay, good.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, nice.

Oh, shit.

I told him you just learned English.

Bro, thank you.

Yeah.

Am I.

Oh, shut the fuck up.

She's the best actress in this entire fucking company.

Do you like it here?

Do you like America?

Nice.

We did a read where she spoke in Vietnam because there's a lot of Vietnamese in Houston.

Thank you.

Okay.

She, there's a lot of Vietnamese people.

Corpus Christie, Texas?

In Houston.

A lot of Vietnamese people.

Oh, is that Corpus Christie?

Oh, yeah.

Must have sold out.

By the way, this is distilled right outside of Houston.

Let me see this.

Oh, no, she's not.

By the way, hey, hang on.

Would you be interested in the tequila?

Because I think we're going to.

Yeah, yeah.

Sick.

I love the whole bear thing, too.

Yeah.

Such you can't eat bear.

You can.

She's got mercury.

Uh-oh.

You got to eat it slowly.

Shots.

All right, come on, man.

Let's do this.

Let's do this.

Cheers, boys.

Bottles are 10 out of 10, man.

Hopefully it tastes good.

Thanks for coming here today.

Hey.

What am I doing?

Congratulations on recess.

I can't wait to hear it.

You're a tragic recess.

Congratulations on all your success.

Man, thank you.

You are a fun person.

You're a fun person to end up in my scroll.

Whenever I see you, I get excited.

You bring a smile to my face.

Keep being you, man.

Man, thank you, bro.

Blessings, baby, brother.

So many more, cousin.

Oh, I gotta tap your glasses.

There we go.

Let's go.

There we go.

Oh, what the fuck?

Nice.

Hey, that's a good, that's a good review.

Whoa.

I'll take that.

Holy shit.

Do it.

It's a good way to start the day.

This is dangerous.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Holy fuck.

This sick shit, bro.

I can take this.

Damn, sell it.

Fuck yeah.

We need to sell this shit.

Hey.

I bet you say it better than I say it.

Yeah, you want some fucking vodka?

Come get it from the Mexican, dog.

Porosos.

For real.

That bitch is bad, bro.

I hate drinking.

Yeah.

Hate it.

Yeah, me too.

It has.

What the fuck?

That fucked me.

Yeah,

That fucked me.

I hate pussy.

I hate drinking.

I hate cake.

I mean, French fries piss me off, too.

CJ, please try this.

Yeah.

Holy fuck.

We gotta wrap.

Let's wrap.

Man, again, boys, blessings.

Y'all have a good one.

May God be with everybody.

We love you.

Peace.

Peace.

Bert and Tom.

Tom and Bert.

One goes topless while the other wears a shirt.

Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine.

There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean.

Here's what we call two bears, one cave.