The Hottest & Baldest Episode Ever w/ Sean Evans | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

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Welcome to another episode of 2Bears One Cave.

Sad, sad news about my regular co-host.

He had an arm amputated.

And so while he's recovering, we have the king of ring sting sitting in for him.

It's the great Sean Evans, everybody.

Hey,

thanks so much for having me.

Thank you.

I hope Bert gets a cool prosthetic.

I do.

I'd like to see something, something titanium.

Yeah.

It's going to add a whole new dynamic to his live show.

Thanks for being here.

You're in town because South by Southwest is, and you're going to, what, you're going are you gonna speak yeah they have uh it's a totally full schedule it's been a really busy year but yeah just an itinerary that's packed for like the next couple days where god it sounds awful they'll shove me into a room take a bunch of pictures do this interview sit on this panel do a bunch of stuff um you know i'm leaning into this year so like

You know, I was just, I was at the Oscars last weekend.

We did like Sundance like the weekend before that.

Like the whole calendar has filled up and I'm just kind of leaning into it right now.

Every time I arrive somewhere and they go, This is your calendar, my objective is: I go, How can we reduce this?

That's what I lead with.

How can we do less instead of what you've proposed?

I think that's something that comes with growth, you know.

But right now, this is my first time kind of going through the film.

Oh, okay, this is the fun.

Yeah, yeah, so I'm pinko-balling through it.

Yeah, cool.

I'll review it afterwards and figure out what we need to do.

You'll go, never do this to me again.

That'll be the subject line, never again.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, I'm learning all those things.

Well, you've been,

I mean,

everybody who knows from watching anything on YouTube, everybody knows hot ones.

And the trajectory of this thing is incredible.

You're like the, that's the prototype.

That's the dream for people is they go, I have an idea.

I'd like to do this, you know, this bit kind of online and maybe it'll turn into something.

And then the A ⁇

example is hot ones.

That's got to feel pretty amazing.

Yeah, it does.

I never take for granted this unique magic carpet ride that I've been on.

and i'll also say that a lot of it came by accident you know like we had this idea but i don't think we realize the degree to which you know hot sauce is a disruptive element all the hours spent like really committing to the interview the way that it would kind of make this what's it like to have a beer with this person show that people have been trying to invent for a really long time so everybody's doing knockoffs of it

right you like yeah i think yeah people

and sometimes i kind of miss even just this like this is fine you know know, you don't have to add some sort of high concept to it.

I remember watching, maybe it was before a Monday night football game, and it was Sims doing an interview with someone with Patrick Mahomes, and they're doing this interview, and then they mixed into it like plain catch with each other.

Right.

And I remember that being just a distracting element,

but it comes from a place of people sitting around in a boardroom being like, Well, we can't just do an interview.

We have to interview, like, we have to introduce something, some sort of high concept to it, which maybe it's gone a little too far i didn't realize to the genius of hot ones until after doing it which is that like on its surface it can appear that like oh this is some gimmick like eat hot wings right but the thing that happens is that when you have something like hot sauce it disrupts your your natural guard.

Yeah.

So as these questions progress and you're uncomfortable, you're speaking in a way that you would not normally speak.

And that's really the magic.

You're like, cause like you could do with alcohol, but then you have like, you know, it's different, right?

You have your inhibitions are kind of like, it's also, it's like, it's making you, it's going to affect you for a longer period, right?

You're going to be.

drunk eventually.

But this is like this temporary thing that throws off your equilibrium and your judgment.

All of a sudden, it's like truth serum.

It's truth serum is what it is.

Yeah.

And I think it also just distracts you from the formality of an interview yeah you know like

it's so bizarre just the concept in general that you'll sit down oftentimes with someone that you're meeting for the first time you'll have to create this rhythm this energy this rapport and this sense of trust with someone and then you're doing it in this ridiculous context of having all these cameras pointed at you and it being a show you know that just in its architecture should probably brick 90% of the time.

You know, like interviews should have like a 90% fail rate when you just look at how they're designed.

But I think just the act of sharing a meal with somebody, that's something that can kind of create that trust.

And then the hot sauce and then just being disoriented by the whole thing, I think you just kind of forget that you're on an interview show.

Plus the way that we shoot, it's like deep in the room, the black curtains, all of that stuff.

You can kind of disappear into a void.

There's all these little things

that are very detailed.

I feel like too, like we, you know, I've watched a lot of them and I've obviously I've been on the show and you're like, you start to appreciate that you kind of leave there and you're like, what the fuck just happened there?

Um, how did they know this stuff?

And, like, like, why did what did I just say?

Do I have to text them and say, please cut that out?

Like, all those things.

But I feel like also you're so good at interviewing that I think you're next, you know, like at some point, you're going to stop doing it.

Right.

You're our next Charlie Rose.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, I remember, I think he was the man, and then he like peed on someone.

I forget what it was.

And then they stopped letting him do the show.

But we need the guy who gives the really good in-depth interview.

Well, thanks.

I appreciate the compliment.

Well, half compliment.

It's a real compliment.

Shout out to Charlie Rose.

I'm still a fan.

Yeah, I think.

you know, interviewing is just, it's something that I don't think anyone's naturally good at in the beginning.

And I think you only get better by the reps and all the hours that you have to put in.

So that's always what I've just tried to tried to stay committed to is the next interview, trying to make it a little bit better than the next one and just keep building those things.

What do you advise for an interviewer?

Like, if somebody was like, How do you give a good interview?

Like, what's your take on it?

Um, I think be naturally curious and enthusiastic.

When you're doing the kind of interview that I'm doing, if you're talking to a movie star that has a movie coming out, um, I think it's the best thing, the way that I do it is I just try to walk a mile in someone else's shoes.

So, if we're interviewing a musician, I'll listen to all the music, make a playlist.

That'll become the soundtrack to my life for a week.

If they've, if they have a whole filmography, you know, end your night with like a little double feature and really soak in their output as an artist.

Because I think in a lot of ways, that can communicate who they are as a person just as much as anything that you would read in a profile or whatever.

And then obviously, you should do that other work and really dive into all the stuff.

And then you have so many resources on YouTube, so many interviews, so many things that you can reference in order to get a better understanding of the person that you're talking to.

But I think overall,

people that begin, they'll probably just make a list of questions and just try to fill up that sheet.

I think like that's kind of enough or whatever.

That's the

when you when you're doing press, they always like, hey, you want to do an interview with this college kid?

And you're like, sure.

And then the college kid is like, what made you like comedy?

And you're like,

I watched it.

And they're like, when did you start?

And then they're like, I have four more.

And you're like, okay.

Yeah.

And it's like they're filling their quota.

Exactly.

Yeah.

They just want to fill up the sheet and be like, well, that's the, that's, I've done my job.

And now I'll ask the questions and kind of rely on the other person to elevate this whole thing.

Yeah.

Your whole thing is essentially don't be lazy.

Let's basically

put in a lot of time.

It's effort.

You just put effort.

You guys put time and effort into it.

I think it's obvious, like when you do the show and when you watch the show, you're like, oh, they didn't just like go, tell us about your movie.

Right.

Yeah.

Well, I think that that's also important because you're coming in to eat these scorching hot chicken wings.

I think it's only right that we meet someone halfway.

It's kind of just a respect thing.

But also,

and maybe you can speak to this, but if you're sitting down with somebody who's just like has their list or whatever, you know, the value of an interview is going to depend a lot on the generosity of the person that you're interviewing.

Yeah.

So I think that if you meet them halfway, if you

show them, especially early on, that it's going to be a different kind of interview, then they'll relax their shoulders.

And then that can be just as disarming as the wings and the sauce.

So I think it's that combination of things and

that really can make a good interview.

But I think it's also just reps and time and hours doing it that makes you better.

It's clear that you guys do a better job.

It's so funny because it's non-traditional media and then you go, this is like, right, you know, it's online versus like a ABC show or something.

And you're like, yeah, but you guys did a way better interview.

Like you guys did a way better interview.

And then it gets probably, even though you guys have, it's wildly popular and you have so many views, I'm sure there's a percentage of the public that are like, I don't watch this chicken wing shit.

Like,

you know, they're like, I want to watch the traditional thing where I learned nothing about this person.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think so too.

But I think that's really changing a lot because,

you know, obviously there's the eyeball situation, you know, like so many eyeballs now on these internet shows.

And then the production has flattened so much.

You know, when you're looking at something on YouTube, it looks just as good as it does on those network shows.

And then when you think about where a lot of these shows, I'll include ours, live in culture, the kinds of guests they have in, the numbers that they put up.

I think that kind of separating those two things is just, it's just a matter of time before that disappears because I think all of that has flattened so much.

I think you're right.

It's widely reported that the show has been sold, but you still get to operate it.

So now that you're legit wealthy, what are the bitches like, dude?

I don't know.

It's kind of dry out here right now.

Yeah, yeah, there's a there's a big responsibility now

with what we have going on because we didn't plug into anything.

You know, like we basically plugged into severance.

Yeah.

So now I feel like I've had such a busy year.

Like January was the busiest month of my career so far until February hit.

Because of the lead up to selling it or no?

I think now it's just there's the responsibility of doing now it's on us.

You know what I mean?

Like we were able to extract that Jenga piece and get our baby.

And now it just feels like

it all falls on our shoulders to make it successful.

So I've just been selling out

with everything that I do this year.

And then I think that also like coincides with the profile rising and then

a lot of these other pulls in various directions, including like the reason I'm here today, you know, in Austin.

So it's just been the studio, the airport, the hotel, back to the airport, to the studio, hotel, like nonstop.

Sean, as a fellow bomber jacket enthusiast, how do you go about picking your outfits for the episodes?

I appreciate you saying that because I recognize your bomber game and your polo game.

Thank you.

And I think that we're both similar that way.

Yeah.

So I have.

We both have beautiful bald heads.

And yeah, actually.

Or shaved.

Yeah.

Next Charlie Rose.

Maybe I'm trying to be the next Tom Segura.

Looks good, but you do put thought into it, right?

You always look sharp, dude.

Yeah, well, I'm a uniform dresser.

Like, I think it's like the same kind of vibe, but in just slightly different shades.

So

blue, black, and whatever color.

You have the same problem as me, too, where like the other day I got clothes shipped to the house, and I was like, I showed my wife, I was like, hey, what do you think of this?

And she was like looking down and she goes, it's going to be the same thing you always get.

I go, what?

She goes, you buy the same shit over and over.

And I was like, what the fuck, man?

Same with me, but it's just because

I'm not shopping, but like once I find a shape that I like yeah or a style that I like I'll just get more of those exactly and oh they have it in kind of different materials yeah and then you're like I have 40 of the same teams exactly so that's exactly what's going on right now okay good I'm glad we're on the same page

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Okay, here's my version.

Here's my hot ones pitch that we're going to do here, okay?

Okay.

Okay, you take your thumb up.

and you rub it along the crease of your scrotum and you take a whiff and then I'll ask you a question and we'll see if it disorients.

Okay.

Okay.

It should.

Okay.

All right, I'll start.

Okay.

So, uh,

now, whoa, Sean, a Super Bowl commercial is a big deal in and itself, in and of itself.

Uh, but when you add Matthew McConaughey to the mix, it goes from a cool gig to life event.

When you got the call to shoot with him, what was your immediate reaction?

I thought it was amazing, and then it was even better shooting with him because you see his process, you know, on the sidelines, which I'm like, wow, like the way that he's approaching this Uber Eats commercial, you know, like talking to the director like in real time workshopping alt lines.

I think the original line that I had in it was like something that was like

These

I can't remember what the original line was, but he was the one that changed down the spot to be like these wings deserve a team, you know, like and then and then he's talking to the director and he's like, he's like, uh-uh.

And then, you know, what if I'm like, I look over to Bill and I'm like, you got any, you got any good team, good team names for Buffalo, Bill, Bill.

You know, he's like doing that.

he's like you like that you like that I think the director is just like yeah that sounds good to me he's like Sean you like that you like that I'm like whatever you want Matthew he's like that's the one that's the one that's and then even when he was sitting down you know he'd like look to the director and he'd go now are we NFL execs wheeling and dealing are we common folk eating wings in a buffalo diner because he was like trying to get the motivation for his character you know and then I think the reason that that commercial works so well is because that's how he'll attack every scene that he does and then he gives a shit in that commercial.

He really cares.

He really gives a shit.

And it's kind of inspiring to me because in those situations, the only responsibility I'll feel is like, I'll be like, okay, just don't fuck up this line.

You know, just hit my mark, don't fuck up this line.

But then to see the way that he approaches it, 95% of us would be like, yeah, just don't fuck this up.

And then be like, did I do that okay?

And then they're like, yeah, that's fine.

But to see his just kind of creative process and enthusiasm in that moment, I thought was just amazing.

He was the best.

When he came here, like the fact that he was like, because we asked, you know, these certain questions about how he prepares, and you see how much he's not just a guy that's just like, what are the lines?

Let me just phone it in.

He really, really cares.

And I think that's why he elevates things.

That's how that's why he is who he is, and then why that commercial is good.

All right.

Now, stick your pinky in your asshole and take away.

And let's see.

All right.

Woo.

As someone who's constantly on the move, flying for interviews, brand deals, and the Hot Ones Empire, you've probably seen every possible version of in-flight madness.

What are the air travel pet peeves that drive you absolutely insane?

Are we talking barefeet on the bulkhead, people clapping when the plane lands, or something even more heinous?

I think, you know, part of the problem is everybody who works at airports is so burned out, you know, and you can kind of tell when you're going through.

Like the other day, I was, you know, going through a security line, you know, and I'm like, you know, just ask the TSA guys like, do laptops come out?

And he like didn't even really look at me, and he like looked over my shoulder and he goes, Laptops stay in the bag.

It's not that complicated, like that.

But in my head, I'm like, Yeah, dude, it is that fucking complicated.

It changes airport to airport, even in this airport, it changes lane to lane.

Like, it is that complicated.

So, but it's just kind of that over and over again.

Um, because then you go, How many times does like he's saying that because he's been asked that?

I understand where he's coming from, of course.

But he's got to be aware of that.

I understand your position, too, of course.

Exactly.

So, that's a problem.

Um,

I like to sleep on flights, so um, pilots that get super chatty and are like telling you that you're flying over the Grand Canyon and are going through like humidity of your um and wind speed of your uh destination when you land and they're really filling you in.

That can kind of stop.

Also, too, they'll pipe up and talk to you about um deals that you can get if you sign up for the United credit card and stuff like that.

We got a great deal for you guys: 35% APR.

Yeah, and they're just talking while I'm trying to sleep on the plane.

That's kind of insane to me.

Yes.

So as a food guy, because you're somebody we associate with food, it is kind of crazy to be in an enclosed space and people just bring all this food, sometimes food from home that opens up.

And then you're like, what the fuck is that?

I got a bag of eggs.

And you're like...

That's, yeah, it's just.

You couldn't have eaten that at the gate, man.

You're exposed to, yeah, we're all animals, and you're really exposed to it when you're at the airport, especially just being treated like cattle herded onto these planes.

And you know what?

Like, I flew from like New York to Austin today, you know?

Yeah, and it wasn't, it was like one of those planes that's like a greyhound bus with wings, you know?

Sure.

So I'm like, you know, even if you get like a first-class ticket, it's just like the same.

But I'm like, isn't that a long enough flight to get the pop-down

seats?

And like, where's the cutoff for that?

You see how long some of these planes have been in operation

because you fly first on one airline and you're like, oh, this is nice, right?

And then you get on the next one and there's no screen.

Yeah.

It doesn't lean back really.

And you're like, there's nothing.

And they're like, yeah, this thing's been here since like 91.

And you're like, that's a fuck.

It's time.

It's time, dude.

You got to take this one out of commission.

When I was in

New Zealand last year and I was flying back here, I remember they pulled my bag out of security and the guy, I had the spray deodorant.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And

the guy goes, can't have this.

And I go, I can't have the deodorant?

And he was like, no, it's too big and I go I flew with it here and he goes and where'd you fly from was it another country and I go yeah he goes this is another country and I go brilliant he goes what was that I go brilliant

oh and the other thing too the pat downs at TSA yeah a little much I think like I had one today with aggressive yeah aggressive and they're like oh you just got to check your stomach and I was like that was a little lower than my stomach was, you know, in front of everybody.

And the back of the hand.

Yeah, yeah, back of the hand.

Yeah.

Back of hands against my nuts.

Where I'm like, at least, I don't know.

To an audience of like 80 witnesses.

Yeah.

You know, yeah.

And they're like, what is that?

You're like, that's my fucking beanbag, dude.

Oh, what about this?

This is one I'm curious about.

You've had.

I mean, you guys have had huge A-list celebrities on your show.

It's pretty wild.

How about after-show DMs?

Have those gotten?

Oh, you know,

the DMs off the top of my head.

You know, I'm sure that there's been a bunch of them.

But like, as you know, I think when you go through the hot ones gauntlet, you kind of either become friends for life, like you and me, you know, or this person never wants to see me again.

You know, it's not either.

Yeah, like there's no, there's no middle ground.

But like one of my favorite moments is when we shot with Dave Grohl.

He brought in a bottle of Crown Royal and he made me go shot for shot as we went wing for wing, you know?

It was like this big bonding experience.

I remember after the shoot, we're out back in the alley.

I don't even smoke cigarettes.

I was just chain smoking with Dave Grohl, you know, because he's like, You want a cigarette?

And I'm like, Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

So we're just sitting back there chatting.

Gotting heroin, yeah, like let's party.

And then he goes, Uh, hey, I've got a premiere for my movie tomorrow.

Like, you got to stick around.

I was supposed to get on a plane and go back.

And I was like, I kind of got to stay.

So I called my team.

I'm like, is there any way that I can just stay in LA, go to Dave's thing?

You know, I'm trying to be best friends with Dave Grohl right now.

Yeah.

And they said yes?

Yeah, they said yes.

They made it work.

So I stayed, went to the premiere, and then afterwards, they had this like friends and family Foo Fighter show.

So I went and like saw Foo Fighters in kind of like an intimate club, which is like so cool.

Okay.

But in the middle of the show, Dave goes,

so last night, or he was like, so yesterday, I got to do one of my favorite shows of all time.

And at three o'clock this morning, I woke up and shit my fucking brains out.

So this next song is dedicated to Sean Evans.

He's in the audience.

It's like a movie, like spotlight on me while I'm just standing there in the audience.

And then he covered shame.

And then in the chorus, he'd be like, shame.

And they go, shame on you, Sean.

And by the end of the song, like, the whole crowd is going, shame on you, Sean, shame on you, Sean.

So, this is the best story ever.

I mean, that's like, it's out of a movie.

It feels like a movie.

Yeah, it was awesome.

So that's my favorite.

Have you had, because I remember there's,

there's, and I think this is probably a shared experience for a lot of people that go on hot ones.

You have this built-in anxiety, right?

When you're like, hey, so, you know, you have like a producer coming like, so like, what's this?

What are we, what are we doing here?

Yeah.

And they're like, you know, you've seen the show.

And you're like, yeah, but like,

they're escalating.

They're like, yeah, they'll get progressively hotter.

And you're like, how fucking hot is this going to be?

I'm like, it's pretty hot.

And then in your head, you're like, fuck, man.

Like, that's going to be uncomfortable, right?

Yeah.

And then you go, you're doing it.

And then you're like, oh, what's the later result of this going to be?

Like, how upset?

Am I going to fucking shit fire?

Am I going to have an emergency diarrhea?

Like, so have you had like immediate after taping things where someone's like either

notably sick or like they're, or they're vocally upset about, like, have you had people like really be like, what the fuck?

Yeah, like, I don't know if,

because by the end, shockingly, it's usually a very positive shoot experience.

Like, I would imagine that these things would go flying off the rails all the time, you know, like if you just look at it on paper, but honestly, like 95% of the time, it becomes like they're happy they did it when they're done, even if there's some turbulence while we're going through the thing.

And I'm trying to think if like anybody's had some sort of meltdown or episode afterwards, but at least while the cameras are rolling and while I'm on set, you know, it's kind of like, see you later.

Sometimes, like, where's the restroom?

You know, like, you know, we clear a path and like to the hallway, to the left, you know.

Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest-paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, no, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

No.

Charlie's sober.

He's going to tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

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But overall, like I haven't been like, the times that I've been cursed out are like mostly in jest.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I remember like for me,

I left there.

I was like, oh, and then I was like, oh, it's going to be, I think God, there's wet wipes back in the screen room.

And then I was like, oh, it wasn't that bad.

But then, of course, I was like, yeah, digestion takes a while.

Yeah.

So it's later.

And I do worry because, you know, like a lot of times people are on a press tour or something like that.

So they're doing a day of press in New York and then they're hopping on a plane.

And I do always,

you know, think about that person the next day being like, I hope they weren't in that window when that happened.

I wonder how their anus is doing today.

Yeah, I do think about that.

So you were raised in Chicago.

Have you heard people say it like that?

No, that's literally the first time I've ever heard somebody say that like that.

That's so funny to me because I used to, like, Christina used to be like, oh, you're going to Chicago?

And I'd be like, why are you saying that?

She's like, people say that.

I go, no one says that.

And then literally one of the times that, like a morning she did that, I went to LAX and I'm walking through the United Terminal and a lady is

on the mic and she goes, flat 2221 Chicago gate.

And I was like, holy shit, somebody is fucking dumb enough to say that.

So there are people out there out there that are saying that the wrong way.

But I do think I was just in Chicago last weekend.

Awesome.

It was fucking amazing.

And I always have a good time when I go.

And I gave them credit.

I go, you're incredible sports fans because

you have to deal with whatever you get.

And you keep dealing with it.

But you're a hardcore White Sox guy, right?

You're a Southsider.

Yeah.

So if you were chiseling out.

Mount Rushmore of White Sox Greats.

Yep.

Okay.

Who's making the cut?

And is there any universe where Mark Burl doesn't have a spot on there?

No, there's not.

So Mark Burley.

Is it Burley?

It's Burley.

These guys literally wrote a pronunciation.

They did.

They phonetically laid it out.

Yeah.

Okay.

Mark Burley

is definitely on there.

Huge apologies.

Is he dead?

Put him in the Hall of Fame.

No, he's alive and kicking.

Hey, Mark Burley.

I got it right this time.

Okay.

Mark Burley is definitely on there.

He's probably my favorite white sock of all time.

And then,

well, actually, maybe, no, Frank Thomas is my my favorite, but then Mark Burley, Frank Thomas, big hurt.

Frank Thomas with the fucking T-pills?

Yeah, dude.

He's my dog, yeah.

Dude, I love him.

He's like, I'd fucking take my dick's heart all day.

Yeah.

Yeah, so Frank Thomas, Mark Burley.

And then...

Frank Thomas is a guy I'd like to watch fuck someone.

Like, he's one of those guys where you're like,

the big hurt and the big liver.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The big hammer.

Fuck yeah.

You know that thing swings.

You ever know?

All right, we'll get back to your list.

Sorry.

No, please.

No, no, I just, I met some, I've told this before, but I've met some Major League Baseball players.

I had no idea.

They were like, oh, you know that throughout MLB on all teams, Dominicans shower separately?

Like, and I was like, and I was like, no.

And they're like, oh, yeah, because they're wild.

And they'll do shit like.

They're not gay, but they'll come up with a fish.

It's like a free culture.

They're like, they'll just slap their dicks against each other.

And then we're like, nah.

So it's like Dominicans, they do their own thing.

and then the rest of the guys

are like this.

I go, that feels like segregation.

They're like, well, it kind of is.

They're doing their fucking wild shit because they're so sexually free.

That's a, I had no idea.

Yeah, and I've had that's interesting.

I, the first guy told me, yeah, multiple people.

And then I pitched, I told the other guy, and they're like, oh, yeah, 100%.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

It's pretty interesting.

Yeah.

And then you go to the Dominican Republic and you're like, you know, I get it.

Yeah.

Checks out.

Yeah, yeah.

I have two more spots, right?

Yes.

I'm going to put you in Burley, Frank Thomas.

Frank Thomas.

I think I'm going to put Ozzie Guillen on there.

Okay.

And then I have one more spot, which can be kind of tough.

And you know what I'm going to give it to?

There's this blue-collar workman center fielder that I was obsessed with when I was in high school named Aaron Rowand.

It was maybe not like the biggest name, but he used to just crash into walls, you know, like

just over the shoulder, going into the wall full force.

But I always just loved the way that he played.

And and an honorable mention to Scott Posednik as well.

Wow, okay, there you have it, it's official, and hopefully, this will get built pretty soon.

Um, the way things are going, you know, it is crazy, right?

Because, well, first of all, if you have like you have the Bears, which is like it's it is crazy.

I'll roll, I'll roll bulls, you know, you'll roll White Sox season into Bears season, into Bulls season, yeah, and it just goes on and on and on and on and on.

And, like, it's it's interesting that, um,

you know, because I think with sports, that's always just going to be this like joy-misery slot machine that you're playing all of the time.

It is, it is, and only one team is going to win a championship.

So, I think the appetite and enthusiasm that you can build for a team is all about the ride that they take you on that season, right?

A thousand percent.

So, even if you're, you know, a couple games out of the wild card at the all-star break, like there's still something to follow, something to tune into.

And it's been so frustrating for like the last decade and a half.

Like all of these seasons are like dead on arrival before they even start.

And then there's no real sunlight for how they get out of it.

You know, like there's, I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to be looking towards.

It's so funny because I've, I tell this to people.

So, because you know, there's people who are like, I don't care about sports.

And then there's like kind of people who like casually watch some things.

I'm like, here's the thing about it.

If you're not emotionally invested to some degree, then you're not getting the thing out of it that is there.

Right.

It's like if you go, I don't care whether they win or lose, it's like, well, then you almost shouldn't just, you shouldn't watch, right?

Like the whole thing about being a sports fan, I mean, obviously, some people take this to an extreme and they're way too invested.

But the fun of getting behind a team is that you care enough to be miserable when they're down so that when they are great, the joy is so much greater.

That release.

You have to have the up and down.

And so, you know, a lot of these things are, like, I always watch college football and like, it's, it is cyclical.

Like, the, the, the teams will be great, and you're like, these guys are great.

And then they'll have this downtime, and then the team that wasn't doing so well, and it comes back.

But it feels like it usually belongs, it really does belong to like 10 to 12 teams.

Yeah.

That, you know, the other ones really can't compete because they can't bring in the recruits to that level.

In the pros, though, you're like, man, some of these windows where it's not good is like a lifetime.

It's like decades.

And too, I always think about it, I mean, at the end of the day, that's that business is a nostalgia.

That business is a nostalgia and memories business.

You know what I mean?

So it's just been so flat for so long that I wonder, I'm like, are they losing like an entire generation of sports fans there?

You know what I mean?

Like, I think about that sometimes.

Well, if you're a kid who was born, like, say, in Chicago, I don't know, 15, 20 years ago, you haven't experienced the highs, really.

Except for making

a couple moments.

If you're a Blackhawks fan, you've had some big time, but like, they don't know what the Bulls thing was like.

They've just heard about it.

They're like, oh, that's cool.

And you're like, no, you don't understand.

This shit was wild.

Like, it was a given.

Like, oh, they're going to dominate.

You know,

that's how I actually thought of them when I was a kid.

Like, the first time I ever saw adults behaving bizarrely was during those Eastern Conference playoff matchups between the Bulls and the Knicks.

Yeah.

No, that was the first time that I'd see my dad, you know, screaming swear words at the TV, you know, and I'm like, why is he freaking out?

They win all the time.

I'm like, they win all the time.

I thought it was like a Harlem Globetrotters thing, you know?

So I'm like, why are all the adults in the room like screaming at the TV and acting like something's at stake here?

Like they always win.

So even that, I didn't even really get

the bizarre behavior to watching an adult is when their sports team is doing well and then they're cocky.

You're like, yeah, it's not you.

Like you didn't do this.

But they're like, fuck you guys.

Like, this is my shit.

You're like, you have nothing to do with this.

But, like, they adopt the arrogance.

And they're like,

I would just like a chance to adopt that arrogance.

I have no idea what that's even like.

Feels like just on that whole cyclical thing that like the Bears would have to be due at some point.

I mean, I think we'll see what happens this year.

You know, they got their coach and,

you know,

I'm going to ride it out with Caleb and see what happens.

And the NFL is much more of a parody league, which is why it's kind of like bizarre that they haven't been able to crack that code or solve that Rubik's Cube, like at least a little bit recently.

There is a thing about the NFL too that like you just notice over time

and you go, how can this be?

But it is true.

There are organizations

that understand winning more.

Do you know what I mean?

I think that's true.

You're like, that's weird.

They all have like money.

And like they should, but like, you know, you look at like the Steelers and you're like, yeah, this organization understands going after winning yeah like they're doing it decade after decade right and then there are

these handful of like silly teams you know like the jets or like the bears or the jaguars or whatever you know what i mean where it's just like i'm from cincinnati dude yes yeah i understand that the that the that the president of operations pays himself 35 million a year for real mike brown's like that's my salary like okay

this is not about winning this is about you being like this is pretty cool this is a fucking he he runs it like it's a hotel and he's like, yeah, it's full.

Yeah, right, right, yeah.

They're not going anywhere.

I don't care.

I don't give a shit.

So for this next question, shit in your pants and then sit there and deal with it.

Now, just tell me if it affects your answer.

Yeah, yeah.

You've been known for asking hard-hitting questions, and now it's time for the real question.

Do you believe in Sasquatch?

Are you full of this is all nonsense or do you lean more?

I don't not believe when it comes to them.

And if we put you out in the Pacific Northwest with night vision goggles and a GoPro, do you think you'd make a compelling case one way or the other?

Great question.

I love this parody of me, by the way.

What are you talking about?

I was like, just fucking write some things down for me.

So I'm obsessed with the idea of Sasquatch.

I don't believe that like Bigfoot's actually walking around there, but I would love to go out and do one of those hunts.

You know, like that sounds fun.

There was this Sasquatch show that I used to watch all the time, you know, and it was just kind of a group of crazy guys who, as the show goes on and on and on, you see them becoming crazier and crazier and crazier over time.

And even like the sort of tensions between the group, it goes from this optimistic we're going to find Sasquatch today to where like you can actually kind of observe simmering resentments amongst the group there.

But I think I like the idea of it.

You know, I like the idea of a Loch Ness monster.

Yeah, dude.

As a kid, that was a really exciting one.

And I never, I never developed out of that thing of like thinking about it.

So do you love

UFO things and like alien landings?

Well,

I'm less compelled by that than like creatures walking amongst us.

So that's the lane you like the most?

Yeah, like a mythical beast amongst us.

Okay.

I have so many alien friends, you know?

Yeah, well, that's because that's the thing.

I just can't hang with them.

You know what I mean?

Because people are into aliens.

One of my super into aliens.

He's like, check this shit out.

And I'm like, what is it?

He's like, this is over in my fucking house last night.

And I'm like, I think those are birds.

He's like, that's not a bird.

He's just like, Look at him.

That's crazy.

You fucking shot that?

Um,

you're like, all right, dude, I don't know.

Are you?

Do you believe in the moon landing?

Yeah, uh, yeah, I'm gonna go with the moon.

I'm gonna believe in the moon.

There was a hesitation there.

Well, you know, anything's possible, but um, you think the earth is round?

Yeah, I believe the earth is round.

You think it rotates around the sun and everything?

Yeah, that all checks out to me.

Okay, will you guys, as this continues, please prep all, get all the Bryce stuff ready for us just so I can show him like all three.

I just want to show you that there's other sense.

Well, there's other voices out there.

A lot of people might not realize this, but

the Margaret Herrick Library is kind of like the holy grail for film nerds and a place where you can find original scripts, production notes, Hollywood history that feels too sacred to be touched.

You had the chance to do interviews there leading up to the Oscars.

What is the coolest, weirdest, or most unexpected thing you stumbled on?

And did you actually end up with like, whoa, like this is actually huge?

Yeah, well, they have tons of cool stuff.

So, yeah, I did a series of interviews over there.

The coolest thing that they have, or the coolest thing that I saw at least, they have Quentin Tarantino's handwritten pulp fiction script.

That is, because I've always, he's very famous for being like, you know, no, I don't type it up.

He's like, would you type up a poem or a song?

No, you write it by hand.

He writes all of his.

His

scripts are handwritten and then he gives it to somebody to type up.

I thumb through it.

It's in a three-ring binder just on notebook paper.

But some of the characters are film style?

Like is it script style?

Yeah, it looks like a script.

So it's like exterior.

Yeah, and even sort of even in the way that he's writing, it's like in the center of the page, like kind of like a script.

Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is it legible?

Yeah, you can, it was cool to see his handwriting.

And like, all the dialogue is almost like exactly the same, but it was interesting to see that some of the characters' names were different, you know, going through.

But that was the coolest thing that I saw.

But they have tons of cool stuff there.

It was kind of an amazing thing to just go through the archives.

Was it fun to see handwritten N-words, not from a friend?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Cool.

You're like, oh, wow.

Usually this is in a note from a buddy, but this is cool.

This is

Hollywood lore.

Yeah.

Yeah.

History, right?

Well, here's another one.

And another one.

And another one.

Almost every page.

And then another cool thing that I saw.

is they have, you know, just these pages of like casting notes, you know, so you can see like all these people that were auditioning for thing.

And then, like, sometimes there'll be like kind of mean notes next to it, like, not believable, you know, like you see all that.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Um, can anyone access this or no?

This is like, I don't know, maybe some of the things that I was in are like under it, but it's a library that's open and it's awesome.

I really wish I could just write interviews on it.

I want to ask your opinion on this.

This is like, I had mentioned this a couple days ago, and I was like, I want to know if this is me or if this feels genuine, like more true.

I feel like, like, the Oscars just recently happened.

Right.

I was like, you know, I just feel like it used to be more

of a cultural national event, almost like a Super Bowl of sorts.

And I'm like, am I sensing like something changing legitimately?

Or is it that like me personally,

am I just more

removed and less interested?

I get both parts of it because, you know, I always assume assume that any movie that I bought a ticket to and watched blew up at the box office.

And any movie that I didn't buy a ticket to and watched bombed at the box office.

You know, I think there is part of that.

Like, oh, the things that I engage with are all banging and awesome.

And the things that I'm not engaging with don't matter.

Yeah, like the Oscars, like, I was like, I don't know.

Yeah, so I think that that's part of it.

But I think just...

holistically, like when you look at entertainment in general, like if you just look at like the last couple years, the ways that movies have performed, you know, everything is just kind of becoming more fragmented.

Yeah.

When you just look at the whole thing, there's massive movies and then there's everything is like small.

There's not like the in-between really, it feels like, right?

Yeah, and too, I think, you know, like the things that go straight to streaming, you know, like there's always just these things that are coming at you all of the time.

So to have real cultural penetration anymore is just really hard.

I think like the Super Bowl is kind of the last thing that we share as a culture.

You know what I mean?

I think everything else has become sort of fragmented.

I wonder, I wonder what like Oscar viewership was like this year versus like

1995.

Yeah, right.

I wonder if it's dramatically different.

Would you look that up, like what they are those two years?

Because I do wonder, like, is it dramatically different where there's like, because the other thing is, like, you, like, I hear about, and it kind of, I guess it kind of makes sense, is that NBA viewership is way down.

Yeah, that, yeah, and that makes sense to me too.

But, like, when you think about it, there's also in times that we're living in where you can just catch the clips the next day.

You're like, oh, well, the cream will rise to the top, and anything that's worth talking about will reach me in some other form, whether it's like

something that I say.

Highlights, basically.

Yeah, the highlights are always delivered to you.

And I think that's the same with the same with sports.

I'm not wrong about that.

No, I'm not to a degree.

This thing says, How did the Oscars go from 43 million to 15 million viewers in just eight years?

Yeah, that's pretty significant.

Yeah, that is that's a that's a dramatic decrease.

Yeah, yeah.

So it's not.

No, I think that, although, I think that that's right.

I'm interested.

I'm reading kind of the things that they have.

Yeah, I just, it just, it's like this thing where you sense without like having looked up that number, you just feel like, I don't know, like almost like in, even though I work in entertainment, as you go, like, yeah, people aren't like, oh my God, the Oscars.

Yeah, but I think it's maybe just about movies.

You know what I mean?

Like there's not like

that kind of breakthrough in a way that there used to be in the 90s, you know, when.

And they used to nominate less people for each category, which I think makes it feel like harder to get in that conversation.

So it becomes more exclusive, in other words, right?

They're like, wasn't it like three nominees for like the big ones?

Right, right.

And now they're like, oh, there's 10.

Like, 10?

Like.

And two, I would like to see.

I mean, this is just like a dumb guy just talking out of his ass about like one of the most prestigious cultural institutions in all of entertainment.

But I do think that Best Picture is just going to naturally lean towards the dramas more and more.

Always.

So I would like to see in some way

excellence awarded in the action category or like maybe there is some ways that

we can throw a little red meat out there with these sorts of things in a way that doesn't totally tank the prestige of the event.

Or, you know, I grew up as a comedy lover, you know, and there are so few theatrical comedies that are released and made.

But they also never celebrated the

really good ones.

Like, to me, Kingpin is like a best picture nominee.

You know what I mean?

It's just,

but the things that we saw

Jim Carrey and like Eddie Murphy, Bill Murray

in comedies, like in just straight comedies, you go that the movie doesn't exist without that person in it.

Right.

It just wouldn't work.

Right.

So, yeah.

So, I think maybe that, but, you know, who knows?

Yeah.

All right.

So, we have these things to show you.

So, Bryce Mitchell, UFC fighter,

comes on the scene.

You have these going through the speaker

for us?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

So, this is like his episode one of his podcast.

Coming out hot.

Comes out hot.

Hitler, hell and the Nazis.

I really don't think that he was because I honestly think that Hitler was a good guy based upon my own research, not my public education, indoctrination.

I really

fishing with.

He fought for his country.

He wanted to purify it by kicking the greedy Jews out that were destroying his country and turning them all into gays.

Turning it all into gays.

Gaying out the kids.

They were queering out the women.

They were queering out the dudes.

still.

You know what her first tranny surgery ever was?

Happened to be in Germany before Hitler took over.

You know the books that everybody makes fun of Hitler burning.

You know what the books was?

Queer books.

Okay, so he has.

Hitler burned queer books.

He gets all the notes, right?

He's like, and this is my show.

This is episode one.

People go absolutely insane.

Rightfully, Dana White.

Because he's a UFC fighter, was like, this guy's a fucking moron.

Right.

He comes out and he's like, he's the dumbest person we've ever had the pleasure of hiring yeah yeah yeah and he's like hopefully people will just watch him fight to get someone see someone beat this shit

yeah and then you're like i guess this guy's not gonna make content anymore yeah did he make an episode two

well he's he's started putting out um

other other opinions which is why i brought up uh the fact that he has you know

other things to say And everybody is just totally talking shit about me because of how stupid I am.

Let me explain myself a little bit better because this is what I meant by what I said.

And I think nobody's going to disagree once I explain it.

I stated that you can prove the earth don't rotate because you can take a helicopter, hover it 20,000 feet for 24 hours and come back down in the same spot.

Now, everybody said, oh, a helicopter has inertia.

I know what inertia is, dude.

I'm not stupid.

Let me tell you what I mean.

Here is a picture of the circle of the earth, supposedly, if you believe in a globe and the red circle is the helicopter

when the helicopter ascends above the earth's surface it now has a larger flight path around the earth as in when the earth the inside circle the black circle does one full rotation

the red circle or the flight of the helicopter actually has to cover more distance but what i like is that when some you that you see somebody who has multiple cool opinions you know i mean so like the that you're like who the fuck is like i'd like to go fishing with hitler it's the same guy who's like hey man if you take a chopper up in the air you know look at this it's not gonna land in the same spot or it is and that means that the earth don't spin you're like i got it and then he also goes into i don't know he's he's also not what's your issue with seatbelts

uh seat belts i think it's just like a like you get to choose if you want to wear a seatbelt the government doesn't you know they don't wipe my ass for me and they don't they shouldn't be able to tell me if i want to wear a seatbelt.

I personally don't like them because I think, uh, what if you got to jump out of the car and roll, you know, duck and roll?

And nobody ever thinks that's the best point so far.

So I don't personally wear a seatbelt, but I grew up, my mom never wore one.

Yeah, um, I just don't want to say that.

It's not

up to the government to decide if I'm crazy about not wearing a seatbelt is the goddamn ding and like the ding ding.

Yeah, like the fucking car tells you, put that motherfucker.

So, like, I have been like driven by like a car service

with some psycho fucking, you know, dude who's just up there and you're like, ding, and you're like, hey, man, are you going to, can we just stop the ding?

And you see the guy, like, fuck, I got to put it.

So it means that guy drives around all day with it ding.

Like when the battery goes.

Yeah, like that doesn't bother you.

Yeah, that doesn't drive you completely insane.

Some guy drove us on the road a few weeks ago and we were all looking around like, is this really happening?

Where he had, you know, when you have the radio on and you don't find find a station and it's just static?

Yeah, yeah.

Just that.

Just drive.

We were like, don't say anything.

And we were just like, is he deaf?

I was like, hey, man, he's like, yeah.

I'm like, no, you can hear.

And then we just kept driving,

the whole time, like white noise.

I was like, this is what you cruise around with?

Just static in your ear all day?

And he's just like, yeah, I'm fine.

This is good.

Soothes me to drive.

And this guy.

Wherever he goes, ding, ding,

every 20 seconds.

And then he's just sitting there like, wish I was fishing with Hitler right now.

Just fucking.

He's kind of a performance artist, though.

You know, like, this could almost be like a performance art.

It is a good lane for like WWE.

Like his heel.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

If he was like trying to be like, make me the villain, I'll just, I'll open up with Hitler would be cool to hang with.

Like, and they're like, all right, like, everyone's going to know your name.

Right, right.

And then he's going to double and triple down after that.

But he's got, he's got lots of thoughts.

So many thoughts.

The funny thing is, I love when somebody actually has opinions, and then he, in his mind, he has great supporting arguments.

Right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's actually kind of

my favorite part.

You've done your own research.

Yeah, yeah.

You know?

And you're like, that's how I came to this.

You're like, yeah, no, that's fucking good, man.

And I like even too is like,

this is what I meant to say, but I'll be like, you don't need to clarify.

Like, I can tell you me, you know, you meant that.

Yeah, yeah.

It's, that wasn't, it wasn't an accident.

There was no, yeah.

The best part of all that, though, is that other dude who's like,

he frowned face.

He's like, this is episode one, dude.

Frozen.

Like, you said this was going to be fun when you got me to do this with you.

Like, you just dragged me into some shit that I don't want to be a part of now.

Like, I'm going to get so many fucking calls after this.

Listen,

that's the plight of co-hosting on a podcast, you know?

Oh, my God.

No, what about a Chicago pizza question?

Sure.

Chicago's known for deep dish.

It's like the Chicago-style pizza, yet you live most of the time in New York, which is known for a completely different style of pizza.

Are you going to be a diplomat or are you going to choose a side?

No, here's what I'll say.

Pizza is amazing in any form.

I love Detroit-style pizza.

I love a pub pizza.

I love the classic New York slice.

It's always good.

But I will say this, you know, like sometimes people make fun of deep dish pizza or call it a tourist thing or think it's, you know, people have strong opinions on deep dish pizza.

But being away from Chicago, I crave it.

Every time I go back, I always have to eat it because nobody else really does it.

So I have to get, you know, like a Lumel Nadis with sausage and green pepper.

Like, I really do love.

deep dish pizza and miss it quite a bit.

So I don't know this landscape, but like, is any place that serves pizza in Chicago kind of required to do deep dish?

Like, do they all do it?

No, no, there's a just like a handful of

places that do it and all have different origin stories and claim that they invented it.

It's like cheesesteak thing.

It's a cheesesteak thing through and through.

But I do miss deep dish pizza and I'll always defend it.

Like, I could actually just really go for a slice right now, actually.

Yeah, I wish we had pizza right now, too.

That would be awesome.

Pepperoni?

I like a sausage green pepper.

Oh, sausage green pepper.

Sausage green pepper.

Fuck yeah.

You went to broadcast journalism school that track.

Yep.

And a professor suggested you should be a weatherman.

Do you ever imagine, here's the thing, hearing that, I go, oh, he would have been great at that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I appreciate it.

Well, you're a good presenter.

And I think you would have been, you know, information, little wink and a smile.

Yeah, yeah.

Right.

And they always have like little quips or jokes.

You would have developed your sense of that.

And then there'd probably be like a, like an IG fan page of like, what's Sean's bomber jacket like today or whatever, right?

For the weather guy or like, I want to fuck the weather guy or something like that.

You would have, you would have had some like super fan, some moms at home who are like, honey, get out the door.

I want about to watch the weather.

And I think being like a regional celebrity in like a smaller market would be awesome.

Awesome.

Awesome.

Yeah.

So, but no, I always, thanks for saying all of that.

Yeah, I think, you know, weather is challenging.

We always, in the final broadcast journalism class, it was one of those things where students would just rotate.

So you'd be the anchor one day, you'd be the sports guy the next week, then you'd direct, then you'd be on camera, then you'd do weather, all of these different things.

And people used to fold with weather because you have no teleprompter, you're off-green screen, you're going through the clicker, and then everything's opposite your instincts.

You know, like you feel like you're reaching this way, and then you look at the monitor and it's the other way.

It takes a lot to figure out, and then you have no safety net.

But I did kind of enjoy that space, but a lot of people would fold under that, you know.

Do you actually know a lot about weather though, too?

No, I know.

And I'm at, you know, and I'm not even like really that, i was never that great a science student either so it was going to be a it was going to be an uphill battle in order to get there you liked the presentation aspect i like the presentation aspect of it and you just have to think about when you're a broadcast journalism major there's a part of you that maybe thinks that you can be on tv but it's not like majoring in accounting where it's like you graduate you interview at the top four then you get a job but you know it's not a normal career that way there's no natural footing so i was like well that's a way in you know what i mean so that was a thought that i had for a little bit um but thankfully, I didn't pursue it too hard.

But maybe I should, you know, like I'm just thinking about being like a regional celeb in a mid or small market, you know,

be sick.

So, so sick.

Um, because all the I lived in LA 20 years, and that's not like a small market, but all the local news people are like beloved, they're beloved there.

Exactly.

Remember Dallas Reigns?

What's that fucking guy's name?

Dallas Reigns.

That's made for a local news.

Look at that smile, bro.

Oh, that is.

And they always have like a lot of them, you know,

like appearance is obviously a big thing.

He's also in the LA market, but it's like, you know, the hair, the veneers, the tan.

I mean, that's.

I know, it's a bygone era.

You know, he's kind of like

the last of a dying breed, but that's important.

That's an important subculture of broadcasting.

It's so wild.

I think that's him like 40 years ago in the

headshot?

Yeah.

The signed one.

I think that's him, incredible, probably came out to try to be an actor

always, yeah.

Same with porn, like they everybody goes, like, I'm here to act, and then someone's like, Hey, what do you think of $300

to show your asshole?

And they're like, Okay,

they're like, I kind of fell into this, you're like, Yeah,

I know.

I've watched that fucking that porn dock on Netflix, and they have this fucking, it's it's so fucked up, but they're like, Hey, uh,

if uh,

they're like,

what are you getting paid today?

And this girl's like, I don't know.

Like, it was like $500.

And then the guy's like, and then she goes, but they offered me another $100

for

a cream pie, like to finish inside of me.

But then she goes,

I got to buy the Plan B pill, which is, which is $40.

It was $40 at the time.

And she goes, but that's $60 in my pocket.

I'm like, yeah, that's not

a lot

to say, come inside of me.

To be like, yeah, but you got 60 more dollars.

60 bucks is 60 bucks.

But for sure, local weather is like a byproduct of failed auditions.

A rough pilot season.

I think anything you end up doing with a camera anywhere is like, I was trying to act.

Right?

Like, anything.

Like, everybody was like, I was trying to act.

And then I ended up doing this.

I was doing this weather.

Yeah.

No, I'm just telling you, it's fucking breezy today.

Yeah.

But I do think it's kind of cool.

The weather track is kind of cool.

And too, yeah, like Letterman started it as a weatherman, too.

Did he really?

I forget that.

I also loved this as like a...

I mean, not that it doesn't exist anymore.

Is that him?

Yeah, look at that.

And

I think he got fired.

This is maybe lore lost in time because

he congratulated a tropical storm on being upgraded to a hurricane.

You know, it's like a very Letterman joke, you know?

Funny.

That is so funny.

We're under a flash flood warning, but all of that seems of little importance once you take a look at the cloud cover photograph made earlier of the United States today.

And I think you'll see that once again, we've fallen to the prey of political, dirty dealings.

And right now, you can see what I'm talking about.

The higher-ups have removed the border between Indiana and Ohio, making it one giant state.

Personally, I'm against it.

And they're like, yeah, yeah.

I don't know what to do about it.

I mean, that's awesome.

That's so awesome.

Yeah.

And there's also

that is, to me, speaks to also the audience at home where there's people dying laughing at that.

Right.

And then there's people being like, the fuck's this guy doing?

Like, they're totally confused.

I'm like, why is he talking about a border?

Like, did they really?

Like, questioning that it's real, you know?

That's for sure happening.

And even his writing is just kind of in that style, you know, and his irreverence, you know, towards being a weather.

You know, he's probably bitter about doing the weather, you know, and then that's coming out in his presentation, you know?

He's the best.

He is the best, dude.

That's so fucking funny.

I also miss, I, I have, I guess it's a nostalgia thing, what the national news guys were when I was growing up.

Like, it was Peter Jennings, Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw.

And, like, I really.

Miss those guys?

I loved those guys.

I loved, like, their, their presentation of

really prompter, just the, was, like, comforting to me.

Classic newsman.

Classic newsman.

I liked it.

We still have, I guess,

a little bit, yeah, but not like that.

Not like that.

There's also, it's like, is there something to be said about just old white guys making you feel like everything's okay?

You know,

they don't hire them anymore.

Poor guys.

And the news isn't a let you know everything's okay kind of business anymore either.

It's totally people don't understand that.

Like, you want a rogue?

You want anything?

Sure, yeah, yeah.

That I've mentioned it that, like, I remember the

transition

from news is just something that's read, where they're like, here's what's happening in Somalia today.

And you're like, okay.

To

it was what I remember specifically is CNN.

The first time I was like, I remember going through it.

And it was Anderson Cooper, but he's like ageless or something.

So it might have been 50 years ago.

But it was like, it was Anderson Cooper.

And then he like, he

said something that was happening and he was like,

he like commented on it and I was like, what the fuck?

Like, that's so weird.

And he was like, yeah, it's not so.

I personally think that's a bad.

I'm like, why is he fucking doing this?

But then you realize that he was doing it because the cult, like, he wasn't like the only one doing it, but it was slowly happening.

Like, Fox was started to do it where it was like characters.

And like,

oh, this is the person who's going to say what I...

want them to say.

Right.

And then that'll make me feel good because they're sharing the opinion.

But those guys were just like, here's the thing.

Yeah, yeah.

But that's, I think, like when, you know, sort of like the classically trained school versus,

you know, in a lot of ways, entertainment is just what we want reflected back at us.

You know what I mean?

And then at some point, yeah, like somebody was like rolling through and being like, oh, this is, you know, what holds our audience, you know, like this is the watch time.

They're just like looking at the

and then just cranking the other side.

And what happened too was that when Fox did it, they were doing it first where they were like they're gonna look this way they're gonna they're gonna take this angle and their numbers went through the roof right and so everybody else was like uh

like we gotta do the opposite like do something to to get the other people because they're killing us do you think

This is maybe a fun thought exercise, but as the market swings, the pendulum swings in the other direction, do you think there's a market opportunity for a classic newsman to like take over in these times?

Or is that just dead?

I think, I don't know, I keep saying this about things that like everything seems cyclical, but it feels like

you know, it feels like in my lifetime, nothing's ever been more split where people are just so adamantly against the others.

And like, what they need is someone to go, like, hey,

how about I'll just tell you

what's a steady hand?

I'll just tell you what's happening.

And they're like, Yeah, fucking tell me what's happening.

And like, that person, it, it feels like there would be a market for them.

Yeah, that's, I'm just looking at the white space in the market there, you know?

There's like wondering, but then like, I go, oh, I thought that already, wasn't like PBS doing that?

And then, I don't know, when I said that last time, somebody was like, no, fucking PBS is not doing that.

And I was like, oh, okay, sorry.

Like, you can't, you know, everybody gets upset about, it's so funny because if you say something that like,

certain groups agree with, immediately you're bombarded with like, you fucking get it, smart guy.

You're like, oh, okay.

And then the second you say the thing that they don't, it's just vitriol, like, it's just so much hatred of, like, fucking idiot.

And you're like, okay.

So, I mean, I guess that shows you just can't look for validation in comments.

No, that's a bad idea.

It's a bad idea in general.

But it is like, it's still, I feel like the split could not be wider and stronger.

And just, yeah, always growing more intense.

Right?

And it,

I don't know if it's like an old guy thing, but it doesn't, to my memory, I don't feel like it was like that.

No, I mean, maybe this is just me being an old guy, but sometimes you just feel like the 90s was like the last vestige of that, and then it just started to

tip.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's all because of

9-11.

I don't know.

It's from.

I don't know.

That was a bad day.

It didn't really.

Happen.

It was a controlled demolition.

I don't know.

Somebody's real happy I said that, though.

They're like, fucking, he finally.

Finally, he said it.

Yeah, he gets it.

He gets it.

Oh, really?

Do buildings just fall like that?

Really?

It's George Bush and his friends.

They went in there the night before and they set dynamite inside and just fucking fell.

Look at the signs are there all along.

They were always there.

The planes are just a little thing on the side just to get you distracted.

Anyway,

we're going to make the news on this one.

We'll hit a lot of cool topics.

Fingers crossed.

That's really gonna help.

It's gonna help sauce sales for sure.

And they're like, what the fuck?

Yeah, thanks, Tommy.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, it was a pleasure, dog.

Hey, look,

in your defense, you didn't do anything wrong.

It was all our side.

Yeah, I was just like, I was just the guy with the frowning face on the other side of the table.

But I've heard from other people before, you have to say something in the moment.

Otherwise, people get mad at you.

for not having.

So this might be a good sound bite for you to be like, I just want to say some of the things you've shown me or said like you know i mean yeah like i'll get it sanctimonious in a sanctimonious way well yeah just so that like people go but because the big criticism will be that like things were played for you and things were said and you didn't speak up in the moment

you should have spoken up in the moment Just live and learn, you know?

I was just going with the flow here.

Yeah, that's not a thing to go.

I was just trusting you, Tom, and maybe that was my problem.

I should never have trusted you, Tom.

But I should know better at this point.

That is actually a really good sound bite: is that don't trust Tom.

Don't trust Tom.

I love that

I did your show and that I've gotten to be friends with you.

I couldn't be happier for your success.

Thank you, Doctor.

I do think you are, I've said it before, I think you are the best interviewer on the planet doing this today.

You really are the Charlie Rose without peeing on some or whatever he did.

And I really do think you're the best.

I think you're the best.

I'm happy for you.

I know you're extremely wealthy now and I expect incredible holiday gifts when that season comes.

I would also like to visit your estate when you're done.

You're invited.

Always, always.

Open door policy for you and Christina.

Where would you reside if you were picking your like, this is where I want?

Would it be big?

Would you stay?

I think about it sometimes.

Would you want out of the big city in a more peaceful setting?

Well, there's,

you know, I'm a city rat by nature, I think, you know, and we'll be for the foreseeable future.

And eventually, someday I'd like to get back in Chicago, to Chicago.

I'd like to die in Chicago.

Yeah.

Like, I don't want to die in New York.

I don't want to die in L.A.

Like, I'd rather die in Chicago.

I'd like to die in Chicago.

So I want to get back there eventually.

But sometimes when I do just let the daydream go, you know, I was like...

That's such a good, by the way, way to summarize it.

Where do you want to die?

I never hear people say, where would you like to die?

That's how I think about it because I have no exit strategy at the moment.

And I have fallen in love with New York.

When I first moved to New York, I treated it like prison.

I was like, I'm doing two summers and I'm doing two winters, I'm getting the fuck out of here.

But how long has it been now?

Like 14 years, I think.

Wow,

13 years, I don't know, something like that.

Uh, lived there longer than I have lived anywhere else, and now I'm in love with it.

And it's hard to adjust when you go to another city after you're like used to the pace and style and everything of New York.

So, I love New York, I have no immediate plans to leave.

Spend a ton of time in LA.

Um, but you know, uh, obviously, because of unfortunate events, um,

the landscape there, you know, like

my dream was always like

sometimes I'll stay at this place called the Malibu Beach Inn, um, over there, like yeah, yeah, like by that Nobu over there.

This place is red, it's so great, it's so great.

I love that place, and it's kind of um,

just like a just a chill zen, like sanctuary for me.

If I'm working, I've got like this weekend off, like, I'd book there, and I would take these long walks up north, and you just see those like crazy estates that are on the beach there and when I'd look at those I'd be like I was I'd be like that would be so sick you know to just like they have the beach and that beach access but then they'll also have these sick pools and you know like those houses are so sick and then you're just by that Zen ocean water and you can just fall asleep with the windows cracked and just something different

something different about it and it's so calming to me that I was like, you know, if things work out in just the right way, this would be amazing.

All right.

So I thought about it a little bit.

So you can now take your newfound extraordinary wealth and buy a house in Malibu.

All right.

So you know where to go.

Buy the dip.

Buy the dip.

Yeah.

Fucking, dude, Malibu is, even with all of its chaos, like you get used to hearing about, you know, obviously fires is a big thing.

Yeah, right.

Mudslides and everything.

It's, it's still, there's like, there's

the best.

It's the best.

Malibu's the best.

Malibu Beach Inn.

You got a free plug.

There you go.

Give us a couple free nights.

um Soho Beach House what is that called yeah a little yeah they have that club over there clubs over there Nobu's there all you need they used to have this like fried chicken joint across the street from Nobu and I always thought that would be like fun to

because that's a great name Malibu fried chicken I was like

What's better than fried chicken, too?

It's the best.

Do Nobu on Nobu on Saturday, fried chicken on Sunday.

Hey, can we get some fried chicken tonight?

Let's go.

Hello?

Let's do fried chicken, dude.

Fried chicken is the shit.

It's so good for you, and it's so good to eat.

What do you watch?

That's the other thing I want to know.

Because you have a good taste.

What are you watching?

Are you watching any shows or movies right now?

Yeah, I'm watching.

Well, I watched every Oscar nominee, every edition.

You did watch everyone?

Yeah, because I was doing all these interviews.

So I watched every single one.

What was your

love one the most?

Yeah, I mean, Enora was probably my favorite film of the year, and it cleaned up.

But I also really loved the substance, and I love Corley.

I was kind of rooting for her for director, and I was rooting for Demi and Best Actress.

You know, like when I was at the event and just thinking about

so I did love those movies a lot.

I'm happy that The White Lotus is back.

That's one of my favorite shows.

I love that show.

Severance banging right now.

Love that show.

Never seen it.

Everybody, it's one of those things.

That's all right.

If you're not on the, if you're not, you don't need to jump on, you know?

No, I feel like I have, I'm such an idiot.

I always, whatever's like the hottest show, if I didn't already start it, I always go.

I'll get that.

I go, I'll watch it later.

I was late as Game of Thrones is already done before I even started it.

I started it fucking 2023.

Hell yeah.

You and me both, dog.

I watched the season and a half, though.

I get too distracted.

I think it's, I have a little lot of characters.

Yeah, yeah.

My favorite was that Breaking Bad was like a cultural phenomenon, and I kept being like, oh, fuck off, you know?

And then

watch it.

You're like, this is the best show ever.

Well, here's the thing.

I started the show as the last season was beginning to air, whatever year.

That was like 2015 or something.

So I started, I watched this show.

So I got to watch the entire series in like two weeks of like, this is the fucking best thing I've ever seen.

So I always remind myself that, what was it, 13?

So it was 13.

It was even earlier.

It was, yeah, that ride of being able to go through it without having to

be best.

Yeah, it was incredible.

But I do keep hearing that Severance is amazing.

It is.

It's really good.

It is, yeah.

Shout out to Adam Scott.

Shout out to Ben Stiller.

Okay.

Well,

guys, make a note that in 2029, I will watch Severance.

Please, don't let me forget.

Thank you, Sean.

You're the best.

Thank you for doing this.

I'm sorry if I did something that will affect your brand.

in some way.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Yes.

I'll go down with you.

You have lots of studio space here.

You know, I could always pop up a show here.

Anytime.

Okay, deal.

Yeah.

We will make, you know what?

We'll get rid of people for you.

I would love to tell somebody that they lost their job today because you're here.

And I'd love to break the news with you.

Oh, dude.

Also, that would be the best IG Real TikTok video ever of, like, hey, sit down

and actually stand up because you got to get the fuck out of here.

Sean's here now.

All right.

That's it.

Thanks, guys.

We'll see you next time.

Bert and Tom, Tom and Bert.