Bob Dylan Sucks | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

1h 10m
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In this wet and mild episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back together to catch up on everything that's been going on since the last time they were face to face. They debate who the strongest comedian is, Bert claims it's himself, Tom suggests Godfrey or Carrot Top. Who do you think it is? The bears also talk about how cities kind of blow, Bob Dylan sorta sucks, Mussolini inventing fascism, Bert's big summer plans, Chrissy D performing at MSG on 9/11, plus some Oscars thoughts, some opinions on refrigerated food, and the different flavors of Spanish around the world. Enjoy the show!

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 279

https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com

Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:12 - Strongest Comedian Living
00:09:16 - Medical Emergency In Show
00:17:43 - Georgia's Trip To Spain
00:22:45 - Bert's IG Feed
00:26:28 - Horrible IG Feed
00:31:31 - Mussolini Deep Dive
00:35:42 - Mean Girls
00:39:53 - Fridge Food
00:41:33 - Coffee Drinks
00:46:27 - Top Dog Coffee
00:53:10 - Spanish Accents
00:59:10 - Emilia Perez
01:02:00 - The Oscars Are Over
01:06:24 - Bob Dylan
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Transcript

100%

excuse me.

Welcome to another episode of Two Bears, One Cave.

I'm here with my buddy Bertrand.

The strongest comedian living.

The strongest living comedian.

Am I the strongest comedian?

Am I the strongest comedian?

I don't know.

That's a good question.

Top five, top ten?

I think you're probably top ten.

Well, he's easy.

No, wait.

You mean like known comedian?

Because there's a lot.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm sure there's dudes that are

probably unknown that are powerlifters that are just getting into it.

Juice heads and fucking, yeah.

Oh, Carrot Top.

Carrot Top.

You think he's up there?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I bet Godfrey Godfrey's probably strong.

Godfrey's probably strong.

I don't know, but 325.

I mean, let's talk about it.

Okay, you brought it up.

Yeah, yeah.

Google how many people in the world can bench 325 pounds.

Let's see.

That's a

20 centimeters and an inch.

Wow, less than 10%.

Less than 10%.

Only a small percentage.

Less than 10% can bench 310%.

Yeah.

That's so funny.

That's not what I got

when I Googled it.

It was like 0.01% of the world.

I think that's 105%.

10% of the world can bench 325 pounds.

That's a lot of strong motherfuckers.

Well, it is saying less than 10, which is pretty broad.

Less than 10%.

I think it's 0.01.

I know that if you do 400 pounds bench.

Oh, that's.

So

I got one

read out that said.

There you go.

Of dedicated weightlifters.

That's not of the population.

Of dedicated weightlifters can do 400 pounds.

Do you think there's people in the population that can bench 400 pounds that don't lift weights?

There's a couple freak shows for sure, like genetic anomalies, you know, like farmers' sons who are just out there hauling hay every day that are like freak shows.

Yeah, but most of the time, this is like somebody really dedicated to doing that.

Yeah.

So walk me through how you felt when you saw the video of me benching 325 pounds.

Well, I was proud of you.

I didn't,

I didn't,

it went through a phase where like at first,

you know, you were like, I don't know if I can.

I'm doing, this is when you had the first date, which was like, I think New Year's Day.

Yeah.

And you were like, I've gotten, I forget, 290 or something.

And you were going to do 305 or 315?

Yeah.

I did three.

I did, right before New Year's, I did 305 twice.

And then I did 3015, but it was like touch and go.

Well,

I thought before that, when you were like, I've gotten 290 or something.

I was like, yeah, it's, you know, you might, you might not.

It was like kind of up in the air.

Once you told me you were moving it but upping the weight i actually thought you were crazy for a second because you're like i got this but now i'm i'm moving the date and i'm raising the the weight i was like that's pretty crazy because if you're not there you're making it much harder yeah then when you told me you had done a couple reps of 305 i was pretty i was pretty certain you were going to get it

It's interesting how you can do the math about that, but even still, Arnold kind of fucked me up and he was like, he's like, he's like, it's crazy.

Sometimes

you get 350 pounds, and then they put on two and a half, and you can't get it off your chest.

It's mental.

It's fucking mental.

And then do you think that's true?

I also think there's days, like, I tell you, my dad used to track all his lifts

in a journal, right?

And he was doing Olympic lifting, but he said he also would write down like how he, how he was going into that day.

So, like, I was super tired or energized, thinking there'd be a correlation between like, I feel like shit and bad lifts, or I feel great and good lifts.

And he was like, They never lined up.

Really?

I could go in there, feel like I didn't sleep well, whatever, and have a great lift, and then I would have great feeling days and have bad lifts.

Did you do you feel like that was stand-up sometimes?

Oh, that's interesting, yeah, kind of.

I know, especially, you know, the first time you tour on a big scale, like for me, that would have been,

I don't know, probably like 2016 or 17.

So I'm like going into theaters and

you would clock like, oh,

I'm in, I'm just making it up, but like, I'm in Madison.

The show was great.

And then you go, so Madison only has great shows.

Like, that's the, your brain registers it.

And you go to Indy, the show sucked.

You're like, so Indy sucks.

Then you come through the next time and you're like, so Madison will be great.

And it's not great.

And you're like, what the fuck?

And then

Indy is great.

And you're like, oh, this is totally an inverse of what I thought.

And then the more you tour, you realize that every night it can go any which way.

There are certain indicators, like I feel like small indicators.

They're not 100%.

But for me, I always check out before when the show is about to begin, I get on the VOG for the Voice of God mic

for the comic that it's going to go on stage for it.

And when that thing goes on, Like the lights have been turned off

if the lights turn off and they're just like silent, you're like, what the fuck?

And

then you go, they just get quiet like they're about to see a play.

Yeah.

And then you go, like, hey, you know, fucking Memphis, how are you guys feeling tonight?

And it's just like a smattering of applause.

You're like, are there people out there?

Yeah.

And it's just like, it's one of those things where you go, oh, that feels like that might inform what this next hour and a half is going to be like.

You know, conversely, like when you hear lights go off and they go,

and you're like, how you guys doing?

And they go, you're like, oh shit, we got a live one here.

I would say it's pretty, like, it pretty much informs how that night's going to go to a degree, but it's just not 100%.

You can sometimes still have it go, oh, I thought it was going to be shitty because of that, and it was good, or I thought they were going to be great, and it was kind of, you know, flatter.

But I do feel like paying attention to how they react to like the first time they're hearing, you know, oh, the show is starting, it's a big indicator.

I mean, I don't know if you had it on your last, I also had, I was thinking about it this week, shows that I was like,

Man, I don't understand how that was such a bad show.

No,

like,

I guess you don't go, I don't understand how it was so good on other, because sometimes it's so good, and you go, well, that's the best.

Yeah, it's so good that you go, that was the best, but it's also just the roll of the dice.

It's better if I don't care about the show

yeah put let's say you have to care but you can't be like

high pressure on it right well i get nervous i get nervous at red rocks i get nervous at the greek anything big la

yeah uh no no no not like the gorge i wasn't nervous but like red rocks is a big one for me like i'm really i'm doing i'm doing i don't we haven't announced it but i'm doing red rocks again this year uh i get nervous at the greek i get nervous

i don't know i think because i invest i put a lot into it like the greek really made me nervous.

Red Rocks always, always made me nervous.

But that's why I like doing Red Rocks.

Because it makes me nervous.

Because I don't always get nervous like that.

Like, are you going to get nervous doing Madison Square Garden?

Maybe a little bit more.

It's like a tentpole.

Huh?

That's like a tentpole.

I think only because it's not that it's MSG for me.

It's that in New York, I never feel like

the like New York and LA crowds to me are a little more kind of judgy and a little like I'm I'm not impressed just so you know like is how they kind of feel and so that's the part that kind of makes me like oh are they gonna be

is it's it's not that like oh I'm in this space even though I have great admiration for MSG it's just that like I go what kind of like what kind of crowds showing up you know because I've had New York shows where you're like what the fuck was that and then Chris Chris DeStefano is doing Madison Square Garden on 9-11.

Yeah.

He came with me last weekend.

He came with me.

I just saw that.

That's what made me think about this.

I just saw him with you in Chicago.

He got such a pop when he went up there.

Really?

I told him, I was like, hey, you might have to calm yourself down.

He was like, really?

I go, well, yeah, because you're a surprise guest.

And this audience knows you.

So when they hear you get announced and you pop up, I go,

they're going to go crazy.

And they did.

They went nuts.

Yeah.

It was awesome to watch.

And he was, he had a great set.

It was so fun.

But

it was fucking lit there, dude.

It was like, we're about just a hair under 17,000 people.

And they were like, I mean, it's Chicago.

Like, they were energetic.

And like, he,

yeah, he had a great set.

I had the most fun doing that show.

And I'm having a seizure in that show.

Someone had a seizure?

Yeah.

Someone had a seizure at my lucky taping.

Oh, really?

During the taping, someone had a fucking seizure.

And I was like, great, we won't use this fucking.

I'm like working the round, so I'm like working it, you know?

Like, you kind of, you don't just stay planted, which is like the different thing is you're like, you're here, and then you walk over here, and then you walk.

So at first, I just see

some people

standing in this area, but you also see people trying to get to their seats.

And you can't like acknowledge everything, right?

Yeah.

So I make another loop on my second loop around.

I go, what's going on?

And and they're like she's having a seizure and i go oh jesus i go uh hey do you want the lights on because that's more important turn the lights on and off real quick just everyone click click click click click click click i go you want to light her up because uh that's more important than what i'm doing

and and then the guy goes now we're good and i go okay

and then i just see like medical personnel i'm like i think i should just hold a beat while you guys do this it's kind of weird to keep going and then they like they put her in a stretcher and they like wheeled her out.

And then I saw the people around her sit down and I go, hey, do you want to leave with her?

Because like that's kind of, and they're like, oh, we're not with her.

And I was like, oh, okay.

Well,

I hope she lives.

And then everyone was like, oh, I'm like, well, I mean, what do you mean to say?

Like, I don't,

we did a Hail Mary as an arena for her.

And then I realized.

Oh, the prayer.

The prayer.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I didn't throw a ball to her.

I just,

we just

hail Mary and then I was like I think I fucked up because I thought I think she may have had a hijab on so then I just prayed to Allah also

but fuck yeah yeah but I mean yeah I think

I think she's uh okay I don't know who she could not be okay I didn't I didn't understand what happened after I uh I had an interesting moment when I saw that picture that we have up right now that's you in Chicago and uh I haven't been really on social media a ton.

I've been trying to stay off it just for mental health because sometimes, I'm being very candid and honest, sometimes I will see a picture like this, and I'm not touring, and it'll bum me out.

And I'll go, what am I doing with my life?

I wish I could do something like this.

And I was with Leanne in bed, and I saw that, I saw the list of pictures, and it looked so fun.

It was fun.

You got the jerseys.

Yeah.

You got the fucking,

you're with DeStefano, and it's just so

cool.

Jeff Tate was there.

Yeah, Jeff Tate.

And I was in bed with Leanne, and I was like, I'm not doing shit with my fucking career.

Oh my God.

You're crazy.

And I was like,

I got to get on the road.

I got to get back on tour.

And I was like, I got to do Chicago.

I want to do the United Center.

And she was like, wait, didn't you do it last time you were in Chicago?

I was like, oh, did I?

She goes, yeah.

And then I look and I have the exact same fucking picture of me and United Center.

And I'm like, God damn it.

How can you get, how is it that you can get sad when you see someone doing something, but then you've also done the same thing, and then you, but you, but it reflects on you internally.

Like, you know what I mean?

It's like such a weird thing to like see someone on vacation and it bums you out.

And you're like, wait, I've been to that exact resort.

Yeah.

Like, I see people on vacation and I go, oh, man, I wish I could do that.

I was in Spain.

I was in Spain looking at people on vacation, going, I want to go on vacation.

You're like, I'm on vacation.

Yeah.

What the fuck?

Wait, how was Spain?

Oh,

amazing.

Yeah.

Amazing.

Amazing.

I'll tell you what, we need to incorporate siestas.

Siestas are great.

And by the way,

I think my Spanish is really good.

Yeah.

And then, and Georgia speaks Spanish.

Yeah.

And Georgia was in doing an impression of me speaking Spanish.

And it was like, me like compari.

Me want, me want ice.

Me want ice, ice, ice.

More ice, more ice.

Is she loving it there?

She loves it.

Yeah.

She loves it.

She is,

she's speaking Spanish and I'm having the time of her life.

And we went and visited Isla at college.

Isla's fucking happier than ever.

Just Leanne and I sad as fuck alone in a house.

Just me and her every fucking day, Tom.

Every fucking day.

Well, now I see why you want to go on the road.

Don't you feel like

you had a much needed break.

Don't you think this has been good for you, though, too?

It's been really good for me.

It's been really good for me to slow down.

I think, can I tell you the biggest thing?

And this is maybe a little inside baseball, but like

I think when you're that busy, sometimes people ask you to do creative stuff and you don't have the bandwidth for it.

And so it comes out mediocre.

And so like, like, I'll give you a perfect example is like promo videos.

They would tell me like we need an on-sale video for dot dot dot.

And I'd just be like, I get so many of those.

Because, you know, you have an on-sale video for a show.

You got a, I need a promo video for Porosos.

I need a promo video for our 5K.

I need a promo video for your special.

You have have a movie coming out.

We need to do a promo for that.

And you have all this stuff that you just,

all of a sudden, I feel like the fun gets pulled out of the job.

When the job was never intended to be work, it was meant to be fun.

It's supposed to be fun.

And it is work, but it should be fun work.

And that's when it's at its best.

And that's why I think when you see,

I'll use Shane as an example, but when you see Shane make tires or Gillian Keeves, That was all just fun.

It wasn't work yet.

His calendar wasn't loaded.

All he had to do was sit in an apartment with his boys and try to make each other laugh.

And that's the beauty of the playfulness of stand-up, you know?

And I think I had subtracted that out of it and gotten so many plates spinning that I couldn't have fun with anything.

I just was like, I looked at everything as another job.

And I think I'm glad.

I'm glad.

That I got the opportunity to kind of slow down because now I'm having fun and trying to like writing jokes and shooting content that's fun.

And

i enjoy and i'm enjoying i'm enjoying doing podcasts that i'm not that i'm not promoting anything i'm just going on to do a podcast well then also maybe try not to get yourself in that same place again right that's my goal is my goal is to downsize a little bit and bring it backwards yeah so that i don't have as much shit coming at me and and just have fun with stuff like you know what i said i was like I miss

when you first moved to Austin.

I said to Leanne, I said, I miss when you first moved to Austin because I missed that that was literally just a day of nothing.

I love when you come here.

I love when you come here.

But when you come here, you get to have the fun of, I'm going to stay at a hotel.

I'm going to be at, I'm going to go work out in the morning.

I'm going to take a meeting.

I'm going to come to a podcast.

But when I went to Austin, I had to get to have that fun.

Yeah.

It was like, yo, I'm coming in.

I'm going to work out.

We're going to go out to dinner that night.

We're going to go party.

We're going to do a couple podcasts.

And I was like, I told Leanne I was like, I got to start coming out to Austin more.

Yeah, come out more.

I want to go to, in June, I want to spend like two weeks out there.

And just because it's like, because you know the other thing, it's like

with stand-up,

I know you feel this, but like when you're in Austin and you're doing stand-up and you go to the club that night, you've had a full day of the boys, Christine, podcasts,

work meetings, script meetings, supervisors.

And then all of a sudden you go to the club and you're like, I haven't thought about stand-up all day and now I'm supposed to do it.

But when you're on the road, you're like,

yo,

I'm going to just do stand-up tonight.

That's all I'm thinking about is stand-up.

That's true.

And I kind of want to get back to that.

Especially with just stand-up is like, that's what I was like, I told Leanne I was like, I think I'm going to go to Austin for like two weeks, just do the mothership,

literally just do podcasts with Tom, do the mothership.

When he's not there, I'll be fine.

I'll do, I really wanted to do Lauren Compton's podcast.

I do Danny Brown's again.

I think his podcast is awesome.

So fun.

But like,

I think that's what I'm trying to do: downsize a little bit and just get it a little back to what it was.

I like it, man.

That's a good plan.

Yeah.

I think this time off has been good for me.

Taking on too much is not good for anyone, man.

I know.

It's not good for anyone.

So, how long will she stay in Spain, though?

Georgia?

She's coming home in like a week.

Oh, Bob.

Yeah, she was there 90 days.

Oh, okay.

The longest you can have a visa.

All right.

It's like 90 days.

I'm going to FaceTime you when she's back, and we'll just talk in Spanish in front of you.

It was weird when the waitress came up for the very first time we saw her.

We haven't seen her and we haven't seen her work her Spanish.

And the waitress comes up and she ordered for us.

And the phone.

I was like, wow.

She was like, dad, my Spanish sucks.

And I was like, it's better than mine.

And I tell everyone I can speak Spanish.

That sounds very you.

Oh, God.

Yeah, it was cool.

Both the girls, both the girls wanted to just kind of chill out with Leanne.

Like, just hang out with her.

Like, just just even look at like Instagram videos.

Because that's like Leanne's, Leanne's thread is like innocuous.

It's so weird, right?

It's the dumbest.

It's like cat videos, people scaring people at work, like boo, and then there's some lady, some fat lady going,

and Leanne's crying, laughing.

Mine's definitely not like that.

Dude, mine is.

Have your boys gotten a hold of your phone and seen your algorithm?

No.

And I refuse, by the way, one of their favorite things to do is to take my phone and they go, hey, I'm Tom.

They go, I'm Tom.

And then they're like, I grab your phone.

And I always grab.

I'm like, don't, if that shit's unlocked, I'm like, fuck no.

Do not look at that.

Yes.

I learned the hard way with the girls that

I couldn't let them open my Safari browser because I don't know what I've seen last.

And usually it's porn.

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And then I gave my niece Lola my phone.

And she went on Instagram.

Oh, fam.

And she was like, Uncle Bert, what is this?

And it's a video.

There's two.

The first thing she saw was Fat Nward Summer.

Have you seen Fat N word summer?

Have you seen Fat N word summer?

Pull up Fat N-ward Summer.

That was the first thing she saw.

Hold for that.

That is...

Don't put fat Bert.

God damn it.

Fuck off.

This is why I can't be all lying.

This is why I can't be all fucking lying.

Seb you.

Wait,

does that really auto-correct?

Stop.

It does?

I didn't see it.

It says you're Instagram.

Instagram.

Instagram, fat, N-word, Summer.

Oh, I saw it.

Okay.

So this is it?

No, hang on.

Okay.

Go to the Instagram.

Fat N-word Summer.

wait do you have to write n-word or the actual no no no i can't say the word that's what i'm asking no you got to say any you got to say any you say it not any

any

fat any summer any i got it

no

that's the first thing she sees no what are you doing

go to the google search go to the search google search okay that one right

i'm not seeing i see rogan talking to fucking dr

i'm looking at the search bar Hold on, bro.

Okay.

Fat.

There you go.

It's right there.

Okay.

Summer.

With an A, with an A.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

With an A.

The fun winning.

And now go to the Instagram.

Go to the Instagram.

I'm sure it's the one that says loading.

That one?

I don't know.

I mean, that's what he went to.

Oh, it was probably.

Can someone over here find it?

Let me see.

Is it a

no.

Is it a song?

No, it's just a white girl saying

a white girl saying it.

But with a black guy, and I think it's an AI because they're scuba diving together.

Are you hearing that?

Yeah.

So, white girl, yeah, let's just see if that pulls up.

How about the

ones

said fat N-words need love too?

I don't know if that's it.

Okay.

Let me see if I can find it on my phone.

Yeah, this is so.

Yeah, how do you...

Well, I just type the N-word into my phone.

All right.

Well, that's the first thing she sees.

I can't believe I can't find this.

How old is this niece of yours?

Like, four?

Oh, four.

Okay.

I thought we were talking about like a teen.

Four?

That's the first thing she.

And I hear her is like, yeah, it's a fat N-word summer.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then it's a white girl going, it is a fat N-word summer.

Is it not fat N-words with fat pockets?

No.

Fat N-word summer.

I can't believe I.

It's like a song.

It's like a music video, but it's like, I think it's an A.

It feels like it may have been a dream that you had.

You know, I almost sent it to you.

But I had to get out of my phone so quick.

So you, did you snag that phone?

Oh, no, that's not the one.

I heard it and I looked at it.

I was like, what are you watching?

And then she went to the next video and it was a woman pissing on a knocked-out man's head.

Oh, I think that's a good one.

And she was like, Uncle Bert, what are you watching?

And I was like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't look at my algorithm.

Yeah, that's in my algo, too.

Yeah.

And so my algorithm is fucked.

Oh, yeah.

It's real bad.

I'm getting a lot of war videos.

A lot of

war.

Yeah, a lot of war videos.

I think from Ukraine, they're pretty rough, man.

Yeah, people falling on their heads and then

I get and then like I get some car stuff and then I don't know Greek.

I saw a dude on an electric bike yesterday get hit by a car and wrap his leg around a stop sign and it broke his leg in a circle.

And he realized his leg was probably coming off his body for the rest of his life.

There was no fixing that leg.

Yeah.

And his sonic he had in that, I saw it on Instagram.

Oh, geez.

I thought you witnessed it in person.

No.

No.

Having said that, I'm getting a motorcycle.

Oh, that's cool.

Yeah, have you?

Shout out to Harley Davidson.

You already got it?

Ordered it?

No, I'm going to go out and pick it out.

They're going to take me through the whole shop, show me all the different bikes, and I get to pick one out.

Dude, that's fucking cool.

I'm really excited.

I'm so fucking excited.

I've never been more excited in my life, and I'll probably drive it four or five times in my entire life.

Well, it's fun to know how your friend's going to die.

So that's exciting.

You know, I think that about you sometimes.

I go, it's going to be in a car.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

I could see that.

Yeah.

Hang on, hang on.

Can I ask you something?

Yeah.

When you

when, did you know they had video of you talking to that lady or did that video show up and you found it?

The lady that hit your car.

I knew it.

I knew it.

Yeah.

You knew they had video.

Yeah.

Did you know you were being recorded?

Not at that moment.

Okay.

And she always

the moment the video cuts off is the moment the video cuts off.

Like it was, I didn't edit because people were like, oh, it sounds like you were about to get really aggressive with her.

I was like, yeah, I did.

But they just stopped recording.

That's the crazy part is

I was wondering if

you were nervous that you might have said something that you didn't want out there.

No.

No, I wasn't.

I wasn't.

I mean, it was an insane

series of events to watch somebody hit your car, walk up to them and go, hey, you just backed up into my car.

And have that person look at you in your face and go, I don't think I did.

And I'm like,

I watched you.

And then she goes, I don't think I did.

I go, I don't, not like, do you think you did?

You did.

I don't think I did.

And then you're like, yeah, your...

Trailer hitch has the paint from my hood on it.

You know?

I saw that video of you.

And then the next day I saw on like Joke World or something.

Yeah, yeah, this on Instagram.

Yeah, this was, I didn't know I was being recorded, but yeah.

And then that's a terrifying feeling when you find out in a heated moment you're being recorded.

Yeah, yeah.

Well,

but the trailer thing, I was like, lady,

not only did I watch it, like, there's the trailer hitch and there's the hood of my car.

It's like a perfect match.

There's the paint on the record.

There's the paint.

Yeah, it was just nonsense.

Now, I'm curious, did was there, I want to know what idiot on the internet blamed you or took her side for it.

Oh, a bunch.

A whole bunch.

That's crazy.

A whole bunch.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So people on the internet was like,

like,

bro, you're rich.

Oh, yeah.

You can just fix it.

If you can afford this car, you can afford to fix it.

So no culpability on her hitting the car.

Why would you make this person accountable?

And then, yeah, just like, hey, man, why are you putting this out there?

You're trying to get her in trouble?

You're like, what?

Yeah, good thing you can afford it.

You know, if you're going to drive that car, then just, yeah, just pay for that.

I'm like, what, what?

Like, I watched somebody hit the car.

Why wouldn't it be their responsibility?

They're like.

They should flag those accounts.

By the way, I'd interview Putin in a heartbeat.

Interview?

Maybe 100%.

For sure.

Are you fucking kidding me?

I'll brush up on my Russian.

Oh, my God.

I think if your Russian's anything like your Spanish, we should just have a translator there.

But

I'll be good.

You like Bear?

You like Bear?

Vodka, take it.

Vodka, take it in mouth?

I think he'd be a fun interview.

I know.

I wonder if

the Kremlin will take us up on this offer.

Hey, by the way,

soft pitch, Russia.

You've got a bad rap with the media.

I think you have a few jailed journalists.

Time to turn that around.

Bring us out to Moscow.

We interview Putin.

We have a good time.

We show a good face, but do some fun stuff with him, some like archery and shit he probably likes, right?

Sure.

Paint it good.

We'll give him a softball interview.

Go ahead.

That's cool.

Yeah, let's see what they say.

I'm sure we'll heal back.

Can you guys follow up on that?

I told you I've been doing a dive on Mussolini lately.

I mean.

No, you didn't, because do you know what I've been doing a a dive on?

Yeah.

Mussolini.

Oh, really?

Let's go.

First of all,

you just sent that in a text, and I replied back to you.

Yeah.

We just were texting about this.

Yeah, yeah, man.

This guy was

a piece of work, dude.

Like,

first of all,

he stabbed a classmate when he was a teen, right?

And he got kicked out of boarding school.

And then

are you talking about the memoir he wrote?

Dude, his memoir,

when he

forced himself onto a teen, this is when he's in his 20s.

He forced himself onto a teen girl.

He was a 26, 27-year-old man.

This girl's 16 years old.

He does the unthinkable.

He says that when she's, when they're done, she's crying and says, you violated my honor.

And his words in his journal were, what honor?

You're like, what the fuck, man?

He ends up getting, you know, he marries a woman, leaves her, finds another woman that he really likes, but guess what he likes more than that woman?

Her 16-year-old daughter.

So then he marries that girl.

And then

he is, they assume, I mean, there's a lot of stuff.

there's so much to talk about with him, but they assume that he had, presume, that he had at least 100

kids

out of wedlock with other women during his reign of power.

So they would bring women into

the compound, and he couldn't be bothered to take his pants or shoes off.

He was just like, get over here.

Then get rid of them.

And then he would have the secret police follow them.

Be like, just make sure they don't fucking do anything stupid

I mean he was wild dude.

He was a real rascal that guy.

He was a big-time goofball.

Yeah, and he's a goofball.

He really he really was this is of course I'm leaving out the tens and of thousands of murders, but he really

yeah, I mean he he put on the he's the blueprint for

fascist dictator.

Like he's the he created fascism.

Yeah, he's the he's the grandfather of it.

He's the grandfather of fascism.

They were called the black shirts were his people.

And they all wore black shirts.

But can I tell you what the most fascinating thing about Mussolini, in my opinion, is?

Yeah.

The defamation of character that happens after

he's killed.

So like after, so like they loved him in Italy.

They didn't even know all the stuff that he was doing, but they loved him in Italy, loved him, loved him.

And then El Duce.

El Duce.

And then they, and then what a fucking, but that same pose, right?

That same pose you just did.

Yeah.

That, when they saw that the first time, they're like, fuck yeah.

And they like went crazy.

And then they turned that after he died to turn him into a fool.

And then they show that pose a little sped up and he looks like a fucking idiot.

And he's like, do, do, do,

yeah.

And so they did the same thing with Nero in

Greece is.

Nero is not a bad emperor, but like four emperors after him or four Caesars after him or whatever, they kept fucking up and they were like, like, boom, it couldn't last a year, couldn't last a year, couldn't last a year.

And so the fifth one shows up and he's like, in order for me to succeed, I got to make Nero look like an asshole.

So he created the phrase, when Rome burned, Nero played the fiddle.

And they did the same thing with

Ilduce.

that when he died, they just defamed his character so much.

They shared all this stuff so that there was never going to be a recollection of him being the guy that they thought he was when he was the leader.

Because he ran the country and they loved him for a long time.

They did.

You know what I'm wondering, though, is how come we don't have like an awesome modern-day

Mussolini movie?

Like, shouldn't there be a fucking Oscar-level movie about him?

There should be, right?

Yeah, but no one's ever done one about Hitler.

That's the other thing, is everyone, the big, can I tell you?

Hitler was like the mean girl of these guys.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, he was the mean girl.

So, like, everyone, uh mussolini stalin they all wanted to be boys even churchill like churchill flew to london or flew to berlin to meet uh hitler and like sit and talk to him and hitler's just shined him was like yeah i'm not coming i'm not coming to that everyone everyone wanted to be hitler's friend right and he just was a mean girl

Yeah,

I wonder if he was just paranoid about meeting people like once he knew, you know, because there was...

So here's some, by the way, some movies.

Last Days of Mussolini is a 74 film about his final days when he tried to flee Milan.

Robbing Mussolini is a 2022 Italian action film about plans to steal his treasure.

And Tea with Mussolini is a period film that depicts the end of the English expat community in Florence.

Yeah, but I'm talking about like, you know what I mean?

Like a Schindler's List level movie.

about this guy.

It feels like there's definitely that story there.

It's just a matter of who wants to tell it.

Yeah.

Wait, can I ask you,

I've gotten to a big argument today about refrigeratable foods.

Yes, this is a great transition.

Okay.

So

I'm going to tell you a food, and you tell me if it's definitely refrigeratable, okay?

Refrigeratable?

Like, is this

require refrigeration?

Meaning, in your house, do you put it in the refrigerator?

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Yes.

I'm going to start with the one that started

the fight.

Okay.

Ketchup.

I knew that was number one.

So I prefer it refrigerated.

I like to refrigerate it.

It doesn't have to be, but I prefer it.

If you go to someone's house and you're like, do you have any ketchup?

And they go into their pantry and pull out an old bottle of ketchup from their pantry.

I don't want it either.

Yeah.

I said, no,

the thing about that condiment is like, see, even the, it's not technically required.

Most experts recommend keeping it after opening.

I prefer it from the fridge, dude.

Yeah.

The acidity from the vinegar acts as a natural preservative, but storing it in the fridge will help maintain its flavor and texture, okay, the things we liked the most for longer.

Who disagreed with you?

Come on.

Yeah, the old lady.

Yeah, the fucking, the, the fucking mountain woman I live with.

She was like, I like it on the table.

Okay.

Butter.

Okay.

It's another texture one.

Here's the thing.

How long are we leaving it out?

Because

butter is supposed, like,

it's going to last longer, obviously, in the refrigerator, but I like soft butter.

If I'm going to use it, you know, as a condiment butter bread or whatever,

it's nicer that it's been out.

I don't like it like, hey, this has been out for fucking three weeks, but I do like it out and not like frozen like a block.

Yeah.

Leanne

will put it in the refrigerator to hold on to it, but the second she decides to use that butter, it goes out.

And it just stays out.

And it stays out in a butter tray, like a little with a top on it.

And then it just, by the end of a week, it looks like the butter has just fucking put its dick everywhere.

It's all over the top, it's all over the sides.

Yeah.

Squirting out the side.

It's dark because you used a

putting toast knife to cut more butter off with.

Yeah, yeah.

Just fugh.

Okay.

So far I'm on your side.

I agree.

All right.

Cheese.

Cheese.

Soft cheese.

In the fridge, bro.

What are you talking about?

People say you don't need to put soft cheeses in the fridge.

You leave them out.

I think it.

Well, here's it.

Like, here's the thing.

If you're like, we're going to consume this, no, no, no, no.

Leave them out.

Leave it out.

Leave it out.

Just leave it out.

Leave it out.

Leave it out.

I put it in the house.

How about eggs?

Fridge.

You leave those out too?

Leanne, when we had chickens,

she never put them in the fridge.

The eggs were always just out on the counter.

Why?

What's the thinking?

Because she was like, once you put them in the refrigerator, they got to be in the refrigerator.

I'm going to leave them out.

Leave them out the whole time.

Store-bought eggs should always be kept in the refrigerator.

You know, they say milk you don't need to leave in the refrigerator.

Georgia said that to me this week.

Look at this one.

Yeah.

It says, yes, fresh eggs should be kept in the refrigerator, especially if they are washed, as refrigeration helps slow down bacterial growth and keeps them fresh for longer.

Did you just say milk?

Milk.

Out.

Now, think about it, right?

You go to Starbucks,

they leave the milk out all day.

No, but they're always reaching into the fridge.

Type of milk should be be refrigerated.

Yeah.

Yes.

So wait, the girls keep it out?

They like it out?

They were like, milk can be out.

You can leave milk out for a long time.

How long?

I don't know.

And I was like, I don't think that's a real thing.

And they're like, no, it is.

It is.

It's just America is so crazy.

And I was like, no, that's not, that's not real.

Well, you know, this reminds me when I lived in Spain, I lived with an old lady in Madrid.

And when this is what she would do, and

I was like, oh my God.

So she would make coffee in the morning,

old, you know, traditional style, like

the filter, you pour the grinds in, and you press start, and it, you know, it fills up the pot.

So you have your cup of coffee, and she has a cup of coffee, and there's like another exchange student.

You're like, okay.

And then at the end of the day, I'm like going back to my room, and I walk by, and she would leave the coffee from that day in the coffee pot and then the next day brew fresh coffee on the old coffee, right?

You're like, this is bitter as shit.

So I bring it up one time, but like I have to do it in a polite way.

I'm like, oh, this is the, she's like, yeah, you know, it's fine.

You don't need to like pour that out.

So I used to pour it out in the sink when it was late so that it would, it would be completely empty.

And then I was like, oh, I guess we finished it yesterday because I thought it was so bitter because it was old coffee, you know Does old coffee get bitter to me it tasted it tasted sour because it was sitting and like it was sitting the rest of that day into the next day, right?

It's sitting out for over 24 hours.

It's like, why don't we just brewing coffee anyway?

Why are you mixing?

She didn't want to waste this much coffee that's in the

so then let me ask you.

So if you get a nitro cold brew, say you get two nitro cold brews and you bring them home and you have one and you put the other one in the refrigerator, could that could you would you drink that the next day?

You can, but I do think it doesn't taste as fresh.

Really?

I think you can

know.

Like if you're like, I'd have to have, you'd have it.

You'd be fine.

But the preference is always for a fresh one.

You wouldn't want a fresh one?

I mean, I would just

drink it.

I don't know.

But I'm just saying, if I also go like.

Part of me would say, part of me would be like,

I don't know.

I'm so obsessed with my coffee maker right now.

I haven't been to Starbucks in.

I haven't been to Starbucks in probably a year and a half.

Jesus, are you doing espresso or like what kind of?

Espresos.

Duplios?

Two duplios.

Diplios.

Espresos.

Duplios?

Doplios?

Maybe?

It's a deuce.

Doppio?

Dopio.

Dopio.

That's what it is.

Yeah.

I look at Word.

There's a guy that just passed away.

His name was Dingo in the Snow.

Do you know who that was?

No.

He's a very sweet guy.

Friends with all the skateboarder community.

Dingo in the snow.

He just passed away recently.

Is this a guy that was friends with

Ellis and Jason and Tony Hall?

I did see this.

How did he pass away?

I don't know.

I don't think they had the cause of death yet.

Oh, yeah.

But he was a very sweet guy.

I met him a few times, and we followed each other on Instagram.

And

he's only 38, which is heartbreaking.

Yeah.

But what's so funny is he's such a nice guy.

I am dyslexic and I read things fast, fast.

And I didn't read it said dingo in the snow.

I thought it said dingo show.

So I kept calling him dingo show every time I saw him.

And he never corrected me.

And then when he passed, I read it.

I slowed down and read it and I went, the dingo in the snow, not the dingo show.

Ah, yeah.

So I was like, oh, dingo show.

And he'd be like, ah.

He just rolled with it.

Rolled with it.

And I was like, and then I read that.

I was like, oh, every time I fucking called him by the wrong goddamn name and he never fucking called me on it that's that's super sad 38 man he there was a lot of people that love that guy yeah i could tell um wait so well tell me are you are you getting fresh beans for your for your coffee is that way it's yeah so fresh beans and it's and i go through beans pretty quick in that whatever we pour in there i don't know what kind of coffee maker we have but it's my favorite one i've ever owned in my life you don't know what it is i mean i just i'm

it's too expensive to no no no i don't know what it is I don't know what it's called.

I have one in my tour bus and I have one at home.

I liked one in my tour bus so much that I bought one for home.

Okay.

And so I do two Dopplios, Duplios, Dopios.

Whatever.

And I'm telling you, man, I love it.

And I do them over ice.

Yeah.

Oh, it's dopeo.

Yeah, I read things too fast.

That's why I stopped reading comments because I would read comments that were even positive about me

and I would misread them and I would get, I'd feel bad about myself and then I'd reread them and go oh that guy isn't attacking me oh right right yeah he's saying something nice and I just misread it yeah well this is also another language that you're reading it in wait what was I gonna say to you

fuck

I don't know

but I'm happy that you're you're never going out for coffee anymore no I haven't gone out for coffee in forever and although the last time I probably went out for coffee was when both the girls were in town you know the nice thing is you're saving money, it's nice, you don't have to waste money getting coffee every day.

Is that your dad?

Yeah,

yeah, that was his financial advice every time I saw him for like 15 years.

Really?

Yeah, stop going to get buy coffee, which I mean, it wasn't like bad.

It was just like he was like, do the math.

You're like, you know, you spend five bucks, whatever, six days a week, multiple.

I'm like, just fuck.

I'm just getting a coffee, man.

He's like, oh, you know, $30 a week,

four, $120 a month, and it's $1,000.

I'm like, what the fuck, man?

And then you're like, okay, I'll stop buying coffee.

I'm not.

I'm not going to stop.

But I would just be like, no, I didn't buy one today.

So do you make a coffee before you go and get coffee?

Sometimes I have an espresso at the house before I leave, and I buy the Nitro.

Yeah.

That was my favorite thing about going to your house and seeing that Push has her own little coffee station in her bedroom.

You know why that happened?

What?

This was like 10 years ago.

We were looking for a house and on a house tour, like this, them, the realtor showing us the house, they were like, oh, and then there's this here in the master.

It was a house we didn't end up getting, but they had a coffee station in the bedroom.

And she was like, what the fuck am I doing?

I was like, what?

She was like, yeah, why go to the kitchen?

Like, she's like, it should be right here in the bed.

And ever since that tour that day, every place we've we've ever lived, there's a coffee station in the bedroom.

So in the mornings, she wakes up, makes two coffees, puts one on my nightstand, sits in bed, drinks coffee, like, and doesn't leave, doesn't have to leave to get it.

She loves that it's right there.

Yeah.

Makes her happy.

When we were looking at houses,

we were looking at a house in,

you know, where did,

where did Bob Hope live?

Over in Burbank.

Burbank?

No?

Right in front of Burbank.

Anyway,

it was a nice old house, like really

like pine inside, like darkwood hints all over the inside.

Toluca Lake.

Toluca Lake.

Toluca Lake.

It was a great old house.

It looked like it had been built in like 1982, right?

Those kind of like a banister and like stairs with carpet on them.

And then the same way Push saw a coffee thing

and was like, God, I need one of those, in the guy's office,

he had

what I could only consider a,

like he had his

walk-in closet, and right when you walked in, it was a pull-out drawer, and it had little baby bottles, but they were, the way the drawer was set, it was tilted up a little bit so they were displayed, and there was a rack here, a rack here, and a rack here, and it was little baby bottles of Jack Daniels all the way across.

And he pulled them out, and I saw that, and I fucking was turned on immediately.

Yeah.

And I said to the lady, what's this?

She goes, oh,

he's a dentist, and every morning when he wakes up, he takes a shot of Jack Daniels before he starts his day.

No.

And I was like,

shut the fuck up.

That's pretty nice.

I could do that.

That's pretty nice.

I mean, I wouldn't stop at one, but he just took one shot and started started his day.

You know, was it FDR that did that?

FDR would have a shot of whiskey every morning.

No, maybe not, maybe Truman or FDR.

The old lady in Spain.

The old lady I lived with in Spain.

Every time,

I don't feel well today.

Same thing was said.

Yeah, there's Truman.

Harry Truman would start his day with a shot of bourbon in the morning, essentially a breakfast shot of whiskey.

Can I tell you, I've done that, I've done that before,

but not like I did, I do it on Winston Churchill's Day.

I do it one

drink in the morning.

I gotta keep drinking, but I do that one drink in the morning.

And it's kind of wild what mood it puts you in for the day.

It's a good one.

It's like, yeah, and it goes, you don't feel it really, but it loosens you up and then kind of just starts your day.

Yeah, that was,

this was the Spaniard's

like recommendation for if I was like, I'm not feeling well.

She would always say, tom me tun whiski.

Like,

have a glass of whiskey.

I'm like, I don't feel good.

She was like, have whiskey, and then go take asiesta.

And I was like, okay.

So that was like always, yeah.

Wait, when you went there, did you speak full Spanish like you do now?

Yeah, yeah.

I mean,

it got so dialed in when I was there.

I mean, I was what I would say is like probably,

you know, pretty proficient, like fluent by a lot of people's scale.

Yeah.

But

I did six months there and I went to the University of Madrid and I, and I took like comparative economics.

Six months?

Yeah, at the University of Madrid.

And I'm not in a class for Americans, like Spanish classes.

So I had to do term papers,

you know, art history, like I said, comparative economics, you know, all these like college-level courses.

When I got back from there, that was the highest level of fluency that I've ever had.

I mean, like, because you realize with things that, like, you know, like anything, like if you're playing guitars, like, you know, if I was like, oh, we're playing three hours a day for six months, you're like, yeah, when, when that was done, that was the best I was ever playing.

It was like that.

Like, I've, I'm still, you know, fairly proficient in Spanish, but like, though, I remember getting back and being, and, like, correcting, like, I'd speak to my mom and I'm like, you just, misspoke.

And I would tell her what she said wrong.

Really?

Because, yeah, because you're just, it was, I started, by month three, I started to dream in Spanish and, and I would no longer answer the phone, hello, you know, everything just became, you're just so immersed.

And, and, and the truth is, like, you know, Spain's a very modern place, but I mean, a lot of people, a lot of people that I met spoke little to no English.

So it just forces you.

And that's the best way to get proficient in a language is to be immersed with people who can't even, you know, accommodate you if you need it.

They were just like, yeah, I don't speak English.

So, like, that was.

When you came back from Spain, did you, because your mom's Peruvian, and Peruvian sounds different, I'm sure, than Spanish, Spanish.

Yeah, definitely.

Can you hear your mom's accent?

Yeah, for sure.

I mean, and I have a weird accent because what happened was that, like, I was

raised by a Peruvian.

I spent the most time in Peru as a kid.

Then I spend six months of my life still kind of developed.

I mean, mean, like 20 years old in Spain.

Then I get back and I'm with mostly like South American people.

But then I moved to LA for 20 years and most of the Spanish that I hear is Mexican.

So I have words from all three, like I have slang from all three cultures.

Wait, sweet.

Give me an impression.

Okay, do impressions of

these different countries in English, okay?

So if you were, if English, like I would would assume Spanish in Spain sounds like this it is it's the real English of the Spanish and so that

when they're talking and they're like oh would you like to go to a bullfight?

It's brilliant.

It's the official way of speaking the language the awish and then even when they fay vif

because

they do.

They have a very particular and that's like so that's like a real fancy pants way of talking is if yeah

okay interesting okay so that's the that's the standard so then what does Mexican sound like

hey man

so no so

sounds like black people

no that's the Caribbean

so like I think among Spanish speakers they like a lot of Spanish speakers

the way that it works is like Spain is England Mexico is actually this region's kind of head of state.

Like the Spanish that is spoken in Mexico, they have like the Spanish laws of like the way you speak, even though every country will end up doing what they want to do, have their own slang and everything.

There's like an official way of speaking that also comes from Mexico.

They're also like the

cultural guide for this part of the world.

Like it's the biggest, most influential

economy Mexico is.

Mexico is kind of like

Mexico is kind of like, you know how here people go, I'm going to go to New York to make it.

If you're in Latin America, you can go to Mexico to make it.

Really?

Yeah, because they have the most influence on this

part of the world.

Okay, so then

what is like Bogota?

Is that like red?

Where am I getting?

Like, I want to like, I always think Argentina would be like really high-end Spanish.

Like, they'd have like a...

It's just really, it's really

specifically their own thing.

So they have...

But is there any relation to white?

I'm trying to think.

So here's the details of it.

Like, Argentina has a huge, huge Italian and Spanish population.

They have a much smaller indigenous population than other South American countries.

and they have their own

way of speaking.

Their accent is so distinct that, like, when they speak, it's like when you go, oh, you're from Boston.

Like,

when they speak, you don't go, like, uh,

I wonder if you're, you know, that they're Argentine.

Like, it's very strong.

Yeah, yeah.

The whole way of like, I mean, they pronounce, everybody in Spanish says, you know, E-L-L-O-S is ellos,

right?

And then they say ellos.

So they have a completely, you're like, what?

It's not water, you know, it's water.

So it's like their, it's their whole distinct way of speaking.

And

that, so it just really stands out, right?

I think if you look for like rednecks, the rednecks of Spanish-speaking world are Caribbean countries, for sure.

Really?

Yeah, yeah.

What Caribbean countries speak Spanish?

Like Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico.

Oh, Puerto Ricans are like...

Well,

Tony and his club had some jokes about that.

They eat their.

They say in Spanish, they say, it translates to they eat their S's, right?

So, like, so, like, what's an example?

Like,

instead of

eos, they would say, they would be like, eho.

But, like, they're, they're saying the S, but it's, like, not pronounced.

They eat their S's.

They eat their S's, yeah.

Is

all, are all Spanish laughs the same?

Like, okay, so like, we all speak English, okay?

But like, uh, but like, by the way, this is gonna upset.

I just realized how much this is gonna upset so many like people

that of Caribbean descent who are like, we're not rednecks.

And I just want to say, yes, you fucking are.

You are the rednecks of the Spanish-speaking world.

100%.

You guys are the shit kicking fucking country bum fucks of the Spanish-speaking world, and you fucking know it.

Cut the bullshit.

All right, keep going.

So,

um,

like,

do you think you could tell?

That sounds very Dominican.

Oh, yeah.

Go ahead.

Keep going.

You saw that lady, that lady, not Zoe Saldana.

Who?

Zoe Saldana, is that a person?

Yeah, she won an Oscar recently?

Okay.

Zoe Seldana.

Some reporter, I guess she did a movie that was like about Mexico or something.

And Mexicans felt offended by Amelia Perez.

I don't know why, really.

I didn't see it.

She won the Oscar for this?

She won the Oscar for it.

By the way, I didn't see any of the movies that won any of the Oscars.

Wait, was Zoe Seldana, was she a Bond girl at once?

I don't know.

She was in Guardians of the Galaxy, I think.

Was she a Bond girl, though?

I don't know.

I know Anna Domris was, but I'm talking specifically, was Zoe Saldana in a Bond movie?

I don't think that.

She wasn't in a Bond movie?

Hold on.

Why just type in Zoe Saldana Bond?

Just to see if she comes up for

Bond.

Hold on.

I'm just curious.

Okay.

She must have been another attractive woman.

Go ahead.

She got a lot of Mexicans were upset.

I don't know why.

I didn't see Amelia Perez.

Okay.

But they like bum rushed, not bum rushed her on the stage, but they kind of like

challenged her when she was like doing her press after she got an Oscar.

And this lady's like, uh, I was like, it's a great movie, but what do you say to all the Mexicans that you offended?

And so I saw that and I was like, bitch.

She didn't say that, but she was like, she basically was like, I have a different opinion of you than you do.

Wait, but what's the scandal?

I don't understand.

I didn't.

What does that news article say?

Like, that you had up first?

Said that

apologize.

Okay, so what is the thing here?

After taking home the Oscars

for

best supporting actress,

Amelia Perez star Zoisal Danyak responded to a criticism of the film's portrayal of Mexico after a journalist shared that it had been really hurtful for Mexicans.

First of all, I'm very, very sorry that Mexicans felt offended.

That was never our intention.

We spoke from a place of love.

I don't share your opinion.

For me, the heart of this movie was not Mexico.

We're making a film about friendship.

We're making a film about four women.

She continued, these women could have been Russian, could have been Dominican, could have been black from Detroit, could have been from Israel, could have been from Gaza.

And these women are still very universal women that are struggling every day with trying to survive systemic oppression and trying to find the most authentic voices.

So I will stand by that, but I'm also always open to sit down with all my Mexican brothers and sisters with love and respect to have a conversation about how Emilia Perez could have been done better.

I welcome it.

I mean, that seems like a pretty diplomatic answer.

I thought she said, Bitch.

You

said

there.

She was like, bitch, I'm bitch.

Fuck what you think.

Okay.

So

I'm just like, I'm wondering, like, just looking at all this stuff, that if it just

me

and like my own interests and age changing or do people care less about Oscars now?

Like doesn't it feel like it's not as

you live in LA, so it's different, but I just feel like nobody really registers them that much anymore.

Is that my own

am I wrong?

No, I think that

I think that the movie experience has changed entirely.

It's a huge deal.

Used to be a huge deal, but I mean, the Oscars were for these blockbuster, crazy, avatar, Jaws,

Star Wars.

You know, those were like the Oscar greatest picture.

Now it's like greatest picture.

I had not seen any of those greatest pictures.

And I think they're because they're all done.

I mean, I think one of them was done for like $2 million.

Really?

I mean, I think

they're just not making it.

I think it's cool that they can get...

an Oscar nomination even, but I just feel like the whole thing

happens now.

And I'm like, oh, like, I feel like maybe that's like my own interest shifting, but I feel like it used to be like such a big, like in my mind, it was a bigger cultural event.

Well, I never really cared about the Oscars ever in my life until I moved to LA and people like, hey, we're going to watch the Oscars.

And I was like, why?

Are we going to watch the Tony's next?

Who gives a fuck about these things?

And then, and then when I moved to LA, people were like, yo, it's Sunday, and there was a reason to drink.

I was like, I'll go to an Oscar party.

And then now I find myself going, well, we should watch watch the Oscars.

And I watched the Oscars.

I think Conan did a great job.

I think Kieran Culkin's speech was fucking hysterical.

He was great.

I think, I don't think Adrian Brody was an asshole.

That's what they're all saying.

He was despicable

for saying, hey, I've been here before.

Cut the music.

I'm going to talk.

I think Zoe Saldal, I think, I mean, I think it was a bigger deal.

It was like they cared what people wore.

I think that's so,

I think the world has gotten to a place where there's such a disconnect between Hollywood and the rest of our country.

I mean, Hollywood is it.

Maybe the gap is so much bigger now.

And you know what?

It's like people have an opinion and you can hear their opinions.

Yeah.

And

I'm telling you, the canary in the mine was the pandemic.

And everyone got to assess what their house looked like versus celebrity houses.

And when that fucking, that lady that played Wonder Woman did that video or when any celebrity did a video trying to relate to America and they showed their garden behind them.

Yeah, yeah.

It was a day.

It really just pulled Hollywood further and further apart.

And I got to tell you,

I think the producers that are wanting to make movies are wanting to make movies about

stories that I don't, I'm not certain that all of America cares about.

Well, clearly, not a lot of them.

None of the, I don't think any of those.

How much did the top who won one movie of the year?

I'm curious how much money, Anora, how much money did Anora box office bring in?

Let's see.

It grossed $38 million worldwide.

$38 million is...

$26 million budget.

But $38 million is not...

No, it's not like, holy shit.

No, for sure.

It's not crazy numbers.

What were all the Oscar-nominated best pictures?

What were the best picture nominations?

Okay, so Enora wins.

Amelia Perez was one.

A Complete Unknown.

Conclave.

Nickel Boys.

I'm Still Here.

The Substance.

Dune Part 2.

Wicked the Brutalist.

Dune Part 2 is a badass movie.

Right.

Well, that's a...

Big blockbuster type of movie.

Yeah, and so is Wicked.

$300 million movie.

Yeah, yeah, that's a big, big, big movie, too.

The other ones, they're not like huge, huge films, but yeah.

I thought the Brutalist was out of boxer.

Look at these fucking.

Seven of the ten best picture nominees grossed less than $100 million.

The only exceptions being Wicked, which you mentioned, Dune Part 2, and A Complete Unknown.

Which one is A Complete Unknown again?

Oh, the Bob Dylan one, right, right, right.

Oh, that's Bob Dylan.

Oh, yeah.

My kids went and saw that.

I heard he's amazing in it, but.

Yeah.

Tillman T.

Chalamet's just, I think he's a fucking, I like that kid a lot.

Yeah, I like him too.

I don't give a shit.

I couldn't give two shits less about anybody than Bob Dylan.

So I just have zero interest in seeing this.

I don't give a fuck what he does in this thing.

I don't care.

I have no interest in Bob Dylan.

Who do you care less about, Bob Dylan or Amelia Perez?

Bob Dylan.

Because I don't know who Amelia Perez is yet.

So, yeah, Bob Dylan is the absolute fucking least important human being to me on earth.

Bob Dylan,

I know too much about Bob Dylan to start saying stuff because I was a huge fan for a long time.

Yeah.

But

yeah, I didn't see the movie.

I'll tell you that much.

Mussolini take a shit than watch Bob Dylan sing a song.

I don't care.

They should do a remake of a complete unknown called A Somewhat Known Person and make it about Mussolini.

Dude, let's fucking let's pitch this.

This is our next pitch.

I'm in.

Somewhat known.

Somewhat known.

Yeah, he does.

Here,

when we come back next week, the number one thing we have to talk about is fucking Deuce Gruden.

Okay,

Deuce goddamn Gruden.

John's son.

Let's do it.

That guy fires me the fuck up.

I like it, dude.

I like it.

Thank you guys for watching and listening, and we'll see you next time.

One goes topless while the other wears a shirt.

Tom tells stories, and Bert's the machine.

There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean.

Here's what we call two bears, one cave.