Why Ice Cube Stays Mad in Every Movie w/ Funny Marco | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Hey everybody, this Sunday, October 19th, I'll be in Hanover, Maryland.

I'll have to haul at live during my come together tour.

Then next week, I'm coming all across Indiana.

Gary on October 23rd, West Lafayette on October 24th, and Fort Wayne on October 25th, and Bloomington, October 26th.

Get your tickets right now at thomasgirl.com/slash tour.

100%.

You're 32?

Yeah, I'm 32.

How old do you think I am?

If I had to put a solid age on it,

you're talking about silent, or like, not for what I guess, but solid.

If I was getting paid.

If I was getting paid.

Who do you think is old?

Do you know Tom's girl?

Uh-huh.

Who do you think is older?

Me or Tom?

I'm going to give you.

And it's because I see you so much.

Yeah.

You know, the longer you see somebody so much, they start to look older.

Dude.

is that what's happening with mirrors?

Yeah.

Because I saw a picture.

I saw, and we can definitely lower the ACN here for you fucking idiots growing spores.

Jesus Christ, you ever notice how hot it is in here?

I try not to think about it.

For real?

You don't think with your body?

You just got to think with your mind.

Wow.

Yeah.

I think with my body.

Yeah, I see.

You've been thinking with your body your whole career.

That's your thing.

Look, you came in here.

You got your titties out, right?

I think with my body.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think.

But your body has gotten you far.

You're the only person I could say that's got like this,

like the,

I'm trying to say it like in the best way, but you got like

the sex appeal.

that nobody wants, but you done made so much money off of you just being you, and they love it.

So it's like, you like, you accept who you are.

So it's a great idea.

Like, I'm like white Druski, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, he should have just got you for the skit.

It's funny because Drewski is like someone who can fall and really hurt himself, yeah, and laugh it off, and you know, he's walking into the other room going, No, I think I fucked my hip-hop, yeah, yeah, but it's it's for the joke, yeah, yeah, fuck your whole generation.

I think is so fun for me.

Like, your whole, like, I think there it's uh, it's funny because you forget how old fuckers are, yeah, like, yeah, like Tom's, I think Tom's 47,

Theo's 45.

Hold on, Theo is like 45,

yeah.

You he think he looks well, no, Theo is not 45, 100.

Google it.

How old's Theo Vaughn?

Theo Vaughn's been in the game for a minute.

Yeah, he's 45.

No, he's not.

Yeah, he is.

He actually is 32.

I've known Theo for 20 years.

This is hysterical.

How old are you?

I wish I had his new number.

I will call him.

I have his new number.

Can you call him?

He's really 45.

How old did you think he was?

Not that.

Like, that's.

He's about to be 50.

But it's okay to be 50.

No, it's okay.

It's a catfish because It's a catfish.

You're close with Theo.

You're a Theo are friends.

He's 45?

Yeah.

I think the world don't know that.

No, I don't think the world knows that.

I don't think he, yeah, I don't.

I mean, I don't think he goes out and tells people his age, but he doesn't hide it.

He's been in the media for his entire life.

Yeah.

So is freaking Orlando Brown.

He's not 45.

Who's Orlando Brown?

Orlando Brown, the guy that sold sprites?

No, that's from Disney Channel.

That's a Raven.

Who am I thinking of?

Orlando?

No?

Yeah.

Orlando Brown's 37.

How old's Chris Brown?

How old's Chris Brown?

Chris Brown's 36?

Wow, I did not know that.

Shut the fuck up.

I'm blown away that you thought Theo was.

Chris Brown is sexy, though.

Who?

Chris Brown?

Yeah.

Chris Brown's so talented.

Yeah.

Oh, sexy too, right?

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What else age?

Let's see.

see this is a guess at age let's see somebody else's how old do you think rogan is oh steph rogan no joe

oh joe rogan

theo's older than seth rogan

58 60 he's almost 60 yeah do you think the more money you get it helps you like not look old yeah i think so yeah how much money do you think i have more money or age you got more money yeah you definitely look your age i look my age

Are you 63?

I'm 52.

I was close.

That's not close.

52.

But that's amazing.

You still look good.

I look good for 52.

Tom is, how old's Tom Segura?

He's 47, I think.

46.

Tom's a year older than Theo, but he looks old as fuck compared to Theo.

Yeah.

Oprah Rinfrey.

How old's Oprah?

Let's guess.

Let's guess.

Okay, 70.

63.

71.

63.

71.

Oh, my God.

71.

God.

Fucking nailed it.

Oh, my God.

This is really.

How old is Druski?

He's got to be 27.

No, no, it's 33, 34.

31, 31.

Okay.

Kevin Hart.

Hang on, Kevin Hart.

Hang on.

Don't Google it yet.

Kevin Hart.

47.

I got 47.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Don't Google it.

47.

I'm doing the math.

I was 26.

He was probably 21.

You fucking cheating.

Oh, no, no, I'm doing the math when I met him.

I was 25 when I met him.

21.

I'm guessing he was 21 because I think he was drinking.

no he wasn't drinking little keb is what they called him I'm gonna say he is 46 did I say what did I what did you say I think I said 46 46 yeah 46 god damn he's done a lot of 46 yeah oh let's do uh uh uh this one uh oh wow he's been old all my life

uh semio jackson oh oh he's gonna be 82 yeah 82.

i'm gonna say 85 85

85.

uh he's so old he married his niece.

Wow.

Are they together?

Morgan Freeman.

Okay, we'll do Morgan Freeman next.

Wow.

Sammy Jackson's got to be 81.

I'm going to do 85.

76.

They don't have it.

76.

76.

He's been old all my life.

Yeah.

He has been old.

Do you remember

Jungle Fever?

Jungle Fever, he was in Jungle Fever, right?

He played the crackhead.

Probably so.

Oh, Chris Rock.

What about Chris Rock?

Oh, he's got to be...

I bet he's 57.

57.

I bet he's 60.

I bet he's 60.

Over to.

60?

60.

Boom.

Chris Rock.

Okay, out of everyone who knows his name, he probably looks the best.

Who do you feel like the sexiest comedian is?

Male.

Yeah.

Male comedian.

I mean,

like, now, hang on.

Do we quantify?

Don't, don't type it before we've said it.

Do we quantify?

Like, do they have to be, you have to know who they are, right?

No, no.

I just had to agree with you.

Like, oh, wow.

I think one of the best-looking comedians out there.

Because

all comedians are funny looking.

No.

Jeff Dye is good looking.

Let's look him up.

Jeff Dye is attractive.

Okay.

Wow.

Yeah.

I'll tell you, I'll tell you, Jeff Dye is a good-looking dude.

I think it kind of hindered him when he was younger because he was clean and he was good looking.

I'm trying to think out of New York who's good looking.

There's not a lot of good looking comics.

Yeah, that's what I said.

Yeah.

But with black comics, there are.

Chris Rock's a good-looking dude.

Matt Rife, Matt Rife, Matt Rife.

Matt Rife, Matt.

Oh, yeah.

Matt Rife is number one.

By the way, if Matt Rife's listening to this, you know, he was

in his bus with his headsets going, it's fucking me.

It's fucking me.

I'm number one.

I'm the number one best-looking comic out there.

Dane Cook was a fucking sex pot when he was at it.

Wow.

Now, how old do you think dane cook is dane cook uh 53 yeah probably 52

53 god dang i know him he was definitely uh was he a comedian the dude that just came out with the netflix special with us did all the drugs who's that uh

he uh he he uh from between two friends

uh zach alphanages no no no no no uh

What's his name?

He got a Netflix documentary where he said he did a lot of drugs.

charlie shane was sexy too i know

charlie sheen yeah charlie shane was

wait did you see between

you said between two friends

what was the show called it was called two and a half men yeah same thing but there was between two ferns yeah did you ever see between two friends yeah i like that's good yeah yeah i love it did you ever see the original no i don't mean original and i'm i mean i don't mean this like uh because you can't really say anything on the internet yeah they pull it clip it make you feel like you're talking about a guy you love clip for me yeah i uh i love Zach.

Between two ferns is an original.

I think Caleb Press is original.

I think you're an original.

I think everything's everywhere you do when you make something.

You can be a student of the game and learn from other people, but when you make something, it's original.

It's your thing.

I think it's original because it's you doing it.

Yeah.

But again, that's like

LeBron James and Kobe.

They do the same thing, but they're original because it's their personality.

Yeah.

You know, and they, and they both, you know, I was, I just got into a deep dive on yesterday was uh

Mellow Ball.

Mellow Ball.

And I was like, oh, he's amazing.

And then someone texted me and they're like, nah, it's just highlights.

Like his team saw.

No, he really, he really is good.

Is he?

Yeah.

He knows how to play.

Like, he knows how to dribble.

He know how to shoot.

He's so fun to watch.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then it's just Charlotte.

Sometimes it's not like who you are.

It's where you at.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I just feel like you got to change.

He got to go to a new team.

Is it like crowd work?

When you watch someone do crowd work, you're like, God, that guy's good.

Yeah.

And then you're like, oh, this material sucks.

sucks yeah yeah like he he can't he can't do the easy stuff that's what i said material uh look at that okay let's see this is he's so look how he dribble look he dribble so and he know how to pass without looking like look look at that it's nice you want to know who you remind me of like patrick mahomes yeah of like how he plays Like the young Patrick Mahomes when he's going crazy.

I love his fucking long three-pointers where he kind of steps away from it with one foot.

That's how Patrick Mahomes was in his primes.

I think he's still in his prime.

It's kind of it's he wasn't last night, but it was a good game, it was a great game.

Yeah,

it was a bad loss for me, but that's what I did.

You bet I almost did.

Lil Duval almost bettered him.

Thank God I didn't.

Lil Duval, how old is Lil Duval?

Oh, Lil Duvall,

older than me.

He got to be 60.

He's got to be 63.

Lil Duval got to be 60.

63.

He's been at it.

48.

Wow.

Oh, my God.

All right.

Well, let's guess how tall he is.

Lil Duval is.

I'm guessing 4'11.

Five feet.

I'm gonna go under five feet.

I'm gonna go under five feet, and I'm gonna say 112 pounds.

Oh, 5'2.

Oh, wow.

How much did he weigh?

You want to know who's aging right in front of me?

Mike Epps.

Really?

Yeah.

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I knew I've known Mike Epps for 20.

You know, it's so funny is when you meet someone, like when you're not, like you, you, you, you, I know that you, there's a period where you weren't famous, but you pop pretty quick.

Right, right.

When you aren't famous and you meet someone who then becomes famous and then you know them like for 20 years, but you've seen them blow up.

Yeah.

You wonder if they still remember you.

Like

that happened with me and like Craig Robinson and Mike Epps.

I saw Mike Epps at a party.

He was like Bertie Bert.

And I was like, I was like, you remember me?

That's like, it makes you like, yes, like, what the fuck?

Yeah, it makes you.

And he's like, yeah, fuck yeah, I remember you.

But you, you know, you had a moment with them.

But you just go, like,

it was, they must have that with me.

How you got to meet Cat Williams yet?

Yeah.

How was it?

Can you talk me through the experience?

Can you use this voice too?

Shit.

You a rock star, motherfucker.

Uh-huh.

He had a white

baklava on.

The R.

Kelly mask?

What's the baklava?

Is it a baklava?

Type in Cat Williams white baklava.

I'm almost certain you'll see the exact same one he was wearing.

What's it called?

What's the thing black dudes wear so they don't get their ops?

Oh, a ski mask.

Oh, yeah, ski mask.

balacaba that's it that's the actual one so oh he had that on he came up i mean i knew it was him obviously yeah yeah

he comes up and he's like burt chris you're a fucking rock star and word

and i said oh thank you i go you know i was i literally was like you know who i am he's like fuck yeah

you a rock star taking your shirt off i've been trying to take my shirt off for years and wards won't let me i can't even wear a vest on stage burt kraisia

keep doing you you man i love it and i was like i was i was through the roof can you tell me a time that you asked somebody for their number like a celebrity where you was like damn i want to get his number

and you got it and i got it yeah or you got turned oh i just did i just did a good one the other day

i wish i could remember who it was i did a good one the other day

and uh

i asked for trick daddy's number he didn't ask me uh-huh i was like yo man we should keep up he's like yeah call my people and he just walked away

wait what about you you've interviewed everybody yeah you've interviewed You've interviewed people I know and I go.

I'm still laughing at the trick daddy thing.

That's funny.

He's like, yeah, call my people.

Yeah.

You got him.

You got me.

Yeah.

You got me, right?

Like, the way he did it is like, we're here right now.

This happened.

Do it again.

Yeah.

But you've interviewed people that I go, like, that I always, that I like, but I don't know anything about.

And I go, I want to know what they're really like.

Right, right.

Because like, if you said to me,

like, people always go, what's Joe like?

Like for most people, I just go, he's the sweetest guy, you know, whatever, dot, dot, dot, but I feel like he's the type he is who he is on the internet.

He's intense.

Yeah.

I feel like he listening to Joe Rogan, I feel like,

no, Nicki Minaj.

Nikki Minaj.

You interviewed Nicki Minaj.

Yeah.

She's fucking.

When I tell you, let me tell you what Nicki Minaj did to me.

I never talked about this story.

Nikki Minaj, and right there, click on a Lambo.

Right there.

Right there.

I asked her for a Lamborghini

and she said okay I'll get it for you

the interview comes out

you know my life is changing

I like cut off my grandma cut off everybody on that interview came yeah because my life changed yeah I let go of my family

because because you interviewed Nicki Minaj your phone blows up yeah your podcast drops when yeah uh on Mondays uh no it was random it was, because she had to approve it.

And I pissed her off because I did a preview clip and I posted it.

I was so excited.

And she said,

by the way, I didn't improve this.

And I'm like, oh my God.

I'm like, fuck, I didn't take it down.

And then I'm dealing with.

I'm sorry, Nikki.

I was so excited.

Like, thank God it didn't go out of proportion.

But

around Christmas time,

it was one o'clock a.m.

I'm asleep and I'm getting calls.

I'm getting calls.

And then I, they're like, check your phone.

I go,

I go,

I go on Instagram.

Nicki Vinaj says, I got you a Lamborghini.

And I'm like, oh, my, and I'm sitting outside and I'm like, I hope it's outside.

Like, and I'm praying.

I'm like, oh, before I look out the window, I'm like, oh my God, she really got me a Lamborghini.

Like, I'm at the shit on these hoes.

So, and I'm like, I'm so excited.

You don't understand.

I'm at the window like one o'clock.

I got woke up out of my sleep.

Yeah.

And I look outside, nothing there.

So I'm like, all right, okay, maybe it's, and I go outside.

I'm in my boxes.

I'm looking.

and i my heart was so broken and it was just like

it was it was like what like when did she start joking like that

that's why

why she do that to me you know what i'm saying like i i'm like why 1 a.m she's thinking about me because i thought it was real i'm like biggest gift appreciate you yeah i was mad after that look outside you with me right now surprise

And that's what I said, you see the biggest appreciate you.

No, LOL, nothing.

I was so upset.

Like, biggest gift.

And it was like, why is she thinking about me?

So I thought it was real.

Like, you know what I'm saying?

Like, if you did that to me, I'd be like, damn, bro.

Like, he really fucks with me.

Look, we had a good time.

We smiling and selfies.

I was like, yes, I'm like, I'm a barb.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that, that shit made me feel like shit.

And nobody understand how that is for somebody.

You know, when your daddy said he's coming back, probably not.

No, I know.

I know.

Can I tell you when you said that?

I do know what that is, but only because I'm friends with Donnell.

Yeah.

And he's told me what that feels like.

And immediately I went, I know that feeling is sitting on the stoop.

My dad is coming, get me.

Yeah.

It's like

he came back, but

he came back with more kids

and presents for them.

Yeah.

It's crazy.

And that, was that the interview that popped?

No, Orlando Brown.

Really?

Or Leo Brown?

It was him.

He was, he was, when I tell you,

he was like over the place.

Like

Orlando Brown clips were like, look, like I'm on the mic.

He sucked the mic randomly.

For people who don't know who Orlando Brown is, tell them who he is.

He's from Nesso Raven.

Oh, yeah, I remember him.

Yeah, so, and

he's just iconic.

Like,

there's that whole generation of like Kiki, uh, Kiki Palmer.

Yeah, Kiki Palmer.

And they're all from those, those Nickelodeons.

I don't know.

Kiki Palmer.

I don't think.

Where did Kiki Palmer blow up from?

She was on.

I don't think she was ever on the TV show.

Because I remember for Long Shot.

She's been acting for so long.

By the way, she's a good person, too.

Yeah.

She has done so much stuff.

She has.

She had that new movie on Instagram.

Don't that feel good that you can Google and say the list go on?

I would never have that.

Yeah, you will.

I mean, it's still.

No, it's not.

How old are you?

What?

30, 32?

32.

I'm 52.

I've been in two things.

Let's do your list.

Come on, let's see.

Oh, my list sucks.

Burke Chrysler.

See?

Uh-oh, hold on.

It's all

specials.

But that's good.

That's.

Is that you?

Yeah.

Who's that dude at the bottom?

All the way at the bottom.

It's not you.

History of the joke.

It was a...

It's just everything I've ever been in.

Okay, okay.

But why aren't they had your picture?

Because

I was just like a talking.

I know, but it still would have just been.

It would have been nice if

it's Lewis Black.

Trip of a Lifetime, Trip Flip.

This is all the Cinderella story I produced myself.

Best in Town was a show.

What was your one?

Which one?

You know, oh, this is like, I'm not sure.

I'll show you.

All this is fake.

All this is fake.

Birth the conqueror.

I mean, not fake, but it's just like, it's like stuff I was kind of in.

Conquer was, yeah.

So you got like a shot.

Like, hey,

yeah, like nothing really big.

And then

right there, Hurt Bert was my first.

That's wrong.

That's actually Birth the Conqueror.

That was my first TV show where like they put marketing budget behind it.

And then after after that, the next thing is specials.

It's the machine.

It's comfortably dumb.

It's Hey, Big Boy.

It's Razzle Dazzle.

It's Secret Time.

And then Razzle.

And then the big thing.

And then the cabin was like the first thing I ever made that got traction that like people watched and liked.

And that was on Netflix.

It was during the moment.

I took, you know, honestly, to be dead honest with you, it's a show that you could easily do.

Is

we supposed to be scripted about me and comics going going to a cabin in the woods and experiencing things yeah and we couldn't get a cast in time so we couldn't script it because we couldn't write it because we had other people yeah so we just went to a cabin with comics and we just did live podcasts why don't you still keep going what happened

just the time the way i i i'm i'm speaking out of my ass but i think the way hollywood works is when you have a hit

and then you leave the network no one wants to bring your hit back because it's not theirs they want to create their own hits yes okay so i always wanted to bring it back, but the guy that created it left.

I think he's in the UK now.

So the guy that he

is very complicated, but it was a spin-off of a French show.

There was a French co-called Le Cabon.

And I know that sounds crazy, but we got the rights from them because this guy had done this great thing called Traveling With My Father with Jack Whitehall.

And he loved the Le Cabon, which is a French show.

They brought it to America.

They brought it to me.

It was supposed to be scripted, but but we couldn't come up with scripts.

So I just brought comics.

So it was really a podcast.

So the guy was crazy is the guy who created the show, Le Cabon.

Am I saying it right?

How do you say

the cabin?

Le Cabang.

Okay, Le Cabang.

He came to see his show, his show.

He was like, I want to see you in production.

I met him.

And he was like, so how do you do today?

What do you do today?

And I said, well, I have Bobby Lee and Donnell Rollins.

And he's like, and what will you do?

And I was was like, well, Donnell, Donnell's homophobic and Bobby likes to get naked.

So we're going to have a good time.

And he was like, huh?

You got them two together?

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

I got to watch that.

And so we started the episode with Bobby sitting naked in my lap and Donnell walking in and then walking immediately out.

And he goes, I don't, I don't get twice.

That's funny.

And I was like, well, it's because Donnell doesn't like naked shit.

The next thing we did was we put a tube up my asshole and we put cough.

We did a coffee.

we did a coffee hold on hold on hold on

let's just sit like this is sitting a moment real quick if we could just sit and like silence for a little bit of course

just let me know when you're ready

And what happened?

We did a coffee enema.

No, no, what did you put?

Let me see if I heard it right.

So you you put an enema so he put a tube in my asshole and poured coffee into my asshole and it goes into my body and then i laughed and i it out all over the place and the dude who created this show that was a scripted show walked off the set

he goes this is not my show he just walked off and i was like hey thank you man it's gonna meet you

the next thing the night as he was walking off Bobby and and Donnell were pretending to be each other's fathers in scream therapy.

And

Donnell was just doing a horrifically racist Korean accent.

And Bobby was doing a racistly

black accent.

Sorry, I'm in jail, Donnell.

I can't raise you, Donnell.

And he's like, oh, Bobby, you are a disappointment.

And so the guy walked off.

But yeah, but that's the reason you don't want to do the show.

Maybe I don't know.

I don't know.

And then the machine.

I made the machine.

It's still on Netflix right now.

Yeah, it's good.

It's really funny.

You'd like it.

You like it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because I think you have a,

it's interesting because I heard, I watched your podcast with Theo.

I do.

I love Theo.

And I, and I think his podcast interviews with, with guys like you are really fucking good.

Yeah.

Really good.

It is happening.

Him and Caleb Presley, and he's really good at that.

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But it was funny because you said like the awkwardness doesn't play culturally.

Like that's not like a black thing.

Yeah.

And, but it's so good and it plays so well culturally.

Yeah.

How come?

I feel like

where our funny is,

is our trauma.

So It was something I always think like our movies

are things that we go through and we we make fun of it.

Like Friday was about two guys getting put out, not being able to pay rent.

That's the sad situation we hear,

but they made it funny.

Yeah.

So it's like, and then it's like, I had to think of another one.

Like,

I just broke down the best black movie.

Like girls' trip.

Like, them.

It was like two girls, like, they all go on a trip and it goes wrong.

And they all start falling out with each other, but they made it funny.

So I could say our culture, we go through things and we, in real life, if you just heard it, you're like, damn, that's fucked up.

But we make it funny.

And

when you think about Super Bad, it's like, what the fuck is that movie about?

It was just a lot of awkward McLoving fake IDs.

And it was funny.

Like, it was awkwardness because it's no real situation for real, but it's funny.

Like, stepbrothers.

That's not a bad thing.

You're like, oh, I got a stepbrother.

We don't like each other.

That's not all.

Yeah.

But they made it funny.

So it's like, in our culture, I feel like we learn to go through things and we make it funny because it's like, y'all can relate through this.

It's really fascinating because, yeah, when you look at Superbad, it's basically about two guys trying to lose their virginity or one guy trying to lose their virginity, another guy lying to his buddy saying, I'm not going to the same college.

Yeah, it's like a cluster fuck.

Yeah.

And it's awkwardly funny.

So, like, I feel like, and you know, in the culture, it's different.

Like, our culture, we make fun of our pain.

And then when you look at movies like Super Bad, it's like it's random shit.

Super Bad, what's that?

I still don't know what this movie is about.

What's that called?

Pin Up Express.

It's like we getting high.

Like, yeah, like, and it was just like,

but,

and speaking of movies.

Yeah, wait, I don't know what Pineapple Express is about.

I don't know what a lot of white movies are about.

That's so funny.

But it's like the storyline, it's just like, you don't, it's not a plot or end.

It's like

this drug dealer, he runs with his drug dealer.

He's seen a murder.

I don't even know what his job was at the beginning.

For real.

Yeah, that is a really convoluted story.

So I feel like some, like, you know, in the culture.

But it's fucking brilliant.

Yeah.

You know, in the script.

but when you're reading it, you're like, what the fuck is this?

So, wait, okay, this is a really interesting conversation.

So, what happens in white movies is they make funny scenes, funny sketches, and what they're looking for is like almost like do you type it uh top uh black uh comedian movies and i'm gonna break down like i want to go through

Top black black black they were scared to type that yeah

okay so look All right.

Let me go down some of these.

All right.

Like Friday, right?

Friday was, that's Ice Cube and Smokey right there, right?

Yep.

That was about him.

Friday, oh my God, Friday was

him and his friend.

He got fired on his day off.

And his friend, Smokey, which is Chris Tucker, comes over and he puts him in another situation.

He like, since you got fired, let's smoke this weed, man.

They smoked the weed, but he smoked Chris Tucker, like the weed man plug, which he's supposed to be selling it now.

He got him in another problem now.

They trying to kill both of them.

Yeah.

So like that was like like some shit that like that was some fucked up shit to do.

Like

describe Medea for me.

Medea.

Like, you know, is that basically just breaking down a black family system and saying

like that grandma that just keep the family together, but like, but it's a lot of sad shit going on.

Yeah, no grandma.

No, all these are black movies.

All right, CB4.

CB4 is probably the most relatable.

Oh, I heard that was when he played the cranky.

I never got to watch it, though.

But early Chris Rock as an actor was, I think,

is really fucking good.

Although his top five movie is an amazing fucking movie.

Type of Ice Cube movies.

Let me tell you something about Ice Cube.

Let me tell you something, and I'm going to point this out.

Yeah.

Every Ice Cube movie, he has played himself.

Nobody else.

And I'm going to tell you, look, first fight.

Look, let's all right, let's go down to the bottom.

Boy, in the hood, he was mad.

Yeah.

Friday, he was mad.

Indacondas, he he was mad and a condo he was mad I got the hookup that's like a small look

he was he wasn't yeah he was mad he got into fights yeah Friday at the next he was mad all about

he was mad barbershop mad like the shop was shut down again Friday at the next mad again barbershop mad again are we there yet didn't fuck with the kids mad

First Sunday mad at him for that mad

on a with Kiki Palmer he was mad

Jake's promoters, he was mad.

He was a Jakey promoter with Ride Along.

Mad

at them.

He didn't like Kevin Hart.

Mad.

It keeps going up.

First fight.

He didn't like him.

Mad.

Oh,

he didn't like his second cast that he was.

He never liked him.

Wait, do you think, do you think Ice Cube is really like an angry dude?

Shit.

Boys in the hood, it was like a mad.

He was mad in there too.

Dope.

He does not, like, it's not no movie where you see him, like, yeah, man.

It's no one movie, Ride Alone 2.

Lottery ticket, lottery ticket.

Is that the one where Mike Gaps gets the lottery ticket?

Yes.

No, no, no, no.

He was in that one.

That's a Bow Wow movie.

But he's in there.

But I'm saying every movie.

Hold on the Benjamins is where Mike Gaps gets the lottery.

Yes, that's where he was.

He was a bounty hunter, mad, trying to get.

Yeah.

Every

co-host that he was next to, are we there yet?

He did not like them kids.

One thing about Ice Cube, he always had a part two of the movies, these mad movies.

How much money you have?

Are we doing that?

Ice Cube's.

How old do you think Ice Cube is?

Ice Cube got to be 71.

But he's a genius because he made it through Hollywood with being itself.

56.

56.

Oh, shit.

He's younger than Joe Rogan.

I know, that's fucked.

Sorry, Q.

But

what I'm trying to say, he's a genius to be able to

go through Hollywood and say, I don't need no script.

I got it.

I don't like him.

Yeah.

He didn't like Kevin.

He didn't like Kevin Hart.

He didn't like Mike Epps.

He didn't like Chris Tucker.

All these are legends.

And it was so dope how they played off each other.

Yeah.

But he just came in like, I'm not going to like you.

And like 21 Jump.

It's such a comic, great comic trope.

Is the goofy, crazy, loose, silly, fun

versus no.

Yeah.

It was like a good duo.

It's a good comic trope.

Yeah, it's a good, it was like the duo.

That's fucking awesome.

Yeah.

And he just been like, and I said, nobody ever called this out, but Ice Cube don't be happy.

And even look at the covers of the movies.

Look at them.

He's mad on the covers.

Click on Ride Along.

Look at the cover of Ride Along.

Like, like, first fight, mad.

Like, he's never, like, look at, like, he's mad through all that.

Okay, if you had to replace, let's do this.

If you had to replace that with white actors, who would be the mad white actor?

Ooh, that's a good question.

I bet Bill Burrow would be a great ice cube.

Yeah, Bill Burrow would be a great one.

Sebastian Man Escalco?

yeah look him up let me see rogan would be i think steph rogan yeah no joe rogan yeah oh

sorry step joe rogan still acted yeah i could see him being that one because sebastian's got like uh not to like not to quantify but like his whole thing's like who does that yeah why do you do that the wrong with you

yeah he'd be good

uh how do you feel about um how do you say his name um from super bad What's his name?

The main character.

Jonah Hill?

Yeah, Jonah Hill.

His career has, like, he has been so many people.

He has changed.

And he was Jonah Hill.

Yeah.

Jonah Hill.

Jonah.

Jonah Hill.

I feel like he got to a point where he was that person where everybody thought

he just wanted to change his image and his whole character.

He was that goofy guy, and I feel like he wanted to say, it's a different version of me.

See the one with the glasses.

And like with him losing weight, I feel like

if somebody, you can get him on Spike, I feel like he got a story to tell.

I feel like he wanted to get away from this character where he was known, and I feel like he started to, you know, be something else.

That's just me being a fan, looking in.

I'm a real fan.

Like, I'll tell you what, but you feel like it didn't change like how his movies changed.

Oh, yeah.

And I'm glad it did.

Like, when you look at him, I said this when I did my first movie, I said, like, who do you want to work with next?

I said, I don't give a fuck about working with anyone.

And my director was like,

my producer was like, no, like, if you could work with someone, I think every white guy's answer is always, it's always going to be Danny McBride

or Owen Wilson or what's the Vince Vaughan?

Jonah Hill, in my opinion, is the best improv actor that's ever been out.

Every take he does, and I don't, I've never worked with him, but from what I hear is a little bit different than the other one.

And he comes in with so many options.

And when you watch Super Bad and you watch the outtakes of him doing that rant that is all improv.

He's like Juski.

Yeah.

And

so when you're that good

and it's got to suck to be typecast as, and then we'll have this fat guy.

And you're like, well, hold on.

I'm actually a brilliant actor.

Yeah.

And they're like, no, no, I know, I know, I know, but, and, cause Hollywood doesn't write brilliant actor.

They write fat guy.

Like, trust me, I've gotten a lot of Santa Claus scripts.

Wow.

Yeah, a lot.

And I can see it.

So can Hollywood.

But like, the scripts I get are like, are pretty much one thing because that's what they're doing.

And Jonah was like,

I don't need the money anymore and I don't need your

description of me.

I want to be who I want to be.

And I don't, and I don't want to be trapped in this body.

Dude, when I lost weight, the first time I lost a ton of weight, people are like, you ruined your career.

40, 50 pounds.

And I was like, I remember good, some of my best friends said, you just fucked up your stand-up.

I was like, what?

They're like, can't take your shirt off anymore.

I was like, why not?

And they're like, cuz, look at your shoulders.

But some of my best friends were like, you do.

Do they expect you to get bigger?

They just want me to be fatter.

Yeah, yeah.

And I think they want me to be fatter so they're happy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't think they want me to be fatter.

So they know the money's still there.

I guess.

I don't know.

But this is me at my skinniest on the right.

And that's me on my fattest yesterday.

And then, but like,

and I think Jonah Hill probably was just like, yo, I'm going to make my own path.

Yeah.

And it sucks.

It's like people go.

People may say to you like, yo, we're looking for like someone just to be deadpan and just sit there and be quiet and yeah, and just be funny that way.

They don't know how you're funny, they can't quantify how you're funny.

They just know it works, yeah.

And they go, Yo, we need someone to do this, this, this.

Hey, you come into this, and then they tell you, Do do your thing.

And you're,

I didn't know my phone was on.

Did you just take five pictures?

Yeah, you look, look at him.

Who's that?

Look,

what's up?

Hey, hey, what's up?

What?

How are you doing?

I'm still trying to figure it out.

Who is that?

And he said, what the hell when he see you?

Jesus.

You see him?

And he said, what the hell to you?

Who is that?

The what the hell man.

What the hell?

He got my number one time and I didn't know.

He's like, oh, he's like, what the hell?

Like, he called me on accident.

He He called you?

He goes, what the hell?

Yes.

And he calls me all the time.

Did anyone see what he looks like?

He looks like, yeah.

I'm going to try to call him out.

Two rows of teeth.

One there and one here.

Am I right?

The camera's right there.

I don't.

And then he picks up what he wants.

He doesn't pick up for what you want.

No.

Oh.

What up?

What up?

What the?

what's up man what the hell okay all right

that's all he says what's the what the hell he calls you at seven in the morning all the time what the hell where's he from minnesota i start really talking

do you like being famous um

see this is my thing

i feel like

When I and this is like something I talk about in my stand-up where it's like

people don't realize realize that they're famous.

People make you famous.

And I don't think, and I'm gonna use the name, I don't think like Beyonce woke up one day and said, look, I can't go to Walmart no more.

I can't, or I can't go to Target.

I feel like when you go do what you normally do,

they act like you shouldn't be there.

And that's when they make you famous.

Like, what?

Like, I go to TJ Maxx, I'm in there, and they're like, what you doing to this motherfucker?

Yeah.

And I'm like, I'm trying to get a discount like you.

and then i'm shopping with my daughter like what you doing in here

and i feel like people make you feel like i can't go to these places no more yeah and they develop the word famous to make treat you differently like i feel like we're all the same i'm good for my talent you're good for yours but people like i'm at the airport like what you doing here i gotta get on a flight yeah oh you sitting coach use the bathroom you're like what you doing in here and you hold your own dick

you sit and coach you like you sitting coach yes oh it's not going good so now it's like i can't

you And then the kind of car you drive, what you doing in that?

Like, and that's why I said, people,

if we understood it's okay to be known for your talent and just be like, I love what you do.

Keep doing it.

Amen.

Keep going.

It's cool.

But when you like sitting back and they filming you and they, they sit at what you doing?

I just feel like, like, I'm thankful to be this.

And I'm thankful that you appreciate what I do.

And I love, thank you.

And I want everybody to know you can chase your dreams.

That's that.

But I don't never feel like I'm better than nobody, but certain people make you that way.

And that's like young Jock.

He was doing Uber.

Like, what are you doing Uber in?

What if he just wanted to Uber one day?

So I feel like people develop the word famous on the people.

That's interesting.

Yeah.

Like, you can't just go do nothing.

Like, you can't just walk down the street.

Well, I was about to say with your shirt off.

You could.

But, like, if I was walking down the street, my shirt off sweating and it was like, well, he on drugs.

What's wrong with him?

Like, I can't just do what, and it takes away.

Like.

Like, I couldn't have lived.

Like, bro, I'm watching literally Michael Jackson.

Can you look at Michael Jackson creates?

he created the own store.

He bought a grocery store.

He rented out a grocery store.

Say, rented out a grocery store and put paid actors in there so he can go shopping for the first time.

And I'm watching this.

And this was like he had to do that because he never been shopping before.

And that's why I said it's like, imagine seeing Michael Jackson

anywhere at Walmart.

They're going to be like, what are you doing?

Look who it is.

And he's not going to be able to shop.

This is crazy to say.

Look at this.

He really was

happy.

And he was like happy.

He rented out that and had paid actors in there because they never went grocery shopping before.

They were shopping, so it felt like you know, it was a real environment.

Had people in there that I knew

pretending as if they were shopping, so it felt like you know, it was a real environment.

Had my cousins dressed like they were bad boys, and

I went shopping.

It was great.

They planned everything right down to the muse.

All you wanted to do is go to the grocery store.

Yeah, now people will know who you are when you put the glove on.

Wow.

Where's he going?

What would be your version of this?

Like, let's say, let's say every dream you've ever put in your journal comes true.

This month, this year, by this 2026, you're in a movie with Ice Cube called, Man, That Guy's Angry, right?

Right.

And it's the hit movie, and you're, and you got everyone's, like, you're, you're the shit, and you can't go out and do the things.

Like, what would be your thing that you love doing?

Oh, that get taken away.

Yeah, it got taken away.

Oh, that's a good way.

Getting up and going by myself.

I get up and go a lot by myself, and it would be taken away now.

Where it's like I had to have somebody with me.

I feel like I can't be like, imagine Day Chappelle by itself anywhere.

It's impossible.

Like, so imagine

when you get that famous

because I'm like D famous.

Like, damn, he's still going.

Like,

Keep going.

Yeah.

See?

Yeah.

It's not like, hey, like, we accept you.

Like, A-list is like, we accept you.

Like, we love you here.

Like, you know, C is like, you know, like, catch up, like, catch up the A.

What's B.

Like, bitch, you on the way.

And I'm D, you know?

But

with me being D famous, D-list, it's like

I can imagine certain people that's on a level to where their presentation is everything and they judge you.

Like it's people that's going to have bad days and it's okay.

Like, you know, it's like everybody's still going through normal things.

And I learned not to treat people like what I see them at.

I understand that it's a person behind that.

Just because I see a cashier at McDonald's, I don't treat you like that.

I understand you're still a personality.

I feel like certain people just still don't know.

You still are a human being.

You're not a robot.

You know, so I understand people judge people for their jobs.

It's like it's something behind that.

Yeah.

Like Beyonce still has to, you know, go take shits.

You know, she still got diarrhea.

You know, she still got family that she loves.

She still might have like a bad day.

So when, you know, problem is up and you at the airport, you gotta, you can't let nobody like, yeah, not pictures right now.

I'm kind of, you know, my grandma just died.

They're like, who gives a fuck?

Like, I need this picture now.

Oh, I was with, I was with the, I was with my daughter.

She was having a moment.

She was crying.

And we were having like a parenting moment.

We were, I mean, we were standing in public and someone just came up and was like, hey, man,

can I get a picture?

And I was like, I'm kind of dealing with something.

He goes, all right, when you're done, and I was like, I'm not going to be done for a while.

She's crying.

He's like, oh, then let's just bang out a selfie real quick before I go.

And it makes you feel like shit both ways.

It's crazy because my daughter was livid.

And I was like, I understand.

I understand this guy.

I get his brain.

Yeah.

Because I've seen famous people

and not known.

how to interact and go like, hey, can I get a picture?

Like,

I did it.

I did the thing that I I hate that people do to me, to Big Boy from Outcast, where I got a picture and then we got on the plane and we were sitting in front of each other and I asked for another one.

And I was like, I already got, and as I did it, I went, I already got the picture.

I hate when people do this to me.

Why am I doing this?

To prove I was with them in two places?

And so I understand that.

But it's crazy when you say that.

To get up and go is, I was, to talk about Theo one more time.

I asked Theo the other day, I was like, hey, do you travel alone?

He travels everywhere by himself.

He goes everywhere by himself.

He has no team.

It's him.

He gets on a plane by himself.

He walks by himself.

I was talking to my wife.

We were talking about the possibility of infidelity.

She wasn't accusing me of anything, but we were joking.

And I said, I haven't been alone

in

seven years.

I haven't been alone.

Somebody's in your business.

Someone's been next to me for seven years.

If not one person, seven people.

have been with me for seven years.

And that's interesting you say that because it would be nice.

not maybe i mean you know obviously you get what you want because you work for it and and then you want the team and you want to create and you want to make things but i see what you're saying of like the old school college days for me of like getting up and just disappearing yeah and no one asking where i was and not caring to check in with anyone yeah

no one going like well i'm worried about you where are where did you go yeah This is my brother, he was like, yeah, it's like, it's a place where you're going there.

It's titties and ass everywhere.

You got to pay to get in.

You can pick who you want.

I can't go in there.

No, you can't.

Man, but he's like, I don't know.

It sounds fun, though.

Do you remember the first time you got that you ruined a strip club for your friends?

Yo.

And that is because

I threw a lot of money.

Yeah.

And every time we go, or they seen with me, they're like, all right, he's here.

He's back.

Yeah.

And it's like, I just want some chicken today.

Are you talking about Magic City?

Blue Flame.

Okay.

Because Magic City's got the best wings in the fucking world.

Yeah, they, yeah.

And you say chicken.

I was like, wait, Blue Flame's got good chicken,

yeah, but less you know, imagine he got it, though.

But I was just in Blue Flame because it's like it's bigger, it's a bigger space, though, really.

Yeah, yeah,

I went to a strip club with Brett Ernst to cut another comedian.

When you go to a strip club, do you strip or you keep a club?

No, they ask me to take my shirt off all the time, yeah, all the time.

They're like, hey, come on, you can do it.

What's the difference between like the white girl strip club and the black girls strip club?

Uh, it's a power dynamic.

Uh-huh.

A black stripper

conducts herself with with more power than a white stripper.

White stripper comes from a place of,

and I hope I apologize.

It's just my perspective.

And I just thought about this because we were at Magic City with Pac-Man.

A white stripper comes from

a punching down place.

When you get a lap dance from a white stripper, you almost feel bad for her.

You're like, ugh, what happened to her life?

You get a lap dance from a black chick.

She is in control.

She's in power.

She's directing the narrative.

Yeah, hella, Jerry All.

Oh, yeah.

And she's like, there is, you don't ever, I mean, from as a white guy, just as a white guy, like, if uh, and I'm just saying, like, ballpark rules: if the rules are, you can't touch my ass, yeah, you don't touch a black chick's ass twice, you touch a white chick's ass twice, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, if you drive, if she goes, don't do that, you're like, yeah, sure, right, well, one more time, and then, yeah, but we would don't do that with a black chick, yeah, black black strippers, the first black strip club I ever went to was Magic City,

and

I was on ecstasy and I was blown away at how much more fun it was.

Yeah.

It wasn't sad.

It wasn't like, like, it wasn't like.

It's like a world.

It's a different world.

Yeah,

it's a party.

Yeah.

And everyone's a part of it.

And

they still dance even if they ain't getting money.

Yeah.

And it's just like,

like, you know, at the white girl school, they dance like.

Like, that's the white girls.

They just like, hey, like, you know, you want to dance?

And it's like, oh, you know?

And then the white girl's like, you're going to take this fucking dance.

Like, you want a shot?

Give me a shot, motherfucker.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Take me through there.

Open a bottle of champagne.

We must spend so much bottles, so much money on champagne.

Order another and then start ordering shit for you.

Yeah.

Get us six, eight bottles up here.

The fridge isn't open.

Have them opening it.

Magic.

Open this fridge.

Like, you're like, let me tell you the first

time I went to a strip club.

We should call Pac-Man and hear his difference between white strippers and black strippers.

I bet he's never been with a white stripper.

Right.

Oh, yeah.

But let me tell you: the first time I went to a strip club, I'm in there

and I see all the women I like.

Black strip club?

Yeah, it was all everything.

Everything.

Okay.

I see all the women I like.

And then it's one that come I don't really care for.

She come up and she's like, want to dance?

And I said, I was like, oh, I ain't got no money on that.

Let's get my debit card.

She says ATM right there.

I'm like, what the fuck?

That was my excuse.

And I did not know AT, this is my first.

So I'm at the ATM.

I'm getting the money out.

She's still right there.

And I'm like, I'm going so slow.

And I'm going.

And she's like, yeah, she's like, and she's looking like, I was like, yeah, she's like, you can take out how much ever you want.

And I'm like, please get away.

And I didn't know.

I didn't know.

And that was my first lie.

Yeah.

That was like,

that got exposed.

And it was like, damn.

And she got the money.

And, you know, it just, it just made me feel like shit.

Yeah.

You know, and it was just like, you know, I got to come back in here, but I'm not looking at you.

It's, it's a weird.

You got to say no.

It's a weird energy to not make eye contact with people.

Yeah.

To be like, oh, fuck, don't look at her.

Because it's almost like,

have you, you've been to New York?

Uh-huh.

You ever, the first time you walked through Washington Square Park and people are trying to sell you weed?

Yeah.

And if you don't know, if you're from the South, you don't know that like people going, smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke.

It's like, I think that, I thought they wanted cigarette.

So it's like, oh, no, I don't have one.

And you just don't start the conversation.

But those, that strip club energy is like, it's like crazy.

It reminds me of YouTube.

When you're watching your favorite show, and ads keep popping up.

Yeah.

So it's like, you can skip who you want or you can watch it.

It's like, skip that.

It's an ad, here come an ad.

That's what like our little phrase is.

Like, even when I'm with my friends, right, here come an ad, and somebody comes over, hey, man.

So it's like, let's try to skip over this one.

If you started a strip club, what food would you serve?

Well, I will try to, you know, what I will serve, I will serve pancakes, pancakes, and I would serve pancakes with like pancakes burger, pancakes chicken, like the pancakes, because like, you know, cakes, and I'll call the club cakes.

That's a business, that's a brilliant business model.

I don't know why they don't make more pancake tacos.

Yeah.

Because it's all just a sweet thing.

Yeah, definitely.

Yeah.

I remember the first time I ever had chicken.

Oh, that looks like pancake tacos.

Pancake tacos.

I used to make those.

I can't wait to get all this mucus out of me.

Get an IV today.

Get an IV.

I was scared.

You want to know who got me my first IV?

Who?

I want to, like, you got to look him up, listen to him.

He's a dope person, and he got like, people look at him as image, but NBA Youngboy.

I wrote his name down.

I don't know anything about him.

Yeah.

I don't know any, I know, I know his name, but I don't know anything about him.

Him or NBA Young Thug is there another guy named Young Thug?

Yeah.

Tell me about him.

I feel like that's the thing when you get older, all of a sudden someone shows up and they're super hot and like everyone's talking about them and you're like, well, fuck, I don't know who that is.

That's Young Thug.

Go to NBA Youngboy.

Yeah, and when I tell you, he's so chill and cool.

Where's he from?

Louisiana.

Okay.

And he's like, right now he's on tour.

Look at his tour right now.

It's like he's, they calling him like the Michael Jackson.

Yeah, I saw that.

That's how how I saw him.

His tour is crazy right now.

It's going like where it's stadiums.

And

what are they doing at his tour that they were all everyone's talking about?

Oh, it's like

his tour is where they go.

The cheap seats come down to the expensive seats.

Yeah, they've taken over.

And they're taking over.

And it's just videos of people going like, this person paid $9,000 for tickets.

I paid $15,000.

What are you doing?

We got to go to one together.

I'll do it.

I'll do it.

We'll pay for expensive seats and then watch everyone flood us.

Yeah.

go go wait go back he got one in atlanta coming up when atlanta is gonna be sick yeah

state farm arena yeah october 18th

am i on the road

are you on the road on a wednesday i may not be am i on the road october 18th oh fuck

that's a saturday

When does it say Wednesday?

They all say Wednesday.

He got two shows there, right?

Or only one?

Yeah, on the 15th, October 15th.

Yeah, and then you got the 18th.

Fuck.

And then the 18th, too?

Who opens for him?

It's different people.

Yeah.

So

if you want to go to his show, can you text him and be like, yo, can you get me tickets?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Will he get you backstage?

Really?

And then do you get intimidated in the backstage?

Because I'm sure there's a ton of people.

When you go backstage in Atlanta to an NBA Young Boy show, it's got to be the who's who.

Everyone's got to be there.

The thing is that I tell people

when you're around people that got big names and you excited, it's always be you.

I feel like we, like in you, you can speak for our experience.

You've been next to where this is naturally, like Donnell, when you meet him, it's just him.

Like, I feel like when you be you, people can accept who you are.

And also,

don't tell yourself, don't be weird.

Be weird.

Be you.

Cause if you stop yourself from being yourself, it can be like weird.

Like, okay, like, you know, so that's what said i it

determines like your friendship like you know yeah um i always tell people if you come backstage one of my shows have a blast i want you to have a blast yeah enjoy what about how you got to meet i think y'all do good together backstage like uh post malone hey y'all got to like kick it yeah i ran into him one time I mean this out of respect.

I don't mean this shitty, but like he has so much going on on his face that I did not recognize him.

Yeah,

we first started off.

It started getting a lot of tattoos.

It was, it was like we were in a group.

And also he was in me.

And I, once again, just being careful with what I say, he was in my space.

He was at the backstage at the comedy store.

So he was in my space.

So I saw a guy with like gold teeth,

all the tats, the big beard, smoking a cigarette.

And we almost bumped into each other.

And he was like, hey, man, huge fan.

I was like, and as soon as he said that, I went, oh, thanks.

Kind of directed eye contact and walked away.

And someone was like, yo, Post Malone knows who you are.

And I was like, what?

And they're like, Post Malone, I had to go back and go, I didn't recognize you.

And he was like, really?

But he has so much going on that like,

it's a lot.

And so if you're

if you're getting recognized, you can get caught off guard.

He was very sweet.

I took a picture with him.

Yeah, that's like me.

I used to like, I have my braids.

Now my afro.

So like, like you, you lost weight.

You had it.

So sometimes people do change their image a lot.

Do you know?

Do you like, did you like when he was doing hip-hop?

Did you like post-malone then?

Yeah, I like when people be comfortable with themselves and they live in their truth.

Like, and

I'm learning, I don't care care to point fingers, I don't care about all this and that because like I tell people, don't match ugly with ugly.

Even if you feel like they doing, like, it's okay.

Like, let them figure it out.

Let them go through it.

So don't match ugly with ugly.

I learned like not to give people, you got me fucked up.

I feel like people pass those out so much.

Like, when are you going to really use you got me fucked up?

And prime example, somebody can go to McDonald's get their order wrong.

You got me fucked up.

Somebody can cut them off on the road.

You got me fucked up.

It's like, why do you care so much that somebody can get in your brain and say, you got me fucked up?

Like, how many are you going to pass out?

Yeah.

So again,

yeah, like, like, it's like, how many, I don't got that many.

You got me fucked up.

I got like two of them a month.

And when I use it, I really use it good.

Should be for my wife, kids.

My kids.

That's it.

That's what I'm saying.

But other than that, you, like, I understand that this is normal.

It's okay.

Like, I don't have to live in this moment forever.

Yeah.

And once you ask yourself, do I got to live in this moment forever?

It's all right.

Like, if somebody cuts you off, I get it.

Beep.

I'm not about to follow you home.

I don't have to live in that moment forever.

Yeah.

The strongest thing is

the most powerful thing is not giving a fuck.

Yes, that's what I'm saying.

If you deal with someone young in the service industry and they don't give a fuck and you give a fuck and they don't, there's nothing more powerful.

When I worked, I used to work at Barnes ⁇ Noble.

I remember one time this lady asked for a magazine.

You had to take the escalator up to

the magazines.

And usually if I took the the escalator up, I was going to get where the coffee was.

So she got behind me and I took her up the escalator

and I walked past the magazines and I forgot she was with me.

And I got in line to get coffee

and she was standing next to me.

She was like, what are we doing?

And I went, oh, shit, I forgot you were here.

And she was like, what?

And I was like, yeah, I'm sorry.

I go, I guess my head's just not into this.

I go, they're over there.

And she was like, no, you need to take me over there.

I was like, oh, I'm getting a coffee.

She was like, no, you were helping me first.

I was like, oh, oh, yeah, I don't, I'm going to get a coffee.

Like, I didn't give a fuck.

If I got fired, I didn't care.

Yeah.

She was so livid and I did not care.

Yeah.

And me not caring was so much more powerful than anything she could have said to my manager, Dwayne.

Yeah.

She.

Dwayne, he was black.

Yeah, he was.

Yeah.

And

he was.

He asked me if I wanted to be a manager and I was like, no.

Right.

And he was like, I'm a manager.

And I was like, exactly.

And he was like, I was like, it's benefits.

He's like, you went to college.

You're an English major.

And I was like, yeah, i don't think that barns and mobile doesn't exist anymore so i thought i made the right call no that was good that that's the like that you like and that's what i said and guess what she went and she told a lot of people that story and you went on about your life and she probably talked about that story to this day yeah like oh i remember him he's that they walk back what if they what if they made a pill called i don't give a

how good i guess that's called weed no that's cocaine cocaine yeah cocaine yeah that's right yeah

i ain't never seen a cracker that gives a about shit.

What they dress, what they do, how they steal, that's what that is.

I don't give a fuck.

Yeah, they don't give a fuck.

I'm in my own world.

That's ultimately what all drugs are:

a dose of drugs.

I don't give a fuck.

Yeah.

Especially drinking when you drunk.

I don't give a fuck.

You go to jail.

You go to jail.

You wake up.

Like, what the fuck happened?

That's the only thing when you come down from the, I don't give a fuck.

Like, you're like, fuck it, I need another wife.

Ooh,

I give a fuck next morning.

Like, drunk people are so cool.

Like, that just stay at home.

Like, the ones, like, i had a drunk uncle he just stayed at home and he got drunk and he just got mad at

when he ran out of beer and it was just his name was uncle rob

and it was just amazing and relaxing to know that you can drink your own shit and sit on this couch and watch football and watch and just stay out of the way

There's no, there's no better feeling.

I know the feeling Uncle Rob had.

There's no better feeling than having a plethora of beer in your fridge.

Yeah.

And knowing all you got to do is get up and get another one.

And in that sound reflection, that cracking open sound.

This sound of this sound when you're, when you got nothing to do.

And it's like, the best is when it's on a Sunday and you got a flight on Monday and you're going, I'm going to pack my bag.

I'm going to fucking watch some YouTube.

And then you got a six pack of the club and it's in the fridge and you got four left.

This sound.

Yeah, that's so.

And every time I heard it, I said, he about to get drunk.

And they're waiting when they wake up and

the rhyme.

It was that.

You know, I just thought about this because my mind is so random.

They should get you.

It's a new season of King of the Hill.

You should go get you a character on there.

Okay.

You need an animation character on King of the Hill.

That would help them.

It would be big.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If you could do, if you could reboot one franchise and make like one animated franchise, pull up animated franchises.

that you could reboot.

Which one would you reboot?

Well, a lot of people,

I'm going to probably get hate for saying this, but they said the boondocks.

I never watched the boondocks.

I've never watched the boondocks.

I knew a couple guys that wrote on it.

Yeah, the boondocks is a big one.

They're like animated franchises, Universal.

Type in Universal.

Universal's got the best ones and the old school ones.

Click that.

Make it bigger.

I know none of them.

Child's Play.

That's Chucky.

Wow.

Animation.

Chucky is considered animation.

I don't think so.

Woody Woodpecker.

It's Child's Play.

Woody Woodpecker would be a good one.

I love the hulk ted

i don't know any of this

you don't know ted who ted

you mean the the

wait the the teddy bear yeah oh yeah of course let me ask you this that's so funny can you go to lion king toy story and if you had to get rid of one which one lion king I said the same thing.

I asked the world that.

And I felt like Toy Story, I learned a lot.

Yeah.

It was a group of friends, toys that stayed together, and Andy was loyal to them.

There's a million types of Lion King stories out there.

Yeah.

Like Bambi's a Lion King story.

The Jungle Book's a Lion King story.

But who would you say is the main character on Toy Story?

Woody or Buzz Lightyear?

It's Woody.

See, people would say Buzz Lightyear.

Who got paid more?

I'll tell you.

I guarantee you, Tom Hanks got paid more than Tim Allen.

Let's see.

Who got paid more than Woody, Tom Allen?

But they would say Buzz Lightyear is the main character.

No.

because Buzz Lightyear got his own movie though Woody don't

they got paid fifty thousand dollars each

see

are you

they got paid fifty fucking thousand dollars

that's the crazy thing when let me ask a question i'm gonna ask

see look i bet let me hi who's the main character in toy story buzz lightyear or woody

uh buzz lightyear All right, I'll call you right back.

People are saying Buzz Lightyear.

I said what's a white chick.

Yeah,

who type in who's look who's right there?

It's Woody.

Yeah, but that's like look who's up front.

It's Woody.

See, everybody.

Buzz Lightyear's smaller.

Let's do Tristan.

Tristan's black.

Okay.

Type in who's the main character.

It's funny.

This is where this conversation led into like nothing, but it's so dope.

Hey, Tristan.

Hey.

Just told you.

Who's the main character?

Yeah,

just Trish.

Look.

What's up, brother?

How you doing?

Who's the main character, Tor Story or Buzz Lightyear?

What?

Woody.

Ah, Woody.

And Toy Story.

Woody or Buzz Lightyear?

Neither.

They're both.

See, everybody got their own idea of what everybody's saying.

Who's saying who's the lead character in Star Wars?

Who's the lead character in Star Wars?

Hans Solo or Luke Skywalker?

It's Luke Skywalker.

It's Luke.

Hans is a good supporter, but it's Luke.

It is.

Okay.

It's Luke's story.

Yeah, it is Luke's story.

It's Luke's story.

You're right.

I don't say bye, though.

You don't say goodbye.

Yeah, it's rude.

They tell somebody bye.

Like, that's forever.

Like, I want you to live forever.

I like that.

Yeah, just hang up.

I like that a lot.

All right, real quick, before we wrap up, I got to get you out of here.

What uh,

I need black phrases.

I hear wrap up.

I'm thinking like no, no, I'm not saying bye.

I'm not saying bye.

Oh, um, what I need, you taught me type shit

one year ago.

Uh, take me through there.

Take you're making these up.

No, I'm

watching.

I'm trying to tell you.

Look, we call it.

Watch this.

He's going to finish it.

Hold on.

We're going to do this.

Finish it.

Finish it.

Take me through there.

Take me through there.

All the way in it.

No, okay.

I'm sorry.

That's a phrase that we got in it.

Like, that's take me through there.

Take me through there.

Like, take me through there.

It's like,

like, take me through what you want to talk.

Like, if you told me stories, hey, look, let me tell you what the fuck.

Like, take me through there.

You gotta go, man.

I went on a date last night.

You go, take me through there.

Yeah, take me through there.

Take me through there.

You gotta say it like that, though.

Take me through there.

Yeah, you gotta say, take me through there.

So it's like the story.

Like, it's the story.

Take me through there.

See, y'all tell her, look, it's a thing.

It's a song.

Hey,

let me try it with my daughter, okay?

See if she knows it yet.

All right, let's see.

All right.

You ready?

I'm going to tell me if I use it right.

What was this?

Call.

Hi.

Sorry, I didn't answer.

God damn it.

See, she says, sorry.

How old's your daughter?

My daughter, my oldest one is 12.

Yeah.

How's your youngest?

youngest one.

I got three kids.

I met the youngest.

A year.

Yeah.

So 32 years old.

I got different races of kids.

I got the Mexican, the black one, and then I got the white and black one.

I'm going for Asian next.

You're going for Asian?

Yeah.

Yo, Sandra.

Oh, no, I'm not.

I'm just saying.

Sandra, what would be a good black Asian name for someone?

This?

This is different.

This is different.

Yeah.

Yeah, this.

Yeah, this, like, D-I-S.

D-I-S-S-S.

I want you to meet this.

Yeah, this.

Oh, what?

Who's that?

Is anybody like this like what do you mean this but you had to say you got to say the d loud this this yeah sandra what's a good like give me a good black uh asian name this is good like yeah blasian name yeah have you have you read uh harry potter book before no no not at all my brother he said he could read one in a day i was like it's impossible it's impossible iko iko in that uh in that uh genia iko yeah

that's a good one

you done having kids you got one more uh i want want to adopt, though.

I want to adopt.

For real?

I'm going to do it.

I got a whole bid on foster kids.

Oh, you like bet?

What?

No?

I'm going to try tonight.

Like, you say bit, like, like, putting in a bit.

I got to do two spots tonight.

Can you tell me something in life?

What is that thing?

I always seen in the movies when people used to be like going for 50, 50.

Like, it was a crowd of people and they used to bid on how much something go for.

What was that?

Sounds like slavery.

Oh, no.

No, it was like a movie.

They had him in movies.

Remember Remember in white chicks?

Where he was like, when he was like betting the scene, he was like, he was like going for 50.

Wouldn't white chicks say.

Oh, an auction?

No, go to white chicks.

Bidding.

I love that your reference is white chicks.

Bidding, bidding, bidding, bidding.

It's an auction.

What does that mean?

What was that for?

I never understood that.

A bidding.

And they had girls, like you, it was always on TV show where you can bid girls.

Back in the day, you'd be able to take one of them out on a date.

They do a bid.

They still do it at some places, but sororities would say

this is not done anymore.

But in like the 80s, it's a little bit of a trope in this, but you could take the hottest girl out that you'd bid to take her on a date.

So like someone would.

And did she get the money?

No, no, no.

The money goes to charity.

Oh.

So they do it.

They do it with celebrities now, like an evening with Burt Kreiser.

And I think I did one, actually.

I did one.

And I went to dinner with a family, but they got to bid on whether or or not they, and so you raise like $10,000.

And the idea is they want to meet you.

They want to spend quality time with you.

And then they bid.

The money goes to charity.

I've done it before.

I've done it to, but I love that.

I love auctions.

I fucking love auctions.

Yeah, that's what I said.

I knew it.

I knew you would know.

And by the way, just to be clear, that is exactly how slavery went also.

Wow.

Yeah.

Isn't that crazy?

It's, yeah, I've seen it like in the De Chappelle skates and shit.

Yeah, I mean, it's fucking insane.

Yeah.

But, but yeah, those auctions, it's an old school thing.

they used to have kissing booths

yeah i never understood it and it been on my mind every time i see it no no think about that though they had kissing booths yeah think about remember that i remember that growing up and then where you go and you go line up and everyone would kiss the chick

so they grew

up so they and she'd kiss everyone

yeah i remember like these are all i just remember seeing these in movies like yeah isn't that crazy a kissing booth and another thing before we go to i want do you know what cheers came from no all right so look before I tell you, I want y'all to look it up.

Cheers came from two leaders.

They was on the boat, you know, back then.

And they had beer in the glass.

And cheers came from, they wanted to trust each other, not to poison me.

So my liquor getting yours and mine getting yours.

That's where cheers came from.

For real?

Look it up.

I can't read.

It doesn't say that at all.

I don't think she on the wrong one.

No, it says cheers.

No, no, it's trust me.

Cheers began began as a french word meaning face that evolved mean joy it's later done cheers with beer uh cheers because like yeah see like cheers like they take

beer origin still says the same thing wait tell how about this how about this uh clinking glasses

clinking glasses that's the right one yeah yep yep that's what you meant yeah yeah yeah the tapping of the glass yeah and there's cheers that's crazy i love the little shit like that like do you know those guys that are on instagram where they're like in 1952, and then they tell this story.

And that's how we got let the cat out of the bag.

Yeah, yeah.

I love making those up.

Yeah.

Well, I'll see if I see if give me something and I'll tell you how it happened.

Okay.

Okay.

Uh uh uh uh uh uh oh that um what is it saying out there?

I know I got a good saying on there

Oh, what did that if your friend jumped off a bridge, would you jump off a bridge too?

Why was that a big saying?

That's so crazy.

It's because when they built the San Francisco Bridge, the guy that built the bridge, he had a twin brother.

Take me through there.

I can't wait to use that.

I can't wait to use that.

The guy that built the San Francisco Bridge, his name was Ricky Armand.

He had a brother named Dickie Armand.

They built, they each started on one side

of the river, of the

strait.

So one started here, one started here, and they started building until they met in the middle.

And when they got in the middle, Ricky said, whoever gets there first jumps off.

Whoever gets there first jumps off.

And it turns out when they got to the middle, they met.

They couldn't tell who got there first.

So they both jumped off.

And we lost both guys that built the San Francisco Bridge.

And that's how we got the phrase.

If your friend jumps off a bridge, would you jump too?

Because then it ruins everything.

And now no one builds bridges anymore.

Right.

And we needed them to.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

And you just made that up.

Yeah.

You know how to lie so good to be in a a relationship.

That's scary.

I'm not going to lying like that.

Watch this.

Asked me where I...

Almost get Leanne up here.

So one time, Leanne found a pair of jeans in my bag, a pair of women's jeans in my bag.

And she goes, who's are these?

And I was like, I don't know.

No, I wasn't lying.

But I get so uncomfortable that I start laughing and it looks like I'm lying.

Right.

And I started going, I don't know.

Right.

Like, or it could be, you don't know because you don't know which chick it was.

I do, but I don't know.

I really honestly didn't know how they got in there.

And I was like, I don't know.

And then she started, started going, stop laughing.

I go, no, I really don't know.

Yeah.

So when I, and I am so bad that I start giggling and laughing.

And then it turns out they were her friend Julie's jeans.

Do you remember that story?

And her friend Julie, Leanne put them on, wore them.

And then her friend Julie goes, whose jeans are those?

Are my jeans?

Leanne goes, these are the ones in Burt's bag.

And Julie, the whole time, was like, fuck him.

He's a liar.

He's a liar.

Divorce him.

Take his money.

So she set you up.

She's here?

No, she was a friend of ours is she still around yeah i think so she lives in missouri yeah oh yeah i'm from kansas city you gotta watch out for people out there

she's from like old school missouri too yeah me too really yeah i thought you're from kansas city yeah kansas city missouri yeah are you from outside kansas city uh like yeah so you got kansas city then you got kansas so can't wait are you from kansas no kansas city because that's the that's the don't get that i learned that when i was 13 years old yeah don't make that never that up yeah why is it different i I don't know.

I just found out that Louisiana and Baton Rouge are two different things.

Don't fuck that up.

I thought that was.

I'm performing in Baton Rouge.

Is that bad?

Just don't say, was that Louisiana?

Like, make some noise, Louisiana, and say Baton Rouge.

For real?

Yeah.

Why?

Because it's just, it's a respect thing, and it's like, this is where we come from.

It's from.

You need to get him on the show.

I got, I'm obsessed with him.

I did a deep dive on,

I mean, I don't know if this is real, but they said there was this.

So, one thing

we can't do on the podcast

is talk about what you heard.

And did you hear the first sentence that you said?

You listen to what the fuck you was about to say.

Anybody could be next.

Just stop.

Me are you.

I couldn't hold that one back.

Yeah.

So

your favorite cereal is what?

I never understood Captain Crunch.

Like, and why tricks are for kids?

It's like, why they never let him eat the cereal?

I never, it's like, a lot of cereal characters was very weird when you look back at it.

Like, silly rabbit, tricks are for kids.

Like, is it his cereal brand or what?

You guys got it.

And then like, Frost and Flakes.

Like, Frost and Flakes was weird.

They have no more cereal characters.

Look what you just said.

I'm not a street guy, but I know the street rules.

I'm sharing them.

I'm not a street guy, but I know the street rules.

Have you hung out with Chappelle?

I've never got to.

I got to see him.

He's like, you're like, this guy.

And you just say that.

And I was like, what?

Tell me more.

And he just goes on about his day.

But I think he does that to everybody.

He knows how to make you feel good.

He does, man.

Yeah, he knows how to make you feel good.

Cat does too, I think.

Yeah, I think they're both like this.

I think Cat will probably be nonchalant.

If he ain't got nothing to say, he's not gonna make

okay.

Like, if I ain't got nothing to say, I ain't gonna say, but De Chappelle will go out his wave.

Like, oh, like, he, he could, but oh, yeah, you remember, you see my video?

Like, yeah, I say, I love it.

Keep going, yeah, like that.

Go about that, never seen your shit.

Yeah, so that's like, you know, this is the good.

What about Kevin?

Kevin Hart is somebody that got a big Lingo and he knows how to talk and he will lose you in the conversation.

Kevin Hart got so many words.

Let me tell you something.

He got so many different versions of him.

And it is so

like he's so intelligent.

I see why he is where he's at.

And then it's like, what's that called?

If he could be animal, the armadillo, where he can just blend in, what is that?

As a chameleon, yeah, same thing.

No, not at all.

Yeah, it is.

Same same.

You're right.

Yeah.

Armadillos.

Armadillos and chameleons are like, they're like alligators and crocodiles.

Same same.

So wait, can you explain?

Can you explain?

I don't mean this shitty, but like the eyeshow Speed and the Kai Sonat, do they stream?

Do they

streaming all the time?

I'll tell you the backstory.

Kaisanette is somebody that started streaming from New York.

And when he blew up, a rat, you could do rap, Cassinette rap.

He was in New York, and a rat ran across his room.

And that blew him up.

And he kept going, and he kept, he felt embarrassed because he was in New York and he wanted to stream.

Look, you see it.

And that was him.

That was his room.

You see how?

Oh, my gosh.

And when that blew up, everybody in the chat was like, oh, my God.

Like, and he felt embarrassed.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

And that moment made him, like, from what I know, it made him feel bad, but he kept going.

Cause he's like,

I wanted to stream, but the environment I am, it was bad.

I didn't want to, like, and his family was loud.

He said his brother and sister.

So he kept going.

And that moment, him going through that pain made everybody watch this glow up.

So that moment kept going.

I so speed is somebody that was.

Streaming that was blowing up shit in his house.

Blowing up shit like fireworks, everything, just blowing shit up.

I show speed is is really fast, right?

Yeah, and and he and it all started gaming right no oh really they'll do it like do I saw speed biggest moment think he put his uh

and it just like kept

uh

uh-oh

oh but

He just go in that room.

Oh, this thing.

Yeah, he was in that like a tent behind there

and he just, oh, you could just put house on fire.

But I think his house got on fire when he did the fireworks, really,

like, yeah, he just put it on fire, like,

yeah,

he just did shit like this in his room,

and he also is very fast, right?

Yeah.

Imagine hearing your kid in there doing that.

And then walking in and seeing this.

Yeah, he.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Can you imagine watching this live?

Yeah, that's what they look at the comments.

You see the comments?

Holy shit.

Oh.

Oh, that had to catch this room on fire.

Yeah.

Where did it go?

Where did it go?

Oh, my God.

Those are all fireworks.

Yeah, he's gonna do it, light them all up.

And he lit it like where stuff started getting on fire, yeah.

And that was like moments.

So he was just oh, that's the fucking fire department.

Yes.

So hold on, hold on.

Can I ask the dumbest question?

Uh-huh.

Like, if I, if, if me and you had done this live, streamed it, and then I had planned to like bring in a Cobra,

then that would go viral.

It's not necessary, like,

because certain people.

But if I brought in a bunch of poisonous snakes yeah it wait when when stuff like that you can see the organic seat where i just want to do what i want to do and then you can see people that want to force it it's like you you took your shut up because it feels good to you you know i mean comedians are probably trying to do what you do and it's like i see him make it but you just you was just and that's what we call the original so i feel like the real understand and it's the energy in the air that original oh yeah the original okay they just feel original that is that felt like i got excited he just wanted to see it yeah all right so this is him running and tom brady can't believe how he so he really is fast, right?

Yeah, uh-huh.

Wow,

and so now do they walk around because I forget who he's on tour, but do they walk around with like a backpack and a camera, yeah, straight batteries, and it streams live wherever they are.

Cassinet did a 30-day straight live and invited guests over, but 30, and you could see him does it, it was in 30 days, and he then did it three times already.

He does it like in October, I believe,

or last month.

Wow.

The marathon.

They do the sleepovers

at Kevin Hart's house.

Yeah.

But overall, it's just respect to them because they created something and it's letting kids know that you can do this behind the screen.

Remember, back then, it used to be wrong to be a geek on a computer.

Remember when I grew up, it was like...

Knowing computer stuff, you was just like a geek, glasses.

So I love what they're doing because it get people to like, if you don't want want to get a nine-to-five you can be entertained behind a computer screen Wow, that's really crazy And it's opening the door for people to you know not be on the streets and you know trying to get a job and you can actually get behind so Cassinet and speed has made the younger generation get more into let's do the internet and they're not they're not getting fucking wasted and smoking

they're just going out and doing like I watch I watch

It's so funny how they showed up and like I say this about Nicki Minaj.

I remember when Nicki or no Cardi B.

When Cardi B came out like look up the longest girl streaming she's still streaming right now i think she's been streaming for like three years what longest stream ever i think it's still going on twitch or something

uh she's still streaming right now i think you can click on it you can look it up twitch and so she sleeps and stuff right yeah yeah she just like her watch her sleep yeah yeah they will yeah

right here i think she's still live right now yeah she's still live right now I don't know where she at right now.

Holy shit.

How long they say she's been on stream?

It's like four years.

So I don't know where it's at.

She probably stepped out, probably took a shower.

But yeah, she's been streaming.

So then is that something?

And that's the comments over there.

How many people watching her right now?

You can scoot over.

How many?

The red, the red bodies right there, the number, I can't see it.

160.

Yes, 189 people.

So it's different than Instagram Live.

Yeah, it is different.

And so, and it's on Twitch?

Yeah.

So then you get a Twitch account.

And then I saw the dude who just came over and was like, this is who?

Oh, yeah, nate jackson yeah came over and he had a backpack yeah and a thing and then i saw someone doing it and it was crazy they had a camera and a phone here and they were following the guy around and i was like streaming watching it live he started streaming nate got so much money does he yes really he's be gifting people like like five thousand dollars on there because you can give people like casino just gift is

just so like he's santa clause so kai sanat you go on and you might get people paying him yeah like

a brand is paying him.

No, no, no.

Kids are giving him money.

Subbing up.

It subs, but it's entertainment for you to show us your life.

Just imagine if we could just watch your life all day.

It'd be boring as fuck.

It's no different from Netflix.

You know what I'm saying?

How we pay that monthly and we get to watch.

So the fact that you're entertaining.

So if I was like, so if I was like, yo, I'm going.

Okay.

So theoretically, if I was like, I'm going to go streaming.

Who's that part?

Who's the first person?

Look at that 57.

He got 57,000 people watching him.

Out to the side.

I don't know who that is.

But he's live right now.

And he's just watching.

He's watching playing soccer.

He got 57,000 people watching him.

You know how many people that is for a show?

How long have he been live?

Four hours?

Can I ask you?

He didn't make like $10,000.

Can I ask a really remedial boomer question?

But why would someone...

Like, are they what, is he funny?

It ain't all about that.

Just imagine,

it's no different from YouTube when you put your interviews out.

But they get to streamline.

Your interviews are funny.

I'm saying

everybody got their own definition of what they like.

Because I ain't going to lie.

If I could see Dave Chappelle live on stream, I'll watch his stream.

Because I'm like, what the fuck he does outside of this?

Yeah, I probably would.

Just imagine your favorite player.

If Chappelle would stream live out of his barn that he goes,

you would watch it.

And you would watch Erica Badu go up and play music.

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Chappelle would never do that because

it would ruin his, the thing that makes him Dave.

Yeah, some people feel like that, too.

Yeah.

God dang.

Just imagine if fans could watch Beyonce Live for a week.

Imagine if you got a bunch of telephone.

Just imagine if you got a peek into Beyonce's life where she was, she'd wake up and they're like, listen,

we need to look at jewelry today for the fucking

golden globes.

She's pulling in like a million people just watching.

That's all like, you know, and that's why you got to appreciate everybody that's doing something.

You know what I'm saying?

Like right now, my buddies in Saudi Arabia, Arabia are performing for a bunch of princes

and the guys that started 9-11.

And how cool.

And he was with a lion the other day.

They drugged the lion as Peter would be through the roof about it.

But

the friend of mine, I won't mention his name.

I don't want to get him in trouble.

But he, but if he was streaming live, hanging out with the people.

Oh, fuck yeah.

And then, so, and then Kai Sanat, and I show Speeder so big that people go, I want to be on his live stream.

Yeah, yeah.

So like, yo, can you come?

They had a moment yeah it's called they got a thing called

clip forming and clip forming is where

like right now i will say some crazy and i know somebody from this interview is going to take that moment and make it look bigger than that i was like i'm like what's your problem with me you got an attitude yeah and then they're like they're gonna take that moment like Marco crashes out on you and they're gonna see on TikTok and they're not gonna watch so full interview they're like oh yeah I always thought he was weird why would so they just gonna start commenting instead of watching the full interview oh that's the oh oh yeah i've had so people do stuff when they walk up on speed and they'd be like that's like man like come on man you want to my sister or what because she's been dming you and they're going to clip that moment stranger walks up on speed and say you want to his sister and that moment is clipped whoa it's like clip forming so you got to watch out for so then you also got to just trust that the guy you're watching look at where is he there in spain i don't know he's everywhere like speed is have you met ice show speed uh i met him but i feel like he he's it's one of them ones where you just got to respect like i understand how your life is.

I'm just thankful to say, hey.

What about Kai?

Yeah, I got to meet him.

Yeah, I did Streaming University.

Yeah, Kai's a good guy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I feel like me, everybody's just good in their own way.

So, yeah.

But he's great.

I love that he's sharing his power.

And a lot, like, from you, Kevin Hart, when you can share your platform and be able to create, like, even with the YouTube.

I mean, who's the white streamers?

Aiden Ross.

Aiden Ross.

Yeah.

Oh, Aiden Ross was on Breakfast Club.

Yeah, yeah.

No, no,

that was the other guy on Breakfast Club.

I forgot his name.

They were shitting on Aiden Ross, and he backed up Aiden Ross.

Yeah, yeah.

No, Aiden Ross was talking.

It was another guy on there that they.

God damn it.

I forgot his name.

I've seen him on a bunch of clips.

You can do Breakfast Club, Aiden Ross, Breakfast Club.

Yeah, him right there with the glasses.

Him.

Yeah, that guy.

I know that guy.

Yeah.

It was like an incident that happened on there.

Neon, Neon, Neon.

I knew it.

I knew it as soon as you said it.

Yep.

And so Neon's a streamer.

Neon started off.

I remember Neon.

You see with the green screen?

I remember that Neon.

Whoa.

And he just been going and going.

And look how big he is now.

It's just like you never know when your moment is.

It's like it's no different from basketball.

You just got to keep going and putting in the work.

Your life will change.

That's so crazy.

And look at him.

Could my wife become a streamer?

How old is she?

54.

Oh.

Yeah.

Like if we streamed her, you saw her life and she went and got like a full body CAT scan and all the fun things that menopause women do.

Yeah.

Unlike she woke up early and talked to the animals.

Yeah, that's me, you know, everybody got a fan base.

So the people watching.

So wait, how old are the people watching?

By the way, I love that I'm interviewing you.

If I was dreaming, going like, wait, how old are the people watching?

Oh, you just never know.

Because so many people are you bringing so many people to this new app.

That's like you.

Like, you can bring your older crowd of people.

Like, you know, from 78.

They'd be like,

that was kind of rude.

My dad, my, my, my demo, I looked at my crowd the other day and I was, I actually wondered, I don't think they use the internet.

Yeah.

Like, I don't think they're on TikTok.

I really don't think they're on TikTok.

I think they use Facebook a lot more than Instagram.

And, and I think they don't care about Twitter or X.

I think X is dead.

So I started looking at my fan base and I was like, and then I was talking to someone.

I was at the airport.

And I'm talking to this guy about some shit going on in comedy.

And he was like, and it was like the hottest it was like it was all over it's all over instagram it's all over twitter or x or whatever and i was like yeah you see that and he goes no i don't look at that man yeah he's like i'm a fucking i put roofs on yeah he's like you know i don't have time to be on my phone looking at and if i do i'm looking at like boats i want to boat yeah and you're like wow that's crazy the thing the business we're in is so about us and personalities and stuff the average person

the average person doesn't give a fuck they want to tap out and watch i show speed do a a backflip hop lie dive.

You get to see it live.

And the thing about seeing something live, you don't get to see the edits.

You just get to see it live.

Oh, wow.

Just imagine, like, you know, in streams, it's starting to affect some brands.

And like, that's why Netflix, they stream more.

Like, when something do it, it's big.

Like, oh, let's stream it because you're going to pull in instantly.

Oh, like the Tom Brady rose.

Yeah, like, yeah, you get to see it live.

And it brings in, like, it makes it feel like I'm there.

I'm seeing this shit live.

Oh, okay.

That's the business model.

Yeah.

So it's like, just imagine if you get to see this live right now, yeah.

Like, yeah,

it's the same as like a sports, and that's like the same setup they got, them the cameras that they got, and they got it live and and they go live.

And not only that, they're doing it live, and they're still dropping it on YouTube, and still getting a million views because some people didn't catch it live, so you're getting that.

So, if y'all ain't started streaming, you need to say what up, and when they come here, catch the moment.

And then, what's good about streaming is that they're clipping it right then and there and putting it on the internet.

Wow, because people are getting paid from clip pages, and how

uh, how do

How do they get paid as streamers?

Walk me through that.

So we're getting, okay, so like you,

Cassinette streams.

And when he streams, you can give like $10.

So that's how they get paid.

$80, $50, $500.

So Cassinette, shout out everybody.

Like, oh, shout out to,

you know,

Blake for the 50 gifted.

And he...

It's getting him to say your name.

Like, fuck, yeah, I'm going to send him another 50.

So it's like the recognition.

Like, imagine they should pay off saying your name on a stream full of all those people.

So people, oh, babe, shout out to Burt, man.

His fucking special is awesome.

Oh, I'm gonna do that to Kai Sanat.

Yeah,

so I can do that and be like, yo, yo, Kai, it's Burt Kreiser.

Here's 150 bucks.

Yeah, mention my special.

And they're like, and then fans are like, who is he?

Like, who is he?

And then you got a fan base setting, but that was Burt Cron.

That's

why they got to be like, I don't know if their fan, his fan base.

No, no, no, no, no.

Who's this fucking boomer in here?

No, no, no, no, no.

They're definitely not.

I mean, if anybody, I will say something.

Just one.

It would be one person.

And

I'll let him.

Well, he's a fucking legend.

He's killing it.

So,

you know.

You didn't even notice that I said walk me through that.

Oh, yeah.

Take me through there.

Oh, fuck.

I said it wrong.

Yeah.

See?

Take me through there.

You know.

All right.

Take me through there.

Anything else real quick?

No, I just want people to realize

that your time is never over.

And it's just, it just take one person to be a good person.

So I just want people to realize that to receive good, you got to do good.

And appreciate bad days to appreciate good ones.

What was the other thing you said is don't let anyone be in control of

like your give a fucks, your mindset, your power, because it feels it shows sign of you know weakness that somebody can come and like put you in a mood.

Nobody can put me in a mood, you know, but my kids.

And I had them.

So if it ain't nobody you created, it's all right.

I don't have to live in this moment forever.

Pull up his tour dates real quick.

Are you on tour right now?

Yeah.

So I got that.

I got my show launching, relaunching.

And then

Do you do seasons of

your podcast?

I think it's that link right there.

I need to get...

No, is it that one?

That's Ticket Master.

I got some new ones coming.

Oh, no, that was...

Okay, let's get off that one.

All right.

Just look on my Instagram page.

Funnymarco.net.

Yeah, so I think I got a show in Texas coming up.

Yeah, see, look, it's all over.

I got to get that together, right?

When you search it, that's all I got to get together.

It's okay, y'all.

Y'all ain't got to look it up because it's like, it's all over.

In a minute, she's going to end up pulling up.

Go with your Instagram.

uh funny marco okay go find him on funny marco uh i'm so glad i met you you know like a year ago i'm so glad i met you and i i always say i'm not comfortable with like in the interviews like you or caleb or like uh i'm i'm always uncomfortable and i had so much fun doing it yeah and i think about you so much because my daughters say type shit so much

and uh and then when this got set up i was so fucking excited man no so there you go

is that you yeah that's me i was james brown for for a little bit.

Oh, yeah.

Tacoma Comedy Club.

Yeah, so I'm almost done.

I think I'm at St.

Joe, like right there.

I don't even know how to say the other state.

West Nyack?

Yeah, I don't.

West Nyack.

Is it Brookfield?

That one that's next?

San Jose Improv, I'm assuming.

That's the one I clicked on.

Brookfield Improv.

Where's Brookfield Improv?

Yeah, I think that's Dallas.

Is that Dallas?

Oh, they move it?

Yeah, I'm not sure.

Syracuse Funnybone, that's a great mall.

Bring your kids.

I get excited with knowing dates and all that.

I just show up.

Like, knowing dates and where I'm going, it's a lot.

Oh, Milwaukee?

Yeah, Milwaukee.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah.

You're going to love it.

Have you been to Milwaukee before?

Yeah, I have.

Yeah, I have.

That's a great, that's a great club.

Yeah.

It's new.

It's newer.

I just did Milwaukee the other day.

Oh, it is newer?

Oh, I ain't did that nowhere right there.

It's newer for me.

I'm

an old man.

Yeah.

Hey, I'm not going to say bye.

Look at my meet and greets.

Click on a girl.

Look at how many people we can.

Look at.

Let me look at the girls.

Holy shit.

Do you just have girls come to your show?

Yeah, I got a lot of girls.

Oh, my God.

There's your Asian one.

Yeah.

Well, you have a lot of fucking women coming to your show.

Yeah.

Yeah, a lot.

Show my meet and greet.

A lot of shirtless dudes.

We want them now.

Hey, yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you, too.

I'm not saying goodbye.

Oh, yeah, don't.

Just end it.

I plan on seeing you a lot in life.

Yeah.

This just ended.

Guys,

camera's just going to cut off.

It's a new thing.

We just don't say bye.

Yeah.

Bert and Tom, Tom and Bert.

One goes topless while the other wears a shirt.

Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine.

There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean.

Here's what we call two bears, one cave.