135. 50/50 Relationships, Revenge On Cheaters, & Dropping Friends (WWLD)

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Speaker 10 All right, let's do this. This week we're doing a what would Leo do.
I'm on the couch this time. I'm going to be popping around different locations while I'm figuring out filming in this apartment.

Speaker 10 But I do want to say I'm planning something big, as in a rebrand with the podcast.

Speaker 10 Aware and aggravated is going to come to an end soon, but it doesn't mean I'm stopping podcasting. I'm just switching a lot of things.
So just know that I'm plotting.

Speaker 10 And I figured for the remainder of Aware and Aggravated, we will just do what Would Leo do's until we flip. Get excited for the flip.

Speaker 10 I have not had an idea so good in so long. I'm so excited for it, but that's all I'm going to tell you for now.
Let's jump into what would Leo do. The first person is trying to get me in trouble.

Speaker 10 They asked my opinion on 50-50 relationships. I'm going to go ahead and just hit you out the gate with my views on 50-50 relationships.
Be a man. Why are you 50-50? And I'm old school, old-fashioned.

Speaker 10 I'm going to explain with situational things, but as a man, gay or not, you need to be providing. All the women in my life, I always take care of.
I always pay. I always make sure that they're good.

Speaker 10 A couple of women in my life, like my family, I help them a lot financially. But as a man, gay or not, That is part of your thing in this life is to be a provider.

Speaker 10 I don't agree with the whole 50-50 thing. My whole opinion on this is if you are not in a place where you can financially afford to have a partner, you should not have one as a man.

Speaker 10 I've been like that in the past. If I was broke or if I didn't have enough money to be able to treat my partner how I wanted, I wasn't looking for one.

Speaker 10 But there's another angle that this goes into because a lot of girls like to get with guys and then like be with them during their grind and their struggle.

Speaker 10 That's a situation where I understand 50-50, but I don't agree with it.

Speaker 10 Like I understand why you would want to, but at the end of the day, the man should be doing what he needs to do, which is provide.

Speaker 10 But I am going to take into consideration the fact that if you want a partner and you're not where you want to be financially, you can still make it work.

Speaker 10 And even then, I still don't agree with the 50-50 thing. Like the woman should not be providing 50% of rent and bills and all this shit.
Like the man should be covering most of it.

Speaker 10 This is a tricky dynamic because if you're going to date somebody, this is something that a lot of girls don't take into consideration. If you're going after a guy for money, go get a guy with money.

Speaker 10 Don't go to a guy who's broke dick and can't really afford anything and be trying to get him to pay for everything. Of course, he's going to freak out about going to dinner all the time.

Speaker 10 But if you're going to go into a relationship genuinely to be with somebody, it's not that you go into it going, okay, we're going to go 50-50. The guy should be providing.

Speaker 10 The guy should be doing most of it. And if he's not in a situation where he can afford to pay for most of everything, you leave the ideas and the initiation of things to the guy.

Speaker 10 Let's say I was straight. If I was dating a girl and I was having like a down period financially, I would hope that the girl would understand things are tight.
Things are different.

Speaker 10 I'm still planning to pay for what I can and I'm planning to do things, but we're going to have to cut back on going to dinner. We're going to have to cut back on certain things.

Speaker 10 I'm still going to give you money to get your nails done, but we're not going to be going out to eat every night of the week. The thing is with 50-50 relationships, it should never be 50-50.

Speaker 10 The guy should always be doing more when we're talking about like normal guy-girl relationships.

Speaker 10 But if you're going to be with a guy when he's not financially in a place to take care of everything understanding that he's going to be in a different spot and not be able to afford a lot of things needs to be a basic consideration if you're dating a dude just for the money you're not going to care you're going to still be wanting to like make plans and do things and initiate if you're in a genuine relationship with a dude and you're trying to be with him through a hard time you give him the control of initiating things and going to dinners and going on dates and whatever extra he wants to do.

Speaker 10 He should be covering most of the bills. If he needs you to pitch in once in a while, that's like last resort is to go to your girl, in my opinion.

Speaker 10 But you leave most of the initiation of things up to him because the worst thing you could be in is in a situation where, like, if I was dating a girl and I'm down financially and I'm trying to rebuild and bitch just keeps coming to me every single night, let's go here, let's do this, let's do that.

Speaker 10 I want this bag, I want that. Trying to go to dinner, trying to go to all these dates, trying to go do all these things and buy all this crap.

Speaker 10 The worst thing is for when you have that pressure of like the person asking and trying to initiate everything when they're not the one paying you have to have the respect for the guy if you're in like a genuine relationship to let him call the shots and lead where he can afford to pay for things so if it goes from going out to eat five times a week to going out once a week you leave it up to him and being supportive through a guy's down period is fine as long as he is clearly busting his ass to get out of a bad financial situation.

Speaker 10 To be with a guy and be like, I'm going to ride with him through his tough time and he's not doing shit.

Speaker 10 Yeah,

Speaker 10 that's, that's dumb. Like let the actions speak louder than the words.
If he's saying, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that. You just got to ride with me.
You got to stick with me.

Speaker 10 If your actions are not matching that, if you don't see him busting his ass, if he's not sleep deprived and working nonstop, yeah, go ahead and get.

Speaker 10 Because that's going to turn into a 50-50 thing where he shames you for being disloyal or being a sugar baby or being a gold digger, all this and that.

Speaker 10 The only people who are crying about gold diggers are people with no gold to dig. It's always the broke people talking about gold diggers.
Shut up. The rich men don't care.

Speaker 10 They can afford to pay for your girlfriend.

Speaker 10 But in general, my opinion on finances in a relationship, the guy needs to be paying for most of it. There should be no 50-50.

Speaker 10 And if there is a period where it needs to go 50-50, it needs to be a very short-lived period, not a recurring or like expected thing. Guys who get pissy about paying for the first date, oh my God,

Speaker 10 girl, you best show up to the date with your strap on ready to go because he's a babyback bitch. Guys who are so tripping and like bugging about first dates, girl, just pay for the dinner.

Speaker 10 You know how much she had to pay to do all that makeup to look cute for you and buy the outfit and get ready for you? She invested too. Guys always pay for the first date.

Speaker 10 If they don't pay for the first date, spin the block, find you somebody new. My ear is ringing.

Speaker 10 Even the spirit guides agree.

Speaker 10 But also, one thing, like I said, if you're going into like a relationship with a guy to get money and be taken care of, this advice is not going to apply.

Speaker 10 But if you're going into a genuine relationship with somebody, when you go out to dinner with the guy, you match what he orders.

Speaker 10 So you pay attention to how much he's ordering and the type of food he's ordering. If he's ordering chicken, you don't order a steak.
If he orders a steak.

Speaker 10 Throw out the little vibe of like, oh, I'm thinking the chicken, like, or like, should I do steak or like, should I do chicken? I don't know. And let him decide.

Speaker 10 Let him make the call for what he's going to pay for. I hate going out with people who don't match what you order.

Speaker 10 Like I don't have an issue with like paying for dinners and shit, luckily at this point.

Speaker 10 But the worst thing is when you're on a date or something and you know you're going to take care of the bill and the person you're with orders a steak and lobster and all this and that.

Speaker 10 Like, girl, I got some chicken. Okay.
Cool it. That's just one thing to be considerate about.
If you're going to go into a sugar baby type thing, that's a whole different way to enter it.

Speaker 10 Whole different set of rules.

Speaker 10 But if you're going into a genuine relationship, that's where my advice is coming in here that's what it's for 50 50 no and if it's gonna happen very short time frame that's it okay the next thing i want to talk about a lot of people wrote in about how to get over certain traumas and i don't like the whole thing about trauma being so like trendy right now like every single thing everybody talks about is trauma like they get your coffee wrong at like the coffee shop and everybody's oh my god it was so traumatic i had to start my day without my coffee how out of touch are you you had to go through your day without your coffee oh my god you're so strong how did you function

Speaker 10 the

Speaker 10 okay enough of making fun of people this whole like dainty era everybody's in like the men with the van cleave bracelets oh my god if a guy is wearing a van cleave bracelet he's in his prissy puss era don't with him but when it comes to healing from trauma the whole definition of trauma is literally like destroyed and so watered down because like I said, people throw it around so often.

Speaker 10 Like, oh my God, this was traumatic. That was traumatic.
Like some things actually aren't that traumatic, but I also have to take into consideration the different types of people.

Speaker 10 So something that I would consider not traumatic, other people would consider traumatic. So it's going to come to like the different type of person you're dealing with.

Speaker 10 But if you think back to the old days, like long, long time ago for human beings, Alex Hermosi talked about this on a podcast and it's a very good point.

Speaker 10 He said, back in the old days, like before there was like any society or civilization, it was normal to have your parent slaughtered in front of you and deal with death like happening all in front of you all the time.

Speaker 10 That was a normal thing. That wasn't like a traumatic experience for most people.

Speaker 10 Sure, it was very life-changing and upsetting back then, but now for someone's parent to be slaughtered in front of them is one of the most traumatic things that you can fucking go through.

Speaker 10 It's just the perspective of what is considered trauma and what is not

Speaker 10 because of what is normalized and what is common and going on in like today's society. things now

Speaker 10 that people consider traumatic, people a hundred years ago would piss themselves laughing. Oh my god, your vape died.
You couldn't, you couldn't smoke nicotine for two hours.

Speaker 10 And people would get to tweaking and freaking the fuck out like it's the most traumatic thing. Or like a waiter at a restaurant.

Speaker 10 If someone's vegan and they bring someone else's steak to the table by accident, the vegan would be like, oh my God, it was so traumatic. Like the way that TikTok is now.

Speaker 10 Like people getting misgendered is like a big trauma for them every single day.

Speaker 10 Or like people go to the store and they don't have their size in a pair of shoes or something and they freak the fuck out.

Speaker 10 It just ruins their whole day because they didn't have their size and something. They just break down and cry about it.
Imagine people who never had a store to go to to shop.

Speaker 10 What's traumatic for you is not actually traumatic. It's just this babied ass society we live in now.

Speaker 10 That's where a lot of perspective will hit you is like understanding what is traumatic and what is not because people act like after trauma, you have to have this extensive healing period like you have to heal from what happened to you a lot of people don't need to heal from a certain shit like certain things are not traumatic but they consider them as traumatic so they think that they need to heal or they need a phase to heal from it a lot of that is like speaking your power away and making you feel like you're a lot weaker than you actually are there's a lot of you don't need to heal from you move forward from it like me with my car accident i had two days in between the car accident and going to my next shows to do them there was no time to process nothing there was was no time to heal and get through it.

Speaker 10 You just have to keep going. And that's where you can see the clear distinction between people who water down the phrase of trauma and traumatic experiences.
Look at their ability to just quit.

Speaker 10 Certain people are so like cushy and like, I don't want to say privileged, but like they have the privilege and the ability to quit something or stop.

Speaker 10 You will see a big difference in yourself when you don't give yourself the option to quit or to stop.

Speaker 10 A lot of people feel like they need to stop and like heal from something, but if you just accept it for what it is and go forward and do what needs to be done, you stay with the task at hand and you recommit, you'll realize it wasn't actually that harsh or bad.

Speaker 10 And you do process it as you go toward the next thing and the things you're working on. Like me with the car wreck and the whole almost dying thing.
I had to keep going.

Speaker 10 I didn't have an option to quit or to stop in my own head. Everybody wanted me to call off the shows and everybody on my team was preparing for me to call them and be like, hey, cancel them.

Speaker 10 But I didn't. I knew that I committed to you guys and a lot of people paid money to come to the shows.
I was going to give you that experience. A lot of people were looking forward to it.

Speaker 10 I was so excited and looking forward to it. There was no call it off in my mind.
I didn't even let myself explore that option. When I gave myself no out, the only option was through.

Speaker 10 And I went through it right after that experience.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I did make a lot of changes to my set because I changed a lot of things for the last five shows because a big near-death experience will jolt you into some new awareness.

Speaker 10 But I went through processing what happened as I kept going. It gets reflected in more ways.

Speaker 10 There's things that happen and you process it and you go through it as you go through the motions of doing what you were supposed to do. If you let that shit stop you, that's very pussy.

Speaker 10 I don't want to be rude because that's an extreme example. Like most people would have just called off the shows, but.

Speaker 10 That's my whole point is like certain shit is not actually traumatic. The car wreck was, but what I mean is like certain things that people think are traumatic are fucking not.

Speaker 10 Like getting fired from your job. A lot of people see that as a traumatic situation.
I don't, but that comes from my whole understanding of

Speaker 10 my skills and my trust in my ability to make more money and figure shit out. Breakups are a form of trauma.

Speaker 10 Death is definitely a form of trauma, but breakups are a big form of trauma because your whole life as you knew it is over and there's a big disconnection and separation with a person in your life.

Speaker 10 The same thing applies with work and jobs, like to get fired from a job, like you wake up one day and your whole life as you knew it is gone and you now have your entire livelihood like up in the air.

Speaker 10 I don't see that as traumatic. It is in a way, like a little.
I see breakups as more traumatic, but it depends on who you ask, what you think is trauma and what you think isn't.

Speaker 10 Like, do you need to go heal after you get fired from a job? No, you need to fucking go find a new one. That's my whole thing.

Speaker 10 Be careful what you label as traumatic and what is not traumatic because it's going to make you think you have to go through this whole healing era. You don't.
You just got to keep going.

Speaker 10 You got to see what you're dealing with, face it. Okay, I was fired.

Speaker 10 I'm going to go find a new job. I have bills to pay.
I don't have an option to stop. You see, it reframes everything in your head when you toughen the fuck up a little bit.

Speaker 10 All right, next person said she has narcissistic parents who have emotionally abused her before, and she's now in a place where she has the opportunity to move out. She goes, Should I?

Speaker 10 Yes, absolutely. I do want to check everybody with the whole narcissist thing.
Every single person seems like every one of their exes was a narcissist.

Speaker 10 Like everybody just throws that term around and people are like, oh, my parents are narcissists when really they're just tired of your bullshit and they're calling you out on your excuses and they're calling out how you're like brainwashed by social media, thinking that certain things are right or valid when it's bullshit, you're being a puss.

Speaker 10 So a lot of people will think that their parents are being abusive. Some actually are.
And some are abusive in a way that they neglect you.

Speaker 10 And neglect is the worst type of abuse because you cannot heal from what is not done. That's a bitch.

Speaker 10 But if you have parents that are like a little bit harsh or rude, but you can tell that they love you, like tough love vibe. But I would say be careful with labeling your parents as narcissists.

Speaker 10 Like check are they actually abusive or are they just in a little bit more grounded, realistic approach from their generation? Because this generation is pitiful, girl.

Speaker 10 But the other part I want to hit on is like, should you move out? Yes, absolutely. Take the opportunity.
If you weren't ready, you wouldn't have the opportunity.

Speaker 10 You've been given this opportunity for a reason.

Speaker 10 And if you see that you're unhappy living with them and you don't like what you're dealing with, show yourself you'll do what it takes to get yourself out of a situation where you're unhappy. Do it.

Speaker 10 Figure it out. This is a normal human thing to grow up and move out.
Do it. There's a lot of life skills waiting for you.

Speaker 10 There's a lot of character development and a lot of grit you're going to get when you move out for the first time. You're going to to learn to respect your parents and appreciate them a lot more.

Speaker 10 Once you experience some of the responsibilities that they take off of you, you'll be a lot more grateful.

Speaker 10 Something that I had to go through is something that everybody goes through, but it will bring you and your parents together and make you guys tighter. This is the best thing for you.

Speaker 10 If you're unhappy and you have an opportunity, jump on it. 100%.

Speaker 10 Oh my God. Okay.
Next person said, hi, Leo. Hi.
So sorry for what you're going through. I was with my boyfriend for over a year and he always accused me of cheating.

Speaker 10 I recently did an STD screening and found out he gave me chlamydia by cheating on me.

Speaker 10 I gave him an opportunity to admit it to me before I told him I knew and he still lied until he couldn't anymore as his test result was positive too. I'm not gonna lie.

Speaker 10 I went to his house to smash up his car and we had a physical altercation. We haven't spoken since.
How can I level up from this and not want to be petty and ruin his life?

Speaker 10 He has a job that is illegal. She told me not to say what it was, but put the fucking pieces together.
She said, I'm so angry.

Speaker 10 He accused me all the time and then fucked another girl and even gave me an STD. I'm ready to go to prison over this, LOL.

Speaker 10 I fully get it. I fully like, I'm, I get it.
Like, I've been through situations where people have lied to me about having STDs before. Luckily, I never fucking caught one, but this is something.

Speaker 10 Be appreciative. It was not a lifelong STD.
If it was a lifelong STD, I would tell you to fuck his shit up and ruin his fucking life.

Speaker 10 That is something that people don't need to be playing with is spreading STDs, especially things that you cannot cure or get rid of.

Speaker 10 I feel like that is fair to punish people how you see fit if they give you something lying to you that you can never get rid of that harms your health and makes you deal with certain pain or certain health issues like immunosuppression.

Speaker 10 These things are not a joke and they actually piss me off. I think people should get a lot harsher consequences for giving people STDs with lying to them about them.

Speaker 10 I feel like if you attack someone or do what you see fit to someone because they gave you a lifelong STD, you shouldn't be punished punished for it. You fucked around with my life.

Speaker 10 I fucked around with yours. What's the issue? What's the problem?

Speaker 10 Donde estas, the issue.

Speaker 10 But on a serious note for your situation, since it wasn't a lifelong STD, this is something luckily you can cure.

Speaker 10 Take your antibiotics, take your ointment, whatever they prescribe you, just do it to get rid of it. I wouldn't say

Speaker 10 rat on him for what he does for a living and blow his life up. I say you fully abandon his fucking ass.

Speaker 10 Let him understand that these are the consequences of his actions and get as far away from him as possible. And now you understand my

Speaker 10 rigidity around having people tested before I touch them. I don't play with this and I don't take this lightly.
I'm very much a stickler about that.

Speaker 10 And now you understand, unfortunately, a lot of people who don't understand

Speaker 10 just don't have the experience to understand the risk you're taking. A lot of people are like, oh, it's rude to make people get tested.
No, it's it's not. I'll get tested with you.

Speaker 10 I want you to make sure I'm tested too. If I come to somebody and say, Let's go get tested, and you're offended, no, you should be fully on board.

Speaker 10 Because if someone comes to me and says, I want to make sure we're tested first, fully, I was already booking the appointment. What do you mean?

Speaker 10 I would be relieved that you're that rigid about your health, also, and what you're doing and not doing, and spreading and not spreading. I know this is hard, and it pisses you off.

Speaker 10 And this is a lesson learned. Take the lesson, Consider your debt paid.
Consider your karma paid in full. You learned your lesson.
Now get out. You want nothing to do with them again.

Speaker 10 If you want to move away to a new place, move. I love to move.
I love a dramatic exit. I love a dramatic like life change.
That's my thing.

Speaker 10 But all the anger and frustration you feel fully, fully valid to act on it. I would recommend not.
I'd say give it a month for you to calm down and understand

Speaker 10 your emotions are now yours to deal with and you need to get yourself through this situation with absolutely nothing to do with him no consideration for how he feels and what he's going through fully block it off pretend like he's dead because he did die to you who you thought he was is dead so go about it like that pretend he doesn't exist and do what you need to do sit with what you need to sit with feel it and do not act on it if you feel any urge of an emotion to act out of rage or spite or anything like that give it at least 24 hours at least i'd say give it a few days, but when you feel a certain like hit or urge, because you're thinking a certain shit, or you're like seeing the amount of disrespect you've actually tolerated, or you see how mad you are with the whole process of going to get antibiotics, secure what he gave you, it's going to hit you.

Speaker 10 The rage is going to hit you. The rage is fair.
It's valid, duh. But do not act on it.
Don't let the emotion dictate your actions. If you're going to take an action, do it fully logically.

Speaker 10 Don't let it be run by emotions from my own personal experience. The whole crash out trend going on, don't do it.

Speaker 10 Unless it's a lifelong thing, if someone murders your family, kills someone you care about, gives you something that's lifelong, crash out. Well, I don't know if I could condone that.

Speaker 10 And like, I don't know if I can promote crashing out. Don't do nothing illegal or at least don't get caught.
But like, If someone does something bad enough to me, I'm crashing out fully.

Speaker 10 Fully, I'm freaking out. Crashing out means like you lash out and just go nuts and do whatever the hell you want.

Speaker 10 You do something bad enough to me, you give me a lifelong STD, I'm crashing out on you to what I see fit. That's just, you know, that's just the way life is.

Speaker 10 But I don't think this is a situation where you should crash out fully. Luckily, it's curable.
Do what you need to do. You're going to be more than okay.
Take this on the chin. Lesson learned.

Speaker 10 Karma, paid in full. Do not make the same fucking mistake again.
And do not have anything to do with this person at all.

Speaker 10 All right, next person. There's a couple of people that asked about, should I take back a cheater?

Speaker 10 No, you should never take back someone who cheated on you. You should never stay with someone who cheated on you.
If you're in a committed relationship and they cheat, no, it's done.

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Speaker 10 This person said, should I take back a guy who cheated on me? He's now going to therapy and has removed the other women from his life. I'm going to clock that.

Speaker 10 He's saying he wants to better himself and try again with me. Do cheaters ever change?

Speaker 10 Shara Seven said I should just keep him since he's a rich guy and make him pay for stuff till I get a new man, LOL. But what would Leo do?

Speaker 10 I wouldn't disrespect myself that bad enough to stay with someone. People are never going to respect you if you take them back after them cheating on you.
That's the ultimate disrespect.

Speaker 10 He's never going to respect you. It's not worth the money.
Go make some money or get with a guy who has money who hasn't fucked you over already. Or tell him you want a fat makeup gift.

Speaker 10 Get you a Rolex. Get you a Birkin.
Get you something you can resell. Tell him you want a makeup gift deal breaker.
If you don't buy me this, I'm out. If he buys it, you still leave.

Speaker 10 But if he doesn't buy it, you have your answer. The hell? But the part I really want to clock is him saying he's going to therapy and has removed the other women from his life.

Speaker 10 Now, we're going to talk about temptation and removing things that you have impulses for.

Speaker 10 If you have to remove all of the women so you're not enticed to be with them, you don't have control over yourself. He's not controlled over his urges to be with other women.

Speaker 10 He's simply removing the temptation. It's like with food.
Do you actually have control over food if you have to take all the bad shit out of your house and your only option is to eat good?

Speaker 10 Or is it actually control if you have all the bad food in front of you and you still choose to eat what is in line with what you want to eat? That's healthy. With him.

Speaker 10 Taking all the women away doesn't mean he's not going to cheat. It doesn't remove his lack of self-control.
It doesn't fix that. It just removes the temptation.

Speaker 10 Your issue is going to be every time the temptation pops up, he's not able to control himself when the temptation is there, therefore, no change.

Speaker 10 If you have to remove the thing, you don't have control over your urge to act against it. That's my whole take on that.

Speaker 10 He's gonna sit here and try and do anything he can to manipulate your ass to get back with you. Make sure you don't get back with him.

Speaker 10 But one thing I want to point out, and I have an episode talking about this, I forget which one it is, but with people, sometimes their biggest reassurance is to see how much you will suffer for them and how much you will tolerate and then get back with them because that is their ultimate validation of how much you love them.

Speaker 10 For this dude to see how bad cheating on you has hurt you and fucked you up, to see what you're going through, to see how hard he's having to work to get back to you, for him to see the pain that you're in and for you to say, I'll take it.

Speaker 10 and I'll swallow it because I love you and I want to be with you.

Speaker 10 That's going to be his ultimate form of validation to show that you will suffer for him a lot of people get their reassurance out of how much you will suffer to show that you love them and stay with them and they will subconsciously continue to hurt you anytime they want reassurance so that feeds them it hurts the out of you do not stay do not fall for it it's done i'm sorry it's done i have episodes on breakups go look them up i'll be here for you through podcast form You will be happy you left in the future.

Speaker 10 Give it a month and you will look back and be like, thank fucking God I left. Okay, the next person asked when to cut off a friend.
Like signs it's time to cut them off.

Speaker 10 The best advice I can give you for filtering out when it's time to cut someone off is look at your goals for your life or what you're working on or what you're trying to achieve.

Speaker 10 Is this person in support of those things or not? Are they going to encourage you or are they going to hold you back? Are they going to criticize you? Are they going to talk shit?

Speaker 10 And even if they're verbally supportive, are they an inconvenience? Are they constantly asking you to go out and asking you to go do things and spend money if you're trying to save it?

Speaker 10 Are they sabotaging you with the shit that they're asking you to do all the time? Does hanging out with them take away from your goals?

Speaker 10 Not in the sense of like, you need time away from working and having your life, but is too much of your time away from work starting to impede on your work time?

Speaker 10 The people around you should be in full support and make it easier for you to get to your goals, not harder. That's your biggest telltale sign.
It's time for them to go.

Speaker 10 Because what that does is when you clear out people who are not in support of what you're trying to do, it makes space for people who are. This is something I've experienced a lot in my life.

Speaker 10 And I'm going through it again, especially business-wise, but cut them out and then watch what takes their place.

Speaker 10 And when you show yourself and show the universe or God, whoever you believe in, that you will prioritize what you're focused on, support will be brought in when you remove the blockages. Trust.

Speaker 10 You make yourself a vibrational match to different shit.

Speaker 10 All right, next person said, I'm in need of some brutally honest advice here. I've got you, baby.
Can't to the right place.

Speaker 10 I was previously in a long-term relationship, which ended a few months ago. While I have, for the most part, reached acceptance, there is one thing that I'm struggling with.

Speaker 10 After time away from my ex, I now feel really hurt about many things I accepted as fine within the relationship, which in hindsight I now believe to be far below my standards.

Speaker 10 For example, there were several instances where my ex ignored my clearly set boundaries and repeatedly failed to support or stand up for me when i needed them what would leo do in terms of finding ways to get rid of my pent up hurt and frustration towards this person without causing a scene if you guys broke up your feelings and your emotions are yours to hold his are his to hold everything you feel is your responsibility now and it does not need to be shared.

Speaker 10 It doesn't need to be talked about.

Speaker 10 He does not need to know all of the things that you now are realizing were beneath your standards it's just going to be an attack and he's just going to feel criticized you don't need to voice that you need to make a list and make a note like a mental note even of all the things that you're realizing that were so disrespectful or so bad what allowed me to accept this

Speaker 10 and

Speaker 10 How will I have a keen eye out in the future to make sure this doesn't happen again?

Speaker 10 With every single thing that you realize pisses you off even more, you're learning what not to go for in the next relationship.

Speaker 10 So every every single time you think of a random thing, this is very common after a breakup is to think back on certain shit and your brain like puts pieces together and you remember one part from one story not matching the other.

Speaker 10 And then you think of the truth and like you remember, oh, he revealed it here. And you're like pissed off because you realize a lie that you.

Speaker 10 are just now finding out months after the relationship ended. A lot of things are going to connect.

Speaker 10 A lot of puzzle pieces are just going to fit inside each other all of a sudden and it's going to cause a lot of emotions. Those are yours to hold.
You don't need to reach out.

Speaker 10 You don't need to talk about it. You don't need to express how hurt you are.
You need to hold that. You need to have that.
You need you.

Speaker 10 And you need to get yourself through this with every single thing that you become aware of. You make note of it.
You keep track of it for the future. So you do not land in a similar situation.

Speaker 10 Again, that is a really big thing. The feelings and shit that come up after a relationship are not bad.
They're not crazy. They're not weird.

Speaker 10 Like you're not fucked up or weird and you're not ruminating on it because I know what you're talking about.

Speaker 10 It's like like sometimes you're just like doing something in the grocery store and it's like this random like flicker of like a thought will put the pieces together.

Speaker 10 And then you're like, oh, and you get pissed off. Fully normal, fully valid.
It's over. It's done.
You're realizing things. Okay.

Speaker 10 The situation was way shittier than I thought, but what can I look for in the future? What am I not going to put up with? What am I not going to tolerate?

Speaker 10 How did I end up in this situation dealing with this shit? What were all the steps and all the things that led to that? And why was I accepting it and considering it fine or or not a big deal.

Speaker 10 When you understand why you tolerated certain things, you no longer fear going into the next relationship because you have a full like roadmap of all the steps that got you to the point you don't want to be in.

Speaker 10 As soon as you see that first step come up again, you know to handle it differently. Learning is very simple.
To show that you have learned is same circumstance, new behavior.

Speaker 10 So if you can backtrack and see exactly how you got into the situation you're in and exactly how things got as bad as they are, and how you sacrificed your standards, and you made yourself be okay with shit that you weren't really okay with.

Speaker 10 If you can see how it happened, you know exactly how to prevent it in the future. You're not going to be so anxious, you're not going to shut down, you're not going to be scared of new relationships.

Speaker 10 You're going to feel prepared because you know how to spot it and you're ready. Like you've been burned once and now you know how to navigate the stove.

Speaker 10 You know how to see and spot when the red light is on. Yeah, I'm not even fucking touching it.
You can identify the signs of things from the past. So it sucks.

Speaker 10 It's going to be a process, but everything you're feeling and thinking of and ruminating on and the pieces that are connecting are going to piss you off. It's normal.
You're totally fine.

Speaker 10 You're not crazy. But the biggest thing I want to emphasize is your emotions are yours to hold.
You are broken up.

Speaker 10 He no longer was responsible for how you feel or what you realize or how he wasn't good enough. That is things for you to keep track of.

Speaker 10 to get confirmation and feel better every single day that you realize something new or think of something new, you are 100% certain and be grateful that you have a little bit more certainty you will never go back and you made the right decision to leave.

Speaker 10 And

Speaker 10 you now are so much more educated about how to navigate things in the future and have better relationships and not be fucked on like this again and deal with things without realizing they were as bad as they were.

Speaker 10 Hindsight is 2020. You're going to see a lot of things different once you leave a relationship.
You're going through it. It's totally normal.

Speaker 10 But I want you to look at this as these feelings and emotions and these thoughts coming up are here to prepare you for the future. They're not here to punish you.
You're not still caught up on it.

Speaker 10 You're not still fucked up over it. All these feelings are coming with messages.
Now listen to the message and keep track of it. How are you not going to end up in that situation again?

Speaker 10 That's what you do. You got this.
I'm so proud of you. There was more things you said, but I'm just so proud of you.
I'm like giddy because I'm like, oh, you got this shit.

Speaker 10 You're so aware of what's going on. You got this.
If you've made it this far in the episode, comment a yellow heart in the comments if you're watching this on YouTube.

Speaker 10 And if you're watching this on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, leave a rating. Five stars, please.
And then leave a yellow heart because I want to see who listens this far.

Speaker 10 But that is the last situation I'm going to cover for this episode of What Would Leo Do?

Speaker 10 If you want to be featured in the next one, it's all anonymous, but I will leave the link in the description where you can go in and submit what you want to say.

Speaker 10 It'll say WWLD submissions, and then I'll have the link. It's a little form on Google, and you just type in your situation and submit it.
And I'll see it and I'll read it. But let's keep doing these.

Speaker 10 You can send me some messy shit too. Let's have fun with it.
Send me some funny things. Send me some confessions.
Send me some like crazy stuff. I want to see like how nuts y'all really are.

Speaker 10 But also ask advice for the things that you want to know too or just my perspective on anything. And if you have any questions about me, you can ask those too.
Let's make this fun.

Speaker 10 Last few episodes of this podcast before we switch a route.

Speaker 10 Also for everybody asking about merch, yeah, some things got moved around, but it's still coming. Don't fear.
Fuck forgiveness is coming. That's the collection that's coming out.

Speaker 10 But I wanted to give you a little heads up on that because I'm plotting a lot.

Speaker 10 There's been a lot of changes with my life and also the people that i work with so just know i'm still working on it i'm still plotting i'm still scheming but that is all i've got for this episode if you like this video leave it a thumbs up like i said apple podcasts and spotify listeners leave me five stars baiting love you so much if you're new also hit subscribe Leave me a little comment too and tell me you're new.

Speaker 10 All my social media will be linked in the description. My TikTok, I've just been posting like the most random funny shit because I don't care anymore.

Speaker 10 But if you want to keep up with me there or anywhere else on social media, I'll link everything below. I'll also include the link to my app, Positive Focus.

Speaker 10 It sends you positive notifications throughout the day that are going to flip your perspective. Just cute little things that I needed the most when I was struggling.

Speaker 10 So if you're in a period of life where you feel like it's a little hard to think about the positive shit, I've got you. Download that and they'll come through every day.

Speaker 10 And there's also journal prompts on that. If you want to get into your subconscious and actually fix your life, I got you.

Speaker 10 With that, everybody, be safe, take care of yourself, and I'll talk to you guys next Sunday.

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