131. Exposing Fake TikTokers & Signs A Man Isn't YOUR Man (WWLD)

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Speaker 10 Hi, friends. This week I'm not holding back.
We're doing a what would Leo do? I haven't done one in a while, but you guys have asked me to bring it back. And for anyone that's new, hi.

Speaker 10 What would Leo do is where people write in and send me their situation and ask for advice, basically what Leo would do, but I end up just giving advice most of the time.

Speaker 10 But this week, I'm going to be kind of mean because people need it.

Speaker 10 All right, I got my little laptop. Let's jump into this.
First situation, T.

Speaker 10 Someone said, okay, so there's this white boy TikToker who goes to my university and he preaches like he's progressive and shit, sometimes feminist, yada, yada, and he gets a lot of praise.

Speaker 10 But in real life, I've met him and he's such an asshole and does not actually have those values.

Speaker 10 And it irritates me that he gets clout or attention from women online who hype him up, but he is genuinely not like that whatsoever in real life.

Speaker 10 My friends say I should like publicly call him out or something like that, but it's a little bit cringy. Anyways, what should I do?

Speaker 10 Welcome to it, babe. TikTok

Speaker 10 is the biggest bunch of bullshit you'll ever see in your life. I've met all of these influencers y'all follow.
There's people y'all don't even know that I've met that I've met.

Speaker 10 None of them match what they preach. None of these celebrities, none of these influencers.
This is something you just got to get used to.

Speaker 10 Let the little boy have his moment and just understand and get through your head. What people preach online is not accurate with what they believe or think in real life.
This is a game.

Speaker 10 Social media is a full game. And all the influencers you see and all these celebrities, this is a business.

Speaker 10 And you guys have watched my whole journey with all of this and you've seen me try to cling to my soul and hold it and keep it. And I have.
It's been a rocky ass road, but this is all a business.

Speaker 10 These people you see are businesses. They're not people.
Don't look at people on social media, like influencers, as like humans, and don't take what they say at face value.

Speaker 10 All the private conversations you and all your friends have, we all have them too. Nobody actually is posting besides me, what they really think.

Speaker 10 Let me not say no one because there are some people who talk about what they think and feel, but it's not fully. I don't even fully say everything I think and feel because of cancel culture.

Speaker 10 So you have to understand the kind of like bind that people on social media are in. You can't say certain things because one thing you say, people don't like.
Your whole life can be ruined over it.

Speaker 10 They just tried to cancel me like a month ago over a bunch of horses but people are gonna post what gets them accepted and loved and get followers and all that that's typical it's normal it's that's the norm for you to see the discrepancy babe let me wake you up to the real life of all this it's all horseshit it's all lies like these people are not

Speaker 10 truthful and honest with what they really think and feel. But you have to also take into consideration the level of harshness with saying anything people don't like.

Speaker 10 You can say one thing someone doesn't like and your whole family will be getting death threats. You'll get swatted.
Cops will be showing up at your place. It's happened to me multiple times.

Speaker 10 Why do you think I keep leaving the city? Why do you think you can't find me no more? I'm always running. I'm always moving.
Because people are so

Speaker 10 dumb. genuinely just dumb.
And I don't want to talk about cancel culture. I'll do a whole episode on that.
But with this boy, just let him have his little fame. Let him have his little moment.

Speaker 10 These people, you can't stop them all. But also with retaliating and exposing someone, someone, you have to look at what that makes you look like.

Speaker 10 Because if I were to get online and expose all of the shit that I know about all these people, it makes me look bad. I look like shit talker.

Speaker 10 I look like just like a bitter loser who is just like talking about a lot of people. Even when people were making up lies about me and withholding contacts and trying to cancel me, I have dirt on.

Speaker 10 all of them but you have to look at how does it make you look to defend yourself? Are you defending yourself or are you just trying to deplatform someone and expose someone?

Speaker 10 Because there are people who are going to look at you just like a liar.

Speaker 10 You do look like a clout chaser when you talk about other people because all the people who talked about me, that's how I was looking at them. Like you clout chasing little opportunistic rat.

Speaker 10 That's exactly how I was looking at all these people. But my point is, it doesn't benefit you to expose him at all.
Yeah, he's a fake. Yeah, he's a fraud.
So's everybody else.

Speaker 10 You just got to play the game and you just got to let him have his little moment. Who gives a shit?

Speaker 10 But the biggest thing when I say let them have their little moment, these people who promote crap and are not honest and are fake, it always gets exposed.

Speaker 10 So you're seeing someone being built up off of lies and bullshit and getting praised for it. God is building them up.

Speaker 10 The universe is building them up because they're taking them to a high point to drop them from to wake them up. So let them have their little rise.

Speaker 10 They will plummet and everything will come crashing down. Not that you should be like happy about that.
It's fine if you are. That's normal to watch people get their fucking karma.

Speaker 10 Like it's like, okay, cool. It is a little satisfying sometimes, but look at the people who are canceling me.

Speaker 10 That's my point is you don't want to be associated and responsible for someone's downfall because you do not ever. get a platform by deplatforming others and exposing others.

Speaker 10 And if you do have a platform where you're just exposing people, you're just a little shit talker for a living.

Speaker 10 All the people who were talking about me for a little five minutes of fame and some money and some clout, yeah, they got it, but they have no integrity and no one respects them and no one gives a shit about them.

Speaker 10 At the end of the day, you're going to attract people who feed off of negativity and bullshit. That's what these people with these platforms have.
You don't want to have that.

Speaker 10 You don't want to be someone who's just wrecking other people and ripping people down. So, my advice is just let him have his little moment.
Don't associate, whatever.

Speaker 10 Don't be responsible for their downfall because it's not going to be as good of a downfall if you just let God take care of it. The universe and God, I use those interchangeably.

Speaker 10 God protects people's secrets for a reason. He's planning for when things will be revealed and when things will be brought into the light.
Do not tamper with that. Trust that good always wins.

Speaker 10 Trust and keep leading with your heart. You don't need to do it.
The secrets are being hidden for a reason because, like I said, when they come out,

Speaker 10 it's going to have a way grander impact and a way bigger like hit and like decapitation than you can cause. So I know you want to fight for the truth and fight for what's right.

Speaker 10 None of this social media shit is the truth and none of it is right. Just to let you know, that's the norm.
You're going to be the crazy one.

Speaker 10 And also, it's going to repel people from you because no one's going to feel safe with you because you're running to social media to expose people. If that's what you do, you're not safe.

Speaker 10 No one's ever going to want to be around you or

Speaker 10 share a bag with you or do not do fun because you're a rat. That's what it looks like.
So don't do that. Let him have his little moment.

Speaker 10 Let God hold his fucking secrets in the dark until he's ready to shine light on them and make people pay for what they're doing. So that's my advice to you.
That's what Leo would do.

Speaker 10 And that's what Leo does and is doing. People are still running their mouth.
And you know what I'm not doing?

Speaker 10 talking about them or addressing them because what that does is signal you're on the same level You don't want to do that and you also don't want to make more controversy because he will get bigger from it So let him have his moment stay quiet.

Speaker 10 God will handle it All right, the next person said how would you handle having to see your ex you're in no contact with at the gym that you both go to six days a week

Speaker 10 Are we fucking for real with that one?

Speaker 10 Go at a different time or go to a different gym. Why are you doing that to yourself? Because it doesn't feel good going to the gym.
It does, actually.

Speaker 10 You're going to have to get used to not going to the gym with that fire under you of like, I'm going to make sure I look good.

Speaker 10 You have a big sense of motivation right now of trying to piss this motherfucker off and make him regret his life.

Speaker 10 So when I say switch to a new gym, it sounds like, eh, but there's an emotional attachment because you have this motivation to go every day.

Speaker 10 You have this motivation to get dressed and be hot and be on your shit and be eating right because you got somebody to like kick dirt at in a way, like subconsciously.

Speaker 10 So, there is going to be a sense of detachment and a sense of like, oh, I don't want to switch gems because you like that. It's totally fine to like it.
That's normal.

Speaker 10 Like, when you know your ex is going to be somewhere, you're going to show up to show out, and you have that every single day. So, you got a big boost with going toward your goals.

Speaker 10 So, it's not going to feel good to switch gems or go at a time where you intentionally don't run into him.

Speaker 10 But if you really want to get into some dark psychology and a power play, he's seeing you every single day at the same time. He's associating that with you guys trying to time it at the same time.

Speaker 10 If he's trying to time it because he secretly wants to see you and you stop going at that time, you just big dick him. You just took the upper hand.
He's going to be over here like, what?

Speaker 10 She didn't come. Don't go.
If you want to play like the manipulative game, play it right.

Speaker 10 Or be real inconsistent. One thing I do, I have six gym memberships I pay for every month.
I go to different gyms all the time. You can't catch me.
You can't ever pin me down in one spot.

Speaker 10 That's my own thing. But that's one thing you can do is sprinkle your presence in here and there keep him on his test

Speaker 10 keep him wasting his good outfits on the days that you happen to just not show up like play the game right or don't play it you know what i mean okay the next person asks do you believe once a cheater always a cheater my

Speaker 10 opinion on this is

Speaker 10 Once a cheater on you, they will always be a cheater on you. People can learn and change and grow and not cheat.
I've cheated before.

Speaker 10 I will never do it again because I've learned my lesson and I've grown from it. But if someone cheats on you in your mind, they're always a cheater.
So once a cheater on you, they're always a cheater.

Speaker 10 And that comes from a place of once you experience a betrayal and a rupture like that and a rupture in the trust with someone. There's no repairing it.

Speaker 10 It's like shattering a vase that's glass and trying to glue the pieces back together. It's always going to look fucked up.
It's always going to be leaking.

Speaker 10 It's always going to be wrong off, not in its original form. Cheating is one thing you cannot recover from, in my opinion, and from my experience.

Speaker 10 So, in the back of your head, even five years down the line, you're going to have rebuilt everything. You're going to have forgiven and forgotten and moved on.

Speaker 10 And they're going to be a little late getting home one night, or they're going to want to go out. And you're immediately in the back of your head going to be like, This motherfucker cheated on me.

Speaker 10 Why are you not home when you said you were? Check in their location. It's going to drive you nuts.
So, my opinion is: once a cheater, always a cheater with you? Yes.

Speaker 10 But in general, objectively with people, wants a cheater always a cheater? Not always. It's just situational with the relationship that you're in.

Speaker 10 If they've cheated on you, they're always a cheater in your head. In the back of your head, in the back of your head, they're always going to be a cheater.

Speaker 10 You're always going to be like, what the fuck are you up to? You're going to be going through their following, going through the photos they like. You're going to be a lunatic.
I get it. I know.

Speaker 10 Because we are one.

Speaker 10 Okay, next person said, I'm talking to this guy. And whenever I try talking to him consistently, he pulls away, which I obviously don't like.

Speaker 10 So when I take a step back, he just bombards me with messages. It's like I'm stuck in a cycle.
What does this mean? And what do I do?

Speaker 10 The person you're dealing with has a weird association with love. This is a really like deep thing mentally and emotionally.
So for consistency to be off-putting to someone,

Speaker 10 that means their association with love is that feeling of intermittent reinforcement or communication and things not being consistent. There's a sense of stability that comes from consistency.

Speaker 10 If you are not used to that in a relationship setting, or if you don't like consistency and it's off-putting, it's because you're attached to that dopamine hit of the curiosity, the questioning, the unknown, the spontaneous shit you get from people when you're in a relationship or you're talking to somebody.

Speaker 10 Are they going to text me? Are they not?

Speaker 10 When you anticipate all day and you're nervous and you got butterflies and you're like, got to shit a little, and then they finally text you and you get that hit of dopamine, it makes you feel like you're attached to that person.

Speaker 10 That's how they're operating with you. They're not someone that wants consistency and stability.

Speaker 10 They're someone who likes that rush, the chase, the back and forth, the dopamine hit, the inconsistency because of how it feels emotionally, mentally, and physically, because you do flush your body with dopamine when you're in an intermittent reinforcement pattern, or that is your relationship to being in relationships.

Speaker 10 If it's an intermittent reinforcement pattern, they're going to like that and they're not going to like that you're consistent. The day they're inconsistent and you match it.

Speaker 10 Oh, you're going to have him like a bug up your ass obsessed with you. As soon as you can trigger that little like emotional fight or flight of like, do I have or do I not?

Speaker 10 The chase, as soon as you can trigger that, they're going to be attached to you. They're going to be addicted to you.

Speaker 10 But if you Google intermittent intermittent reinforcement patterns in relationships someone will actually get addicted to you and they're not gonna let you go so be very very careful so leo from my previous experience and my understanding of all this with this person i'm gonna go away i'm gonna go ahead and scoot the boot and get the fuck out of there and not deal with that person because i don't got time for that Let's go get our dopamine for making money.

Speaker 10 Let's go do something fun. Let's be consistent with our relationship and get the emotional highs and lows out of life.
You know what I mean? I'm not the type to do with the unstable relationship shit.

Speaker 10 It's not for me. So Leo would leave.
But now that I gave you a little bit better of an understanding, you kind of know what to do.

Speaker 10 You can go forward with it, but understand what's going on from their side and don't question your value. And if you're not good enough, it's about the emotional shit going on with him.
Trust.

Speaker 10 Okay, next person said, I asked my friend. This is so me.

Speaker 10 This is so me, sensitive bitch.

Speaker 10 I asked my friends to go out with me and they bailed, but hung out two nights later together and didn't ask me do i have a right to feel mad or is that childish you have a right to feel however you feel you do not have a right to lash out and be an asshole and retaliate because of a perceived mistreatment from them i'm just going to give you a couple of perspectives not to make an excuse but just other things to consider in your mind maybe

Speaker 10 they are going through something and they wanted to talk about it.

Speaker 10 Maybe they were going to hang out with someone or meet up with someone who you don't like or they don't like you or they just didn't feel like you'd mesh with the group or they went somewhere and did something you don't like to do or they just didn't want you there.

Speaker 10 That's a possibility too. But I can guarantee you if you go at them angry and pissed off of like, what the fuck? And you get mad at them.
They're not going to respond well to that.

Speaker 10 They're not going to empathize with you. They're not going to care.
They're just going to look at you like a sensitive and irrational person of like, well, God forbid I don't invite Sally Mae.

Speaker 10 She's going to to have an aneurysm and start her period over it.

Speaker 10 Like if there's always a negative consequence and always complaints and criticisms toward people because they do things, they're never going to learn.

Speaker 10 That's not how you get someone to want to invite you to things. You have to go to them and ask, hey, what's tea?

Speaker 10 I would literally just FaceTime them, like group FaceTime be like, y'all don't fuck with me no more. Like make it a joke and be like, everybody wants to go on a date and leave me be.

Speaker 10 Like you can joke about it.

Speaker 10 They'll know you're serious you can play it that route or you could just straight up ask them like is this something happened because i'm over here feeling very left out like be cute be funny be like sweet about it don't be an asshole but don't try to be too understanding where you make room for excuses if they just don't want to hang out with you but don't want to say it pick up the hints babe if they don't want to hang out with you they don't want to hang out with you if you're not fun for them then you're not fun for them it doesn't mean you're not fun it means go hang out with other people but i'm sure you can just have a little conversation about this and clear it up real quick do it fun do it easy don't go at them mad and don't go at them like freaking out but the route that i suggest is texting them like in a group chat or something just be like hey miss you what are y'all doing like initiate hanging out say you miss them and see what's going on read the energy you gotta be a little vulnerable you could say

Speaker 10 hey miss you Just read it from there. But if this is a track record, get some new friends.

Speaker 2 It's okay.

Speaker 10 It's not you.

Speaker 10 you maybe it is but if you're not for them you it just means you're for someone else so go find them all right the next person said i've been journaling trying to go to the gym going to university getting better with my skincare and to socialize and i'm trying to do everything to better myself but i still feel alone drained and depressed

Speaker 10 Yeah, it's because what people promote online is not real. To journal and go to the gym is not a fulfilling life.
That's fucking boring. And you've experienced that.
You're not doing anything wrong.

Speaker 10 You're learning. So you've learned things to implement to try and better your life and you feel worse.
But I don't want you to get discouraged that you've done all these things and it didn't work.

Speaker 10 It's okay. It's just not meant for you.
What works for other people doesn't always work for you. If you found me and you like the shit that I talk about, we're always the exception.

Speaker 10 What works for them don't ever work for us.

Speaker 10 There's people who are happy as could be, wake up in the morning, drink their little smoothie, their lemon water, go to the gym, make a TikTok about their lemon water, and they're fulfilled. Not us.

Speaker 10 But like I said, don't get discouraged. You've just learned a lot of things that don't really work or didn't achieve what you wanted.

Speaker 10 So figure out what it is that you want and what it is you want to feel. And look at the actions you're taking and the things that you're doing and see, does that line up?

Speaker 10 Is there a better way to achieve what I'm trying to achieve? Do I really have to do this shit? Or am I just blindly following some loser on TikTok with abs? I'm proud of you though.

Speaker 10 I just want to say that because you've kind of mastered the skill of discipline now.

Speaker 10 You're doing your shit, taking care of yourself it's just time to reevaluate don't get discouraged you'll be like oh it's not working it isn't working what you're doing because you need to cater it to you and figure out what works for you for what you want and then do that so don't get discouraged don't get mad don't get upset not everything is going to work for you how other people claim for it to work for them Side note, like I said in the beginning, these influences are fake as shit.

Speaker 10 All these people that are like healthy and all that, going to the gym, drinking their lemon water, got so many drugs in their system, system, they can barely even function on the weekends and most nights.

Speaker 10 So these things that people claim work for them and fulfill them don't.

Speaker 10 So because you're experiencing that they don't fulfill you or make you feel better, they make you feel worse, it's not unrealistic. It's just not for you.

Speaker 10 That little lifestyle everybody promotes is one, bullshit, but two, not for you. So you've learned.
Now, make the little changes and cater it to you. You got this.
You fully got this.

Speaker 10 It's going to get better. You just got to learn your little way.
And this is all all progress. It's not a setback.
But setbacks only exist if there's been progress. So remember that.
Oh my god.

Speaker 10 Okay, next person said, I told my boyfriend over a month ago that my love language is words of affirmation.

Speaker 10 And I told him I need him to vocalize his affection for me because that's how I feel most loved.

Speaker 10 And he told me he doesn't feel like he should have to tell me every day how he feels about me because we're in a relationship and that should be enough reassurance in itself.

Speaker 10 He doesn't feel like he should have to tell me every day how he feels about me.

Speaker 10 He also doesn't feel like he's responsible for meeting emotional needs for you and loving you the way you want to be loved. That's what he's saying.

Speaker 10 He's straight up to your face telling you, I don't give a fuck about what I can do to make you feel better or make you feel reassured. or feel happy in this relationship.

Speaker 10 He's basically saying, you deal with that. My presence should just be enough for you.
Does he think he's fucking God? A lot of people act like that. A lot of people do that and I hate it.

Speaker 10 One person has said that to me. And that was the last thing they ever said to me.
We haven't spoke since. Okay, wait, there's more.
I didn't read it.

Speaker 10 I also asked him if he could post me every once in a while. And he said he's private on social media and doesn't even post himself much on there.
What's your advice?

Speaker 10 He don't like you. I don't want to sound so harsh and so rude about it, but.

Speaker 10 You're telling him things you want and that would make you feel good.

Speaker 10 And he's giving you every excuse why he doesn't feel like he needs to do it he's doing nothing but justifying not meeting your needs

Speaker 10 that's it cut and dry like i hate to be rough i hate to be harsh i know that's gonna hurt but it's what you need to kind of like jar you out of it of like what's really going on it's very clear with what you said and what he's saying that He either doesn't give a shit, he doesn't know how to care about someone like you, and that's totally fine.

Speaker 10 And that doesn't mean you're hard to love. You're just asking the wrong fucking person who's incapable.
Keep that in the back of your head. But the third thing I want to point out, what a pussy bitch.

Speaker 10 You can't do anything to make someone feel better. You're just going to do nothing but make excuses.
An excuse-making bitch is who this dude is. So do with that, which you will.

Speaker 10 I'm sorry I was rough with you. I love you.
I care about you.

Speaker 10 I'm only telling you this because I've been in the same situations too, where you're like love-blinded, rose-colored glasses, and you make excuses for people's behavior.

Speaker 10 See that the excuses being made here are more from him about why he can't and shouldn't love you and why he's validated in that. That's a truth that hurts, but it'll set you free.

Speaker 10 Okay, another person asked basically the same thing.

Speaker 10 I constantly ask my partner for reassurance over the same topics over and over, but they get annoyed with me and don't want to reassure me with the same topics anymore.

Speaker 10 How do I stop myself from asking? You're not asking me, how do I stop myself from asking? You're asking, how can I be okay with being neglected?

Speaker 10 You're never going to not have that need. You're never going to not want reassurance.

Speaker 10 Your option is to get good at not having it, cope with it and deal with it for the means of staying in that relationship, or find somebody who knows how to love you and has no fucking qualms about it and doesn't act like it's hard to love you.

Speaker 10 You're not asking for too much. You're asking the wrong person.
Run that back if you need it. Love you.
Okay, quick pause. Yeah, peep the new merch.
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Speaker 10 ah okay wait i'm gonna have to use a code word but read through the lines what would you do if your man of 10 years now fiancé can't stop consuming corn you know what i mean i just can't say it on youtube even though you've made it very clear how it's demeaning to you as a woman to go at a man with a corn addiction and hitting him from the angle of it's demeaning to me as a woman that's not enough to make someone stop that's not enough to make someone kind of care.

Speaker 10 All he's seeing is how invalid it is. And it is an addiction.
Corn addiction is a very real thing. And it's very prevalent in society right now among a lot of men.

Speaker 10 But my opinion is instead of going at it from the angle of it's disrespectful, it's demeaning, it's degrading, it's whatever, people aren't usually going to see that.

Speaker 10 Look at him and tell him what you're noticing in the way he treats you that you think is related to this habit or behavior.

Speaker 10 Point out the things you don't like about the relationship that you think are related and clear up if they are related or not.

Speaker 10 Let him see and make it very clear the consequences and the damage being done and the things you aren't cool with that are coming from that behavior. And also offer your help.
How can I help you stop?

Speaker 10 How can I help you want to break this? Be there for him. You're engaged.
That's your partner. Act like it's your partner and you're on the same team, not opposing teams.

Speaker 10 Like if you ever are worried about how to go about a conversation with a partner, get off the other side of the fucking table when you're sitting down to have a conversation and get next to them.

Speaker 10 Metaphorically, like in your head. Like imagine, okay, we're on the same team.
We're fighting for the same thing. How would my approach be different?

Speaker 10 Go at it like that and look at and offer your help and how you can help him overcome this thing that is not benefiting you or him and it might be causing a little damage.

Speaker 10 Go at it from that angle instead of just the shame angle of like, it's the meaning. I fully understand your point.
I fully get how you feel.

Speaker 10 I get why this is fucking with you, but you asked, what would I do in that situation?

Speaker 10 That,

Speaker 10 go at it from that angle because that's how to actually get someone to improve or change or stop a behavior is to help them do it and not just shame them about it. So your feelings are very valid.

Speaker 10 The way to communicate it just needed a little polishing. You're good though.
You got this. Okay, the next person said, where do you draw the line with blame? Went back to an old relationship.

Speaker 10 I believe in second chances. He made the same mistake.
He asked me on a date and now he won't pick up when I call. Beating myself up for putting myself in the same place.

Speaker 10 Is it my fault for going back to someone who hurt me?

Speaker 10 No, it's not your fault for going back to someone who hurt you because you believe in second chances.

Speaker 10 And if this person has led you to believe that they would change and they saw the error of something and they were going to change change a certain behavior, if they convinced you of that and you chose to give them a chance to prove it, that's on them.

Speaker 10 That is not solely your fault. And this is not something you should beat yourself up about and get mad about.
You guys have different beliefs and views. and you believe in second chances.

Speaker 10 That's totally fair. It's very commendable.
You have a very big heart and you care. And it's very admirable that you believe in second chances.
You lived by your values.

Speaker 10 You gave this this person a second chance they showed you they'll do the same again even if it hurts you now if you go back is nothing but your fault you know the stove is hot you touched it oh it burnt you a little bit wait okay you touched it again it burnt you if you get burned a third time That's on you.

Speaker 10 Then it's your fault. But right now, you gave them a second chance.
You believe in second chances. Go for it.
If you thought it was a good idea, you thought it was a good idea.

Speaker 10 You had good reason to believe it was a good idea.

Speaker 10 Now you know, and you're aware, and you're solidified in the fact that you're going to walk forward without this motherfucker, and you're not going to touch the stove again.

Speaker 10 Like I said, this one's not your fault. The next one will be.
Don't let there be a next one.

Speaker 10 Oh, here we go with this again. Okay, someone said my boyfriend keeps liking other girls' posts.

Speaker 10 I told him how it makes me uncomfortable and he would unlike them immediately, but he would go back to liking those girls' pictures shortly after.

Speaker 10 He showed you who he is. So what are you going to do? Is this a deal breaker for you or not? It is for me.

Speaker 10 If I tell you don't fucking do something and explain to you why I don't like that you do something or something hurts me or bothers me, we've talked about it, you've agreed not to do it and you do it again.

Speaker 10 Blatant disregard. That's disrespectful at that point.
That's how I would take it. The behavior is not going to change.

Speaker 10 So instead of getting caught up in the idea of the potential, oh, life could be great if he would just stop this thing. He's not going to stop.

Speaker 10 He's got something else going on and some need being met by doing it. He's going to continue to do it, even though it hurts you and you've communicated that.
He's going to go back on his word.

Speaker 10 He's now a liar. He now cannot be trusted.
He now has revealed his word holds nothing. He has no integrity.
He said, I'm not going to do this.

Speaker 10 Only stopped because he got caught. And then did it again once he thought you weren't looking.
That's a person right in front of you. They just showed you who they are.

Speaker 10 Now, what are you going to to do? You got to make a decision from the new reality that's just hit you in the face. It doesn't feel good.
It sucks. It's going to hurt.

Speaker 10 I have a lot of podcast episodes about breakups. A whole bunch, actually.
I'll help you get through it. Just watch those.
But old Leo would have probably put my hands on him.

Speaker 10 Because, like I said, disrespectful at that point. But new me and me now, walk off.
It's very clear. You talked about it.
You communicated. You gave another chance.
And you you got shit on.

Speaker 10 Okay. The other thing with people who are so caught up in liking people's stuff on social media, what the fuck is that? Genuinely, what is that?

Speaker 10 This man is so emotionally stunted, has pissed poor priorities, doesn't understand what matters in his life.

Speaker 10 A real connection, a genuine love, a relationship with somebody is worth more than a double tap on a photo. Go look at whatever you want.

Speaker 10 Don't leave no trace that you looked at at it that's weird to me but for someone to be so blind and maybe not even blind just

Speaker 10 disregarding the fact of the damage that can come from something so goddamn stupid that you get nothing out of acting like you get paid to like girls posts cut it out but to know that he hurts you with it And he's still just so caught up on such a superficial thing.

Speaker 10 He lacks priority. He lacks perspective.
You do not value the same things. This is someone who has a lot of life left to grow and learn, and you're not on the same page.

Speaker 10 So go find someone with perspective and take the pain. It's going to hurt.
Be stronger than a lot of people are with situations like this. If you're wondering, should you leave someone?

Speaker 10 Should you not?

Speaker 10 From me,

Speaker 10 please. Be stronger than I've been in the past with shit I've put up with years ago.
You will never regret it. And just for me, be stronger than I was.

Speaker 10 This is stupid little bullshit, but it's just going to fester and feed into more things. Trust me, cut it off.
OT. Okay, someone said, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for three years.

Speaker 10 Three years, keep that in mind. He has had a family friend, our age, that he's grown up with, and I found out they're closer than I thought.
They message often, and he confides in her a lot.

Speaker 10 He tells me she's like a sister to him, but I can't seem to be 100% comfortable with their friendship. Please help.
Am I stressing about nothing? No, babe. You're not stressing about nothing.

Speaker 10 This is definitely something because for you to just now, three years into dating this dude, find out he's actually way closer with someone is a fucking problem. That's a problem.
That's an issue.

Speaker 10 There's something being hidden on purpose. You're just now finding out how close they are and how much they talk and how much he confides in her.
Very much fishy.

Speaker 10 Fish stinks over here. Fishy as hell.
Fish market. Definitely be weary.
Definitely be stressed out about it. Don't get engaged.
Don't get a pet together. Don't have a kid with him.

Speaker 10 There's some definite conversations to be had about this.

Speaker 10 Not in a bad or malicious way, but they might be bullshitting you. Just to be honest, they might be.

Speaker 10 Because why three years in, you're finding out you're actually way closer than this person than i thought what

Speaker 10 three years into dating somebody you should know

Speaker 10 a lot about who they're closest to so why is that being hidden

Speaker 10 that's just very off like i said fish market what the fuck you need to go get his iCloud on Apple Watch or an iPad or some shit and start reading the messages or go through his phone.

Speaker 10 See what they're really talking about.

Speaker 10 Or next time they hang out, go show up. Find his location, track him.
Show up. Don't show up and say that you're there and let your presence be known.
Just watch. Just observe.

Speaker 10 Watch them going in the parking lot. Do they kiss? Do they smooch? Do they be doing any weird shit? You know? Well, that might be a little toxic, but three years you're already invested.

Speaker 10 Yeah, do a little crazy shit to get your confirmation. Do it.

Speaker 10 Like, so what? You showed up. Okay.

Speaker 10 So be it. You've been hiding a bitch for three years.
I don't want to hear it. You want to call me insecure? No, I'm just crazy.

Speaker 10 All right, the last person said, how do you stay happy? Like, I always feel like I'm tired and I become happy all of the sudden and then I get depressed. I can't make it continuous.

Speaker 10 I'm just tired of healing. I'm going to read through a couple of things you said.
Being happy is not something that's consistent all the time.

Speaker 10 You're a human being. You got a whole scale of emotions you're going to filter through and stick through and all of that.

Speaker 10 To expect yourself to be happy all the time and to be in an upstate all the time is unrealistic. And a lot of people promote it like it's true.
It's fucking not. Everybody goes through ups and downs.

Speaker 10 Everybody's got headache. Everybody's got things going good and bad in life.
It's normal to feel bad sometimes.

Speaker 10 I know that's so controversial to say. Oh my God.

Speaker 10 Yeah, it's true. You're allowed to feel like shit sometimes.
You're allowed to be tired. You're allowed to be sad.
You're allowed to not want to get out of the bed some days. Like, that's fine.

Speaker 10 I mean, if you lay there, that's on you. But, like, do what you got to do.
But it's normal to feel the waves. It's normal to feel ups and downs.
It's normal to feel all of that.

Speaker 10 It's not about being happy all the time. That's an unrealistic goal no human can achieve.

Speaker 10 So don't stress out too much about that with trying to fixate on like being happy all the time and making that your goal. Don't.
From someone who's tried it, you're going to get fed up really quick.

Speaker 10 It sounds like you're fed up. So like I'm saying, just wipe it out of your head.
That's not an accurate goal.

Speaker 10 Maybe do like some research and look into the human emotions and the scales and what the needs are for fulfillment as a human being.

Speaker 10 Look into biology, look into psychology, anything you can to research how what you're feeling is normal. And to have a normal like emotional state all day long is not normal.

Speaker 10 It's just what people promote. Okay.
So don't think you're crazy. Don't think you're nuts.
You shouldn't just try to only be happy all the time. But the other part you said, I'm just tired of healing.

Speaker 10 have a fear and a little bit of a worry that you think feeling bad and then the next day feeling good or doing something to feel good the next day is healing.

Speaker 10 And then the next day when you feel bad and then you do something to fix it and feel good again, you think that's healing.

Speaker 10 So you think the daily ups and downs of emotions and all the intentional effort you're putting into changing how you feel is healing.

Speaker 10 Changing just the way you feel day to day on a basic emotional level is not healing.

Speaker 10 So I think you're actually just tired of the ups and downs and the effort and the constant like, fuck, I have to do something to feel better. That's exhausting.
That's annoying. But healing is

Speaker 10 a lot different.

Speaker 10 I'm going to do a full podcast episode about healing and how the healing era promoted on social media is horseshit. Okay, that's coming.
Your healing era is over, babe.

Speaker 10 I'm going to mop the the floor with that topic but for now with thinking this is healing that's not healing that's just feeling a little bit better but my advice for this is not letting the fluctuations in mood change your mindset your beliefs and what you tell yourself

Speaker 10 And don't let it change your actions either. Like if you're on track with something, it's going to feel exhausting if every time you're emotional, you're dicked around.
Oh, now I can't do this.

Speaker 10 Now I can't do that. Now all my goals are on hold because I feel this way and I feel like I can't do something.
You can. You can feel like shit and do the opposite.
You can be thirsty and not drink.

Speaker 10 You can be horny and not fuck.

Speaker 10 You can be hungry and not eat. You can be tired and not sleep.
There's plenty of feelings you can have, and urges and sensations and not let it dictate what you do or think.

Speaker 10 So, learning how to comfort yourself is a big thing. Learning how to get control of your mind will also help.

Speaker 10 So, like, when you are experiencing a downtime, I always get a little excited and I have a stable

Speaker 10 knowing that with every downtime, it flips, always flips. It's always going to make sense later, and it's always going to hit you later.

Speaker 10 It's happened enough times where I've solidified that belief to stay stable in me, even when things get bad.

Speaker 10 So, look at the proof that you have that every single time it gets bad, it gets good again, or every time it gets bad, you learn something that turns it good, or you find a new perspective, or a new mindset, or a new opportunity, or some shit.

Speaker 10 You start thinking of new things, looking at things different, and it causes the uplift so that you can get a little bit more confident in the downs when the waves are coming like when the down wave comes you're going to feel a little bit more safe in it and you're not going to feel as like big of a sense of catastrophizing and freaking out because life's awful oh my god i don't want to get out of bed now i can't get out of bed you cannot want to get out of the bed and still get out of the bed don't convince yourself your emotions run you you're stronger than that you're here for more than that so cling to that you got this babe i always forget how much fun I have with these episodes.

Speaker 10 I'm gonna start doing them again. So, if you want to be featured in one of the next episodes, I'll leave the link where you could submit your situation.

Speaker 10 It's always anonymous, I don't know anyone's name, and I leave it like that on purpose so you feel free to just send the T in.

Speaker 10 A lot of people use it to vent and get things out, so you can use it however you need it. But I will leave the link in the description where you could submit your situation.

Speaker 10 I'll also leave the link to my tickets for my tour. I'm currently on tour, I'm actually leaving tomorrow to go to Texas.
I'm recording this early, babe. I'm tired, I'm exhausted.

Speaker 10 It's damn midnight, but the show goes on, you know? Discipline. But on my live shows, I talk about the topic of confidence from a lot of different angles.

Speaker 10 I have a roadmap with eight checkpoints, and I walk you through my whole process of confidence, my whole mindset around it, and everything that I've used to get to the point that I'm at.

Speaker 10 All the ups and downs and shit in between. But I also throw a little spirituality into it and it gets real good.

Speaker 10 But that is a really big component with confidence in general is not feeling opposed in in life by a higher force so my checkpoint in the roadmap with that that's just one of the eight is how to stop feeling opposed in life by something bigger and greater than you and then i teach you how to flip it and do all that but like i said the link for tickets is in the description if you want to get one and come to a show you won't regret it i could bet my life on it I'm also going to put my social media, everything else you need for me.

Speaker 10 Just look in the description if you want to keep up with me or find something. It's all fucking in there.

Speaker 10 But if you're listening to the audio version of this on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, leave me a five stars rating.

Speaker 10 And if you're watching this on YouTube, leave me a thumbs up and a comment or something. Put a black heart.
So I know that you made it this far in the video if you listened.

Speaker 10 And that is all I've got for this week's podcast. So everybody, be safe, take care of yourself, and I'll talk to you guys next Sunday.

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