131. Exposing Fake TikTokers & Signs A Man Isn't YOUR Man (WWLD)

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Hi, friends. This week, I'm not holding back.
We're doing a What Would Leo Do? I haven't done one in a while, but you guys have asked me to bring it back. And for anyone that's new, hi.
What Would Leo Do is where people write in and send me their situation and ask for advice. Basically, what Leo would do, but I ended up just giving advice most of the time.
But this week I'm going to be kind of mean because people need it. All right, I got my little laptop.
Let's jump into this. First situation, T.
Someone said, okay, so there's this white boy TikToker who goes to my university and he preaches like he's progressive and shit. Sometimes feminist, yada, yada.
And he gets a lot of praise. But in real real life I've met him and he's such an asshole and does not actually have those values and it irritates me that he gets clout or attention from women online who hype him up but he is genuinely not like that whatsoever in real life my friends say I should like publicly call him out or something like that but it's a little bit cringy anyways what should I do welcome to it babe babe.
TikTok is the biggest bunch of bullshit you'll ever see in your life. I've met all of these influencers y'all follow.
There's people y'all don't even know that I've met that I've met. None of them match what they preach.
None of these celebrities, none of these influencers. This is something you just got to get used to.
Let the little boy have his moment and just understand and get through your head. What people preach online is not accurate with what they believe or think in real life.
This is a game. Social media is a full game.
And all the influencers you see and all these celebrities, this is a business. And you guys have watched my whole journey with all of this.
And you've seen me try to cling to my soul and hold it and keep it. And I have, it's been a rocky ass road, but this is all a business.
These people you see are businesses. They're not people.
Don't look at people on social media, like influencers as like humans and don't take what they say at face value. All the private conversations you and all your friends have, we all have them too.
Nobody actually is posting, besides me, what they really think. Let me not say no one because there are some people who talk about what they think and feel.
But it's not fully. I don't even fully say everything I think and feel because of cancel culture so you have to understand the kind of like bind that people on social media are in you can't say certain things because one thing you say people don't like your whole life can be ruined over it they just tried to cancel me like a month ago over a bunch of horse shit but people are gonna post what gets them accepted and loved and get followers and all that that's typical it's normal it's that's the norm for you to see the discrepancy babe let me wake you up to the real life of all this it's all horse shit it's all lies like these people are not truthful and honest with what they really think and feel but you have to also take into consideration the level of harshness with saying anything people don't like you can say one thing someone doesn't like and your whole family will be getting death threats you'll get swatted cops will be showing up at your place it's happened to me multiple times why you think i keep leaving the city why you think you can't find me no more i'm always running i'm always moving because people are so dumb genuinely just dumb and i don't want talk talk about cancel culture I'll do a whole episode on that but with this boy just let him have his little fame let him have his little moment these people you can't stop them all but also with retaliating and exposing someone you have to look at what that makes you look like because if I were to get online and expose all of the shit that I know about all these people it makes me look bad I look like shit talker I look like just like a bitter loser who is just like talking about a lot of people even when people were making up lies about me and withholding contacts and trying to cancel me I have dirt on all of them But you have to look at how does it make you look to defend yourself? Are you defending yourself? Or are you just trying to de-platform someone and expose someone? Because there are people who are going to look at you just like a liar.
You do look like a clout chaser when you talk about other people, because all the people who talked about me, that's how I was looking at them. Like you you clout chasing little opportunistic rat that's exactly how I was looking at all these people but my point is it doesn't benefit you to expose him at all yeah he's a fake yeah he's a fraud so is everybody else you just gotta play the game and you just gotta let him have his little moment who gives a shit but the biggest thing when i say let them have their little moment these people who promote crap and are not honest and are fake

it always gets exposed so you're seeing someone being built up off of lies and bullshit and

getting praised for it god is building them up the universe is building them up because they're

taking them to a high point to drop them from to wake them up so let them have their little rise

I'm sorry. for it.
God is building them up. The universe is building them up because they're taking them to a high point to drop them from to wake them up.
So let them have their little rise. They will plummet

and everything will come crashing down. Not that you should be like happy about that.
It's fine.

If you are, that's normal to watch people get their fucking karma. Like it's like, okay, cool.

It is a little satisfying sometimes, but look at the people who are canceling me. That's my point

is you don't want to be associated and responsible for someone's downfall because you do not ever get a platform by deplatforming others and exposing others. And if you do have a platform where you're just exposing people, you're just a little shit talker for a living.
All the people who were talking about me for a little five minutes of fame and some money and some clout. Yeah, they got it, but they have no integrity and no one respects them and no one gives a shit about them at the end of the day.
You're going to attract people who feed off of negativity and bullshit. That's what these people with these platforms have.
You don't want to have that. You don't want to be someone who's just wrecking other people and ripping people down.
So my advice is just let him have his little moment don't associate whatever don't be responsible for their downfall because it's not going to be as good of a downfall if you just let god take care of it the universe and god i use those interchangeably god protects people's secrets for a reason he's planning for when things will be revealed and

when things will be brought into the light. Do not tamper with that.
Trust that good always wins. Trust and keep leading with your heart.
You don't need to do it. The secrets are being hidden for a reason because like I said, when they come out, it's going to have a way grander impact and a way bigger like hit and like decapitation than you can cause.
So I know you want to fight for the truth and fight for what's right. None of this social media shit is the truth and none of it is right.
Just to let you know, that's the norm. You're going to be the crazy one.
And also it's going to repel people from you because no one's going to feel safe with you because you're running to social media to expose people. If's what you do you're not safe no one's ever going to want to be around you or share a bag with you or do nothing fine because you're a rat that's what it looks like so don't do that let him have his little moment let god hold his fucking secrets in the dark until he's ready to shine light on them and make people pay for what they're doing So that's my advice to you.
That's what Leo would do. And that's what Leo does and is doing.
People are still running their mouth. And you know what I'm not doing? Talking about them or addressing them.
Because what that does is signal you're on the same level. You don't want to do that.
And you also don't want to make more controversy because he will get bigger from it. So let him have a moment.
Stay quiet. God will handle it.
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Alright, the next person said, how would

you handle having to see your ex you're in

no contact with at the gym that you both go to six days a week? Are we fucking for real with that one? Go at a different time or go to a different gym. Why are you doing that to yourself? Because it doesn't feel good going to the gym.
It does, actually. You're going to have to get used to not going to the gym with that fire under you of like, I'm going to make sure I look good.
You have a big sense of motivation right now of trying to piss this motherfucker off and make him regret his life. So when I say switch to a new gym, it sounds like, eh, but there's an emotional attachment because you have this motivation to go every day.
You have this motivation to get dressed and be hot and be on your shit and be eating right because you got somebody to like kick dirt at in a way like subconsciously. So there is going to be a sense of detachment and a sense of like, I don't want to switch gyms because you like that.
It's totally fine to like it. That's normal.
Like when you know your ex is going to be somewhere, you're going to show up to show out and you have that every single day. So you got a big boost with going toward your goals.
So it's not going to feel good to switch gyms or go at a time where you intentionally don't run into him. But if you really want to get into some dark psychology and a power play, he's seeing you every single day at the same time.
He's associating that with you guys trying to time it at the same time. If he's trying to time it because he secretly wants to see you and you stop going at that time you just big dicked him you just took the upper hand he's gonna be over here like what she didn't come don't go if you want to play like the manipulative game play it right or be really inconsistent one thing i do i have six gym memberships that pay for every month i go to different gyms all the time you can't catch me you can't ever pin me down in one spot that's my own thing but that's one thing you can do is sprinkle your presence in here and there keep him on his toes keep him wasting his good outfits on the days that you happen to just not show up like play the game right or don't play it you know what i mean okay the next person asked next person asked, do you believe once a cheater, always a cheater? My opinion on this is once a cheater on you, they will always be a cheater on you.
People can learn and change and grow and not cheat. I've cheated before.
I will never do it again because I've learned my lesson and I've grown from it. But if someone cheats on you, in your mind, they're always a cheater.
So once a cheater on you, they're always a cheater. And that comes from a place of once you experience a betrayal and a rupture like that, and a rupture in the trust with someone, there's no repairing it.
It's like shattering a vase that's glass and trying to glue the pieces back together. It's always gonna look fucked up.
It's always gonna be leaking. It's always gonna be wrong, off, not in its original form.
Cheating is one thing you cannot recover from, in my opinion and from my experience. So in the back of your head, even five years down the line, you're gonna have rebuilt everything.
You're gonna have forgiven and forgotten and forgotten and moved on. And they're going to be a little late getting home one night.
Or they're going to want to go out. And you're immediately in the back of your head going to be like, this motherfucker cheated on me.
Why are you not home when you said you were? Check in their location. It's going to drive you nuts.
So my opinion is once a cheater, always a cheater with you. Yes.
But in general, objectively with cheater always a cheater not always it's just situational with the relationship that you're in if they've cheated on you they're always a cheater in your head in the back of your head in the back of your head they're always gonna be a cheater you're always gonna be like what the fuck are you up to you're gonna be going, going through the photos they like. You're going to be a lunatic.
I get it. I know.
Because we are one. Okay, next person said, I'm talking to this guy.
And whenever I try talking to him consistently, he pulls away, which I obviously don't like. So when I take a step back, he just bombards me with messages.
It's like I'm stuck in a cycle. What does this mean this mean and what do i do the person you're dealing with has a weird association with love this is a really like deep thing mentally and emotionally so for consistency to be off-putting to someone that means their association with love is that feeling of intermittent reinforcement or communication and things not being consistent.
There's a sense of stability that comes from consistency. If you are not used to that in a relationship setting, or if you don't like consistency and it's off-putting, it's because you're attached to that dopamine hit of the curiosity, the questioning, the unknown, the spontaneous shit you get from people when you're in a relationship or you're talking to somebody.
Are they going to text me? Are they not? When you anticipate all day and you're nervous and you got butterflies and you're like, got to shit a little. And then they finally text you and you get that hit of dopamine.
It makes you feel like you're attached to that person. That's how they're operating with you.
They're not someone that wants consistency and stability. There's someone who likes that rush, the chase, the back and forth, the dopamine hit, the inconsistency because of how it feels emotionally, mentally, and physically because you do flush your body with dopamine when you're in an intermittent reinforcement pattern or that is your relationship to being in relationships.
If it's an intermittent reinforcement pattern, they're going to like that. And they're not going to like that you're consistent.
The day they're inconsistent and you match it, you're going to have him like a bug up your ass obsessed with you. As soon as you can trigger that little like emotional fight or flight of like, do I have or do I not? The soon as you can trigger that they're gonna be attached to they're gonna be addicted to you but if you google intermittent reinforcement patterns and relationships someone will actually get addicted to you and they're not gonna let you go so be very very careful so leo from my previous experience and my understanding of all the shit with this person i'm gonna go away i'ma go ahead and scoot the boot and get the fuck out of there and not deal with that person because i don't got time for that let's go get our dopamine from making money let's go do something fun let's be consistent with our relationship and get the emotional highs and lows out of life you know what i mean i'm not the type to do with the unstable relationship shit it's not for me so leo would leave but now that i gave you a little bit better of an understanding you kind of know what to do you can go forward with it but understand what's going on from their side and don't question your value and if you're not good enough it's about the emotional shit going on with him trust okay next person said i asked my food this is so me this is so me sensitive bitch i asked my friends to go out with me and they bailed but hung out two nights later together and didn't ask me do i have a right to feel mad or is that childish you have a right to feel however you feel you do not have a right to lash out and be an asshole and retaliate because of a perceived mistreatment from them.
I'm just going to give you a couple of perspectives, not to make an excuse, but just other things to consider in your mind. Maybe they are going through something and they wanted to talk about it.
Maybe they were going to hang out with someone or meet up with someone who you don't like, or they don't like you, or they just didn't feel like you'd mesh with the the group or they went somewhere and did something you don't like to do or they just didn't want you there that's a possibility too but i can guarantee you if you go at them angry and pissed off of like what the fuck and you get mad at them they're not gonna respond well to that they're not gonna empathize with you they're not gonna care they're just gonna look at you like a sensitive and irrational person of like oh god forbid i don't invite sally may she's gonna have an aneurysm and start her period over it like if there's always a negative consequence and always complaints and criticisms toward people because they do things they're never gonna learn that's not how you get someone to want to invite you to things you have to go to them and ask hey what's t i would literally just facetime them like group face time but y'all don't fuck with me no more like make it a joke and be like everybody wants to go on a date and leave me be like you can joke about it they'll know you're serious you can play it that route or you could just straight up ask them like is this something happened because i'm over here feeling very left out like be cute be funny be like sweet about it don't be an asshole but don't try to be too understanding where you make room for excuses if they just don't want to hang out with you but don't want to say it pick up the hints babe if they don't want to hang out with you they don't want to hang out with you if you're not fun for them then you're not fun for them it doesn't mean you're not fun it means go hang out with other people but i'm sure you can just have a little conversation about this and clear it up real quick do it fun do it easy don't go at them mad and don't go at them like freaking out but the route that i suggest is texting them like in a group chat or something just like hey miss you what are y'all doing like initiate hanging out say you miss them and see what's going on read the energy you got to be a little vulnerable you could say hey miss you just read it from there but if this is a track record get some new friends it's okay it's not you maybe it is but if you're not for them you just means you're for someone else. So go find them.
All right, the next person said, I've been journaling, trying to go to the gym, going to university, getting better with my skincare and to socialize. And I'm trying to do everything to better myself.
But I still feel alone, drained, and depressed. Yeah, it's because what people promote online is not real to journal and go to the gym is not a

fulfilling life that's fucking boring and you've experienced that you're not doing anything wrong

you're learning so you've learned things to implement to try and better your life and you

feel worse but i don't want you to get discouraged that you've done all these things and it didn't

work it's okay it's just not meant for you what works for other people doesn't always work for

you if you found me and you like the shit that I talk about, we're always the exception. What works for them don't ever work for us.
There's people who are happy as could be, wake up in the morning, drink their little smoothie, their lemon water, go to the gym, make a TikTok about their lemon water, and they're fulfilled. Not us.
But like I said, don't get discouraged. You've just learned a lot of things that don't really work or didn't achieve what you wanted.
So figure out what it is that you want and what it is you want to feel. And look at the actions you're taking and the things that you're doing and see, does that line up? Is there a better way to achieve what I'm trying to achieve? Do I really have to do this shit? Or am I just blindly following some loser on TikTok with abs? I'm proud of you, though.
I just want to say that because you've kind of mastered the skill of discipline now. You're doing your shit, taking care of yourself.
It's just time to reevaluate. Don't get discouraged.
You're like, oh, it's not working. It isn't working what you're doing because you need to cater it to you and figure out what works for you for what you want and then do that.
So don't get discouraged. Don't get mad.
Don't get upset. Not everything is going to work for you how other people claim for it to work for them.
Side note, like I said in the beginning, these influences are fake as shit. All these people that are healthy and all that, going to the gym, drinking their lemon water, got so many drugs in their system, they can barely even function on the weekends and most nights.
So these things that people claim work for them and fulfill them don't. So because you're experiencing that they don't fulfill you or make you feel better, they make you feel worse.
It's not unrealistic. It's just not for you.
That little lifestyle everybody promotes is one bullshit, but two, not for you. So you've learned now make the little changes and cater it to you.
You got this. You fully got this.
It's going to get better. You just got to learn your little way.
And this is all progress. It's not a setback, but setbacks only exist if there's been progress.
So remember that. Oh my God.
Okay. Next person said, I told my boyfriend over a month ago that my love language is words of affirmation.
And I told him I need him to vocalize his affection for me because that's how I feel

most loved.

And he told me he doesn't feel like he should have to tell me every day how he feels about

me because we're in a relationship and that should be enough reassurance in itself.

He doesn't feel like he should have to tell me every day how he feels about me.

He also doesn't feel like he's responsible for meeting emotional needs for you and loving you the way you want to be loved. That's what he's saying.
He's straight up to your face telling you, I don't give a fuck about what I can do to make you feel better or make you feel reassured or feel happy in this relationship. He's basically saying, you deal with that.
My presence should just be enough for you. Does he think he's fucking God? A lot of people act like that.
A lot of people do that and I hate it. One person has said that to me.
And that was the last thing they ever said to me. We haven't spoke since.
Okay, wait, there's more. I didn't read it.
I also asked him if he could post me every once in a while. And he said he's private on social media and doesn't even post himself much on there what's your advice he don't like you I don't want to sound so harsh and so rude about it but you're telling him things you want and that would make you feel good and he's giving you every excuse why he doesn't feel like he needs to do it he's doing nothing but justifying not meeting your needs.
That's it. Cut and dry.
Like, I hate to be rough. I hate to be harsh.
I know that's going to hurt. But it's what you need to kind of like jar you out of it.
Of like what's really going on. It's very clear with what you said and what he's saying.
That he either doesn't give a shit. He doesn't know how to care about someone like you.
And that's totally fine. And that doesn't mean you're hard to love.
You're just asking the wrong fucking person who's incapable. Keep down the back of your head.
But the third thing I want to point out, what a pussy bitch. You can't do anything to make someone feel better.
You're just going to do nothing but make excuses. An excuse-making bitch is who this dude is.
So do with that what you you will i'm sorry i was rough with you i love you i care about you i'm only telling you this because i've been in the same situations too where you're like love blinded rose-colored glasses and you make excuses for people's behavior see that the excuses being made here are more from him about why he can't and shouldn't love you and why he's validated in that. That's a truth that hurts, but it'll set you free.
Okay, another person asked basically the same thing. I constantly ask my partner for reassurance over the same topics over and over, but they get annoyed with me and don't want to reassure me with the same topics anymore.
How do I stop myself from asking? You're not asking me how do I stop myself from asking. You're asking how can I be okay with being neglected.
You're never going to not have that need. You're never going to not want reassurance.
Your option is to get good at not having it, cope with it, and deal with it for the means of staying in that relationship or find somebody who knows how to love you and has no fucking qualms about it and doesn't act like it's hard to love you you're not asking for too much you're asking the wrong person run that back if you need it love you okay quick pause yeah peep the new merch it's coming soon hey mama you don't have time to be messing around endlessly scrolling to find a caregiver for your child. Let me clue you in to my trick to save time and my sanity when finding a sitter.
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Ah! Okay, wait. I'm going to have to use a code word, but read through the lines.
What would you do if your man of 10 years now fiance can't stop consuming corn? You know what I fucking mean. I just can't say it on YouTube.
Even though you've made it very clear how it's demeaning to you as a woman. To go at a man with a corn addiction and hitting him from the angle of it's demeaning to me as a woman that's not enough to make someone stop that's not enough to make someone kind of care all he's seeing is how invalid it is and it is an addiction corn addiction is a very real thing and it's very prevalent in society right now among a lot of men but my opinion is instead of going at it from the angle of it's disrespectful it's demeaning it's degrading it's whatever people aren't usually going to see that look at him and tell him what you're noticing in the way he treats you that you think is related to this habit or behavior point out the things you don't like about the relationship that you think are related and clear up if they are related or not.
Let him see and make it very clear the consequences and the damage being done and the things you aren't cool with that are coming from that behavior and also offer your help. How can I help you stop? How can I help you want to break this? Be there for him.
You're engaged. That's your partner.
Act like it's your partner and you're on the same team, not opposing teams. Like if you ever worried about how to go about a conversation with a partner, get off the other side of the fucking table when you're sitting down to have a conversation and get next to them.
Metaphorically, like in your head, like imagine, okay, we're on the same team. We we're fighting for the same thing how would my approach be different go at it like that and look at and offer your help and how you can help him overcome this thing that is not benefiting you or him and it might be causing a little damage go at it from that angle instead of just the shame angle of like it's demeaning i fully understand your point i fully get how you feel i get why this is fucking with you but you asked what would i do in that situation that go at it from that angle because that's how to actually get someone to improve or change or stop a behavior is to help them do it and not just shame them about it so your feelings are very valid the way to communicate it just needed a little polishing.
You're good though. You got this.
Okay, the next person said, where do you draw the line with blame? Went back to an old relationship. I believe in second chances.
He made the same mistake. He asked me on a date and now he won't pick up when I call.
Beating myself up for putting myself in the same place. Is it my fault for going back to someone who hurt me? No, it's not your fault for going back to someone who hurt you because you believe in second chances.
And if this person has led you to believe that they would change and they saw the error of something and they were going to change a certain behavior, if they convinced you of that and you chose to give them a chance to prove it, that's on them. That is not solely your fault.
And this is not something you should beat yourself up about and get mad about. You guys have different beliefs and views and you believe in second chances.
That's totally fair. It's very commendable.
You have a very big heart and you care. And it's very admirable that you believe in second chances.
You lived by your values. You gave this person a second chance.
They showed you they'll do the same shit again, even if it hurts you. Now, if you go back, it's nothing but your fault.
You know the stove is hot. You touched it.
Oh, it burnt you a little bit. Wait.
Okay. You touched it again.
It burnt you you if you get burned a third time that's on you then it's your fault but right now you gave him a second chance you believe in second chances go for it if you thought it was a good idea you thought it was a good idea you had good reason to believe it was a good idea now you know and you're aware and you're solidified in the fact that you're gonna walk walk forward without this motherfucker. And you're not going to touch the stove again.
Like I said, this one's not your fault. The next one will be.
Don't let there be a next one. Oh, here we go with this again.
Okay, someone said my boyfriend keeps liking other girls' posts. I told him how it makes me uncomfortable and he would unlike them immediately.
But he would go back liking those girls pictures shortly after he showed you who he is so what are you gonna do is this a deal breaker for you or not it is for me if i tell you don't fucking do something and explain to you why i don't like that you do something or something hurts me or bothers me we've talked about it you've agreed not to do it again. Blatant disregard.
That's disrespectful at that point. That's how I would take it.
The behavior is not going to change. So instead of getting caught up in the idea of the potential, life could be great if he would just stop this thing.
He's not going to stop. He's got something else going on and some need being met by doing it.
He's going to continue to do it even though it hurts you and you've communicated that. He's going to go back on his word.
He's now a liar. He now cannot be trusted.
He now has revealed his word holds nothing. He has no integrity.
He said, I'm not going to do this. Only stopped because he got caught and then did it again once he thought you weren't looking.
That's a person right in front of you. They just showed you who they are.
Now what are you going to do? You got to make a decision from the new reality that's just hit you in the face. It doesn't feel good.
It sucks. It's going to hurt.
I have a lot of podcast episodes about breakups, whole bunch actually. I'll help you get through it.
Just watch those. But old Leo would have probably put my hands on him.
Because like I said, disrespectful at that point. But new me and me now walk off.
It's very clear. You talked about it.
You communicated. You gave another chance.
And you got shit on. Okay? The other thing with people who are so caught up in liking people's stuff on social media what the fuck is that genuinely what is that this man is so emotionally stunted has piss poor priorities doesn't understand what matters in his life a real connection a genuine love a relationship with somebody is worth more than a double tap on a photo.

Go look at whatever you want. Don't leave no trace that you looked at it.
That's weird to me. But for someone to be so blind and maybe not even blind, just disregarding the fact of the damage that can come from something so goddamn stupid that you get nothing out of acting like you get paid to like girls posts cut it out but to know that he hurts you with it and he's still just so caught up on such a superficial thing he lacks priority he lacks perspective you do not value the same things this is someone who has a lot of life left to grow and learn and you're not on the same page so go find someone with perspective and take the pain it's gonna hurt be stronger than a lot of people are with situations like this if you're wondering should you leave someone should you not from me please be stronger than i've been in the past with shit i've put up with years ago you will never regret it and just for me be stronger than I was this is stupid little bullshit but it's just gonna fester and feed into more things trust me cut it off oh t okay someone said I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for three years three years keep in mind.
He has had a family friend our age that he's grown up with, and I found out they're closer than I thought. They message often, and he confides in her a lot.
He tells me she's like a sister to him, but I can't seem to be 100% comfortable with their friendship. Please help.
Am I stressing about nothing? No, babe. You're not stressing stressing about nothing this is definitely something because for you to just now three years into dating this dude find out he's actually way closer with someone is a fucking problem that's a problem that's an issue there's something being hidden on purpose you're just now finding out how close they are and how much they talk and how much he confides in her very much fishy fish stinks over here fishy as hell fish market definitely be weary definitely be stressed out about it don't get engaged don't get a pet together Don't have a kid with them.
There's some definite

conversations to be had about this. Not in a bad or malicious way, but they might be bullshitting you.
Just to be honest, they might be. Because why three years in you're finding out you're actually way closer than this person than I thought? What? Three years into dating somebody? you should know a lot about who they're closest to so why is that being hidden that's just very off like i said fish market what the fuck you need to go get his iCloud on the apple watch or an ipad or some shit and start reading the messages or go through his phone see what they're really talking about or next time they hang out go show up find his location track him show up don't show up and say that you're there and let your presence be known just watch just observe watch them going in the parking lot do they kiss do they smooch do they be doing any weird shit you know well that might be a little toxic but three years you're already invested yeah do a little crazy shit to get your confirmation do it like so what you showed up okay so be it you've been hiding a bitch for three years i don't want to hear it you want to call me insecure no i'm just crazy all right the last person said how do you stay happy like i always feel like I'm tired and I become happy all of a sudden.
And then I get depressed. I can't make it continuous.
I'm just tired of healing. I'm going to read through a couple of things you said.
Being happy is not something that's consistent all the time. You're a human being.
You got a whole scale of emotions you're going to filter through and stick through and all of that. To expect yourself to be happy all the time you're a human being you got a whole scale of emotions you're going to filter through and stick through and all of that to expect yourself to be happy all the time and to be in an upstate all the time is unrealistic and a lot of people promote it like it's true it's fucking not everybody goes through ups and downs everybody's got headache everybody's got things going good and bad in life it's normal to feel bad sometimes i know that's so controversial to say oh my god yeah it's true you're allowed to feel like shit sometimes you're allowed to be tired you're allowed to be sad you're allowed to not want to get out of the bed some days like that's fine i mean if you lay there that's on you but like do what you gotta do but it's normal to feel the waves it's normal to feel ups and downs It's normal to feel ups and downs.
It's normal to feel all of that. It's not about being happy all the time.
That's an unrealistic goal no human can achieve. So don't stress out too much about that with trying to fixate on like being happy all the time and making that your goal.
Don't. From someone who's tried it, you're gonna get fed up really quick.
It sounds like you're fed up. So like I'm saying, just wipe it out of your head.
That's not an accurate goal. Maybe do like some research and look into the human emotions and the scales and what the needs are for fulfillment as a human being.
Look into biology, look into psychology, anything you can to research how what you're feeling is normal. And to have a normal emotional state all day long is not normal it's just what people promote okay so don't think you're crazy don't think you're nuts you shouldn't just try to only be happy all the time but the other part you said i'm just tired of healing i have a fear and a little bit of a worry that you think feeling bad and then the next day feeling good or doing something to feel good the next day is healing.
And then the next day when you feel bad and then you do something to fix it and feel good again, you think that's healing. So you think the daily ups and downs of emotions and all the intentional effort you're putting into changing how you feel is healing.
Changing just the way you feel day to day on a basic emotional level is not healing. So I think you're actually just tired of the ups and downs and the effort and the constant like, fuck, I have to do something to feel better.
That's exhausting. That's annoying.
But healing is a lot different i'm gonna do a full podcast episode about healing and how the healing era promoted on social media is oh shit okay that's coming your healing era is over babe i'm gonna mop the floor with that topic but for now with thinking this is healing that's not healing that just feeling a little bit better. But my advice for this is not letting the fluctuations in mood change your mindset, your beliefs, and what you tell yourself.
And don't let it change your actions either. Like if you're on track with something, it's going to feel exhausting if every time you're emotional, you're dicked around.
Oh, now I can't do this. Now I can't do that.
Now all my goals are on hold because I feel this way and I feel like I can't do something. You can.
You can feel like shit and do the opposite. You can be thirsty and not drink.
You can be horny and not fuck. You can be hungry and not eat.
You can be tired and not sleep. There's plenty of feelings you can have and urges and sensations and not let it dictate what you do or think.
So learning how to comfort yourself is a big thing. Learning how to get control of your mind will also help.
So like when you are experiencing a downtime, I always get a little excited. And I have a stable knowing that with every downtime, it flips, always flips.
It's always going to make sense later. And it's always going to hit you later.
It's happened enough times where I've solidified that belief to stay stable in me, even when things get bad. So look at the proof that you have that every single time it gets bad, it gets good again.
Or every time it gets bad, you learn something that turns it good, or you find a new perspective or a new mindset or a new opportunity or some shit. You start thinking new things looking at things different and it causes the uplift so that you can get a little bit more confident in the downs when the waves are coming like when the down wave comes you're going to feel a little bit more safe in it and you're not going to feel as like big of a sense of catastrophizing and freaking out because life's awful.
Oh my god,

I don't want to get out of bed. Now I can't get out of bed.
You cannot want to get out of the bed

and still get out of the bed. Don't convince yourself your emotions run you.
You're stronger

than that. You're here for more than that.
So cling to that. You got this, babe.
I always forget

how much fun I have with these episodes. I'm gonna start doing them again.
So if you want to be

featured in one of the next episodes, I'll leave the link where you could submit your situation.

It's always anonymous. I don't know anyone's name.
and i leave it like that on purpose so you feel free to just send the tea in a lot of people use it to vent and get things out so you can use it however you need it but i will leave the link in the description where you could submit your situation i'll also leave the link to my tickets for my tour i'm currently on tour i'm actually leaving tomorrow to go to Texas. I'm recording this early, baby.
I'm tired. I'm exhausted.
It's damn midnight, but the show goes on, you know, discipline. But on my live shows, I talk about the topic of confidence from a lot of different angles.
I have a roadmap with eight checkpoints and I walk you through my whole process of confidence, my whole mindset around it and everything that I've used to get to the point that I'm at all the ups and downs and shit in between. But I also throw a little spirituality into it and it gets real good.
But that is a really big component with confidence in general is not feeling opposed in life by a higher force. So my checkpoint in the roadmap with that that's just one of the eight is how to stop feeling opposed in life by something bigger and greater than you.
And then I teach you how to flip it and do all that. But like I said, the link for tickets is in the description.
If you want to get one and come to a show, you won't fucking regret it. I could bet my life on it.
I'm also going to put my social media, everything else you need from me. Just look in the description.
If you want to keep up with me or find something, it's all fucking in there. But if you're listening to the audio version of this on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, you need five stars rating.
And if you're watching this on YouTube, leave me a thumbs up and a comment or something. Put a black heart so I know that you made it this far in the video if you listened.
And that is all I've got for this week's podcast. So everybody, be safe, take care of yourself, and I'll talk to you guys next Sunday.
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