46. Performative People & The Violence Of Being Ignored

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Hello.

Hi, friends.

My house didn't get broken into.

I left you off on a cliffhanger.

I'll update you.

Everything was fine with the house.

I don't want to talk about none of that right now.

This has been like burning a hole in me and I just got off the phone with my sister.

We were just ranting about this.

I need to talk about social media.

The new like most addictive drug in the world is fame.

Something else we're going to talk about is performative people being the most insufferable and annoying to be around around because there's a lot of guilt that goes in to dealing with people who are performative like people like you go to a restaurant this happened to me the other day you go to a restaurant you got a waiter who's doing the goddamn most they just doing too much

for them to be performative and doing all this and that for you to just want to go sit down and eat and order your drink and order your food you're looked at as the bad guy and you're like the asshole if you don't match their performance if you don't perform back to validate them and make them feel good.

And like, if you don't match their performance, you're the bad guy.

So I'm going to talk about something I've realized about the guilt around that.

But first, I want to go into this social media mental illness going on.

It's irritating the shit out of me watching so many people go through it.

Where do I want to start?

The Love Island trend going on right now, the show Love Island.

Everybody's up in arms and doing all kinds of crazy shit to the people on that show.

Huda is like the girl that everybody hated at first because she was toxic and now everybody likes her.

I don't know what's going on with Love Island.

I don't watch it.

I don't watch TV.

I just see like the clips and I know what's going on.

Basically this girl on the show, everybody hated her.

Now they love her.

They said she was toxic.

Whatever.

She's got a child and people are calling CPS.

to try and get her child taken away from her.

This is a mental illness with people nowadays.

I don't know what is going on.

I'm sick of it.

The amount of people who are so mentally like twisted.

I don't know if you're bored.

I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you, but you got something wrong with you.

Let me mirror it to you.

Your behavior is very weird.

These people are calling CPS on Huda.

They're trying to get her child taken away from her.

There's another girl who said some like racist shit and she's getting canceled.

They're going as far with that girl to go try and get her parents fired from their jobs.

This whole thing of people getting famous, getting some kind of attention or clout,

them doing something that people don't like.

And then these people just like these nobody ass people are given so much power by social media.

And they go try to destroy everyone associated with this person.

I've been through this personally.

I've been through the cancellations.

I've been through getting swatted.

I've been through my family getting fucked with.

This is something that needs consequences immediately.

What I suggest, what I would love to see to get rid of some of this boldness and some of this irresponsibility, make every single social media account have to be verified with a driver's license or an ID.

No more of this anonymous accounts.

No more of this people just getting to talk out of their face without having a picture of their face.

I want some accountability to be had on social media.

I want every comment you leave.

I want to be able to go click your profile and see all the comments you've left on everybody's shit.

I want people's behavior to be accountable and public.

There's too many people running around getting to do whatever they want.

I don't look at Reddit anymore.

I haven't looked at it in like a year because these people are just so brain rot stupid.

But these people just get to go hide behind some random user one, two, three, four, five.

And they get to comment.

They get to make up stories.

They get to slander the fuck out of people.

They get to make fake AI shit of people and post it.

It's like social media has now become something where any normal person watching somebody has an element and like a level of power that they can cause damage with to the people that they're watching.

That's not fair in my opinion at all.

You're able to fuck with me behind a screen.

I don't know who you are.

The people who swatted me, I want it to be public information who called the cops.

I want to know who the fuck did it.

The people calling CPS on Huda, it should be public information.

I want to know and be able to see who is doing this shit genuinely.

Like, I'm so curious, but two, if nobody's going to hold you accountable, I'm going to come fucking get you myself.

This has gotten so out of hand and people are literally destroying people's lives just for their own entertainment.

And I don't know if there's any other way to kind of like fix it or talk about it, but that is the one thing that I want.

I want everybody's social media accounts to have to be verified by a driver's license or an ID.

I want your legal government name on your shit.

I want people to be able to have some level of identifier because the anonymity of people being able to do whatever they want behind a fake name, you got too much power.

These, it's like the mall cop people, people who become a mall cop.

You weren't good enough to be an actual cop.

You just want some kind of authority.

You probably got bullied in school.

So people become a mall cop and you feel like you have a little sense of power.

You can't arrest nobody, can't shoot nobody.

Girl, you're just riding around on a moped.

It's like a false sense of like power you get.

That's what social media has become.

You get to go on there and play the whole like moral high ground card and try and like ream people.

and hold people to the fire about all this shit that you couldn't even hold yourself to.

That's what baffles me.

That's why I want people to have to answer and have their name associated with it.

Because a lot of people like to pop shit and tell you, oh, your porch is dirty when their porch is dirty.

I don't know what that analogy is from.

It's from a long time ago.

I heard it as a kid.

But like, don't come over here and tell me my porch needs to be cleaned when yours is fucking dirty.

I want to see you.

I want to see a video of you running full speed before you try and talk about my body.

I want to see what you look like.

Let's play that game.

Put your government fucking driver's license ID as your profile picture.

Put your name on there.

I want to see what you look like.

I want to see what you drive while you're commenting on what I drive.

I want to see you be held accountable and see if you're still so fucking goddamn bold.

I come from a time, I'm 27, I come from a time with social media where in the early stages of it, I used to get into fights with people over what was said on social media.

Growing up in middle school and high school with social media, it wasn't as like far-reaching.

It's like you were on Facebook, you were talking shit with your friends, you were talking with people who were in your town, in your city.

You would talk shit on Facebook or MySpace.

You'd go to school and you'd get your ass beat if you pissed somebody off.

If you talked about somebody's family, they jump you.

That's how everybody used to roll.

Everybody would have to go face who they were talking about the next day at school.

There was not so much relentless bullying and harassment as it is now.

People calling to get you fired, getting you swatted, making up rumors, posting like AI fake nudes of shit.

That wasn't happening as often.

Granted, I can see technology wasn't as elevated as it is now, but there was an element of accountability with social media.

You couldn't really make a fake account.

You had to kind of like use your face and use who you were and talk from that.

People were a lot more confident and a lot more bold when you did talk shit.

Like when I would go on there and talk, I knew I was going to beat you up the next day.

And if someone was over there talking about me on social media, you knew at the basketball courts during PE, we're fighting.

It was just like a known thing after school there's a certain cemetery about a school i used to go to you go fight the cemetery i used to go skating rink all the time every friday night we'd go to the skating rink if you had a problem we'd go to the laser tag room and we would fight so nobody got caught that's just how it was with my introduction to social media so

You can still see it in the way that I operate with social media, but I don't talk about people like unprovoked.

Everybody talks about everybody at this point, but there's no accountability.

You're never going to see this this person in real life.

So it's not fair.

Nobody's getting their ass beat for what they're saying and doing on social media anymore.

And I think that's the problem.

Along with

how everything's so anonymous, you can do whatever you want.

If you don't got the balls to talk with your own face, you can just go make up a fake account and then start posting shit.

I don't like that.

People don't operate with respect and people look at their phone.

I think like I'm assuming people look at their phone like it's just entertainment.

People spend more time on their phone than they do normal life and like real life nowadays.

But everybody's on their phone.

They look at these people and they see it as entertainment and they get to go talk shit and do whatever.

They don't understand or they don't care probably that it's a person out the other side of it.

And you're causing like actual damage.

Social media is at a point you can cause actual damage and it needs to be like punished.

There needs to be some kind of punishment.

Like with the people calling CPS on Huda, if it's a false claim and you're just starting shit, you should face a fine or jail time.

Go sit your ass in a cell.

Like people who are commenting to other people, oh, kill yourself.

Anybody who's saying that, I think you should have a tracker on your accounts.

Like I said, upload a real ID.

Everybody's ID is tracked.

Every comment you leave somebody publicly is tracked.

It's public.

Everybody can see what you're doing.

But the system will let everybody know if a certain influencer or a certain person on social media actually does unalive themselves.

I hate that I got to speak around these stupid fucking terms and I can't swear and say certain things.

If someone were to unalive themselves, every single person who sent them a DM, you should kill yourself.

You should go to prison.

Attempted murder.

That would wipe this out.

There would be a lot less bullying.

There would be a lot less problems.

It's like the government needs to step in or let us step out.

You want to talk shit about somebody on the screen?

Okay, allow them to step out of the screen and beat the fuck out of you.

Something's got to give.

genuinely.

And so many people's pasts are being dug up.

And I think it's funny sometimes, because if you've been a rotten piece of shit, okay, it's coming out.

But with people's pasts coming out and getting dug up,

it's the like the internet and social media and everything has made it so easy for anybody to become famous literally overnight.

You can post one video and have 10 million people talking about you tomorrow.

Are you as a normal person able to handle your life being combed through with the fine-tooth comb?

Like you're looking for fucking lice.

Are you able to withstand someone combing through you every mistake you've made and everything about your past and then flipping it out of context using it against you swatting you getting you fired from your job are you able to handle that no but people continue to do it to other people anyways

i don't get that like i see people online all the time who irritate the out of me i don't comment hate comments i don't If I did, I would sit here and say that I did.

I don't have that in me where I sit here and talk shit and just like berate people.

I don't get that.

Like, I don't unprovoked, see something I don't like and then feel the need to comment

and fight about it.

Like, girl, I got shit to do.

No one's triggered me that bad where I stop in my tracks and comment hate.

Will I send the video to my sister or send it to my friends and talk shit in the DMs?

Yeah, all the time.

It's fun.

Talk shit with your friends.

Yeah, I do it all the time.

But do I sit here and like call people out?

Do I make a a fake account so it's not attached to Leo Skeppy and go comment things to people?

No, I have things to do.

Like I said, I have too much fun to go have in life.

I'm not like

saying that to be shady either.

Like, oh, you're booming.

Like, I don't understand that thing in people's brain.

Like, you got a mental fucking issue.

You got a real problem to be doing that.

And like, to take it as far as like, okay, you see somebody you don't like, you comment a hate comment.

Okay, but the people who

take it upon themselves to go dig into these people's life, find anything they can about them, call CPS, harass their parents, tell their parents that they need to kill themselves for having a child like that.

People have said that to my parents.

I would gut you like a fish if I could find you.

Just best believe.

Prayer's never a purge.

I have a lot more people's IP address than you think.

I'm waiting.

Okay.

We'll see if my vengeful side wants to come out.

But if that alarm ever sounds, hide.

Hide.

Like that stalker mentality is what I'm talking about.

Going so deep into someone to like get them fired from their job, call their partners, call their friends, harass everybody.

That's a mental illness.

That's stalking.

And I think you should be charged with stalking for doing that.

It's very fucking weird.

Like, I've never been triggered by somebody that bad where I am consumed with their life.

If I'm dating you, yes.

If I'm dating you, I'm going to look up every single thing about you because I'm dating you.

Duh.

But some just random stranger on the internet to go stalk their life down to like what color their fucking panties were on a Tuesday in 2013.

What?

I don't get that.

Like people will be pulling shit out the woodwork, but like that's the thing also with people's pasts.

If you're going to pull out something from someone's past, valid.

Okay, you can bring it out, but don't twist it out of context.

Don't add add new context to and make up stories and lie.

If you want to bring up a fact about someone's past, something they've said or done, you can bring it to them and say, Hello, what is this?

That I agree with, holding people accountable.

Yeah,

but to twist it and warp it, you're fucked up.

You're a piece of shit if you do that.

I don't like that.

And like I said, nothing's going on with me that like I'm talking about this.

I'm just observing it in so many fronts.

Ethel Kane is an artist that I really like.

ethel kane is getting canceled boots right now i like ethel kane's music i don't know much about her as a person i don't really give a like i like the music you know what i mean it's good it's up i like it it like scratches a certain part of my brain i've liked her music for like years like five six years now but she's over here getting canceled because a lot of like old racist tweets and things were like coming out She made a statement and said

she was kind of like owning up to it and saying, this is what we're going to talk about, fame being a drug.

She was saying that she was trying to do anything to be as inflammatory as possible.

She didn't mean what she was saying, but she was just saying shit back in the day.

It was like 2017 or something like that.

I don't know.

But basically, her like response to everything coming up now was like, I didn't mean any of it.

And she's like apologizing for people that she hurt by it.

And then she's saying she was just trying to be as inflammatory as possible and like piss people off.

Like she was desperate for attention and she owned that, which I can respect when people can own themselves.

Like, yeah, you wanted attention.

Okay, this is the new

virus of social media and of life itself.

People so desperate for attention and fame.

I'm not talking about Ethel Kane anymore.

That conversation's ended.

I'm just using that as a bridge to get to this next point.

But with Ethel Kane and all that, the way people are canceling her, it's like I can respect

you're holding everybody's hand to the same fire, whether they're liberal, conservative, democrat, I don't know.

I don't know politics.

I don't know who the fuck is what, but like Eto Kane is trans.

It doesn't matter if you're white, black, trans, anything.

These cancel culture people seem to hold everybody to the same fire.

Her audience is turned on her.

Her audience is the type of audience that is so the type to do this shit.

Like.

The people who are so twacked out of their mind, nothing to do, bed rotting, so pale white, they ain't seen sunlight in like four years and not to talk shit but y'all little i'm just pointing out observations like that's her like fan base i'm not the typical fan of ethel kane like the music i went to the concert her first concert i looked like a sore thumb i appreciate music like certain things from certain people i don't fucking know that's just whatever i could separate the artist from the music and you have to with everything at this point but Her whole fan base is the exact type who cancels in the way that is so destructive.

And now they're doing it to her.

It's unfortunate to see it.

I don't know the details of what the fuck is going on, but now we're going to close that topic and go toward the one I'm talking about with people having an addiction.

Like fame is the new drug.

The levels people are going to to get fame, to get clout is pathetic.

They are doing shit.

Like I hate to use Ethel Kane as the example because I really like her fucking music.

But Ethel Kane is someone who was trying to be inflammatory.

It got her out of character.

She said that she's not a a racist person, but she was saying racist things to be inflammatory.

It got her out of character.

So now officially dead the conversation about Ethel Kane.

I don't like talking about people.

It's like uncomfortable for me to say names, but dead that conversation.

Next one.

People are willing to say and do anything to get fame, to get clout, to get attention.

They lose themselves.

They will say racist shit, even though they're not racist, just just because they want a reaction.

Look at Lily Tino.

Since I'm name dropping, that's one motherfucker.

I don't have no problem name dropping.

Lily Tino is that trans person.

I don't even want to say trans because it feels like disrespectful to call Lily Tino trans.

That's someone who is performative,

trying to infuriate as many people as possible.

They're a fucking predator.

Like they've been caught talking to children.

They're in Disney World talking about what a trans surgery is, like cutting open a fucking corn dog in front of children and a place for children, you should be drowned.

Like immediately over that little bridge you were sitting next to.

I don't tolerate no type of sexualization around children.

That infuriates the fuck out of me.

As an Albanian, no, I don't, I can't take that.

Like

that's what makes me want to be the most violent and vicious ever.

One more thing I want to throw in, since we're going to just take it there, we're just talking.

We're just talking.

We're talking about everything that we would like to see in the world.

These school shooters, skin them alive publicly.

I think school shooters, the way to truly get the

rate of it down is

to stop giving these people what they want.

School shooters who survive committing that crime are publicized all over TV.

They go from feeling irrelevant, nobodies, to doing something that is so heinous, they're finally recognized.

The worst pain for a human being is to feel invisible.

A lot of people exact a lot of crazy shit because they want to feel seen.

These kids go shoot up schools and shoot other kids, which infuriates me.

Skin them alive publicly.

Let every parent, child, student, teacher who had to have their friend or their child killed or hurt by this school shooter.

Let them go take a chance at them with a fucking potato peeler.

And everybody gets to skin a piece of the motherfucker who shot up the school.

Stop making it this broadcasted thing where these people get the attention that they're after.

Make this a public mutilation.

Sorry.

A heinous crime.

People say don't match evil with evil.

Yes.

Yes.

America is so run amok right now because there is an absence of consequence.

Vicious people need to be communicated with on the level that they communicate.

Violence is a form of communication.

For someone to not be able to reason with logic and words, we can fight.

If I can tell you this thing is not okay, do not do this thing.

How many times are you going to say, stop shooting up schools

before you just start matching the communication level?

Speaking ain't doing shit.

Okay.

So killing these people is too easy.

Sorry, but if I have a child and they go to school and they're shot by a like a school shooter, I don't want that school shooter to be executed at the school.

I want them alive and I want to skin them.

I want it to be a long, drawn out, miserable death.

So you know, in any life you're reincarnated into, you never fucking do that again.

I want a soul karma scar in you.

If you do something like that, so no lifetime ever coming back, you're going to do it again.

I'll send you filleted, nice, and cut the fuck up to God himself.

And he'll probably say, thank you, Leo.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, there needs to be harsher punishment.

I don't know where I just got off on with that.

We were talking about Lily Tino.

Harsher punishment, Yes.

You're taking photos with women in a public bathroom without their consent.

You're taking pictures of children in the fucking bathroom.

You're a man.

At the end of the day, let's get into it.

Let's talk about the trans issues and all this and that.

I have friends who are trans.

I have fought physically to protect my trans friends.

Don't try and come at me with no transphobic fucking shit, but if it talks like a duck and walks like a duck, I'm going to call it a fucking duck.

Lily Tino is not trans.

Trans is you're diagnosed with gender dysphoria.

Okay.

People people who are trans typically get on hormones and transition lily tino is not someone who is transitioning they're dressing up to be a woman i'm sorry but like

i'm not that's what the it is from a science perspective you're not transitioning i hate that the word cross-dresser has become a slur I don't understand how that's a slur.

Like genuinely, I don't get it because there's drag queens.

I understand that.

There's trans people.

I understand that.

Cross-dressing is a man pretending to be a woman, not pretending, but dressing up as one.

That is the category Lilitino Morso fits into.

And now that I don't know if I say he or she, now that that putrid motherfucker, Predator, has come online and said, I was just saying and doing all of these things online because I wanted to be inflammatory.

I was hurt by being attacked so much.

I just kept doing these these things for attention this is the drug of social media this is the drug of fame these people will lose themselves will break laws will do crazy

for fame attention and clout whether it's good or bad why is bad attention appreciated i don't understand that Like the people who say, oh, any attention is good.

Like any press is good press.

Ew.

I don't like that.

I'm never going to do anything to like put myself in a negative light on purpose.

That's not how I roll.

And I'm someone who's got the clout and got the fame to be speaking on this shit.

You never see me desperate for attention.

You never see me desperate for clout.

I've never lost myself.

And I feel like that's something I respect about myself.

But I think that's why people like me on social media is because you can't bend me with money or with fame.

I'm never going to intentionally try to piss people off.

I don't intentionally try to be like inflammatory.

I do that enough on my own, as I am.

Like, I'm enough of a contradiction, and I piss people off enough just being who I am.

I don't take it to that extreme, but people start getting a little bit of attention or a little bit of clout, and they feel like they have to take it there.

And they just start doing all kinds of wild shit, and it's disgusting to watch.

And it's so performative, and that's something that I feel like everybody is getting like a keen ability for is to see through performative bullshit.

And I'm happy that it's it's happening because it is so draining and annoying to feel like you're the only person who sees through the bullshit i see through everything with people a lot of people think i'm too harsh or i'm too mean or i'm too rude but i just see more than you do with a lot of instances i see through bullshit and it's isolating to be in that like I talk to my sister about it and my family, the people closest to me, the people in my sub stack, we talk shit all the time.

we get it but anybody out there who feels like you're seeing through everything also you're not alone it's not just you i see it too and it's infuriating you see a lot of people falling for a lot of shit and it's like girl how do you not see it like how do people not see the performance of it from like a cosmic perspective i feel like the heat's getting turned up on people also who are performative people aren't able to like hold it anymore.

Like everybody's soul is kind of kicking up like the heat where it's like anybody who's trying to be inauthentic, you can't.

Like it's getting so incredibly uncomfortable.

I've been through my own periods of it of like hiding it and like trying to put on face, not for the camera, but like hide what I'm going through.

No, I just talk about it now.

And there's like this new wave of authenticity of people.

Trying to be more authentic because they see that's what people want now and it's still performative.

Like this one bitch, I saw her do like a rot day in the bed.

She sets up a ring light,

gets a bunch of food she orders from like a bunch of different restaurants, has a tray on her bed.

She's sitting up perfect.

She's got a full face of fucking makeup on.

And she's like, I just wanted to be authentic with you guys.

I just wanted to show you what a day in my life looks like when I'm down.

Like, I'm really down today.

I'm having a rot day in the bed.

So I wanted to show you what it looks like when I binge eat.

Huh?

Like, your authentic

is still fake as shit.

You're setting up a ring light.

You're doing a face, a full face of makeup.

You're setting up all your shit on a tray.

You have something under it to prop it toward the camera.

No, girl, that's not true.

It's not the real reality of it.

And a lot of people talking about steroids, a lot of like gym bros and like people in the fitness community, everybody wants to be authentic and talk about using steroids.

They say, oh, yeah,

I've done performance enhancing drugs.

I've taken testosterone.

That's how they get away with saying they're enhanced.

I've taken testosterone, girl.

You've also taken Trend and Anivar and every other fucking steroid, but you're just wanting to do a half truth and half admit because your body looks so

enhanced.

You're past the point of being able to lie and say that you're natural.

The whole fake natty trend, you're all fake, fucking natural.

I've taken shit.

I've just been honest about it.

But people get to a point their body looks so crazy good.

You realize how stupid you look to keep saying you're natural.

So you say, okay, I'm going to come clean.

I've taken testosterone.

Girl, you've taken everything else too.

I know you're on a cycle of anivar right now.

I know you are.

I've met most of them.

They're all on fucking drugs.

But the whole thing is like this new authenticity wave.

It's still fake.

And I think, like I said, I'm getting like faith and hope that people are seeing through the shit.

Like people are feeling the itch because you like the performative shit's not working no more these people who are doing the mukbangs and doing like shocking content is exhausting like every tick tock shop ad is stop don't scroll like everybody's so desperate to catch your attention the attention grabbing like oh i gambled a million dollars come watch me lose it like nobody gives a no more i'm gonna go buy a lamborghini and give one away no one cares everybody's seen it everybody's given away the shit everybody's gambled the money everybody's done everything it's so obvious and everybody's tired with it.

I'm tired with it.

I don't find none of it like shocking or interesting anymore.

If you don't actually want to watch it, it's very clear now.

I feel like people are like exhausted and I'm exhausted as a, like I'm on social media, but I'm also a consumer.

Like I watch things here and there.

I don't have nothing to watch no more.

I'm fucking bored.

And I also, being behind the scenes.

I know who's getting paid to do what.

I know what's an ad and what's not.

All these influencers talking about political shit, they get paid to talk about it.

Sorry.

You can tell by how they talk.

They all have the same script and their team will help them change it a little.

They're full of shit.

Nobody's fighting for what you think they are.

Nobody values your feelings like you think they do.

They're paid to pretend.

Most of these people don't even like these products.

And I feel like it's so obvious now, even like you guys are able to pick up on it.

But from my end, it's insufferable.

Like with books.

people write books,

and it's like every single book is just to promote someone's coaching course or to promote their other businesses on the side.

Nothing is just a book to give you information.

Everything's an upsell, everything is a funnel, everything is for another hidden motive.

And most books now are so full of fluff and bullshit.

Your book has to be a certain number of pages to qualify for the bestseller list.

Why you think every book is a new york times bestseller is because they pay to be on it you invest a certain amount of money with the publishers and they will pay for enough books at your launch to qualify you to hit the number for new york times bestseller nobody's books are selling like you think they are it's just an image you see all these influencers writing books you got ghostwriters out the ass i've been approached by all the publishers they tell me the whole setup of how this goes and just the people who are reading books I know you're frustrated when you're reading books.

Like, why is this all just basic cookie-cutter information?

Why is everything dragged out?

Like, the point, it's like nobody seems to hit the fucking point in a book nowadays.

Only good books are old books.

Everybody's trying to upsell you into their coaching, or they're trying to drag out the book.

It's a money ploy so they can hit the New York Times bestseller list, make more money, and make it seem like they have a better career and they're more sophisticated and more loved and they have more of an interactive following and actual engagement than they do.

A lot of people's engagement is shit and they like buy followers and they buy a lot of things.

The whole book thing, it's infesting itself into every single thing with clothing, with manufacturing.

All these companies use the same blanks and they just slap their label on it and sell it.

A blank is just a garment that these factories produce in bulk.

When people wanna, it's like white labeling kind of like a lot of supplements.

That's also a big thing going on.

Supplements are white labeled.

It's the same supplement, just different branding and different logos.

Look up white labeling supplements.

It's all the same shit.

You just pay to put your logo on it.

They ship it to you.

You pay for a little box and it's just fake bullshit.

There's no good products no more because everybody's white labeling.

With the clothing, nobody's making custom shit no more.

All the things that I'm making are custom shit.

That's why it's taking so goddamn long.

It's frustrating.

And it takes a lot more money and a lot more time.

People want everything fast.

Everybody wants to drop a clothing line, drop this, drop that.

And it's like infuriating because I'm dropping merch

this

Sunday.

I might tell you the passcode at the end of this, but I'm going to tell you it this Sunday.

You can pre-order it.

But my whole point of bringing this up, shameless plug while I'm at it, people making clothing is all the same garment, just a new label slapped on it.

And they're trying to charge you $150, $200

for a shirt that costs them $15, $20

max.

Sometimes it's like 10 bucks.

There's a lot of new like fitness brand clothing.

You know, all the ones I'm talking about.

Every single fitness brand's clothing,

all of their shit is 100% polyester or like 5% cotton, 95% polyester.

It's all the cheapest bullshit.

$5 for their shirts and they're charging you 80.

$10 for their sweatpants, they're charging you 100.

It's hard to find clothes that are good quality.

Everything is just so like shit and spit.

Like they're just trying to like get everything out as much as they can.

There's like a loss of detail and care put into things.

I don't know why that rant just came out, but like everything's just performative and see-through and it's fake and it's bullshit.

And I'm like, my God, I want to talk about it because you aren't alone in it.

I know we're all feeling it.

And I hope me sharing some of these back end things can make you understand it more.

But with all the performative stuff, let me take a break from the rant and I'll go into like the deeper psychological and like spiritual things I've been going through and realizing the past couple of weeks.

So in the beginning, when I talked about like matching the performance of the waiter, oof,

this is a cycle I've gotten caught in when you're the one that's responsible for other people's emotions and feelings.

You have a sense of guilt when people are performing.

And I noticed it was a source of feeling drained for so long in my life of like, like you go to a restaurant, like I said, and someone's just doing the goddamn most.

And if you don't match their fake overexcitement,

you are considered the asshole in a situation.

Like you're considered the bad guy.

You're the rude one.

If you just want to go sit down and eat and not have this whole fucking performance, you just want to order your food.

You don't want to deal with them having a five-minute spiel of welcome to the restaurant.

What can I get?

We're going to start with this.

Shut the fuck up, girl.

I want a Diet Coke.

Thank you.

I was at a buffet the other day.

This is like a personal example.

I was at like the little Brazilian steakhouse and they have like a little bar where you go up to the little buffet, you get your shit.

Okay, cool.

And then you sit down and the meat comes.

I was starving.

And this waiter comes up and he's just on this whole spiel.

He's like, have you guys been here before?

And I was like, yes.

And he still keeps going like we are new.

And I'm like waiting on you to shut the fuck up so I can say, can I get a Diet Coke, please?

And I'm going to go to the bar.

I'll be like, I want to go fucking eat.

It's sitting there staring at me.

I'm starving.

I get hangry really bad.

But I'm the bad guy and I'm seen as like rude when I don't match people's performance.

I'm going to tip you 40 fucking percent if you just leave me alone.

Leave me alone.

Let me go eat, please.

But that kind of unraveled because there's certain people.

This goes into so many aspects of life where when you don't match people's performance and you don't absolve people of their guilt, you're the bad guy.

You get attacked.

you get shamed because they need to feel validated.

A couple of people recently I've had to distance myself from,

one was a close family member, and

they feel guilt for how they've treated me and what they continue to do.

And

they text me a lot when they feel guilty and they want reassurance.

When they want to text back, it's because they feel guilty and they know what they're up to and they feel bad.

So they text me because they want my response of love you too.

Good night.

Happy 4th of July.

Whatever the fuck it is.

They want some kind of response and acknowledgement from me as reassurance that we're still fine and we're still in good standing.

When people are up to shit, their guilt, they pretend that they're reaching out to check on you.

They're not checking on you.

They're checking if you're mad at them.

They're doing a little assessment of like, are we good?

Are you mad?

Do you still like feel okay about me?

You become their puppet for reassurance.

And I carried so much guilt for so long because I felt responsible.

Like I was punishing certain people if I didn't reply because they would attack me and say, I'm an asshole.

I'm selfish because I didn't respond to them.

They were never checking on me.

They felt guilty about what they were doing.

They wanted reassurance.

They wanted their comfort emotionally.

So they would use me to get their comfort.

I was responsible to make sure that they didn't feel guilty for what the fuck they were doing and they have done.

I'm not available to that no more.

And it actually pisses me off that I feel guilty for it.

Sometimes I've broken it.

I might feel the guilt, but I don't act on it.

I don't text nobody back no more when I know what's going on.

There's certain people I feel obligated to reply to, like even business people and certain things who have like done me wrong and they text me all the time and I would get so stressed out like if I don't reply they're gonna think I'm mad at them then they're gonna say I'm selfish then they're gonna say the fame has gotten to my head then they're gonna attack me and belittle me and try and attack my character because I didn't respond to them after you deal with a narcissist and you're at someone's disposal for their emotional needs and their emotional like stability when you're made responsible for that that's not something you could just get rid of.

And that's something I realized has carried into so much of my life.

And I'm breaking it.

Every time it comes up, I'm snapping it like a fucking wishbone on the turkey.

I'm not doing that no more.

If you wanted to be in contact with me, if you wanted respect from me, you give it.

As soon as you disrespect me or as soon as you discard me or don't treat me good, yeah.

I'm not going to be making it a priority.

Once I'm not your priority and it's clear, I'm not going to make you a priority.

And I don't care how guilty you fucking feel.

You texting me to pretend to check on me just to make sure we're still in good standing, sit there in the silence.

And that's one thing I've learned is silence is not punishment.

And I was taught from a young age.

to not match people's performance, to not take their emotions as my responsibility to make sure that they don't feel bad for what they've done or what they're doing.

I'm the asshole.

I'm the bad guy for not doing that.

No, silence is the best thing you can give somebody.

And it's not punishment.

It's punishment for them, but it puts their emotions back in their hands.

People have been silent to me before.

And what did I do?

Reflect and grow

and have my emotions be back in my hand where I'm not dependent on somebody texting me back to feel good about myself and to be able to function.

My guilt, guilt, I learned how to deal with it.

I learned how to deal with the silence.

And for you to give somebody silence is not punishment.

I used to feel bad for ghosting people.

Fuck you.

I don't owe you a response or an explanation.

I've learned more when I've been given silence.

So I'm going to give you that.

If you lost access to me and my energy, You're not being punished.

You're being given yourself.

What you don't like about that period being by yourself is yours to hold.

I'm no longer there to hold it and manage it for you.

If you got guilt, you could sit there and fucking figure out why.

The same way I had to sit there and figure out why I had guilt is because I was taking your guilt and making it my fucking problem.

I felt guilt for making you sit with your guilt.

What the fuck is that?

That is a...

dynamic that I'm so happy I'm finally breaking, but I wanted to talk about it.

So y'all don't feel so crazy.

This is something that like happens early in childhood typically or if you've dealt with someone who's narcissistic this whole like blame shame game but like it's very painful when people who can't like hold you or see you

you it doesn't matter how much good you do for them It doesn't matter how good you treat them.

The one time you're not there for them, you're demonized.

It's a control tactic to get you to take care and take responsibility for their emotions.

Well, I had a bad day and I'm pissed off.

You're selfish because you didn't reply to me.

Who do you think you are to ignore me?

Motherfucker, I'm Leo Skeppy.

Who the fuck are you to think you can speak to me like that?

That's the energy now.

I'm not an unfair person.

I'm a very fair person, but I maintain myself and you need to do that too.

I don't just like cut people off or distance myself for no reason.

If you ever notice a shift in my energy towards you, there's a reason.

It's up to you to figure out why.

I'm not going to sit here and handhold you and baby you.

I got caught up in that for so long, trying to explain to people.

And then it turns into a fight.

You said this or did this that bothered the fuck out of me.

And then you're going to try and attack me and shame me for what you did because of my reaction to it.

Okay, I'm done talking about it.

Go do it.

Go be happy with it.

Fine.

That's the biggest thing that people hate is.

When you love them and you care for them and you prioritize them and they disrespect you or they make it clear that you're not a priority for them.

As long as you're trying to explain, fight for them, get them to care about you, explain why it hurt you, they're happy.

As soon as you cut the cord of all the energy going toward them and prioritize yourself, then they got a real fucking problem with it.

Then they're going to demonize you.

There's so much reassurance people get when you're trying to explain things to them, when your energy is still tied to them, trying to get them to make you a priority.

They get a sense of esteem from that cut that cord immediately become your own priority prioritize yourself and watch their energy shift toward you when that cord gets snatched out of them and they're no longer being fed your energy is when people go insane because if you really think about it with certain people certain people you're thinking of well i i feel like i should explain why this thing hurt me If you go explain why something hurt you to someone who doesn't give a fuck and shown that they haven't.

Okay, what are you doing?

You're reconnecting the energetic cord to keep continuing conversation with them.

It leaves you stuck connected to them energetically, right?

Okay.

Trying to explain it.

Well, you said this and it hurt me.

Most people can't reflect and see themselves.

They got to attack you, make you the problem.

And then it goes back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.

Cut the fucking cord.

Let yourself out of it.

That is the best thing I've learned to do ever in my life is snatch every single energetic cord out of every single person.

If someone does something to you and there is no way to repair it, do you just want them to own up to it and see that they hurt you so you can soothe your ego a little bit?

What do you actually want from the conversation?

Do you want repair to be made?

Can they actually say anything that will make you feel better?

If not, cut it.

You can walk away with no closure.

I've done it plenty of times.

I've had people I've cut off that have cut me off, never talk to them again, and never will.

I've had people die.

There is a way to move forward without closure.

It just sucks, but it stops stinging.

That's the biggest thing I wish I heard a long time ago.

I've always operated like that.

But when you're yanking these energetic cords out of people, if you don't want shit from them, cut the cord.

You don't need to have a conversation.

You don't need to talk about it.

You don't need to explain.

You don't need to be responsible to make sure that they understand why you're pulling away.

That's just lending them more energy.

I was, I caught myself up in this fucking thing of like, oh, I need to explain why I'm going to pull back so they don't feel so bad about it.

That's you being responsible for their emotions.

Snatch yourself away.

It doesn't matter.

If there's nothing they can do to maintain the connection with you, if you want to pull away regardless, there's no point in explaining at all.

You can be polite.

You can leave it how it is.

There's no point in like fighting back and forth.

You can just pull off, cut the energy, whatever.

But there's no reason to like explain to them.

Why do you feel the need to explain why someone hurt you to justify and explain to them why it's okay that you're pulling away?

Because you feel guilt for leaving them and what they did.

It's not your guilt to carry.

And I'm kind of talking to myself on that one.

There's a lot more I want to go into.

I'll probably save it for next week, but one more thing I want to talk about with criticism and like certain things people say.

This is something that cracked me in the head real nice recently.

People,

when they say something about you that is so obviously not true, they're describing themselves.

My mom is someone who is very, very

looks after everybody, takes care of everybody, like the most selfless person when she loves you.

She was in an argument with somebody.

And the person she was arguing with is the most self-centered, oblivious, stupid motherfucker you can imagine.

and that person called my mom selfish it's always about you everything's always about you the first time my mom set a boundary with them

and i realized in that moment with my mom she's describing herself

she's not calling you selfish what people are saying about you when it's so off the wall it's so inaccurate people who are around you who see you who are close to you if they criticize you about something and you're like that's the exact opposite of who i am they're describing themselves because someone said something to me recently and I was like I don't know why that bothered me so fucking bad

but a certain word I was like no I wasn't offended and that's the whole thing like with your emotions it's like your ticket into your intuition to like piercing through the veil you will see people so much clearer when you pay attention to your emotions a certain word was said to me And I wasn't offended by it because I knew it was so off.

But I was like, the thing that's bothering me is the fact that you felt comfortable enough to say that to me,

and just honoring that I was so pissed off by that and like upset by it, not sitting here freaking out and shaming myself.

Oh, Leo, you're reading into it.

I went down that whole route of like you're reading too much into it, maybe you're too sensitive.

No,

people like me and you have a keen ability to pick up on

things from our soul.

What I always thought was me being too hypersensitive and oversensitive, I was sent into this life with standards and with a sensitivity beyond words

because it lifts me into the standards I'm actually meant to be into.

Anything that is not up to my standards will come out immediately.

It comes out over nothing.

Other people would look at me like, I'm overreacting.

No, I see more than you do.

And I've done the whole thing with myself where I say I'm overreacting and I try and brush it off.

Don't ever brush it off if it causes a big emotional reaction in you.

Because the certain word that was said to me,

I honored it instead of attacking myself for being too reactive or being too like sensitive.

I am overly sensitive and it's saved my life and made my life what it is, which is better than I could ever imagine.

So leaning into that sensitivity, I sat with that word for a second and that motherfucker unveiled so much to me about the other person.

I was like, whoa,

There's my confirmation to never get mad that I'm oversensitive.

My soul was tipping me off to something and it pierced the veil.

It like blew past all of what I thought about somebody.

And I saw like so much more that I didn't see.

And I was like, whoa,

cool.

Like it sucked and it hurt.

But like I was like, okay, cool.

Nice.

I'm not oversensitive.

I see shit other people don't.

And that's just what I've had to come to terms with.

And I'm not one of these people who's just like sitting here like, oh, I know above everybody.

I talk to my mom and my sister about everything.

If I ever overreact about something, I call them.

Either we're all three whack jobs or we all see things the exact same.

But we do see things the exact same.

Especially my sister.

Like there's certain things that we just get that other people don't get where it's like, it's not what you said.

It revealed, okay, you to just say this thing.

You felt comfortable enough to say it which means you do not respect me as much as i thought you did or this is your first test to see where you are with me and if i let this one disrespectful thing you said go i know what that leads into and the disrespect that will come after it once you let one thing slide it raises the threshold you increase your tolerance to disrespect i've talked about that in the past and other episodes but like for people to say one little thing at the beginning if it stings set that motherfucker straight.

Don't let it keep going.

Don't just brush it under the rug.

Oh, I'm too dramatic.

No, what you said was fucking weird.

Okay.

Sit with it.

Don't shame yourself about it.

But another thing with noticing little things like that, sometimes it's people's way of trying to minimize you because they feel jealous.

When people...

Say something and it's a little bit disrespectful, even if it's kind of joking, you need to pay attention to when it stings because your soul will let you know if it was an attempt to minimize you.

If someone feels the need to minimize you, even in a joking way, they perceive you as a threat.

Therefore, there's a sense of jealousy there.

And if someone sees you as a threat, they're not going to be able to love you or care for you.

Friend, relationship, whatever it is.

So

it lets you know that.

And it lets you know the way that people are actually looking at you.

So, like I said, people can try and sit here and tell me, oh, you read too much into shit.

I haven't been wrong.

So

I guess I'm oversensitive.

And you're not sensitive enough.

But with this, also, I had to face something I was worried about because I felt impossible to deal with.

Like the standards that I live by and the way that I treat people and the relationships that I do have that are solid are like my saving grace that like I don't need to question myself because I started to get like a little worried.

I was like, am I just impossible?

I started to get frustrated with how sensitive I am and how much I read into things and pick up on things.

I was like, am I just an impossible person?

Like truthfully, am I just impossible to be friends with, to date, to anything?

Like as detailed and as hypersensitive as I am, I feel like I'm the only person who can live up to my standards with ease.

I'm not performing with my standards.

I'm not performing with how I treat people.

It's not hard for me to have the integrity and the character and like treat people people the way that I do, but it seems hard for other people.

The couple of relationships in my life with my mom, with my sister, and there's a couple of my friends, we've never had an issue because they see as much as I do.

So people that can't hold me and can't see me and people who aren't actually at the standards that I'm at and like live by that.

It makes you feel impossible when you're dealing with people who can't reflect it.

But the saving grace that I have with the few friendships and the people in my family that I'm like close to, they see it the same way that I do.

They're not performative with their love.

They're not performative with their respect for me.

And I'm not performative with mine.

Like,

it makes me sad sometimes because I'm like, the level of connection I feel with these few people,

no way

this is going to be able to be recreated.

Like every person I've tried to talk to, be friends with, deal with, it's like, you think they're like that, and then they're not.

But the other thing with the performance, with the standards thing, a lot of people feel the need to disrespect you when they've performed to get close to you.

When people perform certain characteristics and character traits and ways of being and ways of treating you, when they're performing that, there comes a point where they feel entitled to be able to relax.

So I have a curse with my life.

Everybody I meet, if you're meant to get out of my life, you will be out within three months.

It's the three month curse.

Me, my mom, and my sister, we all have it.

You got three months.

If you're meant to be in my life, if you make it past three months, you're good.

If any problem's going to happen, I don't care how perfect things seem

right before the three-month mark, you will be out.

It's like the pressure cooker of being around me is I'm so honest and transparent and authentic and just like genuine with the way that I love people.

I'm also equally as fucking dangerous.

So it's like being around that accurate of a mirror will flare up any insecurity, any inauthenticity, any shadow side you got.

It flares it up for me too.

People coming around me trigger me to constantly grow and change.

But if you don't do the same thing, you'll be weeded out immediately.

And like the people in my life who I'm close to, we mirror the most shit to each other and we're constantly changing and evolving.

But it's hard to hang with that.

If you're not actually committed to self-growth and you're not actually committed to awareness, you can't hang.

Like, it's like being in a fucking pressure cooker.

It's not fine.

But like I was saying, people that are performing to try and like

be close to you and get close to you, they feel like they have invested so much because they've been performing.

My genuine love, they've been performing.

their version of love when they're trying to match it to mine.

It's exhausting for people who don't actually love like I do.

So they get to a point where they need to level the playing field of like all right now i've invested so much i've performed so much i've put so much energy into this now i get to say some slick shit no you don't because i don't feel that entitlement to you i don't feel the entitlement to say something to hurt you so that's just the way that i see things

i think i'm done for this week we got a lot more to go into next week this week's been like cooking the shit out of me i've been working on my merch site And I bed rotted for like two days and did nothing but work on that.

But pre-orders will drop this Sunday.

So I know I'm posting this late.

I'm posting this on Wednesday.

But this Sunday, I'm going to post the pre-orders for the merch so you can make sure you get everything that you want to get.

And then next week, I'm telling my podcast people early.

And then next week, I'm dropping it public where everybody can audi.

But I want to make sure everybody from the podcast gets what they want too.

I have a couple of new designs that I'm coming out with.

Not Above Violence and Aware and Aggravated are both coming back with like a little bit of the elevation, little twist in them.

You'll see.

You'll see.

I'm so excited for it.

But I'll leave the link to everything you need in the description.

On On my social media, the website, you can sit there and look at the unlock page.

But that's all I got for this week's episode.

I feel good.

I got to let it all out.

Hope it all made sense.

If you made it this far in the episode, comment.

What emoji would you want to comment?

Comment a credit card emoji.

If you agree with everybody on social media, should have to put their fucking driver's license and confirm their name.

Not that you can see everybody's driver's license, but just their government name is the name of their account.

No more of this user 1357 talking about everybody.

No.

So that's what we'll do.

The people who made it this far, comment a little credit card emoji.

Also, credit card because of the merch.

But that's it.

I love you all so bad, everybody.

Be safe.

Take care of yourself.

And I'll talk to you guys next Sunday.

And if you made it this far, the password so you can order it now

is merch and shit.

Okay, links in the description.

If you want to pre-order the merch this early, go for it.

But love you so bad.

Bye.

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