Kindness Over Cruelty

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Hello, everybody.

It's Wednesday, so you know what that means.

Another

hump day, yeah.

Hump.

Hump, hump.

Hump, hump, hump, hump it up.

So that means it's another episode of Kate and Ty Break It Down.

Woo!

Woo!

Don't forget to like and rate and review our show, please.

That helps us out tremendously.

You can even write a negative review.

Yeah, whatever you want to do.

Whatever you want to do.

I mean, there's been some negative reviews on there, and I'm like, okay.

No, did you see that?

There's like a whole thing.

It's like a, that's like a whole, like, that's a plan.

They're going to like spam the negative.

Everyone go to Kate and Ty's podcast.

I saw that.

And negative start or whatever.

I don't know what they do.

They're like, it's a whole plan.

Like, get together.

Give it a negative review.

I'm like, okay, if that helps you sleep better at night, I guess go for it.

But

I think a lot of people like us.

So whatever.

Right.

It's still good.

I mean, so you better get a bigger audience to do the negative stuff.

Cause that shit is just dumb to me.

Like, I don't even ever take the time out of my day to like review any, even if I hate stuff.

I'm actually really bad at that.

What?

You know how like you buy something on Amazon and they'll send you like a thing saying, please, we really need you to let us know how was your recent purchase?

And I literally just, I archive it, delete it.

I mean, I don't ever do that for Amazon.

I feel like I rate stuff like when I buy things off of like Etsy because I feel like those are people like making things.

True.

Yeah, Etsy's a little different, though, because it's like artists.

Right, but as far as like shit on Amazon, no, I don't ever review anything, even like negative things.

So it's just funny for people to like come on our page and like our podcast page and stuff and leave negative reviews.

But it's like we have so many five stars.

No, but it's like a it's like a rally cry.

Like, there's a, I think it's like, you know, how like there's all those pages that, like, all they do is snark on people or whatever.

Yes.

And it's like a whole, it's like, it's like, listen, rally your armies and go down vote and go dislike and unstar and whatever the hell it is on the podcast.

And I'm like, there's so many other better things you could be rallying for.

That's so true.

Especially this day and age.

Like, yeah.

Hello, we have kids being fucking deported and shit.

Like, come on now.

Like, that's true.

But you want to dislike our page or go give it really bad ratings like whatever

go for it like people say like one of them is um we they just like they just use certain words to sound educated what i mean i don't know i mean i i just speak i don't know

maybe that's just the way we talk i mean listen i can sound real stupid too I mean, I'm pretty sure you can find someone that I found.

I mean, you know what I mean?

I have my moments.

I have my moments.

Definitely.

And then it's just like, yeah, like you said, that whole movement.

But I think that goes into

what I was going to talk about is about how

I'm like, I love TikTok.

I love strolling and watching my videos and stuff.

And you're very much as it, you are like, TikTok is toxic.

I've seen it firsthand.

I've witnessed it happen.

I mean, I get where you're coming from as

like some things on TikTok can be toxic.

How many hours?

do you think people on average spend a day on TikTok?

Four.

Four.

I don't believe it.

I think it's higher than that.

You think so?

Because, yeah, because it's one of those things where, like, even I like find myself and I'm like, dude, this is all right.

All right.

All right.

You're scrolling or scrolling or scrolling.

You know what it reminds me of?

You know that study that came out about cocomelon?

And it's like not good for kids because it's like every five seconds something different's happening or the colors and all flashing.

I swear to God, it's like the adult version of that.

Like it's, it consumes the brain so much that you think you've only been on there for 20 minutes.

Nah, dude.

Nah.

I've been hearing your little shit coming over there from the corner of your phone for about two hours, dude.

I do.

I mean, I liked, I love TikTok.

It's funny.

But I know, I do understand about what you mean.

Like, and I feel like this is with any social media platform.

People just sit behind screens and they say whatever they want to say.

And I know for a shit.

I mean, I know for a shit.

I know for a shit.

See, we're real educated around here.

We say big words like shit.

Don't sound very educated in that moment.

No, but I know for a fact that most of these people that sit there and say things online, they would not be coming up to us in the streets and saying anything to our face.

If anything, they would probably, oh my god, I love you guys.

Or they would just, I don't know, see a picture and say, look at this stupid piece of shit we saw walking down the street today or something.

But I will say, I think what it comes down to, though, is the anonymity, the anonymity, whatever you want to call it, the anonymous part of it.

Like,

it's the fact that it's anonymous, which I feel like almost gives people this like freedom to be, oh, well, I'm anonymous with a little picture.

No one really knows who I am.

I can't.

User 34562.

Yeah, I can be cruel.

And I'm like, you know what's so weird is that what I've seen is like they're so addicted to like being unnecessarily cruel.

Like you would never be that cruel to some random person you saw.

You know what I'm saying?

They must be highly miserable in their own day-to-day life because.

Well, there's a quote that they say, your judgments of other people are what you're not facing yourself, like what your own insecurities are, right?

Or how you feel about yourself.

Yeah, so if you see someone like, oh, God, she's so, you know, her hair looks like shit.

It's like you're actually self-projecting that you don't think your hair looks that good.

Like, there's a quote.

I can't remember who said it, but.

I mean, because honestly, it's just like it's online bullying.

It is.

Which is super harmful.

But you think about back in the day, like when we were kids and stuff with bullies, nine out of ten times, it's because that bully was not happy within their selves or something's going on at their home in their home or like something bad is just going on with them.

And I think it's that's the same thing.

But I do notice that.

But today, nowadays, you can't get away from it.

Well, no, and that's why a lot of young people, and that's why a lot of young people are struggling with their mental health, committing suicide.

Who's that girl?

That girl that on TikTok?

Whatever.

I mean, her husband was, was, it was devastating.

She was.

And I want people who are listening to this and who want to go on TikTok and comment on all of our videos and just be just taking the time out of your day to be so unnecessarily cruel.

Like, how is this what we're doing as a society?

How are we, how do we end up here?

Because she is dead.

Yeah, she was, her name was Fox Girl on TikTok.

Oh.

It's devastating.

Yeah, did you see her husband's video?

And it was all from online bullying.

All from online.

And actually, I guess what it comes down to is now I guess her family's going to, is trying to sue these like Reddit snark pages.

They absolutely absolutely should and it's interesting because I'm like what is I didn't even know what a snark page was and then I'm like oh this is what a snark page is what is it a snark page is pretty much like someone will like go and make like it'd be the equivalent of someone making a Instagram account saying I hate Caitlin okay it's just all it's just everyone comes together on that one on that page and just they just come together in the same hatred and just you know whatever and so I guess that they're trying to sue uh the family is trying to sue the snark pages because it's it's direct you know, it's relevant to why she did what she did.

And it's like, dude, I think people are so used to having this anonymous

cloud over them and it's pretty much an armor.

I mean, there's armor when you're anonymous and just talking shit online.

And so it's like, it's

bad.

You think you're kind of protected because you don't have like the face-to-face.

But also, there's been cases that I've even seen on TikTok of like this young girl that committed suicide because of bullying.

And her family and stuff are going after those girls that were bullying her and they're suing them.

So it's like you can't, you can get in trouble for being an online bully, especially if somebody takes their own life because of things that you've said.

And my whole thing is that what is the point of it?

I understand you, you may have, you know how many opinions I have every day when I'm watching stuff online.

I even see stuff about people we know and I'm like, you know, I have these opinions in my head, which is normal.

That's normal.

We're all normal human beings.

We judge.

It's part

It's part of our survival.

Right, but I don't go out of my way.

Yeah, I don't go out of my way to comment and just say something so unnecessarily cruel that I know could potentially hurt someone else's feelings or someone else could see it.

And it just doesn't, I don't understand.

I don't get the motivation behind it.

Like, what is the motivation behind it?

Like, what?

Maybe it makes them feel big for 2.5 seconds.

I don't know.

And I don't, if you're getting joy out of hurting somebody else, I think you need to look inwards and probably get some help.

Well, I think what

it's like, it's like almost like a cool thing nowadays to not have empathy.

It's like, when did this happen?

When the hell did it happen to where it's cool to just not have empathy for people?

Like,

I could honestly say that was wrong, what you did, whatever, whatever, but I still have empathy for that person.

Yeah, just for people.

Just for people in general.

I don't know what battles they're going through.

I don't know what they're fighting day to day, in and out.

I don't know any of that stuff.

So it's like, dude.

And sympathy for people.

yeah why are we not why i just don't because i'll tell you what that i mean i as a mom i try to enforce that in my kids all the time about being there for the small people and if you see certain things going on stand up for those you know people or whatever um because i think it's also i think it's something that is taught you know like you're taught how to show empathy or how to not or you know any whatever it is and i feel like if there's you know if there's anybody that's listening to this that maybe is struggling with something or struggling with their mental health, mental, mental health, don't forget, um, you know, you can call the suicide hotline, and the number is 988, 988, and you can also text 988, which I think is great because the generation doesn't want to talk all the time, so text.

And just because you text them or you call them doesn't mean they're going to show, you know, have cops sent to your house or anything like that.

Um, so don't be fearful of it, but they're meant to help.

Um, and so you can text them or you can call them, and And the number is 988.

And I think it's super important to put that stuff out there because they can give you information and leads to things in your area, therapists, or even if it's you just need to talk to somebody for a minute.

I also think there's a responsibility on other people.

Like I've, now, when I, what I have commented on is when I've scrolled and I've seen an unnecessarily cruel comment, and a lot of people are liking it.

And so I'll comment on that and be like, this is just like pretty much like, I'll be the only person, I guess, here to say this was really wrong.

Like, people are all fucked up for saying what you're saying.

Yeah.

Like, we need more of those people.

If those people

are,

but if those people could be louder, we need those people to be louder than these mean people.

And so, please, if you see stuff, call it out.

Say that was wrong.

That's unnecessary.

What's your, what's your problem?

Yeah.

You know, and I think, I think one thing that bothers me a lot, though, is just like the, it's the body stuff, too.

It's like, dude, how are we here at 2025 and we're still just commenting on people's weight and their appearance and the way they look?

And it's like, dude, I can't.

And then most of the time you go to their picture and it's like a picture of a duck or, you know,

or, you know, it's just like, what?

Well, I literally just make sense.

I mean, you know, I screenshot certain stuff and I'll like go to their, you know what I mean?

And it's crazy because people are like, oh, damn, man.

Oh, that girl's huge.

And I'll go to them.

And, dude, they're, they're literally an obese person.

And I'm like, so what the fuck is going on, dude?

Like, what?

So like that one quote that goes back to that quote.

Whatever you're harshly criticizing someone else for,

if that's actually a really good indicator to go internal, okay, whoa, like shadow work stuff.

Okay,

pause.

I'm, I'm, you can, I think it's hard, though, if, if you're so used to criticizing other people, judging them, being mean, and then you're surrounding yourself with friends and family who also do the same thing, how is it, it's, it's difficult to like pull yourself out of it and ask and actually be like self-reflective and be like, whoa, dude, that was, I'm being harsh for no reason.

Right.

Like, you know what I mean?

So it's like, yeah, you don't know anything, you don't know any different.

And like you said, and then if you're surrounded with people who are doing the same thing, you feed off of one another.

It's weird.

And that's gross.

I don't want to be miserable and gross like that.

Sorry.

And the negativity that I see is just like, oh, this is so damaging.

Like, see, in your opinion, you think TikTok is talk more toxic than any other social media app?

I do.

Really?

Unregulated.

I feel like Twitter is horrible.

X, whatever, horrible.

Instagram is horrible.

People's comments and shit like that.

I feel like they're all

toxic.

I guess it can be.

I guess I'm not saying the comment section or the comment section.

People are going to have opinions.

I think it's the algorithm that feeds the people because,

you know, Instagram and others, there's regulations there.

Even X has like reading notes where it's like, oh, this is a lie.

This is a misconception.

This isn't true.

Or Facebook will have a fact checker, whatever the case is.

So you mean

it can be more toxic as far as like...

Because it gets all the mean people together.

Or do you mean like the people that are posting like conspiracy theories or fake things?

No, no, no, no, not just conspiracy theories, I'm just saying people who are mean, oh, whatever.

TikTok has no regulations, so it'll when you scroll next, it'll probably be about that same person you just talk shit about.

Oh, that nasty bitch, and then there'll be more of her, more of that nasty.

So, what it does is no, no, no, listen, it collects the mean people together, so they go, oh, yeah, I don't agree with that person either.

Oh, I hate that bitch too, and so that person now, their feed.

Do you see what I'm saying?

So, they're, so what it's doing is it's collecting the algorithms, collecting all the mean people into one little,

you know, one little avenue and they're all together.

So then they're all commenting on the same stuff on different videos.

No, I mean, yeah, I get, I get what you're saying as far as pulling up the algorithm to feed whatever they're, to feed whatever their narratives are or what they're thinking or saying.

To you, my darling.

No, to you.

The roses were living the dream.

More champagne for me, people.

Until it all came crashing down.

He got fired.

Buy it.

From the director of Meet the Parents.

You're a failure when don't like that.

If you need a shoulder or an inner thigh to lean on.

On August 29th.

I just want the house.

We want everything.

Wow.

Stop.

Let's go.

And see the roses.

These people.

The roses.

Rated R.

Under 17, not a minute without parents.

In theaters everywhere, August 29th.

And actually, you do have a point because with some stuff on TikTok, they're very strict.

Like you can't do certain things and lies, you can't say certain things, you know, stuff like that.

But like, for instance, my own TikTok page, I've noticed that a couple of my videos have been like flagged and I've gotten a strike for them.

And I guess, oh, really?

Yeah, and I guess if you get, and I guess if you get so many strikes on TikTok, like they'll deactivate your account, like permanently deactivate it.

No, but what's bullshit is that it's literally videos that I've posted of us sitting down with people for our podcast and interviewing them.

That's because, okay, like I said.

Well, I know, like people like mass reporting or whatever.

But then I will report on

like people's videos that are spreading misinformation, false, or even harassing and bullying.

And they'll let them leave their video up.

And so I wrote TikTok.

I was like, this is crazy.

I've reported this multiple times and it doesn't get taken down.

But then you have my videos taken down of something that I own.

Yeah.

And it's literally me in that video talking to somebody else.

And we're not talking about sexual assault or child abuse or any kind of trigger warning or anything.

Like, make it make sense.

It's because there's power in numbers and what tick tock and the algorithm that it does you comment or watch a video about hating on somebody else for so long that's your algorithm now it's going to feed you that stuff yeah and and so there's there's power in numbers so if all these people what if all these people come into the same room with the same you know idea the same they all agree in the same thing and they all go hey we have an idea hey we know how you know how we all hate this this bitch all right cool let's just go mass report this person and so they get together and there's power numbers so of course it works like a charm.

Yeah.

I mean, you know what I mean?

It is.

It's like, dude, you guys are.

And also, it's like the people spending so much time, like just comedy in other people's lives.

And I feel like, like, I talked to you recently when we're watching like a Netflix documentary.

All or even the Gypsy Rose show.

Yeah.

Stop putting clips of content creators on TV.

Right.

You're talking that.

You are, bro.

Dude,

I do not want to see that part was kind of fucking crazy.

And I've seen it on other documentaries that we watched.

It'll be like, they'll pull up like like oh you know all these

a video a video on tiktok this weird random melissa uh reality news tv whatever the hell it is whoever it is yeah yeah commenting on it it's like you're literally giving this you're you're adding fuel to the fire like yeah and i'm sorry gypsy rose if you hear me you ever sign up with lifetime again i'm like don't you ever fucking give these people platforms ever

about me or i'm not filming i agree because that is that's disgusting and then you know she's watching her show because she's all excited about about it.

But then you have all these haters talking shit about her.

Well, how dare you, Lifetime?

Talk about it.

Yeah, and why don't you just let her talk about what's going on in her life?

Because that's what us viewers would like anyways.

I don't give a shit.

It's funny that you say that because...

Her first season compared, like the second season was filmed differently and it wasn't as enjoyable for me as a viewer.

I loved the first season because it was just raw and authentic and her coming out of prison and talking about all the things.

And you're right.

The second season was, I mean, they did a little bit of the TikTok stuff in the first season, like when she was getting out of prison and stuff, but you're right.

The second season, it was a lot of the haters.

And so, yeah, I'm sorry, but Gypsy Rose, I'd be like, you know what?

F off Lifetime

to talk shit about me more than they already do.

Well, then it's like, and then I think what happens too is like, okay, what is the purpose for Lifetime airing those content creators hating on Gypsy Rose?

And it's because now they're going to air this, this, this, you know, TikTok content creator videos of hating on her, and then they're going to jump into a scene with her.

So you're actually producing this in a way of like this is the storyline the hate that she's getting yeah it's forcing her to talk to these people in her family about this situation when she never would have even probably known about how and you want to see toxic i mean you look at like you just searched gypsy rose on tiktok i don't know how she fucking does it it's really sad you're people attack her and bully her and it's crazy and my whole thing is that like People can have opinions, right?

But that's fine.

They cannot like somebody.

Right, but it goes back to the point of like, what gives, why do you comment on shit, right?

Like, talk, like, talk to your friends in a group, not online where it's permanent.

And people probably don't have friends.

It's true.

You know.

But, like, I don't know.

I just think it's wrong.

I think lifetime is just failing epically by just like putting it out there like that.

Like, why, why would you do that?

Like, could you, if I'm thinking that's, I'd be like, I'm out.

Next time you're going to be meeting him, that's ain't going to be here talking with me and my family in a living room scene or whatever, whatever we're at our house doing something, knowing that this is our life, you know, whatever.

And then you're going to put that right after you you air some content creator horribly talking shit about me and my kids or whatever the case like dudes fuck you bro you're feet like you said you're putting fuel to the fire it's wrong because that's right because then that content creator is gonna be like oh my god i made it

keep talking about these people because look at what we're getting there and it's like and it's like in a reality how dare you because you know gypsy rose is making you money She's bringing viewers to you as lifetime or whatever the case is.

So Gypsy Rose, if you're listening, you hear this, girl, get it in your contract.

Get a good lawyer and make sure that you will not use that shit online or on the show it's not right it ain't right it ain't right because it's stupid she could talk about the bullying and the harassment that she's getting it would it would be more real and raw that way instead of giving them free access to fucking television it is also there's no i think with with like there's no regulation with misinformation on tick tock like there's no there's no little comment saying this video has been flagged because it's it's not true or you know what i'm saying like

so people can just say whatever the hell they want.

Yeah.

With no, people go, Yeah, that's, I saw it on TikTok.

It's like, dude, that doesn't mean it's true, bro.

Right.

I mean, yeah, you got to search that shit.

There's been plenty of times where I'm, if I see something on TikTok, I'll go and Google it.

And most of the time, it's legit for sure, you know, but I make sure to Google it for myself to make sure that it's like, is this real or is this not real?

Yeah, I just think it's weird.

We're in it.

We're in a day and age in

social media specifically, where it's like, I think the culture itself is so

like we,

everyone thinks that their opinion is just necessary.

And it's like, guys,

we all

know at this age that maturity is having an opinion, but recognizing when it's necessary to voice it out loud or not.

That's maturity.

That's emotional regulation.

That's just, you know, being a decent human being.

You know what I mean?

So it's like, dude, you are all so,

you think your voice is so vital.

You think your opinion is so, you know, necessary for the world to keep spinning that you have to go and make a whole three-minute video about it.

It's not.

No, or even commenting on something.

It's just, it's sad, actually, when you think about it.

It could be used.

We could be using it for such different things.

Oh, yeah, because I mean, I've seen some great things on TikTok.

Like the one guy that goes around and helps, you know, people that he sees and gives them money.

And then people will love that video.

And then he'll create like a GoFundMe.

He's bought people like houses and cars and shit, you know, like it could be used for good for sure.

I don't know what's, I don't know, it's a culture problem.

It's in the fibers of the, of the, of this generation specifically, too.

I don't know what that is.

Yeah, and with you and I, like, you know, being on TV for as long as we've been on TV and we've kind of, we've grown up with social media and all the things.

I mean, we started out with MySpace back in the day and just kind of grown with everything, you know,

after that.

I know for a fact, just seeing how social media works and like how you're talking about how just the negativity and how the bullying can happen.

Like, I'm not letting our kids have social media probably until they're like fucking 16, 17 years old.

I don't even know yet.

I know we talk about reporting, we don't

have them like, oh, 15.

Then I'm like, oh, no, 16.

I'm like, oh, well, by that point, 17, might as well just wait.

I don't even want you to have it at all.

Move out of my house if you want.

Right, which I'm sure as they get older, you know, Nova's 10, I'm sure there's going to be fights and conversations about that.

But it's just not healthy.

I mean, if you look, if you people look at the studies of what it's doing to younger generations and their brains and and their, you know,

their, what's the word I'm looking for?

The way they feel about themselves.

Oh, self-esteem.

Yeah, self-esteem and stuff.

It's not good.

This is scary.

And I, and I, listen, I see com.

I know why.

I could not imagine.

I'm 33.

And some of the stuff I read, I'm like, oh, God.

Right.

I think we've grown a thick situation.

We have, of course.

So people who are just normal people.

Just young.

And just young.

I can imagine reading some of that stuff.

Think about it.

When we were 12, 13, 14.

Yeah.

No.

Holy shit.

Oh, yeah.

What would that would have done to my development?

What would that have done to my self-identity?

What would that have done to my

outlook on the world and people in general?

Or just yourself.

Dude, like it really, people got to remember that this is permanent.

Like what you're saying is permanent and it has got real

potential to hurt people.

Yeah.

Well, it just made me think of what you just said made me think of.

So me and my friend Amber were having a conversation in my car.

We were driving back from your mom's house.

And I told her, I was like, I've never like broken a bone.

I've never busted my head open, like nothing like that.

Cause it was after Nova busted her head open, which did happen.

And she had to get a couple staples, but she's fine.

And Amber said, you know, she said, there's this quote, I guess, out there that says, in life,

people.

that don't get have broken bones or like physical stuff happen to them, it's because you're being spared from that because you're going to have a lot of emotional, highly emotional things happen to you in your life.

So they spare you the other stuff.

The physical pain.

Yeah.

And people who don't have to deal with like highly emotional pain stuff in their lives are the ones that end up with like broken bones and stuff like that because of the physical stuff.

And I looked right at her and I said, I'd rather take the physical.

Any day.

I'm fucking fucked.

I've had

broken back two wrists through fingers.

But I looked at her

i was like i was like well i would probably i would rather take the physical shit because at least that stuff heals faster yeah you know and it's a more it's more um tangible to heal emotional damage is hard to heal you don't want that it just takes it could take years it could take you know you could do years of therapy and it still doesn't heal you know what i'm saying so it's and then it made me think of too and i was like huh i'm like you know well if my kids because nova buster head open i'm like well you know if it's physical stuff maybe our kids won't have to suffer through a lot of emotional shit because we've done a lot of work, you know?

But with the way she said that, I was like, that's kind of crazy to think about.

Like, is that why?

You know?

Yeah, I don't know.

Destiny and stuff.

I think of our buddy Jordan Jillson.

Oh, poor.

Yeah.

How many tooth get by a car, concussion, like broken, just like, dude.

Yeah, true.

Yeah.

And he's had a lot of a fucking emotional shit, too.

He's my best friend, man.

I love that guy.

But yeah, he's had it rough.

And I don't know.

That is an interesting quote.

But one thing I was, I want to go back to is that when you said about our kids having social media, I think

an important reason is intentions.

Why do you want it?

You have your friend's phone number.

I just want to really keep asking.

And until their answer is like,

until their answer is palatable, you know, like makes sense to me, then I'll think about it.

But I just want to, is it because, just because your friends have it?

Is it because you want a way to communicate?

There's other ways you can.

Yeah, is it because you want to, you want an artistic way to express yourself?

Is it because you want to have a diary or a journal of some sort sort or your feelings and emotions or whatever?

I want to get down to the intentions of why you want it and then stick with that intention.

We can find it different always.

Yeah, and then put parameters around that.

Yeah.

Kind of like that.

Put parameters based off of your intentions of what you said.

Yeah.

You know, why you wanted it.

I think that's smart.

And I think that we open, we're, we have very, you know, open conversations with our kids.

So I think our kids would understand too, why we feel like it is unsafe or not healthy to have or, you know, whatever the case may be.

Um, and just tell them the danger: say, listen, this woman killed herself.

Do you understand?

She had a lot of followers all her whole life going for her, and it still wasn't enough.

Yeah, sad.

This stuff affected her so bad.

And now, look at her family.

That she ended her life and affected a whole family.

Her husband's message hit me hard.

It was like, dude.

And then I kept thinking about it.

Yeah, did you see his video?

Oh, dude, no.

I watched it.

It was, it's horrible.

Devastating.

And it, and all I kept thinking about watching was, this is so unnecessary.

This is so un This is not, this should not even be a real thing right now.

And then I kept thinking about like all the drama that happened with us online and how there was like someone sent me a screenshot of all these different like forum pages that kept getting banned.

One was like fuck the voltairs and I don't know what all this other shit.

But they were getting banned.

And then they made a new one and then that one got banned.

That one got banned.

I just kept thinking in my head like, dude, like this is.

People, why are you spending this energy?

People are killing themselves.

They are, you're affecting real people.

What is your goal?

Is your goal, is you think your negative opinion about hating this person is so necessary that you're willing to risk someone's life so your opinion, hatred, judgment, whatever, gets out there publicly.

Because you don't know what they're struggling with behind closed doors and if they're not mentally stable or well, you know, and then you have people who are committing suicide.

I mean, there's like young kids out there.

I saw a video the other day and it was like forever 12.

He He was 12 years old and he committed suicide because of bullying.

You have Abby, which I mean, if you guys are on TikTok, everybody knows about her.

And she was just a young, beautiful girl, like got bullied by some girls in her town.

And her mom walked in the room and she was hanging in her bedroom.

Like, she killed herself because of bullies and online bullying and stuff.

And it's, it's sick.

It's gross.

It's sad.

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And then also,

obviously there's a disservice going on because why are these people and these young adults adults feeling like they can't go to their parents and talk to them about what's going on or go to the school council or anybody just to talk?

And

I think what it comes down to, though, is that, like, like I said, when we were younger, you left school.

You can get away from it.

They can go to therapy, but they're still going to go home to their bedroom at 8:30 at night when it's nighttime and pick up their phone.

Right, fucking social media.

Do you know what I'm saying?

It's just like it is, it's an infection.

It's a cancer.

It is destroying lives.

And why are people so?

Why do you, I wonder what it's doing to these young people's minds and even older people too.

But why are you taking what these people say about you negatively so intensely?

I wonder.

I think it's different.

One person says something's like, oh, whatever.

Fine, it's your opinion.

When you have a comment that says, you're a fat piece of shit and it's the number one liked comment, 23,000 likes on that one.

Yeah, but people don't even get that many, I mean.

Like, even like younger, you know what I I mean?

I'm just saying, though, I don't care what's

five likes versus the one like, one like, one like, this, but this one comment's got the most likes out of all of them.

That's a collect.

You're sitting there looking at the masses of like, wow, everyone really thinks most people,

average, most people think this way about me.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

That's hard to, to, to.

No, and it's sad, but that's what I'm saying.

Like, there has to be

something

like, why aren't people feeling safe enough to talk to people or talk to somebody?

I think one thing about it, too, is that, like, are they, is society afraid to cut it off?

Like, if it's so damaging, cut it off.

Right?

Yeah.

But is it because.

Yeah, because whatever happened to, remember when they were talking about for Instagram and stuff, they were like, oh, we're not going to show the likes anymore or the number of legs.

Yes, because it doesn't.

Hey, did you see that, though?

I see some, some I don't see likes.

Right.

Some profiles I don't see.

Some you do.

So what's that?

Is that a personal setting you put on your thing?

Oh, I don't know.

I'm not really sure.

But for instance, like, yeah, things like that, where, like you're saying, if it's hurting people or a younger generation, like fucking cut it off.

Or you have to take a picture of your fucking ID.

You got to be 21 to have fucking McGregor.

For real.

Here's the thing.

Here's the thing, though, is that if you, you know, cut it off, it's like, it's like an addiction.

It's like, it's like, oh, crackhead.

Well, stop doing heroin.

Just stop it.

You can't stop it.

Right.

Something going on.

And the studies that I've done with the dopamine levels that are getting hit from online social media stuff and it's insane.

It's like a sickness.

It's like, how do you

bad for you?

Just get off of it.

And it's like, you're right.

Oh, yeah, that makes sense.

Cool.

I'll do that.

Why aren't we doing that?

Well, because you can't.

Can.

But can we?

Can the heroin act just stop doing heroin?

Well, I didn't have social media for two years.

No, but I'm just saying, though, it's gotten to a point where it's like we are ignoring the fact that this is a brain-affecting thing.

It is an addiction that it has no symptoms, no outward symptoms.

Right.

You know what I mean?

So it's like, I think looking at it like, wow, this is an addiction.

I think even the people who do snark pages and run these TikTok accounts,

building their whole platform talking about.

Well, they're fucking addicted.

They are.

They're addicted to the negativity.

They're addicted to the subject matter.

They're addicted to just.

They're little communities that they make.

Yeah.

Yeah, they're addicted to it.

And I think.

We need to stop looking at it like, oh, they're just a mean person.

No, no, no.

We all have a problem here.

Like, we're all addicted to this thing.

Like this, this device is killing people, though.

Yeah, it is.

And it's a silent killer, I feel like, because these kids who are committing suicide, the parents go, I had no, you know what I mean?

They have no idea.

That's what I mean.

It's like, why?

And that's where my mind goes, too, is like.

There's a disservice somewhere.

Obviously, we all know the stigma around mental health still exists.

That definitely needs to be another episode, though, because I can be talking on and on and on about that.

No, but I think that's one thing that social media has done, I think, for our generation, a positive thing about it, is that it has gotten depression, anxiety, anxiety, and stuff out there to talk about.

Well, right, but I'm just saying for people that feel like they're not talking about it, or, you know, how you said, like, parents will say, like, I never knew anything was going on.

Obviously, the stigma is still there because why aren't they feeling like they can talk to their parents or talk to a therapist?

Or

just a safe person.

I think it's because it comes down to, especially for kids who are younger than us, like going to your parents,

their parents are,

they'd have no idea what it's like to be raised in this kind of culture, true, you know what I mean?

Like, our parents have no idea what it's like,

yeah, because if they have a child right now who's like 16, they're gonna be even older than we are.

That's what I'm saying, so they're like, Oh, well, you know, just ignore it, kid, it'll be all right.

It's like, no, no, no, you're not understanding the psychology, though, behind this.

Well, right, and you have a very mature brain, these are still like brains that are learning, you know.

That's why I feel like as far as social media goes for our kids, I don't know, I don't know, and I guess I'll keep, I'm just gonna keep kind of doing some moral inventory inside until I feel like, you know what?

All right, let's see how it goes.

Well, and especially for our kids, because I mean,

and I guess it has to be private and all that.

I guess if you have to call it out, I say, listen, ever since, you know, how we finally agree to it.

Say no was 16, 17, we finally agreed to let her have something, cut something on social media.

And then, you know, four months later, we notice something.

We have to call it out as parents.

Say, hey, listen, I've noticed you've been more angry.

You're not getting enough sleep.

You're bitter.

Right.

You know what?

And just kind of like make them aware.

Like, you know, this is affecting you.

You know that you have a choice, right?

You can deactivate deactivate this account, right?

You can go back to your life four months ago before you had this,

and

you know what I mean?

We can erase this from your existence.

Yeah, no, I feel like kids nowadays feel like they have to have it.

If you don't have Snapchat, who live it under rock, you know, you don't have Instagram, you're a loser.

You know what I mean?

Right now, we're just in the Roblox stage, and I'm like,

fucking have a robot.

You can play Minecraft, but you play fuck robots.

Yeah, it's just, it's, it's, um, I honestly, I feel so fucking bad for these these kids.

I feel bad for this generation being raised up.

Like, I don't, I wouldn't take back my, us being raised in the time that we had.

I feel like we were like one of the last

great generations, you know?

We couldn't just, we didn't have computers in our pockets.

No.

We had computers in the living room.

We had to go log on.

Right.

And then we had to log off.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

We had to get off of it.

There is no escape with these kids nowadays.

Yes.

It's just right there.

And imagine, like, you know, imagine you go to sleep one day as a 14-year-old and then you wake up and all of a sudden you're like, whoa, 150 likes on what?

And it's just like

something negative, something bad.

Right.

And that's what's gone viral about you.

It's going to destroy you.

Yeah.

Like, that sucks.

That's really sad.

And that's why I want to tell everyone just like, just stop.

Like, dude, social media can be used for such an awesome stuff and such good things.

Why are we doing this?

Well, yeah.

And I think it just goes back to the point of

what my mama used to always say to me and her mama and the mama before that was if you ain't got nothing nice to fucking say, don't fucking say it at all.

Like, you know,

if I have something mean, it stays in my head.

And you know what?

I think it's okay to acknowledge that it's even hard for adults.

It's even hard for mature brains to be like, that person's, that's their fucking idea.

They're a zero or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, it's even, you know what I mean?

But like, I

don't say it or comment on it.

I don't say it.

I don't comment on it.

I just don't get, I don't get the purpose for it.

Me neither.

But yeah, I think it goes back to them being miserable or like you said, creating that little community of people that just like feed ew, what a way to live.

I know, that's what I think, you know, like listen, you know what they like, the whole goal is to surround yourself with people who disagree with you, who are smarter than you, and who know more because that

environment is for growth.

That will give you growth.

Surrounding yourself with people who always agree with you, who are not smarter than you or on the same level as you,

where's any growth?

Yeah, there isn't all you're going to have is confirmation bias going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

Right.

And cognitive dissonance, back and forth, back.

Where's growth in that?

Actually, that's stagnant.

There is no growth there.

No, there isn't.

Hold on.

We have a child interrupting.

What?

Hey, we're working.

Oh, it's Veda, I think.

What's she saying?

I don't know.

I don't know what Veda's saying.

Summertime.

Is it time for school yet?

Right?

Parental intermission.

Yeah, parental intermission.

I love you.

It's always Veda.

It's funny because Veda comes in here with her sleeping mask.

It's so funny.

So Veda's like, Veda has to be sleeping with a sleeping mask, like this rain, trickle, white noise mixed with rain, water, whatever.

She has to have essential oils going like in a mist.

She has to have purple lights on for her to sleep.

So every morning I'll wake her up.

It's like waking up like a regal old old Hollywood like a star or something where it's like the sleeping mask,

all the misting essential oils in the air and rainwater tranquil music playing.

It's hilarious, dude.

Like it's funny.

Oh, Veda.

I was talking about how Veda has to have her.

Her sleeping eye mask.

Oh my gosh, dude.

Her essential oils misting in the air.

The purple lights, the trickling rainwater hitting your metal rooftop.

Like, it's insane what she has to have in order to like.

That's why I think she's on the spectrum a little bit because she so has so routine

Yeah, like the one night I didn't put her face mask on like behind her ears and stuff and she came out of room She's like mom You didn't tuck me in I said I don't ever tuck you in she's like yeah, you know you put the eye mask on my head Yeah, and I'm like because to say I don't tuck them in is a lie like it's a lie like I'm in there I lay them down put him

actually tucking like

right like tuck tuck tuck tuck like I don't ever tuck you in like a burrito You know, I always kiss you and put your eye mask on you or whatever and that's what she meant and so when I I just went in there right now to lay her back down and she's like, can you

leave your door open?

Oh, here comes Luna.

My cat just opens the door.

Vada was like, can you, while you're working, can you leave the door open a little bit just in case if I need you?

And I'm like, sure, Vada, I will.

You know, I'll leave it open for you.

But yeah, she's very particular.

Very.

She's very particular.

We're in for a wild rye with that one.

Yeah, we are.

But I love her.

I know.

She's just spunky and she's particular.

She's fiery.

Yes, she is.

But to go back to what we were talking about before we get interrupted by children, which

welcome.

Listen, all the parents listening, you know how it is.

You know how it is.

Imagine trying to record.

Yeah, go ahead.

I want you to all do it.

Go ahead.

All you parents, go ahead and record.

Go ahead and record a podcast at your house with your kids.

Yeah, especially on my home.

You can do it at bedtime, you know.

But Veda does have these moments where she'll sometimes come out of her room like a good five, six times.

And then other nights, she's down for the count.

So it just depends.

Some nights she's like, doesn't say anything at all.

We'll go through a nice streak where she never gets out of bed.

And all of a sudden.

I know.

And when she does that, I try to tell her, I'm like, you did so good.

You're such a big girl, you know.

But, and I'm like, I know you don't need anything because you got water, you got a snack.

I saw a meeting the other day.

It was like, nobody is as dehydrated as a toddler at bedtime.

Yeah.

I was like, they are like, no one really is dehydrated.

And having a bladder running like a faucet, you know, like, come on now.

But no, I think going back to what you were saying about, you know, the bullies online and how they get into like this community of people that all agree with them and they all just like bully together.

I'm like, you got something, you're not happy

with your life and you're miserable in one or more aspects of your life.

If anything, I think y'all need to seek some therapy and figure out what's going on in your own lives because you're hating on other people's lives all the time, all day, every day.

And I'm like, you guys need to like go to therapy and work on yourselves.

And I can tell you what,

there's actually very good apps out there nowadays for this,

like BetterHelp.

I think you need to look into that and maybe get yourself a therapist.

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Like, if you're going to spend so much time on your phone,

hating on other people that you don't know.

Message your therapist.

Message your therapist.

Straight up.

ButterHelp's great.

I've used ButterHelp.

They're one of our sponsors.

Love them.

And you'd clearly like to be anonymous.

You like to have some kind of filter between you and reality.

Right.

Or else you wouldn't be online talking about other people's lives.

Pick your own therapist.

You might even find one that agrees with you.

No, I'm just kidding.

Yeah, right.

No, you won't.

What do you want to talk about this week?

Right.

How much I hate Caitlin and Tyler.

That therapist would be like, honey, I think we need to talk about your own life.

What's going on at home?

Well, it's great, but I hate that.

Right.

Like, I don't get it.

First, people hate on anybody for that matter.

But again, I think,

you know, if anybody is listening and, you know, I just want to put it out there again, anybody that's listening to this week's episode.

And if you're being bullied online, not online, wherever it is, please reach out to somebody.

The world needs you and will be less brighter without you in it.

And whether it's a safe person that you feel like you can talk to or...

a police officer, a firefighter, like anybody, just reach out to somebody because suicide's not the answer.

And I know sometimes, especially I've been there, I know sometimes it feels like it's the answer and it feels like it's the only way out, but I promise it's not.

And again, don't forget about the suicide hotline.

You can call 988 or you can text 988.

And I think even texting just to get stuff off your chest and out of your mind is so helpful.

But I don't think people realize how many people are just sitting in there in the silence and having these crazy thoughts of what they want to do to themselves.

So please, if anybody is listening, please, please, please reach out to help.

Reach out for help.

I mean, you could even message us, message me.

Like

it's just so important.

And there needs to be more outlets, I think, for people to feel like they can talk about whatever is going on.

But it's just scary and it's sad.

And

a lot of times people just need someone to listen to.

They just want to be heard.

Yeah.

Sit in silence with them.

Like the thing is, is like I've heard people say like, you know, I just want you to just sit in the muck with me.

Don't have to fix it.

You don't have to get me out of it, but just sit in it.

I don't even want advice.

I just want to me to say, I'm so fucking pissed this happened right now.

I feel like shit.

And someone goes, Yeah, I hear you.

That's shitty.

Yeah, you know, that is shitty.

You don't deserve that.

That's not fair.

Right.

Or sometimes, just it's sometimes for some people too, it just feels good for them to unload it all onto somebody and not even, like you said, not even have a conversation about it, just for somebody to listen.

Yeah.

And be there.

And also, I think give yourself some, give yourself some limits.

Like, if you find yourself,

I guess doing some inventory, like, all right, I was really happy.

I got online, spent an hour scrolling.

Now I'm not so happy.

Lock that in.

Okay, woo, cause and effect, cause an effect.

Right.

Limit that shit.

Put some time limits on it.

Being self-aware, I think, is huge.

I think it's hard.

It's hard.

And especially for this generation, I noticed when you're spending so much time in external worlds, other people's lives, it's like hard to look at your own because you're constantly just

it's like we're not giving ourselves enough time to sit with ourselves.

I actually just watched a video where she said

she moved from the US to Finland because she got married to a

guy who was living in the world.

She lives there, okay.

And she's like, One thing that's really crazy is that I moved to Finland and she's like, in in Finland, she's like, you, if people walk past you and you look at them and smile, yeah, or you, you know, look at a stranger and you know, you lock eyes walking through a door, you smile and nod or wave.

So in Finland, they'll look at you like you're weird.

Really?

And she's like, one, and she's like, I know that sounds bad.

Say, oh, well, I know, right?

And she's like, but she explains it in a way of, she's like, listen, though, we are so

we are so used to American culture.

We're so used to like putting on this facade, putting on this, I have to, you know, do small talk.

She's like, in Finland, there's no small talk.

That's true.

She's like,

we don't talk about the weather or what's going on.

Because, you know, why?

Because we're so secure.

We can sit in silence.

It's not uncomfortable for us.

Okay.

It's not weird for us.

We don't, if I don't know you, I don't know you.

Don't you don't have to smile at me because you feel culturally or Western culture needs to, you know.

Oh, it's still fucking weird, though.

She explained a lot better than I am right now, trust me.

But like when I first heard, I was like, dang, girl, you sound sounds like kind of harsh.

And she's like, no, no, no.

It's actually great because it showed me that, like, wow.

That's one thing Americans really aren't good at.

We're not good at sitting in silence.

We are not good at just just like acknowledging the fact that I don't have to be someone outside of myself

so that way I fit in.

If I look at someone and they smile at me, I feel like, oh, hi, how you doing?

Even though inside I'm not having a good day.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

But I have to smile because

I have to make small talk because she's like, there is no small talk here.

She's like, we don't need it.

I'm like, wow, that's interesting.

I know.

Isn't that

very interesting?

It's like, but us Americans, yeah, we are very like huggy, put our best, best face on social media.

No, right.

And so she was hugging you know, somebody's cheating on you or beanie at home, or, you know, whatever.

She's like, you know, America, like, especially, and she was raised in the South.

And she's like, it was huge in the South.

She's like, you don't ever lock eyes and not smile or wave or say how the weather's doing.

And, oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

So, like, she's like, you know,

it's an American thing where we,

yeah, you know, we're almost living in a thinking where our lives are a constant highlight reel on Instagram.

We got to like show the vacation, show a smile.

That's what I mean.

Yeah.

Yeah.

People want to be aware of it.

So in Finland, no one cares about strangers

as much as, you know.

With the way our country is and the shit that's going on, I don't know.

I saw some.

I'm about to, we should move to fucking Switzerland.

That place is fucking gorgeous.

And I doubt Canada will take us, but I'm ready to get the fuck out of here.

No, Finland's actually the happiest country.

I think we went for the like 30%.

So, where's Switzerland at?

I don't think it was around.

I don't really know.

I don't know either.

I don't know.

It gets cold there.

Oh, fuck it.

It gets cold here.

Yeah, true.

But it's fucking gorgeous.

It is.

And they look happy as shit.

Yeah.

Well, they have, you know, universal health care and they have.

Right.

Oh, kids don't go hungry.

Right.

We're not sending them to concentration camps.

Seriously, it's so crazy.

You know, whatever.

We're not.

They ain't even trying to fucking disguise it.

I know.

Please.

It's fucking sick.

It's fucking sick.

No, yeah, that's a whole other fucking episode, too.

That's all.

About the country.

FDT.

No, it's funny, though, because I literally just saw a thing the other day where it's like,

we're

record funding for ICE, but we're taking health care away from people.

Oh, I know.

Elderly people.

There's going to be nursing homes closing.

Oh, I know.

But there's going to be more camps to send these evil, horrible

image.

The way that they're

Oh, yeah, yeah, I do.

I can't, I can't even deal with it.

I think, yeah, we're just a fool.

And also, that actually goes hand in hand with what you're talking about, though, because it's giving culture so important.

And we need the nice people need to be louder.

Is everyone listening to me?

If you see a collective

or comedy section,

please be loud.

Get loud and say you are wrong.

You are cruel.

And then post something positive about the person.

Yeah, whatever.

Like, just, just, please show empathy, show sympathy, and be, you know, do it by example.

Like, be louder because I think what's happening is, like, for instance, with this whole, even the political climate, it's giving permission to be cruel.

It never used to be this cool to be this cruel.

Yeah, it's so cool.

You know what I'm saying?

I don't understand.

It's never been a cool thing to be this mean.

And it's still not fucking cool.

It's not me.

It's not cool.

It's like, but I feel like certain climate is, it gives it, it gives people permission.

Like, oh, I couldn't have said that last year.

Oh, I can say it now.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what's weird too?

Is if you notice, like a lot, like even just like negative comments that we get or like messages that we get that are negative, nine out of ten times, at least, I would say out of ten people, ten negative comments, I would have to say at least six out of the 10 every single time.

You go to their profile and they have some fucking Bible verse or a fucking cross or praise Jesus in their fucking profile.

And I'm like,

you are a hypocrite,

religious person, and your ass is going to be be standing in the fire.

And listen,

I am not a very religious person, but I love reading about it and studying about it and learning about it.

And I'm telling everyone right now, Jesus was an immigrant.

Yeah.

He hung out with thieves.

He went into, he came here to literally flip the tables of oppression that was happening by.

religious leaders.

He went in there and showed the hypocrisy of religious leaders and what they were doing and how they were harming, how they were using people really weaponizing religion to harm people.

And he actually came here

to totally flip the script on all that.

And all you people are doing, I'm telling you right now, Jesus came down here, you would deport him.

Okay, all you people who believe it, you would deport him.

Yeah.

You would say he's too woke.

You would say you would not feed him.

You would not clothe him.

You would say.

Yeah, it's fine.

You literally would.

So please just, you know, yeah, I don't know.

I won't get into it too much.

Live godlike.

What?

Live godlike.

Okay, whatever God you want to believe in.

Yeah, sure.

But no, I just noticed that.

I was like, wow, a lot of the times they usually have like a, you know,

there's some sort of religious person.

And I'm like, wow, that was not very.

I'm going to say it out there for all you people.

You are, you're making it look really bad.

You're making it look like, no, I do not want to be a Christian today.

Because you saying these things, how cruel you are, and then go to your profile and it's got Isaiah 3, 4, whatever the hell your little thing is.

Yeah, I've seen it a lot.

Yeah, I'm like, bro, you are not representing your faith good at all.

If your job is a recruit, you are horrible at it.

So, literally.

Our kids will not be having social media.

I don't care.

We'll be going to be duking it out in the backyard because it's just not, it's just, it's not healthy at all.

Be nice.

Come on.

If you can spend, you know, 10 minutes writing this horrible paragraph about how you hate this person, I know you can spend five minutes writing writing a two-sentence thing about this person.

That, hey, you know what?

Your hair looks really good.

Whatever it is, you can be nice.

Or guess what?

Just scroll.

That's what I mean.

Or just don't comment at all if you want to be a mean, evil person, you know?

And if you feel like it's necessary to comment or something, like I said again, go find a therapist.

Or, you know what?

Also, broaden your horizons, bro.

Like, like, like, like, challenge yourself a little bit.

Try to find someone that doesn't agree with you.

Talk to them.

Like, like, civilly.

Like, just try to broaden your horizons.

Don't get so caught up.

And some people are, it's too, that's too scary for them.

Some people, let me tell you.

They're, what a little bitch.

You know, I love talking to people who don't agree with me.

I love it.

I'd rather, God, I'd rather be surrounded by people who don't agree with me.

It can be very good to have, yeah, conversations with opposing views because both of the people, you walk out learning something and maybe, you know, agreeing to disagree or whatever the case may be.

But yeah,

I see what you're saying.

And there's a way to talk to people and still be nice.

That you can say, like, even, like, you know, talk to my mom about certain stuff politically or

I can't.

Yeah, you guys don't agree on a lot of things, but you don't talk about it.

Yeah.

And I don't need to be cruel to get my point across.

I'm telling you now, the moment you start throwing insults, you lost.

Oh, for sure.

You lost the battle already.

You lost.

Yeah, you're heated.

You are emotionally, you're done.

You just, the cannonball came, smashed.

You're over.

The war is over.

You lost.

100%.

So, just to wrap this up a little bit, I think what I would have any of our listeners do this week

going forward, maybe just even if it's once this week or something, say something positive to another human being, whether it's online or in person.

And

again, you know, if you are somebody that's struggling, please reach out for help,

you know, through the suicide hotline or to somebody that you know.

But I would love for all of you guys just to say something positive to somebody else.

You know what?

We should do a thing where it's like, get it, have a goal to say 10 positive things to somebody online today.

Yeah, 10 separate people, whatever it is.

I don't care what it is, just 10 things.

I want you to write 10 comments.

Fuck yeah, let's spread kindness like fucking confetti.

Please, God, we need it.

So, for all my listeners, if you could do that, shoot, even send me some screenshots or something.

You know, I would love to see it.

Like,

let's spread kindness like confetti.

And if you're struggling, please reach out to somebody.

And I love you guys, our supporters and people that just are always rooting for us.

We're rooting for you guys too.

And thank you so much for just listening and joining us on this awesome journey and we love you guys so we'll talk to you next week next week on kate and type break it down break it down don't don't don't don't

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