Chaos, Connection & Denouncing Feet

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Gotta love New York City, right?

Jeez.

You have allergies.

I know.

Out of nowhere.

I didn't have allergies at home.

So

if you're listening and she sounds

stuffy.

It's because of her allergies.

And just funny because your nose is like where your makeup is.

Because I I keep having to blow my nose.

You got to dab it out, man.

Dab it out.

Dab it out.

Dab it out.

Dab it out.

Dab it out.

Dab it out.

And also, last night, we got done doing some podcasts yesterday.

And thankfully we ordered dinner first.

Stupid.

Could you imagine if we wouldn't have ordered dinner?

We would have been starving.

I would have been pissed.

And then all of a sudden, I always like randomly go on my bank account and see just like what I've spent, you know, yada, yada, yada.

And all of a sudden, I see like eight transactions to somebody Garcia, and it was for like $14.99, $14.99, $14.99, like literally eight or nine of them in a row.

And I'm like, what the hell is going on?

We got hacked.

So

our bank card got hacked somehow while in New York City.

So then I was on the phone with Chase, had to cancel my card, go to use Ty's card.

His card's not working.

So then I'm like, wow, we're literally sitting in New York City.

We have no money, no nothing.

We have to fly home tomorrow after we record.

And then I'm thinking, like, how am I supposed to get my car out of the garage in Detroit?

Like, you have to pay or you can't get out.

So then we wake up extra early today, get ready, have to walk across the street.

Thankfully, there was a chase right there.

And this awesome lady helped us.

Yeah, but I'm glad that she did because honestly, we were rushing time.

Yeah.

We had a meeting or an episode at 10.

It was like 9.50 when we got dumb, booked it to this.

Yeah.

It's been crazy.

And of course, Chase Bank doesn't open till like 9.

I know.

We literally sat outside Chase Bank, like almost like they were releasing a new PlayStation or something or a new iPhone, like waiting in line for the door to open.

Literally.

And thankfully the lady there was so helpful.

She was.

She said she's going to put a rush on my debit card.

So yeah,

it's been a really interesting morning here.

Already.

And it's only noon.

And we have to be picked up in two hours and go to the airport.

And then, also, what I was freaking about, too, though, is like before we came here to do this podcast trip, like I booked a whole camping trip for the kids.

And then I was like, oh my gosh, if his car doesn't work and my debit card doesn't work, like then we can't even go camping.

We're going camping.

How?

If we didn't have no money,

cash.

I know, but you know, not places are weird now.

Like, I was thinking, like, we're not going to be able to eat anything in the airport because all airports don't take cash anymore.

I'm like, we're screwed.

I know.

Thankfully, we got it figured out, though, but it was stressful.

I was like stressed out last night.

And this morning because we had to rush around.

We get a

so.

I'm like, welcome to the art.

This will be the last time we're doing this.

So we're finding a space in Detroit.

Yeah.

We don't need to do this anymore.

We know what we're doing.

We got it all figured out.

Yeah.

And then we can have guests come to Detroit.

I think that'll be really fun.

Yeah, plus Detroit's only an hour away from us.

So it's like, hell yeah.

Right.

And then we can show like certain guests.

We can like go out to dinner downtown or whatever.

Like downtown Detroit is popping.

I love going down there.

I know.

I think Detroit gets a bad rap.

Well, my dad said I told him that the other day what did you say about downtown Detroit and he's like well it didn't used to be most I've never seen it and I said never seen what like Detroit good

you never been down there dad I know I said dad I said when me and Ty do date night like we go downtown Detroit I said I said they have great food cute little like bars nice clubs great hotels and it's what I want to know the last time your dad's been downtown Detroit.

Oh, it's probably years.

Yeah, he had us going on 69 to get to the airport.

Remember that one time?

I I know.

And I'm like, no, dad, I know how to get to the Detroit airport.

Just keep going straight.

And he didn't believe me.

Just keep going down 94, man.

So it's been a while since he's been downtown Detroit.

Oh, for sure.

It's nice.

People, I don't, if you haven't been there, you don't know, but it's, dude, it's nice.

I don't know what people are talking about.

And I mean, and it's like any big city.

Every big city has its bad spots.

You know what I mean?

Like, yeah, of course, Detroit has its bad spots.

New York has its bad spots.

It's where not to go.

Right.

You don't go two streets over that way and you're fine.

You stay on the main street.

You stay on Woodward.

You're going to have great food, great time, you know?

Yep.

So, but I am excited to, I think we're going to be absolutely exhausted taking the kids to camp.

It's okay.

It's what we do.

And hopefully this freaking rain holds off.

It's all right.

It's what we do as parents.

We do things

while we're exhausted.

That's what we do.

Well, and I keep checking like the weather, you know, because I'm just like, dude, I don't, I do not want to like.

The whole point of camping is to be outside.

Yeah, I know.

And I don't want to be sitting in a freaking cabin with these kids

when it's thunderstorming out when I could sit in my house in a thunderstorm.

You know what I mean?

That's true.

But it's okay.

It's going to be great.

Well,

and especially lately,

Raya's been like super terrified of storm thunderstorms.

That's probably because her sisters are teasing her.

Well, I don't know.

She just doesn't like it.

She freaks out.

I'm like, we're going to be in this little cabin.

It's going to like,

and she's going to be like, ah!

Freaking out.

So we're going to probably get home today about 9 p.m.

And then wake up in the morning and I'm going to have to get a bunch of groceries and pack bedding.

All the stuff for the kids.

One of us has to drop the dogs off at the border too.

Okay.

Yes.

Because I can't do all that.

Yeah.

You know, taking her to the border, packing, getting groceries.

Yeah.

Yay.

Camping.

I do love camping.

That's the hardest thing to do.

But so we're just going to wing it.

We're going to do it.

Exhausted, stuffy.

Yeah.

Can't breathe.

As long as the kids have fun, that's all all I care about.

Yeah, that's all we care about.

Yeah, but um, I know that last time when we were talking, we were answering a bunch of fan questions and stuff and talking about relationships and um things like that.

I mentioned how I had this card game that I bought that's for couples, guys.

Um, so I brought it and I don't know, it might be a flop, it might be

guys, I'm kind of scared, I don't really know, but it's for couples.

Yeah, we thought it'd be cool.

And look at the box, I'm like, wow, they totally trashed this box in the mail.

Also happens

to DPS, man.

They're like, we hate this house.

They do.

Listen, I don't know if anyone can relate, but I know that the Amazon guy hates our house because.

Probably hates my name more than anything.

You literally get a package every day.

Probably hates my name more than anything.

Yep, they hate us.

And so it's just called Couples.

I got it off Amazon.

And it says, inside we are all the same.

Okay, so there's a level one, a level two, and a level three.

All right, what's

what do we do?

What's more romantic than being understood?

So, maybe we go ahead and start off with what?

Start off with a one, okay.

Start off with a one, okay, go for it.

And we each answer the question.

I don't know how it works.

Okay,

how do I show you I'm upset without telling you I'm upset?

Um, a lot of sighing, um,

like a lot of random sighing and uh, under your breath, like, oh my god,

and um

yeah

I feel like yeah I feel like sighing and under the breath stuff gives it away all right I would say for you

the way that you show me that you're upset without telling me you're upset is you just get very quiet you're very quiet reserved and like distant it's because and I'll I'll explain why

because my younger self i feel like was very uh i lean into that a lot so i'd say out loud, and I didn't like that.

Like, you know, I didn't want you like Veda before, yeah.

And ever since we started having kids, I realized that I don't want them, I don't want them to be raised and have the dad that's always like, God damn it, and motherfucker, and ah, like, I want, so I've been working hard to like, like, be frustrated inside, yeah, and not, like, yeah, so I think, like, you're silence and kind of like, which makes sense.

I am silent, just like, don't speak.

And then, if you speak to me, don't force me to not be silent because then it's not, I'm,

But it's funny because even I know, I know off rip.

You do.

Off of rip.

I feel like, too, like, I'm such an empath.

I can feel people's energies.

Something like that.

And I feel your energy.

What's wrong?

Yeah, God damn it.

Because I know something.

You're like nothing.

And I'm like, bullshit.

Something's wrong.

Sometimes I just don't want to go into why or what's going on.

I know, but it's good to talk about why.

But you know what?

I will say one thing that I learned through therapy was like, just announce it.

All you did is, yeah, I'm upset right now.

That's it.

Yeah.

yeah you know like you don't got to go into detail like it's fine but then of course you have a wife like me i'm like well i know why is going on

all right so this is a level two when do you wait read the back so so level one says perception uh-huh level two says connection connection okay got it okay when do you think i'm at my best who am i with what am i doing i would say at your best is when you're with the kids and they're not freaking out

And what are you doing?

You're usually just doing something with them.

I don't know anything.

I was going to say,

when do I think that you're at your best and who are you with?

I think one of my favorite things to watch is you with Nova, especially Nova when she's at the age right now of she's so curious and answering these questions and you're so real with her and you give her facts and data and all these things.

And

so to see you and her just have these like

really thoughtful but um but educational conversations they're educational i try to keep it yeah that's why and and i know it sticks with her like what you say like i tell you all the time that dads are huge in daughters lives huge and i know that the conversations that you and her have together stick with her because

She in turn like it could be like a week later or even a month later or a couple days later She will talk to me about the conversations that you guys have had and and I'll be like, Yeah, right, there's no way, and I'll google it and be like, Oh my god, she's right, and it's sticking with her, like what you talk to her about, and the things.

But that's one of my favorite things to watch.

Like, I catch myself, like, sitting and just like smiling while I'm listening.

I have noticed that before.

Me and Noah will be talking about like at the island, and you'll just be kind of like off staring with a smile

listening to us.

My little, my little baby, with my little baby bird with her rooster,

just

connecting.

Well, because she's actually a really thought-provoking kid, and I think I was very similar to her when I was a kid, but I didn't have a parent that like

amplified it or like was like feeding it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

My mom was a very much of like, wow, that's cool.

Wow, Ty, cool, Ty.

Wow.

Oh, really?

Ty.

It was very much like, oh, wow, Ty.

Oh, really?

Ty, that's cool, Ty.

That was literally my mom's three.

Even with Nova, you're really like feeding into it and asking her questions.

Yeah.

Why is she curious?

Like, you know, right.

I tried that.

I think one thing that I told myself early on, though, being a parent, was like, I want to treat every

little curiosity that they have as like a mini science experiment.

And if you treat it like that,

they'll stay curious.

They will stay curious.

And then they also know, though,

that my parents will.

answer it for me.

Yeah, yeah.

And not just a superficial answer.

Oh, that's cool, Nova.

Like, I get the same thing my mom did.

Right.

Oh, it's cool, Nova.

Oh, wow.

Wow, Nova.

And then I feel like for kids, when you do the like, oh, wow, that's cool.

I don't know.

It makes them shut down.

of course, because they're like, okay, I knew as a kid when I talked to my mom, I'm like, oh, she

checked out 10 minutes ago.

Not interested.

Yeah, I'm like, all right, this isn't working.

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So level three is what?

Finish the sentence.

Finish Finish the sentence?

Yeah, hold on.

Okay.

Uh-oh.

Do you understand what it is?

Uh-huh.

Okay.

Finish the sentence.

Yeah.

Thank you for accepting.

I would have to say, thank you for accepting

my down days or sometimes when I'm struggling mentally.

Like, just thank you for accepting all of me.

Okay.

Okay.

I would say thank you for accepting my

lack of patience

because

I know I'm impatient.

Yeah.

Or yeah, I would say thank you for accepting that part of me.

Yeah.

And also just everything else.

Right.

Thank you for accepting all of me.

I liked your answer better.

Thank you for accepting all of me because I'm a lot.

And I know I'm a lot.

And I know, like, it's,

yeah, I think people out there will, like, you're so aggressive.

You're so loud.

You're so annoying.

It's like, dude, I know this.

Okay.

I understand.

You're like, I live in my brain.

I no

i live in my brain i get it and like i actually recently someone's like he irks me with how animated he is and i'm like what how do you control that i said in my head i'm like i i dude i

what do i mean to do about that right i i've been this way since i was a kid and i

and i can't i've tried like if i try don't ever try like just try talking normal and like have my hands not moving around and

i mean it sounds really nice and kind of feels good, but then I was like,

it's not, don't ever change that.

Are you sure, honey?

Absolutely not.

And, you know, dude, Veda and Nova are the exact same way.

So animated.

I can't wait to see what Rya is like.

Yeah, literally, my face, I can't lie with my face.

It just gives it away every time.

Oh, God, this is a hard one.

It is?

Yeah.

If our first kiss was a song, what would it be called?

What?

I would say it's getting hot in here.

It's getting hot in here.

Remember the first time you ever let me make out with you?

Yeah, but our first kiss, you said it was horrible.

You said I pecked you like I pecked my mom.

You did.

That was before we got back to your house.

That was like months later when I made out with you.

I know.

So that's okay.

So the first kiss, I guess I wouldn't.

I'm thinking the first like kiss.

So I would have first like make out session.

I was thinking it's getting hot in here.

Teenage dream.

What?

Teenage dream.

Teenage dream.

yeah,

what

that's what I'm gonna say too much.

Okay, but your first kiss was a peck, yeah.

And I remember thinking, I know you kiss better than that because you were dating so-and-so, and I was so nervous.

Yeah, teenage dream, dude, because then they said, What would it be called?

Oh, well, oh, not just the song itself.

Well, that's a good one.

No,

I remember.

And mine would be teenage dream because it was always my dream.

That's funny.

This one,

but it's by Katy Perry.

Oh, okay, okay.

And it's called Teenage Dreams.

That's funny.

You were nervous to kiss me?

Yes, Tyler.

I was.

Yeah, that's why I was like, run away.

I know you did.

I was like, what the hell is that?

And he's like, I need to teach you how to kiss.

Is that what I said?

Yeah.

And I was like, oh, no, I sucked at it.

Oh, no, I didn't.

I didn't mean that.

I sucked at it.

But you did.

You packed me.

Is that because you were nervous though absolutely okay so you're just like

I know you were you

I remember feeling I was like what are we in fourth fifth grade that's a that's a fifth grade peck kid what the hell that teller was like that's how you peck like your grandma and I was like oh my god no

you know looking back though I never I never thought about poor you like giving you a complex about like

well no and it's not like I kissed a bunch of people in the past you know what I mean like

That's kind of funny though.

I don't really, it's not like I knew.

I mean, I'm not sure.

It's funny though.

I don't think people realize that I was such a prude.

Yeah.

Yeah, you were.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I knew weren't.

I knew something.

I don't know.

I knew something was going on.

I was like, nah, there's more to that pack, man.

What did you learn from your parents' relationship that you'd like to apply/slash/avoid in this one?

Everything?

Oh, I was going to say,

apply

or avoid.

I would think that from my seeing my mom,

I think the only thing that I would, the only thing that I would apply to my own is that to like not self-betray.

Because she was very like, people would call her probably cold or cutthroat or whatever.

Don't be like that.

No, no, no.

I know.

And I'm using the wrong words, but she was just very unapologetic.

And the guys would pretty, like, she's, she was very much like, this is how I am.

Take it or leave it.

I'm not really looking to change for you.

Right.

You know what I mean?

So I feel like that's only, the only thing I would apply.

And I would apply it reluctantly

with some filters.

Okay.

Not as cold, maybe, but I don't know.

You mean it's just like speaking your cash building resentment.

Yeah, like my, like, for instance, my mom never moved in with any other guy.

She always had the guy come stay with us and she never let them like completely move in.

Right.

They always had to have their own house that they leave.

And like, she never, you know what I mean?

Like, those kind of things where she like, she maintained her identity, her,

like, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

So, but that's, there ain't nothing else, there anything else I would apply.

I know, mine's hard.

Um, I feel like for me, there's a lot of things that I would avoid.

Like, you know, I believe in honesty, I believe in communication,

I believe in

speaking your feelings and not building resentments

and being truthful.

Yeah, but that's

that's stuff that you not applying, you're saying right.

No, I would avoid like the things I would avoid, you know, lying or keeping secrets.

I would avoid not sharing my truth feelings and letting that build resentment.

And then you blow up.

Yeah, because my dad was married to like a woman who was just not very kind to me.

So it's like for him, I'm like.

And he and she wasn't very kind to him.

No.

So you watched your dad kind of be a victim in a way, in my opinion, you know what I mean, from what you've told me, at least.

Right, right.

And even what your dad's told me, it seems like he was a victim himself of being just emotionally abused, really,

by your stepmom.

It was like some of the stories you guys have.

So, I would not, I would avoid, I absolutely avoid like emotional abuse.

Um,

yeah, so I would avoid all of it.

What would you apply?

Is there anything?

There has to be something that you would apply from your mom or your dad.

I would apply

my dad's, like when I think of when I'm younger, I would definitely apply

his

willingness to like be silly, okay, Especially with us kids and stuff.

But was he silly with your stepmom?

Yeah.

I think that relationship wasn't.

Yeah, he was definitely silly with her.

Yeah, yeah.

Definitely like being silly.

I would apply loving unconditionally, even though he shouldn't have, but he did with her.

As far as my mom, I would apply

her

directness.

Yeah.

She's very direct.

I actually, that's the one thing about, not the one thing, but it's a thing that I have always admired about your mom.

Is that she,

and she's direct in a way that will hurt feelings, which I don't agree with,

but she's direct in a way that she's like unapologetic.

Kind of the same thing with my mom.

Your mom just took it to a different state.

Yeah, because I think you can be direct without being directed.

Yes, and I think she could work on that, being direct without hurting people's feelings.

But she, but yes, I've always admired her kind of just like, I don't give a fuck.

Yeah.

Like, that is admirable.

This is how I am.

Yeah.

This is what I'm doing.

And you can just

cry about it or hate me.

Yeah, whatever.

You know what I mean?

So I think some of that, like her directness, yeah.

And kind of her just like,

her like autonomy.

She kind of just like gives no fucks.

Just like, doesn't really care if you don't like her.

Right.

That's what I mean.

Like, you can, whatever.

She gives no fucks.

Even the guy that she supposedly loves so much.

She's like, I don't care if you fucking hate me.

Yeah.

And that's like, that is one great quality to have.

Like, when you can walk around and be like, you don't like me?

I don't really care.

You know, like, that's what I'm saying.

I mean, I will say, I think it's 90% true.

I think there's 10% of her that does care.

And I think everyone does care to a certain point.

I don't know.

There's a lot of people that talk about us lately, and I'm like, I don't give a fuck.

Well, yeah, of course.

I mean, I don't know.

Our situation is different.

We're on TV.

I know, but and I think we've built like a very thick skin.

No, but someone actually just messaged me the other day, though, and they're like, I was watching all of the earlier seasons.

Of all, like, they're doing like a total rewatch.

And they're like, you know what?

I've noticed that I've calculated that you guys are, everyone is on each each episode on average to five to six minutes.

Okay.

And she's like, and when you average it out, so five times 12 episodes is whatever, and then times that by so many years, she's like, they're literally watching like, what, a four-hour movie out of 16 years that you're holding and they think they know you all in and out, day in, day out, like everything about you.

And I'm like, holy shit.

Thank first off.

Really impressive math skills.

Thank you for like a damn.

And what a breaking it down.

And she even said, she's like, I think it's really messed up that people don't look at it this way.

They think that they know everything about you.

Yeah, and you don't.

Your day in, your day out, because they've watched four hours out of 16 years of your life.

I'm like, dude, whoa.

That brings it to like major perspective.

It does.

I'm like, damn, like, that is actually insane.

Right.

Wow.

That is amazing.

Yeah, yeah.

So.

What do you wish we did more of?

I think what I wish we did more of was

being by ourselves in no phones.

Like, that's what I wish we did more of.

I agree with that.

Yeah, like, just be by ourself with no kids either.

Like, just.

Well, yeah, my thing was going to say, what do you wish

we could do more of?

Is

would be like more

date nights.

And it's so hard at this stage in our life.

Like, I do wish for those things, but it's so hard at this stage in our life when our kids are literally, and we don't have help, really.

Yeah.

But do I wish for the apps to fucking lootly?

But I think, okay, I think we're at the point, though, where we could at least find someone to watch them for a couple hours.

Yeah.

No going to someone else's house and no spending the night anywhere because I think we pretty much got, you know, but like someone could come for a couple hours.

Yeah.

And I really feel like that opportunity should be for your mom because of all like the estrangement that's happened.

Like that's a

yeah, that's an olive branch I think she would really appreciate.

And because everything's at the house, it's easier for her.

All their juice cups and you know all their toys.

Even if it's we just go down to dinner dinner once.

No, that's what I mean.

Like our date night could be like a three-hour max.

Right.

That and I think your mom would enjoy it.

Like she could leave her house, get away from her, hang out with her grandkids for a couple hours.

And yeah, maybe we leave the well emergencies.

I'm just thinking like that would be something that

we could do.

I like that.

You know?

Don't really need a nanny, but no.

We have a grandma that would drive 40 minutes to sit with them a couple hours.

I think that's good.

She definitely would, especially if we did like an early dinner or something.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And also let her know

like a couple days before, like, like, this is what we're doing.

Hell no.

After we record us, I'm going to text her, like, hey, Ma, you want to come over once a week?

Yeah.

So me and Ty can have a date night once a week?

That's a great idea.

I love that.

And also, too, have you thought about just like when we're at home, just the kids don't have tablets or anything?

Like, why don't we put our phones just up?

Yeah, we can do that.

You know what I mean?

I think it's a little difficult with our work that we do now and stuff, but as long as we do like scheduled posts, I don't know.

Yeah, we could do that.

No, because even when we're at home, we're not posting.

there's a thing um called block did you see it no it's like you physically have to touch the block button at home somewhere okay like you know how a time limit you'd be like oh add more time or you know it says like time screen time limit then you add more time or you say okay yeah ignore it there's actually a thing called block i just saw it and it's like where you you can't do it it will not your phone will not allow it until you literally take your phone and sync it up to this block um wherever you put the block Remember that one case that I bought the one time and it's like a timer, but it locks your phone in this box and you can't get it.

And then, remember, people were calling my phone, and I'm like, This might not be a good idea because it's like what if there wasn't no

idea, so I get it, but like that block thing I thought was legit because you know what, you can do it for specific

specific apps only, yeah, you know what I mean, right?

Anyway, but but yeah, I mean, because there's no reason why we have to have our phones in our hands because we're not posting all the time at home, yeah, right, no, you're right, you know, yeah, I agree.

Do you think I have any unconventional views on love?

Unconventional,

no, I was gonna say, my answer for that one would be no, too.

No, I do not.

Have I ever betrayed your trust in any big or small way?

What would help, what would help rebuild that trust?

Oh, we bet they're done that.

Yeah, same.

I mean,

like, I'm not going to, you know what I mean?

Yeah, same.

You know, like.

Same.

Yeah.

Same.

Hey, Zach.

Are you smiling at my gorgeous canyon view?

No, Donald.

I'm smiling because I've got something I want to tell the whole world.

Well, do it.

Shout it out.

T-Mobile's got home internet.

Whoa, I love that echo.

T-Mobile's got home internet.

How much is it?

Look at that, Zach.

You got the neighbors' attention.

Just 35 bucks a month.

And you love a great deal, Denise.

Plus, they've got a five-year price guarantee.

That's five whole trips around the sun.

I'm switching.

Yes, T-Mobile home internet for the neighborhood.

Donald, you still haven't returned my weed whacker.

Carl, don't you embarrass me like this, please.

What's everyone yelling about?

T-Mobile's got home internet!

And Donald's got my weed whacker!

Yes, T-Mobile's got home internet, just 35 bucks a month with autopay and any voice line, and it's guaranteed for five years.

Yodeling!

Beautiful yodeling, Carl.

Texas if you supply.

T-Mobile.com slash ISP for details and exclusions.

A wild card.

Ooh, what's that mean?

We can't do this on camera.

Oh, yeah, we can.

Kiss the part of your partner you've never kissed before.

That's impossible.

We kiss kiss everywhere.

Give me your foot.

Oh, no, hell, no, hell, no.

Come on, give me your foot.

No.

Do it.

No, I'll kill it.

Do it.

Give me your foot.

Listen, I'm going to tell everyone right now.

I don't fuck with feet.

I don't fucking like feet.

I think feet are stupid.

I think they're the worst thing that ever fucking happened to every human being.

I don't like looking at them.

I don't like touching them.

I don't like seeing them.

I don't like anything about them.

You understand?

Kiss my foot.

Kiss it.

No, I will absolutely not.

I don't don't think people understand my disdain for feet.

I don't care how pretty they are.

I don't care what pedicures you get.

I don't care how buff soft and lotioned and moisturized they are.

Crazy about it.

Stand them.

Let me kiss your feet.

Make your foot dangly, ugly, and disgusting.

And I don't like them.

I don't want anyone touching mine either.

Let me kiss your foot.

No, it never ever will happen.

Do you know how many times I've had to go to massage rooms and be like, don't touch, no, any, any off areas?

I'm like, no, not just on my feet.

And they literally will go for a quick second.

And you're like, I'm like, uh-uh.

Like, oh, stop me.

I'm like, yeah, motherfucker.

I just think what people don't know, too, is like, I'll fuck with Tyler.

Like, he'll be laying in bed and his one foot will be out.

And I always go to like rub it and massage.

He freaks out.

Like, that is something he will put me in a pin for.

Like, pin me down because he doesn't want to be touching his feet.

Domestic violence?

Only when you touch my feet.

Yeah.

No, but legit,

like,

I can sense when you're doing it.

Oh, I bet.

Do you notice that?

You'll be coming, and I just, and I just know that I'm like, no, tuck it in because I ain't fucking with that shit.

Like, some nights we'll wrestle in bed because literally all I'm trying to do is grab his feet.

No, it's disgusting.

Just let me kiss your foot.

You have a sock on.

I don't give a fuck.

I don't even touch my own feet.

You understand?

Massaging your own feet.

Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

God, I hate that.

It's disgusting.

If we weren't in a relationship, what pickup line would you use with me?

Are you Mexican?

No.

You want a little Mexicania?

Hey, da-da-da-da.

Yeah.

Well, hello there, tall, dark, and handsome.

Are you single?

That's it.

God, I don't know.

That's all I can think of on the top of my head.

I'd be like, no.

Hey, Zaddy with the backwards hatty.

Oh, Jesus, Zaddy with a backwards hattie.

I love it.

That should be a merch we should get.

I love that one.

When was the last time I made you feel loved when you didn't feel lovable?

I don't know when I didn't feel lovable.

Yeah.

Do you want me to answer first?

Sure.

Yeah, I guess.

Yeah.

So I would have to say the last time that you made me feel loved when I wasn't feeling that lovable

would have to be...

when everything got closed with our adoption and I was super emotional and just really struggling like mentally for a few days like

you just always caress me and hold me and listen to my fears and that makes me feel loved I

can't think of what because I am unlovable I mean I think I'm pretty lovable

I'm just good at my job that's all yeah yeah I mean literally no I mean I yeah

but I always feel like that like there's never a time where I'm like feeling unlovable then you you know i mean i always feel loved by you like i never you know what i mean i don't know i always feel loved by you, too, but I felt like just when those things happen in life and you're there for your significant other in ways of just like just listening to their fears or their, you're just holding them when they're upset.

Like, I mean, I guess I would say when I started getting diagnosed with stuff mentally,

like, it's okay, you know, I mean, that that was that was comforting,

but yeah, I mean, I always feel loved by you, so right, and I feel like we always comfort each other when we need it, you know, and we know what to do.

Yeah,

what I don't remember.

Oh, that was a level two.

You're allergic to I can't fucking breathe.

What weakness of yours do I help compliment the most?

I know mine.

What weakness of yours?

You stop me a lot of the times from being emotionally reactive and thinking.

Oh,

really?

For sure.

Okay.

Yes.

All right.

I see what you're doing.

Yeah, because sometimes you know I'm in a mood and I'll go grab it and you're like, honey, I wouldn't do that.

And I'm like, fuck, you're right.

You know what I mean?

So yeah, i would say that you a lot of the times when i want to automatically be emotionally reactive you're like let's think about this a weakness of mine that i help you compliment that i compliment the most i think it's just when i'm like when i'm frustrated or something i think my weakness is my my patience and my frustration and you always kind of like

you don't ever like um

You don't ever like vilify me for it.

You know what I mean?

That's what that's what I would, that's what I would, I would think.

Yeah, because I feel like me as your partner, too, I try to, I try to give you the space.

I'm like, yeah, yeah.

You know, I'm going to, all right, let's just, dad just needs a minute.

Like, every parent, every person, if they're struggling, needs a minute, you know, like, I'll take the kids.

Let's go do something, you know, or whatever.

Yeah, that's what I can think of off the top.

That makes sense.

Because you're kind of fun.

I know, they are kind of fun.

What celebrity couple are we most like?

None.

One that's been together for a really long time.

I'm trying to think.

The fuck?

I don't know.

John Travolta?

Or no, not John Travolta.

Pierce Brosnan and his wife.

Okay, which one is Pierce?

Pierce Brosnan was 007.

Dunno.

Oh, God.

I'm trying to think.

All right, what couple's been together for a long time in Hollywood?

Ah, pass.

All right.

Yeah, fuck that.

We know.

Whatever one's been together for a while.

Whatever one's been around for a long time.

What do you think I'm most sensitive to during a fight or disagreement?

I think what you're most sensitive is

like while we're disagreeing or disagreeing.

It's rare, but.

I know it is very rare.

Yeah, but I feel like you're sensitive to like um you're sensitive to me like saying something was your fault or something you you you take it very quickly oh it's it's my fault or something like

chill out that's not what i'm saying that's not what i'm saying you're not damaged you're not you know what i mean like that's what i would i would think of what do i what are you most sensitive to i don't really feel like you're sensitive to things in a disagreement because i'm i'm trying to no you're just very blunt and like you know stubborn i don't know yeah because i honestly would even thinking from your pers perspective perspective like I don't yeah I'm like I'm not really like sensitive about or disagreeing oh no no don't tell me right yeah I definitely I definitely am the type to internalize shit fucking sensitive no but honestly but you but you having that like whatever sensitivity helps me yeah because I'm able to be like to recognize that and you be all right so that that forces me to kind of work on my delivery yeah so that you don't feel like something's wrong with you.

No, you know what I mean?

Or something's your and what have we've learned that through therapy.

Yeah.

I internalize stuff and it's my job as my person, as my own person to ask you like is this what you meant verify yeah verify verify that is my job and then your job is say yes that is or no it wasn't yep and a lot of times it's not i'm like no no all the times it's not but what that's what that does though is it it makes me be um self-reflecting on how i deliver that so when you go

did you say that and i'm like oh no i didn't mean it that way but then i go okay why did you take it that way and then it makes me kind of like hold myself accountable for like, okay, how did I deliver that?

And let me do it better this time.

Right.

Yeah.

How does social media affect me in my day-to-day life?

How does it affect our relationship?

I feel like me and you were just on, we're on our phones a lot.

I mean,

I think our generation is.

I think

everyone is.

And so I think, like, just the few cards go that we talked about, I think it's important for us to put our phones on.

Yeah.

Like, what is it?

What are we doing?

Yeah, right.

But I think what it comes down to is that, like, and I've been getting, it's been hitting me a lot more lately in the last like year, just like kids are growing up.

Yep.

Time is going by you're not getting it back what am i doing i think it is definitely a generation yeah i'm disconnecting i'm disconnecting from this stupid with this stupid device yeah for nothing and it's not even here in reality right my kids are here in reality my wife's here in reality you know

insane high group so i don't really think like it affects us like like it affects us like it's a problem

doesn't create like a problem in a relationship or anything but i but if if i could you know i definitely feel like you know yeah like we don't, it distracts us in the present.

That's what it is.

That's all it is.

It really is.

And I think people get all like,

I think people lie to themselves and say that it's for connecting with other people or whatever.

But I'm telling you right now,

the more this goes on, the more that I see, I don't think it has anything to do with connecting to other people.

I think what it does is you're subconsciously in a constant state of comparison.

Oh my gosh.

When you're scrolling, you're not, it's not the same as in like you're going through like a get a postcard from your grandma from Florida, like, oh, wow, they're in Florida.

It's different.

You're scrolling consistently,

seeing everyone's life.

And it looks all they only, and people only post the perfect stuff.

No, and right.

And

not just the perfect stuff or bass, but just like where they're at in life determines a lot of what they're posting.

So like, yeah, they're retired.

They're on vacations a lot.

Right.

You're not, you know what I mean?

Like, right.

So you're, but you're constantly, no matter what, you're constantly scrolling and just comparing all the time.

Because what else are you doing?

It's super.

you're not scrolling and be like, oh, I want to know what Janet's doing today.

Right, right.

If you didn't have social media, you wouldn't give a fuck about what Janet's doing today.

Right.

But you're doing it because you want to see if what Janet did today compares to what you did today.

But I think it's upcomes.

I don't think you're aware of it.

Like you're doing it, but I feel like that's why it's so addictive.

Technology is just toxic.

It is.

It's horrible.

Let's go back to foot phones.

You're a Blackberry.

Yep.

And we're back live during a flex alert.

Dialed in on the thermostat.

Oh, we're pre-cooling before 4 p.m., folks.

And that's the end of the third.

Time to set it back to 78 from 4 to 9 p.m.

Clutch move by the home team.

What's the game plan from here on out?

Laundry?

Not today.

Dishwasher?

Sidelined.

What a performance by Team California.

The power truly is ours.

During a flex alert, pre-cool, power down, and let's beat the heat together.

What is something I'm too hard on myself about?

I think one thing you're too hard on yourself about is like your appearance and your weight and like

that kind of stuff.

Like you

like I see sometimes when you'll like try on stuff and stuff and yeah, I can see you get really like just like shut down.

And I think you're also like harden yourself sometimes when like when you the random times you get frustrated with Veda or one of the kids.

It's like dude I know.

I'm very hard on myself.

You're the nicest mom ever.

Like, yeah, like, yeah.

You don't scar your kids today.

No, thanks.

By your whatever, but I feel like those things are like, yeah, you're hard on yourself.

I was going to say, I almost same.

Like, I feel like you're hard on yourself about being a good dad, which you are.

Yeah.

You're a great dad.

Our girls adore you.

They love you.

Literally, anytime Tyler disappears from the vicinity, Raya's always like, mom, where's dad?

Where's dad?

And I'm like, he's upstairs.

Why?

Where's dad?

And then every time you come down, I'm like, there he is.

And she's all excited, you know?

Also, too, I think something that you're it's funny because ours is kind of similar.

I think you're hard on yourself too about your body.

Like, I tell you all the time, I really feel like you struggle with body dysmorphia because of what you looked like at a younger age.

I probably do.

And I feel like that's something that is sad to me because I'm like, you're handsome.

Well, I know and I appreciate it, but I feel like, I don't know, I just feel like people

like it's an internal thing.

So

I could win a bodybuilding competition or something.

I feel like it's still going to be

and I think that's that's real.

But I also think it's something that's not talked about a lot is that I know it's a lot harder and more prominent for women, but men have it too.

Well, and I think not even

we have to be a certain way.

Right.

And I don't even think necessarily like men versus women, but I don't think that people understand that there is a such a thing of skinny shamed.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

Like, it's a thing, dude.

Yeah.

Men and women.

Yeah.

Like, please, people, stop telling people to eat a hamburger.

Stop saying stuff like bird legs.

Stop, just stop.

Because

if.

Yeah, because do you think they haven't tried?

They have.

They haven't tried eating hamburgers.

And I also feel like society accepts, oh, you eat a cheeseburger more than they accept you're a fat ass.

Right.

Or I guess the comparison would be, you should probably run more.

Right.

Or eat less.

No, one person says, eat a burger, that's acceptable.

But if I look at a fat person or a heavyweight person, whatever, and say, you should eat less burgers, people would be like,

Yeah,

gas and clutch your pearls.

But then when you look at a skinny person, say, eat an auto cheeseburger, there'd be a bunch of people like, ha, yeah, seriously, seriously.

You know, cheeseburgers, skinny, skinny, right?

It's because people still have this society is implant like just implanted in our brains that skinny is better, skinny is prettier.

Yeah.

And it's just not.

It's not.

And I mean, even

like our daughter, she's been struggling lately with being skinny.

I don't like that.

Yeah.

I hate that.

And I just always try to tell her, like, you know, but you are so beautiful.

And, you know, if there's anything you want to change, we can work on it, you know, like, but you're beautiful the way you are.

You're gorgeous.

You're kind.

You're, you know.

Well, and that's why I think with that situation, I'm just going to take her under my wing when she gets, you know, in the next two years because I feel like I don't want to get her working out too young because I just think

I want to be.

She does other stuff to herself.

Yeah, she does, like, you know, or cheer and stuff.

But I, but I think, you know, being her age and knowing a little bit of what that's like, I wish someone would have came to me and been like, hey, listen,

we're going to eat this kind of stuff and then I'll help you and we're going to lift weights and that's going to, you know what I mean?

Like, you know what else would probably help her is like teaching her about her metabolism.

That's what I mean.

Like it's not your,

yeah, it's not that you don't eat enough.

It's not that you can't make muscle or anything.

It's just the way your body is built.

And I got

ridiculed as a kid.

I know.

And it's like, because, oh, because my genetics, my high metabolism, I can't control my metabolism.

You You know what I'm saying?

I have no control in it.

Like, I have no control of it.

And literally, if people would have known, too, like, you were a bottomless pit growing up.

I remember, dude, this kid would eat anything under the sun.

I remember always being jealous.

Like, dude, you could eat five fucking pizzas and not even gain a half a pound.

But it didn't last forever.

No, I know, right?

Right.

But I'm just saying, you know, like, I don't think people realize that.

Like, you can be skinny shamed.

It's just not like everyone.

But it still hurts.

No, it does.

But I feel like people look at skinny shaming as in like, oh, cry about it.

People are telling you you're too skinny.

Dude, it's still fake.

It's like, no, dude.

With your emotional.

And I want to say, especially as a guy, because you get to

have muscle.

Yeah, ripped.

And especially when you're, we're growing up in, we're growing up the way we grew up in all the high school movies.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

They hired 30-year-olds to play 15-year-olds.

I'm like, dude.

No one looks like that.

Right, except for that one kid in middle school.

Oh, uh-oh.

Don't even say his name.

Oh, yeah, the one who grew a beard.

Yes.

Yeah.

And he was younger than us.

Dude, he had a beard in like fourth grade.

That shit was wild.

Yeah.

That's rare.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But like, yeah, like, I think stuff like that.

And I think it's harder for guys, especially guys who have a high metabolism.

And they don't, like, you know how some boys, they'll be kind of chubbier, like, kind of thicker.

And then they get go through puberty and they kind of lean out and they have muscle, whatever.

It's like when you're skinny from the get-go, and then you grow up and grow spurt, and you're not, you're in the skinnier because you're longer and taller.

You know how shitty that is?

Like, dude, I hated it.

Ooh, this is a good one.

How do you define cheating?

I define cheating as anything outside of the commitment, marriage, relationship, dynamic period where

your intentions are flirting or any kind of romantic connection or any kind of attention-seeking, that kind of thing.

You know what I mean?

Like, that's what I would, and that could be through anything.

Honestly, I think you could cheat with your thoughts.

I agree.

I think you're your ability.

I think you could cheat with your thoughts.

And I think, yeah, I mean, I don't know.

Yeah, I feel like because I would say, like, even just emotionally cheating, like, you know, you kind of feel weird things for somebody, but you're like talking to them or texting them or almost flirting in a sense, even via the phone.

It doesn't even have to be physical.

That is still cheating, in my opinion.

And also, like, the intentions behind your conversations, even if the conversation is like, oh, I wish we could have hung out today, but inside, you're like, I wish we could have hung out today.

Right.

That's cheating.

Like, that's you're, you're you're already checking out.

You are literally emotionally cheating as we speak.

Yep.

And I, and I truly believe that being emotionally, you can cheat.

Oh, yeah.

And I also feel like that's a slippery slope.

I think you should be self-aware to be like, ooh, like, I'm sorry, I'm feeling a little weird over here, but I'm feeling like, whatever you want to call it, like, then it's your responsibility to cut that off or break up with the person and pursue that.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, that's that's your, yeah.

I agree.

And then also, obviously, physically cheating.

Well, duh.

Also, like, sending pictures is a form of cheating.

Obviously.

I'm just naming all the things.

No, I think, but I think people are like, oh, yeah, like, no.

That's cheating.

Even flirting through messages, I'm telling you, bro.

And also, I'll be honest with you, I don't think it's smart to

have Snapchat and conversating on Snapchat, I think, is a slippery slope.

If I have, if I like, say, if I have a Snapchat, right, and a girl's like writing me, I would literally be like, we're not writing it.

Like, we're not communicating through this way.

You're going to move to the text messages where it's all tracked and recorded

because I'm not gonna be blackmailed at all, you're gonna fuck me, and also, I want to, I wanna, I just feel like for the other person, like,

why

are you communicating through a disappearing message app?

That's weird, that's why all online is literally all my girlfriends and your cousin Brandon.

That's it.

Well, I never, like, I rarely ever communicate with Snapchat, but I'm just saying, I think like

the generation before us is all snapping, yeah.

And I'm like, listen, I'll be honest with you, if I was in, if I was back then, if I was an 18, 19 year old

today with Snapchat, would it make you feel insecure?

It would make me say, delete, there's no need to have this app if we're together.

Controlling?

I mean, not the app itself.

Controlling, huh?

No, no, no.

But there's no need to be having any communication with a disappearing message app.

Yeah, it is weird.

Does that make sense?

And I don't know.

Maybe that is controlling.

I don't know.

It's kind of toxic.

Like, the app itself, I mean.

That's what I'm saying.

What is the point of disappearing messages?

You can save them and they won't disappear.

Oh, okay.

Well, then that would be, but then what's the point of having it?

Yeah, I fucking text you then, motherfucker.

I know.

Because that's my thing.

This app is not a good thing.

It's not good.

It's not good.

No.

Because there is nothing that I ever text with somebody that I wouldn't stand 10 toes down on what I said or prove or show someone else if they questioned it.

Like, oh, I'll show you what I said.

Well, and if you look at like, you know, like your niece's generation and my brothers, like all of them that growing up through the Snapchat stuff, they actually do bust their people, like cheating a lot through all the time.

That video that guy does it for a living, or that video series he does on YouTube, he'll be like, How much do you trust each other?

Oh, we've been together for five years.

All right, let's swap phones right now.

And he uses this app or something that he has on their phone, and you, dude, bro, I'm talking 20-year relationships.

The guy walks off.

Wow.

Swear to God.

And the girl gets, oh, we don't want to do this.

We trust each other.

We don't want to do this anymore.

Because at first, like, do you trust each other?

He like leads him into it.

He'll say, How long have you been together?

Blah, blah, blah.

All right.

Do you trust each other completely?

Of course.

Well, I had this thing switched phones because I had this thing.

I want to see if that's true.

And then all of a sudden, the girl's like, well, we don't need to do this.

This isn't right.

This is toxic.

We trust each other.

And then it's like,

oh man, I'll send it to you.

Yeah.

And it's usually through Snapchat.

Or they'll find, or they'll find their profile still on a dating website, like Bumble or whatever.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

All right, so I think we can

end this on this one.

What's one similar between us that you love?

Wait, wait, say it again.

What's one similarity between us that you love?

Wow, you say simularity.

Similarity.

No, I know, but I never heard someone say simularity.

Is that right?

It's similarity.

Similarity.

There's no you.

Whatever.

What's one similarity?

Similarity.

Simularity.

It's like a simulation, but

maybe we're in a simulation.

What's one similarity between us that you love?

Our

affectionate desires.

Yeah.

Like we have the same, like, we like to cuddle and touch.

Yeah.

And I was going to say, one similarity between you and I that I love is our

willingness and our big hearts to help people in need.

Yes, true.

You know what I mean?

Like you're like, yeah, our compassionate people are both very compassionate people.

You're right.

And if that doesn't show you that we're the world's best couple, I don't know what else.

You're fucking rage baiting right now because now you're getting all those motherfuckers.

You know, a little fucking rage bait.

You're toxic.

Yeah.

Well, I like I say, I think I've said it a few times on this podcast.

I sleep really fucking good at night because I know who I am as a person.

So

someone actually commented and saying, oh, yeah, she's pressed because you commented like laughing emojis.

I can't.

I did.

Because I was dying.

I don't remember what it was.

Someone sent it to me and they're like, oh, she's pressed right now.

We got her stirring or something.

And I'm like,

dude, I'm actually.

And then I looked at it.

The headline or something was like, Kate comments proving she's pressed.

I'm like, what does she say?

You know, I'm like, that's really weird.

Proving I'm whatever it was.

I can't remember what it was, but I was like, that's weird because I know her very well and that doesn't sound like something she'd do.

And I go to the thing.

I'm like, she's fucking.

And I literally was laughing.

I was like, she's responding with fucking laughing emojis, dude.

Like, damn.

Oh, because then they said something about having me pressed.

And I go, actually, I was really laughing laughing because it's comical.

Because it is.

Yes.

Guys.

Oh, God.

Well, that was fun.

That was fun.

Something different.

Yeah.

Maybe we should do it.

You know how they have other games like this?

Yeah.

Like

Dares, or they have, like, I don't know.

We're going to.

You wouldn't even let me kiss your foot.

Not happening.

Give me your foot.

That's disgusting.

And it ain't happening.

Stop it.

Yeah.

She just tried.

You guys, if you could,

guys who can't see.

And just listen.

Join the Patreon.

She just I just licked his big toe.

No, there was a member on Team Mom.

Who did it?

Jade.

Oh, God.

Yeah, she

sucked his big toe or licked it.

Dude, you don't understand.

That literally,

like,

I know, I think, okay.

One thing about Team Mom people, we've all done some, well, I guess not all, but a lot of them have done some nasty things like that.

Are like, what the fuck?

Like, you're fucking orange pissed up.

Yeah.

I had to bring that one up, huh?

I'm just saying, like, there's things, but dude, when I, I had to remember not turning away from that clip because I was like, she's not really going to do it.

She did.

She's like, oh, good.

I would lick your foot right now.

I would kiss it.

For sure, I would kiss it.

That's what I was doing.

All right, so Tyler's going to go puke.

No, when people have foot fetishes, I'm just like, I just want to fucking throw up all over you.

Because that's disgusting.

Well, you guys, thank you so much for joining us on another episode of Can't You Tie Break Down.

This one was fun and different.

And let us know what you think.

Yeah, let us know if you want us to keep doing.

I mean, this stuff's kind of funny.

Yeah, make sure you go like, review,

rate, and review.

My mother-in-law is calling me now, who has kids.

And

we'll talk to you guys next week.

Thanks for tuning in.

Bye.

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