Relationship Real Talk

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Speaker 5 so guys welcome back to another episode of game another episode

Speaker 5 um

Speaker 5 we are in new york city this week new york yeah actually it's super in and super out like we are here and then we're gone i'm at a bit i listen new york i have a i have a love hate relationship in new york Yeah, I feel like the first time you come to New York City, like the very first time we ever did, we were 16.

Speaker 5 And I remember like driving downtown, though, like over by like Times Square and stuff. And remember that first feeling you get when you see New York City for the first time?

Speaker 2 It's like, whoa.

Speaker 5 It was crazy, especially like kids like us. We come from just like a little country town.

Speaker 2 The biggest town we ever saw was Detroit. Right.

Speaker 5 And I remember driving through New York and be like, this is unreal.

Speaker 2 This was crazy. It was like surreal.
I also remember I had to bring my sister because

Speaker 2 our parents could, why couldn't our parents come?

Speaker 5 Probably. They're probably working.

Speaker 2 Yeah, something happened where my sister had to be our guardian or whatever it was for the day or for the time that we were there because we were still minors. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Which, when you think about it, like, isn't it weird to think about we were we were minors for one two three years of filming teen mom. Yeah, like dude, how did that even happen?

Speaker 2 Well, they had to have people sign for us. I know, but it's just weird to think about like, wow.
And then to think about what they filmed. Like, think about it.

Speaker 2 16 years ago, like, reality TV did look different. Oh, yeah.
It was super cool.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it just got, we just got past like

Speaker 2 real world part, and we're kind of leaning into like then Jersey Shore happened, which obviously is party days, whatever. Yeah.
And then our stuff, I feel like our show

Speaker 2 was similar to like

Speaker 2 True Life.

Speaker 5 That's what it reminded me of, too.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like it was so raw. And I feel like the difference now with reality TV is just so way different.

Speaker 5 I feel like now reality TV is just like all like drama. Like caddy girls beating each other up or like, you know.
Housewives. Right.

Speaker 5 Or lip, you know, couples living in houses seeing if they cheat on one another like drama that I told you that didn't I yeah, you told me

Speaker 5 about that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, bro, that's I want to get some of those people on the podcast because I want to talk to you about what the hell are you doing and what were you thinking temptation island dude?

Speaker 2 What's going on and why would you torture yourself like that? It dude, it is the craziest Show I've ever seen. I've only saw clips, but from the clips, I'm like, this is a this is some toxic ass shit.

Speaker 5 I feel like that's the type of show that would give me anxiety. Because I'm such an empath, you know?

Speaker 2 Like, oh my God, his heart is broken. So hug him.
Jack.

Speaker 5 Oh, my God. Poor Jack.

Speaker 2 No, but it's really, that show was literally insane. And anyone listening who's watched Temptation Island, you know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I've never even seen clips of it. But just what you described to me, I was like, that is horrible.

Speaker 2 No, it's bad.

Speaker 5 Like, it's probably a show that would make me cry.

Speaker 5 For the person being hurt.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 5 You know?

Speaker 2 And by the way, I'm sitting on this

Speaker 2 lowest couch I've ever been on in my life, guys. So, I mean, like, bro.

Speaker 5 It's great for me, but not for you. No, look at you.

Speaker 2 It's perfect for you. Look at your 90-degree bent leg.
Yeah, and you're if I put my leg on the ground, this is me.

Speaker 2 Like, what the very inverted 90-degree

Speaker 2 this is the first time I've ever been in the space recording, but yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think it's well actually we're in New York. We're doing a couple different things.
We're interviewing some more adoptees,

Speaker 2 which I'm really excited about.

Speaker 2 And we have a adoptee adoption competent therapist we're talking to.

Speaker 5 Which that'll be super interesting.

Speaker 2 Which that'll be really cool, which I'm excited about. That so New York, New York.
But we're probably, this will probably be the last trip to New York for us.

Speaker 5 Probably. I feel like we could find some really nice places in Detroit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and I think we've gotten in the swing of things.

Speaker 5 Well, and also like, hello, we're parents. And I feel like, you know, it's hard for us to go away.

Speaker 5 And so like this one, it's like we're recording today, tomorrow, and then tomorrow after recording, we're getting on a plane and flying home.

Speaker 5 So at least if we book something in Detroit, since we are parents, it'll be like we're going to work. We go to work for a few hours and then we can drive home.

Speaker 2 Because I think what it's hard when you're trying to do this type of work and you have to leave your state. Yes.

Speaker 2 Where there's practices and art class and just all this stuff that you have to do. Doctor's appointment.
Yeah, like and you can't, I don't know, I don't know how.

Speaker 2 I don't know how people do it, but I guess other people have like nannies. They got baby daddies.
They got grandmas and grandpas who are willing to help do stuff.

Speaker 5 And yeah, so thankfully, your mom was willing to do this trip.

Speaker 2 But you know, seriously, but this will be-that's why I'm like, you know what? For our schedules and stuff, and the fact that we don't have like

Speaker 2 a lot of extra help on hand is it's better to find a place in Detroit that makes sense.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that we were only gone for a few hours, not a few days.

Speaker 2 Yes, I can drive an hour home, and it's fine.

Speaker 5 So, but um, so I figured for this week, um, we do have a bunch of fan questions. we have a lot of fan questions yeah we do so i wanted to read some of these fan questions and then also

Speaker 5 i got this game like this card game for couples and so like we will ask each other questions and then answer them um and i think it's funny because you know we've been together for almost 18 years but and we really do know the ins and outs of every of each other but it's like sometimes like either i'll say something or you will and you'd be like i never knew that about you and i'm like oh my god right what was it the other day that you said something like and it's like i never knew that about you you.

Speaker 2 I can't remember what it was.

Speaker 5 Right. I know.
So it's funny how

Speaker 5 I don't remember what it was exactly. But isn't that funny? You would think that, like, after this long.
So, like, people that get married after two years, I don't know what y'all think.

Speaker 2 But you guys are crazy.

Speaker 5 I wanted to. So I definitely wanted to read some of these fan questions because, I mean, we get fan questions for the show all the time.

Speaker 2 Well, you also did that thing on Instagram where you ask anonymous.

Speaker 5 I do, yep. And I always keep an anonymous.

Speaker 2 Which that's really interesting.

Speaker 5 I feel like. Well, yeah, so that way people feel like they can ask us questions, you know.

Speaker 2 I like to bring them involved. I like to make you guys involved.
Yeah, absolutely. Like, I like the listeners to be involved.
It makes it more exciting.

Speaker 5 And believe me, we're not like therapists or anything. You know what I mean? But I feel like.

Speaker 2 And we're the last people probably to take advice from, but

Speaker 2 hey.

Speaker 5 But sometimes I feel like we have good advice. I don't know.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 5 I don't know. Y'all keep coming to us.
And I guess we're going to answer a few of them. All right, this first one says, Hello, my question is about relationships.

Speaker 5 What do you do to keep the sexual relationship strong? It's hard when you have children. It can also get old and hitting when you've been together forever.
I've been married for 23 years.

Speaker 5 My daughter is now grown, and I would like to reconnect with my husband. Um, I feel like, I know, that's cute.

Speaker 2 Here, I will say one thing. I think the one positive thing about this

Speaker 2 is that she's not like chalking it up to it's over,

Speaker 2 we don't love each other no more, the spark is gone, it's all like you're actively trying, like you're literally seeking it out.

Speaker 2 Like, okay, how can I want like for her to say I have the desire to reconnect? That's that's the main thing, that's what you need.

Speaker 2 Because I feel like people will try to force things if you don't have the desire to work on something, or you know what I mean?

Speaker 5 That it's like, all right, and also, I can relate to like

Speaker 5 being

Speaker 5 sexually intimate with a husband with your husband when you do have children is hard. It is, it's hard.

Speaker 5 I mean, when you're running, you're running all day or, you know, even just, even just them being there.

Speaker 2 Right. Like you can't be too fast.

Speaker 5 You can't be too loud, you know, or things like that. Like that is, it does make it difficult.
And also kids are exhausting. There's some nights, even us when we go to bed.

Speaker 5 And we kind of have this thing where it's like around dinner time or something. All we have to like literally say, either one of us has to say, like, I'm just super tired.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 And we know, oh, okay.

Speaker 2 Like, it's, it's, it's, and it's weird. I think every couple can kind of create their own little.

Speaker 2 like they can create their own thing. And I my suggestion, and this is just from our experience, like our lived experience, but um

Speaker 2 you can create any kind of code word. I don't care if it's an emoji.
I don't care if it's a

Speaker 2 sigh and like a oh, I just can't wait to go to bed tonight. Like right.
It could be any little slight thing.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it could even be something as like, I'm going to bed early tonight. I have a lot to do tomorrow.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You know, whatever.
Or just something as simple as, I just want to go to bed right away. Like I don't, like, I want to, I don't even want to watch TV.
I know.

Speaker 5 Like, ours is literally around dinner time when we're all getting the kids' plates ready and everything. And one of us just has to say, like, hey, I'm just really tired tonight.

Speaker 5 And then the other one knows.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay. Me too.
Yep. Got it.
Right. You know, or like, honestly, I guess for us, it's not exactly the same thing, but no.
You just get the vibe. I don't know.

Speaker 2 You're like, oh, I can't wait for bed tonight. You know what I mean? Right, right.
Right.

Speaker 5 And then it's like, oh, all right, clock.

Speaker 2 All right. Yeah, yeah.
But I think it creates it.

Speaker 2 It creates a communication that doesn't have to be said with long explanations or words or defense or negative yeah it doesn't have to be negative it's like oh you're tired cool sweet I'm tired too

Speaker 2 and I think we do it that way because I think it's

Speaker 2 it's it's more receptive and

Speaker 2 if you're not unless it's different if you're laying in bed making move and then they're like oh I'm really tired then it's like oh yeah then you feel that I feel like the then the other person has a tendency to feel like kind of rejected yeah which which which then what happens is is that that then that makes it personal and it's not personal no you know what I mean right no I'm just fucking tired.

Speaker 5 I would love to, I would love to have, you know, make love to you, but I'm just fucking tired.

Speaker 2 Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 You know, so I think it creates a safety,

Speaker 2 a safety net for people who like, you don't got to explain yourself. You don't got to get defensive.
You don't got to feel rejected.

Speaker 2 Do it before the nighttime routine. I don't care if that's whatever it is.
Whenever you guys are just sitting there like, oh, I just went for bed tonight. Figure it out.

Speaker 2 Or send an emoji. Send a text message.

Speaker 5 I don't care. But I feel like as far as like reconnecting, like, you know, she's saying how she wants to reconnect.

Speaker 5 I think like it does, for me personally, my advice would be like it doesn't even have to be sexually intimate. I feel like intimacy also starts out of the bedroom.

Speaker 5 So like go on dates with one another, cuddle, do some PDA when you're around at the house. Like just come up and hug him.

Speaker 5 Or, and honestly, I think the most important thing is to still date one another, no matter how long.

Speaker 5 You guys have been together. Do something special.
Go on a special date. Go to a really nice dinner.
Go walk on the beach with each each other and hold his hand.

Speaker 5 Like little things like that, I feel like lead to sexual intimacy. Like showing love and affection.

Speaker 2 Or at least leads to the desire for because I feel like

Speaker 2 I've just heard so many stories about like, you know, girls just saying like, you can't just jump in. Like you need to like warm me up.
Like I hug me throughout the day.

Speaker 2 If you don't show any intimacy throughout the day, that's not leading to sex, then

Speaker 2 of course,

Speaker 2 when you go for it, they're gonna be like, fuck no, you haven't touched me all day, you haven't even said, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Like, so it feels almost like, and honestly, it's not healthy, I don't think, really, because I don't think anyone should be felt like they're being used in some way or not desired, yeah, not

Speaker 2 you know, yeah, that's in a real way, not a selfish way, like you know, you want to connect with me.

Speaker 5 That's what I mean, like even doing different forms of intimacy, yeah, showing that you're loved and giving affection in different ways too, leads up to the deed,

Speaker 5 You know what I mean? And also, like, girl,

Speaker 5 your kids are out of the house.

Speaker 2 Dude, I know.

Speaker 5 You want to be as loud and as crazy as you want to be, you know?

Speaker 2 Why?

Speaker 5 And it's Tyler and I say it all the time. Like,

Speaker 5 from different people that we've talked to, or people in marriages, or, you know, friends that are in relationships and stuff, like, we have a very sexual, a healthy sexual

Speaker 2 life. Yeah.
Compare.

Speaker 5 I mean, compared to, like,

Speaker 5 when you hear stories of people,

Speaker 5 no, but like, when you hear stories saying like, oh, I get it maybe once a week or once a month.

Speaker 2 And me and Tyler are, whoa, dude. Are we nippos or what?

Speaker 5 Sorry, TMI. You know what I mean? But

Speaker 2 also, but no, it is shocking to hear. I'm like, whoa.
And some people are like, oh, we schedule it and it's, it's once every two weeks or something. And I'm just like, in my head, I'm just like.

Speaker 2 Yeah, why scheduling? For one, I mean,

Speaker 2 I date scheduling. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 2 I get why, though. I get why you need to schedule it.
Yeah. But I also get why scheduling also feels doomed doomed or feels not exciting or feels or like it's a job.

Speaker 2 Because honestly, that goes back to our thing that we have. What if

Speaker 2 we scheduled it and that day you just end up being tired? Right. And now I, now I don't.

Speaker 5 Or I started my period. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Now I don't feel like I have the freedom to say, oh, I'm so tired tonight, wink, wink, right? You know what I mean? Because you're like, oh, I scheduled it. Oh, man.

Speaker 2 It puts a weird like

Speaker 2 duty. And I'm not here to.

Speaker 2 I want to connect to you in a real way, not as a duty or real life. Not like as a job.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 And so for us, I think just we're just, some people's scheduling works out really great for them because of kids and works and jobs and stuff.

Speaker 5 But I think for our relationship, it's more or less like let it come naturally and it happens.

Speaker 2 Yeah, a lot compared to other. I mean, I was shocked when I hear other people, even people our age.
I'm like, what?

Speaker 5 Yeah.

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Speaker 2 We're all out of the ordinary.

Speaker 2 You guys,

Speaker 2 one kid goes to their all their parents for a weekend. Like, you have a house yourself.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so, but honestly, I don't think we even realize it. We just, we have a good relationship, and that's the way it is.

Speaker 5 And then I was going to say, and we also do, we are very affectionate, you know, throughout the day. We hug, we kiss, we cuddle.

Speaker 2 All the time.

Speaker 5 You know, yeah, I mean, it's to the point like where me and Ty will be hugging in the kitchen and then here comes all our little dogs.

Speaker 5 They see us loving and they're like, I want to love too.

Speaker 2 I know that. And they all hook.

Speaker 5 Even our dog. Yeah.
Remy.

Speaker 5 You know what I mean? Like, it's so normal around our house.

Speaker 5 Like, obviously, we we don't get gross, but it's like cuddles and like I'll hug him and like kiss him or just like hold him and lay my head on his chest. And then here comes Raya.
Here comes Veda.

Speaker 5 Here comes Noah. Here comes Remy.
Here comes the dog. And they're all in a big circle hugging around me and Ty who started hugging.

Speaker 2 It's almost like they sense it and they're like, oh, I want to get in on that. You know? Yeah.

Speaker 5 And then I'll remember the one time when Nova's good friend that's been, her and Nova are only two years apart or two months apart. Sorry.
So like they've grown up with each other.

Speaker 5 And the one time Nova's friend was at our house and me and Ty were like hugging in the kitchen and I pecked him on his lip and I'll never forget her friend saying, ew, that's gross.

Speaker 5 And Nova straight up looked at her and she goes, that's not gross. They just love each other.
I was like, yes.

Speaker 5 And I was like, see, like our daughters are seeing that like it's okay to be loving and affectionate. to one another.

Speaker 2 I'm like, listen, I'm a huge, I'm all about PDA.

Speaker 2 Don't get inappropriate, but I'm saying PDA. Show these kids that this is not something to be ashamed of.
It's not something that should be like secret or private or whatever.

Speaker 2 Like, it's okay to hug and kiss and cuddle in front of your kids.

Speaker 5 And because when they're older, if they get in relationships, I want them to know, like, oh, it's okay if I just randomly walk up to my husband and give him a hug

Speaker 2 or peck him on his leg. But there are people who are like, they do not believe in PDA.
Like, you will not see them do anything more than a peck in public. Like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 5 And in public, we're different. It's more or less hold hands.
I'll grab you from you, grab me from the side. I grab you from the side.
I might peck. That's about it.

Speaker 2 But I don't know. I just feel like some people,

Speaker 2 I said, bring on a PDA you know I mean go ahead go for it I think it shows I because I don't want I guess I just don't want any shame being attached to anything because it should not be because but I feel like in certain like cultures and societies and whatever you want to call it like they it does and it's like dude I just feel like if we

Speaker 2 start to attach shame to that development like as a kid as it's developing it just creates a whole other problem whole issue yeah because how do you your first experience is attached to shame yeah so not every experience after that's going to be like this thing yeah

Speaker 2 how do you ever break free from the shame and be able to be liberated in that space you can't you know because you're always constantly my mom said my grandma said oh i don't know i shouldn't be doing this and like even talking to my mom and stuff like it's just sad like i feel like I don't know.

Speaker 2 I just feel like the older generation just got like screwed in a way because there was no, there's barely any sex ad when they were growing up.

Speaker 5 Their parents didn't talk to that.

Speaker 2 Their parents didn't talk about it, which I think is super important to bring up because they raise us. Yeah.
So they, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 Like, so we were impacted by their impact, which was minimal. Right.
Not even taught, really. So, like, my mom even said that.
She, like, when my dad said,

Speaker 2 either you give it up to me or I'm leaving you, or I'm a guy. I have needs.
She said, I have needs. Like, she felt.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 5 And she said, She felt like she was forced.

Speaker 2 Yes. And she said, oh, my God, I do love him.
I have to do this for him. And see, so you, you, you, and I was like, mom, that probably shaped your whole life.
I hope you know that.

Speaker 2 And she was like, what do you mean? And I was like, it literally, you started out with thinking that your first experience had to be a service to someone else. Yeah.
So from that moment on,

Speaker 2 you're like, how do you like...

Speaker 5 That's why you never really enjoyed it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's because you felt like it was a damn duty or a service. And I can't, I hate that shit because I feel like people use that excuse of like, oh, well, a guy is a guy and they have needs.

Speaker 2 What are you talking about? A girl don't have needs either? Right. And I absolutely do.

Speaker 2 And I also feel like they get it so fucked up because it's like, you, you really believe that guys think about it more than girls do? Right.

Speaker 2 No, guys are just more able to say it out loud because society accepts it. Oh, yeah, bro.

Speaker 2 The girl says that they're like, slut. You know what I mean? So it's like, dude, I don't want to hear that shit.
Developing girls, just like developing, like, they all have it.

Speaker 5 I mean, there's plenty of times in my mind where I'm like, damn, Zaddy.

Speaker 2 I want to eat you up, you know?

Speaker 5 The next question I have is. I'm currently 12 weeks pregnant and share a four-year-old with my partner.
We've been together for seven years.

Speaker 5 I found out this week that he's been going to massage parlors and receiving happy endings, spending our family's money on this.

Speaker 5 He's been around six to seven times in the last six months, and that's including when I've been pregnant. I've also found out he's been messaging escorts.
He works away a lot.

Speaker 5 As recently as just last week, he says he's never gone through with it, as that's a step too far.

Speaker 2 Obviously, I love him.

Speaker 5 He's so he's been messaging escorts, but hasn't supposedly met with one because that's a step too far.

Speaker 2 But a happy ending is not

Speaker 5 obviously, obviously, I love him, but I don't know what to do for our family's sake at this point. He is a great dad and usually a great partner, and we get along so well.

Speaker 5 I just feel so disgusted by him at the minute. Help.

Speaker 5 Okay, from a woman.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 5 I don't even like that's from a woman's perspective, okay?

Speaker 5 If I ever found out that you were going to massages, happy ending massages and messaging escorts, even if you didn't meet up with an escort, I would leave. Absolutely.
Because

Speaker 5 that is completely a form of cheating. Whether you're touching the girl or not, she is still touching you and doing stuff

Speaker 5 and giving you pleasure that I feel I should only be able to give you. And I know you're pregnant and you have kids and you say that he's a great dad.

Speaker 5 So why wouldn't he be a great dad even if you guys were separated? I feel like you need to take care of yourself.

Speaker 5 And for me, if I were to stay in a situation like that, I feel like my mental, God,

Speaker 5 my mental

Speaker 5 health would be at major risk because anytime he leaved or anytime he went somewhere, I would think he's cheating on me. And I would not be able to live like that.

Speaker 5 And I, I honestly think that you need to leave him and show him. Like, you know, sometimes people don't realize what they got till it's gone.
And you sound like a great mom. I would leave.

Speaker 2 I mean, listen, listen, my you sound like you're,

Speaker 2 I think you've overstayed. Yes, like you're it's.

Speaker 2 I'm

Speaker 2 I'm so I have so many questions now because, like, okay, so you find out that this is happening, you're going, I don't care, escort, massage, parlor,

Speaker 2 prostitute, whatever the, I don't care what happened, yeah, you are seeking something outside of your marriage, outside of your commitment with this person.

Speaker 2 I don't care, I don't care if you haven't even touched anybody, messaging, sexing, anything. It's you're you're operating outside of our thing.
Yeah, it's the same thing as cheating. It is.

Speaker 2 I think people are like, oh, well,

Speaker 2 it is. I don't care what people say.
They can say, oh, it's not that cheating. I was just flirting.
Flirting, talking outside of your marriage. Like, dude, bro, that is, that's it.

Speaker 2 You might as well just go screw the other person because at this point, I feel the same way. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And like, if I found out you were messaging someone else and nothing ever happened, maybe you never even met each other, but you were having that conversation at flirting it. Like, bro.

Speaker 5 You're still emotionally cheating. You are.
And I believe believe that's the same. You can be emotionally cheating or sexually and intimately cheating.

Speaker 5 Like, if you're spilling all your thoughts and feelings and emotions to somebody, that's fucking cheating.

Speaker 2 Yeah, especially, well, I mean, you can talk to people, but not in a flirty way, not in a right.

Speaker 5 That's what I mean, though, in those sorts of ways. And then, also, for him to

Speaker 5 say that he's been messaging escorts but hasn't met up one, I would be like, I don't believe you. You've already been going to happy ending parlors.
I do not believe that.

Speaker 2 Bro, okay,

Speaker 2 what the hell is the difference between going to a happy ending massage parlor or an escort? Bro, your massage therapist, I hate to bring it to you, is a fucking escort. Right.

Speaker 2 Because I don't care what act you're doing, you're paying her for a service that ends in this result.

Speaker 5 And what's crazy is like nine out of ten times, those women in those massage parlors are being sexually trafficked.

Speaker 2 Which is even dude.

Speaker 5 And then you are, then you are giving to that also. Did she say she has a kid, right? Yes, they have a child and she's pregnant.
Oh my God, this poor woman.

Speaker 2 All right. You just just got to leave, and it's going to be hard.
And, um, and I hate that my opinion is there's no going back, coming back from this. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't know what the ages are, um, but he's got an issue.

Speaker 5 I think she, I think she said how, how old he was. Um,

Speaker 5 a four-year-old.

Speaker 2 No, the guy. Oh, the guy.
I don't know how much they can't. No, I don't know how old they are.
Like, right.

Speaker 2 Because I, I, I, there's an uprise in like addiction to porn and stuff from not our generation, but like your little brothers.

Speaker 2 Oh, like they're coming, they're they're like the 20-year-olds, like whatever. Yeah, um,

Speaker 2 and it's because they've had access, they've had access to it since they even started like anything. So, I like that sounds like you got an issue to me.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I would say she needs to, you know, get a big support system, like her family or friends, or you know, she needs to get a tribe.

Speaker 5 And I would leave, there's no way I'd be able to sleep next to him at night. No, and like you said, he's a good dad, so let him be a good dad away from me.

Speaker 2 And I have to, I'm a dad, so I don't think he's that great of a dad as you're saying he is.

Speaker 2 I get your saying he's a good dad, maybe to your children, but a good dad is not seeking things outside of the relationship with that child's mother, breaking that bond, breaking the family up, going to a massage, bro.

Speaker 2 Just a good point. That's a good point.
Like, I'm sorry. Like, I understand that, like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 I just feel like any guy who's willing to sacrifice his whole family unit for a fucking happy ending massage. Are you fucking kidding me? For a bro job or a bad idea

Speaker 5 or a whack-a-doodle.

Speaker 5 You know, like what?

Speaker 2 Wack a doodle, the noodle. Right.

Speaker 5 Come home.

Speaker 5 I will choke your chicken.

Speaker 2 You know? No, for real, though. Like, yeah.
So I'm sorry. I disagree that the fact that he's a great dad.
I don't think he's that great of a dad because a great dad

Speaker 2 would not do that.

Speaker 5 Wouldn't be breaking up.

Speaker 2 He would be able to, he would, a good dad would come to her and say, I'm not happy with this. I wish we had more of that.
Whatever, whatever, whatever his main issue is. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And like I said, maybe his main issue is being addicted or being like.

Speaker 5 He could be a sex addict. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like a sex. This is a real thing.
I think people don't, this is a real thing. Like,

Speaker 2 it's a super hard addiction. Yeah, because it's available everywhere.
It's available in your hand. It's on your phone.

Speaker 2 It's everywhere.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 the more comfortable and liberated society gets with it, it's almost like the more liberated we get, hallelujah, great. We all should have sexual freedom.
But at same time,

Speaker 2 with that new freedom, we should have more regulations. Like,

Speaker 2 you should not be able to log in to porn sites without having verification of something.

Speaker 2 I don't care what it is.

Speaker 5 You gotta take a picture of your life.

Speaker 2 Something like it just doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 2 So, like, I don't know if the issue is like he's got an addiction problem, which that could be worked on, but I still think for that to be worked on, you got to leave. Yeah.
You can't. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't think it's fair for you to be a pregnant woman sitting there dealing with that bullshit on top of being a mom, on top of dealing with his own personal issue. Because

Speaker 2 yeah, at this point, it's his issue. Yeah, this is not your issue, right? And you don't deserve it.
So, get the hell out, take a break, yeah, do something, honestly.

Speaker 5 And maybe even just separate for a while and say, You need to get there, you need to go to therapy and work on yourself, yeah, and be separated for a long time and try that. Maybe even counseling too

Speaker 2 for a while, yeah. And also, my opinion is if he's a good dad, he will leave.
Yeah, you should not have to leave with your kids, Yeah. Move their bedrooms, move their

Speaker 2 any of that shit.

Speaker 2 And I'm, and I, because, dude, my, my, my, my mom told me that when they, her and my dad broke up after my sister was born, he kicked my mom out and she asked him for the trailer they were living in.

Speaker 2 She's like, can I please have the trailer? Can you go stay with whoever your idiot friends are, or whatever the case is until we figure this out? He said, no. And I'm like, dude, that is so fucked.

Speaker 2 Red flag. Bro.
Any guy who is not willing, I don't care if, I actually don't care if the mom did something wrong.

Speaker 5 You're kicking your child out. You're not.

Speaker 2 You are the guy. You're one guy.
You're one dude. And even if she's in the wrong, you leave the house.
Let the children have their bedroom. Let them have that space where they know their mom's.

Speaker 2 I know that's probably controversial because they're like, oh, if the bitch cheated, she needs to leave. No, no, no.
You don't understand. She's not just a bitch.
She's the mom.

Speaker 2 So you need to separate your...

Speaker 2 you know, feelings about her and recognize that and leave the house.

Speaker 5 Well, and then plus too, it's, you know, you want your children to have a sense of normalcy throughout the whole thing.

Speaker 2 You know? Yeah, like I can't imagine the guys who make women leave and uproot their children. That's weird to me.
You're going to kick your kid.

Speaker 2 You're going to make your kid leave their bedroom because you and her got to be able to get some of them. I know some guys like that.
Like, it's like, dude, what the? That's gross. It's disgusting.

Speaker 2 Like, no, I think every guy who's a real dad.

Speaker 5 I feel really bad for her, and I hope that she definitely separates.

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Speaker 2 Also, call on these massage parlors. Be the place shut down.

Speaker 5 Yeah, because I'm telling you, they're

Speaker 2 your husband is contributing to sex trafficking.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And you need to shut that shit down.

Speaker 5 Because there was a couple in Michigan.

Speaker 5 My hairdresser, literally next door, was the same thing. It was like a happy-ending parlor.

Speaker 5 And a few of them got busted and shut down. And guess what? They were being sex trafficked.
They lived in the apartments across the street, couldn't drive, couldn't do anything.

Speaker 5 All they would do was walk across the street and go work.

Speaker 5 Wow. Yeah.
And a couple of them got busted and shut down. And it was proven that they were being sex trafficked and like held against their will.

Speaker 2 So I hate to say this on top of all the pressure you have, lady, whoever this is, you also have a mandated report of responsibility. Absolutely.

Speaker 5 That if you and if you know which ones he went to, I'd be calling the police and absolutely.

Speaker 2 And they'll set up a sting. They'll figure it it out, but you need to tell someone.
Yeah. Because that shit's.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's sad.

Speaker 2 God damn, pregnant. What the? Yeah.
What's wrong with people? It just blows my mind, dude. Damn.

Speaker 5 Gosh, some of these poor women. I tell you what.

Speaker 2 Is that all you're getting?

Speaker 2 What is the next one?

Speaker 5 I have a two-year-old and I'm eight months pregnant.

Speaker 5 And my husband has told me several times he wouldn't be with me if it weren't for our daughter and this pregnancy because I'm a bitch and an asshole.

Speaker 5 I've given up my entire life and dreams to be his wife and a stay-at-home mom, and I have nothing of my own.

Speaker 5 My only break is when I'm doing laundry or taking a shower.

Speaker 5 And in two years, I've only been away from my daughter two times for an hour and a half both times, while he works with celebrities and goes to events multiple times a month here in Vegas.

Speaker 5 I don't want him miserable hating me, but I'm also one month away from giving birth, and

Speaker 5 I don't know what I should do. My soul is broken.
I don't know if he's hated me like this since before I was ever pregnant or if the back-to-back pregnancies made me a bitch and made him hate me.

Speaker 5 I've completely given up on myself and do everything for him and my daughter and unborn child.

Speaker 2 All right, this is where I feel like there's a balance between self-betraying and like and kind of self-maintenance because you're you're you're what I'm hearing is you're literally just betraying yourself over and over and over again.

Speaker 5 For the first time, especially first of all, did you switch to some multiple times? He calls her a bitch out of her name, calls her out of her name, bro.

Speaker 2 That's that's number one. Number one,

Speaker 2 and I think people, I think people like will say, oh, you're too sensitive, or oh, that's, that's stupid. No, I'm, I'm not kidding.

Speaker 2 Like, I can, I know when I'm joking and say, oh, don't be a little bitch.

Speaker 2 Right. Don't be bitchy.
Like, it's different.

Speaker 2 You're calling your other person, significant other, spouse, whatever, out of their name, it ruins. It just destroys all.

Speaker 5 The foundation.

Speaker 2 Yes, it just, it just destroys it. Why would I ever, it's like, would you ever call your mom out of her name and call her a fucking bitch? Would you call your grandma? Private.

Speaker 2 Like, would you ever call your grandma a stupid bitch? Like, I don't care what it is. You don't.
Okay, well, then your spouse, like, you don't ever, why would you want to call them out of their name?

Speaker 5 Well, and then, and if he's, and it's so sad because, like, women that stop everything, stop working everything to be a stay-at-home mom and to raise kids.

Speaker 5 Um, and now you're saying that you don't love me and you hate me, and that you're only with me because of the kids.

Speaker 5 Um, unfortunately, then they're left like they have nothing, they have no money, money. They have no form of showing proof of income.
So, and so you have to feel very, very stuck. I mean, bullshit.

Speaker 5 And so the only thing that I can think of is if you have any family, reach out to family. Also, I would go to the state.
I would reach out to the state,

Speaker 5 try to help with getting funds or finding somebody else.

Speaker 2 She

Speaker 2 has to leave first. State ain't going to help her unless you leave.

Speaker 5 So then she would have to lean on family and friends because literally these women have nothing.

Speaker 2 Dude, and that's what's crazy because I think people get it twisted where it's like like i see some i see some of these like even some people on tiktok like the creators where they're like um oh wow must be nicer a stay-at-home wow and they show themselves working like oh and they're like i you know i have no problem like my man comes home to a cooked meal and a clean house and all this other shit that's great if it works yeah however in this instance

Speaker 2 This is proof that a woman could do everything quote unquote right in the right way to do it. And if he gets a little fucking sick up his ass, now your whole sacrifice is gone.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 In the blink of an eye, because this guy had a

Speaker 2 whatever he had. Something happened, but that's not fair.
And so I feel like I don't.

Speaker 5 Or who knows when he's calling her a bitch?

Speaker 5 Maybe, maybe she's got an attitude. Why? Maybe because Billy was throwing a fit all damn day.
She couldn't get anything or who knows? Yeah. He was, you know, like, raising kids is stressful.

Speaker 5 And when you're doing it 365,

Speaker 5 you know, every single day of your life, it's emotionally draining, physically draining. Like it's sometimes it's just exhausting.
And it sounds like to me that she doesn't ever get a break.

Speaker 5 She mentioned the two times that she did.

Speaker 5 Which that's resentful.

Speaker 2 I feel like that's, she's, she's bitter there. And she should be.

Speaker 5 Yeah. And so, of course, you're going to be overwhelmed as hell.
And as parents, we need to have a break every now and then just to like,

Speaker 5 you know, re,

Speaker 5 we need to have a break every so,

Speaker 5 why am I sulning on my words?

Speaker 2 Every now and then, as parents, we need to have a a break so that we we can just reset our mind yes and here's my thing though like take a look i want to make great i want to make it very clear a shower is not a fucking break okay

Speaker 2 uh uh reading a book in the bath is not a break yeah um folding laundry i just like yeah going to do laundry it's not a break is not a break i think for especially for stay-at-home moms don't don't get it twisted yeah personal hygiene is not a break from being a mom it's a a fucking necessity.

Speaker 2 You got to take a shit. Yeah.
You know what I mean? You got to brush your teeth. Yeah.
These are things that are not considered.

Speaker 2 And when people say, oh, the only breaks I get is when I have to shower. What the fuck?

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's not a break. That's not a break.
And any mom out there knows that.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 if this guy's telling you that's a break, that's considered a break. He's a fucking asshole, dude.
Like, what?

Speaker 5 And any moms out there that have their kids, 365, 24, 7, know that even if you're just trying to take a bath,

Speaker 5 those crotch goblins are banging at the door wanting to get in the bathtub with you too. Are you going to go to the bathroom?

Speaker 2 Like, they're like, what are you doing in there?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I'm like, I'm just trying to pee.

Speaker 2 So I think, and that right there goes to show, like, I hate that, that thought process that she, somewhere in her life, someone made her believe that taking a shower is a break. Sad.
And that is just.

Speaker 5 It was probably him.

Speaker 2 I have a feeling it was.

Speaker 5 I think she needs to separate because if you were to all these people.

Speaker 2 I feel bad we're telling all these people to separate, but dude, you're in these situations. Also, going to Vegas to celebrities.
So, that right there is like, what's going on? You clearly have

Speaker 5 a lot of in Vegas, probably.

Speaker 2 Or, I got it, but you, there's enough money to maybe.

Speaker 5 Well, then, hopefully, you've been married long enough so you can divorce his ass and pay half of it all.

Speaker 2 Because,

Speaker 5 because if my husband was looking at me saying, you're a bitch, and I wouldn't be with you, if it wasn't for the kids, I'd be like, I'm fucking gone.

Speaker 2 Then, what am I here? Yeah, gone. Here's my thing, too: is you think

Speaker 2 that

Speaker 2 someone staying with you for the sake of the kids is a win, not a win.

Speaker 2 You lost already. And I think people get it so twisted.
Oh, I'm going to stay with them for the kids.

Speaker 2 You ain't doing shit for your kids, but showing them how to not operate in a healthy way in a relationship. That's all you're doing.
You think

Speaker 2 it's not good. Yeah, no.
It's not good because the kids may not.

Speaker 2 Even if you don't argue in front of the kids, they can still sense the tension and energy. They pick it up way better than adults.

Speaker 2 So you're thinking process of like, oh, we'll stay together for the kids, even though I hate this woman or I hate this guy, but I'll stay with the kids you're you're you're it's you're already lost.

Speaker 2 Stop because you're not doing your kids any favors and I know how you just said too like oh my god I feel baby.

Speaker 2 We're telling everybody to leave well the one guy is getting happy ending massages and this guy's calling you a bitch and saying that he doesn't if it wasn't for the kids Yeah, so these are both reasons why you should when he says I wouldn't be you if it wasn't for the kids That pretty much there's no other message to take away from that than you don't want to be with me.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's sad like what okay well I'm gonna make it super fucking easy for you, and I'm out, right? You know, like, dude.

Speaker 5 But that's the thing, though, is like, it's super hard when you know you don't work, you haven't worked, and you have no, you know, none of your own money or any of those things.

Speaker 5 Like, I really, really hope that you have some family that you can lean on.

Speaker 2 And here's my kind of thing: I feel like in society, I feel like I see a lot of men manipulating women in a way to make them think it's honorable. Stay at home, mom.
I'll work, don't work.

Speaker 2 I'll take care of you if you do X, Y, Z and take care of me.

Speaker 5 See, and as long as you have like a really good down-to-earth man who really believes that, awesome.

Speaker 2 It is intentional.

Speaker 5 But then you have some of those narcissistic guys, like this guy, it sounds like, where it's like, if you're not doing things right, or he comes home and you have a little bit of an attitude because you've been overwhelmed with everything.

Speaker 2 And he thinks a break is a shower. Right.
That's wrong. It is.

Speaker 2 And my thing about it is, is that you're like, it's not, I just don't, I see it happen where it's like, and then the girl goes, oh, I, I feel pride and honor. I'm a stay-at-home mom.

Speaker 2 I don't have to make money. Yeah.
I take pride in making a hot meal every, you know, all those things.

Speaker 2 But when it comes down to it, why do you feel so much pride in it? Because he's telling you you should feel pride for it. He's telling you that it's what a, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Like, so it's in a way of like, how,

Speaker 2 what a bullshit trap. Yeah.
But that's.

Speaker 2 In a way, like for a guy to, and I'm talking, I'm talking about real genuine guys who, like you said, but like the ones who, like, a real genuine guy is not going to call you a bitch. No.

Speaker 2 Not going to think that taking a shower is a break from being a mom. Like, those certain things.

Speaker 2 And so it's sad to see women almost fall for this trap of like,

Speaker 2 because I'm edified. Even in society,

Speaker 2 I'm talking about the, I was talking earlier about the TikTok moms who are like, my man making my man a lunch

Speaker 2 or she wakes up earlier to make him a, yeah.

Speaker 5 To make a lunch for work. And I'm saying that's cool.

Speaker 2 If that feels good for you, great.

Speaker 2 But for anyone else out there who is not feeling that real love and feeling like

Speaker 2 you're some kind of servant, that's what it reminds me of. And I swear to God,

Speaker 2 that is the last thing that I think normal guys don't want. I don't think normal guys want a servant, an extra mom,

Speaker 2 to baby them. I don't think men want women to do that for that.

Speaker 5 There are some out there.

Speaker 2 I think you're fucked up. Yeah.
I think you're

Speaker 2 a bitch. I think you're a little bitch.

Speaker 5 Because, like, because you know what's funny is, like, I've seen the ones kind of what you're talking about where she's like, my husband gets up at six, so I get up at four. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And I make his coffee and I make his lunch. And I'm like, fuck no.
Make your own fucking coffee, bro. I'm not, you know, like, it'd be different.
And I don't know how it's different.

Speaker 5 Like you said, like, obviously, if obviously, if you had to work,

Speaker 5 you know, like had to get up early, I would totally make lunch for you and I wouldn't mind doing that. But I'm not getting up at four to make you fucking coffee.

Speaker 2 Babe, here's the thing, though.

Speaker 2 But see, as a guy who genuinely loves you, I would never expect you or shame you into

Speaker 2 thinking you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 So I don't care if I do got to get up at four in the morning or five in the morning.

Speaker 2 I would never, ever in my life would I ever expect my wife to get up an hour earlier than I have to just to make me coffee or make me a lunch. Like, if anything, I love you so much.
Please sleep.

Speaker 2 I'll go make the money. You don't have if you don't have to get up at four in the morning, please don't.

Speaker 5 I'll make you dinner when you get home.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because you're with the kids and I'm out. So, like, I think any normal dude, I actually would,

Speaker 2 like, say if we, that happened and, like, you got up earlier and made me something. I'm like, thank you so much.
Don't ever do this again. Do you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 Like, I appreciate you so much, but don't ever do this again because now I feel, I don't know, I feel guilty. I would feel guilty.

Speaker 2 And I know some guys don't feel guilty and I get it, but I don't know. I just feel like, I don't know.
I feel like this old, like archaic

Speaker 2 family dynamic unit thing where stay-at-home moms cook and clean and everything. And God, I just feel like old school.
Something about it just rubs me the wrong way. I don't know why.

Speaker 2 And maybe it's because I was raised by a single mom, so sitting here, I couldn't imagine. My mom never served any guy that she dated.

Speaker 5 Well, yeah, and I and I think,

Speaker 5 but I and I do think, like, some women out there, it does bring them joy to do those things. And if that's something that does bring you joy to cook and clean for

Speaker 5 your family and your husband, absolutely do it. Whatever brings you joy, if it's building resentments, fucking stop.

Speaker 2 Which clearly with this girl, I think she is building resentments because she's talking yeah she's doing all the things and he's calling her a bitch yeah she's mentioning twice too that she only's been away from her kid twice and for an hour and a half yeah for an hour and a half which i don't know what that means but right i think at that point especially with stay-at-home moms i think you demand i get two days a week to do something nails done right something uh

Speaker 2 fucking coffee with my girlfriend and whatever spend the night at my girlfriend yeah yeah going to bar night i think i really think two nights is good and i think those two nights are the nights that the guy has to stay with the kids.

Speaker 2 Absolutely.

Speaker 2 Like, you know what I'm saying? When you get your hair done, you're gone for it all day. I got the kids.
You know what?

Speaker 2 Your birthday, setting up your nail appointment, that was important for me because

Speaker 2 I wanted to guarantee that you had that happening. You know what I'm saying? Because you'd go so long without having them done.
You know what I mean? I'm like, this isn't fair.

Speaker 2 So there's certain things where it's like, I don't know. I just feel like, why would you want your woman to be such a slave at home? Like, does that make you feel good?

Speaker 2 It would have made me feel good at all.

Speaker 5 I would not thank God, thank God, you're a good guy and you have a good heart because there's, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Honestly, to me, I think it's like unattractive, yeah, in a way, yeah, like, and I know that's that's like countercultural, but like, I think

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Speaker 2 like like oh my god or one of the one of the um one of the things she listed she was making like she's making one of those sourdough moms she's making bread and like you know how the tick tock videos will have like like like it'll like they'll write stuff as they're just like making bread well she writes and she she says um that uh

Speaker 2 you know she makes certain say home home or pack lunch in the morning for for work for my husband and then it goes hot meal every when he comes home from work uh dinner served to him he first plate oh i serve my kids mind blown okay i'm gonna tell you right now and maybe everyone can disagree i serve i'm a father and i'm a husband and i'm telling you right now there i'm not getting my plate or i wouldn't expect my plate to be done for me before my kids.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. What the fuck is I doing?

Speaker 5 That's the first thing I do is I get my kids plate.

Speaker 2 Me and your chop, chop, chop, chop, little piece of little pieces. And then there's two plates.
And we, and then, and then when they're sit down, then we get ours. We get ours.

Speaker 2 And I feel like, I don't know why that's so, that seems so weird to me where it's like, he always gets the hot plate or the first hot served plate.

Speaker 5 Like, get it your goddamn self.

Speaker 2 So I'm ahead. I'm like, wait, so you're actually preparing multiple plates because you got to cut your

Speaker 2 husband's plate first

Speaker 2 before the kids? How about we have multiple kids, two adults? You work on one kid's plate. I'll work on the other kid's plate.
And then after they're sitting at the table, we get our plate. Yes.

Speaker 2 And then boom. And I think as a parent, I'm like, I would never expect me to eat first before my kids.

Speaker 2 And I don't know if that's

Speaker 2 rare or not. Break.

Speaker 5 I just want to know: your niece has hand, foot, and mouth.

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 our kids were supposed to go over there today, and I'm about to tell

Speaker 2 absolutely not. Stay away from me.
What the f?

Speaker 5 Okay, my kids cannot come to your house then.

Speaker 5 It is highly contagious.

Speaker 5 Vada had it like three years ago and she had sores in her mouth and in her throat.

Speaker 2 Hell no.

Speaker 2 Stay away. Stay far away.

Speaker 5 Don't come over. Hopefully that's not what you have on you.

Speaker 2 No, this is these are itchy bite, like mosquito bites from working in the yard.

Speaker 5 We're texting. We can talk about this later, but Lexis just texted me and said she has hand, foot, and mouth disease.

Speaker 2 No, the kids cannot go to her house.

Speaker 5 It is highly contagious and super painful.

Speaker 2 See, we're trying to come work them again. I know.
Seriously, I'm like, how do people go away?

Speaker 5 All of a sudden, your niece is like, I have hand, foot, and mouth. My kids are supposed to go there today.
I'm like, the fuck you are.

Speaker 2 No. Well, deal with that crisis.

Speaker 5 Please do not take my kids over there. No, it was horrible.

Speaker 2 They'd have had it like three years.

Speaker 5 Listen, you weren't even home. You were gone.

Speaker 2 And I didn't know. Um,

Speaker 2 I didn't know that it got like that. I thought it was just like,

Speaker 2 like, I thought it was just like a little like a rash or something. I didn't know what, I didn't know what to do.

Speaker 5 No, she had them in her mouth and in her throat. She couldn't even drink water.
She would drink water and scream in pain. It was the worst.

Speaker 2 And then, where was I in California with my grandma's?

Speaker 5 I don't know where you were. I don't remember, but

Speaker 5 yeah, it was the worst, absolute worst thing that I've ever experienced in my life. And then Raya got it, but not as severely as Vada had it.
Like, she just got bumps on her hands.

Speaker 5 But then I remember, like, three weeks after we were all over the hand, foot, and mouth thing, all of the tops of Vada's nails started peeling off. And I remember I freaked out.

Speaker 5 I was like, what the hell is going on?

Speaker 2 That's like a symptom. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And I Googled it and it said one of like, it's a rare symptom of it, but it can happen. It's like all the tops of layers of her nails were peeling off.
Yeah, dude. So do not take my kids to her house.

Speaker 5 Do not. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 I will freak out.

Speaker 2 That would suck to come home to.

Speaker 2 Oh, all right.

Speaker 2 Sorry.

Speaker 5 Kids, this is why I'm like, how do people go places? I need to tell my mother-in-law, do not take my kids anywhere.

Speaker 2 I know. I need to connect with Kale and get her nanny's number or something.
Seriously. I don't know how she does this shit.
God.

Speaker 5 Well, I thought that we were going to be able to get to the card game today of answering questions, but I feel like we have taken so much time on the questions.

Speaker 2 Oh, the questions?

Speaker 5 Yeah, for me and you. But maybe we can do this.

Speaker 5 We're here for a couple of days, so maybe we can do that

Speaker 5 on our next solo after we film with these adults.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay, yeah, true, true, true.

Speaker 5 Because I'm excited about this. I feel like it's a good way to do it.

Speaker 2 You never really did it before.

Speaker 5 No, and I feel like it's a good way to open up conversation and ask just different questions that a lot of people in relationships don't think to ask.

Speaker 5 So I'm excited to do it.

Speaker 2 And we've never seen these before. So, like, this is all these questions, like.

Speaker 5 And it's different levels of questions

Speaker 2 what do you mean different levels like

Speaker 5 so there's level one level two level three level one is perception

Speaker 5 level two is

Speaker 2 if i can get it out of here without reading them connection and then level three is reflection So perception, connection, reflection.

Speaker 5 And it's called We're Not Really Strangers Couple Edition. So I think it'll be interesting.
And I think we just randomly pull them.

Speaker 2 All right and um i feel like it could bring up different conversations and we can talk about each of the questions you know what i mean that'll be interesting yeah i'm excited for it actually like i said like even after being 18 years together there's still some times where one of us will say something and i'll i'll be like i never knew that i wish i could remember what it was right god it was just a couple days ago i know babe i never knew that like what that is true what was that what was it i'm growing up or something Yeah, I don't remember.

Speaker 2 Something that you experience or something like that. And I'm like, oh, what? Yeah.

Speaker 5 But it's funny. 18 years, we're still finding out.
But also, I'm sorry for every question that we asked, that we answered today about some of these ladies. Please, please, please get a support system.

Speaker 5 Please seek some therapy just for yourself. Yeah.
And definitely lean on family and friends and get away from these fucking misogynistic assholes. I'm sorry, but they all sound disgusting.

Speaker 2 And also, I also would also like go back in time and ask yourself if you saw any red flags did you hear any red flags did anything stick out to you because I'm telling you I see is such a high pattern even with our friends and stuff where there was a red flag a year ago and you ignored it something happened where either your lust was too so powerful it was making you blind I don't know but there are always like red flags and I think some red flags are less

Speaker 2 you know less severe than others but just still clock them you know what I'm saying yeah try to go back in time um because I will say I think there's a lot of things that even when we were young but we were so young I think people, like, we were so young that we were still growing up and learning things.

Speaker 2 So, I think we made a lot of mistakes. Yeah.
Of course. And I think we both had a lot of probably red flags.
We would consider red flags back then.

Speaker 5 Naturally, we were kids. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But I think at our age, if you know, you're dating,

Speaker 2 you know, over the age of 25 or even mid-20s, like, oh, man, we're all old.

Speaker 2 If the red flags are still there, if something, you know what I mean? Like, something's going on. Something's going on.
Just pay attention to it. Yeah.
Don't ignore it.

Speaker 5 So if anybody is out there that

Speaker 5 wrote these questions to us, please reach out on the K and Ty, the K and Ty Break It Down Instagram page. Shoot us a message.
I would love to know how things are going. If there is anything.

Speaker 2 Or if you want us to

Speaker 2 speak on anything, other details, you know, we will.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but please, definitely, if you hear this, like reach out.

Speaker 5 Because I would love to know, you know, kind of what's going on or an update, if things have changed, or, you know, so.

Speaker 2 I feel bad. I feel like I'm kind of concerned a little bit.
Yeah, it it is because I feel like how many more, how many more women specifically are sitting there at home feeling like this, dude?

Speaker 5 This is fucked up, and as women, come on, now we are all badass bitches. Stand up and use your fucking voice.
Like, I'm gonna scream it from the rooftop.

Speaker 2 I always

Speaker 5 with my girls, I'm gonna be like, Don't you ever

Speaker 5 you call shit out as you fucking see it, like, do not.

Speaker 2 Um, and I, I don't know, I always tell Noah, though, I so always flanks.

Speaker 2 I'm always like, listen, your body can grow organs, grow bones, grow cells, create human beings, and then deliver those human beings into the world and then keep them alive from your body.

Speaker 2 I'm like, there is no

Speaker 2 other powerful thing that a human can do. But a woman.
But a woman. So please understand that you are.

Speaker 5 Oh, believe me, she knows because she reminds me of that name.

Speaker 2 Yeah. No, I heard her.
We were at the beach or something like that. And she was like, and some, some boy, they were playing.
And he's like, boys are stronger than girls. And she's like, you're a liar.

Speaker 2 And he was like, no, I'm not. And she said, we grow bones.
We grow bodies and then deliver them. I guarantee you that I'm stronger than you.
And I'm just like,

Speaker 5 well, no, because, yeah, the other day, too, she said something about, she's like, mom, isn't it crazy that women, like, we create an organ? And she goes, and then we just get rid of it. Yep.

Speaker 5 And I'm like, I know. Yeah.
So believe me, she listens to everything we say. And she's very.

Speaker 2 I think that's why she always wants to talk to me. She's like, dad, oh, God, yeah.
She loves it.

Speaker 2 I break it down. I break it

Speaker 2 down for Nova. Yeah.
But hopefully she kind of, hopefully she like will, when Veda, because I think when Veda gets together,

Speaker 2 I'll say, Veda, go ask your older sister. And I have faith knowing that I taught Nova certain things that she will tell me.

Speaker 5 Yeah, because Veda's just starting to get the age. Where she's asking certain questions, just like how Nova did.

Speaker 5 They start getting older asking questions and you have to answer them to an age and appropriate level.

Speaker 2 Just the other day, Veda said, why don't boys have babies in their belly? I'm like, Oh, they don't have a uterus. Right.
She's like, A uterus? Right. I'm like, A uterus is the

Speaker 2 baby. That's where the baby grows.
And she, you tell it. And then she was over it, though.
So at that age, they kind of ask, but I'm not going to say, oh, but you know,

Speaker 2 boys don't have the right belly for it. I'm not saying I'm like, I'm like, boys don't have a uterus.

Speaker 5 Right. And then you describe.
And for, yes, the real, yeah, the real.

Speaker 2 And she said, what's a uterus? I said, it's pretty much a little home, a little, a little space

Speaker 2 that babies grow in. Right.
And that keeps them alive and safe. Yep.

Speaker 2 And then she was like, oh, and then she ran off.

Speaker 5 Kids are like that. That's like, what was it? Like, I think like a month ago, not even a month ago, a couple weeks ago, Nova asked me, like, we were in the kitchen.

Speaker 5 And she was like, mom, she's like, so you know, when you have babies, she's like, do boys stick their nuts into the vagina?

Speaker 5 And like, we're very open with our kids and we let them drive conversations. Like, Nova knows what sex is,

Speaker 5 but she really thought, like, she was like, don't they stick their balls in the vagina? And in her mind, she was like, that's where the sperm is. So that's what you would put up in there.

Speaker 5 And I said, no, I'm like, actually,

Speaker 5 I said, you know, you put the penis in the vagina. And she was like, what?

Speaker 2 And then her face was like, what the fuck? She's like, that's gross.

Speaker 5 I said, I know. I said, but it's because the balls hold the sperm, yes, but the penis shoots the sperm into the vagina.
And she's like, well, how do you get it up there?

Speaker 5 And I was like, well, you kind of got to do things to make it firm. And she was just like,

Speaker 2 ew.

Speaker 5 She's like, I'm never having sex. And I'm like, that's right, you know, goodness.

Speaker 2 No, yeah, I'm like, absolutely. And I think it's, it's funny because even when she says it, though, I'm like, listen, your thoughts, you may change.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I said, I know, I know it's really gross here right now, but it comes to a point where

Speaker 2 it might change. And that's also okay.

Speaker 5 Right. And people may hate on us, hate on us

Speaker 2 for us.

Speaker 5 But the thing is, it's like we have always, no, but not in front of them. They ask the questions.
Like when a few years ago, Nova just thought it was mating.

Speaker 5 And she was the one who was like, oh, it's mating. And me and Tyler were like, yes, that's what it is.
And it clicked for her for a while. A couple years.
You know,

Speaker 5 and we've always just let her drive the conversation. So, and we've always been honest.
Our children are taught from a very young age that it's a penis and a vagina. It's not a

Speaker 2 billy dally in a, in a, in a, in a,

Speaker 5 you know, or your vagay, Jay.

Speaker 5 Like, we make sure they use the scientific terms, all of that, because God forbid, anything were to happen, my kids would know and say, hey, Johnny stuck his penis in my vagina.

Speaker 2 Right, right, right.

Speaker 5 Or so-and-so touched my vagina. Like, you know, so I want them to be aware of it scientifically.
And our kids just have always drove the conversations.

Speaker 5 And I feel like, and I also do feel like if you're talking to your kids from a young age about sex and things like that, like, obviously, Nova was comfortable enough to come up to me and ask me, Do you shove balls at a vagina?

Speaker 2 And what, no, when you think about it, though, her thought process is pretty legit.

Speaker 5 Yeah, she must have a sperm.

Speaker 2 No, I know, of course. But when you think about it, like, oh, it makes sense.
A sperm's here, so we shove that in there. Right, because she said that.

Speaker 5 She even said that.

Speaker 5 And I think it's important because it just goes to show, like, if you're slowly having the conversation when they're little, then it just becomes comfortable.

Speaker 5 So that way, when she is 18 or 19 or 17 and she's feeling the urges to want to have sex, I'm confident she'll come and talk to me about it. And that's what matters.
It is.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
The safety. You need to feel safe to talk to somebody about it.

Speaker 2 It's a shame.

Speaker 5 So thanks, guys. For

Speaker 5 first of all, I want to say thank you to the people that were vulnerable enough to write to us and ask us questions. Thank you.

Speaker 5 I'm really sorry about what you're going through. I hope you have a support system you can lean on.

Speaker 5 And also,

Speaker 5 thanks for listening to this week's episode. Please go like, share, subscribe, rate, and review.
Kate and Ty break it down. And remember, you can listen to our podcast anywhere that you find podcasts.

Speaker 2 Spotify, Apple. Yep.
All the good stuff.

Speaker 5 And then also to make sure that

Speaker 5 we always drop our full video episodes on Patreon a few days after the audio drops. So go check out our Patreon page if you're a person that just likes to watch podcasts instead of listening.

Speaker 3 A lot of people do. I'm realizing.

Speaker 5 So we do have the Patreon also, and we'll be talking to you guys next week.

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