Our Furry Soulmates & Listener Confessions

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What's up, guys?

Welcome back to another episode of Kate and Ty Break It Down.

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Today in the Baltera house, well, this week in the Baltera household has been a very sad week.

It's been rough.

I know, and I don't want to cry.

Well, you can cry.

I know.

But

so our dog that we had, well, I had her.

She was my head.

But she definitely chose me.

Well, yeah, I mean, she was your shadow.

Yeah.

So she was 16 and a half years old.

So I got her

just a few months after we relinquished our rights to Carly.

So like she was just like my baby.

She recently just passed away three days ago and it's been rough.

It's okay, honey.

She was with me through

everything.

I mean, through all the ups and downs of life.

She literally died in my arms.

Like it, it's like,

it's like beautiful, but then also fucking traumatizing at the same time, if that makes sense.

And then it made me think today, I was like, us humans, like, why

the fuck do we do this to ourselves?

No, I don't know why we do this.

I don't know.

It's because we love the animals so much that we know, it's almost like we know that they're not going to be here forever.

So it makes the relationship even more.

Like you just, I don't know.

And I thought, and I, like, I knew she was getting old, but for some reason, I felt like she still had so much left in her.

Like, I know she was deaf and blind, but it's just like when you wake up at 7:30 in the morning, I don't expect to see my dog dying downstairs.

No, I know, but I also feel like

with how she was, like, it's, it, she lived, she died exactly how she was meant to, old age, uh, all the food she could have, spoiled, rotten, just like, I mean, she had the best life.

And I feel like

she was so, she had so much vitality before she passed that I think that's because, I mean she was taken care of she was so I mean she had a she was so I don't think you expected it because she was acting completely normal I mean yeah she's blind and death but she was old but her the way she was moving she wasn't limping wasn't gasping wasn't doing nothing you know nothing right she didn't have cans not like she was suffering nothing you know and so me and Ty like rushed her to

we were taking we went and like we're rushing to the vet but I think you know me and you both kind of knew like I wasn't going to the vet to expect him to save her I was more or less like just take her out of her misery like just put her down

If she would have survived the drive, yeah, that was the whole reason.

But then she just passed, she passed away in my arms in the car.

And like for her, that makes me feel so good because it's like,

what other way to go?

But besides what the one person that loves you, just, I don't know.

But it's also fucking hard because they can't get the image of you.

No, I know, but the human soulmate that you were to her, she didn't want to, she wouldn't have had an easy passing with in anyone else's arms.

Right, it's weird.

I felt like she waited for me to wake up.

I feel like she did.

It was crazy.

Because she was like, she was so fine, and then they saw her in the morning, and she was like, waiting.

I mean, you got to her right.

I mean, what we had, maybe 10 minutes, 15 minutes in the morning before she was gone.

Yeah.

I mean, think about the last 10, 15 minutes, she was smelling you, on you, your warmth, your scent, your everything.

And I was a black person.

Your voice, yeah.

I mean, I know she had, she was deaf and blind, but she could still smell.

She knew the feeling.

She knew the arms that were holding her.

It just, it sucks.

I think it's one of the things that kind of humans, like, we kind of sacrifice a little bit knowing for the animal because we know.

We know that we're, you know, our heartbreak is inevitable.

And we do it anyway.

Yeah, it's rough.

Did you think it was going to be this difficult?

Um, I had

thoughts because even when she would just hide in random places and I couldn't find her for hours, I'd freak out and cry.

But when she was because listen, guys, she was, she like, she was deaf and blind.

So there was a point.

I don't even know if we said this before, but she ran away from home in her blindness.

She like just like she

just like went down the hill of our yard and just didn't decide to go down the road and all that stuff.

So she was, I mean, and I couldn't find her and I was freaking out.

Yeah, and so I felt like

I'm laughing on it now, but

when you think about it, we're out there screaming for this deaf dog.

Did she even hear you?

And I'm yelling her name like an idiot.

Oh my God.

Anyway, we found her, though, eventually.

But yeah, that was.

And she did that to me like three times, three different times.

And I would cry and get scared, like thinking she's like gone forever.

Do you think that would have been easier?

I guess my question.

Like, okay, but if she went off blind, deaf, and got her or something.

Because there would be no, like,

I wouldn't know where she was.

So as hard as the imagery is and as hard as the experience was, try to find some gratitude in it.

I mean, I tried for her.

I hope that it gave her peace.

I think it did.

You know?

I mean, I know it did.

You can't deny it.

It just sucks because I love her and I want her to be around forever.

I know.

And I'm like, great.

Now we have to go through this five more fucking times.

You know, and that's what got me thinking today.

I was like, us humans, why do we set ourselves up for heartbreak?

You're setting yourself up for heartbreak.

You know what I mean?

Like, because we know, it's almost like that whole thing, like, we know that the journey is almost more important than the arrival.

Like, we know the arrival is inevitable and it's devastating, but we just, we, we love the journey.

Right, but I truly feel like, so we had had a Doberman years ago that passed, and we rescued,

I mean, years after he passed, and what, like four years after he passed, we rescued from a rescue, and his name is Remy, and he is half Doberman, half German Shepherd.

And I swear to God, I'm like,

I feel like Caesar is a piece of him, and I feel like I personally think that animals reincarnate and come back and they try to find their like soul person.

Their soul tribe.

Yeah.

And so I'm just like praying that she comes back to me.

Like I was like talking in my car.

Oh, so stupid.

It's not stupid, honey.

You're grieving.

You know, this is part of it.

I was like asking her for signs and shit.

I don't think that's stupid at all.

And then, but it's weird because that day that I was talking in my car,

I got home.

And that's when I opened that package.

And that's the thing that Brittany sent us of that chihuahua thing.

And I was like, I think that maybe that was a sign from her.

Isn't that wild?

Yeah.

Random package we got of a beautiful stained glass thing with a little chihuahua on it.

And it was from one of our really, really good friends.

Yeah.

Unexpected.

Like, literally, she must have did that right when she saw your picture.

She must have, because it came the next day.

It like literally came right away.

And I think it's even harder because it's like, I think it's hard with any animal that you lose, but just the

bond that me and her had and all the shit I was going through when I got her.

Like, she was our baby.

Like, I remember training, you know you training her and when we lived in our in our apartment and she was so tiny and she would just like sit and lay down and roll over and shake and like we were teaching her all the things and and she was like that that comfort of you know when we were missing carly or when you know like

I mean, that bitch wouldn't, she went on hours of rides with me in my car.

And like, you know what I mean?

She would attack semi-car semis as they would drive by me.

And like, you know, she, and that girl had the best balance ever in a car.

I remember she would stand in my middle, like the center council, and she would stand there.

And like, I would turn, drive everything.

And she, I was like, this dog's got the best balance ever.

But yeah, I miss her.

It's not fair.

It makes me sad.

I wish dogs could live forever.

I know, me too.

Because honestly, when Caesar died, I mean, that was, I just didn't expect it.

And I didn't feel like.

I think it was the first time I really got it.

Cause I'll be honest, before having my own dog, like I, like, we had a dog, but it wasn't my dog.

It was Amber, my sister's dog growing up.

It wasn't like, you know what I mean?

I didn't connect any, whatever.

But Caesar was my dog, and that's, you know what I mean?

It was like,

and then once he died, I was like, oh, shit.

Now I really get these people who are like,

just like, you know, I used to think before that, though, I'd be like, oh, God, people are so ridiculous with their

freaking dogs and their animals and how they're, like, how they treat them and buy in the photo shoots and birthday cakes.

I mean, people are fucking.

I don't really understand the photo shoots and shit, but I will spoil the shit out of my dog.

But after Caesar died, I was like, whoa.

Like, I just, because it was so unexpected, I just thought I'd have him for at least four more years, you know?

So when he was young, too, and DCM took him away, which is so unfair.

Yeah.

He was the best.

Yeah.

And like today, I just kind of like, I don't know, it's day three.

I just felt like

down.

Yeah.

You know, just like, I'm like, oh my God, how could a dog's death make me have a little bit of depression?

Like, I'm not going to be able to do it.

It's more than a dog.

It's like I said,

it's like a soul tribe member.

It's more than a dog, in my opinion.

It's more than a dog.

I could be going to the bathroom taking a pee, and Ty is like, dude, she's always sitting outside the door waiting for you.

No, and it's funny because you have a very distinct walk.

Yeah.

And it's a shuffle.

And so.

Thanks, grandma.

So anyway, you shuffle.

And then, like, throughout our life living together in all the different houses, we always had a hard floor.

And so I just, in my head, all I hear is shuffle, shuffle,

like her little, like, four little.

Yeah, she'd follow me everywhere.

Like a little shadow.

But

I consider myself like someone who is,

I would say, closer in tap with like the spiritual world in a sense.

Call me crazy, all you people that you want to, but I swear there's just been things, the things that have happened in my life.

And I remember when my mom's dog, who looked identical to Caddy, but was just a fucking dick, I remember when he died.

And I remember like seeing, I swear, like i would see shadows like little shadows if and i knew it was him or just like i would hear like feet you know or weird things

and i just knew it was him and i haven't heard that yet from her or maybe i've just been too distraught to notice it or whatever but but while you're waiting for that or something i'm like show me something Babe, you literally said, show me a sign, Caddy, in the car and came home and do a stained glass chihuahua thing decoration for the window.

I mean, I can't really...

What other sign is that?

And then I'm just waiting for that.

That's divine intervention right there.

When I get her ashes, I know I'm going to be a fucking wreck.

Because I remember when Caesar died.

Just picking him up in the, yeah.

Yeah.

And like that, and that was like a week or two later.

So it's like we were already in the grieving process.

You know, you're at that point where you don't have any more tears left.

And then I went and picked up his ashes and I put him in the seat.

And it was the same seat that I drove him to the hospital.

And then I just started sob.

Like, it's just, oh, I hate it.

I'm like, why the fuck?

I know.

But it's a good question to ask as human beings.

Why do we do this?

Yeah, I don't know why.

Why did you do it?

Because she was so cute

and I loved her.

That's what I mean.

And then we pulled in the driveway.

We got Nova's dog, Ace.

And if anybody could see him,

he's the derpiest

mutt breed.

Like, he's got every breed possible in it.

One ear stick straight to the side.

One bend.

It's just, he's googly-eyed.

Googly-eyed.

He's just a big old round.

round, he's a kind of like a big cho-dog.

It's just, he's just a, he's that's full of anxiety.

Yeah.

And we pull in the driveway after dropping Caddy off of the vet because we're getting our cream made.

And here he comes running down the driveway.

Ty, he's like, you know, we're stuck with this dude for 18 more years.

And I couldn't help but laugh because we were both running.

I was like, crying, dude.

I had to break the tension of tears.

I was like, dude, and then it's the first thing that came to my head.

I was like, God, this idiot.

Miss Caddy.

I'm like, no, I got this idiot stuck with me.

So I don't know about any of your guys' households, but in my household, I know a few people here who are literally obsessed with cereal.

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Nova and Tyler.

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Yes, that's been hard.

And the kids have, I feel like the kids have taken it very well.

Yeah, they, I, no, listen, I'm gonna, I'm a little like, hey, will you be a little more sad?

Right?

I feel like, I think, I'm like, because that first one Vada came on the stairs and really wanted to say goodbye to her.

That hit me.

Yeah.

I was holding together pretty good, but then seeing Vada, and then Vada is kind of emotionless and she's like, okay, bye, Kitty.

And then I don't know.

You never really clicked for her.

I know.

and then the kids are like, Not like, whatever, man.

I'm like, dang, it's because they don't know.

And I think they were more worried about me.

I mean, one of the kids, they don't ever see me really cry.

I know, that's why you told Raya was looking like she was in a different world.

She's like, what is wrong with this woman?

That's my mother.

You know, she put her hand on your face.

On your face.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And all I'd say was like, mom's sad.

She's like, you're sad.

I know.

And she just wants to be like, it's okay.

But it's okay.

It's okay for the kids to see you sad.

Yeah.

I think it's healthy.

No, it is, but it's personally.

yeah, because that was the first time Rise ever seen me like I know her eyes were she kept looking back and forth at me like, Dad, you see this, dad, you see this, dad, I know, you're gonna do something about this.

Like, I was like, it was like, hug your wife, and you're like, I am,

I'm hugging her.

The kids are so focused on comforting you in any way they can, they're like, dad, hug her, hold her, someone.

And I feel like we've instilled it in Noble, which is a good thing, where she's always, you know, she says, she's like, you know, mom, she's in a better place and she's always going to be with you.

But I feel like we've installed that and instilled that in her.

Oh, yeah.

But then also, I'm like, but it's still okay to feel your feelings, kid.

I know, but I think Nova's just, she's like, she's just naturally trying to think of the positive things to make you not sad anymore.

Right.

Like, their goal isn't like to really hold space for you because they're too young to really get it.

They just know, oh, my God, mom's sad.

How do I help make this better?

Yeah, so, and I feel like a lot of people can relate to that.

It's just like, they're like your babies.

I mean, and she was,

she was definitely.

I mean, listen, we got that dog.

We emptied all the bank account, all the money we had.

I know, I'll never gathered it all with change.

Yep.

We pulled every dime out of my bank account.

Milk crates as a couch, and we got, we spent all that money on a dog.

Yeah, she cost me like, she cost me like $600.

And we did it because she looked exactly like Spike.

She did.

But, you know, it's funny.

He's like, she was way nicer than Spike.

She never bit a single person.

So much nicer.

So much nicer.

My mom's dog was such an asshole.

Dude, he was.

But I loved him.

He was nice to me.

He was nice to me.

Yeah, after he tried to bite you for the first time.

Yeah, it's all right, though.

We gained respect.

Maybe that was it.

That was a die.

Hey, man, I just, you know, I just reacted.

So, yeah, so that's been a couple rough days for sure.

Lots of tears.

And it's like, how do you move forward?

You know, I guess you just do.

Life just keeps moving.

Every day, all of a sudden the sun still rises.

So we have that, but and then in a couple days, we're having Raya's fourth birthday party.

she's turning four

i think we listen though when we woke up that morning and caddy when caddy passed yeah we had orientation by the way for noah's middle school so like i don't think you're getting full context as like listeners like this morning this day was like

we get up

like Nova has to be ready to go to this orientation for her school, get her school picture taken.

It's while we're in the middle of rushing to hospitals, back like to a vet, back forth.

It was a lot.

Yeah, it really was.

It was a lot.

It was like,

it was overwhelming, to be honest.

I do want to say that I'm definitely thankful for the veterinarian place that is out here, though, because I'm friends with the receptionist that works there.

And I just texted her in the morning, and I was like, my daughter, she's literally dying.

And I'm rushing to your guys' place.

And I know you're not open yet.

And she was like, I'm going to send a mass text out.

She's like, we have a receptionist there, but obviously she can't do anything.

And so we show up there.

I go inside and the receptionist is like, you know, the vet tech and the vets don't come in until like 9.45, 10.

And it's like 9.

No, it was like 8.45.

Yeah, it was like 8.45.

And then so I was like, okay, I guess we're just going to wait with her while she's like dead in my arms.

And all of a sudden, somebody's at my window and it was one of the vet techs and she was still in her normal clothes, everything.

She rushed there.

It was so sweet.

And she was just like, you know, and I'm like i think she's already gone and she's like she is but then she took us in the building and we filled out all the stuff and for the cremation and stuff and she was like she she said to me she goes you know i've been working for 10 years

and i just want to tell you that you guys are amazing pet owners she's like a lot of a lot of people that i see do not do what you guys do for your animals she goes and i mean it she's like you guys are you love your pets and you're amazing and you take care of them and i and so i i told her and i I was like, Thank you.

Like, that meant a lot to me.

It did.

It was, I, she was so genuine when she said that, too.

Like, I was like, listen,

I mean, we're both like, can't speak because we're both crying, but right, I was listening very closely to what she was saying.

I was like, wow.

And she was so sweet.

And then she was like, she even said, she goes, you know, I lost my 17-year-old little dog today, a year ago.

And I was like, wow, that's sad and crazy.

And so then we fill out, do all the cremation stuff, pay pay for it, and then we drive home.

And we literally have like 10 minutes before we have to get this.

It's like, all right, put on a brave face and go to the school.

Thousands, hundreds of people just coming in and out.

Orientate.

You know how all parents know the orientation thing for going into a brand new school.

Where's your locker?

Oh my God.

Kids dressing out.

She can't get the locker calm.

I feel like our faces probably look still red.

Our eyes are still.

I was still crying holding in the parking lot.

It's like, I don't know, as a parent, you know, like when you have to go do something, or even as an adult, you just have to go do something.

Even if you've been crying in the car, you're just like, ah, you try so hard to just like,

like, power through this crazy, overwhelming situation.

Yeah, and it was just, it was a crazy, crazy morning.

And it's weird, too, because I set my alarm for

like 7.30 and it didn't go off.

Well, that's weird.

But I still woke up.

I woke up.

And when do I ever, I don't know.

No, never ever wake up.

Never.

Right.

Which that is weird.

Like, my alarm didn't go off.

And I'm like, that's weird.

Like, why didn't my alarm go off?

And I remember waking you up and saying, my alarm didn't go off.

I remember you saying that.

I'm like, well, that's why you up then if the alarm didn't go off.

Yeah, because it was a surprise.

And it was just a weird, I don't think, I don't believe in coincidences.

I believe she wanted to be there with me.

And I feel like she waited for me.

And

because it was only like 10, yeah, like 10 minutes after I held her.

Yeah.

She passed.

And that's weird.

You're right.

The alarm didn't go off.

No.

Someone just woke me up.

You never wake up unless something wakes you up.

Yeah.

Like, it is rare that anything that you wake up by yourself.

Right.

It's either an alarm or a kid or whatever.

Yeah.

It was just, it's weird.

I, yeah, I didn't have it set.

I had, it didn't go off or anything.

So I don't know.

So

it just makes me think of like, all right, now we have.

you know, this heartbreak to go through again with Remy and Ace and Luna and Jasper and Shadow and

Mochi and Lemon.

We have so many animals.

I just know, I think the thing thing about, I just know that because since, you know, shadows my cat, like, I feel like cats are different.

I don't know.

Cats, I mean, she's going to go out.

She's an outside indoor cat or, you know, indoor, outdoor cat.

So I just feel like, I know one day she's just not going to come back.

Yeah, but don't you think that'd be harder?

Like you said.

Because I feel like with this one, it's like, yeah, I have the imagery and screen.

Because I got to say goodbye.

No, I know.

But dogs and cats, I guess, are different because cats, I know cats would rather enjoy like solitude and dying by themselves.

Do you know what I'm saying?

A lot of cats.

Where dogs are like in the woods lost, like, oh, you know what I mean?

They are very humanly dependent, like huge.

And so I have a little piece.

I think I'd have a little piece knowing the cat just went off and hunted its last, whatever it did.

You know what I mean?

But I know one day Shadow is not going to come back.

Yeah, and I feel like that would be harder.

And that one week at the October, oh my God.

I was losing it.

Right.

I felt like a psycho.

I was waking up at 4:30 in the morning, going out there in my robe in the middle of winter and making noise.

T-T-T-T-T.

Shaking treats and just

shadow and be like literally dude i was like oh and you guys want to know what's funny about this whole cat shadow is i bought i bought her got her when she was a kitten tyler and her did not have a start off of it in a very good way i didn't want the cat i was not a cat person no really i mean i so she was a kitten and she like i don't know she had her for like three or four days maybe even longer but she was probably a week it was probably a week okay yeah but she i don't know if anybody's had this happen, but she like ran up to Ty and jumped on his leg, claws and all.

She know, okay, I want to, I want you to think of a bear going up a tree,

claw, claw, claw.

I mean, like, they leap and claw, claw, claw with

all the way up the tree.

Okay, the tree is my thigh and my calf, okay?

That is what happened.

Claw, claw, claw, claw, out of nowhere.

No cats because the zoomies, they're all nuts.

This thing, I, guys, the pain.

I'm telling you right now, I don't know if everyone's, I mean, if you've just been climbed aggressively by a kitten claw thing coming up your leg, anyway, it hurts so bad that I naturally just like, you grab, you know, I just grabbed, ah, and I just kind of grabbed the cat and just like got it off me, which was a horrible,

stupidest idea because when I grabbed

Shadow and pulled her off, because it was my natural reaction, she dug in, dude.

I had the worst, I was dripping blood, blood, it was bad, it was horrible.

And we were literally walking out the door to go to the airport.

Worst time ever.

And so then after that, Tyler's like, oh, this cat.

This cat.

And let me tell you right now, now, it is his second pussy.

She put the spell on me.

Yeah, and she's the black, she's like a black cat, like long hair, medium, long-haired, and she's super clean.

And this bitch is crazy.

Like, she has, and she brings gifts to Ty.

Like, all of a sudden, there will be like birds, mice She brought a blue jay one time this bitch tried running in the house with a full-grown squirrel

But like a full-grown squirrel babe you you were there.

I had to save a bunny.

Yes.

How can a cat kill a bunny that's the same size as the cat?

Yeah, she's fucking crazy.

Dude, she has dude It's bad.

She's killed multiple bunnies, and that's sad.

I know.

I tried saving the bunny.

I know you saved the one, but then I saved the one bunny but then i've tried to like get some from her before but she's all fucking she's like cracked out

her eyes get all black and wide and she's like and she runs me i think she knows you're trying to get it she makes weird noise i'm like dude don't be killing fucking bunnies and then the one time she left a freaking blue jay on our front on the in front of the door i was like dude and she'll look at me in the morning meow And I'm like, I know you're giving me, I know you're telling me that I'm the worst hunter ever.

And that you're being like, hey, dumbass.

Since you're not feeding me the wet food I like, I brought you a bird.

Right.

You don't got to exchange a blue J for the wet food.

I'll just give it to you.

Chill out, Shadow.

And like, we've tried everything.

I've put like giant bells on her and shit.

She has the biggest bell you can get for.

It's so loud.

You can hear her in the field.

I can hear her down a couple yards away.

Like she's running through fields to come home.

I go, Yep.

And she can hear her.

But the fact that she catches like rabbits and full grown squirrels.

I'm like, how the hell is this even?

And she doesn't even have front claws.

I wouldn't be surprised.

Yeah, and I wouldn't be surprised.

This bitch one day is going to bring up a fucking bald eagle.

You know what I mean?

Or a fucking chicken hawk.

No, it is crazy.

Yeah, she's nuts.

But yeah, she's definitely

like, well, she, I don't know.

She just picked me.

She just kept coming to me.

I said, listen, you clawed me.

I threw you.

I hate you.

Why do you keep coming up here and loving me?

And eventually I just gave in because her persistence paid off.

And I'm like, you know what?

And it's funny because, like, she knows.

I swear she knows like when you come home and stuff.

Because then here she'll come.

And then literally this bitch bitch will just sit on the counter.

And she's like the only cat that gets on the counter.

No matter how many times we've tried it.

I tried some guys.

I tried everything.

I've sprayed stuff.

I've dude.

Tin foil.

Can't get this cat off the counter.

Well, and she will just sit there and meow at him, meow,

meow, and just stare at him.

And I'm like, dude, your bitch is calling you.

Like, can you fucking answer?

So she shuts up.

She's literally obsessed.

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So, with all the heartbreak and everything that happened,

you know, we do have

Raya's turning four.

We're having her party early, but she has her fourth birthday this weekend.

I know.

And so, that'll that's something to, you know, that I'm looking forward to.

And she is like literally obsessed right now with Disney's little mermaid.

Ariel, everything, dude, literally everything.

She loves Ariel.

So, I'm super excited because I got her these cookies made, Ariel cookies, and I'm having her an Ariel cake made.

made.

And I bought like jellyfish to hang outside and a bunch of aerial balloons.

And we don't go too crazy, honestly.

I mean, we like, I do the themes, balloons, and stuff.

I don't have like a decorator.

No, I do it all myself.

We do it ourselves.

This is the first year I've ever bought decorated cookies in a fucking cake, you know?

Exactly.

But yeah, she's literally obsessed with Ariel.

So, but it's going to be fun.

You know, Ty's mom's going to come here and my mom's going to be here.

And we have friends and family.

And

so, that's something to look forward to.

I just hope the fucking rain just gets over with in the morning.

I'm like, Nova starts school, school's back in session, it is

oh man,

and it's weird because they start

Veda and Nova start the end of August, and then Raya's preschool is smart, they don't start until after Labor Day.

I'm like, that's smart because the big kids go to school for like three days, stupid, I hate it, and then they have a four-day weekend, and I'm like, that's a fucking tease.

Dumb, I'm just getting like, that's a tease,

you know, Like, what the fuck?

I don't, I'm like, why?

Oh, but yeah, and then it's back to the old grind.

Yeah, but listen, this is totally different.

This is our lives are changing this year.

Do you understand that?

Yeah.

We'll have no more babies at home.

Our baby is going to be at school for five days a week.

Bye-bye.

Yeah.

And I, and I wonder.

And I bet you a lot of parents can relate to that.

Like, when you have your last baby, like, the

new firsts are your lasts.

it's gut wrenching yeah so it's just different right like you gut wrenching well you said it gives you like anxiety yes i've never and i and i so it's a weird anxiety where it's like almost like a it feels well it feels like a panic a little bit like like it's the last time i'm gonna see him oh my god they're gone like crazy five six hours a day we're laying a bed for me i'm like what's going i i don't know it's i don't know we're laying a bed at teller's like do you ever think about like how many times you held her today i know and i'm like no, I haven't.

Where are you guys?

I can't be the only one out there that feels.

I like, I'll sense, and I've done it with all the kids, but especially Raya, where I'll like.

Because it's the last.

Because I know they're getting these certain milestone ages where I'm like, oh my God.

Like, all right, I picked her up this morning, did that.

I'll count how many times I actually picked my kids up and held them.

Because I, I, I think a lot of parents can relate to that, though.

Like, the last baby, like I said, all of their firsts are your lasts, you know, like, and all the kids are getting older.

I mean, Nova's,

you know, she's gonna, she's a preteen.

She's no, today you should have taught us today when we were shopping at Target.

What?

Which, dude, was so funny because, you know, they have like, it's kind of like a big dressing room.

Yeah.

And it's all like, there's no men and women, it's just like all big one.

And so I go in there with her, obviously, and she's, I was like, I'll wait out here.

You go in the thing and whatever, and change.

And she's just so funny.

She's just talking.

And then other people are coming in.

Like, other ladies are coming in in the other rooms.

And I'm standing over to the farthest one away, whatever.

And I'm like, all right, let me know if you need help with the dusting the the pants and whatever.

And she's like, dad, okay, like, I like this.

I need your opinion, though.

And you need to be honest with me.

And I'm like, I will always be honest with you.

I'll tell you.

And she's like, these pants are so cool, blah, blah.

And then we were just talking about all this random stuff about like, you know, her trying on these clothes and starting middle school, whatever.

And then I, as I'm like, all right, fine.

You got your keep pile that you're keeping the clothes you like.

Cool, you like that.

Don't like that.

Put it in the other pile.

And then I walk out and one of the ladies was like, I had to say, she's like, that was so cute.

She's like, your guys' conversation.

She's like, you're such a good dad.

It's so awesome.

And I was like, holy shit.

I was like, really, dude?

I was like, we were just talking.

Like, you know, she was just, and then I was like, you know, because she's like,

well, I want your opinion.

I said, yeah, but your opinion matters, not mine.

And like, your matters more than I.

I was like, do you like it?

I said, I'm not answering you unless you tell me if you like it or not first.

That was like my deal.

I was like, listen, like, well, right.

Because

I can't see through the door.

Like, you have to open the door and reveal what you put on.

So I'm like, do you like it?

right yeah i do open the you know what i mean i don't know and i was so i'd still be honest with her but i wanted to give her like that i'm not my opinion doesn't matter yours does because you're in the clothes right and i remember saying i was like well i'm not wearing these clothes right i'm not starting middle school so it's not my opinion doesn't really matter as long as you like it right as long as you like them and then the lady was just walking i have to tell you she's like i just that was so adorable listening you guys conversation so you're such a good dad i was like wow uh that's nice i know a random stranger i was like that's what do you think her style is like nobody's well she's funny because she's like she likes to flare jeans.

That's my girl.

And then I tried, and then I was like, all right, we'll try this because she picked out these really baggy, like, I'm talking, like, almost Janko shit.

Oh, okay.

I'm like, this is, these are cool.

Okay.

But whatever.

I was like, she put those on, liked those.

And then, guess what?

There was a champion.

She bought a champion hoodie and champion sweatpants.

Okay.

Which I was like, wow, because my kid doesn't, she, no, no, is not into that shit.

She bought that and she loved that they had snaps on the you remember the old Dina snaps.

Oh, yeah,

out track pants with the snaps.

Oh, hell no.

And I was like, yo, those got snaps.

And she's like, why are you so obsessed with the snaps?

I was like, I don't know.

I was like, I'm pumped up right now.

I was like, dude, I said, your sweatpants have snaps.

Did she try that set-on?

Yes.

And she's like, she was obsessed with it.

Really?

She's like, they didn't want to take the champion hoodie off.

She had matches everything, Dad.

I said, I told you, you get one.

I said, you get one staple piece.

This is the conversation we're having while the other people are walking in and out of the dressing rooms.

And I'm like, listen, you get one staple piece, right?

You get the hoodie.

You get the couple pairs of shirts, shirts, you know, shirts that go all different gene type, what pants, the way together, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

And oh my God, dude, it was just, it was funny.

Her styles changed a little.

I can see it a little bit.

I love that she loves the flared.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

Because then she put on a pair of like normal, straight-legged.

She's like, all right, I'm going to open them.

I don't know.

I said, so anytime she said, I don't know, I don't know if I like this, I said, do you want another opinion or not?

Or if you're guaranteed you don't like it, toss it.

Don't even show me.

Right.

And she's like, all right, this one I want your opinion on.

So I was like, you just let me know.

And then she opened the door and the way she was standing in the straight-legged jeans, I said, nah, I was like, I don't know.

I thought it was a, you know, they look good on you.

Do you like those?

No, I mean, you know, I say

her face is like, ugh.

And so her shoulders are like,

like, she purposely makes herself look like, uh, and I'm like, listen.

How did she not find any shirts?

Is what I want to know.

Babe, we looked at so many shirts.

I can't tell you how many shirts we looked at.

I went, I took her to Buckle, JC Penny, took her to Tar.

Take her to Hot Topic.

Took her to Hot Topic.

Can't fit in any of the extra small.

Listen, that was a a mistake, by the way.

Why she loved Hot Topic?

I went to Hot Topic.

Did she love it?

She was tripping out.

She was looking at all of a sudden.

It's like, oh my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

She loved Hot Topic, didn't she?

And she's like, I want that.

I said, you can't.

This is nothing in your size here.

And she was just pissed.

You could see in her face raging.

Oh, no.

Why?

Because what kind of shirts did she like that they're like, no, they're like some comic, but one, some like, I don't know.

There was some like

almost like a punk hello kitty looking.

You know, the graphite used to have?

Surprised she's even looking at graffitis because

I show her a graphite.

She's like, no.

No, she wants specific graphics on her.

Okay.

And I was tempted, but I didn't do it.

What?

Because she can't fit in hot topic shirts.

I'm not even going to try Spencer.

I want her to go with Spencer's, but the t-shirt section's right there.

You know what I mean?

Well, yeah, and all the nasty stuff's in the back.

True, true.

But still, she can't fit in the extra.

I said, do you have an extra, extra small?

And the lady's like, we don't have kids' clothes here.

And I'm like, all right, lady.

I didn't ask if you had kids.

Right.

I said, do you have extra, extra small?

And what if the kid wants the freaking emo hello kitty?

Like, what?

No, no, I think, but, and so I was like, um, I saw an extra small, and I'm like, I held it up.

I said, this is kind of big.

I said, you, unless you want that baggy look, you know.

Right.

And I kept thinking the lady kind of said it like almost like you should have your kid in here, almost in a way.

And that's what it felt like.

I was like, listen, man, I didn't ask you if you had kids' clothes.

I asked you if you had extra, extra small clothes.

Damn, I knew she would look at the top.

Oh, she was pointing at every belt,

the dang leg warmers.

I want these.

I was like, Nova, I got you leg warmers last year and you wore them twice.

Yeah, yeah, no.

Anyway, yeah, she was taking her shopping today was

interesting.

And Veda's still all like, I want pinks and purples and unicorn.

She's our girly girl.

Yeah.

Girly, girly girl.

Poor Raya's just her

co-pilot.

Exactly.

She says, Pink is cool.

She's like, pink is cool.

She's literally her parent.

Yeah.

Poor freaking Raya, man.

Tell you what, though, Those two are going to be super close.

I don't know.

That was just so nice to get a random compliment from a stranger.

Well, and I think it's nice that you and her got to just go and spend the day together.

And like you guys went and saw a movie and, you know, had dinner and stuff.

Like, that's.

It's a Nova Day.

Yes.

That's super nice.

She's funny.

So I did get some juicy secrets.

Oh, I knew we were going to have secrets.

Yeah, I figured a turn of events.

This episode's kind of sad.

I know.

Sorry, guys.

I know.

And honestly, if I'm being completely honest, like, I was just so emotional the past few days.

Like, I did not want to record today, but I'm glad that I did just because it's like brings you guys into reality of our lives.

Like, you know, like this shit sucks, and it's sad.

But that's kind of why we started this thing.

Just come in.

This is what we're inviting all everyone in.

And it feels better to talk about it.

Doesn't it?

Yeah, I think so.

Oh,

what?

Which one?

This is a good one.

What is it?

I had a guy beg me to poop on him.

Sickened by it, I made a poop bag and hid it under a spare tire in his car

and never spoke again.

According to mutual friends, it took him a week to find it.

What, what, what, what, what, what, what the fuck?

Shit in a bag.

Yo, yo, yo, yo.

And hid it under his spare tire?

No, no, no.

No.

You might as well just shit on him.

No.

I.

I ain't even.

No.

No.

Anyone fucking with shit?

Remember that TikTok video?

Dude.

Where she took a bunch of like mirror lacs and ate a bunch of like

Colombian food or whatever, or no, Ethiopian food.

And then she walked out there with like a fucking $1,000 and she had a shit chair in the room with a plastic bag underneath it.

And she's like, leave.

She's like, did the deed.

No, when I, when I, this is the stuff that makes you question our species.

Our species as human beings, like, we have evolved, right?

I mean, obviously from primates, but this is where we, this is where we have not, we have not you know we haven't mutated out of this wackety dackety shit you understand no i guess some people shit i'm not gonna shit

shit in anywhere by me you

listen i don't know that is

that and yeah honestly that girl whoa whoa

pump the brakes yeah it's had i had you did not lady have to shit in a bag but you did it anyway listen if a guy tells you to shit on him, to shit in a bag.

No, he didn't ask her to shit in the bag.

But she knew he liked all the shit.

No, but what she says is that

she said, I had a guy beg me to poop on him.

Sickened by it.

I made a poop bag and I hid it under his spare tire.

Listen, you say grossed out by that, so grossed out.

I actually shit.

Listen, that's an oxymoron.

You thought it was so nasty.

And you were so grossed out by it.

She hid it in his car to be honest.

That you actually did something pretty nasty yourself and shit in the bag and put it in some guy's car.

Under a spare diet.

You could have just said, You're disgusting, and I will not oblige.

Well, that's like, um, that's like some people like to be peed on and like peeped on.

No, I listen, like I said, these are the moments that made me question our species, our brains.

You wouldn't let me pee on you?

I'm going to keep all bodily fluids away from me that don't involve reproduction.

You understand?

Ooh.

Oh, no.

I get scared.

Listen, you literally.

That's crazy.

Like this one.

I slept with a former coworker, and now we have a full-on fling, even though I'm engaged.

Oh, so you a cheater?

That's messed up.

You should probably break off the engagement.

I think you should break off the engagement.

Because obviously you like this guy.

Tell the other person you're engaged to.

Let them grieve.

Let them be heartbroken.

You owe it to them.

You also owe it to yourself.

Engage in the fling.

Okay?

You obviously weren't happy before.

You wouldn't be doing the fling.

So you know what?

Break his heart like the asshole you are and pursue your promiscuous, uncontrollable fucking temptations that you,

you know, fell prey to.

Yeah, I don't believe in cheating whatsoever.

Like, if you're not happy, don't break it off.

So anyway, no offense to you, person, or whatever,

but your morality is weird.

And you should actually, you know what?

Break it off, break his heart, whatever you gotta do, tell the fling.

I mean, explore the flame.

Maybe it's your saltmate, who fucking knows?

But I still think you should do some self-reflection because that's crazy.

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Jesus.

I still can't believe that girl pooped in a bag.

I'm not.

Motherfuckers, man.

This is kind of sad, though.

Like, for a birth mom, it's kind of sad.

It's like, I know someone who adopted twins.

Their birth mom told her whole family they died.

Oh, my God.

Told her whole biological family.

Yeah, that her babies died, but she placed them for an option.

Like, that's sad.

Obviously, she didn't feel like she could be supported.

Oh.

And, like, you know, is wanting to keep them a secret?

Somebody said, I pick my nose and eat my boogers.

No,

you are disgusting.

You are the, you are the bottom of the abysmal disgust.

Oh, my God.

Listen, that shit gets me.

I can hang.

I have a, I have a pretty strong stomach, but I cannot stand.

I can't do snot.

I can't do any of Loogies.

Oh, God, even talk about it, man.

No, no, no, no.

Don't, is that an adult?

That's an adult, too.

Yeah.

Yep.

I pick my nose and eat my boogers.

Guess what?

I don't trust you as an adult.

Have you heard that?

You eat a booger?

When I was a kid.

You know what I mean?

But

yeah, I don't trust you as an adult.

At this point, it is weird.

Blame adults like, sometimes I eat my boogers.

I'm an adult.

And I'm like, yeah, guess what?

You're You're twisted up in the head to be eating your own motherfucking boogers.

I don't trust anything about you.

I think you are completely insane.

Something's wrong with your brain.

This is crazy.

So some woman said, I'm getting divorced after being together for 35 years.

Since we were 16, you guys gave me the strength.

Whoa, okay, whoa.

Wow, whoa.

That's intense.

I don't know how to take that.

All I can think about is the other episodes when we were talking about like

how you should be treated.

I'm getting divorced after being together for 35 years

since we were 16.

Holy shit.

You guys gave me the strength.

So 16.

Oh, wow.

Well, I honestly hope it's the right thing for both of you guys.

Like, I hope.

I hope so, too.

Like, I mean, obviously, it's the right thing, or else you wouldn't be doing it.

But

whoever that person is, like, and you always say anonymous, but maybe keep us updated.

I would love to hear like where you're at.

five months down the line.

Or maybe the only thing I can think of is like just the episodes we talked about.

Like if if they're you know don't be staying together for the kid like we've talked a lot about relationship stuff and how you should be treated you know well how we feel i mean listen guys how we feel this is just our yeah this is our opinion and i actually just talked to my mom about this the other day but because she brought up the whole asking permission thing and i even said like and she's you know i said yeah but what works for other people don't work for other people so when we talk about like what our beliefs or opinions are that's literally what they are only because our experience so i mean um and what we would tolerate and what we wouldn't yeah i mean it doesn't mean other people are you know wrong for tolerating other things.

It's just more or less like, well, hope that works for you, you know.

And this one is fucking, I saw this one earlier when I first made the post about sharing like people's secrets.

And I was like, this motherfucker be going to hell.

Oh, no.

For sure.

If hell exists, his ass is going to be there.

Burning.

For sure.

It said, I had an affair with a married pastor.

I was an intern, and you know the rest.

It blew up.

It blew up.

So they must have found, people must have found out or or something but you be

god's homie you can't be doing that because you're contributing god's homie you did not because because you are contributing to this

listen i'll be okay with the pastor well listen i think there's more infidelity and weird creepy shit going on in that kind of environment than is reported on because for sure literally i just shared an article the other that just yeah i saw you see and and it's like what was the other one 2,000 children from 1960 to 1999 or something from the Catholic clergy or whatever the hell it was.

Yeah, were raped people.

Yeah, so it's like, and all I said was, um, I thought we were supposed to have our kids be afraid of trans people and drag and drag queens.

Exactly.

But yet, this youth pastor just got charged

with six counts of raping kids.

So

listen, when you're working under

a hierarchical kind of system like organized religion or some kind of like when you're working in a restricted,

what do you call it?

I guess I can't call it a cult, but

because not all religions are a cult, but you know what I mean.

Just you tend to almost suppress

things, and then I feel like that contributes to you being a freaking weirdo.

You know what I mean?

Certain ways.

Yeah, because you're not, I don't know, like you're, you're, you're living under this like umbrella of like shame and fear and whatever.

And so, yeah.

Yeah, that's crazy.

I couldn't imagine boinking a pastor.

Well, I'd be like, you better, you better.

Hallelujah.

I'm really going to heaven now.

You about to take it in.

There we go.

But I will say,

you know, everyone's a quote-unquote sinner, if whatever your definition of sin is.

So, I mean, he's a sinner, and I'm pretty sure he asks for forgiveness.

Right.

Right.

But I can imagine that church and that community was eating it up when it came out.

Because believe me, they like drama.

I knew it.

I knew it.

Yep.

When they took a picture, his hand was below her waist, her rib cake.

Just watch young Sheldon.

You'll see all the drama, Christian drama.

That show wrecked my ass, man.

Oh, that ending.

I'm not going to ruin it for anybody that hasn't seen it, but man, I was a fucking rug.

I was so, I couldn't even hold it in.

I gave myself a headache trying to hold in my tears.

Fucking stupid.

Dumb.

And I don't know what this one means.

Maybe you will, but it says, my twin flame is under a love curse with his baby mama while I'm madly in love with him.

I mean, listen, all I know about the twin flame is it's a controversy there's a thing it's weird the cult for sure.

I hope she doesn't mean that

well what is the twin flame well it's there's a couple definitions that I know and it's that one was this cult that I was not aware of and then there's another but but other people don't that don't know about the cult reference is twin flame is just another soulmate oh my god like so it means like soulmate yeah pretty much but I've heard can't Twin flames also be like a negative thing?

Well, no, yes, because but that's what I'm saying.

People who believe in it one way believe that, and the other people believe in it.

Oh, it's like, it's this cult.

Look it up.

Twin flame, whatever the hell.

Okay, let's see.

It was like Twin Flame Cult?

Yeah, pretty much.

Yeah, religion, or whatever you want to call it.

Yeah, I mean, I would say organiz, like

flame

cult.

Let's see.

Some person started.

Oh, twin flame universe.

Yeah, yeah.

It's organization describing.

A couple started or something.

By a cult, by Jeff, and some divine.

It centers around the the concept of twin flames.

Intent soulmates and encouraged members to pursue these romantic connections, often with individuals assigned by leaders.

Former members have reported allegations of coercive control, indoctrination, and abuse.

The group's practices, such as the mere exercise, where members blame themselves for their issues.

That's not healthy.

Have also been criticized.

The group has faced legal issues and stuff like that, too.

Yeah.

Oh, weird.

There's a Netflix doc.

You might have to watch it.

It's called

Escaping Twin Flames.

Oh, of course.

See?

Of course, the Netflix documentary about it.

But the other version of Twin Flames, the other definition of it, is pretty much like soulmate.

I think when people use that word twin flames, they mean it in more of

that way, not this cult way.

Because it says it's like a unique and intense soul connection where two individuals are believed to be two halves of the same soul.

Right.

That made an agreement to split

before coming here.

Destined to mirror each other's strengths and weaknesses to fall.

Actually,

the twin flame thing is supposed to be like

kind of like intense shadow work in a physical way.

Almost like you're

like, love is not always meant to be so easy all the time.

It's actually a sign that this person's here to elevate your soul, graduate it to a different level, elevate the frequency.

Me and you have done that.

You kind of hold up a mirror to one another.

And it's a mirror of

criticism with love, if that makes sense.

It's a mirror of not trying to hurt you.

literally, we made this agreement before we're coming here.

I don't know where we were at.

We were in the wah wah waf metaphysical fucking realm.

Hey, man.

And then I said, and then we were dumb enough to say, we'll go back to earth, right?

But we're going to split and then we're going to find whatever, whatever we did.

So you were dumb enough to say, hey, you want to go down there again?

Fuck no.

You want to be born in the 90s?

No.

What about the 70s, baby?

But yeah, so I'm assuming them saying, and then there's a curse on, I don't, I'm not.

A love curse, she said.

Yeah, a love curse by who?

What, his baby mama is a witch.

Maybe she practiced.

I don't know.

And honestly, I would love to see.

Yeah, I don't know.

There's a lot of, anyway, I think curses you have to go look for.

You have to look for a curse?

It's not like something

legally practiced.

Do you believe curses can work?

Well, I think curses work a lot like prayer, right?

So prayer is just a really intense

manifestation technique.

So, can we put Donald Trump's ass in a jar somewhere?

Listen.

I know a lot of TikTok witches that would be on that shit for real.

Can we have a fucking powwow?

We'll do it at my house and let's curse this motherfucker.

But I think it brings up a good point because people will

heavily criticize

spell work or whatever because

heavily criticize it, right?

Yeah, but it's a prayer.

They'll go to Mass and they'll take body of the blood, drink of the wine of the blood of the Christ, you know, eat the wafer.

That's the body, body, you know, all that stuff.

It's literally, and then you go pray or whatever.

It is so similar that it's a ritualistic practice that

you that literally it's you're just tapping into the vibrations of all the world that you live in.

Everything runs off frequency.

We're all in a vibrating state, whatever.

And in my opinion, it's no different than me putting some herbs in a thing and lighting something, writing it, burning it versus you going underneath and paying.

Yeah, like they do that in the Catholic Church.

They have shit ton of light candles.

Yeah, no, no, right.

Oh, no, actually, incense, freaking sense.

It's a very historical, listen,

whatever.

People get in the conversation of how modern religion borrowed from a lot of pagan roots.

But

it's a thing.

And I feel like if what she's talking about and the fact that she mentions twin flames and curse, I'm assuming.

It's our witches.

Or whatever.

Maybe.

I'm not really sure.

Sure.

I mean, I like that shit.

I would rather do that shit 10 times over.

I think people get it so

they think you're out there like making a voodoo doll or something and like I don't know.

I think I'm down to make a voodoo doll of Trump and stab him.

No.

For sure.

I'll put a curse on his ass.

But honestly, people who do curses and work on the with a dark

we have a child knocking on our door.

I'm not shocked.

Me neither.

Mom, mom, hold on one second.

Hold on.

Hold on one minute.

One second, please.

Man, these damn kids, they don't take no for an answer.

Hold on, bro.

Well, I guess, hey, all of them are going to be in school soon.

Hallelujah.

We'll do nighttime recordings.

Yeah.

Well, thanks, guys, for listening.

Send some, you know, positive vibes our way and healing.

And

we'll talk about it.

Send them some more secrets.

Yeah, we like to hear it.

Send them some stuff, like anonymous shit.

And

I'm still looking to hear from a trad wife, a traditional wife from our previous episode.

Well, one reached out to me, but

I'm like, you're a liar.

Yeah.

It has to be a certain fit, you know?

Will they try to act like it's not?

I said, No, outside of religion, you're just a trad wife because you want to be one.

I think those exist.

Well, she said she was, and then by the end, I was like, No, you're not.

Oh, okay.

Got it.

By the way you explained that, no, you're definitely influencing by a religious woman.

So make sure to continue to like and subscribe, leave a comment.

We love you guys.

Um, thanks for all the love and support.

And we'll be talking to you guys next week.

Bye.

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