There's Always More To The Story

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Speaker 2 Okay, so. This is it.

Speaker 1 I know. Well, I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to everybody who

Speaker 1 has liked our show, subscribed to our show, left comments, rated it, reviewed it, listened to it.

Speaker 1 The first few episodes have done very well, and it just makes us even more excited to do more, don't you think?

Speaker 2 Yeah, people still want to hear us talk after all these years.

Speaker 1 But you know, it's funny is I noticed a lot of people were saying, can we get one of just you and Ty by yourselves again? I know.

Speaker 2 I noticed that.

Speaker 1 I think that's going to end up being the more popular ones.

Speaker 2 Well, I just figured I didn't want, I feel like people already know so much about us. So I was like, oh, I want to get guests

Speaker 2 at first. So I wanted to like feel it out.
Oh, I thought that was funny, though. And then we're thinking like they don't want to hear us talk just me and you

Speaker 1 but i do have to say the ones that have aired so far have been very fun and you know i've learned a lot from the people that we did talking to um

Speaker 1 so it's just been you know

Speaker 1 so far it's been a journey but exciting and

Speaker 1 um i'm just really I'm so thankful for the support. So if you're so grateful.
You know, if you guys can continue to like and subscribe to the show, listen to the show.

Speaker 1 you can also catch it on Patreon. The episode always drops a week later on Patreon where you can watch the full video episode.

Speaker 2 Which I also noticed a lot of people commenting, saying,

Speaker 2 Where's the full video? I want to watch it. I'm like, dude, I so I've been I didn't realize, I didn't realize people really want to watch

Speaker 2 a podcast recording versus just listening to it from audio. So we're learning.
We're still learning, guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we are.

Speaker 2 And yeah, uploading to Patreon has been real fun. Yeah.
But

Speaker 1 so I have been commenting to people like on our TikToks and all of that, like, hey, you can watch it here because people have been curious about that too.

Speaker 1 But I think, I think this week, I know that you and I wanted to jump into a little bit of,

Speaker 1 we've been noticing comments of people bringing up stuff and situations and conversations that we've had in the past.

Speaker 1 And like way past, like we were young.

Speaker 2 Like kids.

Speaker 1 Still kids. Like we were kids.

Speaker 2 You'll look at all. I mean, you were, yeah, 17 years old.
Yeah. Or 18.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 and I feel.

Speaker 2 But what do you feel like, though? Do you feel like, is there anything specific that you were like, listen, I really want to like?

Speaker 1 I think the number one thing to me that bugs me the most is when I see people

Speaker 1 state, like, oh, Tyler and Kim

Speaker 1 forced Caitlin into this adoption. And basically, basically, what I get from it is like, they're saying that I chose a man over my child because I was too afraid that you were going to leave.

Speaker 1 And then a lot of people were pulling comment, like tagging me in this TikTok clip of a conversation that we had on a hill. I think we were like 18 years old.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 when I was burning.

Speaker 1 Your fedora.

Speaker 2 Yo, don't judge me for the fedora, guys. It was a thing.
I don't know. It was a thing then.
It was, man. I mean, it's fine, yeah.
Back in the old 2000s.

Speaker 1 But it was a conversation you and I were having. And

Speaker 1 you asked me, like, did you ever have any fears that I I would leave you if you were to make a different decision or anything? And so I started talking about all of my fears.

Speaker 1 And one of my fears at that young age was like, yes, I had a fear that if I was going to parent that child and take that baby home, that we would not last forever and that we would break up eventually as a couple.

Speaker 2 I think what people are worried about, though, is the, is the wording. Right.
It was like, it was like you said, like, oh, um, I didn't want to go against your decision or

Speaker 2 I was afraid you were going to leave me if I came home from the hospital. It wasn't like, you know, so I get why people are like saying this.
I understand it.

Speaker 1 My thing is, though, is when I was a child making this decision for my child, I was looking at statistics and people around me. And all of the people around me that had babies at a young age,

Speaker 1 none of those people were with the other person. Like, look at even just.

Speaker 1 In general, statistically, people that have teen pregnancies, the couples do not last. They break up.
It's very, very rare that people will stay together after having a child at a young age.

Speaker 2 We knew that. Yes.
I mean, it was it.

Speaker 1 So to say if that was one of my fears, absolutely. That I would, me and you would end up not working out and we would have to co-parent this child.
And yes, that was a fear of mine.

Speaker 1 I didn't want my child to come into like a broken home or end up being in a broken home because you and I both experienced that too. But I think people, yeah, they do twist the wording.

Speaker 2 And I get like watching, I'm like, oh, yeah, I understand where you would get that perception because that's, that's what was said.

Speaker 2 But it was more or less like, I was afraid you were going to leave me eventually. I was afraid, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 You were going to, not that I'm going to leave you because of, if I don't do adoption, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 It was more like, and I know you that you wouldn't have. Would we have deteriorated over the months or years? I think so.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I mean, listen, we can't go back in time and say what would have happened, but I highly assume that. We wouldn't have had the freedom to like go to therapy at a young age.
Everyone hated on us.

Speaker 2 Remember this? Yeah. When we were 17 and we were like, like, let's go to therapy.
My mom was like, you're an idiot. I can't believe you're going to go to therapy.
You're only 17.

Speaker 2 What issues could you possibly have? And I'm like, well, I did just go through this adoption. Me and my girlfriend are, you know, like, it's a huge, yeah.
So everyone hated on us.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think you're right. I think we wouldn't have been able to just emotionally and mentally grow from all of just not even the adoption trauma, but just our whole childhood trauma.

Speaker 2 I mean, we had a lot to go through.

Speaker 1 But I think the thing that makes me angry, like two things I would say that make me like upset the most is that when people turn around and say, oh, you know, you chose Ty, Ty forced you to do this adoption and his mom did.

Speaker 1 For one, I feel like you're stripping me of the sadness and the hurt and the strength that it took for me to hand over my child that I so desperately wanted to parent.

Speaker 1 I would never be that weak of a woman to choose a man over any of my children. Even to this day, if something were to happen, I would be choosing my children.
You know what I mean um

Speaker 2 and the other one is is that do people not think that you wanted this child I mean honestly I personally feel like people forget that I even had um like emotion like yeah any attachment to it they're like oh you wanted it that's all you even wanted from the beginning and blah blah and it's like they have no clue that me and you flip-flopped our decision both of us did you wanted a parent i was like whoa and then you wanted uh adoption i I was like, maybe I want a parent.

Speaker 2 Because after you kind of, the first time that you said you wanted a parent, and I was like, okay, fine, we'll figure this out.

Speaker 1 That wasn't documented on that.

Speaker 2 That was not documented on the screen.

Speaker 1 That was behind the scenes.

Speaker 2 Because they left for like a couple of weeks and I said they'll come back if anything happens because you're on labor or you're going to be a labor watch later on.

Speaker 2 But,

Speaker 2 and so when that happened and you called me and said that we're, you know, I want to do this. I'm like, all right.
Like, I buckled up. I was like, we're going to go to Salvation Army, mom.

Speaker 2 I got to get all this stuff. What does is your mom saying? And she was like, okay, okay.
If that's what, if that's what she wants to do, if that's what we're doing, that's what we'll do.

Speaker 2 And I remember thinking in my head, like, all right, I'm going to go to Salvation Army and I got like 50 bucks.

Speaker 2 I'm going to try to find like a $5 this, a $10 that, you know, and so, but I feel like when that happened and the cameras didn't catch it, they didn't really see the back and forth and how hard it was.

Speaker 2 to like be at birth dad and have to make this decision too because at the end of the day it was like i could have wanted certain things but you're you're carrying this baby i have no control over this right or you could have so i mean but that's what mine that's what mine like blows my mind is to people for people first of all to think that i would choose a man over my child but then again for them to just think that you have no emotions or sadness or sorrow or any want or that i would give you some ultimatum that's insane That's sick.

Speaker 2 That is so disturbing.

Speaker 1 And then for me to continue to stay with you over all these years and have other girls, daughters.

Speaker 1 And I also, I always say, if you guys really were to think that I'm that type of person, that's disgusting because I teach my girls completely opposite.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? And they know that. Like I would never stay in a relationship and let my girls think that that would be a normal, healthy thing.

Speaker 2 But I also noticed that the clip that they played that you're talking about on TikTok where we're on the hill talking, they didn't.

Speaker 2 play the whole clip where I asked later on during that same conversation I talk about what I was afraid of and it was like we were literally just talking about our fears of if we decide to parent yeah which honestly producers ask us that all the time.

Speaker 2 Oh, gosh, you know what I'm saying? Remember, we'd have situations, but how do you think this would be?

Speaker 2 Like, you know, if Carly was here, yeah, you know, so, and then what was that, season four of the original?

Speaker 2 So, I mean, we were already kind of in the nitty-gritty of T-Mom world, but um, I think it's interesting that people would even like, because you've even addressed this before and said multiple times, and now I've gotten to a point like this is my last time addressing it.

Speaker 1 If you think that I am weak, I guess, then I guess believe whatever you want.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but um, I was telling one of my friends the other day about this situation and I said, you know, eventually it just gets to the point where I can say the truth and you can either believe it or not.

Speaker 1 And I sleep good at night. I know my morals and my values.
I know the person that I love and I care about. Right.
And that's all that matters to me. So it's like I'm sick of addressing it constantly.

Speaker 1 And so I'm just kind of like, this is my last time addressing it. I'm not a weak woman.

Speaker 1 Tyler wanted this baby just as much as I did. We both leaned on each other so much through all all of those emotions and the sorrow and the back and forth of planning, making an adoption plan.

Speaker 1 And I think to go back to like what you said to, or what we were saying about how MTB didn't document that time when we flip-flopped.

Speaker 1 And so, yeah, like I called Tyler and I was just like, I, and it was getting close to her delivery. And I saw her getting really anxious.
And I was like, I don't think I can do this. I can't do this.

Speaker 1 I want to parent her. And he was on the phone and he was just like, okay, if that's what you want to do, we will do it.

Speaker 1 Are you sure that's what you want to do? You read the pros and cons last number, and I was just like, I wanna, I wanna do it. And, you know, also, what was not shown was,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 there was, so it was a few weeks where I was like, okay, I'm gonna parent this baby. You know, this is what it's gonna be.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 and I was getting things and my, you know, my grandma was sending things to the house for the baby.

Speaker 1 And, and then one day, uh, my mom and I got into an argument and she looked at me and she said, Oh, yeah, well, who's gonna buy your daughter diapers when she needs them?

Speaker 1 And then off rip in a snap, I was like, oh, hell no. Because I watched my grandmother hold things over my mom's head my whole entire life.

Speaker 1 And in that moment, I was like, I will not

Speaker 1 have anybody look at me and say that, how is your child going to get diapers? When that is one of the most necessity items of having a child.

Speaker 2 And when she was also preaching to us, like she wouldn't like the adoption, she wanted us to parent. We'll help you.
We'll help you.

Speaker 2 And then I remember you called me, you were saying, like, she said she was going to help us. And she just, we got in one little argument.
It wasn't even that bad, you said.

Speaker 2 And she said, well, yeah, well, good luck. Who's going to buy you diapers? And then I remember being like, oh, my, like, so are you're not going to help us?

Speaker 2 Like, or, or you're only going to help us when it's grieving for you or whatever or you're going to hold it over my head or whatever. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And so in that moment, that's when I was like, okay, no, never mind. I have to make this decision for her because if not, my life, it's going to be things held over my head forever and ever and ever.

Speaker 2 You call me and tell me, all right, never mind. The doctrine's back on.
I was like, oh, my God.

Speaker 1 And in that moment, you were, you know, you're thinking, like, all right, I'm gonna be a dad. We're gonna do this.

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Speaker 1 Get 15% off your next gift and go to uncommon goods.com slash kate and tie that's uncommon goods.com slash kate and tie for 15 off uncommon goods we're all out of the ordinary so was was there any emotions for you in that moment when i called and was like the adoption's back on i can't do it yes were you like sad or yeah okay so a part of me was like because you obviously told me that after you said your mom wasn't going to buy us diapers or something like that.

Speaker 2 I remember thinking in my head like, damn it. All right, fine.
Well, we'll just, you know, I'll figure this out. You know, my mom will be there.
I'll get another job or whatever.

Speaker 2 I was thinking of what I was going to do. And then when you mentioned it, I want to do adoption.
It's back on. All the reasons still stay the same.
Because remember, you mentioned me.

Speaker 2 Well, our pros and cons list that we made is still the same. Nothing's changed.
We haven't gotten a bigger house. My mom hasn't gotten more money.
I haven't so many things, like nothing was changing.

Speaker 2 Right. You know, our parents were still using.

Speaker 2 We're getting evicted still. Still going through school.
Still going through school. So like, I remember when you said that and I was like, all right, you're right.
Adoption is right.

Speaker 2 But I feel like that two weeks that we both thought we were going to parent, I mean, yeah, I got excited. I got partying.
I was like accepting just the chaos. All right, this is going to be my life.

Speaker 2 It's going to be chaotic,

Speaker 2 whatever it's going to be. But, you know, to say that I wasn't, you know, a little devastated when you called and said that would be a lie because I was.
Right. And we talked about that.

Speaker 2 I mean, we have many times we were in the hospital even, look at each other. We remember.
We had to say nothing.

Speaker 1 It was like telepathic.

Speaker 2 We just knew we were both like,

Speaker 2 let's just run. Let's just run.
Yep. Let's just run somewhere.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because even, yeah even when she was born those thoughts come for so i feel like yeah people had the perception that i was just for this adoption 100 all the time you know no no negotiations whatever and i get watching the clip that's like oh you said you know your decision it's like yeah it was my decision but one thing you said i i love so much was you said you're just lucky i took your your decision into consideration so i don't have to not

Speaker 2 all girls do and i was like boom you know that's that's the reality you were but i gracious and nice enough to do that.

Speaker 1 But I feel like when I found out I pregnant, when I found out that I was pregnant, I feel like I automatically took you into consideration because I was, because, first of all, you were a good dude, a supportive dude.

Speaker 1 You were always there for me. And I was like, hey, this is 50% of his baby as it is mine.
Like, I can't be the only one making all these decisions, even though I could have.

Speaker 2 You could have. That's what I wanted everyone to understand, though, that you literally could have.
Yes. But you didn't.

Speaker 1 No, so I don't feel like that's fair. Unless, I mean, if you were a loser and a punch shit and just like left me, I would have been doing whatever the hell I decided to do, you know?

Speaker 2 But I think it was like just the wording was like, oh, it was your decision, which took away the fact that, you know, it wasn't your decision. It was all mine and whatever.

Speaker 2 So I feel like, you know, listen, you can go back and find multiple clips where you made mistakes or said things that were, you know, not the best or paint us in a different light. That's fine.

Speaker 2 We were on TV for 16 years. I guarantee you're going to find something, multiple things that just don't sit right with you.

Speaker 1 Does people forget, Do they forget like we were literally growing up on toxygen? Who doesn't make mistakes in their young years?

Speaker 2 Like, I think, honestly, a lot of it, the mistakes were like just from being naive. Like, honestly, I think back about a lot of the stuff that has to do with

Speaker 2 the very first time that we got in trouble with Brandon and Teresa about posting the thing about Carly, the very first boundary that I ever broke, the first and last one, in my opinion, was that one picture that I posted on that slideshow after they went on the magazine cover and after they did the adoption to do that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so after they did the front of the magazine cover and after they did the Dr. Drew show thing,

Speaker 1 that's when you're talking about when you made the collage of all of the pictures of Carly throughout the years. Yeah.
Posted it on your private Facebook.

Speaker 2 No, it was on the fan page. Oh, was it on the fan? Yeah, it's on the fan page.
I don't know how many, I mean, still, back then it was like... Instagram wasn't really a thing.

Speaker 2 So it was like, I think the Facebook fan pages are more like popular or something back then.

Speaker 2 But yeah, it was on that fan page. And I did it without even thinking because all that stuff happened.
Dr. Drew, magazine life, you know, whole magazine cover.

Speaker 2 And I think what's interesting is they play this clip that was played on TV where we already got in trouble off camera. We already got called.
We already got in trouble.

Speaker 2 So when we had the conversation on camera about me posting that video, it was past tense. It already happened.
So you're super emotional.

Speaker 2 You're pregnant and you're talking to me, telling me, you know, they're going to find out this is bad, you know what I mean? And it, and it comes across very like, I'm very, uh,

Speaker 2 like, just like, screw everybody, I'm doing it. And to be honest with you, that was true when it first happened.

Speaker 2 Uh, and I, those are one, that's one example where I feel young and naive and I'm just just being arrogant.

Speaker 2 And I take full accountability for being arrogant and just, just annoyed and feeling inferior and just all those things. And like, that's, that's an honest mistake.

Speaker 2 And I think people forget that we actually, um, you know, fixed that mistake, quote unquote, when we went and had the conversation with them and we talked about it all, and we got a lot of that.

Speaker 2 And then

Speaker 1 on further, I would ask for permission of what pictures I could post.

Speaker 2 And they said we could post the back of her head as long as you can't see her face. Yes.
And so that's what we did. We never posted another pic that was not approved by them.

Speaker 1 And it was very rare that I ever even, after a fact, posted pictures of her.

Speaker 1 It was like once every few visits I would, but it would always be the back of her head where you can't, because I followed their boundaries of not showing her face. And I completely understood that.

Speaker 1 And I feel like they, in turn, gave me a little piece of like, oh, that makes me feel good because I can share her a little bit with the world.

Speaker 2 Right, right.

Speaker 1 But, and so, yeah, I feel like we came to a very good

Speaker 1 understanding with that.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And I think that's what also when they mentioned to us about saying,

Speaker 2 we don't, pretty much we don't want to be on camera anymore. And we were like, that's fine.
And the one,

Speaker 2 you know, boundary that they said said was we don't want you repeating our conversations verbatim yeah word for word word for word summarization yeah was fine but don't repeat what we say word for word we said okay fine they never said stop talking about Carly stop talking about the adoption stop all that stuff keep our names out your mouth you know keep our you know they that never happened they literally just said don't post our word-for-word conversations or repeat the word-for-word conversations on camera.

Speaker 2 We didn't.

Speaker 2 And so I feel like when people talk about these boundaries that we've supposedly broken with them, I have a hard time figuring out where they are because

Speaker 2 what I think is interesting too is that you are literally telling me what boundaries I was given. As if like, it's almost like, okay, who makes a boundary? The person, right?

Speaker 2 And then who delivers that boundary? The person delivers it to me, not you. So you're telling me what the boundaries were.
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 Because you didn't see our private conversations that we had

Speaker 2 off camera, not even in public at all, just me and you and brain trees talking so right yeah it's true and it's always been private so that's why it's funny because it's almost you know a good response to people when they say like oh you've broken boundaries be like oh so when did brain and charisa tell you our boundaries thank you when did when did they release that information to you because you're going off of what you assume right assumptions and and that's dangerous and that's kind of why i feel like with this podcast we can we can get into certain stuff we can we can you know shine some more light give some more context because i do believe context is super important oh especially when you're taking old clips that are edited and down and putting them all together to fit your narrative or whatever whatever it is you're trying to prove so it's like I think it's interesting when people are telling me what the boundaries are from a private conversation that I had with Branch Reese that we would never even share it would never share yeah so it's like and also about communication like you don't know how often we texted on a daily basis.

Speaker 2 You're assuming that we didn't talk a lot or you're assuming that we message every two months, or you're assuming if it was me, I would only message maybe once, twice a year.

Speaker 2 Well, you don't know the normalcy of our communication. You don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're not in my life.

Speaker 2 Exactly.

Speaker 1 You know, so how can you?

Speaker 1 So that's why I think, though, too, for me, I think it's like I don't have a problem with addressing certain things, but when you address things and people still don't understand or don't believe you, that's when I automatically, I'm like, you know what?

Speaker 1 Fine, I said my truth, and I'm not going to keep going back and addressing the same issue over and over and over again. And that's why I said, at the end of the day, I sleep great.
Yeah. Listen.

Speaker 1 Because I know my truth.

Speaker 2 My, hey, four plus four equals 10 for you. Right.
Fine. Like, that's what I'm at.

Speaker 1 And my life is four equals eight for me. So,

Speaker 2 you know, like, I'm, yeah. But I, but I also think it's like, like you said, to just get, I'm going to address it one time, one last time, and that's it.
I think it's important. We can do that.

Speaker 2 We're allowed to do that. And I think it's, it's, it, it gives clarification for people who are making all these assumptions.
People on TikTok making these assumptions is dangerous. Oh, gosh.

Speaker 2 And I think it's really leads people and i think it's hypocritical for them to go on these tick tocks and say privacy they want to be private stop talking about it you're talking about it more than i am true you're making multiple videos talking about our situation and talking about carly

Speaker 1 preaching against us doing it right so i think that's people should really kind of self-reflect a little bit you're you're telling us certain things and you're making these videos with all these assumptions which none are verified none are i i i just think it's like it's crazy i think to piggyback off that too i think one thing that i also would like to say is you know it goes back to people not knowing the full details of our story because things have been private but um even when teresa said like i'm not going to be responding to your texts for a while i we spoke to adoptees and we got multiple adoptees and multiple adoptees told us keep reaching out send pictures tag pictures along with your messages so that way you have receipts you can show carly when she's older that you did not stop.

Speaker 1 And if her parents decide to show bees to her or not, that's up to them.

Speaker 1 But at least you can go and say, I didn't stop. I tried to send updates, all of those things.
Because as birth parents, when stuff gets cut off, you don't know what to do.

Speaker 1 So I figured speaking to adoptees and other birth parents would push me in the right direction or what I should do.

Speaker 2 I also feel like it's kind of a lose-lose. Like there's no winning because if we didn't reach out, people would say, you're an idiot.
Why would you not fight for your daughter?

Speaker 2 And if we do reach out, they're saying, stop fighting for your daughter and be quiet and silent. You're hurting everybody.

Speaker 2 It's like, so I don't think there's a there's no winning for birth parents in this situation.

Speaker 2 I think we just have to go off of what we know, which is like, okay, like you said, every adoptee we talked to said, I would want to know that you still tried.

Speaker 1 Yeah, boom, or even I had some that said, I, you know, I wish I would have saw my

Speaker 1 birth parents trying that hard, right?

Speaker 2 You know, and it's like, oh, damn. Yeah.
So it's like, I mean, and honestly,

Speaker 2 you know, you sent in a text message that you did, that wasn't normal text messages.

Speaker 2 You only started addressing Carly personally on Teresa's phone after the fact of her saying, like, I'm not going to be responding to you anymore. And you said, well, you may not be responding to me.

Speaker 2 That's fine. But I made a promise to Carly to always reach out, give updates, pictures, letters, whatever.
So that's what I'm doing. And like you said, you can choose to not show it to her at all.

Speaker 2 That's fine. And you can choose also not to talk to me at all.
That's fine. But that's also separate.

Speaker 2 from my promise I made to her and how I feel that she should, you know, the information she should know, whatever.

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Speaker 2 And so I think people see the screenshots of like, or the, you know.

Speaker 1 Right, it looks creepy. I'm sure.
I get it. It does.
But they didn't understand the backstory.

Speaker 2 And you don't understand the context. Right.

Speaker 2 so it's like yeah if you think two text messages a month is overboard or or too much or whatever that's that's your perception and that's valid uh but like i said your perception is based off of your perception it's not based off of the normalcy no and the in the you know track record of communication that we've always had with them you don't know those specific details so you can't really tell me that's overboard that's overdoing it how do you tell you that that's what i'm saying when did brain treat to tell you right that hey you know, we only text once every five months.

Speaker 2 So twice a month is too much. You know what I mean? Like you're going off of these things with, and honestly, I feel like what people don't understand is that it's dangerous.

Speaker 2 And you're making these assumptions and having people on the comments. And

Speaker 2 Carly could read these comments one day. And I think people should just really just step back and think about that for a second.
I'm only here speaking my truth as a birth parent.

Speaker 2 So that way, if she does come and look for information, there it is. Right.

Speaker 2 and she has a truth but she's not going to have the truth on top of all these assumptions and these speculations and none of the none of the details none of the information the correct information a lot of it's false a lot of it's wrong yeah um so like the whole thing about um it being five years there there has been the finalized paperwork which

Speaker 2 open adoption agreement which we have which i don't know where where it's at but People are confused saying that the adoption was only for five years and that me and you should be grateful for anything above and beyond that.

Speaker 1 Of course. And that

Speaker 2 and that is my thing is like, that is false. The paperwork that you're getting the information off of was from a not finalized form

Speaker 2 of our adoption agreement when Dawn gave us that at the table.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and that was from like way in the beginning of our us making the adoption plan.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so and the whole five years thing was only about a picture that I wanted on her birthday, specifically by herself for the first five years, so that way, which you never got. That's by the way.

Speaker 2 Well, we got a picture that just wasn't like that, though. Not the way it was.
It's fine. I never argued about it.
I was like, whatever.

Speaker 2 I never complained because I was like, listen, I'm still getting pictures. I was happy about it.
No, I get it.

Speaker 2 But the information that they're going off of that little clause in that piece of paper that they're zooming in from a TV show

Speaker 2 is not the finalized open adoption agreement. We have the finalized open adoption agreement.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's in my email.

Speaker 2 And it clearly states visits up until 18. Once a year.
Once a year. Annual.
A-N-N-U-A-L. Annual visits.
That is one visit per year until she's 18. Right.
All of our signatures are on it.

Speaker 2 It's all in black and white. It's all there.

Speaker 2 But God forbid, you keep going on your little screenshot of a TV show from 10 years ago and zooming in on the little clause on adoption paperwork that wasn't in the final form. Right.
No, it wasn't.

Speaker 2 So you're making these TikToks and these damaging accusations

Speaker 2 based off of false information.

Speaker 1 Well, and it comes back to people not fully being educated about adoption and open adoption because like we were told this whole time and this whole journey when we were making this decision for her was, you know, if you ever change your mind about openness or whatever during this, we can, Dawn used to always say, we can pull out the big eraser, we can erase it, and we can make it to however you feel and however you want it.

Speaker 1 Right. So yes, after she was born and we held held her and saw her, of course we thought to ourselves, oh, hell no, this is going to be really hard.
I love her. I want to see her.

Speaker 1 I don't want to have any what-ifs. I want to know what she's doing and what does she look like and what is she into.
And so we told Dawn, no, no, no. We want to switch it to open.

Speaker 2 And we did. Yeah.
And you, and you, and I honestly, I want everyone to understand that is okay.

Speaker 2 Birth mothers are allowed.

Speaker 2 to change their mind once that baby comes into the world because everything before the whole nine months of being pregnant is is all speculation wondering not knowing that what it's gonna be like and what you're how you're gonna feel yeah and so I think people don't understand that during the whole adoption process they always say well once the baby's born things may be different and and they always said you could change your mind

Speaker 2 and I believe that every woman has a right to change her mind especially when it comes to being a mother for the rest of your life or not being a mother you know that's a huge lifelong altering decision.

Speaker 2 So I think people don't understand that it's also not legally binding. You think this open adoption agreement is legally binding? It is not.

Speaker 1 Well, no, but I know like in some states, like California,

Speaker 1 you can enforce it and stuff like that too. But yeah, a lot of people, yeah, they don't.
But I think another

Speaker 1 misconception, which I think is funny that I'm seeing a lot lately, and I know that you've mentioned it too.

Speaker 1 So like my mom and I's relationship is in a better spot now than it was a year ago. And like I love my mom.
Don't get me wrong. I do a love or she's my mom.

Speaker 1 But I see a lot of people saying, April was right. April and Butch were right.
See, they never should have done the adoption. And I'm like, do all you guys forget what you watched?

Speaker 1 Do you not recall all of the stuff that was happening at this house? My mom was using, Butch was using. We were moving all the time.
My house wasn't fleff fested with fillies.

Speaker 1 Remember at Johnny Legas?

Speaker 2 Right. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Like, horror.

Speaker 2 You walk in and they would jump all over you immediately.

Speaker 1 My mom got arrested for drunk driving, like like all of these things. And I'm like, so you think that I should have just like, yep, my mom was right.

Speaker 1 I totally should have brought a baby into that environment.

Speaker 2 Like, what? I think it's interesting because people are, like I said, people are looking at the situation 16 years down the line. Right.
Okay. So you're like, oh, watch this old clip.

Speaker 2 Oh my God, they were right. It's like, dude, you guys, first off, you didn't know the future.
And second off, they were on crack. Literally.
Okay.

Speaker 2 They're on crack and drunk and getting evicted and getting going to jail.

Speaker 2 Are you guys seriously going to tell us, oh you should listen to your mom you should listen to butch in april right i'm like think about that for a second you're telling me i should have listened to butch in april 16 years ago let that sink in for a moment

Speaker 2 like it is actually mind-blowing and it's like i get what people are saying like oh well April was able to,

Speaker 2 you know, fish out Dawn or sense that adoption was wrong. But I'm going to let you guys know her intention

Speaker 2 was not to save us from being screwed by adoption. Her intention was to have what she thought was hers and what she thought was right.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And what she wanted to be a grandma, wanted you to be a mom. It had no.

Speaker 2 Her and your dad both. Yeah, they did not try telling us.

Speaker 1 Because remember your dad, he was like, I would live in a car with my parents.

Speaker 2 And I think people are confused that, oh, they tried. So, no, their intention behind.
Wanting us to keep Carly was not based off of because they thought we were going to be screwed by adoption.

Speaker 2 They could tell that adoption was a scam or whatever the case is. They did it because of selfish reasonings.
And that's the massive truth.

Speaker 2 Because one thing that people also don't realize is the day that we signed off our rights in court, they fought us in court.

Speaker 2 They literally stood in the back of that courtroom and screamed that they object and they want custody of her.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they wanted to fight for custody of her. And I remember the judge looking and saying, I see two young children standing in front of me knowing what they want for their child.

Speaker 1 And he was like, Absolutely not. I deny it.
And I remember they had to like

Speaker 2 escort it. Yeah, because your mom was mad and my dad was mad and all this other stuff.
But, um, and it's like, yeah, because they were on crack.

Speaker 2 We're not going to listen to the, and also you're fighting for custody and you're getting evicted at the same time.

Speaker 1 My mom, so pink getting arrested for DUI and, you know,

Speaker 2 and also people just don't, they just don't know what it was like in your house on the day-to-day.

Speaker 1 No, they see these clips and so if you see my mother and your dad acting like that on camera. Guys.

Speaker 1 What did people think it was like all the time? Yeah.

Speaker 2 you know, and the fact that you're saying, Oh, you should listen to April and brought her back to that house. No, are you serious?

Speaker 1 Like you said, we can't predict the future, we can't predict the future, right?

Speaker 2 Of course.

Speaker 2 I mean, I think people are saying, Oh, you should have kept her, you should have parented her because we're on this TV show for 15 years and it gave us all this financial freedom and all these resources that we never would have had, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 I would say, if I could go back to that 16-year-old and be as wise and know all the information that I know now, I might have made a different decision. But unfortunately, nobody can do that.

Speaker 2 You can't, you're on a crystal ball, you can't just go back in time.

Speaker 1 So, but yeah, but for people to be like, April, but we're right. Why?

Speaker 2 I'm like huh like my mind when i see that comment and all the likes on it i'm like are you guys for real dude you want us as 16 year olds to listen to crackheads hell no that's insane bro yeah i just think it's interesting that we are even having to really go down this rabbit hole but i think it's justified because like i said real people have

Speaker 2 real uh you know consequences and things happen when you go on these videos and you make all these damaging speculations and accusations and you're fueling a fire that shouldn't even really be brewing.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 1 What's even funnier, though, is when you see people making these videos and they're spewing just misinformation and you reach out to those people and you're like, hey, listen, you can still not like me, but you know, you're spilling a lot of mistruth and I would like to inform you.

Speaker 1 And then they block you, but then continue making videos about you.

Speaker 2 So you don't want the truth. No.

Speaker 2 Isn't that weird? So I'm reaching out to you personally, not to, I have no idea.

Speaker 1 You can still not like me.

Speaker 2 Yes, you can still not like me. I'm not even trying to change your opinion.
What I'm trying to do is give you the accurate data

Speaker 2 so that way, in the facts, so that way when you do make these videos, you're not spewing damaging accusations and speculations. You actually have all the data.

Speaker 2 Do you want the data to make better informed videos? And you go, no, I want to.

Speaker 2 There were

Speaker 2 no response. They just blocked.
Oh, I get it blocked. That's an answer, right? So you're like, okay, you're literally, so

Speaker 2 you don't want the data. You don't want the truth.
That's funny.

Speaker 2 You don't want the facts and there's other creators who you reach out to them they like oh my god they're like oh yeah and then we'll talk and even if they're like well i still don't agree but like you know but i've had a lot of them say like you know i still think uh certain things i wouldn't do if i were you blah blah blah but i understand on a deeper level of what's going on thank you very much that's all i want right i'm like you know i can't control um people's opinions and what they do and what videos they make but i i definitely think if you're gonna make the videos hate on me i want you to have all the accurate data yeah right to do so that way if you're gonna hate on me at least you're spitting fast.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and not

Speaker 2 misinformation because it's damaging. We know how bad misinformation can harm stuff.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, um, I just feel like I think people should check their hypocrisy when it comes to making continuous videos with speculations like that big word. What hypocrisy?

Speaker 2 Oh, hypocrisy, that's a big word.

Speaker 2 You would have literally asked Siri to spell it for you. Oh, for sure,

Speaker 2 hypocrisy, H-I-P.

Speaker 2 Hold on.

Speaker 2 Hip. Go ahead.
H-I-P.

Speaker 2 You're already. Hip.

Speaker 1 Hypocrisy.

Speaker 2 H-Y-HYPE without the E.

Speaker 1 H-Y?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 H-Y-P. Hip-hop.
Whatever. Come on, you're so

Speaker 2 getting excited.

Speaker 1 H-Y-P-R-S.

Speaker 2 I-R-S.

Speaker 2 I-R-S

Speaker 1 C-Y.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 Yeah, anyway, so yeah, the videos people are making, it's hypocritical to preach about privacy and that, oh, you're breaking boundaries because you keep talking about the situation, you keep talking about it publicly, but you're literally making 10 times more videos than I've ever made.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're talking about my life all the time, publicly. Um, that's hypocritical, and I think you should do some introspection on that.

Speaker 2 Totally agree. Anything else?

Speaker 1 I mean, honey, we have a whole show that you can talk about.

Speaker 2 I know, but I was trying to think: like, hey, okay, our whole goal of the episode was to just kind of like go through what we're seeing right now, which is a lot of turmoil.

Speaker 2 People are very, and I also feel like these creators, once once the algorithm kind of feeds that thing, now they found their niche, right? Ooh, all the other videos have 1,200 likes or 1,200 views.

Speaker 2 But this one video they made on their opinion about our adoption story got 24,000 views. So now what do they do?

Speaker 2 I hit the golden ticket. This is

Speaker 2 their views.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 They're like, oh my God, this is it. So if I keep talking about the subjects, I'll keep.
gaining all the stuff. So it's like they found their little niche.

Speaker 1 Oh, gosh, yes. Because

Speaker 1 then their video talking about us has like got hundreds of thousands of views right and so i feel like people are just kind of like latching onto it and running okay so i asked our followers on the kate and ty break it down instagram page and i was like drop me some of your anonymous like juicy secrets i will keep it anonymous

Speaker 1 um and so i thought this was funny oh no um just to like bring it up to you and we could talk about it and i told everybody on the page what is it i told everybody on the page i said you know if it's shocking, you might end up on the podcast and I will totally keep you anonymous.

Speaker 1 So I want to know, do you want the one that's like, eh, kind of spicy or the one that's like, oh, shit, spicy first?

Speaker 2 I want to hit the nail on the head. I want this, but the

Speaker 2 you say spicy?

Speaker 1 Like, shocking. Okay, so a little shocking.
Like, okay, what do you do in this situation?

Speaker 2 Or like really? Okay, all right, all right. I'm ready.
I'm ready.

Speaker 1 Which one should we do first?

Speaker 2 The really shocking one. The really shocking one.
No, no. Actually, let's just go from the bottom up.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I got one, which is from a fan of ours, anonymous.

Speaker 2 anonymous anonymous fan secret yep secret and it said i slept with my younger brother's best friend and it was fire i slept with my younger brother's best friend and it was fire i have so many questions what are the ages how far apart are they are oh right are you literally like adults

Speaker 2 yeah i would hope so are you

Speaker 1 i don't know i i mean i so if somebody were to like one of your friends sleep with your sister how would you feel about that uh i would I wouldn't want to know.

Speaker 2 You wouldn't want to

Speaker 2 know. I don't want to know.
I mean,

Speaker 1 like, your best friend? My best friend?

Speaker 2 Hey, man, listen, keep it to yourself, homie. I don't want to know about you.

Speaker 2 Hell no.

Speaker 1 Well, then what happens if they ended up like

Speaker 2 being together? Yeah. Well, then we have to have a conversation.
But if you're just boinking and blinking once in a while, whatever, I don't need to know about that shit.

Speaker 2 But I mean, you know what I'm saying? Like, hey, whatever. I mean, but yeah, I mean, what the hell?

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I was like, I just let out, you know, I'm not really sure what I would do in that situation.

Speaker 1 Like, what if, so if somebody was sleeping with my sister and it was my best friend, say, I don't know, what if he was like a really good dude and really loved my sister?

Speaker 1 I mean, eventually, I guess I'd probably get over it. Like, if they ended up being together and stuff, like, would you be mad at first? Maybe I might be a little, not like mad, but like, ew.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Like, ew. You still hate my sister.

Speaker 2 You're nasty.

Speaker 1 Maybe, like, if my best friend Sam slept with my sister Sarah back in the day or something and they ended up together.

Speaker 2 I'd be like, ew. That's disgusting.
I don't, like I said, I don't want to know about that shit. Right.

Speaker 2 Now, if you want to date, we obviously have to have a conversation because guess who's going to be at Thanksgiving? Yeah, you would have to. You are.
So we got to talk.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you have to at that point. Hey, if you're just hooking up,

Speaker 2 hell no.

Speaker 1 Okay, so this one, I was like, Ty, we'll get a kick out of this one. I know you have a lot to say.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. I'm really.
I'm like,

Speaker 2 God, I'm nervous. Excited.

Speaker 1 Okay, so this is from another person on the Kate and Ty Break It Down Instagram page.

Speaker 1 And they said, I masturbate while my husband's sleeping.

Speaker 2 Oh, whoa, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 Yes, she masturbates while her husband is sleeping next to her. Why?

Speaker 1 My question is:

Speaker 1 What's going on?

Speaker 2 That's what I'm saying. I listen.

Speaker 1 So, what would your reaction be?

Speaker 2 You can't give me any of this. I don't, I need more detail.
I need more information. I need more details because I like,

Speaker 2 dude, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 What would your reaction be if you literally woke up in the middle of the night to me masturbating next to you?

Speaker 2 I would be like, yo, I'm right here. You got problems?

Speaker 2 Am I not? What's wrong wrong with me? That's what I'm thinking. I guess, yeah, I'd be like what, what, what's wrong with me? Is there nothing like that?

Speaker 1 And so I think if this person hears this, like, I wonder if, you know, you're not, you and your husband need to have like

Speaker 1 or just have a conversation about what you like, what you don't like if he's not pleasing you in the bedroom. You know what I mean? Because that's crazy.

Speaker 1 I couldn't imagine like waking up and you're like jerking your chicken next to me.

Speaker 1 I would I would be

Speaker 2 mortified. Would you be pissed? Yes.
Yeah, because I feel like, and I don't know if that does that means, what is it?

Speaker 2 I don't know if that means the fact that I'd be pissed, but I think it'd be more or less like, what's wrong with you and what's wrong with us? Right. What's going on?

Speaker 2 My body's right here. Right.

Speaker 1 I think that plays into showing that, like, there's more issues going on.

Speaker 2 Right? Because

Speaker 2 you're not speaking.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're just masturbating while I'm sleeping.

Speaker 2 Yo, don't do it. Yo, we're in the same bed.
What you, what, why? What's going on?

Speaker 1 Literally masturbating while sleeping next to one another.

Speaker 2 I would be pissed. Yeah.
And I don't know what that means about me. I don't know if that sounds about anybody pissed.

Speaker 1 I think the anger would be hurt.

Speaker 2 Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because you're like, or and it would be like, am I not doing enough for you? Am I not good at it?

Speaker 2 Am I not, you know, am I doing obviously you ain't doing something right if she's been just laying right next to you?

Speaker 1 Is there something I could do differently?

Speaker 2 No, that is so wackety-dackety.

Speaker 1 I'm like, there needs to be a conversation had.

Speaker 2 Okay, well, I also feel like, though, when people say, oh, how do you make it last so long? Oh, how do you be so happy? And it is sex.

Speaker 1 People don't, they don't put that i'm not saying all of that no at all it's very high well i was gonna say successful thinking back that though is like but you have to have conversations about sex

Speaker 2 i mean how am i gonna know what you like if you don't tell me right vice versa right right but i think when people ask it oh what is it it's like communication which involves Talking about sex, communicating about what you like, what you don't like.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And vice versa.
So like when I say communicate and then I say sex and honesty, loyalty, like those are all things that are like, that's what makes things last.

Speaker 2 And also being honest, you have to be honest. I am not protecting your feelings, and I don't want you protecting mine.
I am responsible for protecting my feelings

Speaker 1 in a respectful way. Well, I'm not going to try

Speaker 2 stupid bitch. I'm not going to be a good idea.
Right. You know, you're not dating.

Speaker 2 But, like, I'm not, but when I tell you things, I'm not thinking about,

Speaker 2 I'm not worried about, oh my God, I don't want to hurt her things. I have to be honest.

Speaker 1 Who you want to portray about how you're really feeling?

Speaker 2 Yeah. And so, and if my honesty creates a response in you where I have to apologize for it, that's a little different.
But I'm not, my intention going into it is not to

Speaker 2 you. No, my intention is honesty, right? This is how I really feel.
So, she needs to just be honest and say you're not doing something like how you're going to be. Listen, I'll be honest with you.

Speaker 2 I don't know what guy this girl's married to or whatever, but there are so many books out there. And I highly suggest reading them all because

Speaker 1 slip a few on the bed for him to read.

Speaker 2 What, bed? Or

Speaker 2 books?

Speaker 1 Yeah, give him some books.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, that's what I'm saying, though. But I also feel like,

Speaker 2 dudes, read the books, bro. Read all the books.

Speaker 2 Talk. Communicate with your partner.
Whatever. I mean, literally, I had to.
Kate didn't even know all the parts of her lady parts. I had to explain all the.
Yeah. I don't.

Speaker 2 I know what that is. I'm like, that's a major minor.
That's your.

Speaker 2 You're like, what?

Speaker 2 So it's like, yeah, get educated, bro. Like, damn.
That's what I mean. No, that is.

Speaker 1 There needs to be a conversation had.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 I guess my idea is, how do people not conversate about it? Like, how do you not have a conversation about it?

Speaker 2 No, you think the thing is like you just lay there and pretend your whole life that this is great or that you're, you know, why would you do that to yourself? Um,

Speaker 1 and then there is, uh, there's one where I'm like, hmm,

Speaker 1 this is a sticky situation. I'm not sure who my baby daddy is to my second child, my husband's or a friend of mine.
So, like, does this husband think that this baby is his?

Speaker 2 How old is this baby? And she is saying that she doesn't know if it's the husband or her friend. Or her friends.
Well, I think it's time to find out. I know, right? You did a DNA test.

Speaker 1 Well, and you think about, yeah, because you think the friend knows and you know.

Speaker 2 You don't got, I mean, don't involve the husband if you don't have to, I guess, at this point, because I'm not sure when this happened or they broke. I don't, you know, well, right.

Speaker 1 But my thing is, is like, so you have this baby, whatever, you don't know if it's your husband's or your friends,

Speaker 1 but if your husband is just going along and thinking this is his baby and then finds out he's not, yeah, that's very like, you might as well just get the hurt over with now.

Speaker 1 Oh, God, dude, that is because to prolong it and then him leave anyways or be upset, obviously, be upset anyways.

Speaker 2 Like,

Speaker 2 you and the friend, you and the friend do a DNA. You need to do a thing together.
Say, listen, I gotta make sure.

Speaker 2 And that's yeah, and then you, then, then, then that result will open up other bridges or it might close it off and like, cool, we don't gotta do nothing. Right.

Speaker 2 We're gonna have to worry about nothing because it's actually my husband's. And then we just kind of

Speaker 1 yeah, but then, God, could you imagine going to sleep at night, holding that secret?

Speaker 2 Oh, what secret?

Speaker 1 That, like, I cheated on my husband with my friend.

Speaker 2 I know what it's doing than holding a baby saying this ain't your baby, your baby. Oh, I know.

Speaker 2 It's all right. You gotta pick the other one, like, where I mean, you don't gotta

Speaker 1 people, man, dude, it is shock me. Yeah, that's you know, that is insane.
But that one, the one of the girls saying that she masturbates next to her husband while he's sleeping, that blew my mind.

Speaker 2 I actually feel really bad for her and him. Yeah, I really do.
I feel bad for both of them. I don't know why they're not communicating, but they need to.

Speaker 2 Because that's something you're really good at. Like, you say what you don't like, I say what I like, what I don't like, and that's it.
And you take, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Like, I just feel like, guys, just read books. There's so many books out there.

Speaker 1 Just read the books, and you'll be and like I said, just like have a conversation about sex, even if you know, it does not, and it shouldn't be, and it shouldn't be uncomfortable to have conversations with your partner.

Speaker 2 It is that problem, in my opinion, right?

Speaker 1 Right. That's what I mean.
It shouldn't be uncomfortable to have these conversations. Yeah.
And obviously, it's necessary because if you're not being pleasured the way that you deserve to be.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's a huge problem. Yeah.
Like for instance, pain.

Speaker 2 You're going to lay there and just be in pain? Right. Like that's horrible.
And I honestly, if a guy really like loves a woman or whatever, he's not going to want her to be in pain.

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 2 And so what I'm saying is that like, like,

Speaker 2 for instance, for us, like, that's important. You need to explain, hey, that's not okay.
That sucks. And like.

Speaker 2 That and but because we don't know right. I don't know what you like what you don't like you don't you know I'm saying yeah so it's like

Speaker 2 talk.

Speaker 2 I can't imagine, like I said, I can't imagine just laying there and just pretending your whole life.

Speaker 2 That's, dude, that is.

Speaker 2 You know, it's crazy. Go to therapy.

Speaker 2 Go to therapy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, there's a couple steerapers out there that go figure all this out.

Speaker 2 But, or maybe invite them.

Speaker 2 Why is she asking them to join or something? I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I would be like freaking out.

Speaker 2 How can you? I think that's more disturbing than the baby daddy but a friend thing. You know, I know.
Damn. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because here's my thing.

Speaker 2 One thing I also want to, when you're raising kids too, if you're, I don't know if it's people have kids, but when you're raising kids, you're also raising kids to show this is what love looks like.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Like, this is what, so being affectionate, being honest, communicating.
Like, I think that's super important. Like, when me and you hug or kiss, our kids go crazy.
Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they always want to be a part of it.

Speaker 2 The little heads poke up, like, oh, they're hugging. And they run.
Like, they, so it's like, they want to join. I think it's important for kids to like see.

Speaker 1 It's so important.

Speaker 2 That's what it's like.

Speaker 1 Because then as your kids get older, they'll realize, like, oh, my daddy never did did that to my mom, or my mom never did that to my dad, or they were very affectionate and kissed in front of us.

Speaker 1 And I think that's important for kids to see.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, you keep a G-rated, but yeah, but I was gonna say, some people are like, PD-A,

Speaker 1 no, whatever. I pecked my husband in front of my kids and hugged my husband in front of my kids.

Speaker 2 Yeah, hell on the couch. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Remember that one time when Noah had the little friend over? Yes. I was gonna say her name, but and me and you, we like kissed or whatever.
And she was like, ew. The friend was like, ew, that's gross.

Speaker 1 Noah was like, they just love each other.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they should love each other. God.
I know.

Speaker 1 Like, Aussie, she knows.

Speaker 2 We just love each other.

Speaker 2 I know. It's good.
She's cute. Because she knows.
She sees it. And the other friend probably doesn't see it.
Right. So she was like, ew, what are you doing? Right.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 She's like, you get very G-rated.

Speaker 1 It's not like I know my tongue down the throat.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Love me in front of my children. Like, no, we would G-rated.
It's like a peck.

Speaker 2 But still, you're still showing your kids like what.

Speaker 2 I mean, come on, dude. Like, that's important.

Speaker 1 So, do you have anything else that you could think to add?

Speaker 2 I mean, honestly i just feel like i like the i like that part i like the little anonymous stuff yeah i think because that stuff's like i just i then i get into loopholes and i want to know

Speaker 2 like i want to know all the details

Speaker 2 like

Speaker 1 yeah i thought that one was crazy and i told your niece about it beforehand i was like this is what i'm gonna show your uncle today when we record and she was like oh my god she's like i promise that guy i'd be like what about me yeah what about me that's what i'm saying i guess it it's one of those things though where you take it personal right?

Speaker 2 How do you not take it personal? Of course. You know what I'm saying? Of course you would take it personally.
Because then you're like, dude, I'm literally laying right here, bro.

Speaker 1 At least we never have to worry about that.

Speaker 2 Thank God. Hi-fi.
We wouldn't have been in that door. Hey,

Speaker 2 but we had to communicate. Yeah.
This never would have worked. We didn't communicate.

Speaker 1 We know, and I feel like that's any relationship. You have to talk about things.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because everyone has different preferences and what they like, what they don't like. And, you know, some people are just some crazy ass shit.

Speaker 1 Right. And some people aren't.
Some people aren't.

Speaker 2 No. Tie me up.
I'm not into that. Right.

Speaker 2 Kick me in the face. I'm not really into that bite me yeah you know it's like dude i i you know choke me it's like i want to breathe though right so i some people are just vanilla

Speaker 2 so what is what do you consider vanilla though i don't even know what you consider vanilla anymore vanilla um like what i think just like normal sex like no no bdsm you ain't taking the whips out right we ain't strandling each other yeah and i'm fine with that i give you vanilla sex all the time because honestly like dude if that's what it's considered vanilla then give me vanilla i don't know what it is but i i i don't want to be in pain no so that's where it comes right some people like

Speaker 2 i was like dude wow i mean i get it some people are like people have

Speaker 2 how did that happen to you that now now i'm curious about your past i'm like wait why do you want to be strapped to a board like the hog right and whipped and cut and shit and it turns you on yeah i'm now i have so many questions about your past and your childhood that i'm like what the fuck is happening oh my god i'm dead but honestly I do think it's one of the most important things, and I think it's something that no one should settle on.

Speaker 2 Like, you get married to someone, you know, that like your sexual compatibility should be exactly how it should be. You shouldn't settle, they shouldn't settle.

Speaker 1 Like, and then you think too about how, like, so religion and stuff is so anti-no sex before marriage. Don't live with people before you're married, and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 But then, imagine if you guys get married and you're like, oh my god, I love this guy, he's the best thing ever. And then you guys consummate the marriage that night and you're like, this sucks.

Speaker 2 Then what? Now what? I'm married.

Speaker 1 You're right. And I'm stuck with this dick dick forever.

Speaker 2 Then what do you do?

Speaker 1 And you and I have watched a few weird shows. Dude, remember, even like the one where they got married?

Speaker 2 The first kiss was at the altar. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And they were like highly religious, and it was the most awkward. They didn't even know how to freaking kiss.

Speaker 2 I guess, I guess.

Speaker 1 Imagine them having sex.

Speaker 2 Okay, I know. But I guess a part of it, I could see, like, okay, you, you, it could be a beautiful growing experience.
You grow with it together.

Speaker 2 But yo, I ain't marrying nobody if i don't know they can lay it down i'm not doing it i ain't i'm not doing it we have to know we have to know you have to know because that's what i mean could you manage to get in it and it's his little baby's like this big

Speaker 2 yeah but listen or what if she's got some like roast beef maybe some girls like them look at that i like yeah definitely average size dick all the way average size dick i wouldn't i hope my grandma doesn't listen to this that's true think about that for a second but honestly yeah because when we talk about you even i mean i was gonna say you said you take some off you would shrink it

Speaker 2 but that also goes to pain right yeah and how i i never no woman likes their cervix being slammed okay no but like honestly as but see like girls have to communicate that to us guys because you know we i will punch a motherfucker i will uppercut somebody that shit

Speaker 2 it goes to compatibility though you have to communicate yeah you do you if you never would have told me you hurt me then that would i never would have clocked that.

Speaker 2 You know, I never would have even thought to be careful and whatever.

Speaker 1 You know, I tell you all the time when you have like, you see certain women coming and be like, oh, no, I love it. It's fucking amazing.
And I'm like, you're a fucking liar. You are a liar.

Speaker 1 Because if you love that shit, something is wrong with you. You're a liar.
Lies.

Speaker 2 Lies. Because it ain't nothing ruined the mood quicker than that.
No, then

Speaker 1 you hit me and you're jammed in the service.

Speaker 2 I'm like, oh my God, dude.

Speaker 1 Hurt.

Speaker 1 Unless there are no different parts that's in the BDSM and they like the pain. I get that.
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 I don't know. That's what I'm saying.
It's a communicate, though. Maybe they like

Speaker 2 getting strapped to a

Speaker 2 no thank you i'm not trying to have a contraction thank you yeah because remember that we read that one uh me rose if you could change something physical they had to answer it and you're like i would just take an itch off yeah and i'm like well that's not what i was expecting so what the

Speaker 2 but like i said that brings up the point of like you have to communicate so that little that lady needs to communicate bro they definitely need to have a conversation even if you have to get the therapist involved to help you if you're not sure how to say you're what your needs are truly yeah, right.

Speaker 1 Getting a therapist, they have sexual therapists and stuff like that, too.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 1 or you know what, her and her husband should go on one of those, like the sex retreat cancer fucking

Speaker 2 retreat or something.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's not all about having sex, but it's about learning about each other's bodies and connecting and talking about what you like and what you don't like. There, you know, yeah, true.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that could be a really

Speaker 1 well, at least you don't ever have to, you don't ever have to worry about me mastering your hacks you like to sleep.

Speaker 2 Thank God,

Speaker 2 like, yo, my whole life would be in shambles. I wouldn't know what the fuck's going on.

Speaker 2 Who am I? Who are you?

Speaker 2 Who am I? Midland

Speaker 1 crisis.

Speaker 2 What is we doing here? Like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 So, yes, now that we're, you know, off the topic of, you know, masturbation, woohoo, way to end the show.

Speaker 2 And that's what you're going to get used to talking to us about.

Speaker 2 Like, no, bro. We just, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Like the first episode I said, it's like ADHD on crack.

Speaker 1 But again, so we do have some, after this week's episode, we have some really fun and good, interesting conversations with people coming up. Also, don't forget to like and subscribe and share.

Speaker 1 Kate and Ty Break It Down. We are on Instagram, X, Facebook, TikTok, all with the same username, Kate and Ty Break It Down.

Speaker 1 You can catch us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, anywhere that you listen to podcasts, you can find it. And just a huge thanks for the support.
And we look forward to talking to you guys next week.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you guys are great. Thank you.

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