There's Always More To The Story

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Excludes restaurants. Hey, so.
This is it. I know.
Well, I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to everybody who has liked our show, subscribed to our show, left comments, rated it, reviewed it, listened to it. The first few episodes have done very well, and it just makes us even more excited to do more, don't you think? Yeah, people still want to hear us talk after all these years.
But you know what's funny is I noticed a lot of people were saying, can we get one of just and ty by yourselves again i know i noticed that i think that's gonna end up being the more popular ones well i just figured i didn't want i feel like people already know so much about us so i was like oh i want to get guests right at first so i wanted to like feel it out i thought that was funny though and then we're thinking like they don't want to hear us talk just me and you but i do have to say the ones that have aired so far have been very fun and you know i've learned a lot from the people that we welcome to um so it's just been you know so far it's been a journey but exciting and um i'm just really i'm so thankful for the support um so if you so grateful you know if you guys can continue to like and subscribe to the show, listen to the show, you can also catch it on Patreon. The episode always drops a week later on Patreon where you can watch the full video episode.
Which I also notice a lot of people commenting saying like where's the full video? I want to watch it. I i didn't realize i didn't realize people really want to watch a podcast recording versus just listening to it from audio so we're learning we're still learning guys we are and yeah uploading the patreon has been real fun yeah but so i have been commenting to people like on our tiktoks and all that like hey you can watch it here because people have been curious about that too but I think I think this week I know that you and I wanted to jump into a little bit of we've been noticing comments of people bringing up stuff and situations and conversations that we've had in the past and like way past like we were young like kids still kids we kids.
Like we were kids. We were young at all.

I mean we were yeah 17 years old.

Yeah or 18.

Yeah so.

And I feel like.

What do you feel like though?

Do you feel like is there anything specific that you were like listen I really want to like.

I think the number one thing to me that bugs me the most is when I see people state like oh Tyler and Kim forced Caitlin into this adoption and basically basically what I get from it is like they're saying that I chose a man over my child because I was too afraid that you were going to leave and then a lot of people were pulling comment like tagging me in this TikTok clip of a conversation that we had on a hill. I think we were like 18 years old.
Oh, when I was burned. Your fedora.
Yo, don't judge me for the fedora, guys. It was a thing.
I don't know. It was a thing then.
It was, man. It was mine, yeah.
Back in the old 2000s. But it was a conversation you and I were having.

And you asked me, like,

did you ever have any fears that I would leave you

if you were to make a different decision or anything?

And so I started talking about all of my fears.

And one of my fears at that young age was like,

yes, I had a fear that if I was going to parent that child

and take that baby home,

that we would not last forever

and that we would break up eventually as a couple. I think what people are worried about though is the wording.
Right. It was like you said like, oh, I didn't want to go against your decision or I was afraid you were going to leave me if I came home from the hospital.
It wasn't like, you know, so I get why people are like saying this. I understand it.
My thing is, is when I was a child making this decision for my child, I was looking at statistics and people around me. And all of the people around me that had babies at a young age, none of those people were with the other person.
Like, look at even just, in general, statistically, people that have teen pregnancies, the couples do not last. They break up.
It's very, very rare that people will stay together after having a child at a young age. We knew that.
Yes. I mean, it was it.
So to say if that was one of my fears, absolutely. That I would mean you would end up not working out and we would have to co-parent this child.
And yes, that was a fear of mine. I didn't want my child to come into like a broken home or end up being in a broken home because you and I both experienced that too but I think people yeah they do it was like the wording and I get like watching I'm like oh yeah I understand where you would get that perception because that's that's what was said but it was more or less like I was afraid you were gonna leave me eventually I.
I was afraid. You know what I mean? Not that I'm going to leave you because if I don't do adoption.
You know what I mean? It was more or less like. And I know that you wouldn't have.
Would we have deteriorated over the months or years? I think so. Yeah.
I mean, listen, we can't go back in time and say what would have happened. But I highly assume that we wouldn't have had the freedom to go to therapy at a young age age everyone hated on us remember this yeah when we were 17 and we were like let's go to therapy my mom was like you're an idiot I can't believe you're gonna go to therapy you're only 17 what issues could you possibly have and I'm like well I did just go through this adoption uh me and my girlfriend are you know like it's a cute yeah so everyone hated on us Yeah, I you're right i think we wouldn't have been able to just emotionally and mentally grow from all of just not even the adoption trauma but just our whole childhood trauma i mean we had a lot to go through but i think the thing that makes me angry like two things i would say that make me like upset the most is that when people turn around and say oh you know you chose Ty Ty forced you to do this adoption and his mom did for one I feel like you're stripping me of the sadness and the hurt and the strength that it took for me to hand over my child that I so desperately wanted to parent I would never be that weak of a woman to choose a man over any of my children.

Even to this day, if something were to happen, I would be choosing my children.

You know what I mean?

And the other one is, is that do people not think that you wanted this child?

I mean, honestly, I personally feel like people forget that I even had.

Like emotions. Yeah, any attachment to it.
They're like, oh like oh you wanted it that's all you even wanted from the beginning and blah blah and it's like they have no clue that me and you flip-flopped our decision both of us did you wanted a parent I was like whoa and then you wanted adoption I was like maybe I want a parent because after you kind of the first time that you said you wanted a parent and I was like okay fine we'll figure this out me and mine wasn't documented that was not documented that was behind that was behind the scenes because they were they they left for like a couple weeks and i said they'll come back if anything happens because you're on labor or you're gonna be a labor watch later on but um and so when that happened and you called me and said that we're you know i want to do this i'm like all right like right. I buckled up.
I was like, we're going to go to Salvation Army, mom. I got to get all this stuff.
And what was your mom saying? And she was like, okay, okay. If that's what she wants to do, if that's what we're doing, that's what we'll do.
And I remember thinking in my head, like, all right, I'm going to go to Salvation Army. And I got like 50 bucks.
I'm going to try to find like a $5 this, a $10 that, you know. And so, but I feel like when that happened and the cameras didn't catch it, they didn't really see the back and forth and how hard it was to like be at birth dad and have to make this decision too.
Because at the end of the day, it was like, I could have wanted certain things, but you're carrying this baby. I have no control over this.
Right. Or you could have.
So, I mean. But that's what mine, like, blows my mind is for people, first of all, to think that I would choose a man over my child.
But then again, for them to just think that you have no emotions or sadness or sorrow or any want. Or that I would give you some ultimatum.
That's insane. That's sick.
That is so disturbing. And then for me to continue to stay with you over all these years and have other girls' daughters.
And I always say, if you guys really were to think that I'm that type of person, that's disgusting. Because I teach my girls completely opposite.
You know what I mean? And they know that. Like, I would never stay in a relationship and let my girls think that that would be a normal, healthy thing.
But I also noticed that the clip that they played that you're talking about tiktok where we're on the hill talking they didn't play the whole clip where i asked later on during that same conversation i talked about what i was afraid of and it was like we were literally just talking about our fears of if we decide to parent yeah which honestly producers ask us that all the time oh god you know what i'm saying remember we'd have situations but how do you think situations, but how do you think this would be, like, you know, if Carly was here? Yeah. So, and then what was that? Season four of the original? So, I mean, we were already kind of in the nitty gritty of T-Mom world.
But I think it's interesting that people would even, like, because you've even addressed this before and said that. Multiple times.
And now I've gotten to a point, like, this is my last time addressing it if you think that I am weak I guess then I guess believe whatever you want yeah but um I was telling one of my friends the other day about this situation and I said you know eventually it just gets to the point where I can say the truth and you can either believe it or not and I sleep good at night yeah I know my morals and my values I know the person that I love and I care about right and that's all that matters to me so it's like i'm sick of addressing it constantly um and so i'm just kind of like this is my last time addressing it i'm not a weak woman i tyler wanted this baby just as much as i did we both leaned on each other so much through all those emotions and the sorrow and the back and forth of planning making an adoption plan and. And I think to, to go back to like what you said to, or what we were, we were saying about how MTB didn't document that time when we flip-flopped.
And so, yeah, like I called Tyler and I was just like, I, and it was getting close to her delivery. And so we're getting really anxious.
And I was like, I don't think I can do this. I can't do this.
I want to parent her. And he was on the phone and he was just like, okay, if that's what you want to do, we will do it.
Are you sure that's what you want to do? You read the pros and cons list, remember? And I was just like, I want to do it. And, you know, also what was not shown was, you know, so it was a few weeks where I was like, okay, I'm going to parent this baby.
This is what it's going to be. Yeah.
So we're doing. we're doing and I was getting things and my you know my grandma was sending things to the house for the baby and and then one day uh my mom and I got into an argument and she looked at me and she said oh yeah well who's gonna buy your daughter diapers when she needs them and then off rip and a snap I was like oh hell no because i watched my grandmother hold things over my mom's head my whole entire life and in that moment i was like i will not have anybody look at me and say that how is your child going to get diapers when that is one of the most necessity items of having a child and when she was also preaching us like she wouldn't like the adoption she wanted to parent we'll help you we'll help you and then i remember you call me you're saying like she said she was going to help us and she just we got in one little argument it wasn't even that bad you said and she said well yeah well good luck who's going to buy you diapers and then i remember being like oh my like so are you're not going to help us like or you're only going to help us when it's convenient for you or you're holding over my head or whatever yeah and whatever.
Yeah. And so in that moment, that's when I was like, okay, no, never mind.
I have to make this decision for her because if not, my life, it's going to be things held over my head forever and ever and ever. Whenever you call me and tell me, all right, never mind.
Adoption's back on. I was like, oh, my God.
And in that moment, you're thinking like, all right, I'm going to be a dad. We're going to do this.
So was there any emotions for you in that moment when i called and was like the adoption's back on i can't do it yes were you like sad or yeah okay so part of me was like because you obviously told me that after you said your mom wasn't gonna buy us diapers or something like that i remember thinking about like damn it all right fine well we'll just you know i'll figure this out you know my mom will be there i'll get another job or whatever i was thinking of what i was gonna do do and then when you mentioned it i want to do adoption it's back on all the reasons so let's say the same because remember you mentioned to me well our pros and cons list that we made is still the same yeah nothing's changed we haven't gotten a bigger house my mom hasn't got more money i haven't so many things like nothing was changing right you know our parents were still using they were getting evicted still still going through school still going through school so like i remember when you said that and i was like all right you're right adoption's right but i feel like that two weeks that we both thought we were going to parent i mean yeah i got excited i got part of it was like accepting just the chaos all right this is my life it's gonna be chaotic whatever it's gonna be but you know i to say that i wasn't you know a little devastated when you when you called and said that would be a lie because I was. And we talked about that.
I mean, we have many times we're in the hospital even look at each other. We didn't have to say nothing.
It was like telepathic. We just knew we're both like, let's just run.
Let's just run. Yep.
Let's just run somewhere. Yeah.
Because even, yeah, even when she was born, those thoughts come. So I feel like, yeah, people had the perception that I was just for this adoption 100% all the time.
You know, no negotiations, whatever. And I get watching the clip.
It's like, oh, you said, you know, your decision. It's like, yeah, it was my decision.
But one thing you said that I love so much was you said you're just lucky I took your decision into consideration. So I don't have to not all girls do and I was like boom you know that's that's the reality you were but I'm great just and nice enough to do that but I feel like when I found out I when I found out that I was pregnant I feel like I automatically took you into consideration because I was because first of all you were a good dude a supportive dude were always there for me and I was like hey this is 50% of his baby as it is mine.
Like, I can't be the only one making all these decisions, even though I could have. You could have.
That's what I want everyone to understand, though, that you literally could have. Yes.
But you didn't. No, I don't feel like that's fair.
Unless, I mean, if you were a loser and a kid and just, like, left me, I would have been doing whatever the hell I decided to do, you know? But I think just the wording was like, oh, it was your decision, which took away the fact that, you know, it wasn't your decision.

It was all mine and whatever.

So I feel like, you know, listen, you can go back and find multiple clips where we made

mistakes or said things that were, you know, not the best or painted us in a different

light.

That's fine.

We were on TV for 16 years.

I guarantee you're going to find something, multiple things that just don't sit right with you and i also forget do they forget like we were literally growing up on television who doesn't make mistakes in their young years you know like i think honestly a lot of it the mistakes were like just from being naive like like honestly i think back about learning a lot of the the stuff that has to do with the very first time that we got in trouble with Brandon and Teresa about posting the thing about Carly. The very first boundary that I ever broke, the first and last one, in my opinion, was that one picture that I posted on that slideshow after they went on the magazine cover and after they did the adoption to do yeah so that ever so after they did the meg at the front of the magazine cover and after they did the dr drew show thing um that's when you're talking about when you made the collage of all the pictures of carly throughout the years yeah posted it on your private facebook no it was on the fan page oh was it on the yes on the fan page i don't know how many i mean it's still back then it was like instagram wasn't really a thing so it was like i think the facebook fan pages are more like popular or something back then um but yeah i was on that fan page and i did it without even thinking because all that stuff happened dr drew magazine life you know whole magazine cover um and i think what's interesting is they play this clip that was played on TV where,

um, we already got in trouble off camera.

We already got called.

We already got in trouble.

So when we had the conversation on camera about me posting that video, it was past tense.

It already happened.

So you're super emotional.

You're pregnant and you're talking to me, telling me, you know, they're going to find

out this is bad.

You know what I mean?

And it, and it comes across very, like, I'm very like I'm very like just like screw everybody. I'm doing it.
And to be honest with you, that was true when it first happened. And I those are what that's one example where I feel young and naive and I'm just just being arrogant.
And I take full accountability for being arrogant and just annoyed and feeling inferior and just all those things. And that's an honest mistake.
And I think people forget that we actually fixed that mistake, quote unquote, when we went and had the conversation with them. And we talked about it all.
And we got a lot of that conversation. And then from then on further, I would ask for permission of what pictures I could post.
And they said we could post the back of her head as long as you can't see her face. Yes.
And so that's what we did. We never posted another pic that was not approved by them.
And it was very rare that I ever even after fact posted pictures of her. It was like once every few visits I would, but it would always be the back of her head where you can't.
Because I followed their boundaries of not showing her face. And I that and I feel like they in turn gave me a little piece of like oh that makes me feel good because I can share her a little bit with the world right right um but and so yeah I feel like we came to a very good uh understanding with that yeah and I think that's what also when they mentioned to us about saying uh we don't pretty much we don't want't want to be on camera anymore.
And we were like, that's fine. And the one, you know, boundary that they said was, we don't want you repeating our conversations verbatim.
Yeah, word for word. Word for word.
Summarsation was fine. But don't repeat what we say word for word.
We said, okay, fine. They never said, stop talking about Carly.
Stop talking about the adoption. Stop all that stuff.
Keep our names out of your mouth. You know, that never happened.
They literally just said, don't post our word for word conversations or repeat the word for word conversations on camera. We didn't.
And so I feel like when people talk about these boundaries that we've supposedly broken with them, I have a hard time where they are because I'm like what I think is interesting too is that you are literally telling me what boundaries I was given as if like it's almost like okay who makes a boundary the person right and then who delivers that boundary the person delivers it to me not you so you're telling me what the boundaries were that's insane because you didn't see our private conversations that we had right off camera not even in public at all just me and you and brain trees talking so right yeah it's true and it's always been private so that's why it's funny because it's almost you know a good response to people when they say like oh you've broken boundaries but like oh so when did bring in trees to tell you our boundaries thank you when when did they that information to you? Because you're going off of what you assume. Right.
Assumptions. And that's dangerous.
And that's kind of why I feel like with this podcast, we can get into certain stuff. We can, you know, shine some more light, give some more context.
Because I do believe context is super important. Especially when you're taking old clips that are edited down and putting them all together to fit your narrative or whatever, whatever it is you're trying to prove.
So it's like, I think it's interesting when people are telling me what the boundaries are from a private conversation that I had with Brandon Teresa. That we've never even shared.
That we've never shared. Yeah.
So it's like, and also about communication. Like you don't know how often we texted on a daily basis.
You're assuming that we didn't talk a lot or you're assuming that we message every two months. Or you're assuming if it was me, I would only message maybe once, twice a year.
Well, you don't know the normalcy of our communication. You don't know.
No, you're not in my life. Exactly.
So how can you? So that's why I think though too for me, I think it's like i don't have a problem with addressing certain things but when you address things and people still don't understand or don't believe you that's when i automatically i'm like you know what fine i said my truth and i'm not going to keep going back and addressing the same issue over and over and over again and that's why i said at the end of the day i sleep great yeah listen because i know my truth my hey four plus four equals 10 for you right fine like that's where i'm at in my life equals eight for me so yeah so you know like i'm yeah but i but i also think it's like like you said to just get i'm gonna address it one time one last time and that's it i think it's important we can do that we're allowed to do that and i think it's it's it it gives clarification for people who are making all these assumptions people on tiktok making these assumptions is dangerous oh god and i think it's really needs people and i think it's hypocritical for them to go on these tiktoks and say privacy they want to be private stop talking about it you're talking about it more than i am true you're making multiple videos talking about our situation and talking about Carly's story while simultaneously preaching against us doing it right so I think that's people should really kind of self-reflect a little bit you're you're telling us certain things and you're making these videos with all these assumptions which none are verified none are I I just think it's like it's crazy I think to piggyback off that, I think one thing that I also would like to say is, you know, it goes back to people not knowing the full details of our story because things have been private. But even when Teresa said, like, I'm not going to be responding to your texts for a while, we spoke to adoptees and we got multiple adoptees and multiple adoptees told us, keep reaching out, send pictures, tag pictures along with your messages.
So that way you have receipts. You can show Carly when she's older that you did not stop.
And if her parents decide to show these to her or not, that's up to them. But at least you can go and say, I didn't stop.
I tried to send updates, all of those things. Because as birth parents, when stuff gets cut off, you don't know know what to do so i figured speaking to adoptees and other birth parents would push me in the right direction or what i should do i also feel like it's kind of a lose-lose like there's no winning because if we didn't reach out people would say you're an idiot why would you not fight for your daughter and if we do reach out they're saying stop fighting for your daughter and be quiet and silent you're hurting everybody it's like so i don't think's no, there's no winning for birth parents in this situation.
I think we just have to go off of what we know, which is like, okay, like you said, every adoptee we talked to said, I would want to know that you still tried. Yeah.
Boom. Okay.
And I had someone that said, I, you know, I wish I would have saw my, my birth parents trying that hard. Right.
No. And it's like, oh damn.
Yeah. So it's like, I mean, and honestly, you know, you said in a text message that you did, that wasn't normal text messages.
You only started addressing Carly personally on Teresa's phone after the fact of her saying, like, I'm not going to respond anymore. And you said, well, you may not be responding to me.
That's fine. But I made a promise to Carly to always reach out, give updates, pictures, letters, whatever.
So that's what I'm doing. And like you said, you can not be responding to me that's fine but I made a promise to Carly to always reach out give updates pictures what letters whatever so that's what I'm doing and like you said you can choose to not show it to her at all that's fine and you can choose also not to talk to me at all that's fine but that's also separate from my promise I made to her right and how I feel that she should you know the information she should know whatever and so I think people see the screenshots of like or the you know right it looks crazy i'm sure i get it it does but they didn't understand the backstory and you don't understand the context right so it's like yeah if you think two text messages a month is overboard or or too much or that's whatever that's that's your perception that's valid uh but like i said your perception is based off of your perception it's not based off of the normalcy no and the and uh you know track record of communication that we've always had with them you don't know those specific details so you can't really tell me that's over that's overdoing it how do you know they tell you that that's what i'm saying when did brain trees to tell you right that hey you know we only text once every five months so twice a month is too much you know I mean like you're going off of these things with with honestly I I feel like what people don't understand is that's dangerous and you're you're making these assumptions and having people on the comments and and and Carly could read these comments one day and I think people should just really just step back and think about that for a second i'm only here speaking my truth as a birth parent so that way if she does come and look for information there it is right and she has a truth but she's not going to have the truth on top of all these assumptions and these speculations and none of the none of the details none of the information the correct information a lot of it's false.
A lot of it's wrong. So like the whole thing about it being five years.
There has been the finalized paperwork for our open adoption agreement, which we have, which I don't know where it's at. But people are confused saying that the adoption was only for five years and that me and you should be grateful for anything above and beyond that.
I know, of course. And that is my thing is like, that is false.
The paperwork that you're getting the information off of was from a not finalized form of our adoption agreement when Dawn gave us that at the table. Yeah.
And that was from like way in the beginning of our us making the adoption plan yeah so and the whole five years thing was only about a picture that i wanted on her birthday specifically by herself for the first five years so that way which you never got that's by the way well we got pictures it just wasn't not like that though not the way it's fine i never argued about it i'm like whatever I never complained because I was like, listen, I'm still getting pictures. I was happy about it.

No, I get it.

But the information that they're going off of that little clause in that piece of paper

that they're zooming in from a TV show is not the finalized open adoption agreement.

We have the finalized open adoption agreement.

Yeah, it's in my email.

And it clearly states visits up until 18.

Once a year. Once a year.
Annual. A- n n u a l annual visits that is one visit per year until she's 18 right all of our signatures are on it it's all in black and white it's all there yeah but but god forbid you keep going on your little screenshot of a tv show from 10 years ago and zooming in on the little clause on adoption paperwork that wasn't the final form.
Right. No, it wasn't.
So you're making these TikToks and these damaging accusations based off of false information. Well, and it comes back to people not fully being educated about adoption and open adoption because, like we were told this whole time and this whole journey when we were making this decision for her was you know if you ever change your mind about openness or whatever during this we could don't use what we say we can pull out the bit eraser we can erase it and we can make it to however you feel and however you want it right so yes after she was born and we held her and saw her of course we thought to ourselves oh hell no this is going to be really hard i love her i want to see her i don't want to have any what ifs i want to know what she's doing and what does she look like and what is she into and so we told dawn no no no we want to switch it to open and we did yeah and and you and you and i honestly i want everyone to understand is okay.
Birth mothers are allowed to change their mind once that baby comes into the world because everything before the whole nine months of being pregnant is all speculation, wondering, not knowing what it's going to be like and how you're going to feel. Yeah.
And so I think people don't understand that during the whole adoption process, they always say, well, once the baby's born, things may be different. And they always said you could change your mind.
And I believe that every woman has a right to change her mind, especially when it comes to being a mother for the rest of your life or not being a mother. That's a huge lifelong altering decision.
So I think people don't understand that it's also not legally binding. You think this open adoption agreement is legally binding? It is not.
Well, no, but I know like in some states like California, right? You can enforce it and stuff like that too. But yeah, a lot of people, yeah, they don't.
But I think another misconception, which I think is funny that I'm seeing a lot lately. And I know that you mentioned it too.
So like my mom and I's relationship is in a better spot now than it was a year ago and like I love my mom don't get me wrong I do I love her my mom but I see a lot of people saying April was right April and Butch were right see they never should have done the adoption and I'm like do all you guys forget what you watched do you not recall all of the stuff that was happening at this house my mom was using butch was using we were moving all the time my house was in flesh vested with fleas remember johnny lega right oh my god like horrible walk in and they would jump all over you immediately my mom got arrested for drunk driving like all these things and i'm like so you think that I should have just like, yep, my mom was right. I totally should have brought a baby into that environment.
Like, what? I think it's interesting because people, like I said, people are looking at the situation 16 years down the line. Right.
Okay? So you're like, oh, watch this old clip. Oh, my God.
They were right. It's a dude.
You guys. First off, you didn't know the future and second off right they were on crack okay they're on crack and drunk and and getting evicted and getting going to jail are you guys seriously gonna tell us oh you should listen to your mom you should listen to butch in april right i'm like think about that for a second you're telling me i should have listened to butch in april 16 years ago let that sink in for a moment like it is actually mind-blowing and it's like i get what people are saying like oh well april was able to um uh you know fish out dawn or sense that adoption was wrong but i'm gonna let you guys know her intention was not to save us from being screwed by adoption her intention was to have what she thought was hers and what she thought was right.
Yeah. And what she wanted to be a grandma wanted you to be a mom.
It had no her and your dad. Yeah.
They did not try telling us. Remember your dad? He was like, I would live in a car with my dad.
And it's like, I think people are confused that, oh, they try. It's all.
No, their intention behind wanting us to keep Carly was not based off of because they thought we were going to be screwed by adoption. They could tell that adoption was a scam or whatever the case is.
They did it because of selfish reasonings, and that's the truth. Because one thing that people also don't realize is the day that we signed off our rights in court, they fought us in court.
They literally stood in the back of that courtroom and screamed that they object and they want custody of her. they wanted to fight for custody of her and i remember the judge looking and saying i see two young children standing in front of me knowing what they want for their child and he was like absolutely not i deny it i remember they had to like yeah to get the bailiff escorted yeah because your mom was mad and my dad was mad and all this other stuff but um and it's like yeah because they were on crack we're not gonna listen to and also you're fighting for custody and you're getting evicted at the same time my my so pink getting arrested for dui and you know and also people just don't they just don't know what it was like in their house on the day-to-day no they see these clips So if you see my mother and your dad acting like that on camera.

Guys. What did people think it was like all the time? Yeah.
You know? And the fact that you're saying, oh, you should listen to April and brought her back to that house. No.
Are you serious? Like you said, we can't predict the future. I can't predict the future.
Right. Of course.
I mean, I think people are saying, oh, you should have kept her. You should have parents her because we're on this TV show for 15 years and it gave us all this financial freedom and all these resources that we never would have had all.
Blah. I would say if I could go back to that 16 year old and be as wise and know all the information that I know now, I might've made a different decision, but unfortunately nobody can do that.
You don't have a crystal ball. You can't just go back in time.
But yeah, but for people to be like, April, but we're right. I'm like, huh? Like my mind, when i see that comment and all likes on i'm like are you guys for real dude you want us as 16 year olds listen to crackheads hell no that's insane bro yeah i just think it's interesting that we are even having to really go down this rabbit hole but i think it's justified because like i said real people have real uh you know consequences and things happen when you go on these videos and you make all these damaging speculations and accusations and you're fueling a fire that shouldn't even really be brewing right what's even funnier though is when you see people making these videos and they're spewing just misinformation and you reach out to those people and you're like, hey, listen, you can still not like me, but you know, you're spilling a lot of mistruth and I would like to inform you.
And then they block you, but then continue making videos about you. So you don't want the truth? No.
Isn't that weird? So weird. I'm reaching out to you personally not to, I have no.
You can still not like me. Yes, you can still not like me.
I'm not even trying to change your opinion. What I'm trying to do is give you the accurate data.
The fact. So that way, in the facts, so that way when you do make these videos, you're not spewing damaging accusations.
Right. And speculations.
Right. You actually have all the data.
Do you want the data to make better informed videos? And you go, no. I want to keep.
I'm like, what? They just blocked you. That's an answer, right? So you're like, okay, you're, you're literally, so you don't want, you don't want the data.
You don't want the truth. That's funny.
You don't want the facts. And then there's other creators who you reach out to them and they like, oh my God.
And they're like, oh yeah. And then we'll talk.
And even if they're like, well, I still don't agree, but like, you know, but. I've had a lot of them say like, you know, I still think certain things still think uh certain things i wouldn't do if i were you blah blah but i understand on a deeper level of what's going on thank you very much that's all i want it right i'm like you know i can't control um people's opinions and what they do and what videos they make but i i definitely think if you're gonna make the videos hate on me i want you to have all the accurate data yeah right to do so that way if you're hate on me, at least you're spitting fast.
Yeah, and not misinformation because it's damaging.

And we know how bad misinformation can harm stuff.

So I just feel like I think people should check their hypocrisy when it comes to making continuous videos with speculations.

I like that big word.

What?

Hypocrisy.

Oh, hypocrisy? That's a big word. What? Hypocrisy.
Oh, hypocrisy?

That's a big word.

You would have literally asked Siri to spell it for you.

Oh, for sure.

Hypocrisy.

H-I-P.

Hold on.

Go ahead.

H-I-P.

You're already.

Hip.

Hypocrisy.

H-Y?

You get hype without the E.

H-Y?

Yeah.

H-Y-P.

Hip. Whatever.
Come on. You're so close.
I'm actually getting excited. H-Y-P-R-S.
I-R-S. I-R-S.
C-Y. I don't know.
Yeah. Anyway.
So yeah. The videos people are making, it's hypocritical to preach about privacy.
That, oh, you're breaking boundaries because you keep talking about the situation. You keep talking talking about it publicly but you're literally making 10 times more videos than I've ever made in my life all the time public that's hypocritical and I think you should do some introspection on that totally agree anything else I mean honey we have a whole show that you've been talking about but I was trying to think like hey okay our whole goal of the episode was to just kind of like go through what we're seeing right now, which is a lot of turmoil.
People are very, and I also feel like these creators, once the algorithm kind of feeds that thing, now they found their niche, right? Ooh, all the other videos have 1,200 likes or 1,200 views, but this one video they made on their opinion about our adoption story got 24,000 views. So now what do they do? I hit the golden ticket.
This is my... They've done their views.
Yeah. They're like, oh my God, this is it.
So if I keep talking about the subject, I'll keep gaining all this stuff. So it's like they found their little niche.
Oh gosh, yes. Because then their video talking about us is like got hundreds of thousands of views of you right and so i feel like people are just kind of like latching onto it and running okay so i asked our followers on the kate and ty break it down instagram page and i was like drop me some of your anonymous like juicy secrets i will keep it anonymous um and so was funny.
Oh, no. Just to, like, bring it up to you and we could talk about it.
What? And I told everybody on the page. What is it? I told everybody on the page who said, you know, if it's shocking, you might end up on the podcast.
And I will totally keep you anonymous. So I want to know, do you want the one that's, like, eh, kind of spicy? Or the one that's, like, oh, shit, spicy first? I want to hit the nail on the head.
I want to, did you say spicy? Like, shocking. Okay, so a little shocking.
Like, okay, what do you do in this situation? Or like, really shocking. Okay, all right, all right.
I'm ready, I'm ready. Which one should you do first? The really shocking one.
The really shocking one? No, no, actually, let's just go from the bottom up. Okay, so I got one, which is from a fan of ours, Anonymous.
Anonymous fan. Secret, Yeah.
Secret. And it said, I slept with my younger brother's best friend and it was fire.
I slept with my younger brother's best friend and it was fire. I have so many questions.
What are the ages? How far apart are they? Oh, right. Are you literally like adults? Yeah, I would hope so.
Are you? I don't know. I mean.
So if somebody were to like one of your friends sleep with your sister, how would you feel about that? I would want to know. You wouldn't want to know? I don't want to know.
I don't want to know. I mean, sure.
Like your best friend? My best friend? Hey, man, listen, keep it to yourself, homie. I don't want to know about you.
Hell no. Then what happens if they ended up like being together? Yeah.
Well, then we have to have a conversation. But if you're just boinking and boinking once in a while, whatever.
I don't even know about that shit. But I mean, you know what I'm saying? Like, hey, whatever.
I mean, but yeah, I mean, what the hell? Yeah. So I was like, I just let out, you know, I'm not really sure what I would do in that situation.
Like, what if, so if somebody was sleeping with my sister and it was my best friend, say, I don't know, what if he was like a really good dude and really loved my sister? I mean, eventually, I guess I'd probably get over it. Like, if they ended up being together and stuff like that.
Would you be mad at first? Maybe I might feel a little not like mad, but like, ew. You know what I mean? Like, ew, you slept with my sister.
You're nasty. Maybe like if my best friend Sam slept with my sister Sarah back in the day or something when they ended up together i'd be like ew that's disgusting i don't okay i don't want to know about that shit right now if you want a date we obviously have to have a conversation because guys who's gonna be at thanksgiving yeah you are so we gotta talk yeah you have to at that point hey you're just hooking up hell no okay so this one i was like ty will get a kick out of this one.
I know you have a lot to say. Oh, my God.
Really? I'm like, oh, God. I'm nervous, excited.
Okay, so this is from another person on the Kate and Ty Break It Down Instagram page. And they said, I masturbate while my husband's sleeping.
Oh, whoa. What the fuck? Yeah, she masturbates while her husband is sleeping next to her why my question is like what's going on that's what i'm saying i listen so what what would your reaction be give me any of this i don't any more i need more information i need more details because i like dude what the fuck what would your reaction be if you literally woke up in the middle of the night to me masturbating next to you I would be like yo I'm right here you got problems it might not what's wrong with me that's what I'm thinking I guess yeah I think what what what's wrong with me is there no one and so I think if this person hears this like I wonder if you know you're not you and your husband need to have like you better You better vocalize.
Or just have a conversation about what you like, what you don't like, if he's not pleasing you in the bedroom. You know what I mean? Because that's crazy.
I couldn't imagine, like, waking up. Bro.
And you're, like, jerking your chicken next to me. I would be mortified.
Would you be pissed? Yes. Yeah, because I feel like, and I don't know if that, does that mean, what is it? I don't know if that means, the fact that I'd be pissed, but I think it'd be more or less like what's wrong with you and what's wrong with us.
Right. What's going on? Right.
My body's right here. Right.
I think that plays into showing that like there's more issues going on. Right? Yeah.
Because you're not speaking. Yeah.
You're just masturbating while I'm sleeping. Yo, don't do it.
Yo, we're in the same bed. What's What's going on? Literally masturbating while sleeping next to one another.
I would be pissed. Yeah.
And I don't know what that means about me. I don't know what that means about me.
I'd be pissed. I think the anger would be.
Hurt? Yeah. Yeah.
Because you're like. Or, and it would be like, am I not doing enough for you? Am I not good at it? Am I not, you know, am I doing stuff that.
Obviously, you ain't doing something doing something right if she's been just laying right next to you yeah is there something i could do differently that is so wackity dackity i'm like there needs to be a conversation had okay well i also feel like though when people say oh how do you make it last so long oh how are you so happy and it is sex people don't they don't put that i'm not saying all that no it's very high well i was gonna say successful back that though is like but you have to have conversations about sex i mean how am i gonna know what you like if you don't tell me right vice versa right right but i think when people ask oh what is it it's like communication which involves talking about sex communicating about what you like what you don't. And vice versa.
So like when I say communicate and then I say sex and honesty, loyalty, like those are all things that are like, that's what makes things last. And also being honest.
You have to be honest. I am not protecting your feelings and I don't want you protecting mine.
I am responsible for protecting my feelings vice versa. In a respectful way.
Well, I'm not going to talk about her stupid bitch. I'm not going to be like.
Right. You're not going to respect that about her.
respectful way well i'm not gonna start stupid bitch i'm not gonna be like right you know you're not gonna respect that about her but like i'm not but when i tell you things i'm not thinking about i'm not worried about oh my god i don't want to hurt things i have to be honest well you want to portray about how you're really feeling yeah and so and if my honesty creates a response in you where i have to apologize for. That's a little different.

But I'm not – my intention going into it is not to – Protect you.

No, my intention is honesty.

Right.

This is how I really feel.

So she needs to just be honest and say you're not doing something, Brian.

Listen, I'll be honest with you.

I don't know what guy this girl is married to or whatever, but there are so many books out there.

And I highly suggest reading them all because – Or just like slip a few on the bed for him to read what bed or um uh books yeah give him some books yeah i mean that's what i'm saying though but i also feel like dudes read the books bro read all the books read talk communicate with your partner whatever i mean literally i had to kate didn't even know all the parts of her lady parts i had to explain all yeah i don't know what that is i'm like that's a majora minor that's your you're like what so it's like yeah get educated bro like damn that's what i mean there needs to be a conversation had wow um wow i guess my thing, how do people not conversate about it?

Like, how do you not have conversations about it?

I don't know.

You just lay there and pretend your whole life that this is great.

Why would you do that to yourself?

And then there's one where I'm like, this is a sticky situation.

I'm not sure who my baby daddy is to my second child, my husband's or a friend of mine.

So. Like, does this husband think that this baby is his how old is this baby and she is saying that she doesn't know if it's the husband or her friend or her friends well i think it's time to find out i know right get a dna test well and you think about yeah because you think because the friend knows and you know you don't i mean don't involve the husband if you don't have to i guess at this point because i'm not sure when this happened or they broke i don't you know well right but my thing is is like so you have this baby whatever you don't know if it's your husband's or your friends but if your husband is just going along and thinking this is his baby and then finds out he's not yeah that's very like you might as get the hurt over with now my god dude that because to prolong it and then him leave anyways or be obviously be upset anyways like i'll tell what i'm saying yeah you and the friend you and the friend do a d-day need to do a thing together say listen i gotta make sure and that's yeah and then you then then that result will open up other bridges or it might close it off and be like cool we don't have to do nothing right we're gonna worry about don't have to worry about nothing because it's actually my husband's.
And then we just kind of. Yeah.
But then God, could you imagine going to sleep at night, holding that secret? Oh, what secret? That like I cheated on my husband and my friend. I know what it's different than holding a baby saying, this ain't your baby.
Oh, I know. Both of them are bad.
Both of them are bad. I think I'd pick the other one.
Like where, I mean, you don't have to. People, man.
Dude, it is. Shock me.
Yeah, that's. You know? That is insane.
But that one, the one of the girls saying that she masturbates next to her husband while he's sleeping. I'm fast.
That blew my mind. I'm actually feel really bad for her and him.
Yeah, both of them. I really do.
I feel bad for both of them. I don't know why they're not communicating, but they need to.
Because that's something I mean you're really good at. Like you say what you don't like.
I say what I don't like and that's it and you take you know what i mean like i feel guys just read books there's so many books out there just read the books and you'll be and like i said just like have a conversation about sex even if you know it's not and it shouldn't be and it shouldn't be uncomfortable to have conversations with your partner it is that problem in my opinion right right that's i mean it shouldn't be uncomfortable to have these conversations yeah and obviously it's necessary because if you're not being pleasured the way that you deserve to be yeah it's a huge problem like for instance pain wouldn't you're gonna lay there and just be in pain right like that's horrible and I honestly if a guy really like loves a woman or whatever he's not gonna want her to be in pain no no and so what I'm saying is that like like for instance for us like that's important you need to explain hey that is not okay that sucks and like that but because we don't know right I don't know what you like what you don't you know what I'm saying yeah so it's like you have to talk. I can't imagine, like I said, I can't imagine just laying there just pretending your whole life.
Dude, that is... Go to therapy.
Go to therapy. There's a couple of therapists out there that will figure all this out.
Or maybe invite them. Why is she asking to join us? I don't know.
I be like freaking out. I think that's more disturbing than the baby daddy, my friend thing.
I know. Damn.
Yeah. Because here's my thing.
One thing I also want to, when you're raising kids too, if you're, I don't know if it's people have kids, but when you're raising kids and you're also raising kids to show this is what love looks like. Yeah.
Like this is what, so being affectionate, being honest, communicating. Like I think that's super super important like when me and you hug or kiss our kids go crazy yeah they always want to be a part of it they like the little heads poke up like they're hugging and they run like they so it's like they want to join i think it's important for kids to like see it's so important that's what it's like because then as your kids get older they'll realize like oh my daddy never did that to my mom or my mom never did that to my dad or they were very affectionate and kissed in front of us and i think that's important for kids to see yeah but also keep a g-rated but yeah but i was gonna say some people are like pda you know whatever i peck my husband in front of my kids and hug my husband in front of my kids yeah hello my cow yeah shit no my ass my house remember that one time when noah had the little friend over? Yes.
I'm not going to say her name, but, and me and you, we, like, kissed or whatever, and she was like, ew.

The friend was like, ew, that's gross.

And it was like, they just love each other.

Yeah, they just love each other.

God.

I know.

I'm like, I see.

She knows.

We just love each other.

It's so good.

I know.

Ew.

Because she knows.

She sees it.

Yeah.

And the other friend probably doesn't see it.

Right.

So she was like, ew, what are you doing? Right. I don't know.
Something more different. I't know i'm like you're very g-rated it's not like i'm shoving my tongue on the throat or yeah yeah love me yeah in front of my children like no we give g-rated it's like a peck you know still you're still showing your kids like what i mean come on dude like that's important so do you have anything else that you could think to add i mean honestly i just feel like i like the i like that part i like the little anonymous stuff yeah i think because that stuff's like i just i then i get in the loopholes i want to know like i want to know all the details yeah like good like yeah i thought that one was crazy and i told your niece about it before and i was like this is what i'm gonna show your uncle today when we record and she was like oh my oh my God.
She's like, if I was that guy, I'd be like, what about me? Yeah. What about me? That's what I'm saying.
I guess it's one of those things, though, where you take it personal, right? How do you not take it personal? Of course. You know what I'm saying? Of course you take it.
Because then you're like, dude, I'm literally laying right here, bro. At least we never have to worry about that.
Thank God. High five.
We went in that door. Hey.
But we had to communicate. Yeah.
This never would have worked. We had to communicate.
We don't. I feel like that's any relationship.
You have to talk about things. Yeah.
Because everyone has different preferences and what they like, what they don't like. And, you know, some people are doing some crazy and shit.
Right. And some people aren't.
Some people aren't. It's vanilla.
Tie me up. I'm not into that.
Right. Kick me in the face.
I'm not really into that. Bite me.
Yeah. You know, it's like, dude, I, you know, choke me.
It's like, I want to breathe though. Right.
Some people are just vanilla. Yeah.
What do you consider vanilla though? I don't even know what you consider vanilla anymore. Vanilla? Like what? I think just like normal sex.
Like no, no BDSM, you ain't taking the whips out. We ain't strangling each other.
Yeah, and I'm fine with that. I give you vanilla sex all the time.
Because honestly, like, dude. If that's what, it's considered vanilla, then give me vanilla.
I don't know what it is, but I don't want to be in pain. No.
So that's where it comes out. Some people are like, dude, wow.
I mean, I get it. Some people are like, how did that happen to you? Now I'm curious about your past.
I'm like, dude, wow. I mean, I get it.
Some people are like. People have different preferences.
How did that happen to you? Now I'm curious about your past. I'm like, wait, why do you want to be strapped to a board like the hog? Right.
And whipped and cut and shit. And it turns you on.
Yeah. Now I have so many questions about your past and your childhood.
What the fuck is happening? Oh, my God. I'm dead.
But honestly, I do think it's one of the most most important things i think it's something that no one should settle settle on like you get married to someone you know that like your sexual compatibility should be exactly how it should be you shouldn't settle they shouldn't settle like and then you think too about how like so religion stuff is so anti no sex before marriage don't live with people before you're married and stuff like that but then imagine if you guys get married and you're like oh my god i love this guy he's the best thing ever and then you guys consummate the marriage that night you're like this sucks then what now what i'm married you're right and i'm stuck with this dick forever then what do you do and you and i have watched a few weird shows dude remember even like uh The one where they got married. The first kiss was at the altar.

Yes.

Dude.

And they were like highly religious.

And it was the most awkward.

They didn't even know how to freaking kiss.

I guess.

I guess.

Imagine them having sex.

Okay.

I know.

But I guess a part of it.

I can see like.

Okay.

You.

It could be a beautiful.

Right.

Growing experience.

You grow with it together.

Yes.

But yo.

I ain't marrying nobody.

If I don't know they can lay it down. I'm not doing it.
I ain not doing it. We have to know.
We have to know. You have to know.
That's what I mean. Could you imagine you get in it and it's his weebies like this thing? Yeah, but listen.
Or what if she's got some, like, roast beef lip? Maybe some girls like the lip. I like an average, yeah, definitely.
Average size dick all the way.

Average size dick.

I hope my grandma doesn't listen to this. That's true.

Think about that for a second.

But honestly,

yeah, because when we talk about you, I mean,

I was going to say, you said you take some off.

You would shrink it. It's good.

But that also goes to pain, right?

Yeah. And how would, I never...

No woman likes their cervix being slammed. I know, but honestly, but see, girls have to communicate that to us guys because we grew up...
Oh, I will punch a motherfucker. I will uppercut somebody.
That shit is so dope. It goes to compatibility, though.
You have to communicate. Yeah, you do.
If you never would have told me you hurt me, then I never would have clocked that. I never would have even, I never would have even thought to be careful.
And what do I tell you all the time? When you have like, you see certain women come and they're like, Oh no, I love it. It's fucking amazing.
And I'm like, you're a fucking liar. You are a liar.
Because if you love that shit, something is wrong with you. You're a liar.
Lies, lies. Cause ain't not ruin the mood quicker than that.
No, then you hit, you hit me jammed in the cervix. I'm like, Oh my God like oh my god it hurts unless there are no different parts that's in the BDSM and they like the pain I guess that's what I'm saying I don't know that's what I mean it's a communicate though maybe they like like I said getting strapped to a no thank you I'm not trying to have a contraction thank you yeah cause remember we read that one on me where it was they could change something physical they had to answer it and you were like I would just take an inch off yeah and i'm like well that's not what i was expecting so what the fuck but like i said that brings up the point of like you have to communicate so that little that lady needs to fucking communicate but they definitely need to have a conversation even if you have to get a therapist involved to help you if you're not sure how to say what your needs are yeah right getting there they have sexual therapists and stuff like that too and or you know her and her husband should go on one of those like the sex retreat to answer fucking where it's not like all about yeah it's not all about having sex but it's about learning about each other's bodies and connecting and talking about what you like and what you don't like there yeah true yeah that could be really yeah there you.
Well, at least you don't ever have to worry about me masturbating next to you. Thank God.
My whole life would be in shambles. I wouldn't know what the fuck's going on.
Who am I? Who are you? Who am I? What is this? What is we doing here? What the fuck? So yeah, it's now that we're off the topic of masturbation you know masturbation way to end the show um but and that's what you're gonna get used to talking to us like no bro we just i don't know like the first episode i said it's like adhd on crack um but again so we do have some after this week's episode we have some really fun and good interesting conversations with people coming up also don't forget to like and subscribe and share Kate and Ty break it down we are on Instagram X Facebook TikTok all with the same username Kate and Ty break down you can catch us on Spotify Apple podcasts anywhere that you anywhere that you listen to podcasts, you can find it. And just huge thanks for the support, and we look forward to talking to you guys next week.
Yeah, you guys are great. Thank you.
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