Skids+ (Adam Scott, Dan Gregor, Doug Mand)

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So, um, I was just parking my car, and then I saw you, a Gecko, huge fan.

I'm always honored to meet fans out in the wild.

The honor's mine.

I just love being able to file a claim in under two minutes with the Geico app.

Well, the Geico app is top-notch.

I know you get asked this all the time, but could you sign it?

Sign what?

The app?

Yeah, sure.

Oh, that means so much.

Oh, it rubbed off the screen when I touched it.

Could you sign it again?

Anything to help, I suppose.

You're the best.

Get more than just savings.

Get more with Geico.

If I could save time in a bottle, my roommate Gary would probably drink it without asking me.

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.

Hmm, interesting.

Thanks to J-Man the Great for that catchphrase submission.

Catchphrase superstar, J-Man the Great, and welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week.

We, I believe, we are at the end of the throes of Auggie Doggy here.

Last week of Auggie Doggy.

And

my name is Scott Auckerman.

We have a great one today.

Coming up a little later, we have a concerned citizen.

We also have an heir

spelled H-E-I-R.

So that is very,

this is an incredible show.

But I've said it before, and I'll say it again, stars are back on Comedy Bang Bang.

Boy, it was really tough during both COVID and the strike.

No one would come on the show, but now stars are back.

Of course, we love our movie stars.

Those are number one.

Underneath them, we have TV stars.

Underneath that, we have

a comedian with a special.

Underneath that, author.

Then we'll take a podcaster.

And

our next guest has straddled at least four of those five.

Among other things.

Other things you've straddled?

Yeah.

He is, I think, a bona fide movie star.

You don't do a little film called Madame Webb without...

That sealed it, I think.

I think you're right.

I hadn't really put that one together, but yeah.

I think you'll be getting those hands in front of the Chinese theater, don't you think?

But instead of hands, just like spider claws.

Okay, I'm worried that you did that whole movie thinking Spider-Man has claws.

Isn't he the clawed caped crusader?

Isn't that...

No, he doesn't have a cape.

He doesn't have claws.

I think you're thinking of a cross cross between batman and wolverine hmm but now you are not a superpowered character you were uncle ben that was the big reveal

that's right you're you're canonically in the mcu uncle ben

i guess so but i don't think it ended up that was what

it was yes but then you were all tricked into being in this movie thinking it was the mcu but then you got there on set one day and they were like oh by the way no this is just sony no no no

when i saw it they had taken out there wasn't any reference to uncle ben or anything so you never said like i don't did you see it hey has anyone seen my nephew around here right well the end of the movie i've seen it yes okay so the end of the movie is

spider-man being born right uh yeah i believe that uh uh we there's a long birth scene where you see the vagina and it comes out of it and it's about like 35 minutes tacked on during the credits They don't go, hey, it's Peter Parker or anything, right?

So none of it's clear.

But your name is Parker in it, is it not?

Or do they just call you Ben the whole time?

I don't know.

I have no idea.

How many times have you seen this film?

I saw the film once.

The musical.

Should I have seen it more?

But I saw Spider-Man turn off the dark.

Oh, see, I get the two mixed up.

Of course, that's the musical, of course, that you saw many, many times on Broadway.

Many times.

And you were there every single time a Spider-Man died, isn't that right?

Every single time.

How many times did a Spider-Man?

I think it got up to 38, and then they were like, we got to cancel this show.

It's a lot.

It's a high

count.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I saw Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark half of once,

but boy, it was fantastic.

That half, which half did you see?

Did you see the first act or act two, or did you come for the last half of act one and the first half of act two?

I saw the the second half of act one, the third quarter of act two.

Okay.

And then I love coming in act three.

I like seeing the first eighth and the seventh eighth.

Oh,

that is brilliant.

So it equaled out

just doing the math here to half of once.

Half of once, yeah.

It was credible.

An incredible show and a privilege to be there within the Marvel universe playing the canonically dead uncle.

But also, I was in the MCU playing audience member in Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark.

That's right, yes.

He also is in such films as Torque,

Piranha Three Dimensions,

what else you got?

Oh, the aviator, Martin Scorsese.

How great would it have been if it was called Piranha Three Dimensions?

Three Dimensions.

And he,

so that's movies.

He also is a podcaster.

Yeah.

Listen,

it's nothing to

nothing to sneeze at.

Sneeze at.

If you're going around sneezing at things, you sneeze on me and sneeze all over my podcast.

I'm going to fucking kick your ass.

I heard you were on Amy Poehler's show the other day, which was inexplicably voted by Time magazine as one of the top 100 podcasts of all time, even though she's she's been doing it for about three episodes.

Did you get jealous when I popped up on Amy's podcast?

I did, and I was like, you know, I've been chasing you for a while.

Now, canonically within the

Comedy Bang Bang universe, you were supposed to be on the week severance season two came on.

That's right.

And I'll introduce you in a second.

Yeah, Zach Cherry and you are going to be here.

We have,

we could go to our texts if you want, the texts of us being like,

this is fine, right?

We can,

it's just a little smoke.

Basically, Basically what happened was the LA fires broke out the day before you were supposed to do the show.

And we were like, oh, this is fine.

This is fine.

And then the morning of Zach backed out and said,

hey, I can't do that show anymore.

I'm getting the fuck out of California.

I'm leaving.

And then I texted you and said, hey, Zach backed out.

Do you still want to do it?

And you just wrote back, oh, no, I totally forgot I was even going to do that.

I did.

Yes.

And then I wrote to Zach, I said, Adam forgot he was doing it.

And Adam goes, no, he told me he was backing out.

That's why I backed out.

What is the real story?

Is that really what happened?

That is really what happened.

This has all been discussed on Scott Hasn't Scene when Zach was on recently.

Oh, really?

Yes.

I want to hold your feet to the fire on this because you can't just say, like, oh, I forgot.

And then, meanwhile, you're doing

side channels, back channels with Zach Cherry.

Yeah.

Let me kind of untangle my web of lies here.

Your damn web.

Clearly.

My damn web.

I do know that by by the time

we were discussing it, it was the fires were kicking into gear.

Yeah, high gear.

And my

in-laws lost their house.

That's right, yes.

So I was

probably in the midst of that and not.

I think they didn't.

If I can review the timeline a little bit, I believe your in-laws did not lose their house until two hours after our recording would have ended.

Oh, wait, let me check my timeline here.

Okay, wait.

5 a.m.

So, 4 a.m.

Oh, my God.

You're right.

Yeah, I think you just.

I'm just, you just, you just caught me.

I caught you in a lie.

And why would you lie to a good friend?

Well, here's the thing: is that I didn't want Zach to do your show.

This makes more sense.

I know.

Yeah.

I was worried about it too.

But then he was like, oh, I'm going to come with Adam.

And I checked with you.

I was like, Adam, is Zach coming with you?

And you were like, I guess.

Yeah.

But wait, you're saying that Zach did a different show of yours?

He did a different one.

Yes.

But I have prevented him from doing this show.

Yes, he's never, and it's his dream to do this show, and he still has never done this.

I don't want Zach to achieve any of his dreams.

I hope he doesn't.

I really, I truly do.

Thank you.

So it's two of us now.

Yeah.

Okay.

We're a unified front against Zach Cherry.

So you are a podcast.

By the way, you were on Amy's show and you were, she brought up the fact that you had a podcast with me.

Uh-huh.

And and almost in a derisive way, really,

wasn't it?

I don't think so.

She said, Remember when you had that podcast about you two with Scott Ackerman, almost in a making fun of you way?

What,

what's that?

What's all I don't think so?

I don't think that's the way she was bringing it up at all.

All right.

Well, still, kudos to her for having one of Time's top 100 podcasts of all time.

Absolutely.

So he's a podcaster.

He's a movie star, but most importantly,

he's also a a comedian with a special you had uh you've had two hour specials two what two two hour specials i'm i'm the only sorry that's right so i i have when i do a special it's two solid hours not including credits not including credits

last for half about half hour yeah or something and it's only half comedy yeah well the the other part of it is you do your first hour then you just repeat the jokes i repeat the jokes but dramatically yeah and then all the credits that roll at the end i say them out loud.

Right.

Just to fill some time.

Because I'm telling you, if it's a two-hour special, you get paid Bucco Dolores.

That's right.

I think you get paid one and a half times

what you get for a one-hour special.

It's like golden hour overtime.

Exactly.

So he's a movie star, TV star, comedian with a special.

He's also a podcaster, not an author yet, but you're working on something you were telling me.

I am.

I am.

I'm working on a tome of sorts.

uh i'm gonna leave it at that well done well done yes thank you thank you thank you is this historical fiction what what genre possible at some point i would love for you to uh to read the galleys is that uh

well well well do you want me to write an introduction or perhaps a blurb no okay

yeah why do you want me to read the galleys

never mind i'll read i mean i'll i'm i'm an available

tech avail okay great it would be great if you could just take

i'd I'd love to read the galleys.

You did blurb the comedy bang bang book.

Oh, I sure did.

Which was quite a thrill for the fans.

Oh, yeah.

But most importantly, right now, he is a TV star.

A full-on TV star.

Thank you.

Who is nominated for one of those golden guys or girls?

One of those

big boys or girls.

Mm-hmm.

Holding the big

What is that?

Like a globe or what?

They have wings in there.

What are they supposed to be?

You have some sitting upstairs in your house.

No, they're right there.

They are.

Really?

Oh, shit.

There they are.

But

what are they supposed to be?

I think that's a woman, isn't it?

Sure is.

I mean, those big natties sort of suggest it.

But you're vying for a couple, right?

Here in just a couple of weeks,

a little show called the Emmy Awards, the Primetime Emmy Awards, is coming up.

People are voting for it right now.

He is nominated for a couple of, you got a couple of noms, and the show, Severance, is nominated for a record-breaking 27 nominations.

Is that a record?

I just said record-breaking, realized that it could.

I don't know, but let's just say it.

It's more than 26.

Not as much as 28.

It's just right.

It is just right there in the sweet spot.

That's right.

Please welcome back to the show, Adam Scott.

Hey, Scott.

How are you, man?

Great.

Great to have you.

Thanks.

Now, Severance, people are voting for it right now.

The nominations have already been announced.

You're nominated for best lead actor, best lead actor, or just most lead actor?

Most lead actor.

That's right.

And you also, you're a producer on the show, Severance, right?

So do you get one of the awards if it wins TV show i believe that's how it works

i just didn't know whether executive producer or producer executive producer you're executive producer what do you what are your duties did you just say do you just call me duty

what

what what what what are your responsibilities well on the show in terms of executive producing because i know you show up and you act yeah yeah yeah i do uh acting work on the show but also um we we work in new york that's where we shoot the show oh okay so i don't know if you know in new york City,

if you're working,

say you're working maintenance at a tennis court.

Sure.

Let's say you're working an office job on Wall Street.

Sure.

Oh, my gosh.

Financial district.

Oh, my God.

That would be the dream.

Bowling the bear.

Right?

Yep.

Say you're working there, just an office job.

Or you're one of the big boys.

You're one of the titans of industry.

Maybe you're working in a Broadway theater.

Sure, why not?

Maybe you're a plumber.

Maybe Maybe you're a plumber just scraping shit out of toilets.

In a theater on the Great White Way.

That's right.

Just like cleaning toilets for Andrew Lloyd Weber when he just destroys one.

That's right.

Which happens all the time.

No matter what your job is, if you're in New York City, there's always a little cleanup to do.

So I come in in the morning before everyone gets there, like 3, 4 a.m.

Now, this is the city that never sleeps, but that's a misnomer because New York is actually shut down between 2.30 and 3.30 a.m.

Everything shuts down.

They turn the power off.

Right.

So once 3 o'clock hits,

my alarm goes off because I set my alarm for the moment the power comes back on.

Oh, okay.

So I'm up at 3.

You're up at 3.

And I zoom right over as fast as I can to where we shoot the show.

Okay.

And I just start sweeping up.

I start vacuuming.

So you do a sweep and a vacuum.

I do a sweep and then a vacuum and then sweep again.

Okay.

Boy, you're really thorough.

You gotta, it's gotta be clean.

Right.

Because

you don't want a dusty set for Zach Cherry.

Zach Cherry comes in.

He's like, he rubs his finger along my face.

So he's white gloving your face?

My face.

Wow.

And I'm like, bro, I just cleaned every surface in this place, including my face.

Wow.

And if it's not spick and span, you know, you're in deep shit.

Yeah, yeah.

So you do that every day you shoot.

Every day.

Well, and that's, that's one of my responsibilities.

I mean, that deserves an Emmy right there.

Thank you.

Yeah, that's incredible.

I had no idea.

And then I start acting.

Oh, okay.

And when do you stop acting?

Well, that's for me to know and for you to find out, Scott.

Because, by the way, Adam, I have famously never watched your show.

Yeah, I was wondering if you'd seen it by now.

I haven't seen you in like a year or two.

I am here to announce.

Yeah.

Last night I watched two episodes.

You did?

That's right.

Now, which two episodes?

I watched the first and the last.

Okay.

Perfect.

Because for the Emmys, you're not allowed to vote for someone.

You're finally up for lead actor.

You're not allowed to vote for a show or an actor if you haven't seen the show.

That's right.

So I went ahead and I watched two episodes last night.

And I'm here to tell you I am not voting for you.

Well,

that actually makes me feel good.

You know why?

Because

I want you to make an informed, educated vote.

That's right.

And I wish you were voting for me.

Sure.

I do.

I'm going to be honest.

As a friend, I wish I was voting for you.

Right.

Because I know you care.

I'm not voting as a friend.

Like best friend.

Sure.

I would vote for you every single time.

Absolutely.

But we're not, that's not the game we're playing.

No, no, no, no.

That's not what you're voting for.

No, I'm voting for acting skills.

And I respect that.

Thank you so much.

It saddens me.

I'm just going to be honest.

Sure.

It saddens me as a a friend, but also it saddens me that you watch the show and you think that I'm coming up short.

You know what?

I just feel like you could give, you're giving 100%.

I wish you would give 110%.

I get that.

Yeah.

I 100% get that.

Again, I wish you 110% got that.

Okay.

Let's say.

I 115% get that, that I'm not giving over 100%

in my work, or as far as your perception goes.

And I'm going to say, again, that hurts my feelings.

I expected it would.

Of course, because we're friends.

But you know what?

Also, transparency and honesty is what comedy bang bang is all about.

I know.

And I just felt like I had to tell you.

Every time I come and sit down in this chair and feel my buns up against this fabric.

By the way, the sun is out and your buns are out.

You know that famous phrase, sun is out.

Sun out, buns out.

Sun is out, buns are out.

Yeah, that's on the t-shirt you're wearing, weirdly.

Exactly, yes.

Um, so I, I, I appreciate the honesty, I guess, is what I'm saying.

No problem, no problem.

But I, you know what?

I gotta say, I'd been, oh, I didn't want to watch a show because Apple TV Plus, you know, we've, we've talked about it, it's so expensive, and it can run you anywhere from, you know, some people, some people were like early adopters and they got in there and they're like, oh, I'm only paying $100 a month.

But it can run you between like $250,000,

like up to a thousand sometimes some people are paying five thousand dollars a month for Apple TV plus for Apple TV plus yeah, it's it's the most expensive streaming service that's out there.

It's like nine ten dollars

I don't think so but also if you like buy a phone you get it free for a year

Yeah, isn't that how it I think so but what I'm supposed to pay I'm supposed to buy a new phone to watch your show like this is just too complicated can I just turn on the tube the boob tube who do you and my friend Adam's there on it on the TV there?

Who do you write a check to when you're paying for your streaming services?

I have a friend who comes by and hooks everything up, and he tells me the prices.

Oh, okay.

You don't need anything.

I want to meet this guy.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

He's at the door, I believe.

He is.

Yeah, let him in.

Hey, yeah, come on in.

Hi.

Hey, what's going on?

What is your name, sir?

Rochester?

Rochester.

Okay.

Not Rochester.

Raw Chester.

rochester so it's like chester but you're raw rochester raw chester rochester rochester rod chester oh rod chester i'm hey what's up mr chester what's up jerky

okay are you one of the jerky boys

let me just get this straight are you one of the jerky boys i'm one of the jerky boys jerky oh act okay scott sorry yeah what's up this is an honor this is rod rod chester he's for where are you from sir rochester

wait okay so your name is Rod Chester, and you're from Rochester?

Rochester.

Okay, now you're just saying...

Turkey?

All right.

You're frustrated to talk to.

Well, wait a second.

He's gone?

Okay.

Sorry, Scott.

Did you say what you needed to say to him?

I didn't have time to solve your streaming problem.

In any case, I don't, you know, I didn't want to watch his show, but I turned it on last night.

Right as the Sandman came and sprinkled his little sand all over my eyes and I was drifting off to sleep.

I was like, no, belay that Sandman.

I want to watch this show.

I want to keep my eyes open and I want to watch this show.

And I tell you, I was captivated.

Oh.

Your character, whatever his name might be,

and then all the other characters, whoever they were.

Sure.

And then that part where the first scene suddenly turned into

me talking to my mom and and having an argument with her and

and and then she turned into a like a hairy ogre and then that like morphed into like

I could tell that you know she wasn't my mom anymore right and

but she represented my mom but she you know okay Scott I think you may have dozed off while watching what's this now the show you You may have fallen asleep.

I think you were.

My mom is not in your show?

As far as I know, she's not in the show.

You must have just been dreaming.

This makes more sense.

Because I've been sitting here going, like, why isn't my mom nominated for all these Emmys?

Right.

Because she was great in your dreams.

She was phenomenal.

I mean, honestly, you were fine, but she was like tearing it up.

But don't you think it would have come up if your mom was a cast member of the show I'm on?

I guess so.

Although, you you know, like, there's so much left unsaid between us.

You're right.

You know, in any case, this was a phenomenal show.

I was really engaged.

But not enough to throw a vote my way, I guess.

That's all right.

You know what?

I still haven't voted.

You could make a difference here.

And this is why you're on the show, by the way.

You want to let everyone know that

Television Academy, how does Joe Q Public, how does Joe the Plumber

remember that guy?

Oh, do I?

Remember Remember him?

How does he vote for you for the Emmys?

Well, so what you're saying is essentially, I'm here courting your vote.

Not only my vote, but America's vote.

The vote of Joe the Plumber.

That's right.

You know how the Dallas Cowboys are America's team?

Oh, yeah.

I like to view you as America's actor.

Oh, thanks.

You know, one where, you know, you don't have to be from Hollywood.

You don't have to be from Santa Cruz.

Right.

You don't have to be a candy boy in order to

vote for Adam.

This is what, like, something all peoples and all states can come together and decide like this is our actor.

This is who we stand behind.

It's America coming together and voting for their actor.

That's right.

So how do they vote for you?

Can you, and this is part of the reason you're here is to court these votes.

How does just the dumbest asshole listening to this show, how do they vote for you?

Honestly, I'm not sure

how they go about voting for the Emmys.

Is this like a People's Choice Award?

Maybe it is.

Maybe there's like a toll-free number.

Yeah.

That's like Dancing with the Stars.

Is that what it is?

Did you ever do Dancing with the Stars?

100%.

I've been asking them to have me for years.

Right.

What star do you want to dance with?

Ooh, that is such a good question.

That is such a good question.

Oh,

Morgan Fairchild.

Oh, I thought you were going to say Morgan Freeman.

Morgan Fairchild.

Can you imagine the two of them together?

Can you imagine me and Morgan Freeman doing ballroom dancing together?

Oh, my God.

That would be amazing.

I would love to do that.

And then Morgan Freeman taps you on the shoulder and says, may I cut in?

Why, certainly, sir.

That would be the first tap on the shoulder cut-in in Dancing with the Stars history.

Oh, yeah.

Would you do The Mass Singer?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

You're asking me just a bunch of questions that I've already answered.

Yeah, yeah.

I would do them all.

Yeah, would you?

I would love to.

What about you're a big Survivor fan?

Would you do Survivor if they had celebrity celebrity version?

You and Ray Romano out on an island together?

Why Ray Romano?

Why did that bother?

I don't know.

I feel like one of the reasons.

Oh, light the fire.

Can I finish my thought?

I apologize.

I feel like one of the reasons Survivor is still cool is that they don't do stuff like that, don't you think?

Like celebrities, Survivor is very cool.

And liking it is even cooler.

I do like when you pop up on the after-show sometimes.

They don't do the after-shows anymore.

I know.

With budgeting.

I was there once.

It was great.

I do like it.

And then Jeff Propes pretends not to know you.

I know.

He was doing the whole thing, and I was like in the corner of the screens.

It was in the Ed Sullivan Theater.

As a matter of fact.

That's right.

Yeah.

But now they do.

Soon to be shuttered.

Now they do it all there, all

on site.

Would you go to Fiji

to go participate in the after-show?

Just like suddenly the survivors, they all crown their winner and they're like, oh, here's pizza and champagne.

And by the way, Adam's here.

Just cuts to you.

I would go to Fiji 100% to do

for any reason, really.

Yeah.

Do you want to go vacation there?

Yeah, let's go.

Okay.

Bye.

Oh,

I think we still have approximately one hour left on this show.

Oh, okay.

And then we'll go.

Make the reservations while we're doing this.

I'm already done.

In any case, I'm still open to voting for you.

I just need

something to make make it worth my while.

I'm going to spend the rest of my time here

on Earth making sure that you cast that vote for me.

Fantastic.

Now, when is this show coming back?

Because

I believe season one came out in 2022.

Season two came out around when the fires hit earlier in the year, 2025.

Is season three, 2028?

What's going on?

It's not going to take quite as long.

So 2027?

Well, we're, you know,

getting everything going.

Have you even started?

Yeah, for sure.

Like, well, like, what's happening right now?

They're writing.

Writing what?

Like, oh, I hope.

Dear diary,

I hope I can come up with more ideas for this show.

It'll be sooner than, it's not going to take as long this time.

Okay, but you haven't started filming it.

No, not filming now.

But you filmed yourself at home a little bit, right?

Oh, I filmed myself at home talking about filming.

So

that's something.

And they're going to edit this in and intersperse some of the.

This is going to be on the show.

Oh, this is right here.

Yeah.

I'm filming this.

Do you think I'll be nominated next year?

Probably.

Okay.

It'll be 28 nominated.

Me and my mom.

Well, Severance is out there right now, season one, season two.

If you're like me, you can watch two episodes of it last night.

Anytime you want.

Anytime you want.

That's the thing about streaming.

Like 2 p.m.

Great.

Sure.

2.30 p.m.

Great.

Why not?

2.45 p.m.

Oh, sure.

I have an appointment.

Oh, you can do it.

Yeah.

3.15 p.m.

It's supposed to take 25 minutes, but you know how these things can kind of run over.

Is the appointment at home?

Is it a Zoom?

It's a Zoom, but it's not at home.

I have to drive to someone's office.

Okay, how about 3.45 p.m.?

I'm just worried that traffic at that hour is going to be a little bad.

Could we push this to like

even,

I mean, 4.15 would be comp.

Uh-huh.

How about 4.30?

I mean, I'm flexible.

Is 4.30 okay?

4.30 is fine, but if you're watching more than one episode,

that's going to run right into sucker.

That's going to run into early bird at Denny's.

Yeah.

But you know what?

We can set up a projector and a movie screen at Denny's.

Oh, okay.

And figure out a way to stream through the projector.

Okay.

Usually when I do that, the management gets a little upset with me.

Yeah, I've called them.

I've figured it out.

You figure, oh, okay, great.

Yeah, if you've cleared it, yeah.

I'm definitely down.

So we're all set.

Do you want to say 4:30?

4:30.

Streaming Severance episode 3.

Yeah, I'll watch episode 3.

Why not?

How about 3459 12345678910?

Yeah,

stream those at Denny's Denny's 4.30 p.m.

Okay, great.

Yeah.

I only have 16 more hours to go on this show.

That's it.

It's quite a time commitment.

Sure is.

You know what I mean?

Like, hey, my buddy has a show.

Do you want to go watch 19 hours?

That's right.

You know what I mean?

It's like,

hey, my buddy's in Madame Webb.

Yeah.

I go and I spend an hour and 45 minutes.

I'm like, oh, boy, I did my part.

Next thing you know, he comes up to me and he's like, hey, I have this TV show.

Watch 19 hours of this.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

It's like just, it's sort of a sacrifice you make for your friends.

That's true.

How many episodes of my TV show did you watch?

There's 110.

I watched a good amount of those.

Oh, yeah.

That's nice.

You were in a good amount of them.

I was.

I was in, I think, like three or four of them.

You were in once per episode or per season.

You were our good job.

Was I really?

You were.

Yeah.

And you were

in the Between Two Ferns movie, and you were in our Michael Bolton special.

I remember once I was was a janitor on Comedy Bang Bang.

And you fired a gun into the air.

Well, Adam Scott, he needs your votes.

He's out there canvassing the neighborhoods, trying to get ME voters to vote for him.

When I finish this, I'm just going door to door.

Yeah, you're going to Topeka next, I believe, and just trying to get, just begging people to vote for him.

He needs these M's.

I'm going to hit every state in the country.

And

just a real barnstormer.

We need to take a break if that's okay.

We have a great show.

Coming up, we have an air.

We have a concerned citizen.

This is a good show, Adam.

Yeah, I love citizens that are concerned.

Yeah, okay.

Well, we're going to come right back.

We'll be right back with more Adam Scott, more comedy bang bang.

We'll be right back after this.

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You know, when you think about game day,

you might not think Wayfair, right?

I mean, they're two, one's two words and one's one word, first of all.

That's confusing right off the bat.

And then they're totally different

letters, although the A's, there still are two A's, but the G and the M, those aren't in Wayfair, and the W and the

Y is in both.

I mean, this is pretty similar, actually.

Game day, Wayfair.

I mean, you might think about it, but one reason you should is because Wayfair, right?

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I mean, when I say I, I mean Kulop.

Kulop ordered a bunch of holiday stuff.

She ordered a giant skeleton for Halloween,

a rabbit sitting with a ladybug.

I guess that's year-round.

That can just stay out there forever.

So yeah, so Wayfair's not only got stuff for game day, but also has a bunch of holiday stuff that my wife likes.

In any case, Wayfair is your trusted destination for all things game day, from coolers and grills to recliners and slow cookers.

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Comedy bang, bang, we're back.

Adam Scott of Severance Fame is here with us.

27 noms.

When you say noms, sorry to jump in.

When you say noms, phenoms.

Oh, okay, great.

Thank you.

Yeah.

27 Phenoms.

Yep.

Including the lead actor, the lead actress, the supporting actor, Zuh,

and a bunch of other shit.

Director.

Ben Stiller directs this show.

Yes.

And he always, he makes one Zoolander cameo per episode, which I thought was really interesting.

It's cool, right?

Yeah.

Generous of him to.

He just does the blue steel right into the camera and walks off.

You weren't expecting that when you watched it.

I was not.

I always, I just was kind of like, oh, he'll be behind the camera.

I view director as a behind-the-camera job primarily, but then I forgot about a little guy named Alfie Hitchcock.

Oh, man.

Boy, did he

step in front of the game when it came to directors?

So, yeah, for

Ben Stiller to come out and do the Blue Steel once per episode, but then one time he came out and

he wasn't doing the Blue Steel.

He was doing his Tropic Thunder character.

I thought that was really weird.

Because I'd been accustomed to the Blue Steel.

Like, I was used to it

at a certain point.

Yeah, I mean, when you're the director and you're calling the shots, you can do whatever you want.

That's the thing.

It's like a little dictatorship where no one can argue with you legally.

Yeah.

No, you're protected by the law.

And on a film set, you can do anything and everything you want.

That's right.

Just ask a little guy named Harvey Weinstein.

Oh, that's right.

Jesus.

Well, let's get to our next guest.

What a wonderful lead-in

to our next guest.

He's an heir,

and this is exciting.

I wonder what he is the heir to.

We'll discuss that at length, I'm certain.

Please welcome to the show for the first time, Bob PBS.

Hi, guys.

Hi, guys.

So wonderful to meet you here.

Yeah.

This is Adam.

I'm Simon.

Hi, Adam.

Oh, so nice to meet you.

I'm a big fan.

Maybe we could sidebar and maybe get you on some of the programming I'm working on.

You'd be great.

When you say programming, now

I have a little note here.

I was going to introduce you as Bob Pubs.

Nope.

But it's actually PBS.

What does that stand for?

That's actually my family name.

PBS for the family that founded the PBS network.

Oh, okay.

Oh, I see.

This is the, it has Downton Abbey,

which starts on a behind view of a dog where you can see its balls.

That was something I spearheaded.

I'm very proud of that.

You should be.

It's the thing everyone talks about.

Thank you.

It's really very exciting that they let us do that.

My dad let us do that.

I was trying to push the envelope with that a little.

Do you ever think that Sesame Street should start with that?

With like Ernie's balls?

Well, that's actually something we're pretty open to right now.

We're a little desperate for

funding right now.

What's going on?

Well,

your funding was cut in half or something.

I don't keep up with the news in a second.

It's been a little rough time for the PBS Corporation.

I've been tasked for my father of running the PBS Kids branch of the company.

That's a great one.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

That's like Gap Kids.

It's like Gap Kids,

but just for

cartoons.

We're teaching the kids how to learn all these things.

We thought we were doing something really good, and

we got smacked down pretty hard this week.

We got really kicked in the old dog balls.

Wow.

And basically the government is no longer funding your yeah, the whole thing is coming, is collapsing and we're we're we're running out of money pretty quick.

How much money do you have like on hand?

How much cash is on hand right now?

Oh God,

like $37.

$37 until the whole network runs out of money.

We are really up against it.

And so that's why I'm here.

I'm really here.

We're rethinking the whole thing.

We're going to do a whole new.

We're launching a new streaming service.

is this the right time to launch a new oh we gotta do it we gotta do it we're taking out a lot of debt we're taking out i guess if you're like apple tv plus like if you get one person willing to pay like a million dollars a year for it i mean it just justifies like we're we're we're not we're not looking for a million we're looking for anything where you buy a hot dog you will get you will get a free subscription okay to pbs kids any hot dog any hot dog we got deals everywhere pinks pinks we know we got a we got a connection with them but anywhere really anywhere you get a hot dog that's part of the geek.

Why don't you guys just have one of your telethons where you ask people for money at people?

You supposed to watch these and you get a tote bag, or you get like a record of

Botticelli, or who am I thinking you have?

Who sings?

Not Botticelli.

Bocelli.

Bocelli.

Botticelli, the painter.

The painter.

You can get like a record of him describing his paintings.

Yeah, that's great.

Everyone has one of those.

Yeah, sure.

We'll do a telethon.

We'd love.

Adam, would you be on the telethon?

Well, I'm not saying that.

That's a yes.

That sounds like a yes.

I mean, it sounds like a soft yes.

Very cold.

You can consider it an incredibly soft.

Just a limp, flaccid yes.

Oh, yeah, like a yes that's just laying on the ground and barely has a heart.

This is a big win for me.

Okay.

Okay, we got Adam as a soft, limp yes.

Okay.

Scott, I mean, Scott, I used to have a TV show.

Listen, Scott, I'll do it a few years ago.

That's a lot of money coming in.

Okay, okay.

I can see our way to the future with something like that.

Yeah, we're just looking to launch

a new streaming service uh change what's the new streaming service what uh we're gonna shorten the name you know you got to shorten those names okay we're gonna call it shorter than pbs shorter than we're gonna call it s kids plus

and

let's really roll off the name

s kids plus

why why why not just stick with pbs kids and then throw a plus on the app because people know what pbs is i think i just really i'm watching the market and i'm seeing how how we're relaunching these services and we want to make it quick and snappy that make make people excited to be a part of us.

So S Kids Plus.

S Kids Plus, maybe you want to call it Skids.

Skids Plus?

Skids Plus.

That's cool, right?

That's great.

I guess that's cool.

Yeah, it's really cool.

Okay, so thank you.

So, okay, so then we're going to launch the Skids Plus.

Okay, wait, did we just convince you to?

No, no, no, we're talking gameplay.

We're just talking games.

It sounded like you were like up in the air about it until we said it was cool.

No, I need approval because we're really, I mean, we just took it, we took it on the chin these last couple weeks.

They really humiliated us.

Not like someone jizzing on your face.

When you say took it on the chin,

I'm so sorry.

They don't play around in this Trump administration.

Okay, no.

I'm sorry.

They called me in.

They were like, what will you do for your funding?

And I said,

anything, anything.

And they're like, anything?

And I was like, sure, yeah, anything.

Oh, no.

And then they opened up a hatch in the floor.

What?

There's like a trapdoor?

There's a trapdoor in the White House.

And I walked down a long, circular staircase.

And then, oh, God.

Oh, God.

Eric Trump was there.

Oh, no.

Eric was not.

Eric's not a good guy.

No.

He's not a good guy.

He's not like Don Jr.

Yeah.

Don was terrific.

Great poster.

Great guy.

Don's a nice fella.

I have to say, nice.

Comparatively.

Comparatively.

No, Don's a nice fella.

What did Eric do?

Oh, he, well,

They asked if I could bring all the puppets from the Sesame Workshop.

You brought every single puppet?

A big old truck of puppets.

And they were like, relinquish them to me.

They said, relinquish them.

This is a quote.

Relinquish them to me?

They said, relinquish them to me.

And so

I had to relinquish my parental rights to these beloved puppets.

You adopted the puppets?

The puppets have spirits.

And so you have to treat them.

Have you ever worked with a puppet?

I've never worked with a single puppet.

No,

you have to treat them like they're real people.

Oh, what happens if you don't?

The children who watch can tell that there's no soul.

And the soul of a puppet is what makes a child feel magic.

Okay.

Okay.

All right.

This makes sense to me.

But then you had to relinquish these puppets.

Which is hard.

And all your rights.

All my parental rights.

All my parental rights to their spirit.

Okay.

And then, but Don, that's what, that's what, that's what Eric wanted.

He wanted the puppets.

He wanted the spirit of the puppets.

Okay, so that's what they're after.

Eric is after the puppet spirit.

So this is why they're cutting funding to PBS is he wanted all the puppets?

They just had me over a barrel.

They had me over a barrel.

That's what they wanted.

Literally or figuratively?

Oh, no.

What happened?

It wasn't good.

What happened?

It wasn't good.

Who did this to you?

Did they have a barrel down there?

They have a barrel.

They've got

a big desk.

No.

They have a big desk.

The render loop.

They have a.

This sounds like a nightmare.

Just a room with a barrel and a big desk?

Oh, my God.

And a bunch of stuff.

A circular staircase.

A circular staircase.

Wait, wait, this is at 1600, Pennsylvania.

1600.

The famous one, yeah.

An address that changes all the rules.

That's right.

God.

And so

they have a giant basement.

They have a resolute desk.

A resolute desk.

It's a real resolute desk.

It's the one.

It's a replica upstairs?

It's a replica upstairs.

Oh, my God.

Because the real one is where the bad things happen.

No,

what do they do?

And so they, Eric gets inside Snuffle Up Agus.

No.

He gets inside him.

And then...

When you say that, what do you mean?

Like inside the costume, or he inserts part of his body into him.

This is a terrible thing to say.

Okay.

But yes.

Yes.

He gets in.

Well, you know, he wears Snuffle Upagus.

He wears Snuffle Up Agus, and then he gets inside me.

Oh,

no.

man yes at that point you were hoping he was imaginary i i i i could see him um they changed it by the way we're because they were i know we see snuffle we were wrong we were convincing children to not tell people about sexual assault right and that's wrong we realize that now but it was only for the first 30 years 30 35 40 years the catholic church and us had a program together where we developed snuffle this is a psyop that you and the colon church

since the early 70s we thought thought it was a good thing.

We thought that we were convincing kids to trust priests.

Mia culpa.

In the parlance of the priests.

That's Latin.

Sure.

And the priests like Latin.

So, in any case, you're down there in the basement of the White House.

Basement of the White House.

Hunched over the Resolute Desk.

Snuffle Plus.

Trying to tell them about skids.

I'm trying to discuss.

We will make whatever work.

We will make whatever work to keep our funding.

And they were like, this is what we need to keep our funding.

man wow and and but i'm sure that's all that happened under there because it that there couldn't be anything else could there

no what happened i gotta call for my wife oh no she's back at home okay where where's home by the way delaware

and uh

and she's and and i and they're making and then big bird shows up there

To your wife's house?

Big Bird, but

that's actually Baron Trump.

Baron Trump's inside inside Big Bird.

I've come to understand now.

He's tall.

He's a bit tall, so it fits.

He's a big bird.

He's at NYU now, so it's not that far of a

little train ride.

He came down to the train.

He took the Biden train as a spike train ride.

No, the Acela?

The Acela, the one that Biden loves?

He loves that train.

Just as a fuck you.

Just as a fuck you?

He dresses as Big Bird, taking the

Biden train?

No.

And he's going down to my wife's house where I live with my wife.

Where your wife sleeps?

My wife sleeps there.

I sleep there when when I can I'm pretty busy are you on the road I'm on the road a lot a lot it's a big gig but you always sleep there even though you're on the road you come back to sleep I never leave my wife alone at night

anyway the FaceTime comes up as I'm bent over on the resolute desk and you accept a FaceTime in the middle of this that's my wife you gotta go you gotta answer

just logistically they bend you over the desk not the barrel the barrel they the barrel was a threatening object i knew what it meant And I knew that the possibility.

The possibility of moving over to the movie.

You don't want to even get near that thing.

It's like Running Man.

You're watching.

In what way?

Is it safe?

Is it safe?

Is that the movie?

No, I think it was the Marathon Man.

Those are different movies?

Unfortunately.

Wow, those are the same names.

They could have just wrapped those two up into one.

I know.

Don't you think?

I know.

Edgar's new movie.

I got to talk to him.

If he comes back on Comedy Bang Bang to promote this.

Could have just been the running marathon, then.

Yeah, exactly.

Is it safe?

I've always assumed those are the same movies.

They are quite different.

Wow.

Okay.

Anyway, so my wife FaceTimes.

She FaceTimes.

She FaceTimes, but it's Big Bird.

Yeah, sure.

So Big Bird, so you...

You're in the middle of getting plowed by Snufflewop, I guess.

You FaceTime, you expect yourself.

With your trunk.

With the trunk.

Oh, no, you didn't even mention that.

You turn on your FaceTime.

you expect your wife's loving face there to give you some solace yeah and instead big bird is there big bird's having his way with her no oh man yeah no it was bad it was really bad simultaneous

and we're watching each other both get this done to each other

it was pretty bad it was pretty bad wow so anyway i thought we had saved the funding yeah so after all that you would think that you would think you you acquiesced to all of this all of it all of it but that's you never give in to a bully because they just learned they can take more

so they didn't write you a check there and then no they actually cut our funding they cut

after that when we finished then they cut the funding because they didn't respect you that's right that's right yeah this is terrible it was really bad i'm so sorry this happened to you thank you so uh and by the way i believe you Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

That's 100%.

I know how much you like Harvey Weinstein.

And and so I didn't know if you'd come on here and believe me because you, I know you're in the Harvey camp.

We don't talk about that on mic.

Okay, good.

Anyway, thank you.

In any case, I'm so sorry about that.

So, you're trying to get Skids Plus going in order.

We're launching, we're launching, we're doing, and they're do you have any other plans?

Yeah, they're dictating the programming right now.

They are, they are, we're gonna do whatever they want.

Wow, um, so we got uh

and full control of the puppets, they now have the puppets the puppets are the puppets souls are are under the the spell of the the trump boys um and um yeah so if uh if they want to do the program the programming is uh we'll do whatever they want um and so so why would i then give money to you if the programming is going to be so bad please give money please no the programming is going to be great the programming is going to be great what is the programming gonna be oh okay uh we got uh curious george okay um he's he's sure he's a curious little monkey the man with a yellow hat.

Everyone loves Curious George.

Everybody loves him.

He's going to be working in the diamond mines.

The man with the yellow hat's going to be the foreman.

And we're going to be talking a lot about how these new lab-grown diamonds are bullshit.

And how

those are not sentimentally valuable.

And you really do need a monkey mine diamond to have any real value.

Okay, this sounds different than the Curious George that I grew up with.

A touch.

Yeah, definitely.

Curious George is going to like working in these mines.

Okay.

He's going to be curious about the diamond industry.

How much longer can I work?

I'm so curious.

How much more can I give to the company?

How much capital can I provide?

Exactly.

How much does this company need to fulfill its mission of getting De Beers diamond onto every woman's finger in the world?

Like, I don't need much money as far as my salary goes, but I just want the company to flourish.

joy yes exactly the joy of seeing a company succeed in this country

taking pride in that take and and and not feeling like your life was wasted because you worked for one company for several years that's correct you the the monkey lifespan is actually perfectly designed for the lifespan of a diamond mine really what is the lifespan of a monkey i've never quite figured

that out 40 years 40 years and then most most mines will uh lose tap out tap out about 30 to 40 years okay and so it's actually pretty perfect that a monkey so if you can get like monkeys right when they're born right when they're born and then and then never let them see the daylight because that the daylight is one of the things that convinces them they want freedom got it got it

you like this right yeah no this is great i've seen your smile yeah the little baby monkeys those can be fun puppets yes puppet spirits yes puppets and you and the and each season can uh be one year and those 40 year yeah

and then you're growing up with it.

Like my favorite show, Bill Maher.

Yeah, in real time.

Yeah.

We're watching Bill Maher grow.

That's all I'm as a little bit.

Real time with Bill Maher is one of the only shows that is actually, you know, The Simpsons, they all stay the same age.

We're watching.

We're watching Bill Maher get progressively older and older and more decrepit.

It's a beautiful single week.

Wow.

It's beautiful.

It's like Boyhood.

It's like Boyd First.

Bill Maher.

Have you ever wanted to watch Boyhood starring Bill Maher instead of Ethan Hawk?

Oh, I love it.

What about Elmo?

What's going on with Elmo?

Okay.

Elmo, he's obviously.

You know, if you rearrange the letters in Elmo, it spells mole.

Hmm.

Loam, too.

Yeah.

Also, Mo.

Elon.

Elon?

Yep.

Elon Musk.

Yeah.

Omel.

Omel.

Oh, Mel.

What Anne Bancroft used to scream

in the throes of lovemaking?

Loam?

Did we do loam yet?

I think Loam was said.

We can do it again.

Yeah, let's do that one again.

Loam.

Loam.

Yeah, Adam.

Yes.

Ann Bancroft screaming Loam?

Oh, Loam.

Loam.

Yeah, no,

Elmo's going to be,

well, Elmo's.

Have you ever heard of a pink sock?

I mean,

that you can make a puppet out of, do you mean?

No, when your asshole is turned outside your body.

Oh, the prolapsed anus.

The prolapsed anus.

Okay.

So Elmo's going to what now?

Elmo.

Was that a different subject?

Elmo is Elmo

will be the sex slave of sultans.

We're being sponsored by Dubai.

And we're getting a lot of money from overseas.

And so we're really excited to take any sort of sponsorship.

And

so there's a couple people that have a real furry fetish.

And we're going to, we absolutely have to cater to that.

Okay.

So

Elmo is available for

any kind of...

You can rent Elmo out, essentially.

You can turn Elmo out.

Okay.

Yeah.

Wow.

And that's okay.

You can turn him inside out.

You can turn him inside out, and he will giggle his way through all of it.

Wow.

So it's okay.

He is so cute.

He's so cute.

I'm looking forward to this, actually.

Yeah, and he's red, which is great for the the Trump folks.

Exactly.

Yeah, exactly.

He's going to be part of their campaign, maybe?

We're hoping that.

Okay, this is incredible.

I mean, this doesn't sound half bad, honestly.

I'm not subscribed to Skids Plus.

Thank you.

Not only subscribe, but I feel like you're asking us for a bit more money than that, right?

A bit more than a subscription.

Look, I mean, I can't help.

I'm in this beautiful.

How much will get you back up on your feet?

Okay, Scott.

Moment of trouble.

I'm in your home.

I'm in the recording studio.

Yeah.

I did look around

while you were looking elsewhere.

I see what you have.

Yeah.

Okay.

I come.

I came.

By the way, all my guests can take one thing from my house.

Anytime we tape an episode, all my guests get to take one thing out of my house.

I appreciate you saying that.

I'm taking this safe.

Oh, no, not my safe.

The safe.

You just said you can take anything.

Can I empty the safe beforehand?

Or I'm holding it.

I'm holding it, and I will.

Whatever's inside, I'm trusting is valuable.

Not my cougar

That's.

Those are the most valuable things.

Not the deeds to all my properties.

Yeah.

Okay, well, I appreciate you telling me what's inside because now I will be able to auction it off.

Cougarans are still very valuable.

What are Cougarans?

South African doubloons.

Yeah.

Thank you so much for explaining what I was just about to explain because I know what they are just as well as you know.

Obviously.

Yeah.

That's where they hid all the money

when they were looting the country.

Fantastic.

It's good stuff.

How did you get your hands on them, Scott?

Oh, you know, just various shell games and companies behind companies.

And, you know, I mean.

Well,

enjoy the safe.

I mean, you don't have the combination, unfortunately.

Adam.

Yeah.

Do you know the combination?

You're his good friend.

Hey, Adam.

Yeah, Scott, what's up?

Don't tell him the combination, okay?

I know you know it.

I do know it.

It's my favorite numbers.

I know.

Six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine.

Six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine.

But, and you six, sorry, three more.

Six, nine, six, nine, six, nine.

But then there is that time that I came over and we were drinking uh

four logos twisted tea

and

we got super fucking blazed.

Yeah.

And on top of the twisted teas.

Yeah.

So we were drunk and super stoned.

Right.

Yeah.

Like high with marijuana.

Yeah, that's one of my favorite memories.

And we decided to alter the combination.

Oh, and I totally forgot about that.

And we added eight more six nines.

Oh, that's right.

It's six, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine, six, nine,

yes right so you don't want me to yeah don't tell okay Adam yeah hey what's up Scott can't hear us uh

I'm desperate I I'm I'm I'm getting that I'm really desperate okay

is there anything you can tell me I'll guess it okay I'll guess if you give me a clue I'll give you a hint okay because I can't betray my friend okay okay

what do you call it?

When

a mommy and a daddy.

A mommy.

Sorry.

A mommy and a daddy.

Sorry, I'm listening.

Or oh, hey, Scott, what's going on?

I'm not telling him to go.

You should give me a hint.

You're not betraying him.

No, no, no, no.

Thank you.

Thank you for

giving a J-H.

Or just a...

I'm just giving you a JH here, super quick.

What do you call it when a mommy and a daddy?

Or two daddies or two mommies.

You know, when you're in bed with someone and you're like, let's play it safe, I'll put my head at the end of the bed.

You put your head on the pillow just so nothing happens.

But

this is how most of them start.

This is how.

Did they start as an accident?

This is how 69ing was invented.

Oh, shit.

You just said...

What?

Fuck.

Oh.

I'm so sorry.

What the fuck, dude?

I've betrayed our friendship.

You betrayed our friendship.

Scott, damn it.

Is it 21 69s in a row?

Yes.

Damn it.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Scott, I'm so sorry.

That's okay.

That's okay.

All right.

Go ahead.

Thank you so much with the safe.

All my valuables.

This is great.

Oh, my God.

You're really going to make a difference.

And I'm telling you, America's children will thank you for saving PBS.

If it's for the children, it's for the children.

Then that's all right.

It's great.

It's for Skids Plus.

Well,

gosh, Bob, I'm glad I was able to help out.

This is great.

Anyone who's listening, subscribe to Skids Plus.

Yep.

And we need to take a break, if that's okay.

When we come back, we have a concerned citizen.

So this is, I mean, this is a great show already.

Yeah.

A lot of civic-minded people.

Yes, exactly.

We're going to be right back.

We're going to have have more Bob PBS.

More Adam Scott.

We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this.

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Comedy Bang Bang, we're back.

Adam Scott of Severance fame.

Hi.

You got, who's in this Severance?

You got

Zach Cherry.

Zach Cherry, of course.

Yeah, aforementioned.

Yeah.

There's nothing we can do about it.

No, at this point, I mean, I guess in the writing right now, because from what I was told,

I heard this somewhere.

It's like maybe Hollywood gossip, but the third season of Severance is being written right now.

And

like page one, episode one,

what's Sack's character's name?

Dylan.

Like

Bob Dylan.

He's playing Bob Dylan.

He plays Bob Dylan in Severance?

This is like a Chalame kind of sequel or something.

You didn't catch that watching the first two eps.

I mean, I know when he was holding up

the cards that had the lyrics on it and he wasn't lip-syncing, I was kind of like, oh, this is kind of like

Bob Dylan.

But you were thinking in excess, probably.

Yeah, exactly.

In any case, you could just write like page one, fade in.

Dylan chokes on a peanut,

keels over, dies.

Does he have a tiny esophagus?

Or a giant peanut?

Either one.

Yeah, yeah.

Whatever makes the Cadence feel like, oh, okay, yeah,

yeah.

Maybe it's a Mr.

Peanut like phone.

Yeah, oh, okay.

Yeah, no problem.

Yeah, sure.

And you could

set that up at the end of, you just go back and reshoot the last episode

of season two and just have him like get a big Mr.

Peanut phone in the mail and go, my phone.

Oh, my God.

I have it.

I want to eat this.

Yeah, that's a good.

Okay.

That's a good.

In any case,

wonderful show, 27 noms.

How many do you have to win in order to feel like, yeah, this is worth it, all the press I'm doing?

It's never,

the hole, the gaping hole in my soul will never be filled.

That's right.

You know how it is.

Yeah, what happened with not only you, but me in order to have this hole that just makes us continue to do this job, which just treats us like shit?

It's just, it's.

Show business is just a cruel, cruel mistress, and yet we try to please her every single day of our lives.

Every day, and she keeps just turning her nose up at us, if you know what I mean.

Yeah, exactly.

So, you know, I don't know why we do it, but something, obviously, something happened in our childhoods, right?

Or at least, you know, before 18.

Yeah.

Or like between 18 and 19.

Yeah.

Like the third month of 18.

Yeah, between 18 and 45, the demo.

Right.

Yeah, exactly.

Something, something happens.

Everything happens within that demo

of when you matter as a human being.

That's right.

Males 18 to 45.

That's the only period of time in your life that matters.

In any case.

No, we're just happy to

be.

In any case, Severance, 27 Noms, watch the Emmys on,

what are we talking, September 11th?

Why do you keep pulling that date up?

In the middle of September.

Definitely in the middle of September.

Yep.

Yep.

And just watch the Emmys and see everything that goes down.

That's right.

And Adam, you, of course, on our other show, you talk in U2 to me.

You pledged that were you ever to win the Oscar, you would get up on stage, accept it, hold it aloft, and say, I'm going to shove this up my butt.

I sure did.

I made that pledge.

And will you do the same with the Emmy?

Well, this is a much different circumstance.

And a much bigger award.

Much bigger, differently shaped award.

So not going to happen, I guess.

No.

Okay.

Understand?

We also have Bob PBS here, heir to the PBS fortune.

Hey, Bob.

Thanks for having me.

And he's really relaxed.

Feeling really good.

I got looking through your safe and finding all sorts of childhood mementos.

And I'm just the most.

I'm just going to take them.

It doesn't mean anything.

I'm a grown-ass man now.

I don't need anything.

Also, there's a giant hole in your heart.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

I'm finding there's a sled in here.

That's right.

Bob, do you think this is these goodies you're finding?

Do you think it's going to help out?

Help us out.

I mean,

there's, like I said, there's the Cougarans, there's deeds to all sorts of estates.

This is going to really make a real dent in our funding.

And I think it's going to...

There's also blackmail material in there for me.

So for you.

Oh,

maybe I shouldn't.

Check out that file, the Manila

folder there.

Yeah.

Who's this Mr.

Oswald character that you seem to be friends with?

Mr.

Oswald, yeah.

He's just a.

He's an old friend.

And, you know, there's pictures, descriptions, all sorts of stuff.

So you can just blackmail me whenever you want.

And I don't want any of that stuff to come out.

This guy seems to know the Kennedys.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

He knows all of them.

Quite well.

Yeah.

The MTV VJ is who you're talking about, right?

The Kennedy, the Kennedys, the multiple Kennedys.

Yeah, there are like three of her.

Yeah.

She's like the ultimate.

She was a warrior.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

One Kennedy would die.

They'd replace it with more Kennedy.

Well, we have to go to our next guest.

And a lot of times on Comedy Bang Bang, look, the new tagline of the show, Adam, you haven't been around for this.

It used to be the show where we talked to interesting people.

Then it was Humanities podcast.

Then it changed into Humanity and the Animal Kingdoms podcast.

But now the tagline for the show is Comedy Bang Bang.

We care.

Oh, I love that.

Yeah.

And

we truly do.

We care about you individually as listeners, but we also care about the issues of the day.

And so we have a concerned citizen on the show to sort of air his or her grievances today.

Please welcome for the first time on the show,

not Dim, Jim Del Monte.

Hey, you doing?

How you doing, Scott?

Hey, it's Jim Del Monte.

Yeah, you can also call me

Jumbotron Jim or Jimbotron.

And I am concerned.

I have some concerns.

Jumbotron Jim is

a nickname or

it's a name that I'm trying to get going with people

for being on Jumbotron.

You've been on a Jumbotron.

I have been on a Jumbotron before.

I've been on a Jumbotron six and a half times in the last.

What was the halftime uh you know or was it during halftime and that's why you say it's such a half time no you and that's very funny you're a funny guy you're very funny guys the reviews are in yes no you just know when um

when uh they put the dance cam on you know on you know it's a timeout and the dance cam goes on and you're talking about at a sporting event yeah yeah at a sporting event sure not when you're disciplining your children no no no no you put them in timeout and then you put a dance cam on no i never no i know i i no i don't see it i don't think the purpose you don't see your children how many children do do you have?

I have two.

And why don't you see them?

They don't want to see me right now because of this unfortunate event, actually.

Oh, okay.

What happened?

Well, what happened was,

and this is why I'm here, because you seem in a very giving mood today.

You're giving PBS money.

Sure, you can get nominations.

Anything else, by the way, from the...

Oh, I didn't realize that.

You can take my vote?

Oh, he could take your vote and throw it my way.

You could take my vote.

I could take your vote.

You get to take something from my house, too.

You're on the show.

Take a Zemi.

Take a Zemmi.

Oh, I'm taking

Emmy.

Well, you guys point those out to you.

Thanks, Mr.

PBS.

You're welcome.

Use two.

It just taken from you.

I don't want to take from you, Scott.

You're not going to take me.

No, well,

if you want to give.

I do want to give.

Anything you want.

I don't want to take.

Okay.

Well, but I

hear my story.

Maybe

I feel like you could.

Jim Del Monte, I would like to hear your story.

Jim,

it's a very, it's a classic story.

So

I'm at the Philadelphia 76 game.

You know, in Philadelphia?

In Philadelphia, at the Wells Fargo Center.

Are you from Philadelphia?

I'm from New York and Philadelphia, and that's where this kind of...

When you say you're from both of these places.

Well, I was born in Philadelphia, and then six months later, my father absconded with me to Philadelphia.

When you say the word absconded, he kidnapped you?

Yeah, he took me there without my mother's permission.

Okay.

And he kept you there?

Yeah, he kept me there.

Have you seen your mother since you were?

Haven't seen her.

Haven't seen her.

Haven't wanted to.

Haven't Haven't thought about it.

It's not, has nothing, it has had no effect on me.

Oh, okay, great.

Yeah.

That's pretty sadly Vamar.

Yeah.

So I have this thing where I need to be on Jumbotrons.

You know,

I need to be seen on them, and I think the people need to see me.

Okay.

So I'm at a Sixers game.

And you know, the Sixers are not a great team.

So they really need the fans to get into it.

And I'm dancing and

I'm doing the Running Man.

The Marathon.

No, it's The Running Man.

not the marathon man, but I always get them confused.

Right.

And then this

person starts flossing into my shot.

Oh, no.

The dance.

Yeah, the thing she's doing is she's flossin'.

And

so then it becomes kind of a

I'm sharing the cam.

Okay.

And you shouldn't have to share the cam when it's on.

Yeah, when it's on you.

It's on me.

It would seem like normally when I see a dance cam, they have like one person.

That's right, and then they crossfade to a different person.

That crossfade, exactly and then if the audience loves you they'll go back to you yeah and the audience really likes me i really run hard and i do you know i really give my whole all do you always do the running man or i do no i have popped and locked before it depends on what the song is and what the bpms are okay what was this song that was playing this was uh hammer don't hurt him

they're playing hammer don't hurt him yeah it's playing hammer don't hurt him i don't even think this was a single i think it was the title of that they're playing deep cuts okay this is a sixers game i got got him.

Mind you, they're bombing at this point, the Sixers.

This is the process era six.

So, however good the team is doing, that's well, that's the songs they can afford because you know you have to pay.

You have to

royalty, it's a royalty situation, and Hammer is so hard up that Hammer don't hurt him is the only thing that we got playing on PBS kits.

So it's really interesting.

No, he's everywhere, it's in and everyone's hurt him.

So one thing leads to another, and the person who I'm in a dance now competition with falls over

when you say one thing leads to another.

Did you push this?

These are not important details.

It's not enough.

Okay, I'll take your word for it.

So she falls over,

well, over the ledge.

Oh, no.

That's the worst place to fall.

But she falls into a luxury

box.

Box.

A luxury box.

Did it have an awning like those New York City kind of?

No, there was no awning.

There were a lot of hot plates.

Hot plates on top of the

box, you know, the hot dogs and the cheesesteaks.

hot dogs that's good for you she she hurt yeah whoa whoa whoa yeah so you got some descriptions right there oh that's exciting okay yeah well well not so exciting for me because she was hurt a little bit and there was she scalds her she she she breaks both of her legs and um and um

and her her mouth uh

her teeth like went through her upper lip it was bad

and and it was gruesome and the game had to be stopped the players were crying the players were all crying?

Well, one Tyrese Maxie started to cry, and then he's so adorable and lovable.

Everyone just kind of

just from two broken legs and a couple of people.

There was blood everywhere.

Everywhere, way up in a luxury box.

Well, the luxury box, if you, I don't know if you've ever been one, Mr.

Actor.

Yeah.

Have you ever been in a luxury box?

No, I mean,

I'm just saying, they're on the first level, but they're just above

the first level here.

And

you're angled slightly to where things run downhill.

And you can really see it.

Yeah.

So the blood, everyone could see that.

And of course, now the camera that was once on me doing the Running Man, the hammer don't hurt him is now on this girl.

Right.

And they're shooting.

I'm like, don't shoot it.

Come here

and get on you.

Because the song is still going at this point.

And now I'm kind of hitting my stride, if you will.

Anyway, without her in the shot, suddenly, like, yes.

And as you know, so when something terrible like this happens, you someone is a scapegoat and they found one.

So sorry.

So you now are blamed for all of this.

For whatever reason, because I was dancing next to this

child.

She was a child.

I'm sorry.

She was a child.

Is that important?

I think that's important information.

I mean,

okay, but she's old enough to know not to get into your shot.

Sounds like a potential skids plus.

I mean,

I would like to meet this lady.

No.

Little girl.

She's a liar and don't believe anything her family says.

Ooh, Susie in the lawsuit?

This is a show.

No, okay.

Well,

or the show is Get Jimbo back on into the Wells Fargo Center.

Because I have now been banned.

You've been banned from the whole center?

From the whole center, all events.

Sixers, Flyers, concerts.

Billy Joel comes, can't go.

What other events, I mean, you got the Sixers, the Flyers, concerts.

Anything else happen?

Yeah.

You can do Ring Wing Brothers comes every year.

Do they really?

Oh, interesting.

I really like it.

I really like to go.

Something on Ice happens.

Right.

oh billy graham uh preaching billy graham every other year sure he's great you still got it he's dead

hey bob he's dead i know that for a fact did donald trump ever do a rally there donald trump uh he did it in the parking lot but i can no longer go in those as well you can't even go in the parking lot 500 feet 500 feet can you believe this 500 feet that is now what is that okay is that okay to anyone

that's probably a bunch of other businesses one football one and uh it's not a lot of football fields one and two-thirds football fields.

I'm still curious about the incident itself because you kind of.

Okay, please.

I'd love to walk you through it.

I mean, I'm just wondering about the part where she fell off the ledge.

Did you push her?

Do we have evidence of this on tape?

What happened?

It would seem that it would be on the jumbo.

You just can't believe anything you see on

tapes.

On jumbotrons?

Yeah, but the jumbotron is gone.

That was a one-time thing.

So now you just go on YouTube.

And yeah, this is all on YouTube.

But it's doctored.

It's It's doctored.

You know, the camera, it's not,

it's AI.

It's AI.

It could be.

It could be AI.

It could be AI.

I mean, that's what's taking over PBS, right?

And AI is going to write.

You shouldn't like AI either.

It's going to write your preferences.

Right, right.

It's going to write the whole third season.

Is that what you said when they're writing it?

They're just putting it through ChatGPT.

Yeah, that's what I meant.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, ChatGPT is all over the place.

Oh, is that AI?

Is ChatGPT AI?

I think so.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's the biggest one.

Chat GPT is the biggest AI.

He's the biggest AI.

He's AI.

And now, you know, he's writing AI to me is Alan Iverson.

You know, but no longer can I see him.

He's a Sixer.

Okay, I'll take your word for it.

But

so you take my word for it.

That's what I'm asking you to do.

It's pretty simple.

I'll take your word for that one thing, and that's Alan Iverson.

That's fine.

Playing for who?

The Sixers?

The Sixers.

Okay, sure.

I'll take your word for that.

But quite honestly, your story beggars belief.

I think that you...

Here's what I I think.

I think you were jealous that this little girl.

How old is this little girl?

It's not important.

Seven.

Seven-year-old little girl got into your jumbo truck.

But a big girl.

And she was flossing.

She was flossing uncontrollably.

Okay, she's seven years old.

She's swinging her hands around.

I'm sorry.

This is a fun dance to do.

Yeah.

When I was seven, I was trying to dig a hole out of my father's basement.

What?

Oh.

Not important.

Okay.

Can I ask

anything you want, Bob?

Do you think you're

so obsessed with being on the jumbo truck because you're hoping your mommy will find you?

What are you talking about?

That's insane.

Is your mom a Sixers fan?

Do you remember anything about that?

Yeah, you know, she liked the NBA.

She liked the National Basketball Association.

She liked the National Basketball Association, you know.

Okay.

She liked Alan Iverson.

She was an Iverson fan.

She loved him.

She loved him.

So you go to these games.

I mean, you only lived in Philadelphia for six months out of your life.

You're born in, or raised in New York, rather.

Yeah, that's right.

You say the word use or yes instead of you.

That's how you say use.

So you're real New York.

I guess.

So you have no connection to Philadelphia other than...

That's my connection.

People come to the games to see me on the Jumbotron.

That's my connection.

I give something to the people.

I'm sorry.

Do you have no connection to your fans?

Or Or the Severance peoples?

Or to the PBS people?

I have a connection to the Severance people, but yeah, Scott does.

These are your fans.

Are you saying that's why people come to Sixers games?

I'm saying you on the Jumbo Drum?

Maybe not on the nose that, but I think,

yes,

yes, it's part.

I think that the enjoyment of the games has gone down exponentially.

And people have told me that.

Jim.

Yes, Scott.

Why not just figure out what your original name was was and call your mother?

What do you think your original name is?

Because your name is Jim Del Monte.

This is obviously a fake name that your father adopted in order to elude capture.

Yeah, that's the can of beans.

Yeah.

It's the can of peaches.

It's really the peaches he loves.

Oh, the peaches.

Were there any clues at your house as to what your original name might be?

No, I.

There was Sixers paraphernalia everywhere.

It was everywhere, just everywhere.

Everywhere.

Everywhere.

Bathroom.

Oh, you kidding me?

I peed into a hoop.

Wow.

Were you supposed to do that?

Yeah, it was.

Because it might just be like above the toilet.

It was a time waster.

Oh, it was above the toilet.

No, it was right above the toilet.

Oh, right.

No, the time waster was

the trash bin I would throw things in.

Okay.

But the hoop was right over the toilet.

The hoop was right over the toilet.

Yeah.

But these are the things.

And it really.

It was a mess, too.

Yeah, what about for poopoo?

Poo-poo was awful, but

I developed strong cores.

Strong calves, too.

Yeah, they were just squatting on the top.

It was like a slam though.

It was like high up up?

What was the hoop on the toilet?

Was it regulation?

No,

it was about five feet above.

No, I mean five inches.

Sorry.

I do the feet yard thing again.

Okay, got it.

Yeah, it was five inches above the actual

rim of the rim, but that, but that's a lot when you're talking about bending over.

Anything.

If you go into a restaurant and it's like a little bit different, you're like, whoa,

five inches is you're basically

pooping on Mars.

So in any case,

Sixers paraphernalia ever.

Maybe your original name was like Joe Sixer?

Joe Sixer.

I don't know.

Yeah, I don't really.

Scott, I don't think you know much about basketball.

That's fine.

But

that's really.

I have to know about basketball to guess what you're doing.

Well, probably, you know, it just might be.

It's possible that it was, you know, a Sixer player is my real father.

Oh.

Interesting.

I'm thinking.

Who are the famous Sixer players in history?

There's Alan Iverson.

I know that for a fact.

Yeah, he was too young.

Dr.

J.

Dr.

J.

Dr.

J.

I was was sure I was going to be wrong about that.

You got it.

You both were right.

Dr.

J is your real father?

It's been rumored.

Oh.

There's been a rumor going around.

So your real name might be Irving.

Well, where do you think the J came from?

Jim.

Wait, you say this rumor has been going around.

Where has this rumor been going around?

Mostly in my head, but also on a couple, there's two Reddit threads.

Yeah.

That one I started and one that I did not start.

Are you black?

Yeah, if you'll forgive us, you don't look.

No.

Yeah, one bit black.

Not even, yeah, not one bit.

But that can happen.

It can happen.

Like,

you got hidden black.

I don't think that's what you can call it.

I don't think you can call it hidden black.

I don't know.

I think we're five.

I look like my mother who looks like Michael Chicklis.

Your mother looks like Michael Chicklis, you think?

Like a more beautiful Michael Chicklis.

More beautiful.

How can you get more beautiful than Michael Chicklis?

Sorry, but

it's hard to.

It's an attractive man.

But you don't remember your mother.

No, I don't.

I don't remember.

In your mind, though, she looks like a beautiful Michael Chiklas who's a Sixers fan.

And dating one of the white players, I would think.

Maybe, but we don't know.

Because that can happen, as we have established.

It can happen.

I guess.

It can happen.

But it also, yes, I could be Jeff Hornisek's son, I guess.

He's white.

He was white.

He was white?

He's white.

He's today.

He's white today.

He still is.

He's white today.

He's He's white today.

But anyway, I'd love to get back doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

That's what I'm saying.

These

details, I don't know why we're talking about my mother.

Well, what about

finding a new basketball arena to

jumbo tron?

You live in New York?

Why do you get there?

Yeah, just go to Madison Square Gardener.

Do they play there?

They call it the garden for sure.

Do they really?

Yeah.

That's so cool.

Yeah.

That is, that's beautiful.

Well, I have tried.

Philadelphia is out for me.

Yeah.

Sounds like it.

I tried to get into to a villanova game

i guess the ai technology they know your face oh really so they'll just stop you right at the door now yeah they'll throw cold water on that right away and so yeah i i could go to to um i could go to the garden i guess but you know i don't know that the right people would see it maybe the snows will play there someday yeah

They do play there, Scott.

That's an interesting.

Maybe you do know more about basketball than I thought.

They will.

I have a rudimentary grasp

of the fact that teams play to give yourself enough credit.

I had not even considered that, but

maybe I could just go to away games for the Sixers.

Sure.

Every Sixers away game.

Sure.

Do you think your mother might be in the

fence, but it's possible that my mother's a game.

What happened to this gentleman who has been acting as your father all these years?

What has happened to him?

He's a great man, and he's in prison right now for a little bit.

He's a great man.

But you were trying to escape from his basement.

But it was a basement of love.

But you were trying to escape the loving basement?

Yeah, just to get food.

Oh.

You man, this doesn't sound like a great man.

Did you turn him in?

I didn't turn him in per se, but when I ran from

the home,

it was covered in my own,

you know, feces.

Yeah.

Why did you cover yourself in your own feces?

Warmth, mostly, I think.

But also,

I had gone a little crazy, I guess, a little bit.

I had created stories in my head that were not true about him, which I would love to get him out to.

That would be the second thing is like to

bring justice to my father, who's not Jeff Hornisek or Alan Iverson.

But

the important thing is,

I'm okay now.

Good, good.

And

my dad is doing great.

Yeah.

You sound like you're bothering me.

I'm okay.

You're okay.

Yeah, you sound like you're bad.

I'm okay.

Your thumbs are extended upwards.

Yay.

I'm a real yay guy.

I just want to get back.

You just want to get back where you are.

In front of the big screen, which I'm sure you can relate to.

You know, you can just buy a camera and a projector.

You can buy a jumbotron.

Yeah.

I'm selling them.

Actually, I have one over there if you just want to take a jumbotron.

That could be your thing.

That could be my job.

That could be your thing that you take with you.

Yeah.

I really wanted your connections in Hollywood to get get me back in, but now I can just get it.

Yeah, just take the jumbotron.

I'll take the jumbotron.

You could just put a camera on yourself all day long.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's not a bad idea, but I don't know that important people would see it.

You know what?

Fasten it to the top of your van or your car.

It's a van.

It's a van.

It's a lot of Ikano line.

Yeah, I figured it was.

And then just broadcast yourself on the jumbotron, drive around the streets of Philadelphia, and eventually your mother will go see it.

That hadn't occurred to me that I could.

Well, that's why we're we're here because at Comedy Bang Bang, we care.

You really helped the citizen here.

Hey, you know what?

You were a concerned citizen, and now you're an unconcerned citizen because I've solved your problem.

I'm no longer concerned.

That's what we do here at Comedy Bang Bang.

We did it, Adam.

That's beautiful.

Wow.

We helped one person.

We helped two people.

I'm rich again.

Oh, that's right.

I forgot.

I'm poor, too.

You helped me.

Two people.

Hey, Adam, we're a team here.

Thank you.

Yeah, we got Adam and Emmy.

He hasn't put his vote in yet.

He might get you.

That might be your one thing that you take with you, is my vote.

Well, guys, we are running out of time, unfortunately.

We do have time for one final feature, though, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs.

It's plugs for me

and not

for thee.

Why don't you take your plugs and put them on the shelf?

It's plugs for me

and not

for thee.

You can promote your stupid projects somewhere else

somewhere else.

Ah, that was gorgeous.

That was somewhere else by the Corn Sweat Quartet.

Thank you so much.

If you have a plugs theme, head over to cbbworld.com slash plugs and you can upload your songs there.

You can find all of everything you would need for remixes.

Everything you need is right there.

All right, guys, what are we plugging Adam?

Obviously, Severance.

Severance is on Apple TV Plus.

That's right.

And it could be on Skids Plus if you're interested.

Yeah, listen.

At $5,000 a month, I can't afford it.

Yeah.

You know what?

One hot dog.

You get Severance on Skids Plus.

This sounds like a good deal.

It's a great deal.

You get a hot dog anywhere in the world.

Anywhere.

Severance on Skids Plus.

um and um bob pbs what do you want to plug here well obviously um

skids plus s kids s kids skids plus

whatever you want to call it um and um just make sure to you know just uh send me send me all of your children's hopes and dreams and do you have any licensing deals for any movies that'll be on skids plus

uh cliff clifford uh clifford anything in theaters right now that you want people to see before it hits skids it's really hidden the hidden this to you buddy uh i wanted i want to i mean i heard the new naked gun movie is good oh yeah you heard that too

i heard the new naked gun movie yeah jim jellon's good you heard this as well

it's the only other place i want to go i don't want to be on the screen when i'm seeing naked gun i wanted to no let

the screen come to me

up on the screen during that movie was something else a laugh riot i saw that movie too you guys it's you saw it fantastic yeah it's we all saw it Would it hurt the movie, though, to occasionally during the movie turn the camera back on the crowd?

I just feel like there wasn't enough of director showing up being like, Hey, it's me.

Yeah,

doing the blue steel in New York.

Yeah, why did Nikita do the blue steel in New Canada?

Who knows at this point?

Next time.

Next time.

All right, what do we got here?

Oh, this is very exciting.

We have a new series of action figures, comedy bang, bang action figures.

We're releasing them, they're coming this September.

We have six that we're announcing, and two will be shipped out in September.

Let's see, we have this series two figures: Entre Peneur, Italiano Jones, Reggie Watts, Forville, Dalton Wilcox, and Jason Manzoukis.

All of this is coming

soon.

Entre Peneur and Italiano Jones action figures are now available for pre-order at figurecollections.com.

They'll be shipping out in September.

And also, we still have Randy Snuts and Carissa, Big Sue, Sprague the Whisperer, J.W.

Stillwater, and Scott Auckerman figures.

This is available for customers worldwide at figurecollections.com with free shipping with a U.S.

address or in Europe with cheaper import fees at actionfigureseller.com.

These are, these look really good.

I'm really excited about these.

And if you've been collecting them, you know how great these are.

All right, let's close up the old plug bag.

Open up the plug bag

2025.

All right, that was Plug in the Jungle by Sasha Natasha.

Thanks so much for that remix.

And guys, I want to thank you, Adam.

Great to see you.

Me too, man.

We ever going to do any more of our podcasts?

We have to.

All right.

Very good.

We are legally required.

Yes.

We both got into a car accident, and instead of doing traffic school,

we had to do this podcast.

And we're almost done.

We only have 2,500 more hours to go.

Is that right?

That's right.

All right.

We'll see you soon.

And then Bob PBS, good luck to you.

Thank you.

Enjoy everything in the safe.

It's bringing me peace.

I'm seeing some of your childhood mementos.

Yes.

I'm going to sell those.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

No problem.

Yeah.

It's yours.

And hey, Jim, enjoy this Jumbotron.

Thank you.

Thank you for the idea.

And I think I can't wait to meet my mother.

That's right.

I can't wait to meet your mother too.

You can turn this into a TV series.

How I Met My Mother.

Instead of How I Met Your Mother, it's How I Met My Mother.

It's a great idea.

Fantastic idea.

And Adam, you can star in this.

Oh, can I?

On skids.

On skids.

On skids plus.

Oh, my God.

How I love my mommy.

How I love my mommy.

Help me find my mommy.

Help me find my mommy and love her.

Yeah.

Sure.

All right.

We'll see you next time.

Thanks.

Bye.

Bye.

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Hey everybody, it's Paul Scheer, host of How Did This Get Made, a podcast that covers the best, worst movies.

This week, we're diving into the brand new War of the Worlds reboot starring Ice Cube.

Yes, the movie that got 2% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Ice Cube is saving the world from aliens via his computer.

It's so convoluted, this plot, but basically, if you have an Amazon account, you can save the day just like Ice Cube.

There is so much going on in this movie, so join me, June, Diane Rayfield, and Jason Manzukis, as we break down every bizarre choice and every Ice Cube one-liner on this week's episode of How Did This Get Made?

The podcast that makes sense of movies that don't.