Bonus Bang: A CBB World Speed Force Thanksgiving Special* (*It's Actually Skanksgiving)

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Speaker 2 Hey everyone, Scott Ackerman here, and welcome to another bonus bang, where we are re-releasing great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang out from behind the paywall.

Speaker 2 And guys, we have something very special this week.

Speaker 2 We did. This is called a CBB World Speed Force Thanksgiving special with the parenthetical, it's actually Skanksgiving.

Speaker 2 And this was originally released in the CBB Presents feed on November 24th, four years ago, 2021, and has only been available there until now.

Speaker 2 We're getting it out here and we're going to let everyone hear it. This, of course, was a time-bending, mind-warping adventure.
And it starred our good friend Rudy North.

Speaker 2 That's right, Sean Diston playing Rudy North. It also has Lily Sullivan, Zach Reno, Matt Apodaka, Will Hines, and Devin Field.

Speaker 2 So a great, great cast, plus incredible music and sound design done by Brett Morris. And this is a big Thanksgiving special from Rudy North.

Speaker 2 I want you to listen to this and then make sure you hear it all the way to the end, even past the wrap-up, because

Speaker 2 something very interesting happens at the very end of the episode. And you're going to want to hear it.
So listen to the whole thing.

Speaker 2 But if you enjoy this and you want to hear other great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang as well as CBB Presents, become a subscriber at cbbworld.com. We have specials like this.

Speaker 2 We have all of the past episodes from the archives, every live show we've done, ad-free new episodes, and original shows like Scott Asn's Seen, other neighborhood listen, College Town, so much great stuff over there.

Speaker 2 We're going to be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang, but until then, a happy Skanksgiving to you and yours, and enjoy this bonus bang.

Speaker 3 CBB presents.

Speaker 2 And then there was the Great Bang Bang.

Speaker 2 In an explosion of creativity and business savvy, he created CBB World,

Speaker 2 thus spawning the CBB Worldiverse.

Speaker 2 Then came Rudy North, a being of unknowable power.

Speaker 2 They connected at Speed Force Thanksgiving 1304 days ago.

Speaker 2 But since that Thanksgiving, in a mysterious set of circumstances, the Speed Force and CBB Worldiverse have become intertwined,

Speaker 2 setting in motion a series of events that will change CBB World forever.

Speaker 2 Damn, that Marvel movie was good as hell. They got some eternals in that motherfucker.
Hey, excuse me over there. Are you cleaning up this movie theater?

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's my job.

Speaker 2 Now it's your job. Yeah, that's right.
Looks like I got a new job.

Speaker 2 This is gonna be fun. I clean up all the popcorn and shit.

Speaker 2 What the hell?

Speaker 2 What the?

Speaker 2 Rudy.

Speaker 2 Rudy North.

Speaker 2 Wait, who are you?

Speaker 2 Are you

Speaker 2 me?

Speaker 2 Yes, it is I

Speaker 2 Rudy Prime Rudy North from the future. Wow, I look good as hell, man.
Black does not crack. I came here to give you a warning.
The CBB World of Earth is in trouble. What?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 we all know CBB World and the Speed Force have a mysterious connection. Well, yes, that's canon.
And the Speed Force feeds on new cannon. Canon created by you.
I actually didn't know that.

Speaker 2 Since you've been in Cannon Rehab, the Speed Force has grown weak. It's dying, Rudy.
And with it, so is the CBB Worldiverse.

Speaker 2 Well, what do I do? There's only one thing you can do. You must host a Speed Force Thanksgiving special.
And Scott has to have a good time.

Speaker 2 Future Rudy, I think I could do that. If not, the CBB worldiverse may be destroyed forever.

Speaker 2 Well, it looks like I'm off the wagon.

Speaker 2 Previously, two days ago, on Comedy Bang Bang.

Speaker 2 Okay, bye guys. Thank you so much for being on the show.
Oh, man. Woo! Time to stretch out and relax and do my post-show stretches.
And here we go. What the?

Speaker 2 Scott! Oh!

Speaker 2 Scott! It's me! It's Rudy.

Speaker 2 I made it. I made it right away.
Rudy North? That's right, Scott. I'm here, and I've got a new tease.

Speaker 2 Oh, no.

Speaker 2 What's going on? Why are you here? Scott, I need you for something. Really? I need you for the Speed Force Thanksgiving special on cbbworld.com.

Speaker 2 Okay, whatever you need.

Speaker 2 We're going into the Speed Force right now? That's right, Scott. I know I'm not supposed to be using my powers because of in the canon.
I am kind of

Speaker 2 using my powers, but but I must use them for Speed Force Thanksgiving, Scott. Are you ready? Whatever you need, buddy.
Let's do it!

Speaker 2 Welcome to the CVB World Speed Force Thanksgiving special, y'all.

Speaker 2 I'm your host, Rudy North, and I'm here with my

Speaker 2 guest of honor, co-host with the bro most.

Speaker 2 With the bro host, with the

Speaker 2 we talked about this. What do I say? Co-host with the bro broast.

Speaker 2 Because I broasted a chicken for this. My co-host with the bro broast.

Speaker 2 Coming through with the bro broast,

Speaker 2 Scotty Ackerman. Scott, how you doing? I'm great, Rudy.
So good to see you. Was I coming in hot just now?

Speaker 2 You were at least medium temperature, but you were edging up to hot. I feel like I'm coming in hot.
You definitely are hot. I'm feeling good today.
Yeah, I'm glad. Hey, I just want to make sure.

Speaker 2 Are we recording this? Because I don't talk unless I'm being recorded. Scott, this is the CBB World Speed Force Thanksgiving special.
That's good. Yeah, I need to monetize anytime I open my mouth.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't just invite you over to have dinner or some shit. Yeah, good.

Speaker 2 We got to make some fucking money, man.

Speaker 2 Now, Scott, I'm so glad you're here because I had something something to tell you, Scott. Oh, really? Oh, okay.
Well, let me guess. Let's see.
You want to tell me you are in a relationship? Yeah,

Speaker 2 that's kind of my thing. Maybe you purchased

Speaker 2 something for the holidays. Okay, so you're getting closer.
Maybe a family member has passed away. Oh,

Speaker 2 Scott, I got a new

Speaker 2 job. Oh, of course.
I should have known. You should have known that.
What was your last job? I don't remember.

Speaker 2 You're trying to clean up. I think my last job was I was a Zoom security guard.
All right.

Speaker 2 And that didn't go too well. There's not a lot of call for.
Not a lot of call at this point. You know, we'll open it up.
We're not too much on Zoom.

Speaker 2 Well, I'm so glad we could be here in person, Scott.

Speaker 2 In person.

Speaker 2 Do you have a new accent? I've got a new affectation.

Speaker 2 Scott, I'm so glad we could be here in person inside the Speed Force, Scott. Oh, my God.
Some of my most favorite times of my life have been spent in the Speed Force with you.

Speaker 2 For the people who don't know, me and Scott in 2018 celebrated our first Speed Force Thanksgiving together. Four years ago, we traveled inside the speed.

Speaker 2 You know, for those of you who don't know even this, Rudy, you have the powers of the flash. I have the powers of the flash.
I got the powers of the force from Star Wars.

Speaker 2 I do think I could stretch my arms like stretch arm strong. Dude, I've never seen that, and you've never even tried.
No, I tried to do it. One time, did not work.

Speaker 2 So, why do you think you have these powers? That's a good question, Scott. I think, therefore, I am.
Oh, okay. So it's one of those things.
But, you know, Scott, I'm so glad you're here.

Speaker 2 We're in the Speed Force for the listeners. How many times are you going to say, you're so glad I'm here?

Speaker 2 Hold on. I'm so glad I'm here.
I'm so glad I'm here. I'm so glad to be here.
I'm freaking glad to be here, Scott. Okay.

Speaker 2 Because we celebrated four years ago and we haven't really kept up the tradition of Speed Force Thanksgiving. No, I mean, honestly,

Speaker 2 the pandemic happened. It happened.

Speaker 2 And we can't, in the Speed Force, by the way, the Speed Force is about a, it's a six by six room yeah it's also very covet compliant you need to like do home testing they kind of shut the pcr test 48 hours in advance we were like fuck that they shut stuff down in the speed force months before they didn't in la yeah and i and i had been you know i'd been holding up with uh sprag the whispers you were hanging out with sprag the whisper yeah the entire pandemic and you guys were having fun huh we had a lot of fun what you guys been up to we we did not take it seriously for the first

Speaker 2 time in restaurants and shit kissing people

Speaker 2 And so, you guys have fun, you've been watching movies. That's how that's been sounded like a blast, I heard.
Yeah, oh, it's been so fun.

Speaker 2 I mean, I've missed you, obviously, but we're best friends, Sky. Oh, of course, we're best friends, but I hang out with him exclusively.
Oh, true, truly.

Speaker 2 Well, we became best friends in the Speed Force. We did.
I didn't much know that much about you or care that much about you, and then we went to the Speed Force together.

Speaker 2 We spent multiple years in the Speed Force and they came back to the very moment we left.

Speaker 2 And it's interesting because we ate, it was a lot like Picard in that one episode of Next Generation where he mentally goes into someone else's body and ages, you know, but when he gets back to his own present, he hasn't aged a day.

Speaker 2 And that was like gained the wisdom of a lifetime. Exactly.
He also knows how to play like a weird flute, which I also do. Yeah, yeah.
You do, don't you? Yeah, let me see.

Speaker 2 Let me see if you could play that weird flute. Here we go.
That's how you brought it. Let's see.
How you played it?

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's not.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you might want to flip it around. There you go.

Speaker 2 That's pretty weird. That was a lot.

Speaker 2 I got to say, that was pretty good how long did it take you 45 years to learn 45 years to learn that that is my wife was bummed oh by the way i was married in the speed force to someone else because who'd you marry oh i married uh the black racer

Speaker 2 oh yes the black racer yes from the canon of you know the flash yeah of course yeah well i mean we share canon with the flash yes we all the same way you share the the

Speaker 2 the canon of the star wars the canon of the powers of the flash as well i have the powers of the flash but you know scott the last time we talked i was in canon rehab

Speaker 2 yeah i remember something about that and you're and your um

Speaker 2 your sponsor was sponsored cake boss yeah and i just had a lot of trouble recently too with like you know up his hand yeah he like nailed his hand into a cake or something i don't remember what that dude was but you know the last time i was here i said i'd never use my flash powers again right but i thought to myself it's speed force thanksgiving We got to get the homies together.

Speaker 2 Got to get the homies together. And look, there might be some sort of convoluted reason why we need to do this to save the CBB worldiverse.
I'm just here for

Speaker 2 no right now, Scott. You're about to have the best speed for Skanksgiving.

Speaker 2 Skanksgiving. Skanksgiving

Speaker 2 that you've ever had in your life, Scott.

Speaker 2 It's going to be a Skanksgiving. Basically, when all the Skanks from Halloween, who have dressed up like slutty versions of whatever, they forget to change for a month.

Speaker 2 And then they come and they're like, what are y'all eating turkey in here?

Speaker 2 That's Thanksgiving, Scott. Now, Scott, are you ready to explore your own life scott i don't know what that means so i i couldn't tell you if i'm ready i probably am because the meaning

Speaker 2 but don't scott the meaning of speed force thanksgiving as we all know is to reflect on the things that you are thankful for scott i didn't realize that that's almost like regular thanksgiving it is oh hold up let me check my twitter real quick

Speaker 2 Regular Thanksgiving is canceled. What?

Speaker 2 Regular Thanksgiving is canceled. The word Thanksgiving should not be used anymore.
They finally canceled Thanksgiving. God, this is canceled culture.
Control. Cancel.
Okay.

Speaker 2 So I think we can't say Thanksgiving, Scott, because you know the history of Thanksgiving is tainted, Scott. Oh, I mean, yeah, on both sides.
Both sides. Some very fine people.

Speaker 2 There's fine people on both sides. It's tainted on both sides, Scott.
So, you know what? I think we should rename this thing right off the bat. Okay, what do you let's spitball some ideas?

Speaker 2 I want to call it.

Speaker 2 we could call it Skanksgiving. We kind of already have that.
Yeah, it's pretty good, actually. We just stumbled into it.
Okay, is it better? Okay. Are we?

Speaker 2 I know you came in with something that you were very fond of, but let's just put it up against Skanksgiving. Yeah, yeah.
Am I going to

Speaker 2 get canceled for saying Speed Force Thanksgiving or Speed Force Skanksgiving? I like Skanksgiving. I don't know.
Okay. Okay, here's what we're going to call it.

Speaker 2 A CBB World Speed Force Thanksgiving special. Asterisks, actually, it's Skanksgiving.
Okay. Okay, all right.
I think we won't get canceled for that. No, no, no.

Speaker 2 How could two guys like you and me get canceled? I'm cancel-proof, baby. I punch people in the throat all the time.
I steal people's jobs. I am cancel-proof, Scott.
Yeah, exactly. And so am I, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're right. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 Oh, your eyes are darting around really. Yeah, let's just don't listen to the CBB archives.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd say start at episode 600, if to be safe.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's probably around when we start, really. Well, Scott, Thanksgiving, I mean, Thanksgiving can only be celebrated in the Speed Force with friends and families.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 Well, four years ago, it was just you and me. It was just you and me.
Of course, the Black Racer. And the Black Racer and the Reverse Flash.
Yeah. And I think King Shark was in there.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 But the Weather Wizard. The Weather Wizard was in there.

Speaker 2 He was to eat. And then, like, was like, oh, God, I got another thing.
He's got another thing. And I'm like, okay, Weather Wizard.
He's going home to jack off or something.

Speaker 2 Weather Wizard always jacket it off. Jack it off in a in like a sleep storm he's crazy that's dick now

Speaker 2 scott i have

Speaker 2 gone into your history into your past into your soul scott not the cbb archives no no no no no okay kind of hovering starting around episode 600 good i have assembled a motley crew of a thanksgiving family scott oh with you like you've brought in

Speaker 2 Some of my favorite guests of all time? Some of the most iconic

Speaker 2 of the most memorable.

Speaker 2 I say iconic too, baby.

Speaker 2 Some of the most iconic, memorable guests that I think, when you had them on, I think when it was over, you said, we need to be friends outside of this. I want to invite you to actual things.

Speaker 2 Okay, this is amazing. I mean, the mind is just reeling of who could possibly be.
What are you thinking about? Jason Manzukas or something? Oh, of course. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 you know, probably Santa Claus or something.

Speaker 2 Not too far.

Speaker 2 You guys get into a lot of fights.

Speaker 2 But, Scott, I'm about to fetch our first guest okay i'm so excited but in order to do that i do have to dip into the speed force scott oh okay yeah that's understandable you're are you picking up these guests from i'm picking up these guys these guests from episodes past oh okay this episode

Speaker 2 god i don't even

Speaker 2 know

Speaker 2 Sometime last year, sometime hovering around the 600s. Scott, you ready to meet this guest? Oh, yeah, definitely.
Oh, I'm God. This is amazing that you would do this for me.
Here we go.

Speaker 2 I'm about to go. And

Speaker 2 Scott. Oh, my God.
You're all sweaty? I'm all sweaty. That was really hard.
Scott. Wait, were you jacking off too? No, Scott.

Speaker 2 I mean, look, when you're running another wizard, I will say, when you're running through time, there is a sort of friction that happens on your body that is very hot. Very pleasurable.

Speaker 2 It is very pleasurable. Okay.
But, Scott, I have brought one of your favorite guests, Francesca Bolognese.

Speaker 6 Scott, what the heck am I doing here?

Speaker 2 Hi, Francesca. How are you?

Speaker 6 Hi.

Speaker 2 Hi. Hi, Francesca.

Speaker 6 Scott, you look about four years older.

Speaker 2 I just saw you

Speaker 2 last month. Probably like three months ago.

Speaker 2 Sorry.

Speaker 2 Sorry. I guess you had a rough few months ago.

Speaker 2 Francesca, how are you? Thank you for being here. Welcome to Speed Force Thanksgiving.

Speaker 6 Thank you for having me.

Speaker 2 I'm honored.

Speaker 2 Sprague.

Speaker 2 What's your name, Rudy? Oh, my name is Rudy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I used to talking to my best friend,

Speaker 2 my other friend, Sprague. Yeah, I wouldn't bring that up again.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 What is she doing here?

Speaker 2 She's one of your favorite guests, Francesca Polonesi. Francesca Polonesi? Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2 She hates me. No, no,

Speaker 2 that cannot be true. Oh, okay.
All right. Hey, Francesca, I'm so glad you're, I'm so honored you're here.

Speaker 6 I heard everything you guys said.

Speaker 2 She

Speaker 6 So just

Speaker 2 said everything you guys said. No, what do you mean?

Speaker 6 Listen,

Speaker 6 I want to start a clean slate, okay?

Speaker 2 I'm going to have a good time today. Okay, well, thank you for coming to speed for.
I did dip into the episode and pull your ass out and said, we're about to have Thanksgiving dinner, come with me.

Speaker 2 And you said, okay, whatever. Oh, in the middle of the episode? Yeah, yeah.
I pulled him out in the middle of the episode. Like the mid-sentence? No, it was kind of around plugs.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 During the actual plugs.

Speaker 6 I was talking about the new Twitter handle that I found out about. Oh, L-I-L-Y.
Why I'm not sure.

Speaker 2 It's too confusing. It's kind of wasteful.
It's not confusing at all. It's a very simple thing.
That'd be kind of wasteful if you had that as a Twitter handle.

Speaker 6 No, it's not my Twitter handle. Jason Mensutkis.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay. Oh, he's here.
He's coming. No, no, no, he's not.
Jason Mensukka. I don't think it.
I mean, maybe. Maybe.

Speaker 2 Keep hopes up. All right.
Now, Francesca. Yes.

Speaker 2 Tell me about your connection to Thanksgiving. Are you happy to be here today? Are you going to...
They even celebrated?

Speaker 2 Where are you from again?

Speaker 6 I am from Italy. I am from Sardinia.

Speaker 2 Okay. That's why I am so small.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 interesting.

Speaker 2 Have we talked about how small you are?

Speaker 6 We have not

Speaker 2 come up.

Speaker 6 I don't know that there is ever come up.

Speaker 2 You started doing the show when we were on Zoom. I can't remember.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 6 exactly. So you guys don't know that.

Speaker 2 So you were that big sardine can you were sitting on, that wasn't like a big chair. That was an actual sardine can.

Speaker 6 Yeah, exactly. So I am

Speaker 6 one foot.

Speaker 2 One foot

Speaker 2 tall. One foot tall.
One foot.

Speaker 2 Twelve inches?

Speaker 6 Twelve. Thirteen inches.
Okay. If you want to on the other side of the corner.

Speaker 2 There's an easy way to prove this. Let me

Speaker 2 know. Is it my pants?

Speaker 2 So six of those

Speaker 2 and a half. Six and a half.

Speaker 2 Now Francesca, okay, so you're from Italy, so you you're not that familiar with Thanksgiving or something.

Speaker 6 Well I I have lived in the US for a long time now and I I have to say I think Thanksgiving is so fucking stupid.

Speaker 6 I think it is the stupidest little holiday.

Speaker 2 What do you mean?

Speaker 6 Well, okay, so I work for Bed Beth and Beyond, as we all know.

Speaker 2 We all do. Bed Beth and Beyond.
Bet Beth and Beyond.

Speaker 6 They open a new

Speaker 6 department called Bed Beth and Holiday.

Speaker 2 Okay. So what happened in Beyond?

Speaker 6 Well, this is just an offshoot of Bed Beth and Beyond.

Speaker 2 So when you go into Bed Bath and Holiday, there's nothing beyond.

Speaker 6 Everything is beyond. Oh.

Speaker 2 Is this like the metaverse? Yes.

Speaker 6 Everything is beyond that. But specifically, Bet Beth and Holiday, we specialize in only holiday stuff.
So I have to work on the stupidest days.

Speaker 6 And people come in, oh, can I get a turkey?

Speaker 2 Can I get a turkey?

Speaker 2 That might be their problem. They might be confused.

Speaker 6 It's a lot of meats, a lot of.

Speaker 2 What meat?

Speaker 2 Okay, I realize they changed the name of the store. Okay, so Bait Bath and holidays, kind of now a butcher shop.

Speaker 6 Yes, so people come, you know, can I kid the chicken or need some stuffing?

Speaker 2 Chicken isn't even Thanksgiving related. It's kind of weird if they would want to chicken.
Unless it's like a major dog or something.

Speaker 6 But so anyway, everybody come back. Oh, I want to return my turkey.
It tastes like a wood chip.

Speaker 2 So when they buy a turkey, they want to return. And they can return it.

Speaker 6 And of course, well, they try to return it. They come to me.
I work in retars.

Speaker 6 They come, they say, oh, I to eat this turkey. It tastes like wood chip.

Speaker 6 Okay, I'm on the return it. Or I have my this mashed potato.
It tastes like a bunch of little wood chip.

Speaker 2 Are you guys advertising that you sell food and then sell people wood chips? Because that would be odd, y'all.

Speaker 6 I mean, no, this is a high quality, best, bad, and beyond style. It is the finest quality.

Speaker 2 So, you, so, are you working on Thanksgiving? Is that what you're saying? You don't get to celebrate with your own family, Francesca?

Speaker 6 Well, I don't want to celebrate with my husband, Keith.

Speaker 2 We talked about Keith.

Speaker 2 I don't know that he's ever come up.

Speaker 6 He's come up. I don't know that that's actually his name.

Speaker 2 Oh, well.

Speaker 6 But no, Keith.

Speaker 2 In the Speed Force, in the Speed Force, everything is canon.

Speaker 6 Keith is always, oh, can you come to my family's house to spend Thanksgiving with my mom, Sandra, and my dad, Thomas?

Speaker 2 He knows you remember.

Speaker 6 And I say I think not this year I think I work at Beta de Munistech

Speaker 6 but really you know I would not go I think thanksgiving is so stupid why you have to be so grateful for your stupid fucking life your life will suck okay but okay

Speaker 6 you have a bad life but it's kind of like okay you don't have anything to be thankful for Francesca I am

Speaker 6 I mean, I have a good life, so but I doesn't mean I have to be

Speaker 2 you hate your husband you seem to be very obsessed

Speaker 6 job you hate me i think well yes but my life my life is not as bad as say some guy named brad who work at like uh communications

Speaker 6 some kind of financial place okay and that guy life's so stupid why do they thank you for that

Speaker 2 yeah i guess so i got but i guess i i think everyone feels that way about their own life like someone would look look at you and go, like, oh, my God, she's married to Keith

Speaker 2 with, you know, whose parents are Sandra and

Speaker 2 Thomas. Thomas, right.
You know, and she works at Bed Bath and Beyond. And why does she have to be thankful for her stupid life?

Speaker 6 You know, my life is so good.

Speaker 2 Well, you should be thankful. That was the perfect reason.
You want to be thankful, but you don't think anyone else in the world deserves to be thankful.

Speaker 6 Exactly. Well, I think everybody here have really low standards for their lives.
Their lives are so bad.

Speaker 2 Okay,

Speaker 2 so Scott, for instance, he's got a lot to be thankful for. I don't know.
He's got, you know, he's got a beautiful wife. He's got

Speaker 2 a beautiful career. Why is that where your mind goes immediately? Scott has a lot going on.
He's got a banging-ass wife.

Speaker 2 Great dogs. An incredible career in them, too.
Best friends. Yeah.
Like me.

Speaker 2 Yeah, sure. Okay.
So you're saying Scott has nothing to be thankful for? I mean, that's crazy.

Speaker 6 I think in Scott's mind, he has a lot to be thankful for. But from outsider's perspective, no thank you.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 This is some beat shit to be said on Thanksgiving. On Skanksgiving.

Speaker 2 Oh, by the way,

Speaker 6 for Halloween this year, I want to tell you about my sexy costume.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well,

Speaker 2 yeah. What was your sexy costume?

Speaker 6 For Halloween this year, I was a Denido Vital, but sexy.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay, so bald cap

Speaker 2 with hair in the back, I would imagine. Yes.
Like, but not in a specific role, like the penguin or Louis de Ponti.

Speaker 6 From Matilda.

Speaker 2 Oh, from Matilda. Oh, was that what he was at his sexiest?

Speaker 6 I think, yes.

Speaker 2 Okay, so, like, with a G-string or

Speaker 6 no pants, no pants at all.

Speaker 2 So, he's Donald Duck?

Speaker 6 Just the one, yeah, Donald Duck style. So, just a top and no bottom.

Speaker 2 Okay, so what did you do? Did you make it from the waist out? I just wanted to establish this. Did you have like a packing pitis or something to make it look like this is clearly dirty?

Speaker 6 Packing peanut Packing penis.

Speaker 2 It's a prostate.

Speaker 2 It's a sex toy used in the lesbian community to simulate a penis.

Speaker 2 Aren't you guys thankful that you learned that piece of information?

Speaker 6 I love it. That was the best information I ever learned.
I still don't understand what it is.

Speaker 2 Are you simulating the...

Speaker 2 Because I would imagine you're using your own pubic hair and then putting a fake penis on top of it.

Speaker 6 No pubic hair.

Speaker 2 I don't need to know that. Okay, okay.
I didn't know that that was Danny DeVito.

Speaker 6 Nobody's in Sardinia. Nobody has pubic hair.
No,

Speaker 2 everybody. Very small.
No. Yeah, you can't waste any

Speaker 2 surface area on pubic hair when you're that small. Did you want to be Danny DeVito? Because he's almost.

Speaker 2 How tall is he? He's like two feet three or something like that?

Speaker 6 He is a big guy.

Speaker 2 Well, to you, yeah. He's huge.
Francesco, what? So you like Halloween. Is Halloween a fun time at Halloween?

Speaker 6 I love it. I take my son.
We go to the different clubs.

Speaker 2 You never talked about your son.

Speaker 6 Yes, I haven't talked about my son. Again, I don't remember his name.

Speaker 6 No, my son's name is Daniel.

Speaker 2 Why do you say it like that? You seem contemptuous of anyone else. Anytime you say a name, it just seems like you're upset.

Speaker 6 No, it's just a stupid American name.

Speaker 2 Oh, did your husband force you to name?

Speaker 6 Yes, it's my grandfather name Daniel.

Speaker 2 What did you want? I mean, what's it like a Sardinian name?

Speaker 6 For me, I would do something like

Speaker 2 what do you say?

Speaker 2 Gualique?

Speaker 6 Qualica Pacanini.

Speaker 2 Qualika Pecanini. Is that two names or is that like one name?

Speaker 2 It's a hyphenated name. Oh, hyphenated.
Gualina Peccanini. Interesting.
Or

Speaker 6 Arancini.

Speaker 2 Arancini.

Speaker 2 That is a pretty tight name.

Speaker 6 That's a pretty nice name.

Speaker 2 What about Rudy?

Speaker 2 No, that isn't. Same.
Same Rudy. Rudy.
How does it come off the tongue? Rudy. Okay.

Speaker 2 You have this affectation like you're imitating a dumb American.

Speaker 2 You did sound a little Cosby at that moment.

Speaker 2 Rudy.

Speaker 2 Thanksgiving.

Speaker 2 You know, Cosby.

Speaker 6 That's going to get canceled right now.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we can't talk about Cosby. Do you realize that his name on the show wasn't just Cliff? It was Heathcliff.
It was Heathcliff.

Speaker 6 Yeah, he was on the show. Wow.

Speaker 2 He was on the Cosby show. Oh, no.

Speaker 6 That he went on the Comedy Bangwing.

Speaker 2 Oh, but I'm thinking.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 6 Because in your archives, I thought,

Speaker 2 well, you know, don't listen to the archives. I wouldn't fuck in the archives.
Yeah. Well, Francesca, I'm sorry we brought you here.

Speaker 2 I thought you'd be a person who'd be excited to come to dinner with me and Scott and record us.

Speaker 6 I guess it is fine for me. You know, it's better than being with my family.

Speaker 2 Yeah, or at the store, I guess. Well, I mean, but you were pulled, it's not Thanksgiving for you in your reality.

Speaker 2 You were pulled from the middle of an episode.

Speaker 6 I was pulled from the middle of an episode, yes.

Speaker 2 But how was that episode going? Oh, so good.

Speaker 6 I get so many lives.

Speaker 2 Yeah. It's true.
Everybody afterward is going to tell me, wow, you blew me away.

Speaker 6 Scott going to say, please come back, please, please. I beg you.

Speaker 2 Scott, that's what I want to see. I want to have you.

Speaker 2 I mean, I just show up in my producer as book guests.

Speaker 6 Oh, please, Francesca. We need you.
The show is doing so badly. Will you please come back? You are the one who is.

Speaker 2 Yeah, this sounds kind of

Speaker 2 the kind of thing you do. You get down like sort of cuck.
Now, Francesca.

Speaker 2 I have low tea. Yeah, you do have low tea.

Speaker 2 Yes, Canon is B-force. Now, Francesca.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Bed, Bath, and Holiday. Drowning out the holidays coming up with the December season coming around.
You got Christmas. You got Kwanzaa.
You got Hanukkah. Yes.
Boxing Day. You got Boxing Day.

Speaker 2 You got New Year's.

Speaker 6 Boxing Day.

Speaker 2 How are things around the store in that time?

Speaker 2 Do you start to feel like people are returning less food and having more fun?

Speaker 6 Wow, such a good question.

Speaker 2 I'm a great interviewer. I think

Speaker 6 what happened usually about the Christmas time is everybody coming in, they say, oh my gosh,

Speaker 6 things are going crazy for us. We need to come up with a ham for Thanksgiving.

Speaker 6 Can you please give us a ham? They need to come up with a bunch of things.

Speaker 2 We come up with a ham for Thanksgiving. So they're in a bind where they...
something's going on where they need a ham. And they need to come up with it.

Speaker 6 But they always have to come up with a ham as soon as possible.

Speaker 2 There's maybe some ham shortage. Are you sure you're not misinterpreting what these people? You think there's no language barrier thing going on?

Speaker 6 Oh, no, I understand perfectly everything that they say.

Speaker 2 What do you say back to them?

Speaker 6 And I say, okay, I have something for you, you little stupid idiot.

Speaker 2 So you say it at that volume?

Speaker 6 And I give them.

Speaker 6 I give them one of the bedbed be on the hams.

Speaker 6 Bet better than be on the ham.

Speaker 2 And that's what it's called.

Speaker 6 And then they come back to me. Oh, it tastes like a wood chip.

Speaker 6 So, can I get something else?

Speaker 6 Which, for me, at this point, I'm like, why do you keep coming back here? You guys see you at Thanksgiving. I see you now again.

Speaker 2 Sounds like they came once and then they were dissatisfied with the product, so they came back again. That's why they came back.
Exactly. They wanted their money back.

Speaker 6 So I just tell them, listen, why you not take your big, fat, stupid eye?

Speaker 6 Go fly into a river of blood and soak in the blood and die.

Speaker 2 You know, Francesca, it sounds like you don't like your job.

Speaker 6 I love my job.

Speaker 6 My favorite job.

Speaker 2 Do they love you in it, or are they just concerned that if they were to fire you, it would be like, you're so short. Like, it's almost like you have a disability.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's gotta look like they're just keeping you on because it's kind of illegal to fire you. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Well, they say to me, I honestly think they may not know I still work there.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay.

Speaker 6 I basically am in the deli inside of the counter.

Speaker 2 So there's a deli.

Speaker 6 So I kind of hanging out inside with the meats and

Speaker 2 that's right.

Speaker 2 Which is like a mansion to you.

Speaker 6 It's huge. It smells so good.
But my husband always says, why do you not come back home?

Speaker 2 How big is your husband?

Speaker 6 He is a 10-feet tall.

Speaker 2 10 feet tall? 10 feet tall. This is a fucked up relationship.
But you got to be thankful because you've got yourself a fine, tall man.

Speaker 6 And I am very thankful because that is the number one most important thing for a woman.

Speaker 2 Find a tall man.

Speaker 2 Does he think you're a pet?

Speaker 2 Like, does he are you married to him or does he think you're like a cat?

Speaker 6 Well, he put me in his pocket.

Speaker 6 He kind of walked around the neighborhood. He showed me off.
He said, please don't touch.

Speaker 2 This sounds like a relationship.

Speaker 6 This sounds like a healthy male relationship.

Speaker 2 This sounds

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Speaker 2 Wow. Well, Francesca, thank you for being here.
I didn't know you hated Thanksgiving. I wouldn't have pulled you here.

Speaker 6 Do you hate it Thanksgiving? No, no, it's fine. I'm happy to see you, but not Scott.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow. Jeez, man, this is really putting a damper on my good time.
Sorry, you know what, Scott?

Speaker 2 Don't mind, Francesca. She's here.
She's going to have a great time. Okay.
Maybe I should pull. Yeah, get a good guest.
Let me get a good guest. You know what? Someone I really,

Speaker 2 but I mean, you're a great guest. But I'm going to get a Hall of Fame guest.
Okay, yeah, great. Now we're going to get a Hall of Fame guest.
We're going to get to really celebrate this thing.

Speaker 2 Let's get the family, Scott. Okay, yeah, the fam.
Here we go. Here we go.
I'm running into the speed force.

Speaker 2 My nose is bleeding this time. Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 2 Scott, I have pulled from episode 641.

Speaker 2 641. I'm trying to remember.

Speaker 2 What was that? 641. Somewhere where you were.
You were definitely not saying anything cancelable by that time. No, yeah.
But he's one of your favorite guests, Scott. Dash Grab him is here, Scott.

Speaker 2 Scott!

Speaker 2 Hey!

Speaker 2 You remember Dash Grab him, right? Yeah, I remember Dash Grab him. Yeah, last time I left, I heard you shouting from the room.
I don't know anything that guy just said.

Speaker 2 I'd rather he didn't come back. He was confusing.
Is that really what happened? When I left? Yeah. Yeah, he thought he couldn't hear me, but I was hiding.
What? What? You were hiding? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like Jay Leno style? Who's that? Oh, he's not a Pokemon. I saw your eyes light up.
I'll catch a Jay Leno and I'll add him to my collection.

Speaker 2 I'm trying to think of what his strengths might be and his weaknesses.

Speaker 2 It sounds like a denim type to me.

Speaker 2 Anyway, I do a lot of hiding. You got to be hiding all the time.

Speaker 2 Well, Dash, I'm sorry that's the way that episode ended, but I wanted to welcome you to Speed Force Thanksgiving. Hey, thanks.
Who are you? Oh, I'm Rudy North, of course. Whoa.

Speaker 2 You want to listen to my previously on? What's that? Nevermind.

Speaker 2 Now, Dash, thank you for being here. I wanted to introduce you to Francesca Bolognese.
Hi, Francesca.

Speaker 6 Hi, nice to meet you.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 she's great. She is, isn't she? She's so small.
Yeah. She's about as big as a Pokemon for a dash.
Or maybe not. Maybe Pokemons are huge.
I have no idea.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you know, you just described two different options for Pokemon.

Speaker 2 Some are small, some are big. Yeah.
The world is wide and full of wonder, and each and every Pokemon is different and unique in its own way.

Speaker 2 But they all have lessons to teach us if we're only wise enough to listen.

Speaker 2 Wow. This guy sucks.

Speaker 2 And then we take them and we make them fight brutal battles against each other. Okay, squinting the earth beneath them.
Asserting dominance over each other to win trophy and money-money prizes.

Speaker 2 Well, now, Dash, that's a lot to take in. Sure.
Now, thank you for being here. I'm really happy to be here.
Just wanted to repeat that for Scott Francesca. I'm happy to be anywhere at all times.

Speaker 6 Nice 3D medium about being here.

Speaker 2 We know that, Francesca. Now, what's your relationship to Thanksgiving, Dash? Are you a celebrator of Thanksgiving?

Speaker 2 Do you have it in the Kanto region? That's where I'm from, Scott. You remember.
Right, Scott, you do like this guy.

Speaker 2 There's a lot of innkeepers who have food. They got food? Yeah.

Speaker 2 There's a lot of hospitals. There's a lot of police stations.
There's a lot of Italian restaurants where mob bosses hide.

Speaker 2 There's a lot of bushes that you cannot get through. Okay.
I've seen bushes in this world, and you can just like go through those bad boys. Yeah.
I mean, you're bigger than a bush.

Speaker 2 These are rock-solid bushes. You try to go through these bushes, you can't do it.
Okay, but what about Thanksgiving? What's that? Oh, yeah. No, we don't have that.

Speaker 2 As I understand it, that's the holiday that y'all celebrate, where you sort of celebrate your sort of

Speaker 2 subjugation and problematic time

Speaker 2 of this land that you then took. And they're like, Can we have it back? And everyone thinks that that would be ridiculous for some reason.
Right, right.

Speaker 2 Well, today we're celebrating Skanksgiving, so you don't got to worry about it. Oh, I'd tell you about my sexy Halloween costume.
Okay, yeah, I guess. Where were you?

Speaker 2 I guess that, yeah, let's hear about it. I was a

Speaker 2 sex

Speaker 2 sea bicycle. Okay.
Wow. Sexy bicycle.
Yeah. How's this out?

Speaker 2 You know, you got on a bicycle and you can suddenly go so much faster than you could before. Okay, yeah.
We're waiting for the sexy part. That's the, what do you mean?

Speaker 2 That's the sexy part that you can go so much faster than you could if you were just walking around because now you're a sexy bicycle. Okay.

Speaker 2 Like, I don't think going fast is what you want in sex i think like you usually want to go slow and long you know from what i'm going to be totally honest with you so

Speaker 2 i am not a hundred percent certain on like what sexiness is oh have you ever i mean have you ever been in a relationship dash or yeah i mean because how old are you again 12.

Speaker 2 right okay yeah maybe we shouldn't be talking

Speaker 2 how do you think how do people reproduce in the kanto reach i mean is it something that you learn in school i'm not supposed to say but you say i can say it yeah you can say fuck rudy

Speaker 2 Oh, geez. What did you say?

Speaker 2 You can say it out loud. You can say it fuck.
That's how they do it.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Do you ever see people doing it? I mean, they don't know. I'm sneaking around.
I'm not supposed to know.

Speaker 2 Well, I don't do it. I don't purposely try to find people having sex.
But as I said before, I'm always hiding. So sometimes you're in a place and people don't know you're there.

Speaker 2 I'm just trying to catch a Zigzagoon. I'm just hanging out trying to find a

Speaker 2 Zigzagoon. And then you're there.
All of a sudden. And then people start having sex.
Ooh, there's no one there. Bad for two reasons.
One, now I gotta watch sex.

Speaker 2 Two, you don't scared away all the Zigzagoon. Yeah.

Speaker 6 You seem to like the sex, though. You say

Speaker 6 it's kind of fun, huh?

Speaker 2 I feel torn about it. On the one hand, I'm like, ew.
On the other hand, I'm like, okay.

Speaker 2 What's the best sex you've ever seen?

Speaker 2 Okay. Describe it.
Apart from the Zigzagoon part. Yeah, I guess if the Zigzagoon got in there, sure.
Well, it didn't, but then they left. And then I caught a Zigzagoon.

Speaker 2 Okay, so that's what I was doing. That was the best sex.

Speaker 2 That sex ended with me having a Zigzagoon. Do I want to ask what a Zigzagoon is?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 Oh, you do. So.

Speaker 2 Okay, what is a Zigzagoon?

Speaker 2 In your world, you know, like a raccoon?

Speaker 2 Take the nose. Okay.
Pull it out. Okay.
Now it's far away from where it was before. It's long and pointy.
Now take the stripes. Run those bad boys all the way up and down that raccoon.

Speaker 2 They're striped from tip to tail. Okay.
Now give it powers, Rudy. Okay, I don't want to.
Give it pointing powers.

Speaker 2 All right. That's a Zigzagoon.
Okay, I guess I'd rather watch people. I choose a Zigzagoon, you know what I mean? I don't.
No, I don't. I choose a Zigzagoon every day.
Oh, God. What does that mean?

Speaker 2 Wait, are you having sex with a Zigzagoon? You can say it's enslaved? Dash, you could say it. I don't think so.

Speaker 2 Okay, okay. What are you doing with it? Because maybe you don't know what sex is.
I say, Zigzagoon, scratch.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 I say, Zigzagoon, dig.

Speaker 2 Shout it real loud.

Speaker 2 And then he does it. Okay.
Interesting. Do you still have Andy Richter

Speaker 2 in your Pokemon? No, I did have a long conversation with Officer Jenny who said you can't take Andy Richter around with you in a little tiny void. Right.

Speaker 2 You have actual humans.

Speaker 2 Yeah, which I sort of knew, but it's one of those laws that it's like,

Speaker 2 you gotta, as a Pokemon trainer, you gotta push the boundaries.

Speaker 2 If you want to be the very best like no one ever was, you gotta be willing to sort of break a few eggs. You want to make it all like.

Speaker 2 I know it's a more recent law, but yeah, you can't really keep humans anymore. You can keep animals, though, and make them do whatever you want, usually.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Now, I kind of see you right now sort of edging over to Francesca with that little...

Speaker 2 Yeah, with your Pokemon ball. What is it? I don't think you should try to capture.
She is a guest of ours. Okay, but she's so small.
I know. She's in your shirt.
She also doesn't have any pubic hair.

Speaker 2 She doesn't have any.

Speaker 6 How did they talk about my pubic hair, Scott? You fucking creep.

Speaker 2 You talked about it, man.

Speaker 6 Daniel talked about my pubic hair.

Speaker 2 And you were so punctual.

Speaker 6 What the fuck is the road?

Speaker 2 It makes you look like a Pokemon because Pokemons don't have pubic hair, right? Right? Help me out here, Dash.

Speaker 2 Some of them got so much, Scott.

Speaker 2 Like which ones? The real fluffy ones.

Speaker 2 That's pubics?

Speaker 2 Like Ursa Ring?

Speaker 2 That's pubic? You know, you say some of these references, they kind of go over by Scott's head, sure. But could you...

Speaker 2 Here's what I want to ask you, Dash. Okay.
Because I'm tired of talking about this Pokemon bullshit. Yeah, move on.
Away from it. Dash, it's Thanksgiving here in the Speed Force.
Thanksgiving.

Speaker 2 Hashtag Skanksgiving. Hashtag Skanksgiving, Rudy.
What do you have to be thankful for this season, Dash? Well, I found something recently that I...

Speaker 2 That really changed my life a lot, Rudy. And I'm very, very thankful for it.
Wow. And Legion?

Speaker 2 In a way, it is now. Okay, I found rare candy.

Speaker 2 You found rare candy? I found rare candy.

Speaker 6 Like, it's not cooked all the way through.

Speaker 2 You know, that like a well-done Reese's pieces. That might be true.
I don't know what it is, and I don't know where it comes from.

Speaker 2 I find it in the weirdest places, sometimes in boxes, sometimes in the corpses of Pokemon who I have defeated. Did you bring any for our feast? Yeah, you want some? Here, take some.
Okay, hopefully.

Speaker 2 That's how you share food for Thanksgiving, right?

Speaker 2 This is so rare. let me tell you

Speaker 2 if you eat this okay you're gonna can i say it ready you can say you're gonna feel fucking fantastic

Speaker 2 boy dash is growing he's gonna make you at that age right you know

Speaker 2 in the speed force time moves a little bit differently yeah it's gonna make you feel strong okay it's gonna make your bones grow now hold on

Speaker 2 i don't want that i like being small so hold

Speaker 6 yeah

Speaker 2 okay

Speaker 2 dash this thing you put in front of us kind of looks like a couple lines of powder. And

Speaker 2 what are we supposed to do with this? I think you put it right up your nose. Okay, okay.

Speaker 2 Should we, I mean, should we do something?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I guess we should. This is rare.

Speaker 2 A man in the corner gave me this one. I said, Do you have any rare candy? He said, nose candy.
I said, yes. Okay.
And then he wanted to insult Dash over here, which is probably, probably. All right.

Speaker 2 Give me a. Oh, oh, shit.

Speaker 2 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 6 I think it's too much.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Francesca, you're like, it was just a regular line, but to her, it's like a giant.

Speaker 6 I cannot feel my tongue.

Speaker 2 It's okay. That's your tongue and head leveling up.
I got to say, I am feeling very good. I'm feeling really good right now.
This is good. I mean, this is this.
Skankskivi is looking good.

Speaker 2 Skatesgiving's looking up. I feel like I came in very hot earlier.
I was cooling off. And I'm hot again.
You're hot as hell. Super effective, Rudy.

Speaker 2 Dash, I'm so glad you came through with that rare candy. Thank you so much for being here.
It's a pleasure. Also, Brock Curry.
It's the only thing we eat, really, most of the time. Curry? Curry.

Speaker 2 Bunch of curry.

Speaker 2 Okay, okay, well, maybe what is that pass on the curry but if you have any more uh that fun candy yeah if you got any more of that red candy like stop holding out on me well i gotta give some of the zigzagman but you'll share what i got Okay, sure, yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 But maybe, yeah, maybe me and Scott could put some money together, and then you could go hit up your guy. Your guy, yeah, who has all the guy in the corner? Where was he?

Speaker 2 You said is he in the Kanto region? I wish I could remember. No, he's here.
He's here. Okay, cool.
He's here at the Speed Force? Yeah. Okay, I might know this guy.
I might know this guy.

Speaker 2 This might be Black Racer, to be honest. Oh, okay.
I don't want to see Black Racer. You don't want to see Black Racer.

Speaker 2 And it's black because his costume is black. Yeah, no, we're not talking about the broken.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he's saying anything like that. Oh, Dash, man.
Thank you. So, Dash,

Speaker 2 you have brought in some energy that maybe Francesca did not bring in. What the heck? Not in a way.

Speaker 2 Probably.

Speaker 2 It might have been my fault. I might have pulled some of the wrong.
You know, Scott, I haven't used my powers in a long time. No, yeah.
So I'm pulling people out. I feel like I have powers right now.

Speaker 2 You're pulling a group of people that were supposed to alienate Scott, make him feel alone? No. Oh.
Oh, is that what I was supposed to do? Okay, that might have been the mistake.

Speaker 2 Because so far with these first two guests, it seems like, you know,

Speaker 2 they're not my favorite. No, no, no.
I no longer can feel my legs. Okay, you'll be okay, Frances.

Speaker 2 You'll be okay. Just lean up against that match box.
Now, okay. You know what? Here, here's a little champagne.

Speaker 2 You know, one of those things you

Speaker 2 twist off of the... Just sit on this.
Oh, you mean a cork? Yeah, no, not a cork, but the little metal thing.

Speaker 2 The little metal thing. Yeah, this is like a beach champion.
It does look like a tiny stool when you take it off the top of the champagne. Exactly.
Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 Can I have the champagne? Dash, you can have a little bit of champagne just because it's the holidays. I'm going to drink all of it, okay? All right.
Do whatever you want.

Speaker 2 Wow. Okay.
You know what, Scott? I'm actually, I might have fucked up. Really? I might have fucked up.

Speaker 2 I was underestimating the level of guests that we need in order to have a successful Thanksgiving special. Okay, so, but now you're going to course correct.
I'm going to course correct.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to get Jason Manzukas just yet. Okay, all right, but I am gonna bring one of your all-time faves, Scott.
Oh, boy. Here we go.

Speaker 2 I'm gearing up to run it to the speed for it. Here we go.

Speaker 2 Ah!

Speaker 2 Ah, shit. Okay, I hit my toe and I was covered in.
Woo! All right, I'm back. It's huge and red.
It is, it's like it is throbbing like one of them Tom and Jerry cartoons.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but it's gonna be all worth it because, Scott, I brought one of your best friends, Buck Tango, Scott. Who?

Speaker 2 Hey, it's, hello, it's me, Buck Tango. Buck Tango.

Speaker 2 This is, you know,

Speaker 2 I hate to say this this way. Rudy, you did, you fucked up.

Speaker 2 What do you mean, Buck? I mean, I'm happy to be here. I'm happy to see you.
We know each other, but I met Scott one time. Oh, wait, no, no.

Speaker 2 I thought.

Speaker 2 One time. I thought you guys were great friends.
I mean, I repeat for a third time, who?

Speaker 2 You might might remember me as, well, last time I saw you, you were coming from my mech. I built a mech, and that was like my whole life.
Coming from his mech. I'm going to switch my question to what?

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 there lies the problem. We were having a real back and forth, a tete-a-tete, if you will,

Speaker 2 with the Sparks, with the Sparks Brothers and Edgar Wright, and

Speaker 2 Jack Furze was also there. Oh, yeah, the Night Wolf.

Speaker 2 He takes pictures of New Wolf. He takes pictures of the Night Wolf.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I came in hot with an announcement. I thought I was going to blow the roof off very well.

Speaker 2 Wait, wait, wait. You told him about your crazy announcement? He was not interested?

Speaker 2 If you could believe it, nobody in the room knew what I was talking about. Nobody understood what a mech was.
You have to drop it on older white guys. He didn't know what to do.

Speaker 2 I didn't realize that trying to explain what a mech was to two 70-year-olds was going to be an issue.

Speaker 2 Scott is actually 7-5, though.

Speaker 2 Okay, Francesca. Now, Scott, this is my friend.
He's building a message. You guys know each other? Yeah, we're homies.
We're homies. We ain't even homies.
That's not that established.

Speaker 2 Buck Tago, Rudy Norris, our pictures

Speaker 2 are storied. Okay.
Everyone's always talking about the classic times that Rudy and Buck had. Okay, I mean, I kind of remember you.

Speaker 2 What is it? You have a...

Speaker 2 You're building an exoskeleton because people... Yeah,

Speaker 2 a mechanized exoskeleton because of my slight frame. I am twee.
I'm a bit of a... I'm bitch-made.

Speaker 2 I'm really, really small.

Speaker 2 But what do you think, Francesca? I mean, he looks huge.

Speaker 6 I'm five's a massive person. He is a huge person.

Speaker 2 Yeah, compared to Francesca. You're just a noble size.
Tear your ass up, Francesca.

Speaker 6 What the fuck?

Speaker 2 What's Scott? What's Scott? Hold on, man.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you fucking sneak.

Speaker 2 We can't get canceled up in you.

Speaker 2 Can't speak of that. Well, fuck you.

Speaker 2 I did fuck up because I brought you here because I thought you guys are friends. I'm like, bring up two ones.
I barely even remember anything we talked about.

Speaker 2 If I remember correctly, you said to, you that you told me, see you in 2036.

Speaker 2 I'll see you in 15 years. Right.
Well, it's kind of 2030. Kind of 2036 in 14 years.

Speaker 2 Well, that's the thing.

Speaker 2 If I could. Yeah, what's the announcement to me? I brought something to Skanksgiving, and I'd like to announce that I brought it.
Okay, now we're talking. Wow.

Speaker 2 Scott, this is going to get your shit going. All right.
Well, yeah, I mean, I haven't had a great time here today. No, you're having a good time so far.
Have you ever?

Speaker 2 This is kind of a disappointment.

Speaker 6 It's the best time of your fucking life so far.

Speaker 2 I brought rare candy. You look so much less old than you did when we started.
Yeah, the rare candy.

Speaker 6 You look so old today, Scott. I don't know what was going on.

Speaker 2 Have you been to any weird beaches lately, Scott?

Speaker 2 Okay, what's

Speaker 2 that? Bette Middler was at.

Speaker 2 That is one weird beach. That's so weird.
Anyway, what do you got? Well, I'll just get right to it. I, you know, in the Speed Force,

Speaker 2 I've completed my mech. I went back to the drawing board and I completed it.

Speaker 6 What the fuck is a mech?

Speaker 2 You guys don't know what a mech is? Oh, okay, Dash.

Speaker 2 Jesus. These are so cool.

Speaker 2 This is what I needed. I needed the spirit of the youth to hear my announcement.

Speaker 2 We had some problems with the last one. It made me look smaller than I actually was.
Oh, yeah, you had to crouch to get in here. And it looked like I was sitting on a toilet.
It was not very funny.

Speaker 2 It basically was like a toilet with like a suit of armor. Yeah, but it accentuated my,

Speaker 2 if I can be frank for one second, we're all friends here, my sweet, juicy can. It made my ass look gigantic.
You're one of several people that I've had on the show recently who have giant asses.

Speaker 2 Look,

Speaker 2 they're all their age. If you don't got one, you got to get one.

Speaker 2 Well, like a week ago, we had someone with the flattest ass I've ever seen.

Speaker 2 Whom?

Speaker 2 This guy, Maurice, who was on like about a week ago or something. Anyway, yeah.
Well, you know what? Good luck, Maurice, out there. Well, Maurice isn't here.
Buck Tango is in here. That's right.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, to be honest, I didn't like Maurice either. Oh, okay okay cool cool cool i if i could just unpack that for a second which which guests do you like

Speaker 2 the ones look even the ones who have been on several times i don't even like their

Speaker 6 kayla dickey

Speaker 2 kayla dickey's okay i yeah maybe i don't know what anything goes on

Speaker 2 now now buck you brought

Speaker 2 do you want to do a demonstration do you want to show us what this mech can do i showed up in it. I'm in it.
Oh, you're in it right now? You are?

Speaker 2 Okay, so this is a.

Speaker 2 You're wearing a three-piece suit, right? Yeah, sorry. Well, yeah, it's underneath.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay. So you got a tailored suit over your mech? Exactly.
I didn't want to. Oh, by the way, real quick, can I tell you guys about my sexy Halloween costume before? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I was a bicycle and Francesco.

Speaker 2 Okay, I was Optimus Prime. I was really in the mech zone, so

Speaker 2 I had robots on the brain. And so when I transformed, though, I'm not a car.
I'm just a huge rod. Just a huge piece.
So you're Optimus Pride that transforms into a dick. Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 2 A dildo or like a fleshy dick?

Speaker 6 That's a good question, son.

Speaker 2 Thank you for asking. No, great question.
It did.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I grow flesh. I'll throw on the outside.

Speaker 2 It flips inward, and then it becomes, yeah, I'll throw it. So flesh on the inside, so every piece just flips.
Yeah, so you can imagine

Speaker 2 wearing it. Yeah,

Speaker 2 I'd rather not.

Speaker 6 This sounds like my husband, Keith.

Speaker 2 Oh, I can tell that.

Speaker 6 It's not big. It's way bigger.

Speaker 2 Jessica, if you keep rolling your eyes that hard, you are going to break them. Okay.

Speaker 2 Now,

Speaker 2 so, yeah, yeah. Do you want to do a demo of this?

Speaker 2 I mean, there's not a whole lot to it. It's just, it's an exoskeleton, so it acts as part of your body, but mechanical.
So I, I'm, you know.

Speaker 2 So do you want to take off your suit and show us what it looks like? Yeah, I'll just, you know, it's a sort of tearaway suit. I'll just tear it off.
Oh, okay, yeah. There we go.
Billy Flynn style.

Speaker 2 Okay, yeah. Yeah, I don't have colour.

Speaker 2 it's it's clear and and plastic. Yeah, yeah.
And you're not wearing anything underneath. Okay, okay,

Speaker 2 I mean, it doesn't count as clothes. You can't wear clothes underneath a mech.

Speaker 2 How is it supposed to interface to your neural system if you wear clothes? You look so old. Dash, dang,

Speaker 2 well, at least paint it.

Speaker 2 I also got to say, it looks like the way it's connecting to your neural system is through you squatting and those wires coming out of your buttole. Yeah, it just looks like squatting.
interesting.

Speaker 2 Where would you plug in a mech, smart ass? I almost know.

Speaker 2 I guess you only have so many holes. Yeah, I got

Speaker 2 maybe the ears?

Speaker 6 Leslie, your butthole powered the whole thing?

Speaker 2 Well, it doesn't power the whole thing. It goes into the...
That's the only way I can get to the nervous system.

Speaker 2 I guess in the matrix, they drill the hole in the back of the head and they attach that thing, you know.

Speaker 2 I misremembered that. Oh, damn it.
You just thought they used it in the butthole?

Speaker 2 I forgot. I remember when Keanu was in the goo.
He was naked. Yeah, he's he's nude in the goo, and he's all he's very frail in this part of the movie.
By the way, I think that goo came from him.

Speaker 2 I think, like, you think the goo came from him?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I think he was. Like, he brought his own goo from home.

Speaker 2 Where did he get it?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 we can't say to you, but he just.

Speaker 2 Maybe there's this champagne talking. I'd rather put it up my butt than have someone drill a hole in the back of my neck.

Speaker 6 I don't have a butthole, so I don't know why.

Speaker 2 You don't? What? This is Francesca. How about this? Francesca.

Speaker 6 I know. Women have no buttal.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 Do women have no buttons?

Speaker 2 I had heard that before. Women have no buttons.
That makes sense. That tracks for me.

Speaker 6 I am the only woman here. I am the only one who knows that.

Speaker 2 That's true. You know what?

Speaker 2 You got to believe women. Got to believe women.
I did try to grab some other women. Very difficult.

Speaker 6 All the men

Speaker 2 try to not grab them. You know what? Let's not isolate what I just said.

Speaker 2 Now, Dash.

Speaker 2 Thank you for finishing the mech before.

Speaker 2 You're back to Dash. I'm done with Buck.
Buck. Buck, thank you for finishing the mech before.

Speaker 2 Similar names, by the way, almost as if yours was inspired by his.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't say that. Names are similar.

Speaker 2 Some names are similar. I don't really think they share a single letter.
No. No, but like

Speaker 2 the syllables and the way you say them. Dash grab them.
Buck tangum. Okay.
Yeah. Sean Distin also is in there.
That's the name I just pulled over. I got to meet that guy.

Speaker 2 He sounds like an interesting guy. He's one of my favorite actors.
You're talking first syllable, one syllable name, two syllables, second. I'm having more.
You're hammering you.

Speaker 2 Go to bed.

Speaker 2 You know what? You could curl up. You know what? Maybe have a little more rare candy.
That'll set you straight.

Speaker 2 Show mind if I snoop.

Speaker 2 Okay, now, Buck, thank you for finishing the mech, but did you bring the pumpkin pies and stuff that I asked you to make? I'm so hungry right now.

Speaker 2 No, well, I don't know what it is about this candy, but it's like I'm fucking starving. It's like.
So

Speaker 2 the mech is supposed to help me in the kitchen, sort of. I'm not a very good inept cook, so I was going to, you know, put the exoskeleton on and get to baking, but I forgot all my ingredients.

Speaker 2 Oh, God.

Speaker 2 Did the suit pick other things in the kitchen that it did?

Speaker 2 I brought a whisk, one whisk. Okay.

Speaker 2 I brought

Speaker 2 an air fryer. It's not really helpful for when making a pie.
You probably could make a pie in there. I guess we could put some of this candy in there.
Yeah, we could put some of this whisker.

Speaker 2 We have stuff if you need stuff. What else did you bring for your kitchen? Well, what else did I bring? I brought the microwave.

Speaker 2 Wow. I I brought an empty ice cube tray.

Speaker 2 I brought the Brita filter. But we don't have the filter only, not the Brita.

Speaker 2 We don't have any food to put stuff into.

Speaker 2 And so none of that's edible, huh?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6 What kind of food will you put in a fucking Brita filter, Scott?

Speaker 2 Soup, you got filter soup. Francesca, you got to get out of Scott's face.

Speaker 2 Francesca, for the listeners, Francesca jumped up on Scott's knee and started getting in his face. By the way, like, we took the candy and we were pretty cool.
I'm pretty chill.

Speaker 2 She's got worse what's up with you francesca now i am in on scott's shoulders giving him a massage god you look like the angel or devil

Speaker 2 yes stop switching sides

Speaker 2 and changing cost here

Speaker 2 i am good he said i am bad

Speaker 2 stay on the bad side now buck i mean this is a i gotta say you were supposed to bring it home here i thought i know there's not a lot to me there's yeah a lot there's sort of a you know we've exhausted our questions.

Speaker 2 Yeah, there's there's not a lot for me to.

Speaker 2 You're a guy who makes a mech. We're not interested in the mech.
And that's it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You look like you have wires coming out of your butthole and a clear mechanism.

Speaker 2 And even that. And even that's not enough.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 I have a question.

Speaker 6 Do you think that maybe your personality is so lacking that you thought you need the mech? Or you, you know, maybe you're using a mech to cover up your

Speaker 2 personality.

Speaker 2 You sound like my mom.

Speaker 6 Exactly. I added two questions around here.
Nobody else knows how to either.

Speaker 2 I'm saying in a nice, you know, in a maternal way, she does say that, hey, maybe your personality, you think you got to build this mech to people like you. You're great on your own.

Speaker 2 And I say, shut up, mom. But now I'm hearing it for you.

Speaker 2 I'm starting to change my tune a little bit.

Speaker 6 So maybe you don't need a stupid mech. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, I worked really hard. How do we build a mech for your personality?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 What do we have? An emotional mech. Oh.
I don't mean to be a devil's advocate here, but where I'm from, mechs solve a lot of problems. Okay.
That can only be solved by mechs.

Speaker 2 And where are you from exactly? I'm from the Canterbury. I'm a Canto region, yeah.
Maybe you should go live there. I wouldn't mind a change of scenery.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, your mom probably couldn't go. Oh, hmm.
Well,

Speaker 2 I don't

Speaker 2 loves his mom. He doesn't really.

Speaker 2 I think it's cute. I'm bitch made.
I told you.

Speaker 2 You are. You are bitch made.
That's what that cursive tattoo on on your arm says.

Speaker 2 It's across my knuckle.

Speaker 2 Bitch made.

Speaker 6 Bitch made? No? Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know what, Scott? I feel like

Speaker 2 I've failed you so far, Scott. I feel like I've brought some guests, and they're great, of course, but they're not the caliber of guests for a thing.
No, keep it. We got special.
Bring this home.

Speaker 2 We got to rule this home. What is happening here? You know what? This is such a bullish.
You know what, Scott? It kind of sucks that you're talking shit about us right to our face.

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Speaker 2 Okay, you know what Scott I have an idea

Speaker 2 I Don't think I could pull someone from your past Scott. Oh, I need to pull someone from an alternate dimension Scott.
Oh an alternate dimension. Okay, like the multiverse?

Speaker 2 Yes another dimension like a Hawaiian region?

Speaker 6 No, no like a dimension where it's only Bay Beth and Beyond well okay there's that Beyond part.

Speaker 2 Like all the things you know, but everything's Hawaii. But no, Scott.
There was a guest.

Speaker 6 Why he only talked to Scott?

Speaker 2 Because it's kind of the only way to keep this character going.

Speaker 2 Don't say my name.

Speaker 2 Even though he responded to Scott, Francesca asked him the question. Thank you, Francesca.
But Scott.

Speaker 2 I think there's someone that you want to see that recently was banned from the show. Well, if they've been banned from the show, they can't be on the show anymore.
But you know who can be, Scott?

Speaker 2 His counterpart in CBB World 2.

Speaker 2 Oh, the parallel CBB World War II. That's right, Scott.
We know that there are

Speaker 2 minor differences. Yes, that's right, Scott.
We know that there are infinite CBB worlds. And in CBB World 2, it's exactly the same.
But this guest is not banned from the show.

Speaker 2 That's the only difference in CBB World 2? That's right, Scott. Also, yes, and also, Barack Obama was president for 12 12 years.
Oh, awesome! Pretty great. He FDR'd it.
He totally FDR'd it.

Speaker 2 But I'm going to bring him, Scott.

Speaker 2 Okay, you didn't disappear. You're just taking a shit right now.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, no.

Speaker 6 What a mess. Oh, God.
Okay.

Speaker 2 All right. Okay.
I can't do that. You know what, Scott? I feel like the only way to pull him from the other dimension is if we all

Speaker 2 go to sleep. You're all asleep.

Speaker 2 You've all fallen asleep here in the speed forest.

Speaker 2 You're asleep, and it is I, Morpheus. Oh my god, Morpheus? The Lord of Dreams.
Morpheus, the Lord of dreams. Morpheus 2.

Speaker 2 Morpheus from CBB World, too. Morpheus of CBB World 2, but my name there is Morpheus 2.
Oh, Morpheus 2. For children when they speak lent.
Is that T-O-O?

Speaker 2 Yes. Okay.

Speaker 2 Is there a first one?

Speaker 2 Not here. It's a confusing name.

Speaker 2 It implies. It implies that there was things before, but those things shall not be spoken of.

Speaker 2 God, Morpheus, it's so good to see audio. Thank you.
You got voted off of the show by. So I heard.
Not me. Oh, a different Morpheus.
Right, yeah. So

Speaker 2 there are several Dream Lords, one for each aspect of the universe. And whenever one of them perishes or is voted off in a survivor-like game show,

Speaker 2 they have to upload their files to Dropbox, and then the other Morphei

Speaker 2 read the Dropbox files and catch up. So I've read all about what happened to us.
You're fully caught up then. Not only that, I went down a real rabbit hole of like CBB episodes.
Oh, that's cool. Okay.

Speaker 2 What do you think? Other

Speaker 2 ones before 600 are a little dicey. Maybe you don't want to look at it.
They're not worth going into. I don't think.

Speaker 2 But I had a good old time. So.
Made some corrections on the wiki.

Speaker 2 You know, would it be cool if we just treated you like the Morpheus Dream Lord we knew? Not worry about any sort of differences and pretend like I was the same person. Yeah, with me.

Speaker 2 Okay, that's great. But But wait a minute.
Are we in a dream right now? You are in a dream of the Speed Force. I can only be seen by people who are asleep.
I only exist in people's dreams.

Speaker 2 Did you, by the way. If you see me, you are dreaming.
Is that hard? Were people. What's that? Is it not hard? For me? Because what if you want to have a birthday party, but everyone wakes up.

Speaker 2 That's what I can only have people who are sleeping come to my birthday party. Thank you, young man.

Speaker 2 That is very empathetic of you to appreciate. Oh, Morpheus is Dash Grab.

Speaker 2 Dash, this is you. You know Dash well, I know from his dreams.
But the Dash of CBB World 2. Yes, it's not you.

Speaker 2 I love an unbothered spirit.

Speaker 2 Were people dreaming on October the 31st this year? Yes, why do you ask? Oh, I was just wondering if you dressed up at all. Oh, yes, I'm dressed up right now.
Oh, you're still dressed up.

Speaker 2 Yes, yes, yes, yes. You don't recognize my costume? No, who are you? I can't quite place it.

Speaker 2 Maybe things are different on CBB World 2. Yes, it could be different.
I am, let's see, sexy

Speaker 2 sexy bugs bunny. Okay.

Speaker 2 So sexy bugs bunny, but a sexy sexier version.

Speaker 2 Well, no.

Speaker 2 The two sexies cancel each other out, and I'm just regular.

Speaker 2 Sexy, sexy bugs bunny is just regular bugs bunny. You're not even wearing the dress that Bugs Bunny wore.
Well, that doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 2 Once you put on a second dress and they cancel each other out, and you're just back to regular Bugs Bunny. Interesting.
That's why I have the ears. You see the ears? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay, I thought that was a good one. That's why you have the ears.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought that was just Morpheus' thing, that he had bunny ears or something.
Well, also, you're wearing your cloak, and it's you know.

Speaker 2 Oh, yes, sorry, let me move my hood back.

Speaker 2 Yes, I didn't even say that. There you are, yeah.
Morpheus, this is Francesca Bolognese. Oh, greetings.

Speaker 6 Hey, so nice to meet you.

Speaker 2 You are asleep, young lady. I hope that doesn't bother you.

Speaker 6 That's why that fucking creepy thing to do to me.

Speaker 2 You Cosby. Have we talked about this?

Speaker 2 I wouldn't appreciate that, sir.

Speaker 2 I don't think that's right. What's the Bill Cosby of CPB World 2 doing? It's worse.
No, no, you don't want to know. Shit.
Not only did he do all the things he did here and his old albums are bad. No.

Speaker 2 That sucks. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 It's not even the art.

Speaker 2 It's actually better for us. That actually makes it easier.

Speaker 2 It wasn't that hard to cancel the guy. But that's why, Francesca, you'll see here you are 10 feet tall because you are the person of your dreams.

Speaker 6 Wow, but I actually am realizing I don't want to be this tall. I like being small.

Speaker 2 This is a nightmare for you. Seems like sort of a contrarian spirit, is what I'm picking up on.

Speaker 2 You sort of feel like I gave you your heart's desire and that kind of bummed it out of it.

Speaker 6 It's so stupid to me because

Speaker 6 part of the reason, actually, that me and my husband, Keith, are so.

Speaker 2 Do you not like him?

Speaker 2 Yes, this is just how he says that. I only know of him from your dreams of him.

Speaker 6 He is the love of my life.

Speaker 2 I love him so much.

Speaker 6 But the way that we have sex is like going through his pocket. And then I do all the stuff too.

Speaker 6 His dick is so so big.

Speaker 2 What is it, like two inches? He said, two,

Speaker 6 no, one in a three-quarter.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God, huge.

Speaker 6 He's a massive bigger than yours.

Speaker 2 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 6 Anyway, so yes, for me, now I'm kind of rethinking, how do I have sex with my husband? These must be.

Speaker 2 Well, this is only in your dreams. When you wake up, you'll be back in your regular body.
Oh, thank God. Okay.
Hey, is it okay if I ask a couple questions about pop culture?

Speaker 2 Yeah, because I only know TV and movies when people dream about it.

Speaker 2 And it's confusing. Oh, okay.
So, what I'm saying. Yeah, Sometimes when I dream about a movie, I dream about it the way I want it to be, not the way it actually is.

Speaker 2 Those are the only movies that I can watch. Right.
So ask us anything. Okay, there's a television show, and it's got something to do with poor people in Korea competing in a murderous game for money.

Speaker 2 Parasite.

Speaker 2 Maybe, perhaps. Yes, it sounds like a class.
It's a lot of commentary on class people.

Speaker 2 Squid game. Oh, man, that sounds right.
It could be that. But everybody is a grandmother and they're naked the whole time.
Oh, I mean, you're thinking of squid game, but I think someone's

Speaker 2 mixing up their own grandmother. It's a squid game that I've seen.
It's makes a good grandmas.

Speaker 2 I can't stop watching it. You know, I keep thinking it's moving too slow, but I binge right through it.
The squid game I saw is when a tentacle and a tentacruel play water polo together.

Speaker 2 Okay, what are the things? Yes,

Speaker 2 I've seen that episode. So you've dreamed about that,

Speaker 2 but it's pinpoint accurate. No, that's not a dream.
That's the real squid game that I watched. Right, yeah, but you've dreamed about it if he's seen it.
Oh, yes, I guess so.

Speaker 2 I mean, it was quite a match. Sorry.
Not at all.

Speaker 2 Sorry. You know what? Dash.
Morpheus has it. After they'd say anything, she'd say, sorry.
Yeah. Dash has had a little to drink tonight.

Speaker 2 Had all of the champagne bottle. But Morpheus.

Speaker 2 Good for you. A man without vice is a man without virtue.
Now, Morpheus.

Speaker 2 Sorry.

Speaker 2 You live in the dream dimension, of course. Correct.
What is it? I administer the dream dimension. You administer the dimension.
It is my responsibility. It is a fucking creepy dash.
It's so creepy.

Speaker 2 it's like a live work situation that's correct what is your relationship with the holiday of skanksgiving is it something deep and intimate you celebrate my favorite holiday skanksgiving is my favorite holiday interesting yes that's right do people have very vivid dreams on skanksgiving i can't say sanksgiving is when we are closest to the dream world whoa dressing in sexy costumes for a month brings us ever so close to our primal thoughts and desires

Speaker 2 skanksgiving is a sacred time in the dreamscape

Speaker 2 and the triptophan from the turkey probably helps too huh? Oh, yeah, everyone's asleep. You know it, pal.

Speaker 6 But what are the traditions of

Speaker 2 Skanksgiving? Is that hard for a

Speaker 2 tiny Italian?

Speaker 2 You're temporarily big, so it'd be easy for you now.

Speaker 6 Skanksgiving. What are the traditions? Is it the same as Thanksgiving?

Speaker 2 No, no, no, very different.

Speaker 2 For Skanksgiving, you go around and say what you're most slutty for.

Speaker 2 Oh, man.

Speaker 2 Okay. Okay.
So that's a little bit different.

Speaker 2 You dress, of course, you dressed in a sexy Halloween costume. It's been that way for a month.
By the way, we haven't talked about our costumes. No, no, no.

Speaker 2 No, I mean, I'm sexy Native American, obviously.

Speaker 2 The feathered headdress

Speaker 2 around my ass.

Speaker 2 Boy, there's several things that could ruin you in that costume.

Speaker 2 No, Scott's uncancelable. Here, the Speed Force, he's uncancelable.
What a lovely thing. So, what are you, though? I can't quite tell you.
I am sexy Scott Ackerman. Oh, okay.
I wondered.

Speaker 2 The sweater, the G-string. You painted all those old, old lines on your face.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 6 They don't like your dick is so small.

Speaker 2 Well, yeah, exactly. That is why my dick is small.
It just seemed you went out of your way to let us know that you have a small dick and that costume is like the little outline on the pants.

Speaker 2 I had to go all out.

Speaker 2 Another holiday of Skanksgiving is to play ska bands who like to skank.

Speaker 2 So it's only ska music on Skanksgiving. Like which ones? Let's see.
Methoscopheles.

Speaker 2 Are we talking second wave, third wave? Well,

Speaker 2 in the dreamscape, it's only the dreams of these ska bands. Oh, okay.
So, all waves would be welcome, but also just the dreams of them.

Speaker 6 Like a pie taster.

Speaker 2 Are they bands? So in your pie tasters. Or are you just dreaming about people tasting pie tasks? Is that the thing we're sluttiest for?

Speaker 2 I know I didn't bring my pie, so don't rub it in everyone's face, okay?

Speaker 2 I also do have some delicacies that only exist in dreams. Oh, I love that.
I'm so hungry right now. It's not like turkey or.
I'm surprised we went to sleep. We had so much of that rare candy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but you know what? I am fucking. I know that my body is twitching right now.
Yeah. Well, I'm grateful for it because I wouldn't be able to see you unless you were unconscious.

Speaker 2 Here's a delicacy. This is this is this has not existed except since the old times.
Prehistory delicacies. Whoa.
These only existed since

Speaker 2 dreams, yes, that have been talked about and passed down through oral history. Through the oral tradition.
That's correct. So they only live in very few people's dreams, but I have it for you here.

Speaker 2 This is... Let us add it.
What is it? Banana bread.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, we no, we that's so good. Maybe it's different on CBT level, too.
Banana bread. Okay, yeah, Dash don't have that.
Dash canter. The most exotic of desserts here.

Speaker 2 Probably only in ancient Persia, the oldest of these. No, we're not curry at all.

Speaker 2 It's not curry. It's not curry.

Speaker 2 Okay, well, enjoy the banana bread. I've got it.
Thanks. No, we have it.
We have actually for

Speaker 2 a snack of treats.

Speaker 2 By the way, this tastes like wood chips right right now. Yeah, what? That's the way banana bread is supposed to be in dreams.
Okay. All right, here's a second delicacy.

Speaker 2 This is an ancient one from an undersea kingdom whose records have been lost to modern times.

Speaker 2 Okay. Mike and Ike's candy.
Okay. Little boxes, pass them around.

Speaker 2 Wait, Mike and Ike were Atlantean? I mean, yes, Mike and Ike were Atlantean. This is a delicacy only the kings and queens of Atlantis would enjoy Mike and Ike's.
So we have these

Speaker 2 pretty short. We have these and they're gross.
Oh, they're not good. Okay, well, never mind.
Well, okay, can you, Dash? Can you calm down? Everything you bring out, Dash is just going nuts for me.

Speaker 2 I mean, he's having a great time. We're all good.
Okay, Dash.

Speaker 2 Well, just take them and re-gift them if you need. Whatever.
All right.

Speaker 2 I don't think I can even give these away, honestly. Yeah, I can't either.

Speaker 2 You guys really are open with what you think about things in front of people, but all right, no problem.

Speaker 2 Final delicacy. Just enjoy.
This only existed before there were humans, before there were living creatures on earth. This ought to be something that's not a creature.

Speaker 2 When it was the old ones, like a fossil fossil.

Speaker 2 Like a fossil. Like a kabuta.

Speaker 2 That's correct. This is

Speaker 2 a

Speaker 2 tuna noodle casserole. Okay.
Oh my god.

Speaker 6 This thing thinks so much in this.

Speaker 2 This one sucks. Okay, I gotta throw this shit back into the speed.
All right, well, just think about it.

Speaker 2 You like tuna six casserole?

Speaker 2 He's mad at you. You take some Campbell's, you know, cream of mushroom.
I don't know, some Campbell's soup.

Speaker 2 There's soup in this? Oh, yeah, yeah. You ruined the soup and the tuna.
Oh my God, Buck, it looks like you're throwing up inside your bag.

Speaker 2 It's a real fucking mess in here.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry, it's clear.

Speaker 2 That's fucking disgusting.

Speaker 2 Morpheus.

Speaker 2 I asked you to bring Thanksgiving dinner. Yes.
And this is the bullshit that you want to be. This is the finest delicacy.

Speaker 2 This only claims. You know what, Morpheus? I will allow you to continue to live in our own universe from today on.
Oh, I love it. I love Morpheus has returned.
I love respecting continuity.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I would love it if he came back to CBB World 1 with us. I mean, I'd like to have Morpheus back on the show.

Speaker 2 Morpheus, we'll bring you back to CBB World 1, but I gotta say, you didn't deliver today. Yeah.
I appreciate your honesty. And you are welcome in the dreamscape anytime you sleep.
Oh, all right.

Speaker 2 I mean, that's kind of your job. I can't.
But it's like

Speaker 2 you're not going to be able to do that. You're welcome to go into Bed Bath and Beyond anytime you want to go.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Scott, please. No.
We don't want you there.

Speaker 2 You're all welcome here.

Speaker 2 Can we wake up? Yeah, yeah, let's do it. Okay.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 That was a crazy dream.

Speaker 2 You're back to sleep real quick. Okay.
Just, I'm going to keep listening, and whenever I want to talk, you'll just fall asleep real quick. Absolutely.

Speaker 2 You're awake, you're awake, you're awake.

Speaker 2 Damn it. Scott went back to sleep for just like two seconds.
It felt like, Scott, I'm so sorry because it's coming towards the end of Speed Force Thanksgiving right now.

Speaker 2 And I'm just so hungry for you. For companionship.
There's no food. There's, I mean, there's a motley crew of yeah I'm gonna say weirdos here some of the worst guests I've ever had on the show

Speaker 2 I unfortunately also puked in real life yeah

Speaker 2 you mama cast this

Speaker 2 you know what Scott maybe I was Scott you know I think I might

Speaker 2 I'm back in I might have been thinking about this all wrong Scott

Speaker 2 I've been here trying to make you be thankful for things in your past, Scott. Okay,

Speaker 2 I can see where you're going with this. Maybe.
We're ending it now? No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 What I was going to say is... Oh, okay, there's more.
There's more. Maybe, Scott, you could be thankful for guests from the future, Scott.
Okay. You mean, meaning guests I haven't even met yet?

Speaker 2 Yes, Scott. You know, because I have the powers of the flesh, I can run into the future.
Oh, of course, yes. Well established.
I have seen the future of comedy bang bang one. Oh, my God.
Is it good?

Speaker 2 Am I canceled?

Speaker 2 I don't want to really get into the details of that. Okay.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're kind of canceled. I'm kind of canceled.
That's fine. Everyone will be.

Speaker 2 By that point, everybody's canceled. We're all walking around canceled.
It's all good. Was it the Halloween costume? Yeah, it was.

Speaker 2 Really? So I'm canceled immediately after this episode?

Speaker 2 Scott, I'm going to travel into the future and bring one of your favorite guests that you haven't even met yet, Scott. Okay, great.
Are you ready? Yeah. All right.

Speaker 2 I don't think I have to take a shit against.

Speaker 2 okay. So yes, you're feeling light.
You can travel to the future. Here we go.
Yeah. Actually, you know what? I might just walk.
Let me just. Okay, yeah, if you can get there by walking, why? No, walk.

Speaker 2 I'll be right back, y'all. Okay.

Speaker 2 Oh, shit. Walking still hurt, too.
Okay. Yeah.
Woo! I cramped up a little bit when I was on my way back. Damn, Scott.
Ooh, okay. I had to stay at a hotel halfway.
That shit sucked.

Speaker 2 But, Scott, I brought

Speaker 2 your favorite guest, Scott. His name? Ron Snapper, Scott.
Ron Snapper. That's right, Scott.

Speaker 2 This is like a taste of the voice to come of CBB World Future. I'm a taste of your future, Scott.
It's me, Ron Snapper. Nice to meet you.
Hello.

Speaker 2 Hi.

Speaker 2 Strange to be meeting you when I've already met you so many times. This is like a Doctor Who, you know, River situation.
I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 2 They don't have Doctor Who in the future? No, I just don't know. I just don't know what that is, okay? Because you're very, you're very, you're coming in so hot.
Even hotter than you.

Speaker 2 Well, this is how we we got to make it in the podcast world. I know a little something about podcasting.
I am, of course, the host of Podcast Rescue.

Speaker 2 This is the preeminent podcast rescue reality show. It plays exclusively on those TVs at gas stations.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 Okay, so that's your deal.

Speaker 2 That's correct. Yeah, if you want to encapsulate it in one short little soundbite, that's my deal.
Is that how you met Scott? That is how I met Scott.

Speaker 2 But I've had you on the- Wait, I met you and then had you on the show already? No, no, no. You were ambushed by me.

Speaker 2 Oh, you were hosting a normal edition of your show. Okay.
I first appeared on your show sometime in late 2021, maybe early 2022, whichever is most complete.

Speaker 2 Okay. Run it out of runway.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Very nice to that. You know, who knows? And 2022 is

Speaker 2 maybe a little optimistic.

Speaker 2 Got it. Got it.
All that was convenient. You, Scott.
Yeah, who knows? But who knows? Who knows? But who knows what can happen? People can drop out. Of course.

Speaker 2 What happened was a lot of your past guests and producers contacted me. They said, Scott is running one of the worst podcasts in podcasts.

Speaker 2 This is a true shit show, was what one guest said. God, God.
Why would Devin do this?

Speaker 6 Was the guest me that.

Speaker 2 I don't know who you're talking about.

Speaker 2 Yeah. My producer,

Speaker 2 it was Francesca who was.

Speaker 6 I assume I am still on the show. That's correct.

Speaker 2 Yes, okay. Yes.
Oh, God. In fact, all of these guests are my recon spies.

Speaker 2 I sent them in ahead to be guests on this podcast, experience it from the guest chair, and figure out just how terrible it was.

Speaker 2 Go ahead, everyone. Tell them what a terrible time you've had on this show.

Speaker 2 You told me I was, what was the word?

Speaker 2 Opaque.

Speaker 2 I did? Yeah. I don't even know what that means, Barry.
Me neither, but it sounded like there was malice behind it. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, I'll attribute the time that I had on the show to it being a trick for you. That's what happened.
Yeah, I had a bad time. Well, I mean, you sucked, though.
No, no, it's not that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I sucked because the experience was listening to how you're talking to these guests, Scott. You're all asleep.
You're all asleep. Okay.

Speaker 2 I actually had a great time because I wanted to come to this universe. Yeah, you know, it kind of worked.

Speaker 2 I'm happy to have a, I did agree to spy, and I was, you know, he had a dream and asked me, but then I was like, you know, Morpheus was an outlier.

Speaker 2 We cut his footage out of the episode because it didn't really support the narrative of it being a terrible.

Speaker 2 You got to kill your darlings. Okay, you're awake.
That's right. Oh, God.

Speaker 2 So I was called to bring, I was brought in to save your podcast.

Speaker 2 May I say, your deal, if I may be so bold, is very complicated right off the bat. I know what I'm the following.

Speaker 2 I would strip it like suddenly you've hired spies, and like, we haven't even established really what podcast rescue is. Podcast rescue is

Speaker 2 where you rescue podcasts. I come in, I am one of the great producers of podcasts of all time.
I'm in the podcast Hall of Fame. You are.
I am. There's a podcast hall of fame.

Speaker 2 There's a podcast hall of fame. Who's on Mount Podmore in the future? Well, of course, it is the podfather himself, Ricky Gervais.
Oh, okay. Conan's up there.
Conan is up there.

Speaker 2 Dax Shepard, who I was the one who convinced him he was interesting.

Speaker 2 The office ladies are up there. But Scott, I got good news.
From where I'm sitting in 2036,

Speaker 2 you're on Mount Podmore right now. Yes, really.
That's right. This is a big Mount Podmore.

Speaker 2 How many ways? There's about 25 heads. Whoa.
Okay. I've only scratched the surface on the heads.

Speaker 6 Where are these Budmore Mino Sonas?

Speaker 2 Wow. Oh, I know.
The derogatory tone. Yeah, it's in Minneapolis.
Oh,

Speaker 2 yeah. Dead on.
Well, how did you fix this podcast? Because maybe we could get a heads up on it right now.

Speaker 2 No, this would be a good time because what I came in and I gave my signature tough love and I burst into your studio and screamed at you at the top of my lungs. This sounds like a terrible episode.

Speaker 2 It has to happen. It was a great episode.
People loved it.

Speaker 2 Highly reviewed. And I went on to become your most frequent guest of all time.
Okay.

Speaker 2 I mean, look, I believe it if you're saying that.

Speaker 2 Would I lie to you? You need to open your ears and accept the truth. This is just the beginning.

Speaker 2 I don't think he's a liar, Scott.

Speaker 2 Scott, where your podcast is at right now, you're losing $820,000 a month.

Speaker 2 I'm losing money doing the podcast. I'm losing $20,000

Speaker 2 this podcast, okay? From lack of efficiency, okay? Really? It's just efficiency. Lack of efficiency, shoddy Shoddy worksmanship.
Okay. Failure to focus.

Speaker 2 But we've never lost money before, and I've been shoddy this whole time. Yeah, well, you made some bad investments, and I think Rudy might have written a couple checks.

Speaker 2 I did. I'm sorry about that.
Oh, you're writing bad paper, Rudy? Yeah, writing bad paper. I need to take one of those classes.
You got to take a class. So, what did you do?

Speaker 2 I mean, how did you turn on? We don't want to spoil the episode, but no, no, of course we don't want to spoil the episode because that's what? Bad podcasting, okay? Okay, yeah,

Speaker 2 okay. No, here's what I did.
I came in, I offered my tough love, I gave you some,

Speaker 2 some guidelines of like, you know, for example, first of all, did you check any of these people's IDs before they came in? No,

Speaker 2 I haven't even thought about doing it. I didn't check a single ID.

Speaker 2 What am I looking for? You're a full 18-year-old, so you got no idea. What would be wrong with that?

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 Hold on. Maybe we should check everybody's IDs.
Check everybody's ID. Francesca, can I see your ID real quick?

Speaker 6 You don't want to see my ID. No.

Speaker 2 So no? No. Okay, well, she said no.
What do you guys believe?

Speaker 2 Then you just got to ask. You're only liable for asking.
You just got to check and ask. And they go, no.
Is that the same legal for bars? Like they just got to ask you.

Speaker 2 People don't know that.

Speaker 2 This one trick that everyone people don't know.

Speaker 2 You go up, they say, can I see your ID? You go,

Speaker 2 that's actually a violation of HIPAA.

Speaker 2 Oh, HIPAA, God.

Speaker 2 Always using HIPAA. Always use HIPAA.
Now, Dash, can I see your ID, please? Here's a Pokédex. Okay, I don't know what the fuck this is.

Speaker 2 There's a digital ID that tells of all the Pokemon I caught and also my name. I'm 12.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's 12. Is that cool that he's a dude? 12 is cool as long as he has an ID that I can read.
And I'm drunk.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 that's something that tough love I got to give. You got a room full of people snorting cocaine on steaks carriage.
This is cocaine.

Speaker 2 I thought this was rare candy. Rare candy? Did you bring any? Yeah, of course I brought some.
I'm fueled by it, right?

Speaker 2 But only I can do it because I'm not on the clock.

Speaker 2 I can't feel my stomach.

Speaker 2 You got a walk for a tall woman who can't feel her stomach. You're all asleep.
Oh, we're asleep now. Anybody wanted to see my identification? I get it.
Yes.

Speaker 2 I don't have traditional identification. What is this? This is like a...
This is a furry creature called a grouse. Oh, okay.
Do we ask him?

Speaker 2 Yeah, he speaks the true names and identities of whoever you are. Okay,

Speaker 2 who is your master? Black Morpheus.

Speaker 2 Okay, okay. Thank you, Grouse.
And you're all awake.

Speaker 2 I got to accept that as an idea. Is that okay? That's an okay idea, but God, I mean, listen to how fractured we are.
The cannon is all over the place.

Speaker 2 By the way, Grouth came. He's here.
Grouth is now a guest on the show. He should only existed.

Speaker 2 This episode was already running out of steam when you brought in the fifth guest. Now you're bringing in a sixth.
What the hell is going on? You're right. You're right.
You're right, right.

Speaker 2 I need you.

Speaker 2 I can see why I've had you on the show so many times. Exactly.
I'm a creature and a big fan.

Speaker 2 I'm a fan of the cast. See, now this is great because this is enthusiasm.
This gets into what we got to do to turn this podcast around. Okay.
All right, let's get into it.

Speaker 2 To turn this podcast around, I got to hear catchphrases. I haven't heard a single goddamn catchphrase.
Those are my groceries.

Speaker 2 Boom. Graus catchphrase.

Speaker 2 Those are my groceries. That is a white-hot catchphrase.
That's going to take you very far, Graus. Very far.
Hey, appreciate it. Yeah.
Okay. Well, does anyone else have me?

Speaker 2 And if none of you got a catchphrase locked and loaded, there's the door.

Speaker 6 I think that mine will be.

Speaker 2 Is that your catchphrase, by the way?

Speaker 2 There's the door?

Speaker 2 Scott, if you don't like the catchphrases, I bring it to the show. There's the door.
Okay, it works.

Speaker 2 It's crazy. It works.
I'll tell you, it's one of the best. It works.
Every time I say that, my listenership goes up 12%. That's incredible.
12%.

Speaker 2 So people are listening extra hard when you say that. That's correct.

Speaker 2 So if anyone's got one, Frank Jesus.

Speaker 6 I think mine would be, oh, no, no, my...

Speaker 2 Tommy.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. It's good.
It's good. You know what? It's a different energy than a lot of catchphrases.
It's a lot lower, a lot softer. It's going to drop listeners in.

Speaker 2 For me, those are my groceries.

Speaker 2 You can hit it as many times as you want. You ever don't know what to say? There's the door.
You know, you just hit that.

Speaker 2 I think mine's going to be, I catch that.

Speaker 2 Nice. Nice.
A little sassy. I think you might be deciding a little drunk right now.
Yeah. Also, it sounds like you're on like an STD billboard or something like that.
Yeah, I mean. A what?

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 you got an adult man talking to a 12-year-old child about STDs. What the hell is going on? Okay, you're right.

Speaker 2 Sorry, sorry, sir.

Speaker 2 Okay, I told you. Do I call you, sir? You call me, sir.
Yes, we're very close friends, but you call me, sir.

Speaker 2 Hierarchy is so important.

Speaker 2 Well, you're very high status. I know this.
Well, now, Buck, do you have your catchphrase, Lucky? It's a little long. Okay, Leslie.
Okay. Wait, is that it?

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's it. Speaking about the cord that has to go up my ass to power the

Speaker 2 skeleton. This is good.
So it's like, when it comes to the cord that's up my ass right now, it's a little

Speaker 2 long. You got a guy with a cord up his ass in the middle of a studio.
That's unsanitary. That's a health code violation.
Don't forget, I'm covered in barbs. That's probably bad, too.

Speaker 2 That's disgusting.

Speaker 6 Can I say something? Yes. Okay, in my opinion, being on this podcast has been not, it's been so bad having this one at all.

Speaker 6 And there have been a lot of things that I would have changed about it for you. But I want to say for them, maybe you could give them advice that they need to be nice to us.
We are your guests.

Speaker 6 You guys mean to us the whole time.

Speaker 2 Oh, I need someone.

Speaker 2 You know what? Francesca, you're right.

Speaker 2 Wow. Wow.

Speaker 6 That is your catch right now.

Speaker 2 I don't know if that one's going to stick.

Speaker 2 I think

Speaker 2 I'll still be looking for one.

Speaker 2 But Francesca, I have to say, you know, and Rudy, I'm going to bring you in on this as well.

Speaker 2 Skanksgiving is a time for people to look around at all the sluts that he's around and

Speaker 2 really just realize that, yeah, maybe we've had our differences when you've been on the particular episode, but those differences are what make the show really interesting and fun.

Speaker 2 And yeah, maybe we don't get along and I don't find any of you interesting, but wow, Krouth, that hurts grouse. But the guests do.
And you know what?

Speaker 2 This Thanksgiving, I just want to say that I apologize if I've treated you poorly. And I'm so glad that all of you are here.
Wow. Wow.
Scott, thank you.

Speaker 2 And I'm sorry if I'm confusing for you to listen to sometimes.

Speaker 2 Because that's not your fault.

Speaker 2 I'm old. I'm an old-ass man.
I get it.

Speaker 2 And yeah, I don't know what a mech is. I don't know what a Pokemon is.
But, you know, five-year-olds probably do. And I could use some five-year-old listeners.
So thank you guys.

Speaker 2 Yeah, if I can apologize, I'm sorry that there's just not more to who I am as a person. Yeah, you are pretty thin.

Speaker 2 Physically and

Speaker 2 just in terms of conceptually, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2 Kraus wants to apologize for shoehorning himself in at the end here when nobody expected him.

Speaker 2 To be honest, I pimped you into that and I told you that you were here and then you just were. Krauss appreciates it.

Speaker 2 Krauss wants more time on the cast. I would like to catch Graus.

Speaker 2 No, no, you can't catch Graus. Not on Skankski.
No, not on Skanks. You know what?

Speaker 6 I want to apologize too, Scott, because I think I have been so much funnier than you the whole time.

Speaker 2 And it must be so hard for you.

Speaker 6 And I never thought about about it from your perspective.

Speaker 2 Francesca.

Speaker 2 In the Skanksgiving tradition, I'll accept your apology. But the next time I see you, and I'd like to apologize as well

Speaker 2 for coming in with a gimmick about as aggressive as possible

Speaker 2 and for really, you know, coming in hot. It's okay, but I mean, you know, on Skanksgiving, we want people to be hot.
That reminds me, should I tell you what my Halloween costume is?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, we got it, so we can cover that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, it's no big deal. It's just in honor of my favorite podcast, The Legion of Skanks.
I'm a sexy, oh no.

Speaker 2 I'm a sexy Big J ochre.

Speaker 2 Holy shit. Sexier.
That's right, yes. Basically, just Big J without the pants.
Okay.

Speaker 2 So that's your favorite podcast is Legion of Skanks, huh? Look at their numbers. Tell me they're not doing great.
Okay. All right.
And Rudy, most of all, I just want to say I really appreciate you.

Speaker 2 I know that this may be,

Speaker 2 you know, not the group of guests that I wanted, but I think it's the group of guests that I needed. That's right.
And thank you so much, Rudy. You've been such a great friend to me.

Speaker 2 And I apologize. I've been spending so much time with Sprague, and I started a different show.
I don't even know if you know this, but we started a different show together. Say what now?

Speaker 2 I apologize. You're not watching old movies and talking about them, are you? Yeah, just like every other podcast.
That was our thing. We talked about that.
It's me post Thanksgiving.

Speaker 2 Sorry, but then you disappeared. But look, Rudy,

Speaker 2 I want to reestablish our relationship. And Sanksgiving here, it wouldn't be possible without you.
So thank you so much. Well, thank you so much, Scott, and to all our guests.

Speaker 2 And Scott, I just have one important question for you.

Speaker 2 Did you have a good time, Scott?

Speaker 2 You know what, Rudy? I oh, should we get the turkey before I? Oh, yeah, let me go get the turkey. What am I thinking over here? Not getting the turkey.
Oh, Scott, I'm going to go get this.

Speaker 2 Put a pin in my answer. Put a pin in your answer.

Speaker 2 I mean, I was going to say yes, but let's have the turkey.

Speaker 6 Let me go check out the title. You know what? I bring a lot of turkey with me from Petvatim.

Speaker 2 I don't want to. I actually have a good turkey, Francesca.
Rudy's been cooking this

Speaker 2 all for the past five years. I have some loose turkey jerky in my pocket.
No, don't need that shit because I've marinated this turkey for a decade.

Speaker 2 Your turkey? Yeah. If you want to eat me, I'll just be recreated.

Speaker 2 Okay, you know what? I have a turkey. Okay.
And we can all have this turkey. Let me just go check on it in the kitchen.
Okay. Yeah, great.

Speaker 2 No!

Speaker 2 No!

Speaker 2 Oh my god. Oh no! Rudy, everything okay?

Speaker 2 Scott, Scott, Rudy, are you taking another shit? No, Scott, I, um.

Speaker 2 About the turkey, I, um. Yeah, my mouth is watering.
You just even bringing it up. Francesca, Dash, Buck, Morpheus.
What's his name? Ron. Oh, right.

Speaker 2 I forgot to turn on the oven, Scott. What?

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 you did what? That's right. I don't have a turkey on you.
We're all starving here, and you forgot to turn on the fucking oven. Scott, picking up a little rhine.
Scott, I'm

Speaker 2 there's the door.

Speaker 2 Scott, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. I didn't make the turkey, but it still was fun, right? I mean, we had guests, we celebrated stuff, we were thankful.

Speaker 2 This is the worst Thanksgiving I've ever had in my life. I hated it.

Speaker 2 I'm out of here.

Speaker 2 Scott.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 it looks like the only way for me to save the CBB Worldiverse

Speaker 2 is to merge my cannon with the Speed Force.

Speaker 2 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 That's the thing that's insane. What is the matter with you?

Speaker 2 How is that related to what just happened? It's got malonia! No, no, no, it makes perfect sense. I don't understand.
No, no, you don't understand. The only way for me to save the speed force

Speaker 2 and Thanksgiving and the CBB Worldiverse is if I merge with the Speed Force. It makes perfect sense.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like that Ralph doesn't understand. It's a little long.

Speaker 2 I'm just going to do it. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 And here I go.

Speaker 2 Goodbye, CBB World. Rudy North must die.

Speaker 2 So CBB World can live. This is like the end of people's dreams of search of spots.
You're saying he's gonna, like, he's gonna die. No, no.
I think, right? My tongue.

Speaker 2 Thank you for listening to the Speed Force Thanksgiving special. This has been a Whisper Studios production in association with Brett Morris and CBBWorld.com.

Speaker 2 Special thanks to Lily Sullivan, Zach Reyno, Matt Appadaka, Will Hines, Devin Field, and of course, Scott Ockerman. That's Canon, baby.

Speaker 2 Oh, God.

Speaker 2 Wow. So this is the Speed Force Afterlife, which is different than hell, which I did kind of go to at one point, became the devil, but this is totally different.
It's a Speed Force Afterlife. Well,

Speaker 2 looks like i have all of eternity to reflect on my dirtbag misdeeds

Speaker 2 rudy oh k-boss

Speaker 2 my sponsor and mentor what what happened rudy

Speaker 2 what have you done

Speaker 2 well i i beat i just say the cbb worldiverse by merging my cannon with the speed force it's a long story but i can't get into that right now Rudy,

Speaker 2 by pulling guests from old episodes to shave our reality, you forever change the future, creating bridge CBB timelines. Bridge CBB timelines? That's what I just said.
Oh, no.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, no, it's right.

Speaker 2 I got bit by a cake lightning bug, and I had a vision of the future. Is it bad?

Speaker 2 No, it's good.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's why I came. Of course it's bad.

Speaker 2 Oh, God. We need to prepare.
There's a crisis coming. A crisis on it for the Bike Birds.
Bye, man.

Speaker 2 Rudy North will return.

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