More Cushion for the Pushin’ (Paul F. Tompkins, Will Hines)

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Don't hate the player or hate the game.

I invented this game and I worked really hard.

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.

Thank you to Popcorn Pigeon for that.

Oh, isn't that cute?

Popcorn pigeon.

Popcorn pigeon.

I wonder if that's a pigeon made of popcorn or a pigeon that eats popcorn exclusively.

I think it's like popcorn chicken, but it's pigeon.

Oh, interesting.

Popcorn chicken.

That's the San Francisco treat.

Yep.

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week.

This is, of course, the podcast that is the San Francisco treat.

No, is that for real?

That is for real.

Yeah, our biggest city is San Francisco.

What does that mean?

The biggest city in the world is San Francisco.

Okay, that's what I thought you meant.

Yeah.

And I agree.

Yes.

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week.

My name is Scott Ackerman.

We have a great show coming up a little later.

We have someone who works in the illustrated medium.

And that will be very exciting.

But before we get to them, let us turn to our guest of honor.

He's on this show very rarely, only usually around two times a year, two holidays:

Christmas, that's right, and Mass of Christ, and Wet Day, which is coming up in about a month.

Yes, but he's here early.

Yeah, he decided to swing by the studio here.

Not like Spider-Man, certainly.

You weren't literally swinging or Tarzan.

Tarzan.

Who are the famous swingers?

Spider-Man.

Tarzan.

The

Ice Storm Couples.

The Ice Storm couples.

Jon Favreau in that one movie.

Wait.

Oh, yes.

My mind went to Jon Favreau playing Tarzan.

I was like, sure, why not?

George of the John.

I can't even say what George was up.

I'm so excited.

Brendan Frazier.

People were like, what if Tarzan was silly?

Yeah.

And that's how we got George of the Jungle.

That's how we did it.

Like, you could do that with almost anything, is turn a cartoon.

Now you could turn a cartoon

into silliness.

We should mention that this is the earliest we've ever recorded.

Is that true?

No, I do believe that I may have recorded an episode at 9 a.m.

once, but this is,

I don't believe I've spoken today to anyone other than my daughter.

And I was saying Google Gaga.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cause she don't talk to me.

In order to communicate.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

So the mouth.

You ever talk to a baby like, you ever talk to a baby like,

you ever talk to a baby like, hey, what's going on?

And then, and then the, and then the baby's like, oh, go, go, go, go.

This is a good, good chunk of material.

Thank you.

I'm not a parent, but I do have material about little kids.

You should do a 10-minute chunk on, I'm not a parent, but I have material on how to interact with kids.

And that's all very.

It becomes the famous name of the bit.

Yes.

Speaking of famous names, he has one.

Please welcome back, Paul F.

Tompkins.

Hello.

Hi.

How are you?

Now, Scott, you and I are dear friends.

Yes.

And here we are.

We're friends to a lot of deer.

Yes.

That's what I meant.

Now, how many are you up to?

One and a half.

I've like met the second one, but we're not friends.

You're acquainted.

Yeah.

We're colleagues of baby deer.

Yeah.

I am work friends with two deer.

Okay.

And very good friends with one.

Okay.

so you're on your way.

So we're good friends with the same amount of deer.

Yes.

But

we have some others in play.

Yes.

Although you said one and a half and I said I named three deer.

You did, but I don't count your work friends as actual friends.

You count two work friends as one friend.

I don't.

As a half a friend.

I wouldn't even,

to say they're even a half, I would say they're 0.1s.

Wow.

Now you were going to say I wouldn't dirty my mouth with saying is that am I reading?

I was not going to say that you were not going to say that no i was not would you

i was not going to dirty my mouth with saying yes that you have uh several friends anyway but we are dear friends what were you about to say about that um and so you're kind enough to have me on your show um and exactly it was a it was a real favor

for both of us

it truly was like you did me a favor by agreeing to do a show and then i did you uh explain what we're doing here today

folks we're here today because we are gathered here today.

Yes, please do it like prints.

We are here today because I have something to promote.

Now, normally the first people that I talk to on the show are people who come here with projects.

Yeah, but famous people.

Sure.

Last week we were.

Doing things that people want to see.

Yeah, we had Ione Skye, who is a famous movie actress.

She's here promoting a book.

So she's kind of counts as author.

As I've talked about in the past, the hierarchy of good podcast guests.

Absolutely.

Movie star.

Number one with a bullet.

We love him.

TV.

TV star.

We'll take them.

Sure.

We watch.

Yeah, we like TV.

We like TV.

Don't we, folks?

Thirdly,

comedian?

Comedian.

Yeah, I'll take comedian because they're out there touring.

And they're doing something entertaining.

Yeah.

Tony award winners.

We've had them.

Oh, sure.

We've had them.

We'll take them.

Yeah.

Under Under that, we have authors.

They're getting dicey here.

Yeah.

And then...

Way down at the bottom, podcaster.

Yeah.

And

you fit in, you're a comedian.

Yes.

So

you're up there.

You're not as bad as author.

Right.

But you're not as good as a movie star.

You should star in a movie star.

I'm not as good as a TV star.

No, yeah.

You should at least be in one movie that is just you're above the title.

I'm above the title.

Yeah.

God damn.

I think everyone deserves that.

Everyone in the world should have one movie that they star in.

I think that's nice.

I think, sure, everyone deserves that, but I feel like you're.

Some it can be an independent film.

Some, it can be like a major Hollywood blockbuster, but every single person in the world deserves one movie about them.

You're laying something out that I think is going to be difficult for me to achieve in the amount of time that I have left on earth.

I think you could do it.

How long by the time I'm done?

I think movies only take three months to film.

can i tell you i for this for this venture that i'm here to promote

uh i talk the venture brothers

which i've i've done voices for the venture brothers yes you have yeah blue morpho most famous blue morpho yeah now as as someone who doesn't know what the venture brothers even is

i

i i find that fascinating now you think it's sort of like the girl scouts and they sell cookies

of course did you bring some cookies today i always bring cookies of course listen to freedom for some more information about that.

Of course.

I tripped out on that song.

Do you remember Tycho?

No, I don't.

They made the slot cars?

Oh, yeah, of course.

And then

they would end their commercials with Tycho, of course.

Of course, we exist.

That's sort of like a tagline you'd have for an actual car company that was like, we're releasing our latest model, of course.

Of course.

And are they still around, Tycho?

I'm going to look this up.

Good question.

While you

further elaborate on exactly what slot cars, the biggest promise to the smallest payoff.

Hey, I'm on their Wikipedia page, and I would say

the third word tells you exactly what you need to know about Tycho.

Tycho Toys was

an American toy manufacturer.

It was acquired by Mattel in 1997, becoming one of its brands.

They did such a great job with it.

It no longer exists.

Thanks, Mattel.

In any case, yes.

Just so everyone knows, I'm the person who immediately gets on Wikipedia when a celebrity dies to change it.

You're the person.

Oh, okay.

Yes.

I once,

I don't think I was watching the race, but some famous race car driver died and I was watching a live television event

and it had happened within 30 seconds.

And I went on the Wikipedia page and it had already been changed.

That was you.

That was me.

Why do you do this?

Because it's people, it needs to be updated.

It's honoring the person who's died.

That's true.

That is a good point.

I mean, it needs to be accurate.

When you die, and God, I pray it's soon.

Would you.

What?

Oh, I meant the opposite.

So, Satan,

what's the opposite of I?

You, Satan, you.

What's the opposite of pray?

Despair.

Satan, you despair.

It isn't.

It's a lie.

Satan, you despair, it's a lie.

A lie is the opposite of soon?

Oh.

I don't know how

truth got in there.

Satan somewhere.

Satan, I despair, it isn't far away.

That still means exactly what you said.

You're just talking to a different person.

Satan, I despair, it is far away.

But is is not the opposite of is.

Well, that's a good point.

Unless you're talking to Bill Clinton, am I right?

But if you, if you were to die, you wouldn't want people to go around thinking that I was still alive, would you?

I want some kind of cushion for the pushing.

Sure.

Bill Clinton.

You know what I mean?

Is that another one of us?

It doesn't seem like quotes.

It kind of sounds like that would be something that he coined.

More cushion for the pushing.

Why is Bill always talking about this?

Gas, grass, or gas.

No No one rides for free.

There's a lot of things that make sense that he would say.

But I kind of want some, I want a day cushion where everyone kind of, I think the sadness that would overtake America if they all found out at the same time, much like how we found out Tom Hanks had COVID.

Oh, so you want your death to be a sort of Juneteenth situation?

I don't know what you mean by that.

We celebrate when the last person finds out that you have died.

Yes, thank you.

I need it to be, I need something to soften the blow for everyone who's going to be sad.

Why don't you try softening the word soften?

Because I pronounced the T

which you believe should be silent.

Yes.

Oh, maybe it should be silent on silent.

Oh, I don't mind that.

Silent.

Silent.

Silent.

Silence.

I demand you be silent.

Silent Raider.

I demand you be activate.

Oh, my God, silence.

Should all T's be silent?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it would be

Battle Star.

Battle Star.

Battle Star.

Why are you here?

By your command.

I am here

because I have a tour that's coming up very soon.

Whoa.

So you're going to another country and you're taking a tour of like...

The grand tour

of Europe, the continent.

No,

you are a live performer.

Yes, I'm alive.

We went out together to do the comedy bang bang tour last year.

So true, Bestie.

And we had a great time.

Now you're back at it this year.

Yes.

But with a different show.

So you're cheating on me.

Now, that's not true.

We have an open relationship as far as shows are concerned.

And

Variatorpia, rather, is your hall pass.

That's correct.

I do a show called Variatopia here in Los Angeles.

I do it every other month at Lodge Room, California.

And describe this show because I can't even conceive of what would happen.

Scott, quite simply, it's a variety show.

What does that mean?

That means many things happen in the show.

Many, but when you go see any show, many things happen.

You don't go see a show and then like, like, you go see a play like Hamilton.

Hamilton comes out and does one rap and then just sits there staring at you.

Well, no, no, no.

But here's the thing that happens.

The one thing that happens.

Although, that's not a bad idea for a show.

The Hamilton comes out, does one rap and stares at you?

And that's the title.

Yes.

And Manuel, if you're listening, and I'm sure you are,

this is an idea for a follow-up.

Hamilton does one rap and stares at you.

You must have one rap you cut out of the show.

Now, you don't even have to write anything new.

Now, hold on.

Is it Hamilton post-death?

Oh, so he's an angel or devil.

Or is it a prequel?

Do you become a devil if you go to hell?

Yeah.

Of course.

It seems that then you're like on top of the hierarchy.

Well, here's the thing.

Here's the thing.

When you go to heaven, you don't become an angel, but you do look like an angel.

She looks

like an angel.

We depict people in heaven, and let's face it, this is in cartoons.

Yeah, sure.

With halos and wear

gowns and harps and sometimes wings.

But then when people go to hell, they're just like being tormented and they're just humans.

But you probably get horns.

I hope so.

Because it would hurt for them to grow through your flash.

Plus, you could like poke Satan in the butt when he tries to stab you with his pitchfork or something.

I think that's a bad idea.

I think if you're in hell and you're trying to fight back, it's not going to end well.

You're just going to sit there and take it, you pussy.

I think it behooves you to get used to it.

Behooves because demons have hooves.

That's right.

Wonderful, Paul.

Wonderful work.

And this is why you're one of America's great entertainers.

And you're out there on the road coming out soon.

So let me describe the show.

Okay, please.

I do some stand-up.

Stand-up.

There's more.

Okay.

There are

musical guests.

No seem Pedro.

Now, we have probably talked about this before, but isn't it great that Don Pardo, who always sounded like a ghost, now has become one.

Finally, he's crossed over into the realm he was always meant to be.

I have unfinished business.

A bit of boiled potato.

Get out of this house.

I guess Scrooge said the thing about the underdone potato.

But he said it to a ghost.

Yeah, so I mean, I can only imagine Jacob Marley came back to heaven and went, this guy thought I was a bit of underdone potato.

And so it counts.

What if Jacob Marley goes back and he goes, this guy tried to, he tried to fucking roast me by calling me food?

I think he was legitimately scared.

I think he was scared.

Scrooge or?

No, that's Jacob Marley saying.

Oh, oh.

I think I got him, though.

I think I got him.

Okay.

Yeah, I didn't sense you were still in character.

That's how good you are.

And that's what's going to happen on this big tour.

It's a variety show.

So there's comedy, there's music, there's other forms of entertainment.

Well, like

sports are entertainment sometimes.

People, yeah.

In the past, we've done the show where we've had a football game

in the middle,

full regulation time, regulation field.

And now I'm proud to introduce our next act, a football game.

And you're only performing at arenas, right?

Well, we have to.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If we do a football game.

Sure.

Otherwise, it's in time.

I will say no football game on this tour.

But

I don't like to announce who the guests are because I like it to be a surprise.

But it's usually the biggest, most famous people in the world.

Sure.

Usually.

Not always, though.

Try not to do that.

To get the expectations way too high.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or say things where I have to say, that cool thing that you just said is actually not what's going to happen.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

I feel like that's working counter to what I'm trying to do.

You see that Smartlist documentary where they decided to just take normal

dentists as

and the first time they did that, people were pissed?

Yeah, I heard about that.

Yeah, in any case, that's not what's happening here.

You have wonderful comedians, wonderful musicians, yes, and uh, maybe I'll do a character,

maybe there'll be a sketch, okay.

Uh, I also sing in the show, we have a fantastic band.

What's this song in the show that you're talking about?

What do you mean?

You also sing in the show, yeah, in the show, that's where you know that you've got a friend in me.

So, this is a song you've written for

Varia Turpia.

Yeah,

in the show, you've got to know that everyone slaps their knee because we've got laughs and music and everything else.

Yo, my name is Hamilton, and I'm here to say, Yo, my name is Hamilton.

I'm gonna stare at you in an unconventional way.

Rap ends,

And then just 90 minutes pass.

Piercing stare.

Yeah.

Intermission?

Yeah, I think so, but he's still staring during intermission.

Here's what I'm worried about.

Yeah.

That we know each other so well that you're not treating me seriously as somebody who's trying to work that way.

I would say that I'm treating you as seriously as any guest on this show.

I want you to treat me like someone you don't know that well.

That I'm nervous they're going to flip out and get that upset.

It's It's happened.

Exactly.

Treat me like someone you think doesn't have a sense of humor, and you're trying to gently bring me in to the vibe of the show.

Let me try to

reconnect my brain wires into doing that.

Yeah, reconnect your brain wires.

Sure.

All right.

So.

Reconnect your brain wires.

See, now here's the problem.

Then you go into this kind of thing.

Well, because you're making me feel comfortable.

Oh, good.

Okay.

Anyway, that was a parody of

Nicolas A.

I wanted to say.

No, it's Neil Diamond.

of course i'm neil diamond i have a love is brain on the love is brain on the mind

on the mind

love is blind

wow it's early and of course i'm niclache he says i he didn't say it this year i this is what i wanted to ask you about

what are you what are you talking about this is what i wanted to ask you i was i was watching love is blind the other day yeah uh the new season i believe is completely out at this point so uh if i'm spoiling this particular aspect of it i apologize but it's your own fault for not watching it.

But in previous seasons, he's come out with his wife, Vanessa Lachey,

and Vanessa Lachey, the power imbalance.

It was like the DC universe.

Imbalance.

But she would come out and introduce herself and say, my name is Vanessa Lachey.

And then he would say, and of course, I'm Nick Lachey.

Because he was the bigger star.

Right.

Now.

They are both huge because of Love is Blind.

She comes out and says, I'm Vanessa Lachey.

And he just sits there and goes, and I'm Nick Lachey.

Because they're equally as famous.

Can I put a more positive spin on?

And of course, I'm Nicola Shea.

Okay.

That he's, I think he's, it's possible

that he's putting himself in the co-pilot position and saying, like, I mean,

if she's Vanessa Lachey, of course you got Nicolache here.

Every Vanessa has their nick.

Yeah.

I see.

I

think it would really works.

I think it's possible, but not probable.

I'll take it.

In any case, tell me about this incredible show that you have going out there.

It's Variatorpia.

It is a touring version of Variatopia.

That's right.

Which is a variety show.

You come out, you do stand-up.

There are sketches.

Yeah, I do a monologue.

There's sketches.

There's a musical act who is always somebody really

fun and neat

doing their own set.

Do you have this same musical act on this entire tour or are you exchanging?

The tour will be the same.

Okay, great.

It'll be the same lineup for every stop.

And let me, I just want to tell you the places I'm going.

Oh, the places

that I will go.

Okay, so this is going to be exciting.

This is, I don't know that we've ever done this on Comedy Bang Bang.

Listed cities.

But here's the thing.

We have the opportunity to provide some commentary on those cities.

That's true.

Say the great things about these places.

Some of these these cities I've never been to before.

Wow.

We did this on the Comedy Bang Bang tour last year.

We went to tours or

cities, I guess you would call them

for the lay person

that we had never been to before, and it was a thrill.

It was a thrill.

Yeah.

To bring show to people for the first time.

And there were a lot of people who said, Thank you for coming to our particular town.

I never thought you would come through here.

That's true.

And that was wonderful to hear.

Penthouse Forum style.

I never thought.

And then they would tell us about their sexual encounters with random strangers.

Yeah, usually at work

with their hot boss.

And they all ended with, and this ended with someone calling HR.

Yeah.

And we all lost our jobs.

That's right.

We all lost our jobs.

And the business went under like Tycho Toys.

We're starting April 23rd.

We're going to be in Iowa City, Iowa.

Never been there before.

Incredible.

Iowa.

Iowa City.

I don't believe I've ever even been to Iowa City, let alone have done a show, let alone opened a tour there.

But Iowa, of course, is very dear to us because of the music man.

That's right, yes.

There's nothing halfway about that way of thinking.

Of course not.

So Iowa City, you're out there in April.

Yeah.

Wow.

What a time to be in Iowa City.

Can you imagine?

It's just like in the songs.

April showers may be occurring, which, of course, spring Mayflowers.

Right.

So then I'll tell you when I'm in May, in the city's in May, I was.

Of course you're going to talk about it.

St.

Paul, Minnesota.

Love it.

Of course.

I mean, your name is right there in the city.

I don't like to say this, but obviously that's why I like the city.

And of course, that's a wonderful theater.

I know where you're playing.

Oh, yes, you do.

We played there last year.

That's right.

And great theater.

And what a time.

Now, you and I, at the Fitzgerald Theater.

You and I have both performed there separately and together.

Yes, that's right.

And they do a thing where

the back wall of the theater, of the stage, is a brick wall, and you get to sign the bricks.

That's right.

Now, you and I separately signed bricks there.

And I believe you wrote Macbeth.

I think I wrote Six.

Six Emperor Tyrannus.

Six Trannis.

And I wrote Macbeth.

Yes, that's right.

So two things you're not supposed to say in the theater.

I mean, you can say Six Emperor Tyrannus in the theater.

You really shouldn't.

You really shouldn't.

That one guy ruined it for everybody.

Yeah, but everyone wanted to say it so much.

To be fair, you can say death to tyrants.

Yeah, I would say it in English.

Yeah.

If you're going to say it's except for Tyrannus, translate.

Yeah.

Sure.

Yeah.

Or maybe put it in another language just for fun.

That's right.

What would it be in Italian?

You're learning Italian.

Oh.

What is

haven't yet gotten to

death to tyrants?

I'm sure that's coming up soon.

It's got to be pretty close to the Latin, I would imagine.

All right.

So after St.

Paul.

Madison, Wisconsin.

Madison.

Wow.

Wonderful town.

Wonderful town.

We had a great show there last year.

Yeah, it's been a while.

I really love Madison, and I'm excited to be bringing that there.

Then Chicago, Illinois, the city with big shoulders.

Chicago, it doesn't sleep either, right?

No.

Except the city?

No.

That's New York City.

It does go to sleep.

So every other city

goes to sleep?

Yeah.

New York is a city that never sleeps.

If I were Chicago, I would be like, we don't go to sleep either.

And then I would stay up and make sure it happens.

You have to prove it.

Exactly.

That's why more cities don't do that.

Yeah, I don't want to stay up all night.

Royal Oak, Michigan.

Royal Oak.

We've been there.

It's very close to Detroit.

Yes, but it's not Detroit.

It is not Detroit.

I think the first time I ever went there, I just assumed we were in Detroit and I said Detroit and I got booed.

Yeah.

People have real Royal Oak pride.

They do.

And it's a wonderful theater there.

Yeah.

And they have a king that's a tree.

Sure.

That's the Royal Oak.

Yep.

And they all bow down to it.

They do.

He can't talk or move.

But they take their orders from him.

They do.

Like, what's that?

What's that tree?

Okay.

We will boil them in oil.

That's the one thing.

If you go to the show, you may be boiled in oil

because a tree said so.

At Royal Oak.

Yes.

That's the only place this morning it was.

Have you ever heard of Lakewood, Ohio?

No.

Well, you just did now.

Holy shit.

And that's where I'm going.

Is that by Cleveland or what?

Yes.

Okay.

Wow.

It is.

Fantastic.

By Cleveland.

But I'm sure it's by whatever lake is over there, too.

Wood Lake.

Yeah, Wood Lake.

Where the lake is made of wood.

It's just you're walking on planks.

It's a roller rink.

Let's be clear.

That lake is a roller ring.

More, you know, like the lakes in the states that don't get cold enough to freeze over with ice, they should just cover it with wood planks.

The lakes in states that don't get cold

should be covered with some wood

but everyone wants to skate around on a lake simply everyone does so why not yes

you think this is where it's like ironic because you think oh ice skates no no

roller skates roller skates yeah you didn't see that coming did you shouldn't they be wood skates like we call ice skates ice skates because you're skating on ice

but we don't call

roller skates, they should be like cement skates or wood skates.

Well, see, now you see, ice skates you only use on ice, well, roller skates you can use on multiple terrains.

You could use ice skates on any frozen substance, I would imagine.

Interesting,

like pudding pops.

I mean,

hmm, could you skate on a lake of pudding pops, frozen pudding pops,

or like a creme brulee, maybe?

Oh,

I know that's fragile.

That's carton sugar.

That's too fragile.

I would do it, though.

If you could bust through it with a spoon,

once you get a person on skates up there, even the biggest creme brulee in the world, you're going to go right through.

All right, where are you going to next?

I'm glad you asked because

for the first time, Variatopia going to another country.

What?

Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

Wow.

Now,

I love my Canadia.

Of course.

And I can't wait to be back.

I can't wait to bring this show there for the very first time.

I was talking to someone who just did a touring show up there.

No, up in Canada in a different city.

And they said that everyone was very mad at them.

And all the suggestions that were thrown out were all like tariffs.

DEI.

Yeah.

Well, guess what?

I'm doing a show that does not involve suggestions.

So if you don't bring any.

Yes.

Please don't yell out tariffs.

In any case.

Please don't consider me an ambassador from the United States of America.

Because what this person was saying was like, I'm just a dummy.

Like, why are you shouting?

I'm just going there to bring you some entertainment.

I can't bring any of this anger back with me and affect any kind of change.

I did not vote for that, man.

So please keep that in mind.

Sorry to this man.

I am not.

Sorry to this man.

Todd Osman.

All right.

So we're four cities in.

I would assume that's where it ends.

No.

Because guess what?

Wake up.

It's time to go to the city that never sleeps.

Whoa.

New York.

New York.

Wow.

And I'm going to be at Irving Plaza.

This is my first time doing the show in Manhattan.

Oh, incredible.

And are you doing it in the middle of the night?

Because the city never sleeps.

Of course, it's going to be a 4 a.m.

show.

Well,

that's a little too close to morning.

I would consider...

What do you think?

2 or 3 a.m.

the middle of the night?

It's hard because when you're talking about it, I'm assuming this is about a two-hour program or so 90 minutes 90 minutes or so you're you're edging into the morning

um which is what i was doing last night as a matter of fact yeah

what do you think 1 a.m middle of the night i mean midnight i know really the middle 1 a.m is really too close to midnight yeah um i i think middle 2 a.m even is like a lot of people are up at 2 a.m three i think you're right three that feels like the middle of the night feels like the middle if the phone rang

you would assume

you would absolutely say it's the middle of the night.

Why are you calling me in the middle of the night?

And then they say, well, because someone's in the hospital.

Then you say, well, okay, now I'm sorry.

I assumed you had no good reason to call me at 3 a.m.

and you were being a jerk, but it turns out I'm the jerk because I'm sleepy.

Boston, Massachusetts.

Wow.

You know.

This list is getting exciting.

Philadelphia, PA.

Oh, this is your hometown.

That's right.

Hometown show.

And I'm playing the Theater of the Living Arts, which is very very meaningful to me on South Street.

I used to go to the

lot?

I used to go.

First, it was an art house movie.

First, it was an art house movie theater.

I was petrified.

Then it became a performance venue, and then I saw a bunch of shows there

as an audience remember.

It was a thrill to play the Trocadero when we played Philly, one of the first few times

because I would hear shows from the Trocadero live theater.

Absolutely.

It's always a thrill when you get to play one of these theaters.

Like, I played The Will Turn.

Not with Comedy Bang Bang.

We couldn't fill that.

But I do with Mr.

Show, and that was fun.

That's right.

And yeah, it's always great.

I played the TLA one time before when I was a young stand-up comedian.

And I opened for Leon Redbone,

and I bombed.

So we'll see if the same thing happens.

I'm looking for Leon Redbone return to play with you?

If he shows up and says, I'm going on after your show, I'll be so mad.

Do you think the Eagles will come to this?

The football team?

Yeah, of course they will.

Okay.

Now, we should make clear: if you're one of the Eagles listening, there's no football game in the middle of this show.

No, not this time.

From what I understand.

Would you make an exception?

I invited them, and from what I understand, the response from the team was a massive yes.

Washington, D.C.

Wow.

Durham, North Carolina.

Love it.

Atlanta, G.A.

Great soul.

Portland, Oregon.

Seattle, Washington.

Vancouver, Canada.

Love it.

I mean,

I'm going a lot of places.

This is almost too many places to even fathom.

And guess what, Scott?

What's that?

More are going to be announced.

More are going to be announced.

This is an incredible tour,

certainly a jaunt that you're going to be embarking on.

And your only goal and mission.

from what you've been telling me is to entertain not only america but everyone abroad yes my goal and mission are the same thing

and it is what you said to entertain everyone in america regardless of whether or not i'm coming to your city

and the entire world

now do you think you'll hit this goalia two cities in canada do you think you'll achieve this well the whole world is my stretch goal so first if i do entertain everyone in america then i'm gonna head for entertaining the entire world by going to two cities in canada i believe

two things.

One, you're going to be starring in a movie above the title before you die.

And two, you're going to get there.

You're going to hit every single person in the world.

Every single person.

I believe in you.

I have faith in you.

Even Vladimir Putin?

I think you'll get to him eventually.

Do you think he'll like it?

I think he would like it.

I think he, honestly,

he probably has so many people coming in and kissing his ass all day.

Which world leader do you think would like my show the most?

The most.

Yes.

i think uh macron

would certainly find it amusing

theresa may is that someone i don't know wow

wow

who is that one guy with the messy hair boris boris johnson yeah johnson now it's kier starmer

starmer yeah yeah that's a great name yeah it is a good name.

It hasn't penetrated over to me yet.

You know what I mean?

He needs a better brand.

It's got to penetrate over.

You know what I mean?

Like Boris Johnson, it was a combo of his name being Boris, his hair being messy.

Yeah.

And him having like little short ties.

Did he have little short ties?

I think so.

Everything kind of makes me.

Did he feel like the opposite Trump?

He looks sort of like a little

Chris Farley character.

All of that.

Absolutely.

The combination of it all finally penetrated my consciousness where I was like, I know who that is.

Do you think Boris, he was named after Boris the Spider?

I hope so.

From

one of the best Who songs, wouldn't you agree?

It's my favorite.

Boris the Spider.

I love it.

Isn't it funny?

Bands have a certain era where they were like, let's just put this on a record.

I know what we do is really popular, but let's do something we don't do.

Yeah.

Also, I would, I really had hoped at some point the CSI franchise would expand so much that they would have to eventually use Boris the Spider as one of their theme songs.

You're saying another franchise, another installment of the franchise would have claimed Ivor the engine driver.

Yes, and mama's got a squeeze box.

And then finally, it gets to, well, all we have is Boris the Spider left.

So this is used fiddling about.

Oh, Jesus.

This is an incredible tour.

My only question now is: I'm lost as to how to find any information or buy tickets.

Oh, my God.

Scott, it couldn't be simpler.

Okay.

You go to paulftompkins.com/slash live.

Whoa.

I bet you could even go to paulftompkins.com and there would be a sidebar that said live and you could click on that.

Yeah, but that's for lawyers.

The sidebar?

Sidebar technique.

I only advise lawyers to go to the main page of the site.

There's one little thing on the side that says, may I approach the bench?

Yes.

There's another that says sidebar.

Yeah.

In any case, paulftompkins.com slash live, you get all of the information regarding uh times that it starts does it start at the same time every night or uh uh different times i bet different times i bet different times yeah but all around the same around eight ish i would imagine and uh this is a good time at the theater this is something that you can bring your loved ones to um i can only imagine you could bring your family to if they're not your loved ones sure I can only imagine you can bring your extended family to.

Yeah, if you have step siblings, go through through your family.

Go through your family tree.

If you have play cousins, whoever's still alive, hit them up

to meet you at the theater for varietopia.

Guess what?

You can bring not only your loved ones, bring your most hated enemies.

Sure.

And maybe you'll find some common ground.

That's right.

But in any case, it's good to have them in your sight lines at all times.

Yes.

Just because you don't want to be murdered by them.

So it's always good to.

I don't want to catch any strays.

How many murders will be at this show, do you think?

Like in the audience during a show?

I hate to make promises.

I'm going to say I suspect there will be zero murders.

Okay.

I would think that would be a nice round number that you would want to hit.

But again, if there is a murder in the show, I'm not saying this is going to be a murder-free show.

That's not a guarantee.

I can't promise that.

No.

But I'm going to ask people, please don't murder people at my show.

Okay, make sure there's a sign going into the theater.

Yeah.

Like those signs some theaters have to say, don't bring your gun in here.

Don't bring your gun to town, boy.

But look, I want to tell people,

this show is my favorite thing to do.

It's really such a

complete expression of all my favorite things.

Completely curated by you.

Yes, it is from my soul.

And if you like me, you will like this show.

Yes.

And I'm excited.

I'm going to say, if you're iffy on me, you'll like this show.

If people don't like you, I still think they might like the show.

I think they'll come around on you.

There's parts of it that aren't me.

Well, wonderful.

Variatopia coming to a city near you.

More cities to be announced.

We're going to take a break.

When we come back, we have someone who is working in the illustrative field.

That's very exciting, isn't it, Paul?

Yeah.

All right.

We're going to take a break.

When we come back, we'll have more Paul F.

Tompkins, more comedy bang bang.

We'll be right back after this.

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Comedy Bang Bang, we are back.

Paul of Tompkins is here.

Variatopia, aka Varietopia

is out there going to be barnstorming across this country and one other country

very soon in about a month's time.

How are you preparing to be gone for this amount of time?

I'm packing clothes.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

You didn't last too long.

This is something I learned the hard way.

You're going to need clothes.

Like when you're at home, you have all your clothes there.

I remember one time you showed up to the airport with loose clothes in your arms that you were just like carrying.

No, I did have them in my arms.

I had a bunch of clothes in my arms.

And then it was my wonderful wife who said, What if you put them in a suitcase?

That's what suitcases, some would say, are for.

A case for suits.

Yes, that's right.

I'm like, I'm a suit guy.

I need one of those.

It's interesting we don't call them clothes cases, but they were for suits back in the day, exclusively.

Exclusively.

You couldn't put shoes in them.

Nope.

Nor toiletries.

Do you put toiletries in your suitcase?

Yeah, just loose.

I don't like those containers.

Yeah.

You know why?

Because the TSA says you're supposed to have that.

TSA say.

TSA say

put toiletries in container.

Yeah.

In a little clear pouch.

When we were going all over America, it's interesting how every airport has a different take on what you can do and what you can't do.

Oh, yeah.

It's almost like it's intentionally confusing.

It's great that it's not standardized.

And then we would get to England and surprise, here's a bunch of stuff you can't do that

only we say you can't do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What I really like is that metal detectors are calibrated differently everywhere you go.

And so sometimes a belt you wear will be fine nine times out of ten.

And the tenth time you have to take it off, sometimes shoes.

Oh, I didn't know these shoes had metal in them at all.

The one thing that seemed standardized was the comedy bang bang stickers that I was carrying in one suitcase would get me taken to the side every single time because they couldn't figure out what they were.

Yes, when they see a shape that they can't recognize, they're like, this is probably a bomb.

All right, we need to get to our next guest, Paul.

He is a comic book inker.

Exciting.

You have read a few comic books in your life.

In my day, yes, I have.

I worked at a comic book store, dear.

I didn't know that.

Yes, called Comics and More on South Street.

I don't think that's come up on Threedom.

And I was fired for being late twice.

That's about the number of times I would fire someone.

And the assistant manager said, no, it was the manager who said, look, if I don't fire you, the assistant manager will report that I didn't fire you, and then he'll have my job.

Wow.

Okay.

You got to respect that.

You got to respect that.

Also, great place to work.

Oh, I can only imagine.

So you have a little experience in the field.

Oh, yeah, I know who Omaha, the cat dancer, is.

I, of course, am currently writing Astonishing Spider-Man for Marvel.

So I think we're going to be good good interviewers.

And of course, I'm writing Everyday Spider-Man.

That's right.

Yeah.

The everyday boring adventures.

He's a different guy, not Peter Parker.

Nope.

Yeah.

And nothing really happens to him.

No, he wears a sweater that has a spider on it.

Like a real spider, not embroidered.

Yeah, and he doesn't know.

That's the most exciting thing about the comic.

All right, let's talk to him and welcome him to the show.

Please welcome Guy Foreman.

Scott, thank you so much for having me.

My pleasure.

Guy, can I call you Guy?

It feels weird to call another man guy.

Like I'm saying, like, hey, guy.

Right.

You're just, you're, but it is by.

But that is your name.

Yeah, yeah.

It'd be like if my first name was dude or something.

Yeah.

Dude.

Do you ever pronounce it Guy?

Gosh, no.

I should.

If I go to France, I should, right?

Yeah, why not?

Yeah, maybe I'll start.

I mean, they're going to do that.

I might as well get ready now in case I ever do go to France.

Do you think your work will take you to France or would you go there on vacation?

I bet you would be work-related.

I can't imagine going to France for fun.

Why?

I went to Poupon once.

It was fun.

Oh, really?

That worked out?

Yeah, it all worked out.

Oh, it just seems like.

Fun equals fun.

Hey, man, explain to me what a comic book inker does.

Yeah, a lot of people who don't know what comic books, how they're put together,

they don't know what are you even talking about when you talk about inking.

Before I answer that, can I just say what a pleasure it is to talk to two people with experience in the field?

Oh, well, thank you for that.

I'm experiencing pleasure.

Honestly,

I don't know if you get tough on my voice.

I'm filled with joy.

Are you?

You're a person, right?

Oh, yeah, I am.

I'm not a robot.

No, I'm a full person.

Okay.

Full all the way.

I try to have a little bit of experience in every single,

with every single guest, in the field of every single guest.

You can't do that.

For instance, Ione Skye was

here last week, and she is both a movie star and an author, and I've done both of those.

I've been a movie star.

Austin Powers Gold member, of course.

And so I try to have a little.

Turn around.

Turn around.

Of course.

Does this look familiar?

Oh, yes, there he is.

Oh, no.

Yes, that makes sense.

So, in any case,

I am so relieved that we're talking about comic books because both Paul and I have a little experience.

But tell everyone.

I can finally relax.

Yes.

Tell everyone what you mean when you say ink or whatever.

What does that mean?

So comic books.

Now that we've gotten the thanking us for having.

Now that I got that out of the way.

Yeah, which I stopped everything in order to.

Now explain yourself.

I stopped the momentum so that I can say thank you.

I did it.

You acknowledged it.

Okay, sorry.

And now we are further stopping it.

And I don't mean to stop talking about it.

I don't want to stop this.

Zero minutes since a momentum stopped incident.

That's right.

So let's get right to it.

I don't mean to delay that anymore.

Of course.

You're asking me what an inker does.

Let us tarry no further

and let us discuss the very topic at hand,

which is what does an inker do?

What does an inker do?

Because right to the hotel.

I would like to know, and I think other people would like to know.

I think that's right.

And I would love to say it.

In fact, on my way over here, I was thinking, I better be ready to explain it.

It's going to be pleasurable for everyone involved, both the listener and for us in conversation to hear exactly what you're talking about.

Can I push back on that a little bit?

Because I am experiencing pleasure already.

I do think it is going to be pleasurable, but that's not going to imply I'm not experiencing pleasure right now.

Let me just say the pleasure shall continue then.

Yes, exactly.

That's that I would sign off on Toon Suite and that's part of a pushback.

Well, I just didn't want to, it was a pushback.

It was more of a clarification.

Clarification is

a preemptive arguing.

Yes, well, you were preemptively trying to manage expectations.

Yes, if somebody thought, if I agreed to to the fact that it would be pleasurable, I could imagine some people being like, oh, you're not having a crappy time.

Yeah.

That's not me.

That's not my style.

That's not your style.

The premise was it will be pleasurable for people who do not yet know.

That's true.

Well, actually,

you're right.

It's not a pushback.

It's not me pushback.

My premise was that it will be pleasurable for every listener as well as the three of us discussing it.

Okay, I think that's right.

And that's why you say you're already experiencing pleasure.

Correct.

But I do think it was a, I want to accept your pushback that when I said I was pushing back, it wasn't a pushback and it was a clarification.

Okay.

I believe we.

Great.

We're all set.

We're at a quorum.

I can see in your face that you're ready to move up.

What is an inker?

So an inker.

Easy.

You're holding a pen right now.

Are you doing it right now?

I'm ready to ink at any time.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Yeah.

I'm ready to ink.

I feel like whenever you have an occupation, you should walk around with your implement

as if you're an action figure of yourself.

So if you're

an angioplasty specialist, you should have a stent at the ready.

Yeah, that's right.

Sure.

If you are an angioplasty specialist, not a generalist, not someone who can do it on the side.

Sure.

But just carrying a stint.

An inker is somebody.

So in the comic book biz, you have to, there's a lot of drawings, as you know.

Yes, what normally happens is

you know what?

I've noticed that.

There are a lot of drawings.

Almost two of them.

Yeah.

It's wild though.

Because I'll turn the page and like more drawings?

Yeah, you're ready for the story to keep going.

Yeah.

And it's all drawing.

Any minute now is just going to be straight prose.

I would say almost every page of a comic book has at least one drawing.

And I'm going to go as far as to say, like, do we need all of them?

You know, like,

it's sort of like all of our governmental workers.

Let's just fire half of them.

I'm glad you said it.

You know what I mean?

Let's, let's, let's take out half of these drawings and we'll still get it.

Well, Alan Moore solved that problem by ending his comics with a 16-page unbroken prose, right?

People like the real reference.

Okay, so

inking.

Who didn't love that pirate ship part of Watchmen?

Everybody.

Oh, favorite.

I skipped the regular story.

Just for the first time.

Only the pirates.

The thrilling pirate.

Oh, my gosh.

In any case.

An inker.

So there's all these.

The writer writes the comic, then the draw,

the penciler interprets these into pictures, these writings into pictures.

Breaks it down into a storyboard.

Breaks it down.

If I could put it in movie terms.

Sure.

And then what the inker does is takes these sometimes fully fleshed out pencils, sometimes

quite rough, quite rough, and then

solidifies them, finishes them in the blackest of ink in order to, back in the day, it was in order to

show up on the printing process.

Yes.

Wait, so you trace.

Trace.

Yes.

That's often a pejorative way to describe my profession is to say it's a tracer.

And truly, if the pencil, well, okay, if the penciler is diligent,

and

they're very finished.

I am essentially tracing.

Were you going to say fentanyl?

Yeah, I was going to say if.

Now, is that a problem in your industry?

Yes.

It's unfortunately a problem in almost every industry.

Now, you know, it makes people drop dead.

That's why they like it.

It's scary.

It's a legit problem and it's bad.

Yeah.

It's strange that it's such a

drug that's used so much that there's an epidemic.

But also, if a policeman touches it, he'll die immediately.

It is weird.

Yeah.

That's weird that that happens.

Like enough people use it that it's constantly coming through our porous borders.

Porous borders, and it's all over the place.

And yet, if a police officer even brushes against it, they die.

If they enter a room with a trace of fentanyl in it,

they'll explode.

But children are using it all the time recreationally.

And 19 times out of 20, they're having a blast.

Actually, I don't know.

It seems like they're in a ball.

Nothing negative associated with that, except for the deaths.

And where was I inking?

So if the penciler is either hurried or lazy, you'll get unfinished drawings.

And it is your job as the inker to finish it up.

No.

And actually fill in blanks, to add backgrounds, to mechanize, add detail,

make a lot of artistic decisions.

Why did we mention diligent?

If they have completed their pencils thoroughly, then you're just a tracer.

Then I'm just tracing.

But if these people that were hired for this job for some reason are lazy or rushing the job.

Or overloaded a lot of time.

Yes.

But you said lazy.

Like Herbie?

Like

Herbie was overloaded.

I think he was fully loaded.

First, he was fully loaded, but then they made a sequence.

They added one suitcase on top.

Herbie was like, I can't do this.

I thought you meant Herbie Hancock, and I was like,

was he a multitasker?

Which is an older reference.

Leads nicely into actual F, by the way.

That's right.

And there was an um, didn't the art of noise have some kind of instrumental out too?

Close with Peter Gun.

Peter Gun.

Oh, Peter Gun.

Peter Gun.

They were all out within like six months of each other.

That's right.

An inker will sometimes have to do a lot of drawing.

If the pencil is in a hurry, a lot of times a pencil.

Or lazy, as you said.

Or lazy.

So if a pencil is lazy and they're trying to scam a lot of work.

So not just lazy, but dishonest as well.

Dishonest, manipulative, or con artist.

Yes.

How did this person get this job?

Well,

they'll do good for one issue.

Oh.

And they'll be like, hey, do a second one.

And then they just start to fight

or just find out that the inker is good.

So why are you an inker and not a penciler?

Yes.

That's a great question.

And

I agree.

I just, I can't think of any ideas.

I need someone to get me started.

So you read, how does it happen?

You read the script.

If I were to get a script and they'd be like, well, you know, and I've never worked for Marvel or DC.

I've only done Indie.

No, in the script, it'll say.

Indiana Jones?

Yeah, I've worked mostly just for Indiana Jones.

You worked for Indiana Jones?

Indiana Jones is a comic book.

The movie portrayal of him is that he is an archaeologist and a professor.

But the real Indiana Jones is a comic book writer.

Let me guess.

When he gets your inks, he looks at them and says, these belong in a museum.

Yeah, and I'm like, thank you.

Because for him, that's a comic book.

For him, that's a comedist praise.

For anyone else, that'd be like

slam.

There's no other way to do it.

That's true.

It's super true.

So then, guy or gi, if you're in France, why

that's good practice for you?

Why are you not a penciler?

You can't come to the picture.

I can't come to ideas.

The script might say Captain America, I don't even punches Kang.

Okay.

I'm imagining it right now.

Are you?

Because I'm blank.

My mind's a blank.

I don't know what to do.

When you read Captain America,

do you have a picture in your mind of what Captain America looks like?

I mean, I know what he looks like, but if I try to summon what he might look like punching, I can't imagine.

So when you hear Captain America, you picture him just standing there.

I picture.

Or like Alexander Hamilton just sitting there staring at the audience.

After he's done his rap.

That's true.

I picture a stick figure holding a sign that says, I'm Captain America.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

I don't even.

That's somehow more elaborate than picturing Captain America just standing there.

Well, I don't know what to tell you.

That's what comes to mind.

So does he have the mask on or this stick figure?

He's just got, he's got

a featureless stick figure.

Not even the two dots for eyes?

Not even two dots.

Wow.

Just a circle

with a two-line neck.

Okay.

And he's got a sign that.

Two-line neck.

Two-line neck.

Yeah.

Like that.

I'll draw it for you.

Like that.

Two-line neck.

Oh, wow.

Two-line neck.

So not even the whole thing.

I'll just do it for you right now.

Like, this is all I could.

I'm just drawing for these folks.

I know that's not great for

iCaptain M.

That's

M.

That's what I would.

That's all I could picture.

Captain M.

But if somebody were to give me

and he's holding the sign with two, with both arms

or that's a two-line arm

it's a one-line arm that's a one-line arm because I see two lines but see you can do the legs and then you also can

the penis by the way is the most realistic thing there's really the most yeah the most

detailed

I mean

you've drawn the veins on it you've drawn

I

think he's uncircumcised I don't know apparently he manscapes I think he's got genitals I mean, I think like the Super Soldier serial probably.

You think our superheroes out there and the MCU

and the M

and the M9.

They all have genitals.

I would imagine, yeah.

These experiments with gamma rays didn't just eradicate their genitality.

Even though Dr.

Bruce Banner was pelted with gamma rays.

I think he kept his genitals, yeah.

Can you explain why he was so mad all the time if he lost his genitals?

Do you think they shrink?

That's why he gets it.

Like a tumor, like radiation.

Oh, Chris.

This is a good question.

Like,

you know.

Well, the action figures never have genitals.

No matter if...

Never.

No matter if you pump up your muscles in the gym, your penis still stays the same size.

There's nothing you can do, right?

So the Hulk, he gets huge and big, but his penis probably stays the same size.

It must be so tiny.

That's a great point.

Yeah, because the gamma rays are just what would happen if you worked out at a time.

Yeah, even though you can make your hands bigger.

yeah.

But you know what I mean?

Like, it must be so disappointing for the Hulk to be like huge and he's got a proportionately small.

He must be so melancholy.

He must be all the time.

I mean, I bet he's angry.

You know what?

Guy, we are running out of time on this.

Well, when we come back, we're going to have more Guy Foreman.

This is exciting.

We finally learned what he does.

Now we're going to learn why he does it.

We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this.

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You know, when you

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I mean, they're two, one's two words and one's one word, first of all.

That's confusing right off the bat.

And then they're totally different

letters, although the A's, there still are two A's, but the G and the M, those aren't in Wayfair, and the W and the

Y is in both.

I mean, this is pretty similar, actually.

Game day, Wayfair.

I mean, you might think about it, but one reason you should is because Wayfair, right?

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Kulop ordered a bunch of holiday stuff.

She ordered a giant skeleton for Halloween,

a rabbit sitting with a ladybug.

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So Wayfair's not only got stuff for game day, but also has a bunch of holiday stuff that my wife likes.

In any case, Wayfair is your trusted destination for all things game day, from coolers and grills to recliners and slow cookers.

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Comedy Bang Bang, we're back.

Scott Auckerman here with Comedy Bang Bang.

Unfortunately, Paul F Tompkins had to leave.

He had to leave.

And I think he did know that was going to happen.

I think they got upset about the whole abduction.

No, I get that.

Slam at the end of our last segment.

And

I apologize.

Paul, if you're listening to this recording, I apologize.

They really believe I'm gone.

Did you hear that?

No.

They don't know I'm up in the sand.

I didn't hear it.

I should.

A lot of my hearing range has been removed.

Intentionally removed?

I had the high frequencies and the low frequencies kind of slid off.

Surgically.

Yeah.

Why?

I had a yappy dog and a bassy grandfather and

I didn't want to hear either of them.

I get that.

So I just was like, hey, you know what?

Not my problem anymore.

I get that.

Guy Foreman is here at Comic Book Inker.

And

Paul's gone.

It's the same because he was great.

Yeah.

And I don't.

Oh, Oh, he's just temporarily.

I don't even suspect that he might still be here.

I don't either.

Why would we?

We saw him leave.

Yeah, we saw him.

Yeah.

It would be disrespectful to him for us to think he was here after we started.

I take everything he does at face value because I don't think there's any kind of manipulation going on or anything like that.

You are a man who does not suspect Guiles.

It's like when Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn went to their own funeral.

You know, I am hearing something.

The frequencies must be dipping down out of the frequency.

It must be dipping down a little bit.

I am hearing a little something.

I heard a little something.

I heard

something about

Huckleberry.

You know what it probably is?

It's probably your audiobook playing over the recording equipment.

That's probably what it is.

I had an audiobook going right before

the show started.

Yep, so that's probably what it is.

You'll have to edit that out or something.

I was reading Tom Sawyer.

Uh-huh.

And I hadn't gotten to the part where it says he, he, he.

This is like when Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn go to their own funeral.

I just met a book.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Yeah.

Guy Foreman,

you're a comic book inker.

You explained what it is.

Why do you do it?

Well,

for the love, and I love the medium of comic books.

What do you love about that?

I love the stories.

I love the

power fantasy of it all.

Were you a sad little boy?

Yeah, you know what?

I'll admit, I wouldn't put it like that.

A little nerdy little boy who needed to read power fantasies about big, strong men in order to feel like you had.

That's who needs the stories most of all.

Whoa.

Excuse me, sir.

We're in the middle of a

conversation.

I'm so sorry.

I just wanted to see my old friend, Gee Foreman.

Wait a minute.

I do know this.

Remember me?

Is that.

You should say it just so that I just, because I feel like I know that you love to announce yourself.

And obviously, I know who you are now that you've stepped into the light.

That's right, faithful friend.

It's me, Ben Jammond, comic book mogul extraordinaire.

Ben Jammo!

Six Sipper Tyrannis

Tyrants, my famous catchphrase.

Yes.

Oh, Ben, it's, it's, I gotta say, it's nice to see you.

It's nice to see you and thank you for promoting a comical art.

Wow, my pleasure.

Did you know that Gee over here was going to be here?

I did.

I keep tabs on all my former employees.

I can't believe that.

You worked for Ben Jammond.

I've done as a as a contractor i did some work for hire oh like on his house or i did some work for hire on his house one of your first jobs if i'm not much mistaken put some insulation in the attic some

yeah not all my house peppered some insulation here and there throughout the attic freezing cold

that's bad for men at your age hung some drywall some just a here and there there's big gaps in the walls where the breeze comes through with a wizard tie less is more that's what they say in contracting.

I don't know why they do it, but they do say it a lot.

And I've also done some comic book work for Ben.

Oh, my gosh.

Ben, of course,

every listener who's interested in the field knows who you are.

Yes, right.

Take us through your resume.

I was the creator of Basie Grandfather.

Basy Grandfather was you.

Wow.

Yes.

And I had a real one.

He was based on Count Basie.

And he was an old man who played the upright bass.

But in times of turmoil, he could climb inside it and become

an invincible crime fighter.

Yeah, I remember the first issue was very complicated.

It was a 50-page debut issue to explain all the powers of Basie Grandfather.

And then once he becomes invincible, there's no drama anymore, right?

Yeah, he just wins straight away.

You'll be surprised because he does have a weakness.

Oh, so he's not invincible.

Invincible other than one weakness.

Other than one weakness.

And Achilles heel, perhaps.

Yes.

and what was his weakness?

His Achilles tendon.

Oh, okay.

It was literally his Achilles' tendon.

Yes, so you could just slice that, and he would kind of go, ouch!

That would help every ten issues, every ten.

Yeah, what happens in the other nine?

Smooth sailing,

he beats up the criminal.

Yes, I did some work on Basie Grandfather.

Wow, not on the first issue.

I was brought up for some fill-in issues when I thought.

Arch enemy exacto blade.

Yeah, a lot of great.

You've done so much great work.

Of course.

Who could forget Ladybug?

Yes, I don't.

The Rodney Dangerfield movie?

Yes.

Why are you bringing it up?

Who could forget it?

It's a good point.

I've made some characters for Ben.

Now, Ben does own the rights to those characters.

Exactly.

And everything you ever do.

Well, I disagree with that part of what you assert.

Designed what we call the Lorne Michaels package.

I mean,

it was some of the first work I ever did was for Ben, and

it was a pretty.

What did you do?

What other books did you work on?

I worked on Captain Gus and the

Fat Lip Duo.

Captain Gus and the Fat Lip Duo.

This is

obviously I know who this is.

That's from probably your childhood.

Yes, but describe this for the listeners who aren't as into it.

Captain Gus was just a naval ranking man who was unimportant to the navy.

Naval ranking man.

He was not in the Navy.

No, he was a naval ranking man.

He ranked.

A lot of people don't know.

You can get ranked by the Navy.

Yeah.

The Navy gave him a ranking.

You send away.

You say.

If I were to join the Navy, what would my here's my stats?

What were my rankings?

Yeah.

Captain Gus was an accountant who got ranked by the Navy as a captain.

Okay.

And he had two daughters who would, they punched each other in the face and they and their lips inflamed.

Simultaneously?

It could be, but whenever one of of them had a fat lip, they were super strong.

Okay, they would turn to each other and say, Fat lip duo, activate, and

punch each other in the face simultaneously.

And then, for like 10 to 15 minutes, while the swelling was up, they'd be incredibly strong.

That short of a time.

Wow.

Yeah,

you had to act fast.

Okay.

So, a lot of the comic would be them moving into the position and then activating their fat lips.

And then, for the brief window of time, subduing the battle.

It would be a controversial comic because when they punched each other in the face, they would both say simultaneously, fuck,

which Ben refused to have us edit out.

We tried to do like the little swirl and number sign.

Because I do that kids being bullied could relate.

So the feeling of getting punched in the face.

Fuck.

Even if you're a kid, if you get punched in the face, you're going to say fuck.

You are.

It was so real.

It might be the first time you say it.

Yep.

First you say it, then you do it.

Well, the letters into the letters column.

That's an old.

That's a reference to something else.

People felt seen when they read this comic.

Wow.

And so I did create those characters, but of course, I'm not disputing.

Ben owns the rights to those.

Sure.

And always will.

You don't need to rub my face at it.

I know the issue.

Not trying to, just re-establishing.

So Captain Gus and the Fat Lip duo was one of the ones I worked on.

What else?

The Sad Gentleman.

The Sad Gentleman.

Sorry as a backup feature.

The Sad Gentleman was like a little six-page backup we would use to fill out the issues that weren't done.

It was basically an extended hostess twinkie ad.

Now, comic book fans know that the hostess Twinkie company used to do one-page ads where Spider-Man would come across a villain and everything would get solved by everyone eating Twinkie.

Slooper Man would find some fruit pies.

Yes.

Yeah, the Hulk could get really into some ho-hos or something like that.

That tiny dick superhero.

Incredibly tiny dick Hulk.

Yeah, so yeah, the sad gentleman was at first just an original character created for a hostess ad.

Can I check out any of the sad gentlemen?

Like, oh my gosh, that you have some artwork here.

That looks exactly like you.

Yeah, it was inspired by some of my life.

This one is the sad gentleman is in an elevator and he can't remember what floor he's going to.

So he's just six panels of him like scratching his chin, starting to push a button, not pushing a button, getting lost in his phone, which at that time didn't make any sense.

He took a rotary phone.

He took a rotary phone out of his satchel and just stared at it.

Just stared at it.

And that's the end of the sad gentleman.

But the abstract nature was compelling to people.

Sure, yeah.

This sounds like indie comics, these Indiana Jones comics.

Children will write in and say, this is how I feel all the time, sad and confused.

Kids in an elevator are no agents.

They don't get to pick what floor they're going to.

So all they have is their phone number.

Kids should be able to pick the floors that we we go to.

Let the child pick the floor.

That's my

child pick the floor.

Let the child pick the floor.

Let the child pick the floor.

This is my platform.

I've said it before.

I'll say it again.

Let children pick these things.

Who cares if you end up on the wrong floor?

Yeah, where are you?

Let them push every button like they want to.

Yes.

What do you care?

What do you care?

And then wherever you end up, that's probably where you were meant to go.

That's very wise of you.

That's beautiful.

Like, where are you going with a kid anyway?

The dentist?

They don't want to go there.

Let them pick the floor.

Go somewhere else.

Pick another floor.

You're in some like DMV.

Yeah, exactly.

And just go in there.

Oh, man, those dentist offices that are right on top of the DMV.

You're going to be a DMV.

You're like, you're here for a license.

Don't run to the dentist.

Yes.

And then your child is an early start of driving.

That's true.

It all works out.

What are some of the other books that you worked on?

So, what did we say already?

Captain Gus and the Fat Lip Duo, the same thing.

Yeah, you want to make sure you don't want to say one you've already said.

I said Captain Gus and the the Fat Lip Duo.

You did, yes.

Okay.

Namely ranked Captain Gus.

Piano hands.

Piano hands.

This is a man who was a jazz trumpeter, weirdly, fell into a grand piano during a nuclear attack on

Los Angeles.

He's just on Los Angeles.

Yeah, and he emerged with two piano keyboards for hands.

But no hands to play them, I would imagine.

Tragic.

It's like an O.

Henry story.

Wow.

He's got piano keyboards and no hands to play them.

So he needs people to play his hands to enact music.

Wow.

But can he pick up stuff at all?

He can scoop them up.

Like if there's something that a piano keyboard could manipulate.

I would imagine if the top is up on a grand piano, you can scoop things.

With a piano, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I would imagine that it's.

Like if you were, if, if, if you were doing construction on your house, which you've done before, some.

And on mine.

And you couldn't get a bulldozer.

If you had a grand piano, you could probably scoop some of the rubble away.

If you had a grand piano and you were strong, you could use it for sure i would think yeah it turned it upside down you leave the lid open like a big mouth yeah yeah exactly yeah big mouth great show piano man

not piano man wait that's belief didn't i hear you on big mouth you saw me but it wasn't my voice

yeah you got your voice got cut out of the show uh they used someone else unfortunately for it uh but it was it was a a drawing of me and the guy who just left paul f dompkins okay and they used other people's voices for it for some reason you were probably you probably were not available or hard to Oh, I was very available.

I let them know I would come in and get away with that.

Well, you probably didn't have any personal connection with anybody on the show.

No, no, no.

Okay, so piano hands.

Piano hands.

Does he solve crimes?

He solves crimes.

Absolutely.

He solves crimes.

Yeah.

Well, he teams up with the detective.

He doesn't have the know-how.

He's the muscle.

Oh, okay.

He comes in just to like whap the bad guy with a big, with a big TB.

He's Sherlock Holmes needed.

You know what I mean?

He's got some asshole Watson who sits around and

documents the cases.

And is worse than Sherlock Holmes.

Like, like worse at everything.

He's way worse.

Like if he were muscle, if he was like, oh, don't, Sherlock, I'll take care of this.

Wapow.

Thank you.

Then you'd understand what he's doing.

Yes.

But instead, he's just like, oh, I say, Sherlock, why would you even

think that that would be a really shut the fuck up, Watson?

He was there in case Sherlock Holmes got shot or stabbed.

He was an understudy?

He was a medical doctor.

Oh, to attend to the wounds.

Not always does a stabbing lead to death.

See, Ben is the master of the sticks.

you are holding scissors right now i'm always holding scissors

because you're an editor tell them about bubonic bill bubonic bill was a worker at the cdc who insisted that he could cure all diseases the cbc cbc he worked for the canadian broadcasting corporation all right it's not the cdc no well

that would have been great that would have been great because we had the diseases part of it because we knew we wanted him to have the powers of the bubonic plate.

Yes, it was the CBC, not the CDC.

We should have had it be the CDC.

But I think that adds a more realistic.

Well,

he was working on the company.

It's more likely that someone will work at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation than they would at the Center for Disease Control.

It's way more relatable.

Yeah.

So this guy worked for the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.

Company.

Who knows?

Could be a company.

Yeah.

We never had to say it.

We just said Canadian.

We just said Canadian Broadcasting C because we didn't know.

So you had every character say the Canadian Broadcasting C.

Hey, I got to get back to my job at the Canadian Broadcasting C.

Okay.

This is realistic dialogue.

So far?

Yeah.

It gets unrealistic.

So then he's...

So there's a talk show where Mike Myers is interviewing Wayne Gretzky

at the Canadian Broadcasting City.

Canadian T C.

And the next guest is a scientist who's got a big vial of the bubonic plague to show.

To show, yeah.

Just to be like.

With his party trick.

Yeah.

This used to really be a problem, he was going to say, right.

But this guy, our main hero, whose name was Irving

Filibuster.

Irving Filibuster.

Was he a doctor like Dr.

Irving?

Like Dr.

J?

Like Dr.

No, he was not a doctor.

No, he was a nurse practitioner.

Okay.

Who worked at the Canadian broadcasting?

Why?

I don't know why.

If he's a nurse practitioner, why does he have this side gig?

He was there in case people got hurt.

Oh, like Watson.

I guess so.

Exactly.

Okay.

So Irving Filibuster, a nurse practitioner who worked at the Canadian Broadcasting Seat, is arrogant.

And he's like, I should be on this show, not this lousy scientist who's got a vial of the bubonic plague.

And he tries to elbow his way onto the show, but knocks into the vial of the bubonic plague, giving himself the bubonic plague.

Who is Bill?

Sorry?

The title of this is bubonic.

Bubonic.

I forgot.

And your main character's name is Irving.

Yes.

Great.

You've got an eye.

Have you ever heard of a secret identity?

Yes.

So he didn't want people to know his real identity because he wanted to continue his career as a nurse practitioner.

But he did want people to know he was a carrier of the bubonic plague.

Well, yeah, because he wanted to scare villains.

What, you know, what strikes fear in the heart of evil men?

The bubonic plague.

I would assume more than bats.

Way more.

Yeah.

If you, in a hypothetical situation, had to walk into a room with the bubonic plague loose or a room with a couple of bats.

I'd go into the bat room.

Easy, right?

But it begs the question, why not Bat Bill?

Why not Bat Bill?

He's trying to obscure his secret identity too.

He should obscure the bubonic part.

Well, no, I'm saying, why didn't Batman, why wasn't his name Bat Bill?

Yeah, throw him off the case further.

Because his name is Bruce.

When he says Batman, you automatically go, oh, he's a man.

Right, that narrows it down.

And that narrows it down.

Why not say Bat Bill?

Wouldn't Bill narrow it down even further?

But in the wrong way.

In the wrong way, where you're like, okay, we got to find somebody named Bill.

Someone named Bill who kicks ass and is rich.

Yeah.

And then there's no one there.

You know what he really should have done was called himself Bat Joker to direct all the attention at Joker.

Yes.

Make that guy's life a problem.

Yeah, exactly.

Oh, you know who just beat us up?

All about criminals?

This Bat Joker guy.

What if he called himself Bill Bat Bill Jasper of 1124 Sycamore Avenue?

Social Security number 24692.

He'd have the cops running in circles.

Oh, Ben, you should have...

I wish you were in charge of DC Comics.

I wish I was in charge of DC Comics.

What are you doing now, Ben?

Mostly I'm retired and counting money, but I do like to make cameos in films.

Oh, okay.

So, like,

I saw you recently.

I saw you in

Plumber Henry, the Plumber Henry franchise that's on Netflix.

Yes.

And I saw you in Amelia Perez.

Yes.

Remember when they were singing Peters, vagina, PS, vagina?

I was in the background looking back and forth like I was on a tennis batch.

You can also find me in the brutalist.

Really?

Yes.

What were you doing in the brutalist?

Well, when an unpleasant thing happens towards the end of the film that comes out of nowhere,

I am over in the corner of the street

enjoying.

I do a double take.

I think it undermines the moment.

And that's your performance is great, but I think the director was wrong to cut you going,

weren't you in Challengers as well, watching the tennis match as if it were a penis and vagina discussion?

Also, when they have

they're doing the three-way kiss,

you see me slightly just out to the side of the frame going, let me get it there.

And then in companion, with cameo.

I haven't seen it.

So don't spoil my cameo in companion.

Wait, you haven't seen it.

Yeah.

You're in it.

I don't know where my cameo comes.

Okay.

So please don't spoil anything about the movie.

Okay.

I'm glad you said that because I was going to spoil it.

It was a very unique situation where the director said, now, I'm going to put you in this movie.

You're not going to know where you are or anything about the story.

That's nice.

Okay.

Because you don't want to be spoiled.

I was blindfolded.

Oh, that's why.

They picked you up at your, they abducted you.

They all adopted me.

And

they put a bag over my head.

They brought me to set.

And they said, okay, we're going to say action and whip the bag off.

And then all you have to do is just sit there.

But you were also blindfolded as well, you see?

Yes.

So we're going to keep keep the blindfold on.

It makes me feel like they blindfolded you so you wouldn't know where you were going, and then they thought you were just an ugo and put the bag over your face.

Like, white bowl, I think.

I don't think that's a big thing off for the filming.

No, Ben, you're a fine-looking man.

I think it can't be true.

For a man of 102, I think I look fine.

Yeah.

You had a lot of energy.

It's my birthday today.

Hey, happy, happy birthday.

So you're 101 yesterday.

That's right.

Now you're 102.

Yes,

I'm going to be 103.

Well, that's not true.

It'll be another year, right, Ben?

When you're that old, I think the birthday should come a little more right.

That's what I'm doing.

Who knows if I'll live another year?

So tomorrow, I'm going to be 103

before the next day and just birthday cake every day.

I love birthday cake.

It's my favorite food.

It's a great one.

I like when you go to an ice cream store and it's like, birthday cake, ice cream.

No, I would go to the birthday cake store.

Yeah, thank you.

If I want a birthday cake.

I want ice cream.

Birthday cake, ice cream?

Ice cream cake?

What's going on?

What is happening here?

We got to get to the bottom of this.

That's like a cat being dressed like a dog.

Which is another great idea for a superhero, by the way.

But a dog?

Dog cat.

A cat.

Dog cat.

A dog costume.

Dog cat bill.

A cat who gets the powers of a dog.

Dog cat bill.

But what's two minutes later?

What's the secret identity of still being a cat?

But I've had a very busy year

doing cameo to the movies.

Really?

That's incredible.

We love to see you in movies.

You're a charming presence.

Yeah, I mean, that's the thing is Stan Lee, who was a contemporary of yours, right?

Yeah.

Did you know Stan?

Who?

A Marvel Comics guy.

Comics guy?

Yeah, he would show up in all these Marvel movies.

He'd be so funny and so good.

And I would be like, he's got to show up in other movies.

Yeah.

He was this guy.

He was doing my thing.

He was doing your thing.

He ripped you off, yes.

Unfortunately.

I've been doing cameos in movies since the 30s.

I remember you in Kramer vs.

Kramer.

Yes.

When he froze the glass in the restaurant.

And you're the waiter.

You go, oh,

you're one of the great double take cameos.

You were in Arsenic and Old Lace.

Yeah.

When the guy who thinks he's Teddy Roosevelt charges up the stairs, I would be at the top of the stairs.

And guess what I'd be doing?

I can't believe you said, yeah, right.

Most of these cameos are double takes.

Yeah.

I remember in Psycho, the big reveal at the end, which I won't spoil.

For anyone who hasn't seen Psycho, but a certain character is not what

she seems.

Not what she seems.

Certain character's mother, I don't want to spoil it.

A chair is wheeled around.

Yes.

Is not who we think, but is actually maybe a son of who we think.

No spoilers.

No spoilers.

No spoilers, but.

The mother.

Of a certain character.

Norman Bates.

Norman, we're talking about Norman Bates.

We're talking about Norman Bates.

No, that's not a spoiler.

That's the main character.

That's the main character.

If you see Psycho, Norman Bates is.

Right away.

He's there.

Yeah, but no no spoilers but norman bates is a relative who you see of the maternal variety correct no no spoilers further specification than that no but at the end of the movie we find out that this

maternal relative maternal relative of norman bates he was dressing up as his dead mother and stabbing people correct so and at that moment at that reveal they cut to you the pan up to you and you go

and then they do the famous hitchcock pull-out zoom forward just on you only time i did a double take where I had to pull out a Zoom Forward.

It was crazy.

And you were in both versions.

Except for Jaws, of course.

You were in the Vince Vaughan version?

Yes.

Shot-for-shot remake.

Yep.

You got to have

you.

Gus Chammon.

Gus Van Sand called me up and said, I know this is unusual, but would you mind repeating your role?

Did you want him just to use the old footage?

I said, yes, please.

And he said, no, it's going to be a color.

And I said, ah, you got me.

A color.

A color.

Going to to be a color one.

A color.

I said, which color?

And he said, all of them.

And I said, wow, big budget.

He went all out.

I thought you were the best part of the remake.

Thank you.

What about when they added the one sheet that wasn't in the original where German makes jerks off?

That was necessary.

This had to be in there.

It's sacrilege to change anything of the master's work except

for a good jerk off, which we all think he would have liked.

Psycho, otherwise perfect film, if I were to add one thing,

a lot of movies aren't.

I mean, Citizen Kane is always missing a real good jerk-off scene.

Cast a blank scene.

You got to assume he was going to see his mistress's operas, just working it up there in his box.

How great would it be if one more filmmaker did a shock-for-shock remake of a classic

style?

Yeah,

we're going to van zant this movie.

I got to say, three men on a podcast, we finally got to jerking off.

Took us a while.

That was restraint.

Well, look, guys, we are running out of time, unfortunately.

I am too.

So am I.

I'm 103.

We've already crossed into tomorrow.

Have we?

We are running out of time.

We only have time for one final feature on the show.

That is, of course, a little something called plugs.

I just can't believe my love.

I get to hear your plugs.

Rock and roll.

Finally.

Starring Michael Gross.

Kind of seems like a TV show.

Sha la la la.

That was Little Dinky Boy by T.W.

Bond.

Yeah, I loved it.

Thanks to TW Bond.

And guys, what do we plug in here?

I'll start with you, Guy Foreman.

I'm Deane Guy.

I'll plug a podcast I like called Screw It.

We're just going to talk about the Beatles.

If you want to hear a bunch of people.

I thought you didn't know who they were.

I don't know who they are, but that's why I'm plugging it.

These guys do.

These guys do.

So I'm hoping to listen to it someday because I'm

curious about that band.

But if you ever wanted to hear a couple of middle-aged people to say that this band that you know already is good, that's the podcast for you.

Do they have any sort of analysis that that elevates it at all?

Not really.

There's a lot of just whatever's topical in the band, they get they kind of go over and say things are topical in the Beatles these days.

There is a lot of Beatles releases, there are a lot of Beatles releases.

Ringo released an album last month.

I hear, even though I don't know who he is.

Uh, and uh, Ben Jamin, do you have anything you want to put?

I'm dying.

Here I go.

No, no, not now, Ben.

No, no, no, no, no, Ben.

Clear!

Clear!

Shuck Zoom!

Don't you die, dead!

Hey!

What's going on, you guys?

Hey, Paul, where'd you come from?

I fell out of the roof.

You were in the roof?

Yeah.

Oh, are you all right?

In the ceiling.

Oh, okay.

Oh, that makes sense then.

Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

It's not that.

Oh, it's quite a fall.

I fall a lot.

Oh, yeah.

You did it well.

Thank you.

You rolled.

Thank God that I had these pillows here underneath.

Pillows.

Yeah, before we started, when you got all the pillows out to show them off, I was like, Yeah, check out my pillow collection.

I actually enjoyed the pillow show,

but it was out of normal.

I usually, to be honest, I usually do a pillow show before every episode.

We just don't record it.

What's amazing is to the untrained eye, they all look exactly alike.

But you were able to walk us through the subtle differences in each pillow.

And I know I'm glad that I brought out my haystack in response to that pillow.

Your haystack collection, yes, which I thought was gorgeous.

You were so nice about it.

I mean,

no needles involved in these.

No.

A haystack is sort of a collection of hay, right?

It is.

Yeah.

In a way, it's stacked up.

Sure.

Paul,

we're doing plugs.

Do you have anything you wanted to plug?

Oh, sure.

I'd like to plug Variatopia.

We're doing our St.

Patrick's Day special in Los Angeles on Sunday, March 16th, and live streaming it to the world.

That's at Lodge Room in Los Angeles and live streamed everywhere else.

And then, of course, got to say it again: Variatorpia starts in

Iowa City, Iowa on fucking

April.

I bet it was 16.

No.

It's a little too early.

It's a little too early.

23rd, my guess.

That's my guess.

I think you're right about the 23rd, ghee.

Yeah, Wednesday, the 23rd at the Englert Theater.

It all kicks off in Iowa City.

It's a week and a day after you file your taxes.

That's exactly what I'm saying.

One week and one day.

Yep.

Wow.

I just got a text.

It's AT ⁇ T.

Great news.

Your phone is paid off.

Oh, fuck.

If you're interested in learning about our upgrade offer, reply yes to receive decrease.

Congrats.

Say yes.

I got it.

Please say yes.

I want to plug.

Hey, we still have the CBB action figures.

We still have Randy and Carissa action figures.

They've been mailing them out.

They look gorgeous.

I have some right here next to all of my others.

They are Randy Snuts and his on and off again Carissa girlfriend.

Get them to complete your set.

They are available for customers worldwide at figurecollections.com with free shipping with a U.S.

address or in Europe with cheaper import fees at actionfigureseller.com.

Nice.

I think they still have some Sprague and Big Sue action figures as well as some of the tour J.W.

Stillwater and Scott Auckerman's might still be available.

So hit them up.

Also, if you're interested in hearing the complete archive of Comedy Bang Bang, as well as every live episode we've we've ever done.

Head over to CBB World.

We have such great stuff over there.

We have ad-free episodes of this show.

We have ad-free Freedom.

We have CBB Presents

shows.

Freedom is shining out on me.

We also have

College Town.

We have Neighborhood Listen.

Scott Hasn't Seen, where we watch movies with Sprague.

So many great shows.

CBB FM.

CBB FM.

Yeah,

we certainly do that.

that is a show.

That's a fact.

Head over to there over at CBBWorld.com.

Head over to there.

You can get it via a monthly subscription or a yearly subscription.

If you get it for a year, you get two months free.

All right, let's close up the old plug bag.

open the blood bag with me, dude.

Just please don't go to let it be rude.

Dude, dude,

you gotta open the blood bag with me, dude.

All right, that was Dude Looks Like a Plug Bag by Burn Suite.

Thanks to Burnsuite.

That was great.

Guys, I want to thank you so much.

First of all, Paul, thank you so much for dropping by and feeling a stand about what's going on.

Thank you for letting me promote my little show.

Of course.

And I hope to go out there.

And I'm going to follow the tour around and go to every show.

I figured.

Yep.

I'll be there in the audience if anyone wants to say hi.

And Ginagai Fordman.

Foreman.

Foreman.

That's correct.

Ginagai.

Ginagai.

Kinagai.

So great to meet you.

Yeah.

Thanks for, I just wanted to hang out and I got to do it.

Continued success to you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

And of course, Ben Jamin's dead.

Yeah.

But rest in peace.

Is that who this is?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

We couldn't say that.

We performed CPR.

I breathed heavy

extensively.

This is grizzly.

I know.

Hey, join the club.

My nephew Todd was dead for a while.

Lying on the floor.

Alan Thick.

Alan Thick, yeah.

He's been lying here forever.

There are a lot of bodies here.

It's a curse being on this show.

Hopefully they won't ever affect you guys.

Okay.

We didn't do anything wrong.

It wouldn't be fair.

That's right.

All right.

We'll see you next time.

Thanks.

Bye.

Oh, Gecko, I just love being able to file a claim in under two minutes with the Geico app.

Could you sign it?

Sign what?

The app?

Sure.

Oh, it rubbed off the screen when I touched it.

Could you sign it again?

Anything to help, I suppose.

Get more than just savings.

Get more with Geico.

I'm going to put you on, nephew.

I don't.

Welcome to McDonald's.

Can I take your order?

Miss, I've been hitting up McDonald's for years.

Now it's back.

We need snack raps.

What's a snack rap?

It's the return of something great.

Snackrap is back.

Hey everybody, it's Paul Scheer, host of How Did This Get Made, a podcast that covers the best, worst movies.

This week, we're diving into the brand new War of the Worlds reboot, starring Ice Cube.

Yes, the movie that got 2% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Ice Cube is saving the world from aliens via his computer.

It's so convoluted, this plot, but basically, if you have an Amazon account, you can save the day just like Ice Cube.

There is so much going on in this movie, so join me, June Diane Rayfield, and Jason Manzukis, as we break down every bizarre choice and every Ice Cube one-liner on this week's episode of How Did This Get Made, the podcast that makes sense of movies that don't.