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We know who's on first and what's on second, but my wife and I saw you from across the bar and would love for you to be our third.

Oh, welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.

Thank you.

Polly, baby.

Thank you to Quinn the Basin Bennett for that catchphrase submission.

Love your nickname, the Basin Street.

The Basin.

Yeah, what do you think that's about?

Wow, I wonder if it's like the Basin Street Blues or some sort of repository.

An actual basin.

What?

To wash it, to pee into?

Okay.

I was going to say to like wash your clothes in or something.

I was thinking like a bedpan kind of situation.

Okay, then why not like the bedpan?

Yeah.

What's the person's name?

Quinn the Bedpan Bennett.

Quinn the Bedpan Bennett.

Your nickname is officially changed.

Change all of your logins.

Change your passwords.

Change your social security number probably if that's possible.

Yes, because I'm sure they had already changed it to the basin.

Can you change your social security number to a word?

Yeah, to a word.

Yep.

Can you get any symbols in there?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You have to now include a couple of symbols.

And uppercase and lowercase.

Yeah, maybe a heart emoji, you know?

Definitely.

Definitely.

You can choose from like six different emojis.

Can you do the panting emoji?

It's heart.

It's dancing lady in red dress.

It's eggplant.

It is 100.

Yellow thumb up.

Yellow thumb up and the Greek flag.

Oh, wow.

Oh, the Greek flag.

Which is great for me.

Yeah, fantastic.

Hey, welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week.

My name is Scott Ackerman.

I'm the host of Comedy Bang Bang.

Coming up a little later on the show.

So far, you're the host.

Up until this.

That may change.

Here we are, 2025.

You remain the host.

For the past 16 plus years, I've been.

Could there be a coup?

Sure.

A bloodless coup, I hope.

Who knows?

You never know.

They never say whether it was bloodful or bloodless.

A bloodful.

A bloodful coup.

There was a bloodful coup.

Hopefully that won't be you, though.

No, no, no.

I would do it peacefully.

Yeah.

I hope I would say something like Etu, Jason, or something.

No, that would be so cool, classic.

I would love that.

You know, the immortal bard.

Oh, speak the word

as he comes trippingly off the tongue, et cetera, et cetera.

And he invented, et cetera, et cetera, right he did yeah he was the first known recorded person i can't remember if they had recordings then that we don't have he was first known et he was the first known et yeah he went to name it tonight

mary heart's legs yeah remember those she got him insured for a million dollars i think they were fake you think the legs were fake i think they were you think she's an oscar petrorius what's his name petrorius i think they were an oscar petrorius um Petronas?

I think, yes, Expecto Petronum.

I think they were an Oscar Petronas.

What if Harry Potter was there and just suddenly he was like, I got to imagine my Petronas?

Yes, he is.

And then this guy with his fake legs, his big spear legs comes over and just stabs everybody else.

And kills his girlfriend and shoots his girlfriend through the bedroom

through the bedroom door.

You know this person.

I do want to say this is coming up a little later.

What are you going to say?

Coming up a little later, we have a foreign exchange student on the show.

We also have someone from America's Heartland.

Would they let you keep participating in the foreign exchange program?

That's right.

People move in and out of here all the time.

So remember, here at Comedy Bang Bang, we care.

That's our tagline for 2025.

I love that.

Yeah.

Almost done.

Wrapping it up.

Almost done.

Yeah.

Putting a wrap up.

We're going to put our tagline here.

Yeah.

We're putting the big giants' Christmas bow on the year.

Right.

Because this is a Christian podcast.

Everybody knows this is a Christian podcast.

Don't say a holiday bow, Jason.

Oh, I didn't.

Yeah, I didn't.

I doubled down on your Christmas bow.

Speaking of doubling down, he is a man with two names.

And only two names.

I have no middle name.

That's right.

And if anyone, by the way, he does have a secret one.

If you can guess it and you say it to him on the street, it's like a rumble.

He has to give you all his gold.

It's a Rumpelstiltskin scenario.

Yep.

And your baby back.

Baby back, baby.

Baby back, baby back.

Baby back.

You know him from such shows as Percy Jackson, the weird guy with the lightning stuff.

Yep.

You know him from one of the Star Trek things.

One of them.

You watch them all and you'll figure it out.

Of course he's the TikTok man in the John Wickiverse.

Okay, TikTok, Mr.

Wick.

Yes, that's right.

Please welcome back to the show, Jason Manzukas.

Scotty, thrilled to be here.

Thrilled to have you on the show.

Here we go.

Welcome to our.

It is autumn 2025 and we are living the dream.

The leaves have all changed colors here in Los Angeles.

Are you drinking that pumpkin spice?

Spice life?

I don't, wow, it's so loud.

Everybody just reached for the knobs.

I don't know how the volume normalizes.

You don't on this

nod in your earphones.

I listen to this podcast.

You don't.

Oh, really?

No, you're screaming constantly.

Here we are in the fall.

And I'm here to admit.

I'm here to admit.

Okay, Paisley.

Oh, I don't serve.

Okay, here's a real question, and I will answer your question before, but what I really want to know is how can we see the six-hour Prince documentary that family nine?

Okay, then rather than nine.

Oh, you're right.

It is nine.

Yeah.

Because that was the argument they used.

If anyone has a filmmaker-made narrative.

one guy who sends who sends me all this bootleg stuff all the time really yeah he has his own podcast he's a fellow podcast oh i love this i think i know who it is yeah he sends me all this kind of stuff if anyone has it he has it great you know who you are guy griffin

send us send us this send us that shit and i'm also looking for the six hours griffin already knows this because i've i've tasked him already the six hour tom cruise acting class workshop i haven't heard about this

I only just recently heard about it.

Tom Cruise has apparently made a six-hour acting class video, a la the Michael Caine videos that got passed around years ago.

Michael Caine.

Sorry, did you want to do a did you want to do that?

I was bringing back my character from the Austin Powers franchise, which is the young Michael Caine.

Yes, I remember.

Yes.

So beautiful.

Yes.

An impression I worked up for the audition and never got to use in the finished product.

How long did you live with Michael Caine?

We were rooming

for

we were in the back cave together.

I was Batman for a brief period and he was Alfred.

That's so cool.

And then they replaced me.

Yeah.

You get replaced a lot.

Yeah.

They replaced me in the Austin Powers movie with the real footage.

With just your back.

Well, no, they used my own back.

Yeah.

But a lot of people felt like that even your back wasn't a compelling performance.

Yeah.

That people were tuning out during that scene.

People tuned out in the theaters.

In the theaters, they switched channels.

Hey, can we switch channels on this thing?

Yeah, I understand.

Anyway, Michael Caine, Tom Cruise, he has a six-hour six-hour acting workshop that I'm genuinely intrigued.

Yeah, I'd love to know.

What is it like?

Hang off the side of a building for five minutes.

Well, I hope it's I hope the other thing that I heard, and this is,

I suspect, an apocryphal story, is that Tom Cruise told Glenn Powell, his perceived successor, that he needs to, as soon as possible, look at video of yourself running because you don't look as cool as you think.

Was he talking about Mission Impossible 3 with the big, the

huge arms?

He does that run in all the Mission Impossible.

Are you kidding?

I have to.

In the final reckoning, he runs for, I'm going to say 75% of the movie.

Look, this has come up on my other show.

Scott hasn't seen it.

I don't think he runs it.

He doesn't do the big arms.

He does the arms.

He doesn't do the arms in every single movie.

He does the arms in every single movie.

I know these movies like the movie.

I don't think you do.

Freaking do you?

I don't think you do.

He's trotted it out for like three seconds in one of them.

He does it in all of them because he thinks it looks cool as hell.

Anyway, look it up.

Jason Kazuchas.

Look it up.

Mankazukas?

Yep.

Jason Mankazucas.

Mankazuchis.

God damn it.

Mank was about you, wasn't it?

Yes, yes.

When you were blacklisted, yeah, oh my god.

Remember when I was Mank?

Yep.

That was a great.

I mean, the reboot is good.

Yeah.

What's the guy's name in it?

Gary Collins.

Who is it?

Gary Collins.

Gary Collins is is Mank.

Gary Collins is Mank.

Ian.

Mank too.

Terror on the lot.

It's wonderful to have you back, Jason.

You're a great friend.

Thrilled to be here.

We'd love to have you on this show on this auspicious day.

I think that it is an auspicious day, is it not?

Whoa.

Holy shit, that scared the hell out of me.

Was that you, Jason?

No, it was not.

Someone else is here.

It's me.

He's right there.

I'm right here.

Jesus.

Oh, my God.

I turned my head slightly to the left.

You're right.

You're

two two inches away from me.

How did you get in here?

I zealiged on you guys.

You full on

me.

What does that mean?

I turned into my environment.

Oh, I understand.

I have such a lack of personality that I become my surroundings.

What's crazy is you're wearing

so many metal

apparatus.

You're wearing so much noisy stuff, but you get snuck in here, sat down, put cans on, and got all set up at a microphone without us hearing any of it.

Yeah.

That's right.

I also think it's amazing you're using Zelig as a reference after the whole Woody Alvin stuff instead of just coming.

What happened?

Oh,

gosh.

Oh, boy.

It's been so long, I don't even remember.

Oh, boy.

You know what?

Maybe.

That's what these things are like, right?

You just ride it out.

Truly.

I mean, he was just on Bill Maher.

That's right.

The fellow podcaster.

Fellow podcaster.

We protect our own.

He went to the Night Cave.

What is it called?

No, what is it called?

What is it called?

It's called Club Random.

He went to Club Random.

He went to Club Cave.

The Night Cave.

Boy, would I love to be a fly in the wall at Club Random with Woody Allen?

Can you imagine those conversations like the Algonquin Round Table?

Oh, it's like a Club Random.

Table at Elaine's, except now it's Club Random.

Two tiny men on giant puffy chairs.

Puffy chairs.

Boy, that came up in the trial, I think.

You don't want to be bent over one of those.

The puffy chair, the Duplas Brothers first movie?

Not sure about that.

But hi, Bob.

Bob Duca is here.

Bob,

for the newer listener, Bob is my ex-stepfather.

He was unwell.

Oh, no.

I anticipated what you were going to ask.

He's married to my mother for six months.

Six glorious months.

Back in the middle.

Still a deep party or 90s, I think.

And yeah, anyway.

I'm unwell, Scott.

How are you?

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Sorry, let me get to it.

How are you?

Pretty good.

No, that's not true.

That was a reflex.

I happened to not be in the neighborhood, and I thought I'd come by and

get some solace from you because

we become, as the years go by, I think of you more almost like a best friend rather than the family.

I would love to segue out of our father-son relationship.

That'll always be there.

I'm not going to go there.

I don't think that moving into the best friend territory is exactly where I want to go.

That's salt and meat.

That'll always be together.

What an incredible relationship to be able to have a father-son dynamic that blossoms in adulthood into best friends.

Into just acquaintances.

That would be amazing for me.

Why are you putting so many walls up?

I don't know.

I don't know.

What is it about me?

I feel like I have too many close relationships in my life.

You're probably spoiled as a child.

They spared the rod,

if that means anything to you.

And then up go the walls.

So, Bob, what's going on with you?

Why are you so unwilling?

I'm sorry asking.

Yeah.

I recently went to Dave and Buster's and had

a horrible, horrible experience.

Oh, no.

It's such a fun place.

That's what I thought.

What context did you go?

Yeah, why were you there?

You were part of a birthday party.

Some sort of birthday party.

I was celebrating for a contractor.

And it's not.

Wait a minute.

Going

to.

Going table to table?

Wait, wait.

And you thought, did you think Dave and Buster's was someplace, yeah, someplace where they would congregate?

Yes.

Yeah, okay.

Yes, I thought it was their shop.

And if one was named Dave, all the better.

Sure, sure.

But in your mind, contractors are traditionally named Dave or Buster, so this must be a place where Dave's and Busters are.

Well, I needed specific work done, which was demo a deconstruction.

Busting.

Yes.

Got it.

And I've never met a Dave that I don't trust.

Okay.

Trust to bust?

And what kind of work?

To other people?

I go, you can't trust this.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

I don't know the reference.

What do you need busted?

What is what's happening in your life?

To be honest, please don't say ghosts.

You, yeah.

If it's ghosts, I mean, I know that we're we're in almost in October in a couple of days, but

it's not time for the Halloween episode.

So if you're talking about ghosts, I'm out.

For this reason, I'm out.

Okay, sharks.

I got a, you know how pregnant women will get a cast of their tummy?

No, I don't know that.

I've never heard of that.

Tell us more about this, Bob.

Where do you go?

Don't get me started about pregnant ladies' tummies.

I do happen to notice that you have quite a bit of plaster of Paris in your back.

And I can't get it off.

I was advised by my life coach to

mother myself.

I have an inner child, of course, so that means I have an outer mother.

Inner child, outer mother.

And as you know, I'm dripping with estrogen.

Good lord.

Just a word I would never want you to use.

I'm going in male perimenopause.

What does that entail, exactly?

Well, look at these tits.

You tell me.

Put them on the glass.

just so i can see them a little oh yeah yeah yeah you managrams here

managrams managrams

yes just making sure so so what are you trying to are you saying i were constructing a a large i had my i had my i had a cast made of my tummy okay that i would then put up in my home okay to send reverence and uh to to to my inner child so you don't wear it you just you don't fall into a giant cast you put you put the plaster on your tummy, it hardens.

And by the way, thank you for using the word tummy.

Oh, yes,

rather than any medical terms, right?

Right.

And then, and then you

make a statue, like a statue of that.

You know, when people do that with their faces, they make a thing of their face.

I've seen the comedy and drama mask up on the wall of any woman I've ever dated since 1985.

Wow, you've been dating her daughter.

Are you a drama teacher?

Interesting.

Anyway, and I couldn't get this plaster off.

I used the wrong combo.

Oh, wow.

No, Bob.

And I'm very mad.

I got it from a slime YouTuber.

I got the recipe from a slime YouTuber.

What is a slime YouTuber?

They make slime.

Oh, okay.

Do they pour it on themselves, a la Nickelodeon?

No, they just make it.

It's slime, you know, slime slime.

It's wrong slime.

Wrong slime.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Good reference.

And anyway, I couldn't get it off.

So I went to Dave and Buster's, and and it turns out it's not a licensed contractor or a demo place.

There's not a sledgehammer in sight.

Was anyone there close to a contractor?

There were some people in MAGA shirts.

Okay.

Yeah, that's a good thing.

That tracks.

It's not food.

It's an arcade.

Games arcade, a game in Borgia.

We know what Dave and Buster is.

Yes,

it's a big place.

They have sports TVs.

They have bar.

They have food.

Well, they just have TVs with sports options.

They're not sports.

No, I don't think so.

What do you mean?

Different TVs for different events.

No.

Yes.

Not a movie TV.

No, they are the same, Bob.

Nothing.

You only need one switch.

Wait a minute.

Are you switching your TV out anytime you want to watch a different type of program at your house?

I'm at Costco.

Or are you every other day?

Or are you

not watching certain things because you think it won't appear on your TV?

The res is bad.

Bad res.

Bad res.

Speaking of bad res, I made a bad reservation.

Oh, no, where?

Where?

At Dave and Buster.

Oh, what happened?

happened?

There was plenty of seats, but they wanted me to make a reservation.

There's a matrix there.

So I decided to check it out, even though I knew the menu would not be good for me.

I was very, very hungry.

Why is the menu not good for you?

Oh, just because of your food intolerances?

Yes.

What did you end up eating?

Thanks for asking.

I ate these foods and they got me very, very sick.

And if I could have just a moment of silence.

Sure.

When I read these off, I want people to understand that this is a very emotional time for me.

And as I read these, I'm letting them go.

The following is a list of foods that I recently ate at Davenbuster's:

Smash Burger,

Smoke ass ribs with honey glazed Atari sauce,

cheese stick stack,

Barbacoa quesadilla, Loaded barbacoa fries.

Lee Iacoca onion rings.

Meat lover's funnel cake.

Pretzel dog French toast.

Truffle-dusted lost and found salad.

Loaded nachos.

Yoked nachos.

Buff nachos with Blue Lives Matter dipping sauce.

Punisher flag nachos with Go Rock queso and a side of bullets.

Fajitas.

Lemon pepper chicken wings.

With Nintendo dip.

Berry pepper chicken wings.

Red Bull pancakes with honey barbecue chunks.

Apple wood smoke bartender key card.

Aioli tasting flight.

Slurpee martini.

Jalapino Guinness.

Habanero Smart Water.

Garlic Parm Banana Bread.

Pan-fried arcade bologna.

Bone and salami sliders.

Han-breaded chimp strips with Sega glaze.

Pickle brined crispy pigeon sandwich.

Southwest salmon plate.

Northeast carp platter.

Four corners diarrhea bone.

Beer-battered onion rings.

And breaded elder abuse matzerox.

All of which left me feeling very, very ill.

Yeah, Bob, wow.

That's that's uh, you ate all of them?

Yes.

Yeah, aside from the quality, I thought it was a game.

Oh, you thought the menu was a game?

I thought everything was a game.

Did they give you tickets afterwards?

Did you win anything?

They did.

They did.

They did give me.

They felt bad.

They said if I didn't sue, they'd give me tokens.

Wow.

Oh, tokens to play other games.

and it only got worse from there.

Oh, no.

Oh, what?

The following are injuries that I received in the arcade.

Playing the games?

Oh, gosh.

Oh, God.

Although these were playing, I was playing games, but I didn't realize I was playing with my life.

Human claw machine wedgie.

I was

roughed up by arcade urchins.

Halotosis.

Dance, dance, revolution, meniscus tear.

first-person shooter cooties,

fortnight sweats,

held diverticulosis,

curved spine craft,

centipediatric diabetes,

galligatism,

the legend of Zika,

Breath of the Wild,

Tears of the Kidney Cysts, and It's a me, Mercer.

It's a me, Mercer.

So, as you can imagine, I feel awful.

Bob, I'm so sorry.

Now I'm your problem because I need solace.

I look, we're in the middle of a show.

I don't know if you know that, but we're recording Coffee Bang Bang right now.

Yeah,

this, I mean, Jason and I hang out occasionally, but and we hang out occasionally in front of microphones.

Yes, of course.

But yes, no, we are recording.

I thought these were like steampunk hearing aids that you had with these.

No, no, these are, yeah, they're.

Sounds like you're leading into a new list.

Well, Bob, we'll do what we can.

I mean, this sounds like a terrible ordeal for you.

Is there anything?

Yes, is there any?

Can we call someone on your behalf?

You guys are rich.

Do you do that

thing where they come with IV drips?

I have had that.

I've done it.

Yeah,

chicken soup, IV drip, or whatever it is.

It's not soup, it was mainly mixed.

So those Burt Kreischer post-party IV drips.

I don't know if they're branded that way, but

I don't know what Burt Kreischer does with

whether.

Oh, like you don't listen to two bears, one cave.

Look, I love podcasters, but that's not one that I partook upon.

What are your favorite podcasts, Bob?

I'm just so curious.

It sounds like you listen to 1010 Winds news.

Okay, yeah, you give us 10 minutes, we'll give you the world.

Uh-huh.

Traffic and weather on the ones.

Okay, well, that's still 10-10 wins.

Yeah, why do you only have 10 minutes, Bob?

It seems like you don't do anything.

I got to think about it.

You don't have a job.

And I think you might just be listening to New York Radio.

New York AM radio.

I can't imagine that's a podcast.

Brian Lair.

Okay, no, that's WNYC.

That's a.

I don't think so.

Brian Lair, he's the morning man on WNYC.

Trust us.

We know about these things.

Anyway, there's a lot of them.

Do not say Satirius Johnson.

Well, Bob, I don't know what we can do.

Bob Edwards.

Sure.

But you can stick around and do the show with us if that's

Leonard Lope.

I mean, you're just sort of a co-host, sort of like what Jason does.

He interrupts all the time.

Okay.

What do we, okay?

You do.

You be.

Okay.

We'll do

it.

I'll be like the wolf.

You're Scott Ackerman and the wolf.

I don't know that you need to adopt someone hey what's that what's it my wife made me go buy tampons hey wolf you're married oh boy don't even uh remind me of it boy oh okay she's she well you brought it up yeah yeah she cheated on me

wolf no what happened after or before you bought her the tampons

what happened

I bought it yeah I bought her the tampons okay

I tried to save money Oh, no.

And what did you do?

What did you end up buying?

I went to an Army surplus store.

I bought her old World War II gauze.

World War II gauze?

Gauze.

Like a medic supply.

Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's not.

You don't want to put that anywhere near a sensitive area.

Yeah.

They're called mash pads.

I believe you, man.

It's just no, I believe you too.

How would you know to do that?

Why not just go buy tampons, in other words?

Hey, man, I'm a guy.

I don't want to do that.

Classic wolf.

Hey, call in right now if you've ever been in that situation where your lady says, Come by your tampons.

And you're

wolf, we can't take calls on car.

But that is how about this, though.

If you want to call in to a future episode, leave a voicemail for Scott.

Send Scott a voicemail that's asking the wolf any questions you want.

And tell me which stocks are

going off right then.

And then you know now

to get them.

Sure, I don't know that in the future that'll help you out.

But people can leave that information in their voicemails.

Yeah, leave stock information.

And what was the other thing?

Any questions you have for the wolf, if that's ever happened to you before, where your wife says to go buy tampons and you instead

go to the Army, Navy Surplus,

and buy MASHP.

You're just trying to watch the game, and she says, Can you give me a touch?

What are you watching?

The guy, oh man,

they hired the Japanese guy came in and they spent it.

He's so expensive.

That one.

You mainly watch for the salaries.

Is that what I'm getting?

Well, look, Wolf or Bob or whoever.

I love this.

I love having Bob in as the wolf.

This is Bob is.

Yeah, if you want to stay in character as the wolf the entire time, we usually don't have people coming in and doing characters, but if you want to do that, that's fine.

Okay.

I mean, I will say, Bob, it came so naturally.

Oh, thank you.

Almost as if you've been preparing for this your entire life.

Really?

You were so deep in it.

I was, it's weird.

I was bit by a morning DJ one time.

Oh, boy.

Okay.

Was he right?

Was it Wolfman J?

I don't know.

But then I heard that there's a curse that I may turn into one.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Boy.

A midday wolf transformation.

Look, Jason and Wolf, you're going to stay as the wolf.

Yeah.

We need to take a break.

Let's get the lead out.

Yeah, we have a big show.

Is it two for Tuesday as well?

So we got two Led Zeppelin songs coming your way.

I think, yeah, we're going to do two Led Zeppelin songs and then a few ads.

And then when we come back, we're going to have a foreign exchange student.

And coming up a little later, we have someone from America's Heartland.

This is a packed show.

This is amazing.

Incredible stuff.

We're going to be right back with more comedy banging

with Jason and the wolf.

After this,

is there anything better than seeing your favorite neighborhood businesses grow?

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That's nationaldebtrelief.com.

Hello, everyone.

This is Scott Augerman of Comedy Bang Bang, and I want to tell you about a podcast that I think you're going to love.

It's called Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade.

Now, you know, I'm a big fan of both of these gentlemen.

Dana has been on Comedy Bang Bang.

They're the legendary Saturday Night Live stars.

And what they do is they take you behind the scenes at SNL and, of course, the larger entertainment world.

Every Thursday, the guys hang out with friends and comedy icons like Will Arnett, Nate Bargatzi, Amy Poehler, Jerry Seinfeld, so many more.

And on Mondays, join Dana and David as they riff on current events, pop culture, trending clips, and answer all of your audience questions.

Kick back, relax, enjoy the comedy, absurdity, and world-class banter from your favorite duo.

Follow and listen to Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade everywhere you get your podcasts.

Comedy Bang Bang, we're back.

Of course, Comedy Bang Bang with Jason and the Wolf.

We have Jason Manzoukas here.

All right.

Doing his best.

We're back with the wolf.

What's up, Wolfman?

Did you know you could do a Wolfman jack?

All right.

All right.

That's basically it.

We also have the Wolf here, who is our co-host, at least for the foreseeable future.

Has this ever happened to you and your wife?

Like, where's the remote control?

And you're like, hey,

I got to take it down.

This fence,

I got to fix this.

You want me to fix the fence or do you want the remote control?

Why not both?

Like, she could watch whatever she wants while you fix the fence.

That's a good point.

Just do the wolf.

I'm not criticizing wolf.

It's stupid.

Just do the wolf now.

Just do the wolf.

Yeah, just do the wolf now.

We'll save it.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

Sounds like a wolf.

Dying duck.

Is the wolf okay?

The wolf has lupus.

Oh, how ironic.

Lupine lupus?

Lupine lupus.

I'm so sorry to hear that, wolf.

Well,

you know, our best goes out to you and your family as you try to get through this difficult time.

But we do need to get to our next guest.

Let's see.

He's a foreign exchange student.

This is fascinating.

Every once in a while, we bring people on from different cultures, different countries, and we like to talk to them about their lives.

And today is no exception.

Please welcome to the show for the first time, Peter Strussel.

You guys.

Hi.

Hey, Peter.

How are you?

I'm amazing.

Oh, wow.

Oh, that's awesome.

You guys, it's so good to be here.

This is the wolf.

Hold on, if I may speak in my regular voice, I'm actually Bob.

Bob, that was incredible.

thank you i couldn't believe how he became the wolf right oh wow i'm jason just so you know jason and jay also known as jeffrey character wheaties oh yes can we hear from jeffrey yeah

and i am jeffrey character wheaties yeah so yeah very different oh my god yeah everyone's so talented here and scott i know you because i've been staying in your guest house

i have uh multiple guest houses on the property and i like to bring people in from various other cultures It's so generous of you to be hosting people from other cultures.

Peter, where are you?

Where do you hail from?

Where are you from?

Austria.

Oh, wow.

Austria.

Yeah.

And I've been having summer here and staying in Scott's guest house.

I did want to ask, summer's over at this point.

How much longer are you going to be here?

Well, that's the question.

It's autumn now.

It's so beautiful out.

Oh, my.

You have to stay here for autumn.

It's so California autumns.

they're so amazing.

It's beat six degrees,

nothing changes.

The leaves are turning that orange and red, the crisp air.

Oh, I can't wait.

And that's actually, I'm looking for a place to stay.

Sounds like Scott doesn't want me anymore.

I really does.

No.

I could be, I could, I don't know.

I could reconsider if you like.

What do you have plans to do while you're here?

I guess go hiking.

Sure.

Okay, I guess I meant more long-term.

Like, why do you want to stay here?

Oh, it's so beautiful.

And also, probably for like medical procedure, maybe.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

Okay.

What's up?

You guys.

Why, Bob?

Bob, I mean, the wolf's ears pricked up.

Is that part of a thing?

If you're an exchange student, do you get medical procedures?

Well,

did you...

Maybe we could swap you for Bob over here?

You could go to Austria and get some medical procedures.

Well, no, it sounds like a medical program.

Peter's here

for a medical procedure.

But if you swap, maybe you'll get it.

If it's an exchange program, maybe you can go and get Austrian medical procedure while Peter's getting American.

Are you looking for medical procedures?

I want an Austrian colonoscopy.

What's the difference between the two?

Chocolate.

Oh, okay.

Chocolate comes out instead of...

I don't think that's cheaper.

I don't know.

I don't think that's chocolate.

I don't think that's chocolate.

And the same stuff comes out either.

Yeah.

Oh, I don't know.

It's just that our chocolate is worse than Europe's chocolate.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Austria.

Now, does it?

I feel like everything smells like candy there.

It really does.

It's so wonderful over there, but not as good as here in Los Angeles in Scottsburg.

USA, baby.

That's wow.

And so, how long have you been here?

What have you been doing for your summer?

Well, I had an internship before.

Great.

And then it ran out.

So my visa was in a tricky situation.

Oh, be careful.

You guys, I was scared.

But then Scott sponsored me.

Thank you, Scott.

Oh, yeah.

I actually, no, I called Ice.

It was very, I mean, I know I can see where the confusion is, but no, I ratted you out, actually.

I don't know why they haven't shown up.

Well, actually, Ice did show up.

We became the best of friends.

Oh, wow.

You guys,

they're not so bad.

This is the wolf.

You know, I'm better than Dean Kane, and I gotta say this is the best.

You don't have to say this is the wolf.

Well, I just want to say that.

You don't have to say this is the wolf.

Dancing.

the wolf i'm the wolf that that that the dean kane is uh speaking of ice you know he's he's uh he's like uh he's incredible in incredible shape and he's doing something how's he doing he injured himself doing that obstacle course i know

oh i didn't hear about that oh yeah

even with his fingerless gloves

He's feeling the cane pain right now.

Yeah.

But so Peter, so you've made friends with ICE.

You're here for a while.

They're not that bad, according to you.

Wow.

And so what you want some medical procedures?

What is it you want to do with your life?

What do you think that you want, medically speaking?

Or is this a necessity?

It's a necessity, unfortunately.

Yeah.

But it's kind of depressing.

We don't even have to talk about it.

We can talk about Los Angeles in autumn.

So beautiful.

It's gorgeous.

It is.

It is gorgeous.

But yeah, I do need to get a very serious transplant.

Okay, it sounds like a lot of people.

And the fall is the perfect time of year to go for a picnic.

Yes.

You know, go take a picnic into the park.

My favorite park.

Elysian.

Sure.

It's a good one.

I mean, we could name Los Angeles landmarks all day, but it is.

Oh, please.

Oh, please.

Yeah.

When I said that, I kind of made it.

You started.

You gotta get started, Scott.

Go ahead.

Ray's Famous Pizza.

The battery.

The Automotive Museum on Wilshire.

Johnny's across the street.

Nope.

But look.

this is the longest Scott has ever talked to me.

Wow.

Scott, why aren't you talking to Peter?

Well, I didn't realize, Peter, that that was part of the arrangement that we had.

I mean, I basically sent someone over there to Austria and someone I was trying to get rid of here.

And I didn't realize we had that was the exchange.

Yes.

Yeah.

But what's the transplant?

Because I know people with extra standards.

And just out of curiosity, only because it's moving into autumn and fall and all that comes with it.

Peter, are you a pumpkin eater?

What's pumpkin?

What's pumpkin?

Do you not have pumpkins in Austria?

And we do want to get to whatever transplants you need.

That I just want to be clear, but we would love to get to the bottom of this pumpkin situation.

Yeah, I me too.

How does it look?

Well, it's look, I mean, it's, have you ever seen a basketball?

The most orange ball?

Yeah.

Los Angeles.

Maybe that's a good start.

Beautiful, so full of basketball courts where I play one-on-one.

Really?

Against whom?

In Bellevue Park.

Nice.

In Barnesdale Park.

Great.

All the bees, all the bee parks.

And then I said Elysian is the one.

We said Elysian.

Yeah, we're going alphabetically with the parks.

Yep.

We're moving backwards.

So basketball, pretty much.

I'm on the same page, you guys.

Okay, so imagine a basketball, but then put like a little green or kind of off-white

stem on

the orange gourd.

A gourd.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

That's a better way of describing what it is.

A much better way.

You know, a pumpkin is a fruit.

Is it really?

Yeah.

All gourds are fruits.

Great.

Just letting you know.

Fruits are gourds.

There you go.

Thanks, Wolf.

Speaking of parks, I work out at Venice Beach because I love,

it's medically proven in the hot, hot, hot sun, you can lift more weight.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

You are, you seem to be, since last I saw you, though, have lost quite a bit of weight.

I have.

Yeah.

Are you on the shot?

Are you on Ozempic?

Uh-huh.

I don't know if it's cool to ask.

Yeah, I have an Ozempic sniper.

They don't tell me when it's coming.

Yeah.

Because I feel like it's effeminate to take it.

Sure, sure.

So I just have, I hire somebody and I say, I wouldn't be surprised.

Sure, sure.

So you just have someone with a tranquilizer gun, but instead of delivering a tranquilizer, the dark.

They do it in the cutest ways.

Oh, yeah.

Sometimes at 500 yards.

Yep.

Sometimes they're just in a garbage can and they come up.

Oh my God, the wolf.

I think I saw you in Venice.

Oh, yeah.

Are you skateboarding?

Yeah, I skateboard with no shirt and thick jeans.

How many ounces are those jeans, man?

They seem

heavy.

And these jeans have not lost anything.

That salvage is heavy.

They have a width of like an inch and a half or something.

Incredible.

Yeah.

These are car hearts from the 70s.

Oh my gosh.

They're made out of fire hose.

Ounces, you say.

Yeah.

They use them to cut diamonds.

It's fluid ounces.

So the jeans are wet?

Yeah.

They get on the inside.

They get poured on.

They're wet on the inside.

I have mushrooms in my legs.

Oh, wow.

What's the biggest culture shock

when you're out here as a wolf?

Oh, thank you, you guys.

And thank you, the wolf.

For me, it's having to be not being with my cat.

Oh, well, you left your cat in Austria?

Yeah, I left your cat in the cat.

What's your cat's name?

Eddie?

Eddie is in Austria.

Oh, how old?

Oh, five.

Oh, okay.

Wow.

In cat years?

Inhuman.

Oh, inhuman.

And we used to go on so many adventures.

What is cat years?

Oh, yeah, what is cat years, Scott?

Isn't there some sort of formula?

They have nine lives, which means like if you divide, you know, an average cat lifespan by nine, those are.

What's an average cat lifespan?

And then you divide that by nine.

Yeah.

So you divide that by nine.

Every two years is a cat year, I think.

Every two years is a cat.

Yeah, so your cat is like two and a half cat years.

Oh, wow.

So cat's younger.

So he's younger.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's

amazing.

That's awesome.

Oh.

As your cat gets older, it gets younger?

Interesting.

That's great news because I love Eddie.

Oh, wow.

Why leave Eddie for so long and why stay here?

I mean,

I'm not pushing you to go back.

I just, who's taking care of Eddie?

What's happening with Eddie?

Yes.

Well, even though I am now friends with the ice guys,

we are at an impasse.

I can't travel internationally and want to return here.

Right.

So, Eddie having to wait.

But I love Eddie, and we go on so many adventures together.

You go.

Oh, he's like one of those weird outdoor cats.

Yeah, he rides my shoulder.

Oh, cool.

Like a bird?

Yeah.

Wow.

And again, who's taking care of Eddie or is anyone taking care of Eddie?

Oh, Eddie's tough.

Okay, Eddie's tough.

Wow.

This is not making me feel better about the whole thing.

So Eddie's on his own.

Yeah.

So I miss him terribly.

I wish he was.

So you have no idea what's up with Eddie.

Oh, he's a really tough guy.

Okay, you can't wait.

Now, when you say tough, you furrow everything.

You furrow everything.

You furrow.

It's a full body furrow.

Guys, I'm pretty sure Eddie's a fighter, okay?

Oh, I believe it.

Yeah, so he's being good, probably.

And I can't wait to see him again.

Oh, I bet Eddie's doing great, is Bob.

I bet he's doing great.

I bet he's like hanging out in the alley, playing fishbone marimbas.

Just hanging out.

Like out of a garbage can, like Heathcliff?

Like Top Cat?

Yeah.

Sure.

Once they go homeless, they get a hat.

Oh, yeah.

One where the top is kind of like torn off and it's not like a donkey.

No, it's a cat.

It's a street cat.

He's just got like a jaunty cap.

Yeah.

Are you saying you think maybe Eddie having fingerless claws?

Wow.

Could be.

Does Eddie have any like demonstrable skills?

Like, how is he, do you think?

Is he like busking?

Can he play an instrument?

Or what does he do?

Does he do tricks?

He's really calm.

Oh, like when I found him, start putting him on my shoulder.

He didn't fight it at all.

I don't know whether I would pay to see that, but.

That's cool as hell, though.

You would pay to see that?

No, I wouldn't.

A calm cat.

You're saying now you're paying to see that.

No, no, I'm saying I would not.

I'm sorry, a contraction stiff sold for you i would not pay to see that okay so you're paying so you would pay

you would pay to not see it okay no again but uh i i'm afraid i look i hate to say this peter but i think eddie if not dead already

eddie doesn't have long for this world without

take care of him i mean what's have you not heard that eddie's a fighter oh

so

they must have this is the wolf don't they have socialized garbage in in austria everything's free you probably get like socialized cat medicine i bet i bet is part of it.

Well, hopefully, someone's looking after Eddie.

We wish the best for Eddie.

I know what you're trying to do.

You don't want me anymore in the pool house, so you're trying to convince me to leave.

I just had a great idea.

Yeah.

Instead, why don't we

live with you?

That's possible, by the way.

But what I was going to pitch is, why don't we raise a little bit of money on the podcast and bring Eddie to America?

Like,

because I agree with you, Scott.

I think that Peter and Eddie need to be reunited, but I think it needs to be on American soil.

Some sort of GoFundMe where we have to pay for someone to locate Eddie for a while.

Go fund yourself.

That's a good idea.

This is the wolf.

Call in right now if you want to donate some money to keep Eddie going.

The fifth caller comes.

We're only taking the fifth caller.

Yep.

He's going to get a ticket to the six flags.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Fifth caller.

Fifth caller gets a ticket to six flags.

Six flags.

Save Eddie.

Yeah.

Look, California's great and all.

I just, I don't know why you, you know, you're only here for a little bit of time.

I, I, unless something's going on in your life where you need to stay here, or do you need to emigrate?

Or

do you think I could do it?

I believe in you, if that's what you're asking.

I would love to be here permanently.

Wow.

Well, it's a wonderful country.

This is Bob.

I'll marry you.

I'll marry you, but we have to.

I want to become an Austrian citizen and I want to be a prince.

Oh, wow.

Bob

or the wolf, I'd love to marry you.

you.

So you could stay here.

But I have to be honest, you guys.

I'm not royalty.

So I don't know about how you'd be prince.

What about those

puffy velvet jodspurs you're wearing?

What about those, Peter?

Yeah, what about those, Peter?

What about those?

And that

velvety crown thing on your head?

Yeah, Peter.

What about

those?

No, we're asking you that, Peter.

Oh,

whoa.

Oh, wait.

Okay.

So are you asking

you?

Who?

This is not like a Jedi mind trick kind of situation.

It's just a pure question.

The type of which we ask on the show all the time.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

This is Pop.

I bet you, I bet you, are you a prince and you just want to be a regular boy and that's why you don't want to go back?

Whoa.

You feel like a PNP situation.

Prince and Popper.

Who?

Prince and Popper.

Oh, yeah.

PNP.

That other

morning radio team.

PNP.

Prince and the Popper.

Yeah.

That was when Prince and John Popper teamed up, I think.

Yes.

I want to see that documentary.

Okay.

You know what?

Griffin.

I have to come clean.

I guess you got me.

I'm pretty much a prince.

Whoa.

Peter, you're a prince.

It all makes sense now.

You're a prince of a man, I'll say that.

Yeah.

I just wanted to have real college experience.

Wow.

And so I came here and sleeping in Scott's pool house.

It's not really a real college experience sleeping in my pool house.

It's not like a college experience.

It's like, you know, the room is trash.

You keep it really messy.

It's just a bunch of video games

and

old porno tapes.

And by the way, I lied about my cat, too.

What's going on with your cat, or do you even have one?

Well, it's actually a big tiger.

Because I'm a terrible teacher.

Because you're a royalty.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

Okay, I think your tiger, Eddie's fine then.

How cool.

And guess what?

His name's not Eddie What is it?

What these guys

His name's Klaus Klaus

Yeah, and he lives in the palace.

Oh wow whoa, wait a minute.

Is he like can he like do cuz is he like super fancy?

Can he talk?

Can he do like special stuff?

Just silly.

Okay, no, no, okay.

Well, but I he's tough.

Oh, of course.

I would

are frightening.

Remember how I said he's a fighter?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now it's

now that he's a tiger.

Now it's making sense.

Yeah.

That's cool.

If I was royalty, I'd do that, like tiger boxing, too.

I'd make him a fighter, get those animal bear baiting, all that stuff.

Yeah.

So you're telling me my clothes gave it all away, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, your sash as well that says prints on it.

Yep.

Your scepter.

So what, you think the guys at AE Pie, they know too, huh?

I think they probably do.

I mean, quite honestly, you've been here all summer.

This is what you've worn every single day.

Yeah.

Well, what

else am I supposed to wear?

Do you not change clothes in Austria?

Like any of the clothes that other people are wearing.

I've also noticed you swimming in this outfit, which seems

like it would immediately be so heavy.

You're struggling against the weight of the wet velvet.

I was at Venice Beach and I saw you come out of the water.

It was like a cartoon.

It was just like your big puffy jot spurs and water coming out, and of like a fish or something.

A bunch of fish, right?

That's right.

You guys, I had a lot of fish in my pockets.

So I'm a little confused now.

So not everybody's getting getting dressed by royal helpers every day.

Oh,

is that who all those people are?

Oh, you have servants.

We don't like to call them servants anymore or the master bedroom or I didn't even say those words.

You said that.

You have both brought those up and shamed us for using them?

That's right, guys.

Come on.

Let's keep it classy on comedy bang bang.

This is the wolf.

Give a call if your wife has ever just said, hey, you're going to a friend's house and she's like, that's what you're wearing?

You're like, hey, I thought it was just a barbecue.

She said, yeah, but you got to dress up.

And I'm like, it's a polo shirt.

And she's, I mean, thanks for that.

Yeah.

You're just calling that.

You need a little help with the dismount, Wolf.

You know what, though?

You know, he's brand new at this.

And I just want to say, like, he's doing great.

I want to encourage Bob.

You're doing great, Wolf.

Bob, Wolf, Wolf.

Say it to Bob.

He needs it.

But, Bob, you're doing great, Bob.

Thank you.

Yeah.

All right.

So you can't say master bedroom.

And, but you're always saying wife Peter.

You're wearing a lot of them.

Well, sure.

I mean, but who can change 55 years of

saying something one way, you know?

For me.

Oh, I thought you meant culturally.

Culturally.

Culturally, it's been probably less.

And when I suggested you change it to the modern wife eater, you said no thanks.

I've had wife pleaser.

Oh, really?

To describe the tank top?

Why can't we just do tank top?

How would that please a wife?

Okay, so you prefer wife eater then?

I say tank top.

Okay.

As far as I'm concerned, tank top.

I'm learning so much, much, you guys.

Well, your English is fantastic.

Or do you speak English in Austria?

I'm not quite sure.

We're all speaking English.

I have a question now, Peter.

Now that the curtain has been pulled aside and you are revealed to be a prince, do you, in fact, need any medical treatments here, or was that all a clever ruse?

It was real.

Wow.

Oh, no.

Do they...

Even for a prince, they don't have specific medical services there in Austria that we have here?

Want to do it.

but here you guys have amazing plastic surgeons.

Oh, wait, are you getting a BBL?

That's right.

Oh, Peter.

Well, look at the pants I'm wearing.

Oh, they're going to be in that shape.

Yeah.

You got to fill out those

blousy pants.

You're getting a side BBL.

Yes.

Got it.

Got it.

Oh, it's good to be seen and heard.

Oh, wow.

Oh, this is so exciting.

This is great for you.

It's so cool to watch you blossom into the person that you want to be.

Yeah.

It's all thanks to Scott.

I mean, look, I open up my home to you and to your 20 man servants.

And,

you know, I'm happy to do it.

It's wonderful to have you on the show.

Oh, thank you for having me.

Yeah, of course.

I mean, we do need to take a break.

Do you want to stick around?

Is that possible?

We have someone coming up from someone from America's Heartland.

I'd love to.

Have you ever been to America's Heartland?

I'm going now.

Oh, wow.

This is going to be great.

This is going to be great.

Well, Well, Wolf, do you want to take us into commercial?

Sure.

I just wanted to let people know when I've got my car lease, I went to Del Monte, Del Monte Honda, and they got an incredible deal, an amazing, I got the Tundra truck.

It's got four alpha tundra.

Okay, we're going to come right back.

We kind of want to see where this is going.

We're going to come right back with more Jason Manzukas, more Peter Strussel, more the wolf, and we have someone from America's Heartland.

We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this.

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Hello, everyone.

This is Scott Augerman of Comedy Bang Bang, and I want to tell you about a podcast that I think you're going to love.

It's called Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade.

Now, you know, I'm a big fan of both of these gentlemen.

Dana has been on Comedy Bang Bang.

They're the legendary Saturday Night Live stars.

And what they do is they take you behind the scenes at SNL and, of course, the larger entertainment world.

Every Thursday, the guys hang out with friends and comedy icons like Will Arnett, Nate Bargatzi, Amy Poehler, Jerry Seinfeld, so many more.

And on Mondays, join Dana and David as they riff on current events, pop culture, trending trending clips, and answer all of your audience questions.

Kick back, relax, enjoy the comedy, absurdity, and world-class banter from your favorite duo.

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Comedy Bang Bang, we're back.

Jason Manzuchas is here.

Comedy bang bang.

Comedy bang bang.

Comedy bang bang.

Comedy bang bang.

Are you Richard Nixon?

Oh, wait, was that Bane?

Comedy bang bang, Batman.

Jason Manzukas, of course, who played Bane in the Batman trilogy is here.

And we also have Peter Strussel, who is a prince from Austria, here to get a side BBL.

And also, we have the wolf here, our co-host, of course, for now in the foreseeable future.

What's going on, Wolf?

AKA Bob Duca.

Yeah, what's happening, Wolf?

Oh, there's the Wolf.

This is my wife texting me.

She's like, yeah, she's like, are you going to bring home the ribs?

And I said, I thought

I'm going to cook my brisket tonight.

I just got this big green egg.

And I'm like, hey, I'm smoking tonight.

And she's like, but I thought the neighbors are coming over.

You ever have this thing?

Give a call.

If you give the thing your wife's like, hey, the neighbors are coming over.

And you're like, I just want to hang out with my friends.

So wait, let me see what your exact problem is.

So you got a big green egg.

She wanted ribs, but you want brisket.

I want to smoke that brisket.

Okay, you want your friends over and she wants the neighbors?

Yeah.

It doesn't seem like just everyone can come over.

This guy's not married.

Give a call if you just

if you think that you know, it's hard.

And I think I think the audience is right now starting to understand like marriage and human relationships so much more than when you normally talk about it, Scott.

Yeah.

Because the wolf is really

full of life advice.

You know?

He's relatable in a way that I'm not.

Because he wants to be smoking.

Bob.

Much like the mask.

You have a big green egg.

I have bad news.

That's not good, you guys.

What's wrong with the big green egg?

That's a fairy egg.

Oh, wow.

Is it a dragon?

It could be, Bob.

Your wife's going to be really mad.

Bob,

I mean, Wolf, that chased me around in the frying pan again.

Bob's not married, by the way.

He did offer to marry you, Peter.

That's right.

But the wolf apparently is.

These worlds are colliding.

He does have a ton of marriage specifics, though, which is...

He's marriage specific.

And they're right there.

They're right at the surface level.

Well, that's the wolf.

Yeah, that's true.

How long has the wolf been married?

The wolf's been married 23 years to his high school sweetheart.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

It's a happy relationship?

I can't quite tell.

No, it doesn't seem to be.

No, no.

What's her name?

Glare.

Glare?

Glare, like what you do when you're upset with someone?

Like Clare with a G.

Yeah.

She's Irish.

She's happy Glare.

Okay, that explains it.

Oh, wow.

And just out of pure curiosity, Bob, did you ever know someone named Glare?

Yes.

Maybe 23 years ago?

Is this a sliding doors situation?

Who is this person, Glare?

I think the wolf might be living Bob's life.

Oh, my gosh.

You mean in a separate dimension or something like that?

Well, no,

she was real.

And I

think I could have chosen her, but I didn't.

But the wolf is from a...

She was my elderly piano teacher.

Okay.

We were in love.

She was teaching you elderly piano?

Oh, no.

So

what is that where you you have arthritic fingers?

All public domain.

It's just green sleeves.

Campdown races.

We're at Campdown Races.

Ragtang boogie.

Yeah.

The entertainer.

Yep.

Oh, yes.

Maple leaf rag.

Well, good luck.

I mean, hopefully.

Shoot a dog at the crossroads.

Sure.

All those old classics.

Yeah.

Hopefully you and Glare will.

So, I mean, like, if Bob and Glare had worked out, he thinks that his life would be.

I don't regret a thing thing because that brought you into my life.

I mean, you were married to my mother before and divorced from my mother before Glare ever came into the picture.

No, no, this was 23 years ago.

You were during the 90s.

That's right.

Yeah.

I know we're in a sliding time scale here on Comedy Bang Bang, where I've had high school interns who have been in high school for the past 17 years.

But we've all turned 50, so we all have been exposed to Dred Zeppelin.

Yes, of course.

Everyone here has seen the Dred Zeppelin documentary.

Have we?

I have.

I don't know if anybody else has.

Okay, I'm not sure Peter has.

Peter certainly is too young to have seen the Dred Zeppelin documentary that's available for free on YouTube.

Why don't we ask a song of hope?

Why don't we ask our next guest about this?

Because I'm pretty sure he might be over 50.

He is from America's heartland.

And it's always an exceptional time here on Comedy Bang Bang when we speak to someone who is from the flyover states, as we call it.

Please welcome to the show for the first time, Queasy Jeans.

Hey, y'all!

Hi, Queasy.

Hey, y'all.

Hey, Queasy!

Nice to have me.

Oh, it's great to be able to do a pleasure.

This is Jason.

Hey, I'm Peter.

Hi, Jason.

Nice to meet you.

Hi, Peter.

Welcome to America.

I hope that you feel comfortable here.

Thank you, Queasy.

And this is the wolf over here.

Oh, wolf.

Sometimes I'm Bob, but right now I'm the wolf.

No, I'm Bob.

No, no, no, I'm the wolf.

Okay.

You're leaking out of your side.

Oh.

That's a vanity colostomy bag.

Jay.

How does it fill up?

Huh?

How does it fill up?

They're stations.

Okay.

Well, Queasy, tell us about yourself.

It's so wonderful to meet you.

Is that a family name, Queasy?

Queasy.

Well, yeah, it's short for Quesadella.

Quesadella.

Yeah.

Which is Quesadilla.

Well, in America, we call them Quesadella.

My dad was a big fan of the Quesadela.

Got it.

And so named me Quesadela, and I go by Queasy.

Queasy Jeans.

Hi, Queasy.

So wonderful to meet you.

Tell us about yourself.

Where are you from?

You say you're from America's Heartland?

I'm from America's Heartland, right in the middle of it.

Right in the middle of it.

Like the dead center.

Right by America's aorta.

Dead center.

You can't go north, south, east, west without being right where I am.

There's Bruce Springsteen, the president, there.

Well, I just love, I love him.

He's so nice.

Sometimes he talks a little too much about politics, but I like him otherwise.

He looks good in jeans.

A lot of people that age don't look good in jeans.

Yeah.

Sometimes when I go see his concerts, I wish I had a fast forward button to just get to the next song.

You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Or closed captioning.

Yeah, yeah.

I would love to see closed captioning be present at concerts.

Also, I'd love pause so I could go take a leak.

I don't know how he does so much running.

He always wears boots.

I'm like, how are you running so much in boots?

Yeah.

I bet he has like, he's got a, he's a short king, is he not?

Oh, yeah.

I think he's like four nights.

Oh, he's a little guy.

He's like 4'9.

Yeah.

Yep.

He no taller than a corn husk.

Yep.

Sometimes Clarence Clemens would pack him in the saxophone face

so that Bruce could make entrances and exits easier and probably.

It's like what Taylor Swift would do in that case.

With the broom closet.

I heard he sleeps in Little Stephen Van Zant's headband at night.

It's like a little mouse in a nutshell.

And I heard

he wanted to call Little Steven Little Steven to draw attention away from how little Bruce was.

Little Steven's huge.

Little Steven is a giant.

I heard

what you guys were saying.

Oh, there's Peter.

Peter, what are four or five E-Street bands specific to you?

And none of them can be about Nils Lofgren.

I love my friends.

Make a Gary Talent reference, please.

I'm hearing all of it.

So queasy, queasy, queasy, tell us about yourself.

Well, you know, I just, I think everyone right now has become like an expert and they're listening to experts so much.

Oh, my God.

Why is everyone listening to experts so much?

Like, what made experts experts?

And I just,

I just want people to go back to folksy wisdom.

Oh, okay.

Are you sort of in

an expert in folksy wisdom?

Well, I'm not an expert.

I don't pretend to be.

So, why should we listen to you?

Well, I just have an opinion about folksy, but I think folksy wisdom,

I guess I have an opinionated person.

If you ask my family, if it's not an expert opinion, what?

My opinion?

I guess, but I don't like to say it because I'm modest under the eyes of God and I don't want to be like beef thinking I'm more expert than Jesus.

There you go.

So I believe in like that there's so much to learn from everyday things.

Okay, so like what type of folks see wisdom?

Give us an example.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe.

I don't know if I want to hear this.

You don't?

Wait, is this Bob?

Bob or the wolf?

This is Bob.

Well, maybe you're afraid.

Get the wolf in here.

Thank you.

Hey, let's hear what somebody needs to say.

Dynamite.

You know, I think it's good.

I don't think I've ever heard Bob use the word dynamite.

It's incredible.

Different.

No, it's whoa.

That's what I mean.

Oh.

Back to one.

Let's hear some of these.

Well, there are some things that are just in natural life that you see, and you're like, oh, that's just real.

And I could learn from it.

No, we know what you're talking about.

Can you give us an example?

Yeah.

Or do we have to ask another fucking time?

Oh, wow.

I didn't know we spoke French in here.

You didn't have to be such a city slicker.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Maybe you're just a foreign exchange student speaking French like like that sorry it's c-block and i'm losing my fucking patience with you guys oh geez what's your thing get to this folksy wisdom if i wow wow

well i'll give you an example okay please

just because A corn cop can fit in your butt

doesn't mean it belongs there.

Oh, interesting.

So that is folksy wisdom.

That's folksy wisdom.

Huh.

So that just means like just because something.

No, we know what it is.

So that is

the example.

That's a that's an example for you.

The one that really synthesizes the idea

just because a cork cop fits.

Listen,

it's a frit.

No,

I didn't say whole.

I'm not holographic.

I'm so sorry, Queasy.

So, Queasy, are you trying to say in a larger, more macro sense, are you trying to say just because something is easy to do doesn't mean exactly it might not be the right choice?

No.

Putting a corn cop for

is not easy to do, but it does fit.

It digs up just

because it fits doesn't mean it belongs.

Are you talking really just specifically about a corn?

No, there's also other things that go up someone's butt?

Well, not necessarily.

Just because an ice cream scoop

could fit up your butt

doesn't mean it belongs to you.

What, an ice cream scoop?

The scoop?

Yeah.

The scoop end of it?

The handle, I would assume, but the scooper?

Scooper.

That fits.

You got to work it.

You got to do it.

Is it one of these?

Is it one of these?

You could do both.

Oh, this would be dang.

I don't want the trigger up there.

Maybe a mini scoop.

Maybe a mini scoop.

You can do all ten scoops.

Or a sample spoon.

Sample spoons?

You can fit 10.

But

just because you can fit 10 sample spoons in your butt.

Doesn't mean that it belongs.

Well, yeah.

Peter, is there corn in Austria?

Because I always think of it as American, an American vegetable that the Native Americans grew.

But do you have corn in Austria?

what's corn uh-huh

uh imagine uh a golf ball but a miniature golf ball that's painted yellow okay

tiny tiny what what oh scott can only think in round shapes what are you talking about now

a tiny imagine okay imagine a disease okay i think i know what corn is now

a little disease tooth imagine a disease tooth but instead of it being in your mouth to to bite into things you bite into it and you swallow how come you don't call colonels teeth?

How come you don't call them the corn teeth?

Yeah, like Teet Sanders.

Yeah.

How come they don't call him Teeth Sanders?

Teeth Sanders.

How come it's not...

That's a good.

It's a good question.

It's private,

captain, lieutenant.

Teeth.

Does this make sense to you, Queasy Jeans?

Yeah, I mean, well, we're just talking simply, which is something I appreciate.

Yeah.

So just because you may know a word doesn't mean you have to say it uh is that a one of the sayings right there no i was just sort of saying that generally so you you like you prefer to use simple plain language simple plain language what do you do for a living queasy

well i just i sit on the porch got it and i if anyone passes by my yard i yell at them great someone pays you for this uh well no i'm i live on i have a fixed income okay fixed by whom fixed by my brother

my brother your brother supported wait when was it fixed?

Well, when he died, he got run over by a tractor.

Oh, so that was, so it was broken, and then it got the income got broken.

At that point, your income was spayed or neutered?

Well, yeah, it became fixed.

So I didn't have to do anything.

Okay, so you inherited your wealth.

Well,

what I did was I became

a signatory on his life insurance, so I got his money.

And I'm assuming because you got the money and the funds were released, there was no foul play suspected in that.

How could there be?

Oh, I don't know.

How could there be?

I don't know.

I'm asking you.

How could there be?

I'm asking you.

No one could figure it out.

Nobody could figure it out.

Just because a rocking chair is on the porch doesn't mean that anyone's sitting on it.

Queasy, I guess my question is, when you say a porch, you sit on your porch.

I imagine just a simple shack or something like that.

But you inherited your brother's wealth.

Like, what kind of property are we talking about?

We're talking about like a, you know 172 acre farm oh what and wraparound porch so i can sit all around the i could yell from every okay side of my and nobody will hear like you're that private well be yeah it's pretty far but if so

is your house in the middle of a roundabout oh no you can yell at people all the time oh i would love that just so i can yell more people but wait you so it's not you would love that but it's not because if you could put a roundabout there you could just yell the lyrics of the yes song roundabout.

Oh, if you know them, I don't know that.

I don't even know those words, what that means.

Well, I mean, uh, some of them are probably something to the effect of, I'll be the roundabout, the words will make you out and out.

I spend the day your way, call it morning, driving through the sound and in and out the valley.

The music dance and sing, they make the children really ring.

I spend your day your way, call it morning, driving through the sound and in and out of the valley.

I don't know, I think that's a little complicated.

I probably probably do.

I think you do.

I guess what I like is I like it.

Just because a light is red

doesn't mean you have to stop.

It does, in fact.

I mean, no, if you go by the letters, well, but it doesn't mean you have to.

You do.

Listen, just because the light is red

doesn't mean you have to stop.

Queezy, what I am sensing from you is you're just like some rich guy who pays for tickets.

Hold on a second.

Who doesn't give a shit if you get a ticket going through a red light?

Who said I'm a guy?

Oh,

queasy.

I'm sorry.

I just wear my hair short.

Oh, whoa.

Okay.

That's really short, by the way.

This is like the

rum.

You got cuts on your head.

You're queasy.

I'm going to let it start.

I mean, you may want to rewind your microphone and just...

Okay, I beg your pardon, Queasy.

You're a.

How should we refer to you?

As a woman.

Okay, cool.

I didn't know.

This is us.

This is information I need before I introduce someone.

Quesadilla trying to be better, Quasida.

Quesadilla is a female name.

Oh, boy.

I don't know if that's the case.

A?

A?

So, okay, so

are certain foods gendered?

The words are.

The food can be.

A quesadilla is...

folded.

And technically, because it ends in an A, I think it's gendered as female in the Spanish language.

Oh, I see.

I see.

But you were saying about it being folded to them because folded.

Yeah, I guess I missed that.

Yeah, it's folded folded so you can get into it.

Okay, so it's not about the

Hesadea is like a pussy.

Yeah, I don't use words like that, but it is like a vagina.

Which ends in A, which ends in A, which means it's for women.

Okay.

Have you guys heard about this quinoa stuff?

My wife got me on this quinoa stuff, and it's some sort of

grain with

a food.

It's an each terrible grain.

I'm a steak guy.

Oh, okay.

Is this set up for a joke?

Uh-huh.

What was that, Bob?

That was the Bob.

I wasn't trying to puncture that Bob.

It just.

What do you call?

What do you call

a rancher with a tractor on his head?

Oh, what?

Dead.

Oh.

Oh, that sounds familiar.

This is the wolf.

If you like that joke, give us a call in right now.

The wolf, do you have any personal appearances coming up?

I do.

I'm going to be at the sunglass kiosk

at the

Arcadia Mall coming up this Saturday.

Just hanging out.

Nothing special.

Did the Sunglass Kiosk actually invite you there?

I'm just trying to get some free wraparound shades.

Okay.

So you got to talk to Walton Goggins with his Goggins goggles.

You got to talk to him.

Wolf, you got to talk to him.

Wait, Wolf, I'm so sorry, but I need to talk to Bob Duca for a second.

Bob Duca, are you aware of the fact that Walton Goggins has something called Goggins goggles?

Goggins Goggins?

Walton Goggins Goggins goggles.

Walton Goggins joke.

Oh, no.

That's incredible.

That seemed like information you might need to hear.

Wow.

Bob, I don't know.

He must be really sure he's going to keep working, right?

If he's cashing in like this.

What were you saying, Peter?

Oh, just Bob.

I didn't want to alarm you.

You said a curse word in Austrian right now.

Oh, no, no.

Is this going to affect the egg?

When you said Walton,

Goggin, Goggle.

Goggin goggle.

Yes.

Oh, no, that's a curse word.

That's how a deaf leopard song starts.

Walton Wolchengargengargengargus.

But for real, though, we're going to need you to apologize to the people of Austria for the word you just said.

Okay.

Just because it was really, it's apparently a really bad one.

This is what happens.

You start apologizing to Austria, then you apologize.

Well, he is against apologies.

This is interesting.

I just feel like we're apologizing a bit too much.

So, Queezi, you're just, you're like a rich Karen who just likes to tell everybody what they should be doing.

No, I don't.

I just don't think that we should just be going to to be the world's apologist all the time and be like, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I said, you know.

Have you ever apologized to anyone in your life?

I've never done anything wrong.

What wrong have I done?

It sounds like you murdered your brother.

Yes, it does sound like

he died to inherit his 150-acre ranch.

172-acre.

Just because he died doesn't, and I don't have.

Is this another one of the things?

Just because a lot of them start with just because.

Yeah.

Well, just because he died and I don't have an aliba doesn't mean and you fit a corn cob up your butt.

I have one.

I had to do it just to make sure that that maxim was real.

Well, my question again is: what varietal of corn are you using?

There are many different corn sizes of ears.

Yes.

We use

from baby corn all the way up to, you know,

quite big.

Yes, grandpa corn.

And the new metal band.

Yeah.

Grandpa corn.

With the backwards K?

We use Emperor corn.

Okay.

Emperor corn.

And it's because it's got a little purple in it, and it's the largest.

Well, the thing is, is like, you know, you eat corn with your mouth, and it ends up coming out that way.

Why not, you know, do the reverse?

Maybe you'll start spitting out corn.

Well, I think you're all missing the point about it.

It's not about...

the corn cob going in your butt.

It's just saying the maxim, the idea, the colloquialism

is that just because you can put a corn cub up your butt doesn't mean that it belongs there.

It's easy.

Sure.

It doesn't belong there, but sometimes I feel like if it is up there, it feels so good, you might think it does belong there.

But that is where

that to your butt.

Yeah.

If it feels good, your butt's going to be like, this thing belongs here.

Queasy, tell it to your butt.

Yeah.

Right now.

I don't talk to my butt.

I don't talk to anything

below the belly button

because that's

that's so what do you talk to above the belly button?

Yeah.

What I I talk to my left breast a lot.

What are the kind of conversations you have?

Yeah, what do you think?

Not all hot.

What do you call those?

If downstairs is a quesadilla, what's this?

We talk a lot about why is

blue bloods set in New York?

Oh, of course.

Where would you prefer blue bloods to be set?

Where I live, in the center of the country.

Why do I need to hear about everything set in New York?

Well, it seems there's a lot more crime there.

Yeah, the big cities have quite a bit more crime.

Varieties of crime.

Well, we have plenty of crime where I live.

Yeah, it sounds like your brother was murdered.

Well, he just died by a tractor rolling over him.

Who was driving the tractor, if you don't mind me asking?

You know what?

I wasn't there, so I don't know.

You weren't there.

I was not.

So, how do you know that's how it happened?

Because they found him underneath the tractor.

Okay, and where were you?

I don't, you know what?

That's the funny thing.

No one knows.

That is very funny.

It's very weird.

It's very funny.

It's humorous.

I don't have an alibi, and I don't.

It's funny because it's true.

There's no, yeah, and I was on the porch, as far as I know.

Oh, so you were on the porch.

As far as I know, I was

you said nobody knows, and then you said, as far as you know, you're on the porch.

Well, nobody knows who ran him over, or if he was run over, if he ran over himself, or if the tractor.

You think it was one of these situations where he jumped out of the tractor, lied down in front of it.

Well, he used to wear those,

what are they called?

The AirPods.

Sure, sure.

And

sometimes if you play music too loud on an AirPod, it shoots out of your head head because the

sound like what a bat sonar does, and the sound bounces off the wall of the ear.

Okay.

And he may have been like looking to his right and listening to music, and then it shot out, and they was like, oh, my AirPod, and ran out in front of the tractor before it ran over the tractor.

Okay, because he did it.

It's sort of a Jeremy Renner situation.

Classic Renner.

He got run over by an ice cream truck or something, and nobody's talking about that.

I don't think he was in the city.

It was the snowplow truck that he himself was driving.

So, you are correct.

Yeah, he ran over himself.

So, why isn't no one saying that?

What do you think your brother was listening to that was so important?

Well, I just want to say this: I had nothing to do with Club Random.

That's what I was thinking.

Well, he's a that's the podcast to listen to if you want to get run over by your own tractor.

Yeah, oh, yeah, that or night cave,

two great podcasts, they go great together.

You got your night cave and my club random.

He doesn't, you know, no one's ever said, Why did you try to kill Jeremy Renner?

To Jeremy?

I wasn't there either.

Oh, oh, to you.

To you.

Jason, now I'm thinking that

for sure.

She tried to kill Jeremy Renner.

Did you poison Jamie Foxx?

Because nobody, they keep hinting that something happened and they won't tell us.

He won't tell us what it was, but I don't know who that is.

Wait, you know very specific details about Jeremy Renner getting run over by a snowboard?

And you don't know who Jamie Foxx is?

Well,

was Jamie Foxx run over by a heavy piece of mobile machine?

You only know about celebrities that have been run over by.

Well, that's what's interesting.

I don't care about celebrities, these experts, these coastal elites who believe that they know all of the words in the English language.

So I like, if they got run over by a tractor or ice cream truck or whatever it was that ran over Jeremy Renner, then I know about that.

It seems to me, if I could speculate, you saw this in the news, that Jeremy Renner got run over by his own snowplow, and then a a devious plan hatched in your mind to do this to your own brother, which then you did it.

You got all the money, you got his 172-acre.

Why is everyone talking about that?

It was just his farm.

It wasn't.

Well, it was, but why is everyone just assuming that?

I could have inherited it from my parents.

Peter, is it true that Jeremy Renner shot Hansel and Gretter Rich Hunter in Austria?

Yeah.

We're all mourning it still.

Oh, you you mean Shota movie?

Oh, yeah.

Right.

But he also killed Witch Hunter.

Oh, wow.

I can't believe you guys still have Witch Hunters.

Yeah.

Well, for as long as we have witches, we're going to need the hunters, you guys.

Are there Van Helsings there, too?

One.

One.

Yeah.

I think Eddie is there.

Yeah.

Alex might be.

We have Eddie and Alex Van Helsing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And maybe Wolfie now, I guess.

Probably.

Look, Queasy Jeans,

it seems to me like you're a murderer.

And

I'm not saying that disqualifies you from being on the show.

We've had people of all stars and stripes.

Stars and stripes.

Yeah.

Well, just because there's an old saying where I come from.

Oh.

Just because there's an old saying?

What?

You said just because there's an old saying where I come from.

Oh, the expert.

Just because your brother was.

I think he's a pert.

What's saying?

He's still a pert.

Yeah.

He's a pert.

I haven't stopped being being it, so I'm not an expert.

Oh.

We don't mean to throw you off.

There's so much

funniest joke in the world, right?

You have like Will Shorts or something with all your wordplay.

Oh, the puzzle.

You know about the puzzle master Will Shorts.

Never would I.

Never would I subscribe to that rag.

How do you play the puzzle?

You just hear him as the puzzle master on weekend, all things considered?

He was run over by a Zamboni at a New York Islanders game.

I didn't get this.

Oh, this is late-breaking news.

Well, it didn't happen.

It happened like in 87 or something.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Yeah.

So you know about it because of your fascination with people being run over by large machines.

It's not my fascination.

It's just the news I get.

Sure.

Is there a magazine that you subscribe to that only gives you this news?

Mortal Heavy Machinery.

Mortal Heavy Machinery?

Mortal Heavy Machinery.

Okay, yeah.

Is that a

monthly periodic?

MHM, it comes up.

It's monthly.

You know, sometimes it's a little thinner.

And it's a lot, sometimes a lot of ads because there's not a lot goes on.

Not a lot goes on.

Mortal Heavy Machinery is very many games at Taven Busters.

Oh, yeah.

It's also a fantastic Lou Reed album.

Wow.

Well, Queasy Jeans,

we are running out of time on the show.

There's really only time for one final feature, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs.

Plugs are plugging in the dead of plugs.

Take these broken plugs and learn to plug

all your plugs.

Just another douchebag who learned how to play Blackbird.

Scott, is that you singing?

I don't believe so.

That was Plugbird by Balls McCartney.

Thank you so much for the language.

Balls McCartney.

Balls McCartney.

If you have a plugs theme, head over to cbbworld.com/slash plugs and you can find everything you need there to upload your own song or remix one of ours and uh what are we plugging jay hey what do we got so um you said this comes out uh next week yeah so i will plug listen it's old news now but taskmaster season 19 is all available on youtube youtube season 20 has already started and it's also terrific you know what i was i was not looking forward to seeing a different cast because i loved your cast so much uh and i you know i've watched uh several seasons but yours was so special i was like well let's check this out and it was the first episode was was so funny.

It's so funny.

Great.

It's great.

And I will also shout out how did this get made?

And Dinosaur Improv, two groups that I'm a part of, are going on tour.

Tickets are available at

hdtgm.com.com.

Probably.

When you say you're going on tour, how many shows?

Three?

Four?

Four or five.

This is my tour.

This is you're doing four or five.

We're doing a handful of dates.

I mean, you can quibble with the wordage, but you know what I'm saying.

I do know.

We're coming to Boston, New York, Philly, D.C.

Please come to Boston, please, of course.

Um, so check that out.

Oh, and and of course, Gabby's Dollhouse.

Yes, I got that.

I gotta shout out Gabby.

There is nothing more important on my daughter's mind than going to see the Gabby's Dollhouse movie.

This comes out this Friday, isn't it?

Yes, sir.

Okay, and Kristen Wigg is in this and yourself.

What character do you play?

I play Chumsley.

Chumsley?

Don't worry.

He's a does Chumsley know Queasley?

Queasy.

Oh, Queasy.

Sorry.

Jeez.

You know, but experts.

It seems all these experts don't know so much.

Queasy, do you have any plugs?

So to make it up to you, we'll give you some plugs here.

Yeah.

There's a Magnum rerun tonight on Me TV.

So you have all the streaming services.

You're just like a rich person.

Is it the two-parter where they're having the auction at Robin's Estate and one of the items goes missing?

No spoilers.

Okay.

Sassafras.

And then

what else else is happening?

Oh,

the police are coming by again on Friday to ask me some more questions.

Did this happen recently?

It happened about six months ago.

Oh, so very recently.

Yeah, relatively.

How soon did you move into the farmhouse?

Well, I mean, six months ago.

Pretty much that day.

The day it happened?

Well, I didn't want the pipes to freeze.

Who found your brother's body?

Oh, it was terrible.

Yeah, but who?

who?

Oh, I think like the crows.

You think the crows.

No, but what human found him?

Well, I think eventually the police found him.

Eventually.

Eventually.

Did you notice that the crows were very active in that part of the farm?

Well, I didn't.

That farm is so big.

I was on the porch.

And when I was, because

I was like, where is he?

And then I didn't know.

And then I don't like to go.

It was getting sundown.

And I don't like to go out into the, because you can turn an ankle.

Sure.

So I didn't go.

And so then the police were like,

hey, where's your brother?

Why did they care?

Well, because someone found,

they were like,

someone found what?

They found your dead brother and then they said, where's your brother?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it all.

So this story is just not.

Well, you know what?

This is what I'm saying about experts.

Oh, they asked so many questions to get so many answers.

When the answer's right there.

Actually, the answer was not there.

We did not really get to an answer.

Your lack of specificity is damning.

It seems like you're making all this up as you go along.

Just because

it also seems like you're making up these maxims as you go along.

Just because the window is open doesn't mean you have to jump through it.

Okay.

Okay.

That's not a bad one.

Actually, actually, kind of works.

Yeah.

There you go.

Well, all right, Queasy.

Let's turn to Peter Strussel.

Peter, what do you want to plug?

In, I'm seeing plugs.

Yes.

Yes.

electrical plugs, yes.

But I guess what do you have any projects coming up or any things you're listening to that you want to talk about?

Oh,

you know what?

There's the final season of Solar Opposites coming to Hulu on premiering October 13th.

Wow.

Very cool.

Great animated comedy on Hulu.

And I believe, if I'm not mistaken, it's going to be coming to Netflix at some point.

I'm hearing that too as well.

Wow.

So if you're from your sources.

Yeah, you guys.

Okay, that's fantastic.

And then The Wolf and or Bob Duca, what would you like to do?

This is The Wolf.

I'm going to be throwing out the first pitch at the Havana Bananas game coming up.

This is a guy.

He's a really funny group taking a lot of fun with baseball.

I'm also going to be a guest on a comedy bang bang podcast called College Towns.

Really terrific.

Oh, you're going to be a guest on it?

Uh-huh.

Okay, that'll be an incredible episode.

That is going to be a great episode.

I can't wait to tune into that episode.

Yeah, this is Bob.

I'm going to Dave and Buster's.

Oh, again, I've got to try to eat the right side of the menu.

Oh, that was just the left side?

You shouldn't do that.

I have to.

Okay, well, check back in with us when you're here.

Just remember, you came out with quite a few maladies after the last episode.

I did.

So many.

And I'll also be marrying Peter.

Oh, that's amazing, you guys.

And we'll become a prince, I believe.

That's right.

Wow.

Royalty.

That's right.

Congratulations.

Well, I want to play.

Are you jealous?

Scott?

I'm not really jealous.

What, of Bob or of Peter over here?

Well, that Bob's attention will now be elsewhere.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I do have a quick favor, though, Scott.

Okay, sure.

This is actually for Peter and I.

Will you sit on our fairy egg for a while?

Glad you said airy egg.

Fairy egg.

When you said, can you sit on my,

I was worried.

Sure, yeah, I'll.

You can't afford these mustache rides.

I'm a prince now.

That's the t-shirt.

Sure, I'll do whatever you need.

Look, I want to plug, head over to cbbworld.com.

We have some great stuff coming up in October.

A couple of really cool things happening.

And other good shows like Scott Asn's Seen, where I watch movies with Sprague the Whisperer and ad-free episodes of this show.

Every single live episode we've ever done.

The entire back catalog is here, plus shows like College Town, Neighborhood Listen is coming back this month.

I'll shout out Hey Randy.

And I believe, Peter, is it possible you were an intern who took an improv class from Will Heinz at some point on the Heinz I'm Prov to Meet You podcast?

That's right, you guys.

Oh, that's right.

I heard that episode.

That was you.

A very funny episode of that podcast, which is very easy to find by its name.

Yes, Heinz, I'm Prov to Meet You, of course.

It just rolls off the tongue.

All of that more is over there at cbbworld.com.

All right, let's close up the old putt bag.

Open up the plug

back,

2025.

I'm talking open

up the plug back.

then you are alive

Open it up to make your dreams come true

And open it up to that you'll tell me truth You got to open up and see all the thus Because it's not time to close it up just yet

I said it's not time to close it up just yet

All right, that was oh could it go on longer?

Do you think it could slowly go on longer?

That one was only 38 seconds, Jason.

That's actually shorter than one second.

It's a plodding tempo.

Okay, well, it was Plugged the Magic Bag On by Lot HaHa.

So thank you so much to Lot Ha Ha.

And I want to thank all of you, Jason.

Always a pleasure to have you back.

Thank you, Scotty.

What an absolute delight.

Wonderful to have you here.

And look, Peter Strussel.

Congratulations, and I hope the 21 of you can stay in the country for as long as you like.

Thank you, Scott.

And Queasy Jeans.

Hi.

Queasy Jeans, I don't know how I feel about you.

I feel like everything you've said has been a lie.

That's just because

someone says a lie doesn't mean it's not true.

Oh, wow.

No,

okay.

All right, sure.

That's interesting.

And then, of course.

I never thought of it that way.

Bob or the wolf.

Who am I talking to right now?

Let's go get a beer after this.

What do you think, Pat?

Oh, wow.

This is Bob.

I mean, honestly.

Oh, this is Bob.

I was going to say the wolf.

I could have a wolf.

You could get a drink with the wolf.

Hang out with Bob.

Oh, gosh.

I don't know.

I'd rather do the opposite of it.

Like, travel there with Bob, get, you know, order the drink, and then suddenly the wolf appears.

Well, this is a wolf.

Anytime, if you just, I'll just speak for Bob.

Okay.

He just wants to hang out.

Okay, well, I like you better.

Maybe you give a piggyback to Bob.

Give a piggy front to Bob.

Oh.

What's a piggy front where I carry?

I embrace him from the bottom of the box.

This is Bob.

I'll show you.

Okay.

Well,

I don't have time for this.

We're going to be back next week.

We'll see you then.

Thanks.

Bye.

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