Bone-In Salami Sliders (Jason Mantzoukas, Seth Morris, May Darmon, Owen Burke)

Transcript

Speaker 2 Is there anything better than seeing your favorite neighborhood businesses grow?

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Speaker 1 Block Inc. is not a bank.

Speaker 12 Banking services provided by Square Financial Services Inc.

Speaker 13 and Sutton Bank, members FTIC. Loans are subject to credit approval.

Speaker 14 Mr. Monopoly here.
Monopoly is back at McDonald's. Register in the McDonald's app so you're ready to get your bag.

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Speaker 14 No purchase necessary. See rules of blademcd.com for full details and AMOE.platemcd.com to play without purchase.
Ends November 23rd but bonus plays November 2nd.

Speaker 14 Monopoly is a registered trademark of Hasbro. Copyright McDonald's.

Speaker 14 We know who's on first and what's on second, but my wife and I saw you from across the bar and would love for you to be our third. Oh, welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.
Thank you. Polly, baby.

Speaker 14 Thank you to Quinn the Basin Bennett for that catchphrase submission. Love your nickname, the Basin Street.
The Basin. Yeah, what do you think that's about?

Speaker 14 Wow, I wonder if it's like the Basin Street Blues or some sort of repository. An actual basin.

Speaker 14 What? To wash it, to pee into? Okay. I was going to say to like wash your clothes in or something.
I was thinking like a bedpan kind of situation. Okay, then why not like the bedpan? Yeah.

Speaker 14 What's the person's name? Quinn the Bedpan Bennett. Quinn the Bedpan Bennett.
Your nickname is officially changed. Change all of your logins.
Change your passwords.

Speaker 14 Change your social security number probably if that's possible. Yes, because I'm sure they had already changed it to the basin.
Can you change your social security number to a word? Yeah, to a word.

Speaker 14 Yep.

Speaker 14 Can you get any symbols in there?

Speaker 14 Oh, yeah, yeah. You have to now include a couple of symbols.

Speaker 14 And uppercase and lowercase. Yeah, maybe a heart emoji, you know? Definitely.
Definitely.

Speaker 14 You can choose from like six different emojis. Can you do the panting emoji? It's heart.
It's dancing lady in red dress. It's eggplant.
It is 100. Yellow thumb up.
Yellow thumb up and the Greek flag.

Speaker 14 Oh, wow. Oh, the Greek flag.
Which is great for me. Yeah, fantastic.
Hey, welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. My name is Scott Ackerman.
I'm the host of Comedy Bang Bang.

Speaker 14 Coming up a little later on the show. So far, you're the host.
Up until this. That may change.
Here we are, 2025. You remain the host.
For the past 16 plus years, I've been. Could there be a coup?

Speaker 14 Sure.

Speaker 14 A bloodless coup, I hope.

Speaker 14 Who knows?

Speaker 14 You never know. They never say whether it was bloodful or bloodless.

Speaker 14 A bloodful. A bloodful coup.
There was a bloodful coup.

Speaker 14 Hopefully that won't be you, though.

Speaker 14 No, no, no. I would do it peacefully.
Yeah.

Speaker 14 I hope I would say something like Etu, Jason, or something. No, that would be so cool, classic.
I would love that. You know, the immortal bard.
Oh, speak the word

Speaker 14 as he comes trippingly off the tongue, et cetera, et cetera.

Speaker 14 And he invented, et cetera, et cetera, right he did yeah he was the first known recorded person i can't remember if they had recordings then that we don't have he was first known et he was the first known et yeah he went to name it tonight

Speaker 14 mary heart's legs yeah remember those she got him insured for a million dollars i think they were fake you think the legs were fake i think they were you think she's an oscar petrorius what's his name petrorius i think they were an oscar petrorius um Petronas?

Speaker 14 I think, yes, Expecto Petronum. I think they were an Oscar Petronas.

Speaker 14 What if Harry Potter was there and just suddenly he was like, I got to imagine my Petronas? Yes, he is.

Speaker 14 And then this guy with his fake legs, his big spear legs comes over and just stabs everybody else. And kills his girlfriend and shoots his girlfriend through the bedroom

Speaker 14 through the bedroom door.

Speaker 14 You know this person. I do want to say this is coming up a little later.
What are you going to say? Coming up a little later, we have a foreign exchange student on the show.

Speaker 14 We also have someone from America's Heartland. Would they let you keep participating in the foreign exchange program? That's right.

Speaker 14 People move in and out of here all the time.

Speaker 14 So remember, here at Comedy Bang Bang, we care. That's our tagline for 2025.
I love that. Yeah.
Almost done. Wrapping it up.
Almost done. Yeah.
Putting a wrap up. We're going to put our tagline here.

Speaker 14 Yeah. We're putting the big giants' Christmas bow on the year.
Right. Because this is a Christian podcast.

Speaker 14 Everybody knows this is a Christian podcast. Don't say a holiday bow, Jason.
Oh, I didn't. Yeah, I didn't.

Speaker 14 I doubled down on your Christmas bow. Speaking of doubling down, he is a man with two names.

Speaker 14 And only two names. I have no middle name.
That's right. And if anyone, by the way, he does have a secret one.
If you can guess it and you say it to him on the street, it's like a rumble.

Speaker 14 He has to give you all his gold. It's a Rumpelstiltskin scenario.
Yep. And your baby back.
Baby back, baby. Baby back, baby back.
Baby back.

Speaker 14 You know him from such shows as Percy Jackson, the weird guy with the lightning stuff. Yep.

Speaker 14 You know him from one of the Star Trek things. One of them.

Speaker 14 You watch them all and you'll figure it out. Of course he's the TikTok man in the John Wickiverse.
Okay, TikTok, Mr. Wick.
Yes, that's right. Please welcome back to the show, Jason Manzukas.

Speaker 14 Scotty, thrilled to be here. Thrilled to have you on the show.
Here we go. Welcome to our.
It is autumn 2025 and we are living the dream. The leaves have all changed colors here in Los Angeles.

Speaker 14 Are you drinking that pumpkin spice?

Speaker 15 Spice life?

Speaker 14 I don't, wow, it's so loud. Everybody just reached for the knobs.
I don't know how the volume normalizes. You don't on this

Speaker 14 nod in your earphones. I listen to this podcast.
You don't. Oh, really? No, you're screaming constantly.

Speaker 14 Here we are in the fall. And I'm here to admit.

Speaker 14 I'm here to admit.

Speaker 14 Okay, Paisley. Oh, I don't serve.

Speaker 14 Okay, here's a real question, and I will answer your question before, but what I really want to know is how can we see the six-hour Prince documentary that family nine? Okay, then rather than nine.

Speaker 14 Oh, you're right. It is nine.
Yeah.

Speaker 14 Because that was the argument they used. If anyone has a filmmaker-made narrative.

Speaker 14 one guy who sends who sends me all this bootleg stuff all the time really yeah he has his own podcast he's a fellow podcast oh i love this i think i know who it is yeah he sends me all this kind of stuff if anyone has it he has it great you know who you are guy griffin

Speaker 14 send us send us this send us that shit and i'm also looking for the six hours griffin already knows this because i've i've tasked him already the six hour tom cruise acting class workshop i haven't heard about this

Speaker 14 I only just recently heard about it. Tom Cruise has apparently made a six-hour acting class video, a la the Michael Caine videos that got passed around years ago.
Michael Caine.

Speaker 14 Sorry, did you want to do a did you want to do that? I was bringing back my character from the Austin Powers franchise, which is the young Michael Caine. Yes, I remember.
Yes. So beautiful.
Yes.

Speaker 14 An impression I worked up for the audition and never got to use in the finished product. How long did you live with Michael Caine? We were rooming

Speaker 14 for

Speaker 14 we were in the back cave together. I was Batman for a brief period and he was Alfred.

Speaker 14 That's so cool. And then they replaced me.
Yeah. You get replaced a lot.
Yeah. They replaced me in the Austin Powers movie with the real footage.

Speaker 14 With just your back.

Speaker 14 Well, no, they used my own back. Yeah.
But a lot of people felt like that even your back wasn't a compelling performance. Yeah.

Speaker 14 That people were tuning out during that scene. People tuned out in the theaters.

Speaker 14 In the theaters, they switched channels. Hey, can we switch channels on this thing?

Speaker 14 Yeah, I understand. Anyway, Michael Caine, Tom Cruise, he has a six-hour six-hour acting workshop that I'm genuinely intrigued.
Yeah, I'd love to know. What is it like?

Speaker 14 Hang off the side of a building for five minutes. Well, I hope it's I hope the other thing that I heard, and this is,

Speaker 14 I suspect, an apocryphal story, is that Tom Cruise told Glenn Powell, his perceived successor, that he needs to, as soon as possible, look at video of yourself running because you don't look as cool as you think.

Speaker 14 Was he talking about Mission Impossible 3 with the big, the

Speaker 14 huge arms? He does that run in all the Mission Impossible.

Speaker 14 Are you kidding? I have to.

Speaker 14 In the final reckoning, he runs for, I'm going to say 75% of the movie.

Speaker 14 Look, this has come up on my other show. Scott hasn't seen it.
I don't think he runs it. He doesn't do the big arms.
He does the arms.

Speaker 14 He doesn't do the arms in every single movie. He does the arms in every single movie.
I know these movies like the movie. I don't think you do.
Freaking do you? I don't think you do.

Speaker 14 He's trotted it out for like three seconds in one of them. He does it in all of them because he thinks it looks cool as hell.
Anyway, look it up. Jason Kazuchas.
Look it up. Mankazukas? Yep.

Speaker 14 Jason Mankazucas. Mankazuchis.
God damn it. Mank was about you, wasn't it? Yes, yes.

Speaker 14 When you were blacklisted, yeah, oh my god.

Speaker 14 Remember when I was Mank? Yep.

Speaker 14 That was a great.

Speaker 14 I mean, the reboot is good. Yeah.

Speaker 14 What's the guy's name in it? Gary Collins. Who is it? Gary Collins.
Gary Collins is is Mank.

Speaker 14 Gary Collins is Mank. Ian.
Mank too.

Speaker 14 Terror on the lot. It's wonderful to have you back, Jason.
You're a great friend.

Speaker 14 Thrilled to be here. We'd love to have you on this show on this auspicious day.

Speaker 14 I think that it is an auspicious day, is it not?

Speaker 14 Whoa. Holy shit, that scared the hell out of me.
Was that you, Jason? No, it was not. Someone else is here.
It's me. He's right there.
I'm right here. Jesus.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 14 I turned my head slightly to the left. You're right.
You're

Speaker 14 two two inches away from me.

Speaker 14 How did you get in here? I zealiged on you guys. You full on

Speaker 14 me.

Speaker 14 What does that mean?

Speaker 14 I turned into my environment. Oh, I understand.
I have such a lack of personality that I become my surroundings. What's crazy is you're wearing

Speaker 14 so many metal

Speaker 14 apparatus. You're wearing so much noisy stuff, but you get snuck in here, sat down, put cans on, and got all set up at a microphone without us hearing any of it.
Yeah. That's right.

Speaker 14 I also think it's amazing you're using Zelig as a reference after the whole Woody Alvin stuff instead of just coming. What happened? Oh,

Speaker 14 gosh.

Speaker 14 Oh, boy. It's been so long, I don't even remember.
Oh, boy. You know what? Maybe.

Speaker 14 That's what these things are like, right? You just ride it out. Truly.
I mean, he was just on Bill Maher. That's right.
The fellow podcaster. Fellow podcaster.
We protect our own.

Speaker 14 He went to the Night Cave. What is it called? No, what is it called?

Speaker 14 What is it called? It's called Club Random. He went to Club Random.
He went to Club Cave. The Night Cave.
Boy, would I love to be a fly in the wall at Club Random with Woody Allen?

Speaker 14 Can you imagine those conversations like the Algonquin Round Table? Oh, it's like a Club Random. Table at Elaine's, except now it's Club Random.
Two tiny men on giant puffy chairs.

Speaker 14 Puffy chairs. Boy, that came up in the trial, I think.
You don't want to be bent over one of those. The puffy chair, the Duplas Brothers first movie?

Speaker 14 Not sure about that.

Speaker 14 But hi, Bob. Bob Duca is here.
Bob,

Speaker 14 for the newer listener, Bob is my ex-stepfather. He was unwell.

Speaker 14 Oh, no. I anticipated what you were going to ask.
He's married to my mother for six months. Six glorious months.
Back in the middle. Still a deep party or 90s, I think.
And yeah, anyway.

Speaker 14 I'm unwell, Scott. How are you? Oh, I'm so sorry.
Sorry, let me get to it. How are you? Pretty good.

Speaker 14 No, that's not true. That was a reflex.

Speaker 14 I happened to not be in the neighborhood, and I thought I'd come by and

Speaker 14 get some solace from you because

Speaker 14 we become, as the years go by, I think of you more almost like a best friend rather than the family. I would love to segue out of our father-son relationship.
That'll always be there.

Speaker 14 I'm not going to go there.

Speaker 14 I don't think that moving into the best friend territory is exactly where I want to go.

Speaker 14 That's salt and meat. That'll always be together.
What an incredible relationship to be able to have a father-son dynamic that blossoms in adulthood into best friends. Into just acquaintances.

Speaker 14 That would be amazing for me. Why are you putting so many walls up? I don't know.
I don't know. What is it about me?

Speaker 14 I feel like I have too many close relationships in my life. You're probably spoiled as a child.
They spared the rod,

Speaker 14 if that means anything to you. And then up go the walls.

Speaker 14 So, Bob, what's going on with you? Why are you so unwilling? I'm sorry asking. Yeah.

Speaker 14 I recently went to Dave and Buster's and had

Speaker 14 a horrible, horrible experience. Oh, no.
It's such a fun place.

Speaker 14 That's what I thought.

Speaker 14 What context did you go?

Speaker 14 Yeah, why were you there? You were part of a birthday party. Some sort of birthday party.
I was celebrating for a contractor.

Speaker 14 And it's not. Wait a minute.
Going

Speaker 14 to. Going table to table?

Speaker 14 Wait, wait. And you thought, did you think Dave and Buster's was someplace, yeah, someplace where they would congregate? Yes.
Yeah, okay. Yes, I thought it was their shop.

Speaker 14 And if one was named Dave, all the better. Sure, sure.
But in your mind, contractors are traditionally named Dave or Buster, so this must be a place where Dave's and Busters are.

Speaker 14 Well, I needed specific work done, which was demo a deconstruction.

Speaker 14 Busting. Yes.

Speaker 14 Got it. And I've never met a Dave that I don't trust.
Okay. Trust to bust?

Speaker 14 And what kind of work? To other people? I go, you can't trust this.

Speaker 14 Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. I don't know the reference.
What do you need busted? What is what's happening in your life? To be honest, please don't say ghosts. You, yeah.

Speaker 14 If it's ghosts, I mean, I know that we're we're in almost in October in a couple of days, but

Speaker 14 it's not time for the Halloween episode. So if you're talking about ghosts, I'm out.
For this reason, I'm out.

Speaker 14 Okay, sharks.

Speaker 14 I got a, you know how pregnant women will get a cast of their tummy? No, I don't know that. I've never heard of that.
Tell us more about this, Bob.

Speaker 14 Where do you go? Don't get me started about pregnant ladies' tummies. I do happen to notice that you have quite a bit of plaster of Paris in your back.
And I can't get it off.

Speaker 14 I was advised by my life coach to

Speaker 14 mother myself. I have an inner child, of course, so that means I have an outer mother.

Speaker 14 Inner child, outer mother. And as you know, I'm dripping with estrogen.
Good lord.

Speaker 14 Just a word I would never want you to use. I'm going in male perimenopause.

Speaker 14 What does that entail, exactly? Well, look at these tits.

Speaker 14 You tell me. Put them on the glass.

Speaker 14 just so i can see them a little oh yeah yeah yeah you managrams here

Speaker 14 managrams managrams

Speaker 14 yes just making sure so so what are you trying to are you saying i were constructing a a large i had my i had my i had a cast made of my tummy okay that i would then put up in my home okay to send reverence and uh to to to my inner child so you don't wear it you just you don't fall into a giant cast you put you put the plaster on your tummy, it hardens.

Speaker 14 And by the way, thank you for using the word tummy. Oh, yes,

Speaker 14 rather than any medical terms, right? Right.

Speaker 14 And then, and then you

Speaker 14 make a statue, like a statue of that. You know, when people do that with their faces, they make a thing of their face.

Speaker 14 I've seen the comedy and drama mask up on the wall of any woman I've ever dated since 1985.

Speaker 14 Wow, you've been dating her daughter. Are you a drama teacher?

Speaker 14 Interesting.

Speaker 14 Anyway, and I couldn't get this plaster off. I used the wrong combo.
Oh, wow. No, Bob.
And I'm very mad. I got it from a slime YouTuber.
I got the recipe from a slime YouTuber.

Speaker 14 What is a slime YouTuber?

Speaker 14 They make slime. Oh, okay.
Do they pour it on themselves, a la Nickelodeon? No, they just make it. It's slime, you know, slime slime.
It's wrong slime. Wrong slime.
Oh, okay. Yeah.

Speaker 14 Good reference.

Speaker 14 And anyway, I couldn't get it off. So I went to Dave and Buster's, and and it turns out it's not a licensed contractor or a demo place.
There's not a sledgehammer in sight.

Speaker 14 Was anyone there close to a contractor?

Speaker 14 There were some people in MAGA shirts. Okay.
Yeah, that's a good thing. That tracks.

Speaker 14 It's not food. It's an arcade.

Speaker 14 Games arcade, a game in Borgia. We know what Dave and Buster is.
Yes,

Speaker 14 it's a big place. They have sports TVs.
They have bar. They have food.
Well, they just have TVs with sports options.

Speaker 14 They're not sports. No, I don't think so.

Speaker 14 What do you mean? Different TVs for different events. No.
Yes.

Speaker 14 Not a movie TV. No, they are the same, Bob.
Nothing.

Speaker 14 You only need one switch. Wait a minute.
Are you switching your TV out anytime you want to watch a different type of program at your house? I'm at Costco. Or are you every other day? Or are you

Speaker 14 not watching certain things because you think it won't appear on your TV? The res is bad. Bad res.

Speaker 14 Bad res. Speaking of bad res, I made a bad reservation.

Speaker 14 Oh, no, where? Where? At Dave and Buster. Oh, what happened? happened? There was plenty of seats, but they wanted me to make a reservation.
There's a matrix there.

Speaker 14 So I decided to check it out, even though I knew the menu would not be good for me. I was very, very hungry.

Speaker 14 Why is the menu not good for you? Oh, just because of your food intolerances? Yes. What did you end up eating?

Speaker 14 Thanks for asking.

Speaker 14 I ate these foods and they got me very, very sick. And if I could have just a moment of silence.

Speaker 14 Sure.

Speaker 14 When I read these off, I want people to understand that this is a very emotional time for me.

Speaker 14 And as I read these, I'm letting them go.

Speaker 14 The following is a list of foods that I recently ate at Davenbuster's:

Speaker 14 Smash Burger,

Speaker 14 Smoke ass ribs with honey glazed Atari sauce,

Speaker 14 cheese stick stack,

Speaker 14 Barbacoa quesadilla, Loaded barbacoa fries.

Speaker 14 Lee Iacoca onion rings.

Speaker 14 Meat lover's funnel cake.

Speaker 14 Pretzel dog French toast.

Speaker 14 Truffle-dusted lost and found salad.

Speaker 14 Loaded nachos.

Speaker 14 Yoked nachos.

Speaker 14 Buff nachos with Blue Lives Matter dipping sauce.

Speaker 14 Punisher flag nachos with Go Rock queso and a side of bullets.

Speaker 14 Fajitas.

Speaker 14 Lemon pepper chicken wings. With Nintendo dip.

Speaker 14 Berry pepper chicken wings.

Speaker 14 Red Bull pancakes with honey barbecue chunks.

Speaker 14 Apple wood smoke bartender key card.

Speaker 14 Aioli tasting flight. Slurpee martini.

Speaker 14 Jalapino Guinness.

Speaker 14 Habanero Smart Water.

Speaker 14 Garlic Parm Banana Bread.

Speaker 14 Pan-fried arcade bologna.

Speaker 14 Bone and salami sliders.

Speaker 14 Han-breaded chimp strips with Sega glaze.

Speaker 14 Pickle brined crispy pigeon sandwich.

Speaker 14 Southwest salmon plate.

Speaker 14 Northeast carp platter.

Speaker 14 Four corners diarrhea bone.

Speaker 14 Beer-battered onion rings.

Speaker 14 And breaded elder abuse matzerox.

Speaker 14 All of which left me feeling very, very ill.

Speaker 14 Yeah, Bob, wow. That's that's uh, you ate all of them? Yes.

Speaker 14 Yeah, aside from the quality, I thought it was a game.

Speaker 14 Oh, you thought the menu was a game? I thought everything was a game. Did they give you tickets afterwards? Did you win anything? They did.

Speaker 14 They did. They did give me.
They felt bad. They said if I didn't sue, they'd give me tokens.
Wow.

Speaker 14 Oh, tokens to play other games. and it only got worse from there.
Oh, no. Oh, what? The following are injuries that I received in the arcade.
Playing the games? Oh, gosh. Oh, God.

Speaker 14 Although these were playing, I was playing games, but I didn't realize I was playing with my life.

Speaker 14 Human claw machine wedgie.

Speaker 14 I was

Speaker 14 roughed up by arcade urchins.

Speaker 14 Halotosis.

Speaker 14 Dance, dance, revolution, meniscus tear.

Speaker 14 first-person shooter cooties,

Speaker 14 fortnight sweats,

Speaker 14 held diverticulosis,

Speaker 14 curved spine craft,

Speaker 14 centipediatric diabetes,

Speaker 14 galligatism,

Speaker 14 the legend of Zika,

Speaker 14 Breath of the Wild,

Speaker 14 Tears of the Kidney Cysts, and It's a me, Mercer.

Speaker 14 It's a me, Mercer.

Speaker 14 So, as you can imagine, I feel awful. Bob, I'm so sorry.
Now I'm your problem because I need solace.

Speaker 14 I look, we're in the middle of a show. I don't know if you know that, but we're recording Coffee Bang Bang right now.
Yeah,

Speaker 14 this, I mean, Jason and I hang out occasionally, but and we hang out occasionally in front of microphones. Yes, of course.

Speaker 14 But yes, no, we are recording. I thought these were like steampunk hearing aids that you had with these.
No, no, these are, yeah, they're. Sounds like you're leading into a new list.

Speaker 14 Well, Bob, we'll do what we can. I mean, this sounds like a terrible ordeal for you.
Is there anything? Yes, is there any? Can we call someone on your behalf? You guys are rich. Do you do that

Speaker 14 thing where they come with IV drips?

Speaker 14 I have had that.

Speaker 14 I've done it. Yeah,

Speaker 14 chicken soup, IV drip, or whatever it is. It's not soup, it was mainly mixed.
So those Burt Kreischer post-party IV drips. I don't know if they're branded that way, but

Speaker 14 I don't know what Burt Kreischer does with

Speaker 14 whether. Oh, like you don't listen to two bears, one cave.

Speaker 14 Look, I love podcasters, but that's not one that I partook upon.

Speaker 14 What are your favorite podcasts, Bob? I'm just so curious.

Speaker 14 It sounds like you listen to 1010 Winds news. Okay, yeah, you give us 10 minutes, we'll give you the world.

Speaker 14 Uh-huh.

Speaker 14 Traffic and weather on the ones. Okay, well, that's still 10-10 wins.
Yeah, why do you only have 10 minutes, Bob? It seems like you don't do anything. I got to think about it.
You don't have a job.

Speaker 14 And I think you might just be listening to New York Radio. New York AM radio.

Speaker 14 I can't imagine that's a podcast. Brian Lair.
Okay, no, that's WNYC. That's a.

Speaker 14 I don't think so.

Speaker 14 Brian Lair, he's the morning man on WNYC.

Speaker 14 Trust us. We know about these things.

Speaker 14 Anyway, there's a lot of them. Do not say Satirius Johnson.

Speaker 14 Well, Bob, I don't know what we can do. Bob Edwards.

Speaker 14 Sure. But you can stick around and do the show with us if that's

Speaker 14 Leonard Lope.

Speaker 14 I mean, you're just sort of a co-host, sort of like what Jason does. He interrupts all the time.
Okay. What do we, okay? You do.
You be. Okay.

Speaker 14 We'll do

Speaker 14 it.

Speaker 14 I'll be like the wolf.

Speaker 14 You're Scott Ackerman and the wolf.

Speaker 14 I don't know that you need to adopt someone hey what's that what's it my wife made me go buy tampons hey wolf you're married oh boy don't even uh remind me of it boy oh okay she's she well you brought it up yeah yeah she cheated on me

Speaker 14 wolf no what happened after or before you bought her the tampons

Speaker 14 what happened

Speaker 14 I bought it yeah I bought her the tampons okay

Speaker 14 I tried to save money Oh, no.

Speaker 14 And what did you do? What did you end up buying?

Speaker 14 I went to an Army surplus store. I bought her old World War II gauze.

Speaker 14 World War II gauze? Gauze. Like a medic supply.
Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Yeah.
Yeah, that's not. You don't want to put that anywhere near a sensitive area.
Yeah.

Speaker 14 They're called mash pads.

Speaker 14 I believe you, man. It's just no, I believe you too.
How would you know to do that? Why not just go buy tampons, in other words?

Speaker 14 Hey, man, I'm a guy. I don't want to do that.
Classic wolf. Hey, call in right now if you've ever been in that situation where your lady says, Come by your tampons.
And you're

Speaker 14 wolf, we can't take calls on car. But that is how about this, though.
If you want to call in to a future episode, leave a voicemail for Scott.

Speaker 14 Send Scott a voicemail that's asking the wolf any questions you want.

Speaker 14 And tell me which stocks are

Speaker 14 going off right then. And then you know now

Speaker 14 to get them. Sure, I don't know that in the future that'll help you out.
But people can leave that information in their voicemails.

Speaker 14 Yeah, leave stock information. And what was the other thing?

Speaker 14 Any questions you have for the wolf, if that's ever happened to you before, where your wife says to go buy tampons and you instead

Speaker 14 go to the Army, Navy Surplus,

Speaker 14 and buy MASHP. You're just trying to watch the game, and she says, Can you give me a touch? What are you watching?

Speaker 14 The guy, oh man,

Speaker 14 they hired the Japanese guy came in and they spent it. He's so expensive.
That one. You mainly watch for the salaries.
Is that what I'm getting?

Speaker 14 Well, look, Wolf or Bob or whoever.

Speaker 14 I love this. I love having Bob in as the wolf.
This is Bob is.

Speaker 14 Yeah, if you want to stay in character as the wolf the entire time, we usually don't have people coming in and doing characters, but if you want to do that, that's fine. Okay.

Speaker 14 I mean, I will say, Bob, it came so naturally. Oh, thank you.
Almost as if you've been preparing for this your entire life.

Speaker 14 Really?

Speaker 14 You were so deep in it.

Speaker 14 I was, it's weird. I was bit by a morning DJ one time.
Oh, boy. Okay.
Was he right? Was it Wolfman J?

Speaker 14 I don't know. But then I heard that there's a curse that I may turn into one.
Yeah. Oh, okay.
Boy.

Speaker 14 A midday wolf transformation.

Speaker 14 Look, Jason and Wolf, you're going to stay as the wolf. Yeah.
We need to take a break. Let's get the lead out.
Yeah, we have a big show.

Speaker 14 Is it two for Tuesday as well? So we got two Led Zeppelin songs coming your way. I think, yeah, we're going to do two Led Zeppelin songs and then a few ads.

Speaker 14 And then when we come back, we're going to have a foreign exchange student. And coming up a little later, we have someone from America's Heartland.
This is a packed show. This is amazing.

Speaker 14 Incredible stuff. We're going to be right back with more comedy banging

Speaker 14 with Jason and the wolf.

Speaker 14 After this,

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Speaker 14 Hello, everyone. This is Scott Augerman of Comedy Bang Bang, and I want to tell you about a podcast that I think you're going to love.
It's called Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade.

Speaker 14 Now, you know, I'm a big fan of both of these gentlemen. Dana has been on Comedy Bang Bang.
They're the legendary Saturday Night Live stars.

Speaker 14 And what they do is they take you behind the scenes at SNL and, of course, the larger entertainment world.

Speaker 14 Every Thursday, the guys hang out with friends and comedy icons like Will Arnett, Nate Bargatzi, Amy Poehler, Jerry Seinfeld, so many more.

Speaker 14 And on Mondays, join Dana and David as they riff on current events, pop culture, trending clips, and answer all of your audience questions.

Speaker 14 Kick back, relax, enjoy the comedy, absurdity, and world-class banter from your favorite duo. Follow and listen to Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade everywhere you get your podcasts.

Speaker 14 Comedy Bang Bang, we're back.

Speaker 14 Of course, Comedy Bang Bang with Jason and the Wolf.

Speaker 14 We have Jason Manzoukas here. All right.

Speaker 14 Doing his best. We're back with the wolf.
What's up, Wolfman? Did you know you could do a Wolfman jack? All right.

Speaker 14 All right.

Speaker 14 That's basically it.

Speaker 14 We also have the Wolf here, who is our co-host, at least for the foreseeable future. Has this ever happened to you and your wife? Like, where's the remote control? And you're like, hey,

Speaker 14 I got to take it down. This fence,

Speaker 14 I got to fix this. You want me to fix the fence or do you want the remote control?

Speaker 14 Why not both? Like, she could watch whatever she wants while you fix the fence.

Speaker 14 That's a good point.

Speaker 14 Just do the wolf. I'm not criticizing wolf.
It's stupid. Just do the wolf now.
Just do the wolf. Yeah, just do the wolf now.
We'll save it. Yeah.

Speaker 14 Oh, God. Sounds like a wolf.

Speaker 14 Dying duck. Is the wolf okay?

Speaker 14 The wolf has lupus. Oh, how ironic.
Lupine lupus? Lupine lupus.

Speaker 14 I'm so sorry to hear that, wolf.

Speaker 14 Well,

Speaker 14 you know, our best goes out to you and your family as you try to get through this difficult time. But we do need to get to our next guest.

Speaker 14 Let's see. He's a foreign exchange student.
This is fascinating. Every once in a while, we bring people on from different cultures, different countries, and we like to talk to them about their lives.

Speaker 14 And today is no exception. Please welcome to the show for the first time, Peter Strussel.

Speaker 15 You guys.

Speaker 14 Hi.

Speaker 14 Hey, Peter. How are you? I'm amazing.
Oh, wow. Oh, that's awesome.

Speaker 15 You guys, it's so good to be here.

Speaker 14 This is the wolf.

Speaker 14 Hold on, if I may speak in my regular voice, I'm actually Bob.

Speaker 15 Bob, that was incredible.

Speaker 14 thank you i couldn't believe how he became the wolf right oh wow i'm jason just so you know jason and jay also known as jeffrey character wheaties oh yes can we hear from jeffrey yeah

Speaker 15 and i am jeffrey character wheaties yeah so yeah very different oh my god yeah everyone's so talented here and scott i know you because i've been staying in your guest house

Speaker 14 i have uh multiple guest houses on the property and i like to bring people in from various other cultures It's so generous of you to be hosting people from other cultures. Peter, where are you?

Speaker 14 Where do you hail from? Where are you from? Austria. Oh, wow.
Austria.

Speaker 15 Yeah.

Speaker 15 And I've been having summer here and staying in Scott's guest house.

Speaker 14 I did want to ask, summer's over at this point.

Speaker 14 How much longer are you going to be here?

Speaker 15 Well, that's the question.

Speaker 14 It's autumn now. It's so beautiful out.
Oh, my.

Speaker 14 You have to stay here for autumn. It's so California autumns.
they're so amazing. It's beat six degrees,

Speaker 14 nothing changes.

Speaker 14 The leaves are turning that orange and red, the crisp air.

Speaker 15 Oh, I can't wait. And that's actually, I'm looking for a place to stay.
Sounds like Scott doesn't want me anymore. I really does.

Speaker 14 No.

Speaker 14 I could be, I could, I don't know. I could reconsider if you like.

Speaker 14 What do you have plans to do while you're here?

Speaker 15 I guess go hiking.

Speaker 14 Sure.

Speaker 14 Okay, I guess I meant more long-term. Like, why do you want to stay here?

Speaker 15 Oh, it's so beautiful. And also, probably for like medical procedure, maybe.

Speaker 14 Oh, wow.

Speaker 14 Yeah. Okay.
What's up? You guys. Why, Bob? Bob, I mean, the wolf's ears pricked up.

Speaker 14 Is that part of a thing?

Speaker 14 If you're an exchange student, do you get medical procedures? Well,

Speaker 14 did you... Maybe we could swap you for Bob over here? You could go to Austria and get some medical procedures.
Well, no, it sounds like a medical program. Peter's here

Speaker 14 for a medical procedure. But if you swap, maybe you'll get it.
If it's an exchange program, maybe you can go and get Austrian medical procedure while Peter's getting American.

Speaker 15 Are you looking for medical procedures?

Speaker 14 I want an Austrian colonoscopy.

Speaker 14 What's the difference between the two?

Speaker 14 Chocolate. Oh, okay.

Speaker 14 Chocolate comes out instead of...

Speaker 14 I don't think that's cheaper. I don't know.
I don't think that's chocolate. I don't think that's chocolate.
And the same stuff comes out either. Yeah.
Oh, I don't know.

Speaker 14 It's just that our chocolate is worse than Europe's chocolate. Yeah.
Yeah. Austria.
Now, does it? I feel like everything smells like candy there.

Speaker 15 It really does.

Speaker 15 It's so wonderful over there, but not as good as here in Los Angeles in Scottsburg.

Speaker 14 USA, baby. That's wow.
And so, how long have you been here? What have you been doing for your summer?

Speaker 15 Well, I had an internship before.

Speaker 14 Great.

Speaker 15 And then it ran out. So my visa was in a tricky situation.
Oh, be careful.

Speaker 15 You guys, I was scared. But then Scott sponsored me.
Thank you, Scott.

Speaker 14 Oh, yeah. I actually, no, I called Ice.

Speaker 14 It was very, I mean, I know I can see where the confusion is, but no, I ratted you out, actually. I don't know why they haven't shown up.

Speaker 15 Well, actually, Ice did show up. We became the best of friends.

Speaker 14 Oh, wow.

Speaker 14 You guys,

Speaker 15 they're not so bad.

Speaker 14 This is the wolf. You know, I'm better than Dean Kane, and I gotta say this is the best.
You don't have to say this is the wolf. Well, I just want to say that.
You don't have to say this is the wolf.

Speaker 14 Dancing.

Speaker 14 the wolf i'm the wolf that that that the dean kane is uh speaking of ice you know he's he's uh he's like uh he's incredible in incredible shape and he's doing something how's he doing he injured himself doing that obstacle course i know

Speaker 14 oh i didn't hear about that oh yeah

Speaker 14 even with his fingerless gloves

Speaker 14 He's feeling the cane pain right now. Yeah.
But so Peter, so you've made friends with ICE. You're here for a while.

Speaker 14 They're not that bad, according to you. Wow.
And so what you want some medical procedures? What is it you want to do with your life? What do you think that you want, medically speaking?

Speaker 14 Or is this a necessity?

Speaker 15 It's a necessity, unfortunately. Yeah.

Speaker 15 But it's kind of depressing. We don't even have to talk about it.

Speaker 14 We can talk about Los Angeles in autumn.

Speaker 15 So beautiful.

Speaker 14 It's gorgeous. It is.
It is gorgeous.

Speaker 15 But yeah, I do need to get a very serious transplant.

Speaker 14 Okay, it sounds like a lot of people. And the fall is the perfect time of year to go for a picnic.

Speaker 14 Yes. You know, go take a picnic into the park.

Speaker 15 My favorite park. Elysian.

Speaker 14 Sure. It's a good one.
I mean, we could name Los Angeles landmarks all day, but it is.

Speaker 15 Oh, please.

Speaker 14 Oh, please. Yeah.

Speaker 14 When I said that, I kind of made it. You started.
You gotta get started, Scott. Go ahead.
Ray's Famous Pizza.

Speaker 14 The battery. The Automotive Museum on Wilshire.
Johnny's across the street. Nope.

Speaker 14 But look. this is the longest Scott has ever talked to me.

Speaker 14 Wow. Scott, why aren't you talking to Peter? Well, I didn't realize, Peter, that that was part of the arrangement that we had.

Speaker 14 I mean, I basically sent someone over there to Austria and someone I was trying to get rid of here. And I didn't realize we had that was the exchange.

Speaker 15 Yes.

Speaker 14 Yeah. But what's the transplant? Because I know people with extra standards.
And just out of curiosity, only because it's moving into autumn and fall and all that comes with it.

Speaker 14 Peter, are you a pumpkin eater?

Speaker 15 What's pumpkin?

Speaker 14 What's pumpkin? Do you not have pumpkins in Austria? And we do want to get to whatever transplants you need.

Speaker 14 That I just want to be clear, but we would love to get to the bottom of this pumpkin situation.

Speaker 15 Yeah, I me too.

Speaker 15 How does it look?

Speaker 14 Well, it's look, I mean, it's, have you ever seen a basketball? The most orange ball?

Speaker 15 Yeah.

Speaker 15 Los Angeles. Maybe that's a good start.
Beautiful, so full of basketball courts where I play one-on-one.

Speaker 14 Really? Against whom?

Speaker 15 In Bellevue Park. Nice.
In Barnesdale Park.

Speaker 14 Great. All the bees, all the bee parks.

Speaker 15 And then I said Elysian is the one.

Speaker 14 We said Elysian. Yeah, we're going alphabetically with the parks.
Yep. We're moving backwards.

Speaker 15 So basketball, pretty much. I'm on the same page, you guys.

Speaker 14 Okay, so imagine a basketball, but then put like a little green or kind of off-white

Speaker 14 stem on

Speaker 14 the orange gourd. A gourd.
Yeah. Oh, okay.

Speaker 14 That's a better way of describing what it is.

Speaker 15 A much better way.

Speaker 14 You know, a pumpkin is a fruit. Is it really? Yeah.
All gourds are fruits.

Speaker 14 Great.

Speaker 14 Just letting you know. Fruits are gourds.
There you go.

Speaker 14 Thanks, Wolf.

Speaker 14 Speaking of parks, I work out at Venice Beach because I love,

Speaker 14 it's medically proven in the hot, hot, hot sun, you can lift more weight. Oh, wow.
Yeah.

Speaker 14 You are, you seem to be, since last I saw you, though, have lost quite a bit of weight. I have.
Yeah.

Speaker 14 Are you on the shot? Are you on Ozempic? Uh-huh. I don't know if it's cool to ask.
Yeah, I have an Ozempic sniper.

Speaker 14 They don't tell me when it's coming. Yeah.

Speaker 14 Because I feel like it's effeminate to take it. Sure, sure.
So I just have, I hire somebody and I say, I wouldn't be surprised.

Speaker 14 Sure, sure. So you just have someone with a tranquilizer gun, but instead of delivering a tranquilizer, the dark.

Speaker 14 They do it in the cutest ways. Oh, yeah.
Sometimes at 500 yards. Yep.
Sometimes they're just in a garbage can and they come up.

Speaker 15 Oh my God, the wolf. I think I saw you in Venice.

Speaker 14 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 15 Are you skateboarding?

Speaker 14 Yeah, I skateboard with no shirt and thick jeans.

Speaker 14 How many ounces are those jeans, man? They seem

Speaker 14 heavy. And these jeans have not lost anything.
That salvage is heavy.

Speaker 14 They have a width of like an inch and a half or something. Incredible.
Yeah. These are car hearts from the 70s.
Oh my gosh. They're made out of fire hose.

Speaker 15 Ounces, you say.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 15 They use them to cut diamonds.

Speaker 15 It's fluid ounces. So the jeans are wet?

Speaker 14 Yeah. They get on the inside.
They get poured on.

Speaker 14 They're wet on the inside.

Speaker 14 I have mushrooms in my legs. Oh, wow.

Speaker 14 What's the biggest culture shock

Speaker 14 when you're out here as a wolf?

Speaker 15 Oh, thank you, you guys. And thank you, the wolf.

Speaker 15 For me, it's having to be not being with my cat.

Speaker 14 Oh, well, you left your cat in Austria?

Speaker 15 Yeah, I left your cat in the cat.

Speaker 14 What's your cat's name? Eddie?

Speaker 15 Eddie is in Austria.

Speaker 14 Oh, how old?

Speaker 15 Oh, five.

Speaker 14 Oh, okay. Wow.

Speaker 14 In cat years?

Speaker 14 Inhuman. Oh, inhuman.

Speaker 15 And we used to go on so many adventures. What is cat years?

Speaker 14 Oh, yeah, what is cat years, Scott?

Speaker 14 Isn't there some sort of formula? They have nine lives, which means like if you divide, you know, an average cat lifespan by nine, those are. What's an average cat lifespan?

Speaker 14 And then you divide that by nine.

Speaker 14 Yeah. So you divide that by nine.
Every two years is a cat year, I think. Every two years is a cat.
Yeah, so your cat is like two and a half cat years. Oh, wow.
So cat's younger.

Speaker 15 So he's younger. Yeah.

Speaker 14 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 15 Oh, that's

Speaker 15 amazing.

Speaker 14 That's awesome. Oh.
As your cat gets older, it gets younger?

Speaker 14 Interesting.

Speaker 15 That's great news because I love Eddie.

Speaker 14 Oh, wow. Why leave Eddie for so long and why stay here? I mean,

Speaker 14 I'm not pushing you to go back. I just, who's taking care of Eddie? What's happening with Eddie? Yes.

Speaker 15 Well, even though I am now friends with the ice guys,

Speaker 15 we are at an impasse. I can't travel internationally and want to return here.

Speaker 14 Right.

Speaker 15 So, Eddie having to wait. But I love Eddie, and we go on so many adventures together.
You go.

Speaker 14 Oh, he's like one of those weird outdoor cats.

Speaker 15 Yeah, he rides my shoulder.

Speaker 14 Oh, cool. Like a bird? Yeah.

Speaker 14 Wow. And again, who's taking care of Eddie or is anyone taking care of Eddie?

Speaker 15 Oh, Eddie's tough.

Speaker 14 Okay, Eddie's tough. Wow.
This is not making me feel better about the whole thing. So Eddie's on his own.
Yeah.

Speaker 15 So I miss him terribly. I wish he was.

Speaker 14 So you have no idea what's up with Eddie.

Speaker 15 Oh, he's a really tough guy.

Speaker 14 Okay, you can't wait.

Speaker 14 Now, when you say tough, you furrow everything. You furrow everything.
You furrow.

Speaker 14 It's a full body furrow. Guys, I'm pretty sure Eddie's a fighter, okay? Oh, I believe it.

Speaker 15 Yeah, so he's being good, probably. And I can't wait to see him again.

Speaker 14 Oh, I bet Eddie's doing great, is Bob. I bet he's doing great.
I bet he's like hanging out in the alley, playing fishbone marimbas. Just hanging out.
Like out of a garbage can, like Heathcliff?

Speaker 14 Like Top Cat? Yeah.

Speaker 14 Sure. Once they go homeless, they get a hat.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 14 One where the top is kind of like torn off and it's not like a donkey. No, it's a cat.
It's a street cat. He's just got like a jaunty cap.

Speaker 15 Yeah. Are you saying you think maybe Eddie having fingerless claws?

Speaker 14 Wow. Could be.

Speaker 14 Does Eddie have any like demonstrable skills? Like, how is he, do you think? Is he like busking? Can he play an instrument? Or what does he do? Does he do tricks?

Speaker 15 He's really calm. Oh, like when I found him, start putting him on my shoulder.
He didn't fight it at all.

Speaker 14 I don't know whether I would pay to see that, but. That's cool as hell, though.

Speaker 15 You would pay to see that?

Speaker 14 No, I wouldn't. A calm cat.

Speaker 15 You're saying now you're paying to see that.

Speaker 14 No, no, I'm saying I would not. I'm sorry, a contraction stiff sold for you i would not pay to see that okay so you're paying so you would pay

Speaker 14 you would pay to not see it okay no again but uh i i'm afraid i look i hate to say this peter but i think eddie if not dead already

Speaker 14 eddie doesn't have long for this world without

Speaker 14 take care of him i mean what's have you not heard that eddie's a fighter oh

Speaker 14 so

Speaker 14 they must have this is the wolf don't they have socialized garbage in in austria everything's free you probably get like socialized cat medicine i bet i bet is part of it.

Speaker 14 Well, hopefully, someone's looking after Eddie. We wish the best for Eddie.

Speaker 15 I know what you're trying to do. You don't want me anymore in the pool house, so you're trying to convince me to leave.

Speaker 14 I just had a great idea. Yeah.

Speaker 14 Instead, why don't we

Speaker 15 live with you?

Speaker 14 That's possible, by the way. But what I was going to pitch is, why don't we raise a little bit of money on the podcast and bring Eddie to America?

Speaker 14 Like,

Speaker 14 because I agree with you, Scott. I think that Peter and Eddie need to be reunited, but I think it needs to be on American soil.

Speaker 14 Some sort of GoFundMe where we have to pay for someone to locate Eddie for a while. Go fund yourself.
That's a good idea. This is the wolf.

Speaker 14 Call in right now if you want to donate some money to keep Eddie going. The fifth caller comes.

Speaker 14 We're only taking the fifth caller.

Speaker 14 Yep. He's going to get a ticket to the six flags.
Yeah. Yeah.
Fifth caller. Fifth caller gets a ticket to six flags.
Six flags. Save Eddie.
Yeah. Look, California's great and all.

Speaker 14 I just, I don't know why you, you know, you're only here for a little bit of time. I, I, unless something's going on in your life where you need to stay here, or do you need to emigrate? Or

Speaker 15 do you think I could do it?

Speaker 14 I believe in you, if that's what you're asking.

Speaker 15 I would love to be here permanently.

Speaker 14 Wow. Well, it's a wonderful country.
This is Bob. I'll marry you.

Speaker 14 I'll marry you, but we have to. I want to become an Austrian citizen and I want to be a prince.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 14 Bob

Speaker 14 or the wolf, I'd love to marry you.

Speaker 15 you.

Speaker 14 So you could stay here.

Speaker 15 But I have to be honest, you guys. I'm not royalty.

Speaker 15 So I don't know about how you'd be prince.

Speaker 14 What about those

Speaker 14 puffy velvet jodspurs you're wearing?

Speaker 14 What about those, Peter? Yeah, what about those, Peter?

Speaker 15 What about those? And that

Speaker 14 velvety crown thing on your head?

Speaker 15 Yeah, Peter. What about

Speaker 14 those? No, we're asking you that, Peter. Oh,

Speaker 14 whoa.

Speaker 14 Oh, wait.

Speaker 15 Okay.

Speaker 14 So are you asking

Speaker 14 you?

Speaker 14 Who? This is not like a Jedi mind trick kind of situation.

Speaker 14 It's just a pure question. The type of which we ask on the show all the time.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. This is Pop.

Speaker 14 I bet you, I bet you, are you a prince and you just want to be a regular boy and that's why you don't want to go back? Whoa. You feel like a PNP situation.

Speaker 14 Prince and Popper. Who? Prince and Popper.
Oh, yeah. PNP.
That other

Speaker 14 morning radio team. PNP.
Prince and the Popper. Yeah.

Speaker 14 That was when Prince and John Popper teamed up, I think. Yes.

Speaker 14 I want to see that documentary. Okay.

Speaker 15 You know what?

Speaker 14 Griffin.

Speaker 15 I have to come clean. I guess you got me.
I'm pretty much a prince.

Speaker 14 Whoa.

Speaker 14 Peter, you're a prince.

Speaker 14 It all makes sense now. You're a prince of a man, I'll say that.

Speaker 15 Yeah. I just wanted to have real college experience.

Speaker 14 Wow.

Speaker 15 And so I came here and sleeping in Scott's pool house.

Speaker 14 It's not really a real college experience sleeping in my pool house. It's not like a college experience.
It's like, you know, the room is trash. You keep it really messy.

Speaker 14 It's just a bunch of video games

Speaker 14 and

Speaker 14 old porno tapes.

Speaker 15 And by the way, I lied about my cat, too.

Speaker 14 What's going on with your cat, or do you even have one?

Speaker 15 Well, it's actually a big tiger.

Speaker 14 Because I'm a terrible teacher. Because you're a royalty.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 14 Wow. Yeah.
Okay, I think your tiger, Eddie's fine then. How cool.

Speaker 15 And guess what? His name's not Eddie What is it?

Speaker 14 What these guys

Speaker 15 His name's Klaus Klaus

Speaker 15 Yeah, and he lives in the palace.

Speaker 14 Oh wow whoa, wait a minute. Is he like can he like do cuz is he like super fancy? Can he talk? Can he do like special stuff?

Speaker 14 Just silly.

Speaker 15 Okay, no, no, okay. Well, but I he's tough.

Speaker 14 Oh, of course. I would

Speaker 14 are frightening. Remember how I said he's a fighter? Yeah.

Speaker 15 Yeah. Now it's

Speaker 14 now that he's a tiger.

Speaker 15 Now it's making sense.

Speaker 14 Yeah. That's cool.
If I was royalty, I'd do that, like tiger boxing, too. I'd make him a fighter, get those animal bear baiting, all that stuff.
Yeah.

Speaker 15 So you're telling me my clothes gave it all away, huh?

Speaker 14 Yeah. Yeah, I mean, your sash as well that says prints on it.
Yep. Your scepter.

Speaker 15 So what, you think the guys at AE Pie, they know too, huh?

Speaker 14 I think they probably do.

Speaker 14 I mean, quite honestly, you've been here all summer. This is what you've worn every single day.
Yeah.

Speaker 15 Well, what

Speaker 15 else am I supposed to wear?

Speaker 14 Do you not change clothes in Austria? Like any of the clothes that other people are wearing. I've also noticed you swimming in this outfit, which seems

Speaker 14 like it would immediately be so heavy. You're struggling against the weight of the wet velvet.
I was at Venice Beach and I saw you come out of the water. It was like a cartoon.

Speaker 14 It was just like your big puffy jot spurs and water coming out, and of like a fish or something. A bunch of fish, right? That's right.

Speaker 15 You guys, I had a lot of fish in my pockets. So I'm a little confused now.
So not everybody's getting getting dressed by royal helpers every day.

Speaker 14 Oh,

Speaker 14 is that who all those people are?

Speaker 14 Oh, you have servants.

Speaker 14 We don't like to call them servants anymore or the master bedroom or I didn't even say those words.

Speaker 15 You said that.

Speaker 14 You have both brought those up and shamed us for using them? That's right, guys. Come on.
Let's keep it classy on comedy bang bang. This is the wolf.

Speaker 14 Give a call if your wife has ever just said, hey, you're going to a friend's house and she's like, that's what you're wearing? You're like, hey, I thought it was just a barbecue.

Speaker 14 She said, yeah, but you got to dress up. And I'm like, it's a polo shirt.
And she's, I mean, thanks for that. Yeah.

Speaker 14 You're just calling that.

Speaker 14 You need a little help with the dismount, Wolf.

Speaker 14 You know what, though? You know, he's brand new at this. And I just want to say, like, he's doing great.
I want to encourage Bob. You're doing great, Wolf.
Bob, Wolf, Wolf. Say it to Bob.
He needs it.

Speaker 14 But, Bob, you're doing great, Bob. Thank you.
Yeah.

Speaker 15 All right.

Speaker 15 So you can't say master bedroom.

Speaker 15 And, but you're always saying wife Peter. You're wearing a lot of them.

Speaker 14 Well, sure. I mean, but who can change 55 years of

Speaker 14 saying something one way, you know? For me.

Speaker 15 Oh, I thought you meant culturally.

Speaker 14 Culturally.

Speaker 14 Culturally, it's been probably less. And when I suggested you change it to the modern wife eater, you said no thanks.

Speaker 15 I've had wife pleaser.

Speaker 14 Oh, really? To describe the tank top? Why can't we just do tank top? How would that please a wife?

Speaker 15 Okay, so you prefer wife eater then?

Speaker 14 I say tank top. Okay.
As far as I'm concerned, tank top.

Speaker 15 I'm learning so much, much, you guys.

Speaker 14 Well, your English is fantastic. Or do you speak English in Austria? I'm not quite sure.

Speaker 15 We're all speaking English.

Speaker 14 I have a question now, Peter. Now that the curtain has been pulled aside and you are revealed to be a prince, do you, in fact, need any medical treatments here, or was that all a clever ruse?

Speaker 15 It was real.

Speaker 14 Wow. Oh, no.
Do they...

Speaker 14 Even for a prince, they don't have specific medical services there in Austria that we have here?

Speaker 15 Want to do it.

Speaker 15 but here you guys have amazing plastic surgeons.

Speaker 14 Oh, wait, are you getting a BBL? That's right. Oh, Peter.

Speaker 15 Well, look at the pants I'm wearing.

Speaker 14 Oh, they're going to be in that shape. Yeah.

Speaker 14 You got to fill out those

Speaker 14 blousy pants. You're getting a side BBL.

Speaker 15 Yes.

Speaker 14 Got it.

Speaker 15 Oh, it's good to be seen and heard.

Speaker 14 Oh, wow. Oh, this is so exciting.
This is great for you. It's so cool to watch you blossom into the person that you want to be.
Yeah.

Speaker 15 It's all thanks to Scott.

Speaker 14 I mean, look, I open up my home to you and to your 20 man servants. And,

Speaker 14 you know, I'm happy to do it. It's wonderful to have you on the show.

Speaker 15 Oh, thank you for having me.

Speaker 14 Yeah, of course. I mean, we do need to take a break.
Do you want to stick around? Is that possible? We have someone coming up from someone from America's Heartland. I'd love to.

Speaker 14 Have you ever been to America's Heartland? I'm going now. Oh, wow.
This is going to be great.

Speaker 14 This is going to be great. Well, Well, Wolf, do you want to take us into commercial? Sure.

Speaker 14 I just wanted to let people know when I've got my car lease, I went to Del Monte, Del Monte Honda, and they got an incredible deal, an amazing, I got the Tundra truck. It's got four alpha tundra.

Speaker 14 Okay, we're going to come right back.

Speaker 14 We kind of want to see where this is going.

Speaker 14 We're going to come right back with more Jason Manzukas, more Peter Strussel, more the wolf, and we have someone from America's Heartland. We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this.

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