Record Setting Guessing

This episode is brought to you by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet.

I'm sure everyone can agree with me when I say that nowadays everything in your house keeps getting smarter.

Smart speakers, smart mirror, smart toaster, smart coffee maker, smart shoes, smart carpet, everything.

What isn't smart?

Luckily, T-Mobile 5G Home Internet makes it easy to keep all your devices connected.

With their quick, one-cord setup, you can hop online in literally 15 minutes or less.

They've also got fast speeds, a price that works for any budget, and a five-year price guarantee.

So, if you're looking for internet that keeps up with you, connect to T-Mobile Home Internet for their fast 5G speeds, easy 15-minute setup, and five-year price guarantee.

Visit t-mobile.com/slash home internet to check availability.

Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G internet data exclusions like taxes and fees apply.

Service delivered via 5G network speeds vary due to factors affecting cellular networks.

Guarantee exclusions and details at tmobile.com/slash home internet.

This episode is brought to you by Nos Energy.

Nos Energy exists to boost your horsepower.

So it depends on what kind of boost you need.

Are you prepping for an exam?

Are you prepping for a job interview?

Are you prepping to wake up in the morning?

Do you a prepper?

Oh, I'm a big prepper.

If you want the high-performance boost that tastes great, NOS Energy comes in a range of refreshing flavors.

Original, GT Grape, and Sonic Sour.

And Nos Zero Sugar is, you guessed it, sugar-free.

NOS Energy.

Get after it.

Find out more at drinknos.com.

That's D-R-I-N-K-N-O-S.com.

This episode is brought to you by Mento's Gum.

Keep things fresh, it's important, right?

And I'm not just talking about fresh breath.

It's important to switch up your routine whenever you can.

I just, I'm the person who can't help but chew.

You put a minimint in your mouth, you're supposed to suck on it.

I'm like,

swallow.

So I kind of need gum.

You turn into a cartoon dog.

I'm sorry.

Next time we hang out, I'm giving you a mint just to see what happens.

And of course, another way to refresh every day is with Mento's Gum, available in a range of fresh flavors like Spearmint, Freshmint, and Strawberry.

Mentos Gum, yes, to fresh.

This episode of Distractible is presented to you by Amazon Prime.

Whatever you're into, it's on Prime.

And I'm into a lot.

You can't look at my order history.

I won't let anyone.

A lot of this show, I think, comes directly off Amazon.

I think we all got our coins of fairness on there.

Where'd you get your stacks of paper you scribble on, Wade?

Amazon.

Whatever it is, Prime helps you get more out of whatever passions you're into or getting into.

Head to amazon.com/slash Prime and follow your obsession wherever it goes.

Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Destractable.

This episode: Bewildering Bob belittles hero beams, screen snoops, then gets the guys giddy over Guinness.

Waterboy Wade disbelieves Donar, sees Khalil and the FF, underestimates Ishmael, but supports the swinger.

Methodical Mark, Lord Scalactis' massive head, picks BTA porn, Gurns, 69s, and risks lady luck.

From myocardial infarctions to truly deranged airs.

Yahs.

It's time for

record-setting guessing.

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hello and welcome back back to your nephew's third favorite podcast.

Yes, that's right.

You're listening to Distractible once again by accident, thanks to your favorite podcast app.

It's okay.

You should stick around.

This one's going to be really good.

Unlike they usually are.

I don't know.

I'm in a mood today.

It's not my fault.

It's just yours.

It's yours for listening.

Me?

Okay, good.

Oh, yeah, not you guys.

I would never blame my co-hosts, Mark and Wade.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thanks.

You sound sincerely overjoyed at at my letting you off the hook.

Well, I was concerned because you said your hands smelled like barbecue chips and you did not eat barbecue chips, which is, you know.

Yeah, you never get that?

No, no, just you know,

is that just a me thing?

I think that's a very specific type of stroke, but you know, it's like in that Molly Shannon movie, a superstar where she's all

and then she's a superstar.

Mine smells like tears and chloroform.

Who the fuck is Molly Shannon?

Is that funny?

All I could think was chloroform doesn't have a smell.

Stupid.

Okay.

Does it not?

Isn't that the thing?

Isn't it odorless?

I don't know.

I've never been chloroformed.

We'll have to do it to each other sometime when we're all hanging out.

That sounds like a new nasal video that we would have done.

It really does.

I think it's a lot more dangerous in real life than it's conveyed in the movies.

Yeah, I don't think you actually just like, ugh.

I don't think that happens.

I'm pretty sure.

It seems likely that there's some kind of brain damage or something that can that might result from that.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that whatever effect it has on the body is not a good one.

Well, anytime that you've got in a movie or TV, someone passing out or getting knocked out, it's usually not that.

And, you know, they just go down.

Like, I've passed out when I had my mini heart attack.

And let me tell you, that was a woof.

That was a trip.

And apparently I was standing for much longer than I was awake

and wobbling.

So yeah, I didn't realize what was happening.

I was out of it when I went, oh, it's not going away.

Oh, it's getting worse.

That was the last thing I remember thinking.

But apparently it was enough that I bumbled around in the bathroom, knocked things over.

Someone came in, was like, Mark, you okay?

I looked at them and then I fell down.

That's passing.

That's what happens when you pass out.

That's a lot of actions to take without being conscious of them.

Are all those required?

Someone has to come in and say, Mark, are you okay?

Before you're allowed to pass out to any of us or just you?

I mean, me, I have the only sample size I have, really.

So I honestly, I couldn't tell you.

We'll do it again real quick.

Let's find out.

Oh, God, actually.

Don't do that.

It's actually not physiological.

It's the words.

If anyone can trick you into saying it to yourself, you pass right out.

Like, wait, Mark, are you okay?

Oh!

He might not be.

I don't know, Mark.

Are you okay?

Oh, man.

Felt a sharp pain right behind my eyes.

That's probably fine.

We'll just keep rolling and make sure we get it on video.

Yeah, I'm going to stand like this so you can tell if one side of my face starts drooping.

Jesus.

Just for my safety.

But actually, though, maybe don't do that again.

Yeah, don't do that.

Yeah.

Don't, don't, people, don't do that.

Don't make yourself pass out.

It's probably not very good for anyone.

If you remember when Eddie Hall lifted 500 kilograms, the deadlift, did you see that, Wade?

Oh, man, it's crazy.

Oh, listeners, I was shaking my head.

No, I just thought about it because the guy plays the mountain on, who did play the mountain on Game of Thrones, the third guy, Thor, half Thor Bjornsson, I think.

He just pulled 505, which oh, he beat it?

Yeah, he beat it.

Well, he had already beaten it by one, but it was kind of unofficial.

This was like at a sanctioned thing, weighed plates and everything, and he pulled 505, which you might be like, 505, 505 kilograms.

That's big.

how much even is that in pounds like at least 506

hey you're right on that one it's uh 1102.31 pounds i got 1113.33 what stupid conversion am i looking at oh it's close enough look who wants exact numbers well i didn't even hit enter it was actually the autofill thing that popped up so it may not have been right but either way my point is when eddie hall pulled it Like you have to squeeze every muscle in your body for a deadlift, pretty much.

So he's squeezing all the blood.

He gave himself a concussion from the force of him squeezing his blood into his head.

Like you saw as he lifted, before he even got to the top, blood was streaming out of his nose.

Like just

it was.

Jesus.

Yeah, he almost killed himself trying to lift 500.

It's crazy.

They go into like a fugue state.

The lifters who like set those records and stuff.

And then when they finish it or whatever, when they drop the weight, they just like

and crumple.

And it's really scary looking and crazy.

And he, even at the top, he was all like,

yeah, just

but he did it, he did it, he definitely did it.

He's really fucking strong.

I believed him before he did it, but now I extra believe him.

Meanwhile, I carry like four water bottles down to my office.

I got like between my fingers, and my fingers are starting to hurt from the corners of the water bottle.

And I get down, I sit them on my desk, and I'm like, Yeah, baby,

I got all four, one tramp.

Then you pass out.

We're not all built the same.

You could be.

You got the frame for it.

Wade's built different.

Not better, different, just different.

Dead lifting, no.

Lifting's dead to me.

But in a different life, Wade, you are like have the height, and I don't know what really else goes into it, but you could have been a strong man, I'm sure.

Okay.

No, that wasn't a discredit.

I don't know what else goes into it.

I mean, you kind of just need to have a big enough frame to carry enough muscle, right?

Like, there's an upper limit on how how tall and how broad you are.

Of like, eventually, it won't stack out anymore.

You just need more, I don't know, the technical parts of it, but I wonder what the ideal height for that is because, like, you look at some of the really tall people, like the Yao Mings and stuff, and they look really skinny for how tall they are.

How tall is Eddie Hall?

Uh, he's 6'2.

You're you're taller than him.

So, how tall is half Thor

6'9?

Is his name half Thor or like, why do you call him half Thor?

What's his name?

He came out and his parents were like, oh, he's Thor.

Oh, wait.

Oh, he's like half Thor.

Three-quarters Thor doesn't sound very good.

I'm just, is that such an interest?

Is he born and his parents named him half Thor?

It's just a name.

It's from a different country, man.

Yeah, it's not an English name.

Okay, well, I don't know, man.

I don't know these things.

He's got a name called Half Thor Bjornsson.

Do you think he's from Louisiana?

Where do you think he's from?

I don't know.

I know some Bjornssons growing up.

That's a strong Coloradan name, if I've ever heard one.

True that.

From the mountains.

It just, it sounds like a stage name, you know, like a wrestling name, like Half Thor.

Sorry, that's somehow offensive.

I'm not on your side.

I just think it's funny that you're still not letting it go.

And Mark looked it up and was like, yeah, his name is Half Thor.

And you're like, is it though?

Maybe his name was Steve Bjornsson at birth.

I don't know.

Mark, you know what?

Segway point for you.

We're not even getting it to it yet, but just you already got it.

God, I forgot you were even hosted, Bob.

We've been chatting.

I thought we were recording.

We haven't even gotten to small talk yet.

No, we jumped right in.

And you're right.

We usually do small talk.

Do you guys have any small talk?

I do,

kind of, but you know, I'll let Wade.

Well, that's so kind of you because I was definitely prepared for that.

The thing we've always done in every episode of the show that we've done several hundred times plus now.

You were prepared for it?

I got a small talk.

I'm fine.

Go ahead, John Travolta.

I saw movies recently.

I saw Fantastic Four.

I saw Superman.

I don't want to spoil anything, but I actually enjoyed them.

I heard there were no sky beams in Superman.

Skybeams?

It happens not exclusively in superhero movies, but it's like a lot of sci-fi and supernatural stuff.

When something so powerful happens when someone is like summoning or big or whatever and then it just goes goosh and there's like a laser into the sky and it evaporates the clouds and that whole Apparently, this is the first Superman movie not to have sky beams in some amount of time.

There's some horizontal action.

There's not a vertical beam.

That sounds weird out of my mouth, but that.

I like it.

I like it.

Sounds good in my ears.

I like it a lot.

Good.

That's what I was intending.

Well, yeah, I mean, I've heard good things about Superman.

I've heard nothing about Fantastic Four.

I don't know.

I feel like there was a collective agreement because I saw people posting about Fantastic Four right when it came out.

They were like, Oh man,

but then like I went and saw it like two days after I saw it.

Their posts were like, All right, now that some time's passed, yeah, it was good.

But I feel like when it first came out, everyone was just like collectively, let's either not talk about it or lie about it.

I thought it was solid, I thought Fantastic Four was solid.

Superman, I think James Gunn directed Superman, so it has a lot of like the Ragnarok/slash Guardians vibes to it, which is very different than like the DC Superman movie.

But if you enjoy that vibe,

he didn't make Ragnarok, Gunn didn't direct Ragnarok, no,

Sorry.

It was

Tika Waititi, what was his name?

Oh,

yeah, Tycho.

Tycho Waititi.

What's his first name?

That's weird because it has like Ragnarok has the same kind of Guardians vibes, though, doesn't it?

No, he did the Guardians of the Galaxy for sure, but not Ragnarok.

Yeah.

Okay, well, Ragnarok still has a similar vibe to the Guardians movie.

That's why I thought it was Gunn.

Because it's a lot more like lighthearted, silly, and musical.

That's also Tycho Waititi did.

His project just before that, I I believe, was a

Hitler movie where a kid had an imaginary friend who was Hitler.

No, JoJo Rabbit was actually really

good, movie.

It was actually really good, yeah.

I heard it was good.

Yeah, my description of it sounds worse than it is, but it's like, that is actually.

I've seen one thing about that movie, and it was a major spoiler, I'm pretty sure.

Well, I mean, it came out in 2019, so I think the Nazis lose

is imaginary.

I got to go back to Vegas and change my bet.

That would be such a funny sports book.

Like, hey, you want to bet on the outcome of World War II?

Take it all, bets.

If it doesn't change the next three years, you win.

We'll let you know what happened.

But yeah, well, anyway, it has that kind of vibe to it, I guess, which is different for Superman.

But I enjoyed it.

And Fantastic Four was just a really solid, good Marvel movie.

I have to say,

when I saw stuff coming about, like, ooh, there's a new Fantastic Four movie, I thought it was AI generated at first because I was like, why would there be a new Fantastic Four movie of exactly the same one it was previously?

But then I remembered

that's how they do that.

I didn't know there was a 2015 one.

I knew about like the early 2000s one, but I didn't know about the one that came out like 10 years ago.

Oh, yeah.

You didn't see the 2015?

No.

With old, what's his face?

Is Dr.

Incredible?

What's his name?

Mr.

Super Duper?

You're really close.

Stretchy McGee.

What's that guy's name?

Yeah, he got it.

He got it, everybody.

Oh, stretch pants.

Oh, yes.

The Fantastic Four with Dr.

Incredible.

Yeah, who was that?

Isn't John Krasinski Mr.

Fantastic in

the multiverse or something?

No, no, that was in his cameo.

Yeah, he does like a cameo in one of the other movies.

2015 Fantastic Form has 9% on Ron Domatoes.

That's not.

Oh, it's got the...

Oh, what's her name?

Her last name is Mara.

Rooney Mara?

Or is it her sister?

I didn't realize.

And it has Miles Teller as Mr.

Fantastic.

I think Tate Mara was the same one that was in House of Cards, right?

It's Michael B.

Jordan as the...

All right, I didn't remember this one either.

It's Michael B.

Jordan as the human torch and Miles Teller as Mr.

Fantastic.

I saw this on a plane, and I got to tell you, on a plane, you know, you don't have many options.

I didn't finish it.

I actually stopped watching it on a plane.

That's a scathing review.

I've done that before, too.

Tracked on a plane with a movie on in front of me.

I was like, oh, this is bad enough.

I'm just going to sit here in silence.

I was captured and being tortured.

I could either have my finger and toenails removed or finish this movie.

I didn't finish the movie.

I mean, I was kind of embarrassed watching it because, you know, Amy, I think, was next to me, I believe.

No, 2015.

You're like, God, I hope no one sees this on my screen.

Oh, what if they recognize me?

They'll tweet about it.

Oh, God.

Then people will know.

They'll think I like it.

But, I mean, yeah, that actually was kind of it.

I didn't want anyone to be subjected to it.

Because, you know, if someone's watching a movie next to you or across the aisle, I'm also watching that movie just without audio.

And honestly, I've watched more movies on planes like that than actually listening to it.

So, uh, you know, what happened to me in the same vein once?

I felt really uncomfortable about it.

I forget what it was, but I was watching some movie on an airplane on the seat in front of me, and it was something that had a fair amount of like violence.

And also at one point, there were just like there's some nudity.

It was just like there were some boobs on screen or something, right?

There was top, top nudity of I forget what the movie even was, but I'm just sitting here watching it, and then it gets to like the nudity scene, and there's just like a half-naked woman, like doing whatever.

And the scene goes on for a minute, and right in the middle of it, I'm like,

Other people can see this.

And I like looked around, and there were like little kids a few rows back.

And I was literally just like, oh, John, turn it off.

Oh, I'll play cartoons the rest of the trip.

I'm so sorry.

Like, it didn't occur to me.

Because, yeah,

I look at other people's screens, obviously, when it's not much going on.

And then I just had like a panic attack.

Yeah, anyone out there that is like, have ever said, had someone say to them or then thought, no one cares what I'm watching?

No, I'm watching what you're watching.

And I am judging you, but I'm also watching, so I won't say anything.

But I'm watching.

It's the worst when you're watching someone else's thing and then they like reposition and block the screen and you're like, oh, fall.

Come on.

We're like, the movie's almost over.

Come on, now I gotta pull it up.

Yeah, I'm not gonna pull it up on mine and like fast forward to the spot we were at and plug in my headphones or something.

Like, fuck.

I've had that feeling on a plane where it's like you're watching something, it's like, oh dear God, I hope no one's looking at this scene.

But do you turn it off, or do you just keep watching and be like, don't look, don't look, don't look.

I keep watching.

I'm too, I'm not gonna, I'm this far into it.

I'm not gonna change now.

Speaking of Fantastic Four,

their

popcorn bucket set a world record for the Fantastic Four movie.

Hottest popcorn?

What's the record?

I read the full title of this article is Marvel's $80 Popcorn Bucket Sets World Record, and I was like, oh God, the world record must be how fucking expensive that is.

It's just popcorn inside.

It doesn't have cocaine sprinkled on it or something.

It's a full galactus head with glowing eyes.

So it's not just a plastic tub, but it's not $80,

but it also, the record it set was it's the biggest commemorative popcorn bucket so whatever whatever people decide it's worth the 80s they're sitting watching a movie just like i love this popcorn

i'm glad i didn't even see that prior because i i know i saw like almost none of the advertising so i didn't even know this dude was in it galactus galactus the fantastic four villain once i watched it i knew he was in it I was trying to avoid spoiling that, but I guess if the popcorn bucket is him, then that's been revealed.

Yeah, I don't think that was a secret at all.

You know, i i i saw that silver surfer was a lady and i'm not a comic guy but i'm willing to bet everyone was totally cool with that that there was no arguments and all was well i'm not a big comic guy and i thought she did a good job and it was fine but uh maybe maybe i don't think that

Yeah, appeal to them.

Yeah, appeal to them.

You're surrounded by 20 people whose opinion you need to sway.

No, it was, she did a great job.

Like, Like, everything was solid.

I had no issues with any of it, but there are, what is it?

They call themselves the comic book purists.

Historical accuracy, you son of a bitch.

I might have just made that term up and assigned it to them, but that's what they call themselves.

I'm sure that there are people that are like, yeah, comic book purists, but I also know that comic books change every fucking time they relaunch it.

Not the original.

They're purists of the pure.

Yeah,

if you're a purist, you know which one is the correct one, and that's the only one that you care about accuracy for.

You ignore the rest of them.

Unless they're fighting another character from another universe, then they're their most powerful version, and that's the canon one, period.

Oh, wait, there's a wait, sorry, this is so funny.

There's a silver surfer variant called Silver Surfer Black, and you know it's called that because they didn't want to call them Black Surfer.

Yeah, well, I think that might have been the right choice, probably, given the way the internet functions.

Sorry, I'm just wait, hold on.

I'm just going to show you.

I'm not sure if this is that comic.

I'll share some real quick.

I just, I went to click the first link I saw about it.

God damn.

What an angle.

Jesus.

For us listeners at home, it's, I believe, the Silver Surfer, or it might be Dr.

Manhattan from The Watchmen, but it is about 180 degrees below the top of their head which means that we're absolutely looking straight up the taint look at the app there's abs and then there's side abs side abs yeah there's two rows of side abs wow my armpit abs oh he has four fingers his pinky's just doing the thing where it's like way the shit down okay weird are they walking is this a kick why are they making that face why are there pac-man ghosts in the background behind them?

Who could tell?

That was my favorite scene in the movie.

I loved the Silver Taint scene.

Gun actually used that shot a lot.

The Gooch shot was

a big innovation in this Fantastic Four movie.

Anyway, good small talk wave.

I didn't even get it.

Oh.

Yeah, I was just giving Setting Markup.

How are you doing, bud?

Oh, good.

I don't know what happened in the past few days, but you know how my news source, which is a a mystery and no one will ever know, has been dry, dry as a bone.

An incredible slew of news has poured out of

the weekend.

There was the Oklahoma Board of Education meeting where

nude women just suddenly started appearing on the TV in the office while the meeting was taking place.

I heard about this.

That was interesting.

Wasn't one of the board members or the sub-president or something like watching porn and that's why that happened?

I thought I heard that that story.

I thought I heard a story about during a meeting, a member of a school board or whatever was like watching porn, and then something like that happened where everyone was like, Hey,

hey.

I've the article here just says, Walters, who is running the meeting and the guy who wants to put Bibles in every classroom, and whose office is now pumping out official press releases with gloriously deranged headlines like response to the most absurd, false, and gutter political attack from a desperate, failing establishment.

I'm pretty sure he was in charge of the meeting, so I'm not sure who he's talking to.

Any suggestion that a device of mine was used to stream inappropriate content on the television set is categorically false.

I have no knowledge of what was on the TV screen during the alleged incident.

The alleged incident, and there is absolutely no truth to any implications of wrongdoing.

So yeah, he was watching porn.

Allegedly.

Allegedly, there was a meeting that he was allegedly in charge of.

There were allegedly naked women on an alleged TV.

I love this.

I don't know.

I think this is the same story.

This is another board member who was apparently dealing with some parents discussing an issue with them and

saw the video in

this guy's office on the TV screen and describes it as containing or featuring multiple nude women and some sort of chiropractic table.

That is a really great description.

Thank you.

I'm glad that we know that now.

He comes out to the meeting, full gimp suit.

I don't know what you all are accusing me of.

Told you I needed 15.

This is my cycling uniform.

I stay healthy.

The zippers are for wind resistance.

Chuck E.

Cheese was arrested in Florida.

No, Chuck.

Florida mouse.

Strikes again.

Like, full on.

Let me show you the picture because

you're going to want to see this.

It's just him i hope it's just chuck e cheese behind bars like still full costume or animatronic or real mouse

oh no

okay

he looks like such a punk that poor officer's face he's arresting his childhood idol i love that they got the slogan where a kid can be a kid right above

Now, he was arrested, just so everyone knows, for,

I believe it was credit card fraud.

So it wasn't for inappropriate behavior.

He wasn't streaming nude women to the Chuck E.

Cheese TV.

And they still haven't arrested him for the combining old pizzas into new pizzas scandal.

Unbelievable.

They wouldn't do that, would they?

Categorically not, according to the statements released by Chuck E.

Cheese.

Alleged pizzas.

It's just a conspiracy.

And then I got one last thing that I'll throw out there real quick, and then I swear you can get on with your episode.

Nah, I'll save that.

If we ever do another episode of this, I'll save it that.

Is there a chance we won't?

We should, we should like make this a real thing.

I think we should keep, I think we should kind of, there might be some potential here.

It's a lot, honestly.

Like, I'm we're not, we're not even, I mean, maybe halfway in this one.

I'm pretty exhausted, but could probably find a way to do it, I guess.

For you, Mark.

Nah, I forget I say anything.

Anyway, bye.

Just roll, roll credits for two seconds.

We have credits,

Mark, you got like four segue points.

You can't even...

It's just starting off so uneven.

Is it the word alleged?

Is that what it is?

No.

Five segue points.

Keep guessing, though.

Maybe I'll give you some more segue points.

Oh, God.

Is it Golf Rules Day?

Oh, no.

This episode is brought to you by McAfee.

We all spend a lot of time online, obviously.

Yeah, we basically don't leave the internet ever.

Gaming, shopping, working, living, breathing.

Oh, well, whatever you do online, you can keep it safe with McAfee.

That's award-winning protections with secure VPN, scam detector, antivirus comprehensive identity theft protection, and more.

Plans start just $39.99 for your first year.

Find out more at McAfee.com/slash distractible.

Cancel anytime, terms apply.

Don't you want to have Max?

Cooper loves that shoe, too.

Oh, now he's into Cooper's food.

Wow, he is loving it.

What do you feed Cooper?

Blue Buffalo life protection formula.

He never leaves a crumb.

I love it because it's made with high-quality protein, nutrient-rich fruits and veggies, and wholesome whole grains.

Looks like we're switching to blue.

Blue Buffalo foods are made with the superior ingredients your dog needs to thrive.

Can your dog food say that?

Visit feedbluefood.com to learn more.

This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money.

What do you guys think of when people say financial knowledge?

Money, holding money, touching money, and then letting money go.

Does it come back?

If you let it go, will it come back to you if it loves you?

No.

Interesting.

I think of like stock markets and investment opportunities, portfolios, retirements.

But it doesn't have to be complicated or weird.

Good financial knowledge is knowing that you've got more money coming out than going in.

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that shows you all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you forgot about.

Oh, I just downloaded it.

Their dashboard lays out your total financial picture, including bill due dates and paydays.

I can automatically create custom budgets.

Editors put it in my hand.

Go to rocketmoney.com slash distractible today.

That's R-O-C-K-E-T-M-O-N-E-Y.com slash D-I-S-T-R-A-C-T-I-B-L-E.

Rocketmoney.com slash distractible.

Well, you guys want to play a game?

How easy is it?

I found an article.

I feel like that comes up a lot on the show, but I found an article and I thought it was funny and I had an idea.

You guys are going to try to guess how many, how much, how far, how long

different Guinness World Records are for.

I have a list of some kind of funny and some kind of fascinating Guinness World Records.

And I'm going to, you guys are just going to try and guess how

long can someone hold their breath?

How many plates can you balance on the tip of your penis?

Whatever.

I was going to say, we've done a Guinness episode, but not like this.

Tip of their penis?

I don't know if that's in here.

We'll get to that later.

Are you supposed to tip a penis?

Like, how much?

30%?

Depends on how good it was.

This is why I like European penises.

No tips.

Oh!

That sounds really bad.

Are you sure it sounds bad?

I don't know.

Cut them off at birth.

No tips.

Well, that's America, so that's just a Lincoln log.

Ew.

Ew, but funny, but you.

I can't decide.

So both.

You get both.

Hey, baby, I'm stumped.

You got me stumped up.

Stop.

I'll give you a point to stop.

You never have that thought again.

I'll give you a point for that.

Just building off what he said.

I'm going to roll a D20.

Whoever the number looks more like is going to go first.

I hope it's not a hairy one.

It's a six.

Oh, it's definitely Mark.

Sorry.

Mark didn't even play the game.

I watched him just and I was like, you know, I don't know what looks like a six, but I can't do better than that.

Oh, wait, I forgot.

You don't know your numbers.

I'm sorry.

That was pretty.

Yeah, you'll get it.

It's fine.

I only know sevens and nines.

It's like beating a toddler, but you know, it's all right.

A win's a win, you know?

A win's a win.

All right, Mark.

I mean, it doesn't doesn't really matter if you get to go first, I guess, that much.

Okay, well, it's still come on.

The longest, the world, the Guinness World Record for the longest time, holding your breath voluntarily.

I'll tell you who did it: Budimir Shobat of Croatia.

Budimir?

Yeah, old Booty.

Booty did that?

Booty Bo Booty.

Hey, Siri, call Booty.

I just revealed side chicks for people listening everywhere.

Oh, well, that's going to be a couple complicated conversations.

Anyway, how long did old Booty hold his breath for?

If he was born somewhere else, they would have called him half-ass.

I'm going to give you a point for that, even though I didn't laugh because it was funny.

I was just mid-sentence.

Give him half a point.

Half a point.

I spent this full 20 seconds deciding whether I should make the joke or not, and then I decided I had to.

Is this above water?

Is

this on land?

What the fuck?

Is this

basically this.

Are you asking if this person was submerged in water or not?

Yeah, is it underwater or out of not underwater?

I think they're just like sitting in a chair holding their breath.

This is not like swimming, holding their breath or anything.

If it's submerged, is it supermerged to be above water?

Isn't it emerged?

Was this emerged or submerged?

Well, I guess emerging is the verb.

So you're submerged, then you emerge.

What's the opposite of sub?

I thought it was super.

Like superscript, subscript, superscript.

Airplane is the opposite of submarine.

Dom.

Dom merged.

Dom merged, yeah.

Was it submerged or dom merged?

It was dom merged, yeah.

I'm glad we're back to the gip suit.

What was the answer?

Was he dom or sub?

Dom.

Dom.

He said that.

He hasn't said it.

You said what?

He did say it.

But you just said he didn't say it.

Then he said it.

And you're like, oh, so he said it.

No, I said he did say it.

I said he just said it.

I didn't say he didn't say it.

I don't believe you.

What's wrong with your ears?

Everyone calm down.

It was Dom merch, and I haven't said how long yet.

But it's surprisingly long.

Just like me.

I love you.

Well, either show or tell, I guess, Mark.

You have been asked.

I'm going to go with like 30 seems too long, but it's probably like crazy like that.

20.

20 minutes.

20 minutes.

When was this set?

This happened in 2021.

Yeah, I guess the advantage would be to go second.

Am I not?

I guess I'm not right.

I guess I'm very wrong.

We're doing like price is right rules.

Oh,

so the first person gets to go first and sort of set the bar, but then

if I say 1959, it'd be a real douchebag, but man, I'd have those entire 20 minutes to live with.

I'm trying to remember, like, I remember some magic shows where they're like, oh, he held his breath for like six minutes and it was crazy or something.

So I'm going to go like 12 minutes.

12 minutes does sound like a lot.

That feels like a really long fucking time to hold your breath.

Sounds like a lot.

Yeah, maybe 20 was too hard.

Old Booty held his breath for 24 minutes, 37.36 seconds.

How is he not dead?

24 minutes?

I don't know.

That's a long time to not add any new oxygen to the system.

This dude must have unreal like breath capacity and red blood cell efficiency.

Or God, I don't even know how it works.

It doesn't say that he died, it says that he did this and survived.

So you should call him Trilung.

I can't imagine doing a plank for longer than a minute.

Oh, God.

A 24-minute plank.

How big is your pirate ship?

We're on something else today, aren't we?

In 2001, Ismail Rivas Falcone from Spain pulled a train over 10 meters using his beard.

What record-setting weight was the train that Ishmael pulled with his beard?

I'm guessing the train's on a track and he's pulling it down a track.

Yeah, it's like a track, like a, it's not, he has no assistance with the moving, but it's like a normal train that's like rolling on a track.

And how much does his beard weigh?

What was the question?

How much did the train weigh?

I don't fucking know how much a train weighs.

Kind of Monty Python-esque question is this.

African or European train.

Twain.

Twain.

I think it was probably a Spanish train.

It was a 10-ton train.

I like the alliteration.

10 tons of train.

Metric tons or imperial tons?

What's the difference?

I'm not sure.

A ton is 2,000 pounds.

It's a metric ton.

A metric ton is 1,000 kilograms, which is approximately 2,204 pounds.

So a metric ton is slightly more.

So what'd you say?

10 tons?

10 tons.

Got it.

10 tons.

So that would be 20,000 pounds.

I feel like trains are probably heavier, but I don't know how many cars were part of it.

Was it just the engine?

But the engine is the heaviest train part.

The thing that gets tricky is the fact that it's already like on a track and stuff, which I just can't believe his beard didn't rip out.

Yeah, the one time he fails will not be pretty.

They kept adding more cars until the beard came all the way off, and then he immediately just got medical attention.

Okay, I've definitely seen people pull like a plane.

I mean, planes are big, but planes are not so heavy.

Because planes are made to be light, even though they're big, right?

Yeah, but I'm pretty sure it still is crazy heavy because it's just a big hunk of metal, even if it's hollow.

That's a lot of metal and the wings and if you can pull that it's not the beard mind you yeah that's the part that gets me is like i can see you pulling more with it like on a train track but with your beard i just have no idea how much a train weighs that's the thing i know okay i'm gonna i'm gonna look at is it just one car or is it can you tell us if it's the engine or not it was more than just one car

oh fuck oh my god so it's got to be it's got to be a lot then this has to actually be stupid high because I could believe like one car would weigh 10 tons.

But if it's the engine plus, it's got to be like 50 tons.

Are we doing this in tons?

Do we have to do this in tons?

We're doing it in tons.

50 tons.

All right.

100,000.

100,000 pound.

Okay.

I feel really bad because I just actually looked at a picture of this.

Oh no.

It's a Fisher Price train.

And this is the most misleading.

This is the most misleading jet I've ever seen.

That's so funny.

What did you do to me?

Can we see the picture?

Yeah, I'll share the picture.

50 shots.

That's a picture of him breaking the record.

Wait a minute.

I feel like we were both missing.

This is a car.

We're doing a train cosplay.

All I had was words.

All it says is it's a train.

It's the heaviest train pulled by a beard, okay?

For anyone who's not watching, it's one of those trains that they drive around inside the mall.

It's literally a kid's train that's designed for giving joyrides at like a car elbow or something.

It's just it just is like a little golf cart that pulls tiny little train things behind it.

Admittedly, pulling that with your beard is impressive.

I mean, it still looks cool, right?

Look, he's got it.

It's attached to his beard.

Look at that.

Wow.

I will concede that if you were to describe what he's pulling, it's a train with...

It is multiple cars, but I really only see one behind it.

So you really tricked me.

It's a car.

And there's multiple.

Hey, there's people on it.

I didn't even tell you there were people on the train.

Plot twist, it's still 50 tons.

Yeah, well, I got bad news about that, too.

Uh, uh-oh.

I'm guessing it's not even 10.

The train weighed, I'll do it in tons for you, 2.75 metric tons.

Weight metric!

We were imperial tons!

All right, whatever.

It weighed 2.

slightly less tons.

It was like 6,000 some pounds, 6,069 pounds.

You know, if you'd have told me he pulled a car, I still wouldn't have gotten it right because I've been like, what does a car weigh?

10,000 pounds?

Now I'm scared about the rest of these because I did, I have words and I was like, nah, these must be accurate descriptions, right?

It says he pulled a train.

Mark and I are picturing like the biggest fucking train in existence.

And I'm like, man.

Yeah.

I had Eddie Hall in my head.

I'm like, man, this must be some beard.

It must be some guy.

I know.

All right.

Hey, you know what?

The next one will be a thing that none of us have done, but we know something about.

All All right.

We're funny guys.

We do.

This is a comedy show.

We're not stand-up comedians, but we know some things.

Right.

So, Mark, tell me, how long do you think David Scott from the United States stage name The Midnight Swinger had to perform stand-up comedy to set the Guinness World Record for the longest stand-up comedy show by one person?

Do people have to keep laughing?

I don't think there was any requirement of even people watching.

It could have been this dude alone on a stage with a Guinness World Records person just there, making sure he was making jokes.

Mr.

Damien Jernine Food.

Either the Guinness records keeper there had the greatest time of their life and was just rolling for however many hours, or that was the toughest thing.

Does it have to be original material?

That's the question.

So it's not super clear if he was allowed to like repeat material.

I would assume that the point is you can't just say the same joke over and over until you pass out.

God, imagine 24 hours of that.

He could have like written down in memory.

I'm guessing he had to memorize.

Guys, breaking news.

On April 25th of this year, this record was broken by, what's his name?

Benny Elbows.

So we're now, we're talking about a different number now.

Benny Elbows holds this record, okay?

I just want you to know.

How many years between breaking it?

Uh, the one I have was set in 2013, and on April 25th, 2025, Benny Elbows snatched the record.

It took 12 years to break this.

He wasn't waiting for the guy to finish his set, don't worry.

Did he have to

and just stand on the edge of the stage for 12 years?

Like, come on, they're giving you the signal.

Wrap it up.

Flashing light means you're done.

Do you know any of the contrace did have to be memorized?

Or could he, was he allowed to have like it written the jokes written out?

Anything like that?

There were no constraints about like, because obviously stand-ups do that where they have notes and stuff on stage.

I feel like that's normal.

The thing was, couldn't leave the stage, couldn't stop, had to continue to like banter and make jokes.

And it's not specific, but I have to assume it had to be at least relatively unique jokes.

Like maybe it was just doing observation humor about whatever shit he thought about or whatever.

But he was on stage for this this amount of time, and at no point did he stop for long enough that, like, the person judging felt like he stopped doing stand-up comedy.

Okay.

Man, that poor judge.

Alone with a judge, just stone-faced for months listening to this stand-up.

Okay, so they've done like dancing records.

Not that I know what those are, but I know they're long.

People have done marathon streams, you know, for more than 24 hours.

I'm guessing it's more than 24 hours.

I'll give you that.

It's more than 24 hours.

All right, I'll take it.

All right.

Both of you can have that.

Wade, you're allowed to have that knowledge.

Thank you.

Probably wasn't two days because it is still an energy-intensive thing.

So I'm going to split the middle and go with 36 hours.

Wade?

54 hours and 30 minutes.

I love your optimism, Wade.

On April 25th, 2025, good old Benny Elbows broke the record by doing stand-up alone on stage for 40 hours and 16 minutes and 48 seconds by himself.

Wait, what?

With no breaks or no.

What did we say?

He said 56 hours.

I said 54 hours and 30 minutes.

He said way too many.

Ah, hell yeah.

Okay, so I actually was close.

I thought I was going to be way off.

But we could beat that record.

Give me a stage.

Flash a light of me.

I got this.

I actually 100% believe that you could break that record.

Given some time to work up some material and have some ideas, I could see you talking for 48 straight hours on the stage, even if no one was there.

You would just like happily...

You could talk.

But you can't take a bathroom break.

You can't take a...

I wonder if you like had a diaper on or had like a catheter put in or something.

I always think like they must have something like that.

That's too long to go without actually physically.

peeing, right?

Like you can't do.

It does mean no eating, no sleeping, no pissing, no shitting.

You can have like a snack.

As long as you can make a joke while you're doing it, I'm sure it's fine.

I just want, I can't wait till that special comes out on Netflix, you know.

Yeah, I can't believe the uh, the midnight swinger got knocked off by Benny's elbows.

I know, Benny Elbows took out the midnight swinger in a classic stand-up showdown.

Good man, Mark's killing it.

I knew you'd be good at this one, Mark.

I'm killing it too, right?

Okay, Wade, you get to go first on this one.

Longest bout of hiccups, Charles Osborne of the United States,

triggered a bout of hiccups while lifting a hog to try and weigh it on a scale.

Started having hiccups, and they lasted for quite a while.

How long did they last?

And I'll give you a hint on this one.

We're going for a number of years here.

It is measured.

This record is measured in years.

Because I remember here, there's people like can't stop hiccuping, aren't they?

This is not anything where like he had a disease or a condition that caused him to have hiccups.

This was a, as far as I could tell, and it's Guinness, so sure they checked really thoroughly.

This is just like a bout of hiccups that he got, and they lasted, and they ended not with him dying, but they just ended on their own, and he stopped having hiccups.

Coincidentally, his favorite brand of music is hiccog.

I don't know what that is.

I'm confused.

Is what?

Say it again.

Louder.

Hick hog.

It was a hip-hop pun.

I like it less now.

Six years.

Six years.

All right.

Mark, what do we think?

Have they figured out why you get hiccups?

I don't actually know that.

Irritated diaphragm, nervous system disorder, metabolic imbalances like low electrolytes, low calcium or magnesium levels, medications can cause it, and gastrointestinal issues like gastritis, GERD, esophageal cancer, other things that would affect your diaphragm in ways.

also can be caused by emotional stress like anxiety or intense excitement.

Yeah,

lots of animals get it, though.

So I wouldn't think it would be a disorder.

I mean, almost all animals get it.

Anyway, it's a topic for another day.

When was this record set?

The record was officially set and recorded in 1990.

I believe he's still hiccuping to this day.

35

years.

Well, the record was set when his hiccups ended, just to be clear.

God damn it, fuck me.

You can still guess 35 years.

It just stretches the other

I thought I was being so clever.

I thought I was really

sussing that one out.

You know what, Mark?

You were being clever.

Charles Osborne contracted his bout of hiccups in 1922.

Oh, okay.

Hiccuped

for 68 years.

Holy shit.

I said six.

You did.

Six was in there.

You're right, buddy.

The T8 was implied.

In 1990, his hiccups went away and that's when the record was set at 68 years of hiccups damn that would suck yeah that would suck well i guess he get used to it he i like the i like the color commentary on this in that time while he had hiccups he got married had a family, watched his kids grow up, watched them have grandkids, and then was an elderly man when he stopped having hiccups in 1990.

He lived his whole life.

Everything important that happened to him, probably mostly, except for the pig part before the hiccups.

He had those hiccups.

I guess sex with hiccups could add some like interesting moments.

It's very surprising.

I do wonder.

No, it wouldn't have anything to do with like Tourette's or something like that because it can't be a disorder because every animal has it, right?

You ever seen a squirrel with Tourette's?

Sorry.

That's offensive.

That's offensive.

You can't make those kills.

It probably is.

I'm sorry.

I guarantee you that's probably really funny to anyone with Tourette's.

I don't have Tourette's and I'm not speaking for them.

We can ask someone with Tourette's, but I'm pretty sure they might say that that was really funny.

If you're out there on the Reddit, if you happen to have,

let me know.

I read all of the comments.

Or if you're a squirrel.

Dude, if there's squirrels out there on the separate it, I want to meet them.

I don't know if I've seen, I guess I've seen a dog with hiccups.

I'm trying to think of animals I've seen with hiccups.

I've seen dogs.

I've definitely seen like bigger animals.

I feel like I've seen a cow have hiccups.

Cats have had cats.

I think I've seen a cat have hiccups.

Yeah, probably.

Especially like kittens or something.

I believe that it's not like tourets.

So I had another point to make while I was saying that.

It's gone.

It's completely out.

We're solving the mysteries of hiccups on this episode or something.

Anyway, Mark, you get to go first on this one.

That one took a long time.

So let's go for a speed one.

Les Stewart of Australia set this record.

Les typed numbers from one to one million out on a computer keyboard.

The words, not the numbers.

So like one, O N E, two, TWO, one to one million.

Set the speed record.

Fastest time ever to type all the words from one to one million.

How fast did Les Stewart type one to one million?

Okay, so he had to write like 100,000 da-da-da.

So this is more than a million words he's writing.

Way more.

Oh, it's an ungodly amount of words to be typing out.

I can't do math that high.

It was a speed record, though.

This must have happened quickly, right?

Yeah, but if I was going to go based on like average words per minute that you could type, but I don't know how many words that is.

It would probably take so long that he would have to sleep.

I hope that that's true, given what this record is.

Yes, I think that's almost definitely true.

If you were doing 50 words per minute, like average.

And I would say, I would hope he was a more above average typer.

So I don't know where that falls, but like 100 to 130 is like fast, like really good.

At least by the time he's halfway through this, he's going to be fast anyway, right?

Man, those hyphens, those hyphens would get you if he had to put those in.

So, let's say I would like to think he was fast, but you can't keep that up forever.

I get tired typing.

So, let me just round it to 100.

If you were doing a million, that would be 10,000 minutes, but it's more than a million.

How many hours is 10,000?

Can I get my answer in minutes?

Sure, sure, sure.

Okay, 10,000 minutes would be a million words.

It's probably way, way, way, way more than that.

100,000 minutes.

How many days is that?

Hey, nice.

69 days.

69.4 repeating days, but 69 days.

Nice.

Yeah.

All right, Wade.

How fast do you think less, old less typed one to one million out in words?

I mean, he has to be basically doing only this all day, right?

You're going for the record.

It's like you're doing this all day.

12 days.

And Mark's official guess was 69 days.

I mean, Wade, my math was sound.

It was good math.

Work did math, okay?

He did a lot of math.

I'll give you the answer.

It's 16

years.

What?

16 years?

So I will say I may have misled you.

Apparently it was on a typewriter, not on a computer.

I saw a picture that I think was not of him.

It was like a stock photo of a person typing on a computer.

It was in

1982, Les started typing out all of these numbers on a typewriter.

But that also makes sense because that means there's an official record of it, right?

He has all of these pages.

They're not saved somewhere digitally.

They exist.

They are typewritered out.

And over the course of 16 years until December 7th, 1998, he just worked at it as much as he possibly could and successfully typed out all of the numbers one to one million in word form.

So no one was, no one else is attempting this, I'm guessing.

So he probably said it by default.

But there might be attempts in progress right now.

So I win again.

I win again.

Apparently, he was partially paralyzed after a tour of combat duty in Vietnam and did this with just one finger and had a lot of free time because he was a paralyzed veteran of Australia's armed forces or whatever.

And so he spent, he did not exclusively do this for 16 years, but he spent a lot of time doing this.

But he used one finger to type out.

I don't even know how many words that is, but it's got to be 100 million plus.

There is a picture of him,

if you would like to see, there's a picture of him sitting

in a pile of paper

that looks like this.

Holy shit.

Yeah, I feel like Typewriter and one finger would have adjusted our math a little.

And you also said, let's go for speed.

Anyway, I don't know why Mark's mad.

Mark got another point.

Oh, I'm not mad.

That was me.

Did it sound mad?

I wasn't mad.

No, I wasn't mad.

I wasn't mad at all.

Wait, you haven't got a single one of these.

Well, I, yeah, I had some assumptions going in that ended up being incorrect on the speed round.

Hey, so did Mark.

Listen, let's not discount how wrong Mark was, too.

It's true.

It's true.

This episode is brought to you by Degree.

Degree is for the hustlers who put in the sweat, which we know a thing or two about, for 35 years, 11 months, 28 days, and six hours, I didn't believe in deodorant.

But then, Degree came along.

If you can relate to three relatable guys like us, Degree Advance has you covered with up to 72-hour sweat and odor protection.

Degree, here for sweat.

Buy now.

This episode is brought to you by FXX and Hulu.

Futurama returns on September 15th.

I love the show.

It's a great show.

I'm excited for another season.

Anyway, the Planet Express crew is back defying gravity and common sense.

From the creator of The Simpsons, come 10 new episodes where the romance is hotter, the threats are bigger, and the action hits harder.

Don't miss the all-new season of Futurama returning September 15th at 8 p.m.

Watch it on FXX or stream it on Hulu.

I think we should do one final round that it turns out is worth.

Don't say it, it's fine.

Just let me lose.

Two points.

Three points.

We'll do three points.

Unfair.

Unfair.

All right.

I mean, I feel like this one, I feel like that's the most clear I could do.

Yeah, no.

Okay.

So I said this final round is worth three points.

So it's either going to be worth normal points or six points, I guess.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that has to be it.

Oh.

I got heads.

I got heads.

Tails.

Why are you sad?

You get it.

Oh, is that good for me?

It could be if you get it.

I was just hoping something funny would happen.

I met heads.

Ah, there he is.

There we go.

No, no, no, no.

All right.

This, like I said, this one is worth three points.

This record is for the most apples held in own mouth and then cut in half by chainsaw in one minute.

This is a person taking an apple and going

and then taking a chainsaw and going

and cutting the apple in half while holding it in their mouth.

Jesus.

And I have a picture and it's not a small chainsaw.

If you fuck this up, it's like you're done.

There's no practicing this.

Oh, no.

You don't want to go into this with no practice, Wade.

I swear to you.

Well, yeah, but I mean, like, you speed it up to the bad.

All right, yeah, so this is most apples hell in mouth and cut by chainsaw in one minute.

And I just want to say, I think I know exactly why this happened.

This record was set in November of 2020.

So this person was in the heart of COVID lockdowns, trapped in their house, trapped in their apartment, whatever, and was like, God, I'll do anything for a thrill.

And they landed on apples in mouth cut with chainsaw, obviously.

All right.

Well, I don't think many people are going to be trying to beat this record.

Who goes first?

I go first.

Wade, you go first.

For three points.

12.

I'm going to act this out.

Mark, do some science, Mark.

Do some science.

Do some science.

Yeah, no, no.

I got...

There's no better science than ExperiScience.

Recreate it for us.

And go.

Oh, I was thinking they had to put the whole thing in their mouth and then like half spit it out and cut it.

They just put it in solid, put it in salt.

Oh, that was a close one.

I'm scared.

I dropped it.

10

or something.

I don't know.

And then I'm going for it.

And now I'm speeding up because I'm hitting my rhythm.

13.

No.

14.

15.

16.

My clock went away.

Why'd my phone lock?

17.

18

19.

Okay, slowing down again, getting tired, getting scared.

I'm nervous because my hands are shaking because I might be in it.

Adrenaline, world records right there.

Everyone's watching.

Okay, there's 22.

I'll get one more.

23.

23.

And Wade was 12.

12.

Well, I'll let you have a look at the record holder for most apples cut.

Oh my God.

Yeah, look how big that chainsaw is.

I was thinking it'd be like one of those like six inch long chainsaws that you use to like cut a shrub.

This is not a like a big full-size crazy chainsaw, but that's over a foot of chainsaw blade, right?

He does have an assistant, so I didn't factor that.

I thought it was alone.

Being handed the apples, I guess.

I guess I was being pretty light with the chainsaw.

So yeah, I have no, I don't even really know how fast a chainsaw cuts through an apple.

I assume kind of fast.

About as fast as it'll cut through his face, which is fast.

Well, it was pretty fast because

Wang Li of China

cut a total of 28 apples.

Oh!

Mark, your science was so science-y, you almost got it dead on, which I didn't say anything, but I would have probably given you bonus points for.

Oh my god.

What a bunch of science you did there.

Anyway, because there is a limit.

There's a limit to how fast and

that was worth three points.

Wow.

Redoozies.

You know, the rarer unfair.

Oh, he called Redoozies.

Too late.

The ones per season unfair.

Redoozies.

Remember?

All right, delete the episode.

If it lands on ads, we delete it.

We're starting.

And we do it with the same questions.

I go first.

I'll still get them wrong.

And Mark was just all over this episode.

I was trying to cut stuff in your favor, Wade, but Mark got just, Mark couldn't segue hard enough into the topic of the episode and then didn't let you have but one of them.

The train one, the train one.

Didn't Mark get the train one?

No, I didn't, I didn't get the train one, I was way over.

I said 20 tons.

That's right.

Good job, Wade.

You did get one.

Thanks.

I'll do Wade's points first.

Wade,

you earn so many points for

saw movies, wind resistant skimp suit.

It's like a Lincoln log.

Half-assed joke.

Wanting to know how long Mark is.

Pirate ship joke.

Old Midnight Swiner.

You got half a point for the number six.

And you got the point for the train record.

In my brain, there's a point for Hickog, but that's fine.

Well, I like your brain.

That's a much better place for your score.

Mark, you earned points for

Eddie Hall.

A segue.

I didn't finish the movie.

Chuck H.

Cheese getting arrested.

Another segue.

Stop.

I gave you the point to stop.

And you did.

Dom merged.

Old Booty.

You got the

booty was the breath holding one.

You got the stand-up comedy record.

You got the hiccups record, 68 years of hiccups.

You got the typing numbers record.

And you got the Apple chainsaw record.

Leaving the point totals at Wade

with 8 and a half and Mark with 1013.

It is statistically improbable.

Goth rules.

Goth rules.

Yeah, I think golf rules and maybe a couple other things are basically your only shot here.

Golf rules and sudden death.

Unless you add minus five points to the wheel.

I mean,

we don't have a bankrupt, I suppose, but then it would have to be spun for a person, and we wouldn't be able to assign.

What's a good record?

Trying to think of like record-themed ones.

We already have the most points, that's already kind of a record-themed one.

First contestant to say my ass out loud.

Did we already do that, or we have to do it after it comes up?

It's a reaction one as it spins.

Once it's selected, and you can, there's no like starting point.

Oh, you have to have to say, My ass, my ass.

You have to say, my ass, my ass, my ass.

First one to say, my ass gets the point.

It's like you with the

squirrel with tourette squeak squeak

for the first time of almost ever it's not three spins it's one spin all right well so you're saying there's a chance i mean there's not not a chance i'm just gonna it's just gonna say say my ass on the wheel so we'll be like oh but

say my what and someone's gonna realize then it'll happen couple shuffles one spin for all the glory.

Come on, that's all I need is one.

I believe in you, Wayne.

Oh,

that feels a little bit like a slap in the face.

I'm not gonna lie.

Well, there wasn't a comeback.

Let's say that.

So yeah, there was no comeback.

So there was no respin.

I think respin.

Yes, yes, yes.

I think that is actually fair.

I won't argue.

I mean, I'm trying to be fair with you.

How many times is best looking gone?

Quite a few.

My hair has been.

Amy got me this new curl-activating leave-in conditioner.

Yeah, well, I showered last night, shaved my head last week.

I guess I haven't showered in a bit if that is the criteria because my hot water has been broken.

I even wore stripes today.

And if I learned one thing from Catch Me If You Can, it's that stripes are the way well pins.

I will say you look good.

You look good today.

You polished that.

So it's up to Bob.

Since it really doesn't matter, and it seems like you could use it, I'm going to give the point to Wade.

That's fair.

Okay, I don't like the criteria to led up to it, but I'll take the point.

You're aware of the situation, buddy.

You're welcome.

Since he looks like Ceciles.

Pretty much.

Yeah, that's basically what I'm saying.

That puts the final score at Wade with 9.5

and Mark with 13.

Thank you.

Congratulations, Mark.

Would you like to give your winner's speech?

I used my brain to deduce the answers here, which means that I don't even need to set records.

All I need to be able to do is guess records.

And I think that that is the moral of today.

So long as you put your mind to something, you'll figure it out.

A great moral from a great competitor.

The best competitor in this episode,

you might say.

Wade, loser your speech?

I had this loss coming.

I deserved it.

I realize now that karma was out for me ever since I made light of the name Halfthor.

I found some humor in it early on.

I shouldn't have.

I should have understood and respected rather than go in with the joke.

Sometimes you shouldn't go in with the joke, but I realized that mistake too late.

I take this L.

It is my cross to bear, and I deserve it.

Well deserved.

Thank you for your speeches.

Congratulations to Mark.

That means Mark's going to be hosting the next one, because that's how the show works.

Make sure you follow all of us.

Our names are on screen, but if you don't, cool enough to watch, it's Markipply, Lord Minion777, or Minion777, and MySkirm.

Make sure you follow the show on your favorite podcast platform of choice.

The video is available at Spotify and on YouTube.

But you can follow all the other podcast platforms where it's available for listening pleasures and so on and so forth.

I'm not going to say the thing.

I'm going to leave that be.

And we're just going to move right on to the end of the show where I say podcast out.

What is with this motion?

Youtine, adjective, used to describe an individual whose spirit is unyielding, unconstrained, one who navigates life on their own terms, effortlessly.

They do not always show up on time, but when they arrive, you notice an individual confident in their contradictions.

They know the rules, but behave as if they do not exist.

Mutine, team.

The new fragrance by Mew Mew.

Defined by you.