We've Never Done This Before

This episode is brought to you by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet.

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Smart speakers, smart mirror, smart toaster, smart coffee maker, smart shoes, smart carpet, everything.

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Good evening, gentle listeners and watchers, and welcome to Destractable.

This episode, brain-damaged Bob gets boned by the dock, then wants to get closer to the boys.

Monster Wild Wade ranks hard, has Sheeve as a shrink, and snaffles a shitkebab.

Mendacious Mark has amazing girth, but never finishes, and gets screwed by exchanges.

From suing over long ones to cooking.

Yes!

It's time for we've never done this before.

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Distractible.

That's right, you never had a choice to begin with.

No, we're not going to tackle the concept of free will today.

Yes, I knew you would be here.

No, I'm not going to tell you how I knew that.

Yes, I'm excited to see you on the next episode too.

Yeah, anyway, I'm your host for today.

My name is Bob.

And I'm the host because I won the last one.

I did win the last one, right?

Yeah, I think so.

I just started talking and then I blacked out.

I don't know what happened.

Did I say anything weird?

Uh, not as weird as me, apparently, or maybe weirder, depending on what gut points.

I don't know what did.

Yeah, anyway, this is a show where uh, I'm the host and the other two guys are competing, and whoever wins hosts the next one.

That's the way it works.

There are points, I have a scorecard, we write them down, or we suffer.

Okay, all right.

No one has opted to suffer, though.

He usually just finds something to write with and write.

Oh,

Sorry.

What?

He's suffering.

Put him out of his misery.

He chose to suffer.

He chose to suffer.

I got water on my poo.

He got food in my water.

Hey, it's pretty good.

I'm not doing this for points.

I'm just starving.

Oh, no.

Tyler got me the poo book, and I actually got water on my poo.

Does it turn back into poo if you get too much water on it?

I don't know.

I went to set my water down, and I don't know what happened, but I like, I became the Hulk for a second and squeezed really hard but then I also like pushed it as I did so I like squeezed it and threw it and just go ahead do your thing man

yeah I said how it works uh something winner host whatever how's it going gentlemen let's just jump right into small talk how's everybody doing weights covering poop or something I guess I could take it over while uh while he's dealing with whatever in the hell he's doing I'm doing good I'll give you a choice I could talk about my personal life or talk about this headline that's hilarious to me but probably not actually hilarious.

But it's intriguing.

I mean, I'd like to hear about your personal life, but the headline, you sold it so well.

Surgeons in India just successfully removed the legs and buttocks of a parasitic twin from the chest of a 17-year-old.

That is interesting.

I don't think the article is actually going to tell any more of the story than what the title is.

I think the entirety of it is right there.

Is this a really successful, odd operation?

How old?

It was a 17-year-old?

17-year-old who had a parasitic twin, which I believe is a case where the twin is partially absorbed, alive,

but yeah, partially there.

Like the cells were splitting when it was an embryo and it didn't split quite right in some place.

And then, you know.

It sounds like the 17-year-old is fine, hopefully, from the surgery.

And I'm sure they were okay beforehand, but that's going to be tough to live with.

I got to imagine.

I have no idea how big or small these things were, but that must just be kind of funky to live with.

Unless, because i i'm telling you the well is dry on news titles this season why where'd all the news go mark just nothing's happening everything's boring but there is one that i want to read because i feel like it's a it it's sort of a psa but sort of a like a common sense please texas official warns against measles parties as outbreak keeps growing I'm sorry, what is a measles party?

So I'm assuming that it's the same kind of idea as a chickenpox party, which also is not recommended anymore because there's a vaccine for that, just like there's a vaccine for measles.

But if you do have a child with measles, do not host a party where other children come and get exposed to the measles.

That's not how that one works.

Yeah, don't do that.

Yeah, don't do that.

Bob, when you asked, what is a measles party?

I thought of Weekend Update whenever Stefan used to be on there.

Like, what is a measles party?

The hottest club in New York is measles party they have

everything

god that was such a good bit dan cortez all right i got one last thing which is uh here indian man awarded damages over length of commercials before movie screening and i think this is interesting because the length of the trailers yeah he sued because he thought there were too many commercials yes and we're talking specifically about the trailers at this when the movie time starts which has been getting egregiously high.

Yeah, movies start like 10 to 15 minutes after their allotted time.

The scheduled movie in Bangalore said the movie ran for two hours and 25 minutes, which is on the longer side of movies.

It was due to start at 4.05 and due to finish at 6.30, but with over 30 minutes of time added in from trailers and advertisements, the man was late for work, which he was scheduled for at 6.30 when the film was supposed to end what does he work right outside the movie theater he watched it in that sounds a little bit like it's on him i don't know i have no idea but it's it is a weird amount of time that is dedicated towards these trailers and advertisements which is that is all they are their trailer and their advertisements for future movies which i like trailers yeah we always try to get there in time to watch all the trailers

yeah but it's too many it is too many i think nowadays uh they're usually about 20 to 25 minutes i would say in terms of trailers before the movie even begins.

And they are fun to watch, but if you go to see a lot of movies, you see a lot of the same ones many times.

I guess I just don't even get that because, I mean, you see a movie trailer, maybe you're going to see the movie, but like of all the trailers I've ever seen, there were only a handful where

I saw the trailer and I was like, whoa, I was unaware of that movie.

Now I'm going to go see that movie.

It's always like, oh, I'm not interested in this.

Oh, I'm not interested in this.

Oh, I really want to see this movie already.

Maybe, maybe it has more of an effect on other people, but that just seems kind of stupid to me.

You'd think they'd have to see good return on doing it or they wouldn't keep doing it.

But there are so many and they're long.

And when the movie time is supposed to start, the movie should start.

I feel like it would make more sense if the movie just started at the advertised time and the trailers ran before and you had to get there a little early if you wanted to see the trailers.

Because then it's like, you can't really be mad if you don't see the trailers.

But also then the movie happens at a time where you don't have to guess how long all of that aside this dude won money for this from in a court yeah he won uh the equivalent of uh

574 dollars which is not a ton of money a movie theater can definitely handle that loss uh but also some people were commenting why didn't he just leave the theater at 620.

You wouldn't finish the movie, I guess, but you can get a refund for a ticket if you really, really, really didn't like a movie.

I think you can still get a refund.

I mean, I guess I just find it hard to feel too bad for a guy who was going to see a movie that if it started exactly on time, still would have made him late for work if he stayed and watched the entire thing.

Like the argument that they play too many trailers, I'm totally on board with, but that's stupid.

Yeah, there is something about advertising a movie starting at four that doesn't start at four that seems wrong.

But him being like, I was late for work because of you.

It's like, I knew what time it was, and I chose not to leave.

And then I was late for work because I chose not to leave.

I also chose to watch a movie literally right before work.

Yeah,

only showing this century of this movie.

Look, I'm not saying that I haven't been there, but also that's pretty much on you.

You're going to make yourself late to work.

Well, not according to the law.

He won money.

I just feel like, I mean, I don't know anything about the court system in India.

It's similar to the court systems here.

Doesn't that creates a precedent of can't other people do that then?

Can I just pick a movie whose theoretic end time would have made me be able to leave and get somewhere else on time?

Then just watch the whole movie and then leave when it actually ends and then be like, hey, you owe me 600 bucks.

And then the court has to be like, yeah, well, we did it for that other guy.

So.

Yeah, it does open up the doors for a lot.

I'm not sure how the legal system goes over there, the same way as over here, but I assume it's similar, but I don't actually know.

Here's what they're going to do to change it: they're going to have the movie start time, still play all the trailers, but movie length, three question marks.

I think they should just stop playing anything once it hits the time when the movie was supposed to end.

And if it ends with half an hour left in the movie, so be it.

No, no, they hit the accelerator.

People don't have the attention span to watch it one X speed.

They got to do 1.5.

It's really got to speed up.

God, they adjust the whole movie to be like 1.1 speed, just the whole thing to make sure it fits.

Oh, no look i've uploaded entire video at the wrong aspect ratio out of a raw file that didn't even have audio i don't think anyone's gonna notice no no one cares i never knew brad pitt was so squeaky sounding they're all so busy looking at their phones they'll never notice anyway that's all i got for the news i didn't talk about my life at all but you know whatever that's fine you don't have to do that i mean i could but it's more of the same thing wade what's in your life Please, upstage Mark.

Well, you guys have heard about me reading animorphs.

You've heard about Pass of Exile 2.

You've heard me talk about Diablo 4.

You've heard me talk about storage hunting.

But have you heard me talk about Monster Hunter Wilds?

No, because it just came out.

Oh, it's so fun.

I've already put so many.

How much time have I put into it?

I've not had any time to play.

And yet, somehow, I already have.

Let's take a look.

22.8 hours.

Oh, that is a lot.

Yeah.

When did you start?

It came out on Friday.

Yeah, I saw on Twitter someone that already had 73 hours in the game, which is is exactly how much time it's been out.

So I'm like Hunter rank eight.

I've seen people that are like high rank 106 and stuff like that.

I've been playing a lot.

It's a lot of fun.

I feel like early on it feels easier than the other monster hunters, but some of the fights I've gotten to recently have been a bit tougher, which is good.

It's like a little bit more challenging, but not like impossible and annoying.

So I've been having a lot of fun with it.

I'm excited to get into the harder fights, but man, another game on Wade's playlist.

Yeah, how are you going to possibly grind Path of Exile 2 enough now that you also have Monster Hunter in your life?

I'll do what I always do.

Abandon the games I love before I finish them.

Ah, nice.

Because everyone loves when you don't finish what you start.

Is that a slight against me?

I feel like that's towards me.

That did somehow feel like a personal attack against Mark.

You edging me, man?

I'm edging, but that's not your...

That was an indictment on myself, not you.

My big thing is I never finish games that I start, except for like five times.

I've never finished once in my life.

Ever.

My man.

This is why we don't have children.

Hey, babe, you close?

Yeah.

All right.

See ya.

How are you going?

You don't really choke, man.

Hey, I'm happy to help.

The host doesn't always do small talk, but I've made a mistake, and I want to groan about it.

Groan away, man.

Mark has already told this story, so it's not that interesting.

But you remember, Mark, you remember, you remember when you needed a prior authorization for medicine?

Oh, no.

Yeah, our fucking insurance changed at the beginning of February.

This is going to air further in the future.

But even now, when we're recording it, it's not February anymore.

And I still don't have all the prior authorizations I need to get the prescriptions I've been taking for eight plus years to manage my diabetes.

A chronic illness that's never going to go away.

Something, you know, the doctor wouldn't really second-guess writing that prescription.

Is this just a fun insulin prescription, or is this a necessary insulin?

We don't want anyone getting bonus insulin.

They want people to get their prior offs post-humously.

You know what's even stupider is

I do, I also take Ozempic, the real shit, not any of those fake semuglutides.

No, I am actually the person who Ozempic was originally made for because I am diabetic and it has helped my...

Oh, I thought you meant literally you.

Like they met with you and they're like, all right, we're going to find a way.

I'm the reason it was invented.

They named it after him, too.

Yeah.

Little known fact.

My middle name.

Bob Ozempic.

I've been using Ozepic since before it was cool.

That's the first one I got.

Of all the medicines I take, that's the one where I would understand if the insurance was like, does he need this?

Or is he just trying to get skinny for free?

Like, first of all, that part of it doesn't work for me.

Not everyone gets skinny on Ozempic.

I don't know if everyone knows that.

Big disappointment on my end, but also, no, I'm just not.

Anyway, Mark, you talked about this a bunch.

It's not news.

If you're an American, you understand the horrors, but I'm trapped in the middle of trying to get prior authorizations for medicines I've been taking for almost a decade or more, in some cases, for a disease I've had since I was 17 years old.

But whatever.

They just want to check and make sure I'm still diabetic, I guess.

I don't know.

Yeah,

it's one of those things where I know there's a list of

issues to tackle in this country and our society.

But, you know, I really wish that one would be tackled relatively sooner from what it's currently being tackled at, which is never.

Because, yeah, it's absurd.

And everyone agrees that it's absurd.

And some people agree so much that it's absurd that they take special action into these things.

But our, you know, official elected leaders seem to not think it's a priority.

Yeah.

Funny how that works.

My bald stylist would just say, go to Turkey.

They've got the cure for everything in Turkey.

Probably get medicine.

Every other country I've ever traveled to, I didn't get sick in all of them, but all the ones where I got sick, or like when we were on tour, you guys had issues and stuff.

Every other country, we were like, oh, God, Mark's getting sick.

Fuck, how are we going to get doctors?

And all the people in that country were like, dude, come see a doctor.

Medicine?

Please.

Oh, my God.

I hope you feel better.

And we're just like, but, but how expensive was that?

That was like, no bill?

What the?

What?

Shocking.

Hour of my time.

I got seen, consulted with a specialist, got my medicine.

20 bucks total.

For your old twisty testes.

Yeah.

Korea was the same way.

And I know Korea has got some problems with their medical system right now.

I can't remember what was happening exactly.

I think there was a strike for one reason or another.

Don't know the full situation.

But even then, it's still seeing someone same day, a specialist, ear, nose, and throat specialist, same day, same hour that I walked in, impossible to fathom in the States.

Impossible.

We've talked about this before.

I don't need to harp on it.

But it's always flabbergasting.

And now I'm the one trapped in the hell of prior authorization.

So that's fun.

That's one of the joyous things I've had going on lately.

Thankfully, I haven't had too much trouble.

I'm seeming to be all right.

That's the only thing that's keeping me from yelling at people on the phone because it's like, eventually, once all of this is all settled, it'll be okay for a minute, but not there yet.

Also, I wouldn't actually yell at people on the phone, but I do get, I get quite disgruntled.

I try to be polite, but sometimes it's hard to not be like snarky.

I don't remember the last time I've yelled at someone on the phone or customers.

I don't think I ever have.

The one and only time I've ever yelled through a cell cell phone was during the original Bob's Fridge incident.

Right.

I did actually yell at that fucking guy on the cell phone.

He did not care for that.

I did.

I still feel bad about that, but also I feel like my anger was pretty, like pretty justified all around in that situation.

Oh, you had a minor inconvenience or 30.

Yeah.

I've been told by, you know, a therapist in the past that anger is not always a bad emotion.

Sometimes anger is very a valid human emotion that needs to be tapped into.

Was your therapist palpitine?

So, Mark Fischbach, tell me about your anger.

No, no, it's like

that if much like many things,

if you repress things, because I was, when I was a teenager, I was extremely angry all the time.

So it was something that I worked on.

But there's an unhealthy level of repression of certain emotions, And it is normal in

a regular life that you're going to be angry sometimes.

It just so happens that there's many things out there to get people angry and intentionally so or unintentionally.

But at the end of the day, sometimes, you know, anger does motivate you to things.

The fuck you energy I have is technically some outlet of that anger.

Every time I'm like, I'm going to prove them wrong, whoever wrong.

That's kind of anger coming through in a little way.

And so you got to like, you know, release the pressure every once in a while.

It's like our F your dreams, F your nightmares, I'm going to beat you t-shirts coming soon.

I wouldn't promise too much.

Okay.

New shirts edging soon.

We've really been edging this merch for a very long time.

It's going to be quite explosive by the time it actually launches.

Anyway.

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This episode is brought to you by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet.

I'm sure everyone can agree with me when I say that nowadays, everything in your house keeps getting smarter.

Smart speakers, smart mirror, smart toaster, smart smart coffee maker, smart shoes, smart carpet, everything.

What isn't smart?

Luckily, T-Mobile 5G Home Internet makes it easy to keep all your devices connected.

With their quick, one-cord setup, you can hop online in literally 15 minutes or less.

They've also got fast speeds, a price that works for any budget, and a five-year price guarantee.

So if you're looking for internet that keeps up with you, connect to T-Mobile Home Internet for their fast 5G speeds, easy 15-minute setup, and 5-year price guarantee.

Visit t-mobile.com/slash home internet to check availability.

Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G internet data exclusions like taxes and fees apply.

Service delivered via 5G network.

Speeds vary due to factors affecting cellular networks.

Guarantee exclusions and details at tmobile.com/slash home internet.

On to the topic.

Hear me out.

It's gonna sound like it's just more small talk because it kind of is.

But listen,

we haven't been doing this that long, you know, hanging out, talking, knowing each other.

I thought it might be a great time for us to discuss some classic icebreaker questions and really start to get to know each other.

You know, we all work together.

We see each other at the office.

We wave in the parking lot.

But do we really get to know each other on a personal level yet?

I don't know.

And I just want to, you know, foster a little community.

And I thought we could just go over some icebreakers and, you know, maybe tell some stories, have some fun, make a little connection.

Okay.

Okay.

I had a list of questions and then I opened another note.

And the first thing on that note said, Clue, but with a lot of extra rules.

It's like, I don't think that's one of my icebreakers I put on my list, but I guess we're playing Clue now.

That could be a good icebreaker.

Miss Dorothy in the office with the Miss Dorothy.

Miss Dorothy in the office with a knife.

Mark gave us chess 2.0.

I'm coming out here with clue type B sometime soon, but that's a

different episode.

Anyway, icebreakers.

Here we go.

What

thing from nature, excluding all animals and creatures, best describes your vibe?

From all creatures?

No creatures whatsoever.

Just something from nature.

Plants,

rock formations, anything that's not a living creature.

What thing in nature?

Including like the whole cosmos.

Asteroids and whatever.

What thing describes your vibe?

I know this one.

I know this one.

I'm a stalagtite because I'm inside and I'm just hanging out.

I don't know why I felt guilty for laughing at that.

That was a decent joke.

It deserved a laugh.

It was also true.

I'm a homebody.

I like to chill.

So wait, was stalag?

Which one are you?

Stalag?

Tight.

Tight.

Tights are the one that hang, I believe.

I had to look it up because I never remember the might versus tight.

I don't know how tight ceiling, might floor.

I don't know.

It doesn't, what's the connection?

Clearly, I know the difference.

My vibe.

My vibe.

Guys, my vibe.

The mighty redwood.

Just tall, powerful,

girthy as hell.

Unstoppable.

Well-respected.

Top of the tree food chain, if you know what I mean.

That's probably how trees work.

Napoleon syndrome, self-centered trees.

Get a lot of burls that everyone wants to come steal off you.

Yeah, yeah.

People always after my burls.

They are.

That's true.

Yeah.

You're like the Lucky Charms leprechaun of burls.

Except, you know, a tall leprechaun, tall tree.

True, yeah, whatever.

Whatever you want to.

Uh-huh.

Whatever that is.

An elf.

Is that an elf?

An elf?

Are you saying an elf is a tall leprechaun?

Yeah.

Why not?

Have you ever seen a tall leprechaun and an elf in the same place?

You got me there.

Yeah, that's why.

I think Lucky's kids, like, there's one that inherits the family business and the rest go to work for Santa.

Who's Lucky?

Lucky Charms.

Is that his name?

They're not called Lucky's Charms.

They are Lucky Charms.

Yeah, but he's also called Lucky.

But he says they're always after me, Lucky Charms.

They're also after me, Lucky.

Oh, there's charms.

There's a comma in there.

There's several commas.

There's always after me.

Lucky.

Lucky the leprechaun.

That doesn't make any sense.

Also known as Sir Charms.

Sir Charms.

He's a knight.

Mascot of Lucky Charms is Lucky the Leprechaun.

God damn.

I mean, look, fair enough.

I don't know about these things.

I don't have to give it.

I'm going to have to defer to Mark.

That's the nature of breaking the ice.

All right.

Totally different direction.

Are you answering, Bob?

I guess it's only us answering, but I'm curious what represents you.

I like to think of myself as

the waves on the shoreline the michigan shoreline of lake michigan pretty chill but capable of going red flag and getting pretty wild but generally pretty chill salty right no lake mission lake michigan aren't the great lakes saltwater no

they would not be lakes if they were saltwater i thought they were saltwater i don't know they're lakes Isn't there, oh, is it still, is it called the sea if it's in landbound but salty?

Oh, the Great Lakes are freshwater, but they become saltier to increase.

Okay.

They're not salt water, but they are saltier.

Yeah, they connect to the Atlantic Ocean, but it's a long connection, and they're very big.

There's a long connection, and those are called brackish waters when fresh mixes with salt.

I'm that.

That's my vibe.

All right.

I think we've talked about this one before, but I don't remember what the answer was.

So if we've done it before, just say it fast.

What is the most used emoji on your phone right now?

I can tell you this because it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It's the water polo player, and I don't know why.

It once showed up in my top emoji list, and I don't, I've never used it before, but now I always use it because it's just always there.

Is that yours, Wade?

Yep.

I don't even know how to describe that.

What face is gritted teeth face?

Griddy teeth, or he's all,

but he's not smiling.

Consider my top three: it's the gritted teeth, the heart emoji, and then the shrug.

It's a guy going, like, the shrug is appropriate for you.

I can see you texting that a lot to people.

Actually, these are

my next

most used emojis.

Those make sense.

I don't know why you have a water polo player.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Wait, what is this?

What my third most used emoji is an Apple gen emoji of a lion playing football.

I guess I text about lions football a lot to people.

Also, my number one, I just want to say, is the fork and knife sitting next to each other.

And it's because that's what I call Fortnite in text message forms.

So I text, there's several groups that I'm in where I'm like, hey, you guys want a fork knife?

Okay,

Fortnite and water polo living in your guys' heads.

I don't know what the deal is with the football lion.

I swear I use other emojis.

I made that that once.

I think we have talked about that, but I just can't.

I just wanted to know, you know?

So water polo, forked knife, and gritted teeth.

It makes sense when you don't think about it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

This one won't be contentious.

I know we're only just getting to know each other, but this is kind of a question for all three of us, but mostly for you two.

If you could be one of the other two people on this call, who would you choose to be?

How long term is this?

Say swap until you both agree to swap back.

Well, if one of you picked me, you'd never go back, so I'm kind of scared.

I'll call that bluff.

I'll take it.

I'll take Wade.

Wade, you don't get to take me, though.

We have to circularly trade.

I wouldn't.

You're short.

I want to keep my height, so I'm taking Bob.

All right.

Well,

you're going to get down to my head, and your knees aren't going to hurt, and your hips aren't going to hurt, and your back's going to be fine.

So I have to be Mark, then?

Is that what we've just decided?

Well, I think you still get a choice, but Mark and I apparently don't.

Don't listen.

Don't make it be like that.

I know I said it like that, but don't take it like that.

You'd be whoever you want to be.

I was going to pick you for height.

I like height.

I was honestly thinking about picking Mark, partially because it's hard to imagine what the world looks like from such a short height.

It's only a six-inch difference, man.

Also, you could finally get a movie out, unlike someone we know.

Well, Mark just has so many like hobbies and stuff.

And I feel like I'm in a similar vein, but I'm just less committed than Mark to my hobbies.

So I'll like, I'll sit here and I'll learn.

Like right now, I'm learning a lot about woodworking for hobby reasons, but I don't do it.

If I was Mark, I would have a whole, I would have tools.

I would have made a chair at this point.

I guess I admire Mark's dedication to just like doing, actually doing shit instead of just sitting around.

But I think, yeah, it's just a body swap, right?

It's a mind stage.

I know, but if I was in your body, then I'd basically, I'd behave more like you.

I'm just assuming, I'm just throwing that out there.

I'm just assuming.

There is a mind-body connection.

I know that.

And I guess if you're considering like the brain the way it's configured, but I was assuming we're just going to ignore that.

Philosophically, there's the whole mind-body problem.

I mean, this is, we can or cannot address the philosophical side of this question as much as we choose to, but plus, you already have a bunch of cool stuff.

Like, I'm never gonna, I'm not gonna have like the workshop, and you've been working on the workshop.

That sounds really fun to me.

You could build a bitch in garage workshop with not a lot, but we keep

our cars in our garage because we live in a place where that fucking snows and shit.

Forget that.

Forget that.

Oh, but the snow, the snow, Mark.

Forget it.

The snow works.

Basement workshop, too.

That's pretty good, too.

I mean, it's the storage room, but there's like a whole, there's a side room down here that's sort of like the utility storage room.

That could be kind of workshoppy.

It could be.

You don't have to start big.

Really, what I've identified is going to a Ryobi sale and buying all of the tools that are on sale is not a good way to get anything done.

Apparently, this is not the best.

Don't matter how many free batteries you get, don't do it.

It doesn't matter how much of a steal it is.

It's just going to take up space.

Yeah.

You could slowly build out something or you could quickly build out something.

There's always like great deals to get used sets of things.

Oh, there's so much you could do.

Or you could play Monster Hunter and build a new set of armor every time you kill a new monster.

No, the used tool market.

I am excited about Monster Hunter and probably after this, that's what I'm going to go do.

But the used tool market is interesting.

There's so much good shit out there.

it is i and the technology for everything is turning over so fast there's always a cycle of people getting rid of old tools that aren't even old they're completely functional it's true if you want or need tools or if you're trying to get into a hobby that requires tools definitely check out like i i just sit and i just look on facebook marketplace a lot but there's a lot like there's also like forum like reddits and stuff on like there's so many like There's so many good tools that are already out there.

You might as well just get a used one.

Did you see Michael Reeves' Facebook Marketplace video?

Yes.

yeah with the with the lowballing bots and then the gaslighting bot god you got to see it that was very funny so funny the editing on that one was particularly insane as well i don't know

but yeah wade you got to check out michael reeves facebook marketplace video i'm not a facebook marketplace guy but amy looks at facebook marketplace and finds tons of great deals there i i don't use facebook anymore but if i did i would go there I'm annoyed that I have to go through Facebook to look at Facebook Marketplace, but like Craigslist isn't really a thing anymore.

And there are other like apps and things that are sort of in that vein, but around here, Facebook Marketplace is definitely the best.

Oh, this guy gets way too many views.

I only watch small creators.

He's pretty small.

He's even shorter than Mark, I think.

Yeah, probably.

Not height.

I watch tall creators that get small amounts of views.

Is it a bot that scams people?

Is that the video I need?

Yeah, that's it.

I'm also just surprised how effective it was.

I think he might have just got a lot of luck.

I have no idea, but it was...

The whole premise premise worked out so much better than I would have expected.

Who, if you're selling the sticker, was the most surprising?

Because if you're selling a sticker that's listed for five bucks and you accept it for three, I'm not going to drive somewhere to give it.

I'd waste more in gas if I had a gas car than I would making the money off of the sticker.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Anyway, maybe you hope they come back.

You know, repeat customers.

That's what it's all about.

There's a lot of Facebook's marketplace sticker resellers out there, you know.

I feel like an ice wall is forming between you two and I right now.

You don't have to like everything we like.

We're all just bonding over things.

We're bonding.

Bond.

All right.

I don't know why I like this one, but I feel compelled to ask this because I can't let it go.

If you could safely eat any inedible object, like from now to eternity, you could always eat this object.

What would it be?

It's nothing I would want to eat.

This is like a you have to, right?

Yeah, you have to.

this is a thing that you have to pick.

Tacos.

Ah!

I know.

I know.

I know.

Lava.

Because that would offer up some pretty interesting party tricks and also suggesting I have really incredible heat tolerance of some time if I could eat it.

Your shit would be wild, man.

It would be.

I wouldn't do it a lot.

But imagine.

Like a villain's trying to lower me into a volcano and I'm like, no, oh no, not this.

And then

eat my way out and you just eat your way out my first thought was chapstick because some of it smells so good like there's a cherry one i'm pretty sure you just can eat chapstick if you want to i think that's probably fine i would eat garbage oh then i wouldn't have to deal with it or throw it away there wouldn't be a mess i could just get rid of it i feel like That's a little bit general, but I actually had the exact same thought.

Hey, we've thought a lot alike lately, and it's usually not ended well for me.

Yeah, no, it never works out very well for you.

I don't know if, I mean, it doesn't really matter.

I don't know if I would say that counts or not, but I like it.

What I landed on was I had that same thought, and I was like, well, maybe garbage is too vague.

I would eat plastic because a lot of plastic is not even recyclable.

And even plastic that is technically recyclable is not broadly recycled in some places, and it's not efficient to recycle it.

You might like manufacturers might as well just chuck it and make a new one out of new material because it's so much cheaper and simpler.

They don't have to like clean it or do any bullshit to it.

If I could just eat plastic, I'm curious what my poops would be like and if I would like digest it or if it would just go through me.

But if I could eat it and like make it go away, you know, physically speaking, I feel like that would be awesome.

I'm assuming eat means you digest it.

If I could eat plastic and digest it into poop, That would be awesome.

I would do that.

That would be very cool.

But if I could just eat garbage in general, I feel like that would encompass my idea.

And I would, I would, that was my pick.

The setup doesn't say anything about it tasting any differently.

So it potentially still

would just taste like garbage.

You just, you could safely eat it, but that doesn't mean that like you would enjoy it or whatever.

A little bit of salt and butter, it'd be fine.

I mean, you could make the garbage into like, you know, garbage loaf.

Season it up a little.

Shit zagna, shit flambay, shit kebab.

Shit kebab.

Wait, no, why does it have to be shit?

You mean garbage kebab?

Shit stuff.

Just for the fun of saying shit kebab.

It's really boring that Wade and I thought the same thing.

I'm going to take some points away for that.

That sounds fair.

What is the worst piece of advice you've ever been given?

And when did you realize it was bad advice?

I don't know if this is true, but the first one I thought of was finish what you start.

Because I don't finish a single fucking game I play or imagine for life never finish.

You just think that's bad advice because you're incapable of following it?

I think so.

I feel like that sounds like decent advice.

You'd think it would.

I also don't follow that advice, so I'm totally with you.

I think

the worst advice I have ever received was probably

something to do with

investing in foreign exchange currencies.

I remember Forex Mark.

Uh-huh.

I remember that.

That was a phase, man.

It was a very brief window.

And, you know, it was crazy because I was like, oh, yeah, I got the strats.

I know what to do.

I got some money.

I've been working this job.

And then, you know,

that story ends with me in a bathroom stall, hunched over my cell phone, watching a red line just go down and down and down and down and down,

sweating like,

oh, God, oh, I should, I should, I should cancel it, but it might go back up.

Oh, I guess still going down.

Yeah, so I lost about, I lost about 40% of my money in one move, and then I never did it again.

Honestly, of all the different types of like fast-paced day trade-y stuff, Forex does strike me as one of the things where...

If you just develop a really simple system of rules and you don't do anything crazy, you kind of could probably make a little bit of money at it, but it's just probably not worth that much.

Yeah, you're to the whims whims of an unknown world.

But now we got crypto, dude.

Imagine if crypto had existed the way it does now when you were, when you got into that.

Because that was in college or is it directly following college?

That's like in college.

No, it was in college.

Yeah.

And it was, it was pretty early on.

It would have been around the same time that crypto, the idea might have just been getting started.

That like Bitcoin existed, but it was still sort of more for the Silk Road than anything else.

But I'll be perfectly honest, even if I had started when it started, I would have sold so long ago, it would have hit like one dollar and I would have been like, Oh, I made so much money.

Yo, imagine we, when we were in college and Bitcoin released, you could buy bitcoins for like cents a coin.

You could mine it on your computer and get tons of it.

Yeah, it was worthless.

Fucking imagine there probably are stories of people who did hold for that low or like lost their wallet and found it back, whatever.

But what do you do?

Like, how do you sell Bitcoin?

Who buys it?

Like,

it's worth so much money.

Get into that.

Bro, the blockchain, bro.

What do you mean?

Everyone's like, Bitcoin's worth so much, but no one ever gets their money from it.

It's just worth so much.

It's worth so much because there are specific exchanges on which you can buy and sell crypto.

And it primarily has value because of and on those exchanges.

It's not any different from other money, except that it's not backed by any specific government or whatever for its value.

It has value because everyone collectively agrees it has value.

And you can.

But can you ever get anything?

You can use it in some places to buy things sometimes.

Some really cool Web3 companies are like, yeah, we take USD, Apple Pay, and Bitcoin.

And so you can pay for your whatever service in Bitcoin, but it's not really.

No.

Not seriously.

It's almost always traded back for money.

I'm keeping my advice.

Finish what you start.

Was it a specific person that got you into foreign exchange stuff, or was it just like a thing you sort of came across?

And no, it was just, I must have saw some video or some guide online that everyone's like, hey, come on.

I was so close.

If I had any money when you were doing that, I was like, I watched.

I had like screens pulled up with like the all the charts and shit.

And I would sit there and I learned a bit about the patterns, but I didn't actually have money.

So it was very theoretical for me.

But I had had money, though, man.

I guess the importance of a college degree would also be like, I feel like college was important.

The degree itself is important.

Wait, where you're thinking like me again?

That's what I was going to say.

College.

But like, I still think education is important.

Just the degree itself maybe isn't as useful, but I'm glad I had philosophy.

I feel like the thing, the thing about that that I have a gripe with, because I'm in no way am I anti-education.

The thing about that that I have a gripe with is specifically kind of like what you're saying, the college, the four-year college degree.

Yeah.

We spent our entire, any time since I can remember from being in school and being a kid, all of the like guidance counselors and everyone, teachers and everyone were like, yeah, you want to go to college.

That's the goal.

You get the four-year degree.

A lot of people, I think, benefit from a four-year degree.

It gives you career opportunities that you otherwise might not be able to get.

But a lot of people don't benefit benefit from it and are not benefiting from it and should have avoided that completely because there are associate's degrees there are other pathways there are apprenticeship programs they're not as plentiful as they could or should be maybe and it's like it's not like it was 50 or 80 or 100 years ago where you could just go straight out of high school or not even go to high school and go find somewhere and make a career necessarily but some people just don't fucking need to go to college and it's not because they're not smart enough and it's not because they're like less or what like it's nothing like that they're just not they don't thrive in school they thrive in a place where they're doing something where they're building something where they're like it's just not school isn't something that everyone is equally suited for and it fucking sucks because i've had friends who were really bright people who were really smart who got sucked into college and were just fucking hated it and thought that they were so stupid because they couldn't like thrive in college the way that they saw other friends and classmates doing.

And they are not stupid.

It's not, it doesn't work that way.

I always, I find that very frustrating, but it's a particular thing because I am very much pro-education, but there are lots of different ways to learn shit in the world and turn that into a way to have like a job and a career and a life.

But that's a weird thing to talk about in the world that we live in because.

We hardly know each other.

Yeah, we're basically strangers.

But that, listen, kids.

You know, listen.

Oh, fucking.

I just touched my pen to my lens.

Are you okay, Lens?

I don't care.

You're cheap, lens.

Let's be honest.

Did you zoom in to see if you could see the lens better?

Yeah.

I'm looking at the lens up close.

Not actually zooming in.

I'm just moving my face closer to it to look at it.

It's an optical illusion.

Well, this one's interesting because we all live in different places.

And by all of us, I mean one of us.

What's your favorite thing about the place that you live?

It doesn't have to even be like your top favorite thing, but like...

Pick a favorite thing.

Pick a thing you want to talk about.

That's like a favorite thing about the place that you live.

For me, the weather's great

and that can't be beat.

Obviously, there's, you know, natural disasters, but I'm not talking about that.

Weather is great.

There are tons of opportunities for my career out here that work really well for me.

Met a ton of people here.

There's a lot of,

this is kind of like weirdly specific, but there's a lot of...

And I'm not saying there aren't in Ohio, but there's a lot of really specifically ambitious people here.

And so so there's a higher likelihood of meeting those other ambitious types that really want to kind of independently focus and like self-starting.

And so that's, that's been really appealing and good for me to meet.

And it's usually, they come from other places.

They're all over the country and the world, but this is one of the hubs where a lot of those people congregate.

So I think that's good.

I'm not a people person, but it's really, really handy to be able to meet people that are really skilled in certain specific skills and they're all in one place or within like an hour's drive.

So that's cool.

You do have to be a certain kind of crazy and/or

just really motivated to like actually make it work in LA because it's of all the cities I've been to, LA is one of the more unpleasant, but also one of the craziest.

There's pleasant parts of it.

Downtown LA.

Kind of shit that goes on in LA is wild.

Yeah, it's it's it's uh it's a story every day.

Five syllables: Cincinnati chillies.

It's okay.

We don't learn a lot of counting in Ohio.

Not what we're here for.

We're here for the chli.

Education.

That's really, that's one of your favorite things?

You said this to be your favorite.

You just said pick a favorite thing.

I said one of your favorite things.

One of my favorite things.

That's just a thing that I wouldn't think is up there for so many people.

It is for me, is why I'm surprised.

I'm a big Skyline fan in particular.

Look, I've got family and friends here.

There's a lot of restaurants, familiarity, comfort.

I think cost of living.

I think it's beautiful here.

Those are all great things.

But man, I can't imagine living in a place where I can't get Cincinnati chili.

The only substitute here is there is a place in Burbank, I think, that has.

a Cincinnati native that made a Cincinnati chili place.

Oh, that's cool.

I haven't been there yet, but I think it exists.

I'm barely sure.

I'm supposed to know how it is.

But yeah, I don't know, man.

I like my skyline, my gold star.

I've not tried blue ash chili yet.

I want to try it, but like,

it's one of the things that

I can't see myself leaving behind.

There's one that opened in Orlando.

Someone that trained in our hometown of Milford.

There's a skyline there.

They opened a location down in Orlando, Florida.

It'll never be as good as it is here.

No, for sure.

No, I don't disagree.

It's

something we went back.

I had it twice.

Three times, actually, in the time I was around.

That's a a lot.

You're still counting weight.

I just, I really thought I had it.

You almost did, man.

You almost did.

Don't beat yourself up with that.

Cincinnati chili.

That's how I did it.

I was like, Cincinnati chili.

Perfect.

That's like how

like third graders do syllables when they're learning it.

They're just like, you just make your fingers go at like the same speed as you're talking.

You ever do the chin one where you count syllables?

Cincinnati chili?

No.

They count syllables, but never heard of that one.

Not even a little bit.

My chin doesn't doesn't really move that.

Well, it does, it moves a bit.

It doesn't move very much when I talk.

No, but you exaggerate it when you're trying to do the cell balls.

I think I probably don't do that one for that exact reason.

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What is one skill you think everyone should possess regardless of who they are or what they do?

Communication.

Broad, but I like it.

God, man, the ability to talk and communicate, listen and speak, the most important in relationships, light, everything.

So many things are just, they go wrong in everything because of lack of communication, proper communication.

This is kind of robbing that one a little bit, but I think in specificity, I think everyone should speak a second language.

That's a little different, but I see what you're going with it.

And again, I'm not fluent in Korean.

I'm trying,

but automatically, it opens up your worldview to know another language because, in that, you can interact with at least one more

culture.

And that's big.

In America, if everyone also spoke Spanish, there would be an incredible, like,

larger part of interaction happening with people like from Mexico or of Spanish descent or anything like that.

And then, Spanish also is a gateway language to like French and Italian and all those other Romance languages.

And so, there's just,

it would, I believe it would probably be a net net good.

There'd still be plenty of people that are prejudiced and biased that it doesn't stop anyone, it doesn't make anyone a miraculously good person or fix everything, but it would, it would, they would at least be literate because if they could speak to, well, maybe not.

There's people that speak multiple languages, don't read it.

But there'd be a little more going on up here.

You know what I mean?

Well, your answers make mine seem pretty frivolous now.

My, my thing that I landed on was

cooking, which is a little broad, but if communication is allowed to be one, I think cooking.

Like, you don't need to know how to cook to survive, but I feel like if more people had a fundamental base of cooking, like basic cooking skills, it just makes life that little bit better, right?

When you're, especially in the world that we live in, like you don't always have a lot of money for fancy ingredients or nicer higher-end ingredients.

Sometimes you get the same stuff week after week.

You live in a world of a lot of like rice and beans and things.

Simple ingredients can be just as delicious as fancy, expensive ingredients.

It takes more technique and knowledge, maybe, but that's a thing, right?

If I know people who like don't like eating now or or have some specific foods that they won't eat and not for reasons like Wade where like cilantro tastes like soap and that's like a genetic thing.

They just like they think they don't like food.

But the problem is they grow up and like their both parents were working and that, you know, food was secondary.

They ate what they ate.

It was a lot of canned stuff or whatever.

Can be delicious.

And I feel like when food is delicious, it just sort of improves your overall quality of life.

But it's hard to argue that people should spend a lot of time cooking or learning about cooking when, you know, shit's hard.

Now, now that feels stupid.

So thank you.

You made me feel really stupid.

Thanks, guys.

That was our goal.

Denada.

Right, Mark?

Donata.

Pronounced Donatos, Wade.

It's a pizza place.

Oh, Donatos.

Anyway.

I had some other ones, but as per usual, I hate them now, even though I took the time to write write them down so i don't want to talk about those i think that was enough i think the ice is broken i think we know each other better now now we can all stop pretending to be friends and get the back to work so you guys want to get together get some chli god no can't wait for this conversation to be over go on back to your cubicles everybody i will read the points now in a perfunctory manner oh wait no should i wait should i forget do we do the wheels first should we do the wheels first we usually do wheel last but you can do whatever order you want man i just don't even it's all different now all right I'll read the points.

Mark, Mark, you got points for cool surgery.

I've never finished in my life.

Girthy Redwood, water polo emoji, and eat love.

All right, eat lava, eat lava, eat lava.

Yeah, that makes shit love.

I've got that on my wall.

Wade, you earned points for Pooh Pooh Water Book, Palpatine Therapist.

I'm a stalag type.

Loser like me,

eat garbage.

And five syllables.

I'm going to go talk to my palpatine therapist after this episode.

You might think I was prepared to roll a three-sided die.

This is kind of a disadvantage for me, but I want to go with shirt is closest to their own background.

Yippee!

Wade, hold on.

You're welcome.

It's got to be in there somewhere.

Sorry, the sign is not Wade flesh-toned.

Yeah,

it's kind of marked today, today.

But Wade, you wear a lot of gray shirts, and I do have purple shirts that I wear sometimes.

And I usually wear dark shirts, so this is uncommon.

Something about today, something about that shirt tone, it is an unusual color for you.

You wear a lot of like dark stuff and like greens.

If I wear a green shirt and I tell the editors to green screen it out, does that count?

Because that would just be a floating head.

I mean,

I don't get to see that, but we can talk about it when it happens.

Okay.

Oh, anyway, three-sided die.

Well, Well, I got a two.

All right.

So we're doing

two spins.

I did not tell you who is ahead.

I wasn't counting either, so I have no idea.

It's Wade.

Wade is ahead.

Okay.

And there are two spins.

So I'm sure nothing bad will happen to me.

Come on.

Okay.

That's not going to do much.

Oh my god.

Why the

fuck?

fuck is that so loud?

It was last time, too, but I swear it gets louder each time.

I don't know how to make that be not loud.

I don't know.

All right.

Point for, what was it?

Point for listeners.

Listeners.

No, viewers.

It was viewers because viewers disappeared and it's on listeners now.

Well, I'm just going to write listeners and you're just going to have zero points on this scorecard.

So you're going to be in fourth place, listeners.

And spin number two.

Hopefully with no sound fucking destroying your eardrums.

Again.

Oh, shit.

I felt pretty confident about every one of my answers.

I'm pretty sure that I could say that it was me, strongly threw it.

I looked for some punchlines.

He was locked in during the small talk, and I was making light of it.

I would say.

I would say Mark was more locked in than I was.

I was definitely more locked in.

I'll accept it.

Mark gets the point for being most locked in, which makes the final scores

viewers.

Oh, listeners, zero.

Yeah.

Take that.

Viewers, one.

Woo!

Wade,

seven.

And Mark,

six.

Oh.

Fuck.

Wish me that Wade wins.

Wow.

What a way to misbelieve that.

Why did you get so excited?

I was so ready for it, man.

I know usually if I'm red first, it's not a good thing, but yeah, all right.

Real subversion.

You were just really invested in that one.

I felt it.

Anyway, congratulations, Wade.

Thank you.

Is it winner speech time?

Yeah, winner speech it away.

Go for it, buddy.

Bob, great episode as always.

Thank you for having me, Mark.

It was well thought.

You were locked in.

You were right there.

But ultimately, it comes down to Palpatine and Chlee.

And if you don't have those two things in your life, what really do you have?

Truer words have never been uttered out of Wade's mouth.

Mark loses speech.

This was unfair.

I've been.

Oh, fuck.

Wait, wait, wait.

I allow it.

I mean, we're giving the speeches, but

look, I guess technically, if we're going to do this, what's unfair is Wade is winning.

So if Mark wins, I buy it.

Mark wins, but if it it is deemed fair, Wade gets double win, I don't know what that means, but I'll take it.

So heads for Mark, tails for me.

Yeah, so if three heads,

Mark actually wins this episode.

The score doesn't change.

Mark just wins this episode.

If three tails, Wade double wins this episode.

Whatever the fuck that means.

He gets two wins for the season championship, which probably ended by now.

I don't remember.

It's almost definitely maybe over.

Who cares?

I mean, who knows?

I do care.

I want the trophy.

But anyway, flip them, boys.

It's heads.

Heads.

Sales.

Oh, man.

I wanted to cheat so bad.

I did too, but the other way.

I saw it laying heads and I was like, what do I do?

This is bad for me.

Anyway, Mark, continue your loser speech now that we have deemed that completely fair.

It's legally declared to be fair, so I have no right to complain.

I need to tear up my previous loser speech, which was going, and then my follow-up winner speech I was going to read.

And now I'm left with a nothing speech where I feel like nothing, am nothing, and will never accomplish anything.

I'm not a mighty redwood.

I am a lowly dandelion, just blowing away in the wind.

Cheers.

Thank you, everyone, for competing.

Excellent use of the unfair bit, Mark.

Thank you.

I respect it.

I look forward to that coming up later on.

We should make a rule that it can only be if there's a one-point margin.

Because otherwise, it was clearly pretty fair.

We won't remember that.

I'll remember it.

I'm Ember.

I'm Ember.

Anyway, make sure you follow Mark and Wade on their YouTube channels and social media stuff.

And I have those things too.

And make sure you follow the podcast because then your devices will tell you every time there's a new one.

It's Mondays and Fridays, but you know, just in case you forget.

Thank you so much for watching or listening to another episode of your favorite podcast.

That's it for this one.

Wade is going to host the next one.

Till then, podcast out.

This episode is brought to you by Welch's Fusions, the newest drop from Welch's Fruit Snacks.

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