Wade Has An Interest

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Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible, this face-to-face episode.

Bemused Bob wants TM swinging, sacrifices saving throws for familial bonds, yet yearns for combat.

Wearying Wade doesn't blow his own horn, questions his vocal dexterity, and poisons himself.

Morale-raising Mark maws Mr.

Mercer, wants TPKs and Bribes Guild membership.

From cancelling curses to sunsetting sportsmen.

It's time for Wade has an interest.

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

I think we've officially run out of conversation topics.

It's been a really long week.

I was very busy.

Played DD last night till like four in the morning.

Why didn't you say that?

I'm playing up good barbarian, which is kind of crazy.

It's a unique kind of.

That wasn't intentional, just happened that way.

See, this is the thing.

You're the busiest person I know because you're always doing something.

And yet you come here and say, like, ooh.

I don't know that that feels like self-promotion.

I don't want to be that.

I don't know that interesting.

Just talking about what?

Talk about what you do.

It's what you do.

I self-promote all the time.

Okay, well, I'm playing an invulnerable rager, which means I get more damage reduction.

So I'm like, I go in, I get the shit beat out of me, but I actually take slightly less damage.

And I have this big sword, and I just fucking cleave it.

It's a little cheating if you come into the game.

I'm going to be invulnerable.

Well, yes, if you say that.

I'm going to be invulnerable.

Invulnerable Rager just means you get more damage reduction early because we're doing what's called Epic 6.

So we cap at level 6.

And we just got to level 4.

So it's like, you only get so many powers, so many feet, so many ability scores.

So if you have damage reduction and everything caps at level six, it's like, actually, damage reduction of two or three is pretty strong.

So I was like, okay, I'll go with that.

People have been wanting us to play D ⁇ D for a long time.

I love D ⁇ D.

We just don't have enough people.

I have an idea that I want to do.

I want to find a DM who I like get along with who will give us one shots where it's like they come up with the story.

They come up with...

We use, there are a lot of really simple structures where all you need is like you roll one die and you can do, you can figure anything out that needs to happen.

But they give us a bunch of different like a series of one shots and then we take turns being the host but also the host like doesn't have all the info so one of us is running so there's not a fourth person on the show running the game but they would like they would be in the background and the dm would be in the ear of whoever of us is running the show and be like actually

suddenly this happened like then we get to take turns running it so it's not just like i'm the one who does the dnd or something and we all get take turns playing playing.

And it could be different characters.

I kind of think it'd be cool if we had like set characters and they just jumped from universe to universe.

Like it was in space.

Yeah.

And we kept like looping around going to different.

I want to do this, but I have not done the first step of, I need to find someone who is on board with this idea who I like, I think gets our humor and would be good at this sort of, because it's not a thing.

Most DMs are like.

It's a grand campaign or, or it's a small campaign, but it's like,

it's for our group because they have a group that they play with or whatever so I know my dm doesn't really like it he'll do one shots he's not really big fan of them because he said it's like hard to tell a good story and yeah that amount of time it's a lot of cliche kind of stories but if I wasn't doing gaming stuff I 100% could see myself I could I don't think I'm critical role worthy but like having a really awesome setup where you have like the table everyone gets around like critical role does and like having like a full dmb

why do you say why do you say you're not critical role worthy their voice acting capabilities i think is above.

Like, I can do some different voices, but like, I think theirs are truly like, I'm not a voice actor as far as talent goes.

Now, making a character and getting immersed and playing my character, I can do that like they can, but I think that they are more talented voice actors than I am.

Matt Mercer, you're a bitch.

I'm throwing down the gauntlet here.

I've been trying for scars.

No, no, no, no, no.

Call me.

He's so much better than

voice acting and everyone on critical role.

Put my phone number on the screen, Matt.

Call me.

me.

We're going to do one.

Yeah, you call him right now.

Set this up.

1v5.

1v1v1v1v1.

He'll take them all on at the same time.

Voice to voice.

He's got this.

My money's on him.

My two.

I don't want those.

Very fine.

No, I watched, they did a campaign on Critical Roll recently.

They have a new system.

I think it's called Dagger Fall.

like they came up with.

They invented this new D ⁇ D system.

Daggerfall is the name of the first Elder Scrolls game or the second.

I might be wrong about that.

I thought it was Fall.

But they've released a whole system that you play that's a lot more RP-intensive and a little bit less dice.

But it seemed pretty brutal.

I watched their campaign.

It was pretty brutal.

Pretty, like, they died?

It's a very easy-to-die-in system in the way they played it, at least.

Like, in person, they died?

Well, if your character dies,

don't you have to follow their lead?

You're role-playing, right?

You have to play the role.

I hope not, because one of my characters died by being burned to death with flamethrowers, and I really don't want to follow that role.

That sounds terrible.

I've been super into D ⁇ D.

I really enjoy it.

And it's like, I kind of wish I could play more than I do.

So, like, having a really cool in-person setup where everyone's like focused and paying attention doesn't have like distractions of screens and phones, like, sounds like a really fun idea.

Everyone's immersed and buys in.

It's so much fun.

Build it.

Well, I'd want to, but there's not a lot of people locally I know that play.

I, I, I would, this is the problem I run into: is I love

the, I have not played a lot, but every experience I've had with DD, I really love it.

It's really fun.

And every group that I, because I have been invited or i've had opportunities every group is full of people who are normal people who have jobs and i'm like i do my stuff during this is my job so i had to do like nine to five during the day is my availability and like after five

i have a son and i'm not trying to play d and d for four hours one of the nights of the week when i'm supposed to be like cooking dinner and playing with jay like i do want to do it but that's a hard decision to make and every dr d group i've ever talked to they're like yeah we go from like 9 p.m to four in the morning on Thursday nights.

And I'm like, Ours is 8 p.m.

It used to be 8 p.m.

to midnight on Wednesdays.

Right.

Now it's 8 p.m.

to like 2 or 3 a.m.

Yeah.

And like, it's cool.

If I didn't have James, like, I would be way down for that.

But I'm like, I really, I'm luckier than a lot of people who have to work more hours than I do, but I really try and reserve family time.

And it's like, I don't, I don't have four or six or 10 hours a week to do nighttime D D when I work during the day.

Anyway,

it's fine.

I'm first world problems.

I wouldn't be fine if it was like a seven-hour session.

I am fine.

But most of the D ⁇ D that I've played in or been a part of has been spending four of those hours in town trying to buy something,

just walking around.

That happens sometimes.

Our current campaign is very RP heavy, so there's a lot more of like talking than there is action.

But I mean, like, it's more than it would be in real life.

If I went to go get potions from a fucking town, I'm not going to be there for four hours.

I don't go to the grocery store for four hours.

how are they talking to everybody we did an hour of furniture shopping once we got like we got like a house and we had to go furniture shopping we spent an hour furniture shopping in rp yeah

what so that's a long time

going to ikea for an hour dude one of the campaigns we were doing um it's not vampire the masquerade but it's like that universe it's like it was called hunter i think we played like sam and dean winchester type characters but weaker okay my character went in he was like a rich content creator i was playing like kind of a douchey content creator because i was like like, that's fun.

But he had a lot of money.

What is that like?

Really difficult for me.

I had to know how I channeled it.

He bought like this property that they were going to use for their base.

They set up, get all their guns and have this thing.

And I had to RP with like a tax accountant and attorney.

And I was like, oh,

that was the worst

thing I did.

It was like, oh, let me negotiate my loan.

I was like, this is not

you say have to.

Why?

Who said you had had to?

I wasn't the one running the game, man.

I was just a player.

Oh, my God.

And see, that's the kind of stuff that's like, no offense to that, your DM or any DM that does like that.

People like that.

There's plenty of people who like that.

I mean, all of the people, there are so many different.

It was relatively well received.

Critical Role is not the only DD that you can watch as a series on the internet.

And there are plenty of DD series that I have, or like podcasts, where I was like, oh, I'll see what this is about.

And it's like

an hour and a half of role playing of them doing almost nothing.

And to me, I'm like, oh, dude, do anything.

Do something.

Is Critical Role more action-based or are they more RP-based?

I've not watched their longer form campaigns too much, but.

Yeah, I've legitimately not watched them.

Honestly, that's probably, I know them, but I have probably watched almost zero actual Critical Role other than clips.

I mean, it's a hard balance.

It depends what you're doing.

There are definitely like times and games that you play that are more action-focused, and there's other systems that are definitely more RP-focused.

Yeah,

if we were going to do do something and we were going to take part, I would want it to be almost exclusively action.

I want it to be very one-shotty, very action-focused.

Because the point is it's just an improv game, right?

Like for our purposes, it's a fun, structured improv game where you can have a goal that we don't all have to make up in our heads and agree upon because that doesn't always work out very well in our short form, especially you want to be more action.

If you're in town,

do you still take turns?

Okay, good.

No, because I was about to say, if you're taking turns RPing with people,

you are an initiative and take turns typically when you're fighting or like a fight is about to break out or something.

Like, if you're just role-playing, it's just like you do your thing.

That was good because I was about to say, like, I'm not saying you should be all fighting all the time, but it's like, man, if you had to wait, you go to buy a potion.

Unfortunately, Mark rolled higher initiative.

He bought the potion.

What do you do?

Bitching him, I guess.

That's a two-round action.

You've only cut.

Damn it.

No, it's not like that.

Okay, Okay, good.

Also, everyone's going to ask, twitch.tv/slash lostinitiatives where I play.

I did a system, though, on a show called Roll for It.

Tyler

was a part of like this bigger campaign.

It was like Warhammer campaign.

They wanted to do like not a one-shot, but like a four-episode series where it was like Tyler was like a general sending an army down to like a planet to do something.

And they're like, what if we zoom in and we do like a mini campaign of that battle?

That's pretty cool.

So I got to join in as like one of the soldiers.

And the guy who DM'd dm'd was named sheepy i forget his actual wander want the wandering in i think is his at but he dm'd us a warhammer game that was very action oriented and he had us make like four character sheets that were pretty quick to make but he's like there will probably be death in this game your character is expendable so we kind of made some silly characters but it was very action oriented was just constantly like we were at war somehow we were great at war but we had to like cook meals in our downtime to eat we sucked at that so we kept poisoning ourselves and there was a point where we rolled like the it was like a a d100 system where a one is great a 100 is terrible and our cook rolled i think a one or a two on cooking our meal and he was like

huh interesting so we started hallucinating and we were like trying to stealth into this like combat situation and my character was seeing a bunch of like monkeys that were like shooting lasers i thought one was good i thought one was good i'm sorry he rolled a high he rolled the bad one okay he rolled very very bad guys so i started hallucinating seeing like space monkeys shooting lasers One of our characters actually just believed they were dead.

So they just laid down and thought they were dead.

And I forget what the other hallucination was, but we're like hallucinating in the woods while we were trying to like sneak into this combat zone.

Everything that went bad was from the fucking cooking.

Because we would get into combat and it's like, oh, dude, one crit, one crit.

Awesome.

But that was a really fun system.

Very action-oriented.

It was just like the pace of being...

like a bandit brothers style where it's just like war scene war scene moving trying to fight the action getting pushed back that was a really cool one it's so weird to hear you talk passionately and have a bunch of knowledge about a thing that you really like i know that you like things in life but you've never you don't ever share this stuff i don't know i feel like i talked about dnd before and dished them on like you've definitely talked about it but you'd be like i played dnd this week i've got a cigar but i figure if people care they'll come watch us play like they're not gonna they'll hear me just talk about like rehashing that's not how that works

though no you have to bother the shit out of someone to get them to go click on something that they've never watched before and they don't know if they like it or not.

I mean, I super enjoy roleplay, like being different characters.

I've loved a lot of my characters.

I did GTRP.

You did that for a little bit.

I had Normal Guy.

I really love playing him.

I got too addicted to it.

I will never do GTRP again because there was a time where I got on at like 4 p.m.

and I was on till 7 a.m.

And I did that for like three weeks.

Just all because the FOMO, the fear of missing out was crazy.

If I logged off, I was like, what if something crazy happens while I'm offline?

Gotta be on the server.

Who do you turn into when the cameras are?

Gotta be on the server.

Okay.

Well, no, it's good to hear you talk about stuff.

I really enjoy it.

Yeah, I would love to do more DD-oriented stuff, but unfortunately, a lot of people I play with, nighttime is the time.

Yeah, well, it makes sense, right?

Like, if your job isn't content creation, why the fuck would you play DD during the sunlight hours?

You have, like, shit you're supposed to be doing.

You have kids you're taking care of.

You have work you're supposed to be doing.

Like, it just is tough because I really do want.

I have had several opportunities where I could have been, like you, where I could have, like, gotten into a group, but it was always like lots of nights, maybe multiple nights a week.

If we're, it's like, I can't do that.

I'm also the rare exclusive night owl.

Like, even right now, I'm feeling like slightly out of it.

I hit my peak around like eight or nine o'clock.

I'm like, oh, I'm so awake.

Let's do whatever.

It's three in the afternoon, just for context right now, where we are.

So, like, I don't get mark level of drive, but the closest I get to your level of drive to work is definitely evening and night.

During the day, I'm just dragging along existing.

This is basically your 4 a.m.

No, not quite that bad.

Like, I'm awake after noon usually, but like the first four or five hours of being awake, I'm just kind of like, like, how people feel when they don't have their coffee yet?

Because I don't drink coffee.

So I'm just perennially in that until I hit my like.

You should try coffee.

Wait, you should try coffee.

I don't really want to start adding.

I don't know.

It's not really good for you.

No, that's not bad for you.

They say it's pretty good.

Having like multiple energy drinks a day levels of caffeine, like hundreds and hundreds of milligrams of caffeine.

Oh, probably not very good for you.

Says the guy with an energy drinks to him.

But like one coffee in the morning to like get going.

Actually, not bad.

And coffee is a lot of antioxidants.

Yeah.

They say.

You do have acid reflux.

So I know people with bad acid reflux can have, you might have to get like low-acidity coffee to enjoy it more because you might have a bad reflux from it.

But they make that and like it works.

I have a friend I knew who had like the worst reflux.

I've like everything gave him reflux.

He just eats like plain rice because of but low-acid coffee also worked and he could enjoy his coffee.

Interesting.

I don't know that I'll be a coffee drinker, but maybe I'll try it.

We also just get like decaf because that has a tiny, tiny amount of caffeine in it, and it might give you a boost.

If I'm not shaking violently from the amount of caffeine I had, I don't even feel like I'm alive.

I've cut back on pop too quite a bit though.

Oh, pop.

Soda, whatever.

My little soda, pop.

My little soda.

You've been watching a lot of K-pop demon hunters?

That's like James's fa golden is James's current favorite song.

So we have a lot of dance parties to the K-pop Demon Hunter soundtrack.

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Can I talk to you about my unwavering natural charisma?

I don't know if I'll be able to withstand your assault.

I know, right?

Can I unleash this upon you?

So I've been playing that stupid mobile game right.

Yeah.

Did I tell you any more about it since I started talking?

The last update, Your group, clan, whatever, had folded into another one and you had been folded into the leadership structure.

Yeah.

Okay, anyway, so I started on

a new server because I was like, I bet I can run things better than these assholes ever could.

I'm going to show them.

I'll start my own guild.

I'll start my own guild with my own rules.

I'll do it my way.

Fucking instantly number one on the server.

Like from day one, our guild has been number one on the server because I'm the fucking best.

And I am giving them lots of challenges.

Free play, right, buddy?

So it turns out all you need to do to get people to call you king and boss and chat is give them lots of diamonds.

And boy, do they love the diamonds.

That's so fucking funny.

But we're number one, baby.

We're number one.

But it cost?

About $150.

I'm going to assume it's not per day.

It's per day.

I'm not spending all my time.

Hey,

running your own kingdom is expensive.

I get it.

It's very expensive.

Don't worry.

Soon the profit will turn around.

You'll start making it better.

Man, it's going to get back up.

Anyway, I don't know what's wrong with me.

I need to go.

Dude, I get it.

Listen, I was the mobile game guy for a while.

I get it.

It's easy to get sucked in and like, oh man, this is...

That streak of wanting to be at the top or be the best is definitely there.

That's why they work.

That's why they work.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so with this one, like, they're all such helpless sheep, and I need to lead them like the greater herder shepherd that I am.

A herd of Mark.

Herdum.

I'm going to herd him, all right.

No, I.

Oh, you poor bastard.

But additionally, I have charisma, and they definitely follow me for that.

Yeah, it's them with charisma.

Yeah, that makes sense.

You get a bonus to your charisma by giving out diamonds.

Yeah, it turns out money is

two on the wall.

That's so funny.

Anyway, yeah, that's my new game.

I really need to stop playing that game because I really need to get back to learning.

I was there with Raid, Raid Shadow Legends Guilds, man.

You know, I had a campaign for that, and

I never played it.

I got super into it, but uh,

very big money pit.

Very easy to fall into that one.

I've been trying to find a thing to get addicted to that I could give money to.

Because I had mine.

I'm not above it, but I haven't played Valorant in a long time.

My thing for a long time was I played Counter-Strike, and then I got into Valorant because of competitive 5v5 shooters, and I would buy skins.

I must have.

I've never actually quantified it.

It's probably an embarrassing amount of money in Valorant skins.

Easily 600 or 700 bucks total, probably.

Because like, I would, I would generally, I would not, and maybe I'd buy one single one off the shop for like a few bucks when they went on sale.

But then they had a few sets in a row where it was like, for a hundred bucks, you get this whole set.

And I was like, man, all of those are fucking great.

And this will be the one time.

But I haven't had anything.

Like, I've been trying to get addicted to something.

Then the sun cost fallacies are real.

As soon as you put like your first two bucks in, you're, you're in.

I've even been trying sports gambling.

This sounds, this is a terrible take, but like, I like sports and I feel like I would like, like, I know you just lose money.

I know that's not, and but I'm like, I feel like I would enjoy sports gambling.

Like, it's fun.

You can think about the game.

You could make ridiculous, you know, prop bets or whatever they call them, parlays.

You bet on anything you want.

It's like, and you just, you'll just always lose because the more complicated your parlay, the more guaranteed to lose it is.

I don't even like that.

Even when I win a sports bet, I'm like,

well,

I don't need, like, I don't know.

I need a vice.

I look at vice, man.

The vice that for me is in these games, it's not so much about me buying for me.

It's they, and this game has a gifting mechanic.

That's what gets me because I really like you know, other people getting things, other people playing.

So there was an event that just happened on the main server that I'm on, and it's like, suddenly, there's nine more things I can get from, I'm like, maxed them all out immediately.

Yeah, they were cheaper, but it was like, yeah, we should take Mark shopping with us or something.

I love gifts.

All of a sudden, I do, too.

I would, I would.

I buy you guys dinner all the time.

That's true.

Like, except for the auto mall.

You want to go cars?

Man, my rental is looking good.

We don't have a car.

Yeah, we got to get you a car.

Yeah, that sounds great.

I'll get you both e-bikes.

I wouldn't, well, I do have an e-bike, but I would enjoy one that was a little more casual.

I have an e-bike that's just a bike that also has that.

And it's not, it's like really tall because I'm huge, but I really want like a Super 7.

I want one that looks like a motorcycle.

I've not been on a bike of any kind in probably 10 years.

It's a good way to get in shape.

Even if it's an e-bike, as long as you pedal, like you're still getting some kind of workout, then yeah, you could do that.

They are fun, though.

I recently tuned mine up and ruined it for the first time in a while.

We don't live in a great spot here to like ride it anywhere useful, but it's really fun.

Oh, you know, that reminds me.

It was like Amy showed me alt park i didn't know about alt park it's a great place is that where the hobos went to to to sex

what

the no what are you talking about wasn't there a whole bit like 10 years ago where when we were in la it was like that's where the homos people go to alt park is in cincinnati oh

that place you never leave

see this is why when we did the cincinnati episode we did such a terrible job because i didn't know about alt park I guess I still, I've never been there.

Cincinnati is quite nice.

It's one of the best park cities in the world.

It has incredibly maintained and beautiful parks everywhere.

I just never knew they existed.

Yeah, I never really did park stuff until James, but pretty much everywhere we've gone, anywhere in the city or in the suburbs, it's like, wow, this is beautiful.

A related note, isn't there also like a, there's a really beautiful cemetery here.

I forget the name of it.

That's not Alt Park, but it's.

Is that Spring Grove?

That medicine.

No, that's down by UC.

I don't know if that would be beautiful.

That one's.

There's one that's apparently really big and beautiful.

I think I've been there once, but it's been since like 2010.

I don't remember the name of it.

It might be Spring Grove.

I went to this, right?

We were taking Chica and Henry out to random parks all over the place.

There's one of the biggest dog parks I've ever seen in my life by these huge soccer fields that is just like by Lunkin.

And then there's another one that this park behind a gold star.

Just randomly on this back row behind a gold star.

I'm sure that it has a name in it.

Everyone knows about it, but it was like, it's one of the prettiest parks.

There's like a circle in the front, two things in there, and a huge nature trail going through the whole woods there.

And then in on that road, the main road is like, I'm looking down, and there's, it's like this amphitheater style, but grass, like it's a grass that's been cut, but then it goes to tall, like wildflowers, and it's just the trees funnel down.

It looks like an amphitheater.

It looks like intentionally does.

I mean, it's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

And I'm like, this is just behind a gold star.

There's a lot of people.

I mean, the nature center where Molly and I got married, that's a beautiful place.

They've got beautiful walking paths.

There's all kinds of parks.

I'm sure there's some I've even missed.

There's parks behind churches.

I swear they hide some of them intentionally so people don't know about them.

Cincinnati has incredible features.

Why didn't we name any of them in the episode where we talk about Cincinnati?

That's not what we do.

We got to name the ones everyone talks about, Kings Island.

And that's it.

Did you know Cincinnati used to, they sold it recently, own a railroad that stretched from Cincinnati down to Louisiana?

No, they don't know.

The entire railroad.

The city did?

The city did.

Yeah.

And they just sold it a couple years ago.

It was on a vote.

I wasn't here for it.

You guys probably voted for it.

We could have been railroad people.

A couple years.

I wasn't, I just got here.

Right, right.

You might have voted for it or against it.

I might have.

Yeah.

Anyway, it was one of those propositions that you're supposed to read up.

Anyway, they sold it for $1.5

billion.

We could have been railroad folk.

We could have bought that.

I've always dreamed of running a railroad.

Well, they sold it.

It was controversial because they'd owned it since like the 1800s and it had been making cincinnati money yeah i wouldn't i wouldn't have wanted to get rid of that well and i'm a little s i mean i know that railroads can be privately owned but i'm a little surprised that they could because that sort of thing part of the problem modernly with railroads is that um to make them the government has to seize land right like they use eminent domain to just take people's property or get huge easements on people's property that doesn't work so well in the modern world where everything is pretty, especially around cities at least, everything's pretty jammed up.

There's not like, it's not like there's just empty space and no one is using it.

But yeah, so that they had a bunch of property tied up in that as well, which is why it was so valuable.

But it's crazy that they could just convey that to a private party.

Yeah, for $1.5 billion, you can do a lot of things.

I feel like they could have got more.

Yeah, that's what a lot of people are saying.

But it went into a trust that has since appreciated in value.

It's like $1.6 billion now.

And already there's been tens of millions.

It's allocated to like road repair,

bridge repair, public services, things like that.

So it's actually, I'm not sure 100% of the science, but it was working out for Cincinnati.

Road repair this year has been kind of brutal.

We had a really tough winter last year and the roads got really decimated this over that course.

I feel like this year I've seen so much more road construction and so much more that needs it.

They were working on a thing years ago.

I don't know if it ever came over.

Did we talk about in the podcast where they had like the self-repairing road somewhere in Europe they were trying to work on?

Maybe.

This sounds like technology.

Are you sure?

You want to bring this up?

Yeah, because I was like, that sounds great.

Why don't we have those?

I don't know how expensive they are to make, but the road apparently like somehow defaults back to its original shape whenever it's done or something.

Whenever it's done, done what?

It could have been bullshit.

It could have been snake oil for it.

I assume it must be heat-related or something where it's like, if it gets good direct sunlight and warms up, it will reform.

re-deform.

It will shape itself back to some.

I think the roads that I wish worked out that I think they just didn't work out technologically.

Have you guys ever seen roads that are also photovolta cells?

So the road generates electricity.

I have seen that.

Solar electricity.

Have you ever seen the paved the sidewalks that are little pressure generators?

So they like their little moving plates.

Oh, that's cool.

It's cool.

Apparently, horrible maintenance on those things because people, people not only walk on them, they spit, they drop gum down there.

So it's like, if anyone's been anywhere where humans walk, they realize like, ah, no, they're they're not perfectly clean they got dog poop on their boots you know so I don't think that looks good in Germany near Cologne the Durabast test road was opened D-U-R-A capital B capital A capital S lowercase T again test road was opened which uses an experimental asphalt mixture that can repair itself when micro cracks appear repairs cracks and potholes on their own using various technologies like micro capsules steel fibers and induction heating sounds pretty fancy for a road

not gonna lie.

Yeah, but like how much money is wasted just redoing roads?

Wasted?

You mean go into the pockets of those respectable construction?

Well, sure, well, they could be constructing other things rather than just the same road they already built, probably.

I'm not saying take their jobs.

I'm just saying there's a lot of things that need maintenance that probably don't get it.

I think the thing that's annoying to me is the efficiency of road.

Because the thing about roads is they're kind of without knowing any of the science of it.

Roads are like consumables, right?

There's no such thing as a road that never needs to be repaired.

Roads are beat to shit inherently.

They have like some of the heaviest stuff on them all the time, going really fast, putting really weird loads and moving loads and all kinds of stuff engineering-wise onto them.

It's not like if we just made all roads out of like concrete or some like really hard metal or some mystical material that doesn't exist, that they would still just never be repaired.

It would just be a matter of like, oh, well, this one doesn't need to be repaired for several years longer,

but it's 10 times more expensive to put in and you can't repair it.

You have to rip it out and replace it.

Like,

the thing about asphalt is it's not very hardy, needs a lot of repairs, but it's super fucking easy to put down fresh asphalt.

It's not as much of a

like installing roads with technologies, installing roads with induction heating in them, anything that involves little intricate stuff you have to install and needs to go the whole length of whatever, like however fucking fucking long roads are, the cost is outrageous.

And just dumping down some fresh asphalt and squishing it into place is, if there was a better way to do it that made financial sense, they would, because they would make more money if they did it in a more efficient way.

But it sucks that it's like in Cincinnati, at least, it feels like there's no major roads that I use that aren't partially, totally fucked by some construction where it's like, eh.

Even like getting here today, I got like, I went a path that was like, why did I go here?

Road closed.

You go 18 miles this way to go around.

Did you use navigation?

I did.

It led me right to the road construction.

That's not very good navigation.

Maybe you should switch your navigation.

Yeah, it's that stupid rental navigation.

Is it Apple Minutes?

Are you doing the built-in car navigation?

I tried it today.

I don't know that I'll go back.

The built-in car one?

Yeah.

Oh, well, no.

Oh, honestly,

those are interesting, but they're still just never going to be as good as the live ones.

But like, my car has really fancy...

It has live traffic, it has live learning, it tries to do all the stuff that like Google Maps does, but just doesn't do it as well because turns out it's made by a car company and not a maps company.

Yeah.

Oh well.

What were we talking about?

Oh, ways to improve the show.

Right.

D and D.

Okay, that was one.

You know how we improve the show?

Yeah.

Shows like late-night shows have staffs of like hundreds of people.

We don't have enough hundreds of people feeding us things to talk about.

You know where we could get hundreds of people really quickly.

Go bear staff once a show goes off the air.

Sorry, sorry.

Sorry.

I laughed because it was dark, not because I'm like, haha, yeah.

The fans.

Oh.

Well, we're not going to pay them or anything like that.

No, yeah, yeah.

It's a, we'll pay an exposure.

There are no fan labor laws, as far as I know.

I like that.

I like that.

What does staff do at those shows?

Honestly, I'm not sure what 100

150 people do on a show.

It's a show that airs five nights a week.

So probably like some number of them write the interview questions.

Oh, for that show specifically?

I'm not going to say skim off the top.

That sounds like I'm making an accusation.

Yeah.

What do you think?

What do you guys ask about staff in general?

So you're one of those types that wants Jimmy Kimmel off the air.

No, Kimmel's fine.

He's fine.

Oh, so you met me.

If we're going to go into it, I'll go into it.

No, I do not think people should be taken off the air for that.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Tell me more.

Nope.

Look, I've met Mr.

Kimmel.

Let me tell you about him.

I didn't really talk to him.

No, I never met him.

He's fine.

I was a Craig Ferguson guy.

I love Craig.

Who's Craig Ferguson?

You don't know Craig Ferguson?

He's a Scotch guy.

He had the skeleton.

Jeff was a sidekick.

Jeffrey Peterson.

Jeffrey Peterson.

The late, late show with Craig Ferguson.

Jordan Peterson on as Jeffrey.

Jeffrey Peterson.

The skeleton.

Yeah, nut.

Ah.

I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

He had the harmonica on his desk, the little snake mug, I think.

The bits.

He's got lots of bits.

He sounds like amazing.

He's CBS.

He always did the CBS Carriers, but one night his studio was leaking water just actively.

So he had a fucking bucket next to his desk catching water leaks from the ceiling.

That was like a really high-budger show.

It was better that it was like that.

Honestly, it was just so, it was very funny.

He was my favorite late night host by fun.

Anyway, whatever he did, we should get some of his people.

Okay, his staff probably got nothing going on now.

We probably get some of them.

Colbert's off, he's got to be off the air like in the spring or something.

It's it's canceled, but he's

through the end of his contract or however it works.

Canceled.

So, when do we get his writers?

Yeah, well, we just get him, get him to our show.

Yeah, he's probably not busy.

All right, cool.

Stephen Colbert is going to fix distractible, yeah.

Okay, so that's idea two.

Okay, Stephen Colbert.

I like that.

Idea?

How to improve the podcast?

More More boats.

That was your idea last time.

Still in my boat.

I said more D and D.

How quickly we forget that.

That's true.

That wasn't one yet.

He won and two.

What are your ideas, mister?

I'm the host.

His idea is to make it better.

I don't see a chart of this.

I have it all up here, man.

Let me tell you, you are weirdly ahead.

I don't know how.

Well, I definitely don't have any ideas.

Okay, but you're strangely ahead.

All right.

This is how we fix the podcast.

We may...

Sex.

Get Mark Stilts.

Naked Stilts, Mark.

It's not your turn yet.

Oh, okay.

It's not your turn.

You just point at me and say, he's pointing like rhetorically.

Yeah, well, I don't care about that.

You were just saying to me, roll back.

He was like, well, you come up with an idea, Dumbo.

You stupid ears and your dumb face.

Make him say those things at me.

Hey, Dumbo, your stupid ears and your stupid face.

How'd you do that?

Holy shit.

What the fuck?

That edit was crazy.

That's good.

they made your mouth move and everything anyway sex we need more sex appeal all right i'm not gonna lie i haven't been working out

i have been working out it just doesn't do anything

i got years and years of working out to catch up we need more like this game that i'm playing boobs um got it isn't there none in the game Editors, give us all big anime titties.

Whoa.

We do them.

Yeah, we don't have to do anything.

They just need to be on screen.

Yeah, that's all that matters.

Like old school.

Old school.

Old school.

Which school did you go to?

New.

I assume it's old school because I do it differently and I do new stuff.

Back in the day, they showed a lot more clear.

Before we had hot tub streams, we just had super high-angle down shirt stream angles.

That was a big thing.

Is hot tub streaming still a big deal?

Listen, there's no demonetization on Spotify, so we can do whatever we want.

Really?

Yeah.

Here's some nipples.

They're male nipples.

Whoa.

Well, so what else sells?

What else sells?

Drugs.

I don't really want to do ballpark franks.

That's just ballpark franks.

That sells.

Yep.

That's what they say: sex, drugs, and ballpark franks.

That's what Led Zeppelin was famous for.

Did any of us go to marketing school?

No.

No.

No.

That's philosophy.

What is marketing school?

Yeah, shouldn't your answer be, well, I say philosophy.

So I basically understand how marketing works.

I understand the nature of things.

So that includes marketing.

JP was in marketing.

I know someone was in marketing.

He did marketing for the Tampa Bay Lightning.

That's real marketing.

Call him up.

Like, actually?

He's not going to.

Well, he might answer.

He's probably like...

playing soccer or whatever he does.

Yeah, he's probably busy.

He's young too.

26.

He's got a whole lot of marketing ahead of him.

That's straight up.

We could pay him less because he's so young.

Or none.

Pay him in fun sposure.

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So, is the show fixed yet, or do we need more ideas?

We need more ideas.

What were you saying about stilts?

Some stilts for you, so you could be the same high as Bob and I.

I think what's really popular right now is very current and up with the trends.

Travel vlogs.

We need to get some big backpacks and take this show on the road.

Okay, all right.

That's what I'm doing.

I'll do that virtually from my house.

No, no, we have to go trek around and climb mountains.

Yeah.

Yeah.

People love that.

Especially the cold places.

Lots of snow.

We should do this podcast in the snow.

Have you guys seen Outdoor Boys?

Yes, of course I have, even though he retired.

Distractible, but it's minus 20 degrees Fahrenheit and windy.

We have to dig into the 15-foot snowbank and craft our own cave system so we can survive the night.

And then we do a podcast.

And then we talk about the same inane bullshit we always talk about.

Play will have so many more views.

You in?

My cardboard cutout agency will be with you shortly.

No, you don't have a choice.

You're going.

Yeah, you're outvoted.

So we're doing that.

Listen, you'll hate it, but that's even better for content.

Great.

The more miserable, we got to be more miserable.

People like it when people are miserable.

Yeah, but we have to have the whole spectrum, right?

Wade will be the absolutely miserable one.

One of us needs to be kind of upbeat.

I don't know who would be better for that.

How upbeat can you get?

I'm the upbeat one and the miserable miserable one.

Yeah.

I'll ask you.

Just ask you.

You could do both.

All right, cool.

You're pretty unhinged.

You could definitely do both of those on the same one.

I can be unhinged.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, that's good.

And Mark and I are just there.

Yeah, we're there.

Okay, so I'm the upbeat one, the unhinged one, and the miserable one, and then you guys are just there.

We're there.

Probably in your trailers the whole time, having a good time.

No, we were going to be there with you.

That was so convincing.

Okay, all right, man.

I think we're doomed.

We see a better promotion.

That's what we need.

It's a better promotion.

I have something.

I could go anywhere in the podcast to fill that gap.

Did you see the video of the sinkhole in China?

I did.

You did?

That was crazy as shit.

Play this video.

It looks fake.

It looks, yeah, it looks super fake.

Like when I first saw it, I was like, oh, is that like really good AI video?

Is it?

No, it's real.

Because there's like multiple angles of all the...

Fucking crazy.

And it just terrified me.

Because sinkholes in general terrify me.

But that shit just kept going down.

Yeah.

And down.

And meanwhile, all these people.

What is this about people?

Just standing there.

Oh, yeah.

I'm five feet away from this 50-foot chasm.

Jesus.

Exactly.

Just look in the middle of the.

It's just going.

It just goes.

Yeah, it just goes.

That's the thing that makes it look fake, too.

Because I've seen videos of that happening in other places.

And it's always like, oof.

Oh, no.

There's a stick.

This one is just like, it's getting sucked into nothing.

Yeah.

And like the foundation pillars of the buildings around it the dirt is getting sucked out from around them and it's like it's if i was anywhere near there i would have got the fuck out of there so fast i don't know how you fixed that because what people were saying what people were theorizing there was no concrete answer what it was is that there might be an underground river there yeah it had to be something was getting washed away right there was so much material missing which i know in conceptually i know underground rivers exist because i in heist we filmed in a cave with an underground river in it and it was running water there.

But conceptually in my head, I don't, I can't fathom the idea that below us right now could be an underground river that we just don't know about.

And that in this city, there was just either this big empty space that no one knew about.

Why don't we know about that?

Why don't we know?

Well, and that's the thing, too.

In the city, you can see in some of the videos, the pillars holding up the tall buildings are in there.

They clearly did some kind of surveying when they they built that stuff.

Probably they dug, they drilled down and put those in.

They backfilled that.

At least some of that material was something that

they put back in or they brought in to like make the foundation of the building.

And then something deeper underneath that they somehow had no notion of existing was just like removing huge amounts of material until it gave way.

It's crazy.

What blows my mind is like, I think people, when they hear bedrock, they think of like Minecraft, bedrock being.

Can't get through it.

Can't get through it.

There's no need to think about what's below to the bottom.

But when bedrock, in terms of earth terms, it could just be a big arch or a dome over something

or nothing.

You know, there are underground caves everywhere, everywhere.

And so the idea that there's just

we could fall into a sinkhole right now.

We just do an episode where we just dig down till we find a sinkhole.

It could be a whole series.

We try and go find sinkholes in very populated areas.

We go to the houses of other famous creators and we just dig holes in their yard until we find a sinkhole.

Okay.

To show them it's not safe to be there.

Do you understand how you don't find a sinkhole?

Make a sinkhole.

We would.

Yeah, we'll make one.

Oh.

I don't know if digging is going to make it.

We'll bring hoses to make rivers.

Yeah, have you ever seen those guys where they dig holes with a pressure washer?

So they have like a big

vacuum, and then they have a pressure washer, and the pressure washer like just turns the dirt into mud.

And then they just like suck the mud out.

But the pressure washer also cuts really clean lines.

So they're like,

and they like, they can make like pretty big, very precise hole.

Basically that, but we'd sneak in beforehand, do that underneath, you know, and then when we come in, we're like, oh, let's dig here.

See what happened.

And then,

what happened?

And then their house sinks into it.

Hopefully we all survive.

Yeah, will we be down there when it sinks?

Well, we all will be wearing harnesses.

And hard hats.

Walk into the house with a harness and a rope leading back out the door

the everyone else is like

just don't worry we're here from distraction it's just insurance for the show like they make us do this i'm sure it'll be fine and then as soon as as soon as one of us starts digging the rest of us are just like pull me out pull me out pull me out

okay this is gonna help the show for sure that would be some content

that would be good anyway so yeah it's uh the video i don't know if you saw towards the end of it where that silver truck was.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It made it.

That silver truck lasted.

Everything else is collapsing.

How did the truck last?

I don't know.

There's a truck that's sitting with like two wheels in the hole, just like barely holding on for dear life.

And literally like the concrete around the truck.

Yeah, like, you know, divine protection of this truck.

But I don't know.

That was a while ago.

I thought for sure.

I was like, that truck is so gone.

That truck was not gone.

That truck was absolutely not gone.

Is this like, when did this happen?

It was this morning.

No, yeah.

A day ago.

Yeah.

It was very recent.

Oh, it was very busy.

It was like the

Yeah, like a day about it.

That's okay.

I mean, it's just it's just world news.

It's not, you don't need to keep up with it.

I don't keep up with world news.

You don't know what's happening in the world?

I live in the

tiniest bubble.

Do I have some things to tell you?

I know a thing that you know about something that happened that's outside your house.

Joe Burroughs hurt again.

Oh,

man.

He had to have toe surgery on his little toes.

His careers have ended over this particular injury.

Like it says it's very it is like a really particular and crazy injury because the hit that hurt him looked totally fine.

He was being tackled and one guy had his leg.

The other leg that nobody was touching is the one that got hurt.

And it's like a ligaments that hold your foot together, basically, right?

He like popped a ligament in his foot that affects your ability to like use your toes and have balance or walk or run.

And he has to have a surgery to repair it.

He had the surgery now.

Yeah, yeah, he did have the surgery.

But like he's basically out for several months at least, possibly until next season at this point.

I wouldn't put it.

Even if we were winning, it's like

that's a potentially career-ending injury.

It's like you don't rush back from that.

Yeah, but at least, hey, in the last game, they did.

No.

I know.

No.

I know.

You mean the franchise is worst

loss ever?

Even when it's pain, it's records.

I only saw the first quarter of it, and I was like, they could turn it around.

So the Bearcats, the UC Bearcats, they, two weeks weeks ago had the craziest game I'd ever seen.

They put up like 50 points in the first quarter.

Didn't they play shorter quarters in the second half to get it over with?

They might, they should have.

It was, they won 70 to nothing against Northwestern, and 56 of their points were in the first half.

That's tough.

I was like, oh, Since that football's back.

And then the Bengals had the worst loss in franchise history.

I was like, oh, Since Night Football's gone forever.

This might be rumor or something, but I swear I heard that in the Bearcats game, at halftime, the refs went into the other team's locker room and were like do you guys want to play like shorter quarters in the second half and just like i'm looking around

that but like if they're good with it yeah i don't i don't know if that happened or if that was just i thought there was a mercy roll kind of thing for

high school that's i remember that's tough i remember milford losing like 98 to 2

when we went there it was pretty rough

there were definitely like 70 to 7 games we were not not a good football team.

No, no, no.

That's probably a couple of good years, and I think we're back to being terrible again.

Well, they put all that money into the news.

Football this past weekend was a hell of a thing, though.

There were possibly more blocked field goals in this past weekend alone than I've actually watched in the rest of my football watching.

I've never seen a blocked field goal.

There were two in two different games returned for blocked and then returned for a touchdown.

One of them swung the entire fortune of the whole game.

It was one team was up by like six, and they were about to kick a field goal to go up by nine.

So it's like a two score.

The field goal was blocked, returned for a touchdown, and it went from them being up by two scores to the other team being up like 27, 26 with like a minute left.

But then I don't remember what happened.

They still won.

I think they hung on.

Yeah, I think they didn't they block another one?

Yeah, that's what happened, right?

That was the Jets game, maybe?

Was it the Jets?

There was, we were literally watching the game, and

they also had one.

There was like, they blocked a field goal, returned it for a touchdown, and the other team was pushing, and they just needed a field goal.

And I was like, what if they block it again?

What if they block another one?

And they fucking did.

Wow.

It was a

crazy weekend in football.

It might have been the Browns game because didn't the Browns beat one?

They blocked one and then the Green Bay Packers.

Oh, yeah, they beat the Packers.

God, that's amazing.

16-10.

The Packers are supposed to be like one of the best teams in the league, and the Browns are the best.

The Browns' defense is great.

Their offense is the opposite.

Yeah, well, I can't believe Joe Flacco is still alive, but good for him.

He's still alive, he's like 40.

I know, he's playing, he's playing in the NFL, and he's like middle-aged.

That's true, yeah.

He's he's he was a good quarterback, and clearly, he's still good enough to do it because he got them the win.

But, like, man, he's been doing it forever.

I feel like I watched Joe Flacco when I was a kid.

We did, basically, like it's a long career, anyway.

Crazy football, not the Pengles, though.

Fucking,

and we play on Monday night this week, so everyone's going to watch

Go Mangles.

Yeah.

Set more records.

An even bigger loss.

How many interceptions can Browning throw?

Yeah.

How many interceptions did he throw?

I think he threw two in this last one.

They had a bunch of turnovers.

I think two of them went interceptions.

When I was watching, not to keep the sports I going up, but when I was watching, I noticed in the, because I know it's the first quarter and some change.

Every single snap, it was like someone from the other team was just

right towards him every single time.

Yeah.

Every single place.

We have invested so much time and capital into trying to improve the O-line, and they're the exact same as they were like five years ago.

Turns out it might be a coaching issue, or also it turns out we just have no idea how to pick O-line.

Like, we have O-linemen who are objectively good because of their track record and their careers, but are now in Cincinnati and can't do anything ever to save their lives.

And I don't know enough about football to be able to do that.

Something happens to corners and O-linemen.

If they come to Cincinnati, they can no longer perform.

It's a chili, they're allergic to it, just like me.

Yeah, they're all eating too much skyline.

That could do it.

Maybe.

Maybe it was like jet propulsion.

We probably should wrap it up because

maybe that camera died a long time ago.

We would never have known.

We're down to like just Wade's camera filming.

And we're like, we can't use any of this.

All right.

Anyway.

All right.

So there was probably an episode out of this.

Maybe three.

Two.

Okay.

I'm going to flip this.

It's the only thing I have.

Coin.

Does it have markings on it?

Yeah.

It says DJI one and DJI the other.

All right.

DJI, I win.

DJI, Taylor, Wade loses.

It's slightly different.

See, it's like one's just pure black.

One's this.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, cool.

All right.

Okay.

So you got this one.

I got the fancy side.

Yeah, because it's like you have like lots of dots, like hair.

And this one one has nothing.

It's bald.

Bald.

It's bald.

Perfect.

All right.

Ready?

That's a hell of a flip.

No!

Bald.

All right, Wade, you win.

All right.

Hey, everyone.

Welcome to another episode of Distract Him.

Oh, wait, that's not how we do it.

Thanks.

What the fuck?

I was ready to start.

I had an episode ready.

Do you?

Fuck no.

At least he's on.

Did you?

No.

I didn't even know I was hosting today.

I thought it was coming over at Bill

You think I knew I was hosting right now?

Once he told you, oh yeah, I think you knew.

That's fair.

Anyway, Bob loses.

It was nice to just...

Does this count as a podcast?

Because I would like to just hang out and talk about random stuff.

It's really fun to just do this.

We don't get this very much, but like, it's fun in person.

I always underestimate how different it is in person.

It's nice to just, like, sit in the same room and talk.

Yeah.

Well, you got to build that D ⁇ D chamber.

Yeah, it'd be great for a lot of things.

You build it.

I will bring myself.

That's great, that's a heck of a deal.

That's true.

Oh man, yeah, just what I want.

Okay, all right, we're wrapping this up because we've been recording for way too long, and probably most of it doesn't make it in.

So, thank you, everybody, so much for being a part of this podcast experience.

Um, be sure to follow it, or we'll kill you.

Uh, have a good day,

podcast out.