The Pee Covered Episode

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This episode of Distractible is presented by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet.

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Good evening, gentle listeners, all watchers, and welcome to Distractible.

This face-to-face episode, Microscopic Mark, Lords's Lady, explains internal fermentation, then explores sentience, mortality, mukbang, and guilds.

Wide-angled Wade drinks Mr.

Iplier, has a sartorial scrape, but regales with RPG antics and raid.

Biologist Bob Minmaxes admits Pavlovian water sports, requests one-shots and splashes on skins, from editorial issues to serious sporting injuries.

It's time for the pee-covered episode.

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Whoa!

It's time for Distractible.

It's time for another episode where we're in person and we have purposefully placed me not in the center so I don't look tiny.

I don't look tiny, right?

You look huge, man.

Huge.

Huge.

I'm huge.

Right?

Hey, What were we saying?

I zoned out.

You can be supportive.

Why can't we be supportive?

We can be supportive.

I just zoned out.

What do you mean you zoned out?

How did you zone out?

We're sitting five feet away from each other.

I just started talking loudly.

Jesus Christ.

You guys are talking about tech and I zoned out.

We know you're talking about the podcast.

Literally.

No, you were like 40%.

You can zoom out.

I was like, oh.

It's the hardware of how we make this podcast.

Yeah, I know, and I was bored.

You could edit an episode if you had to, right?

I think we should make it while you'd edit an episode.

I think that would be remember when you had Tyler edit an episode of like you'd be like that these days.

That's pretty good.

I'm actually editing 10 years.

The process was funny to watch, but the episode was fine.

It has been 10 years since I've edited a video.

Well, then time to dust off the skills.

I'm just saying there was no skills then.

Look, if we were both rendered incapable and then Sam

died in a plane crash.

I mean,

fell asleep forever.

Lived in a plane crash.

Okay.

Sorry, Sam.

And then all the other editors also became incapacitated, and there was no one except you to make sure that episode gets out on time.

Retirement!

Mr.

Spotify is calling your landline at home and telling you, we need distractible.

The episode has to come out.

No, it's a landline.

You don't have voicemail.

We don't have one of those.

We're safe.

I just assumed he would have a landline.

Landlines can have voicemail.

It's called an answering machine.

It's not a voicemail.

Oh, right.

You have to have an answering machine where I guess you do still leave a voicemail, technically, probably, but like you get a message on your answering machine.

Do you know when you have to call your answering machine?

Dude, those were cool.

You could call in and you punch in your secret code.

We never had that, but

I saw that on Seinfeld.

I did that on Seinfeld.

That was cool.

How old are you guys?

I don't remember that.

Literally, your age.

Yeah,

we're about the same.

Sure, Mr.

Zone out.

Yeah, I might look like Uncle Fester, but I'm the same age as as you.

I don't know.

He doesn't have no tech.

He's got some boomer tendencies over there.

But you know who doesn't have boomer tendencies?

Our Gen Z audience.

Hit him with a Zoomer joke.

Do you ever just be in Ohio putting off a lot of Riz and then you drop your phone in the skibbity toilet?

No cap.

No, that's not.

Well, actually, is that Zoomer?

Yeah, I think.

That sort of covers more a broader generation.

I feel like lots of people use no cap, cap or no cap.

Look, that was not a good thing for me to set Bob up for.

And I like Captain America, so I'm not a fan of that language.

What does that mean?

No, Cap.

Hey, Cap.

No, Cap.

Captain America killed people.

I don't like Captain America.

I'm a fan of that language.

No, no, no.

He killed Nazis.

I love Captain America.

He should do more of that.

As you may know,

I don't have my notebook so i can't score anything so we're not gonna do any scoring thank god that we didn't have to host right because i don't have one either i don't have a coin i have my stuff my my normal stuff is like right over there i could i could get my coin get my i think my d20 i think we just need to like take a step back from the rules of distractible and just chat It's convenient that you're the one hosting and you want to do that.

Yeah, it is.

It's not convenient for you winning.

It really works out.

I can lose.

I'll find a way.

Maybe someday you'll want to win, man.

Maybe someday.

No.

That's the secret.

It's like Wade's incredible Hulk secret is he just never wants to win.

So when he does win, he's actually really disappointed because then he has to host.

Sometimes, sometimes.

Sometimes I have ideas.

About once a year.

Yeah.

Sometimes I have Mandy's ideas.

That's the only thing that's.

Sometimes I have Amy's ideas.

Yeah.

That's actually the secret of Distractible.

We We barely come up with ideas for a spectacle.

People keep suggesting that they should be the ones hosting, and they're not wrong.

They're not wrong.

The girls should be the ones hosting.

I mean, Amy came up with 90% of the video ideas for Unus Anas.

That was 90%.

I believe that.

Just cranking ideas.

So Idea Machine really earning the creative producer type.

Well, it's really funny.

We were hanging out, and I forget one of you guys.

I forget, it might have been you.

We were just hanging out talking, and

like someone was like, God, remember all the really good distractible episodes like the escape room look and you just listed all the episodes that were like mandy's ideas that i took

and she was in there she was in the conversation she was just all

those are good episodes

she can quit the research foundation just become an idea person that would really be great for this podcast See, I put effort in and people forget I do bread and everyone's like, the cannoli episode, a classic.

I haven't bought enough fridges to to have any more classic episodes of my own

don't worry the most perfectest crime is coming guys oh yeah we've man we've seen the the technology of a whole assembly line going into making i've seen the board with the the pins and the red yarn linking it all together man it's gonna be crazy when that happens today

nope not today uh so we haven't been together in a while um ohio has changed uh in ohi's skyline now has chicken chili i haven't tried tried it.

What did you say about it?

Groundbreaking?

Tasted exactly.

Earth chattering.

Oh, exactly the same.

However, you want, though.

There is a new development.

I am allergic to Skyline.

Yeah, that's so weird.

Do you think it's because you had said that thing about the yeasty fermentation thing, or do you think it's just an allergy to something specific?

Is it your yeasty permutations?

Yes, my yeasty permutations.

I see, I see.

No, what he's

saying.

there's this thing for some people, I don't know how common it is, but where if you have your gut biome, which is bacteria, if you didn't know, your gut is just basically a whole bunch of bacteria, right?

Okay, there's intestines in there.

It's not all just bacteria.

Okay, it's lime.

My body's just a sack full of juice and bacteria.

You know, so people in the summary go like, I hate when they explain things on an experiment.

Oh, and mitochondria.

That's where your power comes from.

Yeah, yeah, which is basically a bacteria.

That's why we spit on our food before we eat it so we can digest it outside the body, then put it in, and the bacteria is like, go where you need to go, little fellas.

That's, I don't know what he's talking about.

Someone banned this movie.

You extend your probuscus,

you vomulate on your food, and then you ingest the

pre-digested...

Fuck, I shouldn't have tried to say that word.

Fucking pre-digested.

Not a good one.

Anyway.

There used to be a theory that you see by shooting rays out of your eyes.

Is that why they invented ray tracing?

Well, that's a funny thing because it's the same process.

You can tune out.

This is going to be technology talk.

Don't we see by rays of light going into our eyes, not out?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's technology talk right there.

Calm down.

Oh, I learned that before that, though.

Anyway, talk about your ray tracing, right?

No, I'm talking about the gut, right?

We'll get to that later.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, so rays of your gut.

You know, food goes in, bursts of sunshine,

energy, right?

But there's yeast in things, right?

So yeast is used, well, certain types of yeast, probably.

Is it yeast?

I mean, yeast is used for anything that ferments and also in any sort of like, what's it called?

Certain types of dough, yeasted dough's.

But what was the sun in the palm of my gut?

Remember that Spider-Man movie?

I don't remember that Spider-Man movie, but I remember another one with a similar quote.

You know, I fancy myself a bit of a scientist.

I fancied a a scientist once.

I'm a fancy scientist.

What are you talking about?

We slip in universes like

sudden changing Spider-Man quote.

If you think that shit gets unhinged when we're all talking on the delay of internet and we can't physically interact with each other, we've done this before.

You know what happens.

Yeah.

Gut.

Gut.

Gut.

Yeast.

Gut.

Yeast.

Maybe not yeast.

If you get a change in your gut bacterium, you can produce alcohol because it's bacteria that ferments

rye.

So if we give you Skyline.

It ferments sugars.

Sugars.

Sugars fermented alcohol.

Sugars.

So we give Mark Skyline, then we put a little, like one of those barrel tappers in them.

We could just drink alcohol straight out of Mark.

Yeah.

Get a hose in the top of Mark, just Skyline coming in, and then get a hose out the belly button.

Vodka.

And soon.

And then there's another whole, that's convenient.

I don't want to drink.

What if we open a brewery and Mark is our drug?

I don't want to drink Mark's ass juice.

I'm sorry.

All right, fine.

My belly button.

Okay, whatever.

I have a scar below my belly button.

Well, she's that.

Yeah, tap into that.

That'd be great.

But that is actually what happens.

You ferment alcohol.

You ferment sugar into alcohol in your gut and you get drunk because it's already in your gut, so you absorb it right away.

So you're like perpetually drunk because your body just won't stop.

producing alcohol.

Which has another layer of joy for someone who has a sensitivity to alcohol in your system.

Yeah.

So when I had Skyline, and the secret ingredient of Skyline, and I'm about to be assassinated by Mr.

Skyline, but the secret ingredient of Skyline is yeast, right?

They use a lot of yeast in their chili, which gives it a certain flavor.

And

maybe that's fermenting an alcohol in my gut.

And I know some biologist is going, no!

No, that's not the right one.

This is just a theory.

I can't even say it's like a dream theory.

It's just a theory.

We did not put that much effort into the theories.

That's really insulting, Matt Pat.

Mark had it.

Mark thought things.

I bet.

He had ideas.

Some idea board for Matt Pat's office.

There is a body theory to Min-Max, like working out bigger loads.

That's his next adventure.

He's going to start a podcast and write a book about Min-Maxing body.

That's just a theory.

A sex theory.

I'd watch that.

What's the theories?

I don't know.

It's on Matt Pat's board.

How to be good at sex stuff.

I don't know.

Today we're going to talk about what you should do with your hands.

Alright.

Are you trying to go in like this, dude?

Should I put my hands in the air like I'm being held up at gunpoint?

No.

I just wondered how he's going to rope five nice and fretties into it.

What was the FNAF to like was it that Chica that everyone loved?

Was it Bonnie?

There was one that like people like.

Yeah, wasn't it not the messed up old Chica, but the new Chica from the second one that everyone got real horny about?

Yeah,

easy to tie into that.

How would you have sex with a robot?

How would you do it?

Program a hole.

Dump programmers in the fucking.

No!

No!

It works!

You can't program a hole.

Not with that attitude.

You wouldn't download a hole, would you?

Whoa.

No, you upload.

Whoa.

You know, you wouldn't download a car.

Well, you don't know about cars.

All right, man.

I literally drove here.

Yeah, in your rent.

Anyway, what were we talking about before that?

Guts.

You're allergic to Skyline.

Right, I'm allergic to Skyline.

And it's not a severe allergy, but if I eat Skyline, I get a flush that is similar to when I would drink, just like if I had one Shmirnoff ice.

Shmir?

Is it Shmir?

What is it Smirnoff?

Is it Shmirnoff?

It is Shmirnoff.

Oh.

Okay.

I thought I had something to add, but he's right.

That was it.

It was Shmirnoff.

Yeah, anyway.

So that's the

goal.

Does that mean it's Schmike's hard lemonade?

Oh, yeah.

Wouldn't it be Mike Schnard?

Damn it, you're FFO smarter than me.

Mike Shard Lemonade.

It connects the words together.

Mike's hard lemonade.

It makes you say like a pirate.

Mike's shard lemonade.

Or like it's more like a boat captain, but whatever.

Yodie, don't you do.

Don't say that.

That's what I was SpongeBob.

Yeah, you know what that was?

That was Mr.

Krabs.

That's what that was.

SpongeBob, me boy.

We're going to have some Mike's shard lemonades.

Yodie, dirty, dough.

Yeah, I remember that episode, probably.

Weird product placements in that show.

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I have a bold proclamation.

Okay.

I have never had so much pee on my skin as I have in the last several days.

What?

Given that I know what human pee.

I know what event you were at like a few days ago, and I'm kind of curious what might have been going on.

Oh, that's the one.

You don't want to know.

You don't want to know.

No, actually, right on Monday of this week, I think it was kind of an accident, but it it ended up happening on Monday of this week.

We've been trying to potty train James for a while.

And it started with just like, we'll just let him sit, like, we'll let him sit on the potty, we'll try and catch him.

And there are a bunch of strategies that are really intense.

Like, one of the strategies is he just doesn't wear pants or a diaper.

And whenever he starts peeing or pooping, you just grab him and go,

and run to the bathroom,

which sounds like the most insane shit I've ever heard of.

But

the strategy that we have gone with is set a timer for like, it started at 15, it's at 20 minutes now.

You set a timer and you slowly lengthen the timer.

And every time the timer goes off, James goes to the bathroom so that it's like he hopefully doesn't have an opportunity to go in his diaper.

You get in there and if he sits and if he goes, he goes.

If he doesn't go, it's fine.

It's like you make it fun and you have like books and you hang out and he gets rewarded for going and being good.

Is this like Pavlov's dog in this?

When he goes to school one day, like the bell goes off for next period, he's like, oh no, the timer.

It might.

Okay.

We're unsure about the Pavlovian things that we're building into our son.

But this is one of the methods that like it's online.

People are like, it works.

But I trained my kid in one week.

But he's been doing really good.

He likes it generally and he does generally what he's supposed to do.

But he does not care if his pee is aimed into the toilet.

And so if you're not paying close attention, because like I set him on there and I get him situated so it's good.

But he sits there and he wiggles and he does stuff.

He might stand up and sit back down.

And by the time he actually does go to the bathroom, a lot of times you're just standing there, and all of a sudden, it's just like,

ah, whoo, ah, get that, aim it down.

But he's doing really good, and he's making progress.

Got to get potty trained so he can be ready to go to preschool because he's a smart kid and he's going to need more mental stimulation.

He needs to learn.

He's pretty much only happy if he's learning shit, which is awesome, but exhausting when it's like, okay, it's 45 minutes till bedtime.

I'm exhausted.

And James is like, tell me about every animal in the Sahara.

And I'm like, God, I only know like five.

That's why you did so good on the animal part.

Yeah, no, I literally, the Quetzalcatus, I know, Quetzalcatus, whatever, that dinosaur.

I know so many more animals than I ever did in the rest of my entire life because James will just be like, tell me about animals.

And I'll be like oh what about penguins and he's like I know about penguins keep good new ones

God I don't know I gotta go study

and I wasn't ready for the pop quiz

that's delightful just make up animals that's dangerous you remember shit

I mean authors do it all the time have you gotten into mythical animals yet uh not so much that actually is an interesting thing he sort of developmentally he's starting to get to the place where he like

understands that stories exist in like other worlds, kind of, but he really doesn't get that all stories aren't just like things that happen in real life all the time.

So, the cra like we Manny and I both really like Nightmare Before Christmas, classic movie, enjoyable movie, terrifying for him.

He loves the music.

If you just play the music, he's all this is all it is a terrifying movie, but like the visuals of the movie and the characters of the movie,

he is immediately just like, oh, we had a thing where we just, we showed him like, Nanny showed him like the first minute.

And after stuff started happening on screen at the very opening of the movie, he was like, it's scary.

It's scary.

And for like a week afterwards, every time he went to bed, we like do the whole thing.

He's all happy.

We read books.

We put him down.

We're like, all right, good night, dude.

And he's all.

I'm scared of Halloween.

Oh, God.

And we're like, it's not real.

It's okay.

It's a movie.

Those guys can't hurt you.

The timing's bad because Halloween's right around the corner.

So that's probably going to work.

But like stuff he sees in real life that might be scary to other kids, he's actually pretty chill about.

Like he thinks we go to like Menard's and home stores and stuff and they have those huge witches and things.

And when we're at the store, he's like, ha,

giant witch.

And he thinks it's awesome.

But in movies and stuff, if it's too creepy or like Nightmare Before Christmas, it's very like...

stylized and but if that existed in real life or a hocus that would be scary because I was hocus, but I was scared of

Billy, the guy with the sealed mouth.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

He was scary.

Wait, how old is James then?

James turns three in December.

Oh, so he hasn't achieved consciousness yet.

True consciousness.

I don't know what that means.

Yeah, when did you achieve consciousness?

Oh, I don't have any memories before I was like,

actually, like three-ish.

But he has two memories of being four.

He's had object permanence since he was born, so I feel like...

Hardly counts.

I feel like that's exactly what that is.

Oh, no, not true consciousness.

You got when your first memory, you've got when you realize your own mortal coil is slowly shrinking.

And then 25, when your frontal lobe seals up like a trap.

It seals up and stops growing or doing

it.

Well, it can shrink.

It just stops getting any bigger or more interesting.

Oh, yeah.

It's leaking.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, you're not going to get any shorter like some people do, but your frontal lobe is going to be.

I saw your head slightly tilt towards me, man i saw it like it's like no i didn't do i you're not getting shorter you're you're in the prime of your life

i mean saying the word short doesn't just always mean it's about you on the bell curve of self-actualization i'm on the wrong end of it now okay what does that mean that means i'm slowly losing myself the music the moment

you want it you better never let it go I always say I said bitch you better never let it go is it always says

I'm not enough I'm not an authority on that you might be right do you know the Eminem Yes, I know the M ⁇ Ms.

I like the peanut butter ones.

Sorry.

Fuck it.

I do, though.

Peanut butter MMs are the superior kind.

Peanut Miner.

I don't like that, Ethan.

I don't dislike peanut MMs.

Yeah, anything that kills Ethan?

I fucking love that.

Man, I love guns.

That dude's scissor whip.

We just let guns kill him.

What an idiot.

One bullet.

That's all it would take.

Those stupid gun MMs we couldn't eat on tour.

You remember that one show we walked in the green room with PNO MMs and AK-47 just stacked up on the

table in the bag and we were like, get things out of here.

Ethan will never make it.

Did you say what's going on in your life yet?

Nope.

Oh, cool.

You're just not participating in the middle.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, it's a distractible shirt.

I had to.

I was going to say I had to kill people to get it, but I don't really want to make that proclamation.

No, it was just sent to me.

Oh, that's true.

Yeah.

The fuck bus.

What?

No delay, you guys speaking.

One of us speaks at the same time as the other, and so does the other one.

And we say the same thing.

None of them are riddles or rhymes.

Man, you really sounded so at the same time there.

I only heard one voice.

Yeah, it sounded like just I was talking.

All right, what's going on with your life?

Uh, I hurt my foot, got real infected, was real scary for like a couple days because I was like, At what point do you go to the doctor for infection?

Like, when you just get like a scrape or a cut, it's like it'll heal.

You haven't been to a doctor for that?

No, I mean, it's getting better, right?

So, like,

it looks like I would have already gone to a doctor.

A couple days ago, it was pretty shady.

It was pretty.

How did that happen?

I got fitted for dress shoes and I wore them.

They did not work properly.

When you got fitted, did you tell them?

Yeah, well, no, I told them it was like, actually, it was a little bit loose in the back.

I was like, God, my foot's kind of like sliding out a little bit.

They're like, oh, no, no, no, these fit.

Just make sure you slide all the way back, then tighten the shoe.

And I was like, I've put on shoes my whole life.

I feel like I've done that correctly.

And they were like, oh, the problem is you're wearing these temporary dress socks because they try them on.

The real dress socks are thicker.

I'm like, they're really not, but okay.

Were you buying a suit at a fancy store where they assumed you were going to have like merino wool dress socks or something?

They sold me the dress socks.

Oh, so they should have.

Well, the real dress socks are thicker.

Sell them these fake ones.

Well, no, they have the little crappy things that like you try them on with, right?

The little like, put these on.

They're closer to dress socks than your real socks.

And they're like panty hose or something.

But they were like, oh no,

you're going to be perfect.

It'll be great.

And then like within an hour of wearing the shoes, I was like, this is unusual.

I've walked in dress shoes before.

Ow.

Did you slide your feet all the way back before you tightened them?

I sure did.

My right heel was all bruised up, but there was no blister or anything.

Left foot was just like, fucking

die, bitch.

And then, man, it felt like it.

But yeah, it got real swollen, real red.

No other colors.

It wasn't like green or anything.

I kept checking that.

You discharge your puss.

Oh, a lot.

Yeah, that's concerning.

It was like three days of.

And you didn't, you didn't go to the doctor.

Check in on that or even like text.

you know, how you can like message your doctor and be like, hey, my foot's really infected and stuff's coming out.

I was busy.

With what?

You're not telling us what you were doing.

I don't know, just busy.

It's not interesting.

You wouldn't want to hear about it.

It's very busy though.

The thought in my mind was, I might need a doctor, but like, I also don't want to go all the way to a doctor for a little scrape.

You could do it on your phone.

On your phone.

I text my doctor all the time.

My doctor texts.

He's an older dude.

Well, you don't have the app or like my chart or anything?

Like, my doctor has to be able to do that.

No, no, I've been talking down to that for years.

I never did.

Okay.

Well, it's

me, you gotta be.

You know what?

That's on me because that's technology.

And I should know better.

That's true.

No, but it was a little sketch for a little while.

No, that looks bad, dude.

I would have definitely like at least

a doctor.

This is almost perfectly healed.

Two days ago?

That does not look great.

That looks like it probably felt real bad.

I don't know how a shoe did that to you.

Well, it happened, and then I wear it.

I had to wear them a couple days in a row.

You went forward and tied it.

Yeah.

It was like an inch back there.

Yeah,

it was not a good time, but we're doing okay.

Other than that, what did I do?

You were busy.

I was.

I lost it.

Very busy.

No, can't think of a thing.

What the fuck, man?

What the fuck?

Do you zone out of your whole life?

I mean, just smoking.

I'm doing stuff.

Do you have that click remote?

Do you accidentally keep fast-forwarding through bits of it?

Sometimes it feels like it.

Are you fast-forwarding right now, and we wouldn't know it?

That would make a lot of sense.

This is 100% a moment I would.

What the damn

I might have just said that for the bit.

I might not have.

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All right, fine then.

I guess we'll just circle back to whatever the hell else is going on in the world.

Fun stuff, right?

Only good things.

As far as I've heard, I don't listen.

I listen like Wade listens to the news.

Yeah,

there's no real way to address the news, is there?

There's new iPhones came out.

How about them, huh?

Yeah.

That's pretty fine.

It's not really time for me to get a new one.

Well, I have a 15, so it's like almost a couple years old, but also it still works perfectly fine.

Oh, oh, sorry.

Whoa.

I had a thought, and my thought involved me jerking for some reason.

Do you need to get it out?

No, I can wait.

I was just sort of

bantering.

It was not very interesting.

You can go.

It's not that interesting, but it was something I did.

Don't Why don't we just let him go for it?

Yeah, no, I want to know now.

I pre-ordered the Switch 2 finally.

And by pre-order, I mean because I'm getting more comboed with the new Pokemon games that are coming out.

So I'm going to be playing Switch 2

soon.

I don't know when it comes out.

I should check the receipt.

I think it's October or something.

What month is it now?

Scroll the internet and you go, oh, Pokemon.

Much worse.

I did it in person.

I'm looking for that one.

How do you even

went to a GameStop and pre-ordered in person?

What is it?

2008?

I still have the GameStop card from you have a power-up card?

I do, yeah.

Oh, man, do you pay for your power-up subscription annually?

Probably, because I've never canceled it.

This is great.

I love this because not only did you go to a GameStop and buy this, but you didn't pay attention to anything else.

Tunnel Vision.

Big posters on the wall.

They're like, Pokemon, come in October.

During the time they told me the date, but it was in an hour.

You didn't listen.

Yeah, probably.

Man, what do you do at restaurants?

I don't really.

You're sitting there looking at the menu and the waiter comes over like, hey,

welcome to Red Robin.

Would you guys want to order your drinks?

And you look up and you're like, what the fuck did you say to me?

Who is this person?

Why are they talking to us?

It's getting to the point where I'm going to be like the next 10 years, I might.

I'm just so distractible.

This is where if we had like a midpoint of the show, we would freeze frame and then we would come back out of the car.

that'd be really good we don't do that though so it's just

you're just still here you know other shows do that where they have like sound you know this is why we're falling in the charts because other shows have like sound bites going into the act even after our vicious attacks on those above us we're still falling

yeah oh this is your guys fault i can't believe we've done our part i can't believe none of those other shows got canceled after what we threw out there

right the shame of them you think that would have pushed them up the internet i thought amy poller be running for the hills after what you said.

I fear that we may have only given them promotion.

Yeah.

And made ourselves look foolish in the process.

Yeah.

We should talk shit about our show because then that'll give us the same promotion.

And we know lots of things about our show.

Yeah.

I don't.

I don't know a lot.

Yeah, no, you don't.

You guys are going very touching.

That's the thing.

Like, one of the hosts barely even exists.

I think one of the hosts is secretly a cardboard cutout most of the time.

Like a partially sentient cardboard cutout that can just say some things sometimes, but has no idea what's really going on.

Yeah, exactly.

That is such a good idea.

You're not going to remember it.

You don't even know what we were just saying.

He said something, Wade's probably cardboard cut out.

He meant me.

He didn't say it.

Yeah, we definitely meant you.

It was very obvious.

I agree.

It probably would be me.

Well, if we're going to have some kind of structure, then I guess we got to talk about,

I guess, the world.

The Maltese Falcon.

I don't know.

It's from some show, but it came out of the world.

It's a movie, isn't it?

Isn't Isn't the Maltese Falcon like an old Humphrey Bogart movie?

Like, wherever it is.

Maybe.

I think maybe.

Anyway,

it's like an old.

Isn't he like an old school classic American actor, Humphrey Bogart?

Like before our time, by a while.

Like black and white.

Meh.

I watched the classic movie.

Come on, honey.

Was he the Frankly my dear?

I don't give a damn guy or is that someone else?

One, I think that's.

The movie experts out there like, no, don't get a gay guy.

No, yeah, no, right?

Because that's, is that from Casablanca?

No, that's, is that from Casablanca?

No, that's not from Casablanca.

He's in Cat,

I shouldn't talk about this.

I don't know anything about Humphrey Bogart.

All right, then.

But I'm pretty sure, frankly, my dear, I just don't give a damn.

Like, is the wrong quote, but it's what everyone says too, but I don't know what the real one is.

Frankly, my dear, I just don't fucking care.

Everyone gets your Darth Vader quote wrong, too, the no, I'm your father one.

People say that one wrong, too, actually.

You know, Amy was listening to the episode where you guys shortened famous quotes and said it was one of the funniest things that she was.

You guys,

Film me!

It was really funny.

Like, chilly dad or good.

Was that the?

I'm ready for my close-up, Mr.

DeMille.

Yeah, that was.

I gotta do, man.

Honey, remember when we had good ideas?

No.

Maybe we should just come up with ways we could improve the parts.

We should just do more part twos and threes.

Some of those episodes are bangers.

I know, right?

Why do we keep coming up with new ideas?

Dude, I love stealing your guys' ideas for part twos and threes.

I'm gonna keep doing it.

I know, I know.

All right, we gotta brainstorm how we can be better.

Oh, is that what we're doing now?

No, no, no.

Do you have an idea?

Well, I was just going to say, you've been in Ohio.

You're allergic to Skyline.

I was thinking we could just talk about Ohio stuff.

But I think we've done that before.

It's the other thing I just realized.

No, no, we got to be better.

How do we be better?

Yeah.

What are those other podcasts doing that we aren't doing?

Go to lunch while filming.

We should do that.

That actually probably would be much better.

I'm so hungry right now.

I have not eaten yet either.

I wasn't sure if we were going to eat.

Mukbang.

Mukbang.

Oh, we would be good.

Between you and me, and you're a pretty good eater, but between you and me, we could have we could finish a mukbang, which I'm not sure if they do that or not.

Because on those videos, it always looks like way more food than any of those people could ever eat.

But I feel like we could do it.

We could win.

I thought just eating was a mukbang because it was a certain amount of people.

Well, aren't they all the like trendy mukbang videos?

It's like it's a whole fucking table of food, and then there's like two people, and they're like, mukbang, moo.

I'm not 100% sure where the concept of, I mean, mukbang is Korean and muk is eat, and bang is bang is room, I think, actually.

So it's like eating room or eat room or something.

Ah, my fucking phone.

Would you like me to do phone things?

Can you look up what the origin of mukbang is?

We could transition this to a restaurant.

Didn't work, guys.

It didn't work.

Excuse me.

Can we have these six tables so we can set up our filming?

No, people film at restaurants all the time.

Mok Nyon.

That's true.

eating.

Yeah, I don't want to be that thing.

Mok Nyon is eating.

Oh,

yeah, I don't know.

I shouldn't try it.

Ah.

And then Bang Song is broadcast.

That's what this says.

Oh, that would make more sense, yeah.

Mokbang.

Broadcast filming.

Eating.

The ones I've seen, because I'm not into mukbang stuff, is...

It's way more food than those people eat.

They just throw a bunch of it away, like guaranteed.

I don't waste food.

But we would eat.

I'm just saying we would do it well.

But you were going to say something about that.

I was going to say, there's multiple types of eating videos.

There's challenge videos where people eat a record amount or try to eat a record.

I need to lose weight, man.

I need to do the opposite.

Well, actually, these people are incredibly skinny most of the time.

Bastards.

Or good for them, I mean.

Fishman, you don't have to always be so mean.

I'll get them.

We'll get them.

Who are they?

Let's do an episode where we insult them for being skinnier than

we're going to skinny shame you assholes.

We're going to show you.

All right.

But the mukbang is just eating a lot.

I don't want to eat a lot.

I just want to eat some.

You always want to eat a lot.

No, I've been cutting back.

I've been cutting back.

I've been trying to eat less.

My window for eating is like noon to eight.

Or no, noon to ten.

Intermittent fasting.

Kind of, but more so because I'll get really bad acid reflux if I eat after like eight or eight.

I want to get to eight eventually.

Right now I'm stopping at 10.

Non-consensual intermaten fasting.

Intermittent fasting?

That's the coolest kind.

Yeah.

Well, it's better for it.

One, it keeps me from snacking late at night, and two, it makes me feel better when when I lay down.

So it just seemed like the right combo.

And it's like, if I try to get a lot of eating done in the middle, it's like, okay, I'll eat lunch, I'll eat dinner, and that'll be good for me.

I think we've officially run out of conversation topics.

Thank you, everybody, so much for being a part of this podcast experience.

Be sure to follow it, or we'll kill you.

Have a good day.

Podcast out.