The Cursed Episode

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Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible.

This episode, Wendy Wade mentions EA and ghostly gambling, then delves into horrible hexes.

Brief Bob picks on pedagogues, loves bonking, blowing off mowers, then brings up Bangles Bow, Crashes, and Dutchman.

Modest Mark drops an early F-bomb, vilifies Villeneuve, but identifies aces and limnick lakes.

From trashy teaching to Witch Finder Generals,

It's time for

the cursed episode.

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractible.

I'm today's host.

He's gone.

I guess I shouldn't have said those words.

I upset Bob already.

Why would you do that?

I was just saying I was today's host.

I was going to say because I won the last one, but I...

It just happened, man.

He just got robbed.

That was at least four or three days ago for everyone watching and or listening.

Like, time has passed for everyone else.

You know what they say?

Time is relative.

Someone smart said that once.

Hey, wait a minute.

It took way longer than I thought it would.

Sorry.

I'm back.

Hey, man, welcome back.

Yep, I should not have been hosting today, but I am.

And man, Bob should really have been the one sitting in this chair.

It's a nice shirt.

Oh, it keeps getting better.

It's a really good shirt.

You're getting an eye full.

Listeners, he's got a shirt on.

Don't worry about it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, it says

Dextractable.

They started teaching phonics again, I heard.

They tried the whole word approach, and you know, when kids couldn't read and not know what words were.

Have you heard about that?

Yes, actually.

There's a really interesting podcast series about how we got to where we are in terms of

teaching reading in America and why the current generation, the last couple of generations, have had such worse reading outcomes.

Do you know why they shifted?

Because they ruined element OP.

That may not be it.

The story, I don't, I listened to this a while ago.

The story basically goes, there was a woman who was a teacher, but was not like a researcher.

and was like, I think I know a better way to teach kids and just sort of came up with her own system.

And everybody liked it.

And everybody got in line behind it, and the book publishers got in line behind it.

And once the book publishers get lined up behind a certain pedagogy, that's the only thing that gets taught because they're like, buy these books, you have to buy these books, everyone has to buy these books.

Like this lady, I don't think it was malicious.

I think she thought she had a better way to teach reading because I think what happened was she came up with a different system than phonics, and she was getting good results, but she was teaching the kids who didn't learn very well from the phonics type of teaching, which obviously are kids who would benefit from an alternative teaching modality.

Like, sure, that makes sense.

But the kids, like the majority of kids, were learning fine from the phonics thing and they steered completely away from that.

And it turns out most people seem to prefer phonics and that this new way of teaching is really good for kids for whom that does not reach.

And it's like, not like it's an illegitimate thing.

It's just not the only way we should teach kids how to read.

But there's a whole series of like, I don't know, this podcast kind of sensationalized it, right?

There's a series of like, it's a conspiracy and they don't, the businesses were trying to kill the old ways of because they were just trying to sell these new books and make money.

I see.

It's an interesting story.

There's a lot to it.

It's like an eight-part podcast thing.

It's like it has a bunch of different parts of it.

I would love to listen to that at some point, but the whole thing is fascinating to me because

what it boils down to, this is oversimplification, but kids, when they get to a certain point in their education journey and they're like sufficient in reading,

they're guessing what the word is sometimes, especially if it's a complex word.

They're looking at the shape of it, and it could be calligraphy, and they might say it's like cartography.

You know, they might, they'll just guess what the word is and have no semblance of what the actual sounds of the letters make.

And so they have to, and that blows my mind because I can't imagine thinking that way.

No, I couldn't, I couldn't have learned anything like that.

In some streamers, I've seen it when they're trying to like read.

And for me, I've done this so much in games where I'm reading

the text in games and stuff like that.

And I'll get comments sometimes that are just like, wow, how are you doing that?

How are you reading these words?

It's like, I've read a lot, number one, so I'm better at it.

But it's also just like, I can sound out what they are.

So even if it's a new word I've never seen before, I know how to pronounce it based on my ability to.

know the English language and know its pronunciation rules.

And like, I can extrapolate from different things to get to new words that I've never even heard before.

And it's, I can't imagine not being able to do that.

It's like being robbed of this ability.

No, well, yeah, that's the thing.

The new, the new style of teaching is give them a book that's at or above their rating level.

Like give them something that's going to be full of words they don't know or haven't seen before.

And then use context clues and use.

uh and and guess basically and then you either are told yes that's right or no that's wrong but you have no there's no sounding it out tools tools involved in this teaching method.

I agree with you, it sounds completely unhinged to me, but but it works really well for some kids.

Some kids really need that.

I'm sure, I don't know if it has to do with if you have like dyslexia or other sort of reading, you know, whatever differences, but it's wild.

There are certain sound-based pronunciation roots in words that, even if you don't know what the word is, because if you sound it out, you might hear like graphi or, you know,

omiter, you know, you might understand that it's a measuring device outside of the omiter like lettering.

If you say it out loud that way, or someone corrects your pronunciation, you might know what it means just based on the sound because a lot of root words have similar sounds and like the Latin-based things.

I don't know.

It's just, I feel like a lot of people, kids growing up, they're going to get to this point where they're like, they'll catch up if they really want to read.

I feel like it's not learning doesn't only happen as a child, and then you get, I got way better at reading after I started doing YouTube.

Trust me, way better at it.

But yeah, I just feel like people will feel robbed, and that's unfair.

Ah,

fuck!

Interesting, interesting.

So the sentence was, someone will get better at reading.

Everyone gets worse at reading.

No, he said,

people will feel robbed, and that's unfair.

People will feel robbed, and that's unfair.

Okay, so if this goes well, we change the whole learning system for everybody, and

we will save everyone's reading ability.

But if it's doubly unfair, no one can read.

We'll rob everyone's ability.

That's all right to you, Bob.

Either we fix the learning or else we ruin it for everyone.

That sounds like the level of influence I expect us to have.

Okay.

This is really going to move us up those podcast charts.

Heads.

Tails.

Heads.

Oh, damn it.

Well,

well, coins out of the way.

Well, everyone everyone still can't read or whatever.

So, yeah, the learning system is what it is.

Gee, I hope nothing unfair happens the rest of the episode.

The host has free reign.

What have we done?

That's right, I do.

I'm guessing we're into small talk.

Mark, you brought up the reading.

Was that right?

Well, I mean, I mentioned it.

Bob had more input on it, I'd say.

I mean, yes.

That was all me.

Mark gets credit, yes.

You both just got some points.

That's fine.

Okay, well, we'll open it up to small talk.

And before I throw it over to you, because it's absolutely fair for me to have Small Talk as the host, you guys hear about EA selling?

I have heard about that.

Yeah.

$55 billion if it goes through.

Is it approved?

I heard they were trying to get that approved.

No,

it has to go through approval, which I think will go into like June of next year.

And then if that happens, then early 2027, the sale would actually be finalized.

Some group in Saudi Arabia, I forget the name of the group, but the Saudi public investment fund, Silver Lake and Affinity Partners, agreed to a $55 billion purchase of EA, which means

it'll be out of public market, and maybe that means that games could be made to be good rather than made for investors to be happy.

If there's anything I've learned in modern society, it's that private capital always fixes the problems that ail businesses.

Every business that's ever been bought up by private capital has turned right around and become absolute paragons of their industries, and nothing bad will happen.

So the curve is individual or small group makes great thing.

People love it.

Company goes public.

People can buy stocks and all of a sudden they've got pressures.

They've got to make money to make the investors happy.

Game goes

and then private company swoops in, buys it.

And then where does it go?

Better, worse, same?

It depends.

The only scenario I've seen where things go better is when the original group or person reinvests and brings it private.

That is the only time I've seen these things turn around.

I'm sure there are outliers.

I'm not an encyclopedia on all the business dealings that's ever ever happened.

But usually, if you, as a consumer, want a better experience, the original inventor of the said good product needs to be the person that goes back into it.

So, do you think Saudi Arabia, Saudi Public Investment Fund, Silver Lake, and Affinity Partners equal Trip Hawkins?

Maybe he's in there.

Maybe he's, yeah, maybe he's in there.

I can't say Trip Hawkins.

I don't know where Trip's at these days.

Trip.

Oh, look at this guy.

Look at that smile.

Yeah, he's definitely.

I didn't know EA was founded in like the early 80s.

Was it?

Yeah, I didn't know that either.

Yeah, apparently EA was founded in 1982.

Whoa.

That seems pretty early.

He was, oh, director of strategy and marketing at Apple Computer.

Damn, all the, it's, I feel like all these big companies have the same like 20 people that were in all of the companies doing all the things all at once, and they all just jumped around and did everything.

Not like today, where we only have like five people that are at the heads of all these other companies.

Well, no one cares now because they're all actually just owned by one large ultra mega corporation.

So it's all the same.

What are we talking about?

Games.

EA, the big sale of EA, and whether or not we'd make get in the game or whatever it is.

Get in the game.

Get in the game.

EA Sports.

It's in the game.

Yeah.

Well, I hope it works out for the best because, I mean, some EA games like, you know, some of the battlefields and stuff are fun.

I'm looking forward to.

But, man, like games like Madden and even the new college football just aren't nearly as good.

Maybe it's nostalgia, but like I remember really enjoying them when I was younger.

And then I tried playing them in recent years and I'm like, eh, it's kind of buggy and whatever.

And everyone loved the new battlefront when it first came out.

Maybe they like it more now, but boy, oh boy, whenever you had to pay money to be Darth Vader or whatever it was, loot boxes, unlock characters, people loved that.

Sure, sure.

So that's my small talk.

Just wanted to bring up EA.

Figured you guys probably had heard about it if I heard about it, but I guess I'm jaded because my main take is, can it get worse?

Maybe.

Always, pretty much.

We'll find out, I guess.

But they can't force me to buy anything that they make.

So like...

If you've bought an EA product in the last 30 years, you are obligated to buy every EA product for the next 20.

I guarantee you, there was some board meeting with like, what if we put in some like mind control images that make people want to buy more, like forcing people.

What if we tie people in chairs, take their credit cards and put it into the game?

What if we make their account name the credit card number and the password is

the secret code?

Plus the brand name.

It's like, you know, subliminal messaging every like 60 frames and you see, I'm having fun.

This is fun.

Anyone who's ever played an EA game is now a sleeper agent.

And anytime you hear the word ultimate team, you're just like,

gotta buy more Madden packs.

You don't even play Madden.

I know.

I love the packs.

I will tell you about a game that I've been playing that I have been enjoying.

I love Hades and Hades 2 came out.

And it is every bit as fun as the original.

It is so goddamn good.

The story is so tightly in there.

I don't even care what's going on.

It's just like, oh man, it's such a tight, fun,

specific

type of fun where you get the randomness, you get the roguelite-ish nature of it, the repetition.

It's easy to jump in and do one round.

I'm like, I'm just going to do one.

You continually making progress.

It's super fun.

God, it's good.

I've heard good things.

I've heard a couple of gripes about like how it ends or something like that.

A couple of people have like minor gripes.

But overall, I've heard mostly great things.

Well, don't spoil anything for me.

I don't know anything about it.

It's just people are, you know, people that can be happy.

Maybe they're right because I don't know, but maybe they're wrong.

Those are the two ways.

And it's made by a small team.

Supergiant Games is

the developer and they self-publish.

They only have 25 employees, you know.

But for a 25-employee studio, this was like such a beautifully polished, clean, like experience.

I've only experienced like two bugs in the entire thing.

And they weren't even game-breaking bugs.

Like, it's just like, oh, it's just so good.

Yeah.

No,

supergiant kills it.

Have you played

their other stuff?

I have not.

I remember Transistor when it came out, and I looked at it and being like, oh, it might be fun.

I think I.

Transistor was good.

That's very much like Hades, right?

It's very similar, yeah.

Top-down kind of exploratory.

Well, and Bastion, I would say, too.

You should check out if you really like Hades, both Transistor and Bastion.

Oh, yeah, that's definitely like, yeah.

So they've really mastered that type of game.

And I heard about Transistor.

I heard great things, but I just never got into it.

But when Hades came out, I think I played that just before COVID.

And it was, oh, it was so good.

I just remember slinging it every day.

And every night I play this.

Well, and I even, I have played their other one too, Pyre.

I forgot.

I have played that.

Also very good.

Hades is really their like breakout.

Like everyone loves Hades, but

their whole catalog is like, if you really like Hades, that's what they do.

It's awesome.

They're also good.

Which is why games like, you know, Video Game Developer Simulator don't make any sense because it's like they're always once it's the same game as before.

It's like, I don't care if it's the same type of game, if it's as good, if it's as fun.

Because whenever I get done with those games, it's like, I just want the same with new maps and new enemies and new fun characters.

And, but just do this.

Don't change it that much.

And that's basically what they've done so far with some fun additions on top of it.

It's like, oh, that's delightful.

Every time I come up on one of the surprises, like, I'm playing the same core gameplay that I like.

Whereas, like, with Diablo 3 and Diablo 4, a lot of people were like, wow, it's way slower, you know, and they got used to that fast speed.

And that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's like it is very different feel of it.

But these all feel the same.

It's like, snap, snap, snap, snap.

Oh, it's so good.

God, it's so good.

I haven't enjoyed a game in a long time, so I've been very happy about this.

No, it's it's a great feeling when you listen.

You guys have heard me talk about like blueprints.

You know, whatever the game is, I find that I'm in love with.

Well, we like good games.

Okay.

I mean,

I should declare unfair on what I just said, but I I can't.

You know, it's a too late.

No, wow.

Unbelievable.

Oh, man.

There's a,

I know it's easy to like this character in Hades too, but there's Narcissus, which is exactly what it sounds like.

That character is every time I come across Narcissus in that game, I laugh every time.

God, I'm not going to spoil any more of it, but very fun.

It's probably an easy character for people to like, but very fun one.

Do you close the door when you run into Aphrodite?

Bob, what's the day with you?

Same feeling and experience for me, but with Megabonk so far.

Megabonk.

I've heard about this.

Megabonkerate.

New top-down roguelite thing.

Wade has more hours in it than I do.

It's real good.

You definitely do.

Oh, we talked about this previous episode.

Yeah, it looks really cool.

Same, but I'm really into Megabonk.

And literally, I just, like, just unlocked something that has been on my mind all day today.

I'm like, man, I can't wait to get back into that and play that new thing I unlocked.

Yeah.

Wade, wrap up this episode.

We got a game to play.

Okay.

No, guys, I'm excited.

I'm making a commitment.

I'm buying a riding lawnmower.

Yes.

I am a Midwest dad living out his childhood fantasies.

We currently, we have people who cut the grass and like, that's very convenient, but I've always felt kind of like a lazy piece of shit about that.

Like growing up, my dad always cut the grass.

And when I was old enough, he had me do it.

And like, it's probably not that bad.

And we have a big enough yard that that's like totally legit to have a riding mower.

I'm so excited.

I have to go, I have to do some shopping.

I have to do some research.

I don't want a zero turn.

I want a tractor style.

I don't know how I got to make sure the deck's not too wide to get through the size gate we have in our fence.

All this fun stuff.

Like, I'm excited about it.

Are you going to like do something with the grass?

Are you just going to like spit out and sit on top of the old grass?

Are you going to collect it and like

unless I have to bag it if I let it get too long, but like I'll just I'm just going to mulch, mulch it and put it back out and blow off, edge, edge the edges and then blow off the sidewalks and stuff.

He's going to edge the edges, blow off the sidewalk?

Yeah.

Hell yeah.

God, it's like a party.

It's like a constant party over here, but I am excited to cruise around the neighborhood with a beer on my riding lawnmower.

So that'll be pretty cool.

I think everyone will respect me more after they see that.

I respect you more.

You haven't even seen it.

Just wait.

I haven't seen it.

Yeah.

Hey, listen, Mega Bonk and Duin stuff.

Those are two good things.

Hades.

I need to play both to compare, but in my brain, i'm like oh man do i have time for more than one roguelite at the moment probably not but i'll do it anyway maybe you will

yeah yeah you will well i also want to play dead zone rogue and jump space i've only gotten to play like very limited amounts of those games and then there's a new um game i think i might even stream it today in the past for everyone uh you guys heard a clover pit yes no isn't that like gambling or slots or something what is it something it's like a spooky gambling game Oh, hell yeah.

I think it's kind of like, I don't want to say Bellatro meets gambling, but what's the game with like the creepy face dude and you have the gun and you load the bullet?

Shotgun roulette?

Shotgun roulette.

It's kind of like a shotgun roulette meets a slot machine-ish kind of thing.

I don't know.

That's kind of the vibe I got from it.

Lover pip.

All right.

I'll get it.

You sold me.

Yeah.

It actually has a bunch of bundles.

It's got a inscription bundle.

It's got a bundle bundle.

Is it by the same people who did inscription?

It kind of has that feel to it.

And it also has Buckshot Roulette as a bundle, but it might be.

It has a very similar feel to those style of games.

Not scary, but like horror setting.

And if you screw up, you die or something.

Oh, maybe not.

Maybe the bundles are just Steam packaging things that it thinks are similar together.

That might be it.

Yeah, I'm not sure because I've not done it yet, but I've just, I've seen a little bit of gameplay of it and I've heard people talk about it.

I'm like, okay, I'll just give that a shot.

I'm doing it.

Good time for games.

We've had a pretty good year for games.

I have heard that there is many contenders for Game of the Year this year, and I think Hades 2 is up there, but I'm like, I'm hoping that there's other ones.

Blueprints won't be.

It came out too early and was kind of niche, but man, it would never be.

Should be.

Never mind.

It's because you didn't play it right.

It's because your controller was broken.

It's because you, you,

you don't know.

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This episode is brought to you by Uber.

You know that feeling when someone shows up for you when you need it most?

Yeah.

yeah we all need that sometimes and uber knows that uber isn't just a ride or a meal delivered it's showing up no matter what i think that might be them knocking on the door and because they're you know uber's really good about getting them right to where you are to them or the fbi i'm not 100

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All right, well, I've got some time for an episode, so I guess unless you all have anything else, I'm gonna do an episode.

And by episode, I mean you guys are doing all the work, kind of.

Sounds right to me.

What else is new?

It's October still, and I think we need to buckle down into the scary.

Into the scary.

Do you guys believe in

curses?

No.

Curse words?

Well, no, curses.

I cast fuck you.

No.

Curses.

Like the curse of Tippecanoe, the curse of the Bambino, the Kennedy curse, Tooten Common.

Maybe.

The Curse of Tippecanoe came into play.

I'm not sure exactly when the curse was like mentioned.

Every 20 years,

a president elected to office died.

That was starting in

1840

through JFK in 1960.

Every 20 years, a U.S.

president elected to office, died in office.

The Curse of the Bambino was when the Red Sox traded Babe Ruth to the Yankees, and then they went 86 years without winning a World Series.

And it was attributed to trading to like their most hated rival.

That'll show them.

And then the Kennedy curse is just a lot of bad things happened to the Kennedy family.

A lot of deaths.

A lot of deaths.

Tooton Commons tomb.

I've not looked into extensively as far as the specifics of what happened, but people who came in and disturbed the tomb typically had a lot of misfortune afterward.

And it was I've heard, I don't know how true this is, I've heard with that specific one that there was a type of fungus in the tomb that obviously when people went into it, they breathed in the fungus and the spores and things like that.

And it caused illnesses, fungal-borne illnesses in the people that went into the tomb.

Therefore, they went in the tube, they got sick, they went out and died.

I don't know if that's true.

It might just be a theory of how that happened, but I could totally believe that happening because you're in a tomb in a dark, I don't know how damp it is in there, but even some funguses can live in drier environments.

And, you know, it just, it's totally possible.

But yes, are we looking up curses?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just either ones I've mentioned, other ones, but we're going to talk about curses.

I'm looking at the Tutankham Commons tomb one.

Toxic mold theory is mentioned, but the primary figure associated with the curse, Lord...

Karn Carnarvon,

apparently died from an infected mosquito bite shortly after opening the tomb.

Infected mosquito bite, wow.

But some of the other people who died was attributed to natural causes or accidents, but the toxic mold theory is mentioned.

All right.

Are we taking turns on this?

Yeah, sure.

And that's fine.

This is a list of curses to say to other people.

Man.

Let's find funny hex curses is the thread, and I'm not showing shade on this, but unsalted pretzel, you're as sharp as a marble mother hugger.

For someone who is 70% water, you don't look very refreshing.

Damn.

May all your exes meet over tea and share gossip about you.

If you get to heaven, tell my grandma I said hi and that she made the best cookies.

That's not a curse.

May you always have a broken sheet.

These are

good pass.

May your blade chip and shatter.

Lisan al-Khaib.

That is a good idea.

I love the way Javier Bardem just owned that whole role.

The rest of it, like, okay, I like Villanovu, Villanova,

Villanova, Villanova, The College, Villanova, Nova, Nova,

Villa Vu Nanavu, right?

Ideally, greater

cinematographer, incredible shot composition.

There's no doubt about the art of the shots that come into that.

However, a movie can be entirely pretty shots, and there is some story there and some good storytelling, but it's just like there's a theme that goes through a lot of his movies where it's just like

music sting, big, big, beautiful shot, a lot of slow-mo, a a lot of fun.

It's like a particular vibe, and I get very tired of things very quickly.

This is

stupid of me.

This is not the point.

Pass.

I said pass.

I said pass.

No, no, no, keep going.

All I'm finding are

curses to say to other people.

May you bite into a big chunk of garlic so your mouth feels funny for the next few days.

That doesn't happen.

What are they talking about?

I don't know.

Pass.

Okay, go on.

Is it?

I'm sorry.

It might be unfair that I'm not letting you pass, but you can't declare it.

All right.

That's all right.

Okay.

Okay, fine.

I know a curse.

Fuck.

Anyway, no, Cincinnati has a sports curse.

It's not our fault that we can't win sports games.

The Reds are cursed because umpire Johnny McSherry died during a game on the field in 1996.

I actually don't know if it was on the field, but I did not know that that happened.

That is a terrible story, and I get why that might make a team feel cursed if it literally an umpire dies mid-game on during your game.

That is not ideal.

Also, there's the Bo Jackson curse, 1991 playoff game, Bengals, Bo Jackson, career-ending injury during the playoff game, cursed ever since.

But we did finally beat the Raiders in a playoff game.

Which maybe was the end of that particular curse, and then we probably have a start of a new one.

The Reds one, I I will say, the Reds, unrelated to the reasoning that you'd mentioned, they kind of deserve to be cursed.

Wasn't it just a few years ago that people were complaining about the product, and the Reds owner was like, Well, there's no other game in town, and we don't have to do anything because you have no choice but to watch us.

So, deal with it,

something like that, which is why, whenever we go to Reds, things, Molly wears her Minnesota twins here because she's like, Yeah, fuck the Reds.

I

go ahead, I finally found one Since then I curse.

Okay, Mark.

All right, so this one's a famous one.

A lot of people know it, but Dead Man's Hand.

Do you know about Dead Man's Hand?

A specific hand in poker or something?

It is.

It is.

So there was a gunfighter by the name of Wild Bill Hickok, which great nickname.

We should bring back these kinds of nicknames.

I want...

Actually, I don't know if I want the subreddit.

Wild Mark Fishbach.

Actually, don't.

You know, don't come up with nicknames for me.

I don't want that at all, actually.

All right, subreddit.

I'm looking forward to that thread.

A book was published in 1926.

The earliest reference to this was 1886, where the dead man's hand was originally considered a full house with Jackson Tens,

but then the Jackson Red Sevens was called Dead Hand Man's Hand by 1903, and then 1907 it became Jackson 8s.

But while Bill Hickok's hand in 1876, which was apparently before all this, was eights and aces, all black cards, and then the fifth card could be whatever, but it's eights and aces, black cards is

dead man's hand.

Now, I don't know if this has ever happened again afterwards.

It seems like he got killed with that hand, and therefore it became the dead man's hand.

Yeah, so if what hand do I not want to have right now?

If you get that, if you get aces and eights, all black cards,

aces and eights, you're going to die or something like that.

Is it aces full of eights or eights full of aces?

Eights in between aces.

Okay.

It's an ace eight sandwich.

So three aces, two eights, all black.

You know, that's why people are afraid of aces.

Because ace eight, nine.

Pass.

I have more.

I have more.

I have more.

Oh, apparently the only curses I actually do know anything about are all sports curses.

So do you know the Engready curse?

And or do you know the Engready family?

I've never met them, no.

We don't ever talk.

I'm kind of a motorsport fan, and we don't ever talk about that.

As far as I know, you guys are not big motorsports fans, but Mario Andretti is an incredibly decorated race car driver.

He won the Daytona 500.

He won the Indianapolis 500 in the 60s.

And his family, his sons, and successive generations have basically all gone on to, I don't know, about all.

Many of them have gone on to be very successful, very good race car drivers uh but mario's indy 500 win in 1969 would be the family's last uh ever as far as i know they since 1969 every andretti who's ever uh raced in the indy 500 has had breakdowns has had uh crashes crashed out has well there was one really dramatic heartbreaking loss uh that happened but they cannot win the indy 500, which is not a particularly meaningful race in terms of what it represents.

It's not like some grand championship or anything, but it's an iconic race.

Brickyard in Indianapolis, it's like a, at least for American motorsports, it's like the Daytona 500, the Indy 500 might be the only two races a person who doesn't otherwise know anything about race cars would have heard of, because those are the two big iconic.

Anyway, the Andrettes, legendary racing family, literally in several different branches of motorsport at the core of the best family of drivers possibly that's ever lived.

Having won another ND500, can't do it.

Curse forever.

Take that.

Damn.

I've got a curse.

What if you lived in a city that just suddenly started burning and it didn't stop burning for 60 years?

Cleveland?

Oh, 60 years.

Yeah, Cleveland's on fire, baby.

Take that, Cleveland.

No, I'm talking about the coal fire in Pennsylvania.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

There's a town of Centralia in Pennsylvania that since 1962 has started burning.

And it's just because there is a large coal vein underneath the town.

And coal, when it burns, it will ignite all the other coal around it.

If a coal vein ignites, there's really, really not many ways to put it out until the fuel runs out.

Now, imagine this was a town in like before common era times or even early common era times where you have a town that just suddenly erupts in flames for no particular reason because they didn't know that the rocks nearby would light on fire or something like that.

And it just kept burning.

And then that city became a cursed city because it doesn't, it's it's not exactly good air when coal is

gushing out flames everywhere in the city.

There's also like other chemicals and gas, not chemicals, really like other compounds that could burn and release.

Imagine the world's largest vape down there and you're roughing that and then uh yeah so that could be considered a curse both in this time now where this town is you know cursed forever to burn and then in the past there might be other towns that have burned just like this so for this particular one i've not looked into it extensively the coal was exposed which is why it's been able to burn because wouldn't if you just closed it up if it was underground you closed it up wouldn't it smother because it would run out of oxygen like how how did it burn for so long uh i'm not 100%

sure of the chemistry of it.

When you have coal like this, uh, depending on the arrangement with underground caves and stuff, it could technically pull in air from a completely separate area if there's any underground cave connections that connect to where the coal vein is.

And then it will, the gases it creates will push vents through the soil.

And so, I think that's what happens a lot.

You'll get a lot of sudden outcroppings of like smoke and plumes of fire will like appear here and appear here because it's it's a self-sustaining reaction where the heat it generates causes air movement to be pulled in and upward pushed upwards which draws it in from any lower terrain area and it'll it'll become a chimney basically and and create its own it's so large the the area that's burning that even if it were to stop having oxygen the heat alone would erode the dirt and stuff around it to the point where it could you know if you have like coal or you put wood in a tin box and deprive it of oxygen, it will turn into charcoal, right?

From the heat alone, and that is just more ignitable material.

So that the moment any oxygen gets in there, it'll poof, ignite again, and keep going.

It's just such a large fire.

And I may be saying some things wrong there.

In this podcast, we only ever say things that we think we know.

We don't know fully.

I'm probably not getting it exactly right, but that's what I've heard.

Correct us.

Make sure you go to the subreddit and tell Mark exactly what he said that's semantically incorrect or minutely wrong.

And what his new nickname is.

He wants to learn.

The fiery Markipliery.

I'll take it.

Actually, that's pretty good.

Thank you.

Give yourself a point.

Okay, you talked me into it.

Better hope for no golf rules.

My turn?

Oh, yeah.

Because I want to talk about the legend of the lost Dutchman's gold mine and the curse of the superstition mountains.

This one's actually just one of those old school, goofy-ass things.

So this dude, what was his name?

Waltz, something Waltz, Jacob Waltz, German dude, Dutchman, Deutsch, German, was, this is out in Arizona.

There's just a mountain range called the Superstition Mountains that's located in the Superstition Wilderness.

And

the mountain at the heart of it is called Superstition Mountain.

So this is just an area.

I don't know why you name something that goofy ass name, but that's what it's called.

And this dude, Jacob Waltz, supposedly, was out out there and found an absolute mother load, found a mine, and had his own secret mine that nobody knew the location of that was just a ridiculous mother load.

He was finding gold and gold and gold and more gold.

And on his deathbed in 1891, the legend is that he revealed the location to the boarding house owner who had been taking care of him and who owned the place where he died.

And everyone has been searching for the lost Dutchman's gold mine ever since.

The actual story,

people seem to think it's pretty likely that he actually just worked in a different mine called the Vulture Mine, which is an established mine with lots of, he just was a miner for a company.

And he was just stealing gold from them and then was like, oh, I have a secret mine.

This gold is from my super secret.

Nobody knows but me.

He was probably just stealing from his company.

But the curse is that apparently this legend made the rounds and a bunch of people were like, I'm going to find his secret mine and be rich and people went out into the superstition wilderness and some of them turned up dead some of them are said to have gone mad hunting endlessly for the lost dutchman's gold so it's the curse of the superstition mountains damn don't whoever names like i'm lots of stuff basically everything's named at this point who the fuck names something like oh the yeah superstition mountain that's good this is the superstition wilderness.

It's like, this is the extra scary forest.

Was it originally a different name, a translation, translated in English, possibly?

It was originally, I think, a native name.

There was a name for it in Yavapai, which is in language spoken by the Yavapai people in central and western Arizona.

There are four dialects.

So apparently, I don't know if this is a translation or an incorrect translation or just a new name, but even still, even if it was in another language, naming something the superstition wilderness is just setting it up for bad.

That's just a bad place now.

You could, if it was named the happy fun wilderness, it would have a totally different vibe.

That's just a really fucked up thing to do.

Then you could do the opposite naming where you just like happy tree friends and it's really horrible, you know.

Before you go, Mark, I have breaking news that will be dated by the time this episode airs.

Bob, I think I have to give you a point for this because you've been doing all the sports and Cincinnati curses.

Is Joe Burrow dead?

The Bengals just made a trade for a quarterback.

Aaron Rodgers.

Not Aaron Rodgers.

Joe Flacco.

Yes.

No, no, no, no, no.

They traded.

He's available because the Browns benched him.

No.

The Browns got Joe Flacco, who was a Baltimore Raven for his whole career.

He's like 80 years old.

The Browns, who haven't been able to successfully run the quarterback position at all, other than Baker Mayfield, had like a good year or two.

And now he's killing it down in Tampa.

Now Baker Mayfield's killing it.

For like 30 years, benched their quarterback, and the Bengals just traded a fifth-round pick for him.

They get a sixth-rounder back, but we gave a fifth-rounder for Joe Flacco, who just got benched by the British Brown.

He just got benched by the Browns because he wasn't good enough for Cleveland, who aren't even.

I'm looking him up.

You know what's funny?

You said he was like 80 years old, right?

He's like 42 or something, isn't he?

He was born in 85.

I don't think any of us can say that.

He's like a thousand years old.

For a quarterback, that makes him a thousand years old.

For sure for sure for sure i just want to point out all right so joe flacco a man who's basically the same age as us almost but looks like a grandfather is probably starting for the bengals this coming weekend is what you're saying because browning can't throw less than three interceptions per game by the time this airs I wonder if he'll be playing or not still.

I'm going to call it right now.

Joe Flacco is leading us to the playoffs.

Getting benched in Cleveland was exactly the wake-up call he needed.

He's going to remember to take his medicine in the morning, and he's going to show up in Cincinnati bright-eyed and ready to kick some ass.

And if he can throw one interception or less per game, he's definitely an improvement over where we are right now.

So, I mean, if it's any consolation, I think we do have a chance to get to playoffs.

And this is me actually talking about sports a little bit, which is shocking.

I know you guys is, isn't it just because the Ravens and Browns are also doing so unbelievably terribly?

Oh, they stink.

Our division is stinky, stinky so far this year.

Yeah, so there's a real good shot.

So it's possible.

This is either going to be the most dead-on, ridiculously hot hot take, or I'm going to look like an idiot.

But either way, it'll be funny in the future.

You in the future.

Look it up.

Maybe I'm right.

Maybe the Bengals are two and seven.

I have a passage, and I actually have to say, this passage is a little disturbing for people at home.

Ooh.

But this is true.

Absolutely true.

A first-hand account of a real life curse.

I could not speak.

I became unconscious.

I could not open my mouth because then I smelled something terrible.

I heard my daughter snoring in a terrible way.

Very abnormal.

When crossing to my daughter's bed, I collapsed and fell.

I was there until nine o'clock in the morning of Friday, the next day, until a friend of mine came and knocked at my door.

I was surprised to see that my trousers were red, had some stains like honey.

I saw some starchy mess on my body.

My arms had some wounds.

I didn't really know how I got these wounds.

I opened the door.

I wanted to speak.

My breath would not come out.

My daughter was already dead.

I went into my daughter's bed, thinking that she was sleeping.

I slept till it was 4.30 in the afternoon on Friday, that same day.

Then I managed to go over to my neighbors' houses.

They were all dead.

I decided to leave because most of my family was in Wum.

That's the name of the city.

I'm probably not pronouncing it right.

I got my motorcycle.

A friend whose father had died left with me for Wum.

As I rode through Neos, I didn't see any sign of any living thing.

When I got to Wum, I was unable to walk, even to talk.

My body was completely weak.

This is a real quote.

This is not a story.

This is something that actually happened.

The survivor's name is Joseph Niquan from Sabum,

and he described what happened after

a CO2 eruption from the local lake of this city.

So, what that means is occasionally there are pockets of gas beneath the earth, much like the coal fire.

There are pockets of gas beneath the earth.

They're not just always natural gas.

There can be natural occurrences of carbon dioxide accumulating at certain places.

And when it gets to a point where it has so much buoyancy that it might push through the soil, go up through a lake or go out through any kind of outcropping, because CO2 is heavier than oxygen, it will create a blanket of just carbon dioxide flowing through the landscape.

It will asphyxiate almost anything there because they just, there is no oxygen.

This happens a lot in caves too.

So cave explorers need to be very careful.

And if they bring fire, they can tell because like they'll have a torch and they dip it just below the cave, completely invisible torch will go out immediately just because there's no oxygen there because of the layer of carbon dioxide is so thick.

This is something that actually happened.

But once again, if you bring it back to a time when science cannot explain it, there are probably times in history where an entire town just wiped out everyone dead for no apparent reason.

CO2 bubble explosion.

Real life curse.

What year was this in?

This happened in

1986 is when this event occurred.

So this was fairly recent.

They called a limnic eruption at Lake Neos in northwestern Cameroon.

It killed, whoa, it killed 1,746 people and 3,500 livestock.

It's amazing that even anyone survived.

How the hell did Joseph survive?

I mean, it's stunning.

I mean, it's probably just because the way his house was shaped in one way or another, it just kept a little oxygen in the building.

And

that's it.

Yeah.

So good, so good, so good.

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Any more curses, Bob?

The Hope Diamond is cursed.

You guys know that one?

That's a classic.

I've heard of the Hope Diamond.

I don't know about the curse.

Its previous owners have met with bankruptcy, gone insane, and some of them also were brutally killed.

King Louis the 16th and Marie Antoinette once owned this diamond.

They were famously executed during the French Revolution.

It just, it sits in this, I've seen it in person in the Smithsonian.

It sits in the rare gemstone collection or whatever at the Natural History Museum, I think.

So the Smithsonian is going to die?

You know what?

If it's in the Smithsonian, does that mean that our country owns it?

That might explain some stuff.

Who owns the Smithsonian institution?

Because they are currently the owners.

What's it worth?

What's the value of the Hope Diamond?

$200 to $350 million.

All right.

Forget movie theaters.

I think what we need to do is acquire the Hope Diamond.

I've heard that large diamonds are very profitable.

What's Mark's curse?

Oh.

Another depressing one.

I want to show you guys a picture.

Right.

Okay.

You want a picture?

All you listeners, I'm going to describe it.

You're going to describe it for them.

You got this, guys.

Okay.

Oh, only...

Wait.

There appears to be a building, possibly a church or a barn.

Church or a barn?

Yeah.

In the middle of a bunch of trees that appear to be completely dead.

It looks like maybe fire came through.

Not fire.

One of the trees is curved over in a complete arch.

Yeah, not ash.

Yeah, the trees are deformed,

sagging.

It looks like a cursed wood, right?

Sure.

Yeah.

Like just a

wrong landscape, like in World of Warcraft.

Looks like a lot of the bark is even peeled off of them.

Yeah.

So you go into this zone and you're like, oh, this is the bad place.

No grass, no vegetation.

There's like leaves in the background, but nothing in the immediate vicinity has any life to it, it looks like.

Yeah.

So, Bob, you were partially correct by this.

This was caused by an eruption, but it wasn't the actual eruption itself.

There's a place called Mammoth Mountain, right?

It's a dormant volcano in the Sierra Nevada region of California and is underlaid by a shallow dacitic dome that releases cold and dry CO2-rich gases through fumarol vents and fractures located in the flanks of the mountain.

So, there was a portion where this picture is taken that a vent opened up higher up in the dormant volcano and just created a constant river flow of this toxic gas.

And so that's why you see living trees just beyond the picture because it was literally a narrow channel of gas flowed out of this for probably a long time.

I don't know how much, how long it was, but the gases came out at about 1,200 tons of gas per day that were flowing down this mountain to cover an area of 100 hectares.

How much is a hectare?

It's a hecking lot of acres.

So, if you ever want to, if you ever want to know curses, like whether you're like curses are magic or curses, like the earth objecting to you living in a space, I feel like is the ultimate manifestation of a curse.

And I don't know if anyone died in this.

It wasn't a town that was here.

There's like a couple buildings, but on that picture, it's funny because, like, the paint is stripped from some of the stain of the or the wood is either stained or like paint is stripped.

Something has happened to that building um and those trees the way they're just

limped out it's really freaky weird yeah that is a cursed location i don't think it's still going through that area it probably stopped but could happen at any moment and the term was a hect a hectare a hectare is a yeah it's some unit of it's 10 airs it's metric it's larger than an acre a similar type of oh unit of measure of area metric of an acre okay i see Okay.

Man, so that means like in the rest of the world, when they watch Looney Tunes, it was Acme Hectares instead of Acme Acres.

Any more curses, or should I wrap this bad boy up?

Did you guys see?

I guess before you answer, did you guys see Busby Stoop chair?

No, what is this?

So this was a guy who was getting executed, and the story differs as to what exactly happened either he was drunk and in his chair and just cursing or on the way to his execution he put a curse on the chair he was executed in this was in let me see what was it in the early 1700s i think and for some reason after he was executed in this chair other people that weren't meant to be executed sat in it for whatever reason uh increased including like an entire group of airmen never returning from a mission other like weird fatal accidents i don't know the chair at one point was hung in a museum so nobody could sit in it i don't know where it's at now Maybe it's still hanging somewhere, but anyone who sat in this chair after Busby's execution, Thomas Busby Busby, however you pronounce it, they died after he cursed this chair.

Bob, you got one more?

Honestly, I didn't have any other ones that I really liked.

This is not a curse, but Cincinnati Music Hall is haunted.

It's kind of a curse.

It said that there are like ghostly figures that you could see.

And also things will just sort of move themselves around.

It's a beautiful old building.

It's a very cool building.

It was renovated, oh, like a decade ago, but it's still very historic and cool.

And it's supposed to be haunted.

That's kind of like a curse.

Kind of like a curse.

Hauntings and curses are related.

I got a legit curse.

Beware, beware, beware the cursing stone of Carlisle.

I have arrived in the Scottish borders on a clear morning to see if I can bring an end to the accursedness, which by all accounts has been going on for far too long.

The prologue was almost five centuries ago when in 1525, the Archbishop of Glasgow.

Editors pronounce it correctly.

For me, in Glasgow, Gavin Dunbar brought a whopping 1,069

word curse on the Reaver people who were pillaging the district.

I curse their head and all the hairs of their head.

I curse their face, their brain, their mouth, their nose, their tongue, their teeth.

May the thunder and lightning which rained down upon Sodom and Gomorrah rain down upon

them.

This led to widespread destruction in the area.

And then it slept for hundreds of years until in 2001, as part of a millennium celebration, the council asked a person named Gordon Young, a local artist and descendant of Reaver, descendant of the cursed people from the original, to carve a new set of curses.

383 words of the original curse onto a stone and place it as an art installation in the town.

Since then, it was placed in a gloomy underpass between Carlisle Castle and the Tule House Museum.

And then, if you believe, Carlisle fell victim to the curse once more.

There has been a cacophony of misfortune, foot and mouth disease, floods, fire at Wrathbones Bakery, job losses,

at

Cavagan and Gray, which makes coleslaw for Marks and Spencer's, and the footballing relegation of Carlisle United.

So they hired a Witch Finder, the Witch Finder General.

Let's go.

The Witch Finder General?

I didn't know that was a job.

Oh, his name's Jim Toodle, the Witch Finder General, who represents the castle ward where the stone sits.

He demanded the destruction of the stone or its removal from the city in a council motion that was debated the night, last night, whenever this was written in 2005,

in order to establish scale.

since the Millennium Product, there have been several disasters reaching biblical proportions, yada, yada, yada.

But now, I think the stone is still there because they couldn't decide whether if destroying it would bring about more curses or fix it.

Yeah, I'm afraid of it, says Steven, a local boy.

Just look at it.

It's evil.

Why take the chance?

The main issue in this town is not the ancient curse, it's a feature of Carlisle United and traffic gridlock.

Anyway, it's still there, I think.

Why did they do that?

I don't know, man.

Tempting curses, you know.

That's no, that's no, that's no good.

I guess they were like, this is a cool part of history.

Let's, like, display it.

Let's tempt fate.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

I think you, whenever, yeah, definitely inscribing these horrible curses onto a stone and then placing in the middle of your town

by the person who was originally descended from the cursed people.

Yeah, I think that would, that would carry the curse on, yeah.

That kind of seems like they did it to themselves.

Yeah.

Well, let me wrap it there.

That was, there was a lot.

We found a lot of curses there.

Let me go through the points here.

Bob, I'll start with you.

You got a point for Super Giant Good Reading Podcast.

Mark said that you had a lot of knowledge about reading, so you got a point for via Mark there.

You got a riding mower, Mega Bonk, Edge Blow, Edge and Blow.

Oh, yeah.

Edge and Blow.

Yeah, yeah.

The Lost Dutchman's Gold Mines, Cincinnati Curse, the Andretti Curse.

You got a point for Flacco coming to Cincinnati because it happened right after you mentioned Cincinnati sports being cursed.

The Hope Diamond

was

right-ish about the eruption in Mark's tale.

Oh, sure.

Mark kept saying you were right about things, so I had to give you points when Mark said you were right.

Fair.

And then I gave you half a point for the haunting of the Cincinnati music.

Cincinnati Music Hall.

Is that what it was?

Because it was a haunting, not a curse.

I'll give you half a point.

Mark, you got points for being the best reader.

Uh, reading, because I think you brought it up.

Can't pass, but want to pass.

80s 2, Dead Man's Hand, Villa.

Lots of poker hands.

You named a lot of different poker hands.

And I was trying to keep up with the different amounts of poker hands.

I couldn't keep up with the aces over Jackson and the 8s and 8s and the all blacks.

And you lost me a little bit.

You had the pass callback.

Joseph Nemain, whatever his name was, CO2 eruption.

Pennsylvania Coal Fire.

Earth is cursed.

It made me laugh when you said Earth is cursed.

And I was like, Earth is cursed.

It's kind of a I made myself laugh with what you said, so you got a point.

So who's what was in your head?

I'll take it, you know, I'll take it.

Why can't I make you laugh at yourself about my stuff?

You made me sad with Cincinnati curse.

Be glad I didn't take away points.

You brought Joe Flacco here.

cursing stone of carlisle and mammoth mountain gas flow however you did lose one point mark for insulting my love of blueprints that's fair uh right now that brings the total bob 12 and a half points 13 for mark 13 and 12 and a half so very close game

i have one point well done man wheel time wheel time

How many spins will there be?

It looks like it's going to be three.

Oh, no.

All right.

Okay, three-pointer.

What are we adding, Wade?

Let's do one point to the most cursed, which can be left to interpretation.

Most cursed contribution or whoever is the most cursed, like Bob with bad luck or, you know, some real life events.

Just one point to the most cursed.

Feels like it's pretty heavily in my corner on that one, but uh, spin number one.

Unless it's house troubles, because I've been pretty cursed with that.

All right, first spin.

Dropped the most items.

Did anybody drop anything?

I don't think I did.

It's usually me.

I don't remember hearing anything clang or see anything drop.

No, I wasn't like fidgeting with anything today.

Respin.

Yeah, respin.

Spin number one again.

Mentioned their significant other the most.

Literally, I think only Mark.

No, that was last episode because Mark came up with the last episode.

Did any of us mention our significant others?

In the episode?

No,

I don't think so.

Though I should shout out Molly for helping me get this episode because she was talking to me about hauntings and different things to talk about, which led me down the rabbit hole that led me here.

Well, that's not going to get you any points.

No, no, I don't want points for it, but I do want to.

All right, spin number one again.

That's going to be a lot of spins today.

Yeah.

Oh.

The best comeback.

Joe Flacco has a pretty good comeback because he's going to come to Cincinnati and lead us to the Super Bowl.

You know what, Bob?

Sure, I'll give that one to you.

All right.

Hey.

But if you're wrong and we reconvene, I lose that point retroactively.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, if we reconvene, Mark gets a point retroactively as long as one of us remembers.

Fair enough.

Spin number two, somehow.

Witness protection.

Oh, man.

I think

we're all in our normal All right.

Three spin two again.

Spin number two, which is actually spin number five.

That's pretty niche.

Yeah, some of them are.

We don't always get that.

Oh, Mark lost most points.

Yeah, he did lose points, didn't he?

Oh, okay.

So, right now it's 14 to 13 and a half.

Half point to Bob would make this a tie.

Wouldn't that be fun?

Spin number three, which is actually spin number six or seven.

Oh,

most angry.

Bob might have been the most angry.

I was worked up about

something.

I don't remember Mark being worked up, but you were.

Oh, you were both angry about football.

That's what I was.

Is Bob the most angry at this?

I wasn't angry at all, so I guess technically he would be more angry than me.

I mean, if you want.

All right, if you can see that, yeah, sure.

It's the only thing that I could say, because bringing up the football, you both were like, yeah,

yeah.

I think even after my story about the lake that killed so many people, you're like, I'm still pissed about that.

So I think, yeah.

Goddamn Joe Flacco.

He might be great.

Ah, I think he's going to be great.

Goddamn him.

God damn Joe Flacco.

Man, we had really concise amounts of spins there.

Bob, you eked out the victory.

However, my title of this episode was just curses, so there's nothing weird going on.

You win, Bob.

Almost got him.

Almost got him.

They had me in the first half.

Winner speech.

This one turned out pretty good.

When you said curses originally, I was like, oh no.

But then I realized there's lots of sports curses, and I know some of those.

We got to witness a curse manifesting in real life, in real time.

As we were sitting here recording, the news came out that once again, the Bengals have done something that doesn't make any sense and is not going to help us win football games.

More than likely.

So hooray!

We're cursed.

But I win, so I did it.

Go me.

I'm not cursed.

Unless this win puts a curse on you for winning after bringing Flacco to the Bengals.

I didn't bring Flacco to the Bengals.

I feel like it happened right at...

There's no way the talks were happening and the trade was being worked on behind the scenes.

It all came to fruition in the 30 seconds after you mentioned Cincinnati Sports.

Oh, that must be.

Mark, loser speech.

Curse from the start.

My own worst enemy, but that also got me a point, so I guess it wouldn't have mattered either way.

Frankly, just showing up was my downfall.

I blame everybody but myself, and I can't wait to go with my new nickname to do things with that nickname.

You know what?

That's fair.

Maybe you cursed yourself by saying unfair in the end.

I think I did, yeah.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Well, if you guys haven't already, go follow these guys, Mark at Markiplier, or soon to be known as Fiery Markiplier-y, or whatever you come up with.

Tall Mark!

Bob at MySkirm, or me at Minion 777, or Lord Minion 777.

We have, or we had, or we will once again have merch at distractible.shop.

Check it out.

Bob will host the next one.

We'll see.

This is his first time hosting since we did the couch episode.

That's accurate.

Wasn't that my host?

Doesn't feel very good either, does it?

Until then, I'd cast out.

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