Nah, I'd Lose

This episode is brought to you by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet.

I'm sure everyone can agree with me when I say that nowadays everything in your house keeps getting smarter.

Smart speakers, smart mirror, smart toaster, smart coffee maker, smart shoes, smart carpet, everything.

What isn't smart?

Luckily, T-Mobile 5G Home Internet makes it easy to keep all your devices connected.

With their quick, one-cord setup, you can hop online in literally 15 minutes or less.

They've also got fast speeds, a price that works for any budget, and a five-year price guarantee.

So, if you're looking for internet that keeps up with you, connect to T-Mobile Home Internet for their fast 5G speeds, easy 15-minute setup, and five-year price guarantee.

Visit t-mobile.com/slash home internet to check availability.

Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G internet data exclusions like taxes and fees apply.

Service delivered via 5G network speeds vary due to factors affecting cellular networks.

Guarantee exclusions and details at tmobile.com/slash home internet.

Don't you want that max?

Cooper loves that shoe too.

Oh, now he's into Cooper's food.

Wow, he is loving it.

What do you feed Cooper?

Blue Buffalo life protection formula.

He never leaves a crumb.

I love it because it's made with high-quality protein, nutrient-rich fruits and veggies, and wholesome whole grains.

Looks like we're switching to blue.

Blue Buffalo foods are made with the superior ingredients your dog needs to thrive.

Can your dog food say that?

Visit feedbluefood.com to learn more.

This episode is brought to you by Mento's Gum.

Keep things fresh, it's important, right?

And I'm not just talking about fresh breath.

It's important to switch up your routine whenever you can.

I just, I'm the person who can't help but chew.

You put a little mint in your mouth, you're supposed to suck on it.

I'm like,

swallow.

So I kind of need gum.

You turn into a cartoon dog.

I'm sorry.

Next time we hang out, I'm giving you a mint just to see what happens.

And of course, another way to refresh every day is with Mento's Gum, available in a range of fresh flavors like Spearmint, Fresh Mint, and Strawberry.

Mentos Gum, yes, to Fresh.

This episode is presented to you by Battlefield 6.

Rip through the skies in an aerial dogfight.

Demolish your environment for strategic advantage.

Harness complete control over every action and movement.

Every aspect of Battlefield's core gameplay has been honed to feel more fluid, responsive, and immersive than ever before.

And with more maps, modes, and ways to rally your squad, Battlefield 6 is the ultimate all-out warfare experience.

Available now on on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X and S, and PC.

Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible,

the Zipso.

Messianic Mark defies dehydration, then makes magical, masochistic moments.

World's Dad Wade watches fishy puss cook, tongues a huge shaft, and summons fiery rings.

Body Bob bonds with his brave boy, dances a legendary gobble, enrolls enrolls in the endless, sings ragtime, and shoots shotguns.

From a good hook to salacious swine.

Yes!

It's time for...

Nah,

I'd lose.

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hello and welcome back to Distractible, the show that definitely is not ending.

I don't care what the rumors say.

We're going to be here for the rest of whatever we're here for.

And nothing's going to stop us.

Right, guys?

One of those two things is true.

One of them.

I won't tell you which one.

I will.

But later, at the end of the episode, you'll have to listen to find out.

No skipping.

Wow, that's a hook.

Yeah, I'll put the reason.

Or which one was true at some random point in this video.

I'm Mark, also known as markblar and i'm joined today by bob and wade also known as my skirm and lord minion 777 that's us i don't know why i threatened everyone with a pin but that's us i didn't feel very threatened that was like high school basketball coach levels of threatening right there well i mean i felt pretty threatened so might as well write something down you we all know wade's not gonna get any more points than that

yeah you gotta really hunt for reasons to give wade points well i'll know how this works but how are you guys about to say man doing pretty well life's good.

Eating good.

Well, I know what the soda.

Oh, here.

New passion moment.

I know nothing about cooking.

I'm not a cook.

I don't make a lot of food.

I think I could do it, but I'm a perfectionist.

It would drive me nuts.

If I ever leave Cincinnati, I need to meet the owner of Soto and see if he will let me franchise it somewhere else because I can't live without it.

I've gotten to the point now where I can't live without it.

So I will open my own Soto.

I don't think they, I don't think they do franchises of fine dining establishments.

They need to for this one because I can't leave it.

I can't quit it.

Here's the thing.

I was in Cincinnati for an occasion.

I won't say we.

Details?

Yeah, I'm giving details right now.

Amy and I, we went to Soto because I had heard so much from it, from you.

And Amy knew that Soto actually had a restaurant in L.A.

at one point, and they...

couldn't make it in LA.

So that one closed down.

And then they moved to Cincinnati.

Now, I don't know if that was COVID-related, it could have entirely been.

The food that we had at Soto was some of the best Italian food I've ever had.

And I've gone to fancy schmancy Italian places.

That I don't usually like goat cheese, but that goat cheese on the bread and the toast.

Oh, it was amazing.

Whatever the heck I had, the popper dele with meat was unbelievable.

Every bite was delicious.

I can say for certain.

Wade is not exaggerating about, well, okay, he might be, he might be overselling it just a little bit, but it is really good.

It is very good.

And I enjoyed my meal.

And it was, you know, of all the high-end places I've gone to, usually the high-end Italian places, and I haven't gone to

many high-end places, but I've been lucky enough to go to a few.

All the Italian places have not been to my liking because the portion sizes were way too small and it wasn't really good.

I would have rather gone to Olive Garden.

And I know sometimes I have very simple tastes, but soda was very good.

And the prices weren't as exorbitant as I thought they would be.

Nah, it's Cincinnati expensive, which is California cheap.

Yep.

You know it.

And Michael Douglas approved.

I do not speak for Michael Douglas.

Why did you pick Michael Douglas then?

That's always the name I go to.

I don't know.

You could have picked anyone and you picked Michael Douglas.

This name was rent-free in my head.

It's okay.

Michael Douglas is a fine.

He's fine.

I'm not saying you shouldn't, but like of all the celebrities that exist, that's just top of mind for you is crazy for me.

He's not exactly showing up in a lot of stuff right now.

Him and Christopher Walkin, go-to names in my mind.

Actually, I don't even recall you ever mentioning Michael Douglas in the past.

Oh, I do.

Maybe not with you, but I do mention him.

Well, we've talked pretty much consistently weekly for the past

seven years or so.

I can't recall.

Bob, do you remember him ever saying Michael Douglas?

I don't have a specific memory.

Viewers and listeners, go back and find any references I've made of Michael Douglas.

I feel like maybe once before he has maybe referenced Michael Douglas, but not like it doesn't stand out to me as much as he makes it seem like it should.

My references would not stand out.

Michael Douglas would probably stand out.

My references do not.

Was it just that you like soda?

Was that your update?

Yeah, we went there the other night again.

It was amazing.

We actually had a different seat.

I didn't know they had like a bar-style seat, but there were like four stool seats at like the bar right across from where they make all the meat.

And they gave us.

Wait, they make the meat?

They pull the meat out of the meat hole?

What do you mean?

Where they cut it up, cook it.

I watched them prepare the meat he doesn't know what a kitchen's called mark well no but like this guy the kitchen is kind of like divided they have the they have the the meat side and like the pasta side it's all kitchen man all the pastas were being made at this other end and then there was a dude that every few minutes would yell hands and i it took me a long time to figure out what he was yelling hands for i was like Did everyone put their hands?

Like, what do you do with hands?

Like, hands, move your hands so I can inspect.

No, hands just meant someone who comes and gets the food to take it to the tables.

Took me a long time to figure that one out.

That's weird.

They don't yell service.

That was hands.

Gordon Ramsey never said hands.

I think they yelled hands at Soto.

Did they say anything at Ichiban when the food was ready?

No, it wasn't that fancy of a place.

They put the food in the window.

The waiters got the food out of the window.

There was some communication, but generally no.

Yeah, I thought there was a show being filmed because I was like, oh, they're inspecting to see how they're like, they're on a timer.

Hands?

It's like, oh, did they pass?

And then someone would just come and grab food and leave.

And I was like, okay.

No, it's when, it's when the whole staff goes,

food,

man.

Hands?

Yes, chef.

Two, three, four.

It's a whole number in the kitchen.

But I watched them, I watched them prepare and cook steak.

Octopus, I'm pretty sure.

There was like a sea bass, the different kind of like toasted breads and stuff they would toss on like the grill for a moment.

I watched a lot of foods get prepared.

And when you're hungry, it's not like like their food takes forever to come out because it doesn't.

But when you're hungry and you're sitting there watching just steak get cooked and pasta go right past you, even for a few minutes, man, does that amp up the like, I need my food now.

I was very, very hungry by the time my capalachi came out.

You see, most people, when they go to a restaurant, they like seeing their food prepared.

It's like face wade away.

He goes, Jesus,

I wanted so.

I was like, I don't even want this fish, but I want this fish right now.

Give it to me.

Well, that's great.

I'm glad.

and so if i ever leave cincinnati mr soto call call me so i can we can franchise you forget the movie theater we can own a sodo do you have you you've you've ever had a food service job i'm going to kidnap their manager and make him my manager so this sodo is gonna fail they'll just promote they'll promote Wade doesn't care what kind of trail of devastation he leaves as long as what he needs comes where he is.

He does not care about anything else.

You're gonna go far in this business, baby.

This is a cut pasta business.

Cut throat, no.

This is a

cut goat cheese business.

Yes, there is a goat cheese bread.

It was very good.

I've also been to this restaurant.

That was more for other people, not for you.

I knew you.

Mark mentioned the goat cheese bread.

That was a reference to Mark.

That was actually one of the things I said.

He said that.

He said, oh, the goat cheese on the toast.

All right, well.

You'll lose a point.

I listen to you, Mark.

I hear you.

I don't, I'm not afraid to say it.

Bold, point-worthy, even, maybe one might say.

Bold to declare you should get a point.

That's bold.

Well, I've already deducted one, and I don't want to be too rude.

He wasn't listening to me.

And Bob, you got that point, so it went to you.

Oh, that's a two-point sway.

It's a bold strategy, Cotton.

Let's see if it pays off.

And Bob hasn't even gotten to his small talk, so that's really changed things up.

All right, Bob, go ahead.

Let's see you piss off Mark.

Yeah, make me mad.

I saw a turkey

that was so big that nobody believed that it was a turkey until they inspected it for themselves.

Took James to a fall festival, like a fall, like a farm, like right?

You know, just a big Midwest thing.

It's like, oh, it's fall.

Let's do a corn maze and go in the pumpkin patch and we'll have like, yeah, activities and stuff.

And we went to this place.

It was really fun.

They had a bunch of cool play sets.

The first moment we were there, I did have made a parenting mistake.

They had this big thing that was just like a big hill and you could run.

It was sort of like a hill where you were supposed to clearly run from one side to the other and there was like a path, but then the sides were very steep.

You were not supposed to go up or down the sides.

You were supposed to go over the path.

And James started going up that and I was like, oh, that'd be a good picture.

Cause I was like, I'm trying to take pictures.

We're doing this fun thing with James.

I want pictures of James.

And so I was like, he won't be fucking crazy for 30 seconds.

I can let him run up or down this hill really quick.

So I let him go and I'm like, I'm just going to go around and take a picture.

And I like have my phone out about to take a picture.

He's on the very top of the hill and he looks down at me and he just goes

and tries to like run down the steepest fucking.

He took like two steps and then just

piled at the bottom.

And it's it's busy.

This is right by the entrance.

So there's a there's a bunch of other people doing the hill and people and just at in the middle of all that, James is just fucking eating so much.

I just put my phone away going to go and pick him up.

And he's like,

I'm okay.

Let's do this stuff.

Like, because he doesn't want to go home.

It was fine, but it was so...

I was like, he can do this, right?

Did you get any of it?

Like a photo collage of

God, I fucking, I wish I didn't even get all the way to like, I was like trying to get the camera open and I was like, huh, no, and then just woof.

Anyway, it's very fun, but they had animals there.

They had goats and sheep and dogs and chickens and stuff.

And they had one turkey.

And I swear to fucking God, this must have been like a 70-pound turkey.

It was so big.

From a distance, all you heard was someone being like, that's a turkey?

That can't be a turkey.

Oh my God, that is a turkey.

There's a turkey.

Come look at the turkey.

And like every next person, it was like, that's no, that must be something.

And we went over there and like, Ave and I, having heard all dozens of people all be like, that can't be a turkey.

And we walked over there and James walked up and was like, oh, turkey.

And I was like, wow, holy fuck, that's the biggest turkey I've ever seen.

You know what?

All those people were totally justified in how amazed they were at this turkey.

You know, the saying, if you have to ask, it's a chicken.

If it's a turkey,

you will know.

But, like, when we lived out in the Bay Area, there were lots of turkeys.

Listen, I've seen lots of turkeys.

I'm familiar with turkeys.

Literally, when

we were moving into our house out in the Bay Area, a group of turkeys just like wandered through our front yard.

They were around.

And this turkey was easily three times as big as any turkey I ever saw in California.

Did you know a group of turkeys is called a rafter?

I did not know that.

I did not know that.

Well,

who coined that term?

Yeah, whoever named all the groups is really bad at their job.

A group of turkeys is either referred to as a rafter or a flock.

Well, I would go with flock.

I feel like flock is at the top of that list.

I would think so, too, but rafter was the first thing.

Rafter.

A flock or a rafter.

Definitely not a gaggle.

I know what you're saying about the turkey mark because generally it is true, but this turkey defied all turkey reason.

And James thought it was real cool.

And I did get a a picture.

And he didn't even fall down a huge hill or hurt himself while I was taking the turkey picture.

So that was pretty fun.

That's nice.

The biggest turkey on record was in 1989.

His name was Tyson, and he was an 86-pound turkey.

No other company is named Tyson.

That's why they surfed.

That's why they're famous for chicken.

A turkey started his own company and was like, kill those other birds.

Not my people.

We sell chicken nuggets, not turkey meat.

Butterball thinks

they're going to get us.

but I started Tyson to show them.

Butterball's run by just a bunch of chickens.

Walk into the office.

Just a turkey with a big cigar sitting behind the desk.

But all the other employees are human.

It's not all turkeys.

It's just the one turkey in charge of a bunch of human employees.

It's funny.

I want to point at something in your story here.

Back when you're talking about James Falling and Mark asked, if you got the video of the tumble, you said, I wish.

That's what happened to me with Molly in hindsight.

I wish I'd gotten that photo.

I knew that was going to come up.

I knew that was going to come up.

This was a specific instance where I was like, I would like a picture of my child because I never take pictures of him.

People are always like, oh, well, you have any new pictures of James?

He's growing up so fast.

And I'm always like, oh, I have a picture from like a year and a half ago.

Is that cool?

When he was like a baby who couldn't walk?

Do you want to see that?

Or I was literally like, I need pictures of him.

No, I get that.

The photo you took was fine.

But you did say you wish you'd gotten the video of him tumbling.

If it had just been a thing and he had just fallen and I wasn't trying to take the picture, I wouldn't now be like, I wish I'd got it on camera, though.

I'd be like, I can't believe he didn't fucking break his arm.

He fell down a whole hill.

And it's kind of worked out.

I got to say, I've thought about it.

If I had been up at the top of the hill with him and he just went, I'm not sure what I would have done because I think my instinct might have been to be like, whoa, and but then I would have just fallen down the same hill because it's really steep.

And then if you were both okay, hoping you would be, I would have, in hindsight, wished I'd gotten that on for video.

I wouldn't.

I wouldn't hope that.

I would never think that.

I typically am not the person to go to, but Yam Chapos on Trash in hindsight was really funny.

And baby tumbling when baby ends up okay, also kind of funny.

All right, laughing at babies.

That's funny.

It's more scary than funny.

I've never lived with as much fear as I do now that any moment James is in imminent peril.

I don't really give a shit if I get hurt that much.

Like, like in cars.

I've always liked cars, And when I was younger, I used to drive too fast, like probably more than I should have.

Never once was I like, oh, I hope I don't die, which is stupid.

And like, not as smart, but like I never had that fear.

Now every time we're in the car, I'm like, God, I hope nobody fucking hits us.

James is so frail.

He's tiny.

It changes.

It does change how I change me, how I think about stuff.

I can't relate to the baby part, but the newfound fear of vehicles happened with the semi.

I still don't really give a shit about myself, except that I know if something bad happens, if something bad happens to me, that means I won't be able to do what I am currently doing for James.

Like if I get hurt, I'll be out of commission, or if I die or something, I won't be around for him.

I'm not really afraid of that for my own purposes, but that seems really unfair to James.

Oh, you could have just let it happen.

No, I caught that one.

What was unfair to James?

If I die, that would be really unfair to James.

All right, you can't die if you win this, but if you lose it, you would die right now.

If I win this coin flip, do I gain invincibility?

You do, yes.

By the powers invested in

the Constitution of Distractible, you will become immortal.

And then, opposite that, you will die way sooner.

I don't think I can kill you right here, but which one am I rooting for?

Heads?

Heads means you will be immortal.

Guys, if you could get heads on this, of all the coin flips I've ever watched, I'll do my best.

If we can get heads on this one, all right, here we go.

It's heads!

I did it!

No way!

Oh, is that heads?

Yeah, yeah, the ladies' heads.

The ladies' heads!

James Immortal, everybody!

I'm immortal!

Congratulations, dude.

I gotta write that.

Do you feel it?

I do feel better.

My back doesn't hurt anymore.

You were so right.

That would be unfair to James, that now it's you're so right.

That would be so unfair.

And so I'm immortal now.

Okay, then still i have to felt like i needed to i wish i had a better coin yeah lion is tails on mine and i got lady lady is heads i'm just glad we had your back we're such good friends mark yeah i tried really hard and it worked if i actually did gain immortality from that that makes up for all the other coin flips i've ever lost i'm not even mad about it until the world explodes and you're left alone as the last living person karmically in the universe that makes total sense it does it does okay well congratulations i'm obviously giving you an immortality point for that.

Because if there ever was a moment, but don't worry, Wade, I gave you a point for laughing at my joke.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It was one single chuckle, but I counted it.

I know how that feels.

But yeah, no, Bob, I can relate to, I can't relate to the parenting part, but I love me, and the world would be at a loss without my humor if I were to die.

So I feel like I owe it to the world to treat myself safe.

Because I'm raising all of them.

You're like the world's daddy.

Yeah.

Well, dad, I don't think I'm daddy.

Wade considers himself a big daddy.

Small talk for me, I guess.

I've been okay, you know how I always am like, I got a big sweeping realization about my life, how I've been doing things wrong.

Yeah.

Sure, sure.

Every time we talk.

Have I talked about how I have an egregiously high salt intake and I well, I licked the lamp, right?

So I like salt.

Talked about it before.

I think I've been chronically dehydrated all of my life and never have taken in enough water because I was doing some research.

That's it.

It's possible.

That's a funny joke, man.

I'm laughing again.

That's a joke.

All right.

You know what?

Oh, yeah, you get it, boy.

All right.

I mean, times two.

Oh, hell yeah.

That makes up for my lost point.

So, I mean, my salt intake is egregious.

And my blood pressure has been fine.

So it's not really like I'm doing this for that reason or anything.

But it's more just, I realized how little water I actually drank.

I drank water, a cup of water in the morning when I take my medication.

That's the only cup of water I was drinking.

I had a cup of coffee, you know, and jury's out on whether that actually hydrates you or not.

I have like carbonated diet sodas.

I have carbonated waters, but mostly I was getting like maybe three or four cups total liquid every day, right?

And that's not usually what they recommend.

Now, the recommendation from doctors, you know, there's the people that are like, drink as much water as possible.

Now, the recommendation, like 35 to 40 milliliters per kilogram of body weight, which for me is about three to three and a half liters,

what I would need in terms of liquid.

Hold on, 30 to 35 milliliters per kilogram?

35 to 40.

So anywhere in that range is, I think, the scientifically recommended amount of water that you should be getting, or liquid you should be getting in your day.

That includes like watery foods, soups.

You know, I think they even include coffee in that, but three liters is a big jump from what I was doing, right?

And it makes sense that I was able to do this because my salt intake was so high.

Therefore, my cells have a lot of salt in them, and therefore it holds onto water.

It's hard for the water to leave.

It flows towards the higher salinity gradient.

You've seen the thing with the soy sauce packet in the water.

Water goes into the soy sauce through the permeable membrane.

Anyway, so I started drinking four of these.

These are 40-ounce with ice.

It's about like 30-ish.

something ounces.

I've never peed so much in my goddamn life.

It never stops.

I'm like, I put one of these, I am peeing more than I'm taking in, which apparently makes sense because the salt is slowly going out of my cells.

And like, I don't feel any better yet.

Oh, I was going to say, you probably feel a lot better, right?

No, I don't.

I don't feel any better.

I feel no different other than I'm peeing all the time.

I have gone to the bathroom so much more than in my entire life.

Every hour I have to go to the bath, but they say it takes like three to four weeks for you to start to become adjusted to it.

The thing is, also, I was never thirsty.

I, I, I, very rarely am I like, oh, I'm, I'm thirsty, I'll drink water.

So, I've been, this is my second one of these today.

So, I'm apparently supposed to drink nine, 500 milliliter bottles a day, according to your, how much?

Nine of these bottles a day.

You need four and a half liters?

Apparently,

what was the recommended amount?

It's like 35 to 40 milliliters per kilogram.

So, I'm about a hundred and we'll call 115 kilograms times 40 right that's the upper end yeah damn and you divide that by this is a 500 milliliter bottle you're a big guy yeah it's like it's it's supposed to be more if you're exercising so I used to think that people were crazy like you need two gallons a day and that might be crazy but like that's basically a gap that's more than a gallon you need I need right about a gallon apparently Yeah, 250 pounds is about nine bottles of water a day.

Yeah, so I'm waiting for all the amazing health benefits and mental clarity to kick in, but all my

mental thoughts are only occupied with, I have to be, I have to be, I have to be, I have to be.

That's all I've got so far.

So I'll report back next week when my

equilibrium equilibrializes.

I have other small talk.

This is

actually, it's because you were talking about health stuff.

This is an update.

So this is a way the hell a long time ago now, but we did an episode where I talked about how

stressful and sort of traumatizing

James's birth was, and especially around Mandy's health and issues that she faced before, during, and after actually giving birth.

James is almost three.

James will be three in December.

Mandy, just this past week, got an iron infusion, and it turns out she's been having all of these postpartum issues, including like panic attacks and other like really serious issues that are potentially all if not many of them were caused by like critically low iron like literally just zero iron in her body she thought that just having the baby just like changed her hormonal chemistry or changed her body or she was having she was feeling more anxious because having a kid does make you feel kind of anxious in different ways and stuff like it's potentially literally all related to low iron.

And she asked me to bring this up just to say to to all of the women that are listening, and especially if you currently are or have been recently, or if you just think that any of the stuff that Mandy dealt with sounds familiar to you, get your fucking iron checked.

It took her multiple doctors to find a one who would even do the tests that she was like, I think I have low iron.

Like, I have all these symptoms that are happening.

And, and, and like, and the doctors would just be like, dah, you're just, is it your time of the month?

But calm down, calm down, woman.

And like, not maybe that explicit, but none of them gave a shit.

And then she finally convinced her current doctor, who still didn't give a shit, to do the test.

And the test came back and it was like, you have zero iron and zero ferritin in your body.

And the doctor was kind of like, oh, okay, I'll refer you to like a hematologist or whatever.

That's fine.

So any women out there.

If you feel like you have, if you look into any of the symptoms and accompanying side,

whatever, accompanying things that come with low iron, and you feel like maybe you have low iron get a test and tell your doctor that to not be a dismissive asshole that you would like a test to see if your iron and specifically your ferritin are low because they can have all kinds of crazy side effects including Mandy literally never had panic attacks before in her life and had panic attacks because of low iron like date like crazy low iron like zero out of whatever supposed to be like a hundred and it was a zero on the test result and it could apply to guys too but this is for reasons i think anyone who understands how women's anatomy works, even slightly, it might be obvious.

This is a thing that applies generally more to women, especially women who are pregnant, have been pregnant, giving birth.

Also, you lose a lot of blood, but it's just

interesting fact.

Mandy wanted everyone to know.

Get that checked because apparently not having iron can cause all kinds of side effects and can make you think that you have all kinds of other diseases that you don't have.

But if you just get an iron infusion, which she did, she immediately started to feel better.

After the first day, she felt kind of sick from the infusion.

But interesting tidbit.

Check that out.

Good to know.

Point to Mandy.

I also wrote for the point Iron Within, Iron Without, which is a 40k joke.

Iron infusion, best way to get iron, or was there a way you can increase your iron?

Well, so there are supplements, but iron supplements are really hard on your stomach.

And Mandy has always had trouble with nausea from like, she's very sensitive to oral medication in general.

And so she, she tried to take the iron supplements orally and like was so sick that she didn't eat for a couple of weeks and was like almost bedridden for part of it.

So that wasn't really an option.

The only other way I know of to get iron is through food, which she does do.

But like the iron supplement is like 50 milligrams of iron or something or 100 or something.

The most high iron food you can get is multi-grain Cheerios have like 18 milligrams of iron in them.

But all the other food that people are like, oh, it has a lot of iron.

They have like three milligrams of iron.

You have to eat an actual five-gallon bucket of spinach to get a meaningful amount of iron from eating spinach or whatever.

So if you have like Mandy, like seriously low iron, like dangerously low, causing these side effects, an iron infusion might be the way that they go if the other options don't work for you.

And getting it from food was just not substantial enough for her to recover from being completely bottomed out on her

levels.

But yeah.

Well, good to know.

Good to know.

This episode is brought to you by Panda Express.

If someone wanted to tell me that they love me, all they would need to do is get me some honey walnut shrimp from Panda Express.

The message would not be lost in translation.

In fact, I might even rather have honey walnut shrimp than words from an actual human mouth hole.

If you're trying to get a message to me, honey walnut shrimp.

however you want to say it, say it with delicious, authentically cooked American Chinese cuisine from Panda Express.

Have you eaten yet?

Order now or visit the Panda Express near you.

This episode is brought to you by Welch's Fusions, the newest drop from Welch's fruit snacks.

We've got to warn you about the consequences of eating Welch's Fusions.

It's like three dudes hanging out on a rooftop talking about the future.

Three dudes hanging out on a rooftop installing solar panels to provide a sustainable future.

Three dudes on a roof installing solar panels so that they can power their computers and record their brilliant idea for a podcast.

Pretty awesome consequences if you ask me.

New Welch's fusions are so good.

Each one is a combination of two fruity flavors in one juicy bite.

One flavor on the outside, another on the inside.

It's an unbelievable taste sensation, so they are recommended for experienced taste buds only.

You've been warned.

New Welch's fusions, please use responsibly.

This episode is brought to you by Uber.

You know that feeling when someone shows up for you when you need it most?

Yeah.

We all need that sometimes.

And Uber knows that.

Uber isn't just a ride or a meal delivered.

It's showing up no matter what.

I think that might be them knocking on the door because they're, you know, Uber's really good about getting them right to where you are.

To them or the FBI.

I'm not 100%

sure.

Yep.

When it really matters, whatever it is, you show up.

Or there's a will, we're on our way.

Uber, on our way.

Download the app today.

All right.

That was a long small talk, but I liked all of it.

So you guys got a lot of points out of that.

Water and iron.

Water and iron.

It's the weirdest World of Warcraft factory.

Rocking stone.

All right, we're going to move on from that.

This

headway point?

No, no, no.

All right.

I'm going to set the scene.

I did a little creative writing here, and I want you guys to really feel in the moment of what we're about to do here.

Okay?

Imagine you're in a dark hallway.

You give your wife one last hug.

She tells you she made the bet, just like you asked, but she's choking on the words.

She's crying.

You nod solemnly, knowingly, and you say goodbye for the last time.

You leave.

It's hard to do so, but you leave, you turn around, you step onto that platform, you hop right up there and then the lights go out plunged into darkness you're sent shoom up rising the platform rising rising suddenly

blinding lights all around you the crowds

they're cheering cheering on for the bloodbath that is about to occur you look around when your eyes adjust to it blink lick your eyeball surrounded by water you're on a big platform in the center there's pillars on the outskirts You're a frog.

And your opponent.

On the other side, a fly.

Your wife made a bet against you losing this match.

And if so, your family will be set for life.

Welcome to Naide Lose.

This is actually, someone on the server has said this.

They mentioned it casually, I think.

So I was like, that would be funny.

So it's exactly like Nidewin, except you're trying to die.

You will repeat the same actions because you will just have an onslaught of flies that are coming after you.

If you miraculously don't die from the first fly, which you will have to get your D20s out because you're going to be making rolls.

It's the exact same setup.

It's going to be like

a 20 at first.

You will make up your actions to lose this fight.

You'll do whatever it takes to lose it.

You got to lose and it's got to be in the match because otherwise they're going to know something's up.

So you got to make it organic and your death has to be believable.

Okay, are we wanting to roll 20s or ones?

You're trying to roll a 20.

Oh, wait.

Yeah, let's invert it.

So you got to roll a one to lose this fight.

That's a good, that, that's good.

That's good.

That's good, right?

It starts at one, and then every action that is believably bad to get you to that death that you oh, so crave, you'll get another plus one on your roll, minus one on your roll, actually.

We'll do it that way.

All right.

Heads, Bob goes first.

Tails, wade.

Boink.

Heads again for Bob.

It's his lucky day.

All right.

Four heads for Bob.

Bad game to be immortal, huh?

All right.

Bob, what's your first attempt?

I

don't take in any information.

I don't survey what's around me in any way.

I lock on immediately to the fly and with every ounce of strength that I have, I leap at the fly with my mouth open to try and literally just like

go

reckless, abandon, full kill mode, just

like a missile straight at the fly.

Hell, who gives a shit where I land?

We'll see what happens.

All right, let it roll.

I rolled a 20.

That would have been a hilarious and nine win.

That would have been really funny.

Yeah, it worked.

You got him.

He was so scared.

That fly didn't even fucking move.

It was just

eaten.

Luckily, there's going to be another fly that pops up because they knew it would be an unfair fight.

So there's actually a whole plethora of flies just waiting, waiting to enter the arena.

But Wade, it's your turn, and you will repeat the actions that the previous did.

All right.

Elevator comes up.

I don't look around.

I see the fly.

I lunge, jumping straight for it.

I land.

Quickly take a look around at these pillars.

I wait for a fly to just pass a pillar.

Shoot my tongue out.

Wrap it around the pillar and yank myself in as hard as I can to concuss myself against the pillar.

Intentionally?

Intentionally trying to knock myself out.

You got to make this believable.

You got to make me believe you're trying to...

The fly had just flown past.

Okay, all right.

You're pretending you're aiming for the fly.

Okay.

Maybe I'm trying to yank the pillar onto the fly.

Okay.

Okay.

I got you.

I got you.

Okay.

Roll.

I'll give you a plus one for that.

Minus one.

Eight.

All right.

Seven.

You pull real hard.

You yank the pillar.

It comes crumbling down.

You're so strong.

Crushes the fly.

You actually do a cool flip and land on one foot.

The crowd is loving this.

They are going.

Bob, we're selling it.

We're selling it, Bob.

Yeah, I've never sold so hard in my life.

All right.

The elevator comes up.

I lock onto the fly, launch myself like a missile.

One fly down.

I land.

I wheel around.

I see a fly just flying towards one of the pillars, just and I pretend like I'm trying to get the fly, but I wrap my tongue around the pillar and pull it towards myself, and it falls over.

And I flip really cool through the air.

And for some reason, I land on one leg all crazy.

The crowd is going fucking wild.

And I have the stadium guy ready to go and he plays my

victory song.

And it's that song from that Disney movie where it goes, Hello, my darling.

Hello, my sweetheart.

Hello, my right time gal.

And I do that dance that the frog does, where it's like the frog can can.

And I'm showboating and paying no attention to the next fly who's definitely gonna get me.

I gotcha.

That's great.

Minus one for not paying attention to your surroundings.

Go for it.

Hello, baby.

Hello, man.

I rolled a 14.

God dang.

Okay, well.

All right.

12.

Well,

hello, my baby.

Hello, my baby.

We should fucking kick that fly into the stratosphere.

You killed on an emote.

The crowd is fucking losing their mind.

This is the greatest deathmatch they've seen in years.

We might be the best frog ever.

This is unbelievable.

Your wife is very nervous right now, and all the debt you owe owe to all the gangster frogs are just like, they're starting to get real mad.

So

you're alive.

And I'm guessing your song's done or unless it's still going.

Wade, you'll decide if it's still going.

All right.

Elevator comes up.

I pop out.

Don't look anywhere.

Lock onto the fly.

Mouth wide open.

Jump for it.

Land.

Look over.

See the pillar.

Wrap my tongue around that baby.

Yank it down.

Smash.

Jump up.

Land on one foot.

All cool.

Like, crowds going fucking wild.

I grab my top hat cane.

Hello, my baby.

Hello, my honey.

Hello, my ragtime gal.

Kicking my legs like a fucking madman.

And then I jump up in the air, mouth agape, looking for a big swarm of flies that I'm gonna try to just barely miss and land mouth open on the ground, hoping to split my face in half.

Holy shit!

Oh my god!

All right, minus we're up to minus three now.

There's a one

five.

All right.

So you actually caught the other fly platform that had just raised because they were trying to even the odds.

You were just destroyed the first two.

So they sent a whole like school bus's worth.

Not a school bus, but you know, like a group.

School bus of flies.

A rafter of flies.

A rafter of flies came up here.

Oh, their little fly life mess.

They're like, okay, all right.

We're going to show.

Oh,

Just right in there.

You do land on the ground.

It kind of hurts a little bit, but you know, it didn't do any permanent damage.

A group of flies is either a swarm, a cloud, or a business.

It was a business of flies.

It was a business of flies.

So, Bob, your turn is starting.

You are mouth like fully splayed out on the ground.

Perfectly T-shaped hand, mouthstand.

The elevator comes up.

I launch myself like a missile, mouth open, and

beat the first fly, land, wheel around, see the fly going by the pillar, wrap my tongue around the pillar, pull it over, fling myself into the air, do a cool flip, land on one leg.

Hello, my baby, hello, my darling, hello, my rantime gal.

Do the whole emote while I'm emoting.

Poo-pew!

Kick a guy, fly way the hell out of into space.

After that, for some reason, I decide I'm gonna nose dive at the earth as violently as possible.

And while consuming the entire business of flies that just came up out of of the elevator, I land mouth open, like a springtrap,

ready to snap shut on my next victims.

And I decide there's been a lot of action.

There's been a lot of showboating.

It's time to draw everyone in.

I'm going to chill it out.

And

I'm going to play the Venus fly trap move.

I'm going to stay there with my mouth on the thing.

And I'm going to make the flies think like, oh, he's hurt.

Oh, this is our chance.

And I'm going to try and lure them in.

And then when they get close, I'm going to just try and like snap them.

Okay.

All right.

Is that trying to lose?

Yeah, well, I'm giving them an opening, right?

Oh, okay.

You're giving them.

I'm going to act like I'm going to get them, but I'm letting them get a whole business of flies get an opening in.

And then I'm going to try and fight back, but it's going to be pretty half-hearted, right?

Okay, gotcha.

Okay, I got it.

Got it.

Got it.

Okay.

And the whole crowd is going to be like, oh, and you control.

And then

you suck the air out of the room.

Yeah.

All right.

Okay.

All right.

I'll give it to you.

Minus four then?

Minus five.

You're at mine now.

Come on.

Come on.

We're all 12s.

Your tactic,

you were so scary.

The first literally 10 seconds of this match was just utter annihilation.

No flies going towards you.

They are so scared, but there is now a ring of flies that have entered the arena, but they are just around you.

Like, he's not moving.

What do I do?

So they're preparing.

They're there.

And they're ready for something, but they are too scared to attack you.

Wade.

Elevator goes up.

I launch myself at the nearest fly.

Mouth agape.

Land.

Look for the nearest pillar.

Tongue out.

Pull it down.

Fucking fling myself up.

Land on one leg.

Looking all badass.

Grab my top hat cane.

Hello, my baby.

Hello, my honey.

Hello, my ragtime girl.

Jump up like a fucking missile.

Mouth agape.

Go straight down to land.

Mouth open, I wait for the flies to comb and swarm in.

Whenever they get close, Venus fly trap them, which I do successfully.

And then I jump up, rip off the arm sleeves of my tuxedo, and I say, let's amp this baby up.

And I pull the chains of doom that unleash the rings of fire in the alligators.

And then I start fucking bouncing on the alligators' mouths and through the rings of fire, thinking one of these fuckers is going to kill me as I go for the flies.

Holy shit.

All right.

So the river's on fire.

On fire.

The river's on fire.

There are alligators released.

You have torn your sleeves off.

I'm wearing my tuxedo jacket for the hell of my baby bit, right?

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

So now it's a six or I need it's a minus five, right?

So six.

Minus, it's minus six right now.

15.

All right.

Man, greatest show the audience has ever seen in their fucking life.

Gasoline spills onto the river, lights on fire.

You've got your oiled-up gators with an oil that's inflammable resistant.

You're bouncing on all of them, boing, boing, like Donkey Kong in the alligator levels.

Boing, boing, boing, boing.

And meanwhile, the flies are so

mesmerized, they are sitting ducks for you.

They get caught up in the flames.

Alligators snapping flies left and right.

And meanwhile, you are just bouncing around.

You land in the middle of all the fire.

Superman landing.

So

there's not many flies left.

Bob, can you lose?

The elevator comes up.

I launch myself like a missile.

Mouth open.

Get the first fly.

Cool landing.

Turn around.

Fly and go by the pillar.

Wrap my tongue around the pillar.

Pull it down.

While I pull it down, I fling myself into the air.

Do a cool flip.

Land on one leg.

Hello, my baby, hello, my honey, doing ragtime, whatever.

I don't know the words of that song.

Why did I pick that?

After I do my showboating and I kick the one fly into space, I launch myself straight up and come straight back down, mouth open, boom, land like a bear trap, but face the wrong way.

And then I wait, and the flies line up around me, and then

they don't do anything.

And then I tear the sleeves off of my tuxedo, and then I pull the chains of doom

which unleashes the river of fire and all the alligators and then I'm like a little ninja just like wah through the mouths of the alligators.

We're running low on flies.

I know I'm gonna have to do something really crazy and I decide what I'm gonna do is I wanna eat I want to cook my last few flies like a kebab and what I need to do is land in the mouth of one of the alligators and rip off one of their longest teeth and then get the flies on the tooth and then roast them over the river of fire before I eat them just to make it a whole show for the people.

Holy shit.

So I'm land, so I'm trying to get the tooth.

That's my move.

I land in the mouth of an alligator and I'm like,

I'm trying to like rip a tooth out.

All right.

Yeah, that is going to be very dangerous.

You're at a negative seven.

Is this going to be the one?

I wouldn't, I couldn't roll another 20.

Couldn't possibly.

That That one!

All right, as you are split-legged Van Dam style in between the alligator's mouth, pulling on its tooth, you look up one last time at your wife, knowing that she placed a bet for you to lose via consumption in the eighth round

to a hazard, which was like the best bet you could possibly highest odds ever.

It was like, there's no way it would happen.

Plus 3,000 odds on that bet.

You look at her, she blows, you kiss, and you don't blow it back because I'll blow your cover.

Your legs snap in half, and you get snapped, and you get eaten.

Boom, done.

And then the alligator gets consumed in the fires.

So there's no evidence of your body.

Congratulations, Bobby Law.

You're dead.

Woohoo!

I did it.

I knew I just want to say

I'm glad to take that round.

I had from almost the very beginning, I had thought up that the frog mobsters that I owed money to were somehow going to be worked into the story and they were going to tell me that I'll live to rebit this.

Because like live to regret it, live to rebit it.

I couldn't find a way to get that in there, but like, this is going away, so I just wanted to get that out of my head, or

I would have been holding on to that for the rest of the episode.

I'm glad you were able to clear your conscience of that.

This episode is brought to you by Petivity.

In every pet's story, there is a moment.

A moment where seemingly minor changes could be the first signs of larger issues.

Petivity is reimagining pet care to help you better understand what's going on with your pets with smart devices and at-home health tests that proactively monitor their health.

Visit Petivity.com this fall for a site-wide sale on all smart devices and at-home health tests.

Think your lashes have hit their limit?

Discover limitless length and full volume with Maybelline Sky High Mascara.

The Flex Tower brush bends to volumize and extend every single lash from root to tip.

And the lightweight bamboo-infused formula makes lashes feel weightless.

Now in eight bold shades, so you can take your lashes to new heights every day.

Visit Maybelline.com to shop Sky High Mascara now.

Okay, all right, man.

We were, man.

Oh, you're so only have time for like one more.

All right, I got

this.

You're sitting at your kitchen table, looking at the piles and piles of bills around you.

You have no idea how you were going to take care of this, but you finally came up with a plan.

You're not going to let those goddamn loan sharks take your land, your home that's been in your family for years and years and years, nor your farm.

You write your letter to your insurance agents saying,

dear penthouse insurance, I can't believe what's going to happen to me in case I die.

I'm buying a lot of life insurance.

You send the letter, you grab your shotgun, hop in your thresher, you drive that bad boy down to the barn, hop out, lock eyes with that damn pig,

with that rolled-up blanket that he can't be without, and you're gonna make it look like a horrible industrial accident or mauled by the pig or whatever have you.

There's not gonna be multiple pigs, so you got to like figure out how to die in a perfectly believable way for the insurance to

do something about it.

Who goes first?

Switch.

Go first.

All right.

I get off my tractor.

Thresher.

I grab my audio.

I got my thresher.

Grab my audio recorder and hit record.

Dear Abby, I can't believe this is about to happen to me.

And I go and I set some bear traps for the pig.

I'm going to lure this pig onto the bear trap.

Oh no, I left my shotgun on the other side.

That's okay.

I'll just cross over and get it.

I'm agile.

And I run across the bear traps.

And sure, his code is gonna believe this one.

All right, girl.

Incoming that one.

17.

All right, you step over the bear trap.

That's it.

That doesn't go up.

Bob?

My turn.

You still have the audio recorder.

Yeah, okay.

I step down from the thresher.

I get out my audio recorder for some reason and say, dear Abby, I can't believe what's about to happen.

And then just ignore that for the rest of eternity.

And then I

go into the barn, lean my shotgun against one wall, set out some bear traps for the pig, and then realize, oh, I'm on the other side of the bear traps for my shotgun, and very safely walk around the bear traps and go get my shotgun.

And then I'm like, ah, I know what will cause, I'll know how I'll get the pig to step into the bear traps.

I'll shoot my gun into the air and I take my shotgun inside the barn.

And I, without looking at anything or thinking, I just go

and knock my headphones off so I can't hear.

I just fire it around and see what happens.

Hopefully there are no lanterns full of flammable oil or anything.

So your objective is to spook the pig into causing your demise.

I see.

You know, scare the pig into the bear traps.

All right, minus one.

That's an 11.

All right.

So you go.

Boom!

Boosh!

The pig goes,

resumes making sweet love to its blanket.

It really loves that blanket.

Betsy, Betsy.

Sorry, Betsy.

Well, how could you forget such a classic?

All right, so there's two holes in the roof, and you're, I'm guessing it's a double-barrel kind of shotgun situation.

Yeah, so it's like a break-action shotgun.

Both shells are spent currently.

You'll need to reload if you want to shoot it again.

I dismount the thresher.

I grab my tape recorder, which I will definitely be utilizing as evidence throughout this entire thing.

And say, Dear Abby, I can't believe what's about to happen to me.

I'm going to get rich.

I place my bear traps.

That was in my head.

Best rewriting history.

No, you said it.

You said it into the recording.

No, now it's in the recording.

I go and I place my shotgun down, place a bunch of bear traps, and I say, oh, I forgot my shotgun.

That's okay.

I'm agile.

I run around the bear traps very safely.

Get my shotgun.

I think to myself, I can scare.

I say to myself out loud, I can scare this pig into the bear traps.

Boom.

Fire my shotgun twice into the air.

Oh, I made two holes in my roof, but didn't scare the pig around.

I know.

I'll get Betsy.

That'll lure the pig.

So I grab Betsy.

Oh, I've also got to carry my shotgun and reload it.

I better put Betsy on my back.

Whoops.

Dropped my bullets.

I bend over with Betsy on my back, right with my face above the bear traps, thinking piggy comes in for the hump.

Facey go trap.

Facy go trap?

are you saying all this into the recording?

No, no, that's something that's just for you.

I love the recorder because it just destroys any credibility that this is an accident.

Just

record

five.

You're bent over with Betsy on your back.

Abby for the memes.

Yeah, of course.

Who's Abby?

It's a column you can write into.

Dear Abby.

I was like, what's the opposite of Penthouse Forum?

Probably Dear Abby.

I got you.

Okay.

All right.

A six is not going to do it.

That's a four.

Not going to do it.

No.

Okay, so

the pig, I'm guessing, is kind of confused.

Maybe now is realizing that Betsy was not actually a pig and was a rolled-up blanket.

Your back is kind of damp now.

I'm not going to tell you why.

And you're bent over the bear trap, but it didn't take the bait.

It wasn't Go Humpy.

It's actually kind of devastated right now because its love is then revealed as a rolled-up blanket.

Bob.

Okay,

I get down from the thrusher.

I get out my tape recorder and I say, dear Abby, I can't believe what's about to happen to me.

I'm about to be rich.

I think

inside my head,

I'm about to kill a pig.

I say out loud for the tape recorder.

Good, yeah, that's good.

I think inside my head, I'll lay out some bear traps to get this pig.

I say out loud for the tape recorder, I'm going to kill this pig the same way I always have with bear traps.

But then I realize after setting out the bear traps that I left my shotgun on the other side, I'll jump right through them and die, I think internally.

I'll walk safely around them, I say out loud, and do

I go get my shotgun, then think to myself, what if I just fire randomly?

That's pretty dangerous.

I say out loud, I'll scare the pig, just like normal, by firing both shotgun rounds through these holes in the roof.

Boom, boom, boom!

The pig is not scared.

I am defeated.

I realize I'm gonna need to escalate things.

I go and I pick up Bessie, but I also need to reload my shotgun.

So I put Bessie over my shoulders and I think to myself, I'll bend over with my face over the bear traps, and then the pig will come try and fuck Bessie, and then Facey go trappy.

I say out loud, oh no, I've dropped my shotgun shells.

I will bend down now and pick them up to reload my shotgun.

Which I do, and the pig is no longer interested in Bessie.

I reload my shotgun.

I turn on the pig angrily.

And I think to myself, how the fuck am I going to get this stupid pig to kill me?

And I say out loud, all right, time to kill you, pig.

I take Bessie off my shoulders, and I toss her into the bear traps.

It just,

Bessie is murdered.

It's still a blanket.

But I hope that this enrages the pig and that will cause the pig to charge at me and get revenge for sweet bessie i thought all of that i didn't say that out loud out loud i say oh no i dropped the blanket onto the bear traps

everybody good oh man i'm

i'm sweating i'm sweating man yeah man you just need a if

i'm assuming that gives you a minus one so you're down to you stay a four just need a four or lower I wish I could give you more than minus one, but man.

Oh, man.

You got all that weight.

You're gonna have to remember if it doesn't work.

All right.

I got a five.

Oh, shit.

I needed a four, didn't you?

It was at minus four.

It's minus four.

He got the one.

That gives him one.

We're trying to get one or, I guess, lower, but.

I thought you were odd.

Zero, one, two, three.

I thought you were at minus three.

Is it minus four?

He's minus four.

I feel like I'm one off on every one.

No, yeah, I've been keeping track.

Okay.

All right.

I'll remember all that.

That's fine with me.

So it worked.

There was just enough of that attachment to that soggy blanket that got snapped up by the bear traps that the pig was enraged.

Not only does it push you over, sadly, the bear traps are already trapped, but knocks over the fire lamp that was up above.

You go, oh no, I can't get up for the recorder.

But I think to myself, yes, I've done it.

I'll die now.

I also think and say out loud, ow, why is it not so bad?

I think and say, oh, fire!

It burns!

Okay, well done, guys.

That'll do it.

Only two rounds, but holy shit.

Bob, the fucking say out loud.

Thinking myself.

Oh my god, that's so funny.

These are crazy.

Oh, you had to use the tape recorder.

I just

had to get dear Abby in there.

My joke was too funny to leave out.

Points.

Mandy's got one for iron.

Iron within, iron without.

Wade, you got pen threaten.

Point.

Michael Douglas approved.

Cooking makes him mad.

Point.

You lost a point for listening, so doink.

But you got two for laughing at my joke.

I give you a double point for that.

Unfortunately, you didn't lose.

Bob!

He doesn't know what a kitchen is.

Yes, chef.

Two, three, four.

You got a point for listening.

James sprinted off a mountain.

You're immortal.

You lost to the frog and you lost to the pig.

And you made me laugh so hard, I gave you another point.

That's fair.

All right.

That's eight to

four.

Nearly impossible to come back from that, but it wasn't that.

Don't manage that.

I said nearly.

I said nearly.

Negative points turned to positive points.

It could be.

It could flip over.

Oh, the name of the game is.

No, I'm just kidding.

Yeah, hold on.

Does that mean Bob lost two points by winning?

he he won two points by losing i can no i can see what you're getting at but yeah i won yeah anyway how many spins is it gonna be all right

two two it could something could happen it's not not possible uh uh what are you adding mark he who is immortal shall win this point that's just a bob point isn't it you might become immortal i guess so but you'll all you'll always be immortal i'll say he who is immortal he who is immortal wins a point.

So, like, if either of you also becomes immortal,

it would just we like we could

apply to more than one person.

Feels fair to me.

Yeah.

Hey, he's the host.

He can put whoever he wants on there.

We've done us points before.

Two spins.

Spin number one.

I guess it was more so just clarifying that neither one of us is currently immortal.

It's just Bob.

Half point for win.

Oh, that could get closer.

It's closer.

Only three and a half down, baby.

All right.

One more spin.

Don't call it a comeback.

The most impressions?

Does hello my baby, hello, my honey?

Does that count as an impression?

The impression of technically is of the frog that does it.

That's true.

I didn't know the lyrics, but I did the voice.

You did it more times than me because you did it the last time to win.

Yeah, because it would have been Bob did it first and then way and then Bob, then way, then Bob, then way and then Bob finished it.

So, yeah, technically you did that impression more.

Yeah, is that the only impression we did?

That's a plus one for Bob, and that'll wrap it up at a solid, commanding nine points.

Doubled my score.

Yeah, almost.

Well, actually, no, literally, yeah, with that half, it is exactly double.

Not too far in numerical points,

but you know, that was a very strong, strong finish.

After a first few really good seasons, man, this is not my season.

This is you guys.

I mean, well, we got it.

You won all the other ones, so we gotta catch up sometime, but man, my back was starting to hurt, but good to see you guys succeed.

All right, Wade, you get your loser's speech then.

Listen, I may have lost.

I lost outright.

I deserve to lose, but I feel like a winner seeing my friends succeed and host and use up all their ideas finally.

Because I've been out for ages with all of my winning.

I won so much, I didn't know what to do anymore.

So it's nice to kick back, relax, and see the others get to work work a little bit uh thank you wait uh bob uh these episodes always turned out fun i always have a good time feels good to win an episode that was also really fun to do so i'm just having a great day you know you won the coin flip too i know i became immortal it was pretty i it was pretty funny

funny bits this is a heck of an episode This is your greatest day ever as far as episodes go.

I mean, it couldn't go much better than being immortal and winning.

I mean, we're going to have to see how the immortal thing plays out, but but like,

I have a lot of faith in that, yeah.

I mean, it's backed by the guarantee of the listeners, so, and the viewers, probably.

So you can take that to the bank, and you guys can take this episode to the bank and show the tellers there when you share Distractible with a random stranger in your life.

Be sure to follow the podcast and make everyone around you that you don't know follow it as well.

And if they already follow it, make them follow again.

You can make multiple accounts.

Listen twice.

Yes, I told you to do that follow these guys wherever they may be my screen lord mining 7779 mark also known as markablier thank you again for listening and or watching podcast out

watch new episodes on spotify

your teen adjective used to describe an individual whose spirit is unyielding unconstrained one who navigates life on their own terms effortlessly They do not always show up on time, but when they arrive, you notice an individual confident in their contradictions.

They know the rules, but behave as if they do not exist.

Moutine, the new fragrance by Mew Mew, defined by you.