Papa Johns 3 with Steve Sladkowski

This is a Head Gum podcast.

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The ranks of fast food royalty, much like real royalty, are filled with ghouls.

McDonald's Ray Kroc, who brazenly marked Zuckerberg away the rights to the restaurant empire founded by the McDonald brothers.

Chick-fil-A's Dan Cathy, who opposed same-sex marriage and funneled money to support conversion therapy.

Carl's Jr.

Hardy's Andrew Puzder, who graduated from lawyer for the anti-abortion lobby to burger CEO overseeing a famously sexist marketing campaign.

But perhaps none is more notorious, not to mention more physically ghoul-like, than John Schnodder, who opened his eponymous pizza restaurant in Jeffersonville, Indiana in 1984 and began franchising almost immediately.

By the 2000s, this upstart Hoosier Pizzeria had grown to compete with national stalwarts Domino's, Pizza Hut, and Little Caesars, and Schnodder was not just the founder and CEO, but, like a darkest timeline Dave Thomas, its on-camera mascot.

However, the combination of commercial fame and immense wealth rotted the man from within and/or shed the superficial layers concealing an already rotten core.

By the 2010s, photos and videos showed the pizza patriarch at various states of inebriation and cosmetic alteration.

At first known for capping his spots by saying the tagline, better ingredients, better pizza, he turned to slurring his way through barely coherent Instagram videos, including one where he describes a cheeseless pizza with the word salad phrase, it's like dating a red-headed girl with no hair.

Schnutter was formally purged from the company after using a racial slur in a 2018 conference call, and while his likeness was removed from marketing, the company still uses his name as its brand.

It's like if Subway was named Jared Sandwiches.

Still, the company has improved its standing since Schnodder's departure and is now under the stewardship of former Wendy CEO Todd Pennegar.

In 2024, discussing his transition from leading the third largest burger chain to the third largest pizza chain, Pennegar told Nation's Restaurant News, quote, pizza is a lot different from hamburgers.

Now, that's a fast food mogul who's got his head on straight.

This week on Dough Boys, we return once again to Papa John's.

Welcome to Dough Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host,

Low T-Man, Master of the Spooniverse, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell.

Oh, like He-Man.

I guess that's off of He-Man, yeah.

Low T-Man.

The construction started right on time.

God damn it.

They're installing security cameras here at Headgum today.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

Because there's no one ever here, so they want to make sure.

I regularly play clips of the show for my doctor husband, who does not listen to particularly like it.

So I really hope you pick my roast so I can silently stare at him excitedly while I make him listen to you guys read it out.

Thanks for all you guys do.

Emily C.

Never Frozen on the dose court.

Hi, Emily C.

Roasted BirdFuck.com.

Emily C.

Good.

I liked it.

A good roast.

Yeah.

If you watch those security cameras, it will be like, it will be like a post-apocalyptic movie where there's just like, if you scan through it, there's just nothing.

Nobody is here.

Nothing in the office is happening.

And then randomly, Amelia and I show up at 1 a.m.

to take a shit.

You see see the doughboys come in and go to it off once a week.

Wise,

I finished a 93-hour fast.

How about that?

93-hour water fast.

I just finished a 93-hour water fast.

Let me tell you how.

I don't know.

I thought it would be cool, like a social media clip.

Yeah, it was a cool like start, like way in.

I just didn't feel like you had no place to go from there.

Yeah, it was kind of hard.

Tell us how.

I just drank water for 93 hours.

It was kind of hard.

What was happening to you digestively, brain-wise?

Like, how were you feeling like from hour one all the way till hour 90?

I'll say this.

From the hour one until I ended, zero BMs.

Wow.

Wow.

I know.

Is that normal?

I was Googling and it

appeared that some people do have, and I was drinking a lot of water, you know what I mean?

And I had Chipotle before I started.

My last meal was Chipotle.

So I was like, why?

And it was like, cause I kind of was like, one, I was craving a chicken burrito from Chipotle.

And I said this, we just, we did Gareth Reynolds' pod.

That's right.

And

I was saying, I really like the Chipotle sour cream.

Yes.

Which, you get it.

The Chipotle source cream is good.

It's a good sour cream.

I mean, I'm not sure.

No one does.

I'm not sure if I get it.

It's just, I think there's.

It has its own, it has a more watery consistency, I guess.

It's not as.

I don't know.

It's almost like a marshmallow-y sour cream to me.

I love it.

You think of it as fluffier.

I think of it as more watery.

I just think think of it.

It is more like a crema.

It is, yeah, it's a bit like a creme.

I don't think it was watery, though.

You mean marshmallow like a marshmallow cream?

It's got a thinner consistency, yeah, like a sauce, marshmallow sauce, like a marshmallow cream.

Yeah, it's got a thinner consistency than like you know, like some daisy sour cream or some knudsen you'll get from the grocery store.

Sure, sure, sure.

Is that how you use it?

Is it no?

I just say, I just say the K.

How do you say?

Is it Nudson?

I think it's Nudsen.

Nudsen.

Yeah.

Might be Nudsen.

I

just, yeah, I just, look.

You're craving Chipotle.

You have that Chipotle burrito.

You take that to the dome.

You don't drink anything for, or you don't eat anything additionally for 93 hours and you don't take one shit the entire time.

And either, I did seem like I was on drugs at one point.

Yeah.

I went and saw.

Do you think that Chipotle is just turning into pure like fuel?

Like, do you think it just?

I think I converted my Chipotle into pure energy.

Wow.

Yeah, that, that, that sour crema was just running through my veins.

Like you tossed that burrito football, tossed it right into the sun.

That's kind of what happened, I guess.

Wow.

I don't know.

I went and saw 28 years later.

I did too.

We'll just say we were recording this episode well in advance as maybe people can.

Sure.

It's within a month of it coming out.

It's

the first thing I knew about it from you before I saw it is that there's a big hog in it.

Yeah.

Not just for me.

It was the Blake Czech guys.

Yeah, but

you also thought that was real.

I thought it was real at first.

That's insane.

It's such a huge, it's such

a massive

acid dong.

There's a lot of hogs in this movie.

Like, it's like there's a lot of like just nude zombies running around and a lot of them have

yeah but you only see really kind of the the alphas are the ones that you think they focus on the alpha who are the bit you know the big burly and the alphas both have huge dong they have huge so i think a part of being an alpha in the an alpha zombie is having this huge dong also i thought it was just i was just good casting like they just found an actor who like had the right look and had a big dick and they're like there you go you got the part it's huge it's gigantic yeah it would be like an unusable it would be like unusable you think unusable Yes.

I don't know.

I'm sure you could find some uses for it, but I'm saying like

I'm sure, and I'm sure that person could find some uses for it, but it's that sort of thing of like,

I think you'd be jacking off and be like, I'm lightheaded.

Like, there'd be too much blood going to like

the Milton Burrel.

Yes.

Sort of that.

He had that famous line about like, when I get an erection, I pass out.

Yeah.

I mean, he's a little too proud of his.

He loved to show it off.

He loved it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Which is, that really holds up the test of time.

He loved to show it off.

But

he, I, I, I,

to me, it seems like an unusable

hog.

It seems unusable.

I, I mean, sure, fine.

I thought it was a real.

So, like, you got me, all right.

Danny Boyle, you tricked me.

You're picking up.

Yeah, you found a sucker who thought it was a real hog, but no, it was prosthetic.

Uh,

that thing, sir, is a sucker.

You can.

I'm saying,

sounds like you thought of a use for it.

I'm saying, it would be hard.

You're getting like an eighth.

You're not getting a lot of that thing in your mouth if you're even trying.

Speak for yourself.

Jeez.

Things are going to be grazing my uvula.

Oh, my God.

It will go past your uvula.

It's huge.

Have you seen the movie?

It's gigantic.

Burning the tip with acid reflux.

Oh, my God.

All right.

I'm buying a ticket to this movie.

That's a good movie.

I really enjoyed it.

The hog comes out with an apple on it.

So it's a fucking full apple that you swallowed, I guess, apparently.

Wages coming back from the wait, but you were going somewhere.

You saw 28 weeks later, this was during the

hyped up.

I felt like I was on drugs.

And I was saying to Rogers, I was like,

I know it sounds like an RFK thing.

Buddy Ben Rogers,

but it's not an RFK thing.

I'm doing this thing.

I was just going

a million miles per minute.

And I was like, oh, I sound crazy.

And he's like, the fact that you keep saying it's

not an RFK thing

makes me feel like it is an RFK thing.

And also, I was just like, I was so wired up.

The energy it gave me was kind of crazy.

But then I did a walk yesterday.

I did like a four-mile walk before I ended it.

And that, and I almost died.

Like, that really was, it was killing me.

What's your first meal on the other end of it?

Great question, Box.

I did a Fayette yogurt.

Fun.

And I went to my other fruit cart guy,

the other fruit cart guy.

Victor wasn't around.

And I hope you're doing great, Victor.

And I got some mango and watermelon from my other fruit cart guy, this other fruit cart guy.

So I ate some of the mango, some of the watermelon, a fiery yogurt, and I did bone broth.

I know some of that elephant

doesn't, you know, it doesn't mix really.

And pickles.

I had a few pickles.

But it was funny because when I first started eating, it happened a little bit earlier with our meal.

It was like hurting the back of my throat.

Yeah.

And I think it's just because I haven't eaten anything in so long.

So this was

like you got to the cleanse yesterday.

We're recording on a Tuesday.

You ended on Monday?

Yes.

Wow.

I ended up Monday.

My last meal was Thursday at 6.30.

I finished eating my last meal at Thursday at 6.30 p.m.

And then I had my first bite of food Monday at about 3.30 p.m.

Do you plan to make this a regular thing?

No.

Got it.

No.

I mean, I might do it again because honestly,

there were benefits from it.

So I might do it again.

It is hard.

I mean, four days was fucking hard.

It's a long time.

It's a long time to not eat food.

Yeah.

And we love food.

Yeah, I know.

That's why we almost didn't do the place we were going to do today.

That's true, but you rallied.

I rallied.

I broke it.

I broke three hours earlier than I was going to.

I was going to do a full four days, but I wanted to have two meals in no matter what we did.

And so then we got this big sloppy place instead.

It was great.

There you go.

Anyways, Wags, let's hit him with a drop, Emma.

Woo-hoo.

Drop loading.

Drop loading.

Drop loading.

I love the finch man.

I'm a stinch man.

Famous cat man.

He's a big time cat man.

I like the finch man.

Love the finch man.

Oh, it's Ben Afflex Dick.

We love the finch man.

Thank you, the finch man.

Thank you for joining us.

Ben Afflex Dick, the finch man.

Your kids are gonna love it

Your kids are gonna love it

your kid your kids are gonna love it.

Your kids are gonna love it.

The dope was they were cool podcasts back when I was a kid

Meow

we love Ben Applex Dick Irma

Are we gonna get D what DC?

What is it?

DMA

DCMA

DK said he put it up on YouTube and it did not catch the

copyright scrubs.

Hey, all right.

All right.

I guess we'll find out if Spotify feels the same.

Hey, Spoonman, here's a stupid drop that I made.

I was inspired by your most recent episode with Warren Maguire.

Okay, so this is...

Is it

December 8th, 2022?

Is this email?

I have to, I have so many dishes.

Are people just not sending drops in anymore?

No, there's a particular reason he picked this one.

I think it's at the end of the email.

I have so many dishes and dirty clothes to clean, but I made this instead.

I know you and Nick are extremely hard on yourselves, but I wanted to mention how much joy I get out of your podcast.

I'm up in Toronto, Canada.

Wow.

And I can't even try most of the food you review.

Maybe that's a good thing, question mark.

Despite that, I can't get enough of you and you're in Nick's relationship in the way you think.

Hmm.

Your show has been, I mean, we've never been, I mean, no one's ever thought of us as much as thinkers, so that's kind of nice.

I don't know.

I think we're pretty good.

Kind of the philosopher kings of our age.

Hey, I like that.

Yeah.

Your show has been

a legitimate help in getting me through this pandemic as someone with mental health issues.

You're both a lot better guys than you give yourselves credit.

That's very kind of you.

I hope you enjoy Don't Hate the Drop and please come to Toronto sometime.

Thanks, John.

We did it.

We did it.

We did it, John.

I hope you were there.

We were there.

I don't listen to the podcast anymore.

John might not listen to the podcast anymore.

P.S.

I'm old university friends with Steve from the band Pup.

What?

And I love that you folks all know each other.

Wow.

Loved seeing you in the video for Matilda, which is, which is,

as the kids say, that's a banger of a song, by the way.

This is me.

This is me editorializing this.

PPS, I also loved you in Love.

I think you stole the show as Randy.

That's very kind.

Wow.

That's nice.

Thank you.

That's very nice words.

Wow.

What a transition point.

Hey, roastedbirdfuck.com.

Let's just bring him in here now.

I love it.

From Pup, Steve Slitkowski is here.

Hi, Steve.

Hi.

Thank you for

being here.

Yeah, I won the fuck a fan contest.

You get to choose which one of us fuck you.

Both.

Does John have a last name?

Well, I could tell.

He just wrote John.

Oh, bleep it if you.

Oh, okay.

His name is.

Do you want me to tell you?

We'll bleep it.

Yeah, so we can bleep it.

John.

Oh, my God.

Amazing.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's great.

Cool.

You got Pup.

Why is Pup is here?

No, you just mentioned it.

The video that Mitch is in.

Yep.

How great was that?

How did this come to?

How did that come together?

I think we pitched, or Jeff Dutton might have written the pitch and sent it to us, or we reached out to him for a pitch.

And

yeah, I think

just kind of with music videos for us now, it's like, the less work we have to do, the better.

Sure.

Like, we made a lot of really involved music videos kind of early on, but, but yeah, I love it.

You guys still put out great music videos.

I think it's a, it's a lot, a lost art in the music world, Wags.

I think that there's a lot of.

The Finch Man came up for music videos.

True.

It's his origin story.

As did

what's his name?

Who made Zone of Interest?

Oh, right.

Not going to be able to pull his name right now.

Jonathan Gladstone.

My pleasure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so that was cool.

And yeah, when I don't think he told us that you were going to be in it.

Oh, wow.

And And so when we like got the cut, I was like,

yeah, you play a very convincing pawn shop greaseball.

Oh, yeah.

It was, I mean, it was a blast.

I slicked my hair back.

Have you seen the music video?

You have.

Yeah.

I don't know if he has.

I've seen it.

I think we watched it

on an episode, right before an episode when it came out.

It was an honor to be a part of it.

It was cool as hell.

It was, that was, that record.

kind of came together during the pandemic, speaking of, and definitely was like, oh, maybe I don't have a job anymore.

You know, I don't know where you guys go.

Oh, 100%.

I like destroyed my YouTube algorithm during the pandemic because I would just be like on my couch, like kind of maybe stoned, maybe a little drunk, and be like, what is, what do I do?

Right.

And I would just like watch like old live clips.

So it just looks like I sit at home and watch myself like on YouTube.

Oh, wow.

Oh, sure.

But like in the depths of like pandemic depression, I was like, Will I ever do that?

Do I, yeah, like

you got it.

It was very strange.

That record kind of was the sort of first thing that we

kind of

did in the pandemic and kind of coming out of the pandemic, like

I think that was another thing for me too, just as an actor.

I was like, hey, I get to go and have like a fun role for the day.

And

it was a fucking blast.

I love doing it.

I mean, we should talk about this because directing me again, wise on top of it.

Very cool.

Because we certainly experienced this as podcasters where we had that moment where we're like, oh, this is maybe just over.

but pretty quickly on, we were, we, we saw our numbers go up and we're like, oh, wait, no, people actually are feeling lonely and isolated right now.

And so it's comforting to have the familiar voices.

So we're like podcasting is primarily a studio enterprise.

Like we are like, oh, we're actually going to be okay.

But, you know, as a musician, so much of your livelihood is via touring.

And that was just like completely shut down for a time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We were like, we were on the road.

We're like pretty sure in like early 2020, like COVID kind of ripped through our bus, like before everybody knew like what it was.

Cause like a couple of the guys were like the sickest I've ever seen them.

You guys also, we should say this, one of your openers was the Wuhan bat at that point.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We just, we, you know, we wanted like the lab leak 2020.

I've gone to a ton of Wuhan bats.

Have you ever seen the Wuhan bat live?

They're good, yeah.

No, he's, well,

him himself.

Oh, I thought you were saying like the Aqua Bats.

Like they were

like awesome.

Like they were like a group.

You're saying it's one guy.

Yeah, it's the Wuhan.

Okay, I'll take it again.

Yeah, I've seen him.

He's good.

And we just use that second.

Soundcloud rang, right?

Yeah, yeah.

You know what?

You know who

could have helped us?

Ozzy Osborne, if he bit the hat, if he bit the head off of that bat, he might have made things worse.

It might have been worse.

I guess Ozzy would have gotten it.

Yeah, that's the thing.

But if Ozzie put an end to that Wuhan bat, that's what I'm saying.

are you uncomfortable with me if ozzy turn is patient zero i think he might turn into an alpha that'd be the worst case scenario that is

like the mr burns like all the all the germs they just

stops in his body that would i mean there's a chance that he could have saved us in that way but also if he becomes the alpha does his hog grow how how does it work

um i think my head cannon is yes it grows because he i think they're just all they're getting bigger all around i think i think i think that the hogs do grow i think they do grow i think they do grow and i mean scientifically Scientifically would make sense.

Yeah, scientifically, it makes a ton of sense.

I hope that there's some clarification on this in

the new

28 years later, which is coming out in like January.

Yeah, we're getting a sequel coming soon.

Have you seen the movie yet?

I haven't seen it yet, but my question about it was, is it like, was it more than the Nosferatu hog?

Like, was it not a big one?

I never saw Nosferatu hog.

Big spoiler.

Yeah, no, I, trust me, Wager already told me that you see the Nosferatu hog.

Yeah, it was bigger.

Okay.

I think that, because the Nosferatu one, I I was like, I think, I wish they'd made more of a choice there.

I wish it had either been like huge or like just kind of like little.

You know, like just

give me something where it's like, oh, I get what's going on with Nasferatu.

Oh, no wonder he's so mad.

Yeah.

You weren't happy with the size of the hog in general in Nosferatu.

No, I just think that it could have been more of a choice.

It's just kind of a nondescript.

Like it's like a normal hog.

A normal normal to big normal to big hog, but like not like, you know, it's not notable.

Like the alpha one, he always just thinks hogs are.

The alpha one

affiliate's hog was just normal in gone girl he looks fine when you're watching also it was a prosthetic we found out every viewer i apparently was a prosthetic or cg i don't know yeah um but but every viewer of 28 weeks later comes away going like wow that thing is really something so it's because it's fake of course no but it's like it's like big like that one is like really like notably big and you're not surrounded you don't have this i've thought about it there's a lot of bird nesters like myself out there i sure that i that i knew

wait let's Let's go back to where you were before we went on this tangent.

You think everyone is people are getting sick on the tour bus before this is widespread.

You're on the road and then everything shuts down.

Yeah, so we were like, we were basically

like trying to outrun the states closing down.

Oh, sure.

So we would like.

That's why your bus is like making it on the state as it closes down.

But yes, we played, we were on the West Coast.

We played in Washington.

We did like, I think, Spokane and like Seattle.

And those

dates were kind of like they, it was starting to get weird.

Like you could just kind of,

like, what's going on?

Like, um,

we had a but the show in Seattle was sold out and a bunch of people no showed.

Wow.

And they were like, the venue was like giving gloves to like merch people.

Is this like, do you, do you know what?

Is this specifically March of 2020?

This was, yeah, like, like February, March.

February, March.

Wow.

Okay.

And so, like,

we finished that show in Seattle.

And then, then, like, at midnight, as we were, like, going to Oregon, uh, our show would have been, like, illegal had we

so it was like, it was literally like we were 24 hours ahead of all the state shutdowns.

Uh, and then by the time we played, the Rudy Gobert day was like, we were in Oregon.

Wait, Rudy Gobert.

We were also touring on this.

And we were supposed to play in

San Francisco and Sacramento.

And

like, we got to Redding, like, like, you know, Northern California there, and like everything was shut down.

So like the last meal we had was like at an Applebee's or something in Reading.

And I think

yeah, for the longest time, it was like, I was like, oh, that's the last restaurant I'll ever go to.

Yeah.

That's a possibility.

We flew out of San Francisco and the San Francisco airport was a ghost town.

It was like truly one of the most like.

apocalyptic strange

and then i was home for and i was like i don't know two years because

Like,

they essentially shut Canada like the day after we got back.

It was, it was wild.

It's here.

I mean, you could have been one of those stories of like, we got stuck in wherever.

We got stuck in Oklahoma and we're here for that.

I mean, that

like people who went on vacation and then got stuck.

And like, wasn't there, wasn't there someone who got like stuck like out of the country in like Costa Rica or something?

There was like crazy.

There are all sorts of stories like that.

There's like people who like went.

Yeah, there's people who like went on like

a tropical vacation are like we're stuck here uh but it's all over now so we're fine yeah it's all over now i'm not suffering from the effects of it no certainly not um uh we it's it's funny this this will show you i mean

the i'm glad that you're back touring again uh and then so matilda the album is the unraveling of the band pup is that pup of the band yeah yeah pup of the band thank you sorry um

and it was that was that album did you guys write that during the pandemic yeah yeah so we were like fully like masked up in our rehearsal space like air purifiers like the whole thing sure sure um and then we like were in a mansion in connecticut that was a recording studio so like we were not helling out like kind of living in this that's kind of fun as and then you have to see people and stuff like that a little bit right uh and then but yeah like the the that all kind of was it's it's just like such a strange

I'm glad we did that.

I'm glad we have that.

I think in a similar way that I'm sure like when you guys were recording, it was probably like, oh, this is like a time capsule in a way that like

us doing this is kind of, it's not the same, like, it's cool to be here, obviously, but I feel like it's so interesting to have that like records and movies and like podcasts and all that sort of stuff that happened in the pandemic is like a weird

capsule.

Yeah, that album rocks.

Oh, thank you, man.

I say, if, if, you know, what, if, if, if that, if a pandemic is going to lead to an album like that, bring them on, bring on more pandemics.

That's right.

Well, another thing that happened as a byproduct of the pandemic, we did a we did a live stream for one of our Munch Munch Madness finales, and a pup did a song for it at a restaurant, which we showed to everyone.

And it was like one of those things where it was just like such a,

we knew people would love it because it was great, but like the audience response was like so overwhelming.

It was kind of one of those things that in hindsight actually were kind of mad at you because you just were very, very good.

Well, we sucked you.

And then we were like, the fries are too salty or whatever the fuck we did.

I feel like we were very true to Doughboys, though, because Nestor, his very talented wife, was the one who actually wrote all the lyrics.

Oh, wow.

The four of us, she rewrote, you know, so the

more

successful wives.

That's broadly, I think, you know, it kind of, it was a, it felt like the right,

it felt like the right, uh, the right thing for that.

But it was cool.

Like, all those things, like, you would have never thought,

you know,

I don't know.

It was a strange time.

It was.

I'll just,

a quick anecdote, which we talked about before, is I came out to the Salt Lake City show in an N95 mask, and the audience laughed.

I mean, it was a joke at the time, but then we did a meet and greet afterwards.

But the funny thing for us is that Wags, remember, we did the meet and greet and we were just putting fucking.

I was just standing there with a big bottle of hand sanitizer asking people to use it.

And some people said no.

No, I'm good.

Mostly said no.

People mostly said no, and then we would, I mean, every hand we shook, we would do it, basically.

But um, and we somehow, by the grace of God, did not catch it on that, on that tour where, where we were on stage when Rudy Gobert made that announcement.

Wages announced it to the audience.

But, Wags, the thing that you said that was going to happen, the thing that we thought was going to happen that didn't was that you were, it was like, oh, we're all going to do it.

Once we figured out Zoom, it's like, oh, podcasting is now just a Zoom thing.

Right.

You have a home before you do it.

And then to your credit, you were like, I want to record in person.

And I was down to do that, of course.

but you were like, We should record in person again.

And then we did do it, and it is, it was so much better for the show.

And then also for you guys, I'm sure just being able to go on the road is just like, thank God we can do it again.

Yeah, for sure.

It's uh, it's been really nice.

I think I'm, I'm kind of, I'm definitely more appreciative

coming out of that over the last like, you know, three, four years, however long it's been.

It's just like, oh, this is, yeah, this is not something to take for granted.

I think we've been on the road for so long that it, um, you definitely can run into that a little bit.

And, and it's nice to feel like, yeah, like, like the meals on tour, you, you, you kind of are more appreciative of, and the shows themselves, and just being able to like get up and go to a museum or something if you have a day off, like all that sort of stuff.

Where before I was kind of like, oh, fuck, all right, I'll just do it.

Whatever.

Yeah.

You know, it's like, it's, it's, it is kind of nice to

be able to have that.

So you just mentioned museums.

I know you live in Toronto.

You're from Toronto.

I was up there for the first time last year.

We had Toronto Doe.

We did our Month of Toronto shows, and I had a great time.

Little Canada, I was absolutely charmed by.

Yes, yes, yes.

So one of Canada's finest museums.

Oh, I don't know.

It's akin to a museum.

But

have you been able to make it out to Little Canada?

I haven't yet.

I actually didn't know about it until you guys started talking about it on the pod.

Got to get Pup in there.

Yeah, we got to go check it out.

We got to get Pup in there.

Yeah, it just put us.

It might be the, like, we're doing some, I guess by the time this comes out, we'll have done the shows already, but we're doing a whole thing in Toronto for like a week wow at a bunch of different venues so maybe maybe that'll be the crowning kind of a lot of moment yeah just littlize ourselves but uh yeah no i i just make sure when you're there to get littlized and don't get downsized right wise i just want to give you a warning you don't want to get downsized because you can't reverse that right and then you just have to live in little canada that's yeah so just just a warning uh and i don't know if there is a downsizing option at little canada but like would did it cost more do we know like yeah would i i think they're very they're on a board next to each other, and it's kind of confusing.

It's easy to pick the wrong one.

I mean, with the cost of living in Toronto, it might be cheaper.

Yeah, yeah.

You guys are going to be outside of a music venue.

There was that place I walked by that maybe the stone, like the stones famously played at.

Oh, the El Macombo?

Is that what it is?

It's like on one of those long-spadina, yeah.

Spadina.

Does Spadina go right up to the university?

It sure does, yeah.

Okay.

Ironically, that is the venue that we first played coming back from COVID, and I'm pretty sure that's where I got COVID for the first time.

Wow, you know what, just looking at that place from the outside, it looks like a place you could get.

I think, I think they're like selling it right now at a loss.

Like, it was like a Dragon's Den guy who

poured a bunch of money in.

Dragon's Den, the Canadian equivalent of Shark Dennis, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Uh, uh, and uh, yeah, he it was definitely like uh not

uh well done.

Like, because the venue used to be like a crumbling, kind of shitty, but like charming right.

Like, you know, what was the name of it again?

I'm just gonna say the Elma Combo.

The Elma Combo.

And yeah, it was like famous.

You know, my dad would be like, oh, I saw like all these like old blues guys there in like the 60s and 70s.

Wow.

And then they just tried to make it this like modern, like cool, like, this is where you come and have your like, uh, your birthday party or like, we're going to have rock bands.

And they tried to put like a recording studio that was like floating in the upstairs.

And like, so they had a recording studio above a loud rock venue and like it just yeah right yeah like um just like installing security cameras while people are recording a podcast

yeah the sign is famous the the sign is pretty great it's a great sign that looks like it'd be famous that's so many so many of the uh transpo guys were like a lot of them like cross over to like roadies and territory like that and yeah and they were no while they were driving me they'd be like that's the stones would play there and stuff like that it was cool it was cool it was great sparky i i sparky i don't think it was a road i drove mick jagger once now i'm driving you yeah

there was one two rockers

i've had sex once um

uh there there were there there was i won't i won't name them by name but there was like uh

i shouldn't even say this all right it would they there were there were some transfer guys that were like it was crazy back on the day man i worked on the fly in like the movie the fly yeah Brunberg's The Fly.

And he's like, I had done Coke so much.

I was up for 80 hours

and I was driving Gina Davis.

And I was like, oh, man, Gina Davis could have gotten fucking killed.

And that's, by the way, not Sparky.

That's all I will say.

Sparky is not guilty.

So cool.

It was so, I mean, so many of the stories was like, was just like, I would get, like, we were just doing Coke in the Transpoke.

I was so much of that stuff.

And I was like, oh, geez.

I mean, I'm happy my drivers weren't like specifically Tramps, Transpo drivers weren't.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, definitely.

I like that.

I got the chilled out guys.

Anyway, Gina Davis almost died.

I'm sure.

I feel like the equivalent for us is like when you get like a bus driver, because we're like lucky to be on a tour bus now most of the time.

But the bus drivers have some fucking stories.

Oh, yeah.

And like, just like, yeah, we had this guy Ringo once who like lived on an island in the Gulf, like off of the coast of Alabama, who's just like, yeah, I eat squirrel.

And we're like, Hell yeah, Ringo.

Like, yeah, cool, man.

Like,

just like, you know, hearing weird stories.

He was like, Yeah, once I was like, uh, maroon fiverr on my bus, and something crazy happened.

You're like, Okay, sure, man.

Like, just transpo people are maybe the some of the, and I mean this in the, like,

I mean, this in a good way, are some of the craziest fucking people in the world.

And they are like, they have very interesting stories and they live, they live hard, I guess, is the way to

put it.

It's transpo people specifically.

So, I used to work on Comedy Centrals at Midnight.

The stage director there and his number two

was this guy, Jon Stewart, who's Kristen Stewart's father.

Yeah.

Of the Daily Show, right?

Yeah, same guy.

J-O-H-N-Swart,

Hollywood guy, he's worked forever, you know, shorter-length gray hair, great guy.

His number two on the his his the guy right underneath him was named Bones, just like his full name on the call sheet was Bones.

They were, they were both great, but they just had like endless stories.

Like they'd both been in Hollywood forever.

They'd leave set each day in the same convertible.

And

then you talk about it.

And now they're on at midnight talking to fucking your ass.

I know.

You're going to throw the stone at me.

So

they're talking to me.

They're talking to my dumb ass.

And every story is like, this isn't a real one, but somebody's like, I was working with Nick Nulty.

He shot me with a BB gun.

Anyway, Weiger, sorry, we don't have any Coke Zero.

Yeah, it's it's it's crazy.

Like, we were on a bus once and uh

uh

the band before us was Guar.

Oh, yeah.

Wow.

And we were just like, oh, well, we don't have space come.

Like, I don't know.

I'm like,

is there ice for my whiskey?

You know, like, it's just like,

uh, you open a cabinet to like put like some of your clothes away and like blood just comes up.

Yeah, yeah.

They're like, Guar.

Yeah.

What weird tentacle porno DVD is this?

Wait, so you're, yeah, I know you're on the road a lot.

You, you mentioned food earlier and you mentioned that that last visit to an Applebee's before everything shut down.

But like you, if you are touring, what are the clutch spots you want to stumble upon?

Yeah, I think it totally depends like where we are, right?

Sure.

Definitely trying the regional stuff.

I don't eat a ton of meat anymore, but

for the vast majority of the touring time,

any like fast food kind of stuff, like again, I think I was telling you guys before we started, like, that's how we discovered Doughboys initially was like, oh, we're like touring through the U.S.

and like going to a lot of these places.

And so it's like, oh, we can check out the chain, like, you know, but sorry, by the way.

Oh, no.

I mean, hey, like,

I

get, I think, how you guys, the way you guys talk about what you have to do for the pod feels a lot like touring, where sometimes you're like, I would love to eat well and you're like well i have 20 minutes so uh like a mcdonald's it is i guess you know but but mcdonald's has always been uh was always a go-to um well the other issue just in from from what we know too and i'm sure this is the same thing too you wrap up a show it's 10 or 10 30 or sometimes even 11 by the time you get out of there what are you going to eat for dinner yeah nothing's open there's nothing open and we've been in like cities you know like kind of remote-ish places where we're like,

what the fuck are we going to do?

And

McDonald's was yeah.

Yeah, it's there's a lot of that.

Like sometimes we'll do like a post-show pizza, you know, like if there's like a local, if there's like a local pizza chain or like a local kind of spot that that

is good, you know, like, or, or if you're somewhere weird, like regional, like St.

Louis has like St.

Louis pizza.

Right, sure.

You know, we try and, we try and do some of that stuff to kind of, you know,

the more you, you travel, the more you kind of realize how proud people are of that stuff, which I think is really cool.

Yeah, and it's a really good way to kind of just like learn a little bit about

where you are.

Because I definitely, the way it's, it sounds like

that's a really interesting approach that's kind of taking advantage of like the regional variants.

Because I know I've talked to other like Road Warriors who are like, no, I just want to find a Chipotle in every city.

You know, it's just like, like, whatever's, what's that?

Mel Gibson.

Gibson's just a.

Road Warrior.

Okay.

Yeah.

Him and Master Blaster.

The idea that you like, you just get to a city and just something I know is going to be there.

I just eat Subway all the time because Subway is ubiquitous and I know I can get my solid Subway order.

But you're actually saying like, hey, if I'm in a region that has a Waffle House, I'm going to get Waffle.

Yeah, like I, Waffle Host is a great one.

Like,

when we kind of discovered the Waffle Host breakfast, you're like, oh, that's awesome.

Like,

at the time when we were kind of in a van, like, that was definitely more.

of a thing because you are sort of like eating

like on the road.

Sure.

Whereas like with the bus, now with like rider stuff, we'll actually put like whole wheat bread on the rider and like have like veggies and hummus and like, you know, cold cuts and like vegetarian cold cuts.

And like that'll be on the bus.

So after show, we're not always like

killing ourselves, it feels like.

I mean, not that eating cold cuts is like the best thing for you.

It was a step up.

Yeah, right.

But yeah, no, I think like that's for me, if I need something reliable, I almost will do like

just like a cuisine that I trust.

So I'll be like, oh, there's always going to be like an Indian restaurant, or there's always going to be like a Thai restaurant in every city that is like usually pretty good.

And if you like, have that choice fatigue, which I feel like on the road,

the number of choices of like, okay,

I just feel like I made my decision on lunch.

Now I have to think about dinner.

And like, well, usually that's like a joyful thing.

Sometimes, uh, or you could do a four-day fast, you know, yeah,

and no, and no shitting on top of that,

pure energy, yeah, yeah, yeah, there was, Yeah, there was nothing.

Nothing came out of my body, basically.

That's so intense.

I just feel like that would be unnerving for me.

Yeah, it might stress me.

I'm a little stressed for you.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm stressed.

I mean, look, something's coming out after what we ate tonight.

There's no doubt about it.

I totally get that.

The analysis paralysis, I feel that all the time.

And I love for decisions to be made for me.

Well, I feel like in a venue, it's either

the food is either very, very bad.

It's either like trash or weirdly, it's a venue that has like Michelin food.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like, oh, this venue is known to have great food and you'll have like a great, great food.

The Sinclair in Boston is kind of like that.

They have like a great...

I love the Sinclair.

Yeah, yeah.

They have like a great restaurant attached and they're like, here's like $300 worth of food.

And you're like, cool.

Yeah, thanks, guys.

Yeah.

So, but that's a few that happens, I feel, like, more in Europe.

Like for us, like, there's, uh, they have a bunch of government money like in a lot of the venues.

So there will be a restaurant or there'll be like, oh, you get a deal, like, you know, this beautiful like wine bar across the street.

And you're like, okay,

cool.

We shouldn't be here, but thank you.

That's like, we're not fancy enough for this, but right, we need to get the, we need the Doughboys bus.

I mean, I think if we used a bus for one tour, we'd be like $70,000 in debt, but we should still

bus it, if you will.

The Dough Bus.

The issue is that not only does he not like to fly, he doesn't like to drive.

It would also be a repeat of the Dave Matthews band bus for us.

You know, the amazing thing.

The amazing thing about that is, like, it is so expensive to shit in a bus.

Right.

Like, you're really not supposed to shit in a bus.

We've been told this by other people.

And I also have heard from that dumping that it was mostly piss, right?

Piss in, like, in, like, whatever the water.

And also.

You're the guy who gets the one turd.

You're not supposed to be doing that up there.

Yeah.

The piss I can handle.

I've said it before.

Chicagoans were lucky to have the fucking Dave Matthews.

Fucking dirty Chicagoans got that.

You were blessed with Dave Matthews shit.

And all you Zoomers like to joke about it.

But

I have heard that it was Dave Matthews' band took the hit for their opening act is what I heard.

Interesting.

I heard that

it wasn't their bus that did it.

And first of all, it's not even their fault.

Now you're in RFK territory.

It's a conspiracy theory.

Also, the blue stuff in the toilet's worth drinking.

i was i was recently uh uh

my wife's from kentucky and grew up like around horses and stuff but uh we were recently like at a at like a tack shop near toronto um because she's like wanting to get back into to riding and stuff and there was an

like they sell ivermectin and there was a display there was a fucking display

whereabouts is it uh it's in ajax ontario

um but there was like a display that was like, you cannot, this is not for human consumption.

Right.

And I was like, it's 2025.

Yeah, that's crazy.

That's still.

But yeah, the blue stuff, drink the blue stuff, take the average.

Methylene.

No one.

Yeah, yeah.

Inject yourself with bleach.

I think that was a good one.

There was stuff that when I went to my doctor, we were discussing long COVID.

I was like, I just want you to know, I like, I'm not trying to get methylene blue or something.

It is this annoying thing of like, I'm not, I'm not that crazy.

Whatever.

People don't believe that it exists wise.

It's the other issue with

long COVID is that people don't think it exists.

Yeah, I mean, like, where is the science on that?

Is there, because I honestly haven't done it, you would have done way more research than me.

The science is, is that there's like no way to actually prove there's like a cap test that they do and stuff like that.

And like, it's, it's kind of like non-COVID antibody.

Like, I think there's like people who have high COVID antibodies may be a sign of it, but there is like no real test for long COVID, which is the annoying thing.

It reminds me of Gulf War syndrome back in the day, which were a bunch of people who like served in the Gulf War, came back and just had a bunch of like illnesses that no one could wrap their head around.

But they're like, we're just still not.

There's just no actual data on what it was.

And now it's like one in 10 people.

Yeah, sure.

I believe you.

I just like I haven't done any research into it.

It's it's um but yeah, that ambiguity

yourself.

That ambiguity, I like, like I feel like with that's the most frustrating thing when you have something that you want treatment for.

And just like, they're just like, yeah, we don't, we don't fucking know.

I don't know.

I mean, multiple people when I was like, when I was like, I'm pretty sure for a year and a half, I've had long, and I, I thought that even when I first was dealing with it, to be clear, and I never have, was publicly saying it, but then also I told two people and they're like, that doesn't exist that are friends.

Yeah.

And then, like, even when I was first talking to my doctor about it, he's like, hmm, I don't know.

And you're like, dude, a year and a half ago, I got these symptoms and it was completely different.

And then since then, it's been much better in the year and a whatever.

This is a year and a half of going to the doctor.

It's kind of crazy.

You see 28 weeks later, you know, that Alpha had a long COVID NAMI.

If he grew up around horses, he would have fit right in.

You mentioned Louis.

Check this out.

Jemmy's ear on your legs.

I know Jemmy's ear is on your legs.

That's very cute.

Okay, so but you mentioned, you mentioned Kentucky, and there is a Louisville connection.

Your wife grew up around there, and that does bring us, in a way, to Papa John's.

It does, yeah.

The funniest, probably the funniest thing about all of that for me is uh, I am, I am a Kentucky colonel.

Wow.

Wow.

Which is like, my mother-in-law

at one year at Christmas just like handed me a wrapped, like, you know, big kind of like sheet, essentially, and opened it.

And it was like, you are a Kentucky colonel.

And I was like, well, clearly this can't be that hard to get.

No, it's like buying a star.

Yeah.

But,

but, um, yeah, my wife is a Kentucky colonel.

She like served in the state house in Frankfurt

and, you know, has the distinct dishonor of meeting Mitch McConnell and like weird

weird stuff.

But yeah, did he freeze up on her at all?

Yeah.

I have a friend, my friend Tom, who actually has a podcast called the Trillbillies, which I'm sure you guys know about.

He's convinced that the Mitch McConnell freeze-up is just like the angel of death, like over the shoulder of the camera being like, I'm coming for you, man.

It's like, not soon enough.

Jesus.

But yeah, so Kentucky, Kentucky was a place that, you know, we'd played before, and I kind of like, Louisville was cool.

And

after she and I met spending a lot of time there, they're just like, what a bizarre place.

Like, yeah.

And then you're like, Yum Brands is from Louisville.

And like, like Papa John's, like this whole

strange, like, fast food ecosystem is there.

Yeah, fast food royalty.

Yeah, yeah.

It's really.

Yeah, Papa John's are originally from Indiana, but there is like a strong Louisville association.

Across the river.

So wherever that bar that he like started in, I think it's just right across the Ohio River.

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Louisville's cool.

It's like a, have you guys, you guys have never been there?

Never been there.

Yeah.

It's a, it's, it's fun.

Like, I think my wife thought I was like trying to impress her.

I was like, oh, it's the coolest bee market in America.

And she was like, what is a bee market?

I'm like, right.

You don't, you're not sick like me.

Like treat different cities like based on their population and how many tickets you're supposed to sell there.

You don't think normal people don't think like that.

But yeah, no, it's super cool.

When you said bee market, I did immediately think of a market where you can buy bees that's filled with bees, basically.

I don't know what you thought.

No, I'll admit, I was also thinking like a, you know, honey bees were there.

And like, you know,

there's bears with like color bees.

You know the fried chicken, but have you considered the Kentucky apiaries?

We've never done bee markets.

We are a bee show.

Yeah, I think so.

But we've never,

we would like to do some of those places.

I think we both have B Cups.

B Cups?

I don't think so.

That's what we're calling the tour, the B Cups tour.

The B Cup tour.

I wonder what size bra, or is it, are they called bros for boys?

Are there boy bras, or is that just what people say?

Anyone can wear a bra.

Sure, yeah.

All right, well, yeah, sure.

I'm saying if.

But are there ones marketed towards men in the same way they did make like dude soap or whatever?

It's just like a black wallet.

I wondered if there really was a dude bra that that is you know what Mitch, I bet there is some sort of branding that's just sort of like it's probably like 30% cheaper than the women's brain

cheaper and it's got like camouflage on it for whatever reason.

Yeah, that's all there's so much stuff like that that's just like the man's wallet, finally a wallet for men.

What are you talking about?

Promo code Doe for 20% off your man wallet.

Isn't that like that's a weird thing?

Just have fun thinking of going home with a girl and being like, I mean, this is clearly a fantasy.

A fantasy.

Going home with a girl and being like, like, undo my man bra.

Your man zero?

And she does it with one hand, and I'm like, impressive.

Not your first time.

It's not your first time, I see, undoing a man bra.

Wait, so you're like,

so you spent some time in Louisville.

Yep.

We've learned that bee market does not involve actual bees.

Do you like,

is there any local eats?

As someone who like tries to find some

sort of food in every territory, is there any sort of local eat specific to Louisville or Kentucky in general?

Yeah, I mean, I think fried chicken is like, all kidding aside,

there is, I haven't done it yet, but I've really wanted to go one of the like

original Sanders family like buffets because KFC started as like a buffet.

Right.

It's still open, like just outside of Louisville.

We've not done it yet, but

you

there's a place called Lee's

Lee's famous recipe or Lee's original recipe, which is kind of like a local KFC competitor.

Yeah, which is which is really awesome.

And I don't know, you know, like there's the hot brown sandwich, I guess.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I've still not had one.

Yes.

There's a lot of stuff that

I think I kind of missed the boat now with

not eating as much meat.

Right.

Yeah.

But pizza is a food that you can really indulge in, and the absolute sandwich is the add of an issue.

Yeah.

It sounds like a turd.

It does.

Yeah.

It does sound like a turd sandwich.

A turd sandwich.

Yeah.

But I do, I am interested in trying.

Yeah, there's like a tomato on it.

I'm just like hot and gravy.

I don't know.

I kind of want it to be all beef and gravy.

Oh my God, I lost my brain.

We were talking about pizza.

Were you talking about, was that where your mind was headed?

I have no idea.

Brown sandwich, eating turds.

You were talking about eating turds.

Was I talking about eating turds?

Maybe you brought it up.

Beat cups.

There was something I was going to say about beat cups, and now it's lost me.

We'll get back to it.

Hot Brown also makes me think of coffee.

Oh, yeah.

That's that's in a sketch.

I call it sketch.

I used to call it Hot Brown.

Thank you, Emma.

But, anyways, that's maybe what I was going to say.

Sorry.

I froze up.

I did a Mitch McConnell.

I saw the angel of death behind the camera.

The Papa Johns just hit your stomach.

Yeah, that's right.

Do you get there's like all there's like the lore of

the Colonel Sanders grave in Louisville, where apparently like the 11 herbs and spices or whatever it is,

like five and a half of them are buried with Colonel Sanders.

Wow.

So it's a proprietary.

I don't know if it's like an urban legend or something, but how can half of a spice be buried?

No, the recipe, like they've literally torn the original recipe card or something.

Yeah, he's buried in this place in Louisville called Cave Hill.

And

this is, again, all stuff my wife has told me, but like they had to put a moratorium on people bringing like memorial chicken to Colonel Sanders' grave.

They're like, there's too many like varmints,

like raccoons and stuff.

They hire the doughboys to just

police.

Colonel Sanders' grave.

But yeah, and then Muhammad Ali.

There's like two lines.

There's like two lines in Cave Hill Cemetery.

One goes to Colonel Sanders and then one goes to Muhammad Ali.

It's really a

study in contrast.

That's like in Atlanta, there's the Coca-Cola Museum and the Civil Rights Museum, like right across from each other.

And so many dopey Americans are just waddling into the Coca-Cola Museum, including me.

Including me, including me, including me.

Me and Emma, too.

Yeah, we were there.

I went to the Civil Rights Museum.

It's great.

I believe it's a Civil Rights Museum.

I don't see.

This is me not even knowing.

I went.

I believe it.

I just don't know.

i don't know if that's the name of it let's see here i'll find out i was gonna say that i just don't know that like it's it's funny to me

uh like in the south just how readily available fried chicken like you know what i mean like here it's like you want some fried chicken you're going to like one of the fried chicken spots here uh yeah there i mean there are some i'm just like you can find spots like like honey's kettle or dinah's they're like local fried chicken establishments here but there are so many buffets i went to yes it's It's not as omnipresent.

Yeah, that's that.

I think LA has the Korean fried chicken thing, too.

Oh, that damn great point.

It's the Prince, right?

Like,

I've been there before, and that was awesome.

I had a lot of people.

Bon Chon, we've talked about in the podcast.

Yeah.

BBQ Chicken, which are Korean chains that have outposts in LA.

So what is your, talking about pizza generally before we get into Papa John's, like, what, what are, what is your favorite pizza?

And that can be like a chain.

It could be a local Toronto spot.

It can be just like a type of pizza.

But what are you really hoping for?

Yeah, I think for me,

I used to be very much like the works.

Like, give me the whole, like the deluxe sausage, everything,

peppers, mushroom, like as much, like a real, like, floppy kind of

not to,

not to quote that guy.

He shall not be named.

But like,

you know, I think more now, I'm very much into like simple, like a handful of ingredients,

um you know like a nice like veggie veggie pie but uh toronto it's like you have maker you have like which is maddie matheson's place and like uh i had maker one yeah maker's pretty good superpoint which is another uh toronto chain and um north of brooklyn is really good too north of brooklyn's fantastic yeah that's that's the one i was raving about there was north of brooklyn and there was another great

toronto has very good yeah yeah it's it's been a really kind of cool uh thing to see.

Like a lot of places kind of popping up.

There's a guy in the city named Graham who his place is called Graham's Pizza, and he's like making the dough every day by hand, and he just sells everything until it sells out.

And shout out to Graham.

He's great.

Do you have a

Canadian pizza change?

No, you got your Boston pizza, you got your pizza pizza.

Are any of those you like?

I tend to go for dominoes, actually, more.

Yeah.

Pizza pizza was like the pizza of my childhood.

So like every birthday party you would go to, every like school pizza day that was like the United Way fundraiser for like, you know, $2 for like a square slice.

The ultimate like drunk pizza, I think.

But I've just had it.

It's like when I go to the Raptors games,

you know, like I'm, I have partial season tickets with some friends.

Pizza pizza is like one of the few vegetarian options.

So I still do have it.

I think their garlic dipping sauce is the best.

Wow.

Of all the ones that I've had, even of dominoes.

But I don't really care for the pizza anymore.

Yeah, Domino's would be what I go to,

but for the most part, it's like North of Brooklyn, usually, or maybe.

North of Brooklyn was fantastic.

I got with a former guest, Friend of the Pod, and Twisted Metal actor, Johno.

Wow, awesome.

Yeah.

I didn't get, the only one that I didn't get that I am sad about was Pizzeria Baggiali.

Oh, Badiali, yeah.

Badiali, yeah.

I never had Badiali.

I did have, I'm going to go over them.

North of Brooklyn was maybe my favorite.

I thought it was like great.

I had Fourth Man in the Fire pizza.

Oh, yeah.

That's where I had my birthday.

That was a great one.

Fun.

And then I had the one, Maddie Matheson Spot.

I ordered that one time.

And then there was another.

Oh, Fresca.

I had Fresca pizza.

Okay.

I don't know if I've had Fresca pizza.

That's like on the corner.

It's very, it was very good.

It was very good.

There's a lot of legit, great pizza places.

There's another place in Toronto called Blondie's that's really good.

Blondie's.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, yeah, it's good.

We're having a good,

I feel like Toronto got really caught up in the like brioche burger kind of

like trend, and I just was like, It's exhausting.

Yeah, it's too much.

Whereas like with pizza, I think there are, it doesn't feel like

people are

just doing the same thing.

Right.

You know, there are like dragging cul-de-sac into the same

preparation.

Like if you're like, if you want a pepperoni pie, like the

blondie's just like jalapeno and pepperoni, like that is a, that's a great, a great pizza.

Like some of the veggie options at North Brooklyn are great, but yeah, it is a great pizza.

We have a natural pivot point into Papa John's, but since you mentioned

your Raptors fandom, you're wearing the Lithuania basketball shirt.

Wow.

Where are you on, you know, is basketball your favorite sport?

Do you like to watch them dribble up and down the court?

Oh, yeah.

Is that where you stand?

Yeah, yeah, I love, I grew up playing baseball, so I played baseball like pretty competitively until I was 18.

And were you a Blue Jays fan?

Yeah, I still am.

I still am with Blue Jays fan.

But I think just in terms of sheer enjoyment, the NBA is kind of...

Yeah.

It's a soap opera.

It's live sports.

It's everything.

It's fashion.

And we've got Shea.

That's true.

This is a big thing now because there are so many, you know, the NBA is such an international game

as was still happening back in the era of Lithuania at the Olympics.

But like, you know, it's become such a global game.

And then so many elite players are now Canadian, including in the NBA Finals, which just concluded as of this recording, you know, you had Doris Gildas Alexander, you had, you know, Benedict Matherin.

I'm trying to remember who else is Canadian, but there's a handful.

Yeah, Lou Dort.

Lou Dort, yeah.

And Shea, obviously, yeah.

Yeah, it's it's cool.

Like,

obviously, nationalism is ridiculous, but sure.

I feel like the one time it's acceptable is in like

basketball, you know?

Yeah.

But it is cool.

Like, I feel like it's been really fun to kind of have that and and it really is like you hear people talk about it like even um like a corey joseph or like telenic that sort of like old guard of canadian players like the impact of like vince carter and the dunk contest uh and the that like era of the raptors was so

important for kind of

growing the game in in Canada.

And we're kind of seeing it now.

Like this is like the first generation of players who's like, you know, they remember remember the Raptors winning a championship because it was five, six years ago, but like Shay would have just probably been at Kentucky.

Like, sure.

So it's like, it is kind of cool and exciting to feel like

there's a basketball ecosystem in Canada that's like fun to kind of follow.

You go to Raptors games.

Do you have any like optimism for the upcoming season?

They're kind of in a transition point, obviously.

Winning the championship was so seismic and that lingers for a while.

But like, you know, it feels feels like they're kind of in a space of, yeah, they got Scotty Barnes, but what actually is this team's, you know, a plan for the future?

Yeah, I'm interested to see.

I think

getting Brandon Ingram was like an interesting

trade last year.

I think they're hoping they have Alex McKechnie, right, who used to be from the Lakers, who's like the sports science guru, who was the guy

that kind of invented load management as like a concept, right, for Kawhi.

I have a feeling they're going to try and do something similar with Brandon Ingram, which I think could help keep him on the court.

But, you know, that's the NBA.

Like, I think the East is wide open, too.

So, this is the other thing.

It's like, it's true.

The East is wide open.

It's depressingly wide open because

a couple of, like, that the Celtics trade just like last night.

Yeah.

The Drew.

We love you, Drew.

Sad to see him go, but I think honestly, a pretty good trade for the,

I mean, he's a legend in Boston forever, but I think a probably a good trade.

Yeah.

What are you laughing?

No, it's just

so funny to be like this, to just be a low-post episode from like one month ago.

Yeah,

sure, sure.

Tammy Sager was listening to old sports podcasts yesterday.

She was telling us.

Tammy Sager, we love Tammy, but I get, and I understand that it's like a comfort.

There's a butt coming, Tammy.

Hold on, Tammy.

No, we love Tammy.

We love Tammy unconditionally.

But she was talking about a, she was listening.

I was like, oh, I was just listening to an old podcast, and Shams was talking about Marke Morris being traded to the Lakers.

I was like, that's such an interesting listening habit.

She said, I was listening to that, and then you replied, Why?

I looked up with another place that I liked, Max Pizza.

Oh, yeah, Max.

Max is good.

Max was good.

Max is also good.

It was bothering me.

I needed to figure it out.

Max Pizza?

Max Pizza.

I gotta say, wait, is it M-A-X or M-A-M-A-S?

M-A-C-Apostrophe S.

M-A C apostrophe S.

Got it.

I want to say thank you to Drew Holiday.

I'm sad to see him go, but I think that is a decent trade for the Celtics.

So, and I just wonder if it would have even happened had Halberton not blown out his Achilles.

Oh, I wonder, yeah.

Yeah, you know, I think probably

the Celtics would be shedding some salary either way, just because it's like Zingis is probably nice, speaking of long COVID, if he can ever play again.

Hopefully, he can.

But there was like a, you know, the thing, again, this is

again, we're just an old episode of Who Cool.

Welcome to

it's still, it's going to still be the NBA offices, but it is.

But it is like a

the

analysis I read is that by shedding like four

and a half million dollars of salary because of

you know uh the swap for Simons for for Drew Holiday, that's actually saves the Celtics tax bill, like something like 40 million.

So it just like has this crazy compounding effect.

You're the one who brought up the NBA there.

I was just talking generally.

Well, you brought it up.

It's your fault.

We're going to talk about specifics.

Oh,

we want to talk about NBA generally?

Oh, I like the idea of the future.

We can talk about the future.

We can talk about next season.

Oh, cool.

I like the idea of, yeah, that's what we're doing.

Yeah.

Hey, guess what?

It talks about a drug that involves a trade that just happened because the East is wide open.

This is on you.

You wanted to talk.

It's not fully on me.

It is 100% on you.

Okay, speaking of Zach Lowe, it's probably 100% on you.

Or do you want to blame our guests?

Go ahead and blame our guest.

I'll take it.

I wore a shirt.

I get it.

Because it's not my fault.

I don't know.

It is my fault, Meek.

The trade was brought up, but I said, Thank you, Drew.

That's all I did, you fucking idiot.

It's your fault.

Our dorky listeners don't even like the NBA.

Tough,

yeah, yeah.

Well, you know what?

Tough shit, but also tough shit.

Do you guys

have you ever noticed?

That's tough shit.

That tough shit.

All right, we're all agreeing.

Have you ever noticed Zach Lowe sometimes it sounds like he's just eaten like a ham sandwich when he's like when he's like podcast?

He's like, he's like,

like, he feels like he's like warding off indigestion while he's podcasting.

I wonder if we sound that

amazing.

Actually, I wonder what we sound like after

not eating.

I should have done the podcast with a four-day fast with not eating anything.

That would be interesting.

Maybe I'd sound a little more like this.

I said we should do a juice cleanse and we'll all do like a five-day juice.

Juice cleanse will.

And we'll do an episode at the end.

One of the few times as an adult where I shit my pants is during a juice cleanse.

Not completely, but that's fair.

There was some stuff in there.

Were you close to your house?

Because, like,

nice try.

Was that close to my house?

Yes, I was like in my house.

Oh, that's a bummer.

That's nice.

Wait, wait, were you going somewhere with this?

I've shit myself once, like in Munich.

Oh, boy, that's rough.

Just like on the way back to the venue, I was like, oh,

they didn't make it.

And then we went, we were you on the bus?

No, no, I was like in the street.

Okay, I got it.

I like that you were in the venue.

I like that you reacted the way like an old lady would to seeing something uncouth.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I guess it's what you would call

a shart, I guess you would say.

Yeah, shart, yeah.

When I was doing the portmanteau of shit and fart.

Yes, yes.

It is a portmanteau of shit and farm.

Yes, yes.

For the linguists.

Yeah, for all

our linguist listeners.

And now we'll talk about some linguist stuff for a while.

They'll be happy.

The juice cleanse, for whatever reason, the water cleanse, nothing was coming out.

I'm talking nothing.

Yeah.

Nothing.

just air wow any ever every hole air every hole you just is this like just air air yeah i was just there was a

there was not nothing nothing was uh nothing was happening wow were you just like really dehydrated maybe that's it i think i was probably slightly dehydrated but i mean when i went on the walk yesterday which almost killed me at i like went on a walk at 90 like close to i think it was 90 hours of not having eaten and i saw sal i saw my uh my uh ups guy sal how exciting uh i got his number

i got sal's number and i was like and i was like he's an alpha

he's 100 he's an alpha you gonna ask him out he's sal well my thing with sal is i was like i was like can i get your number and i was like i do a podcast and you could tell he was like

he did not he does not want to do the fucking he doesn't want to do the podcast at all well yeah well you got a square job what's he gonna come on the podcast for yeah he does he doesn't have to come on the podcast well i he's a great guy guy to talk to.

So, you know, I thought it would be fun to have him on.

But I saw Sal, I went for a walk, I almost died, and I made it back home.

And

I was crawling around the floor like one of those omegas or whatever they are.

What are the ones that are the first one?

I was just crawling.

I think they're just crawling.

Yeah, maybe they had a different name.

Betas.

Yeah.

It might just be betas.

And then we're saying too much.

I loved 28 Years Later.

It was like one of my favorite movies of the year.

I love it.

You guys got to see it.

You guys see it.

Yeah.

I'm going just for the hogs.

I mean,

you're going to like it.

If you're going just for the hogs, you're going to enjoy it.

They're prusted like affair, apparently.

So, you know, don't get your hopes up.

They're huge.

They're like shot.

They're like super soaker.

They're gigantic.

You thought that was real?

You have an inflated idea of what a hog is.

I think the issue is because you.

Okay.

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Papa John's founded by Papa John Schneider in 1984 in Indiana.

It's the third largest pizza chain in America by locations after Domino's and Pizza Hut, just ahead of Little Caesars.

This is only the third canonical Papa John's episode, Mitch, though we did do Papa Shaq's to discuss Papa John's shakaroni on a pandemic episode.

That was Papa Shax, though.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We didn't, that was does not.

It does not count as a Papa John's episode.

It was a Papa Shacks episode specifically.

Yeah.

So we got a few things here.

First up, the large cheese croissant pizza.

Papa John's is elevating the pizza experience with a global launch of its latest innovation, the all-new croissant pizza.

The croissant pizza indulgently pairs the delicate, flaky texture of a buttery croissant with the bold flavors of Papa John's pizza, bringing the brand's better ingredients, better pizza promise to life through craft, quality, and innovation.

The croissant pizza is available now across the United Arab Emirates from June to 6th.

Okay, so

I wrote the first part of the copy.

I did the second part of the copy.

I said, let's get a croissant pizza.

I did not realize that the croissant pizza is not available in the U.S.

What you said was, all I want is the croissant pizza.

It was basically the reason I wanted to get it.

It could have been solved by typing in papajohns.com in

the browser.

You put Papa John's croissant pizza into a search engine, the croissant pizza

comes up.

It brings you to a splash page where you're like, oh, wow, this is a real thing.

Yeah, well, guess what?

You put McDonald's poutine in, and guess what?

It comes up.

It exists.

Just not in the United States.

Yeah, so unfortunately, the reason for the season, the large, the croissant pizza, which we're going to test.

Love that Bloor McDonald's, by the way.

Oh.

Oh, man.

The

uh, wait, where's the one that they turned the lights off for you?

That was the right by the museum.

Okay.

Which when Wager was talking about the Natural History Museum, I believe.

Right.

When Wiger was talking about the museum, I thought he meant that, but you never went to that museum.

No, I didn't.

But you remember on the choo-choo?

Oh, yeah.

We love the choo-choo.

I did love the choo-choo.

Which we're going to have to get the DOE train if we ever tour.

Because you won't.

Even if it was a really good bus driver, like there's a lot of great drivers.

Nothing.

What are we doing?

We're fine.

We're never going to tour again anyways.

Who gives a shit?

That sounds nice actually it's pretty it's pretty good i mean i did a whole we did a like 20 minutes of being like it's so nice to be back out and you're like we're never touring again i'm like

he's

good

i mean it is nice too he's he's never we might not ever tour again he doesn't like doing it which is fair i get it dude we had some good shows i get it the museum stop on yeah on on the train line wages you saw is like is is like a it's like a almost like a egyptian yeah yeah it has a whole yeah it has a whole thing which is very cool and then every other one is just like fuck you yeah

I mean, I will say, immaculate subscribers.

They don't smell like piss.

That's the weirdest thing.

They don't smell like urine.

Yeah.

I know.

I missed it.

I smell piss every day out here.

And I just like, well, I wasn't smelling piss.

After we were on the subway, I went back to my hotel room.

I pissed.

And I was like,

yeah, there you go.

Like, I missed that.

I missed the

Land of Liberty.

An immaculate subway system

in Toronto.

Very, very nice.

So, so I, you know, whatever.

They're heavily advertising the croissant pizza.

Definitely my fault that I did not verify that it was actually available domestically.

So we're not able to have that.

However, they do love

LDOs.

We're going to move Doughboys Media to the UAE at some point.

Yeah, we're going to Dubai.

We're going to taste testing.

Haven't you?

It's like a tax haven sort of thing, yeah.

It's going to be the new Austin.

We did get the, right now they do have, though, the garlic epic stuffed crust and the cheddar crust.

So we had a Tuscan six cheese pizza on garlic epic stuffed crust and a garden fresh pizza with cheddar crust.

We also got a garden veggie papa, it was spelled bowl in the group text.

So that's what I'm going with.

But this is a bowl version that we had previously on the episode, on a Papa John's episode, Mitch.

It kind of looked like it came out of someone's body.

Yeah, it really did.

It was pretty disgusting looking and tasting.

But let's start there.

Let's start with the first off.

Where are you on

Papa John's in general?

Like, how many times have you had it in your life?

Pretty few, actually.

Surprisingly, I think it's one of those ones that

just I would dismiss

out of hand.

I was just like, I'm not having that.

Yeah.

Like, either, you know, you're looking for, like, like I kind of were saying, like, if there's regional pizza or like a local pizza chain, I think for us, like, that's what we'll try to go for.

So, every once in a while, you're like, oh, we like, you know, got in late somewhere.

Yeah, if it's one of the few that was open.

It would definitely be after Domino's and Little Caesars for me in terms of like the major pizza chains.

I might go Pizza Hut above it as well.

although like Pizza Hut's gotten pretty bad.

Yeah, that's that's the thing.

I probably would pick Papa John's over Pizza Hut at this point, but we were a Pizza Hut family growing up.

And then I was into Papa John's in college because they had a lot of really good coupons out here.

That's where I, that's where I tried Papa John's for the first time in college and I did enjoy it.

Yes.

And the dipping sauce was a novelty, like the garlic butter dipping sauce they had and the pepper and chinis you get in there.

You know, I'm a bit of a heat seeker, so it was like always happy to see those.

But it's so it felt and it felt like it was a higher quality level for a while and then it kind of dropped off.

And I don't know, it's kind of mid for me, but that's kind of the same for you, Mitch.

It was never your favorite pizza place.

No, always a fan of John Schnatter himself.

I was going to say, like, bar pizzas, you guys kind of have that in common politically, you're aligned, right?

Politically, we're aligned.

Yeah, yeah.

No, I mean, I was going to ask you what your thoughts on John Schnatter, but

I sent you a great YouTube video of him with a, remember when he's watching the Bigfoot?

And it's like, oh, yeah, it's like you're just like seeing a person who's just like clearly out of his mind, yeah, basically at this point.

That's like, uh, you know, like you're like, oh, this is like kind of just like a, it seems like he's mentally unwell or something.

Yeah, I, I,

he seems like a very strange person.

Like, uh, there's all this, like, like, lore.

My, my wife went to the University of Louisville where like Papa John's had the naming rights for the like football stadium.

And, like,

I guess as part of that, he also was on the like board of directors of the University of Louisville, or like the board of trustees.

And so, the only pizza she could get like anywhere on campus was Papa John's.

And, and so it was like, you could use like your university, like, meal cart, you know, your like, your freshman meal cart or whatever.

Uh, that's kind of fun for Papa John's, but that was like the only

delivery that you could get like on campus was Papa John's.

So it's like

Cardinal Bucks.

What do you think of that?

What's the currency?

Carly Cardinal.

Cardinal Cardinal Bucks.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

We had bonus bucks at Ithaca.

That's

why they call bonus bucks, just because it was like

the bombers, right?

Yeah, they should have been bomber bucks.

They should have been bomber bucks, yeah.

The bombers is like, Ithaca is like a very hippie town.

I mean, if you go like five minutes outside of the city, it's it's uh it gets a little it's a little trumpy in, I would say, I would guess.

You see a couple Confederate flags hanging around.

Yeah, it's always strange to see stuff like that in upstate New York.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, it's like, I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's country.

My favorite kind of fucking dip shit.

Someone's in the Union state flying a confederate flag.

You fucking idiot.

You know your own history.

There is a kid

at the end of my street who had a Confederate flag.

Yeah, sure.

Why do you, yeah.

You can see him everywhere in America.

Yeah.

You can see him in California.

He was the guy who had the stuff.

Remember, I told her that big jar of like piss and shit and come?

Yeah, it's disgusting.

Yeah.

What?

Go on.

Amelia's like, dude, I got one of these jars.

Stuff.

Amelia, if you start,

if you end up dating this man,

I'm realizing now we, instead of the garden veggie papa bowl, we ordered the stuff.

So that's why that's why it looked like that.

Looked and tasted like that.

I just want to say quickly, I want to call all of you out.

I took a bite of the fucking Papa Veggie bowl, and you and Emma, for whatever reason, were just talking about it's like a bite of barf.

And this is right when I took a bite of it.

In fairness, I had just taken a bite of it.

And that was taking a bite of it.

And then you and Emma just start going on this fucking riff about how it's barf.

I was like, tastes like barf.

And then I was like, it does kind of look like someone.

Well, first, Weiges mentioned that it tasted like barf.

Mitch was like, that's disgusting.

Why would you say that as I'm eating?

And then after that, Emma said, it looks like BARF.

So the BARF discussion continues as Mitch is gagging.

Yeah, trying to choke it down.

You did a very good job.

I mean, I swallowed it.

I mean, I felt like I was about to throw up.

It was disgusting.

It was really, really hard.

It was as disgusting as the stuff.

Also, that kid is a piece of shit, to be clear.

Obviously, that kid is a piece of shit.

And it was like a kid, like one of those people where you're like, why am I in this house when you're younger?

And you know what I mean?

Wait, but this discussion started.

We were talking about

the various currencies that exist at universities.

Emma, what was yours?

Ours was board bucks, which has nothing to do with Emerson.

I have no clue why.

They called them that.

Yeah, B-O-A-R-D board bucks.

I don't have a single clue why.

Okay, I went to UCLA and it was, I think it was a brewing card.

So like that just ties in with maps.

I think that's a good thing.

I think you're a bad guy.

Brewing bucks are great.

Yeah.

Ours were bonus bucks bucks because it was outside of the meal.

Got it.

So it was like, it was like, it was like, these are bonus.

You can use them on what, but we, we did, we didn't, you couldn't use them on outside stuff like that.

You know what I mean?

Like, yeah, our campus had like a, there was like a Canadian chain called PETA Pit.

We had a PETA pit as well.

Was it still there when you were there, Amelia?

What state?

University of Guelph.

It's about an hour west of Toronto.

University of Guelph?

Yeah.

Guelph.

G-U-H.

Is that the Guard?

Yeah, it was like an agricultural science, a big agricultural school, and I just went to, they had a little like arts program with a little music program, and I just

skull shoulder pad 101.

Just thinking of Guar classes.

Oh, yeah.

There was a

Space Hog.

So yeah,

you know, Introduction to Space Hog.

I should have started the thing where I don't know anything about Guar.

I mean, I know enough about Guar

They have a bar They own a bar in Richmond in Virginia where they're from that has the entire bar is just all like memorabilia.

So they're like war masks

in this it's called Guar Bar.

Yeah.

Wow.

Great name.

It's awesome.

See, that's what we're talking about.

That synergy there.

The yeah, that's war bar.

Guar bar.

Bonus bucks, bomber bucks.

Like I was saying, it's a it is a hippie city, and they don't even like that we're called the bombers.

Like that, like, I don't know, I don't know why.

Peace and love, man.

I mean, that's that's that is more of what the town of Ithaca is like, but you didn't.

Peter Pitt was gone when you were there.

I don't remember it.

Peter Pitt was a big thing.

Peter Pitt, Deepy Doe.

And then when I was, when I was there, they got a Jimmy Johns, which

and speaking of pieces of shit, owners, yes, which delivered to campus.

So you're, so, but, but I think you were in the middle of, we were talking about the, yes, the, you, Louisville, he has the, the naming rights to the stadium.

He is a, he's on the, the corporate, the, or I'm sorry, the board of the university.

And so he's just kind of a presence there.

Yeah, like she was saying there are like tons of photos when

the U of L like men's basketball team won.

He was like drunk.

Yes.

Yeah.

In the yum center, which I'm sure made him pretty mad.

But yeah, there were just like photos of him with students when they like won.

And that was like Donovan Mitchell and like

Montres Harrell and stuff.

But

yeah, it's strange.

Like should have known that like something, some sort of racist tirade was coming from some guy who just like was happy to be drunk around a bunch of college students, even though he was

an adult man.

Yeah,

mid-40s at that point, probably, or something.

I mean, I was going to say, mentally unwell might just mean alcoholic.

I can't really tell with him, but definitely not a good guy.

Sure, it does not seem like it.

In the pyramid of shitty people

of these restaurants that we go to.

Oh, yes.

He seems like he's up there.

He seems like a

pretty shitty guy.

Yeah, I mean, I get into my intro a little bit, but it is kind of like there's a real rogue's gallery of people in fast food, and he's definitely, you know, high up there among them.

So that said, the pizza itself, we didn't get the croissant pizza, but we did get the Tuscan six cheese on garlic epic stuffed crust.

I don't like this.

So this one's the six cheeses are Parmesan, Romano, Asiago, Fontina, Provolone, and what they call real cheese made from mozzarella, which is very specific copy.

Shouldn't it just say mozzarella, but we call it real cheese made from mozzarella?

That seems a little suspect.

Anyway, the thing about that sounds like it's not real cheese.

Exactly.

It's yes.

So they're complying with some FDA

regulation.

It's like me saying this is like me saying it's when I was doing my fasting that it's not a

RFK thing.

It's like, it's not an RFK thing.

If you say something like that too much, it just becomes suspicious.

It just seems like it's not real.

My, it's not an RFK thing t-shirt is raising a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.

I would wear it's not an RFK thing t-shirt.

That's pretty funny.

With a cheese pizza, I tend to like, to me, it's like kind of a like a less is more approach.

I tend to like like a simpler, just like, you know, mozzarella or maybe a couple of three cheese, one.

We start getting six cheeses in there.

We're not going to blame this on you, but you, you put in what you wanted, and

we wanted to get a cheese pizza.

It would have been nice to have a cheese pizza.

Actually, we are going to blame you.

Fuck you for that.

Yeah, well, you're welcome.

No, if they had, in fact, had the large cheese or the croissant pizza as advertised.

They didn't, you fool.

I know, but it's.

It's the reason we went back and did it.

Which is crazy because we are in the Emirates right now, right?

It would have been a nice contrast.

Where you had gum UEAE, which is

warmout.

But I did think this was pretty good.

And they have

the garlic epic stuffed crust is garlic flavor stuffed into and drizzled onto the cheesy crust.

I like that stuffed crust.

I thought it was pretty tasty.

The stuffed crust wasn't bad.

I never think stuffed crust is as good as you want it to be.

Yeah, of course, is the issue.

I actually thought that

I wasn't excited about the six cheeses because I always, I'm like, it just, it's ungapachka.

I just like a cheese pizza more.

I'm just going to say this all around.

I didn't want to do this.

I said we should have done intelligentsia.

And then I did say afterwards, I was breaking my fast earlier.

And i know you have a connection with this restaurant so i was like i was like let's i can do it now i'm breaking the fast earlier

do it and you want to do it so much because it's a croissant cross that doesn't fucking exist

and so we changed it from intelligentsia to i was just like i in the email i gave the option i was like i'm good to do either

you did you did say that it's very it's very much not on you none of this is on you um he he he wanted to do the fucking he wanted to do the stupid fucking croissant all right hold on hold on susser also wanted to try the croissant okay so that was another right yeah you mean the first person who showed up for a podcast day he walked in the door before a meal did

we were we were recording another podcast here and susser walked in before a million i feel like i got the full experience like uh susser just showing up for lunch yeah oh yeah really the quite a lot of doboy's lore happened for me

and he's he's in new york right now too so he's uh this i know i didn't expect to see him when I walked in.

I was like, holy shit.

I think the thing.

Also, to be clear, did he come back from New York just for the lunch?

His family?

No.

He came for the Christmas grass pizza.

Because I was looking at the menu yesterday.

Yeah.

And the other cheese pizza sounds so fucking bad.

Yes.

But I was like,

I can't.

Just a regular cheese pizza?

No, it was like an Alfredo-based.

Sure.

I didn't know.

You made the right call among those more artists.

Let me say this.

I gave you a hard time there.

I actually think your order, we added the stuffed garlic crust to the six cheese pizza.

I don't know if you're pissed off about that.

No, no,

no, no, it's great.

But your order knocked it out of the park.

Yeah, that was.

You had a great order.

We'll get into it.

And I'm going to say this wise, just as a little spoiler.

Papa John's was kind of hidden, as you would say.

Papa John's might be back.

We'll get into it.

Papa Johns might be back.

They might be here.

I don't know if they've ever been here for me, except for like college.

They might be here papa johns might be here they might be here i really like by the way this is this is another thing that i mentioned in my intro but i should bring it up to you here mitch because you'll never listen to it the

do you blame me

the the current ceo of papa johns you know papa john schnoder departs six years ago at this point seven years ago he's kicked out is that how you say it schnodder i think might be schnatter actually i think i fucked it up but that's fine i don't mean i don't know if i'm saying it right he's not worthy of you respect that's also true

he's he's purged from the company that there's been some turnover but their recent you know the recent leadership the new CEO as of last year is the former CEO of Wendy's so the Wendy's CEO migrates over to Papa John's and I mean it might have something to do with their resurgence.

That's funny because we also thought Wendy's had dipped but then also

After we it won the tournament

and then Wendy's I don't know it's also funny because you had some Wendy's when you came into the kitchen today.

So there's literally a pile of pizza and a junior bacon breakfast cheeseburger or whatever the fuck's it.

Okay, it's a great question.

Also, to be clear, I didn't just walk into Head Gum with Wendy's.

No, no, no, you did.

You were like, hey, guys,

bacon.

I got bacon, breakfast.

I got breakfast, bacon, eggs.

I won some breakfast, bacon, eggs.

This might be spoiling another thing.

I do think that episode will be out by now.

Okay, all right.

So

I won some breakfast, bacon, eggs,

and a frosty on Gareth Reynolds podcast.

That's right.

And you and I took bites of it, and it was damn good.

It was pretty fucking good.

But Wendy's has gotten cheaper, and Papa John's to me always seemed kind of cheap anyways.

I didn't think it was.

Cheap, you don't mean in terms of value.

You mean in terms of quality?

I mean, look, this is all

in the history of pizza going back here.

I used to love...

I'm sorry.

I have to take this into consideration here.

It's bigger than just...

So we're going back to Rome where we, how far back have we gone here?

We won't go back all the way to Rome.

We'll go go back to four score.

Yeah.

We'll go back to 80s, 90s.

Okay.

I loved a big Domino's large cheese pizza.

I loved a Domino's pizza.

Domino's, though, as time went on, kind of got more cardboard-y wasn't as good.

When I was in college, I think Domino, that was kind of Domino's down point, right?

Domino's wasn't really doing great around the time I was in school.

That's when I was in Ithaca.

There was a Papa John's nearby, and Papa, and there was a Domino's, but like, that's the thing.

I never really got Domino's at all in college.

Papa John's or like a local pizza place is the place, like other places in, you know, them, Sammy's, the rest.

That's the place I would get pizza.

And Papa John's, I was like, oh, this is like a good quality pizza.

But this is a college kid being like, this is better than Domino's.

Domino's has its resurgence.

We were bad.

We're better now.

I become a.

I go back to Domino's again.

I really like Domino's.

Every time I have Papa John's out here, it's trash.

I don't like, and so I don't think of it as a quality, as a quality pizza.

I just don't.

And so, it's that confusing thing of Wendy's has gotten cheaper to me in my eyes, right?

Like,

again, just I want to clarify because sometimes people, when they hear cheaper in terms of fast food, they mean like it's

not prices, not prices, prices, probably more expensive, lower quality, lower quality, yeah.

And they changed their fries.

I think the fries are bad.

I've been saying this forever.

I think that they should go back to the golden fries.

I don't like the potato skins on Wendy's fries.

They should go back to their normal fries.

I think it would be a huge hit now if they went back to yellow cartons with those original fries.

But it's just money thing.

It's the thing we say.

Follow the money.

That's not what we say.

I mean, it is the thing we say.

I mean, it is kind of we're just saying the thing you say is that everything just gets worse.

Yeah, things just degrade over time and cost more money.

And then that becomes a new baseline.

Yeah.

Trying to see, like, what are you willing to tolerate?

It's a rosy outlook.

Yeah.

And that's, I mean, and that's what happened.

That's what's happened with Wendy's.

And I, and I, so I don't really know where to classify Papa John's.

I'm like, as far as the chains go, like, is it a decent quality pizza place?

I don't really know.

I don't think so.

I kind of think of it as like mid-level, right?

Like, I don't know.

I think that's right.

Like,

I will say I think I was surprised

complimentary

with the food today.

Yes.

You know, we don't know if I can do it right away, but yeah, like,

we can get into it.

It was surprising.

It was fucking good.

Like, the last time I had Pizza Hut was so fucking grim.

Yes.

That I just like, it turned me off.

Pizza Hut maybe is the bottom of the.

Pizza Hut might be the worst one now.

The garden fresh.

I mean, definitely I would get Papa John's over Pizza Hut after this experience.

The garden fresh pizza with cheddar crust.

Your choice.

Your choice.

And I'll just read the ingredients.

green peppers, onions, mushrooms, black olives, aroma tomatoes, and again, real cheese made from mozzarella.

And then

the cheddar crust is seasoned cheddar cheese melted on top of our large original crust.

Best crust, best slice overall.

Best slice overall.

I mean, like,

I don't always like an all-veggie pizza.

It can sometimes be what Micas would call a wet pizza, you know, but I think this was pretty well balanced.

And I liked all the varying textures here.

I thought this was quite

with you with the Portnoy flop.

Like, sometimes a floppy slice of pizza is fine.

You just don't want a wet slice of pizza.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, you want to see some flop, check out 28 weeks later.

Years later, sorry.

It's a big boy.

Good wind sock.

So it's a,

I like this.

I like this quite a bit.

So this is kind of what your go-to slice used to be, you were saying.

Yeah, I definitely

would love the

like deluxe or the supreme or whatever.

That was cute.

Really cute.

Yeah.

And so I think like a nice like kind of garden veggie pizza.

Yeah.

It feels like it hits a lot of those same notes

for me without like pork just destroying my stomach.

Well, and especially as

a shotgun handle.

I was just thinking of the 28 years later.

It's like a fucking sh it's like a longer than a shotgun handle.

I was just saying like girth, like I was like, that's like kind of close.

It's like cocking a shotgun is like similar to the emphasis on cock.

I mean, it's a truth.

You and I have both

done

like, you know, done improv in the past and have, you know, as part of that process.

It's an improv hog.

You're taking, well, that's this thing.

You're like taking, you're, you know, you're taking like improv classes.

And I remember taking one, and this, this nerdy guy was up there, and like, for whatever reason, the scene, he was jacking off, but he's going like this.

Yeah.

And then I was just like, wait a minute.

Like, he was like, like, he was.

It was like a motion.

Like, he was like, we all know it's this.

Yeah, like he was loading a black powder rifle.

And I was just like, what, what kind of meat does this guy have?

That's the 28 years later.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like he, that was him.

Well, that's what I wonder.

That's like, is this guy, was he just doing something trying to be funny?

Or is like, no, this is how I actually jack off my huge dick.

Do you think he had a huge dick?

It's possible.

I I never knew that guy was, there was a lot of posturing going on there.

I don't know.

He was overcompensating?

I think he was 100%.

Unless he's an alpha.

I have no idea.

I just want to say,

in our Doughboys Reddit, I know you don't like to ever hear from the Doughboys Reddit.

No, and especially not on the podcast.

Well, not on the podcast.

Yeah.

But there is specifically.

a post on

in the on in the reddit that says 28 years later and it says the boys are going to be talking about 28 years later.

I'm a paw and I'm playing.

They're like, you're going to be talking about this movie for months.

And they are, you're 100% right.

I mean, and you can't blame us.

Yeah.

It's a show.

There's a lot of shows.

Like every movie, look,

one, give us more hogs in a movie.

Yeah, I was going to say, it sounds like you want more hogs in a movie.

I mean, why not?

We're all adults here.

You know what I mean?

Like, I'm not saying throw them in Pixar movies, but like,

you show a hog every so often.

Maybe do.

Maybe kids can see that.

yeah let us see wally's hog i mean with you know with the

that's what you say at home all the time

that's me walking in the door let us see wally's hog

uh you want to see like stitch's hog there we go thank you i thought that i i like that garden fresh pizza quite a bit i thought the tuskan sixtees was was decent we talked about the the the veggie bowl which was just awful just truly terrible yeah bleak very bleak terrible a bite of puke um but God.

But there was spinach in that puke.

There was spinach in the puke.

Real nasty.

It was so, I mean, it is so close to puke.

And I think that, I think this is getting veggies.

I think

you did a veggie or are you fully vegetarian or?

I'm like pretty much fully vegetarian.

I break every once in a while.

I actually broke, the last time I broke was for Wendy's.

Believe it or not.

But this feels like a healthy approach.

And that's where like I, I'm not, I don't feel like I'm as

uh, where you are exactly, but like, I'm trying to get more and more towards just like abstaining from meat, except for situational aid.

I'm just going to say this.

Wags annoyed me here because I was like, hey, I kind of want to order either the steak and cheese pizza or the buffalo chicken pizza.

And Wags is like, well, our guest is eating vegetarian.

So it's probably a good thing to eat vegetarian.

I was like, fucking fine, I'll do it.

And all that being said, the veggie pizza was my favorite, was my bite of the night.

Yeah, but and also, bitch, I don't know, isn't it kind of like, it's also interesting to be like, hey, what is the experience of eating this place if I'm not eating animal protein?

You know what I mean?

No, not that interesting.

It's interesting.

It's interesting.

You tried something you wouldn't otherwise have tried.

I wish I could say that it was like an ethical thing.

Like, I was really had lofty

thoughts about myself, but it's purely like any good entertainment industry worker.

This is born out of sheer laziness.

Yeah, sure.

Like, I'm not like, like, my wife is vegetarian and I'm like, I'm not cooking an extra bit of protein and then doing extra dishes.

No, no, no, no.

I see you

dinners with your partner.

You know, that's really, and, and damned if I don't feel better, which sucks.

That's the worst part of it is that, like, oh, it's

the same.

We were talking about it kind of before we started recording.

Yeah, we were talking before it's recorded.

It pissed me off.

Like, I was just saying this the other day is just like, I had a period because I wasn't eating any meat for a year.

And there was like a month within that where I didn't eat any dairy either.

And I felt incredible.

And I was just mad because I was so, I was just bored all the time by what I was eating.

And it was just, it was just like such a, it was, it was so, it felt stagnant, but I could not, you, there's an added layer of frustration that it just works.

It's like, oh, this is just good for me.

You're going to always eat the same thing your partner eats when you have a partner?

No, you don't have to.

But I mean, like, if you're cooking dinner, it doesn't make sense to cook taste.

Tassel for life, man.

I eat whatever I want when I want.

Alone.

It's not necessarily,

it's not necessarily practical always to prepare two different meals for you and your partner.

Like we're going to eat together.

I don't know.

Let's make a same make the same thing and share it.

And I think it's easier.

I think the other thing about just like touring and traveling and being on the road a lot is like that cooking actually is like a nice way of like feeling like I'm at home.

Oh, sure.

Too, you know?

Like because we eat out, I mean, you eat every meal.

Like even if we're on the bus, you're like, all right, I'm making another sandwich.

And so that to me is kind of fun too, where I'm like, oh, okay, like here's some recipe that i want to try that's like yeah it's vegetarian but like i don't know let's like making lentils is like not hard but it's it's not getting takeout and it's not like going out to a restaurant which is something i love but like after a month on the road you know you're just like all i want to do is like be in my house and cook something for sure i especially with a with a with a band i i mean

First of all, to just be a band like you guys and make music that is enjoyable and people are having a good time and resting on it.

come on, no.

Hold on a second.

That's

that's that.

I mean, already just on its own to go up there and play songs and people are enjoying themselves.

We do a much dumber, worse thing that we are quite, we question whether it's entertaining at all.

But for you guys to do that for like, like, what, like two and a half hours is a show, usually, right?

Yeah, we're, I think we're like, we're kind of in the like 80 minutes usually on a headline show, so it's not as crazy, but uh, it's definitely active.

Like, I have to change all of my clothing.

Huge question here, here, then, as far as

pissing and shitting, of course.

Oh, boy.

Are you not eating before the show?

I mean, obviously, when you're up there,

you're sweating.

So, like, the piss probably isn't as bad.

Yeah, usually not too bad.

But it's had to have come up.

Yeah, it's come up one and two.

Wow.

I need three hours usually

before, like, that's usually my window.

No food, three hours worth of stuff.

Yeah, yeah.

So, like, if we're having dinner, like, if we're on at like nine,

I'm looking at like a, I'm looking at like a senior citizen dinner, like at like 5:30 or 6.

Yeah.

Um, and then like hour before the show, it's like vocal warm-ups and like guitar warm-up stuff, whatever.

Uh, and then what are your vocal warm-ups?

We'll do like uh, there's like a Stefan, the like lead singer of Puppet has like a tailored, uh, he had a vocal coach for a long time.

He still sees him every once in a while, but sure.

It's like a 17 or 18-minute

love that,

you know, like, um, i am a cow moo

uh there's i am a cow moo it's really cool

there was like because there's just like syllables like like uh like naughty

but when when you do it in like like kind of rapid succession it sounds like it kind of ends up sounding like uh like you're saying naughty tina and so we'll always just be like oh go and uh gonna do your naughty tina

tina naughty

naughty tina but uh yeah and then like even i find like if i have a beer too close to like going,

I'll even like be burping.

Sure.

I've like fully burped into the microphone like while I'm singing.

I've stopped drinking during shows because it's just, I get so sleepy.

I used to have like, oh, I'll have a, I'll bring a beer on stage or I'll bring a glass of wine or whatever.

I have a couple of beers.

And then I was just like, man,

I'm already barely coherent as the show is beginning.

And then like midway through the show, I'm just so sloppy and sleepy.

What was that cow bullshit you were saying?

I am a cow.

That's a warm-up?

Yeah, it's it's a vocal warm-up.

Ours is even the one that's like even less interesting.

It's like,

oh, yeah, it looks good.

And you're just like, you go up like semi-tones and down semi-tones.

Yeah, I have problem continually buzzing out.

It's a big.

Yeah, just I run out of gas.

That's a buzzing is pretty good.

It warms up and then

it's really

a microphone.

Yeah,

it's fucking annoying.

Yeah, it is.

Like, it's really, it doesn't, but but there's no, like, you got to do it.

I think this will be out by the time this comes in.

Ooh, that's real.

I am a ghost boo.

That's good as hell.

Should we get some dopeoys warm-ups made for us before shows?

I am a turt boo.

I thought that what you said you didn't have dairy for the year.

I thought that was a song you sang when you were going crazy.

The one you said, you said the word annoying.

It made me think of another one.

I know, any noise annoys an oyster, oyster, but a noisy noise annoys an oyster most.

Oh, boy.

You've said that one to me.

Yeah, it's a tough one.

All my like guitar warm-ups are like all chromatic.

Oh, yeah.

So like, it's just the most annoying thing you can do.

Just like playing chromatic, like every note.

What if I play every note on the piano in succession?

And people are like, what about music?

And you're like, no, it's not what I'm doing here.

I'm just practicing half steps.

Yeah, you're just kind of doing all that sort of mindless.

I do think like 8 to 11 p.m.

is not like a prime going to brown town time.

You know what I mean?

Like I feel like that's like a I'm usually done shitting for the day.

That's what I'm saying.

I think the trouble is that with the bus, like we were kind of talking about like eating late, everything gets shifted.

Your day kind of shifts eight hours.

You got like an NBA player schedule.

More or less.

Like I sleep usually on the road from like 3 a.m.

to 11 a.m.

Yeah.

Like so I'll I'll get eight hours, which is awesome because the bunker.

Yeah, that's my road schedule too, not my

well, the irony is like when we were in hotels, like I would sleep less because we were driving during the day.

Um, so you have to get up earlier, the show ends, you sleep maybe between five and seven hours a night.

Um, are you sleeping while the tour bus is yeah, so the bus drives overnight, so we'll like, I'll just like wow, yeah, yeah, but so what I've started doing instead of like bringing beer, and this will all tie in, it's why I'm probably sleeping so well, uh, I'll do like a, just a straight um bourbon like on on ice, sure, and so I'll do like a huge, like a, like a solo cup of ice basically and like you know however many fingers of bourbon like two fingers of bourbon you know like the classic

that's like an old joke that my great uncle used to do yeah two fingers that's fun you're kind of like doing like a horizontal metal symbol yeah exactly double orange I'm drunk as hell that's what that sounds good

and it it kind of just like

it's not carbonated so I feel like it doesn't affect me as much like from burping or feeling bloated on stage um and sleeping on a tour bus overnight as it's driving around that's a cool not a a lot of people do that.

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

So like, and, you know, you just my CPAP would be sloshing around.

Yeah.

I know people who've brought like CPAPs, like little, like, like mobile CPAPs, and like tour buses, they all, all the bunks have outlets, so you can usually.

Oh, damn, all right.

Yeah, it's like, it's surprisingly, like, it's pretty good.

But yeah, like.

Season one,

one of the transport drivers was Bruno Mars's tour bus driver.

You know what he said about Bruno Mars?

What's that?

The nicest guy in the world.

I met him once.

He was lovely.

That's what he said.

I Bruno Mars is a very nice man.

We had, when I worked at Funnier Die.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, it is.

When I worked at Funnier Die, we went to his recording studio to pitch him ideas.

And he was like super nice.

And he ended up doing a video that I think our buddy Ryan Prez directed.

Oh, I know.

But he...

But

there weren't enough chairs.

And so I just like sat on an end table.

And it was so hot in there.

And I could just feel my ass sweating onto this table.

And so I was just like, okay, when I'm done with this meeting with Bruno Mars, take your notepad, which you have all your ideas written on, tear a sheet out of it, and then immediately turn around and wipe off the wipe your ass sweat off of this end table so no one notices.

So it's the only thing I was thinking of the whole time.

That's funny.

That's like the Bruno Mars estate is having an auction.

It's just the end table.

We don't know where this stain came from.

Okay, so, but we did get some meat, Mitch, by virtue of the chicken parmesan papa bites.

We also got the jalapeno.

That's the one thing I ordered.

You were saying, let's go all vegetarian.

I said, I want to just try this one thing.

Which, hey, this is my Wendy's.

This is my break from the meal.

I had a couple of these and why, so did you.

I did.

And I thought that these were going to be buffalo chicken bites, but they were chicken parm.

And then the jalapeno papa bites, which had jalapenos and Alfredo.

Spicy suckers.

Also, probably not great for me to eat coming out of the fast.

Yeah.

I took one for the team.

I took one for the team.

I'm something of a heat seeker.

I loved those.

That was my favorite thing that I had at this pop.

Wow.

The jalapeno popper bites were great.

The chicken parmesan bites, I was less into.

Oh, I loved them.

So did Sus.

Yeah.

To me, I,

first of all, you thought they were buffalo.

I was like, those are good.

And you're like, hmm, I don't know.

And I've the first thing that thinking was going for buffalo and it was not succeeding at it.

And then when I took, but I had another bite knowing there was a chicken parm and it still wasn't quite.

You never recovered.

You never recovered from that, I feel like.

Could be, yeah.

It could have just been in my head.

The jalapeno, I was surprised.

It was another one one of those things where i was like this could be weird like i wasn't sure if it was trying to be a jalapeno popper like with that kind of

and and i was surprised like even with the ranch too like the ranch dipping sauce i thought was a nice uh kind of a complete right but yeah the ranch cooled it down a little bit it was there yeah it was good combo it's it's you know it's it's effectively a garlic knot and a lot of times i'm at a pizza place a garlic knot for me is like their salad it's just like this is gonna be fucking whatever this is an extra thing they have so my expectations are generally pretty low, but I thought these were quite good.

Papa bites were pretty decent.

I would 100% get these again.

The chicken parmesan came with just marinara sauce.

I thought they were, I liked them more than the jalapeno bites.

I thought they were great.

I would also get the cheddar cheese sticks again.

Yeah, those were face.

These were real good.

Yeah.

But these are, those are a limited time offer, too.

Yes.

Really?

Okay.

Yeah, that's interesting.

That feels like cheddar cheese sticks specifically, but

they were tasty.

And again, another thing that a pizza place, I'm like, you don't need to have sticks.

I'll just get a slice.

But like, oh, these are pretty damn good.

Yeah, if it does feel like a lot of these things I'm, I almost almost like take for granted because I'm so used to the dominoes menu.

And it feels like a lot of those things, like maybe the bites, not as much, but like, like the fingers or like the little sticks, like you get at Domino's, like pretty regularly, at least in Canada.

There's like you, so I'm like, yeah, oh, it's a limited time thing, I guess, but that to me feels like a pretty standard kind of like like chain pizza.

You'd expect to be a staple, and maybe they're testing it out and are going to make it a permanent addition to the menu.

I do the stuffed cheesy bread at McDonald's.

I'm sorry, at Domino's.

And that's really good, but they are like, it just is so much.

And these guys are like, these seem much lighter.

I mean, they're not good for you, but I'm just saying they're breadsticks with cheese on top.

It's easier to eat.

Which used to be what Puppaginos did at Emma, as you remember.

It's like less bread than Domino's is so much better.

It's a lot of bread.

It's very good.

This is more cheese-focused.

Yeah, it's like eating one of them is like akin to a slice almost or something.

Yeah.

Let's talk sauces real quick.

So we got the garlic, garlic, the spicy garlic, the ranch, and the marinara.

Was there one I'm missing?

I think it was just those four, right?

No, we think because it says new garlic sauce, or it didn't say like new garlic sauce, but it is just a garlic sauce.

When I opened it, mine was thicker, and then I took one from one of the pizza boxes, and that was like melted, like the way you think of Puppet John sauces.

I like it a little bit more melted.

I like it a little bit more like a lobster butter, you know.

And but you know, sometimes you'll get a little bit thicker, which is more like the little Caesars garlic sauce consistency.

The spicy garlic, I had high expectations for, and I thought it just tasted bizarre.

Oh, it tastes like chemicals.

Yeah.

Chemicals.

Very science-y, and it weirdly, like, not really spicy, but also not really garlicky.

I was like, I wouldn't even know what it was trying to accomplish.

It was a real, real bummer of a sauce.

And also, like, the butter came through in a way that, like, wasn't appealing, which is strange because butter usually

is appealing.

The best, the best food.

But yeah, it felt like it was confused.

It felt like it didn't really know what it kind of was trying to do.

And also, we didn't get one of those that was like melted.

Maybe we should have put it in with a pizza or something like that to have it melt down, but I don't think there's any way to save that sauce.

I agree.

Do you know?

I'm thinking about it.

I'm like, is that the first time I had like garlic butter like that?

Is Papa John's in college?

It might be.

I'm like.

It's the first place I remember that being a, yeah, I think they certainly popularized it if they didn't invent it because it's the first time I remember in California.

Yeah, I don't know if they don't know if they invented it.

Yeah, they probably didn't invent shit, but I mean, like, but you know, it just made it a thing where now you can get that at Domino's.

You can get a little Caesars, as I mentioned, you know.

Yeah, pizza pizza was the first for me.

Like in Canada, that was like the first they've, they have like a creamy garlic, they call it kind of similar sort of thing.

The the ranch I thought it was fine and the mariner I thought were fine.

They both got the job done.

Pizza Pizza, I was okay with.

Yeah, it's I had everyone hates it, but I had it out there.

I was like, oh, it's fine.

It's fine.

It's completely fine.

It still breaks my brain that Little Caesars in the States has a mascot whose catchphrase is pizza pizza that is unrelated to a Canadian chain called Pizza Pizza.

It's just mutual invention of saying pizza twice.

But their brand colors and everything are like basically the same.

They're basically the same.

It looks like

orange and white.

But they're not the same company.

No.

It's like a totally independent,

like national chain in Canada.

So weird.

Yeah.

I used to buy weed outside of the guy's mansion.

Hell yeah.

Like some dealer was around there, you know, as a bad boy.

Vwigger gave you a hell yeah for buying weed.

There's just mushrooms.

Oh, that was the thing that surprised me

in Toronto.

It's just like, buy mushrooms here.

You're like, wow, they really just have a store?

Yeah, they're like

mushroom stores.

I was floored by it.

So you were there.

I'm surprised you didn't see it there.

I like, yeah, I know that they, the whole walking up and down blur, you could see.

I'm sorry.

I mean, they were everywhere.

Oh, yeah.

So

Spadina, there's a lot of them on Spadina.

Basically, the same court challenge that was initiated by a bunch of like

weed, like legalization advocates has been initiated for mushrooms.

Okay.

So basically, they're doing the same playbook before Canada legalized weed, which was the like Hail Mary that Justin Trudeau threw like years ago.

Basically

allowed for these sort of like gray area

like weed shops to open.

And the cops would show up and like shut one down.

And then like three blocks down the street, it would like pop up again.

And that just kind of happened until legalization came through.

So they're doing the same thing now with magic mushrooms.

Wow.

So you can, you can buy shrooms and it's kind of a like, ha ha, maybe we'll see you again.

And then the store closes because the cops like raid it.

Yeah.

And then another one opened.

But yeah, they're going to try.

Yeah, because it's not technically legal, but they are just.

That's right.

It is so weird that they're openly advertising it and it's a store.

And because the court hasn't ruled on it yet, one way or another, they're just sort of like, oh, legal gray area.

Like real limbo.

Yeah, yeah.

That's fun.

Yeah.

Wow.

I hope they hope they're what do you say?

What do you say to people buying shrooms up there in stores, Wags?

You got something to say about that?

What do I say to people buying shrooms up there in the stores?

Do I get something to say about that?

Yeah.

I sure do, Mitch.

Thanks for tossing me this alley oop.

Hell yeah.

Like you said, hell yeah for him buying weed.

Hell yeah.

Well, that's because I was doing like that's because I was doing hood rat shit like outside of Mr.

Pizza Pizza's house, though, you know?

Do you forget that I just had you just said hell yeah to him buying weed?

No, I didn't forget where to go.

Yeah, he had it on deck.

Oh, we got the, for dessert, we got the Oreo Papa bites, which are.

Which look like shit.

They really look bad.

And I was worried they were going to be like the garden veggie papa bow but they were like

they were because they they just look like garlic knots they just look like pizza dough like nuggets of pizza dough with oreo cookie inside and then just some cummy icy that you icing that you did cummy icy i like i like cummy icy and and that was just on the side for dinner cummy icy

when you go to a movie theater i always try to get a cumme icy

um but i thought it was just like it looked really gross and then i was eating i was like this ain't bad It's just a little crusty.

It's a little too much savory crust.

You know what?

I know what I hate is I bring a date to the movie here.

I'm like, you want to do the popcorn thing?

And she's like, no, I'll just get a cummy icy.

I'm like, oh, come on.

And then I'm just drinking her cummy icy the entire fucking movie.

You're watching 28 years later start doing the popcorn thing solo.

Let me tell you, the popcorn trick wouldn't work on an alpha.

Sticking out the top of a popcorn box.

Uh,

we can't get over the size of these hogs, they're huge hogs.

Uh,

huge hogs, yeah,

you got

I have to see it.

I'm, I heard you guys not to say for those huge hogs, no, uh, hell yeah.

There's also pussy eaten in the movie, that's fun.

There is some pussy eaten.

I actually, not a lie, I did walk out of the theater at that moment, and uh,

and it was not intent to be like, too much.

Yeah, yeah, walk straight into a screening of sinners.

I walked, I came back, and I said to Rogers, I'm like, did you miss anything?

He was like, here's some pussy.

You didn't go at all.

You started screaming, put the hogs back on the screen.

What were you going to say?

Sorry, I cut you off.

Oh, suss was saying about the Oreobites.

Yeah.

With a little bit of the cummie icy.

Yeah.

I think it.

It helped with the doughiness.

For sure.

100%.

Because they were a little too doughy.

Look, I'll say this.

The Oreo papa bites looked like bird shit on them, and then there was a side of cummy icy.

It doesn't, they did not look

appetizing, and I think they were better than I thought.

Yes, they looked gross, and they tasted okay.

And we got

a two-liter Mountain Dew.

That was fun, hillbilly excellence.

Hell yeah, I love the two-liter Mountain Dew.

It just felt like childhood having a big two.

Maybe two liters are.

I mean, they're not,

I guess, having cans is more environmentally sound, but

yeah, I never loved a two-liter.

Two liters always go flat before you get to the end of it.

I know, but if you're drinking a two-liter with a group of people just on the day.

We were missing the moonshine, right?

That's the sort of original Mountain Dew

mixer.

That's probably why we didn't drink at all.

We got to do a drink or snake of moonshine at some point on this.

I'll try also moonshine.

We could both go blind.

Yeah.

Would you get to our final thoughts?

Susser just texted some of his thoughts to the group chat.

No, he sent it to me.

Okay.

He also told me IRL, but I guess he maybe doesn't trust me to remember it.

Anyway,

we should get to our final thoughts, Steve, on Papa John.

So you know the show, you've heard how this works, but we'll each go around, give a closing argument, if you will, and give it a score from zero to five forks.

You are a guest seated to my left.

Your thoughts, your fork score on Papa John's.

I was pleasantly surprised, I think, overall.

You know, Barf Bowell,

notwithstanding, I suppose.

Like,

I appreciate you guys, you know, doing the vegetarian thing.

This is going to

hopefully make the rest of my little press junket slightly less full of the rumblies.

But

yeah, I don't know.

The dipping sauces were mostly a letdown,

which to me,

it feels crazy how

kind of central dipping sauce has become to my eating pizza now.

Yeah.

Like,

considering like for probably half of my life, if not more than that, like, that just wasn't a thing.

Um, but now I'm kind of like, oh, that's a bummer.

Like, I was, I was really interested because I don't think I'd ever tried the dipping sauces.

Um, but yeah, the two crust kind of variants were cool.

Yeah.

Um, I don't know.

I'm, I'm, I'm like kind of in the like three,

maybe even 3.5.

Wow, okay.

3.5 feels high.

3.5 feels high.

3.5 is fair.

I think.

Totally fair.

Like, yeah, I'm sort of.

You You know what?

I'll go 3.25.

3.25.

I love it.

Three forks.

Three forks.

Mitch, what do you think?

Hmm.

Well, let me start with Sus's thoughts.

Is that okay?

Yeah, sure.

And I want to hear what he said to you also, because maybe it's the same thing he said to me.

I said, fork scoring thoughts.

This is Sus.

2.5.

It's tough for me.

It's tough for me, though, because I've been eating so much New York pizza.

And, you know, New York pizza, forget about it puba john's i feel sick so he texted me this at 2 37 2 38 p.m yeah then at 2 41 p.m in the doughboys chat he texts if you guys are in the record make sure to add i said it's tough for me though because i've been eating so much new york pizza and then under it and new york pizza forget about it

Forget about it.

Yeah, so it was just me in the studio

I was having issues with my laptop and my iPad.

I was trying to resolve that before the record.

Susser comes in here and he's like, I got to go.

Gave me his fork score, which I'll sit on.

And he said, but that's only that low because I've eaten so much New York pizza.

Forget about it.

Did he say forget about it?

I heard him while he was walking.

He did the same bit three times,

twice within two minutes.

He did it in the kitchen.

Oh, he did say it in the kitchen.

And it's crazy because he was walking out and I heard a, I'm slicing here.

You know, like it was.

Oh, well, you know, sus, I actually disagree with you.

Wow.

I think this is a pretty damn good outing from Papa John's.

One of the better outings they've had.

That veggie slice and the crust.

The cheddar crust, I think, is really good.

I think it's fantastic.

A nice, crispy.

There's a good taste to it.

It doesn't taste science-y.

It tastes like real cheddar cheese.

I thought it was going to need dipping sauce and it didn't.

It kind of doesn't.

No, I dipped it a little bit in the garlic and it was still good, but like, uh,

damn, why?

Because I got to go

all around.

I had a really pleasant Papa John's trip.

I got, I got to go 3.5 forks.

Mitch, Papa John's might be here.

It's fair.

We've been dealing.

Amelia was nervously looking around.

Where?

John Schnutter walks in the studio.

You guys want to hear a joke?

No.

I have some thoughts on Colonel Sanders.

I disagree with Susser, who gives it two and a half forks.

And again, because he's eating so much New York pizza.

Forget about it.

Forget about it.

I think that

from my experience, having had some New York pizza in my life, but also,

you know, most of my pizza consumption has been from chains.

And comparing these chains, and again, going back to what we talked about in the thesis of the podcast, Mitch, how is this chain succeeding at what it's trying to do to sort of be a mainstream presentation

of American pizza?

As Philosopher Kings.

As Philosopher Kings.

This was important to us when we first started our thesis of what this chain is trying to do.

Yes.

We want to be like the Sun Tzu and the Marcus Aurelius of our age.

And so we are from operating from this perspective.

Sun Tzu and Marcus Aurelius.

I think Papa John's, to me, is clearly a choice I'd put above Pizza Hut at this point.

And I wouldn't put it above Domino's, and I also wouldn't put it above Little Caesars, partly from a value standpoint.

But I do think it's coming up, and I do think it's maybe arrived.

The last time I checked it up, Mitch, that we did a canonical review score was during the pandemic, but we all landed on three forks.

And I certainly...

Do not have enough confidence in this chain to go all the way up to four forks, but I certainly can be ballpark buds with two of y'all.

And I think I'm going going to land at three forks two times.

I think three and a half forks is about where Papa John's is right now.

And hey, they could be in the Golden Play Club at some point.

I'm not saying it's going to happen, it may never happen, but it feels like a possibility.

It feels like this is

a franchise that's kind of getting its house in order.

And if they get into the Golden Play Club, Papa John is forgiven for all his sins.

Billy, didn't you have a Papa John story?

Oh,

not really.

I took a UCB class with Papa John's niece.

Oh, that's what it was.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's it.

She was nice.

Did she always initiate with like pizza-based things?

Forget about it.

Hey.

He also did spell out.

He spelled out forget about it in that,

you know, in that way.

Yeah, I know, yeah, we know.

That Italian way.

Hey, it's time for a segment.

I've got a food-related survey, and Mitch and Steve will come to me to guess the results.

Let's play the family food.

We hear the family feud theme from the Super Nintendo version of the game.

Not too bad.

It's pretty good.

I almost thought this.

I thought this was almost an S, though.

I thought.

No, the NES version is unrecognizable.

I like that one up.

You need at least 16-bit fidelity to be able to accurately represent that theme.

Pretty good.

Not too bad.

Pretty good.

I thought it would maybe be a little bit better on it.

It sounds like a Casio.

Yeah.

A little Casio.

It is very Casio.

Yeah, a little like Nintendo flare.

I mean, also, we're just talking about

there's some, again,

a younger person saying, but there are some bangers from Super Nintendo or that, you know, I always listen to the aquatic theme from Donkey Kong.

Oh, yeah, David White is the composer.

Yeah, that's a that one's an all-timer.

Um, all right.

Are you into any sort of music like that?

Like a, like a old game, video game music, or yeah, yeah, yeah, I do.

I, um,

I really love um, I got, there's this like a

like avant-garde composer composer named john zorn oh yeah john zorn loves um he loved carl stalling's music okay so i spent a lot of time like like who did all the looney tunes and sort of like that sort of stuff um and video game music i mean i i feel like kind of the classic nintendo i'm blanking on the composer's name uh who did like all the mario stuff koji kondo yeah yeah yeah yeah um just like it's beautiful like the such interesting kind of right john zorn john zorn yeah that's the son of zorn

he's not related to the animated character zor Okay, I don't know.

Like the short-lived Fox series.

Yeah, that no one knows.

I don't remember.

Buddy Dan Lippert was.

He was.

He was Zorn.

He was Zorn.

Lippert was Zorn.

No, he was the physical embodiment of Zorn.

He was the on-camera Zorn or on-set Zorn.

Anyway.

But no, that's not what the reference is.

No, I know of John Zorn via our, you know, my high school friend Brandon Wurtz, who listens to the podcast, and he is

like, he was very much into them.

It's like a really

weird like yeah like avant-garde is the right word to use but like kind of like noisy like anarchic version of jazz yeah and like pastiche kind of like he'll do this like uh that was sort of i guess to kind of bring it around like that video game music and all that kind of stuff learning about carl stalling and like how he composed for like looney tunes because it's so jump cutty and

kind of like um uh just like uh kind of an it was not something that was ever on my radar like growing up like it i i we would play i played cello uh when i was in high school and like we would play like howard shorbs music from like the lord of the rings or like hans you know because that would be a way for like the music teachers to like keep us interested instead of just like playing mozart or whatever um but the video game music was when i like kind of started teaching guitar um before we were touring a lot and like all the kind of younger kids would want to learn like Zelda music.

So I like taught a lot of that.

And it was like not on my radar really.

And then you kind of like listen to to it and you're like, this is amazing.

And obviously it is.

They're like legitimate composers who are like gifted musicians.

But yeah, it's like a, it's cool.

It's cool to kind of see that being appreciated as sort of a pretty serious form of composition.

Yeah, I'm always impressed by like, especially in the, and a lot of people are making, doing this as aesthetic choice now, but like in the in the era of like 8-bit and 16-bit composition, you had a limited

number of audio channels you could work with.

Like

for a lot lot of 8-bit hardware, it was impossible to play a chord.

You couldn't play that many notes at once.

So it was like, and also have sound effects, which is, you know, again, you were just so limited by like four channels or less that a lot of stuff was just like arpeggiated, or, or they would use like the fact that you could, you didn't have to have a human musician play it.

And so there'd just be like this, this rapidity, the speed to it that was like almost impossible for, you know, like even a virtuosic musician to play.

How great isn't a Zelda game when the Zelda, because now in like the bigger games,

when you finally get the theme it's later on you know what I mean yeah they hold off on it when it when he finally kicks in when you're like riding around somewhere and you hear

you know what I mean like so you were cheesing like a boom

yeah all the all the kind of like yeah

that's fucking cool as hell yeah it is like playing left-handed like Jimi Hendrix very cool oh shit there you go and Mitch Mitchell was in the Jimi Hendrix band wasn't he the Jimi Hendrix experience yeah he was the bummer

bought the bummer the bassist

he was not the bummer he's a bassist uh there's a cool mitch for thank god uh mitch mitchell uh oh don't sell your sell yourself so short oh

i want to put myself down with mcconnell but uh i'd say that the demon

oh the angel of death he looks like a headgum hunk

oh it's just a headgum hunk outside the not too many headgum hunks in here today Yeah, not too many people in general.

That's interesting.

All right.

The theme of this edition of Family Food is top fast food chicken chains ranked by sales.

Wow.

According to 2024.

So this is a pretty contemporary list compiled by QSR magazine and also compiled by Amelia Marino.

The top nine answers are on the board.

Amelia, can you take

this worldwide?

Thank you.

No, this is just in America.

Okay, okay, okay.

Knowing Amelia 2, these are all going to be,

there won't be anything weird in this quiz.

There's nothing weird.

No, this is a straight ahead list.

All right, so we're looking for super normal.

I'm a little worried about Amelia.

We're looking for the top fast food chicken chains by sales.

And you can just buzz in.

Actually, I guess we'll just alternate.

So, Steve, do you want to go first or second?

You can go first.

Okay.

I mean, it's up to you.

You can go first.

I'll go first.

Sure.

I got to go with the colonel.

Yeah.

Show me KFC.

KFC is number three

in terms of sales.

Okay.

Again, the metric is sales.

Sales.

Yeah.

This has got to be per store sales, right?

Or is this total sales?

This is what I was talking about here.

That I feel like this could be sometimes factually inaccurate.

All right, Steve has a point.

This is

sales by the millions, and then they have a chart.

Got it.

With how many millions of dollars

each chain made.

Got it.

So which of these chicken chains is making pay?

Yeah, yes.

I think this is total sales.

This is total sales.

There's no way that's per store.

This is total sales.

I'm going to go my answer.

My first answer.

We'll see what I don't know where it will land.

Jolly Bee.

Show me Jollibee.

That can't be right.

Jolly Bee's not on the list.

Jolly B's not on there.

That's also the price is right, Fail Horn.

I feel like if it was worldwide, if it was worldwide, it would be.

Oh, wait, it's in the U.S.

In the U.S., yeah.

Oh, I forgot that.

No, it's not Jen.

No, Mitch gets a strike.

Steve, it's back to you.

You have one point.

Mitch has zero.

I can't believe I'm fucked.

You're not fucked.

You can steal anyone's game.

I'm going to take, I'll take Popeyes.

Yeah, that's.

I mean, now I'm fucked.

Show me Popeyes.

Good answer.

Popeyes, number two.

Number two.

All right, I got the right sound of it.

Two of the top three are off the board.

All right, Mitch, back to you.

You have one strike, no points.

Steve has two points, no strikes.

Okay.

Above KFC,

and this is in

okay.

Only two and three are off the board.

One and four through nine are all available.

We have nine.

Bojangles.

Show me Bojangles.

Bojangles is number seven.

Bojangles coming to the U.S.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Wait, I'm coming to the U.S.

Can we get to the United States?

I'm going to take a look at the US.

It's fine.

You're doing okay.

No, I'm doing bad.

You're crashing it.

I'm doing really bad.

No, you are doing kind of bad, but you're doing all right i mean we're always doing bad yeah every stop being

bad

you think you're doing good

doing good maybe

overall episode what do you mean by you think he's doing good overall end right now

that's not she's trying to keep her job and it's a person

not with me it's not

uh all right bo jangles off the board Steve, your next answer.

You got two points on the side.

It's got to be Chick-fil-A.

Show me Chick-fil-A.

Oh my God, that's number one.

I I can't believe I didn't think it's

Chick-fil-A.

Number one, Steve, as one, two, and three.

However, you don't get bonus points for position.

It's just number of total answers correct.

So we're going to be able to get a lot of things that will save me, but I already have a strike.

Yeah.

Raising canes.

Show me raising canes.

Rocketed up the list to number four.

Wow.

One of the fastest-growing chains out there.

All right.

You both are doing great.

Steve, back to you.

Oh, boy.

Five through seven and number nine are available.

Churches?

Show me churches.

That's on the list.

Thank the Lord.

Church's chicken is number nine.

All right, five through seven, Mitch.

I'm sorry, five, six, and eight, rather.

Five, six, and eight.

All of these chains.

Jolly Bee still wasn't in there in the U.S., huh?

All these chains, what?

No, I just said these are all things we've reviewed.

There's got to be not a second

location.

Oh, okay.

One of these we haven't done.

Yeah, there must not be enough Jolly B.

Location.

You're 100% right.

So, this will be this will be, I guess, a hint more for Mitch, but two of these we've reviewed, one of these we've not reviewed of the remaining three.

Why am I blanking on this?

I'm doing bad today.

I'm doing bad.

Amelia's silent over there.

Wow.

Wow.

All right.

All right.

All right.

Chicken

chains.

I'm going to go with,

oh,

Buffalo Wild Wings.

Oh, yeah.

Show me Buffalo Wild Wings.

That's not up there.

Not in the top nine in terms of sales.

What?

Wow.

Yeah.

Good guess.

It is a good guess.

Oh, shit.

All right, Mitch has two strikes.

One Maury's out, and Steve wins by default.

But Steve, you're still in the the lead.

What's the score right now?

Um, Steve has four, Mitch has two, and two strikes.

Got it.

So they're chicken chains, chicken chains.

It's not like fast food, chicken chains.

That might be why Buffalo Wild Wings is not on the list.

It might not qualify as fast food because it is a sit-down restaurant.

So it could be okay.

Could be.

I don't know.

I'm just thinking.

Sounds like another fucking bullshit Amelia.

Oh, man.

Yeah, I think all of these chains have drive-throughs.

Interesting.

I'm like, oh, boy.

Wingstop?

Oh, that was going to be my other guess.

Show me Wingstop.

Wow.

Buffalo, hold on a second.

Wingstop, what I went with Buffalo Wild Wings over Wingstop.

And Wingstop's on there, but Buffalo Wild Wings is not.

Well, Buffalo Wild, first off, Wingstop just may have higher total sales.

That just makes it a possibility.

But also, like, in terms of take it up with QSR magazine, because if they've excluded it from the list because it's not a fast food restaurant, I will say they're very different concepts.

It's a fast food restaurant.

They're very different concepts.

Buffalo Wild Wings is a sit-down.

It's closer to a Chili's or an Applebee's.

Wingstop is geared towards takeout and delivery.

Okay.

Do wing stops have drive-thrus or are they all carry-outs?

I've not, I don't know if I've seen one, but I'm sure it's something that's not a good thing.

But it's the same vibe as like a drive-thru.

There's like a wing stop at a ghost kitchen near my apartment.

Yeah, a lot of them are just like carry-out carry-out counters.

There's not even tables in the place, kind of thing.

Does do they do anything, any Canada-specific wing varietals?

Is there anything like the equivalent of like an all-dress chip that's that's more of a Canada Sklusy?

I don't think so.

Yeah, I think it's all your kind of basic honey garlics and your whatever.

I just pulled this other one out.

Thank God I could remember it.

And I might go out on this one, but Zaxby's.

Show me Zaxby's.

Still in, still in.

Still in.

It's the one we haven't done.

Do you have zero strikes?

Zero strikes.

I'm done for it.

Steve is going to win.

He's gotten five out of nine.

There's no way for Mitch to win, but we can just see if there's a,

if we can close this list out.

There's one more left, number eight.

Steve, do you want to try to get a guess?

Yeah, I did just have a memory of a, like a visceral memory of Buffalo Wild Wings.

We were in, we had a day off once in Arkansas somewhere.

We were like at the hotel.

We got in late.

We were like driving all day.

And we get to the hotel and we're like, hey, man, like, we're really hungry.

Like, what's the best restaurant in town?

You know, we want to go.

And the guy was like, oh, yeah, you got to go to Buffalo Wild Wings.

And you're like, all right, I guess that's what we're doing.

Not a bad choice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was.

But yeah, I think that was my,

that's my only Buffalo Wild Wings.

Doesn't doesn't doesn't count, though.

Doesn't fucking count.

There's one left, number eight on the board.

It is a different category of chicken, I would say, than the other, the other chicken chains we've if you get this one, you just completely kick the shit out of me.

That's, I mean, that's fair, right?

The only one that's in my brain is Roscoe's, but that doesn't feel right.

Show me Roscoe's.

There's no way.

Unfortunately, you've collected your first strike, bitch.

What do you think?

Hmm.

Oh, God, I gotta go to the bathroom so bad.

Get your last strike, and then we can take a break.

My last strike, you don't think I'm gonna get it?

So we haven't reviewed this play.

Oh, we have reviewed this play.

Oh, Zachbies is the one.

Okay, so we have, and I said raising canes.

Yeah.

Different style of chicken that we've covered.

Oh, okay.

So, oh, okay.

Hmm.

Oh, I know what it is.

BBQ chicken.

Show me BBQ chicken.

Mitch, I'm sorry.

You got your third strike.

You are out.

Do you want me to say the answer?

No, he should guess as well.

All right, great.

Steve, do you want to take another guess?

No?

Okay.

So not BBQ chicken.

Is it a Korean-style chicken?

No, it's not a Korean chicken.

Oh, it's not a Korean chicken.

Oh, that's when you said a different kind of chicken.

No.

Oh,

I get it.

What is it?

It's a rotisserie-style chicken.

So-so?

You're close.

I'm close.

Hmm.

Boston Market.

It's not Boston Market.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

This is fun.

Okay.

Yeah, we're having fun.

I'm having a great time.

We can think of this together.

Okay.

This will be fun for me if we can get this together.

So a rotisserie-style chicken place.

No, it's, I mean, in my mind, I immediately was just thinking of the place you just tried for the first time.

It's not Cheeky Nando's.

No, because this is a U.S.

U.S.

that has a large U.S.

presence.

It is certainly a chain that I grew up with that has more of a West Coast presence,

but I believe it is national now.

Oh.

There was a very catchy jingle associated with it.

I never knew anything about it until I moved to L.A.

You didn't know anything about it until you moved to L.A.

And it has a jingle with all I can think of is the Titos Tacos.

You're in the right ballpark.

Oh!

El pollo po.

That's it.

There you go.

Do you want to take a question or do you want to take a shit?

Let's do the question.

Just like a restaurant buyer feedback, let's open to the feedback.

Today's email is from Adam from Portland.

Adam writes: I've heard Emma mention the Popeyes at the Kennebunk rest stop in Maine several times now, and it reminded me of the money.

I mentioned it too.

It's the only time I ever had Popeyes.

I live in Portland, Maine, and one time my lovely husband, much more successful, does not listen to the show, had me drive down to the rest stop to get Popeyes and bring it back home.

It was an hour and a half trip altogether.

The food was fine.

What's the furthest you would drive for fast food you like but don't love?

Fun, food fully yours, Adam.

Uh, P.S.

There's now a second Popeyes in Maine.

It's in South Portland across from the main mall.

Exciting stuff.

How about that?

Wow.

Thanks, Adam.

Furthest you've gone.

How about the alpha husband that doesn't listen to the show has that, has one of those alpha husbands?

Furthest you've gone for food you like but don't love.

Taking Popeyes for an hour and a half ride.

I'm like trying to decide what that would be like when you get it home.

It can't be very good.

You got to eat it on site.

Yeah.

Or at least like in the car.

So it's 45 minutes each way we're taking, right?

Yeah.

That you don't love.

I actually have an answer here because there was a time in college we were like, you want to get dipping dots?

They're like, yeah, let's get dipping dots.

And we're losing the locator for where dipping dots were.

And the closest one was on the Santa Monica pier and did not live at Santa Monica at the time.

So I had to take the bus all the way there.

And so it was like 40 minutes each way to basically to get dipping dots.

And, but you know what?

We're pretty good.

This is, this is tricky because this is just like what we do for the podcast all the time.

It's like, we're going to go to this place and it's like, whatever.

It's in Pasadena or something.

But thinking about outside of like,

outside of the premise of the podcast, outside of

something we have to do for work, something you do for like, hey, you know what?

I'm kind of craving that.

It's not my favorite, but it's kind of what I want right now.

I'm going to go out of my way for it.

Or, or there was maybe someone that, you know, you had a, you had a friend or, or, or a family member who was like, they really wanted to crave this.

They were really craving this new tagged along.

That's a good question.

I'd probably go pretty far out of my way for like a dairy queen blizzard if I was craving it.

Yeah, dairy queen blue.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah,

if that's what you're craving, you're not getting it anywhere else, really.

But I love dairy.

I love a dairy queen blizzard.

Yeah, that's where I'm struggling.

I'm like,

there's no Taco Bell near my house, but I love Taco Bell.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's, that's the, because I don't think I've ever done that for, for food that I'm just like.

Well, and then make it a hypothetical.

What's the furthest you would go?

Or maybe like like, like, it sounds like they went with their partner to get the, like, it wasn't for them, it was for their partner.

So, like, maybe it's like you have a friend or someone who's like, I really want this.

And you're like, yeah, I could go.

Right.

Yeah.

I mean, I feel like I've done that for like, let's go to the Outback or some shit like that.

You know what I mean?

And I'm like, and I don't love the Outback.

I once went, yeah, I once went way out of my way for Black Angus.

And I do like Black Angus.

I think Black Angus is fun.

Natalie and I have been to Black Angus for Thanksgiving.

It's like a fun spot.

I have an idea for the show.

But it's a bit of a haul.

And you get there and it's just like, this isn't blowing my mind, but some, I don't know, something is kind of a fun, fun place to eat.

Angus Week.

We watch Angus on the double.

We go to Black Angus.

That's pretty good.

We did Tombstone Week previously, where we watched Tombstone and then we had Tombstone Pizza.

Angus Week.

Yeah.

I've been thinking of doing Red Baron Week.

We got to figure out the right Red Baron movie.

I like that.

Yeah.

Angus Week, are you going to do like Scottish?

You're going to take on like some Scottish personality.

That's fun.

That is fun.

Yeah, that's fun.

That's fun as hell.

I'm thinking about like, I guess I kind of have to reverse engineer this a little bit, but like

there are no waffle houses near me.

Yeah.

Right?

Like Waffle House being kind of like a regional sort of in the south.

Like whenever we're in Kentucky, like visiting the in-laws or whatever, I'll make sure, even if nobody wants to come with me, I'm like, all right, I'm going to Waffle House.

Like,

because that's one that like I, I, it's just hitting all the time, and I never get to eat it at home.

100%.

This is my exact answer.

When I was in Arkansas and I shot a short film there after we wrapped,

I went with one guy to this one to Waffle House that was like, and it was out of the way to go there.

But here's the thing.

I also do love Waffle House, but I think that that's kind of the sort of answer that it's like, let's go to Waffle House.

Or like for me, back there, it would probably be like a chain that's like a like a Massachusetts chain that there's only one left of like friendlies or something, you know what I mean?

But I used to love friendly's, but I know that the quality, the, you know, like the quality is dipped and it's whatever sort of thing.

I think my answer right now, and I do really like this place, but like it, you know, going by the letter of the law, fast food you like but don't love, it's not one of my top chains.

This is a chain I really like.

I think, I think it's Arby's right now because they, they, all the Arby's in L.A.

proper have closed.

The closest one I can get to is in Inglewood.

So, you know, it's, it's a little bit out of the way, but I have gone to that Arby's.

And there are times I was just like, I just want Arby's.

This is worth the hassle to go all the way over there.

You know, I think if someone was here and they were like, I want to try rallies, I would love to go to, it's like, and for me, I have to go to like LAX area to go to rallies,

which is itself a 50-minute, two an hour drive.

Oh, yeah.

And so I'm like, in hell, I never want to drive to LAX.

Well, it sounds like you should take the rail and go to the LAX Metro Center.

I would love to take the rail, but you know how it is.

It's not completely done yet.

Well, there's a lot of issues.

Yeah.

You got to take a fucking bus.

Yeah, you get to LAX Metro Center now.

They They have not connected the air train to the airport until 2026.

So right now, you got to take a little two-mile bus.

Get to me when it's connected.

You're the train guy.

You don't like a meaningless experience.

Oh, I like riding buses.

But that would be

a lot more elegant if you get on the hair train there.

Yeah.

So what about a tour bus?

Whatever.

You want to like a tour bus?

What's a different kind of bus?

You get buses with strangers.

Yeah, I like the city bus.

God damn it.

Most of

a little more local color.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah.

But I'm also like, I'm not, I get like, and then I'm going to be on the road for a long time.

I know.

I get you don't like it.

You're just an infinitely frustrating man in many ways.

Now, if you knew you could dump your piss

on any city.

Yeah.

Oh, this is a great question.

Dump your piss on anything.

This is a great question.

You could dump your piss on any city in a

lower 48, right?

Chicago, you've tasted Dave Matthews.

Now you're going to taste mine.

You get the fucking piss.

The Mitch piss.

you're gonna you're gonna be praying for dave matthews piss after you get my piss

it's nasty

uh my pick is easy boston massachusetts

you piece of shit

we talking about the boston pea party after i'm there

quincy's safe

quincy is safe it's jacksonville florida for me

if you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants you can email us at feedback.com or leave us a voicemail at 830 godo That's 830-4636-84.

Our producers Emma Erd Brinker, associate producer, Emilia Marino, our supervising video producer, Casey Donahue, our video editor, Mike Dorfman.

Doughboys merch, kinshipgoods.com/slash Doughboys, and the Doughboys WALLA weekly bonus episode over at patreon.com slash Doughboys.

Steve Sledzkowski of Pop.

What a treat to have you here.

Thanks, guys.

It's amazing.

And I will say,

as a fan and listener, I know what it's like to be in a creative partnership that is many years long.

Sure.

And how difficult it is.

And I just want to say it's nice to hear you guys

actually

not shy away from when there are moments of disagreement and tension.

Because it shows how much you both care about this.

And I know that it's a goofy podcast or whatever, but it brings...

me a lot of joy and i think a lot of people a lot of joy so it's nice it means a lot why am i saying this also we we are both fans and listeners of yours, and you make infinitely better product.

No, well, that's not.

The bar is

low for both of us.

No, listen to pup.

That's what I say.

And also, I got to say,

that's very kind for you, but I want to know, do you have anyone in the band that like

that won't

travel by plane or by car and only by train?

Yeah, I'd also say, do you have anyone in the band who's like doesn't show up on time and doesn't check their email

you could have just said me like

I'm the princess of the band

no it's unfortunately that part of like the travel and all that you just get kind of you realize you have more in common with like long-haul truckers and like

business trap like flight travelers.

It's just like, I'm like, oh, this is not what I ever expected to be in my life.

Me just like being annoyed when someone like can't fit their suitcase

in the carry-on.

I'm like, come on, come on.

Also, too many people trying to get away with just getting, like, if you're there for a week, just bring a fucking suitcase for crying out loud.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I guess checking bags is maybe it costs more money on an offline.

Yeah, sometimes it does.

But, you know,

but yeah, I, I, uh,

the band is, you know, the record's out.

Who will look after the dogs?

Um,

when people are hearing this, I guess we will be.

If there's anyone listening in New Zealand or Australia, we'll be there in August.

Wow, yeah.

Yeah, I'm going to be really tired.

And

if you're in the US, we'll be on tour with our friend Jeff Rosenstock

in September and October.

And for Canadian listeners, we will be on tour in Canada at the absolute worst fucking time in November, December.

Wow.

So,

yeah, if you are interested in coming out to a show, we'll be around.

I love L.

Check it out.

I have to come to see you on concert.

Yeah, we'll be in L.A.

When are you going to be here?

Yeah,

I know where I am all the time.

I have that in my brain.

I don't ever have to look.

Do you know where you're going to be playing?

Uh-huh.

Yeah, I do.

While you look that up,

October 2nd at the Hollywood Palladium.

At the Palladium.

Oh, how far away?

Wow, that's the rules.

Yeah, yeah.

So, well, you guys, you let me know.

Oh, hell yeah.

We'll make it happen.

There you go.

You'll maybe see me.

Yeah, I mean, hey,

Wags, Wags is just not.

We've had this thing come up a lot, just like between the four of us, where when friends come into town, like on tour and stuff,

we start to be like, so we can go for dinner.

And then, like, I don't need to come to the show if you don't want.

We're fine, right?

I'd be honored to come to the show.

That was more a joke towards why.

If I'm in town, I will be here.

That is the truth.

I'll be there.

Hell yeah.

Wow.

Hey, that'll do it for this episode of Dough Boys Until next time.

For this moonman, Mike Mitchell.

I'm Tiger Wager.

Happy Eating.

See ya.

This fall, the Food and Wine Classic in Charleston returns November 14th through the 16th for three days of incredible food, wine, and southern hospitality in one of the country's most charming cities.

You'll experience grand tastings, cooking demonstrations, and beverage seminars featuring top chefs, wine and spirits experts, and the bold seasonal flavors of the Low Country.

It's a weekend built for discovery, connection, and unforgettable culinary moments.

Tickets are going fast, so head to foodandwineclassicincharleston.com to grab yours before they're gone.

That was a head gum podcast.