Little Caesars 4 with Josh Gondelman

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Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com/slash doughboys media.

The three youngest directors to have a film open number one at the American box office are James Cameron, Steven Spielberg, and Josh Trank.

Trank's 2012 Chronicle, a found-footage superhero film scripted by Nepal Baby Pariah Max Landis, was a surprise smash, putting him on a garden path to join former Wunderkins Cameron and Spielberg as a reliable box office hitmaker.

Trank was handed that opportunity with his next job.

At just the age of 30, he was tasked with helming the third cinematic version of Fantastic Four, Lose the The, it's Cleaner, following Roger Corman's unreleased B-Movie 90s version and Tim Story's two middling efforts in the aughts.

But the production struggled as Trank clashed with his cast and the studio, and also was a source of offset drama.

From the Hollywood Reporter, quote, Trank had several small dogs who were left in a rented house in New Orleans while the film was shooting there.

According to sources, as much as $100,000 worth of damage was done to the property.

Ultimately, the film was wrested from him by Fox, and in 2015, in a fit of pre-release frustration, Trank tweeted, quote, a year ago, I had a fantastic version of this, and it would have received great reviews.

You'll probably never see it.

That's reality, though.

Since then, his only film has been 2020's Capone starring Tom Hardy as the titular syphilitic gangster, which was denied theatrical release due to the pandemic.

But Hollywood being Hollywood, the Marvel IP Trank once steered is being mined yet again.

Now fittingly, in its fourth iteration, the MCU Quartet has partnered with Fittingly, the nation's fourth largest pizza chain, for one pie, split four ways.

Will the feature film debut of of prolific TV director Matt Shackman and its pizza pie tie-in, Pie-In, finally break the F4 cinematic curse?

Or will it leave audiences saying tranks, but no tranks?

This week on Doughboys, we return for the second time this year to Little Caesars for the fantastic 4-in-1 pizza.

Flame on!

Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host,

Jurassic Spork, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell.

Huh?

Oh,

Jurassic Park.

Now, to me, I think it's maybe overthought a little bit because I think Jurassic Spork is just a little bit cleaner.

Lose the ass.

But

thanks for the submission.

Hope you like this roast.

Jurassic Sport, kind of like Jurassic Park.

As I watched the newest one, Jurassic World Rebirth, I couldn't help but think how much better it would be if Mike Mitchell was in it.

Oh, that's nice.

That is good.

He could have run around trying not to diarrhea everywhere.

So funny.

It was nice.

I mean,

kind of belittles

your gifts as an actor.

I think you'd maybe bring a little bit more.

But I can do that.

That's pretty good.

I mean, that would be very funny.

To be fair, you don't have to act like you're pretending trying not to diarrhea.

That's just reality.

I mean, I'm sure that the set would be like, we don't like you, diarrhea, or in the falls, or whatever I would be doing.

I think it would be bad.

What do you say?

I would like that.

In the credit cheer of Man with Diarrhea Number Two.

Number two.

Giamatti.

He was incredible.

Breathtaking.

He died.

He died.

He died while filming.

Love you all.

Thanks for your years of free entertainment.

Eddie Spaghetti, RoastSitbirdFox.com.

Amelia's trying to kiss up to me because she deleted a bunch of notes today.

We got them.

We found them.

Everything is back on track.

Everything's all been reclaimed.

It's fine.

I looked at the Doughboys notes section on my Apple phone and there were zero notes.

And then I'm free.

I texted her and I was like, hey, where did the Apple notes go?

And then I went and I showered.

I'm planning a trip to Maui.

That's fine.

Speaking of Jurassic Park with my mom and sister, we're going to Maui.

And

trying to find a big long surfboard for the three of us to surf on.

Like the banana boat photo from

the NBA.

You're all going to play on the Miami teams.

It'd be a good trio.

I mean, we wouldn't do too well, but we are all tall-ish.

It's true.

Yeah.

My mom doesn't like when I say that.

I feel like she doesn't like the compliment that she's tall, but she's a Emma.

You're a tall drink of water.

I feel like that's like a, there is, unfortunately for women, like something of a stigma of being tall.

Yeah, I think it's not as cool as men being tall.

Also, like, I feel like I've said this to your mom, but like clothing clothing shopping just sucks so being tall just becomes something that you're like oh this sucks and is a nuisance and not like a fun gift but i don't have to ask for help to reach the top shelf at home so yeah it comes with she doesn't like to get called like karine abdul jabbar because she's tall

you know like that's uh you're roasting your mom i'm just saying that's a pretty good road that is

um

but uh she's my mom is my mom is tall but i don't like i like i feel like she's all she's almost my height

yeah yeah yeah and so is emma yeah yeah i feel like she was probably even taller when she was younger, too, because as you get older, you get shorter.

Yes,

she's turning tiny.

I love your mom.

I wish we could have, I didn't get to spend much time.

We were in Boston

with, which hey, certainly pertains to our guests.

We're in Boston and your mom and your sister Courtney, we got to talk a little bit, but we didn't get to really hang with them.

That's right.

You didn't get to hang with them more than she got the Doughboys comic book today and was pissed off.

She got a Wagger toy.

She was like, I got the Wagger toy.

I was like, I'll get it for you.

The notes are fine.

The notes have been found.

But I told you, I was like, the notes are all gone.

And then I went to the bathroom.

And then

you unraveled by the time I got back.

I went to the shower.

I thought the lack of response meant that you were mad.

And then I was just frantically texting Mitch, like,

I'll relabel all the notes.

It's okay.

We'll get them back to normal.

That's well, I did.

I did not.

I did not care.

But then it was fun to come in here and yell at you about

why, because you were going to ask if I liked the new Jurassic World.

Yes, yeah, Rebirth.

I didn't love it.

I know.

Yeah, I know you.

I know you didn't yeah i think you didn't really i really didn't like it now i think you would say it was uh akin to something that comes out of this little hole here

for our audio listeners

uh bitches rubbing jemmy for zy so i guess you're saying a dog's butthole is like this little hole or dog piss i guess i don't know if you're talking about her little tooth

or dog heart dog or park that url i'd be like when you said it was dog come like i would be like i wouldn't know what the pick really if you said it was dog come.

If you said that movie's dog come, I guess I would know you'd think it's bad, but I was like, is that worse than dog shit?

Or is it worse than I don't think so?

Is it worse?

I feel like I just would rather, I'm just so used to encountering dog shit.

Well, we're going to have to decide this on a double.

What's worse?

We'll figure it out.

You were like, yeah, you were a little bit more of an apologetic, apologist for

Rebirth.

I don't think that I thought Rebirth was good.

Yeah.

I just like him so it's, it's the, it's the Star Wars, the uh rise of Skywalker.

Right.

You're numb to the Jurassic Worlds.

You're you're kind of just in the same way you're numb to the Disney Star Wars.

So so I was like, oh, whatever.

And I was like, oh, they're going to the park.

I mean, like all the like all the dino DNA, like the dyno mixing of DNA stuff.

I'm like, I don't care about this at all.

Pretty much.

My favorite Jurassic World is Jurassic Worlds 2 because I thought it was like an interesting, they did a haunted house thing.

I was like, this is interesting and different.

And I think that guy, J.A.

Boyana, is that how you say his name?

I think he's a decent director.

But Jurassic Rebirth, I

it's it's not no one, everyone I've talked to has not liked it, including, I don't think you liked it either.

I didn't love it.

I'll say this: yeah, I thought that all the set pieces, like I thought the, when they were like the

Mosasaur, whatever, the, when they're in the boat with the fish, all the all the dino, the Jurassic fish, yeah, and then when they are the T-Rex, the T-Rex raft ride, and then the bird stuff, I was like, all those action sequences were done okay.

And so I actually thought that they were better than, it made them better than a lot of the Jurassic World stuff because I thought that those set pieces were okay.

But like, I didn't think the movie was good.

I just didn't really feel the stakes in any of those because it felt like kind of abstract.

But, but, but anyway, I do like that it's structured around.

It's like Shadow of the Colossus.

It's like three boss fights.

It's like, it's like landing and sea.

That's interesting.

Didn't David,

he said, David Kep.

Kep.

David Kep.

Third movie he's written this year.

Two Soderbergs in a New Jurassic Park.

How about Kep?

He wrote the two Soderbergs?

Yeah, he wrote Black Bag and Presents.

Those are fucking good.

I saw Black Bag really.

I love Black Bag.

Very fun.

So fun.

David Kep is a good writer.

I mean, he wrote the first emission of Impossible.

He wrote the first Jurassic Park.

Yeah.

Jurassic Park.

I mean, he's good.

Yeah.

The movie is...

Have you seen this?

I haven't.

Before we, first of all, wait, hold on, hold on.

While we're in this world, while we're criticizing.

Yo, while we're in the Jurassic World.

No,

while we're talking about media, I just wanted to, real quick, shout something else out.

Another RE, Rejection, a novel that was recommended to me by Amelia Marino, our associate producer.

Amelia,

this book is, you said it was very Weiger, and I read it and it is

that in the sense that it's like really,

I guess, disgusting.

It's a truly disgusting book.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Have you read it?

I haven't yet.

I've heard this.

I love this.

I absolutely love this.

It's one of my favorite books ever.

And then, yeah.

It's so

like, like,

perfectly contemporary, like really captures what a two-online brain is like.

Yeah.

It's a long read too.

About eight inches unread.

It's actually a pretty short book.

But it's pretty long even unread.

Red means like.

I get what you're saying.

A boner.

I think the.

I thought you meant uncircumcised.

Oh, that's good, too.

Sorry.

I'm doing a lot of talking for a voice that hasn't been used, and your audience does not know this voice.

The sleeve is off.

The sleeve, it is a sleeveless book.

The sleeve is off.

Sorry.

So, yeah, if you like this sort of shit, you'd like this book.

I have no idea.

Hey, look, I'm just going to say,

I have no idea what that thing looks like.

I've never seen it before.

You're a hog.

I'm not sure if I can do it.

Why did we move to this?

We're talking about a book that me and Amelia enjoyed.

Can we talk about that for a while?

I'm in trouble for HR, but before the show ends, you've got to show me.

HR you're so.

Before WTF ends.

Before WTF ends, you go.

I'm going to show it to Marin.

Who are you?

Why are you doing this?

Get out of the garage.

Our podcast ends in the headgum bathroom.

We're showing each other our hogs.

That's the last day of the podcast.

You're both doing the Dirt Diggler monologue.

We leave the bathroom nodding, saying, it's just what we thought it was.

Sorry to make you uncomfortable there, while I love it.

I want to say this.

I

before we got to hit him with the drop, right?

Shall I just hit him with the drop for?

I'll go into this first because it's not as fun.

Okay.

I have long COVID.

I've talked about this before.

And then people are like, how does he know he has long COVID or whatever?

And there is no test to know if you have long COVID.

I've talked to a doctor for a very long time, in a year and a half.

I always assumed I had it, but I was trying to figure out what was wrong.

I took a nucleocapsid test

recently and I came back positive for COVID antibodies, which I haven't had COVID for over a year.

So, that is like a sign that you still have COVID antibodies in your body, which is a sign that you were, you could have long COVID.

Sure, I guess.

So, I got positive for that.

My doctor, I'm kind of an open book here, so this is a lot of information, but I'm going to share this information because it might be helpful to someone.

Okay.

So, last week we recorded an episode with Neil and Mitra,

and

I

was shaking with anxiety, and I didn't understand why I was shaking with anxiety.

Yeah.

And afterwards, I made a joke that bombed and I was like so self-aware about it.

And I was very upset about it.

Not that upset about it, but I was like, ugh.

And I was shaking.

And afterwards, I revealed I was on like my fourth or fifth day of Lexapro and I had never taken Lexapro before.

And so my doctor was like, with long COVID,

he's like, there's no way to really, there's no cure for long COVID.

And he's like, we should just some of these symptoms.

And I had gotten an anxiety from like some of these symptoms.

I brain, a lot of brain fog is what my issue was.

So I have a lot of brain fog.

And because of the last year and a half, I'm anxious and I'm depressed.

So he's like, we can try some SSRI stuff.

And there's some thoughts that with long COVID, your, your serotonin is low.

So I started, I started Lexapro and I was on like my fourth or fifth day of taking Lexapro and I was like shaking with nerves.

And I didn't realize that the first week of taking an SSRI drug fucks with you so bad

and I had no idea but I'm saying all that not to make an excuse for myself for being on funny because I'm always on fun

but I'm saying I'm saying I'm saying that because since I've been taking Lexapro my brain fog has been so much better hey that's nice there's anyone out there who is suffering from the same thing I am which 10% of people who get COVID get long COVID.

So so, or that's what they say now.

So like if anyone is suffering with it, I'm on Adderall and I'm on, and I am on

Lexapro.

And Adderall, I don't don't even feel anything.

It's low dose for both of them.

It's like five milligrams for both of them.

But I'm an open book.

I wanted to say that and get that out there.

But, and if it can help anyone in my situation, I just want to let them know.

That's what I hate.

That's very, it's very helpful.

You just say that.

Yeah, yeah.

And you guys were very nice because I was like, I feel crazy.

And I was like shaking.

To be fair, the joke that you thought bombed did not, in fact, bomb.

Oh, but like, who cares about the fucking bad joke?

It's not shit.

Do the joke again and we'll see if it's good.

I just, I was just so joking.

if I didn't see myself and I was so worried that I was uh

I was so nervous that I wasn't myself and I never cared about I never cared about bombing on I don't care anymore.

It doesn't bother me.

But you texted us and was like, just cut me out of the whole episode.

That's what I said after, after we were done, but you guys were also very nice afterwards.

And I was like, I feel kind of crazy.

And then you were telling me like, well, you know, from some friends' experiences that like SSRIs in the first week or whatever can really mess you up.

So it takes a couple of weeks to

for your body to get used to it.

And for sure, I know I'm on like eight, day eight, or I'm like, not even, you know what I mean?

Like it was like a, maybe day seven or something like that.

It's day six.

So, uh, uh, wait, no, more than that.

Whatever.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter what day I'm on.

I feel, I feel much better.

I'm settling into it.

Oh, that's only stage.

That's great.

Yeah.

But anyways, if it helps anyone, I just wanted to say that.

I'm an open book.

I don't care about, you know, I think there should be no stigma with taking any sort of antidepressants or anti-anxiety medication.

So anyways, hit them with a drop.

Better be a funny one.

Real life.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's why you play the game.

I want to see some.

I want to see some.

I want to see some nasty grunty picks.

Hawk Runty.

Yeah.

Hock Runty.

Yeah.

Hawk Runty.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Runty picks, for God's sake.

I've never seen the losing screen for Banjo Kazooie.

Piece of shit till you have

it was a good drop.

That was a great drop.

I remember that intense Grunty conversation from our episode with Brendan James, where we were also talking about pizza.

That's right.

And hot grunty is so hot.

And

I wish she was real.

Oh, no, I gotta.

You're not that into her?

No, I just gotta look.

I just need a pick for reference.

I need to refresh my memory.

Like I said, I don't think I saw the game over screen in Panjo-Kazooie.

She is very good looking.

She's very attractive.

Yeah, I get it.

Can I see her?

There we go.

Damn.

She's in Banjo-Kazooie.

Yeah.

Mi Bella.

It's one of those things where it's just like, damn, why'd they make her so hot?

And then,

you know, as somebody who worked in the video game industry, it's because it's just a bunch of dorks making the video.

She's fucking horny dorks.

You could turn me into a toad any day, Wags said, hot grunty.

I love the computer lady.

Drops at birdfuck.com.

It's not fair that she's not real.

You know what I mean?

It's not fair that Hot Grunty isn't real.

The sexy version of the villain from Banjo-Kazooie isn't real.

Mitch is a single-issue voter, and he'll vote for whoever makes Hot Grunty real.

There could be some, like, I guarantee you I'll make Hot Grunty real.

Caruso, whoever it is for mayor, you know what I mean?

I would vote anyway.

Anyone who could get Hot Grunty into our world.

but you know, if hot grunty was real, she'd just like date a DJ.

You know, like she was, she's not gonna be dating Mike Mitchell

from Twisted Metal.

She's gonna be dating like Logan Paul.

I could DJ

Parappa the rapper, who's who she'll probably date instead of me.

I also think Parapa the Rapper should be real.

Parapa the Rapper.

Parapa the Rapper isn't real.

That'd be cool.

It would be a cool rapid dog.

Hi, all.

Happy fourth.

My pets are scared shitless because of the fireworks, so I'm staying in and making drops.

True Doughboys fan behavior.

Hope you enjoyed this hot, grunty drop.

God bless you all.

Sam or Ham underscore Sando in the Dose Cord.

Thanks, Ham Sando.

I can be found at gummy, uh, gummylung.com.

Gummylung.com.

Wow.

How about that?

Mitch, our guest today, returning to the show, an Emmy winning writer and comedian from last week tonight with John Oliver and Deesus and Miro.

His new special positive reinforcement is available now on YouTube.

Josh Gondelman.

Hi, Josh.

Hey, thank you so much for having me.

It's such a pleasure to be here with you all.

We're so happy to have you when you, because you know, you're based in New York, but when you're out in LA, it's so great that you make time for us.

And we're so happy to have you back.

Oh my gosh, truly a pleasure.

It's so much fun to chat with you guys, to start the movement, the hot country movement.

I did forget whether this is one of the podcasts we were supposed to talk before you're introduced to, or whether you're super not.

So no,

you can talk.

just shouting dog come.

You're like, who's saying dog come?

Oh, no, that was perfect.

We should, we should, we should remind, like, let's, Emma and Amelia, let's remind us ourselves in the future to tell our guests that it's fine to talk.

Oh, yeah, because it's fine to talk.

I appreciate that.

Thank you very much.

We talk for a couple of minutes up top.

We get, we get re-we're talking to each other, getting readjusted to the episode.

We're warming up, yeah.

But I think people can chime in for sure.

And our listeners can

kind of 2x through that chunk until the guests.

I think you handled it the perfectly well.

You did great.

Level, level

level um you're a jet you're an Emmy winner I'm a Jemmy sitter I like that that's really good bitch see I'm not even embarrassed by that

that leg surprise kicked all the way in

so you've been out in LA for you're you're out here for about a week or so yesterday

anything in particular you've been nibbling oh gosh I have nibbling yes so my wife Maris came out she she had a launch event for her new essay collection I want to burn this place down available now in bookstores and book internets.

And yeah, she's the best.

She's just a really brilliant, wonderful writer.

And so she and I went to, we'd never been before when we were visiting LA.

We went to Musso and Frank's for the first time.

Wow.

That was a blast.

Classic sort of Hollywood experience, a place where we reviewed it on the podcast before, but for people who maybe didn't listen to those episodes, to episodes where we talked about it, it's like a frozen in time, like 1930s, like

fine dining establishment, what that idea of old Hollywood was.

And, you know, like, like it's where the rat pack used to to dine when they were in town and i love like

in his room

i love like a cozy booth too yeah

i feel like we live in brooklyn and there's all the like so many of the nice restaurants in our neighborhood the chairs are like stool one strap of wicker over the back and that's the whole chair and it's like i just i like like to be comfy yeah and so it's like a nice comfy experience like a a cozy like oh we're out and it's a night on the town we did we were super jet lagged so we did go out at 5 p.m.

and left at like 6:45 to like blazing sunlight.

I like that.

We, we had a, I like, I love the atmosphere in there.

I think it's great.

It is one of those things, as a bigger guy, it's people used to be smaller when you're sitting in those booths.

They're pretty snug.

Frank Sinatra is two foot six.

You don't talk about it.

Well, not all of them was small.

It is true.

There was an Ava Gardner quote:

he, you know, he was

119 pounds, pounds, but 19 of those pounds were his cock, something like that.

119 pounds.

You didn't say it the way you like to say it.

I can't, I couldn't remember the quote exact.

Cock, yeah.

Sorry.

You didn't see any English on it.

Yeah, there you go.

That's, yeah,

it was great.

Sorry, I blazed right past Frank Snatcher's big dick.

Yeah.

119 pounds is very slight.

He was a small man.

Yeah.

A short king.

He was a short king.

Yeah.

119 pounds.

Yeah.

Jesus.

I don't know if that was actually true.

She may have been being hyperbolic, and she was certainly being hyperbolic about him having a 10-pound cock.

It was so sad.

Tumors, ripple tumors.

Just

the saddest cock you've ever seen.

Enormous in just a death sentence.

And then our Airbnb is right next to, a few blocks away from this.

I was going to say, one look at Hawk Grunty.

You're done for.

She's going to turn pale white.

All that blood.

We're near this little coffee shop cafe called Doubting Thomas, which our Airbnb host recommended for the pastries, and they are really good.

I got like a Danish with whipped cream and fruit, and they have a very like

avocado-forward breakfast burrito that's really good.

I know, I've heard recently, I know your breakfast burrito stance, so I apologize for reading.

I just, I was, I went hard on them.

I think I went a little too crazy on the breakfast, but I did.

I went a little crazy.

I've had good, I've had good breakfast burritos before.

But it's, yeah, it's, so it's been nice.

We've been, we've been trying to eat well, but not overdo it.

And my, my wife is now gone, and so I'm going to eat like a monster for three days.

I love it.

What do you like?

So this is a thing.

When you're in a relationship,

there are the meals you get when you're not with your partner.

You get to go a little bit more feral.

You get to maybe have stuff that they're less interested in.

I'm just living that hashtag no, no wife life.

People aren't really doing hashtags anymore, but

the no wife life, you can go feral whenever you want.

Sure.

But yeah, well, I want to hear this.

I want the answer to this question, but also I do want to hear what you got at Musso and and Frank.

I want to hear what you guys got at Musso and Frank's.

Oh, yeah.

So, okay, I'll do that one first.

We did the Caesar salad,

which was great Caesar salad.

We did, we had something else.

Oh, we got olives.

My house is a big olive head.

Love olives.

So we went with the like marinated olive bread, which is really good.

We each got in the filet, eight-ounce filet.

Very good.

The potatoes are rotten.

Good.

And then the grilled broccolini.

Yeah.

I think you did a great order.

Thank you.

What did you, do you, do you, how did you think the food because I think a lot of people who go to Musos, it's funny to me because we went for steak and shake whatever number it was, eight or something with Susser.

Was it nine?

It might have been this last year with Susser.

No idea.

Susser was happening.

It could have happened pre-pandemic.

I have no fucking idea.

I think it was going to be in the future.

I think

just like having a premonition.

It was December 2023.

2023.

Okay, so

not this last, it wasn't the last day.

Oh, right, because we went to the pizza place, the last one.

So two, two steak and shakes ago.

Yes.

and saucer wanted, I think, a big steak dinner, our December year-end episode where we go ostensibly to steak and shake.

And I had like because you're a big fan of their beef calorie fried pollets, yeah, that's right.

I had like one of my favorite dinners there that time, like they were like knocking it out of the park.

But then I think sometimes, like, I was like, Oh, this is like one of the best steak dinners I've ever had.

And then I think that there's other times where people can go there and be like, The food is okay, well, again, part of the frozen in time aspect is it's like it feels very dated, you know, like the menu is not, it.

I mean, this function is kind of broken.

Yeah, there's that whole section that's like, here's a bunch of fucked up shit.

Yeah, that's what it's called, I think.

Yeah, uh, but me.

Jellied bread?

What the fuck?

All right.

Claw of new time.

Damn.

They're like, yeah, Joey Bishop loved the claw.

He would hit you if they were out of it.

I guess the Rolling Stones' favorite thing to order there was liver and onions.

And it's just like, oh, yeah, they're old men.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like very old guys and British.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That was that, was that like back in the day even or was that is that like I think it was back in the day actually but okay so like like you're on your own you get to eat whatever you want you get to go wild what do you indulge in so my my wife has type 1 diabetes and so there are certain foods that she kind of steers clear of just

because it's like

not great for her blood sugar so which like stuff with a lot of sauce is kind of unpredictable so I do a lot of like Indian food when you're that's like kind of a like if she's out at a work thing and I'm home for the night hanging out with the pug, I'll like almost, I'll like very reliably order Indian food for myself.

We can't just blaze past the pug.

But so I want to come back to that.

That's what Wager says to Natalie when he's going to record with me.

I go hang out with the pug for a while.

What is your,

like, what any favorite Indian dishes, any go-tos?

Gosh, I, um, the place that I do, that I go in my neighborhood has like a, like a special that I can break into two meals because it comes with, you get an appetizer, you get two veggie samosas.

I get the

lamb sag because it's got some sugar in there.

It's not just, it's not too creamy.

And then some rice and a garlic nun, as usual.

That's like my usual order.

And I like break it all kind of right down the middle and do lunch the next day.

Tell us about your pug.

Oh, she's so good.

Her name is Maggie.

She's from, I don't know if I should even say this.

We got, she was

the Pug Rescue of New England.

They were very gracious, even though we don't live in New England.

They know my New England roots and our pug roots.

So that they hooked us up.

And she was living in Worcester, Massachusetts.

She's with a foster family she's a woosta fosta and

and she is so cute her um she's like four and a half we because we had an elderly pug named busy who um passed away last year yeah um i normally don't say it like that

no thank you i normally say we said goodbye to her last year and then i tell people she left the country during the election

after the election

um

but uh there's two versions of that there's a yeah yeah totally she she thought trump was gonna lose and she was out of it i don't want to live in this country anymore.

She, and, and so we, our last pug, busy, was 17, a little over 17 when she passed away.

And which long life.

Yeah.

We felt so grateful for that.

And then we thought we were going to wait a little longer before getting a new dog.

And then, don't listen, Jimmy.

And

then

like this spring, my wife Maris was like, oh, you know, I think I'm ready.

And so we like, we kind of, you have to go kind of whole hog in the adoption process because you just like fall in love and you have to be like, I can see myself living with this dog for a decade.

And then you go, ah, someone else got her.

And you're like, ah, shit,

I'm bereft.

And then you have to fall in love with a new dog like every three days.

And we, we really lucked out and we got a real, a real star.

That's amazing.

Yeah.

I love it.

We're really, really psyched.

All right.

You mentioned Boston.

And the

New England Pug Rescue is the

Pug Rescue of New England.

Yes.

I remember running away from them often.

Get the big men.

We're talking New England.

You and Mitch have shared roots in Boston.

That's right.

Yeah.

You started doing comedy there.

I did.

I really love Massachusetts.

Where are we talking?

I started, so

at Dick Dougherty's Beantown Comedy Vault.

Okay, okay, cool.

Yeah, that's not a bad spot.

And the comedy studio in Harvard Square.

Yeah, that's a good one.

I hosted an open mic at Sally O'Brien's in Somerville for a while.

The only one I didn't know was at the Harvard Square one.

Oh, I think I do know.

Wait,

what was the first one again?

The Dick Dougherty's Beamtown Comedy Vault.

A lot of the Emerson guys.

Oh, okay.

Because it was right, like right kind of in the Emerson campus, essentially.

I mean, the only one I don't know is all of them.

I know the one in Harvard Square.

Okay.

But I, but a lot of the, I mean, like, when I was in Boston, I saw Robert Schimmel at the Comedy Connection?

Comedy Connection.

Yeah.

At Fanuel Hall, right?

I worked there a couple of times, like a little bit before they closed down.

yeah motley's was the club that's gone dick daughtery was a fascinating rest in peace he um he hired me to host like college night at his club on tuesdays and he was like he called me to like give me his life story and i i think this is okay to share but he goes uh he was like i was he's an old guy he kind of looked like ben franklin and he so on the phone he's like giving me the rundown of his career and he's like i was famous i was i was killing i was bringing money hand over fist playing all up and down cape cod and i was like okay that was like the the reach of his right then he was like I was rich I was famous and I threw it all away on booze and drugs and I was like I'm really sorry to hear that and he goes ah that's okay because I got rich and famous again I was like oh and he goes and I threw it away again on booze

best story I've ever heard it just like over the phone yeah and I'm like so do you want me to host a show for $30 on Tuesday night or not

I was like 22 years old like oh sir

they love to tell I mean and I you know I love to listen to that.

I do too.

I like love that kind of like mythologizing the good old days in like a fun way.

It like really, it, I remember being on the phone being like, well, I'll never forget this story, and I will never fact-check any of it.

When I, when I, well, there's like all of those guys, like Lenny Clark and all those guys, there was like the place is on like Route One and stuff.

You know what I'm talking about?

Emma, there's like that like giggles at the Prince Pizza.

Yes, Prince Pizza.

And then the Kowloon.

Yeah, Kowloon.

Yes, yeah.

Kowloon is.

Kalloon's legendary.

Wag's never been to Kalloon.

I could take it to Kalloon.

That would be a really fun Boston trip.

Yeah.

It is like that.

I heard this is again, never fact-checked it.

Someone said it's the largest Chinese restaurant in the world.

It's this huge, like two-story fusion, Asian fusion restaurant, tons of tiki drinks.

Yeah.

And there's like a chips mast as part of the decor that you can like eat dinner in, like eat dinner in the bow of a ship.

And I went to, they also have true upstairs.

You go upstairs.

I went to, it was a memorial, sorry, a memorial reception for a friend.

And I brought my wife.

She'd never been there.

And she's like, what is this place?

And we walked upstairs and there was the biggest thin blue line flag I've ever seen in my life.

She was like, I donated that.

And my wife was like, is that, is that for the funeral?

And I was like, I think it's just for the restaurant to be like, hey, we're cool.

Cops, don't fucking fuck with us.

So they got a ton of cops in there for sure.

It's right on Route 1.

So it's like a place where like you go on drink my ties and then you go on to Route 1, basically.

It's on a highway, basically.

yeah it's on a highway basically it is i like remember driving around there like going there after like uh theater you know plays and stuff in high school and route one there the on ramps are like six feet long you have to go from stops to 70 like yes and my it's two lanes so there is no way to get out of the way of traffic everyone's just going full tilt and i was i was like such a nervous slow driver as a kid and i was driving my dad's this is like 2003 i'm driving my dad's 86 stick shift Honda Accord, just like praying no one reruns me going 1,000 miles an hour.

I would say it's akin to the

two.

Is it the two that has the stop signs that you have to then just jump out on?

Is it the two freeway?

Like up in the two freeway?

I think it is.

So we're 110.

I think it's the one I'm going to.

It is the 110.

Okay.

So we're going to go to the house.

I thought it was either the two or the two.

Hyper-specific New England highway talk to hyper-specific LA highway.

That's right.

So yeah, it's

a T-wise.

That was for you.

No, no, no, I get it.

Yeah.

Is it the one-tener?

Is it the two, the two and the one-ten?

Oh, I guess it is the one-tener.

The one ten.

Maybe it's both.

Yeah.

You would, Samoa Joe loves

Kyle Kaloon.

Like, wrestlers always go there.

It's like, it's that sort of like a lot of Chinese restaurants, which you've seen some.

Like, there's a, it's like a Chinese restaurant/slash tiki theme that's kind of mixed between the two.

If it was not owned by an Asian family for years, like an Asian American family, you would look at the building and be like, is this building racist?

Yes.

That's the old Boston charm.

Is this building a culture?

Is this like culturally specific or is it a full-on mockery?

I mean, and a lot of those places are fucking awesome.

I mean, like, they're some of my favorite places.

They're like a restaurant that tells it like it is.

They're like, they're like Disney.

They're like digital.

It's representing like a culture that doesn't actually exist.

Everyone I've ever been to have been Asian American owned.

It wasn't like some guy named

Sean Smith being like, yeah, this would fucking rock.

Dude, I mean, I have dreamed of buying the Wallace and Yaw Club and turning it into a tiki bar, which is appropriation, but that is like my dream of doing that someday.

It would fucking rule.

To have, imagine that, a yacht club and it's a tiki bar, you go out on the water, whatever.

That's nice.

I think in our current political climate, appropriation is a plus now.

Like, it can't actually be the original culture of the base.

You will not get funding.

This might make it happen, honestly.

But the Route 1 has the federal government is giving you funding for this TV bar.

They took it away from the national, from NOAA.

We don't know when storms are happening, but we do.

We can't have white people on a TV bar.

On Route 1, there's a Sonic Wags, and there is a pizzeria.

There's like

the second best pizzeria Regina.

And there is like...

It used to be Hilltop Steakhouse.

And you have the big neon cactus and cows and stuff.

There's a building that is half Dunkin' Donuts drive-through and half liquor stores.

So you can get everything you need in one place.

It's America's drunk driving capital.

The other Santarpios is there.

There's like a lot of stuff on Route 1.

Santarpios Pizza, we all went with a, we had a lovely time when we were in Boston.

Did you get the East Boston one?

Is that what it is?

Yes, yeah, yeah.

And he loved it.

Oh, I loved it.

Yeah.

I was going to ask you, did you worked at the comedy collection there in Infinity Hall, which is now closed, right?

Yes, it closed.

Yeah, it was basically like 400, 450 seats.

Big comedy club.

This is like when you could make a living like going up and down Cape Cod in order.

You can make not only a living, but you could become rich and famous.

Totally ambushing drugs.

But that's that's the thing.

You hear like the story from Dick Dougherty, was it right?

Yeah, you hear that story, and it's just like, yeah, there was a time when that could be a living.

I actually believe him.

I believe that the agent.

Totally.

And it feels like a Catskills Borschbelt.

Like, oh, there's this circuit for this kind of performing.

He did.

And he was, I should say, was sober for many years

before he passed away.

So it's like, you know, I wasn't like, ah, this fucking drunk.

Yeah, sure.

But he, but yeah, it's that kind of thing where it was like, oh, there.

And New England is still in some ways like a closed circuit for comedy.

Like when I started there,

they didn't, other than the comedy connection, didn't bring in a bunch of, there were a bunch of clubs in the city that were like the same roster of local headliners, many of whom are really, really wonderful.

And then some you're kind of like, oh, this, this person is still doing that kind of like old school.

Sure.

Steve Sweeney is still like the very local

stand-up guy.

He's like a guy who like does radio stuff and like will go and do like any sort of like banquet or whatever in Massachusetts.

When I saw Santa, when I met Sandler after Righteous Gems, one one of my favorite things.

I thought you said when I met Santa for a second.

Nice to meet you.

I would love, love to see you break to an adult man than Santa is in real life.

When I met Sandler after Righteous Gem, meeting Santa is another story,

he was, I was like, I'm from Quincy.

And then he was like, oh, they got this place here.

And I didn't, I was like, yeah.

And I just was like saying yes because I was nervous and trying to make the conversation short and just make Sandler like me.

But he was basically seeing the Beach Comber, which is a bar in Quincy.

I was like, I can't believe Adam Sandler played the Beach Comer, which is now closed.

Just a tiny little shitty club in Quincy, Massachusetts, right where we got fried clams, Wags.

He was doing a stand-up.

I always go see this comedian, Bob Marley.

The king of Maine.

Yes, he's a huge Maine comedian.

His comedy is so New England-specific, but it will get New Englanders pissing their pants.

He has a kiosk, or used to at at least, in the Maine mall that just sold his merch and his records.

Wow.

Like, that's how big he is in Maine.

And he's toured other places too, but like, he has like 10 hours just about Maine.

It's so, so specific.

Yeah, it's, I mean,

would you hate it?

Probably is my guess.

I don't think you would like any, it's like very local, but you know, I think I wouldn't understand it, but I think it's special.

It's like, it's really fascinating that just he's, he's like, yeah, I'm, I'm the king of, of this region.

And like, there's so many people.

Like, Tony V is a Boston.

He's so funny.

And he's still a guy that I like talk to for like stand-ups.

You know, like I, I would still reach out to him for like advice with stand-up stuff.

He's just like the funniest, best guy.

Yeah.

Okay.

You mentioned

you had a mic in Boston.

And we have to bring this up, which is that you have a connection with the writer of Doughboys the comic book available now, berkids.com, which was written by Alex Fearer.

Alex Fearer was doing your mic.

Yeah, he would do that

due time on that open mic.

He just has like from that time years ago.

I think he was still in college.

He was super young.

Super young.

And like his comedic sensibility was like so clear.

He has like that old-timey sensibility where I always tease him because like everything I've read that he's written, he uses the word stinky in.

And I'm just like, that's like a vaudeville outside.

That's why he works with the doughboys.

They did do last call on the bathroom here before the podcast started.

Like, you're going to want want to get here before the dumb boys get here.

No, yeah, he's like a coked-up Buster Keaton.

He's great.

He's so sweet and so funny.

And yeah, like it was cool to

see him with this, like the

prototype of his current comedic voice and stuff.

It's like, it's so nice.

And it's great to see people from that era thriving.

And I like also have the.

I'd say coked up Buster Bunny.

character.

Alex, you're you're Roger Rabbit-esque in many ways.

I think he will take that as a compliment.

I don't think you, I don't think, I don't think he will be upset by that comparison.

He'll send us a very nice eight-paragraph text.

But it's fun because I hosted that mic for a while.

And there's like people that are, that are doing really fun, cool stuff now that are like, oh, you hosted the first show I ever did.

And I'm like, great, you'll be impressed with me no matter how bad I'm doing because I was like a slightly working comic when you were 19.

I'm going to put you on the spot with this ask,

but Alex is spoken so highly of you.

He is

such a fan of yours.

He's so happy to know you.

He would love to give you a rendering in a future issue of the Dough Boys comic book.

Would you be willing to do that?

Would you willing to have your likeness appear in the printed pages of the page?

If it does not ruin the comic book for you guys, it will ruin the comic book.

It will make him very happy.

It will ruin the comic book.

It will make him happy.

I mean, like, we might as well just throw it out the window.

People just reading it like, ooh, they're in the trash.

Well, now they can, now they can specifically look for this.

You're seeing a moment in the comic book, which we have not.

We've only written one issue.

It's true.

Well, two is a very simple thing.

Yeah, we've only written one.

You and I, just like looking at Google.

I'm like, oh, that looks pretty good.

Good job, Alex.

Good job, Fred.

Hold down, thumbs up emotion.

We work hard.

They do, they do the majority of the great job.

Yeah.

Yes, it would be, it would be really fun.

We'd of course love to have you.

That'd be amazing.

He's going to love that.

He's going to go,

you'll see a lot of,

you're going to see a gigantic email coming your way.

I did, by the way, I did

when I did Hidden America with Jonah Ray, the CISO show.

Rest in Peace, Ciso.

There was like a flicker where I was like, oh no, did something happen to Jonah?

Oh, no, Jonah is fine.

Jonah, sorry.

Sorry to announce your death.

Jonah is fine.

Jonah is fine.

I saw him last September.

We went around and

we shot at a couple comedy clubs,

but with Kevin Meany,

who was a Boston stand-up for a long time and has passed away.

Rest in peace, Kevin Meany.

Very, very funny guy.

From

the 80s comic boom.

I feel like he he was a big part of it where Boston was like that was the the hub the 80s comic boom but like I think Bobcat was there right like Janine Garage

David Cross who records in this very studio Marin yeah um yeah it was it's I like Fat Ranch East was over there wow

I feel so um like indebted to the Boston company legacy did you ever watch that movie when stand-up stood out yes I loved it it's like a really fun documentary a lot of it is about I think it starts with Kevin Meany does it yeah does it not like isn't he doing a report or like on the street stuff I might be be right.

I think you're right.

And there's a lot of good Steve Steven Wright.

Yeah.

The funniest.

The guy on the couch from Half Baked for

to make the reference slightly closer to now.

I guess like I don't know if young people have seen Half Baked.

The Radio Voice and Reservoir Dogs.

Oh, yeah.

It's also true.

Yeah.

It's, I like him such a, and then even the like, the, the people working now, though, I'm like, oh, Gary Gullman and Mike Burbiglia.

I'm like, oh, this is like

cool.

But

I like really love that legacy, the Boston Standup legacy.

Mike Mitchell.

Mike Mitchell.

Who?

Let's

go.

No, no, I mean, it's the right way to do it.

And also, I think people in Boston would specifically say who.

And also, I never did any comedy in Boston.

It's also so funny, too, because

I love Boston.

I love visiting.

My family's still there.

But it is the kind of thing where it's like,

fuck you, fuck.

Like the people, there's the local, I feel like there's so much like apathy towards the local scene at times where it's like, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

And then you're like, but I'm Aerosmith now.

And like, we always fucking loved you, kid.

Once you make it, once you, yeah.

Yeah.

What's what is what's the what's the other big place near near the north end where I know this

is improv asylum?

Improv asylum.

Yeah, that's the other that's a lot of a lot of young comedy people improv asylum.

Yeah.

Anyway, sounds like the where the

Joker belongs.

Take that out.

Just take that part.

No, no, no, that's good.

Take that out of the episode.

I'll give you a Lexa Lexa Pro.

Give me a location where I got that smile.

I got the scars.

I liked that.

The Joker is at the improv asylum.

I think that's funny.

Let's talk.

You like it.

See, you didn't do this for me.

I liked it.

Thank you, Mitch.

We'll take it out.

No.

I want to talk about Boston.

Let me do it.

Improv Asylum sounds like a place the Joker would stay.

God, I'd love to see the Joker's improv show.

He'd be like, all I need to start is a location where I got these scars.

I know.

You're trying to make that joke happen.

Keep mine in, actually.

Fuck.

I'm going to look like a fucking hack.

Put it after Mitch's.

So it looks like Vigor's trying to do Mitch's one.

But keep only the good one that I did, not the bad one.

Let's talk Boston Eats a little bit.

Love it.

So, okay, we're going to get into pizza.

We're at the improvison.

We're not far from Regino.

I just want to say that.

That's true.

Pizzeria Regina, which I have enjoyed.

I've enjoyed Santarpio's.

Do you have any favorites among Boston?

Amelia gives it a big thumbs up.

There's Papa Genos is out there, too.

She does not like improv talk.

That includes that night at Regina.

Let's not speak of that night.

Amelia had a couple drinks, and let's just say she was speaking freely that night.

That's why she erased all those notes.

Yeah.

She was losing her.

Covering the thrills.

But you did.

You liked.

I was happy that Regina, I thought the cheese pizza was already cooked when we were there, but obviously, Regina is the big one.

You've been to the North End Regina before, yes, of course.

And it's fantastic, of course.

I will sometimes, even when I take the train up from New York, I'll get a slice at the South Station, Regina's, which is

like a little outpost, but I'm like, ah, that's pretty good for like train station food.

I like that.

Somebody feed Phil, somebody feed Phil.

Everybody, Phil's hungry.

Phil Rosenthal's show, I got mad at him because he was eating at,

he was like, Pizzeria, Regina, and he just did it recently.

And he was at the fanuel hall location you're so close to the fucking north end location phil

that's going to be the grand central market in la and being like here's a full review of this place yeah you there's there's there's there's the original location is is is like a not even a 10-minute walk he's so well a little 10 minute walk at least but like it's so close there maybe it was a maybe it was a production issue maybe that this is giving you know giving the benefit of the doubt maybe they were like well we can't have you shoot at the original but you can't let Let me just say, there'll be just as many thin blue line flags in that

Italian establishment.

Oh, I love that thin blue line.

That thin blue line.

I wish it was red or green or white, but I like it.

They do a thin blue crust pizza.

So we have

that, Santarpio's in East Boston.

And then there are a couple other good slices around, but what do you what?

There was a great pizza spot.

There still is, right, right around the corner from where I grew up.

And the, the owner, when I would come in, I would order, like my sister and I would split a little pizza when my, when my family would order pizza, and we'd walk, my, uh, my dad and I would walk and bring the pizzas back.

And I would always order, I don't know, I don't think I told this on the show before, but uh.

I would order the meatball and all the pizza and my sister would get plain cheese and they would know that it was us from the, because nobody else ordered that combination.

And so I'd walk with my dad and the owner, Sal, would always very generously have a meatball and a little and a little sauce and a like a to-go Tupperware for me.

And he would go, a meatball for the boy.

Wow.

It was the best.

Add it.

That's awesome.

Love it.

But my favorite, like, I mean, I'm a big Duncan guy,

but also

I was back in Massachusetts

with Maris for her Boston book event.

I interviewed her, really held her feet to the fire.

Just really grilled her.

And we went to Anna's Tuckeria in Porter Square, which is great.

Yeah, yeah.

Which we have, we, we, no, we've not reviewed it.

Oh, we never reviewed it.

Yeah, and I've never met it.

It's always on the list of things to review, but something's always gone ahead of it.

So you have had it.

We don't have it.

We had it for lunch before a show once, didn't we?

Did we?

I think we did.

I don't remember this.

If we did, I don't remember it.

Anas is great, but like I, it's funny because my dad would like eat, I think my dad would eat Anas every day.

My dad took me to,

oh my God, my favorite sandwich place.

D'Angelos.

No, I love D'Angelo's.

Love D'Angelo.

In Boston, they're near.

Oh, God.

It's near the Commons.

It is called.

I'll figure out.

I'll figure out what it is.

But my Fajitas and Rita's.

My dad would take us to the best.

I love Fajitas and Rita's.

Wait, what's Fajitas and Rita's?

Fajitas and Margaritas.

Is that still there?

Big fat ones?

I don't know.

It wasn't what I was doing.

Was that in the transportation building or no?

No, that was like up towards Suffolk, like off the commons.

Yeah, on like a little side street.

And it was just a place that we all, the second you turned 21, it was like an honor to go sit at Fajita's and Ritas and just like drown in a margarita.

Yeah, it's great.

It sounds like bad and good.

Yeah.

Like I bet like objectively, the food is not.

It's a great place to sit and get trash on margaritas and just like eat chips and guac and stuff.

Right.

It's so fun.

My dad would get a like a just a white rice and chicken.

My dad was much healthier than I.

It's burrito, no cheese, just like white rice and chicken and maybe beans.

And then a turkey sandwich.

He would eat that every day.

He was, he would always just have the same lunch all the time.

And it was Anna's, but I didn't go to school in Boston.

And so, like, my Anna's taqueria experience, Ana's or Anna's?

Anna's, right?

I think it's Anna.

I don't know.

We had a Maria.

Maria's taqueria was like right on Emerson's campus, which is like, so that was my go-to taqueria place.

So when people have an affinity for Anna's, I'm like, I was at Maria's while everybody else was at Anna's.

And there's Felipe's now in Cambridge.

Was the sandwich place you're trying to remember in the transportation building?

No, it's Sam LaGrosse's.

Oh, okay.

Sam LaGrosse's has, they're some of the best sandwiches in Boston.

I was going to look up whether it was Ana or Anna, but I opened up my browser and I still had a tab of a hot grunt.

Hey, now, wait a minute.

That's a different hot grunt.

Oh, yeah, this is an artist's fan art.

And I'm liking that too.

You're a FanArt fan.

I might be doing some Rule 23 Grunty searching later.

Rule 23.

Oh, fuck.

Rule 34.

Yeah, I don't know what 23 came from.

Paul Pierce's number, Rule 34.

That's the truth.

The truth.

One of my best friends,

who is a really funny comedy writer, my buddy Jason Marcus, he this morning, I think, sent me like a pop video of Paul Pierce being like, they were like showing him different people.

They were like,

was your game better than this guy?

And he was like, yes, to like all of them.

And I was like, I just love, I love that attitude.

I love that man.

Paul Pierce gets way too much shit because here's the other thing, Wags.

Paul Pierce was genuine.

He was genuinely good.

Yeah.

He was a great basketball.

Hall of Famer.

And he should be.

And from

L.A.

I have a lot of

affection for Paul Pierce.

He should be in that conversation with a lot of those guys.

and he's not.

And he has the confidence.

Look,

he has the confidence.

Some would say he has too much confidence about it.

But I like it.

He's an Inglewood guy.

Well, I just came from Inglewood.

He went to high school in Inglewood.

Mitch, I think this is some Photoshop-enhanced cosplay you might appreciate of the game over screen.

You know what?

Maybe I should just get to meet this lady.

I think audio listeners, Mitch has gotten up and left the studio.

Anna's cloud of dust behind this.

You know what?

It's two N's, so it could very well be Anna's.

I think it is Anna's takery.

I don't know why I started checking.

I think I said Anna's, but like, I don't know why I said that specifically.

And you know how it is.

We all get scared because Boston people are just going to yell at us.

It's so, yeah, it's brutal.

I know that firsthand.

All right, just delete all the notes.

I just want to give a shout out to Ernesto's Pizza in the North End.

I like Ernesto's.

Did you pick out that sandwich spot?

It'll Sam La Grasse's.

Okay.

You got to try Sam La Grasse's last time.

I can't believe you haven't had Sam LaGrass's.

And Kowloon.

Those will be the next things that we can do.

Kowloon is so, it's such a blast.

It's really fun.

Sounds like my kind of spot.

It is

funny.

Yeah, we're gone.

Oh, I was going to say,

there's a place in Quincy that is Cathay Pacific, that is like a much shittier version of Kowloon.

But you would, I think you would honestly would fucking love it.

You took me to the China in Quincy, which I think was a similar sort of experience.

The China is a newer version of it.

Like Cathay Pacific, you'll get like older weirdos karaoke there every night.

Right.

You would love it.

It's a, you know, we've dumbly built this country around a personal operation of the automobile and all our infrastructure is like, is like roads you have to drive on.

And then there's the, you hear about a place like

Calhoun and it's just like...

Oh, yeah, so much of our economy is reliant on drunk driving.

We just have like normalized, like people, you have to drive someplace, get fucked up, probably be over the legal limit, and then get your car home safely.

I will not name this person.

This is years and years ago, but I opened for a much older headliner.

This is 2009.

And he showed up with a large Duncan iced coffee cup with visibly not iced coffee in it.

And the manager was like, what is that?

And he was like, Black Russian.

And she like half full of black Russian.

Oh, my God.

And she goes,

She goes, we have booze here.

And he goes, yeah, I was working somewhere else a couple of weeks ago.

They say they don't like when I drink so now I don't take chances

Jesus that's

this was in Boston this was at the cow

that makes sense

uh Ernesto Ernesto's great slice of pizza on the north end and then Galleria Umberto which uh is like you can get uh Arancini's and stuff there but they have a little square size that's very good but when I was a boy I went to children Boston Children's Hospital because I was losing sight in one eye I almost went blind in one of my eyes and uh

I've said this before.

Yeah, I almost went blind in one of my eyes.

They didn't know what was wrong.

They didn't know what was wrong with me.

And then it turned out that I was almost going blind in one eye.

I couldn't see anything.

But my mom took me to get a big slice of pizza.

And I think it was at Ernesto's because they have like a giant, giant slices of pizza.

And it was like

a memory that will never leave me.

And a thing that, like, it's, it's my happiest memory.

Being in the car with my mom and having like this,

like a slice of pizza, this big, a big slice of cheese pizza.

And it was delicious, Wags.

Yeah.

How about that?

I mean, right after they told you you were losing your eyesight?

I mean, I didn't care.

I mean, I think they were lying to me.

And I think it was probably right after they told me how to wear an eye patch for a year or whatever.

But, you know, you know, those young food memories that just never escape you.

No, yeah, I know what you mean.

That was, that, that for me is, and the first time I tried Buffalo Fingers, I remember in my, in my head, too.

When was that?

Down Cape Cod at, and there's, there's a, there was a bar that like had them kind of early, and I'm going to remember the name of it.

Yeah, I just found out I was going to lose the use of one leg

Diabetes.

The one I think was because you jack halfway off.

Just one side of your dick.

We had, this is,

my friend, a childhood friend, would, like, this was like when we were 10 and we knew that there was such a thing as masturbating, but like didn't know the mechanics of it at all.

We, like, instead of this, because like this wasn't a thing we'd seen as like, oh yeah, whatever.

I had a friend that started like this, like you're starting a fire.

And so that's how our whole friend group of 10-year-olds was like, what are you doing in there?

Like moving an open palm backwards and forwards, like rubbing sticks together on a fire.

And it's, we did that for like until someone was like, guys, I got some news.

There's a new way.

You know, I think the name just came back to me, but I'm not sure.

Is it Bobby Burns or something like that?

I don't know.

That's the place in the cape with the Buffalo tenders.

The first time I ever had Buffalo Wings.

Oh, Buffalo Wings.

Yeah.

I just remember the bite.

I remember

we did the wings at Ye Rustic Inn, too, while we were in town, which is great.

What did you think?

How fun is that?

It's great.

It was last.

Those were Maris's after party was for the book event.

So you, you've, you know, you were in Boston, but now you're in the city that never sleeps.

So, yeah, home of the slice, New York City.

Do you have any favorites?

Some may call that sell-out behavior going to New York.

Not L.A.

Yeah, I was going to say.

Not L.A., New York City.

I will tell you, I bet you feel the same way.

A pet peeve of mine is when someone moves, especially from Boston, but from anywhere to New York or LA and is like, like Yankees hat 24-7 then.

And I'm just, or like, same, same, honestly, with the Lakers.

And I get like, you live a place and you adopt it, but it's like you land at the airport, you buy the Mets hat at the airport before you leave.

And you're like, I live here now.

And I'm a Celtics fan.

So I say, fuck you to all of you.

I don't care.

I don't care.

You know, the thing that's harder for me is being a Red Sox fan.

And baseball used to be my number one sport.

And also the Dodgers are so good.

Yeah.

And we've given, you know, we've, we basically gave mookie bets to the Dodgers, and now they're like winning.

And the Red Sox have been shitty, and it's just harder to watch them.

And I want to adopt the Dodgers in my second team, but I can't ever.

Red Sox will always be one.

And then I just like don't care that much about Dodgers.

And as a result, I don't watch baseball anymore.

Yeah, the Red Sox have been, it's been a tough couple seasons.

I wear, I get a new Red Sox hat basically every year.

Like Like I sweat through Lola, like a big, sweaty, bald head.

Sure.

Thank you.

And so I get a fresh hat.

I'm like beginning of the season.

And I used to live uptown.

I used to live in Harlem.

And it was a little more.

contentious with people.

I think I live in a neighborhood with a few more transplants as I am one myself.

Yeah, sure.

And so there's less like homegrown, like Yankees forever.

But I got it the other day and like couldn't figure out what was happening because I just walked down the street and a guy went, we're going to get you today.

And he was like pointing my hat and I was like, oh, right.

And he's like, oh, good.

And he was like, wow, the Red Sox are sweeping the Yankees right before they traded Raphael Devers.

And I, but I was like, I was like, you know, I like our chances.

And he was like, no, we're going to get you.

And I was like, okay.

Wager and I were just talking about how sports, like sports ownership has gone out of this like, like, like phase of, oh, it's like these like billionaire rich people that own them to now like corporations.

It's like now.

yeah it was it was a family thing where like the like this was like a uh and not even that these were good people the owners are always pieces of shit um that that's one of the you know the things you just have to to accept when you're you're rooting for a sports team but like there was a time you're against you're against clipboards fans because you don't think they should have got rid of donald sterling

uh they they like like the owners used to be like there was a time when it was like a family business and like the family would own this and this would be like their main source of revenue then it became a thing where like now, then it was hobbyist billionaires where it's like they're, now they're on the team.

Now it's so big that it has to be like a sovereign wealth fund owned.

It has to be like a like a, you know, like a hedge fund and a bunch of trustees like allying together.

I'm, I'm so stupid about money and I don't care to know about it.

But when I'm like, when they're like, oh, yeah, we have to have like a sovereign wealth fund to purchase the Lakers or whatever.

I'm like, maybe it just shouldn't cost that much.

Right.

Like, can we, is there something we could do so that it costs an amount of money people can have maybe yeah maybe you shouldn't be allowed to buy it that way maybe that should be but you know whatever

look wick grossbeck seems like a nice guy didn't he sell the team he did he did yeah but he seemed like he wanted he was the one that wanted to keep it i my one new york team is because there was no massachusetts w nba team the closest connecticut which is not the same um i claimed the liberty when they moved back to the city for

up in westchester and that's been a really fun few years too what a really fun team just won a title Just won a title.

Celtics and Liberty.

I was two titles, Josh, for a while.

I claim both personally.

Who's the elephant that stomps?

Ellie, the elephant.

Yeah, a lot of fun.

Horny.

Incredible mascot.

Yeah, a horny mascot.

Horny?

Yeah, she does like dance.

She does some dances that are pretty horny.

Doesn't she?

Let me see if I can look her up.

Is twerking horny?

I can't tell if twerking is horny.

Doesn't she kind of like do a twerk or something?

It's a little horny.

Yeah.

Okay.

I mean, you're shaking your ass at somebody.

There's some ass shaking.

I did find a video of her dancing.

There she goes.

I do not like that this exists.

I do like that that exists.

She does

towards the end of the game, they do the Ellie stomp where all the backup dancers are dancing with her, and then she stomps and they all fly back like she shook the ground with her big stomp.

That's fine.

All right, maybe it's not that horny.

I'm not sure.

That's not the only order.

She does a little jerk in.

Okay, all right.

Yeah, it's a great mascot.

Yeah, a lot of fun.

A lot of fun.

Do you think I'm committed to being an Angelino?

I think so.

I've been here for 20 years.

I think so.

I'm like, yeah, no,

I love the city, anyways.

I can't believe fucking Kohl's is shutting down.

Kohl's, which is one of the two places in LA, one of the two institutions that claims to have invented the French dips sandwich along with Philippe's.

Go while you're here.

I've just been.

Kohl's great.

French dips and discount pants.

RIP2, a place that can do it all.

Kohl's is like over 100 years old, just like one of these things in the city that's like, you know, like historical, cool to go in there.

The food is great.

The area, I think, is just a lot of people, there's not a lot of traffic there anymore.

I don't know what the deal is, but they're closing it.

It's just a fucking another place, another fucking bummer.

Yeah, Papa Christos, a Greek place recently shut down, another place that's just been there forever.

The diner, what's it called?

The

oh yeah and in downtown that was owned by uh mayor reardon back in the day why can i not pull the name right

um pantry the pantry yeah it's just it's just yeah it's it's three and and whatever fine but like

yeah it's these are places that you you you kind of wish could still could stick around forever because they feel like such institutions such as a part of the city and then just to know they're going to be bulldozed and they're going to put in like a five over one like like you know luxury condos with with a street level sweet green and a yoga works you know it's just i i'm with you on that because i'm not a person that's like nothing old should ever go away right right right i am just like

i mean that's a bostony thing i mean it's so boston i mean i mean like it is that sort of thing of like hey there's cool old hundred years old building i mean like i guess at some point some of that stuff structurally like to go away some of it i'm with you too like the green monster could like tip over and kill 80 people and i'd still be like but you can't close fenway back

they almost they they almost put the they almost put fenway in southie at one point.

Like that was the talk at one point to like build a stadium and a baseball park in Southey.

And it was like, that would have sucked.

And they were like, we got to keep it though.

Still, they can never, now they'll never, ever, ever get it.

Like, we're going to put it in a big truck.

We'll move it to Southeast.

But it did, it does feel like lately, especially, so much stuff gets replaced with stuff that is like objectively worse.

Right, for sure.

Yeah, where it's just like, oh, it's, it's a, why do they have a seven-story Chase Bank ATM?

Like, how does that exist?

And why do they, like, it was a historical monument?

And then whatever, they they bulldozed in and we're like oh, it's the fucking worst on our block There's a where the block of the studio there's a there's an oak berry which we've been to and was like it sucks It's bad.

It's a bad acaibles place, but it's like expanding wildly and it's the sort of thing of just like again You see one of those things that's that's just it's it's it's

they're apartments, but they're too expensive for people who need housing to actually afford them.

They're priced like, you know, over market rate.

They're geared towards a

luxury,

you know, at a luxury price point for that.

There just aren't enough people to fill all these luxury apartments.

Um, but then at the street level, it's just like it's you'd see a place like a fucking oak berry, it's just like no one even likes this place, yeah, sure.

And it's just what's there, yeah, like people, but people are always there.

It's like you because there's nothing else, yeah, throw away everything else, and not to be a hypocrite, but I like the handles that they put in the bottom of one.

I mean, we like the handles, we can't complain about the handles.

Speaking of handles, Paul Pierce is a hall of family.

You ever have a handles ice cream?

No, I heard you talk about it.

I like there in New York.

Yeah, I should go while I'm out here.

That's what I'll do.

A lot of fun.

Wifeless.

Also, the Vista Theater, which is a place that Quentin Tarantino saved.

It's playing Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs, double feature right there.

That feels like insider trading to me.

If you want to go and check it out,

that is true.

It's playing all his movies this month.

But I love that they saved that.

Why?

Because the Arc Light we've talked about, which I think there's been some motion on saving it, but there's a lot of places I've gone down.

I just want to say quickly,

Bobby Burns, by r n e s that's the first place i had wings neil kiley shout out thank you for that um but uh bobby burns the first place i've bid into uh buffalo wing

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Do it.

Wags, we got to get to the restaurant.

Let's talk about little stuff.

I just want to say, it's our first Doughboys after dark.

How so?

Because we're doing, this is the first later record we're doing.

It's not after.

It's still light out.

I can't tell from here.

I don't know.

Well, it's after dark because Mitch ordered a little Caesar's hot and grunty pizza.

I thought it would be fun to theme.

I think when we were recording later, it should be Dough Boys After Dark.

Okay, sure.

Can we get out of there?

I did have that thought today when I was on our hike this morning.

I was like, oh, it's Dough Boys After Dark.

Dough Boys After Dark.

Sometimes we generally would record in the middle of the day, but yeah, we're recording in the late afternoon.

Can there be like a cooler theme song?

There's nothing cooler than Cassie's theme song, but like a little like,

yeah.

Just you singing careless whispers.

Maybe.

I don't know.

That might be a pretty good theme song.

I would like to ask.

You can clip that and use it.

Make it sound better.

I don't know.

I think because this is going to be a thing we're going to be doing more often, we should not do a different theme song.

I think it's going to disorient people.

But yes, if you want to designate it Dough Boys After Dark, it is Dough Boys After Dark.

I like how

you're making the sound of a trumpet, which is a saxophone in the song, and then you're pantomiming a guitar.

All right, we'll cut that out.

We are returning to Little Caesars for the second time this year because of the fantastic four meal.

We covered Little Caesars in January with John O.

Wilson, an episode we actually recorded last year, so it feels longer ago than it was.

But that was, I believe, maybe the first new Dough Boys of this year.

The Fantastic Four pizza felt like an occasion for a quick revisit, a quick little pizza.

Love John O'.

That's funny.

I knew that it was recent that we went here, but this is a brand new pizza.

We got to try it.

It's a brand new pizza.

I'm also closer to Dough Boys items, too, by the way.

But go on.

This is also an interesting bit of synergy because, you know, last week we revisited Pizza Hut with Neil and Mitra.

This year,

or this week, rather, we're talking about Little Caesars.

Next week, we're going to Papa John's, we can say.

So

it's a one, two, three.

The Pizza and Pizza episode just came out on Patreon.

That's true.

It was a pizza fucking month.

That's true.

But in the main feed, it's three of the big four, three of the big four pizza chains.

That's fucking wild.

Just absent dominoes, which we love.

Where do you stand on your Pizza?

What was the Papa John's episode?

We just didn't.

I don't remember.

It's coming out next week.

Oh, wait.

Oh, right.

Oh, wait.

So the whole thing I just said

is an episode.

It's the next episode.

No, that episode already came out.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

I almost wore a shirt.

What is this face you're making?

I almost wore a shirt that would have been weird.

Is that a Doughboys after dark?

They're just like, I can't see you.

It's after dark.

I almost wore a shirt that would have made it weird with the next week's episode.

We'll talk.

I'll tie it off.

Wait, tell me.

Oh, can I say it?

You can just cut it out.

But I had my,

I brought my chariot.

Hell yeah.

Hell yeah.

I know.

That's the you just connected the permissions now.

But

I heard last night through the grapevine that

yeah.

He's a fun fest.

He's great.

Yeah.

It was, it was a fun.

It was a fun episode.

Fun episode out next week.

A lot of, so it was, I mean, do we just, is every episode pizza?

Oh, no.

No, it's not.

No.

There's a new twisted metal trailer tomorrow.

How exciting is that?

You made as of this recording, we'll have to go back.

out now, so it's perfect.

The new Twist trailer is out now.

Yeah,

getting close to

the release, Wages.

All right, so we're very excited about that.

Coming in July 31st, correct?

That's correct, yeah.

So

plugging mid-show.

Sorry, let's go.

We're talking Little Caesars.

Where do you stay?

Like, you got the big four, you got the Mount Rushmore of American Pizza Chains.

I know you got access to the best, you know, the best, a lot of the best pizza in America in New York, but like, if you are going to paint chain pizzeria, Domino's, uh, Pizza Hut, Papa John's, Little Caesar's, what's your pick?

Okay,

so I live closest to a Domino's, and once a year, uh, Maris, who's not a big pizza eater because the carbs in it are really weird, blood sugar, will be coming back from a party, and she'll be like, I'm a little hungry.

And I'll be like, is it the Domino's night?

And she'll be like, yeah, and we'll order from the dominoes, and that's always such a treat.

My

good friend, Allison Leiby, and I, we have gone to this Papa John's because it is near a venue where we co-host a show.

And we were walking out and we saw Papa John's, which we call Taking the PJ.

And we, really, it was late at night, and we were like, we were both pretty drunk.

And we're like, can we each get a slice?

And the guy goes, I got a whole pizza bag here.

I'll give it to you for like eight bucks.

And we were like, okay, it was the middle of winter.

And we were like, okay.

And then we ate the whole pizza in a Papa John's.

It's like just storefront bulletproof glass,

one metal stanchion.

And we just like, people were coming in to like pick up pizzas to go just saw us being animals.

they're just they're just pick up their their little their kiosks now basically delco is the is the portmanteau delivery and carry oh interesting design

we did delco mount down

we just fucking went ham in the in the papa john's which i and then we woke i woke up the next morning and was like i feel bad and also are they on the bds uh boycott list oh sure oh sure yeah i mean this is all the answer is yes

everything is showboys is doing a tour of every every company that's on the bds list.

We're doing a soda stream episode.

It's BDS June here on the Dough Boys podcast.

Reverse boycott.

That's always the funniest to you when there's like a legit, I mean, not like this situation, obviously, but when there's like a legitimate boycott of like, hey, we're not going to Target because they got rid of their DEI.

And then like one guy is like, I'm going and I'm buying all their shirts that aren't gay.

And you're like, what is that?

Yeah, that's insane.

That'll show us.

Yeah.

Okay.

My question to you is, as a New Yorker, is like, I feel like Griffin Newman is someone who gets dominoes quite a bit, right?

Like, but is dominoes, I actually mean Griffin Newman can't exactly be the arbiter of

what good food is.

I agree with that.

But Griffin, you may be knowing the answer to this, but is dominoes, like, I'm sure dominoes are also like very popular in New York City.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I've just, I could never see myself eating as much dominoes.

It would probably be my local pizza place that I would eat at.

And that's it, too.

Like, there's a couple places in the neighborhood that I'll do a pie or slice.

There's a place called Norm's not too far from me in Brooklyn that does like real great.

They have very few options, but they're all like classic good grape pies.

Like

sausage or pepperoni.

Great.

Can you give your top three pizza spots non-chain in New York quickly?

Sorry.

You know, it's all just like I, someone, oh, my friend Ashley Hamilton just did this as a, sorry to buzz market subway takes, but a subway takes of like, it's just the good place that's closest to your apartment.

And that's kind of how I feel.

But like the other one, the classic one is like Joe's pizza is right by the comedy cellar.

Sure.

Yeah.

And so that's it.

I've had that exact one.

Yeah.

And I'll go there every once in a while too.

And that's kind of like the one I'll seek out.

But Norm's is great.

There's like a new understanding of the way you eat Joe's is you take like one bite and then you throw it in the trash

with a paper plate.

That is, that's a different place.

I think that's Ben's, but that is a traditional New York place.

You take one bite of the tip, you throw it away.

Yeah.

Thank you, Louie.

Wait, you were going to say a new place?

I think, yeah, there's a new, there's, well, there was a Detroit-style place that was open for about four months months in my neighborhood that closed because they were trafficking cocaine in the back of it.

Oh, my God.

So I never got to try it.

The pizza.

Yeah.

I also didn't try the cocaine.

There's now a Joe's out here, and I get it.

I'll sometimes get that.

It's pretty good.

But also, if you want Domino's, you want Domino's.

We talked about that.

Yeah, there's one in Harvard Square too now.

Oh, Joe's.

Oh, damn.

All right.

Yeah, they really, they're chaining out.

Yeah.

And the autos all around there now, too.

It's so funny because

autos, there's the

Connecticut, the, what's it called?

Sally's.

Sally's a Pete's is they're like opening everywhere now, too.

It's like a lot of these places that were classics are like

trying to turn into national chains, or at least

spreading their wings, I guess.

That's why I wondered, did they partner with a franchising company with Fran Smart or something like that?

Fran Smart is what took Halal Guys from being a local New York thing to trying to make it nationwide, and it just way overexpanded way too quick.

But yeah, they're these companies that exist now.

Again, it's like how, you know, it's called Fran Smart?

Fran Smart.

Yeah, they're one of the, they're a major franchising company.

What they do is they look for local, they look for local chains or local individual restaurants that are, you know, popular and are like, how can we scale this up rapidly and turn this into a national brand?

How can we take a thing that people in one city love and turn it into a thing that everyone in America thinks sucks?

Yeah, it's exactly it.

And it's a really, it's just a, it's one of those things where it's like a, a profitable business model, but it's just another of the things that's kind of just smoothing out anything interesting and eroding the fran smart is what I think about our good friend Fran Gillespie.

Fran Smart.

She'd love to hear that.

She is.

Should clip this out and send it to her.

Make her day.

We love our Fran.

We love our Franny.

Fran Smart.

It kind of bums me out to try some of these bigger

these fan favorites or local places or whatever, and then like trying to turn them into like chains.

I know Pizzeria Regina did try that kind of, and then they slowed down.

I like going to a place and being like, oh, this is like a special thing that I can get when I'm here.

Yes, yeah.

We were talking about dominoes in New York City.

I feel like the

time that I first noticed a chain scaling way up and then just kind of getting their ass kicked was like when there started being crispy, they started opening crispy creams in Austin.

Oh, yeah.

And everyone was like, We will never go here.

Yeah, it's just never dunkies.

It did not, it didn't fucking work.

They beat it back like the red coats.

It just didn't.

It didn't.

Dunky, we're just dunking loyalty.

There are, are, I mean, there are just certain territories that are very, you know,

fond of their particular local donut shop.

I mean, the same thing happened with Shipley Donuts

in Texas when they tried to expand Krispie Kreme there.

It was not, not super successful.

Beat back the tide.

And then I guess Little Caesars has always been kind of like a wild card to me.

I've never had that much access to it.

And then what's the other thing?

Pizza Hut?

I think Pizza Hut is like, eh.

Pizza Hut, we have a lot of people.

We think Pizza Hut has gone down the tubes.

Nick and I have, I didn't have a lot of access to Little Caesars either.

It's not a huge Massachusetts chain.

It's not.

But we had the ads.

Yes, 100%.

That and Red Lobster and Sonic.

The ads were there well beyond the representation of the restaurant.

Can I guess that Route 1 probably had at least one of these at one point?

I'm sure that they did.

The Sonic and Route 1, the ads had been going for so many years that when they opened the Sonic, it was like traffic for weeks.

Yeah, onto a highway.

Onto a highway.

It was just like a whole lane, a two-lane highway

you know, two lanes in each direction, full lane, just like, we got to get hot, dogs.

But I'm sure that I'm sure there was either a Little Caesars near Route 1 or something at one point.

But it's like always on the outskirtskirts.

Red lobster, same thing, because you're in lobster country.

Why are you going to need a red lobster?

Sure.

There is like a couple of them in Massachusetts.

I think there was at one point.

I'm not sure if there was anything.

Nothing close to I grew up.

No, no, same.

Yeah.

So, so I didn't know Little Caesars that well, but anytime I had it, I liked it.

And then

I think Little Caesars does a damn good job.

It's like a cheap price point, but I also think the taste is there.

I like it.

I love, I love Little Caesars.

We used to sell the frozen Little Caesars pizzas as fundraisers in school.

That was like my only understanding of it.

Like, to me, Little Caesars was like a frozen thing that we would sell as fundraisers.

And I loved the frozen pizzas, they were pretty good.

But I never had a lot of time.

I've never had a Little Caesars frozen pizza ever.

They were like little mini ones.

Oh, yeah.

It was like just for school fundraiser kind of thing.

Are they akin to the pizza puffs we got today?

No, they were like a personal pizza.

They were like a personal puff.

Yeah, like it was like four little slices, basically.

Yeah.

Akin is the word of the day.

We've each we've each said it.

Did we?

Yeah, I said twice.

You said it once.

I said it was akin to Jemmy's butthole.

And then I said, oh, yeah, okay.

And then I said it akin to something else at one point.

And now you've said it.

That's three in a row.

So Mitch is up one.

Yeah, you gotta, you gotta work it in in some way.

Look,

I don't know if I'm excited for the new Fantastic Four movie.

Sure.

Are you excited for it?

It seems like Superman, like

it looks visually like both of them have a new gloss on them.

It looks like they are trying to do something visually interesting, which is nice, I guess.

I will say this.

I'm very burned out on the MCU as I was, as I've been very, I've been pretty burned out on the Jurassic World movies.

So I'd say my enthusiasm, because it feels like it's trying something new for

the new Fantastic Four movie, The First Steps, is akin to my enthusiasm for the recent Jurassic World rebook.

I'll knot it up, baby.

And so we'll see.

I think just at least it has, it feels like it has an aesthetic.

You know, it has some of the Marvel quippiness that I'm not super fond of.

That's still present in the trailer.

But like, it feels like it has an aesthetic.

I like that it has a specific setting.

You know, I like that it's a period piece.

I feel like it could be interesting.

Sure, it might be interesting.

I don't know.

I'm more interested in seeing Superman, my boy, Beck.

We'll have seen Superman by the time this episode is out.

I am enthused for Superman.

I will say that I have part, you know, I've talked about it before in the podcast, talking about last week's episode, but when I worked in the video game industry, I worked on two Fantastic Four video games.

So I like, that's like, I'm not a big comics guy, but that's a franchise that I have a lot of knowledge I absorbed of just by virtue of working on those games for several years.

But I.

So I'd say, I guess I'm just interested to see if they pull it off or not.

I don't know.

It seems like a tough property to adapt.

It also feels like it has, they've done a couple, right, that haven't really hit.

Yeah, they've done, this is, this is, I think, the fourth attempt at a Fantastic Four thing because they have the Roger Corman one.

Um, they had the, uh, you know,

the Tim Story movie.

Yeah, the Tim Story.

Uh, they made a couple movies with him, and then they had the Josh Trank movie, which absolutely tanked.

And then now they've got the

Trank tanked?

Trank tanked.

And now they get the new version.

Damn.

Where did you, like, but where do you stand on the Fantastic Four?

Like, are you a comics guy?

I'm not really a comics guy.

Right.

And I, similar to you, I'm like a little burned out on the MCU of like, hey, here's three TV shows and three movies every year.

I don't think that's that's like a super unique or interesting thing.

No, not at all.

But I can be convinced if something's good.

Like if there's enthusiasm, like I, this is a few years ago now, but the first Black Panther movie, people were like, oh, this is kind of its own thing.

And I was like, yeah, this was great.

We had a great time.

So I could be convinced if, yeah, sure.

If friends go to it who are not superhero movie people and are into it, that will be the litmus test for me.

But if someone who sees every superhero movie is like, this is, this is in the top 10 of the last three years.

I'm like, great, cool.

Yeah.

I'll turn it on when it's on max or whatever and fall asleep too.

Right.

Yeah.

Um,

I just

want them to be a little bit horny.

It seems like the Superman's kind of horny.

I want, I want the Marvels to be gruntify them a little bit.

They're very, they're sexless films.

Yeah.

Dude, remember, we had Mitch's horn, uh, Spoon Man's horny seal of approval.

Whatever happened to that, we should delete it.

We should turn that into a kinship shirt, by the way.

Three.

That's not the same.

Yeah, that doesn't count.

It doesn't count as in akin.

I guess you did say akin shirt.

A kinship shirt.

All right, that Mitch is up three, too.

This is good.

We're going into extra innings tonight.

I forget what the

horny seal of approval.

The reason it says spirit is you stopped doing it.

And now you don't remember what it was.

And do you want to make a shirt out of it?

I'm trying to think of the horny seal of approval so far of movies like this.

Are you surprised that Emma wasn't like, hey, Mitch, you didn't give a horny seal of approval this week?

You could tell us some movie that made you horny this week.

I think Troll's World Tour was on the list.

I made that joke.

I remember that.

I think Troll's World Tour was on there.

Let's see here.

Do you have a list?

Well, I just got to see what I've seen recently.

28 years later, that's got a horny seal of approval.

I'll tell you how much.

Broke Back Mountain, horny seal of approval.

Sure.

Jurassic Worlds, no horny seal of approval.

It's not particularly horny now.

No?

Yeah.

And quick follow-up question on the horny seal of approval as a premise is it whether it's horny or not they could have they could have made dolores a little sexy if you ask me dolores is the is the little dinosaur whether or not mitch gets horny okay okay great oh yeah sorry it's whether i get horny watching it so so it actually that does open up a lot of things right

I think it's important when a critic has their own personal taste and isn't just trying to create some kind of objective good or bad standard.

It's when Mitch is watching a movie and he loses sight in one eye.

Gets my drift.

It wasn't a blood thing.

What is that?

Is that whatever?

I know I shouldn't try to figure out what you were trying to say there.

The point is like I agree with you that MCU movies,

they have like these are these characters feel like they're like Ken and Barbie dolls, right?

Like they're like flat, like they have nothing from the waist down.

There's no sexual tension or chemistry in any of these movies.

It's just, it's like completely, it's like we've sanitized them to this point where these are just creatures who do do, like, they have perfect bodies, but they don't interact with, they don't, they, they, there's no like passion behind it.

I gotta ask, well, you were saying that the blood goes out of my head.

Is that why in that it's a one-eye thing?

It was a, or do I jack off like Popeye?

I don't understand what I don't understand what you're saying.

I know one-eye of you think.

Yeah.

Oh, that's interesting.

I saw what you meant.

I thought that, like, it sounds like one of those things that people tell you, oh, you'll grow hair on your pants.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I was thinking.

Got it.

Yeah.

Got it.

That's good.

So blind in one eye is you jack half the way.

It's edging.

Stop edging.

You'll go blind in one eye.

Is Popeye blind in one eye or does he just have one that's kind of closed?

I think it's just kind of closed.

I don't think he's blind in one eye.

He's always flirting.

Now I do want to know if Popeye has trouble with his one eye.

We'll find this out right now.

But we do need to find out about the pizza, which, by the way,

from what I understand,

To bring it down to a credible segment,

we'll find out what's the deal with Popeye's eye right now, but we do have to find out about the pizza.

We do got to say what we think about this four-quadrant pizza, which from my understanding, the sausage is the thing.

The pepperoni is the stretch guy.

The pepperoni with jalapenos is flame-on man.

And the cheese pizza is invisible woman.

That's like the best I can guess for the four quadrants.

I guess she turns invisible.

That's like no toppings.

Invisible toppings.

They should kind of happen.

Glass shards.

I guess the thing

I like where you're like.

Thank you.

I like, I know, I like where your brain is going with this.

Like, some sort of like candied glass or something.

Or like

an onion cooked at like a caramelized onion that's a little crimson.

Yeah.

You should have a pie with just like two empty slices where

this is for women only making 75 cents a dollar.

Very political pizza.

They did, so they did one of these Fantastic Four menus previously at, I believe, was Denny's.

And Denny's had the fun thing with the Invisible Woman of it was invisible syrup on pancakes.

Oh, that's fun.

Which did kind of look like you were pouring ejaculate over your pancakes, but it was like, at least the effort of like, hey, it's a clear syrup that tastes like maple syrup.

There was something to it.

But it's a some of that ejaculate stuff.

I think it's fun.

Yeah, why not?

Why not?

This year's like dog gum.

I would say it's akin to dog cum.

Gog women's in the game.

Anyway, this is a fantastic four tie-in is akin to the how to train your dragon burger king menu from a few months ago.

And this is a thing that we see more and more, which is it's an it, it's we're going to do a topical tie-in menu, but we're not actually going to go all the way.

We're going to use existing inventory to cobble together something we can justify as tied to the IP.

And that's what we're happening, is happening here because these are, this is all shit they already have.

They already have a cheese pizza, pepperoni pizza, Italian sausage and bacon pizza, and a pepperoni and jalapeno pizza.

These are all existing toppings.

These are existing combinations that they have just like, you know, crowbarred into we're going to have all four of these in one.

All that said, I do think it's pretty fun to have a four-way split pizza.

So I do give them points for that.

I agree.

I think it's like a fun format for pizza.

Yeah.

Anything on Popeye's eye?

I do.

Look, this just shows you why.

Because we've talked about how the AI Google write-up is wrong.

So, in the case of the cartoon character Popeye, his distinctive popped or bulging eye is a defining feature, not a condition he suffered from.

It's part of his character design, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

In real life, like, and it's his fighting prowess.

In real life, a popped or bulging eye can be a symptom of an eye condition called Popeye,

which is usually called by trauma or infection.

Oh, it's an eye infection.

Yeah, it's akin to a

4-3 mid-house.

But here's

on the comic book Reddit.

Yeah.

We know our favorite sailor was abandoned as an infant by his father, the reprehensible poop deck Pappy, which I did not know.

And a mother is never mentioned.

Who knows?

Almost racist.

I mean,

possibly is.

But since as an adult, the noble sailor lost his right eye in a horrible event he hesitates to inform us about.

Wow.

Popeye is like the silent generation.

Then logically, he wasn't always called Popeye.

So what name did he use?

Up name to call a guy.

I mean, this is this is

you just named him after his disability, then

so it's just an empty socket.

Captain Hook rule, and then there's people.

Then, this guy says, Wait, Popeye seriously has one eye?

I always just thought it was a squint.

Yeah, wow, is this you?

And then the original poster says, Popeye also has no teeth.

Popeye is toothless.

Toothless, yeah, Popeye is fucking scary sounding.

Yeah, he's got no eye and no teeth.

Great diet.

He does have a good

that would explain why he eats spinach.

Yeah.

Ah, for the one good eye.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But so background

with the comic book from this comic book, Reddit, is that he has lost an eye and he has no teeth.

I wonder if that's truly canon or if this is just speculative.

Yeah.

And underneath Mitchell,

when I met Santa, he didn't even have a beard.

Little Sneezers is bringing fantastic

Never stops to brush.

Wait, what did you say?

I'm going to sit.

I'm so sorry.

I said, no teeth, lucky olive oil.

He got disgusted with me.

No, I love this.

Let's explore.

He's like, you know that common thing of toothy goal blinking?

God, man.

Your teeth are such an obstacle to eating my pussy.

Don't worry, olive oil.

He just He's got him removed.

I lost him in a fight.

Now you'll never say, hey, Popeye, stop it.

You're biting my quator.

They could be more like lucky olive oil of Popeye.

Or no, sorry, Lucky Popeye of olive oil.

Olive oil has no teeth.

Well, we don't know about olive oil.

We have no idea if olive oil has no teeth in the mouth.

The science just isn't there.

Little Caesars is bringing fantastic variety to the table this summer with the launch of the new Fantastic 4-in-1 Pizza, heroic creation inspired by Marvel Studios' The Fantastic Four First Steps.

The Fantastic 4-in-1 Pizza delivers four bold flavor combinations and one large pie.

In addition to the limited time Fantastic 4-in-1 Pizza, Marvel joined forces with Little Caesars to design its first ever exclusive pizza boxes of the campaign.

When all four collectible boxes are put together, they reveal a hidden image connecting all four characters.

Now, we got two of these bad boys so that we could all have a slice because there's only two slices of each.

We got two Mr.

Fantastic boxes.

The whole point of the thing is you get four different boxes.

You get one of each, and then you can put them together.

And if you put them in a grid, you make a four symbol.

Actually, you put all four together, full penetration.

It's the horniest thing in the Marvel Cinematic University.

They start animating,

they come to life.

You kind of do manjis.

Actually, wait, I did find a gif of it.

Actually, we can all look at this.

You put the box together, you see, thing has no teeth.

Well,

your rocky facial features are a little bit of an obstacle.

But what's really getting in the way of pleasure was Ben Grimm's thing teeth.

The thing is, the teeth are also boulders.

Is that, yeah, how much of his,

like his tongue and his...

I'm sure that there is.

I'm guessing that there probably is Laurel.

You might have to look at the comic book Reddit again.

I think it's just his skin that's been transmuted into rock material, though I believe his internal anatomy is similar.

Though the thing is, he has super strength, so maybe

his muscle tissue is

emboldened as well.

I don't know.

Anyway.

Emboldered.

Emboldered is better.

Thanks.

This is why we have a room.

Here's what I'll say.

I thought all these slices were good.

I mean, it's straightforward.

It's a hot and ready pizza.

And it's just, it's little Caesars as we know it.

And it's just with, but I think it's four topping combos or topping, you know, versions that ultimately are,

yeah, it's straightforward and work.

Wait, the pizzas were also, not to put anyone on blast, sliced weird.

They were weirdly sliced.

There were some, yeah.

They were weirdly sliced and also

they weren't particularly well portioned.

So it's like, like, we like one, there was one pizza that had one pure cheese slice, and the other slice was like half cheese, half sausage.

And then the, the other one was three straight cheese slices.

Yes, yeah.

Yeah.

Which was like, this is, you know, the people making the high-narrative pizzas, they got a lot of work to do, but this was the premise that was promised was quadrants.

Yes, we want to make sure that in each of, for each of these different, you know, topping combinations, we are getting one quarter portion

so that you can grab these individual slices and be like, that's mine.

But if you were one family of four and you're like, we each want to try one, you would be robbed of that.

Yeah, a lot of siblings would be beating the shit out of each other.

A family of four, though, you're going to get the two pizzas anyway.

You're probably going to get some leftovers.

I got an answer.

Yeah.

Once again, Google AI says, no, Ben Grimm, also known as the thing, does not have a rock tongue.

While his entire body is covered in rock or

orange hide, he retains his normal internal organs, including his tongue.

Fantastic four subreddit, though.

it's it is it's split here.

Okay.

There's there's there is like a there's a drawing from a comic book that shows him with a rock tongue.

So there is a rock tongue there.

Olive oil is furious.

Yeah, she's not gonna like that.

And also, what the hell is she doing to Popeye?

She's cheating on Popeye.

Yeah.

Ben Grimm from the Mandas.

They went to sound camp together.

Reconnected as adults.

She does have, he does have a girlfriend.

I can't remember her name, but I think she's blind.

And so she doesn't, like, the rock features don't bother her.

She's been a little bit more.

Here's a question for her.

This is from someone in the Reddit, so credit to them.

They've deleted their account, which makes sense.

The real question is: the real question is: is it flaccid or erect?

And does it shoot pebble or sand?

Which is a good question.

This feels like we could sell this

as a scene in and of itself for like mall rats, too.

Just like Jason Lee.

Has there been her all Mall Rats 2 yet or no?

No, I don't think they have.

I'm just asking, when he busts, is it sand or pebbles?

The Askew and New,

what is it?

A Skewerver?

A Skewiverse needs to.

We got to see a Maul Rats 2.

But anyways, it's inconclusive on Ben Grimm.

Well, whatever the war, we're out of time.

I think the pizzas were.

I mean, I like the pizzas.

What am am I going to say here?

It was Lil Caesar's pizza.

These are classic combos.

I think they all work.

I did like the pepperoni and jalapeno quite a bit because I'm a bit of a heat seeker.

I think if any of them work, I feel like the Italian sausage and bacon, it's supposed to be, did not even have any bacon.

Am I wrong about that?

There's a little on one of the slices.

That's good.

I noticed something I want to put on the tray.

What was that?

They're not a lot of bacon.

It's the invisible bacon.

That's wow.

That's the way to do it.

It did suck.

Thank you.

I like for taking that doctor journey with me.

I think the idea of calling it an invisible ingredient, it just means that you don't get it.

They're like, this is the invisible pepperoni pizza and it's just a cheese pizza.

That I could track a little bit.

That's funny.

Yeah.

That is funny.

I don't think this is like really a bit full pizza.

But

I do like a promotion that's just like, ah, you suck, you loser.

But it should be something like, if we're actually talking about honoring the, you know, the, the, because, because this is part of what, when we're evaluating these things is how well does it like actually live up to its premise, you know?

And if we're talking about, I think it should have just been the sausage.

That would have been fine.

I think they, well, I would just say, in general, I think the four-way split is great for the fantastic.

I agree.

I think that the pepperoni and jalapeno works as a Johnny Storm one because, you know, like, you know, again, I say this as something of Heat Seeker, it is like a spicy pizza for the fire guy, for the human torch.

I get that.

But to also have pepperoni, which is just pepperoni minus jalapeno.

It's like, you just put that on because that's a crowd pleaser.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Like, you just like, like, but, but, what does that say about any of the characters?

That's Mr.

Fantastic.

That's the story of the.

That's Mr.

Fantastic.

What are you talking about?

I don't see the connection at all.

Is that,

I don't know.

I think it should have been like a, like a, a, a, maybe a, uh, maybe if they did like one quadrant that was like sticks, like, I'd be like, okay, maybe I'm kind of getting that like a, like a stringy breadstick is kind of like Mr.

Fantastic a little bit.

Or like a four cheese that you get a little pull on with the cheese.

That would be fun.

Yeah, like a super cheesy thing.

Yeah.

And then it feels like no effort for the invisible woman.

I now, because, because Johnny Storm and the Invisible Woman are brother and sister.

They are.

So now I feel like the pepperoni is the invisible woman.

So is it pepperoni and it's the jalapenos are invisible?

And oh, I can kind of track that.

Okay.

No, I just think that it's, I just think that's wild what they're doing on those four boxes.

That's what people want to see these days.

It's just too much.

I just think

too much for Jemmy.

The porn in this country.

I'm thinking like the base, the brother and sister DNA is pepperoni pizza, and then he has hot.

He's the storm.

And then I'm like, the stretch one is cheese.

I don't know, but I feel like that's maybe what it is.

Or it's just you get to choose four different toppings for four cogents of the pizza.

And it's just like whatever your

wants.

And you assemble your own fantastic pizza.

I think we're doing more work here than maybe they did.

But I think that

it's supposed to represent the different things, right?

Like, I feel like, I don't know.

I'm opening our, our buddy, friend of the show, past guest, Matt Singers.

Uh, you know,

I am eating everything on the Fantastic Four menu.

I'm opening this up to see if I can get any sort of context on the, on the Fantastic Four pizza and

over at Screen Crush to see which is which is which.

But yes, it is reminding me as well because the other thing that comes up on Screen Crush is the Slamtastic Four for the Fantastic Four, which was Denny's one, which was such a more cohesive effort.

They had the Invisible Woman Slam, which I mentioned, which has the invisible syrup, the Thing Burger, which looked like the fucking thing because of the bun, the human torch skillet.

Like they really, really went for it.

And they also the Fantastic Four Cheese Omelet, exactly that.

Super stretchy cheese.

I thought when you said Slamtastic 4, it was the rap group Onyx.

Featuring Biohazard.

Make the judgment night season.

Yeah.

If they did, if they, they, man, but that but if Onyx did like a remix of Slam for Fantastic Four, I would be so happy.

Yeah, that would be really fun.

But just contrast, like, and I overall like this pizza, but just contrast what we're getting for the Fantastic Four movie in 2025, which is like a movie with the studio more behind it.

Whereas like 2015, they were like, ah, this thing's kind of a boondoggle.

We don't, the directors disowning it on social media.

The movie tanks.

But back then, they put some fucking effort.

Yeah, they put some fucking effort.

I still think about that movie sometimes.

It lives up here in the trank banana.

They put some effort into the cross-promotion with the chain restaurant.

Like the Denny's menu is like, we're actually going to do something.

And here it's like, it's one pizza and we're just going to shuffle some stuff we already have around.

It's just like, we used to build things in this country.

Don't you have that feeling?

I agree.

I'm with you.

I think it feels a little more, it tracks a little better than some of the stuff you've covered recently.

That's true.

It doesn't even make sense.

They're just like, eat it.

It's slop.

Exactly, right.

But this, it does all have the feeling of like when some, when AI does something and they're like, it's just good enough.

You have to take it because there's nothing else.

You're just saying that is like, oh, man, this does seem like pushed into an AI machine.

And I'm like, it maybe very well could have been.

Make us a pizza.

Yeah, make us, what's like a fantastic four pizza.

I feel like this feels like the answer an AI would do.

But that being said, the four quadrants is kind of fun-wise.

I think that they just should have done more with it.

And the pizza tasted good.

So I'm like, what, you know, then where does that lead me?

I don't know.

I kind of enjoyed my experience.

I'm looking at, I guess, just again at Matt Singer's review, and he also is struggling in terms of how to map each because it's not clarified in any of the press materials

which slice corresponds to which member of the Fantastic Four.

I think the fact that there's four different flavors is supposed to be the whole gimmick, and that's kind of a bummer.

It's kind of a bummer.

I'd just be having more fun with it, even though I'm enjoying the pizza that I'm eating.

I'd be having more fun with it if I knew which one I was eating.

You looked like Galactus in there sucking it all down i sure did that's the guy he's the bad guy in the movie i think

eater of worlds eater of worlds eater of yeah eater of pies eater of pies we had you're eating the whole world there's some pizzas going down

we also had the the the little caesars puffs which was a thing that we've had recently is that what they're called the puffs i don't have it in my notes yeah the crazy puffs crazy puffs we had there's one pepperoni one cheese this is not connected to the fantastic for ip this was just a another add-on you wanted to have in there i thought those i i i thought those guys guys

you had one too.

I ate them, but I didn't order them, but I did eat them.

I thought they came with some dipping sauce and they don't by default, which I think is really weird.

They really could have used some marinara.

Yeah, they're kind of akin to a hot cupcake.

I forgot about this.

Fuck.

Five free bits.

I mean, I don't even.

I get one.

Wax, are you going to do a little puff piece on the puff pieces here or no?

What do you think of the puff pieces?

I think they're good, but unnecessary.

Like, like, I'd rather just have another slice of pizza, wouldn't you?

Yeah,

I think we were nice to him when we had them with Jono, and I am kind of like, they're fun, and they, but, like, I, I don't think they're as good as the pizza, and they are salty, but like, I don't know.

I think, I think those are fun for kids.

I don't know.

I guess, but I don't know.

I feel like, even if as a kid, I'd rather just have another slice of pizza.

You're pissed off today.

It's all crust, so I feel like a kid can't.

Yeah, kids don't love crust.

No,

it's akin to the garlic bread with like you're getting with your pizza.

It's just like, I'd rather just have more pizza.

I don't don't need the garlic bread.

What is this for?

Harris always had that funny thing about the little Caesar.

He had that tweet about the little Caesars guy having hair.

He's like,

yeah, he's like, why does the little Caesar guy need to have hair?

And it was a great, it's a great point.

I don't know why the little Caesar guy has hair, but it's fun.

But we love the little Caesar guy and we like little Caesars.

Yeah, I agree.

And I just think, I didn't know that you were as cranky about this.

Not that you're not even cranky about it.

I liked the pizza.

I just wish, in general, these things, I felt the same way about the How to Train Your Dragon menu, which I enjoyed.

Just like put a little effort into it.

And at a certain point, it's just, we're seeing so many of these now.

We, we, we, we're not covering the podcast because there's nothing, nothing to cover.

But one that came out this year that is the most half-assed one I've seen yet is the Happy Gilmore two meal at Subway.

What's that?

It's nothing, it's just their normal meal that it's called the Happy Gilmore two meal, and you get like the cheapest, shittiest plastic cup that you'd probably just throw right in the garbage that has a Happy Gilmore two-like character on it.

It's so rare.

It's like, like, there's so much more fun you could have with that if you want to do something with it.

But, but they're not.

I yearn for the days of the IHOP, uh, you know, Horton Here's a Who menu, where you just like, they went all out and they had a pancake with, you know, purple and turquoise syrup with a little like, like, you know, lollipop sticking out the top of it.

It was nonsense, but like, they put some effort into it.

And now we're just reskinning existing items.

It, it sucks so bad that this is what we're nostalgic for.

Like

things are such dog shit.

Yeah.

God, remember, like, imagine talking to kids.

We don't have kids, but like grandkids, our grandkids would be like, we used to have purple syrup and now it's just a happy Gilmore two cup.

And they're like, can you do euthanasia against someone's will?

Or is there a different word for that?

I feel, I feel like

we've said this before, but we are at the point where we are, we're rooting for like local change.

You know what I mean?

That's, that's where we are in

the state of the world right now.

And,

you know, it's bad, Wags, but, you know,

what can we do?

What did you think of the crazy buffs?

I thought they were fine.

Yeah.

I don't think there was anything texturally or flavorful enough to like make me want to order them.

You know what?

You know what it would be, honestly?

It's like, if I

can't imagine a situation where I'd be ordering from Little Caesars, but was like, I don't want pizza tonight.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, sure.

It like feels like

something you would get as like, oh, I just need this much.

But that's not why you go to Little Caesars.

You go there for the pizza.

No one's like along for the ride in that way.

You know, it was fine.

It just felt, yeah, it felt

if I could turn back time,

share.

If I could find a way, I would have needed another slice of pizza.

Also, share.

Also, share.

That was akin to another share.

I know I fucked it up.

It's just the same.

It is another share.

I deduct myself a point.

5'3, Mitch.

Oh, I think he's 5'4.

I think you're 5'4 now.

5'4?

Sorry, thank you.

He did one there when he was on

his angry rant there.

You sounded like Andy Kindler.

Come on.

I give it to him.

All right.

6'4?

I'll give it for Kindler.

We love Andy Kindler.

He's great.

Great guy.

And a third usage of akin.

We talked about it.

We talked, we maybe should have said this on the podcast before, but this was like one of our last live shows we did before the pandemic shut everything down in Vancouver.

We're up there doing Doughboys Live.

And it was one of those things where we were getting a ride to the airport and Kindler was also going to the airport and was like, hey,

we wanted to share a car.

We're like, okay, yeah, sure, great.

And he was just in there and he was just like, both like being so funny and also roasting us the whole time.

It's the Doughboys here.

He's like, I want to do your show.

What the fuck is your show?

And we were like, we reviewed fast food.

He's like, what the fuck?

And he was like, and you were at the comedy festival, like stuff like that.

We were like, Yeah, well, we're bad.

I had I love that guy.

I don't think he's so funny.

I don't think I've told this story before publicly, but uh, I do wait, wait, don't tell me a lot.

With um, I get to work with Paula Poundstone, who's so funny.

And one, we were doing a road show in like Kansas City, and she was trying to get out of town or get to the airport a little earlier than me.

And I was like, Do you want to come?

I'm getting a car at like 4:30, and she was getting hers at four, and she was like, No, I want to give the extra cushion.

So, I I come out, and her car hadn't showed up.

It's like early in the morning outside the hotel.

And

I go, Paula, do you want to come with me if your car isn't showing up?

She's like, Yeah, bird in the hand.

So, we get in the car, we have a nice ride together.

But before she gets in, the lift driver that I called in advance goes, She starts to put her stuff in the back.

And he goes, Do you uh know her?

Like, she thought there was just like a lady standing there who was like getting into the car.

He was like, She's been standing there for kind of a while.

And I was like, Yeah, I know her.

Just so funny.

Like, do you know?

Paula Pounce was just getting into my car.

We should get our final thoughts on Little Caesars' Fantastic Four Meal and Little Caesars at Large.

Josh Godelman, you've done the show before.

You know how this works.

We'll each go around, give our closing arguments, if you will, and give it a score from zero to five forks.

You're a guest seated to my left.

We'll begin with you.

Your thoughts, your fork score.

I think.

I thought it was a delightful pizza.

I like the four quadrants.

It is a fun, unusual thing.

I don't think there were any flavors or topping combinations that were duds.

Could have used a little more bacon on the bacon.

Could have used a little more even cut.

But I think overall, solid.

Didn't, I wasn't dazzled, but I was delighted.

Like I love to eat pizza.

Little Caesars makes good pizza, like a good chain pizza.

And this was a fun,

fun variety, you know, fun form to consume in it.

I think I'm going to give it, I think I'm going to go 3.5.

More feels like it would have had to go a little bit above and beyond.

Right.

Less feels like it's unfair because it was good pizza.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah.

Wow.

There you go.

Little Caesars to me is in the

is in the

golden play club, even close maybe to the platinum play club.

We like little Caesars a lot.

Pizza of the people.

But if I'm, if I'm, if I'm ranking this item itself.

Yes.

That's what, yes.

So I don't think it's.

I mean, I still very much enjoyed the pizza.

I wish that there was a little bit more theming there, Wags.

It's sad to be rooting for old school capitalism.

We root for this, like when there was a fragile rock racer at McDonald's.

I mean, it's the truth.

It is, that's the truth.

They used to, they did try harder back in the day.

It seems like they spent a little bit more time or money on things like this.

And like you said, Wags, this is something, I guess you could maybe get something that's like this normally.

Maybe they don't let you break it down into fours, but that you could do a half and half or whatever.

You could have money-balled it, created this in the aggregate over two pizzas.

It just feels like

I thought it was both fun for what little we're given now, and also I wish it was a little bit more, but I liked the taste, the crazy puffs taste.

What did you think of the crazy puffs?

I had one pepperoni one while we were setting up, and I enjoyed it.

Yeah, I didn't try a cheese one.

I forgot to eat one.

Fired.

Going in the notes was one thing.

Rough day.

They're cold now on the counter.

I could still go try one.

No, you don't.

You do not have to.

In fact, don't do that.

You know what?

Olive oil would never want to date me.

I'm happy that I have teeth because I get to chomp on this delicious little Caesars Pizza wages, and I thought it was pretty damn good.

Please eat me out, Bluth.

Careful, for God's sake.

You think I look like Vluto?

I mean, like, I almost want to give it four forks because I still just think the pizza is good.

You know what I'm saying?

But I do think it is slightly lazy.

But also, again, it's better than the Happy Gilmore meal.

It's better than some other stuff we've had.

You know what I mean?

Just the item, I'll give 3.75 forks to.

Wow.

I like Little Caesars a lot.

Pizza the people, pizza pizza the working class.

I like that it's affordable.

I like that it's accessible.

I like that the hot and ready is

at a decent price point.

I think the pizza is just flat out better than Papa John's or Pizza Hut.

I just like prefer it to those two.

I'd rather have Domino's in general.

I'd rather have Costco in general.

But, you know,

a Little Caesars storefront is a thing that I'll go to for funsies because why not?

And again, it's just like there's so few places where you can get a meal without spending an arm and a leg these days.

I still feel like you kind of can feed yourself slash feed your family slash have an affordable workday lunch at an LC's.

All that said, we were talking about the fantastic four-in-one pizza, which again, I like the pizza and I like that it's four different varietals on one pie.

I think that is fun.

But

just again,

This is like the least amount of effort you can put into one of these things and still have it be a tie-in, right?

It's just it is one notch above cutting it into four slices instead of a bunch of

four slices.

Exactly.

It's one notch above that.

And so, what we're dealing with, like, it's, you know, actually, maybe it would be more fun.

Four

big slices

into your core memory.

I mean, honestly, if the thing sliced just wasn't sliced, it was the

sausage and bacon.

It was just one big slice.

I think that would be fucking fun.

But, but, but, but it's just, again, you're, you're just, we're just reskinning existing inventory, which I know is something already said, but I, but, but,

but, but it's

what we're dealing with is

what the Fantastic 401 pizza is and what the modern version of the branded tie-in menu is.

It's akin to putting a red cape on a G.I.

Joe and calling it Superman.

Wow.

It's akin to putting a Star Wars sticker on a white t-shirt and calling it a Star Wars shirt.

It's akin to putting signage that says, you know, Batman the ride on Splash Mountain and calling it a new ride and claiming that it's got some sort of Batman.

He's on fire.

He's like the human torch.

It's akin to putting cat ears on Jemmy and calling her a cat.

It's just, it's like such.

It stuck out.

No, I liked it.

It was pretty straightforward.

Yeah, no, it was straightforward.

I just was picturing it.

I got confused.

A dog.

Just say a dog.

Don't think about Jemmy specifically.

Oh, yeah, I get it.

It's got the ears.

It's akin to being.

Oh, fuck.

It's akin to having a picture of hot grunty without any lotion.

Mitch, well said.

Thank you.

Don't agree with that.

It's akin to having a picture of.

No, Mitch is right.

It's akin to having a picture of hot grunty with no lotion to jack off with.

And for that reason, I can't give this quite four forks.

As fitting as it would be to give the Fantastic 401 pizza four forks,

I think it does fall just short.

And so for that reason, I'm going to reluctantly give it three forks three times.

And that's akin to a good review, Wags.

Wow.

There you go.

I lost track.

It was like watching

this year's NBA Finals.

I was like, I just want to see a good game now.

I'd say, let's call it a draw.

No, I can't.

I win.

I miss wins.

Hey, I've got a food stuff.

We're going to set up if you should put in your mouth.

It's snack or whack.

And we've got to.

I would rip every one of my teeth out for hot ranty.

One by one.

I would rip every tooth out for hot ronte.

Why did you do that?

You don't like me?

No, I'm a date marshmallow.

We have some two new-ish Oreo varietals.

Jemmy, you're going to want to steer clear of these.

You're not going to like these.

One of them is going to be actively toxic to you.

We have the blueberry pie sandwich cookies and the chocolate-covered pretzel sandwich cookies.

Wow, two big ones.

A lot of fun.

Josh, what are your general Oreo thoughts?

I like an Oreo.

Yeah, me too.

I'm going to hand these to you.

Thank you.

Before you can start with it, and Mitch, you can start with the blueberry pie.

What are you more excited about here?

I'm more excited.

I feel my hunch is chocolate covered pretzel is easier to execute in a cookie form.

Yeah.

Yeah.

A little chocolate and saltiness.

I feel like you can do that mass produce where like blueberry sometimes is like doesn't quite hit the mark.

I'm going to take two of each.

Oh, that's smart.

Why fuck around?

I think you're probably right.

I think I'm more excited about the

chocolate pretzels.

I want to make sure these aren't from Wonka.

No, you know he does with all the blueberry bullshit he pulls.

I'm kicking the chocolate covered

to you.

When I met Santa, he told me Wonka was a real asshole.

I gotta tell you.

I mean, what are we starting with?

Blueberry Pie?

I gotta tell you, I took a bite of the blueberry pie one.

All right, let me do it.

Wow.

Blueberry pie one's pretty fucking good.

Weirdly.

It's less science-y than I wanted to say.

It's way less science-y that I was worried about.

Well, there's a little bit of science in there, but also it's like a familiar science.

Like, the blueberry is like a familiar science blueberry.

It's like the blueberry you had in drinks or whatever growing up.

You're just happy that it's not so much science.

It could be a vaccine.

Jemmy is staring me down.

I talked to a virologist.

I'm believing the science now.

I've turned.

Deus, I think you should try the blueberry ones first.

I like the blueberry ones.

I think I like the blueberry one too.

I'm shocked.

I'm having the chocolate-covered pretzel right now.

I just tried some cream.

I didn't get very much salt from the chocolate-covered pretzel, which I kind of was looking forward to.

I want to be a lot more salt-form

because the salty sweet is like the appeal to me on paper.

Exactly what I was hoping for.

And I felt like this really turned my expectations on their head.

Is that the golden Oreo cookie on the blueberry one?

I think so.

I think maybe on both of them.

Yeah, maybe on both.

Well, it's supposed to be a pretzel cookie, I think.

Oh.

It's a pretzel-flavored cookie, but what it needs is like visible salt granules.

Yeah.

I was talking about the blueberry one.

No, the blueberry one is

a gram-flavored cookie.

So it's a gram-flavored cookie with blueberry-flavored cream, and then a pretzel-flavored cookie.

It says topped with salt, although I don't see much salt here, and chocolate-flavored cream.

I would say the chocolate-covered pretzel was almost akin to an EL Fudge cookie.

Yes.

Thank you.

Crushed.

Emma, thank you.

Thank you.

That somebody appreciates

just turning on everyone.

E.L.

Fudge stands for everybody loves fudge.

I didn't know that.

Isn't that fun?

Yeah, I guess so.

They should have called the Joe EL Raymond.

This is what a guy that writes murder mystery is.

This is.

The pretzel one is more science-y than the blueberry one.

I agree.

More people, almost roughly twice as many people, love

fudge than Cool James.

This feels like a

it feels like a much easier lift to make the chocolate-covered pretzel work.

And I think they maybe just fucked it up by being like, Well, we don't want it to be too salty because kids aren't going to like that much salt.

We're like, No, that's what we want.

We want the salty sweet combo.

I agree.

It's a bummer.

That one's a letdown.

Blueberry Pie is a triumph.

Yeah.

I did not think I would enjoy it as much as I did.

And I, and it also feels good.

really good.

It's different enough.

Like it's Oreo, classic Oreo shape or the Oreo crunch and the consistency of the cream.

Do I have it on my tooth?

Yes, you do.

Oh, no.

Olive oil is going to be pissed.

Yeah, because you were eating out a Navi.

Wait, is it blue?

Yeah, it's blue.

Oh, it's the blue.

Super blue.

Oh, no.

At least it looks blue to me.

This is like when you had a blue tongue and we couldn't couldn't figure out why.

It was vitamins we found out.

It was your vitamins.

That scared the shit out of me.

That's my, that's...

You thought you blacked out Nate Smurf House.

It's a pet peeve for me, Josh, of just like, like, ah, it looks like a, you know, it looks like an IV fucking jizzed inside my cookie.

It's like, because you know, jizz is the same color as skin.

You know that math.

I'm trying one more of these pretzel ones.

I think they're maybe bad.

Not bad.

It really does taste so much like those fudge cookies that you're talking about.

Like, it doesn't even taste like an Ooze.

It's quite as good.

And the blueberry pie one doesn't taste like an Oreo, but it's like recognizably Oreo in construction enough that it's like, oh, if I don't want an Oreo, this is like a different thing that satisfies the same textural satisfaction.

I feel about these the opposite of what I would have guessed.

Yeah, to me.

Same am I.

I want to haul them.

I would thought I would have wanted this pretzel one, and then I would hate the blueberry, and it's kind of the opposite.

I would hate the pretzel one.

What an inversion of expectation, a subversion of expectation.

I don't know if the pretzel is bad i still can't tell if it's bad i don't like it i'm not i'm gonna give it a whack i i will give a whack to the chocolate cover pretzel does not deliver on what it promises yeah and a and a hard snack to the blueberry pie snark snark

a snarf a snark to um

uh jesus kind of like a new england snack

snark

snack uh snark snack

snack to blueberry pie or hard snack i would agree with you wax yeah and then

soft whack to

a soft whack.

You won Banjo-Kazooie, you didn't get the game over.

Soft whack to the pretzel Oreos.

Soft whack, I think they're almost you're trying to lose it, Banjo-Kazooie, so you can jack off, but you're just too good.

It's like, fuck.

God damn it.

These magic hands.

They're only good for one thing, and it's Banjo-Kazooie.

I'm going to say

soft whack.

Yeah, I'm right there with you.

Because they're also not quite as good as an Yel Fudge cookie, which I like as a cookie very much.

And it doesn't deliver on chocolate-covered pretzel.

It's not chocolate-covered.

No.

First of all, I think that these are Yale Fudge cookies, blow these out of the water.

For sure.

Absolutely.

I didn't want people to think that I was saying whack, yell fudge cookies are whack.

No, these are good cookies.

Do you know what the issue is?

Is that they were trying to,

the wafers are supposed to be pretzel wafers, and they just didn't go hard enough on it.

Yeah, they didn't.

No, I totally agree.

And it's also not what chocolate covered means.

Chocolate covered doesn't mean chocolate on the inside.

I agree.

Wow, that's a great point.

And also,

here's,

let me throw this at you.

What if they did a gram or just a golden Oreo shell, and then inside you had chocolate-covered pretzels inside of it with the chocolate?

Chocolate cream with like little bits of pretzels.

What the hell?

That's actually kind of what I thought was going to be happening.

We're giving away free ideas to the Oreo folks.

That's what it should.

I mean, you know what?

Nabisco,

take our ideas.

They should.

Any contrarian takes from the dais?

Are we all in agreement?

No.

Whoa.

Amelia, you're not thin ice.

The blueberry one was so good when I first tried it.

Then I had the chocolate-covered one, and I was like, ugh, I don't know about this.

But then I went back to the blueberry, and it tasted like science.

It did taste.

The second one tasted more science-y to me than the first one, but I still picked the blueberry over the pretzel.

But you go whack for both then, Amelia?

They're both snacks.

They're both snacks.

Whoa.

What a curveball.

This is akin to a mutiny.

Just like a restaurant value feedback, let's open to the feedback.

Today we have an email from Jeff.

Jeff writes,

I just got back from it.

Doesn't say Jeff Dutton, but it could be.

I just got back from an amazing vacation to Japan with a friend.

We went to Okinawa, and he kept telling me one of his favorite dishes there is called taco rice.

I had no idea what this was.

So he took me to the local taco rice spot and explained that tacos weren't a thing U.S.

service people could get in Japan.

So local restaurants created a dish that took all normal taco ingredients and put them on a bed of rice instead of a tortilla.

Are they franken foods you would like to try like this or have an idea for one?

Thanks for the attempts at humor.

Always a highlight of my

cold.

First of all, I want to try, I definitely want to try taco rice.

It sounds good.

That sounds good.

Yeah.

Well, so that what this is immediately making me think of, and this isn't exactly an answer to Jeff's question, but the dish they have in France, the street food, the French tacos, which is not like an actual taco not what we know as a taco um not like the mexican dish but it is a it is more like halal meat and fries inside a tortilla uh with some sort of like cheese sauce and that sounds delightful i i that that is a thing that is a thing i've wanted to try and it has not made its way to the u.s in any form um

i'm i like i told you i'm going to hawaii with my mom and sister that's right so if anyone has any uh if anyone has any because this episode comes out next week so if there's anything in maui or wahu i've never been to Hawaii before.

I'm excited to go with my wait.

Are you gonna be are you gonna be out and they're gonna be there next week?

When are you going?

Well, no, I'm saying this episode comes out next week, so I won't have time for your vacation.

Or I, do you think that we have we have Doughboy scheduled skipping time?

I mean, I could see you being worried that I just forgot zooming in from Hawaii.

You're on a surfboard.

Hello, Hawaii.

Uh,

I, so if you got any, if you got any recommendations for Oahu or

Maui, hit me up with them.

But I was looking at a lot of food there and there is the there's a lot of fusion food in Hawaii anyways.

And Hawaiian food has like, there's a lot of different cultures that are

mashing over there and stuff like that.

This is hard for me to answer because I'm like,

what is like, what's a food I'm going to make up that's that is like, you know what I mean, like, that is like going to be good.

You know what I mean?

Like, I like meatball subs and I like Chinese food, but I'm not going to make some sort of fucking hybrid that work, you know what I mean?

And I like Mexican Mexican food, but I'm not going to be able to.

Actually, meatball's in.

Meatball's going to

be meatball's going into

Italian taco.

That sounds good.

That's kind of good.

Fuck.

Mike and I made bolognese a couple weeks ago, and we had leftovers, and he had some buns that he had made.

So we made, we kept calling them sloppy naise.

It was like a sloppy joe, but with bolognese instead of like sloppy joe meat.

It's like

kind of like a meatball sub, but like more sloppy joe style.

And it was really good.

10 and 10 rec men.

That sounds good.

Man, a meatball, some sort of like a meatball taco does sound nice i guess you'd have to slice the meatball has a little bit of fried chicken taco when you can find that which is like not at all like authentic mechanism

two things yeah i'm the sucker for any of that too like you do the when someone does like a pastrami egg roll i'm like

that's all same yes yeah or like i've had cheeseburger egg rolls those are fun great

um we we we brought up the china that we that we brought earlier they do pizza like they do like

Chinese food on pizza, like an orange chicken pizza and stuff like that.

Yeah.

And it works.

Some of them work.

That's the thing.

That to me, like on paper, orange chicken pizza sounds a little repulsive.

It sounds like the sweet, like I can see the sweetness and the, you know, the cheese flavor kind of rubbing up against each other.

But then again, I guess it's not too far off from a barbecue chicken pizza, which works sometimes.

Or you could do like a

boneless sparrow pizza.

I guess similarly sweet, but I bet you could get the ratios right.

I got it.

Yeah.

Meatball sub-burrito.

Okay.

Meatball sub-burrito.

So you're taking the ingredients of meatball sub.

Maybe there's some other components.

There's problone cheese in there.

There's meatballs and there's marinara sauce.

But what do we stuff the burrito?

What do we stuff in there?

Is it

a pasta instead of noodles and so?

Now has this already been made?

Starch on starch, but it might be fun.

It's like french fries or rice.

Yeah.

But my question is, like, does the rice make it more like a meatball sub-burrito?

Like, could the rice work with the meatball?

I don't know.

I think it could.

You could do like an orzo or something that's like more like a couscous that's pasta-like, but the size is no doubt.

But then that makes me now it's now like a spaghetti and meatball burrito.

That's true.

My whole creation is destroyed.

No, you're trying, Nick.

I don't need to do the starch.

You just cut up little pieces of bread like I'm sub.

That's fun, dude.

What about the next step of a Chaco Taco?

The next step of a Chaco Taco is a full-on

waffle that you can fold into a tortilla and put ice cream inside.

You got like an ice cream burrito.

I like that one.

A bursuito.

Very nice.

Wait,

bursuito or bursuito is good.

What was your alt?

I thought you were saying.

A burrito?

That's pretty fucking good, too.

A burr suito?

A burr, a burrito or a burr suito.

A burr sweet dough because we invented it.

Trademark.

That's a kid who trademarks.

That's too much.

A three hat.

Now we're talking.

Nobody's done three hats before.

Honestly.

Get Fearer on the phone.

We'll add seven more.

Yeah,

this caps for sale ass motherfucker.

I will say, Wags, that a burrito,

the burrito answer to a Chaco taco is pretty fucking good.

Does a sushi burrito fall into this category?

Oh, for 100%.

That was a huge thing.

And those now, but those are like, those are, those are almost so, right?

Like, those are, there's tons of sushi burrito stores.

My issue with this.

Sorry, sorry.

Sorry, I got you out, Mitch.

But my issue with the sushi burrito is I feel like it's a little uncapachka.

It's like, it's like, I don't know if I want that much sushi in one bite.

You know what I mean?

Like, I like, I like more like a Nigiri or like an individual cut roll where it's like, it's a, it's a smaller, yeah, it's a smaller portion.

There's an ahituna sandwich in, and I was just looking at and I was like, do I want that?

Like, do I want a sandwich full of raw fish like that?

I don't know.

Got it.

I say this as a fellow, like, fat fuck.

That's such a fat guy thing to be like two weeks out from vacation and like looking at your planning your meals.

I was doing it with my mom and sister today, and it was the restaurant list is like 80 restaurants.

Yeah, we should go to like six.

This is my priority for this trip is like what place I'm going to eat at.

I mean, everything else is incidental.

I can't even eat anymore.

Not only my fat guy shop, but then also all this medicine is making me not hungry.

And I'm going to stop ball.

I'm going to be crazy and hungry the entire trip.

There's like this, you know, the long-standing kind of myth of like, if I get on antidepressants, I won't be funny anymore.

You're, you're, this podcast, you're like, I'm on Lexapro.

I might not be hungry enough to do this

I was worried about that, but I also, I don't know, not funny anymore, anyways.

It doesn't matter.

You're doing great.

Look, I don't think that we've solved this question.

I think it's too hard of a question to ask, but I think we did okay.

I think we had some great pitches.

If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at feedback at birdfock.com or leave us a voicemail at 830 go to.

That's 830-463684.

Our producers Emmer Brink, associate producers, Amelia Marino.

Sorry, video producer, Casey Downahu, video editor, Mike Dorkman.

Doughboys Apparel merch available at kinshipgoods.com slash Doughboys.

And

to get the Doughboys double our weekly blown us episode, plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog, subscribe at patreon.com slash Doughboys.

You like

one of our, one of our, a friend of the podcast.

Yes.

And listens to it foolishly.

We don't know why you do.

Zach Cherry loves a good chicken pot pie, he told me.

And that is just an area.

I'm like, we could have thought of some sort of chicken pot pie, like a Mexican chicken pot pie.

Like, there's like, you know,

what's new in pot pies?

Hey, put some sloppy Joe meat in a pot pie.

How about this?

Dessert pot pie in like a phyla dough.

Oh, fuck.

I love that.

Fuck, dessert pot pie.

What would your guts be in the in the dessert pot pie?

You gotta have at least a couple scoops in there, right?

I think so.

Yeah, cargo.

Clam chowder and the dessert.

No, no, no.

In the pot pie, in the pot pie, in the savory version.

Clam chowder.

You said clam chowder, right?

Okay, that's interesting because that's like a

bread bowl pot pie concept.

I can kind of, I'm into that.

No, I have some good alts.

A dessert pot pie.

If that was on a menu, you would order the dessert pot pie.

Yes, yeah.

Isn't that just a pie?

Is a dessert pot pie just a pie?

Emma Amelia, shut the fuck up.

I didn't say shit.

Yeah, no, Paulia's small.

Make like that notes app and fucking

uh Josh, we love our production team and we love Josh Congo.

Thanks so much for being here.

Thanks for having me.

Positive reinforcement is a special.

People should check it out.

It's on YouTube.

It's on YouTube.

You can listen to the audio as of this release.

Wherever you listen to audio things, there are a couple of little bonus tracks on there.

Yeah, I really would appreciate it.

We did it just me and this independent record label and independent production.

And so it means a lot.

If you like it, send it on to a friend.

It does like, I appreciate everybody who's watched.

Congratulations.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much, guys.

I really appreciate it.

Thanks for having me.

This is always such a pleasure.

We had a blast.

Thank you.

I mean, I feel like shit.

Don't you?

I mean, I guess we didn't talk about that in the review.

I do feel

I do feel like shit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There is like there.

I mean, we haven't talked about the Rumblies factor, but we each housed like four slices of pizza and then two crazy puffs and then came in here and talked for two hours.

Yeah.

It is kind of a gauntlet.

That's Doughboys After Dark, baby.

Hell yeah.

Hey, that is.

That'll do it for this episode of Dough Boys.

Until next time with the Smooth Man Back Bench Lab Tech, why you're happy eating.

See ya.

I'm pulling up Park Rutney.

I'm hitting the toilet.

That was a hit gum podcast.