Burger King 7 with Andrea Jin

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I would gladly give all I have written to have composed something like the Hebrides Overture.

This was Johannes Brahms, himself one of history's great composers, referencing the work of his fellow German romanticist, Felix Mendelssohn.

While he passed away at the age of just 38, Mendelssohn left behind a towering musical library, although some of his early pieces are believed to have been composed by his sister, Fanny Mendelssohn, under an assumed name.

And while Felix's best-known work is no doubt his 1842 wedding march, still widely in use today,

his most esteemed among classical music aficionados is the aforementioned Hebrides Overture, also known as Fingelshole, or Fingel's Cave in English.

Inspired by Mendelssohn's visits to an actual archipelago and an actual hole, or cave, Scotland's inner and outer Hebrides comprise dozens of remote islands and are known for their singular beauty and history dating to Roman rule.

And it wouldn't be the last time these isolated isles influenced a creative work, for it was her family's summers spent in the Scottish Hebrides that inspired British author Cressida Cowell to create her beloved young adult fantasy books about how to educate a Wyvern.

Cowell, for her part, does not seem to be a huge piece of shit, but you never know with these British fantasy authors.

The terrain of her series Fictional Isle of Burke, where mountains coexist with grasslands, replicates the peaks and plains that made Mendelssohn's compositional feather pen flurry, and is as much a character in the franchise as the Viking named Hiccup or the big fucking lizard named Toothless.

Incidentally, the historically inaccurate trope of horned Viking helmets is itself attributed to another 19th century German composer, Richard Wagner, whose ring cycle opera stagings popularized the convention.

The success of Cressida Cowell's books led to the wild success of a trilogy of DreamWorks animated adaptations in the 2010s.

And this year, the franchise comes to the real world with a live-action film remake, a large-scale Isle of Birkland at Universal Orlando's new Epic Universe Park, and, most consequential of all, a themed tie-in menu at a burger chain that is literal fast food royalty.

One wishes Johannes Brahms was alive to witness it.

This week on Doughboys, we return once again to Burger King for the How to Train Your Dragon menu.

Welcome to Dough Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host,

Manchester by the CPAP,

the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell.

Hey, the CPAC has worked, the CPAC.

I've been doing work for him.

Not CPAC.

The CPAC.

See, check out Dope Boys at CPAC, though.

I have some great guests.

Ben Shapiro's hopping on.

Shapiro is actually a nice guy.

And also, he has some really strong opinions on Wendy's.

So we'll get into it.

He wants Dave Thomas to be the.

He wants it to be called Dave's.

Wages, have I not seen you since Massachusetts?

We have not.

But I feel like you did finish your thought on the CPAP.

The C-PAP's been doing work for you.

Oh, C-PAP's been doing work for me.

I did have, when the tour ended, I had a little relapse of brain fog, which was rough.

That's a little bit of a bummer.

The last

two weeks almost now.

Yeah, I'm going to blame tour for that.

I think tour is a part of it.

I mean, it's long COVID.

I mean, I've talked about it before.

I just did, I did Gabris and Pally's podcast,

Staying Alive, which is a great podcast.

You should listen to it.

I come to the terms that I have long COVID, basically.

And I've been dealing with it for like a year, which I always thought, which I think I said to you a year, a year and a half ago, I thought that that's what it was.

Well, yeah, you were hoping to get long COVID and that it would metastasize in your hog.

Long hog, hog vid.

I wish.

No, there's the thing you've been dealing with.

How is there not a, like, why is it always like the disease I get, like, you know, I got like a debilitating cognitive disease.

Right.

So why not?

Why can't there be something that just makes your hog grow bigger?

Why is there always something bad?

You know know what I mean?

If I was like, if like you get sick, you're like, I got big titties now.

Or like, my hog is big.

Wouldn't that be nice?

I got hog grow fever.

I got a big, big, fuck, fucking fat, you know, uh piece now.

Yeah.

Why does that happen?

It doesn't happen.

Instead, I'm just, I feel like, I, I feel like I'm in a coma or I have a, what's the word when you're losing your mind?

Dementia.

Dementia.

Right.

Dementia.

So that's come back.

So that was kind of depressing.

More chronic illnesses should be perks.

I'm with you.

They really should and also no one even believes in long covet so that's another i don't think that's true looking at you italian behind the table there the italian behind the table yeah i'm a little skeptical still

wages uh you don't have long covet but uh chef kevin came into the kitchen earlier and um that's right said i just went to vegas this weekend with a bunch of uh old earwolf friends and you went wow and then you left the kitchen like that was the end of his anecdote i thought that was the whole anecdote that was self-contained He had more to say.

Yeah, he had a lot more to say.

I'll catch up with him later.

You barely even.

Love Chef Kevin.

We love Chef Kevin.

Wags, I hadn't seen you, but we should talk a little bit

before about

your final.

You had an afternoon in Quincy.

That's right.

Let me shut out this roast real quick.

Hi, here's a mediocre roast, Adam, a blemblem 321 on the dose scored, roastedbirdfuck.com.

Yeah, we went out and you and me and

Micas and Gabris had a little outing.

We tried some buffalo attendees.

And wax, you might be a little Mitch-pilled now because I just want to say this.

Yeah.

A lot of people have given me crap over the years and I'm like,

Buffalo fingers, they're a little bit different.

I've had different ones in the Northeast.

And I'm like, what are you talking about?

You're an idiot.

And I get it.

I get that's the way you, how people feel about me.

I don't care.

People think I'm an idiot.

I don't give a shit.

Whatever.

I've come to terms with the fact that people think I'm a fucking idiot.

People are always saying Mitch is dumb as fuck.

Yeah.

So what the fuck is that?

I got a dumbbell.

I mean, part of it's your fault.

Forrest Gump looks like a scientist next to him.

People are always saying things like this.

Gump does not look like a scientist next to me.

Gump would only, oh, by the way, we're crowning today.

We are crowning.

The Doughboys are crowning.

Everyone in the studio is wearing the How to Train Your Dragon Burger King crowns, which have little horns on them.

It barely fits my head, but why you didn't extend, you didn't flare your corns.

There we go.

Now they're fairly barely fits your head.

I have it over my head and the headphones.

Emma, thanks for pointing that out.

With such a big head, I'm still pretty dumb.

I don't know what the issue is.

My brain didn't fill up that space.

It's mostly skull, people say.

They're always saying that.

Wages, you, I just want to say, yeah,

you had had some, we went to Fowler House, and so you had a taste of what bar pizza was.

I had just a wonderful, we had a wonderful, leisurely final day after the tour in Boston and Quincy.

Gabris and I took the train.

We took the choo-choo all the way out.

No, you took the train.

You took the tea to Quincy Center.

The tea.

Well, it is a train, right?

Yeah, but I'm saying the tea.

We took the tea to Quincy Center.

We packed Wollaston, the stop where we went to a ceremony where your dad

was in memory of your dad, which was really nice.

I was like, I love that this, I love just a city with a with a functional metro.

It's great getting around.

Well, I just want to say this.

Yeah.

You got off the train.

That's right.

You came to Fowler House and you tried the Buffalo.

You tried some Buffalo fingers and you said, I get it.

Yeah.

Cabris both said, I get it.

We're both converts and we're both bone-in guys.

You keep saying tenders, but I feel like the vernacular in New England is boneless wings.

Wings.

Didn't I say

boneless wings?

I said fingers a couple of times.

Buffalo fingers.

But I just, I feel like that's where people are.

Boneless buffalo wings.

Boneless buffalo wings.

Boneless buffalo wings.

Like a tender.

Boneless buffalo wings.

And

you had them and

you agreed.

I call them tendies, and I thought those tendies were hidden.

Yeah, I don't like that.

We had some bone-in wings from there from Fowler House, too.

Those were nice and far.

We had some more pieces.

You said, well, you get mad at me.

I like the bone-in wings more than the boneless buffalo wings.

I said, I don't care.

But you got what I was saying, that they are slightly different.

Yes.

So he gets it.

I liked them.

You fucking asshole.

No, Mitch was right.

They were good.

Mitch, look, you have a good taste in food.

Yeah.

I was fucking right.

You fucking dipshit.

Are people mad at you about this?

I don't know.

I don't care.

Something everybody cares.

I don't care anymore.

We had a lovely time.

That was a lot of fun.

We hung out with Micas.

Then Amelia showed up.

You know, they call me Spillmonger, but I think that crown

now belongs to Amelia, who had the biggest spill I think I've ever witnessed.

Gigantic spill.

Spilled an entire cup of water immediately, and a bartender had to come over with a mop.

At least it was.

I think every person

in the bar

turned their head, and like multiple employees came over to mop up the mess.

I couldn't.

It was a scenario where I couldn't.

I didn't even help you.

I just looked down in shame.

I felt bad.

There was nothing to do.

It's like one of those moments.

We took rags and napkins and we all got to work.

It's one of those moments where we did all get to work.

It was one of those moments where you're like, if I saw like a building on fire, what would I do?

Or if there was like an active shooter, what would I do?

Would I help?

Would I join in with the active shooter?

Yeah.

And in this.

It might be me.

It might be Wages.

And maybe I help you.

And in this scenario, I found out that for when someone has a very embarrassing spill, I was not helpful at all.

I put my head down and I didn't help you.

And I was just embarrassed.

I think you're numb to it because you've been friends with me for so long.

You've witnessed so many spills.

I've witnessed a lot of spills, but that was a very, it was a, I saw it happening to you.

You had two drinks.

First of all, it was my water, I believe, that you took, which was...

No, it was mine, I think.

Yeah, so okay.

So this is, this is the, it was karma, which was what happened.

But anyways, it was a huge spill.

They had to put down a wet floor sign.

Yeah.

It was just a huge disaster.

And wise, another thing that happened on tour that we didn't touch on.

But you and I were in the train station and you bought Gabris a nice little gift, a book.

Oh, that's right.

And then you bought me a book as well.

Gad We Trust.

You bought me.

You bought me the Josh Gad

autobiography, I guess.

I bought some, I bought some train reading for everybody.

I bought the book I'd wanted to read, The Anxious Generation for myself.

I bought the 4,000 weeks, um, meditation for mortals for uh, uh, uh, for Gabris.

I might be conflating two different titles.

It's the same author.

I bought one of those books for Gabris.

And then, yeah, I was like, I gotta get something for Mitch.

So, yeah, maybe In Gad We Trust is how you beat the one book challenge this year.

In Gad We Trust, I now have it on my property.

Anyways, that was a lot of bullshit.

We also didn't talk.

I just wrote to touch on it real quick.

I won't go into details.

Micus is great.

We had a great time with Micas.

Micas told us like a half dozen insane stories.

Yes.

One of them was like the most, the craziest thing I'd ever heard happen to an individual.

And then he was.

He might have been at a party on mushrooms and thought everyone was trying to fuck him.

Is that the one you were talking about?

Well, I wasn't going to say the details.

Okay, yeah.

I won't get him to trouble.

There might have been a certain member of the Cleveland Cavaliers ownership group that was trying to fuck Micah, which I don't think was happening.

Anyway, he's saying that he's telling this insane story, and I was like, oh, is this something that happened in college or whatever?

He's like, yeah, it happened like two weeks ago.

It was a fun day.

A lot of fun.

There were a lot of of drinks and we watched the we watched some NBA action wages.

That's right.

But what was I going to say?

Oh, I went to Boston Calling, which is like a big music festival at Harvard.

And Shieldsy works at Harvard.

Right.

Drives a Zamboni machine.

He's in charge of a lot of stuff there, like

what's it called?

Like field management stuff, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

But he's so we went there.

That's a very good point.

We went there and he we hung out with Shieldsy there, saw a Dave Matthews band.

Cool.

I saw the Spin Doctors.

Wow.

And so this is this is just something that I, so the Spin Doctors are playing.

You know, they're, you know, the big hit from the Two Princes.

Two Princes.

So Two Princes, the big hit from the Spin Doctors.

Just go ahead now.

Just go.

If you want to call me, I'm talking to our guests now because we have also wasted 10 minutes of her time.

But if you want to call me, baby, just go ahead now.

Do you remember this song?

Is that what you were trying to to see over here at the timer?

So you can know how much they were getting sent to me.

It is close to eight or nine minutes.

10 minutes.

We're at 10 minutes.

11 minutes of your wasted your time.

No.

But do you know, just

Two Princes.

It was an early 90s song.

I remember I was at Camp Fatima, not a Fat Camp, and that song was popular when I was

11 or 12 years old.

So

I'm watching them.

They're playing.

The drummer is playing.

They show him on the screen.

And they they show his set list.

And

you see the set list is behind the drummer.

And

the last song on there, what do you think it is?

Two princes, I'd imagine they close with.

Yeah, but those, the Spin Doctors put two pussies.

This is true.

They swapped out Princes for Pussies as like an inside joke.

I guess it's an inside joke, but I don't understand it.

Maybe because they're tired of playing it.

They've played it so much.

They're like, we got to have some fun with this.

They had had to play two pussies for these fucking idiots.

I mean, I think that's what it

seems like what it is.

Contempt for the audience.

Yes, it says two pussy.

It said two pussies on the.

I have a picture of it too, just to make sure that this isn't a bad bit that I'm doing, I guess.

But yeah, it said, it said two.

I'm spitting everywhere.

It said two pussies.

That's wild.

Well, Mitch, we got our own business to get to.

I know you got to play your pussy.

I mean, your drop.

Emma hit him with a drop.

In transmission.

UPC code 71921-14208.

I don't want to get that.

One type of pizza out there.

Let's get nationwide distribution.

Fastasize the Dough Boys Army.

Take that UPC.

Put it on blast on social media.

Email grocery stores.

Go in with numbers tattooed on your chat.

Find a manager and yell at him.

Hi, Austin.

Tell local grocery store.

It would make you feel very shaggy.

Hey.

Tell them that you want pizza to get in your belly.

Get in my belly.

We saw what the Dough Boys army could do with a cap.

Very good.

That's.

Our buddy Griffin Newman there.

Our buddy, I mean, he didn't make the drop.

But this was an effort, I believe, a failed effort to get a,

was it a Dijorno's varietal?

What was it?

Right.

Tombstone varietal in nationwide distribution.

Hi, Dofam.

Griffin being on the podcast for the Chuck E.

Cheese 2 episode reminded me of his previous call for getting the Tombstone garlic crust pizza back into grocery stores, resulting in the following drop.

Shout out to Chicago Leah for the feedback in the DOS chord.

And thanks for, thanks, y'all, for all the laughs.

Cheers.

Thomas.

Wow.

Let's tickles in the dose chord.

Thanks, Thomas.

Drops at birdfuck.com.

Can I quickly just say on top of that?

Yeah.

I showed you guys visual proof of the two pussies.

Yes, yeah.

And you both were like, yeah, yeah, it says that.

And I was like, oh, yeah, it's just not a good story.

Well, it was a good story.

It's kind of interesting.

I'm not saying it's like a great story to tell on the podcast, but it was kind of interesting.

You have to admit that it was kind of interesting.

Mitch, you're talking about diseases that, like, you know, give you big tits or a big hog.

I have a disease that gives you two pussies.

I don't know what the hell to do.

No, I don't know what to do with one of these things.

We have a great guest on the podcast.

Returning to the show from Digman.

A girl with two pussies every dude.

Dude.

Returning to the show from Digman the Late, Late Show and her album Grandma's Girl.

Who new podcast Baby Goat is available now.

Andrea Jennis back.

Hi, Andrea.

Hi.

Thanks so much for being here.

Thanks for having me.

Thank you for being here.

Thank you.

What are you doing for having me?

You know,

we've loved having you on the show.

It's been a little bit since we got you back in the main feed.

And we're talking before the show that you lived in Vancouver.

You mostly grew up there, yes?

Yeah, 15 years.

So here's Vancouver's got an island.

A lot of people.

There's a Vancouver island.

There's a Vancouver island.

But it's not Vancouver.

We don't go much.

It's not Vancouver.

It's called Victoria.

People live on it, right?

Yeah, people live on it.

Mostly

students, because there's a college there.

Oh, interesting.

And old people, because they retire there.

Oh.

Yeah, I can see that.

Yeah.

The old and the young.

Yeah.

I know.

It seems to be that way a lot in university towns.

No?

Old and college towns.

college towns.

Is that true?

Is that true about Ithaca?

But fucking all those college students seeing your fucking creep-ass Paul Revere making your way across the fucking.

Paul Revere.

George Washington crossed the river.

I'm starting to believe in Long Coda now.

Piece of shit.

Here's what I wanted to ask, Andrea.

Paul Revere, oh, whatever.

You're doing great.

Yeah.

You were in the same.

With two pussies.

We all liked that.

We enjoy that.

So we're talking Burger King today.

Burger King and Tim Hortons are the same corporate ownership.

They are.

Restaurant Brands International.

I didn't know that.

I wanted to ask you.

You said that very excitingly, like they are, but you don't really care that much.

Do you?

I care as much as Two Pussies.

You know, like, that's interesting.

So here's my question.

As someone who, as a Vancouverite, is that the homonym?

Do you have any Tim's thoughts?

Hate.

Hate.

Yeah, hate it.

That's a very strong with everything in my body.

Really?

Even if someone's like, hey, we gotta grab a cup of coffee.

Wait.

Wow.

Who?

Nobody would say that.

They wouldn't say, we're gonna go to Tim Hortons for a cup of coffee.

All right, so I called bullshit on all of Canada when I was up there because they were like, we don't like it, but they're always so crowded and always people are going to go there.

I don't know who's going there.

I really don't know anyone personally that would go there.

We also, here's the other thing.

I like Tim Hortons.

I had, I, I, I, it's, it was.

I don't think you're wrong.

It's hard.

No, you're wrong.

You're both wrong.

It's your long COVID.

It's the long COVID part that likes it.

Because I had it a lot in university.

It just, but I had it because it was the only option available on campus.

Right.

And then, but it just, it's just sugar with like

diarrhea.

That's what it feels like.

That's what it feels like the coffee is.

Yeah.

And then the donuts are not what it used to be.

They're different now.

Well, the insidification-wise, of the world.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah.

Exactly.

We're kind of that place worldwide.

Like, everything is just kind of slowly degrading.

But the Duncan thing is that they used to make donuts in-house.

And I'm sure the same thing happened with Tim Horns, where they used to make donuts there.

And then now they...

they bring in donuts every morning from some yeah it's like some factory that makes them and then they bring them in something bad happened and it's not it's just not.

I mean, I never liked it.

Even in university, I was like, why am I eating this?

Like, I don't have to eat this.

Sure.

You know, but I was just doing it because everybody else around me was like, they were all like, oh, let's go there.

It sounds like you fell into the peer pressures of college.

I did.

Yeah.

And then I stopped, and then all my friends stopped.

And it's like we came out of this haze of like, oh, let's stop eating bullshit or drinking, you know.

You never, we never really got out of that haze, Wags and I.

No, that's the problem.

But I, I, to me, it feels like there's kind of a momentum.

And, and, and what you were discussing is, is kind of the kind of thing I'm thinking of: of

there's, there's an inertia to it just being everywhere where people just end up going there.

And it's like, it's like going, like, I don't like Starbucks.

Every time I'm at Starbucks, I'm like, this is, this sucks.

What am I doing here?

But sometimes it's just like, well, I got to, I'm going to grab a coffee.

There's a Starbucks here.

Fine.

You know?

It's the only thing available.

Yeah, exactly.

I think Starbucks is worse than Dim Horn.

What?

No.

Starbucks is bad.

No.

I think I agree with you.

Starbucks sucks.

You guys are crazy.

And you know what?

I'll sing it.

You're singing crazy.

Like Paul Revere, I'll say it from the back of my horse riding around wise.

George Washington crossed the Potomac River.

Very good.

And Paul Revere warned that the British were coming.

That's right.

Wow.

You redeemed yourself.

Well, as a Canadian,

you're a Canadian.

Yeah.

So, I mean, some of that is,

you know, all those facts.

All of it is new information.

Like, I don't know, because I have never learned any of that in Canada.

Is this real?

You're messing around.

No, I'm not.

Why would they get it?

American history was not taught to us.

Yeah, they don't need to get super granular with American history.

Paul Revere was, you know, he was on the horse, and he said, the British are coming was his big, you know, that's his claim to fame.

He was warning.

He wore, and then, and one if by land, two if by sea, right?

Why?

Because isn't that the old?

Right, yeah.

And Mitch, I don't know what that means.

I think it was some sort of light that they shone.

I think that was the idea.

Yeah.

It was like, yes,

where the attack was coming.

But it's like, it's like, you know, and I don't know the answer either.

I knew this at some point and I unlearned it.

Like, I don't know who Canada's first prime minister is.

You know what I mean?

It's like, like,

I don't actually know the date when Canada was founded or became fully independent.

I don't know that sort of shit.

We don't learn that here.

I feel like

they're actively not trying to teach you world history in America.

Like, I feel like that's just like a thing you're doing.

I agree with you.

You're specifically learning an American perspective on everything.

Yeah, you kind of got to do it on your own, which I'm not going to do.

George Washington during the Revolutionary War cross the Potomac.

Is that correct?

sounds right and that was me you crossing the the channel into the call the island of college students was kind of what i was saying you were like a creepy i get it version of that that's what i was trying to say

you know as far as river crossings go i like the rubicon

what crossing the rubicon that was a caesar thing

oh caesar and then and you said you get to say crossing the rubicon like as an expression that is nice that is overturn yeah yeah i think my favorite i mean oregon trail is some of my favorite river crossing.

I'm trying to think of my favorite river crossing.

I like the Nile.

The Nile is pretty good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I always like, you know, they have like concepts of what like ancient Egypt looked like, and it's kind of cool because it's more like a...

Colorful.

It's colorful.

There's a lot more, you know, foliage at this time.

They also like, I guess the, the, you know, the Greek statues, all these marble things that are like, you know, preserved and then they're, they're white as we know them.

Um,

they used to be painted, yeah.

They actually looked really gaudy, yeah, which is really

interesting.

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Yeah, look like clowns, basically.

I know, yeah, everything had color, it just lost its color, yeah.

And then, if you're, if you're showing like a, if you're doing like a Roman drama or something like that, you'll show all these like old marble statues, but that's not what it was actually, what you're actually looking at.

Yeah, it's just like what we think of as the Roman bastille.

Why didn't they make some of that stuff?

The pyramids and so on.

What do you think?

I don't know.

I just, I mean, ancient engineering is amazing.

You think it was just, do you think, do you, are you, are you not an ancient aliens guy?

No, I don't.

I mean, I don't necessarily believe in the Stargate theory.

I think a lot of it is just like you can do it, you can do so much with forced labor.

I think that was the grim reality of it.

Yeah.

Of just, they were just forcing people to die en masse and these, you know, huge, these massive physical tasks.

Yeah, lifelong projects.

Right.

Yeah.

I don't agree with the forced labor thing, just to be clear.

I just want to make it clear that we don't agree with it.

But those pyramids look pretty good.

They're cool as hell.

The pyramids look cool.

Wait, let's go back to Tim's adjacent.

Yeah.

So you don't like Tim Hortons,

but like, where do you stand on like coffees and donuts in general?

I like, I love

donuts.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'll find a donut.

I'll find one.

Hopefully.

I'll make my way to a donut for sure.

You know, I've been,

this has been popping up for me recently.

It's been pissing me off.

I'll suggest a donut sometimes.

Yeah.

And someone will tell me, whoever is in the group where they're there, they'll be like, I'm not a donut person.

That's weird.

I hate, that's been popping up for more than one person that I've encountered.

That's just donuts, I think, are among my favorite treats.

Yeah, I mean,

I think if you're not, if you're truly not a donut person, there's something weird with you because like everyone likes to eat a donut.

Oh, I understand being like, I can't eat a donut you know what i mean like i shouldn't eat a donut tell me yeah if you shouldn't yeah say you shouldn't or i i need to be good or like it's fried whatever sure but don't say you're not you're not a donut person yeah that's insane yeah not a donut person

uh emma amelia donut people absolutely yeah yeah wait you seem a little lukewarm on donuts yeah

i could see myself being one of those people who does a lot of donuts i don't think i have to be in the mood for it because it's like so much

It's like a sweet treat, like a dessert type thing.

But I'm never, if someone's like, do you want a donut?

I'm not going to be like, no.

What's going on with you today?

I don't like what the fuck's happening with you.

What the fuck?

Sorry, baby.

What the fuck's happening here?

What treats would you rank over donut?

Ice cream.

Yeah, ice cream number one for me.

Ice cream number one.

I create a lot of fun.

No.

You don't like ice cream?

I don't like people that

pick ice cream first.

Wow.

Yeah.

You're in trouble because you got one here.

Shots fired.

First and foremost, ice cream.

Yeah, number one for me.

It doesn't stay solid.

That's the point.

So you got to eat it.

Wait a minute.

That's the point.

Yeah.

Why is that party?

Is that the point?

Yeah.

It's like this ice cream ice cream.

No, I want it to be intact.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love ice cream.

You need it at your leisure a little bit more.

Yeah.

There's a ticking clock with ice cream.

I don't like the ticking clock.

It's so much pressure.

Right.

Like, what if I want a little bit and then later, you know?

Right.

This is, this is hard for me because we, we, we were talking about donuts and then we were like, are donuts better than cake?

Remember we had this conversation

and I was like, oh my God, are doughnuts better than cake?

And I was like, I guess I've like, I like, like, I was like, I've enjoyed donuts more in my life than I have cake.

Yeah.

And so I'm like, yeah, I guess donuts are better than cake, but I'm not like eating either of them a lot.

I'm not eating cake or donuts a lot.

If it's your birthday and someone's like, do you want want a cake or donuts?

You want, you do want cake, but that's so specific to your birthday.

Yeah.

It is, it is, it's, it's situational.

Ice cream cake.

Well, my beef with ice cream is that it's a liquid.

I don't see liquids as dessert.

Interesting.

Or food.

Ice cream is a liquid that just is, that is solidifies.

Yeah, it's a frozen liquid.

No, you got it somewhere.

But the second it enters your face, it's like, it's liquid.

You don't like the textural.

You're winning me over a little bit on this.

I kind of get what you're saying.

It's the texture change.

I think texture is huge for me.

Yeah.

And the fact of lack of texture, it pissed me off.

Okay, so where are doughnuts in your dessert hierarchy?

Donuts are maybe like second.

What do you put one?

Pie.

Cookie?

Cook.

Some kind of like chocolatey thing.

Anything with chocolate in it.

I'm a chocolate.

I'm a big chocolate fan too.

Like a brownie, like a cookie.

Cookies to me, but cookies are below.

Cookies are below donuts and cake.

Yeah, cookies are below.

Yeah, cookies below donuts.

I think so.

I might put cookies above donuts.

You're, but you're a big cookie.

You're a big cookie.

I'm a cookie guy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Cookies are really good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, they are.

Look, they're all good.

I like cookies.

They're all good.

I like when they're so melted, you know.

Well, hold on a second.

What?

You don't like ice cream because it's.

Now I'm confused.

As I said it, I realized.

You like a mushy cookie.

Yes, but it's hot.

It's been warmed up a little bit.

Like the chocolate chips are melted.

And it's not.

A gooey cookie.

Yes.

A gooey cookie that's not liquid.

Ice cream is cold.

Yes.

And it's actually just water.

I am a mushy cookie fan.

I like a hot, gooey

mushy cookie.

Me too.

Yeah.

But I don't want, I want it to still have, it still has to hold

shape.

The edges.

Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah there we go this brings me to the nexus of

uh ooey gooey um so soft and chewy warm uh cookie which and ice cream which you don't like which is the bj's pazooki have you had a pazooki what's that pan it's a big like it's a it's a fucking big ass cookie and it's hot as fuck and then they put a like ice like a scoop of ice cream on the middle

it melts over the top i'll tolerate the ice cream for that in that context i think you'd like it i do yeah But I could do without the ice cream.

Interesting.

It would be fine.

It would be.

Actually,

you are now wrong here.

It would be no problem for me.

Oh, I'm wrong.

Sorry.

I mean, you're right.

You're entitled to your own opinions.

No, tell me.

Why?

It's because it's the contrast that I'm missing out on.

I think contrast is part of the fun.

But you know what I'll do in substitute for the ice cream?

I'll do a glass of milk.

That's fun.

Yeah.

Do you do it?

Would you want a mushy cookie with a a glass of milk?

That's nice.

I'd be interested in your take on the pazuki if you ever find yourself eating one because it's like,

I think, yes, just the cookie bits

on their own are good.

And I think you'd like, but I wonder if just having, again, having the contrast of the ice cream would wake it up a little bit.

I'll do it.

Yeah, seek it out.

I'll do it.

You don't have to do it.

I mean, I'm going to do it.

I'll do it.

I'll do it after this.

You generally don't have to do that.

Right away.

No, you know what?

you do not have to do that.

Um, we're, but we're not, we're not talking cookies today anymore.

No, we're not

quite the opposite.

Donut donuts to me is, I mean, like, I don't eat donuts as a breakfast item anymore.

It is so much of like a treat, I guess, more so, or a breakfast dessert, which I think is fun being a breakfast dessert.

Yeah, muffins still pass the test for me.

I'm like, even if it's a chocolate chip muffin, I'm like, okay, it's like not a, but it still counts as a breakfast thing for me in a way.

I mean, it is, it is, it's very much like cake still.

I can't start my day with sugar anymore.

Sure.

It just sets me up for failure.

But like, what's your typical breakfast?

I'll do eggs.

Okay.

Cucumbers.

Hey, there you go.

And then

a peach.

An in-season fruit.

It says cucumbers and a peach.

Yeah, like an in-season fruit of some kind.

And

it sounds good, honestly.

And then I'll...

Eggs, cucumber, and a peach.

I mean,

it doesn't sound

good.

Wait, and then I'll.

You're not mixing them together.

You're having like some

separate on a plate.

Yeah.

It's not together.

Okay, okay.

Scrambled eggs, maybe some sliced cucumbers.

No, you're not making an old colour.

It's still as strange as a trio, I guess you could say.

I think just whatever I can muster up.

Because I'm not, I just don't, I can't mix things.

Like, I'm not cooking, you know.

Yeah, sure.

I'm just assembling

some foods.

I'm an eggie.

I like my eggies.

I'm an eggie boy.

Give me

a nice eggy breakfast.

How is it cooked?

I always go.

Look, I think people shy away from it more as they become adults, but I still do love a good scrambled egg.

I

feel like over easy or a fried egg or something.

And I love those too, but my mom makes a great scrambled egg, and I had them when I was home.

And

I can't help it.

A nice, fluffy, scrambled egg wags.

A lot of fun.

Yeah.

I'll whip up oftentimes like a two-egg omelette for myself and just put a little cheese in that bad boy.

And then odd that with some greens or some fresh berries or something.

So I had some in adjacent territory to cucumber and peach.

Yeah, but I got shit on.

Sliced cucumber next to eggs seem like I would throw them away.

Like it would seem, it seems like a garnish, man.

If someone presented you with that, you were like, I would be confused.

Flap it out of my eyes.

Yes.

I mean, I would not.

If you gave me eggs, scrambled eggs, and then sliced cucumber, I'd be like, this sucks.

I mean,

wouldn't most people...

This sucks.

Yeah.

You're not sure?

I think it'd be a little surprised because I don't usually see those elements paired, but I think I would like, hey, I could see this girl.

If they were in separate piles on the plate, sure.

But if it's like mixed together in a bowl, then like, no, I'd probably be like, this is odd.

I'm not mixing this.

I'm mixing it.

Yeah.

And then I'll find a bread of some kind.

I was at, I just want to say that I was at the Fable

this last,

just yesterday, shooting Casey's movie.

Woo!

And I was like, I was like,

when's the last time I was here?

And the answer was, your piss party.

My piss party.

There was a piss party.

Amelia had a piss-themed party.

My credit card is still behind that bar from Casey's birthday party in January.

Oh my God.

Emma, what the?

What are you doing?

I never went and picked it up.

I'm just using my Apple Apple Pay.

What?

Do they still have it?

Yeah, I don't know.

I should go find it.

I mean, it's still, if your Apple Pay is working, it means that it's still a good thing.

Card is still active.

I could have gotten it for you.

I was there.

Yeah, I should have had you grab it for me.

Wow.

That's like the, I've never, Ebba, I've never heard of you being irresponsible.

It's literally so.

Very out of character.

I tried calling.

They don't have a phone, and they don't open until five.

And every day that I've thought about it, I'm like, I don't feel like going to a bar right now.

So I just haven't gotten it yet.

Oh my God.

Former bartender yourself.

Thank you for your service.

You must have had situations where someone would leave a credit card and it would just be behind the bar.

Yeah, and at the end of the night, you just run it and you charge 20% tip automatically on whatever tab was opened on.

And then we just held on to them until I guess they got thrown away eventually if nobody came and claimed them.

We also had a drawer of IDs that we had confiscated.

So I got my first fake ID.

Wow.

I would say for you, you're it's uh I think the six-month throwaway thing is probably close to happening.

It's got to be close to happening.

I should go get it.

It's going to be in the trash zoo.

Yeah.

But that's another like quirk of

the American restaurant industry, right?

Because it's like, because in Canada, one thing I liked up there when we were up in Toronto for Toronto Dough is the, is they have the machine.

The

machine.

Yeah.

And you do that with a bar at a bar too, right?

Everywhere.

We have machines everywhere.

I've also worked at bars where you just swipe the card, it puts it on the tab, and then you hand it back to the person so that at the end of the night, if they haven't closed out, you can just run the card on file.

But they also get to take their card, which I wish they had done in this situation because I just walked out without it.

I forgot.

I mean, your card is definitely a card, could get shredded, and you can still have the information and use it.

That card is

probably get a new one.

The card is that card is gone.

Yeah, they're gonna be like, I'm gonna go ask.

They're gonna be like, What the fuck is wrong with you?

At Casey's birthday next January, I'll ask.

You've been using the same.

Is this a credit card or a demo?

Yeah, it's an Amex card.

Okay, it's at least a credit card.

Yeah, it's a credit card.

Yeah,

everyone that works.

I'm just having to know that every member of the Dough Boys media is a fucking idiot.

We also,

this is the second card you lost.

Yeah, wait, I lost one with the Red Lion.

Remember when the Red Lion lost my card?

Do you remember this?

At that bar?

You were there that night.

They ran my card and then they dropped it somewhere behind the bar.

The Jersey Fantasy Rider guy was.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

That was crazy drunk.

He's like, I fucking love The Hobbit.

That guy was loving it.

But that night, the bartenders dropped my card behind like a refrigerator or something and they could not get it back.

And I felt so bad they just kept giving me free tequila shots.

That's right, yeah.

Wow.

Was that a Doughboys card?

No, it was the same card.

Oh, my God.

Then I replaced it and I left it at the face.

But maybe that card is like a little cockroach.

It will be fine.

Yeah, it'll come back to me someday.

Jersey Fantasy Guy sounds like a comedy bang-bang character.

Maybe I'll steal that.

I'll never be asked to do that show.

I like that you.

Brandon Sanderson, Madol.

I did an ad for them literally last week.

I like, Amelia,

I like you clutching your pearls when I said everyone who works for us is a fucking idiot.

When we were talking about your piss party just moments before.

It was fun.

It was a very fun party.

It was a piss-themed birthday party.

I didn't go, but I might.

I was a surprise.

Yeah, but my understanding is that you had a jug of piss you were carrying around.

That is correct.

And also there was a urinal cake.

The cake was short.

Urinal cake.

Yeah, that

was a cake.

What did the people working there think of this girl?

They loved it.

They loved it.

I had my birthday again the next year, and they were like, piss girls back.

Yeah.

So she can get my card back, no problem.

She was,

Andrew asked whose piss was it.

And to answer your question, she was carrying around one of those things that you piss at in hospitals.

Yes, my friend who works at Cedar Sci and I brought

a

bedpan kind of thing.

Yeah, like a not a catheter.

It's like a bottle.

A bottle, yeah.

For urine.

But it was just water and food coloring.

So it was very hydrated.

And I was like, that's a new one, right?

And you're like, yeah, I think so.

And I was like, oh.

It was one that she handed to me.

I think it was a little bit more.

Oh, no.

Anyway.

Oh, boy.

Okay, we're talking burgers today.

Where do you stand on burgers?

I love.

I love a burger.

Do you have a perfect, like kind of like a platonic idea of how a burger would be assembled?

What components do you want to see on it?

yeah i want a soft brioche bun okay sauce a lot of sauce lettuce krispy tomato pickles grilled onions

very thin patty

two thin patties

and then lots of sauce and then the other bun so you're you're like like to me it sounds like you're kind of maybe like a cheese yeah like the forgot cheese cheese is a key component but but i i feel like you're describing maybe kind of like the the smash burger sort of when you're talking about those thin patties very thin no hate a thick patty because that what what that brings me to is you know maybe maybe maybe to me the the highest quality in all of fast food is a canadian chain aw canada i love aw they though they feel like they have a little bit of a thicker patty

it's thin enough it's thin enough that i'm okay with it right we i did the thick patty at at a at at uh at what's it called again aw canada oh wait that's that's what we what was the other one we went to?

Oh, the, um, I know what you're talking about.

The other burger.

Well, the one, the burger that's owned by the place that does Swiss.

What's the burger place?

Harvey's.

Harvey's, yeah.

Where they make your burger like on a lot.

And I did the thick, I did a thick burger there, and the woman behind the counter is like, it tastes like worms.

Yeah.

And I think she was kind of right.

It's like a thicker patty.

And the lady behind the counter was like,

I was like, what do you like more?

Like, what do you like better?

The thicker patty or like the regular patty?

She's like, I think the thick patty tastes like worms.

I like a thinner.

I don't need a big, especially with a fast food burger.

A ⁇ W, we're both on board with.

We both like the teen burger.

Just say it.

Great teen burger.

The teen burger is a lot of fun.

And the one we got there, remember we had the Ruffles Crunch Burger was fucking great.

Oh, I don't even, that's a limited one.

Yeah, it's not PMB.

Okay.

You missed out.

You missed out.

Fuck.

Yeah.

Sorry.

That level of thickness in the patty is decent.

I agree.

Yeah, I'm okay with that.

I think there was a trend in just just restaurants where they would have burgers with the really thick Angus beef or something.

Yes, right.

And that I hated.

I've always hated that type of burger.

I've had a good thick burger.

It just is, you know, it depends on what, where you are and what you're getting.

In fast food, I don't need it.

I agree with what Andrew is saying.

It's just like, if you're getting two patties, or I like, or I'm sorry, if I want more meat, I'd rather that it'd be spread across two different patties, right?

Than one big orb of meat.

Yeah, because it's a lot of meat with with just dry meat.

It's a lot of no sauce going on.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Man, I had a fucking great cheeseburger last night.

It was so fucking good.

I went to just a restaurant near where we live.

But it was like, I went and saw, we have our Final Reckoning episode, which we're going to record after this.

But I went and saw Final Reckoning again.

And then I just was got a fucking cheeseburger.

It was just hitting so hard.

Wow.

It's like, I was like, you know, like perfectly, like, I ordered it medium and like theme.

Like, you know, this is the place I went, I won't dox.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was the place we went together.

Yeah, I went there before, yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

Lovely time.

Great.

It's one of those meals that was just hitting.

But yeah, you have like a really good cheeseburger.

It's like, fuck, this is, is this the best food?

Is this as good as food gets?

It's so good.

Yeah.

But I don't like that Americans, you guys do

rare burgers.

Oh, we cook it all the way

in Canada.

Man, I'd much rather have like a medium burger with some pink in it than like well done.

Like that to be easy to charge to a crisp.

I ran into this issue in Canada is that they cook meat.

Stuff gets,

your meat is more likely to get overcooked there.

And

I was like, can I get medium rare?

And it was like more close to like medium well.

And I was not happy about it.

I wasn't.

Yeah, no.

I'm the reverse of you.

Here, I'll ask for medium and they give me medium rare and I get upset.

Wow.

That's

it is here.

It's that sort of thing of a lot of burger places you

like a lot of fast food burger places, that's not

an issue because they're going to be gray or cooked all the way through.

Like you're like a Burger King, you're never Burger King McDonald's is never

an issue.

I mean, like, honestly, anywhere, like even In-N-Out Burger or something like that, right?

There's like no places where you're going to, yeah, sure.

If you get a more rare burger, it's something is wrong.

Oh my God.

But anywhere else, any restaurant you go to, they're going to cook it less.

And in fact, it was an issue at Hard Rock when we were in New York.

It was undercooked.

100%.

Are you Planet Hollywood?

Planet Hollywood, same difference.

Same shitty.

I got exactly.

I knew exactly what you meant.

I did not correct you because it just sounded right to me.

But yes, you're right.

It was Planet Hollywood.

We, we, uh,

yeah, but like, wait, does that apply to like all, like any sort of beef, beef preparation?

You want to go well done, medium well?

Uh, yeah.

Even with a steak, steak, yeah.

Wow.

I just don't trust,

I don't know.

But especially ground beef.

Yeah, sure.

Because I think I watched too many food documentaries in high school.

They showed us a lot in high school.

Wait, really?

Yeah.

It's a big part of Canadian education.

I don't know.

What the fuck is going on over there?

Canadian public schools are showing you like scare videos about food safety.

Yeah, we watched like Super Size Me and like

the one where they mistreat cows and stuff.

Wow.

Super size me was bullshit.

I mean rest in peace, Morgan Sporlock.

But that was one that was.

I don't even remember what it's about.

But I the one was about an alcoholic pretending McDonald's is bad for you.

I mean which it is bad for you

But I the cow one really stuck with me where the ground beef is just like not

safely yeah, see this is something that's totally at odds with American public education because they would never do anything to discourage you from like eating or consuming and like it's like like they're pretending that everything is fine we got a lot of beef propaganda

yeah no wow um so that, so that put you towards like, now I'm, I'm really conscious about that things being sanitary

and

it's neat.

Yeah.

Wise.

I think I texted you about this.

It wasn't it multiple times where I got when I got beef in Canada, it was overcooked.

And it was, it's the truth.

Like I went to, we had like a cast dinner at a place too, and it was like,

it was like medium rare again.

It was cooked all the way through.

It happened to me like five different times when I ate beef up there.

I think it just is, I think it's an issue.

I think it's a Canadian issue.

Like rare or blue.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't come back medium.

Yeah.

That's wild.

We've got to talk to some more Canadians about this.

I'm curious about this, John.

Well, I think also that also comes from Chinese.

So

there's a bit of it that's China, but then I think most of it is Canada.

Yeah.

Because a lot of my Canadian friends are like that too.

Wow.

Yeah.

Where burgers, we are not having anything other than well done.

Sure.

Yeah.

And if you have like, if you're, if you're like stir-frying like meat, you cook it through.

It's not red.

You know what I mean?

You're not, you're not like.

But my grandma does this thing.

Actually, I just remembered when she makes dumplings and it's pork.

She'll, she's making the filling and it's raw.

She'll taste some.

Raw pork.

So she'll just have pork is the one that's raw pork is the one that you should always have more the most cooked.

I know.

And she's doing that.

And I'm realizing, wait, that's crazy that she does that.

Some people are just machines.

And also, I think so much of it is how fresh the meat is a lot of the time, right?

It's not fresh.

It's from like a supermarket.

Oh, Jesus.

Yeah.

She doesn't have like a pork hookup or anything.

She just

has the supermarket and then she's trusting it.

Oh, God.

I got to say that.

She probably has iron.

Yeah, you actually, you should just tell it or something, but she must have iron insides at this point in her life.

Yeah.

I hope so.

Or it's just like killing her.

No.

I mean, I I don't think so.

She's okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But my grandpa's healthier than her, though.

She doesn't do that.

You talked about because

you lived on a farm, right, at some point?

Yeah, I did.

Was it which side of your family was it?

It was my mom's side.

Your mom's side.

My grandma's side.

So

is this not the same?

It's the same.

It's the same grandma.

Okay.

All right.

See, that to me is.

Yeah, they're farm people.

They're farmers.

They're okay with the raw.

Are they still on the farm?

No, no, no, no.

We moved out of the farm.

Thank God.

This was largely a COVID thing, right?

Remember, tell us about this on the podcast before.

And the farm failed.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It would have been a forever thing, but it failed.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it became a COVID thing.

Right.

You know, and it wasn't intentional.

Yeah.

It was meant to last forever.

But you don't realize it's like starting a business.

There's financial risk involved with like having your own farm.

It just might not work out.

Yeah.

What exactly did you sell?

Like, uh, we sold blue.

We had blueberries on the farm, but we didn't, we kind of neglected them.

And it was like my mom just did weed in the garage.

Oh, so

she grew weed in the garage.

And then my grandparents were really focused on the farm animals.

So we got geese and chickens, and

we wanted to get a cow, but the farm failed before we could get the cow.

Now, what I remember from when we had you on previously and we talked about this, and

I'm not sure if I can, if I I will deliver it verbatim how you told us, but it's a line that has stuck with me

from the podcast, which is:

you said we had a rooster, but we had to kill it because it kept kicking the shit out of my grandpa.

It did.

It kept kicking the shit out of my grandpa.

My grandpa had giant bruises on him.

I found the pictures of it on my laptop recently.

I was shocked.

I was like, whoa, we let this happen?

This is elder abuse.

This is elder abuse

on me because I'm letting these chickens fuck my grandpa.

But like,

we killed them and it was

really crazy.

A chicken

man.

They'll just like.

Oh, yeah.

Like fly kick.

That's it.

Like a fly kick.

Like, they can fly a little bit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They try.

They definitely try.

And then they'll fly and kick my grandpa and my grandma.

You know, all he's doing is just trying to feed the hens.

Can I just respectfully say something?

This farm seems like a fucking mess.

Yeah.

Your grandma is eating raw meat.

She's drying raw pork.

Your grandpa's getting his ass kicked.

Yeah.

Your mom is growing weed in there.

The blueberries, which is a big attraction, you're neglecting them.

You're saying what the hell?

What was going on here?

All the blueberries were dead

by the time we sold it, but we sold at a profit.

Hey, there you go.

I love that.

There's like shit everywhere.

There's poo.

Because all these animals poo so much.

They're pooing.

I thought you were making a distinction.

There's shit everywhere.

There's poo.

Rats all over the place.

Yeah, we got dump slider.

We got this giant dog.

We have this giant dog that just pooed everywhere.

And then the chickens.

Oh, it was a dog that was doing everywhere.

The dog was pooing everywhere.

And then

the chickens were pooing everywhere.

And then the,

we had geese.

Duck?

Oh, we had ducks.

The duck poo is so disgusting.

Duck poo is really bad.

But duck eggs are very good.

So that's why we had the ducks.

Duck eggs.

I've never had.

I don't know if I've, I must have tried.

You've had duck eggs.

I feel like I'm sure I have.

You reminded me of the old dog reminding me.

I have a movie pitch.

Go for it.

I think you'll like it.

The adventures of young yeller.

That's pretty good.

So like old yeller

and then young yeller.

Like you get to see like old yeller as like a horny young dog.

Yeah.

And then like maybe the guy tries to take him around the barn, but he fucking, the young yeller fucking, you know, turns the tables on him or something.

Right, right.

Yeah.

Starts humping.

Yeah, starts humping his leg, and the guy accidentally shoots himself.

Shoots himself.

Oh, horrible death.

So funny.

And then, and then he wooze.

And then he shits.

Yeah.

And then they sell it.

They sell that farm for a profit.

For a profit.

There's somebody, a family comes in.

We'll take it.

It's my family.

you know

yeah so

so it seems like it seems like the farm was a wild it was a piece of yeah it was a piece of and then i what was i doing yeah i was like helping my mom with the weed but i didn't know what i was doing did your did your mom like weed before she was growing it or was like a thing just to do for money no she thought it was like a cash cow Yeah, she's probably right, but I think that now it's illegal so everywhere that I feel like it's harder.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She was wrong.

Like the prices went down and it's legal.

I don't understand why she thought it would be.

And then we didn't know anything.

We had to buy so many machines.

I was spraying like W40 on stuff.

On weed?

On the weed by accident.

By accident.

I didn't know.

I didn't know that you can't.

We should maybe cut some of this out just for liability.

Well, that's already gone.

That's long.

This was like so many years ago.

That weed has been smoked

by someone.

I don't know who.

I feel like, you know, like, there's a lot of,

it's,

you know, there's movies like this, like the anime Only Yesterday.

There's like the games like Stardew Valley, which are like the agrarian fantasy of like escaping from the toil of everyday life and going out to the country and having a farm.

And it's this beautiful rural experience.

But like the reality of it is that it can also have its own, like, you know, its own pitfalls.

Oh, it's terrible.

Yeah.

It's just poop everywhere.

And then you dirt and dirt all the time.

And then there's no

internet.

And that's, I guess that's fine.

It's fine for a little bit, but complete silence.

Like when you step outside, it's just darkness and complete silence.

And it's kind of, I guess it's nice, but it's very eerie, especially when there are old people around.

I like the silence.

Not that old people are, I mean, like in cases of emergency.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, I get what you're saying.

That makes sense.

I like the silence and I like the darkness.

Those are, those are pluses for me.

The poop, I was like, kind of like...

I got on your tombstone.

I like the silence.

I like the darkness.

All the shit, like I'm less keen about, but I'm also like,

I don't like all the shit.

I can handle shit.

But then you said dirt, and I was like, fuck, I guess I really don't like dirt.

Dirt's fucking

annoying.

It's a lot of dirt.

You know what usually annoys me more than dirt?

Yeah, because shit

usually is the worst one.

Shit is worse.

But I was like, I can understand that this is kind of the price for entry.

It's like, hey, I'm going to have a bunch of farm animals.

They're going to shit.

I'm going to have to take care of that.

That's fine.

I'm going to process it into fertilizer or whatever the fuck.

You can also have areas of your farm that are grassy and a grassy knoll.

Grass is nice,

but it feels like some dirt is inevitable.

And you know what?

What?

The bugs.

The bugs.

Bugs are a problem.

Bugs are big topics.

They're always trying to to fuck you.

Every bug, every bug is trying to fuck you in some way.

They're trying to fuck the blueberries.

They're trying to fuck the crops.

You also, they're trying to fuck you.

They're trying to get in the house and make everything terrible.

And so you need to spray,

you know, and it takes forever to spray all these blueberries, you know?

Right.

Go ahead.

Sorry.

No, I was just going to say, like, and you want, like, you're, you have the idea of like, oh, we'll do it.

I'll do it in an organic way.

It'll be healthy.

But then it's such a pain in the the ass, you end up like buying Roundup.

You buy some like horrible, toxic chemicals to deal with all the infestations.

There was when I was home, there was a carpenter ant in my bed.

I told you this.

Yeah.

Whoa.

And in Quincy.

And for me, growing up, I never saw cockroaches in Quincy ever.

I just didn't.

And I think it's, you know, the, I think it's a temperature thing.

In the city, in Boston, I'm sure you see them, but

there was a pretty big fat carpenter ant, and it was so big.

And I killed it.

And I told you, I felt bad.

It was such a big ant.

I felt, it felt like I had a soul.

I felt bad.

I felt bad killing it.

I really did.

And it was just like such a reaction where I was like, ugh.

And I killed it.

And then I felt so sad afterwards because it was a big enough thing that I was like, that's a creature.

He was like in the middle of a kids' movie.

He was in the middle of an adventure.

And I fucking, I stomped him out.

Oh, my God.

I saw the biggest moth I've ever seen in my life on the farm.

That's so gross.

How about

your bomb size?

Like, how big?

Like the size of

a gerbil.

Wow.

You're kind of making like an orb that it's not quite a basketball, but maybe like a soccer ball.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

When bugs, when you can like feel like with the moths too, it's like they're like carpety.

You know what I mean?

Like the fact that you can like feel their textures.

That is disgusting to me.

I don't like, I'm not a moth.

There's little moths in my house and I kill them with abandon, but that big ant I felt really, I felt bad for.

It might just have some sort of soul or something.

I felt bad.

I felt bad.

I'm with you.

I'm thinking of it.

I try not to kill bugs anymore.

Honestly, unless they're a threat to my, if I see like a spider and I'm like, that spider is probably a threat to my cats, then I'll kill the spider.

And spiders are good, normally.

Cats are very good at, they catch things.

They catch things.

Yeah.

Very nimble.

There's some black widows that have been around my house before.

So I always just get paranoid with it.

If there's a spider in the house, I don't want my cats to get bit by them.

That's all I'm afraid of.

I'll kill any bug.

I don't care.

I brought it up on the text chain.

And I think, I think, Emma, I think both of you said, I don't give a fuck about bugs.

Yeah, like bugs in my bed, fuck off.

Nope.

That's why I space.

Outside.

I'll kill bugs outside.

Well, you don't have to, you don't got to do that.

You don't have to do it.

No, it's out of habit these days.

Out of hatred, too.

Because of being on the farm.

Because I'm just like, oh, man, they fucked with me too much.

I gotta just, I want to eliminate the species, you know?

That's how I feel about bugs.

I'm killing them outside.

Have you ever seen Starship Troopers?

No.

Make sure you watch it.

It's all about killing bugs.

It's about killing bugs.

You know what?

My grandpa has a war with

mice.

Or sorry, rats.

Oh, sure.

Rats.

He started to kill rats outside of our home.

That's see.

I don't know why you and your grandpa have taken it to the streets.

Vendetta.

Yeah.

Because he's just that angered by

vermin.

He's not a fan of vermin.

Because they've fucked with him quite a bit.

My mom's house

is my mom's house right now is getting fucked with by with by mice.

And I want to get her.

She should get a cat or something for the house.

It would be helpful.

That would be nice.

That's a nice way to.

Help.

They do.

They really do.

They catch those battles.

Jemmy used to hunt all the rats in the barn at the farm she was at before I had her.

Oh, yeah.

She would catch the rats and bring them to the other dogs.

Oh, that's nice.

Isn't it so like, but we're having all these conversations, and obviously we're going to talk about a bunch of meat that we ate.

But it's like, it's like, it's always like, like, oh, Jemmy, so, what a, what a cute, good girl.

We love Jemmy.

But then Jemmy's killing a bunch of rats who also had souls.

Yeah.

Jemmy's a fucking murderer.

I love his face.

Little fucking soul destroyer face.

She's making a face that looks like, so what?

She's like, and I ate those rats, and they were delicious.

That is wild.

I've seen her picked up.

She picked up a dead squirrel in the woods once.

Whoa.

We were just like, I wonder what she'll do.

It was just like, it had clearly just been hit by a car or something big recently.

And she just like picked it up and started walking away.

Like, this is my lunch.

And I was like, nah, no, put it down.

That's disgusting.

That was a red.

That is gnarly.

And then I roasted her some chicken in the oven.

That's the way to do it.

Nice.

She also licks her butthole.

So

yeah.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

There's like red lines with what you can, like, what you can feed Jemmy.

But it, like, you have to use discretion on a dog's behalf because she really wanted the fiery dragon mozzarella fries, which we'll talk about.

She's like, That's not gonna go well for her.

Yeah, she would have tried it and then she would have had fiery butt later.

I bet a dog would like would love two buttholes.

Like, we were like, like,

like, if it is a dream,

twice the treat.

I think that would be the best thing that's ever happened to the dogs.

Yeah,

they love buttholes so much.

They love them, they like their own, they like other dogs.

Their favorite kids, too.

I wouldn't know what to do with two buttholes.

Would it suck more for, I mean, I guess it wouldn't like double the shit, really, right?

Like, I guess that's the question is, like, if you have two buttholes, does that, or is it just choosing?

No, I think it would split it into two.

What if one just for diarrhea?

That's, I love that idea.

Yeah.

So if you see one butthole puckering, you're like, uh-oh, that's going to be bad.

That's the diarrhea one.

But maybe a little tighter and more focused, so it's a little less explosive.

That's, hey, two buttholes could be worth it.

Yeah.

All right.

Let's, hey, what we were talking about was just the farts.

I love that.

Oh,

I love that.

A gas hole and a solids hole.

Oh, that's nice.

Emma, a gas hole is very disgusting.

It's actually really disgusting.

That's fucking disgusting.

A gas hole.

A gas hole.

No, don't cut it.

That'd be nice if you could dampen the sound.

So then you could just have like SBDs out of like your

secret little gas hole.

There should be, I mean, there should be silent but deadly.

Oh, what did you say?

What's it SBD?

Silent but deadly.

I know that there are like our.

I'm surprised you don't have that tattooed on you.

What's SBD?

Oh, let me check my knuckles.

That'd be good knuckles.

It's under my lip right now.

I think that there's like some, like, there's like companies that like have like, they sell a blanket to like, if you fart under the blanket, it like keeps the smell in the blanket.

Yeah, but I'm like, no, no, no, no, no couple will ever want to buy a thing like that as the issue.

But I do wish that there was a thing with pants that you could soundproof your pants.

Like, you know what I'm saying?

Like, for me, forever, passing gas, as they say,

is like the most mortifying thing when I'm dating or meeting someone.

I never,

I never, even if I've dated, like the longest relationship I was in, I still didn't do that in front of someone.

Yeah, I'm with you.

But that's also, that also could just be like a courtesy to your SL.

Sure, yes.

And also, you got to keep some mystery or whatever.

But like, I wish there was some sort of diaper or some sort of

undergarment.

I shouldn't say, I shouldn't go immediately to diaper, but some sort of, some sort of undergarment that could like silence it and take care of it.

There should be.

Why not?

It's 2025.

Why can't we have that at this point?

I don't get why it doesn't exist.

It should exist.

It feels like there should be some sort of sound out.

We don't even know.

And also, just

you're on a plane and it smells like shit and you're like, that's like some guy behind me is like farting and just like letting out.

That drives me fucking nuts.

It's disgusting.

That's just like, again, just be courteous to your fellow human beings.

Yes, and I'm saying like,

wouldn't it be helpful for that to exist for that reason too?

I get what you're saying.

I think it's all like contextual.

It's like, you know, they make airplane seats out of this material so that it just like absorbs all the materials.

That's a great idea.

Yeah.

Amelia hates that idea, but I think it, I think it like something like that.

I'm working on that for the chairs in here.

A little CPAP for your ass or something.

Do you know what I'm saying?

It's sucking instead of blowing air out.

What it brings me to is that we certainly talked about on the podcast that they invented the pants for jacking off and it's like that's our priority.

Like that's like

we're making J-O pants.

There's no pants for jacking jacking off.

Yeah, they're J-O pants, apparently.

But it's like we're making that, but we're not making the fart trousers, which are more universal, more useful.

It's like how we prioritize infrastructure in this country.

It's like it's like every like

we're doing the wrong things.

We should be building high-speed rail.

Yes.

And making fart pants.

Yeah.

Truly.

Yeah.

Because it's never good.

What's good for everyone?

It's just what's good for yourself.

Exactly.

Yeah.

By the way, I wear them.

Jacking off.

Jacking off, right.

Jacking off is healthy, first of all.

Second of all, I wear the the jack off pants, but I wear them because they're comfortable, not because of the access you get to jacking off.

Jacking off part.

Yeah, the jacking off.

I don't need the jacking off thing, but they're

very cool and they're very comfortable pants.

I like them.

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Anyways, we should talk about burgers.

We should talk about burgers.

Andrew, I'm curious, like, where are you on the How to Train Your Dragon franchise?

I've never seen any of the movies.

Not any of them?

No.

Okay.

I love the animated.

Yeah.

First, I think I watched it.

I think I watched all of them.

I think I like all of them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love the first one.

I've heard the first one in particular is great.

I just never got around to watching it.

I do like animation.

I will watch it at some point.

The live-action one is going to be an impetus for me to watch the animated versions.

Yeah.

Which are, where are you on?

How to train your dragon?

I've never seen any of them.

Whoa.

I was just thinking, we can't have that.

You guys suggested this.

I

didn't pick them up.

We just saw that we just saw that there was, it was happening, and we were like, what's this fucking dude?

I thought it was like a big how to train your dragon thing going on.

I mean, well, it is.

There is

there is the new movie coming out, and as such, like anytime they do one of these tie-in menus, we're curious about it, whether or not we're interested in the IP, you know, one way or the other.

So I see.

But yeah, this one felt like it was worth revisiting BK for the How to Train Your Dragon menu.

I like the dragon.

It's cute.

It's a cute dragon.

The dragon is very, it's a very cute dragon.

Which brings me to this question.

Andrea, we had you on previously for a Patreon episode we did on the Doughboys double called Creature Eater.

Yes.

Where we looked at a bunch of different creatures from science fiction and fantasy and decided whether or not we would eat them.

Yeah.

So my question for the room is,

would you eat toothless from How to Train Your Dragon?

Yeah.

Toothless from how and I'm sure toothless is going up on the screen.

Yeah, we're gonna get a pic of of toothless to look at here.

Toothless.

My issue with toothless is that toothless has like cat eyes.

Yeah.

And for me, I couldn't.

I love Wally and Irman.

It just reminds me a little too much of a cat.

You're like, you're kind of anthropomorphizing him a little bit.

You're kind of humanizing him.

Well, I mean, like, isn't...

Can he communicate with the dragon a little bit?

Like, he can, right?

Yeah, he's doing some stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think.

There he is.

I don't think I would, actually.

You would not.

I wouldn't, because I feel like it would taste like, um, I think he lives in the alligator family or crocodile.

Oh, sure.

And I feel like it would be

the texture wouldn't be great.

I've, I've eaten, I have eaten alligator, but

it's not bad.

Yeah, that's what I was saying.

You're like,

I don't like it.

If he's like a gato,

I might be down.

Hey, I'm going to buy you tomorrow, Wages.

I bet y'all have some some tasty eats.

Yeah, there's, I'm staying at this hotel.

I'll talk about it later, but the guy there was like kind of odd, and he said that, like, uh, whatever.

Okay,

I don't want to get into it, but like, supposedly, it's a thing that, like, if you stay at the hotel, like you're supposed to suck him off beforehand.

Oh, interesting, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But then he, I was like, Can you send a picture of yourself?

And then, like, this is like the concierge.

He's like, Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I just have a feeling, you know, what I'm thinking.

Yeah, well, did you did you get a look at him?

Did you look at the picture?

Yes, he sent me a picture of him.

What, what, what color was he?

He was green.

Oh, boy, Mitch.

It was a gator.

We have a long-running joke of where we suck gators off.

Sorry.

I was like, what?

I would not suck toothless off, but

how could you

get for crying out?

Toothless is a little kid.

But I feel like

eating the meat of his species, I think I would, I enjoyed it.

Here's the deal.

If someone's like, I've prepared dragon, and I'm like, shit, there's dragon here.

I think I would have to to try a bite.

Yeah.

Mythical creature?

I think the belly part, too.

It's that same.

Yeah.

That would be nice.

I think the belly cut is pretty good.

I bet.

I feel like if someone was, it's that sort of thing of like, hey, my friend got veal and do you want to try a bite of it?

And I'm like, oh, maybe I'll try a bite of it or something that's served.

It's that sort of thing we've talked about before where it's like, the deed is already done here.

If it's going in the trash, otherwise I'll eat it.

But if they were like, if I went to to a restaurant and it was like, there's dragon on the menu, and I like looked in the kitchen, I saw him in like a crate,

I would say, no, I'm not, I don't want, I can't do this.

You're envisioning like a lobster tank.

Yeah, like you pick your own for dragon.

Yes.

And I could, yeah, that would be, that would feel a little bit.

Well, what if it was, he was flying around?

Less so.

That sounds like a lot of people.

I thought it was the crate that was the issue.

No, no.

That was a free-range dragon?

You could pick him off with a crossbow?

Yeah, yeah.

No, no.

Wow.

My Gatorbit was so half-assed.

I didn't even try to do it.

I liked it.

All right.

I liked it.

You did great.

That was good.

You didn't even know what it was.

I didn't know.

I was like, you have to suck a guy off

to stay there?

This is the Burger King How to Train Your Dragon menu.

This is officially our seventh BK episode, most recently reviewed in 2022 with Gabriel Snadam Pally, who we're talking about earlier.

Yeah.

Ejected from the Golden Plate Club on that episode.

Currently owned, as I mentioned, by Restaurant Brands International, which owns Tim Hortons.

Also, Popeyes, Firehouse, Subs, all under the same corporate ownership.

I love Popeyes.

Where do you?

I do love Popeyes.

Popeyes is great.

I love.

Where does fried chicken

rank in your savory hierarchy?

Because that's like number one for me.

Maybe six.

Six.

That is such a for you to to think about it and then just throw out six is so funny to me.

What what is what's one through five?

It could be a lot of pizza.

Pizza's up there before fried chicken.

Okay.

Wow.

Yeah.

Beef, like

steak, burger.

Steak is, I think,

eight or nine.

Okay.

Wow.

This is, I had no idea you knew.

Wait, what are your, what are candidates for number one?

Like, what are you thinking?

Burger.

Burger.

Wow.

Okay.

Okay.

Maybe.

Wow.

And

I guess some.

Burger one, but steak eight.

Yeah, I understand.

I understand.

They're very different.

They are very different.

Meat versus so much other stuff.

Yeah.

Yes.

You're right.

You're right.

You're right.

Okay.

Which is like a piece of fish.

Is fish anywhere in there?

Like

27.

I now need to know what two, three, four, and five are.

Are you more led towards like land-based food, or you're sort of a sea skeptic?

I, yeah, it's just the fish,

don't like shrimps or anything.

Oh, shrimp is up there.

Okay, yeah, we'll do shrimp.

Shrimp would beat shrimp, uh, shrimp beats fried chicken,

yeah.

Five.

Wow, five.

What about like a burrito?

Like,

no, tacos, tacos, ten.

No, no, that's too high.

20s.

22.

22.

22.

Burrito.

Burrito, 23.

Breakfast burrito.

Okay.

Eight.

All right.

Still not above six.

Now, Mitch had

recently a pretty hot take where he you're a bit of a breakfast burrito skeptic.

I think breakfast burritos aren't that good.

Whoa.

I think there's too overhyped.

I have a take on this.

Yeah.

That all burritos are breakfast burritos if you eat them for breakfast.

That's a great point.

It doesn't really matter what's in it.

That would change everything because I love

burritos.

Oh.

I love burritos, but breakfast burritos, I'm always like,

I hate regular burritos.

Really?

Yeah.

Like, just have it be a bowl.

I mean this respectfully too.

You are baffling.

Spaghetti or noodles, like what, like, like,

is that above...

I'm trying to think of anything that's above.

Yes.

Asian, Asian type of noodles.

Okay.

Maybe like two or one.

Okay.

All right.

Yeah.

What's your ideal, like, like,

do you have an ideal dish there, an ideal prepper?

Like a pho.

Okay, okay.

So ph burgers pho.

This is both are beating your number six of fried chicken.

Burgers pho.

Blank shrimp fried chicken.

1,000.

1,000.

Barbecue.

Barbecue.

Okay, so barbecue beats fried chicken.

When you're saying barbecue, what are we like?

What kind of barbecue are you thinking?

Brisket.

Okay, sure.

Something beef type of thing.

Is there much of a barbecue culture in Canada?

No.

No.

We have just like Canadian bacon.

That's like our.

So is that a thing you eat?

Do you got more in the south?

A p-meal sandwich I try to have.

That's their Canadian.

P-meal.

P-meal.

P-meal sandwich.

Barbecue I got into because of Korean barbecue.

And also the Texas barbecue is really good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And when I went to Austin, wow, that was really good.

So you'll go to a place and just be like, hmm, this is one of my favorite foods now.

Yeah.

Wow.

I kind of like that.

I do like that.

I think brisket.

Yeah.

All right.

So, all right.

So, barbecue.

All right.

We almost got it.

Open-minded.

Yeah.

So, so burgers, noodles, barbecue, shrimp.

You're just missing one before fried chicken.

Let's say, let me think,

sushi.

There we go.

Yeah.

All right.

But you are like,

you'll have a you'll have sushi, but you're maybe not as interested in having like a salmon file.

Cooked fish is less into that.

Yeah.

What's your favorite sushi?

Ooh, like seared, a biri, pressed sushi.

Sure.

Yeah, with the sauce, with some sauce on it.

All right.

That's pretty good.

Yeah.

That's up there for me.

Well, hey, speaking of seared, we have the dragon flame-grilled whopper.

The star of the show

features a quarter pound of flame-grilled beef served on a red and orange marbled bun colored with natural spices and vegetables and then topped with a standard.

Whopper toppings plus bacon.

Now, here's the thing.

As far as the- I know I'm wearing one too, but you look like a true fool in your Burger King.

What do you mean?

You look like a damn Jamoque.

How so?

You just, you do.

You look like a fool.

You look like an idiot.

Well, you look like a fucking dunce.

Yours is all askance.

It's not even facing forward.

Is that true?

Yeah.

Get your shit together.

It's crooked.

It's silly.

You look silly in it.

You also look silly.

It's funny.

It's not a bad thing.

I'm wearing one also.

You look cooler than us.

Thank you.

Wow.

I think everyone looks great.

We're having fun.

Jamoque is an okay word to say.

I don't know.

I don't know the other thing.

What does that mean?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, Amelia gives you the green light.

You're doing fine.

I think it means a dumb person.

Yeah.

Used to refer to coffee, a blend of Java and mocha.

No, that's not like we are.

Well, we're off to a bad start.

And also, I'm pretty sure she spelled Jamoque wrong.

So here's why.

Why would she spell it?

Hold on.

Jamoque.

Okay.

Uh-oh.

Jamoque is an Italian-American slang referring to a stupid or foolish person.

Oh, that's fine.

It's not to originate.

Those are fine.

Italians came up with it.

It maybe came from

Giamope,

Napoleon or Sicilian for the same thing.

An idiot.

I'm saying you can't use that word.

Because it's Italian.

I can't use use it.

My mom said Jamoque, and I think I got caught in my head.

She also, you know what else she said?

She said, look that up in your funkin Wagnols.

That's what she said.

I love that.

What the fuck does that mean?

It's like a dictionary or some shit.

Your mom's great.

I didn't get to spend any real time with your mom and with Courtney, your sister, up

when we're in Boston.

My sister had a...

That sounds like a way to say curse words without saying curse words.

Funkin Wagnols and Jamoque.

This is all the stuff she was saying.

She's getting older and saying just weird old shit now.

My mom would sometimes say H-E-double hockey sticks.

Oh.

look that up in your funking Wagnos.

It's pretty good.

We should make that.

My sister, I have a funny story about my sister is

we did a big thing where we had a choir and

there was a keyboard that was played

during

an episode during the Boston.

Yes.

And I said to my sister, I was like, can you send me a picture of your keyboard?

And because she has a keyboard.

And then she texted me a picture from work of her computer keyboard.

I was like, Courting Right.

What the fuck do you think I want to see your fucking computer keyboard for?

We're doing a tour.

We need a computer keyboard.

I think that's a good bit.

So here's the thing about this Whopper.

First off, I'm curious.

Burger is possibly your number one overall food.

Yeah.

I'm not sure

how much Burger King has a presence north of the border.

Like, was Burger King a thing you had growing up?

Have you had it much in the States?

I've never had it in the States.

Wow.

That was my my first one.

It's the How to Train Your Dragon one.

This is your first time ever having Burger King in America.

In America.

Okay, good.

Why do you have it in Canada?

I was obsessed with it in Canada at one point.

Wait, really?

I would skip school to go get Burger King Whopper.

What was your regular order was a Whopper?

Yeah, I get a Whopper.

Yeah.

We don't condone that.

Skipping school.

Yeah, don't skip school to get a Whopper.

You can get it after school hours.

You can definitely get Whoppers after school hours.

But I had to have it.

Yes.

I would skip school to go to the Pizza Hut Buffet with friends.

I loved Pizza Hut growing up.

Yeah.

Wow.

Do they have the buffet in Vancouver?

No, we didn't have buffet, but we had the huts, the pizza huts that are

actual huts.

The dine-in experience.

The dine-in huts.

And then that was a really great time.

That was when

my mom had a husband, and I had a stepdad and a stepsister.

I think I'm tying that memory to a Pizza Hut.

Right.

Yeah, that was when my family was complete.

So, yeah.

I got off the train.

I got the train the other day and I saw these two kids, and they were like, They looked like they were like 11 or 12, these like two boys, and they were carrying, uh, they each, they would, they had a fucking um little Caesars hot and ready pizza and they each had a big soda from AM P.M.

And I was like, fuck, those kids are about to have like the best afternoon of like

like life never gets better than that.

So nice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Going to 7-Eleven, getting a big drink.

I used to love getting a big fucking drink.

Beef sticks.

Now I can't do it.

Now, if I'm doing this, I'm ruining my day.

Yeah.

A big soda will ruin your day.

Yeah, if I get that, I have that much sugar and that much caffeine, like in the afternoon.

I'll get a big zero.

Get a big zero soda.

You could get a big zero, but that's not the same.

Yeah.

It's not the same as when I had the metabolism to take a fucking 64-ounce double gulp to the dome.

Yeah.

It is a sad thing with just even with long COVID where I'm like, is like drinking soda just going to like gunk up my my system?

Do I like need to just be drinking water?

Yeah.

Which is probably the answer is yes.

The answer is yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It sucks.

It sucks.

It sucks getting old.

It's bad.

So you're,

it's, it's fucking horrible.

Um, uh, so you, you, like, you used to love Burger King.

You're skipping school to go there.

You're getting the whopper.

Family is complete.

Family is complete.

You're getting the whopper.

Like, like, like, do you have any other favorite menu items?

Yeah.

Would you, would you regularly get a combo?

You're getting fries.

You're getting a soda.

I would get the fries, but the fries weren't that memorable to me.

But But my, I have like, actually, I have a core memory of eating a whopper at the mall.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

And that memory was.

It was just that I was eating it and being

just very amazed by the Whopper.

It's a core memory.

I like want to make funny brothers, but I also like, do, like, if I have like a Homer Simpson type memory when I like like think back, I'm like, I'm liking this.

Like, that is like, I do have many moments like that that don't necessarily have to be tied to family or friends, just like having a great memory.

It's tied to nothing, yeah.

It's tied to nothing.

It's tied to just, I'm having this Whopper.

And I remember riding the bus back home with my friend where I thought, I don't even need this friend here with me right now.

Like, he's not adding anything to this.

I could have done this alone with the Whopper and it would have been fine.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I was kind of like, I can't wait to be home.

That's funny to think back on a memory of a food you ate with a friend and to erase the friend from that memory.

Yeah, yeah, I was like, Yeah, I don't need this friend here, yeah.

And yeah, did he also have a whopper with you?

You know what made me um

resent him in that memory?

He didn't enjoy it as much as I did.

The whopper,

yeah, I think that's why, because he he yucked what I was very yum about.

Yes, and so this is Nick knows this.

This is all making a lot more sense now.

Yeah.

Nick knows this for me, but it is like, I was very excited that you liked the boneless buffalo fingers from

such a great mood.

I had like the fucking best night's, the tour was over.

I had a fucking fantastic night's sleep.

I had like a single alcoholic beverage.

So it was like my sleep was like not at all, you know,

like it wasn't hungover or anything.

And my sleep wasn't interrupted.

I just got like nine continuous hours, woke up feeling like a million bucks, got to walk around the city, got to ride the train.

I was in such a great mindset and I go in.

And you got good food.

And I'm having those Buffalo attendees and

I'm having some beers, some brew dogs with my, with my mates.

I'm having the time of my life.

It was great.

It was a great day.

And it's for me, it was important that he liked the food in that scenario.

I really wanted you to like it.

And Amelia,

I think in your defense, I think it was more so important that

Gabrius and I tried it with an open mind.

Sure.

Because you were like,

you know, you're maybe

characterizing it like you would have been mad if we didn't like it, but that's not how it felt in the moment.

That's more you just wanted us to experience it.

I wanted to experience it.

And I was very happy that you liked it.

Yeah, it was hidden.

And then also later, Amelia, you came to

Pizzeria Regina and

you did enjoy the Pizzeria Regina.

We loved it.

Yeah,

so good.

We had a good time.

Yeah, which is great.

Then you got some JP Licks as well.

That's delicious.

Yeah.

I'm so glad you got it.

Yeah, me and Gabris got some MCC mint chocolate chip.

Yeah, you didn't like that it was white.

The mint chocolate chip.

No, I did like that.

Oh, Gabris didn't like that it was white.

That was the issue.

Yeah, it died.

He likes to dye green.

I like it white.

White.

And then you, you go, what did you get?

You had a peanut butter sundae or some shit, right?

That was Gabris.

That was fantastic.

Anyways, it was a good, it was a good trip, but it matters to me when people

like food that I like.

And even I'm so specific when we go to Regina and I like have

food in the way I order it.

And in fact, the wives, we got a cheese pizza and we got a large cheese pizza and it was a little undercooked.

But the other ones with toppings on, I asked for them well done and they were great.

But I would have been, if you were there, I would have been mad.

You're watching Jemmy lick one of her two buttholes.

Oh, she licked my finger.

It was a real eye draw.

Oh!

My finger smells like Jemmy's butthole.

That's great timing.

She was like, oh, yeah.

You're going to talk about me licking my butthole.

So you love the Whopper.

You have history of the Whopper.

You're obsessed with the Whopper.

But I haven't had it since.

You haven't had it since.

Which was like 10 years ago.

Whopper is a fun because it's also like, look at that Whopper.

Whopper, something big.

Whopper.

Yeah.

Judge Whopper.

I think since that Whopper I had at the mall, I was like, you know what?

I don't need any more.

You were done with them at that time.

That's enough.

Hold on.

What?

What are your core memories?

And then you're just done.

I guess you can't.

I overdid it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think sometimes I overdo it and I had two Whoppers.

I think

many days in a row, I had two Whoppers a day.

Yeah.

And then I was like, that's enough.

In one meal?

Yeah.

Wow.

I'll have two.

I was in high school.

Yes, sure.

And I was playing sports.

So you're taking down two Whoppers and then at a certain point you're just like.

Like, that's enough.

Yeah.

I chased this high for too long.

That was like me with Cactus Cooler.

I got really into Cactus Cooler, and I was drinking it every day.

Yeah.

And then at a certain point, I was just like, I've had enough of these.

It's like, it's like playing a song so many times until you start to feel numb to it.

That's how I felt.

So, this was a good comeback from that.

So, as a comeback, I just recently played out the new Kanye track.

I listen to it way too many times now.

So, as the comeback of the Whopper, the return of the Whopper for you, how was the Dragon Flame Grilled Whopper hitting?

It was good.

You liked it?

It was good.

It was

less flavorful than I would want because of how colorful it was.

You know?

You more mean that

your taste buds weren't matching what your eye was doing.

Yeah, because for something to be so orange and red.

Yeah, red and orange marbled bun.

I want, yeah, I want the taste to be, to match that.

To me, it just tasted like bun.

Yeah.

There was purely an aesthetic difference.

It did not affect the flavor at all.

So I got...

We were talking about Dewenberg and we didn't know if you would want to do it.

Daniel had a core memory.

We had no idea we had a core memory attached to it.

So Saturday night, I was like, are we doing Burger King this week?

And I had a recorded podcast already today.

I was like, I'm going to be good and not get Burger King the day we do it.

And Saturday night, I just wanted, I wasn't craving a burger.

So Saturday night, I opened up the Burger King app.

I said, we're going to do it.

And he said,

and Millie, he said, hey, if we don't do it, you get Burger King for the night.

which turned out to be not a good thing because I ordered it from the app and it and from the time it left the restaurant, like, you know, on when you're tracking it on the app, yeah, which I do just think this is like a thing that just doesn't work with these delivery services because, like, they're going to pick up like multiple orders from, I should have gone and got it myself.

I was in the house, it was 9 p.m.

I was just like, I'm just going to order here.

What you did was defensible, but again, this is where we're dealing with that shitification of like they figured out how to min-max their profit margin on these delivery systems, and those involve people picking up multiple orders from multiple locations and dropping off multiple

people.

And where you are in that queue could mean that what happens

is what happened to you that night.

Which was 45 minutes.

45 minutes.

From the left

until it got to me, it was 45 minutes.

And like the ice cream I got, because I got everything from the meal was melted.

The drink, which I, when you're trying to get rid of your drink, I brought it in.

Oh, this is mine.

Thank you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I'll have it.

I kind of want to try it.

Can I try a sip of one of your guys' drinks?

Here, let me let me.

Andrea's handing it over to you.

Let me run down the whole menu because I mentioned.

I mentioned the dragon flame grilled whopper.

We also got the fiery dragon mozzarella fries, the

soaring strawberry lemonade,

which Mitch was just sipping right now, and the Vikings chocolate sundae.

But yeah,

let's start with the Whopper.

I agree that you want the bun to have some sort of

kick to it, something distinct flavor-wise, and it doesn't match that at all.

All you're getting is a whopper with bacon that's got a different colored bun.

And so that reminds me kind of like the sesame seeds on the you can kind of taste the not sesame seeds, but uh what's it called?

Uh what are they?

Areaway seeds?

Is that what they are?

They're not popping.

Are they not poppy seeds?

Black sesame?

Yeah, oh, maybe they are black sesame.

They are black sesame.

Yeah, yeah.

And those are

those are, you can kind of taste them, I guess.

I don't, they are they all that distinct flavor-wise from regular sesame seeds.

And here's, here's the other issue, which are on a whopper.

The actual whopper bun is better.

It's kind of like this one is like a little bit more like a firm.

It's like firmer.

Yeah, it's a little more processed, so it's a different texture.

So actually, you're right, Mitch.

That's the difference you were getting.

We were talking about texture earlier.

The texture is not as good.

Yeah.

It tastes just like a bun, but

it's like a thicker, you know, less less spongy bun.

It feels more foamy.

Right.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah.

And

the burger salt, like, it's that funny thing when I ate it.

Saturday night and then ate it again today.

I went wild today.

Yeah.

I'm on weight loss meds and I still went wild.

I went crazy.

I texted Amelia.

I was like, where are you?

Because I was coming from this other podcast.

And she was like, I'm about to pick up Burger King.

I was like, forget my order.

I'm going to go get my own order.

And I was, I was, I came, I got here at like two.

I got here early.

And I just wanted to, I was so hungry.

Yeah.

But my issue with the Whopper when I got here and I tried it and I tried at home too, but it was 40 minutes and it sucked and I barely ate any of it.

Yeah.

Was that it doesn't even really taste like a Whopper to me.

It just tastes like a weird, it tastes like a weird Burger King item that's not like the Whopper has a classic taste to me, and it doesn't have that classic taste.

I weirdly agree with you, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Me neither.

I don't know what it is either.

Maybe it's the bunch of it.

I think the bacon being in it is a part of it, and the bun being different.

But like,

is there no onions or something?

There feels like there's something missing.

No, all there are onions.

Yeah, tomatoes, lettuce, onions, pickles, ketchup, and mayo are all included by default as on a Whopper.

Yeah, I don't know.

It could also just be like, look, you eat with your eyes first, and it's just kind of disorienting, and it doesn't really resemble a whopper and you're expecting something else so you're like you're trying to like have the memory of a whopper as you're as you're eating it but it doesn't quite click i don't know i found it pretty unsatisfying honestly too which is why today

when i when i was before i got here my order was i got that dragon whopper again

and then i got a whopper with cheese meal wow as a control group as a control group And then also I got a cheeseburger as a third control group.

I ate the cheeseburger in the car.

The cheeseburger was actually sadly disappointing because I was was like, I remember eating the cheeseburgers when I was younger and they have like a flame, like the thing you like about Burger King is like the flame grilled taste.

And it just was, it just wasn't hitting the way I wanted it to hit.

It was okay.

But when I got here and I took a few bites of that, the dragon whopper, and then I was eating the control whopper.

The control whopper was pretty damn good.

And I was like, hey, it's up there with the Big Mac and everything for a reason.

It is still pretty damn good.

You know what I mean?

You can say what you want about Burger King, but the Whopper is good, right?

I love the Whopper.

And like the taste of

just the proportions of it and like the mayo and the ketchup and like all the ingredients.

It's just like it works well together in this in this new sandwich, just didn't have any of the equation was off.

Did the dragon want have cheese in it?

Yes.

Okay, I don't remember.

Yeah, it's weirdly bland.

And it's a whopper.

And I like the, and I don't think that the Whopper is bland.

I like, I love the taste of the Whopper.

It just wasn't giving that.

I know.

It was weird.

I kind of want, like, I'm curious, Andrew, you experienced this.

I feel like with the way my individual dragon flame grilled whopper was prepared, it was a little saucier than normal.

I feel like it had some extra condiments.

And I wonder if they just kind of slathered it together a little, or just like whoever was assembling this particular burger had a heavy hand.

Me too.

Mine was very saucy.

It was dripping out in a way that usually I like, but I didn't like it on this one.

No, it kind of overwhelmed everything.

Yeah.

Anyway, what I did really like were the fiery dragon mozzarella fries.

Those were our buddy Matt Singer, you know, reviewed this menu as well

was telling me this is the highlight.

And I fully agree.

I'll read the copy here.

In addition to bringing the flame, BK is bringing the heat with fiery dragon mozzarella fries featuring melty mozzarella cheese, peppers, and fiery calebries.

In addition to bringing the flame, BK is bringing the heat.

Is that what the flame is?

In addition to bringing the flame, BK is bringing the heat.

That doesn't make any sense.

Do they flame broil their bread?

They flame broil it.

That's what they're referencing.

That's what they're referencing.

But they both are heat.

I know.

Get me in that room.

I'll punch that up.

Yeah.

They're in chidification.

They don't care anymore.

They're like, just put flame and heat.

Fucking, I don't give a shit.

Melty,

melty mozzarella cheese, pepperons and fired flavoring, chili pepper, breading for the perfect fiery snack served in a one-of-a-kind, toothless-inspired carton.

It also comes with a zesty ranch sauce.

I like the sauce.

Love the sauce.

The sauce is great.

It's a good sauce.

And I'm a bit of a heat seeker.

I thought that these had some real kick to them.

Like, they weren't super spicy.

There certainly was no spicy dragon frame frame glowered whopper.

Yes.

I,

on Saturday night, I got the entire meal on Saturday night.

And

I,

the mozzarella sticks were not spicy at all.

And I questioned whether they even were the spicy mozzarella sticks.

Right.

And I didn't get the ranch.

I didn't get so, so, so I didn't get the spicy ranch.

What?

So I tried that spicy ranch for the first time here today.

And

I was like, oh, these have kick to them.

And I said that to you.

I was like, like for fast food item these are pretty spicy you had complete bullshit on saturday i did it was it sucked saturday sucked it was really really bad so i had to

i had to redo it today it was it was yeah i like the mozzarella sticks the mozzarella sticks were good they were good sauce it was good they were good and mozzarella sticks a fast food mozzarella stick is not easy to do so yeah i know i've never seen it yeah like fast food wise rbs will do them occasionally it but also i think the ranch dipping sauce because so often they'll give you a marinara or dipping sauce and it tastes not good.

Yeah,

it tastes like

what is the herb that it tastes like?

All the oregano?

Yeah, there's just like a

very heavy oregano taste.

I would generally like

a marinara dipping sauce with a with a proper mozzarella stick, but I think with this one, it would have felt a little asynchronous because they're going for a spicy kick.

Yeah, I think the Zesty Ranch was the right catch.

You do get what I'm saying when you,

when I just say you look like

you just look foolish saying things like that in the hat.

I'm sorry, it's just the truth.

And And I know.

I don't get what you're saying because you're wearing the fucking hat too.

I know I am.

Blast houses much.

What are we doing?

But just when you sit up and you're like, I actually do like a marinara with the hat on.

You look like a fucking, you look like a fucking idiot.

I'm sorry.

And I know I do too.

Is it because I have caught over head height now?

The crown?

Careful.

The orb is watching.

Whatever.

I think I'm doing fine.

You're all wearing the hat.

You're doing great.

You're all wearing the hat.

It's just for whatever reason.

You especially look like such a fucking idiot with the hat on.

I'm not trying to be mean.

Maybe it's because I'm dumber.

Remember, I'm the dumb guy.

So the hat on me doesn't have the same effect as it has on you.

It could be that.

Yeah, yeah.

You're an egghead.

Right, it's contrast.

Yeah.

All right.

I don't think it's mean.

Thank you.

It's actually a pretty normal thing to say.

You look like a fucking idiot with your horns sticking out.

You look like a fucking idiot.

I think it's neutral.

Yeah.

It is.

It's not that bad.

The soaring strawberry lemonade.

This is Sword in New Heights and Quench Your Thirst for Adventure with all new soaring strawberries.

It's a great thing to me, baby.

This is tasty.

It's a little sweet for you.

It's a little too sad.

It's a little too sweet, but it is tasty.

But that's hitting you with flavor.

That's like the Whopper is not hitting you with any flavor.

This is something.

Give me something.

And I do taste strawberry.

Yes,

100%.

Yeah, it has a...

I think it maybe has a strawberry compote that it is blended up with, although that's not in the copy here.

I think that.

Are you taking the train home today?

I'll pay you $100 if you wear that hat on the train.

$100?

$100.

If you wear this hat from here till when you got home, I think I could give you $100.

Whoa.

Do you want them to like FaceTime you the whole time?

I think we would need some sort of visual approval.

Okay.

I'll think about it.

All right.

Somebody else depend on what time we get out of here.

I also would feel so bad if they were like, a man was shot and killed on the train.

I mean, based on my typical LA Metro experience, me wearing a Burger King, how to train your dragon crown

in an individual train car, I'd be like the sixth craziest person there.

You wouldn't be that whole.

You wouldn't really stand out.

Is this a January 6th crossover?

Budget

Viking man.

I think

this is my issue.

I do think the lemonade is good.

In terms of theming, all we've done is affix the word or prefix the word soaring onto strawberry lemonade.

Like, what about this says the how to train your dragon IP?

I guess that it's got the cup, the cup is fast, but this is again, again, but red, it's it's it's

going for red, they're going for red.

But again, we're talking about things getting shitty, like, remember, we get to get collectible cups, yeah, or like I agree with you.

You just had a print on this disposable landfill cup, yeah, you know what they do with the most now is movie theaters.

You get like a bucket or something.

Those fucking suck, though.

A lot of those are like bad quality.

They are bad.

No, they're bad.

They're bad.

It's bad.

Make a good quality one.

I agree.

They should make a good quality one.

With a dragon with toothless on top.

That's that.

They do sometimes do stuff like that.

And those ones are decent.

But a lot of times it's just a metal bucket that sucks.

Yeah, a lot of them are really.

And they're poorly made.

That's the other thing.

They're just really cheaply manufactured.

We also got the.

Anyway, I do think that's a drink.

I do think it is tasty.

And it's not a thing I would regularly get just because I can't do things that sweet anymore.

And I cannot finish one of those.

But I think like it's, it's, it's, I think if I was a kid, I would love that.

Um, so I'll, I'll, I'll be popping.

I'm in bird mode.

I love that.

I want more of it.

That's that, that's fantastic.

As far as as far as the sweet side goes, the Vikings Chocolate Sunday.

Finish the adventure with Vikings Chocolate Sunday.

I get just no effort there.

Sure.

Vikings Chocolate Sunday.

What are you doing?

That's right.

I agree.

They were at the end of their meeting.

Just say Vikings Chocolate Sunday.

So there's Vikings.

And I don't care.

We want to go home.

This poor Burger King employee seems like he has a rough life.

So is there Vikings in the movie, I guess, right?

Is this?

Yeah, it's like Vikings and Dragons.

That's the horns on the crowns.

Oh, I thought they were dragon.

Adults.

I had no idea.

No, if you're a kid in the movie, you get a dragon eventually.

You get paired with a dragon.

It's like an avatar situation.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right, cool.

But they're Vikings, they have hats.

I might see this just because it's, it's, or wait, is it a it's not a Disney movie, right?

No, it's not a Disney.

All right, because so that for that reason, I might see the live-action How to Train Your Dragon movie, but I'm so sick of like animated to live action remakes that I don't, I can't care ever.

I agree.

I think they're, they're not going away because they seem to be incredibly profitable.

Are they?

I feel like some, I mean, Lilo and Sinch was huge, but then fucking smashed.

But then Snow White was a, was a, was a, I mean, you know, you know that I was protesting it, but for, but, but Snow White was a bomb.

There's like so many that have, have not worked.

I think that how to train your dragon live action from, like, it feels like that's going to be a blockbuster.

We'll see.

Yeah, it does feel like it's going to be big.

I, I also think that's just like, again, you know this, bitch, as well as I.

Like, Hollywood is so fucking lazy that the easiest thing they can do is mine their own catalog.

They're like, hey, we already own this.

I'm, hey, I'm, I actually remember this being made in my lifetime because I'm so fucking,

I'm an executive of one of these companies.

I have no imagination.

So I can't conceive of even something that I don't already have an existing connection to.

So it's like, we can take this thing that I already know, and then we can just make this again and make a similar amount of money.

It's like, it's like, because it's so unimaginative, that's why it's not going away.

But I also think that this one, there's the new How to Train Your Dragon land, right?

At the

new Orlando Park.

So they're really leaning into this IP, and I think that's partly why it'll be so successful.

Anyway,

I could see myself being dragon-pilled.

All that said, I'm going to watch all these movies, and I'm going to watch the live action.

The dragon itself is cute.

Like we were saying, it's a very

dragon.

He's a cute dragon.

The Vikings Chocolate Sunday, however, is a vanilla soft serve with Hershey's syrup and black and green cookie crumbles.

We were talking about green versus white when we were talking about mint chip earlier.

I see green.

I'm like, okay, this is going to have a little bit of a minty character to it.

No.

No.

It's just a green chocolate.

What are we doing?

It's just green chocolate.

Yeah, it's not even nuts.

It's green cooked.

Oh.

Oh.

Yeah.

Why green?

Well, I don't know.

For dragon, I think.

Are there green dragons?

The dragon is black.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Look, I'm not defending it.

I'm just telling you what I think what the thought process was.

Is it like grass?

Like for

do the dragons eat grass in the movie?

They don't.

I've never seen them eat food on the movie.

Wait, so what is the name of the product again?

It's a Viking.

Vikings Chocolate Sunday.

I don't know.

What does the description say?

Is there anything?

I read the description.

Finish the adventure with Vikings Chocolate Sunday, a delicious sweet treat featuring a vanilla soft serve with Hershey's chocolate syrup and black and green cookie crumbles.

Black and green.

I don't really get

what the tie is.

Maybe it's dirt and grass.

Maybe it's dirt and grass.

It might be dirt.

It might be dirt and grass.

Because I guess you think about that when you think about a dragon.

Sure.

I mean, you're not wrong.

I mean, that's what we're going for.

I've been, I'm still miffed.

I still like, I don't, I don't, like, it still feels like an A to C to me.

I'm miffed too.

Oh, good.

The Google overview just says that the green crumbles don't specifically represent Vikings, but add a whimsical touch inspired by the movie's dragon theme and green, mossy nature to the island where the Vikings are featured.

So it is grass, so you're right.

It's fucking grass.

I don't like that it's green.

I don't like that.

I don't like it.

Yeah.

I was saying that as like a ridiculous thing yeah

also just want to know that you said cumbles by the way

um i the fact that it is grass which that's that pissed me off that pisses me off

i don't know is that what it's supposed to be it's grass it's like represents the island the grass mossy beach around the bed where they live that is that's that is pretty stupid i like the sundae though it's good the sundae is it's a very basic sundae but it is kind of good i wanted more chocolate sauce.

Oh, mine had a lot of chocolate sauce, but mine was also melted and kind of a mess.

But it was like, oh, this is like good.

It's ice cream and Hershey's syrup.

I like that.

And little cookies.

So I didn't think it was bad.

Why?

Because are you still minting?

I'm trying to get some more info on what exactly the green tumble is supposed to be.

Were you, but again, we're returning to something we talked about earlier.

You're a bit of an ice cream skeptic.

Yeah.

But this ice cream, was it because of all the texture variations?

Yeah, I like the grass.

I like the grass.

Moss, the mossy grass.

And I did like the texture of the nuts.

I like, yeah.

I used to work at Dairy Queen, you know.

Did you really?

Yeah.

Did we ever talk about that on your last episode?

Wow.

I don't know.

Which Dairy Queen did you work at?

I worked at a Chillin' Grill.

Okay, so this is a place that has the hot menu.

Yes.

Because they don't all, some of them are treat centers and they just have the full menu.

Wow.

Yeah, everything.

Did you have a fake, like, like...

And we had cakes.

Was this where you were in school at the time?

Yeah.

I was 15.

What got you into, like, like, what made you choose Dairy Queen?

They, I heard they would hire 15-year-olds.

So,

not a lot of places would.

Yeah, sure.

So then I went and I, yeah, good job there.

Did you have a, did you have a favorite item from Dairy Queen, either to eat or to make?

The, uh, to eat.

I liked making the banana split.

That was fun.

That's fun.

That seems fun to me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I liked eating the

peanut parfait.

Oh, yeah.

That's great.

Yes.

Peanut voucher parfait.

I think I need a little nut, like a little grass, a little mossy texture to it.

That makes sense.

To enjoy the ice cream.

Ice cream by itself pissed me off.

Wow.

But some of the lab has got some mix-ins.

It's maybe got some.

I need a texture.

You don't want it.

Otherwise, it's just liquid.

Yeah.

Did the term Yaz Queen, did that exist when you worked at Dairy Queen?

Oh, yeah.

Because it would have been fun.

That would be fun if you worked there and that term existed that's annoying to me that it didn't yeah that's that kind of i'm sorry i'm sorry not to angry diminish your experience there but it's diminished

here's my question

as a dairy queen uh veteran yeah

like the thing that that to me is a showstopper from a customer standpoint is when they take that blitz that blizzard and they touch they turn that some bitch upside down you get to do that i did that every time i did it every time to be honest with you yeah did it ever come out i was about to say, so one time I made a blizzard and it poked through the cup.

So I had to double cup it.

And I forget that.

I forgot I double cupped it.

And then I did that and it popped.

It just plopped to the floor.

To the floor.

Oh my God.

And I was like, oh shit.

And

then I made another one.

I guess it's not that great of a skill.

No, but it's not a silver.

But it plopped out.

It plopped out.

The customer react.

She was like, oh.

Yeah,

she screamed because she's like, why would you do that?

And I don't know if it was her first time there because it did seem bizarre for me to do that.

Oh, sure.

Tip it upside down.

And she didn't know that you were doing the classic.

Yeah, maybe she didn't.

Maybe it was her first time.

Yeah, yeah.

That would be truly disoriented.

Yeah, because she was shocked that she was, couldn't.

So she thought you were just a weirdo who was like throwing it.

Yeah, but like, fuck you.

Yeah.

No, but it.

Because I felt that way because she was so in shock.

And then, and then the second time I made it again, I did it again.

And I think she was like, Why would you do that again?

Don't do it again.

But it was a good time.

I would be happy to get a new one, seeing that you went through the cup.

I would secretly be happy to have one that didn't go through the cup as well.

I don't know why I didn't just make a new one.

Sure, yeah.

Actually, that's a great question.

You should have, you probably should have.

I was, it was one of those days where I was like, come here.

I'm trying to get a whopper.

You're a 16-year-old kid.

I can't get what you did.

No, but I started to tip them very half-ass.

Like, I feel like I was taking it for granted, maybe, that doing that, because I feel like some people were disappointed

how little I tipped it.

I didn't even know.

I didn't even realize it was a thing that they...

You have to do it.

Are you supposed to do it?

It's company policy.

Oh, my God.

Is it really?

Yeah, you did to do it.

Yeah.

To prove that it's thick enough to withstand an upside-down moment.

I love it.

I think it's.

I know that you love it.

I think it's fun.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It is fun.

If they didn't do it, I'd be like, hey, can you, can you do it?

Can you do it?

What if I, what if you in line with your fucking how to train dragon crowd?

What if it flipped out?

What if it dropped?

I think I would get scared.

You would get scared.

And you'd be like, ah.

And just like the lady.

Yeah, I think I would.

And do you think that you would ask for a new one or do you think you would be running away?

I could see myself leaving.

Oh, you wouldn't wait for me to make another.

That'd be so weird.

Like, what's happening?

Yeah.

You're like, that's not supposed to happen.

That guy got scared and you left.

Well, look, a blizzard is a billion times better than this treat.

This is a small, fun treat.

Yeah.

That was okay.

I just, I, it's fine.

I don't know.

I thought it was really half-assed.

I looked up our buddy Matt Singer's screen crush article on how to train your dragon menu just to see if there's any more context on the Sunday.

And I'll just read a little bit of his.

Stock vanilla ice cream in a stock plastic cup with a stock drizzle of chocolate syrup and some cookie dust.

What makes it a Viking Sunday?

I'm not even sure why they made the cookie topping green.

I guess the Vikings Island was sort of mossy.

So, again, it's the same sort of thought process.

But you're having to do that as a consumer of like, like, what, like, you're having to do work on their behalf

to justify the cookie.

I can't believe you were right.

Because when you were like, it's like dirt and grass.

I was like, I didn't want to be right.

And you are right.

You were right.

And I remember eating it, being like, what is this shit on top of this?

Like, I thought it was pepper or something.

It looked like pepper.

And then I was like, did someone drop pepper on this by accident?

And did it give me a pepper?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm like, did they give me a pepper one?

And then I and then I wanted to try it.

So I tried it.

And I was like, oh no, it's like crumbled, I think.

And I was like, oh, it's green.

Why is it green?

Why?

If I went on any fog gas in the world and I got an ice cream, I was like, I think they spilled pepper on it.

I would be like, hey, is there pepper on this?

Like, what is what are you guys giving me?

That's so kind of you to still eat the ice cream.

I was like, it's fine.

I'll eat around the pepper.

But then at one point, I was eating around the pepper.

And then at one point, I was like, I'll try some of it.

And then I tried.

And then I had it.

I was like, oh, it's not pepper.

Oh, boy.

Yeah, yeah.

And that was one, and that's one of the better.

I honestly think that was one of the better items.

The strawberry lemonade and the and that.

Oh, you, the mozzarella sticks you liked a lot.

It was the most.

It's funny.

I think it's the most tenuous connection.

Yes.

To how to train your drag.

I think the big letdown, though, is that the Whopper just is not, it's just kind of nothing.

The Whopper, which is the sparrow of the show, is just kind of a nothing.

We should get to our final thoughts on

this particular LTO.

So, Andrea, you've done the show before, but we'll each go around, we'll give our closing argument on

the Burger King How to Train Your Dragon menu, and end it by giving a score from zero to five forks.

We begin with our guests, your thoughts, your fork score for the How to Train Your Dragon menu.

Okay, I

believe it

overall, overall

remarks on this, it's forgettable yeah forgettable but

i enjoy the colors

you know they're fun they are fun colors colors are fun

not enough texture like the sundae could have used more chocolate i mean okay i'll everything was almost there yeah but not quite yeah

And so I would maybe give it 2.5.

Two forks, two tines.

Yeah.

Right in the middle.

So are we judging this on

how to train your dragon meal?

If you want to give a Burger King fork score, canonically you can as well.

But usually when we do these

tie-in menus or

these special limited time offerings, we will do a score for that particularly.

I think, all right, good.

That's because now it's that changes.

That

really changes, drastically changes my fork score.

Yeah.

It's one of these things that we do and it's our first day back wag, seeing you.

It doesn't even seem that long.

Well, it hasn't been that long.

It hasn't been that long.

It's just, it's one of those days where

you do it and it's disappointing.

And because we have a fun guest, we have a good conversation, that saves everything.

But like, it's just like, what are we doing here?

You know what I mean?

It's one of those situations of like, I should fall back on

whatever, some other job and not do, we shouldn't do the podcast anymore.

We should pull marina, we should end, we should do a marin, we should pull a marin and end all this.

God, what an

inspiration from Marin.

Marin, the first time you've inspired me is by ending your podcast.

I can do that.

It's an option.

It's so nice to end the podcast

and do whatever else.

I don't know.

What are you going to do?

What are we going to do?

We're not really equipped for anything.

Bathroom attendance?

I have no idea.

I mean, we couldn't even do that.

I do a bad job of it.

Yeah, that's a fun job.

You can't make the bathroom smell worse.

that's a great point i i honestly was just thinking i spend a lot of time in bathrooms there's bathroom attendants that do great jobs and i wouldn't do that it's just it would be a good place to work um

you got distracted by jimmy got up to get some steps in

um

a good bathroom attendant imagine if head gum well you know what the speaking of underwear or a blanket or underwear that can conceal smell or sound you can't even get that here at the head gum because you can hear everything that happens in the fucking bathroom when you're in the fucking bathroom.

The headgum echo toilet.

The echo toilet drives me nuts.

What's she doing today?

Face.

Yeah.

It's just one of those things that you're like, this is not, this isn't fun.

This is not, this is no fun.

And do kids think this is fun?

I don't, I can't, it's not big enough, I feel like.

I guess maybe if they saw an orange burger, but like a what kids don't eat whoppers.

That's the other issue is that it's too big.

It's too big for them.

It's too big for a fucking kid.

Yeah.

It's gigantic.

So

for that reason,

for the tie-in,

God,

one and a half forks.

Wow.

I mean, not that great.

Oh, damn, the mozzarella sticks.

Maybe move it.

And they were spicy.

There was something there.

Yeah.

So maybe, maybe that move, that moves up to two.

So are you two?

That's 2.5, but I feel like I'm being generous to two somewhere in the two to two point fange is fair so i'll go two forks you'll go two forks for burger king itself flags i don't know we've gone we've gone all around we've gone all over the place we've said bk is back bk is back um

i think in my experiences in in the city

you know in the in with the city burger kings i think that they haven't been

they haven't been great um

and i like i said the glendale test the burbank test you're talking about going to like the LA's exurbs where you're more likely to get

a better individual franchise.

We were saying, yeah, it's that sort of thing of like,

it's funny to think of the Burbank, Burger King being more mum and pop or whatever.

Mum and pop.

But it's, but the one that I went to, the two I visited in this last week were bad.

And I'm going to go 3.75 forks out of the Golden Play Club for me.

For Burger King.

Yeah.

In general.

Yeah.

I think Burger King might still be a four-forker for me overall, like at large.

I just, I, first off,

I like that they have maintained the Impossible Whopper as a staple of their menu when so many of these other chains have completely discontinued their Beyond or Impossible or meat alternative options.

Burger King is like, no, the Impossible Whopper is here to stay.

And I also think that it's the best one of the fake meat, like fast food burgers.

The Impossible Whopper is a Whopper.

It absolutely gives me

what I want from that menu item just with less meat.

A little bit of an annoyance, and it's certainly a thing that I checked out with this one, and

it persists with Burger King's app.

You can't substitute an impossible whopper patty on other sandwiches.

You can do it in store.

You can ask them to do it, but you can't on the app say, like, make me the dragon flame grilled Whopper without the bacon and with an impossible patty.

So I could, because, you know, I just don't feel like eating the beef.

I don't need it.

But you're not allowed to do that.

So, that's a little bit of an annoyance.

That would be a nice thing for them to rectify.

But I like that Burger King maintains the existence of the Impossible Whopper.

The Dragon Flame Grilled Whopper, I thought, was pretty disappointing.

It doesn't seem to add anything.

And actually, I would say

this is the varietal test we end up with Mitch, where it's like, is this fancy new Oreo, is the red velvet Oreo better than the default Oreo?

And if it's not, you know,

it feels like a little bit of a missed opportunity.

That's certainly the case here.

It's like this could be an improvement on the default Whopper, but it's not.

It's actually like they added more components and

degraded its overall quality.

The Fire Dragon mozzarella fries, I thought, were delicious.

I thought they were delightful.

They were a lot of fun.

They were on point.

They were on brand.

Spicy.

They were spicy.

You know, I'm something of a heat seeker and they absolutely hit in that regard.

The sauce was great.

Soaring strawberry lemonade, yummy.

I didn't have very much of it, but

it's a good execution of it.

Vikings Chocolate Sunday.

I I mean, I'm going to echo something that you said, and I'm going to sound like Tim Bontemps on Hoop Collective.

What are we doing here?

Like, why is this one on

a part of this menu?

I guess they just want to have a sweet treat for kids, but it just has no tie-in to anything.

There's zero effort exerted on that particular media item.

But here's the thing that's going to make my fork score a little bit higher than both of yours.

It's the thing that is sitting on all of our heads, making me look like Professor Dipshit.

I think the coup de grace, the little bit of

the cherry on top of the how to train your dragon Burger King menu is the existence of the how to train your dragon crown.

And if I'm a kid and I'm going to Burger King and I'm getting this crown with some horns on it, I'm having a great time.

I don't even give a fuck what I'm eating.

And that to me pluses up the overall menu so much that I'm going to give this three forks.

Wow.

Wow.

The crown came through.

All right.

Can I say one last thing?

I got Havzies, which is half onion rings and and half fries.

And I just want to say that the integration of the fries and onion rings is not well done.

They throw like three onion rings on top of the fries.

You have some issues with integration in general.

Jesus Christ.

Also, I do want to say this.

When I said a fallback career for us is bathroom attendants, it's because we spend time in bathrooms.

Yeah, I'm with you.

Not that we'd be good to.

I want to give a shout out to bathroom attendants in general.

That's a tough job.

Because it's a tough job, and I was not speaking down about it.

And I feel like I just want to rectify this for a second.

You're an ally of the working class.

I'm a fan of the working class, but also there's been numerous occasions where the bathroom attendant has saved my ass.

And we've talked about this before.

We were at a wrestling show,

and

let's just say I was having tummy troubles.

The restroom attendant at an indie wrestling

wrestling show, I have never worked a job that hard in my life.

Oh, my God.

I can't imagine worse fucking.

Yes, the people, it was like a bunch of of guys who fattest, smelliest guys.

I was about to say a bunch of guys who looked like me.

But I was having trouble and the guy knew it and he hooked me up so much.

He was great.

Like,

he was like, he was doing a lot of different things.

That's all I'll say.

Oh.

He made it sound a little sexy.

He didn't wipe me or anything.

He just, he was doing a lot of, he was doing a lot of stuff.

I got you, bro.

Get up on the table.

He was pretending.

He he was like watching out for me and hey there's someone in there and like uh

i and like uh i was like constantly flushing anyways because that's what i was doing but he was like spraying some stuff he was like doing he was like he was like on top of stuff yeah

i've been saved by bathroom attendant they gave me gum and stuff yeah no

i had i think a lot of onion yeah

that's huge too they gave me gum there's there's can there was candies in there which uh which i guess the gum is the better root yeah than candy or whatever from the best probably the move where would you put onion on like your vegetable and fruit rankings onion up there for me you put it towards the top I love onion.

Yeah, maybe like five five okay.

All right, we don't have time to go through what one through four are

Hey, uh, that was our review of the Burger King How to Train Your Dragon menu.

It's time for a segment.

I've got a mystery pie, and Mitch and Andrea must define a series of clues to ID this sweet treat.

The winner gets the pie.

The loser goes home empty-stomached.

This is Pie in the Sky.

I started eating pie pie, which one is in this guy.

Baked a pastry that was tasty, but a mystery, which kind.

And Andrea and Mitch were giving it their best try.

Guess if this will be the type of this pie.

This will be the type of this pie.

Okay, so the clues go from more obscure to more obvious.

You should have seen our face when you finish the song.

Not at all.

So the clues start off more obscure, and as we progress, they go.

It's a stupid show.

You remember from last time.

It's a bad show.

You have two lifelines, the smell test, which you can smell the mystery pie, and ask Emma.

You can ask Emma if she has an opinion.

And Andrea, as our guest, you get to go first or second.

I'll go first.

Wait.

Good choice.

You have long COVID, though.

Does that affect you?

I know.

It's not fair.

Luckily, my smell has not been affected,

but that is a good point.

Yeah.

I should be able to put my fingers in the pie, I feel like, Wax.

Yeah,

I think you should.

Wait, fingers in the pie?

I think I should be able to feel the pie.

Mitch can touch the pie.

All right, perfect.

Okay.

But then I feel like you're claiming it because you're not going to want to eat it afterwards.

I don't think that's necessarily true.

I think just my fingers in it.

have it.

All right, Andrew, wait, are you going first or second?

I'll go first.

You'll go first.

Okay.

First clue.

This sweet pie was made possible by Lorenzo Doe Baker, a sea captain who brought its main ingredient from Jamaica to Boston in the late 1800s.

Kind of a crazy thing to be like

a part of pie history and have the last name Doe Baker.

Yeah, well,

wild.

Maybe it's pronounced.

It's spelled D-O-W.

Maybe it's maybe it's pronounced Dow.

Yeah.

Lorenzo.

Wait.

This sweet pie was made possible by Lorenzo, a sea captain who brought its main ingredient from Jamaica to Boston in the late 1800s.

Wait, I'm going first by answering that.

Yes, if you have a guess.

You're trying to guess the pie.

I'm trying to guess the mystery pie.

Lorenzo.

Yeah.

Is that

what kind of person is the Lorenzo Dow Baker or Doe Baker?

Is that

Spanish?

I'm not sure.

I think, I would guess the last time.

He was American.

Oh, he was American.

Okay.

Okay.

Oh.

He brought this fruit.

To Boston.

Main ingredient.

It just says main ingredient from Jamaica to Boston in the late 1800s.

Jamaica to Boston.

Jamaica.

I have thoughts of what it is.

Maybe.

I have no clue in my head.

You can take any guess or you can pass.

Or you also have your two lifelines, the smell test, and ask Emma.

There's rounds.

More rounds.

Yeah.

So he's going to be a question that's easier next and then you a question that's easier after that.

Okay, can I do smell?

Yes.

All right.

Andrea is invoking the smell test lifeline.

Emma is walking over a paper bag with this mystery pie.

Yeah, I wonder how much we'll be able to get a whiff.

Okay, so the pie is

ever done the smell test.

Really?

We've We've invoked the smell test.

It just smells like sugar.

Just smells like sugar.

Apple.

It's not apple pie.

That was my guess.

That's not an apple pie.

Right now, in my head, I was like, is this like some sort of like upside-down pineapple pie or something?

But that's a cake, though, too.

It's upside-down pineapple cake.

My thought is that it's some sort of rum pie.

Um, but but go ahead, Wagner.

The next clue, yeah.

Walt Disney once said, I function better when things are going badly than when they're as smooth as this essential topping for this sweet pie.

Smooth as this for this silk, a silk pie?

I don't know.

That's the smooth as silk, smooth as

smooth as.

I don't know.

That's a candy.

Smooth.

Yeah, I mean, I mean,

I mean, my first thought with Jamaica to Boston is it's some sort of rum

rum pie or, you know,

yeah, pineapple.

Pineapple rum pie.

I don't know if that's even a thing, but I do want to guess it because that's like, well, it does sound good.

I don't know.

I mean,

Emma,

I'm going to say that.

Emma, what are you thinking?

Did you know what it is?

You don't know what it is.

I do know what it is.

I think in the past I didn't know what it was.

Yeah, so if Emma knows what it is, then maybe

that taints me.

You can't ask Emma Lifeline.

I was going to say you're on the right track with a fruit.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

You know what?

That actually works as a vague clue.

Yeah.

I'm going to say pineapple pie.

I don't know, but that's that's oh

are you sticking?

Are you staying with pineapple pie?

Coconut cream pie?

It's not coconut cream pie.

Okay.

Andrea, the next clue goes to you.

Come.

This sweet pie is quite appealing.

And if you make one,

you'll be doing some appealing.

Appealing.

That's why you go first, by the way, because the third question is insane, or the third clue is fucking insane.

Yeah.

Is it banana?

Andrea, you have one pie in this pie.

It's banana cream pie.

Wow.

Thank you.

I actually am sad.

I want that pie so bad.

Please.

I'll share the pie.

Oh, wow.

What a nice gesture.

That is a nice gesture.

Let's share the pie.

I would love to share the pie as we take.

This is great, Wax.

Does Wags get some or just you and I?

No, no.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Let's do a three share.

Wow.

Classic three.

Where's this pie from?

Oh, wait, hold on.

Coconut.

Coconut just drops of cream on your die.

I mean, banana cream, you were close.

I get it.

A tropical fruit.

It's very good.

This is from House of Pies in Los Feliz.

I don't like House of Pies.

Classic pie.

A little crust in here.

House of Pies, obviously,

people will call it a Roach Coach sort of place for,

I'm not saying that about the pie.

In fact, sorry, I fucked up here.

The people call it a Roach Coach because it's like just like a shitty diner.

Oh, this is like a full piece of banana.

Yeah.

It's like it's like a shitty diner, but if you're in the mood for a dessert and you swing by House of Pies and get yourself a slice of pie, they have great pies there.

Yeah, you'll be sitting pretty.

Classic sort of pie joint.

I've never had pie.

Yeah, you go for the pie, not the rest of the menu.

I gotta say this: that is very good, but they should have mushed up the banana more.

Yeah, it's a whole banana.

It's a whole banana.

I like the banana slices, but it's like a whole banana.

No, it's like a it's like a

there's like a tube in there.

Like, look, it's a tube.

It's a banana tube.

Oh, that's kind of a half-assed execution.

Yeah.

Should at least slice it.

Yeah.

They did, but they make a good

chocolate, like a mud pie there.

it's great

can i read my next clue because i thought it was good yeah

overheard at the yellow fruit orgy

finishing me i want you to blank pie me

that's funny that's pretty good now hold up there's a few things here

it's crazy

clue clue number three was so insanely just what it was yeah and also she said banana and didn't even say banana cream and you still just gave it to her

Close enough.

What other banana pieces are?

I meant banana cream.

I meant that.

Banana cream pie, me.

Yeah,

I got the last part of it.

The last one.

The main ingredient in this pie could perhaps be a minion's favorite thing to say.

Banana.

That's it.

I love that.

Yeah.

Banana.

Do you think we would have gotten to that clue?

We might have.

Hey, just like a restaurant buyer feedback, let's open up the feedback.

Today's email is from Mary from West Virginia.

Mary writes:

I became a vegetarian in high school essentially because someone said they didn't think I could do it, and I had to prove them wrong.

If someone doubted your resolve, what food would you give up out of spite?

Thanks for all the laughs.

P.S.

I was at your Boston show and I laughed so hard during Let Me Be Frank, my favorite segment that I cried.

PPS, if this gets read before June 10th, my husband Matt, who introduced me to Dough Boys, will be on Jeopardy, so I want to plug his episodes for everyone.

Wow.

Doughboys, Doughboys, a Jeopardy clue

in recent years, and

Matt, a Doughboys fan on Jeopardy, a Jeopardy contestant.

So good luck to you, Matt.

And PPS.

This won't air before June 10th, though, will it?

It will be out next Thursday.

So it will.

He's going to be on Jeopardy tomorrow.

Oh, wait.

He's on Jeopardy tonight.

Well, he's on Jeopardy tonight.

He was on Jeopardy two nights ago.

He was on Jeopardy two nights ago.

Check out that episode.

Shit.

PPS for Mitch.

This is my cat, Marie.

And let me bring up this pic of Marie here.

I love to see Marie.

But while we are doing this, do we have

a thought of like, hey, if I was going to give up a food for spite, like someone thinks I couldn't do it and I'm going to give it up, what would we pick?

That, by the way, still good, that pie.

It still

is really good.

Give up a food for spite.

So as in, like,

I love it.

And

people would doubt that I could do it.

Yes.

The prompt was that this person, Mary, became a vegetarian because someone they knew said they think they couldn't do it.

They didn't think they could do it.

So it's like, I'll prove you wrong.

I think for me, oh, God.

There's Marie if you want to look at that cat.

Very cute cat, Marie.

That's cute.

Andrea, are you

a cat, a friend of cats at all?

Kind of.

I've never had a cat, but

I think they're fine with me.

All right.

Well, there you go.

Yeah, they're okay with me.

usually they won't they won't in my in my experience cats won't like uh wally and armor are a little afraid of men but women they're fine with like like like if you're not like an aggressive person a cat will like you okay yeah but some of them can have tudes a lot of cats can have tudes um

i i think that i

i couldn't give up pizza That's like one I couldn't.

I'm thinking of things I couldn't give up.

So if I'm like, Mitch, you could never give up pizza.

I'd be like, you're right.

You wouldn't call my bluff.

No, I'd be like, no, you're right.

I can't.

You're right.

I think for me.

You're such a weak man.

You could never give up pizza.

You're right.

Well, I can't.

That would be the answer.

You're right.

My thing is like, what is the thing that I like so much that I could still give it up?

But then does that mean?

that you don't like it as much and this is it's interesting because i i didn't eat meat for an entire year that was part that was not to prove a point i mean i guess it was kind of to prove kind of to myself i mean i was kind of being like you can't do that and then you did so it was maybe a little bit of a spite.

But, but I try to, like, I could do that for like a month.

I wonder how long I could go without meat.

Like, I could go for maybe a little while.

But this sounds like Mary, this was a, this became a vegetarian.

Like, this has become a permanent life choice

basically because of a dare.

Like, is there anything you can commit to on that level?

My answer is no.

No.

Like, if someone was like, no Doritos for you, I'm like, I love Doritos.

I want to eat them all the time.

And I like, if it was like, I don't think I could go five months without eating.

I don't just don't think I could.

It's like one of the things, when I get a sandwich, I want a bag of Doritos.

That's what I do.

Do you remember what you sacrificed when we did My Snacrifice?

I think I sacrificed a specific brand of Doritos.

Oh, okay.

I think it was almonds.

I mean, that's fucking easy.

Almonds.

Yeah.

And then I think like Mickey's bars.

We gave up some sort of candy.

Yeah.

Forget.

We haven't done a My Snack Rifle in a while.

Maybe we'll do it this year.

Yeah.

And we should set a term.

It would be interesting if we did it for like a month and we did no meat or whatever.

I think for me, a thing that I like genuinely love and could go, and it's, I think, a part of being older, is like fried food.

Oh, yeah.

And they're like, wait, do Doritos count, though?

Because they are fried chips.

I think they do.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's fried.

Are they baked?

Yeah, you could do baked chips.

Baked chips.

I think if someone was like, you can't, like, you can, for spite, but again, this is like a short-term thing.

Doritos are both baked and fried.

They're baked first and then fried.

Hmm.

Maybe French fries themselves, then.

How's that?

Give up fries.

I like that answer.

Yeah, yeah.

You couldn't give up fries.

Yeah, well, yeah, I could.

Yeah.

Are you kidding me?

Yeah, I'm pathetic, but I could give up fries.

I guess you'll show me.

There we go.

And then I would do it.

Okay, for sure.

How long are we talking about forever?

Forever.

Oh, no, fuck that.

That's just stupid.

I don't want to give up everything for anything forever.

We were talking.

I was thinking through things I couldn't give up.

And I honestly think it would be like, as much as I like burgers, I think it'd be tougher for me to just permanently give up hot dogs.

Because there's sometimes I just specifically want a hot dog.

Like, I feel like I just have such a,

maybe it's because it's like I have a childhood association with it, but there's somebody that's like, fuck, I really want a hot dog right now.

I could give up hot dogs for a year.

Yeah, me too.

I could give up hot dogs for a year.

Yeah.

I mean, I absolutely could do that.

Could we give up burgers for a year?

I could not.

Yeah, I could.

No, I couldn't.

I couldn't give up a burger for a year.

Pizza and burgers, I couldn't give up.

But like, I'm thinking, like,

what would you test me with?

Water.

I couldn't give up water.

I know, I know.

I couldn't give up.

Ice cream.

Ice cream.

I think that's a good answer.

Coffee's a good one.

Ice cream is a great answer for him.

Here's the thing about coffee, though.

It would be tough for me to give up coffee, but I do think that's that's the kind of thing.

I could make it a health argument for that.

It was just like, I'm giving up coffee, so I'll start to feel.

Yeah.

I know one for you, too.

Milk.

Milk, yeah.

Milk is tricky.

Ice cream, I think, is a good answer because I think ice cream is a genuine challenge for me.

It is my number one dessert.

And I think if I was going to prove someone that I could go without ice cream.

You didn't give up ice cream, you pathetic little fuck.

I'll show you, Mitch.

I'll give up ice cream.

I'll never eat ice cream again.

That's not true.

You can't do it.

Whoa.

Now

I want to do it.

Now maybe I think, maybe I'll never eat ice cream again because of this.

You have so little joy in your life.

Why are you going to get up ice cream?

Maybe I'll do it.

You know what?

Don't do it.

Don't do it.

I'm just thinking of your lovely wife.

You're going to go get an ice cream on your way home.

You and your lovely wife.

That's also a good call.

You and your lovely wife like to get ice cream together once.

That's nice.

It is nice.

And I'm just like...

In my mind, I'm like, what can she enjoy doing with this man anymore?

I have no idea.

You go to movies together and you get ice cream.

These are some of the

activities.

Those are nice activities.

Why would you

can't give up ice cream?

I don't think she'd be bothered that much.

She'd be all right with it.

She'd be like, whatever, and be eating a huge Sunday right in front of me.

I mean, it wouldn't affect her, I'm sure.

But you wouldn't be sad.

You have so what things do you enjoy?

Not the show.

Not the show.

I do like watching movies.

Yeah.

I like playing video games.

Could you give up movies?

That's crazy.

To what end?

Yeah, why?

Why would I do that?

I was just saying, could you give up movies?

You give up movies.

You couldn't give up movies, you pathetic little fuck.

Could you give them up?

Probably couldn't.

I don't think I could.

I'm just thinking that, like,

what a big hole in my life that would be if I even just like took a year without movies.

Like, why would I do that?

Can you imagine?

It would suck.

People would be like, I just watched this, and then you'd be like, what's that yeah it's like hey well i'm not watching movies and right now they're like

does movies trump every like that's my question is like would you rather give up

like peats for me pizza and burger let's just throw jacking off in there fine

would you rather give up jacking off thank you way up there

if someone was like you have to give up doritos or movies what would you pick

i would give up doritos i give up doritos too i mean it would be it would be so hard for me but i was like i'm like what food i give up jacking off before movies.

What?

I think I would also give up jacking off.

I think I would give it up.

And then some days I'd wake up in the morning, be like, ooh, something happened last.

You know what I mean?

The return of wet dreams.

Did the wet dreams come back?

Oh, yeah, maybe.

Maybe.

And then

cheating?

Nocturnal discipline.

No, that's not.

No, you can't

cheat.

You can't control that.

Magical things start happening.

Yes.

You might get powers.

Also, when you're, I'm

like very clear.

I think think also if you got to get some loads out, you just got to become a fuck machine.

Yeah.

That's powerful.

Well, that ain't happening either.

When you're 40, you get it.

When you get older, there can be time that you go without doing that, and it's fine.

I would genuinely give up jacking off before giving up movies.

It would be easier for me to do, do No Nut November than

No Movie November.

Yes.

Wow.

I think so.

Yeah, yeah, I agree.

I think so.

Interesting.

I agreed.

And also, I just would cheat anyways.

So who cares?

And jack jack off?

Yeah, just jack off.

Like, I'm doing really well.

I'm not doing it.

You're like getting other people to jack you off.

You can't prove.

Yeah, you can't prove it.

Yeah,

you can't prove shit.

You're going to take fucking, you're going to check my sperm levels.

Yeah, whatever.

Check your sperm levels.

I'd be like, I have low sperm levels.

Which is probably true anyway.

I do like, look,

I I do like, I like watching movies.

I like playing video games.

I like reading.

I love walking.

I like working out.

I like

video games.

I like basketball.

If you were like Doritos or video games for the year, I probably would give up video games.

I give up Doritos.

That's easy for me.

See, there's no,

for movies, there's maybe no food that would top it.

Pizza is probably the closest to a thing that I would maybe.

I couldn't give up movies, though.

I would just have to stop eating pizza for the year and I'd be pissed because I love pizza.

But I think movies I couldn't give up.

Video games, I could give up.

I didn't play video games basically last year.

What if we went beyond?

That's that's wild to me.

But actually, I think that that may be good for you just because I know you get very obsessive with video games.

Yeah, so I understand why you didn't do that.

Yeah, it's too much.

Yeah, I can't.

Yeah,

I'm in the middle of a Bilatro run right now.

I stopped to do that.

Amelia got you back on it, and that's not good.

It's not a good thing.

I didn't need to do anything to get him back on it.

He just did it.

He did do it himself, basically.

You said you told me you were playing Bilatro, like you're like, on in the show.

No, you asked me if I was, and I said no.

And we

started playing again.

I still think that shared some responsibility for turf.

Yeah, you too far.

That's fine.

I'm going to start again, too.

Andrea,

going back to the food side of the prompt, is there a food that, like, again, someone could challenge you to

give up that just purely out of spite, purely to prove a point, you would give up?

I can do it.

I can do dessert.

Dessert in general.

Yeah.

It's all out the window.

I can do it.

You're not just making a food stuff, you're baking in a category.

Yeah.

You just very much enjoyed that banana cream pie.

I love dessert, and I'll always, sometimes I'll have a meal just to have dessert, but I can do it, I think.

Wow.

No doughnuts?

Yeah.

Wow.

No sweet treatment.

I think I could do it.

Wait, forever?

I think that's what the question is.

Who gives up anything forever?

Yeah.

Mary, apparently, from West Virginia.

Vegans, vegetarians.

Yeah, yeah.

Monks?

They come back around sometimes too, though.

Man, don't you ever think about just being a monk?

No.

I think about it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Why?

It just feels like there's something to like just like having such a simple, regimented life.

I get that.

Just give up everything.

Serene and tranquil.

It's kind of nice.

Yeah.

Don't want anything.

Wouldn't you want like AC and stuff like that?

I don't know.

You just get used to not having it.

Wait, I think they can have AC.

Can they have AC?

I think they can have.

I've seen monks with phones.

Can monks watch movies?

That was my question.

I think monks can watch a movie.

I think the main point of monk is like living in a temple and meditating a lot.

Yeah, that sounds nice.

Shaving your head and sweeping.

I think giving up like material things for the most likely.

They have phones.

But I don't think they desire for material things.

I just don't want it.

Yeah.

Okay.

They need it, but they don't need it.

Then that is desirable.

I feel like.

Yeah.

I would say.

Simple.

How much do you get paid for a monk?

I don't think you get paid.

What's the dollar?

How high can I go

on the monk hierarchy?

If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail, 830.

Go to that, 830-4636-844.

Our producer is Emma Erdbrink.

Our associate producer is Amelia Marino.

Our supervising video producer, Casey Donahue, our video editor, Mike Dorfman.

Doughboys apparel, merchandise at kinshipgoods.com slash Doughboys.

And the Doboys Double Our Weekly Bonus Episode over at patreon.com slash Doughboys.

Andrew Jen, the podcast is the baby goat podcast.

Tell everyone about it and anything else you'd like to plug.

And thanks for having me back.

Thanks for having me.

I just

follow me online.

I'll post food.

I post food.

Oh my God.

I had a really good peanut butter jelly sandwich last night at Cantors.

Wait, that's what you got at Cantors?

Yeah.

That's so funny because you said Cantors had really fallen.

I had no idea you got a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

The food was great.

But the food was good?

Yeah, well, because I got a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I ordered two.

I had two.

Wait, hold on.

Wasn't the whole story that canters had was not, and was in pretty bad shape?

In that it's not well attended.

But

I had a great time.

Gotcha, gotcha.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

What kind of bread did you get it on?

Eggbread.

Okay, two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on egg bread to a side.

Chips.

Two sides of chips or just one side?

Two sides of chips, but I didn't finish the chips.

Right.

So you had two.

You're like, I want two meals.

I had the first one.

Yeah.

And it was ordered by someone else, my friend.

And then I took half of his.

And I was like, oh, this is so good.

And I got another one and I ate the whole of that one.

And he was like, I thought you were going to give me the other half because you took my half.

I said, no, I ordered.

That was for me.

The second one was for me.

You could have ordered another one.

So you didn't order anything?

Your friend shared their meal with you.

You had half of it.

I had a matzo ball soup on my own.

Got it.

And then he ordered a

peanut butter jelly sandwich.

I'd be so mad at you.

This is insane.

I would get so mad at you.

No, but you took half my sandwich and then you ordered another one and didn't give me the other half of it.

But that was for me.

I ordered it for myself.

Yeah, no, I don't.

But he ordered his sandwich for himself.

But I wanted this.

Sure.

Did he offer it to you or did you ask for it?

I asked for it.

I was like, ooh, can I have half?

This is insane.

I was like, ooh, can I have

so good.

Can I have half of that?

And he said, yes.

He's like, of course you can have half of it.

And then I had half and

oh, it's so good.

Give me another one.

And I ate both of the other ones.

And he looked on the plate.

He's like, I thought you were going to leave me the other half.

Yes, that's the most normal

response.

Yeah, yeah.

All right.

Well.

But did you post a picture of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

Mm-hmm.

Wait, I'll show you.

Do you ever do ever do the thing?

I used to love doing this as a kid.

I can't really do peanut butter anymore, but when I have a PBJ,

I would throw.

That does look quite toothsome.

That looks good.

That's a good one.

That looks good as hell.

I get some chips on the side.

I'll throw those chips inside that PBJ.

Yes.

A little bit of crunch.

I never did that.

I don't mix it up like that.

It's too much for me.

Great textural.

I like it.

I don't like it.

Anyway, oh, yeah, follow me online.

I'll post peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I hoarded.

And yeah, Andrea Jin.

Oh, yeah.

My podcast is just, we're talking about stuff.

Awesome.

That's great.

That's what this is, too.

That's all.

Talking about stuff.

I love it.

Thank you for having me.

Thank you for doing it.

Hey.

Oh, you go.

I was going to wrap it up.

No, wrap it up.

Yeah, why not?

Well, that about does it for today's episode.

I hope you all had a good time.

Check us out next time on the Doughboys podcast.

Good night, everyone.

Who's this guy?

See ya.

Bye.

That was a head gum podcast.