Planet Hollywood with Griffin Newman and David Sims

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At the 64th Academy Awards, host Billy Crystal made perhaps his most memorable entrance, wheeled onto the stage on a hand truck wearing a straight jacket and muzzle in reference to one of the night's multiple nominees, Jonathan Demi's Silence of the Lambs.

As the assembled glitterati roared with delight, Crystal playfully invited star Anthony Hopkins over for dinner and then quipped, I look like the goalie for the SAG hockey team.

It was a fitting opening for a night that would be dominated by Silence of the Lambs, which went on to win five Oscars, including Best Picture.

And it capped off a remarkable run for the surprise critical and commercial hit of 1991, which made a pop culture icon out of serial killer Hannibal Lecter.

Silence of the Lambs had finished fourth at the box office that year, behind Home Alone and ahead of Crystal's own film, Midlife Crisis Cowboy Comedy City Slickers.

And while moviegoers were quoting Hannibal the Cannibal's line, I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti, another cinematic dining experience of sorts grabbed headlines, a new chain restaurant concept from Robert Earle, who partnered with 90s superstars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, and Demi Moore to make the Hollywood equivalent of Hard Rock Cafe.

On October 22, 1991, the celebrity restaurant staged a flashy red carpet opening in New York City's Times Square, but the chain ultimately proved a bust at the culinary box office.

By 1999, it had declared bankruptcy, a victim of Earl's overly aggressive expansion plans and hubistic decision to launch an IPO.

Today it is down to just three locations, Disney Springs in Orlando, Doha Cotter, and a newly reopened Times Square iteration, which had shuttered during COVID.

But with its trademark wall of movie memorabilia swapped out for more cost-efficient immersive video installations, will this be another tepidly received Hollywood requel?

This week on Dough Boys, live from Headgum, New York, Planet Hollywood.

Welcome to Dough Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host,

Big Trouble and Little Penis.

Jesus.

The Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell.

Wigs.

Yeah.

I like that movie.

Not the fake movie, but I like the actual movie.

Grady would like the fake movie.

I maybe would like it.

Representation matters.

I woke up in the middle of the night murmuring this to myself, and I thought maybe it was meant for Mitch.

Past Doughboy's double guest, Patrick Babbitt, sent that in.

Patrick.

Tisk, tisk, Patrick.

Roastedbirdfuck.com.

Wow.

Patrick just had a birthday.

Happy birthday, Patrick.

Wow.

You keep track of the birthdays?

I keep track of birthdays.

Why, of course.

After all, he's a birthday boy.

That's true.

That's true.

Was that the setup?

No.

Oh, wow.

You just pulled that off.

Waking up in the middle of the night, murmuring big trouble and little penis to yourself.

Like, is that podcast?

Are you listening to too many podcasts?

That might be what's going on.

A doctor.

Yeah, that could be.

Yeah.

Just

big, big trouble in Little Penis.

Big trouble in Little Penis.

I

have a group text with some some of my oldest friends who are all big Doughboys fans.

Wow.

It's one of the things that has helped us continue to stay close over the years.

What's it called?

Cute little name?

It's called Bucks Rock Boys.

It's my summer camp friends.

Summer camp friends.

Summer camp friends.

I love this.

Like, basically, my oldest, closest friends that I've stayed continuously in touch with.

But Doughboys, especially during the pandemic, was a thing that we could regularly check in on.

You know, if you're looking at your summer camp friends and Jason has entered the chat,

how scary would that be?

What would he text?

You know, I don't know.

I was, I don't know, what is Jill?

He does.

It's just shuffling, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, but that, yeah, that noise.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We used to say chi chi chi, ka, ka, ka.

Chi, chi, chi, ka, chi, chi, chi, chi, chi, ka, ka, chi, chi, ka, ka, yeah.

My friend Alejandro in the group text maybe about a year or two ago was like, I want to put forward a theory I've been working on for a long time.

I think Mitch's penis being small is a bit.

And I was like, What do you mean?

And he's like, I keep going back to the story of the dog biting his penis because he thought it was

a dog toy.

Yeah, yeah.

And that makes it sound like there's enough to bite to mistake it.

And my response to him was, if it is a bit, he's doing a great job of upholding it in 3 a.m.

texts.

At 24/7 bit.

Private text.

One-on-one conversations

where he seems very insecure.

Here's a night.

Here's what I'll say.

Preamble during dates.

It's Kauffman-esque.

Just so you know.

I'll never share.

You know, hogs are, you know, hogs are

what an extremity they are.

They're one of the most fascinating things

of

our bodies, Wags.

They are one of the most fascinating things of our bodies.

I agree.

Well said.

You know, sometimes they can get bigger and sometimes they can get smaller.

It's true.

This is getting trumpy.

You know, where he just kind of starts musing, goes into musing mode.

We love hogs.

Sometimes they get bigger.

And I have two boys, two baby boys, right?

Twin sons, right?

Right.

And one of them grabs his dick every single time you take the diaper off.

The other one hasn't done it at all.

And they're only nine months old.

And I'm already seeing like this is different, you know, different approaches.

Approaches.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like he grabs it like in modesty.

He's like, excuse me.

No, he's just like, what's that?

You know, like every single time.

Mitch, what's your approach when you get changed?

Or you're going to say something else.

I was just going to say, like, we're this far into the podcast.

We have not acknowledged that we're in New York.

What?

Big Apple.

This is, for the first time, we're recording in studio at Headgum, New York.

This is that.

First time ever.

Yeah, we've never been here.

New York.

Yeah.

New York.

You've done a lot of

tour shows here, but you've never done an in-studio recording.

At any of Headcum's offices over the last eight years.

Yeah, you got to give it to HeadGum New York.

The staff is here as opposed to L.A.

Yeah, they're working in office.

They're working in office.

There's people here.

Yeah.

You know what else is interesting?

A bunch of the LA Headcom staff came to the studio because they thought we were ordering in.

And then when they heard we ate last night, they got on a plane back to LA.

Chris is engineering for us.

Hi, Chris.

Hi.

Hi, Chris.

Chris has been lovely to us.

Also, Marika is out here who are a good friend.

And then there's a New York Emma.

There is a New York Emma.

That's right.

How about that?

New York Emma has been helping us set all this up.

And I met Lily out there.

Everyone's been very, very nice.

So is LA Emma not here?

Because they would like

a black hole with it.

It's like time costs.

Who's Ron Silver in this equation?

Great question.

Politically.

Politically, I guess both of us.

It's Ron Silver dead?

Yes.

Oh, did he pass away?

Yes, I believe we lost him.

Oh, wow.

All right.

Rest in peace.

Yeah.

Silver or silver?

Silver.

Silver.

Silver.

Yeah.

In my opinion, when you were going to the movies in the 1980s and early 90s, silver was gold.

That's true.

Wow.

Joel Oron.

Yeah.

Joel Oron.

We were just talking, Joel Silver.

We were.

And he produced the.

Well,

should we spoil?

I'm sorry.

Carry on with your podcast.

Yeah, let's get through our bullshit and then we'll introduce our guests officially.

Oh, produce the movie we talked about on ours.

Jesus, yeah, uh, Mitch, uh, we've got a lot of New York to talk about.

We got two get two New York-based guests who we've had on the podcast before, but never before in person.

We're gonna get to that, but we also you have a drop you got to play.

All right, let's hit him with a drop, Chris.

No, no, no, no, no,

tuna rap, it's the tuna rap

swimming in the ocean.

What do I see?

A tuna fish swimming right at me.

I cast my line and I reel it in, and now I got a great din din.

Tuna, lettuce, tomato, onion, vinegar, and oil, pickles, tuna, the boring ingredients of the wrap.

Swimming in the ocean in the sea.

That's a

fuck.

That's a pretty good.

That's a good drop.

Well done.

The dolphin at the end, man.

Well crafted.

I heard that got banned from X, but somehow got a million listens on alternative platforms.

Me and Kanye's new single together.

Did a dolphin give you a vacation flashback?

It certainly did.

I mean, I don't hate dolphins.

I swam with them because I liked them so much.

And I think they're quite fond of you.

They are very fond of me.

That is the truth.

What's missing from this is that

I sang this in that same episode.

I called you a little piggy, if you remember correctly.

Oh, I remember.

And

after I sang that rap, you said, that fucking sucks.

And it was a one time, I was like, fuck, it did suck.

Hey, DK, I had to knock this little number out real quick while it was still fresh.

I hope you're doing well.

Love Count Dropula on Instagram.

We've heard from Count Dropula in the past.

Past, yes.

Count Dropula is doing good work.

Yeah, Count Dropula is doing great.

Yeah.

Good.

And one of our best counts.

Count Dropula.

That's good as hell.

Dropping the mic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I feel like that should show up in a future Count Dropula drop.

No, the Count Dropula.

Count Dropula.

Yeah.

So it's a drop talking about himself, basically.

Yeah, he's got to get meta, right?

You've got enough drops.

You got to start bringing yourself in.

That's fun.

Like, it's a sample.

It's like he samples that.

He's doing other.

And then Count Dropula.

It's like one of those dance hall songs where the artist says their own name at the start of it.

Mustard.

Right.

I guess he's more producer.

But he does.

Weiger famously had no idea why people were yelling mustard for one.

That's true.

I didn't know.

I thought it was just general enthusiasm for the condiment, which I was in for.

New York City, you might just hear that being yelled anyways, Wags.

Absolutely.

Oh, my God.

Hot dogs, pretzels.

That's right.

You know, you know, the one card I haven't had.

I've never done the peanut.

I've never done the nuts card.

Because why would you want a big cup of nuts?

Yeah.

I mean, that is.

I think I've done it once in my entire life.

Same.

Yeah.

They're wild.

They're warm.

They're salty.

It is wild that it has basically persisted with the exact same branding for 30 years plus.

40 maybe?

I've had it one time.

I never see anyone getting them.

My guess is that it would be like 100 years old.

Like selling warm nuts on the street or whatever.

Yeah, it feels like a sort of like you're about to go see Babe Ruth, you know, or whatever.

Right.

Like it feels very, very like pre-war.

One logo that is like big mixed nuts, big hot nuts.

Yeah, you're right.

There's the one.

You're right.

There's the one sign that they all got.

They all got the one supply.

All right.

I have a great.

Well, what are you going to do?

No, no, no, no, no.

You go ahead.

It's about Babe Ruth.

Well, fuck Babe Ruth, a trader.

We shouldn't have traded up.

Look, No, no, Nanette.

This man has to be traded.

No, no, Nanette is such a great play that I don't have an issue with the trade.

I actually love the, I love that we got the rights to no no no.

Boston fans now like watch like bootlegged no-no nanets.

We'd be like, this is great.

We watch no no no every year.

Every October, we watch no no Nineteen.

This is what I was going to do, Wax.

You're going to love this right here.

Rank the carts.

Mario, number one.

Fuck.

I mean, obviously.

It has to be.

No.

Rank the New York City

carts.

Let me do this.

First off, let me shout out drops at birdfuck.com if anyone wants to be the future Count Dropula.

But also, let me formally introduce our guests and let's weigh in on this very New York City food-centric topic.

Yes.

With us today in studio for the first time, both of you.

Yeah.

For the host of Blank, Check with Griffin and David, one of my favorite podcasts.

Griffin Newman, David Sims.

Thanks so much for being here.

God bless you, Father.

Thank you.

Thank you for having me.

Got him.

Hot dog.

Number one with a bullet.

Pretzels.

Well,

I might argue with you.

I might put halal.

Halal is number one.

Halal is pretty good.

I like a hot dog, you know, a water dog.

Like, I like a New York street dog, but I prefer

papaya dog.

If it's not on a cart.

And if I'm going to get something, I'm probably most likely to get a pretzel.

Ooh, I do not get those cart pretzels.

I'm sorry.

from my experience.

I think they're supposed to be.

They tend to be pretty chewy.

Yeah.

I feel like sometimes the issue with the cart pretzels is like too hard on the outside, not crunchy, hard.

Right, because they're not getting rolled out every day.

I feel like they're just sitting in there and then a little tacky on the inside.

Right.

It's like sometimes you're at like the mall Auntie Ann's, and it's just like, I can tell this is yesterday's Auntie Ann's.

Like, you know, you got a whole end cart.

They're leaving them in there.

Yeah.

There's a skewer cart in Chinatown that I love.

I think any skewers.

Oh, wow.

Meat skewers.

Wow.

Because that's the thing with New York, there are also random carts.

Right.

Like where it's like, this guy's doing his own thing.

There was a cart on Maiden Lane and like William Street.

I don't know if it's still there that did this like lamb biryani thing with this special sauce.

I would go there all the time.

Wow.

That's sounds awesome.

Any kind of meat rice thing.

I'm pretty pro.

So when Natal and I were out in New York for the first time, first couple of times in the city,

you know, both from LA and lived in Southern California, but like not when we were traveling and we had like less means and were like trying to eat on a budget, like basically survived off of halal carts out here.

So I have so much affection for halal carts.

And also you have that, it's just like, this is so fucking good.

It's not just like, sometimes you get a cart hot dog and you're like, all right, this works as a hot dog.

Like this is functionally a hot dog.

But the halal meets I'm getting is like, oh, wait, this is genuinely like just like a tasty execution of this.

It's right.

Actually,

cuisine.

Does it take over the hot dog cart?

Is it?

I think it maybe does.

And I think that's maybe also like a...

In your ranking.

I think it's just in terms of, well, in terms of like iconography, I think the hot dog cart is number one.

But in terms of personal rankings, I don't know.

There's something also kind of nicely contemporary about the, you know, halal carts now being the dominant cart in New York City.

Sure.

I think if we're actually talking about the food, halal is number one.

And I think if we're talking about the idea of

the cart, it's hot dog cart.

There's something so nice about, and I've done it.

I've done it within the last month of that, like, I need to eat something right now, like, just to kind of bridge some gap, and it's like, oh, there's a hot dog card.

There's always a hot dog cart.

Yes.

It was in Brooklyn anyway.

One of the great walking foods.

Great walking food.

Oh, that's great.

That's a good point.

The guys yell out, still yellow, hot dogs, hot dogs, get you hot dogs.

Going back to ballpark kind of vibes here.

So that's more of a ballpark thing than a streetcar thing.

Yeah.

Streetcart guys don't really yell.

They don't do anything.

No.

They're just like, yes, boss.

Yeah, when you're like peeking the fucking

wikes peeking over there am i peeking

was wikes peeking no i'll let you know if they are no peeking so no peeking

oh wow no peeking

peeking i what's the worst cart

wow i mean it's mud cart mud cart's pretty bad mud cart's bad slime cart

bug cart i don't like bug cart some people there's some good bug carts there are but mostly mostly they're pretty bad yeah yeah yeah what's the worst cart racing knock on like diddy kong had one there was a song

Diddy Kong Racing is great.

That one's good.

Diddy Kong Racing is good.

It's good.

I weirdly.

I think Bandicoot had one.

Yeah, it's not.

Crash Team Racing is pretty good.

And also, one of two video game references on Friends.

At one point, Chandler talks about playing Doom, and another time he is seen playing Crash Team Racing.

And he's in eighth place.

Who is his player?

Do you remember who?

Yeah, who's his main game?

I think he is playing Crash.

If you remember the Friends finale, it ends with just the Crash cart game playing by itself.

I don't know if you remember over the credits, you're just just seeing crash cart.

There's the empty apartment, and you see all the keys laid out on the table, and then the camera pans over to just an idle PlayStation 1.

And it's playing.

And you're like, is it a ghost?

Like, why did

Crash cards?

Like, the Aku Aku mask is like conjured on top of the living room table.

Game over.

What's the villain called?

Dr.

Neocortex.

Yeah.

Yeah, Neo Cortex.

That's right.

Neocortex.

Crash is my favorite video game franchise.

We were talking about this the other day.

That's the one I have the most nostalgia for.

I think, like, I was a little too.

It's very much my personality.

No, but I get.

I'm starting to notice some things about you.

Hold on, hold on.

If you were a PlayStation Household, this was the best option.

What about Spyro?

Rayman?

I never cared for Spyro.

I like Spyro.

Rayman is not exclusive to PlayStation

PlayStation guy.

I love that.

Yeah, sure.

I love that.

Rayman

has great games.

Yeah, the Rayman games are great.

The Rayman franchise, but I don't feel like the the Rayman franchise is specifically associated with a PlayStation brand.

No, I don't know.

And so I think these days you're looking at Astrobot.

Astrobot's clearly.

That guy rocks.

Astrobot's so rocks.

That game's amazing.

But I understand the age you are, you being a bit younger than me and having a PlayStation in your household that you would glom on to crash.

He was also the cool

mascot.

Well, we were texting about this the other day because you were telling me that I would love Astrobot.

Yeah, you were.

And saying, like, you have PlayStation nostalgia, right?

You do love Astro Malotson.

You got to play Astro Nostalgia.

I play with my daughter, who adores it.

Yes.

Humble brag.

Yeah.

The first

system we had in the Newman house was Nintendo 64.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

I would say that.

So now I'm more baffled.

Right.

So now it is actually weird that cracks.

I would play PlayStation at my friends' houses when I was jealous that we didn't have video games.

And that was the one I always liked playing the best.

Got it.

And then later got the PS1 when they did the budget tiny model.

Yeah.

And I realized I have had every PlayStation system in my life at some point.

Wow.

Wow.

Whereas Nintendo, I skipped everything between 64 and Switch.

Are you talking about handhelds?

Handhelds I love.

Yeah, but did you, but I mean like PlayStation wise?

I had the PSP, I didn't have the Vita.

Did not have a Vita.

So I've had every basic PlayStation model other than the Vita.

I started with the three.

I didn't have a one-or two.

Wow.

I was a Nintendo boy.

But I do think I just skew a little PlayStation.

And maybe I'm just different, but like I like the energy of Crash.

He was, look, this is part of his capitation.

I'm not arguing it's better.

I would never argue it's better.

I'm going to chime in here on a second and just say that you're both fucking idiots right now.

What are you talking about?

Crash sucks.

Crash doesn't suck.

Crash is fine.

Oh, you like when he does this little twist around?

It's like a runner.

It's like an iPhone game.

The original Crash, like Crash Bandicoot 1 was a run into the screen or run towards the screen.

A lot of that.

It was pretty much down its own limit.

But that's a little revolutionary.

That was like a pretty novel kind of format for a platform.

That's so annoying because if you miss like the lily pad by one second or whatever.

You're forgetting that's the kind of gamer I am.

It was very linear compared to Mario 64.

But

when the Crash franchise continued with 2 and 3, they started to mess around with the formula a little bit more.

It was a little bit more expensive.

Was it more like Mario?

No, it was never as good.

It was always

a very linear platformer.

Yeah, that sucks.

That doesn't suck.

Great Mario games are linear platformers.

That's true.

Mario 3D World, Mario 3D Land, Super Mario World.

These are all good things.

Is it the same as that, though, or no?

Is it like Mario 3D World at one point?

Nothing's as good as Mario 3D World.

Nothing's on that level.

It was always

Mario World.

As the kids would say, it was always a Timu Mario, right?

Who made it?

Who is it?

What the fuck are you talking about?

What?

Chris laughed.

What does that mean, Timu Mario?

It's like the Chinese retailer.

Yes.

Timu?

It's like the cheaper, it's like the fakered version of the

kids are saying anything.

The kids are saying it.

Am I wrong?

No, that's correct.

Timu?

Timu.

You're tapped in.

I disagree with the sentiment.

Yes.

But I think, if anything, Crash is closer to Timu's Sonic.

I think Crash is trying to coast off Sonic energy the bad.

He's not your ass.

No, no, but he's trying to be cool.

He's trying to

versus Mario Boy kind of wild energy.

And I think the Crash spinning is their answer to Sonic going fast.

What's the kind of big, crazy move he has?

Mario is cool, though, without trying.

I agree.

That makes him a classic.

That's why he's number one, Mitch.

Yeah, he is.

He's number one.

You're preaching to the choir.

I cool up Italian.

It's the coolest Italian ever.

He's our best Italian.

He is our best Italian.

I grew up in a Nintendo household.

I used

money from a job to get my first PlayStation 1, and that was the first console I bought with my own money.

And I got it so I could play Final Fantasy VII, Resident Evil, and Castlevania Sympathy in the Night.

And from that.

Who was a job from PlayStation 1?

Where you're like a businessman?

Stockbroker.

Stockbroker.

Private equity.

I worked in a bookstore.

Wow.

And then

I had

this PlayStation one.

And then from that point on, I'm not.

Are you asking your dumbass for recommendations?

Yeah, I want a new book.

How about this horny manga?

PlayStation 4 was actually the first one I bought.

PlayStation 4 and 5, which I have the five now.

Three I had because

my roommate was Jack Allison.

And so he had three, and I played three, and then four came out, and

he got four, and then I bought a four when he moved out.

Even when I bought the three, I felt like a traitor.

I was like, I can't believe I'm finally doing it.

It's like a big, and it was like, especially for me, they like loving the Super Nintendo Final Fantasies, where I was like, well, to play the new Final Fantasy, I have to buy a non-Nintendo system crossover.

And then I'd make that decision.

I was like, fuck, this is like the best decision of my life.

Playing Final Fantasy 7, 8, and 9, they're all so fucking good.

And like of their era, but still, it was just like, I'm so glad I got it.

Play Silent Hill to me.

Oh, Corsair.

Yeah.

I'm just, I'm, I'm I'm looking at Mario's voter registration online.

Uh-oh.

And

he wasn't neither party for a long time.

Yeah.

Kind of like a Pope Leo sort of thing.

Does he have any Pope takes, though?

Is he a little mad?

Oh,

he doesn't like that.

He's an American.

There's a lot going on.

Yeah.

Chris, you a video gamer at all?

A little bit.

Okay.

A little bit.

Did you have a particular console in your household growing up?

Honestly, very similar to what you guys were talking about.

Because I grew up with a Super Nintendo

way back.

Yeah, sure.

I'm older.

That's great.

And then got a PS1 and played that for Final Fantasy, for Mega Man, all that stuff.

And then now, I mean, I haven't, I have a Switch, but I don't do much.

My roommate is a huge gamer, and so he plays.

My story, I think I told it on your podcast, your other podcast that we shall not name long ago is that i saved my allowance to buy a super nintendo which was one generation removed like the 64 was the new console but i saved 50 pounds have i told you this no i don't think so and i went to this and and because my i wasn't allowed to have a console yeah and then and i was like i'm going to like a you know a pawn shop to get a super nintendo my mom was like no you're not you're not allowed and my dad was like he he did it bro like you lost like right he saved his money they get like what are you supposed to do take his money away away like and so i got i had a super so i really fought for that super nintendo like that was a big deal we were also not allowed to have a console my mom was like philosophically like i don't want video games in the house

i'm gonna put a wall up against this and then i have a much younger sister And I think they finally let us get a console as like a consolation,

but also sort of like, we might be paying less attention to them for the next two years.

Yeah, sure.

They might need something.

We need a third parent.

We need to bring in, let's Let's bring in the 64.

But I genuinely feel like if my sister hadn't been born, that would not have happened unless we raised the money to buy it ourselves.

Went to cash converters on Holloway Road.

I'll never forget it.

It is one of the most important memories of the family of my life.

What is this?

Was Bradley Knoll there?

Is this a, this is,

this is the UK version?

Thank you, Griff.

Yes, it was the

thumbs up.

Thank you.

So it looks like the Famicom.

But the branding was Super Nintendo, but it looked like the Super Famicom, the more rounded edges.

I had the rounded edges and then the four different colored buttons.

Four colored buttons.

And I got Super Mario World, Super Mario All-Stars, Cybernator, underrated game.

Okay.

I can't remember the other things.

I got five games with it.

Like, I mean, they were like, yeah, whatever.

Like, you know, it was, it was in a pawn shop.

Like, this was not like a sexy new thing to get.

If you're, this is just a general like observation and not my observation, but like, if you are willing to game a little bit in the past, it's an extremely affordable hobby.

because, like, the Steam sales, like the digital storefronts have like such deep discounts that you can get like a game that you can play for 60 hours that's like four years old for like $3.99.

It's like absurd how

on sale these things become.

Well, that was when the PS1 came out.

Yeah.

It was, I think, after the PS2 had launched.

And it was like, now we've reduced it to this size.

I think it costs like $60.

Yeah.

And you could get every game for like 10 or 15.

Yeah.

Those games sucked.

PlayStation 1 sucked.

PlayStation 1,

it's like the NES.

These times are so long.

Yeah, it was so pretty.

PlayStation 1 was pretty bad.

It's like the 8-bit generation

versus the 16-bit generation.

The 32-bit generation,

those first attempts at 3D game designs were so crude that a lot of those games are barely playable in a modern.

Some are hard to look at.

For sure.

Not even, oh, they're unpleasant looking.

Your eyes can't really register.

Nintendo 64 may be my favorite console.

It's up there.

That's when I was like happiest as a person.

That's

a good point.

And I said Super Mario 64, though, you could say is the best Mario.

We were talking about this.

I'm a world boy, but I love 64.

64 is really cool.

I think there's an argument for being the best video game of all time.

Now, I'm an idiot who has bad taste in games.

To me, and bad taste in picking restaurants for us to go to.

We'll get to that.

Interesting.

I bought Super Nintendo the day it came out with my first communion money.

Oh, that's the truth.

Oh, there you you go.

Take that first.

Wow.

The first day.

I mean, I think my parents, if they could go back, they would not want me to get it because I think it was a transformational brain.

It rotted your brain.

Yeah, yeah.

I rotted my, and my body.

I mean, a lot of, it was a lot of different things.

But, but yeah, the first day, Wages, first day I went to Child World.

Wow.

Truff sounds like you probably want to go there.

Child World,

a big New England.

I wondered if you would know of Child World.

I've never heard of Child World.

It seems like something that was

a Northeast thing.

Child World.

Child World.

Child World.

Yep.

I got my Super Nintendo.

Wow.

Weird.

I just Googled it, and the only match I got was Jeffrey Jones' current residence.

And Mitch, we talked about the podcast, but when we were at St.

Patrick's Day, like

you kept saying Jeffrey Jones.

I was gonna say, Jeffrey Jones is back in headcumb in LA.

I do remember this.

Yeah, the logo is ringing bells, but also the weird castle.

I don't like it.

Yeah, I don't like it.

Mine did not look like a castle, but

fair enough.

I remember when my mom wanted to dress me fancy, she'd take me to the little folks shop.

That's where we bought like nice kids' clothes.

Little folks.

How many things, or should I say, how few things are funnier than a little kid dressed really fancy?

A little kid dressed fancy fancy.

It's a good bit.

Because they don't know

pockets.

Yeah.

What they're wearing.

They don't need a little suit.

They don't know how to walk

with any arrows of his mind.

And they are uncomfortable.

They're not liking it.

This just reminds me.

I'd never heard that story before that your mom used to take you to the little folks store or whatever the hell it's called.

Little folks shop.

Yeah.

Little folks shop.

The mall.

But

also, you told a story yesterday.

I won't say his name, but you had an old friend that did uh, can you just say what your friend's job used to be?

You can say what your friend's job.

I can't remember what the story was.

Your friend's job who made good money.

Um, oh, yeah, no, I had a he may listen to the podcast.

I won't dox him.

Yeah, I'm saying, don't dox him.

Uh, he's very funny.

I think like the dad in Beetlejuice,

he got paid for two, right?

He must have gotten paid for two.

Don't know how to pay someone around.

Anyway, so the

good for him.

So, no, I had a friend who was a live

nude

model for genital and anal exams at a medical school.

Oh, he would go practice.

Yeah, he would go up there and it would be like a, you know, like an a classroom full of med students.

And he'd go out there in a robe.

And the, the instructor would say, like, okay, please present.

And he'd like take off the robe and show everyone his like dick balls and asshole.

And then the instructor would demonstrate how to give rectal exams and genital exams on a man and then be and then say like, okay, now it's everyone else's turn.

And then one by one, each of the students would go up and with gloved hands perform the procedures.

Now, was that fun?

And he made like $2,500 a day doing it.

So it was like great money.

Did he get the job because he had like textbook dick balls balls and assholes.

Yeah, do you think they, right?

They were like, we don't want a weird situation here.

Great question.

Or do they want something weird so like keep people on their toes?

Wouldn't it be so weird if you did that in the asshole's too weird?

You're like, what?

It is.

Oh, yeah.

I had no idea.

Oh, yeah.

It's a bad one.

It's a shame because the dick and balls are apart.

Can I just do the one?

That's kind of a package deal.

All right.

I believe that it was one of those things where that financial like a crazy shot shit.

It's like twirly shit.

Oh, I guess they're probably right.

Fucking screw shit.

Course screw shit.

Course screw asshole.

I believe the

financial incentive was so high because they had a hard time finding anyone willing to do it.

So I think that he basically got the job because there was that he didn't need anyone to volunteer.

There's a whole world of people who would pay to do that.

Yeah, that's a good point.

He's got to find him.

Jeffrey Jones for what?

I don't know if that's what he's into.

I don't want to speak ill of Jeffrey Jones.

I told Wages that the way I would respond to every student student coming up in examining, I go, good job.

I swear.

You are my favorite.

I taught you well.

Try again.

We got to talk food a little bit.

So

I've had a very brief time in the city.

Mitch, you've been here a little bit longer.

You got to go to MSG, watch a Nick Celtics game or a Celtics.

Good book for him.

I hope Jason Tatum's okay.

It seems like he might be out for about a year.

This is unfortunately

having the in the aftermath of a pretty horrific-looking injury.

We're recording it right afterwards, so we don't really know any details.

You were nice about it, but I can't tell.

You're a Lakers fan.

I can't tell if you were being sincere, but it was very devastating.

What are you talking about?

Of course, I don't want to be rooting for a guy to be injured.

Everyone's so mean about it.

It's

being mean about it.

Who wants the Knicks to win that series?

Like, you feel dirty when it's

I think the karma is not.

From what I've seen online, the

Knicks are going a little crazy about his injury.

I haven't seen much of that.

I think it's a fringe.

The thing when KD tours Achilles.

I'm on Truth Social, though, so I don't know.

And you remember

the Toronto crowd started

cheering.

And all of the players freaked out and were like, shut up.

That's the one time I remember feeling like, oh, this is like...

charge.

Like this is a little weird.

That was really a weird garden.

It was kind of was pretty quiet about it.

Like it felt like they were not going to yeah i went to the last celtics win possibly of the this postseason uh and it was a uh they were also kind of

a shellacking and they they were it was almost still frustrating the thing that was i mean yesterday it was so uh whatever it's not jalen brown's fault but like he like turned the ball over and then tatum went for it and like probably ruptured his achilles is what we think it is this is on this is on me for mentioning msg i'm sorry i wanted to talk about food we're talking about the food

i woke up this morning i know i'm impressed about it I know.

I didn't want to put you in this headspace.

It's a bummer.

You did talk about food.

Let's maybe mention MSG.

Griffin.

Griff.

That's great.

And actually, I can

seasoning.

But what were you going to say?

We won last year.

Well, two things.

You did win last year.

We did.

So that's nice.

And he'll be okay.

I think he's going to be okay.

Yeah, he's a young guy still.

It's going to be a bad season next year, but that's fine.

Sure.

But did you eat anything at MSG?

Great.

I did.

And you know what?

I'll say this.

The Knicks fans were not.

And I'm sure we'll talk talk about this with Zach Cherry as well because I went to the game with Zach.

And

the Knicks fans were actually not, everyone I interacted with, I was like, I'm a Celtics fan, by the way.

And my guy was like, ah, like, you know, that was kind of the level of it.

No one really cared.

I also wasn't being annoying.

But

I, well, annoying.

I was probably annoying to Zach more than anyone else.

I wasn't being annoying to people, like, you know, loudly being annoying.

Yeah.

I got myself a hot dog

and I got myself an ice-cold beer.

Fun.

Classic.

And let me tell you, that hot dog was damn good.

All right.

And there's only,

they only offer you spicy brown mustard here at MSG.

It was only the packets of spicy, which was a hellhole.

It was like just a pile of stuck together mustard packets.

Yeah.

But

I did ketchup.

That's the spicy brown mustard and some relish on that dog.

And it was fun.

It was fantastic.

And I also got a pretzel wax.

And the pretzel was pretty good.

Pretty good.

The food at MSG I thought was

decent.

Were these two transactions?

Like, did you get the hot dog and the beer and then come back and get it?

It was one run.

I got a hot dog.

All in one.

A pretzel and the beer all in one.

This is interesting.

And I think we can talk.

And Griffin, I think, even though you're not a sporto, I think you can weigh in on this.

Like, as far as ballpark eats goes, in that scenario, I'm getting two hot dogs over a hot dog and a pretzel.

Wager, I'm right there with you.

I get why you would do that.

I get it.

But I wanted to try the pretzel at Madison Hollywood.

Totally.

I understand.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, that's fair.

I mean, MSG has good food.

Sims had a double doggy day yesterday.

I did.

I had two dogs at the AMC Empire 25.

Wow.

Wow.

The thing with me is I'm getting too hot, dog.

Yeah.

Always.

Pretty much always.

Always.

I go to

City Field a lot.

Let's go Mets.

Mets won last night.

I don't know if you guys are excited about that.

I don't follow MLB, but you know, maybe I'll get back into it.

I'm trying to get back into it.

Mets is maybe the team I can root for the most in the New York team.

It's pretty lovable.

And I go to Citi Field a fair amount.

And my thing at City Field is I get there before I take my seat, two dogs.

I get two hot dogs.

Fuck.

Then I take my seat with a beer.

And then when that's all done, then I'm like, all right, now it's time for food.

Like, I don't consider that lunch.

Like, that's the beginning.

And then I'm like, now I want to go because Citi Field's got like, you know, beef patties or, you know, crazy like mac and cheese, chopped cheese sandwiches.

It's got all kinds of stuff.

It's too much.

Tone it down.

Well, they also have, you know, regular stuff.

It's fun to have the other stuff.

Who's the commissioner of baseball now?

No, Manfred's

Manfred Man.

Manfred Man.

Flamingos.

Yeah, that guy.

I was going to say, like, I was raised on Grace Papaya, which you guys covered.

Yes.

Zach and Tammy Sager.

That place is all about the recession special and the two dogs and the drink, right?

So I feel like that was basically what my father reared me on.

And yet, if I'm at an MSG, any sort of stadium for any sort of event, I think I go one dog because I want to leave the space to try out other things.

That makes sense.

Hot things don't take up a copy of options.

Yes, right.

One dog is not a real,

I can't have a real dinner.

Hot dogs to me are zero calories.

I'm just like, yeah, that is right.

Just for scientific facts.

When I would eat hot dogs as a meal, this is like when I first moved to LA and I would like get like hot dogs to boil.

Actually, I did in college too, a little bit, but I would try to, I would get turkey dogs to try to be a little bit healthier.

And then I would boil them in, I'd boil them in beer.

I would do beer-boiled turkey.

Very healthy.

I said, healthy.

A beer-boiled turkey dog.

And on wheat buns, this is like a very good thing.

We're back to zero calories.

It is like disgusting.

And then I would do a turkey chili as well.

So I'd have two dogs and a turkey chili.

Oh, fuck.

I love that.

That would be my meal.

And that's the way it became a meal.

It was like I needed extra.

You said you love a turkey dog?

No, I love a chili dog.

A chili dog.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But the chili was like what made it

seem like a meal.

But I'll say this.

I mean, I agree with you just having a hot dog that's not, it's like, whatever.

It is to me like eating an apple, which I know.

I know that's not.

I completely agree with you.

I get what you're saying.

I get what you're saying.

It feels like a snack.

Yeah.

I don't know if this is still true, but England, where I lived for many years, has no hot dog.

They do not.

They have sausages.

They've got other tubed meats.

Bitch, we recently talked with

Libya and Charlotte about this, about how

they have the sausage roll over there.

It's very different.

Which I love.

They have sausages, but they they don't really have proper hot dogs.

And so I really think I'm still making up for the 13 years I spent in the UK.

Like, I'm still like, hot dogs are just, I'm adding to a total, you know, that I didn't get to use when I was a kid.

Me too, apparently.

I'm entitled.

Yeah.

I don't know what time I'm making up for, but

hot dogs are a great American commodity.

They're the best.

Yeah.

Are they the great American?

Are they the great American food?

I guess burgers maybe just beats it, right?

But hamburger is, I know it's a German.

hot dog burger, is that number one?

There's a case for pizza.

Pizza being a pretty recent entry into the American canon, but a like relevant.

But is pizza?

Does Italy get to claim pizza?

That's the other thing.

But the American pizza is a different thing.

But you could argue that we modified the burger and the hot dog more from their origins than the pizza.

That's a great point.

If we're reducing this to like the simplest cartoon avatar, if you're speaking in like, you know,

emojis.

Yeah.

like an American hot dog and American cheeseburger are like distinct things versus American hot hooks.

I'm going to respond to that.

Fire emoji.

Wow.

Wow.

If we're speaking in emoji, we're speaking in emoji.

Yeah, yeah.

Possibly 100 on that.

If you see like an emoji pizza, you're not like, oh, is that like Neapolitan style?

Do you know what I mean?

Oh, yeah, I get what you're saying.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, but you know what I'm saying?

Eggplant emoji.

Yeah.

Getting hot and heavy.

I mean, for you, it's more like grape emoji.

Or it's emoji size.

Yeah, right.

It's actual size.

Right.

I'm going to just flat out say I do not have an emoji-sized dick.

My dick is not emoji-sized.

Right.

It's fire.

I think, yeah, we're about 40 minutes in.

Okay, great.

Thanks.

Fantastic.

Okay.

And this is a great moment.

Sorry to interrupt.

Just one quick thing.

If you can keep your iPad down.

It's kind of blocking his shot.

Which shot?

His shot.

Like the two shots sometimes.

Wait, let me see.

You block my shot.

You see it right there.

Posting it there.

Yeah.

Okay.

Sorry to interrupt.

No, no, no.

This is great.

Wait on.

Let me see.

Keep it like there.

Okay, great.

I'm going to keep all this in.

Well, I'm going to.

So what I'm doing right now, for people who are just listening to the audio feed, is I'm trying to find the right level to where I can bring my iPad to not intrude onto the shot.

I have a

right here looks good.

But if I go up here, oh, it's in.

It's in.

If it's a full screen eggplant emoji, then we might be

quiet.

Yeah.

If it's a full screen eggplant emoji, we might be talking ballpark for me.

I've taken up a whole phone screen.

No, I'm saying if it was a full screen eggplant emoji.

That's what I mean, taking up the entire phone screen.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now we're more in the neighborhood.

We also have a Motorola razor.

The phone from Zoolander.

Well, hey, I'm going to say this.

After I left Madison Square Garden,

I went to a pizza place and

Zachary.

A cherry pick.

A cherry pick, which had been recommended by Josh Frankl.

Wow.

Who we can say now.

Can we say that now?

Has it been announced?

I mean,

I'm thinking of the chronology.

No, this will be after, this will be out after the tour.

Yeah, we can announce.

Of course, we can mention it.

Who works on the Dough Boys comic.

Yeah, publishing the Dough Boys comic.

He also recommended the spot, and we went to New York Pizzeria Suprema.

ny pizzas or pizza ny pizza suprema

it's a great slice shop i'm just realizing we were talking early child world and then uh little folks shop and the url for to get our comic is brkids.com that's that is right so again that is right check out brkids.com check out brkidids.com

i uh i had a great i had a great two slices that you got uh i hadn't eaten the game was at 330 wages was making fun of me because i didn't eat until i got to the game i wasn't making fun of you i was concerned about my friend you i like I feel like you got to

try to get some food in your body.

I came into New York City on LA time at like 1 a.m.

And I didn't go to bed and I had a headache and I stayed up till like 4.

So it's basically a noon meal for you.

But it seems later than it is.

What did you do for your food?

Staying up till 4.

Checking that Hilton on-demand menu.

You know,

I was doing stuff.

You're jacking off to the Hilton in-room porno.

No, just the menu.

Just the menu.

Okay, but that takes me to 9.50 p.m.

The idea of going to a hotel room and then using their in-room entertainment and ordering porno and paying like $15 for it instead of jacking off.

When you could just watch porn on your phone, sure.

Right.

Well,

you know, the hotel room.

It is classy.

Yeah.

Napping, crapping, and fapping.

Those are the three things you do at the hotel.

You know this.

Yes.

And I did all three.

Actually, did I jack it?

Did I jack off?

Did I jack off?

Did I jack off?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

To the King James Bible.

I'm sorry.

That's not nice for me.

If you want to go to room 428 to see which pages are sticky in the Bible, Jesus Christ.

Let's just say it might be Adam and Eve.

Imagine if the new Pope heard all this.

He would be fine with it.

He knows that I'm a gesture.

Do you think

he knows that you're a gesture?

I'm just going to say, I don't like that he's like, hello, how are you doing?

Right.

Like, I need him to be like, oh, but that is

going to open up a little bit.

Is that Latin or Italian?

I don't even know what's going on.

That's what the Pope should be like.

Making it really hard for us to make fun of him.

That's the core issue.

He's just like, hi, I think poor people should be helped out.

And I'm like, yeah, fine, cool.

Yeah.

That's fine.

Yeah, he's taking the fun out of it for us.

But I'm going to.

He should be like stooped over in some golden chair.

yeah he's got a young

burrow you know right he's younger too he's

69 69

this guy

there must be a like a like a little bit from the italian perspective of like we get to make fun of like an american guy right as opposed to like always being made fun of you think in italy that i think so i think they're yeah i'm american like they're doing some sort of oh hey burgers and fries

having grown up in Europe, that is, if you're like, I'm from America, they're like, hey, burgers and fries.

Like, they just, that's what they associate with us.

I think I wouldn't say, I'd be like, yeah,

they're good.

You got some?

I went to,

my mom is from France.

And family vacation, I went to a high school party in France.

And these two guys, these like hunky alpha French teenagers, came up to me and they were like, hey, you are an American.

We heard that there's an American here.

And I was like, Yeah, where are you from?

And I went, New York.

And they went, New York, you don't sound like you're from New York.

And I said, What does a New Yorker sound like?

And they went, you know, more like, Hey there, how's it going?

I'm a Texas oil man.

But, like, went into that voice perfectly.

Hey, there, how's it going?

That's really good.

You're just like the prospector from Toy Story.

And I said, Based on what?

And they went, you know, movies and TV.

And I went, like, what?

And they went, you know, sex in the city.

That carrie does always when she sees her girl how's it going there how's it going hey girls hey mr big how's it going pan

uh

how you boyfriends come taste funny

he's got some funny taste and smoke yeah is that justin thoreau or bobby no it's bobby cannivali bobby cannivali has the weird

smoke yeah in sex in the city yeah the pope should never mind the pope should weigh in on what i just said yeah i think though because the popes are celibate right yeah yeah but also there was a thing online about some, like, someone's mom dating the pope.

Did you see that?

There was a thing that, like,

they take a vowel celestial once.

It's not like they're like, have you ever had sex?

Yeah.

I think first year should be like a rum springer for the pope, and they should be able to do whatever they want.

I think maybe it's if they're 69, too, especially, they can.

Oh, during their 69th year, they can be able to do it.

All bishops, it's like no sex unless you're 69.

Unless you're 69, you can go at it.

I think that's the sex age.

But appropriately, we got to give that warning.

There is a famous Wikipedia list of sexually active popes.

Wow.

That I highly recommend.

It is

basically, it's mostly a list of popes who like had, canonically had children while they were the pope.

Well, also that weird stint that Pete Davidson had.

I'm opening this tab right now.

And like, sexually active pope.

The thing with that is, like, it's crazy that he's made zero peacock shows about it so far.

Like, you know, he's really keeping that one close to the chest.

I just would love to see someone play his mom.

I'm dying to see what award-winning actress

can do with the role of

winning character actress.

Could be a Tony winner.

Okay.

Could be an Emmy.

Wait, so who played his mom in Bupkis?

Edie Falco.

All right, Edie Falco.

Felix III

was the grandfather of Pope Gregory the Great because Felix III was fucking.

Yeah.

That's wild.

Look up Julius III.

Okay, let's see if we can.

He's under had sex with men, not to

blow up Julius III.

There's different categories.

Oh, yeah.

No, this is broken down to different tables.

It's broken down into like men, women, men, and women.

Oh, man.

I don't want to know the other categories with the Catholic Church.

Julius III had an alleged affair with a cardinal.

But if you click on Julius III, it describes what kind of Pope I would be.

Where it's basically like, he made some nominal effort at reform, and when that failed, he devoted himself to a life of pleasure.

He built a gaming PC.

Was he just like kind of like, hey, anyone want to do anything?

No, okay.

What do we got?

Can we have like a big pork on a roast?

Don't blame me for trying.

I feel like if I was Pope, people would be upset that I was too celibate.

It doesn't get out much.

Papa, a little fucking please.

Mitch,

I'm just learning about Julius III now, but I'm pretty watched.

I'm pretty confident he was on the Doughboy's Patreon.

This guy's the Platinum Play Club for some time.

That guy's definitely a Platinum Play Club.

Post him on the Discord.

Remember where your iPad is.

Remember your iPad levels.

Oh, is it too high?

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Here's the thing.

They showed the picture of the Pope.

This is now old news, but they showed the Pope Leo XIV.

They showed a picture of Pope Leo, who was just when we were in Times Square, Pope Leo just was on the billboard.

He just had a

show, maybe.

But

there's a picture of a Hulu original.

If you're Pope, you get a Hulu original.

There's a picture of him at a White Sox game.

Yes.

He was at the World Series.

He's at the World Series.

And it's so disappointing because

in the picture, it's like a big fat guy.

And I was like, that big, fat American guy is the Pope.

And then it's like, no, it's the slim guy.

We are the kind of learned-looking guy with glasses.

Yeah, not a slightly different.

He's doing with the kind of Popeye vibe.

It was like a big Chicago

fat guy.

I was like, this guy fucking rules.

This is our Pope.

And then as Susser said,

deep dish communion wafers.

There was a lot of, I mean,

there was a lot of fun stuff that we were saying.

The pope.

The pope.

We don't need to recreate it.

We don't have to.

We can't do a little bit of it.

But

I don't know, something with the French, whatever the dip is, the Chicago dip.

Right.

I need hands.

I need fucking hands.

Yeah.

They dip the wafer.

They drag it through the dark.

They're dripping for way wet or whatever.

Dogs earlier.

Probably some of those tastes taken down again.

Oh, the bean.

Something with the bean.

The bean.

He blessed the bean.

Kind of the golden age of crime.

Is there anything there?

Do we put him in a pinstripe suit with the tommy gun?

Oh, like kind of a capone.

Does that feel insensitive?

I'm just trying to think about it.

Is the show having the pope with the tommy gun?

Does that feel insensitive?

Maybe the tommy gun shoots out holy water, though.

That's fun.

That's kind of fun.

There's the show.

The bean should get moved to the Vatican.

Bean moves to the Vatican.

There's the Chicago Bulls intro, the Palm Project.

All right, the Alan Parsons Project.

The Alan Parsons Project.

So maybe it's like, you're Chicago Pope.

That's That's good.

That is good.

He was a member of Steppenwolf Theater.

Yeah, that's another one you could do.

Can you imagine if they were transporting the bean over to the Vatican and they dropped in the ocean?

I just, I just think about how it's...

That is fucking insane.

It's like truly kind of like, I'm sorry, I know.

But if you dropped the bean, well,

they should have tried to

chain it to an Apache helicopter like they were doing an Operation Dumbo drop.

They should have put it on a proper bar.

I agree.

I also like that the bean transportation crew is

from the Vatican.

Be me take a one-a-bite.

The bean.

It's so shiny.

You know when I said, like, how few things are funnier than a little kid dressed up in fancy clothes?

Yeah.

You know, it's one of the only things that's above it.

What's that?

The cartoons used to depict a really like poor person, like a hobo or something, slicing a bean.

Yeah, that's good.

Really good.

The bean slices are really good like like a faint sliver of beans there was like sither music

the cartoon poverty joke i always liked is a guy opening his wallet and then a single fly buzzes out

really funny you know what bring back the barrel yeah the barrel is gay people lose their money they need to wear the barrel we need more hobos that feels like a trump thing too where he's like i think homeless people should be hobos they should have a bindle right like he just wants everything to be like he wants alcatraz back right he wants it to be older yeah New York, New York NY Pizza Suprema, whatever, whatever the hell that you want.

To me, that is a, the only problem with that place is it's a little pricey because it's by Penn Station.

It's got right the little bit of a little bit of a pizza.

That's so funny because I didn't even think of it.

Price was like, whatever.

It was like 12 bucks.

Right.

It's not that much.

For a slice?

I got a slice of cheese pizza, which was fantastic.

And then I got

a slice of Fra Diablo.

Okay, I got it.

Which is a pepperoni and spicy sauce.

Sure, sure.

Sure, square slice.

Both really, really, really good.

And a small Coke.

I also feel like their slices are pretty hearty.

Are fairly lavish sort of.

Oh, for sure.

I was, I was, I, I had a, I had the hot dog pretzel in those two, and I was done for the, that was it.

That was my, that was my day.

I want to ask about a restaurant that you took us to, Griffin, Mile and Deli.

Oh, yeah.

One of my, my few meals I've gotten to have in the city.

Which is maybe

it shouldn't have been one of your few meals.

I had a good time at Mile End Deli, but I, but the way this was set up to us was you told us it was the best poutine in New York City.

And

Sims later said that.

Sims actually

adeptly pointed out that not a signature cuisine of

signature food.

He was like, who cares about coming to New York City and getting Canadian food?

And when he said that, I got mad at you.

It is the truth.

I could almost amend it to it might be the only good poutine in New York City.

Okay, sure.

And I probably shouldn't have led with that.

It was mostly, it was very close to the the hotel where you guys were staying.

That is true.

But then I also heard that there were like, there was a, um,

what's the cat?

There was a cat's offshoot deli near my hotel.

In the mall?

That's true.

I think that offshoot is not great.

It's so absurdly expensive.

I will say those malls.

I was not forgetting that.

It's like the mall Regina, right?

Okay.

Yeah.

But there's still a good pastrami sandwich from there.

It's true, but I mean, did you get pastrami at Mile Inn?

We did get, we got some smoked meat on the poutine.

We got the pastrami on the poutine.

What is the smoked meat when they just say smoking?

What What are you doing, Getty Poutine?

I'm so mad about this.

It's the best poutine in New York City.

I really love this city, and I really care about its food, and I know so many places.

I was going to say, maybe your favorite thing in life is to recommend restaurants

and people visiting you.

Like, it's just nuts.

You had, like, 72 hours in New York or whatever.

And Miland isn't bad at all.

Like, Miland is good.

I feel mean calling it out almost because I think they do a perfectly good job at Milan.

Yeah, I got a chicken salad.

It's lovely.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But it's Canadian delicatessen.

Yes, it's a Canadian delicatessen.

Yes, city that's pretty famous.

They have like New York delicatessen, non-charol bagels and stuff, right?

As well, like they have a lot of well, to be clear, they had one bagel left.

Griffin got it.

Yeah.

Griffin got there early and snatched it.

I said, can I, I got a bagel with like pastrami, not pastrami, salmon and, and the works, locks, whatever.

And I said, can I get that on everything?

And they said, I think we only have a poppy left.

Wow.

And I said, oh, you're down to just poppy bagels.

And they went, No, we're down to one bagel.

A poppy bagel.

And then later, I was like, Can I get my breakfast sandwich on a bagel?

And they're like, No, you cannot.

It is gone.

So, but and I had, I think that sandwich was my sandwich, it was just fine.

Uh, and that, so this also made me slightly mad.

But the poutine was good, I'll say.

I'll say the smoked meat was good on top of it, yeah.

But I am, in hindsight, mad we went there, I guess.

And

what would you have rather?

It's breaking a track record of you being very happy with every other time I've picked a restaurant before and after that incident.

I'm now realizing, Griff, I didn't realize this until literally last night.

The only good thing recommendation you've ever given us is Little Canada.

I don't know.

Little Canada is

great.

From Canada?

Maybe.

Yeah.

Little Canada is great.

We love Little Canada.

And the Little Doughboys and Little Emma are in Little Canada.

But every other food recommendation that you have,

or I guess just anytime we eat food with you,

it's not a great experience.

Well, I'm a garbage palette with a terrible palate.

I think I'm an ideal multiple ton guest on food podcasts.

But then you also do know good restaurants, too.

But I guess you maybe know better, you know better restaurants than Griff.

I mean, look, I'm not trying to show off.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I have on my, you know, Google Maps a very complex

of saved restaurants.

This is what he spends for our audio listeners doing.

So Griff, yours is like

Chuck E.

Cheese and and

just absolutely dotted with little icons?

And like by various cuisines, which are all represented by different emojis.

Wow.

And then you can, like, so say, you know, you want Thai.

And this is just a meth, this is like my personal project just for me.

That's good.

It's not like, but like, if you want Thai, then like, there's all the Thai places I've written on.

Send all that.

I mean, maybe you can, but that's.

Maybe you can.

I don't know.

I've been waiting for like a truly sort of like focused app that can do this for you.

There's an app I use called Belly that's like not bad.

It's kind of like a restaurant recommendation app that I, yeah, it's all right, but I feel like there's Google Maps is still the best way to sort of like track your favorite.

Sure.

You could follow, like, hey, follow me, and I have all my food maps.

Right.

I mean, tech guys, get on it.

I mean, we are on it.

I know you're doing such a great job.

Right.

We love you, tech guys.

We love you.

Get on it.

Come on.

Everything's good.

Everything is great.

Love those cars that have no drivers that hit people.

Those are good.

Good job on that.

Cool.

Yeah, right.

I'll just say it.

We want to have a meme coin.

We don't know how do we get started.

Yeah.

Because we can make make a bunch of money off of that.

We reached out to Haley Welsh, the hot tua girl.

I was going to say, you could get her in here.

You guys are always threatening to end the podcast.

If you want to do that, start a meme coin.

That seems to be the quickest way.

Great point.

It's going to feel so good to pull the rug, right?

I suppose.

To see that moment when it's peaked.

And it's like, there you go.

If we, if, if, how much, how much is, how much, how much for a rug pull?

What would it, what, what would it cost you?

If we're going to like, so we're going to tarnish our brand, like both the Doughboys brand and us as individuals.

I guess, oh, us as individuals, that is, so like, I'm like, that's it for me.

I can't be an actor ever again.

You're so strongly associated.

I mean, you could be an actor in some things.

It'd be like when Chet Hayes shows up in a movie and you're like, it's pretty good in this, but it's kind of weird that Chet Hayes is in this.

Right.

You know, like people will keep thinking about how the Doughboys ended.

So this is like a career-altering cash grab.

Like, what would be the threshold for that?

I think it'd have to be pretty high.

I think it would be pretty.

I'd also like would not feel great.

Yeah, 10,000.

10,000, yeah.

Maybe do it versus 6,000.

I'd also not feel great about it, right?

Because at a certain point, of course, you don't feel good about the buggy.

You're just bilking a bunch of people out of their hard-earned money.

Yeah, you don't feel good.

No one feels cruel.

You know, last year, the Mets turned it around after Grimace, who is Doughboy's

discussion.

Threw out the first pitch, right?

This was a whole thing where Grimace threw out the first pitch.

The Mets have been doing really bad.

And everyone was like, fucking Grimace.

At the time, everyone was like, this is just pitiful.

And then the Mets got really good.

So then everyone was like, it was Grimace that did it.

But Hawktua threw out a first pitch right after Grimace.

Wow.

So I consider her part of the same continuum of good luck for the New York Mets.

That's wild.

So I don't care how many meme coins she's.

I'm pro Hawktua.

Did she spit on that thing, the baseballs?

Now that's illegal.

No,

no spitball.

Yeah, you're right.

Hawktua could not play in the major leagues.

I just want to just, because I don't want to seem like we were shitting on Mile and Delhi where we did have a lovely, lovely meal.

Note is taken.

It was with a limited time in New York City.

I had no problem with it.

We ran some old friends on the way, too.

I won't say who they were.

But I knew that what I had in store for you, gentlemen, was one of the most New York restaurants

that evening for dinner.

It took the pressure off of the brunch recommendation.

But before we dig into Planet Hollywood, which we have much to say about, Sims, I did want to give you a chance to, if you were going to throw out

some proper wrecks, like some non-griffin wrecks for.

When are you going to throw out the first pitch at a Mets game?

Oh, get me out there.

Great question.

I'm so good at throwing baseballs too, so I wouldn't humiliate myself at all.

Not as good as George W,

the best first pitcher in the world.

I stood up and saluted.

I watch it all the time.

It was wild.

There's got to be people who do that.

Like, I still watch him throwing that pitch, throwing first pitches.

He's dodging shoes.

Choking on Pratt's.

I think him dodging the shoe is one of his better moments.

I fully agree.

Those are maybe his top two things he did.

He's cut his head on a fucking swabble.

He's in Iraq.

Like, he's not like in America.

Some guy's throwing something at him and he's not like, he's just like, okay, all right.

You know, like, he just takes the dodge.

The guy who threw the shoes was very cool.

It's cool that someone threw shoes.

I love that guy.

Love that guy, but it was impressive.

Can I quickly say something?

Yeah.

You're at a Doughboys live show.

Don't throw the shoe at us, please.

We don't appreciate it.

Don't throw shoes at us.

Oh, no.

I bet I might smell.

Now, what if random task is in the audience?

Random face.

Oh, random task.

Random task.

Random task.

Random task is true.

We don't have to worry about

random task.

Random task is behind bars.

In prison.

Both, I think, in candy.

And

canonically and non-connected.

Convicted murderer.

Convicted murderer.

Nick, my whole thing is, like, people are like, what should I do?

And I'm just like, what do you want?

I don't mean like, you know, like specifically, but like, you know, there's, there's so many vibes of, you know, do you want to give us some prayers?

Grab and go.

Do you want to sit down, right?

Holding meal.

So we were going to do an early meal.

Think about that.

It's 11 a.m.

In that area?

Here's what I would say.

There is great Chinese food in L.A., but it is kind of on the east side.

You kind of have to go to Alhambra, Monterey Park.

It's a little bit removed from the city, whereas I feel like in New York City,

you're a little bit more on top of really good Chinese food.

There's fantastic Chinese food everywhere.

But that's a good point.

It's like, I'm not going to recommend Mexican food to you.

You get plenty of that.

You probably get good Chinese food, good Korean food.

I'm trying to think of what LA is good to do.

L.A.

is kind of loaded on short fronts, but what's LA lacking?

I mean, the obvious thing is

like, yeah,

a good slice joint, you know, there's good pizza out there.

Right, that's the thing.

I probably would have sent you to a pizza place.

I mean, possibly Foscati, Griffin, around there.

Yeah.

That would have rocked.

Wait, what's up with Foscati?

It's just one of those places where they're like, fuck you.

It's like

a slice joint.

Yeah.

That has

like, we've changed nothing since like Eisenhower was president.

And you're like, good.

That sounds great.

Yeah.

I, just nice, thin, crispy, like,

you know, I love that place.

I love the Montague diner around there.

That's a new entry.

Yeah, it's a diner.

That would have been a little bit more of a walk.

Diner is another thing, though.

It's like plenty of that.

That's an awesome place.

No, I think there actually are fewer diner options in L.A.

these days.

Where you were is the hotspot of Yemeni food in Brooklyn.

And I like the Yemen Cafe are places like, there's like two or three places like that where you could really have a great time.

I'd be into that.

I think you would have been into that.

We almost went to Juliana's Pizza, but then you were so-so on Juliana's.

Thumbs down.

No, you know what?

This is a podcast that goes out.

Juliana's Pizza is totally fine.

Like, I just.

Are you Grimaldi's team Grimaldis over Juliana's?

Only how he pays his taxes.

I love that.

Love how that guy.

He never paid his taxes, right?

The whole thing with Grimaldi is it's like H Bagels, R.I.P.

H ⁇ H Bagels, where they were like, oh, we didn't ever pay those.

The IRS was like, you never paid them.

Like, yeah, no, we didn't do that.

Why would we do that?

You want a pumpernickel?

We don't toast.

I don't pay taxes.

I checked a big one off my

pizza list.

Wow.

I went to Johns of Bleaker.

Right.

A legendary spot.

Another kind of thing they haven't changed anything in 50 years, which is that's one that always hits for me, though.

Yeah, I, my team.

You've got like a pizza list, and then you've got a separate list of naughty and nice children you track for year-round.

Implying I'm Santa.

Um,

wink.

I have two different pizza lists.

Yeah.

Comic ping pong is at the top of the other one.

And then

this one is all the places to storm.

There's a lot of New York spots on there that I have not hit up.

And I did not do Lucale.

I still did not do it on this trip.

Lucale, you have to get there around 3:30, wait in line to put your name down, and then you put your name down for like seven.

It's a whole lot.

Whole build a day around it.

It's a pain in the ass.

It's very very good to be clear Is it better to go on like a Monday?

Does that work?

I think it's better on a weekday for sure

You have to be unbelievably lucky to actually like get in quickly even on slow rate probably have to basically budget an entire sort of afternoon and evening right that's in a place like Tatano's I think Tatanos is like close to closing the last time I went there.

I know I've been recommending that one to you.

Yeah.

I went to Coney Island.

Yeah.

I went there with my daughter after we went to the aquarium, which is in Coney Island.

Fun.

And like it opens at noon or whatever.

It was raining.

And I showed up there with my daughter, like in a stroller.

And I think her name's Cookie, the owner of Tatanos, who's a slightly grumpy lady, shows up and she's like, hey.

And I'm like, can I get a pizza?

And she's like, we're only doing takeout.

And I was like, can I come in the store?

It's raining.

Like, I'm cold.

And she like looks at my daughter and she's like,

fine.

Like, that's the vibe.

Wow.

I mean,

it was a good pizza.

I really thought Johns of Bleecker was a great, I got a cheese pizza, and I usually get large, but I got the smaller one just, and it was still

very good.

Nice crispiness to it.

There was a picture,

maybe a portrait, a picture of Dave Portnoy up on the wall there, right near the American flag.

And the family next to me was

the family next to me was like, it's got flop.

And it was this, this woman who was holding the slice down.

And I was like,

that pizza is so crispy.

The John's oblique.

And it's like, who cares if it has four?

What the fuck are you talking about?

What has that man done?

Why is he the arbiter of this?

Well, it's really speaking out about him online has always really fruitful

and good for Len's career.

But there was a New York Times article that drove me up the wall about how he has basically defined a new language for people of shit like flop, where they're just like, now pizzerias are all changing their styles because they don't want to be viewed as bad by him when it's a subjective taste thing.

Where like the types of pizzas represented in North America are starting to narrow around his tastes and like some of it's visual.

Like a lot of it's visual.

Like the way he talks about like flop or char on the bottom and all this sort of shit, where it's like, I like the fucking variety of pizza.

I like that pizza can be a ton of different things.

Totally.

I like seeing people spin on it.

And he's just turned it into like, this is what I like about pizza.

And now, yeah, like a fucking family sits there and goes like, I'm a little flappy.

Shut the fuck up.

Yeah, I agree.

He needs to, I mean, he's a shit.

I'm saying that to the family, not to him.

Dave Portner, you're a good American.

Yeah, yeah.

Great guy.

Dorothy, don't sue me.

Yeah.

We're not afraid of him either, but you know, you're doing a great job.

Right, Wags?

I don't pay attention to the, like, I know about the one-bite pizza reviews, right?

But I'm like,

I've been so offline that I like, I don't, like, I've never encountered it.

I've just heard people talk about it.

It is taken over.

His Celtics takes aren't helpful either either, as a Celtics fan.

But I did like it a lot.

I thought the sauce was a little bit, it was very basic sauce, which is not a bad thing.

I'm not saying it's a bad thing.

I thought it was like one of the great pizzas.

It is one of the great pizzas.

It's very, very, very good.

It's just also, it's a really nice place to be.

I like being there.

It's just got physical stuff.

I mean, mostly if I'm near Dave's picture, obviously.

But like, it's just got a nice kind of low-key atmosphere in there.

I like all the Italian guys working there.

They were a lot of fun.

Yeah, they were, they, uh, and they were, you know, they hooked me up.

It was a great time.

I had a black cherry soda as well, and I did, uh, I did the house salad, which is just lettuce, onions, and some mushrooms on there with like a housemaid vinaigrette.

It was, it was very tasty.

A great time, Wags.

And then I went to Nighthawk Cinema, which you did not get to do on this show.

That's true.

I'm all bummed I missed out on the Nighthawk.

Great food over there, too.

Yeah.

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We had different plans last night.

We went

related plans

to Planet Hollywood, which was founded by Robert Earle in 1991 in partnership with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willison to be more the original investors.

Sims, do you know about British crooner Robert Earle?

Have you ever heard about him?

Name rings of a bell vanished.

He had a string of hits in the 1950s.

It seems like he was a little bit more.

He was like an old-fashioned crew.

He was like a British kind of Mel Tourme, like kind of that era.

So that'd be

the London fog rather than the farm.

The London fog.

Wow.

Wow.

Well played.

Robert Earle.

Robert Earle was his dad was Robert Earle.

His name is also Robert Earle, but his dad, Robert Earle, I had no idea that there was a relation there.

London Fog is a good sequel to The Fog.

If you did like a, if you did that in London, there's pirates.

Whatever.

I don't know.

Chain restaurant mogul Robert Earl is the son of the

iPad level.

Fuck of the crooner Robert Earle.

Vogs.

What?

Tisk Tisk.

It's out, though, now.

Yeah, I know, but I'm saying tis tis for raising it too high again.

That's a tisk tis.

We don't have to worry about it happening again.

Anyway, in recent years,

Earl has focused on virtual dining concepts, which manages largely terrible celebrity ghost kitchens as well at this point.

But is he involved with this relaunch?

He is.

He is very much involved in this one.

Well, he did a great job.

Salute to him.

That's what, five, four, tall around.

Thank you all for listening.

All right, so I'm just going to say this right off the top.

Yes.

we

before

we came out here i made a reservation for five people at keen steakhouse at 9 45 a late reservation yes on monday night i was very excited to go go have a good meal wigs you said

it's a content trip we gotta it's the content we gotta we gotta feed the content

content whip you were you were cracking the content whip we had look this was probably this was our only opportunity in many years to have, to both guests in person on the Blank Check podcast, then also have the hosts of Blank Check who are here with us, guests in person on our show.

Can I have a retirement quick rebuttal?

Who gives a shit?

They're going to be on the podcast no matter what.

Who fucking cares?

We're in the fucking head guy.

You better do it in person.

Better to do it in person.

I definitely prefer to do it in person, though.

I do think my last virtual appearance on your show came at an opportune moment and did go over well.

Yes.

It was great.

I'm not saying a wave on that episode.

I'm not saying

that was bigger than any of us.

It was more just right.

The energy was like me entering like a ransacked room.

You know what I mean?

I don't think even we can take credit for that.

Like something just happened.

Yeah.

Right.

We caught a wave.

And I think just my reaction of what has happened here when you were like, what's more famous, like bug or man for whatever it is you were doing?

Anyway, it was great questions.

I think that it was an enlightening conversation that we had.

And I think a lot of people still think about that and still don't know where to rank dog or man versus dog versus man.

Man's

man's got a show.

Was that a Comedy Central show?

Dog versus Man, wasn't it?

There was.

Man Bites Doe.

It was like a news paragraph.

Californacis.

It was sort of like a daily show adjacent.

80 Miles in it.

Yeah.

What did we end up thinking was the most famous?

Was it Sun?

I landed on Sun and I stand by Sun.

Sun is really famous.

I think it's pretty good.

Okay, now can we...

Not to relit.

I did not mean to bring this back up.

I'm sorry.

But when David jumps in and we were like cold, you don't know the conversation we've been having.

I mean, no, all I've known is Amelia had told me,

oh, they're starting at, say, six, your time, so you can jump on like 7.30.

And I'm like, I won't be joking.

Internally, I'm like, okay.

I don't care when I jump on, to be clear.

I'm not mad.

Right.

And then like at 7.30, Amelia texts, like, they just started discussing the restaurant.

And I'm like, yeah, no problem.

No problem.

You know, eight.

I'm sorry.

I'm like, it's fine.

It's fine.

Nine.

I think we're getting close.

You know, like, it's just, and so I'm coming in late.

You guys have been going for a while.

Yes.

In our second longest episode, sadly, it is not our longest episode anymore.

Hey, I want to say,

you and our buddy Scott Gairdner.

That's right.

You told me that the two of you had texted after that LA trip and said, I think Griffin came with the stealth mission of trying to break every podcast length record.

It felt like you had a hidden agenda that you were going to try to get the longest episode ever of PTR and the longest episode ever of Dough Boys, which you achieved for a time.

I swear to you

that I was like, you know what I want to do?

Be on Rails.

I was like, I went to that trip being like, I want to silence some of the hangs

and be tight and focus.

I'm not doing this for show.

Yeah, sure.

I can do a condensed episode.

And so I want to call my shot right here.

This will be the shortest episode of Dough Boys ever.

How long have we been going so far?

We are at one hour and 12 minutes.

Oh, there's no fucking way.

Hey, hey, we can land on this plane.

No, who beat him?

Is it Eric or is it Shearman Zoukas?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shearman Zuchis did it.

Oh, that's awesome.

It was one of those things where the record was broken, and then immediately afterwards, the record was broken again.

It was

a Mawire Sosa, kind of.

That was heavily on Zeukes wanting to shout out.

If he does the same thing on Earth,

he would get

competitive.

I'll say this:

you could make us miss our train to DC today.

It is a possibility.

When's your time going to happen?

Because I'm promising it's the shortest episode ever.

We'd have to end now.

It's at 4:30.

We have had in the early running, we have had sub-90-minute episodes.

So we'd have to wrap it up.

We'd have to basically get to forks.

When is your train?

I'm just interested.

4.34.

Okay.

4.34 out of Penn Station.

Now, I want to say this, okay?

Just because this is hyper-relevant to the show.

Yeah.

Not just re-litigating this bit, right?

You come on, as you said, it's late.

You've been waiting.

You don't know what we've been talking about.

We go just cold to you with the bottom.

I'm feeling chill.

I'm like, okay, time for me to do my little 15 minutes on Doughboy.

What's the most famous thing?

Right.

Because we want your answer

without infecting your brain with our bullshit.

Just hear these two words.

And you say right off the dome, you know, my go-to answer has always been Ronald McDonald.

Right.

And we went, huh, that's interesting.

I've thought about it a lot in the two months, three months, whatever it's been since we recorded that.

Ronald has basically been absent from marketing for over a decade.

Ronald is

Ronald is really gone.

Know Grimmus more than they know Ronald.

They definitely get Grimms to Metz.

Right.

So Metz, obviously.

But like Ronald might have fallen way off.

I think so.

It's interesting.

Because my whole thing with Ronald was right that it's like McDonald's is globally ubiquitous in ways that most brands aren't.

I think until 2005,

your argument's really strong.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He does kind of stick in your mind in a way.

He absolutely was one of the most known symbols until like 10, 15 years ago.

Can we just say, can we just give me a little credit for Santa?

Santa is extremely famous.

Santa is pretty good.

Although I have a take on that.

But on this point.

Oh, Jesus.

I think Ronald McDonald has maybe fallen below even the aforementioned Crash Bandicoot.

I wonder if there's more Crash Bandicoot awareness than Ronald McDonald wearing.

What's Crash doing right now?

He's not doing much, but he's just like,

he's still around.

Do you think Macaulay Culgin?

He's a modern

Crash.

Yeah.

I think Macaulay Culgan is more famous than Crash.

So that means he's more famous than Ronald Culpul.

Okay, but is adult Macaulay Culcan more famous, or are we still thinking of like

we are thinking of child Macaulay Culkin, but I do think that you still he looks enough like he used to that I think it still works.

Can I say is Macaulay Culkin less famous than Kieran Culkin, who just won an Oscar?

Uh, I think possibly, but let me weigh in on this specifically home alone, though.

So, let me weigh in on this specifically because adult Macaulay Culkin and his fame threshold.

Uh, I go to Los Angeles Laker games at crypto.com Arena, and very often celebrities attend as they do at MSG, and they are shown on the Jumbotron.

Uh, there's oftentimes an audience reaction, uh, as when Alec Baldwin Spacey

was booed.

Alec Baldwin was booed at the Alec Baldwin was booed at the Knicks game, and

I got up and I said, everyone, stop.

He's a great person.

Everyone's made mistakes.

He must have taken it in stride, though.

I'm sure it didn't.

Well, it was one of those things where they were.

He retired and unretired from public life eight times at that game.

It was a pre-taped thing, and it was very...

And

I try to change everyone's mind on it, but I did not back to Macaulay Culcin.

Okay, the, the, they're showing celebrities at crypto.com arena, and uh, the biggest pop was Jack Black, fresh off of the Minecraft movie, but the second biggest pop-one of the famous, most people, famous people in the world, everyone loves Jack Black.

The second biggest pop, uh, was Macaulay Culcin, of course, adult Macaulay Culpin.

So, like, like, people love.

He's got the, he, there, he reaches back through Jack Black.

Exactly, yeah, yes, and, and then also, uh, the third biggest pop, this was a surprise, Nush Berman himself, Dustin Hoffman.

People love Hudda Hoff.

Hoff was that Hoff.

Wow, that Megalopolis pop.

That's what I'm saying.

It's the Nush Burman.

Remember that part?

He gets killed by a column.

So somebody would like, and what's up with him lately?

And he's like, and they're like, all right, he got hit by a column.

That movie I saw right after my kids were born, my twins were born.

It was one of the first things I saw in a theater.

I went to an AMC,

Regal Union Square.

It's a famously normal movie.

Right.

And that was a true, like, did that happen to me or am I still asleep?

Yeah.

You know what's weird?

Hoffman got such such a big pop because I remember I was actually at that game.

Oh, wow.

Hoffman got such a big pop, and then he went to the bathroom, and then the fourth biggest pop was Dorothy Michaels.

I don't get it.

I don't get it.

The soap opera star.

Oh, Tootsie herself.

I don't think people call her that.

Only maybe an inappropriate boss.

That is one of my favorite things about Tootsie, where you're like, why is it called her Tootsie?

And you're like, one moment where Dabney Coleman makes an offhand comment.

Dabney Coleman making offhand comments, by the way.

That's not the kind of thing he usually does.

The 80s were built on that.

Yeah, they they really were.

Did they go down?

And

was there less pops?

Was there people who didn't get any pops?

It was.

So, like, I'm trying to remember who else.

I did a full list, which I sent to my group chat.

And I can't bring it up right now, but it was like Flea got a good pop.

Flea's a Lakers game regular.

He's always there.

Always.

Alright there.

Hey, Flea.

Kate Hudson weirdly did not have kind of a muted reaction.

I have your list because I'm in that forgot to brag.

Number one, Jack Black.

You said number two, Ric Flair.

Oh, I forgot about Ric Flair.

Yeah, Ric Flair was there pre-game.

This was a little bit skewed because it was before the game.

Macaulay Brenda's song.

You said, I forgot, of course, he's married to

the song.

It's a double pop.

I think he's getting most of that pop, but the pop's a little juicy.

No, that's a good thing.

Hoffman, Hudson.

I'm seeing here you say, ha ha, Tatum, rotten hell.

That's weird of you.

Interesting.

It's from a few weeks ago.

Was Santa there?

Did Santa get a pop at all or no?

No.

Oh, Timberwolves.

Imagine the pop Santa would get at the game.

If Santa would exist.

Santa would get a big pop.

Santa would get a huge pop.

He does exist.

Eminem is there.

He was going to, because we got to talk about Planta.

Santa get a huge pop.

We got to talk about Planet Hollywood, but I was going to advance.

Sorry.

Is Pope bigger than Santa?

Oh, no.

The idea of Pope or the correct...

Santa's got Pope beat.

Because Pope changes.

It's a changeling.

But I kind of almost also mean, but Santa also changes.

Santa's a bit of a changeling historically and also like a different.

Well, you can have a black Santa.

Don't get mad, Mitch.

Have I protested ideas like this?

No,

I haven't.

That's why I'm putting it out there.

I've never, I like the idea of different Santas, but there is a classic Santa suit or vibe.

I sure have a red suit, white beard.

But there's also a classic Pope suit slot.

Yeah, there is.

You're picturing the pope, you're thinking of a kind of iconography.

We were talking, a lot of our metric, I think, that we applied was identifiability, right?

Like the ability to show someone a representation and have them say it.

How far away can they be where you're like, that's Santa, right?

You were talking silhouette tests, but I also think like emoji test is kind of a similar, like, what's the simplified graphic version of this?

Well, eggplant might be the most famous emoji.

Well, let's hope, let's put a pin in that.

But I think if you show someone an emoji or like a cartoon drawing of a pope, not a specific pope, and go identify what this is, some people are going to say like bishop.

Yes,

that's an argument against.

I have another thing that's going to just completely annihilate.

Someone of the Catholic Church.

What is a huge portion of the world?

Children.

Yes.

Okay.

If I show my daughter Santa, that's Santa.

She knows Santa.

I show her the Pope.

She'd be like, grandpa.

Right.

Like, she'll just be like, who's this old man?

100%.

Yeah.

I also think if you show.

No, I have actually trained her to go, enemy.

No, I get him.

This was a lot of our conversation went back to kids right right right because kids are a lot you know huge percentage of the population yeah yeah and also i'll say this you look at a picture of santa you're not going to say santa's helper or elf you're going to say santa yeah you're not going to make that confusion yeah right he's got a one-of-one outfit yes yes yes santa yeah does anyone else go red and white no no one wears a red and white with the white beard plus sometimes we'll do a red and white but it's a very different look she'll sometimes do a touch it's a look i like It's quite a look.

Mrs.

Claus's look.

And I'm just going to say this.

Mrs.

Claus is not Santa.

Just to make that clear.

Golden Valor.

We love Mrs.

Claus.

Mrs.

Claus is very famous.

Very, very, very famous.

I've told you my Santa sitcom pitch, right?

I definitely have.

I think I brought it up on the show, but our friend Emily St.

James once asked me to pitch like a Santa sitcom.

Oh, yes.

Just like,

and I was like, Santa's immortal, but the wives change.

Right.

Wow.

And it's like, and so it's the start of a new wife.

And like, that's the show, right?

Like, there's a new Mrs.

Clause, and it's about her getting adjusted to like life with the clause.

Oh, oh, God, another 18-year-old.

She's a Santa.

Santa's kind of gotten a lot of water.

They gotta last a while.

They have to last a very long time.

So I go for a fresh 18-year-old.

Don't say fresh.

Is

what I want.

I'm king here.

Does the woman, does the partner know what she's getting into?

Yes.

So she's like,

it's very Lord of the Rings.

It's very Highlander of like

a little bit of that.

But until we'll like drop off a present for a kid and be like, I'll see you in 13 years.

I was trying, I think, to riff on the kind of

classic, like king of queens, yes, dear, like, oh, the schlub's always married to this, like, total babe.

And it's like, what if that's like, because Santa is inherently Santa, but the wives must change.

But that that is kind of the plot of the Santa Claus, too.

I've never since made you watch.

You sure have.

And I famously said that I wanted the children to get Manchester by the Seed, which I don't remember.

Maybe the funniest thing you have ever heard.

People bring up all the time with like, isn't David like a father of children?

What children do you want, Manchester by the Seed?

It must have been the annoying kids in that movie.

I don't know which annoying kids.

Yeah.

And wait, wait,

wait.

We're watching the movie and I mutter under my breath, I think.

You did mutter.

You wailed.

God, I hope these kids get Manchester by the Seed.

S-E-A apostrophe D.

Yeah.

Damn.

Look, some kids deserve to get Manchester by the Sea if they're annoying in movies.

I'm saying in the movie world.

Sure.

We can all fictional.

Fictional

Manchester.

Here's one.

College Calkin in the Good Sun.

Oh, yeah.

He deserves the Manchester by the Sea treatment.

Yeah.

Take that fire grill off.

Sometimes I want to give myself the Manchester by the Sea treatment when he pulls the fucking gun out of the mouth.

That is one of the best.

That is one of the the best examples of an incredibly serious scene in a really good movie that you can just always post when

somebody dunks on your favorite player.

You just immediately make it the stupidest reaction.

The other one I think of is

the end of

Not the Fog.

What's the mist?

Yes.

Yes.

God,

what a happy end.

That's crazy.

But yeah, just that gif of putting the gun in his own mouth because your team

was like number six in the NBA draft lottery.

Um, I uh

well, yeah, good, congrats to Dallas and the completely not rigged league.

Um, Wags, I uh, I have a thought here on this, on this, uh, on Planet Home

on the Santa sitcom, okay, uh, that like the wife is like, when it comes to bedroom stuff, she's afraid to get like a little too risque because then he won't give her a gift.

Oh, like if she wants to be naughty,

he's gonna get a gift, she must only be nice, and then it's like Christmas Day, and there's just like no gift for her.

And he's like, sorry.

That's a sweeps a week episode.

That is, that is, that is a sweeps week episode.

Yeah.

Wait, she, she was.

Wait, hold on.

What's the logic here?

She was too like.

She was too naughty.

She was too into it.

She was too into it.

She was too naughty.

And Santa says, you can't have the gift.

You have to have more conventional bedroom taste.

Yes.

Yeah.

I think the dramatic tension of the episode needs to be that she's trying to argue that what she was doing was, in fact, nuts.

That's good.

He's like, you were a little naughty last night.

And she was like, it was pretty considerate, though.

I think Santa's like, it's only missionary, and you have to remain silent.

I think is like what Santa's.

I think that's where Santa's.

I mean, he is immortal.

He might be a little stuck in a prior age.

A little conservative.

Yeah.

We went to, when I was on podcast The Ride, we went and did to Santa's Secret, which is an installation.

That is a little bit naughty.

You would do it.

Santa should have delivered you a gift.

This This is what I was going to say.

I mean, the episode is paywalled on PTR.

I have my thoughts extensively there, but there is a moment where, like, as part of the pre-show,

you're walking in and they say, is anyone in your party naughty?

And I was like, everyone pointed at me.

They were like, they were like, Weiger's naughty.

And I was like, I'm not naughty.

I'm very nice.

And the woman there, who's kind of like a dominatrix-coated, like Santa's helper, she goes, That's what the naughtiest boys say.

Is that they're nice.

That's your number.

Fuck.

Kind of a catch-22 there.

Yeah.

God.

Yeah.

You really just like granite at that point, I'm sure.

Fucking rock hard.

The dumbest thing I've ever gotten angry at you for wages is like, we're going to do it and we're going to go to Santa's Secret with Eva.

And then one night I'm driving home from somewhere.

I'm like kind of a faraway place.

I forget where I was.

I was driving from

some fucking area.

And I get a text from you saying

you're heading to Santa's Secret.

And I was fucking pissed off.

I was, I was mad.

I thought you were out of town.

But I was back.

Wasn't I back?

I thought I was coming back.

I was pissed off.

Yeah.

Let's litigate this.

However,

you didn't miss out on that.

All right.

Yeah.

Fair enough.

We'll go next year.

Yeah, we'll go.

I mean,

it was a Mike Carlson initiative, so I'll put it on him.

But he was just basically like, we're going.

And I was like, okay, I'll go without Mitch.

It worked out.

A little naughty.

Yeah, it is.

That was naughty of Mike.

Was it better than?

Look, I'm going to say this.

Last night, I was having a great night.

Everything turned when we got to our rest.

We went to Planet Hollywood.

So I said all this.

I teeted this up a half hour ago.

Robert Earl found this in 1991.

It reopened.

It vastly overexpands,

contracts.

How many were there at its peak?

At its peak, there were several dozen.

I don't have the exact count in front of me.

Like, what's the weirdest place that had a Planet Hollywood?

Like, was there like a Toledo Planet Hollywood?

Well, there was famously a Cape Town, South Africa location that was bombed.

Oh, so

in retaliation for U.S.

airstrikes, also naughty.

Although those U.S.

airstrikes were also naughty.

Those were pretty naughty.

Yeah, double naughty.

Anyway, so it's still.

They had a whole bunch of locations.

They were all over the world.

Now it's down to three.

And

it's just the one in Disney Springs, the one in Cotter, and then the one in

Dubai one or anything like that.

That's the Cotter location.

The Cotter location.

Yeah.

And then there is the.

Welcome back.

and then there is the newly reopened location in times square which resumed operations in february of this year and there's there's not a Vegas one or anything there's not a Vegas one there's a Vegas casino but it's the pH casino and basically has no relationship right mostly you just learn if you're acidic or alkali

there's also it has the LAX

mini Planet Hollywood closed now oh that's obviously not a proper location but last night that sounds like a really great place.

There were only

I saw it not that long ago.

It's in the, it's, I think it's in the Tom Bradley International.

So that one's still going.

Yeah.

So they're

still going.

There was an airport location.

I was just like, this sucks.

It's like a chaos.

But they opened one in Malta in 2019 that has since closed.

Yeah.

Do you know who I saw at the, can I just quickly tell you who I saw at the Planet of Hollywood

at the airport?

Sully.

And I was like, oh, they got Sully on display?

He's like, I actually have a flight to take.

And I said, oh, good luck.

And then that actually was the flight where

you were.

Oh, wow, that's wild.

It was a connecting flight in New York.

Oh, yeah.

Do you know what's wild?

Is I was there one time

and a door opened.

And the person I saw there, I shouldn't even say person, was James P.

Sullivan, top scarer.

And he said, oh, sorry, wrong door.

And then closed it.

That's it.

This is in a child's bedroom.

Yeah, right.

That's an interesting.

I just went, wait.

that's so crazy because i was there once

and who i saw yeah yeah uh and like i'm kind of like squinting like like who like oh my god i can't believe it's actually him uh was a jake sully um from pandora yeah

human former avatar no he was an avatar for okay right and i was just like you're so you're just like this now he's like yeah i'm just like this Yeah, you know, sometimes, you know, there's in-flight activity.

That was what you said to him.

Yeah.

So you're just like this now.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm just like this.

No questions about why I'm here, huh?

Kind of what happened at the end of the first movie.

You know, I just like, it became like this.

Yeah.

I didn't tell you who Sully was sitting with

when he was at the Planet Hollywood.

Sully from Monsters Inc.

He just said that.

That's what Griffin just said.

Fuck.

Disaster.

I didn't hear him say it.

I said James P.

Sullivan.

I thought it was funnier if I referred to him by his proper name.

I like the choice.

Thank you.

I stand by it.

Look, we're editing this out.

I can't be embarrassed like this.

Here's the thing I remember, though, in all seriousness, right?

Because I do,

there's often good options in in-flight entertainment, but I think a good, long flight is a good excuse to load some stuff up on your iPad and knock out things on your watch list.

100%.

And just know you have that.

Yeah.

And I was flying from LA back to New York, and my flight got delayed many hours.

And I was like, what am I going to do?

I guess I'll just watch one of the things I have loaded.

And so, what I saw at that plane in Hollywood was Tully.

Wow.

They watched the Jason Wright movie.

Wow.

Tully.

Is it Charlize Throne?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And Mackenzie Davis.

Right.

But you could say that I saw Tully.

Well, you know who I saw was, I thought it was initially Mark Wahlberg, but then I realized it was him playing the character of Sully from Uncharted.

Of course.

Oh, of course.

You remember how he was going to be Nathan Drake, and then it took so long to make the movie that they were like, you have to play Sully now.

You're like hot, young uncle without a mustache.

Right.

So that was good.

That was good.

And he really, he hit me with some of those great singers he has in the movie.

He's lines

because when you saw him, he probably had the mustache that he gets in the mid-credits.

Right.

Oh, that's right, of course.

Because, of course, that's canonically happened.

And I remember that movie, and I waved through the credits.

And you said, and you're just like this now.

Do you know who you know who else I saw with sitting at the table with Sully Solenberger from at Planet Hollywood?

Who's it?

The big blue guy from that Pixar movie.

That's this guy, Furry.

Did anyone do that one?

That's clean.

That's all you.

Yeah.

I'm browsing the Sully Wikipedia page right now, but we're running low.

Yeah, not a ton of Sullies.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm probably missing.

Who's the most famous Sully?

Is it Jake Sullenberger?

No.

Jake Sully Sullenberger.

Sully Sullenberger.

Because I think Jake Sully is.

Let's go back to kids also.

Kids.

Yes.

They know it's Monster Zinc.

That's what I'm saying.

Oh, man.

Is it Monster Zinc?

It might be Monster Zinc.

Certainly my daughter, again, who should be the test, I guess, for all of this, she knows Sully for Monster Zinc.

She doesn't know Sully.

Did you call him Kitty or Sully?

She calls him Sully.

Okay.

Or Monster, honestly.

It's wild in terms of Sully crossover.

Sully appears.

I call Sully Solenberger monster for what he did to those birds.

Should feel ashamed of himself.

Sully Solenberger appears at the end of

what's the fucking, what is that franchise?

It's not Daddy's Home, is it?

Daddy's Home as well.

Yeah, it's Daddy's Home.

Yeah.

With Mark Wahlberg.

Yeah.

Right, right.

Who is, of course, his best role ever was Sully and Uncharted.

And now also the rehearsal, there's a lot of Sully's stuff in the rehearsal, which you probably haven't seen, but it's very, very,

it's so crazy that Sully's name is Chesley.

You know what I mean?

Where you're like, Sully, what a hero.

Right.

And you're like, I wonder why he's called Sully.

Oh, his name's Chesley.

He must have wanted out of that as fast as possible.

He's like two years old.

He's like, you can call me Sully.

Yeah.

Chesley is not.

Yeah, Chesley's rough.

That's a tough one.

So we go to Planet Hollywood last night.

We had a 9.30 p.m.

reservation on a Monday, which is not ideal.

We were

seeing a huge move.

The reason this window is to create out.

Right.

I had a press screening of Mission Impossible, the final reckoning, at 6:30.

So I was like, well, I'm going to be in Times Square.

We were going to be recording blank check with you guys right before, leading right up to this.

Yes.

And I was looking forward to getting the mutton chop at Keynes, one of the great New York dishes.

You ever had the mutton chop?

I have not.

It's extremely good.

I don't know, no.

One of the only restaurants in New York that still cooks mutton, which is sort of like a kind of an old-fashioned food.

Right.

But then, of course, Griff's like, well, we could switch to Planet Hollywood at 9.30.

They've got a res.

So I can't tell you how frustrating this is for me, who's been here for four days.

Sure.

Right.

Where you...

You had an opportunity to get Keynes in the interim.

I did have an opportunity.

Not really, but kind of had an opportunity.

It was actually even a week before the only reservation was a Monday that was available.

I could have gone solo, but also I thought you were going to come out earlier than you did, which is fine that you didn't, but it's fine.

So we go to Planet Hollywood.

This is what I want to say.

We sit down, and it's just me and Griff.

I think two of our friends were there, but most people hadn't arrived yet.

We ultimately had a party of eight.

It was the four of us.

Gabris joined us.

Producer Ben joined us.

Marika joined us and her friend Anna Maria joined us.

Yes.

Yep.

And we sit down and they're like, hey, welcome to Planet Hollywood.

It's pretty dead in there.

Yeah.

You know, there's a couple people sitting at tables.

It was pretty dead.

You almost immediately say to me, this is what this is now?

I was a little alarmed.

I expected to be greeted by like a Sylvester Stallone mannequin or whatever.

And then the waiter's like, by the way, we close at 10.

And he just says, we close at 10.

I go to the bathroom, I come back, and you go, so there's a situation.

The kitchen is closing in 15 minutes.

The restaurant is ostensibly closed in 20 minutes.

By the way, totally reasonable for the kitchen to close 15 minutes before the restaurant closes.

But they let us make a reservation for eight at yesterday.

That seems like the mistake.

I will also say I was a little surprised because, like, Times Square is where you go for dinner after theater.

Yeah.

So most of those places stay open really late because it's not like

those chainy sort of like Ruby Twitter.

There's a market except right.

Yeah.

Maybe it's just that the quality of Planning Hollywood is Plant Hollywood a little lower than some of these spots.

So maybe no one's showing up.

I'm just me talking telling tales out of school.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Meanwhile, there's just an empty table at Keynes

Where they're just putting the meal, they're just putting meals down on the empty table.

Serving ghosts.

We were at the Long Acre Tavern.

Oh, it's go ahead, Griff.

No, I just want to say, because the other thing in the mix here is there was a lot of back and forth about what options are kind of interesting.

And we kept, Dallas BBQ was the other one that kept bubbling up.

You have a lot of fondness for is a very, like, despite the name, weirdly, a very New York chain.

It is a proper New York chain.

It's totally mediocre barbecue.

It's very cheap and it's it's all over the city.

And like would be a funny experience.

Like there's a lot to talk about there.

They have these absurd Deglo drinks and there's like a vibe there in all corner restaurant weirdly.

Yes.

I famously saw the rent is too damn high that guy there once.

Wow.

Smell after a Dallas BBQ.

And you know what I said to him?

What's that?

Rent is too damn high.

And you know what he said?

What's that?

Too damn high.

That rolls.

I was like,

I basically was like, I think I only want one thing out of this interaction.

I said, rent is too damn high.

And he went, too damn high.

I was like, all right, I did it.

Maybe the most correct politician of like the past 20 years.

You're so good, but it was also one of those things where I was like, don't ask him any more questions.

I don't know if I'm going to like anything else this guy's got to say.

Do you remember when he was on the Gethard show and talked a lot about his sex life?

Yep.

It was pretty good.

They had him do a presidential debate with Connor Ratliff.

He reached out to every presidential candidate he was the only one.

Ratliff kind of holds his own, though.

Ratliff killed it.

Yeah.

But Dallas BBQ, we were talking about, right?

Yeah.

You guys we knew had been at a bar nearby watching the game.

Longacre Tavern.

Watching

game four of the NBA second round.

So now it's like 9:40, and I text you guys, like, hey, a curse game.

High stakes.

Kitchen closes in 15 minutes.

Ostensibly, the restaurant closes at 10.

They're not going to kick us out, but who knows how long they let us stay?

I'm kind of thinking we just jump over to Dallas BBQ.

Right.

There is

a block away, and it was open till midnight.

We were, I was, I was physically in the restaurant when you proposed this.

Yes, right.

And I had just turned to Sims and Marika and Maria and said, I'm inclined to just pull the trigger.

If we don't hear back from them in the next two minutes, let's just walk over there and tell them that's where we are.

At that exact moment, you guys walked in.

Yeah.

And there was this feeling of, we're here, let's do this.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I said, let's leave, to be clear.

I said, let's get out of here.

It was too close to a closing.

I was ready to get out of there.

And then also, I'm the one who gets punished in the end for this, which we'll get into in a second.

We're at the Long Acre Tavern.

The game's going well for Celtics family.

Celtics live for the the first three quarters.

Things are going well.

Gabris comes from his, he's on Seth Meyers.

It's a nice celebratory night.

The game's going well.

We get some wings there.

We try some Long Acre wings and get mozzarella sticks.

We ate a meal before we even got there.

We just had a few bar snacks.

We had some bar snacks before we got there.

I got two hot dogs at the screening.

We walked.

I saw Glenn Gary Glenn Ross.

We did not see it.

We saw the

game.

This was a little like a five-minute delay because we went out of of a break.

It wasn't a five-minute delay.

Like it's a Glendair Glenn delay.

It was a two to three minute more delay.

We were already like, I said we should have left.

It was, what's that?

You had your autograph book ready.

Look.

To be fair, this was your only opportunity to meet Bob Odin.

You had to seize it.

Look, I saw it when we were walking to Longacre Tavern.

I was like, oh, that's where it is.

That's so cool.

And there was a show going that night.

And I had no idea that there was a show going that night.

I texted Bob.

They go every night.

Except Monday.

I texted Bob.

They actually flipped it because Kieran's request in terms of having different nights off with his kids.

Are you serious?

Yeah, they're open on Monday.

He talked about it.

There are rare shows that do a Monday.

I'm forgetting which day they take off instead, but they're

open last night.

It was a Monday.

That is weird.

Yeah, they were open last night.

And I texted you.

I'm so random.

Yeah.

I texted Bob.

I said,

I said, hey, I just saw the billboard here.

Congratulations.

So we walked by that way.

A car came out, probably holding one of them.

I don't know if it was Bob or who it was.

Uh, and I'll get back, I'll get back to that text later.

We get to the we get to the uh, we get to Planet Hollywood, it's about to close.

I wanted to leave, we did not leave.

The Celtics game turns horribly in so many.

It was there was a big player on a big

far away.

Pretty much the minute you walked in, it curdled in a way few games.

Like, the Knicks took the lead, took control of the game, and then Tatum got hurt.

He blew his whatever he did.

Yeah, whatever happened.

We don't know seems bad.

And it was so grim.

And the the vibes in Planet Hollywood, while lovely, could not abate the grimness.

And they were also not lovely.

Yeah.

They were bad.

So Planet Hollywood,

sorry, finish it.

I was full on Fantastic Four Grim levels of Grim.

You're about to fight the Yancey Street game.

I was very upset at everything going on right here.

And then also saw my text message had been read by Bob Utenkirk and not reacted to or repeatedly.

He actually gave you a thumbs down.

I think he gave me a thumbs down reaction.

I, it was, uh, I was, uh, I was, uh, everything was just not going well.

And this is before we ordered any food.

Yeah, so which we did hastily.

And Griffin, I will give you credit for just sort of like taking the reins and saying, I'm just going to put in a big order.

And because like we

were like, yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

So basically, exactly.

Right, right.

We did get blood orange margaritas all around.

These, these are made.

This was like, like, they basically said.

Can we just say the highlight of the meal already?

Our server, JJ, was like, I'm also the bartender.

I will make, I can make these well.

He said, I'm going to make them for you the way I make them for myself.

Right.

I think essentially a longer pour.

He gave us a sort of like a little bit of a look, and he was like, You're going to like the way I make these.

And he was not wrong.

Basically, the entire table order is a blood orange margarita, which he brings out.

Yes, these are made.

Didn't speak highly enough of JJ.

Love JJ was a real

part.

And he had a wicked wit.

He did have a wicked wit.

I love JJ.

Right.

And if you go over across, you'll see the wicked witch.

Yeah, that is true.

She just crossed 42nd.

Which I believe JJ has taken over that role this month.

Alphabet?

Yeah.

The Blood Orange margarities are made with the Rocks Tequila, Terramana Tequila.

So there you go.

There you go.

Wow.

And then we also got the.

We got to talk about the aesthetics in here because that is a big, that was the original attraction of Planet Hollywood.

Oh, right.

And so it's.

Have you guys ever been to old Planet Hollywood with the old stuff?

Yeah, the old school one way back in the day.

And that was like a hard rock cafe.

It was basically an attempt to just make a simulacrum of that, a movie equivalent of the hard rock cafe.

We've got all, like, hey, there's Eric Clapton's guitar that he played the Layla solo on, is on the wall.

It's the same sort of thing.

They'd just be like, hey, there's the leather jacket that Arnold Schwarzenegger wore in Terminator 2, and you can just see it physically.

All that shit is gone.

There is no physical memorabilia except for one wall that has

some framed art.

Yeah, it had some framed sort of prop newspapers.

Yes.

I call flat props.

I was unclear if they are, any of of them are original/slash reproductions.

They were, they probably were reproductions, but they were from two of my favorite movies: Annie, the first film I ever saw in a theater.

Wow.

John Houston's Annie.

Wow.

And The Great Batman Forever.

Right.

So we had like fake money from Batman Forever.

Yeah.

Annie newspapers.

Well, I also like this.

Two-Face Slays Three at Circus.

Yes.

Yeah.

Of course, reporting on the death of the Grayson family.

There was a fake New York magazine cover from Spider-Man 3.

There's Peter Parker's high school diploma from the first Spider-Man, the Raimi.

There's a Daredevil, Netflix Daredevil,

New York Bulletin cover, a Chris Reeves Superman Daily Planet, and fake money from Coming to America.

Oh, sorry.

Second Annie newspaper and blank stationery from Ghostbuster.

This is a theater.

The blank stationery from Ghostbusters was pretty great.

Of the memorabilia that they have.

It's a location.

It's a single wall of like

12-framed photos.

Yes, right across from the bathroom.

It's the wall that you swap.

It's a little smell coming through while you're looking at this.

The place is two floors.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I revealed to you that I had eaten there before last night.

Yes.

Three times, I believe.

This was the third time.

Are you serious?

I got some stuff to say.

I got some stuff to say.

Jesus.

I got some stuff to say.

You brought us back there.

I got some stuff to say.

Bitch, I get something to say.

We're missing this train.

Oh, 100%.

No, no, no, no, no.

You guys are going to be out there.

Nope.

Shortest episode ever.

Absolutely not.

I guarantee you.

We have two hours.

I really am nervous.

I guarantee we're making.

No, no, no.

Yeah.

Well, I'm getting my bagel no matter what you're getting i'll get you all right they don't know this i want a bagel before

i'll get your bagel the other times i've been there

i made on the second floor okay yeah where there is even less memorabilia how can there be less in the same spot uh-huh the vestibule wall against the two single stall restrooms there are just eight movie posters cool jesus it is just eight movie posters of new york movies i think it's like superman the movie annie like it's like a very similar batch of movies right but that is it.

So the the like it's kind of got the pseudo sort of all ages kind of nightclub vibe like in terms of the lighting in there and then it is very much yes a child's idea of what a nightclub would be right and then and then it's got these these huge video walls which are just playing um loops of either movie montages of dancing set to popular songs or like the periodic movie clips but it's mostly kind of mostly savers yeah exactly yeah there were a lot of like kind of windows music visualizer type things there were some sort of like what felt very like ai interactive backgrounds where like at one point for five minutes we were kind of like surrounded by a steam spun punk space right but then sometimes it would just be like footage of a kid in a grass of wheat a field of wheat um i don't think they were ever like playing isolated clips as much as they were either playing music videos from movie soundtracks that had clips like yeah that weekend's black panther song.

Yeah, there were a couple other ones like the jellyroll song they were playing.

Some of the music videos they played had no relationship to movies whatsoever.

I started seeing different like insignias and stamps that kept showing up on the like music montages where they'd like pick a pop song, like

not I got a feeling, but something like that, and then play like different footage of great dances from movies.

And I noticed at a certain point that all of them are just from YouTube channels, right?

This is not their own proprietary stuff that like one of the videos they ended on these big screens with like please remember to rate reviews subscribe they're either so they're either not just playing these without permission or these are licensed youtube videos and some of the some of the like some of the images that they were showing were also strange like dark moments from movies too on top of that and some dark films yeah but also like

Just to have a point of comparison to something we discussed in the recent past with you, Griffin, it's fundamentally what they've done is the same creative slash brand decision

that Chuck E.

Cheese made, which is ripping out all of the physical portion of it that was actually like, you know, the original attraction, ripping out all the animatronics

at Chuck E.

Cheese.

Taking the truck.

Taking the chuck out of Chuck E.

Cheese.

Same thing applying to Hollywood.

Taking almost all the memorabilia completely out of it and just basing it around what they have at Chuck E.

Cheese now, which is just looping video entertainment.

So they, at their peak, I just looked it up, had like 60 locations, obviously multiple continents, right?

2001 is sort of the beginning of the end for them.

It goes down to 35.

It's been like narrowing even more since then.

They declared bankruptcy twice in that era, like I think 99 and 2001.

There was a Times Square location, but not in the same spot that we went to last night.

I believe it was on 45th and Broadway elevated.

And that started out as the all-star sports cafe, which was Robert Earle's

sports answer to, because right after Planet Hollywood, he was like, I'm going to do the same with sports.

I'm doing the same with supermodels.

There was the fashion cafe and Rockefeller Center.

There were, I think, two different Planet Hollywood locations.

I loved them as a child because I didn't really like food, but I loved movies.

Yeah, sure.

And so my parents would be like, you need nourishment.

And I'd be.

And I still don't think you like food.

This is, look, it's.

It is a thing I've talked about with my therapist recently, a real question of like, do I like food at all?

Or am I viewing food as means to an end to accomplish something else?

Which is not probably a good way to view it.

But like, is this funny to eat this?

Sure.

We always are eating at pretty bad places with you, pretty gnarly places with you.

Yes, um, I went to a

different section where there was some more memorability.

I don't know if I told you guys this, but it was like, uh, it was like the muffin from Saving Private Ryan.

I was like, what's the muffin from saving private Ryan?

And it was like, the pencil from La La Land.

I was like, the pencil from La La Land?

Am I, do I not know these references?

And then the shoe from Aladdin, but it was the animated Aladdin.

So I don't know what that, I don't know if it was just like an animator's shoe.

Right, yeah.

Yeah, or if I don't, I don't know where the shoe came from.

Yeah, yeah.

But yeah, this is a different section.

I don't think you guys saw this.

Well, I went there, but the muffin was gone, and there was just the wrapping and some crumb.

Savan Priori was pretty good.

And weirdly, I went back there as well, and the pencil was gone.

I thought that was a writer joke, but it's me eating the pencil instead.

I actually, I stopped by that area too, because I was on the way to the restroom

and the shoe from Aladdin had a bite taken out of it.

And I slurped the laces up like spaghetti, which honestly would have been a better meal than what we ate.

Yeah, so, okay, so

to my point,

yeah, right.

They, they had this location that was the kind of classical, exorbitant, filled with memorabilia.

Um, that closed.

It was sort of like in a weird state.

At a certain point, like half of its footprint became a Buka de Beppo, but it was still Planet Hollywood and Buka coexisting.

Then I think it closed like right before the pandemic.

And then, like, six months into lockdown, they announced like we will reopen on the other side of the pandemic with a new concept.

And they were like, this isn't going to be your parents' Planet Hollywood.

And in those years, the other locations that still have the original theming are all starting to close down.

And like 18 months ago, there was a huge Planet Hollywood memorabilia auction that continued to go viral online because people kept seeing

from Demolition.

Of which they had like 20.

So people are starting to realize, oh, a lot of their memorabilia were reproductions.

Yeah, of course.

That they were taking molds of certain things so that every location could have an endoskeleton.

I almost bought the axe from

The Shining.

This is the truth.

I almost bought the axe.

I think they said it to you.

Fun stuff, and there was so much of it that a lot of it was surprisingly cheap.

Yeah.

I should have bought the axe from The Shining.

It's fucking cool.

You thought about it.

It was really expensive.

Yeah.

What you...

It was like 10 10 grand, it was like wait, it was five figures, yeah, it was five figures, yeah,

but

thank you.

Uh, but you did end up with the um, uh, the book from The Shining,

yeah, and then I know, and then you saw it the next day, and there were it was crumbs, there was just book crumbs, all book, and no

meal makes Jack a hundred dollars.

I also know that

you were bidding on the shower from Psycho, but there was a no-come policy,

So then she went to the stairs.

And you tried to buy the Exorcist stairs, but you already have too many stairs in your house.

I just had to think of stairs.

I crab walked down mine as well.

When they were selling all the memorabilia, I was like, crab walk.

I mean, I'm eating crab just walking down them.

Oh, it's a lot of stairs to go down.

I better get some crab.

Some crab.

Still the most famous stairs, movie stairs?

Exorcist stairs?

I think Joker stairs supplanted them.

Oh, geez.

Maybe.

Oh,

I was thinking Joker.

We can go to the bronx you can just climb up the joker stairs we should have gone we should have gone

we should have gone wiggle on the joker

if i'm on the joker stairs people are ducking and covering exactly clear out the neighborhood

a lot of people came over to you while you were sitting there and they thought it was from the elephant exhibit uh gus van sand's allison

uh

look i was thinking i was thinking of the stairs inside the house but the more famous exorcist stairs

he goes down at the end, which are real.

That's in Georgetown.

You can go climb them.

We can see them in D.C.

That's true.

That's true.

But yes, when this reopened, I was like, well, it makes sense they consolidate their memorabilia collection because they have very few locations that are.

Sure, so they'll all be in this one spot.

And like, how exciting?

They keep saying, like, we feel the old concept is outdated.

We're going to try something new.

But when I get there for the first time and there is nothing, it is astonishing.

And my immediate thought is, why does this place exist then?

And why is it?

What is it offering?

What is the Hollywood aspect of it?

So the first time I went, the server said, Hi, have you ever been to Plan of Hollywood before?

And I went, yeah.

And she went, but probably the old one, right?

And it was very clear this was a script they were giving, right?

And going, yeah, it's a little different now.

The concept is kind of, what if you're in the movie instead of a bunch of stuff on the walls?

And then she looked around to the sort of Windows music visualizer graphics and then clearly script dropped, just went, actually, I don't know what this movie is.

And it immediately fell apart.

And I've noticed that the other two times I've been last night, there was no sort of messaging like that.

Yeah.

There was the sense of need to be like, the concept is.

And some of their visuals felt like it was supposed to be like, this is a generic movie environment.

You're on the moon or whatever.

I did, I genuinely thought that the lights changed at one point, but I wasn't sure if they were trying to kick us out or if the screen just changed.

I couldn't tell what it was.

But places like wall-to-wall screens.

There's a giant rapper.

Projections.

Yeah.

But there's a version with the video installations where they could evoke that.

They could be like, hey, everyone's going to be black and white.

It's going to feel like a noir for a little bit.

We're going to go to, like, we're going to have a big sunset.

It's going to feel like a western.

The music changes.

And instead, they're just playing generic, yeah, like YouTube.

I would think that concept sucks in relation to eat next to a batarang.

I agree.

I would appreciate that level of effort, which now is astonishing they won't even put that much in.

For sure.

I'm not trying to demean Old Planet Hollywood, but doesn't Old Planet Hollywood suck too?

Yeah.

Okay.

So, like, they made it worse.

It was also bad.

It was pretty bad.

It was also bad, but now it just feels like a cheap cash-in on the existing brand when they could make a legitimate nostalgia play.

And, like,

it's much like Chuck E.

Cheese.

It feels like the culture has come back around to it.

And there is this like weirdly robust market for vintage Planet Hollywood merch.

Right.

Like, people wanting to buy the old wall cats

and the fucking cool.

And at some point, point they changed their logo because they clearly thought the planet was like kind of cheesy.

And we're doing this sort of pH in the circle that the casino has.

Sure.

When they reopened this, they were like, we're back to the planet.

And it's like Chuck E.

Cheese, where they know there is nostalgia associated with this thing.

And yet we're doing everything else in our power to distance ourselves from any memory you have of what this was.

Like imagine if you're buying like $300 denim jackets.

Yeah.

Like imagine if you could come to this version in 2025 and it's like, hey, it's Oppenheimer's hack.

I mean, like, we've got like some, some new memorabilia from the new movies that you love, you know?

Like, there's a version of that, but then it also has kind of the classic stuff.

It has all the 90s, you know, nods that we'd expect.

I don't know.

There's definitely a.

You gestured at me at one point.

Were you going to say something to me?

What are you talking about?

You gestured at me.

You went like this, and then you stopped.

Just for emphasis.

Oh, okay.

You are.

It was a Shakespearean type thing.

No, it's just getting riled up.

I'm just saying that there's a version.

I do think Doughboys is very Shakespearean.

It is one day definitely going to end with everyone dead on the ground.

You, you said to me at one point last night, you made your point about like this feels very twinned with Chuck E.

Cheese and what's happened, them taking out the tactile, taking out the emotional memory.

What is this even anymore?

If you remove that, and I said, Weiger, this is why I wanted us to come here because you guys have a platform and a responsibility.

And I think this place needs to be taken to task.

We are movie guys.

You are food guys.

What if we just had nice food, though?

Could have gotten like soup dumplings.

We could have gone to Keene.

We could have been at Keene's.

Let's just say it again.

I'm going to say.

I'm going to review Keynes.

We can't do an episode on Keenes.

We can have a nice dinner.

We don't have to.

Look,

what if the episode was just a nice dinner?

I would be crazy.

I was just sleeping.

Like, we had a nice dinner.

Look, I would have loved.

Something funny would have happened.

You would have spilled your soup or some shit.

We could still talk about it.

Wouldn't matter.

Went to Keene's and ordered soup.

You definitely would probably get a soup.

It's Keene's.

You might have a good soup.

I understand your frustration frustration because, like, that's the thing I hate about touring is like, I want to have, I want to be able to enjoy myself, and instead we have to eat some bullshit.

You added another bullshit meal onto it.

Yes, but I'm just also like, because we're already in work mode, and because we can make this happen.

It is Griffin.

Direct it all at him.

Come out of it.

Once you don't have to fight each other.

Gabrier shows up late and he just immediately goes, I had money riding on the idea that Griffin was going to ruin everyone's night.

And I was like, yeah, that's pretty much the bit.

I'd bang that over.

I did like that with some of the Planet Hollywood merch, that they do have like a flat Planet Hollywood for that's like updated for like people.

That is nice, yeah.

It's not

you don't have to have a round planet Hollywood, which is nice.

It is good.

Yeah.

So JJ was our server, as I mentioned.

We got

I want to give a shout out to Vinny as well.

Vinny's also a Vinny up and coming.

Vinny had a self-imposed nickname that I don't know if we're allowed to.

I don't know.

Is anyone here Italian?

Itching to say it.

I am itching to say it, but I, if you're not Italian, I don't, Vinny, the G word, I guess, is the Italian slang.

I don't think I can say it.

Sure.

I do want to.

You're right.

But

Vinny was an Italian man, and he was a stand-up, and he was, and he was a self-given name of Vinny, the, you can put, you can fill in the blanks, but that was Vinny's, and Vinny was having a lot of fun with us.

And at one point at the end,

Vinny came up to us and it was very sweet.

And we got some nice merch.

Yes.

And Vinny said, I love you guys.

And Gavers responded, I love you, Vinny, and said the name to him.

And I was like, I love you too.

And we're all saying, I love you to this guy who we barely know.

Sounds like a good night.

Who was also pretty annoying.

But I would say.

JJ was great.

I think we were an enjoyable table because we ordered a ton of food and ordered a lot of drinks and we were also like kind of gregarious and like having a good time

in a otherwise quiet corner of the room.

We We weren't.

Yeah, exactly.

We weren't.

They loved the table that came in and ordered a shit ton of food at 9.50.

But also, let's acknowledge that they came over and said, heard a rumor, there's a comedian at the time.

That is right.

And we don't know who they met.

And they framed it as one, and we were like, are any of us still technically comedians?

Right, yeah.

Basically, everyone on that table worked in comedy in some way for a guest media.

Sure.

But even I have to say, Gabriel

Gabriel did get noticed for guy code later that night.

Yeah.

Laptop.

Oh, you're fuck.

Well, hi.

Chris, I'm just letting him know.

He's just fucking things up.

Yeah, that's good.

That's right.

Read it off your fucking lap.

Read it off your fucking little lap.

Just don't tis tis me.

We're two hours in, by the way.

Horny shit episode.

I told you we're missing the train.

We're going to miss the train.

That's fine.

We're not.

We're missing a train.

Mitch isn't going to get a baywalk.

I'm going to order.

We had a baby.

I'm getting the fucking bagel.

So we got a.

Let me get through the food.

Yeah.

Walk of Fame high roller.

This is like a physical Ferris wheel.

Yes.

The Ferris wheel of apps.

When you think of Hollywood, you of course think of the famous Ferris wheel.

Just because Hollywood has so much in common with the circus.

Right.

It's the Ferris wheel.

In a way, it does.

In a way, it does.

And who's in charge?

Clowns.

That is true.

I agree with that.

Akin to the wagon wheel sampler we got at Black Angus.

This is just like an over-the-top presentation of some standard apps.

World famous Chicken Crunch, Black and Shrimp, Prime Rib Sliders, Guacamole, Buffalo Wings.

Also came with a separate container with chips.

So the chips from the guacamole were not a part of the wagon wheel.

I'm sorry,

the Walk of Fame high roller.

And the chips were on a plate next to two sauces, but the sauces weren't for the chips.

They were for the chicken crunch.

Whereas the guacamole was on the wheel.

You had to reach the chips

within the wheel.

You had to reach into the air to the elevation to dip the guacamole.

It feels like the guacamole should have been on the side, if anything.

Yeah, but like, or just don't do any of that.

Or just don't do any of that.

And to be clear, the wheel does not spin.

The wheel does not spin.

No, it's just

the wheel sucks, and I think all these apps were bad.

We also got some garlic bread.

We got the nachos grande, which was

grande.

They were big as fuck.

Yeah.

This was like a coffee table-size portion of nachos.

It is personally, Mitch, I don't know if you have a different experience.

The biggest plate of nachos I've ever been served.

For the podcast, it was cute.

I think, yes, 100%.

For the podcast, especially.

For them to have height like that is mostly, you know, I think of of nachos more spread out.

Tall nachos.

It looked like it was a mashed potato sculpture from fucking close accounts.

It was a mountain of nachos.

When I got to nachos after you, there wasn't a lot of toppings off.

You kind of went to little piggy mode.

I had, I took, first off, there weren't a lot of toppings on there.

That was part of the issue.

Okay, interesting.

But I did not take too many toppings.

But like, also, I was not the first person to get to the nachos, Mitch.

Those had made their way around.

Nachos were on our side first, I will admit.

Well, you know, I'm just saying that like, if people came in there, they maybe would have confused you for a babe pig in the city because you were being a little fucking.

And you were in the city.

I wasn't in the city.

And you have to admit to that that you were in.

Yeah, I was in the city.

Right.

Boink, oink.

Some people might have thought that if they weren't paying attention closely, that you had actually flown into the restaurant via umbrella because you had a bit of a Mary Toppins fight.

What?

Mary Toppings.

What?

I'm trying to make it about the movie.

I like

it.

I was trying to think of what pig used an umbrella to fly.

I was, I was very, but I, but I liked Mary Toppings, but you were, you were also a little bit of a piggy.

Yeah.

Occupy Made War.

They're their little pig maids.

It's fun.

Producer Ben Hosley.

Yeah, the Ben Ducer.

This was his comment.

I transcribed it.

He said the nachos looked like someone took a giant, massive shit on them.

Yes.

They really were pretty thick.

They really were pretty ugly.

They didn't taste good either.

I mean, like, nachos are pretty easy.

What was on top of it?

It was sour cream.

I don't know.

You had all the topics.

on there.

Yeah,

I'll open up the menu.

It is cheddar cheese, chicken chili, pico de gallo, jalapenos, black olives, guacamole, and sour cream.

Yeah.

It was mountainous and it was pretty unpleasant.

We also got an order of garlic bread, which I maybe mentioned.

Garlic was okay.

Garlic bread was okay.

A couple of items off of the.

Honestly, it wasn't that good.

The Planet Hollywood icons menu.

These are things that were from the old school Planet Hollywood.

One of them is the aforementioned chicken crunch.

LA lasagna is another one, which is like a deep-fried lasagna, basically.

And St.

Louis barbecue ribs.

Those were so bad.

Those were fucking fucked up.

I didn't touch those.

The ribs were not.

You're like, how do you fuck those up that bad?

Yeah.

The LA lasagna, which I did like when Vinny brought it out and said, straight from Los Angeles, the LA lasagna.

Because, you know, we're from L.A.

I was like, hey, that's fun.

We'll bite a home.

You asked me why I warmed the cockles of your heart.

You asked why it was so insistent on us going here, and it was out of consideration and empathy for you boys.

You're in New York, the big scary city.

You might be homesick.

I'm trying to say that.

It was helpful for that reason.

I agree.

Also, I saw Garfield was at another table, and he was eating the L.A.

lasagna.

I thought it was really cute.

It was crazy because it was

Monday.

Yeah, it was a Monday.

And he hates Mondays.

Well, I think this is probably a little pick-me-up along Sunday.

I'm going to cheat myself to some L.A.

lasagna.

Also, he's with Sidney Sweeney.

Yeah, I don't know what I, I mean, infer what you like from that.

I don't know.

Yeah, I have no idea.

We're just recording what we saw.

That's all.

Yeah.

And what's going on there?

Garfield's looking pretty trim.

Yeah.

I think he's taking the shot.

I think he's on the shot.

He was not showing any restraint in eating that L.A.

lasagna.

That is also a good point, but I think he might have to be.

Hollywood might have kind of gone to Garfield's head a little bit.

I don't know.

Maybe, you know, kind of stay in shape.

Maybe his doctor recommended it.

Sure.

Sure.

The chicken crunch, the world famous, in classic Planet Hollywood, was advertised as...

Oh, yeah.

Sorry, I actually did.

I walked by Garfield's table and I saw that he was on a

Meow Jaro.

That's wild.

You saw that, huh?

Meow Jaro.

Meow Jaro.

You got it.

Yeah, sure.

That's wild.

Wow.

Hey, good for him.

What else do we want to do?

I went to a different table.

Interesting.

I didn't see anyone at Planet Hollywood.

We were just going to miss the train.

Go on.

What was at the other table?

I was missing the train.

odi was there okay

and he was eating the nachos wow okay yeah and he went i i think i it was sort of translated underneath him because he was only speaking in barks sure yeah yeah but it was translated underneath i asked for human food

wow and he was there with kaya gerber and if and if you do miss the train i want you to really reflect on that

while you're on it while you're on the platform at Penn Station,

the LASTA

is there anything else?

No, we got a baby.

What's the next?

We got a baby Jim, uh, Jim Caesar salad.

We got a cheeseburger cheeseburger, yeah.

That Caesar salad was all right.

That was the best thing we had.

Caesar sad.

I thought the Caesar salad was actually kind of bad, still, it was still kind of bad, but it was okay.

It felt like a thing that you could get at an airport and be like, hey, that was a serviceable salad, sure.

Which is, yeah, you know, whatever.

That's that's the

in comparison to everything else, I think it was a standout.

The cheeseburger cheeseburger is an eight-ounce beef patty with melted cheddar, onion, crisp pickles, signature sauce, served on a toasted Brioche spun.

A reference, of course, to one of my favorite movies, Saturday Night Live.

This cheeseburger, well, look, look, well, hold on.

Hold on.

You cannot do this yet.

I have to tell my story.

Okay.

Also, I do want to say that when I walked by Odie's table, I did see some bone Zempic.

Mitch is worth it now.

Because I will admit that I failed.

It was good.

But Mitch said

my brother had my back.

Yeah, yeah, that was good.

I

so I did see some bone zempic, but I will say this.

I need to start off by saying one of my first bites was from that fucking stupid Ferris wheel of food.

Yes.

And I took a bite of a chicken tender,

which everyone was raving about.

And it was one of the, we had two wheels, and it was one of those things where immediately I was like, this tastes like raw chicken.

I showed you Wags.

I said, does this look undercooked to you?

You said, yes.

Yeah, it did.

And it looked undercooked.

And I had, and look, this is what happens when you're rushing the kitchen.

There's 10 minutes.

Possible we rush.

Yes.

Our chicken tenders did not look undercooked.

Our side is very well cooked.

We all took bites and went, this might by default be the best thing.

It's not exceptional, but I think

Hazley, Gabrius, Marika, and I were all kind of like,

these are not bad.

In the old days of yore, surrounded by memorabilia, that was always sold as Captain Crunch breaded chicken tenders.

It does feel like they have lost whatever agreement they had.

So now the name has switched to world famous chicken crunch, and it has some descriptor that sort of alludes to Captain Crunch, but doesn't say it.

I thought they were okay.

There's a little bit of almost candy coating on there.

There's a little sweetness to it.

The LA lasagna is my favorite dish just because I'm like, if I'm going to eat here,

give me absurd dog shit.

Like, give me something that is like structurally silly and like over-the-top and like a bizarre big swing of it.

It was something, yeah, it's like lasagna tubes that are deprived.

That was one of my favorite, that was one of my favorite bites of the night.

I had fun with it.

I think it does what it is promising to do.

It's kind of evoking like a, you know, like an eggplant parm, a chicken parm, or like a toasted ravioli, the kind of thing of like, hey, this, this crunchy texture is coexisting with a marinara sauce and cheese.

And

it was fine.

It's fine.

Also, yes, it being over the top, at least it feels like there's some sort of gimmick being played here.

And that's a classic from the old menu, but there is such a lack of like even trying to fucking name the menu items.

Yeah.

Put any effort into it.

There was something sounding like Hollywood or sounding like it's out of a movie or being a movie rap.

You have a cheeseburger cheeseburger.

There was a salad that was called the Hollywood Bowl.

Yeah.

But most of it, they're just like spicy rigatoni.

Fuck you.

We did get a spicy rigatoni poppy.

I don't know if that was a movie reference or what the deal.

It reminds me there was a Soprano, there's a Sopranos like themed,

you know, food truck that sometimes in L.A.

And I've seen they've got Sopranos-themed sandwiches.

And I was like, oh, okay, there'll be like, you know, whatever, the Dr.

Melfi or something.

But it's like, no, it's none of that.

It's like, it's like the mob wife pastrami.

You didn't put any effort into actually using the Sopranos IP.

I also

like that has.

always been kind of my dream job.

Yes, right.

Get me in that room.

That's a theme idea.

Get me in that room.

Like shit like that, where it's like, hey, can you come up with like fun, dumb puns for like individual character posters for like CGI talking animal movies?

Or like, here's your theme restaurant.

What do you call each of these

dishes?

Like, that's the kind of comedy game that I would love to just idly sit around.

Here's like one.

They can't even try.

Nacho's Grande.

How about call that Nacho's Libre?

Yeah.

Just give, just give me something.

Pick any fucking movie.

Yeah, exactly.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Jared Hess riding high Minecraft movies.

He sure is.

Yeah, exactly.

Like, I walked by, you know what?

This is crazy.

This is like one of the only things.

What you're about to say is really interesting.

I'm already interested.

I'm leaning in.

This is one of the only movie reference things.

But I walked by Odie's table and he had the bone of interest.

He got the bone.

Now, how many times are you?

Are you circling his table?

He was with Kaya Gerber.

Mitch wanted to pee.

True.

It just feels like you're shuttling back and forth.

But I was like, one of the only movie things is your zone of interest is the bone of interest.

I know.

Yeah.

That to me was just, it just didn't.

It was in Porte.

It was interesting.

It was important.

It was in it.

Not me.

I'm not being in Portez by just talking about it.

No.

It was simply on the menu.

It was simply just on the menu.

And he ordered it.

Nick, is there anything you haven't mentioned that we got?

As far as food, I mean, look, no, the cheeseburger, cheeseburger, which I was going to get to, because you were talking about undercooked food.

Yes.

This is the other thing.

And like, look what?

I like, hey,

I'll take a medium, medium rare burger.

We ordered it medium rare.

Maybe an accident.

But this was, it was just flat out raw inside it's just to me i always at one of those places will order medium rare because they usually overcook yeah right like they usually and i would assume you order medium rare you'll get a medium burger at a plant it was raw it was pretty blue it was it was it was and i'll say this this ballus she

ballusi

it was eddie murphy

right and it did make mitch delirious it did make her on this i i it was that thing afterwards where i was i had cold sweats after we left right

and uh i and i and you were like do you think you have food poisoning i was like well i don't know does raw chicken and raw burger is that what does the combo of those two do do they offset each other or is it

i it was one of those questions where i was like i but i'll but i'm calling your shot you were like i i am going i am deeply worried i'm gonna be sick i was very worried i was gonna be sick and i did not feel good at all yeah yeah you were in a bad mood i was i was in it was all everything was everything had turned at this point that's right uh But I will say this.

Sadly, the burger did taste decent.

It was one of the things where you were like, if this wasn't so undercooked, cooked it a little more.

I would have, I would have liked, and I was eating the edge of the burger.

The fries look kind of bad.

The fries were bad.

They were like

chippy fries.

The rigatoni vodka, I thought, was just, you know, at least the Ellie lasagna had something to it.

This was just a really boring execution of it.

Well, that's always like with some brado.

Carbone, you know, the impossible to get into restaurant in New York.

Yeah.

They have like the spicy rigatoni.

Like, that's their thing.

Right.

Yes.

Don't just do like some famous New York dish at Planet Hollywood poorly.

Right.

And a big global LA food or whatever.

A big glob of burrow, which is burrows good, but it was like a cold blob of barota.

So I was sad burrow.

Who are you kidding here?

Yeah, right.

We're not.

You're not.

Because it could be high quality.

No, this is from Trader Joe's.

Just jumped on it.

You don't have like Furio back there.

You know, remember how Furio used to make the monster?

Yeah.

I just even, like, we all agreed that the cocktail was good, right?

The cocktail was good.

But it was just

there must be like cocktail had like alcohol and sugar in it.

Like, it wasn't bad.

And JJ took care of us.

JJ did care.

But like, they were not even really putting a lot of attention on the fact that it was teramana, right?

No.

I feel like Vinny was the one who was like, you know, that's the rock staquel in there.

Maybe it says on the menu, but I'm like, that is such a huge fucking market that, like, every cocktail they have should be like fucking Ryan Reynolds aviation Gin Martini.

100% lead on all the celebrities.

You feel like it's fucking about Hollywood.

Or maybe just close it down.

Don't have one.

Hollywood.

I like how you're like, it should be crass.

And I'm like, or it could just not exist.

So we put our order in in our house.

It's so bizarre to me, though, about them letting it close and then Robert Earle being like, I need to find a new location in the same neighborhood and reopen it because my new idea plan to Hollywood needs to exist.

I just, Hollywood doesn't even care about Hollywood anymore.

Ryan Reynolds cares about Mint Mobile more.

Like he wouldn't even care that it's nothing films in Hollywood.

Most movie stars seem more interested in their products.

Right.

It's bad news.

We're in a bad spot.

John Voynt's going to figure it all out, guys.

It's fine.

And also, Netflix is good.

Netflix is good.

And they're doing their best to help the energy.

Netflix is good.

We've released, I think, an episode where I was pretty mean to Netflix.

The state of Hollywood matches Plant Hollywood.

But what you were going to say, I like this take.

That's the truth.

You said you were going to say we put in our order and go off.

We put in our order in a hurry, and someone asked,

Do we also need to put in desserts?

And

yes, Mitch asked.

So we did also put in the Brownie Sunday martini and the candy bar Sunday, which also came in a martini glass.

Wait, there were two different ones.

They were two different ones, they were indistinguishable.

I think they might have given us.

They accidentally gave us two, they might have given us two Brownie Sunday mintines.

They were in like a comically oversized martini glass.

But I will say, when I looked at the pictures on the menu on the website,

they looked similar.

So, it's possible they were two distinctions.

So, was it?

You had to go through like so much whipped cream to get to anything.

You would have needed like a 20-inch long spoon handle

to get anywhere in there.

It was like you kept just taking bites of whipped cream.

And it was like a specific section of the menu that was shareable desserts.

And Gabris immediately said, This is one of the least shareable items I

have.

100%.

It was not ice cream.

That was elevated, also, so you had to like fucking do that.

So, was there candy bars in the bottom of the other one on the other end of the table?

Is that what it was?

Not that I noticed.

I don't think so.

Just falling vanilla ice cream down there.

Yeah.

They seemed identical.

And I put my whole, like, I was up to here.

My whole hand.

i'll say this i thought the dessert was tasty i did i mean it was ice cream with fudge and shit on it so i mean versus the cocktail where i'm like yeah of course it had like alcohol and sugar in it but i was like yeah but it was pleasant to eat i did have the feeling while eating the dessert of like this is the least i could probably enjoy these ingredients together like i'm getting a baseline sure it's like ice cream and brownies and shit i like this stuff and and also The gimmickery isn't doing anything.

Like it's like you're not getting anything from the decor, from, from the aesthetic of the establishment.

So, we toasted the big martini glasses together, and that was very funny.

That is fun.

But you're not

fun.

But you're comparing the overall experience to like

that, that just makes me think: I'd rather even just be in a TGI Fridays, just be in a Chili's, where that feels like it's a little bit more distinct to them.

And also, the food would be better.

A Chili's dessert would be better than the dessert you had here.

So, everything, the Celtics lose, Tatum is hurt.

The foods, I've eaten two raw things that shouldn't be raw.

And then worse than the worst thing of all is I eat this blood, the black and shrimp, and it was the thing that I was like, this makes me feel sick.

It was disgusting.

It wasn't great.

Black and shrimp was bad.

It was great.

It was rubbery.

Prime rib sliders I thought were tasted really gross too.

And the guacamole was whatever.

So gross.

They were disgusting.

They were a weird color.

They were

gray.

The only thing I think, yeah, the only thing.

I mentioned it's name with the Rooster Brothers, the Gray Man.

Yeah, that's maybe it was the Gray Man.

And also, on top of all that.

It also cost $240 million.

It was crazy.

Oh, yeah.

But you're sort of like, I don't see where that money would have went.

The credit card.

The money's clearly being spent somewhere other than the sandwich.

I am very genuinely wondering how much that whole meal costs.

I think it sounds, I think I would be, I'm afraid to hear what it was.

I can look it up.

My guess is it was bad.

But I took a picture of the rest.

We were eating for eight.

That's true.

We were eating for eight.

Yeah.

So.

And we.

And Marika said she took five bites of food total.

Is that what she said?

Party.

It was a party of eight.

Yeah.

There was 20% gratuity included because it was a large party.

The total with all the food was $670.17.

I also tipped on top of that because JJ did.

Very nice of you to do that.

That is less than $100 a head.

Not that I'm defending it.

It's not crazy.

But

it was mostly shareables.

Like, we did not get an entree for every person, essentially.

We got way too much food.

We did.

We definitely did not.

We absolutely did.

We got too much food.

Griffin was making some decisions in a hurry in his defense, and we got to try all of their seasoners' diet thing.

If that food had been good, I would have possibly eaten more.

I think that's

all so fast.

I could have overindulged, and I just was like, I had, I tasted everything.

It wasn't even full when we left.

We could have gotten one Ferris wheel.

We could have gotten one Ferris wheel, but it would have been tougher to share.

But let me just say that.

We might have gotten the raw one instead of the non-that's also very true.

The buffalo wings were also worse than the ones that we got at a tavern in Times Square.

Yeah, that's right.

And same thing with the ones.

But what I was going to say was this: I think this is what the experience is.

I think you're more likely to go with a larger group of friends and over order and from that standpoint it's completely under delivering you were having what approximating an actual planet hollywood experience like oh this will be a fun night out we'll go to this fun place we'll kind of enjoy this sort of environmental uh experiential dining thing and and we'll order a whole bunch of food and we'll kind of overindulge how's that and then you do that and it's just like this all sucked this was horrible what a waste of a night yeah and their social media they've been since this place reopened they've been really pushing like events and like happy hour but also also like themed nights.

He said that the entire JJ told me, first off, that he said they're packed on weekends, and he said that the entire top floor now is all for private events, right?

Oh, oh, so they don't do any service on the middle floor just because that's the other thing.

I was going to say, it does feel like who means they're like the church of Satan?

Well, they do like fucking.

I mean, seriously, but like, she's like, yeah, actually, the world's evil is centered on the

fantastical beard party space for bullshit with like bad DJs.

And like, you know, in a certain way, I do think not that it's like a money laundering scheme, but like to some degree, like this place being a restaurant might kind of be a loss leader for it being a place for people to hold tacky parties.

Yeah, maybe.

I got to say this.

We have to get to our final thoughts or else we got to enter the train eating hunt style.

Maybe, yes.

Is the place nearby?

Yeah.

And I should get an everything bagel, right?

Whatever you want.

I think I can get an everything bagel with cream cheese.

Wags, where are you going to get?

I don't know.

I might not get anything.

All right.

You're not getting anything.

Okay.

We need to get to our final thoughts.

Yeah, we do.

How we enter the train will be like, will it be like Fallout?

No, sorry, seven.

Dead Reckoning.

Will it be like Dead Reckoning?

Or it'll be like one.

I'll go on.

Sure.

Who knows which way, but we're not going to make it.

We're not going to have time because we need to end this episode.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Yeah.

Shortest episode ever.

So, Griff, would you like to start?

Yeah.

Hold on.

Let me

go.

Oh, there's more.

No, I'm just going to.

I have the way that I set this up.

We have, you know,

we get our final thoughts.

We say our fork scores.

But first off, I do want to say Planet Hollywood had its grand opening in New York City on October 22nd, 1991.

So let's play the box office game for that week.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, let's maybe actually

first week.

God damn damn it.

A comedy.

Say the month again?

Month in the week?

October 25th, 1991 is the weekend.

A little spooky.

Okay.

The first week is a comedy

opening

from New Line Cinema.

It's a comedy sequel.

It's a New Line.

1991 comedy sequel.

1991.

And I assume New Line would have released the original as well, but they were pretty fresh as a company at that point in time.

They were the hats that Freddy built.

They were more of a horror.

They're only a couple years in.

It's a new line comedy sequel.

Same stars reprising the roles?

Yes.

Yeah.

Okay.

It's not like Weekend at Bernie's 2.

It's not Weekend at Bernie's 2.

Thank you.

It is a good guess.

Newline comedy sequel.

Can you tell me something about one of the stars of the picture?

This is a duo.

This is a famous duo.

Oh, it's House Party 2.

That's right.

House Party 2.

Yeah, of course.

That was one of their big franchises.

So you want want everything with plain cream cheese toasted?

Yeah, what do you think?

Yeah, toasted.

What type of cream cheese should I get?

Should I get scallion or should I do

scallion?

Scallion's good if you want.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll do scallion.

Sure, it does sound good.

Do you have a sesame?

They do a sesame?

Of course, they do.

What if they were like, nah?

I don't know.

I don't know this place.

Why, you want one?

I'll do a sesame.

I'll put some scallion on it.

Why not?

Yeah, why not?

Well, it looks like you got a little fucking excited over it.

Number two, also in its first week, is

another comedy.

This one is targeted more at families it's more of a family comedy but it's a first yes it's from 1991 1991 it's a warner brothers family comedy

do you want the director yes please director is john hughes oh jesus

is a curly suit it is curly as not a bad movie his final film uh

any drinks or anything uh i'm good i'll probably just raid the head gum kitchen

they got like a what do they got they got something good let me see probably nothing but um number three uh this is in its second week.

Okay.

This is directed by Norman Jewison, Warner Brothers.

1991.

Norman Jewison.

Norman Jewison.

What is it?

Is it an Oscar player?

Not really.

Is it the DeVito one?

It's called Other People's Money?

That is correct.

It is Danny DeVito in Other People's Money.

Henry Peck.

Yeah, I've never seen it.

All right.

Number four was an Oscar play in its sixth week.

Okay.

This was a Tripwire.

This was a 90.

Oh, no, no, no.

It's an early.

Okay.

It's running for for the 92 awesome.

How about I get you a classic black and white cookie?

I love that.

Sandy Out the Door.

This is from TriStar.

Tri Car, directed by Terry Gilliam.

The Fisher King.

It's the Fisher King.

Good movie.

Wow.

And number five in its third week is a Gary Marshall picture released by Paramount.

Gary Marshall Paramount in 1991.

Is that Pretty Woman?

Or is that 1991?

No, Pretty Woman.

That's a touchdown picture.

Oh, of course.

And that was 90.

So this is his follow-up to Pretty Woman.

There are some huge stars in this.

It is a two-hander.

It is a romance.

Is it Frankie and Johnny?

It is Frankie and Johnny starring Pacino and Fiber.

Two of our best peas.

That's why you're the king of the box office game.

Rest of the top 10, The Butcher's Wife, Little Man Tate, Deceived, Ernest, Scared, Stupid, and Ricochet.

Ernest Scared Stupid in theaters.

Wow.

All right, let's get to our final thoughts.

So,

wasn't Beethoven like six, the one where it's a man instead of a dog?

Yeah.

That might not make sense, but it will.

But your kids will love it.

You know what's well?

I was watching Beethoven's 12th yesterday, he was looking really trim, and then I noticed he was chewing on some bone zemp.

I feel delirious.

I actually heard this is this is kind of like

I

shouldn't know this, but like we have the same, like, I know we go to the same vet, it's a small industry, yeah.

When you go to the same vet, yeah, I go to a vet, it's cheaper than going to doctors.

So, like, I asked, I was like, hey, Beethoven's looking really slim.

Is he he must be on bone zempa?

He said, no, he's actually on zep bone.

We're two hours in 25

episodes.

All right, so we'll get to our

final thought and our fork scores.

Griffin, this was your adventure.

Yeah.

Your thoughts, your fork score from zero to five.

Yeah, so here's my thing.

Right off the bat, full fork docked for lack of movie memorabilia.

We're starting there, right?

Like immediately.

I'm not saying that's the most, the full amount we're going to dock them for that.

You guys do negative forks?

Is that

100% can do a negative fork?

It didn't make me as sick as it did, Mitch.

And yet, I was telling Mitch, I couldn't really sleep last night.

My body did feel weird.

So that, I'm docking another fork for that.

Okay.

Right.

I think it is,

this place has no reason to exist anymore.

Yeah.

Right.

It's like, even there are so many similar kind of like Ruby Tuesdays, Apple Bee's, Olive Garden,

sort of

sit-down chain, overpriced, sort of like touristy, pre- or Broadway show restaurants that,

even if the food is slightly better or slightly worse, have their thing they do in terms of like kind of the focus of the cuisine, which Planet Hollywood does not.

So when the theming is removed, what the fuck is it anymore?

And New York Post recently reviewed this place and their food critic, who's very esteemed, New York Post, famous for their food reviews, said.

The twist, the food is shockingly good at Planet Hollywood.

Now, I think he was using shockingly in a way similar to how I described Joe Piscopo's performance in Johnny Dangerously recently.

Shockingly good in that I expect everything involved to be dog shit.

Yeah.

And there are some bites you can have that are serviceable, but also you could have better bites going to like a fucking bar and getting mozzarella sticks.

Yeah.

Or going to like Panera.

Or just blicking a subway station floor.

I mean,

just go see Pizza Rat.

Yeah.

I, I, I think this place is like One Fork?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think One Fork is fair.

Sims, your thoughts, your forkscore.

I'm basically starting at One Fork and I'm trying to think, like, is there anything that I, you know, can give a sort of charity halftine or something like that?

Like, JJ was nice.

The L.A.

lasagna never quite had any.

JJ was promised that every location in the new rebranded planet of Hollywood had a JJ.

Then it's like, okay, but we got lucky.

We did get lucky.

In zero ways.

It sucked.

I give it one fork and i give you one fork

i'll take it mitch your thoughts are forks griff you get one fork of course too sorry

but we're in the

five forks and the new york knicks five forks each okay wow the new york knicks do not get five forks from me you get five you get five forks uh not last night but five forks total i do want to say that we also went to the bar what was the bar called jimmy's corner Jimmy's Corner, which

I maybe made some bad calls last night.

It's all at Jimmy's Corner.

I had a good time at Jimmy's Corner.

Jimmy's Corner, here's the thing.

Legitimate dive.

I love actual dive bars.

Keep his drinks.

It seemed like a bar that stayed open through COVID is the type of bar it seems like.

Let me see a vaccine card.

Looks good.

Come on in.

Somebody's like flashing, nothing.

Was that the gentrified approximation of it?

It was an actual

dive.

It was a little bit slice of New York.

Yeah, with just, and everything was, you know, like the men's room in there was like out of a condemned middle school is great.

It was exactly like that.

It was actually the Port Authority men's room.

It's what I I want from that sort of experience.

I had a great time there.

It's a very narrow bar, and I wasn't really thinking when I was like, let's march in here with John.

Multiple giant podcasts.

There was a big guy in there who was a blank check and a Doughboys fan.

Oh, that's right.

Behind the bar or just a customer there.

There's a customer there who was a fan.

I thought he was booing me because I was wearing a Celtics hat and he was saying spoon.

That's what was going on when I was like, he said to me, my experience with this, this guy, it was lovely, real quick, was he said, I was like, I love Doughboys.

and i just it was a tight space so i just kind of touched his shoulder i was like oh man thanks man god bless you um and then the guy next to him uh goes to me uh god bless you who fucking saying god bless you like this fucking new york guy giving me shit that's a real jimmy's point

there was there was another new york problem with you now

there was a new york guy who saw my soul exact and seemed to be circling me like a shark at one point you turned it backwards i turned it backwards going in because i just like didn't even want to hear anything about it at all yeah and then and then there i turned it around and there was a guy who was like look at that and he was with his friend and he was a fucking little twerp i should have whatever it was fine

and also there was a one new york guy who i loved when we were walking in and walking sideways down the aisle crab style and crab style we were walking crab style and there was one you had crab and i did have crab and there was one guy there was one new york guy where i was like trying to get through and he and there was like another guy to stand out and he's like just fucking pull it into me dude and i and i just fuck i just and i i like i i felt more of of that man than I have anyone in a long time.

I was like rubbing up against it.

Yeah, I mean, this is what I like about Jimmy East Corner: it is authentically bad in a way that New York has started to eliminate.

And authentically bad in a way that is much more interesting than the badness of Planet Holly.

Right.

And also, like, perfect counterpoint, it is authentically bad, and beers cost $3.

Yeah, for sure.

But you're like, well, this is the handoff for the fact that the prices are still.

The entire bill there, by comparison, was $60 for two, like, for

20 drinks.

It was fantastic.

I loved that guy who said, bring it in.

I love that New Yorker.

Great guy.

Five forks.

Five forks to that guy.

You only get one for the night, but five today.

Thank you.

I hated my planet Hollywood experience.

It sucked.

It's the state of Hollywood matches.

But here's the thing that's sad to me is that no one cares.

No one cares about that.

No one's like, hey, save it.

No one,

and you know know what they do care about, sadly, that Netflix fucking Vegas one.

That is way more popular.

And this is just such a sad state of Hollywood.

And I want Hollywood to be good.

And I like the idea of a fun planet Hollywood.

If it was a thing where we're sitting at the table where it's, where, you know, it's the Riddler's outfit from Batman Forever or whatever, which one was it?

Batman Forever.

Yeah.

Like, I would, uh, I would, I would, I would love it.

I would be very happy to go to a place like that was schlocky and stupid.

In our fucking current Instagram obsessed culture for sure wouldn't that have more weight than ever with the like i can go to a fucking restaurant when i'm visiting new york city and get a bunch of photos of me next to shit especially if you're using contemporary ip yes or like what do we need to do do we guys are basically like it should be crass and bad but like in a way that makes sense exactly right what do we need the rizzler's sock or something what do we have to do to get the fuck what what what what type of thing do we need you know robert earl's son has started a restaurant called the tick tock cafe yes robert Earl's fail son is heavily involved in business.

But it's meant to be a TikTok cafe.

He's a big part of the virtual dining concepts, which is the one that does, again, just celebrity ghost kitchen.

He's still the best, you fucking idiots.

Movies are the only good thing.

Movies are

one of the only good, one of the, I mean, maybe the only good thing.

One of the only good things.

And this is the other bad thing about this.

I'm in this restaurant.

I hear Mission Impossible is just okay.

After the Tatum news, after the Celtics lose, after the food fucking poisoning, after I'm fucking have a cold sweat, Mission Impossible is just okay.

Maybe you'll love it.

You might like it.

It ends up.

I'm not going to just, I'm not going to love it.

I think it ends up.

They are so much nicer to movies.

By the time this is out, you'll have seen it.

And also, like,

them taking a big swing of the last Mission Impossible.

That's a thing to root for.

And I do root for, I root for all Mission Impossible, but you know what saves it, Wags?

What's that?

The friends around you.

Wow.

There you go.

And my friends were there, and I was having a great time.

Gabris, Ben, Anna Maria, Marika, who took five bites of food, all of you guys.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

True.

Maybe if we saw a little bit of friends' stuff, I'd be even happier.

But because of that reason, I had a great,

shut up.

Because of that, back to one fork.

Because of that reason, I had a great time.

There you go.

And that's why it gets one fork.

I also had a great time with my friends, but that is completely unrelated to the experience of Planet of Hollywood.

The The food was execrable and the actual dining experience was unremarkable to, I would just say like unpleasant.

Like it was unpleasant

to the eyes and ears.

I found it like kind of annoying how

omnipresent the video feed and the music was.

Like I didn't find any of it like transport transporting me to another place.

I just found like it was like kind of jarring and unsettling and made it harder to have a conversation with the people I want to spend time with.

Yeah, the food.

I could not say enough about how awful the food was.

This is like one of, this is one of the worst dining experiences in recent memory.

It's really fucking bad.

Was the food worse than Chuck E.

Cheese?

I'd say probably, yeah.

I think it was.

100%.

It was aiming higher too, right?

It was aiming higher.

It was aiming higher.

It has alcohol, which I guess is an advantage, but everything else about it is just like, I'd rather eat food from Chuck E.

Cheese's.

I agree.

And

I don't know.

I mean, this is, yeah, this is clearly a one-fork experience.

Do I want to go even lower?

I think I probably do.

I think this is a zero forker.

Oh, my God.

No one needs to go here.

Broken Play Club.

It's not even worth going.

It's not the Broken Play Club.

It's not even going worth once just a tick off the box of like, oh, yeah, I went to the Planet Hollywood reboot.

Don't even bother.

Here's what I'll say.

Go upstairs, get one of those margaritas from JJ and say hi to Vinny and JJ and get yourself maybe the LA lasagna or something for an app, get some sort of app, you'd be fine.

Yeah, maybe just sit in the bar and have a drink.

Maybe it's getting food.

But for to what end?

What are you getting out of the atmosphere?

I agree with you.

It sucks.

Don't bother.

Just don't even fucking go.

It sucks.

It sucks.

Griff, fuck you.

We're not getting mad at each other.

It's his fault.

That's what I'm telling you.

I love you, Griff.

I love that we went here.

I think it's really funny that we went.

All right.

We could have had a steak dinner at Keene's.

I hate to say another story, but before I knew Griffin, I once had a friend who knew Griffin, right?

Or knew a friend of yours.

And my friend was like, I have to go to Appleby's tonight.

And I was like, why?

In Harlem?

In Harlem?

Like, we live in Brooklyn.

And she was like, I don't know.

My friend is friends with some guy who wants to have his birthday at Appleby's for some reason.

I relayed that story years later, and it was you that he was talking about.

And the way Sims told me was he heard that story and he was like, I can't even picture the guy who would make his friends do this on a February weeknight.

And then when he realized it was me, he was like, you are the one who are saying that.

And that is what happened last night.

That's why we were there.

Yeah.

Look, I do, it's not a sadistic streak, but I do think it is funny to have these experiences.

Well, that does sound like sadism, but okay.

No, this is the absolutely the right call for the podcast.

I don't regret that we won.

All right, let's do a segment.

Chris, hit the music.

Okay.

Hey, iPad.

Just disc.

Frank Check with Mitchell and Weiger.

Frank Jack with Mitchell and Weiger.

Don't know what film wieners to expect.

All you need to know is that the name of the segment's Frank Check.

Okay, this is Frank Check.

Mitch Griffin and Sims are given a frame from a movie involving a food item and must guess which movie it is from.

The TV is on, so

we were immediately

seeing a preview of Crapopolis.

We were seeing a preview of Crap Opus, but I was distracted.

I couldn't think of the word distracted as soon as the TV came on.

Yeah.

But so many shows that just seem fake.

All the knives, what well, Chris, do do you mind?

Uh, do you mind?

Don't we can't, we can't do this, we can't talk about what's on the TV.

It's a movie segment.

All right, all right, all right.

Okay, all right, first up, can we?

This is Jaws, let's let's dismiss this uh software episode.

That's what I was trying to say, Wags.

Yeah, uh, yeah, that's Jaws.

It's Jaws, Robert Shaw, yeah, uh, yes, this is a, this course from Jaws.

Oh, and I meant to say, uh, for a bonus point, uh, you can buzz in with your name and then give a

themecamp.

Okay, yes, and and but, but like, this goes back to the Jaws one.

Mitch gets a point for Minecraft.

Okay.

But you can also give a quote from the movie that is food-based.

Chicken jockey.

Pretty good.

Yeah, I'll give you an extra point.

Yeah.

Pretty good.

Well earned.

Well earned.

Really good.

Really good.

Really good.

Wow.

All right.

Next one.

Wait, wait.

With Jaws, do we all get a point for Jaws?

Yeah, everyone gets a point for Jaws.

Hold on.

Just give me a fucking second here.

Well, okay.

David.

David.

Hold on.

Hold on.

I was too late, but I know it.

This is going great.

Hold on.

Everyone wait.

Okay, hold on.

David has one.

Griffin has one.

Jesus Christ.

Rick has two.

Can one of us say a food quote from Jaws?

Yes, that's what I was going to say: is that if you want to say a food quote from Jaws, that you have that opportunity.

We can start.

Everyone has the opportunity to do a food quote from Jaws.

Okay.

So should we start?

Yeah.

Well, I'm pointing at Griffin.

Okay, I'll start.

I'll catch that fish for you.

Pretty good.

Fuck.

I don't have any food quotes from Jaws.

I was going to say, like, we're going to need a bigger sandwich.

Oh, I can do this makeup quote.

We can make up.

We're going to need a bigger sandwich.

Hell yeah.

Sims gets a point.

Point of the bank there.

All right, come my turn.

Yeah.

We're going to need a bigger pizza.

Oh,

okay.

Wait, can I change mine?

Yeah.

Danta.

Danta.

Danton.

Dumplings.

All right.

Next one is up.

There's a black and white sandwich.

David,

I think you lost lost the point.

I don't think that's a good point.

I heard Sims.

Eraser Head.

This is from Eraser Header.

I knew that as well.

But yeah, I'm not sure I know a food quote from Eraserhead.

In heaven, everything is food.

I was going to say, in heaven, everything

is fried.

Griffin gets a point.

Next up.

Hmm.

This is a pretty black frame.

We have an American flag.

Oh, wait, I don't know.

American flag cake.

David.

I thought I didn't know.

Is this from the Deer Hunter?

It is not from The Deer Hunter.

What is this?

This is a more recent film.

Okay.

I was going to say Mitch, and I was going to say Phantom Thread, but I.

It's not Phantom Thread.

Is this from Lee Daniels the Butler?

No, this is not from Lee Daniels the Butler, though.

You're close in terms of it being a presidential movie.

This is from 2024's The Apprentice, Mitch,

which I loved.

Yeah.

Right.

All right, next up.

None of us can do a food quote on that one.

Yeah, let's just say someone has to get a right to do a food quote.

Okay.

Fine.

Okay.

Next up.

Huh.

Mitch.

We have a charred pizza.

Yeah, very charred.

I heard Mitch.

No, it's not what I thought it was.

It looks like a Nightmare on Elm Street movie.

Do you want to just take a guess?

Nightmare on Elm Street 5?

Not 4.

Four.

David.

Fuck.

Sims?

3.

Nightmare on Elm Street 3?

Not 3.

Nightmare on Elm Street 4.

Mitch.

I'll let Griffin guess.

Nightmare on Elm Street 6?

It's not 6.

Mitch gets a point.

It is Nightmare on Elm Street 4.

Okay, that's Dream Child?

The Dream Master.

Dream Child is 5.

5.

Okay.

Can I do one?

Yeah.

Because it's a pizza?

The slice is right, bitch.

There you go.

Give yourself a point.

Okay, I get a point.

Next up, another horror movie.

Close-up of a place setting.

Okay, I see.

These are tricky.

These are tricky.

I know everyone knows this movie.

Everyone knows this movie.

Yeah.

It was pretty good that I got that Nightmare on Elm Street, even though I said five.

I thought it was good.

Yeah, yeah, good job.

No,

this is released the same year as Nightmare on Elm Street 4, The Dream Master, but received very different.

This is much more of a prestigey horror.

Ooh, prestige horror.

Okay, late 80s.

Yeah.

Late 80s.

This is an adaptation

of a famous author's work.

It's a late 80s movie or an early 90s movie?

The The year I have here in front of me is 1988.

Okay.

Give me a hint.

Oscar winning performance.

Horror.

Oscar winning performance.

Oscar winning performance.

I'm realizing that.

Griffin.

Yeah.

Is it misery?

It is misery.

That's it.

But I just looked it up on IMDb.

Amelia had the date wrong.

I think Amelia might have put the book in it.

It's 1990.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We love you, Amelia.

We love you, Amelia.

Next up.

Misery food quote.

I love your food work.

He didn't get out the cockadooty pizza.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah.

Do you feel that way?

I do feel like Kathy Bates in misery, like upset about cussing when I listen to the new Zach Lowe podcast and they're cussing up a storm.

I agree.

I don't like Zach Cusson.

I don't need Zach Cusson.

What are we doing?

I don't know if we've established that we say fucking shit.

We can say fucking shit and come on, dough, boys.

I just don't want to be here.

If Zach Lowe said come, my phone would catch on fire.

I don't need him saying come.

All right, last one.

Okay.

Love you, Zach Low.

He's the best.

He's the best.

Okay, so we got a big diner.

We got a diner here.

See, pancakes, our OJ.

This isn't diner, though.

Good.

Good.

I wasn't going to guess that.

My God.

This was a career-launching movie for a couple of

well-known actors.

Oh, for a couple of actors.

Diner?

They sound like Diner.

And a director.

Griffin.

True, Diner.

Is this Road Trip?

It's not Road Trip.

I thought it was the friendly toast.

Breakcast.

The date, let me double-check it.

The date I have in front of me is 1996.

Is it Swingers?

It is Swingers.

Wow.

Very smart.

There you go.

Wow.

I should have gotten that.

That's on me.

Yeah.

You're so pizza, baby, you don't even know it.

Wow.

And with that,

David Wims is our winner.

Wims wins.

With that.

Wow.

Just like a restaurant feedback.

You're so pizza.

You don't even know it.

Let's open up the feedback.

Today's email.

Didn't you have something to share, too?

Weren't you going to show us stuff?

I was going to show Planet Hollywood stuff.

I don't know if we've just moved on.

We have moved on, but if we want to get to it, we can.

I might save it for the very end of the episode.

Okay.

Yeah.

They've got to go.

Today's email is from...

I know I need to go as well.

It's from Tom Sitch.

With them.

Oh, right.

That's right.

You're going with them.

You're fucking maniacs.

Today's email is from Tom Sitch, pronounced Sitch.

What is Madison, Wisconsin?

Sitch right.

What regional fast food chains that you don't have in LA are you most jealous of?

Hopefully phrasing my question this way avoids Mitch immediately locking in Regina since he gets to have it for three months every year during a sabbatical.

I'm blessed to live in Culver's land, but frequently pine for Whataburger and Wiener Schnitzel.

Wienerschnitzel, I would say, unfortunately is on its last legs.

Mitch, more and more of those A-framed Wienerschnitzel buildings are vacant.

They are closed.

That company, I think, is near death.

And it's a bummer because they're bad hot dogs, but they're Wiener Schnitzel hot dogs.

And sometimes you're craving exceptions.

There's nothing like it.

You know what's funny is a producer, Ben.

I got to give him a shout out.

Greek guy.

He was wearing a Friendlies hat today.

I was like, man, it would be great to have a Friendlies on the West Coast.

But you know what?

I'm going to butcher the pronunciation.

But Wags, when we were mapping stuff out last night, I pressed on a restaurant name.

Do you remember what?

I wonder if it's going to be what I was going to say, but go on.

I think you know what it is.

Say what you're going to say.

Xian Famous Foods?

That's correct, Wax.

Zion Famous Food is the one that was like, great, New York.

I was thinking of New York-specific chains for this question.

And that is one that it's just like, again, you know, there is great Chinese food in LA, but it would be nice if it was like, hey, there's just

periodically in a strip mall, you'll find Xian Famous Foods that might be near where you live.

You know, that'd be great.

Have that nearby.

Place is really fucking good.

How about you guys?

Reverse question.

I think Hanford gave it two forks because it's not in the platinum.

I mean, I'm like, fuck.

Fucking Hanford.

Hamford gave John Famous dudes two forks.

He didn't like that.

Hanford may like food less than Griff.

Hanford does not like Hanford.

Is like a food is sustenance.

Yeah.

He's a hayseed.

He's a fool.

I don't think food is sustenance.

I think it's entertainment.

Right.

Hanford just needs like, right, energy.

Griffin wants a song and dance with every chicken nugget.

Yes.

Yes.

Right.

No, in and outs, the obvious answer that comes to mind.

It's also not a New York LA flip, but I got to say, I recently have come more and more onto your side of Nando's being one of the Nando's.

I've never had Nando's.

So Nando's is my favorite fast food chain.

It's the one I've always wanted to do with you boys the most, and I would go to DC and do it with you someday or whatever, but like I have these babies.

We had the opportunity to do Nando's and instead we're doing some dog shit.

Good.

No, I was like, first off, Sims wants to do Nando.

We're going to save it for Sims.

But like, also, we would have to do it at the DC live show.

There's nothing about that says DC.

Sure.

Yeah, it's true.

It's just kind of like that there weirdly are some in DC.

Yes, right.

It's not really the only place in the States.

No, Chicago has Nando.

Oh, weird.

And then Toronto has Nando's.

Okay.

Can I also sadly say my mom called me.

I told Wax this, and she asked me to not talk about masturbating in the Boston show.

I've never heard her say the word masturbating before, but she's like, please don't talk about masturbating in the Boston live show.

So this is another thing that's going on during this.

I cannot talk about.

But now you're definitely going to, right?

Because there's no way I can't talk about it.

It isn't.

It's incepted into my head.

Yeah, he's gonna make fun of my hog or something.

It's gonna happen.

I mean, it's already happened at this point.

Wager, just hold up a picture of a shower.

Did you say you can't talk about it or you can't do it?

I can't talk about it.

I did it.

I did.

I did a radio interview in Boston.

I think I brought up masturbating and she was listening.

So I think that didn't help.

From elsewhere in the, like, the North America, the one continent I've spent time on, I would also say ANW Canada.

I love Culver's.

Culver's, Culver's already mentioned, but if ANW Canada is so good and if AW America was as good as AW Canada and there were AWs like right in LA, that would be great.

I'd love it.

Great answer.

Comment ping pong too is the other one.

If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-Godo.

That's 830-463-6844.

Our producer is Emma Erdbrink.

Our associate producers, Amelia Marino, our supervising video producer is Casey Donahue.

Our video editor is Mike Dorfman.

A special thanks to guest engineer Chris for helping us out today.

Appreciate it so much, Chris.

Sorry that you had to listen to us.

Yeah, sorry.

Most

fucking bad.

Doughboys apparel merchandise.

You can get that at kinshipgoods.com slash Doughboys.

And the Doughboys double our weekly bonus episode, plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog is at patreon.com.

Including our 10-year merch now.

I think it's available.

Wow.

Griff, we have to let Griff show the thing before we go.

Yeah, let's do that.

So I don't even know if you want to show this to your listeners, but this is one of the only reasons I gave this one star.

Okay, great.

Is because the last time I went there, it was, or the first time I went went rather, it was so inedible that I have to give them one fork rather for improvement.

For improvement, this might be the single nastiest-looking food item I have ever had in my life, and my standards are low as hell.

And you went, were you with anyone or were you alone?

I went on Valentine's Day with my girlfriend.

Oh, my God.

How did she bless her?

She's a classy lady.

Oh, my God.

What the fuck is this?

They had a $20 prefix Valentine's Day meal.

It says a lot about why she's dating me, that she thought it would be funny to go.

Yeah, I mean, God bless her.

They serve salad without dressing, and this was the piece of meat I had.

This is like a prime red, right?

That's what they called it.

This looks really non-down at the bottom there.

It's this sort of like vegetable assortment.

Yeah, and then there's kind of something you jam zoom in here.

Right.

Yeah.

Some edible tinsel.

Really strange garnish with like edible flour.

I like that marbling on the top, though.

Can you just zoom in on the top there?

Look at that nice.

Look at that nice grape marbling.

That thing definitely looks like a statue of David.

That's one of those things where, like, if you see this

zoom in.

I mean,

it looks like a really cheap slab, and also it doesn't look properly cooked.

Their commitment to undercooking is impressive.

Yeah.

Hey, look, it's fine.

I'll do a rare prime rib.

But

it's good meat.

This is the thing.

This just looks like this speaks to all the corner cutting that this place is doing.

This also looks like it speaks because it's still alive.

When we were walking out of the restaurant, they handed my lovely girlfriend, Sarah, a single rose

unwrapped and said, happy Valentine's Day.

And she grabbed it immediately and went, oh, there are thorns.

There it is.

And I went, that's a pretty fucking good metaphor.

What other pictures we got here?

I think I just took a picture of the prefix Valentine's Day menu itself and the check possibly.

Oh, right,

were very expensive.

Oh, you got the blood orange margaritas then, too?

But technically, it was $30 a person for the food.

Wow.

For a three course meal thirty dollars thirty dollars thirty dollars what else is there how is the cheesecake brulee

okay okay i'll say this the other two items were not edible oh good the the appetizer and the entree the dessert was and after this you took us there after this i went one more time and then said i really think i'm gonna make the case for why we should do an episode so mad at you all right we gotta go yeah uh griffin newman davidson for hollywood blank check with griffin and david uh people People should check out the podcast.

Well, feel free to plug away.

You're like this shit.

Yeah.

Sorry.

You guys are great, but you're like our shit.

Let's spoil it.

We're right now, I don't know when this episode's coming out, but we're probably coming out on the end of May.

Okay.

And the Cohen Brothers.

Yeah.

We're finished on Amy Heckerlin, moving on to the Cohen Brothers.

And you guys just yesterday recorded a Hudsucker episode with us.

Had a great time.

It was a lovely time.

It's been good.

It's been lovely.

It's very short.

It's been so fun to spend time with you.

You guys.

It's really awesome.

I don't get to see you guys.

IRL.

It's really cool.

We had a blast.

It was a lot of fun.

Last night sucked in some ways, but it was great.

I do feel like I've gained the Dough Boys 15 in the last 48 hours.

Like not sleeping well.

It's good to know that

when we end up with COVID on this trip, it's good to know that we got it in New York at the bar you took us to.

So thank you for that, Griffin.

Or it might have been Planet Hollywood's world famous COVID crunch.

It might have been that as well.

Yeah.

All right.

That'll do it for this episode of Doughboys.

Until next time for the Spoonman Mike Mitchell, I'm Tiger Wager.

Happy Eating.

We got to catch a train.

See ya.

Hi, this is Griffin Noom and Downtown Griffey Nooms in the present, as opposed to the past that you're listening to right now, our recording from two weeks ago.

I made a big mistake

in the moment.

I was so hyper-focused on trying to deliver the shortest Doughboys episode ever that I forgot to take this important opportunity to plug that Blank Check has an upcoming live show.

in New York City at the historic The Town Hall venue on Broadway.

It's a a tribute to King Ralph, the largely forgotten John Goodman Becomes King of England vehicle that is our producer Ben Hosley's one of his most cherished movies ever and an episode we've been threatening to do for a decade.

So we want people to come out.

Weirdly, the promise of talking about King Ralph has not led to an instant sellout.

So I'm just trying to remind people that tickets are still available and you can can go to bit.ly

slash blank check 25 to buy tickets for that now it's june 6th at 8 p.m i have no idea why it's 25 in the url but that's uh what it is

um and just to make this topical king ralph had a big cross promotion with burger king which we'll be talking about extensively during the live show bye What's up, everybody?

I'm Kyle Mooney.

And what's up, everybody?

I'm back by.

And man, ooh, we got something to tell you.

Oh, yeah, we definitely do.

Yes, it's a brand new podcast on Headgum.

That's right, and it's called What's Our Podcast.

Yep, and that's because we don't have a single idea what our podcast should be about.

Yeah, we don't.

So, we actually have guests come on and they tell us what they think our podcast should be about, and then we try it.

Yep, guests like Mark Maron, Jack Black, Brittany Broski, Cape Berland, Bobby Moynihan, Make Stalter, and Tim Ball, Landon Axler, Joey, Joni McGrees,

and Dender.

And Dender.

New episodes release every Wednesday.

So subscribe to What's Our Podcast on YouTube or any of your favorite podcast platforms.

Yeah.

I'm going to go do it right now.

That was a head gun podcast.