Popeyes 6 with Tim Baltz

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On February 26th, 2025, Santa Fe authorities announced the discoveries of the bodies of actor Gene Hackman and his wife, pianist Betsy Arakawa.

The horrific news, ready-made for true crime obsessives with grisly terms like mummification, shocked the American public, and among the reactions included a wave of tributes for Hackman, a beloved character star turned reckless in retirement.

With roles in hit films like The Conversation, Hoosiers, Crimson Tide, and The Royal Tannenbaums, as well as a turn as Lex Luther in the Christopher Reeves Superman franchise, and an Oscar win as the villainous Sheriff Little Bill Daggett in Clint Eastwood's anti-Western Unforgiven, Hackman's presence elevated each of his movies.

But his signature performance was in in the 1971 William Friedkin film The French Connection, where among its five Oscar wins was a best actor statue for Hackman as Detective Jimmy Popeye Doyle.

Both a critical and commercial smash, the character of Popeye Doyle was so well known in pop culture that when Al Copeland opened his fried chicken chain down into Bayou in 1972, he named it for Hackman's hard-boiled cop.

Over the next five decades, as Popeye Doyle receded in the collective consciousness, the breaded bird broker expanded globally, buoyed by the introduction of a Chick-fil-A killer sandwich in 2019.

In April 2025, just weeks after Morgan Freeman offered a touching tribute to Hackman at the Academy Awards, the fried chicken chain named for his character launched a pickle menu featuring pickle-glazed wings, tendies, and sandos, as well as fried pickles and lemonade.

And speaking of food, Hackman's only on-camera credit since his final film role, 2004's Welcome to Mooseport, was a surprise cameo on an episode of Guy Fieri's Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives when he just happened to be dining at a Santa Fe restaurant, Harry's Roadhouse, while cameras were rolling.

While enjoying breakfast at the counter, a happily retired Hackman told Fieri his favorite feature of the eatery:

Nobody pays me attention, you know.

It's great.

Rest in power, Popeye Doyle.

This week on Doughboys, we return once again to Popeyes for the Popeyes Pickle menu.

Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host,

Dijon Wayne Gacy.

The Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell.

Dijon Wayne Gacy.

Off of John.

John Wayne Gacy.

Dijon Wayne Gacy.

John Wayne Gacy.

I should have lay the Dijon Wayne Face.

The French clown

Wayne Gacy.

Been a big fan for years.

Saw you live in Chicago a couple of years ago.

And it was a blast.

Thank you for the endless hours of entertainment.

Spencer Roast at birdfuck.com.

I was clowning last night, and there is a big difference between French clowns and American clowns, right, Amelia?

Or you're not American?

Amelia is not a lot of them.

That is correct.

Yeah.

Wait, you were clowning last night?

You just said that so casually.

Yeah, I was clowning last night.

I did a clowning show last night.

It's the truth.

I mean,

what was the show?

Stand up and clown.

Yeah.

Okay, stand up and clown.

But you say you were clowning.

What does that mean exactly?

Is it like an improv show, but you're doing like, you know, you're not being verbal?

What are you doing exactly?

You take it from here, Amelia.

Explain this.

I guess nonsense to me.

I don't even know how to describe clowning still.

But Chad Damiani, one of the LA clowns, was a very funny guy.

We got to have him on the show at some point.

He's a great guy.

We got to.

Yeah,

he throws clowning shows.

It's kind of improv.

It's improv-y.

It's basically looking as foolish as possible on stage,

failing in front of audiences, being dumb.

Mitch didn't have to do anything.

Yeah, that's what I was going to say.

Oh, Rana, how do you set this up?

Sounds like a Dough Boys podcast.

But what makes it specifically clowning as opposed to improv?

Like, are you doing more like, woo, like that kind of shit?

Like, what's going on?

There is a little sound and movement stuff.

Okay, so that's it.

It's like no talking stuff.

It's like very, there's some physicality of it.

Not all of it is.

So

they'll give you a, what's it called?

Like a little.

Suggestion?

Prompt.

A prompt.

Okay.

A prompt.

Not a suggestion.

A prompt.

All right.

And it'll be like, the soup's down, you know, instead of soup's up.

Soup's down.

Okay.

So then what the fuck are you going to do with that?

There you go.

That's how, you you know

you know you do you do that sort of thing

except if you're not supposed to make any noises

i i think you can go like

i think you can do that you're not supposed to talk but then does that turn into an improv scene where you're where the with dialogue uh no there's no dialogue the whole show there's no dialogue there i mean like he talks to you Okay, he like kind of directs you, right?

Like he'll be like,

do it bigger or do it less or hey, you know what?

Whatever.

You know who'd be great at it?

Yeah.

Your dad.

Clown ass dad.

How dare you?

I think clown-ass dad.

Mitch, I have my own.

We text all the time.

Dad's a lovely man.

He's a great man.

I have a, Mitch, I have my own business that I wanted to get to before we introduce our guests.

Earlier this year,

I was I was dealing with this actually in the last part of last year, I was dealing with jaw pain that was like quite debilitating and was like made it really hard for me to eat and to talk, which are

the core elements of this show.

Your job during an episode popped.

Yeah, I would pop.

I mean, it still pops sometimes, but it's less of a job.

Very snake-like.

You'd have an apple and it would pop open and you would just kind of swallow the apple hole.

I can naturally kind of unhinge my jaw.

I mean, it's a, anyway, so we had a

Snoopy Blatt in our Discord server, the dose guard, recommended me looking out for an orofacial pain specialist.

I found one who I talked about earlier this year, Dr.

Rich Hirschinger, who helped me out a lot.

Things are a lot better pain-wise.

Popping is a lot better.

He also had invented a jaw-stretching device called the gentle jaw, which I brought into the studio.

And then I demonstrated for you and you tried it out.

Yeah, you gave me the smaller one.

That's right.

The wages is in the one percentile.

I'm in the top 1% of mouth sizes I've learned.

You're in the top 1% of a lot of things.

Anyway.

He emailed me this past weekend, Dr.

Herschinger, and said the following.

Nick, an oral facial pain resident in Minnesota informed me you talked about about the gentle jaw on your podcast.

It was fun to watch, especially since your colleague, meaning you, used the gentle jaw backward.

He put the large end in first and he sent along this picture attached.

A doctor sent this photo?

All right, you know what?

You're right, Amelia.

This is, I am a fucking clown idiot.

Sucks.

Sucks that that's the truth.

Yeah.

It's a good pick.

I'm tired as hell today, Wags.

Chankton is coming.

Chankton's on the way here.

I love it.

Am I going to go see him?

Chankton and Angelica, his lovely wife.

And maybe, yes.

I'm going to come out of the studio.

Okay.

He's leaving Thursday and my goddaughter, Emmy.

Wow.

So we're going to see.

Because he won his goddaughter adocs on the podcast.

We'll bleep it out.

Yeah, yeah.

But we can bleep it out.

It's fine.

But they're staying at my house.

So

I clowned last night.

I got home.

And then I had a radio interview

on 985 in Boston this week.

Very cool.

Yeah.

Toucher and Hardy.

Wow.

It was, it was great.

It was fun.

They were like, what is your show about?

And he's like, do you like doing the show in Boston?

That's what that's me.

I was like, no, it sucks.

Like, the Boston people will be like, you weren't funny.

Like, all my friends will be like, harder on the show.

Yeah, sure.

And then I was like, and also like I'll like talk about masturbating and then look in the crowd and see my mom straight faced in the audience.

And

when I was done, my mom called and she was like, that was a good interview.

And it was this awkward thing where I was like, oh, I shouldn't have said the thing about masturbating and you being straight faced.

Like, it's all I could think about.

And it's truly the only time I've ever had an awkward thing from this show with my mom where I was like thinking about, you know, it was in it.

It sucked, but it was great.

Adolpho

is one of the guys who calls him that show and he hooked us up.

And he's going to come on our show.

He's coming on our show.

Oh, how about that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was fun.

Okay.

So we booked two guests so far based off of shows you've recently done.

Look, yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you know what?

We're going to book a lot more.

I'm going to meet people and I have, I'm going to tell them, come on the podcast.

And you know what?

Today, we're lucky.

We're lucky we met this guy.

100%.

Yeah.

One of the one of the podcast greats.

Mitch, you have a drop to play, and then I can introduce you.

I'm going to hit him with a drop.

Landman.

Landman.

I I am Landman.

It does seem like a later Mega Man kind of

guy.

I've come to kill you with my land.

It would be cool, though.

I bet you the result would be that you could shoot out little platforms you can jump on.

Oh, yeah, like you make little like he creates land.

He makes little land masses.

Mitch, that is pretty great.

Thank you.

I hate hearing our podcast.

I like hate hearing snippets of it.

That track is from.

We shouldn't have to hear it, though.

It's true.

That track is from Mega Man, too.

I'm trying to place it specifically.

I think it's maybe Metal Man.

Maybe the email will say.

All right.

Let's see here.

Hey, Doughboys and Jamilia Donahue.

Here's a little drop I made with a recent discussion of the new Mega Man villain, Landman, on the episode with Matt Singer.

Hope you enjoy.

Nope.

It does not.

Best Joe.

I shouldn't say his last name, should I?

He wrote it.

I don't know if he wrote it out.

He probably can.

Best Joe Bastion.

Thanks, Joe.

Docs and everybody today.

Drops at birdfuck.com.

I'm sorry that there's no, there's no, look, I got to say this.

Yeah.

I realized last night.

a thing about Mission Impossible, which we are we when this episode comes out is Mission Impossible is Mission Impotable done we should be in the thick of Mation Impotable

I realized that Kittridge sounds a lot like the Matrix Mr.

Anderson.

He sounds like that guy from, he sounds like Hugo Weaving.

Oh, yeah.

The actors have similar deliveries.

I guess, yeah, yeah.

It just popped in my head.

So I was just thinking of that.

And also, we recorded an episode yesterday

with Lily Sullivan, and she was wearing...

A very familiar shirt.

Wow, Mitch.

What a segue.

From the Righteous Gemstones and Deliboys and CBB World joining us today.

Returning to the studio, Tim Baltz.

Hi, Tim.

Thanks so much for being here.

Hey, thanks for having me.

So, a Gatorade shirt.

Yes, we'll get right to it.

You're wearing a Gatorade shirt.

Yes.

We recorded an episode with your lovely wife, Lily Sullivan, also wearing the same shirt.

That episode is coming out in the future over on our Patreon feed.

Yes.

She stole the shirt from me

at my most vulnerable moment.

Were you shirtless the whole day?

Yeah, I got rid of all my shirts.

I only own this one.

Lots riding on my ability to wear this shirt.

Couldn't leave the house.

No, but I was, I mean, full disclosure, I was, I was taking a shit.

Okay.

And Lily was leaving the house.

And so I hear through the bathroom door, she's like, can I borrow one of your shirts?

I'm like, what?

And she always wants to borrow like the highly sentimental ones or like the, like my favorite stuff.

Yeah.

And I'm like, what?

Why are you asking me this now?

You know, she's like, I have to leave.

I have to leave.

I have to leave right now.

And I'm like, which shirt?

She's like, the Gatorade one i'm like i was gonna wear that tomorrow on the podcast

and so so i'm sitting there i'm like

like i can't get up i can't go like face-to-face right reason with my wife sure so by the way you oh no i was just about to ask this question i know the answer i was gonna say do you have a bidet and you do not have a bidet you used to have a bidet we used to have a bidet and you're and you're and yeah you're uh you're yeah that would have really sped up the process

myself walk it, I'll Donald duck it out,

no pants on, and then we could talk about this.

And so finally, I'm like, okay, fine, just wear like, please don't get any makeup on the collar or something like that.

You know, I don't know why.

It's a white collar, so I guess I was, that's what I think that makes sense.

Yes, then when she got home, I was like, oh, how'd it go?

You know, I'm glad you wore it.

Ha ha ha.

No, I think I'm going to wear it tomorrow anyway.

That'll be fun.

You know, oh, how cute, you know.

But then we had to put a shirt over her head to take this off so that she didn't get any makeup on the collar.

Which I was like, Can we put a bag over your head?

Like, no,

women know how to do this.

You just put a t-shirt over your head.

And so that was funny.

I learned something new from it all.

I didn't know that trick.

You must know that trick back there.

Yeah, like sometimes if you're doing makeup stuff, I'll wear something like a hoodie or something so you don't even have to pull it up over your head.

You can just wear a button up as a common one, so you just take it off like a jacket.

You're set.

Oh, wow.

How about that?

But yeah, if you just, it's kind of like putting a bag over your head, though, you cover your face and everything.

So

you have your neighbor just looking in, seeing you put a bag over your wife's head.

That's my thing.

I just put a bag over your head.

It's true.

I did the Hey Randy show,

live show, and I had a bag put over my head as they thought I was, which we talked about.

Probably ought to get a lawn bag.

How'd you fit over that now again?

It was not a lawn bag.

A lawn bag that goes like down to your waist.

Your arms are like popping up here.

Sadly, I feel like I would fit pretty well.

If I just punched my arms through a lawn bag it would i would fit me pretty well

be your new look that should have been what i did to school every day just put a fucking push my head through a lawn bag and put my arms through um

i uh lawn bag man

mega man needs to be rebooted in a different

they've done the 2d i mean i guess is it just only ever going to be in 2d i don't want to get too deep into the mega man canon here unless our guest has an interest in her you might love mega man oh you do love mega man okay let's get into it beating mega man 2 is one of the proudest achievements of my life oh my my God.

I love Mega Man 2 so much.

I also beat Mega Man 2.

I was about to say I didn't, but I did beat.

That is the only Mega Man I think I beat.

I felt like it was the hardest.

I had Mega Man 4 and maybe Mega Man 10, and I would play other ones.

Yeah, Mega Man or Mega Man 10 was like the more recent one.

That's the one with the Robo Daw.

Right?

That's the Super Nintendo 10.

Yeah, so Mega Man X was the Super Nintendo franchise, and they made a few of them.

And then Mega Man 10 they made more recently, and it had like the throwback, like 8-bit Famicom NES aesthetic.

So you were at Mega Man X.

No, 2.

2 is the one that I played the most.

Two is awesome.

I love two.

That's my favorite.

Yeah, I do think Metal Man was the

music.

I was like, I was like, I was like, doing that.

Oh, wow.

I hope we're right.

Because that's the one that I went to first every time I played the game, so it stuck in my mind.

Oh, right.

Yeah, I'm trying to remember the order.

I think you go to...

Because it's, you want to go to Flash Man.

I think you go to Crash Man last.

That's what I remember it the most.

I think it's Flash Man, Quick Man,

Metal Man,

Woodman.

Then you go to Airman, is it?

We don't have to follow your rules of which robot to face first.

There is an optimized version.

There is an optimized way to do it, though.

But Metal Man also gives you a good gun.

That's the other thing, is that you do.

Yeah, Metal Man gives you

the Sawblade.

Yeah.

And then you go to wait, oh, there's Heatman.

I forget where Heatman goes.

Heatman might go before Woodman.

There are some that you can't beat without a specific weapon.

Right, because you use the weapon that you get from the Robot Master that becomes your ability, and then you can use that to defeat other Robot Masters sometimes very easily.

Sometimes it becomes a trivial thing.

Unproduced Mega Man script written by Jeff Dutton.

Remember, he wrote that movie?

Great script.

I do remember.

We wrote a Mega Man movie at one point.

He did, and it didn't get made?

It did not get made.

It's in the junk pile.

Who would you cast as Mega Man?

Jim Cabiesel?

Weasel's pretty good.

I mean, like, I feel like, you know, the unimaginative casting.

Cabiesel's tough to top already.

Beasel's pretty good.

I think the unimaginative casting for like a boyish type, who I'm a fan of his, I think he's good, but we see Chalamet and everything.

We're kind of at a Chalamay's saturation point.

So, like, who's the other Chalamet?

Who's the other youthful looking?

Jacob Alorty.

Jacob Alordi is pretty good.

Jacob Alorty is not bad.

He brings like a like Chalamay brings this, like, kind of, you know, mischievous, playful, you know, I'm in my room reading.

Right.

Don't worry about me.

And Alorty plays just like a guy who shows up who's no shade, no shade.

But like, there's a power to his presence, which is just kind of like, huh?

Yeah.

What?

Babe.

Like, that's powerful.

It kind of is like what Mega Man is, which is like Dr.

Light invented him, and he's kind of a, you know,

a cipher.

You know,

Haley Joel, our, our, our, oh, yeah, Haley Joel.

I was saying when he was younger, like, I think that you need a, uh, a young, kind of youthful, innocence kind of thing.

You didn't think you didn't cast a straight-up boy.

That's a way to, that's a way to go.

I don't want to see, I don't want to see boys in the,

no Stranger Things kids.

They're axed.

No, I don't want to see a Stranger Thing kid in the movie.

No, you don't want to see the one that had that prank show?

I do.

I want to watch that that prank show.

But

I don't love the Spider-Man guy, but I do think it is that sort of vibe.

I don't dislike the Spider-Man guy.

Tom Holland?

Tom Holland.

I just think he's in so much stuff.

Mega Man sipping on a Bureau.

Have you done Bureau on the show yet?

We have not done that.

We've done Bureau.

Hey, Bureau's pretty good.

Is it really?

If someone's listening and wants to send me a couple cases of Bureau.

I've had them all.

They're good.

I got to be honest.

What is Bureau?

It's a non-alcoholic beer.

But there's like an IPA, a WI, and a lager.

Oh, I'm into it.

Yeah.

If you're big on non-alcoholic.

I would do a lot of the athletic

brewing these days, but that's also like the one that's like very easy to find in a market.

They had athletic brewing at fucking Costco last time I went there.

Bureau's, I mean,

I have a feeling that like the U.S.

market's going to go pretty hard on it.

Oh, I love it.

Because it has a lot of options.

I spent too much time looking through the Mega Man

Wikipedia.

Mega Man 11 is the most recent in 2018.

Before that, not a proper entry since Mega Man 10 in 2010.

So the franchise has really, the mainline franchise has really fallen off.

I don't know what the, what the move is.

I don't know if they just make 12.

I mean, 11 was pretty recent.

They did a 3D Mega Man at some point.

They did do that.

Those are the Mega Man Legends games back on the PlayStation era.

Yeah, they had like the, I think they had three of them, three Mega Man Legends, maybe just two.

And then they had the Misadventures of Tron Bond, which was like a kind of a spin-off game.

I think the way you do a Mega Man 3D game is I think you do it like Metroid Prime.

I think it's going to be like an action.

Oh, you think first person?

Yeah.

I want to see my little guy.

I want to see the blue bomber.

Oh, shit.

You're right.

Because that's the problem with the RoboCop game is like the RoboCop game is first person.

Some people are saying, like, hey, this is actually one of the better games of last year, sneakily.

You wouldn't think of it with an IP, with a license game, but I want to see fucking RoboCop.

And I understand why they do it because then you don't have to animate the player character and that's so labor-intensive.

You just see it from their first person perspective, but I don't want to be in RoboCop's HUD.

Like, I want to see RoboCop walking around.

Yeah.

That's part of what's fun about it.

I want to see, yeah, I want to see what I want to see RoboCop walking around.

I agree with you here, Wax.

Are you still a gamer or no?

I like retro games.

Yeah, sure.

So, like, if I'm playing on Switch, yeah,

it's kind of corny, but I like sports games.

I like racing games.

Sure.

Nothing wrong with that.

But I go back to, I have a Delta simulator on my phone.

Oh, wow.

That's dangerous.

Delta simulator.

Yeah, do you not have that?

No, is it?

You can get almost any game on a Delta simulator, and it takes up very little space on your phone.

So if I'm traveling or something, I'll play Dr.

Mario.

I'll play

like, I have a bunch of Super Nintendo NES games.

Can I quickly tell you what I thought it was?

I thought it was like a Delta flight simulator where you're like

the guy like goes and sits in a Delta seat and then it's just on the plane, I guess.

I thought that that's what it was.

It's first person just like going through the airport process.

And I'm on a plane and I'm going through TSA security on the phone.

I'm like, oh, nice.

Oh, shit, I picked the wrong line.

I weirdly could see a game where you just sit on a commercial flight and you don't have to actually pilot it as being kind of soothing.

Like, cause it's just like I'm, I have the feeling of like, I got nothing to do.

I'm just kind of captive, but without actually being captive, which gives me claustrophobia in real life.

It would be fun to like tap the button to like nudge the person who's like laying on you.

And you know what I'm saying?

Oh, sure.

Like the middle seat, like, that's fun.

It's like fat guy in the middle seat and your health goes down or something.

You know what I'm saying?

I mean, I'm trying to think of it.

I'm trying to gamify it.

I don't know how to.

Your friendship goes up.

Your friendship goes up.

How do you respond?

You know, it's like, hey, you've got a soft shoulder.

Get the fuck away from me, dude.

I've been the big guy taking a middle seat, and I've seen people not be thrilled, but they slim this.

Look,

we're about to travel.

We're about to travel as of this recording.

It gets worse every fucking year.

There's just like everything that used to be taken as a given is now there's a paid up charge for.

It's just horror.

It's just the erosion of absolutely everything.

And it's just, I'm, it's, it's a bummer.

And then, especially if you're, you're a larger man.

Sure.

Um, and I'm not the biggest guy, but you know, I'm like 6'1.

I like 6'1.

If you're sitting next to me on the airplane, I'm like, fuck, I would not be happy with you.

Oh, yeah.

Your shoulder rubs up against it.

I'm choosing the option that says, like, sir, you're a unit.

start sucking you off.

My God.

Unlocked blowjob.

Friendship meters through the roof.

Hey.

What is this game about?

Is there a biohaig part of this game?

Like, you go to the bathroom with him or get this?

Oh, yeah.

I guess it happened.

Yeah, like as he's going down on you, you're like, would you like to go to the bathroom?

Only counts of winter lavatory.

What?

If I saw you getting on a plane, I guess I wouldn't worry about your size first.

I think I'd worry about a few other things before.

I used to do the buzz cut.

Plane's not making its destination.

He has no bags.

He has no bags in a flight training manual.

That's kind of what's going on.

I think the

it sucks to travel.

It's a bummer.

Mitch, I feel for you because like, you know, as a larger guy, it's like you.

I just do first class almost all the time.

but that's my that's my solver, which is thousands of dollars.

That's the tax you have to pay.

And you're, you're lucky that you have the ability to do that because some other people who are of size can't afford it.

I did it forever.

When I shot Tomorrow War and I went to, which, which, by the way, I know that you were just in Atlanta.

We should, right?

You were in.

Charleston.

Oh, Charleston.

That's where it was.

That was where Deliboy's was?

No,

that was.

No, Deliboy shot in Chicago.

Oh, shit.

Jemston's was Charleston.

We would connect through Atlanta.

So fuck, I fucked this up.

But that's okay.

Yeah, you really couldn't be more wrong there.

Every element.

He connected through Atlanta.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're right.

Fuck.

Yeah.

I'm glad you brought this up.

Atlanta airport is huge.

It sucks.

It sucks.

There's like Atlanta Hawks fan experience.

There is.

There's a Bojangles.

There is a Bojangles there, which is, which have we ever officially...

Oh, we did.

We did Bojangles when we were in Nashville.

When we were in Nashville.

And yeah, I don't feel like we got the proper experience.

But Bojangles is coming to LA.

We're talking about a fast, a

fried chicken chain today, but Bojangles, they're supposed to open five outlets within next year.

When I flew to Atlanta for Tomorrow War, they just flew, you know, they fly you first class.

So like, and they just were flying us all the time.

And then I got platinum, whatever it was.

I got like platinum medallion or whatever.

And then I was just like, I'm just going to use this forever.

And I got a Delta card.

And now I just fly, I just do first class, but it is expensive and sucks.

Sucks.

But it's also that price is better than me being like, sorry.

Like, I don't want to, that's, that sucks way worse to have to like apologize for being a big guy to some poor person who sits next to you.

Everything's a nightmare, and the only way to make yourself less miserable is to spend a considerable amount of money.

And that's just how society is structured right now.

It's, it fucking, fucking sucks.

It's horrible.

It sucks.

Anyways, we're, we're starting this episode on a high note.

No, but we were talking, you mentioned, you mentioned playing sports games.

You mentioned going to

Chicago, bouncing all over the place.

I know you're wearing a Spurs hat now, but I know you're also a fan of your Chicago Bulls.

Oh, yeah.

How do you feel?

Like, Like, how do you feel about the Bulls?

Obviously, they're out of postage at this point, but well, I mean, I'm glad that we offloaded Levine and DeRosen.

I took heat years ago on, I was on like some NBA Sirius XM podcast or, you know, show or whatever.

And I'm like, yeah, I don't think Levine's like a number one guy.

And you're like, whoa, that's so like, you can't say that.

I'm like, no, I can.

He wasn't.

I'm vindicated.

Yeah.

I love DeRosen.

It was sad to see him go, but he's old.

Vucevich, we got to get rid of.

You know, this guy, Matis Bouzelis, who grew up in like the suburbs, it's kind of fun to have him on the team.

Yeah.

He's a fun player.

As long as the last, you know, whatever few weeks of the game

of the season after that trade, they had an identity and they were running and they were beating teams that they hadn't beaten all season, that they hadn't beaten in a few years.

You're like, okay,

all that city wants is a team with an identity that plays hard.

Even if they're getting, you know, blown out every once in a while, they don't play good defense.

There was like a mid-2000s bulls team era with ben gordon and kirk heinrich oh right they had i like that i like that era hard identity yeah right yeah and they would get maybe no higher than the sixth seed but you're like it's so fun to root for them because they can play spoiler and they know it we don't have any illusions about this team but they have an identity and so you care about the identity and i like those two those two specifically quite a bit yeah yeah yeah for the last few years three four years like they just didn't have an identity yeah and we're playing for the nine or ten seed that's humiliating.

Yeah.

Chicago isn't, you, you guys need to have a good sports team.

It's, it's been far too long.

And ever, the Bears or the Bulls need to be, get good.

Yeah.

What's crazy about the Bulls, because, you know, the fandom has is still so rabid there.

And I learned this recently that they have led the NBA in attendance the past four seasons.

Wow.

Like they're still just like

despite that team basically being a 500 team that's always in the play-in tournament.

They're still consistently packing that house.

Yeah.

Wild.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

It's, it's a fun experience to go there.

United Center is really fun.

I got to go.

I know.

Are you guys going through Chicago on tour?

We're not, unfortunately.

I love Chicago when we visit in the past, but you did get to spend some time there while you were working, which must be nice because you're from the area.

Yeah, Deliboys was great.

We saw a lot of friends and family.

I was there for like, I don't know, six or eight weeks.

Oh my God.

It was what a dream.

Yeah.

It was February.

Yeah, sure.

But I, you know, I don't always get a chance to go back a bunch of times throughout the year.

So that, that was great.

It was the first time that I'd filmed there since we filmed Shrink

back in 2016.

Wow.

And a bunch of crew were working from Shrink were working on Deliboys.

And I hadn't seen them in, you know, eight or nine years.

So that was really special.

That's crazy.

To come back because when we filmed that back in 2016, the Dick Wolf NBC shows had only been on for a few years.

And so

prior to the Dick Wolf shows, there was maybe one A-list crew, maybe one and a half in Chicago, and they would work on the Vince Vaughan Summer movie, you know, or something like that.

But that kind of was the

way you're, that's, that's the exact title, the Vince Vaughan Summer movie.

Starring like sitcom woman.

And, and then the Dick Wolf shows came and they started to expand, and then they got a CineSpace, you know, studio lot down there.

And so seven or eight shows are going at a time.

So all of a sudden you have seven or eight.

A-list crews working there.

And when Shrink came in, there were probably, I don't know, three or four shows.

And those shows have been going long enough that we siphoned all of their,

not department heads, but like the second in command.

And they basically went to their bosses and they said, you know, it's a two-month shoot.

Let me leave for two months or I quit because the Dick Wolf shows are like kind of a grind.

They're like 10 months out of the year.

They're like, okay, cool.

So everyone on our crew was so happy to be there.

They loved the tone of the show.

They loved the pace at which we were going.

They were like, you know, it was just a welcome environment for them.

So we all had a great time.

And then we filmed really fast.

It was over in a flash.

And to have that experience and then, you know, we got a second season and then the entire platform goes under.

So

there was all this promise and then it gets dashed.

And, you know, at the time it was heartbreaking.

Now I just see it as this anomaly.

Like we kind of beat the system and got a season of a show out there, which most people can't say that.

So I'm very grateful.

Shrink a casualty of CISO falling apart.

Can people watch Shrink these days?

Yeah, it's on Peacock.

Oh, there you go.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's great.

I do think that it kind of stands the test of time.

And our main EP, Patrick Daly, when we were making it, he's like, look, there are no guarantees.

Go as hard as you can on this.

Make the best possible show.

Make it an ending that has like a cliffhanger that we're really proud of.

So that if this is it, then we can walk away and we're happy about it.

And we did that.

I mean, by the skin of our teeth, literally, because we improvised probably like 30% of it in patient sessions.

And

Abomitable was our production company.

And Amelia was working there.

She actually worked on Shrink.

And when we came back,

we were cutting together all the improv that we had to like slot into these montages in the script.

We had basically like six empty pages per script

that the network made us put like strikethrus and like dummy like

scenes in because they were nervous by blank pages.

But essentially they were blank pages that we would account for by improvising and then putting them into montages.

Man, writing those fake blank pages, I would have crushed that.

Some writing that'll never be on TV.

Hell yeah.

I can't operate on you, doctor.

I'm a doctor.

We'll operate on each other.

You're 69.

So

we came back and we cut all the improv together.

And after we'd finished cutting everything that fit into these montages that fit into all eight episodes, we were left with about less than 90 seconds of usable material from the improv and when we figured that out that was when the abominable

people were like we didn't want to tell you how risky we thought it was we thought there's no way you're going to come back with enough material to fill all these things yeah like we made it by 90 seconds so it was a really like yeah it's just this kind of weird magical anomaly that i don't you know hopefully we'd love to sell another show and get to make it but yeah sure we all know that's really cool

yeah it's rather exists but to get to like see those people again and they're eight years further along in their career, and some of them department heading on deli boys, right?

And um, it that was really meaningful.

That's cool, that's awesome.

It's rare that you get that, yeah.

Do you have a

by the way, what did you think of Amelia when she was working on the show?

So supportive, yeah, incredibly supportive, but also, were you like, this person's a freak?

Did you feel that way at all?

I do remember clocking your Instagram handle,

yeah,

and I was like, okay, all right, this is a swing.

There's more to this person than I thought.

She's not just very supportive and nice.

There's something underneath there.

She told us

when we interviewed Amelia for this job.

Yes.

She was like, I have an Instagram handle, but it's like weird.

And maybe you didn't tell us in that first interview.

I think you did.

I think I did.

You thought about not.

You were like, I don't know.

I think I'm going to change it soon.

And then you're like, I guess it's Skid Mark 4.

Like, you almost did it.

I thought that.

That's what you changed it to?

No,

it was always Skid Mark.

I think she was trying to avoid telling us, saying, I'm going to change it.

There's four other skids.

Still, you're pretty early adopter

to get Skid Mark 4.

Yeah, I think I claimed it in like 2015, 2014, I want to say.

Wow.

Yeah,

that was my...

my memory of it.

What you were saying?

I was like, there's POV here.

You go back in time and claim Skid Mark 4, man.

I would love any of the Skid Mark handles.

Wise.

Where are we going back to?

So we're going back to like the 1910s.

We killed Baby Hitler.

No, I'm doing 2013.

I'm getting Skid Mark 1.

Skid Mark 1 would be, that would be quite the, that would be a steal.

I loved working on Trigg.

That's what I was going to say.

I got to see all the raw footage.

I had to transcribe some of those interviews.

Oh, that's right.

But

it was a blast to work on.

And I really liked,

I loved all the performances and the improv.

And yeah, it was, I was very proud of having to been a small part of it.

You know, I just saw Nick Gallucci, one of the editors.

Oh, really?

Yeah, we just caught up for the first time in years.

And that was really meaningful, too, because they, you know, we were nobodies to like everybody, right?

I had like 4,000 Instagram followers and they were all Chicago people.

So when we made the show, I'm not surprised that it didn't do numbers, you know?

But it's odd to have a show that quality-wise, we felt accomplished everything yeah sure and then it enters the marketplace and you're like oh wow there are significant um

roadblocks and obstacles to its success there was no money for pr or marketing you know and so you couldn't call it ciso was done calling in favors because we were like the sixth original that came out ciso is also the ciso was a tough thing to get around to the names yeah the font the colors of the fucking font like

all of it was doa stuff you know i i essentially show ran a show on CISO which is insane to even for me to even say the hidden America wages oh right right yeah which why you changed me up with I just want to quickly say uh Amelia said all this nice stuff about you and your show and then well no and then when she started the episode off she said I was a clown basically yeah it's by comparison she's very being very kind

tim what you were saying about like you worked with I was trying to bring up the CISO logo here

do you know what you mean there we go there's there's that old guy that's oh man there's that classic logo.

Do you know a show that did numbers?

What?

Numbers.

Num3ers?

Yeah.

Numbers does.

Do you have the chrome on yet?

We have not had chrome on.

I met Chrome once.

He was the first celebrity to play the Second City improv set when I was on ETC stage.

Wow.

Wow.

No, no, no.

He refused to play.

He refused to play.

Chrome.

We were begging the Chrome.

We're like, please.

And he's like, no, absolutely not.

I called him Chrome, which is even, which doesn't make sense, but sounds cool.

He

just didn't

blank check, yeah, yeah.

Oh, no, the Christopher Nolan.

Oh, yeah, an Oppenheimer.

He's an Oppenheimer.

He's a

popping all over.

He's a legend.

He is.

He's doing very well for himself.

Good for, good for, we'll get the crumb on at some point.

I'd love to get the crumb.

No, Tim, what you were saying a moment ago about like you worked with people on Shrink and then you'd run into them, you know, eight, nine years later, and you're working with them on Deliboys and just seeing where they are in their lives.

It's like we have a similar, we have half of that experience that you're describing working with Amelia back in the day and we work and talking about how supportive she was.

And we work with her now and all she does is dunk all over both of us

but look she's in the dunker spot it's true yeah

speaking of dunks we do got to go to chicago not in the wintertime but we i think when we tour there we usually are oh we went one time in the summer but we did go in the wintertime we got to go for a nice summer summer chicago tour

i love chicago i've always had a blast in the midwest this is this here's my question When you're back in Chicago, for me, I love pizzeria, Regina.

What's your, what is the spot you go to?

Like, I'm going to go eat at this spot in Chicago.

Right now, there's, there's like two or three spots.

Okay.

I'll give you like, I'll give you all, well, they're kind of like all the ranges.

My pizza place is Millie's in the Pan

in Uptown.

I think it's the best pizza in the city.

The guy only makes 65 pizzas per night.

Wow.

And he makes rent off it.

Wow.

And he's just like, that's it.

You have to reserve days in advance.

And my father-in-law was telling me about it.

I was like, oh my God, this is so bougie.

You know, you walk in and it's not.

It's just this guy's like, this is, these are the numbers that I need to do to pay my employees, to pay my rent, and to keep a little money for myself and to keep the ingredients where they're at.

Man, it's, it's not quite, it's pan style.

It's not deep dish.

Sure.

Because deep dish, I'm like, that's once a year for like tourists and family members.

Its own thing.

Yeah.

Pequad's is very good.

Pequads is good, but Millie's in the pan, I think, is the best in the city.

Wow.

Then my, my like favorite nostalgic place, which Lily actually was a waitress here, and I didn't, I didn't know that until like, like months into us dating, is this place called Penny's Noodle.

Okay.

Wow, Penny's Noodle.

And that's right under the L tracks.

It's this like really quaint, like, uh, like triangle-shaped restaurant, um, just like under the tracks, uh, a couple blocks south of Wrigley Field.

And it's Thai food, but it's like northern Thai.

Um, it's kind of, it's not, it's not fast.

I mean, it comes out fast.

And it's just like, I just love it.

The, just, I love it.

I fucking love it.

And I also, you just mentioned the L, and I was just like, oh, yeah, I went to some, you know, when we were there, like, yeah, you just go to like a restaurant under the L.

It's like, oh, that's a fun.

I mean, you would love it.

You would hate the, the cold is horrible.

The cold's tough for me, but I do love it.

It's also windy.

I know it's about the politicians being blow, you know, bloviating or whatever.

Yeah, sure.

But it is fucking windy and cold in that city.

It's brutal.

It's a freezing fucking city.

It's brutal.

It's a brutal city.

When you're there on a windy day,

it goes in every direction, too.

Yeah.

You'll be walking against the wind and you'll be like, okay, it's no big deal.

I'm about to turn left on this other street, and you turn and it's also hitting you in the face.

You're like, What the fuck is happening?

How is this possible?

And then sometimes you'll get one, and you're like, Oh, that feels kind of nice.

One of them will, you know, will blow you one way or the other.

And it goes up your

solid there.

Penny's noodle.

You had one other place where you lived?

Yeah,

like the higher-end place.

This is also an institution.

I think it was featured in The Bear,

which gets most things about Chicago right,

except

an Italian beef place would never make their own bread.

My brother-in-law, who grew up in Chicago, is like that.

He's like, that's inexcusable.

You would never make your own bread.

Wow.

Because it would cost so much and would be so, like,

the time that it would take to do that.

It's insane.

You would go to an Italian bakery, most likely within a mile, and bulk order

actual Italian bread.

So that was the only thing that

my family.

My family was like, my family's like, no, no, no, no, no.

But they go to this place called Avec.

Our friend Joanna Kalo, of course, Joanna.

Pastois.

Pasto.

Pasto.

The bread.

You got to.

You got to.

We'll be watching for a correction this season.

They apologize for season one.

No, but I love that.

Eben Moss Bachrock is like goals.

That guy.

I fucking love that guy.

I actually saw him when we were filming Deliboys.

We were on the same soundstage as the Bear.

Wow.

When they were doing season three, I guess.

And And I was, I was in this, I was in Deliboys.

I, at one point, I'm pretending to be an Italian mobster.

So they like slicked my hair back.

And I had like

a white t-shirt and like a gold chain and like a bad blazer.

I looked so stupid and I had big.

He's pissed off right now.

And I'm walking.

I'm walking like down the soundstage.

And then Jeremy Allen White and Maddie Matheson and Eben Moss Bachrock are walking.

And he's like, hey, what's up, man?

You recognize me from Gemstones?

And I'm looking so dumb.

And I'm like, big fan, you guys.

But I was, I, that dude, he's in the lake house.

And for some reason, I clocked him in the lake house as Keanu's brother.

And I didn't say this to him, but I'm like, man, so cool.

This dude's so cool.

Yeah.

Yeah, he's cool.

I've seen the lake house like six times.

Really?

I have.

I saw it four times on planes.

Wow.

Yeah.

I've never seen it once.

I'm going to go see it.

But he's a good actor.

Yeah, he's great.

He's in it for a short amount of time, but for some reason, I was always like, hey, it's the guy from the lake house.

Wait, you've seen it before.

By the way, if that character that you were dressed up as, we're about to see a lot of them in NEW jurs.

We're going to see a lot of those.

That's right, we're going to Newark.

We're going to Newark, so we're going to see, well, maybe not Doughboys.

I don't know.

You don't think it's going to be all those guys in the crowd?

Yeah.

I think it's going to be fat grease ball guys in the crowd instead.

I think we have some Guidos in our fan base.

Oh, there's for sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Look, I know I give them a hard time, but I love the Guidos.

I love them.

I give them a hard time.

I give them a hard time, but I love those Guidos.

Quote, tweet, Guido shit.

I had a, just what you were just saying, that story you were just telling reminded me of thing.

Many, many years ago, I was writing for this show.

And it was like a panel show.

So like you're, you'd have guests on and you'd be like, you know, writing jokes for them.

And just so they'd go out and they'd, they'd be, you know, like, hey, whatever the topic is, they're going to have something ready to say.

And

so you, like, I, but I was working on that show, but I also hadn't, was doing an on-camera bit in it.

And as part of the on-camera bit, I had had like a, they put me in like a, a, you know, 2010 era like douchebag outfit where I had like a like a double polo shirt with a pop collar and like I had longer hair at the time, it was like greased up, you know.

And so I'm just talking to this guy, just sort of saying, like, yeah, and you know, what goes on, we'll show this video of this, you know, woman falling down, and then you'll maybe make one of these jokes or whatever.

And the guy, the whole time was like, okay, yeah, sure, whatever, man.

And he went out there and, you know, he did some of the stuff we worked on.

It did, it went great.

And then afterwards, he was like, hey, man, I'm sorry I was weird earlier.

I thought you just were that guy.

Like, that's the representation the show was like, but we also have to have one of the.

Yeah, yeah.

Eben Moss Baccarat.

Oh, God.

Eben Moss Bacharat.

Is that how you say?

Bachrock.

Bachrock.

He's the thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Which I audition.

I told Marvel I could save him a lot of money with CGI if they just cast me.

Just like puts a little, you know, like puts like sprinkle a little gravel on me.

But they gave it to him.

I mean, he's a much.

Sprinkle a little gravel.

Just like dip it in glue and then toss it.

They would have saved a lot on effects.

That's what I was trying to, that's what I was trying to, you know, I was trying to say.

Yeah, no, yeah, I get what you're saying.

My audition went like really bad for the thing, but, you know.

Give me a little thing.

You got to have some.

I said it's clobbering.

I said it's clubbering time.

Oh, that's a lot.

I was like, oh, hold on.

Wait, no, hold on.

Can I take that back?

No,

you want to see it, hear something?

Is that what you're saying?

No, you just did it.

It's fine.

All right, good.

Thank you.

Thank God.

I just want to hear you say that.

I'm too tired today.

I cannot function today.

What's your third place?

Because I have a follow.

Oh, it's called Avec.

I've heard of Avec.

I've heard of it.

Avec is great.

The original location on Randolph, I think, because they have a second one in the River North or something like that.

But the original one's great.

It's just one of those places you walk into and you're like, oh, you can feel like the atmosphere is kind of electric.

They have a big counter that you can sit at um they have a couple staples uh infatuation chicago just had michael shannon there which is really funny because you know he's so intense and yeah he had like half his head shaved but the other half not shaved and he's like these bacon wrap dates they're so good

you know it's just yeah that one's worth checking out wow is it just is it a gastro type

like what what what exactly because i know i've i feel like i've just read this on a chicago eater i've heard of it before but It has like maybe Mediterranean or Lebanese, New American

influences.

The wine list is really good, but pretty eclectic.

Sure.

Like

they'll have random stuff from, you know, like the Middle East,

like a wine from the Middle East.

Yeah, it's very hard to describe, but also like a real magical place where you're like, man, that was an incredible meal.

You know what I hold dear in my heart?

And it's a very touristy spot, but I do love it.

And I went there when my dad was sick.

And we went to Chicago.

That's one of the trips we took when my dad was sick.

And we did the Wendella cruise, which

people love to point out that Dave Matthews shit got poured on one of the boats there.

Yeah, we do love to point that out.

It's very funny.

And his piss.

And his piss.

And his piss, but also

in the toilet.

Oh, definitely.

On a tour bus, you got to jack in the toilet.

There's no other option.

I say that you.

Can you please jack in the toilet?

Jack to it all these days.

Yelling that at the violinist.

I have heard a theory, by the way, that it was actually the opening band and Dave Matthews took the hit for them.

He would.

Wow.

He is a good.

Dave Matthews is a good, good man.

What wasn't the whole thing, though?

It was the, like, the driver.

Hargin should feel fucking lucky to be covered in his shit.

But what wasn't the whole thing?

I thought the whole thing on that was just, it was just the driver going rogue.

Like, it wasn't like anyone egging him on.

Dave Matthews has any control over the functions of the bus.

The driver thought it was funny.

But I have heard that at times Dave Matthews drives the bus.

Oh, so it could have been that.

Well, I actually, no, that's unsubstantiated.

But

that'd be interesting if he's like, we're going over a bridge.

I got this.

I got to get up there.

Man, imagine that.

You're like, oh, brown, yellow, white.

That's when you find out there's cum in there.

When you're covered in shit and piss or cum, the first thing that everyone's brain does is describe the color.

So to go back to the heartfelt thing.

Can I say one more thing about that?

Well, yes, I'm not sure what to do with that.

The funny fact about that whole fiasco is they cleaned the

boat.

in time for the 2 p.m.

tour that day.

Oh my god.

Wow.

I was actually, i was working in a high-rise building when that happened that overlooked that bridge whoa wow yeah you could have seen it you could have seen it go down yeah jesus uh yeah i worked i worked at like at michigan avenue and the river the chicago river and so you could see a bunch of um

a bunch of bridges down the river and then that happened and and like words started circulating and then we're all looking out there we're like oh my god oh my god this is crazy you could have pissed and shit on them too now they wouldn't know that they would be none the wiser perfect crime

yeah you'd go out there.

Actually, there were a ton of Chicagoans that like that you could see them running, streaming out of the building, almost like, you know, like, like they were zombies or like they're in The Last of Us and they're just going there and everyone's dropping their pants and shivving

like people turning off.

It's the only time the cops have been like

those old Irish cops.

As you were.

I think they didn't even clean up the boat for the 2 p.m.

and those fucking filthy Chicagoans didn't notice a thing.

I like to shit on Chicagoans.

This is a new thing.

Everyone gives Boston so much shit.

I like to shit on other cities.

Chicago, such a fun city.

And when I went there with my dad and we went out on the lake for the 4th of July, it was great.

But we went to Gibson's

steakhouse.

I got to go to Gibson's.

I know it's touristy.

No, Gibson's is great.

I love it.

I love it.

I love it.

There's sometimes those spots, and I mean.

Oh, yeah.

I love Morton's.

The LA equivalent might be like a, you know, Musso and Frank.

You know, it's like, this is touristy, but this is a landmark for a reason, and it's kind of a fun night out to go.

Musso and Frank.

We went the end of your me, you, and sus went for the steak and shake.

That's right.

We had a lovely time.

We had a great time.

Oh, yeah.

I was looking it up because this is a newer chain that we visited, Mitch, in 2023 when we were there with our buddies Carl Tart and Jamie Loftus, Do-Wright Donuts, which has donuts, but is also a fried chicken place and specifically fried chicken sandwiches, which is something we're talking about today.

But I don't know if you've had a chance to have Do-Wright.

We No, was it good?

Yeah, it was real good.

Donuts, too?

Yeah.

Oh,

everything was great.

By the way, I want to say Chicagoans do love when I'm like, this place sucks shit.

They are one of the cities that are like, yeah,

they love to get shit on.

It's very funny.

Well, because you don't want too many people moving there.

Yeah, yeah.

Maybe that's a part of it.

Like the summer and the fall are great.

So, but the winter breaks people.

Yeah.

And it's this nice kind of like, and also like, you know, conservatives go nuts.

They're Chicago.

It's a hell hole.

Oh, you're like, cool.

Stay the fuck out of there.

Wait, we have enough corruption.

We don't need that.

Okay.

You don't like it, babe.

I wonder why you don't like it.

We only want one conservative, Vince Fawn for his summer movie.

Come on in, Vince.

Oh, God.

I got to ask one more place.

Yeah.

There's the famous

Osh Chevelle.

Do you like that?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they have Small Cheval now.

Small chevelle yeah that's that's i've never had that's like the big burger i think i've never had yeah that burger kuma's corner corner i've had i've had we've had the billy go tavern wise we went to

fun that is fun billy goes fine i remember the first time

like i grew up you know in joliet which is like past the chicago suburbs so you hear about

yes yeah which was three blocks from my elementary school wow yeah so we would pass it in the bus like every day wow really crazy and my dad actually taught there for like two years i think he taught like speech and english to Brazil.

Yeah, my grandpa taught it every time.

Canonically, he would be teaching Jake and Elwood.

They're canonically back in the slammer, aren't they?

At the end of the day,

and then I toured that prison because that prison's been decommissioned

for at least a decade.

And so now it's like a historical museum.

And actually, this is weird.

Do we have time?

This is like

a four-minute story.

So this is really weird.

It's very random.

Jim Downey's from my hometown.

Oh, right.

Yes.

So is Paula Pell.

And I think Melissa McCarthy grew up in Plainfield, but then went to high school in Joliet, and my aunt was her guidance counselor.

Wow, so a lot of the comedy pedigree and Andy Dick is from Joliet too.

Okay, wow, and Anthony Rapp.

Okay, oh, wow.

I think it stops.

I think it stops there.

Yeah.

Still pretty good.

You can toss Dick in the prison there in Joliet.

But a good, but he's breaking in, buddy.

So

I met him a senior year in high school when he was going on his Goodwill PR tour after that guy from Suddenly Susan killed himself.

Anyway, that's not the story.

So the story is Jim Downey gets win that I'm from Joliet like five or six years ago.

I was doing these spots for ATT during March Madness and he thought they were really funny.

And so his assistant hits me up and she's like, Jim Downey wants to get in touch with you.

I'm like, oh, okay, yeah, here's my number.

And she's like, no, you'll have to reach out to him.

And he's got like a burner phone that you can reach out.

I'm like, oh, okay.

All right.

So like six months go by and I run into her again.

She's like, did you ever call him?

I'm like, no, I thought this was like, like a joke or something.

She's like, no, no, he wants to hear from you.

Okay.

So I call him and he's about to hang up and I'm like, no, no, Tim Balls, Joliette, Joliet, Joliet, Joliette.

And he's like, oh, hey, what's up?

Oh, my God.

He thought I had a spam caller.

Oh, my God.

So then I talked to him for like 45 minutes and, you know, find out that like

my parents and him have these mutual friends because he went to the same high school as my dad, but like eight, 10 years later.

And he's like, okay, well, well, we'll keep in touch.

Well, I'm, you know, years, years go by, I don't hear from him.

And then out of the blue, maybe like April of 2023, he calls me out of the blue.

And I'm like, oh, Jim Downey's calling me.

I answer the phone.

And he's like, hey, hey, how are you?

Hey, my birthday's coming up in October.

Are you going to be in Joliet?

You know, I mean, I go to Joliette like three times a year.

And I'm like, well, actually, yeah, I am going to be there.

My mom's moving and I have to help her move.

And I can't really lie about it because we have mutual mutual friends.

Sure.

Not that I would have lied about it, but I said, Yeah, actually, I'll be there.

He's like, Okay, great.

John Mulaney's playing the Rialto theater in town, and

Pete Davidson's opening for him.

So I figured we could all tour the Joliet prison and then go out to dinner together before the show.

Okay, sure, Jim.

There's no way this is going to happen.

Yeah, sure.

So then I'm home at my mom's place.

And like the two days before Jim Downey calls, he's like, Okay, great.

So we'll meet at the prison.

All right.

So I meet at the prison.

John Mulaney shows up.

Pete can't do it because he has to host SNL last minute.

That was what happened a couple of years ago.

So we just tour the Joliet prison.

Oh my God.

With someone giving us a historical tour.

And John Mulaney is just kind of doing bits with Downey the whole time.

I'm like, what the hell is this?

That's fantastic.

My elementary school is a couple blocks away.

And then we leave and we go to this restaurant in Joliet, which some people love.

Not my favorite, but some people love it.

And Downey loves it.

And we eat at this place.

And then we go see Mulaney's show.

And then the show's over.

And Downey's like, great, okay, great.

All right.

Well, I'll get in touch soon.

And every once in a while, he'll text me.

He's like, are you in LA?

And I'll be like, no, I'm not.

He's like, oh, and no response.

That's wild.

Wow.

The connection of a hometown guy, just a

how, like, this really could have helped me earlier in my fucking career.

He was like, it's too bad you never auditioned for SNL.

I was like, I did.

I did, Jim.

I was like, what year?

I was like, 2012.

He's like, hmm, I was gone by then.

Wait, no, I wasn't.

I'm like, what the fuck, man?

All it took was for you to know I was for fucking Joliette.

That's fucking, I mean, it would drive me insane, too, of course.

No, it's okay.

It's okay.

Yeah.

Hey, you got the prison tour.

I got the prison tour out of it.

That's as good as SNL.

What a, what a, what a, not since Jake and Elwood has the comedy pedigree in that building with you and Jim Downey and John Mulaney.

What a, what a trio to be in there.

Yeah.

Plus, some joliet people that were real funny guys i guess

that's a wild story also just jim downey i mean who is legendary to to you know am i like uh just the fact that he would want you to reach out to him that's like that's very that's crazy yeah i i'm still like a little kind of stunned because he's the kind of the first person that was on my radar of comedy people were like oh you came from here and you've made it you know that's weird um

you know we got it we got to do it we got to do a joliette tour if we're back back in Chicago.

I guess that would be fun.

I love my hometown.

I'm super proud of it.

But if you're in the Chicago area and you say, like, I'm from Joliette, people will, like, they'll instinctively flinch.

Oh, okay.

Or they say, I'm sorry.

Oh, man.

So we should not go to Joliet.

If you do, I'll give you all my recommendations.

All right.

You go to Home Cut Donuts, best donuts in the world.

Wow.

Home Cut Donuts is fucking amazing.

Okay.

Good to know.

Open 24 hours.

Wow.

All right.

363 days a year.

I mean, I love it.

And also,

I don't know if we should, I'm not sure if we put, should, should just tempt the thing of putting you in a prison.

I don't know if they'll just.

I love it here.

It sounds like what you're saying about Joliet to Chicago is kind of like what Quincy is to Boston.

People don't think it's fucking hella.

I mean, people do not.

Quincy was a working-class city for

one point, but now it's just as gentrified, if I like, as anywhere else.

Well, Joliet, people flinch at it for, you know, for cruel socioeconomic reasons.

Sure,

it's a classist, racist thing.

100%.

Which that's why I stand Joliet now.

Yeah.

Wow.

I want to visit Joliet.

And I only knew it from blue.

Now I know so much more about it, too.

But

we got to segue quickly.

Wow.

Before we get into food,

I got to know the origin of this Gatorade shirt.

Are you a golfer, by the way?

Yeah, but only for the last like two or three years.

Okay.

And I actually haven't golfed in a year because I got golfer's elbow from pole dancing, from learning pole dancing and gemstones.

oh my god yeah that's wow that's it sucks yeah that's golfer's elbow is awful it's so much worse than tennis elbow you were golfing but you got golfer's elbow from an activity that wasn't golfing yes wow

yeah it's that's wild it's brutal it happens i can i didn't know either wages yeah um yeah i'm i'm trying to get into it so maybe we could golf

I'm not going to pole.

I'm not going to fucking bend a pole.

We should go to the Los Felis 3, the swingers,

right off the five.

I love it.

That's like like the we call it the people's course.

It's so

man.

It's an easy, it's like a shitty, easy course.

Oh, man.

Yeah.

What'd you call the swingers course?

People's.

Yeah, it's in swingers.

It's in swingers.

Oh, it's in swingers.

Okay.

Well, we call it the people's course because it's,

it's, it's not for the elites.

There's a, we were talking about mess hall earlier, which was in swingers.

That was the brown derby.

And then also it's called the derby.

And that's where they, they go and like, they go in the movie, they go there.

That's like where the big dance number.

That's what, that's what Metz Hall once was.

Oh, wow.

Mighty Fallen.

100%.

How did you get this Gator H?

How did I get this?

Okay, so the pandemic, I went a little, we all went crazy in our own separate ways.

Sure.

I, uh, I started going on eBay and finding like boxes of basketball cards from when I was in junior high.

I collected basketball cards just the three years I was in junior high.

And I, um, there was this run on like, on cards and collecting during the pandemic because everyone was trapped inside.

And I was like, you know what?

I just need something to make me feel, I don't know, tap back into like some stimming thing that made me feel good as a kid.

My mom found Gulf War cards during the pandemic.

That's what she got into.

Your mom's like Alexander Scar's Garden Garden State all of a sudden.

COVID

turned her into that.

Michael, I have a PSA 9 Norman Schwartzkopf.

Don't know who it is, but I know it's a reference.

This is an investment.

So

I started with that, and then that got pretty out of control.

But Lily was very supportive,

but it got out of control.

Yeah.

And so I was like, I got to shift gears.

But I love the NBA and I love all teams.

So I started going on there and finding hats.

of specifically like early 90s, mid-90s before the logos sucked,

before all the redesigns and like the late 90s, which were.

too sleek.

Oh, yeah.

And now, yeah, now it's like weird.

Like, it just feels like, I don't know, tech, everything feels automated.

And I feel lucky with Celtics that it is just a classic.

So lucky.

It's great.

Yeah.

Look, all of our primary fandoms, Celtics.

Bulls, and me, I've lived in Southern California my whole life, Los Angeles Lakers.

These are all like kind of logos that stand the test of time.

And, but, yeah, a lot of these teams keep reworking things.

And I mean, like, like the Detroit Pistons have a great classic logo, but they had a time in the late 90s where they had a redesign that was pretty aggressively ugly.

Ooh, really ugly.

Yeah.

Yeah, those redesigns, that was gross.

So I went back and I started finding hats, the specific brands.

And you just keyword search and find stuff.

And then I would get them.

Sometimes they were in bad shape.

This is right at the beginning when I had shifted to hats.

And so I figured out this method on how to clean them.

and basically make them look brand new.

Wow.

Because they're used.

Yeah.

I'm like, God, I might be getting some sweaty hat from like a guy from 30 30 years ago.

Sure.

So I cleaned them and then I'm like, oh, no.

Now I know how to like redeem all these hats.

So then I, then I bought, I mean, bought like 50 or 60

old hats like this.

And I almost wore a Timberwolves one.

I'm glad I didn't.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Because, you know, it's fine.

Okay.

Seriously, we'll over by the time this episode's out.

Is it 3-1?

It's 3-1.

I mean, yeah, whatever.

It's not a great future.

You're set up for the future.

Yeah, we're set up for the future.

Yeah, yeah, true.

The charmed life.

And yeah, and then I stumbled across this.

I don't even know why.

Maybe it was because I started golfing and I looked for like polo or something.

Sure.

No, actually, it was because Lily was kept trying to wear this one polo that I've had since sixth grade.

Yeah.

I'm like, absolutely not.

Sometimes I'd come home, she'd be wearing this polo.

I'm like, this is unacceptable.

Like, I'm trying to take a shit here.

Pavlovian, every time I take a shit, she puts on one of the polos.

It's vintage polos, too.

You know, what is it?

I mash it with the book open.

It's my own fault.

There's only one solution.

You can't can't shit.

You got to hold it in, my man.

I know.

In the house, you got to hold it in.

It's true.

I got a bucket outside.

So, yeah, I found this, and I was like, wow, this is really.

Oh, wait, what's the wrong guy?

Yeah.

And I can't say it.

I'll say it now.

But this was a, I had a friend who worked on a

sitcom.

And I don't know if you know from Chicago.

I've never met him.

But he, like, he was so lazy that he refused to leave the set to use the restroom.

So they had a bucket for him in the closet

that he would piss in.

And at the end of the day, PAs would draw straws and one of them would have to go empty it.

Isn't that a nightmare?

That's disgusting.

All right,

oh, man.

I wish you'd keep that in.

That's too funny.

Yellow, brown, white.

Damn.

Tough day for balls.

Good day for balls.

I guess we'd keep it in if we bleep both names that were just said.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that's good.

That's good.

Great callback to the shit piss and con.

You don't want to lose that.

That's what the doughboys are really all it's about.

Yeah, we can bleep out.

Can we bleep out the names?

Is that okay?

All right, we'll talk about it.

We'll talk about it.

But anyway, we're ready.

All right, if not, let's pick it up here.

Yeah.

We just got back from a story about some actor that has a piss bucket.

His name is Mike Mitchell.

Wait, we were in the middle of something.

What were we talking about?

Oh, you're shirt.

We were talking about the origin of your Gatorade chart.

Oh, yeah.

I just went down an eBay rabbit hole where I'm like, you know, I couldn't afford stuff like this when I was a kid.

I'm like, now I can.

Fuck it.

I'm buying the old stuff.

And if you learn how to, you know, make something like new, you get a tremendous amount of satisfaction.

Wow.

The, the, um, you know, maintaining like old stuff, it's, it's nice.

That to me is, I love Gatorade already, and that is just a good classic.

I'm a big, I am a big Gatorade fan.

Are you you a Gatorade?

Are you not a Gatorade fan?

I just

shirt isn't making me thirsty.

You know what?

I don't know why that's killed me.

I think Lily is right to steal your shirt then

if you don't care about the Gatorade factor.

No, I do.

It's cool.

And

it's the 90s.

It's the retro ones.

The looks are great here.

Wait, do you have a favorite?

Because you're wearing the Spurs hat.

Spurs hat is great.

That classic logo.

Do you have a favorite in your collection or ones that are your go-to?

This one's one's really high up there.

Yeah, for sure.

I love Wemba Nyama.

I'm half French, so I'm really proud of Wembanyama.

I'm really excited about Wembanyama.

And I also, there was this card shop down in South Carolina in Charleston.

Shout out to Collector's Corner.

And they were in the mall.

Roughhouse, the production company,

had basically taken over the old Sears when it went bankrupt, and that was their production headquarters.

And so one day I was wandering around the mall and I stumbled on this like little card shop, memorabilia shop.

And I'm like, uh-oh, this is bad news, you know, because I'm there alone.

Lily comes out and visits for short periods of time.

Yeah.

And so I start buying cards from this guy.

And I, you know, we become buddies.

And I'm going in there a lot.

And he kind of talked me into buying this expensive box.

And I show up and he's like, hey, I kept something for you in the back.

And he brings it out and it's kind of expensive.

And I'm like, oh, wow.

Okay, let's do it.

And I pulled a Wembanyama autograph.

Wow.

Yeah.

That's wild.

It's in a safe place.

That's cool as hell.

Can't be stolen.

Wow.

By the way, when Lily visits, when she leaves, like, how many shirts do you have left?

She goes on the road.

Yeah, she went on the CBB tour, and I only had pants.

I had to put pants on and walk around my head through the crotch.

Yeah, head through the fly.

Yeah, that makes sense.

I'm eating.

I'm at all time.

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Let's talk about the Popeyes pickle menu.

Popeyes founded in 1972 in New Orleans by Al Copeland, Copeland, an infamous huckster Mitch, who we've talked about in the past,

who named his chain Popeyes because he wanted the free IP association with Popeye the Sailor Man.

And at the time, Rip Gene Hackman, the French Connection, the movie was very, very big.

And Popeye Doyle, the character from that, was the other association he was trying to claim.

He also publicly feuded with an interview with a vampire author Ann Rice later in life, another New Orleans legend.

Yeah.

What was the feud?

You know, it was over real estate.

Okay.

It was like basically he owned a property that she wanted and then they publicly,

yeah, basically.

One of those.

Anyway, they're around 3,000 locations worldwide, which puts in the top 20 of American chain restaurants.

It's approximately the size of Jersey Mike's.

This is our fifth canonical review of Popeyes, most recently reviewed in 2022 with Van Robeshow, where it entered the Platinum Plate Club.

We all gave it five forks.

Bug Main, who also made an appearance in that episode, gave, quote, new religions being started by the movies Coco and Soul, end, quote, zero forks.

I don't remember what that was in reference to.

Me neither.

This is in our Wikipedia.

Yeah, it's in our Wikipedia.

Shout out to the node.

Also, apparently, I applied the Doughboy's lock, which means it cannot be unmoored from the PPC.

It is in the Pickle Club.

It's the Platinum Plate Club.

I don't know.

I guess I did it.

Anyway, the pickle menu launched on April 1st of this year.

It sounded like an April Fool's joke, but it is a real thing that has been heavily, yeah, has been heavily advertised during the NBA playoffs.

The quote is, no one pickles like Popeyes.

Perfect for the NBA.

Perfect.

Are you a pickle fan?

Yeah, where are you standing on pickles?

Yeah, I like pickles.

Also, I love cornichon.

Oh, yeah.

Those are fun.

Yeah.

What about fried cornichon?

Has anyone done that?

No.

That would be nice.

That's a good idea.

They like popcorn chicken, but pickle version.

Jemmy woke up at that notion.

Jemmy.

Hey, what do you think of this clown's idea here, huh, Amelia?

Fried cornichone.

That's interesting.

I do like fried pickles, but I like pickles just in general.

And I'm more of a, you know,

I'm not as much of a, what'd you say?

Pickle freak.

You're not a pickle freak.

I'm not, I'm quite a pickle freak, but I love.

Sister big time pickle freak.

I love more of a dill pickle as opposed to like a bread and butter as opposed to like, I like a dill relish relish as opposed to a sweet relish speaking of chicago just this funny thing of kowalek's cousin remember the hannibal burr burris there's hannibal burris has a bit about pickle juice oh yeah and uh how he like likes to put pickle juice on stuff and then you got mad at his roommate for throwing it away and the roommate is koalik's cousin which is just a very funny koala connection that doesn't make sense our buddy kowalek yeah yeah yeah the rat man um we love him we love him so right now they have a i'll just run through all the menu items that they have.

Wait, where do you stand on pickles?

You like Corniche Ones?

My sister's a huge pickle freak.

I love Corniche Ones.

I love pickles, but the way Hannibal Burris is and the way my sister are like

dipping

bread into pickle juice.

I'll sometimes drink pickle juice.

It's also, I'll say this.

Pickle juice, and I think for this,

for the Popeye's pickle menu, if you had one of those pickle lemonades, very strong,

we'll talk about them.

But if you had a hangover, pickle juice, I found out is great for hangover.

Uh, that it's very helpful for hangover.

And I, and I like ate a big pickle once when I was hungover, and it was like a lifesaver.

Yeah, I know that sounds insane, but it worked great.

A lot of people sent pickle juice after like an intense workout, too, like after a run.

Yeah, you've heard of this.

I believe that actually has something to do with the genesis of Gatorade: the same sort of restorative properties.

So I'm like, wow, look at that.

Yeah, about that.

That's nuts.

That's crazy.

That's the craziest thing we'll find out on this podcast.

I am not,

I'm not dipping bread into pickle juice.

I'm not pouring.

I like pickles.

I do like them.

It's for some people, you know, I'm a bit of a heat seeker.

I do like spicy foods, but for some people, like hot sauce is like an identity.

Like, I'm putting hot sauce on absolutely everything.

I feel like pickles are a similar sort of thing.

There's some people who are so into pickles that they got to have pickles like with basically every meal.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But it's not quite.

You know, my sister loves mustard too.

And I feel like the two kind of go together.

Yeah, they're kind of linked.

They kind of both have that sort of sour, sort of pungent quality to it.

I don't know what the deal is.

If you had a sandwich and it has mustard on it, it could also have pickles on it.

100%.

That's your sister, right?

That's my sister.

Yes.

She's lifting it up and she's like, oh, good.

Yes.

Extra pickles always and pickles on the side.

And mustard and pickles, I think, do work well together.

Well, yeah, there's, I mean, for me, the hot dog is a natural context.

And we can talk about Chicago hot dogs if you like.

But like, I, I, if I can get a hot dog with yellow mustard, uh, relish, and then, you know, like, ideally dill relish, but sweet relish will do, and then like raw onions.

That's like my favorite.

That's like my idea.

I don't want to talk about the Chicago dogs.

No, we can talk about them.

You want to talk about them?

Sure.

They're good.

They're good.

I like a char dog.

Char dogs are great.

Yeah, I like, I'll take, I like a little ketchup on it.

I know that some people will be like, you can't do the Chicago with the two ways.

You can't be fucking kidding me.

Yeah, Arnold.

What if Arnold Schwarzenegger was from Chicago?

But yeah, I like ketchup mustard relish.

I love celery salt.

Oh, yeah.

I love celery salt.

Raw onion, same thing.

But I like all the fixings, I guess.

The tomato at Sport Peppers.

Sport peppers are fun.

Man, I've had some bad experiences, too.

God, I had a sport pepper there when I was there in February, I think.

I was at a Super Bowl party.

Oh, man.

It was bad.

Was it too spicy?

What was the deal?

It just like hit one of those, like I inhaled and it was like in the nose, and then

that's the worst.

You sometimes bite into a spice, like one of them small, those small guys, those spicy peppers, and like hits you in the back of the throat, like rocks your uvula.

And it's like, that's it's just over.

I'm a heat seeker, too.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Dobles.

That's Arnold's a super fan.

Dobools.

Yeah.

As a super fan.

That would have been great.

Yeah, one of the super fans.

That's what you need AI for

to do that.

Farley's getting the heart attack, attack and he's like, oh no, help him with the heart attack.

Get him to the copter.

Hurry up.

Get him to the copter.

Jim Downey texts you after this episode is out.

I'm making that.

I'm going to make it happen.

Okay, so I'll run through the whole menu and we can just talk about our reactions to them.

But we were able to get everything, I'm pretty sure, because Amelia went in store.

They don't have the fried pickles on the app, but in store, some people were saying they had some success with it.

You were able to pick them up there.

We got everything everything except they ran out of the chilled

pickle lemonade.

There's a frozen version of the pickle lemonade, and we did not get that.

We got everything else.

So there's a pickle glaze sandwich, which is their Popeyes chicken sandwich with a zesty pickle glaze in addition to the standard pickles that come on it.

There are pickle glaze, bone-in wings, and boneless wings, which is again the pickle-infused glaze on those two different wing preparations.

There are fried pickles.

I'll read that.

Which a lot of places have not had the fried pickle.

We were lucky that we got the fried pickles.

That's what I just mentioned, yeah, that we had to go in person to do it.

Crispy golden brown fried pickles are battered in Popeye's signature seasoning and fried to perfection.

And we also got the pickle lemonade, and we talked about how we only got the

regular one,

not the frozen one.

And we got some other items, but we'll start with the pickles.

I mean,

I will just say.

The fried pickles?

I think the pickle stuff in general, the pickle side of the menu.

Yeah.

The pickle glazed sandwich, we all got one for ourselves.

That was kind of my main thing that I ate.

I love the Popeye's chicken sandwich.

Have you had it before?

Yes.

Yeah.

It's fucking great.

I love it.

I'm eating this some bitch and I'm like,

I don't even know that this is a pickle glaze sandwich.

Like it's until I basically reach the midpoint of the sando, which is where all of the glaze is concentrated, because they basically just put like one.

I get that they're making these things in a hurry, but they kind of just put one dot on it and then just slam the bun on there.

And then I'm not getting that pickle glaze throughout.

Whereas I thought the whole breast was going to be coated with a pickle glaze.

That's what I expected.

It's kind of slathered.

You're saying pickle glaze too much, by the way.

I just want to give you a heads up.

Okay.

I like the pickle glaze.

I don't think we're going to get through this episode without saying pickle glaze.

I am saying pickle glaze, too.

I guess it is kind of.

I'm saying pickle glaze.

So, my thing with the pickle glaze was.

It is kind of contagious when you say pickle glaze.

You do kind of have to say pickle glaze quite a bit.

Anyway, you're talking about the pickle glaze.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

I was talking about that pickle glaze.

I actually, you guys were saying I don't taste any pickle glaze.

And I was saying, I actually do taste pickle glaze immediately.

The sensation, the tastes of the pickle glaze immediately was resonating through my mouth.

You guys were not tasting it.

And I got it immediately.

Towards the end of my sandwich, the last couple bites, I was like, oh, there's not pickle glaze on this, on this part of the sandwich.

The distribution of the pickle glaze

was

more on yours.

My pickle glaze was

pretty, it was pretty glazed.

Yeah, they kind of petered north the pickle glaze onto yours.

They squirted more onto yours.

Yeah, they definitely squirted more.

pickle glaze on yours.

Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't taste it.

I didn't taste it at all in a sandwich.

I tasted that something was different.

I didn't, and I guess that was the pickle glaze, but it didn't taste like pickles enough for me to think that it was

what was advertised.

It was pretty subtle.

And that's a quick question.

What is a glaze?

Is that a sauce?

Yeah.

So you want us to describe pickle glaze in fewer than two words.

It's kind of, I feel like glazes are generally sweeter sauces.

I know, but I never am talking about, I want a,

you know what I could go for is I want a glaze.

Give me some sort of glaze.

You know what I mean?

And now I'm going crazy about the pickle glaze.

You have less of,

I'll say, you have less of a sweet tooth than I think a lot of people.

Like you're not as much of a, right?

Yeah, but still sweet tooth people are like, I don't need glaze.

I think some people who like like sweet meat, like sweet with their meat will be more into glazes.

I think a glaze is usually applied like during cooking as opposed to a sauce, which is applied after.

Well, not donuts.

Donuts are glazed after the sauce.

That's true.

See, no one knows what the fuck a glaze is.

Have you said this before that you're a heat seeker and you're a sweet seeker?

I am.

Actually, we kind of, but here's the thing.

I'm not really a sweet.

I like, I like sodas,

which I guess makes me a sweet seeker.

But I'm not like a, I don't have like a huge sweet tooth.

Maybe that isn't even true.

I'm looking for a definition.

Maybe I am.

Maybe I just am a fucking sweet seeker and I can't fucking come to terms with it for whatever reason.

I like sweet drinks the most, though.

And I try not to drink them ever.

But sweet drinks I like more than desserts.

Glazes generally are, this is, I'm just looking into one definition here.

I think we maybe have said sweet seeker and seed seeker.

Smooth, shiny coatings.

Smooth, shiny coatings applied to the surface of a dish, generally sweet or savory,

and usually made by reducing a liquid until it thickens.

So yeah, a lot of times they are sugar-based or fat-based.

And so that's why they're not necessarily sweet by definition, but a lot lot of them are.

Okay.

But yeah, I don't know.

I mean, like,

here it's basically just a sauce.

It's, it's just a, just think of it as a thicker sauce.

I would say it's not, I think the glaze part is fake, maybe.

It is.

It's just a pickle sauce.

It's just a pickle sauce, and they could have used more of it.

But I don't know.

What did you like, like, like beyond it not quite meeting your expectations?

Well, because also there wasn't enough sauce on my sandwich.

So when I had the boneless chicken wing and that was covered in sauce, then I really really hit it, and it was, it was spicier than I thought.

And it felt, it did, it wasn't too chemically, you know.

No.

But I did say when we were eating it, I'm like, I wonder if they just were experimenting.

They made a new sauce and they were like,

like, it's not, you know, it's not poison.

What flavor is it?

And someone's like, I don't know, pickle?

And they're like, oh my God, pickle.

Yes, great.

When do we do it?

And they're like, NBA playoffs.

Were they working backwards from the sauce or did they have the idea for a pickle menu?

And we're like, let's try to approximate that as much as possible.

I do think it had not enough sauce on the sandwich, at least our versions of it.

Did you ever get the sandwich?

Emma, you got something, didn't you?

You got just some chicken tendies.

Okay, how were those?

They were great.

Yeah.

I mean, Popeyes' fried chicken is delightful.

The wings I thought were good.

We got both the bone in and the boneless with the pickle glaze, as I mentioned.

Yes, you're right, Tim, that there had, there was like a reservoir in one of the boneless containers of pickle glaze, and that was the best way to taste what it actually like, you know, was supposed to taste like.

And I took one of those bone in wings and just kind of, you know, dipped it in there.

And I was like, this is pretty good.

I don't think I'd ever order this if this was like, hey, here are all the options and one of them is pickle glaze.

I'm going to choose pickle glaze over like a hot buffalo or a barbecue.

I don't know why I do that to myself, but I do think it was a pretty good, you know, in terms of delivering on that expectation.

Yeah.

And there was a, there, it was a weird little reservoir, like you you were saying.

It was really hard.

I don't remember why there was so much in that we, we hit, we definitely hit oil in that one container.

The squirts were completely uneven for all our experiences.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm the same.

It didn't ruin any of the chicken.

No.

It was just a sauce that I'm like, well, I wouldn't naturally go there.

And they should have had sauce on the side, right?

That we could have dipped.

Yeah.

But they can't do it because they called it a glaze.

Yeah.

It would have been nice because we got, they have so many sauces on the side there that you can get.

And we got a bunch of them.

It's like Chick-fil-A.

They got eight different sauces.

We got a bunch of them.

I don't want to see it.

I love the awards at these restaurants.

The Doughboys like uniform squirts.

Give us uniform squirts.

Right, Wags?

Uniform squirts.

We want the uniform squirts.

Yes.

And this does not

have it.

And also

to get into the, there was one item that had arguably too much pickle.

a liquid item.

One too, a little too much squirt of pickle.

Yeah, we'll get to that.

But what did you think of those wings?

Because you're

I liked them quite a bit.

And I also think that Popeyes for fast food wings, I'm not even counting like fast casual, like

Wingstop and

even though Wingstop is fast food, basically, but Wingstop and Buffalo Wild Wings, I won't include in this.

And I think that Popeyes has good wings for fast food.

Like, I'm like, a place that has a drive-through and has wings that level, I can't think of many others that are, that are that good.

I'd rather just have their fried fried chicken.

But it was like,

if you want wings, the thing is, they are like breaded, and that makes them pretty heavy.

And it's not necessarily always like, to me, that's just like, oh, it's just the wing part of the fried chicken.

Just give me the, just give me a quick one.

But they are, they're pretty tasty.

They're good.

I think they're well fried.

And you, like, I know you like boneless over bone in.

I like bone in.

I thought they had good bone in wings, but what would you think of the boneless?

I just, look, I talk about how they're back east, there are good boneless, and everyone makes fun of me for that.

But they're like, when you come back,

can I just show you good boneless boneless wings?

Oh, fine, sure, whatever.

Whatever you want.

Why are you mad at that?

I'm not.

I just want to do it.

Let's go.

Let's do it.

Good boneless wings.

All right.

Fuck.

Yeah, where are we going?

We'll go to a place in Quincy.

Maybe we'll go to Follow House or something.

Okay.

But there are good boneless.

And like,

I do like, but I also do like wings.

I'm not like anti-wing.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah.

All right.

Tim, where do you stand?

Boneless, bone, and wings.

Either one.

Yeah.

You know what?

Honestly, that's the sane.

That's that's the same middle we need in this country right now.

Yeah, that is a dose of sanity.

They're both good.

It's more about how it's cooked, if it's you know, what rub, what the rub is, what the sauce is.

Like, you know, it's you're like, you can fuck up both.

Yeah, it's are you advocating for more centrists?

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, radical centrists.

That's what we need.

I'm the Pete Buddha judge of this.

I go on flagrant talking about this, and they're like, oh, wow, really?

No kidding.

Oh, okay.

Like, yeah, yes.

This didn't occur to you.

Jesus Christ.

This is propaganda, but not the shit you're regurgitating.

Oh, my God.

Podcasters are America's thinkers now.

Clips drive me fucking crazy.

Oh, I love it.

Like, oh, I just thought that was fact.

You did?

You fucking idiot.

That's what you thought was fact.

You ate that shit up.

Talk about getting fucking glazed.

Jesus Christ.

It's such a misinformation problem.

It's punching as fuck.

Anyway, sorry.

We can cut that out if you want.

No, no, I love it.

I love it.

And also.

Doughboys needs that energy more.

The fuck you talking about with pickle glasses?

People are like, they're so like, it's one thing to act hard.

If your brand is like, all I do is act hard and I punch down on people because they're weak or they're stupid or whatever.

That's what we want Doughboys to be.

Oh, that's what you want it to be.

That's what we want to be.

You want to be that.

Yeah, we want to be aspiring.

Yeah, we're aspiring.

He's pretty liquid.

What's crazy to me is that it's like, okay, fine.

That's your brand.

You can't be so easily disproven.

Yes.

You know, you can't be like,

I'm taking on the nerds.

You're like, well, then you can't be wrong all the time and easily disproven.

Yes.

You can't be hard and fucking stupid.

And I get if you're fucking stupid, that's your main option.

Right.

But man, you don't understand how dumb you look.

You don't look hard.

You don't look hard.

You look fucking stupid.

I love this.

I love it.

It's like

we're all paying the fucking price for this stupidity.

Yeah, sure.

And what do we get from it?

A couple dudes looking hard?

Who gives a fuck?

We're all worse because a couple dudes are like, I'm fucking hard.

Nobody gives a shit.

We're all suffering now because a couple dumbasses are like, I'm on fucking top, man.

You know, I'm fucking making it with my fucking fansly or, you know, my fucking Patreon or whatever the fuck, whatever the fuck it is.

Yeah.

Who gives a fuck?

All these people are misinformed now and you're like, I'm on top.

Yeah.

Of what?

A fucking mountain of stupidity?

I'll say this.

No one has ever accused the Doughboys of being hard

in many different ways.

They have.

I just, it's not in podcasts.

Cool doesn't exist.

It's a fucking social construct.

It's malleable.

It changes based on every situation.

You go around a bunch of band geeks.

They're making fun of jocks.

You go around a jocks.

They're making fun of band geeks.

Like, it doesn't fucking matter.

You're going to fucking die.

And the hill that you died on is like, I was hard, but wrong.

Right.

Fuck off.

I think.

Fuck off.

I think Joe Rogan is one of our most important thinkers.

I didn't mention any names.

I just want to put that out there that I think Joe Rogan is one of our most important thinkers.

What do you think of that?

I think that if you look at the, you're right, Tim, that if you look at the broad swath of time, that's the thing that gets it for me.

Cause, like, you could be the coolest guy in like 1920, and you're looking back at that guy, it's like, look at this fucking guy.

Yeah, fuck's he doing.

He was, he was wrong like 99.5% of his fucking life.

Yeah, sure.

But he lived in a cool way at the time.

And then in hindsight, it's like, this guy was a fucking loser.

Like, that's what you want.

Right.

Those are goals.

Yeah.

Okay.

Do you think there's any time I could go back to where I'd be the coolest guy?

Any

decade?

For sure.

Do you think so?

Yeah.

Prehistoric.

all these animals prehistoric decade

which is like picking leaves off a tree

i just get dunked on by some fucking caveman at some point i don't want to i don't i i don't i agree with you he just goes up and points and laughs at your dick

you're like god damn it next decade

next decade

We agree with you.

Joe Rogan is a piece of shit, of course.

I don't have to say that.

But also.

I'm not even trying to point that out because the influence of these networks are they're vast.

And sadly,

they are important, right?

Because

of the influence that they exert.

I'm just baffled that critical thinking is at such a low point that

you can't say like, hey, a year ago, I heard this thing and I took it for fact and then it turned out to be fucking wrong, but I keep listening to the thing that is consistently wrong.

Yeah.

And

I ascribe like a coolness or a valor to it, which means nothing and only keeps you misinformed.

Like that, to me, you don't have the capacity to stop that cycle in your life.

I have a name for it.

Why?

I mean, it's peer pressure.

You know, it's the same reason that like abusive people are all around and nobody denounces them.

It's because, you know what?

My fucking neighbor is an abusive piece of shit.

If I start spouting my mouth off about it, I'm going to get repercussions.

That's how abuse persists.

Your neighbor hears this podcast, like, hey, what the fuck?

Let him come from you.

If your neighbor's a piece of shit, I wouldn't be surprised if he's listening and watching this.

No, I guess.

Yeah, I have great neighbors.

No, yeah.

Oh, actually, no, no.

That's the weird part of the Venn diagram for Doughboys.

We're like, all my neighbors are pieces of shit, but they do listen to the show.

I call that culture, by the way.

You're not going to like this.

Let's fucking go culture.

That's like, it is, it reminds me of like Pat McAfee or like these guys who are like fucking you fuck let's fucking go dude it's like well you should before going you should sit down and think about it for a minute and what you're saying and what you're saying is wrong and dumb you know what I mean like all short-term adrenaline based you know yeah it's like just everyone's going till they crash it's crazy because I you know I got off of social media almost completely

a few years i mean man two or three years ago at this point and so i'm realizing how much of the stuff is just like a something i miss entirely outside of people telling me about it or i'm in a group text and someone posts a clip and I was like, what is this?

And the people are like, oh, this is some, this is some huge thing that I'm just completely aware of.

Cause it's like,

so much of this is coming via algorithms, right?

This is stuff that's just fed to you if you're just on these platforms.

Yeah.

And we're so deep into that that people not understanding that and being like, wait, I'm being manipulated is just irresponsible.

And it's also for many people, you know, it's a privilege that I am able to opt out because a lot of people is like, hey, either this is my job or I have to do this to have this platform to, you know, be able to get work or whatever, whatever the fuck, you know, it's like, it's,

yeah, it sucks.

It's a, it's a bad world.

Anyway, the Popeyes,

the Popeyes pickle glaze,

the Popeyes pickle glaze itself, I agree is pretty tasty.

I just don't know if it actually enhances any of these.

Like, I like, wouldn't I, wouldn't you rather just have all of these things just with a different sauce or with no sauce?

I don't know.

Here's a question for you.

What would that glaze enhance for you?

Like if you were dipping fries, if you were dipping fries in it.

So, no, it clearly didn't, it didn't do it for fried chicken.

What would you dump that on?

I think fried chicken is the best option.

And I think I just don't make disglays.

I think it's just not for me.

Maybe some people like pickles.

I was nicer to.

I do like pickles.

No, I don't even dislike it.

I'm just saying, like, anytime it's like you get an Oreo varietal, right?

And you're like, okay, I'm going to have the new, you know, Dill Oreo.

Yeah, the new Dill Oreo.

Pingle glazed Oreo.

Dingle glazed Oreo.

I think the green center.

I think the comparison point is always, do I prefer this to the default?

Or is the gimmick enough where it's just like, even if this is a one-off, I'm enjoying it?

And I'm not sure that's even really the case with either of these, right?

It's almost not quite gimmicky enough to be notable.

And it's also certainly not better than just like a regular Popeye's chicken sandwich or regular Popeye's wings.

So when it comes to gimmicks like that, you need a hard gimmick.

Like you need a Dave Matthews band Oreo.

Exactly, yes.

Hell yeah.

Brown, yellow, white,

or whatever.

Like each one is like, it's different.

It's like the brown's in the middle and the white and the yellow.

And so it's like come and face with shit in the middle.

You're down with this?

Yellow would represent golden Oreo.

White is the cream.

And then the brown Oreo,

this idea is

enticing to me.

What song from his catalog is playing over the commercial for this?

I mean, the worst part of it is.

I want to hear both.

Well, I don't know DMB's catalog particularly well.

I mean, too much would be a great song.

Which one's too much?

I eat too much.

That one.

Oh, yeah, that's too much.

But, you know, like,

that is even almost too much of a decup, even though that was, you know, that was a, that was one of us singles.

If you don't have one, I'll give you one.

Yeah, go for it.

You could take Crash.

Crash it.

Yeah.

Okay, which one's Crash?

Into me.

Oh, yeah, Crash.

Milk.

Crash.

Oh, yeah, you could do that.

Oh, so you're changing the lyrics.

Dunk into milk.

I think the funniest choice would be satellite.

I just think it'd be so funny.

That's good.

Satellite's one of the

satellite.

And then it's like, oh, you know,

it's kind

they're checking off.

And then it's all going into a bucket.

And like,

how I wonder.

And then they're pouring it into the Oreotines and everywhere.

These guys are disgusting.

Let me say this.

This is a fan right here.

I can feel it.

No, no, I just had that album.

It was one of my first 11 Columbia House albums.

It's a great, Under the Table and Dreaming is a great album.

And I'll tell you this.

Dave Matthews, not a guy who tries to be hard.

And also

fled South Africa Africa for because he didn't want to join the apartheid army and would stand up to the restaurants in South Africa.

And when they said, you know, when it when they were segregated, he would have his friends come in and sit on his lap in the restaurant.

He was Dave Matthews, is the man, the opposite of these fucking stupid podcasters that we have to deal with, who we are, two of, basically.

You guys are complicit.

Yeah, working very hard.

I can't wait for our trial.

I hope that we're both hung.

The caveman's not going to think so.

pointing.

This guy's not hungry enough.

This is also a scenario of hanging from a noose and my pants fall down.

It's like the most embarrassing thing in the fucking world.

Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, fuck.

Not like this.

The gallows breaks.

Oh.

Land on your butt.

You don't die.

What's worse is you don't die.

Everyone knows you have a small penis.

Wager's dead.

Wager's dead.

And you're not even mourning.

You're just like, oh, they all know.

They all know.

They saw my penis.

Oh, geez.

You're going to start.

If there's a noose around your neck, you're going to, by habit, start cranking it.

Worst case scenario for both of you guys.

You can't get hard.

Wager's super hard.

Oh, God.

Let me come before I die.

Fried pickles.

I thought the fried pickles were great.

I really liked them.

Do you want one last nut?

I guess that is, that's just what you made me think of.

Like, as you die?

Not as you die.

I mean, that's a crazy experience.

That's really.

I'm sure it's happened to people because it's like such a like.

Oh, yes.

You have heart attacks as you're nutting.

Yeah.

Carrotine.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

But, but there's the people are like, oh, what was it that?

Was it set up or whatever?

Yeah.

I know.

I think there's a lot of cases like that, which are people.

People who are doing that and then they pass away, sadly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But

would you want that?

It's too much of a sensation for me.

I think I would just rather die.

Just so much as it's contextual.

Like, I don't, how are we dying?

What kind of death are we talking about here?

Okay, that's fair enough.

I don't know.

Are we talking in a hospital bed or are we talking on a battlefield?

I mean, there's different things.

So one was where you would nut, and one is where you wouldn't nut.

Well, I don't know.

It just changes the calculation a little bit.

All right.

You know what?

I shouldn't even have gotten into this.

We'll just get rid of this entire conversation.

Like, am I being murdered?

Because you're definitely nutting.

The guy is strangling you or stabbing you.

They said at Gettysburg, Gettysburg Field was covered in combat.

And Lincoln, there's a ton of like scratched-out stuff in the Gettysburg Address.

It's just like,

shouldn't I?

Four score and seven loads ago?

No.

The Gettysburg Address is kept under glass because it's super sticky.

Like, if anyone touches it, it will stick to their hands like forever.

As he's reading it, he's like,

Yeah, would you, what's worse, would you come on a battlefield or in a hospital bed?

I think, well,

again, it depends on

surrounded by loved ones, you know, or is it like

either way by someone from the medical profession.

So I'm alone in either one.

Yeah.

Then I guess it probably doesn't matter.

Wow.

You've refused to answer.

I think both would be fine.

Oh, okay.

I'd rather die in a hospital bed, certainly, than be like shot to shit.

I don't think that you'll have died about friends at this point.

Yeah, I don't think, probably not.

Yeah, Yeah, yeah.

Unless things really go.

Conventional battlefield.

Yeah.

Conventional battlefield.

The fried pickles.

Yeah, the fried pickles.

Fried pickles are good.

Here's what they were great.

It comes with a, I thought that was actually the standout of this whole thing.

And I was like, they could have just added fried pickles and that could have been the, instead of leaning so hard into the gimmick.

Then again, we're probably not doing an episode about it if it's just that.

But the fried pickles as a one-off side were, I thought,

just like they were so crisp.

They were so, especially like them traveling over here.

I was like, this is just a really good execution of a classic app.

And they have that, the ranch dip and sauce is default, but they got so many dipping sauces there.

I love their blackened ranch.

And that's what I dipped these bad boys in.

And I was just having a ball.

They were so much better than I expected.

You know what I wish I had done?

I wish I'd put the fried pickles on the sandwich.

Oh, that would have been smart.

The fried pickles maybe could have just also been on the sandwich because that would have differentiated it from the regular sandwiches a little bit more.

And then if the glaze doesn't taste enough like pickles, you're like, oh, I don't know.

I'm tasting pickles anyway.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Here's the thing.

The pickle glaze, it's basically just dill flavor, right?

I mean, like, that's mostly what you're getting here is like a, it's maybe a little more.

But it had a little bit of spice to it.

It had a little, a small amount of burn.

It had, it also had a little bit of sweetness to it.

I don't know.

It was hard to place exactly.

Okay.

All right.

Fair enough.

I liked the, I liked the chicken.

I liked all the chicken fine.

I don't think it's the best sauce in the world, but I did not think it was bad.

And I don't think it's chemically, which is huge.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Which is, I think a lot of the times when you get something like this,

it is sciencey and not good.

Does anyone want to know how the glaze works chemically?

I was thinking about that earlier.

Let's talk about the pickle lemonade.

So I have, I mean, I'm holding this up to camera here.

You can see I have about nine-tenths of this left.

I've had very little of this to sip on.

It is.

I mean, I'll take another sip of it here.

Obviously, the ice has melted, so it's changed the composition of a little bit, but

it's so aggressively pickly in a way where I don't think I could drink a whole one of these unless I was like kind of like I had to for some reason.

I mean, it's not terrible, but it's just like you're drinking, you're just drinking sweetened pickle juice.

I will give them credit that it's the most authentic in that it tastes like they just dumped pickle juice into lemonade.

It really does.

And so I give them props for that.

And yeah, they went for it.

I guess if you're really looking for the pickle flavor, that's the one that nails it more than anything else.

For sure, yes.

It's a lot.

It is a lot.

I took three sips and I was like, what am I doing?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Again, if you were hungover, I think it would be pretty good.

It needs to be a little bit more sweet.

There's just, and I wonder if the frozen one is a little bit more sweet or maybe it just tastes the same thing, but frozen.

It could be.

I mean, it's a pretty intense flavor and the aftertaste really lingers.

Would it work with like alcohol, like a pickleback?

I think it's a pickleback, yeah.

But

we're talking about pickleback, what are you doing?

You're basically doing another shot.

I got a shot of whiskey with a shot of pickle juice, but I'm curious if you made that like a cocktail somehow.

I think they could maybe work, yeah.

Is there a whiskey lemonade cocktail?

Is that called something?

Probably.

We used to make dirty Arnold Palmer's with like

a lemonade and a sweet tea vodka, something like that.

So yeah, you could put like maybe like a sweet tea in there.

Emma was a bartender for a while.

Something like that.

Wow.

Oh, nice.

I was just like, pickle and alcohol tends to go well together.

So it feels like sweet, pickle, chaser.

Did you work your place in town?

No, back in Boston.

So you know it i uh i actually don't know where mass have tavern which is now closed it was like a sports bar on the corner of mass have a newberry street okay uh and then the salty pick which is still there it's on dartmouth street right across from back bay station um did you guys see the you know how you're talking about new um

well what are you doing what are you setting up here you're just talking about how like the new like they're like they change the mascots all the time uh-huh you see the new hugo the hornet and no i didn't for the the charlotte hornets it's just crazy

They got him jacking off.

Did you just draw that?

What did you do?

Did you just draw a picture of the Charlotte Hornets mascot jacking off?

You think I drew it in the time that

Rule 34, Charlotte Hornet.

It was a thing I meant to do earlier.

I forgot to do it.

I wanted to do it.

And so I did it.

You want to see every NBA mascot jacking off?

I mean,

that is also fun.

but I look, I'm tired today, all right?

What do you want from me?

You're thriving, fuck, fuck you, I guess

you're breaking shit.

You're gonna cut yourself.

No, it's not sharp.

It's not, it's very, it's actually very uh the edges are sharp.

It's actually sharp.

It's actually very not sharp.

It's very, it's very, actually blunt.

Uh, it's very blunt.

Okay.

Um, uh, actually, it is kind of sharp.

Um,

you just leave it.

Mitch is for our audio listeners, Mitch disassembled his microphone arm and Tim is helping him reinstall it.

I shouldn't have looked up Hugo the Hornet Rule 34.

No, I think that was a good use of our time.

I think that the pickle lemonade was,

I'd rather have like a if we're going to go for this sort of direction, what is a pickle but a pickled cucumber, I'd rather just have like more of a cucumber sort of treatment.

And it's true for cocktails, too.

It's like the sourness of pickle, I like in certain contexts.

Emma, I do like a pickleback.

I've had that before and I think that is a lot of fun.

But I, but like, again, a whole pickle cocktail, that to me seems overwhelming.

I'd rather be boring in Kuketown.

Cuketown, speaking of, this might be controversial.

My favorite Gatorade flavor?

Lime, cucumber.

Wow.

You'd rather be in Kuketown than

you'd rather be in Kuketown than Pickletown?

I think so.

For a beverage, for a drink?

Yeah.

You like this more than like a cucumber lemonade?

Cucumber is just, I don't know.

You don't like a cucumber cocktail?

I don't like a cucumber cocktail.

Oh, wow, interesting.

I don't know.

Cucumber lemonade or cucumber lime.

Is that what it is?

Yeah.

That's your favorite.

Yeah, I don't know why no it's a good flavor I love it.

I like it.

It's also that's my hangover helper right there.

Sure.

Okay.

Yeah, that makes sense.

I mean like I think pickle also is is helpful with the Gatorade cucumber lime is your

that's your that's my go-to.

Yeah.

Wow.

Okay.

I know.

Deus, did you try the pickle lemonade?

I didn't.

I'm kind of scared.

Yeah, you don't have to.

No, no pressure.

I

like this is a thing that I'm glad we got it to be comprehensive.

And I do, again, in terms of the gimmick, this and the fried pickles are really delivering, whereas I think the other, the chicken items are under-delivering, but I don't

think it's particularly pleasant to drink.

I agree.

I think it's a swing and a miss.

But

if you're a pickle fanatic, I think that you would like it.

It feels weird to add something salty to what is notoriously a very sweet drink.

Like lemonade is super, super sweet usually.

So adding salt feels off.

I agree, though.

If you're a pickle freak, like you'd probably go nuts for that.

Yeah.

I just don't think that's a critical mass of people to justify ever keeping that on i yeah but we're gonna have it till june because of the playoffs that that's true i wonder if they're gonna keep it going through all the playoffs because again i i it seemed like it was just gonna be an april thing but it's it's had long it had a long tail have they put up ads with like anthony edwards like sipping on it and being like get your pickle freak on or

they should it's been very it's it's it like a lot of places it don't have all the items it feels like a half campaign it feels like a lot of people can't get what they're advertising.

But again, we were able to get everything.

And I, you know, I was using the app, and the app had

the app just had the sandwich and the pickle lemonade.

That was all you could order directly.

However, if you went and ordered wings, you could specify the pickle glaze among the wing options.

And then, like, as you said earlier, if you go into the store, you, they will sell you the fried pickles at certain locations.

So I think it's just like kind of locational dependent.

Can I just tell you something?

Yeah.

The Hugo the Hornet Rule 34 came back with only that one one picture.

That's it.

Benny the Bull.

There are so many Rule 34 pictures.

I would imagine.

Much more iconic mascot.

Yeah, yeah.

Do you want to see this one?

Yeah.

Is he jacking off?

He is jacking off.

Yes.

Jesus, that's disturbing.

Shooting a little load there.

That's a big load.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Can we see?

That's a rope.

Yeah.

We probably can't show it on you.

No, no, no.

Not on.

No, he's shooting like a crazy rope.

Would you be okay?

It is a crazy.

This is a crazy rope.

Is this a different one?

This is a different one would you be you're talking about mascots being remade would you be okay if this was the new benny the bull okay so this one is not this week in show this is pg13 he's wearing basketball shorts you do see some of his pubes he's pretty buff yeah i guess we're seeing a little i think with the nba they at least they

but it's fur yeah it's fur but it's also like he's clearly trimmed He's trimmed above and below.

Yes, he's left a little.

It's like a pube mustache.

Okay, sure.

Stylized.

It's a stylized.

Is it the same guy as before and then you can see his hog going down the left leg of his short yeah it's pretty substantial it's it's it's as big as his fucking thighs yeah should i search uh jemmy doboys rule 34 no mitch

for the love of god no what's wrong with you no but i'm terrified if i don't do that

don't even say that what do you mean don't even say it i didn't make it that if someone makes that because i said it that's on them that's not on me will you search uh philly's fanatic philly's fanatic 100 i will see i think this this one right here actually i think could be but if they have obviously have to shave the pubes and maybe take in the shake groin a little bit uh but i think that this could almost be a mascot they could do a hot version of benny the bull if they wanted to but it's also these things are for children right yeah like it's not this isn't for the adult furry community which which is thriving and and god bless them but i mean like this is uh that that's not the purpose of a sports mascot i'd say like this should be for like all the g-league mascots should be like this horny that's a good idea honestly if they pander to furries with a g-league G-League specifically, you beta test them in the G-League.

Rule 34, Philly Fanatic.

There are hits.

I'll say that.

There are hits.

There's just

okay.

There is one hit.

Basically, this is almost like the Charlotte Hornet.

Hugo the Hornet.

There have got to be more than this because the Philly Fanatic is well known.

I'm sure more people are doing that.

Did you search PH AN?

Yes, yes.

Yes, of course I did.

I don't know.

There's this one.

It's just the Philly Fanatic has one tit out, basically.

There is just a one tit.

I guess we're not not really sure what the Philly Fanatic's anatomy is, so I guess that's a fair guess as to what's going on under there.

I have a feeling this is going to, maybe for a few hours, like temporarily ruin my household.

I'm just walking from one room into another and showing Lily

another room at 34

until she tells me to stop.

Okay.

There's a second.

All right.

Oh, yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

There's a second hit.

Okay.

And I'll just say this.

The film fanatic is on a floor, and it looks like, I don't know who the mascot is that he's like has his little tongue, his little tongue coming out of his nose is licking the balls of this one guy.

Got it.

But also, the hamburgler is licking that guy's foot.

Okay.

And then you know who's sucking off the hamburgler?

Grimms.

Bugs Bunny.

Bugs Bunny, okay.

And then you know who's sucking off Bugs Bunny?

Now this is taken over to a couch.

Do you know who's sucking off Bugs Bunny?

Well, so now we've got to really think about, okay, because because each one is really disconnected to the previous one.

Someone's sucking off Bugs Bunny here.

What does your head say?

What does your heart say?

The first thing that came in my head was Spongebob.

SpongeBob's pretty good guess.

I was going to guess Stitch.

Pretty good.

I think you should think in the area of Bugs Bunny.

So another Looney Tunes character?

Elmer Fudd.

A classic.

Oh, a classic.

Felix the Cat.

That's right, Emilia.

I knew you did it.

Mickey.

Mickey is so bad.

I've seen enough of this shit to know.

Kid Mark IV.

And guess who's jacking off Mickey?

Goofy.

Close.

Kermit.

Kermit.

So each one is from a different universe.

This is like the crossover of crossover.

Meanwhile, on the top of the couch.

Ultimate Orgy.

Meanwhile, on the top of the couch, Pac-Man is getting railed by who?

Pac-Man?

Yeah.

Is it another video game character?

Yes.

Captain America.

Good guess.

But it's another video game character specifically.

Yes.

Okay.

So is it Sonic the Hedgehog?

Nope.

Meg Man.

Okay.

The big Mario?

It's Mario.

It is Mario.

Okay.

here it is.

You can see that I'm not lying.

That is exactly what's happening.

Yeah, so okay, but wait, where's the Philly Fanatic?

The Philly Fanatics over here in the over here in the corner.

I don't know who that bug is that he uh kind of crazy that Philly Fanatic slid into this group.

Yeah, I guess if they're just kind of like who is the most iconic sports mascot, I can kind of understand sports mascot, food mascot, and then we've got just a bunch of like the cartoon A-listers.

There was also a health thing that said my heart rate was raising.

it's kind of just a weird coincidence.

The phone's tracking you, and it's going to be like, here's the one that like made your heart race the most: the Kermit fucking Mickey.

We got a couple of other, or a handful of other items that are just evergreen.

We got the red beans and rice, which is one of my favorite fast food sides.

I thought that was great today.

The mac and cheese and the mashed potatoes.

I don't necessarily love their mashed potatoes.

I think they're very functional.

I think their mac and cheese was pretty solid today.

And then the other LTO they have right now is the strawberry biscuits, which they have periodically, but we've never reviewed them on the podcast.

This is a little sweet, a little salty, and then it's got a strawberry bits inside and a creamy icy, creamy icing on top.

I mean, I like the strawberry biscuit.

I like it too.

I think I like just a regular biscuit.

I'd rather have a regular biscuit, but as a sweet treat, it's fun.

Yeah, it was good.

And also, like, the icing, not too much.

It doesn't cover the whole thing.

Just a bit of Dave Matthews icing on there.

Yeah.

I'm going to say this too, by the way.

There is Rule 34 NBA, I have found, so there is just like uh NBA, yes, there is like the logo, uh,

but the shadow

there's like the Milwaukee Buck is like showing its like button, sure, yeah, stuff like that.

There is, there's just, there's one,

yeah, yeah, there, yeah, there.

I just realized that there's a little more going on down there.

Uh, there, there's just a MBA category.

I do love that classic Bucks logo that was now they have the fear of the deer, it's like kind of aggro, but there was a time in it when it was just a little bit more wholesome.

It's fun, yeah, it feels very like almost like Jetson's animation, right?

Right, style, yeah.

There's some good stuff in there.

I always wore that hat too.

Oh, wow, because it was close to the green.

I have a Dallas Maverick

on a Milwaukee Bucks one that is just like everything else.

It just

we're in tomorrow land future, like we were saying recently, of like just a shitty, glossy,

there's no flavor, you know what I mean?

It's all gone, but there was a lot of, there was almost arguably too much flavor in all of these items.

We should get to our final thoughts.

So, Tim, if you know the podcast before, you know how this works, we'll each go around and give our closing argument on Popeyes and end by giving it a score from zero to five forks.

You can talk about the pickle menu.

We can also talk about Popeyes in general.

Tim Baltz, our guest, will start with you.

I am a big fan of Popeyes.

Yeah.

There was a Popeyes in my hometown growing up, so no stranger to it.

I also think the chicken sandwich, kind of revolutionary, set a pretty high bar that other fast food chains have tried to reach.

100%.

Some successful, some not so.

So in general, I like it.

I like the boneless wings probably from there about as much as any other fast food play.

So I agree with Mitch on that.

I'd say the pickle glaze, at least it wasn't chemical.

So I support the swing, I guess, because there might be pickle freaks out there.

It's like catering to a fetish

in a way.

So I don't want to downgrade it and shade any fetishists.

Yeah, like if you want to jack off to the Philly fanatic, like there's you know that that exists for you, it exists for you, yes.

Yeah, it seemed like that was it, it seemed like those were pictures on Mitch's phone, not the website.

Yeah, that was just his camera roll he was going through.

You're down to the wrong guy because you have a saved photo album that is very funny.

Wait, I do, you, you, you always will send stuff that

you have like you have certain saved photos that you'll send stuff to.

I do have some funny saved photos here.

You maybe sound like I I was lying.

I freaking out what you're talking about.

So I would, like, out of respect for the pickle freaks, I'm going to give it three out of five for

because it didn't ruin the Popeyes.

Yeah.

It was just a bit mystifying as to why they would do this.

And also got to keep it at three because it's about the NBA playoffs, and I got to support my league.

What if we're just...

I just want to say, do you remember what your foam background was for a moment, your lock screen?

It might still wait.

It still is.

It still is, I think.

Oh, Ghelaine Maxwell at Mindy Kaling's book party.

I shall not be shamed.

I shall not be shamed for the photos in my.

Yeah.

My favorite is when people catch it like over the shoulder and they're like, is that?

What is that?

Happened at TSA once.

Yeah, exactly.

She wrote, and she's doing well, by the way.

Ghalain.

She said she emailed the feedback.

i heard she wrote on running point um from jail oh that's wonderful

three three out of five forks for the pickle glaze what if you were just going to evaluate popeyes based off of your like like in general would you also go three out of five what no no no i'd i'd give popeyes like it's hard to think of a chicken fast food chicken place that i'd rank higher yeah so i

man yeah i guess i'd go

I'd go five out of five.

Wow.

Okay.

Yeah, I love Popeyes.

But three out of five for the pickle menu.

Mitch, what do you think?

I think that's a good...

I think I go a little higher than you guys.

I'd say I liked the chicken sandwich.

I wouldn't get it.

I think I would just get either the spicy one or the regular one next time.

I'm going to go for the pickle menu, three and a half forks.

And for

the for Popeyes itself, I'll still go five forks.

I like fucking five.

All right.

Yeah, I'm fine.

Yeah, yeah, no, everything's fine.

Wow, you think something seems weird?

I like fuck it.

I like fuck it.

I like Popeyes.

Why, because a long time ago, I said, begun the chicken wars have, or whatever.

I quoted Yoda.

That's right.

And they are now,

they're now, the chicken wars are now kind of over.

Can we say this now?

I mean, like.

Yeah, I mean, like, look, like, like, as Tim was saying, there was a long pull out of the chicken wars.

It was like once they introduced the Popeyes chicken sandwich.

Yeah.

Yeah, Mitch, it was.

You're right.

You're fair to compare it to the withdrawal from Afghanistan.

Similar to the, it is similar to Stork Island.

It just, it just, you know, like, things weren't going right for a lot of these places that like Burger King and all and the Burger King introduced the Chiking.

Jack in the Box, which is now closing a bunch of locations, possibly selling off the Del Taco brand.

Oh, my God.

They are, you know, Chain Rescue.

They had their, we might need to do Chain Rescue for Jack in the Box.

They had their own upscale chicken sandwich.

McDonald's as a version of it.

Wendy's has had chicken sandwiches as part of their menu for a long time, but they had like a revamped version of it.

It's like everyone was trying to compete for what Popeyes was doing.

What Popeyes was doing was trying to iterate upon what chick-fil-a had established yeah and we've you're right we've reached the point where that kind of all of those kind of collapsed and people are don't have the curiosity of just trying everyone's version of the popeyes chicken sandwich simulac and i would say popeyes won popeyes won yeah

i think we can declare the victor of the chicken wars well and also chick-fil-a is still so ubiquitous chick-fil-a is like i think in terms of of per-store revenue is like honestly they never even really got in the chicken wars the chicken wars were fought oh no i mean like look i guess that you know what i guess Chick-fil-A was in the position where they could kind of sit out the chicken wars because they were kind of doing their whole thing and they had their established fan base.

Yes, yeah.

And that, and, and, and Popeyes just always has good quality.

Oh, God, I just saw the things that we're going to have in a second.

Um,

something that's like so unnatural, it catches your eye.

Yeah, um, I like that you were just looking at a bunch of cartoon porno, and then what we're

like, oh, God,

something they were going to put into our bodies.

Um,

The Popeyes

has won the fast food chicken wars.

I'll leave Chick-fil-A out of that or whatever.

I don't even like Chick-fil-A that much, so

I don't care about Chick-fil-A.

But

they're going to try new stuff.

They're going to get people back in there.

And I think I appreciate the attempt, but I don't think that this is anything worthwhile.

If you're a pickle freak, you're going to like it.

Let me close this tab of Colonel Sanders Rule 34.

it didn't really pay off.

Uh, what the Colonel Sanders Rule 34?

No, yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't exactly.

I mean, you could look for it.

It wasn't as they're a Dave Matthews man.

Strawberry,

everything that's a staple of their menu, I thought the all the sides were good.

I like those large, or I, we got a large size, but I like the red beans and rice quite a bit.

Strawberry biscuits, I thought, were a lot of fun.

Fried pickles were great.

Pickle lemonade, not for me, but at least it delivers on the promise of the premise.

As far as Popeyes goes.

I kind of like the Colonel Centers for 34.

At large.

Him and the Burger King.

Jeez Louise.

They're both ripped.

Yeah.

The

Our buddy, I'm going to handle the club

with our guests as far as Popeyes at large.

I go five forks for Popeyes.

I I love Popeyes.

It's just a, it's, to me, it's, that's one of the, the, the best chain restaurants out there.

And just as far as fried chicken goes, I mean, I don't think you can do any better for a national chain.

As far as this particular menu, I'll be in the hand-holding club with our friend who joined us for this meal, the commissioner Evan Susser.

Wow.

I got to watch Susser meet balls.

What a moment that was.

Well, he never, you never met Suss.

No, no.

How about that?

It was great.

It was awesome.

Lovely.

Yeah, great guy.

Yeah.

Texted at 4 a.m.

last night to say, I'll have the chicken sandwich.

You notice that?

A 4 a.m.

text from Susser.

I think he must have woken up in a cold sweat.

He didn't wake up thinking about chicken.

There must have been some second sense there or, you know, sixth sense there that something was happening.

It is a,

but, you know, anyway, Susser,

in terms of evaluating this menu, I think he, he said a lot of the same stuff that we're saying on this podcast, and he landed at three and a half forks.

And I think that's what the pickle menu approximately deserves.

I just, I think it's actually slightly better than you'd expect, but it doesn't go all the way.

And so that's, that's where I think it landed three and forks.

It just is funny when Susser comes and he eats this stuff and then he's mad about it.

And it's like, you came to get the free food.

Yes.

And then you seem mad at us.

You had a free meal.

You had a free meal.

And then you also like, we're not a part of the show.

Like you just, you just showed up to eat.

Yeah, 100%.

And then he's mad.

And then he's mad at him.

He's mad.

And then he's like,

I didn't like it.

And you're like, well,

sorry.

What the fuck?

You cost us an extra like 20 bucks.

Anyway, we love them.

We love them.

Yeah, I think.

Hey, that was a review of Popeye's Pickle Menu.

It's time for a segment.

I got a beverage and we're going to decide if you just bore it down your throat.

It's Dranker Stank.

And we have these Skittles.

bottle drinks.

These were originally released in 2024.

We have not had them on the podcast.

There are, I believe, four flavors.

We have three of them.

There is original.

Original might be the one we don't have.

Yeah, actually.

Yeah.

So we have.

I'll say, Alex, I was going to say we have tropical.

Yeah.

There is no Commissioner Salsa Rule 34.

I just looked.

We have Wildberry.

You wanted to see it?

Yeah, that's your friend.

And we have, and we have sour.

Those are the three flavors.

Wildberry is purple, kind of a hazy purple.

This is kind of like almost like a gray sort of

fog quality to it.

And then a very vibrant blue for the tropical and a neon green for the sour.

There was no red.

We never had a a red.

Not where we found these ones.

And where did you find these?

We found them in the

in San Francisco when we were going to different comedian stores and grocery stores to find distilled water for my CPAP machine.

This is what you were driving around the way as always here.

This makes it sound like I was like bringing you guys on a terrible,

we were looking for my distilled water, and then we found the distilled water and these across the street from the street from the hotel.

We went on an entire Waymo journey we didn't have to go on, but we had a blast doing it.

And you didn't think to put some of this in your CPAP machine?

Honestly, we had wild dreams.

It would be great.

I'm going to propose we start with the tropical because I feel like this is the closest to a neutral.

Oh my God, 31 grams of sugar, 62% of your daily allocation in one of these cups.

Amelia got you guys cups, and then we got a dump cup in case you don't end up wanting to drink everything you pour in your cup.

I'm just going to pour myself a little bit.

I'll let everyone handle their own cups.

I'm going to pour the dump cup off the Chicago River when we're done.

I wonder what color it'll make if you mix all three of those in one cup.

That's a great question.

This is very much like barber fluid for our audio listeners, like that color.

Yeah, it looks kind of like what I put in my car to wash my windshield.

It is.

It is like wiper fluid.

This is a little kid's dream.

I'll say that much.

This is like a.

Boy, I don't know about this.

This tastes like medicine.

Yeah.

Medicine.

Interesting.

This straight up tastes like something you'd take if you had a cough.

Where do you stand on?

It's making me feel pretty good.

I'm getting over a sinus infection.

Where do you stand on Skittles in general?

I used to love them.

Yeah, I liked them as a kid a lot.

Love them.

Like

no bad color.

That's what I got excited about with Skittles.

Obviously, I'd separate them all because, you know,

I was like, I was at.

I was nice with it.

But yeah, I loved them.

I was always worried.

I've never had a cavity.

I was always worried they would give me cavities.

So I think I moved away from them the older I got.

Sure.

Yeah, they're a cavity treat, I feel like.

I do think you take the Skittles.

The aftertaste tastes like Skittles a little bit to me.

You taste the rainbow a little bit.

I think that it is very medicine-y, though.

Like, that's definitely what the kind of quality I got from it.

I'm going to pour some of the sour.

This is kind of like an ecto-cooler quality for our audio listeners in terms of color.

Sour.

This one scares me.

Yeah, I don't know if I want a sour beverage.

Yeah, just.

I'm also old enough to remember when there was just one kind of Skittle and they were just like, hey, you know what?

We're doing a bunch of different Skittles.

There was just one kind.

No, there was just just the red Skittles.

Oh, I thought you meant like you were old enough that it was like, it was all yellow.

I was like, Jesus Christ.

Really, really funny old man candy, just lemon Skittles.

Yeah, they just had the red ones for a long time.

They just had the regular Skittles, the default bag.

This one sucks.

You hate this one?

Yeah, yeah.

I like this one.

Oh, my God.

This to me is better than the blue.

Really?

Yeah.

I'm not dumping this.

I like it.

I'm trying to think of what this reminds me of exactly.

First taste of this one tastes so weird.

And then, and then it does, the aftertaste isn't bad.

It's kind of citrusy.

Yeah, what's the sour?

Is it sour, like sour candy, or sour, like, yeah, lemon sour?

Oh, my God.

It's not sour.

It's not super sour.

Yeah, I don't know.

It kind of reminds me of like a tangerine juice almost.

You're mixing them?

I want to see what the end result is.

What it looks like.

And it does look kind of crazy right now, actually.

Yeah, it's very

tropical blue kind of.

Wait, does the Deus deus want to taste any of these?

I'm okay.

Okay.

The colors are so unnatural.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know why I like that.

It is.

This is like when you're getting a colonoscopy, this is like the type of stuff you drink to like see inside your body, basically.

Colors, yeah.

Color-wise, for sure.

Mitch, me and our, I've said this on the podcast before, me and our, our buddy Denny Jelinek, a great director, past Doughboys guest.

Great guy.

have made a couple Skittles ads years ago.

And the thing I learned from the Skittles internal documents is because they're so as we're pouring this cloudy

nasty cloudy purple wildberry right now.

The thing I learned from their internal Skittles branding documents, because these brands are so like strict about there's no such thing as a Skittle, Skittles is the brand.

There's an individual Skittles candy, but the terminology they use is Skittles lentil.

Yes, he has a lot of fun.

So each individual Skittles piece is called a Skittles lentil, according to their company.

It looks nice.

This looks nice,

but I'm gonna, I'm gonna pour the purple.

What the fuck is this supposed to taste like?

This is fucking awful.

Is that the wild berry one?

Yeah, did this go bad?

Maybe it won't be bad.

Maybe is there an inspiration date on it?

Smells like shit.

Smells like an old dusty closet.

It does taste like dust.

Ew.

Like the color, the color it has, right?

It actually looks like dust.

It looks like a dusty water.

Yeah, it looks like dirty, like dishwashing, you know, soap.

Like

so you wash your dishes in this.

Looks like a sample.

Oh, wild berry duck.

Wait, what did you say?

Looks like a sample.

Is there an expiration date on that bottle, man?

Yes, and it's rubbed out.

Oh, good.

And it says, but it is 25.

So it is this year.

Okay.

There are two more expiration dates

on the bottle.

They might be also rubbed out.

This is one of the worst things I've had for the show this year.

This is really bad.

Yeah.

I fucking hate this.

By the way, this was April 2025.

Okay, so we're we're

barely in the clear, I guess.

So maybe that purple one is a little older.

Maybe it is bad.

Yeah.

The mixed one tastes good.

I was wondering.

You want to try it?

I'll do it.

That was almost the color of your shirt, actually, now.

Yeah, it is.

The green and blue.

Why can't I have yours?

It seems like you have the problem.

I'm getting over.

I've been on antibiotics for 72 hours.

You had the golden ratio, it seems like you hit on.

So let's see how this works out.

That ain't bad.

I'm telling you, you should do a

mix just to see what you think.

But I think this might also be the unique alchemy that you stumbled upon by having like two parts blue,

one part purple, and like one and a half parts green.

I don't think you intentionally created this.

I guess you could try to match the color.

I think that's pretty.

It's pretty close.

Pretty close.

Pretty close.

Tim is taking a sip.

It's literally the same color as Tim's shirt, the stripes.

Wow, it is.

Yeah, that's the best flavor.

Yeah.

Mix them all together.

It's the best flavor.

I think, you know why?

Because it tastes when you eat Skittles, a lot of people, do you just eat them all at once?

Yeah.

Wow, Mitch.

This is a great insight.

And maybe that's what it is.

You're getting the Skittles experience.

Yeah, I think that's exactly it.

I would give the green a mild drink.

I'd give the other two stanks, hard stank to the wild berry.

But the mix, I think, is a solid drink.

I give a big old drank to the green one.

Yeah, green one's good.

I think stank to the huge stank to the purple.

Blue is like a light drank for

blue and green are a light drink, but I like the blue more than the green, but they're both barely in a drink.

Honestly, they should be stanks.

They suck.

They're bad.

They're bad.

They're bad, but good job crafting that cocktail.

Hey, just like a restaurant value, your feedback goes over to the feedback.

Today's email is from Kyle.

Kyle writes, Mitch mentioned on a recent episode that he was treated at Boston Children's Hospital as a child.

I work at said hospital.

Wow, thank you for your service.

And I'm often listening to podcasts at my desk with this show being a recent addition.

I thought Mitch would be glad to know that we have a Regina pizzeria in the cafeteria and the two-slice combo is the best lunch value available.

Wow.

As someone not originally from Boston, I was delighted to find Regina's as a good buy-the-slice option and quickly deemed it, quote, sbarrow if it didn't suck shit.

My question for the group.

I like that.

When you are watching cartoons, what cartoon food looks the tastiest?

I can't decide between the gooey cheese stretch when a ninja turtle pulls a slice off or the towering deli sandwich that Shaggy unhinges his jaw to eat in one bite.

Thanks for the laughs and new fans become one of my new favorite shows.

Your Beantown buddy, Kyle.

Favorite cartoon food.

Thank you for your service, Kyle.

That's the Boston Children's Hospital, a great hospital.

Yeah.

Also, there's Reginas are the quality of place to place it can be, it can be up and down.

So

don't the ninja turtles put like weird shit on the pizza too?

They do, but there's a point, there are times when they're just like stretching the pizza.

I get exactly what the image they're talking about, and it's got like it's like a super cheesy pizza, and it does look like a very toothsome slice.

I always think about little did he know that we would be really looking at cartoons today.

It's true, I do

Rule 34 Ninja Turtles.

There's gonna be a lot of Rule 34 Ninja Turtles, but and I will, I'll take a look at it.

Did you ever see the animated

this weird like Harvard project from like 2004?

The animated Ninja Turtles Turtles porno?

No.

Oh my god.

This is a Harvard project?

I didn't know that.

Like someone, some friend, when I was touring in Second City, some friend had it on their phone and they showed it and we're like, this, what the fuck is this?

Like, what did I just watch?

Like, this is awful.

It's crazy.

And at the end, like,

like, Krang is sucking off Donatello.

It's kind of nuts.

Yeah.

And, um,

and then this guy, like, is jerking off.

It turns out it's all a video and that newsman, April's, like, camera guy is, like, jerking off.

And then he shoots his load on himself but it's radioactive and he turns into a big penis with a hand where his cock was oh right

i have seen this and then like a couple years ago i'm like i'm haunted by this and i and it comes up in conversation i go try to find it and instead of finding it i find an article from like the harvard crimson or whatever describing the project that this guy did in class and just like veered off into left field and made this porno and his professor was like okay

a

Everyone at Harvard just gets A's.

Yeah, sure.

So I actually know the origin about it.

Yeah.

It's insane.

And that's like the guy who invented Uber.

Yeah.

Probably.

Yeah.

There's a lot of Ninja Turtle.

There's a lot of women in the Ninja Turtle world that I don't know.

Yeah, that's one of the things with the Rule 34.

It sometimes skews towards the male gaze and all of a sudden it's like, well, this, you know, whatever.

I'm looking for a Ninja Turtle porno.

I'm not looking for April O'Neill porno, but that's what the, you know, whatever the, the, the fan base tends to glom onto that.

Let me tell you this.

Not Benny the Bull.

That's, that's for, that's for the end,

I don't know, androgynous gaze.

Yeah, sure.

Anyone's gaze.

The very jacked April O'Neill here.

Okay.

Now we're talking.

But there's also a very...

Too jacked.

Why they made her head so small?

Her head should have gotten the same size of her body.

There's also an anatomically correct ninja turtle penis.

I don't want to show this to the camera.

Yeah, so that's the whole thing.

That's color and everything you showed on this.

The reptilian

anatomy is not quite, doesn't quite resemble human anatomy one-to-one.

So if you're going to,

if you see a realistic depiction of it, it can look a little unnerving.

A lot of good stuff in there, though.

Yeah.

Yeah, a lot of good stuff in there.

Best cartoon food.

Look, the Big Deli sandwich did make me think of, I know this is not a cartoon, but this is a comic strip.

Not that

I'm too, you know, like Dagwood and Blondie were not really my generation, but that was a comic strip that was in the Zeitgeist that I was aware of.

And I knew that Dagwood would make a big tall sandwich.

And I always wanted to have one of those impossibly tall sandwiches.

They always look good as shit.

So that's where my mind goes to.

But

the other thing this makes me think of is we were talking about video games earlier and certainly not Mega Man where you get, you know, you have like power capsules that restore your health, but you know, like adjacent franchises like Konami's Castlevania, you would find a wall chicken or a floor chicken.

It would just be like a whole rotisserie bird and it would install, like, you know, reinstate your health bar.

Those always looked really good to me.

And that was always like, oh, I want to just find like a big meat and a big hunk of meat in a barrel.

And then

I have more energy to go about my day.

I like this.

I have an answer.

Yeah.

Cheesy poofs.

Cartman can't be wrong.

Yeah, those cheesy poofs.

They're pretty good.

How about you?

They're really good.

Carmen's, Cartman's, like, I feel like Cartman has similar tastes to me.

Yeah.

So I think cheesy poofs would be really good.

Man, I can't think of a single thing outside of Chippendale Rescue Rangers for some reason.

I don't know why.

I'm just thinking of like the big cheese that that that

big mouse always eats.

Oh, yeah.

Or the acorns.

I got some stuff here.

The extra gooey pizza.

They said the Ninja Turtles pizza, but they also showed the pizza from the goofy movie, a goofy movie.

Sure.

I always thought animated eggs, like fried eggs, always like animated breakfast always looks really appealing for some reason.

Like a good sunny side-up egg or something.

It always looks really pretty.

How about that feast and that Studio Ghibli movie where they turn into pigs?

Yeah, I was going to say is like, is like when we're talking about cartoons, we're all talking about like Western cartoons, but certainly if you open up to anime, there's such

gorgeously drawn anime food and

all the Ghibli movies.

You're thinking to Spirited Away.

Spirit Away.

Spirit has some really, some really good-looking food, but there was some good-looking food in A Boy in the Heron, too.

I mean, like, you know, a lot of these movies have some good-looking food.

Would you like to try the ratatouille from Ratatouille?

Yeah, I guess I would.

Yeah, I don't know.

It's made by a mouse.

Does that bother you?

I mean, that's the whole question of the movie.

It looks really good, and that was one where

it was the French laundry chef who helped design that dish, right?

Oh, right.

You know what I would go for just because it's kind of comfort food?

Would be the marmalade sandwich from Paddington.

Oh, yeah, sure.

That's good.

That's good.

Really good.

Also, Garfield's lasagna.

Pretty good.

I haven't been to the French Laundry since I went with Gavin

during the pandemic.

We, of course, had the Gavin DeGraw?

Me and Gavin Newsome went during the pandemic to French together.

Unbelievable.

There was the.

They did add the Wendy's Krabby Patty, and that was like...

kind of disappointing.

It did not really deliver in terms of what you want from like the SpongeBob Krabby Patty, but it did make me think of the, you know, a classic cartoon, but the big-ass ribs that you get from the Flintstones.

Remember that big ass rib and they tip the car over?

The tip car over.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, actually, there's this French cartoon called Asteriques.

I don't know if you know it at all.

And they are always like hunting boar.

Okay.

And then they would have these huge feasts where they would like spit roast the boar over an open flame.

Like, oh, man,

it always looks so good.

That sounds good.

And the characters are always like, you know, they're like drooling over it.

And one of them's obsessed with it.

And as a kid, I was always, I was like, damn, that looks really good.

Can we have boar?

And my mom would be like, no,

it's not a thing.

It's a cartoon.

I remember when you were on previously, you talked about, it was living in France, right?

When you were in college?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I did a semester abroad there and I played college basketball.

Right, right.

Yeah.

Which was cool as hell.

Which was crazy.

It was nuts.

And my hair was down to here.

Wow.

Yeah.

It was really, it was really.

I just did Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney's podcast and it ended up being like mostly about that.

Which was fun.

I never really talk about it.

And it was like just a wild six months of my life where I was there and completely immersed.

I went to this poly sci school instead of going to like an American university.

I was like, fuck it.

I want to be really challenged.

Yeah, sure.

Get my ass kicked.

And it was so hard.

But it was fascinating because you're learning poly sci from like a completely different perspective.

Yeah.

And then just going and like playing basketball with a bunch of like sweaty dudes that have never heard of deodorant.

It's intense.

That's

like going to a doughboy show.

I have two last

fruits,

if you could believe it.

One of those Yoshi apples.

Yeah, sure.

I thought of that earlier when you were talking about Weiger's jaw opening like a snake and eating the apple.

And I was mouthing Yoshi.

But I hadn't been introduced yet, so I couldn't talk about it.

But Yoshi really chomps that apple.

Yeah, he really does.

Big shiny apples that he's got.

I would love to try one of those.

And look, I wouldn't try to take one from him, but a DK banana, you know, he's got good bananas.

Fuck.

Yeah.

Nagi Kana's got a

He's got banana horde.

He's got a big stash.

And he could give me one.

He has got a ton of them.

Yeah.

You know, what's the well, come on.

Yeah, I mean, then

we're back in video game town, but I mean, like, again, I guess.

You'd think I would be an ape from a fucking other tribe or some shit.

Small dicked ape, whatever the fuck you guys said earlier.

This banana is bigger than your dick.

That's normal, Donkey Kong.

Bananas are huge.

Oh, that's a plantain.

Donkey Kong.

The Donkey Kong sounds like Jerry's on.

Hey, that's a plantain.

What is the deal with Mitch's dick?

He's Donkey Kong, but it looks like a plantain.

It's so small.

You peel it off.

There's barely any fruit inside.

And what's going on at these college campuses?

If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830 Godo.

That's 830-463-6844.

Our producer is Emma Erdbrink.

Our associate producer is Emilia Marino.

Our supervising video producer is Casey Donahue, and our video editor is Mike Dorfman.

And hey, Dobo's apparel and merchandise is available in partnership with Kinship Goods at kinshipgoods.com slash Doughboys.

You can also get the Doughboys double our weekly bonus episode, plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog over at patreon.com/slash Doughboys.

And reminder, we are currently doing Mation Impado Bowl, which is a month-long visit of all revisit of all of the Mission Impossible films and the run-up to the final reckoning.

So check that out over at our Patreon, patreon.com slash

someone wearing that that shirt as a very guest.

Exact shirt.

Wow.

We watched Mission Impossible 7

together two nights ago?

Yeah.

Two nights ago.

I love it.

It was great.

Yeah.

I know you already covered it, so I can't spoil it.

I think that, well, we won't spoil it either, but we came into, I did not love it the first time I watched it, and you'll have to watch the episode to see what we thought.

Check it out to see our current assessment.

Tim Ball, it's such a treat to have you.

What would you like to plug?

Thank you so much for being here.

Well, let's see.

I think the last ever episode of Gemstones will come out.

This comes out Monday, right?

Next Thursday.

So it will have just come out.

Oh, yeah.

So it's like the last episode of Gemstones ever comes out.

Stream all four seasons on Max.

Congratulations.

Congrats.

That's so cool.

Yeah, it's crazy to, I mean, it took like seven years to make four seasons, but it's weird.

It's weird to be on the other side of it.

In a good way, Bittersweet.

And then Deliboy is streaming on Hulu,

the whole first season, which is fantastic.

Stars some amazing people.

And created by Abdullah Saeed and Hey Randy podcast on CBB World Patreon, which we have a blast doing.

Mitch did the live show.

That's right.

Audio version of that will come out months from now.

Yeah, yeah.

And there's, and we talk about that a little on the.

Oh, you did?

Okay, good.

So that's paywalled, too, right?

Yeah, yeah.

No spoilers.

I want to do a quick shout-out, Wags.

Is that okay?

I just want to give a shout out to one of our listeners, Brendan Mullen, who lives all the way down to South Africa.

And he's just, he's had a tough month and said the podcast has been very helpful for him during that time.

So that's nice.

Want to say

send some love and thank you for listening down under.

South Africa.

Put another shrimp on the Barbie.

The home of Dave Matthews.

Oh, that's true.

Yeah.

Right.

Watch out for that.

Watch out for the big trio.

Shit, piss, and the shit, piss, and compassion.

Of course, yes.

Right.

You never know when you might encounter those three.

He's having a hard month.

Yeah.

You make South Africa sound like Australia, and then you tell him he's going to get shit pissed and come down.

You won't.

That won't happen.

He's a good buddy of my friend, Colin, who's my neighbor back in the 20s.

I love Colin.

Any friend of Colin is a friend of mine.

So thank you for listening.

I hope you're doing all right.

Hey, there you go.

That'll do it for this episode of Doughboys.

Until next time for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Tiger Warrior.

How eating.

See ya.

That was a hit gum podcast.