Subway 5: Doritos Footlong Nachos with Toni Charline Ramos

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In 1911, California passed a state constitutional amendment allowing citizens to vote on ballot initiatives, an opportunity to legislate from the voting booth.

Thus began America's most lasting and consequential experiment with direct democracy, an experiment that, over a century later, still remains controversial.

The ballot initiative process has led to aggressive populist victories like 1994's Proposition 187, a draconian anti-immigrant measure, 2008's Proposition 8, which banned a same-sex marriage, ironically passed the same year Californians overwhelmingly voted Barack Obama for president, and most disastrously, 1987's Proposition 13, which, in limiting property taxes on rich homeowners, both hamstrung state revenues and throttled the housing supply.

But Californians have also united to advance social and economic progress not delivered by the state legislature.

1914's Proposition 10 helped ensure voting rights by banning poll taxes.

2016's Proposition 64 legalized marijuana, a boon to the emerging job classification of podcast producer.

And 1986's Proposition 65 required corporations to provide written notification of the presence of dangerous chemicals.

The state of California's own description reads, quote, Proposition 65 requires businesses to provide warnings to Californians about significant exposures to chemicals that cause cancer, birth defects, or other reproductive harm, end quote.

And while you'd be unsurprised to see a legally mandated Proposition 65 notice affixed to the window of a new electric vehicle or on the wall of a dry cleaner's, you might be a bit disturbed that one fast food chain displays a Prop 65 warning on the order confirmation screen of its own app, despite a slogan that encourages diners to, quote, eat fresh.

The ubiquitous sandwich chain in question has endured myriad controversies, from its so-called chicken being exposed as only 50% meat, to its human mascot being outed as a child pornographer.

But it saw mild success with a 2024 cross-branded Footlong gimmick menu and is now back to the same playbook this year by collaborating with a Frito-Lay varietal best known for its association with Taco Bell.

But can this latest reconfiguration of existing ingredients be enough to entice consumers to return to this declining sandwich shop?

Either way, it better taste pretty fucking good because you're apparently ingesting enough toxic chemicals to require legal notification.

This week on Doughboys, we return, once again, to to Subway for the Doritos Foot Long Nachos.

Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host,

My Love for You is Deep Dish, but the Deviled Eggs Love Me deeper than Spoonman Mike Mitchell.

How about that?

That's a great roast, except I would never leave the deep dish for deviled eggs.

The deviled eggs love me more than the individual.

My love for you is deep dish, but the devil dished.

Yes, in this math, in the math of this roast, which, of course, is a reference to Casey's upcoming

feature film,

the math is that you were leaving deep dish pizza for deviled eggs.

A good roast, though.

A good roast.

A great roast.

Hello, Doughboys and crew.

First and foremost, congratulations to Casey on his indie film reaching reaching its funding goal during the Munch Madness 10 live stream.

I just watched all six hours.

Congratulations, Casey.

I just watched all six hours and had an absolute blast.

When you've been out of a job for a year, one has that kind of free time in the day.

The main feet and the doubles have been constantly...

Maybe cut back on the Patreon subscriptions if you've been out of work for a year.

Chief the Patreon subscriptions.

But thank you.

Thank you very much.

The main feet and the doubles have been constant high points in my week that I look forward to while I continue to find new employment.

Thank you all for the hours upon hours of entertainment and for all the hard work from the host and the Deus, although come on, really just the Deus that goes into putting every episode together.

Congratulations approaching your 10-year doniversary and congratulations again to Casey.

I can't wait to see the movie.

All the best, Sam.

Doniversary.

Sam from Carlsberg.

Wow.

Sam from Carlsberg.

Carlsberg.

Roasted birdfuck.com.

My stomach hurts.

This is such a bad start.

This is a bad start.

This is a bad start, and this is also a bad sign, I feel like, for this week's change subway.

Sure.

Because you ingest the gimmick food food that they are using, they're selling right now that we are covering because it's topical, and then you have an immediate negative reaction.

Like your body is rebelling against it.

I just want to say, what's his name from Carlsberg?

Sam.

Sam, keep the Patreon.

Just, I don't know, feed your bird less or whatever the fuck you have to do.

You think Sam's a bird guy?

I think Sam's a bird guy.

He's got walking around with a parrot on his shoulder.

He's probably got a fat parrot.

Yeah.

Just cut the, give him a, set the parrot on a diet.

It's fine.

I love the parrot guy walking around like the, like the,

the fucking outdoor mall.

Like, oh, hey, how's it going, everybody?

Oh, yeah, I got a parrot there.

Do you want to see?

Doughboys.

Yeah.

What is the parrot saying?

Because they talk, right?

Only.

Look, it was a good roast.

It was a very good roast, Sam.

And we know good roasts.

We sure do.

At the show.

Mitch, last week,

our buddy Jabelle Bowie was here.

Yes.

We brought up a film that I realized I'd never seen to live and die in L.A.

This is a film that you talked about.

Oh, my God.

I watched it this past weekend.

What did you think?

Let me tell you, Five Forks.

Very good.

Wow.

You like Dafoe?

It was a William Friedkin movie.

Yeah, I mean, I love Dafoe.

You know, I just watched a, I did a full Paul Schrader watch down last year, and one of his films, which I'd never seen, Light Sleeper is a Willem Dafoe, Susan Surandon, two-hander.

It's a drug dealer movie.

He's not a scumbag in that one.

He's a scumbag in this one, but I always love seeing a young Dafoe.

Young Viral Dafoe.

I guess he's still Viral.

That hog is really hanging.

Yeah, that famously confusingly large hog.

We're on the Action Voice text through.

They sent us a video of the hog.

Yeah.

And it's something else.

It's quite the hog.

It's a prize pig.

William Freedkin obviously directed it.

Delivered on the promised Wang Chung soundtrack.

And Mitch, the other thing, this movie has a William Peterson hog, which he's not too shabby about the hardware.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I will just say, as someone who grew up in L.A.

County, and, you know, because this movie's obviously set in L.A., I love anything that deals with that 80s LA grime that I kind of like vaguely remember from my childhood.

It's a chung song that John Mulaney now uses.

Yeah.

It's, it's, and it's got a lot of.

It doesn't stink.

I think Mulaney sounds like the critic.

It's not just the, like, the pre-genderified downtown L.A., which this has a lot of part of and like the L.A.

River and stuff, but also like the port of Los Angeles in San Pedro, which is the busiest port in North America.

Sure.

And is like, you know, I know a lot because San Pedro is right next to Long Beach.

My parents lived in San Pedro Pedro for a time, so I've been around that area a lot.

It's got its own sort of like scummy veneer to it.

Also, just like, just like LA is like one of the most beautiful climates on earth, and it's just been at a certain point was just covered with asphalt and oil derricks and fucking power plants.

And there's a lot of that.

And it's all changed now.

It's, it's, yeah,

the concrete is gone.

Yeah, it's picturesque.

Uh, the great line, great William Peterson line, I wrote down, guess what?

Uncle Sam doesn't give a shit about your expenses.

You want bread?

Fuck a baker.

Pretty good.

That's pretty great.

I'm glad I watched it.

I saw a movie last night.

What was it?

It was Warfare.

Oh, I saw Warfare 2.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I was talking about with Amelia.

You see Hog in Warfare, but it's pretty grouped.

It's pretty.

It's like.

It's not a fun hog.

It's not a fun hog.

It's a man.

It's an uncut gem.

It's a after a man gets

after a man gets

like

IED and they cut his pants and you see his hog.

Well, spoiler alert.

Oh, shit.

Yeah.

Spoiler alert.

Oh, there's an IED in warfare.

Come on now.

That's an unpleasant watch.

I almost made the same mistake when we were talking about last night, and someone said IUD.

It's IED.

I said it correctly.

Okay.

Yes.

Yeah.

Inner uterine device.

Yeah.

Is that right?

Yeah.

Is it inner uterine device?

Yes.

That's nasty.

Wise Jim Albu being on and,

you know, got me thinking, like, you know, he says says a lot of smart things about politics.

Yeah, sure.

And I was watching

John Oliver.

I was watching John Oliver and he's a great show.

I like it.

It's like a lot of great political statements on that show.

And there's a lot going on in our country right now.

And I feel like we all got our heads stuck in the streamers.

You know what I mean?

HBO Max, a great streamer.

Yeah, sure.

But

also they have this deaf poetry jam on there.

And so I decided to write a little poetry jam for you.

Okay, so the combination of you're watching HBO.

You're watching Max, you're watching John Oliver, and then you're also, they have deaf poetry jam.

Those two things, two factors converge, and now you wrote in some poetry jam.

I just wrote you a little poetry jam.

Is that okay?

Yes.

Can I recite for it?

Okay, please.

All right.

Here we go.

Trump pushing his power to the max, but I don't mean HBO man, relax.

All people want to talk about is white lotus, but we should be talking about our white POTUS.

Because the economy is crashing, but this time I ain't laughing.

Fat cats obsessed with money like they're areless.

And people like me and you end up carless

or even homeless like bubbles on the wire.

We got a Veep.

in Prez chasing their desires.

Instead of progress and moving forward like we should, we're going backwards.

Man, we're almost back in deadwood.

And our future looks like Westworld.

We're in a crisis.

I'm going to end up six feet under when I see these new egg prices.

For these politicians, it's a game, but not of thrones.

Claiming to be righteous, but only want those gemstones.

They're a bunch of hacks and they destroyed our trust.

And they won't be happy till they see the last of us.

I have one note.

Yeah.

Just let it breathe.

Just a little longer.

I thought your note was going to be, why did you do this?

No, I loved it.

I didn't realize when you started when you went that setup that it was going to be about the current administration, but through the lens of referencing a bunch of Max's catalog of shows.

I loved it.

I got to sign you up for a good slam pro.

I warned Tony that I was going to do it before we even came in here.

And her reaction is pretty much what I thought I would do,

which is no laughter and just nodding her head.

But it was a nice little tour down memory lane of

their vast library of great shows.

You can watch all of that

on Max.

But get your head out of the streamers and do something.

Get your head out of the streamers and do something.

Promo code Doe for 15% off your first month of Max.

Which recording episode?

I told

the day I saw they were, they were like, we should move to Italy.

It's crazy here.

And I was like, I'm going to address it on this episode.

And I don't think they were prepared for how bad it was going to be, honestly.

Also, you're worried about fascism.

We should not move to Italy.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

I mean, did you see who they elected?

Also, we know this.

They looked like Mussolini's niece or something.

It's like insane.

Mussolini's niece, gone.

Is there a Mr.

Mussolini?

We've talked about this before.

A lot of Italians love Trump.

Oh, yeah.

The Italians I know back in the day.

Oh, I don't know what I love more.

Nuna's

Nuna's chicken palm or Trump.

Oh,

Madon, which one is better?

Anyways, wow.

The Leaning Tower of Pizza?

Or Trump?

I don't know.

I don't have, I don't have an, I don't have one.

I don't know.

I was just like, that's my, my fucking, the rainbow wheel in my old brain trying to come up with one Italian reference.

Spaghetti and meatballs

or

spaghetti and then Trump.

I think spaghetti and Trump.

Just make it Trump.

Sorry, it's just Trump.

I was going to say Trump and Pence.

That doesn't work.

It's Gilding the Lily.

It's just Trump.

I've been so nerve-wracked since I did my poem.

Why are you nerve-wracked?

That was.

I don't know because I put myself out there.

It was great, Mitch.

It was very vulnerable.

What?

I want to reference a couple of things.

I just want to mention this real quick.

We're recording an episode slightly advanced because we're about to go on tour in May, Mitch.

Our first DC show and our Newark show are sold out.

However, tickets are still available for our second DC show, May 14th at the DC Improv and in Boston, Mitch, at the Wilbur on May 17th.

That's going to be a big blowout show.

You're not going to want to miss that show.

Birdfuck.com/slash live.

And please join us when we're in your town over in the East Coast, the Feast Coast.

Yes, come to the Boston show.

A lot of my family and friends will be there.

We've been making them do it for 10 years.

Come to the DC if you're if you missed out on the

Mitch.

Oh, come to the DC.

Come to the DC show.

If you missed out on the first show, we had a second show.

Two shows.

We had two shows in DC.

There might be some surprises.

Yeah.

Check that out.

All right, Mitch, I know you got a drop to play, and we got a guest to introduce.

I want to try to do more Italian stuff with Toronto.

Fine, I'll do this.

I'm going to hit him with a drone.

Just think while the drop is split with an Italian specific.

I'm going to hit him with a one.

Okay, start thinking.

When you were in college,

what did you say?

I said when you were in college.

That was a while ago.

Hey, boys, check it out.

Ladies are out on campus now.

That pretty lass is showing some ankle.

We really gave it to the Krautskood

in World War I.

I'm majoring in vacuum tubes.

Want to work on one of those new room-sized computers?

My next class is on punch cards.

I don't, I don't like, I don't care for international marriage.

That shouldn't happen.

You're old.

Man, we're unfunny.

I thought that was a lot of fun.

I liked it.

Let's see here.

That

little Scott Joplin.

Oh, is that who?

Is that?

Yeah, I think that was

Maple Leaf Rag.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are you telling me Janice is a Nepo baby?

Mitch, that's how Hollywood works.

Ugh.

You don't get Janice.

Okay.

Hello, Drop King, Emma, Amelia, or whoever is handling the real work for the show.

Okay,

attaches my drop inspired by Wager's college reminiscing from the recent-ish Casey double about Root Beer.

Thanks to whoever reads this, I drop off even my most cherished podcasts every now and then, but never the Doughboys.

Wow.

Chris.

Wow.

Did you get a

one?

No, but you go first.

You go first.

Okay.

Ah, I don't know which I like better.

Dante's the Defined Comedy Comedy or Trump?

Great Italian work of literature.

I don't know what I like better.

Spaghetti and meat.

Oh, I already did that one.

Tiramasu

or Trump and Masseu.

Drop some pumpkin.com.

Help us be funny.

Help us, guests.

Returning to the show, our great friend, Tony Charlene Ramos.

Hi, tony thanks so much for making time for us oh my poem pleasure uh yeah

you're like when you told me you're like okay so um wigger was out of the room okay so um i have this um it's a corny poem so don't worry it is corny like okay and you're like just look at the title

but just so you know when i read it It's corny.

All right, buddy.

I had to make sure you knew that I wasn't being serious, which I think was never an issue.

Yeah.

Never for a surprise.

You went to get coffee.

You went and got coffee.

And

I said, I have a surprise for Wags.

I have a surprise.

I have a surprise.

Susser wrote the gemstones line.

It was a good line.

What the fuck?

What about the rest of the book?

No, but your rest was good too, but it's just so, you know, you can tell that little susser touch.

That's bullshit.

Man does it for a living.

The gemstones and whatever that whole.

Yeah.

Oh, I forget what it was.

I don't give a shit.

It's fine.

It's not important.

Yeah.

You guys don't.

you don't want to, you don't want, you don't want to do an hour podcast after.

Actually, because you just read the whole thing again.

Yeah.

Sure, someone will

make it into a drop with another Scott Joplin rag.

Yeah.

Oh, does rag, it's rag means rag time, right?

Ragtime, yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

So that was a, was that, is that a ragtime song?

Yeah, it was, yeah.

It's Scott Joplin, kind of the king of ragtime.

Scott Joplin's the king of rags.

Amelia is nodding along, you freak.

You know me.

You're a big Scott Joplin fan.

Really?

What's your favorite?

Maple Leaf Rag.

Maple Leaf Rag is great.

That one's a banger.

What's Maple Leaf Rag?

The one we just heard.

Oh,

that's your favorite.

They just said it mere moments ago.

One, I don't care.

Two, I'm never gonna remember.

The other big one is the entertainer.

You probably, and you know, the entertainer.

You've definitely heard the entertainer.

No, it's not.

They're they're not lyrical, they're just piano songs.

Oh, I da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da.

This is what Shoba's used to be.

You could go out on a stage and just dance to that song.

He would cheer.

I would love it.

Yeah, where's the WB frog?

Oh, man.

Is that ragtime?

I mean, I feel like he kind of did more jazz standards, but I guess he did some ragtimey stuff.

Sure.

Oh, maybe saying about my ragtime gal.

Yeah.

He got canceled, unfortunately.

The WB frog.

Yeah, he was a little handsy.

Yeah.

Oh,

yeah.

Cool.

Tony, you are now living, or at least, at least for the time being, you were living in Mexico.

I am, yes,

for the past three months and still got some time there.

So you're up here for a brief stretch.

We're like, will you do the Doughboys?

You're kind enough to say, yeah, I'll do the Doughboys in my limited time in LA.

Absolutely.

We appreciate it so much.

So, what is it like, and is it better than here?

I

love LA.

Wow.

I love LA.

I love LA.

I love LA.

Yeah.

I love L.

Sounds like Randy Newman, I was going to say.

I love L.A.

Now you don't.

Now you sound like it.

We can't sing that at my house because I'm dating a short king and he has that song.

Oh, it's the short people.

No reason to live.

Yeah.

So we can't sing that song.

They said that and I love LA.

No, no, no.

It's a different song.

It's a different song.

Oh.

But isn't I?

I always assumed, I don't know anything about Randy Newman.

I always assumed Randy Newman was himself a short king.

No, he's

a big guy.

He's like over six foot.

Oh, so that's punching down.

That's punching down.

Literally, yeah.

Mitch.

I'm saying he's moving punching down.

Not cool, Mitch.

It's true.

It's true.

He's tall.

He's tall.

He's a tall man.

I thought the song was meant to be satire.

I think so.

Well, yeah, little bitty eyes, little bitty teeth, little bitty cars that go beep, beep, beep.

I think he's talking about little people in the sense of

you're little.

You know,

you're small people.

You're small.

But he says short people in the song.

Yeah, short people.

Ain't got no reason to live.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm saying all of us.

I'm saying it's, it's, it's, come on.

Man.

It's no matter what height, there's no real reason.

It's very existential.

I give up.

Yeah.

So you went from, you went from,

what's his name?

I just said his name.

Randy Newman.

You went from Randy Newman to now James Taylor.

You love Mexico.

Oh, yes, sure.

No one knows the James Taylor song Mexican.

I don't know.

I do.

I know what you're talking about.

I bet I've heard it.

I just don't know from the time.

We'll get DCMA.

You will get DCA DCMA.

Natural taste.

Yeah.

Oh, Mexico.

Yeah.

I know.

I can only hear the name.

I think I've heard this.

Yeah.

Don't play it.

Don't play.

I can't play even a second.

I'm just going to play your phone.

I'm just going to look at a lyric to it.

Okay.

I'm just going to look at a lyric.

Okay.

To answer your question, I love Mexico.

I'm in Puerto Vallarta.

Nice.

I absolutely love it.

I love

the food, the culture.

It feels like a village.

It's nice to take a little peek outside from the States.

Yeah, sure.

Right now.

Yeah.

Yeah, I really, I really dig it.

Okay, so you're there.

Obviously, you love LA.

You have a lot of elite, you know, you grew up all over.

I know you spent some time in Washington, some time in Arizona.

Oh, my gosh, yes.

I got some lyrics here.

Yeah.

Okay, get it.

Oh, down in Mexico.

I never really been so, I don't really know.

Oh,

Mexico.

I guess I'll have to go.

I guess this is just all posturing.

He's never been to Mexico.

It's the sun's so hot, I forgot to go home.

Guess I'll have to go.

Yeah.

Down in Mexico.

Yeah.

You know what else?

Christopher Cross has a song like that, too.

Yes, I love sailing.

So much further to go.

Went to the border of Mexico.

Oh, yeah.

Ride like the wind.

Ride like the wind.

Ride like the wind.

Yeah.

That's a great song.

Yeah, it's a really good song.

That whole album's ride like the wind, ride like the wind.

That is it.

Sorry, Jeffy.

That is a big one.

It's part of it.

It's very much that.

I like

one of the best moments.

Oh, go ahead.

Oh, no, I was just going to say real quick.

This is a factoid we've talked about on the podcast before.

That Christopher Cross album wins that that one that album that's like it's all bangers.

It's a very good album, but it wins best album or album of the year at the Grammys over Pink Floyd's The Wall, which is insane.

Look, I appreciate

Pink Floyd's the Wall.

Pink Floyd The Wall is maybe my favorite album of all the time.

I love that album.

Yeah.

But it is a really good album.

I mean, it's just, it is very 80s.

It's funny because it's 1980s.

Name three songs.

From, from, from, uh, from uh, Ride Like the Wind, okay, sailing, which is enough for me.

Oh, that's fun.

Well, it's not enough for me.

Name one more.

It's so good.

I think Maple Leaf Rag is on there.

Yeah, I think Maple Leaf Rag.

Christopher.

Yeah, I don't know.

There's a song that says, that's just his name.

He's crisscrossed.

Sailing, one of the best moments of my life, I was in Columbia.

Wow.

And I was with Micas and the gang, and it was like a rocky start, which I've told that story before, and I won't tell it publicly.

oh things got crazy in columbia as you could when i'm with a group of quincy guys it got just a little crazy did someone immediately buy drugs

maybe

was the drug a softball of worth of cocaine maybe

not not even an eight ball

did the drug dealer leave and without us paying him yes i look i wasn't even involved i didn't want any of this stuff to i swear this is the truth and then uh and then i was i was so scared the entire time.

And, anyways, of course.

Uh, I, I went to, we, we, we went out on a boat and it was like the waves were crazy and I thought I was gonna die.

I was like, oh, I survived this one thing and now I'm gonna die in a boat.

And then the water cleared up and it was like

like crystal clear and beautiful.

And like a guy in a wooden boat, like an old man in the, in the, like an old man in the sea type boat came up and like was trying to sell us lobsters.

Wow.

And that song Sailing came on.

It takes me away to where I want to move.

That song's an ambulance, Michael Bay movie.

It's a great moment.

Oh, right.

Yes.

Yeah.

On the earbuds, it's a great song.

That's a great song.

A song that plays as you die.

What is it?

Not that you haven't thought about it a lot, but I feel like you might have.

Could you have one wages uh the boys are back in town

uh girls just want to have lunch but

wow that's a good one that's a good one

it depends on how i die like am i going on a uh you know

uh a hailstorm of bullets or something are you saying as you die you're you're saying like in the movie of your life are you saying like that's what you're listening to or are you saying like that's kind of like the vibe of your death uh here's the thought process Yeah.

We played that song, and then you said ambulance.

And then I was like, I thought you meant like,

oh, that song was playing in an ambulance.

There's not a lot to it.

So I'm going to say, like, as

you

die, which is, so you have a gun in your mouth?

All right.

So picture me with a gun.

No, no, no.

No, I like this.

Picture me with a gun in my mouth.

You tried it with a noose, but it broke the rafter.

Splan B.

Where was I?

What raft was?

You're two stories down.

The goddess in my mouth.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

That's a good way for an entertainer to die.

It's a good way for an entertainer.

Oh, you know what?

That would be a good song is Hollywood Boulevard is a nice song.

Sure.

By the Kinks.

You know that one?

Yeah.

That's a great song.

You love that song.

I love that song.

It's in my top ten.

Everybody's a dreamer.

And everybody's a star.

And everybody's in showbiz.

No matter who you are.

There are stars on every corner, on every

something, and on every street.

And when you walk down Hollywood Boulevard, some are beneath your feet.

I forget the lyrics.

Mitch, that was really good.

I just wish the lyrics had been changed to acknowledge some HBO Max properties.

It almost felt a little out of Sandlery, too.

Oh, really?

Yeah, you kind of went into a little bit of sandbag.

It's about like

Rudolph Valentino.

Like, like, like, they talk about all the stars that are on Hollywood Boulevard.

Like,

you get it.

You get the song.

There was a, I was, I can't remember where I was exactly, but there's, there's a, there's a star in the walk of fame for Michael Jackson, obviously.

And so it was by, I was like, I was walking by.

When you step on it, it makes that noise.

Yeah.

I was walking by, I was walking by the Michael Jackson star, and there were like people, like, just tourists, like, taking pictures, and there was like an on-house guy who was just hanging out there, and he kept saying, like, wrong one, wrong one.

There's two Michael Jacksons.

That's the Michael Jackson who was a radio broadcaster in LA in like the 70s.

Yeah, the other, you know, the actual Michael Jackson is spot somewhere else.

So some guy just kind of set up shop just to tell Courage to go to the other Michael Jackson store.

And they each get, you get a service.

Public service.

You get a star, and then you get like a little picture depending on the category you're in.

Yeah.

You're in.

So I wonder what the difference is.

I think he had a microphone, and then Michael Jackson has like a record.

Oh, that makes sense.

Wrong one.

It'd be fun to be the wrong one, guy.

I won't be happy till Bubbles gets a star, too.

The character?

The chimp.

Michael Jackson's chimp.

God, do people know about bubbles anymore?

Does the Deus know about bubbles?

I don't know about bubbles.

Casey knows bubbles.

I know bubbles.

Amelia, you don't know bubbles.

What bubbles do you know?

Well, I know blanket because kids.

You know blanket.

Okay, blanket.

Okay, okay, okay.

That's a good cultural reference with Michael Jackson.

Blanket.

Mitch referenced Bubbles from the Wire.

Do you know the Bubbles from the Wire?

No.

Okay.

You don't know Bubbles from the Wire?

No.

Great show.

You should like it.

Casey, you've seen The Wire.

Bitch, I have not seen The Wire.

Wow.

I also have not seen The Sopranos.

Wow.

I might take my donation back.

No, this is.

No, let me defend Casey.

He's a movie guy.

When you're a movie guy, because there's so much TV I haven't seen.

Obviously, there's a bunch of movies I haven't seen either.

Some of the shows are like movies.

Yeah, but some of the big shows I've never seen.

I've never seen.

What's the thing that's White Lotus?

I've never seen White Lotus.

I've never seen White Lotus.

So I don't know.

I miss out on shit.

I can't tell what I love more.

The Sopranos?

That's what I want.

I was trying to buy Mitch on it.

I was giving Mitch the eyes for it.

Oh, you were trying to signal to me and I didn't catch on to it at all.

I'm also wondering.

I also wonder if that is just a true statement from Amelia.

They like the TV shows are so good.

They're cinematic.

They're like movies.

I will watch at least the Sopranos at some point, but i should watch the water

find the time yeah it's a it's a whole thing it's it's like what are you doing now

you just have it on the monitor there what are you missing amelia could amelia could do the switch and you go in another room watch the first episode of the sopranos what do you think let us know

do you have a laptop could we make this happen yes do you think do you think just the pilot of the sopranos though is a good on-ramp because the pilot's kind of a little different like i feel like you can need to pilot the shot so far before the rest of even the first season there's a bunch of recasts i have I have also seen the pilot with the ducks.

Right, right.

I just haven't watched

the whole thing.

I would warn you that it becomes a very different show after

two seasons, maybe.

Like, it's in the third season that it's really,

I mean, it's still, it's still good.

Don't get me wrong.

I hear, look, my parents love the Sopranos.

I watch it.

My parents have seen it, and you haven't.

That is wild.

Well, at the time when it was airing, I wasn't allowed to watch it.

I was too young.

Jesus Christ.

Actually,

I was checking off to that shit.

Jesus Christ.

My God.

Bubbles the Chimp is still alive.

No.

Yes.

He was born in 1983, and he lived with Michael Jackson until 2005.

And now he lives at the Center for Great Apes in Florida.

Wow.

So he is

42.

Yeah.

We're the same age.

I might as well go down there.

I mean, I guess I'm a year older than Bubbles.

Yeah.

The Mulaney show, which Dave Ferguson is the show runner of, just did a funny Bubbles bit

just recently.

Yeah, they referenced Bubbles.

So it's in the Zeitgeist right now.

And also, SNL did the white POTUS sketch on Saturday.

I was wondering which came first.

Oh, interesting.

Let's just take a look at my notes, Dave.

Oh, except I did, I changed something today.

So

the metadata is not going to be understood.

He did like a white POTUS thing last week, I think.

He did a graphics bit with their theme song and it had Trump in it.

Who did this?

Ben Arsalen.

So a lot of mutual adventure going on.

Let's go back.

Wait, let's go back.

Hold on a second.

Hold on now.

Hold on.

I'm just going to, I'm going to time stamp it for you.

All right.

So you were first.

Is that what you're saying?

Well, if 11 days ago means anything.

Wow.

You're a fucking hack, Van Arstalen.

And

Saturday was.

11 days ago was well before Saturday.

Did you wait?

Did you also...

But just, I just like, so that we recorded other episodes before Tony came in.

So you were saving it for Tony?

Yes.

Really?

It wasn't done yet?

No.

I wanted to do it on a mainline episode, and I said to Sus, how embarrassing will this be to do in front of Jamel Bui?

And he said, very embarrassing.

You should just do it in front of someone else.

And I said, yeah, I would have.

I don't think I could have.

Right.

Been comfortable enough to do it in front of Jamel.

Yeah.

I think I would have been embarrassed.

Yeah.

Okay.

I get that.

You've seen me be a fool.

Oh, absolutely.

I've seen you full.

Well, we've talked about this before, full-on naked multiple times.

That's stuff.

Whether I wanted to

off stage.

We did a super Harold, and I came out naked.

Needlessly,

there was nothing that.

To be fair, I was like, to my Harold group, I was like, let's all get naked.

And then I got naked and walked out.

And I was covering myself.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah.

Because I don't want anyone to see anything.

Yeah.

Just a thumb over the hole.

Did Hanford maybe come out naked?

So it felt like somebody else did.

I too was like, I'll come out naked.

And I think somebody was like, it's not worth it.

Well, also, to be fair.

It's different if

a lady comes out.

Also, to be fair.

Was it Joe Hartzler?

Hartzer definitely like took off his, well, this is what started.

It's like one group took off like their, like, he took off his shirt and then people took off their pa and then I was like

we need to heighten

and you were right.

You were right.

Oh my god.

I just I kicked Jemmy.

Okay.

You okay.

She's okay.

Bite him.

Yeah, bite him.

I'm so sorry, baby.

That sucks.

No, she's doing okay.

I kicked the dog.

Mitch, I've done it before.

It's just sometimes you move.

Not on purpose.

Not on purpose, but sometimes

Jemmy's in a place you're not expecting.

You move your foot.

She's very good at getting right underpinning.

It happens, especially if there's cheese around.

I barely comes to collect her cheese tash, she gets kicked.

She's going to barely

never have said that before.

Yeah, right.

Well, maybe when I with my sister or something, that's it.

I don't say that a lot.

My sister was stronger than me.

I have to go to the bathroom.

Okay, okay.

We'll take a break.

We'll be back with you.

You want me to keep going?

You want me to keep going without you?

Let's take a break.

Yeah.

I'll be back with more doughboys.

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okay we're back mitch how you feeling not great wikes okay uh here's here's the deal yeah i take drugs i take the weight loss drugs and miss

i take the weight loss drugs also i feel like people are gonna think i'm a scumbag with i didn't do the i i didn't do just a little of that big ball of coke i don't i didn't do i didn't do i wasn't for

you i didn't do i don't do that i didn't do that i wasn't for Have you never done it?

Tony.

Maybe it's a little touch here and there.

Okay.

Okay.

I can say I've never done.

The hardest drug I've ever done is weed.

I've never touched anything else.

And I think if I, I don't think I could do, I'm like very addictive.

I think meat plus cocaine would be a really bad, bad situation.

I thought that too.

I was like, I think this is going to be my drug.

And my personality, I was like, let's do it anyways.

And I was like, oh, okay.

Yeah.

But I could manage.

I could manage.

Yeah.

Just a little bit of Coke.

Just a little bit.

I feel that way about the spice melange from Dune.

I feel like you do like a little bit of the spice melange and not like, you know, become like a transdimensional being.

Now, would you?

What's your favorite hard drug?

Mine's Viagra.

Nice.

I winked.

I winked.

Your little eyes.

What's the most fun?

This is a horrible combo.

What's the most fun?

Coke is the most fun, hard drug to talk about.

Like Tony Montana with the

acid maybe is like, whoa, dude, you know what I mean?

And shrooms were not counting as a hard drug.

I think the U.S.

government would, but I think, like, probably they're not.

I mean, now that is maybe like 30 years ago, psychedelics were hard drugs.

Yeah.

And now I would say not.

No.

So you've never done shrooms?

No, I've never done any of them.

Okay.

No.

I smoke a little weed.

It makes me anxious.

I've tried to get into it a number of times, and then I just find it exacerbates my anxiety.

What a false advertisement.

You think this is too.

You think my hoodie?

I feel like

too wavy gravy

is shocking.

Is this a weed sort of thing?

I don't think you should.

No, she was saying mushrooms, but I also don't.

Oh, this is mushroom?

Maybe you were on hallucinogens.

You could stare at that sweater for like four hours now.

You shouldn't do.

Has everyone else in this room done mushrooms?

Yeah.

wow i don't think you should do them

yeah i don't think you should do them you might like micro dosing yeah you don't have like a little bit of the like you don't have like the mental effects it's just like a mood boost kind of i think you'd have a panic we sold micro we sold some mushroom micro dosing things right

which is so funny yeah you talked about how much you love them

it's especially I would say even here, but especially in Amsterdam, you can pick what you want.

It's not of the days where it's like, all right, my friend got some caps and who knows what's going to happen.

You could be like, I don't want to see stuff.

I want like more of a body high.

Or it's not as like.

That makes me sick about Amsterdam.

When people are like, when you came to Boom Chicago, you take like Excel.

I was like, I like it.

I don't like any drugs anymore.

Yeah.

But like hallucinogens and stuff like that, I don't.

I've gone so far away from I never want to do them again.

And I think if you took them, there's a chance that you would come in with a tiger tattoo on your face or something.

I killed someone, buddy.

I don't think you should take them.

Yeah, I won't take them.

I like you just the way you are, wise.

Oh, wow.

Yes, I'm not a thing to say.

I only like booze.

That's the only drug I enjoy.

I used to like cigarettes.

I only like booze, but I don't.

Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Make sure I both used to smoke.

We're booze.

I like that line in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

It's like, my booze don't need no buddy when he's talking about that.

That's good.

That's Leo's character there.

Yeah, that's great.

I got to re-watch that movie.

It's my favorite Tarantino.

I know that's crazy.

I don't think that's crazy.

Bring them how you got them.

Yeah, a lot of fun.

I love it.

I don't want to promote smoking, but what was your brand?

Well, I was doing Parliament.

Well, I was a Parliament life guy for a while.

Yeah.

My mom smoked Virginia Slims.

You got into those?

Well, you know, I was like a Virginia Slim, sure.

Kind of a mom's cigarette.

Yeah.

Mommy's cigarette.

Yeah.

I smoked Winston's, Marlborough Lights, Winston's Marlborough Ultra Lights, Parliament's Parliament Lights, and then the Parliament Ultra Lights, and then I and then I stopped.

Yeah, I quit.

I told this, I quit smoking when the Red Sox were down 3-0 to the Yankees and the ALCS.

I was driving back to Ithaca and I crunched up my cigarettes and threw them out the window.

I said, I won't smoke if they don't lose.

And I was like, They're going to lose.

Yeah.

And then they never lost again.

And then my dad had like heart surgery.

And I was like,

I won't smoke or do drugs while like my dad, like while my dad is alive.

He'd be happy with that.

So I didn't do it.

And then when he died,

you snorted a bunch of cigarettes he died about seven years after that so i didn't do anything and then and then like i was too old at that point i feel like when i got back to it that i like i was 30 almost so i i didn't i so i didn't smoke from from 22 to 30 and then i like tried to i kind of tried again but i but i but i it didn't stick which is good yeah my mom my mom smokes cigarettes she i she started smoking as a teenager she smoked cigarettes for many many years and and finally quit and it was like you know it's a little thing yeah very very good for her and then my my my older brother nate was i think a pack or two pack a day smoker to certain points like an insane smoker

i think he was a pack a day smoker and then one day he's just like i'm not doing this anymore just quit cold turkey like a pack a day yeah

that's amazing i briefly smoked i've now used this joke multiple times

that i that i quit cold turkey and i just i every time i wanted a cigarette i would eat a slice of turkey

sucks it sucks every time I've told it every time I've told it it's been bad no that's like an old that's like a Rodney Dangerfield joke oh cool it is that's a great joke I mean I love I love Rodney Dangerfield Rodney selling that and I shouldn't be compared to him he's the he's one of the greatest incredible joke writer I cut you off also I just want to reiterate with the shot my bathroom bathroom stuff can be tricky sometimes for me.

Right.

Yes, that's what you're referring to.

Yeah yeah, yeah.

So I so that is, that's, that's what's, that's what's happening.

But I, when I was in the bathroom, I always play a song on there because it's an echo chamber, as we all know.

Uh, but even though you just recently said, can I quote you?

Of course.

Um, the head gum bathroom is one of the best places in the world to have diarrhea, I believe you said.

That's because it was midnight and she left the bar to have diarrhea.

When no one is around, yeah, when no one is around, that's an important condition.

When no one is around, I was at the bar down the street, and instead of waiting online, I just walked here, had diarrhea, and went back.

She texted me and said, I went to Hedgum to have diarrhea.

I'll be right back.

Oh, my God.

There's no alarm.

There is an alarm, right?

Yeah, we have people.

We know how to get past the alarm.

Yeah, we know how to deactivate it.

I felt like the Mission Impossible.

Speaking of alarms,

in the Mission Possible 1, where the guy gets up and he runs back.

That's how I was feeling in the situation.

Oh, yeah, they drug him, and he's got to puke and shit.

He's got to puke and shit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

he's got a puke and shit.

Classic Ethan Hunt Caper.

Does he, does he, he should come back, that guy?

Has he come back ever?

The puke and shit guy?

Is that, I mean, he isn't he back, or is that, is that a different guy?

No, it's a different, isn't it a different guy?

I think this is a different guy.

It's a different guy.

It's the guy he has in, he meets in the restaurant and throws the gum on the aquarium.

No, but he's, I can't pull his name right now.

I know that's just old brain.

The guy with the glasses, the nerdy guy with the glasses, who

he gets,

he is back in Final Reckoning, and he's been, he was back in

he's back in the newest one.

He was back in Dead Reckoning.

He was?

Yeah, I just can't pull his name right now.

It's not Krychek.

That's from the X-Files.

I don't know if you're ready on this, but maybe.

Are we thinking of a different guy?

You might be thinking of a different guy.

Hold on, let me look at the guy.

The guy who barfs and shits.

That's a different guy.

I can't stress this enough.

It's the guy who barfs and shits.

That's a guy.

You're trying to Google Mission Impossible guy who barfs and shits.

That's not the...

No, hold on.

Hold on.

One of the guys.

There's a guy you're referencing that's in it that is in Dead Reckoning.

But I don't know if the...

Ridge.

Kit Ridge is the guy.

It's not Kit Ridge.

It's not Kittridge.

It's a different guy.

I thought you were referencing Kit Ridge.

I'll show you.

No, Kit Ridge doesn't shit in Barf.

Are you talking from the first one?

From the first one.

From the first one.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's a different guy.

Unless there's a hidden scene with Kit Ridge where you're.

No, it's a different guy.

That's a different guy.

Because he's the guy who works the terminal.

Don Lowe.

It might be Don Lowe.

Download.

What is his name?

Down Low.

Don Lowe.

It might be Don Lowe.

That's fun.

Don Low.

I mean, look,

we are wasting so much time, but we are now both need to know the answer to this.

There's somebody in their car right now screaming at me.

I gotta rewatch.

I'm excited to re-watch all the MIs, which I'm about to do.

Which I get, Mitch, I can say.

To get and prepare.

To get prepared for Final Reckoning, but I was going to tease this later.

Coming next month to the Doughboys Double, Sam, you'll be excited about this.

Mank returns with Mank 3, Mission Impodable.

A month of Mission Impossible.

You fucked it up.

Mation.

Mank3, Mation Impodoble.

A month of Mission Impossible episodes leading up to our junk review of the Final Reckoning.

So we're going to be going through all of the Mission Impossible movies over on our Patreon.

That'll be a lot of fun.

That's right, Wags.

What the fuck is that guy's name?

I don't know.

I can't find the fucking guy.

I'm so pissed off.

It's the guy on our name.

It's the guy.

Squirt the front.

In his coffee.

Yeah, I know you're talking about it.

In his coffee.

I know who he is.

You didn't know who he was.

No, I know what you're talking about.

No, no, no, no.

Oh, my God.

Tony, I want to.

Wait, wait,

look, we have to get back to the show.

I want to cut out everything we've just thought about.

I want to ask more about Mexico because it's like,

it's obviously like, I love Mexican food.

It's my favorite, like, like, food.

Yeah.

And have you ever been to Mexico?

I've been to Mexico twice, once on a family vacation.

I can't remember where.

And then the other time I went to Tijuana for the

Boy Scout International Campere.

I thought you were going to say something way different.

Well,

cool.

The scout leaders brought all the Boy Scouts south of the border.

Yeah.

It's a Boy Scout jamboree.

It's a camperry, Mitch.

Camporey.

Yeah.

Jamboree is something different.

Yeah, I figure.

They can do the jamborees in the States.

Great.

A great, a great, great food.

I love the food.

How is the food?

How is the Mexican food in Mexico?

Or how is just the food scene in general in Puerto Rico?

Get Get ready.

It's great.

Wow.

It's so good.

I, too, Mexican food is my favorite food

type of food.

It's so good, so affordable, absolutely delicious.

Like I said, I'm in Puerto Vallarta.

I've been flirting with eating shrimp.

Okay, because

fish yikes.

I don't like to say it, but here we are.

Yes.

Sorry for getting up, but this is going to be a follow-up question because you're a long-time vegetarian.

So you have been dallying with, because they have great seafood, obviously.

I have, yes, yes, yes.

I have, um,

yeah, it's great.

It's, it's, uh,

so good.

A lot of, of course, your classics, tacos, not as many burritos as one might think.

Uh, and different places in Mexico, obviously.

Very

that pisses me right the hell off.

Have you seen any whales?

I have.

Have you seen the whale?

Uh,

no.

I'm not the whale.

Did you think I was in the movie?

Did you confuse me and Brandon Frazier?

I love the character who came to life.

I have not seen that movie either.

My Coke says cis on it.

Oh, man.

Don't care for that.

Why does it say cis on it?

S-I-S-Cis.

S-I-S-SIS.

Do you think listeners thought it said C-I-S-Cis?

I think that's the kind of thing that Coke might pander on.

That would be insane if they put C-I-S on it.

That would be insane, but that's a kind of corporate pandering we see.

Yeah, it says

I would rather a can that says bro or dude on it because those idiots have those too.

I mean, yeah,

to be clear, I think all of that is all the options are stupid, but I just realized it said sis on it.

So choose what you would want your Coke to say to you.

What's the word?

Hmm, the whale.

Okay, yeah.

I want to say this while I was in the bathroom.

Yeah.

I just, I

played music in there because it is

Echoey.

And so I played Mexico because I try to look up the lyrics.

And it started right on a lyric here that was weird.

Lose your load, leave your mind behind, baby James.

He's talking about himself.

Oh, Mexico.

Wow.

Lose your load, leave your mind behind, baby James.

You're talking about shitting his own brains out?

Maybe.

Wow.

Or nutting.

I mean,

I thought it was nutting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But he called himself, referred to himself as baby James.

But I feel like load was a different, had a different meaning back then.

Because, like, there's that whole take a load off Fanny.

Like,

it didn't mean jack up.

That's not about, that's not about commer shit.

Yeah.

Something else is going on.

He was.

They weren't telling, they weren't telling Fanny.

They weren't telling Fanny to jack up.

What a missed opportunity.

Take a load off Fanny is not about a big dump.

Yeah.

Right.

Fanny also

a butt.

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah.

Maybe that is what it's about.

Take a load off Fanny.

But or

giny.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Pussy areas.

I'll see you.

There's a take a load off Annie.

It's Annie?

I thought it was Fanny.

Wait.

It's Annie.

Wait,

Annie this whole time.

I was Fanny my whole life.

I'm okay, hold on.

I want to confirm this because I just, my quick Google was like, no, it's.

The load.

I'm looking at the load.

Take a load off.

It's called the weight.

Oh, it is the load.

It's funny that it's called

the load.

Shit, I'm going to get TCMA.

All right, stop it quick enough.

All right, here we go.

Take a load off Fanny.

It is Fanny?

Fanny.

Yeah.

What's your source on that?

Google AIs.

Apple Music.

Apple Music.

Okay.

Take a load.

It isn't take, I thought it was take the load off it.

Take a load off.

Take a load off.

Yeah, take a load off.

Take a load for free.

Take a load off Fanny.

And, and, and you put the load right on me, which is also funny.

That's crazy.

That's not about what it all feels like.

Taking a dump on someone or or

jacking off on someone.

It could be one of the two.

It could be one of the two.

Whatever gets you, whatever gets you off.

You know what I like about that song, the band song, is you watch a video of that?

It's the fucking drummer doing that.

He's like, playing the fucking drums.

He's singing it.

It's crazy.

Oh, it's the drummer.

It's the drummer.

It's the fucking drummer the whole time.

I like.

I love a drummer and singer.

Absolutely.

That's cool.

It's so hot.

You know what I like about that song?

Now, wait a minute, Chester.

I like that part.

And then he tries to tell him to kill a dog or something.

Or like,

now, no, like, oh, yeah.

He's like, take the dog.

And he's like, no, wait a minute, Chester.

And his voice kind of sounds funny.

But he's saying to take the dog and not kill it.

Right.

Anyways, what a time that was in American culture.

All right.

Back to Mexico.

Back to Mexico.

So you say that there's,

but imagine the tacos are fucking out of this world.

Out of this world.

I'm sure you guys have talked about it a million times, but are you a corn or a flower?

Corn 100%.

Flower.

Flower.

Yeah.

I prefer a flower, but there, love a corn.

Right.

The best corn tortilla I've had was in Mexico.

Yeah.

I went to a place called Pujol in Mexico City, one of the best restaurants in the world.

I know the reputation.

And there's like, they have some, they had like ant larva and one of the things.

Whoa.

And I like wouldn't.

Interesting.

Bugs are like the line for me.

I don't like bugs.

I don't like chapolinas and stuff like that.

I don't want to eat stuff like that too much.

I'll eat a bug.

Yeah, we know.

I'm not surprised by that if you just brought that up out of nowhere.

If you said, I eat a bug, I believe you.

I'm not a bug guy.

Yeah.

Like,

Deus or we ought in bugs.

Amelia, I feel like you eat bugs.

Yes, to bugs.

Okay.

I think it kind of depends on the context.

Yes, to bugs.

If it looks like a bug, I probably will have a hard time eating.

Right, right.

Okay.

But it's like mixed in texturally, probably okay.

I just, I just need to take a timeout here.

Amelia went, yes to bugs, and then put her mic down.

She was

dropped.

Honestly, that felt felt very right.

Felt very good.

So, like, if like, I've had like a mealworm snack before.

I don't like, if it's like a critter that's moving, I don't want anything moving in my mouth.

I think, I don't want anything moving in my mouth, but that's a different conversation.

But I think, I think they're so, like, Amelia's fine, just like any sort of bug.

Emma sounds like more, you're more into kind of like a snow piercer sort of situation.

Like, maybe you don't know it's there.

Casey, where are you at with bugs?

Uh, I have no interest in eating bugs until like society deems it's the only protein.

Like,

We must eat bugs.

Yeah, we must eat bugs.

Get rid of my boy.

That's full-on snow piercer.

I am a

this is the thing.

My big thing is, and I've, I've read this before, there's speculation that the reason that people like, you know, like crispy snacks like crackers and chips is because bugs are such a, bugs are crunchy and they're so nutritious.

And so we eat a lot of bugs in the wild.

So we've been conditioned to like them.

But anytime I've had like a bug with a little bit of texture, like, yeah, like a, like Chapu Linas or something like that, that, I'm like, okay, I like this.

I like the crunchiness to it.

I don't mind that there's maybe some legs or something.

Like that's why I'm, but once we start dealing with bugs, bugs are like mushy and bugs, or I'm sorry, not bugs, worms.

Worms are like mushy, and that to me is gross.

That's the line.

Crunchy, crunchy, I'm fine with mush.

I'm not.

Well, the worm I had, that little earthworm was like, it was crunchy, just to be clear.

It was like these little.

I'd probably be fine with that.

I don't, I don't, no, no, no bugs.

No, I don't need to eat a bug.

When I was young, when I was a young boy, I remember I I was at my grandma's house and I had a Coca-Cola Coke heavy.

Yeah.

And I took a sip of it and there was a carpenter ant and it was squirming around in my mouth.

Oh, yeah, you don't want that.

And then also the same thing kind of happened with a fly at one point.

So I, I, I, you know.

Well, hard swallow or no?

No, no, I, I, I spit it out, but like, just the fact that it was in my mouth.

That was crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That did it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I, yeah, you don't want to surprise bug.

Yeah.

Obviously, I want to know I'm eating bugs.

Right.

I want the choice.

I want the choice to eat a bug.

Yeah.

Do you know what the issue was?

I looked and uh, I was sitting next to Michigan J Frog.

And so when the fly, fucking

forget the forget it.

Forgotten.

Easy.

Forget free.

Thank you.

Our coach got swapped.

You know, you got

also kind of a, we were talking about him earlier, so a little bit of a callback.

Yeah, it's a little bit of a callback.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He got handsy with the fly.

So it's not easy to get weed in Mexico, though, or it is.

Whoa.

So it's not legal there.

Come on.

All right, Green.

It's, I think if you,

it's not legal there.

Yeah.

But if you want it, you can get it.

Right.

And do you want it?

I haven't gotten it.

But you like to,

you like to smoke some weed.

I'm groovy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, but I, but I'm not like, it's not a part of it.

Although it's by the beach, it feels like, but I don't want to risk

getting in trouble.

Right, yes.

Yeah, you don't want to get arrested in a foreigner.

But yeah, I don't want to.

And it's a lot on the streets of like, hey, do you want like,

do you want weed?

Do you want blow?

Like, it'll slowly, like, as you walk away, people will get more intense about, um,

or maybe more specific about all the drugs that they have

and are selling.

So I, I haven't, I, I think you can get it, but it's not legal.

And it's not a thing like

you don't like need it.

You're not like someone who's like, I got to get into the fucking aisle.

Yeah.

I don't, I'm not like, oh my gosh, this sucks.

It's like,

okay, great.

Yeah.

That's fine.

Yeah.

Sip a marg.

Yeah.

Have a good time.

Sip a marg.

Where are you on?

Like, like, so American fast food obviously is going to have a presence in every country on earth.

Do you see American chains in Puerto Vallarta?

You better believe it, boys.

You better believe it.

We have Domino's.

We have Burger King.

We have McDonald's.

Wow.

Okay.

We have

Subway.

Wow.

Where did we lose to some things?

But yes, I.

It does suck that you came back here to do Subway.

No, this is what it's about.

I went to their Subway.

They have, okay, I found this very impressive.

They have a two-bagger, meaning

their paper bags you can fit two foot longs in.

Wow.

And they're not foot foot longs.

I forget what they are.

Six inches?

No, no, I forget what their measurement is.

Oh, because they have the metric system.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Well, that's very dumb of me.

I shouldn't know what it is.

18 centimeters?

What's the math?

Something like that?

Yeah, I think something like that.

But they have,

you can fit two subs in a bag.

It's pretty cool.

30 centimeters.

30 centimeters.

That was way off.

Yeah.

Yeah, nice trywalks.

Nice try, idiot.

30 centimeters.

Yeah.

That's 30 centimeters is a foot long?

It It says 12 inches is 30.48 centimeters.

Okay, so two, roughly two and a half, slightly over 2.54 centimeters in an inch.

So yeah.

Yeah.

I'll be your international,

international chewest bondet.

Let me bring, let me bring up some things.

They had,

they also have waffle cut fries there.

Okay.

They have wait at Subway?

At Subway.

So you get a 30 centimeter 30 centimeter sub and waffle cut fries.

Yeah, and you can also get chicken nuggets.

They got nugs.

They got nugs.

They got nugs.

Wow.

What other...

They have like fun.

I forget what other.

I only get the veggie there.

Yeah, sure.

Because basically, that's what you can get.

Do they still get the fucking veggie patty?

That's what they used to have.

I don't know.

I was never a veggie patty.

Me neither.

I think those are gross.

Their bread is so

good.

It is so good.

We're talking Mexican Subway.

We're talking Mexican Subway.

Wow.

It It was, it felt so fresh and so delicious.

And so

I could, for days, I would be talking about this bread.

Wow.

It was so good.

It must be different from our guys' bread.

It 100% is.

Do they have Jared's 140 centimeter size pants in the wall?

Year.

They do not.

Isn't that crazy?

I guess he's still canceled down in Mexico.

I think things are going to be

changed.

I guess he can't go to another country and, you know, Jared is enjoyed anywhere else.

Well, maybe they just have a different Jared.

They might have a different Jared.

Yeah.

Oh, that's cool.

No.

That's cool to think about it.

They have a different Jared.

I mean, a good Jared.

Yeah, Pablo never got canceled.

Pablo never got lost on the way.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's great.

And yeah,

he's a good man.

Yeah.

Bring him up here.

Bring us Pablo.

Stop Hogging Pablo south of the border.

They should just get a new Jared.

Just get a new Jared.

Someone else will lose weight from Subway.

Right?

Just get a new Jared.

Get a new Jared.

I've been looking at him.

Me?

Yeah.

You'd be a great Jared.

I don't want to be Jared.

You'd be a great Jared.

Are we going to find some things?

What?

I don't want to be the new Jared.

It's way too big of a shoe to be.

I'm just calling.

It's not going to be me.

Why not?

You're fat.

You could be the new Jared.

I know I'm fat, but come on.

You ain't.

Oh my gosh, you guys.

Fine.

No one is the new Jared.

Yeah.

No one's the new Jared.

Oh, God.

This is how we do it.

They'd probably do a Lady Jared these days.

Yeah.

Oh,

oh,

sucks.

Fucking Lady Jared.

What'd you say?

The scream-ass lady.

She was being set up to be the new Jared when that scandal broke.

Like, whew, dodged the bullet.

We dodged that.

I went to

Where did I go to Burger King before I came up doing a little research for you boys?

Don't worry.

They have Gouda rings there.

Gouda rings.

Yes.

Like onion rings of children.

Wow.

Yes, my friend.

Yes, yes, yes.

And what they also have.

Although Betsy, I was staying with Betsy while I'm here.

They also have breakfast, but they have breakfast up here, too.

They do too, yeah.

Oh, okay.

Never mind then.

God, what a party, a party house you must have right now.

You and Betsy and Gilly living it up.

Absolutely.

Have you guys ordered Taco Bell at all yet?

Sadly, no.

And I do miss Taco Bell.

Yeah.

Like even being, because it's different.

Should be so offended.

Can you believe it?

Taco Bell is different.

It is there.

No.

Well, I've, no, I'm saying their idea of Mexican food.

No, I looked up at Taco Bell and it's like two hours away from

no, of course there's not.

But I'm saying coming back here, I miss Taco Bell.

It's not myself.

I'm excited to get Taco Bell.

It's a joke.

It's Taco Bell.

Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, they also have a party bucket

that has, what does it have?

Fries,

cheese bites.

Fun.

There's a lot of things.

Let's see.

They have the long rodeo.

I don't know what's in that.

Is that like the that's like the rodeo burger, but it's a long boy?

It's a long boy.

Yeah, is that what it is?

It does sound fun.

They did something like that at one point.

Yeah.

Oh, did they?

The long chicken sandwich.

That's what I wonder.

Is it a long patty like the long chicken sandwich, or is it two like burger patties kind of overlapping on a sub-roll

i have a picture of i don't know a cheesy hashbrown sticks is that here i don't know about that yeah it sounds good yeah doesn't that sound good oh and of course uh churros they have wow not and not too bad they do have churros here now and they're actually pretty decent really yeah they do

they brought them in for the adams family and then they kept them around for the adams family yeah there's like an adams family tie-in i think what it was is that they wanted to get the wednesday license and then they couldn't so they're like let's get the adams family license

And so they released the Adams family, but they had like a Wednesday purple whopper

to tie in with the Addams family.

And Churros.

And Churros, yeah.

I think they were Gomez's churros.

I don't remember exactly what it was.

Oh, were they Gomez?

I think so.

Thing had something, right?

They had Thing fries.

Thing fries.

Or was it Thing Onion Rings?

Maybe they were Thing Onion.

You know what I think they were?

I think they were Thing Frings.

Oh, Thing Fries.

I think they were fries and onion rings together.

Oh.

Yeah.

Oh, maybe

this is like part of.

okay.

Okay.

But I don't know.

The true, the churros, I imagine that the Mexican Burger King is, of course, going to be a little bit better.

I want to ask you something about it.

I can talk about Mexico all day.

Okay.

But I do want to ask you about something else before we get into Subway.

Okay.

I have just re-watched the four Picard Star Trek movies.

Okay.

Now I know you're a checkie.

Do you have any thoughts on because I was re-watching them?

Generations.

Drew more of a Trekkie.

Drew is.

Drew is, yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Generations better than I remembered.

Um, first contact, a fucking banger, just like maybe my favorite overall Trek movie.

Okay, Insurrection, about the same as I remember as hoping to be better, but it is a little bit boring, and then Nemesis worse than I remember.

Nemesis is just fucking awful.

Okay, and you cannot believe how fucking boring that movie is.

Okay, they're all kind of boring except for first contact, which is just a fucking triumph.

It's so good, yeah.

But do you like, do you, do you like any of the pictures?

I have a confession.

Yeah, I've never seen a Star Trek movie except for the JJ reboots of them.

You should, you should.

I saw the new three new ones when they came out and I was like, whatever.

I would say watch just First Contact among the Picard movies because I think that stands on its own.

I don't think you have to watch any of the next generation to understand it.

It's just like a good, like, science fiction story.

What about Wrath of Kong?

Wrath of Kong is awesome.

Those are all, I mean, like, I would say watch all of the original movies.

That's six movies, though.

That's a big commitment.

Of the Picard movies, I think you only have to really watch First Contact, but First Contact is awesome.

It's so good.

Yeah.

And the JJs are whatever.

But, but, like, did you like it?

Do you have any of the Picard, any favorites among the Picard?

It seems like you're familiar with JJ taking over Star Wars.

I said, whatever.

Okay.

JJ's Star Wars are also whatever.

Okay.

What do you want from me?

No, you're good.

Rise of Skywalker is bad.

Yeah, it was terrible.

Yeah, so is Force Awakens.

Well, we differ there, but that's

out of your mind.

That's not also not a JJ movie.

Oh, right.

I'm sorry.

I was.

Wait, no, Force.

Last Sheddy.

No, Force Awakens.

Force Awakens is whatever.

Force Awakens is whatever.

Rise of Skywalker is bad.

Last Shedai I like.

Okay.

The JJ.

Both of them rock hard.

It's amazing.

Nick, I wish I could hold court with you,

but I can't.

Yeah.

Like, I also, in fairness, I just watched these.

I watched all four of these in the past week, so they're pretty fresh in my brain.

Yes.

I am more a dating, such a

person who loves diehard.

And this is like,

it's so sad that he's not here.

You'd be so disappointed.

Also, the amount of information that's in my head about this.

But

I can't pull them up.

Right.

Well, First Contact is the Borg one with Zephyr from Cochran, where they're doing like the, they're going back in time.

And

it's like the moment they had first contact with the Vulcans.

It's really good.

I am.

I am praying that I get diarrhea again.

Jamie and I are over here.

We don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

You've absorbed, though, a lot of Star Trek.

Do you have like a favorite Star Trek character?

I know you met some of the cast.

I did

famously on the cruise.

Yeah.

Jimmy and I at the same time.

No, I would never do a cruise.

We just were talking about this today.

Yeah, that is wild timing.

We just were talking about the Doughboys cruise.

If we would do a Doughboys cruise, and I said, like, like, you know, five, like, Wags locked on a ship for five days with our listeners.

He would love to do that.

He's like, never going to do that in a million years.

Jack Allison said the boat would sink.

Yeah.

We have our natural eight jokes that will probably

run out of food.

It would turn cannibalism was another one.

There was a lot of stuff on there.

Those are people who have fun.

I think that would be so fun because the thing about a cruise is like, you have to, you like,

it's about the clientele that goes.

So if there's a common, like, good, such as the Star Trek Who's was, of like people who are like, I'm friendly, and like,

it's all about love and like one common good.

So, I think you would have, I think the Doughboys fans would be, it would be a fun

cruise to to go on.

I'm sure that we have to do the podcast.

You would have to, of course, yeah, that's what we have to do, like five of us, we would have to do your job, yeah, we'd have to.

We have to do the podcast,

have to do like an improv show or something.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There'd be a bunch of shows.

It would be entertaining.

Yeah.

It just seems so depressing that they would be in like whatever, Bahamas, and we'd be like in a little thing in the ship doing our show.

It's just something that's not.

Well, you don't have to pour and then do it.

It's like

when you're like just traveling from one to another.

So we only have to do like two or three shows?

A few shows, yeah.

And then it also depends on who you're with.

You would have to like get like some fun, what would be a fun like partnership.

Yeah, you'd get you'd get other people to do it.

You'd get other podcasters to do it.

You'd get like other comedians to do a stand-up stage.

Then you do like a fucking...

I was on Jordan Jesse Go.

Our buddy Jesse Thorne was talking about going on the Joco cruise and was saying like they had like a, you know, like a like a live band karaoke or something.

There's just activities going on.

Yeah, you just make a figure out shit to keep people occupied.

But we're never doing it.

I will never in a million years go on.

I know you won't.

I know you won't.

I mean, like, we can, we can blue sky this all we want.

It's never going to happen.

I will never, ever do it.

You will never do it because it's scary, or

all the details of it are

just a nightmare.

The details I'd love.

I would never get on one of those boats.

You want to get on one of those fucking boats.

You want to go on a boat, go out to sea, and come back?

What are we talking about?

I will say,

I was right there with you.

I'm claustrophobic, not interested,

but I did enjoy myself.

Yeah.

But it was more than that.

Once we hit international waters, it's fucking on.

I would fucking throw you overboard overboard so fucking fast.

You'd be fucking gonzo.

Good luck.

I'm fucking heavy.

Throw your back out.

Yes.

I don't care.

My back hurting for the rest of my life would be nice to know that you fucking sunk like a stone to the bottom of the fucking Mariana Trench or wherever the fuck we were.

I wonder if you could lift me up.

Do you think you could lift me up?

100% I could lift you.

You can live me up.

You don't think I'm strong?

You have to prove it.

You have to prove I'm a thick boy.

If I'm trying not to be lifted, do you think you can lift me up?

If you're trying not to be be lifted i mean it would be harder but do you want we should testify you don't have to say but how how much do you weigh and you do not have to say i will say i i i weigh myself every day i but this morning i weighed in at 205.4.

okay so you know i'm and with a little subway mix in yeah i'm just over a cruiser weight a cruiser i'm i'm like a cruiser weight the threshold is like 205 so i'd be in the i'm i'm just barely in the heavyweight division what does that mean oh yeah what is you sure your belly wasn't on the towel rack like homer

can you lift that

You have to prove it.

100% I can lift you up.

It's just funny for you to sink to the bottom and then there's like an angler fish.

You're like, hi, buddy.

Like

the AI boy just surviving.

A bunch of angler fish just come up.

They surface.

That was good.

It's either now or later, but you have to prove it.

Are you going to try to lift me?

Where do we go to get on camera?

Now we're later.

Now we're talking.

Here we go.

All right, wait, let's, Emma's got got to adjust the camera real quick.

Okay.

Casey's got it.

Oh my gosh.

Do you want to stretch or anything or warm up?

See, is that table in the way?

Oh my god.

Yeah, what can I do to

because we're doing like a power ball?

I could, like, of course,

if I'm assisting you, ready?

Yeah, go for it.

One, two.

Wow.

Wow.

Did you love that approaching him from behind and just picking him up?

It felt hot.

Look, even if I was hired right now, you'd have no idea.

That was impressive.

That was impressive.

You're a strong guy.

To be honest, how do you feel?

I feel like

my back is going to hurt later.

You had a tight grip on my midsection.

You nearly went for it.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

I liked it.

I didn't want you to slip through.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I might not be the only one who's, we'll notice it with you.

I think that being like a big boy, you know, carrying around a lot of weight

does just naturally make you, you know, it makes you, you have to be kind of strong to carry, like, if you're, if you're hitting three bills, you know what I mean?

Like, you got, like, you're carrying around a lot of weight.

Yeah.

You got, you, you put on, you maybe put on body fat a little bit easier, you put on muscle a little bit easier, too.

So you're, you're just massive all over.

I'm not a strong guy.

I'm very, like uh i beat all the birthday boys at an arm wrestling yeah no way the birthday boys

those those stallions i know i know

you took down those studs one after the other i know that that's not saying much but i remember who was it i think it was like i think it was clements clem dog of course was challenging us all to arm wrestling in birds one night and i think i beat all the birthday boys but then clements it was like it was it was not easy yeah i'm not and and he's but he's a pretty good arm wrestler yeah if i remember there's also like a technique to arm wrestling that I don't know, but people can be good at arm wrestling and not be the strongest.

As much as people would think I don't have a lot of wrist strength, I know people probably think that I have very strong

wrists, but I do not.

No, fingies.

If you finger wrestle me, I'll fucking destroy you.

Thumb wrestle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thumb wrestle.

No, I have a bad at that too.

You know, when you like, there's like just got, we've talked about this before.

You meet like a guy and you like shake his hand.

You're like, That's just like a man, yeah.

And I'm just like a little boy compared to this, like, this guy who, like, like, will just like give me a shake, like, like, they'll do, like, whoa, that's a nice shake.

No, like, that's what I'm saying, but I'm saying, like, but like, oh, that was nice.

I shake Samoa Joe's hand, and you're like, I am, yeah, fucking Samoa Joe, yeah, yeah,

but there's a lot of guys like that who you're like, you're like, oh, that's like a man hand, yeah, and this isn't as much as of a man hand.

There's guys who have like man hands, and I don't have that.

I feel like a little, and I said this before, like when I, when Samo Joe was like lifting me around, I liked it because I felt, and I'm sure you maybe felt that way too.

You don't get tossed around, lifting you around.

Well, like in the in the show, he like tosses me around quite a bit.

Yeah, when you're, when you're like, like a larger person, you don't, you're not as used to that.

Now he used to pick me up when really first started dating.

She'd be like, just like, what?

Just like as a feat of strength.

Like, like, as fucking tossing you in the fucking trash.

You stay here.

Yeah.

What would be the context?

Just to like show that she could do it.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

And you liked it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well,

he also should have said that he was wearing a diaper and a bonnet.

Okay.

Yeah.

So she asserts her dominance.

Maybe one up.

That's fun.

But you know that thing of like a person who has, who has, you know, the, like a,

there's like.

they get a big grip.

They got the grip.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's not that crazy.

I boxed my dad.

Even when my dad had cancer and it was like, and like you boxed your dad with cancer?

What the fuck?

What are you talking about?

Jesus Christ.

My dad and I used to like, we used to like, we used to like pretend to fight.

And even when my dad was like, like, had cancer was like...

probably three months away from passing away he still could whip my ass he was he was he was a he was well i mean he feels like a he was he was yeah he was he was he was he was strong he was a man.

But there's also a generational thing, and I think that, you know, again, boxing and I think where there's some technique to it.

I, I, uh,

yeah, it.

I know.

My mom was mad at me with his like last week alive.

I was like, let's go right now, dude.

She's punching him in the head.

I bet he enjoyed that.

He always likes sparring with me and stuff like that.

My, my eighth grade, the only thing I may remember from my eighth grade history teacher is that he taught us all how to shake hands like a businessman, like a big strong handshake.

And I was like, this is like one of the most useful skills I learned at public schools.

See, my, my dad was always like, you give a firm handshake.

And I always have.

And I always get, especially maybe for

being a woman, but everyone's always like, whoa.

But it felt like there was an immediate like...

Shift in things.

Whoa, hey, buddy.

Come on up.

You all right, Jemmy?

Come on up, Jemmy.

Get on up.

Go ahead, good girl.

Come on.

We love you.

Because you will run into, like, you'll run into men who will try to big dick you with a big firm handshake.

You just got to match them.

You know what I like to do sometimes is I just like to do one of these.

A dead fish.

Oh, yeah.

That sucks.

Yeah.

I used to do this a lot when shaking hands.

And like make people

kiss my mouth or my hand.

My brother does that.

Like people go to shake his hand.

He just gives like the he goes like this.

Like he's like a delicate lady.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

And it's like, especially if you don't know someone, they're like, oh.

That's high society.

I think that's nice.

There's a lot of guys who will try to, yeah, like Wags is saying, they like try, they really,

it's with a thing with just men.

They just are trying to.

They're trying to, yeah, but then there's also the other thing, the other element is like sometimes it's like, oh, we're doing like a cool guy handshake.

Okay, I got to figure this out.

Okay.

I'm sure that you never really figure that out.

Yeah.

I mean, you know, whatever.

What's that?

You mean, what's the cool guy?

Well, just kind of like more one of the things.

Oh, coming in.

Like, yeah, one of these.

Yeah.

And then there's a whole thing.

See, then we get, we figure out what we're doing.

Never mind.

You're a natural oh

i think we go yeah

it depends you just got to go with the flow um but all that stuff stresses me out and i was hoping all of it would go away after covet but no that we went back to touching each other which is fine and not and going out when sick you know what i mean like he just did it no one cares anymore but look

you know what i know what i don't need a good grip on what's that a subway sub mitch Well said.

This is our fifth

subway.

Yeah.

The fourth largest fast food chain in the world.

Number one, a chain we've never tried, a chain maybe someday we'll review, maybe someday it will be in the United States.

It is a Chinese chain.

Mixuete ice cream and tea now has more locations than McDonald's and Starbucks and Subway.

Are there some in the states?

I don't think there are any in the U.S.

that I can follow.

So the impetus for this revisit is the topical Subway Doritos Foot Long Nachos.

Let me read the combo here.

Two legendary brands, Subway and Doritos, are coming together for the most iconic collaboration of the year.

Doritos Foot-Long Nachos.

So unfair to Doritos.

Available nationwide, I agree.

Available nationwide for a limited time while supplies last.

This new snack brings together the classic crunch of Doritos chips and the fresh bold flavors of Subway's beloved sandwiches for just $5.

The ingredients are: it's a baseline of nacho cheese Doritos with cheddar cheese sauce, Monterey cheddar cheese shredded, and then spicy jalapeno slices, diced tomato, red onions, and then just kind of Peter North with some zesty Baja Chipotle sauce.

You can also add rotisserie chicken or steak at no extra extra charge and also add smashed avocado for no extra charge to add them?

It comes by default with state with chicken or steak, and it's actually a hole to do to get them without an animal protein.

Oh no, which you found out, Amelia.

Yes.

So I had to go to the location and ask for no protein in person.

Yeah.

And what did they tell you?

They said, are you sure you want another one?

It's not worth it.

Is there a price difference if you don't get meat?

I don't think so.

I don't think you get a discount.

The avocado is extra, though.

Okay.

See, that feels like if you're going to remove the meat and add avocado, that should zero out.

That's usually the unspoken agreement.

If you get something veggie, you get like avocado or extra cheese.

You get something that's like.

I bet your avocado sadly is more expensive than their steak or chicken.

Right.

Than their horrible factory farmed animal protein.

Last time we re-reviewed Subway was another footlong gimmick in February of last year, 2024, Mitch.

The Cinnabon foot-long churro, the Auntie Ann's foot-long pretzel, and the foot-long cookie, the latter of which has remained on the menu.

The other two have come and gone.

And I don't think we were excited about either of those.

Those are both pretty bad.

You know, I actually kind of almost feel bad for Jared when there's a new Subway item.

Oh, my God.

You can't try it.

That's true.

Because he's in prison.

He's in prison, yeah.

So Mrs.

Foggle

has to, you know, like, you know, like, I don't know how she has to smuggle it in.

She's got to wear like a Marge Simpsons wig or something.

Yeah, right, yeah.

Because we're talking foot-long here.

It's not easy to fucking, it's not easy to sneak in a foot-long item.

Right.

Maybe

the sleeve of your shirt.

Okay.

That guy's always, he's always sneaking in a foot-long.

Okay.

So we got the Doritos foot-long steak nachos, the Doritos foot-long chicken nachos, and the Doritos foot-long nachos no menu.

Him and Defoe go to that same underwear store if you catch my drift.

I will say this:

we love nacho cheese Doritos.

Same underwear store.

We love nacho cheese Doritos.

We love nacho cheese Doritos.

A great Dorito, one of our top Doritos flavors.

Number one, maybe my number one.

I was just going to ask.

I think you like Cool Ranch.

I'm a Cool Ranch guy.

I'm a Cool Ranch, which I don't think are like bugs.

I don't think Cool Ranch Doritos are like bugs.

I don't think the crunch makes me think of bugs.

Right.

This makes me feel like you're lying.

They're not like bugs at all to me.

The great crunch of a, of a, of a cool rancher is not like a beetle to me at all.

But it's more like the Neanderthals were eating beetles, and then that got ingrained into their like, you know, they got, they got habituated to select for people who like the crunch of, who like crunchy foods.

Not my, I don't think my family ate them.

You don't think so?

You don't think the Mitchells, Neanderthals?

I don't think Neanderthal Mitchells ate the bugs.

Well, they're your grandparents, right?

Yes, my grandparents are monkey people.

You can still talk to, right?

I'm related to Bubbles.

Send me to the monkey prison.

Monkey prison?

Well, the monkey retreats.

The monkey to retreat.

Bubbles should probably be in the monkey prison, if you ask me.

Why?

Michael Jackson's accomplice?

Oh, no.

You think he knew?

I mean, Bubbles was a, I don't know.

I don't know what, but I don't know Bubbles knew.

But you know what?

I was saying how, wouldn't it be fun for the Hollywood Walk of Fame, I was saying, like, oh, you walk on Michael Jackson's star.

And I went, hee, hee.

Yeah.

Wouldn't it be fun if you paid more and you could have like a little, you could do a little sound if someone stepped on your star?

Yeah, that would be fun.

That would be fun.

I think that's fun.

They should do something.

What would yours be?

Ah, oh, fuck.

I mean, maybe that.

Oh, fuck.

Sorry.

Well, I guess would you have what would yours?

Hi, buddy.

That would probably be.

Oh, yeah, probably a hey, buddy would be most fitting.

I mean, this is us getting on the Hollywood Walk Fame, which wouldn't happen.

Which won't happen.

Yeah.

Kevin Spacey's is a let me be frank.

That's nice.

Yeah, that's good.

I thought these nachos.

So anyway, I like Doritos a lot.

And I was eating these nachos, and my immediate thought was, and Mitch, I think you had the same thought.

What were we going to say?

Stephano Merrill Monroe is like, Mr.

President, like if you could do something like that, you know what I mean?

And then there's a van underneath and blows your skirt up.

That's.

Yeah.

Hollywood Boulevard should

be having fun with it.

They should be having more fun with it.

They got to have more fun with stuff like this.

Hollywood Boulevard

sounds like if every star played a sound?

So you're just like walking down the street.

Oh, fuck.

That would be awesome.

Awesome for the residents who live there.

Why am I in the section of Michael Jackson and Kevin Spacey?

My star is next to those guys.

I mean,

Farley, like, holy shnikes.

Like, imagine how fun that would be.

Instead of in front of the husk of I.O., that's where the Chris Farley star is.

It's so sad.

Dustin Hoffman.

I'm walking here.

And you're walking there yeah

that would be an attraction come on that'd be fun what sounds in the hollywood star i know

i was just there but what um

uh because i went to the farmer's market in hollywood hello shout out fun market

what is an io now is it a is it a nightclub IO improv formerly called improv olympic this was an improv theater that was in LA on Hollywood Boulevard for many many years it is shut down God five ten years ago at this point permanently closed closed.

Oh, yeah.

It's been a while.

Yeah, it's been closed for a long time.

But the Chicago branch is where people like Chris Farley, Tina Faye, I want to say, like, like

a number of famous comedians started off with.

My team Crudd, my team Crudd,

my improv team Crudd, we went on a run at the perfectly named Andy Dick Black Boxer.

Andy Dick, another famous black box.

Yeah, the dick box.

We were in the dick box runner.

Al Pacino, she got a great big ass or whatever he says.

Good.

Yeah, I like that from heat.

Well, I guess it's a great.

I guess you can't just say she has a great big ass.

Right.

That a six-year-old girl is going to step on it.

Hoo-ah is the better.

Let's do who is.

A little safer.

And there's many more examples that we won't get into.

Right.

Wigs.

I love Doritos.

I'm the Dorito kid.

You sure are.

I never liked Subway.

My intro into Subway.

I've said this a a billion times on the podcast sorry it's boring i'll go over it again there was a subway ripoff at ithaca do you remember that the between the two towers we have the two towers at ithaca

yeah well that's wild

i forget the name of it it was like like it was just a sub subconnect sub connect yeah i think it was yeah maybe it was maybe it was like subway connection when i was there they cooled it up after i left but uh in between the two towers of ithaca and the little uh the little breezeway there so saruman's at the top of one of them and Subconnect in the middle.

And I'm the little gollum that goes down and grabs his sub from the, and it was like, that was my first, like, I'm having like a Subway shitty sub with IC points or whatever the fuck it was.

But it was, like, it was Subway branding.

I think it was, I'm not sure if it was, I think, I think it was like, I think Subway supplied them.

I'm pretty sure it was that.

situation, but it wasn't an official subway, but it tasted just like Subway.

Yeah, and you're using the, the, you're saying I see but that's like your Ithaca college currency.

Yes, they were called bonus bucks.

Bonus bucks.

Bonus bucks is what they were called.

So I'd use bonus bucks, and you get however many bonus bucks with your, you'd have however many meals or whatever.

I maxed mine out.

I got as many meals as I could.

You gotta.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Why not?

And so with bonus bucks, you would get the subway.

And I was like, okay, Subway, I've never liked it, but this is like what it tastes like.

And then when I got here, two different places when I lived down on Citrus Avenue, near Wilshire, I used to go to

Wilshire and Citrus.

You can go and look at my old place I rented at one point, 645 Cell Citrus.

And so I, when I, when I,

I would, I would go to Subway and I, and that's like when I started eating Subway.

Yeah.

And it would be the sad thing of like, I left the house today and I walked around the block and I went to Subway when I didn't know anyone here at all.

This is even before I went to UCB.

This is the Jared Origin story.

This is like a Jared.

It is a Jared Origin story.

I didn't know anyone in LA.

Like, there would be, like, I knew no one.

And then Hanford, like, my old roommate roommate Matt Grand was like, Mike Hanford's like gonna be there, and then that's when I hooked up with Hanford when we went to

UCB and stuff like that.

But I, I, like, sometimes like going outside of my house would be a win, which still, some days, as an adult now, still the same thing.

Yeah, you got to do it.

But I would like walk to Subway and get Subway and walk back.

And that's where I started to get a turkey.

Are you going to sneeze?

No.

Tuna fish sandwich.

That's actually, I might.

You just kept talking.

Like a tuna fish sandwich because my Mamie,

my grandma's sister,

she she

would make a tuna sandwich for me when I was younger, and then she got ash in it from a cigarette, and I threw up and I didn't eat it for a long time.

And so, and my mom makes a great tuna fish sandwich, but I like didn't eat tuna fish for so long.

And so, at Subway, I was eating tuna fish sandwiches again, and I get the Italian BMT.

There was another word for there was a different Italian sandwich at Subway for the spicy Italian.

Maybe it was a spicy Italian.

There's Italian BMT, a spicy Italian.

I got one of those, and then a turkey sandwich was like the bigger one.

They started, and they started to toast the sandwiches right around this time, too, which was big.

Do you remember the toast?

Yes, it was in response to Quiznos.

Yes.

And obviously.

And it destroyed Quiznos.

And they put wipe Quiznos out the face of the fucking planet.

Which I do think Quiznos is better, right?

Quiznos was better.

Yeah.

And then their quality declined as they tried to overexpand, as is always tends to be the pattern with these chains.

And then, and their secret weapon was something that was not unique to them.

Like, like, it's like anyone could just imitate that.

So, you know, it was, it was not as much of an advantage as they thought it was.

Well, right down, so there was one right by me.

There was one right by me, but then also there was one right by the birthday boys house.

And so I would, when we would meet for the birthday boys seven nights a week,

I would go and get a turkey sub.

When I was trying to eat healthy, I would get a foot-long turkey on wheat with...

Swiss cheese and I would toast it and I would just put vinegar and onions on it.

And I actually

was feeling, I had the flu last week and I couldn't eat anything.

And I got it again because it's just almost just like eating bread.

Yeah, sure.

But I did not like Subway.

And then I grew to be like, I can eat this bread, like

the toasted bread, I'm fine eating.

Besides Mexico, which now it seems like a taste of home down there, what's your history with this place?

I used to love

Subway.

And I would just get,

so I've been a vegetarian since I was a kid.

So, and there's like basically one sandwich you could get, the veggie delay.

Vegie de la But you can make it any way you want.

So, I would do a foot long, but I would have on one half just American cheese and bread and mayonnaise and mustard.

And then on the other half, I would do

the white American cheese, mayo, lettuce, tomato, onion, green bell pepper.

They recently, or I guess I should say more recently, started doing spinach, which I don't know.

I know if I like, we'll all do it.

I don't always trust their spinach.

Yeah, yeah, I feel like I've got it.

I've got a food poisoning from it.

Yeah.

Yeah, and it does, it tastes a little different.

Always ask for extra black olives.

I love olives.

Me too.

A few jalapenos in there.

Simon the heat seeker

on

wheat bread.

Wow.

Did you toast or no toast?

No toast.

No toast.

Yeah.

A veggie sandwich is tricky.

Yeah, it feels like I know you like a warm salad, but I'm not into it.

You like

some warm salad.

I don't like warm salad.

You love it.

I like a regular temperature salad.

Okay.

That's a hot cold.

No, I don't like odds.

I don't like hot salad.

So

my history with Subway is there was a time, I remember when Subway opened and it was in Lakewood, California, and it was a novelty.

And being like, oh, Subway, oh, this is cool.

This is like a new place, you know.

And I remember that being a thing.

You auditioned for Jared.

Gosh, as a child.

And I went to Subway.

It was not a place I went to frequently, but it was a place like, oh, this is a solid place I can get a sandwich.

And then what happened is that more sandwiched chains started, you know, becoming like that became a whole sector of chain restaurants.

And then basically every new entrant was just better than Subway.

Like everyone is better.

And I will say, Togos existed in Southern California before Subway, and Togo's was always better than Subway.

It was Vernon Stalin, huge Togos.

Love Togos.

Yes, Togo's.

And Chris Vernard Stalin, who did the Dough Boys art and was a member of the Birthday Boys.

And he, yeah, he loved Togos.

I think Togo's has mostly disappeared, but that was a place that was just generally better than sub.

There was one by the Birthday Boys.

There was one.

And they had Mountain Dew.

So I

did have Mountain Dew.

I love the Mountain Dew.

I wrote a monologue for Chris about how he loved Togos, and he did it at our Birthday Boy show.

And Maddie Smith, who we had on the show, got a screw.

At a screw!

It still makes me...

Still freaks me out.

A screw.

Yeah.

I got the Heimlich maneuver at a, at a Togo's.

Told this story of the podcast.

You got someone gave it to you?

My dad gave it to me.

Yeah.

I choked on pastrami.

Pastrami.

I was eight years old.

Oh.

He gave me the Heimlich maneuver in a restaurant.

People were fucking disgusted.

Wow.

Did a pastrami shoot out?

Yeah.

Did it shoot into some guy's mouth?

Oh, yeah, and he gulped it.

There's some fat guy shot into a fat guy's mouth and he gulped it.

He went, fuck bad.

Yeah, yeah.

It's basically exact verbatim what happened.

Oh, my God.

Another origin story of Jared.

That was Jared that it shot into his mouth?

Wow.

And he's like, not bad.

Wow.

How scary and you owe your life to your dad?

Yeah, I do.

Absolutely.

And more ways than one.

Yeah.

You know.

You know what I'm talking about.

I get to.

His balls.

His fucking balls.

His fucking balls.

I can't imagine what.

I don't know who I'd be hosting the show with wise if he would choked to death.

Joe Saunders.

So

damn, that's pretty good.

Wow.

So anyway.

Go back in time and tell your dad, do I convince your dad to just let it ride?

Let it ride.

Let it ride.

Your dad would probably be like,

your dad is probably contemplating it anyway.

Let your eight-year-old son asphyxiate in a restaurant.

Then plan his funeral, then continue on with the head.

All right.

Look, it would be pretty dark for me.

So anyway, your dad knew the Heimlich.

That's great.

I don't know know the Heimlich.

I was just going to ask, do either of you know the Heimlich?

Oh, 100%.

I learned it in the Boy Scouts of America.

Really?

Don't you think it's changed over years?

I don't know if they've updated the Heimlich.

Have they updated the Heimlich?

I think it's pretty.

I think it's pretty sad.

They also make things now.

My mom has one of these because if you Heimlick someone and you do it incorrectly, you only really get one shot at the Heimlich because if you do it incorrectly, it pushes the air out, but not the thing, and then there's nothing left to push it out.

But they have these things now.

They're like vacuums you like to put over someone, and it suctions everything out.

And you can do it as many times as you need.

Well, that's sick.

It's cool because we've had to Heimlick like my brother a few times, and it's terrifying.

Yeah.

Or, like, if you're with people who, like, I don't know if I, if you were choking, I don't know if I could hyme like you guys, you're bigger than me.

Like, truly, like, you have to like

people who are bigger than you.

Like, the few times we've been to do it to my brother, I'm like, scared because he's bigger than me.

So, like, oh, we gotta get these like vacuum things.

It just like sucks, sucks it out of your throat.

You guys should get one here.

We should get them for sure.

You gotta get one here for sure.

You should just put them all over our mouths when we were eating too much.

I remember, I just got a memory, like a visceral memory when I was like a toddler.

I was like three years old, like one of those, like the first things you remember.

Yeah.

I was choking

on a little hard candy in my dad's office.

My sister like ran and got him and he like ran down the hallway.

And I was like choking for a while and then he had to like Heimlick me and the candy shot out of my mouth.

I don't think my dad knew the Heimlich.

No, he just sort of did, yeah.

I think he just was just like, you know, I think he probably pushed the air out of me and then just kept it.

I think if you're like with people who are smaller than you, you have better luck.

If you're like trying to hire someone bigger than you, it's like more, there's more strategy to it, like understanding.

All this shit is so scary.

It's not scary, just your life is just always in the balance.

You can just, I can just be at home with Wally and Irma and just fucking choke on pastrami and die.

Well, you can do it very on the edge of a table for your house.

Yeah, like

a chair.

That would, that, oh my god.

When you, when you, you're that suction thing you can do to yourself.

I'll get you one.

It's actually probably pretty handy if you live alone.

Yeah.

When you does it work on other stuff?

You know?

No.

Sucking your balls out.

Next time you're constipated, so I'm not.

It's fucking disgusting.

I was going to jack off with that thing.

I should do one before the other.

Oh, yeah.

And then you try to do it to someone.

You're like, oh,

I'm so sorry.

Sorry, it's multipurpose.

Dude, that's stupid.

Who's the guest?

I got the butthead on.

All right.

We got to talk about Day Subway.

Sure, fine.

No, are you sure we can't shoot over your ass?

Here's what I will say.

I feel like that you think

you can use a vacuum to suck the shit out of you.

No more pushing.

That's what the issue is.

There's not enough air sucking it out of your butt.

I think we actually all kind of had the same reaction while we're eating these Doritos foot-long nachos.

First, they come in a big, long, skinny tray.

Yeah.

So, you know, that they, they're leaning in the foot-long gimmick needlessly.

It's just purely about presentation because there's no reason for it to be in this form factor.

It doesn't make it easier to eat or anything.

But, and if anything, makes the distribution of ingredients pretty uneven because it's just one long corridor where, you know, Mitch, there are pockets that, and and you and i are having different versions pockets with no steak pockets with no chicken you know there were like maybe four jalapenos strewn apart it it was it was pretty sparse i was pretty mad at you because you took a third of the steak nachos yeah maybe even more like half of the steak nachos who else was having them me and you but still you went a little hog you went a little you turned into a little piglet uh you were just being a little piglet that's fine

Your nose went upwards and a little tail sprung out and you were at your trough.

We're two people sharing one portion.

Yeah, and you were a little piggy oh my god you were just being a little piggy because i took half you're you're you were nice and pink pig and you were you were and you and you were you were troughing away and that's fine

you were a little piglet you look cute with your little

piglet that's what was going on here oh i'm being the piglet

oh oh okay i wanted your trough all to yourself you're mad i got a little it took a little bit extra

you had more than half of it available oh i was just saying i had no steak on it but Piggy got his steak.

You got some steaks.

There was very little steak on mine, Mitch.

The whole fucking point is there wasn't much steak on any of it.

I showed you, I had two pieces, two little fragments of steak across my whole portion.

And was Piggy happy?

Piggy was not happy.

Piggy was pretty angry.

It's so funny.

I can make a joke about you blowing your head off, but you calling

Nick a piggy.

I'm like, oh my God.

You weren't being a piggy that was very low on steak.

There wasn't a lot of steak.

Yeah.

Speaking of piggies,

she did a little snort.

Yeah, she did a little snort.

She was snorting at you, fucking piggy.

She'd be cute, little little pig costume.

She would be.

She's really cute.

Jemmy should.

Jemmy should be.

She does make little snorts sometimes.

We call her a little piggy.

You should like make these little snort now noise, and I'll be like, oh, it's a piggy.

Yeah, she is kind of a little piggy.

She's cute.

Fuck bubble.

Jimmy the bun.

I think that there was no steak.

There was not a lot of very little steak on the steak nachos.

And I do think those are my favorite, but I don't know.

The chicken ones are okay too.

It's just such low-quality meat.

And also, what is this concept?

I'm taking fucking nacho cheese and putting over nacho cheese Doritos.

I don't know.

Tony, what did you think?

Because I thought the veggie version was the best version just because the avocado is fresh.

Jiggy's not happy.

I liked the, I kind of liked the, I got to say,

they're bad, of course, but like you said, they are Doritos.

They are Doritos.

And I was one, my issue with it is that you like, I think they just toast them in the toaster oven, right?

Is that what happens?

They're never going to be like hot, but if you ate these Doritos nachos in the restaurant, which is very dire,

I think a lot of them, there's like one seat in a subway at like some locations.

Or in like a 7-Eleven or in a gas station or whatever.

Sure, yeah.

You can't eat.

you can't sit down at a lot of 7-Elevens.

I mean, sorry, at a lot of subways, and you don't want to.

Yeah.

But

I think if you ate these in your car or at the subway,

they're not that bad.

Tony, what do you think?

Wow, what a ringing endorsement.

If you ate them in your car, they'd be not that bad.

Look, I'm just saying.

This is damming.

You're just damning with faint praise.

What would you think, Tony?

I liked them.

You liked them?

Maybe because this is what I'm saying.

Maybe because it was also my first meal.

And

they,

somebody was a little late.

Do y'all know who that was?

I know.

We'll figure it out.

We'll discuss that with the show.

We'll figure out who that was.

I know you guys try so hard to get it very fresh.

Maybe I'm a time piggy.

That's me.

Waking up people's time.

It wasn't too long.

But what I'm saying is, like, I,

and God, I hate disagreeing.

I thought the foot long

made it so it felt more even to me.

I hate.

That was interesting.

Oh, I guess you guys did get some of mine, right?

Even though it was like the same.

Oh, little piggy had a lot of it.

I, well, I, I was gonna.

I surprised you to take half of it.

I did not take half.

I didn't take a half of any of them.

You took a third.

I did.

Maybe took a third.

I took a third of Tony's I did not take a third of Tony's it's ridiculous

I would have known

I'm pretty sure you took a third of it because we were splitting a thing for three people three ways so me taking a half would have been reasonable just as me taking about a half less than half of the thing that you and I were sharing was a reasonable amount for me to take I took a double uncar plot what do you want from me

I gotta ask you what are you what are you what are you doing what are you doing after the show can I take a guess are you going to market

are you going home?

Are you going to have roast beef?

Are you going to have none?

What are you going to do?

What might you say all the way home?

I'm going to say wee wee wee all the way home, right?

You happy?

Hey, in 2007, that would make sense.

Nintendo we.

Oh, my God.

Jesus

Christ, Mitch.

Mitch.

I'm.

Well, get ready.

I'm going to say switch to, switch, to switch to

the switch.

Nobody would say that.

You're not going to understand a little piggy.

Get ready, Mitch, because I love what you have to say about me.

I ate my whole thing besides the little portion that Nick took of mine.

So, what does that say?

You do not act like a little piggy in the least bit.

You are being a very normal human being.

The avocado slices, the way it was laid out in this tray, I could see everything, and it was like,

I enjoyed it.

Would I

wasn't for sure?

We're on the same page here.

i i think that they're okay okay i it wouldn't be

i'm trying to think would i go and get this like

no because it's like i don't want like dorito's chips with all of the stuff but i was shocked at how much I did enjoy it.

Like, even if it was like a little bit later, like the chips were still crunchy.

It was a little bit cold, but I still enjoyed it and like gobbled it right on up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've enjoyed enjoyed it.

At the end of the day, it is a bunch of different components that are generally good on their own.

So you mix them together, it makes sense.

What are you going to say, man?

Right.

Yeah.

I am, I'm the Dorito kid.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

And

what was this?

I pulled out two Doritos, I guess.

I don't know.

I love Doritos.

Doritos can't do.

I like the only promotional thing with Doritos we haven't liked is like the stuffed Doritos.

Remember, Remember, I think 7-Elevenman had them, and those were just downright bad.

You should visit the Doritos After Dark at the crypto.com arena because I, you know, that's a, I went to a Lakers game with our friend of the show past guest, Dave Schilling, and he got a, um

uh he got a a some sort of Euro from the Doritos.

It looks like you're holding an orb.

I couldn't, I'm kind of, I'm kind of got orbs on the brain, um, but I, he was like, he's holding, he got a fucking Euro from the Doritos lounge, and all it was was just a standard Euro with Doritos just like nacho cheese Doritos thrown on top of it.

I'm so sad that you're so half-assed.

If nine-year-old Wager or nine-year-old Mitch heard you saying,

like, he got a Euro from the Doritos Lounge, they'd be like, oh my God, the future fucking rules.

Yeah, exactly.

It's so fucking bad.

It's so bad.

It should be so much better.

Like, it should be, the Doritos Lounge should be great, but it's just a dull apocalypse.

Yeah,

yeah.

But I think that this is as far as Doritos.

Look,

Doritos are good on the Dorito Kid.

Doritos are good.

The Dorito Kid.

On the Dorito Kid.

On the Dorito Kid.

And I think putting on jalapenos, putting on cheese sauce, heating it up in the toaster oven.

I do like Doritos.

I would give me a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos over this.

Yes, of course.

But I'm not going to say I wasn't having fun eating those nachos.

Okay.

Here's my here's first off.

I did like the jalapenos on there.

I'm some something of a heat seeker.

They got good jalapenos at the same time.

Yes, the jalapenos are good.

It breathed a lot of life into it.

Wouldn't this have been a little bit better with just plain tortilla chips, just salted corn tortilla chips?

I don't.

I actually don't

eat it.

You don't think so?

I think that the way that they make it, which Amelia told us, which is insane, is that they go and grab a bag of Doritos from

the

individual bag.

Yeah, an individual bag from the chips.

Really?

And they open it and pour it into the sleeve.

And they do that for each bag of Doritos, which is insane.

Yeah, because it's just engineered to like, what do we actually have in store already?

How can we rearrange these components into a new dish?

So the markup,

they're actually, for what they are, five bucks is not bad for what you get.

That's not like they put a little bit of meat on there.

I mean, like, for them, though, it's like a bag of Dreadles is 99 cents or something.

So it's a markup of $4, basically.

Well, I don't know what I mean.

They're paying less than 99 cents per bet per unit.

Sure, sure.

Yeah, there's no way you're paying $1 per bet.

All right.

You get what I'm saying, though.

But I'm saying

the price isn't bad, but there is probably huge markup with just adding the cheese and their cheap meat and not a lot of it or whatever.

That maybe is why they only add like one piece of chicken.

Right.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They probably say keep it skimpy.

Yeah.

I guess here's what I will say in defense of the Doritos foot-long nachos.

They were way the fuck better than my sandwich, which was awful.

I got the hot honey pepperoni sandwich, which was, I think, legit disgusting.

This was a pepperoni.

First off, hot honey is just done.

This is the official death knell of hot honey that hot honey is on the menu at Subway.

You know that just hot honey is over, right?

The point when hot, it's like we saw the same cycle happen with sriracha.

Once Jack in the Box has a sriracha menu, it's done.

It's over.

It's just completely exhausted.

The premise has reached its end point.

Anyway, this is hot honey sauce

with pepperoni and 2x provolone cheese on Italian herbs and cheese bread topped with lettuce, tomatoes, red onions, and the hot honey sauce.

A lot of hot honey sauce on there, I will say.

They were really, really generous with their drizzle.

And

I just thought this was

like, I get this.

Despite it being exhausting, I do kind of still like hot honey.

I've enjoyed hot honey pizzas I've had.

I think it has its place, but I thought this execution of it was

it tasted just putrid.

I think it was a combination of the provolone and like the provolone was not quite the right cheese

in combination with the sweetness.

And then what was really disgusting was all the honey-covered vegetables.

Like honey and lettuce and tomatoes was just like a gross combo.

I just, I really did not like eating this at all.

And at a certain point, I just had to assemble it and just kind of like eat some of the protein.

Well,

it sounds like you fucked up putting lettuce on there.

I got it exactly the way that it comes, man.

They recommended it.

I did it the exact way that it comes.

All right.

I made no alterations to their version of it.

They're like, like, this is the hot honey pepperoni that we have created.

They have curated.

This is our LTO.

Here is how we prefer it to be served.

That's how I got it.

And you know what?

It was fucking bad.

I didn't like it.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

What are you going to do about it?

He's mad at me for calling him a piggy.

And I'm sorry.

Really?

I think he's mad I call him a piggy.

But I think you're a great piggy.

You're a son pig, like Charlotte's West.

If we're on fucking Lord of the Flies, Mitch, there's a piggy there, and it's not going to be me.

I'll tell you that much.

Someone's getting a boulder push onto them, it's not me.

Someone's getting their glasses broken, it's not me.

I don't wear glasses, except sometimes

you fucking, oh, yeah, yeah.

You saw what I did to you earlier.

I could lift you up.

You could lift me up.

Yeah.

So if we're on Lord of the Fry situation, you fucking Lord of the Fries.

You said

Freudian

If we're Lord of the Fries, we will reign supreme.

Yeah,

we're not piggy on fucking Lord of the Flies.

You're fucking piggy.

Don't call me piggy.

You're piggy.

You're piggy.

You're piggy.

Boys, boys.

You're both piggy.

No need to fight.

You can both share the title.

Wait, what bread was it on?

Italian herbs and cheese.

Again, they're recommended bread.

And is that your, but would that be something that you would get at Subway?

I would, I, these days, I would never get something from Subway unless this was the only option and I just was needed food because I was getting lightheaded.

But if I was going to get a sandwich from Subway, I would probably get something akin to what you got, Mitch.

I would probably get a tuna sandwich on wheat, but you got a tuna wrap.

I got a tuna wrap.

A tuna wrap.

Swimming in the ocean in the sea.

That's a

fuck.

tuna wrap for me.

Thank you.

I could have finished it.

100%.

Tuna wrap.

It's the tuna wrap.

My heart wasn't in it.

No.

I'm still scarred from you calling me Piggy on Lord of the.

You called me Piggy first.

I did.

And I stand by it.

Oh, you stand by it.

Yeah.

I'm not a piggy.

I'm a man.

You are.

You are a man.

You're a man.

And sometimes you're a little piggy.

Okay.

Look, things are getting too heated with the piggy situation.

Okay.

I got a tuna wrap.

Swimming in the sea, that's what I see.

Nice.

I used to be able to rhyme.

I haven't done like, I haven't done like a improvised, like whatever, rap.

What is it?

You don't need to.

What is that?

No, what is it?

There's like some rap, they're an improv where you rap and rhyme, right?

Isn't there like a rhyming improv?

Freestyle?

Yeah, there's like a freestyle or like a musical improv sort of thing, right?

Sure.

You ask, but what are you doing?

I'm saying, isn't there like shows like that where where you like do basically our records, yeah, but you've never done them.

No, I don't do them.

Do you do them ever?

No, okay, all right, yeah.

I'm not, I used, but I used to be able to do that.

I'm saying how when would you do that?

People used to get me to freestyle when I was younger.

When, where, at a party, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was gonna say, how much alcohol before you started.

I thought when I was like decent at it, I used to be able to rhyme off the top of my head.

I can't do it anymore.

My rhyming ability has gone away.

Okay.

But

look, I had a tuna rap.

I had a tune to wrap.

No, no, no, no, no.

I had tuna, lettuce, tomato, onion,

vinegar and oil, and pickles, and salt and pepper, and banana peppers.

Wow.

And I got that in a wrap.

I

thought this would be an easy,

like a simple, good thing.

Right.

But it still sucks.

Yeah, it's going to be fucking bad.

What do you mean?

Why did it suck?

I don't know if, I don't know if it's that thing with some way where I'm like, maybe I do like the, like, maybe that shitty bread is like, I kind of just like eating the bread a little bit, but I, I, like, the rap, I was like, I was just like tasting,

I was full on tasting like just like the boring ingredients of the wrap.

Like, you know what I'm saying?

Like,

I was tasting the boring ingredients of the wrap.

And I,

and

like, when they're just standing on their own, and you're, you're like, that's all you're tasting?

It's so, it's bad.

What's the, do we know the calorie difference between like a wheat bread and a wrap?

I don't know.

It's like half that.

I think it's half that.

Is it half?

Oh, wow.

It is like, it's about half that.

What kind of like wheat bread?

It's like louch bread, right?

Is that how you say it?

Yeah, I don't, because, cause I've,

I know in Jersey Mics, the calorie count is surprisingly similar between the wrap and the bread.

Yeah, maybe what I'm thinking.

You'd expect there to be caloric savings going over to the wrap, but it's still pretty, you know, you got a flour tortilla or whatever the fuck, it's still going to have a lot of calories, a lot of carbs in it.

In a white wrap, it says there's 210 calories.

In the wheat wrap, there's 230, and in the nine-grain wheat wrap, there's 250.

Okay.

I wonder if that compares to the bread.

The bread, I think it says a six-inch is 180, and nine-inch is 210.

So I'd assume a 12-inch.

I don't know why they gave a nine-inch.

I assume a 12-inch is probably twice that.

So it's definitely a little bit.

Just curious.

Just curious.

looking in the ocean what do i see a tune of fish swimming right at me i cast my line and i reel it in and now i got a great din din yes

that's and you're back baby and you're back he's still pissed i called him piggy mitch that sucks that was really bad

You're mad I called you Piggy.

I am mad.

Needlessly, we were sharing something.

I'm joking around.

I was joking.

I was trying to get you mad.

You're not a piggy.

You got me mad.

I know.

Congratulations.

Yeah, now the thing happened and you're upset by it.

You got what you wanted.

You're not a piggy.

Okay.

You dork.

I was making fun of you.

I don't think you're a piggy.

The dachos weren't even that good.

There was stuff we threw away.

Yeah, I know.

It was bad.

It sucked.

I cleaned mine out.

We also got a cookie box.

Let me just tell.

This was a highlight for me.

Oh, the subway cookies are not bad.

Do you like them?

They have a specific subway cookie taste,

which isn't necessarily bad.

And when they bake them in store, boy, howdy, they're intoxicating.

I had the white,

the macadamia nut and white chocolate.

I like white chocolate.

You guys like white chocolate?

Not the biggest white chocolate cookie.

Where you are.

Whatever white cocks.

You're not pink anymore.

You're red.

You're red mad.

I'm doing fine.

We're having fun.

We're having a good time.

We're having a good time.

And I tasted.

My rap sucked.

Let's see you rap, fucking Mr.

Rapper.

I didn't want to rap.

Well, yeah.

I didn't say it was Mr.

Rapper.

Let me guess.

Oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink.

There's your rap.

Bitch, pick a lane.

She's gonna be mad or not.

Jesus.

Oh my god.

I thought I liked them, but it wasn't, I couldn't do a whole cookie.

And it does have just a very specific like taste to them.

It's definitely got like artificial taste.

Yeah, the artificial taste.

Yeah, for sure.

I didn't know I would get you so mad if I call you piggy.

Of course.

Fine.

Everything's fine.

I didn't know I'd get you mad.

I'd call you piggy.

I got you mad because I called you piggy.

piggy i'm not mad it's fine you got mad we're having fun

look

i'm not mad it's fine

i'm not mad moving on let's review the sandwiches you're mad i'm not mad all right good uh

look

the nachos were i thought were pretty good and they were the star of the show for me me.

Can I say that?

What about the cookies?

Yes.

Yes, what about the cookies?

The cookies were good.

They're fine.

I mean, like,

was it Andre Highland who said that they should just be like a cookie store?

Yeah, sure.

But

like why subs now?

They don't, like, they're, they've, they've lost to Jersey Mics.

They're, they're not, no one,

I mean, look, look.

I think maybe Price Point is probably still maybe the best at Subway.

It's still not that cheap anymore.

Sure, yeah.

It's not.

I was shocked.

The $5 nachos instead of

the $5 foot longs are now the nachos, basically.

You look, if you're, you could, like, a kid could get full from the $5 nachos and they'd probably like love, like, love it as like an indulgent lunch.

You know what I mean?

But it's like, it's also, that's not going to be your, you're probably not going to be a full meal for an adult.

Yeah.

I was going to say the

what?

What's what's going on?

Nothing.

What's going on?

I just.

He's thinking of when he can slip it in and also

and also

like

is feeling how upset

i think it's i just want to say i think it's funny

it's funny that i called you piggy and got you so mad that you said my fish wrap suck

I think that was

like, like,

here's where I was trying to land about an hour ago.

The Doritos foot-long nachos.

I feel like we all had the same reaction, which is how much better would this be if Taco Bell did this exact same gimmick?

Like, their kitchens are prepared for doing nachos.

Yeah.

They have great nachos.

I see what you're saying.

Yeah, but I mean, like, that's what I'm saying.

Like, imagine that.

What is this step that we're doing?

Hey, imagine Taco Bell is introducing our Doritos foot-long nachos.

That's just the gimmick we're doing.

We're doing foot-long nachos, and it would just be a better execution all around.

Every element would be more satisfying.

And I think that's what we're dealing with here is like, yes, they've cobbled together something, appropriating like a gimmick, you know, trashy indulgence from their existing,

you know, inventory, but it's, I don't know, is this a thing you're going out of your way for?

Is this a thing we're excited about?

Yeah, it does feel like a step of like, and knowing how they fix it now.

Yeah.

It's just like, oh, okay.

But it does feel like, what are we doing?

Yeah, what are we doing?

What is that?

I don't, yeah, I don't know.

But I, but I do agree with both of you

that it was fun.

It was fun.

And it was like, even though I didn't love it, it was better.

I thought I expected this to be gross and it was better than

I expected, which is maybe why I took so much of it.

Oink, oink, I'm a little piggy.

I was going to say,

you surely had to appreciate that it was served in a trough.

Wages, you weren't a piggy.

Yes.

I never thought you were being piggy.

I do think that there was no meat,

steak meat.

There was very little steak.

I got a chunk of chicken when I ate the chicken ones, but

there was literally no steak.

There was no smashed avocado either, which is what we originally were trying to get.

Yeah,

and I will say the slices look good.

They do look good.

The avocado tastes good, too.

Yeah.

Those workers there did a good job presenting these.

yeah.

Um, so

there's no sour cream, no sour cream.

No, that's another thing.

If this was Taco Bell, they'd have fucking sour cream, we'd be absolutely.

I'm sorry, so now they do have nacho cheese, or has Subway always had nacho cheese?

That's a great question.

Maybe that is the one new component.

I feel like they've had nacho cheese for other sandwiches, yeah, because they have some other ones that are like that, but I can't claim to be familiar enough with their menu.

Well, don't claim it now.

Look,

time has just passed, Taco Bell.

Bye.

I think Subway.

Sorry.

Oh my God.

I truly was taken back.

I

the man.

Look, let's get to our final thoughts while Mitch recovers.

We're each going to say our closing argument on Subway and give it a score from zero to five forks.

Tony, you know the show.

Are we speaking just about the nachos?

I think you can talk about the whole visit.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Yes, yes, yes.

What are your thoughts on Subway?

Your thoughts, your fork score.

I'm going to give,

I will say

with the caveat of I've been on, I don't know why, but a Subway tear.

And I think I'm at the end of it, but this has been for two years now.

When I'm traveling, I'm like, oh, I want Subway.

And it's not like a taste of like home or something, but there is something where I'm like, I want Subway.

And I don't know.

And I'm not proud of it necessarily.

but uh, you can get a veggie sandwich, uh, which is nice, but there's not a lot of bells and whistles, right?

Uh, the nachos, I did enjoy bell peppers,

bell peppers and whistles.

Uh,

uh,

I got pickle whistles, and I have no idea.

Yeah, pickle whistles, pickle whistles, pickle whistles.

Um,

I'm going to say,

and I did like the nachos.

Um, would I go there again for that?

Absolutely not.

I'm going to say

I think I'm going to give Subway right now, and maybe this is also other Subways, not just in the States,

a three.

Three forks.

Wow.

Pretty good score.

That's pretty up there.

No, I think that's.

I'm looking at Subway's menu, by the way, and they do have a cheddar cheese sauce that you can get on their subs.

So I think that's another thing that they already have.

We were just looking at the nachos description, and there's no cheese sauce listed.

Just Monterey Jack cheese.

Monterey Jack cheese?

Also, do they melt it on there?

Yeah, I think it's like melted in the oven, but it's it, but the texture of it was very like they ladled like pizza.

There was no way that there was like the press release says Doritos nachos cheese nacho cheese flavored chips layered with cheddar cheese sauce, which is what they have on their menu, and shredded Monterey cheddar cheese.

So it has two components that maybe,

which is weird.

Mitch, your thoughts are your fork score.

Well, if I had to give the nacho, if I had to give the

Doritos nachos a score,

I think I'd give it maybe three and a half for

just that.

Just the nacho.

I love it.

Three and a half to 3.75.

Like, not a four-forker.

Three and a half is probably the right word.

Well, three and a half is pretty good.

They're not bad, Wiggs.

They're not bad.

You seem to enjoy them.

I didn't say anything bad.

My God, you weren't.

I didn't say anything bad.

What?

You can't just stop.

I didn't say anything.

But you did.

I seem to enjoy them.

You love it.

You did seem to enjoy them.

I thought you enjoyed them.

I thought they were fine.

I would not go three and a half orcs.

Okay.

But you finish your thoughts.

I'm a little, I'm a self-described piggy.

And even I was not chowing down on

these things.

I could not, I wasn't, and no one was.

Yeah.

No one did.

I can't say that.

Tony was chowing down on them.

I thought that they were, for what they were, they were pretty good.

I think they can barely travel because the subway toast is just not going to keep them hot and fresh as nachos.

It's just not going to happen.

And that's why I'm saying, like, if you eat them in the store, it's probably the best way to do it or eat them in your car.

car um

my wrap was bad today and it was just so boring and it's like i was just tasting with that lavash bread or something it tasted like nothing kind of so i was just tasting all those ingredients i'm like oh jersey mics just has like better tuna fish it has better toppings and they're like oil and vinegar and like when they put the oregano and stuff on there it's like it just tastes better.

It's a better tasting,

you know, 10 times out of 10, I want Jersey Mike's over over Subway.

There's no time I want Subway.

I never even go to Subway.

I went to Subway when I had the flu because I could barely eat anything and I, and I wanted like punishing yourself.

I wanted bread.

I mean, that's why I like, I was like, I'll just get like a loaf of bread for dinner, was kind of what I thought.

Sometimes, sometimes like it feels like if you're sick, you don't even want flavor.

You don't want any, you just want like, I just need to put calories in my body.

And that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and so that's where I think like, that's what Subway is.

I think it, Subway does,

I think for like a lot of people, like working class people i see people like who are like like you know like i see like electricians and people in there like during the day i don't know if they're electric no people like working class people people with hard hats and name tags are oftentimes on their lunch break at subway so i understand why it exists i i and i think it is i think it is cheaper i think it is slightly cheaper than jersey mics i think jersey mics is is a little bit more expensive than subway right um also probably you know it's there they serve different areas subway is everywhere yeah subway is yeah and that it's the it's the netflix thing or whatever you know it's the walmart netflix thing of like ubiquity yeah and that it is just about real estate basically but okay all that being said the actual score for the restaurant overall

two and a half

two and a quarter forks two and a quarter forks wow yeah i

that feels right yeah a little unkar plutt score a fork on the end hey that's a pig man.

Unkar Plutt is a pigman.

Am I wrong?

Let us be,

you know, let us remember that Unkar Plutt famously would want one quarter portion.

That is true.

So he's not.

Oh, yeah, actually,

if there was the nachos, it would be quite a bit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Meanwhile, you're over here and I'm eating my nachos and you're like, that's mine.

Okay.

What was the roast today?

There was a roast today?

Yeah.

No, what was the

The deviled eggs.

Oh, yes.

Yeah.

I forgot we did.

I forgot.

That was so long ago.

Okay, okay.

So the roast was me loving deep dish pizza and deviled eggs.

Yes.

But then I call you piggy for a moment and I turn the pot upside down.

What was, wait, hold on.

Was that even mean-spirited?

Oh, there's been no roasts that are making fun of me.

Devil fungi put me deeper.

There's been no roasts that make fun of my weight.

Bitch,

you do get it a lot, but you were very aggressive.

I was having fun.

I was having fun too.

What do you think?

It was a bigger thing than it was.

We're having fun.

I'm going to fucking hog tie your ass after this episode.

I'd like to see you try.

Everybody would love to see that.

Everybody would love to see that.

We had this discussion back.

Absolute fucking loot week.

We had this discussion back at the.

And by when I say hog tie, I mean literal.

Tie up that hog, put a bow on it.

We used to back in the days when we recorded at your apartment at Palmerston.

Oh my gosh, remember?

And that weird table?

Yeah.

Sorry.

The weird glass table.

The weird table?

You're offended about referencing your old table?

Someone took that big piece of glass.

They made out like a bandit.

Yeah, those are expensive.

Yeah, I gave it to somebody.

That's nice.

Cool.

It was a beautiful piece of glass.

We recorded a big glass table.

Yeah, it was beautiful, but it didn't fit where it was.

I'm so sorry.

It was a little big for the face.

Yeah.

But anyway the we had an ongoing thing where you were convinced that if you wanted to

you could grab me and dunk my head in the toilet and i always said yeah i feel like i was on that you were around you were around you were definitely around for this and amelia's shocked because she's never listened to the podcast and this is news to her

and i said

if you try like like if i'm trying to avoid you if i'm trying to evade you you would not be able to do it like if i knew it was coming yes like if i if mitch is like i'm gonna dunk you you're getting dunked i'm gonna get you sooner or later.

I would be able to avoid you because

I have more endurance than you.

I think I could tire you out.

And I think I also am just like scrambly enough and strong enough to prevent you from tipping me upside down and putting my head inside of John.

I think I could do it.

And flushing.

I'm trying to picture you guys doing this in that bathroom at Palmerston that was like a very tight, small, like above bathroom.

I'm trying to picture you both in there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's no way Mitch would be able to do it.

Now here in the Echo toilet?

Yeah, but like you don't have to put feet above.

One, I agree.

He couldn't, he couldn't do it.

Well, hold on a second.

What the hell?

All right.

But if I'm resisting with all my might, it doesn't matter.

I'm like the it follows thing.

I'd follow you to the end of the earth.

I would fucking

follow you as slowly and I'd get you.

I would get you eventually.

Do you still honestly feel like you could?

Could I force

he'd fight back?

He's really gonna fight back.

Of course he could.

He's just a he, he's a he's a beefier.

And I don't mean that

in a bad way.

He's a a porkier

guy.

So like Koalak, I could definitely get his head in a toilet.

Koalak, yeah.

There's like people I could get their heads in the toilet.

Koalak would kind of want it to.

Yeah, give me a head.

Oh, now.

Don't do it.

Yeah, he lifts his head up above the toilet to be like, you're going to do it now.

Don't put a turd in there first.

All right.

Don't grab my dar of turtles that I have and put one in there.

Give me a top three you could put a you could put your dunk in the toilet.

Okay, koalak is definitely in my top of his friends.

Joe Saunders could do it too.

Joe Saunders is Joe Saunders, though.

If Joe Saunders, you know, when Joe gets Joe gets mad.

When Joe gets mad, you don't want to mess with Joe when he gets a little bit more.

There's a secret rage within him.

Oh, wow.

You won't like him when he's angry.

Yeah, he's very Hulk-like.

Interesting.

He's very what?

Hulk-like.

Oh.

Can I get Ferguson's head in the toilet?

Yeah.

I'd probably get fucking Ferguson in the toilet.

Okay.

A third?

Wager.

I don't think you could do it.

I legit don't think you could do it.

Okay.

Who's another weakling friend that we have?

I don't want to say weakling.

Burb's not even a weakling.

And Kowalik would be scrappy.

They're all scrappy.

That's the whole thing.

If someone is resisting you, if someone is fighting against you and you're, it's one-on-one.

I think it's very hard to subdue somebody and then to invert them and push their head into a toilet and flush it.

I think I could get ruthless.

It's a lot of work.

I would like to, and I think I could put Elon Musk's head in the toilet.

I bet you could do that.

I think I could.

If his security's not around.

If his security's not around and he has like no X weapons or whatever, or like a, you know, like no flamethrower.

Like, he has no weapons at all.

I think I could eventually get Elon's head in the toilet.

But I guess the other thing, the other element is, like, if you're, if you're trying to do it to me,

you're not going to be like trying to like, you're not going to be like punching me to knock me out.

No, I wouldn't want to.

But you might do that to someone else that you don't like.

You know what I mean?

So like, like, it's a little bit tougher to me because I'm like, you know, I'll be fighting you and then I'll be, you're not going to want to hurt me too bad.

Yeah.

And you're going to be squealing the whole time.

I love you, why?

I love you, too, buddy.

We're having fun.

Did you see the brutalist?

No.

Okay.

Jesus Christ.

Look at that.

What do you mean by that?

No, you're just, I was just thinking, I was thinking about, because for the longest time, there was the squeal like a pig scene in Deliverance.

And is now the new thing is you're.

You're a lady of the evening.

Is that the new thing?

Like saying you're a lady of the evening in the new squeal like a pig.

Yeah.

Oh.

I don't know.

Maybe not quite yet.

Not quite yet.

I don't get there.

Here's the thing about Subway.

I really don't, I just don't like this chain.

I don't like to go to it.

I think the food is really bad.

I thought that the nachos were, hey, they were better than I expected.

But I just, again, I'm repeating myself.

I think that's damning with faint praise.

Last week, Mitch, on the show, we reviewed Dickie's barbecue pit and talked about its predatory business model and talked about how Subway is basically like the, you know, the progenitor of this whole thing.

For basically the past decade, Subway has had more stores closing than opening.

So

it's a chain that is in retreat.

They've closed somewhere between 6,000 and 7,000 locations the past 10 years alone.

Their model involves collecting large upfront franchise fees and then

extracting a lot of revenue from these stores.

So much so that it's like they, that a lot of these places can't turn a profit or can't even sustain themselves.

And then they, and, and they're franchisees who, you know, they're, they're, yeah, the tyrannical small business owners exist, but there are a lot of these are just like, you know, immigrants trying to live their version of the American dream.

And they basically get hooked in by a Ponzi scheme from the Subway brand.

And they sometimes force closed store closures, I read about this, for an offense as minor as using the wrong kind of soap in the subway bathroom.

So it's just like, and this is just a shitty company.

They're a bad company with a bad product.

And yes, Chick-fil-A, also a bad company, but at least I like their chicken sandwiches.

Bad company rocks.

Don't compare them to bad company.

A company with values that are contrary to my own, values that I certainly find repugnant, but certainly a better arrangement for franchisees and for their workers, especially.

I don't feel like that's the case with Subway.

Do you say repignant?

Do not say repignant.

Anyway, let me decide how many poops I'm going to give.

I mean, forks.

I never thought you'd be bad at piglet because you have a piglet tattoo on your leg.

This is a tiger.

Oh, it's a tiger.

It's a tiger.

Oh, I thought you had a little piglet.

It's not a pig.

It's a badass tiger.

Thank you.

I do.

I wasn't taking all that into consideration for my.

No, I know.

I'm not even saying you should.

I'm talking about my own review.

Like,

look, whatever I'm I I I look at this shit because this is our world and we've reviewed Subway five times ultimately I just hate their fucking sandwiches I think they suck and I think they're a bad company and it's we're coming on year 10 of the podcast I'm done giving charity forks one fork for Subways

I like this is horrible

I'm putting my hooves together for you right now because you know what I am a little piggy and I like it yeah I'm also a little piggy

and smart are great

compared to the smartest animal You love that shit.

You love being a fucking doctor dictionary.

You love saying all your stupid shit.

Doctor Dictionary.

Yeah.

What?

Oh,

such a 80s bully thing to say.

Well, from Doctor Dictionary over here.

I've never put anyone's head in a toilet, to be clear.

I'm not a bully.

Except it's fun to be able to hear.

Have you ever gotten your head in a toilet?

Yes, I've been bullied way more than I

got my head put in a a toilet, but I've been bullied way more than I've bullied people in my life.

I got close to my head.

I've bullied friends.

In Boy Scouts, I got close to getting my head in a toilet, and I fought him off.

I fought two kids off.

Oh, nice.

That's why he's so confident.

No, I could do that.

All right, so you know.

Yeah.

I mean, but they were, well, what are they?

Scout masters or were they scouts?

They were two older scouts.

Two older scouts?

One of them was my patrol leader.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my gosh.

Boy Scouts from America, horrible organization.

Don't enlist your kids.

Hey, we got some some stuff, and we're going to decide if you should put it in your mouth.

It's Snack or Wax.

That's my shoe.

And Mitch,

since we've got macarones this week, it's Mac or whack.

How about that?

Wow.

Nice.

Audrey Rowe,

my former agent, this is the truth.

Okay.

Left the, I think she's left the agency business and she's making, how do you say, macaroons?

Macarones.

Macaroons.

Macarones?

Macarones?

These ones.

The other ones have.

They have one O?

I thought they had two O's.

No, I read the packaging when it got here because I was curious.

They're macarones, not macarons, right?

Oh, yes.

Because macaroons are the coconut ones.

We won't ever this with Jamal.

Macaroons are the coconut ones.

These look like the coconut ones.

Wait, these are macaroons?

I thought they were macarones.

Okay.

These are macarons.

Audrey said she likes them.

So these are Rose.

Rose.

Rose.

Hold on a second.

Wait a minute.

These look like macaroons.

They are macaroons.

There are two O's.

Macaroons.

They are macarons.

I don't know how to read.

Okay, I thought these were macarons.

I added macarons in my own.

Is macarones a thing?

One of the o's is small one of the o's is small

macarones are macarones are the sandwiches oh

yeah

thank you the dainty little sandwich i always okay and these are macarones are macarones macaroons are the coconut guys and a macaron is the uh the the french president there's four um so

you and i have to split all right we can do it

all right careful uh here we go go first oh here we go

here we go i'm gonna give you

i'm sorry for calling you a pig you don't need to apologize apologize.

It was fun.

Okay.

Did you really not like my fish rap?

That's what this is about.

I like the max rap better, but you have more time to craft that.

But I thought it was a, it was.

Wait, what's the max rap?

That was what you did.

This show.

Oh.

Well, the poetry.

Oh, the poetry.

The slam poetry.

Yeah, sorry, the slam poetry.

There we go.

I like your max slam poetry better than your improvised fish rap, but they were both good.

In all fairness, Mitchie's going to do another rap at the end of the show.

Jesus Christ.

What the hell are you doing?

you just snapped at amelia for helping you what the amelia uh

i just oh my god

oh wait is there no no there's not oh there's some extra so wise we don't have to share phew um oh i love it uh i have these two you have two so you need a peanut butter and a dark chocolate Does the term to hog something come from someone being a little picky?

Oh, wait, there's a lot of stuff.

Oh, there's just one less.

I'm sure that's out of it.

Wise, we only have to split one.

okay which one are we splitting so wait what do you have over there i've got a peanut butter which i can't have i've also got a white chocolate and a dark chocolate oh that doesn't we have to split the regular one we'll split the plain it'll work out great famously so these are these are rose macaroons uh my old rose is the company i wonder why she left the business after having me as a client but you know uh she was also my lit agent so uh

What's on the side there?

Plain milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and peanut butter.

So we have white chocolate, we have dark chocolate, we have peanut butter, and we have milk chocolate.

So we don't have plain, I guess, is the only one we don't have.

Rosemax.com is the URL.

R-O-W-E-S-M-A-C-S.com.

Freewags.

For our, I love that.

For our, you know, for people not in the biz, a lit agent is someone who represents you as a writer.

That's for sure.

Sorry for literary.

Yeah.

At CAA, my former agency, I'm not at CAA anymore.

Audrey is great.

Yeah.

And

she's following her passion of making macaroons.

So let's go.

I think this one is great.

I'm going to just bite into this wise.

Is that okay?

Which one are you starting with?

I'm going to try the regular first.

Okay, great.

I guess, Tony, what do you open up?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I opened up the white chocolate.

Should we all?

All right, thanks, buddy.

Very cute.

Do you want to try the original?

Wait, this is the original.

This has a chocolate base, though.

I don't have it.

Okay, so the milk chocolate is the original?

Yes.

Is this a milk chocolate or a?

Okay, it's a milk chocolate.

Okay, I'll take a bite of this.

The sun bitch.

I'll take some bitch.

Fuck, that's fucking good.

That's pretty damn good.

I was worried the chocolate was going to overwhelm it, but it's actually just a nice compliment to the coconut.

And I'm not a huge coconut guy, and

I like this.

I'm a big-time coconut guy.

Really?

Where do you stand on coconut?

I think I'm in the middle.

Wow, how about that?

The three bears.

Yeah.

Who's our little Goldilocks?

Well, not Jamie.

She can't eat any of this.

Yeah, she can't.

That's damn good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What do you want next, Wise?

Can't I have the rest of this?

Do I have your permission?

Oh, my God.

It's a crumb.

I hope people are watching.

It was one flake of coconut.

It was truly so exciting.

That's me being mad.

That's not him.

Which should we do next?

I opened up the white chocolate.

All right, let's do this.

White chocolate next.

Okay, great.

I'm opening up the white chocolate.

Oh, I got two milk chocolates.

My bad.

So I guess you guys didn't have to share.

We didn't have to share.

I was just going to squeeze.

Thanks a lot, Tony.

Do you guys think you could have bite into one of these at the same time?

Lady and the Tramp.

Lady and the Tramp this.

Yeah.

I don't want to try.

I was just curious.

We have Lady Tristram.

Nick.

I would have tried.

We have Lady and the Tramp at the past.

Do we have like a knife or any sort of utensil?

Because if I can, if I can, I can, I can bisect this and we can all, we can, we can share some bites.

Amelia.

Jesus, Mitch.

I was going to say, do any of you guys not care about eating half of a bite?

No, I don't.

All right, great.

No, I'm going to ask.

Amelia,

what are you doing?

Crazy enough.

Yeah.

I'm a bit of a white chocolate skeptic.

Me too.

But you know what?

I maybe like this more than the milk chocolate.

Yeah, I like this.

I've grown to like white chocolate a little bit more as I've gotten older.

Maybe that's part of it.

But yeah, I'm a really big skeptic.

I'm shocked by this that I, that I, um,

well, you guys

and then take that guy.

All right, I'm gonna cut, I'm gonna cut this up.

Yeah, oh, wait, did you right?

Did you have an extra one?

Yeah, that one's not open.

There we go.

Um, here we go.

Yeah, I like

maybe

it's different.

I don't know.

Uh, I, as I just said, like white chocolate.

This wasn't good.

It is good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh.

It's very good.

I want to do peanut butter next because Wags can't do it.

So we can quickly, as he's cutting things up here.

Yeah.

About 110 to 120 calories per pop here.

So here's a question for you.

Give it.

Do you like salt on a chocolate chip cookie?

Yes, sometimes I actually do.

It depends.

Meat 100%.

I think I love a salted chocolate chip cookie.

It's delightful.

It's like like caramel.

Man.

Yeah, that's a lot of fun.

I don't have a peanut butter.

Maybe that was the mistake.

Oh, there is no peanut butter.

You want this TV?

You want to eat this?

No, this is dark chocolate.

You don't care, do you?

No.

You don't care, do you?

You don't care, do you, babe?

I did not call you, babe.

Just wrote a record.

I know, but it feels like that's the way that it goes.

I like that a lot.

Peanut butter is maybe my favorite one-wise.

I'm sad you can't try it.

That's all right.

It's all you.

you.

All righty.

I've UNCAR plutted all these into quarter portions.

I'm going to move these over to the dais when he wants to try some.

That's so nice.

There you go.

I did like that one.

Let me try the white chocolate.

And I'm a peanut butter fan.

But I like the white chocolate better.

And I think the regular one better than the peanut butter.

Well, that white chocolate sneaks up on you.

It's good.

That's nice.

Isn't it?

That's a surprise winner.

So these all come in the box.

They last about, I think Audrey said they last about like three to four weeks.

They're all individually wrapped in kind of these little condom wrappers, or so I've been told.

Yeah, condom wrappers will like and they freeze well, right?

And they freeze well.

Audrey likes to freeze.

Her, she says that she said to put them straight in the freezer.

Oh, interesting.

We put them in the fridge, yeah, and they taste pretty, pretty damn good.

Yeah, um,

we're on to the uh dark chocolate here.

I'm a dark chocolate.

You're having it now.

I just ate it.

Oh,

all right, here we go.

That's really yummy, too.

that i think is my favorite

i just think dark chocolate pound pairs really well with with coconut

i mean

i mean this in a complimentary way it reminds me of a uh of a mountains bar

yeah

it's like a fancy mountains bar fancy mountains bar yeah fuck that's really good that's nice Isn't this so much better than the fucking subway we ate?

Isn't this like way the fuck better?

It is way better.

Yeah, man.

It's way better.

Not Not even on the same planet.

Yeah.

You're so.

I think you're mad at Subway.

You are mad at Subway.

Yeah.

You're mad at Saddam.

It sucks.

The podcast sucks.

You know.

The podcast is bad.

But it's okay.

That's fine.

Yeah, no, it's fine.

Just, it's just what you were saying earlier.

Everything's so fucking bad now.

Everything is bad.

Our prestige show is fucking

Last of Us.

What are we supposed to do?

The world.

No, it's all fucking bad.

I'm a little kid.

I was like, oh, it's a video game show on TV.

Oh, cool.

You know, like, I'd be so fucking excited.

And it's just like, everything's so fucking stupid

about Twisted Metal that you are about to.

I am excited about Twisted Metal.

Hey, Twisted Metal is great.

But, but, you know,

we just need more better stuff.

Subway is, it just sucks when the stuff that already sucked.

Subway was like a concession you would make.

It's like, yeah, fuck.

Yeah.

Fine, fuck.

I'll get Subway.

Oh, shit.

I got to go work for the birthday boys' house for seven hours.

I'm going to get some Subway.

I'll eat Subway.

I'll be fine.

It just is, it doesn't cut it anymore.

It doesn't.

And why not get Panda Express?

Like, if there's a Panda Express in the same same

mini mall, I'll go to Panda Express every fucking time and spend about the same amount of money and have a way better meal.

Wags fork revision, one fork for me as well.

Wow.

All right.

I would like to revise, but I'm not taking in their practices into account.

Okay.

And maybe I'm probably a part of the problem.

Because you said that's not what we're doing.

It's not what we're doing.

I gave Chick-fil-A four forks.

So whatever.

Do you like Chick-fil-A?

They have nothing for me.

Okay.

Oh, right, right, right.

And also, I don't support them wow

yeah um

i'm gonna revise to two fourths that's uh that's fair that's pretty good was it three to two yeah that's pretty good

uh broken plate club for sure for subway

how about this dipping your cookie in milk or milk substitute does it enhance the experience or ruin the texture I especially a Subway cookie,

I would dunk that some bitch

and some milk.

Milk alternate, though, I don't know.

Does that work with milk and a...

You can do it with the soy milk, sure.

Yeah.

As someone who, yeah, it doesn't like,

and I grew up, we've talked about this before, was like a chug and milk type of

lady.

Yeah, love it.

But no, no longer.

And not because it doesn't agree, just because I think it's crazy.

But I think you could, a milk substitute, still good.

Yeah, I agree.

Still great.

And if you get an Oreo cookie and you soak it a little bit, and then, oh, that's even better.

I feel like it depends on the type of cookie.

Do you eat, do it?

So we went over, went across the street before we recorded, got some, got some coffee.

You requested a soy, a hot soy latte.

The coffee shop over there doesn't have soy milk anymore.

I've noticed this trend.

As far as substitutes, milk, soy milk is getting, is going away.

The dodo, you're seeing a lot more oat milk and almond milk.

Was Linda Richman over there or no?

She was.

Yeah, okay.

She was getting a little for Klemp, though, so I left her alone.

That's fair.

Yeah.

From Coffee Talk.

Linda River.

Okay.

Oh, you got it.

I just saw it.

Yeah, that's crazy.

I think oat milk, it is creamier and nicer.

Yeah.

But I need more protein.

And not that I'm getting it from soy milk, but it does have more protein than that.

Almond milk, to me, has too much of a taste to it

that, like, it, it, it kind of is just a different vibe.

But yeah.

I don't like almond milk and it's also like super wasteful to produce.

Oat milk, I think, is pretty energy efficient and is also like

it gets the job done for me.

But I like soy milk.

And when I was working, when I had a dietitian who I was consulting with to keep me from hurting my body too much from this bad podcast, she was very much like, yeah, soy milk is the one to go with because it's got exactly what you're saying.

It's got the most protein.

But yeah, and oat milk is pretty nutritionally inert and doesn't add a lot.

I know it might not mean a lot, but I love the podcast.

Tony, that's so nice.

We love having you on the podcast.

Thank you, Tony.

Well, I'm just saying, you guys get down about the podcast.

We have a lot of fans and a lot of people who like it.

We have a lot of funny friends who make it.

We do.

That's the whole thing.

Hey, that was check out Rose Macaroons.

Again, that URL is.

Hey, snacks all around for me.

Snacks all around.

If I had a random maxed out peanut butter first for me, and then dark chocolate is right there.

Dark chocolate was intense.

Dark chocolate was really intense.

Yeah.

I would say, and then white chocolate and then the regular bread.

All of them are snacks, and all of them are good.

So

the milk chocolate,

my fourth ranking, but still I thought was good.

I'd be curious about Audrey's process here and how macarones ended up being the thing to land on.

I'm just curious about all this.

We'll get some context for her.

Yep.

Hey, just like a restaurant via feedback, let's open the feedback.

Today's email is from Ben.

Ben writes, In January at the grocery store, I found Pepsi vanilla nitro on the shelves.

Never heard of it before, bought one, and it was so good.

I went online to see what people thought about it and found out it had positive reviews, but also that Pepsi discontinued it.

I bought it literally the last day it was on the shelves.

Wow.

Are there any sort of grocery items that are discontinued that you crave?

Oreo flavor promotions or past Ben and Jerry's pints or soda fads, etc.

Wow.

Thanks for the question, Ben.

Pepsi vanilla nitro.

You know, our buddy JF from YKS is saying that the decade of Pitch.

It's a decade of Pepsi.

It might be the decade of Pepsi, Frank.

And once again, I just want to clarify that Jesse is a dip shit.

So So I don't know.

I really don't know if it's a decade of Pepsi, but maybe, maybe it is.

Maybe it is.

The Pepsi limited varietals I've had have been mostly pretty good.

The Pepsi, the vanilla, what was it?

It was cherries and cream.

Was that what it was?

Or strawberries and cream?

Yeah.

That was a really, really good variant.

I totally missed the vanilla nitro, but that sounds real good.

I'm intrigued.

Maybe I'll try to track it down.

What did you think?

It was great.

Fuck.

Are we saying nitro like coffee?

Yeah, like nitro coffee.

Yeah, it's like

a Guinness where you got to open it and do a hard pour.

It's got like a full

coffee in it, or the way they do it is a nitrogen.

Okay.

Yeah, it's carbonated with nitrogen instead of CO2.

So it has to be like in a widget in the can.

They can't like put it in and just can it.

You have to like release the carbonation as you put it in.

Nitrogen is one of my favorite elements.

How about you?

Yeah, nitrogen's up there.

I probably.

Helium's pretty funny.

Yeah.

Comedians, look, if you ask the Mount, if you ask a Mount Element more of comedians, helium is always going to be on absolutely because it makes your voice funny i like carbon

because i think it's just a pretty important you know foundational element i'm also carbon based we're carbon based that's the whole thing and then also oxygen i mean giver of life oxygen

oxygen makes it onto my yeah but if you're gonna put oxygen on your mount your mount element more are you not gonna put hydrogen

i put that on the i mean like why you can't spot hydrogen and oxygen had probably given two

reds yeah yeah um and then as far as the rest of it i mean i've always had the the you know, the noble gases I've always had a sort of a soft spot for.

Maybe throw an argon on there,

but I think there's a

I think there's a case for the ones that have an element that does not look like what the element is.

Like, isn't iron like F E or something like that?

One of those?

I like it when the letters don't match what, how we say it in English.

Potassium is K.

That one's real good.

Yeah, I like that.

What were they doing?

Man, I don't know.

Noble gases is cool.

This is cool sounding.

It is cool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's cool sounding.

Noble gases.

Noble gases.

Yeah.

My dad.

It sounds like a guy who loved to fart.

And he was like, oh, my noble gas.

It does sound like a guy who likes to fart.

Okay, the question was, discontinued grocery item that you crave.

It's funny because the Doughboys have done

the actually exact opposite of this, where we've multiple times, we're going to do the pickle menu today, and we looked from Popeyes.

Yeah.

And then the pickle menu was discontinued.

What else?

This just happened.

We are 11 days after they launched it or something.

Yeah, they've.

Oh, that sounds delicious.

Well, the problem is that we're going to be able to

eat, unfortunately.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

We did this with Taco Bell.

Remember, we went to.

There was some like Alex Earl burger that

we just missed the window for.

We always get the, we try to get the thing the day it ends.

So we miss out on it, but we were going to do the pickle menu, but then also all they had left was pickle lemonade, pickle frozen lemonade, and a pickled chicken sandwich, which is like, oh, yeah.

You couldn't, you could drink the drinks, I guess.

I like pickles.

I got chocolate in my hand.

I still got chocolate on my hand.

We believe you.

Here's chocolate.

I know I went to the bathroom during this.

Here's one.

Yeah.

And this is one that I don't think has been made in 20 years.

But there was a cap and crunch, because we know cap and crunch and we know cap and crunch oops all berries.

There was a time when they had cap and crunches oops all choco donuts.

And so this is a chocolate donut cereal.

Wow.

Our buddy Jim, as our buddy Jim Woods said about this, that's a pretty big oops.

Yeah.

Because you're making something completely different with Cap and Crunch, making it oops all choco donuts.

I'm 100% correct.

But this was a good-ass cereal that I just don't think you can find anymore.

I've said this here.

In Australia, the Zinger sandwich from KFC is still a thing.

Oh, yeah.

They still got the Zinger over there.

Yeah, because Ben's specifically asking about grocery store items,

but if we're generalizing it to all things, I mean, I'll always talk about the Bell Beefer from Taco Bell, bring back the bell beefer.

Sure, sure, sure, sure.

Yeah.

Basically, their version of a sloppy joe with taco meat.

Oh,

whoa.

Maybe for the decades menu, they'll bring it back.

You think they'll do it?

They should.

I wonder.

The bell beefer, that's fun.

Yeah.

I

fun to say.

Yeah.

Man, there's a lot of.

It's fun to hear.

There's a lot of grocery store.

Oh, man.

You know what I loved?

Rice Krispie Treats Cereal.

Oh, yeah.

Do you remember that?

I was still making it.

That was fucking good.

That was hell.

It was like rice krispies treats basically in cereal form.

But different than rice krispies.

Yeah, different than rice krispies.

There were pieces of the treats.

Oh, I know.

Yeah.

As cereal.

Rice Krispies existed as like a home recipe.

The American cooks organically created Rice Krispies treats.

And then the company took that back and made their own package Rice Krispies treats and then ultimately made a Rice Krispies Treats version of the cereal.

Yeah.

It was

Ouroboros of influence.

Yeah.

It was a...

It was like the

feeling of eating.

Sorry.

The feeling, was I doing too much with my hand?

The sensation, it felt like you were really eating a Rice Krispie Treats.

It tasted like Rice Krispie Treats.

They did it.

Whatever chemical equation was in there.

They did it.

And then you remember this one.

I wasn't a big

mushroom.

I wasn't a big...

marshmallow fan in cereal, but

I'm sure you remember this wild because I know you know it, but the Nintendo cereal was half Mario and half Zelda.

Oh, cute.

There was one on each half.

Yeah, that was a really fun gimmick.

I think the Mario one was good.

Whichever one, there's one that had marshmallows in it, and I think the Mario one didn't have marshmallows in it and was good as hell.

Yeah, I think the wood-only one was better, but I can't remember either of them specifically.

I just remember the gimmick of them both being in two cereals in one box I thought was dynamite.

What were the squeeze drinks?

Squeeze-its.

Squeeze it.

Squeeze it.

Squeeze it were fun.

Squeeze-its are like in, like they changed the form factor of all these.

Like cheese-its, they're just in like regular bottles now or whatever the fuck, which is maybe good, which they also did for like recently.

Yeah, not a hard, thick plastic,

which we were drinking out of.

Yeah.

Um, squeeze it's worth, but also, was that look, is it the nostalgic lens that I liked them?

Is that why they were good, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I wonder where we are with fun shapes for mac and cheeses.

Because I remember mac and cheeses used to have a bunch of like, I just like like I like the texture of the spirals better than the elbows.

And I don't know if they make the spirals anymore.

Bob-shaped mac and cheese noodles.

Yeah.

Sometimes those are really like fun and squishy.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

I was in the store, and it is, it's the brutalist.

They have brutalist shapes for mac and cheese.

Oh, wow.

So like that guy pierces head with a mustache.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then, like, one of the structures that he builds.

A T-square.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's fun.

Yeah, it's fun.

It is fun.

It is fun.

Those, I think, I think sometimes it would just really change the taste of those.

Like the mac and cheese would taste differently.

I agree.

Okay, so

this is a tangent, but I'm curious, especially you two, your answers.

I didn't want fettuccine alfredo, but I wanted spaghetti alfredo because the noodles taste different

with a sauce, right?

Completely reasonable.

You know what I would take over both of those?

What?

Trump.

Nice.

I feel like there's also.

I get what you're saying, though.

That is a huge, that to actual point.

But okay, okay.

Drew made me feel nuts of like, no, I don't think you should.

And it's like

it does change the sauce and the noodle combination.

Different noodles are made for different types of sauces, too.

Like you get like a bucatini that's like a spaghetti but has a hole in the middle is for certain sauces.

And then you do like shells or like

the spirals are for certain sauces.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

It's all on purpose.

You'll eat something on sauce and you'll be and you're like, I'm getting too much noodle.

You know what I mean?

Like sometimes you're getting too much noodle and you want more sauce.

It does, it messes the equation.

Totally agree.

I think the ratios are important, and I think you gotta, yeah, you gotta pair those things appropriately.

The other one that comes to mind, this is another sweet treat: the hostess Chaco Dial, which was like a chocolate-covered Twinkie that they discontinued.

And I used to love these fucking things, and also, Chaco Dial is just fun to say.

It is fun to say, it's like crocodile, but with chocolate.

I wish I had one.

I can't, wow, you could really pull these up.

I can't think of a single thing that I miss, or is that there?

What?

Well, oh, stop it.

If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants,

can I just quickly say,

I call Wally, my cat Wally, a little piglet.

Sometimes my dad used to call my cat Zip a little piglet.

It's a term of endearment to me, wise.

Oh, that's so nice.

I love you.

Love you too, buddy.

Oink, oink.

If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830.

Go to that's 830-463-684.

Our producer.

Are you saying birdfuck.com?

Yeah.

Yeah, our URL now is birdfuck.com.

I'm so afraid that it's like a shine box thing where you're going to kill where you were going to kill.

No, I'm not going to.

Why do you think so?

Why do you think that?

Birdfuck.

Or you guys already discussed it.

We discussed why it's bird fucking.

Mitch had a dream that he registered a URL called birdfuck.com and so we registered it on the podcast and then we decided to make it our official homepage.

I woke up from a dream, which I like never have dreams.

Back when I didn't use my CPAP, I never had dreams.

Oh, now you're sleeping.

And now I'm sleeping.

But no, but this is before I use my CPAP.

So I had a dream about like a website, birdfuck.com.

Wait, so you can.

I think it's because my godsister sent me a video of a bird fucking.

Yeah.

Are you serious?

I don't think we have any sort of Doughboys URL, do we?

No.

No.

It's DoughboysPodcast.com redirects to BirdFuck.

Okay, great, great.

So we do have that.

DoughboysPodcast.com redirects to BirdFuck.

Or you can, you can

own doughboyspodcast.com.

Okay, yeah, we also own bird pluck.

That's right.

Bird pluck also a little bit more G-rated.

Safe for work.

G-rated.

J-Reed.

G-rated, yeah.

J-Reed.

J-Giant.

God.

Nice.

Okay.

Wow.

Wow.

Our lives are jokes.

Our producer is Emma Erdbrink.

Our associate producer is Amelia Marino.

Our supervising video producer is Casey Donahue.

Our video editor is Mike Dorfman.

Doughboys merch is available at kinshipgoods.com/slash Doughboys.

And hey, as I mentioned, Mank returns a mission impotable.

Mission Impotable.

Mission Impossible episodes leading up to Junke.

Rolls.

We'll talk about the final.

Rolls right off the tongue.

Mation Impotable.

Only at patreon.com/slash Doughboys.

The one and only Tony Charlene Ramos.

Tony, thank you so much for being here.

Oh, a pleasure.

What a delight.

What a boot.

What a joy.

You can take us out on a goodbye wrap if you'd like.

I would not take that because I know you've been thinking about it the whole time.

I have not been thinking about it.

You have.

Yes, you have.

Tony, do you have you have any plugs?

Um, I don't.

Okay, well, there you go.

Now it's time to end the show.

Weiger and Mitch say we gotta go.

Goodbye, Rap.

It's the goodbye, Rap.

Goodbye.

It's easy to be a superhero.

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Visit powersaverrewards.org and become a super power saver.

That was a head gum podcast.