KFC Bowls with Carmen Christopher

This is a head gum podcast.

Want to watch this episode?

Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com/slash doughboys media.

Audival's romance collection has something to satisfy every side of you.

When it comes to what kind of romance you're into, you don't have to choose just one.

Fancy a dalliance with a duke, or maybe a steamy billionaire.

You could find a book boyfriend in the city and another one tearing it up on the hockey field.

And if nothing on this earth satisfies, you can always find love in another realm.

Discover modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chu and Allie Hazelwood, the latest romanticy series from Sarah J.

Mas and Rebecca Yaros, plus regency favorites like Bridgerton and Outlander.

And of course, all the really steamy stuff.

Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com slash wondery.

That's audible.com/slash wondery.

This fall, the Food and Wine Classic in Charleston returns November 14th through the 16th for three days of incredible food, wine, and southern hospitality in one of the country's most charming cities.

You'll experience grand tastings, cooking demonstrations, and beverage seminars featuring top chefs, wine and spirits experts, and the bold seasonal flavors of the low country.

It's a weekend built for discovery, connection, and unforgettable culinary moments.

Tickets are going fast, so head to foodandwineclassicincharleston.com to grab yours before they're gone.

On December 17th, 1933, the Chicago Bears defeated the New York Giants in the first ever championship game of the young National Football League.

The NFL championship would continue at the climax of each season until its replacement on January 15th, 1967, by an event called the S Bowl.

So was born perhaps the most litigated brand name of all time.

Its trademark so rigorously enforced, we are choosing to self-censor its very mention.

Listen,

bowl.

Wild, right?

I mean, we don't even censor overt profanity like cocksucker.

Also established in the 1930s and settling on its now ubiquitous branding mid-century, a bluegrass state-breaded bird broker founded by a man who called himself colonel despite no record of military service and who literally got away with murder, escaping prosecution for gunning down a rival.

In 2006, the now acronymical fried chicken outlet debuted a then-mocked menu item that would prove wildly popular as a filling fast food value meal, the Famous Bowl, a starch-on-top of starch pile of mashed potatoes, corn, fried chicken, gravy, and cheese.

Nearly 20 years later, the famous bowl is a staple of the world's biggest chicken chains menu, and it's expanded its line of bowl varietals with variable protein seasonings and bases.

But which of the available sauce/starch combos most deserves the title of Famous?

Today, on the cusp of a gridiron showdown between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Philadelphia Eagles, two of America's biggest brands converge in a winner-takes-bowl-bowl brawl.

This week on Doughboys, we return once again to KFC for the KFC Super Bowl.

Go Birds.

Welcome to Dough Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, Beef Strokinoff with Spoonman Mike Mitchell.

You get it?

Yeah, jacking off.

Like Beef Stroganoff, but about Jackin.

Fidelio to the whole Doughboys crew.

Love Brendan.

Go Birds.

Wow.

Roasted Birdfuck.com.

For you for your birds.

Go birds.

And you know what?

I guess I got to say go birds too.

Well, we can ask our guests what they, which makes sense because today is a super, it's super.

Superbowl.

What are we calling it?

We haven't decided what we're doing.

We said super bowels.

But we still want super bowels.

Super bowels.

We talked about superb, superb kind of disgusting.

Super bowls.

Superb bowls.

Okay, we can't say

bowels.

We can't say super bowls.

We can say

well, we have to bleep it.

So we'll be busy.

We're bleeping every instinctive instance of superb.

Soup or bowl.

Soup or bowl.

Yeah, we could try to be kind of weasily with it.

What the fuck does soup or bowl mean?

I'm asking you a question.

Do you want a soup or a bowl?

Would you rather have this bowl or would you rather fill it with soup?

Soup means it sucks.

Bowl means it scored.

That works for me.

I like it.

We're going to...

We'll get to that.

That's in the meat of the episode.

We're going to decide which of the KFC famous goals.

I'm going to chime in to figure this out for us.

Yeah.

My bad.

No, no, no, that's good.

No, that's good.

I want the classic intro, though.

Oh,

I don't like talking until I get the intro.

I already talked.

All right.

Yeah, you guys do your thing, and then I'll come in in a little bit.

Backed up-wise.

I'm all backed up.

Yeah, you were saying that roast at birdfuck.com.

Is it the, like, how long have you been backed up?

Because we just got back from San Francisco.

Have you had a BM since you landed in LA?

Ooh.

Because if your last BM was in the bay, Mitch, it's been a while.

My last BM was in the bay, literally.

You're dropping heat off the pier?

You fucking freak.

Yeah, why not?

It's nasty.

There was no bathroom at Hog Island where we went.

That's right.

I'm wearing the hog, for our audio listeners, I'm wearing my Hog Island Oyster Company hat.

And no, Hog Island, it's not just where I hope to go when I die.

It is where we had a wonderful meal, my favorite meal of the year.

Just the idea.

I'm sorry, just the idea of like hog, like when you die, would just be a bunch of, like, what would it be?

Is I guess what would be like some hot dudes with diggers?

Oh,

just like

detached hogs.

Like

palm fronds.

I was thinking about detached hogs.

Yeah, no, like not a bunch of like hog cacti.

Just like, no, it would be, you know, attached to people.

You loved, you loved Hog Island.

I loved hog Island.

Oh, I was just going to say, I heard when you die that your hog turns four inches.

It goes to four.

Wow.

It's just like that's a

manageable space.

Everyone is equal in the kingdom of God, is basically what happens.

Yeah.

Everyone's got a four-incher.

Everyone's got a four-inch.

That's what I heard.

I'm going to back out of this, so let you guys do your thing.

I think that's great because then it's just like we're all at the same level.

We're all at the same level.

No one.

First of all, you're going to go down about, you know, six or so inches.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I heard, I heard on this pod that you got a big

boy.

I've been hearing about that.

We don't need to get into this.

Went Hog Island Oyster Company is just the name.

And

there is a Hog Island, I assume, but we went to the one in San Francisco, which is in the ferry building.

We had a lovely meal with

the team that was up there, with Emma and Amelia, with our guest Jordan Morris for San Francisco live show, and then with Chankton and a bunch of Chankton's friends.

Yeah, a lot of people.

Yeah, Chankton's sister Mary was there.

Emil, her husband.

Emil's great.

We hung out with all of them afterwards.

They took us to a great dive bar by the bay.

Yeah, it was

fantastic.

Hog Island was an incredible meal.

And you know, you have to like, you have to like,

I love, I love oysters, and we had so we had raw oysters, we had grilled oysters, it was happy.

You love Hog Island.

You're a huge Hog Island fan.

Yeah.

Major, are you telling me that you still have those oysters with you right now?

That's what I wanted to know.

Oh, shit.

You're saying that they're slopping.

That's an insane way to put it.

Are those oysters still with me?

Man, God, I hope they are.

If they are, give me some because that's how good Hog Island is.

Jesus Christ.

It's fucking hell.

Jesus Christ.

It's disgusting.

Amelia, Amelia, you freak.

You freaked out everyone.

Damn.

Our guests said.

Damn.

Might have to check out this Hog Island.

It was great.

I mean, it was really good oyster.

She wants shit oysters, apparently.

Yeah.

I genuinely thought about it for like three days after.

I was like, man, that was such a good meal.

I was so hyped for Hog Island and in advance.

And then when we went there, like, it so exceeded my expectations.

It was a great meal.

The cold dishes were great.

The hot dishes were great.

It was wonderful.

The service was great.

What a great experience.

I don't know.

Made the whole trip worth.

I do wonder if I've gone since then.

I need to go.

I need to go.

I looked at it.

I opened my mouth in the mirror.

I got a little bit of brown throat going.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, my God.

That's awful.

That's worse than what Amelia is.

Oh, what?

You've never...

It's disgusting.

You never had a little brown throat before?

No.

Oh, yeah.

When you get backed up, you get brown throat.

Oh, my God.

I hate that, Mitch.

Play your drop.

Do you want to try what I do?

He's mad.

He's mad at me for the thing.

Do you need what I i do for jemmy when she has an upset tummy just pumpkin rice and chicken oh maybe i do need that until you shit orange oh jesus

nasty start to today this is fucking disgusting

mom you air my secrets so different she just got up she's upset with a new guest it's their first time on the show they're promoting a special we're just talking about fucking human

with five minutes up top it's fucking awful what kind of show is this

he's shocked by this i didn't know i just didn't know that if you are constipated, that you could just throw up shit.

I didn't know that was a thing.

This is a really gross thought.

I didn't know that.

Yeah, no, no, it's not.

Maybe it happens.

I don't know.

Maybe that clogged up.

But does it come out looking like shit or does it come out looking like throw-ups?

That's a great question.

I think probably low from column A, low from column B.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You guys, do you think people are still listening?

I mean, I hope so, but yeah, I don't know.

I don't know.

They're down with it.

They're down with it.

You would not be happy with a four-incher hog heaven.

Why not?

Well, look.

One of your favorite activities is out the window.

You're not that flexible.

Okay.

Variety is the spice of life.

So it is kind of nice.

Like, hey, you got

different sizes out there.

I think that's fine.

And I think everyone should be happy with whatever they're working with.

Heaven shouldn't be able to be like, I want like a big one right now.

You know what I mean?

Well, yeah, okay.

So that's a different.

Change it on demand.

That's a different side.

I think you should be able to change it on demand if you're an angel.

I guess it's like, what is your, what is your power set like what what skills do you have when you are in the afterlife are you yourself like a godlike being is this covered in angels in the at all i've never seen that's what i want i don't know i've never seen angels i haven't seen eva lent me the maybe i still have what evil she lent me the dvd a long time ago she loves angels in america i read the play i think oh yeah it was a play right it was yes it was a broadway play at first yeah hbo series is that what it was yeah i'm not familiar i know heaven is for real which was about the little boy who saw heaven oh right and he said i think pikachu is there so that's cool The little boy said he saw heaven.

He said, Pikachu is there.

He said, Pikachu's up in heaven.

And people, and so what happened?

People believed it?

Or he became like a Christian celebrity.

It's like a huge thing, bro.

This guy, Colton Burpo?

His name is Colton Boe.

His name is Colton Burpo.

Yeah.

His last name is Burpo.

This is like, Mitch, this was like 15 years ago.

I can't believe you're just finding out about this.

They had that Heaven is for Real is the book.

I mean, like, I remember having it.

I remember like of Heaven is for Real, but one, I didn't know Pikachu is there.

I didn't know Pikachu died, first of all.

Second of all.

Well, I don't know if he died or if he's like some sort of, you know, again, some sort of demi-god, some sort of immortal being who transcends space and time.

He's related to Zeus.

He could be related to Zeus.

He also has, you know, thunder possibilities, thunder powers.

Pikachu's rolling around having a four-incher.

Double the size of what he was.

There's no way Pikachu was above a two-incher.

There's no way at all.

Heaven is for Real is, it was written in 2010.

It was written by Todd Burpo and Lynn Vincent

about the near-death near-death experience by his three-year-old son, Colton Burpo.

And Colton Bo.

Colton's still alive, right?

Hopefully.

I mean, I hope so.

He'd be very young.

But yeah,

I'll try to find the passage, but I believe at a certain point he said that, yeah, Pikachu was there and more of his favorite characters, kind of like Game Master Anthony.

Mitch, do you have a drop to play?

Yes, Emma hit him with a drop.

Colton Burpo's 25.

That's wild.

Someone does submit a drop with 500 actual wows in it, and it's obviously going to be over 30 seconds.

Can I send that off for an episode at some point?

Yes.

Say the line, Bert.

Wow.

One.

Wow.

Ten.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

And 25.

200.

Our guest is ordering a lift.

Get himself out of here.

Ordering he lifts.

Oh no, I'm like.

No, no, you should.

This is

4000.

I didn't know that I was supposed to be listening.

I'm being rude.

I'm so sorry.

No, you're dead.

I'm dealing with lambda stuff.

Let's not get into it though, because I get really.

Flush.

All right.

Yeah, I was listening to that.

They did 500 wows.

Yeah, that's requested.

That's an impressive feat.

I was listening while trying to find the

in the email the image of their tracks.

Oh, my God.

Editing 500 WOWS.

Wow, look at that.

It's overwhelming.

I hate it.

Yeah.

Dear Dofam, after sourcing all 500 unique WoWs, screen cap of all individual clips and Audacity attached, I think you can now pick out the WoW audio waveform by sight alone.

Wow.

Same.

He just saw it.

He just saw it.

Wow.

I thought collecting all 500 wows would take a bit, but the drop-off episode had 165 WOWs in itself.

One wow every 35 seconds.

Jesus Christ, our show sucks.

Well, there we go.

Wow, wow.

To be fair, you did on the drop-off sit there and go, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow for like 30 seconds or so.

So that maybe got them a good jump start.

Oh, wows played one after the other runs for roughly four and a half minutes.

Enjoy question mark Thomas.

Lee 10 tickles on the Dose Chord.

Previously, sent the One Spooned Angel FF7 drop.

Whoa.

That was good.

That was a good drop.

It was great.

I mean, I just like listening to it.

It just reminds me that this podcast is not good.

I mean, yeah, I don't need to be reminded.

I think it's good.

And just, you know, I think it's a good podcast.

So God bless you.

I'll listen to some today.

Drops at birdfock.com.

Oh, yeah.

I was listening to the drop.

I was trying to source the Colton Burpo's quote while I was listening.

Colton Burpo's 25 years old.

It's been a while.

He's nearly voted for Trump twice now.

At least once.

He has at least once.

Oh, wait, you would have to think so.

Yeah, 17 times.

Three times.

Well,

1748,

17.

So for last election, he couldn't.

Well, you know, he was probably pissed about.

He was probably pissed about he couldn't vote for Trump over Biden.

If Trump gets his way, none of us will ever have to vote again.

That's also true.

Hey,

no more voting, you know, no more hitting the booth.

That's pretty good.

Free Tuesday and November.

There's a couple steps to do something else.

There you go.

You got to look at things positively.

There's no, that's the world we're in.

Our guest, you know, from the bear and English teacher, his new special live from the Windy City, is now streaming on YouTube.

Carmen Christopher is here.

Hi, Carmen.

Hey, guys.

Thanks for having me.

Thanks so much for making time for us.

Oh, my God.

Thanks for having me.

Carmen,

you have a, you're wearing a bear's hat.

You have a Chicago connection.

Did you grow up there?

Born, raised.

Wow.

Love it.

But also, you know, it's where I'm from.

So I like to, you know, be upset about it as well.

Sure.

but I love it.

I love it.

I usually don't like teams that have beat my team in championship games.

Like, I hate the Giants forever, but

I was young when the Bears beat the Patriots.

And also, I was 85 Super Bowl, was it?

Yeah.

85, yeah.

I was, I didn't see that game.

I was three years old, so I don't know if I, or I just turned three years old,

but I

like the

Bears.

I think they're my, well, I like the Bulls, too.

I'm not against any

Chicago teams.

I'm a die-hard Bears fan.

I'm a die-hard Bulls fan, but the Bulls have been really disappointing.

We talked about it earlier.

Yeah, they're a bit of a frustrating team.

It's very frustrating.

And the Bears,

they sucked this past year, but there's a lot of hope.

There's a lot of light in the tunnel right now.

For me, at least, I think Caleb Williams is going to be a star.

I think he's legit.

I think he's got a great coach and Ben Johnson now.

I think Ben Johnson's going to lead us to the promised land.

I think he's bringing in Dennis Allen as his defensive coordinator.

And a lot of these other

specialized coaching positions are going to guys who are former NFL players.

So we're building the foundation.

We got a lot of good talent.

We got to get these guys fired up.

We got to bring in an offensive line, a defensive line.

I see a s bowl in the next three to four years.

Ooh, I like this prediction.

You guys upset.

You had a couple upsets this year that were fun to watch, didn't you?

Well, you know, you got some bad bosses, too.

Well,

here's the thing about the Bears season for the football fans that have watched or not watched.

There's undeniably, we were five and whatever.

Our record sucked, but there was truly, we could have beat the Packers, we could have beat the Vikings, we could have beat the Redskins with that Hail Mary, and we could have beat the Lions.

Those are four games, right?

So what is that?

That didn't seed a nine.

And then if you know, if you have the momentum and if you're like winning these games that you should be winning, like then you don't lose games that you should be winning, like against the Patriots.

They lost to the Patriots.

They lost to the Colts at the beginning of the year.

Those are, I mean, God, Drake, Drake May.

Are you guys excited about Drake May?

Yeah, I think he's good.

I think it's going to, I think, I think, I'm excited, and I'm excited about Vrabel coming back.

And he's got a good staff.

And I'm excited.

I think you guys are probably a little further along than we are, but

I think we'll be good.

Not by much.

You know, you guys, I mean, you guys don't have as much talent on defense in your special,

you're like wide receivers and running backs.

Our offensive line is also bad.

Yeah, you guys got a while.

We got some stuff.

He doesn't watch football.

I don't watch the NFL anymore, but I did do a little bit of research

because we're talking bowl, which we'll bleep with every mention.

Because we're talking about that, the first NFL championship game was won by your Chicago Bears back in 1933.

I didn't know that.

Packers.

Isn't that wild?

Yeah.

I think it was the Giants in the first game.

Oh, was it?

Yeah.

Okay, you're probably right.

Every time we say bowl, can we bleep it with like Burpo or something instead?

So just someone saying Burpo.

Yeah, Burpo.

Burpo.

You do it.

Burpo.

Burpo.

There we go, Purple.

Okay, so you got some options.

The Burpo Bowl?

The Burpo Ball?

You guys going to watch the Burpo.

Do you guys have Burpo Bowl plans?

Honestly, I don't know.

Sometimes I'll host a little Burpo Bowl.

You do like to host, and you make yourself like a little Buffalo dip.

Buffalo dip's where it's at.

Whoever makes the Buffalo Dip is the winner of the Burpo Bowl party.

For sure.

I have two questions for you.

One.

I love questions.

Actually, I have more than two questions for you.

I love questions, Bernie.

Are you a Cubs or a White Sox fan?

God, I hate this question because I just like don't

watch baseball anymore.

And there was time periods in my life.

It was really confusing because, you know, my dad's side of the family was Sox fans.

And then I grew up and my friends were Cubs fans.

And then in high school, we would ditch high school and we would take the train, go to the games, and we get like $7 tickets and like smoke cigarettes and drink beers.

It's like that sounds like my Red Sox experience.

It was so fucking fun.

You can get cheap tickets.

We were just like these look like little kids just smoking cigarettes and spitting everywhere.

You can't like take the cigarettes.

And like, you know, that was before Wrigley turned into what Wrigley is now.

So it was cool.

And then it turned into like, like, there's something about Wrigley, like going to a game sometimes if you're just driving through.

Like, cause I literally lived

after college.

I lived um

probably

I would say

300 feet from the park wow so I was dealing with like I would just be coming home from work or trying to go to like improv class or some shit yeah and I'd have to like go through a sea of drunk Cubs fans so it like kind of turned me against sure cubs fans in a way but I'm like you know, it's not like, you know, you got Sox fans who are running on the field and knocking out umpires' eyeballs.

So it's like every fan, I think every fan,

like every city's fans are ridiculous.

So it's, I don't think that's fair.

Honestly, now that I don't live in Chicago,

I want both teams to do well just because I want Chicago to look cool.

That's nice.

You know what I mean?

That's nice.

But also, it is funny because, like, after the Red Sox went, I think the same thing happened at Wrigley, is that it became a lot more commercialized.

Tickets went way up.

It's what they call pink hat fans, which I think is just like a sexist term that they came up with.

Probably also homophobic, in fairness.

Yeah, probably.

Hey, come on now.

We're talking Chicago and Boston, baby.

But it was,

the team was harder to like after in the coming years.

And then I moved to LA, so I don't watch baseball as much as I used to at all.

But hey, Theo Epstein, I've said this before on the podcast.

They should give Epstein Island to Theo Epstein.

And then it will be a nice little change of pace.

They make it over.

They gotta hit.

They got to do something with that island.

Yeah, it's turned into a big baseball field.

Theo Epstein, Epstein Island now belongs to Theo Epstein.

My pitch, make it into Jurassic Park.

Why not?

Yeah.

It would still be less ghoulish.

That would be sick.

At least shoot the movies there.

Yeah.

Yeah, shoot some movies there.

Shoot it in Island Ooblar.

They need to bring the film industry back to Epstein Island.

It's crazy.

God.

I wonder.

Okay, so.

Get Clinton to direct one or two.

get him back on there um clinton behind the lens get clinton behind the lens you know i couldn't help but hear a decent laugh when i said what i said a couple seconds ago so go check out the special on youtube carmen christopher live from the windy city i know you plugged it but that's all that's all away that's why you're here no i'm actually i do want to be i've been i've been asking mitch i've been begging mitch can i come on and i went away for i did go away for for multiple mitch was in toronto for like about four months last year so there's an accordion outside the door i think so yeah this is this is the the thing.

So we are

playing it.

We're recording our shitty, shitty podcast in here outside, like Wayne Brady.

There's so much talent, like Wayne Brady and Nicole Bayer out there, like having fun and being talented, like right next door.

Wayne Brady is playing the accordion.

Nicole Bayer is like doing a funny bit while he does it.

Is that what's happening outside the door?

Listen,

I was in

during the LA fires.

Me and some friends, we went to Vegas.

Fun.

Because we were like, let's not go to San Diego.

We had to evacuate.

evacuate, so we were like, Let's not go to San Diego, everybody's gonna go to San Diego, right?

So, we got an uh, our friend had a house there that he let us stay at, and we were watching who's line, like, whose line came on, and we're watching Wayne Brady.

I'm watching this guy, and as I'm saying this, he's literally outside of this window.

Yeah, we're talking about as I'm watching this guy, I'm watching him, and I'm thinking to myself, I can never do that.

Yeah, I can never do what that man is doing right now.

That he is like, just to just super talent, because we all did improv, right?

We all did improv, And I would like to think that by the end of my improv run, I was pretty good at it.

And I think I was like funny and blah, blah, blah at it.

Like, you know, it's like one of those things you have to be in practice to keep being.

It's like playing basketball.

If you like take a couple months off, you're going to be rusty.

You lose your jumper.

You lose your jumper.

Yeah.

And so, and you get out of breath quicker and all that stuff.

And so, um.

But I'm watching him.

I'm like, but I couldn't do what he's doing.

What he's doing is like insane.

It's so much more challenging to like not just like, hey, I'm going to pander to my own fans, but I am going to go to an audience of tourists in Vegas.

I'm going to do improv for them.

And it's not a cool indie comedy.

It's like these are just people who are coming out to see a show, and I'm able to like entertain all of them.

It's so much more challenging.

He's a pure entertainer.

Pure entertainer, yeah.

Pure entertainer, born to do it.

He's literally right there.

Let's see how good he is without that accordion, huh?

Yeah.

This is a fucking accordion crutch he has.

Here's a pleasure.

Yeah, go on.

First of all, shitty, shitty podcast sounds like shitty, shitty, shitty, bang, bang.

I just wanted to point it out.

And then also,

I bet on Soldier Field.

That's what I was going to ask.

I was going to ask about Soldier Field.

I've bet on Soldier Field.

Poof,

my friend from college, Poof.

Do you want me to move that for you?

You know what I'm going to set it?

Well, I might want to put it back.

Okay, all right.

Oh, here, let's do this.

There you go.

Sure.

My friend.

I liked it for a little bit.

Braudio Lessoners, Carmen is moving the backpad.

We have these these lumbar back pads at that point.

With butt pads and backpads.

I use the butt pad.

Wager used the backpad.

Yeah.

That's the breakdown.

If you want the breakdown.

A peek behind the curtain.

A peek behind the curtain.

I'm padless.

Now Carmen is padless.

I'm padless.

So you were at like Soldier Field.

You've been on the field with Poove.

Yeah, me and Poove went down.

And is this Poove one or Pooh two?

This is Poove two, I think, technically.

Is this the other Pooh?

Did I meet that?

Wait, did I meet that Poove?

Have you met Luke?

I met a Poove.

Wait, did Luke come to our show at the no, I think Nate did, right?

Or maybe Luke and Nate did.

There were two guys, two of your college friends came.

One of them was a Poove.

I love Luke.

Luke, I don't know what show you came to.

I don't know if you met Wigger.

Obviously, it's, you, you know, if you met him, you get it.

He, but he, he, Poove has, he lives in New York.

Poove it.

I was sitting on that.

That was fucking good.

See, that's what I'm saying.

Wayne Brady would have made that funny.

Wayne Brady would have made that funny funny funny fun.

I see someone with a cigarette in their mouth.

Cigarettes are back.

Wait, is Wayne Brady?

I won't say who it is.

I won't out though.

Is it a different celeb?

Oh, it is.

Cigs are back big time.

Don't do it.

But if you have one every week, it's fine.

Yeah, if you want every week, you're fine.

One every week.

I think doctors recommend

one per week, but not.

You should be putting some shitty stuff in your body weekly so that you build a tolerance in case you have to smoke cigarettes.

That's a great thing.

That's smart.

There might be someone.

There's a situation where you might have to.

Like, listen, if you're around a bunch of people in your industry that you're trying to impress and they're all lighting up, you're going to say no and lose a job.

No, you're going to light up.

Yeah, you got to.

I think that was more of like a more of a concern in old Hollywood these days.

I think people are a lot more health conscious, but it's still good to be bring back old Hollywood.

We want this.

Yeah, we like the rattle.

We like all those people.

Have those lungs ready

because sometimes you got to smoke a cig to get a job.

And old Hollywood's coming back.

I've been reading the.

Do you think so?

It's coming back.

Hollywood's coming back.

After the fires, I heard that Newsome wants to start filming here again.

It's true.

There was like a huge tat, like there's a huge California state tax credit that hopefully will get some more production back in the Southland.

I made that up.

Do you think they really will?

No, it's true.

It's absolutely true.

You made that up?

Yeah, yeah.

No, they were six of an issue.

Oh, see, there you go.

Well,

what a

specific thing to make up.

Well, so here's another thing that I've been making up, and I don't know if it's going to happen, is ever since the fires, you know, what I've been saying is downtown LA is coming back.

Ooh, I like that.

I like that.

You know what though?

There was a stretch.

How long have you been here now?

Three years.

I don't know anything about this.

There was a stretch where like they were like downtown LA is coming back and then COVID hit and it was like it didn't happen.

Yeah, I've been in LA County my whole life.

There was a time when downtown LA was just kind of a wasteland.

It was there were a handful of like banks and you know the library and stuff, but it was just like pretty, a bunch of empty lots.

It was, it was not a, not a, not a fun part of town.

It got revitalized a lot, largely because of the Staples Center and the convention center, a lot of surrounding sort of infrastructure got built.

Now they're really, they've been really trying to make it into something in like the past 10, 15 years.

But it's like a little,

they haven't quite struck a balance.

It's like almost like a, like, like they're catering exclusively to like the kind of people who want to live in these luxury lofts.

And it's like, there isn't really any sort of space for anybody who's, you know, it's just, it's all super expensive condos.

It would be cool if it was easier to get to, if there was like trains that got you down there the way there are.

It just depends on where you're going from.

But yeah, it's, it's a last mile problem

there's a lot of issues why not santa monica uh but there's a lot of uh i haven't lived in santa monica in five years uh there's a there's a lot of like

there's a lot of uh there's a lot of uh don't don't dox me um there's a lot of there's a lot of it like like great ways to get

that there's a lot of great ways to get to downtown la

by train but the problem is most people don't live within a an easy you know like walk or bike ride of a train station shut the fuck up for a second we're talking about the train no i know but i'm so sick of it already.

Well, you said you were reading something and I want to get I've been reading all the Dune books and this is so we've moved past it.

It's fine.

No, I want to go back to it.

What are we going to say?

I was just going to say it doesn't matter anymore.

It's about the cigarettes thing.

I was going to say it could just have a little bit of spice from Dune and not like turn into a guild navigator.

I love how you guys fight like you've been doing a podcast for 10 years together.

Like, you know what I mean?

Like that, like the way you guys talk to each other, it's like anybody else that talks like that, you're like, ooh, we have to to like maybe like separate them.

But like you guys have been doing this so long that you guys can just be like, fuck you.

You're a fucking asshole.

Yeah.

Well, sometimes it does get bad to the point where.

But I got a pitch now off of that.

So it was good that you brought it back up.

Turn downtown into Doontown.

That would be

sand everywhere.

Sandworms.

Casey's ears are perking up.

Sexy ass,

sexy ass blue eyes everywhere.

Everybody's walking around with some beautiful eyes.

Damn.

That'd be sick as hell.

I'm going to cast everyone over there.

He's back.

Wayne Brady's back.

Bro, I didn't realize how tall Wayne Brady is.

He's pretty tall.

He's pretty tall.

He looks small.

You know what's interesting?

He looks small on screen.

Most people look tall on screen.

He's got an opposite thing going on.

Yeah.

I agree with that, actually.

He's not a small man.

He's a decent sized fellow.

I mean, and to put another way, does the camera make everyone have a four-incher?

Like, is it just kind of like the great equalizer?

I never think about the size of people's things.

Well, I didn't mean it like that.

I meant like metaphorically.

That's an interesting question.

I'm going to start watching movies and be like, I wonder how big everybody is that's yeah you're it's very you're very the opposite of nick and i because i think that is maybe what we think about really daily i was gonna say hourly but probably daily uh i'm gonna say this poop luke michaels is he has he's a season ticket bear holder he has been for a long time wow his family and he's from new york so he goes like whoa go flying for games he loves the bears is he ever looking for a new friend to take

i'm sure he's got he's got four ticks luke bring carmen with you i'm down man um beer's on me i'll buy the drinks man i'm not cheap we were gonna go this year year, and then we didn't end up going, which was, I think, a good thing.

I think it was a bad.

The Pats,

the Pats were good.

I guess it would have been good for us, right?

But

it was a bad game, wasn't it?

I mean, there's so many bad games this season.

I almost went to the Seahawks game, which

the final score was 6-3.

That was another game we could have won.

Jesus Christ.

Like, when two teams are, when there's a game and this final score is 6-3, anybody could have left with a W.

So it's like, those are other games where I'm like, now we got good coaching.

Maybe these start turning into wins.

I was on the field.

I was on Soldier Field.

Brady was warming up, throwing passes right next to me.

Cool.

And I'd done this.

He's tall as shit, too.

He's tall.

He's a tall guy.

I had done a video with him back in the day.

I didn't say anything to him.

Right.

I don't know if he would have even remembered.

And it's probably the right move to not be able to be like that.

I mean, he's warming up for the game.

I don't want to fucking.

I did a video.

Like, he doesn't want to hear that.

I would have got yelled at by Belichick or something.

It would have been so scary.

But we did.

I didn't want to do that.

We did the American flag.

Oh, you pulled the I didn't furl the American flag?

We were on the field holding the big American flag.

Wow.

I heard that you tried to light it on fire.

I was trying to light it on fire.

I heard you had a zipple and you were trying to light that.

I did not try to.

The truth is, there was a peanut in the middle of the American flag.

There was like a shelled peanut.

And so the whole time, I was working the peanut to get the peanut to me.

And I got it.

I got the peanut.

I wonder if I can find a picture of me with the peanut, but I did.

I got the peanut.

That's so so funny and i don't know if did i eat the peanut that's like some homer simpson it's so good

it's so funny i got that well luke i think luke was the one who was like hey check it out there's a peanut

peanut but is this a seasoned ticket holder perk you help unfurl the flag i think they did like you asking why they can participate they asked they asked uh they asked like hey did two people from your how did you sneak the zippo into light the flag on fire

because they usually like when you're going through the security they take your lighters yeah

i kneeled.

I did not light it.

I kneeled for the flag.

Karma's just joking around, but I have a serious question.

Is that the same flag you took to the Capitol?

Too big.

Oh, and welcome back.

You got pardon, my dad.

Congrats.

That's right.

Everyone's like, oh, he was shooting a movie in Toronto.

This boy was in jail.

This boy was in jail.

Okay, we got to talk about, speaking of Chicago, speaking of the Bears, we got to talk about the Bear,

a show you're on.

And is the you guys might recognize me as the 27th lead of the show?

It's a great show, big food show.

We had Joanna Kalo on previously.

I'm curious about your

because I think people always want to know about the food.

Is there anything that actually

done with the actual food on the show?

Oh my God, yeah.

The last episode of the first season

and

also the last episode of the second season,

it's us eating.

Like the first season.

What were we eating?

Let's look up the name of the episode.

I'm such an idiot.

What's the name of the episode of the end of the episode of the first season?

You can take a second.

Someone wants to look it up.

Here's the thing: Courtney Storr, who is Chris Storr's sister,

is like the main food consultant on the show, but also there's Maddie Matheson, who's a producer.

But Courtney is like kind of in charge, from my understanding.

Yeah.

Let it rip, right?

Is that the episode name?

The eighth.

The episode of the first season finale of the bear was Brachiol.

Yeah, yeah.

So that she she made that,

I guess that was their headline: Let It Rip.

I guess.

Yeah, no, so that she made that dish, and it was fucking banging.

Wow, and so we weren't when we were eating it, it was like we're eating it for the first time.

I'm like, whoa, this is actually good.

And you know, that's episode eight of the first season.

So if you probably don't remember me because I have zero lines, I literally eat pasta in it, but

there's another episode where she made some other pasta dish, and I had to have a reaction to it.

I had to eat it, and he like he gave me a line to say, like, say, like, whatever.

And I was like, Can I just say what I really think when I taste it?

Because I haven't tasted it, and I tasted it, and I go, Holy shit, this is like actually really good.

That was like my, I think, what I, my response.

So, the food is like legit.

That is on set, it actually is like really high quality.

Her food is good.

She's been doing a lot of stuff

for uh, the first responders and the firefighters in in LA, like making them like meatball sandwiches and stuff.

It's like, yeah.

So she's the food is legit.

That's on set.

If anybody's wondering, that food is like really good.

Is that?

Yeah.

You want to go to Party City after this and get some firefighter costumes?

Yeah.

I want one of those fucking meatball sandwiches.

Actually, to tell you something really disgusting is when I was looking at her Instagram stories, I was looking at the meatball sandwich and I wrote, holy shit, this looks awesome.

And I knew they were for like the firefighters and first responders, but I was kind of, and she responded, she's like, like, Yeah, we've been making them for the firefighters.

I was hoping she was going to be like, What's your address?

I'll send you one or something.

Right, yeah.

You know what I mean?

I'm like, I don't need that.

But like, secretly, I was like, I can like, what?

I'll have one.

Let me have one.

You know what I mean?

I had to evacuate it.

You know,

you are.

What is the food?

I'm going to clean up ash off all my windows.

What is the food like off camera?

Like, is there like, is any of the catering, any of the craft services, like beyond what you might see on a normal set or any different than on a normal set?

Oh, that's a pretty good question.

Here's the thing about that show,

which is interesting, is,

and I know you guys have worked on stuff.

Like,

when you shoot, like, you're in and out, like, in like two hours.

Like, you're not, like, sitting in your trailer for like

three hours waiting to go to set.

Wow.

You're in and out.

Like, Chris Storr, the director, is so efficient.

And I think the crew probably loves him because like you're not wasting a whole cruise day like he comes in with like such a plan he's so pre-planned that it's like he's efficient you're in you're out so it's like there's no like i never i'm just realizing this as you're asking like you know most things that i've worked on you like you have a lunch and you go stand in line for you know stuff

but they um they just like order you lunch from something they'll be like what's your order so then you order from something but there have been like but it has been like good tacos and stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's always like good, I think.

No spit buckets needed on this set.

It sounds like that's interesting to hear that there's a

and maybe that might be a thing that just is sort of like, you know, speaks to a show that really, you know, works,

is is really well made is that like behind the scenes, there's like a great process there.

Because like I've definitely been on the opposite, where it's just like, I'm here for 12 hours and I had like 45 minutes of work to be done over the stretch of this whole day.

You know what I mean?

Cause it's completely poor, it's totally poorly scheduled.

No one knows what's going on.

It's the best scheduled thing I've ever

been

like ever even like, you know, even before I was, when I wasn't in this industry, like any, like it's efficient.

That rules.

Yeah, it is really like, I think it's like good for people.

It's food.

Especially if you're fucking.

Here's the thing about Chicago.

The sky is gray.

Send people home if they don't need to be working.

Like it's fucking a depressing ass city when it's the winter.

From January, I'm telling you, man, January and February in Chicago, and then in March, you're still like, this fucking weather still sucks.

And then you're waiting in June.

And then sometimes it's just like raining in June.

Like, send people home if they don't have to work because they are not happy people.

Yeah.

You're not happy in that weather.

Yeah.

It's tough.

That's Ithaca.

Same, same thing in Ithaca.

Same, same, same, same thing.

But sometimes Chicago, oh, is it get, does it get like, because there was the year before I moved, when I moved from Chicago to New York, it was, I think it was 2013.

Like the wind chill for like a month was like negative 30, Jesus, negative 20, negative 10, like for a month.

I was taking Ubers to

the it was bad because you're Cali boy.

I am, yeah.

Fear of God, I think you meant that's what I mean.

We're built different in Chicago, man.

And I can imagine, yeah, no, no, but I've turned into a total, I've lost it all.

Like, yeah, when I go home, I'm like always cold.

My favorite, my favorite, like, northern climate, like cold weather person guy is like, if it gets cold out here, and they're like, this is nothing, you know, and then there's always the like, this is nothing, there's like the this is nothing one-upsmanship of like, this is nothing, I'm from Chicago.

It's like, oh, this, this is nothing, I'm from Minneapolis.

And then you get the, like, the, this is nothing, I'm from Toronto.

Like, it's like, it's like, there's always someone who's like from a more northern climate.

Yeah, it's like, it gets, but it gets like 65 in my house.

I'm shivering.

I'm like, I got to go to the hospital.

I can't take it.

I'm like,

this is nothing.

Well, that's the other thing.

There's also some

from guys who are legitimately cold, but they're trying to act like they're not actually cold.

There was always guys like at Ithaca who wear like t-shirts.

Do you remember that?

Like, I mean, Boston is also cold, but like, where's Ithaca exactly?

Ithaca is upstate New York.

But, like, is it how far upstate?

It's pretty upstate.

I mean,

yeah.

Oh, wow.

And it's like, it's, it's liberal arts school.

Yeah, and there's a lake there.

Uh, stockies we were talking about.

Liberal arts school.

So let me get this straight.

Everybody's on their high horse.

Just kidding, just kidding, guys.

can i get a water yeah yeah yeah of course still sparkling still or sparkling one of these can i plug this right now lacroy la croix sparkling pure zero calories zero sweetener 12 you like this you like the plain guys huh just the i like the plain guys when i just ate a bunch of shit yeah yeah which we just did i'm literally my top button is unbuttoned go ahead sorry i i was gonna ask you you were in toronto recently that's right have did you go to any of maddie matheson's restaurants no dude because we were there we were there for the

movie.

Thank you so much.

We were there for the movie, what's it called?

Friendship, Tim Robinson's new movie.

Oh, yeah.

And I have like the smallest role.

I'm in it for 10 seconds.

Very exciting.

Spoiler.

Yeah.

And then you did a show when you were up there too, right?

Well, yeah.

Andy, the director, invited.

Whitmer and I, you know Whitmer.

Yeah.

You guys know Whitmer.

Invited us.

And I was like, I want to go, but like, I'm like, I'm in it for like 10 seconds.

I was like, well, let's, let's do a stand-up show.

show.

That way, it'll pay for our trip.

So, we did a stand-up show.

So, we were there for two days.

And,

but,

uh, wait, where were we yesterday?

I was there because there's Prime Seafood Palace, which we didn't end up going to.

Oh, yeah, I forgot this show is about food.

Yeah, okay, cool.

I kind of made sure that you guys didn't go to it.

Wasn't my fault, but I was like, if you guys go to Prime Seafood Palace without me, I'll kill you, I grew up.

Yeah, it wasn't my fault, but I threatened to get you.

I threatened to kill you if you didn't go.

But the sad thing is that I went.

You You didn't get you went on your own.

Yeah, I went on my own.

And you forbid us from going without you.

Yeah, I wanted to go with you.

It's fine.

We went to Tenuno with Mars.

Oh, okay.

We had a wonderful experience.

Also, the truth is that.

I'm not mad about.

Yeah.

I am also mad about it.

I wish...

In reality, I wish you guys never came to Toronto, I guess, is what I wanted.

I wanted to eat without Mitch.

But also, the truth is that we could have gone the next night, but we were all too tired and full.

That's true.

So we went to that Italian restaurant where Drake had

shown up a couple of times.

It's fun.

Really?

Drake was there.

I got beef with Drake.

I'm with Kendrick.

Wow.

I'm running with Kendrick, man.

Yeah,

I think, yeah, we had dinner that night at a local high school.

I burned Drake there.

That's how I've burned him.

Damn, that was good.

Fuck, what am I doing?

I don't want to get on Drake's beef.

Who do you think your listeners?

Do you think they're Drake or Kendrick Heads?

I would imagine

they're like me and don't really have much familiarity with either artist.

But I think there are.

I think our listeners are as dorky as I think there's a, I contingent of listeners that are like me, but I also think there are probably, just because we have more American listeners and because I think people like, he's more contemporary, I think probably Kendrick Lamar.

There's more of Kendrick Omar fan.

I would assume so.

Break it down.

I don't know.

No, it was such an honest, like, dorky fucking.

I mean, yes.

I'm from LA, so

I got to team up with Kendrick, I suppose.

Okay, so do you think they're...

Jesus.

Okay, let me throw another.

Did I Google him fairly recently?

If you had to give your.

I use Bing.

If you had to give your fans an artist,

who would that be?

So someone from the Big Bang, like the Big,

what is the 1930s, like swing era?

Oh,

I feel like.

Mel Torme.

All right, Mel Tourme.

Glenn Miller and his orchestra, maybe?

Big Bang.

Okay, shit.

So your fans are going to listen to this episode and completely check out every time I speak.

No, I think, no,

I think we have a lot more younger listeners than we realize.

And I think we also have cooler listeners than we realize.

I know because we meet them.

Cool.

because I'm 17 and I'm cool.

Who do the producers like do you like?

What music do you like back there?

What is music like

to listen to?

This is so insane.

Interesting.

It's such an insane question.

Look, if it's the Kendrick versus Drake, I'm definitely Team Kendrick.

Okay.

Yeah, Kendrick over Drake.

Yeah.

People over pedophiles, you know.

Right.

But what's like a cool band?

Like, what's like a band like now that people listen to now?

I love the band Goth Babe.

It's actually just one dude.

Okay, I've seen you wearing Goth Babe, but I have a guy where Goth Babe in there.

It's very similar.

Shout out to Gotham.

It's very similar to

the.

Check out my special, Live from the Windy City, and check out Goth Babe.

I think the most popular artist I listen to is maybe McGee.

Oh, that's a good one.

I like McGee.

Sounds like the most popular artist?

Sounds like I listened to.

Sounds like an Irish bar with $2 beers.

Sounds great.

McGee, that sounds nice.

Put on a Goth Babe radio McGee.

And pronounced McGee.

And is this rock and roll or is this?

Yeah, he's a rock and roller.

I like that.

Yeah, I like Goth Babes.

I like Goth Babes and McGee and Live from the Windy City, my special.

And what else?

Okay.

Chapel Rone stand.

Chapel Rone.

I love Chappellerone.

Oh, Chapel Rone.

I know.

All right, so I know Chapel Rone.

I've heard of Chapel Rone.

I know that song.

It's good, like, get Jersey.

You kids don't like the Jersey Boys?

I love the Jersey boys.

What the hell?

I can't believe not.

One of you guys said the rat pack.

We were talking about it earlier.

Oh, yeah.

I love the rat pack.

What about?

I typed whoismage into bing.com.

That's, by the way.

And Tim Varragut Tim McGee is a fictional character of the CBS television series NCIS.

So I don't think that's the same name.

Can you spell it again?

M-K.

M-K-E.

G-E-E.

Yeah, MK.G-E-E.

They should put a concert together with all of our favorite artists.

Next, you should try bigging just Goth Babe and see what comes up.

Ryze, you hear that Kawalk is trying to start up the new rat rat pack?

We have a rat-like friend.

We have a rat-like friend named Koala.

That was a joke.

It took me a second, but yeah, I get what you're saying.

That's good.

Carver, I have a question for you.

Oh, I love Carlos.

Okay, Mickey.

I see.

This guy looks cool.

I like Dave Matthews' band as everyone.

I like Andrew Bird, the whistler.

He is one of the worst Muppets of all time.

He's Walter the Muppet.

He whistles for Walter the Muppet.

I love Andrew Bird, though.

I don't like as much new music.

I feel old and bad in that way.

I think it's okay.

I think Chapel Rhone's probably the only recent music that has come out where I'm like, I'm into this.

A lot of times I'm like, this isn't quite for me, but that shit gets stuck in my head.

I wish I liked new music.

A lot of the times new music

feels overproduced to me, and that is a very old man dorky opinion.

I get it.

I agree with that.

It's all digital.

It's not like analog anymore.

It's kind of like CGI versus practical effects.

It used to be played in a room.

I mean, it's so dark, and like the acoustics of the room mattered and stuff like that.

And now it feels just more like whatever.

It's this is dorky.

I can't really speak to that.

I just, I just don't like, I don't stumble upon music in the way.

Like, I like I'll hear music really only at the gym.

That's the only place I'll hear new music.

There are commercials.

Those are the only places I'll come.

I was like, what is this song?

I haven't heard this before.

And people like, oh, that's a huge song.

It's like, okay.

This song about like having another shot of whiskey or whatever.

It's like, okay.

You know, I don't have any context for it, except I hear it when I'm, you know, in the squat rack.

It sounds like a country song.

Yeah.

It's like a hip-hop rock or rap fucking country song.

I only know what

the tech seconds from TikTok, but I know what I'm talking about.

Pick hop is actually pretty funny.

Are you talking about here comes the two to the three to the song?

Yeah, that song.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They took everyone in the club getting tipsy and turned it into a country song.

Yes, everyone in the club getting tipsy.

Yes, that's the one that's also

rules.

That's Chicken Friday.

Oh, that's chicken.

Okay.

I don't like the countrification, whatever.

I like some country music.

Yeah.

But I, but I'm not a huge country head, I guess.

I like Junior Brown.

That's one country artist I like.

He's got like a steel guitar.

He's very good.

Yeah.

But that's, I think that's like from 20, 30 years ago.

Okay, I want to ask you about fried chicken because

Chicago.

The place I've had is Harold's.

Heralds, and I don't know if you have any connection to Herald's, which is

a Chicago fried chicken chain.

But then also Do Write Donuts, which I imagine might have come about after you moved out of Chi-Town, but that's a place that also has fried chicken.

We had a great time at Do-Write Donuts.

But do you have any, like, I guess do you have any fried chicken connections in general?

It's okay if it's not even Chicago-specific.

And can you give us those connections?

And then also, who do you think is

which Chicago celeb do you think liked fried chicken the most?

Oh, Dikka.

Oh, okay.

Dika probably liked fried chicken chicken.

Farley probably loved fried chicken.

Big guy.

Okay.

I guess he Chicago claims Farley.

I mean, he's a Wisconsin guy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, he died in Chicago.

He died in Chicago.

Are you from where you were born?

Or are you from where you died?

Great question.

You know what I mean?

I think it's probably where you're born, but

he is a Chicago guy.

He's a Chicago guy.

Kind of, like, you know, he did Second City and all that.

Yeah.

There's a, there's a, he did I.O.

Theater.

I.O.

Theater is probably like

at the time, like, as important of an improv.

institution as Second City, but less people know about it.

But there was a,

there was a theater, like one of the, in the training center, where he was like doing an improv scene and like punched a hole in the wall or something and i think they like left the hole in the wall and they called it the chris farley theater that's fun oh man that rules yeah but like he uh no it like people would so i guess my point being is like going through like improv classes in chicago you hear like little stories of farley here and there it's kind of cool because he is kind of maybe one of the funniest people to ever live, right?

Oh, yeah,

I think he's maybe number one.

I mean, for me, I like Sandler and Farley as the two funniest guys.

You got Sandler up there.

Wow.

I like that.

Sandler's maybe my Sandler is maybe the number one.

Have you met him?

I did meet him.

You know, I met him after me and Bugman, our buddy Bugman, we met him at,

we went to Uncut Gems, and he came up and talked to us.

And he talked to us for so long, and we kept cutting the conversation short because we

were scared.

Yeah, we didn't want like, because it went so well that you were like, I don't want to waste your time.

I don't want to be like annoying.

But he clearly wanted to talk to us because it was all other like weirdo WGA people there.

So So he was, but it was, it was, it was great.

That's awesome.

Farley, I think, is

Farley's up there for me.

What do you think?

I mean, I don't know.

Yeah, he's great.

Love Farley.

What is there to say?

He's great.

One of the best.

R.I.P.

So fried chicken, dick, or Farley, is those my options?

No, I'm just curious, like, what is your level of fried chicken fandom?

I feel like it's a food that absolutely everybody loves.

It's like, it's like pretty universally beloved.

Like, do you have any, any go-to chains or anything?

How often do you have it?

when i think of fried chicken you know i think of um

the the murder at brown's chicken in uh palestine in uh in palestine illinois

illinois yeah i've i've my boyfriend was telling me about this is like brutal

high school somebody went in there and just well no when i was in like grade school it was a big story in the news somebody went in there and just basically just you know killed a bunch of people for kind of no reason.

I can't even tell you.

So that's what I think of when I think of fried chicken.

So I like to, to, so I like to stay away from fried chicken.

Fair enough.

No, that's not true.

Okay, so the okay,

no, but so I do like, if I'm being completely honest, this question, I feel like a loser because, like,

to me, like,

like, if we're talking, like, I'm not a huge fried chicken person, I like it fine.

Yeah, I like, I definitely like it, and I will eat it, but like,

like the Chicago cliche and stereotype of like pizza and hot dogs and like beef sandwiches, like that's the shit that I eat.

Like I love Italian beef is my favorite food.

Like that's the shit that I eat.

I don't feel like we haven't had a great version of it on the podcast.

Oh, that's not true.

Portillos is good.

Did you have portillos on the pod?

Yes, we had

in Chicago.

We almost did it today.

I literally asked.

We did almost do it today.

We did not.

It was brought up to his product.

I requested it and I knew it was a ridiculous request, so I never assumed it would happen.

But then when I looked into the financials and I saw how much money you guys were making, I was actually very upset.

I was actually very upset that we didn't do Portello.

We should have taken a jet down to Portello.

My answer is the fridge.

William Perry with

the refrigerator Perry.

He's the Chicago guy, I think.

Well, you know, who I have.

I guess I'm just saying all big people, which isn't really fair.

Or the big fried chicken.

Is this kind of a segue to KFC?

Is this the point of this question?

Carmen, you are correct.

Yeah, because let me tell you something.

Fried chicken, everybody loves fried chicken.

But to me, like there was never like growing up, it was never like, I need fried chicken.

It was never like my personal thing.

Like, I remember once, like, you gotta, I'm, I'm half Mexican, half Italian.

We're not like, Mexicans aren't, like, all about the fried chicken.

Sure.

It's tacos.

You make homemade tacos, orange rice, some beans.

Simple, but good.

Italians, you know, you know what Italians do and the mom.

Yeah, we know what they do.

But it's like a lot of pastas, a lot of sauces, a lot of like even the homemade pizza and a lot of the lunch meats laid out and stuff like that.

So I was never a huge fried chicken.

If I'm eating the fast foods in Chicago, I'm eating beef sandwiches and I'm eating pizzas.

Fair enough.

I will say that fried chicken, speaking for myself, fried chicken is like my favorite food.

I'm kind of like on the opposite of the spectrum just in terms of like, I love it so much.

Yeah.

And

I want it to be good.

Like I'm very excited to eat it and I have pretty high standards for it.

Mitch, where are you on fried chicken?

I mean, I love to eat fried chicken.

By the way, it's halftime.

This is the superb bowl.

It's halftime.

We're at halftime.

It's halftime.

We're halfway through the episode.

We're at halftime.

I have to say something about the fried chicken.

Yeah.

Are you?

Do you are you before about fried chicken in general?

Well, just that my mom,

my stepdad's from Kentucky.

You know, my family's from Chicago.

And

for Thanksgiving one year, my

stepdad's mom was like, we'll host, and she's got KFC.

And my mom was pissed.

Wow.

Because she was like, this is Thanksgiving.

You didn't make a turkey.

She just straight up ordered a bucket of KFC and I fucking loved it.

But I was a kid.

For me, when I was younger, KFC, we've talked about this before, but was like one of the fancy.

fancy fast food.

It's like, we got KFC for dinner.

It'd be like,

it was.

It was like kind of like, hey, this is a, the idea of it was to be a simulacrum of a home cooked meal that you would get to go, which when it when the chain came about, it was a novelty.

It was like a thing, like, oh my God, we could get a nice dinner out, but we can have it in our own, bring it back to our own home.

Why are you confused about the halftime thing?

I told you before we started, I wanted to be like the Spurpo.

Yeah, but it's just like we haven't gotten to the topic yet.

And then, also, the other thing is, like, I don't think like clockwise, we're necessarily at the halfway mark of the episode.

You think we're past?

I don't know.

I don't have a feel for it.

I don't, well, I don't know either.

It would be fun.

We're just declaring it halftime, willy-nilly.

Now we got to make sure there's another 53 minutes of the episode.

episode or else.

So we usually split into thirds with two ad breaks, so we're definitely past the first.

Well, we should split into quarters, first of all.

We should put it into fours for the super.

That's going to fuck up our ads.

What happens at halftime?

We all go take the biggest shits we've ever taken

because it's a halftime performance.

Yeah, because like this,

these bowls we have, I'm about to be shitting for like four weeks.

Yeah, there was, it is, it was going to make you hit the porcelain bowl.

I hope so for you.

I know, I know.

I need it.

Get rid of that brown.

The amount of mashed potatoes and mac and cheese they put in those bowls, it just, it

lubricates everything that's in your system up, and you're just ready to shit, baby.

I thought that we could plop in Koala singing.

No, you're 100% right.

I thought we could plop in Kowalek singing a song at halftime or something.

Kowal is doing the halftime show and not the national anthem?

Yeah, oh, fuck.

You could do the bowl national anthem again up there.

Maybe the sloppy boys play a song at the halftime.

Oh, that's funny.

Sure.

What is that?

You want to make that ask?

Well, Kendrick, you know, on theme, we talked about Kendrick.

Kendrick.

Kendrick is the halftime.

Do we know anyone named Kendrick who's not Kendrick Lamar?

Kendrick Perkins?

All right, there we go.

We'll have Kendrick Perkins sing a song.

That would be very entertaining, actually.

Yeah, it would be great.

Kendrick Perkins.

Hello, there we go.

Okay, Lamar.

There you go.

Lamar.

All right.

Oh, hey man.

Lamar.

Yeah, we should put a Lamar.

We should have Lamar for a little song here.

Okay.

It's halftime.

Figure it out.

All right, welcome back from halftime.

Wow, what a halftime show!

What a halftime show that was.

Awesome.

Wise, we're in the second half here, and look, between the bowls, we haven't gotten to them yet, but it's a close game, I'll say.

That's right.

It is a close game between all of our contestants here in the KFC, whatever we're calling.

Should we introduce the,

yeah, we don't know what we're calling exactly, but should we introduce

the teams in the second half here of the game?

Here, we have

seven bowls, is it?

I believe it's eight different bowls.

Eight bowls.

So, yeah, maybe we put in the

put in that little

song they play for the Chicago Bulls starting lineup.

What the fuck?

Also, that's basketball.

You're Chicago Bulls.

See, he likes it.

Wayne Brady watched you do that and was just shaking his head.

Before we get specifically to that, Wax, one last detour, and I promise this is the last detour.

Okay, great.

Because we are past the halfway point.

We are past the halfway point.

So the game has to start.

It's halftime and the game has to start.

That's weird.

I've never seen it happen in

so far, but it could.

My question to you is,

what are you usually, if you're at

what eats do you like at Burpo Bowl?

Wait, what is it that you make?

I make Buffalo Chicken Dip.

So Buffalo chicken dip.

I'm not kidding you.

Straight out the oven.

There's nothing fucking better.

Wow.

If somebody brings buffalo chicken dip, because it's also like you, like you only see it at burpo, it's so like fucking like that's another thing that'll tear up your butt.

So it's another thing.

Like, you know, I, when I think of Super Bowl, I think of that.

That's what I want.

Number one.

That's number one.

Number two.

Cool, Storitos.

Cool and Doritos, baby.

Really?

Oh, no, I I don't know.

I got stuck.

I was going to just sit in the silence as long as it went.

You're not dipping the cool ranch Dorito in the Buffalo chicken dip.

That's a hat on a hat.

But I'm just like, in that context, I just have regular tortilla chips that I'm using to dip.

I don't necessarily need a cool ranch Dorito.

I was just saying

as another side that I want.

See, I don't want them in that context because I want a chip I can dip.

You're going to get the chips that you dip.

I'm saying

just another side.

Yeah, but I'm saying I don't need them for myself.

Do you prefer a chip to dip or like a little bun, like a little roll?

I'd rather dip a chip and I'd rather have also have some veggies, like a coup d'étaté that I could pick.

Here's what I don't want.

I need some vegan pigs in a

gluten-free blanket, baby.

Oh my god.

I'm joking.

I'm joking, but I do like little pigs in a blanket.

Pigs in a blanket.

If you're coming to my Super Bowl, don't you dare bring seared tofu?

Don't you bring dare tempeh nachos, dude?

Wags, don't bring uh what's a third thing besides tempeh?

Seitan.

Don't bring Seitan.

Don't bring Seitan.

Don't you be bringing up how's the air quality in my living room?

Don't be asking about the AQI and PM2 in my living room.

You were dusting ash off, you said, right?

I was dusting ash off.

Oh, yeah.

I think my answer is pretty straightforward, which is wings one, pizza two.

Nachos.

Okay.

I want pizza.

I want wings and pizza.

I think that's like the, that's like a classic, to me, like big game sort of wings and meat.

Ooh, chili's a good one.

Chili's a good one.

Chili's interesting.

Chili, I like it if I'm in freezing my ass off in Alaska.

Yeah.

But other than that, I'm sorry, but I like everything else you've said.

I think there's maybe an aspect of like, what is your environment?

Because if I'm at home by myself being a big piece of shit, that's one thing.

But if I am at a gathering, I'm like, anybody say you got to be conscious of their own blaze?

Did you say pizza already?

Yeah, pizza, yeah.

I mean, that's so basic, but like, let's talk about the pizza.

Because like, I do think that there is something awesome about somebody just pulling up with some tombstones like just oven pizza yes not necessarily just ordering and you know what people aren't talking about how good uh papa johns is wow interesting wow we've had some you know

we've had variable experiences with papa johns over the years look what i think papa johns was the one where i was like papa john's is really good papa john's is hitting sometimes we think shaq should have taken over we talked about this

opportunity to rebrand, yeah.

That would have been great.

Because no one likes Papa John himself.

Papa John Shaq should take over all the foods.

He should be our health commissioner.

So an RFK.

It is an option.

That would be great.

That would be sick.

The issue is we've tried a lot of Shaq foods and they're not.

A lot of them aren't good.

So maybe he shouldn't be in charge of Papa John.

Maybe not.

Yeah, the Shaq XL gummies,

Shaq's big chicken is really bad.

That's a really disappointing chain.

Yeah.

Some people are like, he had a chain?

I didn't even know.

He is a chicken chain, and it's a really half-assed execution.

In fact, I would say I would prefer the KFC bowls any day to Shaq's big chicken.

KFC Bowl, a famous bowl, was introduced in 2006.

The chain was founded in 1930, so it's approaching 100 years of existence, 100 years of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

How old is that?

Korean barbecue sauce was introduced along with its saucy nuggets in 2024, which we reviewed around then

with John Early and Claudio Doherty.

It is not in the Golden Plate Club, but it is the biggest chicken restaurant in the world and the fifth biggest chain restaurant overall in terms of number of locations.

Do y'all want to try to guess numbers one through four?

Number one, you will never get in 100 years.

It's a Chinese chain, but two through four, I think you could get.

Subway is number four.

McDonald's.

McDonald's is number two.

We've done this.

We've done this game before.

Yeah, yeah.

Burger King.

Not Burger King, no.

Wendy's.

No, you're thinking Burgers.

Think of something else entirely.

Nope, no.

Wait, what do we have so far?

McDonald's Subway and KFC is five.

Pizza Hunter is number three.

No.

I thought Pizza Hole was huge.

bottom.

It's not in the top five.

Panda Express.

No, you're not, you're all thinking of like lunch.

Like, like, like that in your mind.

No, it's, it's, think of a chain.

Uh, you go, it's everywhere.

It's ubiquitous.

Starbucks.

Starbucks, Amelia got it.

Starbucks is number three in the world.

Number one, another sort of like, you know, drinks and treats chain.

Costco double chunk chocolate chips.

Man, that would, if there was any justice in the world, it would be the Costco double chunk chocolate chip cookie, which is an absolute delight.

But no, it is Mixu

Ice Cream and Tea, which is a Chinese chain.

Wow.

Anyway, so what we're doing today is we have eight different bowls.

They have three bowl proteins and three bowl bases.

The proteins are original recipe, Korean barbecue, and Nashville Hot.

The bases are mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, and loaded fries.

They are available in almost every configuration, except for some reason, you cannot get Korean barbecue on top of mashed potatoes.

You are not allowed to customize whatever protein you get with your bowl.

They are all just

individually available, and that is not one of the options.

Colonel, why?

And I have a big fucking problem with young brands in general.

And I mostly encounter this with the Taco Bell app, but this is an issue with KFC app as well.

They list shit in the app, and then they just don't have it.

So it's like, like, oh, I want to get these.

Pissed off.

I'm going to get the new nuggets that they have at Taco Bell.

And they just don't have it at this location.

The coach chewing out the refs.

Same fucking thing with a cranberry Pepsi.

I was like, I saw they have cranberry Pepsi.

Let's get the cranberry Pepsi.

They're just like, we don't have it.

Here's regular Pepsi.

It's like, what the fuck are are you doing?

Like, just don't list it if you don't have it available in that particular location.

You know what your inventory is.

The colonel.

We're talking to you, the colonel, specifically the Rob Lowe Colonel.

We're fucking pissed off.

It's time for some accountability.

It's time for some accountability.

If you want to be a billion-dollar company and you're going to charge us for food, then you need to be treating us like a billion-dollar customer.

I don't know.

That's the first applause break we've had on this show.

And you know, you want to hear more applause breaks, check out live from the Windy City Carmen Christopher Special on YouTube.

Available now.

Every click gets me 0.002 cents.

Wow.

Wow.

So we need you guys clicking.

Windy because of the politicians.

That's correct.

Yeah.

I think the etymology is, I don't know exactly what it is.

I've heard it.

They blow wind up your ass.

Yeah, I've heard it.

Basically, they were full of shit.

But it is also windy as hell.

That's the other thing.

It is.

I know.

That's the thing.

And maybe we should stick.

I don't think, I think it's one of those things where there just isn't like, no one knows what the actual origin is.

There's just speculation.

Shout out to my girl Lori Lightfoot.

We miss you as mayor.

You are funny as hell.

So we're going to pick the KFC Bowl Champion.

And we did, obviously, did our Bowl tournament a few years back, Mitch, called Bowl.

But this is

a different exercise.

No, no, we didn't have fun with Purple Bowl at all, I guess.

No, but this is good.

This is specific to KFC.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And this is, again, this is a huge American brand, the Purple Bowl, the NFL, and another huge American brand, Kentucky Fried Chicken KFC.

Okay, so we have back, by the way.

America's back.

So now that this is Eric,

can we make a guess on like a big, can we make a guess on a big Purple Bowl food commercial?

Ooh, that's kind of fun.

You know what my thought is?

What's that?

Subway Jared's back commercial.

I would love to see a Subway Jared's back.

I think they could also do a misdirect where they get a different famous Jared and they just

bring in Jared.

That's the funniest commercial.

I mean, it's too funny for a brand to ever do, do, but they're like, Jared's back, and it's a different Jared.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I don't know, is there another?

Is there a famous Jared?

It would make me like Subway.

I think I would eat Subway if they did that.

That's so funny.

Jared's back, and it's who's another famous Jared?

That's what I, that's the issue.

I don't think there's,

yeah, I think it would have to be Jared Leto, which is kind of funny.

It would be funny to see Jared Leto in a Subway commercial.

Jared's back, and it's Jared's.

He's got the big pants.

That's good.

What about a Dippin' Dots commercial?

And they use AI, Michael Jackson serving the Dippin' Dots.

That's pretty good.

Bring Michael Jackson back.

Yeah.

I like that one because

he's back.

I like that one because I also have never seen a Dippin' Dots.

I don't know why Dippin' Dots isn't doing commercials.

They should.

Dippin' Dots are fun.

They should do commercials.

Everybody needs, here's my opinion.

Everybody should have a commercial.

Or Dippin Dots Ice Cream of the Future.

Yeah,

I also agree with your reference.

Yeah, everyone should have a commercial.

Because I want to see everyone's version of a commercial.

I want to see like the brokest companies' commercials.

I think that we need serious, like, we need seriousness in commercials.

Again, we also need people to be shamed in Hollywood.

Celebrities need to be shamed for doing commercials.

You know, my stance on that.

Well, yeah, because they're taking work from like normal-ass people.

Yeah, that's the bummer because there used to be

a bowl, which is, you know, it's

this

informal American holiday where it's like

the World Commercial used to be a thing where a working-class actor could make their year by booking a Super Bowl commercial.

And now it's a sort of thing, which is just like, oh, this is just a way for celebrities to get richer.

Cause we're just every ad is like Chase Bank, which two celebrities did they team up?

Which IP did they do a reunion of?

I remember excitedly telling my mom and dad and sister that Neil Campbell was in a world commercial one year.

Do you remember that?

I do remember that one year.

He was in a Bud Light Burpout World commercial, which was like, you know, it was a big deal,

especially back then.

It was rock, paper, scissors, and then Neil throws a rock at some guy's head.

Oh, yeah, I remember that.

He's like, yeah, he throws the rock.

Yeah.

It's good.

Do we know anyone else who's been in burpout?

We have to know some people who have burpout commercials.

Larry David.

Do we know Larry David?

Do we know Larry David?

I don't know.

I feel like there's like, I always like.

Every year I watch, I'm like, I see somebody.

I'm like, oh, they're in a spurpo commercial.

And then like

two days later, I forget.

So it's like, yeah, you know what I mean?

Like, yeah, you know, some guy you did like UCB with that's in one this year.

There's, yeah, there's definitely people who are.

Also, didn't Jared do 101?

Jared did UCB 101.

I think Jared, yeah, I thought you and Jared were in 101 together.

We were Doom and Deep for a while.

I hate to be a like lamer plugger guy, but I'm in a purple commercial this year.

Are you really?

For real?

Yeah,

I'm in a Casper mattress commercial, and I get up from the bed.

I go,

these beds suck.

Don't buy a bed out of a box, folks.

So it's like,

it's anti-Kasper.

I'm doing a joke.

Sorry.

I'm doing a bad joke.

I liked it.

I was kind of making it up on the spot.

I got inspired by Wayne earlier.

I liked it.

Yeah.

We liked it.

You know

what I'd like to see a role commercial for?

Because I feel like

there's such goodwill has re-emerged for this chain.

The first chain we ever reviewed on the Doughboys podcast, Chilies.

I'd like to see a Chilies, like, welcome back to Chilies.

Chilies has always been there for you.

Come on home to Chilies.

Hey, you're watching the game.

Wouldn't you like to be watching it at Chilies?

It was a serious commercial.

It was a serious commercial.

Nothing is serious anymore.

Yeah.

I like that.

It's like when corporations get to be silly.

That's not for you.

You're not supposed to be silly.

That's like Walton Goggins and do like, or like Michael Shannon, doing a deadly serious Chili's commercial.

I like that a lot.

I like that too.

Uh, we are, we're, okay, so

as far as the proteins go, my issue is the Korean barbecue is pretty sweet.

And I think when you have the sweetness of that, it clashes against the mac and cheese.

So, like, that for me was a combination that just flat out did not work.

The sweet, the, the, the sweetness and the cheese.

Like, it just, I felt it, like, it tasted pungent.

The other issue is of the bases, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, and loaded fries, loaded fries are loaded with coleslaw, of all things.

Who loads fries with coleslaw?

Yeah, but no loaded fries I've ever seen have coleslaws as a primary component.

Make some fries and coleslaw.

We do it.

I think just get rid of coleslaw in the world.

I don't think we need it as a food.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Oh, because you're Boston.

You guys are putting coleslaw on your pee pee's.

Are you going to do that?

Is that treaty?

You put coleslaw on your peepes?

We do not put our, in our, on our four-inch wieners.

We don't put them on there.

Are you guys coleslaw people in Boston?

Is that a thing?

We do like coleslaw a little.

What is it?

I just don't understand why people eat it.

It's just like anytime I see it on, I think I'm like, this is a waste of food.

Why'd you make this?

It depends on, here's the thing.

There's a lot of most coleslaws really bad.

I do like slaw.

Most coleslaw is really bad.

So I'm with you in general.

I feel like 90% of coleslaw could just be dumped into the ocean and we wouldn't miss it.

There is some really good coleslaw.

I feel like a really good vinegared slaw.

Like if that's like, you know, like sometimes that can work a little bit.

Yeah, get it out of here.

Put everything else there.

Yeah.

Thanks, Biden.

There's also certain contexts, like certain sandwiches are enhanced by the presence of coleslaw.

Like I feel like you get like a mastrami Rubin that's got like coleslaw on it.

I mean, sometimes we're like, that's really, really clicking.

I mess with that.

Yeah.

I buy that.

But as like eating it.

by itself like taking a fork into the school saw and putting your mouth it's just like why am i eating paper that's wet I mostly don't need it.

KFC's coleslaw, I don't think, is anything notable.

I think that's

why we're those fries were awful.

Bad fries, those were the worst fries I've ever had.

Bad fries.

I'll say this.

When we were talking about this episode, we're talking about all the bowls.

We decided to get every bowl wigs, which I thought was a great call.

I said, okay, I said, okay, today slaps.

That's what I said on the text channel.

Well, that was also when we were going to get the cranberry Pepsi, which we did not get.

Which we didn't get the cranberry Pepsi.

Very, a very sad thing.

Why even tease it?

I don't know.

I don't.

The greens, the colonels to blame.

I don't.

I don't get it.

I feel like KFC always fucks this up.

I think it's Yum Brand.

They fuck it up.

Taco Bell fucks it up.

Yeah.

Look, it was disappointing to me, but I was very excited to try these loaded fry.

Look, how can you go wrong?

Cheese, French fries, chicken.

Well, that's what I thought we were getting.

The only thing that's missing is that peanut that was on that flag.

Holy smokes.

It was a delicious meal.

I don't know if I ate it.

Maybe I I didn't eat out of fear.

I think I maybe did eat.

Anyways,

chicken, fries, cheese.

Yeah, sounds awesome.

And then my fries are eliminated.

The fry balls are eliminated first.

None of those worked.

I thought they were all

just awful.

Coleslaw on fries just make for like super soggy fries.

Emma, yes.

That's part of why the fries were actually.

If I dumped them out and it was like fries, but covered in like coleslaw juice.

I was like, ugh.

And there was disgusting.

And there was like bugs in mine.

there were bugs yeah there were bugs

it's weird there was like 30 bugs in mine i don't know

this is nasty i'm eating bugs why am i eating all these bugs i was like i ate like three of the fries i was like these are definitely bugs and then to make sure i ate three more and i was like yeah i just ate three more bugs i i brought up crazy i brought up the menu to look at it and it just does say loaded with kfc's original fries coleslaw and lots of bugs

so i think that's the it's maybe a

skill issue on our part it's like i didn't know there were bugs at first because there were so many types of different bugs.

So I was like, oh, I don't know.

Maybe it's just like the

maybe KFC is just,

they just have a bunch of shit they put in the bugs.

It was almost impressive how many different types of bugs were there.

And then there was like one ladybug, which I thought was cute, actually.

I said him free.

The ladybug was good.

That's really sweet of you.

Yeah.

You said you're a ladybug free?

Yeah, I took him outside and I said, like, have a good life.

Can KFC sue us for saying there's bugs in their food?

I've never got, we haven't gotten sued yet.

Yeah, because if I would like for them to come at me, because right now we're having fun, but if you come at me, I release the videos with the bugs in it.

So don't even dare.

Don't even dare come at me.

So we're safe.

Right now we're having fun.

Don't turn it into a thing unless you want it to be.

There were a lot of weird bugs in mine.

I had a scarab beetle in mine.

Oh, you had a scarab beetle.

That's why I was.

I'll fucking crunch it down like Emotep.

I had a gold.

I thought that would get a laugh out of your 1998 nines.

Well, I guess Emotep is older than the mummy from 1998.

No,

I just thought I was taking you seriously.

Oh, well, I did.

I chomped it down like Emotep.

I had a, actually, I mean, this one people will definitely like.

There was actually a gold scarab in mine.

Did you chomp it down like Emotep?

No, because it led me to treasure, like in Edgar Allan Poe's famous story, The Gold Bug.

Oh, that's cool.

It led you to treasure.

Yeah, you drop it through the eye of a skull

and it leads you to buried treasure, Captain Kidd's famous treasure.

We've all read the short story, The Gold Love, by Edgar Allan Poe.

Where did you find a skull in this?

I would love to read this.

Oh, it's in the woods and on an island in South Carolina.

Didn't Scarab just walk into Jake and Amir's office?

The CEOs, they're rich.

That's what I'm saying.

All right, here we go.

Wow, okay.

Am I in trouble?

No, no, no, people don't like CEOs anymore.

Yeah,

hands off, Jake and Amir.

I'm talking to you, Mangione.

Yeah.

You better not touch Jake and Amir.

Yeah, that whole Luigi thing is conflicting because growing up, I always wanted to be a CEO, and now I'm just like, oh, maybe it's not cool anymore.

So now I'm staying away from my CEO adventures.

Here's what I will say.

The mashed potatoes bases and the mac and cheese bases, I could eat all day.

I do like the KFC mac and cheese.

I think it's good mush, even though it's not really like actual, you know, it's like there's better mac and cheeses, obviously, but for fast food mac and cheese, I think it's pretty damn damn good.

I also love their mashed potatoes.

I have a sauce so much for their mashed potatoes.

Can I go crazy here and just eliminate one competitor out of the Super Bowl?

I want to eliminate the

Korean barbecue chicken.

I'm not going to let, I don't think we should eliminate, well, actually, maybe, yeah.

Because like, if we're eliminating loaded fries, Korean barbecue is not available on mashed potatoes.

And I think Korean barbecue and mac and cheese decidedly did not work.

So maybe it's just out.

Korean barbecue is out.

It's not available on mashed potatoes.

It doesn't

matter at all.

It's not a good thing.

And it would have been fun to try it on mashed potatoes.

Like potatoes where you would have cut it.

Chicken in a bowl is like KFC's been that's been a thing forever It's just more fuckery from young brands.

They are always pulling this kind of shit just arbitrary Brablow kernel.

I'll tell you what I could eat a bucket of those mashed potatoes

big old bucket like one of those wonderful one of those big old buckets you put down when you get a leak in your house Fill that thing with mashed potatoes and the leak water.

I'm eating that thing.

I don't give a shit.

If there's a little bit of, if there's like a couple inches of the leak water, but there's the KFC mashed potatoes in it, I'm going to eat the mashed potatoes still.

Yeah,

that's how good the mashed potatoes are.

I'll eat it with leak water.

That's, I agree with you.

I'm not thrilled to be eating the leak water, but I'm going to be suffering.

I don't want to eat the leak water.

I'm just saying, like, they had a leak at the KFC, it got into the mashed potatoes.

You know, it's like that decision you make when you're eating a sandwich and there's a little piece of hair in it.

Do you keep eating the sandwich?

The sandwich was really good.

You know, I keep eating the mashed potatoes with the leak water.

I'm doing it.

It's, I will definitely say leak water in any event would be preferable to the bugs we were given.

Yes, sir.

And look, if I got an order and it was just the leak water, yeah, I'd eat it, bro.

I would be thrilled.

I wouldn't be happy about it.

If there was a little bit of pea in the mashed potatoes,

I would probably not eat it,

but I would maybe, maybe it would, maybe it would, maybe it would eat a little bit.

Leak water is all

pee makes it like a little bit of pea.

I think what's happening is that you realize a leak is a toilet main, and then someone up there didn't realize that the toilet was out and they tried to use it.

So like a little bit of pea got into the bucket.

Okay, can I just

time out for a second we were allowed to take timeouts yeah

yeah of course so you know uh you know in theme we're talking chicago food uh devil in the white city is being said to be made is by scorsazi by scorsese with di caprio i want to be in this me too so you do too okay so we both want to be can we get in trouble for saying that we want to eat pea with mashed potatoes can we get canceled no

okay so all right so i'll do because i want to be in that movie i just don't want to get kicked out because to be fair you said you don't want to you would but you don't want to.

You don't want to.

Yeah.

I think you're in the case.

Like, you don't want to eat the pee, but like, you would.

Because if it's

good, but I don't know.

But I probably wouldn't.

I don't think you would get in trouble for eating pee.

I don't think you get canceled.

I don't think you can.

But it's not my pee.

It's KFC peed in it.

Like, one of the employees had a bad day.

Yeah.

Pe peed in the bucket of mashed potatoes, served it to me, and now

I'm stuck with this decision.

I spent four bucks on mashed potatoes.

There's pee in it, but I'm hungry, and these taste good.

And the peas, this guy's healthy.

So in this scenario,

in this scenario,

you were like, hey, sorry, I didn't get my mashed potatoes.

And the guy's like, yeah, one second.

And then you see him like zip up and then like scoop some out for you.

So you like know he peed in it.

You're not like tasting it and being like, this kind of tastes like pee.

But then also that guy's like, man, I've drank like more than, I drank over 10 glasses of water today.

I worked out.

Right.

So you know that like it's like good quality pea.

Yeah.

Yep.

Yeah.

You know, it's good.

It's like clear pea.

It's not even yellow.

So it's like clear pea.

I'll drink the clear pea.

I mean, is clear piss even piss?

It's just water, basically.

It's water, basically.

All we're saying is these mashed potatoes are so good that if there's pee in them, we might eat them.

That's

that is the truth.

And there's bugs in them, we might eat them.

Yeah.

We already ate the bugs.

What did you say?

We already ate the bugs.

I said the Chicago bear grills.

Oh, I love.

I love wow, that's a good pun.

Are you at UCB as well?

No.

That should have been an SNL.

That's an SNL audition character.

That's really good.

An audition character.

Devil in the White City, I bounced off of that book.

I read some of it years ago.

No, I mean, that was interesting.

I just like, it is one, though, I'm like, you see, you see Sorces' adaptation of Killers of Flower Moon, and I did read that book, and it's a great book, but it's like such an impressive feat to turn that book into that movie because you read it, and it does not lend itself easily to an adaptation.

So Devil in the White City is a similar sort of thing.

Like I, from what I read of it, I was like, that feels like a tough thing to adapt.

But I mean, I'm just saying.

Well, Well, it's interesting because it is like, it is two

halves.

Separate stories happening as once where you're like.

I never read it.

It's really,

I mean,

I liked it a lot.

It's a good audio book if you want to do audiobooks.

That's fun.

Yeah, it's really.

Okay.

That's all.

I loved it.

You got some crickets here.

You can put them on your Polish sausage.

That's Chicago Bear Grill.

That's good.

That's good.

I think that could have got me on the fucking show.

I had done it a few years back.

They love you know I'm all jokes aside We're talking about bugs.

Yeah, go down to Mexico City There's grasshoppers crickets all types of bugs.

They're so fucking good.

Well the way that they make the crickets is do you guys know this they put them in a bag of tortillas the crickets eat the tortillas and then so then when they bake them They're really like they taste like fucking nuts.

They taste like it's like

salty.

So like you eat them and you're like, this is a great snack.

You have it while you're drinking your beer, while you're having your mezcal.

And the protein density is so much more efficient than a steak or anything.

Yeah, I've never been to Mexico City, but I have had like chapulinas, which I don't know if that's grasshoppers, but yeah,

or crickets, but I have had that before.

And yeah, I think, I think like a crunchy bug, I'm all in on.

For me, it's just like a chewy, a mealy bug bug.

Like, I don't need like a worm.

Like, a worms to me are kind of, kind of gross.

Yeah, I don't fuck with worms.

I fuck with grasshoppers and crickets.

I ate a scorpion out there, though.

Whoa.

What was that like?

It was honestly just like super like crunchy.

and I was kind of just doing it for the Graham.

Yeah, you know what I mean?

Taking a video for some, and then I accidentally delete.

No, they take the stinger off, I'm pretty sure.

Yeah, like you don't want the stinger, Amelia's dad's name is Scorpion.

Yeah, really,

he like Tiger Weiger over here gave himself his his own nickname, Scorpion.

Does he have a Scorpion tattoo?

Yeah, that's why he got it.

That's the same thing that happened with Wiger.

That's right.

So, the so I will say this, and I think this is maybe like a, like a pretty, I mean, this is the most basic opinion you could have.

Is the original famous bull just the winner here?

The original protein on top of mashed potatoes.

There's something you like more than that.

They're the Kansas City Chiefs going into this bad boy.

Yeah.

But I don't know if they're the, I don't know if they are the, by the way, I went to Pujol down in Mexico City.

Okay.

And it's like a great restaurant.

And I, there was like ant larva.

I like ate a bunch of different stuff that I never thought because bugs do gross me.

I remember when I was younger too, like seeing those tequila lollipops that had like a fly in the middle of them and stuff like that.

And like the idea of like a bug, oh no, it had a little worm in it.

That's not a fly, a little worm.

But the idea of eating bugs kind of like grossed me up.

But at Bujol, it was one of the best meals of my life.

It was fantastic.

We ever get to Mexico City again, Bujol.

Fantastic.

I should go.

I want to go.

You should go.

I love Mexico City City.

Doughboy's Mexico City.

I'm not going for a fucking Doughboys.

All right, that's fair.

I actually, I agree with you.

We shouldn't, we should not.

Okay, so you say that's the Kansas City Chiefs going into this contest.

I think that they are kind of the Kansas City Chiefs.

So it's a classic combo.

Nashville hot chicken on top of mashed potatoes.

No, no, just the regular bowl.

The non-

So that's not your pick.

That's not my pick.

Can I put up something for elimination right now?

Yeah, please.

And this also felt kind of like a Chiefs or Patriots type of player of team going into this

into this competition.

The chicken pot pie.

We also did get a chicken pot pie, which we haven't noticed.

I thought the chicken, wait, wait, wait, I haven't noted yet.

The chicken pot pie, I think, is the closest of any of these to being like real food.

Sure, I don't mean that even in an insulting way to anything, but it's just like this, this resembles like a meal that I've had outside of the context.

Unfortunately, I'm going to put them up for elimination right now.

I think they got eliminated.

I think it's a decent pot pie, but there's no reason for me to ever order it from KFC versus all the other stuff.

I was eating these bowls,

going in, loving it.

And then you almost didn't even want a bite of the pie.

Mitch was basically, you gotta try it it's part of the competition I take a bite and I go oof and I went right back into the bowls I would love to put it up for elimination yeah all right let's get it out of here that's gone chicken pot pie is gone I for me

I

it was the Nashville hot

famous bowl or mashed potato bowl and the mac and cheese.

Those are my like, those are, those are my two finalists in the Super Bowl.

Well, so here's the thing.

I love the Nashville.

I do like the Nashville Hot.

I am a bit of a heat seeker, so I like things with some spice to them.

I really thought that that was going to be my winner going in.

My issue is I kind of felt like that plus the mac and cheese.

Again, it was these two with the Korean barbecue, but less pronounced because it's heat versus sweet.

It was kind of ungapachka just having so much sauce.

Like I feel like you're getting so much goop from the mac and cheese base and the mashed potatoes base that the original recipe actually is a better contrast versus like something that's that's coated with some other sauce.

You know what I mean?

It's just, it's just like extra goo.

Not that it's not flavorful, but I honestly felt like it was a little too much.

I think that's fascinating.

Yeah.

I think

where are your leanings?

I'm leaning.

So when we're talking about chicken and you're going sweet versus hot, I always go hot.

Hell yeah.

Personally, chicken, you want that shit hot.

Hell yeah.

Also, when I'm going mac and cheese versus mashed potatoes, I'm always like, my brain always is like thinking it's going to be mac and cheese, but the winner is 100% of the time mashed potatoes.

Yeah, I think that's fair.

And it's like, you, because you could have like, there's something about mac and cheese, like you think you're going to want a bunch of it, but after like three spoonfuls, you're like, I did this.

Yeah.

I'm done with this.

And mashed potatoes, I could eat a bucket with leek water and piss.

And

I want more of it.

And so for me, I know my winner, and I won't say it yet unless that's what you guys want.

No, I think that's well said.

I just, you know, that's another applause.

That was, yeah.

Thanks, guys.

I'm on my game today.

I'm from the Windy City on YouTube.

The thing, just leakwater is just making me think of the film A Different Man.

There's a great leaky bucket thing.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, of course.

I loved A Different Man.

My two favorite movies this year were The Apprentice and The Different Man.

Dude, The Apprentice is so good.

The Apprentice is great.

The Apprentice is my favorite movie of the year.

It's my favorite.

I love it.

I think The Apprentice, yeah, I think it might.

I liked The Apprentice, Substance, brutalists.

Those are my three favorite.

But no, what did you think of that second half of the brutalist?

I was people really didn't fuck with it, huh?

I love the first half.

Like, it was like one of these things where I was like, oh my god, it's the best movie of the year.

And then the second half of the movie was

the first half in the lobby during intermission.

I've said this before on the podcast.

I was like, I think I might have a new favorite movie.

And then the second half lost me a little bit.

I think it just kind of made the subtext text, but I still overall.

I'm still in my top 10 of the year.

That's fair.

You know what, though?

My intermission was like a full day later.

I watched watched it in pieces.

Wow.

Interesting.

Because like I was also like, I honestly didn't think I was going to like fuck with it at all.

I'm not a big Adrian Brody guy.

And then I start watching the first half and I'm watching it and I'm looking at it and I'm like, this might be the best acting performance I've ever seen.

He was killing it.

He was

like, I'm not even like, I don't really even know his work that well.

I was just like, for some reason, I was just like, I don't know.

What is this movie going to be about?

And the first half, loved it.

Turned that shit off till the next day.

Got late.

then watched the second half, and was so excited about the first half that I enjoyed the second half, too.

But, you know, I know a lot of people got beefed with the second half.

It's still in my top 10 movies,

but the second half made it from like my number one to like my 10th.

I still like it, though.

Wow, 10th?

I mean, 10th is maybe extreme.

There's substance in there for you guys.

Substance is somewhere in my top 10.

Substance is in my top 10 as well.

Top 10.

Did you guys see Nickel Boys?

I did see Nickelboys.

I liked it.

Yeah.

That was just so sad.

Yeah, it's devastating.

It's a similar sort of feeling to the brutalist for me, which is just like, I am

very impressed by this movie.

This is a staggering achievement.

The POV stuff was a little bit hard to follow.

That's why I haven't done it yet.

It's a little, yeah,

it does become a little bit hard to track.

It's a little disorienting, but it's just like such a choice that it's like, man, this is still making.

I did like it.

Yeah.

Like, I liked it a lot, but I was like, at a couple of times, I was like, I feel like I would almost be better connected if I can see them connect it in a way.

It was weird.

It was interesting.

I thought it was a cool choice.

I admire the commitment to the gimmick throughout, but yeah, it maybe kind of is.

I don't know.

It's a lot to wrap your head around.

We were saying the actress in the apprentice should have been nominated for the

sporting actor.

She did a great job.

Yeah,

she was on my second.

I think Jeremy Strong should definitely beat Kieran Culkin.

I haven't even seen it.

Great performance.

Jeremy Strong is so good.

He's so careful.

I like The Real Pain, but it's.

I don't know if it's in my top 10, but I like.

I haven't seen it.

I'm just pissed that everyone's calling it a comedy.

I don't know.

Is it a comedy?

It's got some jokes in it, but no, it's like a comedy in the way that anything is a comedy these days.

I mean, there's just like how many hard comedies were there?

How many hard comedies were there last year?

Like, we were talking about it.

I was like, was Thelma the like best comedy of the year?

I love Thelma.

But it's like,

how many are there?

Like, here's a comedy with jokes.

This is existing primarily to be, to make people laugh.

It just isn't something that gets made theatrically anymore.

Also, Sebastian Stan.

A Different Man, one of the funniest movies in the year.

A Different Man is one of the funniest movies.

Two totally different movies, killed it two totally different ways.

I don't know.

I didn't know much about Sebastian Stan beforehand.

I've seen him in stuff, of course, but I was like, damn, he's fucking great.

His transformation from like naive Trump into like the monster by the end, you're just like, how did he do that?

It was

crazy.

It's great.

A different man.

Yeah.

Kind of belongs on Hog Island, that movie.

There is.

He's going down to four inches in an afterlife.

There is Hog in a different man.

A man, by the way, a man wearing a mask.

It's like your perfect scenario where a man wearing a mask showing Hog.

There was very

eyes wide shut.

Speaking of, what is it?

Didn't someone say

the Dalio.

Yeah, we got that up top in the rows.

Just since we got in the movie conversation, and not to belabor this, but

the films in my top 10 that have not been mentioned, I'll just touch them real quick.

One, Casey Dunah, Dune Part 2 is definitely somewhere in my top 10.

Look Back, I think, is my favorite film of the year is anime.

It's just, it's fantastic.

It's so incredibly human.

And two other ones, which are, oh, Hard Truths, the Mike Lee film, and with Marianne John Baptiste, which I think is the single best acting performance of the year.

She's absolutely fucking incredible.

Everyone should watch the movie.

I saw it twice.

It's so fucking good.

And that it got shut out of the awards and that her in particular got shut out of the awards is insane.

I gotta see it so.

Just a dereliction of duty from everyone who's

a tastemaker.

But you were, hey, you were on the nominating committee.

You fucked up.

I fucking had her on my ballot, Mitch.

No one listened to me.

You didn't try hard enough.

You heard it here.

No hardcore, no, no hardcore shit on your list this year.

Yeah, I didn't include any hardcore porno on my SAGAFTRA nominees.

And the other thing is that the

Lucas 2 films, Challengers and Queer, I love both of them.

I haven't seen Challengers yet either.

Challengers is quite as hell.

I've seen Queer.

Yeah, Queer, I like the filmmaking is really cool, man.

Really cool.

Also, I didn't know until the end of the movie that that was Jason Schwartzmann.

yeah isn't a great performance man he's on a heater that was really like he was he has a lot of prosthetics on and but i was just also just like i didn't know it was him you still sometimes figure that out but also like dude i don't want to spoil anything so but i'll just say this without spoiling it yeah that scene where daniel craig

shoots up and just sits and it just sits with that i think it was a nirvana song for like two minutes it's like so sad I'm like, the commitment to like just sitting.

The filmmaking is so,

I like that movie.

I like that movie a lot.

I like Luke Lai.

He just fucking makes choices.

And yeah, it's, it's, I thought that was awesome.

The closest I got to see.

Oh, Ben.

Oh, well, just the closest I got to seeing Queer, I went to, I was supposed to meet Ben Rogers at the movie theater at Vista.

And I went there, and I was like, my friend Ben left a ticket here.

And

Queer was playing at the Vista.

And Ben was not,

he was at,

what's the theater?

It's a different location.

New Beverly.

He was at the New Beverly.

And they're like, we don't know what you're talking about.

And I kind of just was like, I'll call him.

And I just ran away.

I had to run away.

I didn't know what else to do.

It was very awkward.

So funny.

Yeah.

So you didn't watch anything.

I didn't watch anything.

I went home.

And he was like, where the hell did you go?

But I know.

So you watched the movie a lot.

And from their perspective, from the Vista, a guy passed on a story, a guy in a Tom Brady jersey walked up, saw that the movie Queer was playing and ran away.

We talked about how it looked probably really bad from their perspective.

Was he doing like like a prank video?

I was not doing a prank video for anyone who's working at the Vista that day when I looked very confused.

Casey, one of your favorites of the year, too, though, isn't it?

Queer?

Queer.

Oh, yeah.

Queer and Challenger.

The fact that he made both of those

came out in the same year, I thought was so impressive.

It's like Sebastian Stan.

It's like if those performers come out and

if those performances come out in consecutive years, he maybe gets two nominations in a row because they come out in the same year.

It's like kind of splits the vote.

I think the same thing happened with Luca's.

Both those movies are fucking great.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Anyway, hey, that was a good break.

That was a good.

You know what?

There's new movie previews during the Purple.

So that's

true.

So this kind of works in a lot of ways.

But the movies that come out at the beginning of the year are usually bad.

Right?

Yeah.

Good movies don't come out.

I didn't see Flight Risk yet.

I want to.

It's fun.

It's not good.

It's like a very B movie.

It's not good, but

it is fun.

Any predictions on what movie trailers we're going to see?

I think they're going to show Amelia Perez 2.

Wow.

That should be fun.

Just going off the awards buzz, you know, they're going to crank out a sequel real quick.

Yeah.

That's quick as hell.

Yeah.

That's good.

I'm hoping for the

Deer Hunter 2 trailer.

Oh, yeah.

I'm just waiting for that.

Yeah.

Because they still got their de-aging void, which will be an interesting choice.

Yeah.

And then he's going back for one last game of Russian Roulette.

Yeah.

I heard that.

It's good.

Deer Hunter 2.

One last game of Russian Roulette.

It's a meaty subtitle.

Kind of a mouthful.

I heard that they were going to do Indiana Jones meets Matlock 2.

Oh, wow.

They've already green lit a sequel.

This is the thing we've talked about.

Indiana Jones meets Matlock.

They're going to do a sequel.

I love that.

Well, you know,

they meet again.

It says.

You know how they've been doing these, all these Marvel crossover movies?

I'm like, let's do some rock star biopic crossovers.

Let's get a Bruce Springsteen Bob Dylan movie.

That would be fun.

That is fun.

They kind of do it with the fucking Bob Dylan Dylan movie because there is Johnny Cash's in that.

And it's almost like, and it's the same director.

It's like, I kind of almost just wish they'd gotten Joaquin

Johnny Cash and just have it be a full crossover.

They're going to start doing that shit.

They absolutely are.

They really are.

What date does this episode come out?

This comes out in the first week in February.

Oh, the first week in February.

February 6th.

Why?

Who's the kid that?

No reason.

Who's the guy that played Elvis?

What's that guy's name?

He's Austin Butler.

No, no,

the Sophia Coppola one.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

That guy's good.

It's like he's informed.

He's in Euphoria.

Yeah, I forgot his name.

He's also in,

he hosted SNL this past season.

Jacob Elori.

Oh, yes, yes, yeah.

So he played Elvis, right?

Who would you guys rather see play Elvis?

Him or me?

I'd love to see you.

I'd love to see your Elvis.

You know, I got to work on it, but

my mom's neighbors, 90-year-old woman who couldn't see well, used to tell me I look like Elvis.

So I'm like, maybe I should be playing Elizabeth.

What a compliment.

Maybe I should be playing Elvis.

I love it.

I would love to see see it.

You know, so

look out.

Look out.

Look up what happens.

See you later, Lord.

You had your show.

I got Devil and the White City coming in, the new Elvis.

Yeah, you can add these two.

You can add Devil and the White City to RIMDB if you want to.

Jason Schwartzmann, the film, I was trying to think of what it was I meant to mention.

I was trying to pull the title.

A film I didn't

love the movie overall, but he is so good in it and is Between the Temples.

His performance is actually a movie from last year.

Temples haven't seen it.

Yeah.

It's worth seeing just from

Jones Temple of Doom.

Is it like that?

Yeah, it's a between those.

It takes place between two Indiana Jones movies.

Oh, all right.

That's great.

Okay, cool.

Is Matlock there or no?

Matlock is there.

Okay, all right, good.

So

is this discussion, does this lead us towards just eliminating mac and cheese?

Is our winner going to be on matches?

Hell yeah.

So mac and cheese is out there.

So we're down.

I do think that the mac and cheese was

actually the good.

I remember when saying this thing was like, these are so good at having so much fun.

I was like, this is good, and I am having fun.

I was enjoying them.

The fries were the one thing that I was like, these are bad.

The fries were bad.

Part of the issue with the mac and cheese is you're really just getting mac and cheese and the protein versus like the more the classic famous bowl composition is you're getting potatoes corn.

Not that I'm the biggest fan of just loose corn niblets, but it's in there.

It's some textual textural variants.

Sure.

Gravy and cheese.

So it's like, it's like a bunch of different components you can kind of have in different configurations as well as the protein on top.

So we got the original recipe or the Nashville hot on top of mashed potatoes.

I lean original recipe, but Nashville hot, I'd have no problem with that.

This is your

super bowel.

I know we can't say it.

Wait, should we just say, what is the thing we're going to say instead?

1,000 times.

What is it?

Burpo Bowl.

Oh, the Burpo Bowl.

Oh, Burpo Bowl.

The Burpo Bowl.

Whoever's editing this together.

By the way, I don't like, we don't usually solicit fan art, but

I think a nice bit of wholesome fan art, if anyone wants to do, would be Mitch and I and Carmen in the afterlife.

And we've all got equal size four-inch hogs.

And also Pikachu is there.

I love that.

Yeah.

That's awesome.

And Pikachu also has a four-inch hog.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Can Fiji Chu's...

I want his to be just a little bit bigger than ours.

No, I know.

It's heaven.

We got to go by the rules of heaven.

We've got to go by the rules.

Pikachu's small, so a four-inch hotel.

Pikachu is going to be a big one.

It's going to be a fucking giant hot.

Yeah, it's going to look big on him.

It is gonna look big on him.

And if it's a picture of us in heaven, I want to have

teeth in my ears.

I know that's gross, but that's just if that's what he wants.

Yeah, I think

that's the angel thing.

You can do it.

I want to be able to eat out of my mouth and my ears.

Okay, this is weird, you guys.

Everyone's being weird now.

Everybody got weird.

In heaven, you can hear food.

That's pretty cool.

That is pretty cool.

Sick.

I mean, you can kind of hear it here, I guess.

Yeah,

but you can

really hear it.

Yeah, heaven.

you can really hear yeah yeah well vikes we got our two finalists in the soup and the burpo bowl you know no you know what i'm saying you know you can really hear the sizzle and fajitas at chilies it's true imagine if you like the a commercial starts and it's just like we we slow dissolve up from black and we're just the sizzle of a of a uh of a fiat of a fajitas platter and then we're just hearing michael shannon come in talking about oh you've switched now it's no longer uh we don't you don't you don't want to be what's his name from uh the shield and uh what's his i pitched either it could be walton goggins one of those whoever's available I love Walton Goggins.

I mean, they're back.

It's an actor with real gravitas.

It's Carmen Christopher.

And they're telling me.

It's Carmen Christopher as Elvis.

Somebody's got to do it.

Hey, these fajitas are there sizzling.

I don't know.

That sounds like a miracle.

Come on home, the Chilies.

That's a good voice.

Can you use your voice?

My move.

it does seem like it could have been a chilies commercial and whatever when elvis was still alive yeah um the two finalists here yeah i think he i think wow that's wild because elvis would have loved chilies i think he died before chili's was founded no no

i get a good chili joke um taking it from bay base kids movie animated movies from the 90s

your mom is so stupid we said it was chili outside she went outside with a spoon and a bowl That is really good.

That's pretty good.

Hey, you know why?

Elvis died two years after Chili's was founded, so he could have gone.

It's possible he went to Chili's.

Yes, that's wild.

That might have been his last.

That might have been what he was shitting out on the toilet.

Maybe that's why he died.

Chili's Chili's fault.

Chili's killed him.

Chili's killed Elvis.

I'm going to tip my cat.

Amelia, he was definitely dead before that commercial,

which is like 1994, 93.

When was that?

I don't know.

He might have wrote it, though.

You know, somebody wrote it.

Some of Tupac's music didn't come out until like 10 years after he died.

Same with Biggie.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yep.

It's a great boy.

I think the National Hot is very tasty.

And I think the original recipe is also, it's a classic for a reason.

I think they both work.

I kind of lean original recipe, but I think we just need to render a verdict here.

I mean, should we say in unison what we think should win?

I don't want to.

politicize this, but did were these bowls invented during Biden's administration or Trump's administration?

They were invented under George W.

Bush's administration.

Oh, the good old days.

Spoutry.

Can you imagine if we got Bush, we'd all be partying in the streets?

Can you imagine?

I think everybody would be, I think everybody would be happy with Bush right now.

I mean,

I think Bush is back.

Bush is back.

By the way, we've ended regulation.

We're now in overtime, just to scare you.

Remember, you were so scared?

Ooh, overtime.

Ooh, that would be a fun year.

We're about to enter overtime.

We're at overtime right now.

Wait, what makes you say they're in overtime?

We were 51 minutes.

Oh, okay.

I get what you're saying.

Fuck, we're in overtime.

Overtime of the Purple Bowl.

Yeah.

The Pats did it.

First ones to do it.

Is that true?

Wow.

That's right.

Okay, so we need to render a verdict here.

Also, tip my cap to Bebe and his children.

They're funny.

They're really good.

Bebe's kids are very funny.

Yeah.

Okay, so should we, Mitch, should we do this like we do a tournament episode?

Should we count down from three to one and then say in unison what we think should win?

I've already said what I think should win.

Yes.

So I guess it is just

what's yours?

I'm going original recipe.

No, you can be the rest.

Ooh, interesting.

And we'll say that.

We'll say it.

Okay, so I'll count it down.

And whatever your verdict is, if you agree with each other, then it's Nashville.

If you agree with, if one of you or both of you agree with me, then it's original recipe.

I will count down from three to one, Say in unison what you think your winner is on top of mashed potatoes.

Three, two, one.

Nashville Hot Chicken Potato.

Wow, congrats to Nashville Hot on top of mashed potatoes, the winner of the Super Bowl for KFC.

Second place goes to the bugs.

The bugs were busting.

The bugs were busting.

And third place goes to the bucket of leak water with a small amount of pee.

What is your fork score?

If you have to go out of five forks for KFC, not just based off this experience, but overall.

That's a really great question.

I'm three forks for KFC.

I think Mitch is four forks.

I'm not sure if you're a child.

I went up to four forks.

KFC is.

I just think there's better fried chicken out there.

Like, I'd rather get fried chicken from Vaughn's or Albertson's, which are two grocery stores out here.

I just think it's better.

Albertson's fried chicken is hitting.

So my mom used to get the fried chicken from like Jewel.

Osco.

Okay.

It's a very Chicago grocery store.

Yeah.

So like that's, you know what I mean?

Like we were never going anywhere fancy.

We weren't going to KFC.

Like if we were eating fast food, we're eating McDonald's.

We're old school.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

We're classic.

But so it is like grocery store fried chicken is really good sometimes.

Love grocery store fried chicken.

I'd take it over KFC, but I also like just among the chicken chains, I feel like Popeyes is better.

There aren't a lot of churches out here, but I think churches is generally better.

And a lot of it's nostalgia-based for me.

100%.

And I do, but I do think KFC is a place where, as much as I still like their core components, I still think their biscuits are hitting.

I like their mashed potatoes.

I like their original recipe.

I do feel like you've seen the steady decline of that place from its specialness to a place that's just squeezing a little bit more dollars out of

the menu item.

Mike, our video editor, Mike Dorfman, can we have a brown confetti falling right now for the end of the Super Bowl?

That'd be sick.

That would be sick.

I think, you know, here's the thing is, when you're rating these things, are you rating them based off of like all food in the world or fast food change?

I'm usually, it's personal to you.

I'm telling the Doughboys, the best thing.

The Doughboys, the kind of the mission statement podcast is how does it live up to its own expectations?

How does it live up to the promise of its own premise?

What is it?

Or what it's trying to be.

For what it's trying to be, is it achieving that?

Like, that's one reason why a place like the Cheesecake Factory, I think, is outstanding at being the Cheesecake Factory.

And so, for me, that's a five-fork chain.

They are doing exactly what

they're trying to accomplish.

And then it's trying to be like corporate slop, honestly, in a lot of ways.

Okay, wow.

So, corporate slop.

I mean, then I honestly think this is if

going for what they are going for, I think they're a four out of five.

Four fork chain.

Okay, very good score because it's just a bunch of shit in a bowl.

It's like so sloppy.

I literally ate and went and took a shit and came and did a podcast.

Like, like, we ate.

Like, I was like, How much time do I have, Mitch?

Plenty of time.

They're setting up, squeezed out one real quick.

They would never even have known if you didn't, if you didn't say it.

Well, they got to know.

And

now, you know, first thing I do when I get home, it's going to be another, you know, I got a bidet.

I got a, my girlfriend and my mom went on on a Christmas gift.

They got me one of those toilet seats that's also bidet.

Yeah, yeah, I love that.

I don't know.

I guess they spent like $300 on it, and it's like heated and it cleans your ass really nice.

And I looked at my mom and my girlfriend's text chain.

I was like, this is a weird gift to get me.

And they, my mom said, she goes,

she goes, I don't know much about them, but I hear that you can get an infection from them.

He still has to wipe.

And

that's still,

of course, you still wipe.

My mom's crazy.

And then my girlfriend goes, Yeah, yeah, he'll still have to wipe.

And then my mom responded, He better wipe.

I'm like, You guys, this is the most embarrassing gift I've ever gotten.

You guys are talking about me wiping.

I'm a grown-ass man who's taking care of myself.

Come on, moms get very, they get, they're on the offense about wiping since you're a baby.

You know, they wiped you out when you were a baby.

Great point.

This guy understands mom and moms and women.

That's that is true.

Moms and women.

We both got toto washlets, Wags and I.

Yeah, I like the toto.

Yeah.

The toto is nice.

Oh, see, I don't know my brand.

Should I find out my brand?

It might be a toto.

I feel like that's kind of like the dominant brand.

It's, it's, I really changing.

It's like, do you know how much time guys spend wiping you guys?

A long time.

The day

in and out, baby.

It's 100%.

It's like, it's so crazy that america is just getting on to bidets so go go if you're gonna get kfc sleep over at a friend's house who's got a bidet

clean that ass properly i agree with that a hundred percent we i will say that this is a thing this is one of many reasons i don't really love travel like i especially the bidet now and i was like i'm i'm so used to my home toilet i'm so used to the presence of that you know that that clean cleanliness that i get that that that cleansing feeling from that that that stream of warm water that when i go on the road i was like i gotta rat i wipe with toilet paper like a fucking fucking animal.

Like, what's going on here?

You know, have you guys ever, have you ever been on the bidet and the water goes so perfectly up your asshole that it shoots out your mouth?

Yes, yeah, that is that is really sad.

That's the only thing that I'm like, no, the cleanup takes forever.

When that happens,

I like call another friend in who's going, I'm like, quick, you can like, I'll wash out your asshole with my

if they get in there quick enough,

Water's coming out of your mouth while you're yelling quick.

Are you sticking with four forks?

Are you going to are you going to amend your score at all?

I think with the guests, I'll stick with four.

I don't know if this is.

And I think that's good because I don't think it is a golden play club member yet.

Like, if I'm being real, like, I won't eat.

Like, when I came in here, when I came in here, I'm heated up.

I'm yelling.

I'm calling people.

They fucking ordered KFC.

This place is a dump.

Can't believe it.

They don't respect their guests.

I want a Portillo's.

Right.

I want a Portillo.

I want a Portillo's so bad.

I was like, make her drive it an hour.

I'm going to say this.

Amelia, who I, Amelia, who you know, Carmen from

specials and stuff like that, right?

Like, you, like, uh, yeah, I know you from, I don't know you personally.

I just met when Mitch was like, oh, Carmen's going to come on.

I was like, oh, he's really funny.

I know you from I Think You Should Leave.

Cool.

Thanks.

I appreciate that.

And she said that she was, she, Amelia was willing to go to Portilla.

Oh, my God.

My argument was that there's no way a Portilla sandwich would be good after a 45-minute drive right now.

Right.

There's no way.

It could be so soggy.

I can't imagine what we'd be doing.

Me and Weiger shot it down because we just didn't want to make her drive to Portilla.

Well, I wouldn't have let that happen.

I wouldn't have cared.

She was down.

That's it.

That would be.

I would never want you to do that.

But what I really wanted was Mitch to pay the Uber Eats or DoorDash person to drive an hour.

I wanted Mitch.

Because I know Mitch just filming this big Hollywood movie in Toronto.

I know

his pockets are deep.

So what I was thinking is like, you know, it's my first time in the show, special.

You know, Mitch has been begging me.

No, I've been begging him to come on.

I was like, let's get portillos.

Mitch opens up his pockets, you know, and we get portillos.

And he didn't want to open up his pockets, you guys.

So what are you going to do?

I think he's stingy.

I think the way

I like my

coin.

I like my credit card account when it's high or low, I guess.

If we want it, because there are some Anaheim chains, there are some that are like kind of in the exurbs that are, that are pretty far out.

And Anaheim, you know, it's 45 minutes in no traffic, which never happens.

So, like, we're talking about potentially like a two-hour drive.

It could be a big fucking off.

Yeah, I would never do that.

So, but, but I'm, but I think there is a reality.

And hey, maybe, uh, maybe you can come back and, and we can do this, where we go down to Anaheim, we hit up Portillo's, we hit a few other, like, local, like, Orange County spots that aren't in L.A., and then we have like a few different episodes we can talk about.

Oh, so I got to go all the way to Anaheim?

Yeah, that scenario.

I mean, I would do it.

I would do it.

I love portillas.

Portillas, Chicago people.

What's your favorite?

Is it the Italian beef there?

I like portillas a lot.

So this is what I do.

When I go to portillas, I usually go with a friend because I want to have multiple things, but I don't want to feel like total shit afterwards.

So I get an Italian beef, you know, not super soaked with hot Jardiner, and cut it in half and split it with somebody who gets the hot dog, a Chicago-style hot dog.

And then I get my own cheese fries.

That sounds like heaven.

The cheese fries are so good at portillas.

It's just like,

so then you get everything.

You get the hot dog, you get the Italian beef, and you get the cheese fries.

Is it platinum plate?

There's other stuff too.

I can't remember.

We did it for a life.

And I have a memory of having the cheese fries, but it's possible that's a Mandela effect and we didn't actually have the cheese fries, but I remember having those and liking those.

I'm just curious if it tastes the same as the Chicago Portillos.

That's what I'm doing.

I'm curious about that, too.

I'm very curious about that.

Yeah.

Oh, so we should bring a Chicago one down and get a verdict on how well it is, how much of it approximates.

It's a damn if it's not good.

Yeah.

When my dad was dying, one of the last trips we took to Chicago.

And it was a great trip.

And I got a chocolate.

We went to Portillo's and

I got a chocolate cake shake.

Oh, yeah.

Which people like, I feel like it's become such a thing of like chocolate cake, but that chocolate cake cake shake is legit very good.

it's very, very good.

So Fortillos is currently Golden Plate Club.

Wow, who the fuck didn't give it five forks?

Mitch gave it five forks.

Both Gabris, Nangel, and Weiger gave 4.5.

Oh, so you guys did do Fortillo.

Yeah, we did.

We reviewed it in Chicago.

I'm mad at it.

That's awesome.

I'm going to listen to that episode.

Did you guys love it?

So it was all five, and then somebody got five.

You're mad at us in the past and then you don't even remember.

You know why?

Because nobody got cheese fries, according to the wiki.

So you gave it a four.

Wait, so that's interesting.

And I'm over here giving.

I gave it a five.

I'm going to change my KFC score then.

We're giving fives and fours of Portillos.

KFC's a two.

KFC is a fucking four.

KFC's a fucking two.

I'm being nice.

I had fun.

I'm being happy.

Saw Wayne Brady today.

KFC's a fucking two, if that.

Fuck KFC.

Fuck Colonel Sanders.

Don't try serving Korean chicken.

You guys are fucking from Kentucky.

Don't do it.

Don't stay inside your zone, baby.

You get a one now.

Sauce is a little bit

fucking one.

Wow, down to one fork for KFC.

Hey, that was her view of KFC and the KFC Super Bowl 2025.

It's time for a segment.

I've got a food-related survey, and Mitch and Carmen will compete to guess the results.

Let's play the family food.

But it does campaign.

Okay, so standard rules, whoever gets the most correct without collecting three strikes will win.

These were compiled by Amelia.

The theme.

Hey, I got a question for you quickly.

I know you're mad.

Yeah.

You want the episode.

You're wrapping it up.

Oh, it's fine.

We're not wrapping it up.

We're just going to the segment.

We got more show.

Did you trick your

bidet out to flush when you walk away?

No, I didn't.

No, I don't have that setting.

Because

I clunk one into the toilet

and I walk away.

That's dangerous.

Are you worried that you'll go shit here at Headgum and forget that it's not your home toilet?

Yeah, that's what it says.

You think it's dangerous that I'm going to be programmed to never flush the toilet ever again?

There are two things going on.

First off, the muscle memory aspect of you're conditioning yourself not to flush after you shit.

The second thing is sometimes that flush is a rough draft, and you got some more stuff to take care of.

So you maybe leave some streaks in the bowl.

You maybe leave a floater, and then you got a guest over there.

They go to take a flush.

First of all, this is what they're like, this is fucking disgusting.

This is my bathroom in my bedroom.

What?

You're never having company over there?

It's the toilet that's right next to his bed.

So no one else is using that it's right next to my so you want just like just floating in there there's a toilet right next to my bed and then there's a bathroom in the other room

there's no toilet in that bathroom he wanted the toilet to be right next to his bed so that instead of just always having to lay down to watch tv he can also take a shit and watch tv that is that's why i got that is why i did it i think you gotta i think you gotta flush and then inspect and then you know make sure you're in the clear it sounds like you're fucking it sounds like you're jealous of my walk away flush i can walk away it gets fucking flushed down the drain.

And I'm not jealous.

I'm not powerful pipes that wipe off, those streaks aren't staying in there.

Well, maybe you got, maybe you got new construction.

Maybe you've got like your own toilet you've picked out.

Like, because

I'm a renter, so I got whatever shitty toilet, whatever shitty pipes are in my, my fucking shitty house.

The working class man that you all think is somehow less rich than I.

I didn't say it was working class.

I just said like we rent so we don't have our own fixtures.

We didn't get to choose our own toilet brand.

Well, so choose my own fucking toilet brand.

Well, you have whatever came with your, with the place you own.

And like, what, like like you just got a new seat you didn't get a new toilet for your totem

i got the toto seat yes but what kind of toilet you rocking because our toilet brand is just like some off-brand like fucking like i don't even recognize it it's not what i'm looking at toto i got a toto for the toto you got a toto toilet yeah yeah well you have a toto brand toilet yeah so you got a you got a proper toilet yeah it's a proper toilet yeah no i've i've got a fucking whatever i got the cheapest toilet that my landlord bought same yeah well that's that you get so i gotta so i have to flush more than once mitch i can't just walk away necessarily.

Look.

You guys ever hear of a water bed?

What's that?

You guys hear of a water bed?

Well, Mitch has got a water bed toilet.

His bed flushes.

My bed does flush.

If he goes under the sheets, he can just like piss and shit

in the pool and then come out on the other side.

Yeah.

It's dangerous, though.

It is dangerous.

He's drawn a couple times.

Do you remember Freddy?

Didn't you do a burpable ad for that mattress?

Yeah, yeah, I did it.

I did that.

That's good.

I do a purple ad for that.

Do you remember the Freddy, like the fucking Freddy kill where the guy's like all fucking horny?

He's got the water bed, and there's like a mermaid under his water bed, and he's like, oh shit, I'm going to get a sex with his mermaid.

And the mermaid swims away and then swims back.

It's fucking French.

Fucking comes out of there.

He fucking kills a guy.

Holy shit.

Well, it's also funny that the guy wanted to fuck the mermaid too on top of it.

I get it, though.

He's horny.

Yeah.

Yo, mermaids are fine as hell.

Yeah, I agree.

How's it man?

There's like 10 or 11 mermaids in history.

Each and every one of them, fine as hell.

I agree.

That one, the Freddy one, is fucking fine as hell, too.

Yeah,

I've never seen a mermaid.

I don't like

that is fair.

That is, that is, and why, also, Johnny Depp gets pulled into a bed that's not what is it a water bed?

No, it's just a regular ass bag.

It's a fucking brutal kill.

There's so much fun.

Okay, so also, you should just get the

walkaway flush is cool.

You would like it.

I just wouldn't.

Sounds like you're just mad that I have it.

I wouldn't trust.

No, I don't care that you have it.

I just, I wouldn't trust the walkaway flush.

And I also am worried about what Emma brought out that I did.

I'm a kid.

I'm not being.

I make sure there's not like big shits in my tongue.

But if you're walking away, when are you making sure?

Next time you go to take a shit?

Yes, maybe sometime.

So that's the issue.

I think Margaret doesn't want Natalie to have to see his skid marks.

Yeah, exactly.

I'm being courteous.

She sees them anyways.

Does she do your laundry?

No.

All right.

I just thought she could have.

No, she's not my mom.

I do my own fucking laundry.

All right, relax.

holy damn your mom does your laundry

when i was a child all right the theme is most popular unhealthiest foods in the u.s according to universal drugstore.com amelia what the hell is this most popular unhealthiest foods this is what is this site universal drugstore.com i think the i think i think the most popular answer

yeah no it's on it said

Most popular junk foods.

I changed it to unhealthiest, and then now I realize realize that the sentence is grammatically incorrect.

So that was just me.

Okay.

And I put it in quotes because I think some of the food isn't that unhealthy.

So I didn't want to confuse people, but that ended up backfiring.

The top series at universal drugstore.com.

I don't know what that is.

Top seven answers are on the board.

Thank you for compiling this.

So Carmen, Mitch, here's how this works.

You will each alternate.

You will buzz in and say, or actually you can just alternate and guess what you think is going to be a good one.

I guarantee you this is like an anti-vax website that you got this from.

Fucking Italian.

Italians hate the vax.

I'm half Italian, so I'll get it sometime.

I got the first two shots, but I didn't want to get the booster.

Basically,

I'm punching in universal drugstore.com.

I'm going to check out this website.

Carmen, what do you think?

Do you want to take a guess here?

That's vaxphum.

For the most unhealthy foods.

Most popular, the seven most popular, people were surveyed, and these were the most seven most popular unhealthy or junk foods.

Basically, the most popular food, because the most popular foods are the most unhealthy.

So, pizza.

Pizza is number one.

Wow.

Good answer.

Good answer.

It's just cheese and sauce and bread.

Thank you.

So bad.

Thank you, Emma, for finding the sound effect sting from the Super Nintendo version of Family Feud.

All right, pizza is off the board.

Number one answer.

Mitch, your turn.

I'm going to say fried chicken, Wags.

Oh.

Fried chicken number seven.

Oh.

Okay.

uh i'll say um

like can you say like mac and cheese can you just stay in that pocket or no you can say mac and cheese is that your guess

yeah

i'm sorry you have one strike

the world

that's all right mitch uh you both have one

correct oh i knew what i want to change it to mitch you have uh you have one correct and no strikes i'm gonna say wages

my answer is french fries oh that's a good one show me french fries

oh that's unhealthy you both have a strike and a correct one

okay i'm gonna say cake

oh cake

show me cake

Why is it not two strikes?

Two strikes.

Cake healthy.

Cake is weird for us.

It's not one of the most seven most popular answers.

People are asking

yes.

Most popular, unhealthiest foods.

Say something stupid.

I'm going to go with, okay, this is very close to what I just

guessed.

So it makes cheeseburgers.

Oh, that's, yeah.

Show me cheeseburgers.

I was going to say that.

I was going to say

it says hamburgers, but I'll give it to you.

Number five.

Number five.

Not to give it to him because it's wrong.

That's okay.

I think the show would say hamburgers slash cheeseburgers, and they would give it to you.

Or just burgers.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

All right, Mitch has two and one strike carmen has one and two strikes

i haven't hot hot dogs oh show me hot dogs that's a good answer that's a good that's a damn good answer great answer hot dogs number two we're both in trouble coming up now though but i got two strikes he's only got one or no do we both have two strikes uh mitch has one strike you have two strikes here's what's off the board pizza hamburgers hot dogs and fried chicken correct there's three left there's three left two three and four are open.

I'm going to say potato chips.

Oh, that's a good one.

Potato chips.

Yeah.

Sorry, Mitch.

You get your second strike.

Why is this hard?

This is weird that it's hard.

If I was going to steer you towards something,

okay, go ahead.

So, but is cake different from ice cream?

I would stay away from sweets.

Yeah, they're not really sweet.

Yeah, I would, I would say to steer you, I would think on fries.

I would think mains and I would think savory because that's what this whole list is.

So these remaining three are kind of hard.

Okay.

Mains,

savory.

I have an answer, but

we're in trouble.

Oh.

What about motherfucking

lasagna?

Good answer.

Lasagna.

Show me lasagna.

Fuck.

Sorry, Carmen, you have collected your third strike.

Can you guys bleep this up?

Mitch, if this is also a strike, then you are tied.

If you get an answer here, then you will win the family feud.

Family food works, but all right.

Well, that's how the family food works.

We're not playing family feud.

We're playing family food.

Which is popping up a bit.

It's completely distinct.

I'm going to say something that's weird.

I'm going to say a weird one, and I don't think it's going to be on.

Like, this is what the fuck else.

I think you're going to be mad at this.

All right, I'm going to say steak.

I was going to say

that.

Show me steak.

Oh, I got number four.

I was gonna say that, but steak is the bottom.

Steak is good for you.

That's why I put unhealthiest in quotes.

Okay.

Wait, like, isn't steak not bad for you?

Because it's low in calories and it's high in fatality.

This is the thing about Family Feud.

It's because we're surveying people, what is objective truth does not matter.

I remember one time on Family Feud,

they were asking for a tourist location in France, a French landmark, and one of the top answers was the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Now, the Leaning Tower of Pisa obviously is not in France, but dipshit Americans who were surveyed said Leaning Tower of Pisa, so it's on the survey.

Like a wall in the middle of the day, in the middle of the day.

Exactly.

Like you have no idea where they're taking it.

So what the.

Yo, whoa, ho.

I love Americans, dude.

What about Italian Americans, Mitch?

Oh,

Americans.

Same guy.

that tried to burn the flag is being

ironic about this country.

Interesting.

Interesting.

Mitch, you've won the family food.

Just for funsies,

do we want to try to guess the remaining two?

Number two is something you might have if you were trying.

You know what?

It was referenced in a joke earlier.

I was going to say steak no matter what.

That is the truth, but I just was like, I don't know what else to say.

It was referenced in a joke earlier.

That's right.

There was a very funny joke we enjoyed from Bebe's Kids that involved this.

Chili.

Chili is number two.

Chili's number two.

Are you surprised by that?

You said chili today.

Damn it.

If I said chili today, I did.

At the wrong time.

Number three.

Number three, a food that you might get at a different Yum Brands restaurant.

Tacos.

Oh, wow.

Tacos number three.

It feels like a very vague thing.

Tacos could be healthy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like you could do a shrimp taco or you could do some bullshit and it's good.

Also, burritos aren't on the list.

Tacos out there.

It's not on the list.

It's actually number eight on the list.

It's not in the top seven.

It's not the top seven.

Oh, okay.

Pizza, chilies, chili, tacos, steak, hamburgers, hot dogs, and fried chicken are the top ten.

Mitch has won the favorite.

Who put this list together?

RFK Jr.

Jesus.

It's his website, probably.

I think that this list, if I ate everything on this list in a week, I'd be like, I'm doing pretty good this week.

I wouldn't think that I was doing bad.

There's some good stuff.

The steak is good for you.

Can we, I feel like for, and Mitch, I think

you do this well.

Can we do, since we're doing Family Feud, can we do like a Steve Harvey?

Like, I'll say,

give me like the most popular and healthy food, and then you could say something like, Grandma's booty, just say something dirty, like and then you do a Steve Harvey reaction to camera.

Is that all right?

Okay, cool, let's do that.

All right, Carmen, I'm looking for the most popular, unhealthiest foods in the U.S.

Um,

the end of the rat's asshole after he got done shitting out a little

uh some worms

that was pretty good.

That was really good.

Just like a restaurant value feedback, let's open the feedback.

Today's email is from Kim L from Maryland.

Kim L writes, Progresso recently released chicken noodle soup flavored lozenges for National Soup Month.

Did you see these?

These are wild.

No, no.

If you could have any food in lozenge form, what would it be?

I'd go for a buffalo wings with ranch flavor.

What the hell?

A big sarcastic g thanks to my husband, Mike, for introducing me to this mediocre pod back in 2020.

I haven't laughed one single time.

Jesus.

Well, Kim L, if you want to laugh, check out Live from the Windy City on YouTube from our guest, Carmen Christopher.

I actually promise if you just click on the link, you'll like it.

Wow.

Wow.

I actually promise.

And if you don't, if you don't, Venmo request me and I'll send you 0.002 cents.

We can link to it from our, we could probably link to it from our YouTube.

Yeah.

That's true.

If you did that, that would warm my heart.

We could

100% do that.

Here's what I would say, Kim L.

I think anything savory is going to be a little bit off-putting.

If that's the exercise where we have to come up with something savory, I have an answer to the track it, but go for it.

Also, lay off us, lady.

Jesus Christ.

We're trying.

Thank you for listening to this bullshit.

For me.

When I watch Willy Wonka, Violet Beauregard

takes the gum that is like the four cores or three curse.

You're talking the Gene Wilder one.

You're not talking about the Chalamet one.

No,

I'm not talking about Wonka.

And I'm not talking about fucking.

I'm sorry.

I hate to cut you off.

Wayne Brady is still here.

I just saw him.

This is getting out of control.

Oh, now he's now.

I'm assuming he's driving.

You guys do your thing.

No, I'm just going to go ahead.

He's got a nice card.

I imagine this guy's a billionaire.

Go ahead.

And Violet Beauregard takes gum, and she's like, it's a creamy tomato soup.

And in my mind, if I was thinking savory and it was like a lozenge and I was sick, having like a creamy tomato soup would maybe be fun to suck on.

Yeah.

Is it warm?

I don't know.

I mean, I think lozenges are always a room temp, right?

Yeah.

It's just as warm as your mouth makes it.

You know what I think?

The Violet Beauregard thing is making me think of, though, like when she goes through the whole meal, there is a certain point where she gets to blueberry pie.

And that's always been a the thing.

A blueberry pie lozenge, I think, could be delicious.

If it had that sort of blueberry pie with like vanilla.

Like a la mode, if you captured all those flavors in lozenge form, because then it being slightly warm, but like, you know, like, like

mouth temperature feels like that would be appropriate for a slice of pie.

Yeah.

Yeah, you know what?

I mean, like, honestly, that's where we should go is like desserts or sweet.

I think something, I mean, something sweet is naturally going to be a better fit for a lozenge, but I don't know if Kim Ell's question is supposed to be, hey, I want you to try to get something adjacent to chicken noodle soup.

Carmen, what do you think as far as would you go?

Sorry.

No, no, no.

I'm just texting.

It's all good.

How about like a brown butter, like a brown butter cookie?

That could be fun.

Brown butter cookie is good.

You're asking my

if you had a lozenge?

Dream lozenge.

Dream lozenge flavor.

Dream lozenge flavor is pretty simple.

For me, it's an easy question that I would like to answer right now.

Wow.

And the answer to that question is gusher flavor.

Gusher flavor?

Tastes like a gusher.

That's pretty good.

It sounds like you just want a gusher.

Yeah, I just want some gushers.

But it doesn't have the texture of a gusher, I guess, necessarily.

Let's make it a little harder.

Hard gusher.

Hard gusher gushers, baby.

And make, you know what, make it sour and with some bugs in the middle.

Makes sense.

Solid gushers is a funny idea.

Like solid

gusher.

They should trick you so that you break your teeth so that dentists finally get more money.

Now we're talking about it.

No, I'm just joking.

I hate dentists.

If you're a dentist listening right now, turn this off because this podcast is not for you.

And we don't want you listening to our stuff.

Do not watch my special on YouTube.

Oh, my God.

If you are a dentist, my comedy is not for dentists.

You want to give people cavities?

You want to steal money from us because we don't know shit about our teeth and you're tricking us, telling us we have cavities.

Look at that little black spot.

I can't see it in the x-ray.

My comedy is not for dentists.

I'll say that right now.

I feel like this.

Nick and I, we're kind of like the anti-dentist, right?

Nick.

Hell yeah.

Yeah, nice.

We've never high-fived on the show before, ever.

It's pretty good, though.

Yeah, it was pretty good.

You guys are going to love this episode if you got this far.

I think blueberry pie so far is the best answer.

Or cherry pie, Sutton Alamode.

Something like that.

Something like a compound dessert.

Or actually, hard gushers with a bunch of.

Hard gushers is actually probably the best answer.

i i will say that the the dent like i've had some bad luck with dentists lately i think i'm finally i still have one more procedure to do but i had a an issue where where a a a routine filling replacement got turned into like my tooth got cracked in the process i had to get a fucking root canal and then it completely changed my bite so now i have oral facial pain and i'm jaw popping and so that was the whole thing i had to see a specialist there i haven't spent all this money out of pocket it's a whole fucking thing i dentist did this to you i believe so but you know i can't get it you know whatever i don't lie You guys think I'm a liar.

We don't think you're a liar.

Not you.

The fans do.

No, I don't think.

People have been in the chat saying this guy's a liar.

From the hype, but the pre-release hype of the episode has been like that the Doughways are having on a liar guest.

Yeah.

Also, just so you guys know, because I know you guys have a big following.

This has been going on for 10 years.

There is a chat.

And if you guys haven't been using it, please start using the chat.

We love

it.

Log into the chat.

Log in with the chat.

You got to log into the chat.

It's different from the DOS cord.

Yeah, it's not our Discord server, the DOS, it's not the Reddit, which is good now.

And if you can't find the chat, you don't deserve to be on it.

Yeah, no, there is a chat.

Yeah.

And we're all in there.

You have to have a certain computer.

It's one of those computers that farms cryptos.

Yeah.

You gotta have one of those.

And like every time you write a comment or ask a question, it wastes 18 bottles of water.

The guy behind it just pours out 18 bottles of water.

I told you,

I also had, you had a root canal recently.

I told you, I had a toot canal.

Right.

Yeah.

There was something wrong.

Like a guy had a drill into my butt.

And this is, this is.

Oh, for real.

Yeah.

This is, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wait, what is a tooth canal?

A toot canal.

T-O-O-T.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

So it was a serious operation.

So there's a tooth in your asshole.

Yeah, there's a tooth in my asshole.

That's cool.

That way you can't shoot it.

Sounds like the bidet can't be a bad thing.

It might be why.

It might be why.

I got a tooth taken out.

You need one of those strong bidets that I have.

It shoots the water out of your mouth.

It would have shot that tooth right out.

Sometimes if you have brown throat so much, you can like grab a tooth and bring it back down.

So that's probably what happened.

Anyways, that's our episode.

If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at feedback at birdfock.com or leave us a voicemail at 830Goto.

That's 830-463-6844.

And to get the Doughboys double, our weekly bonus episode plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog, subscribe at patreon.com slash Doughboys.

Our producer is Emma Erdbrink.

Our associate producer is Emilia Marino.

Our supervising video producer is Casey Donahue.

And our video editor is Mike Dorfman.

Our guest, Carmen Christopher.

What a treat to have you on.

This was so much fun.

Live from the Windy City on YouTube.

I'm excited to check it out.

I hope all our listeners check it out.

Yes.

And

you're such a funny guy.

And congratulations.

Thank you, guys.

I appreciate that.

And just for the record, all that stuff that people are saying that I was defending Ted Bundy, that's not real.

I was never doing that.

Please don't look into it.

Thank you guys for having me.

It's so much fun.

Who I will defend?

Al Bundy.

Yeah, I was defending Al Bundy.

I just mixed up.

I mixed up the first names.

And I was calling Al Bundy Ted Bundy the whole time.

I was defending L Bundy.

Also, you know, I'll give a shout out to Jimmy Otto.

Oh, yeah, Jimmy.

Jimmy.

I love you, buddy.

There's a GoFundMe for him.

He was a shit.

Oh, I know.

I gave him money.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's a great guy.

And he worked the tech booth at UCB.

And there's a GoFundMe for him.

So if you can,

if you got the funds and are able to contribute to Jimmy, he's a guy who, for me, coming up was when I was doing comedy at UCB, was a guy who was always

nicked too.

Great dude.

He put in a lot of hours for a a lot of comedians that you like and he's a great guy so if you can contribute to that the GoFundMe I actually saw how much uh Mitch uh donated and it made me do mine anonymously because he gave way more than I was willing to give but I didn't true well I don't I don't really know him that well but it was like giving anything is so kind but I he did tech for me like two or three times at the lyrics so and he's super sweet guy lovely man I love Jimmy also I worked I did not too shabby and Jimmy did he did the lights a lot of the time for not Too Shabby, which was like a fuckaround sketch show.

Yeah.

And so I hosted that show with Mike Hanford and Dave Ferguson.

Oh, cool.

And he put in so much time to that show, which was like a big fuck around sketch.

He's a sweet show.

So he's the best.

So

he deserved that from me specifically.

No, that's awesome.

Get better, Jimmy.

We love you.

Love you, Jimmy.

Yeah, check that out.

We'll link to that and we will link to live from the Windy City on YouTube.

Check that out, Carmen Christopher.

That'll do it for this episode of Dough Boys.

Until next time for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell.

I'm Tiger Wager.

Happy eating.

See ya.

Hey, buddy, want Dough Boys merch?

We're talking hats, shirts, sweatshirts, patches, glasses, all sorts of stuff, aprons.

It's all available at kinshipgoods.com/slash Doughboys.

That's kinshipgoods.com/slash Doughboys.

Sources for the intro are in the episode description.

That was a head gum podcast.