Toront-dough: Swiss Chalet with Alana Johnston

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1883 in Canada.

John Campbell transfers power to Henry Petty Fitzmaurice as Governor General.

The nation officially adopts Standard Time.

And Thomas Patrick Phelan founds the Canadian Railway News Company, an innovative pursuit to sell food and newspapers at passenger train stations for the burgeoning national rail system.

A family business from its inception, the workforce was at first composed of Phelan's brothers, cousins, and nephews and has remained in the bloodline up until the present, surviving a destabilizing failed child succession crisis in the 1990s, as recently reported by Canadian businesses Isabel B.

Stone.

As national transport evolved, so too did the company, expanding to offer airline catering in the 1930s and shortening its name from Canadian Railway to CARA in 1961 to reflect its split focus.

But its current identity is linked to its 1977 acquisition of a Toronto rotisserie chain, which would shift its corporate emphasis from the transportation sector to brick and mortar food service.

The meat spin chain in question was founded in 1954 by Rick Moran, serving spit-roasted chicken in the style of his father's home country, its namesake neutral European hub state, which also informed its distinct dining room decor featuring wood paneling and exposed ceiling beams.

Moran would later found Canadian burgery Harvey's, which Cara also purchased in the deal.

And based off its success with a dual concepts, in the 21st century, Cara operations began gobbling up provincial eateries like a hungry chain chomp, acquiring such north-of-the-border favorites as Eastside Mario's, New York Fries, The Burger's Priest, and Quebec's answer to Moran's rotisserie, Saint-Hubert.

And with Cara's merger with sit-down concept The Keg in 2018, the once-Canadian railway news company fully rebranded as Recipe Unlimited.

And its flagship operation, the rotisserie chicken chain, so beloved that Canadians view it as a point of national pride, continues to thrive with nearly 200 locations, the most of any brand in its 1300-plus dining rooms portfolio.

This week on Dough Boys, we continue Torrent Dough, Dough Canada, the Great Bite North, a month-long culinary tour of the six with Swiss Chalet.

Welcome to Dough Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host,

Prime Minister Justin Food Dough,

the spoon man Mike Mitchell.

Yikes, this is the third episode of

the month.

Yes, we are.

And that is the roast you're at.

Prime Minister Food Dough.

What's wrong with that?

I think that's pretty good.

Food dough?

Like Trudeau, but food dough.

What about Chudeau?

Like Chudea?

Chudeau is pretty good.

It's been done.

It has?

Wait, Chudeau has been done?

Wait, this is our second Justin Trudeau roast?

We're recycling Trudeau roasts.

You know what's fun to get into?

Canadian.

Canadian politics.

I got no idea what the fuck the deal with Trudeau is.

Is he good?

Is he bad?

I think he's,

I mean, like,

he's the same sort of frustrating mainstream centrist liberal figure that we have in the United States is my understanding.

Like, things like he, like,

he's the left option that's available, but, like, he does things like he busted this rail worker strike that I don't know fully about, but it was just like, you know, it's.

Do people call him false dough?

Like, Trudeau, false dough.

Oh, that's good, Mitch.

Thank you.

Well, that's the other thing, though.

It's probably the people who call him False Doe are like the anti-vax or anti-immigrant weirdos.

So that's the other thing.

it's like, it's like, yeah, this guy is not great, but also the people opposing him are also pieces of shit.

It's the one that's supposed to be.

That's my understanding.

Can we just start on the I said a funny thing to you before?

Sorry, so what style art of this is?

I said, gungan.

Yeah, that was fun.

So we have this, the, we have these paintings that are on the wall that are all, uh, we were here at Podium Studios.

And also, this, your, your image is not mirrored from last week.

Mitch and I are sitting on different sides.

We're just mixing it up.

We're flipping, we're flip-flopping here.

Toronto.

We're up here in Toronto at Podium Studios.

Our friend Mo is helping us out up here, but

there's this painting of an add-at that's a key part of our talk.

Oh, you know what?

I even just realized in the background, there is even more of an.

Yeah, there's more of an add-at background.

And it's the pink add-at.

Yeah.

But this is, this, this is by a local artist, as is all the art in here.

And we're going to, we're trying to get that artist's name so we can shout him out.

Hell yeah.

Hell yeah.

I think it's, I like it a lot.

I like it.

Now it makes it seems like I'm being, I like the art.

The art is great.

The art's good.

Hi, Nick.

A Canadian roast with a spoon.

Lots of love.

Mark from New Zealand.

Parenthetical once got kicked out of Canada.

Wow.

Once got kicked out of Canada.

I want to hear the rest of that anecdote.

What happened there?

Kind of down under there.

A little

next order down under.

New Zealand, kind of America's, you know, New Zealand, kind of Australia's Canada in the same way.

It's true.

You know, it's the same sort of relationship that Canada has to America.

Big pic.

Oh, yes.

I've heard this big pic pic thing.

Roastedbirdfock.com.

If you want to be a New Zealand, Bic Pic.

That's how you, that's.

Yeah, I've heard big pic.

Big pic.

Bic pic.

Bic pic.

Bic pic.

Is this tough for you because it's the longest you've never spoken before?

That's like if uh

go on.

Uh, if a, uh, a, uh, my, uh, my razor blade got canceled, I he sent a woman a big pic.

Oh my God.

If his razor blade got canceled, he sent a woman a big pic.

Tell me when I can talk.

You can always talk.

Okay, whatever you want.

Introduce me.

I have so much to say.

Why didn't you think we could restrain you from talking?

I'm trying to be good.

You're being great.

I got to stop because Lana's mic's really far away from her face.

Wives, we're back.

Oh my God.

What the hell?

We had to stop down because Alana's microphone needed to be adjusted.

First of all, I don't even need one.

Everyone can hear me in Toronto.

I'm not going to lie, her mic was really far from her face, but I heard her like it was right here.

So I don't know how that worked, but I had to pick it just.

The microphone gained consciousness and tried to get away from the knife.

so true we are in podium studios in toronto for toront dough dough canada the great bite north a month on culinary tour of the six uh we have discussed tim horton so far and harvey's harvey's being a sister brand with this week's chain we got a big one today what we won't we got a big one today

wages

how what have you think of

my phone fell what do you think what do you think of pick it up we just gonna leave it on the floor right through your legs what do you think of what do you think of canada in the last 30 minutes since the last episode oh boy since the last episode rapped yeah you know i've really come to love this this crazy town uh they call the t-dot uh wow hi what fun we have up here

town of the raptors

i got it toronto raptors you know you're too bad you're not here with an extra week you couldn't i know the season's not that hasn't quite started yet so i'm not going to be able to catch any of the basketball up here yeah yeah would have loved to have seen some um some hoops of the air canada center

now we're talking maybe that's where they have my bag

your bag's at your hotel

they found my bag and it's back at my hotel we is it we the north is that the short yeah we the north yeah

there was a guy on set wearing that a crew guy and i was like oh you're after a strain he's like no i was like oh okay great just got it for free he just wants people to know he's up north yeah he's just it's more of like geographical trick for him The Maple Leafs are the bigger team up here.

Yeah, the Leafs.

Yeah, that's why I mean the NHL is like the best, the biggest sport up here.

Hockey Hall of Fame, you could go there.

Do you know?

Come on.

And correct me if I'm wrong, but this was on good authority from Norm, Mr.

Taste.

The Maple Leafs

have the most money of any franchise.

Like they have the most amount of money and are like the most losing team.

They have so much money.

It's like the fans are just die hard, but everyone's always like, they love the lease, but they're always like, oh, they're going to blow it.

And then they like win one game and everyone's like, I knew it.

Yeah.

But it's like, yeah.

They haven't won the Stanley Cup since the 60s.

1967, yeah.

Honestly, I feel like this is our year.

It might be.

Look, look, this is how I started.

Tim Horton episode by talking about the Leafs over time.

So, like, you know, because of the Leafs defenseman is who founded Tim Hortons.

That's the title.

Here's my thing is we're not talking about Tim Hortons today.

Another Totemic.

This city is nearly

unnavigable.

I totally unnavigable.

I don't agree with you.

Which public transport is great.

I'm saying driving in the city.

If the Leafs win, it will be, this city will burn.

You should, what do you mean, win?

You should see when they just made the playoffs.

They go insane.

Oh my god.

I mean, you have no idea.

It was madness here.

Like, my

parents live by the stadium.

Yeah.

So they can see from their window because they're in a condo.

You can see everybody down there.

And it was like, I mean, people were going till like 3-4 a.m.

just losing it on the streets.

People were going crazy.

According to my parents, the Rogers Center,

where the Blue Jays play,

you can, there's hotel rooms.

You can watch a Blue Jays game from your hotel where you can jack off.

You can jack off, and then, like, if someone's in the stadium, they can see you jacking off.

You can, you can use the pitch counter to jack off and see if you can beat the pitch counter.

Me, when it's time to come, I go to a stadium always,

and I just jizz away as fast as I can.

Yep, stick up those seats nice and easy.

Oh, my God.

What?

Oh, yeah, me.

I'm the gross one.

You're dropping phones all over your crotch.

What do you want from me?

I'm just trying to keep up, man.

Look, you can jack off in in the

DJs.

Legally, you're allowed to.

I think there was a game where someone was going, like, two people were going at it right, wasn't there?

Yeah, that's happened a few times.

People have just been going out in the hotel rooms, watch it because you can look out from your room directly into the stadium.

I know.

Those people are going at it.

Then they start jacking off.

Got to do something to pass the time.

Yeah.

You guys are freaks up here.

You are freaks up here.

Bars, I want to ask you about the, because I remember when the Toronto Raptors won the NBA championship, you'd set pics of the parade.

That was huge.

That was insane.

Amazing.

There were like people climbing like street lights.

Yeah, like

as soon as they won, everyone just had this hive mind to all like congregate downtown and we didn't know where we're going.

We're just following the crowd.

It was like one of the best nights in Toronto, just like running into friends.

Everyone's in great spirits.

It was the craziest I've ever seen the city.

I was so happy to watch it.

Remember how funny Kawhi Leonard was being?

Oh my God.

What did he do?

His fake laugh.

You know that laugh thing they made fun of him for?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, everybody really roasted him.

Yeah.

Everybody was really roasting him.

Uh, what was his name?

Gasol wasted

yeah, wasted on him.

Yeah, he's great.

It was awesome.

It was so that was a great brand.

It really was.

You know what I want to go to here big time?

And we talked, we saw it in the strange brew.

We saw it, but a beer store.

I want to go to a beer store.

Payne Norm used to work at the beer store.

Wow.

What?

Norm used to work at the beer.

Mr.

Day

worked at the beer store.

And so he would work in the back, like hauling all the

slats or no, no, what are the pallets?

Pallets, yeah.

I'm hauling all the beer, and all you would hear was like crashing and glass breaking.

Like it literally affected his hearing now to this day because of working at the beer store.

And

there's a lot more to the story.

I don't think I should share it, but there's a lot more to the story about the beer store.

What the hell?

Let's just say there's some shitty business.

Yeah.

Women wouldn't be shy.

They sell beer legally.

Mitch's trying to process.

Massive joke.

We got to talk to Norm about the beer.

We got to get him back in the pot and talk about the beer store.

I mean, the stories he would have for you, you absolutely have to get him on the bottom.

Norm decided not to come up here with us.

He opted not to be a part of Trump.

Okay, first of all,

is your mic trying to get away from you again?

All right, we stopped down again for another microphone adjustment.

Mine again.

And I don't think we've even introduced our guest yet.

No, we have not.

Oh,

salute ho to Nation Collier.

Emma, hit him with a drop.

Don't look at me like that.

Every time you refer to an item of food as quote, good, you'll donate $2 to the Independent Restaurant Coalition.

How's that sound?

It was good.

It was good.

It was good.

It was good.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good.

Yeah, you were.

So good.

Yeah, you were.

So good.

I don't believe that they say good on purpose.

They're not going to give the money.

That was pretty good.

I mean, was that better than Ezra or was it better than Mitch?

Come on.

Is it better than Ezra that's?

Yeah.

I believe so, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yo, here's a bad drop for a good podcast in quotes using the 90s alt classic good by Better Than Ezra.

Wow.

Well done.

24 goods were used in this drop.

So we followed your lead and sent $48 to the IRC.

Hey, that's so nice.

Everybody Farley Elliott, who gave us that challenge in the episode he guessed, did in Ty Feng episode back in the day.

That was a lot of fun.

Thanks again for supporting local restaurants and restaurant workers, XOXO, Nate, Jasper, and Joel.

from Brooklyn, aka the Sour Bros.

Wow, the Sour Bros.

We also, we should say, and we did not just donate $2 per good, but we ultimately made a donation from that episode as well.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm donating my time.

And boy, is it precious.

We will introduce you right now.

Not only my time, you don't even need to introduce me as if they don't know.

Not only my time, I'm spending social time with you guys as well, which I'm loving.

You guys are making my trip.

We've been having a blast.

Drops at birdfuck.com.

Our guest returned to the show, our good friend, Alana the Knife Johnston.

Hi, Alana.

Guys, we've been together for two days straight.

I've been having a lot of fun.

We had a lovely time last night.

You did our live show.

And just to sequence this, this is coming out, you know,

separated by weeks in our release calendar.

But last night we did our live show with you and Stephanie Beatis.

We just recorded our episode, which is coming out next week with Sean Diston.

Well, I'll just fucking spoil the guest.

We're doing Harvey's with Sean Diston next week.

Harvey's is the sister restaurant.

Wait, no,

you got it backwards.

This is the week after Distinct.

This thing came out last week.

it.

Edit all that out.

You fucking idiot.

Edit all that out.

You fucking don't.

So here we had, we just recorded our episode Harvey's with Sean Diston, which has already come out.

And now we're recording the sister restaurant, Swiss Chalet, right afterwards with you.

It's dropped his phone.

Okay.

Now we're just getting desperate for attention.

And that's kind of my thing.

I'm going to say this.

Yeah.

Why did you ask me to time?

We're 15 minutes in.

I just want to let you know.

We're doing okay.

I'm the timer for this episode.

I got you.

I got you.

I'm going to flash the the timer at you every so often, just so you know.

There's three timers going, but Emma's got a timer.

Amelia's also got a timer.

These are all times.

They're pretty close.

Look at how close we all are.

Yeah,

meanwhile, here I am having the time of my life.

Amelia, you're way behind.

You just pause.

Stop down.

Yes.

Hers is accurate.

Wow.

Okay.

So Amelia actually has the accurate one.

You two are pretty locked in, though.

That's pretty impressive how close you got.

Fucking kiss ass.

Whose ass am I kissing?

I was saying Amelia is the kiss ass to you.

Stop me down.

It's bullshit.

Look, I'm doing a good job.

She said something really funny that I forgot that I want to bring up.

I can't remember what it was, but it was similar to her getting scared about Frankenstein getting into a car accident, which I'm not.

And I vaguely remember something as well being said.

I remember that.

Is that a Swiss chalet?

Yeah, it wasn't.

She'll gamble on fish.

You did say that you would gamble.

Yeah,

you said you gambled on fish.

I always gamble on fish.

Okay, maybe that wasn't.

I mean, that wasn't it, but it was around something like that.

But that was when you, that was because you had a little birthday celebration and you just ordered of like fish cakes.

Yeah.

I don't even know what the fish in Toronto is like.

I don't care.

I will always try the fish.

If it's plant chowder, I don't care if I'm in like in the middle of the country.

I'm going to give it a shot.

No, it's good.

It's good here.

From the Atlantic.

Delicious.

What more do you want?

Yeah, you're not too far from the Atlantic.

Just a hop skipping a couple of jumps away.

I got to be honest, I'm a little jealous.

Of me.

Of the tour.

You're going to all get a knife tour tomorrow.

I'm going to be working.

Yes.

How fun is that going to be?

I am very excited.

So I am taking Nick

and the Doe gals, which we've been, which I've been saying all day.

We've been doing our own behind-the-scenes.

You guys don't even know what we were doing today.

We are like in our own plane right now.

There might be a Doe Girls vlog.

There might be Doe Girls.

You'll see.

But

I'm taking them all.

We're going to go to the waterfront and there will be an introduction to my parents.

It's going to be huge news.

I'm going to be mic and them out.

They're ready to go.

What?

I'm not going to meet your parents.

And that's by choice from them.

I basically, what happened was I just kind of said a little bit about each one of you and they went, well, three out of four, not bad.

I said, okay.

No, my mom would love you.

Love you.

My dad, we'll see.

I'm going to be in the hammer, which has great pizza up there in the hammer.

We talked about the pizza.

You have to shoot your TV show tomorrow, so you won't be available for this outing.

Aw, poor you.

So sad.

I want to go to Buffalo.

I do want to go to Buffalo.

I don't know if I will before this one.

Great outlet balls.

Maybe at the end.

Possibly.

Yeah.

I don't know if it will happen.

You could go to Buffalo and then you could go to visit, maybe visit your old stopping grounds in Ithaca and then go back home.

It's so far away.

Ithaca would be like

a

hop, skip, and a couple of jumps.

It's like two hours.

It's two hours to Buffalo.

Yeah.

Or it might be.

It's two hours to Niagara Falls.

Yeah, it's a little bit more than a hundred.

So I think it's probably like two and a half hours to Buffalo.

I would like to get down there and try some of those, the wings.

I've never done the Buffalo wing tour.

But what I'm saying is, like, if the, at the end of your trip, you're like, well, my trip's over.

I'll go stop by Buffalo for a couple of days.

You know, I mean, you can do some good notes.

You could have production fly you out of Buffalo, and that's where you leave and go back to LA.

Possible.

Let's keep talking about this.

Okay.

I just want to eat some of the, I want to go to Anchor Bro.

I want to try all the wings.

You can make this happen.

I did a Buffalo wing tour like a month ago when I was there, and it was awesome.

Yeah, it sounds like we could make a month of content on just the fucking wings in Buffalo.

They were great.

I was real sinu, but it is true.

Well, look, future months, we'll figure out.

We're doing a month of content right now.

Toronto, Doe Canada, The Great Bite North, a month-long culinary tour of the six.

We were talking about Swiss Chalet.

Harvey's, we talked about with Sean Diston.

Do you have a fork?

Do you have any thoughts on Harvey's?

And do you have a fork score for Harvey's?

Yeah.

So thoughts on Harvey's.

Grew up on it.

Love the stuff.

I'm going to say best veggie burger you're gonna get, wow, best veggie burger you're gonna get of like fast food, no question about it.

Yeah, no question about it.

Uh, they're known for it, and I mean, I gotta give it like a 4.5.

Wow, you go that high, four and a half forks.

Wags and I went three and a half forks each.

I listen, I get it, but it's just the I did.

You have the poutine?

I did.

The poutine, we love the poutine.

Okay, because that's my main thing that I get and the veggie burger.

So, you guys didn't have my main, my other main thing?

I didn't try the veggie burger, and the other thing that Distin said was was a highlight was the chicken and then the hot dog i didn't get a heated dog never had a hot dog i didn't know they had hot dog me neither this is news we should get your thoughts on next week's chain oh wait is that the one we can't say no we can see next week's chain boston pizza oh boston pizza

you know i'm not a woman to pass on things often but that's a pass wow yeah here's the thing too many toppings make up your mind and we're not in boston couple of things couple of things in play yeah fair These are fair points.

Is there Boston, Ontario, or something?

What's the deal?

No, we'll get into it next week, but the genesis of that name is that the founder was a Greek Canadian, I believe, an immigrant,

and

had two other names that were like Greek-themed that were his first choices, like Parthenon pizza and Acropolis pizza.

And he went to the copyright office.

They were like, both those were taken.

He's like, all right, fuck it.

What about Boston pizza?

And they're like, oh, you can have Boston pizza.

That's how it goes.

It's completely pretty much an arbitrary decision.

And they don't even really know if he's never lived in Boston.

He has no real connection to the city.

There's like speculation that he had a friend who was from Boston, and that's why he did it.

Stolen Valor.

It is very much so.

Yeah.

You'll get into it.

We'll get into it.

Okay.

But there is something I want to dig into that we touched on at the live show.

So you had a text exchange, you and Mitch.

Regarding whether or not something was a date, but there was one element that we didn't actually dig into.

There was an autocorrect that we didn't re-litigate.

What happened with this autocorrect?

What exactly was the transaction here?

She can tell the story.

You tell the story.

No, you tell it.

You tell it.

You love it so much.

There you go.

Bring out the phone right out of his crotch.

Let's do it before he throws it off again.

Let's see here.

Olanna, who is

when we're going to go to jack,

told me that this is a date.

And I said, okay, well, I got to go on a date with Norm when I'm back there.

She said, great.

I want that to happen, basically.

There's a hair here.

Sorry.

It's a pube?

His phone wasn't as crazy.

Yeah, yeah.

That's where it lives.

Oh, I can't find your damn text.

So I'm going to have to text you.

And you, you, look, you said you wanted to be a date.

Yeah, big time.

You've been doing this forever.

The first time I met you, you were like, too bad we never dated.

I'd eat you alive.

It's like the first time I met you.

I was like, who are you?

Okay, first of all, I already knew all about you from Holly, making fun of you before I ever met you.

Didn't need to meet you.

I already knew where I stood.

Here's okay.

Let you got to get to this auto correct because then we have to talk about today.

Okay,

so I said, walking over now, great, almost there.

And I said, and I'm also late.

I'm around the corner.

You there?

And he said, I throb so

that's why I made him read it.

He loves it so much.

First of all, you're not supposed to, you know, don't kiss, don't tell type thing.

You're not supposed to be telling people about my private text to you.

And you said it was a spelling mistake.

Well, was it?

Or was it just two texts back to back?

That's a great question.

Okay.

Oh, and I'm the bad one.

Okay, but today.

When we went to the Swiss Calais, like a lot of things in Toronto, it's down a set of stairs, right?

It's kind of underneath.

It was a little tricky to find and to find the entrance.

So I got there first.

Some are saying 15 minutes early.

So

I texted you guys to say it's down the stairs.

And you wrote, love it, intimate.

That it was intimate.

And I said, perfect for a second date.

That's true.

You were the one that said it was intimate.

That implies a date.

I thought we were meeting as friends because it didn't work out, but it worked out.

Oh, my God.

Turns out we're back on.

Sorry, Nora.

Wow.

You can have Nick.

You dropped your phone again.

I can't breathe.

I am suffocating in his phone

and his pubes, apparently.

Nice and thick.

A couple of beards going on on this bud.

Then you did.

I'm sorry, Norm.

Norm, I love you.

I'm sorry.

We love Norm.

We love Norm.

You try to do this with me when you said that

I try to ask you about plugging in my phone charger.

First of all, you didn't try to ask me.

You asked me.

You knocked on my door at 11 at night and you said you stood there helplessly and you were like is this could I just plug in my phone charger and I was like yeah dude plug in your phone charger it's the same plugs and you're like well I don't know and then kind of lingered I want to say for a bit that's insane kind of lingered did not linger you lingered a bit Mitch I did not lingered yes you did because you felt embarrassed and you wanted to see what was going on in my room I know you did did not want to see what was going on in the room

Anyways, we don't need to keep clearing up this obvious fact.

Then today, you and I were there first.

We were waiting for Wags for a minute or two.

This is like the Tim Hortons yesterday.

No, Swiss Chalet today.

No, dude.

Wait, what?

What happened?

We were there before.

Alana and I were there before you got there.

Oh, yeah, today.

Oh, and Tim Hortons.

Okay, so for both.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Interesting.

No, I don't remember what happened with Swiss Chalet.

Mitch just beat us there.

Oh, right.

That's what he's saying is that we were alone together, right?

Are you all right?

What's the matter?

No, I'm just like, I'm just saying, it's just a lot.

I've had three fucking Canadian chain restaurant meals, and like, those are the last few things I've eaten.

So I feel like I'm in a kind of a fugue state right now.

So, we did have a little private mini date before we got there, too.

It was pretty good.

We covered nothing.

Yeah.

So, that's a good date.

I noticed that this table was sticky.

Yeah.

And I noticed the

little sticky too.

I noticed that there was like 15 baby chairs in the corner.

Amelia, you got to pick at that, right?

There were a lot of baby chairs in the city.

There were a lot of baby chairs.

Wow.

But I was still hurting from Tim Hortons last night.

We had a lot of Tim Hortons yesterday.

We were, I, uh, not,

listen, I went to boot camp this morning with my mom and it was

yeah, at 7.30.

And wow.

Mom, this is, don't be offended.

I mean, you're banned from listening to anything I do, but it was kind of a lot of old ladies.

And they, one, schooled me and two, I puked right afterwards.

And that was because of the Tim Hortons.

Oh, my God.

That's why it got a two out of me.

I did at Bootcamp.

You puked.

Yeah.

Where did you puke?

In the bathroom.

I got out of there, but it was like, it was the Tim Horton, like the sugar.

I was like, oh, my God.

It just, it hit me.

Yeah, it hit me.

Yep.

Anyways, Dr.

Brett, are you a frequent puker?

No, it's, I think, I think it's like, if I'm drinking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

And then I kind of even stopped doing that because I was like, I don't want to be puking.

Maybe I'll have half a drinking call tonight.

But no, from food.

And like, no, I try not to overeat to a point of getting sick, but it was the sugar.

It just, it really was all that sugar.

No, yeah, you should just not be putting that in your body.

And we had it late at night.

We did.

Remember the beaver tip?

Like it was a whole thing.

No, it's kind of like spit, like, cause you know, we had the, I had, I tried to never have caffeine after, you know, a two or three p.m., but I, there was, it was an, it was unavoidable.

Exactly.

We had to try the drinks.

Like, so even though I was on like like three hours of sleep, I was still just like buzzing.

Yeah.

Me, I had a hard time falling asleep.

I was just so happy to be back together with my one true love.

We had a blast with you.

And I'm sad that I'm not going to be there for your tour.

So, what are you, where are you going to show?

What are you going to show?

What do you, when you take someone through Toronto?

Okay.

What do you have to show?

Well, this is specific to it's a very touristy area, but it's really beautiful.

It's literally right on Lake Ontario.

So, there is a walking path and a bike path, and there's all these like little parquettes and restaurants and bars and little coffee shops and stuff like that.

So, we're just going to go on a walking tour of that.

And if we want to stop and get something, we can.

We'll meet my parents.

And do people swim in Lake Ontario?

There's beaches, not where my parents are, but there's like beaches.

There's literally a neighborhood called the beaches.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

And, but now it's almost now that

that season is basically over at this point.

Oh, yeah.

We know, way too cold.

You can you can swim here for 30 seconds all year round.

And that's when I got here in June, July, you could do it.

It was, it was a lot, it was a lot warmer.

So no CN Tower.

You guys aren't going to see the CN tower.

We don't want to.

Yeah, we're going to walk by by it we're going to walk by this uh the um well i like to still say sky dome but yeah it's not what it's called anymore roger center yeah and air canada like i'm gonna take them to all that it's cool to see it's really fun so we're gonna go see the downtown is what we're gonna go see i here's the thing Do you like going up to a big tower?

Do you like, hey, it's a tower.

I'm going to go to Empire State Below.

And we go to the top of the Empire State Boat.

Because anytime we do any shit like that, you're just like, all right, well, I'm here at the tall fucking place.

Or it's like scary.

It's just like, ah, this is fucking, I don't want to be here.

This is fucking scary.

Oh, no, that's the glass glass happens all the time.

Yeah.

The glass floor.

I didn't walk, I didn't walk on the glass.

It's horrifying.

I mean, it's the scariest thing on the planet.

It's really not fun.

Well, then.

And kids are jumping.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

And it's like the fucking skydome.

You look down, people are just jacking off down there.

Down below.

Thanks, Great.

They got a good view.

I mean, if they're looking straight up, they can see some stuff.

Yeah, but we're going to be with my parents, guys.

We can't have this.

Yes, yes.

We promise not to jack off around your parents.

That'll be a first for you.

Okay, we, we, so we were, yes, we arrived last.

We had it, we took a little train ride over.

Uh, we went a couple subway stops.

Choo-choo.

We took the choo-choo.

You and I had a lovely train ride home last night.

We did.

I dropped you off at your stall.

We did.

That was really nice.

But like, you were, you were an incredibly crazy, incredibly able guy.

You took the choo-choo.

Then you had a choo-choo.

Mitch, that is crazy.

Wow.

More on this later.

Justin choo-doe.

Are we bringing that back?

No, it's Justin Foodo.

Yeah, today it was Food Dough.

Yes.

No, but we had a lovely time.

And

we met a couple of

local

members of the improv scene up here, Lance and Ian, who you'd known previously.

Wow, they're going to freak out that you mentioned them.

That's awesome.

Lance and Ian, what's up?

Yeah, they are.

So I taught a workshop here about a month ago.

And when I went in, it was like I was introducing myself to everyone.

And I was like, saying a bit about me and I do some podcasts or this or that.

And they were like, yeah, dope boys.

And I went, okay, so you know who I am.

Like it was like right away.

I was like, okay, so you guys already know what I do.

Perfect.

What was the workshop?

It was, okay, so it was like this eight-week workshop and they have a different teacher with like a specialty.

And mine was about honesty on stage.

So what I made everyone do was get up and start doing a scene and I would call bullshit if I didn't believe them.

And I was like, there's no fucking way you would do that.

And then I made them all tell real secrets and pull secrets out of a bin and have to do scenes on them.

It's like you just were trying to get a lot of secrets from all of your students.

Yeah.

Yeah, like, which one's your favorite, Doe?

They all said Nick.

Oh, that's nice.

Thrilled to see him last night.

You had to see their faces.

Thrilled.

No, Mitch, come on.

Everybody loves you.

They know that.

You know that.

People love you.

Our listeners like you a lot of the time.

They like you, too.

They do.

They like both.

You guys are.

We are all similar in a lot of ways.

You and our listeners.

yikes the boys are wishing we didn't shout them out now

i'm kind of the wigger of my group of friends oh cool interesting very cool

don't say i have no idea how much it turns out i'm pretty booked up for the afternoon so the walking tour is off

so yeah rogers center there's the nice aquarium i haven't seen the aquarium yet i haven't seen little canada i haven't seen toronto island i want to see toronto island i didn't know there was a toronto island how about that you know what Holly used to work.

Holly Prazoff, former guest of yours, used to work

at in

Centerville, like which is on the island.

And she used to work at a funnel cake shop.

Really?

Yeah, summer job.

And it was like all young people.

And it was like a fun summer job that everybody worked.

And it was like, wow.

Everyone was cute and having a great time and eating free funnel cakes.

We love Holly.

We might have to do Turndo because there's just too many, there's too many

great guests we could have on for the strong.

I know, I know.

So many Canadians.

be.

I'm going to stop you right there.

It's done after this.

Wow.

And on a high note?

Ended early?

Oh, yeah, lovely, lovely ride home, but we got over the Swiss chalet, which I knew what it was, but I didn't really know what it was.

And you were pretty, I'm really glad that you were available to guest on an episode in studio for us up here.

And then also you were like pushing us towards Swiss chalets and pushing us towards going to Swiss Chalet.

Yeah.

Because it really is a thing that I think certainly for a first visit, you should experience in person.

This is a rotisserie concept based on a Swiss method of preparation.

I believe that's the origin of its unique sauce as well.

It was founded in 1954 in Toronto by the same founder as Harvey would later go on to make Harvey's.

And has

a hum.

Didn't you were have you listened to anything I've said over the past two episodes?

I can't even.

It's the same company.

But not even the past two episodes.

We've just in general been just we talked about this, the Swiss Chalet Harvey combos like a month ago.

Literally an email.

You probably have the email.

Yeah, if it's in an email missionary.

I don't hear about shit.

Like, I'm beside myself right now.

Oh, cool.

Let me look at this planning email.

No, thank you.

Boring as hell.

It's not even the first time you said it this episode.

I find it fascinating.

I forgot the email.

Nick's right.

I find it fascinating.

there are 185 swiss chalet locations 152 of which are in the province of ontario so 82 of them this is a very toronto and ontario area chain specifically oh yeah but alana what is your history with the swiss chalet i am so glad you asked okay here's the deal about the swiss chalet basically it's like if you were going in my town growing up if you were going on like a nicer date you were going to the swiss chalet

really

yes

because it was classy it wasn't like chicken tenders.

It was like chicken breast and or like, you know what I mean?

And you're sitting down at table service.

Yes, you can get a baked potato.

It's like a whole, you know, it's like a whole thing.

I would go there with my,

sad to say now, ex-boyfriend.

Why is that sad to say?

I miss him, Mitch.

I miss him.

Okay, when you know, you know.

It's as simple as that.

I'm Team Norm.

I love Norm.

We love Norm.

Well, Norm's, Norm's Team Brock.

Okay, that's his name.

My high school boyfriend.

And I love him and I want him back.

Brock stinks.

I think he did of weed.

No one worked at the beer store.

Brock was a drug dealer.

He sounds bad.

Brock is stinking.

He literally did stink of weed.

Yeah, he sounds awful.

Oh, no, miss him.

But anyway.

He took you to dates at the Swiss LA.

Yes.

This guy sucks.

He's a dream.

He had a car and I lived in the country.

But, you know, we did get an accident.

He drove us off a cliff one time.

Oh, my God.

That's That's another episode.

Anyway,

the man, the drug dealer who smells bad and drove you off a cliff.

He's my everything.

Wait, how did he drive off a cliff?

Okay, really quick.

Yeah.

I grew up like in farm country, like in our, you know, off dirt roads.

The city is Orangeville, I believe.

Yes.

So like off the road.

Did the road runner draw lines off?

Yeah, pretty much.

There was a porcupine crossing, and he was going really really fast and like an absolute idiot.

Yeah, there you go.

That's going to give you a flat.

And that's the worry there.

That's the worry there.

That's why he had to swerve.

So we didn't get a flat tire, but instead drove off a cliff.

The car landed straight, like the front of it, all the way down in this like marsh, straight up.

So when I undid my seatbelt, I

fall slammed down at the front of the car.

Then I had to climb out.

And when I jumped off, I burnt my whole leg on the exhaust then we had to walk two kilometers to the nearest house i had no shoes so we had to walk on dirt road two kilometers we're like did you lose the shoes

shoes in the accident pardon no my shoes it was heels and they broke when i tried to get out oh my god so i had no shoes to wear so it's like i'm walking uh to this farmhouse that we find and Anyways, the worst part of the story is that we were on our way to go see Minority Port with my family.

We missed the movie.

Oh my God, it's a a great movie.

We missed the movie.

Have you seen it since?

I did.

I have seen it since.

We missed the movie.

But honestly, if that movie were true to life, they would have known that the accident was going to happen and we could have prevented it.

The pre-cogs could have been a good thing.

They would have arrested the porcupine, I guess.

For giving all those flat tires.

Well,

they arrest the people who commit the crime, the murder.

Was the porcupine okay?

Oh, yeah, because we swerved.

And guys, word to the wise, don't swerve.

I'm so sorry, but kill the animal.

You will drive off a cliff.

Well, that's how, that's how the in Betelgeuse, Alec Baldwin and Gina Davis die.

They

swerve to avoid a dog on a bridge and they go into

let's be real.

If that didn't happen, they wouldn't have met Beetlejuice.

Okay, that's it.

Not one more.

Not one more.

We've said it twice.

That's enough.

Sorry.

That's why I said not one more.

Alec Baldwin.

Not one more, Alec Baldwin.

I'm not the one holding the camera.

Oh my God, we must move on.

So

here's one thing.

Would you rather have Beetlejuice show up or Alec Baldwin?

Yeah, I'd rather have Beetlejuice.

He doesn't say it's Showtime in Beetlejuice 2.

How do you not say it's showtime?

Spoiler.

Yeah, well, it spoiled the movie for me.

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice is a, it's a, that whole movie is ungopachka.

It's just way too much creme days.

Too much going on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I agree.

Okay, here's the one thing I want, I will say about Swiss Chalet because

I knew people like Swiss Chalet.

I looked into it a little bit, but I didn't really know what the experience was going to be.

But the one thing it does make me think of, and I don't know if either of y'all from living in LA know this, is the sports chalet jingle.

Sports Chalet, we take it to the limit.

I do know that.

What?

So when I hear Swiss Chalet, I think of it as Swiss Chalet, we take it to the limit.

Like

I hear that in my head, though, like, every time I hear Swiss Challenge.

No, Swiss LA has a lot of limits.

Yeah.

Yep.

There's, there's weirds.

I love this, by the way.

I agree with you.

I know what you're talking about.

There's a lot of crossovers that Canadians don't get, and then stuff that you guys know that we don't get.

I brought up Jim Blossoms, and all you Canadians didn't know what I was doing.

I don't know what that is.

What the fuck?

You don't know hay jealousy?

I don't get jealous.

It's funny, though, but it's also like

it's the kind of thing like if you look at it, you look up some deep Canadian cut and you're like all right and then like what just in the live show you say like like I don't know kind of reminds me of Fozwiggles and the

Foz Wiggles like losing their minds like what the fuck are you talking about?

That's what it was last night when he was saying Harvey's in Swiss Chalet and everyone was going insane.

Yeah, here's the thing that you got to remember though, right?

Like when you look at movies and television and this or that, the only time Canada gets a shout out is to be made fun of.

So the fact that it's like people are actually talking about Canadian things in different places, it makes us really excited because nobody references us or anything here.

Everybody references America.

So it's like, we are going to cheer.

It's very exciting.

You guys are here from America and you're talking about Canada.

We love it.

Wow.

I will say that I think the thing, the Canadian influence on American pop culture is obviously immense, but a lot of times it's like.

people don't even realize these are Canadians.

Like someone like Leslie Nielsen was such a huge comedy star.

And I think America just kind of claimed him as their own.

Or like, you know, I was talking, I was talking about the band Rush on previous episodes.

Like, I feel like people know that Rush is Canadian, but I think in America, they're just sort of like, oh, yeah, there's a great band, you know.

Tim Carrey.

Tim Carrey, yeah, yeah.

But I want to say something, too, is that not all those famous Canadians promote how being Canadian, how Canadian they are.

Like, I try to make a point to talk about Canada so people know there's a lot of talent up here, a lot of comedians up here as well to work with, and, you know, you should take note of.

So

they're also not saying it, you know, it's like they could, and it would really help us, but they're not.

Yeah, you guys are all right up here.

Um, they're excuse you

to be so lucky to be in such company.

Oh my god, look, without Canadians, we wouldn't have the mask, we wouldn't have fat bastards.

Somebody, stop me, we wouldn't have fat bastard the burrito or the man.

We didn't talk about fat bastard burritos.

We walked by fat bastard burritos on the way to Harvey's.

Yeah, and oh, and you did, of course, because you were going to Harvey's.

Yeah, you couldn't.

And it was, it was funny.

We like, we like that it's a reference to fat bastard from the movie.

We'll do anything for a loft.

Get in my tortilla, that sort of thing, you know.

Come on.

Say that at Fat Bastard Burrito.

Or like,

get in my taco.

Yeah, that's good too.

Yeah, it also works.

Yeah, these both work.

Or

get in my nachos.

We don't always have to do rule of three.

So we got the pierogies with sour cream and Cajun sour cream.

Ooh, Cajun.

Taste of the bayou.

Now,

season one of Twisted Mail shot down in the bayou,

and now season two is up here in Toronto.

And now, what's the big difference-wise between Toronto and

well, up here, the gators are cold.

You got snow gators up here.

Are you hitting on me?

What's happening?

Up in Toronto.

You are looking deep into my eyes.

Yeah,

the reaction is me going, what?

That's the reaction.

I'm like, I feel like I'm on another podcast.

I don't know what's happening.

Toronto, you got snow gators.

You got the snow gators up here.

White is snow, right?

Why?

I say cold gators of the nose.

Gotta be careful going down to moguls.

You might

hop over a gator.

Yeah, I don't know how to do the

accent.

I can't tell if we're tired or if it's bad.

I mean, I know it's bad.

It's bad.

No, it's bad.

That's what it is.

You are usually never lost for words.

I literally didn't know if you were referencing a movie or something.

I really didn't know what was happening.

I was like, oh, is this something like

another thing I don't know?

Is the best way to calm down a northern snowgator?

A nice bowl of putty.

Fuck it.

We don't have to do this anymore.

I'm holding the mic.

I give up.

Okay, throw your phone into your crotch.

Let's call it a day.

Crawfish boutique.

Who cares?

Crawfish boutias get it.

We were excited to do snow.

We were deciding to do Northern Gators, and you're not on board with it.

It's fine.

It was a bad.

It's fine.

It's fine.

We cut a crowbar.

We're going to cut it out.

We'll cut all this stuff out.

I had a problem.

What the fuck was that?

Not a problem in French.

It's not a problem.

With the Progies with Sour Cream and Cajun Sour Cream.

Ooh, kind of like uh, that's all creamed out in the bayou,

you know.

It's like the first season of Sister Metal, I was thinking about this, Mitch.

Took place, you shot it in New Orleans, yeah, and then now you're shooting it up in Canada, up in Toronto.

And I have you noticed a difference, I think I noticed a difference or two.

Now, Atlanta, do you notice a difference or two between

the bayou and up here in the Great White North?

I don't, I've never been to the bayou.

Well, down there, of course, they got the gators, yeah, and I I got it.

And they're scaly, and what color are those gators?

Down there?

Green?

That's right.

And what color are the gators up here in the north?

White.

That's it.

Snow gators.

Snow gators.

Oh, they're white.

Well, I do declare.

Oh, yes, I did it.

I got it.

You didn't do a that wasn't an accent.

That wasn't it.

That was gone with the wind.

Okay.

Well, there you go.

I don't have pierogies pierogis often.

These were, these were, you know, they're kind of like dumplings filled with a cheese and potato.

They had two different sauces.

They had a sour cream, the Zesty sour cream.

They have a loaded pierogis that they're pushing.

You originally ordered them, Mitch, and asked, or was like, hey, can we get them without bacon for me, which is very nice of you.

And then our server, who was great, was like, you know what?

You don't have to get the loaded pierogies.

You just get the pierogies as is and get it with a couple of dipping sauces.

Man, I was thinking of Wags doesn't eat the, he doesn't eat pig.

And we got the pierogi.

And you know what?

I think the way we got it was the way to get it because you get to really appreciate the pierogis themselves.

Oh, my God.

You don't eat all that stuff on top.

And they're great with the two dipping sauces.

Those were delicious.

I love them.

I loved the pierogies.

I love them.

I love the pierogies too.

And you know what?

Perfect way to start the meal.

The two sauces.

I actually kind of enjoyed that Cajun sour cream.

Yeah, I love it.

You know what was funny about that Cajun?

I like the Toronto sour cream because it was white with snow.

We won't get back into the Cajun Gator bit.

The Northern Gator bit.

Whatever.

I can't speak.

We've done three shows and not even 24 hours.

My brain is broken.

You're supposed to just carry this for us.

Just carry the show, would you?

Hey, man, I'm just waiting for you to move on.

You're the one that keeps bringing it back.

I'm ready.

I'm ready.

She's trying to peddle a rickshaw like uphill, and we're both just digging our heels into the ground with this Northern Gator bit.

I told you that I drove off a cliff and you decided to take this podcast off a cliff.

You were like, that that sounds like fun.

You know, what's funny is that we so wanted to do the Northern Gator bit in the live show last year.

Yeah, we did.

And we didn't.

I wonder what the audience would have thought.

They probably would have fucking loved it.

Yeah, I bet you they would have.

I bet you they would have thought Snow Gator was great.

All right, let's get back to Swiss Shelley.

Sticky tables, 100 baby chairs.

What else?

Delicious pierogies.

Delicious pierogies.

Progis were great.

I loved our service.

First of all, we were in there at noon.

Yes.

And there was already like 12 tables.

Oh, yeah it feels very much like a blue hair restaurant did you see that

business table no there was like a business table

yeah there was a business dinner going on and then there was like a string of old people going down this way uh looking for that deal you know yeah so okay so the the basically the thing to get here is a rotisserie chicken dinner and so we got uh we all got versions of the quarter chicken dinner mitch you got a quarter white uh Atlanta you got a quarter dark I got the Thanksgiving feast which is a seasonal thing for Canadian Thanksgiving which takes place in October when we're recording.

And the difference there is with the quarter chicken, you generally get a dinner roll, the signature chalet dipping sauce, which we will talk about, and your choice of size.

It is fries by default,

but you can also get a baked potato, which you opted for, Mitch.

I got a roaded baked potato.

Or you can upgrade to boutine, which you did, Alana.

And my Thanksgiving feast, by

contrast, comes with stuffing and cranberry sauce and a dinner roll and fries.

Yeah.

So it was a bit of a haul.

What is the traditional Canadian Thanksgiving dinner?

Exact same as you guys.

It's the exact same.

The cranberry stuffing.

Turkey.

Turkey, yes.

Yam.

Sometimes you get a couple hams in there.

Okay.

People are going wild.

You'll get some ham in there.

But otherwise, it's the exact same that you guys have.

But the fries that they have there are because it's Swiss chalet and that's what they do, right?

It's not like that's like a traditional.

Because we like the sauce and that's like like the whole thing.

Well, here's here's what I will say: both the poutine

and the fries themselves, not to mention the fries and the dipping sauce, but both the fries and the poutine themselves were just both so great.

They were just such

a wonderful execution of fries.

I preferred the fries themselves to the Harvey's fries.

And honestly,

I might have liked the poutine more than the Harvey's poutine.

I know you kind of, I think you like the Harvey's poutine more, maybe.

Okay, but I,

then my answer is no, based on what you just said about the Harvey's fries.

Okay.

Because the Harvey's fries, in my time, very crispy.

But we commented on how crispy the Swiss chalet fries were.

So if you're saying Harvey's wasn't as good, then Swiss chalet has to be the clear winner because you and I were relating about the crispness of the fry.

The texture is so great.

Yes.

I

liked the Harvey's poutine quite a bit.

And I also did like the Swiss chalet.

Those are really yummy.

Well, let's just, here's the thing, the poutine, and I know you guys already talked about it on your other episode, but the cheese curd.

Like this is, because you guys have disco fries and then the cheese curd is it yeah in the states they call it disco fries and it's like shredded cheese but we don't disco fries aren't like a thing that you see on the menu a lot yeah they're not they're not like national it's more of a this more regional thing but they exist but it's more like it's your only like thing of poutine would be a disco fries like no one's gonna order poutine are they yeah well there's there's the fries with gravy that they'll have in baltimore but i forget what that's called but that's its own thing as well yeah but it was like i i just i knew i wanted the poutine right away i love poutine so much and it's just obviously the make or break is: do you have the real cheese curds?

And are the fries good?

Are they crispy?

Because the gravy and the cheese immediately is going to make them soggy, and you have to be able to pick it up without all the toppings falling off.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Here's what I love: first off, you can get the poutine with the gravy or with the chalet sauce if you so

opt for it.

But the gravy itself is really, really yummy.

And you advised a dipping that chicken and the gravy as well, which worked really well.

Yes.

But

there's, it's tough to even, I was like trying to figure out how to even describe the chalet dippin' sauce because it is so distinct.

It is not exactly savory.

It is so

aggressively like aromatic.

And it's, it's, it's got like a clove, like nutmeg, like salmon sort of thing.

It's to it blew me away.

Yeah.

Because I had heard about the chalet sauce.

Everyone talks about the chalet sauce.

It's a big deal.

I didn't realize that Swiss chalet is like a Thanksgiving type restaurant.

That's like what my like takeaway from.

It's a rotisserie chicken.

Yeah.

But that's that chalet sauce wags is like very nutmeg-y.

Yeah.

It's very seasonal.

It's like you, I think when you described it as like drinking a cider, yeah, 100%.

A mill, what is it, milled cider?

Is it mald, thank you.

Yeah.

The maldider.

People will literally go to Swiss Chalet, get their meal, and then get like three sauces to go just to go have it at home with other food.

Well, it's so distinct.

Yeah.

It's like, I'm like having this sauce, and I'm like, I can't quite place this as a flavor that I've had in other continents.

And it's funny because I don't.

It's sweet with a non-spicy kick.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

But it's not like sweet, sweet.

Like, it's not like, it's not like like a, because they have like a honey garlic sauce that's, that's very, very different.

Yeah.

It's very gravy.

Very gravy-like.

But I like that it's not as thick as gravy.

Yeah.

I like that it's like thinner than gravy.

It doesn't fill you up as fast.

I got the honey garlic, the, what is it called?

Glaze.

Glaze.

You almost got it on in which I said no.

Yeah, you said no.

I said, you have to get it on the side.

And we agreed that was the right decision.

That was the right call.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think the chicken, the rotisserie chicken is straightforward, but it's really well done.

It's like a well-executed

skin's good, well-seasoned.

It's a nice Christmas to it, nice and nice and moist.

At least the dark meat was.

I really enjoyed it.

You know, all the fix-ins that came with the Thanksgiving feast.

These are things I familiar.

It's like replacement level

stuffing or dressing, whatever you call it.

I thought it was fine.

The cranberry sauce thing, I thought it was fine.

The dinner roll, I thought was fine.

But the fries were great and the chicken was great.

And that signature chalet dipping sauce.

I mean, I felt like I was looking at a new color.

Like, what's going on?

Like, what is this?

It's amazing.

Can you believe this?

This is the only

two times I've eaten poutine I've been up here were today.

Wow.

Oh, my God.

That's right.

Of course.

Yeah.

There was one other time I was walking by this place and it said fresh hot poutine.

It was like this sign that was written out.

And I was like, what's in there?

And then I heard the voice from inside the shop.

It was like, come on in, get some fresh poutine.

Oh, my God, man.

I was like, what the hell and i said

who is that back there

you don't look human he said what color is my skin i said white you know oh you're why

okay it's growing okay

and i said okay well you're not green if you know you're the gators i know are from the bayou are green i'll walk right in he says okay perfect i walked in there i said Are you a northern snow gator?

Are you trying to trick me to come in here with poutine?

Are you going to eat me?

He said, no, no, no, no, no.

And I said, yes, yes, yes, yes yes you're a snowgator a northern snowgator i walked right out of there so that was the only time

that was the only time i would have foutine

this is crazy that you're telling the story because i was not going to tell this on the podcast i had a similar experience last night after i got the train stop i was walking i was walking back the hotel room i was like oh man i'm pretty hungry after that show uh there was a guy with a sign it was like uh free poutine inside free poutine yeah and i was like i was like okay fun did you say free no well this is the thing i was like i was like free.

I was like, well, there's got to be some sort of a catch, but I'll see or I'll hear him out.

He's like, come on inside.

And I said, now, hold on a second.

I've heard about these northern snow gators.

Do you happen to be green, sir?

He's like, I'm not green.

I'm white.

And I'm naturally, I'm like, oh, he's white.

So I go in there.

And he's like, that's free poutine if you will suck me off.

And I'm like, well, all right.

Well, a human man.

I'll suck off a human man.

I go down there, suck him off.

It's a gator.

She's got a big gator dick.

No.

Why?

Same thing happened to me.

Just a quick question, though.

What color was the dick?

It was green.

That's how I knew.

That's the tell.

That's how you know it.

That's how you know it's a northern green.

Green, the green genital.

I was sucking the gator off, and I was like, this dick, yeah, it was the same.

You said you walked out of there.

So was this another gator?

Because you said you left.

This was another, this is later.

This is another gator.

This is later.

I got tricked again.

There was another sign that said, fresher Poutine.

More fresh, the best poutine.

And I walked in.

Got it.

Got it.

And he was like, you like poutine?

I was like, look, I just almost got tricked by a northern snow gator.

He said, no, I swear I'm not a northern snow gator.

I said, okay.

I went in there.

He said, it's free, but you had to suck me off.

I said, yeah, of course.

That makes sense.

Yeah, I know how the web works.

Yeah.

I go down and suck them off.

I start

sucking them off.

I'm sucking them off.

Yeah, sure.

I'm sucking them off.

And then as I'm sucking them off, I'm like, wait, that's a green dick.

Why?

Because, as you said,

and he said, that's normal, it's a lot of a lot of he's that's what you did.

He say this to you, too, yeah.

He was like, It's normal, it's like a lot of you know, oh, laha wola, also

got green dick.

Also, um, just for the people out there that want to get a hand job from Mitch, um, I don't know if you can see in the camera, so do make sure you can see mine.

This is how tight he was clenching his hands.

Can you see how tight that is?

Great.

Make sure that's on me for that part.

Clenched fist.

Clenched.

He's trying to hold a coffee straw.

Jesus Christ.

Hey, man, I call it like I see it.

Anyways,

yeah.

And just be careful out there.

That's all.

So we're just saying, be careful out there.

Nope, free poutine isn't actually free.

So can I be honest with you, since I've been here, that's happened to me like at least like 16, 17 times.

Tight handoff.

No, me, me sucking off, ending up, sucking off gators, right?

Okay.

And the only way that you can tell a gator is the green dick.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Otherwise, it's more here than it did in New Orleans.

It happened to me more here than a hundred times more.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's because you saw they were green, so you knew they were a gator right away.

Right, right.

You didn't go near these northern snow gators can hide in plain sight.

I thought the, I thought the quarter chicken, I thought the quarter chicken was really yummy.

I thought that plus the fries, plus the signature chalet dip and sauce.

I just think that was a triumph.

I thought that was great.

Now, a lot of the other stuff that we had, I thought was, besides the pierogies, I thought was just fine.

Like the garlic green beans were.

Amelia just texted me something.

We were trying to figure out what Amelia said.

And I think this is what it is.

Okay, Amelia.

Okay.

She says, was the thing I said at Swiss Chalet?

Are snow gators real?

And you know what?

That is what it is.

That is what it was.

Yes, that is what it was.

We brought up snow gators and you asked if they were real.

Yes.

Oh, my God.

That's what it is.

Amelia.

Yes.

I mean, we knew it.

We were like, no, it wasn't.

It was like something extreme, like Frankenstein.

It's like, that's it.

It's very similar to Frankenstein getting into a car accident.

Are snow gators real?

And the answer is, yes.

They are.

They're all too real.

That's the whole experience.

My experience speaks.

Be careful out there.

Garlic green beans I had was.

Do you think we should just start this episode over?

We don't have enough room on the SD card.

We're just going to blaze through to the end.

Yeah, I'm good.

We're an hour into that.

We're an hour in, Nick.

We're doing pretty good.

We're doing fine.

We're doing good on time.

We're doing great.

The garlic green beans

was a side I got just because I wanted to have something like at all nutritious over the course of eating these these this Harvey's and Swiss chalet back to back I think that they were could have been seasoned a little bit more could add more garlic honestly I thought I don't know if you had any of those green beans they're kind of just going to hurt.

Garlic

white beans, northern white beans, just because the same thing with the gators.

Yes, right.

That would have been consistent with the Gators.

I actually didn't realize they were garlic green beans, so you just said it.

I thought they were just a side of green beans.

They tasted like plain and unseasoned, basically.

Emma and Amelia, you both got soup cups.

One of you got a

chicken soup.

Amelia got the chicken soup and Emma, you got the broccoli and cheddar soup.

How were those soups?

I like my soup.

It was really good.

It was pretty simple.

It wasn't like too complicated, just like broccoli, cheddar, and chicken.

chicken.

The chicken was really good.

Yeah.

So I think that's like their whole thing.

Yeah.

My chicken noodle soup was really good.

I had to add a little bit of salt and pepper.

But other than that, perfect.

Yeah, maybe just some general, but I mean, this also might be that it's like they have, they've been doing the same thing since 1954.

Just the general like things could use another layer of seasoning, I feel like.

I feel like you could have turned the clock back in that place to 1954 and a lot of.

People who were eating there and working there would be still there.

Yeah, sure.

But they've really expanded the menu.

Well, that's the thing.

So we, and we didn't dig into a lot of things.

Oh, by the way, I loved our server.

Our server was awesome.

This was fantastic.

They've got a lot of like handhelds, you know, they've got a lot of salads.

They've got a lot of bowls.

They've got like quesadillas.

And I'm looking at all this shit.

And honestly, it feels like I'm looking at Tim Horton's flatbread all over again.

I'm like, kind of like, I don't know if y'all need to be doing all this because what you're doing well works really well.

As fast as I could, I said, we're not getting bowls.

I couldn't have made that clear.

I was like, guys, we're not here for bowls.

They have no business making any of this.

That.

But you did want to type the pierogies were new, weren't they?

Yes, but pierogies are good, and I know that.

And they can do a good pierogi.

Yeah.

But it's the bull, like trying to make a healthy bull.

I'm like, that's not possible there.

That's not what they should be doing.

Yeah.

So why put it on there?

Mars, you ever go to a Swiss chalet?

Was this ever a thing for you growing up or anything?

Yeah, it was more so placed growing up.

Did you grow up in Ontario?

Yes, I grew up in Richmond Hill and then I moved to Toronto.

Richmond Hill, which is where, wait, is that where?

No, Richmond Hill is where Harvey started.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was definitely a place to go for like the holidays with the family.

You might get into this later, but it was really great for kids.

They used to have like a toy chest there that at the end of the meal, you could open up this toy chest and you'd like get to pick out a toy, which then is away.

But now it feels more, it's better as a takeout place now.

They do takeout really well during the pandemic.

Not so much like a sit-in restaurant anymore.

Yeah, not as many kids.

Kind of a sexier vibe.

Oh, I didn't even think about it.

Remember all those empty baby chairs?

We know kids aren't allowed anymore.

No more babies.

The babies are gone.

The babies are gone.

Well,

they're grown, maybe.

On that note, this was a thing we should have talked about last week, but Mars, you mentioned that with Harvey's, there is a location known as the Hooker Harvey's within Toronto.

Yes, you can't talk about Harvey's and Toronto without mentioning Hooker Harvey's, an iconic location where, I guess, in the early 90s and 80s, many sex workers can be seen outside there.

Longer than that.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

I personally, I don't think I've ever witnessed one outside, but that's just like people in Toronto love to point out Hooker Harvey's when they go buy it.

I absolutely have been to Hooker Harvey's.

And one time I saw a woman, and man, what a bottle this one.

Good honor in a shoelace dress where it was just a series of like string.

Like, not a couple of them, I mean the size of a shoelace.

And that was the string covering her body.

And I was like, go get them.

It's going to be a busy night.

My response to that is,

Mitch just threw up on his dick.

That was the horny.

I was doing the horny noise.

Was that what that was?

I'm kidding.

I didn't throw up on my dick.

The date never started.

Humor in women.

I like Swiss Chalet.

I think it feels old school.

Yes, all the old school elements of it I really like.

They have not given an upgrade indoors.

And the interior is great because it's got a lot of

just kind of Canadian sort of pastiche-like,

you know, like snowshoes and snow gators.

Yeah, for snowgaters.

And

like, you know, landscape, you know, paintings and stuff on the walls.

Like, it feels like very homey inside, but also.

It's kind of fake leather boots.

exactly.

Yeah, you know what I mean?

It's kind of

tacky and kitschy in a fun way.

Like, I like that element of it.

The thing is, is they don't need to change because people will just keep going.

Yes.

Like, we don't care.

We're going for the chicken.

No, I, I, I, I, I mean, I really enjoyed being in there.

I really liked eating that chicken.

I thought, I thought that was delightful.

They also have ribs, and you were like, you're not really a ribs person as much.

Mitch, you're not really a ribs guy.

I'm not even poor.

I like ribs, but I don't like to get like rest train chain restaurant ribs.

My problem was: if you looked at the picture of the ribs, the sauce looked so thick and like sticky and I was like, this can't be right.

Like it didn't look how regular ribs would look.

Yeah.

The picture was so

off-putting to me.

Well, and that also like isn't the reason you're there necessarily.

No, no, no.

Not at all.

You would not, if you want ribs, you would not go to Swiss chelete.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Most certainly not.

Yeah.

I was happy with

the quarter white chicken meal that I got.

I mean, I could have had a half chicken, but I mean, the quarter dark was absolutely getting the job done.

But we had to eat another meal.

We did have to eat another meal.

We should talk a little bit about our beverages, which we didn't touch.

And I got a lemon iced tea.

Do they just not have unsweetened iced tea as much up here?

No, it's not really a thing.

That's yeah, because I was like, I got an iced tea, and she's like, okay, I got, and like, brought out this, this, the teacher.

She brought out iced tea himself.

Yeah.

We got him.

Swishele got him.

The coolest.

So nice.

She brought out a lemon, like, and it was like super, it was like sweetened and it had like aggressively lemony.

Still yummy, but like, I feel like I like the refreshing character of an unsweetened iced tea.

Uh, all that said, I liked it.

You got a Shirley Temple, Mitch.

Well, it was a three-drink morning for me.

Yeah, that's right.

Well, I guess it was afternoon, technically, but uh, it was noon, exactly.

I got, I ordered a Diet Pepsi, and then I, in the corner of my eye, I see Shirley Temple.

Me, thank you.

I saw that on the menu, okay.

You want you want to be compared?

Was Shirley Temple a child?

Great hair.

Oh, she did have great hair.

She had great hair.

Did you know she later worked in the Nixon administration?

Isn't that crazy?

Really?

How long life is?

Yeah.

News to me.

What was that?

What was that movie?

That's what I'm saying.

Shirley Temple working for Nixon.

Yeah, that's a

movie.

Absolutely.

That's a movie.

No, she was like, you know, it's like, she was like, this is a child actor.

And then, like, you know, you, the way, like a lot of people would use their platform to turn political later.

And so that, that was, yeah, of her generation.

She was like, I think a Nixonian.

That's what Justin Trudeau did with his abs.

He's got my vote.

Is he a hunk, Trudeau?

Yeah, dude.

Name a politician better looking than him.

Are you crazy?

Maybe Gavin Newsom.

One of the transport drivers were telling me that his mom was like a wild, wild child.

She like hung with the stones and stuff.

Whoa.

Yeah.

was like a studio 54 person.

Yeah, and his dad was the best.

It's a cool family.

Wait, Trudeau's mom.

I thought you meant like

the guy's own mom.

I was like, that's kind of weird to be telling those stories about your mom.

What the hell?

I was just like, this is

talking about the transport driver's mom.

I thought he was talking about his own mom.

And I was like, that's kind of weird.

My mom just got wild.

She hung out Studio 54.

Yeah, that's what I was saying.

Like, all right.

Why would he ever tell me that?

I don't know.

She, no, she like, she, she, uh, the Trudeau's mom was like, uh,

I think she dated Mick Jagger and like, uh, was at Studio 54 and stuff.

Necking, you're not.

I'm dying over here.

This damn cough.

Um, it's not going away.

It's funny, Mitch, because I was like walking over here and I saw a guy, and he had a sign for a miracle cough cure.

Yeah.

And I sound perfect.

I was like, hey, actually, my friend's got a cough.

And he's like, oh, come on out on the heat.

I'll cure your cough.

I just got like the thing with that sole throat.

So you might want to visit him afterwards.

Oh, yeah.

All right, cool.

Yeah.

I'll go down there.

I'll check it out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

His chair is just snow, which is cold water, which you refused to drink at the live show when you were drinking water right now.

Yeah, but you were joking for 30 minutes and wouldn't even have a sip.

Montelier.

I'm drinking Montelier water here.

This, I will say, this Montelier is pretty good.

It's awesome.

It's good.

It's a good sparkling water.

Nice bit of effervescence.

Okay, wait, I have a complaint.

I told you guys already at the restaurant.

Yeah.

Because when you ordered the Thanksgiving meal, what did it come with?

As the pumpkin pie.

Exactly.

Right.

So my complaint and the canadians will know this is when you get the festive meal uh around the holidays uh christmas and everything um it used to come with a pie and now it's two lindor chocolates wow that you can go buy yourself at shopper's dragon what a down two lindor chocolates so it's a trash

so they have a it's a pie for thanks for canadian thanksgiving but for canadian christmas which is just christmas yeah you get lindor chocolate

chocolate

half-ass yeah you're going there you get the lindor you put in your kids stocking santa Santa Cay.

Here we go.

Charge a couple more bucks.

Get us a piece of pie.

Give us that.

Give us a piece of pie.

By the way, we do have that pie still.

Yes.

And so we can taste that as we go through the channel.

We weren't thrilled with your choice of pie.

There was no choice.

It came with it.

No, no, pumpkin.

Remember, yeah.

Oh, you weren't thrilled.

I'm sorry.

I thought you said we weren't thrilled, like me and you.

No, we're a unit now.

Wait, what's going on?

What happened?

You got pumpkin pie.

There were other options that we liked.

Mitch and I thought you should have picked coconut cream.

It was really cool.

Coconut cream.

But it was a Thanksgiving meal.

I feel like

there were options.

There were options, but I'm saying, like, for the fucking Canadian Thanksgiving meal.

Yeah, I think you have to get the pumpkin pie as well if you're going to get the traditional meal.

Yeah.

I agree with Nick.

All right, we argued about the pie for another five minutes, and then we stopped down and I got a water.

Yeah, and so we're having,

we're going to just eat the fucking pie.

I still maintain that this was the correct choice.

It's what you're arguing is basically like saying, like, oh,

I don't want to have,

I don't like turkey.

I'd rather have a pizza.

It's like, well, it's fucking Thanksgiving.

Have fucking the fucking turkey.

That's the whole spirit of

any type of pie on Thanksgiving.

I don't even fucking know.

I don't know.

I'm not even stopped.

It's pumpkin.

I'm with Weiger on this.

I love coconut cream pie.

That's my favorite pie.

I like it more than pumpkin pie, but for this particular occasion, I think this is the correct choice.

Oh my God.

Can I be real with you?

My favorite pie.

I love it.

Can I be real with you?

Yeah.

You haven't even been here 24 hours.

I'm sick of your shit already.

Same with you.

Same goes for you.

Oh, you're sick of me?

Yeah.

You come on a podcast and bash my city and you're sick of me.

I love Toronto.

You told me, you told me that you hated it and that's why you moved.

I said I hated not having money and that's why I moved.

No money to afford Atlanta Johnson to stay.

You're changing your tune now.

You left for a reason.

You abandoned this.

I left to go to you.

I ran to you, Mitch.

I ran to you.

You cost me 10 grand in green cards because you wouldn't marry me.

There you go.

Is that how much it costs?

Yeah.

God, our immigration system is insane.

It's a lot of money.

All right, I'm going to take a taste of this sum, bitch.

I got to say better than I thought.

Good piece of pie.

Yeah, better than I thought.

It's really nutmeggy again, right?

Yeah.

That's a solid piece of pumpkin pie.

Yeah, I'm in agreement.

What's your, so coconut cream is your favorite pie?

Mitch, what's your favorite pie?

You know, we were talking about this earlier.

Yeah.

I share my favorite pie with Emma's brother.

Chocolate cream pie.

Oh, it's a great pie.

Okay, one of the best.

Yeah, good pie.

Actually, I think banana cream pie might be my favorite.

Yeah, the cream pies are good.

Yeah.

meal, you got a favorite pie?

I think blueberry or some type of berry pie.

Blueberry pie, classic pie.

Yeah.

See, I won't do a fruit pie.

No fruit pies?

I feel like you're missing out.

No, I've had all of them and I hate all of them.

I don't want

every

apple.

I don't want warm cherry.

I don't want warm rhubarb.

I don't want any of it.

I just want the

cream pies.

It's funny our video editor Mike shares your opinion.

No cooked fruit.

I won't do it.

No cooked fruit.

Yeah.

Call me the Sean Distin of pies.

I won't do it.

I don't fuck with that subscribe.

He doesn't fuck with subs.

Yeah, exactly.

I don't fuck with fruit pies.

We drove by a Bertucci's on the way here.

Is that Bertucci's, the chain restaurant up here, the pizza place?

Or no?

I asked too much.

You know what I used to do?

I used to like that.

I don't know if I get to have it anymore because I've developed a

bit of a reaction to nuts, but a pecan pie.

I don't really like pecan pie.

See, that's the holiday pie I want.

I used to love pumpkin pie growing up.

And then as I got older, it was all pecan pie for me now.

Like, that's all I want to have.

It's so sweet.

Oh, my God.

Marius, where do you stand on pies?

I was going to say, pecan pie as well.

And Swish LA does a good pecan pie.

They do.

Yes, they do.

They do.

Okay.

Yeah.

We should have got that.

Anyways, go on.

I don't think we got your Shirley Temple thoughts.

And then also we got a Classic Caesar.

And then we should

have three drinks for the whole meal.

It was great.

Classic Caesar, fantastic.

Emma and Amelia tried it.

They liked it.

I tried it too.

I fixed it.

Amelia did.

You tried it.

Amelia was afraid of my cough.

Oh, yeah.

It's funny because the classic Caesar is, of course, you know, the Canadian drink, which is a vodka, a clemato, as long as it was spicy.

It's better than a Bloody Mary.

It'd be better than Bloody Mary, yeah.

But then, like, the modern Caesar is Caesar Catalina of Megalopolis, as embodied by Adam Driver.

Oh, you mean your Bane impression?

Okay, just so everyone knows, when we were at Tech at the live show, when we were at Tech, they were running the song and the monologue.

And he was like, Did that sound like Adam Driver?

And I went, Is that what you were doing?

I thought that was Bane.

I was so certain that was Bane.

And he was like, Really?

It's so funny.

It was a great, you did a great job.

Thank you.

You did such a good, they loved it.

Oh, my God.

And, you know, look, I maintain Wow Platinum is Aubrey Plaza's character.

in megalopolis.

We say wow on Doughboys and we have the Platinum Play Club.

I believe that Francis Ford Coppola listens to Doughboys and included that as an Easter egg.

Yeah.

And that all makes sense because we are a Coppola goofballs.

Yeah.

That's an Atlanta Johnson guarantee.

Dear God.

We should get to our fork scores.

Yes.

So Swiss Chalet, Atlanta, a beloved chain of your childhood and

of modern times, a chain that's been with you for a while.

You have a lot of thoughts.

Your final thoughts and your fork score.

Well, okay.

Wait, it's not Buster Keaton, is it?

Who did Modern Times?

It's Charlie Chaplin.

Mitch, I'm in the middle of something.

Sorry.

I can't believe that works.

Okay, please, Charlie Chaplin.

Was Charlie Chaplin in Modern Times?

Yeah, I believe so.

Modern Times.

Poor little lamb.

Okay, thoughts on Swiss LA.

Love the dining experience.

I know you were saying the to-go, but love the dine-in experience.

Can't get enough of it.

You know, I really enjoyed time with my friends.

I'm going to go Harvey's on this.

I'm doing four

forks and two prings.

Is that how you say it?

Two prings?

Four forks and two prings.

I swear to God, I heard prings and I went, is that what we're calling it?

You're one of the people who have been on the episode.

You've been on some of the most episodes of the show.

I only give my knife scores.

Now I'm trying to adhere to the podcast.

And look what you're doing.

You're dragging me.

Is this what it feels like to be you?

I think prings are canon now.

I think you can give prings.

I think this gets four forks and two prings.

Four forks and two prings.

Now you guys are going to be calling me Elena the Pring, Johnson.

Oh, the Reddit's going to have a field day with this one.

And by the way, the Reddit, two things.

One, whoever called me chonky jokes on you.

We've all decided that means sexy.

Okay.

And the second thing I have to say is a public apology.

During the live show, you had brought up pizza pizza, and I brought up a lunch buffet that was at Pizza Hut.

The rest of the quality of the pizza is still about pizza pizza.

Yeah.

Okay.

There, Reddit.

Fucking go off.

You said that you mentioned the buffet, which pizza pizza does not have.

Yes, but then that, but then the quality of the pizza, I was talking about.

Well, listen, I think Pizza Hut and Pizza Pizza have the same quality, but that's another episode.

I don't see.

I don't know.

I maybe like Pizza Pizza more now.

Four and a half forks, four forks, two prings.

Mitch, what do you think?

I like Swiss chalet.

I don't really even get it's a Swiss style of chicken.

Yeah, preparation.

Montreal has a lot of like rotisseries, right?

Well, okay, so this is the thing.

This is the founder's father.

I forget what this first name Moran is the last name, Robert Moran, maybe, but Moran, his father was Swiss and they'd worked in

one of these restaurants in Montreal.

So that's where the concept was imported into Toronto.

Montreal is a great city.

I do love Montreal.

I've never been a bit.

Oh man, you're very good.

Have you ever been?

No.

It's only my fourth time in Canada.

Oh, very nice.

So much better better than Toronto.

Okay.

Wow.

Sure.

I mean, am I wrong?

Yeah.

You're wrong.

It's pretty good.

Montreal and Toronto are both great.

They both have their plus sides.

Where in Montreal?

Like old Montreal for me?

Okay, I'll give you that.

Quebec.

No, there's different areas

in Montreal.

Okay.

Old Montreal, where it's like Cobblestonian, whatever, I will give you that over Toronto.

I won't give you the rest.

They both have their plus sides.

I love Toronto.

I do like Toronto quite a bit.

I like Toronto.

I do like it.

Say that T one more time.

I like Toronto.

And I like Montreal.

I like Canada.

Yeah.

Canada likes you guys.

I like Swiss Chalet.

I didn't know if I was going to like it.

When I walked in, I was like, we're in for a dump of a meal.

This place is a fucking dump.

Yeah, you mean like the first time I i did your podcast at your apartment

literally it was i mean you were there dude you were there my tables were way more sticky than the tables that switched out in my defense

uh it seemed like it is it's an old it's like

it does feel a little bit like it's maybe dying in some way is it no

it's still riding high huh well yeah but more takeout like it's not the dine-in experience is fading yes But the food itself, I think, is still well liked, right?

The insides need an upgrade.

They need to get rid of a few baby chairs, but that's just it.

They like their tradition.

Like, that, I think, why, like, we kind of touched on that.

I'm like, I think that's like kind of the appeal.

I loved our, I loved our

server.

She was great.

The Caesar was great.

I love that they just, there just was a,

uh, what's it called?

The little child there.

Shirley Temple on that.

I love, I love the little child that we hung out with.

The little child,

the little child drink, the Shirley Temple.

I love that it was on the menu.

You don't see that that often.

And I thought that when it comes down to it, Wise, this is the difference for me.

Yeah.

Harvey's last week, Swiss Chalet this week.

The star of the show is the chicken, and the chicken delivers.

The star of the show over there at Harvey's is the burger.

It's not as good.

The chicken at Swiss Chalet puts it into the four fork.

I'm going to go four four forks, one pring.

Wow.

Thank you for that.

Four and a quarter forks for me.

You know, you have to play.

A good score.

Cole score.

Very good score.

To hop on your comparison, I would also say the chicken at Swiss Chalet beats out the veggie burger at Harvey's.

And I was the one promoting the veggie burger, but if we're comparing the main thing.

And that's your favorite thing at Harvey's.

Yes, that is my favorite thing at the Harvey's.

I wasn't as high on Harvey's,

even though I enjoyed Harvey's.

Based on my dining experience there, I love my time at Swiss Chalet.

I'm walking in and I do like, you know,

yes, I don't feel like it's a dump.

I feel like I'm being like transported to a different land.

Also, didn't you say you almost walked into the wrong place?

Wasn't there this, there was like a sign that said Swiss Chalet on it?

Yeah, there was a guy holding a sign that said Swiss Chalet.

And I was like, oh, this must be where the restaurant is.

And I go down there and it's just a darkened, you know, it's like kind of dark in there.

But I was like, I don't know.

I've never been here before.

And he's like, oh, right this wave.

Well, Swiss Chalet.

Any long story short, I'm like, oh, he's white.

So I feel like it's good.

And so you sucked him off?

Yeah, I'm sucking off Green Dick.

What are we doing here?

Wow.

Very different experience than what I had when

I walked in alone and was like, table for five, please.

And then sat alone.

And she was like, do you want something to drink?

You waited about 20 minutes and then you did say it to her.

See, I told you I had friends.

I did have to say that to her.

Continue.

Anyway,

you eventually made it to the real I made it to the real Swiss chalet, and I was like, this is great.

I love the vibes in here.

I love the energy in here.

I love that clearly the clients in here, the people who are dining in, are like loyal to this place.

Like, this is clearly like a place that's drawing and repeat business.

Um, and it's also like

I think what it's doing well is to your point, Mitch, is like the chicken and the fries.

It's just like these are just such great executions, and what a classic combo.

And

it's just so distinct.

It's so specific, the Chalet Dippin' Sauce.

Like that dippin' sauce is like, is like, you know,

nothing else I've ever, ever really had on the podcast.

It's like, it's really its own thing.

It's like in its own category.

And I really enjoyed it.

And

from that standpoint, I think this is a place that belongs in the Golden Play Club.

I'm going to go Four Forks, Two Prings, handholding club with our guests.

We're all ballpark buds here.

Welcome to the Golden Play Club.

Four Forks, two Prings for me, too.

Four Forks, two Prings all along.

Guys, this is making me so happy because I was so adamant about the experience going the exact way I wanted it to go.

Well, you can't control everything, but today you did.

I did.

I was like, we're ordering this.

I was like, have the gravy with the fry and have it with the chicken.

I really was being bossy, but like, it worked.

It worked out great.

I loved one meal, and I would go back to this place.

One of the best basements I've ever eaten in.

Wow, congratulations to Swiss Chalet.

Welcome to the Golden Plate Club.

The first member here in Toronto Doe, Doe Canada, the Great Bite North, the month long culinary tour of the sixth.

The one golden plate club member so far.

How about that?

How exciting is that?

Well,

doesn't sound like Boston Pete's is going to make it in there.

We'll see.

We'll see.

No, not bad that you got one out of three.

Not bad.

Could have not.

And listen, Tim Hortons was a beast.

We knew that was going to be trouble.

Yeah, sure.

The fans told you that was going to be trouble.

AW would also, I mean, it is.

ANW is in the Platinum Plate Club.

Yeah.

We like AW a lot.

I wouldn't know.

Or Francis Ford Coppola listened that AW episode.

Platinum Plate Club.

Okay.

Wow.

Huh.

This Canadian episode has really inspired me.

All right.

Well, we got a beverage.

We got a segue.

We got a beverage and decide if we should pour it down your throat.

It's another edition of Drank or Steak.

Alana, you brought these in.

Yes.

The clearly Canadian raspberry.

Or rather, I should say, you were like, we need to try these and Amelia tracked them down.

Yeah, the dough.

Well, first of all, I tracked them down.

It was me who went in.

wait.

You did find them.

I did.

Oh, then never mind.

Basically,

I requested it.

Okay, I'm doing it here so you can see it clearly.

Clearly Canadian country raspberry is what we're tasting.

So I had suggested it saying, I would really like for you guys to try it.

Okay.

And you can buy them online and get a case of them online and stuff like that.

My dough girls here, Amelia went out and couldn't find it.

You guys went to the shoppers.

And I was like, that's so strange that you didn't find it there because when Sean came to record and we were talking about Clearly Canadian, he's like, yeah, I got mine at the shoppers.

So I I went on a mission.

You meant the exact same shoppers we went to.

Yeah.

And he says, oh, that's weird.

They must have been out.

And I was like, or you bought them all.

So

distinct?

Yeah, I'm accusing him of buying all the Clearly Canadians to derail the podcast.

Well, sorry, nobody derails a knife.

Okay, so I'm not sure.

He actually does mess with Clearly Canadian.

He fucks with it.

He fucks with it.

We all fucks with it.

So I said, I have all this time in between when we were eating at Swiss Chalet and then coming coming back for the record i was like i'll find it don't worry and you guys were like no it's okay i'll look i'll look and i'll check here and i went i'll find it i walked out of here but five minutes later sent a photo to everyone of the clearly canadians very clearly sitting on a shelf in the metro and i texted you and i was like you're gonna walk out you're gonna make a left and then i took a picture of the store just so you could find it that's how badly i needed you guys to have this wow yeah well it worked we got them yeah we got them here we are guess what i've had it before i've had clearly canadian we used to get it back in the day wages i've had clearly canadian but i have not had this varietal.

I don't, I've not had this flavor.

Cheers.

Bottoms up.

I like the bottles.

They're a lot of fun.

Oh, bottles are great.

Oh, that's so yummy.

It's so.

Here's the thing.

It's like drinking a mamba.

It has

90 calories.

I get what you're saying.

It tastes like drinking a mamba.

Okay, it does drink.

It tastes like drinking a mamba.

It has 90 calories.

So it's not like one of these sugars, like the everyone now is on these sugar-free, you know, these zero-calorie, you know, aromatic,

you know, like sparkling drinks.

This one hit this order or five calories.

This one has, you know, a substantial number of calories and a certain and a good amount of sugar, but it's not terrible and it's really, really flavorful.

Well, here's the thing you got to think about too.

People will be pounding those zero cal soda waters.

You only need the one.

It's like, and you can sip on it.

It is sweeter.

So it's like you don't, because you are getting that actual flavor that you want.

It's like, you want the berry flavor.

You're getting it.

You can taste it.

You don't need to be chugging it as much.

It's really delicious.

That's really yummy.

Yeah.

I mean, this is the thing, though, I probably could finish this pretty quickly because it's just so tasty.

I gotta say, great name on top of it.

Clearly, clearly.

Clearly, Canadian.

Here you go.

Someone's like, I love these.

Clearly.

Here you go for the joke.

It's also clear.

Huh.

So it's not hot.

I did it.

Thank God.

You finally are on board with it.

You weren't on board with it for so long.

I was embarrassed.

I wanted to start the episode over.

And I was sad for you when I heard about the porcupine that almost killed you.

The porcupine almost killed you.

That's sad to me.

Well, now that I think about it, I don't know if he was a porcupine because he was green.

Don't you start this now?

You can't come in now.

Oh, man, he's so mad at me.

You can't come in.

What is this me giving you laryngitis?

Cheers to me.

You would never know you had laryngitis because you were talking the same amount you always.

Unlike me at the beginning of the episode.

Quiet as a mouse.

Or when we were talking about fucking white snowgaters, you didn't say shit.

Because I was waiting to see if it went anywhere.

And the answer is no.

So I had to bring it back the right way.

I can't believe 20 some odd years ago, we almost lost because of a porcupine, we almost lost Brock.

Wise, what would the world be without Brock?

Yeah, it's crazy to think about.

This sliding doors moment.

Where would everyone get their drugs?

We'd be sober and bored.

This is a big time drink for me.

I mean, I really, really like this.

I'm not sure, y'all.

I might be skittish about Sharon Beverage.

Or you have one to sip on over there.

We just opened the Blackberry.

oh, you got the blackberry, and it's pretty delicious.

So, if Alan is saying this one's way better, I think this is great.

Are you willing to have a sip?

Yeah, I'll sip.

I want to try blackberry, I'll pour it down, I'll pour it from above.

Okay,

here we go.

I mean, I don't think anyone's gonna want it back.

Yeah, I think I'm gonna waterfall it.

Okay, I'm waterfalling.

All right, let's let's let's check it out.

Wow, we did it.

Oh my god, gargled sparkling water.

It's good, good.

That's right.

I'm thinking that blackberry one's like a little bit sweeter.

Sweeter than the raspberry.

Like, or it's just a different.

I don't know.

I like the raspberry more.

I like the raspberry more, too.

It's just like punchier.

I'm going to see if I can mitch it.

That's what I call it.

That's a no from me, Weiger.

Do you want me to try it?

I feel like I'm not going to be able to do it.

I think you.

Well, you're the last one.

You can just have it.

No, he's going to try it.

He's going to mitch it.

It was going going to be bad.

There he goes.

He's trying.

What is wrong with you, too?

I feel like Gargo's showing

you hurt.

Does that not hurt your throat?

Yeah, no.

Looks like you just walked out of a back alley with a snowgator.

Oh, my God.

I thought you guys were giving them hand jobs, not a full deep throat.

Holy crap.

Thank you, Bars.

Okay, now you've, but now I want to hear your comparison because for me, it is too sweet.

I don't like it as much.

I like it as much as it's better.

It's a raspberry cheer, right?

Yeah.

Raspberry is curved better.

That's why I said when you were like, what flavors are you?

I was like, you have to get the raspberry one.

Yeah, there should be, or was back in, I believe, back in the day.

I love strawberry flavors.

I think they had like so many flavors, but I don't know if they're still doing, like, I don't know what ones they're doing.

I only know the raspberry is the best one.

Mars, you like the clearly Canadian.

I've honestly never had them before.

You've never had them?

Yeah.

Did you taste this one?

Sure.

I take it.

Take a sip of the sunbitch.

There's also a blackberry one you can gargle if you want.

What do you think of that bad boy?

It's really nice.

Yeah, it's fine.

There we go.

I like it.

Perfect.

Okay, what's your flavor of these?

What do you think of Montreal?

Do you like Montreal?

Uh, yeah.

Um,

you guys are territorial.

You don't like Vancouver, you don't like Montreal.

We hate Vancouver.

If you don't know French or you can't speak it perfectly, sometimes they give you like a hard time there.

Yeah, I won't get too much into the poll.

We talked about the French thing.

We talked about the French thing.

Yeah, but tread lightly because the referendum is alive and well.

They will separate the second we say one bad thing about them.

Mars, have you ever seen any northern snow white gators up here in Toronto?

I have not.

I'm not trying to say.

Oh, then I guess you don't give hand jobs.

Do you have a fork score for

the Swiss chalet?

Yeah.

Oh, I have to give it four forks.

Four forks.

Wow.

Yeah.

All right.

Awesome.

I love it.

Hey, are you and I the only ones who run to these northern snow gators?

Yeah, it's weird.

It's weird.

So strange.

And you guys are so good at gargling and everything.

Wait, quick question.

What color is your dick?

Mine's green.

Yeah, mine's green, of course.

Yeah, shit.

Wait a minute.

Wait a second.

Hold on.

We're sucking each other off.

Oh,

we all knew that.

Yeah, we didn't need the snow gators to reveal that info.

Big time drank for

the clearly Canadian.

Elena, what a way to hunt it down.

Thank you.

Today was my bossy day.

I took over, and I'm really glad I did.

I'm really, really glad I took over.

I wanted you to have this exact experience and to end it off on the Clearly Canadian after the Swiss LA did so well in the ratings.

Yeah.

I'm a very happy person.

I gotta tell you, what a hoot.

You're the queen of Toronto.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

In true Canadian form.

I'm so sorry.

There is.

Well, actually, the queen, I guess, is the the queen.

I thought she was dead.

Well, there's a new one, isn't there?

Isn't there?

No, she's not a queen.

Oh, she's not.

She doesn't have the title of queen.

She's a nobody.

There's so weird about the titles with royalty, where it's like, it's like, you know, that guy one fucking guy was the prince consort or whatever the fuck, because he wasn't that king.

He's King Charles now, but he doesn't.

Like, oh, wait, is Kamala?

I don't think Kamala is a queen.

I don't think she's like a lot of people.

I think she's running for president.

Isn't it Camilla?

Yeah.

Camilla?

I think she's running for president.

Kamala is running for president.

Is it Camilla?

I thought it was Camilla.

It's Camilla.

It's Camilla.

Oh, that's okay.

That's how you say her name.

Whatever.

I don't fucking follow the royal family.

Yeah, man.

Fuck the royal family.

I'm the Duke of Orangeville.

Who the hell is Orangeville?

What?

That's the honest thing.

That's where she's from.

We talked about this.

She's all been brought up.

Unreal.

Do you hate us?

What is happening?

We've done three episodes in less than 24 hours.

Oh, look, that's right.

And I was in two of them, and look how well I'm doing.

Just like a restaurant value feedback, let's talk about the feedback.

Hi, my name is Jeff, and I would like to know, as we all know, Canada is America's hat.

If you could reshovel geography to have a different neighbor to the north, either for culinary or fashion reasons, interesting, those are the two criteria.

What country would you pick?

Thanks for your service.

Thanks, Jeff.

Okay, so we're shuffling the globe around.

Canada's going somewhere else.

And another country is going in its place.

This is fun.

We're

globe around.

We're shuffling the globe around.

We're back.

It's Pangea, but we're mixing things up when it breaks apart.

I would say, you know, it's fun to put up north because it would just be so different as Australia.

So it's like down Nunda, and then now it's up, up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That would be really interesting.

That's pretty fun.

It's also like kind of like, like, because Canada is kind of in the same sort of way, Canada is kind of a bizarro U.S., it's the same sort of thing with us with Australia.

You know, it's like, it's like they're, there are elements of commonality.

There's obviously a shared language, but different accent and a bunch of different cultural specifics.

So that's kind of fun.

I like that.

I think I put in Australia there.

And then Canada gets to be a little fun little island.

You get some different weather.

How about that?

All I've ever wanted.

You guys are fine off down there on your own.

Oh, wait.

Would it be different?

The weather would be different, you're saying.

I think they have to swap places and swap climates, right?

Otherwise, it doesn't really make any sense.

Canada has winter.

It's just the opposite of our winter.

So when we're in summer, they're in winter.

But hold on.

Aren't we basing this on food and fashion?

what's your australian fashion preference tile hat or food man it would be i like what i like those those open-toed shoes those are fun now i glops i give it they call them thongs i give italy a hard time but having italy's food right north of the border would be pretty nice wages but the thing i would say is like there's already so much good italian american food i imagine good italian canadian food too because there's so many expats that i i kind of feel like it's you know

there's there's such a strong italian uh population here i I don't know if you need it.

I have a new answer, but I don't know what you guys are going to say.

Okay.

Do I want to hear my new answer?

Of course.

Double up to United States.

Spoken like a true American.

Oh my God.

You get two.

Unbelievable.

Two Spoonman, two Trumps.

Do you think we'd just nuke each other off the planet?

We probably would turn on each other and kill the United States, would kill the United States,

which is kind of funny and fitting in a way.

But double up the United States, baby.

I think what you do, I think you take North America and you just spin it 180 degrees.

Mexico is up north.

United States in the middle, but upside down.

And then Canada is in the south.

Why?

Oh, that's fun.

Because then everyone's got different climates and everyone's got to mess, like, figure out different things.

Now, all of a sudden, like, Boston's on the east coast

or on the west coast.

How about that?

Hold on a second.

You said why, when meanwhile, your only reasoning for Australia was so you could say a funny way instead of saying down under, up over.

He's throwing chaos.

Massachusetts is where California is.

We're moving Canada.

It's chaos.

We're already in the chaos, Mitch.

We might as well double down.

Northern California is now Southern California and vice versa.

How wild is that?

I love it.

But it's on the other side.

It's on the other side.

It's by a different ocean.

You got the Atlantic Ocean to deal with now.

Boston would basically be where LA is.

Yeah.

Oh, I don't like this.

Uh-oh.

This is making me sick.

Atlanta, what do you have an answer for what we would?

I mean.

I'm actually going to hop on with Weiger.

I was going to say Dubai.

I'm hopping on with you.

Dubai.

Dubai.

I guess Dubai would be not bad to have up above us.

Why not?

The United States, I mean, yeah.

No,

I like the Switch.

Yeah.

I like it.

Why not?

You're dying.

Atlanta's got to go.

We got to wrap up the episode.

If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you email us at feedback at birdvoc.com or leave us a voicemail at 830Goto.

That's 830-463-6844.

And to get the Doughboys double our weekly bonus episode, plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog, subscribe at patreon.com.

Atlanta's got a showboat.

Our show tonight.

Our producer is Emma Erdbank.

We're going to go check that show out.

Our associate producers, Amelia Marino.

Special thanks to super producer Mars Melnick for sitting in and helping us out up here in the north.

And our engineers, Casey Donahue, and our video editors, Mike Dorfman.

alana johnston thanks so much for being here guys thanks for having me i can't wait to do all the other chains with you so nice of you to make me your only guest and to cut sean's episode i do appreciate it we were we were there there there was a talk of you being the only guest at one point very early on this is the truth who nixed that

no one nixed it No one nixed it.

We just realized there was a lot of people.

There were people up here who were like wanting to do the show as well.

Are they named after a utensil?

No, sorry.

Pring.

Atlanta, the pring.

Johnson.

Oh, my God.

I got to get out of here.

Pring, do you have anything you want to promote?

Check out my Instagram.

All my shows are posted on there at theonlyAlana Johnson.

I know you guys will tag me as well.

But yeah, all my live shows and stuff are posted on there.

And I'm, yeah, some other fun stuff is happening.

It's not out yet, but some other fun stuff.

So keep an eye out.

Wow, there you go.

Okay, fine.

I'm in a horror movie.

how excited

yes i'll tell you all about it when we're done did you get murdered

you can't tell what the hell what are you doing

i murder everyone i murder me

no that's not how it happens but i will give you one spoiler yeah i start the first scream like of the screams it's me wow very proud very

can you can we hear the scream no we will break the mics

It's so loud.

Yeah,

let's not test it.

Yeah, don't test it.

This is not our studio.

Don't test it.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

That's fair.

It's amazing that you're in a horror movie.

How cool is that?

Yes, a director and writer on Devin Lawrence.

Wow.

Yeah.

Ingrid Hawes' husband.

Yeah.

Wow.

That's

awesome.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And

hey, who's scarier than you?

Oh, my God.

I did it to myself.

I really did.

Hey, that'll do it for this episode of Toronto Doe here at the Dough Boys Podcast.

Until next time, for the Spood Bad McMitchell Lab, Nick Weiger.

Happy eating, eh?

See ya.

That was Gator.

Wigs, guess what?

What, Mitch?

I have something to plug for myself.

Wow.

October 17th on Ameletto, I'm in a short film called Big Brothers, directed by Matt Mazzani.

Wow, Matt Mazzani past Doughboy's guest and our good friend.

That's right.

And he saw a goblin once, I believe.

That's true.

A great cast, great crew.

It's called Big Brothers.

It's going to be on Ameleto, October 17th.

Check it out.

Check it out.

You know, the Spoon Man's going to be great in this sum, bitch.

October 17th.

That's today.

Check it out.

Get your computers.

Check out this link below and watch the short.

See the Spoon Man and Big Brothers directed by Matt Mazzani on Ameletto right now.

Wow.

And great cast, great crew.

Check it out.

Sources for the intro are in the episode description.

That was a hit Headgum podcast.

What's up, everybody?

I'm Kyle Mooney.

And what's up, everybody?

I'm back Ben.

And man, ooh, we got something to tell you.

Oh, yeah, we definitely do.

Yes, it's a brand new podcast on Headgum.

That's right, and it's called What's Our Podcast?

Yep, and that's because we don't have a single idea what our podcast should be about.

Yeah, we don't.

So we actually have guests come on and they tell us what they think our podcast should be about, and then we try it.

Yep, guests like Mark Marin, Jack Black, Brittany Broski, Kate Berlan, Bobby Moynihan, Make Stalter, and Tim Ball, Landon Axler, Joey, Joni McGrease,

and Dender.

And Dender.

New episodes release every Wednesday.

So subscribe to What's Our Podcast on YouTube or any of your favorite podcast platforms.

Yeah.

I'm going to go do it right now.