Toront-dough: Boston Pizza with Samoa Joe

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In 2001, Nippon TV premiered Mane no Tora on Japanese television.

The high-concept format, roughly translated as money tigers, involved a slate of wealthy investors interrogating aspiring entrepreneurs to decide if their business plans were worthy of venture capital.

Audiences connected with the rags to riches narratives paired with the reality show Meanness afforded tycoons, and the brand competition show itself became a brand brand worldwide.

In Slovakia, the format was renamed the Lion Pit, in France as Who Wants to Be My Business Partner, in the U.S.

as Shark Tank, and in the UK and Canada as Dragon's Den.

And one of the dragons on Dragon's Den, not Kevin O'Leary or Robert Herkovic, who are panelists on both the American and Canadian formats, is Jim Treliving.

the owner of a pizza chain founded in 1964 in Edmonton, Alberta, by Gus Agiortis.

When the Greek Canadian Aguiortis' first and second choices for a trademark, Acropolis Pizza and Parthenon Pizza, were both unavailable, he defaulted to a third choice, naming his pizzeria for an American city he'd never resided in, in a brazen act of mass hole stolen valor.

Tre Living, a former Royal Canadian Mounted Police Officer, or Mountie, became an early franchise owner of the Faux Bow Town Slice Shop, and in 1983, having left the RCMP to focus on a different P,

pizza, he and a business partner purchased the concept wholesale.

Their stewardship saw the chain grow to a billion-dollar brand with nearly 400 locations and today it trails only pizza pizza, no relation to the American Little Caesars, which uses pizza pizza as its slogan, as the largest homegrown Canadian pizza chain.

In Canada, it's a crime to misrepresent yourself as a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

Down here in the States, however, it's just good clean fun.

After all, hashtag A-R-C-M-P-A-B, am I right?

Except maybe for Jim Treliving, the mountie who decided to do something productive with his life and start making pizza.

This week on Doughboys, we continue Toronto, Dough Canada, the Great Bite North, a month-long culinary tour of the six with Boston Pizza.

Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host,

Celine Dijon,

the Spoonman Mike Mitchell.

That's not bad.

Sending us some more bad roasts for the upcoming Toronto Canada apps, Barry Lam, our buddy Barry, we met backstage.

Good to see him as always.

He was here.

He saw me rip Toronto apart, which I like the city.

Everyone's afraid that I don't like the city.

I've grown to like,

well, our guest today,

our guest has seen me,

you've seen me come around.

I guess for audio listeners, our guest is making a telling face at the moment.

I've come around quite a way anyways.

But our live show episode came out today to date this.

That's right.

As of the day as of this recording.

And people are like, Mitch really doesn't like Toronto.

And like, there seems sad about it.

So Mars and Emma and I, we went on a wonderful waterfront tour.

Atlanta Johnston the Knife took us

on this walking tour.

Amelie was there too.

You met her parents.

Met her parents, which

explains a lot.

And then we got to, explains everything, honestly.

And then we got to, we met a fan, Rachel, down there.

I believe it was Rachel, right?

Yes.

Yeah, Rachel.

And Rachel was like, was like, I felt so bad that Mitch didn't like the city.

Rachel, I like it.

I've grown to really, really like it.

In fact, we did something that I really liked.

I won't get into it, but you and I did something together that I really liked.

We had quite an activity that may have, honestly, may have turned the tides.

I think it turned the tides quite a bit for me quite a bit.

I like the city.

You guys say I'm thin-skinned all the time.

I just make fun of your city for a night, and you're fucking babies.

You're fucking

skinned.

It sounds like they are a little thin-skinned, Emma.

Thank you.

I I agree.

You make fun of Boston.

You call me fucking small dick McGee.

I don't give a shit.

You call me Tubby.

I don't give a shit.

I make fun of your city just a little bit and you go crazy.

You get upset at me.

You say that I have the dick the size of a coffee straw.

You said that.

But that's the same thing.

You're just talking to me.

Yeah, I know.

Actually, fuck you.

I'm glad you're enjoying Toronto a little bit more because we are in the midst of Toronto Doe, Doe Canada, the Great Bite North, a month-long culinary tour of the Six, and we are up here at Podium Studios in Toronto with Emma Erdbrink, of course.

And

super producer Mars Marissa Melnick is here.

Now, Mars, you took us to Tenuno in Little Manila on Tuesday night for a birthday dinner with Amelia.

Amelia has since gone back to LA.

Amelia loves seafood.

She told me.

Amelia just left.

She left.

She was just like, this sucks.

She was done.

Not with the city, but with us.

Amelia's quote was, I always roll the dice on fish.

And so we went and had a seafood buffet.

This is a

this place.

The style they serve is Kamayan.

I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing it correctly, but you get like a gigantic table's worth of garlic rice, and then piled on top of that is milk fish, tilapia, squid, shrimp, mussel, pork belly, pork skewer, okra, eggplant, mango salad.

It's that sounds like rolling the die.

I mean, that's rolling.

They're rolling the dice.

Rolling the dice, yeah.

Very much so.

Do you roll the die or do you roll the dice?

You roll the dice.

You do?

Isn't two dice die?

No?

You roll the dice, but you can roll any

singular is a die.

A singular is a die.

Oh, okay.

Plural is dice.

I fucked up.

Did you, were you not thinking about Han Solo's famous dice?

Oh, my God.

That's the way you remember.

He's got two of them.

We've brought up Han Solo's dice too much in Canada alone.

We talked about it for a long time last episode.

Mars, this is a place you love and you took us to.

You actually treated us to,

which was super duper duper nice.

But I thought this was an amazing meal.

Yeah, it's just a fun experience because you have to eat everything with your hands, too.

They come in gloves.

It comes with unlimited garlic rice, and I love garlic rice.

I'm still stinking from all the garlic I ate for sure.

But yeah, it's like just a cool hole in the wall.

Anytime I take people from outside of Toronto to it, they always have a great time.

So I wanted to take you guys to.

I love it.

We're safe from Canadian Dracula, though.

It's true.

I want to suck your blood, eh?

That's Canadian Dracula.

What do you think, Wags?

Ah, pretty good.

You're going to play yourself.

Sorry, buddy, after he sucks your blood.

Or whatever.

Emma, hit him with a drop.

Our guests.

This is not one of your defining attributes.

You're a sneezer.

I'm not a sneezer.

Chris,

you're a new.

Oh, God.

I'm going to sneeze.

I'm going to sneeze, Wags.

One second.

Catch you.

We listened to a podcast, and this person sneezed on it, and we laughed.

I sneezed again.

Wow.

No warning that time.

Wow.

I am judging you.

I've never been so afraid that a sneeze was coming up.

Well,

as the drops go on, you can just tell that the show has gotten worse and worse.

Whatever.

Howdy, doughboys.

This may be super dated, but I was listening to the Checkers 2 episode with Tom Sharpling.

What an old episode.

That is.

Yeah, that is dated.

That was the deep pandemic.

Hey, we love Sharpling.

We got to get him back.

Where Mitch was christened as Martin Score Sneezy.

Then by chance, I heard the Coke Freestyle episode where he said where said sneezes, oh, where said sneezes occurred and put together this little drop, enjoy Caleb.

Caleb.

Caleb.

Wait, the Caleb, we know, wasn't there, was there a.

It's probably another Caleb.

I don't know.

You think it's a Caleb?

You think it's like the editor that we know?

Yeah.

Yeah, I doubt that.

I think that Caleb would have reached out to me personally and let me know he was doing this.

You're right.

Wags,

the nightmare came true for me yesterday.

I'm having with

I was like, I had, this is like the most days off I've had and you're fucking here.

It sucks.

And we had to do the podcast.

I know we had to do the podcast, but we were filming yesterday and I have kind of like a crazy, I have some crazy wardrobe.

I can't say what it is, but I have some crazy wardrobe that's like not easy to get in and out of.

And we were doing wides of a scene and

there's a 10-1

which is you have to take a peek yeah you mean you need to urinate and there's a 10-2 right which i call 10 stew my character is stew

and i had to like during the scene i was like sweating and i had to say the idea like i need to like stop I like I need to go to the bathroom.

He's like, can you make it through this next scene?

And I was like, no.

And I had to like run upstairs and

tend stew.

And here's the thing.

I could say this because I don't know an NDA.

Your wardrobe was a diaper,

but it was a picture diaper.

They got to use it on camera.

So you can't use it.

You can't fill it up.

I asked them immediately if I could fill up the diaper.

And they said, no, you can't shit in this thing.

And I like, it stopped down production.

Oh, wow.

Everyone was waiting.

Everyone was waiting.

God, that's the worst.

And I got back and I said to Stephanie Beatrice, I was like, sorry.

And she's like, what did you poop?

And I was like, yeah.

But my bit is on set is if I go 10-2, I just, I'm like, man, that was a really long 10-1.

I just pretend that it was, I try to pretend.

I've heard you do that bit before.

Yeah.

It's, I mean, it's great.

It's a good bit.

It's a great bit.

But it was a true, true nightmare.

Shut everything down.

I don't know if you've ever been in that position before, but it was bad.

Did you have a moment where, like, do you like, do you know what caused it?

Or was it this just like the natural sort of flow?

Like, was there our fucking show?

It was our show that did it.

We ate Swish LA and Harvey's back to back.

Oh, so it's right.

It was the next day.

What the fuck do you think is causing it?

You said it was yesterday.

Yesterday was Wednesday.

We ate that Monday.

And I was like, no way.

You were shitting out Monday's food on Wednesday afternoon.

I almost shit my pants.

And it's the week Doughboys are here.

What the fuck do you think caused it?

I don't know.

Your own decisions?

I'm eating set food.

That's it.

Okay.

It's still, it's the.

I'm sorry you had to do that.

That's an embarrassing situation.

I'm sure everyone put it out of mind immediately.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I'm sure.

No one remembers it.

At the rap party, people are giving toast.

Hey, remember when Mitch took a big shit and shut everything down?

Cost production $7 million.

Anyways,

it's been quite the week with you guys here.

It's been fun, though.

We're having a good time.

Drops at birdfuck.com.

And hey, we're going to continue to have a good time.

Very, very excited to have today's guest back and in studio this time, not just over Zoom.

Yeah.

Honestly, baffling he came back to us.

Every part of this confuses me, but I'm not going to be able to do that.

This feels like he feels bad for

his little dumb brother or something.

But we're happy you're here.

Our guest plays Sweet Tooth on Twisted Metal on Peacock.

Season two coming soon.

Samoa Joe.

Hi, Joe.

Hey, guys.

We're happy to have you.

Thanks so much for being here.

I'm so happy to be here.

You know, it's just this morbid curiosity.

I'm I'm glad I'm statiating.

You know, it's like

we're getting over this hill.

You know what I mean?

We're going to not look back.

It's like slowing down when there's a car accident.

It's a blaze.

So here we go.

You've been up here in Toronto for months now because you've been shooting up here and you know you have as heavy a workload as anybody.

You're in it, you're in a lot of it.

So, like, what have you gotten to see and experience the city at all?

I know you've spent some time here in the past.

Well, I like to tell your listeners, I love Toronto.

It's one of my favorite cities in the world.

Several friends here, fantastic restaurants, beautiful nightlife, great concert venues.

You know, really,

it's kind of like a taste of the world, all in one little place.

You know,

I've grown to love this place over the many years I've come.

I vacationed here.

And, you know, it's just, it's a real vibrant city, a real vibrant town.

And it's just a shame that some people can't appreciate that.

Let me tell you,

you're great.

He's just, he's a good wrestler, and he can really put the promo out there into the world.

you're full of shit.

I like, I have grown on Toronto's grown on me.

I had a string of bad luck.

A lot of things can grow on you doesn't mean necessarily good now.

You know what I'm saying?

That's that's I mean, that, but it's growing in a good way.

Okay, it's growing in a, it's growing in a good way.

I've done my best, right?

I've done my best to change that perception.

We've had a great time together.

Why don't you tell them a little bit about you done this summer with me since we've been here since it's been such a horrible time?

We went to a Green Day concert together, and Joe hooked it up.

We were like in the front section, basically.

Wow.

thank you, Lars at Verancid.

Yep, yeah, Lars Fredgerson, great brother.

And then we did, uh, we've done a lot of aquatic exercises together.

I've got him in the pool.

We're doing a little Aqualogics workout, you know, getting the old Rowan muscles back into shape for old Mitchie.

Yeah, yeah.

Wow.

We did do it when we did do it.

I, they, at one point, my, they came back.

I was about to take a picture.

You got to like trap Zilla in the pool.

Oh, I know these are still here.

You know what I mean?

Like, voice changed a little bit.

Kind of bumping people on the street.

It was dope.

I remember you were telling me about this, like, hey, I'm working out with Joe in the pool.

You just texted us a few times while you were doing this, and you just talked about how like fatiguing they were.

Like, do you have a place you go for this?

Like, where.

I got a pool in my apartment.

Oh, you have a pool in your complex.

He said this to me.

He was like, he was like, I'm going to show you an exercise and it's going to.

And it's going to be the, it's going to look like the easiest thing in the world.

And then it's going to make you the most tired.

And then he showed it to me.

And I was like, because I'm not going to be like, yeah, right.

But then he showed it to me.

I was like, that looks so easy.

It does look easy.

And it was just doing this.

I was just doing this in the water.

Uh-huh.

And then little forearm motions.

Yeah.

Like, you know, you do the grip strength thing.

Yeah, sure.

And it was the most fucking exhausting thing I've ever done.

Mitch is like, I do this all the time.

Yeah, he thought he had, like, off

this.

Okay.

It was a japped off motion.

Yeah, okay.

I don't japped off like this,

like a fucking motorbike.

It was when you and your twin brother are on the motorcycle.

You're doing that.

Who the fuck, but that's you.

Who the fuck would I do that with?

I don't.

You should have, I mean, maybe we'll get him in the pool.

We should get him in the pool.

We should get him to go through.

Oh, man.

I'd be down.

I'd try.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It would be fun.

I mean, it's so, so tiring.

I'm sure it would exhaust me.

I just, I, I, like, I used to swim, but I mean, like, any sort of like, like, it's just the resistance is up so much when you're in a body of water.

Yeah.

So

I'm certainly I couldn't handle it.

Maybe we'll take you maybe

you leave when saturday morning saturday all right no we're not

it's like it's like every like particular hell that he experienced out here he just wants to share that with you why yeah exactly

uh all right we got some great dinners together uh wait remember with the lee who was there uh souser lee yeah walking around amazing yeah yeah

he was in that we got like he was there and they were like do you want to get like the chef tasting menu and they're like he's here and we were like well then yeah which is kind of like a strong arm move Yeah, of course.

So, would you like to get the pre-forked seven-course meal?

Well, we were thinking about maybe getting a couple of, you know, he's here.

And then they kind of like, they kind of did like a over there, and he was like standing there, like, just very

iron chef stare down.

Well, I guess we need the priest.

Take the seven courses then, you know?

He's probably sweating over there.

He sees two fucking big dudes over there.

He's like, ooh,

which it was, actually, it was, it was filling.

And Wags, maybe the best slaw I've ever had.

What made this slaw so spectacular?

I couldn't tell you.

There's a million things in it.

It sounds like shit.

And then

we have a vegan

Thai slaw.

Yeah.

And then the guy went on a 15-minute tirade about how it's the greatest thing they make.

Everybody comes back for it.

He almost oversold it.

I was almost like, all right, dude, you're not doing this dish any favors at this point.

And then it came to the table and it was awesome.

Yeah, yeah.

It was everything he said it was.

And healthy.

Moosey, you're going to be ten stewing after that.

No one else calls it a ten-stew.

It's not catching on, by the way.

Yeah, you keep trying that.

I'm not wanting to say it, but that's cool.

You want shitting to be affiliated with your character's name.

Like, you're trying to make that happen.

Okay, so

do you have like a fake like standout meals or standout restaurants you go to in the city?

Because

one place that Mitch, I know you told me about was, is it Prime Seafood House?

Is that the Prime Seafood Palace?

Prime Seafood Palace, I suppose.

This is the Maddie Matheson restaurant.

Yeah, it took us into the back kitchen.

It was great.

That's amazing.

I think just the service is just out of this world.

I mean, food's great.

Without a doubt, food's top-notch, tremendous, lovely, lovely meal.

Yeah.

But

they're just really great people and they take care of you.

You know, any time of day, bring in the back of the kitchen, show you stuff.

I don't, you know,

it was a good experience.

That was awesome.

It was like one of those things where they brought us into the back kitchen.

felt like I shouldn't be in there.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I was like, I'm going to like, a beard hair is, you know what I mean?

Like, I'm afraid of being in like the, it's, it's like some of the best food in Toronto.

It was like me when I was backstage at AEW.

I was like, oh,

no one wants me here.

I'm in everyone's way.

You and Susan.

I make fun of them because I said that they were scared backstage at AEW.

I would be too.

It's chaos back there.

Yeah, it's wild.

It is.

It was me and JR like fighting over like sausages, basically.

You're going to eat that, son?

All right, so hold on a second.

Yeah, please.

The thing I said in the car, we gotta do it.

Look, okay, great.

There's news that

Big Justice and Big AJ are coming to AEW.

Yes.

So we need to ask your opinion: what do you choose?

The chicken bank or double chocolate chunk cookie.

God damn.

I mean, uh,

uh,

oh man, this is you're, you know, you were saying it was, and it's worse.

You know, if you want to leave, it's okay.

It's three flights downstairs.

I know why you trapped me up here now.

Brilliant plan.

You got me.

Sons of bees.

Have you had both of them?

I've never had the chicken bake.

I can never bring myself around to get the chicken bake.

Because the hot dog's so good.

I mean, yeah, the cost of the hot dog is a.

This guy, that doesn't.

This guy gets a hot dog and the fucking.

I'll do the chicken bake sometimes.

The chicken bake has bacon and it is the thing, and I've been trying to eat less, less or trying to not eat pork.

And so, like, that's that's one's kind of falling off.

The thing about the chicken bake is

it can be a little hit or miss.

The hot dog's always hitting, but sometimes chicken bake, like, it's like if you get an old one, yeah, that's what I'm kind of going with.

It's like the consistency, it just doesn't look like a consistent product.

You know, it looks like something I can sit there for a while and get real 7-Eleven-y real quick.

Yeah, the hot dog, the hot dog is better than the chicken bake.

Definitely, yeah.

But the chicken bake has its charm.

I like the chicken bake.

Sure.

So I'm going to say cookie.

Well, why?

Cookie's legit.

Double chocolate chonk cookie is legit.

Jesus.

Joe, do you mind saying it like that?

Yeah, actually, I do mind it.

When you mention it.

I like how you set that up by saying, we got to do the thing we did in the car.

Like this bit we practiced that we knew is going to be solid gold.

Well, to be clear, in the car, I was like, what was that dumb thing I said Joe would get mad at?

And then I eventually did remember it.

All right.

So, so the timing of last time you were on, Joe, is that we recorded the episode, Twisted Metal was coming out, and then the SAG After Strike happened.

We got a bunch of, you know, they had the strike guidance, which we complied with, but part of that involved, like, we weren't allowed to talk about anything that was currently airing.

So we haven't really gotten a chance to talk about Twisted Metal on the show.

So I just want to give you a second, like, because it's

your Sweet Tooth.

It's the iconic character from Twisted Metal.

And so a lot is on your shoulders in terms of realizing that.

But also, I think people watching it as someone who watched the whole first season are just like, oh, yeah, this is Sweet Tooth.

You know, this is great.

And then we were talking earlier, like the moment when your head gets set on fire, which is the thing everyone's waiting on.

Which is done by Stu.

Which is done by Stu.

It plays so well.

Yeah, no,

like it's, it sucks that when I was first here, we couldn't talk about it.

Cause obviously we had come off this really fun season.

The show was received pretty well, and we definitely wanted to talk about it.

But yeah, it was weird.

For me, obviously, I'm a big gamer.

I mean,

I remember Twisted Meadow when it first came out, and I remember playing it, Couch Co-op with my buddies for hours at a time.

And yeah, it's a big weight, especially when you're a gamer.

Like, you know, you want to get...

you want to get a character like sweet tooth right and uh yeah i mean when when they did pitch it to me like i remember i kind of went into my deep knowledge of gamer bullshit that they told me would never be worth anything.

And, you know, kind of pulled out an idea of what we wanted the character to be.

And after me and Will met and spoke a little bit,

you know, we had a chance to kind of bring it together.

And I mean, I've been enjoying it.

I liked what we put out, and I'm excited for people to see what we're doing in season two.

I'll say, I'll say this because I mean, I think I said some of this last year, but

Joe is

the on set, he is the most prepared guy.

Do it like a he always knows his lines.

Wait, it's not you?

No,

weird.

I take acting very seriously.

I know you do.

I know you do.

Yes, and we all know that.

I take it very seriously.

You keep telling us that, too.

Joe is.

No, I will say we had invited you out to

a fun event earlier this week, and you were like, I have to study my lines because you were working the next day.

You're dedicated to your craft.

And I did eventually study those lines around 11.

Hey, you're starting to do that now?

It's awesome.

It's trending up.

Joe is always off book, always knows his lines, always is giving a great performance.

Oh, yeah.

This is the truth.

But also on top of all of that,

well, dealing with me, Juan, and being like, man, I fucking sucked.

That's what happens all the time.

I'm like, I sucked.

He's like, relax, you're fine.

We're like, man, that 10-2 took way too long.

And I was like, yes, but, you know, we got to keep moving.

We got to keep going forward.

Let's think and thinking.

Am I sweaty and I'm just drenched with sweat?

and the makeup team i'm supposed to be sweaty a lot of time but the makeup team is like we need to take the sweat off of you after your gigantic shit um

it's the truth this is what happened the other day uh but you're always very kind as a scene performer but more than anything uh and this season i've noticed a lot of it and i i said this last year too but you're so good with the you're you're such you're so good with your body language it's good he's so good with his body language it's crazy your face is covered you know you're wearing the mask so like so much of it is like stuff that you have to physically you know embody and that comes from i i i know it and i think we maybe did speak about this on your first episode but that comes from you were a performer yeah i mean i i were my family they ran apologies dance troop so i've been on stage since five uh traveling doing shows and then transitioned into pro wrestling and then a lot of it's just uh kind of picking up tips from a lot of the mask wrestlers and their ability to emote oh yeah sure right kind of like you know because you know juicen thunder lager i think is one of the greatest wrestlers in the history of our industry, but you've never saw his face or never got to see the pain and the hurt, yet he still managed it to get it across.

And yeah, I just kind of took the same approach with this character, and uh, which is a good thing because, you know, it's kind of what I'm hired for.

You know, it's kind of the prerequisite for the job.

Like, you got to animate the character without lips and eyes and all that stuff.

So, but you're also giving such a great performance on set, too, on top of vocally as well.

But because you know, I want to make you know, make sure my Mitch is in his best form.

You know, I want them to see the best version of you, man.

So, I give my all so you can give your all, Pat, all right.

And I am.

I am.

Yeah.

I mean, we think so.

It is, it is good.

Like, just like when you're walking, like, there's a scene this year where like you're walking down the hallway and you're like excited about something.

You can read it in the body.

Although I did do the like the Groucho Marks walk a little bit too much earlier in the season.

That's exactly what I was thinking.

Like halfway through two episodes, I'm like, I'm walking everywhere like Groucho Marks for no apparent reason.

They're just Miss Silly and I like it.

It was fantastic.

It was great.

It was great.

Okay, so what is it like actually wearing the helmet?

Like, what is your visibility?

Like, was it like the Sweet Tooth mask you're shot?

The Sweet Tooth mask.

Yeah, yeah.

It's, well, it used to be decent when I had two eyeballs.

I shot one.

I shot one out.

Thanks, buddy.

So it's been great walking around with one this year.

But yeah, I mean, the visibility, obviously, you get one eyeball.

The ventilation's pretty much non-existent.

I can probably help Wags out here.

So think about like a ball gag mask and then just like your entire face.

Okay, yeah.

Got it.

Got it.

Remember those ball gag days bud yeah

it's kind of like a leather gimp hood combined with a couple of ball gags yeah there you go yeah yeah yeah perfect you get it yeah yeah i get it

what okay so so you're wearing the mask and a lot of times like you know you have this the ice cream truck you're in like what is that ice cream truck actually like terrify can i just say terrifying

it's terrifying we we i think we actually did say this on the first episode too it's a converted mail truck yes yeah and we yeah yeah I Mitch, I'm fucking teeing up stuff that we already talked about, but we had to edit it out of the previous episode.

Oh, did?

Oh, really?

Yes, that's the whole thing we did when we recorded it.

Samoa Jones first episode.

The strikes hadn't started yet, so we talked about a bunch of stuff.

I didn't listen to the fucking chill.

He sent me the memo earlier saying we're going to probably recover.

You didn't get the memo either.

Jesus Christ.

Was there an email?

Was the memo an email?

Ooh.

So look, it was a converted mail truck.

It was a converted mail truck.

I feel like I'm really prepared for this podcast, too.

Acting is my job.

Though

I am playing the character of Mitch in this podcast, people don't know that.

I'm actually much smarter and shit less.

It was a converted mail truck, and we both tip our

cap to

prisoners of New Orleans.

Yes.

Oh, my God.

And mail carriers.

When they didn't have AC in the mail trucks,

it's so fucking...

It's a metal box of hell.

It's just.

Wow.

It sucks.

Yeah, it it really, it really.

Well, that, and then one of the walls is fraught with just the sharpest, rustiest things you've ever seen.

Hacksaws, spikes, nails.

I remember one day, like, as we were like tumbling around back there, we're like, hey, shouldn't we maybe, like, I don't know,

not having so many hooks and barbs on the wall of a car that we're crashing around?

Like, oh, yeah, it's a good idea.

They started like bending back hooks and doing all kinds of stuff.

Joe and I were like, it was like, like, they're, they, you know, they're, you're, you're, they're in the car and they're like, you know, we'll be green screen or something, but they'll like be moving the car.

There'll be two like grips, basically, just like bouncing the car up and down.

And then we have to like go back and forth and throw ourselves and you're like, you're throwing yourself into a wall of weapons, basically.

But, but that fucking, that,

that fucking ice cream truck sucks so much.

It sucks.

It's a, it sucks.

It looks great.

I can't, it looks great.

Now, granted, I may have a different perspective because I have a nice comfortable seat and, you know, you're usually in the back holding on to something that really shouldn't be held on to and trying to keep balance.

So, I could see where you would think it sucks, you know, because you don't get to actually sit down and you're like a civilized person.

And Harold gets shotgun, Harold.

This is the truth: Harold, the paper bag, gets shotguns.

Also, yeah, I'm just always standing up in the back of the ice cream truck, which does which sucks.

But even just driving around it, we like we shot some stuff this year where we were driving pretty fast, and you're it's like that's a fucking scary car.

If you go above

20 miles per hour,

yeah, if you get up into the 30s and 40s, you're it's rattling weird ways, and the

clown head on the top is basically a giant sledgehammer that just like as it gets going and it hits the car, just you just, it sounds like somebody's trying to break in with the tank.

Like just

we have a great team that takes care of, like, the picture car people are awesome.

Yeah.

And the stunt people are awesome.

And the whole crew is fantastic.

But this year,

the brakes on the ice cream truck did go out at one point.

Oh, my God.

It was, it was.

Granted, we were only making a like a five-mile per hour turn, but we didn't take out a camera.

We nearly took out a camera.

It was fucking, it was scary as hell.

But yeah, anyways, it's an old fucking ice cream truck.

And then if you want to talk about New Orleans and the, that, the jail.

So we've, we've, wow.

Uh, so if you were a prison in the city, if you were a prisoner in the city of New Orleans in the 1800s.

Well, even upstate, wasn't that place open until like, it was open until like the 80s or 90s, wasn't it?

Yeah.

And so basically it was like, I think it was the old New Orleans city jail,

and

basically it's a really archaic cement block building with this courtyard.

And during the day in the courtyard, it got so hot, it melted the lights.

And then we filmed like midnight,

dead of midnight, 12 o'clock at night.

The temperature inside that courtyard was still 112 degrees.

Oh my God.

It was a hot, it was, it was so, it was like one of the hottest experiences of my life.

Like, honestly, you could have sentenced me to like 10 days in there and I would have been like, I'm never committing a crime ever again.

Cause like it, it was, it was a human oven.

Like, it was crazy how they, and like, it was designed that way.

You could tell like it was designed to just bake people in the yard.

Right.

It was fucked.

It was fucked up.

It's the episode where

what's the place where you were sent to Blackfield Assignment?

Blackfield.

It's the Blackfield episode when we when we visit Blackfield together.

Why?

Because I don't know if you remember.

I remember.

Yeah, yeah.

Just because it's the Canadian episodes, 112 degrees Fahrenheit, I looked up this 44 degrees Celsius.

So that is really

blazing.

The Canadians are going crazy right now.

44 by

a real story for those guys.

Do you have any from from it could be from last season?

It could be from this current season you're shooting.

Do you have any stories about Mitch on Zeit?

Because it is so much of the show is the two of you.

Well, he already took the good one about him holding up production about $5 million worth of work.

Massive bowel movement.

Do you know how embarrassing that is for everyone to stop down for?

Yeah, Yeah, I know.

Yeah, totally.

And they're like, I heard over.

Well, I think the most embarrassing part was the director started humming the Jeopardy theme.

That was kind of messed up.

For 17 minutes.

It's so embarrassing as you're going upstairs being like, I'm going to go to the bathroom.

And like having a complicated outfit on.

And then you walk by a PA and you hear over there, over the walkie-talkie, like, Mitch has to take a bathroom break.

Just everyone knows.

I was, it sucked.

Yeah, I mean,

I have not had that specific situation, but I did have a time when I was on the Comedy Bang Bang TV show and I was shooting a bit where I was like playing a waiter and I was just like, hey, I'm just going to run their best with the restroom real quick.

And as soon as I went in the bathroom,

I heard a guy in Ilwaukee talking outside.

I was like, yeah, yeah, Wager's in the restroom.

They were clearly waiting on me.

And hearing, yeah, hearing that that's a radio conversation.

It makes you very self-conscious.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You just got to come back and be like, woof, that 10-1 was crazy.

That's all you got to do.

I think all the stories, it's like, it's like pretty much our shared, like, we've had some uh some rough goes as far as like shooting locations and our outfits when we're shooting sometimes a little bit skimpier than they should be oh yeah it being you know a little cold in canada some evenings you know yeah a little peaking and uh just you know busy shooting schedule having to get stuff done and then uh at the same time it's like you know while you're waiting for some type of solar blanket uh they're like all right we're up let's get this shot and they shoot and then it's like you're done in five minutes and you're frozen and you're being escorted back to set and he's always shirtless he never has a shirt on.

And then there might be, you know, there might be stuff where I'm in a similar situation.

Similar situation, but maybe, no, I will just say similar.

Similar situation, but from the waist down, perhaps.

And it was cold.

It was.

Hey, I just want to make it very, very clear.

It was super freezing that day.

I had dinner with your wonderful family.

That was a fantastic moment.

You watched my giant son kill a two-person prime rib.

That was the funniest.

Which we found out when we went back there and he tried to order the same prime rib.

And they looked at a bitch and go, sir, that's for two people?

They wouldn't let me do it.

They wouldn't let him out.

They let his son do it.

They wouldn't let me do it.

That's so funny.

And his son is an alpha.

His son rules.

Yeah, both of your sons rules.

Yeah, I do have a giant son with the size 16 shoe and just

taller than me.

And he killed the prime rib and pretty quick, too.

He took it down.

I have an elephant tranquilizer gun in case it he gets out of hand.

I love him to death.

He's the best.

Well, congrats on Twisted Battle.

It's right.

I'm very, very excited for season two.

And another thing I'm excited about is a thing that I was completely surprised by.

And I think a lot of people were, like a dragon pirate Yakuza in Hawaii, which is you just show up in the trailer.

I just do.

I'm watching this thing because I just, I, you know, I like those games.

And like,

and I just, I, I told you, like, I, I was like, is that Joe?

And then I just typed in Samoa Joe into my search engine and Bing auto-completed Yakuza.

So like, you know,

you were just like, everyone was talking about it.

These games are

games that you like, you were a fan of this series when this offer came to you.

Yeah,

I played a good majority of the Yakuza games, the Leica Dragon games, I played them all and dug them.

So it was cool.

Like

got in touch, say you got in touch with me and they gave me the offer and I was like, you know, super surprised.

Yeah.

They've been using a little bit more Western celebrities as of late.

I think they had Danny Treyo in the last game.

So, yeah, it was cool, man.

I was really stoked on it.

And then I actually did my first audio for it here this past weekend.

And I'm really excited

for people to see what they've come up with because that's pretty crazy.

There's a couple things I want to address here.

Yeah, please.

One, we were joking that we weren't sure if Joe was a part of the Yakuza.

For real.

Yes, yes.

Two, Joe has strong opinions about weapons.

I do.

Oh, wow.

And

a lot of weapons in these games.

They are.

Can I say what?

Can I say,

I'm going to quote you here.

Yeah.

I think I'm quoting you correctly.

Samurai swords are bullshit.

Is that correct?

Yeah.

That's pretty correct.

And kids aren't going to be happy about that.

Well, you know, they don't use them anyways.

He knows what you do.

If you want, if you would like to talk about weapons for a second, because what did you tell me was the best weap that you?

I would say, like, probably

the English cavalry saber.

Okay.

I mean, really, like when you look at it, if you get a guy with a cavalry saber and a guy with a a katana, I think the cavalry saber guy will whip his ass nine times out of ten.

It's just I remember reading about, you know, that there's a period of warfare where like pikes and halberds, which are usually like kind of like a like, oh, yeah, that's a, that's an option in an RPG, but they like absolutely dominated battlefield.

Oh, for the, I would, I would wager probably through most of the

Hundred Years' War and the Middle Ages, just because, you know, pole weapons are easy.

They're easy to manufacture.

You put one in a farmer's hand, you say poke like this, and you have yourself a soldier.

So, I mean, it's ease of adoption and ease of building and ease of use and you can mass manufacture them so yeah generally pole arms or speared weapons would probably be the the ultimate battlefield weapon if you had to choose one and also you are a collector of weapons i i did it not purposely it never started off purposely just people i would just come mim like people like oh here you want this i'm like okay cool and like i'd put them in a bucket and then the bucket just came ridiculously full with stupid weapons from everywhere and then now i've just kept adding to it just for shits and giggles And you also will send, didn't you send Jon Moxley?

I'll sell him all.

Yeah, I'll send not just him.

I mean, I've punk.

I mean, it's just hilarious to get a battle axe on your doorstep on a Wednesday.

Like, it's just,

I mean, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's strictly for me and my pleasure just to get that text.

Like, what the fuck, dude?

Like, you know, like, you know, especially the why, like, Renee is the best.

You know, I'll send stuff to Moxley and Renee will just be like, I have a fucking child.

Will you stop this?

Wait, you can just, like, ship a morning star through like CBS.

That's wild.

Two days?

I mean, she could prime that shit if you really need to.

You should FedEx Mitcha Claymore.

Yeah,

give me ideas.

It'll be bad news for you.

You're basically sending a murder weapon to one of us.

I just want to see you posing with your two cats.

Defender of my land.

Okay, you were, because you were telling me,

and I don't know if you could tell the story there, but you were like, they were briefing you.

They were talking through your character

and like a dragon dragon pirate because in Hawaii, and they were talking about the game and explaining it.

And you reached a point where you just had to tell them, like, yeah, well, and I like to do this all games, like, even if I've played the series before, it's like, we'll shut up and actually hear what they have to say about the game.

So they're, they're trying to describe a like a dragon game to me, but you know, they're kind of getting sidetracked by all the wackiness in the game.

And like, the explanation was just taken, like, but it's Yakuza, but then it's, it's very lighthearted, and there's mini-games.

You can, Mario Kart, and then you can deliver stuff on a segue.

it's like you know i'm like and finally i go listen i i played both games i i know exactly what they do i fit it oh thank god it was like it was like this really okay oh man because we don't have to try to explain this to you man like just the wildness of especially the like a dragon games which are pretty out there as far as like uh crazy stuff and enemies and things like that so yeah you're saying

you were saying you've like like 100 of the side quests into infinite wealth which came out this year like you're playing the shit out of these games and then out like this this offer comes it's got to be a crazy it's wild it's wild yeah it's like you know you're something that you're playing then it's like right oh oh and two months later you're like oh hell hey do you want to be in the next one it's like yeah it's

rules yeah it's pretty it's pretty sick i was saying the balder's gate three expansion needs an npc i'm available

the town free

you like they you can bring a chicken to you you'll bite its head up

um

i was saying that i was saying that saga should should if it should know it should scan you and you shouldn't be able to beat joe if if you fight joe in the game Weiger specifically, if you're you, yeah, just get

just gets fucking digital.

Knock it off, Weiger.

That's what I wanted.

It's getting hard.

Jesus.

I got a 10-1.

Wait, really?

I knew it.

Yeah, I got a 10-1.

Okay, we'll take a break.

We'll be back with more Doughboys.

Fuck.

Go get it.

Welcome back to Doughboys discussing Boston Pizza.

Mitch, how you feeling?

I just want to apologize.

This is such a long pee.

Yeah, I noticed that.

It was just such a long, so embarrassing.

Having some tract problems?

There's a lot of grunting.

Well, yeah.

The toilet's really hard to figure out.

So I was like just trying to figure that out.

You made flushed a couple of times.

Yeah, so that took a couple.

Yeah, so that, yeah, that took a

couple.

That took a couple minutes up of what you were

of while you were waiting.

Right.

It was like hard to figure out the the toilet, and that was me trying to lift up the toilet, but yeah, man, what was all the cussing under your breath about?

That was kind of that,

you know, I was like, uh, they were low on

soap,

so I was

pretty, I was big hands, yeah, a lot of soap.

I was pretty pissed off about,

but man, what a long, that was such a long pee.

Yeah, yeah, could I go in there right now or should I wait a little bit?

No, okay,

no, no, honestly, it smells like uh, it smells like pee in there, oh, which could be overpowering.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Eating a lot of vinegar.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So embarrassing.

Your bladder must have been really full, so you must have been a lot better.

Yeah.

Do you know when you have a really long pee like that?

It's embarrassing.

Yeah, no, no, yeah.

I'm with you.

We're discussing Boston Pizza for Toronto, Doe Canada, the Great Bite North, a month on Culinary Tour of the Six.

It was founded in 1964 in Edmonton by a Greek American, I'm sorry, a Greek Canadian,

Gus Agiordis.

Gus had two other choices to name his pizza chain.

Those were both already copyrighted, so he went with Boston Pizza for unknown reasons.

He has no actual connection to Boston.

He's never lived there.

There's speculation that he'd a friend from Boston, but it just seems like a pretty arbitrary choice that, again, it gives no real connection to the city.

My mom called me after the P.A.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

That's why I had to go for a phone call from my mother.

We need to take a phone call in there.

Yeah, yeah.

Got it.

Yeah, yeah.

So I was on the phone for a long time in there, too.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

That's all.

And you were kind of just making fart sounds over the phone to her?

Yeah.

You didn't hear anything, did you?

We didn't hear anything.

I was playing music pretty loud in there.

Once again, it was greatest American hero.

So, so

Gus sold the concept to Jim Treliving, who was a former Mountie, made it into a billion-dollar company.

Former Mountie.

Former Mountie.

Treliving is also a panelist on Dragon's Den, which is the Canadian version of Shark Tank.

So he's like a well-a-known figure up here.

Hey, you know what?

AMAB.

All Mounties are bastards.

I'm just going to say it.

I go so far as to say A-R-C-M-A-B.

All Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

It's a tricky acronym.

Joe, have you had Boston Pizza previously?

Do you have any acronyms you want to throw out?

No, no.

No, I still want to be able to walk around the streets here.

I have had Boston

pizza once before.

Okay.

And it was after a event in Edmonton, oddly enough.

Oh, wow.

But I just had beers and wings.

Okay.

And so you went in story.

It was like a place to hang out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And like, have you, you know, because you spent a lot of time up here in Canada.

Have you found any pizza in Canada that like you like you really like, or have you

developed any thoughts about Canadian pizza in general?

Uh, I think I think the pizza game is pretty good, pretty solid up here.

Yeah, yeah, and I think it's more of a recent thing.

I don't think it's uh, it's pretty good, yeah.

We we did uh cowabunga pizza

and the hammer, yeah, in the hammer, yeah, as we fondly call it out here.

If you can imagine that New Orleans prison, but a giant city,

I mean, am I wrong?

I hope you're hated in the streets of the hammer.

I mean, nothing better.

I actually, I kind of love the hammer in some ways.

Yeah.

Like, people were like, that's why he doesn't like Toronto.

It's not the reason.

And I was just joking, anyways.

But were you?

But were you?

I had a listen.

Let me be honest here.

Any place that's kind of a little far from home is a little rough for you.

That's true.

I'm missing the

homebody.

You're a homebody.

I am a homebody.

It's been almost three months without seeing Wally and Irma Wall because I miss my kitty.

Now we get to the crux of it.

You got the mini versions on the table right there, along with the mini hunky minions.

All courtesy of Emma.

I got another recommend.

T-W-S-L-E-P.

That was such a long, embarrassing piss.

Yeah, yeah.

Mitch, you're missing home.

That's like a really common one.

It's true, yeah.

People say that all the time.

Mitch, you're missing home.

Uh-huh.

You're a Boston guy.

Uh-huh.

Boston Pizza, you're maybe thinking that.

Yeah, you think I'd walk in there and feel like I'm fucking at home.

Yeah.

No.

No.

Not at all.

So you and I have been to Boston Pizza together before.

We went in Vancouver and that was my first experience.

And it was not a good experience, I would say.

No, but it was also, it was a similar thing to what Joe was describing.

He's like, we went very late.

It was, it was not close to closing, but it was just like a late night.

There was no other options.

There were no other options.

Yes.

Yeah.

And it was like, we both were tired.

We were in there to do a live show.

I think the next day we did the live show.

Yes.

And we were just like, let's just eat here.

Was there an NBA game on?

I think yes.

Or maybe it was right.

I think maybe it was a playoff game because it was January.

Maybe it was either a playoff game or NBA game.

NFL playoffs.

And we were like watching the game and just eating pizza.

And I think that we were like, this is okay.

I don't think we hated it.

I think that this chain, I think people think that we're going to like this chain

the least.

Well, and also, and Mars, I'm curious because, you know, you live up here, you're from here.

Like, did you grow up with Boston Pizza?

uh not really i can't say i go there very often or maybe i've only been there once my only memory of boston pizza is um at anime north which is uh canada's largest anime convention it's kind of closer to the airport and there's not many restaurants there but there's like so many big crowds one of the only restaurants nearby is boston pizza and they have the big boston pizza sign and every anime north weekend they'd put on the lettered sign Boston Pizza, welcome anime.

And all the cosplayers would just use it as like a photo shoot location to of like take photos in front of the Boston Pizza sign that says Welcome Anime.

So that's my only affiliation with Boston Pizza, but sports bars kind of scare me.

So you just see like the Boston Pizza Welcome Anime and then like power from Chainsaw Man.

That's awesome.

That's exactly that.

Wow.

Sports bars kind of scare you.

In college, I don't get that.

They're like loud.

I don't understand sports.

There's all those dudes that take those really long P's in them.

You know what I mean?

And that could scare off anyone.

Oh, embarrassing.

So embarrassing.

Speaking of which,

on the men's room door, I showed you this, Wags.

You're going to say, speaking of which, I got a 10-1 again.

This might be a longer piss this time.

There was this little

fun little

treat here, which is the washroom.

Look at this.

The guy's.

Yeah, we'll put that up on the YouTube.

So this is a guy.

It's a guy who's in some sort of intestinal distress, or does he just really need to pee?

I think you're really pissed is what it looks like.

He's like holding himself.

He's holding himself.

Or I I was thinking he was like a guy like embarrassed of his dick at the urinal.

It's one of the two.

Either, yeah.

Either he's doing the

eager piss dance or, yeah, definitely embarrassed.

Yeah, there's no urinal dividers and doesn't like what he's packing.

And then wise,

I found a burger place that was like our burger place.

Soy boys.

We're

soy boys.

And then also, wise.

The soy boys beat up the doughboys.

No.

And then also, I'll say this at the end of the

menu

in the dessert section, it says, got a sweet tooth.

And I said, we got the sweet tooth right next to us.

Oh, boy, you really said that.

Okay.

Things.

Sometimes I wish you would just piss all day.

You know what I mean?

We got the sweet tooth.

There's that.

No, we got it.

We got it.

I think, I think that's, I think, Pizza Pizza.

Is Pizza Pizza a place that people eat more in Toronto?

Certainly more than Boston Pizza, but that's just because there's many more locations and it's open late night.

Pizza Pizza is like more of a takeout spot, though, right?

Like Boston Pizza is like,

for Americans who haven't been here, Boston Pizza to me is like, I said this is a restaurant, it feels more like Buffalo Wild Wings.

It's like this is a place people go to like watch sports and like hang out.

Or what like Pizza Hut used to be.

What Pizza Hut used to be.

It's like, like, yeah, it's more like a part.

It's more like a sit-down place as opposed to like Pizza Pizza, which is akin to more of like a Domino's or something like that.

But

Pizza Pizza is also from Toronto.

And oh, we found this out.

Yeah.

Because we thought it, Joe.

I had to tell you, you gave me a bit of fake news.

Oh, no.

I sparkied you.

You sparkied me.

Oh, I gave you the old Canadian sparky.

My bad, dude.

Pizza Pizza.

Not related to Little Caesars, it turns out.

Well, where's the lawsuit?

Because they're close enough, bud.

I think it was.

Isn't there something I think it got litigated to some degree?

Like, Little Caesars is not allowed to say pizza pizza up here.

I don't know what predated what, actually.

But you are not the only one who said that.

There were multiple people who were saying, Yeah, I understand that.

Pizza Pizza was Little Caesars in Canada.

It sounds like a reframe.

It's a really good color scheme and font on there.

And it says pizza pizza.

It's

it's which is, as we know, is that little Greek fuckers catchphrase.

Oh, the Greeks, huh?

Don't get you started.

Greek fucker, which Harris Widdles had a tweet about how they show his chest hair.

It's true.

Which is very funny.

Well, that's what makes the marinara sauce taste so good.

They have a Greek man.

They shore him every day and refresh marinara.

Spoiler alert.

Boston Pizza's marinara might need some Greek chest hair because

our,

well, we'll get into it.

Things did not start off well.

So

we directed Joe to go to a Boston Pizza location that is not just permanently closed, now appears to be just like an abandoned building.

Like I said, it looked more like downtown Boston than restaurant pizza.

God damn it.

I was like,

does he not like Boston?

Shut up, you fucking nerds.

By the way, Emma was sending us to the right spot, which was pretty conveniently located for you.

Yeah, it was a block and a half away from my apartment.

And then why?

Why?

gone there?

No, not to dox yourself.

You will have weird Doughboys fans staying outside your, which you will easily be able to handle.

But Waggs was then like, hey, there's one cloth.

We should go to this one.

This is what Waggs says.

Well, we were at a different place.

Here's the thing.

We were at a different place that we were doing for the podcast.

And we were like, oh, this place is.

I thought we were like, oh, we can walk to this.

Because it was like, it was like, you know, like, like nine minutes away or something like that.

We were close to the Eaton Center.

The

Eaton Center.

Mitch, we were close to the Eaton Center.

We were quittingly enough.

The Daff Center, which we we thought was fun.

I fucked up

because the website, the Boston Pizza website listed it as a location, and it showed up on Apple Maps as well.

So I just assumed without double-checking as to, without calling the number to make sure it wasn't permanently closed, that we would be able to go there.

But yes, not only was it abandoned, it smelled like trash.

There were bad vibes.

The website's got it delisted.

It should not be among their locations.

I'm sure Google Maps didn't even show it to me as an option.

So maybe Google is more trustworthy in what's open or closed versus Apple.

Maybe we just.

This one versus Boston Pizza's own fucking corporate website.

Yeah, fucking pizza.

This has almost happened twice to us, too, by the way.

That it was closed?

That we were going to go to another location.

It was just permanently closed.

I love that my Uber driver, when he dropped out, goes, where the fuck are you going, man?

Like, you know, he's like looking for like, okay, stop here, stop there.

He's like, where the fuck are you going, man?

And then seeing Vox and I come up and go, La Cori.

I'm surprised that when we got there, you just didn't slam our heads together like coconuts, which you had the right to do.

Well, it was great because

you were a great sport about it and good spirits.

But as we're walking over there, Mitch is telling me, Joe is going to be so mad.

And then he says, I'm blaming you.

So I was ready to get my ass kicked.

In my head, I was just thinking of you just picking them up and spitting them and tossing them into the gray.

We pivot to the Front Street location, which is in kind of a, you know, this, this very bustling area.

And we started with a couple of apps.

We got the triple play.

I'll read the menu copy.

A shareable portion of our three guest favorites.

Bandera bread with Santa Fe ranch dip, our signature chicken Thai bites and cactus cut potatoes served with cactus dip.

Also wings, which we got fried, and that was with

just their default buffalo hot sauce.

And

there was a ranch dipping sauce.

You get them baked or fried.

And then our server, who was very nice, said the fried were

the way to go.

I thought they were very solid wings.

I got no complaints about those wings.

Here's, I have, I'm a big wing snob, also.

I love it.

And my biggest thing, I think we talked about this.

Yeah.

The size of the wings.

Jumbo wings are bullshit.

Yes.

They are overly injected with water.

They taste terrible.

They're chewy.

They're rubbery.

You need regular size, small wings.

Shout out to Ronnie Killings, also a big proponent of the small wing theory.

And yeah, these were perfectly sized wings.

I love it.

Yeah.

Grilled, fried crispy, just as they should.

Nice, nice.

I think we talked about this, too, nice buffalo hot sauce, perfect amount of hot sauce.

Good kick.

Good decent kick.

Great kick.

Just right where it needed to be.

So, I mean, the wings, big pass from me.

No, I say, like, I'm a bit of a heat seeker, and I like the a bit of is key.

Like, I don't want this, I want, I want punishing heat for my wings.

I want just like that little bit of tank.

They had a kick.

A little bit of a kick.

It was like a step above Frank's.

It wasn't just Frank's.

I don't know.

No, it wasn't just Dan.

I didn't think it was just Frank's.

And a decent ranch.

Look, the ranch was good.

These aren't the best wings that any of us have ever had.

No, sure, of course not.

and like probably like

but good mid good mid to good yeah they weren't bad at all we're good the triple play was was a pretty solid app platter too mitch this is the thing i think you and i have eaten more of than anything over the course of doing this podcast which is just the appetizer sampler platter and a lot of them are like like i've just like it's just dull you've gotten the same like like you know

mot sticks and uh and onion rings and chicken tendies yeah no this one's this one mixes up a little bit the the chicken tie bites uh the bandera bread which bandera bread which is just like like a uh a kind of like a uh kind of like a crazy bread on yeah like a cheesy flat like a cheesy flat

maybe is we'll talk about it later it's like pizza with the sauce which is maybe the way to go and then like the the potatoes i like i i liked whatever that dip was i think it was just like a chipotle aioli but yeah yeah or maybe it was more of like kind of like a like a like a dill ranch or something i think it was a dill like a dill ranch

i thought one was a sour cream and onion kind of uh i think that's what we're talking about yeah like a dill sour creamy onion yeah yeah so you're basically making your own sour cream and onion uh chips with with by scooping, yeah.

And the chips were the chips were good, they were fine, they're good, uh, but that the Thai chicken strips were, I thought, were tasty, yeah.

And the bandera slices, I thought those were pretty good, too.

Those were good, and

they were I, you already said it, but I, I, I agree, they were better than just the straight-up cheese pizza we got, which you were right to say, like, let's get a medium cheese pizza just as a baseline, like, you know, and and so we just got the default

Exactly.

I think for me, I always try.

I mean, I don't think,

I don't think there was a big enough difference between the medium and large here.

The medium was pretty big size.

I always say a large cheese pizza is the best thing to judge a pizza by.

That's how I feel.

I've always said this.

I've said this on podcasts forever.

Here's the deal with that place.

I do think that the cheese is pretty good because we had it on the Bandera bread and I liked it on the pizza too.

And the crust isn't bad.

The sauce at Boston Pizza is not good.

It's not a good sauce.

This is what I was alluding to, which you could tell, is that it tastes like the Domino.

If you get the Domino's marinara sauce to dip your bread into, and it tastes like

there's some herb in it, which

what did you think it was?

Like

oregano.

Oregano.

I think it is oregano.

There was like an overwhelming taste of

that herb in the sauce.

I like how my brain just collapsed in and itself and I couldn't think of oregano.

So fucking dumb.

I couldn't think of it either.

We're both fucking dumb.

We're dumb.

We've We've gotten dumber since the show started.

I don't know what to tell people.

I had a meltdown last year.

I thought my house was haunted.

I went through weird shit.

I explained all this to Joe.

He was like, okay.

Well, sinus infection, huh?

Hey, you know what?

This guy right here has helped me get better with it.

It's the truth.

That's nice.

He did.

Yeah, you know.

He said this.

He said, walk.

like at least walk a mile to get water and drink a gallon of water and it it helps so much.

And I think it's just clearing out my sinuses, basically.

It's great.

But

the sauce is, it's like a, it just tastes like such a bagged, shitty sauce.

Yeah.

And it, and it ruined, it,

I won't say ruined.

Oh, yeah, it kind of does ruin the pizza.

To compare it to another sauce in recent memory, it was better than the sauce on the pizza approximation that was the pizza flatbread they have at Tim Hortons.

Like, like, that's just like, that was was just like tomato paste.

I kind of like this.

This had some seasoning to it.

You prefer it to this?

No, because

I think all the other ingredients in this were better.

Yeah, that's what I was going to say.

But like, the sauce had,

it was like some sort of marinara, but it, it, it just like the flavor of it was, I don't know, I almost feel like it was like just too sweet and it kind of overpowered everything.

It, it reminded me of.

It tastes like a dirt sauce.

There was too many.

Yeah, sure.

There were too many.

It's, if you get Burger King, which we like,

and you get the marinara cup, it tastes like that.

That's like, there's like too many.

That's a good point.

There's too many herbs.

Can I say something else too?

Like, that pizza was not brought to us fresh out the oven.

Absolutely not.

And that really bugged me.

Like, especially for a sit-down pizza place, I need that little bit of that cheese sizzle.

I need to sit, like, that thing got sat down in front of us and I was like, this feels like it was reheated.

Like, it didn't feel like it was

fresh out the oven.

Yeah.

Which, yeah,

I think they decided to bring both of our pizzas with us at the same, to us at the same time.

And the other one definitely takes longer to make.

And I think that that is

sat.

Yeah.

And I think the other one sat.

And on top of it.

It was honestly almost, it was almost room temp.

It was not warm at all.

I don't want to burn my mouth on cheese, but I want it to arrive at that like intensity.

You know, I'd have to take a second to cool.

I want the option to burn my mouth.

What degree Celsius are you talking about for what you want your pizza at?

I'll say like

wait, I get it.

It's Celsius.

What's the boiling water?

I'll say 91.

Yeah, I want like 200 degrees Celsius for my pizza.

I'm going to.

Yeah.

On fire?

Is that like the sun?

That's close to it.

Yeah, I just intently stare at the Canadian as the number comes out.

It was, not only was it,

did it seem like it was sitting around for a while, but we ordered dipping sauces and the dipping sauces kind of unceremoniously came out on top of the pizza.

Really weird presentation.

A ramekin on the pizza.

I mean, listen,

I've worked at a kitchen before.

I know where those ramekins go.

And you know what?

Did you work at a restaurant?

Oh, a long time ago.

Yeah.

What was what's okay?

Was it a chain or was it just a no, no?

It was a small private family restaurant.

Very still.

Thank you for your service.

Thank you for your service,

we'd like to say.

But yeah, like putting a ramekin on top of food is just, whoa,

I don't love that at all.

It was not a good move.

And also, I think we all avoided slices that had the ramekin on it.

One, we got a chipotle sauce, a garlic.

What was the garlic sauce?

Garlic sauce, and then a ranch.

And what was, what was the garlic?

It was garlic-something sauce, right?

I think it was a creamy garlic sauce.

I'll let you make the exact menu copy.

By the way, 200 degrees Celsius is 392 degrees Fahrenheit.

Pretty toasty.

Yeah.

So behind the contempt.

Yeah, yeah.

Emma, you you worked in restaurants.

Those ramekins are not something you want sitting on top of food.

They're often in like a big stack pile of them, and you just kind of grab one on top.

And the amount of times that I would go to grab a ramekin and the one underneath it was full of some sort of weird shit from the dish pit that was all over the bottom of the next one.

So then you just take both of them and like toss them and grab at the next one.

They're not, there's no way they're clean.

I would, when you said that, my face was like,

good,

good, good, good, good.

So yeah, smear it on the cheese, rub it in a little bit.

It was really, we took a picture of it.

It It was like when you picked it up, there was like an indent in the pizza, which also kind of sounds like that means it was sitting on top of the pizza for a while.

Yeah, it was like enough to like indent in.

By the way, we brought back pizza.

Don't eat the pizza with all the chipotle sauce on it.

That's the one the ramekin was uh sitting on.

We marked it, we marked it, it marked itself, maybe.

That pizza actually looks better in the

with the sauce on it versus the plain cheese.

Yeah, yeah, it looks nice in the box.

Here's here's the deal: We got another pizza.

The other pizza, which is the uh, the um

on the menu, it is called the NY Sicilian Square Footer.

And they have three different varietals.

We went with a buffalo chicken pizza.

Uh, this is a mozzarella, spicy buffalo chicken, and red onions.

And then they have some green onions, and then they just kind of Peter North some buffalo hot sauce and buttermilk ranch on top of it.

Um, and the, the, and it's a crispy garlic crust.

I, by the way, what?

I mean, you're disgusting for one.

People say I'm disgusting.

You are too.

There was something when we were that was so filthy, I didn't even repeat it in front of Emma, but we were in this train station.

So now you'll do it in front of Emma.

Now I'm going to do it all for the show.

We were in the train station, and Weiger was trying to get there was I missed it.

I wanted to know what this was.

Keep going.

It was a foot.

There was a foot lever to get some

hand sanitizer out.

And he was stepping on it and like nothing was happening.

It gave me like a little drizzle.

It gave him a little drizzle, and then I stepped on it, and it fucking shot out.

And it almost shot out.

It almost shot all over.

It almost shot all over.

Almost on your legs.

And then as we were walking away, Wager whispered to me, I got the pre-coming.

You got the load.

Fucking sick.

For the record, none of it touched me.

It all happened.

I felt so bad that I got your shoes or something.

It's hand sanitizer.

It's fine.

Well, and we also learned that Wager steps very daintily.

fucking life

fucking put your foot down yeah tiptoe through the tulips pal

i thought the square footer was great and if that was the only pizza we had i'd be like boston pizza might be all right you know yeah but that was the one style they did that

it's crazy to say that i maybe would say that's a home run

yeah it was Fucking good.

The corner pizzas, we each had a corner piece.

I thought that the corner pieces were in particular.

That crust was really nice.

feel like the

chicken, if you really dissect it, it probably wasn't good, but it worked well on the pizza.

And there was no tomato sauce, which helped the pizza.

They call it a New York Sicilian, but like, I think a lot of people would look at that and be like, that's a Detroit-style pizza.

That's what it looks like.

Yeah.

Or they call it a grandma pie.

Sure, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I'd love to go to New York and say, can I get a square footer?

Get the fuck out of here.

That'd be nice.

They would not like that.

Yeah.

Hey, can I get a square footer?

Fuck out of here, bro.

Just square footer right here.

There's a spider outside of the restaurant that Wagger stomped on and he put it.

Oh, you're a spider killer.

No, he lifted up his foot and the spider was fine.

Fucking light foot.

The spider flipped him off and walked away.

The spider looked up at him.

What the fuck was that?

He called me a pussy.

Yeah, I don't know.

What did you think of that pizza?

I thought it was the best thing that we had there.

Like I said, Detroit style kind of had a nice, very, very light for a like a

grandma's square piece.

I can be doughy and pretty heavy, but pretty light and had a nice little crunch to it, especially the corner pieces.

And it could have used more chicken.

That was my only

chicken was pretty sparse.

It was like a couple of little flecks here and there.

It was like a, you know, like, you know, when, when, when, like, somebody was trying to lose weight and they go to like the salad bar and all just a little bit of protein.

It was that kind of vibe, dude.

Right.

Yeah.

But me in like a month or two.

It happens on this.

It happens on this show every so often.

but yeah it was like a light it was not peter north on there as you see

which seems like it would hurt um

it's a lot of chicken to get out of there

all the ways to deliver chicken you know what i mean to a pizza

dear gosh

little chunks just

oh the buffalo sauce too wait a minute

but i will tell you you something that you could Peter North on there.

That little ramakin of ranch, which was good ranch, and it really added, it added to that.

I was pouring on the slice as we, as we went along.

That was,

if we didn't get the cheese pizza, which is, you need to try it, I would have been like, Boston pizzas,

maybe a,

maybe in the four forks.

Listen.

They should be a square pizza joint.

Yeah, just go in that direction.

They should just go in that direction.

They found something that works.

They found something that works.

They need need to get rid of the round pizza.

I mean, it's or get a new sauce.

They just need a new sauce.

I honestly am like, they need to go back to the drawing board on that sauce.

The sauce is not good.

Yeah.

It's not good.

The crust wasn't bad.

On that, on that pizza.

And you might be right.

Just turn it into, if that's working, turn it into a square pie place.

So

the thing we didn't get because

it was lunch and we're working is that none of us got the, what explored the boozy side, which is, it is a bar.

It does have bar service, and that is a big thing.

They had some like fun cocktails that were, it looked like they were being made.

Some fish bowls.

There was a fish bowl that I, my, Joe saw my eyes go to because I wanted it very bad.

It was actually quite amazing how quickly it was like radar.

Like, you didn't even look in that direction.

You're like, oh, there's a large amount of alcohol being poured into an unusual vessel.

What's going on over there?

Which is what I, I like tiki drinks.

We went to a tiki bar together.

You like tiki drinks, let me tell you.

I like, and we, and when I had some sort of sickness that needed hey, shout out to Kowloons, uh-huh.

Hell yeah.

Good Boston brothers there.

Have you been there?

No.

He's never been to Cowloons.

Next summer in Boston, we gotta go.

Wow,

Emma has been, of course.

How would you not?

Joe is on the wall in there.

Why?

Because we had a door in there.

Wow.

We gotta go.

So it's an insult to Joe that you haven't been.

But

I take this series.

We went to a, what was the name of the tiki bar?

Oh, shameful tiki.

Shameful tiki.

And it was great.

Is that Toronto Tiki?

Yeah, Toronto Tiki Bar.

And I had some sort of sickness that I was like, I think it was just the fog machines, which the fog machines, which means I really want to drink these drinks, guys.

Don't stop me.

I mean, that kind of is what it was.

And then I had to go on antibiotics the next day.

Luckily, no one got sick.

I was wearing a mask while I was filming because the next day I felt very sick.

Yeah, but anytime you mix like single malt whiskey with rum and cachaça and a cup five other alcohols and put it in a bill, it's going to kill anything that comes through that straw.

Yeah, that is also true, which is good because we got what was the fuck was the name of it?

The barrel of blood.

The Barrel of Blood.

And Joe and I and Tyler, one of our castmates, and who else?

Jono.

And Jono, we all were drinking on.

Oh, and Andre.

Oh, right.

Andre.

Andrews

dent.

I think he was, I think he was shit face.

Yeah.

By the time I was done.

But we were all sharing a giant drink together at the sticky bar.

I like.

I like a scorpion ball.

I like a big drink like that.

And the fishbowl looked fun.

But can we also say what time of day it was?

We saw these fish bowls rolling out.

It was like maybe 12.30 when we saw it.

So we're just, we're done with the.

Oh, wait, one up.

Sorry.

It was 1 p.m.

It was 1 p.m.

Okay, not much of material.

It's 1 p.m.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, that's adjusted to the human being.

1 p.m.

fishbowls of alcohol.

Can you imagine me being less funny on this episode?

Because that's what would have happened if I drank it.

I would have been, I would have been drunk.

That's pretty hard to do.

If you say that's possible, I'll believe you.

We should make a fishbowl someday on an episode and drink it, and we'll see how long it takes for the slurs to stop.

I love that.

She means drunkenness.

Yeah, she means

speech.

Be careful, it's a Boston Rock.

Well, unless we're in Boston, though, I don't know.

That fucking little Caesar mascot.

But the Damascus, they're the real problem.

Whoa.

Those Italians.

Do you have a favorite weapon of war?

We were talking about weapons.

Are they a favorite weapon of of war from like the classical era?

Like when the era of hoplites and immortals?

That spear.

Spears.

Yeah, yeah.

That's mean cool.

You can't go wrong with the spear.

I mean, like, if you really want to win a fight, just have a spear.

Like, it's just so hard to get around a large sharp pole.

Right, right, right.

That's true, yeah.

You know, it's the simple things in life, you know?

Do you have a favorite edged weapon in general?

You talked about that, that, that, that sword earlier.

Uh, I, like, I think the cavalry saber is probably my favorite edge.

You have a favorite edge weapon, and do you have a favorite thing to edge to?

double question

piss i know you like the hearing piss edge oddly enough him talking about edge weapons

uh but my favorite one of all time that one and i think everybody should have one is a blow gun oh

they are a joyful wonder let me tell you like you don't think until you get that you know you got to get yourself a little target get down there and you know you hear that first fit and then just the hit and you're just like oh i'm addicted i'm gonna do this all day so i mean yeah the blow guns become a big thing in fact if you partied at my house you got drunk i used to have little blow gun tests where i'd be like three bullseyes, otherwise, you give me your keys, you're not going home.

So you just see guys, like, oh, okay,

I'm going home, motherfucker.

You ain't telling me shit.

You have a functional blowgun.

Oh, absolutely.

Dude, I'm telling you, Prime, two days will be there in a heartbeat.

Isn't that, I'm afraid because I'm going to get this wrong, but it's like, there's that one island that like humans, like, they're, they've been New Guinea?

I think it is, right?

It's somewhere down there that they've just been cut off from oh, uh, yeah,

it was, oh, you know, it's an it's an island in India.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they've been cut off from

civilization forever.

And they've hacked apart like three or four guys that have tried to go out there and go like, hey, we come in peace, dude.

But I also think that they do have, I believe they have blow darts.

I hope so.

I mean, those things are so handy.

It's fucking wild if you think about it.

I mean, that's really crazy.

I mean, think about what a way to die.

You know, just a bunch of poison darts.

To get hit with a poison fucking dart is insane.

That's insane to me.

You should have, you sure you shouldn't have a podcast about anthropology.

just stuff you kind of remember,

little Caesar guy one week.

We should get to our fork score for Boston Pizza.

So, Joe, you did the podcast before, but just a reminder, we will say a closing argument, if you will, some final thoughts on this chain, and then give it a score from zero to five forks.

We begin with our guest.

We'll begin with you.

I think Boston Pizza is a chain and a bit of an identity crisis.

Not sure whether it wants to be a sports bar, that's sort of delicious bar food or a traditional pizza parlor.

I think they're losing on the traditional pizza parlor front.

So I think if they embraced their square pie, I think if they went with what was good on their menu, eliminated a lot of the chaff, they'd probably get a better score, which stands at a solid three forks.

Wow, three forks.

I think that's a good score.

You want to go?

Also, this reminds me of the when we had you on previously, we did, I think we did Taco Bell 8 or whatever the fuck.

And yeah, same thing.

Just like you're, you going into food reviewer mode.

It's just like really something to witness.

Once again, I just like to be prepared

as I'm texting.

I am texting notes about the show.

Okay.

I'll go.

I'll go.

You want to go on?

I can do this.

Okay.

Joe cuts promos.

He's good at it.

We're bad at it.

Yeah, I know.

Boston Pizza.

couldn't even say boston pizza

boston pizza

i want to have some sort of feeling for it because it's called boston pizza but then why because i found out from you and i haven't listened to your intro just from us talking to each other yes that um there is no affiliation with boston it just is a name that he said i don't know boston pizza um that kind of bums me out a little bit but i still love boston i I love the city of Boston.

I like that it's called Boston Pizza.

I

want to like a place like this, it just is so kind of down the middle of the road.

The cheese pizza really brought the score down.

Oh, yeah, because then I was just like, oh, so this is the base for every pizza here.

What we got is kind of a special pizza, but wages, I'll say this: that Buffalo chicken pizza, Wags, is a four-fork pizza.

Yeah, right, good pizza, Close to a four-fork pizza, at least.

It's good.

In consideration.

For what it is, it's good.

And I feel like that's like a, it feels like a fun place where you could watch the, you know, the UFC fight or something that they were promoting on the.

Why are you pointing at me?

Like, I don't want a little super chat over here.

Well, I can't point to him.

It's a boy, a place where you could come and watch a Baldur's Gate

stream, I guess.

I'm listening.

Oh, hey.

it's it does it i i i like the pizza parlor vibe i i i just when you when your sauce is that bad i just don't know what to do i think i'm gonna go hand holding club wise i think it's a three forker right uh right right down the middle wow i don't think honestly this is our experience i think people have had boston pizza and don't like it um

but our experience today was decent it wasn't bad it wasn't a bad time i've had pizza pizza and i actually did like pizza pizza

just their regular cheese pizza more.

Mars is making a face.

It's like she's, it's, but I feel like you don't have any actual loyalties to either of these.

No, I haven't been to Boston Pizza in like over a decade, so I can't give any review, but pizza pizza just tastes like cardboard to me and I don't recommend it to anyone.

Yeah.

I, I was at the CNE and I had a mozzarella hot dog.

This is the, the, the Canadian National Expo, the X, they call it.

This is like kind of like a equivalent of a state fair.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I ate a, uh, basically a big mozzarella stick in a bun with pepperonis on the side of it with marinara sauce on top.

Dude, you must have peed forever after that one.

I was peeing the next few days.

You know what?

I couldn't pee.

It was,

I was like, oh, I like this.

This is kind of fun.

And then I had the pizza and reminded me of old dominoes.

And this kind of evoked old dominoes or old Pizza Hut in a way, but the sauce is just bad.

It's a downright downright bad sauce right down the middle.

Three-forker.

Mitch, I wonder if you'll adjust your score after this.

May 29th, 2011.

Some Vancouver Canucks fans joined that if their team met the Boston Bruins in the Stanley Cup final, they would boycott Boston Pizza simply because of the name.

The Canadian restaurant never gave them the chance.

Within 15 minutes of the Bruins advancing to the final, Boston Pizza updated its website and became Vancouver Pizza.

A Canucks logo appeared along with a message that said, proud fans.

New signage has been ordered for all of the franchise's BC restaurants, along with stickers for the pizza boxes.

The Vancouver Pizza name will remain the length of the series.

It's not the first time the restaurant has tried such a gimmick.

They did it with the Montreal Canadiens earlier.

They have no loyalty to Boston.

They have no ally to that city.

They fuck this place.

On behalf of all New England, fuck this.

These sons of bitches will not get away with this heresy.

I fucking agree.

They'll happily take the Boston branding when it's convenient to them, but they'll flip it at the drop of a hat to pander to Canadians.

Judas's wives.

Yeah.

Anyway, I agree with the Three Forks consensus, honestly.

It's like this was like a pretty, like, I'd call this a pretty boring Doughboys meal.

We went in there and we were like, you know what?

Great company, great food.

Great company had a good time.

But as far as the food is concerned, a lot of this was just kind of down the middle.

Even the cheese pizza wasn't terrible.

It was just kind of disappointing.

I drank three dipepsis, which does explain my long pee.

Oh, yeah, but there you go.

That'll do.

That did it.

We do.

We did, though.

We did it and have the thing that I've had this experience like four separate times up here, and I keep forgetting that when you order an iced tea in Canada, you get a sweetened iced tea.

Oh, yes.

I was expecting it on sweetened iced tea, and then we get this thing just loaded with artificial lemon flavor and sugar.

Look, if you drive to the hammer.

Cowabunga pizza, fantastic.

I'm sure.

North of Brooklyn pizzeria we had, fantastic.

I love north of Brooklyn.

And there's this other pizza spot we can't even get into.

Pizza Ria Bagiali.

We can't even get in there.

Wow.

Yeah.

Too hot of a ticket.

it's it's there's a line every time like down like down the block wow yeah but there were and there was even more great pizza spots up in up in the hammer that we didn't even have but so it's kind of a bummer in a food that toronto has great food pizza and pizza is your favorite food pizza but if you have like a not great version of it i'm sure is always a little disappointing north of brooklyn was is great yeah i love north of brooklyn you haven't had being able to get it yet but you should try it it's but that's in the city yeah okay uh we might we might try to hit lee restaurant tonight maybe we'll see what happens wow okay.

Yeah.

It's great.

Yep.

Love all that.

We're in the hand-holding club here.

Three forks all around, right down the middle for Boston.

And why would you ever go to Boston Pizza if you're in Toronto?

It makes there's good pizza to be had here.

And I think some people say that's the newer thing, but pizzeria bodgelli has been around for a while.

We haven't had it yet, but supposedly that's really good.

I mean, the reason to go is because it's open until like midnight or whatever.

You know, it's like it's, it's because it's, it's, it's a great late night option and because it's got a lot of TVs and it's got alcohol, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

Three forks all around for Boston Pizza.

It's time for a segment.

We've got a food stuff.

We're going to decide if you should put it in your mouth.

It's Snacker Whack.

And we have, I believe, some Maynard's gummies.

Is that correct?

Yeah, in that cubby right there.

Pull these out.

Oh, Maynard.

Next one.

Maynard.

Is Maynard a guy?

Maynard's Maynard's from Two Gummies.

Right.

He's the guy from the lead singer from Two Gummies.

Maynard James Keenan.

We've got two varietals here.

We've got Fuzzy Peach and we've got Swedish Berries.

Now, I'm going to come into these with a little.

By the way, these both sound like

sexual things, like some dirty guy at a bar would say in the 1920s.

You got some real Swedish berries on it.

Take my best gal to the box social.

They don't hear the old fuzzy peach.

Let me open these up.

Now, here's the thing.

I'm trying not to get these

crinkling too close to the microphone for people with mesophonia.

I have a fake.

It's real.

Mesophonia is real, as we've been reminded.

The thing is that I've said before,

that gummy ain't yummy.

I'm coming to that.

That's just my personal thing.

I don't really love the gummy textures for candies, but I'm coming to these with an open mind because I've heard some really good things about the Maynards.

Marsh, do you like the Maynards at all?

I do.

I had no idea they were Canadian, but the Fuzzy Peaches were some of my favorite Halloween candy to get as a kid.

Oh, wow.

Particularly the Fuzzy Peaches.

Do you have any other flavors of note?

No, Swedish Berry is good too.

I think the Fuzzy Peaches are like a little bit sour, and I just, I like a little sour gummy.

Okay.

Yeah, look I'll try to get some additional context on Maynard's real quick.

I'm reading the Wikipedia and it says that they were a British confectionery manufacturer that was purchased by Cadbury in the 90s.

So they maybe aren't Canadian, but you can't get these in the States.

You know what's interesting is that so many of the beloved

Canadian candies are

like from the UK and then there's the there's weird rules or in some cases like an actual like legal agreement that has been struck between Hershey's and other chocolatiers to prevent them from being imported in the U.S.

So you can't even get them.

Kit Kat embargo.

Kit Kat bar.

Yeah, yeah.

It's a real thing.

It's a real thing.

All right, I'm going to try some of these fuzzy peaches.

I got a fucked up fuzzy peach here.

Joe, know what I'm realizing.

Our,

the, the, the, uh, what's it called?

The catering on our show.

gives us they do the fuzzy peaches yep they're in our wives we get they they come around with like little cups of of uh gummies, like sour gummies.

And I think the fuzzy peaches are in there.

They are in there.

And you know what?

Stephanie mentioned on stage the other night that the Maynard's wine gums are really good, which I did not

grab, but apparently those are pretty popular.

And you saw them and you said they looked horrible.

Well, I heard, Amelia and I saw wine gums at the store, and we were like, so like gummies that taste like wine, that sounds fucking gross.

So we didn't get it, but apparently they're pretty good.

Mars, do you know the wine gums?

A little bit.

We didn't really get it too much on Halloween, which is how I know most of my games.

Right, right.

I think they're, I think they're pretty good.

I love these, though.

These are great.

Yeah, I will say that, again, just with someone who doesn't usually love gummy, these are pretty delicious.

Yeah, I actually like those quite a bit.

The sweetest berries I like too, but they are harder to eat.

They're like, they're getting stuck in my teeth.

I love these fuzzy peaches.

I love peach rings, and that reminds me of that.

It's very peach.

It's like almost like a stout buff from a peach ring.

It's having a little bit more sour on it than the peach ring.

Yeah.

This happened on set too.

They were like,

they were like, do you have sour keys?

And I was like, are you saying, I thought they were Jenny or the makeup lady was saying, who works in the makeup department, the makeup lady.

I sound like a child.

Jenny, who works in the makeup department.

Old lady makeup.

She was talking to the director man.

All right, I fucked up.

But she was like, have you?

And I thought she was saying sour Keides.

I was like, is she saying Sour Patch Kids weird?

Saying Sour keys?

And she was like, no, sour keys.

You know, sour keys.

And I don't know sour keys.

I guess that is a Canadian thing.

Mars is nodding.

She knows.

Yeah, it's like a key-shaped gummy that's much more sour than the current fuzzy keys.

And that's, and you can get them in like bulk, basically, too.

But, but I, I, I did not know.

And I had some sour keys pretty decent.

I mean, sour patch kids are.

are goaded gummies, I would say, but the sour keys were were decent.

And these are wise, you know, you've had, I love the, the watermelon sour patch kids yeah and these fuzzy peaches kind of you know close to that i don't know i'm not feeling the sweetish berries i don't love them yeah these taste like uh like trueable cough medicine

they're very medicine-y that comparison

it's too close because

it's pretty small sweet cherry lozenges lately yeah

they're just hard to eat yeah yeah this is this is the thing is just like i think the form factor so for audio listeners it's kind of like more of a like a disc sort of shape um

kind of like the shape of a of the the planet we live on is kind of like how the uh the peach ones are and then yeah kind of just totally flat

and then the uh thank god somebody else believes

and then it's more of a it's more of a mountain or like a thimble uh for the the

the swedish berries and so that that just make is a lot more gummy to just chew through it really gets smashed in your molars i don't i found this pretty unpleasant to eat but this one I like quite a bit.

I'd say one, one snack, one whack, a definite snack for the fuzzy peach and a whack for the sweetie.

I'd say definite snack for the fuzzy peach, but I would say a light snack for the other one.

You still like it.

No, I'm saying snack and whack on the berries.

I'm aware do you stand?

Definite snack on the peach.

I'm probably going to get a bag of those to bring home.

I don't mind the berry.

It's not bad.

I don't know that I would pick it myself, but if that was all that was there, I'd probably still eat them.

They're not bad.

They do stick to my teeth more than the peach does, which I don't love.

Snack and whack for you.

Yeah.

that's about all that's all I have time for when I get home from shooting.

All right, here we go.

There's one more thing.

Well, it's a little treat.

Oh, right.

First of all, there's a fun napkin that says, Doughboys podcast, please don't eat.

Thank you, which I loved.

That's Amelia making sure that the food we left here for the past few days didn't get taken.

Oh, I thought that was a note from the studio to us for their food.

No, the guy was just wearing that.

He was afraid we're going to fucking swallow him whole.

Hey, Spoonman and Doughboys crew.

I got these lollipops from the San Diego Comic-Con.

Hope they satisfy your sweet tooth.

Wow.

Thanks for all the laughs.

Love Becker at Becker Inc.,

B-E-C-K-E-R-I-N-K

on the Dosecord.

Wow.

Thanks, Becker.

So here we go.

There's two of them.

And Joe and Wager,

you're going to lick one side each, like you said, Joe.

Do me a favor and take a picture of that real quick when you open it.

Of course, also, I just realized that these

Swedish berries kind of remind me of, you know, dots, the candy dots.

That's kind of the texture of them, the way they like stick to your molars, and you can't get it off.

That's what's reminding me.

Oh, you mean the Halloween candy you got from the shitty house?

Yeah.

So these are really cool lollipops yeah can you can you get one on the hold one up to camera mitch

mars is gonna zoom in here they're beautiful

yeah that's really cool looking and this this was a twisted was this was a twisted metal promotion was that at this year's comic-con i believe so wow

so here we go are lollipops good

There's a question for you.

Are lollipops good?

Mitch, I think you just cracked a Doughboys double topic.

Are lollipops good?

Are lollipops good?

Joe, you'll come back for that, right?

Can't wait.

No, we record quarreled right after this if you want.

Definitely clearance cutting for that.

Let's see.

Wrestle in front of like 100, like 200,000 people live or

come on, doughboys, and lick a lollipop.

Are you having?

Are we not able to get these open?

We're trying not to shatter

lollipop.

But yeah, these things are locked up tiredly.

We can stop for a second to open if we want.

Is it worth it?

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, listen, this is far more entertaining than anything we're going to say.

all right we got them open we got our lollies open thanks emma thanks

and here we are really is like babysitting

see us on set

you know what i'll say this sweet tooth and stew they always know They can put us last and we'll knock it out of the park.

Yes, that's what we do.

They're like, we got 10 minutes left.

Let's put sweet tooth and stew in there.

And you know what?

We fucking.

Yeah, in that 10 minutes, we make some magic, bud.

We definitely do, wags.

Wow.

Yeah, we just say this we feel better about our shitty shooting schedule.

Here we go.

I'm taking a picture.

Mitch is getting some pics.

Wags are in the background.

Oh, it's focused on wages.

Here, go ahead.

You can give your thumbs up again.

All right, here we go.

A little taste of these lollipops.

All right, Mitch and Joe are giving this some

licks.

Pretty good.

Is it cotton candy?

I think it's strawberry cotton candy.

Oh, fun.

That is a good lolly.

Wow, okay.

That is a good lolly.

Cancel the Dough Boys Double episode.

We cracked it.

That's a delicious lollipop.

Yeah.

Lollipops are good.

You don't have to come back.

All right.

Ooh, got that one out of the way.

Snack.

That's a snack.

That's a snack.

Thank you very much.

This is lovely.

Does it feel odd at all to, even though it's a cartoon version of to be eating something with your own head on it?

Actually, kind of a dream of mine.

So I'm moving by.

I mean, if I can consume a bowl of meat every day,

just like a restaurant volunteer feedback, let's open up the feedback.

Today has, we have an email from Steve S.

Steve writes, with the release of AW's Ruffle Teen Burger,

I had, by the way, I had the ANW Canada Crunch Buddy Burger, which is the equivalent of

the Teen Crunch Burger, which has sour cream and cheddar ruffles on it.

And it was delightful.

What fast food entree or sandwich would be best plussed up with a snack food, e.g.

Doritos Locos Tacos

or Mount Rushmore of Canadian Prime Ministers?

Thanks.

Love the show.

I think we'll go with the first one because the first one, I think, is a little bit more on topic.

Unless you want to talk.

Yeah.

The second question or is a second option everyone doing our Mount Rushmore of Canadian Prime Ministers.

Yeah, let's stick with the

guy who was kind of crazy?

Was he

a prime minister?

He's the mayor of the city.

Oh, he's the mayor.

His brother is now, right?

Isn't his brother?

Ford.

Yeah, Rob Ford.

Robert Ford.

Yeah.

So he can't go on the prime minister thing.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I mean, he could.

Let's put both Ford brothers up there.

Yeah.

And then True Brother.

And then twice.

And then, yeah.

Put the Ford brothers up there twice.

Yeah, great.

We're done.

Okay.

This is one of those things because we see this all the time now.

Taco Bell has been doing what the Cheez-It now.

They have, and they put the Fritos in the taco at a certain point,

or the burrito at a certain point.

I think that that menu item has been discontinued.

Is there a specific snack food that has not yet been explored that we'd like to see in some fast food menu item?

I mean, look, I feel like funnions could add some texture to something.

I feel like if you do like a funy, like, this is the thing that I feel like.

I got it.

I got it.

Go for it.

We'll go.

We'll say what you want.

I was going to say if you did like a funyun-crusted like chicken, like if you did something like that, like I feel like that's like the next frontier is like, we're going to find out a way to use these snack foods in a way where, like, in the Dritos Locos, we're just using the Dritos Locos powder on the shell.

If we're like, okay, we're going to take a, we're going to crumple up, like, cheese it or something, although that's already been done, and then use that to like batter, you know,

Popeye's chicken wing and see what that's like.

About like a salt and vinegar chip, yeah, hey, that's not bad at all, or

pickle chips, which is kind of good on like a fried chicken.

Yeah, those Miss Vicky's uh hot pickle chips, those are not bad.

Is this changing tastes?

It is, man.

That's kind of weird.

It's like not strawberry.

Why is my vision getting all blurry?

Is the pink side strawberry and the other?

You're like there, man, but you're not there.

We're drugging you, making you do another episode.

Yeah, it is definitely changing tastes.

Funions, you know what you could do?

Put those bad boys over a hot dog.

That's a lot of fun.

Yeah.

Perfect.

It fits perfectly.

It's fun.

It's fun.

How about this?

Taki Bel Grande.

Oh, I love that.

It works so well.

That's great.

That works fantastically.

Yeah.

That is not invented by me accidentally dropping a soft taco on a bunch of Takis, I promise.

Also,

that's like a strong crunch, which I think people would love to appreciate, which they did for a while.

Taco Belt had Fritos in their burritos.

Yes.

Yeah, I mentioned that.

Yeah, and I don't remember when that got discontinued, but it was pretty recently.

That sounded Seinfeldian.

What?

Fritos and the the burritos uh it did

it didn't sound seinfeldian uh but um

i like talkies i and i like the coating of it but i think salt and vinegar and i'm trying to think what it would be like when i was at the x yeah there was a place that did and i wish i remember the name of it i will remember it at some point but there was a place that did uh Cocoa Krispie battered chicken tenders.

Oh, that's fun.

Yeah.

And I'm like, would it be good to batter, would it like to use the salt and vinegar chips as batter?

You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah.

That could work well.

Or I think like pickle chips, because it would almost give you like the taste of a pickle on your sandwich in a way.

So it might be a good combo.

You know what I'd like to see more of is like, I like, I feel like Nilla wafers are such a great cookie and we see Oreos and everything, but like throw some Nilla wafers in something, you know?

Like how long, why are we seeing like a Nilla wafer shake on like a bunch of different menus?

You know, use them in banana pudding.

They use a banana pudding.

So like a wafer banana shake?

There you go.

There you you go.

That feels like a natural fit for like a Johnny Rockets or a Five Guys or something.

I don't know.

Is us looking our lollies distracting?

No, it's great.

How about now?

Nothing?

No, no, no.

It's good.

How about me?

Yeah, yeah.

Locked.

No, stare me in the eyes while I'm doing that.

Bars, you get a snack food that you like, like a particular one, like one that you just like like have often?

Do you have like a go-to?

Is there something like a Cheez-It or like a like a ruffles, like something that you have frequently?

Or are you not much of a snacker?

Uh, no, I like to go for like a dry, I only eat snacks when I'm gaming, and so I need something that's not too cheesy, something that will leave my fingers clean.

Yeah, and so usually that's like a wafer snack, like a Japanese wafer snack is what I eat.

Oh, okay, wait, what, what specifically?

Uh, I have no idea.

I get it from like the Galleria

Korean grocery store?

Yeah, the Korean grocery store, um, and there's just like these like kind of like uh almost like a Belgian waffle little cracker snack, and they're very good too.

You're just playing like Overwatch 2, Overwatch 2, yeah.

Well, I got one all-dressed calamari.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

That sounds delightful.

I love it.

I love it.

All-dressed.

I like all-dressed chips quite a bit.

I don't know what's in that lolly, but it's working.

I know.

I'm feeling food smart about the list.

Also, three gamers right here.

How about that?

Mitch, you're excluding yourself from this because you're trying to say a lapsed gamer, but I think you're going to get back on the horse.

I think you're going to have a little bit more time.

You have some stuff to play.

Yeah.

Listen, you need to stop writing that screenplay and just start playing video games.

Stay on one side of the camera, kid.

If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave a voicemail at 830 go to.

That's 830-463-6844.

And to get the Doughboys Double Our Weekly Bonus Episode, plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog, subscribe at patreon.com slash Doughboys.

Our producers producer is Emma Erdbrinker.

Associate producers, Amelia Marino.

Special thanks to super producer Mars for helping us out.

Marissa Melnick up here in Canada.

Our engineer is Casey Donahue, and our video editor is Mike Dorfman.

Wait, I never said, sorry, Mike Dorfman.

I didn't mean to cut off the credits.

Yeah.

I never said saluto to oh, you meant to do that up top.

Nation Collier.

I don't know.

I'm, I shouldn't have said it in front of me.

Joe Mike's going to cut you out of the episode, so that's awesome.

Sorry, Mike.

Sorry.

Samoa, Joe, Twisted Metal is on Peacock.

All our listeners, if you haven't watched Twisted Metal yet, I know a lot of you have, but check it out.

It's on Peacock.

If you don't Peacock,

sign up for a free trial and then just watch the season because that's the sort of thing, the way these networks work,

they're looking for that in their metrics of like...

Stay subscribed.

Yeah, you signed up to this thing and you stayed subscribed.

And the reason you subscribed is for me.

It's a shame if you missed the premiere of season two by a minute.

But it's a great way to support to support Mitch here.

But congratulations on the show.

It's really great.

I really enjoyed watching it.

Looking forward to

this being a thing.

Yeah.

You know,

you know, something's happening here.

What's going on?

Something's going down.

And I'm liking some of it.

Not all of it, but some of it.

Joe, do you have anything you'd like to promote?

No, I don't, but I'm sure I will at some point.

There you go.

AEW's Twisted Metal Season 1, the Yakuza game coming out soon.

I mean, you're a superstar.

You're in a million stops.

Yeah, all that stuff.

Check it all out.

Thanks so much for being here.

Yeah, I appreciate it.

Appreciate being here with you.

Thank you.

Sorry.

And sorry.

And sorry.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Most of all, sorry.

Well, hey, listen, you know, apologies, apologies.

That'll do it for this episode of Doughboys.

Until next time for the Spoon Med McMitchell, I'm Nick Weiger.

Happy eating, eh?

See ya.

Hey, buddy, it's Weiger.

I'm back because I forgot to add in a plug of my own.

Check out something I'm very excited about, very passionate about.

Megalopolis in Theaters Now by director Francis Ford Coppola.

What's crazy about this film is it features a character portrayed by Aubrey Plaza named Wow Platinum.

Now, here in the Doughboys podcast, we say Wow all the time, and the highest honor you can receive is to get five forks all around and enter the Platinum Play Club.

So, Wow Platinum to me, that reads as a reference to the Doughboys, which makes me think that Francis Ford Coppola listens to Doughboys.

And hey, that makes a lot of sense because we're a Coppola goofball.

This is what you made us stay late for on the last night, you piece of shit.

Bye.

See ya.

Hey, buddy, want Doughboys merch?

We're talking hats, shirts, sweatshirts, patches, glasses, all sorts of stuff, aprons.

It's all available at kinshipgoods.com/slash Doughboys.

That's kinshipgoods.com/slash Doughboys.

Sources for the intro are in the episode description.

That was a hit gum podcast.