Crock-Dough-Burn-Pho-Est: Panera 4 with Jason Concepcion

This is a Hidgum podcast.

Want to watch this episode?

Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com/slash Doughboys Media.

I'm right about a lot of things that people have zero clue that they even know is going on.

Oh, okay.

HBO Max presents a new comedy series, The Chair Company.

You've been distracted, Ron.

I feel like you're hiding something.

There's so much badness in this world.

From the creators of I Think You Should Leave.

People are nuts out there.

Starring Tim Robinson.

Oh my god, you're disgusting.

These are my work clothes.

The HBO original series, The Chair Company, premieres this Sunday at 10 p.m.

on HBO Max.

At Grocery Outlet, we are turning up the cheer with your chance to win free groceries for a year.

That's $6,000 in Grocery Outlet gift cards.

From October through December, one lucky winner will score the grand prize each month.

Plus, four more monthly winners get a $500 gift card.

Make your holiday shopping pay off.

Download the Grocery Outlet Outlet app and scan your wow card every time you shop for your chance to win free groceries for a year.

No purchase necessary, one entry per day.

Restriction supply.

Visit groceryoutlet.com for details.

Grocery Outlet Bargain Market.

On September 10th, 2022, a 21-year-old University of Pennsylvania student with an existing heart condition went into cardiac arrest and died after drinking a chain restaurant's then-new charged lemonade, the victim consuming the beverage without knowing its extremely high caffeine content.

On October 9th, 2023, a 46-year-old grocery worker with an intellectual disability passed away while walking home after also consuming a charged lemonade.

Family members speculated that he, too, was unaware of its hypercaffeinated essence.

The tragic deaths were the subject of two of four lawsuits claiming serious health complications from the caffeine citrus blend, filed against a bakery chain founded as St.

Louis Bread Company in 1987 and still using that name in the greater St.

Louis area.

One victim's family's lawyer noted in their filing that charged lemonades, quote, 390 milligrams of caffeine is higher than the caffeine content of standard cans of Red Bull and Monster Energy drinks combined, end quote.

This factor was exacerbated by the chain's unlimited sip club promotion, which led to consumers drinking refills of the potent concoction, three charged lemonades having roughly the caffeine content of 12 cups of coffee.

Publicly shamed by the scandal, the chain sprang into action, 18 months later, later, finally discontinuing the lethal lemonade in May of 2024.

But drinks are not in the purview of this particular review.

Rather, the liquids being surveyed here are not cold and strawed, but instead hot and spooned.

Though hopefully, none of them have a secretly sneaky high caffeine content.

This week on Doughboys, we continue Croc Dough Burn Fa S twenty twenty five, a supersized month of bisques, broths, stews, and stocks, and crocs, with a soups of Panera.

Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, Nacho Libra, the spoon man, Mike Mitchell.

Hey, okay.

How about that?

Wow.

Is today my birthday?

No, this, no.

I meant in the recall.

Oh, yeah, it's on a monday anyway yeah i was like are episodes this coming monday i didn't know if it was lining up you know no the answer is no you thought about it for one second thought about when we released episodes but happy birthday oh thanks uh wow after many years of listening happy birthday

yeah

i had soup between my fingers

oh man wow yeah a little soup between my little soup surprise between my fingers was that from the pre-show meal or was that just there that was that was from the meal Okay, got it.

Wow.

Welcome

to Croc Doe Burn Foest.

That's right.

Croc Doe Burn Foes 2025 continues here on the podcast, a super sized month of bisques, broths, stews, and stocks, and Crocs.

Yeah.

My mom is calling me for the third time.

Do you want to go pick up?

Pick up.

Mom?

Hey, Ma?

It's a butt dial.

Ah,

hearing anything good.

She's talking trash.

She's making up with some dude.

Oh, no.

Fuck, Ma.

Oh, Kowalik.

Sounds like Donkey Kong's making out with Koala.

Oh, Kowalik.

No, I didn't.

She was nothing was going on.

She was watching the Red Sox game, which is happening.

Wow, how about that?

To show what I give to this podcast

every week.

Wow, after many years of listening, like nine, I guess, I thought Weiger would be a glasses guy according to his voice.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, but he sounds like a glasses guy.

It's a very good thing, actually.

Okay.

Good day.

Doctor, not a doctor, Casey J, roasted birdfock.com.

I was a glasses guy, and then I got LASIK.

So was I.

You and I, you and I both.

Yeah, but you did not, you did not get LASIC.

No, my eyes corrected themselves after I stopped wearing

contact lenses.

This is actually, this is the truth.

I, I was, when I was younger, Nick knows this.

I've said this on the podcast before, but they thought that I, they thought I was developmentally challenged when I was younger.

I couldn't read the board.

I couldn't read the board And I was very, I held the book very close to my face.

So like, and, and they were like, we have to put him in

special classes.

And my mom, and then another teacher was like, he might have a vision problem.

And then it was the truth.

I was, I was almost blind.

It's wild.

I had no idea.

What's that?

It's wild.

That wasn't the first thought.

Yes.

Well, I mean, this is the 80s, too.

Like, I'm, I'm lucky that there was a teacher that said that.

Right.

That even thought that, basically.

But, but how many problem, like children who are like considered like behavioral problems or like held back back in school were just like untreated vision problems?

Probably a lot of them.

And so I went to, so I got, I wore an eye patch over my eye for a full year

because I had lazy eye.

Yeah, so did my dad.

My dad.

Oh, no way.

You're going to make some jokes about lazy.

Yeah, I knew that.

Yeah, and the laziness migrated the rest of your body.

Yeah,

we've done it.

We've talked about this.

We've talked about this before.

But then they were like, your vision will correct itself over time and then it will go back the other way.

Whoa.

Like a bent, like a sort of a Benjamin Button sort of thing.

How about that?

Yeah, yeah, meet you in the middle.

Yep, yep.

And that's that.

There you go.

Your baseball Grinch.

The baseball Grinch won't let me watch.

How am I a baseball Grinch?

No, no, no.

I'm just trying to give you a hard fucking time.

Put it on the second screen.

I don't care.

Yeah, put it on up there, huh?

Let's put it.

Yeah, we'll log into my, we'll log into my direct TV account.

We'll watch it up there.

That'll be seamless.

Mitch, I want to give a quick shout out to a book that we are featured in, 101 podcast that changed how we listen by Sean Malin.

Congrats to Sean on the book.

And get this wherever you

find books.

And then right inside, you can find a little section on the Doughboys themselves.

So how about that?

Under podcasts that let people know the trend was over.

Yeah, it's the Hall of Shame sort of chapter.

So

a lot of fun.

It says our influences listed as Late Night with Conan O'Brien, The Simpsons, Adam Sandler, The Cone Brothers, Jesse Thorne, and Bill Simmons.

Wow.

How about that?

little Simmons shout out.

Is that your copy?

Uh, no, this is just here.

Do you want it?

Yeah, give me.

I'm stealing it.

Yeah.

Sorry, head gum.

Uh, Mitch, uh, I know you got a drop to play.

I'm gonna hit him with a drop.

I wish Hawk Grunty was real.

Why?

Because I want to see some nasty grunty pics.

I want to see Hawk Grunty.

It's all for me.

Kill myself.

For the game over screen,

Mitch and Whitey fell in love at first glance.

Hot Grunty.

Hot Grunty.

Oh.

That's her.

One look at Hot Grunty.

You're done for.

I like how you knew her sound in the game.

I know when she's hot grunty.

We're going to get DC.

Yeah, I had the same sound.

I guess we'll find out.

Maybe it was a karaoke track.

Yeah, maybe.

Or if not.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, YouTube.

Yeah, we'll see.

DK usually tests them on YouTube before he sends them.

Okay.

It should be okay.

Might have been recreated from scratch.

DK's in the lab checking it out.

All right.

Hi, Dofam.

Shout out to Cram in the Dose Chord for the free drop idea and Hule Hauser slash Shifty, also both in the Dose Chord for the Lyrical Collab.

Wow.

Hope the drop doesn't get Mitch too hot and grunty.

Cheers.

Thomas, LaTen Tickles in the Dose Chord.

Ah.

Nice little tribute.

Yeah, what a crew of Dose Corder.

To hot Grunty from Banjo-Kazooie.

Yes.

Which is very attractive.

If you fail Banjo-Kazooie, that then ultimately is that you get hot grants.

And we were failing.

Look,

people don't like that I do Rule 34, so I'm not going to do it.

No, don't do it.

I'm not going to do it.

But I did look up Hot Grunty on Rule 34, and it was great.

I put it up on the second screen.

We should shout out behind the dais today, being subjected to our bullshit along with Emma and Amile, is Emma's sister Haley.

Hi, Haley.

Thanks for being here.

Hi.

Happy to be here.

In town on work,

just happened to hang out.

What a waste of your time.

We're so sorry.

Yeah, we're sorry.

Jemmy's stoked.

There was a video that Haley showed of

Jemmy reacting to your unexpected presence, and it was so dark.

Was she going crazy?

Oh, yeah, making gremlin noises.

Noises I don't think I've ever heard her make.

She lost her mind.

Jemmy was a gremlin.

All right.

Getting a little nervous sitting next to her.

If Jemmy was a gremlin, I'd be pouring water all over.

I'd want multiple Jemmies.

Oh, my God.

Would they be bad?

Yeah, some of them are going to be a good idea.

And only if you feed them after midnight.

Oh, right.

That's true.

Yeah.

Chops at birdfuck.com.

Our guest returning to the podcast.

Very excited to have him back.

Co-host the X-Ray Vision podcast and the official Game of Thrones podcast.

Jason Goncepsion is here.

Hi, Jason.

Hey, thank you for having me.

Thanks so much for being here.

Thank you for being here.

Oh, my God.

What a treat.

It's been a while.

I think the last time we had you on, we were talking about Mr.

Beast Burger during the pandemic.

That's right.

Which was a real, real gnarly meal.

He was so sorry.

Mr.

Beast also trying to be.

There were a lot of people who, like, who from people back home were like, Mr.

Beast Burger is good.

I was like, No, it's not.

What are you talking about?

That's how I feel too.

I'm with you.

Who are these people back home?

Shieldsy said it.

Oh, Shieldsy said it.

Okay.

Shieldsy.

Great.

But it was, it was.

Heard Shieldsy say a lot of things.

Yes.

Look,

not repeat on the podcast.

Yes, yes, yes.

We love him.

We love him.

We love him.

We do.

He's a very great guy.

He's a great guy.

A fun hang.

But

yes.

Also, by the way, baseball Grinch, you're up against the clock here.

That's right.

You're going to the Dodgers game.

That's right.

So

and we have, we, we talk too much bullshit.

Even right now.

No, it's, it's fine.

It's fine.

Don't think about it.

Don't worry about it.

I'm going to think about baseball Grinch doesn't care.

He wants you to miss the game.

It's true.

I can see it in his eyes.

Wait, no, never.

The malevolence, that kind of twinkle, the evil, cold twinkle that he has, and that big open-mouth smile.

I could see he's like swallowing up all my dreams of seeing the Dodgers.

But it's fine.

It's fine.

It's just go at your own pace.

I feel like his heart would grow three times its size if you gave him a Dodger's dog or something.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Are you kidding me?

When's the last time you went to Dodgers Stadium?

It's been a while.

I mean,

I did go.

I mean, I went to a game in recent years, but it's done a little bit.

You know, I haven't seen Otani yet, which is

what I really want to see.

What?

I know.

I mean, mean, it's only been there a couple seasons, right?

It's been three seasons.

Three seasons.

Okay.

So, yeah, I need to get back there.

But yeah,

it's been since pre-Otani.

But I like Dodger Stadium and I like

pre-COVID, I'm guessing, right?

Honestly.

But I'm like, I'm

a great stadium in terms of eats.

Do you have any go-to eats when you're there?

I go classic Dodger Dog.

I get the nachos in the helmet.

I'll get the soft serve of ice cream with the churro in the helmet.

I'm loving this.

I don't really do any of the

more upscaled food offerings.

There's a Korean place in there and there's a couple of Japanese places in there.

There's the taco and there's the Hawaiian stand.

I go straight Dodger Stadium classic food.

Are you saving these helmets?

Only when I get a size that I have not previously had.

Got it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because how many are you going to have in your own home?

I try to give the, I'll give the helmet to a kid.

Oh, there you go.

That's nice.

Yeah, give it to to him a baby for a babies baseball game or something.

It works out.

Amelia was giving you a finger wag in a good way.

For what?

For

the soft serve helmets.

I was saying like, yes,

sometimes you just have to do it.

Yeah, yeah.

Is that the best way to eat ice cream out of a helmet?

That's a good question, Wags.

You know what?

It's up there.

I feel like Murder Brian or the guy's podcast, our friend Brian Quinnby, would argue that, yes, it is.

He's a big soft serve in a baseball house.

Do you think some of these major leaguers are doing it when they go into the clubhouse?

I think so, yeah.

Otani and uh Moogie Bets and all them, they're they're filling up their uh their Dodgers uh helmets with some ice cream.

I think that it might happen.

Yeah, I mean, I think you recruit a bat boy to do it on your own.

Yeah, you did say, Hey, kid, get me some uh run up, get me some soft serve.

Yeah, I'll make it worth your while.

A couple of churros.

What does that mean?

I know what it means.

Whatever you want.

Dodger Stadium for me, Dodger Dog, of course.

Yeah.

But a thing that I associate with Dodger Stadium, which maybe isn't even correct, but garlic fries.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

A lot of fun.

I don't know why.

I don't know if it was like they had them early or something, but I always think of the garlic fries at Dodger Stadium.

And then they used to have a Dracula problem is the thing.

Oh, right.

Yes.

Because

Hollywood.

Hollywood's there.

The Drax are always there.

Bram Stokers.

Dracula was there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Count Chocula.

Morbius was there.

Morbius was there.

So they got to just Morpheus, Morbius and Morpheus, Morpheus was also there.

Well, Morpheus was not a problem.

Well, Morpheus,

Morpheus is actually a virtual character.

Yeah,

that's true.

Can you imagine a vampire in the Matrix-wise?

There were in the second one, yeah, right.

Oh, that's right, they were.

There were, but they were basically vampires.

The Wachowskis could imagine it too, I guess.

They're good at imagining stuff.

Um, I uh, I also will get a michelada, as I call them.

Michelada, yeah, Yeah, that's fun.

I think those are a fun Dodger Stadium.

They're probably at every park now, but when I came to Dodger Stadium for the first time, I was like, garlic fries and a michelada.

And

I really enjoyed those bad boys.

They're great.

You like a michelada?

Yeah, I do.

Am I saying it poorly?

No, I think you're saying it pretty.

Michelada.

You know, I don't know.

I mean, just whatever.

You're the one who's studying Spanish.

I am swimming in Spanish.

I think that's basically.

Okay.

No, yes, no.

I do, no, I like it.

Yeah.

I wonder

a beer with some, you know, clemato, basically.

Yeah, that's a lot of fun.

I've gotten them pre-canned as well.

And sometimes those are like, they're okay, but you know, it's, it's, it gets the job done.

It's not quite the same thing.

I did get a really bad one once where I think the lady didn't know how to make them.

And so I just got like, basically, like a beer with Worcester sauce in it.

Oh, no.

This fucking sucks.

Yeah, that's fucking awful.

They come sometimes in like bats, bat cups.

Yes, yeah.

Yes, which is

insane.

There's a challenge.

I don't know if you know this wise, but it's nine dogs, nine beers in nine innings.

Do you know of this challenge?

I've heard of this, yeah.

It just is, it's just it just seems impossible.

Why do it to yourself?

Yeah,

I guess mini Dodger dogs.

You think, I don't know.

Maybe I can.

But the minis count, though.

Like, and if you're doing the minis, why even bother?

Yeah,

you gotta do a super Dodger dog when you do it.

I don't know.

I mean, like, whatever the actual parameters of the challenge are, I think you got to try to live up to that if you want to get to it.

So you have the full nine innings to do it.

Yeah.

What would be your pace?

Here's the thing.

I think 10 years, the way baseball games used to play,

I would probably be able to do it at the height of my eating and drinking when I was like in my 20s.

I think I could have done it at one point.

Pre-pitch clock.

Yes, right.

Pre-pitched 100%.

With the pitch clock now,

no way on earth I could do it.

There's no way.

But I think my strategy would be to spread them out.

Like I might try to bolt a couple up top, but then after that, I think I want to go to like a one-time.

I think I would take three dogs down to the bottom.

You'd take three dogs immediately.

Three dogs down or just three dollars.

Three dogs, three beers in the first inning.

Yeah.

And then the second inning, I just go, try to go one-on-one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then like I'm shotgun.

I would get the beers done, I think, and be very drunk.

And it'll be a horrible drive home.

But

I'll have Dr.

Terry,

but the dog, the dogs.

I mean, it's just, it's nine buns.

This is the thing you talk about.

Nine buns is the issue.

Nine buns is nine buns is hard.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Are you going to dip those in water like a like a you know Kobayashi or Joey Chestnut?

I mean, but that is the other thing, too, is Joey Chestnut eats 60 of those bad boys.

You can't do nine of them.

You know what I mean?

I think that you could do it.

It's one of those things where it's like you,

it's like measuring yourself up against a professional marathoner.

You know what I mean?

It's like they're running like 26 five-minute miles in a row.

It's like I couldn't run one five-minute mile.

It's a completely different level of human achievement.

Could you dip the bun in the beer?

And then kind of double up that way.

That's pretty good.

That is pretty good.

I mean, I I just would not being, I personally wouldn't enjoy it.

I would just hate it.

No, it's not, yeah, that's the whole thing.

It's like, it's like, I guess you wouldn't be having that much fun doing this anyway.

I'm too old to do these food challenges.

This is the thing that he's out on.

I can't do this anymore.

We did the chicken eggs as a power hour, and I still want to do some stuff like that because it's funny or slash fun.

And I just think that you could be the guy who you watch over it.

You lower it over.

It's fine.

I'll do that.

I'll mediate.

I do think you have to do one last shrimp off just to make things right.

Wow.

That's it.

I don't want to do it.

I know.

You don't want to do anything, though.

You don't want to do anything.

So just try one thing or two things.

We'll see.

We'll see.

That's perfect.

That's all I need.

Just say, I'll see, and you never do it, and then it will be fine.

Jason, the hope.

Yeah,

I know you're a Dodgers fan, but I know you're also a huge New York Knicks fan of the NBA season is approaching.

How are you feeling about your Knickerbockers?

I'm feeling good.

I'm feeling positive.

There's been a change of coaching.

Everybody seems healthy.

We've brought in some

new players and i feel good i feel as good as i've ever felt going into a season okay because last year you had the obvious the addition of carl anthony towns pretty late in the in the off season yes and yeah that ended up working out pretty pretty well in terms of making a run to the conference finals but it was definitely an adjustment A big adjustment,

some kinks to work out

with the new coaching.

You know, you kind of feel like, okay, we're going to make use of our entire roster.

And I feel good.

It's nice to be a Knicks fan.

It's one of the highlights of life right now.

I don't like it personally.

I was at the last good Celtics game with friend of the podcast Zach Cherry.

And it was the last time that the Celtics, like when we beat the Knicks at Madison Square Garden pretty handily, and then

handedly?

Handedly?

I don't know.

Handedly?

Handedly?

Handily.

Now I'm second-guessing it.

I think it's handily in that game.

I think it is handily.

Handily.

Dexterous manner, handily.

Okay.

Okay.

We beat them handily.

And then it's just true nightmare.

Then you beat something else handily.

Whoa.

Well, have you seen the video of your guy, Jason Tatum, working out

doing full basketball moves mere months after tearing his Achilles?

Makes me so happy for him and also terrified that he's going too fast.

But I mean, I know that they will slow him down and make him.

How is this possible?

Yeah, how is this possible?

They said that no one's ever been this young and then also have have never gotten the surgery that fast ever.

That's basically immediate, right?

Right.

That's what they said.

And that leads me to ask, like, why has everyone been like, let me just hang out with this ruptured tendon in my leg for like two, three days?

Yes.

Why not go immediately and get it?

Yeah.

I think that he was so lucky that he was in New York City, one of, you know, a good city.

One of the good cities of the world.

And

there was like an amazing doctor there.

And I think it was just like, let's do this right now.

And I think so many of those guys are like, who am I going to go with?

And what am I going to do?

Or whatever.

They try to figure it out and they fly him.

And he didn't have to fly either.

That's the other thing, too.

It's like, I guess if when you go up in a plane with that injury, it can fuck you up too, or whatever.

But I was shocked to hear him say that he had like even content, like, will I ever play again or do I retire?

And I was like, oh, my God.

But I mean, look, he's a professional athlete.

He's a, you know, it's just, they're superheroes compared to us.

So

I'm excited for him.

I, I was, I was like, oh, the season's over.

Now I am hopeful hopeful for next season.

Though the team, our team is completely different now.

And do the Knicks now kind of,

are they the favorites, I guess?

I mean,

I hope so.

I really hope so.

So if he had ruptured his Achilles in Boston,

it would have been they had to get like a Wahlberg to do it or something.

There's not like they don't have a guy up there, they don't have people up there that can do it.

There is a doctor in the back of Wahlbergers that would do it.

We have, for like any of our guests, if you like bust your gut from from eating or laughing.

Yes, right.

Yeah.

There's never been one from laughing.

No, but it's, it's a, you know, it's a possibility.

Yeah, we, we, we have a doctor nearby that we send you to.

Yeah.

A vet.

We'll send you to the vet, yeah.

Boston has like a pretty good like hospital.

Yes, medical system, right?

Yeah.

Oh, of course.

My, my, my, um, my dad went to one of the, you know, when he got cancer, went to one of the mass general, one of the best hospitals in the entire world.

A great, great spot.

But I don't know if it would have happened there, but I guess they had the doctor in town and he just, he went for it, which is great news for me.

Do you think he will play this year?

I can't imagine it.

But that video,

he's moving so well and he doesn't seem to be like going 80%.

Like he seems to be like really going for it.

Yeah.

It's shocking and it leads me to believe I guess we will see him this year sometime, even though that doesn't make any kind of sense to me.

Yeah.

I could see him coming in at like in April.

Well, depending on where the team is.

Depends on where they are.

Like if they're in the playoff hunt, you know, but if they're like, you know, on the margins for a play-in spot, then I don't know.

I mean, we'll see.

Maybe this becomes like Tommy John, where if you get it young enough, you have like a stronger tendon.

Like guys will be like, well, I'm 22.

Maybe I should just rupture my tendon now.

That is crazy.

That makes me feel old just thinking of like, like over the course of my life, Tommy John has just become like a normal surgery that so many people get now.

And like it used to be like, oh, they might be done forever or whatever.

But yeah, I think it seems like it seems, it seems like it's all good.

And also, maybe the mental stuff won't be as bad because it was so quick.

You know what I mean?

Like, maybe, maybe he'll be, you know what I mean?

Because I think so many, they say so many people that tear their Achilles are like, it's all mental coming back.

So we'll see what happens.

Wow.

I like how do you feel about the Lakers?

I'm going to feel all right.

We'll see.

It's weird because of the LeBron situation.

You know, it seems like he's like kind of half in, half out, but, but I think they were.

it's it's it's just like a kind of like a weird like liminal state where like like clearly they're transitioning to luca as the new face of the franchise but lebron is still there he has such legacy he has such cachet um i i don't know what the the team will look like next season but i think they'll be they'll be competitive the west thing is the west is so sad lebron doesn't play for the monsters

Yeah, I mean, that would be a real heel turn if he went over to play for the Monsters after battling them and

chase jam a new legacy.

Yes.

Yeah.

As I think contractually, I'm not sure.

Yeah.

Probably couldn't.

Maybe it's a different week, I guess.

Yeah.

You know, I was at Videots, the local video store and movie theater here in Los Angeles in Eagle Rock

this week to see a preview of the HBO show Task.

Oh, wow.

Wow.

And there was a panel with the

show creator, Brad Inglesby, and Mark Ruffalo was there, and Tom Pelfrey, the two, two, two of the stars.

And in the audience, Bronnie James.

Wow.

Wow.

Just hanging out.

Bronnie James.

How about that?

And it turns out he is dating the director, Sally Whitfield's daughter.

Wow.

Wow.

That's amazing.

I was like, why the fuck is Bronnie James here?

There's a chance that he was sitting in the birthday boys' dedicated seat.

Idiots.

Where's your seat?

Yeah, which seat is that?

It's like a little wider than the other ones for me.

I don't know where it is, actually.

I tried to find it one day and I couldn't.

I was like looking at it.

How did this come to be?

How did this come to exist?

Ferguson was like, do you guys want to do this?

And we were like, yeah.

And that was it.

And then, you know, Ferguson, he's a little busy bee.

It was a little bit of a like a donation to support this local institution to get the designated birthday boys chair.

How about that?

There's a lot of, there's names on like every chair, I believe.

Right.

So we should be in there.

We are supposed to have a chair.

I'm going to ask Ferguson.

You're right next to the Kevin Spacey chair.

Yeah, and there's no arm on his chair, so he can reach over.

They're screening Save It Private Ryan.

Save it, Private Ryan.

It's taped off reserved.

Oh, man.

Yeah, this is the thing, the thing, like, because I was with Mitch when the Jason Tatum injury happened, and we were having a fucking Doughboys meal

at Flindup Hollywood.

True, they just had it on the big screen.

It was a horrible meal.

And like, it's the sort of thing, like, it's like, I'm rooting for the Knicks, obviously, as a Celtics hater, as a Lakers fan, but I, like, I just, like, it's

tainted the series because, like, it was the Knicks were going to win anyway, but then it's just, you feel bad about it.

No, come on.

They're going to be up 3-1.

Now, let me ask you this, conspiracy brain.

Maybe he's just ducking the loss.

What about that?

What about Jason Tatum?

He pulled his own bath and thinking, you know what?

I don't want to be on the court when we lose to these Knicks.

The four-dimensional.

That's why he's coming back so fast.

You're saying nothing about it.

Let me just drop to the ground.

Pound on the pound on the floor.

They say that with all the Celtics.

Pierce was faking it with his legs.

He did canonically fake it.

Yeah.

All right.

Hold on.

Are we going to get the Celtics?

They told him to get in a wheelchair and he got in a wheelchair.

This was

for the day of Sandbattle.

Pierce does not get enough damn respect.

I imagine most of our listenership.

Look, I like Paul Pierce.

He's from Southern California.

He's a legend.

He's a funny guy.

He's a funny guy, you know.

But, but yes, this was an NBA Finals game.

He was injured and taken away in a wheelchair and then returned to that same sort of game.

But the conspiracy theory, the same game, the conspiracy theory for a long time was that what actually happened is he shit his pants.

Yeah.

And the wheelchair was covered for him to get out of there without everyone seeing a big which he's also just played into anyway.

Like he's leaned into it.

He's played into or

basically said is true.

Yeah.

I think that he joked that it was true, but it wasn't really true.

Sure.

Okay.

And even if he did shit his pants, in our line of work, that happens all the time.

It's funny.

I think it's funny if he did that.

Yeah, yeah.

I think it's fine.

It's like, well, whatever.

It happens.

By the way,

Ferguson confirmed that, yes, we do.

Somebody sent me a pick once, but I forget what row.

And I was just laughing because the message I had last sent Ferguson was, what's your wife's Instagram?

So, Jason, we

mentioned Mr.

Beast Burger.

We also, I'm realizing we had you on for Shake Shack.

We've talked burgers with you a few times.

Have you had any good burgers lately?

Are burgers something that's often in your meal rotation?

I love a burger.

Although now, I've discovered I have a history, a family history of gout.

So maybe I'm going to have to be careful with this.

But Lowboy on Sunset.

Oh, man.

I haven't.

We just had Low Boy for dinner last night.

We got burgers.

My favorite burger in L.A.

It's on my list.

I've never been there.

Great.

Great, great, great, very good burger.

Awesome.

Great.

What's the, like, what makes it a good burger?

It's a good smash burger.

It's seasoned well.

The

bun doesn't get in your way.

They eat potato buns, I believe, so they're really soft.

I've had low boy, and I do love it.

Sorry, I was confused.

It's very good.

It's very, very, very good.

Mitch is deep in Ferguson's wife's Instagram right now.

Mitch is like diamonds.

He's like 11 years back at this point.

You know,

the vegetables are really fresh.

So there's that wonderful mix of textures.

Just a great flavor.

The fries are solid.

Fries are good.

Just a good burger.

What style of fries are we talking?

They're like, it's funny.

There was a food truck that used to be at Special Olympics that we used to go to all the time as kids, and they they would literally like put the potato in the thing and like crank it right into the fryer they were so fresh and low boys fries remind me of that it's like a super fresh like crispy potato shoestring style yeah it's nice yeah

really nice when is it when is the next i'm i'm coming up there for uh for special olympics yeah we'll go the good the best games to go to are in like the usually the first or second weekend of june steak we're gonna do it we're gonna rage wow they get they get canceled really easily like if there's even like a hint of weather they'll be like oops can't do it so like it gets frustrating frustrating sometimes, but we'll make it.

It's going to happen someday.

It's going to rage too.

I like the sound of that.

Yeah, we're going to rage.

Gets canceled easily.

Sounds like the Doughboys.

Yeah,

we got to make it out there sometime.

I can't wait to be on the news getting arrested because I'm too drunk at the special romance.

Hey, it's going to be a great time.

Is that like a Smash Burger is that we were looking for?

Are you looking for a burger that's kind of straight ahead?

Because I feel like as I've gotten, you know, I'm the burger boy and as I've gotten older, like I like a, I like a simpler, more streamlined burger.

I don't, I don't eat too much stuff on it.

I used to love a burger that was like loaded up with a bunch of toppings, but now I'm just like, eh, get, you know, maybe a little more straight ahead.

I want a straight-ahead burger.

Yeah, yeah.

Classic style burger that,

you know, I don't like those.

I don't like burgers that I'm like, I got to smash it down.

I can't get it in my mouth.

That's right.

Just give me a normal size burger with the regular fixings on it.

And if you can nail that, I'm in.

And they, they do it.

I'm in the top 1% of mouth sizes, as I've learned.

You are.

And, and the, uh, I'll sometimes

you'll sometimes get

one of those burgers.

Uh, uh, yeah, Mr.

T.

Uh, we'll sometimes get one of those burgers that's so bulbous that even I can't fit it into my mouth.

And I'm just like, this is insane.

I'm at the top end of what's possible.

And you're not, I can't jam it into my gaping maw.

You know what I mean?

That's, I, I, too,

look, I have an issue with too thick of a patty and too much toppings.

Both I don't like.

But Haley, I hate to do this to you and bring you into this podcast.

Is there anything people say when they come here, they got to try In-N-Out burgers?

Is there a place that you want to eat at when you come here or no?

Not really particularly.

I feel like you have a good gauge of

certain restaurants.

So if she says it's good, you know, I trust her.

You might take her to Dentai Funk.

I don't know because

I've never been there.

And that's a good one.

I'm like the least picky eater.

So like I will try anything once and kind of eat anywhere.

I was going to try to set you up and ask what you thought of the In-N-Out because you love In-N-Out, but you don't like it.

Yeah.

And don't you think that sometimes they go a little crazy on the toppings at In-N-Out or no?

I don't.

I mean, it's, you know, again, it's a, it's an for me, I grew up with it.

So like, it's a

you know that I've come around.

I like, I love in-n-out.

Are you talking the secret menu?

Are you talking just regular?

Just regular.

A regular double double.

I mean, yeah, it's, it's got, it's got,

it's got a little bit of

a pretty thick layer of veggies, I guess, if you think about everything.

But I mean, I don't know.

You can streamline it a little bit.

You can, you can,

you can customize.

I think a single cheeseburger at In-N-Out, like you're not getting the meat.

The ratio is not right.

No, the double-double is the correct ratio.

I agree with you there.

Okay.

Yeah.

That's all I was going to say.

That's all I was going to say.

No, I think it's a reasonable take.

And Natalie always says the double burger is like the

kind of the default burger, the measure of a burger.

So I think that that's a pretty, pretty good gauge for In N-Out burger as well.

What do you, okay, like, let's say, let's say, because you're a podcaster, you're also a writer.

Do you have any go-to writing snacks or writing beverages?

Nuts, all kinds of nuts,

all kinds of nuts, almonds,

pecans, pistachios, shelled or unshelled,

trail mix.

Oh, yeah.

Just any kind of fingery, you know,

gardetos, little, which is like a regional pretzel.

Yes, right.

Gardettos are good.

Yeah.

They're like a Midwest thing, right?

Yeah, they're like a Midwest thing.

We get them shipped out.

That kind of stuff, fingery kind of like, I'll take one, chew on it for a long time while I'm thinking about something.

And beverage, you know, just water and coffee.

Lots of coffee.

Yeah.

Would you have a caffeine cutoff?

No.

Man, I like, I

had to start instituting that because I found like if I have coffee after like, if I have caffeine at all, after like 2 p.m., I'm just like, that has to be a day where it's like, I really need energy because I'm paying for it later on.

So those lingering, the half-life of coffee just sticks with me.

Mitch, how are you with caffeine?

Did you avoid it later in the day?

Well, I mean, you're drinking a Coke Zero now.

Drinking Coke Zero now in the evening.

So I guess the answer is no.

What time is it?

Yeah, 6.15.

I mean, I'll have a Coke Zero mini with dinner, but like, I never felt like Coke would affect me that much.

But maybe as I get older, it does.

And maybe I should start.

My issue right now is, you know, this, I start taking Lexapro.

I have long COVID and it's helping me deal with it.

But

my sleep is out the window.

yeah

horniness gone sleep gone sure which there wasn't much of the first one anyways and there wasn't much of the second one either like how you know that I would be a night owl but it it I I do need to start figuring out how to get I've told you in the last couple months the the sleep issue has been tougher and I've taken my medicine earlier in the day but I still I still can't get to sleep.

There's another thing that you can take that used to be used for as an antidepressant, but now is like asleep.

He doesn't want to give me ambiene because I think he's afraid of me getting addicted to ambiene i think

so he's not giving me that but i but uh but i

maybe this is a part of it maybe i got to start cutting out the uh the the coke zeros at night and and not drink any caffeine beyond like 3 p.m or something is it that you can't get to sleep or that you wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep oh man you know what that's now happened to where i'll wake up and i'll be done for and i know that's why i exist yeah that's a big thing for me i i do i used to have more trouble falling asleep um now it's more staying asleep yeah

but for me, it the pandemic messed me up on sleep forever, maybe.

And I don't know if I'm, I've always been trying to get better from that.

But then like,

like for me now, now it would be like two or three is a good night from the, like, with the medicine.

And then sometimes I will be like, yeah, a bad night is four or even closer to five.

So that is like.

Wait, wait, how, like, number of times you're waking up?

No, no, going to bed.

Oh, going to bed.

Okay.

Yeah.

Which is, which is, which is tough.

And I like that is tough.

I've done the thing where I'm like, all right, I'm not sleeping and then I'll still be be awake at night, like for whatever reason.

Like to try to reset it where you're like, let me just go at 24 hours and not sleep.

Sleep.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then I won't, I'll be exhausted and I'll be trying to keep myself up to like, you know, it'll be like 6 p.m.

And I'll be like, I can't go to bed yet.

I'm staying up.

And then I just hit a point in the night where I just don't.

I'm not tired at all.

Yeah.

Anytime I tried that in the past, what ends up happening is I just sleep 11 hours that night and it just fucked again.

You know what I mean?

So it's like it just does not work.

The only thing that's ever gotten to work for me is just just having the exact same waking time every single day, like just not sleeping in.

So, I mean, some days you'll be tired, but at least you're like, you know, you're regimented in that regard.

Our very first tour,

we laughed because you came out at nighttime in sunglasses.

I remember that's true.

So you were battling the stuff and you had the,

did you have the neon light with you or whatever?

There's not a neon light, but you have some sort of light.

Well, I did.

Yeah.

So I did have a light visor for a time, which I got, you know, like a sleep specialist got me like like, oh, you should need one of these things.

It shoots UV light right in your eyes.

And I talked to someone else.

I was like, just go in the sun.

I was like, oh, yeah.

I bought this fucking $60 visor to approximate anything I could do just by just going outside.

So that's why I go on a first thing in the morning every morning.

Once the sun rises, I go on a little like a 20-minute walk.

But yeah, imagine being on the road with Waggs the first time and at 10:30 p.m., he comes out in sunglasses.

And now you're supposed to fucking,

hi, guys.

So you're like, what the fuck is going on?

I remember Carl Tart thought I was doing a bit.

And I was like,

we all thought you were doing a bit.

Do I do bits?

Put on sunglasses to like, hey, guys, look at me.

I feel like we had been drinking too.

So we got back to the Airbnb and then turned out in sunglasses and we were all like,

how much do we drink?

For like 10 seconds, I thought you were cool as hell.

I feel dumb asking this, but like, what about edibles or CBD or anything?

I mean, it's a good question.

And

I like, I,

for me, very often I found that that gives me more anxiety.

Yeah.

I'm actually, does that work for you at all?

It does in getting me to sleep, but then I have the problem where three, four in the morning, I wake up and then I awake.

Right.

Yeah, that's, that's always the biggest bummer for me.

Yeah, but, but, but like, I've gotten better at being able to go back to sleep, but it's so often it's just like, okay,

the thing I've been doing lately is just like, hey, if I wake up and I have like racing thoughts or something like this, this was something my therapist told me is like, I'll just go and like write those down.

And just writing them down will kind of get them out of my head.

And also just like getting out of bed where I'm not worried about oh fuck I can't fall back to sleep but I'm doing something else then when I go back oh usually that that'll work for me at least is that your notebook that was said was that said kill Mitch over and over again

my hands around Mitch's neck I'm squeezing his eyes become bloodshot

uh i why i i i feel for you for dealing with with all that stuff we have sleep issues too we all do mitchells are broken we shouldn't we i we should become extinct extinct after i die i mean that's the truth of the you know that's the truth of the matter say that our timeline is done come on

it's over we've we had we had some good rum

there's another mitchell there is one more jake mitchell is there is the one last mitchell okay he sounds cool yeah oh he's cool he is cool uh but uh you know for me it's it's let's just call it here i mean do we want do i want a future meet my generation of Mitchells in the like a future generation of Mitchells in the world?

It seems like it's not going great, right?

That's true, but like, you know, they have that seed bank, like, where is that in Norway?

Oh, sure, yeah, yeah.

Don't you want to like, I'll drop something off your seed bank, something in a vial at the seed bank?

I'd like to do something like that.

I, Mike Mitchell, you know, put a little Sharpie on it,

sir.

We just don't take random samples from people.

This is supposed to be like saplings.

It's in a lunch bag.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no, I,

I'll I'm figuring it out slowly, but it is not sleep has not been

good for a minute.

Also, by the way, you brought up gout, the king's disease, as they call it.

King's disease, rich man's disease.

But you had a very funny story about your.

Oh, do you, is it off limits?

Okay, all right, sorry.

My my mom

my mom has been having like weird uh issues with her joints recently.

Like she uh she was coming out to my uh wedding party in the, in the summertime, and when she was out here, she was trying on

high heels at like two in the morning, and then she hurt her leg.

She had to get a walking boot, whatever.

She texts me two weeks ago and tells me, Hey, so I went to the emergency room this week, which she didn't tell me at the time.

It's like five days later.

Yeah, which we bonded over with.

Yeah.

And she's like,

and multiple doctors looked at my foot and my leg and my ankle.

And it turns out I have gout.

And it turns out we have a history of gout in the family because I talked to your aunt and she also has gout and also your uncle has gout and blah, blah, blah.

And I was like, okay, mom,

that's concerning, obviously, but you can, you know, I've known people with gout.

You can get that under control with your diet.

What have you been eating?

And she has, she's recently, like last year, joined this older ladies like Facebook group.

And they're.

like menace.

They're out on the town all the time.

They're eating out four or five nights a week.

And she told me that she's, among many other things, eating an average of two whole lobsters a week.

She's been eating two lobsters a week for almost a year.

That's so good.

That rules.

Yeah, that rules.

Yeah, for a whole year.

That's a lot of butter, too, is probably the big issue.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because by itself, probably not.

not the worst you could do but she told me all the things that she has been eating and that she's been eating at home which include i guess she's been snacking on tins of sardines which are a big one

sure right that's a big one for gout as well which she's just like smashing tins of sardines in between huge lobster feasts

um so yeah you know and my joke in the house has been uh you know well i can't eat that because of my gout which makes

my wife huge fan of this podcast, by the way.

Oh, hell yeah.

Wow.

Okay.

Point at her right now.

Why?

Because when this comes out, it's going to be on the device in the kitchen.

She's going to be watching it while she's doing something in there.

Hey, buddy.

Hey, what's up?

And then she's always like, and then she's always like, you don't have gout.

You don't eat two lobsters a week.

Yes, right.

You're fine.

But I'm concerned about it.

You're going to be proactive.

You're going to be ahead of the game.

I told a story when I had cellulitis when my foot got bigger at school.

Yeah.

My foot blew up and I had to take my shoe off.

Yeah.

I think that I could get goat at some point.

I'm so surprised that neither of us have gotten it.

Maybe I haven't.

I don't know.

I haven't been in the doctor in a while.

Yeah.

Get back over there.

I guess.

I don't know.

What do you mean, you guess?

What the hell?

I don't.

Do you like going to the doctor?

No.

You like it?

Yeah.

You like it?

Yeah.

Why?

Well, she's a freak.

I like, I watch

cranial nerve exams, ASMR to go to bed.

I like medical stuff.

What are you talking about?

What is it?

We should have known that this would happen.

What is a cranial nerve exam?

It's when they...

Cranial nerve exam ASMR.

ASMR.

They're like asking people questions.

Yeah, they take like a pen light and

they're like, all right, look here.

Okay, look here.

Oh, got it, got it.

And they're like, okay, can you feel this?

Is this a sharper dull?

Is this sharper dull?

And

they examine you.

You were drunk at my house once and you put one of these on it, like one of them.

Yeah, I was like,

you know, ate McDonald's to it.

It's fun.

You know that I, you know, I'm an ASMR person.

You are?

Yeah.

Dude, was this before your time?

Yeah.

Well, maybe.

I remember you talking about this in the kitchen at Palmerston.

Okay, yeah.

So maybe before your time.

Did you ever see Palmerston?

No.

Wow.

You never saw Palmerston.

Wow.

Do you watch JFK not knowing about the Beatles?

It's true.

Whoa.

Yeah, it's the same.

Same thing.

They imagine them overlapping, but no.

GB, I think her name is.

I know GB.

Yeah, yeah.

GB, I used to watch.

Yeah, she is good.

I like Ting Ting.

Ting Ting?

Ting Ting.

All right, I gotta watch Ting Ting.

I gotta check out Ting Ting.

GB's pretty.

She was one of the OG ASMR people.

She's a big pro.

Yeah.

And makes like, you know, more money than every anyone in

more money than most people in Hollywood.

Off of

pretending to be a doctor and shining a light in people's eyes, which is great.

Good for her.

They have different role plays.

It's not sexual, but it's just like school nurse or like, yeah, like it gets a little, it gets a little, it gets a little, it gets a little horny.

It feels a little bit horny.

If you're not, it's just cool.

Well, that's ASMR is weird in that way because it feels good.

Right.

But like, you know, sometimes, you know, like it comes from weird source, it comes from like a weird source you don't expect or whatever.

Yes, right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, it's not sexual.

It's like, you know, it's like school nurse.

It's like sexy librarian.

It's like pizza delivery man, you know, it's like class that's like porno actor, it's like sexual.

Uh, it's just for fun, yeah, it's just for fun, though.

Uh, let's we got if you if you if you hit like the if you were like whispering to me or something, you could you could maybe give me Mitch.

Never mind.

Let me finish what you were gonna say.

You, you, you could give me ASMR, Amelia knows this.

This is the thing, like, you say you could give me AMSR.

I actually, I do get ASMR from librarians, really, really, wow,

quiet, Amelia.

Is like that sort of thing.

I didn't know that you could get America.

I didn't know that you could get ASMR without like equipment.

Yeah.

I mean, like, I didn't think it could happen.

Yeah.

Don't you need like headphones?

No.

I mean, like, when I was younger, I remember being in a class and like someone was like whispering.

And that's like the first time I got.

That's, that's what I'm saying.

Cause sometimes it can be like, and that was your pretty girl is whispering.

That was your first story, as I said.

Yes, it's also that too.

But like,

it's weird because sometimes it can be like, oh, this like this girl I think is cute is doing it, and it's giving me ASMR.

And then also,

it cannot be like any sexual at all.

It's very, it's, it's very, it's a very strange thing.

And a lot of people don't, a lot of people don't even know what it is because they don't get it.

Do you, have you gotten it ever or not?

I don't think so.

Have you seen it?

It's like full body tingles when it's like a certain,

not full body, but I've, I've felt it like in the skin of my scalp, like down my neck.

Got it.

Yeah.

I mean, it feels when

it feels really good when you, when you're, when you got it.

Like, and sometimes you know you can get it.

Like there's like weird, uh, it's strange.

Yeah.

I don't know why it happens.

I know I'm going to get it at the doctor.

That's why I love going to the doctor.

I love going to the dentist.

I love doing all those things that like, I don't know, it just triggers it.

Librarian.

Okay.

I don't mind the dentist because I feel like I get like that's insane.

No, because I come away feeling clean.

Eye doctor is a big one.

They do whisper to you because they're so close.

I did, I've told this story before, but speaking of whispering eye doctors, I did, my eye doctor was, this was, this was many years ago,

but she was a new eye doctor and she was leaning in close while she was giving me an exam.

And she goes,

kiss me.

I said to this day, I can't believe you did it.

I just froze.

I just froze.

I was like, I was like, because I was like, I don't know what the fuck's going on here.

And then she just like waited.

And then she just like continued the exam.

And they just never tested it again.

She didn't acknowledge it.

And And I think, like,

I was like, like, like, maybe she didn't realize she said it aloud, or she like it just escaped, and she was like, oh shit, I didn't mean to say that, or maybe she was legitimately testing the waters to see what happened.

If I was in a way,

yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe it works for her.

If I was in your spot, come here, babe.

I can't believe you didn't do it.

So you would become Elvis.

And pull her close.

You read that number.

You read that letter on the chart oh

no i i just like i was like what am i gonna do what are you talking about that's so weird you're telling me she was pretty too

i mean she what whatever she was all right i'm not gonna do that i'm like what are you doing

there's some weird fucking power dynamic

give me a smr if you catch my drip

what was your thought process at the time i mean it's just like it's so unexpected for sure that i'm just like what happened what just happened i don't know what like i don't know what this, I don't know.

It didn't even notirck.

That's why I just froze.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

It's like, yeah, in hindsight, you maybe are like,

but I was just like, still,

we're not going to do anything.

It's weird.

It's insane.

It's a dream.

You blew a dream.

This babe eye doctor asked you to kiss her.

You just, I'm good.

Thank you.

And you left.

I made the right move.

I'm not replaying that

sliding doors moment of my life without

I'm glad I made the decision AI exams maybe

I can't believe that you like the dentist more than you like yeah the doctor that to me look I get going away with clean teeth but like the the doctor you you don't usually like the dentist can hurt I think there's too much body shame associated with a doctor you know what I mean yeah I mean like I said I don't know you're like look like an asshole doctor you go oh

I'm self-conscious about like you got like I don't know I'm not on display whereas like my just my chompers like I'm less worried about that and I also like I like how my teeth look after, and I like how my mouth feels after the dentist.

I don't know.

It's funny I question that.

And I'm like, oh, yeah, doctors always tell me I'm overweight constantly.

But still, like, you know, like, you don't, like, you maybe get blood drawn, which is.

I don't mind getting blood drawn.

Really?

Yeah.

No, that's fine.

Yeah.

That'll make me sick.

You like it too?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Why?

It gives me ASMR.

Oh, my God.

Like, jigsaw behind the desks over here.

I am the opposite.

I like have to tell them I'm a fainting risk and they make me sit in the special chair that locks me in so I can't fall over.

Oh, wow.

Because it freaks me out.

That's the last time I went to the doctor, the guy taking my blood was like, Are you doing okay?

Because I was like, not looking.

And I was like, I just don't like to look.

We grew knows this, but I went, I was getting treatments on my head for my bot spot.

It didn't work.

But where they draw blood and then they couldn't find my vein.

And it was 45 minutes.

And

they fucked me up so bad.

It was terrible.

It was bad.

It was bad.

And then this guy got it.

This guy got it.

First try.

He got it.

It was great.

I once went and I was like, just so you know, this makes me super queasy.

I'm a bit of a fainter.

So I'm not going to look.

And the doctor was like, oh, me too.

I won't look either.

And I was like, that doesn't make me feel good.

Stop.

Don't make that joke.

That's funny.

By the way, if Amelia came in one week and she's like, I'm dating Jigsaw, we wouldn't bat it.

Yeah,

yeah.

Holding his hand as he's on his trike.

Hey, buddy, you might think you have a solid handle on your budget.

Maybe your spreadsheet says you should have an extra $1,000 left over each month.

That'd be nice, right?

But if your bank account isn't reflecting that, something's off.

Rocket Money helps you track every dollar, uncover hidden spending, and take control of your finances.

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

Rocket Money shows you all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you forgot about.

If you see a subscription you no longer want, Rocket Money will help you cancel it.

Their dashboard lays out your total financial picture, including bill due dates and paydays, in a way that's easy to digest.

You can even automatically create custom budgets based on your past spending.

Rocket Money has saved users over $2.5 billion

with a B,

including over $880 million in canceled subscriptions alone.

Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features.

Wow.

Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money.

Go to rocketmoney.com slash Doughboys today.

That's rocketmoney.com/slash Doughboys.

RocketMoney.com/slash Doughboys.

Hey, buddy, it's fall.

Some call it autumn.

I call it fall.

Sometimes I call it autumn.

But it always feels like a reset between back to school, busier routines, shorter days, finding time to cook can be tough.

That's why I, and everyone here at Doughboys, loves Factor.

Their chef-prepared, dietician-approved meals make it easy to stay on track and enjoy something comforting and delicious, no matter how hectic this hectic season gets.

With Factor, you had more variety, more meals.

Choose from a wider selection of weekly meal options, including premium seafood choices like salmon and shrimp at no extra cost.

Enjoy even more GLP-1-friendly meals and support your wellness goals with new Mediterranean diet options packed with protein and good-for-you fats.

Savor global flavors.

For the first time, try Asian-inspired meals with bold flavors influenced by China, Thailand, and more.

You fill in the blanks.

From more choices to better nutrition, that's why 97% of customers say that Factor helped them live a healthier life.

Feel the difference no matter your routine.

I really enjoy those Factor meals.

Lately enjoyed the sweet potato grits and sage chicken with honey roasted carrots and green beans.

That was a healthful, nutritious, and delicious meal.

Eat smart at factormeals.com/slash Doughboys50Off and use code Doughboys50Off to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year.

That's code Doughboys50Off at FactorMeals.com for 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year.

Get delicious, ready-to-eat meals delivered with Factor.

Offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase.

We got to talk soups.

That is the order of the day.

Do you have any favorite soups, any go-to soups?

Right now, my go-to soup is the Mendocino Farms

Lemon Chicken Faro.

You were talking this up, yes.

It's the only soup at a chain that I've ever had where immediately after having it, I tried to figure out how it was made.

Right.

I went on a deep dive to try and make it at home.

Wow.

Yeah.

And got pretty close.

Got reasonably close with the recipe I found on Reddit.

Wow.

Okay.

And it's just great.

It's a great soup.

I don't think I've ever had it.

In fact, I usually don't dip into their soup.

So I guess I got to try.

It's quite an endorsement.

It's a star.

Yeah.

Wow.

I like Mendo.

They made a Mendo made a change a few, like,

I mean, they expanded, which is a part of it, but they made, they made, whenever they made their expanded, they used to have a chicken prosciutto salad.

Yep.

And when they got rid of that, I was was kind of bummed.

And I felt like their salads have never come back to, they're still great, but they used to do like a steak cob.

And it feels like they now are like a little bit more manufactured.

I don't disagree with you.

It feels like it's stabilized in recent months, although they have recently changed the name of the

Mama Chen's chicken salad to the simply the Chen's chicken salad.

Okay.

Okay.

All right.

Which I don't know what that, I've always felt like the mama, she better, like, as an Asian, this lady better exist

she better be there yeah right i'm pretty sure like yeah some guy named tony right and now dropping the mama makes me feel like that she never existed did she never exist or that's right so i'm i'm i still eat it it's it's great but i am concerned about that aspect yeah i they also got rid of the save the save drake's farm salad yeah it's gonna be completely excise which was like such a yeah it was such a staple of the menu that's and the chicken chicken brazil salad was great and also i felt like when i was when i first i remember kowalek worked and he brought me the first time.

So this is years ago.

Yeah.

Close to 15 years ago at Palmerston when we first moved into Palmerston.

He worked down there.

Mad Men was shooting down there.

And he, I think he went and got Mendocino Farms when it was like the first location downtown.

And it was, when I ate that salad, I was like, this is like the most farm to table salad I feel like I've ever had from like a place that is like a a fast food restaurant or something.

And now I don't feel that as like it feels like you used to get like a big thing of like a fresh cheese in there and all these fresh vegetables.

And it feels a little bit more manufactured, like a like assembly line or something.

I don't disagree with you.

There's been a little bit of slow.

I still do like it.

I still do like it.

And I think other places have like gone through the insidification way worse than Mendocino Farms, but there's a little bit of that.

But we're talking about a place today that a lot of people say really went through an insidification.

And

I'm just going to say I was really happy today.

I I think it's on, I think it's having a backswing, and obviously, something that's at a completely different scale than Mendocino Farms.

It's much harder to sustain a chain the size of Panera, which we are talking about in the context of Crock Doe Burn Fest.

So, we're just talking about the soups of Panera.

First reviewed in 2018 with Bill Oakley, re-reviewed during the pandemic with the Monica Ruiz and Chris O'Malley.

And then we revisited Panera earlier this year with Camilla Bapornia to try the LTO croissant toast.

But today, we're talking soups, a full roster of eight soups.

Now, Amelia was like, How many of these soups we should get?

And I think we just let's just get them all, including the chili, which we'll talk about, although chili does not clearly qualify for our parameters.

Chili doesn't count, we're not counting it, but we got it.

I'm against this.

I'm pissed.

I'm gonna run down all of them and I can drill down details if we wanna discuss any in particular depth.

The autumn squash soup, the black bean soup, the broccoli cheddar soup, homestyle chicken noodle soup, cream of chicken and wild rice soup, creamy tomato soup, and bistro French onion soup, as well as the aforementioned hearty fireside chili.

Jason, going in, you are a fan of Panera.

i am a fan of panera uh it to me if i'm on a road trip in particular and i see a panera at the rest stop i'm happy that's the dream very very very happy that's that's the dream because panera is to me is really consistent across locations i completely agree i do agree that when it was scaling there was some slippage but i think it's come back and certainly the things that i like which are certain of the soups and certain of the sandwiches there's never really been a noticeable dip for me right i love it Yeah.

No, I'm definitely a Panera fan.

I mean, like, we talked about this before the podcast, but there are chains that I will only visit for content, and there are chains I will go to just to go to.

And Panera is in the latter category.

I will just go to a Panera.

I went when we were in D.C.

I went a couple of times.

I don't get it too often, but I do.

We talked about how Panera itself is a place to break bad news

before.

We're ending Dough Boys.

Yeah, we're good.

I already know Boys.

Wait, what did you say?

So you're not even going to do it in the Panera just after you ate it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

I had a great day where there was a snowstorm and I went to Panera.

I think this is during COVID and I got a bunch of the creamy tomato soup.

I got like a big quart of it or something.

And then I shoveled that day and I came in.

My mom and I had some grilled cheeses and that creamy tomato soup.

And it will always stick with me.

And that is my favorite soup there, that creamy tomato soup.

And I think they do a great job.

And I look,

I

today,

I've always liked Panera, but I think that I was really won over today in a lot of ways.

We're talking soup this month.

Yeah, Mitch, I don't know if we've clarified that.

We're talking soup this month.

Soup's on.

Soup's on.

We're talking soup.

The creamy tomato soup, fine ripened pear tomatoes, puree with fresh cream for a velvety smooth flavor accented by hints of red pepper and oregano and topped with black pepper and sea salt croutons.

I could have used.

Wait, what is it?

This is the black.

The creamy tomato soup.

Oh, the creamy tomato.

Jesus.

I could have used, I feel like a little bit more cream.

Like I thought the texture, I thought it could have, you know,

classic creamsman.

No, I just, I feel like I could have, I could have, wouldn't have minded if that was a little bit more forward, but I thought this was a good soup.

I liked it.

Pretty satisfying.

Certainly, as opposed to the tomato soup we got at Le Pen Cotitienne.

Night and Day.

Much

new Dr.

Dreo.

It's a great soup and a sandwich soup.

Yeah.

I can totally, yeah, 100%.

I mean, and it just works very well with which bread is allowed.

We were allowed to dip bread.

And we got a couple of bread bowls.

They were not cut in the center.

So we just ripped them apart.

Yeah.

Which was the only downside of the whole meal, I feel like.

But

the perfect dipping soups.

And like all of them, every single one of them, I was having fun dipping in there.

But tomato was my favorite.

That's that's a real like, like when you finish the thought, you're kind of like you're on, you're in and then you're out.

It's like, uncut, okay bread bowls like all right come on that's just a bread you want me to talk about

you want me to talk about a hog yeah

is the zombie in 28 years later cut or uncut he's uncut he's uncut

yeah

it's drooping oh man yeah i saw i saw um eddington last night Wow.

Speaking of a dude with a fucking pipe.

I think he would be an alpha.

Yeah, he would be.

Yes.

I was like, oh, yeah, there's no world I get to what he has there.

I'm saying, and no, even like, like, hey, I'm going to chub up for this take.

I want to make me showing my best stuff.

Yeah.

It's still just like.

Or like, even like, I bought a taffy pulling machine.

I liked Eddington.

I liked it.

I liked Eddington quite a bit.

Yeah.

I mean, like, all of his, I wish that, like,

I told you this before, like, I don't even.

love all of his movies, but I always respect all of his.

I'm always kind of like, yeah, this is interesting.

And he was trying something.

And maybe Hereditary is still my favorite of the bunch, but but in Eddington, too, there's a like it is that sort of thing where I was like, I'm having fun watching what the story is, and then it goes crazy.

And I was like, Oh, I would have loved to see the that version of it, but I still really enjoyed it.

I didn't mind that it goes that one, that went crazy.

I like that it went crazy, and I like the ending quite a bit, but yeah, I like that it takes a big swing, yeah, same, yeah.

And the big swing in this one is the Joaquin's wiffle bat of a hog, hello,

Phoenix is rising.

Okay, so they had an autumn squash soup, a rich blender of butternut squash and pumpkin simmered in vegetable broth with select ingredients.

There's a whole bunch of them.

You know, I just personally don't, I like squash.

I don't love a squash soup.

I'm with you.

This is maybe a little too sweet for me.

There's some honey in it and some apple juice.

It's like a, it's a sugary.

I don't like a sweet soup either.

This was at the bottom of the list.

Yeah, me too.

This was at the bottom of my list too.

And I think I said this to you wise, but I was like, this is a well-made soup that I just, this is not my favorite soup.

Yeah.

Like eating it, I was like, this is, this is well done.

If you like this type of soup, I can see you loving this, but it's just not for all three of us, all for all three of us.

It wasn't.

I'd make a suggestion, in fact, to Panera.

Think about

a

room temperature summer soup.

Okay.

I like that.

That's fun.

Not heated with this exact same ingredients and setup, but cool, a cool soup.

Nice, cool soup.

Yeah.

That's fun.

I like that.

I think I would like that too more.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yep.

It's a good pitch.

The black bean soup soup is not an era.

Black bean soup, I enjoyed.

Black beans garbage.

This is a fan favorite that's...

Oh, sorry, Wax.

No, that's it.

This is a fan favorite that's come back.

Yeah.

And I said to you that this reminds me of going to a Mexican restaurant and getting a side of like beans, and that kind of was what it was like to me.

It was very much like a side of black beans.

I don't know.

I mean, a little bit more like a soup, obviously.

I think there's a little more to it than that.

And I think the texture is a little bit different.

I don't know.

I enjoyed this.

Look, I also like the

side of black beans at a Mexican restaurant, but I don't like the same.

But I don't know.

I thought

the soup worked for me.

I also just like, it was hyped up.

Again, just being conscious of what I'm putting in my body.

If I'm getting some dietary fiber, I'm usually pretty happy.

And I know I'm getting some with a black bean soup.

I know I'm getting a hearty amount.

You get a big smile on your face after every spoonful.

Speaking of cream, it felt as if to me that there was a hint of cream in that

black bean soup.

I will also say, if we're just qualifying the chili, on what basis are we qualifying the black bean soup?

Jason, this is a great question.

That's a great question.

I mean, just the fact that it's called itself soup, it wins when it gets in.

But you, I mean, like, consistency, yes, you are not wrong.

It's, it is very, it's very thick.

It's beans, basically.

If it was called hearty fireside chili soup, would it qualify?

That's, I, I, I think it would.

I think it would.

Yeah.

I think it's just labeling it soup.

I think just that, that, that bit of taxonomy would, would put it in the body.

Chili itself, though, doesn't, does not count.

Chili does not.

Chili is not a soup

per our standards.

But I did like that chili.

I thought it was pretty good.

Same.

You know,

I could have used a little bit more spice.

I'm a bit of a heat seeker.

Chili was okay.

It was pretty subtle.

The chili was.

The chili was

okay.

It was all right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's good, though.

Yeah.

The broccoli cheddar soup.

Okay.

I'll have a broccoli cheddar soup.

Same.

Loved it.

And I think this is a good soup.

And honestly, I will get this from Panera sometimes.

Loved it.

Yeah.

This is, for me, the ultimate bread dipping soup.

That was

the ultimate bread dipping soup.

Yeah.

Is there a better candidate?

I don't know.

I loved it.

I love dipping my bread in there.

I do love dipping my bread in a tomato soup, but that this was, I mean, we were talking about this too, that this one almost shouldn't count as a soup.

It is very much just cheese.

It's a side of queso, basically, but it's sure.

It's fantastic.

I loved it.

I feel like you're trying to be the arbiter of what is and isn't soup here.

What the heck?

I mean, soup isn't soup.

It's crock dough

soup.

If Broccoli cheddar soup isn't soup.

What are we talking about?

It is.

I'm just saying that this, it's, it's, it's a, it's almost a cheat.

I mean, it is, it's, I love it, but I'm just saying it's close to a cheat.

Because it's good.

It's a cheat.

What makes it a cheat?

Just because it has cheese in it?

Yeah, kind of.

I think you're going to have to have a soup that has cheese in it.

If someone brought you a bowl of broccoli cheddar soup and then like a bowl of tortilla chips, would you be like, what the fuck?

Or would you be into it?

All right, Emma.

I hate to do this in front of your sister, but shut the fuck up.

Is it, is it, you need like one more ingredient in there?

Yeah, what's the issue?

I think it is a soup.

Okay, everyone?

All right.

I think it's a soup.

Story is changing by the minute, but sure.

It's a soup.

I'm just saying it's almost a cheat that it's that.

Like, it's a cheese soup seems like

it's a sweet.

Sure, sure, sure.

I will say that.

It's like a hamburger soup.

Even as, unlike queso, even as it cools, it doesn't thicken noticeably.

It remains soupy.

That's true.

And it is, and it is, it's very much a soup.

There's some stock in there, I'm sure.

I like your pitch of hamburger soup.

Hamburger cheese, cheeseburger soup would be great.

Oh, interesting.

Okay.

Interesting.

How do you do it?

I mean, I guess probably like the broccoli cheddar soup.

Like the broccoli cheddar with little, like, you know, ground beef.

Ground beef.

Walk, that sounds pretty good.

It does sound good.

It does sound good.

Bread bowl?

Oh, yeah, 100%.

Yeah.

Do you put like little tomato pieces in there or something?

You could do that as well.

Yeah.

Maybe a bit.

Yeah, you could do bacon too.

Look,

we'll trademark this and talk about it after the podcast.

But look, the cheat cheeseburger soup is the doughboys as stiller sodas.

Broccoli cheddar soup

was near my top.

Same.

I love the broccoli soup.

Tomato soup, broccoli cheddar soup, both up there.

Really good.

Okay, we had two chicken soups.

We had a homestyle chicken noodle soup.

And we also had the cream of chicken and wild rice soup.

I would generally prefer chicken noodle soup, but in terms of execution, I preferred the chicken and wild rice soup, which Mitch, you mistook for like a chicken and dumpling soup.

Yeah, it was pretty.

It's a thick boy.

It's another another thick boy.

Yeah, I really liked the chicken and wild rice soup.

I thought it was a very gravy base.

Some may even say it's a little bit of a cheat of a soup again.

I'm going to blow my statue.

It is, it is kind of more of a stew.

It is more of a stew.

It's more of a stew.

Yeah, that's fair.

It is more of a stew.

I'm more of a stew, too.

uh twisted metal um

watch it now on peacock season two

uh mitch is your wait is your episode of x-ray vision out it's out it's out awesome

check out please check out mitch talking twisted metal over on the x-ray vision blog i had a blast wherever you get your podcast yes we had a great time um and thank you for having me um i am chicken noodle soup is kind of boring to me i don't know if you feel the same way but this was a good chicken noodle soup i liked it it was good they did a good job there were

There was no soup today on like Le Pan

Cotin.

What is it?

Cotidian?

Le Pan Cotidian.

Le Pan Cotidian.

Yeah.

Where I,

there was no good soup at Le Pan Cotidillion.

I said it weirdly.

Le Pin Cotidian.

Le Pan Cotidillion.

But today, there was no soup that I was like, this is bad.

There was none that I was like, this is outright.

But the chicken noodle soup, which I think is more boring, was great.

If I was sick and someone gave me a bowl of that soup, I'd be very happy.

I just think that chicken noodle soup can just be a little bit more boring.

I don't know how you feel, but well-seasoned.

I thought it was great.

And the other one was like a delight.

I thought it was like, you know, it was a lot, gravy and everything like that, but it was fantastic.

Why?

Because when you're looking for that heat,

what would you add to a soup that you're like, I'm a heat seeker, I need something?

I mean, this has some green chili peppers in it.

So, you know, that's the, it's, it's doing something.

But yeah, I mean, if, if like I'm getting the soup, like you're saying, I'm making the soup, no,

you bought a soup from somewhere and you're like, you know what, it needs a little bit of that heat.

I'm just gonna punch this up.

I mean, I'll probably, whatever, hot, I'll probably like, you know, I'll douse in some crystal hot sauce or something like that, you know, just give it a little bit more of a kick, but it also depends on what we're working with.

Uh, but I feel like crystal's kind of a good catch-all sauce.

You know, I, I do like the, the, the, the, uh, you know, I've got to usually keep a cholula at home.

Sure.

Um, I do like the jalapeno Tabasco sauce specifically.

I think that's got a really nice character to it.

So probably for something like this, I might go with a jalapeno Tabasco sauce, but

it really just depends.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I mean, also like just some red bell peppers sometimes.

Crushed red pepper is what I meant to say.

I'll get the job done.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It just depends.

Yeah, I don't know if, I don't know if any of these soups needed that plus-up today, you know?

No, I don't think so.

Yeah.

I mean, again, I could have used just a little bit more heat and like chili specifically, but I, but yeah, it's overall fine.

I didn't feel like I needed to adjust the seasoning, whereas I felt like every soup from La Pan Coterian did not have enough seasoning.

I feel like those are all undersalted.

And yeah, but no, I think these are all pretty satisfying.

For me, the loser was, Jason, what I think you was also the loser for you, the bistro French onion soup.

I just didn't think this had very much to it.

I thought it was kind of inert.

I thought this was just like a...

And I think especially it just coming in a cup to go,

you know, like we're not really getting the cheese, which for me is such a big part of the the french onion soup we're really just getting some caramelized onions um in this this kind of uh you know vinegary broth yeah it's just not a soup for me generally right no matter what the uh the chain or or particular restaurant is so you know this one was fine it didn't taste as if it's been sitting around which i think can be a problem with uh french onion soup sometimes but it's just not a soup for me

the floor is low on a french onion soup i i do like a french onion soup and i mitch i think you do as well.

I do.

And you know what?

I like this one too.

You like this one.

Yeah.

In fact,

I've stacked four of them to take home.

And you want to know the ones that I'm taking?

Yeah.

Number one is tomato soup.

Okay.

Two is broccoli cheddar.

Love it.

Soup.

Three is chicken and wild rice soup.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And French onion soup is the fourth of this.

Wow.

All right.

Okay.

Yeah.

What are your plans for those later?

We'll see.

Pouring them all in a big tub.

The dais, will we like a French onion soup over there?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah,

especially the Panera one.

Especially the Panera one.

I have not had the Panera one.

But you didn't get one for yourself.

No, I ate before I got here.

Okay.

We've really lost the Deis on

food during soup month.

More than anything, I'm just shocked by the lack of willingness to take advantage of a free meal.

That is shocking.

Yeah, for me, like even like, I, you know, because, like, uh, whatever, it's our podcast.

So, like, I like, you know, I'm still like any cont any situation where I was like, I can get a free meal.

I'm like, I'm fucking going for it, you know, to this day.

You're a little piggy.

Yeah, I guess you're right, Mitch.

Oink coincidence, a little piggy.

I'm a fat fuck, and I like to eat for free.

You writers, you're so spoiled in your writers' rooms.

I mean, this is the thing.

When you get that lunch order, and if it, if it's, I've been in writers' rooms where you're going out of pocket, but you get that, you get that good contract where they're covering lunch.

I'm like, oh, God, what a dream.

Our actors get slopped by comparison.

No, you're fucking catering.

What are you talking about?

You feel like a constant table full of snacks.

No one likes craft service.

No one likes that.

I actually genuinely don't eat craft service because I never want to go to the bathroom during the day.

So I'm not like, I'm not snacking.

But I will say that I'm probably more a fan of Robert Kraft being serviced.

What he does in his spare time.

That's his money.

He can spend it however he wants.

Do we cover every soup?

I think that's all the soups.

I mean,

any thoughts on the bread?

I think it was like

bread was solid.

It was fine.

I think I got good bread.

I like it.

If it's not old,

they're whatever.

French rolls are nice.

Yeah.

An octet of soups, but how does this rank overall?

We're going to, Jason, you did the podcast before, but just a refresher, we'll each go around, give a closing argument and give this a score from zero to five forks.

however because it is croc dough burn faest i had to read it again uh it is uh we are doing this not out of forks but rather out of soup forks soup forks so yes

didn't we do gator peens the other oh yeah dangle had us do gator peens so i guess actually we could mix it up for each for each episode do gators have peens i don't know this that's a great question they sure do

yeah okay yeah oh right yes

mitch they do they do we know we know we've been okay we've been tricked before enough said

we could we could we we could we could do anything we want we could do anything we want i mean we got the we had we have the uncut bread bowl we could always go do this out of zero to five uncut bread bowls

um

uh what else we got uh we got the

you know we got the

like it is it actually a soup or not zero to five you know disputed soups i'm just i'm just gonna say it out there Yeah.

Joaquin Phoenix's hog.

Yeah, let's say.

Zero to five Joaquin Phoenix hogs.

Yeah.

Okay.

Jason, your thoughts.

That would touch the bottom of the soup bowl if you catch my drift.

Your thoughts, your fork or hog score.

My Joaquin Phoenix hog score.

Now, this is for the totality.

Well, the totality of the soups.

Yeah.

I'm going to give it,

you know what?

Even though there are some that are not necessarily my favorites here, I'm going to give

a four and a half hogs out of five.

Wow.

Yeah, because I think it's just so consistent.

And I like

85% of the soups on this roster and I would eat them anytime.

Yeah.

And I'd be happy to eat any of them.

So I just think based on that alone, four and a half hogs.

Wow.

Very good score.

That's a great score.

Why?

Because I think it's you who called me a soupless bitch once.

Yeah.

Or did I call you a soupless bitch?

I think you called me a soupless bitch.

That feels more like a Mitch move.

I can't I can't even tell honestly

this was this is early doughboys game.

This is very early the phrase soupless bitch has popped into my head like a hundred times in the past like week or so, and I couldn't remember if it was from this or not.

So thank you for confirming this.

You got it from our project.

It's your fault it's in my head.

At one point, I didn't have a soup and I think you said you're yeah, you are a soupless bitch.

I think that's what happened.

I thought you said it to me.

Maybe I did.

Who knows?

I'm sure we could, I'm sure it's documented somewhere.

I'm sure we could find out.

Listener to let us know.

But I've never felt sorrier for soupless bitches than I did tonight.

Wow.

Because we had such a bounty of soups.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And

I thought all of them were good.

I didn't think that there was a single bad one.

There's ones that I liked less than others, but they were really, really good.

And if we're doing this, look,

is the restaurant doing what they do best?

This is croc dough burn foest.

And

I can't go below

five

five

Joaquin Phoenix hogs.

Wow.

I'm talking 45 inches total.

Holy shit.

Five.

I'm going to go.

Round or

oh, God.

Long.

45 inches long.

Nine times five.

I was thinking around nine inches.

But

yeah, five.

Five, five.

I'm going full five.

That is wild.

Okay.

I don't know if I can.

That's crazy.

No, I don't, I just, I am just surprised.

I don't know if I can go that high.

I don't know if I go all the way to five.

But I will say I was very impressed by this outing.

And in terms of like, hey, what is this chain trying to do?

If it's trying to, to sell us on soup, first off, a lot of soup for idols, a lot to choose from.

They were almost all hitting for me.

The ones that were really hitting, I really genuinely enjoyed.

And like I mentioned, I'll get that broccoli cheddar soup on my own.

I do like the black bean soup quite a bit.

I think these, these are, and yeah, I mean, the creamy tomato soup, you know, it's not my favorite, but I think that's a really good execution of it.

Even the ones that didn't work, I thought they were like, you know, they were giving it a good show.

I think this is a great soup chain.

Is this our top soup chain?

I don't know.

Like in terms of like, just here's an array of classic soups.

Here's an array of American comfort soups.

In terms of presenting that,

is this number one?

It's certainly in terms of its scale and in terms of its

omnipresence.

I think that absolutely is something that's in its favor.

But I was really impressed by this outing of Panera, and I'm going to go

for Joaquin Phoenix Pogs, which means welcome to the Golden Plate Club, or I guess the Golden Bowl Club

here for Proc Do Burn Fest.

What an outing by Panera.

That was really quite something.

I love it.

Well deserved.

Hey, it's time for a segment.

I've got a food-related examiner.

Mitch and Jason must compete for superiority.

It's Slop Quiz,

NBA Food Edition.

Wow.

All of these questions are related to the National Basketball Association and food.

All right.

First up, these start off pretty easy.

A lot of these were compiled by Emilia Marino.

This Gatorade campaign featuring Michael Jordan was called Be Like What?

Mitch.

I wasn't saying be like Mitch.

Yes.

That would be.

Is it Be Like Mitch?

No.

It's Be Like Mike.

It was Be Like Mike.

Yes.

We'll take it.

We'll call that a draw.

We'll have that be a tutorial question.

Next up, which two NBA legends faced off in McDonald's?

Nothing but Mitch commercial?

Michael Jordan and Larry Bird.

It was Jordan and Bird.

Mitch gets a point.

As I take score here, next up.

Okay, Mealy's keeping score.

Next up, as a rookie, NBA star Yanis Anta Decumpo excitedly tweeted about trying which food.

Oh, yeah.

I have options if we want options.

A, Chick-fil-A.

B, barbecue.

C, cheese curds.

D, a smoothie.

Jason, it's going to be a smoothie.

It was.

The tweet was, First Time I Taste a Smoothie.

1-0.

Man, God Bless America.

Really, really wholesome tweet.

Next up, in 2020, Jason gets a point.

In a 2021 Super Bowl commercial title called Happy, Anthony Davis and Jimmy Butler appeared in an ad for which beer brand?

A Coors Light, B.

Bud Light, C.

Michelob Ultra, D.

Heineken.

Jason, I believe it's Michelob Ultra.

It was Michelob Ultra.

Jason gets another point.

Shit, I'm getting stomped.

It's 2-1.

You're doing what?

You're doing fine.

You're all right.

You're fine.

You're okay.

It's a one-point margin.

I'm stomped.

In 2021, Anthony Davis partnered with Ruffles to launch his own chip flavor.

What was that flavor?

Oh, fuck.

I forget.

A Lyman jalapeno.

B, Smokehouse Style BBQ.

C, chili cheese.

D, cheddar and sour cream.

Mitch.

Cheddar and sour cream.

No.

I meant A.

Fuck.

It's the A.

It's the lime one.

Can we give you a point?

I'll give it to him.

Okay, Mitch gets the point.

Cheddar and Sour Cream is Tatum, right?

Or yes, right?

Hold that thought.

In that same year, this NBA star joined Davis in his partnership with Ruffles with his own flaming hot barbecue flavor.

Well, Mitch, I'm going to give it to.

What are the choices again?

A, LeBron James, B, Luka Doncic, C.

Giannis, D, Jason Tatum.

I mean, it's Jason Tatum.

It was Jason Tatum.

I can't just steal that point.

Annoyingly, that was my favorite of those flavors.

I wanted to like the Lyman jalapeno more.

I just thought the lime was a little science-y.

The flaming hot barbecue was delightful.

I really, really like that one.

Who gets that point?

I guess Jason did.

Jason did 100%.

I was trying to be, I couldn't steal a second point.

Next up, in a 2018 video, which former league MVP was seen sneaking snacks on the bench during a game?

A Russell Westbrook, B.

Kevin Durant, C.

James Harden, D.

LeBron James?

Jason, Russell Westbrook.

It was Russ.

Yeah, I didn't know this.

On the Thunder, and I believe he's eating a sandwich, but he's just.

I believe he was eating a sandwich.

Yeah, it's a fun video.

Next up,

what's the score?

The Red Sox lost.

Mitch 2, Jason 4.

Okay, Gay.

Which player signed a five-year deal with Mountain Dew as a rookie in 2019?

A.

John Morant, B.

Zion Williamson, C.

R.

J.

Barrett, or D.

Tyler Harrow.

Wait, what?

Which player signed a five-year deal with Mountain Dew as a rookie in 2019?

A.

John Morant, B.

Zion Williamson, C.

R.

J.

Barrett, D.

Tyler Harrow.

Do you know?

Yeah.

Do you really?

Yeah.

You can just.

Jason, it's John Morant.

It's not John Morant.

Wait.

Oh, Zion Williams.

It's a bitch.

Yes.

Williamson.

It is Zion, who I'm guessing did not ask for a spit bucket between takes.

He slimmed down.

He slimmed down.

God bless him.

He slimmed down.

But yes.

Next up, during multiple March Madness campaigns, which fast food chain ran spots with Reggie Miller moving in for the tournament?

A Wendy's, B, Burger King, C, Taco.

Wendy's.

It was Wendy's.

Mitch gets the point.

What are we at now?

It's tied up.

Okay.

We have three more.

Sorry, Jimmy.

Oh, Jimmy, what happened?

I clapped excitedly and she was done.

No, she's stretching.

She's good.

Jimmy hopped off the couch and gave a little stretch, and it was.

Maybe not claps, he'll come back.

Nope.

Yeah, we're going to.

Next up, in an awkward 2012 interview in which Orlando Magic coach Stan Van Gundy confirmed star Dwight Howard wanted him fired before Dwight obliviously interrupted, which beverage was Coach Van Gundy drinking?

Whoa.

A coffee, B, Gatorade, C, Diet Coke, D, sparkling water.

Diet Coke.

It was Diet Coke.

Jason gets the point.

Two more.

All the good questions were written by Wigs, by the way.

Your questions are great.

No, yours are better.

No, no, no.

Your questions are are great.

I just know some deeper cuts.

Was yours be like blank?

Which University of Kentucky legend turned NBA player went on to own dozens of Outback Steakhouse and Papa John's franchises?

A.

John Wall, B.

Tayshon Prince, C.

Jamal Mashburn, D.

Rex Chapman.

Jason, Monster Mash.

It is the Monster Mash.

Jamal Mashburn.

Jason gets the point.

I believe we'll win, but we'll do this last one.

Yeah, but this last ones were too queer.

This last one.

What's that?

What's the score?

It's four to five, Jason.

It's four to five.

Oh, okay.

So it's anyone's game.

Oh.

In 2018.

I don't think that's right, but it's nice.

Did I miss?

No, no, no.

No, who cares?

Just quiet.

Final question.

In 2018, as a Cleveland Cavalier, J.R.

Smith was suspended for throwing witch food at an assistant coach.

Oh.

A, spaghetti, B, a sandwich.

C, a protein bar.

D, soup.

Mitch, I'm just going to say spaghetti because it's fun.

It's not spaghetti.

Jason, it's soup.

It was chicken tortilla soup.

Jason, of course.

Of course.

Jason, get the hell out of here and go to the Dodgers game.

Jason Concepcion, thank you so much for joining us.

You got to go to the Dodger game.

You had an art out.

Thank you for being so generous with your time.

Always great to have you on the podcast.

Please come back sooner rather than later.

Please, please have me back.

Anything you would like to plug?

Listen to X-Ray Vision, wherever you got your podcast.

Listen to Game of Thrones Thrones pod, wherever you get your podcasts.

Watch Primo on Amazon Prime.

That's right.

Wow.

You wrote for that show.

I did write for that show.

Awesome.

People should check it out.

Yeah.

All right.

We'll take a break.

We'll be right back with more doughboys.

Mr.

Monopoly here.

Monopoly is back at McDonald's.

Register in the McDonald's app so you're ready to get your bag.

Two ways to peel for a chance to get your bag.

Physical peels with select items and digital peels with others to get your bag!

Play Monopoly at McDonald's.

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba!

No purchase necessary.

See rules at platemcd.com for full details and AMOE.platemcd.com to play without purchase.

Ends November 23rd, but bonus plays November 2nd.

Monopoly is a registered trademark of Hasbro.

Copyright McDonald's.

Hey, buddy, welcome back.

What the fuck was up with that shit about broccoli cheddar soup not really being a soup?

You embarrassed me in front of Jason Concepcion.

I like to stir things up a bit.

I guess it's appropriate they're stirring things up during soup month.

It is, wise.

It is croc dough burn faux.

I'm sure that that wasn't embarrassing to say in front of Jason.

You keep saying the

O for faux.

It's more of a pho sound.

Uh more of a pho, like a like a soft you.

Homicidal thoughts rising.

There's a breakthrough in Mon COVID and there's a medicine you can take that causes homicidal thoughts.

They just posted it in in the

first time, maybe ever, that news is broken to me in the Doughboys Reddit.

Wow.

Are there other people in the Doughboys Reddit who have also been like, you know, is that partly where the discussion comes from?

Or is it all a lunch?

I feel like there are other since since I've talked about Long COVID, I feel like there's been people, whether on the Discord or on, like, there's been people who DM me and stuff too,

that, that have, you know, that are dealing with it.

Also, now the subreddit knows that you are checking the Doughboys subreddit during a stop down

for a record so they they know you're just in there it's true and i'm glad that i did i'm not always in there but i was i looked i looked i was i don't know if we were we were waiting to start up again and then i i i i i looked at my phone and i what happened with your boss they lost that's also why i'm just trying to look at anything else i was distract distracting myself look at jemmy it's pretty cute scratching her ear scratching her ear she was there was a very cute video uh of her seeing haley and and uh when uh when you first walked into the house.

It was great.

We'll post it.

What's that?

Yeah,

you should post it.

It's a great video.

Yeah.

I regularly say, don't know what the fuck I did with my time before I got Jemmy because I spend so much of it just staring at her.

Animals are good animals.

Animals are good like that.

Man, she is really scratching at something.

What is going on?

Is she ear girly?

I'm getting her face a little bit too.

You need some help.

I'm still getting your ear too much.

Oh, now we're going for the butthole.

Hey.

Okay, okay.

Gemini.

I gotcha.

You want me to clean that thing out for you?

Jesus Christ.

Just like a restaurant value feedback.

That's a hold on.

Wait, before you get to that, yeah.

Hi, Mitchin Weiger.

I was speaking of Jemmy.

I was recently introduced to your podcast by my boyfriend.

His name is Rich, and he is a longtime listener and Patreon subscriber.

Wow.

He says to tell you he is indeed the schlubby one.

Me being me, I immediately started asking questions about Jemi, Wally, and Irma.

I spent many years in animal welfare, and now I handle community engagement and philanthropy for Pets Global, a SoCal-based pet food company.

I hope you don't mind, but I made a care package for your funny gang.

I made a, sorry, not funny gang.

I made a care package for your furry gang.

Yeah, it specifies not funny gang.

Yeah, yeah.

You guys are the not funny gang, but for your furry gang, I often feel bad that Jemmy doesn't get to join in on the feast, so I wanted to give her something fun to snack on.

I also have two tuxedos of my own, so I would never want to leave Wally and her out.

If your crew would ever be interested in having their own mini episode trying different foods and treats, I would love to help facilitate that.

We've got a ton of options in our signature and sorry, signature and fussy cat lines, and we're pretty local to headgum.

But either way, I hope they enjoy these goodies.

Sincerely, one of your newest listeners and a bit of a heat seeker, Ellie.

Wow, thanks, Ellie.

P.S.

We will also be sending a donation to Santa Dor in your name in honor of their help with Sonny.

Hey, how about that?

That's very kind.

That's so nice.

That's really sweet.

Sunny,

Sonny got adopted.

Sunny got adopted.

Sweet family.

Yes, we love Sonny.

We're happy that Sonny is doing well.

This was the cat that was discovered at Head Gum that you were fostering for a bit.

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yes.

Amelia saved Sonny's life.

So did you.

Get out of here.

I mean, not as much as you did.

But my cat's.

I don't deserve that much credit.

You also helped in some ways.

You kept me calm.

Yeah.

We kept you from killing the CEO of Headbone, maybe?

That night at the party.

I was going to kill everybody here.

It was funny reading people being, first of all, whatever.

People respond, and I know that I just said that I don't look at the Reddit too much, but people were like,

he was yelling at the CEO.

I'm like, shut up, you dorks.

It was a fine, everything was fine.

And I was trying to save the cat.

And we were right.

We were in the right.

I want to say to Ellie, thank you.

My Wally Norma loved Fussy Cat.

This is the truth.

And I'm going to buy him more Fussy Cat.

Oh, yeah.

And this was the Zig Zig.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Jemmy, they sent a bunch of treats for Jemmy, too.

We have not tried all of them yet, but the ones that we have tried, I can't remember which ones we've tried so far, but she loved them.

Perfect.

Yeah.

Good girl.

Anyways, I want to give a shout out.

Nice little care package.

What a lovely gesture.

I want to give a shout out to...

I have not been fucking with this, but I think I'm going to yell me up and give me some, I got to say, for the Spin Drift Island Punch.

Really?

Yeah.

Is there some in the fridge?

Yeah, there's some in the fridge, I think.

Okay, Mitch is standing up and exiting the studio.

Bring a second one.

I want to try it.

All right, I'll come back.

All right, Mitch is going to go retrieve some.

I'll be interested to see what the reaction is because, you know, it is an approximation of a punch, it being an unsweetened sort of tonic.

It matches your fit well.

I've been told that.

I've got the purple, for audio listeners, I've got this purple shirt and these purple shoes, and it's kind of a purple can color.

It's a slightly different hue, but it's close enough for uh for college rule as they say uh this is a uh it has a guava puree and a passionate fruit juice uh i'm passionate fruit juice just passion fruit juice

uh orange juice is the blend so guava passion fruit and orange uh 13 calories worth and yeah i think this is this is quite uh flavorful

let's see if this is a yum yum give me some

Let's crack some cans and let's hear it.

Let's hear the first.

Wow, a bonus drink or stank.

Did you hear me say yum yum give me some?

Yes.

Okay.

You said it out loud.

Did you think you said it in your head?

I don't know if you exited the room already.

I was like, that would be kind of an amazing bit of kismet if you said it independently.

No, I would never say that shit if not for you.

It's good, right?

Island Punch.

Here I go.

Yeah.

A drink from Wags.

What do you think, Spoon Man?

Yum Yum.

Give me none.

You didn't like it?

No, I do like it.

It's good.

Yeah, give it a drink.

It is.

It's a.

It's fruitier than I would expect.

It is very fruity.

Strong.

The passion fruit and guava are strong.

It's good.

I like it.

I think that a lot of the times I want more taste out of

a spin drift, and this has given me a lot of,

it's given a lot of flavor.

How's Adeus feeling back there?

I like it.

I like it.

Yeah.

Amelia, you're not going to sample any?

I'm going to sample some after the record.

Got it.

What the hell does that mean?

I should have let her try it first.

She doesn't like to share sips.

I don't want to get sick.

I understand.

It's fine.

Not that anybody's sick here.

I'm just trying to make them ahead.

She's.

Yeah, we're all pretty sick here, Amelia.

You got to be a little sick to work for the doughboys.

Hold on a second.

I know what this is.

What is it?

Because I had food poisoning, and she was like, and you were very afraid.

It's because of your big birthday.

It's just my birthday is on Friday.

I don't want to be sick for my party.

That is correct.

That's what it is.

I knew it.

Yeah.

You're going to be fine.

Well,

and you know what?

You should probably take a sip of the drink.

No.

Parties on Friday.

Yeah.

I'm going to call the cops on it.

We're calls the cops on a bar.

They show up.

They're like, he called ice.

What the fuck is wrong with him?

Oh boy.

Horrible world.

Anyway,

well,

there is a there is a

email, a question.

That's right.

Just like a restaurant via feedback, let's open up the feedback.

Today's email is from Chris HS.

Chris writes, it was my birthday this past week.

And at the suggestion of my supermodel wife, I signed up for the rewards program of every single chain restaurant in my area just to get a free birthday treat.

I ended up with at least 17 different gifts across the fast food spectrum.

This led me to wonder if y'all owned your own chain, what would the birthday giveaway be and why?

P.S.

Eating 17 different chain restaurant items in six days fucking sucks.

How in the fuck have you kept this up for 10 years?

Welcome to our world.

We're sick in the head.

Yeah, the answer is clinical depression.

Yeah.

We're not doing well.

Yeah.

What are you going to?

This is a good question.

I mean, I mean, like.

Good question because Amelia and I both have a birthday this year.

That's right.

You got you're both it's birthday season for both of y'all.

Libra season yeah libra season yeah what is the essence of a libra we're really fair and balanced is that true yeah

i kind of get it i kind of get it

i kind of get a king solomon vibe from mitch

fair and balanced like fox news

The scale is our

little thing.

It's the scale of justice.

That's fun.

I'm a Virgo.

Yes.

There's a lot of, i have mike's also a virgo and my mom our mom is a virgo so i got a lot of virgos around me how about that drop the o add an i in

uh i uh i i love libra season yeah it's i i'm very lucky that i am but you're you're not october officially right you're september september 29th okay very close you're in you're that's that is september great month to October is one of my favorite months.

October is my favorite month.

It's a great month.

It's a really good month.

Things cooled down.

You got Halloween.

So today is the spookiest of months.

Spookiest month.

I say that October is the Friday of the months.

If you had to put it into the months into days of the week.

October is the Friday of months.

So this means November's the Saturday and December's the Sunday.

Is that your?

That's not necessarily the truth, but October is the Friday.

And I get like November is kind of a Saturday.

You're having fun.

October feels like a half day and before a long weekend kind of.

Like November feels like Friday to me.

Although, then Thanksgiving's in November, so it kind of starts Saturday.

Yeah, yeah, hmm.

I mean, also, like, look, July, June, oh, June is also a Friday of, if you gotta put it, June is kind of a Friday, June is a Friday.

Wait, let's figure this out.

January is a Monday, right?

Well, look, there is 12, there's 12 months.

There's 10 days.

This could be a double.

This could be a double.

Should we not do it?

January is a Monday.

January is 100% a Monday.

And I think February is also Monday.

But you know what's funny is that January 1st is a Sunday.

And then as soon as you go back, it is a Monday.

It's a Monday.

It's like the Sunday of December bleeds into January 1st.

December 1st.

And then you're back into Monday and you're Monday.

You nailed it.

December is Sunday.

December is Sunday.

I think so, yeah.

And November, I think, could be Saturday.

It could be Saturday because Thanksgiving starts.

The holidays.

November is a Thursday.

You think November?

Because of Thanksgiving?

Yeah.

So we're going to go to the next step.

So Thursday is not a bad day.

Yeah, I like Thursday.

Thursdays are good.

It's like a thirsty Thursday.

You're like going out after work kind of Thursday.

I was going to say today's Thursday, but then I was wrong.

It's Wednesday.

But sometimes a Wednesday feels like a Thursday.

Hump Day, never my favorite.

So August to me is my favorite.

I'll tell you what.

This is August is tough because

is August a Sunday?

Well, August is my birthday month, but I don't really celebrate my birthday.

But August, I have some different.

I'm just saying I don't have the freshest perspective on August or the most objective POV there.

So, because to me, September is a Thursday.

Because September feels like September is like the start of fall.

September's a Monday.

Yeah, because it's

school's back.

School's back.

This is the issue.

And August also has this issue, too, is that, but also September is not bad in school.

It doesn't really feel like, it doesn't feel like a Monday.

It feels, fuck, I hated going back to school.

September is a Monday.

And I think also like for parents, it's like, oh, my God, we get the kids back to school.

It's like, there's an element, maybe, maybe, though also for parents, there's an element of like, oh, thank God the kids are back in school.

I don't have to, you know, look after them 24-7 anymore.

All right, so we got to break down the days of the week anyways.

Monday always just does suck.

Monday sucks.

Monday is red.

Does anyone else agree?

I do agree.

All right.

Hold on a second.

This is going insane.

I agree, though.

I said, Monday is yellow.

See, Wednesday's yellow.

Wednesday's blue.

Thursday's like a more orange yellow.

Sorry, you two are weirdos.

You have colors.

Is it like kinesthesia where you like see and you like hear color?

That's what I'm wondering.

Monday red, I can like, oh, I can track that, but the ones you start getting the other days of the week, it's like, oh, I don't have any sort of association with colors for any of them, but just like because Monday because red seems like bad, like

an error message or a stop sign.

Thursday Friday seems like blue or green, I guess, in my mind.

That's what I'm talking about.

You do?

I do get what she's talking about.

It is weird, but I get it

in a way.

October is is black and pur purple.

Okay, now I don't know what the fuck you're doing.

Well, that's like Halloween stuff.

I can see that.

That's like.

No, it's not black and purple.

Yeah, black and purple.

purple, black and orange.

Well, you can throw an orange in there, too.

But I think that feels also like kind of black and orangey.

Black and purple feels very like goth,

you know, slash Adams family.

Grimace.

Grimace, yeah.

Grimace is October.

Sacramento Kings.

Grimace is.

Hold on a second.

Hold on.

Just shut up for a second.

Chris H.

S., does this answer your question?

When I was a boy,

Monday sucked.

Tuesday sometimes could be half day Tuesdays, but then in high school that you you don't ever, you don't have those anymore.

I think also like as a working person,

like if you, again,

a lot of shift workers work on the weekends.

A lot of businesses are open all the time.

A lot of people work at 12 or 7.

But I'm saying like if you have like a square job, Monday through Friday job, a classic nine to five, although that I've never worked a job that's actually nine to five.

They're all fucking nine to six.

You know what I mean?

Like it's like people forget about the hour you have for lunch.

It's always longer than that.

Anyway,

the so-called nine to five, if you work in one of those jobs, Monday sucks.

sucks, Tuesday sucks, Wednesday sucks a little less because you can see the back end of the week.

Thursday is starting to feel pretty good.

Friday is heaven.

Saturday is great.

Sunday is good, but you also have Monday the next day.

So you feel like it kind of a little bit of anxiety.

They used to do Sunday fun days back in Quincy.

I mean, I know that's not an original thing, but they used to all get drunk on Sundays.

And I never.

Out here, I never part because I'd be working on Mondays.

Yeah,

even worse.

Yeah, you don't need time.

It's fucking horrible.

Yeah.

But Sunday, having fun on Sunday can be fun.

It is is fun to have fun on Sunday.

Yeah.

It is, it's fun to have fun on Sunday.

I, I,

when it was funny because, like, I, in school, I did notice that Thursdays were like a little better, but they still annoyed me because it just wasn't Friday.

Yeah.

But as an adult, you're like, Thursdays are good.

Thursdays are good.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday, you're in the that's great.

That's the, that's the, that's the, the, the, the apex of the week.

And Wednesdays, like, after we're done here, I'm done with this bullshit.

Uh, I will feel pretty nice.

Like, I'll feel nice.

But we, we, like, we used to record on Thursdays.

So that had more of the feel of

a Friday.

Yeah.

Anyway,

our record schedule is unique, and most people are not in the podcasting industry.

So

if you have a normal job Monday through Friday, or if you're in school Monday through Friday, I think that's like you think of that as like the core, like, this is the work part of the week.

Monday's the worst, Tuesday's the worst, and then Wednesday, Thursday, Friday get progressively better.

Monday is still worse than Tuesday.

Monday is worse than Tuesday, for sure.

But Tuesday is still bad.

Is anyone who likes

Monday more than Tuesday?

I wonder if that exists.

Anyways, should we try to reverse Garfield?

Yeah, who is the reverse?

Is there a black cat that has orange stripes?

Yeah, that's reverse Garfield.

That sounds like a Halloween cat.

It does sound like a Halloween cat.

Or purple stripes, Amelia.

I don't know if we can, I think we should do a double for the months.

Okay, we'll figure it out.

The days.

And colors.

Oh, figure it out.

We got days of the week.

And shapes.

Okay, Thursday.

Oh, god, damn.

A color yellow and a triangle are all the same.

Everyone has a hole.

Wow, I've never thought of the shapes, but I'm thinking about this.

There's people fucking driving off the road.

The Patreon just lost all of its subscribers.

Oh, you are out of your mind.

Look, I must record this right now.

Listeners, tell me you know what I'm talking about.

Look, I like the take.

I like the take.

Thursdays are triangles?

And yet, and the color yellow.

I was on the colors.

The shapes is throwing me, but I kind of like it.

A triangle is yellow.

Everyone can agree.

The essence.

Is that because the next time I do

be like, Amelia was right?

Maybe because of signs.

Squares are red.

I don't know.

They're just every everything has

an aura to it.

Wow.

Squares are.

Are you?

Are you a witch?

I guess is what I'm trying to say.

Yeah, are you a witch?

You have to tell us if you're a witch.

Yeah, if you're a witch, you got to tell us.

I'm not going to say.

Oh, fuck.

You're just asking to be a witch.

You're just asking to be like thrown in a river or wait against a swan or something like that.

We hired a witch, Logs.

We hired a witch.

What are you going to do?

It's not

um wait what was the question

uh yeah if you if you all owned your own chain what would the birthday giveaway be

i have it i have a pitch because i feel like a lot of these places give away like a drink or something like that or like you get a free scoop of ice cream cheesecake factory i know i love is you get a free slight piece of cheesecake and then the nice thing about that is you don't have to redeem it on your birthday you just have like a nice little window you can go ahead and get your free slice of cheesecake which is pretty gay that's what you want from the cheesecake factory i think a lot of of these places,

it's like, you know, it's like some sort of like token item.

It's not like what you actually want.

And I think it would be great on the burger boy to have a place be like, you get a fucking burger.

Come get your birthday burger.

And you know what?

Not only that, it's a special burger.

This is a burger you can only get on your birthday.

This is the birthday burger.

This is not a thing that's on menu.

This is huge.

A bespoke,

it's your burger day.

You come in for your

come in for your burg day, cheese frosting, quote unquote.

You get, it's got cheese frosting, it's got a little candle in it.

Um, it is the it is the birthday burg, and you're I think this would be a phenomenon.

Yeah, yeah, I think I think people would love it, and I think also, like, that's the other thing.

You're getting someone to come in for their birthday.

Some people are going to come in solo, sure, and they're just going to get the burger.

That's fine.

Um, but some people are going to go in and they're going to like, hey, I'm going to also get some fries, or maybe I'm going to come with my family, and they're going to order off the menu.

And all of a sudden, you're drumming up some new business and you're building that goodwill that's going to last throughout the year.

I love it, Wages.

And as the spoon man,

I got to have a place that gives you a spoon, a birthday spoon.

Oh, that's really good.

A little,

an actual metal birthday spoon.

Wow.

And when you're in the restaurant, you can use it to scoop up anything you want.

That's really fun.

Yeah, including other people's meals.

It's his birthday.

All right.

I think that for me, one thing I would bring back is singing.

It would be fun to have some singing.

So fun.

Come on.

no i'm like

i you don't you don't sung to on my birthday it makes me cringe like it makes me so uncomfortable i don't know why but here's the thing he doesn't he i'm sure he doesn't like it either but you like to witness it happen i do like people see it that's true i do like watching other people get sung too but is it they did like a little birthday birthday birthday whatever yeah it is your day or whatever who gives a what the song is before happy birthday to you is back in the public domain they ever was all they would all have their own birthday song yeah just do a little so i would love some sort of birthday song i think that would be fun to sing it to him and then texas Roadhouse, they used to wheel out a saddle and you had to sit on it.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

We have not reviewed Texas Roadhouse on the podcast.

We got to decide if that's something we're going to do at some point.

And here's what you get from, this is what you get.

And it doesn't matter what the chain is.

Warm Brownie Sunday.

That's what you get.

Yeah, Warm Brownie Sunday is always a good go-to.

And you know what?

You don't see enough of a Warm Brownie Sunday.

What the hell is going on?

I mean, I feel like it's like one of those like staple, you know, chain restaurant menu items.

And a lot of places are trying to try something a little bit different you know they're getting away from the classics but classics are a classic for the reason warm brownie scoop of vanilla yeah hot fudge a lot of fun whipped cream maybe

no one's complaining i i think hey maybe you could choose between the two you know speaking of speech speaking of custom spoons of special spoons my mom like she was like going through stuff and she found this old spoon she sent me um i guess there was a promotion for cheerio's cereal when i was a kid where you wrote in and i don't know if it was for like reading books or something that felt like it was like a school-related thing.

But for whatever reason, Cheerio sent this spoon back, and it's a custom spoon that

on the handle says, Nicholas did it.

Pretty quick

on top of Mission's Dead Body.

I was going to say,

when fucking

spoon man.

When what's his name?

Fucking knives out.

What the fuck?

Ryan Johnson.

No, no.

What is the detective's name?

Oh, well, Benoit Blanc.

Yeah,

that's going to be the big clue at the end of your fucking movie.

This is, this, he says, here, Nicholas did it.

This is just dumb.

Wake up, dead man in theaters this year, Wags.

Can't wait.

I thought you were going to tell the story about

you said this on the pod, that there was a spoon man.

Oh, yeah.

No, I said this on last week's episode.

But yeah, there's a guy, there was a guy, Gary.

There's a kid Gary at my school who was like, he had this, there's a whole thing.

He carried a spoon around.

There was a spoon man before me.

You're going to find the Mitch did it spoon on top of that guy.

I don't ever find him.

Wags, a good episode.

We're done for the day.

We're over hump day.

We sure are.

And you know what?

We're over the hump for the year.

We're in the Friday of the week of the year.

When you think about it.

We are in the Friday of the week of the year.

We are.

Here we are in October.

And

we're wrapping up in.

Well, we're not quite wrapping up.

I mean, we're getting close to dynamic.

You know what?

I guess you're right.

I guess we're getting close to the end end of it.

We're coming up on the back end.

We're now over the hump with the five mainline episodes we have here in October here for Croc Doba and Est.

And I'm just going to say we have an announcement about the show.

Yes.

At some point soon.

We do have an announcement about the show at some point soon.

That's all.

I'm just going to leave it on that.

That's all we're going to say.

If you have a question or comment about the World of Chain Restaurants, you can email us at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830.

Go to that.

830-463-6844.

Our producers Emma Ernbrink.

Our associate producers Amelia Marino.

Our video editor is Mike Dorfman.

Doughboys Merchandise at kinshipgoods.com/slash Doughboys.

And the Doughboys DAA weekly bonus episode, plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog over at patreon.com/slash Doughboys.

As Jason Gonzepsion mentioned, check out Primo on Prime.

Check out the X-Ray Vision podcast and check out the official Game of Thrones podcast.

I love it.

Yeah.

What a day.

Sounded somber what you said with this announcement about the show.

All things must pass.

Yeah.

Announcement about the show coming soon.

Until next time for the Spoon Mac Mike Mitchell, I'm Tiger Weiger.

Happy eating.

See ya.

And we're back live during a flex alert.

Dialed in on the thermostat.

Oh, we're pre-cooling before 4 p.m., folks.

And that's the end of the third.

Time to set it back to 78 from 4 to 9 p.m.

Clutch move by the home team.

What's the game plan from here on out?

Laundry?

Not today.

Dishwasher?

Sidelined.

What a performance by Team California.

The power truly is ours.

During a flex alert, pre-cool, power down, and let's beat the heat together.

That was a hit gun podcast.