SUPERFLY #44 - Dudes on Dudes w/ Gronk and Edelman

David, I don't know if you know this about me, but I've always been a fan of exploring new places. Not like you kind of, you know, no, no offense.
And one of my best trips, listen up, is when I stayed at an Airbnb. Felt like I was living like a local with all the space, comfort of home.
You know, hotels can be a hassle room service. And then the housekeeper housekeeping it's a hassle so then

you go to airbnb and you can get whatever you want a little cottage this and that it's fantastic you have your own separate space so it's a great product for people who travel david yes i have friends doing one of these right now if you have a home you can airbnb it it's fantastic i mean um to to monetize your home when you're not there seems like a good idea i mean look i'm on the road a lot i could probably do it it's it's something that people can do when they travel they have extra space or you're at a place not full-time you come in the winter you leave in the summer that's something you should think about it's a way to get some extra money and uh it's a cool experience your home might be worth more than you think yep find out how much at airbnb.com slash host this is a message from sponsor intuit turbo tax taxes was waiting and wondering and worrying if you're going to get any money back and then waiting, wondering and worrying some more. Now taxes is matching with a TurboTax expert who can do your taxes as soon as today.
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Okay, let's start Superfly.

Here we go, Dan.

All right, I've been working on a theme.

Oh, you have?

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Superfly. I've done that horn noise before.
You have done it. That's F Troop from 1972, a Western.
It's just a funny, probably came from vaudeville, where the trumpet fades down. down you know what the trumpet is funny because pac-man does it too i can't do the impression but when you get killed it goes it goes you know you get killed yeah that's funny f troop we shouldn't talk too much about because no one remember but i do remember do remember it.
Well, all you're saying is substitute whatever age you are. This is a comedy western.
I don't know if there's a comedy western out there in the world right now, a half-hour comedy western. It'd be funny.
Pure comedy and very silly. It was different.
It was during the Cold War. They do a comedic Yellowstone.
Let's do it. I like the alpha.
I'm enjoying Landman currently with Billy Bob Thornton and John Hamm and others. And John Hamm and Billy Bob Thornton are hysterical.
And Billy Bob Thornton's character is so fun and so badass. He's down in Texas and he's just kind of a shoot by the hip kind of guy.
Now, you can either suck my dick or you can squash my balls, but you got to pick something. You know, it's like.
Your partner. Partner.
Yeah, it's a really fun show. It's called Landman.
Landman on Paramount+. I think it's like your partner partner yeah it's just it's a really fun show it's called landman landman on paramount plus see if you can get download that thing is the guy's name taylor sheridan that does yeah 35 spinoffs he apparently went out to lunch with someone and then on the right hand he had a word processor to his right he's ordering lunch and eating and and he finished a Yellowstone sequel script.
No, the guy writes a shit ton. The next sequel is just a contest winner.
Gets to be the lead because he's running out of people. But what was I going to tell you about that? You said you saw Billy Bob.
Yeah, because we should have him on. Love Billy Bob.
Love to have Billy Bob on and love to have Jon Hamm back. Hamm is a stud, yeah.
And that's a good one to talk about. Because I tried to get Paramount Plus the other day.
Of course, I couldn't compute it and how to get it on my TV. I wrestled with the algorithm for about two and a half hours and then watched a 40-minute show.
So it was still a pretty good ratio between that was my password. Try again.
Really? I don't have another one. Okay.
Put in your real name. Here's the scam that drives me bananas.
You want your, here's your password and you write it in it. You can't see it.
So of course I got it wrong. Then he goes, so you want to keep this, you want this to be a new password? And I go, yeah.
And he goes, that doesn't fucking work. And it doesn't work anyway.
So I'm like, why are you asking me that? You're just embarrassing me now. Everyone saw I have a password.
I have one secret one that I made intentionally difficult, but sometimes I have like Bob or something. And then the algorithm gets really mad.
This is the ease of it. What the fuck are you doing? What are you doing? Yeah.
They now, because of AI, they swear at you. What the fuck are you doing? I'm going, I'm just trying to watch Landman.
I don't need a lecture from a robot, bitch. They go, your password to Netflix is actually just Netflix? And I go, yeah.
And they're like, no, no, no. See, now are you joking with us? Because we don't like that at the password.
Well, you sound like an AI then. Maybe AI will be kind of jerks.
So what do you want to do with this? The AI goes, okay, hold on a second. You need one emoji.
You need a big letter, capital, whatever they call them. Yeah.
You need a comma, a capital something, a letter, a word, and you need a kind of an emoji of some sort of antelope that would be common in North America 200 years ago. I give them the ball of yarn because no one uses that.
Very underused emoji. I'm not paid to say this, but the one thing that works for me in my relationship with my computer is fucking amazon delivery they are ruthlessly they just leave it they take a picture they throw it over the gate fuck around they you can trace it it's not sophisticated it's just really efficient and then other algorithms you try to watch the show and they're wrestling with you they're you're really in a fight you you're in an emotional fist fight for an hour.
Listen, I'm not paid by emojis, but I spend, for how old I am, which is late 30s, I spend most of my day looking for funny emojis. Too much time.
That's great. Too much time.
I don't have a setting where I start to type it in and it shows up. So I have to fucking old school raw dog it and go look for him or whatever.
We talk about nothing too much. I will tell you.
Well, nothing is good because here's the nothing. So you're kind of busy in life because I don't want to make this show business.
You're busy and you're getting requests for something on your emails. And you kind of punt on them, meaning later, later, later., and then you land it's Thanksgiving vacation.
So now you have to disappoint people. You know, no, I can't make it.
I would like, I won't be available. I can't.
So my therapist said to me, always say to yourself, it's good for them. The people asking, but is it good for you? Then she goes, can you do this charity for my kid? And you're like, really therapist? And I say, it's good for you, but is it good for me? And she goes, you got an A plus.
You're half off today. So that'll be $700.
What about, we're doing a gig in Fantasy Springs. You know that? We're doing a gig.
I know. It's funny.
This is our first big public gig since we started the podcast.

Citing.

Since we started the podcast. We've done some live podcasts, but just Spade, Carvey, Fantasy Springs, Palm Springs.
What's it called? Fantasyland? Fantasy Springs. I think I played there.
It's like 7,000 seats. We better pull up our socks.
It's going to be great. Pull up our socks and give them the good stuff we don't know who should i don't want to follow this dandy who's oh yeah we gotta figure that out this dandy is in top fit shape and i'm just working on it i just did reno dude i did uh my last two gigs of the year we might do a we might do a show at the comedy store next week me and you you, we might do a podcast, but that'll be announced soon.

That'd be fun.

Yeah, let's do that.

We got, so this show, this coat, which pops, and obviously everyone's buzzing about it,

and the chat rooms are buzzing right now.

Well.

But I only wore it because all I had was my boring gray V-neck and a white T-shirt,

and I didn't want to go in my Gurvitz Halloween costume.

That's what he wears to every lunch. I'm sorry.
Is this Prada? I'm sorry. Is this cashmere? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I have a shirt just like yours, except mine's expensive.
This is the world's greatest leather jacket never to be made again. I just brought it out because I don't want the heat on because I worry about the climate.
So it's cold in this house. You're always worried about it doesn't have belt buckles or fanciness it's very thin it's just people can see it you won't be able to find it anywhere i'm sure you've had that experience you get a really cool jacket a great shirt and then and then it it gets lost or something never again they never make it literally go everyone hated this coat we're not making anymore and oh, it's my favorite coat.
But okay, got it. Right.
Let's get a heavy leather coat with belt buckles on it. Before we get to a couple of stories, and also we have surprise guests, Rob Gronkowski and Julian Edelman.
From the football fame. From Go Football.
Go Sports. All pro superstar football players.
That should be the name. And Super Bowl winners.
Yeah. A good podcast name would be Go Sports.
Because that's what people say when they don't know anything about the sports they're at. They're like, Go Sports.
They don't say for the team or anything. Yeah, they don't get it.
They don't know. The kids would play CYO basketball.
Like three foot tall people doing basketball. You know, it's just it's so funny that age group of kids trying to do basketball and they're double drippling running around.
And this one dad, all he would do was yell, get the ball, just get the ball, get the ball. He's screaming the whole game.
This one guy had a kid who was six feet tall in fifth grade and that kid had like 60 rebounds. I go,'s got 60 rebounds boy he's tall he goes it's got nothing to do with his height he just wants the ball he just wants oh yeah nothing nothing he's just a hard worker yeah he could be three three and still get the ball okay go ahead how about this dana i was in sacramento doing a.
Sack of tomatoes? Mm-hmm. I was in Sac, and then I had to drive to Reno.
Simple enough on paper. Yeah, you could do that.
Gurvitz and Alex Murray, my guys that book my road gigs, are like fucking Colonel Tom Parker. They're like, Elvis, you can do another one.
So I just like, I'm just getting like buried. You don't want to let down your family, do you? That's what he would do to Elvis.
Yeah, you don't like money. Elvis would be like, I think I'd like to take a break, Colonel Toma.
Maybe just a week off. You want to hurt your daddy? No, sir.
Where do I go? Poor guy. He already got a new belt.
What does he need? I have millions of dollars.

That wasn't a belt. It was a dinner plate with a leather strap around it.
That was the largest belt. I can't imagine Elvis's response when Colonel Tom said, all right, Elvis, we got your outfit for Vegas.
Let's unveil it. They unveiled the curtain, and it's like the white jumpsuit with the bell bottoms bottoms hey wow why do i gotta have a dinner plate for a belt buckle and bell bottoms you know a big old collar the size of some kind of macy's pharmacy why do i gotta wear what whitney cummings wears in her podcast or did he like it i liked elvis let's have her back on she's a she's a pistol Did you have a good Thanksgiving? Is it already over? That's right I love everyone knows We don't even know when these air are Look, it's Thanksgiving time This is the Thanksgiving Did you have a good Thanksgiving week? People don't know that we're filming this in Juneune or something from last year we stack them in august and then spread them out throughout the year dana would you rather i'm gonna tell you about thanksgiving in a second would you rather if it's snowing and raining drive from sacramento to reno uh with chains mandatory chains takes roughly five hours.
Through Donner Pass.

Over Donner Pass. And then drop down, because you're trying to get to Reno.
Yeah. Oh, you're trying to get to Reno.
Well, you would just get on the 80 and just go. Ooh, the 80? And go over the 8,000 foot thing where it's going to be a wide out.
You're going to have to get chains on or not change. Mandatory chains.
People don't understand. You're getting paid to transport.
You're not playing Sacramento. You're not playing Reno.
You're getting paid to get David Spade to Sacramento and then get David Spade to Reno in a blizzard. In a blizzard.
Let's just call it what it is. And then all the locals are like, I don't know.
I go, it's probably like a no-brainer. It's easier.
I don't need to fly. And they're like, well, we Donner Pass where they eat everybody.
You know about that story. Yeah.
Make sure before you get to Donner Pass, you've had a good meal at a diner or something. Because something about the ghost of Donner Pass, you start eating your wife's leg before you even think about it.
For people that don't know, they would remind me, oh, I go, what happened there? They go, oh, I think only 80 people got stuck there and they ate 40 of them. The real story, there's a documentary on it.
Yeah, the real story. We shouldn't go into it on a podcast.
I'm the mayor Tahoe city. And I say eat before you get in that general vicinity of Donner.
But then if you eat a lot, then you're going to be the first one. E10, right? Uh, yeah, they would pick straws.
Some, some did very well, you know, some, some, but, but basically they were found by people in Sacramento. They were discovered, but they couldn't get them all over the pass.
So then more eating. They thought, you ate people? Yeah, but we're not going to do any more.
We just got rescued. And then they did more? But then they left.
They weren't back in time. So guess what, Wilbur? You're for dinner.
Hey, Wilbur. Then they got home, and they just did it by habit.
They ate their friend. Hey, Steve.

Hey, fucking.

I just ate Wilbur. You see the barbecue there?

Can you lay on it?

Put two and two together.

Hard to get a funny, light cannibal joke.

But anyway, you made it to Reno.

Did you crush?

Reno was super fun.

Reno's a great crowd. My new special, my new specials precious cargo should be coming out in april is it precious cargo closer to you how they're fixing the camera oh the laptop i don't want to ruin the illusion people think i'm just sitting here but there is a laptop involved um let's do uh a couple things and we'll get to those guys okay let's show let's do a couple stories anything we'll just do a quick quick version of this okay it's a top version because we're getting to okay here we go oh no crypto investor oh this story okay i was gonna save this but it's too fucking juicy crypto investor pays 6.2 million for a duct tape banana on a wall.
Now I heard about this story because I'm, I really have my ear to the tracks in the art world. My brother's very involved.
So this is the kind of weirdo stuff. My brother would love.
Andy once did an art exhibit in a space in New York where he had all cactuses lined on the bottom of the floor in a small place and all helium balloons on the ceiling. And they would just eventually come down and pop.
So it's just about eventually we're all going to die. It was pretty heavy and everyone's like this, heavy man, heaviosity.
So it was cool though, I thought. Anyway, this guy, someone artist in quotes, taped a banana to a wall with duct tape and said, this is art.
And then they took it to, I think, Art Basel and they call it comedian. and so it happened five years ago and then I think after a while someone saw it ripped it off and ate it

and said that's my art

performance art And I think after a while, someone saw it, ripped it off and ate it and said, that's my art. Performance art.
I'm eating your art. Do you ever go to art museums and walk around and see the French Impressionists? Well, you mean the real art? I mean, look.
Well, Bernie Bernstein, our former manager, God rest his soul, used to go, yeah, you guys should make fun of fake art. Fake art.
Well. It's fake.
Can I tell you the most outrageous fake art that I've heard of? Because my brother was living in New York and he's an artist too. Worse than the tape banana.
Oh, yeah. So this artist, what he did was he made a faux floor.
So you'd walk in, you'd go up a step.

So you're going to the art museum and you're up on a floor.

And then you see a thing and it says that the artist is naked underneath the

floor.

I'm not making this up.

Crawling around and pleasuring himself.

And that was the art exhibit.

Yeah.

I mean,

I have no response.

It sounds. Okay.
No, I'm i i get it because i've seen a great piece of art performance naked people close together like this in an art space and the crowd has to walk through them and kind of bump through and that's it i mean there's a woman that just sits and stares at you. Are we in the wrong business?

I mean, if you're getting paid. Are we in the wrong business?

I thought crypto was a scam.

I mean, my God, I'm in the wrong biz.

I'm traveling over Donner Pass,

spraying my body with raids so no one eats me.

You're like Everest.

You got ice picks out and boots and sweaters.

Get up and go propel.

The show's at 830. Caratops opening.
Not a Chili's in sight. They go, ready for dinner? And I go, is there a Chili's? And they go, you're the dinner.
So Donner Pass is all the way to Reno. It's all the way.
I don't know. I don't know.
I just. Ever had this one? First world problem.

You order.

You've timed your dinner for room service because you want to just get energy, but not be stuffed to go to do the show.

And you're like, oh, it's a little late or I can't.

And you call back.

Oh, so sorry, man.

We forgot to put it in.

Yeah.

And the stove broke.

Do you want some potato chips?

Yeah.

There's a vending machine on your floor.

Road, road work.

I think that's the book, All Right, Life on the Road.

Yeah.

Everything but the show.

That's what the book's called.

Yeah.

Show's fun.

Okay, so I guess we're over the banana and the tail.

Well, I mean, it's crypto.

Is that real money?

And did the guy who bought it,

is it speculative?

I like the fake crypto guy

bought the fake art.

I just think it's all money laundering

and in my own humble opinion,

but you're just buying something

that say costs a lot

and then you can sell it to someone else.

He spends a lot.

I don't know.

Well, there is a hypnotic thing.

If you put a number,

like a comedian demands $100,000 for a corporate date they go well that guy that guy's a hundred thousand dollar comedian yeah yeah and that pain right there i don't know if i like it that's a 10 million dollar pain i'm starting to like it so what do you like it's like baseballs sign michael george i mean there's some stuff i think are cool that are like one of a kind thing that's feel like a tangible asset. It's scarcity to that.
There's only so many Michael, um, Michael Douglas or Michael, Michael Johnson, all the Michael, Michael Jordan. There's it's scarcity.
And so that creates memorabilia like that. Like I have the Beatles Capitol record signed by all four and that's worth a pretty good amount yeah give me maybe that for my birthday okay here's the next one cheating on your spouse is no longer a crime in new york was it a crime what what what was it a crime that's the first question is it adultery is no longer a crime in new york after governor Kathy, is it Hochul? Hochul? Hochul.
Appealed a 117-year-old law that classified it as a misdemeanor. Okay.
Misdemeanor for 90 days in jail. I mean, how many times have they convicted people? I think they just, the punishment is you get divorced.
Well, what they do, if it's a guy cheating, they give him female jailers and see if he'll cheat again. If it's a woman cheating, they give a male jailer, see if she'll cheat again.
That's the little game they used to play. And Chaplin would set up little weird 1910 cameras.
And anyway. Dude, that show Cheaters was rough, but I used to watch it so rough.
A girl would go, I think my dude's cheating.

And then they'd follow him with the camera crew to their car while they're making out or hooking up.

She'd pound on the window and they'd get a whole crew of like eight union guys filming you.

They'd come on half naked.

What are you doing here?

This is a work friend.

There's so much content.

I'm just going to say.

You're in the wrong business again.

You could be on the crew of cheaters. Let's make reality shows what are we doing god dang here's my new reality show you want to hear it this is a real idea okay it's called i'm around and it's basically me and my loser friends because every time we go to lunch we walk back to the car and he's like all right let me know what's going on i'm around i go okay well i got a gig saturday but i'm around and then i go okay i gotta go do this but then i'm around i'm around someone's around i think it's shy men to be afraid of showing their feelings i'm around rather than hey man i'll call you let's i definitely want to hang on go to a movie it's a very, if you want to go, I'm around.
I've distilled life to this. Could I just put this out here? Yeah, please.
Life is just about most of life for almost everyone is just, do you want to go over there? Yeah, okay. Hey, maybe tomorrow we'll go over there.
Yeah, I think I'm going to go over there again too. It.
Yeah. Most of life is just hanging out and going places.
Jerry used to say, you want to go out, and then you want to go back. So you'd be out, let's go out, everybody go out, we're out, we're out.
I think I'm going to go in. Let's go in.
Yeah, hey, what'd you do today uh oh we went to uh went to a park

then we went to this uh little uh little restaurant that's a good day how many more

days you think you have on planet earth about 600 000 days of want to go over here tragic it's

you want to go over there bleak bleak oh my dad used to go, I stayed in this little fleabag hotel. And bleak.
It's quite bleak. Bleak is a funny word.
Okay. Well, let's get to these guys.
Are we doing one more story? What do we want to do? Up to you. One more story.
Okay. Oh.
Oh. Talk about wealth and excess.
The Kardashians got a private. Now, this is not shocking to anyone.
Private showing of Wicked. Before it comes out.
You don't have to play the sound, even if it's too loud. Oh, what it's like to be rich.
Because yesterday, the Kardashians revealed that Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo threw them and their families and they came screening of the wicked movie. Take a look.
Kim Kardashian posted this on her story. Those balloons alone are over my budget.
So they have all these pop ups. They have a green wicked carpet.
They have one trillion flowers. Streamers are the cheapest thing in the book.
So this is in their house. Some one of their.
One of their wings of the house, screens. And then like a full toy store of wicked stuff from Ariana.
Well, it's a normal childhood for the kids. Don't get spoiled.
This is a one. Oh, this is before everyone got to see it.
So this is even more special. Way, way more exclusive.
And they say, kids, we only do this once a week. So let's not get used to it.
It's not an everyday thing. If I was from Boston and heard this, I would say, that's wicked smart.
That's wicked smart. That's wicked awesome.
That's wicked awesome. That's wicked smart.
I love that the Kardashians have monetized. Hey, look at all the stuff we have and our planes and what we can do and they're still likable.
Somehow it just sort of works for them. What's the part? No I said they were there the two stars were there.
They were there and they were like giving them everything and signing everything and just being like, here's a Funko of myself.

And all right, rolling.

And then they play it and they all sing along.

And I'm like, God dang.

Here's my guess.

And I don't know, but do you think that the two actresses that went to the event got paid?

Oh, they might have gotten paid. There's secret paydays going on all over the place dude i'm not uh privy to them because oh sorry i won't be available on that day excuse me um what i have a gig a million dollars you know let me check my calendar you know let me i maybe i can push some things around.
Yeah. I'm going to, I'll get back to you.
Yeah. Must be rough productions.
All right. Let's bring on our guests.
I'm going to go change my outfit so we can interview these guys. Me too.
I'm going to put on a black hooded sweatshirt because I wanted to get ready to rumble. Oh, hoodie.
Cause it's tougher. It's like football.
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Like a Belichick hoodieick hoodie. Yeah, yeah.
Okay, so here we go. We got Rob Gronkowski and Julian Edelman, and we're going to talk about a bunch of stupid shit.
Superstar football players. Omaha.
Omaha, Dana. That's what Peyton Manning used to yell out.
Oh, yeah. Omaha Steaks.
Did he yell steaks, too? I don't know. Maybe.
I don't know. Omaha Steaks.
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They can almost say biannual doesn't that mean twice am i crazy yeah biannual so there's lots of ways we'll get into that uh next time we talk about this is heartland quality food delivered right to your door that's the convenience it's winter you might want to throw some on the grill on the barbie so uh listen exceptional handcrafted flavor convenience all the things you want to throw some on the grill, on the Barbie. So, uh, listen, exceptional handcrafted flavor, convenience, all the things you want to hear.
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sports, entertainment, and beyond to talk about the wildest moments, toughest lessons, and why breaking the rules might just be the key to success. Follow and listen to Rule Breakers with Soraya, an Odyssey podcast available now for free on the Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts.
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That's linkedin.com slash candidates to post your job for free terms and conditions do apply dude dude how you doing roger the alum is that one of them that's that's that's a dude oh he's got his fucking shirt on How are you, Julian? Hey, man. Good, how are you, folks?

Well, we can't start now can we i guess we can is i think rob will be here in two minutes are you in the same room with him probably not huh geez geez anybody anybody like themselves look at that wall patriots me, me, me. Wow.
And it's a little messy. It reminds me of you.
Where are your Emmys? Whoops. Somebody likes themselves.
I love people who have one Emmy. Whoops.
Some people. Is he an Emmy? No, I'm just saying.
I'm talking about my awards. He's got every Pop Warner.
This is Julian Edelman behind his chair. He's gone to get headphones.
He's got a lot of awards. This guy.
Fucking pipsqueak award in third grade for a guy that tried the hardest in football. He started, yeah.
He started out tiny. How tall is he? 4'11"? He went.
He started high school. Let's tell him he's the Kevin Hart of football and he'll beat the show no he's not he grew but no he's he's short for that world which is like six three or something i like how he goes oh i'll go to radio shack where did he go they just want to say this is like when people go hey i'm here i'm a half hour late and then they go i gotta go to the bathroom so they touch base like i'm at the restaurant i gotta leave again don't count this is my time i'm late i'm here so he pops in gronk doesn't even know there's one today he's just still trying to turn his fucking laptop on he's in front of an xbox right now oh he is here dude he's literally phoning it in

hey bud yeah i gotta i gotta unleash the snake i gotta go piss okay i gotta go lay down a king

kong finger poop uh he's vertical he's vertical god that's because he's phoning it on his phone

He's literally funny.

Yeah.

Look at that.

We've got ring lights. I like that.

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wasn't taking a number two that was a number one so i'm good i like this ghetto ramshack podcast operation a

kitchen chair you guys have a great set for dudes dudes on dudes i mean this is this the dude set it's pretty high end show right now right we're on that you've made an episode i know you're you've done a few episodes this is dudes on dudes on steroids because we're doubling up with you two so thank you guys fuck yeah dudes

dudes

what up dude you guys wouldn't remember this old sandler album where it was dude hey buddy hey dude buddy dude that was me old old days that was on one of those old albums his first album and it was called 90s yeah and we all played we just talked like that dude buddy buddy dude and then homie chris rock was homie uh i don't know why um anyway guys thanks for coming uh i'm sorry one of us two two of us were late. Look at Rob left again.

There we go.

I just wanted to turn off that fact.

It was annoying.

Better.

Uh-huh.

Dana, I will tell you quickly to briefly let you know who these guys are.

I know all about them.

They broke my heart many times.

I was.

Oh, yeah.

But I became a Patriots fan.

At some point you had to just go.

You have to.

Yeah.

You were like the chiefs of the day.

Can you explain how we broke your heart Dana? Like who's your team then? Yeah, didn't you just did you take apart my Niners at some point? The 49ers? Oh, I mean, we didn't really play the 49ers. We played them like two times in our career.
We never played in the playoffs or anything so you can't be too disappointed who did you beat in your super bowls you have four three who'd you beat who'd you whip ass on come on dudes falcons destroyed fucking pussies go ahead seahawks and never like us we lost in indy against the giants sore sub yeah that was bad oh yeah other super bowl we've lost two super bowls in cold weathers cities minnesota and indianapolis is it a real thing when they say they're playing outside like the dolphins are playing in the snow they're not going to do well because they're're not used to it. Yeah, that's a real thing.
A hundred percent. I mean, you're kind of just used to that warm weather.
And right when you hit that warm weather, you're kind of like warmed up and you're loose and all that good stuff. When you come up to the cold, man, it's a whole different feel, especially in the, in the hitting game.
I mean, yeah, you can run around and run routes and not get touched, but as soon as you have contact and it's freezing cold out, it's a whole different type of mentality that you've got to have. And you've got to kind of establish that throughout time.
So yes, it's a big advantage if you're up in New England. But it's also an advantage for the hot weather team when we go there.
We always used December when, you know, it's fricking 30 degrees, 20 degrees in Boston, you go down and it's 92 with 80% humidity in Florida. Like that's tough for us.
You always have a home field advantage of where you're at, which is going to be really cool to see in this new college football playoff with, you know, these SEC teams having to go up to the big 10, go up to Ohio or Michigan or, or vice versa to see the, you know, the big 10 schools go down to the SEC and play in the heat. That's, that's part of home field advantage.
Are you mad that you don't get paid to play college? That would have been nice, right? I can't even imagine. You look at the damn player lot of Georgia, there's like seven Lamborghinis.

I played that for 12 years.

I've never seen that many Lamborghinis.

They can't leave college.

It's a pay cut, right?

And I mean, you guys,

they're making $4 million.

The gymnast is very attractive. When you watch a game, it's like this.

The quarterback, who's a transfer from Georgia,

just threw to the halfback,

who's a transfer from ASU.

It's just like, Jesus, it's hard to keep track of who's on what but I know everyone's making way more money than me it is it's it is hard to keep track and there eventually has to be a rule in place to kind of you know manage it a lot you know better than what it is right now I mean like five transfers you can possibly have is kind of ridiculous they need to limit down the amount of transfers you can have throughout your college career and then also eventually i feel like there might need to be like a salary cap for each team yeah no shit it's like so unfair like georgia alabama i mean they got boosters that are billionaires and they can just boom write any type of check and then you go like to the max schools and like those guys like there's there's no boosters or anything that are writing big checks like that so unfair's so unfair. But, like, it needs to be managed.
And, like, there has to be some type of thing. Because it's so new, right? I agree.
I think Michigan just snaked a guy. It's the Walla Walla West still.
I mean, to be a free agent every year for the player, that's got to, I mean, that would be insane. You don't even get that in pro football.
I mean, you could literally go play a really good year in Alabama and make like $6 million and then say, I'm going to hit the transfer portal and go make $10 million at Georgia, which is crazy. You're a free agent every year.
What would you ask for? Wait, if I was in college? Yeah. What would you be your bottom line? $2 million?.
And a Lambo? Gee, I don't know. I was so happy.
It would be fun to figure out what your worth was, like who's coming to you with what. You'd be like, that paltry bullshit? I'm not going for that.
Because you look at other guys, you go, am I better than that guy? Am I better than that guy? Right? That's how it works. Where does, I'm sorry, I just need to, I'm not an expert on this.
Where this where does name image and likeness integrate with this transferring and getting more money is it just a separate lane or is it well first off dana it's not really name image likeness that's just okay they said it by but it's really just getting paid by the boosters or the school whoever's paying them because these guys i'm my life right now is name image likeness an ambassador for a couple of companies. Same with Julian.
I actually have to go out there and go to

these companies, business meetings and meet everyone and mingle and go on air and talk about

the business. These guys, oh, here you go.
Here's a check for your name, image likeness. And then you just go out and play football.
So they're technically not getting paid for that. They're technically just getting paid to go play football.
But some of them are influencers and have like 20 million Instagram followers and stuff. And that's those are the guys.
Yes. Those are the guys taking advantage of their situation right now in college.
So then they can have a long term program. So those influencers and tick tockers or bloggers or whatever they are, they're building a fan base now.
So let's say what football is done with or they go to the NFL, then when the NFL is done with, they're building their fan base up. So then when they're done playing sports, they can go out there and still have an audience and still make some big money, I guess.
Whatever happened to keeping the main thing the main thing like football? I know. I know.
I was about to say, remember Juju Smith with his TikToks and people didn't love it yeah so you come in going look at how many followers i have i'm a regular dixie d'amelio and they're like well how about just play football put your phone in your locker and then let's see what happens at the end of the year old school i mean you know look at the tyson fight i mean that you know fame equals money i mean would you guys fight each other for 20 million each or would you fight you know rob would fight tyson for five million i would i would definitely i think i would fight anyone out there in the world in the boxing ring not ufc ufc is too much i mean that's brutal but i would box anyone in the world right now for an eight-figure payday, hands down.

I would quit everything and train for five months.

Eight?

What happened?

Eight figures.

That means under 10 is nine figures, 10 and up.

You do it for.

I need eight figures, Dana.

If I'm on my head knocked in, I need some.

I need some.

No, well, let's just break it down.

You as a boxer.

So you're basically 6'5", 6'6", 260 or what are you? I'll break it down for you right now. Me and my boxer.
Yeah, break it down. Okay? Yeah.
This is for you. Okay.
Was the front for us or the back? I gave you a sign because I'm your son. I wanted to know what you're like.
I saw saw that sundial do you take a lot of punishment do you delve out punishment do you do you hold a lot do you do you have a jab do you have a hook do you i mean yeah what kind of box don't be a clincher let's ask his friend julian what kind of boxer is this guy you know what he is he's just haymaker he's gonna try to get you with the haymaker yeah Yeah, early on. He's got long reach.
If we can work his jab, because he could be really nasty with the jab, because he's got like an eight-foot reach probably. He's going to be taller.
Eight-foot reach is pretty good. Yeah.
I think if we can get his jab going, just all he's got to do is connect once, and the guy's done. I feel like Jake Paul is a very tough guy, but I think Rob could get in there and mix it up a little bit.
I would play Jake Paul. I would a hundred percent.
Like I said, I would fight anyone in the ring. If the payday is right, I quit everything right on the spot and train.
I would actually love to do that, man. I would have a purpose of just being able to quit everything.
Cause everyone would understand and then have a purpose of just becoming a fricking animal out there again unit and then it's a mystery fight and then at the end you find out it's belichick oh now what i mean it's a left check it would be like the fight that we just saw the main event i would just throw a couple of grabs and then i'd back off coach i love you Just whispering to each other and nudging like two cats. You'd hold him tight.
Yeah, I'd hold him tight.

I'll let him hold him tight i'll let him throw a couple punches let him feel good but that's all dude i like that jake ball fight when like third round he's like whispering don't hit me so hard tyson you know the deal you initialed it you doc you signed it i'm like okay okay guys did he say that It seemed likesigned it. I'm like, okay, okay, guys.
Did he say that?

It seemed like it, yeah.

I mean, it was kind of like every time Tyson had a shot,

he'd pull back.

I go, all the rumors are true.

This isn't, I don't know.

Wait a minute.

Are you saying that sporting event might have been fixed?

Are you going on record?

It wasn't even called like a boxing match.

It was like, this is an entertainment thing. I think it was actually categorized as a real fight.
As sanctioned. It goes on their record.
It was a sanctioned fight. Poor boxing.
That's the day counting that? Jeez-o-peez-o. All right, let's get to the hard questions.
Let's ask some questions of these guys. Let's grill these guys like it hard let's hear it okay okay hey man you how that's why you guys came up with nut house is that so you guys are businessmen now you're starting an empire basically yeah nut house productions i looked at it right right right right so far we're right correct correct and the show the new podcast is called Dudes.
Dudes on Dudes. Dudes on Dudes.
That's right. Dudes on Dudes.
But you guys, because you were superstars in your other profession, probably translate like it did with Michael Jordan and others like competitive, right? Like you want to build this and just be monsters, right? Because that makes life interesting. That means you're going build this thing out as a giant production company.
It's less painful, less hurt. Exactly, we're relentless like Julian always says, and we're not gonna stop until we get there, baby.
Yeah, we might have a couple bloopers, a couple mess ups, but knowing Julian has a teammate out on the field, he always gets back up when he gets knocked down. And same with myself, you knock us down, we're gonna keep fighting fighting and we're gonna keep fighting until we win that championship baby yes that's a good have you ever after someone tackled you during a game just stood up and said you do that again i'll kill you motherfucker have you ever said that to an opposing did you not see rob do a fucking did you not see him in buffalo when he gave the people's elbow to a fucking he dropped his elbow on the guy because he got mad at him I got mad at him he kept holding me

I didn't tell him, hey, if you hold me again, I'm on a people's elbow. But he just kept doing that.
He literally went down and did a people's elbow. I like it's called a people's elbow.
That's how far away I am from the NFL. The people's elbow is Dwayne Johnson, the rock in the WWE.
Oh, you drop it on him to the football field. Right.
Right. You want all your weight on him.
Yeah. No, but I think with, with, with nut house, we enjoy doing it.
We're not, we're competitive. Yeah.
But we're not looking at where we want to bring it right now. We're, we're still just diving into the operation and trying to make the product as best as possible worrying about what we can with with the show and and try to make our chemistry kind of like yours very boring we're 150 in you asshole and uh we don't know what we're doing by the way jules are you at that goddamn mansion i drive by that i've driven by before i won't say where no i moved god damn fucking the rich get richer all right now on the roast we're friends with nikki glazer whoa we're friends with all those guys i have a few questions just quickly you did this roast to tom um did okay first of all like when we did the roast i did the rob low one we didn't know each other's jokes ahead of time do you guys did you guys know each other's jokes no we're not no but we we would have to tell our jokes to the room and then they didn't tell us if someone had a joke that they would say like uh you can't use that one oh it bumps with somebody yeah yeah and to what room writer's room writer's room yes oh you had to get up and say them

yeah i i went to the comedy store and fucking performed my jokes oh i should have gone down there terrified thank god there was 15 like frat kids there that love football so i could say anything and they were gonna laugh but i was up there and i was reading my jokes off a paper and I did like

I did 12 minutes

I wanted to like

test jokes

that's a lot

yeah but i was up there and i was reading my jokes off a paper and i did like 50 i did 12 minutes i wanted to like test jokes that's a lot yeah and it was it was i was so terrified it was it was really stepping outside of my company oh that makes you sick that's so scary to go in front of people and read those yeah that's that's normal for real who wrote did you have someone write with you did you someone help someone help write with you? They have roast writers, I think. I have my own team, and then we worked with their team, and we kind of formulated and threw a bunch of shit at the wall, and then I went to the store and set them all and kind of said, all right, this one's a good one.
They didn't like this one. And it's very hard to's very hard to say hey guys we're roasting tom break it's not the same exact scenario because they're ready for regular now when you go to the roast everyone's lasered in this is about this blah blah so i've seen like nikki go in okay guys here's what i'm doing i'm hosting the mtv awards picture green day here it's just it's just not the same you don't get the exact same reaction but you get a feel like this one might work so that's good and Rob you did the same thing I'm sorry did you say that yeah mine was similar I actually had like three different phone calls with the writers I just wanted to understand the feel of you know of the type of material that I had for Tom and other people that were going to be there and then they kind of wrote some jokes for me I.
I actually have a friend who's an absolute maniac who, when he's on fire, he's on fire.

He can come up with anything.

So he wrote four of my jokes.

And then I actually wrote four of my jokes as well.

And then all the other jokes were from the writers.

So, you know, it was just a team effort.

But at the end, once you have your whole script, you tell the writers what you're going to say.

And then they figure it out. Hey, you can't say that because someone else is already saying so.
It wasn't repeated. How much fear compared to when you're starting football? Doing public speaking, going to a podium.
You got all these comedians. It's a global event.
I mean, it was an amazing roast. And you guys are coming out there and you're following people.
I mean, where was your nerve level? I'm sure you couldn't compare it to athletics, but it's intense. It took me years to get used to doing it.
It took me three years without being just terrified to do stand-up. Dude, I mean, it was really scary because we're football players.
We're not comics. you're you're following fucking pros yeah i'm so thankful i had that rep before uh at the store because it gave me like a rep of it but i was i was definitely terrified just because that's not that's not what we do i know i that's i was just asking and the size of the crowd is bigger than normal stand-up it's crazy yeah there was 10 000 was it the forum there's like but the cool thing about it was you only saw the people you didn't see the crowd you saw like the they had um a bunch of row tables for people oh yeah gonna be made fun of or associated with people so you saw a lot of your friends in the crowd i didn't you know so that that was kind of cool and also everyone knows you're not a professional stand-up so there is usually goodwill you know because they understand it's not what you do for a living right now but how is your nerve level rob you're we're crazy psychos man that's why we won so many championships together is that Julian wants to be the best even though that's not his profession I wanted to be the best up there even though that's not my profession I mean Bill wants to be the best you know when you sign up for something you know we want to be the best and we're super competitive and that's why I feel like that whole group right there we won so many championships and why we went to the playoffs every single year because of that competitive nature.
But my nerves were cooking a little bit. That's why between Julian, you know, myself and Kevin Hart, we were all three in a row, and we literally finished a bottle of tequila before we even went up there.
And that definitely helped out because when I got up there, that te, it went and it was just game on baby.

And also,

wait a minute.

So before you went out,

you had at least five shots,

six shots on stage.

Probably.

We were drinking by the time you got to the podium.

How many shots of tequila?

I don't know.

It was probably six,

seven.

Okay.

Yeah.

Six to seven.

I pre,

I had a prerequisite of my cocktail before. So I tried my cocktail of what i was going to do before at the store so i could dial in my oh wow you're prepared i have to say that the nerves erase a lot of your buzz sometimes so you're really drunker than you think because you're so fucking giddy yeah with all the energy and the adrenaline that you go i don't even know if i'm drunk i'm just yeah and you're too don't feel it as much if you're adrenaline that's what happened to me and also it kind of sucked waiting your turn because once your turn was over you know you killed it it felt so good just to watch rest of the show like it was like you laid back or you get something stepped on that's what i was scared because nikki i thought was first and uh when someone goes before they do jokes i'm like oh my god i'd be going fuck that steps on this joke oh do i got to take that one out and who do you tell it's live you're like do i text someone like get rid of that joke it bumps exactly with kevin hart's joke it's the same thing that's the hard part that's where the writers have to make sure unless you're ad-libbing or something but i'm sure ad-libs come out because it's live and just in the moment you want to add a tagline i was watching so i i was really amazed with the professionalism of all like the comics that went up there and and with kevin hart and watching him how he was off the teleprompter like how he he would hit a couple things on the prompter then ad-lib then go back to the prompter I was watching who was reading their jokes and who wasn't and Rob went up there and I'm sitting there looking at his prompter and he went completely rogue he just started going on his own rant it was fun to see who was using their prompter and who wasn't it probably full rogue on the prompter and just started going rob them and then you don't know where you're coming back to because they're like the prompter goes down and they go are we is this this part and then you're like because you know live a lot of those roasts like the one i did they can they trim it from three hours down like an hour and a half so they were cutting all the, all the mistakes.
It's more fun to see the mistakes and see what's really happening. Definitely.
I think so, yeah. Did anything shock you? Did you hear jokes that like, you were like, oh, shit, we're doing this? Were your feelings hurt or did you ever observe anyone else who you felt like their feelings were hurt? Because that's the live wire reality show aspect of roast.
You're but then i've seen roast where whoa that person's really wounded right now you know i guess that's part of it but did you witness or yourselves did ever you know did you get your feelings hurt at all no i don't think anyone got their feelings hurt and that's what made that roast that much more special and it also kind of makes you stronger as a person as well if you can just take those beatings and lashings in front of millions of people and in front of a crowd of 20 plus thousand people in front of all your good friends as well i mean it makes you strong mentally and that's why i loved it i mean i can go around anywhere now whatever people say about me and actually that roast literally kind of freaked me up i don't care what people say call me an idiot call me dumb like whatever i was in front of millions of people and that happened like so it's no big deal and i think that's what made the show so special too is everyone took the beating and no one was actually truly hurt about it that's what the really that's what the locker room is i mean no one's safe in the locker room everyone's getting made fun of it was just public well when i did the roast they go like it's hard to see someone walk up and go you know everyone says spade has huge ears and i'm like wait what's going on wait what does everyone say because you're never hearing everything people are saying so whenever when they start a joke with i think we're all in

agreement and then it's like some horrible thing about you and you go and you're trying to brace like oh okay that was too much i'm going to mark that down i got to talk to them after i got to mark that one down because there's so many coming at you just go holy shit that's why i never did it for so long because i'm too much of a pussy to take it it's just so out of left field i think it's crazy to hear how you analyze

the show

like we don't think about that you're sitting you guys are pros so you're sitting there like oh he hit that so i'm gonna fucking bring this to him oh yeah yeah i want to go up early like that's enough that's a deal breaker they go i go put me up early because by the time like uh andrew schultz got on he has great jokes but it's hard to just get the effect when you've heard you're numb by this point nikki nikki had the best spot there i think she was third or fourth yeah kevin hart warmed him up everyone warmed up people were very good it's cooking and then there's a wave that she caught and she was incredibly prepared i mean she worked like for six weeks or something night after night taping recording but yeah late on it's just like you know do you guys uh do professional athletes still uh snap the towel because i haven't been in a locker room since i was did they ever do the dana when he was in high school they're snapping his ass but i actually i was like the size i guess julian Julian, you were a hundred pounds. You went into high school.

I was 92.

You could have beat the shit out of me even then.

But football guys would just pick me up.

Like by my gun, just throw me against the locker, you know, in high school.

Uh-oh, Rob, don't come back.

I think we offended Rob.

Yeah.

Oh, there he is.

No, I was 169 pounds in high school.

So as a freshman?

No, as a sixth grader.

And I was so smart and intelligent.

Oh, good for you.

My academics were high school.

That's the way to say it.

Right.

You were a math whiz, literally, right?

In high school.

I'm going to fact check this, Jules.

Jules, come on now. We have a podcast.
I don't know where we are, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
No, I shockingly got cut from football. Actually, the coach, I was supposed to do a 10-yard button hook.
I did about a 12-yard, so I took it right in fucking grill. And the coach walked me aside.
Like I was Lucas, like that old movie. He's like, Hey kid, let's go get you a snow cone.
And then walked me off the field and then off the campus just to say, I don't think football's for you. Who would want a snow cone if they could have an actual ice cream bar or something? A Snow cone is what I was saying.
Unless it's 110 degrees.

But I was a star and I was a star

in flag football.

Many touchdowns

per game, stuff like that. But then when

it came to tackle football, a guy

ran me over and I just said, I'm leaving.

What the fuck?

They were playing flag football back then.

This is in the 60s. John Bro brody you guys don't go that far back he was a 49er quarterback gave me my certificate mvp flag football was way more civilized there was it was you know flag they weren't really getting tackled they would just take your flag are you guys going to play flag in the Olympics, which I don't think should be a sport? I wish I, if I was in my prime, I would.
I can't run anymore. For real? Yeah.
I was going to ask you guys that, but it's, maybe it's. 100%.
If you can go to the Olympics, like I don't even, that sport's completely different, but I'd be able to. Yeah.
It's not what, like, you guys did. You have to juke.
Rob, can you run? I would be just a red zone threat, you know, put all these little guys in that can run right now. I can still run decently, but not like how I used to be able to.
But I can still go up there and make a play over the guy that's 5'8", you know, in the red zone and score. Because that's what I do.
I'm a scorer, baby. I only score.
That's what we see when we think of you. I want to ask you guys this question.
What's braver? In the pocket as a quarterback, knowing people are coming from your blind side to kill you, basically. Or being a receiver, going up for the ball and knowing the hit's coming, you're not completely protected.
Are they equal? But they seem like the toughest mental positions to put yourself in that situation as quarterback or receiver. No, no, they're not equal because as a receiver, you have momentum as well when you're going up for the ball.
You're running full speed. And that defensive back or safety or linebacker is running full speed the other way.
So it's like a, it's like a head on collision with two guys going full speed in the pocket. You're just still, and the guy that's coming for you, he's already getting pushed around.
It's not like he's teeing off running full speed. Like he can, might just grab you with the arm and just throw you down.
So it's, it's definitely more vicious to get drill going up the middle and, and not see the guy come than the quarterback sitting in the pocket.

So for our trend, you had a much tougher job than Brady did throughout your time with the Patriots.

Yes, that is correct.

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Explore cameras, doorbells, alarm kits, and more right now at ring.com you can't even hit the quarterback anymore but back then you could hit him a little bit but i mean tom played so long he was getting hit early in his career yeah yeah it's it's physics so like rob was explaining i mean if you're going 16 miles an hour this way this guy's You're a slant guy. 11 hours this way.
No, I know. There's a bigger force.
You know, I would say I played quarterback. You could, you could feel it's different because like the quarterback is throwing you somewhere when you're across the middle.
You can kind of feel it in the pocket. Sometimes you don't, obviously, but I think it's just the brute speed going across the middles you guys were both mostly car crashes but it's better to just do a straight deep route just so because you're just running basically it's also your it's an easier catch too because the ball is going away and yeah and the guy with you is running with you not right at you are there where's the injury quotient at this point? I mean, my Niners have been destroyed.
McCaffrey, Brock Purdy, Nick Bosa, Kittle. I mean, it's always been this kind of level.
It seems like the team that stays healthy, all things being equal, of course, is going to win the Super Bowl. Every team is one or two players away.
They're out and the whole trajectory changes. Dana, I just think that using that, using the injury bug is just an excuse for your 49ers.
I just think they can't get the job done anymore this year, buddy. Yeah, they got some injuries, but so do a lot of other teams and they got so many good players that good players that can step up as well and it's just not happening so you're just like everyone else in the bay area just make an excuse so you're just saying that a devo samuels and a christian mccaffrey you can get the d league out there you're gonna get the same production exactly i mean we had julian element rob gronkowski out there at one point guys a seventh round pick and i was a second round nobody coming out without with a back and yeah scrubs superstars you yeah you became superstars should be able to get it done and they got kiddo don't forget about him he only missed one game so that's technically not right no so you gotta love but why does brock purdy doesn't make any money and i feel bad for him he makes he lives in a one bedroom apartment.
He drives an Uber at night. I'm like, dude, everyone else is bitching because they don't get 40 million a year.
This guy's a starting quarterback on Dana's best team in football. There's rules.
He has to make a three-seam. He's making less than the Georgia and Alabama quarterbacks that are in college.
Yeah, no shit. Go back to college, dude.
I know. No, but- He drives a Hyundai XL.
Getting back to injuries? Yes, please. Idiot.
There were some of our best years we didn't win the Super Bowl because we got hurt. You know what I mean? I think in 15, we started 9-0.
You know, we lose Nate Soldier to a pack. Dion Lewis.
I broke a foot. You know, there's years where Gronk got hurt.
We didn't win. Like that's part of the game.
And that, that, that goes into the off season of the program on how they get their athletes going on their performance side, how they keep all their, their physical and, and, uh, their, their cardiovascular health, all that stuff is like part of it, you know? So like the whole injury bug thing, everyone deals with it. So, you know, if you're sitting there saying we're one guy away, it's never that.
That's never the case. Look at the Jets.
And most people are injured anyway. Yeah.
They call it kind of banged up a little bit. The team's a little banged up.
You're either hurt or you're injured. Everyone's hurt.
Everyone's hurting. so did you would you do you guys feel like you got out at the right time based on if you play too long with too many injuries i mean i worked with dick butkus on a tv show and he walked real funny and he was about 45 at the time and you know they didn't know how to deal with injuries i worked with willie mays and a sitcom all right i i feel like i got out right at the right time like you know i was kind of still playing well but i mean i wasn't producing like how i could produce when i was 24 25 years old but i was still going out there and making plays but i got out like right before i was going to absolute terrible and i feel like that's the best time to go out because you're still on top and you didn't really show that you truly dropped off like out of nowhere like the super bowl in tampa yeah yeah well i played one more year after that yeah but i i forgot about the following year i just think of you as he went he also went to florida and won one without belichick who they all we all love when you ruined the super bowl trophy did they make you pay anything no no it's actually hanging up in the patriots hall of fame actually we made that they should pay us because we made that trophy more expensive julian and i he threw the pitch he threw a knuckleball i freaking bonded it and put the dent in it so julian i'm waiting for a check because people go to the patriots hall of fame more people do to go see it to go see it exactly so hey it's like art you want some story behind i want date money for that jules and without a doubt i have the ball that we threw it with still.
See, that's worth something, too. Super Bowl MVP.
Pretty amazing. By the way, you know.
David interrupts my highlight of his career. Who's a Super Bowl MVP? Julian was.
Yeah. You were? Yeah.
He's Mr. Super Bowl.
He also led the receivers. And yeah, he's had some great super bowls super bowl mvp that's fucking crazy dude it was nuts it's cooler now like you didn't really care when it happened you just you were happy that it won but like now that it's over and it's like five years ago you still get to live off it i would die not on that forever i tell people i said live from new york at saturday night that's what i tell people oh yeah even though i don't even know if i did dana said it 200 times which one uh live from new york i'm dana i'm adding to my total i'm adding to my total right hey dana i've been even i meet somebody they're like hey what are you doing like i'm a football player i'm gonna use that for the rest of my life yeah you're right that i say that sometimes that's right you guys are gladiators you're like uh rock stars you know everyone i mean i was talking to belichick about this because i'm the podcast with him by the way i did every joke and every impression i can do i got him helpless i got that guy laughing his ass off it's really absolutely great sense of humor but when you get him into football just even a one question as you guys would know it's 20 minutes of intense metrics that it's pretty amazing to watch his brain go like that he's just he'll be back but um yeah you guys are you know the super bowl and football the ratings and the money is so huge globally it's it is the sport you know oscars emmys other televised events it is football is it and it attracts everybody and i just wondered about about the, the money, the billions that's going in there.
Is it matriculating to the players? I mean, I think the teams averaged 400 million each. I mean, you're getting a piece of the television.
You're getting the gate. Is it growing, growing, growing, or how do you feel about it as a sport? I mean, it is the, I think bullshit like i was gonna say that yeah yeah it's crazy uh when you plan the playoffs in the super bowl you're actually taking a pay cut because what they do is you get your salary you divide it into 17 you get paid every two weeks so you can imagine what that check looks like when you go to the playoffs you're getting a you know you get 20 a, you know, you get 20 grand for the first game.
You get 30 grand for the second game. When you, when you're looking at the banking in the playoff games with all their, you know, all the viewership and stuff.
So we actually get the short end of the stick when it comes to playoff money, but that's also negotiated in our collective bargaining agreement. We get, you know, a certain percentage of what the TV contracts and what the league makes, but it, you know, it never comes down.
Like when you're playing in the playoffs, that's for like the love of the game. Now see, 20 grand is a lot of money, but you know, you look at your regular game day check, you know, from the regular season, you're putting in more work than what you're doing in the regular season.
You're getting paid less. So, you know, when you think about it, playoffs and winning the Super Bowl, I think you get like a couple hundred grand, three grand altogether.
It's still not even a toenail clipping of what the league's making. But I didn't even know that at all, that you make less.
But it's an overall, Rob, did technically a bonus right so you know you on top of your salary and then once the season regular season's over you get rewarded right you know and the ratings are higher though so someone's making more yeah and rob is it true that you just saved your salary and just lived off endorsements and all the rest yeah yeah i have, I have, man. It's been great.
I can tell you that. It's been great living.
I just, you know, I definitely live by that model for especially like my first five, six years in the NFL, because you don't know how long you're going to play for, man. NFL stands for not for long.
You can average about three years. So I was like, hey, I want to make sure I'm taken care of if I only play like four, five years in the NFL.
So I was living like that just so, you know, I didn't have to worry if I had a short career. So it just stayed with that motto from there on out ever since because, you know, it was just working.
And how did you, where did you put the money? Was it a cash or did you, I'm just curious. No, investments and everything, all that good stuff.
So it's making money as well. i'm living off my beer pong winnings right now uh you guys first of all i think we should thank these guys we've taken enough of their time uh two dudes we think you're great danie have any final questions yeah go ahead dudes on dudes dudes on dudes with gronk and jewels these two guys so the concept of our show is we basically talk about three different dudes and we categorize what kind of dude they are you know you can get a dog which is someone who's mentally physically emotionally tough you could be a freak a one-on-one you could be a dude's dude which is like a glue guy in the locker room you could be a stud someone who has pedigree on everything and then you be a whiz, which is someone who's innovative.
And I think you guys would be whizzes and blue guys. Oh, okay.
So it can apply to comedians too, not just athletes. It can apply to anything.
Dude is not just a guy. Dude is a figure of speech.
Could we be like beasts? Like be a spades of beast.'s a beast. I don't know if I've heard that.
No, there's five categories. Beast is not one of them.
There's actually, you can either be a freak. A freak.
It's kind of a beast. A stud, a wizard.
Yeah. Dog.
Or a dude, dude. A dude's dude.
Or a dog. I like Gronk saying, Danaana i don't think you understood the rules okay steve was not one of the choices steph curry go which one is he steph curry whiz whiz all right uh change the game he's literally he's changed nba basketball yeah aaron rogers are we going back in the heyday in 2010 i would say aaron rogers back in the heyday man just an absolute stud just the way that he can just like just bullet those passes with a flick of a wrist i, you got to be a stud muffin in order to do that.

Are you, is Aaron coming back next year?

What do you think he should do?

I don't know.

I thought the show was over.

I thought you were letting us off, David.

How is his name pronounced?

Zavon Barkley, the guy who just ran for 255 yards. Saquon Barkley.

Saquon Barkley. Barkley.
Say what Barkley, the guy who just ran for 255 yards. Saquon Barkley.

Saquon Barkley.

Say what Barkley?

What is he?

He's a freak.

Okay.

He's a monster.

I agree.

He's a freak.

Yeah, he runs.

They chafe because they're so big.

Oh, yeah.

I have a Google alert whenever they show me.

He did a 360 jump over someone like literally. Oh, I saw that.
I saw that. That's a fucking freak.
This guy's taking it to another level every single week, which is just freaking incredible. And he is freaky.
Freak is basically someone that you just look at and they look like a specimen. And Saquon Barkley, you look at his quads and that those are just a specimen quads

and just how much he can lift. So that's how we kind of categorize guys as well as how they perform off the field.
Sometimes what they look like and just how they play the game. So Herschel Walker.
Ooh, now you're trying to get us going. I'm going in the nineties.
No, Okay, let's do it.

Arthur Walker, he's a dog.

Yeah.

He's self-motivated. I mean, he didn't win any.
They didn't win any Super Bowl. He's played with the Oilers and who else? Hershey.
I remember Houston. Houston.
Yeah. I mean, I would say he's a dog.
That dude was so powerful. And there were so many times where you thought he was down and he'd put his shoulder down and run a guy over, take three guys.
Okay, Rob, what's Julian? Oh, actually, we haven't got that. And Julian, what's Rob? Well, that comes, that's the mic drop.
Oh, yeah, okay, don't give it away. That's the season ender.
I would say if I'm looking. I can't give that away.
Come on now. No, don't give it away away i'd say rob's a freak and a stud and i'd say i'm freakishly gifted and julian is a dog and a wizard and a glue i like that you can be a combo those are just my blinks i don't know that's all right you guys are a lot of combos i like it yeah well okay we'll let you go rob we promised uh we love being comboed you guys good luck with your podcast this is really really fun you say that's fun we're having it and spade every thursday a new episode drops check us out baby hey spade are you gonna be at cra at Craigs anytime soon? I saw these guys.

I forgot.

This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly.

It's executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade,

Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman.

Hope you liked it.