Please Don't Destroy

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Explore cameras, doorbells, alarm kits, and more right now at ring.com. We have the Please Don't Destroy team on the show today.
Please don't destroy guys. You like guys better? Well, what is that? Okay, we got to start over.
I like it. No, it's better.
It's please don't destroy, period. But you could add guys or team, right? No, we have the guys from please don't destroy.
We have the guys from please don't destroy. Yeah.
And this, no pun intended, this podcast is going to blow your mind.

It's going to reorientate your electronic.

Reorientate.

It's going to destroy you.

They are the guys that are three dudes on SNL that only do, I think they only do the videos.

They do a video probably once a week.

Sometimes it gets kicked just to online after the show show if it goes too long which we joke about uh but they're always high quality and they're always funny and so we thought this is turning into a big part of the show an important part and it's always been with the videos from tom schiller to samberg to people adding video it's a great element of the show yeah and they're just fun little short films they've got taylor swift in some of them and all these different uh travis kelsey yeah people like to jump in them and uh a lot of the thought of the hosts will jump in on them even though it's a fucking beating i'd like to be there and they go okay you do read through wednesday then you're gonna do an 18 hour uh shoot on thursday yeah that's yeah you're yeah you go all night friday and then get two hours sleep and then get ready for the show it's for the live show that matters these guys are funny they're sweet um yeah they also write for this show anyway they're very talented they're. And they use cast members, but they'll tell you.
Very cool dudes. And there's five of us total on this chatter today.
So just try to pay attention and just know that if someone's talking, it's probably me and Dana. Yes.
And we did. We were at our over talk meter.
I checked it afterwards. It was trending It was right.
Red line a little bit a couple of times, but they were fun and easy to talk to. All right.
Here they are. Please don't destroy.
Are you guys really friends? I mean, in real life, are you just kind of like business partners? Yeah, kind of more Like co-workers Like associates and colleagues Yeah exactly Yeah I am so excited for this you guys It's already on So keep talking Feel free to ask questions John is joining us today I guess his bandmates Ben and Martin He said they always do it In order of importance So he goes on for a while and then one of the other guys jumps on. Well, you're still, you're on SNL now.
So you can ask us a lot of questions going forward, even though, you know, I'm just saying. No, you guys are on SNL.
I'm not. I used to be John.
Ask your dad. I was there a long time ago.
I really made it. He said I didn't make a dent in the show.
I made a ding. Like where if you got an accident, they go, just go ahead.
It's not enough to even, no one noticed. Just go.
What's more important, a few years on SNL or 40 years of post-SNL where you're doing a lot better than you did on SNL? Do you want to peak in 93 like I did? I've been dining out on three catchphrases for over a half century. I won't bring them out.
Ben woke up for this. That's nice.
It's like 5 p.m. in New York.
And Martin's trying to log in. Okay, well they're here, Fuck yeah I want to ask you guys a quick question Please don't destroy If it wasn't that What were the alts What didn't make it I have a couple ideas but I'll let you guys go We have Beatles 2 We...
What else do we have?

I remember you guys genuinely wanted to call the group Three Stinkers.

Yeah, we did.

Three Little Stinkers.

Three Little Stinkers.

What about Beatles and the Dung?

I had the...

These are horrible.

The Cupcake Trilogy.

Oh, hey.

That's not bad.

I don't destroy. Yeah.
Because I have a special I'm doing and I thought of maybe potential spam. It's kind of one of those things that people just know in the world, like a little saying, please don't destroy.
That's a great one. No one ever gets it right.
I said it wrong today. How did they ruin it? What did they say? Please don't destroy.
That's a great one. And no one ever gets it right.
Well, I said it wrong. How do they ruin it? What do they say? Please don't disturb.
Oh, okay. Oh yeah.
Do not disturb. Do not disturb might be better.
Yeah. All right.
Casually. Yeah.
That one's not just, I like that. Hey man, are we part of a press junket? Are you doing eight today? Or is this sort of a one off No way this is it Alright let me mark that down This is Tyson Paul this is the main event Yeah bingo I love that fight what a rocking fight Dude Tyson gave it Almost well nothing But that's okay I like when send me, here's a live scene from the Tyson ball fight and there's two cats going, meow, meow, meow,

tapping each other.

And I'm like, exactly.

Jost had a great joke on update of they teamed up against the audience.

That was it.

That was the quintessential.

My problem is they say it's not really, the fight wasn't really a real fight, sanctioned fight. It was just for entertainment.
I'm like, but it wasn't entertainment either, so I'm suing for that. But it was sanctioned.
It goes on Tyson's record. Why would he do that? He says, what does he care about? His legacy.
I'll be dead. I don't even care.
I started doing Leno. I'm on mushrooms.
Yeah, I was really fighting them hard, but I don't care what happens. You know, what about legacy? Sorry.
Tyson has to go to the bathroom. Was that when he was talking? What was the video that you sent Benny He was talking to Talking to a little girl Oh yeah there was a little girl standing there A 12 year old girl and he was like we're all gonna die One day we're all dust She's like do you eat Dino nuggets My Dice Well he was nice after the fight but he was mostly He'd be really when really, when it's heyday, he'd be like, I'm going to kill you.
I itch you so hard. Your family's going to be hurt.
Now I'm going to kill you. And after the fight, he'd beat the hell out of the guy and go, I really like you.
I think you're a tremendous fighter. I'd like to knit you a sweater.
Anyway. By the way, this airs in 2027, These are jokes on the Jay Leno show in 1990.

I'm out of ammo.

What about rock, paper, scissors for you guys?

Was that one?

Is this a name?

Was that a name?

I thought we were over that.

No, I thought that was that was so two minutes ago.

I wrote down 40 minutes for this.

So I don't know.

He's got the best lighting he's ever had on the podcast. And he's a little different.
And it's not that good. I kind of am red.
No. Do you got a ring light going? I don't have that kind of money, but I have the top lights from my ceiling on.
Okay. I do have a ceiling.
I'm doing pretty good. So you guys guys Dana Dana are you in New York? No I flew back to LA Then I'm going up to a Place in the mountains This guy's digging deep These I've been running Past these guys In the hallway Hey guys For the last Two months What's up Walt you doing? Standing around.
They're like doing Biden this week. As you dressed as Biden.
You're like, yeah. My contract says seven Bidens.
You'll do seven. They might all be in the same show.
We might throw one on. I have four catchphrases and I rotate them that's all i do i just click them off look confused and then ask lauren for my paycheck so um it's so good thank you i guess i saw the one last week that that was i hate to say you should change the name to we got cut but what what is the...
Cut for time. Cut for time.
Cut for time might be better. Cut for time.
Please don't cut. But it seems like everyone sees it anyway.
I mean, it doesn't matter anymore, but that... I liked it.
What was the last one? Oh, Charlie XCXXX. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She was in it, and she had had a lot to do that would have been good in the video oh yeah that's funny like to buy a vowel he had a lot he had a lot of jokes in that i mean it was more like tons of jokes and she'd got you you shoveled her with a lot of jokes so she did a good it's always good if the host gets to score yeah yeah she was awesome and that when it who when did you just when did you know you were going to fly down the stairs at the end because i i'm always curious about endings like so that was like a perfect and were those stunt guys or you guys were they stunt stairs or you're kind of young and springy no those were stunt guys yeah that was after rewrite table i think I think we had something in there that didn't work at table so we were like maybe we go down the stairs and the table was we all just said bye yeah bye Charlie when we don't know how to end the sketch that's what what we do for table read. You should probably go, okay, bye.
Then Lauren looks up and goes, we'll find something there. Wayne's World 2, cold opening.
Hey, man, the 50th, we don't know who's coming back. Some cobwebs are coming.
Hi, we're the cobwebs. We're here to pump you up.
Yeah, fuck you. Yeah, believe me.
We are shameless. But so who's your, like, Dan Bula, is he, who do you, who do you, who's, who do you talk to? Who do you talk to there about what you're thinking of doing? You have to go in and meet the Wizard of Oz.
Right. Who do you pitch? Do you pitch ideas anymore or just do them? Just do them at read-through.
Yeah, we do them at read-through. Oh, you do? We have the Monday pitch in Lauren's office still, but everyone does a fake idea.
Yeah. Okay.
Your ideas probably just sound fake. Yeah.
Yeah, they do. Oh, they're not really doing that.
That was one of their goofball ideas. This video that we just did was maybe the first Monday pitch that we actually turned into a video.
That was my pitch on Monday. Oh, yeah.
So what did you say in like 20 seconds? We're just going to have a rave off, but you need to host time, which is very precious. Well, I just pitched the first turn of it.
So I was like, maybe it's a romantic comedy where you run into a guy and you're like, Oh my God, I'm so sorry. This is so crazy.
But would you ever want to watch where the fuck you're going? I love it. Yeah.
Laughterued um you guys i didn't hear any from you guys but i laughed i thought it was good this is me laughing they just texted me don't laugh anything they say you know a lot of times comedians when they hear their friend i said guest yeah you start thinking of how to tag that when your friend says, maybe that's a please not destroy sketch or please don't destroy. When we're writing, it's like people always ask, like, are you guys just cracking up? And it's like, never.
I know. That's what they think all of the movies are, too.
It's always okay. Now, what goes after that? What goes after that? How stoned were you when you came up with that idea? So three months ago when Charlie X Charlie hosted, you guys, because we're figuring out the air date now.
Yeah. Early 26.
So she's in the Monday meeting. You throw this into the pitches.
And then when it involves the host and she's got X amount of time during the week, when do you get her? They have to okay it right away? You have to start figuring out the sets and shit. We had to write it for the Wednesday read-through and then that night they greenlit it.
But we shot it on Thursday night, like all night. So we were shooting.
Oh, what a fucking drag. Yeah, we had a rewrite table all day from like 12.30 to 9.
And then from 9 to like 6 a.m. We were shooting our video.
Rewrite for nine hours, practically? Rewrite Table on Thursdays is fucking horrible. Oh, okay.
You were rewriting all the other people's stuff. Oh, everything.
Yeah, yeah. Not just that.
That's the thing people understand. You guys are writers.
Writers on the show. Yeah.
Writers on the show. That's what I thought.
God, you guys are on fire i have another name for your thing leave at gate these aren't horrible they're not great but they're all here's a question have you ever seriously said to each other, hey, get out of my face, dude.

Like, serious. Not part of a sketch.

Like, real. Get out of my face, dude.

Who's been the most mad at who?

Because I've said that

to Spade every other day.

Get out of my face, dude.

Get out of my grill.

Don't get up and get in my grill.

So, anyway.

No answer. Yeah, I mean, we've had some blowouts.
There we go. There we go.
We are trending officially. We are trending right now.
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I don't know.

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I don't know.

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Some people follow the rules, but where's the fun in that? I'm Soraya and this is Rule Breakers, the podcast where we celebrate the rebels, the misfits, and the ones who make their own way. Every week, I sit down with the biggest rule breakers in sports, entertainment, and beyond to talk about the wildest moments, toughest lessons, and why breaking the rules might just be the key to success.
Follow and listen to Rule Breakers with Soraya, an Odyssey podcast available now for free on the Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts. Now, two of you have parents that are writers, Dana.
You did not know this, but they have parents that are writers. Do you have to free pitch them before the pitch meeting and then okay our dad's come up with the majority of our ideas for sure but besides that you have to know that that's sarcasm people do they pitch you an idea and you have to say no and it's horrifyingly awkward it's not that that awkward.
My dad pitches a lot of jokes for us. Okay.
But it's not that. What about overall? Here's an idea for you guys for a whole thing, whole concept.
No? They stay in their own lane? You call each other's dad, dad? Yeah. No.
Just dad. I call Dana dad.
Yeah. I call everybody dad.
That's just respect. Yeah.
Exactly. When I got to the show, Dana was there and he was like fucking crushing it.
Number one guy. And we all had to call him dad.
You know what, David? I don't even know if it's based off of my dad but in middle school i would flirt with girls by saying you know uh david spade's character in grown-ups his name higgins you know that's great yeah that's fantastic i don't even know if it did not work no but here's the um i don't even know if it's based off of that i don't know either i didn't read the whole script but i do know that now i might have been sandler's i know sandler's uh hometown boys growing up one was lamin sloth there was a really complicated name i'm like that has to be one of your friends and we met some of the guys but it might have been a higgins there but it could have easily been you guys because people yell higgins me in the airport like i can remember what movie i was even in and they're like higgins i'm like are you talking to me yeah are you higgins they think i'm real like a real person are you higgins are you still in the closet with the dog? I'm like, oh, that was a movie. But it's fine.
I'll take any praise. When I came here to the airport, this isn't funny, but interesting.
Dad comes up with a six and an eight-year-old boy, girl, really sweet, cute. They are just huge fans of your Joe Biden impression.
They're six years old. Because it goes on at eight 30, I guess in the West coast.
They just think it's a funny old man. Anyway, that's all.
That's our airports chunk. When do you get word? If you're in the show and you tape it, edit it, cut it.
Cause that sounds like a really unusually crazy schedule. Cause not just a sketch you have to put on his feet.
You to get a set then dress it and then you know you got to get wardrobe and then you got to cram lines like charlie bless her heart she has to cram lines for that and then do it all night when she has to rehearse the next day it's the hardest week of her life and then you throw it in a dress and then you you it might make it to air but it also you don't know if it's going to make it all the way on air right yeah like the the tapes are always a lot of the times it's like you it's easier i think to just cut a tape for time because you don't have to get rid of the whole set and whatever. So they're kind of the first to go after update once the show's going long.
Once people are milking their sketches. A lot of stuff is cut for time.
It really, when you're there, like sketches, I was, was it always like this Dana being back of the, like your 30 minutes over going into dress or did you guys have it closer To we had some there were sketches Cut it seems like more now is my What I'm thinking but yeah Cut for time Dress was always long and then Yeah air was supposed to be Pretty close then you cut the show down And then what I do with Gaffigan and stuff We get together and go let's let's just fucking milk the cold opening. Push the show really long.
Sit back with an ice cold beer and just laugh at the cup of time, guys. I shouldn't have said that, but Gaffigan's like that.
But anyway, no, I think it is a little longer or maybe Skechers are playing longer. But yeah, there seems like there's at least two or three cuts each week.
When you and James went off cards at Dress this past week, that was so funny. Yeah.
David was the best, man. Why can't we do that on air? It's all make-believe and all of a sudden I stepped on his line and we got all tangled up.
It was right before the live from New York, too. He just went off on this whole run and had to reset right to that.
But you found your way back. Everyone's waiting to run.
I did say, is this Tressor Air? I think I stayed in Biden. Is this Tressor Air? I don't know.
I thought Lauren was going to scold me on that one. But instead he went, you look like look like you're reading off cards and i said because i was yeah i normally has 19 words and now i got a half page of exposition yeah anyway report to the spanking machine the spanking machine that's not a bad machine yeah i used to go stand by it yeah do you guys want to talk at all because david and i i'm i'm getting a just a routine uh cholesterol blood tax so i haven't eaten in like 19 hours so i'm a little punchy but you guys have any questions for us or things you want to say any statements you'd like to read how much money do you have in your bank account combined.
That's Dana's question. Just cash on hand,

liquidity,

or are we talking about property I'm talking fucking assets I'm talking real estate The whole kit and caboodle I'll write it down and I'll just hold it up At the end of the podcast It's a scroll People on YouTube can check in and guess One of you is Hurley's kid Who's going to admit it Check the name It's Martin Hurley It doesn't say his last name But I would say it's you because you're the one without a last name But I was friends with your dad Obviously we had a big falling out Pick Sandler me, which was sort of an easy one. You're really the Hurley boy.
That's what I was getting at. There was a sketch, Dana, when you were there.
I would just do what I did normally before update and I'd go home. But what was it? The Hurley boy that was called.
It was Sandler and Farley, right? Yeah. And that must be fun.
You can say it's named after you. That's more believable than the Higgins bullshit he was given earlier.
Ben, do you have any connection to show business, like even a cousin or an uncle or anything? No, I don't. Okay.
All right. Pete Davidson, your dad.
I'll adopt you legally. Please.
I watched your Taylor Swift one. I have watched over.
It's hard for me to just say each one because they come week to week. They're the same? No, no.
They're all really good. I have to say is that they're all very clever.
I mean, a year ago I was saying, oh shit, these are so funny. If I'm ever in town, I want to go try to worm into one because they're so clever.
They're funny. They don't look that easy, but they're just good, different things and it's so hard to stand out on a sketch show that's been on fucking 50 years to get anything slightly different because they're so they're great you get good people and you give them something to do and they're they're i've listened to every episode of this podcast oh you listen to this dog shit good job everyone thank you yeah i listen to everyone i love that i'm i, the biggest SNL nerd fan, so that means a lot.

Yeah, we're massive, massive fans of you guys, we should say.

That's what I was getting at.

Thank you.

Well, when I look at your stuff, I just feel envious.

Yeah, like it seems like so much fun.

Nothing was happening like that on our, you know.

It is fun.

We get to shoot them pretty quick, too, sometimes, because they're, like, especially the office ones, we can do those Thursday nights where they don't go until 6 o'clock in the morning. Sometimes we can bust them out in four hours or whatever.
Who do you reach out to to get a celebrity that's not the host? Do you have the talent department? Yeah. You say, hey, can you grab us this person? The talent department helps pretty we need a yes or no asap yeah then you go type in their name in the script and then you change it to someone else yeah i accidentally sent it with robert wait who's robert de niro is this true like the first one was pete davidson and taylor swift is that your first One no no That was just us three in the office And it aired on the Kim Kardashian episode but she Had nothing to do with it yeah Okay then you didn't put her in it You were shot her on it later We shot it secretly Oh that was with the walking around With the yeah The hard seltzer one we shot it on them on monday with um our friend paul briganti who used to be a director there and we just had like two cameras a prop guy and a sound guy so it's nice that you it does well so now over time they must build up trust with you guys so now a little eyes are on you less and more like what do we have this week and then do you have to show the final to it anyone before it goes on dress the producers look eric henward will watch yeah okay you know everyone's busier than shit obviously but you try to go hey can you just check it and they give you maybe last second trims or notes anything before pops on dress okay yeah for sure it's he's always really helpful but we'll normally come to him with like questions of like is this working or you know whatever well they move so fast good laughs get out cuts like just you have the doctor in the one on the taylor's whip and you're going that's my real doctor but uh it's just funny to get i go got a doctor set and an outfit for a fucking cutaway it's just seems expensive and hard but always feels worth it to me watching when did you get out of the room you know you were doing them in in the just in the office for a while and then you got out of the room and then when i was there you did the uh the uh helicopter set which was like it played really big i guess you did it 66 6th Street in there, you did the helicopter set, which played really big.

I guess you did it at 66th Street in there, but it was very, very cool.

The consistency of how excellent they are is very high to me.

So I just want you guys to understand that.

You're a smash.

Thanks, man.

I mean, I hope you know that.

I don't know. we do yeah yeah you do know it oh so you know it because it's hard to do comedy it's hard to nail it high slugging coming up with ideas that are consistently good there's just i don't you know that aren't clanking and not quite there and there's just this high high, high percentage of winning.
And so I'm just curious about winning. That means a lot.
I don't know. It's not just me.
Hey, look at the YouTube counts. You know, cut for time, gets 3 million.
You know what I mean? I mean, you got your highest one was 17 million. And don't you dare go something like that, because you know exactly.
It is. I pulled up on my phone right now.
Something like that. No, bad name.
I'm pulling it. I'm pulling it.
David, you know. I think we first.
Oh yeah. Go ahead, John.
I was going to say a joke that I like when David does it on talk shows. When you go, I was leaving my house, mansion, whatever.
Listen, 44 windows, three pantries, whatever. These are other people.
I don't know days. I don't know.
House, whatever. The West Wing that has seven bedrooms has never been inhabited.
You just go walk by door after door. It's incredible.
Yeah. I have Dana come over.
I have a door that's like 90 feet high. I'm like...
I like to do cardio. So I run around his house you know about 20 minutes i got lost one time but um let's i don't know what do you guys want to talk about i mean it's kind of did we answer your question we haven't answered anything and i think martin said one word which is fine Which might be a podcast record.

David and I, we're just punchy, but we'll just...

We want you guys to talk. All NYU guys?

Where do we meet? That's a good one.

So you just

all nodded. Great.
Anyway, what else is going

on? Thank you very much.

Okay, wait. Now let's go back and answer it.

Yes. When did we get out of the office?

The Taylor Swift video? Yeah. I think so, yeah.
I will say the budget that the film unit has can be pretty ridiculous. And I feel like somebody's going to notice it and then be like, there's no reason this should be happening.
Bye. After the hype of the 50th, they're going to start looking at the books and going, what the fuck is going on over here? I've heard a lot about the budgeting and it's quite surprising, not only with you, but with other people.
We actually, we actually, for a lot of ours costs nothing in compare, especially those office videos. It's usually our money's on, you know, big sandwiches or whatever our prop is that we, that we're cutting away to.
When you do not to focus on Taylor Swift, but when you do that bit, it's with Pete, so it's fine. It's already funny.
Do you say, hey, we should have someone coming at the end, or was the idea always someone coming at the end, and we just don't know who? You know who pushed it was Dan Bulla. It was like, dudes, we could just ask her, and I'll record a thing and show it to her that'll sound awesome for her part in the video and we were like we had zero truly zero expectations that she would do it you know it was our third video or whatever and then bulla put together her part in the song like as a demo and it sounded so awesome and taylor We showed it to her loved the bit was just like let's do it and we were shocked sweetheart yeah that's very nice because she scores too you know it's like yeah it's smart if you're a big star and you wait and make moves that are like that they're like that's a little nugget score get out it's kind of is perfect for that yeah he's so good at it it's the lesson that you learn every week is if the host is scoring you're likely to make the thing you know what i mean because it's and it's so easy to not like think about them as the main character or whatever because it's your bit but you kind of.
Yeah. Do you guys kind of co-direct it yourselves

and have an official director, or is it kind of like that?

Obviously, you're chiming in.

Because I watched the Travis Kelsey one,

and I thought it was just so crazy funny.

It hit me hard.

Because the way when you fell and your eyes were still open,

like you're instantly probably dead.

And then the ending with the old lady

and the Russian roulette and everything.

It's just perfect.

Some of these are just super gems.

We've put that woman in five or six sketches now.

She has a problem.

Marnie.

Shout out to Marnie.

We put her in every live sketch that we-

You made her a feature player on your thing.

She's instantly funny.

Was she in Andy's? We put her in every live sketch that we like. You made her feature player on your thing.
She's instantly funny. And instantly.

Yeah.

Was she in Andy Samberg's video as well?

There was a different woman on that age.

Dana.

Touchy.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Note to self.

Yes.

To answer your question, Tim Wilkheim

directs our stuff, who's awesome.

But we all

chip in and give notes and help out.

But just want to give him credit.

Is Martin a screamer

on the set?

What the fuck?

I'm surprised

Martin even has his lines.

What the fuck, man?

They're like, Martin, you have

Thank you. Fuck Meltdown I'm surprised Martin even has his lines What the fuck man They're like Martin you have to talk in this one

Is it

Here or here

Come on make a choice dude

Push in

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So you guys also tour, right? Yeah. A little bit.
Are you going out next summer or what do you, what's, what's that like going out? Cause you're doing all this this and then all of a sudden you have all these thousands of people screaming i mean what was that must have been what is your show like yeah what do you do is it funny is it fun it's it's a drama it's a drama i would say yeah it's and it's pretty tragic um but the uh the first time you went out and the crowd went crazy, it must have been like, yeah. No.
Yeah. Last summer we went on like a 30 city tour.
And you go, I can't believe there's this many people in a Jimmy John's. Wherever you play.
I don't know. I don't know.
No, no. The Jimmy John's Jimmy John's arena.
Yeah. It was, um, arena.
Oh, that just backfired on me. Fuck.
I'll say, go ahead, Ben. I'm sorry.
Um, no, it was, it was cool. Our show is like, it's a sketch show, but we don't do like costumes or props really.
So it's kind of like half standup, half sketch. Cause we're like talking directly to the audience, but then we'll be like, all right, now we're in a coffee shop and then do a sketch um and it's like the most fun thing we do i hope we do it again this summer yeah we filmed a bunch of our shows last um summer and we might we're like cutting together a little special would you ever team up with like sarah squirm and go out No Okay Sarah's squirm David another joke

You gave Sarah

Sarah team up with Sarah Squirm and go out? No. Okay.
Sarah Squirm. Hey, David, another joke.
You gave Sarah a big joke, her silica gel package joke. She loved that one.
I thought she just used it in front of me to make me feel better. I love it.
She's kept it everywhere. She's so bananas.
I didn't really know her.

And we went on that tour and she was, she's very, first of all,

she's very likable, very fun to talk to backstage.

Cause Sam and that slug over there getting massages,

being covered in gold coins.

And so, but Sarah warming up and then Sarah was funny.

And then she gets up and her act is so bananas. And I was was like this is so funny because no one knows what to expect at all plus she was newer on the show now she's been there for a while but i see clips from her on tour in the summer it's so funny and it's so hard i'm like sarah do you know what you're getting into like doing all these cities like you guys you know you work hard but then it is a bit of a trudge to go on tour if you guys line up a few it's more fun you're together but it's still it's still tough right it's it was it was hard but we don't do the the she does a lot of hiatuses during the season goes out which feels like like we'll our hiatuses we'll write a bunch of shit and whatever and work harder and other stuff.
But the idea of traveling right away to go hit like four cities in a row feels like Toscaloosa. She, um, she's one of our best friends with the show though.
I, we would totally pull up with Sarah to do a tour. Yeah.
We came in at the same time and just immediately hit it off and started writing with her every week.

She's the best.

Yeah, that Matt Gaetz, his name was fucking terrifying.

It was insanely scary.

It's like this.

What?

All those makeup guys are Star Trek fans and all kind of shit. Yeah, he was like a crawler.

He definitely was forehead.

And when she would put her chin down and do that little smile, it waskers She looked like Jack Nicholson Yeah That was a look that she could have Just that has to come back I mean to be honest How funny she is in that Do you guys do vids when you're out there Is it too much hassle to bring like a screen You recorded all your shows last summer or no yeah we recorded a bunch my wife is cutting together a special right now oh okay and uh nice wife yeah well your professional editor or it's just scale scale plus 10 yeah scale hey you're new you get scale that's good that's actually good Just watch some tutorials and get this special going Get on YouTube How to do a special I'm just curious What was the lighting kit or the crew like If you're going to do those shows How much hassle was it? Three cameras, lots of light Or was it really kind of lo-fi? We really didn't prepare to do it So we we would hire local crews to be like maybe this is a good place to film it and then we would get embarrassed about whatever show we film and we're like let's just film it again somewhere else because that's the beauty of that if you can do that it's great because you're gonna hit a fucking winner like adam when he went out and did all these shows, he would just keep filming them.

Like,

that's the beauty of being big budget.

You just go film another one,

film us on the plane,

film us backstage.

It was,

he could have had 10 specials with that.

It was kind of like,

it's kind of like that model of like cutting around to different cities and

then doing like backstage bits.

It's like a combination of Zach Galifianakis and Sandler's special.

And it's smart list guys did that. So you can get it because you're gonna get something you know if you're just bullshitting or laughing there's something backstage even if you get a minute after the whole night backstage and then you get your stuff on stage and you get something on i don't know if you have a bus or a yeah fly around it's always hard to get the crew on Southwest to start rolling, but.
Yeah, I remember I'm bummed out. Get me here when I ask for my water.
I think there's something there. No, it's funny.
It's funny because it's so nothing. It's just funny.
So nothing. Did you just release the special, right, David? I'm glad you just got my text yes here we are oh a funny story yeah Dana you might want to go get a coffee I can't I'm getting a blood test oh yeah I can't water you shouldn't even drink water you can't you can drink water I don't know tell us your story i did a special for an unknown streamer why we can't say i don't know but there's only that many pluto yeah i don't tell you it's the worst one xbox tv blippy one of these is a fake name goo goo flumbo beep bop bo.
Okay, so I did it and I'm editing and I will tell you Dana, I was editing yesterday and I hate watching it so I keep putting it off and then I watch it and I go, I think I'm bombing. So I'm here with Heather going, I might cut that whole bit.
I think it did good. I had a good crowd, you know.
And so, so I keep doing this and then I, I'm almost done.

I go, I'm too sickened by watching my act.

Then I talked to the guy and he goes, oh, you got the line cut.

Yeah.

So yeah, don't worry about that.

You know, we didn't put the laughs in from the audience yet. I go, what are you fucking talking about?

What am I watching?

Just me bomb.

And he's like, oh, well, you know what worked. I'm like I'm like no my I was discombobulated you had that yeah we're the same thing we watched it with the laughs mixed way down and it's just the most horrible feeling oh my god you did that it was so sad I go turn it off yeah it's horrible because also you realize that there are laughs there but to you it looks like you're milking a thing i'm just dying i'm like i saw people watching with me going i'd cut that that feels like it's got like a dead spot i'm like yeah i mean it's the middle of my joke why is there a dead spot they're like oh did you want the one where people are enjoying and laughing and then you'll know which one's working.
I'm like, I want that one.

They're like, oh, sure, we can send that over.

Why do they mix it down when they show it to you?

How about it wasn't even in?

Technical reason?

I don't know.

Ask your wife, what's going on?

Dana, you got a funny thing, too,

about editing a special

where you watched it like 12 feet away

so you wouldn't focus on how you look which i think is i think is really oh yeah they push it too tight like you put a laptop way far away for your first watch down of it which i think oh yeah almost anything i'm just so you can hear i only saw chopped from broccoli two weeks ago for the first time are you serious i have a hard time watching myself i just think self-critical so yeah i get it really small get it way far away and kind of squint and then turn it off turn the mute down when i was your guy's age it wasn't as problematic but you know wikipedia me but you get to this age you're like really i mean why am i even on camera no if you see yourself on camera it's so gross but also just seeing dead spots i go i can't and so i go well i have to rethink what i'm cutting because i was gonna make like a 12 minute special i go these aren't and they're like oh no that was because i was there i had a good show it was in denver anyway it doesn't come until april but i'll text all you guys a group chain. I'll tell you when it comes out.
Just put the product into the marketplace. Like you guys, who's do you have a manager that manages all three of you or, you know, a guy with a cigar or a metaphorical cigar going, okay, we got we need product in this quarter.
We're going to be like money. We'll do another movie.
We're going to do we're going to play County County Fest because there's a lot of money. I mean, who is that? Are you all at Tom Parker representatives? Who's the money guy? Yeah.
The booker. We all have the same.
Whose wife? You're all with the same people. Yeah.
That'd be cool though. If we had competing reps.
Yeah. That's the way to do it.
That's it That's how you break up quickly Dane and I were the same guys that like had You know the Bernie Brillstein Company so they had Ackroyd They've had it from day one that's why they're all Do your checks say please don't Destroy on them or your individual names Yeah Good question Individual LLCs We're all incorporated and do they have funny names who's got the funniest name and so it begins start out as artist and then get the cash no you actually with the 50th there's a lot of sponsors. You guys actually did an Allstate commercial.

You did?

That's what we're promoting today.

That's what we got coming out.

You co-wrote that

or you had so much input into it, I assume,

or just did it yourselves, basically.

Yeah, we did two of them.

When does the next one come out?

This week? I don't know. SNL was like, you guys are doing a commercial.
So then we did a commercial. Yeah.
They killed my commercial. David and I are available.
We're just saying, you know, I had a Super Bowl commercial and they told me and Lauren killed it. I'm like, God dang it.
When you were on the cast. Lauren killed it and then Lauren was in the Super Bowl commercial.
They needed someone. I thought that was...
Lauren did bye-bye. Yeah, he did it with Helen Hunt and I was like, you could crush that.
I do something like that. Wait, that's kind of like my bit.
Yeah. Bye-bye.
I would just say do everything. Does he say bye-bye? Nobody could.
He could do it. That's one of the few he could do.
Bye-bye. There's a really good show in there somewhere and it'd be like really good if we have a two-week break.
His stuff around that makes me laugh so hard every time it does dry sarcasm being really nice if it was actually a funny show yeah you're you're going away for break it'd be nice if people could compliment you at thanksgiving but yeah i love i love the notes like that because it's always just like You're so nervous And for somebody to be like That wasn't very good It's kind of like refreshing Yeah Yes It is I like this On air I see on the commercials They bump you know And they show like the sketch Being broken down Or usually Or they go to a commercial And they come back Just in the middle And Lauren's just standing there near the set. Like, you know, this is the one that counts just so you know.
Well, not my first season. He would be out on the floor and everyone was terrified, obviously nervous.
And he had, he always had a glass of Chardonnay and be very relaxed. I thought this must be a message to us to calm the fuck down yeah just come up right before you the sketch he

goes um this sketch needs to breathe and then just walk away breathe what but he was right anyway he's the greatest character uh yeah to do but um when did you become friends with him Like how long into your cast member?

I, you know, he always, it took me a long time to really kind of not be intimidated by him, even though I was only there and his, you know, he had done five seasons, was gone for five. So he was 40 years old, but you're still kind of intimidated because the original cast, the original Saturday Night Live, the folklore.
But at the end of my first season, he said, you know, come to long, come out to Amagansett this weekend. So I just thought there'd be a lot of people there, but it was just me and Lauren going out on the teeter totter.
And then we hung out for a weekend together. We went to movies and stuff.

Would you like Milk Duds or popcorn?

Wow.

Back to the seasaw?

He had a Mustang, and we'd drive around the island,

and he'd point at things.

If it all goes away, I've always got that.

God, that's awesome.

I can't wait to meet him one day.

Yeah, you should meet him.

Doesn't he come to your birthdays and stuff?

Growing up. Yeah.

Everyone, Lauren's here.

He was singing me songs and stuff.

Yeah.

Dana was singing to him this weekend

at the God dang. Oh, forget it.

What's that? Oh, his birthday.

His birthday cake at the

party.

David, I don't know if you know this about me But I've always been a fan Of exploring new places Not like you, kind of, you know, no offense And one of my best trips Listen up, is when I stayed at an Airbnb Felt like I was Living like a local With all the space, comfort of home. You know, hotels can be a hassle.
Room service and then the housekeeper, it's a hassle. So then you go to Airbnb and you can get whatever you want, a little cottage, this and that.
It's fantastic. You have your own separate space.
So it's a great product for people who travel. david yes i have friends doing one of these right now if you have a home you can airbnb it it's fantastic i mean um to to monetize your home when you're not there seems like a good idea i mean look i'm on the road a lot i could probably do it it's it's something that people can do when they travel.
They have extra space. Or you're at a place not full-time.
You come in the winter. You leave in the summer.
That's something you should think about. It's a way to get some extra money.
And it's a cool experience. Your home might be worth more than you'd think.
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All right. Let me ask some Oprah type questions.
Yeah. Quickly.
We got gotta let these guys go here you are like thinking five years ago you're coming to nyu you're funny together you're doing stuff and now here you are now what would you tell your younger self yourself of coming right out of college because this doesn't always just happen it's all it takes a lot of things to come together for all of us you know so um are you um high as a kite all day you're happy or more nervous than you were in some ways because the stakes are higher having fun i don't know just throwing stuff out because we don't have any response to that i guess like you're doing the right thing i don't know i was so like racked with anxiety of like pursuing this thing that like doing sketch comedy shows for like five people as like a an adult and not making any money being like is this what am i doing this for so i guess like there is something you're onto something i don't know yeah did you ever have any adults say to you well this probably won't work out but it's going to help you in whatever you'll probably end up doing yeah i my i think mario your dad too it was like this is not nice this is not a nice business yeah but and that was the main thing i i wanted to be a disney kid more than anything and they were like no way i was like my birthday asked when i was nine was for an agent what's a disney kid to be on a show like wizards of waverly places yeah yeah exactly like i always wanted it they were like absolutely not so then once we started. Did you dress up as Kuzco like I did for Halloween? You did? No, I'm not allowed.
I can't dress as my own thing. Martin, did you go to the set of Happy Gilmore? I did, yeah, yeah.
Is it fun? How's Uncle Adam? He's good Did you sit on his lap?

Uh-huh That place is a cavalcade of stars out there

Every time I talk to those guys

It's like someone else came by and they threw him up in there

Sounds like fun though

Have you guys talked to Marcelo yet?

No, he's been stonewalling us

Domingo? Domingo?

Hey!

Hey!

Yeah

Thank you. to marcello yet no he's been stonewalling us with domingo domingo hey hey yeah he's uh he's got a big personality man this is but he's he's uh makes you happy when you see him because i know it's like dopamine or something it's it's great to be around we want him on the show you guys have any connections i see him at the improv sometimes For stand-up Marcello's hilarious Because it'll be like He'll be screaming in your face Doing a bit with you And then at the end of it He'll go like God, I'm so tired, man You're like You are? This is him tired? Yeah He just got tired from yelling Yeah Well, I think the cool thing What you guys have going on is that you just make your own work you know and the movie is on peacock for the rest of our lives um treasure at foggy mountain you guys wrote that did that so you're in a i would say that to anyone if you can create your own work, create all these mini feature films you're doing, you know, it feels like someone might go, I like that one, make that into a full movie.
But yeah. And the other observation I thought about later, sorry, was the self deprecating kind of characters you are, the likability, you know, you're always just, just extremely likable as, as as as actors on that screen you know because we're you're you're reacting to madness and stuff in a very real way so i think you it's just a great lane to be in in show business not asking for permission i mean not having to go audition like you are your own ecosystem we talk about that all the time of like if you're just an actor in la waiting for auditions how do you keep your mental health like how do you keep going it seems impossible that was something i was gonna say when you guys asked if we all have the same agents is sometimes we'll all get the same audition like we'll audition for the same parts and we'll all do a tape and then send it and we'll see what our agent's funny to each of us love this take so you also will audition for maybe for a part in a movie and stuff like that just as yourself yeah and you don't you don't necessarily not as a trio yeah i do a lot of solo modeling too oh good yeah yeah that's yeah that makes sense tall who's the tallest ben is the tallest right yeah yes thank you for getting that on the record yes and also everybody thinks i'm short but i'm not okay because you have two tall partners me too yeah yeah how tall are you John for the record.
Six feet tall. That's pretty good.

Six feet,

5'11", and... How tall are you John For the record Six feet tall That's pretty good Six feet Five eleven And Oh no I'm six three I was saying that John is five eleven Oh five eleven John are you five eleven No I'm six feet I went to the hospital the other day Jesus Christ Just to get yeah.
Why does Dana say we have to interview that pipsqueak today? Pipsqueak is a great word. This is Zoom.
They're bigger than you can see in the frame. You look tiny, these guys.
All three of them. David, when are you going to come to the show? I know.
I think I'm coming in December now to come watch so uh i haven't been um maybe i did a tour this year so i'm gone every weekend i can't even come see dana so i think i'm going to come visit and just like give ahead nods in hallways and stuff like that we gotta do a video we guys should do a video oh yeah let me know if there's anything so I can kill it. Anyway.

No, but I love you. You guys are great.

I'm doing a wrap up because you guys are great,

but I just want to say thanks for coming in.

Are we wrapping up?

Yeah, we did it.

You guys did great.

I can do this for hours.

I know.

It is fun.

The second half was going to be you guys talking,

but we didn't have time.

We reached our quota of 17, words between you guys are at 2200 but um no but it is fun to finally talk to you guys and meet you guys and uh always funny on the show i hate to sound sincere but any any wrap-up thing you guys want to say? Yeah, anything you want to say we didn't get out. We got a plug, got anything.
Any questions or answers? 6'5". I didn't say it, but I'm 6'5".
Okay, good. That's what we were talking about.
The same as Travis Kelsey, who the latest like. Yeah.
Yeah, every Instagram is girls going, the guy has to make a million and be 6'5". I'm like, Jesus Christ.
I'm like, what about the part having three pantries? That's never making it there. What's that skateboard in the background, David? This one is Jack Spade.
That's my brother's old company. And they made a skateboard because he's a skater.
This one is Bruce Lee on a board that i was as a present because i skate i used to i'm kind of a phony now but i used to skate a lot so do you do it i couldn't i'm too scared though i used to skate and then i'm too brittle and i i don't you know if i go into a pool or a ramp it's like yeah i tried my buddy's ramp and it was so huge it was wood and my my wheels would

slide more because i was used to cement it's just so hard and then you fall it's like oh my god so i know one fall you're done yeah i can't do it i so i just talk about skating wear the t-shirts and stuff just a phony no me too i got a knoxville t-shirt on right now oh yeah all right here's The safest way to get thrills recreationally.

Cocaine.

Yeah. t-shirt on right now oh yeah all right there's a quiz the safest way to get thrills recreationally cocaine yeah that was my second one uh a wave runner or you know on a lake that's empty because you can just fly off sometimes those are boring though because you're not allowed to splash so people get near someone else it has to be to be an empty lake.
I just lease the whole lake. I invested.
Anyway. All right.
Thanks, guys. And my net worth is...
Oh, yeah. Go to black.
Anyway, we'll see you guys in a couple weeks. We love you guys for real.
Thanks for having us, guys. Thank you.
I enjoyed it. Appreciate you all very much.

Thanks, guys.

Bye, guys.

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