SUPERFLY #39 - Sickening Banana

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Who's Whackin' Phoenix and his lady Goo Goo?

Whackin' Phoenix would have got a big laugh.

Yeah.

What happened?

What's this guy with Whackin' Phoenix?

No, I'm not joking around here.

So anyway, that was a fun little Biden-y thing.

That's his name, folks.

That's his name.

That's his name.

First name, Whackin'.

Second name, Phoenix.

Come on.

I mean, seriously. his name first name whacking second name phoenix come on i mean seriously

we're already going i think this is it well this is this is um we're just here to lighten the load you know yeah for people in these troubled times and with all the contentiousness over the election and all that stuff.

We're just trying to lighten the load a little bit

through the election and all that stuff we're just trying to lighten the load a little bit dude the election in the air is palpable it's palpable how do you spell that you were a spelling champion that's right it's a tough one palpable david spade for the win my vietnamese buddy uh shin was his name he and i when we were in uh fourth grade we walked down to sixth grade for reading and math i don't like to talk about it um but uh he was in the spelling bee too and we all got smoked my word my word if it's palpable i'd be like okay heather uh i'd like here's my word palpable that's what you say danny you have to say palpable about this when you're in the bigs oh i i had my my day okay okay ready i walk up there in my op shorts my op shirt from miller's outpost my budget for the year was a hundred dollars i know that my mom would you have a hundred dollars to get your school closed for the year. Could you do that, Kim K?

So? my budget for the year was a hundred dollars i know that my mom would you have a hundred dollars to get your school closed for the year could you do that kim k so huh palpable p a p l p no no no it's p a l i knew that just okay good it's p a l p a b l a probably pretty easy right I'm not sure it's p-a-l p-a-b-l-a probably pretty easy right uh i'm not sure it's correct but here's the here's the thing i want to ask you yes it was i'm doing i'm doing what drove jerry crazy i want to ask you a question no one asked you can i ask you a question before i ask you the question um the big word when i was in fourth grade if you could, you were badass. And it was from a Mary Poppins movie.
You're a little younger than me, but it was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Expialidocious, yeah.
Even though it's hard to say, what's the next line? The song? Yeah. I don't know.
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Don't finish that sentence. The worst cockney accent in the history of film.
I mean, I love Dick Van Dyke, but it was... He couldn't go to England.
He couldn't go to London. He'd be mobbed.
They're like, oh, they go, oh my God, is that guy really American? Because I saw the movies. Yeah, look at it.
I can do... I won't do my British accents yet, but...
I would like to be british if i could be any british it wouldn't be concrete because it's someone who subtly talks like an intellectual you know the property owners always shut down on the non-property owners in the 17th century blow it out your ass motherfucker look i got a haircut i don't want to over talk about it but check this shit out i don't know all we do is obsessed about hair people say in the comments but i don't give a care uh also they said well i don't read the comments no i do boy they don't like you dude anyway um all i can say is i don't want to know because i'm too self-critical and i would i would curl up into a ball if someone said kind of anything that wasn't perfect and i would start crying so if they said your performance was a nine out of ten you'd start crying yeah i go what what what do i got what went wrong yeah what do i got to do to get to ten you know better thumbnails i happen to get the best review of my life. You can look up and i just thought it was funny it was in the new york times you've heard of them haven't you metaphorical that commie rag yep so about my biden so that was uh your kids can check it out online it was the best usually i'm just annihilated as most comedians are.
Hack over, you know, mugging, pushing. Why'd they give you a break? I don't know.
Because Biden, we were getting a lot of flack for for the last year. They talked about the breakdown of the impression, and it put me in the context of the nine other cast members, you because jason sudeikis was at the party and his head with his sweet little daughter and tisies me and so i leaned down i'm dressed as biden i go you can touch it you can feel it she's very adorable kind of touch it and i go your daddy good night uh jason if you're listening ah this is a g-rated this is biden at the cast party you crazy person but the word daddy is intense because boys don't call their dads i know our dads were a little extra a little special but don't boys don't call their dads daddy too much do they at five, six, seven? No, I think when they're little.
I think girls mostly say,

Daddy, so i said your daddy used to play this character president joe biden he was vice president 10 years ago but he played him as kind of a she goes huh she goes my daddy was in motion paterson well why do you have a southern accent no she goes she goes she goes my daddy was in Motion Pictures. Well, why do you have a southern accent? She goes, my daddy was in a soccer show.
What have you done? And you go, okay, relax. I know, that was a big hit.
Yeah, she was six years old and she said, you ever heard of a show called Ted Lasso? Yeah. Well, if you haven't.
Starting to get it? Yeah. Are you starting to get it starting to get it this is nothing like jason sudeikis daughter i just want to do an exclaimer it's funny but it was fun to see him i ran into my buddy mikey uh mikey uh keaton who was on our podcast miguel keaton yes mickey he's always a fun time yeah yeah i ran into my buddy uh alec baldwin who's been on this show twice who was playing brett bear and uh he is a funny character he just leans into your dressing room out of the blue and goes you know who had the best hair in hollywood long wait hugh o'brien he just walks away this is Alec.
Alec is a movie fanatic. He was funny on the podcast.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He gets going with Bill Hader, apparently, and they get down into some Scorsese film and some guy with brown shoes in the corner of the frame.
And I'm telling you, that overhead shot was magnificent. I'm doing Alec.
Cremated. As a British lord.
But he's a great guy, a conversationalist. He can just go.
I'm going to interject your SNL party story because I want to hear more about SNL, especially at the top of the show. That I was at, this just hit me.
That's a good tease. That's a good tease was i was out heather could chime in there's a guy waiting for the hostess at a restaurant he's with wife two kids the son

i remember he had glasses on sunday glasses he's behind the son they're waiting for the hostess

to give him some more information they're just bored he's behind the son the son is five seven

Thank you. he's behind the sun they're waiting for the hostess to give him some more information so they're just bored he's behind the sun the sun is five seven so he could be 13 if he's my size he's probably 13 yeah so he's got both arms around him like this and he's kissing his cheek like this and i'm like so his dad is facing forward the five foot seven kicks behind him He's in the dad no in front of the dad and so the dad is grabbing the kid and kissing like it's a date i'm like oh that's not his wife and i thought is it peculiar is it palpable is it any of these 24 my friend welcome that's it i just explained it i don't know you can't say never gave us a hug and so we're gonna make up so i'm gonna hug every kid i see if i'm a daddy i'm gonna make up for all that pain and then the pendulum you've heard of those if you can spell it i'll give you a dollar e go ahead swings back and it's it's it's it's very maybe it's more italian and really it's over dadding because i said new word i felt it was my duty to walk up and interrupt this and just put like this between As a small biz owner, you don't have the luxury of clocking out early.
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Yeah, I think when you're trying to hire someone, there's a lot of different things you're looking for, but you want them to kind of have your aesthetic, your sensibility, if you were. You could look up those words, David.
Sure. And would.
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Well, you're back. I like that the audience stuck with us through that roller coaster of emotions.
It's nice that they do, through the technical thing, someone reaches. If two people are driving, let's go to SmartList.
Another person grabs their arm and says, wait a minute, give them a chance. Yeah.
And that was Will Arnett, is the guy in the car. Oh, he wanted to hear us? Thanks, Will.
No, we have technical difficulties, but you know what? Stars, they're just like us. Are we stars? In love the scenario he's giving me a little close-up for you audio only listeners but i have cards made based on that um it's it's just that excuse me you're over daddy and so when i see over daddy i just hand the guy the card excuse me you're over daddy the guy that was leaning on the kid and like Frenching him basically? I have a restaurant bathroom story that's kind of interesting.
You know when you're driving on the five? Please. And you go to a bathroom and it's only one bathroom.
You're like, okay, hopefully this is just a 30 seconder. It's 20 with multiple multiple flushes and you're thinking what kind of creature is going to walk out of this place i'm talking flush oh you mean when you are going to waiting at a gas station for the bathroom and it's multiple flush again again the sink runs back to flushingushing what kind of human being or creature is going to a mirror emerge because i i have no options you know when people go in there like when you're in the airplane and you hear a flush that's the sign like when i flush which might be one of the three loudest noises in america yeah yeah the flush walk it's

so loud i go well you just you feel you could lose a hand yeah you don't want to go i think in

joder too my nuts got sucked down i don't want to give the whole movie away but i think that

happened but that's it's so loud and then i go i have x amount of time to get out of here

because everyone's like waiting like okay what are you doing now i'm like now i'm just like

Thank you. so loud and then i go i have x amount of time to get out of here because everyone's like waiting like okay what are you doing now i'm like now i'm just like now it's the weird time where you did flush what are you doing get out well well another flush is scary are you then pivoting to the mirror going do i really look this this fucking bad? You're putting water on your face.

You're trying to act like you're sobered up and you freshen up.

And then you come out like, what's up gang?

How's it going?

Yeah.

I come out and I go like, I always go like this.

That's an old Farley bit.

You walk out and you go like this.

Airplane stick.

Did your hair.

Well, I do a full shaving cream shave in there when i go in there and i come out with half of it on me like some cool hand luke movie or something how could you look at yourself in that gross mirror for that one no i i everything i do compared to other people is fast i walk fast i use the bathroom fast everything is expedient and fast you're a You're a lollygagger i heard no no no when i go in there if i take too long i usually in there stretching i just stretch out i go i look at my phone sometimes i don't even pee i just want to get up you know and if you stand there by the door they go uh-uh not by the door someone told me that once step away from the door i go you don't even work here no there's someone coming out of that door you think i'm the guy that's gonna take us all down he was like this sir sir i love it when they put the beverage cart across the way so the pilot can use the restroom and they have like a 40 pound flight attendant or like just laying on it and is making this little cross arm thing like it's a bern mom like don't even try it they're like don't oh yeah because sometimes the pilots take too long and they're taking a deuce and then the people get a little sleepy on the cart and then they make a vodka tonic and then and then the pilot comes out i'm like dude you did you fall asleep are you okay sorry you you reminded me of the previous week's episode where john lovitz was hanging out during the practice show he's right next to the camera was making little fists to me like go go go and he gave me a line that i just tried for the crew which is biden saying come on i just I just dropped a deuce. This was during the, it didn't play too well, so I thought it was funny.
Anyway, deucey, deucey. They take out all the funny ones.
You know why they don't like it? Because it's funny. Yeah.
Okay, so finish SNL. Let's hear more.
I realize, well, one is they have a pre-tape thing across town. They have a giant, you've got 8H studio.
Over on 66th Street is like a 10-floor pre-tape for, you know, all the different video films they're doing. Please don't destroy guys.
Shut your mouth. Everything.
So I go over there and go, well, you come over as Biden and be in this thing. Then I find out everybody's in it and it's a TikTok thing.
And I'm just bouncing around as Biden. Now that morning, I didn't think I'd be going in.
So I did the stairs at my hotel, 420 stairs all out. You heard me because I like to feel that.
And then, so they put me on this vibrating platform and i didn't have to act i was my legs were shaking legs get shaky oh yeah i'm dressed as biden so i'm shaking i saw that i like that they just have a note on the refrigerator in the break room going biden is tech avail for all sketches you just throw them in there tana just walks around i go can you be in ours you just go yep what do you want me well i kind of want to do a show where he dies stay in the i stay in the get up and then he just appears in the background in sketches or just walks across at the very end like where's waldo that biden is somewhere in every other sketch but maybe he's in a sketch for the first half and then someone says hey you're not in this sketch everyone's waiting for you to talk because you're in it for some reason and then you go oh you just get up and walk out but i might do this on the live show is is sneak up behind colin jost and michael che like literally on on like a combat mission and then just come up into the frame look at them like that and then just kind of go back down and they don't even know it they get a big laugh they don't know it and then i know they go back and then you go hey chevy that was and then you just go back down who's the guy was that is that biden yeah hey hey come on guys hey chevy hey eddie murphy then you leave okay i got you it's chevy chasing eddie murphy. No one better.
Give him applause. Give him applause.
So that Billie Eilish is amazing. I just want to live in her vibe.
That first song she did, it's just so whispery and so her. Was it in like mirrors or something? There was some set I saw.
Yeah, they were looking at, they're floating this guy, her and Phineas, looking down in a mirror. And they just get into these mellow grooves and her singing is so intimate and it's catchy.
It's cool. So I'm a fan.
What can I say? I mean, she's been around a long time. And when she turns 19, I think that she's going to.
When you come out hot and heavy in the world at 14 or 13 yeah i know it seems like she's been here forever she's 22 but that's like bieber he's he's you know 26 right now you're like he's been in this business 200 years i i know i got in i got on snl at 51 my ladies and gentlemen so here's an example of things you so i do the little biden piece as part of the brett bear interrogating um maya uh kamala and i had he's kind of confused he starts talking about the joker movie but they don't know it and so so i thought of later i went who's who's who's lady you know whatever i did that didn't land i thought later i should have said and who's whacking phoenix who the hell is he just whacking phoenix and his lady goo goo whacking phoenix would have got a big laugh yeah what happened what's this guy with whacking phoenix no i'm not joking around here so anyway that was a fun little uh bideny thing you know that's his name folks that's his name that's his name first name whacking second name phoenix come on i'm being serious you could have put corn pop in there i could have popped no his name is popcorn no corn pop is popcorn yeah i reversed it he's really popcorn he goes you could have put popcorn in there and still would have ate it. You didn't need to pay that much money.
My current catchphrases are, guess what? And by the way, the fact of the matter is, let me be real here. I'm being serious.
Not kidding around. This isn't rocket science, folks.
Get real. That's it.
That's a good run. I want to put a run in like that that's all you need just come in they ask a question you say that and that's your answer yes but a lot of biden is like when he stops talking he goes i'm being serious i you know it needs a beat before the audience knows that he stopped so yeah he has something to say never says it and then he just stares stops with big eyes um so billy eilish was amazing um michael keaton was always you know michael keaton has a lot of just personal energy he's like after the dress show he's like i don't know i don't do this this often i don't know what the fuck i'm doing out there.
And I said, nobody does. This is really hard.
So all you got to do is say, what the fuck? And have fun. And then he nails it on air.
Sterical. So there you go.
He's a pro. What was his monologue? Oh, it was a Beetlejuice? Beetlejuice, which Mikey Day's favorite film is Beetlejuice.
He's been obsessed with doing Beetlejuice on the show. Never had a chance.
So that was his idea of the monologue and it was a dream come true because i guess he was like eight or something when beetlejuice came out he got possessed by it and now you know the rest of the story i'm paul harvey that goes back to the 60s well he's like waiting his whole life then here here waltzes in michael keaton right into 8h you get your beetlejuice pits i know yeah if someone does he not want to do beetlejuice or do you say uh does some you know some hosts as we know when they come in they go i don't want to do anything about this about this and you're like oh well no i think that he kind of uh i mean when you do a movie, it hasn't happened to me, but you do this, the 80s, and then you go all the way to 2024, and it's a big hit movie. You know, hundreds of millions worldwide.
You just got to feel good about that. And he didn't, he hasn't lost his step.
He was Beetlejuice. It wasn't like, here comes like here comes old guy beetlejuice he's just like on fire and um alec baldwin funny story from him you know well i walked in the studio and saw three of his little boys that were so cute you know i don't know four six and eight hey daddy dad it was adorable and then he said that he he showed them uh beetlejuice and he showed him it was a picture he showed him because alec ballin was in beetlejuice in the 80s and goes that's right and he says that's daddy and they said that's not daddy because he was he looks exact same pretty much well he's got the hair is crazy yeah but you know how little kids are that's not daddy then they put it to beetlejuice that's daddy i don't know maybe they're getting with him funny buddy funny stuff funny yeah i forgot how alec was in beetlejuice i know the second one um i don't think so he was in it as sort of the straight man you know that's not why he came to the show, was it? He was doing Bret Baier.

No, it was right after where I first saw him.

I think it was after one of those submarine movies

or something.

Oh, yeah.

When he came to SNL to host the first time,

that was my third show or second show.

And he goes, I go,

what do you want to do with your life?

He was doing Hunt for Red October, yeah.

And he goes, I want to do this.

I want to do Broadway.

I want to do comedy.

You think I'm going to be stuck on a submarine 14 hours a day going aye aye sir he said that so it was a hit huge hit movie also it was a franchise he could he dropped out of it to do broad car named desire that's it and yeah and wanted to be a new york and loved snl and couldn't believe it's a great sketch player i mean he nailed it as brett bear you know i take my pills on air i don't care okay i'll take a vitamin c both who oh gina davis yeah they played a couple in beetlejuice they both are not the second one dana just you know well should i tell okay i'll tell you quickly about the banana i was on the road but uh if we can get it we've never i love a banana story so on the road because i always have to eat because i get like dizzy so i'm like anyway what can you really carry on the road protein bars isn't it so sometimes out of the hotel i bring a banana because i'm like that's the quickest thing if you're in a pinch carry it whatever like a football uh good potassium fiber go ahead right so i threw i have an old snl bag my my bag says starting live really 25 on it so that was a merch gift from the last reunion we did 2000 did you not you didn't know where i got that yeah so it's all faded so it doesn't look like i'm trying to really ask me about snl no one knows i was ever on snl anyway so i got that but it's a cool leather bag looks like a doctor bag so anyway some i carry of course way too much when i'm on the road but i throw bananas in there for the road anyway so i finished the road and i picked up my snl bag it's leather yeah when i'm done on the road so it's obviously i'm oh it burned a hole through right something burned a hole through my and i picked it was sticking to the table so i'm looking at the wood going what did i spill here we find out it's the banana there was a banana in there and it'd been there for at least two weeks and uh they get black and then other things happen well wait a minute i mean do you know how do they get corrosive i mean what is the i don't know it ate through the bottom of my snl bag that ain't no banana

just play that video right let's just see what it is there's heather are we seeing what's It's fuzzy, fuzzy, fuzzy.

What is this? What is that?

What is that? What is that?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, there it is.

Oh, that's the banana. Whoa.
Okay. So it, that's, are you fucking kidding me? I need a raise.
I need a raise. That's green and white.
All right, too much house in that. Okay, there you go.
See, there's the photo. Oh, man.
So that is a banana, and it's going like this. Hey! So it corroded itself, but did it actually get through the leather bag? Did it go through the leather? Or it just became...
Or it corroded and then... Itded it's where it stuck to the wood and then i couldn't i was so look at the wood then look at the bag i go oh my god it's from the bag what got on the bottom nope somehow through sickening i was famous for throwing banana peels over my shoulder when i would drive my little Bug and people would laugh.
I just do it. I would throw everything over my shoulder.
You could find anything back into the back seat. I'd throw clothes, coins, extra cash, bananas, fruit, shoes, everything.
So when anyone was in my car and needed something, I go, it's probably back there. Yeah.
When the banana peels would rock. People come in the car and say, why do you have so much shit in your car? That's what people do what people do to me and i go you don't you don't need to worry about what's in my car i this is i didn't know i was having company and if anyone comes to get a ride forget it because my passenger seat is my garage basically so i'm like i know i've you've given me a ride and it takes about five minutes to clear the front seat i go, geez, bro.
I'm not that far away, but it's like all this stuff's on there. I give you a ride home from Coy.
I'm like, it's here. Why do you have a machete? Don't worry about it.
This goes here. Why is there blood? I had a hitchhiker.
Don't worry about it. I pick it up.
Flak jack? Really? Cracker jacks also?

Mm-hmm.

Cracker jacks and a flak jack.

Yeah,

come on.

By the way,

so let's show

some stories.

Let's show

some stories

or what's going

on in the world.

So people can

be entertained.

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Astronaut shows how to eat ketchup at zero gravity. Okay.
Let's do it. This is sort of...
This is how you eat ketchup. You're shaking a bottle of ketchup.
We're going to eat ketchup at zero gravity. Okay.
This is risky. You got to spread it out.
Oh my God, it works. Look at how sick it is.
Gross. What are you doing? It might be sicker than he eats ketchup.
I don't care where you are. Note to self.
Cancel a space station trip. Thank you.
Yeah. Hey, the first thing we do, we get into space.
By the way, that doesn't remind me they should do a porn in space it doesn't remind me for no reason there's no nothing that would remind me of that no that wouldn't mean anything but isn't tom cruise gonna do a movie in the space station and it's gonna be a hard r i mean it hard r no i don't know dana but he is gonna do one the space station would you go do uh bus boys in the space station if that if i wasn't if bus boys sequel is in the space station and the the uh trailer was just me squirting theo with ketchup like that that would be just that's the only trailer we don't anything else i just i'd go people bus boys in space and just that in slow motion and then just you thought they didn't know what they were doing on earth yeah it's not bad yeah there you go dude i got some bus boy updates for your next show next show okay i want to hear it's real it's real hush hush right everything's like everything's like that's always a good sign now you know what the good sign is is when your agent manager publicist all call you together you're like they go we have jimmy stevie little bob and gervitz on the phone for you and you're like okay gervitz like let me set the table Let me set the table spade i don't know if you'll say yes this because i know you don't like money dana likes money not like you like money i'm the worst i'm the worst client ever i mean they used to call kevin klein kevin decline that's funny kevin decline no no no yeah um so yeah i I have I tend to want to stay at home and watch movies and Danny you want to do a casino gig on a Wednesday in Sheboygan it's three flights and a two hour time difference it's not that far from the Arctic Circle you can see a polar bear run up there You don't like fun or money. Okay.

I'm sure I can find some client likes it.

Somebody likes money on my roster.

Let me get space.

Space circling the airport right now.

Ready to go.

Yeah.

I know.

Well, we would be like around the world,

like a flight that never, you know, we refuel in space.

Yeah.

If you didn't turn it down, the shit they go, every time you know we refuel in space yeah if you didn't turn

it down the shit they go every time you turn around how about this i'm like ah i don't know why don't i just pitch a tent near the airport or something so i can just be ready to get airborne did you get into this because when i was watching comedians on tv in the 1960s i didn't think well, I'd like to do i'll probably be flying i'll be in airborne for most of my life and then playing corporate parties to a board ballroom that's drunk and tired as the ceo gets me in a headlock and go what's up church lady yeah no shit i thought Hey, one of our VPs is going to come up and kick you in the nuts. Is that cool? Or should we call your agent? I don't know.
You can do it. Disclaimer.
Usually they're very nice. With what we're paying you, come on.
Come on. But yeah, you could live.
We're lucky enough, first world problem, to live on the road.

If you take all the casinos in North America, comedy clubs, small theaters, big theaters,

whatever, we could live in the sky, plop it down, do our shtick and get back in the sky.

Yeah, we have never ending jet lag.

We don't know where we are.

I'm born in Michigan, so I'm still feeling that two hour time difference it's never gone away so now when i fly that's okay that's a good joke i process that it's not never quite got adjusted it's just a thing it's a biological thing it's 2 p.m for me right now it's 2 p.m for me oh i don't know i i'm in New York half the time. I don't know what time it is.
Oh, yeah. By the way, you're living in New York.
It's crazy. I am.
All right. Next story.
We don't want to get into Dana and get him into a spin. No, into a spin.
Okay, this is... I thought this was interesting.
Read a biolog. I'll read out loud for the people at home.
A little listening, driving. A photo of cellmates.
There's two guys in jail playing NBA 2K on a flat screen. It's like a 70-inch flat screen, which is four inches from their face.
It's going viral. And wearing brand new Convert or Nikes or something.
What is that? Donut shoe. Maybe that's a prison shoe.
But isn't there a swoosh above it? Yeah. The Nike swoosh.
Oh, maybe that's socks swoosh above it yeah the nike nike socks oh maybe that's socks okay well what this says is that uh this particular group of gentlemen that are in a prison or a jail of some kind are having a very good time in jail right i remember when i was younger jail was no fun that's what i was told i don't know for sure but they're like you shouldn't go to jail it's no fun but you get three hots and a cot remember that term three hot meals three hot meals in a cot and now you get three hots a cot and an 80 inch flat screen where you can play mba video games maybe they're just in there. Maybe it's one of those smash and grab things where they're just in there for like 45 minutes until they get a ring.
But who's getting a TV? Who gets a TV that big in your cell? I mean, I guess it's... I didn't picture a cell with TVs, but I figured like in the yard or they have like a cafeteria with a tv and they all fight over the channel but that's how it is in movies but um this is this this isn't great they're too tall i would have no problem sitting on that bottom bunk sitting up straight and watching dr oh you could stand on that bottom bunk dana dana no i could too we're in the same we're in the same tribe but anyway okay next one but that was interesting that jails come a long way yeah okay what's um next one this is when you don't want to get a get out of jail card there you go there you go there's the mic drop Okay, is okay don't play it don't play it okay this is a prank show which i fucking hate by the way if anyone i see a prank

on instagram i don't like it i block them sorry that's how tough i am i'm fucking tough i run a

tight instagram no no i'm here to have fun you're gonna one to see you yeah exactly you be mean to me gone that's not why i'm here i'm not here no i don't i don't like practical jokes i don't like surprise practical jokes when they look good like they're in a bush and they scare people and the people wipe out into a pole and hit their head and you're like he's dressed like a bush i go all it does is help the practical joker and get him views and he's totally relaxed having fun the other person looks like a fucking asshole and it ruins their day in the end of the day it's about humiliating or frightening people yeah it's a terrific thing but this one's funny this one's all that said can you start it over or no let's get ready to rumble it's up. Okay.
Okay. So volume, let's go.
Let's see. Perhaps have to be among the most popular.
So she sits. A little loud.
Maybe a little less loud. So she falls.
A little less loud. And then when the poor victim is given some water to recover.
She falls again.

It's loud.

Whoa, and so they dug up.

It's a trap.

The grass is a pit covered by a fake turf.

By the way, you're for sure getting hurt.

The poor victim finally gets to go home.

One final trap awaits them. victim finally gets to go home Well everyone loves it so much like I mean the sound of it never they get it's violent.
It's violent dude. You get a hurt you fall you're falling backwards You're hitting your head on that who knows if that's perfectly breakaway you know i've hit people with boards and like movies and stuff and they score it so it breaks but you're still like sometimes it doesn't break it something about that culture like would we you and i go in we pitch it and we make an americanized version called tridor yeah it's so funny but god dang everyone would sue because america everyone sues over anything but also it would be you could hurt

your neck you're falling backwards through the floor three times i know unbeknownst to her she

thinks she's free and good and then bada bing bada boom very clever they put it in a van and they put

it and then one more there and one more one more we should do a show called america's got lawyers where it's just about you'd like to meet my attorney that's good america's got lawyers i like that all right show something else while i'm preening young woman details how much she spends for one night out at Miami, out in Miami at Live. This is a nightclub.
So she's just reading her bill. I thought this was interesting.
We got a bill reader here. I spent one night out in Miami at Live.
So starting off strong we got four bottles of Ace of Spades Rose for $11,000. She's in a Rolls of Rice I think.
And then we got one big ass bottle of Ace like a huge bottle like that bitch came out on a boat like that was thirty thousand dollars three bottles of Dom for three thousand and six hundred dollars two bottles of closet Azul repo nine thousand six hundred dollars as well two bottles of Ciroc for one thousand one hundred dollars one bottle of McKellen rare I don't know what that is that was a four hundred and fifty dollars we got five packs of water for $1,100. One bottle of McKellen Rare.
I don't know what that is.

$1,450.

We got five packs of water for $257.45.

We got three packs of Red Bull for $144.

Tax was $3,645.56.

We tipped $8,244.35.

$35 on a tip.

And that brought our total to $46,244.35. $0.35 on a tip.
And I bought her a total to $46,241.36 for one night out in Miami. How much is she drinking? She weighs 88 pounds.
I'm kind of processing what I'm seeing. So how many...
I love when Dana sees this. How many people go to this place and were they surprised when the bill came to 360 000 was it like whoa or like you know not bad and i think people puff up when they're really rich i've seen it in clubs where god it's been a while but they bring out like sparklers and it shows because there's rich and there's famous and there's you definitely want people to know you're rich if you're in there.
These guys that are so rich, but no one knows who they are. So they get a booth.
Obviously, that costs a lot. Then they get the sparklers and all the pretty girls come over.
And they give them a big bottle of Dom or Ace of Spades. Huge.
They have like abnormally big ones. And then it's a big show.
And everyone sees the guy. And he goes like, come on, not this again.
And then the fanfare goes down. So he so he orders another they'll order a case of dom i don't even know if they drink it if they just resell it or what but and then girls come over and sit chug bail chug bail sit sit chug bail in that order mix it up and then i don't know it's just the way it is so these nightclubs there's a handful that have it made where they're just raking it in.
And then they go, here's the bill. Here's the tip.
If you want an extra tip. And then if you're super cool baller, here's the third tip you can tip me.
And then you can also just hand me some cash. Well, by the way, 8,000 on what was it? 360,000 is a low ball tip.
At least 10% would have been 36,000. Number one, they didn't really 36 000 number one they didn't really well i thought it was going to be about i think it was less than i think it was under 100 oh well it's fake alcohol but it's for virtual signaling if i may pivot to fake art um you know i once saw i was in a museum there was just a giant white it was 50 feet across just blank canvas and one red dot in the middle and that was it six million dollars two red dots 12 million dollars oh i don't know it is don't even go to three red dots i could never it happens to us in corporate dates if you name your price a certain price let's just let's just blow it out like it's not not us but well that guy that guy's a million dollar comedian you want that guy you gotta have a million oh just because it sounds like a huge amount well then you're a million dollar comedian but that painting is a million dollar painting then you're and you can brag out and also people that want to be able to hire people that are rich or buy something like a painting or go to that nightclub yeah to say dude we blew 300 grand or i was with this guy he spent 300 grand and the guy's like it's literally pennies it's literally nothing it's nothing to me man it's gum on my shoe well by the way you got gum on your shoe so it's virtual signaling letting people know you're wealthy but you kind of wish like if you if i gave you 365 000 and you had saturday you had to spend it on a saturday and say southern california what would you buy you have 10 seconds it turns into brewster's millions remember that movie all right like you can make it three and a half million and you have one day to spend it five seconds go i'd buy half a house in newport and then it's too expensive you'd buy no i'd probably get a i'd probably get a cool car i like cars i don't know which what can you get for three and a half million oh three and a half million i think yeah i just upped it you have three seconds huh the tesla bus was that a new one yeah they've got their tesla bus that i think they'll be sort of sequestered to like airport runs to the sea lot have you heard that they came out with this new perfume is same kind of thing with perfumes oh that's a and it's a million dollar perfume you know what the name of it is elon musk don't ever go like that i'm pointing a lot now you have you have three seconds my giant hands my giant hands say you got three seconds i could go no i there was a movie called brewster's millions was it richard pryor yes it was dick pryor he's a friend he has 30 days to spend 30 million or he doesn't get any of his inheritance and he can't everything buys something he buys a shitty team but then it's worth more and then he does this and everything he can't spend his money fast.
He buys a shitty team, but then it's worth more. And then he does this.

He can't spend his money fast enough.

How about you do a remake?

Spades. That's a good idea.

Spades millions.

You have 10 seconds to answer.

More like Carvey's.

Apparently you don't like money.

All right.

Apparently.

Go ahead.

Now.

We have to do Senator John Kennedy at some point.

Now.

Hang on. Okay.
Oh, this is a girl okay you're not gonna like this i like the comment is this rock bottom for this is an influencer dana and the tough life of an influencer is you just need to get seen and get clicks what is she gonna do she's gonna pet some cows she's gonna feed them yeah let's see puts glasses on okay that's the whole thing that's all she needed 38 000 likes she squeezed the cow's teat boob and pointed it at her face but she had like goggles or glasses on. So she got splattered in the face.

Very pornographic.

With mother's milk, baby, intended for a baby cow.

Not a woman with blonde hair and a jumpsuit.

I should answer and put Sandler on this FaceTime.

I'm not going to.

I can't do that to that guy.

Why is he FaceTiming?

Wait, is he off? Is Dana gone? I can't see dain anymore you can't see me greg come over here i don't keep going i can see you i didn't click anything i know but i just got a facetime and i hung up on it but it oh oh here we are we're back okay oh god we have a real roller coaster of things happening today this this you can't predict this show a lot going on okay what is this let me see okay this is um let's just play this i don't even know what it is random instagram car guys out nighttime on the street pickup truck. Oh, this is one of those Guys stole a whole cigarette thing at 7-eleven.
This is when they go in LA is like a fun thing for Bunch of kids. I think we got into the 7-eleven and grab the whole trip Like yeah, they take packs a cigarettes They take over self-eleven and rob everything in it oh oh they're ransacking they're ransacking 7-eleven i think they get on a chat and say let's go here and just but not a cop in sight i think they there's too many they don't want to start trouble and right because then with that many it could get ugly so they just someone gets shot someone gets this and then everyone goes oh my god they're just kids what are you doing but it looks like probably high school college age i just feel sorry for the owner has to call the insurance company you know um i this is uh dave over at 7-eleven over this neighborhood.
I'm getting ransacked a lot.

I've got to get full coverage.

Getting nailed again?

How much do they take?

They take every single item.

It's about $2 million.

Every single item?

Yeah, I think that's the thing.

They clean me out and I need insurance.

Sorry, sir.

We can't help you at this time.

Yeah, I mean, give them a freebie, but you can't keep hitting the goddamn 7-11 and keep stealing it it's just like crazy what am i doing oh there you go trying to they should open it for seven minutes in the morning and 11 minutes at night that might by the way if they start closing all the 7-11s like they're closing walgreens and all cvs like if there's too many of these then they close it down that means the insurance excuse of like oh they got insurance they can find that they close because insurance doesn't cover you they don't even cover houses anymore to be like fires and everything no you can't give insurance for a home in california you really can't you really can't. Certainly not.
Good luck with that. 10 out of the 12 I tried to get for this dump said no.
We won't even charge you too much. Just not.
We're not even trying. We're not in the game anymore.
Yeah, they said they'd give me fire insurance, but it was more than the cost of the house. That the insurance that's not a good deal

yeah don't close my 7-elevens is the point i don't want this to happen enough to where they close them down i'm like now we don't have seven um okay quick impression of a uh a japanese

american in an earthquake after just hearing this information was I think it's getting worse. Give me a headache.
By the way, that one you didn't go as crazy. You didn't yell.
I like after. What's wrong? He's happy? You got a buzz? He's happy.
Happy because it's a little quake. Baby quake.
No! Oh, that was a big one. I gave you one.
It's what I want. Mm-hmm.
Give the fans. By the way, we're not political on this show, but Kamala is out there doing her thing.
And Trump, they put him at a window in McDonald's. So people are just driving.
Let's go get a burger. And he did seem incredibly happy handing off those burgers.
Do some Trumps. Let's hear it.
You got a beautiful family. Here you go, dull face.
Listen, darling, we put an extra cheeseburger in there. You like the ketchup? We'll put the ketchup.
Beautiful baby boy, beautiful family. Next, you're tremendous.
Look at the thousands. He's always noticing the people.
The thousands of people. I could do this job.
He said, I could do this job. I could do this job.
I do it. Why are you growling so much, Mr.
Ex-President? Because I like to growl and i can growl a lot and i growl every time i do because he's up 22 hours a day i i don't know why he does it it's just they do say he's old and senile now i'm like i don't know because he can stand and talk for two hours i can't my act i do an hour i'm like hello darkness my old friend like it's too much and then he runs the m McDonald's and he campaigns. I mean, when you're on the campaign trail, that's got to be a beating.
They don't include jet lag. You're not even factoring that in.
I guess, like, when I'm driving on a long-distance trip, that's the one time I do go to McDonald's. I get a cheeseburger, small fries, and, like smaller medium coke and that carb sugar salt boost yeah really helps me focus the steering wheel so i guess trump has the metabolism that he can perennially chase energy just give me a cheeseburger when when we get to toledo okay we're in florida i wantO-Fish before I go on and a large coke and so

us we'd get low blood sugar but he can keep chasing it with fast food I want a Filet-O-Fish

underneath the podium I want extra fries they gave me a double everyone is sickened by the fact they get a Filet-O-Fish but I love them and they gave me a double one accidentally it was too much of a good thing i was like i go this is a double sick it's something about was sick plus there's a couple bones it's the tartar sauce i saw they catch them off alaska and there's millions of these little fish really happens is it a real fish yeah real fish and then they sweep them up onto the deck of the thing and they flash freeze them.

Like, this fish was just in the water.

Look, I'm happy.

All of a sudden, like, blah!

And then it's like...

And then it's in your mouth with tartar sauce on it.

An hour later.

An hour later.

They smash all these minnows into little squares,

smash them together.

Yeah.

Freeze!

There's a guy with a big tartar sauce. Sounds like Donald Duck.
Give it a spade. I'm in the window.
Yeah. I love it.
Can't be happier. I've never seen you do the effect denoting enjoying it, but I do think Trump can chase that carb high.'s his secret energy you can keep loading it i'm packing on the pounds yeah he he somehow can eat still to this day mcdonald's which everyone says you got to give it up at some point no kfc mcdonald's all that stuff yeah three milkshakes four filetful fishes and then i'm gonna have my dinner that's an appetizer i had a sort of heaviest driver the other day at one of the gigs we walked down you know some of these small towns it's like one strip of like 18 fast food places you know on the way out of town and i go dude because i know he's he's he's sort of portly-ish and fat yeah so uh i go okay what would you rather have i don't even know if he's listening to me sometimes i think i'm on the phone i go would you rather have wendy's carl's jr or burger king and then he doesn't answer so i forget and we get to the next light and he goes, he's been thinking like McDonald's.

I go, are we still talking?

Oh yeah.

One and a half minutes later of dead silence.

He's like this.

He really gave it some thought.

And then he goes, I'm going to go off the board, Alex.

I'm going to take McDonald's.

It wasn't even a choice.

How about this? What would you pick we're driving hey david dairy queen a and w or jack in the box jack in the box would be third i hate to say it uh no we don't we don't want to lose our sponsors i don't think do we have any dairy queen a w or foster freeze dairy queen a w or foster freeze both i think dairy because i like i used to like a dilly bar and i like when they take the cone and go like this bloop into chocolate and it crunches up oh my wife and i are in montana and this sandwich store was closed subway sandwich so we went into a dairy queen and we looked up and they go there's the hamburger and the fries and the thing and then now they go oh it's 3200 calories oh they put that they put it next to it 9500 calories for this dandy burger fries onion cheesecake factory same thing i'm on page 88 toward the end and i'm like hmm well this is healthy sam and they're like that's only 22 000 calories i go how yeah the things you don't think are a lot sometimes how much is a tartar sauce burger well let me do a little john kennedy interrogating somebody okay now you when you walked in to the dairy queen restaurant were you expecting a low calorie meal your words not mine you I didn't really think about it. When you got a McWhirl World, three double cheeseburgers, were you expecting not too many calories? Is that your point? Is that what you want to do? I'm sorry.
I'm looking at this. Now, I'm just reading this out loud.
There's nothing. Now, just hold on.
Let me tell you. You ordered a a mick heart attack what did you think was in that you got a sunday stroke and then proceeded your words not mine anyway i just want to do a little john kennedy i know i miss it i can't even think of anything to do with him because he's so fucking funny.
He's so fucking great. But it is all about the...
We would like to read some tweets you tweeted on October 4th.

It's funny you deny that because let's pull up a chart of your tweets.

They always give them a chance to lie.

I'm going to give you a chance here.

Your words, not mine.

That's his catchphrase. Your words, not mine.
Oh, he goes, it's right there, big as Dallas. Yeah, he has a lot of that stuff.
Did I look like I fell off a crawdad truck that was full of crawdads going to a tomato festival? Is that what I look used to be a turnip truck but then they sold it but now they pack it with crawdads but then i fell off yeah did i do i look like a swamp creature to you do i look like someone that came out of a swamp just answer the question please answer me did you see the movie swamp thing did you think that was me that i wouldn't know anything i'd just be carrying a pretty girl and have you ever been far risk that was your word your word not mine yeah all right should we end on that one we did good yeah 58 what else what did you not get to magic oh here's some bloopers from tommy boy oh i like okay let's people keep sending me this i like this one because actually i think this was the take we used in the movie uh-huh but it's funny to hear chris laugh this is just one of them great tommy boy bloopers dang this is the guy trying to buy the company not to mention put you out in the street and all you can say is richard what's happening to us look at the coat coat, it doesn't rip. Kim, that's way too f***ing tight.
They put little lines on the back, they scored it. I'm bleeding.
This was so big. I'm sorry.
You're wrong. Dad was the best at telling people what they wanted to hear.
Firsting people what they needed to hear. He was good at a lot of that.
Sorry, the door's ajar. How can a door be ajar? Ma'am, I'm thinking about blowing up the box.
Building. The extras laugh.
The only thing I can figure out is whether to get Chicago style or thin crust. The salesman has left the building.
See you tomorrow. Oh! The crew put that out there.

What are you saying?

The bull scared him?

Yeah, the crew just put it up there for,

just to ruin a take, basically.

Damn, it looks like a blast.

And that was not even digital then.

You had to really be precious about, you know, the film.

Oh, yeah, the takes, yeah.

Run out and stuff. And you seemed i guess like 21 or something i know you weren't yeah man yeah it's funny because that first one where i go he's like a nice guy i don't know why maybe i just said it like that on that one and uh when he laughs at the end he goes what a dick yeah it's so funny but he has the best laugh also well that really captured his bursting laugh

you can't describe it to someone just i mean it's just like insane and if you make him laugh it's

so fun it's so fucking it's nice when you can make another comedian laugh oh yeah we laugh so hard

in that movie and sometimes people go because i did an interview the other day and they go so you and Farley had a fight over a sandwich on the movie. I go, don't even start.
Don't put it as negative. There's so many fun things.
Of course, when you're doing movies and a TV show together, at the same time, you argue about stuff. But that was more like it, those bloopers, because we were just loopy and laughing and the movie still came out funny but

those things are so such a crack up you know yeah i mean in wayne's world one um i guess the first time i said yeah she's a babe if she was a president she'd be babe for him lincoln i think that's the line i said but it was the middle of the night and mike got the giggles so he was laughing so hard

and then we just were able to keep it

in the movie So he was laughing so hard. And then we just were able to keep it in the movie.
Like he was. Oh, is that when you're laying on a, on the lane on the, the AMC pacer.
There's something I said. Oh no, I know.
I said to him, if you were, do you ever, when you receive Bugs Bunny dresses as a girl, do you, do you like that or something around Bugs Bunny dressing? But he lost it. Did you not, you not did you not say that before you guys are just making up shit and just trying to something triggered it and it was him basically breaking he's not in the movie anymore but we put it in as wayne laughing and it comes off great oh that's funny the magic of editing david that's the fun though yeah yeah uh okay well that was a good one to end on okay uh thanks dana it was nice meeting you i have a quick idea just to put this in the in our listeners we take over like quentin tarantino's indie film and we we have a we show um wayne's world and tommy boy back to back And we have a little chat about the movies.

Oh, we talk about it while we play it or something or what?

Or show them and then do a Q&A.

Maybe just do Tommy Boy.

Oh, out in the real world?

Yeah.

Oh, we go somewhere?

Well, yeah. We'll take this podcast on the road.

Basically, we'll show movies and we'll do Q&A.

We'll show a movie and then we'll do Q&A.

Thanks for the ideas.

All right. Tell us what you want Q&A.
Thanks for the ideas. All right.

Tell us what you want on the YouTube.

Thanks, guys.

This has been a presentation of Odyssey.

Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade.

Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman.