Tiffany Haddish

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So Tiffany Haddish is a fantastic guest to have on a podcast she's uh full of energy a lot of funny stories laughing all the time and one of the highlights i mean she she will in this podcast break it down moment by moment what happened when she was arrested for being asleep, I think in her Tesla or something so i'd only anecdotally heard that and the real story we get to hear you'll get to hear on this podcast about what happened and it's completely innocent it's not what you think it is so that's something to stay tuned for it's a big story that got out there and then you know she doesn't really talk about it but she did talk about it she was a lot of fun i've known her here and there throughout the years and uh we asked her about girls trip and how it sort of catapulted her to the next level of fame which is a weird thing for people and she will explain why it's weird a lot of people don't know they just say it's weird but getting famous quickly more rapidly is very hard yes and suddenly you're getting money and again you just learn which is you need to learn early on the difference between what you're told like the gross amount and the net amount it's not a complaint it's just a reality oh you kind of takes your breath away and then also where where she lives and where um just a lot of people are interested and maybe getting alone stuff like that she talks all about personal stuff she's just uh she's she she's very open about her life and it's very likable very full of very funny yeah we laughed a lot i will say we did laugh a lot she did crack me up and i'm glad she did it we just uh i haven't seen her much lately and it was just a great you know sometimes these are just good one hour hangouts with people and uh we hope you like hanging out the way we did yes i was so punchy toward the end that everything she said started to make me laugh.

She just struck me as a very funny person. And the first time I worked with her before she made it big, I thought, damn, she should be a star.
And then she opened for you somewhere. Yeah, okay.
So here she is, Tiffany Haddish. Can I tell a nice Tiffany Haddish story right now? Yeah, we're going.
We're going. It's only 20 seconds.
So we're doing The Secret Life of Pets, you know, whatever, promoting it. We're going to watch a preview or something.
So I'm there with family and my wife's nieces and um her one niece sees tiffany and flips it out like starstruck can't believe it that she's there and then my wife just sort of mentioned it tiffany and tiffany came over and gave audrey we have a picture of it this gigantic bear hug. And it really is an indelible memory.
And it was so cool to hear about that. That does not shock me.
It was nice. It was just when you hear stuff like that.
Yeah, it's very nice. Anyway, that's my Tiffany Haddish story.
Good story. Good story.
I'm so trying to hook these AirPods up to this damn computer. She's traumatized by this situation.
Oh, you have to do technical. I like when people like to hear this part because stars are just like us.
You're a star. I am? Yes.
Oh, yeah. No, I guess we all are.
People know who you are.

They even know who you are in Africa, bro.

Really?

Babe, you are huge in Cameroon.

Huge.

Is there a funny bone down there?

I'll go down there and play.

Not that I know of.

Oh, I don't know where to do stand-up down there, but I'll go.

I'll go.

I don't go anywhere unless I'm famous.

There's no way.

Why would I go? But the name of my special should be they're just like us they're just like us how about I'm just like you I know but that doesn't really hit the ear well it's a little self because in Us Magazine they always say Tiffany Haddish was buying grocery they're just like like us. I'm like, well, yeah.
That's what we all do. Do you remember the song, Too Legit to Quit? Yes, Too Legit.
Too Legit to Quit. Who did that? Hey, hey.
Too Legit. Mm-hmm.
Too Legit. So what can't you do? Now know you can sing that's hammer i know you can you didn't know i have songs that are out like i'm streaming on spotify and apple all right let's start with that we got our research they didn't mention it so what are you i mean i could tell just by you doing that you could sing well i'm glad you could tell do how do your songs come about do you sit with someone and write them do you write them yourself in your head how are you well i just recently released a song with diane morin her and i we sat and rewrote oh she did most of the writing i gave her the premise and what i want the songs to be about and why i want to make these types of songs and so we got one that just came out called woman up um which i really think kamala should have used in her campaign but whatever um and then the campaign's still early so she she listens to this podcast i'm sure she does kamala needs needs to use the song woman up it's a great song that's inspiring not just for women but for men as well you know you can't just be sitting in the bed and being all depressed and sad you have to get up and get things done woman i'm always telling dana to woman up well man man man up man up's been around quite a while Yeah, let's get woman up going.
about time man up woman up and what will be the trifecta and listen human Diane Warren is a huge huge one of the best songers of all time really so she's sitting in the piano you're sitting with her no it was just us in the studio just having

conversations just having conversations okay and then and then i came back like two days later and she had three songs for me one called woman up another one called you're so fucking beautiful and then another one called i want you but i want you gone I like that

can I ask you a question

did she have

a melody track that you sang to

or did she have a scratch track or she just says she just, you just started. How did you? Oh, well, when I came in the studio, she did have a scratch, like a scratch track, like a sample of the song.
She went to, she want to hear you sing it all first to say, what do you got? No, she didn't do that to me. She didn't? How does she know you're any good, though? Probably because she came to some of my comedy shows.
And much like you guys, I sing sometimes in my shows. Just little bits like, hey, audience, how you doing? I can sing.
I can't sing. I'll just randomly go like, this is the song that doesn't end.

Yes, it goes on and on, my friend.

I'll do that one or I'll hit them with Skinnamarinky dinky dink.

Skinnamarinky doo, I love you.

Oh, you can hold that note. Skinnamarinky doo, I love you.
Oh, you can hold that note. Skinnamarinky doo.
I love you. I love you in the morning and in the afternoon.
And I love you in the evening underneath the moon. So, Skinnamarinky, dinky, dink, Skinnamarinky Dinky dink

Skinnamarinky doo

I love you

See you next time

I love

You too

Boop

Boop

Boop

Boop

Boop

Oh

Wow

That's like my clothes are a little bit

Yeah

That's like 1930s kind of feel to it or 50s well it was from 1980 something 1970s from the elephant show is it a real show song yeah it's a real theme song to a tv show that i used to watch as a kid and my mom said that that was our family theme song and if somebody was to come pick us up from school, they have to sing that song.

Oh, that's a great idea.

Our family theme song was,

you're a loser.

My mom said,

if anyone picks you up,

just go,

just go with them.

No,

our other family theme song is,

you can't win now. You can't break even, and you can't get out of the game.
You guys know that one? No. Is it famous? You never saw The Wiz? Oh, The Wiz.
We just had Bowen Yang on, who's in the movie, isn't he? No. no no he's in the new one with ariana grande sorry wicked yeah i'm talking about the whiz the black oh with michael jackson yes yes that's the song that he sang yes who else was in that diana ross and who else okay Nipsey Russell Nipsey Russell Yeah Or Nipsey Russell

He was great. No, Nipsey Russell, not Hussle.
That's a friend of mine. Great stand-up.
Yeah, Nipsey Russell. Back in the day.
I used to laugh at Nipsey Russell on Match Game or something. He'd sing poems.
He'd say poems for answers. Yes.
Yeah. Roses are red.
Yeah, he played the Tin Man in that. And then.
He did? Jones was in it and Richard Pryor was in the Wiz. Oh, that's right.
Richard Pryor was the Wizard. You know, Dick Pryor, the thing about Dick Pryor.
Oh, he did a movie with him. I did do a movie.
He's buddies with him. I did a movie with Dick.
And the thing about Dickie Pryor, it's called moving mid-late 80s. And he's moving his family across.
And I'm going to drive his car. And I'm a schizophrenic.
So I got to hang out with him. And the director said, Richard, he's not into it today you know can you get him going I've only been at SNL one year I'm like I gotta get Richard going so I was trying to get best comedian of all time you'll wake him up you know and then he's just but he was so sweet Tiffany I auditioned for moving and didn't get it and guess and I was living in a house where Dana was living in the same house too.
I was renting a room. And I was like, hey, good for you.
I didn't know you auditioned for that part. Yeah, Dana.
I was trying to get your scraps. Okay.
So, Tiffany, how are you finding stand-up? Now, I just saw that you are on tour.up always evolves it always changes as the person changes so what is it like now when you come out um and they go crazy and then what what's your what's your what are you feeling when you're out there now i always feel like when they go crazy when i come come on stage, it's wild because I still remember

eight years ago when it would just be like

five people that go crazy

because that's the kind of following I had.

But the room would still be full,

but it would be five people that know me.

Now, everybody kind of knows who Tiffany Haddish is

and they're like going bananas.

I want to cry.

I always feel the urge to cry and then I say something kind of knows who Tiffany Hannity is and they're like going bananas I want to cry I always feel the urge to cry and then I say something kind of like wild to them so that I don't cry and then it's really nice I'll keep clapping and I'm like stop it I'm gonna get quiet guys because because I believe crying is a removal of old beliefs and a replacement of new ones. And I always feel like the audience is going to hate my guts before I get on stage.
And once my first foot touches the stage, then it's like that doesn't matter anymore. Do you feel any pressure, though? Because just I'll give you an example.
If I'm trying to go to just a club to drop in and i just barely have notes i'm working out and ladies and gentlemen he better get fast in your comedy safety belts here she comes you know it's like there's tiffany had it you know it's just like i feel i feels like a lot of pressure the bigger the room you know till you get the first laugh. It the it's the small rooms that feel like a lot of pressure it's the rooms that you pop in and there's like six people there that feels like a lot of pressure feels like direct judgment because you can literally have a conversation with each one of those people in the room well it's very didn't those there's something to those little small rooms and a lot of comics are on the road doing theaters, but there's definitely something different about when you see their eyes and they're right up close and it's just that casual.
You can talk to them like you're just talking at dinner and you're all just kind of a little group and you're just so, you can be so casual. And the big ones you have to sort of put on a show.
You have to play to this side and make sure they all hear you and anunzi make sure that it's a little tougher it's great movements have to be bigger like yeah you know like i do like i make a lot of facial expressions when i talk i think that's where a lot of my comedy lies like i might say one word but the the face that i make that goes with it is like that sells it right you're in one of those big old theaters and if they got like a whack-ass camera or if there's no uh no video no video footage at all then you gotta make a bigger i'm like oh i'm making wrinkles trying to perform yeah this mistake I made the last special I did,

I worked it out in clubs and then I was in a big theater

and there were no screens

or anything

and it was very different.

The bits I was working out

in clubs were very small,

little stories and stuff.

But it's fun to strut on a stage.

I mean, Chris Rock

is obviously the best at it

as far as the physical movement

back and forth. But yeah, it's a completely different sport than a little club very very different sport when you were doing like uh stand-up stand-up stand-up and then you get something like girls trip which is a big thing in your career what what is the change walk us through the change like that comes out obviously it's a big.
You're a hit, in a hit. What kind of are the things that you notice? I immediately noticed that people that told me that I wasn't going to be anything, that, you know, I should give up.
You should just maybe get into modeling or get pregnant by a rich man and just give up on this. We're instantly like, I believed in you the whole time.
I knew you could could do it and i'm just looking at them like they do they think i'm gonna have that niche i forgot what you said to me uh and you get offers and you get more attention more offers more attention more free stuff phone rings more free stuff my bills are bigger I noticed my bigger uh you know things that were like so cheap like a plumber you know the plumber comes to my house I have a leak it costs 150 bucks to fix now the plumber comes to my house it's like oh just need to change the washer on the dang sink faucet and that's five hundred dollars what yeah we need to change your washer and dryer because of your person price kind of yeah it is kind of that and then i'm like okay so like i only keep pictures of myself in like this room right everything else is like in a box in a closet like away because if i have someone coming over to do some work i don't even be here i have my assistant in here make make it like my it's my assistant's house and it's so that i could get the regular price the real price smart yeah because i still live in south central i i still live in a little you know uh 2 000 square foot house Like I'm not doing it super big or anything.

Oh, that's cool. I live modestly.
I spend most of my clothes. When stuff like that happens.
Oh yeah. I'm sorry, Dana.
I was saying when stuff like that happens and you do well, I think people think they hand you a million dollars the next day. You still have to, you do get offers, but then you have to go do them.
Then you have to get paid. Then you get whomped with taxes.
Then you get agent manager. People forget like, it's really hard to build a ton of money.
It takes a while. The gross in the net.
And just by the way, which you can talk to is your monologue was hilarious. I looked at today when you hosted SNL, which you got the Emmy for, was all around this idea that everyone assumed soon as Girls Trip hit, you got 20 20 million in the bank you know yeah i was paid the least amount out of the girls right because that's the most unknown and um i didn't start seeing no real money till maybe a year or two after it came out maybe a year and a half after it came out because i started making real money and like i did the the night school movie and they're like, they're going to pay you a million dollars.
I'm like, yeah, awesome. This is great.
And I'm thinking, yeah, a million dollars. But like you said, taxes hit and I don't got no kids.
Right. Then representative fees that hit.
Then that's like bananas. Then, you know, appearance speed clothing so so i get do these appearances of these interviews and they don't pay you to do the interviews or anything but you have to buy clothes you got to pay for makeup and all that and by the time i'm for everything you have a stylist all that uh you know i got like maybe 250 000 left and then i have black tax.
And I don't know if you guys know what that is. I don't.
Nope. I want to hear, though.
Some special black tax. You know, they be saying, oh, black women are so mad.
We not mad. Or they be like, they impatient.
We not impatient. We the most patient.
It takes hours. This hairdo took, you know, hours.
Looks great. Hours.
I was very patient. Black tax, though, is when family members reach out to you for money and they expect you to give it to them because we come from the same uterus or, you know, we have the same grandma or we was in the same foster home.
So you should give me this money. We're in the same town.
We're in the same in the same town doesn't take much when i was homeless didn't have nowhere to sleep no nothing you wasn't checking for me yeah that's what i ended up like on the carmichael show did they start like checking for me like how you doing what's going on kid i'll hold 500 i need a whole 500 and then you like a little guilty you're like yeah here it goes five i'm gonna pay you don't want to big time i'm i get my taxes i'll pay back they never pay you back and uh also they're getting it they're getting it clean like if you gave someone five grand that you probably have to make 20 to clear five and they don't sit so you're basically giving them 20 and then they they get a tax-free five and uh more than that, I've had, I've been hit up obviously from all sides and it, they don't, they don't, no one thinks of that. How do you handle it? How do you, I don't, I didn't handle it.
Well, I have a lot of wisdom now. I think what you're talking about is really good.
The, the, the, the thing that I learned, if you systemically give someone a check and they're healthy and young and can work and you're systemically trying to help them make it or whatever, you will always write them a check the rest of your life. I think that in show business, you want to be a little greedy with your money because you want to get to a point where, say, 10 years from now, you can choose the way you want to work.
And to get net dollars saved, I know where this is, we know these are first world problems, anyone listening, but it's personal what we do. And so you don't want to have to do a diaper commercial at 60 if you can help it.
So it takes a long time to get a big pile of money where you get to be free from in-show business. All right.
There's my two cents. So just be careful.
I do the same thing. I think there's part of you that doesn't want people to be mad at you.
There's part of you that you don't want them to think you're big-tim timing them. And it's not that much in quotes.
And if you could just, but it, but you feel like you start buying friendships and stuff. It's all bad.
You know, I remember one time we were out with, uh, I had a famous friend and he was going to dinner. We got an argument.
And of course I said the meanest thing. It was his birthday.
He was yelling at me and I go, well, I wanted to be the actual friend at at your party but have a good time at dinner with your agent publicist manager lawyer and your your whole team you know what i mean and it makes you think and go they all had to go you know because it's his party and they got to show up once in a while and i was just voluntarily going until we got an argument about it but that was mean thing to say but that same thing reversed with me like you know

you have your friends and you don't know who's so you feel dumb family members my dad you know it's

one of those where i don't know your family stitch but my dad was deadbeat dad and then he of course

he come buzzing around and of course i bought him a condo like it is just something you just go

i want you around i'm gonna give you money to be around basically so weird it's really weird

Thank you. And then of course I bought him a condo.
Like it is just something you just go, I want you around. I'm going to give you money to be around basically.
So weird. It's really weird.
I spent a lot of money making sure my mom is okay. I got her out.
Like that was one of my main. That's okay.
I took care of my parents. That's what I do.
That's different. I wanted to make sure she got out of that mental institution.
I get her the best doctors, the best like food, everything. Right.
And she's doing great. And that's when like, oh yeah, I'm glad I have this money.
And I've spent crazy amount, like crazy amount of money, like nurses and all that. And when my grandmother, you know, she did so much for me growing up that I'm like, I got to do everything for her.
So I'm like, $2 million trying to keep her alive. And I probably was making it worse for her.
Like, I probably should just let her go the way she you know yeah i know i've been there and done that the numbers sound very familiar um yeah i i you know i don't know where you're at of any sort of um pinching yourself or any i i wouldn't use the word guilt or because you there's hard knocks in your your time on, you know? And so you're still in touch with that. I can tell completely.
So just as your friend on the outside, just make sure you take care of yourself. Yeah.
So now like when people ask me for money, I tell them, look, I really value our friendship. I really value our relationship.
And I can give you this money. Now you're saying you're going to pay me back.
You probably want them. I guess I am.
Yes, I am. Okay.
I'm going to give you this money. Okay.
And if you don't pay me back by my birthday, then I've decided that we are no longer friends. We're no longer in a relationship.
Big responsibility. Yeah.
do they want to take that on and if you want

to take this money you know you value this money more than you value our friendship i completely understand nine times out of ten they always say no thank you i'll i'll i'll get back to you if i really really need it because they know they're gonna pay me back yeah he says my friend than it is to for me to go. I paid you.
He told me if they ask for 10, give them five. They always pad in a skateboard and something else if they want.
There's one relative that asked me, they asked me for $25,000. I was like, what? You never even made that in a freaking, like, you want $25,000? They're like, yeah, I need $25,000.
I'm like, okay, wait, I just spent all this money to make sure our grandma are good. What do like you want $25,000 like yeah I need $25,000

I'm like okay wait I just spent all this money make sure our grandma get it what do you need $25,000 like I want to start a taco truck I get it I'm like but you can't even cook yeah I'm gonna just get some Mexicans off about a Home Depot they can cook and you know we're gonna have a taco truck and I'll get you your money back within two months I'm like bullshit

long-standing restaurants sometimes that are established for years, almost 17 years, are making $2,500 a month clearing. Yeah, it's so hard.
It's so hard. Please miss me with this.
Please. Please.
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Well, that's good. You're doing good.
And you're still out on the road. still is comic is stand-up still your favorite thing or you still like my always gonna be my favorite thing it will always be i i can't go more than three weeks without doing stand-up and i start having like mental issues yeah i have to get on stage it's fun to get up and do a set, especially if you live in LA,

you can.

That's what scares me.

People go,

why don't you move here?

The taxes are so bad.

I go,

I like LA and I like that.

I have a few friends here and I like hanging out in the hall at the comedy

stores.

And I like to seeing a few comics and,

and then you can pop on and buff out stuff.

And you feel,

cause if you have a gig coming up where people are paying money,

you want to be good.

And you're like,

God,

I'm starting to get scared to go on again because i just need to go on and feel it again just to feel just to get the organization because i owe these people and it's fun anyway think of a new joke is fun everything's fun whenever i'm stressed out i head right to the comedy club even if i'm in another place i'm like where do they do comedy here when i was in Africa, I was just in Africa and I'm like, oh, it's too much time is going by. We cannot do some comedy out here.
Is there comedy here in Africa? They're like, there's a restaurant that you could go to that might have it go to this restaurant and they don't even have like a real stage. It's like four benches pushed together in a boombox with a microphone and i'm like give it how fun how fun it's like karaoke basically how long were you in africa was this a month long month yeah i was there for a month and i went to three different countries and i want to go to all countries that had their independence you know um what are they dana go ahead um chad tanzania no um morocco is that one of them i didn't go there but i believe they have their independence i'm trying to just name countries because i saw this on tiktok and people couldn any.
I'm just into world-class distance runners. It would be Kenya, Ethiopia, Tanzania.
Wrong, wrong, wrong. Go ahead.
Wrong, wrong, wrong. Look at Tiffany just staring.
Nope, nope, nope. I have a friend from, I know from Cameroon.
They definitely don't have their independence in Cameroon.

It is crazy in Cameroon right now.

I hear about Cameroon in the Olympics. That's about

it.

South Africa has their independence.

Okay. That's kind of a trick question.

I assume so. They were

owned by the Dutch.

Oh, Zimbabwe you said?

Okay.

Zimbabwe has their independence.

And you're right about Tanzanian.

Zimbabwe.

Dana knew something about the Dutch.

Yes.

The Dutch had it.

My father-in-law was Dutch and he felt bad about some of dutch colonialism so i remember him talking about it anyway they told me they told me like it's funny because i went to israel this year this year has been a year for travel for me and and i wanted to travel because i want to see more of the world and i want to have like better understanding of the the articles I read and the things that I see and also like I've read the Bible I've read the Quran I've read the Torah I've read all these books in like where's the religious capital of the world Israel uh this crazy stuff is going on right now in Israel uh yeah should I go shouldn't I go but I've been trying to go for years, but I've been busy trying to collect my acorns. Yeah.
I've been collecting acorns,

collecting my money, stacking my money. So I buy my ticket, I go.
And although there was,

there's turmoil going on over there. At the same time, I think it was a perfect time to go because

there was no lines. I got, people were coming up to me, happy to share information about the history of Israel.
I learned so much. And then to see the things that I read about in these Bibles and the Torah and the Quran, to see things in real life gave me a whole nother perspective and really has elevated my comedy and my point of view on who I am as a person,

who God is and all of that.

Like,

yeah,

it was really,

I think who believes in God should at least go to Israel one time.

It's crazy.

That's so interesting.

You did that.

I think it's great.

You're doing it.

I mean,

you've established your career and then why not do a few things like that?

You have an opportunity.

Not many people have.

And you take it.

Was it scary?

I mean, flying into Israel.

Because I know people go on USO tours and they go, they turn the lights off, go on at night or they corkscrew down under enemy fire.

It wasn't like that.

Yeah. I've done USO tours like in full war there's a full war going on and i've done stories and no like that was more scary because you could hear stuff from the airport and you could hear like that was more scary yeah being on a big old commercial airline flying in was not scared.
Going through the airport, the airport was beautiful. I was like, okay.
It's kind of pampered. Unless you know what's going on.
If you were oblivious, you'd just think, I'm like, I'm on a great plane. I'm on a great hotel.
It's beautiful. You would think like, oh, wow, there's no lines here.
It's nice, really. There's traffic, but it's not LA traffic.
It felt like I in california the weather felt like california weather oh really i found hot springs and like just all this beautiful stuff like oh my god i went to masawa i mean not masawa masawa's in eritrea which is also very freaking beautiful and they have their independence but i went to masada uh and was like is this where Jamie Masada got his name from the laugh factory maybe maybe who I consider like a dad and I had to hit him up and he's like oh yes I grew up around that area and they say he's telling me all these stories and I'm just like well I didn't even know you were from this part of the middle East. I thought you were from another part, but okay.
Like crazy. Did you go, did you travel with someone? I'm just curious.
I went by myself. What? That's grown up.
That's very grown up. I went all by myself.
And when I got there, I've met up with a few people that I knew. So like, Michael Rappaport was so that was that was interesting it's funny yeah i'm sure my friend matthew siegel was there and um one of the guys from from cheaters was there and uh we did some tours together stuff i did by myself i wanted to find black people that was my mission like where are all the black people i know it's got to be black Where were they? In Israel.
It's hot. It's got to be some black people.
That was my mission. Where are all the black people? I know it's got to be black.

Where were they? In Israel.

It's got to be some black people here. If black people believe in Jesus, it's got to be some black people.
I found a bunch of the Ethiopian and Eritrean Jews. I got with them.
And then I found the largest diaspora, the largest immigration of black Americans anywhere in the world is in Israel in, um, Demona. And, and I kept telling everybody, I want to go to Demona.
I want to go to, they're like, no, you shouldn't go to Demona. Why would you want to go to Demona? That's where they keep the, uh, secret weapons.
The nuclear weapons are hidden in Demona. And I'm like, I want to go there.
I want to go to Demona, take me to Demona. to take me demona take me to the sounds interesting i got them to take me to demona and it felt like i was in a hood but not in the hood because like these they look like black americans when they speak english sound like black americans but then they speak fluent hebrew and they're like all vegetarians all of a sudden like their their um kipputz was like so beautiful and so dope and just I was just

like Hebrew and they're like all vegetarians. All of a sudden like their, their, um, was like so beautiful and so dope.
And just, I was just like, it made me so proud to be a human. It just made me proud to be a black American Jew.
It just made me so proud and happy. Did you, were you well known? Oh yeah.
I'm very famous. Oh, all around the world, all around the world.
Internationally known. You know, it's funny because I had prayed to God to, you know, give me a way to show these studios that I am internationally known.
And I could be in a film that's for international purposes. Right.
And because I was told I wasn't internationally known enough. And then I took a nap in Beverly Hills.
You took a nap in Beverly Hills? What? I took a nap in a car in Beverly Hills. The police came.
Oh, that's right. Oh yeah.
You took a nap in Beverly Hills. That's right.
That sounds like a chapter of a book. That probably got worldwide pickup.
Baby, I was so shocked. I was so shocked when i came home just a few hours later how i was on ktla nbc cbs fox pbs cnn i was on espn bb i was like espn i'm not even an athlete the you know bbc world news i'm like yeah like this is kind of awesome you know like uh i prayed for the studios i didn't know it was gonna be like this though it was on african world news and when when i went to those places when i went to israel when i went to africa everybody brought it up oh so do you want alcohol no are you good Do you want a car to sleep in? Let's get her alcohol I seen the

She fall asleep in the car

Oh, that's what you like. Yes.
She likes it. We know you love vodka.
You love vodka. We love it so much.
That's all we've read. Then you drive and fall asleep in car.
We love everything about you, Miss Stephanie Hardish. No, I don't know what accent that is, but.
Sounds good. What was that story? Do you want to tell it? All I know is the broad strokes.
You fell asleep in a car and you're fine. Yeah.
So basically I was serving food to the homeless all day at the Laugh Factory every year during Thanksgiving. They do that.
Okay. Fantastic.
We served almost 3,000 people food and jokes, performed on almost every show. and I left there and that morning i woke up at 6 a.m and put a pot of collard greens on like cook this food for my family and so i left from the live factory went home got the pot of collard greens got the turkey two turkeys went to my family's house served.
And then I got a call from a friend

that lives in Beverly Hills in Bel-Air.

Oh, the chef, they had to fire the chef

and the food is, they don't have any food.

Do I have any leftovers?

And I was like, let me see, let me check with my family.

Everybody had made their Tupperware.

And I was like, yeah, I got leftovers.

They said, can you bring it up?

I can't be there until like 10.

They're like, fine.

I brought leftovers.

They ate it all day. They were like, this is the best reason best turkey best best best best and then um i had i did have a drink or two i had probably two drinks i did i finished one i didn't finish the second one i fell asleep on the couch because i was exhausted right you know like that is being of service 19 years too much oh yeah i woke up uh somebody was like this lady was like you could sleep here sleep here oh she's doing something sexy and i was like i'm leaving you're not gonna have me in the news 10 years from now talking about something i feel by a lady not nope i'm leaving so i took some other people felt uncomfortable too they wanted to leave too so drop them off at home oh a drop off okay more work people off this is exactly what i thought would happen before this incident go ahead then my tesla in my tesla put it on pilot because i knew I was tired and um you know the tesla the way it's set up your eyes is closed if your hands are off the steering wheel too long it will over in such a way to get you help because it thinks that you have you know something's wrong incident yeah so that pulls over so at part perpendicular to the sidewalk as opposed to parallel and have my ass out in the street with metal light or anything like that.
And I had been there for quite some time because the car had turned off. The police thought I was dead in the car because I was like this.
They said I was slumped over the steering wheel. To me, that means you like like you leaned over.
Yeah. I was just sitting in my head was down.
And they thought I was dead because I didn't respond to them knocking on the window or whatever.

And so the ambulance was there.

And I heard them talking.

I heard talking.

Oh, how scary.

And the talking, I opened my eyes and looked over and they were like, oh, shit, she's alive.

She's alive.

How scary people are just there.

You don't even know where you are.

And I was like, oh, damn.

And then I thought that was another prayer being answered because I had prayed to God to send me a handsome man with his own career that, you know, I didn't have to be like that. He could tell me interesting stories.
So I'm thinking, oh, send me my my prayers. And they started asking me questions about drinking.
And I was just like, you know what? Like, just take me to the police station. Let's just go to the police station because that's what I've learned.

Just blowing that breathalyzer.

Don't do BJs in the street.

I'm sorry.

So your prayers were answered

because the arresting officer was very handsome.

Is that what you meant?

I'm sorry, I missed that.

Oh, yeah.

So you wanted to hang out.

So was the EMTs that took my vitals

and said my blood pressure was normal.

I'll see working on that. That's great.
I got a physical. I got an $1,800 physical and thousands of dollars and some community service on letting these studios know that I'm internationally known.
Yeah, nice. Was this ever really explained in the media what you just told us? No, that I blew a .03, no.
Yeah, and that you were just purely exhausted. You were in an AI car that assisted you.
That saved my life. That potentially saved my life.
Yeah. And I'm so grateful.
so grateful like you know i know a lot of people don't like tesla or whatever but i appreciate and i'm grateful that that car exists what it's trying to do yeah it's a good so you you blew a 0.03 that's not illegal that's like one drink uh that's that's totally 0.08. What is it? 0.08.

It used to be one.

0.08 is not, you're not slurring or falling down.

I wasn't slurring then either.

No, no.

And yet it went global. What was the headline that did it, were you like shocked?

What did it say?

Tiffany arrested for another DUI.

And the first DUI, which I want a hearing for, I want a trial.

I want a trial.

Because I was walking into my house.

Oh.

But weed is illegal.

Weed is?

Is it weed legal?

Not in Georgia.

Just wait long enough until weed's illegal everywhere and then go to trial.

Weed is really doesn't hit the ear as something scary anymore. It's like people just go, huh? We do have bigger fish to fry these days.
No, even Trump wants it to be legal for personal use in Florida. I think tobacco should be illegal.
That kills more people. That's the one that, yeah.
I mean, if we're really getting into it, it's true.

As far as mind-altering substances, there's nothing even close to cannabis.

It's the most benign by a million fold.

No one's ever overdosed on cannabis.

And Snoop's president, it'll change.

Yeah.

Snoop.

Drop it like it's hot.

Drop it like it's hot.

That's my family right there. I love Snoop.
I got three songs with him. Really? No, maybe it's two.
Maybe it's two. Yeah, it's two.
Well, it didn't surprise me. When they put him in the Olympics, when I heard they're going to put Snoop there, I go, he's going to own the Olympics.
Because there's something about him that everyone loves him. I don't know what it just is.
He is a fun guy. He's just likable.
I don't know. You just want to hang out with him, put it that way.
Someone I know just got engaged in it. Oh, boy.
It's a big one. It's a big one.
It's the next step in a relationship, and that's why they have a thing called an engagement ring. What was the Beyonce song? You should have put a ring on it.
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That's LinkedIn.com slash candidates to post your job for free terms and conditions do apply uh what about before we gotta let you go in a second but this last og i'm here for it we can hang out guys i have nothing else to do we have a question for you i just want to hear about tracy morgan because he's so funny and that. The OG.
What was that? Oh, TBS, right? The last OG on TBS, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. And he had to be kind of fun to work with, right? Didn't you work with him? We were not the same over 11 years.
I just know him a little bit. I hosted him when he was there.
And he's a character. Yeah.
Mr. D.
He called me Mr. D.
It's not getting easy, Mr. D.
Not getting easy. I did Oprah with him, too.
Yeah. And did you guys have fun? Yeah.
Yeah, it was Chevy Chase, me, Tracy, Tina Fey. This is before the accident.
Yes, but he had a kidney transplant or something, and they put it in the front, and he's patented. It's just an open book.
Did he tell you that it was his girlfriend's kidney? I think so. Yeah, yeah.
And he goes, it's right here. I think that's a jinx because that happened to George Lopez, right?

George took his wife's kidney and then they got divorced.

You know, it's bad when you say, see you later, sucker.

I know.

I mean, it's a tough one because talk about a non-guilt-free divorce.

I mean, jeez. You just go to the doctor.
Did it take? Yes, it's good. I'm fine.
I got to make a call. Babe, we've been having problems.
So are you actively? I learned a lot about myself working on that show because I was mostly the straight man. So being the straight man.
You the straight man. It's interesting.
interesting it's a straight man and it was not the easiest uh because i want to crack jokes i want to it's hard i did it in the wrong missy it's a little difficult be boring to me and just do what they write just do what they write and then after like three or four episodes i was like oh, okay, I got of this i can be i can do straight man stuff yeah straight man is valuable it's necessary yeah but i don't know why well anyway they cast you and whatever it seems like that they're wasting a whole quadrant of ability you know yeah you got a lot of a lot of it's very rare a lot of people can act you know Yeah, but you know how this world is Like, you know yeah you got a lot of a lot of it's very rare a lot of people can act you know yeah but you know how this world is like you know it's they just want you it's yeah well also just like you know there's it's not my show it was for him to shine is for him to be funny right you know i am just a a little squiggly line in the drawing.

Did they ever say these words, the name of the show is the Tracy Morgan show?

No.

It's not the Tiffany Haddish show.

No.

I've had versions of that along my career.

They never had it.

He might have said it, but they didn't.

Remember, you are my show, okay?

All right?

My show.

Tracy Morgan's show.

We're going to get Emmys.

All right?

Just while we're doing this for the Emmys.

Well, I mean-

And then behave yourself or I'll get you pregnant, okay?

I could get you pregnant.

That's a good threat. Behave yourself or I'll get you pregnant.
That's a comedy album or something. No, he didn't say it like that, but he did used to joke about getting me pregnant.
And I used to laugh and be like, your son is more my speed. Oh, his son was like 30, 32.
Oh, hot. He's all right.
He's all right. Don't give away your cards but you know i think tbs in their head is like we have tracy if we could get tracy and tiffany it's just more potent it's a great poster it's great and it's not a bad gig and blah blah so yeah i've done a million things like that things like that, where you're just, sometimes you're the one they're writing for.

Sometimes you're not,

but just one more thing along the way.

I am fine with being the not funny person in something.

I mean,

according to the internet or to some,

some people's opinion,

you know,

she's just a pretty girl.

That's loud.

Oh,

I love it.

That's fine. And I just don't know how many female comics have done what I've done.
You've done a lot. Who, uh, just that you're batting her eyes.
When you're a little girl, who are you watching and seeing that inspires you? I'm watching Whoopi Goldberg, who like I used to think was my actual birth mother and she just because she has to look for the purpose of making people laugh and she's going to come back and get me uh lucille ball was my favorite to watch lucille ball carol burnett uh fia vidale uh Oh, Marshall warfield oh i worked with her a lot worked uh did a comedy competition with her in san francisco which she won by the way of course she did she's hilarious yeah she is a force of nature and brilliantly funny yeah very funny and um i mean and then there's you know there's the george carlens there's a lot of men that i watched but um yeah for women that that that was like my thing christina applegate was so funny to me like oh wow that's true with children i had to make sure i watched i had to make sure i watched married with children that's great she'd love to hear that because. Because I was like, I have to learn how to be that girl because I am that girl.
Like, I'm not the smartest girl. So, I got to learn how to be that and still get what I want.
Yeah. Also, Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter Was Dead.
It was a great, funny, weird movie. When she was on, we talked about that, right, Dana? Yeah.
And someone said the other day they watched it with their kids and they're like oh we won't be watching this with the kids because you forget some of those old movies like that are so raunchy because there was no pc police and it just would kill and then you go later oh take that out take that out yeah that's not politically correct anymore no on reruns i like yeah doesn't live forever like the three stooges was so funny to me i used to definitely beat up my sister not on purpose we were playing stooges like yeah yeah yeah like if you watch that like they would if you put that on now people be like oh no that's you know that's teaching the kids all to hurt each other that's violence and you know now i'm like no it's it's white on white crime i'm learning the big thing is you say our kids so much better now they've had 30 years to change everything is it way better now i don't think so it's all just different they're even more violent they're doing like it's the we didn't have call of duty. How about that? More violence.
We didn't practice gunning people down. We didn't have school shootings when I was a kid.
Right. In the 1900s, there weren't school shootings.
There might've been a shooting down the street from the school. There was fights.
Yeah. Yeah.
I think it's really hard to be a young person. When you talk bad about somebody, you had to watch mouth because when they say uh uh don't let your mouth write a check that your ass can't cash that's right i would tell people talking crazy to you now somebody talk crazy to you you beat you hit them first or they hit you and you beat their ass down to the ground now you do and you want Yeah.
Yep. Oh, anyone's ready to sue anyone for anything.
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. ass down to the ground now you sue and you want yeah yep oh anyone's ready to sue anyone for anything yeah yeah this lady wanted to sue me said i was stealing her life well that's a tough one that's a new one your honor that's a new one the theft of my client's life by one tiffany haddish you stole my life she stole everything everything.
Everything that Tiffany Haddish has been through, she stole that from me. She's making it.
I'm like, well, here's my social worker, if you want to talk to her, and all my foster care files. Here's my files.
If you want to catch those rapes that I caught, you can catch those. You can have them.
Also, you can have all these mitches. You can have all these mitches.
You can have all these mitches. You can have all these mitches.
Every time a man ever hit me in the face, can have that you can have everything you can have all the bad and take it off the reason we're laughing is the exact same yeah tiffany is pulling things up and doing an act out we're not laughing at the idea of it but i just feel when i oh yeah i forgot this is just audio my bad i'm sure just oh no it's fine but you're you seem um well this was i found this interesting you do a special it's called she's she ready then you produce one with other comedians called they ready i mean who does that okay wait first the first special was she ready from the to hollywood i know that's but then when i saw it on the thing they they they truncated it and i wrote it down that way but i know it it was from the hood to hollywood was the full the full thing yes the next one was they read yes yes yes and what was the long version the longer version no there was no longer version okay

they read improperly get it at its time to get it right so was that tiffany haddish presents in a way like creating a platform yeah for other people showtime i'm just saying i'm just saying that's you know it was netflix it wasn't showtime it was net yes and i did that and i did that because I wanted, like, I had a little juice, a little power. And, you know, I just wanted for the people that looked out for me over the years.
I wanted them to have the opportunities I wish somebody would have gave any of us. Just give me five on TV.
Totally. So what's the point of building up all this notoriety and celebrity and prestige if you can't open a door to for help yeah pay it forward pay it forward some of those people i slept on the couch you know when i didn't have no money to pay like my rent or whatever they they helped me get gigs like i'll never forget um so you guys know elon gold yeah yeah very very well.
Yes. And Elon told me in the beginning, in the earlier stages of my career, he said, Tiffany, the only way that you will make a living in this business is by having good relationships with other comedians.
Comedians will always keep you working. If you keep good relationships, you can call any of those guys and go, hey, man, I need to make some money.
I'm having issues. Do you know of any shows going on? Like, can you link me up? And they will get you work.
You will always work in those comedians that aren't good, but they're good writers. They'll end up becoming writers or show runners.
You know, and if you have a good relationship, they'll be like, yo, we need to get you in there. And they'll get you in there.
Yeah. I like your attitude just about the whole thing.
It seems like you're really connected to your, your struggle and your, your journey. So you're still feel very authentic.
Sorry to use the word, like just in the moment. Uh, in other words, people might watch out for like he or she, they're going to get a big head or they're going to be different.
You know, it's going to gonna go to their head i don't think it ever went to i mean comedy is so freaking hard at times in show business in general beats the shit out of you uh even at any level pretty much i don't know who's had the free ride there you know do you read reviews of your of your movies and your performances and do they affect you or you don't read them or or if if they're great, read reviews. Cause I don't think anybody even does reviews anymore.
Do they? I don't know. It must be social media basically.
Yes. I'll read social media comments and I have, I gave, sometimes I get really upset with people.
Cause I'm just like, really? Like, why are you even following me? If you feel this way about me, are you even here? I've DMed people back and said, you follow me. You look like an idiot.
Yeah, yeah. You have all these complaints and you still follow me.
Yeah, weird. You're weird.
Like, there was at one point in time I got really mad and somebody that was obese had said something about me. And then they said that it looked like I they said oh the way that i was acting is like i got that uh i got i must got some of that uh powdered sugar or powder you know that cocaine powder on my pepsi and so then i said well you need to put down the powder donuts you fat bitch like i just went the fuck in uh i probably shouldn't have done that but you know i'm from these streets i was ready to fight her she cut i read that at like two in the morning and so i was like in my mind it is 95 again and you're about to get roasted you want to roast me i'm about to roast your badass and i just kind of went in and i knew she was fat because i had did my research on her for about 45 and.
And I knew she was on her weight loss journey. And I figured, fuck your journey, bitch.
Anything that ends with bitch is funny. Did you get in trouble? Journey, bitch, fat bitch with bitch.
Well, it's like someone saying it to your face. That's why it takes so personal.
I get mad when they say it's like they read it to you and ran. And you're like, no, no, I'm going to come catch you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Like you think I'm not going to be on your shit. You want to be on my page.
No freebies. I used to be on somebody else's page.
On somebody else's thing talking crazy. But you in my page.
Yeah. Crazy.
So then I had to sign it to. Did I get in trouble? No, because I went into my fake page.
I went in that ass. And then I was like, if you keep fucking with Tiffany Haddish, somebody going to show up on me.
Oh, good job. Have you ever said, what's up, fuckface? No, I don't say fuckface.
I'm like, what's up, bitch? You know, my last time I fought back, it wasn't quite as harsh. This guy said, I have a picture of me on stage, and I have a coat on.
And they go, why do you wear stand-up wearing a coat? And I go, really? Do you think anyone asked this question to Fonzie? I cut deep. I wish the viewers, the listeners could see Dana turn super red when I said wear out there'm embarrassed.
He likes it. There was a lot of oomph to it.
But the way he's giggling is like, you felt like I was saying that to you. Yes.
Well, you hit it nice and crisp and hard. You really nailed it.
It's a good, sharp. Well, it's my way.
Also, sometimes I call people boogerwolves

I'll be like you an ugly ass boogerwolf ass

bitch you know boogerwolf is

my other favorite go to

haven't heard that

is that a phrase that people

use boogerwolf

it used to be really popular in the 80s

it did

see you guys

aren't black so you don't know this but

in the community

in the black community back in the 80 see you guys aren't black so you don't know this but well in the community in the black community back in the 80s 90s was the thing to call somebody and it's like you know they're they're so they're so ugly their attitude their everything is so ugly that there's like you know they're they're like a wolf. It's a hideous thing.
I go back to...

Coming out?

You're a Fred Wolf.

I went back to Sammy Davis Jr.

I think he would say, what's up, Jive Turkey?

Jive Turkey was real cutting.

Who said Jive Turkey first?

I think JJ Walker.

Is Jive Turkey still around?

Good times.

No, but Wild Turkey is.

But let's bring back Jive Turkey. Now, Jive Turkey turkey was only for like that's only like when you want to like make reference to an old uncle or something you know yeah real jive i've said jive turkey not even joking three times in the last two weeks it's so funny to me it's such a funny phrase yeah what is that a turkey that dances i don't know I tried to invent a catchphrase once go ahead non sequitur one fourth grade everything was like bitchin bitchin was up and all that so i started saying to all the kids out of sight man that's out of sight and it took me like a month and everyone was saying that's out of sight sorry you didn't start out of sight i started out sight.
1965. Tiffany, before I let you go, I want to say.
I started she ready. She ready.
Oh, she ready. Yeah, she ready.
You started blank, blank, blank, bitch, whatever it is. And with bitch.
Boogle wolf ass bitch. Yeah.
Boogle wolf ass bitch. I met Tiffany with friend rules.
I'm just getting a little punchy at this point yeah you every time you say bitch i'm going to laugh i don't know i'm just getting a little anyway it's um we have to read ads or something but uh yeah thank you tiffany and thank you for talking to us and you're so lovely i like that you're doing all this stuff and it just adds to your smarts. You're just someone going out there, feeding their brain.
It's very nice to hear that. It's something that people talk about doing or think about doing.
Not everyone does it. I don't do it.
I want to evolve as a human. You know, this is the only life I'm living and I want to- I know, it's such a good, inspiring thing.
I can't believe it. Well, it is great to have stand-up as an outlet for that

because you've always done sort of you on stage and talked about you.

So it's interesting to take all these lessons you're learning

and experiences and then make a kick-ass stand-up special

and say, Dave Chappelle, follow that.

I would never say that to Dave Chappelle.

No, no.

I said it because he's the goat.'s why i used him ironically dana it's award season which means we're due for some classic red carpet combos like strapless dresses and statement necklaces or acclaimed directors and long acceptance speeches but you know what look always pairs perfectly together? Discover and cash back. You see, Discover automatically matches all the cash back you've earned at the end of the first year.
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It pays to Discover. See terms at discover.com slash credit card.
David, I don't know if you know this about me, but

I've always been a fan of exploring new places. Not like you kind of, you know, no, no offense.
And one of my best trips, listen up, is when I stayed at an Airbnb. It felt like I was living like a local with all the space, comfort of home.
You know, hotels can be a hassle room service service, and then the housekeeper, it's a hassle. So then you go to Airbnb and you can get whatever you want, a little cottage, this and that.
It's fantastic. You have your own separate space.
So it's a great product for people who travel. David? Yes, I have friends doing one of these right now.
If you have home you can airbnb it it's fantastic i mean um to to monetize your home when you're not there seems like a good idea i mean look i'm on the road a lot i could probably do it it's it's something that people can do when they travel they have extra space or you're at a place not full-time you come in the winter you leave in the summer so that's something you should think about it's a way to get some extra money and uh it's a cool experience your home might be worth more than you'd think yep find out how much at airbnb.com slash host do you remember by the way We met at this kind of corporate event we did the beverly hilton yeah that was casa la oh casa la and that's it wasn't corporate it was founded it was a it was a charity charity sorry yes uh but it was tables and and then you were so you're gonna open for me me and they said Tiffany Haddish I said Tuffany

Wattis what and then I went out because it and I said uh uh oh I better I'm gonna go look at my

notes because I you know I knew then I thought you know I don't know if a star is born or is that

before girls trip or you'd had acting jobs but I didn't really understand but yeah you were

right before girls trip and I had acting and all i did was talk about being in foster care yes that was the connection to it it was personal for you but um it didn't surprise me later when oh she's a star you know i always go by people one way one metric is like who you wouldn't want to follow you know like i wouldn't want to follow dave chappelle i wouldn't want to follow you you know some people go i can handle dana is that why you didn't take me on the road with you dana when i asked you did you ask me to go on the road because i don't really go on and you were like you got really awkward and you turn red like right now and you kind of giggle we. We'll look into it.
I remember that. And then I got you in a headlock and I was going, come on, bitch.
You got me a noogie. We'll look into it, buddy.
He doesn't go on the road with me. He's the worst.
I like doing standard, but I don't like to travel. That's the problem.
No, that's the part that sucks no i'm working on that i've been watching youtube videos on how to manifest uh teleportation so oh boy when i get that down i'll be the goat for sure yeah tell us we will when you can teleport yourself to someplace else on earth please come back yeah oh yeah i'm gonna teleport my phone into your office right now. Boing.
Oh, shit.

I dream of genie all right tiffany we'll talk to you later thank you for doing it thanks for the laughs be well thanks a lot this has been a presentation of odyssey please follow subscribe leave a like a review all the stuff smash that button

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Fly on the Wall

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by Dana Carvey

and David Spade

Jenna Weiss-Berman

of Odyssey

and Heather Santoro

the show's lead producer

is Greg Holtzman