SUPERFLY #64 - Space Chicks & Coachella

Speaker 1 All right, cold mornings,

Speaker 1 holiday plans, endless to-do lists.

Speaker 1 I just want my wardrobe to be simple, Dana. I just want pieces that look sharp, feel amazing.
Makes sense, and I'll use every day. You know what I mean? That's Quince.
That's it. The best part.

Speaker 1 Their pieces

Speaker 1 make effortless gifts.

Speaker 2 Also,

Speaker 1 this season, Quince nails it. $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters that feel like a treat every day.

Speaker 1 Wool coats that are both stylish and built to last. Their denim fits perfectly.
It's nutty comfortable, all without the high-end price tag.

Speaker 1 By working directly with ethical factories and top artisans, Quince delivers premium quality while cutting out the middlemen. So you get luxury without the luxury markup.

Speaker 2 I've been living in their cashmere sweaters lately. They hold up beautifully even through holiday chaos.
And Quince isn't just clothes. They've got amazing options for home, bath, kitchen, and travel.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. I picked up a few for myself and a few to gift, and it's all stuff people actually love.

Speaker 1 Give and get timeless holiday staples that last this season with Quince. Go to quince.com/slash fly for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.
Now available in Canada, too.

Speaker 1 That's q-u-in-ce-e.com slash fly. Free shipping, 365-day returns.

Speaker 2 Quince.com/slash fly. Hey, David, when it comes to gifting, you know i've learned there are two types of presents okay

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 2 the ones that get returned and the ones that instantly become a favorite do you agree yeah that's uh jenny bird jewelry uh definitely falls in the second category

Speaker 1 these designs as you know are very modern they're timeless always feel special oh well isn't that special that makes them my secret weapon when i want to give a gift that really you know lands that's why Jenny Bird makes it easy.

Speaker 1 The packaging is beautiful.

Speaker 1 It's very thoughtful. The pieces are comfy enough to wear every day.
Yep. And they ship fast.
That's perfect if you're a last-minute shopper like me.

Speaker 2 That's right. I mean, I just want to do this when I hear that.
Way to go. Way to go.
And because the styles are so versatile, they always make an outfit feel pulled together, David.

Speaker 2 Without trying too hard, David, not talking about you.

Speaker 2 Some of my wife's go-tos are the best-selling Florence earrings, which I always get compliments, and the Remy Bengal, lightweight, water-resistant, and just as good stacked as it is on its own.

Speaker 2 These are the gifts you'll actually want to keep.

Speaker 1 And you can get 20% off your first order with Jenny Bird by visiting jenny-bird.com and using code F-O-T-W at checkout. I think we're starting, Uncle Albert.
We're so starting.

Speaker 2 Go, what a

Speaker 1 bad joke to start with. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, buddy, um, so bad, it's kind of hip. I'm gonna go with that.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'm dark again because I'm wearing black, but uh, that's okay.

Speaker 2 Uh, you have a little bit of blue, otherwise, yeah, you'd be if you painted that wall black and wore that, you'd be a floating head, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Speaker 2 I will paint it different color.

Speaker 1 I look fucking awesome because my own brightness is down.

Speaker 1 People like to see this BTS

Speaker 2 too,

Speaker 2 yeah. The whole light thing is interesting.
You know,

Speaker 2 sometimes too much light ain't good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yours looks really good, but you like, you have the window right there, and I, it's too bright for me to stare into a window. I think, just so the people at home know all my ailments.

Speaker 2 News Flash finally got curtains. Whoa.

Speaker 2 So the curtains are now, you know, I know this is a multi-million dollar. Well, actually, we're the comedy podcast of the year,

Speaker 2 but technically we're just sort of DIY.

Speaker 2 But I have a curtain that it's darker in here than normal.

Speaker 1 Holy shit, I didn't get CC'd on this. So you bought curtains in the last week.

Speaker 2 No, my wife had to order them from France. They took six months.
I don't know what it is. So when I would take a nap, I'd have bright sun right on my face.
I'm trying to snooze. Now it's fantastic.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. Thanks, honey.
Oh, I have.

Speaker 1 I went farther than that, but I do have drapes.

Speaker 1 Different word for curtains.

Speaker 2 Drapes are good. Okay, here's a little insert on drapes.
Yeah. One of the first regular comedians I ever saw, Mark Miller.
I'm just going to little comedy clubs. I didn't know unknown comics.

Speaker 2 I didn't know anything about anything. His killer line was: Sometimes I wonder where the custom of urinating on drapes came from.
Something like that. I thought, God, that's brilliant.

Speaker 2 Check out Sabachia.

Speaker 1 You know, it's funny. I did Comedy and Magic Club last night to, bless you, to

Speaker 1 prep for Boston and some. What is it in New Jersey? Heather, the name Evanston, maybe?

Speaker 1 Oh, she doesn't know.

Speaker 2 Let's promote those kids.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've got those in my next one.

Speaker 2 I want them to go clean.

Speaker 2 I got clean.

Speaker 1 I got Omaha. Des Moines is almost full.

Speaker 1 Low ticket warning.

Speaker 2 Get them while you can't. You are hot.
I'm just going to say it after landing the, for sure we have confirmation, the most popular single moment of 50 years of Saturn Live the special.

Speaker 2 It was confirmation from three or four different guests that saying, so at this point, it's a known fact that for the 50th year, it wasn't Lauren's show, it wasn't, you know, John Mulaney, all the superstars, Steve Martin.

Speaker 2 It was David, our own David's made from the bleachers, spontaneously saying,

Speaker 2 Yeah, i got a feel for it

Speaker 2 it's kind of an honor in a way i mean we already got comedy podcast the year from i heart and now we've got the number one line spoken

Speaker 1 oh yeah no i'd like to hear that from the guests that always feels good because when you go all the way out there and you want to hang out there you just want anything a line anything so i'm excited by the way for those of you who missed those episodes we don't bring it up

Speaker 2 i certainly wouldn't out of envy and jealousy.

Speaker 1 I would never bring it up.

Speaker 2 We never bring it up. The guest brings it up, and then we talk about it for a half hour, but we've never brought it up except today because someone yesterday brought it up.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, I appreciate it. And I will tell you, Heather says I'm going to Berger, New Jersey.
Bergen.

Speaker 1 Bergen. Jeez, we can't even get it right at all.
I thought it was called Evans Center.

Speaker 2 It's the Bergen Performing Arts Center. Oh, Berger.
Are you going off market? I mean, are you going into

Speaker 2 where you're going to town? Now, you used to play Pittsburgh, Chicago, Miami, and now you're in Bergen, New Jersey.

Speaker 1 No. You know what I haven't done in a while?

Speaker 1 Pittsburgh and Toronto, and those two are going to be on the list to get to because when I announce tour dates, all people do is say, why aren't you coming to this city? Blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 But I've hit a lot of them. You know, I just did Theo's.

Speaker 1 podcast the other day. It's not on till May 6th because that's when the Amazon special is.
So it's going to coordinate with that. But

Speaker 1 we laugh. God, what was I going to say about that podcast? We laughed a lot.
He gives you high praise, of course, always. Dana gets it from all sides.

Speaker 2 He is a really good person. I'll just say that from personal experience.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he's running around LA now. So we're editing that.
My week, I did one Corpy.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 Dana and I, if you don't know, we voice text each other every day a bunch of dumb stuff. We actually try to put work into this podcast.
It does not seem like it, but we do.

Speaker 2 It's possible, because I never erase anything that we would eventually release all of our

Speaker 2 walkie-talkie chats. Because

Speaker 2 when people in the room, like my wife and stuff, or my son, they hear them, they just think they're so funny because we're just really being real.

Speaker 1 Right, because we don't care at all.

Speaker 2 We don't care at all. We're just trashing the humanity.

Speaker 1 Humanity.

Speaker 2 Humanity is in the crosshairs. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The funny thing about my corporate was I think it was for the, of course I didn't understand it, these big companies. Heather, was it the bank, the bank branding?

Speaker 1 Oh, God, she doesn't know one thing. The branding banks of America, whatever.
Something with banks, 2,000 people in Las Vegas, a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 You know, those things where the CEO wants to say hi, all this stuff. All those things that if they're not in your deal, you just do them.
And people at home should know.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of performers that are real sticklers about that. Like, hey, the CEO has his kid kid here he wants to say hi no

Speaker 1 that wasn't part of it you don't want to just walk in and let the boss who's paying you be nice to him for a second while you eat some cantaloupe cantaloupe squares from your green room some rider

Speaker 1 yeah so uh anyway by the way that guy was cool His kid was nice. And we, you know, had a good show.

Speaker 1 Supposed to do an hour. Hour is a bit heavy for these things, but you know, they pay you.
They want their.

Speaker 2 I would say they don't know sometimes, you know,

Speaker 2 like you'd be able to tell if it's been a long conference. Oh, I always say, when did they get up? Well, they got up at 6 a.m.
How long have they been in meetings? Nine hours.

Speaker 2 When was the is there an open bar? Yes. When did the open bar start? At five.
When do I go on? 10.

Speaker 2 I think you're going to want a 35 at that point.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's fun to see me.
Then after a while, they go, fuck this dude. Let's just get back.
They want to go party in Vegas or something.

Speaker 1 Or or sometimes you're a surprise which is even funnier because they all start to get up from their meeting and they go hold on they go oh what they go

Speaker 1 we've got a guest they're like oh come on we just finished but anyway well did it a lot of fun and four o'clock in the afternoon that's a rare one I love that what I hate is 10.

Speaker 2 I'm doing a private party where I found out that I followed

Speaker 2 a heavy metal rock band for an hour and then I go up and they want me to do 50.

Speaker 1 Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed Skullfuck. Now, here is Dan Garney.

Speaker 2 They're going to have all the flashing lies.

Speaker 1 Please put the fireworks out.

Speaker 1 Thank you for enjoying Twisted Pussy. Here we go.
We've got one more quick performer. He's going to do an hour 10.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 fuck you. And they're ordering drinks doing blow.
And then I come out. Wait, that's special.

Speaker 2 And I got a standing on just that way.

Speaker 1 Who was a green car?

Speaker 1 You know what's funny? I'll tell you this last night at Comedy Magic, because there's a lot of people who do crowd work.

Speaker 2 Is there magic?

Speaker 1 No magic last night. And it's funny because they always usually have a magician.
I think because I had Bobby and Jeff Cesareo.

Speaker 2 All right, so no magic.

Speaker 1 No magic. You know what you're talking about?

Speaker 2 The crowds are in a bad mood already.

Speaker 1 The crowds,

Speaker 1 if you do crowd work, one funny trick that comics do, have you ever seen this maneuver?

Speaker 1 Like they go hey how many kids you have and they go two they say some normal answer and then the guy goes oh and he has no joke so he goes the other night this lady said she had nine and i was like well and he says a joke and i'm like

Speaker 2 are you referring to another night when you said an ad-lib that was funny in that scenario and repeating it and they're like yeah it's called it's called the pivot it's like it's a good pivot right two weeks where i had a better ad lib off the top of your head how many kids you got?

Speaker 2 Two. What would be the most reasonable ad-lib that would you get a laugh on? Just that.
It's not a great setup.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 1 I think I would, if you're a good crowd workout, you go, what is the most common answer? And I'll think of a joke ahead of time.

Speaker 2 Well, I have to do that.

Speaker 1 Oh, go ahead. Yeah, I'm here.
Yours.

Speaker 2 How many kids you got? Two. Two.
So your husband enjoyed his vaccessomy. Fuck, I moved one.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 you got your tubes tied yeah so you got one from each nut i guess you're done so i didn't get my tubes tied all right fire three

Speaker 2 so okay what if i have four kids four kids okay you're one shy of a basketball team so i say get frisky you've got a full game of pickleball

Speaker 2 I have we have seven kids. Doubles.
We have seven kids, David Spade.

Speaker 1 Oh, what team in the NBA are you on?

Speaker 2 We have seven kids. What are you fucking nuts? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Dude, this guy is jizzing, folks, and it's landing.

Speaker 1 This guy is bullseye.

Speaker 2 This guy is the Arnold Schwarzenegger sperm. Yeah, I find my way to the egg.
It's not a problem for me. Here we go, swimming through the water.

Speaker 1 This guy got seven Yahtzee.

Speaker 2 But the good one is you go with a couple and they're not married. They're just dating.
The first and it's awkward laughs, awkward laughs. And what do you do for a living? I'm a student.

Speaker 2 Oh, so you're unemployed. Oh, so you're broke.
There's this, you know.

Speaker 1 But the best.

Speaker 1 Go ahead.

Speaker 2 No, we said this before, but it is illustrative when we're on this topic.

Speaker 2 The most popular put-down in the 80s versus the most popular put-down of the last five years. Most popular put-down in the 80s, someone heckles you.

Speaker 2 Hey, man, I don't come to jack of the box when you're working. Huge laugh.

Speaker 2 Today,

Speaker 2 I don't come to your job and slap the dick out of your mouth.

Speaker 2 That's the difference in the culture. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it used to be. I don't come to McDonald's and knock the broom out of your hand.

Speaker 2 I had never heard that. You never heard that?

Speaker 1 That was what I used to hear.

Speaker 2 I don't come to McDonald's and slack the milkshake out of your mouth.

Speaker 1 I don't pull you away from the milkshake machine.

Speaker 2 Well, do you ever have a bid on how many hamburgers they sold? Because there were a lot of people doing that.

Speaker 1 Oh, it was 1 billion for a while. They used to announce it on the

Speaker 2 out front. I think they went, you know, 100 million, and they got to a billion.
And then I think eventually they just go billions and billions.

Speaker 1 No, and then they said, we've sold a shitload. Believe us.

Speaker 1 Believe me. Trust me.

Speaker 2 The golden arches are actually made of diamonds. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, I know we're going to talk about topics, but

Speaker 1 I don't think the topic of the movie news about the rumor of the bodyguard, I don't think we're going to talk about that, but I heard that, and I was going to ask you: is the movie The Bodyguard?

Speaker 1 You've heard of it.

Speaker 2 I know a lot about Whitney Houston.

Speaker 2 I worked, the director who directed The Bodyguard,

Speaker 2 Mick Jackson. So, I know a lot about The Bodyguard.

Speaker 1 Okay, so what would you say if you heard it was going to be Taylor Swift in a remote?

Speaker 2 It's not a bad pick, yeah,

Speaker 2 super famous.

Speaker 2 I got a feeling, my blink on that is that she would actually be a really good actress and she'd be good in it.

Speaker 1 Because Whitney wasn't an actress, was she?

Speaker 2 No, but you know, Costner

Speaker 2 is extremely talented and really smart. And I think that he made her so he was, you know, the de facto co-director.
He's Costner.

Speaker 2 You know, he directed Dances with Wolves, and I think he made her good.

Speaker 2 I mean, if you're on a movie where the director shits on you or there's 3,000 takes, but if you're with Costner and goes, no, just do this, do this. I mean, she was great in that movie.

Speaker 1 Or he's trying to make himself look good and he looked bad. A lot of, you know, there's people out there starring and directing.
You never know what you're getting.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 if we were in a movie together, I'd be your, you know, I'd be your Costner and you'd be the Whitney Houston. I'd be like, David, I'll just be.
Look, I talk like this, just natural.

Speaker 2 You don't have to push, you know? And you would be great.

Speaker 1 And you'd carry me out of every scene.

Speaker 2 I accept it. I go, yeah, thank you.

Speaker 1 It's more fun to go with it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Sneaky condescension. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You'd be like, David, the reason I have all the jokes in the scene, you know, it's just too hard to explain.

Speaker 2 Let's just

Speaker 2 fantasize for a second. What would be the two best leads for remake of the bodyguard, man and woman?

Speaker 1 Okay, so if it's Taylor Swift, which I heard the rumor,

Speaker 1 and the rumor was the director was the director of her Aeras tour, which I don't know if that's a smart idea, but there's probably better directors for a story.

Speaker 1 Maybe Michael B. Jordan.

Speaker 1 He's cool. Maybe Ryan Gosling.

Speaker 2 Chris Pratt and Katie Perry. Done.

Speaker 1 Wait. Oh, you're switching it.
Okay. Katie Perry, but she's still shaking from her space trip.

Speaker 2 I'm going to do a, I'm going to talk about the spaceship in a minute.

Speaker 2 Okay, we're almost there. I worked on it for seven hours.
It's so fucking great.

Speaker 2 It's so fantastic. Okay, we'll hurry up through the bodyguard so we can talk about it.
I heard, should we finish the have we finished the bodyguard?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we got it. We just cast it.
It's done. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Ryan Gosling's not a bad choice. That guy's great.

Speaker 2 Okay, so go ahead. So this has been trending a little long.
We're just going to put it to rest here.

Speaker 1 We're at the tail end of it.

Speaker 2 I heard a rumor. It's gotten so big, you know, the idea that a lot of it was faked.
A lot of people

Speaker 2 wasn't quite real. Who was really in the spaceship?

Speaker 2 So I heard a rumor that they're going to have a sent senate uh committee investigate it now oh wow okay

Speaker 2 you uh

Speaker 2 miss gail king now you and some folks supposedly went on a spaceship is that correct yes yes we did uh-huh and you were afraid of going on that spaceship weren't you miss king sure a little bit now

Speaker 2 Now,

Speaker 2 your best friend is Oprah Winfrey. Is that correct?

Speaker 1 She's my yes friend. And quote.

Speaker 2 She tweeted. And by the way, I have no B in my bonnet over this.
I don't have an apple up my tush. I'm just trying to get to the essence here.
Now, your best friend. The essence.

Speaker 2 Tweeted a week ago Tuesday that my friend Gail King is going into space wink wink.

Speaker 2 What are you supposed to meant by that? Her words, not mine. Wink, wink.
You didn't go into space, did you? Order, order. You never were in that spaceship, were you? Did you say order? Order, order.

Speaker 2 Order, order. You never went up there.
It was all fine.

Speaker 1 People are yelling. Hey, come on.

Speaker 2 Let's committee.

Speaker 2 My time's up. Let's committee.

Speaker 1 Sir, sir, Mr. Kennedy.

Speaker 2 Sorry, my time's up. I didn't mean to disturb you.

Speaker 2 Okay. And scene.
Patrick can jump cut that.

Speaker 1 That's good. Maybe the wink is more like, she's your girlfriend.
Right.

Speaker 1 But you're like.

Speaker 1 well why would she say she's going up to space and wink wink she's my girlfriend why did she really say that i don't know i made everything up oh i like it but there was a fake hand and you know you know i will say that that whole idea sounded like everyone was you know a not coked up but it sounds like an idea that you would do in college and you're wasted and you go hey

Speaker 1 Do we still have, hey, Jeff, do we still have that old spaceship in the backyard?

Speaker 2 And he's like, yeah, why?

Speaker 1 Well, we should brush the cobwebs off. Could it get a couple hundred feet in the air? I'm sure it could.
Let's make a national story out of it.

Speaker 2 Well, here's how it happened, David.

Speaker 1 Okay, let me know. I don't know how it happened.

Speaker 2 Now, sleight of hand, they're getting ready. They're going.
They've got their jumpsuits on, this and that. Now, one by one, it looks like they're going on, but they're actually ducking around.

Speaker 2 There's a trapdoor. They go safely underground, and they're like 100 yards away in the tunnel.
They have the dummies are put up. They're popped up by remote.

Speaker 2 They have a little anti-gravity thing in their little thing that they get in, but they never go up into outer space. That's the

Speaker 2 other shot. There's a little TV studio.

Speaker 1 Maybe they filmed it first. They filmed their anti-gravity stuff.

Speaker 2 That's better, too. Yeah.
But there's no way

Speaker 2 they went in outer space.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 But they weren't, were they not supposed to go? They're not going to the Van Allen belt, the one I couldn't remember the other day.

Speaker 2 Wink,

Speaker 2 now you do it.

Speaker 1 I know it now, motherfucker.

Speaker 2 And here's the thing. Now,

Speaker 2 the first people that went on that rocket, I'm doing Kennedy again,

Speaker 2 probably were a little more serious because when they do rockets, the first 10 usually blow up. Then they've had five

Speaker 2 successful ones. Let's put a dude in it or a woman.
So by the time they went up, it was kind of like party time.

Speaker 2 And then everyone shit on them, but it was just gals having fun.

Speaker 1 I do have to say, I have two things to say. I want to hear that.
They're both very important.

Speaker 1 One is,

Speaker 1 I know they, I know it's girl power and they say women went up, but at a certain point, if we're all supposed to be equal, just say five people went up.

Speaker 1 We always separate people and it should be just like, hey, they're good, they're smart, they can get up there. Like, that's fun.
I don't think they should consider it such a victory.

Speaker 1 Like, we did what the boys did because there are female astronauts.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. And also, when Elon saved those people, no one cared about that.
And even the female astronaut that was up there for nine months got about two seconds of airtime.

Speaker 1 No one gave a fat fuck about her because she wasn't a model, but she did do a lot and she did go through a lot. That's a that's a really interesting story.

Speaker 1 The hell out of you, and she was up there banging around that tin can,

Speaker 1 so she's a very interesting woman that should get some award for something. But listen, these women went up, had fun.

Speaker 1 I don't even know how it started or why it started, but it was a really, really big story,

Speaker 1 if not only on TikTok.

Speaker 2 It visited us on the podcast because Carol Leafer was doing a show. Okay, so it's three women, and it's and then all of a sudden they go, Ladies Comedy Night Out, or whatever the name.

Speaker 2 But if you, me, and Theo go out and do a stand-up thing, they go, Boys Night Out, here they go, yeah, right.

Speaker 2 But more than half the population is women, so we want to change it.

Speaker 2 People want to, yeah, Yeah, they're doing a lot.

Speaker 1 And the jokes were so pretty funny. That's why we're at the tail end of it.
But some of the stuff I heard on just reading and Instagram, everyone was clowning on it.

Speaker 1 And then they're getting clowned on for clowning on it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's all hysterical. It's all fun.
It was just, it was mild amusement for the culture in the tumultuous times we will perennially live in.

Speaker 1 So, anyway, it was nothing serious. It happened.

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Speaker 2 and so i'd like to see id please either they have to scan it or something whatever and then i i'm a senior and i'm i'm trying to find my license and i feel like such a early onset demented idiot i'm going i it was in here you know and it's like a car

Speaker 2 it's between two credit cards and I put all the cards out. It's like, it's like the amazing Crescent, like, where the fuck is my driver? And they're looking at me like, you fucking boat.

Speaker 1 You're like that magician, Ronnie J or somebody, you know, where they get they, so it's like a card trick. They go, you're like, it is in my wallet.

Speaker 1 And then you pull out a bunch of cards. It's going to be one of these and you lay them out.
Then you start flipping them over. Is that my wallet? No, that's not.

Speaker 1 That's my Montgomery Wards credit card.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly. And they really want the license.

Speaker 1 Here's my Discover card. What else? Here's my gym membership from Nautilus.

Speaker 2 Do you have a shtick? This is what I do every time I hand a credit card to someone. Oh, yeah.
I just found it in the parking lot, and I really hope it goes through. And then I kiss it.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. I have worse.

Speaker 2 You laugh so hard. Do you have something?

Speaker 1 I have when the check comes and you go like this.

Speaker 1 Okay, great. Who ordered the couch?

Speaker 1 That's when it's high. Got nothing from Heather on that one.

Speaker 2 That's funny, though.

Speaker 2 That's a good one. I like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then I go like this.

Speaker 2 Oh, hmm.

Speaker 1 Do you have financial aid?

Speaker 1 And then I go like this.

Speaker 1 Do you guys have a layaway?

Speaker 1 Okay. Can I have to do a layaway on this crab cake?

Speaker 1 Oh, I did hear this, Dent, what's your name?

Speaker 2 Dana?

Speaker 1 That at Coachella,

Speaker 1 that they,

Speaker 1 you know, it's getting so expensive in the whole world that this is something they're doing. Obviously, it's an expensive world.

Speaker 1 I don't know if it's a great idea to do, not layaway, but payments for concerts now.

Speaker 1 So it's that. So you can spend like $49 to get a great pass to Coachella, but you have to pay it off.
Oh, here comes Heather.

Speaker 2 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Fire Festival 2 is postponed. Who would ever see that coming?

Speaker 2 Let me just make a note. I'm going to have to.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 When are you going to tell Paula?

Speaker 2 I'm going to call Warren Grant after this.

Speaker 1 Call our business manager and say, hey,

Speaker 1 I bought the million-dollar pup tent for that one.

Speaker 1 Can you just tell them to send it back to me on Venmo?

Speaker 2 I think sometimes human beings like things being expensive because it seems like it's got to be better. Like, it's a $200 steak.
Oh, it's got to be good. And guess what?

Speaker 2 it's not so good

Speaker 1 yeah i've had some ratty

Speaker 2 yeah rat infested

Speaker 2 fatty gristle is one of the worst words in the english language sickening sickening

Speaker 1 what about when you get i don't like wagu when they go it's the fatty meat don't want to say the word fatty is that your sales pitch where you go tuna toro

Speaker 2 it's the more fattier one sick get lost i know as if it's more flavorful sick who wants fat no i don't want fat. My dad would always make us eat steak.

Speaker 2 He would buy the cheapest steak you could ever get and put it in a freezer in the garage. And then you'd get it.
And it was just gristle

Speaker 2 with a tiny bit of meat on it. Oh, Jesus Christ, get the gristle.
Same thing with the carol syrup. We couldn't afford maple syrups.
We got this white see-through syrup, carol, and the ants loved it.

Speaker 2 It was so sweet. There were ants all over it and inside of it.
And he goes, I go, God, there's ants in this. He goes, oh, Jesus Christ, it's protein.

Speaker 2 These are quotes. Yeah, I believe it for sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I also, ants get too high on it.

Speaker 2 They're like, what the fuck? They're not ready for it. Yeah, even the ants are just.

Speaker 2 But he would, my dad would do this. He'd get up Sunday morning.
He'd pull, put so much oil in this big pan, considered himself this great chef. He'd have a pancake batter.

Speaker 2 He'd make the pancakes and they'd just be bubbling with oil. On the oil? Yeah, on the oil.
So the first three or four batches, he would call crispies because the oil would just harden and bubble over.

Speaker 2 And he got me a huge stack. I'm like six years old.
He goes, oh, Jesus Christ, Dane loves the Krispies, which I didn't. So I ate Krispies and then I threw up.

Speaker 1 Trying to make dad happy.

Speaker 2 So horrible. So sad.

Speaker 1 Let's go back to Coachella because Coachella was a big deal.

Speaker 1 It's also this weekend.

Speaker 2 Is that your idea of having a good, how many outhouses would there be?

Speaker 1 I heard it it was outhouse light because I saw a city council meeting yesterday. What am I watching? Where the guy was like, and it was some old women going like this, you really did us dirty.

Speaker 1 And he's like, he's from like, what's it called? Golden Voice, whatever does all these live nation. He's like, hey, man, a couple of fucking blips.

Speaker 1 And they're like, yeah, it was 12 hours of traffic they were stuck in. People ran out of gas.
Yeah, we got some bugs, some hiccups. They always reduce it to nothing.

Speaker 2 There's no battle. She goes, there's no facilities.

Speaker 2 And he's like, I know. Is this a local woman?

Speaker 2 Yeah, she's in Palm Springs and she's saying she's 21. She ruined our town.

Speaker 1 No, she's about 300.

Speaker 1 And she's like going,

Speaker 2 oh, why?

Speaker 1 You ruin our city with this shit.

Speaker 2 We have an infestation of hippies on our property. Do you know the tattoo count? Defecating

Speaker 2 in the backyard.

Speaker 1 They pooped on our barrel cactus.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's people that the best move is to go to the Madison Club, that really killer Mike Meldman,

Speaker 1 you know, place down there that has all the juicy houses. It's like a housing development.
They have them all over the country and they're just so kick-ass.

Speaker 1 And you're close to Coachella, so you can hear it. And what I'm hearing, Dana, and do not fucking repeat this,

Speaker 1 is that these girls go down there and of course they have the tra-la-la life. They get whatever.
So some rich guy has the house. they go down, they stay at the house.

Speaker 1 Sometimes they don't even go to the concert, they just hear it and then just do their molly and all their drugs at the house and get wasted and take a million pictures of themselves.

Speaker 1 I love every life, I'm out there grinding.

Speaker 2 Well, do people want to go there because it's hard to get in and it's really expensive, and it's where the cool people are?

Speaker 2 Does anyone really have a good time at Coachella unless you have special passes? I think they have special seats, helicopters.

Speaker 2 And by the way i just got to say yes i've watched benson boone is that his name

Speaker 2 benson the tv show no benson heather would know yeah

Speaker 2 with the jumper yeah so he's looks like he's from the 70s he looks like uh burt lancaster in the movie trapeze he's wearing like a trapeze onesie Yeah, I saw him, and he did a flip off the piano.

Speaker 2 Well, no, and he's doing, he's covering,

Speaker 2 he's covering Queen Bohemian Rhapsody,

Speaker 2 and then singing the song, and then doing triple flips off the piano over and over again, and running and sprinting. So, I had to say, I was entertained.

Speaker 2 I'm like, you're taking a circus performer, giving him a really good,

Speaker 2 he's tumbling, doing, and he did a magic trick at the end. He had to pick a card, any card as he finished.
Nothing really matters. And he flipped the card, and I was like,

Speaker 1 No, he did not, did he?

Speaker 1 Because, first of all, let's start with he's good-looking.

Speaker 1 Once you're good looking,

Speaker 1 everything's easier after that.

Speaker 2 He can sing. No, he can sing.
Neither is he? Yeah.

Speaker 1 He can sing. Picking Bohemian Rhapsody, the best part was bringing the real Brian May to play guitar, and no one gave a fat fuck.
That was sad. Smattering of applause.
People are like this.

Speaker 1 Who's this old guy?

Speaker 2 I was able, I was on a Zoom with Brian Mayn a couple years ago, and I said that Bohemian Rhapsody was a full-blown masterpiece of pop rock, and he's very humble about it. Oh, geez, thank you.

Speaker 2 But he had had a little stroke, he's recovered, he comes out giant mop white hair, and he just nails it. And it reminds you how brilliant his solo is on that song.
It's amazing. The song's amazing.

Speaker 2 But Benson Boone has pipes. I guess he's good looking.
I don't get it. But no, I'm kidding.

Speaker 1 That's just

Speaker 1 Brian May. The comments were like, who Who is that guy? He needs conditioner in his hair.
And I was like, Well, that's sort of being superficial for a superstar guitarist.

Speaker 1 It's probably voted one of the top 10 of all time.

Speaker 2 I think he might be underrated on those lists, but he's definitely known by everybody else as one of the greats. Yeah.
You know, everyone's forgotten, David.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 Every year that goes by.

Speaker 2 If they,

Speaker 2 what percentage of Coachella would know who Johnny Carson was? Zero, one, two.

Speaker 1 Zero to one percent, yeah.

Speaker 2 So that's all right, but they do know Queen because

Speaker 2 Queen has we are the champions.

Speaker 1 You know, Dana, you were

Speaker 1 no one asked me this, but I did do a

Speaker 1 video on YouTube for Funnier Die clowning on Coachella about 10 years ago.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, I remember that. You were at the end of the day.
And every year they

Speaker 1 comes in, and I, we make fun of her for attending Coachella. I would post it but you can't repost funnier die funnier die so is funnier dies still around

Speaker 2 I don't know let's let's look at a clip

Speaker 2 is it around Heather I thought we posted it

Speaker 1 and funny your die is on tiktok and they posted it oh they're on tick tock they okay they are because they posted clips of it like

Speaker 1 one minute clips of the whole thing is probably it's four or five minutes yeah uh okay what's next story or we do stories yeah what's the next one

Speaker 2 the panel of five judges was was ready to hear his case when he asked to play a video to make his case. May it please the court.

Speaker 2 I come here today, a humble proceeder for a panel of five distinguished justices.

Speaker 2 Is this hold on?

Speaker 5 Is that counsel for the case?

Speaker 2 What it turned into was possibly the shortest career ever in a courtroom, in part because what's on the bottom right of your screen isn't a real lawyer or even a real person, but an avatar created by artificial intelligence.

Speaker 2 The judge, learning of this, was not pleased.

Speaker 1 I don't appreciate

Speaker 1 being missing. Looks like the palm spring.

Speaker 2 How do we know she's got an AI?

Speaker 1 That's true, Dana.

Speaker 2 This whole thing is out of this case.

Speaker 1 How do we know this isn't April Fools Joe?

Speaker 2 So, an AI lawyer looked like a clean-cut guy in a sweater.

Speaker 1 Look like Dave Coollier on Full House.

Speaker 2 Dave Coulier looked like Joey.

Speaker 2 And that's our future.

Speaker 1 That's our future. I hate it.
If we're not rat fucked between AI and April Fools, we can't win.

Speaker 2 You know what we're going to do? And I'll announce it now because it'll take time to get it together. We're going to have digital copies of ourselves do Super Marvel.
Of us.

Speaker 2 And the weird thing, it might be the best episode.

Speaker 1 Oh, what if they're way funnier? What if they don't stare in the camera at their hair like I do?

Speaker 1 Okay, that was good, though, Dana. I like that one.

Speaker 2 There's other ones.

Speaker 1 I could see saying, you know what I thought that was going to be

Speaker 1 that the court was AI

Speaker 1 so they could decide if you're guilty or not just by facts with nothing else. You know what I mean? No personal opinion.
Just this happened, this happened. Here you go.
Or did the law is this? Boom.

Speaker 1 That might happen.

Speaker 2 Yes, I think so.

Speaker 1 Okay. Who is this? The guy from the office? No.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 Speaking of which,

Speaker 1 this guy

Speaker 1 tattooed KRUD

Speaker 1 because you win $250,000 on a radio station.

Speaker 2 So he did it on his forehead, and it's huge.

Speaker 1 Now play it.

Speaker 2 Tattooed the word K-R-U-D on his forehead, hoping to win a $250,000 prize, but it turned out to be a thoughtless and insensitive April Fool's prank incident.

Speaker 2 In 2021, a popular radio station named K-R-U-D ran a contest claiming that they would reward $250,000 to the first listener who tattooed the word K-R-U-D on their forehead. Mr.

Speaker 2 Bell, hoping to support his financially struggling parents, jumped at the chance and got the tattoo, only to discover that it was all a hoax.

Speaker 2 So, surprisingly, the radio station had confirmed that the challenge was real when Mr. Bell phoned them just before getting the tattoo.

Speaker 1 This is the problem.

Speaker 2 Then he closed ahead. Mr.
Bell sued the radio station for $510,000.

Speaker 2 K-R-U-D, however, claimed that it was entirely Mr. Bell's fault for not recognizing the obvious prank and that the competition's terms and conditions clearly stated it was an April Fool's prank.

Speaker 2 Despite their arguments, the judge ruled in favor of Mr. Bell, and he was awarded the $510,000 compensation for the prank.

Speaker 1 I agree.

Speaker 2 I know, but you know, if you've watched it, he takes out just a wet rag and just wipes it off.

Speaker 1 Oh, and he does it back to a temporary tat.

Speaker 2 Jeez.

Speaker 1 Get 510 grand.

Speaker 2 510 grand.

Speaker 1 Must be nice.

Speaker 2 Must be nice. Do we have someone with the bully, Greg?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, the bully's good.

Speaker 2 There's, oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 This one has a surprise ending.

Speaker 2 All right, this is everyone's nightmare in school.

Speaker 1 This is Spade getting bullied. Yeah.
No, actually, I do hate bullies, but go ahead. I'll just say that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, this is self-volume. Sorry, but it's

Speaker 2 that guy.

Speaker 1 So I guess he's pulling his kids.

Speaker 2 He's probably a teacher.

Speaker 1 I think he's a dad.

Speaker 1 It's like Jason Kelsey.

Speaker 2 The way that guy walks.

Speaker 2 What's our world coming to?

Speaker 1 Dude, no offense, I would beat the shit out of every kid at that school.

Speaker 2 You think that was a dad? A lumbering dad?

Speaker 1 I think it was a dad dad that his kid got bullied and he went in to stick up for his kid.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay. You want to do that? It's kind of chilling.

Speaker 1 Now I make you feel bad. Now I make you feel bad for him.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then the bravery and the shenanigans of pantsing, hulking, angry adult.

Speaker 2 But they sprint.

Speaker 1 But they know he can't beat him up.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 he can't move. I mean, the way he walked is he waddled.

Speaker 2 He's a little stiff.

Speaker 1 He played a couple years and yeah.

Speaker 1 JV football.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 a lot of. Anyway, I don't know if I love seeing his nuts.

Speaker 2 No, that was the humiliating part. Maybe we can cut it out.

Speaker 1 That was like a scene in me and grown-ups when they made me walk up the stairs.

Speaker 1 Okay, so no, it's funny.

Speaker 1 If they'll let us, it's fun. It's the funny part.

Speaker 2 Look at this. It's just a lot of stuff happening.
That you don't see, David.

Speaker 1 You know what, Dana? You look, but you don't see. You hear, but you don't listen.

Speaker 2 You live in David World. Quick impression of you.
I'm going to Koi. I'm going to have fun.
I'm playing this city. And all the while, this life is going on outside your little spade bubble.

Speaker 1 You know what's funny about Koi is on Theos, he's like, remember, I go, remember we ran into jellyfish or whatever that guy's name is? Jelly Bean.

Speaker 1 And he goes, jelly bean? And he goes, yeah, we were at Koi. And I'm like, Of course we were at Koi.
How funny we were at Koi.

Speaker 2 We go other places.

Speaker 1 Every story comes into Koi.

Speaker 2 You and I don't go to Koi enough, and and i'm sad uh it's got it yeah it's good they we have fun there yes because i like it it's it's nice and cool the music's very benign it's dark and it feels very you can sit on back now it's even even quieter um yeah all right next story

Speaker 1 all right ktla which i listen to sometimes

Speaker 1 they accidentally

Speaker 1 Post the N-word. I'm not laughing.

Speaker 2 On X. Technical error.

Speaker 1 Twitter.

Speaker 2 Come on. What?

Speaker 1 who's vetting on God's Green Earth they said here's what they said

Speaker 1 I think because this is a story from LA okay they they just put that word and uh

Speaker 1 and tweeted it out okay but I think they said oh we were trying to put the words to block you know Heather you had to block stuff on my Instagram once oh

Speaker 1 that's in settings posted in posting oh yeah this is posting not settings yeah so it's a little flimsy we're hearing from the audience.

Speaker 1 Anything can happen.

Speaker 1 But yeah, either way, run from this. Just please hope the world keeps moving because

Speaker 2 we're going to do something taught.

Speaker 2 Or that was

Speaker 1 hard. You get it.
They just put a tweet out that just said that word and they were like, you know, like, hey, everybody.

Speaker 1 And everyone's like, huh?

Speaker 2 Huh?

Speaker 1 A news station.

Speaker 2 And they're like, ha, b, b, b, b, b, b,

Speaker 1 ha, pushed wrong keys. Yeah.
Sent mistake, please. please.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they had one guy, and he has had a private room. His only thing was to vet the articles.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, I missed it, you know, was that, you know, thought, you know, I had a big lunch, you know, pepperonis were around, you know, make me temporarily blind when I pressed the send.

Speaker 1 Temporary insanity.

Speaker 2 No, no, it's perfectly right.

Speaker 2 I should have, but I don't.

Speaker 1 She's a beautiful dog. Okay, that's a story.
Next one.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 You went into Owen Wilson.

Speaker 2 Well, I was going to do Owen Wilson shaping the guy. You got to be better with that, man.
You can't do that. You got to tell him not to put out words like that.

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Speaker 1 Did you know we talked about Jack Black who's on the show? Who's not on

Speaker 2 the show? I think it's May 2026.

Speaker 1 No, 2025. He'll be on in like a week, but he'll be on in a week.

Speaker 2 He can't wait.

Speaker 1 But we were joking about how people go crazy when the chicken jockey comes out. And I told you this is real.
This is a real one, Heather. When the chicken jockey comes out, they used to throw popcorn.

Speaker 2 Okay, when the chicken jockey comes out.

Speaker 1 Look what they're doing, Heather.

Speaker 2 What is

Speaker 1 they're lighting fireworks?

Speaker 2 Fireworks in the theater in the theater. Wow.

Speaker 2 And they're raining down on them. Yeah.
They're not lighting up. People are panicked and running, screaming.

Speaker 1 And there's some part of the movie where it makes everyone go crazy, and now it's a joke. They all do it, like Rocky Horror.
But they're taking it too far.

Speaker 2 Oh, you're saying this is Minecraft. Yeah.
Oh, and at a certain part, everyone comes in and lights on fireworks.

Speaker 1 No, at a certain part, everyone would throw popcorn.

Speaker 2 They would do that, but then this is.

Speaker 1 And then a week later, it's escalated to someone brought a live chicken in, and then people are on each other's shoulders. Then they started throwing fireworks.

Speaker 1 fireworks when they see the chicken they thought yeah just like here's our time to go nuts and the police came in we talked to jack it had just started at a place where like hey guys don't go throw stuff

Speaker 2 and now oh heather only heard the word chicken oh the word chicken got out of the coop and had fun chicken got out of the coop yeah it was a lot to unpack i will say this is that the movie's a smash but when we talked with Jack, he was just hoping it would get to 700 million.

Speaker 2 I think it's getting very close to that already it's only been out two weekends so i told him it'll do a billion

Speaker 2 and um

Speaker 2 if it does i'll i'll try to find him get up in his grill a little bit

Speaker 2 undress may 7th he'll be on our show i think the um

Speaker 1 i think the

Speaker 1 No, what I think, what I think was I thought.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 1 No, I forgot my train of thought. you said may 7th and i was like

Speaker 1 many strokes are not conducive to no talk show fada oh i was saying this sort of controversy helps a movie a lot because every dopey kid goes oh we got to go see this and see what people will do actually i'm going to bring a handful of rocks and then it escalates so they can get on video and film it and post it and be like i was at that one Well, the only thing as follows.

Speaker 2 Fireworks fly around and fireworks can land in someone's eye, and fireworks could blind someone in the theater. And then

Speaker 2 Cain has a billion-dollar lawsuit.

Speaker 1 I know, so the movie makes a lot, the theater's bum out.

Speaker 2 They might sue the movie, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. I'm sure he doesn't want this much chaos.

Speaker 2 I am a grumpy old man, and I don't like fireworks and a movie. Put them out,

Speaker 2 pistol Pete. I'm trying to watch John Wayne.

Speaker 1 My day, we used to put silly putty on a cartoons.

Speaker 2 In my day, we didn't have movie theaters. We make a sock puppet and make our sister laugh while it rained outside.

Speaker 2 We like that on fire. That's a feature film.
Did you ever go to a double feature? You go in at noon, you come out at six o'clock.

Speaker 1 Oh, or a drive-in?

Speaker 2 Not a drive-in.

Speaker 2 Two matinees in the afternoon.

Speaker 1 I did double feature and a drive-in, motherfucker. That's for

Speaker 2 raw dogging. I did all-night creature features.
Oh, I didn't have to do that. All night in the drive-in, watching Edgar Alvin Pohl, Vincent Price, old-fashioned horror films till dawn, bitch.

Speaker 1 My brother, they know I'm the scared one of the family, hence dandelion. And they go, hey, come with us to see the blood farmers at midnight.
And I was like, that's not a scary one. They're like, no.

Speaker 1 You think from the title, I might have deduced that it was scary. It was so sickening.

Speaker 2 I i had to walk out and walk home

Speaker 1 at 12 dana

Speaker 2 my friends and i this is why i'm up which i probably said before we go oh what's that we're trying to see a movie high school but you know 16.

Speaker 2 what's that x or who sisty what we go in we're in the third row i have no idea

Speaker 2 original exorcist

Speaker 2 never

Speaker 2 had no idea and it really just disturbed me and i was you know just

Speaker 2 i was flipped out for a long time after i still haven't seen it yeah it's too much.

Speaker 1 I swear I haven't seen it.

Speaker 2 It's, yeah, it's a brilliant film.

Speaker 1 Bring in the devil. You know what, Coachelle, I have to say, and this sounds like a little bit of a pulp.

Speaker 1 Lady Gaga, who is great, I don't think they need this extra part where they're all adding this devil worshiping satanic rituals in their act. It's not just a quick thing.
They do a whole thing.

Speaker 1 I just think it's, I would walk out. I hate to say it.
Maybe I'm alone. I can't.
I don't know why they do it. I don't know why it's cool.
And I don't know why.

Speaker 1 If worst case scenario, it's just corny at this point. Sam Smith, it's just so like heavy and weird and dark.

Speaker 1 Why, why, why? Now, listen, we had ACDC and they had like a picture of a devil. Obviously in the background, what this is, we know it's out there.

Speaker 1 We just don't need it on the jumbotron, you know what I mean? Of life. Like it's in the background every time.
We're trying to get through life every day. Why that offends me?

Speaker 2 We don't know. I mean, I pitched you, and it was a terrible idea.
We did this gig recently, that you were going to be in a really realistic devil costume, like with big, long hands and nails.

Speaker 2 And then I was going to be dressed as a church lady, and we were going to have like a battle royale. Oh, right, right, right.
And you, you got in the costumes, and you're like,

Speaker 2 I think he wants out. Heather unzipped it.

Speaker 1 You came out like I said, why am I on the bad team? And you're on the good team.

Speaker 2 But yeah, they want a trend.

Speaker 2 They're not superstars because they're dumb. They know that that's going to go somewhere.
Devil worship.

Speaker 2 What's next, though? Hardcore porn?

Speaker 1 Right. Sacrifice.
I mean, it is a slippery slope. I think so personally.
I sound like a bit of a prude, but

Speaker 1 legit concern for the world.

Speaker 2 I want good music when I go to a music show.

Speaker 1 Yeah, sorry. Sorry.
I paid my $3,800 to sit in the 50th row. I want a good show.

Speaker 1 Well, I've got my green wristband. I get to go to the

Speaker 1 nacho stand in the Tater Junction hut.

Speaker 2 Let's do something. You know, let's get a

Speaker 2 band that just does all the monkeys songs from the 60s

Speaker 2 and call it Coachella Le Le La. And it's like 40 miles away.
It costs like $2 to get in. Just make a mini Coachella.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we should do a different, but Coachella is hard to compete with. It's a second weekend they're going to do it.
It's going to kill.

Speaker 1 Okay, what's next story?

Speaker 1 Buskers.

Speaker 1 What's a busker mean again?

Speaker 2 Busker, is he selling stuff? Oh, just a street musician, street performer, yeah, trying to make money.

Speaker 1 All right, let's see how good this guy is. All right,

Speaker 2 I'm from Norwich, he's from Norwich.

Speaker 2 Okay,

Speaker 1 okay, oh, you do drums, yeah, someone with this sound.

Speaker 2 Is that him? That's him doing

Speaker 2 it. You know, they're kind of invisible, it's just done by a computer.

Speaker 1 No, he's doing his mouth.

Speaker 2 I call it

Speaker 1 only invisible drum kit. Invisible drums.

Speaker 2 Here we go.

Speaker 2 That's pretty good, right? The high hat to my left.

Speaker 2 The snare in the middle.

Speaker 2 The bongo drum the top like this. There's

Speaker 2 the floor toms.

Speaker 1 He's doing a beat box.

Speaker 2 That's good. He's Michael Winslow.
Five different noises in this drum beat to begin warming up the voice.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Hey.

Speaker 1 Motherfucker, I say home.

Speaker 2 I'd like to know what he's got coming through that amp as far as helping out.

Speaker 2 Thank you.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Adding this sound.

Speaker 2 I can do that. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 2 He's having a seizure. A little bit faster this time.
I'll make it a drum on bass beat. Everyone's just walking by.
No one gives a shit.

Speaker 1 Song's not very catchy.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 1 All right. I'm going to have to do it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, let's see if Danny can do it.

Speaker 2 Shit.

Speaker 1 It's a bus golf.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 How about the hi-hat?

Speaker 1 I like when they grab it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you do sound effects.

Speaker 2 Okay, you do that. I can't do that.

Speaker 2 Just do the

Speaker 2 name. I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 Proper.

Speaker 1 Hey, Danny, you want to be bored?

Speaker 1 This is what I, when people ask me how I slept,

Speaker 1 it's why some people just do it to be nice. Hey, good morning.
Hey, did you sleep good? Do not even stumble into that with me. I'll go into a whole soliloquy.
I'm like, oh my God.

Speaker 1 At first, I was so tired. First of all, they're like, oh, are you giving a real answer? I'm like,

Speaker 1 so then I'm laying there, then I'm tired, but then I realize I'm not even sleeping. And then I slept on my side.
I try to sleep my back. And then I heard a noise.
Everyone's like, this,

Speaker 1 please end this. I go on forever it's horrible

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 2 maybe you need do you wear a mask are you one of those people you wear a mask i have a c pack on my wiener yeah and that helps you sleep or

Speaker 1 just makes a noise it just feels good

Speaker 1 i just look at heather you know heather about a half hour ago you were just staring and then you look at this

Speaker 1 And I was like, was that for us or for something you're reading?

Speaker 2 I think Heather was snoring. I think it's

Speaker 1 I think she read something and then she

Speaker 1 it was funny, though. All right, well, thanks everybody.
And

Speaker 2 thanks for listening.

Speaker 1 We always appreciate it. And we'll talk to you later.

Speaker 1 This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.