Bobby Lee Bombs But is Rich Enough for Spade
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Transcript
Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.
Speaker 2 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.
Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep
Speaker 1 coming.
Speaker 2 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.
Speaker 1
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And suddenly I'm like, why do my jeans hate me? I know.
Speaker 4
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Not a lot of healthy options, David. But here's the thing.
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Yeah, it's not just about eating better. It's about time.
I'd rather spend 30 minutes working on a bit for my hilarious act than 30 minutes staring into my oven going, is this thing even on? Right?
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Speaker 1
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Speaker 1
That's Pod50. Seriously, don't wait.
Your future self will thank you.
Speaker 4 Yes. Thank you for not feeding me the leftover lasagna for the 12th time.
Speaker 1 Bori, Bori, oh, oh, you know what I mean? Because she was dating Mori at the time. Maybe two sexual, but um dating, yes, right in our wavelength.
Speaker 4 Married 45 years, favorite already.
Speaker 1 The first time you've ever even paid attention to me, because I was wearing a monclair t-shirt.
Speaker 1 I was wearing a
Speaker 1 so let me ask you about the wrong missing. Oh, Mori.
Speaker 1 Okay,
Speaker 1 did I that day, yeah, uh-uh, okay, that day,
Speaker 1 did I do a bad job?
Speaker 1 That's a great question.
Speaker 1 Okay, so to start the show, Dana, I'm going to bore the shit out of you with a story about gambling, about fantasy football,
Speaker 1 about DraftKings, which is not an ad.
Speaker 1 I can be critical. I can be real.
Speaker 4 Okay. Is it okay to say, I'm all ears? yeah okay i'm all ears
Speaker 1 you're all ears and you know plants can hear things so i think your plant is gonna like this one don't make fun of i'm not i'm saying plants gertrude is very sensitive gertrude has a mind of her own yeah
Speaker 1 i don't appreciate no i know no one's going
Speaker 1 sorry go ahead
Speaker 1
so you get on this thing It's 4th of July. It's a little early to do fantasy football.
Boring, boring, boring. But they have a best ball thing, even more boring, where you just, you do a draft online.
Speaker 1
Right. Now, the only thing you need to know is you pick a full team.
It goes randomly, 12 people.
Speaker 1
And then you have a team and you play it over the year or over the season. Fine.
Fine. Boring? Yes.
Interesting? No.
Speaker 4 I'm not going to judge it yet.
Speaker 1 Yeah, not yet.
Speaker 1 So I say, oh, best ball, I'm going to try this one where you pick, and, you know, you join, it's 12 random people. So it's so early that it goes, it doesn't start right away.
Speaker 1
It goes, oh, you have three people out of 12. So you're in the waiting room.
And I'm like, well, when does it stop? So I check later
Speaker 1
and it's four out of 12. So I check later and it's the third round of the draft.
I'm like, oh, no, okay. I missed it.
Speaker 1 So
Speaker 1 you can put it on the speed of 30 seconds in between.
Speaker 1
which is kind of normal. It moves quickly.
You got to pick. No dilly dally.
Speaker 1
Or they go the slow one, which takes eight hours. And I said, I'll take an eight hour day because I missed two of these drafts.
I got in late.
Speaker 1
So I said, okay, I'm going to do one more, but I want to be there at the beginning. So if it goes slow, it takes 10 minutes.
I can figure it out.
Speaker 1 I don't get notified.
Speaker 4 I'm following. I'm following.
Speaker 1 You're sort of following.
Speaker 4 I mean, I haven't done this, but I get the gist.
Speaker 1 Go ahead. So I sign up.
Speaker 1
Not the fast one. I go to the slow one.
It doesn't even start. It's going to wait till the next morning.
They don't, they have like 11 out of 12. I'm like, oh, so it shuts off for the night.
Speaker 1
It wakes up. It says, you're drafting your first person in the first round.
I'm like, I got it. It's my turn.
I got it. I turn it on on my turn.
Okay. Great.
Speaker 1 Perfect. Draft my crafty fucking draft.
Speaker 1
Who am I going to get? Who? It's so crazy. What's he going to do? He zigs when you think he's going to zag.
So I pick a guy. I look later.
It says
Speaker 1
seven more minutes. I'm like, I've got to wait for this next guy to pick.
This is a slow one, you know.
Speaker 1 Anyway, I go to breakfast. I look, it says
Speaker 1
seven minutes. I go, is this broken? No, Dana.
What I wasn't realizing is it's seven hours.
Speaker 1
When it said eight-hour draft, it meant eight hours in between every effing pick. Wow.
So I was, I pick first and then I go 22 later because it goes backwards and snakes it.
Speaker 1
Anyway, my next pick could be at the beginning of the season because that's so much time. That's so much time.
So that was two days ago. We're right now in the ninth pick.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1 So
Speaker 1 when he wants from me, here's what you want from me.
Speaker 4 Are you losing money or going to give me?
Speaker 1 No, you're just here to be like baffled and shocked.
Speaker 4 I have a gambling story that's that's a lot simpler to understand.
Speaker 1 It's probably better because this one's already over and no one even knows why I told it.
Speaker 4 I think the people who are into fantasy football will be like, holy shit, man.
Speaker 1 Yeah, they're going to be like,
Speaker 1
you read it wrong. Right.
But no one can imagine it's that long. So
Speaker 4 for years, I'm playing the New Orleans Hotel
Speaker 1 in Vegas.
Speaker 4
Great showroom, 800 seats. And I guess he doesn't mind saying the name.
He's a friend of mine, Mark Pitta. He's my opening act, and he's really into sports.
And he's really into sports gambling.
Speaker 4
So a lot of weekends, I would kind of play around with it. Niners buy this.
I'd do the spread, really simple things, hand it to him. And I usually would lose or make nothing.
Speaker 4
You know, he would, he would obey my orders. Here's 500 bucks.
Here's my picks. And every single time he would do what I said.
Speaker 4 So the last time I had my whole thing and I said, here's the money. Maybe it was a
Speaker 1 $5,000.
Speaker 4 Here's my hunches.
Speaker 4 Just bet on those.
Speaker 1 And I saw all of them come true. I went, holy shit.
Speaker 1
Holy shit. You're going to be rich.
Ah.
Speaker 4
And then he came in. He goes, I switched it out in the last minute.
He bet on different things. But before that, he'd done everything perfect for me.
Speaker 1 It's so sick making, especially if you're a gambler. Okay,
Speaker 4
here's another 30-second one. I meant I'm playing Harris and Tahoe.
I'm doing slots. So I'm always putting in the max, you know?
Speaker 4
And then finally, finally, I was down to like 250 cent pieces. I don't know what it was.
And I hit it. And then I hit the jackpot.
Speaker 1 Ming, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.
Speaker 4 And I would have won like 10,000, but I won 2,000. And I'm in Harris,
Speaker 4 and I looked up, and there was a jewelry shop. So I took the money and just bought my wife a necklace.
Speaker 1 Oh, that's nice.
Speaker 1 That's like a story that's like, what a great guy you are.
Speaker 4 Let's get fan letters on which gambling story it was
Speaker 1 dumber.
Speaker 4 more accessible.
Speaker 1 Yeah, no, yours was going to really
Speaker 1 get the ire of gamblers that would that Pitta did not.
Speaker 4
By the way, I don't blame Mark Pitta. There was, you know, I mean, I don't know why he did it.
He'll hear this and text me.
Speaker 1 He was trying to help you, going, you don't know what you're doing.
Speaker 4
I'm going to help you. He was trying to help me.
So, and I didn't lose that much money, you know, the big picture. So, hi, Mark.
And that was my Mark Pitta story. So, I don't know.
Speaker 4
I've met Bobby Lee at the comedy store or whatever. Super nice guy, but I don't know him like you do.
So I don't really know what to expect with this interview.
Speaker 1 Well, I love Bobby Lee, and he's very well liked over there. And from the comedians, the audience, there's a couple of people that really get him going,
Speaker 1
meaning get the crowd going. Bobby's one of them.
He's on there a lot. I see his name on the store.
The store has really good lineups. So I did the comedy store a few nights before now.
Speaker 1
We're talking to him. So we'll talk about that.
And then there's just a lot of interesting things. He did a part in the wrong Missy.
He did a part in Bus Boys.
Speaker 1 So
Speaker 1 we just have a lot of stupid stuff to go over. And he's just, he's got a very fun thing about him.
Speaker 4 And a fun podcast with Andrew.
Speaker 1
And he's always on Instagram with some clip. Yeah.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
So, anyway. Let's see.
Here's Bobby Lee.
Speaker 4 Let's see what happens. Here's Bobby Lee.
Speaker 1 Do you do vocal exercises? What do you guys do do here on this? I've never done it before. He does
Speaker 1 two as his.
Speaker 1
How many podcasts have you done? One million? Dude, I did two yesterday, one Sunday. That's a lot.
Do you always get asked at the comedy store? Everyone asks me.
Speaker 1
I say no 90% of the time, but not for this one. Oh, my God.
This was like number one on my list here, baby. No, listen.
Oh, come on. I talked to you.
All right.
Speaker 4
I feel like. Smartless got the numbers.
What are you doing here?
Speaker 1
You know what I'm saying? Yeah, the office girls and then Smartless and now this. This is third.
Have you done those? I mean, mean, I know Jenna. No, I was never a part of the office.
Speaker 1 Have you done the office?
Speaker 1 I don't think so. Okay.
Speaker 4 Well, we had an office girl.
Speaker 1 We had Jenna on.
Speaker 4 We couldn't get two of them. We weren't big enough.
Speaker 4 We didn't have enough down.
Speaker 1 I like your Oasis-y hair. That's pretty nice.
Speaker 4 It's pretty cool, isn't it?
Speaker 1 Yeah, it's pretty cool.
Speaker 4 I'm from the 60s.
Speaker 4 My dad gave me a crew cut
Speaker 4 in 1965 when I wanted to have a Paul McCartney haircut.
Speaker 1
And I said, I'll show you when I'm 70. I'll look like an old beetle.
Ram, my favorite Paul McCartney album. The very first one.
Speaker 1
You know that one? Oh, yeah. I know all this.
Ram.
Speaker 1 That's all I know.
Speaker 4 I like his solo. I like his solo.
Speaker 1 Big fan of his.
Speaker 4 Every day I go out now.
Speaker 1 Get out of here. What about 1985? Is that on there?
Speaker 4 1985?
Speaker 1 I don't know what 1985. We can go back to the 60s.
Speaker 4 They're called the Beatles.
Speaker 1 Ever heard of them? Wait, what?
Speaker 4 You didn't even know Ringo played the drums when we interviewed McCartney.
Speaker 1 Was Mark Cartney?
Speaker 4 McCartney was not here, but it was on a Zoom.
Speaker 1 Oh, really? Did you get McCartney? What?
Speaker 4 Tiger Bell.
Speaker 1 Tiger Flex.
Speaker 1 Fuck you. Dana, you think that I could get McCartney? The biggest guy.
Speaker 1 You know what? Let me say something, right? The biggest guy, we got the guitarist from the Pixies,
Speaker 1
Joey Santiago. Sure.
Can we Google it? Yeah,
Speaker 1
go ahead. And then we got Paul Banks from Interpol, the lead singer.
Okay. But I can't go above that.
Speaker 4 Swing and a miss.
Speaker 1 I don't know.
Speaker 1 You got Burt Kreiser with his shirt on now.
Speaker 4 Theo Vaughn, have you gotten Theo Vaughn?
Speaker 1 Theo Cole.
Speaker 4 Okay, well, Theo's bigger than McCartney.
Speaker 1
Yeah, okay. In the world.
In certain worlds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 We're still trying to get Theo.
Speaker 1
Yeah, we've been on. No, we're waiting for Theo for the movie to come on.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, the movie.
How's that going? Oh, you're in the movie. What's going on? What else can you remember?
Speaker 1
That's right. You son of a bitch.
Yeah, I was in your movie. Did you get him where I was?
Speaker 4 Did he have a good show?
Speaker 1 He was good.
Speaker 1
No, he's good. It's such a good vibe when you come on.
I know you think I'm going to make fun of you. I'm not going to be a good one.
Everyone loves you.
Speaker 4 I think you're the most popular comedian.
Speaker 1 You're very popular.
Speaker 1
I am low. I know you can't handle these compliments.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? Yo, compliments are horrible.
Speaker 1
I go into my ancestry when I get compliments. Give you another compliment.
You're so good. I'm really liking.
Speaker 1 I just do that.
Speaker 4 You crushed at a comedy store.
Speaker 1 You've seen it?
Speaker 4 I thought I was going to get another.
Speaker 1 Okay, good.
Speaker 1 But you know what? I haven't had the kind of career. I've always wanted to have a career like you two.
Speaker 1 I just, I missed the Hollywood bubble.
Speaker 1 I had to get my fan base through the internet. Well, was it eight years on Mad TV? Mad TV, though.
Speaker 1 Well, admit it. When you were on SNL and you guys looked down on Mad TV.
Speaker 4 Yeah, but whoops, I didn't say that.
Speaker 4 Why would anyone say that?
Speaker 1
No, no, no. No, be honest.
When you looked at Mad TV as like, you know, your bitch. No, I saw a chart that said seven years on Mad TV is like six months on SNL.
And I think it sort of checked.
Speaker 1 No, I can't see. Hi.
Speaker 1 No, you did a a good job on Mad TV.
Speaker 1 Yeah, I remember
Speaker 1 a photo of the show. They were very funny.
Speaker 4 The sketches that Bobby Lee did on Mad TV. He played an agent character.
Speaker 1 He made 1,000 agent characters.
Speaker 4 He was the best at it.
Speaker 1 When you played Connie Chunk, can you do a little bit of it?
Speaker 1 Okay, can I just say something? Is that your signature?
Speaker 1 This is what happened.
Speaker 1 I didn't have an agent, and I called called my manager. You had an agent?
Speaker 1
Yeah, I called my dad, my agent. And he too worked at Gersh, but it was great.
But no, my, no, so I,
Speaker 1 what? Does he go, Bobby? I saw your acting. It's fucking hilarious.
Speaker 1 Okay, good. Anyway,
Speaker 1 so I called my manager and I go, how come I can't get an agent? He's like, you're an agent.
Speaker 1 It's hard. You know,
Speaker 1 late 90s. So then I go,
Speaker 1 well, can I get an audition? And she,
Speaker 1 am I boring you guys? No, for Ain Lemon Color.
Speaker 4 We're trying trying to play that TV, dude.
Speaker 1 We're trying not to talk over.
Speaker 4 We get a lot of criticism.
Speaker 1
I'm going, shut the fuck up and listen. Let me just finish my point here.
I want to hear it. So then I go, can I
Speaker 1
get an audition? And she goes, well, I do represent a lady by the name of Lauren Dombrowski. Oh.
Never heard of her? No. Okay.
Speaker 1 Trying to help your story.
Speaker 4 Billy Dombrowski, who is a shortstop fan.
Speaker 1
No watcher in the room. None other than Bill Squankmeyer.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
Let's go to the tape. Yeah.
Let's look at a clip. Anyway, and she goes, and she produces Mad.
Okay. So on a Saturday.
Mad, we call it. Go ahead.
Mad TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 And so on a Saturday, they said that you could do a practice audition with the casting director, but you're not going to get the show.
Speaker 1
So I went on a Saturday and I'm in my mind the night because they wanted three impressions. And I'm not an impressionist.
Right. So what can I do? I can do my dad.
So that's Kim Jong-il. That's funny.
Speaker 1 Hello, I'm Kim Jong-il.
Speaker 1 No one knows if that's right or or wrong.
Speaker 1 So that's what I did. So that's genius.
Speaker 4 Always say the name of the guy you're doing.
Speaker 4
It's 90% of it. It's 90% of it.
But that is a funny voice.
Speaker 1 Yeah, thank you so much. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Welcome to my show. You know, I did that.
Yeah. And they were like, yay, right.
So I just went. Wait, you did it with a talk show?
Speaker 1 I think I wrote it in a talk show entirely.
Speaker 1 And then the second audition was Connie Chung. And all I did was.
Speaker 1 90% and say that name Mori, Mori, oh, oh, you know what I mean? Because she was dating Maury at the time, maybe too sexual, but dating that.
Speaker 4 Yes, right in our way of like married 45 years. Favorite already, except that twist.
Speaker 1
So then I go, I just did, good evening. I'm Connie Chung.
That's not bad. Yeah, and I did sort of like a newscaster-y kind of thing.
Yeah. And the third one was
Speaker 1
Chow Chaoyun Fat. Chow Young.
Chow Young Fat. Who's that again? You know Chow Young Fat?
Speaker 4 Chow Young Fat? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 It's not a Chinese. It's not a name,
Speaker 1 what?
Speaker 4 No, it's like a Jackie Chan-type character.
Speaker 1
When you say Jackie Chan, you put your arms like that. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
Speaker 1
I don't know what we're doing. He's doing karate.
I know you want to do a hi-ya,
Speaker 1 but that's fucked up. Oh, like a Jackie Chan.
Speaker 4 Oh, I was doing karate chops.
Speaker 1 I didn't even know it. He goes, Bobby? And then he goes, No, I never thought that.
Speaker 1 This isn't racist. I'm an impressionist.
Speaker 4 The more you do a Chinese accent, I'm going to slip into it.
Speaker 1
Oh, okay. Oh, is that what it is? He's trying to keep influencing it.
He's trying to keep data.
Speaker 1 At the end of the show, he likes it so much.
Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 I love Bruce Lee.
Speaker 1 Chao Young Fat.
Speaker 1
So Chao Young Fat is a director. No, no.
He was in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Chow Young Fat was an actor.
He's a lead, okay. Right.
Speaker 1 So what I, I saw him on an E, you remember me back in in the E channel, an interview with him. And you know how sometimes Chinese people overpronounce their English?
Speaker 1 You like it already? Yeah. He'd go, hello, my name is Chaoyun Fat, you're right.
Speaker 1 And so I did that.
Speaker 1
And he did a lot of, every time he would say a line in this interview, he would do a different bodily position. So he would go, hello, my name is Chaoyun Fat.
And he would move his body.
Speaker 1 So I explained that in the audition, right? So every line, I would do a different position. But
Speaker 1
by the end of my little thing, I was in the corner of the room backwards on my hands at China and Fat because I thought that would be a funny benefit. It's hysterical.
It is.
Speaker 1
And it kind of worked, and they kept calling me back, and that's how I got it. You know what's funny? Tricky impressions like that.
Like you're not, I wasn't impressionist when I got on.
Speaker 1 And so I didn't even have to audition fake, you know, just make one up. But to have to do them and you come up with those three that are just funny in weird ways, you know,
Speaker 1 it is smart, though.
Speaker 1 He wants to say, I want to tell you a story about it related to what you just did.
Speaker 4
First of all, accuracy means nothing. Third of all, everything.
Or did I say second of all?
Speaker 4
All of those were funny. So Steve Corell comes in, auditions for the Dana Carvey show.
Whoops.
Speaker 1 Metaphor.
Speaker 4 You got an ashtray? Anyway, it made seven episodes.
Speaker 4 He goes, well, I don't really do impressions. So he was doing it in New York in the room with me and Lucy K, Robert Smeigel.
Speaker 4
Didn't kill. And then we go to L.A.
and audition people again. So he comes out and
Speaker 4 he does the Pope.
Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah. Just that was like, I didn't need an accuracy.
Speaker 1 Yeah, that was fucking up.
Speaker 4 So I'm not surprised you got hired.
Speaker 1 I think the point is to make everyone in the room be yourself and make everyone laugh. I mean, that's the point of it.
Speaker 4 What did you do with the nerves of it?
Speaker 1 Did you just not have nerves?
Speaker 1 Well, I had, so at the time, I was working living with eight people in a two-bedroom apartment in Silver Lake. Is that like sardines? What? At Carney's people? Is that kind of stereotypical?
Speaker 1 No, no, no.
Speaker 1
Go ahead. Eight people? I don't know what to do.
Go down this line of thinking. I just, I don't know.
I like this line of thinking.
Speaker 1
Hina, please. So, you know, we were in a ship.
Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 1
Right. I got an Asian Amistani kind of situation.
Is that what you're saying? Yes. No, no, no.
Speaker 1
So We Man, you know, from Jackass, The Little Dwarf. This is out of casting.
So We Man's there. Who else is? These people in this house is the real one.
We had Sophie, who was she was a meth addict.
Speaker 1
Okay. You mean, we had a homeless guy.
I'm not kidding you. We had an actor named Callisto, never made it.
Speaker 1
And then we had my brother Steve lived in my closet. He made it like a little bamboo.
We call all those people gay now.
Speaker 1 Yeah. So I was living with all these people in this, in the Silver Lake, Sanborn, on Street Sanborn, Silver Lake, and I had to get out.
Speaker 1 When you have no money,
Speaker 1
right? I had no car. And in my mind, I'm like, when you go into an audition, especially when you're desperate, you do everything you can.
I think that's what was my situation.
Speaker 1
I think they also underplayed it. They said, this is a practice audition.
And then you go to the real one. And you're like, so this isn't as much pressure.
So, yeah, so this is what happened.
Speaker 1
So the first time I I went in, thank you for dating. That's a good trick.
I mean, that's a good trick for you to relax.
Speaker 1
No, at first, they were like, We want Taryn Killam, sure, you know, Taryn, yeah, yeah, very well. Terran was on the park back then.
He was in high school,
Speaker 1 he was dating Amanda Bynes back then. You know, she's kind of
Speaker 1 and um,
Speaker 1 great, great actress, but
Speaker 1 very, we understood that, yeah, yeah, she did, went a little, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1 yeah,
Speaker 4 that's what you always say.
Speaker 4 Yeah, is that guy gay?
Speaker 4 It's a thing, right?
Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 Do you do that? Or I do a wink, maybe.
Speaker 4 What do you do?
Speaker 1 Yeah, is that guy
Speaker 1 better?
Speaker 1 I think I'm going to go whoo-hoo with the front. Yeah, I can't whistle, so I go, woo-hoo.
Speaker 1 Now listen, I'm fine with that.
Speaker 1 I had a guy talk to me in a bar, and I didn't know he's gay because he had a...
Speaker 1 He would always wink like it was a Twitch. So I go, you married? He goes, yeah.
Speaker 1 I go, but you like women? He goes, of course.
Speaker 1 And I go,
Speaker 1
it looks like she's flirting with you. I go, you don't want to get naked with me.
He goes, of course I don't. I go, that one was too big.
That wasn't a twist. That was a little too big.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah. And if I was a director, I would say, Cut, and I would say, maybe do it again.
I said, that's all I got. Okay.
Okay. Well, move on.
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Speaker 3 Hey, everybody, it's me, Bill Maher.
Speaker 3 If you're not watching or at least listening to Club Random, you're really missing something good and something unique because I don't think we look or sound like any other podcast.
Speaker 3 And that's by design. My life's quest has been to do some kind of show that captured the level of intimacy and the lack of artifice you would see if you saw me off camera talking to a friend.
Speaker 3
No one else in the room, plenty of pot and booze, and nothing planned. This is a show where I get high talking to someone I'm interested in to get to know and to laugh with.
It's not an interview.
Speaker 3 It's wild. And I'm having a ball, and the guests are having a ball, and you will too.
Speaker 3 So please follow Club Random with Bill Maher and see new episodes every Monday on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1
All right. Cold mornings, holiday plans, endless to-do lists.
I just want my wardrobe to be simple, Dana. I just want pieces that look sharp, feel amazing.
Speaker 4 Makes sense.
Speaker 1
And I'll use every day. You know what I mean? That's Quince.
That's it. The best part.
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Speaker 1
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Speaker 4
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Speaker 1
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Speaker 1 That's q-u-i-n-ce-e.com slash fly. Free shipping, 365-day returns.
Speaker 4 Quince.com slash fly.
Speaker 1 I went on a Saturday and the thing was, Nicole Garcia catch me and goes, you're not going to get it because I think they really want Taryn. They're going to see everybody, but let's just practice.
Speaker 1
And at the end of it, she goes, you know what? Come back next Saturday. Okay.
So I came back the next Saturday, no pressure. But the pressure started is when then then I started going during the week.
Speaker 1
Callbacks? And then people were there. Oh, sickening.
Yeah. But then at that point, I had already done it a couple of times.
She had to give me notes.
Speaker 1 And then it gets to a point where it's just between you and it was just between me and Taryn.
Speaker 1 So we're at Fox. You know what I mean? It's not like
Speaker 1 that.
Speaker 4
I'm a little confused with the numbers. But Bobby, what? Because Taryn was on SNL.
No, not yet.
Speaker 1 Before. Dana.
Speaker 4 Oh, that's what I mean. So it's 90 what?
Speaker 1 Sorry, Bobby.
Speaker 4 I'm a numbers guy.
Speaker 4 90 what?
Speaker 1 Wait, it was probably 2,000.
Speaker 4 2,000.
Speaker 1 Yes. He wasn't on yet.
Speaker 4 God, so he went there first.
Speaker 1 You said he was in on you.
Speaker 1
Let me ask you something. I'm sorry, David.
All right. Well, why would I lie about it?
Speaker 4 That was why I was so curious.
Speaker 1 My only comment is:
Speaker 1 why is Bobby making the sound?
Speaker 1 I could have said Gerard Butler.
Speaker 4 I mean, like, this is the first time I found out that Taryn Killiam is
Speaker 4
senior in high school, folks. I mean, he's just out of diapers right now, and he's almost on television.
But Bobby Lee beat him out at the final thing.
Speaker 1 So you're old enough to know Carson.
Speaker 4 That's rare these days.
Speaker 1
Huge fan. But listen to this.
Flip Wilson, I know, too. Okay, let's move on.
But great talent. The devil, Sugar.
Come on now, Sugar. The devil made me do it.
I'm going to take you down.
Speaker 1 Don't you disappoint your mama.
Speaker 1
Don't you discipline. I never met him.
He's doing love. Yeah.
You know what? I love your part in fucking.
Speaker 1 What's so funny? Why are you laughing?
Speaker 1 I had a part in something. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Yeah. You were in
Speaker 1
the redoing it, remaking it. Let me get it.
Okay. Yeah.
Speaker 1 About the band.
Speaker 1
Not Spinal Tap. Spinal Tap.
Oh, Spinal Tap. You were in Spinal Tap.
That was the music. My
Speaker 4 incredible. With
Speaker 1 Billy Crystal. Okay.
Speaker 1
Thank you. Was he not in it? He was.
No line. I wasn't in it.
No line. And yet I went, that's Dana Carvey.
Yep.
Speaker 4 How did you know? Because I was in White Face.
Speaker 1 Even.
Speaker 1 yeah. Can we cut tape?
Speaker 4 Not cool.
Speaker 1
Can we cut tape? Not cool. Yeah.
Can we just cut tape?
Speaker 1
Bobby, I'm going to go back to the story everyone kind of faded out on. Okay.
When you were auditioning for whatever show, and
Speaker 1 one of the scary things when I did like pilots and stuff like that is when you get to the final audition, you go in a room and you sign how much you will make on your contract. You sign everything.
Speaker 1
Yeah. So you can't get the part and then try to jack them for more.
Right, right. So you still need it.
So they've got you by the ball. So you sign it.
Speaker 1
That's a sweaty, sickening thing because then you go, if you come out of that room and you got it, you get this money. You got a deal.
If not, they rip it up. It's so horrifying.
Speaker 1 It's horrifying, especially when you're young and you have nothing. You have pressure.
Speaker 1
You have to accept what they do. You might get 10 grand, 30 grand.
So there was this girl. This is a real story.
There was, I can't say her name. Maybe I will.
Speaker 1
And Margaret. Maybe I will.
What?
Speaker 4 What? She's Scandinavian?
Speaker 4 Good night. That's all I got.
Speaker 1 Hey, maybe. Maybe I will.
Speaker 1
No, no, no. Okay.
So I remember, so we're about to test. There was another woman who I knew from the comedy store.
Speaker 1 She was, I ain't.
Speaker 1
And based on her, this is the way she talked. I'm not trying to get canceled here.
She's like, I ain't signed that in a fucking money. Oh, really? She was white.
What?
Speaker 1 Yes.
Speaker 1
She was white. She was definitely white.
She was in Mississippi. No, no, no, no.
She was from.
Speaker 1 No, she's from Madison, Wisconsin.
Speaker 1 She's like, hey, motherfucker.
Speaker 1 No, I can't.
Speaker 1 She goes, yo,
Speaker 1
I ain't signing that. And so what the deal was, was every episode you would get $3,500.
That's good. That's higher than we got.
Okay. On a TV show.
To me, it's everything. I go, I'll sign it.
Speaker 1 Of course. I mean, I'll do a half or whatever.
Speaker 1
She goes, I need 10 grand. That's what she said to me.
I go, well, I know, but no one knows who you are. For what, junkie?
Speaker 1 God damn it.
Speaker 1
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. She was a percocette.
Okay. Oh.
So, yeah. So
Speaker 1 she, I don't know, but
Speaker 1
she goes, I ain't doing it. I ain't testing.
So they tested me and Terran. So cut to 15 years later, I'm at a restaurant.
Okay.
Speaker 1
Go ahead. And I'm sitting there.
She's my waitress.
Speaker 1 And she. Her opening line was, I should have taken it.
Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. And she was all calmed down.
Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, she's not doing what's up, you know what I mean. Welcome to
Speaker 1 no, she was more like,
Speaker 1 Well, she goes, Yo, I, I, yo, I should have taken it, and you go, and I go.
Speaker 1 And so, what's the special? I think
Speaker 1 that's making me sad because that is the story of Hollywood.
Speaker 4
Yeah, more people, you know, even if you have a career, you have a lot of regrets, you know. Yeah, yeah, I remember Brad Pitt and Troy.
I turned it down,
Speaker 1 really,
Speaker 1 or it was ripped. Yeah, Brad Pitt came in with
Speaker 1 fancy hair. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 Have you, I mean, have you, I mean, I don't know this, but have you guys read? You obviously don't read anymore, but back in the day, did you read for things that you really wanted and not gotten?
Speaker 1 For sure.
Speaker 4 Amadeus. I tested for Amadeus.
Speaker 1 Oh, no, you would have been great for that.
Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. This is better.
Speaker 1 Yeah. I didn't know.
Speaker 4 I could barely talk.
Speaker 1 I just did for Moriarty. So Abrams got it.
Speaker 1 We would have been together.
Speaker 1 Moriarty.
Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 What did you audition for? You didn't get? He was a movie star at 21. Not Mori Arty.
Speaker 1 I didn't audition for Moriorarti.
Speaker 1 What was that? Somebody in Amadeus? Yeah, Amadeus. He played as an emphasis, the old man that was like bidder of that.
Speaker 4 I didn't see it. I read from Risky Business.
Speaker 1
You did? Yeah. Not Tom Cruise's part.
Yeah. Booger? Yeah.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 4 Really? I was 26. I was reading for 18 in those days.
Speaker 1 Wow.
Speaker 4 This is before life beat me up.
Speaker 1 Except you said, keep the camera back. Here you go.
Speaker 1
When I hear that music, I think I'd walk out my underpants. I wouldn't slide.
Yeah. And then they go, Tom slid.
And that's where we clean shit. You did.
Speaker 4 I saw your audition tape, and you clearly had a full load in your underpants.
Speaker 1
Most of my auditions I picked up. I stuck my underpants.
And then I go. Yeah, I go.
I can put pants on if you want.
Speaker 4 Your wiener was not doing anything, but you had a load in the back.
Speaker 1 And I go, that guy's pretty good.
Speaker 4 He should get the part.
Speaker 1
Bobby loves it. Yes, Tiffany.
I have some real questions.
Speaker 1 sorry about this guy i like
Speaker 1 this is a real show i don't like notes i yeah i'm just curious when was the first time you felt rich oh is that a real question yeah like i'll be like in podcasting okay so
Speaker 1 when we did you ever get rich in regular television you got rich during podcasting now rich can be whatever you always say like that you know we had to find what rich is so um you feel it feel rich i've always felt like i was drowning what's wrong david i was just looking at your $12 warder.
Speaker 1 I'm going, I don't know if you're feeling rich right now, but I understand what you're saying. I understand this.
Speaker 1 I was like, that's a great shirt. Is there a goodwill nearby? Because I want to get one.
Speaker 1 You know what Dave did to me once?
Speaker 1
I've told this story before. And I don't know if it's real, but in my mind, it's real.
Right.
Speaker 1 But I feel like the first time you ever talked to me.
Speaker 1 I hate it.
Speaker 1 You're going to hate the story.
Speaker 1 You're going to hate the story. And I've told it before.
Speaker 1 I don't think you've ever heard of it.
Speaker 4 I've never heard it. All right.
Speaker 1 But the first time you ever even paid attention to me
Speaker 1 I was wearing a Montclair jacket.
Speaker 1 I was wearing a
Speaker 1
wrap me. I was wearing a Montclair jacket.
It's right. Kind of jacket I think I have.
Yeah, that jacket that he has.
Speaker 4 Oh, it's a Richie Richard.
Speaker 1 It's a Richie jacket.
Speaker 1 He took his finger, right?
Speaker 1 At the conference store. And you know how the Montclair symbol? You took your finger, you wrapped your finger
Speaker 1 around
Speaker 1 the symbol, and you go, Someone's doing well.
Speaker 1 Someone's
Speaker 1
Someone's doing well. Someone's doing well.
Sorry. Someone's doing well.
And then from then on, you talk to me every day. And then I was like, Bobby,
Speaker 1
in the club. No.
Someone's doing well.
Speaker 1 I know. And then I stuck my finger in your ass and I go, don't tell anyone this part.
Speaker 1
Anyway, no, Bobby and I. Hi.
Good to see you. Bobby.
When did I start feeling?
Speaker 1
Oh, it doesn't matter. This is entertaining.
I know it's a good question. I want to tell you.
Speaker 4 I'm always curious that anyone transitioning
Speaker 4 from poverty to kind of like having a lot of extra money.
Speaker 1 When you told me you're transitioning, I didn't know you meant from poverty.
Speaker 1
That's why I did from poverty. Okay, go ahead.
So
Speaker 1 I always felt like I was drowning because I don't know if you guys were ever here where you would do weekends as a stand-up.
Speaker 1
And the club would go, listen, you know, we had a comp. You know what I mean? Right.
And in those days, even though you would make some money,
Speaker 1 you always felt like you were drowning.
Speaker 1 I think up until maybe seven years ago is when I felt like, or eight years ago, when I felt like when podcasting started is when I felt like, okay, well, I think I'm fine. You had enough money.
Speaker 1
And you're going to be doing this forever. Yeah, that's, that's a time when you go, I think I'm okay just doing this.
Cause I kept going, should I go back and bus boys? Wait, what could I even do?
Speaker 1
And then it takes a while to feel like, okay, I got enough. here.
I got enough of a base. In the beginning, I had no overhead.
Speaker 4 It was just. Did you ever call out a owner, a club owner on the split?
Speaker 4 did you i know what the split means explain split well i was supposed to get 35 of the door at this hippie dive the club uh very famous actually yeah um the other cafe
Speaker 4 pound someone played there yeah and it was packed two shows and i just was driving away my volkswagen but i'm gonna add some cash and i was like i don't think so so i went back oh i go guys Really?
Speaker 4
I mean, this doesn't seem right. And they immediately like butcher casting Sundays Kin.
It was like, we did it. We're sorry.
Speaker 1
Oh, wow. They broke down.
Oh, really? It's not us. It's not us.
I don't know. This is fucked up.
You got rat fuck.
Speaker 1
No, I got my money. No, I'm saying they rat fucked you.
They got it.
Speaker 4 Well, they were, they were not giving me 35% of the money.
Speaker 1 Was it before SNL?
Speaker 4 Yo, way before.
Speaker 1
Yeah, way before. Yeah.
Bananas in New Jersey. This is the sad.
So. Sounds like a pretty sad.
I want to hear this.
Speaker 1 What?
Speaker 1 No, that's where everyone goes.
Speaker 1
I had some shenanigans and bananas. Yeah.
Go ahead. So they gave me an offer, like a guarantee.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
And I just didn't do well. They thought I would do way better than I did.
I know tough shit.
Speaker 1 The old couple came up to me at the very end, and they were handing me this check shaky.
Speaker 1 So they went,
Speaker 1 like, like this, right? And they go, young man,
Speaker 1 I just asked for your information.
Speaker 1 If we give you this check, our business closes.
Speaker 1 And I go,
Speaker 1
excuse me? Wow. Yeah.
It's over.
Speaker 1
And I go, and I looked at it, so it was $10,000. Fuck yeah.
And I go,
Speaker 1 how much would I need to give you back
Speaker 1 for your business? And they go, five.
Speaker 1 So
Speaker 1
I had them rewrite it for five. Very nice of you.
And then
Speaker 1 the next
Speaker 1 talk was.
Speaker 4 I just figured they did it to every headline.
Speaker 1 Oh, baby.
Speaker 4 Yeah. Carrot Talk was there, really, five?
Speaker 1 No.
Speaker 1
Next time in the alley with just like this. Yeah, yeah.
But it was the first time.
Speaker 1 And also,
Speaker 1
it felt real. It felt like they had tears in their eyes.
They felt like really, you know, just down and out. I just couldn't do it.
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 I did cartoons in Utah for $600 for a week. And the lady goes, you got to stay on my couch.
Speaker 1
We don't have some highfalutin hotel. I'm like, so I did it because I was newer and I did it.
And then at the end, she goes, can I send it to you? And I was like,
Speaker 1 well,
Speaker 1
I kind of need it. Obviously, I've been eating out of your fucking mousetrap all week.
And so I go, yeah. And she never fucking sent it.
Wow.
Speaker 1 So I said she molested me.
Speaker 4 She did, but I played a club where they didn't pay you at the end. You would get it like
Speaker 4 a series of clubs up in Canada and Seattle, and you get paid like a month later. Because you would take all of them like that.
Speaker 1
I don't want to wait one week. We can't be day.
The improvs are good about it. Like, I used to do San Diego a lot, Irvine.
Improvs. Yeah.
End of the week. Sometimes give you a little bumper bonus.
Speaker 1
But I wasn't the draw. It was like I was just on a show that filled up.
I was middle. When I got on SNL, I was a middle.
Like, Dana was a high-flutin headliner. So
Speaker 4 when you go on, we can switch topics.
Speaker 1 Oh, you said to switch things.
Speaker 1 I mean, Dana, as soon as you hit SNL,
Speaker 1 that's it. Poverty, no more, right?
Speaker 4 Started out $4,500 an episode for the first season.
Speaker 4 But then that summer, all of a sudden, I was getting $25,000 to play at college.
Speaker 1
Jesus. If it's okay to bring up numbers.
In one year?
Speaker 1 In one season?
Speaker 4 One season. Well, the bitch was out heavy.
Speaker 1
Yeah, the church bitch. Yeah, church bitch.
Oh, the church.
Speaker 4 I drove to a gig in Connecticut, and for the only time it happened was Church Lay here tonight. Didn't say my name for the theater.
Speaker 1 Did you have to do the fucking garb and all that?
Speaker 4 Well, I was in it often. Yeah.
Speaker 1 I showed up in it. No, I didn't.
Speaker 4 I don't wear the dress unless they pay me a lot.
Speaker 1
Wow. Wow.
I haven't heard the word garb since Theo said, is that traditional garb? Do you mean bus boys? I'm like, what are you saying? I didn't even understand until I saw the daily.
Speaker 1 Theo always says something slightly different.
Speaker 1 I feel like you're wearing.
Speaker 1
How fast are I mean? Are you guys editing the movie? I'm sorry. I don't know.
No, no, we did bus boys. We talked about it too much, but we did it.
Speaker 1 We talked to Tim yesterday, Tim Dillon, who's got a big part in it.
Speaker 1 He goes, hi, what's going on?
Speaker 1 He goes, is a clip going to come out? Is a photo something that we can just say we're in a movie? Can I just ask?
Speaker 1 Ask whatever you're doing. Can I just ask,
Speaker 1 how are you feeling about it? I think it's...
Speaker 1
I think it's funny. I think what we did was funny.
And it's just a matter of, I've never
Speaker 1
had no help. Like, it's just me and Theo.
So we have him and we have another guy that put in a little bit bit of money, but he's one of Theo's buddies. So we are,
Speaker 1
once the movie's over, we both go on the road. So now I would usually go have someone edit it and then go sit with him.
If I even had that privilege, not all movies, I do. Not many people do.
Speaker 1
You go in there and you go, hey, do this, and you go through the takes. It's arduous, long, painstaking work.
Me and Theo aren't in the same spot, and the editor's in New York. So
Speaker 1
they did a director's cut. Then we looked at it.
Now we're trying to shape. There's no special effects.
So Theo is on the road. So now we got him involved.
So he's got to do his. I do mine.
Speaker 1 We go back and forth.
Speaker 1
Then we're going to show it to people. We're almost at that part.
Okay. We heard the story.
Wake up. Grandpa.
Speaker 1 I do need a nine.
Speaker 1
I'm the senior here. I space out.
I owe it to Bobby because he's in it. And so he drove all the way.
We were in the valley. One scene.
On time.
Speaker 4 Well, I think it was a good move when you hit, well, here's we're going to shoot the movie here. Now, now we're both going to go on a global tour for this.
Speaker 1 That's so dumb. And then come back.
Speaker 1 Well, he hasn't done a movie.
Speaker 1 movie i and i said we should be in the same room yeah and he's like well i got to do this and he's got his own podcast so we're getting closer it's just slower in it meanwhile i did that jonah hill movie a year ago that's not going to be out till end of the year probably and so it was a full year already yeah but this should go faster because it's smaller that was a bigger well bobby and i'll put your name in there we're available to put some eyes on it yeah i know i want to show it
Speaker 1 I would show it to you guys just to say, what do you think? Does it make sense? We just want to show it in front of a crowd of 20 people to say,
Speaker 1 what do you not understand? What do you like? What do you don't like? And then listen, it's not fucking.
Speaker 1 Can I talk to you guys about something
Speaker 1 controversial, a little confrontational?
Speaker 1 Why are your eyes like this? I don't like it already.
Speaker 1 It has nothing to do with you. Okay, good.
Speaker 4 No, go ahead.
Speaker 4 You're setting this up beautifully.
Speaker 1
Okay, it has nothing to do with either one of you, but you guys are a part of it. Adjacent.
Adjacent to it. Okay.
All right.
Speaker 4 I want to hear. And so
Speaker 1
don't. Because it's a long wind-up.
Go ahead. It's a good wind-up.
Go ahead. Okay, you don't like it.
No, I like it. So, let me ask you something.
May I lean forward? Yes.
Speaker 1
Don't break that $3 table. Okay, I won't.
May I lean forward a little bit.
Speaker 4 The Kmart cameras have autofocus. Okay.
Speaker 1 For you to lean forward, we have to have eight people jump up. Okay.
Speaker 1
So I just, and you weren't there. You weren't there, Dana.
All right. Okay.
But okay.
Speaker 1 So let me ask you about the wrong Missy. Oh, boy.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1
Did I that day? Yes. Uh-oh.
Okay. That day,
Speaker 1 did I do a bad job?
Speaker 1 That's a great question.
Speaker 1 No.
Speaker 1 Bobby. Okay.
Speaker 1 Because in my mind,
Speaker 1
ask my friend Sadie. Hi, Sadie.
Yeah. Sometimes
Speaker 1 I lay in bed at night.
Speaker 1
No, just hear what I'm fucking saying. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 I'm the same.
Speaker 1 I understand. You understand? Regret.
Speaker 4 Regret. I didn't do it right.
Speaker 1
Yeah, did I do it right or not really? Yeah. And you know what? That's what I like about it.
He gets it.
Speaker 4 No, I totally get it.
Speaker 1 You're with me.
Speaker 4 Yeah, he doesn't really care about the outcome.
Speaker 1
So he kind of just. I've bombed in movies before.
But I don't think I bombed. That's the thing.
Oh, you don't think that?
Speaker 1 No, this is...
Speaker 1 Let me.
Speaker 1
I'll tell my side of the story. It is warm in here.
No, the story is Dana. I'll tell Dana because he's in a story.
He did 800 billion. The movie was a big a big movie Smash.
Okay. The best thing.
Speaker 1 Do people know you were?
Speaker 4 So your part was cut out. Is that what you said? No, no, no.
Speaker 1
Can I tell Dana what happened? Yeah. Yeah.
All right.
Speaker 1 So, um,
Speaker 1
David asked me to do the wrong busy. Was it me or was Adam? It was you.
Okay. Okay.
All right. I had no idea even if he was going to fucking be there.
I did. That was okay.
That's a big part of it.
Speaker 1 Also, FYI, I'm in
Speaker 1 Happy Madison Gilmore 2. You are?
Speaker 1 okay.
Speaker 1 So
Speaker 1 not only that, you know, I've worked with
Speaker 1
Adam Sandler. Yeah.
Yeah. He's,
Speaker 1 I don't want you to hear the story, Sadie, but
Speaker 1
a year and a half ago, I was with a lady in Malibu, right? You're with who? I was with a lady in Malibu. I was holding hands with her.
I'm sorry. Yeah.
And Sandler walks up. And
Speaker 1 he gave me a layup.
Speaker 1
Sandler and I are like this. He gave you a layup and he was very nice.
and very nice. And I got some toot toots.
You know what I mean? You know what I mean? That night, excuse me. Yeah.
Speaker 1 But there was some
Speaker 1
from this other woman that's not here today. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I got it. Yeah, yeah, you get what I'm saying.
I'm sweating. I'm so sorry.
Okay.
Speaker 1 What I'm saying to you is this: I'll tell you what happened.
Speaker 1 So he calls me, can you do one line in Hawaii? No, you didn't do that? Go to Hawaii and do one line? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 I think one line was for sure not enough for you, and it was a straight line, and it was just everyone's excitement to have you in in the movie.
Speaker 1
And we should have said, We got to give Bobby more of a Bobby thing to do. That's funny, where you can really get into it because that was the problem.
Go ahead, God bless you and take care of him.
Speaker 1
Okay, and that's okay, okay. So I go there, Dana.
Okay, let me just tell Dana.
Speaker 4 I want to hear this.
Speaker 1 All right, so Dana, I go, right?
Speaker 1
The line is like, Welcome to Alawani Hotel or whatever the fucking line is. That's the line is.
Mr. and Mrs.
Tim Morris. Yeah, Mr.
and Mrs. Tim Morris.
Welcome to Alawani. You just did it better.
Speaker 1 What? You just did it better. Okay.
Speaker 1 I
Speaker 1
Fuck you, David. You know what? I'm sweating.
I know. I'm sweating too because I'm part of the problem.
Okay, so here's the thing.
Speaker 1
What is going on? I'll tell you what's going on. Okay, okay.
All right, so I'm on set, feeling good. It's outside.
You know what I mean? Hawaii. From Hawaii, right? Yeah.
Speaker 1
Not only Hawaii, but Witowski, Lauren, everyone on the set is a friend of mine. Right.
All right.
Speaker 1
Action. You know what I mean? Hello, Mr.
Into. I'm not going to do the line, okay? Right.
Welcome to all the one, one, right? Then I hear, stop
Speaker 1 from
Speaker 1
Radio Village. Yeah, it's Sandler.
Who never comes there? Who never comes.
Speaker 1
Yeah, he's not even, he's not. He doesn't never come, but he was just there.
He was just there. Well, what?
Speaker 4 Okay, then finished one line and he jumps up.
Speaker 1 Wait, he comes up, comes up, and he goes, hey, what are you doing?
Speaker 1 And I go, oh, hey,
Speaker 1 Adam.
Speaker 1 He goes, what are you doing?
Speaker 1 Not how are you doing? What are you doing?
Speaker 1 What are you doing?
Speaker 1 Yeah, your end.
Speaker 1
He goes, yeah, it's more natural. More natural or something.
Right.
Speaker 1 So I go, oh, I thought, okay.
Speaker 1
Action again. I do it again.
Stop. He comes back.
Right.
Speaker 1 Why are you coming up? This can't be true.
Speaker 1
Now me and Lauren start laughing because it's so tense and weird. And Adam wasn't being mean.
It was just
Speaker 1
it got tense because Bobby kept nervously missing it by a hair and then they go stop more like they stop again. I go, okay, on this one, just normal.
Just
Speaker 1 hear them yelling it.
Speaker 1 And we all start going, oh my God, because everyone's so like tired. No, but also Sandler's kids are in the scene.
Speaker 1
Oh, I'm making it work. Yeah, making it work.
The whole family's shaming. That's why he's it.
He didn't want this scene. Yeah, he did a family movie.
Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 1 So everyone's very nice, but Adam was just like, just say it straight. And then it was so matter of fact.
Speaker 1 And that's why we started laughing because we're like, every time you said it, I'm like, is that the one? And it was like, nope. Because then he comes out and goes, Hey,
Speaker 1 what are you doing?
Speaker 1 Again, he goes, just try one.
Speaker 1 Okay, check this out now, right? So hilarious. Hawaii outside, right? Yeah.
Speaker 1
It's Niagara Falls now. All the makeup is drugged up.
You know, I am having a panic attack, right? Because in my mind, I'm like, I'm fucking, you know, Daniel Day-Lewising this thing.
Speaker 4 What is the line again?
Speaker 1 I just want to, I want to walk through this.
Speaker 1 What is the fucking line? We come in the hotel. What is it?
Speaker 1
What is the line? Wait a wait, hold on, hold on. Literally.
Hold on, hold on.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I don't even know what the line is. Hello, Mr.
Tim and Tim Robinson.
Speaker 4 Let me just make it up. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Let me just make it up. Me and Lauren walk up.
Speaker 1 Hello, Mr. Tim and Tim.
Speaker 4 You be Lauren, I'll be you.
Speaker 1
The Robinson. Hello, Robinson.
The Robinsons. Hi, welcome to Allolawali Hotel.
Speaker 1 Yeah, here's your registration.
Speaker 4 Perfect.
Speaker 1 That's what I did. Where were were you? Where were you?
Speaker 1
So we go in and Lauren argues with the kids first. They go like this.
You were out there swimming with the turtles. She goes, gay, fuck you, to Adam's kids.
That was her line.
Speaker 1
It was hysterical because she's screaming. Then we, aha ha.
We walk up and we're with
Speaker 1 Witowski and Sarah and they're in robes and we all come up to Bobby. And I'm telling you in your defense, one line is harder than...
Speaker 1 Doing a whole scene. Because what happens when you're doing one line? Because all you do is focus on one scene.
Speaker 1 Because the whole time when you're watching the scene, all you're doing is thinking about that one line and you're running it through your mind 10,000 times. Welcome to the hotel.
Speaker 1 Welcome to the hotel.
Speaker 1
Mr. Russell, Mr.
Russell. And you're like, tortured in there.
Torture. Yeah.
Speaker 4 But don't you, didn't you ask for a line reading? I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 But didn't you ask me? That's so embarrassing. You've asked for that.
Speaker 4 Oh, I do. How do you want me to say it? Just say it.
Speaker 4 Just tell me how.
Speaker 1
He did do it. Oh, okay.
But at one point, I remember David going this because Adam's talking to me like this, but I see David.
Speaker 1
Behind Adam. Behind Adam.
And this is where you go. You go like this.
You go.
Speaker 1 Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 4 Yeah.
Speaker 1 I was
Speaker 1 worried about it.
Speaker 1
Yeah, you felt, you know, and that's what there was so much love. Now we're friends.
Yeah, yeah. There was so much love there.
But check, here's the good news. Okay.
Speaker 4 Can I hear the good news? I want to hear the happiness now.
Speaker 1
So when I'm wrapped, right, I went to myself. I go, how high up is this hotel so I can jump off? You know what I mean? No, there was like suicide.
You know what I mean? Yeah, right.
Speaker 1
Or maybe I'll relapse. I was sober at the time.
You know what I mean? So maybe, you know, seven years is really, I could relapse. All reasonable reasonable thoughts.
Speaker 1 Yeah, there were so many different thoughts in my mind.
Speaker 4 Welcome to the Iwani Hotel. May I help you?
Speaker 1 I mean, fuck, where were you? Yeah, yeah, where were you? You could have died.
Speaker 4
You're drenched in sweat. All the makeup's tearing down.
Yeah, yeah. He's going, I'm so sorry.
Yeah, yeah. That's better than anything in the movie.
Speaker 1 That's the most dramatic audience thing.
Speaker 1 Right. That is.
Speaker 1
Here's the good news. There's more good news.
All right.
Speaker 1 It gets good. Yeah.
Speaker 1 So then I go to the hotel, the Aloha Halani Hotel. Which is not the name because it's not, never, I never, never heard of
Speaker 1
okay. Whatever the fucking name is.
Yeah, you're just putting a bunch of just yes and it, vowels. Just yes, and it's okay.
All right,
Speaker 4 he's being so extra.
Speaker 1 What is wrong with you? No, I love you.
Speaker 1 I love you so much.
Speaker 1
Right. So I feel for him.
Go ahead. So now, here's the good news, Dana.
Okay. I'm at
Speaker 1 there's a wonton bar.
Speaker 1 All they have is wontons. Is that all you eat?
Speaker 1 He has an app for it.
Speaker 1 So you go to a wonton. It's a dramatic pause.
Speaker 1 Sorry, Blondie.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1 Skinny.
Speaker 1 It's okay.
Speaker 1
Take it easy, skinny. Oh, damn it.
Do you want to take a break? Out of nowhere? No, I'm fine. Out of nowhere.
Speaker 1 Anyway. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 So I'm at this wonton bar.
Speaker 1 Can I have some wontons, please?
Speaker 1
Right. They gave me a bowl of wontons, right? And I don't even want to eat them.
Like, I'm just so sad.
Speaker 1 So there's another Korean guy next to me.
Speaker 1 What? Hello? I thought that's what he said to you.
Speaker 1 That's what he goes, ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 Yeah, because he's eating wontons. No, so, no.
Speaker 4 He was in the scene previous to you.
Speaker 1
And he had one line. Yeah, yeah.
Okay, go ahead. So he goes, hey,
Speaker 1
I go, hey. And he was sitting next to a guy I was familiar with.
His name is Zach Knighton. He's an actor.
Speaker 1
And back when I was on Mad TV, what are you doing here next time? I think, is this not the night we went to dinner at Nobu? No, it wasn't. Okay.
Okay. We've been to many Nobu's, though.
In Hawaii.
Speaker 1
Yes. And you remember we went to dinner? Yes.
And someone came and talked to us. Yes.
Okay.
Speaker 1
It's not that. Okay.
Okay.
Speaker 1 So anyway,
Speaker 1 so Zach Knighton's sitting, so this Asian guy looks just like me, too.
Speaker 1
Big-headed Koreans. And we're the best kind.
Yep.
Speaker 1
I'm not going to coach out. I don't want to argue this, though.
Because you have the Stephen Yoon Koreans. You know what I mean? Like, leading man.
Speaker 1 But then you get the big-headed, and we're the coal miners of the business.
Speaker 1
Coal miner? That's funny. Yeah, yeah.
Like, in Korea, I think I would have been a coal miner.
Speaker 4 Is this part of your stand-up?
Speaker 1 No, that's not my life.
Speaker 1 It should be. No, it was not.
Speaker 1
Anyway, so he was a big-headed Korean. Okay.
And he goes, hey, my name is Gene. I go, I met you, which I didn't remember.
He goes, I met you at Earth Bar and you were talking about my genes.
Speaker 1
I'm really big into raw denim. Let's move on.
And I go, oh, and he goes, I'm the executive producer of Magnum PI.
Speaker 1
That's what he says to me. So I go, oh, and he goes, let me write you a part.
Right.
Speaker 1
So I go, there's no more than one line. Yeah.
He goes, he wrote me. Over the next three or four years.
Oh, that's right. I did 15 episodes of the thing.
He wrote me
Speaker 1
like I was number one on the call sheet, like storylines. It was the, he's my best friend now, Gene, right? We hang out.
You've met Gene. We've gone to Hawaii together.
Speaker 1
I mean, he is one of my best friends. I would have never met him if I hadn't done the wrong mistake with that nightmare that you put me through.
Okay. And,
Speaker 1 you know, and so, you know, the moral of the story is this.
Speaker 1 Sometimes when you say yes, right,
Speaker 1
great things can happen. Yeah.
Sometimes no means yes. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Is that it? No, that
Speaker 4 I don't think that's what. Sometimes Sometimes you lose for winning.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1
Sometimes you win for losing, but sometimes you lose for winning. Sometimes, you know, you don't know why you're somewhere.
Something's happened for a reason.
Speaker 1 There we go.
Speaker 1 It's all in God's hands.
Speaker 1
Yeah. I think that's better.
Yeah, yeah. It's all in God's hands.
I'm as close. You're pretty close.
Something's happening.
Speaker 1 But
Speaker 1 that experience, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 And
Speaker 1 just want to reiterate that, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1
Adam and his whole family has been very gracious to me. Yeah.
And I love them very much. And I am in happy
Speaker 1
Madison one or two. Yeah.
Yeah.
Speaker 4 And I know Sandler,
Speaker 4 he would have been very gentle, almost whispery about it.
Speaker 1
He was very gentle about it. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
He just pictures it in his head a certain way. And there's I get it.
And
Speaker 1
when I did my wig for grown-ups, I walked in so excited, long wig, and everyone was thinking it's so funny the way that we got there. And he he said, It's coffee, same thing.
And he goes,
Speaker 1
Is this a wig you want? And I go, yeah. And he goes, I don't like it.
And it was like, what? I go, isn't this funny? Because I have a guy like this long hair. He thinks he's right.
He does.
Speaker 1
From the 80s. And he goes, no, no, I shorten it.
And I go back and cut it and cut it. And we kept doing it until it was basically where it was.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1
You're supposed to be a good looking guy. I don't want that long.
I was okay.
Speaker 1
But in his head, he pictures it. And it's his movie.
And that's... That's the fun thing.
I mean, that's the good about at least you need someone calling the shot.
Speaker 4
And he's casual as a person when he's the executive producer. He'll be laying on a couch, have a leg of turkey, and people come in.
Oh, I don't think so.
Speaker 1 He is a good decision.
Speaker 1 He's very decisive.
Speaker 4 He's very casual, but decisive.
Speaker 1 I'm not decisive. So I would, I actually thought you were doing fine.
Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, he's the nice person.
Speaker 1 I just wanted to share that story with you.
Speaker 1 And I've never confronted you about.
Speaker 1 Did you think the actual performance
Speaker 1 was bad? And what you were saying to me, what I got was, it could have been better. No, I got that.
Speaker 1 It was a little nerve-wracking to hit you with all of us do a whole scene and we come up and you just have to say one line and get us out of it.
Speaker 1 And we get all the way to that part and it would stop again.
Speaker 1 It was another good point: is that when you guys were all jumping around having fun, and you know, you know that I'm a goofy guy,
Speaker 1 right? I'm silly billy, baby. Sure, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 You had to play straight, man. Yeah.
Speaker 1 And whenever I had to play something straight,
Speaker 1 it feels like I'm being, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 You're tied down.
Speaker 4 I'm sorry. What point in the movie did that was that about? Was it 30 or 40 minutes in? Yeah.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 4 So I think I only, oh, never mind.
Speaker 1 Oh, you switched it off at 15.
Speaker 4 No, I'm just,
Speaker 1 forget what I just said. There was a certain point, I just.
Speaker 4 Do you watch
Speaker 1 each other's stuff or no? I think so. I've seen most pretty much.
Speaker 4
I saw Joe Dirt. I saw Grown-Ups.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 4 Grown-ups too didn't quite do it for me. But
Speaker 4 I think I've seen most of your stuff.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah.
And I've seen, I was there for five years overlapping with them on SNL. So I saw him.
Speaker 4 Yeah, we worked for five years.
Speaker 1 I saw him kill from like 10 feet away.
Speaker 4 Hey, David, when it comes to gifting, you know, I've learned there are two types of presents.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 4 The ones that get returned and the ones that instantly become a favorite.
Speaker 1 Do you agree? Yeah, that's Jenny Berg jewelry definitely falls in the second category.
Speaker 1
These designs, as you know, are very modern. They're timeless.
Always feel special.
Speaker 4 Oh, isn't that special?
Speaker 1
That makes them my secret weapon when I want to give a gift that really, you know, lands. That's why Jenny Bird makes it easy.
The packaging is beautiful.
Speaker 1
It's very thoughtful. The pieces are comfy enough to wear every day.
Yep. And they ship fast.
That's
Speaker 1 perfect if you're a last-minute shopper like me.
Speaker 4
That's right. I mean, I just want to do this when I hear that.
Way to go.
Speaker 1 Way to go.
Speaker 4 And because the styles are so versatile, they always make an outfit feel pulled together, David. Without trying too hard, David, not talking about you.
Speaker 4 Some of my wife's go-tos are the best-selling Florence earrings, which I always get compliments, and the Remy Bengal, lightweight, water-resistant, and just as good stacked as it is on its own.
Speaker 4 These are the gifts you'll actually want to keep.
Speaker 1 And you can get 20% off your first order with Jenny Bird by visiting jenny-bird.com and using code F-O-T-W at checkout. This time of year, cozy feels like the ultimate luxury.
Speaker 1 And Bombas is making it easy to get there. From socks to slippers to tees, every piece is designed to make you feel instantly at home.
Speaker 1
I got to say, there's something almost magical about the fresh Bombas socks. And it doesn't stop there.
Their slippers have the perfect sink in cushioning. Their tees feel substantial and comforting.
Speaker 1 And all of it keeps that cozy feeling going day after day. I got the socks right here, actually.
Speaker 4 Gift giving, David, has never been simpler.
Speaker 4 Either running socks for the marathon or soft and snug baby socks for the tiniest toes, slippers or tees for literally anyone on your list, even your mom's new ski lodge friend.
Speaker 4 Bombus has something for every foot, every style, every occasion.
Speaker 1 And here's the part I love most. For every item you buy, Bombas donates one to someone facing homelessness.
Speaker 1 So when you treat yourself or someone else to cozy, you're spreading that warmth far beyond your own home. Head over to bombas.com/slash flywall and use code flywall for 20% off your first purchase.
Speaker 1 That's bombas.com slash flywall. Code flywall at checkout.
Speaker 1 Did you guys get along instantly or was there competitiveness?
Speaker 1
No, the sad part was no one was competitive with me because I wasn't competing with them really. So they were like nice to me.
And I'm like, I should have been offended.
Speaker 1 Because I wasn't a threat to anyone.
Speaker 1
That's rude. Oh, yeah.
You know what I mean? Like you see a comic and you go, yeah, you can go before me. Yeah.
And they go, I won't curse. And you go, do whatever you want, dude.
I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1
Oh, right. I can follow you.
Put it this way.
Speaker 4
I used to call him the junior varsity. And Dennis would come in, Dennis Miller, and they would bag him.
It would be, you know, you and Rock and Farley in the
Speaker 4
dressing room. They were sharing an 8H.
And Dennis would just rip everyone spuddingly. Okay.
The Carvey thing's not working right now or whatever. He'd go one at a time.
Speaker 4 But the junior varsity, when you look at them, Sandler, Chris rock what's your name again yeah
Speaker 4 did very well but they were sort of quasi understudies of me and phil and john right nealan in a way and then we messed really well and i think i've said this before i think 90 to 93 where we had these guys plus we still had the guys from 86 there yeah that was we were very potent what a powerful group yeah because when you read um i read life from new york right and you read some of the nightmarish stories that are in it right
Speaker 1 was were those elements in your class? Probably not then, because it felt like a healthy ape. No, they were all there.
Speaker 1 There was tension and competitiveness and all that stuff. For sure, for sure.
Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, but in a friendly way, Lovitz and I decided to make a joke out of it, so we just teased each other the entire time.
Speaker 4 The idea of being envious, I would say I was in three sketches tonight, stuff like that. And John, of course, loved it.
Speaker 1 He leaves too many voicemails, and I don't know what to do. He loves you.
Speaker 4 Is he stalking you?
Speaker 1
No, but he leaves so many voicemails. Hello.
Hello. And he pretends, you know, why do you have to be so Chinese? And
Speaker 1 he's kind of, you know what I mean? Yeah, which is not everyone's mind. No, but he loves
Speaker 1 comedians.
Speaker 4 He needs to foul stuff behind the scenes.
Speaker 1
Yeah, because we try to shock him. He's so funny.
Yeah. So anyway, I love the man.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 So there was teasing and stuff. Yeah, teasing.
Speaker 4 Phil Hartman, you couldn't compete. There was no competition because Phil was such a savant that he was reading other things in the magazines about motorboats and stuff.
Speaker 4
And then they'd call him in. He had 10 sketches and he just hit it perfect.
And you go back, and then he'd paint.
Speaker 1 He was the only one pretty much relaxed at the whole place.
Speaker 4
Well, he was, he'd done 20 years, like 15 years at Groundlands. He was like a superstar at Groundlands.
And he had a good life. He didn't really even care if he got on SNL.
He came in as a writer.
Speaker 1 And he worked with Peby Herman on
Speaker 1
Paul Bray Adventure. Yeah, he co-wrote that book.
Oh, yeah, Paul, yeah, yeah. Paging Mr.
Herman. That's how you did your part.
Paging Mr. Herman.
Did you see that part of the movie?
Speaker 1 Do you know who Pee Wee Herman is? Yeah, Paul Ruins. Okay.
Speaker 1 All right.
Speaker 1
I have a few questions before we got to get rid of you. Hold on.
Okay. How long does this go? I mean, we don't.
We don't even, we're not like you guys. How long do you do? Three hours.
Speaker 1
We're not Rogan. How long do you do? We do about 45, maybe an hour.
Okay. How long is it so far? 45.
There's no way it's 45 already. Is it?
Speaker 1
Is that 50 minutes already? Yeah. Okay.
That's fun. Seekers are having fun.
Well, I want to keep going. Yeah.
And drive all the time. Okay, I have a question for you.
Speaker 1
It's easy. I have three questions.
First of all, when we were, sometimes we're on the same show. We had a good lineup the other night at the comedy store.
Speaker 1
Didn't we? Were you the on? Well, give it the line. No, what was it? Did you say, was I on it? No, what was it? I'm just saying.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You and I were, yo, they'll take a photo of it.
Speaker 1
Yeah, they took a photo of us. Check your diary.
Okay.
Speaker 1
Yeah, so my diary. Yeah.
Today, David half-hugged me and then rubbed his fingers all over my Montclair.
Speaker 1
So I think that it was fun the other night because I see you there about once every two weeks in the comedy store. It was Whitney, maybe Tim Dylan.
Like sometimes they have a great lineup.
Speaker 1
It's fun to watch. Yeah.
Okay. That was one not question.
Speaker 1 Oh, you know what? Yeah. Because
Speaker 1 I,
Speaker 1
because when I was leaving, I sat and watched you. And A, you had new stuff.
Yeah. You always say you don't have new stuff.
You have new stuff. Well, I'm doing special, so I have to get crank it out.
Speaker 1 Oh, when is your special? It's January. I have to stress out.
Speaker 4 What platform? Hulu.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1 Hulu.
Speaker 1
Some people have Hulu. All right.
Listen. No, you can get it.
Speaker 4 I'm just thinking, you're stressed out. I mean, do you understand that you're Bobby Lee? Do you get
Speaker 4 it? Do you understand you're famous?
Speaker 1 I don't.
Speaker 4
I'm not. I just want to say that.
Number one, I'm not.
Speaker 1 Number one, I'm not. That's
Speaker 1 part of your charm.
Speaker 1 Can I tell you? Can I lean forward again? Yeah.
Speaker 1 Whenever you say stuff like that, I get kind of emotional and stuff. All right.
Speaker 1
There's two types of different kinds of fame. Yeah.
Can we at least agree with that? Yeah. Everyone in the room.
Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 1
I'm going to explain it to you. Yeah.
Well, but I'm not agreeing yet. What? I'm not agreeing yet.
You're not agreeing yet.
Speaker 1
And may I explain it to you gently? Yes. Okay.
Gently. So there's two types of fame, okay? There's Hollywood fame, right? Where
Speaker 1 the type you have.
Speaker 1 And
Speaker 1 whatever you were doing earlier.
Speaker 4 Yeah.
Speaker 1 Podcasting. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 And then there's internet fame.
Speaker 1
I think I'm in sort of in the middle there. I think I've kind of gone back and forth.
I'm sort of TV from the past. But me and Andrew Santino, my other podcast, Bad Friends, check it out.
Speaker 1 Very good podcast.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1
I did Bad Friends. I love it.
Yeah, it's great.
Speaker 1
Yeah. So bad, so me and Andrew complain a lot about because we came to LA in the, you know, I mean, early 2000s, 90s, right.
And we still have dreams of doing Hollywood.
Speaker 1 And because, you know, we do internet as well, it doesn't feel like our dreams
Speaker 1 were accomplished, but they have been. And it's done.
Speaker 1 In fact, we're almost better off having our own thing and control. Yeah.
Speaker 1 So it's just, it's, I guess, thank you all. I know what you're saying.
Speaker 4
By the way, Burt Kreisner said the exact same thing on this pod. Did he really? Essentially the same thing.
Yeah, yeah. And just that, your age group and the romance of that.
Speaker 1
And some people don't want to, they used to go, come here to do stand-up to get a sitcom or a movie. And now people go, come here to stand-up and just do stand-up the rest of your life.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
No one's even trying to get those other things. And it's not as much money and not as maybe what it was.
There's not as many. so
Speaker 1 when you're driving down the road and you're like you see the billboard zippy the king that's i don't know how he's getting it up yeah zippy the king right and some guy you know some open micro guy that you did back in the day is like zipping out right yeah yeah and he's zipping through the sky you know i mean and you're you're like and you go oh
Speaker 4 i don't want to be a zip guy that's fun that's all i think this is so much better also you're doing great although there was excitement being on the tonight show with the pressure
Speaker 1 i did let but anyway let's move on and it would be a game change
Speaker 4
our next game change you know barbie leads said, I've been at the comedy store. You know, people are having a good time.
Please, welcome. And first time here on the tonight show.
Speaker 1 You know what, Bobby?
Speaker 1
We had a viewer question. Okay.
Roughly how many pubes do you have? Under a thousand or over? It's interesting. I have none now.
That's interesting. It's interesting because I have none now.
Speaker 1 That's true. Okay.
Speaker 1
And one we saw the other night. I had a meal there.
I've never eaten a meal there before. And they have free razors back there.
Speaker 1 And so I took all five razors, I dipped them in the little bucket, and
Speaker 1 I went at it. And I even did the, you know what I mean? And I went, you know, because the mirror and I did the whole thing.
Speaker 1 At where?
Speaker 4 Clip this. Clip this.
Speaker 1 We spawn.
Speaker 1 What's we spawn? Well, if we're in there naked.
Speaker 1
If we're in there naked ever, dude, don't say hi. It's weird.
It's so fucking weird.
Speaker 4 It's a male
Speaker 1
wait. Which brings my next question.
He leans in the audience. He goes, what's up, brother? He says he does a little crowd work.
And then he leaned over. He goes, you're cute, dude.
Speaker 1 And he kissed him on the lips when I was in the back of the room. Okay.
Speaker 1 I don't know if that was a question, but no, it was an observation.
Speaker 4 It seems more like an interrogation.
Speaker 1 Is it requested? You were
Speaker 1 no, it's in the series. Well, I understand.
Speaker 1 No, I was giving you a confidence that you were at the comedy store, and you do well. And I would say, in my life, when I run around, people ask me the most for tickets for you or Theo.
Speaker 1
So if they say, Hey, Bobby Lee, it's going on. I had someone someone call me and say, can you get me into the comedy store? And I go, oh, I'm not there.
They go, no, I know. Bobby's there.
Speaker 1
Can you get me in? I'm like, call somebody to get you in to see this fucking idiot. No offense.
I've done it for you. Okay, good.
Speaker 4 That's not a put-down. No, it is.
Speaker 1 So you're very charming.
Speaker 1 So when
Speaker 1
you guys do your show, it's good. People really like.
I don't know why they gravitate to you, but they do.
Speaker 4 We see. Do you look at the charts, Bobby? Do you ever look at the charts, the podcast?
Speaker 4 I don't.
Speaker 1 I don't. Because, Because, you know, I think that it's, I'm just going to probably do it until I can't do it anymore, right?
Speaker 4 Why would you stop doing it?
Speaker 1
Unless it changes. We don't know what the hell is it.
It's pretty easy. You get to sleep till three.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
And then you just roll around and mumble on your podcast. It's not a bad life.
It's fun. You roll down the store.
Do you guys, you guys enjoy doing this? No.
Speaker 4 I hate repeating myself. Like stand-up, the toughest part for me is
Speaker 4 we've managed to, you know, make a truce
Speaker 4
to share the stage. We get along fine.
But, you know, repeating yourself in stand-up is work.
Speaker 4 But this is all being live in the moment, maybe with a few notes, is fun because it's happening in real time.
Speaker 1 That's David. The worst things I've asked you were notes.
Speaker 1 It's better to just talk.
Speaker 4 I think so, yeah. Yeah, it's better to just.
Speaker 1
But it's hard. Do you have any prep? Like when I came in, do you have any prep? No.
No. Oh, yeah.
You weren't even there when I came.
Speaker 4 Well, this is what I asked Andrew when I went on.
Speaker 1 Oh, sorry. When I went in.
Speaker 1 When I went into the podcast.
Speaker 1 Now I wasn't supposed to tell the story.
Speaker 4 Well, you went in with those.
Speaker 1 I went to see Bad Friends and I go.
Speaker 4 I couldn't get on the main.
Speaker 1
I says to him, I says, I says, all right, we're doing it one day. Do you want to hear this? I'm here.
And I go.
Speaker 1 I know what you're going to be.
Speaker 1 Thank you. I apologize.
Speaker 4 There's a lot of, can I say this? Do you want to hear this? There's a lot of that today.
Speaker 1
Go ahead. I want to hear this.
No, I was doing Bad Friends. And the night before,
Speaker 1
he says, he texts me and he says, hey, can you not not do it today? Do you mind doing it tomorrow? We could do, I go, I have a flight. I could do probably one to two, let's say.
He says, great.
Speaker 1
Thank you. That really helps me.
I get there at 12.30. In case you were a little early today, which is very sweet.
In case they're ready, let's knock it out. I see Andrew and he's like, this.
Speaker 1 I go what? And he goes,
Speaker 1
he's not here. And I go, oh, I can wait.
And he goes,
Speaker 1
I don't know when he'll be here. And I go, oh, I'm sure it's fine.
And then the other guys at work there, you're a little, you know, the interns, they go,
Speaker 1
why are you so sad during this story? I'm listening. This is a listening face.
I've never listened that long in my life.
Speaker 4 I always talk. I had a fake listening face, too.
Speaker 1 You did, right?
Speaker 4 You know what?
Speaker 1
You have a very good fake listening face. I know.
I know. Watch this one.
Speaker 4 Really good. And I don't have a chip.
Speaker 1 Listening to you, listen. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 I had that.
Speaker 1 Finish? It's a little judgy.
Speaker 4 We finished the story.
Speaker 1 No.
Speaker 1 It's got 25 more minutes.
Speaker 1
I'm a third way through it. So anyway, the story was.
He was a little late and then he came in. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1
But it was a fun. 30 minutes late.
Yeah. I have a question.
Dana would have hit the fucking roof. Dana does not play games.
Speaker 4
Yeah. I'm pretty uptight most of the time.
Yeah.
Speaker 4 So when you, I got to know you guys from clips, right?
Speaker 1 I mean,
Speaker 1 YouTube clips initially. I know a clip.
Speaker 4 And so I see Andrew doing the most racist thing ever of a white guy doing, like crazy over the top very and then you do the thousand yard stare yeah
Speaker 4 and it it it's instantly hilarious i don't know what that combo of him being that foul and ridiculous and then that face do you know how funny that is or did it start out seriously no it it's the instinct of that yeah
Speaker 1 the stillness of it you know staring you know i mean it's like you know i think theo and i had a thing where um he said something i forgot what it was but it was so ridiculous.
Speaker 1
So you just kind of look at him for a good seven seconds to let it sit. You know what I mean? Yeah.
And then he starts to backtrack. How ridiculous that really is.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
And you don't count your mind, but it's an instinctual thing. You know how to fucking do what kind of you're talking about.
It works.
Speaker 4 But I've never seen something that potent where the bow is going back with Andrew and then
Speaker 4 to the release of someone who's clearly just saying, did I just see that? It's like the stillness of getting a huge laugh.
Speaker 1 I should have done that on the wrong message. I was like Charlie Chap.
Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 Well, Bobby, thank you. And you are, you look great.
Speaker 4 You, you're, you talk great.
Speaker 1 We, uh, you look great, and you cut your hair, and you honestly look 10 years younger. I don't know how.
Speaker 1 You look great.
Speaker 1 And uh, anything else? Can I plug some things? Yeah, plug some things. Let's go.
Speaker 4 Plug it all.
Speaker 1 You'll be at the comedy store what night?
Speaker 1 No.
Speaker 1 Well, so I mean, eventually I'm going to do Hulu. So if you check out my Hulu special when it comes out.
Speaker 4 Do you have a title?
Speaker 1 I'm going to call it Finally.
Speaker 1 Oh, that's good. Do you know why? I've never done one before.
Speaker 1
Oh. I've never done a special before.
Yeah.
Speaker 4 Where are you going to shoot it?
Speaker 1
San Diego Balboa Theater. Did you not do it yet? Okay.
I do it in January, I said. Oh, you haven't done it yet? And then...
Speaker 1
Oh, I thought it comes out in January. No, I'm going to do it in January.
Because I did mine. They hold it for a while.
Speaker 1
So mine will come out in three years. They do take a while to come out.
Okay, well, it's going to come out eventually.
Speaker 4 That's Amazon Prime.
Speaker 1
He's on Hulu. Right, but Hulu sometimes holds them too.
What's better, Andrea? Hulu.
Speaker 4 Tata's a slightly bigger deal. I'll talk to you.
Speaker 1 Amazon Prime.
Speaker 4 Anyway,
Speaker 1 look where you've started.
Speaker 1
Infighting. You've seen Dandelion.
What?
Speaker 1
Oh, never mind. My favorite movie in the world.
Is it a movie? His special. It's called Dandelion.
Speaker 4
Oh. What do you think of the time? It's so good.
Dandelion's great. Yeah, it was a great special.
Speaker 1
I saw it three times. Is it on it? I'm giving you this.
Is it out?
Speaker 1
A very good listening space. I'm giving you the stare down.
Oh, you are.
Speaker 1
You know, I watch you so much that I don't think I need to sit down. There you go.
Thank you. There we go.
Speaker 4 Does either of you ever sit down for a big heap of night of stand-up specials? Because usually, you know how the
Speaker 4 rabbit gets out of the hat. I'm looking for.
Speaker 1 I have one last question, but can I ask him a question? Yeah. How come you're never around the clubs? Yeah, why don't you do a set over there?
Speaker 4 Because
Speaker 4 there's a lot of reasons. But for me, I never really liked group shows.
Speaker 4 Because when comedians go on, and unless they're really good friends, like I could go on a group show with you guys, but generally all after a while, it's like either staff or people walk back and say, I thought you were one of the best ones out there tonight.
Speaker 4 Or it becomes a comedy competition. You know who killed last night?
Speaker 4 It's a behind me. It's supposed to be like open mic and I'm going to try new material.
Speaker 4 Everyone throws that away.
Speaker 1
Right. It's hard to go bomb.
It's hard to bomb when some of your friends are in the room. But actually, usually when we're back in the green room, nobody really leaves to go watch somebody.
Speaker 1
It's usually everyone bullshits. Yes.
They come back and you think, oh no, they all watch and judge. And they're like, they don't even know you're on or not.
Speaker 1 So Dana, when you were on the road, do you two, because do you do new jokes in front of that many people? Yeah, where do you practice?
Speaker 4 Yeah, where do you practice?
Speaker 4
If I go six months without doing it, if I do... Two or three sets, I feel pretty good.
But the first set's kind of rough after six months of not doing it. Okay.
Speaker 1 So you do two or three. Yeah.
Speaker 4 Well, I just sort of put down my sword a certain while I just went.
Speaker 4 I was at one point kind of playing a different game, like doing regular stand-up. So now I've kind of tabled that.
Speaker 4 So I'm just going to do Trump or Biden or Scarface, and I'll go for 10 minutes, 15 minutes.
Speaker 4 I'm just going to ride the wave of what I really like to do
Speaker 4 rather than try to be a stand-up.
Speaker 1 Yeah, but it was a clip of yours.
Speaker 1
Exactly. But there was a clip of yours.
I forgot what the bit was about rockets or something like that. It had something to do with the space or something, but it was a joke.
Speaker 1 I'm being real. It was a stand-up joke that was so good.
Speaker 1
And I thought to myself, wow, that guy's so good. He does.
He's always doing good. He feels, yeah.
Yeah. And he doesn't do it.
Can we do a gig together? I think he said 45 minutes or say it again.
Speaker 1
I thought this is done now. We are.
We're cutting all this.
Speaker 1 This is all on the editing room floor. Oh, it is? No, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 No, I can't even grow. I don't feel it.
Speaker 4 I feel like I'm on a podcast.
Speaker 1 You're one of the fun ones because
Speaker 1
I think you're hilarious. I watch you.
I'll stop and watch your act. We're there.
I always like talking to you. We talk.
Sometimes we talk real in the back, which is very odd. That's okay.
I like it.
Speaker 1 How do you feel about that? I like it. Because here's, I'll tell you why
Speaker 1
I do this with you specifically. Yeah.
And don't take this the wrong way. I will.
Okay.
Speaker 1 But there's something about you that reminds me of me. Not that you're that much older than me.
Speaker 1 But.
Speaker 1
A couple of years. I don't know how old I am.
I know.
Speaker 4 I know the gap, but I'm not going to say that.
Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah. But you are a little older than me, right? And I just, there are times, especially on specific topics, like I want to know your advice.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's all. But we do have normal talks.
Speaker 1 And I like it because I think everyone thinks you're more of a goofball than me.
Speaker 1
So I think when you're on stage, you're very funny. And when you're back there, you do goofy stuff.
And you're a good laugher. You're a good laugher here.
You laugh at us, very sweet.
Speaker 1
And it's always good to hang out with someone that laughs. Some comedians are very tight with the laughs, you know.
They don't laugh at anything you say.
Speaker 1
They just laugh at their own stuff or whatever. So you're fun to talk to.
You're one of the ones fun to talk to. So if we, we can just bullshit without trying and to be funny.
We just talk. It's fun.
Speaker 4 I think the skill set that you have to have, no matter what kind of comedian you are, is you have to have social IQ, being able to read the room.
Speaker 4 And so when you hang out with comedians, if you're at a party, it's really boring or some award thing and you're with regular people and then a comedian comes in.
Speaker 4
It's always they know what the elephant in the room is. That's the wrong thing that person wore, or this is the worst part of the show.
They should have cut this.
Speaker 4 And so I find comedians just a very enjoyable comment.
Speaker 1 There is
Speaker 1 a bond.
Speaker 1 There is a bond that you have when you're in like a regular place, and then you see a comic walk in and you're like, oh, oh, you know what I mean? It's better now. Like a showbiz party.
Speaker 1
You run to the comics. Right, right.
I have a question about your, you have a podcast called Tiger Town or something, right?
Speaker 1 Super Belly. And Tiger Town, it's actually a good guy.
Speaker 1 How long do you tape those? How long is a regular guest take?
Speaker 1 Or is it very?
Speaker 1
Well, it's been around for 10 years almost now. We've done over 500 episodes.
I know. I think I did that one a long time ago, too.
Yeah, and you did during COVID. And I do it every Monday.
Speaker 1 What's great about Tiger Town?
Speaker 1 Tiger Belly is
Speaker 1 what's great about it is I've set it up so that
Speaker 1
I literally open my eyes, walk down the stairs, walk down the stairs, sit down. I don't know who the guests are during the day.
You're the worst.
Speaker 1
I literally, like one time I sat down and then Teratop walked down. I'm like, who Carrots? You know what I mean? Carrotop.
And then you do it. You know what I mean? And you have some backup now.
Speaker 1 You have about six people there. That's another thing I've done is I've gotten two or three cast of characters.
Speaker 1 Like you got to have the one that's kind of like,
Speaker 1
you know what I mean? Yeah. And then you have the smart alley.
It's like a show. It's a full show.
It's a show. So you don't have to carry the weight.
You're the anchor.
Speaker 1
But you, whatever you say works, but you can wait for your spots. Yeah.
Now with bad friends is hard because that's where you have to be completely, because Andrew's so fast. Right.
Speaker 1
And he will bust your balls on any turn. Right.
So it's like,
Speaker 1 yeah.
Speaker 1 You know what I mean? And it's hard.
Speaker 1 Sometimes he'll go.
Speaker 1
Right. And I'll go.
Nothing. Right.
Speaker 1 Right.
Speaker 1
Nothing. Right.
Nothing, nothing. Right.
Right. And then you're like, oh, I'm, I'm, and then you start, I'm drowning.
Yeah. Sometimes I go, sometimes at the end of it, I'll go,
Speaker 1
we can't enter that one. The whole thing.
And we don't. Oh, really? Because there's a tuto backpack.
But he's pretty good at being just people like that.
Speaker 4 Bail on the entire.
Speaker 1
We have one episode. Okay.
I didn't know you could do that.
Speaker 1 Try this. This is fun.
Speaker 1 We have one episode we did early on
Speaker 1
where it was going so horribly. We went, you know what? Let's do one two-hour episode where we can say whatever we want.
I'm talking about,
Speaker 1 you know what I mean?
Speaker 1
Yeah. Anything.
Foul. Foul.
Speaker 1
Racist. Cancel everything.
Cancelable. Every line was a cancel, right?
Speaker 1
It was so freeing. We left so hard.
Yeah, of course. It's the free thing.
We left so hard. Of course.
It's in a vault somewhere. I don't know who has it.
Right.
Speaker 1
But if that goes out, uh-oh, big trouble, big trouble in Little China. I mean, yeah, I mean, but there is something therapeutic about it.
It was really freeing
Speaker 1 to be able to just say whatever you wanted to say. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 It sounds like a blast.
Speaker 4 Stuff I do behind the scenes with friends.
Speaker 1 Dane is funny, really.
Speaker 1 Dane and all that stuff is me stuff.
Speaker 1
That is the ricketiest piece of shit table. I'm sorry you're dealing with it.
You know what? And I have to sit.
Speaker 1 What a beautiful place.
Speaker 1 This one?
Speaker 1
Well, because I went to your, I've been to your other places. Oh, yeah.
And I haven't been to this one. You like this one? Well, you don't probably know.
Speaker 1
People don't know that you're shooting in your house. Is that what it is? No, I don't care.
No, we know. Okay, yeah.
I thought you were joking. No, I'm being fucking real.
Okay.
Speaker 1
Your last place was nice, but this one. Ooh, lock it.
Me and beyond.
Speaker 1
It's good. Yeah, I like it.
That's all right.
Speaker 1
Well, Bobby, I will take you. Thank you for having me.
I'll take you out for dinner soon. You're sometimes tough to get to dinner because I like to go early.
Okay, okay. But
Speaker 1 thanks for coming here.
Speaker 4 You already did 5:30. It is a problem for nightclub comics.
Speaker 1 I don't say it's not 5.30. It's 6.
Speaker 4
But I like to eat. I would eat at 5.30.
Yeah, he likes it.
Speaker 1 Thanks for having me on, guys. That was fun.
Speaker 1 Guys, we just walked by.
Speaker 1 Bobby Lee basically kicked him out because he could have gone on forever. He's so goddamn hilarious.
Speaker 1
I love the awkwardness and funniness, but he's just, we're all weird, and it's very funny. Love the dude.
Very sweet guy.
Speaker 1 He was just pulling out and I said.
Speaker 1
You should turn your car on. He goes, no, I can back out.
I go, no.
Speaker 4 Well, there's a driveway that's a little tricky.
Speaker 1
It gets right at the gate. It gets small.
And I go, it's kind of hard. And he goes, no, no, I'll just back out.
Heather and I went to the window and watched him. Just go, just took his mirror off.
Speaker 1 And I was like,
Speaker 1 anyway,
Speaker 1
I told him I'll do some spots at the store and work it off. But super funny.
You laughed, Dana. He's a great guy, right?
Speaker 1 Well,
Speaker 4 as you saw, folks, he's the kind of guest you don't need to do any prep.
Speaker 1 None. So I did none because
Speaker 4 I know enough of him. I've seen him enough to know that, you know, he's just, well, first of all, there's very few comedians who have a real great laugh.
Speaker 4
Usually we have a pretty good laugh, but we're the ones trying to get the laugh. He's really funny and has an incredible laugh.
So he brought all this energy right away.
Speaker 4 And so that was just went by very fast.
Speaker 1 Like I was saying, he's a fun comic because he will laugh at your stuff and he does go back and forth with you and it keeps the balls in the air.
Speaker 1
And when you're interviewing, he does so many podcasts. He knows not to just sit there and give mousy little answers.
He
Speaker 1
answers, tells a story, laughs, stands up. That's what you want.
So we, I mean, for a guy, we've been talking about having him in, and I see him out, and Santino's coming in soon.
Speaker 1 It's like, we kind of waited on Theo and Tim Dylan and these guys for this chunk of shows, and they're going to be great.
Speaker 4
We have our bucket list. You know, I would say I learned from him and you did a little bit too, but it is kind of interesting.
Like,
Speaker 4 like maybe I shouldn't say this,
Speaker 4 but I feel like I just want to say this. I hope it's okay.
Speaker 4
That's me illustrating what I was, my point was. It's very much, you lean in, even you did it.
I don't know if I should bring this up, but so when he did that precursor, it's good podcasting.
Speaker 4 Maybe I shouldn't really bring this up, but it was one line.
Speaker 1 Sometimes people that I see on podcasts that don't do a lot of them or that aren't that interesting go, they intentionally go,
Speaker 1
I've never told you this story. I've never told the story on podcasts before.
And everyone's like, and they're like, anyway, here's my dumb story.
Speaker 1 And it's, but they, they want you to be like, where's the clip guy? Get ready.
Speaker 4
And then they bore the shit out of you. I probably shouldn't say this.
It's a really good one. Yeah.
I'm going to get in trouble if I say this.
Speaker 4 And I have 10 of those in my pocket, but I have followed my own advice.
Speaker 1 I like that we finally turned the air conditioner after me and Bobby in this sweatshop.
Speaker 4
I sold this jean jacket and I took it off. I want t-shirt today because it was so hot.
And now I'm glad I took it because it's so cold.
Speaker 1
But anyway, that was Bobby. I had a blast.
Dana had a blast, right? Love, love. And we'll look forward to the other guys like Santino, Tim, Theo.
They're all coming in soon.
Speaker 1
And we're going to get this wave of dudes. And thanks for watching.
We will actually have women too. And some women.
Speaker 1 Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app, give us a review, five-star rating, and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend.
Speaker 4 If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now.
Speaker 1 Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung-Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.
Speaker 4 Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech.
Speaker 1 Booking by Cultivated Entertainment.
Speaker 4 Special thanks thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hilary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira.
Speaker 1
Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email us at flyonthewall at odyssey.com.
That's audacy.com.