Jim Jefferies - Pioneer of the "C" Word

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Speaker 2 I think the thing that for me early on was just saying cup a lot was the big difference from the American Act.

Speaker 1 I've always said I'm the Rosa Parks of the C-word, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, Bernie Dana Carvey's house did not get picked up.

Speaker 1 And there you go, quickly. Any other just quick pictures for season three, or is that the one we're talking about?

Speaker 2 If the aliens came down and they said, give us your two best, not just looking, just your best human beings,

Speaker 2 and we gave them Hugh Jackman and Margot Robbie, come on now. You can't get better than those two.

Speaker 2 What's with this?

Speaker 1 You might kind of get it.

Speaker 2 Okay, welcome to Flying the Wall.

Speaker 1 Which is a,

Speaker 1 it's sort of been thrown together year seven. We almost worked the bugs out.
This is Dana, and

Speaker 2 we're going to tell you a couple of things.

Speaker 2 We've resolved an issue because we had Superfly and we're flying the wall, and I know someone personally who had a mental breakdown because she could not process it.

Speaker 2 And she went into an institution for a brief period of time. I talked to her last week.
And the funny thing. I just never understood.
Superfly,

Speaker 2 what's the difference? I never could do it. And I shook her.
I said, David Spade solves all problems, slapped her face.

Speaker 2 And she goes, I feel so much better.

Speaker 1 You know, I have friends. They finally figured it out, and now we switched it.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 1 They finally figured out how to do Superfly in the other one, and then we switched it. So everyone's confused.
It'll take a few years, and then everyone's going to get it.

Speaker 2 But I will tell you,

Speaker 2 2037.

Speaker 1 I have a quick story that I have a question about 4th of July. And

Speaker 1 I think, because I saw some Joe Dirt, it's kind of a Joe Dirt holiday, this one. This is where I get the most.

Speaker 2 It's Joe Dirt summer, and of course, with enfolded in that, it's a Joe Dirt holiday.

Speaker 1 Sort of baked in, right?

Speaker 2 David Spade Summer, but Joe Dirt.

Speaker 1 So I feel like I want to get a big company to do Joe Dirt fireworks and have the spleen splitters. and the whisker biscuits and all those things.

Speaker 2 I think that'd be funny. It'd be funny.
And at the end, it says fireworks, but it goes into a whole gigantic Joe Dirt image.

Speaker 1 I mean, in a perfect world, yeah. Yeah.
We'll say that. It won't do that, but we'll say it could do that.
And also, just the Roman candles, just a shoom, shoom. Roman candles are great.

Speaker 1 A couple of black cats. You're going to do a little mixed bag because I've seen some fake.

Speaker 2 I'm going to go to the lingo. What are you, a fireworks specialist?

Speaker 1 I'll show you a clip of the movie, but Pistol Pete. Pistol Pete.
What are your favorite firecrackers when you grew up? Do you remember any?

Speaker 2 The actual firecracker was fun. My friends and I were in a Volkswagen bug, and and we were going around town smoking weed high school, throwing firecrackers out the window.

Speaker 2 So we're lighting them and throwing them. It's lighting them and throwing them.
I see someone in the front seat. They're lighting and throwing them.
I see the other person rolling up the window.

Speaker 2 So the guy literally lit the firecracker,

Speaker 2 the window closed,

Speaker 2 and then I'm three, two.

Speaker 1 And then everyone goes,

Speaker 1 I've done it with gum, stunk, right in the window.

Speaker 2 And I go, Heather? Is this airing before or after 4th of July?

Speaker 1 It's airing right after.

Speaker 2 The day before. Day before.
Oh, it is? Okay. Oh, all right.
That's still good. What's okay? I have another

Speaker 2 fire.

Speaker 1 I want to ask, you have another firecracker story?

Speaker 2 There cannot be another one. Fourth of July story.
Okay, go ahead. We're up in the peninsula, and Candlestick Park is blowing off up there.
The San Francisco Giants are blowing off fireworks.

Speaker 2 And we're down in the peninsula, and we're looking up.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I said, look them candle. So my friends, again, were pretty high.
So they laughed for like two hours, look them candle.

Speaker 2 And then when a friend would go down to grab his beer or water or something, you'd always say, oh, you just missed it. And that became our running.
That's not

Speaker 1 a bad one.

Speaker 2 You just missed the best one.

Speaker 1 The best one.

Speaker 1 I always think the last one is not, you know, like I go, that's the last one's got to be. And then there's more.

Speaker 2 Well, that's just funny when they're like,

Speaker 2 and then it's fading out.

Speaker 2 Okay. And then they go, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick.
Yo, it's got to be the finale. Wait a second.
Then,

Speaker 2 another build-up.

Speaker 2 Good. You got the sound effects.
That helps it.

Speaker 1 All right, Puff Daddy trial. Puff Daddy trial.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And Scooby News.

Speaker 2 And now we're going with the Scooby News brought to you by Scooby-Doo and Casey Kasim starring as Shaggy. Yeah, so catch us up.
Well, you know, P. Diddy's trial is resting, Scoob.

Speaker 2 Okay, you do the talk.

Speaker 2 P. Diddy's trial is resting, Scoob.

Speaker 2 Apparently, he had a thousand bottles of baby oil. No one knew what he was doing with them, Scoob.
What do you think they were doing? What?

Speaker 2 Anal.

Speaker 2 We can't say that on a podcast.

Speaker 2 PG-13 podcast. I said,

Speaker 2 oh, yeah. I understand what you're saying, Scoob, but I don't ever want to go to a freak off at P.
Diddy's. Now, let's make like a banana and split.
Yoinks.

Speaker 2 Yoinks.

Speaker 2 There's a pastrami shoe. Phil's over there going, what did I sign up for?

Speaker 1 He knows this place.

Speaker 2 He goes, this isn't the real thing.

Speaker 2 When do the real guys come in? I think... He's not the A-team.

Speaker 1 If Puff Daddy gets off, which he might have by this time, his ego will be puffed up. There's a lot of people that want him to get off.
They just say, oh, they want him to get off.

Speaker 1 They want to beat the court system. Fuck those guys.
They're just trying to hassle Puff. He's great.
And he'll run out and be such kingcock because he'll be like, now everyone knows what I do.

Speaker 1 So if you're actively joining in, you get it and you're in. So that will happen.
Will he go to prison? I'd say the odds right now are against him going to prison, but I don't know everything.

Speaker 2 What do you think? Like we said, it's just a couple of people. But is it illegal to have a freak off with baby oil? Was it consensual?

Speaker 2 Even when people say it wasn't consensual, in another interesting court case, shockingly, the Idaho killer

Speaker 2 wants to admitted guilt if he can have life in prison. And I don't know why everyone thought he was guilty, but his photo looked like this.

Speaker 2 He's terrifying. By the way.

Speaker 2 Never do that to anybody.

Speaker 1 I like when they have all these new things, like they go, but we pinged your phone, right? Where the murder's worried is like, what?

Speaker 2 Well, you can do that. I can't believe it.
The Idaho killer says he's guilty. No one ever looked that guilty.
Do you see the picture, Scoob?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 He looks great.

Speaker 2 We have two new characters. I don't know.
The Scooby-Doo. You're Scooby-Doo, and I'm Shaggy.
Scooby's Scooby.

Speaker 1 It's hard to understand him.

Speaker 2 Well, that's the funny part. Yeah.
How would he say, fuck you?

Speaker 2 Rock you, right?

Speaker 2 Now you're doing Sandler.

Speaker 2 Anyway, what else you got? Anyway,

Speaker 2 good for him.

Speaker 1 Wrap it up in a nutshell. Good for him.

Speaker 2 Nice and wrapped up in a rim. It's a cute little local song.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 So last week we had Julie Bowen. A lot of people watched it.
A lot of people commented. A lot of people listened.
And I thought she was a very fun, entertaining guest. Bust my balls.

Speaker 2 But I do have a

Speaker 1 quick fix because I said we sat courtside one time at a game i mean years ago and she said no it was great but they were like seven throw it's i found proof you were courtside yeah oh so julie bone

Speaker 2 hmm got it wrong or lied no just miss not like that miss got it okay let me see where the picture is tick pic dick pic tick pic tick pick tick here it is okay why do you not only do you have the dick pic you have to say every time you go by i see one dick pick you know it's a i'm scrolling So, why do you keep mentioning it?

Speaker 1 Because I'm just thinking out loud, like, okay, that's that.

Speaker 2 Okay, here's one. I understand.

Speaker 1 Look at that hat.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 What a damn fool.

Speaker 2 She looks great. She looks great now.
I mean, she's not. Yes.

Speaker 1 She's beautiful. And look.
And then it says here:

Speaker 1 NBA court side seats.

Speaker 2 Look, you've got your tongue in her ear and everything. I don't want to see that.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 the seats prove timelines.

Speaker 2 Yeah. See? Oh,

Speaker 1 so I did send them to her in this.

Speaker 1 just so you know.

Speaker 1 And she goes, I don't know if that's true. I'm like, you don't know if proof is true? Okay.

Speaker 2 She still thinks it's a AI fake?

Speaker 1 Everyone thinks everyone says that is AI. That's funny.
Okay, other than that, what else in the docket? Real quick, real quick, and I cannot talk more.

Speaker 1 Oh, I had a, oh, here's my show in Portland on the weekend.

Speaker 1 The quick story was it was a beautiful day in Portland, 72 degrees, the nicest day they've had all year.

Speaker 1 And I have a show inside and it stays light to like 10. So I don't even want to go to my show.

Speaker 1 And then I see some people in Calvary who would say, go, oh, no, you have a show tonight because we're going to go see Post Malone and Jelly Pop, Jelly Roll. And I'm like, oh,

Speaker 2 I go, really?

Speaker 1 That sounds fun. It does kind of.
And they go, yeah, it's outdoors.

Speaker 2 An outdoor caramel. 30,000 festival.

Speaker 1 I get home. The news is live from there.
When I get back to my room, I go, uh-huh. And they're like, We're out here with Jelly Pop, and he is really tubby.
And let's show a wide shot, really wide.

Speaker 1 I'm kidding. I think he's skinny now.
Well, I think they're merging into the same person in Post Malone, covered in tattoos,

Speaker 1 singing songs. I don't know.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 They did. You did well.
I mean, you

Speaker 1 did very well. I wanted it to be like off the hissle.

Speaker 2 So you were backstage. I had a local news feed because I follow you around Portland.

Speaker 2 Action news. And they had a guy out there and people in line going in and they go, how do you feel about David? Well, we love David's pay, but it's so freaking nice out.
We're really torn.

Speaker 1 That's very true. All right, let's get to Jim Jeffries.
We've had our fun. We've had our fun.
We're going to slow things down a bit. Jim Jeffries is a good bud and a fun dude I've golfed with.

Speaker 1 Oh, you want to do a serial killer face? I just did it.

Speaker 2 I just, I threw it out as a code. Get out of your system.
Jim Jeffries.

Speaker 2 I'm very thankful. Is we already started? Is this started? No, we're absolutely through it, to be honest.

Speaker 2 We don't have any structure or introduction or anything.

Speaker 2 We'll do all that later.

Speaker 1 Content or anything.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 I've met David many times before.

Speaker 2 I've met you in passing, Dana, but I'm a big fan, mate. I'm very excited to do that.
I saw you go crush. We met at John Lovitz's Comedy Club, right? That's correct.
That's correct. Yes,

Speaker 2 a while back, and you were kind of unassuming. You had your accent and everything, whatever.
And it was kind of a rough room because that

Speaker 2 high stage and everything. But then you discussed stories.
Then you killed, like, like oh god this guy man got some

Speaker 2 thank you i don't know when that was

Speaker 2 where that was

Speaker 2 yeah jeffries is uh that's you power powerful and and funny

Speaker 2 uh

Speaker 2 i was gonna ask you that like you you were one of the first that really walked outside stepped outside the lines in some of your early specials like yeah and i comedians love it because i don't do that but i love when i see someone who's literally saying exactly what they want to say without any censorship.

Speaker 2 It's very, you do it.

Speaker 2 I think the thing that for me early on was just saying cunt a lot was the big difference from the American act. I've always said I'm the Rosa Parks of the C-word, right?

Speaker 2 Because before, no, before a lot of people are saying that. A lot of people.

Speaker 2 Before me, there was a restriction.

Speaker 2 You couldn't say it in the comedy club. You could say whatever you want.
So my first comedy special for HBO, I swear to God, right? I swear to God,

Speaker 2 I had a light at the back of the room and it was a 15-minute mark. You know,

Speaker 2 us comics, we normally have a light when we have five minutes left, right? To get off the stage. I don't know if many people know that, but that's what we have.

Speaker 2 We have a light at the end of the room to tell us when to get off the stage. I had a light that at 15 minutes lit up and that meant I was allowed to say the word cunt because Netflix, because

Speaker 2 HBO said to me,

Speaker 2 The ratings go in 15 minute increments. We want people to like you.
We don't want them to turn off in the first 15 minutes. So you can't say say the C word for the first 15 minutes.

Speaker 2 So I had a light at the back and at 15 minutes I say Aunt Panda's a bunch of cunts. And then I'll get to the races.

Speaker 1 Can I plummet the ratings now?

Speaker 2 Let me ask you a question.

Speaker 2 Are you like if an American hears either a British or Australian accent saying the wood can't, you know, it's softer to our ears. Are you guys enamored? Is Australia?

Speaker 2 Should I go down there and play little tiny clubs? Not like I'm a huge star anymore, but I would play down there.

Speaker 2 Are they enamored by the way we, our accents are, like we are enamored of Australian and British accents?

Speaker 2 The short answer is no. We're not.
You ask the big star down there. Your movies are massive.

Speaker 2 The difference is we grew up watching your TV all the time.

Speaker 2 So we've seen American sitcoms since we're, that's why there's so many American, Australian actors doing American accents in films and not the other way.

Speaker 2 You know, so we grew up watching this stuff, which is weird because when I was growing up, I was a huge fan of like Wayne's World, right? Loved Wayne's World.

Speaker 2 Didn't know it was a sketch from SNL because we never had SNL in Australia. That was never a thing.
So some of the movies that came out of SNL just seemed a little odd to us because we never showed.

Speaker 2 It's like Magruber. You were like, where's Magruber coming from?

Speaker 1 Also, you thought Garth is a real guy that just had done like 10 movies and now he's doing Wayne's World. And you're like, oh, that Garth guy is pretty funny.

Speaker 2 I had a sitcom back in the day on FX and it went for two seasons and it was just about me taking care of.

Speaker 1 Take him to Cuntville.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that was the one.

Speaker 2 It was called Legit and Legit was about me taking care of a disabled guy, which was vaguely based on my real life.

Speaker 2 We almost had a season three, but season three.

Speaker 2 The whole entire arc of season three that I'd written out, Dana Carvey was the main character, and I was going to ask ask you to be in the show and you were going to play yourself.

Speaker 2 The plot line of the opening episode was I was taking care of my disabled friend the wheelchair.

Speaker 2 My character had become famous doing stand-up by the end of season two. I see your character, you, doing an impersonation of me on a late night show.
I'm all coked up and I get upset.

Speaker 2 And so I go over to your house to confront you, but I'm chicken, so I can't knock on the door.

Speaker 2 So I get the shit out of the disabled guy's wheelchair colostomy bag and I put it into a paper bag and then we go up and we put it on the doorstep to light it and do the classic, you know, light the dog shit, run away.

Speaker 2 But we forget to knock on the door and your house burns down. And that's the whole season arc from then on that I'm your only friend and you're sleeping on my couch.

Speaker 2 And I hadn't even really met you at that stage. But if you didn't take it, I was going to ask David to do the role.
I had options. I'll do it.
Wow. And that you can throw the shit on me.

Speaker 2 For season three.

Speaker 2 Extraordinary. Yeah, burning down Dana Carvey's house did not get picked up.

Speaker 1 And they go quickly. Any other just quick pitches for season three or is that the one we're going to?

Speaker 2 I've got full scripts. I wrote the whole thing out.
I thought it was a good premise.

Speaker 1 By the way, the weirder the better, I say. Like some of these shows are too by the book and you just can figure them all out.
If you start that way, I'm in.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 the first episode of season one was just me taking a disabled guy to a brothel, which is something I did in my real life. I had a friend with Muscular Dystrophy.

Speaker 2 And before he died i took him to a brothel and so it's a sweet it's a sweet story you know he couldn't get laid it's legal in australia i should add that being disabled is legal and prostitution and

Speaker 2 they finally passed it being disabled bill

Speaker 2 i'm so glad

Speaker 2 and we and i took him down to the brothel and this guy this guy had died a couple of times like his heart had given away he'd been resuscitated so me and his brother took him down with the full knowledge that this might go tits up you know what i mean so we laid him down and then you know the girl did what she did and then we put him back in the chair and then we went off and had a couple of drinks and that was our day now now i told the story to so many people i made a sitcom about the story and then cut to

Speaker 2 a few years later i see him and he's like hey you made a lot of money out of the story i said yeah yeah yeah i did he goes you should take me to the brothel again it's only fair right so i'm thinking this guy's going to get his second blowjob in his life i'm going to do it right i'll i'll take him again and i went down and they all greeted him like he was norm from cheers it turns out

Speaker 2 it turns out that he he gives this sob story to everyone as soon as he walked in they're all like dan

Speaker 1 by the way was he disabled or do we know

Speaker 2 and does the wean work i don't know

Speaker 2 experience go i don't know how australians think of this phrase did it go tits up or not tits down

Speaker 2 it went tits down i think tits down well is tits down something you say or not no no one says tits down tits up is when something goes badly, there's no tits down,

Speaker 2 right? Yeah, yeah, that's that's American too.

Speaker 2 I think the term tits up means that like a banana pill slip, like

Speaker 2 up in the air, tits up.

Speaker 2 It means spineless. I think I want to know about Australian actors because I've just noticed that they're not only good at American accents, they're perfect.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and I start with Russell Crowe, like immaculate.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I don't know why that is. And the Australian actors you send us all seem alpha-alpha.

Speaker 2 You know, like just no, but nobody's kind of like a little guy. There always seem to be kind of

Speaker 2 big, big, hulky. You know, there's, you know,

Speaker 2 there's a third Hemsworth, though, that's a lot shorter, who also is an actor. There's the two main ones, and there's a third one.
But

Speaker 2 there's a, and he's the eldest brother, and he's the one who started acting first. He's really nice, but the other two good-looking ones came along and went, we'll have a go.

Speaker 2 Oh, he's not good-looking either.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 he's good-looking by our standards, but not by as a Hemsworth.

Speaker 2 He cremates us, but

Speaker 2 against those guys.

Speaker 2 Next to me, he looks just great. But

Speaker 2 I'll tell you my one

Speaker 2 Russell Crowe story, because you mentioned Russell Crowe. Oh, you know all these guys.

Speaker 2 There's like 10 Australians, right? But you know the comedian David Williams?

Speaker 2 From Australia?

Speaker 2 No, he's a British. He's on Little Britain was his sketch show.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah, he was.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's the judge of Britain's Got Talent or something like that. So we oh, yes, now I know exactly what you're talking about.
Yeah, he's kind of pale, really pale, and kind of chump-face. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So me, I was, me, David, and

Speaker 2 Russell were going out to dinner. And Russell lives at the end of this pier and in the harbor.

Speaker 2 And on the bottom story of the pier are all these fancy restaurants along Sydney Harbor right they're all like lined up along Sydney Harbor and so we went down the lift we started walking through the car park and so it's just a car park with a few sort of like exit doors to different shops and stuff along the pier

Speaker 2 and uh I said well what restaurant we're going to he goes oh we're going to this Chinese restaurant I eat there once a week it's one of the best Chinese restaurants you'll ever go to I'm telling you try the duck right so we we we walking along and then I go well how do we get into it he goes I just walk in through the back they know me right so we get to the door.

Speaker 2 Russell just bashes through the door. He goes past.
There's a bloke like washing dishes, probably thinking it's someone from ICE coming to get him, right? He's just washing dishes out the back.

Speaker 2 Then we go into like. Then we go into the kitchen and there's like all the chefs in the, in the clean bit, right? So Russell bounds through.
He's way ahead of us.

Speaker 2 Then me and David go in through the restaurant like this. And we're like, so sorry for coming in through the back.
We're very much looking forward to the meal. Thank you so much for having us.

Speaker 2 Really appreciate you. We get out into the dining area and Russell's just standing there and he goes,

Speaker 2 wrong restaurant. I went a door early.

Speaker 2 I went a door early. And so it was like the most famous man in Australia, followed by one of the second most famous people in Australia, followed by me.
And it just was a cavalcade of shit.

Speaker 2 We had to go back out in the street and walk out and come back in again. Anyway, he does a very good American accent.
He's a brilliant actor. I mean,

Speaker 2 he's one of the best actors you'll ever see. Master and Commander, if anyone listening has never seen it, it's like a miracle of a movie, Russell Crowe, and that the whole ship at sea.

Speaker 2 Have you seen it? I have seen it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 It gets you seasick, that film, if you watch it in the cinema. It's a lot of rocking around.

Speaker 2 I think so.

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Speaker 2 So you're huge in the UK. I saw your tour.
So what's the name of your tour, Godson?

Speaker 2 Son of a Carpenter. My father's a carpenter, and it's just an easy reference point.
But yeah, son of a Carpenter. I've just not tried to say this.
It is extraordinary. You're playing Istanbul.

Speaker 2 You're playing massive dates, Manchester, all over Europe. What are you talking about? What the fuck?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 I got my comedy chops in Britain. I did most of my early work in the UK.
I went to the UK 2001 and sort of stayed there till 2010, and then I moved to America.

Speaker 2 But the British comedy circuit, I think, is the best in the world because the cities are so close together. You're never never getting on an aeroplane.

Speaker 2 You're going 50 miles, Liverpool to Manchester, Manchester to Leeds. You can double up in cities.
You can start, you can do an early spot in one city and then end up in.

Speaker 2 You can start in one country. You can start in Scotland and then finish in England for your night.
You know what I mean? It's an interesting place. I got to

Speaker 2 count me in.

Speaker 2 Well, I can get your gigs. You two would do all right.
You'd do just fine. Don't worry about it.
Well, what are we talking? Big, big clubs or small theaters or small arenas, big arenas?

Speaker 2 I think you would do some medium to large theaters, you know, but like, let's not book the O2 just yet, but let's see how the first two are going to be.

Speaker 2 You'd rather sell it out than

Speaker 2 the 10%ers book you in something too huge. What's the biggest room you will play on this tour?

Speaker 2 I have done the O2 before, but on this tour,

Speaker 2 I'll do the Hammersmith Apollo, which is like 4,000, and I probably will do two shows there. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not.
That's pretty juicy. Yeah, but that's like a nice room.

Speaker 2 And then there's the Manchester Apollo. And then

Speaker 2 I think there's a gig in Amsterdam that's quite large that I'll do. I always do a rite in Amsterdam.
I've been gigging a lot in Amsterdam for the last 20 years.

Speaker 2 It's just before weed was legal, I always used to accept gigs in Amsterdam. It's like how, it's like how now that I'm a family guy, I always seem to find gigs in Hawaii out of nowhere.

Speaker 2 To take the family, right? Yeah, to take the family, yeah. Take the family to Hawaii.
I sell like 500 tickets, but it's fucking fucking worth it because I get to go to Hawaii.

Speaker 2 What culture, when you were at your edgiest, and I was going to ask you if you've adjusted anything just because you want to or you're still just as edgy.

Speaker 2 What country accepted you?

Speaker 2 Are the British looser with this? Are we more patrician or, you know? The British were the loosest country for comedy that I've... performed and still to this day.

Speaker 2 I've always said that like, like everyone always goes, what's the difference between performing in the different continents and countries?

Speaker 2 comedy is comedy laughs are all the same but the heckling changes so i believe that americans try to correct you if an america if an american heckles you they're always like hey buddy i'll tell you what my sister had bladder you know i mean they're trying to get into an argument or prove you wrong um australians are trying to trip you up So if you get close to a punchline, they'll just go, ah, a cunch!

Speaker 2 And they'll just yell something out so you can just get off your speed a little bit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they're niggly little fucks, right? And then

Speaker 2 then and then the british try to out joke you they try to say something funnier than you there's there's a classic story right that um

Speaker 2 down at the london comedy store uh kurt douglas's uh michael douglas's brother jeff douglas or something i don't know one of the other douglasses one of the other douglasses that was yeah

Speaker 2 One of the other Douglases, Kurt Douglas's son,

Speaker 2 he's having a bad gig at the London comedy store. He starts getting booed or a few jeers or whatever.
and so he tells them all to fuck off. And he goes, You can all off.
I don't need this.

Speaker 2 I'm Kurt Douglas's son. And then another, and then one person stood up and went, I'm Kurt Douglas's son.
And then another person said, I'm Kurt Douglas's son.

Speaker 2 And they did the entire scene from Spartagus.

Speaker 2 The British are very good. They're very good.
I have a quick story that involves the C word. So

Speaker 1 Spartagus used to be cancer, but we're changing.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 we're going to set the record.

Speaker 2 Anyway, this this is so random, and it'll amuse like 3% of our audience. So Kirk Douglas is in Spartacus, and he's really kind of buff and muscular.
And Lawrence Olivier is in there.

Speaker 2 So the guy sees Lawrence Olivier. He's this famous old British actor, super famous.
And he's doing leg presses really hard. They go, oh, Larry, you're really working out.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 He goes, I'm doing Spartacus, and I don't want that cunt Kirk Douglas to outphysicalize me.

Speaker 2 That's all I got.

Speaker 2 that was a legitimate use of the word from a story i was told yeah that's it that's an historical use of the c word did you see margo robbie at icebergs a lot

Speaker 2 Margo, what's iceberg? Oh, the icebergs, the restaurant in Bondi.

Speaker 2 Do you know about icebergs? Geez, you know. Look at me.

Speaker 1 Look out, Dana. Look at me.

Speaker 2 Where's Bondi?

Speaker 2 Bondi Beach is a populous beach that's close to the city center in Sydney, right?

Speaker 2 It's where all the British people get sunburnt and skin cancer over Christmas.

Speaker 2 But there's a restaurant there that overlooks like a public pool. The public pool has ocean water that pours into it,

Speaker 2 which is kind of interesting.

Speaker 2 It's a fancy restaurant.

Speaker 2 I've never met Margot Robbie. I'm a fan.

Speaker 2 I once was the other guest on Kimmel when Margot Robbie was on. Oh, really?

Speaker 2 You know how you're a guest on those shows. You never meet the other guests.

Speaker 1 You have to make a point of it because they're somewhere else. You You don't even know where they are.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they're in a different dressing room and then you've come on, then you leave or they've already left and you're the second guest and then they've, they're already in their car. They're gone.

Speaker 2 Right. So I've been on like episodes of those shows.
Bill Clinton was on one, never met him, right? You know, these, these different people.

Speaker 2 But Margot Robbie was the other guest. And so her dressing room was next to mine.
And I just sort of lingered in the hallway, just like acting like I was looking for something. Just

Speaker 2 I'm Australian. I have an in.
You know, I could have gone, hey, you know how to linger. You could hear

Speaker 2 she would have accepted me saying the C word in front of her. It would have been music to her ears.

Speaker 1 I'm a local. Don't you hate all these Americans here?

Speaker 2 That's what I would have said. Exactly.
I would have said something like that. But I tell you what, you've got to give it up.

Speaker 2 The Margot Robbie, flying the Australian flag, is there a, is there a better person on it?

Speaker 2 If the aliens came down and they said, give us your two best, not just looking, just your best human beings, and we gave them Hugh Jackman and Margot Robbie. Come on now.

Speaker 2 You can't get better than those two.

Speaker 2 That's true.

Speaker 2 Let's see. I'll see you, Hugh Jackman, and Margot Robbie, and Raise you, Jennifer Aniston, and Russell Crowe.
David,

Speaker 2 Russell Crowe is

Speaker 1 he saying Australian versus America?

Speaker 2 We're saying the two best humans. The two best humans we give to the aliens to represent us, to go, this is what we've got.
Okay, first of all, Russell can't bloody dance and tap dance and stuff.

Speaker 2 He's not a thick guy.

Speaker 1 That's true. He's a triple threat, that huge action.
But it can sing.

Speaker 2 That guy can sing. He's like,

Speaker 2 your buddy Brad Pitt. What's the woman? Yeah, Brad.
Yeah, well,

Speaker 2 Brad's brilliant. Yeah, of course.
You were talking about Brad off the air about how, what is he, 61 or something like that? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And he still looks amazing. Like, the fact that we have a 61-year-old, and I haven't seen the movie that we are going to watch drive a Formula One car and go, yep, that seems about right.
Like,

Speaker 1 yeah, when they're forced to retire at like 30.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 He should have a bloody special pass for the bus, Brad Pitt, at his age, and he's going to be driving a Formula One car. Sure.

Speaker 1 And Brad, and then Tom Cruise and Mission Impossible.

Speaker 2 I saw Mission Impossible. Yeah, I got to co-sign that movie.
It's brilliant. Tom Cruise.
I haven't seen the new one yet.

Speaker 2 Was he in the submarine for too long?

Speaker 2 Oh, it's the greatest movie ever. And then you're like, well, no, just see it.
Definitely see it. Yeah.
It's very cool. You know, you don't want to overblow something.

Speaker 2 But as far as that, like, you know, these people, they don't, they take care of themselves. We were talking about that before the podcast.

Speaker 2 The old-time actors, it was booze and cigarettes, and they died around 60. So for you, like, used to go, one of your early specials.
But we just said, we just said Brad Pitts was a smoker.

Speaker 2 And Russell is a smoker. And people, they're still smoking.
They've got some special, they're getting blood put into it.

Speaker 1 You're like the audience correcting us.

Speaker 2 Well, that's true. But recovery, you know, so I was going to, because one of your early specials really made me laugh.
The only one I ever saw do this a little bit was Ricky Gervais.

Speaker 2 But during the special, I don't know if there, it's kind of like a set. You would wander around and all of a sudden from behind something, you'd pick up another pint of beer.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I don't know how many beers you did throughout the special, but that's something I've never seen. I know you stopped drinking, but do you look at those days as any kind of funniness?

Speaker 2 Because to me, it really got my attention. Like, when's the next time he's going to grab a magic beer?

Speaker 2 Okay, so I didn't know that was going to be a joke. And I only ever did that for the special.
I never did that for my normal shows.

Speaker 2 I normally used to have my beers just on top of the box when I'm performing, just ready to grab.

Speaker 2 But because with a special, and I don't know if I'm doing some inside baseball stuff here, mostly we record two

Speaker 2 shows that night, edit it together, or just show the best one, right?

Speaker 2 And so

Speaker 2 they edited in every pint I had over two shows. So it did look like I had seven pints in one hour.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 right so I can't take credit I did not have seven pints in one hour now the reason that they were behind the box was for congenuity because the pint the level of the liquid going up and down

Speaker 2 and I'd be leaving empty glasses everywhere else so just before I went out they lined up for each show four pints of lager behind the thing now back in the day um people used to like go on about what a great drinker I was.

Speaker 2 I actually was a really bad drinker.

Speaker 2 I would get drunk very, very quickly. It just so happened in those first two specials, I was also on cocaine.
But if they asked, but that's the reason that was propping me up, right?

Speaker 2 And I regret doing that my life. And I, you know, if my child is watching this podcast many years later, I was an idiot, but that was why I could drink.

Speaker 2 So I gave that, I gave up all drugs when my son was born. When my son was born, I never took drugs again.

Speaker 2 He's 12 now. And

Speaker 2 I never took drugs again, but I continued drinking. And everyone just thought I was a bad drinker.
Everyone thought I was getting out of control. I was actually in recovery.

Speaker 2 So when you say like two lagers, like two pints.

Speaker 2 Then you were sort of drunk. I mean, like slurring and like

Speaker 2 I started slurring after three pints now. Okay.

Speaker 2 And so then I did some specials and I was just a dribbling mess in all the specials, but I was just, and so then my wife gets pregnant with my last child, who's who's about to turn four and I haven't had a drink since then so and I don't miss it at all any anymore not at all I don't miss any of it don't miss cigarettes don't miss alcohol don't miss drugs

Speaker 2 I regret doing all of them really I feel a lot better well I was noticing that you look younger than the last time I saw you basically I mean you look really good I'm not I'm not sweating as much as I do

Speaker 1 down you're more of a you know so but I've never seen you messy though I think when I see you it's maybe a more professional setting, but I've never seen you messy.

Speaker 2 Well, yeah, well, not anymore, anyway. But yeah, no, I just sort of knocked it on the head.
The cigarettes was the hardest one. That's the hardest one to quit out of the lot is this cigarettes.

Speaker 2 And I think that's...

Speaker 2 I read there was a book, Alan Carr, Stop Smoking.

Speaker 2 The secret to giving up cigarettes is this, is

Speaker 2 you stop envying people who are smoking. It used to be you'd give up cigarettes for a while, and every time I'd see a cigarette, I'd go, oh, geez, I wish I could have a cigarette.

Speaker 2 You got to start looking at them like they're slaves to nicotine and that you're free. That's the only way.
There's my motivational talk for the day. Oh, that's good.
Hey, I have another Kirk Douglas.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but this totally fits.
This fits better than the last one. The last one was good.
It was good. That fucking mustly cunt Kirk Douglas.

Speaker 2 I did a movie with Kirk Douglas and Burt Lancaster. So Kirk Douglas told me his dad was a chain smoker and then he quit.
And I said, Well, how did you do it?

Speaker 2 So his dad took a cigarette, put it in his pocket, and anytime he wanted a cigarette and he was Russian, he would pull it out and go, who is stronger, me or you?

Speaker 2 Me.

Speaker 2 He was so competitive that that just stopped it. Who is stronger? Me or you? Get back in pocket, cigarette.
I am strong, man. You are a fucking little rolled-up nicotine whore.
And that was the quote.

Speaker 2 I'm just quoting Kirk Douglas. I'm just quoting Kirk Douglas.
I was at nicotine whore back in the day, whoreing myself to nicotine.

Speaker 2 Has it influenced your comedy at all, like your stand-up writing, just being completely off everything? Because the specials you're talking about were really well received.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 the last few haven't been as well received. Once you've gotten sober,

Speaker 2 Sergeant Peppers was arguably the Beatles' best album, right? It was nonsensical rubbish. That was all on acid and stuff, yeah.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 I don't listen to the whole Lucy in the sky with diamonds. It was a painting, you know.

Speaker 2 Julian gave me a painting. I'm doing more Paul there, but you know what I mean.
You sat down for a plunk, you know. Satan, you did it.
We would plunk.

Speaker 2 John and I would look at each other sort of like a mirror. I'm just quoting him now.
So

Speaker 2 I love Paul.

Speaker 1 Are you an opera singer? Jim, before you get a chance to answer it.

Speaker 2 So this is a thing that always is brought up in my life. Yeah, I love it.

Speaker 1 Is it a fake one?

Speaker 2 So, no, no, it's true. It's true.
So, okay, so

Speaker 2 I did school musicals because that was how you met girls, right? If you're not, if you're not athletic, I went and you go and do a school musical, join the drama club, or whatever.

Speaker 2 That's my theory on why actors are so short,

Speaker 2 right? I think it's because they couldn't play sport at a high level, so they joined the drama club. It's all about meeting girls, right? So, I think, yeah, that's my theory, anyway.
Because

Speaker 2 so, so I went and did musical theater

Speaker 2 at

Speaker 2 school. And then there was literally like a talent scout came to one of the shows and said he could be a tenor.
And we don't have many tall tenors.

Speaker 2 And that's a really like a hard thing in the opera company. And so they sent me off to singing lessons with this guy called Richard Gill, who was the head of the chorus master in Australia.

Speaker 2 I sound like an old person talking about relatives you've never met. And I studied for a while.

Speaker 2 And then when I was 17, I was put in the Australian opera in the chorus for one production of The Flying Dutchman, which was Wagner. And so I was just like,

Speaker 2 like, I was literally singing in German, didn't know a fucking word of what I was saying. I was just buying.
I was just singing in German. Holy shit.

Speaker 2 Well, I was just buying a CD and just mimicking the German, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 And then, you know, they'd teach us the songs, but I didn't know what the songs were about or anything. So after that, I went and studied at WAPA.

Speaker 2 And WAPPA is the Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts, which is where Hugh Jackman studied,

Speaker 2 They had a full scholarship ride to study musical theater.

Speaker 2 By the time I was two years into that, I was already being paid to be a stand-up comic. And I just quit it in the middle of the night and just went off on tour.

Speaker 2 But I always wanted to be a stand-up comic, but I thought you can't study that at university.

Speaker 2 I wanted to study something in the performing arts. And so I studied musical theater.
And I would like to, I can't sing anymore because cigarettes and yelling on stage.

Speaker 2 And I've had polyps and nodules.

Speaker 2 kinds of nodules. I've done it, I've had the surgery and all that.

Speaker 2 You can hear me voice is pretty raspy now, but I could sing as a, and it's weird because everyone always goes, sing us a song when they find out you're an opera singer.

Speaker 2 And it's like you wouldn't have gone up to Pele

Speaker 2 when he was like, hadn't played soccer for 50 years and gone, go and do a bit of keepy upy.

Speaker 1 See a bicycle kick.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 So it's a muscle I haven't really worked, but I did do that. I still have

Speaker 2 a fondness for for musical theater. I still go and see any production that comes to LA.

Speaker 1 I go and see. Two follow-up questions.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 One,

Speaker 1 did that garner any puss? Because you went through a lot.

Speaker 2 Is that a new phrase or a garner or pussy? Okay, okay.

Speaker 2 I will say this to any young heterosexual man who can sing a little bit, right? Yeah. If you go to university,

Speaker 2 where they auditioned thousands of people to get like 30 kids, it was like going to fame.

Speaker 2 And half of the class is male and half the class is female. Those girls have been doing dance lessons since they were bloody kids, right?

Speaker 2 Singing lessons, acting lessons, all that type of stuff, right? All the boys have been doing the same.

Speaker 2 And the 30 kids in my year at university, I think out of the 15 boys, 10 of them were gay. And that just, the numbers don't lie.
That's too good.

Speaker 2 Yes. It kilts your way, for sure.
I'll tell you what, it worked a lot better better than being a comedian saying the word cunt all the time. Yeah.
I didn't bring as many women in as you think.

Speaker 1 You know, you could name your next special.

Speaker 2 Certain kind of woman likes that kind of talk.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they were fun girls who did like me, but

Speaker 2 they didn't come in their masses. Yeah.

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Speaker 1 Okay, here's your special, Jim. Ready? This is a new name.

Speaker 2 Here we go. Tall Tenna.
Toll Tenna. I'm calling my new special, it hasn't come out, it's called

Speaker 2 Two Limb policy is the name of the special okay

Speaker 2 because i i have and i talk about this on the special but because i did that sitcom with the disabled people a lot of disabled people come to my show i have a meet and greet after the show i always let the disabled people join the meet and greet and i take photos with all the uh different people with disabilities but i can't Like someone wrote to me and said, hey, I'm bringing my uncle to your show.

Speaker 2 He's disabled. Can we come back stage and meet you? And you can't write back how disabled.
Right. And you can't ask for a photo, right? But we have to have some parameters.

Speaker 2 I just can't have a lineup of people with fucking dyslexia bothering me.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 I have a two-limb policy. You have to be missing two limbs, or they have to be doing nothing.
And if you have two limbs that are fucked up,

Speaker 2 you're lucky enough to have a photo with me.

Speaker 2 Take a picture with this cunt. You're allowed to come backstage and meet this cunt if you're missing two

Speaker 2 Okay, that's good. I have a question also from the audience.

Speaker 2 At some point, we got to get to your show because

Speaker 2 we know you're the show is. Go ahead, Dina.

Speaker 2 You're on a little press tour for your show. Sure.
We can't forget our show.

Speaker 2 The snake. The snake.
I'm from Snake.

Speaker 1 I saw your billboard hogging fucking Sunset Boulevard.

Speaker 2 I'm not on the billboard. That's how it is.
That was an executive decision. What, David?

Speaker 2 What was your Fox show with with snake in the title last oh snake oil snake oil this is called the snake his was called snake oil

Speaker 2 we're part of the snake family of fox oh it is the same billboard yeah it's by the uh chateau merman yeah yeah so we uh we snake it up yeah um the snake is a reality show that's similar to uh big brother or survivor or fear factor it's got elements of those three shows um so it's it's good-looking people living in a house in the jungle doing tasks where they have to eat gross food.

Speaker 2 But what the secret sauce in the show is instead of like an elimination ceremony or where people get voted off anonymously, what happens is the person who wins the task gets to become the snake.

Speaker 2 They get the coveted snake medallion. And then if they get the snake medallion, they get to save the first person.
Then the person who gets saved gets to save one person.

Speaker 2 The person who gets saved gets to save another person. It snakes down the chain.

Speaker 2 setting up a chain reaction. So you don't have to have a majority rule to like you in the show.
You just need to make really one or two friends that will keep saving you.

Speaker 2 But you can't repay the favor. So if someone saves you, you've got to save another person.
So

Speaker 2 like you get a lot of skull duggery. You get a lot of

Speaker 2 skull duggery. Skull duggery.

Speaker 1 There's not enough skull duggery out there.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Well, I tell you, I was explaining this show the other day

Speaker 2 on some good morning something and I said the word skull duggery because that's what I was thinking about the show. And you know what skull duggery means, like pirates and stuff.

Speaker 2 Old English term. Skull duggery.
Yes, skull duggery. And the lady went, so if you want to watch the snake, there's a lot of skull buggery.
Buggery.

Speaker 2 Buggery is the English legal term for anal sex, right? Yeah, I saw that on the Churchill movie. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Remember that? Yeah. Exactly.

Speaker 2 The word buggery is like the legal term. The buggery happened, blah, blah, blah.
And so she just said on morning TV, come and watch some skull buggery. And I think it got through.

Speaker 2 I don't think anyone noticed.

Speaker 1 Look and everyone tunes in for that.

Speaker 2 Could I, just for a second,

Speaker 2 that, look, that's good. That's a winner.
So just for a second, going back, because I kind of spaced out for a second. So you're in Argentina, in a jungle.
Where is everybody? What are they wearing?

Speaker 2 And who are they? Okay, so.

Speaker 2 When I first, I said out at the start of the show, episode one, I'm standing on a crate and there's all these crates around me, which was meant to be like the crates you'd bring reptiles in.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? And I said, come out of your crates. you know, I've got an earpiece in, I don't quite know who's who.
And they opened the crates up and fair and incompetent, man, we had like,

Speaker 2 we had like, like a priest with the collar on. We had a, we had a cocklapproof vest.
We had a, we had a rodeo rider with the chaps and spurs and all that type of stuff. It's like the village people.

Speaker 2 Yeah, oh, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 And we had, and we had, um, I've got a village people story to tell you in a second. Okay.
So, so we had, we had, um,

Speaker 2 only an only fans model right i thought you know that jury duty yeah or the joe schmo show i thought i was the only real person and they were all actors for like the longest time they were tricking you they were tricking me but i

Speaker 2 okay i i was the mark i thought i was the mark to

Speaker 2 it's not a bad idea for a show right and i'm like I'm like,

Speaker 2 what the fuck?

Speaker 1 And you're in the middle of nowhere. You don't know what to do.

Speaker 2 Because

Speaker 2 first of all, who employs me to be a game show host? Like, it's already weird. And so, so all these people go.
And so, right up until the show aired, I wasn't completely sure.

Speaker 2 But I'll tell you my village people's story. So, I do another podcast with a comedian called Amos Gill, another Australian.
1% Club. Yeah, I do the 1% Club in Australia, but

Speaker 2 this podcast is called ATM. At this moment, it stands for.

Speaker 2 Different search on the internet. Anyway, so Lingo.
Yeah, Lingo. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 I forgot about the other one i got to research that again yeah so anyway so i uh i i was doing a joke about how trump has the ymca playing at all of his concerts at all of his benefits or rallies and everyone does the the dance and all that type of stuff right

Speaker 2 yeah and i said i said it's so funny that that that song is about having gay sex in the showers and now all these evangelical people are dancing and stuff to the song seems a little odd I got a cease and desist letter from the village people saying that I was going to be sued for defamation for saying that the village people music had gay overtones.

Speaker 1 Does it not?

Speaker 2 Victor Willis, who's the cop, I guess he was always out the front and he never turned around to notice the rest of them because

Speaker 2 he's married to a woman called Karen Willis. Before that, he was married to Felicia, Mrs.
Huxtable from the Cosby Show. He was married to her back in,

Speaker 2 yeah. And

Speaker 2 you're not allowed to say that the village people of music has gay overtones. What? Or they will sue.

Speaker 2 We get sued now, possibly.

Speaker 2 We could be possibly sued.

Speaker 2 I said, what about in the Navy and Macho Man? They're as gay as fuck. Come on now.
Come on now. Come on now.

Speaker 2 There's a lyric in the Navy called We Want More Seamen. Like, I'm all for a double ton, but don't try to tell me I'm a moron.

Speaker 2 I think they're just saying, come on, guys.

Speaker 1 Don't. I mean, they haven't been outed to like three people so far.

Speaker 2 It's a catchy freaking song, man. And it's good.
But tell you what, because after that, I started listening to their other music. It's banger after banger after banger.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 It's like, it's like, it's like for disco music, you can't stop the music is a hell of a song.

Speaker 2 I mean, that's such a hook. Now, my son, watching you in Wayne's World 2,

Speaker 2 yeah, he knows every step because he loves that movie so much.

Speaker 1 Did you do it in that?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he, you were the construction worker, weren't you?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was dressed the construction worker. I think we're running away from the bad guy or something.
Somehow, we end up in this nightclub, and Wayne and I are now doing YMCA with these people. Yeah,

Speaker 2 they're all doing

Speaker 2 the YMCA. And like, you're all spies.
Like, you were up a telegraph poll,

Speaker 2 and then you heard something. And then I think Wayne was like a cop, and then somehow they found an Indian for no apparent reason.
That's right. And all of a sudden, it comes together.

Speaker 2 And then all of a sudden, it was a little bit like

Speaker 2 what's that? Police Academy. And they ended up in the Blue Oyster.
It was a little bit of that. They ended up in the wrong nightclub.
And then they do it. But

Speaker 2 that's the dance because you guys all did it. And then you actually did the thing.

Speaker 2 And then I always say, like, if the village people actually do get me, if I get my day in court and I am being sued by the village people, I'm going to go not guilty. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Acted out. Is there any character left? I mean, they've got the construction worker, the Indian.
I mean, maybe you come as other costume. I don't know.

Speaker 2 He just comes as Crocodile Dundee just off the side.

Speaker 2 What is your son's name that loves that movie? Hank. Hank.
Hey, Hank, this is Garth. I got a different haircut, but thanks for watching.

Speaker 2 When we end the podcast, can he come up and say hello very quickly? He's downstairs playing video.

Speaker 2 You know, normally, Jim, that would be fine. Camera shy, just bring him up.

Speaker 1 We have to whisk Dana.

Speaker 2 Will he come on or you want to do it with off-camera? He's also a big Joe Dirt fan. Okay, bring him on.
Bring him on.

Speaker 2 Let's compare bots off.

Speaker 1 Joe Dirt was my first Australian trip. I went to Sydney.

Speaker 2 Oh, what? You filmed it in Australia?

Speaker 1 No, when they had a premiere there, it was the same. It was a night after the premiere of Moulin Rouge.

Speaker 1 And I went down there and I went to a concert and they sat me next to Baszlerman. All this

Speaker 1 great Australian stuff.

Speaker 2 He, uh, he, he, look, he still flies the flag. I always argue that things like I guess Mulan Rouge is an Australian film, Australian actress, Australian director, filmed in Australia.

Speaker 2 Kylie Minogue plays the Tinkerbell thing, it's an Australian movie as soon as Kylie's involved. Yeah,

Speaker 2 you know, right, Kylie's our Kylie. You can't speak ill of Kylie.

Speaker 1 No, no, I think she's great.

Speaker 1 I like how I have great.

Speaker 1 Australians are great. I do like it.
Go ahead, Dan. And then I have one last question.

Speaker 2 No, it's just weird sometimes. I was hosting the Vegas Showcase for movies, and Baz Luhrmann was there, Mulan Rouge, and Nicole Kidman.
So I was hanging out with them. It's just kind of weird.

Speaker 2 You brought it up, and that's my whole story. It's no joke, nothing, other than I met them at the promotion of the thing.
Well, I think

Speaker 2 it's a

Speaker 2 whore, nicotine whore.

Speaker 2 It brings two

Speaker 2 That was just for me. I'm a little punchy right now.
Like, back in the pocket, Jim, one last question.

Speaker 1 We're going to ask everyone again so you can have one more shot.

Speaker 1 This is a story from a viewer that said,

Speaker 1 If this is not a funny story, we'll just take it out. I don't know if this is a funny story from you.

Speaker 1 Your father sat you down, you and your wife, to tell you something.

Speaker 2 I can tell you that that off the air, but I can't tell it off the air.

Speaker 2 My dad doesn't,

Speaker 2 yeah, I can tell you off the air. I can't tell it on the air.
Sorry. Right.
Well, we have an after hours section.

Speaker 2 It's because my dad doesn't know how to get onto YouTube or anything like that, but enough, it will get back to him on this podcast. For sure.

Speaker 1 I didn't know what level of it was, but I apologize.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 it's 100% true. It's 100% true that story.

Speaker 1 I don't know the story. That's why I'm waiting to hear.

Speaker 2 We are going to, yeah, yeah, just

Speaker 2 tease. We don't need the story, but just the tease is going to trend.
Yeah, we like it.

Speaker 2 Hey, man, it's all about click. So let me ask you.

Speaker 2 I'll tell you this. Okay, we can cut it out if you want.
I can tell it to you right now if you want to actually hear it. No, I don't want to scare it.
I don't want it to actually

Speaker 2 somehow. No, we don't want to embarrass you.
I just think that we don't know how this works. Alex Murray tells you about this story because he knows he did.
Oh, okay. Because

Speaker 2 me and David have the same manager. So that's what's happened there.

Speaker 2 Well, I'll tell you this about the Carvey family, my childhood family with five kids and Bud Carvey and all that stuff that went on.

Speaker 2 Throw away the key because no one will believe it.

Speaker 1 There's some things we leave off.

Speaker 2 Some things we better not share. Just know that

Speaker 2 it's a little whack.

Speaker 2 Look,

Speaker 2 he's 84 this year. If I'm back on the podcast in a couple of years, I might be able to tell you.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Fair enough.

Speaker 2 give it some time

Speaker 2 2027 we're gonna hold you to that

Speaker 1 all right thanks jim we'll tell you

Speaker 2 man thanks for having us lads i really appreciate it

Speaker 2 so it's kind of nice we uh we just um

Speaker 2 finished up jim yeah jim jefferies who's been around for a while is really uh

Speaker 2 has

Speaker 2 I I found him very affable and funny,

Speaker 2 likable, interesting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like, like, you know, I met him before. I was giving him

Speaker 1 a shit about Brad Pitt because Brad, you know, Brad's a great guy. He's, he knows Jim.
I think he went on his show in the old days. Jim and I used to work on the same lot, I think, when I was doing

Speaker 1 maybe Lights Out or something. He was around.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 1 super cool dude and big. And he travels.
He goes all over the world.

Speaker 1 That sort of surprised me, the places he goes and how much,

Speaker 1 how much he can fill them up over there because who knows you just never know who knows you out there in the world

Speaker 2 it is kind of a thing yeah the international comedian who just can go all over i haven't done that you know i mean you you did australia yeah maybe i didn't do stand-up though i just went there to do premieres i didn't oh okay yeah

Speaker 1 I wouldn't know. I just, it's scary to go over there because I would love to go, but they said if you go the first time, don't

Speaker 1 you just go a small theater, just try to to fill it up just to see if it works and then you go back now people know you do it etc well i like the idea when he said that you can just you can just drive around the uk yeah

Speaker 2 if you don't like getting in an af lane you drive around the uk so that seemed kind of cool i mean in scotland i have relatives there distant i have mcdonald on one side

Speaker 1 but it seems kind of cool maybe we should do a little tour there i also like that he has disabled people come back from eating greet that was kind of a cool thing i I haven't heard before.

Speaker 1 It's a good idea.

Speaker 2 You know, because his stand-up, at least in the old days, I was going to ask about his new stand-up, but it was kind of rough and tumble. And then juxtaposing that, that he helps this disabled person.

Speaker 2 And then now he has a following backstage and does meet and greets. I mean, that was fascinating because it makes him

Speaker 2 well, it just makes him extremely likable, of course, and human.

Speaker 1 that that is his meet and greet and the two limb uh thing that can't have you have to have more at least two limbs not working yeah i still like tall tenor as a name that's a good name maybe not for the next one but it's a good special name because it's so odd that he goes they don't have many tall tennis

Speaker 2 when do you hear about an opera singing oh natalish tenner you ever gonna see

Speaker 2 my australian accent accent sucks right now i'll admit but i watched a show an australian show once with my wife and then i had it so good now

Speaker 1 if anyone can get it, you can. I can't believe they can do American so well.
Australian's a very tough one too to do.

Speaker 2 Right. We mentioned Margot Robbie in that conversation too.
And she also does a perfect American accent. Yeah.
I mean there's yeah.

Speaker 1 You know when they came over because I went to a speech coach for some movie to do a New Hampshire accent and She was like, I said when they come over, what do you do?

Speaker 1 She said, well, we say, are you from Brooklyn? Are you from Florida? Are you from Arizona? Are you from North Dakota? Like there's tiny differences all over. So it's not just American accent.

Speaker 1 They can have one bland one, but is it Southern? What kind of Southern? So there's so many ways to go with that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's like we'd be,

Speaker 2 Americans are enamored by certain accents. And of course, if you meet an Irish man, how are you going? You're sort of like, whoa, from those Irish movies.

Speaker 2 But I have Irish relatives who ended up in the Bronx in New York, and they'd seen all the score Saisi De Niro films.

Speaker 2 And the first guy that talked to them, like, like, hey, what are you two doing today? What are you doing over here?

Speaker 2 They were like almost weeping with joy that they're talking to somebody who'll talk to somebody.

Speaker 1 Oh, and it's really like that.

Speaker 2 To them, it was like amazing.

Speaker 2 If I had someone with a Liverpool accent, I'd be like, oh, wow. But they just love that, the exportation of the East Coast accent, all those mafia films.
It's huge.

Speaker 1 We almost got that story up out of them at the end, too, but

Speaker 1 I have a feeling it was a little rougher on the edges.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think the thing about Jim, he came to play. He was very funny, had a lot of energy.
And at the end, he goes, Was it all right that I talked too much? I thought that was kind of human.

Speaker 2 I know. Please.
I said, We love a comedian coming on. And here's a great story.
You know, the Russell Crowe restaurant story and stuff. So

Speaker 2 very much enjoyable.

Speaker 1 Well, thanks for listening. As you know, Monday, we have another show.
And if you have any questions for us, we will try

Speaker 1 to hear from you. Fly on the wall at odyssey.com.

Speaker 2 Odyssey.com.

Speaker 1 What are some subjects they can ask about, which is pretty much anything?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, I would think,

Speaker 2 how are you feeling about interacting with AI? Do you feel it's a good thing or it's going to take over? Are you frightened of it? Do you own Bitcoin?

Speaker 1 These are questions they can ask us, right? And then we answer them.

Speaker 2 You ask. We're experts.

Speaker 2 We're experts in every field. Maybe I got this.
I just want to know that. No, no, no, you got it right.

Speaker 1 They can ask anything they want. We just say.

Speaker 2 If you're thinking about marrying someone, man or woman, and you want to tell us the situation, if you have doubts, we will tell you whether to marry or not.

Speaker 2 We will maybe accidentally change your life with these questions or not. I'm not saying I have no ego about it, but feel free to ask us anything that's going on in your life.

Speaker 2 Or

Speaker 2 I guess, do we want to invite politics?

Speaker 1 Maybe anything, religion, politics. We have foolproof answers for everything.

Speaker 2 Nothing's off limits, and we do have the answer. David's nickname in real life, I'm just putting that out there, is the Oracle.

Speaker 2 When you need advice or a question about finance or life issues or anxiety and depression, how to defeat it, anything, the Oracle, a.k.a. David Spade.

Speaker 1 Hey, guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app, give us a review, five-star rating, and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend.

Speaker 2 If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now.

Speaker 1 Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung-Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.

Speaker 2 Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech.

Speaker 1 Booking by Cultivated Entertainment.

Speaker 2 Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hilary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira.

Speaker 1 Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email us at flyonthewall at odyssey.com.
That's audacy.com.