SUPERFLY #67 - Safe Houses & Soaking

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Happy conclave, Dana.

Amen.

Right as we're coming on to air, so-called so what

at this moment,

they've selected a pope and he's going to come out on the

thing.

And the guy's making the audience wait.

So, first of all, we know he's a procrastinator.

Second of all,

total rumor, total rumor that he wanted a bigger hat.

Is there,

Yeah.

He had a bat and he goes, is there a bigger hat?

And bigger hat.

Wow.

I heard he was coming out because I heard, y'all ready for this?

Y'all ready for this?

And by the way,

there's different types of people from all over the world, African, Philippines, that are in the running.

So, you know, I put your name in just as kind of a joke, but I think you made it in the final 10.

No, listen, I just heard them saying is it going to be progressive conservative or they said he they're also looking for a bit of charisma i was like are they though i've never really seen a pope that really jumps off the page i mean what are they it's a subtle definition i think charisma is i mean

but it's great as a as an as a mature adult i as a kid i would judge pomp and circumstance look at this joke whether it's a country or flags or everything.

And now I kind of go, yeah, it's necessary.

It is what it is.

Everyone dresses up.

It's like the inaugural thing.

And, you know, so it really is.

It looked like Lady Gaga in Brazil.

She got 1.8 million people.

I know.

Wasn't that crowded?

Half the crowd hated her, which is weird.

That's a lot of hate.

I could tell you that.

A lot of them were there for me for God.

Did you ever see the comedy team Pomp and Circumstance in Vegas?

No, that's not a real one, is it?

Yeah, yeah.

Pomp and Circumstance.

They played the Frontier Hotel, I think, in the 60s here.

I think they opened for Shields and Yarnell.

Shields and Yarnell.

Uh-oh.

Name drop alert.

Woo, woo, woo.

Gaddij.

That doesn't count.

Sorry, judges, name drop.

No, it doesn't count.

No, not enough people knew who they were.

I know.

Shields and Yarnell did a robot.

I know we're back with Donnie and Marie.

Go ahead.

Donnie and Marie.

Yeah, Donnie, I noticed I was in Las Vegas.

City drop.

I was in Vegas.

And Donnie is going out without Marie.

Thoughts?

Donnie and friends?

Yeah, that's a tough one because Donnie Marie was there.

That was a staple forever.

20 years, four shows a day.

I don't know how anyone does it.

I mean, Carrot Top, every time he's at the, he's at the, he goes to the stratosphere every day and just thinks of jumping off.

I just hangs out up there.

Just kidding.

I know Carrot Top.

Now, you know, about Donnie Marie.

I don't know if you know this because a lot of people don't,

but she's a little bit country and he's a little bit rock and roll.

That's I'm a little bit country.

I'm a little bit rock and roll.

That's their hit.

I didn't even know they have another one.

Rogging, rock, and country.

Okay, here's a name drop.

And now we're just mentioning this every second.

It's supposed to be a surprise.

Sorry.

Supposed to be a funny bit.

Yeah, editing capability.

It'll be funny.

I got a little excited.

So I got signed to an NBC holding deal in 1980.

I'll make this quick.

And one of the first jobs I got was to be a reoccurring regular on the Marie Osmond variety show.

So that was my thing before SNL.

Actually, Gavin McCloud was the guest host.

But anyway, Marie's on stage, and I come out like I'm the janitor, and I interrupt her.

This is a big TV studio.

The audience is.

This is what they brainstorm for you after seeing your act.

This is a reaction.

And I interrupt her.

I had a holding deal deal with NBC.

Ridiculous.

But anyway, I said, hi, we're friends.

We'd like to get a cup of coffee.

And Mormons don't drink coffee.

So the shut tape, start again.

Don't ever mention Folgers.

And this.

Oh, my God.

Were you ad-living?

I was ad-living, but I will say this.

She was absolutely adorable, delightful.

The only thing that happened that a little weird, she did a duet with Jeff Conway from Taxi.

God rest his soul.

But they stopped singing singing and then they kissed and kept holding the kiss so all the osmonds came from i didn't know there was 45 osmonds coming i was going maria maria maria so that's my story about maria osmo but i remember that i was watching and i was with my mom and i was a little kid and i'm like they're kissing then i go now they're soaking

It was on tape in Burpank.

It was probably on six months later.

I call bullshit on that.

No, we were in the audience.

and I go, Why are they soaking?

You know what that is, Dana?

It's a I do, it's a thing,

it's a thing we're gonna look up later, and you're not gonna like it.

I know it's not good, I know it's no, it's I know it's naughty, and it's not nice.

No, Dana, stay innocent.

That's why I like you because you're innocent and sweet, and you don't know about soaking.

I hate all these new things.

We had stuff like that: the guys as fast, or this and that, or they're

getting down.

You know, now it's like they're doing a spoozel-woozel.

I don't

The worst thing we had was finger blast.

By the way, this

don't buy the way me on that.

I throw that in.

By the way, the noise you hear up front is someone.

Obviously, no one cares about construction.

I'm building a third pantry.

It's also going to be a safe house.

I'm going to go in there.

I'll eat crackers.

Oh, wait a minute.

Well, hold on.

I know you're joking because that's your stock and trade, but I love safe houses.

Jerry Bruckheimer, once I went to a beach his beach house once he goes you want to see it see what the safe house and it was awesome it was in the bathroom but it's just sandcastle so i think you should

have sandcastle but no starfish ever penetrated the exterior he had it in malibu on the beach In his house.

It was just like, so there's alarms.

What do you do?

Stand your ground, get a gun.

You go in the safe house.

It's impenetrable.

You call, you have hors d'oeuvres.

You put a pizza in the oven.

So the one thing I did see, because Brad Pitt had a, I paused for the name drop,

had a

party once, and his door, this is where I get this idea, to his bedroom.

This is personal, I guess, but this is so smart.

Yeah, instead of a safe house, he had the doors were sort of made of steel, like very heavy doors, and then a bar across them when you go to sleep at night.

And so that's what I do, no joke, because

now if someone comes in, I don't get as scared because I go, they still have to get in here, and they can't.

And so, I get I've got a couple, you know,

next to the bed.

So, it will be, they will be uh hit up if they come in.

But

the price of fame, I know.

I think you think you're famous if you start thinking about safe houses.

Yeah, um, I won't say a location, but where I am, um, is this your safe house?

Well, we don't lock the doors

at night where you live.

Yes.

We don't lock the doors.

Although I insisted on having a lock on that door because it still goes through your head.

The last thing,

there's a lot of things you don't want in life.

You don't want to be audited.

You don't want to get a whatever.

But you never want to wake up and see someone you don't recognize standing at the foot of your bed looking at you.

The most I had before this was those circle doorknobs with a little push button in it.

And then that means it's locked right but i guess those are easy to penetrate so uh anyway i'll get back first of all this conclave traffic around my house is crazy today and you know what i hope it's because you weren't you were in the top 10 yeah because i was yeah just in general that sounds like a kevin eel and joke guys this conclave traffic but they're they're building next to me they've built on i've got a little skinny street in this crummy ass neighborhood and they they start putting a green fence on every house and i go oh no no that means green fence equals two years of building.

Trucks, people.

You know, trucks, cement.

They have a big drill bit today.

They're putting casings in.

Anyway, poor me, poor me.

Other than that, I have to go over a few things with you.

I have a few things too.

We have a lot of stuff.

Let's start with you.

We'll go back and forth.

If the Pope, Paul is going to, my wife Paula is going to text me if the Pope comes out.

So we'll be able to at least.

What if we went live?

That would be fun.

We watched it.

Yeah, we could at least you could text it live or heather could

superfly uh congratulates the new pope trini lopez jr right mate you know what we should ask every pope that's in the running to be on right now on superfly and they'll be you know flattered and then if the one that wins

i go you already said yes you're coming

That's a good strategy, isn't it?

Right.

We'll be the very first to invite him to our podcast.

Okay, let's do that.

When I get the message, we'll get the name, have Heather blast it out since we're working.

Yeah, I'll DM him and we'll say, I'll say, hey, man, don't try to big time us now that you're Pope.

When you were bishop, you were like, deal with the Pope, but now I don't know.

Can I say this for reels without any background on it?

Cardinal Sean O'Malley is a personal friend of mine, and he's there.

He's on TV.

He's a cardinal.

And he's.

And what does that mean?

What ranking is that?

There's about 135 cardinals, And they're kind of like, usually that's where they pick a pope from the cardinals.

Usually you're a cardinal.

Next up is the pope.

What's a bishop?

A bishop?

Well, king, the knights, what are we playing?

Chess?

Jesus Christ.

What's a rook?

What's a rook?

I'm not sure the whole thing.

I mean, there's Franciscans, there's bishops.

It's a global ecosystem of provinces and things.

You being a lapsed Presbyterian wouldn't know.

what's with the raspberry.

I just think it's funny that that was a description of me.

Okay, in movie news, two things.

First one, I did go see the accountant with Ben Affleck.

Okay.

I can tell you it's the accountant too.

Yes.

Twice the guns, twice the autism.

I don't know if you know the

theme of the accountant.

Ben Affleck.

He's kind of on the spectrum.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And he's...

He's not on it.

He's in the middle of it now.

He's in the middle of it.

Because I think he upped it a bit in this one.

Because the first one, it took me about 20 minutes to go.

He's moving a little stiff.

Like, I, whatever choices were, like, this is what this is.

Took it a little rain man-y.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, hey, you want my lunch bag?

And he pulls it away.

And you're like, okay, something's wrong.

Okay.

But then now he's real, he's barely functioning.

But it's, it's actually a good movie.

I'll say that.

He's a nice, he's a nice guy.

I'll just say, real quickly, I've met Backley.

I do like Ben Affleck.

I've met Ben Affleck.

I don't.

You're waiting.

We got to put these sound effects in.

We drop a name.

That's what we're doing.

This is funny.

Okay.

You'll see it later.

And you'll be like, oh, my God.

That's truth.

I did meet him.

He's a hell of a nice guy.

Go ahead.

I do not know him well, but I do like him.

Okay.

So the other thing was we have Jack Black on our sister podcast

right now.

I loved hanging out with Jack Black on.

And Jack Black, you talked to him about his movie.

you talked to him and you were predicting numbers and I have some numbers for you oh good good because I think I blew his mouth blew his mind and then he predicted several hundred million below me or that was his hope so what are the current numbers it's still creeping up I think you said

locally domestically maybe

300 and then international total would be a billion.

That's what you're saying.

That's what I said.

International.

I guarantee you.

I guarantee it impossible.

I guaranteed him that he was hoping for 700 international which is a phenomenally huge u.s the whole world 700 i told him by any way shape or form yeah great he is at 400 locally domestically he's at 480 international for a total of 880.

so he's already past his he's getting very close to dana's prediction and i can't see him not getting there.

I think it's going to have a B after it.

Jack Black is a winner.

He

doesn't go down for nobody, man.

So that guy's going to, because that's a billion-dollar talent right there, Jack Black.

Listen, this is on the map, and these are little game changers.

I mean, they're very few in the movie biz.

I think Nikki Glazer had a good one.

You know, you've been in the business for a long time.

She goes out and does the roast, jacks her through the roof, and then she does golden globes, crushes it even

more.

I see the theater she's playing and instead of one night, she's doing three nights.

It's like filling them all up.

It's great.

It's fun.

We're mature adults and we love our younger friends.

And when they go on that journey, you know, you see it happening with Nikki.

It's delightful.

Nikki's like my granddaughter.

Well, right, that's a cute little gal, I'll tell you.

No, but what can we go on and crush so we can play stadiums?

No, you never know.

I think just longevity is a very tough thing to do and it doesn't mess your head as much you're just scratching and scraping to stay somewhat in show business chris rock always says there's another one wisdom alert wisdom alert because chris rock says spade the wrong missy is one of the biggest hits ever on netflix and i said i can't believe it he goes it will buy you six months in show business that's it then they go where's the next one?

So

that's the world everyone's facing.

So it's very tough, but we have some friends.

They're doing great, and it is hard to keep clinging on.

Nate Brigatzi was on our podcast.

Brigatzi's on the roll.

Nikki Glazer, Burt Kreisner, we had Tom Smith.

I will tell you, I did see Nate on my trip.

I just took a trip to do

some talk shows.

You can't hear this beeping behind me, I hope.

Do you really hear it?

Yeah.

Why?

Because it's in my living room.

These people, Heather, go out there and throw rocks at them again.

It's every hour on the hour.

Wind up this time.

Go ahead.

M80s, half sticks.

So, oh,

I'm on my plane and I'm talking to Heather.

And then when I finish talking politely, I get a little tug.

It's Halle Berry.

Halle Berry, who we all love.

Of course.

Everyone universally loves Halle Berry.

And she always throws me crumb and talks to me if I run into her.

She was on her way to the Met and then the Cannes Film Festival where she was going to be a juror.

It's a tough word.

Juror.

A juror?

Yeah, she's going to be a juror.

Well, not in Los Angeles County.

At Conn.

Yeah, Con.

She's going to be a Jur.

She's not on the Menendez case.

She's in.

Three times in a row fast.

Go.

Jur, Jur, Jur.

Got it.

How about jur?

Is it the O, Juror?

Uh,

I think it's a juror.

Jiror.

Jor Ur.

Jur-ur.

Jur-ur.

I like just jur-ur.

Yeah.

It's like Ben-Hur.

Your Honor, this Jur-Ur here,

can Jur-Ur, number one, stand up.

This truck, I don't even know if this truck can go forward.

You hear the beeps?

Listen, all I'm saying is, are you wearing protective gear?

Because I'm seeing a Mac just coming into the front.

Is it coming through this green wall?

Coming through that wall.

Okay, in other news, I will tell you,

I was on Theo's podcast.

I wanted to apologize because he said a funny joke.

We were promoting the Amazon special that's on right now.

Theo does a lot of funny, but they're not really jokes.

They're like Theo.

No, he does funny statements.

Yes.

I think we were just discussing that his third-grade teacher was an ocelot.

that had no ribs.

And, but anyway, he did a joke.

And in the YouTube comments, they go, hey, you missed Theo's joke, and now I heard it.

I don't, you know, if we talk sometimes, we talk over each other.

Right.

I didn't hear it.

And tell me if you don't think this is a good one.

Okay.

Colin Kaepernick came up and he goes

more like Throza Parks.

Throza Parks is 10 out of 10 in my estimation.

And I didn't even hear it.

No, that's a great pun.

Isn't that a great joke?

People don't.

Kaepernick was a great quarterback.

And Rosa Parks rode on a bus, Rosa Parks, in the 1950s, to just a play segregation, both with the African-American movement and both pushing that's a brilliant pun.

Isn't that just out of the blue?

I was like, oh my God, and I missed it.

Anyway, apologies to Theo.

That,

and that's it.

I did Kelly and

Regis and Kathy Lee.

And

I want to go, where's Regis?

Would they get mad if I walk in with it?

Where's Regis?

Anyway, you ready for this?

This is Regis Fillman as an astronaut.

Houston, can you believe it?

I'm out of control.

I love Regis.

I miss Regis.

I'm talking a ground control.

I walked out of that show and went out in New York City and all the construction guys going, hey, yo, Regis.

Just me and Regis, sunny, beautiful New York day.

Hey, Regis.

He goes, can you believe it?

They love me, kid.

I can't believe it.

Everybody here loves the Regis.

I'm telling you, they really do.

It's

Trump, so people know it.

It is a little trumpy, but I like it.

Yes, it's a little trumpy.

That's the problem: is that when I first learned Trump, I went from Brando to Regis.

That's how I got it.

But if you're picturing each one, it all works.

Totally.

And it's fine.

Yeah.

You're brilliant.

I honestly, no joke.

Okay.

So that.

And

no, those are

oh, y'all, y'all, you got a lot of compliments on the Larry David on Fly on the Wall, where you were doing a lot of impressions and just saying funny things.

And Larry was having absolute crack up.

Literally, this is the way, and I said another thing, Bill Hayter and Conan were on their podcast, Conan's podcast, talking about how they do some of my off-label bits for,

which I thought was flattering.

I didn't mind at all.

I thought it was great.

So I said, I'll do it for him.

And then I met a human being because Larry David, you know, I I didn't know him really.

I met him once at a club, but you see him on curb,

and he's actually

not that guy exactly.

That is sort of maybe who he wants to be.

But I never met anyone with that kind of sense of humor.

I mean, I wish we had video on it, or Heather took a little video, so that's why I said, Oh, he, because his whole thing is never say yes when you're going to go on talk shows.

Why am I here?

Never say yes, and it's kind of a joke, but sort of real.

So that was fun making a yeah.

I think when he sat down, I said, Larry, I know you don't want to be here.

We don't want you here, but let's just do this.

And we don't want to be here.

Yeah, we all don't want to be here.

Let's just do it.

And he was quite funny, quite loose for being a big star with a lot of money.

He was really giving up laughs.

And that's charming.

Has no ego.

The only two things I wanted to say.

He says funny things.

When was the first time you knew this is how you're going to make a living?

Because I don't think he started stand-up till he was 30.

We missed that and all the frivolity.

And then I was just curious, like, what does he consume?

Like, movies, books, television?

You know, because Jerry, you need to watch movies.

No,

no, he laughs so hard.

He liked your Jerry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, because it was just one word.

But anyway.

But anyway, okay.

Well, anything else?

And then we'll get to some stupid clips that we show.

All right, baseball fans, here with Dana.

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Yeah.

Let me just explain this, Dana, real quick.

Well,

I'm going to calm down.

I'm a little excited, so go ahead.

Oh, it's fun.

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Hello, it's Lena Dunham.

I host a podcast called The Sea Word with my dearest friend and historian of bad behavior, Alyssa Bennett.

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It's a chat show about women whose society is called crazy.

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You know me on the go.

You are on the go.

And

how do you keep going?

I mean, that's the

glow.

Energy up, positive all the time.

Looking great, positive, good vibes.

Yeah, how do you do it?

I'm serious.

Cachava.

Oh, that's right.

Cachava.

Yeah, I get it.

Listen, this is interesting because I...

I like this kind of stuff.

And this has got, this is great.

They've got different flavors.

They've got different things.

I just right now,

i start with the chocolate all right but good idea i also add to it i put a little um

what i put in there almond butter maybe and a little bit of ice banana

and a little bit of banana not a lot i don't want it too sweet yeah yeah just a little and a little almond and a little almond milk and it's great and some blueberries yeah yeah grind it to a pulp

Hey,

you've tried the new strawberry flavor, I hope.

No, that's what I want to to try.

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Um, let's see.

I have,

well, this I just have to do because it's, I think it's Trump outdid himself with his funniness this week.

He's at a press, because you know, I don't always report on him because it's not all, you know, how do you talk, how does Trump top Trump?

So then he goes off on Alcatraz because he wants to.

It's a tourist attraction since 1963.

And he's just going on and on.

You know, they can't escape, and everybody loves Alcatraz.

It's a tough place.

I'll tell you that, Al Capo.

There he is.

Clint Eastwood was the only one to escape.

Many people don't know this, but you know, all Newman escaped.

Kulan Luke, you remember that?

They had it, but we're going to bring it back.

We're going to bring back Alcatraz.

And then he said something like, it's scary.

It's a scary place.

Law and order.

It's also sort of a weird place.

It's a weak place in many ways.

I didn't even know what he was talking about.

What is he talking about?

It's a weak place.

It's a strong place.

We're going to make it bigger and more beautiful than ever.

And he started just talking about the only guy tried to escape.

This is the exact quote.

They found his clothes and they were all torn up.

And there were a lot of shark bites.

There were shark bites.

Oh, they bite you.

I didn't know what that meant.

The guy tried to escape.

They found his tattered clothes and they found shark bites on the clothes.

Yeah, he got eaten and the shark

shark clothes floated to the

shore.

Actually, show that picture again.

Because when you look at the people that were in there or tried to escape, one of them is Machine Gun Kelly, and everyone thinks it's the rapper.

And they're like, no, that name was taken from

someone else named.

There was a real Machine Gun Kelly, right?

Right, a real Machine Gun Kelly, Al Capone.

They all went in there.

They all tried to escape, but there were a lot of people.

It was in the comments on the side, but you know, it's okay.

I get it.

I had a flight of fancy after I, because I was thinking Biden to Trump.

Forget politics.

just stylistically, it's been a little exciting for everybody.

So, the way America goes, it goes like this.

That's why Jimmy Carter followed Nixon.

So, the next president is going to be the most benign, and this is what I've called him.

This is my impression of our next president.

I'm Brian, I'm President Brian.

Listen to the calm of my voice.

Feels good, doesn't it?

I shall never mumble a scream.

I shall just be Brian.

Nice.

President Brian.

Now, David, breathe in the Brian.

Hold the Brian.

Release the Brian.

This message pay for for AI Brian for president.

That is a little howl.

Yeah, I'm President Brian.

I like it because I think that might, I don't think that'll happen.

I think that's, there's some truthiness to that.

But it will.

He met with the Canada guy.

Did that go well?

I didn't even see it.

They said Canada guy.

It wasn't as bad as Zelensky.

He did kept saying, we're going to take it.

You know, it'd be a great little state.

And the Canadian guy was very serious, going, Canada is not

for sale, eh?

Well, never say never, never say never.

You know, it's like that with a ruler, they put a big thing.

These are direct quotes across the border, and it's a beautiful shape, and we could do it.

We're still going to do it.

And the guy's sitting there, red faced, he's honoring Canada.

He's representing Canada.

And Trump's just going, no, we'll get you.

It's like that Robert Redford movie where he tries to buy Woody Harrelson's wife.

He's so rich.

And he's like, we're going to take your wife.

I was called indecent proposal.

And he goes, Woody goes, oh, she's not for sale.

He goes, yeah.

Well, anyway, I'm going to take her.

I'm going to give her a million dollars.

And he's like, no, no.

We have a great marriage.

And then she starts going, well, maybe for a million.

And it gets all messy.

I'll tell you that.

I saw that movie.

It was depressing because Woody Harrelson's character was crying and sobbing.

All right.

Here, news flash in the middle of our podcast.

And I have one more thing.

No, it's not conclave-related, is it?

Oh, it is.

New Pope, Robert Francis Prevos, P-R-E-V-O-S.

I just won 200.

Trump's going to be happy.

We've got

an American Pope.

What are they usually?

Oh, well, you know, they're Italian or they're Polish.

It'll be Pope Leo XIV.

Trump's going to love Leo.

We've got an American Pope.

We're going to take over the Vatican.

We're going to remodel remodel it.

We're going to do a beautiful job.

We're going to make it U.S.

territory.

Okay.

Here's

my final thing.

Go ahead.

Bill Gates announced that this is the quote.

He, or from Daily Mail, he's snubbing his kids.

He's giving away 99%.

of his money.

He's snubbing the kids.

But what's left in the 1%

is 1.6 billion.

He has three kids.

They'll get 550 million each.

And that's cost.

And his oldest son said, bunch of fucking bullshit, man.

Yeah, why are you trying to rap fuck me?

Bunch of fucking 500 million

million?

Dude, I can go to Coachella maybe once.

Yes.

I can go to Erwan twice.

He has six private jets, two Gulf streams, two Bombardier challenges, but he's terrified of climate change.

So what he does is he has a company called Direct Air Capture.

So, they suck this.

They suck the CO2 out of the sky.

So, I can fly jets anywhere I want.

My company sucks the C2O out of the sky.

They're investing in chemtrails.

Let's be honest.

I mean,

oh, yeah.

Well, listen, bless his heart.

Six jets.

I wish.

I wish.

Well, it's kind of like Al Gore is the original because he is like the pope of climate change.

Yeah.

And he, you know, and he buys offsets i buy offsets on my private jet so they plant a tree and that sucks the theot that i put in and the reporter said well can't you just fly southwest and still pay to plant the tree yeah and

he said quote well that doesn't sound like so much fun yeah it does not i'm on southwest a lot it's not that fun i flew southwest i kind of liked it i bring a tree to the private jet airport and i go can i jump on if i hold this tree and it'll cancel each other out

carry a flower on the private jet and swish it around.

Anyway, that's all I got for you today.

This has been Dana Dawson with my guest, David Spade.

Myself, I just muted myself.

You muted yourself.

I haven't muted the whole time, I hope.

Okay, more stories.

We got time.

We did good.

That's good.

We're doing great.

I'm having fun.

That's all I go by.

You're doing great, sweetie.

Okay, do you remember the Carol Burnett show?

That's what I think Chris Jenner says.

says you're doing great sweet that's funny uh

this is Carol Burnett show which I grew up watching sitting in front of the TV as a little tyke but this should be what uh do you have a question Heather

oh oh it's okay well I just want to let them know that you've bumped into your tour manager maybe at some point during Super

Oh well

the tour your tour manager story

Oh, what is it?

Tell your story.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

I sent Greg the video.

Oh, we'll send show the video.

Oh, I drew.

I'll tell this.

I'll do Kale Burnett first.

Yeah, you're right.

I'll tell you.

Yeah, you're right.

Let's do it.

That is funny.

So we'll quickly.

Kale Burnett's show was interesting because I don't think they do it anymore.

They take questions.

So she took questions at the beginning.

You remember this?

And this lady has a great delivery, but you never know what you're getting.

I feel like this is all real back then.

Like no one was a plant.

No.

And they used to make her scream this Tarzan scream.

But other than that,

this is an interesting question I saw.

I thought it was funny.

Crowd thought you'd like it.

Here we go.

What kind of soap do they use to clean the floor?

Okay, so Carol Burnett is.

So that's actually a good, interesting question.

Yeah.

Very specific.

I think that's a little personal.

Good answer.

It's cute housewife.

They have a vinyl cleaner.

Vinyl cleaner.

Do you want to tell the lady what it is?

Do you have a vinyl four at home you want to clean?

Is that it?

Yeah.

Where is it?

In the bathroom or the kitchen?

All over.

You have vinyl all over your house.

Great answer.

All right.

That was a good.

That's cute, right?

That's it.

That was.

Yeah, go ahead.

I've

met Carol Burnett, and

I was doing the Larry Sanders show,

and she was on next, and I was leaving, and she came through the door.

We're in the side of the studio, and it was so flattering for me at that time.

It was a thrill.

She just put her arms out and said, Dana.

It's always amazing when your idols, one of your idols knows your name.

I know.

I ran into her at the Beverly Center, and she said, Dana.

That was what I was going to say.

Oh,

I jumped you.

Sorry.

No, it's funny.

She goes, dana and then she went up to the uh guy that runs the elevator and goes dana

no she is a legend and uh that that term is thrown around and i'll just say this for 30 seconds because we don't talk about her we'd love to have her on the podcast she still should be for zitac

uh somebody who gets harvey cornman and tim conway as your sidekicks is very secure She was the reason the show was great is because she could share the stage and then be brilliant herself.

That's all.

And Victoria.

Even that.

Her doing this crowd work and laughing.

And someone says it like three jokes in a row.

Yeah.

And she just laughs at him.

Well, Tim Conaway would just destroy them.

He'd have secret things planted for the real, kind of their

in the real Hollywood, she would have him fired immediately.

Yeah, anyone get the lens.

They wouldn't come back after summer if they were getting real.

You kill like that in front of the star.

Bye-bye.

Yeah.

Yeah, but she, we can say, you know, Dick Van Dyke, I'd like to talk to you on here too, sometime, just to hear the whole history of his life.

He's, he's sort of a.

I watched,

what's it, The Night at the Museum with Ben Ben.

Was he in it?

Yeah.

And Dick Van Dyke was in there with Mickey Rooney, and they were hysterical, especially Mickey Rooney.

And the movie just holds up.

It's just a great, funny idea.

Ben Stiller is so good at playing the reactive straight man that then turns and gets kind of snarky.

That's a fun part.

If you can do it right, the straight man is very important.

And then he's really funny.

What do you get to do?

You know, he's got,

they create such an underdog.

And then, so it's a great.

And he does severance, which is a whole different.

Well, now he's turning into Stanley Kubrick or something.

He's directing.

People fucking.

We should have Ben back on and talk about Severance.

Oh, yeah, we should talk about that.

You're right.

Ben.

Okay, so he's.

This is how we get guests mostly.

It's just,

I just heard on the podcast.

So do you want me to come on?

We're like, yeah.

All right.

What's the next stupid story?

It's never cute.

And then I want to hear your road story.

Oh, yeah.

This is

Palm Space.

Go ahead and read it.

So this guy's a Palm Springs

career panhandler.

Oh.

And he's good looking.

So someone filmed him and said, this guy should model.

So someone contacted him and he said, I don't want to model.

Leave me alone.

I want to do this.

So here's his story.

Professional panhandler patrols the streets of Palm Springs.

He's going viral now for two reasons.

One for his chiseled good looks, they say.

Another for his bold and shameless stance on the way he makes his money.

Yeah, that's Brad Love.

He describes himself as a career panhandler.

He was recently spotted by LA-based photographer who suggested Brad go into modeling.

Well, Brad says he's not homeless and he has no interest in modeling or any other kind of job.

Well, he says he's had jobs.

He's even been a nurse.

But asking for cash on the side of the road is just easier.

He also has a cash app account.

He advertises to his 20,000 TikTok followers.

It's not clear how much love makes on his street hustle, but he did post a clip claiming he made about $260 in just a couple hours last month.

Well,

that's not going to set you up in Palm Springs.

I'm kind of calling that a little bit fuzzy.

Like, does he do it eight hours a day?

Does he live on the street?

I mean, how does he afford his apartment and everything?

He must be getting more than that.

Well, not just in a couple hours.

What Panhandler has a TikTok?

What is it?

TikTok?

What does he have?

20,000 followers?

And a Cash App.

So what happens is sometimes people will put in their Instagram bio Cash App in case you want to give me money to help me pursue my dreams of being a

boy.

He seems like a nice young man.

Let me get my phone here.

All right.

What's his name again?

No one stops me from modeling.

What are you going to give him?

How much?

Oh, shit.

I slipped with the zeros.

100,000 just went out.

No, Modana.

I know.

Way too much.

Look at me.

Don't say, oh, Dana, I'm the one who lost the money.

Well, what about he did?

He did look like sort of Johnny Depp first-year jump street.

Well, he's got a $700 haircut that swoops down on his, you know, so I don't know.

He is dreamy.

Smells like poop, but dreamy.

All right.

So, okay, here's the story of my.

My new tour manager.

So when I'm in New York, I say, hey, I'm promoting the

dandelion on

Amazon.

My special, yeah.

So it was coming out that day.

So I said, hey, guys, we'll show the video, but I go, here's my new.

Do you have a video?

If you have one.

Hey, guys, David Spade.

I got a new special on Amazon.

It starts tonight.

I got a new tour, DavidSpade.com.

Here's my new tour manager, Billy.

We worked really hard on the special.

So do you know who this is?

I can't leave New York.

Therefore, I am the best person ever to lead an international tour.

That's right.

Mexico, here we come.

They'll kill me.

We we can't go there some

free cheese sandwich

okay so good we put that on because good this is the guy from the fire festival that we've talked about he did the one fire festival years ago i didn't recognize i knew he was look familiar right so he does it years ago obviously it's a catastrophe they gave away cheese sandwiches there was not what i want to advertise they paid all these models a million dollars you know millions yeah got a lot of money a great documentary because it's such a shit show right so he comes out of jail he does it again fire festival 2 i think we talked about it hyped it up hype it up i think packages are up to a million they had no lineup at this point you know it's just like i think it's like the cart before the horse they get the money then they can pay the yeah right right that's sort of like a reverse ponzi scheme or something like that right a little made offee whatever anyway He's trying to do it.

He's working with some people, put it together again.

They check with mexico mexico cities are like we have no idea what's going this is there's no permits so it starts to fall apart again so i thought oh it'd be funny if i got that guy's mind to a major because obviously he's not maybe the best for the job right right so we shake him out of the brush and he comes out as a joke to be funny and says he'll do this so then

I think everyone will think it's a joke.

And then nobody did.

They go, oh, this guy is your.

Why would you pick this guy?

He doesn't, he's collapsed too much.

Let me ask you a question.

Did I see it correctly?

I mean, does everyone who see that guy, is he that recognizable that they knew it was the fire?

Well, that's true.

I put at the bottom Firefest 3,

and then I put

his tag, and then I put cheese sandwich, and Mexico is where we seems like you almost should have introduced him and said that he, you know, just did the, but yeah,

I mean, honestly, it slipped through the cracks because TMZ

hit my PR and said, hey, Spade hired this guy.

You know, he's not great at this, but we're going to run this story.

And I'm like, no, I think that's good.

That's good.

No answer.

I should have said anything, but

I thought it was real.

Yeah, I should have said, I'm not at liberty to say I really don't want to discuss it right now.

Right.

I thought they would put it up and just say it was a joke because the guy keeps asked, getting asked to be on talk shows.

He won't talk to anyone, but then he's like, yeah, I'll come do it.

So he was very funny to do that, even though obviously people some were mad that i did it with him of course let me talk to the fans for just a second because i'm looking at you now you know he should have mentioned the guy was from the fire fest so it would have been viral but he he didn't so i'm back to the podcast i know

i have to say hey you i recognized him he was about two feet taller than i thought he'd be but

I recognized him and I put Firefest 3 on there, but all right, let me talk to the fans for a second.

Okay, real quick.

I won't listen.

So anyway, I take it back.

It was a good video.

He's touring.

His specialist called Danny Lion, but still, it should have said Fry Festival Guy or whatever.

Fine.

But David didn't do that.

Let me, I'll be back to you.

Let me go back to the podcast.

So, Dana, listen, you're winning.

Twice is enough.

No, it's good.

I like that when you can talk to the crowd.

You can talk to the crowd.

No, your camera's too far away.

Can you look at the, in the lens?

Oh, there you go.

Yeah.

Maybe we don't get that close.

I know.

It's a little rough.

I don't think I even need this light, Heather, but next time we'll talk about it.

It makes my forehead too bright.

1%.

Oh.

God, will someone step on your tail?

Frustrated assistant for 900, Bub.

Yeah, I just heard, get fucked.

Well, 1% is 1%.

How low could she go?

She's like,

by the way, David,

when we do these long super, you can put on sunglasses.

You know, Bill Maher, when Billy Maher, my buddy, William Maher, he'll wear these indoor, outdoor sunglasses on his, you know, club random thing.

So you can wear those, and then they could put the lights a little brighter.

I do, but you know, sometimes the brighter light isn't the better because it makes my forehead bright.

Because I'm going to paint this blue behind me and put a shelf.

And so we're going to see some real fucking upgrades.

People are going to be like, hold on.

No, I have a curtain kind of mostly closed.

Too much light's not good either.

Anyway, well, it's all

going to be in my special.

Yeah.

lights on.

How about lights?

Mine's going to be called lights, camera, not that much action

about my sex life.

Okay, let's show one more story.

No, a couple more stories.

We got time.

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So Stab and Cabin came from the 1940s?

Is that

seems like something Spencer Tracy and Kate?

I'll meet you at the Stabin Cabin.

I don't think she would say.

It was more of an agent.

William Morris about 15 years ago said, I live, I'm married, I live in Malibu, but I also have a stabbing cabin in town.

Well, did you ever see the movie The Apartment with Jack Lemon and Shirley McClain?

No, I'm young.

Okay, it's exactly about that.

It's so out for its time, could never work in 2025.

But they have this apartment and they rotate.

All the guys that work rotate, and then that's their sort of rendezvous point with someone not to.

Rendezvous.

I like how you water it down.

Good job.

Yeah, I like that.

By the way, my mom saw my special.

I was not warned.

She goes, oh, I woke up.

I watched on Jimmy Fallon.

They bleeped something, first of all.

I don't know.

That was either on Kelly Ripper or Jimmy.

They bleeped something.

Heather, do you even know what that would have been?

And then maybe when I was talking about Bill Belichick, but then,

and then we, and then she goes, I watched a special.

I go, mom, relax, pace it out.

And she said, okay, oh, it's so fun.

She's laughing.

Of course.

In full disclosure, she's a great audience.

I can do no wrong.

Well, no, I love just that phrase.

It's fun.

Oh, so fun.

Oh, it's fun.

You're doing fun stuff about fun things.

So I said, great.

And then she goes, oh, I just got to the part.

You knew I wouldn't like this.

You knew I didn't like it.

A little naughty below the waist.

Toward the end, I go, oh, yeah, that's.

Was it a self-pleasuring joke or a...

It was, I think it's just basically

the setup is something like, it's getting hard.

Do you find it's getting hard to watch porn on an airplane?

Oh, right.

Yeah.

It's not impossible.

It's just

a little trickier.

Yeah.

It's a funny setup, right?

I mean, I guess.

But I mean, I guess crushing laughs and applause.

Well, no, the premise is very funny.

I'm sure you worked really hard to follow it up with actual jokes.

Yeah, I did.

The jokes are about porn, which is where I lost her.

But,

oh, Davey, you don't need that.

But my takeaway from this entire podcast, knowing you and your mom's relationship and everything and how sweet she is, her going, it's so fun.

Oh, I mean, that is so sweet.

I mean, when I come to town, I go, she goes, what happened?

I go, well, I landed at the airport.

She goes, oh, fun.

Oh, fun.

Right.

Then I go, I rented a car.

I was on the, I got on the 10 and she goes, oh, fun.

I go, what's fun?

The freeway?

It just sounds like a fun thing because you're on a journey and you're going to do something fun.

Fun is her word.

It is.

It is.

It's great.

And then anybody she meets, oh, she's fun.

Oh, you'd like her.

Oh, it's very fun.

She's a fun cookie.

She's a smart cookie.

She lives in the greater Phoenix metro area.

David Spade's a child, and she's got a lot of fun to say.

No, I mean, your next show

is called Fun, Exclamation Point, Fun, Exclamation Point, Fun.

Exclamation Point.

Yes.

I will talk about my mom.

I will tell things about how she gets on Facebook so much that when there's an ad for three-day blinds and it says like 30% off this weekend, she comments, ooh, that sounds good.

I go, Mom, are you commenting on a commercial on an ad?

I don't even know if you can do that.

Yeah, it sounds like a good deal.

I was just getting the word out.

Everything in life, like they just, the restaurant decided to comp you this elaborate dessert.

Ooh, that looks fun.

That looks

good.

She's the most positive person in the world.

So how do we explain you?

She takes pictures, takes pictures at dinner.

We sit down.

She goes, Oh, it's the whole family.

Take a picture.

Go.

And it's like, we're sitting down.

And she's like,

and then I'm like, mom, let's just get settled.

We'll get a waiter over here.

I go, I get a notice.

Oh my God, you already posted this on Facebook.

Yeah,

it's a good one.

I go, Mom, we're not even in focus.

It's all blurs and shapes.

She goes, I know.

I go, you have to run it by us before you post it.

She goes, no.

She's like a human Labrador retriever.

You just know she won't read it.

She goes, no, I'm not.

Will she come on this podcast just she will she's super sweet she loves you she'll do it for you have her just come on well she she sure she looks incredible i can send her some of my fancy pants lights she always goes oh i'm laughing at the podcast and dana oh the dogs are laughing everyone loves it

That's funny how the parents are like very sweet.

Yeah.

They always, oh, that David Spade, let me tell you.

They don't say whether it's good or bad.

They go, oh, that David Spade.

They go, he's a real piece of work.

What does that mean?

He's a real character.

Oh, yeah.

Sounds negative.

You know, David Spade, his special just came out.

He could be a dandy.

He's a real dandy.

I'm going out and filming dandelions.

You know, I realize you say I'm sorry.

Is it out right now?

Okay.

I'll watch it as soon as you think.

Well, I'm going to watch it as soon.

No, you saw basically

this podcast.

The last

corporate we did, that was a lot of it.

Minus the dirty.

Yeah, but I don't go out in the audience, so I'm kind of in the where it's all I can do.

You hear me act like this.

No, what I hear is

then I hear big laugh.

Then I hear,

then I hear kind of a little laugh, and then I hear you go,

and then a brief laugh.

Then you hear this,

you're like, oh, he's doing a sound effects joke.

Then I hear this very clearly at the end.

Sorry, that's all I got.

Good night.

Sorry, now the guy you came to see.

Tata.

No, I opened for you in Indianapolis.

And then, no, you opened for me in Indianapolis.

And that wasn't easy.

And then I opened for you in Indio.

Yeah.

It was great.

Both great shows.

I had a blast.

We got to do more of those.

They're fun.

Chris.

It's fun to have your friend do it.

That would be you.

And then you don't have to do 75.

I did a

casino.

Whoops, sold out.

How'd that get out?

But

they said they know which one you're talking about.

They wanted 75.

And so when you go in the

hinderland, it's like 20 miles west of Salem, Oregon.

You've got very appreciative.

Yeah, you've been there.

You get a very appreciative, incredible crowd because you're the only show in town.

It's you and some hieroglyphics.

But I've been to that one.

It's very good audience.

It's just a little bit of a hike, but you get out there and it's once you're out there, it's funny.

Spirit, Spirit Mountain.

Oh, I thought it was Table Mountain.

Was it?

Well, there's a lot of

Native American casinos that want to hire us.

Yes, and they're great.

Great group.

I think, but do you ever bring an opener?

Sometimes.

This time I didn't.

So you have to fill the whole time.

Well, on the sheet, it said show length 60 minutes.

You get a little rundown for when you do these gigs, folks.

White sheet.

It says set length 60, show length 75.

It's like, wait a minute.

So

they're providing a local opener from Salem, but no, actually, set length 75.

So I did 74.30.

I just lucked out.

I did everything I had.

74.30.

Did you really?

I looked down and I go, oh, timed it out.

Well, when you know you have 75, you kind of embellish.

You don't rush, you just take

usually show lengths on the road for theater stuff are an hour and a half.

So you have people do time.

I have one or two openers.

I do time, but I usually do an hour.

But when I do corporates, 45 is plenty.

45 is good.

I actually did a private party and I did 50.

I played in front of a waterfall and no one in the audience was within 100 feet of me.

It's so funny.

I know.

And they were really nice, but it's like they don't really, this is not like ideal.

But this happened to me just because

I'm a child of the 50s.

So I'm just doing my set.

I'm kind of being animated because they're really, I'm just tagging stuff because they're such a hot audience.

And then I got a stabbing pain in my inner thigh.

And I like, I couldn't really walk for a bit.

And I had to kind of fake it and kind of work it out.

Do you ever just say that?

Yeah, it's really weird when you're about to go on.

One time I was choking on some celery backstage right before I went on.

It was stuck, stuck in my throat.

Not choking, but like I can't swallow.

I know.

I've had stuff.

It drives you nuts.

I had an eyelash in my eye right before I go on.

And you're like, these are the little things in life.

You just take care of it.

But you can't do anything.

You can't pee.

You can't.

You can't be funny.

Yeah.

If you fucking stop for five seconds, I'm like, what's wrong?

What is he doing?

Yeah.

I was right in the wings at Cobb's Comedy Pub in

Cobbs Comedy Club in San Francisco, 450-seater,

waiting to go on.

I talking talking to someone, and I bit my tongue.

No.

And I'm bleeding profusely as I hear.

Ladies and gentlemen, you know him from Saturday Life Live, Glenn of Farfo, you know, and I'm coming out.

I'm just swallowing blood for about 20 minutes till it coagulated.

Yeah, coag.

You know him from his podcast, whatever it's called.

His mouth is bleeding.

He has a temperature of 104 and he can't feel his feet.

Let's bring him out.

You know him and you love him.

And does anyone have a tourniquet?

He just had a knee replaced and his shoulder is made of silicone.

David Spade.

David Spade, he's high as a kite on biking.

And here he comes.

David Spade, he'd only see out of one eye and

his hearing ain't very good either.

David bring him out.

Some lucky front row customer is going to get a coughed up piece of celery in about 10 minutes.

David Spade, he's

underprepared.

He doesn't have an act and he has no short-term memory.

Let's bring him out.

He's bleeding from the back of his neck.

Get ready to hear every joke three times.

He just got stabbed.

Let's bring him out.

David Spage.

You know him.

You don't know why you love him.

And here he, actually, Catherine introduces me.

She goes,

you know him from The Wrong Missy and Joder and grown-ups.

And if you don't, you're in the wrong place.

That's not bad.

That's not bad, right?

They had me.

They call it the voice of God.

So you have a mic mic on stage.

They go, do you want to do it?

So I had to do it for myself.

God, you're a one-man band.

So it was all, yeah, no one's in the ladies or channel.

Yeah.

I just said, he's not very good.

Keep your expectations low.

This next guy.

Yeah.

Just had a cell.

Well, I have to ask, because it's when you first said it, really?

A celery stick?

Right?

I have celery backstage with like a veggie tray.

And I chew it up and it gets a a little stringy, whatever, it gets stuck.

That's twice it's happened.

And I'm like, no celery before I go out.

Nothing.

You shouldn't eat.

One thing.

You shouldn't eat anything.

I mean, one thing I've done lately is I'll just have a little bite of Hershey's chocolate just because of the energy.

But I used to do this thing.

I'd get a craving.

for corn on the cob with a lot of butter and I'd be eating that in the wings.

No.

Corn on the cob.

And I would come out with cobb and corn just like all over my teeth.

And finally, one of the club owners said, dude, you shouldn't have the corn of the cup before you go out.

I mean, David Spade was in here last week just chewing on celery and two people vomited in the front row.

No one could understand him.

How many times have you pooped your pants on stage, roughly?

I mean, recently?

Yeah.

Poop my pants on stage.

You made me actually a considerable.

I have one time

because you get one time in Dallas, I got sort of a panic attack.

Well, I didn't.

No, I didn't do number two on stage.

I have had

some warnings, but I didn't, nothing ever happened.

But when I was in Dallas about two years ago, I was on and I was, I started to get a panic attack.

Weird.

Right at the beginning of the tour.

I'm looking out.

I've been in a screen or anything beforehand?

I think I did, yeah.

And I was like going,

and I started looking around going,

and anytime you're thinking of anything other than your act, like, I don't want to connect eyes with the audience.

I kind of, because you're thinking of so many things and you're evaluating how it's going.

And then you're like, I want to jump to that joke on my set list.

I shouldn't do that one.

They won't buy that.

You got to to jump.

So, there's a lot going on.

But when you stop, I stop and I go, Oh my God, what if I freak out?

I started getting like panicky, and I look over to see if Bobby's there.

And I'm like, What would I do?

Walk off and try to calm down?

It's terrifying.

That's the weird part.

And of course, we're very blessed and lucky to do this for a living.

But there are tales about it because the show must go on.

And I always say, Well, maybe the show doesn't have to go on.

Maybe the show sucks.

But the other night, one of my gigs,

I don't drink Coca-Cola in life, but I do drink a little bit of Coca-Cola for our go out.

Same thing with the chocolate, just to get up.

To wake up, yeah.

But the show's delayed, so I'm drinking Coke and I'm drinking more Coke.

I'm a little lamped up.

And then suddenly I start to feel hypoglycemic and a little lightheaded.

And I thought, you're thinking, where is this going?

Like,

if this keeps extenuating.

Then you scare yourself.

Yeah, and then I may not be able to go on, you know, so, but then I just shook it off like a man.

You took a poop in your pants and you got up there like a good performer.

Well, did you ever poop your pants in grade school?

I'm sure you did many times.

I listen to this.

I told a legitimate friend of mine

who said, driving to my house after lunch, he goes, oh my God, I didn't like that place.

I go, you didn't?

I thought it was pretty good.

No, he goes, I shit my pants on the way home.

I go.

I'm sorry.

Aren't you 44 years old?

And he was not surprised.

And I go, have you ever done that before?

And he goes, probably about once a month.

I go, I'm sorry, what?

I think you should get some medical attention.

I'm sorry, what?

Like you said, did you ever in fourth grade?

I'm like racking my brain.

Maybe.

I sort of have a handle on it since then.

I don't love it.

Sometimes it's a corner.

Once you turn nine, you were.

Yeah, I go.

I got it.

Yeah, I got it.

I don't pee.

Did I say this on the podcast before?

Car trips with my dad, the whole family, seven of us in the station wagon.

Right, Stana.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

And he was going to Zephyr.

He'd He'd call it Zephyr.

We tried to get to Winnemucca, Nevada, from San Francisco Bay Area.

Oh, we're going to Zephyr.

So if we'd stop at like, you know, Sambo's pancakes or something, he'd finish and just leave.

So he didn't have time to go to the bathroom.

And then he wouldn't stop.

Oh, I kind of could go to the bathroom.

We're going to Pocatello or something.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

What does Zephyr mean?

Zephyr means just go fast.

No lollygagging.

By the way, is that a monster or still construction?

I think we're going to wrap up because they're breaking my house.

Hey, that's a cliffhanger.

I'll tell you about the poop pants thing next week.

Next week on Superfly.

You know, I have a Z-Flex skateboard on my wall, an old one from the 70s, Jay Adams, and it's also called a Zephyr.

And I never even knew that word.

Oh, I think it's speed.

So it makes sense for a skateboard.

Yeah.

But

well, I'm

President Brian.

Relax.

Enjoy the podcast.

I'm I'm Brian, President Brian.

Breathe in the podcast.

Don't be mad at me.

I liked it.

I like it.

And the audience can't get mad at you because you're very calm and cool.

You don't flip out.

Well, we tend to go like this and that with presidents.

And it was maybe a flimsy premise, but I'll be curious.

No, I like it because Biden was underground, not coming out a lot.

Trump is out there.

all the time.

I was wondering when you were just talking about this

Canada guy coming down.

I think that's what they call him.

He's his name is Canada.

Is it is it Carson?

What is it?

Yeah, something like it's Carson.

No, I don't know.

It's a Prime Minister of Canada.

Is it Prime Minister?

Okay.

So he saying no or something else.

Are there any meetings behind closed doors?

I mean, what happened to the decorum of just meet the guy, hash it out, then you walk out.

Hey, it went good.

He literally meets them and goes, sit down.

And they're like, wait, right here?

Like everyone's here?

And he's like,

you're fucking up everything.

We're going to change it.

They start going at it.

Yeah, I know.

It's so crazy.

Trump,

unless someone writes a book about it, because I read Bob Woodward's book, like, oh, boy, we're going to get the back.

We're going to get the real story about Trump.

And all it was was exactly the way Trump's in front of the camera.

So I don't think there's another Trump back there, but there is no filter.

He just says.

He says to the guy, we're going to be a beautiful 50-foot state.

He knows it got the guy elected because it turned on a massive patriotic swelling in Canada when Trump.

I I know, it really did.

It flipped everybody.

They had like two weeks.

And then I really don't know how it works up there because someone else told me yesterday Canada might vote again in a year.

Well, if it's parliamentary, then it is that they go, you can go in and out.

Like, if we had that, Obama could come back.

You know,

you don't have the terms that we have.

But Canada,

Trump's like, Joe, you're going to get a big, beautiful tax break.

You get free military ticket carrier.

We get a free pass to Disneyland.

Throws in a lot of perks.

I know.

We'll see.

Hopefully everything will come down.

We'll give you when we open Alcatraz, like it's the new Disneyland, we're going to let all the kids in.

It's going to be a lot of fun.

This is where we suffocate everyone.

This is where the gangs jump other guys in.

All right, I got to go.

I think I'm in danger with this noise.

Solitary confinement.

That's what they call it.

That meant you were alone for a long time.

Kids, you want to get in and try it one at a time?

Get in.

Let me close you in.

You can see what El Capone did because he ate one extra biscuit.

They threw him in solitary.

All right.

Good one.

Thanks, buddy.

That's it.

That's good.

We'll talk later.

See you next time.

Bye.

This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman.

Hope you liked it.