RE-RELEASE - Jimmy Fallon
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All right, let's just start.
There's been some shake-ups at late night.
I'm just going to say it.
I know it's a bold take.
Our friend Stephen Colbert and things like that.
And then we got our friend Jimmy Fallon.
And speaking of Jimmy Fallon, yeah, Stephen Colbert, obviously, he's in his
goodbye tour.
I think it's till May.
Yeah.
Then we've got Seth.
We've got, you know, we know most of these guys.
And Jimmy Fallon is probably the one I'm closest with
out in New York.
I see him every time I go.
And we had a great show with Jimmy Fallon.
What a blast.
And a lot of people talked about it.
And it did so well.
We're going to show it again because we want people to listen to how much fun we had.
And he was such a blast.
And we'll get him on again again soon.
But for now, I think everyone's going to crack up.
He came loaded.
He was ready to go.
Yeah, he got his guitar out and wrote our quasi-themed song of fly as Neil Young.
Fly on the wall.
Anyway,
when I think of Jimmy Fallon, people is he the same backstage in front of the camera?
Exactly the same.
He's just a personal one-man party traveling around the earth.
Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
yeah, he had a great Neil Young, Bob Dylan Riff.
He came to play, and sometimes you get people on an off day.
We got him on an on day.
He tries, you know,
when you get these people on a talk show, sometimes they walk through it.
He did not.
Oh, no, it was just pure fun.
Here's what I'm saying.
So we just all crack up.
My impression of Jimmy Fallon sees a UFO.
Crazy.
That's my just my sound of him.
But yeah, this was one of our favorites and our favorite people in show business.
So please enjoy Mr.
Jimmy Fallon.
If you didn't see it the first time, if you'd like to revisit it,
let me tell you something right now.
Let me tell you something.
When I see something this beautiful, I don't want to touch it.
You are,
he was the host.
Now he's hosted.
Now the host is being hosted.
I got to touch it.
It's so beautiful to see you.
He gives the answer.
Now the teacher's become the pupil.
He's in the hot seat now.
The host is being hosted and roasted.
Dude, I can't wait to grill you.
Now, are you going to be hard on me?
Because I've
got 60 minutes.
It's like wacky stuff.
You're doing a show tonight and doing this?
Yeah, we got a good show tonight.
Yeah.
That's very nice of you, Jimmy, because this guy guy busts his fucking hump.
This will be on in 2023, but who are the guests tonight?
Gleek Glork.
He's the leader of
a planet Xenon.
Fucking Glee Block.
So, yeah, we have guests from the future.
Norb.
Yeah, from the Pentagon.
Hey, that microphone's as big as his head.
Look at that fucker.
I know, because he's rich.
That Mike?
Not as rich as you, Spade.
Bullshit, if I had his money, I'd throw mine away.
Hey, money bags.
Silver spoon.
Hey, money bags.
Yeah, life was easy for him.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, he grew up with two spoons in his mouth.
All my cash is tied up in most of a Bitcoin.
I told you, Jimmy, next time I come on your show, I'm just doing a French accent the whole time.
I'll tell you now.
I'm never going to stop.
You won't stop.
Just come on and just do a French accent the whole time.
I won't stop.
Remember that thing we did last time?
We were out there as two like European guys.
Yeah.
It was my favorite thing ever i was just crying i couldn't stop i didn't want it to stop i could have done it for a half an hour
are you talking about the legends thing you're the greatest no you're the greatest
legend you're a legend yeah yes legend legend is thrown around a lot these days for literally i like when people go i saw this thing about grown-ups they go all you guys are the goats i go do you know what goat means i think goat is one does people do people know they just put a goat emoticon they're too they're too easy with that emoticon.
Yeah,
you just put, you make the egg purple.
You're the best of all those goats.
You're the goat of the goats.
You're the best of all.
Also, goats.
You know, Dave.
Anyway, thanks for coming on.
Yeah.
Love you.
I know my first guy said, can we get Fallon for this podcast?
They said the word was no fucking way.
So it's your,
your new nickname is Dream Guest.
All right.
And you just run with that.
I'm ready for the ones you are.
Are we started?
Is this we're now?
Sorry.
We're half over now.
Oh, God.
I had a great time.
You have a heart out, but I have a heart out one minute before your heart out.
How about that power play?
I have a heart out.
Yeah.
My whole life.
Dana, when I do a podcast, I go, all right, thanks, guys.
Right in the middle of an interview, they go, thanks what?
I go, later.
And they go, what the fuck's going on?
I go, I feel like I've told it all.
David said, we've tortured you enough.
We got a guest going downtown.
Dave, we'll let you go because we've tortured you enough.
But we count David's yawns and the amount of little protein bars he has.
Oh, wait, I do need one, Heather.
Can I get some green juice?
Yeah.
I got to stay awake for some of this.
All right.
Yeah, sorry, here we go.
I have a real thing to start with.
Do you want to have like, are we going to do like a whole thing where you just go like, hi guys, welcome back to Flying the Wall.
We're here with the.
Fuck no, have you heard this dog shit?
We just, it's we just recorded.
We just record that later.
Oh.
Yeah.
We do We do an intro at the beginning where we kiss your ass when you're not here.
Oh, good.
And then, but listen, Dana, here's a funny story about me and Jimmy.
I know it's going to be about you and Jimmy.
It's Jimmy.
On IMDb, it says I'm one of Jimmy's friends.
That's nice.
That's true.
I put it on there.
The Rolodex King, David.
And when I go to New York, Jimmy, the three comedians I call are Jimmy and Chris Rock and Quinn.
And one time about about a year ago,
that's a fun group.
So we all try to rally, you know, Jimmy's really good at rallying out.
Jimmy's so busy and he always rallies for dinner or something.
So we went out to Lillard and,
oh, Jimmy, you were shooting at Coney Island or something.
And you go, I'll try to get over after I'm done with the hour away from where, but that restaurant was so loud that night.
Do you remember?
Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
I hate it.
Here was the other catch.
Yeah.
So first of all, you somehow, I go, I go, guys, Jimmy might come come if he can, and you beat me there.
That was one funny part.
And then
when we're in the middle of dinner and I'm just plotting how I'm not going to pay most of the dinner, that's all I think about.
And then we all leave, Jimmy.
And then you remember two days later, what do we see on Twitter?
Oh, yeah.
Chris Rock announces on Twitter he has COVID.
We don't get a text.
We don't get a phone call.
Nothing.
Phone call.
So
Spade and I call each other.
Spade's like, wait, do we have to follow Chris on Twitter to find out that we might
have?
Luckily, I do follow him and I do know why.
I hear about that online.
Yeah.
And then we ask him, he's like, what?
Yeah.
You read about it, didn't you?
I go, well, yeah, but.
That was insane.
Between a rock and a hard place.
Good night.
Yeah, it was never been done before.
I think that's the whole story.
Most of that story was just to say we had dinner.
Do you end up using any bits from the dinners whenever we hang out?
It's sort of a compilation of what all you guys said, and it goes into my act.
Well, John Mulaney said on this podcast, he's looking for stories, and David does that too.
Like, if someone follows him at a McDonald's, he's got a 10-minute chunk, so he likes stories.
Yeah, he's a storyteller.
Guy asked me straight up for my McNuggets.
Straight up, no bullshit.
Just give me your McNuggets.
Yeah, why not?
He's going to go into it.
And I said, fuck.
No, I stood my ground.
Jimmy, you think I'm a pussy, but I stood my ground.
No, didn't you?
You gave him one.
I gave him one, man.
I know the story.
So, Jimmy,
he knows the story.
Legendary.
Oh, it's legendary.
It's on your IMDb page.
Let's see if we can do something about Jimmy's beginnings that he's never been asked that's kind of interesting.
No chips.
It might be impossible.
I did a deep dive.
You did?
I can't believe it.
I mean, I love both of you guys so much.
I can't even tell you.
I want to go into your career and your stuff and everything you've done to influence me.
You know, I wanted to be Danny Carvey.
I wanted to be, that's my whole reason for getting on Saturday Night Live, and that was my whole thing.
Oh, you said David Spade wrong.
I think that's age.
That's age-related because, yeah,
David, that's age.
I wanted to be a relationship.
I was sitting behind him at Wreether with a knife.
Well, yeah,
you were my surrogate.
You were my stand-in.
Sometimes I was doing the church chat rehearsals.
David had to get the dress on and sit in there for camera blocking, which I had.
David, just for a few minutes, can you sit in there?
Dana's resting.
But, Jimmy, you were 12 when I got on SNL.
And that's what I call the peak formative year.
It's like when I was listening to Monty Python or whatever gets in your brain at that age and through high school.
So
I appreciate you, bro.
Thank you.
I can't even tell you how much I would, I was such a SNL nerd.
I would record it every Saturday night.
I would be by myself.
I wouldn't be,
I didn't want friends over.
I didn't want anyone around me, my parents.
I didn't want anyone near me.
I just wanted to study the show and watch it.
And I'd videotape it.
Then I I remember like my favorite sketches.
And then I would go to parties like
whatever the next week or whatever.
And I would bring videotapes with me with the best clips of SNL.
Like I was like a human
YouTube just going, or watch this part and watch this thing.
But I mean, I was like, I loved chopping broccoli.
And there she went downtown.
But can I tell you?
She's a lady I know.
If I didn't know her,
she'd be the lady.
I didn't know her.
Did you ever put that out?
Like, is that out on Spotify or something?
No, the only thing I want to say, which was mind-blowing a few years back when I did your show, and then I just, it wasn't my idea, but all of a sudden they go,
Jimmy wants to do chopping broccoli with an orchestra.
Remember that?
It was fucking crazy.
So that was the mic drop of chop and broccoli.
There was a string orchestra, and then I was playing chopping broccoli on a baby gran.
I had a horrible hair day because New York Water just flattened it.
But anyway, that's just my point.
But I'm chopping broccoli, and I took it really far.
She chopped.
She chopped.
She chopped.
She chopped up.
I think.
That's a 20-minute bit in my stand-up, as you can imagine.
But anyway, that's so you, Jimmy.
We do have a kismet.
There's a connection to this musicality of what we do and the way you do impressions and everything.
I brought a guitar.
I mean, I'm in my office.
Will you play something for us?
That'd be awesome.
You know, Dana, while Jimmy's futzing around, I have to say that
if you're on SNL and you can play an instrument, Jimmy's like the perfect SNL guy.
He plays an instrument.
He's marginally good-looking.
He
sexiest.
One of the historic histories.
He was voted one of the tallest hosts
of the year.
And he's got a harmonic as fucking God.
Oh, I know he's going to do good people at home.
I know he's going to do that supernatural.
He's either going to to do, he's going to do one or three, either Dylan, Lennon, or Springsteen.
No.
Which are all brilliant.
Dylan's one, but I thought maybe Neil Young, too.
Oh, Neil Young.
Yeah, just give me anything.
I'm being entertained now by my guests.
Neil Young.
He plays the harmonica, like he plays it differently than Dylan.
Neil Young plays the harmonica with the song.
So he's like.
There, something changed.
Yeah, it's good now.
Yeah,
can you hear it now?
Now we hear it.
Perfect.
Okay.
All right.
So, like, Neil Young, Neil Young plays the harmonica like with the
with the with the notes.
Yeah.
So it's like
David and Dana
sitting in a tree.
Dana and Dave.
We're just a fly on the wall
down the hall of SNL.
That's pretty easy.
SNL.
SNL.
SNL.
Dana and Dave.
Did anyone ever call you Dave?
Some people do.
You have to get in the real tight circles.
And then Dylan's faster.
Dylan's like,
yeah, a lot of up and down.
Like, he hits the highest note of the harmonica and just screams it.
So, like, yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah.
He runs out of stuff, he hits the harmonica.
Yeah, exactly.
When he wrote that in lyrics, have you heard Rough and Ready's latest album, Rough and Ready, Bob Dylan?
Yes.
God is brilliant.
Is it good?
Soon After Midnight is a masterpiece.
But he's got his new voice, which is well, that's what I mean.
This other voice, I haven't really tried to do it, but it's pretty special.
It's really rough.
Soon after midnight, and I got a date with the fairy queen, with the fairy queen.
I love seeing him
in, see him in concert because sometimes he doesn't feel like performing, and he's just out there and he's going like,
and everyone's like, oh man, this is weird.
And then he's like, how does it feel?
And you go, oh, I love this song.
That's what he was saying.
That's what he was singing the whole time.
He accidentally stumbles into a hit and then he's like mad he did because he's not torturing you enough.
But one of our friends just saw Dylan here in LA three nights ago and was taking bootleg clips.
But
I guess it's interesting, but I think they said he did like a 45-minute song.
Oh, I got a pop quiz for Jimmy and David.
What is the one song from his big hip hits in the 60s where he stylizes his voice in a certain way?
Lay Lady Lay.
Yep.
Now, and I know you can do that.
Now, let me guess that.
It's
Kermit the frog a little bit.
Yeah.
You know,
somebody
lay.
But I love that he experimented with that.
He's like, this could be my voice.
Yeah, you know.
And then it wasn't.
But it was a big hit.
And then, like,
Neil Young.
Huge.
Neil Young kind of had one song where it was more rocking, and then he realized his high voice was where it's at because no one has that voice.
Like, I love rocking in the free world.
Yeah.
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Did you do impressions of everyone on the staff of SNO?
Not really.
Like,
who would be the big ones?
Higgins, Mike Shoemaker, Martin Klein.
I mean, could you do cast members?
Could you do Spade?
Hey, buddy.
Yeah.
I'm not going to be reduced to noises today, gentlemen.
So I was opening the door.
I walked in.
David is an actual good sound effects guy, but he doesn't lean on it.
It just comes out.
They're woven in.
I do you, Jimmy.
I do you.
You do?
I just do a sound.
Just sort of go.
I was saying.
That's pretty good.
That's just what impression me.
It's when you're very, very excited.
Someone very excited.
It's just a sound of exuberance, which I was thinking today.
Here's a compliment.
You remind me of the Beatles.
Oh, Jesus.
Wow.
The early Beatles, because what they told me I reminded you of Kajagugu.
You were kind of shaka Khan.
But anyway, we'll talk later.
Because the early Beatles just
projected so much fun and joy, it was just irresistible.
And that's what you do.
I appreciate it.
You know, it's very
interesting, you know, growing up in Liverpool.
We live at Puddleyans, you know, and we'd never eat pudding.
You know, and you'd think we'd have a liver pudding, you know.
But that's what pudding is different, you know, in England.
It's not the same, you know, it's not the chocolate, you know, vanilla, you know, strawberry.
The whole town was just eating pudding, you know, because it was called liver pudding.
The whole town, we're called liver pudding.
The whole town was eating pudding, you know.
I'd ring up George, so you want to go get some puddin?
I've got to say john some right john john would come up john would come over hit me over the head with his guitar like let's go get some pudding
and that's how we wrote uh paperback writer
john would just come in and bang me on the head with his guitar turned into paperback writer smash you with a guitar we'd sit for a bunker and that's how we let's have a poker john would come in he'd hit me over the head you know say let's go get some pudding and that's how we wrote uh
that's how we wrote the white album you know well the funny part.
I haven't heard.
He banged me over.
He bopped me over the head with his guitar.
Then we started plunking.
Let's do a plunker, you know.
We got into songs, so we didn't know what we were going to do.
So I looked at George, you know, I hit George over the head with the guitar.
And next thing you know, we have, you know, Salt and Pepper.
And, you know, John and Paul were the primary songwriters.
Peace and love, of course.
They were the great there was peace and love.
They were peace.
They were.
Which one was peace and which one was love?
We switched back and forth.
They were my brothers.
Sometimes John was love, sometimes John was peace, and then sometimes Paul would be love.
And then I'd say hey, love, and they both turn around and I'd bonk him over the head with the guitar, and that's how we wrote Octopus's Garden.
You came up with that.
Octopus's Garden.
Spade, do you remember?
You made me laugh last time you were on.
I was giving your intros.
And
I was like, he's blah, blah, blah.
He's an Emmy Award-winning actor.
And I go, is that right, Spade?
And you were right behind the curtain.
You go, yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
That's it.
That's that tone David uses.
No, I do.
There's a lot more going on with me.
I can't be reduced to simple noises.
And
yeah, I was the most complex comedian in the planet.
Yeah, but no.
Thank you.
Remember, we went to that one,
that thing, that event for Howard Stern.
We went to this event for Howard with Howard Stern.
Oh, I did stand-up?
Yeah, and I was like,
David, could you do that the bit, the skiing bit?
And you're like, Oh, right.
You're like, dude,
I don't take requests.
No, I did take requests, and I did do it.
You did do it?
No, that was fun.
I was a charity gig, and you were, that was real fun.
It was scary because there was a lot of people.
You crushed that night.
It was unbelievable.
But the skiing crushes, man.
What was in the skiing bit?
Because they're like, your friends want to go on the black diamonds trails, and you don't.
You're like, I don't want to.
I'm afraid of that.
I don't like.
I want to go.
They say it's easier to teach you if we all go down from the top.
It's just to ditch me.
So I say, no, I got the map.
I want to go down the green ones.
We're going to stop.
We're going to start on Pop-Tart.
And then they go, no, we're going down Devil's Ball Sack.
Here we go.
And I go, No, no, no.
That's a hard one.
We're going down.
Listen, I mapped it out.
We're going to go down Jelly Bean
into
Kitten Paw
and then puppy love
and then mother goose.
It's sort of challenging but not overwhelming.
Nope, Hitler's abortion.
Here we go.
Two by two.
Everyone, I go, No, no, no.
We're going down Hitler's abortion.
That's the name of the trail.
That one sounds hard.
Yeah, that one is.
Listen, it's always good to work the word abortion into your act.
It's always great to always put a smile on everyone's face.
But did you do norm?
Did you do Impressions of Norm?
Huh?
Hmm.
Hey, hey, hey.
Oh, yeah.
No, Norm,
we did a gig.
I think I told Dana this, or maybe I told Dennis, we did a gig.
Me, Dennis, Miller, and Norm did a gig right before the pandemic.
And he was like, David, he's always, he reacts too much to nothing.
You know what I mean?
Like you go,
Norm, is it, you know, the show starts at 8, 8 o'clock?
That is exactly him.
Yeah.
8 o'clock?
And then you go, there's an earthquake in Oklahoma.
He goes, when?
Today?
I go, no, that's a big deal.
There's an earthquake here.
Eight o'clock?
Why would they do it at eight?
I go, because it's the most obvious time in the world.
I'm not ready.
Worst time.
Yeah.
That's like the worst time for people to do a stand-up.
You ate at eight o'clock.
Yeah, you're going to get it.
My neck's all fucked up because of the flight there.
And I go, fuck.
And then Dennis goes, Spudly, why don't you go last?
Like, it's a big favor.
I go, and follow you two assholes.
you guys kill uh i think dennis was technically the headliner for sakes i got the jet waiting on the tarmac i'll do a cute 20 okay chimney holey and i are going to chimmy's college
he came dennis came on the show he killed by the way he was so funny i'll tell you the bit he did that made me laugh but he was backstage he was backstage i was gonna say hi to dennis uh dennis miller uh and i i put I never wear cologne, but I put a little cologne on before I went to see him.
Not that much.
I did a little, like a little mist of like,
and and then I dove under it.
I walked through it.
I kind of do.
Yeah, dolphined.
I dolphined it.
I dove under it.
I dove under it.
I dolphined under it.
I dolphined it with a green movement.
Just barely on, so I go, maybe he doesn't.
And I walked in, and I go, of course, Dennis evolved people.
He goes, gosh, Jimmy Fallon smelling like Paco Raban over here.
Fucking.
Oh, Jimmy, did you get the reference?
It just sounds funny.
What is that from?
Is it
old from the 50s or something?
It's from the 80s.
Sheesh, I feel like Vinnie Knicknock and the Detroit Lions.
Vinny Knicknock.
Yeah, the on-site soundtrack.
I always had a joke that he'd never do, but he's like, it's so quiet, it's like the soundtrack to a Chuck Chaplin film.
Chuck Chaplin.
Chucky Chaplin.
That's a real joke.
No, no, no.
It's a fake one that he never did.
That sounds very fake.
Does anyone ever call you Jim?
Kind of sick's going on, Jim Fallon tonight.
Yeah, Jim.
Jim, love an interesting story.
I'm working on a new bitch, okay?
It's a James.
It's a James Bond film, okay?
It's called Bitcoin Finger.
Okay.
Bitcoin Finger.
He loves only risk.
He loves risk.
That was his joke he did on the show.
Maybe laugh.
Oh, really?
Is that true?
Bitcoin finger?
Oh, my God.
Bitcoin finger.
He loves only risk.
That's what he was singing.
We loved him, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, he's the funniest.
We do him all the time.
But he starts laughing in the middle of his bet, and he starts talking to you.
Christ cha-cha.
Oh, I just do him just to soothe myself.
Give me a topic, anything.
I'll filter it through Dennis of anything.
Just ice cream, mint chocolate chip.
Mint chocolate chip.
Okay, that's front-loaded, isn't it?
All right.
Can I have some mints or do I have the chocolate?
They're competing with one another.
All right.
Last thing I need is a confusing scoop of ice cream.
All right.
How many chips do I fucking need?
Give Jimmy a topic.
All right.
Jimmy,
the grocery store.
Right.
Okay.
Why do we have to go to the...
Why does produce have its own section?
The produce section, okay?
There's not like a cereal section.
Serial sections like...
We don't get a section.
We don't get a set.
The produce gets its own section.
Yeah.
What am I, Glico?
Yeah.
I'll have Glico the bag boy.
Hey, Gleco the bag boy.
Why in Christ's sakes we got to have 600 different kinds of of cereal, okay?
50 was it enough?
All right.
You need 29
variations.
I want to pay an extra $2 for the organic apple.
Don't really see the difference.
Hey, do I want to round up for you, Crane?
Where's that fucking cash going?
Come on.
Let's be honest.
Jesus Christ, Fionair Qantas, okay?
Who's up front?
A koala bear?
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah, good.
29 hours to Melbourne.
Paul Hogan in first class going, that's not a knife.
This is a knife.
Just eat your freaking sandwich.
Paul Hogan.
I actually did, I submitted a thing at SNL that didn't get on, and it was
Alligator McGee.
It was a takeoff on Crocodile Dundee.
Or Alligator something.
And everything was bigger.
He goes, he goes, that's not a refrigerator.
They said refrigerator.
And it's like 20 times bigger.
That's not a lamp.
They said lamp.
You know what I'm saying?
No, that's not a lamp.
It
I did a bit once on the show with Swarzenegger where we were doing QVC hosts, and
I wanted to talk about this new
slicer or something like that.
And he wanted to talk about the chopper.
We had like a veggie chopper.
And he's like,
all so he can go, like, get to the chopper.
And I go, that's hell.
And I was like, no, we got to still talk about, you know, we have this new iron.
It steams your clothes while on irons.
Like, get to the chopper.
And it totally tanked.
It didn't really work.
Get to the chopper.
He came on the show one time.
I go, you smoke cigars, right?
He's like, yeah, I love the cigar.
Yeah,
so I go, how do you smoke a cigar?
Because I don't really know much about them.
But isn't, don't you like, you have to like, don't you lick it?
And then you cut it and lick it so it laughs.
And then he goes, you don't lick the cigar.
What do you do?
You don't
actually be licking the cigar.
You don't do that.
You listen to this guy with the licking.
You don't want were like,
he is so positive.
There is no problem in life with Arnold.
That's why I love it.
I actually, one of my brothers, I say, what would Arnold do?
You know, like if
something's late, like the cab's late, that's all right.
We walk a couple of blocks, we look around, we see a better cab, and we actually get a faster ride to our destination.
You know, he never, I love his positivity.
We can go up the mountain.
problem.
We can make a zip line out of the vines and just zip line down to the place.
That's right.
We forgot our skis, so we get the wood from the forest, we chop it, we make wooden skis, we strap them together with the pantyhose or whatever we have, and we go down the mountain.
We take the spanks off and inflate our spanks to make a hard air balloon so that we can fly to the destination.
We get off much faster and better for development.
And we give rides for children.
The children go and we make lots of money in all these things.
Oh, where's he going?
Speedy.
He took a break.
Jimmy, can you remember the catchphrase we had when I hosted in like 1999?
You were.
I know what it is.
This is where I knew Jimmy and I had the same sense of humor because I was a running gag of me being cocky, you know, Hans.
So the whole idea was.
And the show was doing fine, but all week long, I would just say, in reference to the current SNL, so long, golden era
goodbye well Emmy good nominations
good so goodbye
hit show
so long memorable characters goodbye Emmy nominations
no what was the one we you did this the kind of redneck character last time you were on with Mike Myers?
Red Rednecky.
Red Rednecky, the redneck comedian.
I actually have a couple in case you asked for that.
That's my favorite thing.
I'm Red Redneck, the redneck comedian.
I said, Daddy, what's for dinner?
He said, shit on a shingle.
I said, this day just keeps getting better and better.
Come on, get some.
Come on, get some.
I went to the doctor.
He said, we got to amputate your left foot.
I said, can I keep my right foot?
He said, sure.
I said, come on guise on.
So nobody said he's possible.
My mama said, what do you want to do with your life?
I said, I don't know.
Live in a shack and drink beer all day.
Mama said, don't ever dream too big, Red, because you always end up disappointed.
Come on, Guise home.
It's all about the Coma Guise home.
Yeah, you got to get to it.
Don't make the joke too long because everyone's waiting for it.
Come on, get some.
It's like sometimes they're not jokes.
Yeah.
Sometimes they're not really jokes.
The first one was kind of a joke.
I met my sister only because mama took me down.
Come on, geez home.
We're back.
Okay, I'll give you one Carson, one Carson, because you like that one too.
Yeah, I love it.
Johnny Carson getting pulled over for drunk driving, 1972.
Oh, sorry, officer.
I didn't know I was swerving.
I had two strawberry boom booms at the Hickory Hut.
That's it.
Come on, swerving.
Sorry, didn't I?
I was swerving.
I had
two mandolinis.
No, no.
I had two
at mandolinis.
Yeah, it's at mandolini.
That's two somethings at somebody's, right?
Strawberry boom, boom, tomato.
I had two rubles.
I had a silly goose up with a twist.
I had a purple nurple.
I had a silly goose over at Met.
I had two silly gooses at Mandolini's.
Kate Mandolini's.
Remember Kate Mandalini's?
Oh, yeah.
Chris Rock took me there years ago and paid for my meal.
And I had no idea.
Jimmy.
Jimmy, do Chris Rock, you do him.
What are you going to get to auto?
You got to eat or you got to just stand there.
What are you going to, why would you even give me a menu?
Just eat.
Just give me what people eat.
Ha ha.
What?
Something like that.
I like when he goes, I used to bust him for repeating everything.
He goes,
Obama.
And then everyone laughs.
Then he goes, President Obama.
They laugh again.
He goes, Barack Obama.
I go, let's go.
What is it?
Your act is only 20 minutes is what you said.
Yeah, exactly.
Barack Obama.
Obama.
The president.
Yeah.
The president.
Black guys won't eat the pussy.
Black guy will not eat your pussy.
Oh, the white guy will.
Oh, the white guy, he will.
That's not even his doctor.
I know how to suck.
Okay, we're getting blue now.
How about
Sandler?
Could you?
Everyone does Sandler.
No, you do.
No, you do.
I just did.
Did you audition with Sandler?
Let me do my Sandler.
Every time Adam is mentioned on this podcast, I just go, Thaba Thu.
So I just did it.
So he'll be hearing this.
Thaba thoo.
But you have the best Sandler.
You did him on SNL.
Speaking of Sandler.
I did it in my audition because I loved it.
Because his impression are like three impressions in one, three levels.
He used to do that.
That guy, you know, I was talking to my mother the other day, and you know, my mom would always say, and then he goes to second verses.
Like, she would always say,
hey, why don't you take the laundry down here?
And my dad would say, shut up.
Oh, my God.
That is so fucking great.
Yeah.
That is, oh, that is casual Sandler old stand-up voice.
That's good.
Old Sandler.
That is a brilliant observation.
I remember I was buzzing into my grandma's apartment.
I'm pressing the buzzer and she's like, who is this?
Who is there?
And I said, it's Adam.
It's Adam, your grandson.
Who?
Charles Manson?
Oh, yeah.
Charles Manson.
Oh, I don't want you to come in.
I don't want Charles Danson.
I don't want Charles Danson.
I don't want you.
I don't want Charles Nanson.
Oh, yeah.
I had Vicks.
That's great.
I was sick.
My mom was rubbing that VIX
cold stuff on on my chest, and then our eyes connected, and I go, hey, mom, we're just friends, right?
That's a good bit.
Oh, my goodness.
That's his bit, but I can't get his voice.
You're doing that.
How do you do Smigo?
Smigel's closest to Sandler.
Smile.
Interesting.
Because
he's like, all right, Jamie.
He's kind of like Sandler.
Very low-key.
Yeah, very low-key.
Let me hear it.
I was thinking, well, I was,
you want to try that?
That's good.
Right?
He says, laughing.
Yeah.
Oh, here's my smile, Jimmy, when I'm pitching him when I was at SNL and I'd go in his little three-foot-wide office where they're writing killer sketches.
And I'd knock and go, hey, do you want to help me with this?
And he goes,
what is it?
And he has a nervous laugh because he doesn't want to do my sketch.
So I go, it's about a guy who does this.
And he goes.
I don't think I could do that.
I don't think I like that one.
He's so nice, but he's kind of laughing nervously.
Like, how do I tell him?
Yeah, I spade.
And he would just look off into space and start laughing.
You ever seen him do that where he's just
in the room and he's just staring at
the wall or something and laughing, looking up?
I love making him laugh, though.
Because when you do make him laugh, I made him laugh once.
He never put it in a sketch, but it was like, how does
Dracula...
What if Dracula was a comedy writer and he was like judging the laughs?
So it was like, he's like, moi, ah, ah, ah.
Muah, ah, ah.
And then you tell another joke.
He goes,
the blah.
Blah, blah, moah.
I like the other one where you do the moi.
And they go, how about this joke?
He goes,
that's moi-ha.
It's like judging that.
But I was at once, we did it.
He does those charity things.
They're really great.
Night of Too Many Stars.
And I did a bit with Tina Fey, and we were in
Radio City or someplace, and it had an orchestra pit in the front.
And he came out, and
he had a laptop with him, and he's got his glasses on.
I go,
what are you doing?
What's up?
What are you doing, Smigo?
And he goes, oh,
I'm changing all the fucks to shits because we're airing on Comedy Central, so we can't say dirty words.
So I'm changing all the...
the fucks to shits.
I go, oh, cool, whatever.
So I'm doing our bit with me and Tina.
And I see Smigo backing up and he's typing in this thing.
And he backs up and he falls into the orchestra.
He falls like six feet down into the I go, holy crap.
I run over.
I go, Smigo, are you okay, dude?
What's up?
Are you?
He looked like a Jerry Lewis would look, like if he fell.
It was like an outline, like a
chalk outline of a body.
His glasses were broken and the laptop was in three pieces.
And I ran down.
I go, dude, oh my God.
Are you okay, buddy?
And he goes, without missing a beat, he goes,
change all the fucks to shit.
Oh my god, that's too funny.
By the way, what a dumb note.
Like, no one's offended by shit.
Like, that was his last words, you know.
Wow, that was.
I'm going to laugh about that even more later.
That's going to go through my head today.
So funny, Ben.
So, Robert.
He is so fucking obsessed.
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I went to a concert with Lorne.
We went to go see Sting and Paul Simon.
And
it was an amazing concert.
So they're playing together, Paul Simon and Sting.
And Paul Simon, you know, is probably in his 70s, I think.
And so he just looks like Paul Simon in his 70s.
And Sting is next to him, and he's just jacked.
Yeah, he's got muscles thin.
And he's got like a t-shirt pulled down, like a John Barbados kind of wrinkled.
He's a badass.
And he just looks, and he's playing bass, and he's just got veins coming out of his muscles.
And so I came in, I went and got two beers and a couple hot dogs and I gave it to Lauren and I go, how old is Sting?
And Lauren's like,
probably 63 or something.
I go, I don't think I ever want to be in that good of shape when I'm 63.
And without missing a beat, Lauren goes, I don't think you have any problem.
Oh, wait, what does he say?
I'm sorry.
He goes,
I don't think that'll be a problem.
Something trying to say.
I go, I don't ever want to be that.
I don't want to be that in that good of shape when I'm 63.
It's not something you have to worry about.
Yeah, I don't think you have to worry about that.
It was just maybe you have other Laurenisms because I've done some on this podcast, but he is he is a philosopher, and I don't know sometimes if they're original because they're so brilliant or he gets them from elsewhere.
But do you remember you would do Dana?
You did uh Guess Which Paul?
Oh, he's like, Well, I was having dinner the other night
with Paul.
Guess which Paul?
That would be Paul McCartney,
Dana, wrong, Paul Provenza.
Uh, What's the, you know, that joke?
How do you get to Lauren's house?
What's the directions to Lauren?
Lauren's house.
I don't know.
You go up to Main Street and then you go right, right, right, right, right.
That's funny.
All right.
Jimmy, do you feel like you're so much devout in water?
Do I feel like I'm Lauren's best friend?
Out of all the SNL people.
You've worked longer with him if you had SNL and then the too late show.
And now, so you've worked closely with him
as long as any but 25 years or something 25 he's the great yeah i would say he definitely we all love him my best friend but i mean he if it wasn't for him i wouldn't have gotten late night uh nbc didn't really want me they wanted someone else god that's crazy and i remember when i heard you were available and they were thinking happening that's so fucking perfect i was like if you felt like doing it because of you know we were leaving i was leaving s n l and then conan had signed something where he was going to get the tonight show in like like six years or something.
Five years?
Yeah.
Something like that.
That was such a fucked up thing.
I never heard of that happening.
They wanted to keep Jay, but not lose Conan.
That was the compromise.
Yeah.
So I remember I was leaving SNL and Lauren goes, well, would you ever want to maybe host a show?
You know, you could take her for Conan in five years.
And I go, I don't know if I would do that.
I mean, I think I'm going to be.
you know, big Hollywood star.
He's like, but I'm like, I'm going to go do movies or whatever.
And he's like, and Tina Faye was in the office and she was like, I think you'd be great at that.
You're like Irish and you like to go to bars and talk to people and talk to everyone.
That'd be right up here.
That's all it takes.
Yeah.
And all the stuff that you got to do on the talk shows that weren't totally SNL friendly.
They were just different long dance numbers.
And we'll go over those in a minute.
But it was like, but so then I go and I try movies.
They didn't work.
Same, same.
And then...
I'll tell you something that Sandler had said to me because I had clean slate and trapped in paradise.
And I know you had too as well.
And I had things I was developing with Smigel and other people.
But Sandler at one point said to me, sidles up, and you could do it, Peter.
He goes, Carvey, they don't, they, meaning the people making movies that aren't us,
they don't really know how to do it.
They don't know.
They don't really know how to make it, where to put the camera and what to be funny, you know.
Wow.
I never forgot that.
Yeah, because you said something once I found fascinating.
The idea of you get to the set at 5.30 and you do the thing and the blocking and the master shop.
By four,
ten hours later, you've said the line 150 times, 200 times, and now you're going to say it for the movie.
It's like, it's not funny.
English.
It's not funny.
It doesn't even sound like it.
I go, dude, I peaked at like 10 in the morning.
You want me to be funny now?
I'm so exhausted.
I'm like, I can't be funny.
And like, then it's movies just weren't my thing at all.
But then, so then Lorne,
I go, he goes, five years later, and he goes,
remember I asked you that thing?
I go, yeah.
I go, well, let me ask my wife because now I'm married.
So I go, okay.
So I asked Nancy and she's like, you got to do it.
You got to do it.
I mean, look at the list.
I mean, it's Letterman, Conan, and you.
That's a great list.
You have to do it, even if it doesn't work.
So she was like, I'll move to New York.
And
so I said, yeah, I want to do it.
And then NBC was like, yeah, we're not sure.
We want to be in the Jimmy Fallon business.
Really?
What the fuck?
After all your SNL stuff and your talk show appearances?
When did you host the video music awards?
Because I thought you did a great job.
I go, oh, this is a whole new thing.
Like, you were perfect for for that.
Yeah, that was playing your guitar.
2004 or something like that, or 2002 or something like that.
One of those.
Was that during SNL or right after?
That was during SNL.
Oh, no.
That was right after SNL.
That's what I was leaving to do movies and stuff.
Because that was like a good all-you were a smash right away, right?
Yeah.
With when you got on that late night show, I mean, pretty much, right?
Well, it worked, yeah.
It kind of.
Yeah, Smash was a strong word, Dana.
Yeah, Smash is a strong word.
I'll say stuff that I say about Jimmy when he's not around.
There's never been anyone with your range and you're so versatile, talent-wise.
There's no one.
I'm going back to Steve Allen.
And then also your likability is a 12.
And then your interview skills where you make it.
all about the person.
You're just like Carson.
So I thought you were like made out of a factory and then tall and handsome.
I was like, and he can play guitar and he does Dylan and he can do Neil Young better than Neil Young.
And you two could make it tonight.
And he, they think the roots and Jimmy are better than you do.
It's like, it goes on and on.
So yeah, I felt you were made out of some kind of German factory.
We shall make the greatest talk show host.
Six foot tall chack.
Voices, check, like ability.
Shack.
Let him go.
Really.
Jansen.
I heard from somebody, a little birdie told me that when you and Justin Timberlake are out there doing all your choreography with the choreographer, that no, he can't, you get it in one take.
Like, this woman does like 10 steps, and you like,
you can do that too.
So that's my mic drop on complimenting Jimmy Fallon.
I'll take the mic drop from Danny Carpenter.
And Jimmy's willing to travel to Coney Island for bits.
That's right.
Because when they do, like, I always tell them when I come to New York, I go, so you do the show, which is already like a beating, just a long day, and you have to be very present present and focused.
And we're going to do this.
We got to rehearse this bit.
And then sometimes after the show, you travel somewhere and pre-tape something.
It's like J-Lo wants to go on the jungle gym and we got to go to, you know, Long Island for this bit.
And then you got to do bumper cars with Chris Hemsworth.
But you got to do it.
30 years in, Letterman stopped doing that, right?
When you get to hit 30, you know, Christ's sakes, into that fourth decade, I think it's a hard out at 5.30, all right?
I mean, that, that's, how are you pacing yourself, I think is the question, right, David?
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't, I think, you know,
there's something about this that's fun that, that's different than SNL's because it's every day.
So, you know, SNL, if you did a sketch and it was, and it tanked, you had a week.
You have to wait.
You have a week to be depressed.
You know, and you're like, oh, that was awful.
It's so embarrassing.
This one, if I do a bit that tanks, I have another show the next day and I go, oh, I'll work.
recover tomorrow.
Well, you also have full say, like at SNL's read-through, then you're crossing your fingers and you get on like a fifth of what you hand in.
And if you're there, you like something, it's in, you don't like something, it's out.
That's kind of, that's kind of good.
At least you go with your strength.
You go, I can, I think I can make this one work.
We got great writers.
We're in a good groove right now.
We got some great writers here and good producers.
It's like, it's like, oh, it's super fun.
It's like, you know, when it's really fun, it's like kind of camp.
almost like summer camp.
Everyone's together and I got a bit and I got a bit and I got a thing.
And it's like, that's exciting for me.
And so every day I come in and you're like, oh, that that's such a dumb idea but i love it let's do it because it'll make me laugh right and when you go on the show dana knows uh for the audience you're you're very uh helpful so you know you're it's a fun atmosphere you get backstage you come back bullshit a second and uh and then you go out there and if i'm stumbling through a bit you're jumping in helping and making sure everything works so all that stuff helps because yeah uh you know you want you want everyone to look good and the show keeps going but the show keeps going still still still so i guess it's just up to you to figure out one day if it's just too much.
Jimmy is the only, and I've loved all my hosts, Letterman, everybody, Conan, all of them.
Jimmy is the only one who I literally could go out and throw anything at him, like I said, any accent, any bit.
He would just start laughing and just go right at it.
So that's
singularly unique.
And the next time I'm in New York, which I got to come out soon because I just want to hang out with you, I'm going to surprise you with something.
Don't tell me what it is.
And don't tell me what you're doing, and just do it.
I might decide when I'm behind the curtain when you're introducing me, but off the ball.
I did that to Jerry.
We had Jerry Lewis on the show, and I did that to him, and he didn't really roll with it.
It was, it was weird.
He was like, Wait, you want to do this now?
I'm like, I'm like, Let's have the roost play jazz, and you do the jazz bit where like you're you open your mouth and you point it.
Oh my god, that's brilliant.
I go with Cinderella.
Why not play with it?
See if it's fun.
And he goes, And he goes,
He goes, Yeah, he goes, you know, it's so weird to get getting older I haven't been in the city in so long
actually
when he came out he started doing like old Jerry Lewis voice so he's like I
first time I was you know and he started
really really interesting I was like cool and then he goes but I'm older now and I'm in so I'm taking the subway and I'm on the subway and
and he goes um and I see this kid with dyed hair he has a spiked right he has a red a green a blue hair and he's piercings everywhere uh and he's just look I'm just looking at him.
And this kid goes,
what are you looking at?
You got a problem?
I go, oh, wow.
And I go, what'd you say to him?
He goes, I said, no, just 20 years ago, I had sex with the parrot.
I think you might be my son.
He was like setting me up for a joke the whole time.
It's kind of funny.
I feel bad for him.
I thought he was getting picked on on the subway, and then he's just setting up this joke.
Literally dark.
It crushed.
It crushed.
It crushed.
It was so funny.
He's like, no, I just had sex with the parrot parrot 20 years ago.
I think you might be my son.
That's a good, weird bit, though.
And I actually like it's out of left field.
I love Hiscarria.
I had dinner accidentally with the Ingenou Incender fella.
We're going back to Jerry Lewis in the mid-60s
where he is writing, directing, producing his movies.
Yeah.
And
it was, and then, so I did watch some of it where he does this long dance on the soundstage.
And it really is avant-garde.
It's it's it's no wonder the uh French love him.
It was, I appreciated it so much more.
I watched it like six months ago.
I was like, damn, so that is.
Wasn't that Cinderfella, the one where he's getting in the argument, he's the boss, and he's has a cigar, and he's yelling.
Yeah, it's the best thing, it's unbelievable.
And it's, it's, it might have been called self-indulgent then, but now it's like it just keeps going and going and going, and it just, it's, it's brilliant, really.
I swear, I thought Sandler was talking about doing a remake of Cinderfella in the old, old days.
It sounds kind of up his alley.
He can say that's true or not.
But I remember, why did I hear that?
I think he really just thought
Jerry was funny.
Spader,
are you doing a new Netflix movie?
You know, that's a great question, Jimmy.
I'm glad that when I just texted you that, you got it.
Because you know what?
The wrong Missy was...
Unbelievably funny.
It was fantastic.
I loved it.
And everyone I recommend, everyone I'm like, dude, you want to laugh, watch the wrong Missy.
You won't even believe how funny.
And everyone's like, this is the funniest movie ever.
The wrong Missy, we stumbled upon.
And I'm finally, there was a rumor at the beginning you were going to ask us questions, but I'm glad it's finally happening.
The wrong Missy.
There was a rumor.
There was a rumor when you were like, I want to ask you guys stuff.
Hey, man, that movie did 200 billion minutes or however they keep track.
I mean, it was insane.
You know, a billion.
It did a billion seconds.
Three billion seconds.
And they go, it's the number one movie in the world.
And you're like, I can't believe it.
They're like, um, we can't believe it.
That's pretty funny.
And then, like, for a week straight, they're like, number one in the world, number one in the world.
And I'm like,
who was the actress that played Missy?
Lauren Lapkus.
And she was great.
Moly, she was funny.
Yeah, Jim Carrey-S.
Levels.
Yes.
Like,
just enough, just enough to be so funny and not annoying.
It was like, yeah, brilliantly done.
She should have won an Oscar.
She should have won a really.
Honestly, you know, Jimmy, I was thinking that because because when Tiffany Haddich was up for an Oscar for road trip, was it?
I was thinking, oh, it is actually possible.
Like
Lauren could have been up for that because, I mean,
it's R-rated and stuff, but she was so good and so out of the blue.
Never seen anything like it.
I was so immortal.
She did so well that I was like,
it wouldn't surprise me.
It would have surprised me because that stuff doesn't happen and it did not.
Who directed that?
What team was that?
That was Tyler Spindell.
That was
from Happy Madison.
Yeah, I I know.
Adam's nephew.
Yeah, he's good.
He's doing a new one with Pierce Brazen right now.
But I would do another wrong miss.
Hey, I actually am meeting someone today about a movie with Lauren because Lauren.
Yeah,
do a sequel, Wronger Miss.
Well, we're like Bogey and Bacall at this point, I feel.
Which one's Bogey?
I don't know.
I don't know who those people are.
That was like an old, an old Laurel and Hardy bit.
They used to go like, no, me and the boss are just like this.
And he crossed their fingers.
And he goes, which one's you?
He's like, well, at any point.
He's like, well, this one's...
Just get out of the other.
Yeah, it crosses.
Which finger is the boss?
Oh, yeah, get out of here.
By the way, enough about me, but I did like that.
Thank you, Jimmy.
No, no problem.
Also, when you guys were talking about Neil Young, I had a confession that you said people have different levels of their voice.
When I was listening to
Guns N' Roses, who a lot of you people know, it's a new band.
The number one song.
The number one song.
When he would do the butt.
Guns and Roses.
What did he do that old song?
Guns and Roses.
Mama take this badge.
Oh, yeah.
I thought it was two people singing.
Guns and Roses with Welcome to the...
Because he goes low and then he goes higher.
You two fucking fools.
Listen to my story.
All right, go ahead, Dave.
Checking in, I'm revive the boss.
Bruce Springsteen, a man in his guitar, a man who likes to call his guitar his own.
And here he is.
He writes, Dear Casey, dear Casey, can I ever play guitar like Bruce Springsteen?
And the answer is yes.
Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.
Dear Casey, I'm a bit of a fucker.
Is there any chance for me in show business?
Of course there is.
He writes, dear Casey, I'm a complete dick to most people I meet.
How can I be a nicer person?
Dear Casey, I read Playboy just for the articles.
Dear Casey, this may be off subject, but I whack off 35 times a day.
Dear Casey, I put a Fitbit on my left hand and I get no steps.
I put a Fitbit on my right hand, I get $500 million.
What am I doing with my right hand?
Dear Casey, my socks tend to droop.
How can I hold them up and keep them from drooping?
Writes Ben Skiller from Tallahassee, Florida.
I put my girlfriend's scrunchie around my dick and balls.
Is there an easy way to get out of here?
Fake.
What are you doing over here?
What are you doing?
What are you doing to me?
What is this?
A corporate game?
Hey, this guy.
He's over here.
This guy.
Over there.
Over here.
No.
Literally.
Get out of here.
Get over here first and then get out of here.
Get over here.
Get the fuck out of here.
Get over here.
Hey, get over here.
Get out of here.
All right, David.
Finish your story.
Now I feel bad.
Nobody gives a fat fuck about my my stupid story about Axel Rose, who's a.
You thought it was two people.
Thank you, Jimmy.
You trapped that story.
But that was the one where he goes, Mama, take my dad.
Mama, take this dad for me.
Yeah.
Hey, Mama.
Wow.
Well, give me welcome to the jungle.
You got him.
You're knocking on heaven's door.
Take this bad journey.
No, he goes,
knocking on heaven's door.
Yeah, yeah.
And I thought that was a different person.
Yeah.
Oh, you'd fucking follow the story.
You're so
Arizona.
You're in your guts.
You, Arizona.
Who are you talking to?
Me or Dana?
No, I like you, Jimmy.
You seem cool.
We're supposed to have dinner tonight.
You know what, Dana?
When you come to.
We're going to celebrity hangout.
Oh, yeah, we are going to go to dinner.
Me and Dana are.
We're cheating on you, Jimmy.
Oh,
is flying the wall being a hit just changing you guys?
Do you act different now?
We're cockier.
Yes.
You are?
And you go to hot spots now, LA hotspots?
We go to hotspots with C and B C and I'm a man about town.
Woo!
Woo!
Making a move in my socks.
They go, oh, you're getting famous.
No one can do what he's doing.
Check his words.
You're getting famous about talking about a show that made you famous.
I'm like, he didn't fade.
He's as sharp as ever.
Almost 80.
I listened to you and Smartless.
They're my favorite podcast.
Oh, what about Clueless?
That's David's new podcast.
Sorry.
I like to go back to the scrunchie around the balls.
That was a real question.
Is it easy to get on for a question?
My wife loves this podcast.
She doesn't like it to go too.
She doesn't want people say, fuck, motherfucker shit, but deep downtown, gynecological type stuff, and balls and dick.
Maybe it's not a favorite.
Downtown, uptown, roundbound.
Roundtown.
I'm doing George Carlin.
Oh, yeah.
Later, George Carlin.
George, drop the G and you'll have orange.
Why are there no blue fruits?
There's no blue shoes.
Download shoes.
Upload, uptown, download.
Big shoes.
Shrimp.
Big shoes.
Little shoes.
Brown shoes.
Yellow shoes.
Girls' shoes.
Boy's shoes.
Everyone needs shoes.
Garage needs to be leather shoes.
They're not selling the garage.
Honey, we're selling the garage.
The king of lists.
He had an incredible.
He memorized the lists, and he would just, yeah, crush it.
Blueberry yogurt, strawberry yogurt, vanilla yogurt.
He'll shut the fuck up all the way.
At the end, it was like that.
It was like, there's no blue food.
And you go, what about blueberries?
And he goes, okay, there's one.
I waited on George Carlin at the Holiday Inn in 1976.
Tell Jimmy.
I brought up a bowl.
And we liked it.
We liked it.
No.
I waited on George Carlin in 1956.
And he was doing hippy-dippy weatherman.
He's a hippy-dippy weatherman.
He's a hippie-doo.
He's not a normal weatherman.
He's a hippie-doo weatherman.
Tomorrow's forecast, hot.
Tonight's forecast, dark.
Tomorrow's forecast, far out, man.
Far out, man.
Who's the greatest?
Greatest guy ever, man.
What about a guy who talks like this?
What's the latest?
What's up by impressions or that?
Just go back.
I was Pat O'Brien.
I did buy Brian like that.
I did a
Pat O'Brien's great.
DJ.
Everything was this voice.
I would do a...
Welcome back.
You're a listener to Z105, everybody.
We're here with
the great David Spade David we're just talking back and say I love I wanted to talk about your movie we'll be right back on the Z
and then you go to they go to commercial and you go David thanks for being here man we're going to talk about your movie it was so funny on Netflix all right here we go we're coming right back
and we're back here Z105 I'm here with David Spade hey David I did not like your movie That was terrible.
And you go, wait, you just told me before.
That's basically how you do Regis Philbert.
You got to go there if you're going to do Regis.
Honest to God, is there anyone better than Jimmy Fellow?
He's very nasal.
I have stolen your Regis Philbert.
I do your Regis Philbert when I do it, and I do Dana yelling like Regis Phil.
That's it.
You got it.
Yeah, I got one.
Jimmy.
Yeah, go.
Before, I got to go in a little bit.
But Jimmy, we have a hard hour.
No, Jimmy, when you go on these radio shows, like they go,
Dana, like you're doing a gig in that town, and they go, You got, you got to call into the zoo.
Oh, yeah, yeah, Tommy.
So they go like this: hey, David, we got 30 seconds.
Okay, we're going to put you on hold, and when we pick up, it's going to be Jim, Bobo, Zip Zip, a talking zebra, a Bitcoin, a robot, and a cockatoo.
Okay, you'll know who everyone is.
Okay, here we go.
Three, two, one.
And you go, wait, what am I?
What's going on?
I was
a DJ.
See if you guys think this is funny.
It's not.
But I was a DJ in college, and I would go, I go,
it's 3.13 in the city, 2.11 on the Dane Rock.
It was always a different time than the real time.
It's 4 o'clock in the city, 3 p.m.
on the Dane Rock.
I don't know what that was my moniker.
It's not bad.
I like it.
It didn't steal it.
Because you're on your own planet.
You're on your own thing when you're listening to Dane Rock.
Dane Rock, I know.
I know.
I like it.
It's 3 p.m.
It's 3 p.m.
in Sacramento, but it's 12.
It's 2-11 in the Jimmy Rock.
And the Jimmy Rock.
On the Jim Rock.
I used to get just Tommy and the Bull.
It's Tommy and the Bull.
You know, you wake up at 6 a.m.
playing some shitbox club in Mississippi.
Tommy and the bull.
Yeah, the Grease Man.
Remember the Grease Man?
Oh, I remember Grease.
The Grease.
What about Lycas?
Dear.
Never pay for a woman's lunch.
All right.
Jimmy, I'll ask you one last question.
David, do you have one last question?
Does he get one last one?
Okay, you got one minute.
I was was going to summarize this whole up here.
Dana usually gets one last question.
Then you start.
Hold on, Dana.
What was it like on Sergeant?
You know, when you're leaving?
That's a worst question.
Do you ever listen?
Howard Stern always ends his interview as the best, where he's like, all right.
Well, we've done it all.
We've said it all.
No, Jimmy, I love Howard.
You've done it all.
David, David, you've done it all.
You've done it all.
So we've said it all.
You've done it all.
It's great.
And you've said it all.
That's it.
So you know you're getting pushed out the door.
Pushing out the door.
They're like, that's the end of the interview.
I like his laugh when he goes,
oh, yeah.
I can't even do it.
I used to do an impression of him and I was just lost.
That was pretty good.
Can I do my Trump not saying anything for you?
Yeah.
Okay, we'll end on that.
There's no subject.
Frankly, let me tell you, you're going to be seeing a lot of it that I can tell you.
I mean, when you look at it, and it didn't work out so great for some of those people, you're seeing it all over the place.
Many people are saying, we don't want that.
We're not people who do that, okay?
So when you look at it, what they're doing, look at all of it, people are very disappointed because it's a terrible deal, a really bad deal.
We're going to be doing something very soon, and you're going to be seeing a lot of it.
You're going to be happy like you wouldn't believe.
He literally has no subject matter.
He's not talking about anything.
Oh, anything
that could fit into anything.
That's his genius.
Wait, do you have one?
Do you have one?
Come on.
Do you have one question?
Sorry, Dana.
What was it like on Saturday Night Live?
All right, so David, do you want to sell it?
No, I would say, what are you happiest about when people stop you at an airport or on the street and they mention a specific thing throughout your long career?
Which is the one that kind of go, oh, you know that one?
You like that one, huh?
Yeah.
You may not have that at the tip of your brain.
Oh, well, like, Cowbell is the sketch everyone asks about.
Oh,
yeah.
That one, which pilot?
Let's not sleep on Cowbell.
One of the best of all time.
That was not, I almost didn't make it to air.
That was not supposed to make it to air.
It was in the, it was in the, what do you call that the
death one the before before good nights.
Yes, it's in the death one.
It was in the death one with Christopher Walken.
Yep.
Oh, Christopher Walken and Will Farrell and
And and it was it was that it aired probably right at the end of the show like probably 10 to one five to one.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was five to one.
It was a weird sketch and everyone was on fire, dude.
Everyone was being super funny.
And it was like my third or fourth show on the show.
And I remember
that's where I got the reputation for laughing and breaking in a a scene because it was just everyone was Will Farrell was so funny, and Katan and Horatio.
And then Walkin was doing like an impression of Walken.
He wasn't even doing it himself.
He was, you know, we got to walk
out.
You know, he was like, it was.
I was like,
more cowbell.
Yeah.
And the room started shaking.
Do you know what?
When the room, when SNL is like shaking, it's hooked.
Yeah.
I mean, I was there that night when
I did a guest spot or something.
And I remember it, I call it levitated the room, like went to another
level.
What sketch of yours crushed the hardest that that
levitated the room?
I was doing, yeah,
I was there for that.
I was doing Church Lady with Joe Montana
and Walter Pate and a lot of sexual innuendo.
I wasn't my proudest moment, but this old guy came up to me afterwards, you know, I'm in charge of sound.
I've been looking at the meters for decades, and I never seen them peek peak like that.
Wow.
And I said, come on.
Oh.
Spanish,
what was your crusher?
Babe?
Too many to mention.
No, Babai.
And you are.
Babai
was probably the one that we only did once or twice that had the most lasting effect.
And then,
oh, one of the best moments is...
When Farley grabs you by the neck and goes, lay off me, I'm starving.
Oh, yeah, the cap girls.
Yeah, when he goes, lay off me, I'm starving.
No, wait,
it's Monday.
Wait, how did we all do impressions?
And David, you did not do Michael J.
Fox.
Oh, we do that a lot of shows.
Yeah, Casualty.
Sorry, you were introduced to me.
David.
It's because it's sad.
I only do one.
No, it's not.
People are waiting for it.
It's the end of the podcast.
Can you say, hey, Sarge?
Hey, Sarge.
Yeah.
And Casualties of War, Michael Fox.
Michael J.
Fox.
Hey, listen.
You got to give me a minute on this here, Sarge.
She's just a farm girl.
She did nothing wrong.
it's you should do cameo as Michael J.
Fox
like you know those things where you can do it's nine dollars yeah yeah and you charge a buck everybody
say sarge
you guys should do oh you're none of us are on snl we do celebrity cameos you should do on your show do all impressions and everyone does their cameo yeah you know it's funny hey i heard it's your birthday sarge
your birthday sarge you're gonna have I can't do it without saying Sarge to someone you need Sarge you gotta have Sarge in there exactly he's talking to uh Sean Penn in the scene because Sean Penn attacked a farm girl and
I heard you're getting your kidney removed Sarge and I just wanted to wish you the key to getting an Oscar is always look like the sun is in your eyes yeah man Sarge oh yeah that is good you're scaring part of it don't give away all the tricks
all right Jimmy I know you got the show tonight we appreciate it Yeah, enjoy the show tonight.
I'd love, thank you so much for inviting me to do the show.
We love to have you.
You're two of my favorite comedians ever on the planet.
And I just love both you guys so much.
And congrats on the show.
And I hope I didn't bore you guys too much.
No way.
It was such a blast.
I told David last night on our walkie talkie, I go, Jimmy's just going to be fun.
And you were.
It was just a blast.
It was just a blast.
We loved all the questions.
Supposed to ask a lot of new requests.
Didn't get to them.
It's just a surprise scare band.
Hey,
go to the galaxy.
That's the price of the
cable crew sweaters.
Okay, bye.
Bye.
Thank you.
Bye, boys.
Hey, what's up, Flies?
What's up, please?
What's up, people that listen?
We want to hear from you and your dumb questions.
Questions?
Ask us anything.
Anything you want.
You can email us at flyonthewall at cadence13.com.
Yeah, you read it.
Okay.
This is from Linda Brandt.
Hi, David and Dana.
That's nice.
Hi, Linda.
If you could go back and be on any season of SNL other than your own, which casts would you most want to work with?
And what do you think you could add to the mix?
Thanks for the podcast.
I look forward to it almost every week.
Sometimes I'm busy.
That's too much information.
So anyway, what do you think?
Who would you go back to?
Look forward to.
I have a big code on it.
By the way, if we ever sell merch, Dana, we'll sell just a black t-shirt.
That's your merch.
It's called Be Simple and Black.
It's called Be Cool.
You're cool.
Chicks like this.
If you have a pair of Levi's and a black t-shirt and you're kind of fit, like most of our crew is here, the ladies go crazy.
It's all about the relationship between the shoulder and the hip.
If I had to go back in time and do an SNL cast,
I think I would probably want to be on that first year just because it was such an explosion.
just blew up the whole country and no one saw it coming.
I don't think I could add a lot to it.
I'm not a super character guy.
I would just like to be there because it was so cool cool and it was such a big fucking deal.
Dana?
Thank you, David.
I think that when I think about people I'd like to play with, I couldn't really pick a
cast or a season, but I'd love to have been in Coned's with Dan Aykroyd or loved to have done something with Bill Murray.
I got to do stuff with Phil Hartman and Mike Myers and Adam Thobalthu and all those people.
Whenever you make a list, later on you're up at night.
What's wrong, honey?
Well, I forgot to mention.
I'd love to be in a killer sketch with Will Farrell.
I did do one where Will is 6'4, 230, and I played his dad, Bush Sr.
He was Bush Jr.
And he had to sit on my lap.
I'm 5'8 ⁇ , 150 on a good day.
So that was, but the surgery was successful.
It was a hip disorder.
But no, we did do that, and that was awesome.
I do also, well, I like everybody.
I think the current cast is best.
I hate a grumpy old man, and my day was better.
I say the current cast, I would love to go in there with Chris Red and Heidi Gardner.
And, you know, obviously, that's all i can do i'm sorry i can't answer the question because it's it's a fool's it's fools yeah you know it takes people a long time to know the cast so by the time you know them well is by the time when they leave so the cast is usually more famous after the show uh when we were there not many people knew us and then you leave and they go oh that was such a great time meanwhile everyone said we sucked so when we were there and that usually happens they go this this cast sucks i wish i'd stayed a few more longer i could have gone toe-to-toe with you we since we should have done some kind of like hey I'm Fricky, I'm Fracky.
You know, it's a little talk show.
Characters.
Fricky and Fracky could have possibly gone a read-through and crushed it.
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Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey and the executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung-Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.
Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech.
Booking by Cultivated Entertainment.
Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hilary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira.
Reach out with us any questions to asked and answered on the show?
You can email us at flyonthewall at odyssey.com.
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